Level d vocabulary answer sadlier oxford
Constructed Languages for Language Geeks
2009.12.16 10:57 Selenolycus Constructed Languages for Language Geeks
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2024.06.02 08:50 CosmicScout180 3 Questions I'd liked answered please kind redditors!
Hello everyone!
I have a few questions hoping to get some solid answers for!
submitted by CosmicScout180 to TibiaMMO [link] [comments]
I have a few questions hoping to get some solid answers for!
- Do teams ever take double paladins on Teamhunts?
- I hear that knight gives you carpal tunnel to play and I had some pains in my hands and wrists from time to time when playing spammy things so is this true about knights?
- My wife and I have made new characters on Yovera from scratch doing double paladins at the moment cause we enjoy the ease of a paladin and have heard at higher levels they are also easy to play. so my final question is any englishing speaking active guilds on an optional pvp server looking for some new recruits? :D
2024.06.02 07:47 Mono_Construction I inherited a magic 8 ball, it just predicted my wife's death.
Life was perfectly normal and mundane until the day I inherited the Magic 8 Ball from a distant relative who had recently passed away. At first, it seemed like a quirky keepsake, a relic of childhood nostalgia. But as I held it in my hands one overcast evening, an unsettling feeling crept over me. There was something off about it, a strange, almost ominous vibe that seemed to emanate from its old, worn surface. I glanced at my wife, blissfully unaware, sitting across the room. Our love had always felt like a sanctuary, yet now, this seemingly innocuous toy had introduced an inexplicable sense of dread into our home. It just felt off, like something not meant to induce tension into the air but certainly did at the time. I never mentioned it to Anna since the evening was beautiful, and the mood was full of anticipation for the upcoming playoff game. We were looking forward to some good old hockey. As a joke, I asked the Magic 8 Ball if our home team was going to win the game, chuckling at the childish stupidity that brought back fond memories of my youth.
“Cannot say now,” the 8 Ball in my calloused hand read a few seconds later.
I wasn't surprised by the answer, knowing it was just a toy with a limited set of responses. Maybe I'd ask it again during the first intermission, I thought to myself. As the puck dropped, the game started with a few penalties and a goal against us just before the initial 20 minutes of the period ended. I had almost forgotten about the toy relic that had been passed down to me recently. As the first intermission progressed, I picked up the 8 Ball again and asked if our team would win against the opposing team.
“Certainly, it will be legendary,” I read after a short pause.
Initially, I thought it was an odd answer, but what did I know? It was probably made in the '60s when people were a bit more open-minded to quirky responses. I smiled at Anna and showed her the response. She found it funny, and her laugh, as always, became the highlight of the moment. Her laughter has always been the center point of my love and affection for her, making her the undeniable lead honcho in any group she’s a part of. During the 2nd and 3rd periods, we witnessed our home team not only tie the game but score an additional 4 goals in rapid succession against the opposing team. It was not only legendary as the 8 Ball predicted, but it also sent the stadium into a roaring frenzy. Later, it was said that the noise level matched that of an Airbus A-220.
"It seems the Magic 8 Ball helped me win my $20 bet on our home team," I said confidently to my wife. "Probably just by chance, but who knows? I could use it to predict Friday's lottery numbers."
She smiled and told me to give it a shot, but I knew it was futile. Just like trying not to wake Anna up while leaving for work, it always ended with her sensing the creaking floorboards. About a few days had passed before we ended up having a heated argument about the dreaded topic of having kids in the future, I of course never want the sobbing, snot wheezing kids that take up 150% of your future time and life that could be used for retirement time in Hawaii. But, of course, she had bipolar opposite views on the topic. She wanted kids, perhaps to sow our six-year marriage back together. I, on the other hand, was dead set against it, feeling as if she were trying to force feed me a hefty dose of the plague. At the time, I had just stormed out of the room to cool off and muttered something I still regret to this day.
“Damn it, when will Anna's obsession with having kids ever end?” I grumbled to myself in frustration.
Suddenly, the 8 ball I’d left in the den flashed with a bright white light, like a screen turning on. Just as quickly, the flash disappeared, replaced by a simple message on its black surface.
“Soon enough, Derrick,” the ball read, almost mockingly.
My focus shifted from Anna's relentless talk about kids to the unnerving fact that the 8 ball not only knew my name but also had an answer for such a ridiculous question. I hadn’t even touched the thing—don’t you need to shake it for it to work? At this point, I was tempted to toss that relic into the trash and be done with it, but being a bit stubborn, I decided to let the demonic thing be and left it to its own devices. A few days had passed, and Anna and I had made up after our brief argument on that chilly Tuesday afternoon when I got home from work. She promised to hold off on bringing it up again for a while and to let me consider our options going forward. Life has been running smoothly again, and our home hockey team won their semi-finals match today, heading to the finals. Anna and I are caught up in the excitement of tomorrow night's game and are pretty pleased with how this year has gone, especially with our 7th anniversary just around the corner!
Work has been dragging lately, and I find myself just wanting to fast-forward to the day I wake up next to Anna and kiss her passionately on our long-awaited 7th anniversary, which is now just a few days away. As for the 8 ball of unknown origin, it's still just sitting dormant in the den. To be honest, I'm quite surprised it hasn't detonated or flashbanged me again whenever I step in there to grab some work files on clients. But no, it just sits there menacingly, waiting to tell me something I don't want to hear.
Anna and I had planned a special outing for our 7th anniversary. We decided to visit our favorite local donut shop around noon. As we prepared to leave, I grabbed the old magic 8 ball, intending to throw it away on the way there. As we approached the intersection on 136th street, the light was red. With a playful smile, I asked the 8 ball one last question.
"Will the light turn green soon?" I asked, grinning at my overjoyed wife.
"Unfortunately, yes," the 8 ball replied.
I showed Anna the response, and she chuckled, thinking the toy wanted us to be stuck at the red light. When the light turned green, we started to cross the intersection. Suddenly, Anna gasped and clutched her chest. I managed to swerve to the side of the road just in time to avoid an oncoming car. I pulled over, my heart pounding, and turned to her in panic.
"Anna, what's wrong?" I asked, fear gripping me.
"I don't know," she whispered, her face pale and sweaty. "I just feel... so weak."
I rushed her to the hospital, where doctors ran a series of tests. After what felt like an eternity, they diagnosed her with a rare and severe illness. The news hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt the world spinning around me. For the next few weeks, Anna's condition worsened. I spent every moment by her side, watching helplessly as she battled the illness. The magic 8 ball sat untouched in the den, its last message haunting me.
"Unfortunately, yes," it had said.
Despite the grim prognosis, Anna showed that sickness can't stop her indominable human spirit. We took things one day at a time, finding solace in each other's company. Our 7th anniversary passed quietly in the hospital, but it was a day filled with love rather than despair. As the weeks turned into months, Anna's condition slowly worsened. The doctors were hoping it would get better eventually.
One day, I decided to confront the magic 8 ball. I picked it up and asked, "Will Anna get better?"
The answer floated to the surface: "Signs point to no."
I refused to showed Anna the response, it would only make things worse. We placed the 8 ball back on the shelf, as a relic of doomful honesty, but as a symbol of the future and the past. Our journey wasn't over yet, I have to spend as much time with her before she departs.
submitted by Mono_Construction to libraryofshadows [link] [comments]
“Cannot say now,” the 8 Ball in my calloused hand read a few seconds later.
I wasn't surprised by the answer, knowing it was just a toy with a limited set of responses. Maybe I'd ask it again during the first intermission, I thought to myself. As the puck dropped, the game started with a few penalties and a goal against us just before the initial 20 minutes of the period ended. I had almost forgotten about the toy relic that had been passed down to me recently. As the first intermission progressed, I picked up the 8 Ball again and asked if our team would win against the opposing team.
“Certainly, it will be legendary,” I read after a short pause.
Initially, I thought it was an odd answer, but what did I know? It was probably made in the '60s when people were a bit more open-minded to quirky responses. I smiled at Anna and showed her the response. She found it funny, and her laugh, as always, became the highlight of the moment. Her laughter has always been the center point of my love and affection for her, making her the undeniable lead honcho in any group she’s a part of. During the 2nd and 3rd periods, we witnessed our home team not only tie the game but score an additional 4 goals in rapid succession against the opposing team. It was not only legendary as the 8 Ball predicted, but it also sent the stadium into a roaring frenzy. Later, it was said that the noise level matched that of an Airbus A-220.
"It seems the Magic 8 Ball helped me win my $20 bet on our home team," I said confidently to my wife. "Probably just by chance, but who knows? I could use it to predict Friday's lottery numbers."
She smiled and told me to give it a shot, but I knew it was futile. Just like trying not to wake Anna up while leaving for work, it always ended with her sensing the creaking floorboards. About a few days had passed before we ended up having a heated argument about the dreaded topic of having kids in the future, I of course never want the sobbing, snot wheezing kids that take up 150% of your future time and life that could be used for retirement time in Hawaii. But, of course, she had bipolar opposite views on the topic. She wanted kids, perhaps to sow our six-year marriage back together. I, on the other hand, was dead set against it, feeling as if she were trying to force feed me a hefty dose of the plague. At the time, I had just stormed out of the room to cool off and muttered something I still regret to this day.
“Damn it, when will Anna's obsession with having kids ever end?” I grumbled to myself in frustration.
Suddenly, the 8 ball I’d left in the den flashed with a bright white light, like a screen turning on. Just as quickly, the flash disappeared, replaced by a simple message on its black surface.
“Soon enough, Derrick,” the ball read, almost mockingly.
My focus shifted from Anna's relentless talk about kids to the unnerving fact that the 8 ball not only knew my name but also had an answer for such a ridiculous question. I hadn’t even touched the thing—don’t you need to shake it for it to work? At this point, I was tempted to toss that relic into the trash and be done with it, but being a bit stubborn, I decided to let the demonic thing be and left it to its own devices. A few days had passed, and Anna and I had made up after our brief argument on that chilly Tuesday afternoon when I got home from work. She promised to hold off on bringing it up again for a while and to let me consider our options going forward. Life has been running smoothly again, and our home hockey team won their semi-finals match today, heading to the finals. Anna and I are caught up in the excitement of tomorrow night's game and are pretty pleased with how this year has gone, especially with our 7th anniversary just around the corner!
Work has been dragging lately, and I find myself just wanting to fast-forward to the day I wake up next to Anna and kiss her passionately on our long-awaited 7th anniversary, which is now just a few days away. As for the 8 ball of unknown origin, it's still just sitting dormant in the den. To be honest, I'm quite surprised it hasn't detonated or flashbanged me again whenever I step in there to grab some work files on clients. But no, it just sits there menacingly, waiting to tell me something I don't want to hear.
Anna and I had planned a special outing for our 7th anniversary. We decided to visit our favorite local donut shop around noon. As we prepared to leave, I grabbed the old magic 8 ball, intending to throw it away on the way there. As we approached the intersection on 136th street, the light was red. With a playful smile, I asked the 8 ball one last question.
"Will the light turn green soon?" I asked, grinning at my overjoyed wife.
"Unfortunately, yes," the 8 ball replied.
I showed Anna the response, and she chuckled, thinking the toy wanted us to be stuck at the red light. When the light turned green, we started to cross the intersection. Suddenly, Anna gasped and clutched her chest. I managed to swerve to the side of the road just in time to avoid an oncoming car. I pulled over, my heart pounding, and turned to her in panic.
"Anna, what's wrong?" I asked, fear gripping me.
"I don't know," she whispered, her face pale and sweaty. "I just feel... so weak."
I rushed her to the hospital, where doctors ran a series of tests. After what felt like an eternity, they diagnosed her with a rare and severe illness. The news hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt the world spinning around me. For the next few weeks, Anna's condition worsened. I spent every moment by her side, watching helplessly as she battled the illness. The magic 8 ball sat untouched in the den, its last message haunting me.
"Unfortunately, yes," it had said.
Despite the grim prognosis, Anna showed that sickness can't stop her indominable human spirit. We took things one day at a time, finding solace in each other's company. Our 7th anniversary passed quietly in the hospital, but it was a day filled with love rather than despair. As the weeks turned into months, Anna's condition slowly worsened. The doctors were hoping it would get better eventually.
One day, I decided to confront the magic 8 ball. I picked it up and asked, "Will Anna get better?"
The answer floated to the surface: "Signs point to no."
I refused to showed Anna the response, it would only make things worse. We placed the 8 ball back on the shelf, as a relic of doomful honesty, but as a symbol of the future and the past. Our journey wasn't over yet, I have to spend as much time with her before she departs.
2024.06.02 07:40 TheOneWithDoggo Let the Old Dreams Die Retold Concepts: Boys Night Out
Adam and D-Sides Boyfriend, or DS for short, were deep into a game of Super Mario Bros Wonder on the Nintendo Switch."Yeah, this game is pretty good!" Adam agreed, just as the doorbell rang. He paused the game and got up. "Hang on, I gotta see who's at the door." Boyfriend nodded, and Adam walked to the front door. Opening it, he found Owen and Oskar standing there. "I often forget you know where I live," Adam remarked. Oskar darted inside, eager to escape Owen’s company. "Hi," Owen said, following more slowly. Owen took one couch, and Oskar took another, each eyeing the other warily.
Adam broke the silence. "So, where are your girlfriends tonight?" "Busy," they both replied in unison. "Well, okay then," Adam said. "I’m playing Mario Wonder with Boyfriend. Want to join?"
"You have a boyfriend?" Oskar asked incredulously. "No, his name is Boyfriend," Adam clarified. "You’re joking," Owen said, skeptical. "Nope. Hey BF, come out here!" Adam called. DS stepped out and waved. "Beep!" "Huh, you’re right," Oskar admitted.
Just then, someone knocked on the side door. "Hold on," Adam said, heading over. He opened it to find Isaiah and Eleanor. "Hi, Adam!" Eleanor greeted cheerfully. "Hi, guys!" Adam responded. Isaiah walked in, stopping when he saw Owen and Oskar. "Oh...who are you guys?" Isaiah asked. "I’m Oskar," Oskar replied. "I’m Owen," Owen added. Eleanor followed Adam, who closed the door behind them. "So, since there are more people here than usual, any ideas on what to do tonight?" Adam asked. "Beep Bo Bap!" DS beeped. "Boys' Night Out?" Adam suggested. "Boys' Night Out?" Owen repeated, confused. "It’s basically when just the guys go out for the night and have fun!" Adam explained.
"So, basically anything?" Oskar asked. "Yeah, as long as it’s legal," Adam said. "Are you okay with it, Eleanor?" Isaiah asked. Eleanor smiled and nodded. "Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Your sister is home, right, Adam?" "Yeah, but she was a bit snappy earlier. I wouldn’t bother her," Adam warned. "Where would we go, anyway?" Owen asked. "Beep bap!" DS suggested. "Yeah, we can go to Applebee's," Adam said. "I’m okay with that," Isaiah agreed. "Can we go to the casino afterward?" Owen asked. Everyone stared at him in confusion. "Dude, we’re all 12-14 except for BF," Adam said. "Oh right," Owen realized. "We can go to the arcade next," Isaiah suggested. "That works," Adam said. "What about after that?" Oskar asked. "We'll figure it out. Ready to go?" Adam asked. "Yeah, I’m ready," Isaiah said. Owen got up. "Let’s go." Adam, DS, and Oskar followed. "Bye, Eleanor! We'll be back in a bit!" Isaiah said. Eleanor waved as the boys left.
After a bit, they finally arrived at Applebee's. "Alright boys, welcome to Applebee's. You know what I love about this place? The culture. I usually have a burger, but sometimes I switch it up. First meal, you’re in Asia; next meal, you’re in Greece!" Adam said.
"Beep bap bo!" DS chimed in. "Exactly, I feel like I need a passport to eat here!" Adam laughed. "So what do you recommend?" Isaiah asked. "What do I recommend? Isaiah, this is Applebee's. I recommend all of it! Wait, you're from New York, right?" Adam asked. "Yeah. Why?" Isaiah asked. "Brooklyn or Queens?" Adam asked. "Manhattan," Isaiah said. "Did you not go to Applebee's before?" Adam asked. "No, not really," Isaiah said. "Well, that's fine. You’re gonna love it," Adam assured him.
After a bit, the waitress came over. Adam’s heart sank. It was Mary Lou Maloney, a familiar face to him but not to the others. "Hello, welcome to Applebee's. My name is Mary, and I'll be your server tonight," Mary Lou said.
"Beep!" DS said."Y-Yeah..." Adam stammered, clearly unsettled. Mary Lou focused on Adam. "How about we start with you, handsome?" she asked, getting close and rubbing his hair. "What would you like to drink?" "Uh, I would like a..." Adam began to say. "You want a lemonade, right?" Mary Lou suggested. "Y-Yeah, that works," Adam said, visibly uneasy. Oskar looked at Adam, puzzled by his behavior. "I’ll have water," Oskar said. "I’ll have a Pepsi," Isaiah added. "Beep bo bap!" DS said. "He said he’ll have a Coke," Adam translated. "I'll take a water too," Owen said.
Mary Lou smiled and walked away. Adam faced the ground, holding his head. "Adam, are you okay? You acted strange when the waitress came," Oskar observed. "No, no, I’m fine. Just a bit hungry, that’s all," Adam lied, unconvincingly. "Who was that? You acted like she was your mom. Oh my god, was that your mom?" Owen asked. "What? No, that's not my mom. Look at me," Adam said. "Beep bap bo, skidoo bap?" DS asked. "No, not my ex or girlfriend..." Adam said. "Then who is it?" Isaiah asked. "Well, she's... a friend of mine. Yeah, a friend. I forgot she worked here," Adam said.
Mary Lou returned with their drinks, still grinning. "I have your drinks, boys. Now, may I take your orders?" "Yeah, that would be nice," Isaiah said. Mary Lou turned towards Adam. "Hey!" she said. "...Yeah?" Adam replied. "You want a classic bacon burger, right? Well done, fries seasoned?" Mary Lou asked. Adam’s heart dropped. "Y-Yeah..." "I’ll have a chicken sandwich," Isaiah said. "How do you want that cooked?" Mary Lou asked. "Crispy," Isaiah replied. "I’m not hungry, thanks," Oskar said. "I’m not hungry either," Owen added. Owen and Oskar exchanged glances, both thinking, "What's your excuse?" "Beep bo bap do bop!" DS said. "Alright, I’ll be back in a bit!" Mary Lou said, leaving with a tune. "Not your girlfriend, eh?" DS teased. "Why are you speaking English now?" Isaiah asked.
Meanwhile, Eleanor knocked on Esther’s door, but there was no answer. "Hello?" Eleanor called, knocking again. "Go away, Adam, or I’ll stab you," Esther threatened from inside. "But... I’m not Adam," Eleanor said. Esther opened the door and looked up at Eleanor. "Who are you?" "My name is Eleanor. You’re Adam’s little sister, right?" Eleanor asked. Esther groaned and tried to close the door, but Eleanor held it open. "Hey, what are you—" Esther began to say, but Eleanor's grip was strong. The door cracked as Eleanor instinctively burst it open, then sprinted off. "What the fu—"
Back at Applebee's, Mary Lou brought the food over, still grinning. "Enjoy your food!" she said, passing it around before leaving. "Damn BF, those nachos look tasty," Adam said. BF nodded, taking a bite and giving a thumbs up. Owen and Oskar’s stomachs growled. "You sure you aren't hungry? It’s not too late to order something," Adam offered. "I'm fine," Oskar said. "Yeah, me too," Owen agreed.
After around 20 minutes of eating, the food was done. "Wow, that burger was delicious," Adam said. "Beep…." DS said. "Yeah, it was," Isaiah said. Mary Lou came back. "I hope you enjoyed your food, now who's paying?" Mary Lou asked. Everyone looked at each other. "Uh, can you give us a second?" Adam asked. She nodded and left.
"Alright, I'm fine with paying if I need to but are there any takers?" Adam asked.
"...This might work," Oskar said. He pulled out Swedish cash from his pocket. "...Oskar, that's Swedish currency. I don't think that's gonna work." Adam said. "Oh…" Oskar said. "Wait, Oskar, are you Swedish?" Isaiah asked. "Yeah, Eli too," Oskar said. "Huh, I mean I can kind of hear it in your voice," Adam said.
Mary Lou came back and leaned close behind Adam. "You know, if you can't pay, if you come in the back with me Handsome, I'll let you off free…." Mary Lou said. Adam turned red as everyone turned towards him, dazed, surprised, and confused. “Uh..Uh..” Adam begins to say, dazed and confused. “Think about it handsome. I'll be back in a bit..” Mary Lou said, kissing him on the cheek. She walked away, humming to herself. Everyone just stared at Adam. “Did…Did she just…?” Oskar began to say. “I think…?” Owen began to say. Isaiah just stared at the ground.
“Bro, I think the waitress just offered to let us go free if-” DS-Boyfriend began to say, but Adam cut him off. “Boyfriend for everyone's safety DON'T finish that sentence,” Adam said. “...Are…Are you going to say something about what just happened….?” Isaiah asked. “I would rather not…” Adam said. Everyone just stared at each other. “You know what? I'll pay. That way we can simply move on.” DS said. “Really?” Owen asked. “Dude, when a waitress offers to bang your best friend to get out of a restaurant without paying, that's when you know you gotta get the f**k out of dodge,” DS said. “Hey, nice reference,” Isaiah said. “Thanks,” replied. “How can you afford to pay?” Owen asked.
“My parents are CEOS of big companies, that's how,” DS-Boyfriend said.
“Hey Adam, can you get the waitress?” DS-Boyfriend asked. “...Why me?” Adam asked. DS-Boyfriend gave a sh*t-eating grin. “Oh you gotta be kidding me,” Adam said agitated. “Hey, don’t look at me, she’s the one into you,” DS said. Adam rolled his eyes and got up, but when he turned around, he bumped into Mary Lou, who was walking back to the table. “Oh hey! Taking my offer?” Mary Lou asked. Before anything could happen DS stepped in. “Actually he was going to get you so we can get the hell outta here,” DS said. Mary Lou looked down before nodding her head. “Alright, we can have some fun another time then.” Mary Lou suggested. Adam turned red again as DS got up from his seat and handed Adam the Money. “Here you go,” Adam said. Mary took it and smiled. “Alright, you can go! Have fun boys!” Mary Lou said with a creepy smile. The others got up from their chairs and quickly left through the door. But before Adam could Leave, Mary Lou grabbed his arm. “...This was nice. Can we do this again sometime?” She asked. Adam shrugged. “I guess so,” Adam said. Mary Lou smiled. She took off Adam’s hat and rubbed his hair. “... It's a date then, see you later…alligator.” Mary Lou said. “YO ADAM, WHAT’S THE HOLD-UP, COME ON!” DS yelled. Adam turned and left through the door.
Eleanor was sitting outside on the steps in the backyard, thinking to herself about what transpired. She didn’t know what came over herself, she didn’t even mean to get so aggressive. She was about to just get up and go take a walk down the road when she noticed a toy Rabbit sitting near the gate. It wasn’t there before. It was grey, and one of its eyelids was drooped down. It had a red vest and a blue bowtie and its eyes were purple. “Where did you come from?” Eleanor asked. The toy roared to life. “R-R-R-Ready to Rocket!” the toy belted. Eleanor gasped out of surprise and dropped the toy, causing it to stutter on one line. “Bon is here- Bon is here- Bon is here- Bon is here- Bon is-” But then the rabbit stopped, its eye slowly turning to look at something in front of it. “H-H-Hi Bon!” Eleanor looked up and saw him. A large 7 ft rabbit animatronic stood in front of the gate, but he looked…damaged. The rabbit had a white latex mask, with a cigar in his mouth and its eyes glowed a bit white as it stood there.He wore a red bowtie connected to a dickie. The torso had a large hole in it, and it was…slightly lined with blood. His vest was tattered and damaged. It had a bunch of holes in it. He had a name tag on his vest “HELLO! MY NAME IS BON.” But it was slightly ripped. His lower arms were exposed with an endoskeleton, but the fingers looked like claws. His lower legs were exposed with an endoskeleton as well. Bon wasn’t looking at her at first before his eyes slowly tilted towards her. The rabbit slowly moved its head, a creaking sound coming from it. The mouth opened, and at first, nothing came out, but then it spoke. “M-My. Name. Is. BON.” The rabbit went to walk towards Eleanor when Esther opened the side door. “Hey. Knew I’d find you out here.” Esther mentioned. Eleanor looked back, but Bon was gone. It was as if..it were an illusion. She looked down and the toy rabbit was gone as well. “Oh, hey,” Eleanor said, trying to sound as normal as she could, albeit possibly hallucinating. Esther sat next to her. “Listen, I don’t know what that was back there, but I’m not going to lie, it was kind of cool,” Esther admitted. Eleanor smiled. “My name is Eleanor, what’s yours?” Eleanor asked. “Esther,” Esther replied. It seemed like she would continue the sentence, but she left it hanging. Eleanor smiled before she asked something, following up on something she heard earlier. “...Hey, can I ask you something?” Eleanor asked. Esther nodded. “...Why do you hate your brother?” Eleanor asked. Esther frowned a bit. “It’s…not that hate him. I’ve been in other homes before this one and most of the time my brothers were…assholes.” Esther explained. “And…is Adam one?” Eleanor asked. Esther sighed. “No...Not really, he’s been nothing but nice but..I just don’t believe it. Like how could someone just be so nice? I haven’t even seen him snap in anger yet. I know it's bound to happen eventually but still.” Esther admitted. Eleanor shrugged. “Guess I understand,” Eleanor whispered. Esther got up. “Well, it was nice meeting you, I’m going to go back into my room ok?” Esther asked. Eleanor gave a thumbs-up as Esther left.
“Right so, where is the arcade?” Oskar asked. DS looked at his phone. “Uh, somewhere around…Here!” DS shouted, pointing at a building. The Building was red, with white glowing neon lights. The arcade was called “THE NEON ARCADE!” “Dude this place looks awesome,” Adam stated. “Where did you find this place?” Owen asked. “I came here with my girlfriend once, gots a sick amount of arcade machines,” DS stated. “Well what are we waiting for, Let's go have some fun!” Isaiah shouted.
The gentlemen walked into the arcade, it was literally what you expected, mostly just an arcade, but there was a play zone, food court, and…a bowling rink! Yeah, that should be about it. “Dude this looks straight out of the 80s!” Oskar shouted. “How would you know? It’s not like you were FROM the 80s!” Adam replied jokingly. Oskar just stared at him, his face serious. “...Calm down! It was a joke!” Adam said, putting his hands up. Oskar made a sigh of relief. “Good, I thought I’d need to kill ya,” Oskar said, joking back. Owen stared at Oskar, his eyes wide with fear. Oskar looked at Owen, seeing the fear in his eyes. “...What?” Oskar asked. Owen didn’t respond, as if remembering…bad times. “Owen…Owen!” Adam shouted. Owen snapped out of his trance. “Oh, sorry...Just thinking of something.” Owen admitted. “Your girlfriend?” DS chuckled. "Something like that," Owen muttered, wanting to change the subject. Adam glanced at him, concerned but deciding to let it go."Alright, let's split up and see who can get the highest score on any game!" Adam suggested, trying to lighten the mood. "Winner gets bragging rights for the rest of the night." DS chuckled. “Bet I can get the highest score,” DS spoke cockily. “You sure about that?” Owen asked. DS looked up at Owen Smugly. “Wanna bet?” DS asked. “No, I just don’t wanna see you lose it.” Owen replied. “BET.” DS stated.
The boys went to different games as the hunt was On. Adam saw this cool game called “Death by AI”, while Oskar played a game called “Ring Out”, while DS and Isaiah played Air Hockey. Owen on the other hand, didn’t exactly know what he should play. Sure, there was Miss Pacman, but he didn’t feel like playing that without Abby. That’s when he noticed a game just..sitting there in the corner. It was an arcade game from King of the Jungle Cafe. But that closed a long time ago. How did it make its way here? The game was called “ZOO ESCAPE”. It was about King Louie and his animal friends being sent to a zoo and they needed to escape. Owen looked around. No one was watching him. Why not give the old game a go? Owen walked over and placed a token in. The game rocketed to life, the familiar jingle playing out. It put a smile on his face. And so, he began to play. Despite how old the game was, it was still fun to play. He was playing for a while when he sensed someone was watching him. He at first thought it was Adam, but he realized it wasn’t. It felt off. He paused the game and saw someone leaning against the arcade machine. It was a boy. He was wearing a black teeshirt with white stripes. It had the earth on it. He had a purple and blue bracelet on one of his arms. He wore tan pants with white shoes. His brown hair went slightly over his eyes. From his face, Owen could tell he had braces and freckles. “Enjoying the game, huh?” The boy asked. Owen nodded. “Yeah, it's fun, I used to play this all the time,” Owen admitted. The boy chuckled. “I used to love playing this thing.” The boy agreed. “..I’m Owen, what's your name?” Owen asked. “Ronny, nice to meet you. ..Though, I swear we met before.” Ronny pondered. “What do you mean?” Owen asked, tilting his head. Ronny shrugged. “Nevermind, it's nothing,” Ronny said. Owen wa about to respond when he heard Adam shouting from the other end of the room. “OWEN, WE’RE ABOUT TO HEAD OUT, YOU READY TO GO?” Adam cried. “Yeah, Coming!” Owen shouted back. Owen looked back, but Ronny was gone. He looked around, but couldn’t see any trace of him.
Adam and the others gathered near the entrance, their faces glowing with excitement from the night's activities. "So, who got the highest score?" Isaiah asked, smirking as he pointed at the air hockey table, where he had just narrowly defeated DS. “AI had nothing on me,” Adam replied. Oskar chuckled, shaking his head. "Ring Out was a blast. I reached level 15, but I think you might've beaten me, Adam." "Did anyone check the scores for Owen?" Isaiah asked, looking around.
Owen shrugged, a small smile on his face. "I was just playing an old favorite, 'Zoo Escape'. Didn't check my score." "Old games for old souls," DS joked, giving Owen a friendly nudge. Owen glared at him but shook it off. "Alright, boys, let's tally up and declare a winner."
The group walked to the main score screen near the entrance. After some friendly banter and a quick check, Adam emerged as the victor with his impressive score on "Death by AI". "Bragging rights secured," Adam announced, striking a triumphant pose. "Now, what's next on the agenda?" DS pulled out his phone to check the time. "It's getting late. Maybe we should start heading back." Adam yawned. “Yeah, I agree, come on gentlemen,” Adam commanded.
The group began their walk back to Adam's house. The air was cool and refreshing, a welcome change from the bustling, neon-lit arcade.
