Formal verbal

I have been going to a rheumatologist for a few years on and off now. a few years back I was diagnosed with AMPS which I always thought was inaccurate or at least not the only thing going on. for a while now I've thought I probably had hEDS as I think I fit the criteria. after a long break I've had a few more appointments with the rheumatologist and during one my mother (I'm a minor so unfortunately she comes) mentioned me fitting some symptoms for EDS as apparently it's obvious enough for even my mother to pick up on. the doctor did an exam type thing that seems similar to tests for hEDS but she never verbally told me I had it. from that point on in her notes she referred to me as having both AMPS and hEDS but it was not formally written that she diagnosed me anywhere. I went back once after that but didn't get a chance to bring it up because my mother really takes over the appointments and when she does that I kinda just shut down socially and just sit there (I'm autistic). I want to know if this counts as a diagnosis because having an accurate one is important for accomodations when I'm struggling to function.

Oklahoma City, OK – Mrs. Lauren Peck-Weisenfels, the drama teacher at Classen School of Advanced Studies at North East High School, has come under scrutiny for allegations of bullying and discriminatory behavior towards autistic and physically disabled students. The claims have ignited concerns about the treatment of vulnerable students in the school’s drama department.
A Troubled Past
Four years ago, Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels was a teacher at Classen School of Advanced Studies Middle School. During a virtual class in 2020, she allegedly expressed disdain for teaching autistic and special education students, stating, "I hate teaching autistic & special Ed students!" This remark, reportedly overheard by the mothers of two seventh-grade students, prompted complaints to the school administration.
Despite these allegations, Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels was later transferred to the high school, where she continued to teach drama. Concerns about her behavior persisted as students from her middle school classes advanced to high school and found themselves once again under her instruction.
Current Allegations
This school year, a sophomore student who had previously encountered Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels in middle school was placed in her class due to limited elective options. According to the student and their mother, Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels continued to exhibit unkind and discriminatory behavior. The student, who is physically disabled, was allegedly ridiculed for their inability to keep up with costume-making tasks and was marginalized within the class.
In February 2024, Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels emailed the student's mother, stating her intention to fail the student for wearing headphones in class, even though the student was not being disruptive. The email hinted that Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels felt slighted by the student’s lack of engagement, which the mother attributes to previous verbal and emotional abuse.
The Role of Headphones for Autistic Students
Headphones are a critical tool for many autistic individuals, particularly teenagers, to manage sensory overload. Studies show that about 87% of autistic individuals experience sensory sensitivities. Headphones can help mitigate overwhelming sounds, enabling students to focus better and participate in classroom activities more comfortably.
Despite this, Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels reportedly expressed a desire to fail the student for wearing headphones in class. This attitude reflects a lack of understanding and accommodation for the needs of autistic students, who often use such tools to navigate their environment effectively.
May Incident and Unreported Bullying
In May 2024, tensions escalated further when Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels threatened to fail the student over a makeup project, despite the student attending their grandmother's funeral. This incident, while serious, was not formally reported at the time.
Additionally, another student, who uses a cane due to a physical disability, has been subjected to bullying by Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels and her entourage of students. The bullying has occurred behind the student's back and included mockery of their use of a cane and their social media activities, particularly on Tumblr. These actions were not reported until the evening of May 17, 2024, when the student with headphones informed their mother about the incidents.
The May 17 Incident
On May 17, 2024, Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels and a group of students allegedly taunted the aforementioned student in her office, calling them "lazy," "deaf," "ditzy," "slow," "stupid," and "a hindrance to the drama department." Believing the student couldn’t hear due to their headphones, the group reportedly yelled the student's name mockingly. The student, however, overheard everything but chose not to engage.
The same day, Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels reportedly threw a tantrum, slamming items around the classroom in an attempt to provoke a reaction from the student, who continued to ignore her.
Perpetuating Ableism and Discriminatory Rhetoric
Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels’ behavior is not only harmful to the targeted students but also perpetuates ableist and discriminatory rhetoric among her student entourage. By encouraging and participating in the mockery of disabled students, she is teaching her followers to normalize and perpetuate these harmful attitudes. According to psychological studies, teenagers are highly impressionable, and the behavior modeled by authority figures can significantly influence their beliefs and actions.
The Psychology of Living Vicariously Through Teenagers
Research indicates that some adults feel the need to live vicariously through teenagers, seeking approval and acting like them to fulfill unmet emotional needs or relive their own youth. This behavior can be particularly detrimental when exhibited by educators, as it blurs the boundaries between professional and personal interactions. Statistics show that about 30% of adults who exhibit this behavior struggle with identity issues and seek validation through younger individuals.
For teenagers, witnessing an adult, especially an educator, behave in such a manner can lead to confusion, loss of respect for authority, and the normalization of inappropriate behavior. This can contribute to a culture of bullying and exclusion, as students may mimic the adult's actions to gain favor or avoid becoming targets themselves.
The normalization of such discriminatory behavior can have lasting effects, contributing to a culture of intolerance and bullying. Studies indicate that witnessing or participating in bullying can lead to increased aggression, anxiety, and a distorted sense of empathy among youths. It is crucial to address these issues to prevent the spread of abusive behaviors and to promote a supportive and inclusive environment.
Parental Actions and School Response
Following these events, the student with the headphones relayed the incidents to their mother after school on May 17. The mother promptly contacted Kendall Stills with OKCPS via text message, though no response was received. That evening, the mother filed a formal TIPS report with Oklahoma City Public Schools (OKCPS), detailing the history of bullying and including screenshots as evidence. She also contacted the parents of the student with the cane, encouraging them to email Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels and file a formal TIPS report. The mother included the names of the students in Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels' entourage and mentioned her own student in the report to help corroborate the incidents.
The parents involved are currently awaiting a response from OKCPS. Given that next week marks the last few days of the school year, it is uncertain when or if a resolution will be reached. The allegations against Mrs. Peck-Weisenfels highlight broader issues of inclusivity and respect for disabled students within the educational system.
Broader Implications
The situation at Classen School of Advanced Studies raises important questions about the responsibility of educators to create a supportive and nondiscriminatory environment for all students, particularly those with disabilities. As the community awaits the school district’s response, the case underscores the need for vigilance and advocacy to protect the rights and well-being of vulnerable students.

I say "apparently" because... well... you'll see.
This happened decades ago now, back in primary school. I only remembered it because I was recently catching up with old friends from back then, and we got to laughing over old stories and then someone mentioned, "The wildest was when you organised that whole protest against our teacher."
"The time I did what?"
The consensus was I did, indeed, organise the entire class to rebel against our teacher that resulted in her being deposed and our class getting a "substitute" for the rest of the year. I almost fell out of my chair hearing this story from their mouths. It wasn't that I didn't remember it, of course I did--that year was awful. It was just that it existed very differently in my memory.
Two important pieces of background knowledge to understand here:

1. I went to a very very small, very very rural school. How small? Each classroom was composed of the entire year level, and the largest had at most 30 kids in them. My class/year level was on the smallest in the entire school, with a piddling 14 kids in it altogether. While we still had our cliques and factions, our small size caused our class to be very tight knit and protective of each other. How rural? The school building itself was incredibly small, but one thing we were not short on was gigantic empty fields surrounding us on all sides. Great for sports, great for (it turns out) student protests.
2. I was, at the time, undiagnosed autistic. I mean I still am autistic, I'm just formally diagnosed now. But back then I was just seen as being a very quirky kid. One of the ways this quirkiness manifested was that I really had trouble adapting to the rules and structure of grade school and how it differed from what I was used to. At home if I wanted to pee, I just went to the toilet. Now I have to put my hand up? Now I have to ask permission to piss? Then I went home and put my hand up to ask my mom for permission to pee and she told me I didn't need to! Madness! Chaos! I don't care what the rules are, please just be consistent!

