Love notes girlfriend

As title says gf (less than a year) came to me and asked my thoughts on her joining the air force. As someone who is in the military prior active duty i understand what that entails at least on the AF side. As much as i absolutely want her to follow her dreams and do this great thing, I am worried. Not about the air force in general but our relationship. I remember my time at bct and how many relationships I saw ended, and I feel lost. I really love her, but I feel out of my depth. Side note.I only have a year left in the guard. I havnt talked to her about it but I’m very aware of BAH, and how to continue our relationship by getting married and I go where she goes post bmt if that is what happens. But I’m so lost and confused on what to do or what to think. TLDR: gf wants to join AF, I am prior AD, now ARNG, and I worry about our relationship and how this may affect it. I want her to follow her goals though, nothing means more to me than her succeeding.

Since journeying with Ezio, I feel like him I’ve gotten some attachment to his family and it made me smile when in Lineage them having dinner together or when Ezio does things for them during the beginning. It’s honestly tragic how this family is torn apart. So did you get attached to the Auditores like Ezio? Quick note I really like how much Ezio’s loves his family. It’s so sweet and seeing Ezio’s love for each and every one of them is heartwarming but also heartbreaking.

My best friend of 9 years and girlfriend of 4 months just broke up with me because of my behavior. Have not let myself love/ be loved in over a decade and the second i do i just transform into my worst self. She always accepted me and knew about my condition and it still didn’t work. Extremely hard to find anyone who understands, let alone someone who you open yourself up to. Can anyone else relate?

For context, me (23) and my bf(30) who are co-workers have been together for a year and a half. I'm Indian and he's Arab. We love each other very much and though our styles of expression are different we respect each other and try to communicate. We have been each other's safe spaces from the moment we became friends until now.
However, the major challenge I'm facing is that his family does not know anything about me and he still has to hide our relationship with them. They are aware he has a girlfriend but does not know anything else as they will not be happy about him marrying outside his religion and country. On the other hand my parents have already met him and he even texts my mom to wish us on special occasions/holidays.
I'm trying to be understanding of these actions of his. I get that where he is from, dating is a taboo subject. And both of us being from different religions, nationalities and our age gap does not make things easier. When we agreed to start dating we acknowledged our differences and told each other we will take things day by day. But now that we've been together for a year and a half I'm starting to want more. More of his time, more acceptance and less hiding, and promise of a future together. I'm not someone who is very keen on marriage or having kids so all I just want is assurance that we'd both fight together for our future.
A few weeks ago I had asked him if his family found about us and told him to break up what would he do and he said he doesn't know. I was extremely hurt by this answer and tried to initiate a break up by asking if he wants to stop what we have and he said he definitely does not want to. And in an attempt to stop me from feeling as terrible as I did he said he will handle it when the time comes. His words offered a very short lived comfort and I'm back to square one of thinking he will not do anything for us, especially since he has made it clear on multiple occasions that his family comes first no matter what.
To make things even worse he's currently solely financially supporting his family of 9-10 members who all live with him. This has made it difficult for us to hangout out a lot often as we once did (mind you when we started dating this was not the case). And since he's living in a crowded house I have to be careful when I call him as he might have family near him who might find out about us. The fact that we're coworkers doesn't make it easier as it's not like we can be affectionate in the office.
Due to these circumstances I now feel wedged in between wanting more of him but feeling like I am an inconvenience to his life. He assures i am not and asks me to stop overthinking thinggs but that is difficult for me. I understand that these life circumstances are harder on him than me and he is definitely suffering. But it is also my first relationship. I've reached a point where I find myself crying every other week worried about our future because I can't and don't want to let go of him. It's not easy to find people who you connect with and can be your safe space. Even if I do find the courage to break up I don't even want to think about the bout of depression and loneliness that would await.
Please advise me on my situation as I feel completely lost and stuck with these issues in my relationship
TL;DR: as my bf and I from different cultures and nationalities are almost approaching the 2 year mark I want more from him such as not hiding me from his family and his time. But due to cultural differences and his financial situation he's unable to do the same for me. Please advise

I swear I only hear this phrase from them.
Example - A friend of mine recently started saying this after EVERYTHING. He clears the clutter in his car so I can sit down.... He finishes pumping his gas... He eats a mediocre sandwich... Etc. Always predictably follows with the same annoying assed comment.
"weLL tHaTs gOoD eNOugH foR gOveRnMEnT wOrK!"
And it all started after he started working with a bunch of Boomers. That's when I noticed other Boomers saying it as well. Can't be a coincidence.
Anyone know why they say this phrase so much? I mean, yeah, my local Post Office is slower than molasses sometimes, but to me it comes across as punching down (which Boomers would neeeever do).
On that note, I'd love to have a clap back handy to make them feel dumb. Ideas welcome.
Boomer: "That's good enough for government work..." Me: "...unless of course you worked for the EPA. Can you imagine the extra effort required to unfuck the climate left to us by your generation?"