"So, what was up with that waitress at Applebee's?" Isaiah asked, breaking the silence. "She seemed...intense." Adam stopped walking and rubbed the back of his neck, clearly still embarrassed. "Yeah, Mary Lou's...interesting. I guess she likes to mess with me." "Mess with you? Dude, she was all over you," Oskar pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "You sure there's nothing more to that story?" Adam sighed. “Look, I don’t really know, I guess she’s just…like that. I have no idea what’s going on in her head. I guess she just has a unique way of interacting with people she likes.” Adam suggested. Owen looked around. “My house is nearby here, I’m gonna head out,” Owen said. “Right, see ya man.” DS waved. Owen waved goodbye as he separated from the group. “Actually, looking around now, I think my place is around here too. I’ll see you guys later ok?” Oskar said. “Alright, see you later man,” Isaiah replied. Oskar walked away, now it was just DS, Isaiah, and Adam here. “You know what? This was fun.” DS Remarked. “Yeah, it was,” Adam responded, a bit tired. “Just a question, why did you start speaking English out of nowhere?” Isaiah asked. “...Eh, I just felt like it.”
It took them a bit, but the trio got back to Adam’s house. “Welp, that was fun boys but I’m gonna head home, see yall later!” DS shouted. Adam waved goodbye as DS walked away. “Don’t know about you, but I’m tired,” Adam said. “Same, goodnight Adam!” Isaiah replied. Adam waved as they walked into the house, Adam walked into his room, as Isaiah walked downstairs.
Isaiah got back into the apartment downstairs and closed the door behind him. He breathed a sigh of relief. Unsure why he did that. “Isaiah.” A voice called “S**t!” Isaiah yelled out of fear. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” The voice responded. Isaiah focused his eyes and noticed two eyes staring at him from the darkness, but he recognized the voice. “It's ok Mom,” Isaiah replied. “Where did you go?” Naiomi asked. “I went with Adam and some of his friends on a boy's night out. Where’s Eleanor?” Isaiah asked. “In her room waiting for you,” Naiomi responded. “Thanks,” Isaiah replied. He was about to walk into the room when his mother stopped him. “...That Adam…is he any good?” Naiomi asked. “What do you mean?” Isaiah asked. “Is he treating you right?” Naiomi asked. “Yeah, if anything he’s like a brother,” Isaiah stated. Naiomi stared before nodding. “Alright, good. Goodnight Isaiah.” Naiomi said, with a deadpan voice. “Good Night Mom,” Isaiah responded. He entered the room as Naiomi looked at the door upstairs. But she decided against going up there, she’d need an invitation after all.
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Adam broke the silence. "So, where are your girlfriends tonight?" "Busy," they both replied in unison. "Well, okay then," Adam said. "I’m playing Mario Wonder with Boyfriend. Want to join?"
"You have a boyfriend?" Oskar asked incredulously. "No, his name is Boyfriend," Adam clarified. "You’re joking," Owen said, skeptical. "Nope. Hey BF, come out here!" Adam called. DS stepped out and waved. "Beep!" "Huh, you’re right," Oskar admitted.
Just then, someone knocked on the side door. "Hold on," Adam said, heading over. He opened it to find Isaiah and Eleanor. "Hi, Adam!" Eleanor greeted cheerfully. "Hi, guys!" Adam responded. Isaiah walked in, stopping when he saw Owen and Oskar. "Oh...who are you guys?" Isaiah asked. "I’m Oskar," Oskar replied. "I’m Owen," Owen added. Eleanor followed Adam, who closed the door behind them. "So, since there are more people here than usual, any ideas on what to do tonight?" Adam asked. "Beep Bo Bap!" DS beeped. "Boys' Night Out?" Adam suggested. "Boys' Night Out?" Owen repeated, confused. "It’s basically when just the guys go out for the night and have fun!" Adam explained.
"So, basically anything?" Oskar asked. "Yeah, as long as it’s legal," Adam said. "Are you okay with it, Eleanor?" Isaiah asked. Eleanor smiled and nodded. "Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Your sister is home, right, Adam?" "Yeah, but she was a bit snappy earlier. I wouldn’t bother her," Adam warned. "Where would we go, anyway?" Owen asked. "Beep bap!" DS suggested. "Yeah, we can go to Applebee's," Adam said. "I’m okay with that," Isaiah agreed. "Can we go to the casino afterward?" Owen asked. Everyone stared at him in confusion. "Dude, we’re all 12-14 except for BF," Adam said. "Oh right," Owen realized. "We can go to the arcade next," Isaiah suggested. "That works," Adam said. "What about after that?" Oskar asked. "We'll figure it out. Ready to go?" Adam asked. "Yeah, I’m ready," Isaiah said. Owen got up. "Let’s go." Adam, DS, and Oskar followed. "Bye, Eleanor! We'll be back in a bit!" Isaiah said. Eleanor waved as the boys left.
After a bit, they finally arrived at Applebee's. "Alright boys, welcome to Applebee's. You know what I love about this place? The culture. I usually have a burger, but sometimes I switch it up. First meal, you’re in Asia; next meal, you’re in Greece!" Adam said.
"Beep bap bo!" DS chimed in. "Exactly, I feel like I need a passport to eat here!" Adam laughed. "So what do you recommend?" Isaiah asked. "What do I recommend? Isaiah, this is Applebee's. I recommend all of it! Wait, you're from New York, right?" Adam asked. "Yeah. Why?" Isaiah asked. "Brooklyn or Queens?" Adam asked. "Manhattan," Isaiah said. "Did you not go to Applebee's before?" Adam asked. "No, not really," Isaiah said. "Well, that's fine. You’re gonna love it," Adam assured him.
After a bit, the waitress came over. Adam’s heart sank. It was Mary Lou Maloney, a familiar face to him but not to the others. "Hello, welcome to Applebee's. My name is Mary, and I'll be your server tonight," Mary Lou said.
"Beep!" DS said."Y-Yeah..." Adam stammered, clearly unsettled. Mary Lou focused on Adam. "How about we start with you, handsome?" she asked, getting close and rubbing his hair. "What would you like to drink?" "Uh, I would like a..." Adam began to say. "You want a lemonade, right?" Mary Lou suggested. "Y-Yeah, that works," Adam said, visibly uneasy. Oskar looked at Adam, puzzled by his behavior. "I’ll have water," Oskar said. "I’ll have a Pepsi," Isaiah added. "Beep bo bap!" DS said. "He said he’ll have a Coke," Adam translated. "I'll take a water too," Owen said.
Mary Lou smiled and walked away. Adam faced the ground, holding his head. "Adam, are you okay? You acted strange when the waitress came," Oskar observed. "No, no, I’m fine. Just a bit hungry, that’s all," Adam lied, unconvincingly. "Who was that? You acted like she was your mom. Oh my god, was that your mom?" Owen asked. "What? No, that's not my mom. Look at me," Adam said. "Beep bap bo, skidoo bap?" DS asked. "No, not my ex or girlfriend..." Adam said. "Then who is it?" Isaiah asked. "Well, she's... a friend of mine. Yeah, a friend. I forgot she worked here," Adam said.
Mary Lou returned with their drinks, still grinning. "I have your drinks, boys. Now, may I take your orders?" "Yeah, that would be nice," Isaiah said. Mary Lou turned towards Adam. "Hey!" she said. "...Yeah?" Adam replied. "You want a classic bacon burger, right? Well done, fries seasoned?" Mary Lou asked. Adam’s heart dropped. "Y-Yeah..." "I’ll have a chicken sandwich," Isaiah said. "How do you want that cooked?" Mary Lou asked. "Crispy," Isaiah replied. "I’m not hungry, thanks," Oskar said. "I’m not hungry either," Owen added. Owen and Oskar exchanged glances, both thinking, "What's your excuse?" "Beep bo bap do bop!" DS said. "Alright, I’ll be back in a bit!" Mary Lou said, leaving with a tune. "Not your girlfriend, eh?" DS teased. "Why are you speaking English now?" Isaiah asked.
Meanwhile, Eleanor knocked on Esther’s door, but there was no answer. "Hello?" Eleanor called, knocking again. "Go away, Adam, or I’ll stab you," Esther threatened from inside. "But... I’m not Adam," Eleanor said. Esther opened the door and looked up at Eleanor. "Who are you?" "My name is Eleanor. You’re Adam’s little sister, right?" Eleanor asked. Esther groaned and tried to close the door, but Eleanor held it open. "Hey, what are you—" Esther began to say, but Eleanor's grip was strong. The door cracked as Eleanor instinctively burst it open, then sprinted off. "What the fu—"
Back at Applebee's, Mary Lou brought the food over, still grinning. "Enjoy your food!" she said, passing it around before leaving. "Damn BF, those nachos look tasty," Adam said. BF nodded, taking a bite and giving a thumbs up. Owen and Oskar’s stomachs growled. "You sure you aren't hungry? It’s not too late to order something," Adam offered. "I'm fine," Oskar said. "Yeah, me too," Owen agreed.
After around 20 minutes of eating, the food was done. "Wow, that burger was delicious," Adam said. "Beep…." DS said. "Yeah, it was," Isaiah said. Mary Lou came back. "I hope you enjoyed your food, now who's paying?" Mary Lou asked. Everyone looked at each other. "Uh, can you give us a second?" Adam asked. She nodded and left.
"Alright, I'm fine with paying if I need to but are there any takers?" Adam asked.
"...This might work," Oskar said. He pulled out Swedish cash from his pocket. "...Oskar, that's Swedish currency. I don't think that's gonna work." Adam said. "Oh…" Oskar said. "Wait, Oskar, are you Swedish?" Isaiah asked. "Yeah, Eli too," Oskar said. "Huh, I mean I can kind of hear it in your voice," Adam said.
Mary Lou came back and leaned close behind Adam. "You know, if you can't pay, if you come in the back with me Handsome, I'll let you off free…." Mary Lou said. Adam turned red as everyone turned towards him, dazed, surprised, and confused. “Uh..Uh..” Adam begins to say, dazed and confused. “Think about it handsome. I'll be back in a bit..” Mary Lou said, kissing him on the cheek. She walked away, humming to herself. Everyone just stared at Adam. “Did…Did she just…?” Oskar began to say. “I think…?” Owen began to say. Isaiah just stared at the ground.
“Bro, I think the waitress just offered to let us go free if-” DS-Boyfriend began to say, but Adam cut him off. “Boyfriend for everyone's safety DON'T finish that sentence,” Adam said. “...Are…Are you going to say something about what just happened….?” Isaiah asked. “I would rather not…” Adam said. Everyone just stared at each other. “You know what? I'll pay. That way we can simply move on.” DS said. “Really?” Owen asked. “Dude, when a waitress offers to bang your best friend to get out of a restaurant without paying, that's when you know you gotta get the f**k out of dodge,” DS said. “Hey, nice reference,” Isaiah said. “Thanks,” replied. “How can you afford to pay?” Owen asked.
“My parents are CEOS of big companies, that's how,” DS-Boyfriend said.
“Hey Adam, can you get the waitress?” DS-Boyfriend asked. “...Why me?” Adam asked. DS-Boyfriend gave a sh*t-eating grin. “Oh you gotta be kidding me,” Adam said agitated. “Hey, don’t look at me, she’s the one into you,” DS said. Adam rolled his eyes and got up, but when he turned around, he bumped into Mary Lou, who was walking back to the table. “Oh hey! Taking my offer?” Mary Lou asked. Before anything could happen DS stepped in. “Actually he was going to get you so we can get the hell outta here,” DS said. Mary Lou looked down before nodding her head. “Alright, we can have some fun another time then.” Mary Lou suggested. Adam turned red again as DS got up from his seat and handed Adam the Money. “Here you go,” Adam said. Mary took it and smiled. “Alright, you can go! Have fun boys!” Mary Lou said with a creepy smile. The others got up from their chairs and quickly left through the door. But before Adam could Leave, Mary Lou grabbed his arm. “...This was nice. Can we do this again sometime?” She asked. Adam shrugged. “I guess so,” Adam said. Mary Lou smiled. She took off Adam’s hat and rubbed his hair. “... It's a date then, see you later…alligator.” Mary Lou said. “YO ADAM, WHAT’S THE HOLD-UP, COME ON!” DS yelled. Adam turned and left through the door.
Eleanor was sitting outside on the steps in the backyard, thinking to herself about what transpired. She didn’t know what came over herself, she didn’t even mean to get so aggressive. She was about to just get up and go take a walk down the road when she noticed a toy Rabbit sitting near the gate. It wasn’t there before. It was grey, and one of its eyelids was drooped down. It had a red vest and a blue bowtie and its eyes were purple. “Where did you come from?” Eleanor asked. The toy roared to life. “R-R-R-Ready to Rocket!” the toy belted. Eleanor gasped out of surprise and dropped the toy, causing it to stutter on one line. “Bon is here- Bon is here- Bon is here- Bon is here- Bon is-” But then the rabbit stopped, its eye slowly turning to look at something in front of it. “H-H-Hi Bon!” Eleanor looked up and saw him. A large 7 ft rabbit animatronic stood in front of the gate, but he looked…damaged. The rabbit had a white latex mask, with a cigar in his mouth and its eyes glowed a bit white as it stood there.He wore a red bowtie connected to a dickie. The torso had a large hole in it, and it was…slightly lined with blood. His vest was tattered and damaged. It had a bunch of holes in it. He had a name tag on his vest “HELLO! MY NAME IS BON.” But it was slightly ripped. His lower arms were exposed with an endoskeleton, but the fingers looked like claws. His lower legs were exposed with an endoskeleton as well. Bon wasn’t looking at her at first before his eyes slowly tilted towards her. The rabbit slowly moved its head, a creaking sound coming from it. The mouth opened, and at first, nothing came out, but then it spoke. “M-My. Name. Is. BON.” The rabbit went to walk towards Eleanor when Esther opened the side door. “Hey. Knew I’d find you out here.” Esther mentioned. Eleanor looked back, but Bon was gone. It was as if..it were an illusion. She looked down and the toy rabbit was gone as well. “Oh, hey,” Eleanor said, trying to sound as normal as she could, albeit possibly hallucinating. Esther sat next to her. “Listen, I don’t know what that was back there, but I’m not going to lie, it was kind of cool,” Esther admitted. Eleanor smiled. “My name is Eleanor, what’s yours?” Eleanor asked. “Esther,” Esther replied. It seemed like she would continue the sentence, but she left it hanging. Eleanor smiled before she asked something, following up on something she heard earlier. “...Hey, can I ask you something?” Eleanor asked. Esther nodded. “...Why do you hate your brother?” Eleanor asked. Esther frowned a bit. “It’s…not that hate him. I’ve been in other homes before this one and most of the time my brothers were…assholes.” Esther explained. “And…is Adam one?” Eleanor asked. Esther sighed. “No...Not really, he’s been nothing but nice but..I just don’t believe it. Like how could someone just be so nice? I haven’t even seen him snap in anger yet. I know it's bound to happen eventually but still.” Esther admitted. Eleanor shrugged. “Guess I understand,” Eleanor whispered. Esther got up. “Well, it was nice meeting you, I’m going to go back into my room ok?” Esther asked. Eleanor gave a thumbs-up as Esther left.
“Right so, where is the arcade?” Oskar asked. DS looked at his phone. “Uh, somewhere around…Here!” DS shouted, pointing at a building. The Building was red, with white glowing neon lights. The arcade was called “THE NEON ARCADE!” “Dude this place looks awesome,” Adam stated. “Where did you find this place?” Owen asked. “I came here with my girlfriend once, gots a sick amount of arcade machines,” DS stated. “Well what are we waiting for, Let's go have some fun!” Isaiah shouted.
The gentlemen walked into the arcade, it was literally what you expected, mostly just an arcade, but there was a play zone, food court, and…a bowling rink! Yeah, that should be about it. “Dude this looks straight out of the 80s!” Oskar shouted. “How would you know? It’s not like you were FROM the 80s!” Adam replied jokingly. Oskar just stared at him, his face serious. “...Calm down! It was a joke!” Adam said, putting his hands up. Oskar made a sigh of relief. “Good, I thought I’d need to kill ya,” Oskar said, joking back. Owen stared at Oskar, his eyes wide with fear. Oskar looked at Owen, seeing the fear in his eyes. “...What?” Oskar asked. Owen didn’t respond, as if remembering…bad times. “Owen…Owen!” Adam shouted. Owen snapped out of his trance. “Oh, sorry...Just thinking of something.” Owen admitted. “Your girlfriend?” DS chuckled. "Something like that," Owen muttered, wanting to change the subject. Adam glanced at him, concerned but deciding to let it go."Alright, let's split up and see who can get the highest score on any game!" Adam suggested, trying to lighten the mood. "Winner gets bragging rights for the rest of the night." DS chuckled. “Bet I can get the highest score,” DS spoke cockily. “You sure about that?” Owen asked. DS looked up at Owen Smugly. “Wanna bet?” DS asked. “No, I just don’t wanna see you lose it.” Owen replied. “BET.” DS stated.
The boys went to different games as the hunt was On. Adam saw this cool game called “Death by AI”, while Oskar played a game called “Ring Out”, while DS and Isaiah played Air Hockey. Owen on the other hand, didn’t exactly know what he should play. Sure, there was Miss Pacman, but he didn’t feel like playing that without Abby. That’s when he noticed a game just..sitting there in the corner. It was an arcade game from King of the Jungle Cafe. But that closed a long time ago. How did it make its way here? The game was called “ZOO ESCAPE”. It was about King Louie and his animal friends being sent to a zoo and they needed to escape. Owen looked around. No one was watching him. Why not give the old game a go? Owen walked over and placed a token in. The game rocketed to life, the familiar jingle playing out. It put a smile on his face. And so, he began to play. Despite how old the game was, it was still fun to play. He was playing for a while when he sensed someone was watching him. He at first thought it was Adam, but he realized it wasn’t. It felt off. He paused the game and saw someone leaning against the arcade machine. It was a boy. He was wearing a black teeshirt with white stripes. It had the earth on it. He had a purple and blue bracelet on one of his arms. He wore tan pants with white shoes. His brown hair went slightly over his eyes. From his face, Owen could tell he had braces and freckles. “Enjoying the game, huh?” The boy asked. Owen nodded. “Yeah, it's fun, I used to play this all the time,” Owen admitted. The boy chuckled. “I used to love playing this thing.” The boy agreed. “..I’m Owen, what's your name?” Owen asked. “Ronny, nice to meet you. ..Though, I swear we met before.” Ronny pondered. “What do you mean?” Owen asked, tilting his head. Ronny shrugged. “Nevermind, it's nothing,” Ronny said. Owen wa about to respond when he heard Adam shouting from the other end of the room. “OWEN, WE’RE ABOUT TO HEAD OUT, YOU READY TO GO?” Adam cried. “Yeah, Coming!” Owen shouted back. Owen looked back, but Ronny was gone. He looked around, but couldn’t see any trace of him.
Adam and the others gathered near the entrance, their faces glowing with excitement from the night's activities. "So, who got the highest score?" Isaiah asked, smirking as he pointed at the air hockey table, where he had just narrowly defeated DS. “AI had nothing on me,” Adam replied. Oskar chuckled, shaking his head. "Ring Out was a blast. I reached level 15, but I think you might've beaten me, Adam." "Did anyone check the scores for Owen?" Isaiah asked, looking around.
Owen shrugged, a small smile on his face. "I was just playing an old favorite, 'Zoo Escape'. Didn't check my score." "Old games for old souls," DS joked, giving Owen a friendly nudge. Owen glared at him but shook it off. "Alright, boys, let's tally up and declare a winner."
The group walked to the main score screen near the entrance. After some friendly banter and a quick check, Adam emerged as the victor with his impressive score on "Death by AI". "Bragging rights secured," Adam announced, striking a triumphant pose. "Now, what's next on the agenda?" DS pulled out his phone to check the time. "It's getting late. Maybe we should start heading back." Adam yawned. “Yeah, I agree, come on gentlemen,” Adam commanded.
The group began their walk back to Adam's house. The air was cool and refreshing, a welcome change from the bustling, neon-lit arcade.
"So, what was up with that waitress at Applebee's?" Isaiah asked, breaking the silence. "She seemed...intense." Adam stopped walking and rubbed the back of his neck, clearly still embarrassed. "Yeah, Mary Lou's...interesting. I guess she likes to mess with me." "Mess with you? Dude, she was all over you," Oskar pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "You sure there's nothing more to that story?" Adam sighed. “Look, I don’t really know, I guess she’s just…like that. I have no idea what’s going on in her head. I guess she just has a unique way of interacting with people she likes.” Adam suggested. Owen looked around. “My house is nearby here, I’m gonna head out,” Owen said. “Right, see ya man.” DS waved. Owen waved goodbye as he separated from the group. “Actually, looking around now, I think my place is around here too. I’ll see you guys later ok?” Oskar said. “Alright, see you later man,” Isaiah replied. Oskar walked away, now it was just DS, Isaiah, and Adam here. “You know what? This was fun.” DS Remarked. “Yeah, it was,” Adam responded, a bit tired. “Just a question, why did you start speaking English out of nowhere?” Isaiah asked. “...Eh, I just felt like it.”
It took them a bit, but the trio got back to Adam’s house. “Welp, that was fun boys but I’m gonna head home, see yall later!” DS shouted. Adam waved goodbye as DS walked away. “Don’t know about you, but I’m tired,” Adam said. “Same, goodnight Adam!” Isaiah replied. Adam waved as they walked into the house, Adam walked into his room, as Isaiah walked downstairs.
Isaiah got back into the apartment downstairs and closed the door behind him. He breathed a sigh of relief. Unsure why he did that. “Isaiah.” A voice called “S**t!” Isaiah yelled out of fear. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” The voice responded. Isaiah focused his eyes and noticed two eyes staring at him from the darkness, but he recognized the voice. “It's ok Mom,” Isaiah replied. “Where did you go?” Naiomi asked. “I went with Adam and some of his friends on a boy's night out. Where’s Eleanor?” Isaiah asked. “In her room waiting for you,” Naiomi responded. “Thanks,” Isaiah replied. He was about to walk into the room when his mother stopped him. “...That Adam…is he any good?” Naiomi asked. “What do you mean?” Isaiah asked. “Is he treating you right?” Naiomi asked. “Yeah, if anything he’s like a brother,” Isaiah stated. Naiomi stared before nodding. “Alright, good. Goodnight Isaiah.” Naiomi said, with a deadpan voice. “Good Night Mom,” Isaiah responded. He entered the room as Naiomi looked at the door upstairs. But she decided against going up there, she’d need an invitation after all.
2024.06.02 07:39 Mono_Construction I inherited a magic 8 ball, it just predicted my wife's future.
Life was perfectly normal and mundane until the day I inherited the Magic 8 Ball from a distant relative who had recently passed away. At first, it seemed like a quirky keepsake, a relic of childhood nostalgia. But as I held it in my hands one overcast evening, an unsettling feeling crept over me. There was something off about it, a strange, almost ominous vibe that seemed to emanate from its old, worn surface. I glanced at my wife, blissfully unaware, sitting across the room. Our love had always felt like a sanctuary, yet now, this seemingly innocuous toy had introduced an inexplicable sense of dread into our home. It just felt off, like something not meant to induce tension into the air but certainly did at the time. I never mentioned it to Anna since the evening was beautiful, and the mood was full of anticipation for the upcoming playoff game. We were looking forward to some good old hockey. As a joke, I asked the Magic 8 Ball if our home team was going to win the game, chuckling at the childish stupidity that brought back fond memories of my youth.
“Cannot say now,” the 8 Ball in my calloused hand read a few seconds later.
I wasn't surprised by the answer, knowing it was just a toy with a limited set of responses. Maybe I'd ask it again during the first intermission, I thought to myself. As the puck dropped, the game started with a few penalties and a goal against us just before the initial 20 minutes of the period ended. I had almost forgotten about the toy relic that had been passed down to me recently. As the first intermission progressed, I picked up the 8 Ball again and asked if our team would win against the opposing team.
“Certainly, it will be legendary,” I read after a short pause.
Initially, I thought it was an odd answer, but what did I know? It was probably made in the '60s when people were a bit more open-minded to quirky responses. I smiled at Anna and showed her the response. She found it funny, and her laugh, as always, became the highlight of the moment. Her laughter has always been the center point of my love and affection for her, making her the undeniable lead honcho in any group she’s a part of. During the 2nd and 3rd periods, we witnessed our home team not only tie the game but score an additional 4 goals in rapid succession against the opposing team. It was not only legendary as the 8 Ball predicted, but it also sent the stadium into a roaring frenzy. Later, it was said that the noise level matched that of an Airbus A-220.
"It seems the Magic 8 Ball helped me win my $20 bet on our home team," I said confidently to my wife. "Probably just by chance, but who knows? I could use it to predict Friday's lottery numbers."
She smiled and told me to give it a shot, but I knew it was futile. Just like trying not to wake Anna up while leaving for work, it always ended with her sensing the creaking floorboards. About a few days had passed before we ended up having a heated argument about the dreaded topic of having kids in the future, I of course never want the sobbing, snot wheezing kids that take up 150% of your future time and life that could be used for retirement time in Hawaii. But, of course, she had bipolar opposite views on the topic. She wanted kids, perhaps to sow our six-year marriage back together. I, on the other hand, was dead set against it, feeling as if she were trying to force feed me a hefty dose of the plague. At the time, I had just stormed out of the room to cool off and muttered something I still regret to this day.
“Damn it, when will Anna's obsession with having kids ever end?” I grumbled to myself in frustration.
Suddenly, the 8 ball I’d left in the den flashed with a bright white light, like a screen turning on. Just as quickly, the flash disappeared, replaced by a simple message on its black surface.
“Soon enough, Derrick,” the ball read, almost mockingly.
My focus shifted from Anna's relentless talk about kids to the unnerving fact that the 8 ball not only knew my name but also had an answer for such a ridiculous question. I hadn’t even touched the thing—don’t you need to shake it for it to work? At this point, I was tempted to toss that relic into the trash and be done with it, but being a bit stubborn, I decided to let the demonic thing be and left it to its own devices. A few days had passed, and Anna and I had made up after our brief argument on that chilly Tuesday afternoon when I got home from work. She promised to hold off on bringing it up again for a while and to let me consider our options going forward. Life has been running smoothly again, and our home hockey team won their semi-finals match today, heading to the finals. Anna and I are caught up in the excitement of tomorrow night's game and are pretty pleased with how this year has gone, especially with our 7th anniversary just around the corner!
Work has been dragging lately, and I find myself just wanting to fast-forward to the day I wake up next to Anna and kiss her passionately on our long-awaited 7th anniversary, which is now just a few days away. As for the 8 ball of unknown origin, it's still just sitting dormant in the den. To be honest, I'm quite surprised it hasn't detonated or flashbanged me again whenever I step in there to grab some work files on clients. But no, it just sits there menacingly, waiting to tell me something I don't want to hear.
Anna and I had planned a special outing for our 7th anniversary. We decided to visit our favorite local donut shop around noon. As we prepared to leave, I grabbed the old magic 8 ball, intending to throw it away on the way there.
As we approached the intersection on 136th street, the light was red. With a playful smile, I asked the 8 ball one last question.
"Will the light turn green soon?" I asked, grinning at my overjoyed wife.
"Unfortunately, yes," the 8 ball replied.
I showed Anna the response, and she chuckled, thinking the toy wanted us to be stuck at the red light. When the light turned green, we started to cross the intersection. Suddenly, Anna gasped and clutched her chest. I managed to swerve to the side of the road just in time to avoid an oncoming car. I pulled over, my heart pounding, and turned to her in panic.
"Anna, what's wrong?" I asked, fear gripping me.
"I don't know," she whispered, her face pale and sweaty. "I just feel... so weak."
I rushed her to the hospital, where doctors ran a series of tests. After what felt like an eternity, they diagnosed her with a rare and severe illness. The news hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt the world spinning around me. For the next few weeks, Anna's condition worsened. I spent every moment by her side, watching helplessly as she battled the illness. The magic 8 ball sat untouched in the den, its last message haunting me.
"Unfortunately, yes," it had said.
Despite the grim prognosis, Anna showed remarkable strength. We took things one day at a time, finding solace in each other's company. Our 7th anniversary passed quietly in the hospital, but it was a day filled with love and hope rather than despair. As the weeks turned into months, Anna's condition slowly stabilized. The doctors were cautiously optimistic, and we began to see a glimmer of hope. The scare made us appreciate every moment together, cherishing the small victories and holding onto hope.
One day, I decided to confront the magic 8 ball. I picked it up and asked, "Will Anna get better?"
The answer floated to the surface: "Signs point to yes."
I showed Anna the response, and she smiled weakly. "Maybe it's not so cursed after all," she said. We placed the 8 ball back on the shelf, not as a relic of doom, but as a symbol of hope and resilience. Our journey wasn't over, but we faced it together, stronger than ever.
submitted by Mono_Construction to Wholesomenosleep [link] [comments]
“Cannot say now,” the 8 Ball in my calloused hand read a few seconds later.
I wasn't surprised by the answer, knowing it was just a toy with a limited set of responses. Maybe I'd ask it again during the first intermission, I thought to myself. As the puck dropped, the game started with a few penalties and a goal against us just before the initial 20 minutes of the period ended. I had almost forgotten about the toy relic that had been passed down to me recently. As the first intermission progressed, I picked up the 8 Ball again and asked if our team would win against the opposing team.
“Certainly, it will be legendary,” I read after a short pause.
Initially, I thought it was an odd answer, but what did I know? It was probably made in the '60s when people were a bit more open-minded to quirky responses. I smiled at Anna and showed her the response. She found it funny, and her laugh, as always, became the highlight of the moment. Her laughter has always been the center point of my love and affection for her, making her the undeniable lead honcho in any group she’s a part of. During the 2nd and 3rd periods, we witnessed our home team not only tie the game but score an additional 4 goals in rapid succession against the opposing team. It was not only legendary as the 8 Ball predicted, but it also sent the stadium into a roaring frenzy. Later, it was said that the noise level matched that of an Airbus A-220.
"It seems the Magic 8 Ball helped me win my $20 bet on our home team," I said confidently to my wife. "Probably just by chance, but who knows? I could use it to predict Friday's lottery numbers."
She smiled and told me to give it a shot, but I knew it was futile. Just like trying not to wake Anna up while leaving for work, it always ended with her sensing the creaking floorboards. About a few days had passed before we ended up having a heated argument about the dreaded topic of having kids in the future, I of course never want the sobbing, snot wheezing kids that take up 150% of your future time and life that could be used for retirement time in Hawaii. But, of course, she had bipolar opposite views on the topic. She wanted kids, perhaps to sow our six-year marriage back together. I, on the other hand, was dead set against it, feeling as if she were trying to force feed me a hefty dose of the plague. At the time, I had just stormed out of the room to cool off and muttered something I still regret to this day.