But one of the main parts of my brain and the way it works is that sometimes my brain, separate from my will, would just make a decision about a course of action and I would very calmly commit to it come hell or high water. Like, it is vitally important that I stay true to this course of action. I can't explain it. It's like I set a rule for myself and if something disrupts that, I just shut down and stop functioning.
So when the school said, "Okay, when this bell rings during recess/lunch, that means you have to leave the playground and go back to class", I was a confused child already struggling with all these completely nonsensical limitations and guidelines imposed on me. So when that bell rang, I got that calm little voice in my head that said, "Hmm, no, I'm good out here actually. I don't think I will go back into class." So I would just continue to sit out on the playground, playing with my plastic spider toys or sitting on the swing. Teachers would realise what was going on and come out to get me and tell me I have to go back to class, and I would just very calmly hear them out and then smile at them and politely as possible tell them, "No thank you, I want to stay out here."
They really didn't know what to do with me. I wasn't getting upset, I wasn't throwing a tantrum, I wasn't yelling, I wasn't being rude in any way. I was incredibly docile and would let them explain things to me with endless patience and then just politely refute them and go back to what I was doing, like this was just a very normal and reasonable negotiation between two equal parties. I have memories of sitting on the swing while three very confused and flustered adult staff huddled around me trying to bribe me with candy to go back to class. It would take a whole lesson block to lure me back to the classroom, and then at lunch the whole thing would start over again. It took me three years at school to finally accept the status quo thanks to a religious nutter I got for a teacher, and finally went back to class when the bell rang (was never happy about it though).
I eventually settled into school life. Excelled at subjects I liked, at least passed subjects I didn't, followed the rules, was seen as intelligent and obedient and was often liked by my teachers. Until my final year, when we got the teacher I can only rudely monniker Mrs Bigmouth.
Mrs Bigmouth should not have been a teacher. She had a trigger temper and would explode into long, verbally abusive tirades against us if we ever did anything she felt was disrespectful behaviour. What was disrespectful behaviour? Damned if I know. It changed day by day, depending on mood. You could disrespect her to her face one day and she'd laugh and say you have such razor wit, and politely ask a question the next and she'd scream at you for ten nonstop minutes then give you a week of DT for talking back. The absolute peak moment of her boiling temper came when she threw a dictionary at a girl's head because she was whispering to me in class. When I tell you it missed her by half an inch...
But believe it or not, this wasn't what made her such an awful teacher. It was so hard to get teachers at rural schools back then, there was almost nothing you could do to get fired, so we had experience with teachers with nightmare tempers. What made her such an issue was her big mouth. She used us, her trapped audience, as free therapy. She would infodump, traumadump, about her very personal, very private life to us. All day. She'd be two words into a spelling list and launch into an extended story session about her marital issues with her husband. We'd be heads down doing fractions and, unprompted, she'd declare to the class that her adult daughter no longer talks to her and then diatribe to us about it until the bell rang. She had money issues, a contentious relationship with her parents, her marriage was on the rocks. She once pulled me aside after school and spoke with me, at length, about how she was thinking of having another child to try to repair her marriage. I was like, okay lady, I'm 11, about to miss my bus, and my house is a 4 hour walk on foot from here.
We weren't learning. We'd hadn't had a complete lesson since the first week of the school year. We were behind on the cirriculum and frustrated. One kid had brought a stopwatch into school and would time lessons vs her monologues and kept detailed lists, and we would come to school each morning and do betting pools on them. What subject would she interrupt, what would she talk about, and how long would it go.
But all that still wasn't the breaking point if you can believe it. No! Still not! The problem was it wasn't just her own private life she couldn't keep her mouth shut about. It was everyone else's. Because parents would make the reasonable assumption that she should be told things as our class teacher that would be important to know, and that she would understand these things were said in confidence. Instead she would veer randomly off in the middle of talking to us about her horrible weekend to let us know whatever private or traumatic thing was going on in a classmate's life that she had been made aware of. That was awful. That was what made that year hell. It wasn't even about when my secrets were shared with the entire class against my consent. It was watching the faces of my small, lovely, supportive class of 11 year old children go pale and scrunch up with held-back tears as things they never wanted to share were announced like morning news. God we hated her.
Then one day that voice came. The one I hadn't heard in years. The bell ring to go back into class and that voice said, "But I don't want to be in that classroom. I'm not even being taught there." So I just... didn't. I didn't go back to class. I just sat in the playground in a daze eating grass (don't eat grass, it's not good for your teeth). Despite how small my class was, I don't think Mrs Bigmouth even noticed I wasn't there. Others did though. Come lunch and everyone came out, my friends asked me where I was and I said, "Oh, I didn't go back to class."
"Why didn't you go back to class?"
"Why would I go back to class?"
Lightbulb moment for my schoolmates. Yeah, why would they go back to class? What was the point? From a practical standpoint, they weren't learning. From an emotional standpoint, it was horrible to be there. A friend who had had her family's dirty laundry aired to the entire class just last week, things even she didn't know because her parents tried to keep it from her, asked if she could sit with me rather than go back to class. I just stared at her, vacant and confused.
"Sure? I mean, I'm just eating grass though."
Over the next few days, two kids turned into four, turned into ten, turned into the whole class. The whole class was doing a sit-out protest on the field rather than go back to class. Of course Mrs Bigmouth tried to do something about it. She'd come out, screaming at us and threatening us with DT and internal suspension, but six months of that behaviour had totally vaccinated us against her. I'd become the de facto leader and spokesperson of the protest by merit of being the first to sit out and also because I was well known to not give a shit (autistic brain: I actually just frequently had trouble reading and reacting with the correct social behaviour but it gave me a cool and aloof bad boy mystique I guess). I gave her the exact same treatment from back in grade one. I would let her scream, let her holler, let her threaten, let her spittle rain down on me, and then I would give her a sweet and innocent smile and nod in acknowledgement and say, "No thank you, we're going to remain out here." And thirteen pairs of eyes would stare at her in total silence. No one, not even the most gobbermouthed little shite in the class, would volunteer a word. The unspoken agreement was all negotiations were my responsibility.
The thing about angry people is that they feed off conflict. They get you angry so they can respond with even more anger and it nourishes them. She had no absolutely no plan of action on how to deal with me patiently hearing her out then refuting her in the gentlest of terms.
Another thing that ended up helping down the line is that we made an attempt to conduct our own classes. I mean, they sucked and we didn't learn much because we were kids with no supervision, but it was really cute in retrospect. We'd have groups of people assigned to subjects, with some people bringing in words they found in a dictionary for spelling lists and others bringing in old 6th grade homework from older siblings. The heart was there and it served a purpose, if not educational.
"Okay, but how did no one else notice this was happening? Surely people would notice 14 kids sitting on the lawn, not in class?"
Rural school. Big. Empty. Fields. Even screaming at us, the most other classrooms would hear would be muffled voices, and everyone was used to hearing her yelling at us or taking us out onto the field abruptly to make us do laps as group punishment. Plus the way the school buildings were arranged was that it was actually all in one straight line of adjacent rooms, and ours happened to be at the very end of the building. No windows faced the field we all sat in except that of our own classroom. It was just a very lucky arrangement of coincidences and preconceived notions, at least for a couple weeks. I couldn't tell you the exact number, this was so long ago and as a kid I definitely had a more stretched idea of time. Minutes felt like hours, especially during that year. But there was definitely at least two weekends that passed by since the "sit-out protest" started.
Eventually someone cottoned on to what was happening, or maybe Mrs Bigmouth humbled herself and finally confessed to her boss that she had lost control of a bunch of 11-year-olds, so we were called into the principal's office to sort this out. As the representative of our class, I was of course chosen to attend the meeting, flanked by the girl who'd had the dictionary thrown at her head and my friend who was the first to sit out with me. Since I understood that this meeting was one where we were probably going to be yelled at for doing the wrong thing, a thing I had ample experience of, I felt like the easiest way to mitigate things (especially since I felt guilty for being the instigator) was to explain in a very rational and logical way the series of events that led up to our bad behaviour. As well, for my entire life my mother had always taught me that it was no good complaining about things unless you were also willing to think of solutions. "I'm hungry!" - "Well, what's a solution to that problem?" - "Uh, make myself a sandwich?" - "Great! Let's do that together!"
So what did I do? Of course, to make things as clean and concise as possible, I interviewed my class one by one to hear each individual story of why they didn't feel comfortable going to class anymore, itemised them under categories (Verbal Aggression; Interruptions of Lessons; Oversharing Student Life) for easier discussion because my little quirky brain loved itemising things, and then as a kind of olive branch came up with solutions (we wanted to finish lessons unhindered, we wanted our personal privacy to be respected, we wanted to be able to catch our bus on time rather than being held back with unfair DT or long "chats"). So many things sort of came together in this beautiful, wholly accidental way. We had months of records of timed rants and monologues, noted down to the millisecond thanks to that kid's stopwatch. We had records of us trying to teach ourselves during the protests, showing this wasn't us just not wanting to go to class but due to us feeling as though we did not have a class to go to. When the principal heard all this, her jaw it the floor. A lot of it was stuff she knew, peripherally, but things had just never been laid out so neatly before. Some of it was stuff we'd complained to parents about, but it was one kid coming home and telling one parent one time, weeks ago. There was no real sense, up until now, the sheer scope of her behaviour. She didn't even answer us. She just said, "Okay, I need to call your parents."
We got the rest of the week off school. That weekend, every parent of every student came to a meeting between them, Mrs Bigmouth, and the principal. Stories were swapped. My exercise book with my tidy little lists and the records of the betting pool and monologue times were confiscated and brought into the meeting. I don't know what went down, but when my mother came home she just told me that Mrs Bigmouth would not be our problem for the rest of the school year, and more importantly, that she was incredibly proud of me and that I did the right thing. Rarely in my childhood had my inability to integrate into normal society led me to doing the right thing, so I just remember crying and hugging and feeling vindicated about, I don't know, just existing or something.
So yeah. From the outside perspective here is what it looked like: I, the ringleader with a history of dismissing school rules, organised a sit-out strike amongst my class. I kept the protest peaceful and non-disruptive to other classes. When negotiations with the principal were finally arranged, as the representative I compiled a clear list of greivances, with evidence, and a list of reasonable demands. I mean, holy crap, yes, yes I clearly organised a student protest.
The actual results of it are mixed. We got a revolving door of substitute teachers of varying quality for the rest of the school year, occasionally being bundled into other classrooms entirely when they couldn't find someone. It wasn't a great learning environment and we continued to struggle a lot, but it was better than before. Mrs Bigmouth was not actually fired but put on leave for the rest of the school year, then returned and was put in charge of a different year level (which happened to be the class of the younger sister of a guy in my class: according to him, she was quiet as a church mouse that entire year so I hope at least she learned her lesson, or at least finally got divorced and went to actual therapy). The entire ordeal caused our already small and close class to become really really supportive and like family to each other and we all remain in touch until this day. And we became fierce about standing up for ourselves.
I kind of learned to parse the difference between when it was appropriate to go along with set societal rules even if I don't understand them, and when those rules were just straight up unreasonable and nobody should be required to follow them. I did, years alter, lead an actual (very small) strike at work but intentionally that time. My mother was proud of me then too. :)

I rent a room in a house and have currently been living here six months. I live with my landlord and every month for rent I write her a check. In all the time I’ve lived here I never signed a lease- just had a verbal agreement with my landlord on what I would pay and that my lease would be month to month with me giving a month’s notice before moving out.
Recently the landlord kicked out our other roommate who had been living here just as long as me. This was done on the spot over a personal issue between them and she was given 24 hours to pack up and move out.
Certainly this has to be illegal, right? If someone can prove they’ve lived there for 30 days aren’t they considered a resident and have to go through the formal eviction process regardless if a lease has been signed or not?
I ask because the landlord has apparently done this twice and wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to again. I just want to be prepared because I won’t let this slide if I’m ever in this situation. I’m in Kansas if that helps.

