I’ve yet to find a nuanced discussion about “privacy”. It’s usually a bunch of people complaining about consent and their “data” being used to profit. And then when people push back on it they’ll say something like “okay what’s your social security number?” “What’s your home address?”
To me this feels like an enormous reach, and it makes me wonder what do people actually care about in terms of privacy?
I won’t be giving out my social security number because it can be used to create accounts in my name and steal my money, or impersonate me and cause me legitimate trouble.
But if some company sees that I clicked on a website about the best house cleaning robot, or that I like hot cross buns. Why would I care if companies know that? If someone wants to show me something about something I’m interested in shouldn’t I want to see it?
Wouldn’t it be better than getting ads about stuff I don’t give a shit about?
And social media and search engines have their whole business model around ads, and so does YouTube.
So to me it seems like they’re really saying “I want to pay money for all these things I get for free because I don’t want to see ads about things that I am interested in”
It also feels anti-small business because people are wanting to make advertising more difficult, therefore making it harder for small businesses to succeed while big corporations still rake in huge profits.
I’m pretty sure we can have a world where our “actually private” data like social security numbers and emails are protected while still allowing companies to see that we like cooking.
Maybe I’m just bias because I have a business and using ads helps me survive.
So… what data do you want private? And what would you be willing to share in an ideal world?
Edit: I ask here because we’re all advertisers. So we’re on both ends and may have a more holistic view on the matter.
Edit 2: I’ve seen some people complain about being accused as criminals, like when some dad took pictures of his toddler and sent them to a doctor, or the guy that “looked like the criminal”, but these cases sound like it’s a case of mismanagement or lacking appropriate functionality to handle those situations rather than actual privacy issues.

So yesterday my mom called me and asked me where I am and at that time I was having my lunch in my hostel. She told me that an unknown number has called my aunt and mentioned my father's (let's say A) name saying that A's daughter B has been arrested and is in the police station and asked for my moms numbe. Mom complained it to the police they said it's a scam call but what confuses me is that like how did he/she knows my name and my fathers name and on top of it how did he she got my aunts number. Police verified the profile and found out that it's a Pakistani phone number and the police in the picture is some retired police officer from Tamil Nadu. Also since I've filed a case against my ex bf who leaked my private videos in the internet and he is under police custody now. so can it be him or someone he has asked to dig information on me.

Hi me 20(m) and my ex gf 20(f) broke up with me the week after Valentine’s Day. We still stayed in contact without each other and a or two later she told me she wanted to get back together. But that didn’t happen for a multitude of reasons one me being tired of her posting and tagging a guy I told her I wasn’t too fond of but her excuse was that they had a brother sister relationship and are just friends and will always be. Another reason I forgot she was filming for her college’s basketball team so she wasn’t on her phone for most of the day so I texted her “r u dead?” Because she didn’t snap me back from last night and she wasn’t active of either IG or tiktok. I didn’t even mean anything by asking it, I meant it in a joking manner because her manager said the same thing to her a few days prior. But she got super mad at me and said that’s that behavior that’s pushing her away. Which was extremely heartbreaking to hear bc it wasn’t meant to be taken like that.
So after that “incident” she got upset bc I was reposting stuff on tiktok about narcissist people/behaviors. And she took great offense to that and told me to stop trying to convince her that she’s a narcissist but… I’m not the first person to call her one. Her BEST FRIEND did a pros and cons of dating her and one of her cons was that she was a narcissist. Orrrrrr when her SISTER made a video about her (ex gf) redflags and one of them was that she was a narcissist. Orrrrr the fact she has “ narcissistic, but nonchalant” in her bio of one of her private tiktoks. Orrrrr her old college roommate making a story posting saying “were narcissistic asf”. Personally I’ve never had a person let alone multiple people call me a narcissist especially but people that know me the best and longest but ig I’m the bad guy for saying it…
And while I was on one of the private tiktoks I would a post of a photo dump posting two days before we hung out for the first time and it had multiple pictures of her and her ex that she broke up with in October (we hung out for the first time on Jan. 3rd. So I bring it up to her and basically she proceeds to lie and manipulate me into thinking I’m weird to even bringing this topic up. Mind you the only reason I did was being it was bothering me too much not knowing the truth behind the photos and I just wanted some form of reassurance so I could gts but instead the situation got flipped back on me because she was upset I brought it up and that I didn’t blindly trust what she was saying. Her exact words were “ you should just give me the benefit of the doubt sometimes”. But turns she “cheated” on the ex that was in the photo dump. And I say “cheated” for multiple reasons. One being after her and the previous ex broke up in October she told him she wanted to get back together with him now she denies that conversation ever happened but her ex told me otherwise and at this point, I believe him more than her. But he told me she asked him to come stay with her in her apartment (just them two) because she didn’t wanted to be alone. Or when he told me they hung out frequently after they both were home from college. Or when he told me they spent Christmas together or when he told me the last time they hung out before I came into the picture was two days before me and her hung for the first time. So he kinda sounds like he’s telling the truth here.
But the real kicker is that she texted me explaining the whole situation and she said she KNEW he still liked her like that but when I slid into her dm’s around Dec. 13th she didn’t mention anything about an ex. So we hung out the 3rd of January I went they we went out to eating then shopped a bit and went back to her place. After I left she told me her ex pulled up on her and cussed her about and she was telling me about how crazy he was because she said she made it clear to him they were just friends now. But what I know now from her whole explanation she gave me she straight up lied to him about what she was doing that day. She told him she was going to with friends not that she was with another guy or anything. And her excuse was “I didn’t feel comfy telling him what I was doing”…crazy ik
But that brings me to my point. We dating for almost a year and when he broke up and I unadded her not even two months later she’s soft launching some new guy. But one of her private tiktoks and instagrams I’m still posted on it multiple times. And only the private tiktok she likes my reposts even though we haven’t talked since March 20th.
I also don’t want to sound conceited in anyway, but the new guy kinda looks like me slightly.
So if anyone actually read all of this, can you please help me get over this? Or think about all of this in a more healthy way.

FAIR WARNING THIS WILL BE A WALL OF TEXT
Intro: In a series of reviews that will begin (or return) here; we are going to try and take a critical look at the Chuck series, especially the unfolding of the story as scene through the teleplay. In this case we are assuming multiple things about a potential watcher:

• The watcher is new to the series and does not know about future episodes, but there is an expectation any previous episodes have been watched.
• I will try not to point information out that becomes important for later episodes, though there may be times it's important because of how episodes are filmed and how episodes string together, I will however try and hide these behind a spoiler tag. I say this as a person who has watched Chuck dozens of times, so if I inadvertently spoiler, sorry.
• I will do my best to point out interesting references that are hidden within the Chuck universe, but not at the expense of extended expositions unless in-depth analysis is necessary as it relates to the scene.

What is this all for: This started as a project to improve my critical reviewing skills for a hobby of movie script writing and analysis. Chuck happens to have published 3 original scripts and all the text of every episode has been published to a searchable database. This affords an opportunity to break from my movie writing woes and infinite revisions to just have fun enjoying Chuck and trying to deepen my understanding of the intersection of script writing with filmography and visual editing. Having said this, it should be known I have no affiliation to the show, no additional insider knowledge, and I do not write scripts for a living. So, consequently, feel free to ignore everything I say :). I do hope, however, we can go on this journey together and appreciate the excellence that is a love story called Chuck.
So, don't freak out, and lets get started.
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Chuck 01x04 (Chuck vs the Wookiee): TEASER - We open with the gang playing "Know Ya!", which isn't actually a real board game, but based on the game Paddles. It's amazing that Morgan can't stand Ellie/Awesome being in love/winning, but marches triumphantly whenever he gets a question correct. I also like we see, in frame, Chuck watching Sarah pick off olives; he's beginning to notice things just like a real spy. The deep sadness and yet storied confliction on Chuck's face when he discovers Peaches 1 and Peaches 2 was great.
For those who don't know about dogs:

• A cocker spaniel is typically smaller; by ~5inches and up to 30lbs lighter than a springer spaniel.
• Springer spaniels also have shorter fur across their bodies, with feathered hair under their chests and legs.
• Only a cocker spaniel will be solid colored
• Springer spaniels have longer muzzles, while cockers have fluffier ears.

I find it very interesting how Sarah has "spidey sense" about potentially being watched. At no point previously did either Sarah nor Casey display this trait and I'm not totally sure how an open window was enough to do this; I wonder if Sarah's comfort being around Chuck's family is causing her to develop a "feeling of being watched" as she is comfortable with the Bartowski's? For those who missed it, Sarah talks about having a sister I think at the time this was just a throw-away line to protect her cover, but in season 5 Sarah does actually have a little sister if you count the little girl she rescues One last thing about Sarah here, when Bryce is being discussed, I really like how it was played where she acts quiet and shocked, but not saying anything. The facial expressions of Yvonne here are really special and you can tell Sarah lives a life of secrets. This is carried outside when Chuck asks Sarah about her relationship with Bryce. She is totally looking down and to the right, a classic indication of an emotional response searching for rationalization (ie. she is clearly lying)
As they end the game and exit to the courtyard, there teleplay of Chuck does something I've been wanting to see forever; they switch perspective to keep both characters in camera and follow them around from a 3rd perspective. We know this is supposed to indicate they are being watched, but I really enjoy getting to see them together reacting and talking instead of the constant close-ups and cuts. Normally Chuck will be shot with something between a medium close up (MCU) and Medium Shot (MS) to emphasize their characters and highlight their faces and expressions. This works really well because Chuck's cameras are typically either shoulder level or hip level based on the operators moving through their space. In many more modern TV shows, the technology of boom cranes and gyroscopic gimbals allows for content to be show from ground level to overhead giving directors the opportunity to tell their story through a variety of shifting profiles. If Chuck were shot today, we would see everything from full body shots all the way to extreme closeups without the need for continual jump-cuts and re-shoots because the technology is there. At least for this episode, it's nice to see the director explore more hip/knee level motion and more cowboy framed shots when having a distant observer perspective. https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/types-of-camera-shots-sizes-in-film/ does a fantastic breakdown of all the different shot type and camera perspectives for you want to read more!
As we transition into Sarah's hotel room, did anyone pick up on how NICE this is? She has double sinks, a king bed, a sitting mirror, free standing tub, and a great view. I doubt any agency in the "real world" would ever spring for something like this for multiple years for one of their agents, it's fancy! Enter Carina, tell me, who saw Sarah fight with a soap sock and think of iCarly and the famous "butter sock". Also during this fight, why is Sarah wearing a golden bikini? I know she is about to get into the shower, but what plausible reason is there for her to a) wear a bikini at all and b) it to be a bright golden yellow?? If you slow this fight scene way down, you will notice Yvonne's strikes actually come close to hitting Mimi as she has had a lot of training, whereas Mimi's strikes are miles from Yvonne and she just over-acts their impact. The most noticeable is the kick into her table, Sarah goes flying back, but we can tell from the angle, Carina missed her by a good 2 ft. This was just some sloppy editing and not getting the camera into position. I give it a pass because you have probably 3 camera operators wearing stabilized camera rigs trying to rotate around a room with 2 girls fighting and they just missed the angle by like 2 feet. I did really like at the end of the fight Carina had the option to go for the gun but instead went for the fish. If you didn't know they were not enemies before, this should have been a big clue! Carina calls Sarah's life in LA boring #1
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ACT I
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Carina aka: Maria Elena Argalberdi was born Jun 16, 1978 in Alberdi Argentina with a Buenos Aires passport. Maria Elena is actually the name of a famous song in Mexico and eventually had a movie. This Chuck learns on Flash #1 and is the precursor to meeting the general for the first time. I know I've mentioned this before, but to reiterate; the pictures in Casey's apartment are all wrong; he has photos of Chuck and Morgan that don't happen until season 5 (lost footage) he has a map of Echo Park and Malibu already on display, and he has tactical information for each member of the Buy More (which he has no reason for at this time). It is interesting they talk about an opium cartel in Afghanistan as Afghanistan is known for it's huge poppy fields for heroin drug money.
The NADAN-I-NOOR diamond:

• The Nadan-I-Noor diamond has never been known to be bought or sold and ha only changed owners as a result of theft, conquest, or endowment
• It's listed as having 57 facets + 16 facets on girdle = 73. A facet is comparable with the brilliance of a diamond and is really the flat surfaces of a gemstone arranged in a geometrical pattern. In this case it helps characterize the refraction of light through the diamond interior. The girdle i the outer edge of a diamond surface, having 16 faces is quite large, as the girdle is the largest section of a gem, but also the thinnest when viewed from the side. In this case, having 73 facets puts the Nadan-I-Noor in either the Princess-Cut Diamond or Radiant Cut Diamond category, which are also the most expensive as they have the most possible facets.
• having 4-fold, mirror-image symmetry refers to how the light reflects internally to the diamond and indicates there are no impurities within the crystalline structure.
• interestingly a purity rating is not given, i would expect something like a F or IF (flawless/internally flawless) for a diamond described like this, but one isn't provided.
• the angles of incidence just describe the best way for light to enterefract from the diamond, these numbers are fake, but the metric is real
• there is a lot of sanscript written around the diamond markings, I can't figure out what if anything it means it looks like repeated nonsense
• could be a nod to the Koh-i-noor or "mountain of light" diamond, although this one in Persian is the "fool of light".