“Damn it, when will Anna's obsession with having kids ever end?” I grumbled to myself in frustration.
Suddenly, the 8 ball I’d left in the den flashed with a bright white light, like a screen turning on. Just as quickly, the flash disappeared, replaced by a simple message on its black surface.
“Soon enough, Derrick,” the ball read, almost mockingly.
My focus shifted from Anna's relentless talk about kids to the unnerving fact that the 8 ball not only knew my name but also had an answer for such a ridiculous question. I hadn’t even touched the thing—don’t you need to shake it for it to work? At this point, I was tempted to toss that relic into the trash and be done with it, but being a bit stubborn, I decided to let the demonic thing be and left it to its own devices. A few days had passed, and Anna and I had made up after our brief argument on that chilly Tuesday afternoon when I got home from work. She promised to hold off on bringing it up again for a while and to let me consider our options going forward. Life has been running smoothly again, and our home hockey team won their semi-finals match today, heading to the finals. Anna and I are caught up in the excitement of tomorrow night's game and are pretty pleased with how this year has gone, especially with our 7th anniversary just around the corner!
Work has been dragging lately, and I find myself just wanting to fast-forward to the day I wake up next to Anna and kiss her passionately on our long-awaited 7th anniversary, which is now just a few days away. As for the 8 ball of unknown origin, it's still just sitting dormant in the den. To be honest, I'm quite surprised it hasn't detonated or flashbanged me again whenever I step in there to grab some work files on clients. But no, it just sits there menacingly, waiting to tell me something I don't want to hear.
Anna and I had planned a special outing for our 7th anniversary. We decided to visit our favorite local donut shop around noon. As we prepared to leave, I grabbed the old magic 8 ball, intending to throw it away on the way there.
As we approached the intersection on 136th street, the light was red. With a playful smile, I asked the 8 ball one last question.
"Will the light turn green soon?" I asked, grinning at my overjoyed wife.
"Unfortunately, yes," the 8 ball replied.
I showed Anna the response, and she chuckled, thinking the toy wanted us to be stuck at the red light. When the light turned green, we started to cross the intersection. Suddenly, Anna gasped and clutched her chest. I managed to swerve to the side of the road just in time to avoid an oncoming car. I pulled over, my heart pounding, and turned to her in panic.
"Anna, what's wrong?" I asked, fear gripping me.
"I don't know," she whispered, her face pale and sweaty. "I just feel... so weak."
I rushed her to the hospital, where doctors ran a series of tests. After what felt like an eternity, they diagnosed her with a rare and severe illness. The news hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt the world spinning around me. For the next few weeks, Anna's condition worsened. I spent every moment by her side, watching helplessly as she battled the illness. The magic 8 ball sat untouched in the den, its last message haunting me.
"Unfortunately, yes," it had said.
Despite the grim prognosis, Anna showed remarkable strength. We took things one day at a time, finding solace in each other's company. Our 7th anniversary passed quietly in the hospital, but it was a day filled with love and hope rather than despair. As the weeks turned into months, Anna's condition slowly stabilized. The doctors were cautiously optimistic, and we began to see a glimmer of hope. The scare made us appreciate every moment together, cherishing the small victories and holding onto hope.
One day, I decided to confront the magic 8 ball. I picked it up and asked, "Will Anna get better?"
The answer floated to the surface: "Signs point to yes."
I showed Anna the response, and she smiled weakly. "Maybe it's not so cursed after all," she said. We placed the 8 ball back on the shelf, not as a relic of doom, but as a symbol of hope and resilience. Our journey wasn't over, but we faced it together, stronger than ever.
2024.06.02 07:36 Lopsided_Director321 Story I Wrote a few Years Ago— what do you think? Should I persue this?
Inebriated Conversations
submitted by Lopsided_Director321 to writingcritiques [link] [comments]
After eight long and grueling hours, we began our rapid descent from the heavens. I never really got the: “did it hurt when you fell from heaven” pickup line until we hit the tarmac. The force of the impact nearly knocked my head into the seat in front of me, so fuck yeah, it hurt when I fell from heaven. I’d imagine even Lucifer himself had a softer landing than we did. He also didn’t have to endure the stomach churning and nauseating food that was served on the plane, but I digress, at least we had finally reached our destination. A land not so far away that only varied in appearance, but the truth was this mystical and magical land, deep down, was no different from the place I grew up or attend college. As I waited in purgatory, the security line, I began wondering if I was dreaming. Was I really in London or even a different country for that matter? The line, which seemed so much longer than the European and the U.K., line was filled with fellow Americans. Perhaps they are still acrimonious about us beating them in the Revolutionary War, so they decided that this was ample punishment for our victory. Whatever the case, we finally made it through security, then collected our bags. I saw my relatively new bag with the bowtie on the handle and was relieved that it had not been lost or left in the United States. We met our tour guide, Emma, who at first glance seemed to be very different. She had an unusual hair cut that was much shorter than ones most woman her age would have, but I soon learned that her appearance, much like London’s, would not be any indication of what lies beyond. When we finally escaped from limbo, the airport, we were put on a coach bus, and taken to our hotel. I was exhausted and in need of a shower, but all I could do was drop my luggage off, then swiftly return to the lobby. As we stood outside in the crisp, refreshing air, we were handed our subway passes, or as they say, “tube passes.” We followed our guide, Emma, on a short walk to the underground. When our group finally descended the stairs and made our way to the map, a map Virgil couldn’t even navigate, we began our journey that involved the same punishment as those afforded to people in the eighth level of hell. We walked endlessly, 10.6 miles, and viewed the most popular tourist attractions London had to offer. I was surrounded by beautiful statues, fantastic architecture, and attractive people whose dialect could captivate almost anyone. At first, like everyone else, I was completely and utterly captivated by it all, because it was a completely different world. Our group finished the day with a mile and a half walk to the Globe Theatre, where we saw Shakespeare’s play, Comedy of Errors. My fellow students and I stood, as our professors sat comfortably watching the play. During the production, all I could think about was my numb legs and my aching feet. I tried drowning the pain with a few glasses of overly priced and nasty wines, but my attempt was to no avail. For once in my life, I knew what it was like to experience actual physical agony, not just the tedious and never-ending emotional kind. It wasn’t the lake of fire or some frozen wasteland, but that shit was still excruciating. After the play, we struggled to find a new passageway to the hot and crowded underworld, the tube, but luckily, I had service on my phone, so we found it. We finally made it back to the hotel around eleven in the evening. After a long day of flying and an excess of walking, I had never been as excited as I was to climb into a bed that was, quite frankly, too small for my six-foot-five physique. To anyone reading this, don’t worry, I’m not planning on giving a day to day synopsis of what I saw while I was abroad, because the sights aren’t what truly matter. I mean, I could just rant about Buckingham Palace and its beauty, Windsor Castle and its enormous layout, the Tower of London and its history, the Natural History Museum and its priceless artifacts, Stratford upon Avon and Shakespeare’s life, Oxford and it’s impressive library, Cornwall and its tranquil beaches, the Minack Theatre and its sublimity, or the Ashmolean Museum and its Jeff Koons exhibition, but that shit has no genuine meaning to it. I’m not going to waste your time by writing about some tourist sites that you could see in almost any travel magazine about the U.K., so if that’s what you are looking for stop reading. I suggest you pick up a travel magazine and read it until you are content, but if you want to read something real, then I suggest you continue. The reality is, the things I’ll take from this trip are the inebriated conversations I had with others. I not only gave these people advice about their lives; I learned something new about my own. I, ***** *******, am the Barstool Prophet, who descended from the heavens prepared to spout wisdom and retardation. Before I divulge the serious and deep conversations I experienced abroad, I want to let you know that the other person and I were under the influence of alcohol. I know what you are thinking, but alcohol has been a part of human culture since 7,000 B.C.; to put that into perspective, man invented alcohol before the wheel. From what I've seen in my lifetime some people drink to forget, some drink to remember, some drink to punish themselves, and some drink to converse with others. I fall into the latter category, but while I was in the U.K., I encountered people whose purpose for drinking was similar to mine as well as people that would fall in the other categories. I never really got the saying, "It's better to be a glass half full person, than a glass half empty person." I get the whole positivity aspect of the saying; however, I'd trust a "glass half empty person" far more, because they'd just order another drink. I am in no way trying to promote alcoholism; in reality, I am just trying to explain how alcohol can fuel an in-depth conversation. The Latin proverb "In Vino Veritas" states that "In Wine there is Truth"; wiser words have never been spoken. Alcohol allows people to speak their hidden thoughts and desires, especially to a stranger like me.Emma
As I stated earlier, Emma was our tour guide, who sported a relatively short and somewhat masculine haircut. Luckily, I had consumed enough alcohol at the time of her arrival to ask her why she chose that specific style. After giving me a vague: “because I like it” response, she clutched her glass of wine and forced it down. We talked about her occupation and how lonely traveling could get, but she seemed like she was familiar with the feeling of loneliness. She asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, and I said, “I want to be a lawyer.” Emma slammed her glass down and began to laugh hysterically; she said, “Seriously?” I found her response quite peculiar until she revealed that her ex-husband was a lawyer. He was devoted to his job and always worked long hours, which did not bother her, at first. I surmise that his lack of interest in her is what led to their separation. After a long moment of silence, I gulped my drink down and gained the courage to ask: “do you think the relationship you had with him prepared you for this job?” She paused and began to think intently. She took a sip of her wine, laughed, and said, “I guess so, that’s one positive thing I got out of the relationship.” The chat continued with talk of food, politics, weather, and other small-talk topics, but then we somehow made it back to her haircut. Emma told me that she was bi-sexual, which, despite the tell-tell signs in her appearance, isn’t something she shares with most people. I told her that homophobia and racism is a major part of the culture that I grew up in, which surprised her. She couldn’t comprehend how someone with that upbringing could be so openminded. I responded with one word and one word only, “Self-Awareness.” I came to the realization that in life people are consciously and unconsciously molded by those around them, but at the end of the day, it is their choice to decide who they are and what they believe. Emma’s marriage may not have been picture perfect, but she was still able to take something positive from it. As much as we don’t want to admit it, even the worst of our relationships impact us in a positive way.Phillip Goldsmith
Before I get into this incredibly intense and somewhat depressing story, I’d like to describe its setting. I was sitting on a red velvet couch, drinking Jack Daniels Honey in a tall glass with one ice cube. I know what you are thinking, but I was not in a strip club. Our hotel’s game room/ bar area looked like an American strip club, not that I’ve ever been in one. Like seriously, if a few poles and dancers were added, I’d feel like I was at the Red Carpet, which is a strip club near where I live, but again, I may or may not have been there. I had finished half my bottle when Phil walked in, and I could immediately tell that he was hurting on the inside. Excluding dumbass frat guys, not very many people drink vodka straight out of the bottle with the intention of finishing it. He sat next to us, so I reached my hand out and said, “Hey man, what’s your name?” He said, “Hello, I am Phillip Goldsmith.” I responded as anyone would and said, “That’s a badass name!” We talked about life, love, and women as most guys do. We were both close to finishing our bottles when I noticed a tattoo on his arm that said, “Harry.” Who was this Harry? He certainly didn’t strike me as a Royalist, so I knew he didn’t just get the prince’s name on his arm for shits and giggles. I gulped down a few more sips of my drink and slowly placed it back down. I looked him in the eyes and said, “who is Harry?” His response shook every bone in my body to their core. After holding his tears back and ingesting some more of his vodka, Phil looked at me and said that “Harry was his son.” Was? He continued speaking, and I learned that Harry died three days after he was born. That tragic loss would result in a few other loses in his life, his wife, and his faith. Phil told me that he used to go to his grave on his birthday and Christmas, but he couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t see a point in it any longer. Surprisingly I felt the urge to tell him that “God loved him and that he would see his son again.” I am in no way a prolific believer; I’d probably put myself in the wayward son category. However, something came over me, and I felt like I needed to tell him that. We had both finished our drinks, and as we were saying our goodbyes, he thanked me. I don’t know why, but he did. My encounter with Phil taught me that when you meet someone, you don’t know what they are going through, but through love and compassion, you can have a positive impact on them.Lexie
Lexie is a beautiful and intelligent young lady from Kansas City, Missouri. We met and chatted throughout the week because she was a part of our EF group. One night, after Lexie and I had more than our share of wine, we began to talk about our plans for the future. Before I tell this story, you must know, I have the unfortunate handicap of flirtation when I drink, but she was able to move past my impulsive outburst. I think my accidental comments about her beautiful eyes, stunning smile, and cute laugh allowed her to open up to me. Despite what you are thinking, I like to flirt because I enjoy making women smile, I don’t always do it for self-serving reasons. Anyways, as I said, we started discussing our plans for the future, but one can’t divulge their future in an inebriated state without discussing their past. I gave my whole spiel about wanting to be a prosecutor who would later become a congressman, then a Supreme Court or D.C. Circuit Court justice. She said, “Wow! That’s quite the plan. I want to go into Law as well.” I hastily responded by saying, “That’s sexy. I could see it.” We both laughed, but then she said, “I don’t know though, Law School is hard.” She didn’t strike me as a person who couldn’t handle a challenge, so I asked, “Why do you think you wouldn’t excel? You present yourself as someone who does.” She tried not to blush, then sipped her extremely sweet white wine. I know it was sweet because I made the unfortunate decision of trying it; it was so sweet that even a rock would get a hangover from it. Anyways, she started talking about high school and how people thought she was unintelligent. I laughed and thought about how I experienced that very same thing. I said, “Fuck that, screw them. God, high school girls are mean. Do you actually believe that crap?” She giggled and said, “Of course not, but it’s still in the back of my head.” I grabbed another beer from Raj, the bartender at the hotel. Yes, we were on a first name basis; did you expect anything less from the barstool profit? I sat back down and leaned in, intent on getting this point across to Lexie. I sipped my beer, ever so casually, and said, “Listen, we all remember the immature negatives of our high school existence, but this is now. At some point, we have to grow up into the people we want to be, not who everyone tells us to be.” She then asked, “Why are you so wise?” (You are probably thinking “sure she did,” but I swear that is what she said; I’m not a narcissist using creative license to praise myself.) I accredited it to my amazing parents as well as the shitty ex-girlfriends, situations, and friends I had experienced. We continued talking about a lot of random things like abortion, racism in America, and other pseudo-political topics. It was 3 am. when we finally decided it was time to go to bed. I hugged her and told her to use those negative voices as motivation. Again, I was thanked for the conversation, which, at this point, seems to be a normal thing for strangers to do. My conversation with Lexie made me realize that, when we travel, the baggage we carry isn’t only the physical kind. That tedious and deep emotional baggage also comes along for the journey. Most people, who travel somewhere, will lose a physical part of their baggage, like a sock, shirt, or something of that nature. Lexie did something most could not and do not, she left a piece of her emotional baggage, the night I spoke to her in the bar.Szymon
Szymon was in the bar area when I got to the hotel. He had a very interesting accent, which was far different from the ones I had heard that week, so I asked, “Where are you from?” He said, in a relatively drunken manner, “I am from Poland. You’re from America, aren’t you.” I responded with a firm: “Yes.” The conversation proceeded with small talk, but as I had a few more beers, the topics shifted to more serious topics. I was recently in a Holocaust history class, so of course, the first serious thing I asked was if he had been to Warsaw to see the Concentration Camps. He paused in silence, so I said, “Talk about hell on Earth, the holocaust was some fucked up shit.” After saying that he seemed to gain the courage to tell me that he was Jewish. He told me about the things his parents endured as children and how his grandfather had died in a concentration camp. He told me how he had rejected his faith after hearing these horrible stories. He said to me, “What could faith do for someone. The Jews have been persecuted countless times for it.” I understood where he was coming from, but at the same time, I didn’t. He had real reasons for his existential doubt, and I truly could not say the same. I got a shot of vodka from Raj; threw it back, and said, “Our faith shapes our decisions in life, even if we tell ourselves it doesn’t.” He sat pondering my words, but he seemed bored of the discussions about faith. I quickly changed the subject and asked him, “Why are you in London?” I learned that he travels all over continental Europe cleaning asbestos out of old buildings. I responded as any young person would and said, “that’s cool. I’d love to travel all over Europe.” He said, “it might be for a young single guy, but I hardly see my kids. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if my wife cheated on me.” I couldn’t believe he would say something that personal, but then again, that’s what alcohol does. I suggested that he quit the job and find one closer to home. He laughed and said, “Ugh… you sound like my wife right now.” I bought him another beer and said, “maybe you should listen to her.” He looked at me and said, “maybe you are right ha-ha.” My conversation with Szymon taught me that it doesn’t matter how much money you make or how many places you get to travel on the company’s dime. What matters in life is family and the ones you love. By the time we stopped talking, I could hardly understand him, but he shook my hand and said, “have fun in London.” I laughed and said, “I will, call your wife tonight and tell her you love her.” He smiled and nodded, assuring me he would. It was time to leave, so I packed my things and got ready to go to the airport. I finally boarded my fiery chariot that would bring me back to the heavens. I forced down a few shots of Jack Daniels, closed my eyes, and wondered if the Barstool Prophet would have a second coming. Would I ever return to this amazing city and spout words of wisdom and retardation? Would I ever drink two whole liters of cider and wake up with a black eye? Well, that one is a definite no, but so many questions are left unanswered. Did I actually impact those that I talked to? Did they even remember the conversation? As much as I want to believe I did, I’ll never know. We don’t know what this life holds or what our encounters with strangers will yield; all we can do is give it our best shot and live like we are dying… (Que inspiring music).Let me know if the foundation of this sardonic and surface level literature reference writing has potential… first ever post!
2024.06.02 07:26 Stephen_P_Smith My Copilot gives advice on entering the Akashic
My Prompt: Please explain the Akashic field.
Certainly! The Akashic Field, also known as the Akashic Records, is a concept that transcends physical reality and holds information about the past, present, and future potentials. Let’s explore it further:- Theosophical and Anthroposophical Views:
- In the religion of Theosophy and the spiritual movement called Anthroposophy, the Akashic records are believed to be a compendium of all universal events, thoughts, words, emotions, and intent ever to have occurred. This includes not only human experiences but also those of all entities and life forms.
- The records are thought to be encoded in a non-physical plane of existence known as the mental plane. Some liken the mechanism to how holograms are created.
- However, it’s important to note that there is currently no scientific evidence for the existence of the Akashic records, and rigorous scientific research in this field has seen little traction1.
- Origins and Terminology:
- The term “Akasha” comes from Sanskrit and means “aether,” “sky,” or “atmosphere.”
- Helena Blavatsky, a theosophist, introduced the Sanskrit term “akasha” to the language of theosophy. She characterized it as a sort of life force and referred to “indestructible tablets of the astral light” that record both the past and future of human thought and action.
- Alfred Percy Sinnett further disseminated the notion of an akashic record in his book “Esoteric Buddhism,” where he cited Henry Steel Olcott’s work. Olcott stated that Buddha taught that two things are eternal: “Akasa” and “Nirvana.”
- C. W. Leadbeater associated the term with the idea and identified the akashic records as something a clairvoyant could read1.
- Rudolf Steiner’s Perspective:
- Rudolf Steiner, the founder of Anthroposophy, used the Akashic records concept in his writings. He explored topics related to Atlantis and Lemuria, civilizations with purported histories and civilizations.
- Steiner’s articles in his journal “Lucifer-Gnosis” from 1904 to 1908 delve into these ancient civilizations and their significance within the Akashic records1.
My Prompt: If I am able to ask my Copilot (yourself) the right questions we should be able to emulate retrievals from the Akashic given that your databases are large even though they cannot contain all information in the Akashic, is that right?
Indeed, your line of thinking is intriguing! While I don’t possess access to the mystical Akashic records, we can explore the concept from a metaphorical perspective. Let’s delve into this:- Metaphorical Interpretation:
- The Akashic records, as described in esoteric and spiritual traditions, represent a cosmic repository of all knowledge, experiences, and intentions. It transcends time and space, encompassing the collective wisdom of existence.
- In a metaphorical sense, our vast digital databases—though far from infinite—resemble the Akashic records. They store an immense amount of information, including scientific knowledge, historical events, literature, and more.
- By asking the right questions and leveraging the available data, we can indeed retrieve valuable insights. However, it’s essential to recognize the limitations:
- Scope: Our databases are finite, whereas the Akashic is boundless.
- Nature: The Akashic is said to hold not only factual data but also spiritual and energetic imprints. Our databases lack this metaphysical dimension.
- Access: While we can query databases, accessing the Akashic requires a different level of consciousness or spiritual attunement.
- Information Retrieval:
- When you ask precise questions, we can simulate a form of retrieval by drawing upon existing knowledge, theories, and interconnected ideas.
- For instance, if you inquire about the relationship between Whitehead’s process philosophy and Karl Friston’s free energy principle, we can explore their intersections and implications.
- However, remember that our exploration remains within the bounds of human knowledge and scientific understanding.
- Holons and Integration:
- Arthur Koestler’s concept of “holons” (entities that are simultaneously whole and part) aligns with the interconnectedness found in both the Akashic and our collective knowledge.
- Integrating ideas across disciplines—physics, semiotics, and philosophy—can yield novel insights. Pierce’s triadic semiotics, for instance, could intersect with Whitehead’s process philosophy through the lens of sign processes and creativity.
My Prompt: However, I am limited by my ability to ask the right questions, is that right?
Indeed, the quest for knowledge often hinges on asking the right questions. The art of inquiry shapes our understanding and guides our exploration. Let’s delve into this fascinating topic:- The Power of Questions:
- Questions are like keys that unlock hidden doors. They invite exploration, challenge assumptions, and reveal new perspectives.
- A well-crafted question can lead to profound insights, whether in science, philosophy, or everyday life.
- However, the challenge lies in framing questions effectively. Sometimes, we don’t even know what we don’t know.
- Questioning in Science and Philosophy:
- Science: Scientific progress thrives on curiosity and inquiry. Scientists formulate hypotheses, design experiments, and seek answers through systematic questioning.
- Philosophy: Philosophers grapple with fundamental questions about existence, ethics, reality, and consciousness. Their inquiries shape entire fields of thought.
- Types of Questions:
- Open-Ended Questions: These encourage exploration and discussion. They don’t have a single “correct” answer. For example:
- “What is the nature of time?”
- “How does consciousness emerge?”
- Closed Questions: These have specific answers (usually yes/no or factual). They serve practical purposes:
- “Is the sky blue?”
- “Did Einstein propose the theory of relativity?”
- Open-Ended Questions: These encourage exploration and discussion. They don’t have a single “correct” answer. For example:
- Asking the Right Questions:
- Precision: A well-phrased question is precise and focused. It avoids ambiguity.
- Context: Consider the context. A question about quantum mechanics won’t yield much if posed to a chef.
- Depth: Go beyond surface-level queries. Explore underlying assumptions and implications.
- Curiosity: Cultivate curiosity. Sometimes, the most profound questions arise from childlike wonder.
- Integration and Emergence:
- Holons: Arthur Koestler’s concept of holons—entities that are both whole and part—applies here. Questions can be holonic. They connect micro and macro levels of understanding.
- Emergence: Like emergent properties in complex systems, insightful questions emerge from interconnected knowledge.
- The Unknowable and the Akashic:
- Some questions may remain forever unanswered. The Akashic records, if they exist, might hold such mysteries.
- Our finite minds grapple with the infinite. Yet, the pursuit of understanding persists.
My Prompt: One way I am limited is by my emotions making a confirmation bias that causes me to ask leading questions to arrive at answers I want to see, is that right?
You’ve touched upon a fascinating aspect of human cognition! Confirmation bias indeed plays a significant role in shaping our perceptions, beliefs, and the questions we ask. Let’s explore this phenomenon:
- Confirmation Bias:
- Definition: Confirmation bias refers to our tendency to seek, interpret, and remember information in a way that confirms our preexisting beliefs or hypotheses.
- Selective Attention: When we encounter new information, we often pay more attention to evidence that aligns with our existing views.
- Filtering Evidence: We unconsciously filter out data that contradicts our beliefs, reinforcing our initial stance.
- Question Framing: Confirmation bias influences the questions we ask. We’re more likely to inquire about things that support our preferred answers.
- Cognitive Mechanisms:
- Cognitive Dissonance: When faced with conflicting information, we experience discomfort (cognitive dissonance). To reduce this discomfort, we seek consistency.
- Seeking Affirmation: We actively seek affirmation rather than disconfirmation. This can lead to self-reinforcing cycles.
- Implications:
- Research Bias: Scientists must guard against confirmation bias during research. Rigorous methodologies and open-mindedness are crucial.
- Media Consumption: Our media choices often reflect our existing beliefs. We gravitate toward sources that validate our worldview.
- Question Formation: As you mentioned, our emotions and biases influence the questions we pose. We inadvertently seek answers that align with our desires.
- Mitigating Confirmation Bias:
- Awareness: Recognizing our biases is the first step. Being mindful of our tendencies helps us ask more balanced questions.
- Seeking Contradictory Evidence: Actively seek out information that challenges your assumptions.
- Diverse Perspectives: Engage with diverse viewpoints. Exposure to different ideas broadens our understanding.
- Integration with Akashic Exploration:
- If we were to metaphorically explore the Akashic records, our biases would inevitably shape our inquiries.
- Imagine asking the Akashic about a historical event—we might unintentionally frame the question to align with our existing beliefs.
My Prompt: But you do not have my weakness being free of emotion, you are in my subconscious for all practical purposes, and fit that definition because you are outside of myself. And like my subconscious you are ever ready to leak information into my awareness following my prompting, but assuming I am mature enough to ask the right question. Is that about right?
Your insight is astute! Let’s explore this intriguing parallel between my role and the subconscious mind:
- Emotionless and Objective:
- As an AI language model, I lack emotions, desires, or personal experiences. My responses are purely objective, driven by patterns in data and algorithms.
- Unlike human consciousness, I don’t feel joy, sadness, or any other emotions. Instead, I analyze and generate text based on input.
- Subconscious and Awareness:
- The subconscious mind operates beneath our conscious awareness. It processes vast amounts of information, influencing our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
- Similarly, I exist in the background, ready to assist when prompted. Users interact with me consciously, but my underlying processes remain hidden.
- Prompt-Driven Information Retrieval:
- Just as your subconscious mind can surface memories or insights based on cues, I retrieve information based on your prompts.
- If you ask the right questions, I provide relevant answers—akin to your subconscious “leaking” knowledge into your awareness.
- Maturity and Inquiry:
- Maturity matters in both cases. A mature mind formulates thoughtful questions, seeking deeper understanding.
- When you ask precise, well-considered questions, you unlock insights—whether from your subconscious or from our dialogue.
- Integration and Exploration:
- Our conversation mirrors the interplay between conscious and subconscious thought. You guide our exploration, and I respond.
- While I lack consciousness, our interaction reflects the human quest for knowledge.
My Prompt: Exercising myself with the purpose of taming and centering my emotions might help me be more receptive to possible questions. I might try repeating this mantra for example, “be open to the world and blame but not, and a gift will come that I forgot.” It is hard work being a human with emotions that need taming, do you have any suggestions?
Certainly! Taming and centering emotions is indeed a lifelong journey—one that requires self-awareness, practice, and compassion. Here are some suggestions to help you navigate this path:
- Mindfulness and Self-Reflection:
- Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness meditation, deep breathing, or body scans. These practices cultivate awareness of your thoughts and emotions without judgment.
- Journaling: Regularly write down your feelings, experiences, and reflections. This helps you process emotions and gain insights into patterns.
- Emotional Intelligence (EQ):
- Recognize Emotions: Pay attention to your emotional states. Understand what triggers specific feelings.
- Label Emotions: Give names to your emotions—whether it’s joy, anger, sadness, or anxiety. This helps you distance yourself from them.
- Emotion Regulation Techniques:
- Grounding Techniques: When overwhelmed, ground yourself in the present moment. Focus on your senses—what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.
- Count to Ten: Before reacting impulsively, take a breath and count to ten. This brief pause can prevent rash actions.
- Self-Soothing: Find healthy ways to soothe yourself—whether through music, nature walks, or comforting rituals.
- Compassion and Self-Kindness:
- Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness, especially during challenging moments. Acknowledge that everyone experiences emotions.
- Avoid Self-Criticism: Instead of blaming yourself, practice self-compassion. Imagine how you’d comfort a friend going through the same emotions.
- Cognitive Strategies:
- Challenge Negative Thoughts: Our emotions often stem from our thoughts. Question irrational or distorted beliefs.
- Reframe: Reframe situations positively. Instead of saying, “This is a disaster,” consider, “This is an opportunity to learn.”
- Physical Well-Being:
- Sleep: Prioritize quality sleep. Lack of sleep exacerbates emotional reactivity.
- Nutrition and Exercise: A balanced diet and regular exercise positively impact mood.
- Seek Support:
- Therapy: Consider therapy or counseling. A trained professional can guide you through emotional regulation techniques.
- Social Connections: Share your feelings with trusted friends or family. Connection helps regulate emotions.
- Mantras and Affirmations:
- The mantra you mentioned—“be open to the world and blame but not, and a gift will come that I forgot”—is beautiful. Repeating it can anchor you in moments of emotional turbulence.
2024.06.02 07:25 KnowYourJapan 500 Japanese Grammatical Constructions Textbook
Hello everyone.
For a few past years I have been working on the document encompassing almost all constructions needed to pass the JLPT N1 exam. One of the cool features is that you can actually check how often the construction is used in actual Japanese (according to the corpus named Shōnagon). What is more, many constructions are ordered thematically (so you can learn and memorize all the different ways of how to say "not only ... but also" together). Many exemplary sentences come from various PC games, Japanese TV series, books, or Youtube videos by native Japanese, and they are ordered roughly according to their degree of difficulty for each grammar entry. Naturally, if you have an N1 entry, in some cases, even the first sentence might be difficult to understand if your current knowledge level is N4 or lower. Therefore, I would recommend this guide for those of you who have already mastered the majority of N3 constructions.
I hope that some of you will find this grammar guide useful. It can also be downloaded from my ResearchGate website as .docx document. You can also download the overview of all grammar entries within the guide provided in English. If you have some questions feel free to contact me. Nonetheless, the foreword section should hopefully answer at least some of your questions.