Both my best friend and I are autistic, i have been formally diagnosed recently and i know he definitely is autistic, but he has that internalized ableism that makes him deny the obvious.
Well, the thing is that one of his special interests and most recent hyperfixiation is honkai star rail. And i viscerally hate it with every cell of my body for personal reasons.
I've asked him (always being polite) to stop talking me about star rail, explicitly saying i hate the game and the reasons i hate it (which have nothing to do with him). And instead of understanding and changing the subject, he "defended himself" (attacking me) saying i was also annoying talking about topics he didn't liked (the only time i talked to him of something he didn't liked is to show him a cartoon character he could like, and indeed liked)
We can talk literally about anything, and we share a lot in common. One of our shared special interests is anime. But he instead chooses to talk about a game i've been very verbal about my hatred for it.
He constantly writes pages and pages of star rail when we are talking about other things, the same pages over again, he is being pushy and trying to get me in the game.
I don't know what to do honestly. He is not a bad boy, but i hate when he pushes me one of the things i hate the most all the time, to the point of a meltdown...

I already speak it 95% fluenty, i ask a couple very formal words but i can very easily speak to other farsi speakers and understand them verbally but i do not understand the writing at all, i heard it takes 4-7 days to learn it all because fluent speakers already know the order of words and their meanings so all they really need to learn is the characters and spelling of the words (can be sounded out). I would just like to confirm how long it would take

I already speak it 95% fluenty, i ask a couple very formal words but i can very easily speak to other farsi speakers and understand them verbally but i do not understand the writing at all, i heard it takes 4-7 days to learn it all because fluent speakers already know the order of words and their meanings so all they really need to learn is the characters and spelling of the words (can be sounded out). I would just like to confirm how long it would take
posting this here because actual language learning subredits hate it when you specify a language

I posted this in other subs, but it had me thinking and still struggling if I was overreacting to how bad this really is. The original is very long so I snipped out a few parts, while keeping the parts I felt were pertinent. If you want to see the original, please go to my profile.
I suffered through narcissistic abuse by my partner for 23 years. This incident happened when we were still friends. If I had I only known the truth when this had originally happened, I would have been saved from decades of emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, and physical abuse. (And currently post-separation abuse).
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
A couple of months later me and Bub started dating. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that and it's possible I simply didn't remember right. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. A lot of things happened between here and the summer of 2023 when the conclusion to this situation came to an end. I will say I really started to acknowledge he was abusive, but I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
I can honestly say, since I was raised in dysfunction, I have a very skewed idea of what is normal 17-year-old behavior. Maybe he never said anything because of shame, despite the fact it was still on my mind, and he could have stopped it at any time. Is this really as diabolical and INSANE as I think it is? Am I wrong to think only a truly evil person would do this? Or is this as insignificant as he and his friends are claiming?

Hi lawyers. My common law partner and I separated at the end of January. It's all been very sudden for me and I'm still working on processing it all.
In our mediation discussions (which mostly resulted in me giving her what she wanted without getting anything of value in return, but I think our mediator was biased as well), she asked me to stay as the guarantor on her mortgage. She owned the property before we met and I was never put on the deed, so I have no ownership of the property because, well, common law.
I agreed to stay as the guarantor and prior to the mediation we had verbally agreed that I wouldn't make a claim against the house or the CCB, but that she would be solely responsible for the mortgage moving forward (she uses the CCB to pay the mortgage to the best of my understanding; she has no formal employment that I'm aware of and lives off the child support money I send her and the CCB). In fact she even pressured me to write and sign a note that I wouldn't make claims against either the house or the CCB. I (stupidly) did so, though it was not witnessed, and didn't include the other terms of the verbal agreement. This was all before it got nasty though.
Anyway yesterday she asked, through the mediator, for me to consider taking back some of the debt that she had rolled into the mortgage over the last 11 years of us living together. Most of that was debts racked up from our regular family life, but she took a portion of my OSAP loan on as well, about $16k of it. She also rolled some car payments into the mortgage, though she became the primary driver of two of those vehicles and pressed me into signing over complete ownership of the 2nd to her when this all happened.
I said that, because of our verbal agreement and because I was carrying consumer debt stemming from our family life and her small business roughly equal to the amount of "my" debt that she rolled into the mortgage as secure debt, plus the $20k inheritance that I had received that she had earmarked and spent before it was even in my account, I wasn't comfortable or willing to take back any of that debt. The mediator didn't seem to try to get either one of us to move on it and just told my ex to talk to a lawyer about it.
The question is, does she have a legal basis to sue me for that debt, and if she does, can I counter sue for unjust enrichment on the house? I don't want this to go to court but affording a lawyer right now isn't really an option so if she forces the issue I might need to force the sale of the house just to cover my legal costs (legal aid isn't an option for me).
Tl:Dr my ex might want to sue me for some of "my" debt that she rolled into the mortgage. Can she do that and can I counter sue despite our verbal and partially written agreement?

I posted this in other subs, but it had me thinking and still struggling if I was overreacting to how bad this really is. The original is very long so I snipped out a few parts, while keeping the parts I felt were pertinent. If you want to see the original, please go to my profile.
I suffered through narcissistic abuse by my partner for 23 years. This incident happened when we were still friends. If I had I only known the truth when this had originally happened, I would have been saved from decades of emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, and physical abuse. (And currently post-separation abuse).
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
A couple of months later me and Bub started dating. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that and it's possible I simply didn't remember right. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. A lot of things happened between here and the summer of 2023 when the conclusion to this situation came to an end. I will say I really started to acknowledge he was abusive, but I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
I can honestly say, since I was raised in dysfunction, I have a very skewed idea of what is normal 17-year-old behavior. Maybe he never said anything because of shame, despite the fact it was still on my mind, and he could have stopped it at any time. Is this really as diabolical and INSANE as I think it is? Or should I be giving him more grace due to his age when he did this?

My partner and I have lived together for almost two years. He is more on the neurotypical side while I have been showing signs of autism for years. I’ve never been formally diagnosed and I don’t try to get a diagnosis now out of fear of judgement in a professional setting and the cost of testing. But I’m all but certain I show very significant signs of autism.
I’ve always really struggled feeling “different”. I don’t react to certain things “typically”. I also am very obvious, as much as I try to mask, when I’m trying to read emotions. So if something is happening and I’m trying to understand I can look very deadpan. And plain and simple I don’t understand some things the way others around me do. Reading the room/emotions can be extremely difficult and exhausting for me.
Sometimes my ability to read emotions or respond with the correct emotions affects my partner which can be very upsetting to me. I just recently was really struggling to regulate due to something minor and I just broke down. He struggles to know how to help me which leaves me feeling abandoned. I just am left alone to deal with big emotions when I crave something I just can’t verbalize what.
It leaves me feeling so sad, embarrassed, ashamed, and lonely. I just feel so alone in how I process things especially in my household where I feel I’m not understood in moments that feel crucial to me.

Hi all, I hit a parked car in Birchanger services in Jan. They were very tight to the line in their space, as was the car in the other bay next to the one I was attempting to enter, but I still went in next to it and caught it whilst straightening up; my fault. No damage at all to my car, but left a mark and a dent on the third party’s car. Left a note and went into the services, and they’d rang me before I left, so went back and verbally exchanged details. All was amicable. I continued with my trip and reported to my insurance on my return home a couple of days later. My insurance (Churchill) informed me that the process as far as I was concerned was complete at that point; there’d be nothing to pay and it’d be just a matter of lost NCB at renewal. I went on with my life satisfied I’d done the right thing.
That was until I got home from work tonight and found a letter from a solicitor acting on behalf of the third party. It contains a Certificate of Service, including a Claim Form, and all of the invoices associated with the repairs and the subsequent hire of a replacement vehicle while theirs was repaired. This totals to over £14,000, only £3700ish which is repairs. The way it’s worded, I have to respond accepting fault, and therefore pay the costs, or defend the claim either fully or in part. I cannot afford the costs, nor do I have any intention of defending the claim, as I don’t feel I have a leg to stand on in that regard, particularly as I (naively, I admit) didn’t take pictures at the scene. The pictures that the assessor has taken match the damage done, and it was a brand new Audi Q4 E-Tron, so was bound to be expensive, but the bulk of the cost is for the hire of a replacement vehicle which totals over £500 a day. The solicitor has deemed this acceptable as a reasonable replacement vehicle covering the loss of their vehicle during the duration of the repairs.
Is this paperwork a formality, and the costs stated will be covered by my insurance (Fully comprehensive, including legal cover)? Or should I prepare myself for an economic shafting? My poor wife is shaking with anxiety and I’m trying to play it cool as a formality that’ll all be sorted by the insurance, but I don’t know that’s the case and I’d rather know for sure and be able to be honest to her either way.
I am in England

