Dirty dares text

In kindergarten (sorry I'm from singapore so we follow British but if im not wrong its like 5-6 years old) I already accepted Christ into my life. But my mom is a "I hate Christians!!" kind of person so I didnt dare to tell her anything. I didn't really have a good relationship with my mom cos to her studies are everything and she made me (until now) think that I'm never good enough. And I was only in primary school thinking my mom doesn't like me. I'm worthless, I want to kms. I made plans to grab the knife from the kitchen, jump off and things like that. Eventually I resulted to scratching my own skin cos I feel most pain when it's right at the nerve uk.
My whole life was until the end of primary school (12) was only to do things to make my mom happy. I wouldn't mention a word about Christianity to her. And when my mom was out at night, me, my dad and my sisters would worship. The moment the door opens, I scramble into the room. This also make me walk far from God and I would curse, swear and stuff. One day in P6, the last year of primary school (12 years old) I thought "Hey, I'm Christian so why am I swearing? Isn't this a sin?" So I stopped cursing. Of course, my mom wouldn't want me going around cursing but I didn't really do it for her, but rather for God. But I still didn't want to tell her about it.
When I graduated from Primary school, in Secondary (Sec) school, I finally got to bring my phone to school (13 years old), but my mom still could track me. Anyways I got to listen to some worship songs my dad sent to me and because I didn't have a music player downloaded and wasn't allowed to download any apps, I would listen through the WhatsApp audio player thing😭😭 on the way home. Usually on Sundays whene my mom isn't home,my dad would bring me to church. Then of course my mom would find out and scold me and this continued until sec 2 (14).
In Sec 3 (15 years old), I had whole control of my phone so I would listen to worship music on the way home. One day in, my dad brought me to church. My mom saw my location and immediately got mad because she knew where my dad's church is and also because my older sister attends service too and my mom was not happy. Since then, I was afraid to go to church. My mom even cornered me one day and made me promise not to go to church or I can forget calling her my mom. I kept crying that night and never dared to go to church (mind that i dont even cry often).
But towards mid year(?) I just decided ok Imma go to church. She can get angry but it won't really stop me. Because I got to know God through worship songs and now I wanted to know him more.
I regularly started praying in the morning on the way to school. Eventually my prayers became a ritual and dry. I felt no emotion and no pull towards God. Only on days when I was really upset/angry then I would feel Him comforting me. One day I really wanted to be the captain in my CCA (it's like after school activities but still part of school programs) and I didn't get it. I was so upset I cried on the way home because I actually put in so much effort into it. Then I became vice captain so ig that counts.
Anyways I became really upset and got frustrated because I didn't prove myself enough. I had so low expectations of myself, got depressed again, but I couldn't vent it out because I couldn't hurt myself anymore after learning my body is a temple of God. So I got super frustrated. I prayed for guidance decided to free up my Saturdays I went to church. Youth services for Secondary school students were on Saturdays and not Sundays so yeah. Towards like October last year I cleared up my Saturdays so I could go more regularly to church, and my mom was defo not happy AT ALL that I went with my own initiative. She ignored me for several weeks and of course I felt lonely and all buy eventually I felt okay because she doesn't even know me sooooo.
I'm still trying to patch up my relationship with her. Honestly, it's so strained I don't know what to do. I've prayed that she would accept Christ everyday but uhh nothing. This doesn't mean I don't believe in God if not this would not exist
One day I was fellowshipping with my dad. Why we did that is because of a long story that would be saved for another day.
But this is the part where it's important
Previously I had dreams and I shared with my dad because he is more experience in deciphering gifts and stuff (I'm sorry if you don't believe in gifts but I do!) And he told me to pray about it because I somehow knew these dreams had meaning and relation to God. A number of dreams had direct inference to God. I did pray about it, and also asked God along these lines; "God, give me guidance. I have strayed and I know. Lord please let me understand, and let me also be close to You. I want to know You, and I know, I haven't read the word. Lord, motivate me to read the scripture, and while reading let me also understand the dreams I have been having my whole life."
I can't remember what I said exactly. The one 9f the church sermons on one week talked about how God is not far, but we are far. And I felt that that was for me. Then one day my dad said to me and my older sister "I don't care you have to download the Bible rn" so I downloaded it but did nothing with it. Finally, one day I was late for work (yes I worked when I was 15 because I actually want an electric guitar) and it was New Year's Eve. My colleague texted me saying she'd pick me up and I said and quote "Isokkk I walk over" (me) ... "Give me your block" (colleague) "Omd tyyy" (me)
Part of me didn't want her to fetch me because it would be troubling her. But I don't know why I waited and was thinking "bruh I could've reached by now but she's late" but I just waited. I was wearing full white that day. And this woman must've thought I was going to church because it was a Sunday morning.
And she asked "Hello, are you going to church?"
I said "oh no no, I have church at night because it's countdown service. (basically the youth services brought our church service from Saturday 4pm to Sunday 8pm because we wanted to countdown service together)"
She said," Oh! So you're Christian! Do you read the Word often?"
I blushed because so many signs and I haven't read a single word. "No," I was so embarrassed
She continued "I used to be a teacher, a lecturer in a University (if im not wrong) There is a website called 7 minutes with God. It was originally created for Harvard students because they were busy and didn't have time to spend time with God." Then I couldn't hear what she said because she was talking so fast. All I knew was she was summarizing the website and encouraged me to read it.
I read it like on January 2nd this year on the way to school ( I'm 16 this year!!! But not 16 yet because as I said, it's not my birthday yet or anytime soon)
I was so inspired that I kept on reading the Word and devoted mornings to not only prayers (that I allowed God to guide me and not just pray for the sake of praying) but also for reading the Word!
See, when I prayed to have motivation to read the Word more, God gave me the sign THREE TIMES which I did not pick up until the 3rd sign, the lady. The first time during the sermon I was like "Yes God, I will do it!" but did nothing. The second time when my dad asked me to download the app version of the Bible, I said "Yes God, this is the sign!" and did not do anything. I got discouraged because my dad thinks I'm funny and wouldn't take my words seriously omd 😭. But the third time, God literally sent a random woman I don't know and told me to read. And I read, praise God!
this is the part where it relates to the meme
Because when I went to the shower I kept laughing because I thought of this meme. I didn't read the word or get touched because it was a coincidence. So coincidence? I think not! It's a miracle ❤️❤️❤️
I finished Mark and the New Testament, I'm currently at John right now.
Just now, after a meeting with my cell group (a small group for easier prayers etc in church), I was listening to worship music, and my grumpy dad was like "GO AND SHOWER" liek chill brou. So I went to the toilet with my headphones on and sat on the floor and just continued listening to worship music. Then my dad sent in the family group chat (just me, my older sister and him, my mom got mad and left) an article about this man called Patrick Lee/Bezalel. He is a local artist faithful in Christ
But reading halfway I kept crying because I was so touched (again I do no lt cry, but I related so much I cried even though nothing had to do with me, but it was like my mother's story where she had a hard of stone towards God) and then my phone went flat 😐 So I risked it and ran out to get my charger but thank God (like actually) my dad didn't scream like he would. Then I sat at the toilet floor and continued reading. Tears kept flowing down my face because Patrick Bezalel's story was such a miracle, and God kept giving him signs that God existed! And removed the layer of stone that surrounded the man's heart and made it soft and open to God again!
After that I continued worshipping God and was listening to worship music (yes in the toilet because I literally have 0 privacy because none of my parents think I need it). I kept crying because the songs were so related. Can you imagine? It went in this order:
1.Presence,Power,Glory 2.Hosanna 3.Promises 4.Holy Forever
Again, coincidence? I THINK NOT. It was so planned, like it was in my playlist for so long and I haven't really thought much about it. Tears kept streaming down and kept going and through sobs I silently prayed to God
"Oh my dear God you have been so so good to me, and so faithful to me Lord. You have guided me, guided my heart and nothing has gone wrong in Your hands Lord. I've been through the turning point I've prayed for. You have sent people, songs and my family members to come after me to open up to You Lord. Lord, I was having a CG (cell group) meeting and something just touched my heart. I am now sitting on the toilet floor and typing this, because Lord you have made a way to touch my heart, guide me through a prayer that came deep down from inside of me Lord, thank You for providing. Thank You God for the miracles You have did in my life, and all that I prayed for has came through Lord. The turning point I prayed for was when that lady had spoken to me about how to set aside time for You and the Word. Lord let me not forget this incident, this turning point, this miracle Lord. Let me put my trust in You Lord, and let You take my hand and let my life be walking next to You faithfully Lord. Lord I pray that I would not waver, and I would not take my eyes away from You. Even when I am crossing and walking toward You on water in the sea, let my eyes be on You, and the works You have done for me, and not be distracted by the worls around me, but to keep my eyes on You diligently Lord. Lord, I am a sinner, and now, I was, for You have sent Jesus Christ, Your Son, to die on the cross for me. Lord, I believe in You and I want to accept You in my life Lord, no matter what situation I am in. Lord, let people around me see Your love, joy, and faithfulness in me, and not let them see the girl I was before. Let them see change, and the love and desire I have for You, Lord. Let them see Your greatness, Your goodness and You. I thank You for everything You have done, and in Jesus's name, I pray that I will walk faithfully alongside You, and will not fail to continuously pray and worship You God. Thank You Lord for the miracles, for this turning point. Thank You God for guiding me, and let me be the branch that bears fruit, and let me be the branch that has life only through Jesus, Who is the vine, Who the reason I live Lord, Who is the reason I have life. Praise the Lord! Amen!"
This is the first time I prayed for so long and every one word was truly from deep down fron the depths of my heart. I couldn't stop crying. I really couldn't and I can't emphasize more that I don't cry often! Either it hurt me so much or that God moved my heart. This time was tears of joy.
I hope this could inspire someone out there, because in another prayer I prayed for those who needed God, even if I didn't know them.
Pray. Pray and ask God to help you seek Him. One thing I learnt from a sermon is the fervency in your prayers. I didn't mean to add this in but I suddenly saw this note I wrote on 25th February.
Title: fervency in prayer Fervency: being excited about something keen on something
At the heart of revival is the spirit of prayer • pray fervently • pray with faith
"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed"
To be fervent in prayer is to pray tenaciously despite our struggles
Hopefully this helped someone out there, inspired you and is one of your signs to start giving your life to Him! It is actually proven 1 in 3 people are Christians. Isn't our goal to have this faith to reach all four corners of the world? It could sound impossible in the past, but now there is social media, anyone could read and realize "Hey God is actually with me!"