We open back to see Carina and Sarah looking at classified files within the restaurant. THIS IS AGAINST THE LAW, you do not look at classified files out in the open and especially not where there are clearly other customers around. Venturing into the BuyMore, there is a monster truck rally on the TV's showing grave digger and reaper, two famous trucks from this time period. Morgan wants to spread his wings and be the fourth wheel to the perpetual 3 wheel party and Sarah, ever the schemer, literally glows when she thinks of the plan to have Carina go on a date with Morgan. I THINK this was just to help maintain their cover, but also maybe Sarah is just needling Carina? If you look in the back of the store when Chuck is talking to Sarah and Carina, there is a really cool Nerd Herd poster that says "Bringing peace to your computer emergency". "if a yawn could yawn" is Carina calling Sarah's job boring #2. One thing I really like with the double data is the way the camera jumps between the couples: boy/girl, boy/boy, girl/girl. I think they way they try and keep private conversations via screen time is a really nice, typical, teleplay trick that really works well here. In a "real" environment, everyone could hear everything, but by splitting the camera focus or playing with perspective, the viewer clearly knows "this is a conversation between girls the boys don't hear it". We see Chuck noticing Sarah picking off olives #2 while they watch a movie about penguins: who mate for life, present their love in the form of rocks, and are pack animals. In Chuck's bedroom as he talks to Morgan, Chuck has a box of King Edward Invincible underneath bongos; for those who don't know this is a famous box for mild tobacco cigars. So I wonder what Chuck is up to in his free time :P.
On the Nerd Herd call with Carina, she opens a bottle of wine with a butter knife. This is actually a pretty famous thing that is done all over the world with everything from a key to a saber. In fact they make a specially type of knife with an extra wide blade for this it Italy. I do want to ask the question; is Carina dressed in red lingerie (Chuck's favorite color she stole from Sarah) really necessary for this scene? I know that Carina is all about improvising and she often uses her sexuality to progress her cause (Casey), but I think we could have gotten away with just the top. I can certainly see the rationalization for going this far, but I think as an artistic choice it wasn't necessary. What IS necessary however is to talk about how Chuck's world implodes when Carina tells him about Sarah and Bryce. Also the perfect act transition ending right at Chuck's jaw dropping and the work boyfriend!
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ACT II
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I'll say it again, the back an forth with Chuck and Sarah should have been a medium close up, shoulder level straight on shot instead of the constant cuts. Seeing their reaction in real time would have been easier and it would have allowed the Weinerlicious to be maybe 15 ft smaller to not need so many cameramen rotating. "Unless talking to your boyfriend is a matter of national security, the ketchup bottles won't refill themselves". Why yes it IS a mater of national security for Sarah to talk to Chuck... also if any one of us stood up to our boss like Sarah did, I'm pretty sure we'd be fired on the spot!
Malibu is ~2hours for Echo Park with standard LA traffic. Seriously, how do girls in high heels walk down stairs; we see Carina and Sarah walking sideways so there is enough space on each step to fit their shoes. Girls, how do you do that and not fall especially with narrow staircases and 3-6inch heels! Inside the room with the stone there is a bust of Cesare, archenemies, da vinci, and biblical David. There is also some famous paintings the best of which is Vemieer's "young girl with a pearl earring" which is rather appropriate considering it's meaning. There is also a Van Gogh of man in a wheat field and a Monet in one shot too. If ANY of these paintings were real instead of reproductions, they would be worth millions, in fact the young girl with a pearl is estimated at 40million, which is 1.5x the sell value of the Nadan-I-Noor! If we take a look at the engineering drawing of Flash #2 on the pedestal, we would see this design creates a closed circuit around the tongs the diamond rests on; which might explain it's red hue. If a person were to touch the diamond, it would close the circuit on their body allowing the 4000volts to travel through their heart. A person can die with ~20volts, though it's usually more like 50 in most occurrences. 4000volts is enough to kill a herd of elephants and completely overkill for a person. Also the amount of power that would take is more than the city of Malibu... this is to say the trap is real, the numbers are complete nonsense; thinking lightning! Nice shot by Sarah with the plate (there are some great bloopers on this too where she misses badly)! A remote controlled jet ski... i'm not even going to calculate the nonsense for this; it's just total nonsense. Almost as much nonsense as Casey using his phone to track Carina's call. That would take minutes, even with today's technology to back trace like that and way more power than just pushing a button on a razer flip-phone from the 90's!
back at the house, Chuck i playing halo with the legendary skulls as his weapon; this is nice because in the BuyMore at the end of the episode there are dudes dressed as master chief! I really like the changing perspective here with Chuck and Morgan. Chuck's reactions remain in focus while Morgan tells a story behind him, then it switches as Chuck starts to move around until bringing both into focus for the final line "we still have each other and that's really sad". The side cut to Sarah picking locks to the hotel door is classic early 2000's TV and i'm all for it, even if it is super cheezy. BTW as someone who used to lock pick in college, that's .... not how that works, but good try. We get our Flash #3 on the diamond in Morgan's back nuclear explosions. I wonder if the refractive capability of a diamond this pure is enough to focus laser to induce fission or if the value of selling the diamond is enough to buy nuclear material on the black market? Either way, we end the act with... the man with the golden gun!
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ACT III
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Chuck uses Sarah's plate move against Carina, nice inter-episode call back; he's clearly watching/learning, but his aim is terrible. This was actually clever as Sarah has perfect aim for she is a professional, while Chuck is still definitely a civilian and has no aptitude for fighting. I really like both these types of simple call backs but also how seemingly throw-away lines/actions help tell the broad story of the show. Chuck talking to Carina also shows Chuck has this weird, innate aptitude to get people to re-evaluate themselves and grow internally. You can watch Carina "grow in real-time. When we get to the hotel and Carina opens her trunk first there are a few glocks, a couple rugers, and a 1911; then she switches to blades and we see some folders, some strait blades, an illegal gravity blade (still illegal today), and a kbar... nice selection! Carina, always the flirt, gives Chuck some very insightful works about the nature of being a spy, but also maybe some way to get through to Sarah.
Inside the hotel we see Carina and Sarah speaking; Carina is speaking Swedish, while Sarah replies in Polish. "Om jag slänger nycklarna till dig, kommer du tappa dem då?" which is Swedish for "If I throw you the keys, will you drop them?" Sarah answered in Polish: "Tylko jak rzucisz jak twoja mamusia", which means "Only if you throw it like your mommy". This is just great!
I want to talk about how fast Chuck managed to find an address for DC, print a label, open a box, put the label on, and get the diamond there all before the door gets broken. Somehow on screen time this is like 10seconds, but in real life this would have to be like 3minutes minimum? Either that door is remarkably strong or... TV magic??
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ACT IV
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Even with all the flirting, as we say goodbye to Carina >! for now !< she is still joking with Casey and every the professional. I like how they show when it's "game time" it's all about the job, but spys can be people too! Carina still calls Sarah's life boring #3 (the common trifecta of episode repeats).
Sarah's face when Chuck brings the pizza with no olives is the reason I think Yvonne makes the perfect Sarah. She exudes the hidden beauty needed and has the acting to so such emotion for Chuck being sweet. The whole scene with Chuck and Sarah asking questions, then Chuck backing off, then Sarah acting stoic like she WANTS to open up but doesn't know if she can really trust Chuck, is ready to move on from Bryce, and should for the nature of her job. This was probably the most well acted 20seconds of the entire episode. Finally, we hear Sarah's middle name is Lisa. Now we never officially know if Chuck hears this or not both due to camera focus and distance, it's never officially confirmed in the entire show. When the intersect is updated in season 4 we see Sarah's picture and it lists Lisa as a middle name, so we assume it's official, but it's never confirmed at any point. Finally, I really like how they end the episode with Sarah closing her eyes as the fade to black.
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Few notes: There are 5 official songs in this episode:

• "Yea Yeah" by Matt and Kim - when the gang is playing board games during group date night. This song is about not worrying about the things you cannot change. Little things that build up and bum you out that you need to just let go.
• "Wild Girl" Matt Pond PA - Chuck and Morgan discussing their relationship problems. This song is about overcoming past struggles and finding hope in the present and future. Describing a sense of resilience and optimism
• "weird science" by does it offend you - Chuck and Carina talk at Peyman' Malibu Compound. This is a remind to break free and embrace individuality and live on your own terms. Be unapologetically ourselves.
• Shy by Mathew Dear - the double date
• "Fall into place" the apartment - the team say's goodby to Carina. Deals with growing up, taking (or not taking) chances. finding oneself in the unpredictability of life. I have to say, we don't actually hear the lyrics to any of these songs during the episode just the melody, but I don't really appreciate the music choices here. I feel like there were better options at key points, so that's a miss from me.
  
• On the DVD for Season One the word Wookiee is spelled incorrectly, leaving off the last E.
  
• "It used to be titled "Chuck Versus the Speedo" because the main bad guy in this show is this dude who wears a Speedo all the time. Then when the casting guy realized he had a good amount -- and by good, I mean healthy, a healthy amount of body hair -- they thought, why not call it "Chuck vs. the Wookiee". So it's this guy who's got this diamond, and we're trying to heist the diamond and all hell breaks loose." ―Zachary Levi quoted by Access Hollywood discussing this episode's title
  

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I think this was a great episode and really showcased what they can do when additional cast members join the team and when they are not afraid to play with perspective. Mimi as Carina is a great addition to the ensemble and I wish we saw her more, but every time she drops in, it's always a wild episode and it's fantastic. Watching Chuck learn about Sarah and seeing Sarah start to open up is a good way forward and heck Casey had some of the best humor in the episode. Overall, it was fast paced, had some nice character development, as funny in the best way, and moved the main theme along, 8/10.

Hello loves x I have had multiple encounters with men as a teenager, that people tell me are no big deal just because I wasn't raped. Just hoping somebody can help me classify whatever this is x And sorry if this doesn't make much sense, I'm not very good at talking about this x
When I was about thirteen, I was sat in the back of a classroom next to another kid that I'll call James. James would always make creepy comments towards me and many other girls, just about how short the skirts were or constantly wanting hugs from them. I'm sat next to him this one day, with my hand on my leg, and I feel something brush against me. And James is trying to hold my hand under the table, so I immediately move it away. But his hand doesn't move, he just puts it on my thigh instead. I suffer with severe anxiety by the way, so in any moment of stress or panic, I freeze instantly. I can't move, and throughout the lesson, James is putting his hand further up my thigh, and inwards, luckily the lesson ended before anything else happened, and I dread to think what he would have tried.
Another guy, I dated when we were both 13, and he would always make comments about how see-through young girl's trousers would be, or how low cut their tops were. He would constantly shout at me when I wore anything even relatively revealing, and would threaten to rape me if I didn't listen to him. Or that he would kill himself if I left him, and that he needs me. I genuinely believed him when he threatened to assault me, he was not sane.
Guy number three was when I was 13 to 15. He would come up to me everyday in school and tell me how hot I looked, and he would get his four main guy friends to do the same. Whenever we had Sex Ed lessons, he'd try and sit with me and would wink at me. And he said he found the thought of asking for consent embarrassing. One day, a friend added me to a group chat with a lot of numbers that I didn't have saved, and I asked who they were, and this friend just said they were different school friends.
Believing them, I deciding to put a funny picture of myself onto this group. I then had Guy 3 privately message me and tell me that he was going to masturbate to it, and that I was so hot.
Will someone please tell me what any of this actually classes as? X thanks x

TL;DR My boyfriend has pictures of his exes on Facebook but never posted one of me and I’m his longest relationship. Is it fair to expect he posts me?

My boyfriend and I have been together for over four years, and I have a few issues with his lack of commitment. I could go into details, but it’s all more complicated than what I’d like to put here. Over our last argument, however, I told him that I dislike that he has never posted about me on social media (Facebook). No picture, no words, nothing.
I am listed as his girlfriend on Facebook, which he didn’t agree to until we moved in together and that’s fine. We are also getting older and he does post less on social media over all, he might post a handful (maybe once every other month) of things over a year. But he does post things. Either pictures of the pets, sharing articles, sharing his family’s posts or mine. We are very close, we’ve lived together for three years and moved across the country together. We have met all of our core families together and spent weeks collectively at his parents’ house. His parents have posted about me on their facebooks (visiting restaurants or similar), but he himself hasn’t ever mentioned me or posted anything about me. No anniversary post, no vacation post together (he’ll post about the vacation and not mention me), no birthday post (though my birthday is marked private as I don’t like the obligated wall spam but I do enjoy the special and unique posts from fam or close friends). I post pictures with him or of him frequently, maybe once a month or every other month. I am also the photographer between the two of us, but he still takes and posts plenty of pictures.
He did use to post about his past serious relationships, and he still has those photos up and public. We are both each other’s longest relationship at over four years, but he has more than two dozen photos of each of his old girlfriends on his Facebook. He also still has a few heartfelt posts up with the photos of these women.
So he has never posted anything about me or a picture of me or us. He said it’s not his thing, and then deflects that he “never posts anything anymore.” When I told him it bothered me, his reply is that he doesn’t understand it and we can agree to disagree.
Is it silly of me to be hurt by this? I know social media is stupid and ultimately it doesn’t matter, but it feels like a deeper betrayal to me. Is he ashamed of me? Does he think I’m ugly? Obviously he says no, but I still cannot understand. Ultimately, it feels like he has no plans to seriously commit to me in any way. He is a huge part of my life and I’m a huge part of his. I know he isn’t being unfaithful in anyway or anything like that, I do trust him. It just hurts that he doesn’t want to show me off or include me in his life to his friends. He still is active on Facebook and follows plenty of others, why wouldn’t he want to include me in that? I don’t know. Am I being silly? Am I rightfully upset? Should I insist he take down the old photos and heartfelt posts about his exes if he doesn’t want to make any post about me? I don’t like insisting on something like that, but I’m just having a hard time understanding how he doesn’t get that it’s hurtful.
Also, for more context:
He doesn’t want to get married and I do, but I have told him I’m happy to wait up to 50 years for him to be ready. I don’t pressure him, but I have sent him some rings once about a year or a year and a half ago. We are both child free and plan to stay that way. We have pets together. We want to travel the world together and have already had a few awesome trips. He is very committed in the here and now and in travel plans, but it’s hard for him to look long term—like 10 plus years. Sometimes he can easily joke about us retiring in Vietnam but he doesn’t like the idea of opening a shared savings account. He’s financially smarter than me and has a master’s degree that he’s using, but I’m not doing bad for myself and pay my half of the bills. We agree on virtually everything politically and everything important to us, and we can talk for days and never run out of things to say. He is passionate, loud, and goofy. I love him more than I ever actually thought possible, and I had really given up on “true love” or any concept before him. I can’t imagine my life without him. He says he feels the same, but it hurts when he’s less willing to do any serious commitments.