Chapter 25 - The Job Offer
Previous Chapter
The massive shuttle rocketed through the atmosphere as Trix reached out to nudge the throttle down slightly. Josh was right, it wasn’t anything like flying an Aircar. At first it consisted of programming in the destination, desired speed, height, and letting the computer do all the work. When she expressed dissatisfaction at that, Ma’et had kicked the boys out of the cockpit and showed her how to access the manual flight stick. That was where things began to get fun.
And then when turning down the gravitic inertial compensation so she could FEEL the power of the shuttle pressing her back in her seat, feel the vibration of the wind against the shuttle as it roared through the skies, feel her body pulled to one side or the other as she sent it into a tight turn… that was when the world fell away entirely. The skies opened up in a vast vista before her.
Ma’et sat beside her, occasionally mentioning a tip or trick here. A small adjustment to make there. The shuttle had zero control surfaces, it handled like a brick - but it compensated for all of that with sheer, raw power. The power to smash through the sound barrier like it was made of paper. The power to soar effortlessly a few feet above the waves, or to rocket up into the stratosphere with ease. Gravity was a mere suggestion, one which Trix rejected entirely.
After a few minutes Ma’et went into the back to speak with the others. “I think our girl is completely hooked. She picked that up faster than anyone I’ve ever seen before.”
Josh walked over to Ji, handing him a small pill and a cup of water. While most of the crew was fine with the reduced inertial compensation and the feeling of actual motion that Trix was putting the shuttle through, Ji was the exception. He was definitely looking very green about the gills. “Guess we’re seeing thousands of years of flight instinct coming to the fore. That’s the best explanation I can come up with at least.”
“I was wondering about that.” Ma’et sat down next to the captain’s head and smacked the side of his head lightly. “Would a species that evolves from birds be naturals at flying? If she’s any indication the answer is ‘yes’.”
“I don’t know how universal it was. In the races there were some pretty decent pilots but you ask me, Trix outflew them all. S’why I’m thinking maybe she’d be a natural pilot.”
Josh glanced over at them. “I think she’s better than me. And I’ve been flying this thing for decades.”
Ma’et nodded. “She took to every bit of instruction we gave her like it was second nature. I don’t know if it’s because she descended from a flying species or what, but she’s a natural. If the rest of the planet has as many naturally skilled pilots as she is, then every captain this side of Mars will want to hire them on.”
“Well, that’s assuming we let her fly stick in the first place.” Min pointed out. “I think that first bit where we had her on autopilot actually made her mood WORSE.”
“Either way, I want to see whether or not she can take those flight skills and upgrade ‘em to zero-g.” Alex sat up and tapped the conference button on his breath mask and turned off the translator. “Crew meeting. Amanda, you there?”
Amanda had spent most of the morning in the Presh manor, going over some of the finer details of the proposals for exchange between Terrafault and the locals. Meaning while they were out joyriding above the ocean, she was up to her neck in paperwork thousands of kilometers away. “I’m here, Alex. What’s going on?”
“We’re on the shuttle. I put Trix at the helm. She’s phenomenal. I’m taking an official vote. All in favor of offering her a position on the ship as pilot?”
“Aye.” Ma’et and Min-ah spoke as one. “Sure.” was Josh’s response.
“Wait. Pilot? Hold on, Al….”
Ji raised a thumb, but didn’t speak - concentrating on keeping his mouth closed as much as he could. “Par?”
“There are a number of advantages it would bring. I have not interacted with her as much as you have, but our conversations have been pleasant. I vote yes.”
“Hold on, hold on!” Amanda tried to interject. “Alexander, before you go tearing off and….”
“Too late. Six to one, you’re outvoted. Do me a favor and draw up an employment contract.” Alex pushed the leave button on the chat, smiling. He missed whatever response Amanda made but he was sure it was spectacular judging by Min and Ma’ets reactions to it.
He unbuckled himself from the seat restraint, and made his way up to the cockpit. “How’s it going up here?”
“Fine, fine.” Trix made a dismissive gesture. “I’m doing fine up here. No need to check in on me.”
“That’s not why I’m here. Do me a favor, and put the autopilot on back to the Presh mansion. I’ll send Ma’et up here to watch it. But you and I need to have a little chat, so out of the cockpit for now.”
Trix looked up at him in surprise, then frowned and pushed the release button on the control stick. She pulled up the list of previous destinations just as Ma’et had showed her before, and touched the control to send the shuttle back to land near the capitol of the Presh lands.
In the back of the shuttle, Ji was looking decidedly unwell, and Josh was at his side. Ma’et scrambled back up front while Trix took a seat on the center couch, and Alex sat down opposite her.
“So, Trix, not gonna beat around the bush here. You were great in the race. You took to the shuttle just fine. I want to see how well you do flying a bigger ship. My ship.” he gestured up above his head.
“What, like now? I thought we were heading back to the Presh?” Trix glanced up, as though she could see the massive bronze ship out there through the ceiling of the shuttle.
“We are. But I don’t mean right now. I mean, I want to hire you as a pilot. For our trip out to JR692 to survey minerals. Off planet, on my ship.”
Trix froze up entirely at this. Not even a direct impact to her helmet by a challenge round could have been more unexpected and surprising, and she found herself entirely unable to respond. Unable to THINK.
Alex took her sudden silence as indecision, though, and decided to just press forward. “Honestly it’s a huge decision, it’s not something I’m expecting a yes or no right now on. You haven’t been around us very long, just a few weeks here on the planet. But you’ve gotten along superbly with Ji and Min. That alone makes me think you’d do well up on the ship.”
“I… uh, I hadn’t…” Trix stumbled over her words for a moment, then coughed suddenly. “I’m not sure. Uh, I really don’t know how to fly a space ship.”
“I know. I’m not expecting you to know how to right away. Flying outside an atmosphere with no gravity is worlds different than flying an aircar or the shuttle, and you’ve got zero experience. But to be blunt, I have a good gut feeling about you and I want to give you a chance to learn and join us.” Alex held up a hand, ticking off points on his fingers.
“First, we are a seriously social species. We make friends easy and quickly. That means when we find someone we like we want to be around them. That’s already a big point in your favor. Second, after we complete our survey mission your testimony to Kyshe can help alleviate her worries about whether or not we can be trustworthy. Third, ours is a small crew and we have to split duties. If you’ll join us and take on the role of pilot, that will reduce the load on the rest of the crew. And lastly, in the future I hope that our two societies will be able to interact a lot more closely. But people will be reluctant to take that first step. If you join us and it works out well, then others who would be reluctant will be more likely to do the same in the future.”
“However!” Alex let his hands fall back to his sides. “With all that said, it’s not all sunshine and roses. It’s going to be a lot of work to learn how to fly the ship. It’s going to be long hours spent learning and training, and lots of the training will be boring. If you do decide to come with us, then it means spending a lot of time in close quarters with the crew. We won’t be able to return until we complete our survey mission, which normally lasts at least a full month. During which there WILL be a lot of tedious chores that need to be done around the ship, and you’ll be expected to help out. We split the chores fairly, and you won’t be made to do anything unreasonable that the rest of us won’t do.”
Alex leaned back on the seat, and crossed his arms. “So that’s the offer. I want you to become the first Sovalin to work alongside Humans. You’ll be paid fairly, you’ll have good accommodations and recreation available, but it’s going to be a lot of work and if you agree you can’t back out anytime soon. Our current plan is to head to JR692 in roughly a week. Take as much time until then to decide. If you have any questions at all, don’t hesitate to let us know.”
—--
Kyshe glared irritably at the human across from her desk. He had arrived at her request, alone and without any of the rest of his crew. “Captain. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”
“Always happy to be here. Since I wasn’t escorted by soldiers this time I take it I’m not in trouble?” Alex grinned and tried to lighten the mood with a joke.
“I would not go that far. The only reason I did not order your arrest is because I am trying, very hard, to afford you the benefit of the doubt. And I would appreciate it very much if you would explain to me why I should continue to exercise that restraint.” One of her wingtips, adorned with a metal sheath similar to the ones that Sophie often wore, tapped against the floor as she sat waiting in her chair.
“Okay, I’m assuming this isn’t about us breaking the sound barrier out over the ocean.” Kyshe glared and nodded. “So it’s about the job offer. There’s really not a whole lot to explain really. I felt like Trix could be a good fit with the crew and it seemed like a natural way to put my ideals into practice.” Alex leaned forward as he spoke. “I’m not trying to force her into anything, she’s free to refuse and we won’t hold it against her. It’s not a big deal.”
Kyshe closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m having a difficult time believing it’s so simple. You said your people wouldn’t use ours as labor. Yet now you attempt to lure one of our young adults into your employment?”
“Now hold on. We’re not trying to use her for labor! The job that I offered to her was Pilot, not janitor or anything.” he protested.
Kyshe opened her eyes and banged a fist on the table. “You expect me to believe that?” Her hand swept out around in a big arc. “She’s a farmer! Nearly everyone in this valley is! She’s used to hard work day in and day out. Not flying starships. You seriously expect me to believe you don’t just want to dump all the difficult tasks on her?”
“Okay. Point taken, I can see why you’re concerned about that. And, to be fair, she WILL be doing more than just piloting. We all do.” Alex held up a hand. “The crew has seven members total. On a starship. Even with all the automation we have, that’s still running fairly bare bones. We all of us, myself included, have to do dozens of things every single day to keep things running smoothly. Equipment checks. Replacing worn out components. Making meals for everyone. But even though she WILL be expected to help out, there’s nothing at all we’ll be asking her to do that we won’t also be doing. That’s just the nature of being on a small ship.”
Kyshe continued to tap her wingtip on the floor. “It is perhaps the fact that you’re trying to hire an untrained farmhand that most concerns me. It seems as though it would be much, much easier to simply look for someone already trained as a pilot. The M’rit for example often ferry resources up to orbit. I’m sure that one of their pilots would be a much better fit.”
“Eh, that’s a bit doubtful. They may have experience with your ships and systems but from what I’ve seen, ours are going to be pretty alien to them as well. They’ll likely require just as much training. Hell, if anything Trix might have an easier time because she won’t have to un-learn what she already knows. Plus we’ve already built up a rapport with Trix. That’s important when you’re spending weeks and months together. That’s a big reason why I offered the job to her in particular.”
Kyshe grunted noncommittally, and Alex stood up. “It was a gesture made in good faith, Matriarch. When I spoke of our two peoples standing beside one another this is pretty much what I had in mind. Humans and Sovalin working together. On a ship, on a planet, on a station, whatever. But working together as a team is the important part.”
Kyshe looked unconvinced so Alex continued. “Matriarch, if the offer is going to cause difficulties then I’ll retract it. I hadn’t thought it’d upset you this much, and I’m not willing to lose what little faith you have in me over this.”
“I’m very, very tempted to tell you to do exactly that.” Kyshe muttered. “I already feel like we’re placing far too much trust in you as it is.”
“Yeah, I understand. And I’ll leave it up to you. I really do want to have her join us up on the ship, but earning your trust is more important. That said, I think maybe you should talk to her directly? She’s been around us the longest out of any of your people, after all.”
Kyshe hesitated at that, wondering whether or not the girl had somehow been influenced by the Humans. Ultimately, she nodded. “That’s reasonable.” She sat there in thought for a few minutes, then stood up and walked over to the other side of the desk. “I won’t make any choices until I speak with the girl. But I do question the necessity of this. Do you truly need to take her with you?”
“No, we don’t. It’s not at all necessary.” Alex admitted. “We can still continue on with our original mission without another crew member. But just because it isn’t necessary doesn’t mean it isn’t a good idea. Matriarch, every single thing I know about Humans and everything I’ve seen here on the planet tells me one thing - sooner or later our societies WILL become friends or allies. The big question is gonna be ‘when’ because I am sure it’ll happen. I for one want that to be ‘sooner’. I think it’ll be better for your people if we can cooperate quicker. I think my people have been alone in the void too long and need new friends to help us grow as a people. And your people have been betrayed by ‘friends’ and could use someone to help you regain the independence that was stolen from you. We have plenty of reasons to come together.”
Kyshe grimaced as she leaned back against the desk. “I wish I could share in that sort of optimism. I admit I would prefer if everything went as well as you say it will. I simply doubt things will go as smoothly and as easily as you claim.”
“Probably not, if I’m being honest.” Alex stood up as well and gestured out the window. “I know I often talk big, but that’s because I like to dream big. I know that I’m moving quickly but that’s just how I do things. Sometimes it gets me in trouble and sometimes everything works out well but either way I live without regrets.”
Kyshe pressed a button on the desk she leaned against, and an aide came in. “Please call Trksehn into the office. I’d like to discuss this with her.” As the aide left, Kyshe nodded towards the Captain. “Just know, Captain, that I will hold you responsible if something does occur.”
—--
Trksehn walked into the office, and upon sighting the Matriarch immediately took a knee, placing a closed fist in front of her respectfully. “Matriarch, you have summoned me.”
Kyshe motioned to the aide who tugged on the girl’s arm. “The Matriarch doesn’t enjoy the more formal expressions of respect.” they whispered into her ear.
“Thank you for coming promptly. We wish to speak with you about the offer you’ve received.” Trix glanced over and noticed that Captain Alex was present in the room. She raised a hand to him in greeting.
“So, uh, if you two are going to be talking, maybe I should go?” He offered, taking a step towards the door.
“No. Stay. There may be questions we have for you.” The Matriarch commanded, and he froze, before stepping back to the chair he’d vacated shortly before. “Have a seat.” Kyshe told Trix as she gestured to the empty chair next to the Captain.
“The reason I called you here is because I have a number of concerns with the Captain’s proposal to you.” Kyshe began, as she moved back to her chair on the opposite side of the desk from the others. “I know you have not had much time to consider it, and I do apologize for that. My primary concern in this matter is with your well being.”
“Uh, in what way Matriarch?” Trix shifted uncomfortably in the chair. The Matriarch was clearly quite unhappy and being in the presence of an unhappy leader was incredibly intimidating.
“We know so little about the Humans. We still have little more than the Captain’s reassurances that they are as they say - here to befriend us, to offer help. He speaks passionately about wishing to walk beside us as friends and allies. As you have been around the Humans the longest, I wish to hear your thoughts on the matter.”
“Yeah, he’s said the same to me.” Trix glanced over to the captain and back. “And to the others in the Hab. The rest of the crew makes jokes about it.”
“Do you believe that he means what he says?”
“Well, the crew thinks he means it. Or more like…” She hesitated a moment, not sure how he’d take this. “Well, to be honest from what I hear they all think he’s being overly optimistic. And they, uh, often claim he has other motives.”
Kyshe's eyes narrowed at that. “And have they specified what those ‘other motives’ are?”
Trix glanced over at the Captain, who was not looking particularly comfortable with the way the conversation was going. “Yeah, most of the crew thinks he’s attracted to our people.”
“Now hold on. HOLD ON. That is absolutely DEFINITELY not why I offered you a job!” he immediately protested.