Disclaimer: I don't want unsolicited advice or anyone telling me what to do. I want to know if you relate or have been what I've been through.
I'm in 12 step recovery. Specifically AA. And I've been sober for almost 11 years. About a year and a half ago I found myself in what I didn't know at the time was a very emotionally abusive friendship with another alcoholic who had significantly less time than me. Pretend I'm not a bad guy and take my word for it. I felt gaslighted. When I confronted him about things he was doing that were bothering me, he ghosted me deliberately and blocked my number without warning me. I went crazy after the fact that that happened. And then after that we talked about a month later and he basically said he refuses to believe any narrative where I was victimized by him. And he proceeded to tell me I'm crazy and implied I was delusional because I had a different take on things he was doing that I accused him of. And I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. This dude and I were inseparable best buds in a bromance together and then one day he just decided to be extremely cold, and rather than just admit that he was wrong and sorry he hurt me, he really doubled down on the fact that he had "every right" to ghost me. And it got really out of hand. Bc I went missing and left AA bc I was so heartbroken and upset that someone I was so close to could so thoroughly violate my trust. And so everyone's looking for me and showing up at my house and I'm not there. They all think I either relapsed or killed myself. I didn't. And at one point, unbeknownst to me, a mutual friend of ours gets him to call me. He called and didn't leave a voicemail. I eventually start texting everyone letting them know I'm alright. And I call him and he doesn't answer or text me back for 48 hours so I was pissed bc I thought he was playing games. And so I blow up on him and lose control of my anger and I'm like I know where you live, where you go to meetings, play games with me fucker I dare you to. And the last text I ever got from him was extremely callous, basically trying to make me feel like a bad person for blowing off all my friends for a month, and he basically said he called me to tell me that and then he said bc I threatened him, he'd call the police if I ever contacted him again. And I'm just in absolute shock that the dude I was once sleeping at his house, hanging out with him nonstop, someone I took care of when he was sick. Someone I gave rides to meetings. He was like for a minute there my ride or die. And now he's being so fucking cold as to call the police on me. And ok... Normally I would be like valid, I threatened him. But I've called the cops on his neighbors once before back when we were friends bc they were assaulting one another and he called me a "snitch" and flipped out on me for getting the cops involved bc he was still on probation. So he's a goddamn hypocrite.
And ever since this bullshit happened, I think about it almost at any point where I have idle time in my day. I think about it CONSTANTLY. I want JUSTICE. I want to feel like this douchebag got a dose of karma for acting like the biggest asshole on the planet to me. I want him to lose custody of his child. I want him to relapse and go back to prison. I want him to suffer. And I know for a fact I'm not crazy the way he said I was because so many other ppl including his own mutual friends have heard my side of the story and have had my back saying I didn't deserve that. And not to mention, I've met several men since him that I've had very healthy relationships with and they treat me with respect. Like I have one best friend I can talk to on the phone for 6 hours. We're going to Europe together later this year. I'm going out to Vegas to see him. He's seen me at my very worst when all of this was going on. He tells me he loves me constantly. So I know based on the actions of other people that this guy was a total dirtbag to me.
And like I said, I'm angry, and I'm traumatized and I remember every finite detail as if it happened yesterday. And at times, I find my wheels are just spinning thinking crazy shit like oh I'm gonna go find that fucker and bash his windows in on his car. And I'm constantly thinking about how if there is a God, why haven't I found something out about him like oh he lost his job. Oh he quit school. Oh he did this or did that. But radio silence. And if anything he's outwardly doing "really well" according to some of my friends. And I'm over here just ready to do everything short of killing him. And all day long I think of either the day he reaches out to make amends to me, or the day we bump into each other somewhere and what I'm going to say, and it ranges from emotional to pissed off to violent to this to that. And I'm losing my mind. And I am fully aware of resentment being like drinking poison expecting the other person to die. NONE OF THOSE BULLSHIT SAYINGS HELP!!! I get temporary relief when I'm either hanging out with friends or I get relief when I'm doing something to help someone else out. But I just want serenity. And no. I don't want to forgive him. I don't want to in any way let him back into my life. I'm not interested in making amends for anything at all if there even was anything bc I'm not about to sit there and get manipulated again even if I'm being the better person by admitting where I was wrong.
And I haven't been to an Al Anon meeting in over a year. And I'm scared to go back. I automatically feel like I'm a porcupine ready to shoot my quills out at anyone who personally attacks me, bc the worst part about abusive people is they make us have to constantly defend ourselves and our actions when they don't have to do shit! And lately I've been very seriously thinking once my service position at this one meeting I chair at is up, I'm fucking dipping out of AA for good. I don't need these manipulative people anymore. I've gone through enough hell. I constantly see examples of shady fuckers like him "working the steps" and "calling their sponsosponsee" and all this horse shit, when like that best friend of mine who I'm going to Europe with, he hasn't been to a meeting in over a year and somehow he's the most understanding compassionate person I know but he's "dry" and all of them are "working a spiritual program of action"... Then where the f** is my amends?? And yes, I don't care if that makes me sound entitled. You're lying if you've never felt that way about someone else in your life... I'm just done. Lately I just am so exhausted that I just wanna work and never talk to anyone ever again except for like maybe 3 people. Everyone else can go suck it. Especially him.

A few years ago during that time when I was in high school, me and my ex friend went to different schools, I wanted to go to the same school as her but I couldn't since it was too far.
I told her that I couldn't go to the same school but she told me she was glad I didn't go to the same place as her because if I did, me and her wouldn't be friends at all.
You know the reason why she said that? She said if I went there, other people would take me away from her and that she would hate me which I found that stupid. Fast forward a few years later I had a boyfriend during college (he's now an ex) When I went out to town with my family, she called to me crying (while I was in a resturant) because apparently I've been ghosting her and ignoring her saying I've been too busy to even talk.
During this time I was struggling with my mental health, my relationship and college, She would start arguments with me saying I don't have time for her, not texting back saying I'm drifting away from her. Not to mention she wrote a poem about me(I have the poem on my phone) , I didn't know what to say and she asked you're not mad I wrote a poem about you? You won't sue me right?
And I was like it's fine but in my head it wasn't fine. She would make it about herself, I listened to her constantly complaining and she would trauma dump the past. She brought up the fact I didn't turn up to choir practice while I was getting bullied.
She blamed me for that not the girl who bullied me, not to mention she and the bully were friends on Facebook, the girl who bullied me would talk trash about me to her and she would tell me the horrible things the bully said about me, I was so hurt and betrayed yet I still kept her as a friend.
2 years go by and this was before Covid hit, the day she arrived I took her to my dance practice so she could watch before my day. She complained saying that she's tired, didn't take her meds, telling me she wasted her money to come visit me. I was embarrassed when she was having a tantrum infront of everyone that I had to take her somewhere else.
It felt like a burning iron everytime she complained I was flustered and I felt tired just by listening to her. On the evening the day before my birthday party, there was no food at the house since my mother was busy preparing for my debut. She hasnt eaten food or taken her meds but blamed me again, so we both had to walk to mcdonalds in the evening around 8pm just for her to eat.
The day of my birthday party, everything was going well, I introduced her to my college friends and others but after the party we went back to our rooms getting ready for bed, she asked me why didn't you introduce me to those boys? Why didn't you spend time with me? I didn't know what to say anymore because I was tired genuinely that we didn't talk until morning.
Then after a few days I haven't heard from her, She was talking to one of my guy friends but the thing is she would only talk to me if she had problems with him and would come crying in call and texting me about it. I have been reassuring her every time she had problems with my guy friend and it was tiring, he even mentioned to me she was controlling and bossy and he was right .
I never complained about anything between me and her but she wanted to make problems that I didn't talk to her or wasn't talking to her enough, I gave her space and I gave myself space but she still complained why I didn't message her but I did several times but in other days I wouldn't talk to her because I was scared.
I never talked about my mental problems and my trauma with my SA past to her because she'll make me feel worse and trauma dump and mention the past about me leaving her repeatedly when I was bullied by the same girl she was friends with.
I wanted to cut ties with her but I was afraid that she will get mad at me because she had issues with her behaviour for always getting angry and shouting at me when we get into an argument in call and would blame me.
But I was genuinely afraid at the same time losing my only friend because I had no one else to talk to. After a month or two I was messaging her and she brought up the vaccine topic, during that time she was a student nurse and I didn't really want to talk about it but she insisted telling me I should take the vaccine. If I didn't take it apparently I would affect her "family, friends and patients" but what about me? What am I to her? Me and her live in different cities 1 hr away from each other, so how can I affect them if I live so far away? That doesn't make sense.
She told me If I didn't take it she told me people would think I'm a dirty pest and a scumbag.
I was so done, honestly so done after she posted our private conversation on her private story but apparently she deleted it afterwards just for me to see? Not sure if I believe that. I blocked her on every social media and after that I felt better, the heavy burden I held for so long was gone. I was happier without her.
I never even got birthday gifts from her even when I gave hers every year so I stopped gifting her. I wasted 9 years of friendship and stopped trusting people after that.

Poem by Marceline Desbordes-Valmore (photo of text)
English Translation by David Paley (Another translation to explore is by Louis Simpson)
Les séparés The Separated Apart
Do not write. I am sad and would like to fade away. The fine summers without you are nights without light. I have folded my arms unable to reach you; And to knock at my heart is to beat on my grave. Do not write!
Do not write. Let us learn only to die in ourselves. Ask only of God… of yourself, whether I loved you! In the depths of your absence, to hear that you love me Is to be hearing from heaven without ever ascending. Do not write!
Do not write. I am fearful of you and afraid of my memory That has kept your voice and calls to me often; Do not show me the water that cannot be drunk For your cherished writing brings your portrait alive. Do not write!
Do not write those sweet words that I dare not read any more: It seems that your voice spreads them over my heart; And, as I see them through the glow of your smile; It seems they are stamped with a kiss on my heart. Do not write!
https://preview.redd.it/nfboc8l2rb1d1.jpg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6281eaa6bb17dae221fecc3aefeae5db72386ed3