TL;DR: My husband and I have a rocky relationship with MIL, she doesn’t know I’m pregnant but she’s offering to stay with us for two weeks to help care for my step daughter while we have her long term in the summer. There’s no way I could hide my pregnancy when she comes because I will be nearing 18 weeks. She’s going to be so upset and I don’t know how to tell her that I didn’t want to tell her because I know she will run to my husband’s ex girlfriend with the information and that makes me uncomfortable.
I’m gonna start this off by saying I don’t have a great relationship with my mother in law. She’s not nice to me and she prefers my husband’s ex, (The mother of his first child) and gets irritated with me for every little thing like, not sending her pictures of my step child, not keeping in touch with her, not agreeing with her when she tells my husband he’s wrong or when she wallows in self pity about her broken relationship with my husband.. Her relationship with my husband is weird because she basically abandoned my husband at the age of 5 and left him with his dad who was very physically and emotionally abusive. She came back when he was 10 because she found out even if she abandoned him she’d still have to pay child support or get arrested. 🙄 he spent time with her because even though she did dugs and her new husband was a loser, he wasn’t being physically abused or left in cars while his dad went to bars. He left the house at 18 and hasn’t looked back. ANYWAY. I don’t trust her, and I don’t speak to her on a consistent basis because she is very close to my husbands ex girlfriend and any time we tell her anything, my husbands ex all of a sudden knows the information and it’s no longer private. This is how she found out we moved, how she found out we got married.. (we let the court know as we were legally required to, but we meet her at the police station for pick up and drop off) how she found out about us taking my step daughter to the doctor because we were concerned about some things we noticed when she would come over (we provide insurance) and it just makes me wonder how much she actually talks about us behind our back to his ex and it makes me super uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable because my husband’s ex girlfriend cheated on him for the last year of their relationship and he found out through some coworkers, plus she was pregnant with new guys baby. Instead of letting my husband care for their child, she moved their child in with her parents house while she lived in a different house with her boyfriend and new child, and threatened him with kidnapping charges if he took his child. Court forced her to either be responsible for her child, or move in with her parents. So thankfully that issue isn’t an issue anymore. ANYWAYY. I’m currently pregnant, and we have not told my MIL or my step daughter. This is our first child together and I’m not in the mood to be stressed. My MIL is now calling/texting us about coming to our apartment (us traveling over 100 miles to pick her up, and then take her back home because MIL has no vehicle) and staying with us to help watch my step daughter for the month we have her. This would mean us spending a lot of time together, as she wants to stay 2 weeks. By the time she comes to visit, I will be nearing 18 weeks so there’s no chance that I’ll be able to hide it. She will be pissed that she wasn’t in the loop, and I don’t have the energy to even try and sit her down to explain to her why it’s my choice regardless on who I tell and why.
So now I’m stressed. And I don’t know what to do.

Hi there. I just joined this community but really looking for your thoughts as I obviously can’t talk with friends about this and I’m going crazy!!!
My boyfriend (m31) and I (f29) have been together for almost 8 years now. We’re not married but have lived together for 6 years now.
Last year, just before I left on a three week trip with some friends, he was acting suspicious (can’t explain how - it was really more like a gut feeling!!) and I decided to go through his phone… where I found an app he was using to chat with “strangers”, sent them sexual pictures and asked them stuff like if they would use x and y sex toy.
I of course freaked out, as he’s normally a very quiet and calm person that doesn’t even go out much (whereas I do a lot) and up to that point I would have never suspected him to do anything even remotely like that.
When I confronted him about it, he broke down in tears and told me he was feeling emotionally neglected, so he thought he would try that… but that it was never his intention to meet up with anyone or cheat on me.
It’s been hard to trust him again but I decided to believe him then and we’ve even been in therapy and I had been really feeling better in terms of our relationship, even pushing to get married.
And then… last weekend he started acting suspicious again (my gut feeling sucks!!!). And again, it was while I was going on a trip for a couple of days…
I didn’t think much of it but then when I came back I was still feeling uneasy and decided to go through his emails, which of course, is where I found he had ordered and picked up some sex toys while I was away.
It wasn’t for us. He ordered some body stockings (XL size - and I’m M), an anal plug (he has expressed before he’s not into this), a dildo (ok this one could be for us) and lube. Nosey as I am, of course I couldn’t find any of this hidden in our place.
This time, rather than hunting down a moment to check his phone, I decided to confront him. I thought this would be “healthier” and see if we could work through it together.
He told me that he never cheated on me or used the stuff on someone else, that he wanted to satisfy his own curiosity, use the things to pleasure himself and use the time I was way to do so privately. And also, that he had thrown out the stuff he bought as he was afraid I would be suspicious if I saw he had all this stuff (which he’s right).
And now here’s the thing. This is the second time I decide to believe him. And it is a choice. Because if I really think about it, how suspicious is it that he was taking to strangers in a sexual way right before I left on a three week trip? And now how suspicious is it he bought sex clothing and toys while I was away and he threw them away after using them on himself?
And I can’t get it out of my head now. We both work from home so there’s never really a moment we’re alone, there’s just no way he can be seeing someone without me knowing. So I keep going back and thinking that maybe he’s hiring someone?
Or maybe I’m just overthinking and this is really just him being sexually curious? But what if this is just things that I’ve caught him with… and there’s really been other things?
If you read all of that first of all I thank you… but now I ask you, how would you know if you’re being lied to, and that maybe there’s more to the story? And how could you rebuild trust if at all possible? I’m scared to go away again now.
Am I overthinking too much, or maybe I’m just being very naive (in other words, stupid)?? :(

My mother in law is here for a visit and while my (32f) husband (32m) was running an errand, I asked her why she and his dad divorced. They bought a house right before the recession and I always chalked it up to the stress of that tore them apart but what she told me was actually insane.
This is a long one.
She goes, “well it was a lot of things and secrets that were kept from me, including the weird fetishes”. I jokingly replied, “oh ahaha you mean butt stuff?” She said, “well that and the women’s clothing”
She goes on to tell me this story:
The night before their wedding, they were getting intimate. She reached down and felt lacy women’s underwear. She was shocked and asked wtf was going on because she thought it was a joke. They had been together a while and this had never happened before. He just replied that he thought it might turn her on and that was it.
Flash forward to my husband in grade school working on a school project. He needed to print stuff and my MIL took out the family laptop. When she opened it, she found pictures of naked women sprawled out on hotel beds. When FIL got home, she questioned him about it and he said it was just a joke, he had gone to a conference and his buddies and him did it as a joke. She obviously didn’t believe him but they had just poured their lifesavings into this house.
Not too long after that, she was cleaning their bedroom closest when she found a box that she didn’t recognize. In that box was pictures of FIL in women’s clothing, including some pictures of him in her cloths. She confronted him about it and he said it would never happen again.
Come to find out that my SIL AND BIL stumbled upon him in women’s clothing in their backyard one morning and said “we don’t have to tell mommy about this right?”. And they didn’t until they were teenagers.
Throughout this time period, she would see him at the kroger out by the dumpsters throwing things away. Additionally, he had a burner phone. She never went dumpster diving but when she tried to talk to him about it things would get violent. This escalated to him leaving the house for prolonged time periods, including overnights. She had to tell him multiple times that she didn’t care what he did but he couldn’t just walk out of his kids life’s.
Her friend and her husband were close with them and the husband and FIL got together one day so he could talk to him in private. He told him, “I just don’t want responsibility anymore”. Upset and needing a distraction, my MIL took her and the kids on a trip to California with family.
When she got home, all the trash had been taken out except for a single piece of paper with a schedule on it. A day plan for what she assumed was a date.
They had a joint bank account, so she checked it. It was completely empty. He had been using their joint debt card to take women on dates. Once she found this out, she demanded that he give her the debit card and get his own bank account. When he refused, she took the family laptop and he flipped out. Fearing this, she ran into the neighbors house with the kids and the phone.
Not long after this they got a divorce. He didn’t want hardly any custody of the kids and she had to convince him to at least do a weekend once a month.
He later remarried and exactly 5 years later got a divorce. A similar cheating situation. She found him sending emails about how he didn’t want to go home to his then wife.
Now he’s about to marry someone younger than my husband and I’s age. Meaning, I’ve dated men older than her. FIL has recently become very demanding of my husband in regards to the wedding. A destination wedding that is around a 3 day trip driving. He demands that we go to with our 12 year old son and pay our own way to. His current finance has a superiority complex over us despite being younger than our age. There’s is a disturbing amount of PDA and I think she contributes to the agression that he recently had been showing with my husband. We’re at the point where family (including MIL) is calling and texting us about how heart broken FIL will be if his son isn’t at the wedding. Trying to guilt us into it, even though my husband doesn’t want to go and we frankly can’t afford it as I was just laid off and we have a mortgage.
This is his 4th wedding He insists we stay in the after party house with our child and strangers but I can’t even trust him.
No one is concerned that he might have more kids in his old age. No one is concerned about the trauma my husband was put through and no one sees the corolation to maybe why he doesn’t want to go to the wedding.
I’m not sure if his fiancée is aware of the cross dressing.
I don’t think it’s my place to tell my husband any of this but I feel like he should maybe know why I don’t ever want our son spending the night around him. It’s not just the women’s clothing but the secrets that he kept and the fact that we arnt sure if there is more that he’s hiding.
Edit: changed some details to make this a little more ambiguous since my in laws are on Reddit.

Hello - such a sad reason to post here..
My BF and I have been dating for a long time and he is the only man I have ever known.
I've always known he was a very avoidant person and he prefers to run away and disappear when faced with any issues he doesn't really want to deal with. In fact, he has dumped me before for that same reason and we were broken for more than a year. He said he regretted it and never stopped loving/missing me. So we got back together because I also never stopped loving him.
With that said... we have had a rocky relationship. Between his avoidant personality, my anxious personality, and our long history of rocky things like few borderline infidelity issues (him, not me), and both of us struggling in life (career-wise) that made us both not the happiest individual.
I take full accountability that for the past 6 months to maybe even a year, I have been so so unhappy with myself that I only realized a week ago that I felt like I have been treating my partner unfairly. I held him to such high expectations and expected him to change and almost solve all my problems, when I really wasn't being introspective enough. I know it sounds like I'm blaming myself because I love him, and I'm sure a part of that is true.
Anyway, his family lives out of country and rarely visits, so this visit was a big deal (for me). I wanted to make a great impression because I love him and therefore his family is very important to me. And I always had a suspicion they weren't too fond of me (yes, that may be 100% my insecurity). But then while he was away from me but with his parents, we had a big fight. It started with the joke of I think you're the lucky one in the relationship, no you are, etc. leading to him basically not admitting but also not denying that he thinks he is the "better" one in the relationship.
So I got upset. I became reactive. He told me he had to get off the phone and sleep but I insisted that he answer me when I ask "do you really think you're better and that I should be so lucky to be with you?" After I relentlessly repeated that question to him, he raised his voice to say that my insecurities are my problems and none of his business. Ouch. It hurt and I was stunned. So while I was speechless, he said "while you think, I'm gonna go" and hung up on me.
I was so upset, angry, and honestly feeling petty. So much resentment towards him. So I didn't reach out to him. Neither did he.
But during my time away, I did a lot of thinking and worked on myself. Read a book that changed my perspective. I felt like the bad seed in the relationship. It clicked in my head that I'm the one that mainly strained our relationship. I asked for too much without giving myself - like owning up to my own issues and wanting to change myself before demanding change from others. Now I know you can never change anyone else but yourself.
So when he returned from his trip along with his family, I asked him to have a conversation with me in person. I apologized, tearfully read him my letter on my recent enlightenment, and asked if he was considering breaking up with me, which I feared.
He said yes to wanting to dump me. Turns out, during the week that he was with his family, he decided to dump all the issues to his entire family. He denies that he "badmouthed" me, but I think he did something worse.. He told his family that I don't make him happy and that we are simply incompatible. Told them stories about how I pushed his buttons, portraying me in a very negative (and insane) light without giving full context of each situation. Mind you, I pretty much have never met his family. So they know nothing about me, my personality, and anything, for that matter, except from his perspective or whatever he decided/decides to share. Or even this relationship. He told me all the plans have been cancelled (for me) and that his family does not wish to see me. I begged for another chance and that I messed up. After a few hours, he came around and told me that he loved me and to tell him that he's not making the "biggest mistake of his life" by giving me another chance. I of course said that this is the right decision. He even got very intimate with me. I felt like my life was going to come around and that I can do everything better (but obviously not overnight).
The very next morning, he texted me his family doesn't want to see me. They stated that we "can" still date, but they have their own feelings (I think that was a nice way to say that they hate me). I got upset. My fear of rejection and abandonment kicked in. Went into my pattern again to become reactive/impulsive and told him that it isn't fair for them to say that his entire unhappiness is due to me and me only. He has had a tough time with his own careelife that has been making him sad and depressed. That's when he said that that's not true and that I really was the only thing that has been on his mind, making him miserable. Then he said this is exactly what he didn't want to deal with and that we're done.
When I asked to talk on the phone, he called me and said that he no longer believes that I can change and that his family now never wants to do anything with me ever. I was shocked that he was so quick in relaying my reaction to his family. He has never been this tight-knit with his family, so this was all new to me. He said some things that felt like wasn't his words. I felt like his family was manipulating him. I may be wrong and in denial, but I'd like to think that after about a decade, I'm used to the way he talks/thinks from time to time. Also, he said that he "loved" me. Past tense.
So he hangs up on me while I cried his name over and over, after saying that he will only meet me after his business trip (because I asked to please meet in person to talk further while apologizing profusely) and in a public place only, which is about a week. The public place part was what confused me. What was I going to do - endanger him? I have never.. I felt like he was asking for that because maybe he is scared that I may be able to convince him in a private space? This is the part that felt like wasn't his word choice.
I left him a lengthy text apologizing to him and his entire family and that I will not try to justify my behavior as it was wrong of me to act so rashly, especially after promising to change. But that I would like for him to please give this relationship a fair chance as I really do believe we can be very happy together, in a healthy relationship.
That day, I was extremely busy with a packed schedule. After I sent that message, I was running around everywhere. He knew my schedule exactly. He knew exactly when I'd be out of the house and when I'd be back.
Right before my last thing, I get a very cold text response from him saying that he believes I'll reach my career goal, that I have people around me who love me, and that he did read the entire text I sent. And that he'd be "happy to chat" when he's back.
Honestly even before that, I had a suspicion but I simply wasn't able to get home due to my obligations.
I literally ran and sped to get home when I could. I think a part of me died when I did. Everything was gone. All of him. He obviously left some stuff behind as he probably moved within a span of a couple hours, but he did a very thorough job. I was impressed and depressed at the same time. I couldn't stop crying. I had been crying for the entire day and more. Everything. was. gone.
It took so much for me to not reach out and/or react. I was beyond heartbroken. The worst part? I still wanted him so badly. It has been 2 days since this happened and I'm still broken. I haven't eaten for the past 3 days and I can't sleep. I can't stop crying. I keep reading his last text. I told him I'd give him space and I want to honor that, which means I can't do anything right now.
I keep wondering where his stuff is now and where he'll be staying, hoping that he's not burdened and hurting like I am. I'm beyond devastated. My support system is, as expected, completely and utterly shocked and disgusted by this situation (and him). And I actually don't even have any support system near me. They're all far away. I know how it looks. But I would be lying if I said I didn't want him back still. He was and is a wonderful man, despite this ugly goodbye.
I don't know when he'll reach out to have our conversation, but I'm still lost on how to take that.
At first, I was willing to beg him on my knees with tears dripping nonstop. Then I decided to start writing a long letter. Then I decided to make a list of business we have to take care of to go our separate ways. Then I always looped back to the fact that I just want to love him and be with him. I know I sound so incredibly pathetic, but I wish I can get a do-over to show him that I can be so good and that we can be so extremely happy together. I keep wishing I can turn back time and how cruel it is for time to pass this slowly. I blame myself a lot, while acknowledging that the end of this relationship is due to more than just my issues.
I guess I wanted to just get this off my chest.. sorry for the long post. I'll probably delete it after a few days...
I hope things get better and I get a clearer picture of what to do about our conversation. I love him so much and I wish that he still does too...
Also- I read some similar posts so to get ahead of some comments, I did reach out to my therapist and yes I do have a lot to work through. Not only digesting this situation, but also my self-work.
Thank you to everyone who made it this far..