Kyshe was a bit stunned by the girl’s statement and the captain’s outburst, and she found herself trying very hard not to smile at his discomfort. “Well, Captain? Are you attracted to us?”
“Matriarch, that has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on the topic at hand!”
“His face is red. According to Ji, that’s a sign of embarrassment.” Trksehn helpfully pointed out. Indeed, he was blushing rather hard at the way the topic had shifted.
“Indeed?” Kyshe could not suppress her smile now. “Captain, you never mentioned attraction to us in any of our previous conversations.”
“That’s because it’s irrelevant! Whether or not I find you all appealing has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with whether or not our species can earn your trust!” He shot to his feet as he said this. “I most certainly am not inviting Trix to join up just based on her attractiveness!”
“But you do find her attractive?” Kyshe pressed him on this, clearly enjoying his frustration and embarrassment.
“That’s not relevant. It has nothing at all to do with anything!" Kyshe and Trix sat there waiting for an actual answer, and he sighed and sat back down heavily in his seat. "Okay, yes. She’s gorgeous. So are you. And Sophie back on the station. But!” He made a cutting motion with his hands. “None of that makes any difference at all. It doesn't earn me your trust and it doesn't help you all out in any way. I didn't mention it because it's absolutely inconsequential.”
“No, but perhaps it does explain why you’re going to such great lengths to try to befriend us.” Kyshe’s face turned thoughtful as she said it. “Do you think that by aiding us in trying to escape the Bunters’ influence that you’ll be able to find a partner among our kind?”
“NO! I'm trying to aid you because I don't want an incredible species with immense potential to be trapped in sevitude!”
“Hmm.” Kyshe glanced over at the captain as if she’d not heard a single one of his protests. “I am sure that there are many who might be interested in your people, but whether or not you could be accepted would be quite another thing entirely…”
“The crew just like to joke and make fun. It’s not serious!”
“Well, that’s at least partially true, Matriarch.” Trix was enjoying watching him squirm, but he was becoming more frantic as Kyshe pressed him on it. “They enjoy jokes at his expense.”
“See? It’s just my crew giving me a difficult time!”
Kyshe nodded, but continued on anyway. “Whether they’re joking or not, at least now I believe I understand your motivations better. I won’t say I share in them,” She glanced the human up and down, “But then at least you are not as repulsive as the Cetari or the Fwenth. I am certain that if we were to put out the offer, there may be a number of females who would wish to court you…”
Alex buried his head in his hands. This conversation had gone completely off the rails and he desperately tried to find a way to steer it back to safer ground. “Please, no. I swear to you on my ship, that my purpose in helping you all is NOT due to my attraction to your species! I’m NOT trying to find a partner!“
“Very well.” She dropped the topic for now, but mentally made a note of how easy it was to rile up the captain on this subject. His response made him particularly fun to tease. “Trksehn, back to the relevant point. The Captain’s offer to hire you for his ship. I’ve spoken with him about it. May I hear your thoughts on the matter?”
Trix sat in silence briefly before she answered. “It’s kind of surreal. When they landed and I spoke about flying my aircar I was just trying to make conversation. And now they’re talking about me flying out in space. I wanted to race the Firelands Challenge just for fun and because I thought it might make me stand out to the men of the valley, but this?” She waved a hand as she spoke. “The attention I’m getting from everyone is way outside anything I ever expected!”
“I would say that you are indeed standing out. From my understanding on the subject, you’ve become a celebrity overnight.” Kyshe stood up and walked over beside the younger woman. “I am not particularly a fan of the challenges, but I am not ignorant of their influence. I have had reports given to me of the fans you’ve acquired. And of the fact that not everyone is particularly pleased with your success.”
Trix was surprised by this. “Wait, really? You know about all of that?”
“Of course. I take care to know the goings on here in the valley, and you’ve made a name for yourself. It’s always important for a Matriarch to know of all the major goings on of her people, and I was apprised of your success within an hour of the challenge.”
“Thank you, Matriarch.” Knowing she had achieved global fame from her race was still mostly just a thought. But actually hearing it from her Matriarch made it all the more real. “It’s been, uh. Kind of weird?”
“I can imagine. Fame thrust upon someone who is unfamiliar with it can be quite overwhelming. In truth, I should have reached out to you sooner to offer my aid should the need arise. The Noarala may be a small Teff but all those who live under the Presh are my responsibility, and any assistance you need is available if you ask.”
Trix nodded, then turned to face the Captain. “Thank you again, Matriarch. For the Captain’s offer, though, I think it’s an offer in good faith. I spoke with Min about it and what he said to me is true. The others fly the ship but that often isn’t their primary duty. They all share in the work and responsibilities on the ship, and Min thinks I would fit in well. I don’t know the others as well as Ji and Min but they have offered their support.”
Kyshe ignored the captain for now and focused her attention entirely on the young avian. “It is a major decision. You would be apart from us, from our protection. If they would mistreat you, offer offense or harm…”
Trix actually laughed at that. “I don’t think they’d do that. Not deliberately. I’ve spent enough time around them that I don’t worry about that at all.”
Kyshe visibly relaxed at the younger woman’s confidence. “But then you would also be away from the rest of the society. Away from males, for some time.”
Trix nodded at that. “Yeah, that part worries me too.”
“Wait up. Worried why?” Alex’s face had regained its normal color and he looked back and forth between the Matriarch and Trix. “Are you dating… errr, I guess exploring? Or what’s that about?”
“Extended time away from males can be distressing.” Kyshe explained. “Not necessarily exploring or becoming accepted is required. Simply being around other males can be calming.”
“Okay, that’s actually news to me.” Alex had to sit and think about that. “Could you be a bit more specific? What you mean by ‘distress’, and how long until it becomes a problem, things like that?”
“It can vary, but usually after a few weeks signs and symptoms begin to appear. Frustration, more hostile and aggressive behavior is the most common issue encountered.” Kyshe answered, and pressed the aide call button on her desk. As the smaller male walked in at her call, she immediately instructed him. “Go gather information on Rhenima for the humans.”
Meanwhile Alex had tapped the page button on his breath mask. “Hey, Josh. I’m hearing about something you never mentioned, wondering if it’s a concern. Something about emotional distress for Sovalin who are away from males too long. Ring any bells?”
“Not off the top of my head, no. I’ll have to go over the data dumps for info there.” Josh’s voice was clear over the comms.
“Get together with Par. Look up something like ‘Renimah’. The Matriarch’s also getting us info it sounds like, so if you come up short I’ll try to get the details to you as well.”
“We shall begin looking into it immediately, Captain.” Par responded immediately, and Alex closed the channel. “Sorry. I just asked our medic about it and he wasn’t familiar, but we’re going to start looking into that. Our plans right now are to spend about four weeks out doing the mineral survey, and with travel times that’s pushing it.”
“I had thought it might. Still, while it is tremendously unpleasant, it is not life threatening. The trip could still proceed despite the circumstances, but it would virtually cripple any productivity until it can be remedied.” Kyshe glanced between the Trix and Alex. “Trksehn, we are still a number of days out from the planned departure date. Do you require more time to consider?”
“Well…” Trix shrugged slightly. “The past few weeks I feel like the Humans have been better company than my friends. I’ve had a lot of fun with them modding my aircar. We don’t have much in common but we still always find plenty of things to talk about. I don’t know if it’s because of what happened in the race but I almost kinda want to just go to get away from everything back here.”
“An understandable feeling. Though, perhaps, a bit extreme - usually when on the run from unwanted fame it is normal to retreat to a remote location in the plains or perhaps spend some time in the temples. Not to escape the planet itself.” Kyshe smiled and patted the young woman on the shoulder. “I’ve no desire to restrain you against your will, I simply wish to ensure you’ll be safe.”
“She’ll be as safe as the rest of us, that I can promise.” Alex cut in suddenly. “We’ll be adjusting her duty roster so she won’t have to do any EVA, and we won’t be getting into any fights this far away from Human space. Piracy isn’t a thing out here and if the Tanjeeri show up, we plan to hightail it. Errr, I mean run away rather than stay and fight.”
Trix looked slightly apprehensive at that. “Do Tanjeeri just… I mean, do you expect to see them out there?”
Alex shook his head. “The first time we encountered them they were chasing a ship they’d damaged. That’s been more than five weeks ago. There’s a chance they’d still be in the system, so we do plan to gate out a fair ways from the system proper. We scout from way outside, if the Tanjeeri are there we abort and look for an alternative. If they’re gone, we carefully complete our survey and grab the most valuable minerals we can before we come back here. Either way, no fighting.”
Trix sat in silence as she weighed that up, and spoke confidently to Kyshe. “Matriarch, I would like to take them up on their offer. If I refuse, I will always wonder what I would have missed.” She lifted her wings confidently.
Kyshe shot a glare over at Alex, then nodded. “Very well. Captain, I expect to be seeing you back here in six weeks. Not one feather missing or injured, do you hear me?”
“Clear as a bell, Matriarch.” Alex lifted his hand in a very human-style salute and nudged Trix. “C’mon, let’s go before she changes her mind.”
—--
“Not even one day later and I’m already regretting this decision.” Trix slumped forward over the table, and dropped the stylus from her hand.
Amanda reached over and grabbed the implement as it rolled across the tabletop before it had a chance to fall to the ground. “Stop overreacting. It’s not THAT bad.”
“It absolutely is that bad!” Trix complained as she tapped the board. “Half the questions and fields on here don’t make sense!”
“I told you, just skip the ones you don’t understand and we’ll come back to them afterwards.”
“I did that!” Trix shoved the board over to Amanda. “And I got to the end and it said I missed fourty-seven fields and it wants me to go back and re-enter them.”
Amanda picked up the board and skimmed it. “Wait. I think you broke the form. Did you really try to put in over sixty names for your immediate family?”
“I don’t know. Maybe? It asked who I was related to and so I started writing in the Teff.”
“The form is for close personal relations. Like, your mother and father, your brothers and sisters…” Amanda went down the list. “Nothing here for schooling, no dependants, we’ll have to go over the indemnity clauses later. Independent Contractorship involves a slew of confidentiality and non disclosures, so we’re going to have to waive sections C and D but there will be forms 8114-A and 8114-B to fill out instead. Oh, we should absolutely also begin discussing whether or not you’re going to be pa-HEY!”
Alex had picked up the quickboard, and threw it over his shoulder onto the grass. He slid his own over to Trix. “Yeah, welcome to Proxima. Always in direct competition with Sol as to who can produce the most ridiculously boring paperwork in the galaxy. Here. Sign your name on the line on the bottom. Press your thumb print next to it. You’re not working for Terrafault, you’re working for ME.”
Trix groaned and reached over to take the stylus from Amanda, scribbling her signature down. “You couldn’t have told me that an hour ago before I sat down to start all this?”
“Nope. I had to do some on-the-record statements with Kyshe about your employment, and Par had to record ‘em. Lots of boring legalese like this crap. Anyway, welcome to your new job. Here’s your first two weeks of payment.” Alex fished a large bar of metal out of his pocket and dropped it down on the table.
“Eh? Payment? What’s this?”
“One solid kilogram of Silver. 99.9% pure. To be honest, not that expensive to us. But for reasons we have no idea about, Silver’s hard to find on your planet. So in local currency… probably around 32 or 33 hundred moyu.” Alex sat down and thumbed the off button on the signed quickboard. “Standard pay for a fully licensed pilot is around 3000 credits per week, at least in the private sector. But our credits are worthless here, but a rough conversion tells us that a kilo of silver is roughly the same. Since you’re going to be a trainee for this trip, we felt like half pay was a good compromise. First two weeks up front, and you’ll get one more of these bars every two weeks. So two more until we’re back here on Kiveyt to decide how we want to…You okay there?”
Trix’s jaw had dropped as she started at the small heavy wafer. Her AIRCAR had cost 2500 moyu and that was two YEARS of saving up for it working overtime on the farms. Now she was paid more than that, every two WEEKS. She tentatively reached out and lifted it up. It felt heavier than she thought it would.
Amanda walked back from picking up the quickboard where Alex had thrown it, and lightly smacked him on the back of the head with it. “Fine then. If she’s not on the Terrafault payroll though that means her cut is coming out of yours.”
Alex snorted at that. “Manda, you think that’s gonna matter? After the bonuses we get from this op it won’t matter. I’m already planning on doubling everyone’s cut as it is, and we’ll still have enough to buy a damn fleet carrier afterwards if we want to. But if you really, REALLY want to try to adapt and adjust that paperwork for Sovalin then knock yourself out.”
Amanda sat down opposite of Alex and Trix, and set the board down in front of her. “You realize that the reason I’m so adamant about all the paperwork being completed is to protect everyone from liability? To make sure that there’s no confusion about her employment? To try, god forbid, to avoid any complications or problems that being vague will cause?”
“Sure. And I’m telling you right now, there’s no need. I take full responsibility.” Alex responded to her diatribe with a big grin. “C’mon, Manda. After all the shit we’ve been through convincing the Matriarch to, y’know, not arrest or murder us and then even more to let her allow Trix to go up there in the first place. After all that you think there’s any actual confusion left?”
Trix glanced up at the two bickering humans. “You said I get one of these every two weeks. But if I complete training I get double that?” She balanced the bar on her palm and stared down at it.
“Yep. Once we get some decent asteroid mining ops going the price of silver’s gonna plummet. Best to spend it before that happens. But by then we’ll have good trade avenues with Terrans open, so we’ll just pay you in credits that you can spend normally at that point.” Alex put his elbow on the table, propping his head up with his hand. “As for the training, it’s fairly easy. There’s a licensing exam that’s just proving that you know how to fly to a bunch of boring pencil pushers. Completing that will be a cakewalk if we can get some practical experience under your belt.”
“Oh. But I don’t know if I’m going to do well as your pilot yet. I know absolutely nothing about flying a space ship.” Trix carefully placed the silver back on the table. Alex picked it back up and put it in her hand.
“Doesn’t matter. You’re flying with me, you’re learning, you’re getting paid. If you do well then that’s perfect and we can talk licensing. If you don’t do well, no harm done. Maybe we find another role for you or maybe you come back home. Either way you walk away with silver in your pocket and a fun story to tell everyone and impress the guys.” He smiled and gestured to her room. “You should probably start deciding what you want to take with you. Kyshe is sending along several months worth of food to bolster our supplies and to make sure your nutritional needs are fully met, so I’m heading over with Josh to start loading it all up on the Shuttle. We’ve committed to a departure date four days from now.”
“I’ve never really packed for something like this. What do I bring?”
Alex didn’t answer verbally, but instead made a short, sharp whistle with his lips followed by a shout. “MIN!”
The engineer was on the other side of the courtyard, and immediately jogged over when called. “Yeah?”
“Go with Trix and help her pack up for the trip. Six weeks worth of clothes, hygiene supplies, whatever.” Alex glanced over at Trix. “Sorry, actually I just assumed you’d be more comfortable with another woman helping you pack. I can call Ji over if you prefer.”
“No, no. I’d rather Min help me.” Trix stood up from the table and jerked her head over towards her room. “Thanks, Min. Sorry to be a bother.”
“No problem. Gets me out of lifting the heavy shit to put in the shuttle.”
—--
Next Chapter