I’m one of the good people, I say to myself – ah, but on the borderline, says my contrarian voice, wagging a finger at some abstract wall of my mind, on which likely hangs a mirror, making the futility of the gesture complete. At the silent Buddhist retreat, I fight the urge to sexualize every single person in the room, one by one, all day long, instead of meditate, and I resist that – but I do indeed sexualize a bit, not graphically so, just the willingness of the mind to wander, which is such a strange thing to do under any circumstance, like your mind is a restless dog that paces from room to room or like the shadows on the floor decide to leap up, make love on the ceiling. The light seems to flicker now and then when the silent retreat folks and I lean into it. I picture high school meditation teams taking on other high school meditation teams, tournaments even.
I don’t want to make too much of this, but there’s an obvious contrarian dimension to the ethos of silent retreats – this is my take – in that they seem so serious from the outside, but once you get into it, you notice the essential feeling is erotic, as least on an interpersonal level. See, when you commit to staying silent all day – as you sit together, as you pass each other in the hall, as you hold doors open for each other – you are hearing the body, and you are listening to your own. The body is the star of the show at a silent retreat, as least among those new to it, meeting as strangers, and when bodies are principally speaking to bodies, if you aren’t actively forcing each other to grow crops or dig minerals out of the ground – if what you are all doing is sitting on big pillows and comfy chairs – then eroticism is in the air. Pleasure is adjacent to inner peace.
The petal in the rose oil is that some of us are living through two-fold consciousness and thus, in various stages of suffering and duress, and so the eroticism must be steered toward empathy and not, for instance, condemnation, which is like what bad bosses get off on. The silent retreat is very anti-bad boss, punctuated by the sort of crises that distinguish mature human concerns from all the rest, and many people in the room are grieving. A father dies. A mother dies. Some part of our lives comes apart – you open the door to see, and the room once there is missing – open air, blue sky, some scrap of a curtain where a window used to be. When the time comes to dedicate the retreat to others outside of the circle, a third of the room says Gaza. Faith and the encampment protestors, I add. Anti-bad boss – may a benevolent spirit make the world right.
Over lunch, I sit in the grass, eat seasoned tofu and pasta, then lay back and let the sunshine throw cosmic fragments through my body, which distinguishes between the impermeable and the permeable by heating up my skin. The rest, which is most of it, goes right through me and then right through the planet, on its way to the end of the universe probably. What I remember, though, is the heat – my body listening to the sun like its singing high notes, especially across my clavicle and along the bridge of my nose. A clavier is the keyboard of a musical instrument, and adversaries swap prisoners every time I sneeze. Does that make sense? The sun is investing my body with a belief in levitation, like its growing the way a dandelion does, and soon I’ll float away. Maybe gravity is going to seed – carried inside lighter-than-air clouds of indeterminacy.
The clouds – my gosh, the clouds – cumulonimbus sweethearts with passion blooming in their breasts. When someone says clouds look like curds of cauliflower, they mean that the same sort of influence that makes cauliflower look that way is likewise producing these formations on the cloud deck. Or maybe they look like mashed potatoes, scoops of lemon sorbet, but none of this really captures the manifestation of such things in the sky. When the edges of the clouds catch the sun, I have to squint to look at them, and the potential for transmogrification seems present – like the clouds become beach sand, the sky the absence of our discontent. The clouds become flashbulbs, and fame-seekers down below keep waiting for it to rain. The clouds are utterly still, like a personal insight that causes the body to stop, the mind to freeze – hours that way. Years.
Later, sitting on a set of steps miles away from the silent retreat, I see the clouds from a different angle, as different seeds float past. Someday the former will pour forth upon the land, and then the latter will pour forth into the air – one tiny seed producing a plant that grows taller than me, like tossing a brick down a well and watching a whole city erupt from it. Above and behind me, beneath the eaves of the auditorium, the sudden and familiar sound of baby birds cheeping for a meal, and I picture a parent pouring everything their child will ever need into their wide open beaks, one after another. The cheeping is continuous, like a rolling metal wheel, so my attention turns to a photographer snapping pics of a recent graduate in white heels, tasteful skirt and red lipstick. A clicking sound comes from a shutter opening and closing, camera set on burst mode.

I'm a 24 years old. Since I was 18 I've been out in the city away from the village where my parents live, but, out of resources, I came back a year ago, a 23 years old single man with no college degree yet, and no job.
Let's get to the point: since I've been in the village, I haven't been as busy as I was in the city, so I started watching a lot of movies and series, in which I barely did in the previous chapters of my life. I started growing a love for cinema and TV over the last year, and since then, I've been dreaming of becoming an actor or a screenwriter or maybe a cameraman, but since the interest only grew since around one year ago maybe, I felt like it's too late to do anything about it, so I didn't, not even researching it.
Today I came up with an idea for a drama-comedy TV show, that we are not used to seeing in Lebanese movies or series, even maybe never ever been seen before at all, but plenty in different countries, and they have been really successful. And, I think the idea is so good it will make a splash, a big one, giving rise to new stars in the business, making lots of money, reaching a huge amount of audience and receiving good reviews. At least locally speaking, across the country.
On another note, I never had any film education in my life and I have never participated in anything related to film other than consuming, but I would really like to work on this idea, make a move.
I feel like this is a common dream for young adults. As in, Ohhh I wanna be a movie star and whatnot, but I actually feel like I would love the shit out of it, I feel like I belong on the set, maybe on screen or maybe behind the scene, but I belong there.
I want some advice on what to do here, continue with my current education, get a psychology degree and go for a masters degree, then practice psychology, which will take around 5 to 6 years and whilst practicing, get my PhD. Or shift towards the tv and film industry in which I know nothing about.
If it's film, what can I do with a TV show idea but ZERO knowledge and experience in the business.