"You gotta know that there's an art to it, Ezra," Hitch said, cutting another piece of duct tape.
The sleeves of his weather-beaten coat were shoved all the way up his arms, to stop the fabric from falling over his knuckles while he was working, and goosebumps lined his skin. He was strapping a rubber chicken to the back of his truck, over the lens of the shattered backup camera, with the legs pointing down so that they hung a couple inches above the ground. There were dents in the hood from the crash last week, and scratches along the door from scraping into a curb. The chicken, hopefully, would keep him from breaking anything else.
"You can't go cheap," Hitch said. "The cheap rubber chickens only make noise when pressure lets go. That's no good. As soon as I back up into something, I want this chicken to be screaming like it’s in the depths of hell."
“Sure thing,” I said in a monotone, leaning against the side of the truck.
There were scrambled electronic parts piled in the back of the truck, the innards of a radio, a broken computer, tangled wires, a couple loose pairs of earbuds. He found the parts in alleyways or bummed them off his friends for a couple bucks or stole them from the vacation homes that were left empty for most of the year. Then he sold them for a profit at the scrapyard. Hitch had bounced between minimum-wage jobs for a while after high school, spending a couple months as a bagger at the grocery store or as a seasonal worker at the farm two hours down the highway. He'd never stuck with it. At the very least, the scrapyard got him enough money to eat and occasionally spend a night in a motel when he got tired of sleeping in his car.
Hitch pressed the last piece of tape in place and grinned up at me. "I've got something for you, duck."
The nickname came from when I’d broken my leg as a child and waddled around in a cast until it was healed. I hated it with a burning passion, and I glared at Hitch with the ease of twenty-one years of practice. He had a duck tattoo at the base of his thumb that he’d gotten in a back-alley shop as a teenager. He said that he’d gotten it to remind him of me, and the fact that I hated the nickname was just a bonus. It was shaky-lined, with an uneven face, but he loved it anyway.
The handle stuck when Hitch tried to open the door, a consequence of the rust collecting in the crevices of the car and running down the sides like blood from a cut. The car groaned when the door finally popped open, a metal against metal screech that had me flinching away. Hitch dug through the cluttered fast food containers in the passenger-side footwell, eventually coming up with a crinkly paper bag. He waved away the flies buzzing around the opening of the bag and held it out to me.
The last time Hitch had brought me food, I’d gotten food poisoning because he’d left it out in the midday sun for two days. The donut was squished slightly, and the icing was stuck to the bag. I still ate it, grimacing at the harsh citrus flavor. Taking Hitch’s food was an instinct engraved from the days when Dad had given us a can of kidney beans for dinner and Hitch had drank the juice, leaving the beans for me.
I rarely went hungry anymore, three mostly square meals a day and granola in my pockets just in case, but habits didn’t die easy.
These days, Hitch only brought me food when he wanted my help, like when he saw a place he wanted to hit but was worried about doing it alone.
I got in the car, like I always did.
We drove past the cluster of seafood-themed restaurants with chipped paint decks, the beachfront park where there were always shifty-eyed men sitting under the slide, the single room library where all the books had been water damaged in the flood last year. The change was quick as we drove across Main Street, heading closer to the beach. The roads were freshly paved, the concrete a smooth black except where the sun had already started to pick away at it. The three-story homes lining the sides of the street were crouched on elegant stilts, with space underneath for a car or three. Most of the garages were empty, with the lights off and curtains drawn in the house. Come summer, the streets would be swarming with tourists and vacationers, but until then, most of the buildings nearest to the beach were unoccupied.
Hitch stopped as the sun started to go down at a house that was leaning precariously out towards the beach, tilted ever so slightly, the edge of its foundation buried in the shifting sand of the beach. It certainly looked deserted, with an overgrown yard and blue paint peeling off the door in sheets.
Hitch took his hammer out of the backseat, hoisting it over his shoulder. It was two feet of solid metal with rags wrapped around the head to muffle the sound of the hits. Hitch squared up, bending his knees and holding the hammer like a baseball bat. Before he could swing, though, the door creaked open on its own, the hinges squeaking. The house beyond was dark enough that I could only make out general shapes, glimpsing the curve of a sofa to the left, what was maybe the shimmer of a chandelier on the other side.
Hitch lowered his hammer, looking vaguely disappointed that he didn’t get to use it. “That’s…weird as hell.”
“Maybe the deadbolt broke, maybe they forgot to lock it, it doesn’t matter,” I hissed, checking our surroundings for other people again. “Just hurry up and get inside before someone calls the cops.”
Hitch flicked the lightswitch on the wall, and the lights flickered on. They were dim, buzzing audibly and blinking off occasionally. The walls were plastered with contrasting swatches of wallpaper and splattered with random colors. There was neon orange behind the dining table, a galaxy swirl in the kitchen, and on the ceiling there was a repeating floral pattern covered in nametag stickers. Each of the stickers was filled out with The Erlking. Chandeliers hung in every room, three or four for each, and rubber ducks sat on every table. A miniature carousel sat in the corner along with a towering model rocket.
Sand was heaped on every surface, at least a couple inches everywhere. It was piled in the corners and stuck to the walls, and it covered the floor in a thick blanket. Our hesitant steps into the house left footprints clearly outlined in the sand.
Hitch took a cursory look around and headed immediately for the TV mounted on the wall. “Look out the windows and tell me if anyone is coming.”
I shook the sand out of the blinds and pulled them open, then had to brush sand off of the window before I could see anything.
Hitch was quick, practiced at finding and appropriating the things that were worth taking. He came back to me with an armful of electronics and chandeliers, dumping it at my feet before turning to head deeper into the house again.
There was a thump, somewhere upstairs, and then footsteps, slow and deliberate. Hitch froze at the threshold of the room, then ran for the door with me just ahead of him, sand flying out from under our feet.
My hand was almost brushing the doorknob, close enough that I could see the light from the streetlamp outside streaming in through the cracks in the door. My fingers touched the wood and it gave under my touch, becoming malleable and warm. I yelped, stumbling backwards, and the door started to melt. The paint ran down in thick drops, pooling at the bottom of the door, and the wood warped like metal being welded. The soft edges of the door ran into the walls until there was no sign of an exit ever being there.
“Well, well, well,” said a cultured voice with just an edge of snooty elitism. “What do we have here?”
The man was well over eight feet tall, with long black hair covering his eyes. He was wearing a yellow raincoat with holes cut out of the hood to accommodate the deer antlers jutting upwards from his head. There was sand settled on his shoulders and hovering around his head like a halo.
“Who the fuck are you?” Hitch said, inching towards a window.
He smiled, just a little bit, and his teeth shone in the dim light. “I am the Erlking.”
Hitch nodded, and seemed about to respond. I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him towards the window. I could feel sand in the wind roaring against my back as the Erlking growled in anger, the grains scraping harshly against my cheeks.
We were almost to the window when Hitch was ripped away from me, and I came to a startled halt. The sand had formed long grasping arms that pressed Hitch against the floral wallpaper. His wrists were held tight, and as I watched, a sandy hand wrapped around his mouth and forced its way between his teeth. He gagged, and sand trickled out of the corners of his mouth.
The Erlking strolled towards him, not seeming to be in any sort of rush. “You know, I’m not very fond of your yapping.”
He made an idle gesture and the sand wrapped around my ankles, tethering me in place.
“I yap all the time,” Hitch said. “Three-time olympic yapper, that’s me. Best to just let me go now and save yourself some trouble.”
The Erlking tapped a manicured nail against Hitch’s mouth, hard enough to hurt, judging by the way he flinched away. “But why would I ever let you go when I’ve gone to this much trouble to catch you and your sister? It’s so hard, these days, to find people that no one will miss.”
Hitch struggled against the sand, trying to escape and failing. “What do you want with us, then? You just said it, we’re nobody.”
“I’m fae, dear one,” the Erlking said. “I get my power from my followers. And I think that you two will make lovely additions to my flock.”