Appreciate all the help on this. I know I have a foundation issue still but anyone found any quick fix or hailmarys?
297 (149V,148Q) march 2023 293 (149V, 144Q) March 2024 297 (148V, 149Q) May 17 2024
I need to submit an application asap. So if I retake in 3 weeks, what can I do to improve to a 301? I did prep swift from March to April (did not take much notes) but did a lot of verbal and vocab and somehow went down. I have most likely 2.5 weeks. How can I change my game plan. I don’t think I have time to redo gregmat formal plans. Any tips? Just quant books? But for verbal also? I tried a lot harder. Kinda defeated now.
I know I zone out a lot during the exam. Math I was guessing and not sure I how I keep getting close to a 150.

Several months ago my direct superior had a very alarming 1:1 verbal conversation with me saying that they would be “stalking, micromanaging, and exerting extreme oversight” over me. There was no explanation as to why or what prompted this. The following day she told my colleague the same thing and confirmed that she used the word “stalking” with me, but “misspoke and meant to say extreme oversight and micromanaging.” I went to HR to advise and they suggested I speak with my bosses boss, Josh. Josh then spoke with my superior, who denied everything that he said. I then had a performance review with my superior and Josh, and was given a lot of great feedback, and was told a few areas that needed improvement. I followed up with Josh about some of the feedback and realized that me speaking up about my superiors language was being held against me.
I decided to file a formal complaint against my superior so that I could protect myself in case they decided to escalate or retaliate on their end. I met with the head of HR and made a verbal request. She asked me to send the request in an email, and said that she would need to interview some people, but didn’t request anything else at that time. HR & Josh met with my colleague, and she confirmed everything that our superior had said.
Fast forward 5 weeks and I get a request to meet with the head of HR and Josh. I am told that I’m receiving a performance warning for a lengthy list of issues that I have had in my three years of working at the company. Much of the items contradict previous performance reviews that Josh had written. Additionally, they used the words of a previous superior to justify their decision. This particular superior was forced out of the company after I brought to their attention that this person had lied about their professional and academic background, and was funneling money from the company into their personal business. There is a lengthy list of problems with this persons short lived tenure.
The day after being told verbally of the performance warning, I received it in writing. There was a laundry list of items outlining how my performance and conduct is unacceptable and if I do anything else wrong they can fire me.
After my performance review a couple of months ago, I have followed their requests to a T. The only thing that happened in between was me requesting to file a formal complaint. Other than that, my superior continued to be hostile, some of which is in writing, which I have maintained documentation of.
I have received no previous performance warnings, nor was it indicated in my performance review that my performance was anywhere close to requiring disciplinary action.
This PW did not include any actionable items, goals or objectives. There was no probationary period mentioned, or timeframe in which they expect to see improvement.
I have not been fired yet, but this feels very much like a set up for termination.
I’m in California, an at will state… but if I am fired, could this be considered retaliation? Do I have any protections?
Tl;dr - my superior was hostile so I reported to HR. I decide to file a formal complaint and a month later I receive a performance warning with no objectives or timeframe. The PW concluded with a threat of termination. If I am fired could this be considered retaliation?