We live in a world where the internet is another living culture and it's currently in the 70's ugh.
Everyone keeps their doors unlocked, invites strangers, loves peace and social harmony, but there's killers and pedos everywheeere.
The pedos will gaslight you with the same familiar tactics--rush to the telegram app, reddit, and other means to make money off the images you post on tiktok of your niece or kids.
Beware any "😭😭😭"
https://imgur.com/a/BNw0sbH
They happen to subreddits
https://imgur.com/a/TvHD4Ks
They are potentially subtley exposing themselves in broad daylight on tiktok trends.
People--STOP pressuring others SO significantly about Gaza and Rafah when the home inside you, our country, AND THE VEHICLE TO SPREAD INFORMATION ABOUT THESE HURT PEOPLE IS BROKEN.
Flooded with garbage. Virtue signaling, "like for jesus" tactics, beware propaganda meant to usher you into group think and isolation from the people around you. Beware the people from our country and other countries who recognize that inciting growth, movement, outrage, and more doesn't lie in television anymore.
Here we see a migration from the bought news anchor archetypes who play a character, to the characters themselves popping up on your FYP. Be very careful and fact check. Be safe and Mindful.
Work hard to keep you online anonymity safe and healthy and other people's anonymity safe and healthy too. These dangerous persona's have become a piece of life and internet culture and so they need healing too.
We need to re-educate the people en masse on how to be safe on the internet.
Ask the rich, ask the celebrities--they have enough money, transportation, and housing to save all these people and give them the refuge the people need.
They can do something good with all the pollution they add with their private jets then.
Stop spreading noise on tiktok and send it to them instead--tell them that students and citizens should be worrying about the future which the rich already have laid in the stones of Hollywood walk of fame.
Our world is hurting and we all have to bear responsibility. The students must learn, the citizens must work and pray and innovate, the rich need to stop making more money and instead make more change. Their eternity can be the change they make and not the ghost art, business, and music they leave behind.
People do not control who is rich and especially who is famous
Celebrities are often tools and faces for what others want
Think of the actors/actresses that had to do the impossible to escape scientology, cults, media, being on display 24/7,
The want to be famous is often a curse as no one will tell you what you are getting into
I kind of relate in a way
And if you wonder "why do they come back?"
The easy answer is it's like returning to an abuser
...The grass is greener and maybe I miss my ex...I don't want to be forgotten...
And they know that just because they are here now doesn't mean they will ever be remembered
They get scared as other celebrities start to pass away...they get scared of age and change and it means their things are too old, corrupt, or they realize that more and more is drowning their name away
They get scared that one day people will say "____ died? Who the hell is that?"
And once they're gone--people won't even say it anymore because there's no name to remember
Times and tech will change
I don't know many dead actors and actresses
And they already are almost fame dead--the world is trying hard to leave them behind
It started with YouTube--which wasn't much of a threat
Until millenials became cable cutters and encouraged their family to do the same--so companies began lumping TV into prices so you were forced NOT to drop TV
Vine came on and we had now three celebs
Content creators, viners, and traditional celebs
It was a new realization that YouTube could be topped
Insta wasn't much at the time--it was just picture FB--and more geared to photography not influencers (it began AS a photography app but students used it differently)
Vine died and went to YouTube--youtube didn't like Vine--celebs felt threatened and demeaned YouTube creators
It created a brief disconnect
But eventually celebs grabbed ahold again as new blood grew up (child stars--zendaya, chalamet, whatever)
And it may happen again--if you want to stop it--you cannot let more "flowers" grow
So child stars need to be set free--not plucked
Not ostracized or demonized--any under 20 shouldn't be held accountable
The second disconnect happened with covid
Our celebs in disasters are usually like bards--giving song and acts and art as support--generosity and vows to immortalize our lives and struggles
And we in turn hold them in our hearts too and give them stories to hear and remember their name, give them support
But when they no longer have that connection they lose their use and purpose
They become vile--an evil bard steals your story, your song, your money, your time, your life
With covid there was so much politically--everyone was exhausted
There was a bit of a rallying cry from them to keep our spirits up
But when they became adverts and politically involved it seemed it dropped--covid was almost like wearing a band on you in our country
"mask" and "maskless" became "liberal" and "conservative"
Everyone fell prey to it and I remember how shocking it was morally to our systems
Because it WAS important--people were going to die--but also such an outward display of politics really hit morale
Like nazi Germany
And it happened to celebrities
Soon no one cared about movie theaters
We realized how little it mattered to see movies there
And money makers were maaad
They tried making some poor celebrities tell us that we were "heroes" for paying over 20 to get motion sickness and a headache in a theater
A house divided against itself cannot stand but in light of these issues
Sometimes it takes an attack on individualism to fortify us better
We already have lived through our etiquette eras many times
Regardless of what comes out of this silly little idea of "turning points" the world will always surprise you
The second you define it something new comes to life--in an ever growing universe how can you expect anything less than to be constantly proven wrong?
Or to have every pattern broken
We are still so primitive
Celebrities are wasting so much and have forgotten their own identities
They need to reconnect with the populace or risk being left behind
But
The other day I made it to kohl's and other places
I looked around and realized--there is so much GARBAGE and WASTE in our own stores and backyards and streets
It needs weeding
A whole store full of junk--useless bags and purses and clothing
And SO much of it
It serves barely any purpose and it barely even lasts
And takes up so much space and energy
Marie Kondo that shit
Looking at it is exhausting and creates choice fatigue it's visually garbage too and affects the mind
We ALL need to reconnect with our homes, ourselves, our cultures, and our emerging cultures.
Climate change, feminism, internet safety, celebrated individuals, the objects we wear and innovate, the waste we produce, the morality and ethics we need.
Do what you can--don't belittle other people for what they cannot provide, not everyone has the mental energy for every topic and injustice.
But it feels like theirs a gap in the people that are sharing the load, and those who have "escaped" only to fall under a new set of burdens.
There has to be a way to reconnect again?

Dracula: World of War --- The Violet Reaper ---- Humans Don’t Make Good Familiars Book 1 ---- The Lonely World --- Discord ---- YouTube --- My Patreon --- My Author's Page --- ArcAngel98 Wiki ---- The Next Best Hero ---- HDMGF Book 2 ---- Jess and Blinx: The Wizard ---- The Questing Parties ---- Zombies ---- Previous
Jake’s POV
One more, rather intense, sparing session later, and I was back in Suma and Luna’s room. I was being treated for the injuries I’d received during the third round. It was a simple place. Stone walls, those glowing braids sewn into the walls and hanging from the ceiling. The furniture, if you call it that, were just metal and wooden bars and poles placed around the room. In the corner of the room were two boxes, with drapes hanging over the only opening, and a cushion made of animal pelts to sleep in. Lying on the floor, Suma was standing at my side, casting healing spells.
“Jake, these injures are terrible! What happened?” Suma asked. Luna was out with Ciel and his son at the moment, getting seeds and other things from the local market.
“I ran out of mana in the third round of training, and got hit by easily thirty spells in less than ten seconds; from all sides.” I groaned, wincing in pain with every other breath.
“Well, after training with the Royal Mages, I suppose I cannot be surprised that you were injured. How did your other teammates fair?”
“No, it was just me versus them.” I said. Suma gasped snorted in shock.
“W-what?! Then it is no wonder you were injured so badly! Why did they not stop after the first round if they were not going to at least heal you?”
“I wasn’t hurt until the end of the third round. Actually, they ended it because I was injured. They had healers there, but I wanted you to heal me instead since you know-” I coughed hard, feeling my chest rattle and bringing my hand to cover my mouth as I did. Pulling it away, I saw some blood and a cold chill ran straight down my spine and into my stomach. “Oh, that’s probably not good.” Suma immediately fluttered over to my chest, and started another healing spell.
“Never before have I been so grateful for all those confusing lessons on your people’s anatomy.” She said in a frustrated huff.
“Just wish I could have made it through that final round. If I hadn’t run out of mana, my magnetic barrier spell would have stayed up.”
“Jake, it is nothing short of a miracle that you lasted one round, let alone two. And alone no less!”
“You know I won those first two rounds.” I said, smugly.
“You have a head injury, Jake.” Suma said, unfazed. “Once you have stopped spitting up blood, I will treat that too.”
“No, really!” I protested. “And I think I could have won the third one too.”
“If they had not pelted you relentlessly with attack spells?” Suma asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Exactly.” Reaching a hand into my pocket, I pulled out a small wooden plank, engraved with runic symbols and the Queen’s seal, and showed it to Suma. “Got this though.”
“Oh, a Rune-Maker’s permit?”
“Yup. Totally worth it.” I said, just before my toe suddenly popped back into place, sending a sharp and stabbing pain through my entire foot. “AHH! Son of a… ow!”
“That was the last of your injuries. Please, in the future, if you plan on breaking every bone in your body again… change your plans.”
“It wasn’t every bone.”
“But it was quite a lot of them.” She shook her head, probably annoyed. “What are your plans now that you have your license?”
“Nothing immediately, but when we get back to Zach-Ashem, it’ll help with my work with Sela-Car.”
“And what about for the rest of the day? Not another sparring session, I hope?”
“No, but I wish it were.” I said, suddenly feeling anxious. “It’s time.”
“For?”
“To learn how to heal myself.” Holding up my missing hand, she suddenly realized what I meant.
“Ah, do you want me to stay with you while you do?” Suma asked, trying to be gentle, but I’m sure she was still nervous after what happened in the desert. She was no more excited about this than I was.
“Yeah, that…” A deep guttural sigh escaped my lip, almost without me even noticing. “That’d be nice.”
Lying down on the floor, Suma by my head for moral support, it was time to delve into Deyja’s memories. Falling into darkness, I felt that haze wash over my whole body. Searching for information about how he healed himself, despite famously having Death-Mage, I opened the first memory I found. Slowly, everything came into focus as the memory took shape. The first thing I noticed was how high up I was; Deyja was tall. On my, or rather his, left, stood Ashem, who looked different from the last time I saw a memory with him in it. He looked younger, smaller. Both were in a field of rolling hills, surrounded by flowers; some of which came up to their knees. He was using magic to create illusions, and they both were watching them.
“Let us begin our lesson.” Ashem said, his voice rolling like thunder, even despite his youth.
“Thank you again, my friend. I have been wanting to learn to dual-cast for a century now, but have had little time while managing my sections of the project.”
“It is my pleasure, Deyja. I know how hard you have been working with the Neame, and am more than happy to help.” The illusions began to take shape, however it was not pictures, but words written in a language I did not know, floating in the air.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Queen Ompera’s POV
“Leave us.” I ordered my staff. “Svend and I must have a private conversation regarding important matters of state.” Immediately, they all left my private chamber, leaving myself and Svend alone; finally. We laid down in my roost, my head resting on his wing. It had been a long day, full of boring military and diplomatic talks and meetings. All I wanted now was to rest and enjoy my time with him alone.
“Important matters of state? I am certain they all know the truth by this point. Why bother keeping it secret from them further, Ompera?”
“Those gossips would tell our whole kingdom if I ever actually confirmed anything. Let them keep whispering rumors quietly.” I told him, closing my eyes and relaxing.
“Did anything interesting happen today?” Svend asked.
“The campaign to push out the Union from Island of Sangu has officially started. Forces left today, prepared to use Tactical-Scale magic. Evacuations will begin immediately. But I do not want to talk about that.” I told him.
“Okay, then what about the Viking familiar. You went and watched his training today, yes? What did you think?”
I stopped for a moment, unsure how to answer. “He terrifies me.”
“Someone is scary enough to frighten you? He must be quite the intimidating fellow then.” Svend joked.
“Never once in my life have I met someone with so much mana, and such complex and powerful spells. When I requested the General to test him under the guise of training the Royal Mages, I knew what to expect somewhat. I’ve used my Mana Gaze on him before, but I have never seen his complex spells in use until today.” Images of the training flashed into my mind.
“What did he look like?”
“The sheer amount of mana that the spell he used to protect himself with was staggering. It would burn through the entire mana reservoir of the Royal Mages in less than a minute. Yet he sustained it for almost ten minutes. Maybe longer. It looked like wave after wave of mana was just devoured by the air itself. Mana flickered in the air like lightning. Regarding complexity, the only thing I have ever seen even come close to it was Ritual-Magic, and Tactical-Scale magic. But none of that was what truly frightened me.”
“Then what?” Svend asked, listening intently. Clearly uneasy with my descriptions.
“He won.”
“His team won?”
“He fought alone, and still overwhelmed an entire attack squadron of Royal Mages, twice. He was only defeated because he ran out of mana; sacrificed to that monstrous spell. And even when he was finally hit by attack magic, he suffered minimal injuries; until all of the remaining mages seized the opportunity to attack him all at once. But still he refused healing, preferring to have his master heal him instead. Despite how severe his wounds were, he was able to contact his master and left without complaint after receiving his permit.”
“Is this true?” Svend asked, then after a moment of silence he had another question. “Permit?”
“He went through all of that just so that I would issue him a Rune-Crafter’s permit.”
“So, he is insane?”
“Perhaps… But still, to use spells so advanced that they outclassed rituals, and were more powerful defenses that most of the spells used by the dragons; if the records are accurate that is.” I said, suddenly very sure that asking him to go to the islands was the correct choice. “His Drake Squadron should arrive tomorrow. I look forward to seeing the results of his mission.”