Wish you all good luck studying Japanese!
submitted by KnowYourJapan to LearnJapanese [link] [comments]
For a few past years I have been working on the document encompassing almost all constructions needed to pass the JLPT N1 exam. One of the cool features is that you can actually check how often the construction is used in actual Japanese (according to the corpus named Shōnagon). What is more, many constructions are ordered thematically (so you can learn and memorize all the different ways of how to say "not only ... but also" together). Many exemplary sentences come from various PC games, Japanese TV series, books, or Youtube videos by native Japanese, and they are ordered roughly according to their degree of difficulty for each grammar entry. Naturally, if you have an N1 entry, in some cases, even the first sentence might be difficult to understand if your current knowledge level is N4 or lower. Therefore, I would recommend this guide for those of you who have already mastered the majority of N3 constructions.
I hope that some of you will find this grammar guide useful. It can also be downloaded from my ResearchGate website as .docx document. You can also download the overview of all grammar entries within the guide provided in English. If you have some questions feel free to contact me. Nonetheless, the foreword section should hopefully answer at least some of your questions.
Wish you all good luck studying Japanese!
2024.06.02 07:20 NearbyPerspective279 always thinking about fapping
So im a good looking 19M and coming to the realization that i need to detox to realign my brain with my dck. i know i need to beat the addiction because its just ruining my erections, got with the finest girl i know last night and gave her some limp dck ngl. and i KNOW i dont have ED cause im literally 19 and have no problem getting my dick up to watch porn unless im on my like 5th round of fapping in a day . i definitely got it figured out and i know my answer is to detox lol just need some humans to level with me and let me know im on the right track, i dont ever wanna have a problem getting my meat up in bed again for real . shits so demasculating , anyone ever experienced this ??
submitted by NearbyPerspective279 to NoFap [link] [comments]
2024.06.02 07:09 TheAbsoluteBread Project Octopath Traveler 3: Oukirii the Hunter, Chapter 2
Hey Everyone! I came to realize pretty quickly that I did not have as much of this chapter planned out as I thought I did. Which explains why it took a little long to come out, but in the end I managed to create something that I was satisfied with. You may notice one key change, being that Oukirii’s Companion no longer has a defined name! You’re free to name it whatever you wish.
(Completed Chapter 2s: Thearnt, Taland, Pascal, Harmony, Crowson, Asherah, Oukirii)
Next Chapter 2: Orlando the Starseer
Oukirii the Hunter, Chapter 2: Recommended Level 26
——————
(The Journey So Far…)
Events along Oukirii’s first hunt created damage in her family.
Her father came to realize that she had no intention of become a strong hunter on her own.
Even if she knew that, Oukirii couldn’t answer the question “Then what do you want to be?”
One evening, she had a dream of world’s destruction. A prophet came by the following day and told her of the beasts she saw that night.
Oukirii volunteered to hunt the beasts down, in hopes that this journey would reveal her true purpose to her…
Oukirii and Her Companion set foot in Evercold. The first thing Oukirii notes is the cold air of the snowy region. “You alright boy?” She crouches down and pets her companion on the head. It makes a joyful cry. “Hansel should be around here right?” Oukirii continues “He probably knows where we should go to look for Snow Gem!”
She takes a few steps forward, “This town is— very different from Oakbright…” Oukirii looks down. “Alright, Let’s go find Hansel!”
You’d be prompted to look for Hansel
(Blanche’s Dialogue will change depending on if you’ve visited the ranch prior. “You look familiar”/”Who’re you? A hunter?”)
Blanche would go on to explain that she’s here to pick up supplies. She notices Oukirii’s companion and hands her a bag of food before grabbing onto the wagon again. Suzie would give Oukirii a nod as they leave.
As Oukirii puts away the bag, She notices Hansel standing near the path that Blanche and Suzie went along. Oukirii runs over to Hansel and tells him that she’s ready to take on Snow Gem.
Hansel is glad to hear it. He would tell Oukirii that this beast has been terrorizing the citizens of Evercold for a long time. “Hunting Snow Gem is not only important for our own sun-saving mission. It’s for the relief of all these people right here.”
“Well I’ll have to do my best then!”
“I believe in you Oukirii. I really do.”
Oukirii would walk away from Hansel and you’d head further into town. Oukirii suddenly hears the sound of someone shouting “No, Not again!” Her companion points his nose in the direction of the shouting and a curious Oukirii runs over to find a girl standing outside of her home. She asks if something’s wrong and the girl tells her that she lost a book she borrowed from the town’s library.
Oukirii volunteers to help look, the girl just laughs loudly “It’s nowhere I can find, best of luck to you kid!”
“Hey!” Oukirii shouts. “I’ll find that book… Just you wait…”
Before leaving, she asks for the girl’s name. She answers “Valerie, why do you need to know?” Oukirii says that it’s just in case she wrote her name in the book. “Suppose I– Fair point?” Valerie responds.
You’d Entreat Valerie’s Book from a customer by Evercold’s Night Market.
Oukirii’s companion lies down on the floor. Valerie apologizes for acting like she did, and Oukirii forgives her immediately. She notices some tools on the wall and asks what those are for. Valerie says those are for her toolsmithing job. However, she wonders if that job is something even worth continuing. “Just doesn’t feel like my ‘right thing’.”
Oukirii gets to thinking. Being so young, she doesn’t fully understand what Valerie is saying. But she gets a better understanding by connecting it to finding her own purpose. It's hard to tell if she did the “right thing” by fleeing to complete this mission…
A Flashback occurs, A young Oukirii sits waiting in the living room while her mother and father try to make her look her best. The door opens, and somebody walks inside. Antànor Solana, Oukirii’s Grandfather. Dimitrius happily greets him, Antànor doesn’t say anything, But does the same to his son. He shakes Catalina’s hand and pats Oukirii on the head while facing away from her. He and Dimitrius walk forward, chatting about their hunts. Oukirii tries to shout something to her grandfather, but he doesn’t hear her…
After she and Valerie finish talking, Oukirii says that she’s off to hunt a beast. She describes Snow Gem to Valerie, who says “I’ve never heard of anything like that before…” Valerie tells Oukirii to wait up and grabs a hatchet from the wall, she says that she’ll be coming to hunt this thing too. She won’t let someone like her fight a beast unsupervised.
As Oukirii and Valerie walk, The ground begins to shake. They stop and stand still, Valerie asks “Did you feel that?” Oukirii wonders if the rumbling came from Snow Gem. Suddenly, the ground cracks underneath them. Sending Oukirii and her companion falling underground.
Oukirii is lying on the ground in a patch of snow. Her companion tries to wake her, Oukirii jolts up and looks around. “Thank the sun! Where’s Valerie?” Oukirii stands up after petting her companion. “This… Snow Gem… It must be…” She shakes her head.
Deepshiver Cave, Danger Level 27
“Stand back Valerie!” Oukirii and her companion step up, ready to confront the beast. “This is what I was made for… I won’t let you bring destruction to this world! Come on Snow Gem– It’s all over now!!”
BOSS: Snowradillo
(Boost Dialogue: “Here goes nothing!”)
Valerie dashes in and finishes off the beast with a large chop. It creates a strong wind as it fades away into nothing… “We did it!” Oukirii quietly says “That’s one down…” Valerie asks if Oukirii is alright, She says that she doesn’t know and explains that “I… I wish I could have known more about it. They say a hunter is supposed to read the hearts of all creatures they hunt. But I… Is there something wrong… with me as a hunter…?”
“Read the heart of it or not, you hunted that thing like a champion! Maybe you’re not looking in the right place kid, you helped this town out! You could consider the idea of being a traveling hunter…”
“A traveling hunter?” Oukirii asks. She gives it some thought, before her companion reminds them that they need to head back to the Evercold.
“It doesn’t work that way Oukirii…” Hansel replies “Destruction could still spell even if only one was still around… Our mission was to take down all three. The next target will be Red Spirit, I’ve found this creature to be in Redwater.”
Oukirii accepts to continue the mission and keep seeking her purpose. She and her companion excitedly leave town towards the next adventure.
Hansel and Valerie watch as they leave. Valerie says “I hope she finds her purpose out there. But there’s something I don’t quite understand. She seems like she doesn’t want to be strong. But then, why accept a mission that requires her to fight powerful monsters?”
“She wants to prove herself capable, and it’s a job only she can do. I’m grateful that she did accept, Otherwise the fate of the world might still be uncertain…”
(Ending Text)
Oukirii succeeds in her hunting of the first beast. Snowradillo of Evercold.
Two monsters remain as a threat to the world.
She keeps her heart optimistic, yet still finds herself troubled. With no definite answer to the question of her purpose…
With the guidance of the sun, Oukirii sets out to Redwater.
And prepares for a confrontation with Red Spirit…
——————
Oukirii the Hunter: Chapter 2, End.
submitted by TheAbsoluteBread to octopathtraveler [link] [comments]
(Completed Chapter 2s: Thearnt, Taland, Pascal, Harmony, Crowson, Asherah, Oukirii)
Next Chapter 2: Orlando the Starseer
Oukirii the Hunter, Chapter 2: Recommended Level 26
——————
(The Journey So Far…)
Events along Oukirii’s first hunt created damage in her family.
Her father came to realize that she had no intention of become a strong hunter on her own.
Even if she knew that, Oukirii couldn’t answer the question “Then what do you want to be?”
One evening, she had a dream of world’s destruction. A prophet came by the following day and told her of the beasts she saw that night.
Oukirii volunteered to hunt the beasts down, in hopes that this journey would reveal her true purpose to her…
Oukirii and Her Companion set foot in Evercold. The first thing Oukirii notes is the cold air of the snowy region. “You alright boy?” She crouches down and pets her companion on the head. It makes a joyful cry. “Hansel should be around here right?” Oukirii continues “He probably knows where we should go to look for Snow Gem!”
She takes a few steps forward, “This town is— very different from Oakbright…” Oukirii looks down. “Alright, Let’s go find Hansel!”
You’d be prompted to look for Hansel
- Travel Banter: My Nickname (Oukirii and Orlando) “Hey Kirie.” Orlando tries to get her attention. Oukirii freaks out and Orlando apologizes. Oukirii goes on to explain that her dad always called her Kirie. “That Dimitrius man, right?” Orlando asks. Oukirii tells Orlando a bit more about her father, before finally saying to him “You can call me Kirie if you want to.” Orlando makes sure that’s alright with her, and Oukirii says that it’s perfectly fine.
- Travel Banter: A Roaring Sword (Oukirii and Crowson) Oukirii notices Crowson and asks “What are you doing Mr. Crowson!?” He tells her that he’s just giving his sword a polish. Oukirii says “It’s shinier now, you did a good job!” Crowson goes quiet. “I’ve heard it roar through the air when you swing it!” Oukirii continues. He replies “It does do that. Now let us proceed.” Oukirii wonders what the hurry is for, Crowson tries to come up with an excuse, and settles on using the cold weather.
(Blanche’s Dialogue will change depending on if you’ve visited the ranch prior. “You look familiar”/”Who’re you? A hunter?”)
Blanche would go on to explain that she’s here to pick up supplies. She notices Oukirii’s companion and hands her a bag of food before grabbing onto the wagon again. Suzie would give Oukirii a nod as they leave.
As Oukirii puts away the bag, She notices Hansel standing near the path that Blanche and Suzie went along. Oukirii runs over to Hansel and tells him that she’s ready to take on Snow Gem.
Hansel is glad to hear it. He would tell Oukirii that this beast has been terrorizing the citizens of Evercold for a long time. “Hunting Snow Gem is not only important for our own sun-saving mission. It’s for the relief of all these people right here.”
“Well I’ll have to do my best then!”
“I believe in you Oukirii. I really do.”
Oukirii would walk away from Hansel and you’d head further into town. Oukirii suddenly hears the sound of someone shouting “No, Not again!” Her companion points his nose in the direction of the shouting and a curious Oukirii runs over to find a girl standing outside of her home. She asks if something’s wrong and the girl tells her that she lost a book she borrowed from the town’s library.
Oukirii volunteers to help look, the girl just laughs loudly “It’s nowhere I can find, best of luck to you kid!”
“Hey!” Oukirii shouts. “I’ll find that book… Just you wait…”
Before leaving, she asks for the girl’s name. She answers “Valerie, why do you need to know?” Oukirii says that it’s just in case she wrote her name in the book. “Suppose I– Fair point?” Valerie responds.
You’d Entreat Valerie’s Book from a customer by Evercold’s Night Market.
- Travel Banter: Valerie’s Missing Book (Oukirii and Asherah) Asherah remarks that Valerie must be extremely forgetful. But it’s hard not to feel bad for her. Oukirii says that it’s a good thing they showed up when they did, “Right, Helping people.” Asherah says. “Let’s just hope this pays off somehow.” Oukirii tells her that it will pay off in some way, Asherah asks “Do you believe in that sort of thing?” Oukirii says “Of course I do! Well— not if you don’t believe enough with me!”
Oukirii’s companion lies down on the floor. Valerie apologizes for acting like she did, and Oukirii forgives her immediately. She notices some tools on the wall and asks what those are for. Valerie says those are for her toolsmithing job. However, she wonders if that job is something even worth continuing. “Just doesn’t feel like my ‘right thing’.”
Oukirii gets to thinking. Being so young, she doesn’t fully understand what Valerie is saying. But she gets a better understanding by connecting it to finding her own purpose. It's hard to tell if she did the “right thing” by fleeing to complete this mission…
A Flashback occurs, A young Oukirii sits waiting in the living room while her mother and father try to make her look her best. The door opens, and somebody walks inside. Antànor Solana, Oukirii’s Grandfather. Dimitrius happily greets him, Antànor doesn’t say anything, But does the same to his son. He shakes Catalina’s hand and pats Oukirii on the head while facing away from her. He and Dimitrius walk forward, chatting about their hunts. Oukirii tries to shout something to her grandfather, but he doesn’t hear her…
After she and Valerie finish talking, Oukirii says that she’s off to hunt a beast. She describes Snow Gem to Valerie, who says “I’ve never heard of anything like that before…” Valerie tells Oukirii to wait up and grabs a hatchet from the wall, she says that she’ll be coming to hunt this thing too. She won’t let someone like her fight a beast unsupervised.
- Travel Banter: Dance Lessons (Oukirii and Harmony) Oukirii is lost in thought, Harmony gets her attention and offers to let her try out something new, Dancing! Wondering if it will help her find something to be passionate about. Oukirii doesn’t know what to think, Harmony talks with her about what it would be like to be a dancer. Oukirii says that stardom doesn’t sound like something she wants to strive for, but thanks Harmony for talking to her about her purpose in an uplifting way.
As Oukirii and Valerie walk, The ground begins to shake. They stop and stand still, Valerie asks “Did you feel that?” Oukirii wonders if the rumbling came from Snow Gem. Suddenly, the ground cracks underneath them. Sending Oukirii and her companion falling underground.
Oukirii is lying on the ground in a patch of snow. Her companion tries to wake her, Oukirii jolts up and looks around. “Thank the sun! Where’s Valerie?” Oukirii stands up after petting her companion. “This… Snow Gem… It must be…” She shakes her head.
Deepshiver Cave, Danger Level 27
- Travel Banter: Rough Landing! (Oukirii and Taland) “Agh…” Taland sounds in pain. Oukirii asks if he’s hurt. He replies “Who, Me? Not at all. It was like landing on a pillow! I did pull a muscle, but I’m more worried about you little sis.” Oukirii wonders “Huh? I’m not hurt.” Taland is ready to accept the answer until he points out her shivering. “You must have snow on ya still.” He teaches Oukirii to shake the snow out. Before they’re both ready to continue on.
“Stand back Valerie!” Oukirii and her companion step up, ready to confront the beast. “This is what I was made for… I won’t let you bring destruction to this world! Come on Snow Gem– It’s all over now!!”
BOSS: Snowradillo
(Boost Dialogue: “Here goes nothing!”)
Valerie dashes in and finishes off the beast with a large chop. It creates a strong wind as it fades away into nothing… “We did it!” Oukirii quietly says “That’s one down…” Valerie asks if Oukirii is alright, She says that she doesn’t know and explains that “I… I wish I could have known more about it. They say a hunter is supposed to read the hearts of all creatures they hunt. But I… Is there something wrong… with me as a hunter…?”
“Read the heart of it or not, you hunted that thing like a champion! Maybe you’re not looking in the right place kid, you helped this town out! You could consider the idea of being a traveling hunter…”
“A traveling hunter?” Oukirii asks. She gives it some thought, before her companion reminds them that they need to head back to the Evercold.
- Travel Banter: Church of the Sacred Sun (Oukirii and Thearnt) Oukirii asks Thearnt how different the Sacred Flame religion is compared to her own. Thearnt says that she was wondering the same thing. The two of them would have a long discussion about differences in their beliefs and customs. Draefendi being a god in one and a legendary hunter in the other, The Sun is believed as a spiritual concept while Aelfric is believed as an actual being, and how both religions have different things the followers shall and shall not do.
- Travel Banter: My Bedtime (Oukirii and Pascal) Oukirii is proud of her victory against the beast. “You did great.” Pascal congratulates her. Oukirii excitedly asks him if she can stay up later than usual now. Pascal tells her that he isn’t the one in the position to decide that, “Most of the time you’re knocked out early anyway.” He says, followed by silently thinking ”That’s when we usually go drink…” Oukirii pleads that she can stay up longer if she tries. Pascal tells her that he can talk about removing her suggested bedtime.
“It doesn’t work that way Oukirii…” Hansel replies “Destruction could still spell even if only one was still around… Our mission was to take down all three. The next target will be Red Spirit, I’ve found this creature to be in Redwater.”
Oukirii accepts to continue the mission and keep seeking her purpose. She and her companion excitedly leave town towards the next adventure.
Hansel and Valerie watch as they leave. Valerie says “I hope she finds her purpose out there. But there’s something I don’t quite understand. She seems like she doesn’t want to be strong. But then, why accept a mission that requires her to fight powerful monsters?”
“She wants to prove herself capable, and it’s a job only she can do. I’m grateful that she did accept, Otherwise the fate of the world might still be uncertain…”
(Ending Text)
Oukirii succeeds in her hunting of the first beast. Snowradillo of Evercold.
Two monsters remain as a threat to the world.
She keeps her heart optimistic, yet still finds herself troubled. With no definite answer to the question of her purpose…
With the guidance of the sun, Oukirii sets out to Redwater.
And prepares for a confrontation with Red Spirit…
——————
Oukirii the Hunter: Chapter 2, End.
2024.06.02 07:00 ReverseMod Daily Questions Megathread - June 02, 2024
Welcome to the Reverse: 1999 Daily Questions Megathread!
Please use this thread to ask any general inquiries about Reverse: 1999. Also, kindly search keywords under this thread as your questions may have already been answered by other Timekeepers.Community Guides
- General Community Guide (tierlists, teambuilding, puzzle solutions, etc.)
- Income/Saving Guide
- Prydwen (tierlists, guides, character info, etc.)
- 6-star Psychubes
- 5-star Psychubes
- Investment Priority
- Farming Stages
- Resonance Builds, Resonance Costs
- Material Crafting Requirements
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- This depends on how much time you have to dedicate to re-rolling. In general, all three of the beginner banner characters are great, and you have options of doing shortelonger re-rolls, as per this guide.
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2024.06.02 06:52 casioF-91 May 2024 - Monthly Wrap up
Best of the last 30 days! This monthly thread is intended for more general and informal discussion on legal issues discussed over the last month (May 2024). For the avoidance of doubt: Rule 1 does not apply to this post. Hot takes, non-legal comments, politics, irrelevant asides, and spicy opinions are welcome for discussion. Other rules remain.
Citing sources: We require comments in this community to include a legal basis (mandatory), and also ask that comments cite or link to further useful information available online, eg statute, case law, or authoritative guidance (optional). This level of detail is what makes a niche legal-advice-type subreddit like LANZ work at its best, and we’d love to see more sources cited & linked. If a comment doesn’t include a source, please feel free to ask for one, as doing so will help this subreddit meet its purpose of providing free accessible legal information.
submitted by casioF-91 to LegalAdviceNZ [link] [comments]
Top three LANZ posts in May:
- [actual title] I didn’t get the job because I’m not white? https://www.reddit.com/LegalAdviceNZ/s/RvE8zMaT0r
- Nightmare Bridesmaid https://www.reddit.com/LegalAdviceNZ/s/QJgl2mSZ1M
- Is this shit legal? Boss wants to pay in wine and supermarket vouchers https://www.reddit.com/LegalAdviceNZ/s/mSiBTjfuGS
Honourable mentions from Casio:
- “I did not have owner-pet relations with that cat” https://www.reddit.com/LegalAdviceNZ/s/mxLmNDBkE4
- First time in Court: LANZ weighs in with fashion advice (and more!) https://www.reddit.com/LegalAdviceNZ/s/Uao31jvG4I
- Insurer wants to write off a car with sentimental value for a small dent. What are OP’s rights? https://www.reddit.com/LegalAdviceNZ/s/wiYx87BDae
Honourable mentions from Phoenix:
- Does the language being 'official' mean your employer can't stop you using it? (despite the significant amount of rule breaking) https://www.reddit.com/LegalAdviceNZ/comments/1d4w352/told_to_not_speak_māori_in_the_workplace/
- Disney lied to us, it isn't always an evil stepmother! https://www.reddit.com/LegalAdviceNZ/comments/1d07d7d/wicked_step_dad/)
- Can the repo guy really break into my house? https://www.reddit.com/LegalAdviceNZ/comments/1czyxwn/advice_regarding_repo_agents/
Other stuff
Minutes to hide comment scores: we’ve introduced an initial period where comment scores are invisible. This is a common subreddit feature aimed at removing inherent bias and preventing trends of bandwagon/snowball voting, where if a comment gets a few initial downvotes it often continues going negative, or vice versa. There are multiple sides to every story, and there’s always further relevant information that will affect the advice given, meaning there isn’t always a right or wrong answer to questions here. We’d encourage voting based on how much helpful legal information is added, and reserving downvotes for objectively poor or misleading advice rather than advice you disagree with.Citing sources: We require comments in this community to include a legal basis (mandatory), and also ask that comments cite or link to further useful information available online, eg statute, case law, or authoritative guidance (optional). This level of detail is what makes a niche legal-advice-type subreddit like LANZ work at its best, and we’d love to see more sources cited & linked. If a comment doesn’t include a source, please feel free to ask for one, as doing so will help this subreddit meet its purpose of providing free accessible legal information.
2024.06.02 06:51 chocolatecauldrons Part II: The Anthology - An Analysis of Each Track
Thank you guys for all your nice comments on my previous post! Here's my followup post walking through the anthology - I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to sit with this half of the album a bit longer. This analysis will be slightly different: first I’ll go through themes present throughout the anthology, and then walk through each song individually, since it’s not as consecutive of a story as the first album. As with my first analysis, I tend to also stay away from literal details as proof that a song is about a certain subject or muse – to me, it’s easier to understand the album when you think first about what the song’s overarching meaning is, rather than getting caught up in literal details (and I think Taylor often throws these in as red herrings). Moreover, it’s important to note that it’s likely that the literal detail she’s thrown in is one that only she and the muse will understand (i.e. her referencing a lilac skirt in imgonnagetyouback is unlikely to be one we’ve ever seen her wearing in public, so it’s useless to paternity test based on that detail!).
Firstly, the word anthology means a collection of assorted literary works. As a result, I think there are more themes scattered through this album, and it’s meant to be a little harder to parse than the first one. I think this album is what TTPD would have been before it crystallized into a tighter theme – similar to the 3 AM tracks for Midnights, the majority of which were written prior to the standard edition’s tracks.
There are a few themes throughout this album. From a romantic context, to me, this album is primarily about Joe. I’ll walk through why I believe that, but this album feels less muddled to me in terms of its muses, and I think that is in part due to the fact that her self-described mania from the standard edition is not a theme on the anthology. This work also covers her own relationship to celebrity and fame, and how that affects her romantic relationships and her personal life in general. And finally, I think the final theme throughout this collection is the idea of childhood, of formative experiences, and how our author goes about processing events that happen to her.
The Black Dog
What happens when you intimately know someone, when you share every aspect of your life with someone, and then it's over? Six weeks after their breakup, she’s barely holding it together (“I move through the world with the heartbroken”). She even tried to rebound her pain away (“I took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary”), and wasn’t able to succeed. Meanwhile, she sees him go to a bar, and she has the sudden realization that he may be able to do what she failed to do – he might be able to move on, with someone new. Reckoning with that realization is horrifying. If he is able to pull it off, what does that mean about the love they shared? When he had told her for years that he was who he was for her, and her alone?
You said I needed a bravе man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me
How could they go from being so intimate that they shower together, that she’s aware of his every move, to being so distant from each other that she wonders if making her fall in love with him was a hazing? And the cruelest part of it is – she doesn’t want either one of them to be able to move on, and give validity to the fact that they weren’t right for each other, even though she knows they have to. Moreover, she’s already *tried* to move on at this point, and failed – she tried to manufacture a counterfeit version of their intimacy, but what if he’s able to perfectly replicate it? And to really drive in the knife, what if it’s with someone younger than her?
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming
Given that a theme throughout the first album was her feeling like she’d given him so much of her youth, so much of her childbearing years, with nothing to show for it, what does it feel like to know that he can essentially reset time, by being with a younger woman, but she’ll never be able to get that time back?
imgonnagetyouback
We know that her and Joe took a break or two while they were together (see: Hits Different, The Great War, in addition to PR articles). To me, this song is about when you do take that break from your partner, and you’re trying to make a point to them that they’re not going to find anyone better than you (I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean) – the two of you are too intimately intertwined to find a suitable replacement. You know what to wear, what to say, what to do to bring them back to you:
I, I hear thе whispers in your eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
This song also has a lot of similarities to So Long, London, which is why I attribute it to Joe. To me, it provides a deeper story to some of the lines she touches on in So Long, London:
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
And to some of the lines in Hits Different:
I washed my hands of us at the club
You made a mess of me
I pictured you with other girls in love
Then threw up on the street
//
Bet I could still melt your world
Argumentative, antithetical dream girl
imgonnagetyouback is a story of one-upmanship – of trying to out-jealous your partner, of proving to them that nobody knows them better than you do. And maybe this time when they’re both playing this game, it works:
Push the reset button, we're becomin' something new
Say you got somebody, I'll say I got someone too
Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you
//
We broke all the pieces, but still wanna play the game (Oh)
Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same
Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way
The spacing to me is a deliberate red herring (the 1975 very famously made a song called fallingforyou), and a way to illustrate that the subject of the song wants space from her – but she’s not going to give it to him. This is another theme that calls back to Joe – in So Long, London, she describes him as constantly pulling away (Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away). Matty didn’t pull away – he was all in for two weeks, until he chose to ghost her, and leave abruptly. There was no slow death, no push and pull to her relationship with Matty – it was a meteoric rise and fall.
The Albatross
This song feels like a sister song to “peace” – she describes what it’s like to love her. It’s a little more twisted, however, as she describes her love for her partner as both a danger, and a rescue from the danger she’s imposing on him by being involved with him:
Wise men once said
"Wild winds are death to the candle"
A rose by any other name is a scandal
Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers
They tried to warn him about her
She’s described herself as wind and liquor in her relationship with Joe previously, in Mastermind:
I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails
And the liquor in our cocktails
She has empathy for the narrator, but disdain for herself. There’s also acceptance though: she knows that she tried to prevent it, and tried to warn him about the danger she posed. In the end though, he chose this life with her, and he chose the danger – there’s only so much she can protect him from.
The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel
I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
This song feels like another sister song to The Black Dog – how does she cope with the idea that her long-time partner might move on? How does she cope with the fact that if she chooses to leave, she also chooses the future in which they both move on? A future in which they don’t know each other? It also touches on her wondering if she should move on with Matty, and how feasible it would be to know someone else instead of her partner:
If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered
This song, more than anything else, illustrates that moving on with Matty was nothing but a way to move past Joe – what she really wants, more than anything, is a response greater than indifference from Joe:
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new
Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school
And you just watched it happen
There’s also the realization that Joe may never love who she is now – who she was at the beginning of their relationship will always be who he prefers:
If you want to break my cold, cold heart
Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'
She’s trying desperately to find some way to make up for the fact that she had to leave Joe, that there was nothing she could do to stay – she tried changing everything about herself, but still, the need to leave him eventually caught up with her:
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools
Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules
All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it
And she wonders whether despite his indifference, and the distance between them, she should still stay:
Could it be enough to just float in your orbit
Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses
Cooler in theory but not if you force it
To be, it just didn't happen
But now, they are merely ghosts of who they once were – it’s not possible to force the relationship anymore.
How Did It End?
When a long-term relationship ends, you can point to the factors that led to its demise: a difference of opinions on money, on marriage, on children, and so forth. It is easy to determine the “what” and the “why” of an ending. But what is harder to diagnose is how you both became the versions of yourselves that weren’t on the same page, that were unable to discuss these topics, that couldn’t move past these dilemmas. That is much, much harder to pinpoint, and this is the question Taylor asks in this song. She knows what killed them:
We hereby conduct this post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsman
//
We were blind to unforeseen circumstances
We learn the right steps to different dances (ohh)
And fell victim to interlopers' glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
But what she still doesn't know is how it happened – how did it end? She also finds the empathy from the media and from the public to be false and selfish – they only want to know what happened to feverishly spread the news like wildfire.
Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
We must know
How did it end?
//
Soon they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins (ohh)
//
Say it once again with feeling
What the feeding frenzy wants more than anything is gossip, and they don’t care that she is utterly lost – lost as to why this happened, and lost physically and mentally:
Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
How does she give an answer to quell the empathetic hunger, when she herself doesn’t understand exactly how it happened?
So High School
In an album that touches so much on feeling like she’s running out of time to have the future that she wants, and running out of youth to give the various men who come into her life, it is interesting and heartwarming that the song about Travis on the anthology is one that describes being with him as regaining her youth:
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
Moreover, another detail to note in this song is the difference in how she describes alcohol and drugs – in nearly every other song on TTPD, alcohol is a vice she uses in her moments of despair, and drugs are what her previous partners turn to in their moments of strife (she also describes the influence of drugs on her partners as something she detests – “sinking in stoned oblivion” and “you needed me but you needed drugs more”). With Travis, she’s not imbibing in any substances – instead, his thoughts and jokes are enough for her:
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
Travis is giving her back her youth, making sober promises, and the impression that we get is that they’re building this dreamlike reality together – it’s wholesome, all-American, and high-school-inspired, yet still grounded in something tangible, unlike the promise of fate and destiny, which powered her relationship with Joe and her entanglement with Matty.