Hi everyone, My partner was verbally offered a full-time position about a month ago after interviewing with Goldman Sachs for almost four months. He went through 12 rounds of interviews, including 2 super days, and was selected from among 400 candidates. During the verbal offer, they informed him that the role was not open internally and that they needed to start the formal processes within the company before extending a written offer. He has been waiting to hear from them since then and has completed the HCM call and questionnaire.
Two days ago, they called him and said they couldn't open the role internally and therefore would not be moving forward with his employment. He has been in the process since January and is now extremely disappointed. As a new graduate with an F1 status, his future in the U.S. is compromised because he missed the hiring season and has very little time left to find a new job and apply for the OPT STEM extension.
Has anyone experienced a similar situation with Goldman Sachs, and how did it turn out in the end? I'm wondering if there is any chance they might contact him again for re-employment.
Thank you for any insights.

Hi everyone, My partner was verbally offered a full-time position about a month ago after interviewing with Goldman Sachs for almost four months. He went through 12 rounds of interviews, including 2 super days, and was selected from among 400 candidates. During the verbal offer, they informed him that the role was not open internally and that they needed to start the formal processes within the company before extending a written offer. He has been waiting to hear from them since then and has completed the HCM call and questionnaire. Two days ago, they called him and said they couldn't open the role internally and therefore would not be moving forward with his employment. He has been in the process since January and is now extremely disappointed. As a new graduate with an F1 status, his future in the U.S. is compromised because he missed the hiring season and has very little time left to find a new job and apply for the OPT STEM extension.
Has anyone experienced a similar situation with Goldman Sachs, and how did it turn out in the end? I'm wondering if there is any chance they might contact him again for re-employment.

I have tried to post this in the most relevant subs. I want to get the beginning of my abusive relationship out there in hopes that it will help women to avoid the psychological torture I endured for over two decades.
My apologies in advance if this is long. I was in an abusive relationship/marriage for 23 years. This incident happened when we were still friends. If I had I only known the truth when this had originally happened, I would have been saved from decades of emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, and physical abuse. (And currently post-separation abuse).
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. He said she had beautiful red hair, D breasts, liked the same books, movies and music as him. (Yes, he bragged about these things, as disgusting and corny as it sounds now). I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. I really assumed she was jealous and let her know there was nothing to worry about. We were friends and he had a much longer history with her. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
Not long after that B (my ex-bf) had come back from bootcamp. I spent a good deal of time with him while he was on home for leave for two weeks before he shipped out overseas. We decided in that time that we would no longer be FWB because I was starting to have feelings for Bub. Me and Bub started dating right after that. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
Sidenote: I didn't include all the abusive behaviors in this post, as it would be a novel if I did. I'm simply recalling the events around the catalyst to my descent into hell.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. I had gotten my first of what would end up being 3 TROs against him. I dismissed the first two. (The second was a dual, as he set up a situation that created the need for me to defend myself. He claimed I wasn't defending myself. That's a story for another day). After the first two, I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
23 years. Two kids. One alive and one deceased. 23 years of complete and utter psychological annihilation with this man.
If only I had known.
If you have come this far, thank you so much for reading. I left him for good October of last year, and I have never felt more free.