IHave
AFRO :

• Notre Dame - Citizen 99
• Headson - Bensy
• Guapo & Peaty - 6pm In Casablanca
• Enoo Napa feat. Priscilla - Shadows
• Anton Khabbaz & Dylan Lee - DiDi
• Prada (David Mackay & Marcus Santoro Remix)
• Caiiro - Son Of Mar
• Anyma - Pictures Of You (FromParis Remix)
• Location (DARREN & JOSEPH Remix)
• Roy Rosenfeld & Sébastien Léger - Panko Day {Played by Keinemusik}
• Sparrow & Barbossa - Miracle (Voice Mix)
• Perreo - Quentro & Tuna, Kuntay
• Merzzy - Istanbul
• Jamek Ortega - Voices
• Daughter of the Sun (Ankhoï Remix)
• Angéle - Taxi (Ankhoï Remix)
• Ankhoï - Sandiya
• Ankhoï - Clound
• Ankhoï - No sleep
• Ankhoï - Corazon
• Ankhoï - After All Night Shift
• Ankhoï - Another Hallelujah (Mont Rouge Private Edit)
• Uncle Waffles - Tanzânia (Rampa Remix)
• Toto - Africa (Rampa Edit)
• Together - Janet Jackson (Rampa Remix)
• Zouk Machine - Maldon (Rampa Edit)
• France Gall - Ella, elle l'a (Rampa Remix)
• Busta, Rampa, Black Coffeee - Mamakusa
• Rampa - Cezaralina (Best Quality)
• Drake & Rampa - Virgil Forever (Instrumental)
• Fortress - Diplo ( Rampa Remix )
• Go Low L.A.X (Rampa Edit)
• &Me, Rampa - Tong 4 (Original Mix)
• Travis Scott - Butterfly (&Me Remix)
• Feel - ABRA (&ME & Sasha Tigresa Edit)
• Ilanga - Masšh (&Me Edit)
• Lakou Mizik, Joseph Ray - Samba Yo Pan Pale (&Me Remix)
• Brandy - Almost Doesn’t Count (&ME Edit)
• Da Africa Deep - Humans (&ME edit)
• CUT It Off (&Me) (16khz)
• Dirty Chanel’s- Slaves (&Me Remix)
• Joris Voorn - Homeland feat. Matthew Dear (&Me Remix) {Jinadu Vocal Edit}
• Simian Mobile Disco - Caught In A Wave (&ME Remix)
• Adam Port, Massi, Ninae - All I Got
• Adam Port, Chris IDH & Adassiya - By Myself
• Drake - Confusion ( Keinemusik Remix )
• Drake - A Keeper ( Keinemusik Remix ) (16Khz)
• The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition ( Keinemusik Remix ) (16Khz)
• Rampa, Keinemusik - Salalina (Best Quality)
• Rampa, Keinemusik - Salalina ( Darmon Edit)
• Keinemusik - Muye (Enoo Napa Remix)
• Enoo Napa feat. Priscilla - Shadows
• Michael Jackson - Thriller (Black Coffee Remix)
• DJ Merlon - BroCode ft. Enoo Napa (Mont Rouge's interpretation)
• Vitoto & NiteFreak - XXXXXXX
• Arodes & Fahlberg - She Asked me to Dance
• Tato - Merah
• Tato - Juremas Flower
• Alegria - ARYMÉ & OSFUR ( Chris IDH Remix )
• Bruno Mars - Grenade (ChrisIDH rmx)
• Chris IDH - 7 nation
• Michael Jackson - Hollywood tonight (Chris IDH Remix)
• Victor Alc - Essamina
• Victor Alc - I Know You Know
• Victor Alc - Hangin Tree
• Victor Alc - Alma
• Victor Alc - Sudamérica
• Victor Alc - Boreal
• Victor Alc, Murilo Tronco - Forma De Querer
• Kawz, Mehen - I Feel It [Tortuga]
• Sparrow & Barbossa, PJ Sin Suela - Si Te Vas (Original Mix)
• Coolio - Gangsta Paradise (Moojo Edit)
• Carlita, Mojoo - Havana
• Outkast - Ms. Jackson (Moojo Remix)
• Coco, Joezi, Pape Diouf - 7 Seconds (Moojo Remix)
• Michael Jackson - Billy Late Jean ( Moojo Edit )
• Moojo - Lisboa
• Moojo, Demeya - Hot N fun
• Moojo - Atitude
• Moojo ft Gabsy - Ze Roberto
• Moojo - I Whant Your Soul
• Moojo - GTA
• Moojo - Meditation
• Moojo, Carlita ft. Gabsy - Macaron
• Moojo - Giant Ft. Awen
• Cairo - Here We Are (Moojo Remix)
• Moojo - Oui
• Hall & Oats - Maneater (Moojo Edit)
• Rihana - Stay (Moojo Remix)
• Moojo ft Starving yet Full - Limitless Vocal Version
• Moojo,Da Capo - What U Desaire (Vocal Mix)
• Post Malone - I Fall Apart (Moojo Remix)
• Drake - A KEEPER (Moojo Remix)
• &friends, Joseph (CH) - Jackie Brown
• &friends, Lily’s Mandre - Blending Love
• Akon - Smack That (&Friends Edit)
• Jack Ü Ft. Justin Bieber - Where Are Ü Now (&Friends Remix)
• &Friends - Oya Jo (16khz)
• Abdel Kader - Monte Rougue
• Love Me Back (Raffa Guido Remix)
• Davido - FEEL (Raffa Guido Remix)
• Raffa Guido - Preguntas
• Valeron, Payment & Klaudia Touch Me (Sam (GR) Children Touch)
• Marten Lou - Better Days
• Marten Lou, Issy - Hide U
• Camelphat & Eynka & Delilah Montagu - What A Day (Marten Lou Remix)
• Mont Rouge - Belsunce
• VXSION - Love Preparetions (Slow Down Edit)
• Classy 101 (VXSION, Maz Remix)
• Empire Of The Sun- Walking On A Dream VXSION Remix)
• Jovem Dionisio - Pontos de Exclamação (VXSION Remix)
• Milky Chance - Stolen Dance (VXSION Remix)
• Donna Summer - I Feel Love (VXSION Remix)
• Rui Da Silva - Touch Me (Peace Control Remix)
• Drake - Sticky (Peace Control Remix)
• Arya (Peace Control Remix)
• Look Around You - Ain't Nobody (Alex Wann Edit)
• ROUTE 94, Jesse Glynne - My Love (Alex Wann Remix)
• Craig David - 7 Days (Alex Wann X Sparrow & Barbossa Remix)
• FCLT - Fell It’s You (Alex Wann remix)
• Zhu - Faded (Alex Wann Remix)
• HUGEL, Alex Wann - Forever In My Mind
• Alright - Red Carpet (Kashovski & Abel Ray Remix)
• Malive, Luiza Gogoia, Morgado - Quintal
• Sérgio Mendes - Mas Que Nada (Ahmed Spins Edit)
• ANOTR, Abel Balder - Vertigo (Carlita Remix)
• Kura - Sentir Saudade (Guapo, Antdot Remix)
• Drake - Finesse (Antdot Remix)
• Folamour, Amadou & Mariam - Voyage (Antdot Remix)
• Key Notez - Your Love Ain't The Same ( Maz Remix )
• Maz - Ndaciii
• Maz, Antdot - Emorio
• Peaty - 6pm In Casablanca
• Peaty - KILOSA (Afro Melodic Mix)
• PEATY - Ouda
• MoBlack, Benja, Franc Fala - Yamore
• Black Cofee, David Guetta - Drive (Da Capo Remix)
• Empire Of The Sun- Walking On A Dream (Da Capo Remix)
• Da Capo - KRIPT Apparat Main
• Michael Jackson - Billy Jean (Da Capo Remix)
• Coco, Joezi, Pape Diouf - 7 Seconds (Da Capo Remix)
• Dennis Ferrer - Touched The Sky (Da Capo Dub Afro)
• Drake - A Keeper (Guapo remix)
• CamelPhat - Home (Samm (BE) & Ajna (BE) Remix)
• Super Flu - Lovesong
• Super Flu - Believe
• Super Flu feat. Malive - Loira
• David Mackay, Dela Sur - Carnaval Breve
• Dj Yellow, Flowers And Sea Creatures - No One Gets Left Behind (BLOND.ISH Beirut Edit)
• The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition (DSF, Chris IDH & Dino MFU Remix)
• Harry Styles - Sign of the Times (DSF Edit)
• Royksopp - Running To The Sea (DSF Edit)
• Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence (DSF Edit)
• Kid Cudi - Day 'n' Nite (Kiko Franco Remix)
• Tyla - Water (Kiko Franco Remix)
• Moo J - Collateral Damage
• Moon J, Nani - Quema
• RY X - Howling (Legare Remix)
• Marten Lou - Radiohead 40
• Notredame - Frankenstein
• Notredame - Think about
• Kimotion, Quentro & Tuna - Yame (Becane Remix)
• Lazare - I Don’t Control
• Downstream - Makèz, Life On Planets (Lazare Remix)
• Bun Xapa - Paris
• Darren - Flauta (dan Edit)
• Sounds Of RItuals, Darmon - Seva (Rolling In The Deep)
• Moderat, Keinemusik - More Love (Kalidon Mykonos Mashup)
• &ME, Time - Not Alone (Dorian Craft Edit)
• Luchii - Vertebrea (SOMMA Remix)
• Anton Khabbaz & Dylan Lee - DiDi
• Armin Van Buuren ft. Sharon den Adel - In and Out of Love (Rivo Remix)
• Black Coffee - Juju (Chaleee & Sammi Ferrer Escalation Remix)
• Ikerfoxx - I Can’t Get Enough
• Juan Luis Guirra - La Travesia (Samm Touch)
• Lemon Glow - Beach House (Marten Lou Remix)
• MARASI - Sirens
• Non Grata - Pana
• Sade - By Your Side (Samm Edit)
• Hassan - Shik Shak Shok (Kimotion Remix)
• Thondizl - Sidi Sidi (Extended Edit)
• Stromae - Papaoutai (Francis Mercier Remix)
• Vorso - Wannabe (Kimotion Remix)
• Shimza & Caiiro - Nyali
• Estelle - American Boy (Betical remix)
• Tough Love - Sailor & I (Betical Remix)
• Kanye West, Ty Dolla ign - Paid (Imad Remix)
• Salif Keita - Madan (Marco Generani Remix)
• Babyboy AV - Confession (ALX YAV Remix)
• Moeaike Ft. Ed Begley- What Is Control
• Hakim - Ah Ya Albi (Ajna & Samm Edit)
• Ajna - Move
• Fatboy Slim - Right Here, Right Now (Soubeiran Remix)
• Pablo Fierro - Kababo (Unreleased Version)
• Compay Segundo - Chan Chan (Pablo Fierro Version)
• Sérgio Mendes - Mas Que Nada (Riascode Remix)
• Chaleee & Marco Pex - Your Hands (Original Mix)
• Dennis Ferrer - Hey Hey (Mr. Moudz Afroboot Edit)