He flicked Hitch's nose and Hitch gasped. Feathers started to form on his arms, popping out from under his skin in a spray of blood.
Hitch pushed off the wall, using his bound hands as a fulcrum, and his knees crashed into the Erlking’s stomach. The Erlking fell backwards, wheezing, and the sand around my ankles loosened.
Hitch made desperate eye contact with me as feathers shot up his neck and jerked his head towards the window. The message was obvious. Run.
The last thing I saw before crashing out the window and into freedom was Hitch’s body twisting, his arms wrenching into wings and feathers covering every inch of his skin. By the time I landed on the concrete outside, he was a small black bird, held tightly in the Erlking’s hands. The whole building was sinking into the ground, burnished-gold sand piling up over top and streaming from the windows.
Thirty years later, I saw Sam’s Supernatural Consultation and Neutralization written in neat, looping handwriting on a piece of paper taped to the door. The tape was peeling at the corners and the paper was yellowed with age, but there was obviously care put into the sign, in its perfectly centered text and looping floral designs drawn over the edges in gold marker.
I knocked, hesitantly, drawing my woolen coat closer around my shoulders. I’d bought it as a fiftieth birthday gift for myself, and I took comfort in the heavy weight of it over my shoulders.
“Coming!” someone called from within the depths of the office.
There were a couple crashes, and the sound of paper shuffling. Eventually, the door was opened by a young woman with ketchup stains on her shirt and pencils stuck through her hair.
“Hi, I’m Sam, I specialize in supernatural consultation and hunting, how may I help you today?” Sam said, customer-service pep in her voice. She stood in the doorway, solidly blocking entry into the office.
“My name is Ezra, I’m for a consultation. I emailed you but you didn’t respond?” I shifted in place, suddenly feeling awkward.
“Oh! Yeah, I lost the password for the email ages ago. Sorry for the bad welcome, I get lots of people thinking I’m crazy or pulling a prank and harassing me.”
She ushered me into the office, clearing papers off one of the chairs to make room for me to sit down. There was a collection of swords along one wall, all of them polished to perfection, several with deep knicks in the metal which indicated that they’d been used heavily.
“So what can I help you with?” Sam asked again, more sincere this time.
“Thirty years ago, my brother was turned into a bird,” I started. I’d told this story so many times that it barely felt ridiculous to say anymore. I was used to the disbelieving looks, the careful pity. But Sam just nodded along, face open and welcoming.
“I’ve almost given up on finding him, at this point,” I said. “But I saw your ad in the newspaper, and…here I am, I suppose.”
“Here you are,” Sam echoed, smiling. She pulled one of the pencils out of her hair and took a bit of paperwork off of one of her stacks, turning it over so that the blank side sat neatly in front of her. “Tell me everything.”
I told Sam everything, and she wrote it all down, pencil scratching along the paper.
The last part of the story was always the hardest to tell. “I left him there. I ran and I didn’t look back.”
I had been to dozens of detectives and investigators over the years, once the police had dropped Hitch’s case. I’d been to professional offices with smartly-dressed secretaries and met scraggly men in coffee shops. All of them had given me the same look, pity and annoyance all mixed up into a humor-the-crazy-lady soup. Sam, though, just seemed thoughtful.
Sam leaned forward and put a hand over mine, carefully, like she thought that I would pull away. “Sometimes you have to leave people behind.”
I tightened her hold on Sam’s hand and drew it towards me, like I could make Sam listen if only I squeezed tight enough. “But that’s why I’m here. I don’t want to leave him behind.”
“Okay then. I’ll do my best to help you.” Sam agreed, finally. Then she paused, and said softly, “You know…I think I met your brother once. He might have saved my life. He’s certainly why I started in this business.”
“Really? What happened?” I asked.
This is the story that Sam told me, related to the best of my abilities:
It was a new moon, so the only illumination came from the stars gazing idly down and distant porch lights shining across the scraggly brush of the dunes. Sam’s neighbors were decent people who cared about baby turtles, so the lights were a low, unobtrusive red, and the ocean sloshed like blood. Sam walked on the beach almost every night, drawing back the gauzy pink curtains and clambering out her bedroom window. She didn’t often bother to be quiet; her mama worked the late shift and came home exhausted. As long as Sam got home before the sun, her mama would never find out that she paced the shoreline and dreamed of inhaling sand until her lungs became their own beach.
The sky was lightening. The sun would come up soon, and that meant Sam’s time on the beach was over. She needed to get back to her real life, go to her fifth grade class and stop that nonsense, as her mother would say. Her mother loved to say things like that, pushing Sam into her proper place by implication alone.
“She’s a good kid, of course, but she’s a bit…” Her mother would trail off there, usually getting a commiserating expression from whoever she was talking to. Sam always wondered how that sentence would have finished. She’s a bit strange, maybe. She’s a bit intense. She’s a bit abrasive. She’s quiet enough but when Jason tried to steal her pencil in math class, she stabbed him in the hand so hard that the lead tattooed him.
Her mother was better, for the most part. The days of her stocking up the fridge, and leaving a post-it note on the counter, and leaving for days at a time were gone. But Sam still stepped around the place on the kitchen tile where her mother had collapsed and caved her head in, even though the bloodstains had been replaced with new tile.
“Your auntie got an abortion, you know,” her mother had said from her place on the couch, slurring her words. “Pill in the mail and then bam, no more baby.”
She had clapped her hands together to illustrate her point. Her mother jerked forward and grabbed Sam by the wrist, then, staring up at her until Sam met her eyes.
“I love you, you know? But sometimes I wonder…” She settled back onto the couch. “Yeah. I wonder.”
She’d gotten up, then, back to the kitchen. She’d been stumbling, a shambling zombie of a woman. The ground in the entryway of the kitchen was raised, ever so slightly, and her mother went down hard. Her head cracked against the tile, chin first, and she didn’t move.
Sam had been the one to call the ambulance. She had stared at the scattering of loose teeth on the ground while she waited, and considered what her life would be like with a dead mom. Not so bad, she thought, and immediately felt guilty for it.
Her mom was better, now, for the most part. But Sam still stepped around the place on the kitchen floor where she had collapsed. There was still a matchbox hidden under her bed with the gleaming shine of her mother’s lost teeth, two canines and a molar. It was nice, having a piece of her mom to keep. Even if she left again, Sam would still have part of her.
Sam sighed, and turned away from the ocean. As she faced towards the low dunes further up the beach, she saw a sandcastle sitting nestled among them. It was such a strange sight that her eyes skipped over it at first, almost automatically, disregarding it because it was so out of place.
Sam found sandcastles out on the beach sometimes, usually half-collapsed and on the verge of being washed away by the waves, but she had never seen anything like the sandcastle in front of her. It was life-sized, something that wouldn’t have looked out of place in the Scottish highlands, with spires shooting up above her head and carefully etched out bricks lining each side. The front wall was dominated by an arched set of double doors, twice her height, with a portcullis nestled at the top, ready to be dropped. All of it was lovingly detailed, down to the rust on the tips of the towers and the wood grain of the door. It was made out of wet, densely-packed sand, held together impossibly. It had not been there two hours ago, when she had come to the beach.
There was a bird sitting on the overhang of the door, small and black.
As soon as she took a step towards the sandcastle, the bird shook out its feathers and swooped down towards Sam, landing at her feet with a little stumble.
“Hey, kid, get out of here,” said the bird.
Sam closed her eyes, very deliberately. When she opened them, the bird was still there. Sam considered herself a very reasonable person, so she immediately drew the most logical conclusion. The bird was, she was almost certain, a demon.
“Trust me, you don’t want to run into Mr. Salty, the queen bitch himself,” the bird said.
“Mr. Salty?” Sam inquired, polite as she knew how to be. She edged to the side, trying to get a good angle to kick the bird like a soccer ball.
The bird did something similar to a wince, all its feathers fluffing up then settling back down. “Ah, don’t call him that. He’d turn you into a toad.”
The bird gestured with its head, towards the looming sand structure. “That’s his castle. He’s in there, probably scuttling along the ceiling or some shit because that’s the sort of weirdo he is.”
Sam nodded, encouraging. She pulled back her foot and lined up her shot, the way she’d seen athletes do on TV. She aimed right for its sharp beak and let loose. The bird saw it coming, its beady eyes widening, and it cawed in distress. It flapped away, avoiding her kick only to fall backward into the sand in a scramble of wings.
“What’s your fucking problem?” it squawked. “I was trying to help you!”
“I don’t need the help of a demon,” Sam yelled, trying to remember the exorcism that her mama had taught her once, because her mama believed in being prepared for anything.
“I’m not a demon,” the bird said indignantly.
It was at about that moment that Sam gave up and just decided to roll with it.
“What are you, then?” Sam asked.
The bird shuffled its clawed feet, looking about as awkward as it could, given that it didn’t really have recognizable facial expressions. “Technically I’m a familiar of the Erlking, prince of the fae, but I prefer to be called Hitch.”
“You can’t blame me for assuming, though,” Sam said. “Ravens do tend to be associated with murder.”
“Hey, excuse you,” Hitch said. “I’m a rook, not a raven. Ravens are way bigger.”
“Sure,” Sam said, not really paying attention. Her eyes had caught on the details of the sandcastle, and she was transfixed by the slow spirals of the sand, the strange beauty of it. She found herself stepping towards the great doors, lifting a hand to knock, and as she did, the sand warped in front of her eyes, heaving itself towards her with bulging slowness. The door creaked open before her, revealing a vast, empty room. Just before she stepped inside, she felt a piercing pain in her foot, and she yelped, leaping backwards.
Hitch pecked her again, really digging his beak in. “Don’t be an idiot.”
Sam glared at him, rubbing her foot. About to retort, she finally really took in the room inside the sandcastle, and her words died in her throat.
There was a body just past the threshold of the door, face down and limbs hanging limp at its sides. Long hair splayed out in a halo around its head.
“Don’t,” Hitch warned, suddenly serious. “Just leave, kid, I mean it. I’ve seen too many people go down this road and you don’t want to be one of them.”
Sam ignored him. She made her way across the beach, slipping with every step. The sand felt deeper, piling up around her feet in silent drifts. She picked up the nearest stick and poked the body with it through the door, ready to leap back if anything went wrong, staying firmly outside of the sandcastle.
This close, Sam could tell that it used to be a woman. Her head wasn’t attached to her body. It hadn’t been a clean amputation, either. Her upper body was bruised, with chunks taken out of it, and the bones in her neck hung mangled, not connected to anything.
“Well, I warned you,” Hitch said, defeated. “I did warn you.”
Sam nudged the head with the end of the stick, nudging it over so that she could see the face. Her mother stared back at her, torn to pieces, breath still wheezing from her lungs. She wasn’t blinking, just gazing forward with glazed eyes. Sweat dripped down from her hairline.
Sam screamed and dropped the stick, tripping over herself in her haste to get away.
Her mother’s eyes were wide and pleading, and she was mouthing desperate words at Sam. Her vocal cords were broken to bits, and the only sound that came out was a strained groan.
The head rolled, inching closer to Sam like a grotesque caterpillar.
Her mother gasped for air, torn lips fluttering. Finally, comprehensible words came out. “Help. Help me, daughter.”
“That’s not your mother,” Hitch said, quiet.
Sam knew that. Her mother was sleeping back at home, and anyways her mom had never asked for her help. She had an aversion to accepting charity, as she put it.
“Okay,” Sam said, shaking all over. “Okay.”
She backed away from the sandcastle, not looking away.
“Failure,” her mother hissed as she stepped away. “I never wanted a daughter like you.”
The sun came up over the horizon. The sandcastle, Hitch, and her mom all disintegrated into sand as the light hit them.
The beach, the next night, was almost exactly how I remembered it. The beams of our flashlights sent light bouncing across the dunes, illuminating the waves, and I imagined faces in the foam of the waves.
“I’ve been back here a hundred times. There’s nothing left,” I said.
Sam took the car key out of her purse and pointed it at the sand, adjusting the sword slung over her shoulder in order to do it. The key had belonged to Hitch; Sam had requested an item of his, and it was the only thing I had left. She rested the key on the sand and drew a circle around it, inscribing symbols around the borders.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
Sam shrugged. “Not much, really. I’m…I guess you could say that I’m knocking.”
The key laid inert on the sand for long enough that I was just about to give up and go home, admit to myself that Hitch was dead and that I was a fool to believe that Sam could actually help me. Then a building started to take shape, flickering in and out like it was struggling to get away. With a pop of displaced air, the sandcastle settled into existence.
Sam banged on the entryway. Nothing happened. She did it again, harder, and scowled when the door still didn’t open.
“We demand entrance, under your honor,” Sam yelled. There was a hard rush of wind, and I gripped Sam’s arm to keep my balance, but the doors cracked open reluctantly.
The inside of the sandcastle consisted of one enormous hall, the roof arching up out of sight. Rafters crisscrossed from wall to wall, and a cobbled path led further into the building, but other than that, it was completely empty, except for the birds. There were thousands of them, perched on the rafters or hopping along the ground. They parted in front of Sam and I, and reformed behind us, leaving us in a small pocket of open space. They were all black-feathered, with sharp beaks and beady eyes.
The Erlking sat on a throne at the end of the hall, lounging across it with his feet up on the armrest. He watched them as they came forward, the soft caw of the birds the only sound.
“I am here to bargain for the life of my brother,” I said, with as much dignity as I could muster, before the Erlking could say anything.
The Erlking ignored her, tilting his head to look at Sam. “I remember you. I almost got you, once.”

Sam glared at him but didn’t respond.
“You want your brother,” The Erlking said to me, and he almost sounded amused. “Then go get him.”
As if by some sort of silent signal, every bird in the room took flight at once, and their cawing made me think of screams. I covered my head against the flapping of their wings, and my vision was quickly obscured by the chaotic movement of them. I found myself on my knees, just trying to escape them.
A hand met my shoulder. Sam urged me to my feet, and together we ran for the edge of the room, where the swarm was the thinnest. We pressed ourselves into the corner and the swarm spiraled tighter and tighter at the center of the room. It went on until there seemed to be no differentiation between the birds, all of them fused together into one creature.
When the chaos died down, the birds had become one mass, with wings and eyes and talons sticking out of its flesh, thrashing and chirping. Human body parts stuck out of it, bulging out from the feathers. It was hands, mostly, with a couple knees or staring eyes. The bird amalgamation had no recognizable facial features, but there was one long beak extending from the front of its head. Most of the body parts were concentrated around the beak, and they peeked out from where the beak connected with muscle, or grew from the tongue, nestled between the two crushing halves of the beak.
It turned its beak down and crawled forward, using the hands to balance. The fingers scrambled over the ground. I was afraid of centipedes as a child, and I felt that same crawling dread when it started moving.
“Holy shit,” Sam whispered, which was rather disappointing, because I had been hoping that at least one of us knew what to do.
The creature turned, a lurching movement that crushed some of the hands underneath it, and started heaving itself slowly towards our corner.
“Better hurry up!” the Erlking called from his throne.
It was blocking the exit, by then. The shifting body of it had moved to block us off. It ambled towards us and I tried to sink further into the corner.
As it approached, getting close enough that I could smell the stink of it, I saw a flash of a tattoo on one of the hands. I leaned in, trying to find it again, like looking for dolphins surfacing in the ocean. And again, I caught a glimpse of a duck tattoo, the tattoo that Hitch had gotten on his hand as a teenager.
I ripped away from Sam’s death grip and ran for the monster.
I fell to my knees in front of it, wincing as I impacted the ground, and reached into the nest of hands. I could feel them tearing at my forearms and ripping into me with their sharp nails, but I kept going. I pressed further in, up to my shoulder in a writhing mass of limbs, aiming for the spot where I had last seen that tattoo.
The hands were tugging at me, wrapping around my back and hair. They were pulling together, trying to draw me completely into the mass of them. I was aware of Sam at my side, anchoring me in place and bashing any hand that got too close with her sword or the sparks that leapt from her hands with muttered words. But I didn’t think it would be enough. They were too strong, and there were too many of them.
I was up to my waist in the hands when something grabbed my palm. I felt the way it clung to me, and the calluses on its palm, and I knew that I had found my brother.
I flung herself back. The hands didn’t want to let me go, and they fought the whole way, but slowly, I made progress. I kept hold of Hitch’s hand in mine the whole time, gripping it as hard as I could. I finally broke free, Hitch with me, and Sam was immediately charging the creature, able to use her sword with much greater strength without being worried about injuring Hitch. She swung it forward, and it sliced through the wrist of one of the hands. It fell without a sound, red sand flowing out of it. It deflated until it looked like dirty laundry, just a piece of limp flesh. The creature shrieked, scuttling away enough that the door was finally accessible. The three of us ran for it, Sam and I supporting Hitch between us.
I looked back as I left and found the Erlking staring right at me.
“Interesting,” he murmured, his voice carrying impossibly across the vast space between us.
The sandcastle collapsed behind us, the great walls falling in on themselves. We were out in the morning sun, the sandcastle disappearing as we watched. Hitch was on the ground in front of me, as young as he’d been thirty years ago, when he was captured. He started laughing, feathers puffing out of his mouth. He laughed until he cried and I hugged him in the way that he’d held me when I was young, in the times when my life had been defined by hunger and fear.
Hitch left, afterwards. He scratched at the pinhole scars covering his body, where feathers burst through his skin, and pulled his long sleeves down around his wrists. He didn’t know where he was going but he told me that he needed time
I had spent thirty years worth of time without him. I wanted to grab my brother by the shoulders and beg him to stay. But he flinched when I hugged him goodbye and he refused to go near sand and he stared distrustfully at the birds chirping in the trees. Hitch needed to go away and I loved him too much to stop him.
I sat out on the beach every morning. I felt the sun on my face and I waited for Hitch to come home.