I posted this in two other subs before I found this one. I feel this is the most appropriate sub to post this in and may help others to see how insidious and damaging narcs can be. Heads up, it's a long read. Here goes...
I suffered through narcisstic abuse by my partner for 23 years. This incident happened when we were still friends. If I had I only known the truth when this had originally happened, I would have been saved from decades of emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, and physical abuse. (And currently post-separation abuse).
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. He said she had beautiful red hair, D breasts, liked the same books, movies and music as him. (Yes, he bragged about these things, as disgusting and corny as it sounds now). I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. I really assumed she was jealous and let her know there was nothing to worry about. We were friends and he had a much longer history with her. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
Not long after that B (my ex-bf) had come back from bootcamp. I spent a good deal of time with him while he was on home for leave for two weeks before he shipped out overseas. We decided in that time that we would no longer be FWB because I was starting to have feelings for Bub. Me and Bub started dating right after that. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
Sidenote: I didn't include all the abusive behaviors in this post, as it would be a novel if I did. I'm simply recalling the events around the catalyst to my descent into hell.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. I had gotten my first of what would end up being 3 TROs against him. I dismissed the first two. (The second was a dual, as he set up a situation that created the need for me to defend myself. He claimed I wasn't defending myself. That's a story for another day). After the first two, I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
23 years. Two kids. One alive and one deceased. 23 years of complete and utter psychological annihilation with this man.
If only I had known.
If you have come this far, thank you so much for reading. I left him for good October of last year, and I have never felt more free.

This is an excerpt from a resignation email of a staff who used to work at CPL:
Hello everyone,I hope you can read this before it is inevitably deleted. I have also made an All Teams post.In brief: this organization has become dominated by fear and secrecy rather than trust and transparency, to the point where it is paranoid about workers like you knowing their rights. Public information is kept secret, and people are afraid to speak out, even when they feel unsafe. A list of some of your rights is in point form below.My name is Jonathan Tieu. I have worked in a customer service role at Central for two years. I think of myself as a reasonable and forgiving person, and was once very proud to work for CPL. Things have led me here. It is time to stand up for what is right, and call out what is wrong.Apparently, sharing information, about your rights as an employee, and specifically when it comes to your safety, is frowned upon. Strange for a institution committed to intellectual freedom, right?Dealing with the public is fraught with hazards and unpredictability, as anyone who spends any appreciable time on the floor knows. Gender-, race-, and linguistic-based abuse add another dimension that I know coworkers have to put up with. I leave these experiences for others to share, if they choose. To me, it is absurd that hazards and problems were allowed to creep up, not acknowledged, and not dealt with. Simply put, fear has meant that issues are not dealt with properly.
In my story, the final straw was that my effort to let coworkers know their workplace rights was not supported by leadership.The Central Library will frequently host weekend live events, like concerts, on the main floor. There is also a playground in the children's section. On weekends, the noise level around these becomes extremely high. Staff have told me about their bodies tensing as they enter these areas to shelve or to help customers, or their ears ringing at the end of the day. This is a hazard that can easily be identified, and addressed. Yet it was not. To anyone who tried to bring up the issue of noise and safety with a manager and was dismissed with "There is no problem! The louder it is, the better it is!", know that your efforts have not been in vain. No one needs to suffer hearing damage from working at a library. Last Wednesday night, May 8th, 2024, I was a "zone coordinator" (like a branch shift supervisor, but for two floors at Central), and I wrote a message in Microsoft Teams asserting that I would stop work if the noise levels from a live event had potential to cause harm--occupational noise exposure limits are defined in the provincial OHS code--and reaffirmed that as a worker in Alberta, you have the right to refuse unsafe work, without fear of reprisal, written in legislation.
The reaction among my coworkers was very telling. Some told me I should have deleted the message, others that I would get in trouble, others that it was very brave, others that they were grateful for what I did. I do not consider what I did exceptional--all I did was share some information and remind people of their rights. But to even say that a problem with our workplace existed was radical, apparently.
Predictably, I was invited to a meeting with a supervisor. I was asked if there was "a better way to get my message across without telling everyone in the group", and that it felt "alarming". To me, if the act of being told your rights is alarming, something is very wrong. It speaks of a culture dominated by fear rather than trust: if you do not trust your employees to use their judgment and exercise their rights properly, you will fear them knowing what their rights are. This kind of culture is completely unbefitting of an organization that serves the public, dedicated to freedom of ideas. Information wants to be free, and if the library is as committed to intellectual freedom as much as it claims, remember that you have the right to learn and share ideas freely, even if some think that those ideas are alarming.Here are a few things you should know, because you deserve no less than the truth. This is public information, freely available online, for anyone:

• You have the right to refuse unsafe work under Section 17 of the OHS Act. Section 18 prohibits any disciplinary action for a refusal.
• Occupational noise exposure limits are defined in Schedule 3 of the OHS Code.
• You can report wrongdoing confidentially, using the clearviewconnects.com website (a 3rd party contracted to deal with disclosures) or by calling 1-855-925-1917, as stated in Library Policy 2.06.01 on whistleblowing. You can also ask questions anonymously or confidentially. (This was new to me after two years, too!)
• If you are being disciplined, even verbally, you have the right to a union representative present.
• As a publicly-funded "local government body", the library is subject to the Freedom of Information and Privacy (FOIP) Act.
• Under the FOIP Act, anyone may request records, formal or informal (including Teams messages like the supervisor-only chat, emails, personnel records), about themselves. Former and current employees, and library members can make requests. There is always a charge for these requests, and you can bet I will be making one. See here: https://open.alberta.ca/publications/foip-frequently-asked-questions-for-public-libraries
• Ultimately, the Board of the Library is responsible for how things operate. Anyone can speak at a board meeting (by emailing [board@calgarylibrary.ca](mailto:board@calgarylibrary.ca) 5 days before the meeting) or make a written submission, and the next meeting is May 29. I hope to see some of you there; you must register one day in advance by email.

To my coworkers: I hope things improve and soon. I see how burnt out everyone is, and I see the daily struggles on your faces. I think about the coworker who told me she prayed every day that she would make it home safely, but was afraid of not getting her term extended. I hope you are feeling better these days. Thank you everyone for being there to teach, mentor, and share. I have learned so much from you. To facilities, drivers, and support staff: It has been a honor to work alongside such a dedicated, fun, and hardworking team. You are the ones that make the library happen, literally. It broke my heart each time I heard your concerns were not taken seriously.To the librarians, a simple exercise: first, imagine you are a member of the public. Try to find FOIP request information on the public CPL website, and then try to find how to contact a branch manager. Now, try the website of, say, Edmonton's library. You can draw your own conclusions.To management: Ask yourself how you let fear overpower trust. Speaking the truth should not be considered a brave or radical act--it should be daily business. I hold that this organization shows all the signs of dysfunction (see this checklist as an example).
I believed in the mission of public libraries. I enjoyed my work for a time, and it saddens me to leave on these terms. I hope that one day you all can be proud once more to say you work for the library.That's all, folks. This is your story now.
And this is a solution from one of the managers at CPL:
Hi everyone,
As you may already be aware, an email was sent out to all staff this morning expressing concerns about noise levels at the Central Library. I would like to let you all know that action to follow up on this concern was initiated last week and will continue to occur. We will share further updates on potential solutions or mitigation strategies as we have them. I would like to invite everyone that has questions, concerns, or perspectives to share to come speak with me. You can pop by my office or schedule a time. I will be in training tomorrow all day, but can make time if you send me a teams message or email.
an Update:
I would like to provide an update around noise mitigation. Staff are allowed to wear ear plugs on the floor when they are required to work in an area with noise with the expectation that you are aware of your surroundings and responsive to patrons. You may not wear earphones/earbuds. There will shortly be a stash of earplugs available for staff on the island in Level 2 BOH. Facilities and Helen are currently sourcing decibel meters to work on a noise assessment - details TBD.

I would also like to remind and invite people to speak directly to me or a supervisor when you have concerns or questions so we can follow up and address them in a timely manner.

I was offered a job on the spot. I would always read these post about job offers and would wonder my goodness, will I ever be able to write one? I have been out of work for 8 months….It’s a management position making 10K less than I was at my prior role, but I don’t care! I’m going to be working again. We were on the verge of losing our home, late on the car payment and just heading down hill fast. It seems it always happens this way: I was not excited about this interview because I was just so tired of being turned down everywhere. I spend forever on my hair, make it really straight this may sound trivial, but it’s what I do. I didn’t straighten my hair, I left it naturally curly and I just went in and gave it my best shot. (I was dressed professionally)… I was shocked when they came back about 10 minutes and said we want to formally offer you the job -verbally. Just received my offer letter. I’m wishing all of you that are still looking the very best, I know your tears, pain & worry; it’s awful I know, but the clouds will run out of rain.🙏🏽

Backstory: As of right now I am "at risk" of redundancy at my current company, and the redundancy consultation process ends on 31/05/2024. Today I have had a verbal job offer from a potential company, and a message from the recruiter to say I've got the job. Said company will be issuing a written offer on Monday/Tuesday. It's worth noting I've been classed as "provisionally safe" at my company this week, but I am still at risk as this is obviously subject to any change.
Advice: I know not to do anything until the written offer comes in, but would it be more sensible for me to take voluntary redundancy than to just formally hand in my notice? I've been told taking VR would mean my last working day will be 31/05/2024, and then at the end of June I'd get my notice (4 weeks), plus my statutory redundancy payout, plus holiday, shares etc along with my P45.

• Are there any drawbacks to taking voluntary redundancy when you have a job lined up?
• I assume I can't work at my new company until my notice period has ended? (or I assume if I did it would class as a second job and I'd get hit hard by the tax man)

Any and all advice would be amazing. Thank you!