MEODIC :

• Adam Ten - Kepler
• Adam Ten - Deep Love
• Adam Ten - Carovana
• Adam Tem - 3 Days (16khz)
• Quentin Harris - Warning (Adam Ten & Mita Gami Re-Edit)
• Classix - All By My Self (Mita Gami Edit)
• Moby - In This World (Mita Gami Edit)
• Mita Gami - Danger
• Pink Floyd - Confortably Numb (Mita Gami Sunrise Edit)
• Solique - Heat Of The Moment
• Solique - Mood In The Jungle
• Ego Maria - T Mapper Native
• Ego Maria, Toto Chiavetta - Cells Under Attack
• Colle - Thoughts (Original Mix)
• Colle - Something to Believe (Original Mix)
• Santiago Garcia - You In The Sky (Original M
• Toto Chiavetta - Acqua (Original Mix)
• Jenia Tarsol & Jinga - Takadoom (Argy Edit)
• RÜFÜS DU SOL - New Sky (Colyn Sunrise Remix)
• Skepta - Bullet from a Gun (Colyn Private Edit)
• London Grammar - Hey Now (Fox Omar Remix)
• Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence (Will Clark Remix) (16khz)
• London Grammar - Hey Now (Cristoph Private Mix)
• Opus III- Fine Night (Cristoph's Private Edit)
• Nelly Furtado - Say it Right (Adana Twins Remix)
• RY X & Frank Wiedemann - Howling (Tinlicker Prague Edit)
• The XX - Fiction (Eagles & Butterflies Remix)
• Massive Attack - Teardrop (Antony Toga Remix)
• Cassius - The Sound Of Violence (Antony Toga Background DiscoVox Version)
• Sting - Desert Rose (SOEL Remix)
• Starsailor - Four to the floor (Mångata Projekt Rework)
• Sin Cos Tan - Destroyer (Adriatique Remix)
• Anna Caragnano - Parola (Erly Tepshi Edit)
• Yotam Avni - Island Hopper (Franky & Sandrino Remix)
• Rebuke - Along Came Polly (Konstantin Sibold, Zac, Carmee Remix)
• Armin Van Buuren - Yet Another Day (8Kays Remix)
• The Beatles - Because (Bedouin Edit)
• Bedouin - Pushing Down
• Eagles & Butterflies - ITALO (16khz)
• Jimi Jules - Love
• Tal Fussman - North
• Tal Fussaman - Sam Shure - Inferno
• Tal Fussaman - Childrem Of 95 (V3 Instrumental)
• OPUS III - It's A Fine Day (Aera's Finite Edit)
• Amê - Mifune (Dixon Acustic Edit)
• Jimi Jules - Palpitations
• Jimi Jules - Run (FT Remix)
• Schneider TM, Kptmichigan - The Light 3000 (Aera Private Edit)
• AIKON, Sobek - Burning Hats (Dixon Edit)
• Kavinsky - Nightcall (Dixon's Private Edit)
• Maind Against - Love Seeking
• Maind Against - Hydra
• Chis Bake - Ride (Mind Against Remix)
• Mathame - There Is The Light
• Mathame - Brothers
• Ae:ther, Mind Against - Black Museum
• Ae:ther, Marino Canal - White Atlas V2
• Artbat - Dark Knight (16khz)
• Yet More - Don't Let Go
• Dan Croll - From Nowhere (Âme Remix)
• MGMT - Eletric Feel (Ivory’s Eletric Reshape) (16khz)
• Amber Run - I Found (Ivory's Re-Found Edit)
• Billie Eilish - Everything I Wanted (Ivory Head Underwater Remix)
• Christopher Cross - Ride Like The Wind (Ivory’s On The Run Edit)
• Trikk - Untitled (16khz)
• Amnesia Scanner - CAT (Dixon & Trikk Rework) (16khz)
• Ivory (IT), Tal Fussman - Labyrinth
• Ivory - Identity
• Ivory - Lovers Hymn
• Ivory - Mirrors
• Ivory - Eye Blink
• Ivory - Jewel
• Ivory - Acid Rain
• Ivory - Conquest Of Space
• Ivory - Upon A Time
• Fideles - Lost In Town
• Hard To Tell - No Matter
• Hard To Tell - Stranger
• Aera - Pullunder
• Aera - Puzzle Emotivo
• Echonomist - Overseas
• Echonomist - Ikaros
• Echonomist - Lullaby
• Lil Yachty - I've officially lost vision (Tim Engelhardt Edit)
• Kevin di Serna - Amapola (Toto Chiavetta Remix)
• Noir Haze - Around (Nico De Andrea Remix)

Dracula: World of War --- The Violet Reaper ---- Humans Don’t Make Good Familiars Book 1 ---- The Lonely World --- Discord ---- YouTube --- My Patreon --- My Author's Page --- ArcAngel98 Wiki ---- The Next Best Hero ---- HDMGF Book 2 ---- Jess and Blinx: The Wizard ---- The Questing Parties ---- Zombies ---- Previous
Jake’s POV
One more, rather intense, sparing session later, and I was back in Suma and Luna’s room. I was being treated for the injuries I’d received during the third round. It was a simple place. Stone walls, those glowing braids sewn into the walls and hanging from the ceiling. The furniture, if you call it that, were just metal and wooden bars and poles placed around the room. In the corner of the room were two boxes, with drapes hanging over the only opening, and a cushion made of animal pelts to sleep in. Lying on the floor, Suma was standing at my side, casting healing spells.
“Jake, these injures are terrible! What happened?” Suma asked. Luna was out with Ciel and his son at the moment, getting seeds and other things from the local market.
“I ran out of mana in the third round of training, and got hit by easily thirty spells in less than ten seconds; from all sides.” I groaned, wincing in pain with every other breath.
“Well, after training with the Royal Mages, I suppose I cannot be surprised that you were injured. How did your other teammates fair?”
“No, it was just me versus them.” I said. Suma gasped snorted in shock.
“W-what?! Then it is no wonder you were injured so badly! Why did they not stop after the first round if they were not going to at least heal you?”
“I wasn’t hurt until the end of the third round. Actually, they ended it because I was injured. They had healers there, but I wanted you to heal me instead since you know-” I coughed hard, feeling my chest rattle and bringing my hand to cover my mouth as I did. Pulling it away, I saw some blood and a cold chill ran straight down my spine and into my stomach. “Oh, that’s probably not good.” Suma immediately fluttered over to my chest, and started another healing spell.
“Never before have I been so grateful for all those confusing lessons on your people’s anatomy.” She said in a frustrated huff.
“Just wish I could have made it through that final round. If I hadn’t run out of mana, my magnetic barrier spell would have stayed up.”
“Jake, it is nothing short of a miracle that you lasted one round, let alone two. And alone no less!”
“You know I won those first two rounds.” I said, smugly.
“You have a head injury, Jake.” Suma said, unfazed. “Once you have stopped spitting up blood, I will treat that too.”
“No, really!” I protested. “And I think I could have won the third one too.”
“If they had not pelted you relentlessly with attack spells?” Suma asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Exactly.” Reaching a hand into my pocket, I pulled out a small wooden plank, engraved with runic symbols and the Queen’s seal, and showed it to Suma. “Got this though.”
“Oh, a Rune-Maker’s permit?”
“Yup. Totally worth it.” I said, just before my toe suddenly popped back into place, sending a sharp and stabbing pain through my entire foot. “AHH! Son of a… ow!”
“That was the last of your injuries. Please, in the future, if you plan on breaking every bone in your body again… change your plans.”
“It wasn’t every bone.”
“But it was quite a lot of them.” She shook her head, probably annoyed. “What are your plans now that you have your license?”
“Nothing immediately, but when we get back to Zach-Ashem, it’ll help with my work with Sela-Car.”
“And what about for the rest of the day? Not another sparring session, I hope?”
“No, but I wish it were.” I said, suddenly feeling anxious. “It’s time.”
“For?”
“To learn how to heal myself.” Holding up my missing hand, she suddenly realized what I meant.
“Ah, do you want me to stay with you while you do?” Suma asked, trying to be gentle, but I’m sure she was still nervous after what happened in the desert. She was no more excited about this than I was.
“Yeah, that…” A deep guttural sigh escaped my lip, almost without me even noticing. “That’d be nice.”
Lying down on the floor, Suma by my head for moral support, it was time to delve into Deyja’s memories. Falling into darkness, I felt that haze wash over my whole body. Searching for information about how he healed himself, despite famously having Death-Mage, I opened the first memory I found. Slowly, everything came into focus as the memory took shape. The first thing I noticed was how high up I was; Deyja was tall. On my, or rather his, left, stood Ashem, who looked different from the last time I saw a memory with him in it. He looked younger, smaller. Both were in a field of rolling hills, surrounded by flowers; some of which came up to their knees. He was using magic to create illusions, and they both were watching them.
“Let us begin our lesson.” Ashem said, his voice rolling like thunder, even despite his youth.
“Thank you again, my friend. I have been wanting to learn to dual-cast for a century now, but have had little time while managing my sections of the project.”
“It is my pleasure, Deyja. I know how hard you have been working with the Neame, and am more than happy to help.” The illusions began to take shape, however it was not pictures, but words written in a language I did not know, floating in the air.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Queen Ompera’s POV
“Leave us.” I ordered my staff. “Svend and I must have a private conversation regarding important matters of state.” Immediately, they all left my private chamber, leaving myself and Svend alone; finally. We laid down in my roost, my head resting on his wing. It had been a long day, full of boring military and diplomatic talks and meetings. All I wanted now was to rest and enjoy my time with him alone.
“Important matters of state? I am certain they all know the truth by this point. Why bother keeping it secret from them further, Ompera?”
“Those gossips would tell our whole kingdom if I ever actually confirmed anything. Let them keep whispering rumors quietly.” I told him, closing my eyes and relaxing.
“Did anything interesting happen today?” Svend asked.
“The campaign to push out the Union from Island of Sangu has officially started. Forces left today, prepared to use Tactical-Scale magic. Evacuations will begin immediately. But I do not want to talk about that.” I told him.
“Okay, then what about the Viking familiar. You went and watched his training today, yes? What did you think?”
I stopped for a moment, unsure how to answer. “He terrifies me.”
“Someone is scary enough to frighten you? He must be quite the intimidating fellow then.” Svend joked.
“Never once in my life have I met someone with so much mana, and such complex and powerful spells. When I requested the General to test him under the guise of training the Royal Mages, I knew what to expect somewhat. I’ve used my Mana Gaze on him before, but I have never seen his complex spells in use until today.” Images of the training flashed into my mind.
“What did he look like?”
“The sheer amount of mana that the spell he used to protect himself with was staggering. It would burn through the entire mana reservoir of the Royal Mages in less than a minute. Yet he sustained it for almost ten minutes. Maybe longer. It looked like wave after wave of mana was just devoured by the air itself. Mana flickered in the air like lightning. Regarding complexity, the only thing I have ever seen even come close to it was Ritual-Magic, and Tactical-Scale magic. But none of that was what truly frightened me.”
“Then what?” Svend asked, listening intently. Clearly uneasy with my descriptions.
“He won.”
“His team won?”
“He fought alone, and still overwhelmed an entire attack squadron of Royal Mages, twice. He was only defeated because he ran out of mana; sacrificed to that monstrous spell. And even when he was finally hit by attack magic, the injuries he suffered minimal injuries; until all of the remaining mages seized the opportunity to attack him all at once. But still he refused healing, preferring to have his master heal him instead. Despite how severe his wounds were, he was able to contact his master and left without complaint after receiving his permit.”
“Is this true?” Svend asked, then after a moment of silence he had another question. “Permit?”
“He went through all of that just so that I would issue him a Rune-Crafter’s permit.”
“So, he is insane?”
“Perhaps… But still, to use spells so advanced that they outclassed rituals, and were more powerful defenses that most of the spells used by the dragons; if the records are accurate that is.” I said, suddenly very sure that asking him to go to the islands was the correct choice. “His Drake Squadron should arrive tomorrow. I look forward to seeing the results of his mission.”