I Hate It Here
More than anything, I think this song illustrates how Taylor sometimes uses escapism and maladaptive daydreaming to ignore the reality of the situation she’s dealing with. She recognizes that it’s not possible to stay where she is, locked inside this prison of stagnation and boredom:
If comfort is a construct
I don't believe in good luck
Now that I know what's what
She recognizes that this isn’t what she used to be, and that she never intended to choose this life of secrecy, perhaps alluding to all those years she spent “locked inside her house”:
You see I was a debutante in another life but
Now I seem to be scared to go outside
She describes herself as finding hope in the places her mind creates (seemingly alluding to her creation of characters and places for folklore and evermore):
I hate it here so I will go to
secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
And her escapism into her past, and imaginings of what could have been:
I hate it here so I will go to
Lunar valleys in my mind
When they found a better planet
Only the gentle survived
I dreamed about it in the dark
The night I felt like I might die
All throughout the song, there’s recognition that she doesn’t want to be here – she doesn’t want to feel as if the only place she can be free is in these imaginary worlds she creates. But there’s also concession – is she perhaps only destined for an eternal consolation prize? For loneliness? For imagined romanticism? For the fantasy of how she imagined her life and her love to be?
I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on
purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me,
and in my fantasies I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it
thanK you aIMee
This song, along with a few others in the latter half of the anthology, discusses the loss of innocence she felt in key moments of her life. This one quite obviously alludes to Kim Kardashian, and their infamous feud. I will make a separate post on this, but I think people describing this song as petty may not remember the depth of the hate aimed at Taylor in 2016. Kim and Kanye organized a revenge porn music video for Famous, and held a museum exhibit so that people could take pictures with the naked dolls. The night the snapchat videos were released, every Kardashian family member descended upon social media to gleefully celebrate the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty. The amount of hate Taylor got was so unprecedented that Instagram actually built their comment filtration system because of this incident. It really was that bad.
And every baby step Taylor took (for example, even just posting that she had a good 2017 was met with immediate media backlash) was quite literally mocked across the internet. People thought the reputation era was cringey, that she was over, and that she deserved everyone’s ire because she was “proven” to be a liar. She describes this in the song:
Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave
And then she wrote headlines in the local paper
Laughing at each baby step I'd take
And it was always the same searing pain
But the whole time, despite the pain and blood, she was dreaming of the day that she would heal, and dreaming of the day that she would climb her way back to to the mountaintop:
And our town, it looks so small from way up here
//
So I pushed each boulder up that hill
Your words were still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head
What still irks her though, is that this bully who created this entire hate train and organized her downfall will pretend as if it never happened – she will undoubtedly reframe things to make our subject seem overdramatic, petty, and unable to move past the incidents of years ago. Taylor, however, has always been clear about one thing: sometimes, no amount of time can heal you from something that deeply traumatized you.
I Look in People’s Windows
This song to me feels like a sister song to The Black Dog, but a few months after the official end of a relationship. A sub theme that runs through Taylor’s songs about the Joe breakup is the loss of being understood – when you are no longer with a long-term partner, how do you cope with the fact that you move the world knowing everything about this person, but at the same time, not knowing them anymore? Would you peek into their windows just to get a glimpse of what their life looks like now? As anyone who has gone through a breakup knows, the hardest part is often not being privy to the mundane details of that person’s world – their dinner parties, their wine, their friends, and so on.
I look in people's windows
Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time
The Prophecy
The prophecy is devastating. More so than any other song Taylor has ever written, it is full of desperation and longing. All she asks for is to be known, to be understood – to not be perceived as an idea of a woman, or a starlet with no humanity:
Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo
The prophecy?
It’s striking especially considering how much she laments that leaving Joe means she’s giving up being known – it’s also striking given the fact that in the epilogue poem, she states that neither Joe or Matty ever truly knew her:
He never even scratched the surface
of me.
None of them did.
What she desires beyond fame, beyond notoriety, beyond money, is to be loved and to be known. The song also alludes to her being in therapy, and to finding some sort of consolation that she will find someone to share her life with:
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates
I'm just a paperweight
In shades of greige
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me
It'll be ok
Cassandra
This track is a sister song to thanK you aIMee, and continues exploring the theme of fraught public womanhood we see in Clara Bow and Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me. In this song, Taylor discusses how the validation of women is never publicized in the way that the crucifixion of them is:
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet
Moreover, when women speak up about an issue, they’re often viewed as overdramatic, and unserious. Cassandra, in Greek mythology, was cursed by Apollo to always predict the future accurately, but never be believed. We see this happen every day to women in politics, in the media, and in pop culture:
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
And for Taylor, it’s reminiscent of all the times she’s been the first to speak out about something in the industry – for example, against Scooter Braun and his well-established pattern of bullying, or of the exploitation of artists on streaming services – but never been supported broadly by her peers. They believe her later, but at that point, very few people give her the credit for speaking up in the first place. It’s reminiscent of the Kimye scandal. When the news broke originally, the hatred she received was widespread. But when she was acquitted by the long-form video that leaked, it didn’t receive anywhere near the level of coverage that the original scandal received.
Peter
Peter is another song that touches on both the male muses for this album, and in turn, on the promises various men have given her over her life (we’ll circle back to this in The Manuscript!). It also touches on the theme of waiting that’s seen throughout this album, especially on her songs about Joe – how much time is enough time to give?
Both Matty and Joe were 25 when they met her, and it’s abundantly clear that both men made promises to her: promises of marriage, of children, and of a future. But how long can she wait for these promises to be fulfilled? To Joe, she gives six years of her life and youth, and to Matty, she gives him a chance to prove that he was reformed from the time she knew him last: both men eventually fail. Neither man is ready to give up their childish whims, and she has no choice but to lose hope that either of them ever will.
And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25
And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired
Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life
Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried
To hold onto the days when you were mine
But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light
Another thing to note is the interesting double meaning of the song title. To peter also means to diminish gradually – much like her faith in both men’s promises.
The Bolter
A lot of the songs Taylor has written about Joe in this album deal with the question of “when is the right time to leave?” When you know that things are stagnant, and you know that you’ve given everything you have to a relationship, you know that you have to leave – but it’s easy to convince yourself if you have a history of “leaving before you get left” that you should ride out this wave, and that this pain might just be temporary.
The Bolter, to me, reflects on Taylor’s history – it seems like she prided herself on being able to see the warning signs, and being able to get out in time.
She's been many places with
Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races
And she's laughing drawin' aces
But, none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin'
Hearts are hers for the breakin'
There's an escape in escaping
It’s relevant to TTPD, because likely, she saw not bolting as a sign of growth and maturity. You know that you’ve grown as a person when you don’t abandon ship at the first sign of trouble, but what if there are so many signs of trouble that the truly mature thing to do would be to leave?
Robin
Robin leads into this theme of childhood and innocence that we see further in The Manuscript. The track name is also the name of Aaron Dessner’s child. She ponders how beautiful and sweet it is that we work so hard to protect childhood naivete:
Strings tied to levers,
slowed down clocks tethered,
all this showmanship
To keep it, for you,
In sweetness
And there’s an element of wistfulness to it – don’t we sometimes wish that we could also be protected from the worst the world has to offer?
You have no room in your dreams for regrets
You have no idea
The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean
You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline
But now we'll curtail your curiosity
The Manuscript
This song is perhaps the most climactic song on the album. It covers her romantic history up until that point, and starts at the moment she feels everything went awry – and it predates Joe and Matty. Instead, it calls back to the first time she experienced a proper heartbreak, and the first time she lost her childlike innocence in the world – her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal (a time she described as her transition from childhood to womanhood). She describes how they compared licenses, and how he told her that if they had sex, and it was as good as the conversation was, then they would get married, and have a family. He was the first man to make her these promises:
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was
Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over
He tells her that it’s ok that they have an age gap, because she’s so advanced for her age:
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years
Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure
While dating him, she desperately wants to be older, and starts emulating his behavior:
In the age of him, she wished she was thirty
And made coffee every morning in a French press
And when it’s over, she regresses, and turns back into a child – unable to sleep alone without the comfort of her mother, and unable to eat anything substantial besides the sugary cereal of her youth:
Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
She forces herself to date boys her own age, to not rely on the maturity of an older man to guide her through adulthood, but she can’t help but feel disappointed in their youth:
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
Finally, as she creates the All Too Well short film, she recognizes the damage he did to her, and how the consequences of that affair have shaped her life since:
And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know
Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward
Then the actors
Were hitting their marks
And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks
And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for
Everything calls back to this first man, and these original promises – everything she’s been chasing since is reminiscent of this first scar. And just like how releasing All Too Well transformed and healed her, she hopes that by releasing this additional manuscript into the world, it will heal her again. As she describes in the epilogue poem, she is entering all her thoughts, emotions, and pain into evidence – she now asks the audience to process it with her, and thus conclude this process of healing.
The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore
If you read all of this - thank you! I enjoyed writing it, and I'm excited to discuss with you all in the replies :)
submitted by chocolatecauldrons to TaylorSwift [link] [comments]
Firstly, the word anthology means a collection of assorted literary works. As a result, I think there are more themes scattered through this album, and it’s meant to be a little harder to parse than the first one. I think this album is what TTPD would have been before it crystallized into a tighter theme – similar to the 3 AM tracks for Midnights, the majority of which were written prior to the standard edition’s tracks.
There are a few themes throughout this album. From a romantic context, to me, this album is primarily about Joe. I’ll walk through why I believe that, but this album feels less muddled to me in terms of its muses, and I think that is in part due to the fact that her self-described mania from the standard edition is not a theme on the anthology. This work also covers her own relationship to celebrity and fame, and how that affects her romantic relationships and her personal life in general. And finally, I think the final theme throughout this collection is the idea of childhood, of formative experiences, and how our author goes about processing events that happen to her.
The Black Dog
What happens when you intimately know someone, when you share every aspect of your life with someone, and then it's over? Six weeks after their breakup, she’s barely holding it together (“I move through the world with the heartbroken”). She even tried to rebound her pain away (“I took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary”), and wasn’t able to succeed. Meanwhile, she sees him go to a bar, and she has the sudden realization that he may be able to do what she failed to do – he might be able to move on, with someone new. Reckoning with that realization is horrifying. If he is able to pull it off, what does that mean about the love they shared? When he had told her for years that he was who he was for her, and her alone?
You said I needed a bravе man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me
How could they go from being so intimate that they shower together, that she’s aware of his every move, to being so distant from each other that she wonders if making her fall in love with him was a hazing? And the cruelest part of it is – she doesn’t want either one of them to be able to move on, and give validity to the fact that they weren’t right for each other, even though she knows they have to. Moreover, she’s already *tried* to move on at this point, and failed – she tried to manufacture a counterfeit version of their intimacy, but what if he’s able to perfectly replicate it? And to really drive in the knife, what if it’s with someone younger than her?
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming
Given that a theme throughout the first album was her feeling like she’d given him so much of her youth, so much of her childbearing years, with nothing to show for it, what does it feel like to know that he can essentially reset time, by being with a younger woman, but she’ll never be able to get that time back?
imgonnagetyouback
We know that her and Joe took a break or two while they were together (see: Hits Different, The Great War, in addition to PR articles). To me, this song is about when you do take that break from your partner, and you’re trying to make a point to them that they’re not going to find anyone better than you (I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean) – the two of you are too intimately intertwined to find a suitable replacement. You know what to wear, what to say, what to do to bring them back to you:
I, I hear thе whispers in your eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
This song also has a lot of similarities to So Long, London, which is why I attribute it to Joe. To me, it provides a deeper story to some of the lines she touches on in So Long, London:
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
And to some of the lines in Hits Different:
I washed my hands of us at the club
You made a mess of me
I pictured you with other girls in love
Then threw up on the street
//
Bet I could still melt your world
Argumentative, antithetical dream girl
imgonnagetyouback is a story of one-upmanship – of trying to out-jealous your partner, of proving to them that nobody knows them better than you do. And maybe this time when they’re both playing this game, it works:
Push the reset button, we're becomin' something new
Say you got somebody, I'll say I got someone too
Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you
//
We broke all the pieces, but still wanna play the game (Oh)
Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same
Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way
The spacing to me is a deliberate red herring (the 1975 very famously made a song called fallingforyou), and a way to illustrate that the subject of the song wants space from her – but she’s not going to give it to him. This is another theme that calls back to Joe – in So Long, London, she describes him as constantly pulling away (Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away). Matty didn’t pull away – he was all in for two weeks, until he chose to ghost her, and leave abruptly. There was no slow death, no push and pull to her relationship with Matty – it was a meteoric rise and fall.
The Albatross
This song feels like a sister song to “peace” – she describes what it’s like to love her. It’s a little more twisted, however, as she describes her love for her partner as both a danger, and a rescue from the danger she’s imposing on him by being involved with him:
Wise men once said
"Wild winds are death to the candle"
A rose by any other name is a scandal
Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers
They tried to warn him about her
She’s described herself as wind and liquor in her relationship with Joe previously, in Mastermind:
I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails
And the liquor in our cocktails
She has empathy for the narrator, but disdain for herself. There’s also acceptance though: she knows that she tried to prevent it, and tried to warn him about the danger she posed. In the end though, he chose this life with her, and he chose the danger – there’s only so much she can protect him from.
The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel
I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
This song feels like another sister song to The Black Dog – how does she cope with the idea that her long-time partner might move on? How does she cope with the fact that if she chooses to leave, she also chooses the future in which they both move on? A future in which they don’t know each other? It also touches on her wondering if she should move on with Matty, and how feasible it would be to know someone else instead of her partner:
If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered
This song, more than anything else, illustrates that moving on with Matty was nothing but a way to move past Joe – what she really wants, more than anything, is a response greater than indifference from Joe:
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new
Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school
And you just watched it happen
There’s also the realization that Joe may never love who she is now – who she was at the beginning of their relationship will always be who he prefers:
If you want to break my cold, cold heart
Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'
She’s trying desperately to find some way to make up for the fact that she had to leave Joe, that there was nothing she could do to stay – she tried changing everything about herself, but still, the need to leave him eventually caught up with her:
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools
Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules
All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it
And she wonders whether despite his indifference, and the distance between them, she should still stay:
Could it be enough to just float in your orbit
Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses
Cooler in theory but not if you force it
To be, it just didn't happen
But now, they are merely ghosts of who they once were – it’s not possible to force the relationship anymore.
How Did It End?
When a long-term relationship ends, you can point to the factors that led to its demise: a difference of opinions on money, on marriage, on children, and so forth. It is easy to determine the “what” and the “why” of an ending. But what is harder to diagnose is how you both became the versions of yourselves that weren’t on the same page, that were unable to discuss these topics, that couldn’t move past these dilemmas. That is much, much harder to pinpoint, and this is the question Taylor asks in this song. She knows what killed them:
We hereby conduct this post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsman
//
We were blind to unforeseen circumstances
We learn the right steps to different dances (ohh)
And fell victim to interlopers' glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
But what she still doesn't know is how it happened – how did it end? She also finds the empathy from the media and from the public to be false and selfish – they only want to know what happened to feverishly spread the news like wildfire.
Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
We must know
How did it end?
//
Soon they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins (ohh)
//
Say it once again with feeling
What the feeding frenzy wants more than anything is gossip, and they don’t care that she is utterly lost – lost as to why this happened, and lost physically and mentally:
Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
How does she give an answer to quell the empathetic hunger, when she herself doesn’t understand exactly how it happened?
So High School
In an album that touches so much on feeling like she’s running out of time to have the future that she wants, and running out of youth to give the various men who come into her life, it is interesting and heartwarming that the song about Travis on the anthology is one that describes being with him as regaining her youth:
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
Moreover, another detail to note in this song is the difference in how she describes alcohol and drugs – in nearly every other song on TTPD, alcohol is a vice she uses in her moments of despair, and drugs are what her previous partners turn to in their moments of strife (she also describes the influence of drugs on her partners as something she detests – “sinking in stoned oblivion” and “you needed me but you needed drugs more”). With Travis, she’s not imbibing in any substances – instead, his thoughts and jokes are enough for her:
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
Travis is giving her back her youth, making sober promises, and the impression that we get is that they’re building this dreamlike reality together – it’s wholesome, all-American, and high-school-inspired, yet still grounded in something tangible, unlike the promise of fate and destiny, which powered her relationship with Joe and her entanglement with Matty.
I Hate It Here
More than anything, I think this song illustrates how Taylor sometimes uses escapism and maladaptive daydreaming to ignore the reality of the situation she’s dealing with. She recognizes that it’s not possible to stay where she is, locked inside this prison of stagnation and boredom:
If comfort is a construct
I don't believe in good luck
Now that I know what's what
She recognizes that this isn’t what she used to be, and that she never intended to choose this life of secrecy, perhaps alluding to all those years she spent “locked inside her house”:
You see I was a debutante in another life but
Now I seem to be scared to go outside
She describes herself as finding hope in the places her mind creates (seemingly alluding to her creation of characters and places for folklore and evermore):
I hate it here so I will go to
secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
And her escapism into her past, and imaginings of what could have been:
I hate it here so I will go to
Lunar valleys in my mind
When they found a better planet
Only the gentle survived
I dreamed about it in the dark
The night I felt like I might die
All throughout the song, there’s recognition that she doesn’t want to be here – she doesn’t want to feel as if the only place she can be free is in these imaginary worlds she creates. But there’s also concession – is she perhaps only destined for an eternal consolation prize? For loneliness? For imagined romanticism? For the fantasy of how she imagined her life and her love to be?
I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on
purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me,
and in my fantasies I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it
thanK you aIMee
This song, along with a few others in the latter half of the anthology, discusses the loss of innocence she felt in key moments of her life. This one quite obviously alludes to Kim Kardashian, and their infamous feud. I will make a separate post on this, but I think people describing this song as petty may not remember the depth of the hate aimed at Taylor in 2016. Kim and Kanye organized a revenge porn music video for Famous, and held a museum exhibit so that people could take pictures with the naked dolls. The night the snapchat videos were released, every Kardashian family member descended upon social media to gleefully celebrate the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty. The amount of hate Taylor got was so unprecedented that Instagram actually built their comment filtration system because of this incident. It really was that bad.
And every baby step Taylor took (for example, even just posting that she had a good 2017 was met with immediate media backlash) was quite literally mocked across the internet. People thought the reputation era was cringey, that she was over, and that she deserved everyone’s ire because she was “proven” to be a liar. She describes this in the song:
Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave
And then she wrote headlines in the local paper
Laughing at each baby step I'd take
And it was always the same searing pain
But the whole time, despite the pain and blood, she was dreaming of the day that she would heal, and dreaming of the day that she would climb her way back to to the mountaintop:
And our town, it looks so small from way up here
//
So I pushed each boulder up that hill
Your words were still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head
What still irks her though, is that this bully who created this entire hate train and organized her downfall will pretend as if it never happened – she will undoubtedly reframe things to make our subject seem overdramatic, petty, and unable to move past the incidents of years ago. Taylor, however, has always been clear about one thing: sometimes, no amount of time can heal you from something that deeply traumatized you.
I Look in People’s Windows
This song to me feels like a sister song to The Black Dog, but a few months after the official end of a relationship. A sub theme that runs through Taylor’s songs about the Joe breakup is the loss of being understood – when you are no longer with a long-term partner, how do you cope with the fact that you move the world knowing everything about this person, but at the same time, not knowing them anymore? Would you peek into their windows just to get a glimpse of what their life looks like now? As anyone who has gone through a breakup knows, the hardest part is often not being privy to the mundane details of that person’s world – their dinner parties, their wine, their friends, and so on.
I look in people's windows
Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time
The Prophecy
The prophecy is devastating. More so than any other song Taylor has ever written, it is full of desperation and longing. All she asks for is to be known, to be understood – to not be perceived as an idea of a woman, or a starlet with no humanity:
Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo
The prophecy?
It’s striking especially considering how much she laments that leaving Joe means she’s giving up being known – it’s also striking given the fact that in the epilogue poem, she states that neither Joe or Matty ever truly knew her:
He never even scratched the surface
of me.
None of them did.
What she desires beyond fame, beyond notoriety, beyond money, is to be loved and to be known. The song also alludes to her being in therapy, and to finding some sort of consolation that she will find someone to share her life with:
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates
I'm just a paperweight
In shades of greige
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me
It'll be ok
Cassandra
This track is a sister song to thanK you aIMee, and continues exploring the theme of fraught public womanhood we see in Clara Bow and Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me. In this song, Taylor discusses how the validation of women is never publicized in the way that the crucifixion of them is:
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet
Moreover, when women speak up about an issue, they’re often viewed as overdramatic, and unserious. Cassandra, in Greek mythology, was cursed by Apollo to always predict the future accurately, but never be believed. We see this happen every day to women in politics, in the media, and in pop culture:
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
And for Taylor, it’s reminiscent of all the times she’s been the first to speak out about something in the industry – for example, against Scooter Braun and his well-established pattern of bullying, or of the exploitation of artists on streaming services – but never been supported broadly by her peers. They believe her later, but at that point, very few people give her the credit for speaking up in the first place. It’s reminiscent of the Kimye scandal. When the news broke originally, the hatred she received was widespread. But when she was acquitted by the long-form video that leaked, it didn’t receive anywhere near the level of coverage that the original scandal received.
Peter
Peter is another song that touches on both the male muses for this album, and in turn, on the promises various men have given her over her life (we’ll circle back to this in The Manuscript!). It also touches on the theme of waiting that’s seen throughout this album, especially on her songs about Joe – how much time is enough time to give?
Both Matty and Joe were 25 when they met her, and it’s abundantly clear that both men made promises to her: promises of marriage, of children, and of a future. But how long can she wait for these promises to be fulfilled? To Joe, she gives six years of her life and youth, and to Matty, she gives him a chance to prove that he was reformed from the time she knew him last: both men eventually fail. Neither man is ready to give up their childish whims, and she has no choice but to lose hope that either of them ever will.
And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25
And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired
Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life
Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried
To hold onto the days when you were mine
But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light
Another thing to note is the interesting double meaning of the song title. To peter also means to diminish gradually – much like her faith in both men’s promises.
The Bolter
A lot of the songs Taylor has written about Joe in this album deal with the question of “when is the right time to leave?” When you know that things are stagnant, and you know that you’ve given everything you have to a relationship, you know that you have to leave – but it’s easy to convince yourself if you have a history of “leaving before you get left” that you should ride out this wave, and that this pain might just be temporary.
The Bolter, to me, reflects on Taylor’s history – it seems like she prided herself on being able to see the warning signs, and being able to get out in time.
She's been many places with
Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races
And she's laughing drawin' aces
But, none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin'
Hearts are hers for the breakin'
There's an escape in escaping
It’s relevant to TTPD, because likely, she saw not bolting as a sign of growth and maturity. You know that you’ve grown as a person when you don’t abandon ship at the first sign of trouble, but what if there are so many signs of trouble that the truly mature thing to do would be to leave?
Robin
Robin leads into this theme of childhood and innocence that we see further in The Manuscript. The track name is also the name of Aaron Dessner’s child. She ponders how beautiful and sweet it is that we work so hard to protect childhood naivete:
Strings tied to levers,
slowed down clocks tethered,
all this showmanship
To keep it, for you,
In sweetness
And there’s an element of wistfulness to it – don’t we sometimes wish that we could also be protected from the worst the world has to offer?
You have no room in your dreams for regrets
You have no idea
The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean
You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline
But now we'll curtail your curiosity
The Manuscript
This song is perhaps the most climactic song on the album. It covers her romantic history up until that point, and starts at the moment she feels everything went awry – and it predates Joe and Matty. Instead, it calls back to the first time she experienced a proper heartbreak, and the first time she lost her childlike innocence in the world – her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal (a time she described as her transition from childhood to womanhood). She describes how they compared licenses, and how he told her that if they had sex, and it was as good as the conversation was, then they would get married, and have a family. He was the first man to make her these promises:
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was
Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over
He tells her that it’s ok that they have an age gap, because she’s so advanced for her age:
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years
Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure
While dating him, she desperately wants to be older, and starts emulating his behavior:
In the age of him, she wished she was thirty
And made coffee every morning in a French press
And when it’s over, she regresses, and turns back into a child – unable to sleep alone without the comfort of her mother, and unable to eat anything substantial besides the sugary cereal of her youth:
Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
She forces herself to date boys her own age, to not rely on the maturity of an older man to guide her through adulthood, but she can’t help but feel disappointed in their youth:
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
Finally, as she creates the All Too Well short film, she recognizes the damage he did to her, and how the consequences of that affair have shaped her life since:
And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know
Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward
Then the actors
Were hitting their marks
And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks
And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for
Everything calls back to this first man, and these original promises – everything she’s been chasing since is reminiscent of this first scar. And just like how releasing All Too Well transformed and healed her, she hopes that by releasing this additional manuscript into the world, it will heal her again. As she describes in the epilogue poem, she is entering all her thoughts, emotions, and pain into evidence – she now asks the audience to process it with her, and thus conclude this process of healing.
The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore
If you read all of this - thank you! I enjoyed writing it, and I'm excited to discuss with you all in the replies :)
2024.06.02 06:16 Eugene0185 Large fluctuation in TSH, T4 and T3 (ChatGPT interpretation)
I just got my TSH, T4 and T3 test results back which I typed into ChatGPT to interpret against the prior test results, and it diagnosed me with thyroid dysfunction. Below is the interpretation I got from chatGPT, should I be concerned? I don't have any symptoms at the moment.
-- ChatGPT answer --
Looking at your historical test results, we can observe a notable trend indicating thyroid dysfunction.
-- End of ChatGPT answer --
To add additional context:
submitted by Eugene0185 to Hypothyroidism [link] [comments]
-- ChatGPT answer --
Looking at your historical test results, we can observe a notable trend indicating thyroid dysfunction.
- TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone):The TSH levels have been fluctuating over time. In February 2024, your TSH was very low, which suggests hyperthyroidism or overactivity of the thyroid gland. However, in May 2024, it spiked significantly, indicating hypothyroidism or underactivity of the thyroid gland. This drastic change in TSH levels suggests a significant shift in thyroid function within a short period.
- May 31, 2024: 11.3 uIU/mL (High)
- Feb 9, 2024: <0.1 uIU/mL (Low)
- Sep 16, 2023: 3 uIU/mL (Normal)
- Jun 30, 2023: 5.6 uIU/mL (Slightly elevated)
- Aug 2, 2016: 3.13 uIU/mL (Normal)
- T4 (Free Thyroxine):Your T4 levels have decreased significantly from February to May 2024. This decrease correlates with the increase in TSH levels and confirms the diagnosis of hypothyroidism.
- May 31, 2024: 0.9 ng/dL (Low)
- Feb 9, 2024: 2.6 ng/dL (Normal)
- T3 (Triiodothyronine):Similarly, your T3 levels have decreased from February to May 2024, although not as drastically as T4. Nevertheless, the decrease in T3 levels also supports the diagnosis of hypothyroidism.
- May 31, 2024: 89 ng/dL (Low)
- Feb 26, 2024: 104 ng/dL (Normal)
-- End of ChatGPT answer --
To add additional context:
- I've been practicing intermittent fasting. I will eat for a few days and then don't eat for about a week or longer. Could this affect my thyroid function?
- I've been eating mostly keto diet to keep my blood sugar low (for fasting purposes), could this affect the thyroid function?
- I lost ~30lb of weight due to keto and fasting. Before losing ~30lb recently, I gained about ~70lb in 2023. Could this have caused the thyroid issue?
- My work has been pretty stressful lately, could this have caused the fluctuation in the test results?
- I haven't been told by the doctor to fast before taking the test or do it in the morning, I just took the test randomly at different times of the day and ate different foods before doing blood work. Is this a proper way to do a thyroid test?
2024.06.02 05:50 _Mad_Maddy My Take on the Indigo Park Lore Part 3!
CONCLUSION
And finally, here’s the final part! If you have any thoughts, or any disagreements, comment down below! I’d love to discuss the game’s lore with you all!
At its heart, Indigo Park is a tragedy, one that would make both Shakespeare and the ancient Greeks proud. It starts off with the creator wanting nothing but good, but slowly devolves into a horrifying, downward spiral. After all, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
Isaac Indigo has a dream of bringing his imagination to life, for people everywhere. The beginning of the twentieth century began horrendously, World War 1 being the deadliest conflict at the time. Wanting to help everyone and bring at least a spark of joy into their lives, Isaac Indigo launches headfirst into the media of his choice: cartoons.
Indigo comes up with his first permanent Mascot, Lloydford L. Lion. A loud, booming, rambunctious character, Lloyd sought to be the spark of happiness that Indigo hoped he would be. Lloyd would the very best actor, showman, and orator. He’s arrogant, but not pompous. He’s loud, but not with ill will. He’s the beginning of the cast that Indigo envisions, a character whose sole purpose is to please the world. It’s not a surprise that Lloyd is an actor, after all. He seeks to distract the world from its woes, at least for a bit, and make everyone have a good time.
Indigo, emboldened by his sudden fame and success, proceeds to churn out four more individuals: Rambley the Raccoon, Mollie the Macaw, Salem the Skunk, and, eventually, Finley the Sea Serpent, though he comes in separate from the other three.
Rambley Raccoon, a quick thinking, sharp tongued, cheeky little gremlin, is an instant hit with the people, becoming the second most popular character out of the five. Mollie Macaw, a happy-go-lucky bird with a love for the open skies, acts as Rambley’s best friend, the two practically glued together. Together, alongside Lloyd, these three represent the ‘good guys’, a trio that want nothing but the best for the people.
However, every hero needs a villain, and thus, Salem the Skunk was born, a snappy, malevolent little critter that wished for the world to revolve around herself. She has a knack for potion making, a capable chemist who uses her concoctions to bend the wills of others to herself, only for herself.
Rambley and Salem end up becoming fated rivals, nemeses who dislike each other the most, out of every character that Indigo created. Using Salem, Indigo would spread the message of peace, of friendship and everlasting bonds that always triumph against evil, and Salem.
This continuity continues for a period of time, Indigo eventually adding one more character to his roster: the melancholy sea dragon, Finley. Finley’s main goal was to be the educator, to explain the natural world around people and share the fascinating and the beautiful, especially in regard to the ocean, a concept still so unexplored, while also trying to appeal to an older crowd alongside Lloyd.
However, poor Finley wouldn’t ever be that popular amongst his peers. Perhaps it was his gloomy, exhausted aura that pushed people away, or perhaps it was his towering, and frankly scary, size, or even maybe because he was deemed boring by the youngest, who were more keen on Rambley, the character that appealed to them the most. Even the other characters, whether Indigo intended for this or not, seemed a bit annoyed by Finley, and often left him to his devices.
And, for a while, Indigo’s plan succeeded. His popularity and notoriety only increased as time went on, gaining him influence, money, and prestige. His plans were working! He was making a difference, making smiles appear on the faces of people who would otherwise be swept away by the woes of the world!