Throwaway because some of the people in this story know my real reddit.
I (25M) am married. My wife (28F) and I are separated, and will probably, eventually, divorce. She lives in the Midwest, I live in New York. She's close (geographically) to her parents, I'm an immigrant and all the people I love live so far away they may as well be on the moon. My likely soon-to-be ex-wife and I have a decently good relationship - there wasn't any big fighting before the split. She just didn't like me anymore. According to herself, she still cares a lot about me and wants to see me do well and be happy. She wants us to remain friends, but plainly I don't fucking want to. It makes me violently sick to my stomach to imagine myself bearing witness to the woman I loved getting together with some other dude, no matter how much she says she "doesn't think about it in terms of betteworse, just 'right' for her". This is important context.
I have a good career making alright money (enough to live on, at least - not many luxuries) in probably the most prestigious institution of its kind in the US. I graduated from a meh university in a field I never intended to work in. I'm not anything special at my job, just an office drone that occasionally plans events for my section of the company, but it's a hell of a thing to put on a resume. I don't have many friends here in NY outside of my cubicle buddy - lots of acquaintances that I make at the bar every time I go, because people love me when I'm wasted and funny, but nobody that stuck around after I stopped drinking for fitness reasons. I live in a tiny bedroom in an apartment shared with 4 people. I don't go out to save money. I occasionally engage with my hobby, which is scale models of military stuff, but lately I've had little will to do so. I spend close to 1/4 of my salary on a personal trainer, because I can't get the idea out of my head that my ex dumped me for not being hot enough, and I spend two hours every morning before work and three hours on Saturday at the gym, which is basically my main hobby right now. All this is to say, I'm a vain boring guy with no friends stuck in a shitty office job.
I wasn't like this when I was younger. I went to every party back in my hometown. Every time I visited on Spring Break or Summer people would fall over themselves to invite me to parties, when I left for college at 18 something like 200 people got together to burn an effigy of me as a big joke farewell. I was somebody. Every time I used to talk about this to my STB ex, she would get this look on her face like I was telling her I used to do heroin and crack. She's very proper, very ladylike, very respectable. I used to do keg-stands and break into abandoned water parks to smoke weed and graffiti the walls. I also come from a respectable family, so I had triple pressure between my parents and my sister and her to become an upstanding member of society. So now I don't do any of the shit that used to make me happy, and I'm no longer with the person who used to make me happy. It's not even like I can go back to doing that, either - my alcohol tolerance plummeted, I get bad hangovers since I turned 23, and I just don't really *feel* like it anymore.
My best friend back home and I were military otaku. We were always going off about how we'd join the French Foreign Legion together, or the Spanish Legion, or whatever mercenary army would take us. Back then I was out of shape so it was a pie in the sky dream, literally teenage bullshit. My best friend recently lost his long term girlfriend to leukemia, and he called me to tell me he's going to go enlist in the Spanish Legion. I knew he was telling me because he wants me to go with him. The way I am now I could absolutely crush the physical portion of enlistment and being that I have no criminal record and a college degree, the other requirements are taken care of. Absolute worst case scenario, this being the military, I get shot or blown up and die or end up disabled. Best case scenario, I survive the tour and get to live in Spain, with a nice climate, people of a familiar and less friendless culture, and lots of cultural things I like to do. Compared to here, even if I have no friends over there, I could at least go watch my favorite football team play on a regular basis.
Every time I've told my family that I want to go back home, they freak out, because they think I have the perfect life, making shitloads of money working in a super-prestigious office, helping the needy, in the "world capital", so I know that if they found out that I ditched all of that to go march around in tight green pants for a flag that isn't even mine they'd likely disown me. My stb ex-wife also would probably freak out. They all think I have such a great life, that this was all a great opportunity and that I'm living the dream, and yet I'm miserable and lonely and literally purposeless. I just wake up every Monday and go put in a shift at a place I couldn't give less of a shit about and go home to do nothing except play FIFA and chat with my guys on Discord. If I just fucking die over there, I don't have to see my ex build her life without me. I thought Midwest-New York would be enough miles. It isn't. If I leave, I would just get rid of all my devices and tell my friends back home to tell my sister, who would probably filter it to everyone. I want to just disappear and be unreachable so I don't have to hear about their happy lives ever again.
Would I be the asshole if I ditch this supposedly perfect life to follow my friend into the military of a country that isn't ours in a completely different continent? Would I be the asshole for rejecting the "opportunity" to live the way I live?

• (Short story time)

Might be hard to believe, but growing up I had never played a Zelda game (yes people like me exist haha) so I figured better to start late than never. I had recently found and dusted off my old 3DS I found in the back of the closet and took the opportunity to look at old games I missed out on growing up. As I combed through the 3DS' most popular games and people's recommendations, one that kept sticking out was "Ocarina of Time 3D", universally praised and ranked number one on a lot of people's lists. So as someone 26+ years late to the party, I thought I'd finally play my first Zelda game.
So far, I'm loving the game. It's fun and charming, the atmosphere is so nice and immersive, and I finally discovered all the iconic music and sound effects I've heard for YEARS in other stuff LOL. Currently I'm still early on in the game, just landed into the Royal Family's Tomb in Kakariko Village.