So basically I wanna talk to one of my classmates more. I've been texting them recently about assignments but that's basically it and even then the convos don't last very long. I get very nervous easily and dare not try to push the conversations in case they get weirded out or think that I come off as pushy. How do I try and expand the conversations in a natural way?

When I was in high school I got asked out once by a girl who I knew of but did not know personally while I was in my free period. I tried to play it cool when I said yes but I remember my heart was racing and I couldn’t believe what was happening. That day I when I got home words couldn’t describe how excited I was. I mean someone asked ME out! Like that’s the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. I was so happy I remember telling my mom that a girl wanted to go out with me, and not only that she asked me too! She couldn’t believe it and was so happy for me. I was already planning what I was gonna wear, what we could do for the date, the cologne I wanted to wear, and the flowers I wanted to get her. I truly thought things were looking up for once cause my highschool experience had been pretty awful. She gave me her IG to text her when she asked me and I followed her but she never followed back so I figured she might not have seen it or was just busy. The next day however, I was told by a group of semi-friends that I had that they were told by the girl and her friends that it was actually just a dare and wasn’t serious and she had no intention of going out with me. I was devastated and when I got home from school that day I fucking sobbed. I wanted to get ahead of it cause I already told my mom I was gonna go on a date with a girl some time soon but that was obviously not gonna happen so I told her the girl that asked me was actually very nervous and asked if we could get to know each other more in the school setting before we meet outside of school just to buy myself time. But yeah it was awful and it hurts me all these years later to think about.

/ Hayes’ pov /
When Solene’s large sable orbs locked on mine, time stopped, the past five years of pain fell away. Her supple rosy lips upturned and slightly parted- the same way they had before. The same lips I fell in love with. She was beautiful, the same stand out features and subtle curves.
It felt as if gravity was pulling me closer, each step unconscious. With our toes nearly touching, every nerve ending in my body urged me to touch her, to tuck a stray strand of hair away.
“Hi.” Her voice velvety and deep, slightly hoarse.
Unsure of what to say I began to speak, “H- wh- how are you?” The future of whatever could be depended on the next few moments, and I didn’t even know where to begin.
Solene felt the same way, it was evident in her tone, “I’m well, not much has changed, I’m slightly older…” she let out a weak laugh “and Izzy is a sophomore in college. He-“.
“That’s gre-“ I began. “Sorry you go ahead.” I could feel my cheeks pinken.
“I was just going to ask if you’d like to sit and chat, I have time before my client arrives and it would be nice to talk.” Her tone was unreadable, I’d hoped she’d wanted me to say yes.
With a nod of my head, she turned on her heels; her now chin length hair fanning out slightly.
————————————————————————————— Once we reach the offices, Tracy peeks her head out of her office and smirks “Ah hello Adonis.” The comment although to me is more geared toward Solene.
“Tracy, don’t you have some art to purchase or someone else’s awkward moment to make worse.” Solene rolls her eyes, the same mischievous sparkle apparent.
With a small smile, I duck into Solene’s office. Taking in the familiar-small- space, I smile, not much has changed. Photographs of Izzy through out the years, multiple paintings from artists all over the world, and even a few of us during the time we spent together on August Moon’s tour adorn her walls.
Leaving the door open slightly Solene sits on the small love seat she added to the room, its vintage, it suits her.
Taking a seat next to her I smile. She seems to be taking me in, inspecting closely how age and life have affected me. “How are you? I saw you on Jimmy Kimmel last week, are you enjoying the solo route?”.
“It’s been a journey of loss and gain. I didn’t know that with love comes pain, until that day five years ago. The music I’ve been writing is not just about infatuation but yearning for what was.” I realize I may be rambling and pause.
“It’s nice to see you passionate about music again, the same way it was when it was just you and your guitar.” Solene’s hand touches mine tenderly, “tell me more about it?”.
“Well, when we went our separate ways I began to see the road ahead was going to be the same as before if I let it. I could keep on as the British boy who messes about and lets everyone around him make decisions for him; or I could be who I am today. I’m finally involved in the process of my music from start to fi-“ a knock on the door brings me to a stop.
“Solene, Ms. Raphel is here. I know she’s a half an hour early, would you like me to tell her you’re in meeting?” Tracy looks pained as if she’s interrupted a super secret meeting- which she has, but it’s not the end of the world.
Solene’s eyes bounce between mine and Tracy’s “Fucking artists. They’re never on time, it’s always absurdly early or laughably late.”
Deciding for the both of us I stand up, “This is important Sol, I’ll be here as long as it takes. As long as your number is still the same, I would be more than happy to schedule something.” Tracy shuts the door slowly and leaves us alone again.
“Hayes, are you sure? I can tell her I’m in a meeting, I can’t expect you to move your busy schedule around because of my client’s inability to tell time.” Solene stands and begins shuffling papers on her desk, no matter what she says I know I’ll go to the ends of the earth for her.
Standing behind her I place my hand on her shoulder “I’ll be available whenever you are. Good luck with the new client.” I walk to the door before turning back “Oh and Solene, you’re still hot or whatever.” With those parting words I open the door leaving her blinking in shock. ————————————————————————————— As I sit on the sofa of my new flat, I’m like a teen boy again. Do I dare flirt with the girl? Keep it simple? I begin typing something only to delete it until I hit send on impulse.
-Hayes- I was wondering if you’d like to get some really fucking good sandwiches sometime? ————————————————————————————— • It’s been two hours since I left the gallery, fifteen since I sent the text, and five minutes since Solene has read it. Patience and tranquility are two things I am fresh out of when it comes to waiting.
-Hayes- I know you’ve read it Sol, it’ll be just lunch.
This time she replies immediately
-Solene- I don’t know Hayes… it was always just lunch.
-Hayes- I’ll behave, or try to. Pls?
Knowing she won’t be able to say no, I prematurely do a little dance.
-Solene- I’ll think about it, maybe.
-Hayes- Go easy on my poor heart Sol. One sandwich. Not even drinks. Just bread. Yes?
At this point I may as well be on my knees, she still knows how to make me work for it. Leaving well enough alone I decide to go for a run. The waterside park in Santa Barbara has become my refuge-aside from my music- the waves and fresh, cool air keep me grounded.
————————————————————————————— After running for an hour I look at my messages to see a simple victory but a victory nonetheless.
-Solene- Fine you win. Lunch. I could go for a good sandwich.
(To be continued)

WARNING: Long post/ sx situation.
To understand the situation you need to know our history.
My ex-best friend (now 22F) and I (now 21F) haven't spoken in 2 years.
We met in school and did not like eachother, but we soon became good friends. I would spend weeks sleeping over at her ( I will call her Grace) house and she introduced me to grass and nic.
I grew up very modest and I was still a virgin when we met. One day we were talking with another one of her friends (I will call her Amanda) abt this fact and I jokingly told them that sometimes I just wished I could get it over with but that I was sure it would happen eventually. Let me be clear I was laughing and I think I even rolled my eyes, Grace responds with "I know a guy around the corner, let me call him" I told her no, and reiterated that I was joking. She said no, no, you should just get it over with and was still typing on her phone, I found out she sent a photo of me to him.
10 minutes later we were sitting in her room, Grace, Amanda, myself, and this dude ive never seen before (I will call him Ron). Amanda bent over and told me that if i didnt do it she would. The two girls then left the room and he just started kissing me.
I wont get too personal but it happened and i felt disgusting, dirty and used. During, I found out that he didnt know I was a virgin and felt guilty, but kept going anyway..
I went home and kept talking to Grace (I struggle to get friends and was nieve). Ron ended up adding me on snapchat and again, my nieve self thought i should try to stay with him because he was my first.
Grace never brought it up again, but she would always come to me with her issues but never wanted to hear about mine. Now having more life experience I realise that she wasn't a good friend but I still loved her nonetheless.
A couple months later I was packing to move (again) and told Ron that I wasnt going to do long distance and he carved my name into his arm and I found out that he is nutssss.
After I moved I would text Grace often and then she ghosted me for 9 months and came back into my life when her and her bf (that she was living with) were splitting up. (AGAIN when she needed me)
This happened to be right before my highschool graduation (I believe it was on the Saturday before, I was graduating the next Friday). She asked me if she could come stay with me for a couple of days (at this point i lived over 3hrs away) and I told her "well I am graduating on Friday so you could probably come until Wednesday" and she agreed and left that day. She ended up asking to stay through my graduation and I responded with a hesitant sure.
Throughout that week we went everyday to find a graduation dress for me and a swimsuit for her because we were doing a graduation swim and party the day after my graduation.
The day of my graduation she wanted to go look for a swimsuit for her and I said sure and we ended up staying way to long and by the time we were headed home I needed to be at the school in an hour and a half and she needed to be there in two and a half hours.
As soon as we got back to my place she gathered her stuff to shower and I said I was hoping to shower first bc i need to be there soon and she said ill be fast and just went to shower so I was trying to get everything laid out to put on and my makeup laid out so I could be fast. After she got out I raced to shower as fast as I could so I wouldnt be late and I come back in my towel, when i opened the door she was wearing a dress so short if she bent over everyone could see all the goods and the front of the dress was so low her boob could pop out at any second (she is heavy chested). Come to find out my two younger male cousins, and my grandmother saw her nipple that day. I will tell you the dress I wore was very modest catholic (high-neckline, knee-length).
I felt like she was trying to pull the attention to her. I asked her to leave after my graduation and she threw a fit and left. I didnt talk to her after that and didnt respond to her text asking me to ship some items she left.
After over two years of no contact she contacted me and left me this voice mail "Hey sweetie, it's Grace. I just wanted to give you a call and check on you, its been a minute. I just wanted to talk about what happened a while back and I wanted to clear the air with you because oh stupid there's been a lot going on. Theres a lot of stupid, stupid, stupid things. I kinda regret a lot of stupid things one of them being our friendship thats for sure, so give me a call back okay? or at least listen to this voicemail and text me if you dont want to talk to me but i love you I hope to hear from you soon.
I found out that she is now getting married and has no friends to be in her wedding party, I feel bad and I think I might be an asshole for not responding or calling back, AITA?