Everything started to crumble, however, when yet another horrifying conflict arose: World War II. The Old World was thrown into chaos, Europe, Africa, and Asia becoming the bloodiest battleground in human history, surpassing even the Great War that came before it.
So, Indigo concocted a scheme, a way to raise the spirits of those he could currently help, his fellow Americans. Indigo Park was to be his magnus opus, his monument that would transcend his lifetime. Here, all of his creations would gather, all of them having their own attractions, bringing a level of access that had never yet been realized before. Costumed people would walk around during operational hours, bringing his characters into the real world to interact with those that needed refuge from the outside horrors.
However, while his park became a success, spearheaded by Lloyd the Lion, the very first, there was something that bothered Indigo. These costumed performers, while certainly a stroke of genius, underperformed. Besides that, they sometimes broke character, and destroyed the immersion of the guests, and were quite costly to keep around, alongside the engineers, the logistics division, and the Ranglers that helped run Indigo Park. Not to mention, the cost of custom costumes, of fabric and materials, rose higher and higher as quotas began to be placed and maintained in the USA, due to the resources it sent to its allies overseas, before eventually joining their allies in the fight against evil.
If he couldn’t simulate his characters, why not make them? Animals that would be living, breathing creatures that would merely need care, compassion, and basic necessities? Hiring a bunch of the best scientists, he gave them a special role: The Royal Ranglers, those that would be entrusted with this secret project.
Indigo, while a creative man, didn’t understand science as well as these individuals, and likely never would, but he would make them keep logs, records of their successes and failures, of their many experiments. And eventually, their labor paid off: One of each character, Mascots, came to life. They breathed air, had red blood flowing through their veins, were real, physical creatures, but also remained gentle with the guests. Once they were unveiled, there was no longer a need for costumed performers to roam around Indigo Park. They could also be trained to perform shows of their own, such as Finley and Lloyd, while the others could supervise their respective districts! It was a win win!
However, not everyone was so pleased with the results. The performers that once roamed the streets found themselves without jobs, only some kept around to care for the new Mascots, their betters, their replacements. And that made them furious. Why should these abominations, these stupid, ugly freaks replace them? Behind Indigo’s back, these disgruntled employees would begin their revenge slowly, minimally. Withholding a small amount of the supplies the Mascots needed, occasional cruel words. As time went on, this turned into a coping mechanism, the treatment of the Mascots progressing into physical violence, vile, cutting words on the regular basis.
Sometime before this Lloyd would end up giving up the title of main character to Rambley, who had gained immense popularity, even more than Lloyd himself. While it annoyed the proud Lloyd to be first mate, he would hand over the title graciously, partially because Rambley had always been jealous of Lloyd’s popularity and fame, and maybe, just maybe, this change would do them all good. Their abuse had been escalating, much worse than any thought possible. Salem was the only one to oppose this decision, thinking that it was all only to the benefit of Rambley. Mollie was the opposite, supportive of her best friend. And Finley … well, there was no way to consistently speak with the reptile. He was always kept in Oceanic Odyssey, far away from their cages underneath Jetsream Junction. And besides, none of the four particularly … liked Finley. Sure, Rambley had befriended the sea serpent, but that was done moreso to have some rapport and sway over the gentle giant, who was much too shy, like, ~obnoxiously~ ~shy.~ He was always so gloomy, so pessimistic, so willing to accept whatever came his way. No, Finley was definitely not an agent of change, but of pitiful complacence, locked away with his prized shell collection.
However, things did not improve at all. In fact, it only got worse. Tension between the Mascots was at an all time high, Rambley having become hurtful to even his best friend Mollie. He was still suspicious of Lloyd, convinced the lion would steal back his position as ringleader. Salem and Rambley, and thus with Mollie, also began to sour drastically. Salem was convinced that Rambley wasn’t doing anything to help the five. After all, he and Mollie practically abandoned Finley, someone who they claimed was a ‘friend’. Lloyd too became frustrated with the raccoon, Salem whispering in his ears, convincing him that Rambley had only pushed for Lloyd’s demotion to finally be the one above Lloyd, to have more power.
Mollie was soon caught in the crossfire of a particularly intense feud, Salem and Lloyd on one side, Rambley by himself on the other. Rambley, her best friend in the whole wide world. Rambley, that same friend who would sometimes be mean to Mollie for no apparent reason. However, no matter what Rambley had done to their relationship, it wasn’t Rambley’s fault. It was one time when Lloyd became particularly aggressive that Mollie had to finally end this.
The fault does not belong to Rambley! “Not Rambley! He hurts Lloyd! He hurts Lloyd!”
And suddenly, it clicked for the Mascots. No matter how much some of the Mascots didn’t like each other, there was one person they all could agree to hate: Isaac Indigo. Their creator who had left the newborn animals to the mercy of vengeful, spiteful, horrible people who did nothing but spit upon and abuse the Mascots. It was decided that they would fight back. They would show those humans that they were not muzzled dogs, but barely contained predators.
The next time the Mascots were in the presence of these Ranglers, Lloyd finally snapped. It was a particularly brutal day, and Lloyd would suffer no longer. With a crippling roar, Lloyd launched himself at the Ranglers, the other Mascots following suit.
Isaac Indigo had walked into work expecting the day to be like usual, but it was to his horror that he learned of the Mascots attack upon their Ranglers. Calling a hasty evacuation, guests were shoved outside of the park with no explanation, no answers. Even the authorities would not be able to provide answers. No, they couldn’t learn of such a thing; it would ruin Isaac Indigo and all that he had worked for.
Temporarily, the entire park fell under the control of the Mascots, who were a bit shocked with how easy it was to win their freedom. However, their victory would not last. They all would suffer the consequences.
Lloyd was deemed the biggest threat to Indigo’s plans, so he had to be the one dealt with first. But how? The scientists that Indigo had hired came up with a plan; repurpose the Critter Cuffs to make a high enough pitch to incapacitate the lion, before locking him up for good in his theater. Alongside this, in order to better guarantee the safety of their people, a resuscitation feature had been added to potentially save an employee's life, if it came down to it.
Luring the beast to his stage area, the humans spring their trap, their Critter Cuffs wailing, racking Lloyd with so much pain that he couldn’t do anything but curl up into a ball. With the help of some engineers, they lock Lloyd in his own theater, a special clearance required to even access the area. This is where they toss most of the assets Indigo Park does not wish anyone see. Research papers, binders, notebooks, it’s all scattered here. And while here, Indigo decides to deal with Mollie Macaw as well.
Mollie is dangerous in that she knows planes and how to use them. They’re massive weapons, so, the way to disarm the bomb that is Mollie is to lock Jetstream Junction behind the Critter Cuffs, as well as a massive lock and key. The key itself would be stored at the very back of Lloyd’s theater, a place where only they would know to look. And once they seal the doors one final time, Mollie, Rambley, and Salem would have no access to it.
Finley would be left to his own devices; he’s contained in his attraction and as long as they don’t approach, they’ll be fine. The remaining Mascots can’t hide there forever either, and the humans know that. Even if Finley is a deterrent, the humans would eventually invent a way to deal with the serpent, who would be unwilling to resist for too long.
And thus, two Mascots were dealt with, one Mascot crippled. Only Salem and Rambley remained threats with their rides and arsenals, though Mollie is still dangerous with her sharp beak and claws.
After some time, Mascot Rambley and Salem decide to retreat further into Indigo Park, further away from the entrance. Their movements were too easy to track with that blasted Artificial Intelligence system watching through the bountiful cameras. Mollie, however, can’t bear to leave her home, her hangar. She tries to reason with the two others, but ultimately, no agreement can be reached. Salem and Rambley would withdrawn, and Mollie would come, if she wanted to.
Eventually, the two sneakiest Mascots, once sworn enemies, were now the only one the other could rely on. Now brother and sister, they tried their best to weather the storm, but were ultimately dealt with. Mollie, grief-stricken with the loss of her home and being abandoned by the ones she called friend, had no will to fight anymore.
This entire process took almost ten years, finally ending in 2015, while the park had been closed in 2006. Outside, people slowly forgot about the enigmatic end to the once beloved park, distracted by the rapid expansion of other sources of fun and media. Indigo, saddened by the fate of what he once thought of as his greatest achievement, didn’t have the heart to tear the place down. It was too dangerous, so he merely bribed the local authorities to close it off from curious onlookers. He would command the AI Rambley to have most of his files wiped concerning the fate of the park, wiping all data concerning the back and forth between humans and their experiments brought to life. He’d be restricted to the Registration Center, cut off from the actual park, and only present in one computer until Indigo found a way to salvage the situation. And that’s where Isaac Indigo left Indigo Park.
Mascot Mollie is left alone to wander the park, all her friends gone, missing. She stumbles into Rambley Railroad, the only place that she can see all her friends, before she stops at Salem’s exhibit. Eyes narrowing in hate, Mollie remembers that it was Salem that pushed and manipulated them all to fight back. If Salem hadn’t been there, none of this would have happened. This leads Mascot Mollie on a destructive rampage, wrecking the whole area as much as she could. She eventually stumbles upon an animatronic version of herself, which shocks her when it repeats Mollie’s own words, almost like snidely trying to hurt Mollie with her own words. “Not Rambley! He hurts Lloyd! He hurts Lloyd!” Once again angered, Mascot Mollie pounds upon the robot until the lights fade from its painted eyes, slumped in a pile of metal rods and broken brick. From there, Mascot Mollie leaves, vowing to stay away from the place.
However, what Indigo did not account for was an urban explorer duo that made it their life mission to explore a wide variety of places. Laura and Ed made quite the dynamic duo, always exploring what they wanted, where they wanted, how they wanted. Though they trespassed and sometimes even burgled, they were never caught by the authorities, and their concealed presences on their channel was enough for the two to not be charged and arrested.
However, the two found themselves in a weird limbo. All of their newest explorations lacked a certain ‘oomph’, with even their viewers noticing the lack of excitement and passion of the two. So, Ed decides to set his sights on a big fish: Indigo Park.
Laura, his partner, is instantly worried by Ed’s choice. All the places they went to before were practically abandoned, the maximum they had to worry about were old motion detectors and an occasional camera or two. Indigo Park, however, would most likely be very secure, swarming with cops, even, so she tries to dissuade Ed, but Ed only becomes more pumped to break inside. Resigned, Laura promised assistance if Ed could find a way inside. Ed finally goes to this famed Indigo Park, home of so many of his treasured memories as a child, intent on having all of his personal questions answered.
It is to his surprise that the place is so easy to slip into. All he had to do was avoid the occasional patrol car, climb a fence, and viola, he was there. The entrance gates being locked up, however, was a bummer, but maybe the Registration Center would have some information. It would be even more of a shock to discover an AI Rambley, the same that Indigo had locked there.
AI Rambley would guide Ed, the first visitor in exactly eight years, inside, Ed collecting all sorts of goodies, such as plushies, ears, drinking containers, and even a vintage Rambley costume mask. However, Ed is disappointed by the way the AI practically ignores the state of disrepair Indigo Park has fallen into.
Lured by the sudden sound of Rambley speaking Mascot Mollie rushes over; Rambley came back for her! But it is to her horror that it’s merely a mockery of Mascot Rambley, that old AI speaking to a human! Mollie, wary and frightened of the implications of this, decides to merely follow cautiously.
Following the directions of the AI, Ed travels through Rambley Railroad, fixing the ride when in breaks in the wrecked zone of Salem the Skunk, her cutout and props left in broken pieces. It is during this ride that Ed senses he’s not alone, and notices Mollie Macaw stalking him. However, she’s not threatening in any way, so he leaves her be. Why antagonize this … Mascot? Person? Ed doesn’t know what to think of her, but maybe, if he’s careful, he won’t have to deal with her.
Ed is then directed to Jetsream Junction, but is disappointed to find it locked away, not only by Critter Cuff, but also by lock and key. The AI mentions a key in Lloyd’s theater, though, so he heads that way. What Ed does not expect to find is Mascot Lloyd himself, dozing on the stage. Quickly noticing Ed’s presence, however, Lloyd flees, remembering all too well of the danger that humans posed to him.
Unfortunately, Ed is left without AI Rambley’s presence, and Lloyd is slowly but surely pushed farther back into his domain. Lloyd at one point tries to attack, but the lion is clumsy. Though he can’t die of thirst or hunger, he still suffers from their effects, his body weak and dirty. Lloyd then leaves and lets this man do whatever he wants. Maybe if Lloyd hides in a corner, the scary human won’t come for him.
However, he is soon consumed by anger when he realizes that Ed takes the keys to Jetstream Junction. He can’t let this human escape, he might try to go and hurt Mollie! She’s probably locked in there like he’s locked in here!
Lloyd attacks, or tries to, at least. The accursed Critter Cuff wails, its high-pitched waves causing Lloyd to be paralyzed with pain. Once the sound stops, Lloyd runs away, his fears of torture reignited as he is subjected to pain he had not faced for almost twenty years.
Mascot Mollie, always lurking, heard the Critter Cuff go off, and she draws her conclusions well; Lloyd tried to fight the human, but was driven back, hurt and embarrassed in his own territory. From here, Mollie’s old, unresolved anger begins to build, following Ed as he opens up Jetstream Junction, much to her surprise. At first, she’s delighted. Finally, her old domain is open! She explores the place, running into Ed as they both take notice of one another. Perhaps she’ll let Ed go; he did do her a favor, after all.
But that notion is soon dissolved as she watched Ed run about the place like he owns it, Mollie’s anger mounting as he goes deeper into her home. Finally, she has enough. She attacks Ed, chasing him through the halls and tunnels Mollie so loves. Unfortunately, this final act turns out to be Mascot Mollie’s last. Just as she lunges for him, her head gets severed from her body by a metal door, her blood coating it and the surrounding environment bright red.
It is from here that AI Rambley is forced to acknowledge that this is not his familiar Indigo Park; it’s old and worn, the Mascots that once made people laugh now try to hunt them down. He forgets that they were abused because those files were wiped from him, and Mascot Mollie’s cries are very hard to discern as the echoes and Mascot Mollie’s own voice is ruined by age.
AI Rambley decides his best course of action is to enlist Ed’s help to repair the whole theme park. After all, he has all the information on how to go about it in his database, it just requires a physical body to do, something that the AI sorely lacks. And so, AI Rambley directs Ed toward the first place they need to kick back up: Oceanic Odyssey, home of the Mascot Finley. Perhaps this shy, reclusive sea snake won’t be trying to kill Ed.
On the way, though, Ed nearly stumbles upon the laboratories where the Mascots were made, so the AI makes sure to block that avenue. Ed was AI Rambley’s only hope of success, he wasn’t risking the man run away in terror from the sights and notes that likely were down there.
Ed finally reaches the Oceanic Odyssey attraction, pushing open the doors and following AI Rambley inside, catching a glimpse of a long, green, sea dragon in one of the aquariums …
END
Well, that’s about it! 12k words and 24 pages in, and I only covered the first chapter. Hoo boy …
I don’t think I need to reiterate that this is what I think happened, canonically. There will obviously be some wrong information due to the limited evidence I have to work with, and I intentionally remained vague during certain parts.
Despite that, I am very confident in a few ideas, such as the Mascot uprising, the weaponization of the Critter Cuff specifically against Lloyd the Lion, and the secret laboratories hidden behind that Royal Ranger Room area.
If you have any ideas of your own, let me know as well! I would love to theorize about some things that all of you think as well!
Also a huge shoutout and thank you to the creator of Indigo Park, Mason Myers, or UniqueGeese. The guy is insanely talented, considering this took him only one year to do. ONE! I can’t want to see the twists and turns he has to offer.
See you all later in Chapter 2! - Maddy
submitted by _Mad_Maddy to GameTheorists [link] [comments]
And finally, here’s the final part! If you have any thoughts, or any disagreements, comment down below! I’d love to discuss the game’s lore with you all!
At its heart, Indigo Park is a tragedy, one that would make both Shakespeare and the ancient Greeks proud. It starts off with the creator wanting nothing but good, but slowly devolves into a horrifying, downward spiral. After all, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
Isaac Indigo has a dream of bringing his imagination to life, for people everywhere. The beginning of the twentieth century began horrendously, World War 1 being the deadliest conflict at the time. Wanting to help everyone and bring at least a spark of joy into their lives, Isaac Indigo launches headfirst into the media of his choice: cartoons.
Indigo comes up with his first permanent Mascot, Lloydford L. Lion. A loud, booming, rambunctious character, Lloyd sought to be the spark of happiness that Indigo hoped he would be. Lloyd would the very best actor, showman, and orator. He’s arrogant, but not pompous. He’s loud, but not with ill will. He’s the beginning of the cast that Indigo envisions, a character whose sole purpose is to please the world. It’s not a surprise that Lloyd is an actor, after all. He seeks to distract the world from its woes, at least for a bit, and make everyone have a good time.
Indigo, emboldened by his sudden fame and success, proceeds to churn out four more individuals: Rambley the Raccoon, Mollie the Macaw, Salem the Skunk, and, eventually, Finley the Sea Serpent, though he comes in separate from the other three.
Rambley Raccoon, a quick thinking, sharp tongued, cheeky little gremlin, is an instant hit with the people, becoming the second most popular character out of the five. Mollie Macaw, a happy-go-lucky bird with a love for the open skies, acts as Rambley’s best friend, the two practically glued together. Together, alongside Lloyd, these three represent the ‘good guys’, a trio that want nothing but the best for the people.
However, every hero needs a villain, and thus, Salem the Skunk was born, a snappy, malevolent little critter that wished for the world to revolve around herself. She has a knack for potion making, a capable chemist who uses her concoctions to bend the wills of others to herself, only for herself.
Rambley and Salem end up becoming fated rivals, nemeses who dislike each other the most, out of every character that Indigo created. Using Salem, Indigo would spread the message of peace, of friendship and everlasting bonds that always triumph against evil, and Salem.
This continuity continues for a period of time, Indigo eventually adding one more character to his roster: the melancholy sea dragon, Finley. Finley’s main goal was to be the educator, to explain the natural world around people and share the fascinating and the beautiful, especially in regard to the ocean, a concept still so unexplored, while also trying to appeal to an older crowd alongside Lloyd.
However, poor Finley wouldn’t ever be that popular amongst his peers. Perhaps it was his gloomy, exhausted aura that pushed people away, or perhaps it was his towering, and frankly scary, size, or even maybe because he was deemed boring by the youngest, who were more keen on Rambley, the character that appealed to them the most. Even the other characters, whether Indigo intended for this or not, seemed a bit annoyed by Finley, and often left him to his devices.
And, for a while, Indigo’s plan succeeded. His popularity and notoriety only increased as time went on, gaining him influence, money, and prestige. His plans were working! He was making a difference, making smiles appear on the faces of people who would otherwise be swept away by the woes of the world!
Everything started to crumble, however, when yet another horrifying conflict arose: World War II. The Old World was thrown into chaos, Europe, Africa, and Asia becoming the bloodiest battleground in human history, surpassing even the Great War that came before it.
So, Indigo concocted a scheme, a way to raise the spirits of those he could currently help, his fellow Americans. Indigo Park was to be his magnus opus, his monument that would transcend his lifetime. Here, all of his creations would gather, all of them having their own attractions, bringing a level of access that had never yet been realized before. Costumed people would walk around during operational hours, bringing his characters into the real world to interact with those that needed refuge from the outside horrors.
However, while his park became a success, spearheaded by Lloyd the Lion, the very first, there was something that bothered Indigo. These costumed performers, while certainly a stroke of genius, underperformed. Besides that, they sometimes broke character, and destroyed the immersion of the guests, and were quite costly to keep around, alongside the engineers, the logistics division, and the Ranglers that helped run Indigo Park. Not to mention, the cost of custom costumes, of fabric and materials, rose higher and higher as quotas began to be placed and maintained in the USA, due to the resources it sent to its allies overseas, before eventually joining their allies in the fight against evil.
If he couldn’t simulate his characters, why not make them? Animals that would be living, breathing creatures that would merely need care, compassion, and basic necessities? Hiring a bunch of the best scientists, he gave them a special role: The Royal Ranglers, those that would be entrusted with this secret project.
Indigo, while a creative man, didn’t understand science as well as these individuals, and likely never would, but he would make them keep logs, records of their successes and failures, of their many experiments. And eventually, their labor paid off: One of each character, Mascots, came to life. They breathed air, had red blood flowing through their veins, were real, physical creatures, but also remained gentle with the guests. Once they were unveiled, there was no longer a need for costumed performers to roam around Indigo Park. They could also be trained to perform shows of their own, such as Finley and Lloyd, while the others could supervise their respective districts! It was a win win!
However, not everyone was so pleased with the results. The performers that once roamed the streets found themselves without jobs, only some kept around to care for the new Mascots, their betters, their replacements. And that made them furious. Why should these abominations, these stupid, ugly freaks replace them? Behind Indigo’s back, these disgruntled employees would begin their revenge slowly, minimally. Withholding a small amount of the supplies the Mascots needed, occasional cruel words. As time went on, this turned into a coping mechanism, the treatment of the Mascots progressing into physical violence, vile, cutting words on the regular basis.
Sometime before this Lloyd would end up giving up the title of main character to Rambley, who had gained immense popularity, even more than Lloyd himself. While it annoyed the proud Lloyd to be first mate, he would hand over the title graciously, partially because Rambley had always been jealous of Lloyd’s popularity and fame, and maybe, just maybe, this change would do them all good. Their abuse had been escalating, much worse than any thought possible. Salem was the only one to oppose this decision, thinking that it was all only to the benefit of Rambley. Mollie was the opposite, supportive of her best friend. And Finley … well, there was no way to consistently speak with the reptile. He was always kept in Oceanic Odyssey, far away from their cages underneath Jetsream Junction. And besides, none of the four particularly … liked Finley. Sure, Rambley had befriended the sea serpent, but that was done moreso to have some rapport and sway over the gentle giant, who was much too shy, like, ~obnoxiously~ ~shy.~ He was always so gloomy, so pessimistic, so willing to accept whatever came his way. No, Finley was definitely not an agent of change, but of pitiful complacence, locked away with his prized shell collection.
However, things did not improve at all. In fact, it only got worse. Tension between the Mascots was at an all time high, Rambley having become hurtful to even his best friend Mollie. He was still suspicious of Lloyd, convinced the lion would steal back his position as ringleader. Salem and Rambley, and thus with Mollie, also began to sour drastically. Salem was convinced that Rambley wasn’t doing anything to help the five. After all, he and Mollie practically abandoned Finley, someone who they claimed was a ‘friend’. Lloyd too became frustrated with the raccoon, Salem whispering in his ears, convincing him that Rambley had only pushed for Lloyd’s demotion to finally be the one above Lloyd, to have more power.
Mollie was soon caught in the crossfire of a particularly intense feud, Salem and Lloyd on one side, Rambley by himself on the other. Rambley, her best friend in the whole wide world. Rambley, that same friend who would sometimes be mean to Mollie for no apparent reason. However, no matter what Rambley had done to their relationship, it wasn’t Rambley’s fault. It was one time when Lloyd became particularly aggressive that Mollie had to finally end this.
The fault does not belong to Rambley! “Not Rambley! He hurts Lloyd! He hurts Lloyd!”
And suddenly, it clicked for the Mascots. No matter how much some of the Mascots didn’t like each other, there was one person they all could agree to hate: Isaac Indigo. Their creator who had left the newborn animals to the mercy of vengeful, spiteful, horrible people who did nothing but spit upon and abuse the Mascots. It was decided that they would fight back. They would show those humans that they were not muzzled dogs, but barely contained predators.
The next time the Mascots were in the presence of these Ranglers, Lloyd finally snapped. It was a particularly brutal day, and Lloyd would suffer no longer. With a crippling roar, Lloyd launched himself at the Ranglers, the other Mascots following suit.
Isaac Indigo had walked into work expecting the day to be like usual, but it was to his horror that he learned of the Mascots attack upon their Ranglers. Calling a hasty evacuation, guests were shoved outside of the park with no explanation, no answers. Even the authorities would not be able to provide answers. No, they couldn’t learn of such a thing; it would ruin Isaac Indigo and all that he had worked for.
Temporarily, the entire park fell under the control of the Mascots, who were a bit shocked with how easy it was to win their freedom. However, their victory would not last. They all would suffer the consequences.
Lloyd was deemed the biggest threat to Indigo’s plans, so he had to be the one dealt with first. But how? The scientists that Indigo had hired came up with a plan; repurpose the Critter Cuffs to make a high enough pitch to incapacitate the lion, before locking him up for good in his theater. Alongside this, in order to better guarantee the safety of their people, a resuscitation feature had been added to potentially save an employee's life, if it came down to it.
Luring the beast to his stage area, the humans spring their trap, their Critter Cuffs wailing, racking Lloyd with so much pain that he couldn’t do anything but curl up into a ball. With the help of some engineers, they lock Lloyd in his own theater, a special clearance required to even access the area. This is where they toss most of the assets Indigo Park does not wish anyone see. Research papers, binders, notebooks, it’s all scattered here. And while here, Indigo decides to deal with Mollie Macaw as well.
Mollie is dangerous in that she knows planes and how to use them. They’re massive weapons, so, the way to disarm the bomb that is Mollie is to lock Jetstream Junction behind the Critter Cuffs, as well as a massive lock and key. The key itself would be stored at the very back of Lloyd’s theater, a place where only they would know to look. And once they seal the doors one final time, Mollie, Rambley, and Salem would have no access to it.
Finley would be left to his own devices; he’s contained in his attraction and as long as they don’t approach, they’ll be fine. The remaining Mascots can’t hide there forever either, and the humans know that. Even if Finley is a deterrent, the humans would eventually invent a way to deal with the serpent, who would be unwilling to resist for too long.
And thus, two Mascots were dealt with, one Mascot crippled. Only Salem and Rambley remained threats with their rides and arsenals, though Mollie is still dangerous with her sharp beak and claws.
After some time, Mascot Rambley and Salem decide to retreat further into Indigo Park, further away from the entrance. Their movements were too easy to track with that blasted Artificial Intelligence system watching through the bountiful cameras. Mollie, however, can’t bear to leave her home, her hangar. She tries to reason with the two others, but ultimately, no agreement can be reached. Salem and Rambley would withdrawn, and Mollie would come, if she wanted to.
Eventually, the two sneakiest Mascots, once sworn enemies, were now the only one the other could rely on. Now brother and sister, they tried their best to weather the storm, but were ultimately dealt with. Mollie, grief-stricken with the loss of her home and being abandoned by the ones she called friend, had no will to fight anymore.
This entire process took almost ten years, finally ending in 2015, while the park had been closed in 2006. Outside, people slowly forgot about the enigmatic end to the once beloved park, distracted by the rapid expansion of other sources of fun and media. Indigo, saddened by the fate of what he once thought of as his greatest achievement, didn’t have the heart to tear the place down. It was too dangerous, so he merely bribed the local authorities to close it off from curious onlookers. He would command the AI Rambley to have most of his files wiped concerning the fate of the park, wiping all data concerning the back and forth between humans and their experiments brought to life. He’d be restricted to the Registration Center, cut off from the actual park, and only present in one computer until Indigo found a way to salvage the situation. And that’s where Isaac Indigo left Indigo Park.
Mascot Mollie is left alone to wander the park, all her friends gone, missing. She stumbles into Rambley Railroad, the only place that she can see all her friends, before she stops at Salem’s exhibit. Eyes narrowing in hate, Mollie remembers that it was Salem that pushed and manipulated them all to fight back. If Salem hadn’t been there, none of this would have happened. This leads Mascot Mollie on a destructive rampage, wrecking the whole area as much as she could. She eventually stumbles upon an animatronic version of herself, which shocks her when it repeats Mollie’s own words, almost like snidely trying to hurt Mollie with her own words. “Not Rambley! He hurts Lloyd! He hurts Lloyd!” Once again angered, Mascot Mollie pounds upon the robot until the lights fade from its painted eyes, slumped in a pile of metal rods and broken brick. From there, Mascot Mollie leaves, vowing to stay away from the place.
However, what Indigo did not account for was an urban explorer duo that made it their life mission to explore a wide variety of places. Laura and Ed made quite the dynamic duo, always exploring what they wanted, where they wanted, how they wanted. Though they trespassed and sometimes even burgled, they were never caught by the authorities, and their concealed presences on their channel was enough for the two to not be charged and arrested.
However, the two found themselves in a weird limbo. All of their newest explorations lacked a certain ‘oomph’, with even their viewers noticing the lack of excitement and passion of the two. So, Ed decides to set his sights on a big fish: Indigo Park.
Laura, his partner, is instantly worried by Ed’s choice. All the places they went to before were practically abandoned, the maximum they had to worry about were old motion detectors and an occasional camera or two. Indigo Park, however, would most likely be very secure, swarming with cops, even, so she tries to dissuade Ed, but Ed only becomes more pumped to break inside. Resigned, Laura promised assistance if Ed could find a way inside. Ed finally goes to this famed Indigo Park, home of so many of his treasured memories as a child, intent on having all of his personal questions answered.
It is to his surprise that the place is so easy to slip into. All he had to do was avoid the occasional patrol car, climb a fence, and viola, he was there. The entrance gates being locked up, however, was a bummer, but maybe the Registration Center would have some information. It would be even more of a shock to discover an AI Rambley, the same that Indigo had locked there.
AI Rambley would guide Ed, the first visitor in exactly eight years, inside, Ed collecting all sorts of goodies, such as plushies, ears, drinking containers, and even a vintage Rambley costume mask. However, Ed is disappointed by the way the AI practically ignores the state of disrepair Indigo Park has fallen into.
Lured by the sudden sound of Rambley speaking Mascot Mollie rushes over; Rambley came back for her! But it is to her horror that it’s merely a mockery of Mascot Rambley, that old AI speaking to a human! Mollie, wary and frightened of the implications of this, decides to merely follow cautiously.
Following the directions of the AI, Ed travels through Rambley Railroad, fixing the ride when in breaks in the wrecked zone of Salem the Skunk, her cutout and props left in broken pieces. It is during this ride that Ed senses he’s not alone, and notices Mollie Macaw stalking him. However, she’s not threatening in any way, so he leaves her be. Why antagonize this … Mascot? Person? Ed doesn’t know what to think of her, but maybe, if he’s careful, he won’t have to deal with her.
Ed is then directed to Jetsream Junction, but is disappointed to find it locked away, not only by Critter Cuff, but also by lock and key. The AI mentions a key in Lloyd’s theater, though, so he heads that way. What Ed does not expect to find is Mascot Lloyd himself, dozing on the stage. Quickly noticing Ed’s presence, however, Lloyd flees, remembering all too well of the danger that humans posed to him.