• (Main Topic - Me getting stuck)

I've got a huge question though, is the game supposed to be frustrating and hard to follow? I'm no stranger to these types of games and am used to exploring, backtracking and traveling, but I kept getting stuck ALOT.
In the beginning of the game at Kokiri village, I got stuck immediately. I was told to go find a "Sword and Shield" before I could see the great deku tree. So I went to the shop and bought a shield, and then thought "Well they got a stick for sale in here, so maybe that's the make shift sword for now?" but obviously that wasn't it. After running around the village more, I found the entrance to the The Lost woods. Being such a grand opening of an entrance I thought I was supposed to go in there to find a sword. After running around for 15 more minutes and getting lost over and over I realized this wasn't it either. So after running around the village more I found the crawlspace to learn how to dodge the moving boulder and found nothing again? But I figured that couldn't be it so I keep running around in circles and missed the chest THREE times because of the game's camera controls (maybe this is just a 3ds version issue?). Was I supposed to have a hard time finding the first sword? No one told me it would be at the back of town, behind a small crawlspace, past a moving boulder. The only clue I got was "You need a sword and shield to pass through here". I thought it honestly seemed more like a place to find a secret item, rather than an important story piece?
When I progressed to Hyrule Castle to try and see the princess, I got stuck again. During the portion where you have to sneak past the guards, I found the vines growing on the side of the wall. And after sneaking past to the side of the castle, I found an old guy sleeping? He wouldn't wake up no matter how many times I talked to him and I couldn't figure out what to do. So I thought I missed something and went back to town. When I couldn't find anything different in town I went back to the castle and noticed there was a girl named Malon standing next to the vines now. I talked to her and she said her dad fell asleep on his way to the castle during a delivery and asked if I could "wake him up". I thought "ah, now that I've talked to this girl I can wake up that guy". I did think it was really weird how she wasn't there before hand though, shouldn't she have been there the first time I tried to sneak in? Anyway I snuck to the side of the castle again and the guy WOULDN'T WAKE UP. I was super confused why he wouldn't wake up after I talked to Malon. After running around for 10 minutes and finding nothing, I decided to look up a guide. It turns out Malon gives you an egg, but only after you talk to her TWICE. She only gives you the important item you need if you speak to her again, after she finishes talking the first time?? Wouldn't it make more sense for her to say "hey can you wake up my dad if you find him? Also here is an egg" all in one? Why would I need to talk to her two times in a row for the progression item I need? Anyway, I got the egg and snuck past the guards again and when I made it to her dad it hatched into a chicken. I'm going to be real here, I got stuck again lol. I thought I would just talk to Malon's sleeping dad and he would finally wake up and I would give him a chicken as a gift? I knew chickens were animals in Zelda (and that you're never supposed to attack one) but it didn't even occur to me that the chicken in my inventory was an item to be equipped and used to wake up Malon's dad. I had to look at another guide for that one.
My third time getting stuck was after I talked to Zelda for the first time. After I talked to Zelda for the first time, I got to see the cool cutscene and spy on Ganon in the window. Afterwards, I get the Princess note thing and Zelda stops talking to me (I'm free to move around). At this point, I had been playing for over 2 hours so I saved and closed the game. When I came back to it later in the day, I was SUPER CONFUSED why I was back in Kokiri village. After looking it up, I get sent back there every time I save and close the game unless it's a dungeon?? Shouldn't that be a warning when you save?? "Warning, closing your game will have you awake in your bed in Kokiri village the next time you continue". I was really frustrated that I had to run back to Hyrule on foot, sneak past all the guards AGAIN, and then when I talked to Zelda I had to watch the cutscene AGAIN. It only took like 17 minutes, so it wasn't a huge deal but it was really frustrating how saving and closing the game made me lose progress.
The most recent time I got stuck was at the graveyard in Kakariko Village. After entering Kakariko village, I couldn't find anything to do since I couldn't progress into the mountain without the King's permission. I kept hearing about the graveyard though, so I figured that's where I should go next. I found the graveyard at the edge of town and read the gravestones one by one. When I got to the royal family's tomb some ghost popped out and I defeated them. The ghost told me some things and then disappeared afterwards. After that, I thought I was done in the graveyard, no chests, no branching paths, just the graveyard tour which I assumed was a minigame to get some rupees?. My train of thought was, okay so now maybe the king will be in town and I need to find him so he will give me permission to enter the mountain, I'll probably need to play my ocarina for him since Impa said the song will give me credibility for knowing the royal family. Guess who was wrong lol. I spent 30 minutes running around town checking every nook and cranny for something that would progress me forward. I gave up and looked at a guide again. Turns out I needed to play my ocarina at the royal family tomb to progress forward. Was I supposed to know to do that??? Did I miss some dialog at some point that tells me if I see a triforce symbol to play my ocarina on it? No one told me to do that. It seemed obvious when I thought about it, but there wasn't any tutorial or hints from Navi about it.