WARNING: Long post/ sx situation.
To understand the situation you need to know our history.
My ex-best friend (now 22F) and I (now 21F) haven't spoken in 2 years.
We met in school and did not like eachother, but we soon became good friends. I would spend weeks sleeping over at her ( I will call her Grace) house and she introduced me to grass and nic.
I grew up very modest and I was still a virgin when we met. One day we were talking with another one of her friends (I will call her Amanda) abt this fact and I jokingly told them that sometimes I just wished I could get it over with but that I was sure it would happen eventually. Let me be clear I was laughing and I think I even rolled my eyes, Grace responds with "I know a guy around the corner, let me call him" I told her no, and reiterated that I was joking. She said no, no, you should just get it over with and was still typing on her phone, I found out she sent a photo of me to him.
10 minutes later we were sitting in her room, Grace, Amanda, myself, and this dude ive never seen before (I will call him Ron). Amanda bent over and told me that if i didnt do it she would. The two girls then left the room and he just started kissing me.
I wont get too personal but it happened and i felt disgusting, dirty and used. During, I found out that he didnt know I was a virgin and felt guilty, but kept going anyway..
I went home and kept talking to Grace (I struggle to get friends and was nieve). Ron ended up adding me on snapchat and again, my nieve self thought i should try to stay with him because he was my first.
Grace never brought it up again, but she would always come to me with her issues but never wanted to hear about mine. Now having more life experience I realise that she wasn't a good friend but I still loved her nonetheless.
A couple months later I was packing to move (again) and told Ron that I wasnt going to do long distance and he carved my name into his arm and I found out that he is nutssss.
After I moved I would text Grace often and then she ghosted me for 9 months and came back into my life when her and her bf (that she was living with) were splitting up. (AGAIN when she needed me)
This happened to be right before my highschool graduation (I believe it was on the Saturday before, I was graduating the next Friday). She asked me if she could come stay with me for a couple of days (at this point i lived over 3hrs away) and I told her "well I am graduating on Friday so you could probably come until Wednesday" and she agreed and left that day. She ended up asking to stay through my graduation and I responded with a hesitant sure.
Throughout that week we went everyday to find a graduation dress for me and a swimsuit for her because we were doing a graduation swim and party the day after my graduation.
The day of my graduation she wanted to go look for a swimsuit for her and I said sure and we ended up staying way to long and by the time we were headed home I needed to be at the school in an hour and a half and she needed to be there in two and a half hours.
As soon as we got back to my place she gathered her stuff to shower and I said I was hoping to shower first bc i need to be there soon and she said ill be fast and just went to shower so I was trying to get everything laid out to put on and my makeup laid out so I could be fast. After she got out I raced to shower as fast as I could so I wouldnt be late and I come back in my towel, when i opened the door she was wearing a dress so short if she bent over everyone could see all the goods and the front of the dress was so low her boob could pop out at any second (she is heavy chested). Come to find out my two younger male cousins, and my grandmother saw her nipple that day. I will tell you the dress I wore was very modest catholic (high-neckline, knee-length).
I felt like she was trying to pull the attention to her. I asked her to leave after my graduation and she threw a fit and left. I didnt talk to her after that and didnt respond to her text asking me to ship some items she left.
After over two years of no contact she contacted me and left me this voice mail "Hey sweetie, it's Grace. I just wanted to give you a call and check on you, its been a minute. I just wanted to talk about what happened a while back and I wanted to clear the air with you because oh stupid there's been a lot going on. Theres a lot of stupid, stupid, stupid things. I kinda regret a lot of stupid things one of them being our friendship thats for sure, so give me a call back okay? or at least listen to this voicemail and text me if you dont want to talk to me but i love you I hope to hear from you soon.
I found out that she is now getting married and has no friends to be in her wedding party, I feel bad and I think I might be an asshole for not responding or calling back, AITA?

I have a pretty good relationship with my mom. We butt heads sometimes but she’s usually pretty reasonable. I’m living with my parents right now because I have a chronic illness and I’m working on getting on my feet and then moving out. I have a mental illness. I’m super healthy and have a bunch of healthy habits. I’m not a toxic person like the stereotype, I just struggle and I make sure to help my parents out as much as I can while I’m here. Just two months ago I was hallucinating so I’m on new medication. It’s working really well and I’m doing good. I go to my bipolar support group, I have a therapist and psychiatrist, I take medication. I’m on my shit bc I have to be. I never take my issues out on my parents.
(I know there will be people who blame me or judge me for having a mental disability so if you are going to do that, please don’t)
My mom has been sober for 30 years. Before that she was a mess, she’s told me intense stories. She’s very much involved with AA. She’s pretty high up there, she does speaker meanings in front of hundreds of people, all her friends are sober, her brother is sober, and she still goes to meetings regularly. Honestly, I am so grateful and proud of her sobriety. I know AA has helped her. I am super proud of her. She helps people. I just think she might need actual therapy instead of just AA work.
The thing is, she thinks everyone is an alcoholic. She can be very harsh sometimes. Ever since I started drinking alcohol as an adult, she has judged me. I definitely don’t have a drinking or drug problem. I drink maybe 2-3 times a month, a couple of glasses of beer or wine that’s it. I don’t even drink liquor. I’m happy with just a couple beers. I haven’t been blacked out since I was a teenager and I can’t remember the last time I had a hangover.
The thing is (which isn’t my main issue there’s more to this story) she literally judges me so hard if I ever drink or she hears about me drinking. We can be at dinner with the family, I’ll order a glass of cab to go with my pasta, and she will give me dirty looks and make comments. I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years. The one time I was hungover a long time ago I was vomiting, and she gave me so much grief and was like “wow you drank so much you are sick” and won’t leave me alone. At family functions I’ll have a beer with my cousins and she just vibes me so hard. She treats me like I have a serious drinking problem when I clearly don’t. For 10 years she gets shitty with me if she sees me even have one beer.
Well two days ago I had a great beach day. The beach was empty, my dog and I walked for miles, we ran into an old friend. It was such a good day. I deal with depression a lot so I treasure my good days. I was so sad that my day got ruined because of her.
On the way home I got a tall coors light bc it sounded nice after my beach day. I came home, super happy, talking to my parents, making jokes. I made some food, cleaned up the kitchen, did dishes and went to go to my room. we were walking to our rooms at the same time. As I began to say goodnight to my mom, she turned around, stared at the beer and me and gave me a nasty look. The thing about my mom she often lies, if she says something fucked up and I point it out she will lie . She does these lies and it’s so obvious.
After she gave me that nasty look, I calmly said “I’m 30 years old, I’m allowed to have a beer, don’t judge me”. Then she lied and said I was looking at your glasses. Gaslighting me. I told her, no you weren’t. You gave me a look because I have a beer. She denied it and I said “liar”. She lost her shit. She started saying you’re calling me a liar!!!! And started yelling at me. I stood my ground and said you were lying and I don’t appreciate being treated like that, you gave me a look about my beer. Shehe even admitted it and said that yes I saw you had a tall beer (she said tall as if that means something) and she continued to lie and said I was looking at your glasses too. I retreated to my room bc I didn’t want to have a full blown argument. She followed me.
The thing about my mom, when she is super upset she comes super close to me aggressively, like what people do when they are about to fight.
She came into my room and was yelling at me, saying over and over you called me a liar. She got in my face aggressively. I told her many times to get out of my face. It’s like she was trying to get me to fight her. She kept getting closer and closer until I was up against the wall. I was being rational and saying it’s not okay to treat me like this and she kept mocking me. Over and over, while inches from my face when she had me cornered. She wouldn’t listen and move.
We have a power imbalance in our relationship bc while I recover and get stable, they help me with gas sometimes or things like ordering contacts, or I’ll use it to pick up things for her or stuff like paying when I took her cat to the vet. I pet sit and pay for my bills. She gave me a credit card to keep with me just in case. I barely ever use it, usually just for gas id she says it’s okay. I’ve expressed my gratitude many times that they are helping me, while also sharing how embarassed and ashamed I am to lean on my parents and live at home for now. This hasn’t been how it was forever, I lived alone for 9 years in Northern CA. I just needed time to get more stable and save money, and have a place to live while I go to my appointments.
So she was hysterical freaking out, mocking me and getting aggressive. She all of a sudden yelled give me thee credit card now!! I barely ever use it, I don’t give a fuck about the card, she brought it up to throw the money thing in my face even though she knows how humbling it is for me to rely on them.
I said I’m not giving it to you until you get out of my face. She then grabbed my phone and said fine will your not getting your phone tonight. I said I don’t care about the card and you don’t get to treat me like this. She then ran to her office to cancel the card online. I followed her to get my phone back and got my wallet. She was hysterical yelling at me at her computer, and mocking every single thing I said. She twisted my words around. She also then said “Wow what’s going on with you tonight?” Alluding that I was being mentally ill or unstable, which she knew I wasn’t she just threw the good ol “wow have you taken your meds” to do a low blow about my mental illness. That in itself is so hurtful bc they know how much I’ve struggled with this. I told her I’m not giving you the card until you give me my phone. She got up and cornered me again. She got so close to me aggressively and I just kept telling her to back up. She got me against a wall again. Then she hit me multiple times, and I softly but firmly put my knee up and pushed to get her off me. I threw the card at her desk. I was saying that the card has nothing to do with this, you just brought that up to make me feel bad, you are so toxic, I did nothing wrong. She continued mocking me. I left and went into the bathroom and she finally left. I cried a lot in the shower.
I just treated her to a great Mother’s Day. We had a great time. It made me so sad and so hurtful she treated me like this. It keeps replaying in my head and I can’t believe she got so physical with me and hit me. The mocking, gaslighting, lies. Alluding that I was having an episode… that one hurt a lot. She didn’t say it genuinely she said it as an insult. All over a coors light. Her behavior was so toxic. I am hurt. I can’t believe she hit me.
I want to forgive her but I can’t bring myself to. I really don’t want to talk to her at all. She apologized over text but never in person. I’ve been avoiding her. Tonight, I was in the living room and she turned off the lights , I said don’t turn off the lights I’m in here. She coldly said “I don’t care”.
I need to wait to move out til my meds are stabilized and I saved the money. I’m a good roommate, I help them a lot. I miss living alone.
How do I move on from this? Where do I go from here? What should I say to her?