TW ⚠️

For privacy reasons, I’ll call my daughter Ava and my brother Jack.
On Thursday evening, 2 days ago, I (23F), had gone over to my parents house to visit my daughter. She is only 18 months old (1 year and 6 months). She has been living with my parents for the past 6 months due to my unstable mental health. It was agreed between us, and a social worker, that my daughter would reside with them until I get better. I only live a two minute walk away from my parents house, which is extremely convenient because it means I’m only around the corner from my daughter. On the 23rd of May (last week), I had a breakdown and ended up in A&E after overdosing and expressing that I wanted to end my life. A couple days later, slowly, my mood started to improve. I decided to get up out of bed and have a productive day, as prior to this I just stayed locked up in my apartment crying endlessly. I went to the gym, came home and ate, then decided to visit my daughter as I hadn’t seen her in about 3 days.
I open the door to my parents house, and walk into the living room. The house was really quiet, usually my daughter is in the living room watching TV or playing with her toys (all of her toys are in the living room). I walk into the dining room, and my dad is sat by the computer. I say hi, then go upstairs. I go into my sisters room and ask her where my daughter is and she tells me that she is in my brothers room, so that’s where I head next. I’ve never really liked the fact that my brother brings Ava into his room, because it is extremely small. There is no room for my daughter to run around and play, it’s a very confined space. Anyways, I open the door and my daughter comes over to me. She’s fully dressed and seems fine, but then I look up and notice that my brother is sat down on a chair by his desk, with his pants pulled all the way down by his ankles, a bowl of food in one hand (feeding my daughter) and his phone in the other… it seemed as though he was on a phone call. Anyways, I ask him if he is feeding her (stupid question as I can see the bowl of her food in his hand - I was just in shock at what else I was seeing and didn’t even know what to say at this point). He says “yeah”, stands up and hands me the bowl, walks back to the seat and pulls his pants up. I leave the room with my daughter to go downstairs. I sit down, continue feeding her for about a minute, until what I just witnessed starts to really sink in. I put the food down and take her outside into the garden, because I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Once outside I start breaking down with panic at a complete loss on what to do or think.
The thing is, I’ve had a bad feeling about my brother for a while. Something about his presence around my daughter makes me feel uneasy. He hasn’t necessarily done anything substantial (apart from what I saw on Thursday) to warrant this feeling, it was always just a gut instinct. Prior to this I’d observed that he is very affectionate towards my daughter, but this could have been interpreted as him being a good, attentive uncle. I didn’t exactly see it that way, something just seemed a bit amiss. I thought maybe I was just being paranoid though, so I asked my ex (the father, and partner at the time) to observe my brother around my daughter and let me know if he gets the same feeling I do. His feedback was basically along the lines of “I can sort of see why you would be concerned, he is quite close to her, but I just think your brother is a bit weird. He’s not like your usual typical guy. He clearly has a softer side, maybe because he grew up with only sisters. I don’t think he necessarily means any harm, it’s a big allegation and he hasn’t done anything to indicate that level of thinking. Also, Ava is a very young baby, not saying babies don’t get targeted, but usually paedophiles go after children who are a bit older like toddler age.” Even though I kept that response in mind, I still didn’t really feel comfortable with leaving my daughter around my brother, (she was about 7 months old at the time and still living with me), so I stopped letting her stay at my parents house unless I was present too. My mom noticed this and asked me “how come we haven’t seen Ava in a while? I’d love to babysit whilst you go out, we all miss her, especially Jack!” Around this time I had a really vivid nightmare, it was so bad that when I woke up I felt physically sick, it almost bought me to tears. I can’t remember what exactly had happened in the dream because this was almost a year ago now, but it was involving inappropriate sexual behaviour from my brother towards my daughter. I told my mom that I had a bad dream, and that’s why I didn’t want to bring my daughter around anymore. My mom is quite spiritual, I grew up in a Christian household so it’s not uncommon for dreams to have meaning to us. Anyways, she kept asking me what the dream was, but I didn’t tell her because…. How do I even begin to ?????!
To be a bit more specific on why I became suspicious of brother - he used to ask to see pictures of her, offer to change her nappy, and just jump at any opportunity help with her. It struck me as odd, because he seemed more interested in her than my other two siblings (17yrs and 13yrs, both girls). I don’t know who would offer to change a babies dirty nappy, especially a 19 year old male. Even Ava’s own father would want to back out of changing her dirty nappies!! I also recall one time when Ava was sat on my brothers lap, playing with the drawstrings on his joggers. Her hand was basically in the reigon of his groin area whilst she was playing with the strings, and he just sat there and watched her. This made me feel very uncomfortable so I picked her up.
There was also one other occasion in particular that stood out to me and struck me as odd. Last year July, I was at my parents house visiting with my daughter. I was playfully showing her how to play the keyboard, when my brother approached me and held his arms out to take her. “I want to see her!” he said. I let him take her, but made a mental note in my mind that after 5 minutes, I was going to go and check on her. Something told me that I wouldn’t find them in the living room, (I was sat in the dining room with her at the time, which is adjacent to the living room) and I was right. I got up, opened the door to the living room and yep, just as I had suspected they weren’t there. It’s weird because like I mentioned earlier, it’s where she usually plays. There is limited access to hazards in there and in addition to that there is the TV and space for her to run around (well crawl at that point in time) and play. I go upstairs, and I find my brother in my parents room, in the dark (lights turned off, curtains closed) holding Ava with one arm and his phone in the other. I ask him what he’s doing and he says he is putting her for a nap. I take her from him and go back downstairs. Bare in mind this was probably around 2pm, it wasn’t her nap time, she wasn’t even living with my parents at that point. She was perfectly fine in my arms playing with the keyboard, why did my brother randomly decide to take her upstairs for a nap?
I’m not close with my brother, and I don’t live with my family, so I can’t give much detail on his personality or habits. What I do know, is that he is very reserved. He spends a lot of time isolated in his room, and when we are all together as a family watching TV or just talking in general, he isn’t involved. If we ever go out together, he doesn’t come. He chooses to just stay in his room. Something about his aura, even when he isn’t around my daughter, makes me feel uneasy. I don’t really talk to him, if we do it’s only a short exchange.
Anyways, given what happened on Thursday, the police has been notified. What had happened was, I took my daughter back to my apartment (which then alarmed my family because due to my mental health there is a rule in place that I’m not supposed to be alone with Ava without another adult present). I called a good friend of mine, told him what I had witnessed, and asked him to meet me at my apartment ASAP to ensure that I was adhering to the rules. During this time, my brother showed up at my apartment, and told me to the open the door or he’d call the police. I didn’t want to engage with him in any way, shape or form so I told my friend (we’ll call him Sam) to call my brother and let him know that he didn’t need to be there because he was on his way and therefore I wouldn’t be alone with her. After this my brother left, and when Sam arrived I called my ex and told him what I saw. My ex doesn’t live in the same city anymore (he’s about 8 hours away) so there isn’t much he can really do, but obviously he was furious and very disturbed. My sister (17yrs) keeps calling my phone because she’s worried as to why I left the house with Ava, so I tell her to come over to my apartment, and upon her arrival I told her what I saw and she was in shock. I asked her if she had ever witnessed any strange behaviour from my brother prior to this, and she said no, but that he does bring Ava up to his room sometimes.
Sam phones my mother (who is at work) and explains the situation. My mom tells us that she’s leaving work, and to wait until she gets here to discuss this further with my brother. My mom was working in a different city about an hour away, and the plan was for my dad to go and pick her up. My ex didn’t like this idea and says we need to call the police ASAP. Sam, my sister and I decide to call my brother and confront him. I call him, and before I can say anything, he says “Hi, so I know what’s going on, mom just called me and told me. I can’t believe you’d think that. I know what it looks like, but it’s not that.”
My response was - “so you’re admitting that you were feeding her in your room with your pants pulled all the way down???!” He confirmed that’s what I saw, and then said something along the lines of not wanting Ava to touch his pants because she’d get them dirty. I know that’s bullshit, because Ava wasn’t even picking up the food. My brother was feeding her with a spoon, so how could she get his pants dirty if she wasn’t even touching the food? If he didn’t want his pants to get dirty, why didn’t he take them off completely and put something else on? Why not put a towel or muslin cloth over your lap? Nothing about his response is adding up in my mind.
I end the call with him because at this point I feel sick to my stomach, and I call the police. My mom arrives a while later, and shortly after her arrival a police officer shows up. Whilst he is questioning us, other officers turn up at my parents house and arrest my brother. They took my daughters clothes and my brothers phone, and questioned him the following day. He was released yesterday under police bail, and is not allowed to return to my parents house within the next 3 months. He has been sent to live with a relative about an hour away. The official date that he is allowed to leave and come back, is actually on my birthday.
Based on the interview they had with my brother, the police have said that they won’t be carrying out a physical examination on my daughter. I’m glad in a way, because I know it would have probably been very invasive, and I don’t particularly think they are going to find any evidence on her, because when I entered the room she was fully dressed. My concern is what he could have been potentially getting her to do to him, if you catch my drift. I strongly think that they should investigate his devices. They still have his phone, however his laptop was left at my parents house. My mom said that she would ask my brother for the password to the laptop, so that we can look through it for my peace of mind. Apparently my brother refused to this, and as I write this my mother is currently on her way to visit my brother and give him is laptop.
As you can imagine, this whole situation is very unsettling. Tensions are elevated, and there is a blatant vibe of awkwardness in the house. My mother has made it clear that she is disappointed with me for not notifying her first and contacting the authorities. She’s worried that this is going to go on my brother’s record and ruin his future, along with any possibility of him finding employment. Whilst I can understand that it is upsetting to even think that your son could be capable of POTENTIALLY doing something so outrageous, I feel as though she isn’t understanding how I feel. Given the circumstances I believe that my brother should be open to giving the password for his laptop up to put my mind at ease, but according to my mom he isn’t open to this idea because he’s angry with me. I know his laptop is his own private property… but in this situation, I personally would be more concerned about proving my innocence than breaching my privacy.
If we are being honest, I don’t even want to go through the laptop - that was my mother’s idea. Since my mom had informed my brother about everything, he had at least a good 2 hours to delete anything incriminating on the laptop, IF there was even anything on there to begin with. I think the laptop should be handed over to the authorities so that they can search it, because they can recover deleted files if needs be. But my mother has decided to give it my brother because ‘it’s his only means of communicating with her’ since the police have his phone. I pointed out that that isn’t necessarily true, because I overheard her talking to him earlier on phone (he was calling from the relatives phone) and she got frustrated with me. I also overheard her speaking with her friend on the phone last night, and she was asking her friend for advice on whether or not she should give the laptop to the police or just keep it. Her friend told her to keep it, because ‘if the police needed it they would have taken it in the first place’.
My mother isn’t being totally transparent with me either, because she initially tried to make it seem as though she hadn’t asked my brother for the password at all, but my sister pointed out that she had. I feel as though my mother is feeling sorry for my brother and wanting to make him feel as comfortable as possible whilst he is away at our relatives house, but she isn’t thinking about how disturbing it was for me to walk in and see my daughter in a small enclosed room with him, sat on a chair with his pants pulled all the way down. My brother is a 20 year old man that knows right from wrong. He even admitted on the phone that ‘he knows what it looked liked’ from my perspective. Everybody knows that what I saw was odd, no matter the context. My daughter is only 18 months old, she can’t defend herself or speak up for herself. She is only just learning her first words. So why does it seem like majority of my family only have my brother’s best interests at heart?
I understand that I could be wrong, maybe I did misread the situation. Maybe I did jump to conclusions based on my prior suspicions. Maybe he is innocent... and if that’s the case I will apologise for putting him through the ordeal of being arrested. I did make it clear to the police that I wasn’t accusing my brother of rape, all I did was report everything that I saw and express my concern. Based on how my mother and some other family members are acting, I’m starting to doubt myself and question if I did the right thing. It’s a very confusing time right now, and I’m not sure what the outcome of all of this will be. What I know for certain is, I’ve definitely caused a rift in the family, and we probably won’t recover from this. I never really had a relationship with my brother before this, but it will definitely be very awkward going forward - we’ll probably never have one. I’m not sure what to do, think or feel. If anything, this has been a wake up call. I know now that suicide isn’t an option, I have to be here for my daughter. I’m all she has, and I need to be by her side to ensure she is safe. I feel incredibly guilty because if anything has happened to her whilst under my parents care, it’s my fault. I had my suspicions, I even went as far as to order a mini camera to place in my brothers room months ago, but I never went through with it. If I wasn’t so busy being depressed and self-destructive, she would have still been living with me, and none of this would have happened. My parents say that my daughter will probably be removed from the house and put into care because of everything that has happened. The idea of this worries me.
I’d like to know what anyone thinks of this situation… do you think I was just being paranoid this whole time about my brother? Or is there grounds for concern? Where do I go from here?
Thanks for reading this far and sorry for any typos or grammatical mistakes!
*side-note, I can’t say for certain if my brother was wearing boxers or not. I didn’t see any around his ankles where his pants were, and when he stood up his shirt was covering that area.