• (Conclusion)

Am I just incompetent?? Is progression in OOT supposed to be smooth sailing and I'm just fumbling the bag? I'm genuinely confused why I got stuck so many times this early on in the game. It's just really frustrating and disrupts the flow of what would other wise seem like a great story. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to keep playing, I love the gameplay and the visuals so far, plus it's kind of exciting since it's my first Zelda game. But man, is it supposed to be this frustrating for me? Are all Zelda games like this? Or is this just how games were in 1998? Am I just bad at this game? Lol

Listen at this point I think I’m cursed because I swear I keep having one of 2 things happen to me in my life. Either I do something incredibly stupid or something incredibly unlucky happens to me and yet somehow I come out unscathed, example being on more then one occasion me dropping glass items due to a completely unlucky set of circumstances yet somehow catching it perfectly or even better having it LITERALLY BOUNCE ON HARD FLOOR and me stopping it before breaking. Or I have the luckiest things happen to me and it looks like I’m guaranteed to succeed in something and then at the absolute last minute despite all odds I fuck it up somehow. Just today I had both of these happen simultaneously. I really liked this girl and I asked her to prom and she said yes. Mind you I literally got full confirmation from her friend that it was a good idea before doing it so it wasn’t a big surprise. Now in the time between asking and prom we progressed so quickly that we agreed to actually start dating after prom. Which honestly I never expected to happen and I was so happy. Prom comes along and I actually nail it. We hugged we held hands we felt like an actual couple and it was great. We even kissed at the end. But of course my curse couldn’t just let me be happy. I said “i love you” and we’d really only been dating for like a week so it’s way too early to say that and I really meant that I just really liked her but my brain just kinda shortened it to one word. Now she didn’t seem mad at first or weirded out so I thought it was fine but it definitely wasn’t. I dropped her off at a party after prom cause I couldn’t stay any later and when I got home I messaged her that shit again CAUSE IM A FUCKIN DUMBASS WHO THOUGHT IT WAS FINE. Come the next day she wasn’t really talking to me and I wasn’t sure why at first but i had this lingering thought that she might be trying to ghost me despite what seemed like a lot of evidence against that. So I asked if she was ok to which she responded with no and explained how she WAS in fact weirded out by it and needed some space. So here we are I’m about to just accept the fact that this shit happened again like it always fucking does and I was about to just be depressed but instead I actually tried to work out. And I explained to her what happened and she understood but said she still needed more time. So I’m thinking welp I tried and I had to get to work anyway so I tried to push it out my mind. But then she messaged me and apologized for being slow to respond to my messages originally because she was “a little hungover.” Now call me a bitch but I don’t drink and don’t plan on it for the foreseeable future so this caught me so off guard cause she also has stated she doesn’t plan to drink. So suddenly I’m thinking shit because I said ONE FUCKING WORD WRONG I stressed her out causing her to drink. Now imagine going to work and trying to serve customers while trying to deal with the fact that you might’ve been the sole cause for an incredibly stupid fucking decision that someone you care about a lot made. Safe to say I was internally having a meltdown while trying my best to seem fine on the outside. My manager could tell something was up and let me take a 15 minute break (which definitely ended up being longer then 15 minutes) where I just fucking broke down in my car cause I was so fucking done with myself. Literally one word was the difference here. One word was the difference between me having a girlfriend and me maybe not having a girlfriend and also causing her to make a horrible decision. But I pulled myself together enough to talk to her about it. She confirmed to me that I was definitely not the reason she was drinking, although I still don’t believe her, and that she would’ve done it no matter what. And on top of that, we talked about the other thing more and how I was seriously still sorry about that and I felt awful. Now I’m still under the assumption that I’ve completely fucked this but then she comes out of nowhere and we actually talked it out like a lot and she was worried about me despite what I had said. And told me she actually understood why I had said that and wasn’t mad at me. She just said she was very taken aback. She then proceeded to grill me to make sure I was ok (in a very similar fashion to how I’d grill her when she wasn’t ok) and also wanted to make sure that WE were ok. At this point I told her exactly why I was so scared and why I was definitely not ok earlier and she told me that I didn’t fuck it up and that this stupid shit I said wasn’t going to change how she felt about me and she still really cared about me and liked me a lot. This all happened in the span of like 2 days btw so I was on the biggest emotional roller coaster. Swear to god I dealt with every single emotion in those two days. Now the crazy part is I realized just now that my curse infact struck twice today. This whole time I’m thinking this shit is screwing me over as always but I forgot about the first part of my curse. The part where I somehow come out unscathed after the stupidest most unlucky shit happens. Now this happened in two ways during this incident. One is the fact that we worked it out despite the chaos. Two which still dumbfounds me is the fact that she didn’t ghost me. She told me that literally EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER FRIENDS WERE TELLING HER TO JUST GHOST ME! THAT ORIGINAL FEAR I THOUGHT WAS UNWARRANTED WAS ACTUALLY ALMOST TRUE! BUT SHE DECIDED AFTER I ASKED IF SHE WAS OK TO ACTUALLY TALK TO ME CAUSE SHE STILL FELT I HAD THE RIGHT TO KNOW. That god damn curse is also a blessing cause once again the stupidest most unlucky shit happens but somehow by pure fucking luck it ends up avoiding becoming worst case scenario and actually works itself out. When she told me literally all her friends were telling her to ghost me I was actually floored. I swear I thanked her like 5 different times for not ghosting me and actually talking it out. In summary I am the luckiest unlucky man alive and it’s a blessing and a fucking curse.