I have a pretty good relationship with my mom. We butt heads sometimes but she’s usually pretty reasonable. I’m living with my parents right now because I have a chronic illness and I’m working on getting on my feet and then moving out. I have a mental illness. I’m super healthy and have a bunch of healthy habits. I’m not a toxic person like the stereotype, I just struggle and I make sure to help my parents out as much as I can while I’m here. Just two months ago I was hallucinating so I’m on new medication. It’s working really well and I’m doing good.
(I know there will be people who blame me or judge me for having a mental disability so if you are going to do that, please don’t)
My mom has been sober for 30 years. Before that she was a mess, she’s told me intense stories. She’s very much involved with AA. She’s pretty high up there, she does speaker meanings in front of hundreds of people, all her friends are sober, her brother is sober, and she still goes to meetings regularly. Honestly, I am so grateful and proud of her sobriety. I know AA has helped her. I am super proud of her. She helps people. I just think she might need actual therapy instead of just AA work.
The thing is, she thinks everyone is an alcoholic. She can be very harsh sometimes. Ever since I started drinking alcohol as an adult, she has judged me. I definitely don’t have a drinking or drug problem. I drink maybe 2-3 times a month, a couple of glasses of beer or wine that’s it. I don’t even drink liquor. I’m happy with just a couple beers. I haven’t been blacked out since I was a teenager and I can’t remember the last time I had a hangover.
The thing is (which isn’t my main issue there’s more to this story) she literally judges me so hard if I ever drink or she hears about me drinking. We can be at dinner with the family, I’ll order a glass of cab to go with my pasta, and she will give me dirty looks and make comments. I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years. The one time I was hungover a long time ago I was vomiting, and she gave me so much grief and was like “wow you drank so much you are sick” and won’t leave me alone. At family functions I’ll have a beer with my cousins and she just vibes me so hard. She treats me like I have a serious drinking problem when I clearly don’t. For 10 years she gets shitty with me if she sees me even have one beer.
Well two days ago I had a great beach day. The beach was empty, my dog and I walked for miles, we ran into an old friend. It was such a good day. I deal with depression a lot so I treasure my good days. I was so sad that my day got ruined because of her.
On the way home I got a tall coors light bc it sounded nice after my beach day. I came home, super happy, talking to my parents, making jokes. I made some food, cleaned up the kitchen, did dishes and went to go to my room. we were walking to our rooms at the same time. As I began to say goodnight to my mom, she turned around, stared at the beer and me and gave me a nasty look. The thing about my mom she often lies, if she says something fucked up and I point it out she will lie . She does these lies and it’s so obvious.
After she gave me that nasty look, I calmly said “I’m 30 years old, I’m allowed to have a beer, don’t judge me”. Then she lied and said I was looking at your glasses. Gaslighting me. I told her, no you weren’t. You gave me a look because I have a beer. She denied it and I said “liar”. She lost her shit. She started saying you’re calling me a liar!!!! And started yelling at me. I stood my ground and said you were lying and I don’t appreciate being treated like that, you gave me a look about my beer. Shehe even admitted it and said that yes I saw you had a tall beer (she said tall as if that means something) and she continued to lie and said I was looking at your glasses too. I retreated to my room bc I didn’t want to have a full blown argument. She followed me.
The thing about my mom, when she is super upset she comes super close to me aggressively, like what people do when they are about to fight.
She came into my room and was yelling at me, saying over and over you called me a liar. She got in my face aggressively. I told her many times to get out of my face. It’s like she was trying to get me to fight her. She kept getting closer and closer until I was up against the wall. I was being rational and saying it’s not okay to treat me like this and she kept mocking me. Over and over, while inches from my face when she had me cornered. She wouldn’t listen and move.
We have a power imbalance in our relationship bc while I recover and get stable, they help me with gas sometimes or things like ordering contacts, or I’ll use it to pick up things for her or stuff like paying when I took her cat to the vet. I pet sit and pay for my bills. She gave me a credit card to keep with me just in case. I barely ever use it, usually just for gas id she says it’s okay. I’ve expressed my gratitude many times that they are helping me, while also sharing how embarassed and ashamed I am to lean on my parents and live at home for now. This hasn’t been how it was forever, I lived alone for 9 years in Northern CA. I just needed time to get more stable and save money, and have a place to live while I go to my appointments.
So she was hysterical freaking out, mocking me and getting aggressive. She all of a sudden yelled give me thee credit card now!! I barely ever use it, I don’t give a fuck about the card, she brought it up to throw the money thing in my face even though she knows how humbling it is for me to rely on them.
I said I’m not giving it to you until you get out of my face. She then grabbed my phone and said fine will your not getting your phone tonight. I said I don’t care about the card and you don’t get to treat me like this. She then ran to her office to cancel the card online. I followed her to get my phone back and got my wallet. She was hysterical yelling at me at her computer, and mocking every single thing I said. She twisted my words around. She also then said “Wow what’s going on with you tonight?” Alluding that I was being mentally ill or unstable, which she knew I wasn’t she just threw the good ol “wow have you taken your meds” to do a low blow about my mental illness. That in itself is so hurtful bc they know how much I’ve struggled with this. I told her I’m not giving you the card until you give me my phone. She got up and cornered me again. She got so close to me aggressively and I just kept telling her to back up. She got me against a wall again. Then she hit me multiple times, and I softly but firmly put my knee up and pushed to get her off me. I threw the card at her desk. I was saying that the card has nothing to do with this, you just brought that up to make me feel bad, you are so toxic, I did nothing wrong. She continued mocking me. I left and went into the bathroom and she finally left. I cried a lot in the shower.
I just treated her to a great Mother’s Day. We had a great time. It made me so sad and so hurtful she treated me like this. It keeps replaying in my head and I can’t believe she got so physical with me and hit me. The mocking, gaslighting, lies. Alluding that I was having an episode… that one hurt a lot. She didn’t say it genuinely she said it as an insult. All over a coors light. Her behavior was so toxic. I am hurt. I can’t believe she hit me.
I want to forgive her but I can’t bring myself to. I really don’t want to talk to her at all. She apologized over text but never in person. I’ve been avoiding her. Tonight, I was in the living room and she turned off the lights , I said don’t turn off the lights I’m in here. She coldly said “I don’t care”.
I need to wait to move out til my meds are stabilized and I saved the money. I’m a good roommate, I help them a lot. I miss living alone.
How do I move on from this? Where do I go from here? What should I say to her?

Hello everyone. My boyfriend (M23) and I (F20) have been together for over 2 years. He is my first serious boyfriend, and he treats me so well. He has so many great qualities, and he is my exact type. We moved in together one year ago, and it’s been going well. We live in a very expensive area, which we are able to afford due to his well-paying job. He got me out of a bad situation with my family, where I wasn’t being fed properly and was emotionally abused daily. I have a better relationship with my parents now that I am out of that house, but I still need distance from them. My dad and I used to be extremely close, but now we rarely talk to one another. My mom and I talk weekly, so I’m glad I have that with her. My boyfriend has an amazing family. They are the family that I wish I was a part of while growing up. His parents are so sweet and supportive of us. His mom and I are like best friends, and I love talking to her. His dad is so helpful and always gives me good life advice.
My boyfriend introduced his uncle to me when we were one year into dating. I will call him Ned. I remember the first time I met Ned. I came over to say hello, and we made eye contact, and my heart was racing. I thought he was one of the most handsome men I had ever seen in my life. He and my boyfriend look so much alike. Ned has such a confident and attractive demeanor. He has a high-paying job and loves traveling and doing adventurous things. He has always been friendly to me, greeting me with hugs. He calls me cute and was making lots of eye contact the first time we met. Flash forward to a year later, and my boyfriend and I decided to move in together, and the area we live in is about an hour's drive away from Ned and his family. So when my boyfriend and I drove down with all our belongings in our cars, Ned offered for us to spend the weekend at his house and for me to meet his family. They live in a mansion and are very well off.
Ned has a pretty and cool wife, whom I believe is in her 30s, who is hardworking and has an amazing business. He also has two beautiful children under the age of ten that I adore. I hit it off with his family; they immediately reminded me of the family I want to have one day. The entire weekend, his uncle was making eye contact with me, calling me beautiful and cute. Flash forward to six months later. Ned visits my boyfriend and I at our place, where my boyfriend and I smoke with him and just relax and banter with one another. Ned kept going off about how much my boyfriend’s family loves me and how beautiful I am. Ned also brought up how big his thing is compared to my boyfriend, to which I gasped and looked over at my boyfriend, who was dying of laughter.
Flash forward to six months later. My boyfriend's entire family comes over to Ned’s house to have a boat day. Everyone was there except Ned's wife, and the entire time he was touching me by the shoulder and hand again, giving me alcohol, making lots of eye contact, and I even caught him looking at me, to which he looked away. He always comes up to me to start a conversation and get to know me better. He hands me glasses filled to the brim with wine and touches my hand so caressingly. I don’t think much of it, and while this happens, The morning of the boat ride, we get on the boat, and Ned introduces me to friends of his and once again gives me alcohol. My boyfriend is very close with his uncle, and they get along so well. Ned made a joke about how many fingers it takes to get inside a woman, to which my boyfriend just laughed.
I’m playing with his kids the entire time, and Ned comments that I would be an amazing mom and that I am so good with them. He took lots of pictures of me and the kids, as well as pictures of me when I wasn't looking. We get back to the house to eat, and I catch him constantly staring at me once again. My boyfriend and I then leave. A week later, Ned texted my boyfriend to go have sex with me so that he could use our streaming service to watch a game since we were using it, and this caught me by surprise. We went to visit Ned and his family a week later to watch a game, and Ned’s wife was there. Whenever she is around, Ned is not flirtatious with me at all and tries to cut conversations short. He still makes lots of eye contact with me, asks for my age, and gives me plenty of alcohol.
I think Ned’s wife notices him staring at me and laughing with me, to which she gives me dirty looks and makes rude remarks. I made an inside joke with my boyfriend, asking if he recognized some songs that were playing "in the streets," to which Ned's wife replied, saying I was trying to act "ghetto" and giving me dirty looks, which made me pause and go silent the rest of the night. We finally leave, and my boyfriend tells me that Ned was married three times and that his wife is not affectionate towards him and the kids that much, and she can’t relax. Ever since then, I can’t stop thinking about Ned. He is on my mind 24/7. He is twice my age, and I dream about him constantly and have sexual thoughts about him. I would never hurt my boyfriend and his family, whom I adore. But I can’t get Ned out of my head. What do I do?
TL;DR: I love my boyfriend, but I cannot stop thinking about his uncle, and I have a massive crush on him. What do I do?

TL:DR: My fiance is messaging another woman, and i am devastated. And very pregnant. How do i navigate this?
Background: We've been together for 5 years, engaged for 2.5. We have an 18-month old together and I am currently 32 weeks pregnant. I also have a 9 yo from a previous marriage. We bought a house together 2 years ago. I lost my job in March and he has his own business.
Full disclosure: I've been in some rocky relationships. I've been cheated on, I've been the cheater. But I have never loved anyone like this, and I've never even considered cheating on my fiance. In fact, I outgrew my "wild" phase when we started getting serious, and I have never been more happy, loved, satisfied, and wanted.
Until recently. 2 weeks ago, he had to go out of town for work. He asked me to go, but we had nobody to take care of our dogs, so I stayed home with my 18-month old (my 9 yo was with other parent). We had been in a weird funk for a couple of weeks before this, and I really didn't know why. I thought the distance would maybe help, and it did. We flirted, talked dirty, said how much we missed each other, & we were both super lovey. I couldn't wait for him to get home.
However, one odd thing happened. He told me he'd like to watch me with another woman. This immediately sent up red flags, because he knows that I HAVE done that before but he's never said he wanted that to happen. All kinds of thoughts went through my head.. "Is he wanting to see someone else? Am I not good enough anymore? am I not satisfying him sexually?" But, I told him I would do that since it was his fantasy. I asked him who he had in mind, because I KNEW he had to be thinking of someone. He said he didn't know, but suggested the person I did it with before, which happens to be my best friend. We were young and experimenting, we've grown past it, and I'm not interested in that with her at this point. So, i told him as much. He said okay, then we can go on a dating app or something together, and reassured me that he would NOT go on any without me or look for anyone without me.
Nothing much more has been said about it.. he worked at home for a week, then last week our son and I joined him out of town. I thought we were good.
Last night, I was in the bathroom getting ready for a surprise congratulatory dinner I threw for him for obtaining a new license for his business, and he left his phone in the bathroom with me. His Snapchat went off, it didn't phase me, but he hurried into the bathroom and snatched his phone up. It ended up being his brother and he announced that to me like.. I care? So it was weird. Later, he ran into the store and left his phone in the car and I snooped.
There was a message thread from a lady that I don't know. His last message to her was along the lines of, "I hope I didn't freak you out last night by asking you to fool around." She hadn't yet responded. I almost threw up. I didn't dare scroll up to see the rest of the conversation because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. I closed Snapchat and set his phone down, and drove home like nothing happened. I got my kids to bed, then sat in my bed and cried for 3 hours. He was in the basement watching TV.
I vented to my aforementioned best friend, who confessed to me that after we had talked about his fantasy, he messaged her to ask if she would be interested.. after I told him I didn't want that. Why didn't she tell me when it happened? Because she's an awful friend and always has been, but I can tell her anything. Now, though, I don't even want to talk to her.
I had no idea what to do. I'm broken. I text him to say that I wanted to get my tubes tied after this baby (we'd been debating on having another) because if something happened to us, we'd have 4 kids with split parents. Idk why, it was the only thing I could think of that would alert him to the fact that something was wrong, without having the full-on conversation. He asked why I was thinking like that, said that he would never leave me, blah blah blah, a bunch of total horse shit in my opinion. I eventually went to "sleep" (if you can even call it that), and he came to bed and snuggled up to me. I pretended to be snoozing.
We had a big fun day planned today, so I didn't want to ruin it for my kids. Which is why I chose to not confront him last night. I held it together pretty well, except in the shower and now. But he can tell something is wrong. He asked me about 100x what's wrong, if he did something wrong, etc. He also had a very bad upset stomach today. Maybe nerves?
Anyway, I'm now getting my kids to bed and then I'm going to sit down with him. I really don't know what to expect. I don't think there is anything he could say that will make me ever feel secure again. I truly thought this was my forever, my happy ending. I could go on and live this life, where I'm constantly second guessing myself and being suspicious any time he kisses me, but I don't want that. I'm in the most vulnerable position I've ever been in, and it is fucking terrifying. I have no one. I have no job, soon to be 3 kids, and hell, maybe homeless.
Please send me good vibes, prayers, whatever you believe. And if you have a similar story and you were able to move past it and be happy again, please tell me how.