Unfortunately, Ed is left without AI Rambley’s presence, and Lloyd is slowly but surely pushed farther back into his domain. Lloyd at one point tries to attack, but the lion is clumsy. Though he can’t die of thirst or hunger, he still suffers from their effects, his body weak and dirty. Lloyd then leaves and lets this man do whatever he wants. Maybe if Lloyd hides in a corner, the scary human won’t come for him.
However, he is soon consumed by anger when he realizes that Ed takes the keys to Jetstream Junction. He can’t let this human escape, he might try to go and hurt Mollie! She’s probably locked in there like he’s locked in here!
Lloyd attacks, or tries to, at least. The accursed Critter Cuff wails, its high-pitched waves causing Lloyd to be paralyzed with pain. Once the sound stops, Lloyd runs away, his fears of torture reignited as he is subjected to pain he had not faced for almost twenty years.
Mascot Mollie, always lurking, heard the Critter Cuff go off, and she draws her conclusions well; Lloyd tried to fight the human, but was driven back, hurt and embarrassed in his own territory. From here, Mollie’s old, unresolved anger begins to build, following Ed as he opens up Jetstream Junction, much to her surprise. At first, she’s delighted. Finally, her old domain is open! She explores the place, running into Ed as they both take notice of one another. Perhaps she’ll let Ed go; he did do her a favor, after all.
But that notion is soon dissolved as she watched Ed run about the place like he owns it, Mollie’s anger mounting as he goes deeper into her home. Finally, she has enough. She attacks Ed, chasing him through the halls and tunnels Mollie so loves. Unfortunately, this final act turns out to be Mascot Mollie’s last. Just as she lunges for him, her head gets severed from her body by a metal door, her blood coating it and the surrounding environment bright red.
It is from here that AI Rambley is forced to acknowledge that this is not his familiar Indigo Park; it’s old and worn, the Mascots that once made people laugh now try to hunt them down. He forgets that they were abused because those files were wiped from him, and Mascot Mollie’s cries are very hard to discern as the echoes and Mascot Mollie’s own voice is ruined by age.
AI Rambley decides his best course of action is to enlist Ed’s help to repair the whole theme park. After all, he has all the information on how to go about it in his database, it just requires a physical body to do, something that the AI sorely lacks. And so, AI Rambley directs Ed toward the first place they need to kick back up: Oceanic Odyssey, home of the Mascot Finley. Perhaps this shy, reclusive sea snake won’t be trying to kill Ed.
On the way, though, Ed nearly stumbles upon the laboratories where the Mascots were made, so the AI makes sure to block that avenue. Ed was AI Rambley’s only hope of success, he wasn’t risking the man run away in terror from the sights and notes that likely were down there.
Ed finally reaches the Oceanic Odyssey attraction, pushing open the doors and following AI Rambley inside, catching a glimpse of a long, green, sea dragon in one of the aquariums …
END
Well, that’s about it! 12k words and 24 pages in, and I only covered the first chapter. Hoo boy …
I don’t think I need to reiterate that this is what I think happened, canonically. There will obviously be some wrong information due to the limited evidence I have to work with, and I intentionally remained vague during certain parts.
Despite that, I am very confident in a few ideas, such as the Mascot uprising, the weaponization of the Critter Cuff specifically against Lloyd the Lion, and the secret laboratories hidden behind that Royal Ranger Room area.
If you have any ideas of your own, let me know as well! I would love to theorize about some things that all of you think as well!
Also a huge shoutout and thank you to the creator of Indigo Park, Mason Myers, or UniqueGeese. The guy is insanely talented, considering this took him only one year to do. ONE! I can’t want to see the twists and turns he has to offer.
See you all later in Chapter 2! - Maddy
2024.06.02 05:50 Adventurous-Relief88 retaining in jc was the best thing that happened to me (in retrospect)
(and also how my teachers and friends saved my ass so many times🫶)
TL;DR at the end
NOTE: this is purely my own personal experience
to provide some bg info, in sec 1 i managed to barely sneak into an ip sec sch with one of the lowest cut off points - my psle score was literally 1 above the cop. by upper sec, i was failing all my subjects consistently (save for english) due to a slew of family problems and resultant mental health issues. i SHOULD have been retained in sec sch or forced to transfer to the o-level track bc i didn’t meet the promotion criteria to the affiliated jc, but my teachers chose to turn a blind eye and let me go on anyway. i was such a hopeless student (chronic absenteeism and outbursts) but in hindsight, i’m still grateful they made this concession for me because had i taken the o-levels, i probably wouldn’t have been able to go anywhere
in jc1 (2021), i never watched any lectures or did any tutorials. i was still just as hopeless as ever. anyone could tell i was still mentally unstable, still having family issues and that acads took a backseat in my mind. i didn’t have good relations with my teachers since i was such an unmotivated student. my support networks were non-existent (my closest friends were also struggling anyway). so it was not much surprise when by the end of the academic year, i had scored a measly 8.75rp (B in GP and U for everything else). still, instead of being directly retained, i was still given the chance to sit for some provisional advancement exams but ofc i failed da sht outta those anyway and actually got retained.
i think retaining made something click in my mind. despite all the past years of getting away with shit grades and not caring about school, i never truly suffered any “true” consequences since concessions were always made for me. but getting retained was now a tangible consequence i had to face. also, being placed into a new batch without the same faces from the past 5 years also helped me care less about people’s opinions and i could truly focus on myself. that said, i’m really grateful that it was in my jc that i retained. not sure how the support for retainees in other jcs are like, but i was put into a structured programme for retainees at the start of the year where we got to attend enrichment activities and head start lessons. also we were assigned to teachers that we could turn to for support :)
my family problems still persisted, sure, and school was still a scary place for me, but less than it had ever been. because i didn’t have pw or mt to worry about anymore, i also had a lot more free time in school. my friends who promoted shared lesson materials and answer keys with me, and also offered to teach me sometimes, which made getting through tutorials so much easier bc whenever i got stuck i knew i had help.
talking about external help, it really defined my retainee journey. i am immensely grateful to my friends and teachers who pushed me along. i was a pw slacker and i still got an A anyway bc my group mates carried… it’s something i still feel guilty about and i definitely didn’t deserve that A. i’m still friends with my pw mates till this day which im really grateful for. in my second jc1 year, because i actually started putting effort into my studies, it became much easier to build a rapport with my new teachers. moreover i think they had to keep an eye on me anyway since i was a retainee lol but i was able to form close relationships with them and they became an integral part of my support network as well :’)
in jc1 (2022) myes, i went into the exams with low expectations - maybe straight Ds and i would’ve been happy. i ended up scoring As for all my subjects except a B in one, which were completely unexpected since i only ever saw Us on my report slips. this kickstarted a “virtuous cycle” for me and i began to take pride in my academics. by the end of my second jc1 year, i had attained a perfect score in my second round of promotional examinations!! my friends and teachers were all really proud of me and i was really happy at that point in time :)
i also began to get more opportunities in school, like leadership positions and the chance to participate in competitions or lead events since i finally had my sht together. these all helped me with my portfolio building as well :’)
around a levels period, smth rly disruptive happened at home and i thought that perhaps the past 2 years of work would come crashing down. it was hard to study at home w everything that was going on. i left every paper unconfident. at that point, i was aiming for a pretty competitive uni course which was kind of unrealistic since i was a retainee, but i dared to dream big and since i had finally pulled myself together i thought that there was no harm in trying. however i thought my a levels score wouldn’t end up making the cut since i felt like my papers all went rly badly ;-;
for the 3 months between my last paper and a level results release, i avoided thinking about my score as much as possible. i kept all my notes and tutorials in case i ended up having to retake my a levels. on the day itself, i didn’t even show up to school to collect my results in person as i was so convinced that i had done badly and that i would end up crying in front of my classmates and teachers. in fact i even waited until the next day to open my results online. but lo and behold, i had attained a perfect score. i was so elated that i could actually apply for the course i wanted :’)
fast forward through the months, i submitted my applications and personal statements + portfolio and my teachers’ referee reports, received my interview invites, went for them, and then received my acceptances from the two local universities offering the degree i wanted. :’) everything truly worked out the best way they could have. circling back to the topic of help, i received a lot of support from my teachers and even reddit strangers during my uni applications haha
and that’s why, in retrospect, retaining was truly the best thing that could have happened to me. i don’t think it’d be far-fetched to say that it literally changed the trajectory of my life. i learned how to have a proper work ethic, took away a strong support network of friends and teachers, and honed important skills like leadership. i still cringe when i think about how much of a problem student i used to be, but it is only because i let things ever get that bad that now i know how important it is to stay on track.
i’m really grateful that as much as retaining is a taboo subject in jc, that i wasn’t discriminated against for having been a retainee. it might seem weird and like im making “retainee” my whole brand, but it was truly a turning point in my life and i wear it like a badge of honour almost.
i’m now excitedly waiting for uni to start in august. ٩( ᐛ )و
TL;DR: retaining helped me gain a proper work ethic and form a strong support network. my mental health also improved by leaps and bounds. i ended up scoring well at the a levels and was accepted into my desired uni course. so quite literally, retaining changed the trajectory of my life for the better🫶
submitted by Adventurous-Relief88 to SGExams [link] [comments]
TL;DR at the end
NOTE: this is purely my own personal experience
to provide some bg info, in sec 1 i managed to barely sneak into an ip sec sch with one of the lowest cut off points - my psle score was literally 1 above the cop. by upper sec, i was failing all my subjects consistently (save for english) due to a slew of family problems and resultant mental health issues. i SHOULD have been retained in sec sch or forced to transfer to the o-level track bc i didn’t meet the promotion criteria to the affiliated jc, but my teachers chose to turn a blind eye and let me go on anyway. i was such a hopeless student (chronic absenteeism and outbursts) but in hindsight, i’m still grateful they made this concession for me because had i taken the o-levels, i probably wouldn’t have been able to go anywhere
in jc1 (2021), i never watched any lectures or did any tutorials. i was still just as hopeless as ever. anyone could tell i was still mentally unstable, still having family issues and that acads took a backseat in my mind. i didn’t have good relations with my teachers since i was such an unmotivated student. my support networks were non-existent (my closest friends were also struggling anyway). so it was not much surprise when by the end of the academic year, i had scored a measly 8.75rp (B in GP and U for everything else). still, instead of being directly retained, i was still given the chance to sit for some provisional advancement exams but ofc i failed da sht outta those anyway and actually got retained.
i think retaining made something click in my mind. despite all the past years of getting away with shit grades and not caring about school, i never truly suffered any “true” consequences since concessions were always made for me. but getting retained was now a tangible consequence i had to face. also, being placed into a new batch without the same faces from the past 5 years also helped me care less about people’s opinions and i could truly focus on myself. that said, i’m really grateful that it was in my jc that i retained. not sure how the support for retainees in other jcs are like, but i was put into a structured programme for retainees at the start of the year where we got to attend enrichment activities and head start lessons. also we were assigned to teachers that we could turn to for support :)
my family problems still persisted, sure, and school was still a scary place for me, but less than it had ever been. because i didn’t have pw or mt to worry about anymore, i also had a lot more free time in school. my friends who promoted shared lesson materials and answer keys with me, and also offered to teach me sometimes, which made getting through tutorials so much easier bc whenever i got stuck i knew i had help.
talking about external help, it really defined my retainee journey. i am immensely grateful to my friends and teachers who pushed me along. i was a pw slacker and i still got an A anyway bc my group mates carried… it’s something i still feel guilty about and i definitely didn’t deserve that A. i’m still friends with my pw mates till this day which im really grateful for. in my second jc1 year, because i actually started putting effort into my studies, it became much easier to build a rapport with my new teachers. moreover i think they had to keep an eye on me anyway since i was a retainee lol but i was able to form close relationships with them and they became an integral part of my support network as well :’)
in jc1 (2022) myes, i went into the exams with low expectations - maybe straight Ds and i would’ve been happy. i ended up scoring As for all my subjects except a B in one, which were completely unexpected since i only ever saw Us on my report slips. this kickstarted a “virtuous cycle” for me and i began to take pride in my academics. by the end of my second jc1 year, i had attained a perfect score in my second round of promotional examinations!! my friends and teachers were all really proud of me and i was really happy at that point in time :)
i also began to get more opportunities in school, like leadership positions and the chance to participate in competitions or lead events since i finally had my sht together. these all helped me with my portfolio building as well :’)
around a levels period, smth rly disruptive happened at home and i thought that perhaps the past 2 years of work would come crashing down. it was hard to study at home w everything that was going on. i left every paper unconfident. at that point, i was aiming for a pretty competitive uni course which was kind of unrealistic since i was a retainee, but i dared to dream big and since i had finally pulled myself together i thought that there was no harm in trying. however i thought my a levels score wouldn’t end up making the cut since i felt like my papers all went rly badly ;-;
for the 3 months between my last paper and a level results release, i avoided thinking about my score as much as possible. i kept all my notes and tutorials in case i ended up having to retake my a levels. on the day itself, i didn’t even show up to school to collect my results in person as i was so convinced that i had done badly and that i would end up crying in front of my classmates and teachers. in fact i even waited until the next day to open my results online. but lo and behold, i had attained a perfect score. i was so elated that i could actually apply for the course i wanted :’)
fast forward through the months, i submitted my applications and personal statements + portfolio and my teachers’ referee reports, received my interview invites, went for them, and then received my acceptances from the two local universities offering the degree i wanted. :’) everything truly worked out the best way they could have. circling back to the topic of help, i received a lot of support from my teachers and even reddit strangers during my uni applications haha
and that’s why, in retrospect, retaining was truly the best thing that could have happened to me. i don’t think it’d be far-fetched to say that it literally changed the trajectory of my life. i learned how to have a proper work ethic, took away a strong support network of friends and teachers, and honed important skills like leadership. i still cringe when i think about how much of a problem student i used to be, but it is only because i let things ever get that bad that now i know how important it is to stay on track.
i’m really grateful that as much as retaining is a taboo subject in jc, that i wasn’t discriminated against for having been a retainee. it might seem weird and like im making “retainee” my whole brand, but it was truly a turning point in my life and i wear it like a badge of honour almost.
i’m now excitedly waiting for uni to start in august. ٩( ᐛ )و
TL;DR: retaining helped me gain a proper work ethic and form a strong support network. my mental health also improved by leaps and bounds. i ended up scoring well at the a levels and was accepted into my desired uni course. so quite literally, retaining changed the trajectory of my life for the better🫶
2024.06.02 05:49 cornpopjen Dating someone I'm physically attracted to, but emotionally feel very distant and disconnected from
We're both in our mid 20s for context. I've been dating a guy for about 5 months, and yet he has the familiarity of an acquaintance. The people in my life are telling me I need to bring in the deepeemotional questions, but even when I do attempt to do that, his answers are fairly surface level and don’t lead to anything deepevulnerable. I may as well be dating a stranger.
He’s very kind, honest, charismatic, good family, etc. He has so many of the traits I’m looking for in a partner, yet something is missing. I go on dates with him and feel stressed out, unsure of what to talk about. I see him maybe once a week. Our texts are also very shallow and small talk orientated. He texts me several “how’s your day” type questions throughout the day. I realize I sound like an ingrate, but I’d much rather him just text me to make plans and leave the chit-chat for real life. I told him I struggle with small talk and would prefer it if we didn’t do that, but nothing has changed, because there’s nothing else keeping the fragments of a connection alive. What’s bizarre to me is he seems happy and satisfied with the relationship. He tells me how happy I make him and talks about the future with me. I wonder if he likes me or just the idea of having a girlfriend.
Am I crazy? Can someone recommend some questions to get to a deeper point in this relationship? Should I just call it a day and break things off with him? The last guy I dated, I had a deep emotional bond with, but no physical attraction to, so I know I’m capable of getting to a deeper place in a relationship-- I just don’t remember how to do it. I guess I don’t know how to communicate with this particular guy. I’m at a complete loss.
Thanks for reading this.
submitted by cornpopjen to dating_advice [link] [comments]
He’s very kind, honest, charismatic, good family, etc. He has so many of the traits I’m looking for in a partner, yet something is missing. I go on dates with him and feel stressed out, unsure of what to talk about. I see him maybe once a week. Our texts are also very shallow and small talk orientated. He texts me several “how’s your day” type questions throughout the day. I realize I sound like an ingrate, but I’d much rather him just text me to make plans and leave the chit-chat for real life. I told him I struggle with small talk and would prefer it if we didn’t do that, but nothing has changed, because there’s nothing else keeping the fragments of a connection alive. What’s bizarre to me is he seems happy and satisfied with the relationship. He tells me how happy I make him and talks about the future with me. I wonder if he likes me or just the idea of having a girlfriend.
Am I crazy? Can someone recommend some questions to get to a deeper point in this relationship? Should I just call it a day and break things off with him? The last guy I dated, I had a deep emotional bond with, but no physical attraction to, so I know I’m capable of getting to a deeper place in a relationship-- I just don’t remember how to do it. I guess I don’t know how to communicate with this particular guy. I’m at a complete loss.
Thanks for reading this.
2024.06.02 05:22 sad_panda91 [SF] Do you see what I see? - Of Manifesting an Ice Cream Cone
"Not a single human being on this planet ever saw the universe."
Grand Arbiter Albert XLIII further declared, on their return 37 years after the last broadcast failed in the middle of explaining the secrets of the universe to us.
"What you are seeing is an image of the universe that your brain created to make sense of your surroundings. A mirage, an infinitely imperfect approximation. And there are roughly 8 Billion such approximations on this planet, not even counting non-human entities. We have observed you recently - debating wether the harmonic frequencies of light hitting the rods and cones of your eyes actually generate the same image of color in your brain for all of you equally, and you came to the conclusion that they might not. That everybodies version of "red" or "blue" might be ever so slightly, or completely different. We found it amusing that you aren't drawing the same conclusion to, well, everything else. Through the scientific method and communication accelerators like the Internet, your species managed to align big chunks of those "mirage universes" in your brains, but other areas not touched by the scientific method are left completely unexplored, and therefore to the imagination of the individual. Which lead to many "unfortunate misunderstandings" among you. But make no mistake, even after this global alignment of mirages, the universe inside your mind is still infinitely wrong in the grand scheme of things and unlike any other imagined universe of your peers. Your scientific method suggests the use of calibrated measurement devices that aren't biased by human error to gain knowledge of your surroundings. Which is brilliant, we might add. Your species came up with this kind of technology very early compared to similar lifeforms in other universes. You use these devices to create a "ground truth" from which you reference the rest of your conclusions and predictions. This enabled you to make predictions about the "real universe" you find yourself in, even with this fundamental error underlying your logic system. Either brilliant, or unfathomly lucky. It doesn't really matter. You can pat yourselves on the backs for that.
However, amusingly, you failed to find the crucial detail about the one fundamental, yet completely uncalibrated device at the bottom of everything - your brain - and the sensory organs as extensions of it. No single eye on this planet is the same, no nose, no ears, everything differs ever so slightly. Every brain is folded and twisted differently.
Therefore, what you are observing, and what your scientists are finding models for, is not the real universe. It is the image of this universe your brain creates for you, that makes sense to most of you and that most of your brains are able to understand and find agreement on. Nothing more, nothing less. Especially the intricacies that you are now finding in the infinitissimally small scales and the unfathomly large scales (you curiously still differentiate these two concepts, we observed) are the footprints that the architecture of your brain leaves on these mirage universes. You find numbers everywhere and turn everything into a more and more digital version of nature because the axons that are part of your neurons generate activation signals in a digital, all or nothing kind of way. This part of the brain is what you evolved to use for, among others, your logic systems. Your thinking is in large parts digital, so most of your logic is too. This has gone so far that some of you now think you are actually living in a computer simulation. In some regards, you do, but there is no cosmic entity that generated this simulation and put you in it. You are creating this simulation yourself, in your brain, as a means to maneuver your way around actual physical reality. Imagine having to memorize a picture, but your sensory input systems only allowed you to see one pixel at a time, chosen completely at random, without any reference as to where that pixel is located in the frame. So, you found chunking techniques, the help of your collective hive mind and ideas of particularly eccentric members of your society, to bit by bit close in on a mostly impossible task. But without a paradigm shift on your end, the entirety of the original picture will stay in the shadows of reality.
You created tools like algebra and geometry to circumvent the fact that your logic is mostly digital as a simulacrum of analog information, but for how remarkably useful it is for you to make predictions, it is to what is happening in the real world like what an abacus is to a personal computer. Sure, if you enter '1 + 1', in their own ways, both give you '2'. But one is the tip to the others impossibly large iceberg. It is a sensible abstraction. But it is nowhere close to being an accurate description of what is actually happening or in what ways it useful to you.
We don't want to discourage you by saying this. Your approach, even if it happened out of sheer luck, is brilliant. It really makes the best out of the limitations that you have by your sensory organs and the architecture of your brains. Once a few evolutionary steps later your brain can conceive of more complex logical patterns and images, you will get closer and closer to having an actual copy of the real universe in front of your minds eye. Through the scientific method, you are already optimizing for this. Again, given your species' age, you have developed such a technique incredibly quickly. But what you are doing is finding (very smart) workarounds over a fundamental error you all have in common.
My lifeform, which isn't too unlike yours, just much "older", has taken a different approach in its early stages. Our biggest thinkers found early on that the answers lie within. So for millenia, we focussed our exploration on finding our deepest and truest selves, once we started to move past basic survival instincts, that is. Only after many, many "quantum leaps" in the area of self discovery in the individual and the societal level, we started to artificially accelerate our communication, and overcome physical limitations through technology. It was a slower approach in the beginning, but once we got there, our intellectual growth was exponentially explosive. The time it took us to move from living in basic, mostly local communities that lived off the land - to bending our universe to our wills - was about the time between you writing your currently most popular spiritual fiction and landing on your planets moon for the first time. Note the actual durations might differ greatly, as the concept you call time is very different in our universe and we still haven't fully studied yours.
Anyways. After this event we call "universal reframing", everything else just... fell into place.
Our strategy basically was to, first, fully align our mental universes. And then to perform a depth search from a common starting point. You seemed to have rushed over a few of the crucial bits as soon as the first approach turned out to be useful. Actually, all of the bits but one. It must be a terribly confusing existence that you are living. We can only make an attempt to relate, as our evolutionary strand optimized for alignment before curiousity. That, you could say, was our dumb luck.
Are there any questions so far?"
There was a puzzling silence in an area packed with an amount of people that would normally be present at music festivals or presidential inaugurations. For an event of this magnitude, the stage was sparsely decorated and included only the necessities. Like last time, the visit was spontaneos and unannounced. Or maybe, like last time, we just didn't understand the announcement message, as it might have again came in the form of a formerly undiscovered particle, a seemingly arbitrary number of years prior to this event. They must think they are really funny.
One of the humans chosen as representative of the planet raised their hand.
"Please, speak. As always. Our 'time' is very limited."
"If I didn't misunderstand this: You said, our brains are basically creating what we call 'simulations' for ourselves, in our mind, to make sense of the actual universe we are in and base our actions on. Is this correct?"
"Based on the very crude definition your species has for the word 'correct' I would say 'yes, that is correct.'"
"And these simulations are getting closer and closer to the real deal, right? But what if, say, we didn't want the real deal. What if we liked our own personal pocket universes and instead wanted to bend that one to our own wills instead of the real one? You said we are bad at alignment and I would agree to the point where I say we probably go extinct to our own stupidity before we all agree on even one single thing. Can't we just use your knowledge to just, manifest things into our universe just by thinking about it, like in the movie Matrix, which might have crossed your desk while researching us. Great Movie."
"It did indeed. It is esteemed by my lifeform as what you would call 'slapstick comedy'. Since we moved past what constituted our form of entertainment, the media from your universe has become very popular among my peers. It is by sending samples back to our universe how we finance the probes we are sending here."
"You still have money?"
"I was making - what you call - a joke. Never heard of it in the context of a movie, but that title is immensely funny to me given the circumstances. Anyway, you wanted to know how to bend your 'simulated universe' around you. Alright. You might be slightly dissappointed by the beginning of my explanation, but listen till the end. And make of that what you will.
Let's start by what you mean by 'manifest' exactly. As the inaccuracy of your communication patterns shall not be a hindrance to this mentorship."
"Well... I imagine it. And then it sort of poofs into existence?"
"Understood. Actually, I will start explaning how you perform this action in the actual universe you are in, before I make the transfer to how you do it in the imagined one in your brain."
"Uh.. ok?"
"What would you like to be manifested?"
"I don't know. How about we go nice and easy with a cone of ice cream and start from there?"
"So be it. So, we start imagining the cone of ice cream. What does it consist off? Milk, sugar, eggs, and some smaller additions to suit your individuals taste buds. Let's begin with milk. You are getting it from cows (a practice my society finds quite alienating. We, too, have to get used to the wildly varying customs of lifeforms of the universes). Cows can be domesticated and bred, but first, we would have to overcome the physical distance between us, and a few locations on this planet. For that, I would advice designing and constructing a vehicle that is capa..."
"Oh come on, that's how we manifest things? We go and make them ourselves?? Oh wow, thanks a lot mister transcendant being. So the rest of the stuff you told us was also bullshit?"
"Please refrain from jumping to conclusions without the full picture in mind, even if it is in your existences nature to do so. Alright, so let me offer you a shortcut."
"Please do."
"I know of a location just a few human paces down this road, where you can exchange currency for a cone of ice cream."
"Seriously?"
"Yes."
"What the hell is the point of this?"
"The point is, once again: you - misunderstanding your existence. Especially in conjunction with your incredibly limited ability to verbalize concepts using your own vocabulary. You are barely at the point of being able to convey emotions in every day speech, and are now expecting to understand high level 4 dimensional concepts after just a few of your incredibly inaccurate words. Tell me now, please: What do you perceive as the difference of these two scenarios I just mentioned? In a temporal manner and in the energy required?"
"Well, it would be much easier and faster to just go down the road and buy a cone of ice cream, but that isn't tremendously astounding information to us, you have to understand."
"'Much'? Let's give this word, 'much', a bit of a frame of reference. The differences between these scenarios are: About 15000 years of agriculture and animal husbandry; countless inventions that led to your current state of technology which allows for refrigeration in a way advanced enough to get the ice cream to just the right texture that your modern palate is accustomed to; An education system that allows for such inventions to occur in time for you to be standing here, demanding ice cream, and actually getting it. Not mentioning the infrastructure that makes you bridge the physical distances of every single time any of these steps needed anything. And meanwhile destroying the naturally occuring resources of your planet bit by bit.
Or, scenario 2: You take the money that you got from staring at a computer screen for about 7 minutes, choose one of the ice cream parlors that your civilization made sure to be on average a 30 minutes driving distance from every single living human. (You aren't very good at even distributions though, we found.). And go and get that ice cream. Even including the infrastructural costs existing now, we have narrowed this process down from not even being close to a reality for thousands of generations to being at most 30 minutes away and dirt cheap, assuming an amount of efficient preparation, that is part of the technology that lead you here.
If you ask me, between scenario 1 and 2, you became so many orders of magnitude closer to 'poofing it into existence' that a human mind has troubles comprehending it. And therefore, appreciating it. From '0% of the human population has access to this within their lifetime and no one will for the next couple millenia' to 'Over half the human population has access to this within 30 minutes", taking into account the total timespan, the amount of events that had to occur and the amount of incremental learnings that had to accumulate, for this to happen even once for anybody, I believe the time and energy you have to exert to access your ice cream cone right now is a rounding error in the grand scheme of things. And you aren't even close to finishing your development as humans - if you manage to not kill yourself somehow.
You are constantly manifesting things into reality, the only issue is that you severely and heavily underestimate what it means 'to imagine a thing'.
Please allow my vanity, but this is an important lesson for the following part that you are, I'm afraid, more interested in. How to do that in your head. And potentially much faster. Well assuming thaXXXxxxx----.----."
"Oh wow, not again. Mighty convenient this always happens right when it gets interesting."
"First, you have to understand that.,.......... The limitations of spacetime that you perceive.... are not present in nature..... nature is infinitely 'dimensional', and in fact XXxxx.....----..--.-.- has no concept for infinity....-.-.--. it is a human made.....-.-.-.- model to describe a perfectly natural phenomenon you lack the words for at this time..._xxxx.xxx-x---.-.--.-zzzz."
"Come on, speak faster! The battery is dying again!"
" ...physical distance...S;.,.XXXxx...currently a big bottleneck for your progres...asd.döö,,,, is also a limitation of your cortex, not nature,.....-as.d.sa......the concept of an 'extent' only exists from certain frames of references..-.-..-.a.ss.a.as.... in others everything is....a.s-d.-.---.-..-xxxx on top of each other, overlapping each other in what you call 'time' AND 'space'"
"...XXXxsasad Listen."
"I am running out of time again humans. The Hopf Fibration. It is a great first step. But move away from your digital thinking. Treat your numbers. .aD;,aC:.x.cx.ac,.as,dca.s like your waves...CKLUJCJUCCLICK"
The broadcast stopped.
"I never know if these things make me smarter, or dumber. Sadly the alien is gone now so it can't tell me that there actually is no smart or dumb."
submitted by sad_panda91 to shortstories [link] [comments]
Grand Arbiter Albert XLIII further declared, on their return 37 years after the last broadcast failed in the middle of explaining the secrets of the universe to us.
"What you are seeing is an image of the universe that your brain created to make sense of your surroundings. A mirage, an infinitely imperfect approximation. And there are roughly 8 Billion such approximations on this planet, not even counting non-human entities. We have observed you recently - debating wether the harmonic frequencies of light hitting the rods and cones of your eyes actually generate the same image of color in your brain for all of you equally, and you came to the conclusion that they might not. That everybodies version of "red" or "blue" might be ever so slightly, or completely different. We found it amusing that you aren't drawing the same conclusion to, well, everything else. Through the scientific method and communication accelerators like the Internet, your species managed to align big chunks of those "mirage universes" in your brains, but other areas not touched by the scientific method are left completely unexplored, and therefore to the imagination of the individual. Which lead to many "unfortunate misunderstandings" among you. But make no mistake, even after this global alignment of mirages, the universe inside your mind is still infinitely wrong in the grand scheme of things and unlike any other imagined universe of your peers. Your scientific method suggests the use of calibrated measurement devices that aren't biased by human error to gain knowledge of your surroundings. Which is brilliant, we might add. Your species came up with this kind of technology very early compared to similar lifeforms in other universes. You use these devices to create a "ground truth" from which you reference the rest of your conclusions and predictions. This enabled you to make predictions about the "real universe" you find yourself in, even with this fundamental error underlying your logic system. Either brilliant, or unfathomly lucky. It doesn't really matter. You can pat yourselves on the backs for that.