I'm a simple player , I love thematic necromancy debuffs. To me it's really frustrating that the strongest debuff is just hypnotic pattern. There's one spell that is iconic of the past for Debuffing and that is Ray of Enfeeblement. Back in 3.5 it was a ranged touch attack that gave you a penalty to strength, which afflicted both hit and damage rolls. No save and to make things better, it was a first level spell.
The overall amount of debuff was comparable to Bane more or less. I love bane. I think Bane is a dope spell even though everyone and their moms play Bless instead.
What I'm saying is that there a certain lack of interest in Ray of Enfeeblement because it's both a hit and constitution saving throw. I've never seen that spell suggested neither here nor in 3d6.
However it's important to note, that Ray of Enfeeblement does not have an initial Saving Throw to the first round effect, only Hit (and thank Gygax for that). So theoretically if you're facing a dragon and you got nothing better to do, you can spam it every turn just to diminish the damage of 1 round of attacks. This spell has another problem, is that tinkering with it in simple ways would make it too good.
Now, there is another 2nd level debuff that is also not popular but is just Con Save. That spell is Blindness/Deafness. It's just a con Save but it gains both Disadvantage to Hit and Advantage to being hit. I think it's dope thematically.
What I'm trying to say is that I wish these spells were kinda good for their own reasons. blindness/Deafness for example is not concentration; meanwhile Bane has a lesser effect but it is AoE and targets a way easier save to land at low levels.
Now, the playtest introduced Chthonic Tiefling, that species has Ray of Enfeeblement but it gets it at level 5 instead of 3. When you're level 5 and you're a fullcaster you have other spells like the new Conjure Animals or Hypnotic Pattern or Spirit Guardians, which are 3rd level but are very effective for their level. This means that you're not likely to use it for the single encounter of the day if you only have 1 encounter a day. Now I don't want to steer this into how many encounters a day a yada yada, that's not the focus. The focus is that the spell is not considered good enough for it's level.
My perception is that in theory that spell is a bit better than people think simply because in some cases, a hit is easier to land than a con Save.
I'm not a designer. I'm not gonna pretend I have the perfect design solution to make the spell meta. There's so many things you can change to the spell and make it too good very easily and that is also a problem.
I still have this burning desire to have this spell more suggested simply because a lot of DMs don't homebrew spells. The majority of DMs (I've encountered) simply say no to a request to change a spell and they have solid reasons to do so.
You have no idea how many times I wanted to pick Infestation but the cantrip was simply just not good. What happens is that you end up picking Toll the Dead every single time and your best bet is to reskin it to adapt to every character which is a symptom of discrepancy between spells.
There was an old post that I made on how Toll the Dead repetition made me empathize with martial problems that just spam attack and that's it. It was Toll the Dead that opened my eyes on how variety of actions is a satisfying aspect of a combat game. That post was well received.
Some Con saves are just not good enough. I don't know if you're aware, some of you are, but Poison Spray has been changed from con save to hit. I was so freaking happy for the change. Ray of Sickness is another spell that requires the hit to land in order for the con save to occur. Is that spell suggested? Well the answer is that people prefer other spells to it like Command, Dissonant Whispers, Guiding Bolt.
Spells can be different and both spells can be good for their own reasons. For example Slow isn't prioritized over Hypnotic Pattern, but Slow can affect more types of targets and doesn't end if you attack the target.
I'm crossing my fingers at this point for Ray of Enfeeblement
Now, if your only response is to just pick it anyway, you're missing the point. The point is that we have the right to bring up balance problems about anything that we want to play. Remember that people felt bad about Rangers in the past. Some are currently feeling bad about monk, even though there is hope for future monk. Don't brush it off as "just play it anyway".

Hi everyone,
I'm a 22-year-old male who recently went through a breakup with my girlfriend of 3 years. She’s a year younger than me, and we graduated together. We broke up two months ago, and I’m feeling really conflicted about it.
Our relationship had become toxic, with frequent fights and both of us struggling with our own issues. I felt that we needed to address our personal problems separately. We were planning to study abroad and live together, with dreams of getting married and starting a family abroad. However, I worried that if we didn’t break up then, we’d end up trapped in an unhealthy relationship.
For the past two months, I’ve been seeing a psychologist weekly, and it’s been incredibly helpful. I’ve realized that I might have contributed to many of the issues in our relationship. It’s hard to separate what was my fault and what she needs to work on herself.
She was a wonderful person—gentle, empathetic, and truly loving. However, I was bothered by her lack of ambition, which I didn’t find attractive. My psychologist helped me see that I probably imposed my worldview on her. I expected her to follow a similar path to mine (good grades, internships, etc.), which I now realize was wrong. My well-intentioned advice likely made her feel constantly judged, affecting her self-confidence, which later became another issue in our relationship.
Reflecting on the relationship, I’ve come to understand that I took many things for granted. I could have been a better boyfriend by showing more interest in her passions and being more romantic. I can’t stop thinking that if I hadn’t imposed my ideas of success on her and had been more supportive, she might have had more self-confidence and become more ambitious by herself.
However, she did have self-confidence issues before we met, due to a toxic family environment. When we broke up, I tried to do it respectfully, explaining my reasons and ending on good terms. I asked for no contact, which she mostly respected (except for one message wishing me good luck with something important I had to do). She asked if we could set a date to possibly try again, but I said I didn’t want to make any promises because of the uncertainty and potential for more hurt.
I’ve been wanting to reach out to her to see how she’s been, but I don’t want to hurt her again. I’m still learning a lot about myself and trying to change my utilitarian view of the world, shaped by my life experiences.
We’ll both be starting the same studies abroad in a few months, so we’ll see each other again.
I don't know if this is relevant at all, but for some context, I believe in having a deep connection before any physical relationship, so I’m not interested in dating anyone else right now.
I’m conflicted because I now see her in a new light and realize I wasn’t the best boyfriend. But I’m also unsure if this newfound perspective is genuine personal growth facilitated by my sessions with the psychologist, or if it’s just regret and idealization. Additionally, I’m afraid that if we were to try again, she may not have addressed her personal issues yet.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do I balance these feelings, especially considering she has her own issues to work through?
Thanks for reading, and I appreciate any advice you can offer.