These are her texts to us. I responded to her informing about how she can only use 1 Groupon at this business. And can buy direct if she wants.
I will n sure to give u a review everywhere I can ! Just do u know
I had a Groupon 3 years ago for a completely different service. N I can't get a Groupon ever again?! If u wanted me to pay u , u should have made that offer while I was there but u did not that's bad business hope it's worth it.
I was looking for good service but obviously this is NOT it!lying deceiving bad business n then u argue with people who say something derogatory. Too bad for u
U too darling! Dirty u r so insecure n im glad i did not stay as ur staff is very unprofessional
N please do not contact me again ! U r overstepping due to ur insecurity. It's HARASSMENT!

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I've Been Doing a Lot of Whatever the Fuck I Want Lately and I Like It
It's the day of Ayonna's Zoom court hearing so she's thinking about survivalist jailhouse makeup hacks. They've improved since women used to use scraped paint chips off their cell walls as face powder, dampened red paper as rouge, permanent markers for eyebrow pencils, Kool-Aid doubling as hair dye and blush, and M&Ms as lipstick because deprivation causes innovation for self-preservation. That and Jamahl's excruciatingly murky explanation of his 2-year wedding day gap even though he's as open a book as a text at a class final that provides no specific answers to a general essay question. It's not that he wants to delay a ceremony displaying his love for Shellfish publicly; it's about financing a befittingly royal wedding for the ghetto version of Prince Charles and the late Diana Spencer to whom the masses must bow down, and that includes the judge who simply doesn't understand the trials and tribulations of a multi-tasking single mother with behavioral problems negotiating her child's breakfast.
Court: . . . will continue matter until she can show up in court next week since we are clearly inconveniencing her. 🙄
Ayonna: I'm just a single mother with no help. You're not going to tell me I can't feed my daughter; that's never going to happen. Is it ok if I give my daughter breakfast?
Court: We are in court here. This is a court proceeding. ⚖️
Ayonna: Ok. Just be hungry. 😏
Four years probation because the judge's gnarly attitude is taking it out on me? Girl, what are you talking about? Bitch, you're gonna' tell me I can't feed my daughter? She can kiss my ass! I'm livid. Livid! 🤬
Jamahl: At the end of the day filled with dickheads, we still gotta' bite our tongues.
I'm not selfish; I've just decided that taking your feelings into consideration is too much damn work.
Keep Your Head High and Your Middle Finger Higher
For someone more accustomed to being abused than amused, Candice has said "I love you" to Andrew more times than the repetitive phrase, turn down for what, in the party anthem by DJ Snake and Lil Jon of the same name. While Andrew, true to his word, kneels and immediately proposes, Candice hesitates, and in that moment, resembles a raw double-chinned Pillsbury dough girl with an unnatural sheen, a face too sunken in its gravity to show happiness, and sad raisin eyes reflecting physical distress. But Andrew doesn't clock any of this; he's carrying out his promise to Candice's mom in a dream he made up though she has more eyes on her truck as she doubtless recalls her fond days of street racing, driving without a license, attempted stolen vehicle, felony burglary and constantly running from the police. If she were wearing cargo pants, she could stuff them with the faux Louis Vuitton handbag contents to savor as she completes her halfway house program so she can change addresses. If he could see past his own needs, he'd notice she was trying to figure where the hell he got the idea she cared. If I've cut you, it's because you handed me the scissors.
Patience: What You Have When There Are Too Many Witnesses
Joey is taking advice from Minerva, a sex columnist who looks like Chris Farley in drag who was super stoned and wandered into the backrooms of "Saturday Night Live" for a costume change and makeup refresh before rehearsing his Fellatio 101 sketch outlined on a chalkboard: Watch amateur porn for tips. Practice dirty talk. Get excited about being excited. Use both hands simultaneously and don't bogart that spit. Don't forget, steady wins the race. Freshen up before getting online and spending money for a rented motel room far away from your parents so you can have 15 minutes of precious sexy time before your monogamous lover warns you to deactivate your online profile that his friend saw. Hey, I found your nose; it was in my business.
The King Eats First
Once again, the kids are savvier than their parents. A striking Cheyenne and Nehemiah adjust their schedules to Rob's extended sentence that Tennie tries to embroider in her naïveté while every family member is worried about their displacement when Rob physically enters the picture even though he's already there in camera spirit. It's a which-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-egg question - is it a good thing the alpha male has streams-of-revenue for Tennie's shopping jones or is she shopping because she's worried about getting with an alpha male? He's a poker king like Marcelino making 6-7K a month in jail even though online playing for real money is prohibited, and I doubt his pod mates have that kind of extra cash regularly available. Any man in this day and age who can tell a woman to "sit down and be cute" must have it figured out as a lion doesn't care about a sheep's opinion. I bring too much to the table to be treated like a napkin.
Does One of Your Balls Hang Lower Than the Other?
Rick looks like a twig the wind blew off a tree or a stranded lost lamb in a field surrounded by hungry landlocked predators looking for a banquet. Sandy is sending him pictures of the reunion to remind him of her existence while 4x-married Samantha is positioning herself to long-distance bullrope and hog tie her bachelor into a ball-and-chain before he has time to think about how he's going to stretch a rigorously set pension into providing her commissary and visitation requests. His pickleball buddy, Dan, doesn't really give a damn; it's only his nieces who are rightfully tut-tutting her dictatorial attitude and snarking, "Fifth time is a charm." "Maybe I do have options," Rick muses, but then turns around and crows, "She builds me up." Sure, right after she shakes him up - like a snow globe. It ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble; It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

https://imgflip.com/i/8qiz95
(CW: Ableism and separation anxiety. Also prepare yourself for a wall of text)
So for an explanation if you weren't on YouTube from 2017-2019. Super Mario Logan was a channel about skits played out by puppets and Nintendo characters. One day, a video was uploaded named "Mario the Babysitter" where Mario (Basically the Squidward of SML) meets a mentally handicapped boy named Jeffy. First of all, I credit Jeffy for internalized Ableism, because going back and rewatching reuploads I can see that it absolutely ROTTED he absolute SHIT out of my maluable brain. Jeffy was basically the posterchild of SML after that and everything continued on normally. That was until a video names Jeffy's Parents was uploaded. I don't know what the actual fuck the team behind it was on but it was a pretty sizable shakeup. In the first video Jeffy appears in, it's established that he was abandoned by his parents and in this video we get to meet his mother. She comes to pick him up so she can get the money his dead father left for him when he turns 18. And this fucked me up. I think was mainly because of how much it was established that Jeffy didn't want to go with her. There are multiple scenes of him just begging not to leave and even after rewatching it years later, it still is extremely sad and acted really well. I think it established a lot of fear of being separated from my parents and just low poverty areas in general. His mother is established as being very trashy and on the lower end of society, smoking, drinking while pregnant and just generally being a piece of shit. For quite a while I was really afraid of being separated from my parents and not being with them, and I think it might have even stunted my ability to form relationships. Luckily I think I've gotten over it for the most part but it appears occasionally and blindsides me. Around 2020-2021 there was this really fucked up "trend" based around this Confessions post where this woman tried to abandon her autistic son by a river to die and I had to take a break from social media until it died down for quite a while. I don't even know why the fuck the SML team did that episode. It wasn't a goodbye or "we're taking a break" episode because the status quo is back by the end, it wasn't trying to address a serious issue because there are still a lot of jokes and Jeffy's mother does return once or twice later on, it wasn't supposed to be like a DARE PSA because... well I already don't think there was an epidemic of women abandoning their children and none of them were watching fucking Super Mario Logan. I genuinely think it was just made to fuck with kids because this was around the time Logan started to bitch about his monetization being taken away because a lot of children were watching their videos.

First lets call my ex y , so basically me and y meet in the college i was helping him with hw and we got along with eachother and i introduced him to my mom and so on.. then one day he came and said I'll wait 4 u at 6pm and i said okay but i didn't make it at 6pm and ignored him the whole day cuz i was helping dad with some stuff (btw i sent him a message telling him couldn't make it) so after that day he came to me saying he wants to break up cuz i didn't care about him and he's the one who always call and like he wanted more care from me but anyway i broke up with him.. In the day i was ignoring him i was hanging with friends in the morning and i meet someone (let's call him s) that s the first time i texted him was in the day when me and y meet so i kept texting s during my relationship with y (btw i was texting him as a friend) So the ignoring day morning me and s meet for the second time ( ill explain how the first was if ur interested to know) we laughed alot and had sooo muchh funn in that day i felt sth different like omg he's the one i want him so the day after me and y broke up guess watt 😭 s confessed his feelings to me and i was like in a fckd up place so i said yes i luv u too s .. Since that day me and s are together but i made a mistake In some day i was so angry from my bf (s) so i wanted him to notice my exist, i found someone on insta and started to text him jus to make my bf jealous even tho he didn't know so i txted the insta guy we talked for 4h straight on a phone call and 1h the next day and thats it.. i blocked him after, but the problem that we actually had a very dirty conversation and he sent me his nudes and i sent him a pic of me with no nudes so my bf and the insta guy meet and he told me that he knows about everything and the nudes and when he asked me abt him i said idk why i did that ..i jus didn't want him to know that i did it cuz i was angry from him and all that was to punish myself and to calm my feelings and now he thinks im cheating on him + the insta guy and my bf and my ex from the same uni💀 i need help guys i want my bf back..

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