Reposting this here given UCLA took it down. After people started to believe what I'm saying. Essentially, it looks like they downplayed diagnoses - intentionally or not TBD. Mis-recorded a lot on my medical records, especially from the initial visit. I don't have the history they're saying I do and my medical records back that. Plenty more on my profile as well. I put up imaging, some lab tests, some medical records, enough to give people enough information to make their own observations. I fully understand what I'm doing in posting this in this way too. People even came on my profile after I put this up on the UCLA subreddit, trying to pick apart specifics that are not relevant to what's going on here. Trying very hard to put this on psychosomatic causes and my mental health. It was intense what happened, but I'm alright in that area. Happy to put up more to support these assertions if that's helpful too.
I was the patient in a missed sepsis diagnosis at a major university hospital on April 29th. I spent all day in the hospital trying to escalate a worsening infection that seemed to be spreading all over my body. I was experiencing fever symptoms on and off, fluid sensation, new infection sites popping up all over rapidly. The worst of the infection was on the left side of my neck, and my entire jaw was filled with pus and fluid. My face was swollen enough I tried telling them I didn't look like myself. Nobody at this hospital listened to a word I said and I was repeatedly saying that I strongly felt like I needed IV antibiotics because of the worsening symptoms. Every staff I talked to ignored me. They finally called me out of the tent, had me see a resident ER doctor who chose not to respond to my symptoms. I was dealing with a lot of family stress at the time, and he spent more time telling me that this was more of a GP/Dermatologist issue than it was an ER issue. I was shocked they weren't immediately putting me on IV antibiotics. He wasn't paying attention to what I was trying to tell him, and in the medical notes, recorded my age wrong, recorded my statements pertaining to my rapidly worsening symptoms wrong - failed to follow any standard of care for infection treatment. The picture attached is what this doctor looked at, and put an ultrasound to, only the picture was taken about 10 hours before this doctor looked at it. It had gotten much worse by that point. I told him that I'd been draining it with gauze the nurses in the waiting area gave me due to the amount of buildup in the infection. I drew his attention to my arms, chest, and stomach where active infections were coming up all over. I didn't have medical terminology to put to it, but I told him they seemed to be connected. His response - "don't touch them." This doctor recorded that I have a history of picking at my skin and causing infections to the point I regularly go to the hospital for antibiotics, I don't. I was trying to tell him I've two cellulitis infections in my lifetime, I'm 28 years old, and have a gauge on when doctors respond to infection symptoms seriously and this seemed past that point. The ultrasound imaging looked alarming due to what looked like a mass still inside. He told me it was muscle tissue, I don't think it was. It's hard to know definitively, the report was resigned about 7 hours after I pulled through in ICU the next morning. They didn't even record my age or symptoms right. This doctor had no idea what he was doing.
The next morning, I was in bad shape. I got out of bed, and fluid seemed to start coming out of my toes. I knew I needed to go back to the hospital. I start experiencing serious chest pains in the car, something was definitely going on with my heart. This part is hard for me to back medically at this point. I get to the hospital. I try to tell them my worsening symptoms. At that point fluid is building towards my chest again, leaking out of my toes. They completely ignore me. They treat me like I'm on drugs. Soaked in body fluid, they think it's sweat. Acting like I'm anxious for no reason again and I'm trying to tell them I need a doctor bad. Getting weaker. I'm sitting in the waiting area, I don't know how long. Actively relaying cardiac and sepsis symptoms on a real time basis, and they just don't believe me.
I'm finally called over to the triage, asking for a wheelchair, they won't bring one so I have to walk over. The chest pains were coming and going at that point. I try to tell the triage nurses what's happening and what my symptoms were in the car. Finally one male nurse takes notice, I talked to him after I pulled through, recognizable guy and one of the few people that admitted anything in line with the truth that treated me. He has them put an ECG on. They see the heart drop coming and say are you having chest pains. I wasn't at the time. Then it hits, my legs start shaking, heart tanks into the mid 30s instantly. They're panicking. Get on the phone, call an ICU response to the triage of this hospital. Takes a minute or two for them to get there. I'm being held down as I'm being transferred to a gurney, wheeled through the ER, doctors yelling to everyone get out of the way. I'm literally going black trying to keep my breath going at this point.
By the time they get me to ICU/trauma unit, I'm so weak that I can't even move my shoulder to help get my shirt off, still fully awake. They get my shirt off and start sticking me with IV's all over. Monitoring equipment goes on, doctors start working on me seriously. Administer IV antibiotics, lactated ringer solutions, whatever else they did there. I was just trying to fight it. I basically gave up, thinking I was going to die on that ICU bed, and start coming back. They send in portable imaging and seemingly ID something concerning in my heart. Imaging records show sepsis indicated on a chest X-ray. Possible endocarditis on a bedside ultrasound per what the doctors signed off on. I'm so weak, half dead at that point, really didn't think I would make it.
They put me in a hallway for like 8 hours after that, not telling me what happened. I'm so concerned that what put me in the trauma unit is going to happen again, telling them I'm feeling tightness in my chest, fluid concerns, hooked up to full heart monitoring, dual deep vein IV's in. They ignore all my symptoms and complaints to the point I get pissed and I basically tell them, per the nursing notes - "stop bullshitting me." They finally move me to a more private hallway after I tell them I'm freezing cold and can't take it. The door kept opening where the ambulances were bringing people in. I finally get a room on the intensive care floor after throwing another fit after my phone dies, they won't find me a charger, and still telling me they can't find me a room.
They give me the runaround for two days, telling me they don't know what caused my heart to literally go into failure. I would have died without trauma unit intervention, and I'd been there the night before asking over and over again for IV antibiotics. These doctors and nurses bullshit all the diagnoses. They're saying they're calling it a pre-syncope. I'm not a doctor - but that's medical terminology for nearly fainting. They don't even tell me sepsis in the hospital from what I can remember. I find out from the discharge paperwork, where sepsis is written underneath the principal diagnosis of postural dizziness with a pre syncope. So much more conduct in the hospital that was just not okay. They released me after subjecting me to a cardio stress test they ordered using some diagnosis that has nothing to do with the infection I had. The scarring all over my body alone shows how bad this infection got. Fluid in my body for weeks. The day before they released me, a vancomycin IV burst in my arm, left a bruise for weeks. The same morning, my elbows were soaked in fluid when I woke up, and they just came in and cleaned it up, not telling me a thing.
On the morning they released me, my WBC was higher than the day I got to ICU. They didn't do any updated imaging, conflicting diagnoses everywhere. And they literally try to say "HIGHLY suspected" psychosomatic caused, while treating me for sepsis and using a lot of lactated ringer solutions. Imaging indicating the infection was in my heart. Highly elevated HS troponin readings multiples outside their reference range, and they don't even tell me any of this. The last reading they took was the day before they released me. Vital signs stable was the clinical goal on Wednesday 5/1. MAP>65 on the day they released me. I can't remember a doctor on my treatment team doing my actual discharge. Just some nurse. I was asking for medical records and reports of what treatments they did as I was leaving, wouldn't tell me anything. The nurse let it slip and told me I could find them online, which I already knew. Same response from every doctor and nurse.
A lot more to this story, but this happened at one of the biggest university healthcare systems in the country. Nothing in these records is accurate and contradictions everywhere. Pictures attached. Plenty more happened too. I was so sick for awhile after I left the hospital, I really wasn't positive I would survive for a couple weeks. They tried to say this was psychosomatic, bullshitted all the diagnoses to hide the severity of what happened. This same hospital is already getting some heat from media for their policies affecting people's health.
This definitely did not feel psychosomatic at all. I'm still recovering, still feel it in my chest sometimes. I really thought my life was over at 28. I also apologize if any of the writing comes off erratic, the experience was intense, so I relive it a little when I talk/write about it, but otherwise doing pretty well at this point. If anyone wants me to explain the specific issues there seem to be better, I'm happy to do that as well. I'm happy to put up more imaging as well if it's helpful.
I honestly don't have a clear long term picture of my health at this point. I feel alright all things considered, some lingering symptoms, but I was so shaken up and having a hard time getting another hospital in the area to talk about some of what's in these records so don't have any updated imaging at this point. Getting that done next week. Not something I expected to go through. I thought this would be a relatively routine IV antibiotic situation. I also don't have the history of picking at myself and causing infections like they wrote on the records for the initial visit - I caught a lot of hate for that and past addictions that are fully in remission after quite a lot of work and a pretty difficult upbringing with family dysfunction bad enough my brother and I had an attorney representing our interests at one point.

Reposting this here given UCLA took it down. After people started to believe what I'm saying. Essentially, it looks like they downplayed diagnoses - intentionally or not TBD. Mis-recorded a lot on my medical records, especially from the initial visit. I don't have the history they're saying I do and my medical records back that. Plenty more on my profile as well. I put up imaging, some lab tests, some medical records, enough to give people enough information to make their own observations. I fully understand what I'm doing in posting this in this way too. People even came on my profile after I put this up on the UCLA subreddit, trying to pick apart specifics that are not relevant to what's going on here. Trying very hard to put this on psychosomatic causes and my mental health. It was intense what happened, but I'm alright in that area. Happy to put up more to support these assertions if that's helpful too.
I was the patient in a missed sepsis diagnosis at a major university hospital on April 29th. I spent all day in the hospital trying to escalate a worsening infection that seemed to be spreading all over my body. I was experiencing fever symptoms on and off, fluid sensation, new infection sites popping up all over rapidly. The worst of the infection was on the left side of my neck, and my entire jaw was filled with pus and fluid. My face was swollen enough I tried telling them I didn't look like myself. Nobody at this hospital listened to a word I said and I was repeatedly saying that I strongly felt like I needed IV antibiotics because of the worsening symptoms. Every staff I talked to ignored me. They finally called me out of the tent, had me see a resident ER doctor who chose not to respond to my symptoms. I was dealing with a lot of family stress at the time, and he spent more time telling me that this was more of a GP/Dermatologist issue than it was an ER issue. I was shocked they weren't immediately putting me on IV antibiotics. He wasn't paying attention to what I was trying to tell him, and in the medical notes, recorded my age wrong, recorded my statements pertaining to my rapidly worsening symptoms wrong - failed to follow any standard of care for infection treatment. The picture attached is what this doctor looked at, and put an ultrasound to, only the picture was taken about 10 hours before this doctor looked at it. It had gotten much worse by that point. I told him that I'd been draining it with gauze the nurses in the waiting area gave me due to the amount of buildup in the infection. I drew his attention to my arms, chest, and stomach where active infections were coming up all over. I didn't have medical terminology to put to it, but I told him they seemed to be connected. His response - "don't touch them." This doctor recorded that I have a history of picking at my skin and causing infections to the point I regularly go to the hospital for antibiotics, I don't. I was trying to tell him I've two cellulitis infections in my lifetime, I'm 28 years old, and have a gauge on when doctors respond to infection symptoms seriously and this seemed past that point. The ultrasound imaging looked alarming due to what looked like a mass still inside. He told me it was muscle tissue, I don't think it was. It's hard to know definitively, the report was resigned about 7 hours after I pulled through in ICU the next morning. They didn't even record my age or symptoms right. This doctor had no idea what he was doing.
The next morning, I was in bad shape. I got out of bed, and fluid seemed to start coming out of my toes. I knew I needed to go back to the hospital. I start experiencing serious chest pains in the car, something was definitely going on with my heart. This part is hard for me to back medically at this point. I get to the hospital. I try to tell them my worsening symptoms. At that point fluid is building towards my chest again, leaking out of my toes. They completely ignore me. They treat me like I'm on drugs. Soaked in body fluid, they think it's sweat. Acting like I'm anxious for no reason again and I'm trying to tell them I need a doctor bad. Getting weaker. I'm sitting in the waiting area, I don't know how long. Actively relaying cardiac and sepsis symptoms on a real time basis, and they just don't believe me.
I'm finally called over to the triage, asking for a wheelchair, they won't bring one so I have to walk over. The chest pains were coming and going at that point. I try to tell the triage nurses what's happening and what my symptoms were in the car. Finally one male nurse takes notice, I talked to him after I pulled through, recognizable guy and one of the few people that admitted anything in line with the truth that treated me. He has them put an ECG on. They see the heart drop coming and say are you having chest pains. I wasn't at the time. Then it hits, my legs start shaking, heart tanks into the mid 30s instantly. They're panicking. Get on the phone, call an ICU response to the triage of this hospital. Takes a minute or two for them to get there. I'm being held down as I'm being transferred to a gurney, wheeled through the ER, doctors yelling to everyone get out of the way. I'm literally going black trying to keep my breath going at this point.
By the time they get me to ICU or “Trauma Room”, I'm so weak that I can't even move my shoulder to help get my shirt off, still fully awake. They get my shirt off and start sticking me with IV's all over. Monitoring equipment goes on, doctors start working on me seriously. Administer IV antibiotics, lactated ringer solutions, whatever else they did there. I was just trying to fight it. I basically gave up, thinking I was going to die on that ICU bed, and start coming back. They send in portable imaging and seemingly ID something concerning in my heart. Imaging records show sepsis indicated on a chest X-ray. Possible endocarditis on a bedside ultrasound per what the doctors signed off on. I'm so weak, half dead at that point, really didn't think I would make it.
They put me in a hallway for like 8 hours after that, not telling me what happened. I'm so concerned that what put me in ICU is going to happen again, telling them I'm feeling tightness in my chest, fluid concerns, hooked up to full heart monitoring, dual deep vein IV's in. They ignore all my symptoms and complaints to the point I get pissed and I basically tell them, per the nursing notes - "stop bullshitting me." They finally move me to a more private hallway after I tell them I'm freezing cold and can't take it. The door kept opening where the ambulances were bringing people in. I finally get a room on the intensive care floor after throwing another fit after my phone dies, they won't find me a charger, and still telling me they can't find me a room.
They give me the runaround for two days, telling me they don't know what caused my heart to literally go into failure. I would have died without ICU intervention, and I'd been there the night before asking over and over again for IV antibiotics. These doctors and nurses bullshit all the diagnoses. They're saying they're calling it a pre-syncope. I'm not a doctor - but that's medical terminology for nearly fainting. They don't even tell me sepsis in the hospital from what I can remember. I find out from the discharge paperwork, where sepsis is written underneath the principal diagnosis of postural dizziness with a pre syncope. So much more conduct in the hospital that was just not okay. They released me after subjecting me to a cardio stress test they ordered using some diagnosis that has nothing to do with the infection I had. The scarring all over my body alone shows how bad this infection got. Fluid in my body for weeks. The day before they released me, a vancomycin IV burst in my arm, left a bruise for weeks. The same morning, my elbows were soaked in fluid when I woke up, and they just came in and cleaned it up, not telling me a thing.
On the morning they released me, my WBC was higher than the day I got to ICU. They didn't do any updated imaging, conflicting diagnoses everywhere. And they literally try to say "HIGHLY suspected" psychosomatic caused, while treating me for sepsis and using a lot of lactated ringer solutions. Imaging indicating the infection was in my heart. Highly elevated HS troponin readings multiples outside their reference range, and they don't even tell me any of this. The last reading they took was the day before they released me. Vital signs stable was the clinical goal on Wednesday 5/1. MAP>65 on the day they released me. I can't remember a doctor on my treatment team doing my actual discharge. Just some nurse. I was asking for medical records and reports of what treatments they did as I was leaving, wouldn't tell me anything. The nurse let it slip and told me I could find them online, which I already knew. Same response from every doctor and nurse.
A lot more to this story, but this happened at one of the biggest university healthcare systems in the country. Nothing in these records is accurate and contradictions everywhere. Pictures attached. Plenty more happened too. I was so sick for awhile after I left the hospital, I really wasn't positive I would survive for a couple weeks. They tried to say this was psychosomatic, bullshitted all the diagnoses to hide the severity of what happened. This same hospital is already getting some heat from media for their policies affecting people's health.
This definitely did not feel psychosomatic at all. I'm still recovering, still feel it in my chest sometimes. I really thought my life was over at 28. I also apologize if any of the writing comes off erratic, the experience was intense, so I relive it a little when I talk/write about it, but otherwise doing pretty well at this point. If anyone wants me to explain the specific contradictions there seem to be more thoroughly, I'm happy to do that too.