not gonna make this extremely long, but hello! i’m looking for a long term friendship, please don’t interact if you don’t have intentions of actively speaking and pursuing a friendship. i don’t get reddit notifications, so we’ll have to switch to discord if hit it off
i’m looking for someone who’s into yapping and playing games, that’s pretty much it. i play on pc, so meeting someone who also plays on pc or plays any mutual games that are cross play compatible would be great
i’m a big lil peep fan, i’d love to become friends with someone who is as well who would like to listen to his music together and chill ^{^}
a few of the shows i’m into are shameless, regular show, adventure time, death note, bojack horseman & p much anything in the horror genre
if you have an nsfw account or message anything creepy/suggestive you won’t get a reply

2-2.5k Budget Gaming Pc
Been wanting a pc for a while, looking for something’s that’s gonna last. Thanks in advance.
What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
High-end gaming, mostly competitive multiplayer but will be playing every game you can imagine (Cod, Siege, Elden Ring, Cyberpunk, DayZ) and work/life things
>**What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?*\*
$2k-2.5k USD, could push towards 2.7k for better aesthetics
>**When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.*\*
This or next week.
>**What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)*\*
Keyboard, mouse, and a monitor.
>**Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?*\*
United States (MA). Have access to micro center.
>**If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.*\*
None
>**Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?*\*
Maybe in the future
>**Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)*\*
Today I got the 7800x3d bundle at MicroCenter and plan on getting the 4080 super
>**Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?*\*
I’m inbetween an aio or air cooler. Feel like the PC has to look nice if I’m spending nearly 3 grand on it and air coolers don’t look great to me. Love RGB and I like black over white. Will definitely want extra fans for better aesthetic
I really like the Kraken Elite aio cooler
>**Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?*\*
Will need a copy of Windows 11 but can be separate from the build budget.
>**Extra info or particulars:*\*

Hi Y'all. I'm Back!! Good to be home and back to offering vintage goodness for you. Things went very well on my trip and I couldn't be happier!
I have added a late addition to this post. Hope my nug fiends are paying attention :) Check out the 7.35g raw Oregon nugget!!
Just before I left someone wanted to trade me for a 100oz Engelhard bar, but I can't find the chat. If that was you, please reach out.
PROOF & ALBUM - https://imgur.com/a/05RvTjO
Offers accepted if you think my prices are off.
More pics available via chat. Just ask.
BIN it and Win it. First to BIN gets it. Otherwise I decide the order in which I respond to chats.
/--------------------------
SILVER
I would trade these for more weight :)
1x - 25oz Omega Mint Kit-Kat bar - $925
1x - 25oz International Mint Corp Kit-kat Bars - $925
/--------------------------
GOLD
1x - 7.3g Raw gold nugget from Oregon. Its a seriously beautiful specimen - $750 And ask me about the 11.25g nug I will have next week if you want to see some pics.
1x - 1/2 oz gold Johnson Matthey Cortez Mine Safety Award, rare bar. Sealed in original packaging and is in mint condition. - $1375
/--------------------------
PAYMENT - Zelle or Venmo (NO NOTES), Paypal F&F, CashApp, fiat cash, checks, money orders. Checks and Money orders need to fully clear first before I ship anything.
SHIPPING - $5-9. Insurance at your request, charged at cost. I pack and ship like I like to receive it. Nicely secured, padded, and no jingling. I hand deliver to post office for scanning and will provide tracking.
RESPONSIBILITY - It ends when the package shows delivered in tracking. If you have a problem with porch pirates I recommend signature confirmation, which I can provide at cost. All items verified on a Sigma at my LCS. I stand behind what I sell 100%.
SECURITY - All my proof pictures will contain my ZENPATHFINDER silver round name badge that u/UnresolvedEgo made. I love it. You should consider a name badge of your own if you sell. I am no dummy and any "mod" that says I am banned and they need my password to see my chats gets a nice teabagging pic and is reported. I will always use my custom name tag to provide proof, just ask.

Anonymous because I don’t want this attached to my main. And sorry for any sloppy grammar I don’t really know how to format this in a way that others can.
I,22M, having been dating my girlfriend, 29F, for a year as of yesterday. Today, however, she reveals to me that she thinks we have a good connection but not a great one. And that she would be heartbroken if we broke up but tells me that she thinks of her ex as home and has never felt that way with me. She tells me that she doesn’t want to go back with him because he was an abuser. I’m afraid that she’s only with me because I am her safety net and that she doesn’t actually love me. I even asked her and she told me she loves me “in a way”. I haven’t really been in a serious relationship before her so I don’t know if I’m missing any red flags or things to consider.
TLDR; my girlfriend told me she thinks my connection with her is good and not great and she had a better one with her ex.
Any advice appreciated and I’ll answer any further questions to provide clarity.

There is no tldr, I don’t know how to summarize this. If you have time PLEASE read. I need opinions/advice/anything. Just please be kind with how you word whatever you want to say if you read to the end. Please. I’m not okay and I don’t have anywhere to go.
I have adopted children with a narcissist ex (friends that think the term narcissist is overused, which I agree with, have told me I’m the exception which is great and validating but who wants to be THAT exception??) My children are beyond high needs. It’s all mental, none of it physical so no one can see it readily. I’ve been divorced long enough I did a little healing. That seems to have made my ability to tolerate being treated horribly much much worse than when I was in the middle of it because I’m not numb anymore. I love my kids. I never wanted any, but my ex did. I let myself get convinced. I let myself fall in love with them. But I hate my life. I’m worried at this rate I won’t be there for them as they get older anyway. I worry I can’t be mentally and psychologically abused by my children every day they are with me, regardless of how much it’s in their control, while never really being able to have space from their father who abused me in every way but leaving a bruise that would show as proof it actually happened. I hate myself. I hate how I can’t be what I know they deserve me to be. My ex has what appears to be a fairly decent new girlfriend. They have a baby together (conceived 2 months after separation and probably within a week of us deciding on divorce). Overall I like her though there’s times she sides with him more than logic dictates but I’ve been in a relationship with him and I know what disagreements feel like so I’m doing my best not to blame her too much. With the foster agency we filled out a checklist of behaviors etc we were okay with and ones we weren’t. The agency did such a horrible job following up on anything the entire year they were “working” with the family prior to removal that they said the kids had no known behaviors when they actually check more than 90% of the boxes we said we weren’t okay with. I know none of this is the kids fault but I also know my limits and abilities and some I ignored and others were ignored by other people. I didn’t want kids. I didn’t want to parent alone. I didn’t want kids with more diagnoses and issues than I can count. I recognize that while I was being manipulated etc etc I may not have been as in control of my choices as I’d like to think I always am. I prefer to take responsibility for myself, often far more than is reasonable. I can’t stand to have any contact with their father. It hurts in a way I didn’t know my feelings could make me physically hurt. I don’t know how to live like this. I don’t know how long I can live like this. I want the best for my kids, I truly love them. So much it hurts me. But I want to live. I want to be okay. Either that or I want to be done. But just knowing the next decade or more of my life is going to be something that never lets me be okay, and hurts constantly, in ways I can’t put into words. How do I live with that? I don’t know that I will I matter how much I try. While I’m in this situation, I don’t see a way I’ll ever be okay. I can’t see how I can be any kind of good example of what to aspire to when you grow up let alone survive long enough for it to matter. Half of me thinks relinquishing my 50% custody would be better for them and 50% doesn’t. I 100% know it’s better for me but fuck me, I can’t do something better for myself just at their expense. If I could I’d have done what would have been better for everyone and disrupted the placement before adopting but that wouldn’t have been better for them at the time, just in hindsight. I don’t have friends, I have 2 people in my life I can talk to and they’re family and I don’t know how to say any of this in this sort of brutally honest way to them. I just need to know how crazy I am. Am I crazy selfish and internet just shove it down and deal or is thinking I deserve to be okay too much because I already made the commitment? But this isn’t what I was committing to. But that’s not their fault. Is giving custody to my ex better for them, knowing all the narcissistic behaviors, but hoping the kids won’t suffer from them in the way I did, because if he treated them like he treated me it would look bad and people WOULD see it, which isn’t usually when narcissists are at their most destructive. Or is it worse for them for me to be half present; or maybe eventually die. Because I’ve sadly had the people that know what it entails for me to keep them and to have to continue interacting with their dad, tell me if I keep them that I’m not going to live more than a year anyway.

I have been in a polygamous relationship for the past year. I have 4 girlfriends and we all love each other

My father is old but still has a fair bit of life ahead of him. He was a decent provider for our family and has never been violent or had affairs etc. Him and my mum are still together although there is no passion in their relationship. He’s never bothered to do anything for our (mum and my) birthdays - no cakes, no celebration, no gifts. Anniversary and Christmas are not celebrated, even though these things would mean a lot to mum and I.
I’ve expressed how mum and I feel to him and he dismisses it, claiming he does enough by providing a house, keeping the gardens in order, paying my school fees etc when I was a kid. Noting that mum worked and contributed just as much financially and probably did more in the parenting department, and both her and I do make the effort with birthday’s (even his) etc.
He’s a very well liked person amongst his extended family, friends and acquaintances as he is extremely likeable at a shallow level but doesn’t care for making the effort to show love in a meaningful way to those closest to him. he didn’t show up to my mother’s 70s birthday get away or the interstate funerals of her parents.
WIBTA if I/we did not arrange a memorial or funeral for him when the time comes?

So my girlfriend (technically fiancé) and I both lived in North Carolina she is temporarily in California donating her stem cells and her kidney to her son who needs them. She’s been very very off lately due to the stress and everything and I’m not trying to push her but in the beginning when she was out there we talked about me coming there for a week to visit she been there for 2 months now and won’t be back for good till mid August but like I said we talked about it and scheduling has been changing and she’s been mentally exhausted how do I bring it up and actually set plans to come see her without stressing her out. To be honest I don’t even know if she wants that but then again she is very stingy with money and hates people spending money on her and she sees it being very expensive to visit her.
Also lately she’s been saying love you instead of I love you and I’ve read there is a difference I’m scared she’s falling out of love cause love you just sounds like a yeah yeah yeah 👍🏼 love you but I love you sounds more intense and intimate and meaningful.
Please help