However, amusingly, you failed to find the crucial detail about the one fundamental, yet completely uncalibrated device at the bottom of everything - your brain - and the sensory organs as extensions of it. No single eye on this planet is the same, no nose, no ears, everything differs ever so slightly. Every brain is folded and twisted differently.
Therefore, what you are observing, and what your scientists are finding models for, is not the real universe. It is the image of this universe your brain creates for you, that makes sense to most of you and that most of your brains are able to understand and find agreement on. Nothing more, nothing less. Especially the intricacies that you are now finding in the infinitissimally small scales and the unfathomly large scales (you curiously still differentiate these two concepts, we observed) are the footprints that the architecture of your brain leaves on these mirage universes. You find numbers everywhere and turn everything into a more and more digital version of nature because the axons that are part of your neurons generate activation signals in a digital, all or nothing kind of way. This part of the brain is what you evolved to use for, among others, your logic systems. Your thinking is in large parts digital, so most of your logic is too. This has gone so far that some of you now think you are actually living in a computer simulation. In some regards, you do, but there is no cosmic entity that generated this simulation and put you in it. You are creating this simulation yourself, in your brain, as a means to maneuver your way around actual physical reality. Imagine having to memorize a picture, but your sensory input systems only allowed you to see one pixel at a time, chosen completely at random, without any reference as to where that pixel is located in the frame. So, you found chunking techniques, the help of your collective hive mind and ideas of particularly eccentric members of your society, to bit by bit close in on a mostly impossible task. But without a paradigm shift on your end, the entirety of the original picture will stay in the shadows of reality.
You created tools like algebra and geometry to circumvent the fact that your logic is mostly digital as a simulacrum of analog information, but for how remarkably useful it is for you to make predictions, it is to what is happening in the real world like what an abacus is to a personal computer. Sure, if you enter '1 + 1', in their own ways, both give you '2'. But one is the tip to the others impossibly large iceberg. It is a sensible abstraction. But it is nowhere close to being an accurate description of what is actually happening or in what ways it useful to you.
We don't want to discourage you by saying this. Your approach, even if it happened out of sheer luck, is brilliant. It really makes the best out of the limitations that you have by your sensory organs and the architecture of your brains. Once a few evolutionary steps later your brain can conceive of more complex logical patterns and images, you will get closer and closer to having an actual copy of the real universe in front of your minds eye. Through the scientific method, you are already optimizing for this. Again, given your species' age, you have developed such a technique incredibly quickly. But what you are doing is finding (very smart) workarounds over a fundamental error you all have in common.
My lifeform, which isn't too unlike yours, just much "older", has taken a different approach in its early stages. Our biggest thinkers found early on that the answers lie within. So for millenia, we focussed our exploration on finding our deepest and truest selves, once we started to move past basic survival instincts, that is. Only after many, many "quantum leaps" in the area of self discovery in the individual and the societal level, we started to artificially accelerate our communication, and overcome physical limitations through technology. It was a slower approach in the beginning, but once we got there, our intellectual growth was exponentially explosive. The time it took us to move from living in basic, mostly local communities that lived off the land - to bending our universe to our wills - was about the time between you writing your currently most popular spiritual fiction and landing on your planets moon for the first time. Note the actual durations might differ greatly, as the concept you call time is very different in our universe and we still haven't fully studied yours.
Anyways. After this event we call "universal reframing", everything else just... fell into place.
Our strategy basically was to, first, fully align our mental universes. And then to perform a depth search from a common starting point. You seemed to have rushed over a few of the crucial bits as soon as the first approach turned out to be useful. Actually, all of the bits but one. It must be a terribly confusing existence that you are living. We can only make an attempt to relate, as our evolutionary strand optimized for alignment before curiousity. That, you could say, was our dumb luck.
Are there any questions so far?"
There was a puzzling silence in an area packed with an amount of people that would normally be present at music festivals or presidential inaugurations. For an event of this magnitude, the stage was sparsely decorated and included only the necessities. Like last time, the visit was spontaneos and unannounced. Or maybe, like last time, we just didn't understand the announcement message, as it might have again came in the form of a formerly undiscovered particle, a seemingly arbitrary number of years prior to this event. They must think they are really funny.
One of the humans chosen as representative of the planet raised their hand.
"Please, speak. As always. Our 'time' is very limited."
"If I didn't misunderstand this: You said, our brains are basically creating what we call 'simulations' for ourselves, in our mind, to make sense of the actual universe we are in and base our actions on. Is this correct?"
"Based on the very crude definition your species has for the word 'correct' I would say 'yes, that is correct.'"
"And these simulations are getting closer and closer to the real deal, right? But what if, say, we didn't want the real deal. What if we liked our own personal pocket universes and instead wanted to bend that one to our own wills instead of the real one? You said we are bad at alignment and I would agree to the point where I say we probably go extinct to our own stupidity before we all agree on even one single thing. Can't we just use your knowledge to just, manifest things into our universe just by thinking about it, like in the movie Matrix, which might have crossed your desk while researching us. Great Movie."
"It did indeed. It is esteemed by my lifeform as what you would call 'slapstick comedy'. Since we moved past what constituted our form of entertainment, the media from your universe has become very popular among my peers. It is by sending samples back to our universe how we finance the probes we are sending here."
"You still have money?"
"I was making - what you call - a joke. Never heard of it in the context of a movie, but that title is immensely funny to me given the circumstances. Anyway, you wanted to know how to bend your 'simulated universe' around you. Alright. You might be slightly dissappointed by the beginning of my explanation, but listen till the end. And make of that what you will.
Let's start by what you mean by 'manifest' exactly. As the inaccuracy of your communication patterns shall not be a hindrance to this mentorship."
"Well... I imagine it. And then it sort of poofs into existence?"
"Understood. Actually, I will start explaning how you perform this action in the actual universe you are in, before I make the transfer to how you do it in the imagined one in your brain."
"Uh.. ok?"
"What would you like to be manifested?"
"I don't know. How about we go nice and easy with a cone of ice cream and start from there?"
"So be it. So, we start imagining the cone of ice cream. What does it consist off? Milk, sugar, eggs, and some smaller additions to suit your individuals taste buds. Let's begin with milk. You are getting it from cows (a practice my society finds quite alienating. We, too, have to get used to the wildly varying customs of lifeforms of the universes). Cows can be domesticated and bred, but first, we would have to overcome the physical distance between us, and a few locations on this planet. For that, I would advice designing and constructing a vehicle that is capa..."
"Oh come on, that's how we manifest things? We go and make them ourselves?? Oh wow, thanks a lot mister transcendant being. So the rest of the stuff you told us was also bullshit?"
"Please refrain from jumping to conclusions without the full picture in mind, even if it is in your existences nature to do so. Alright, so let me offer you a shortcut."
"Please do."
"I know of a location just a few human paces down this road, where you can exchange currency for a cone of ice cream."
"Seriously?"
"Yes."
"What the hell is the point of this?"
"The point is, once again: you - misunderstanding your existence. Especially in conjunction with your incredibly limited ability to verbalize concepts using your own vocabulary. You are barely at the point of being able to convey emotions in every day speech, and are now expecting to understand high level 4 dimensional concepts after just a few of your incredibly inaccurate words. Tell me now, please: What do you perceive as the difference of these two scenarios I just mentioned? In a temporal manner and in the energy required?"
"Well, it would be much easier and faster to just go down the road and buy a cone of ice cream, but that isn't tremendously astounding information to us, you have to understand."
"'Much'? Let's give this word, 'much', a bit of a frame of reference. The differences between these scenarios are: About 15000 years of agriculture and animal husbandry; countless inventions that led to your current state of technology which allows for refrigeration in a way advanced enough to get the ice cream to just the right texture that your modern palate is accustomed to; An education system that allows for such inventions to occur in time for you to be standing here, demanding ice cream, and actually getting it. Not mentioning the infrastructure that makes you bridge the physical distances of every single time any of these steps needed anything. And meanwhile destroying the naturally occuring resources of your planet bit by bit.
Or, scenario 2: You take the money that you got from staring at a computer screen for about 7 minutes, choose one of the ice cream parlors that your civilization made sure to be on average a 30 minutes driving distance from every single living human. (You aren't very good at even distributions though, we found.). And go and get that ice cream. Even including the infrastructural costs existing now, we have narrowed this process down from not even being close to a reality for thousands of generations to being at most 30 minutes away and dirt cheap, assuming an amount of efficient preparation, that is part of the technology that lead you here.
If you ask me, between scenario 1 and 2, you became so many orders of magnitude closer to 'poofing it into existence' that a human mind has troubles comprehending it. And therefore, appreciating it. From '0% of the human population has access to this within their lifetime and no one will for the next couple millenia' to 'Over half the human population has access to this within 30 minutes", taking into account the total timespan, the amount of events that had to occur and the amount of incremental learnings that had to accumulate, for this to happen even once for anybody, I believe the time and energy you have to exert to access your ice cream cone right now is a rounding error in the grand scheme of things. And you aren't even close to finishing your development as humans - if you manage to not kill yourself somehow.
You are constantly manifesting things into reality, the only issue is that you severely and heavily underestimate what it means 'to imagine a thing'.
Please allow my vanity, but this is an important lesson for the following part that you are, I'm afraid, more interested in. How to do that in your head. And potentially much faster. Well assuming thaXXXxxxx----.----."
"Oh wow, not again. Mighty convenient this always happens right when it gets interesting."
"First, you have to understand that.,.......... The limitations of spacetime that you perceive.... are not present in nature..... nature is infinitely 'dimensional', and in fact XXxxx.....----..--.-.- has no concept for infinity....-.-.--. it is a human made.....-.-.-.- model to describe a perfectly natural phenomenon you lack the words for at this time..._xxxx.xxx-x---.-.--.-zzzz."
"Come on, speak faster! The battery is dying again!"
" ...physical distance...S;.,.XXXxx...currently a big bottleneck for your progres...asd.döö,,,, is also a limitation of your cortex, not nature,.....-as.d.sa......the concept of an 'extent' only exists from certain frames of references..-.-..-.a.ss.a.as.... in others everything is....a.s-d.-.---.-..-xxxx on top of each other, overlapping each other in what you call 'time' AND 'space'"
"...XXXxsasad Listen."
"I am running out of time again humans. The Hopf Fibration. It is a great first step. But move away from your digital thinking. Treat your numbers. .aD;,aC:.x.cx.ac,.as,dca.s like your waves...CKLUJCJUCCLICK"
The broadcast stopped.
"I never know if these things make me smarter, or dumber. Sadly the alien is gone now so it can't tell me that there actually is no smart or dumb."
2024.06.02 05:13 sad_panda91 "Do you see what I see?" - Of Manifesting an Ice Cream Cone
"Not a single human being on this planet ever saw the universe."
Grand Arbiter Albert XLIII further declared, on their return 37 years after the last broadcast failed in the middle of explaining the secrets of the universe to us.
"What you are seeing is an image of the universe that your brain created to make sense of your surroundings. A mirage, an infinitely imperfect approximation. And there are roughly 8 Billion such approximations on this planet, not even counting non-human entities. We have observed you recently - debating wether the harmonic frequencies of light hitting the rods and cones of your eyes actually generate the same image of color in your brain for all of you equally, and you came to the conclusion that they might not. That everybodies version of "red" or "blue" might be ever so slightly, or completely different. We found it amusing that you aren't drawing the same conclusion to, well, everything else. Through the scientific method and communication accelerators like the Internet, your species managed to align big chunks of those "mirage universes" in your brains, but other areas not touched by the scientific method are left completely unexplored, and therefore to the imagination of the individual. Which lead to many "unfortunate misunderstandings" among you. But make no mistake, even after this global alignment of mirages, the universe inside your mind is still infinitely wrong in the grand scheme of things and unlike any other imagined universe of your peers. Your scientific method suggests the use of calibrated measurement devices that aren't biased by human error to gain knowledge of your surroundings. Which is brilliant, we might add. Your species came up with this kind of technology very early compared to similar lifeforms in other universes. You use these devices to create a "ground truth" from which you reference the rest of your conclusions and predictions. This enabled you to make predictions about the "real universe" you find yourself in, even with this fundamental error underlying your logic system. Either brilliant, or unfathomly lucky. It doesn't really matter. You can pat yourselves on the backs for that.
However, amusingly, you failed to find the crucial detail about the one fundamental, yet completely uncalibrated device at the bottom of everything - your brain - and the sensory organs as extensions of it. No single eye on this planet is the same, no nose, no ears, everything differs ever so slightly. Every brain is folded and twisted differently.
Therefore, what you are observing, and what your scientists are finding models for, is not the real universe. It is the image of this universe your brain creates for you, that makes sense to most of you and that most of your brains are able to understand and find agreement on. Nothing more, nothing less. Especially the intricacies that you are now finding in the infinitissimally small scales and the unfathomly large scales (you curiously still differentiate these two concepts, we observed) are the footprints that the architecture of your brain leaves on these mirage universes. You find numbers everywhere and turn everything into a more and more digital version of nature because the axons that are part of your neurons generate activation signals in a digital, all or nothing kind of way. This part of the brain is what you evolved to use for, among others, your logic systems. Your thinking is in large parts digital, so most of your logic is too. This has gone so far that some of you now think you are actually living in a computer simulation. In some regards, you do, but there is no cosmic entity that generated this simulation and put you in it. You are creating this simulation yourself, in your brain, as a means to maneuver your way around actual physical reality. Imagine having to memorize a picture, but your sensory input systems only allowed you to see one pixel at a time, chosen completely at random, without any reference as to where that pixel is located in the frame. So, you found chunking techniques, the help of your collective hive mind and ideas of particularly eccentric members of your society, to bit by bit close in on a mostly impossible task. But without a paradigm shift on your end, the entirety of the original picture will stay in the shadows of reality.
You created tools like algebra and geometry to circumvent the fact that your logic is mostly digital as a simulacrum of analog information, but for how remarkably useful it is for you to make predictions, it is to what is happening in the real world like what an abacus is to a personal computer. Sure, if you enter '1 + 1', in their own ways, both give you '2'. But one is the tip to the others impossibly large iceberg. It is a sensible abstraction. But it is nowhere close to being an accurate description of what is actually happening or in what ways it useful to you.
We don't want to discourage you by saying this. Your approach, even if it happened out of sheer luck, is brilliant. It really makes the best out of the limitations that you have by your sensory organs and the architecture of your brains. Once a few evolutionary steps later your brain can conceive of more complex logical patterns and images, you will get closer and closer to having an actual copy of the real universe in front of your minds eye. Through the scientific method, you are already optimizing for this. Again, given your species' age, you have developed such a technique incredibly quickly. But what you are doing is finding (very smart) workarounds over a fundamental error you all have in common.
My lifeform, which isn't too unlike yours, just much "older", has taken a different approach in its early stages. Our biggest thinkers found early on that the answers lie within. So for millenia, we focussed our exploration on finding our deepest and truest selves, once we started to move past basic survival instincts, that is. Only after many, many "quantum leaps" in the area of self discovery in the individual and the societal level, we started to artificially accelerate our communication, and overcome physical limitations through technology. It was a slower approach in the beginning, but once we got there, our intellectual growth was exponentially explosive. The time it took us to move from living in basic, mostly local communities that lived off the land - to bending our universe to our wills - was about the time between you writing your currently most popular spiritual fiction and landing on your planets moon for the first time. Note the actual durations might differ greatly, as the concept you call time is very different in our universe and we still haven't fully studied yours.
Anyways. After this event we call "universal reframing", everything else just... fell into place.
Our strategy basically was to, first, fully align our mental universes. And then to perform a depth search from a common starting point. You seemed to have rushed over a few of the crucial bits as soon as the first approach turned out to be useful. Actually, all of the bits but one. It must be a terribly confusing existence that you are living. We can only make an attempt to relate, as our evolutionary strand optimized for alignment before curiousity. That, you could say, was our dumb luck.
Are there any questions so far?"
There was a puzzling silence in an area packed with an amount of people that would normally be present at music festivals or presidential inaugurations. For an event of this magnitude, the stage was sparsely decorated and included only the necessities. Like last time, the visit was spontaneos and unannounced. Or maybe, like last time, we just didn't understand the announcement message, as it might have again came in the form of a formerly undiscovered particle, a seemingly arbitrary number of years prior to this event. They must think they are really funny.
One of the humans chosen as representative of the planet raised their hand.
"Please, speak. As always. Our 'time' is very limited."
"If I didn't misunderstand this: You said, our brains are basically creating what we call 'simulations' for ourselves, in our mind, to make sense of the actual universe we are in and base our actions on. Is this correct?"
"Based on the very crude definition your species has for the word 'correct' I would say 'yes, that is correct.'"
"And these simulations are getting closer and closer to the real deal, right? But what if, say, we didn't want the real deal. What if we liked our own personal pocket universes and instead wanted to bend that one to our own wills instead of the real one? You said we are bad at alignment and I would agree to the point where I say we probably go extinct to our own stupidity before we all agree on even one single thing. Can't we just use your knowledge to just, manifest things into our universe just by thinking about it, like in the movie Matrix, which might have crossed your desk while researching us. Great Movie."
"It did indeed. It is esteemed by my lifeform as what you would call 'slapstick comedy'. Since we moved past what constituted our form of entertainment, the media from your universe has become very popular among my peers. It is by sending samples back to our universe how we finance the probes we are sending here."
"You still have money?"
"I was making - what you call - a joke. Never heard of it in the context of a movie, but that title is immensely funny to me given the circumstances. Anyway, you wanted to know how to bend your 'simulated universe' around you. Alright. You might be slightly dissappointed by the beginning of my explanation, but listen till the end. And make of that what you will.
Let's start by what you mean by 'manifest' exactly. As the inaccuracy of your communication patterns shall not be a hindrance to this mentorship."
"Well... I imagine it. And then it sort of poofs into existence?"
"Understood. Actually, I will start explaning how you perform this action in the actual universe you are in, before I make the transfer to how you do it in the imagined one in your brain."
"Uh.. ok?"
"What would you like to be manifested?"
"I don't know. How about we go nice and easy with a cone of ice cream and start from there?"
"So be it. So, we start imagining the cone of ice cream. What does it consist off? Milk, sugar, eggs, and some smaller additions to suit your individuals taste buds. Let's begin with milk. You are getting it from cows (a practice my society finds quite alienating. We, too, have to get used to the wildly varying customs of lifeforms of the universes). Cows can be domesticated and bred, but first, we would have to overcome the physical distance between us, and a few locations on this planet. For that, I would advice designing and constructing a vehicle that is capa..."
"Oh come on, that's how we manifest things? We go and make them ourselves?? Oh wow, thanks a lot mister transcendant being. So the rest of the stuff you told us was also bullshit?"
"Please refrain from jumping to conclusions without the full picture in mind, even if it is in your existences nature to do so. Alright, so let me offer you a shortcut."
"Please do."
"I know of a location just a few human paces down this road, where you can exchange currency for a cone of ice cream."
"Seriously?"
"Yes."
"What the hell is the point of this?"
"The point is, once again: you - misunderstanding your existence. Especially in conjunction with your incredibly limited ability to verbalize concepts using your own vocabulary. You are barely at the point of being able to convey emotions in every day speech, and are now expecting to understand high level 4 dimensional concepts after just a few of your incredibly inaccurate words. Tell me now, please: What do you perceive as the difference of these two scenarios I just mentioned? In a temporal manner and in the energy required?"
"Well, it would be much easier and faster to just go down the road and buy a cone of ice cream, but that isn't tremendously astounding information to us, you have to understand."
"'Much'? Let's give this word, 'much', a bit of a frame of reference. The differences between these scenarios are: About 15000 years of agriculture and animal husbandry; countless inventions that led to your current state of technology which allows for refrigeration in a way advanced enough to get the ice cream to just the right texture that your modern palate is accustomed to; An education system that allows for such inventions to occur in time for you to be standing here, demanding ice cream, and actually getting it. Not mentioning the infrastructure that makes you bridge the physical distances of every single time any of these steps needed anything. And meanwhile destroying the naturally occuring resources of your planet bit by bit.
Or, scenario 2: You take the money that you got from staring at a computer screen for about 7 minutes, choose one of the ice cream parlors that your civilization made sure to be on average a 30 minutes driving distance from every single living human. (You aren't very good at even distributions though, we found.). And go and get that ice cream. Even including the infrastructural costs existing now, we have narrowed this process down from not even being close to a reality for thousands of generations to being at most 30 minutes away and dirt cheap, assuming an amount of efficient preparation, that is part of the technology that lead you here.
If you ask me, between scenario 1 and 2, you became so many orders of magnitude closer to 'poofing it into existence' that a human mind has troubles comprehending it. And therefore, appreciating it. From '0% of the human population has access to this within their lifetime and no one will for the next couple millenia' to 'Over half the human population has access to this within 30 minutes", taking into account the total timespan, the amount of events that had to occur and the amount of incremental learnings that had to accumulate, for this to happen even once for anybody, I believe the time and energy you have to exert to access your ice cream cone right now is a rounding error in the grand scheme of things. And you aren't even close to finishing your development as humans - if you manage to not kill yourself somehow.
You are constantly manifesting things into reality, the only issue is that you severely and heavily underestimate what it means 'to imagine a thing'.
Please allow my vanity, but this is an important lesson for the following part that you are, I'm afraid, more interested in. How to do that in your head. And potentially much faster. Well assuming thaXXXxxxx----.----."
"Oh wow, not again. Mighty convenient this always happens right when it gets interesting."
"First, you have to understand that.,.......... The limitations of spacetime that you perceive.... are not present in nature..... nature is infinitely 'dimensional', and in fact XXxxx.....----..--.-.- has no concept for infinity....-.-.--. it is a human made.....-.-.-.- model to describe a perfectly natural phenomenon you lack the words for at this time..._xxxx.xxx-x---.-.--.-zzzz."
"Come on, speak faster! The battery is dying again!"
" ...physical distance...S;.,.XXXxx...currently a big bottleneck for your progres...asd.döö,,,, is also a limitation of your cortex, not nature,.....-as.d.sa......the concept of an 'extent' only exists from certain frames of references..-.-..-.a.ss.a.as.... in others everything is....a.s-d.-.---.-..-xxxx on top of each other, overlapping each other in what you call 'time' AND 'space'"
"...XXXxsasad Listen."
"I am running out of time again humans. The Hopf Fibration. It is a great first step. But move away from your digital thinking. Treat your numbers. .aD;,aC:.x.cx.ac,.as,dca.s like your waves...CKLUJCJUCCLICK"
The broadcast stopped.
"I never know if these things make me smarter, or dumber. Sadly the alien is gone now so it can't tell me that there actually is no smart or dumb."
submitted by sad_panda91 to scifiwriting [link] [comments]
Grand Arbiter Albert XLIII further declared, on their return 37 years after the last broadcast failed in the middle of explaining the secrets of the universe to us.
"What you are seeing is an image of the universe that your brain created to make sense of your surroundings. A mirage, an infinitely imperfect approximation. And there are roughly 8 Billion such approximations on this planet, not even counting non-human entities. We have observed you recently - debating wether the harmonic frequencies of light hitting the rods and cones of your eyes actually generate the same image of color in your brain for all of you equally, and you came to the conclusion that they might not. That everybodies version of "red" or "blue" might be ever so slightly, or completely different. We found it amusing that you aren't drawing the same conclusion to, well, everything else. Through the scientific method and communication accelerators like the Internet, your species managed to align big chunks of those "mirage universes" in your brains, but other areas not touched by the scientific method are left completely unexplored, and therefore to the imagination of the individual. Which lead to many "unfortunate misunderstandings" among you. But make no mistake, even after this global alignment of mirages, the universe inside your mind is still infinitely wrong in the grand scheme of things and unlike any other imagined universe of your peers. Your scientific method suggests the use of calibrated measurement devices that aren't biased by human error to gain knowledge of your surroundings. Which is brilliant, we might add. Your species came up with this kind of technology very early compared to similar lifeforms in other universes. You use these devices to create a "ground truth" from which you reference the rest of your conclusions and predictions. This enabled you to make predictions about the "real universe" you find yourself in, even with this fundamental error underlying your logic system. Either brilliant, or unfathomly lucky. It doesn't really matter. You can pat yourselves on the backs for that.
However, amusingly, you failed to find the crucial detail about the one fundamental, yet completely uncalibrated device at the bottom of everything - your brain - and the sensory organs as extensions of it. No single eye on this planet is the same, no nose, no ears, everything differs ever so slightly. Every brain is folded and twisted differently.
Therefore, what you are observing, and what your scientists are finding models for, is not the real universe. It is the image of this universe your brain creates for you, that makes sense to most of you and that most of your brains are able to understand and find agreement on. Nothing more, nothing less. Especially the intricacies that you are now finding in the infinitissimally small scales and the unfathomly large scales (you curiously still differentiate these two concepts, we observed) are the footprints that the architecture of your brain leaves on these mirage universes. You find numbers everywhere and turn everything into a more and more digital version of nature because the axons that are part of your neurons generate activation signals in a digital, all or nothing kind of way. This part of the brain is what you evolved to use for, among others, your logic systems. Your thinking is in large parts digital, so most of your logic is too. This has gone so far that some of you now think you are actually living in a computer simulation. In some regards, you do, but there is no cosmic entity that generated this simulation and put you in it. You are creating this simulation yourself, in your brain, as a means to maneuver your way around actual physical reality. Imagine having to memorize a picture, but your sensory input systems only allowed you to see one pixel at a time, chosen completely at random, without any reference as to where that pixel is located in the frame. So, you found chunking techniques, the help of your collective hive mind and ideas of particularly eccentric members of your society, to bit by bit close in on a mostly impossible task. But without a paradigm shift on your end, the entirety of the original picture will stay in the shadows of reality.
You created tools like algebra and geometry to circumvent the fact that your logic is mostly digital as a simulacrum of analog information, but for how remarkably useful it is for you to make predictions, it is to what is happening in the real world like what an abacus is to a personal computer. Sure, if you enter '1 + 1', in their own ways, both give you '2'. But one is the tip to the others impossibly large iceberg. It is a sensible abstraction. But it is nowhere close to being an accurate description of what is actually happening or in what ways it useful to you.
We don't want to discourage you by saying this. Your approach, even if it happened out of sheer luck, is brilliant. It really makes the best out of the limitations that you have by your sensory organs and the architecture of your brains. Once a few evolutionary steps later your brain can conceive of more complex logical patterns and images, you will get closer and closer to having an actual copy of the real universe in front of your minds eye. Through the scientific method, you are already optimizing for this. Again, given your species' age, you have developed such a technique incredibly quickly. But what you are doing is finding (very smart) workarounds over a fundamental error you all have in common.
My lifeform, which isn't too unlike yours, just much "older", has taken a different approach in its early stages. Our biggest thinkers found early on that the answers lie within. So for millenia, we focussed our exploration on finding our deepest and truest selves, once we started to move past basic survival instincts, that is. Only after many, many "quantum leaps" in the area of self discovery in the individual and the societal level, we started to artificially accelerate our communication, and overcome physical limitations through technology. It was a slower approach in the beginning, but once we got there, our intellectual growth was exponentially explosive. The time it took us to move from living in basic, mostly local communities that lived off the land - to bending our universe to our wills - was about the time between you writing your currently most popular spiritual fiction and landing on your planets moon for the first time. Note the actual durations might differ greatly, as the concept you call time is very different in our universe and we still haven't fully studied yours.
Anyways. After this event we call "universal reframing", everything else just... fell into place.
Our strategy basically was to, first, fully align our mental universes. And then to perform a depth search from a common starting point. You seemed to have rushed over a few of the crucial bits as soon as the first approach turned out to be useful. Actually, all of the bits but one. It must be a terribly confusing existence that you are living. We can only make an attempt to relate, as our evolutionary strand optimized for alignment before curiousity. That, you could say, was our dumb luck.
Are there any questions so far?"
There was a puzzling silence in an area packed with an amount of people that would normally be present at music festivals or presidential inaugurations. For an event of this magnitude, the stage was sparsely decorated and included only the necessities. Like last time, the visit was spontaneos and unannounced. Or maybe, like last time, we just didn't understand the announcement message, as it might have again came in the form of a formerly undiscovered particle, a seemingly arbitrary number of years prior to this event. They must think they are really funny.
One of the humans chosen as representative of the planet raised their hand.
"Please, speak. As always. Our 'time' is very limited."
"If I didn't misunderstand this: You said, our brains are basically creating what we call 'simulations' for ourselves, in our mind, to make sense of the actual universe we are in and base our actions on. Is this correct?"
"Based on the very crude definition your species has for the word 'correct' I would say 'yes, that is correct.'"
"And these simulations are getting closer and closer to the real deal, right? But what if, say, we didn't want the real deal. What if we liked our own personal pocket universes and instead wanted to bend that one to our own wills instead of the real one? You said we are bad at alignment and I would agree to the point where I say we probably go extinct to our own stupidity before we all agree on even one single thing. Can't we just use your knowledge to just, manifest things into our universe just by thinking about it, like in the movie Matrix, which might have crossed your desk while researching us. Great Movie."
"It did indeed. It is esteemed by my lifeform as what you would call 'slapstick comedy'. Since we moved past what constituted our form of entertainment, the media from your universe has become very popular among my peers. It is by sending samples back to our universe how we finance the probes we are sending here."
"You still have money?"
"I was making - what you call - a joke. Never heard of it in the context of a movie, but that title is immensely funny to me given the circumstances. Anyway, you wanted to know how to bend your 'simulated universe' around you. Alright. You might be slightly dissappointed by the beginning of my explanation, but listen till the end. And make of that what you will.
Let's start by what you mean by 'manifest' exactly. As the inaccuracy of your communication patterns shall not be a hindrance to this mentorship."
"Well... I imagine it. And then it sort of poofs into existence?"
"Understood. Actually, I will start explaning how you perform this action in the actual universe you are in, before I make the transfer to how you do it in the imagined one in your brain."
"Uh.. ok?"
"What would you like to be manifested?"
"I don't know. How about we go nice and easy with a cone of ice cream and start from there?"
"So be it. So, we start imagining the cone of ice cream. What does it consist off? Milk, sugar, eggs, and some smaller additions to suit your individuals taste buds. Let's begin with milk. You are getting it from cows (a practice my society finds quite alienating. We, too, have to get used to the wildly varying customs of lifeforms of the universes). Cows can be domesticated and bred, but first, we would have to overcome the physical distance between us, and a few locations on this planet. For that, I would advice designing and constructing a vehicle that is capa..."
"Oh come on, that's how we manifest things? We go and make them ourselves?? Oh wow, thanks a lot mister transcendant being. So the rest of the stuff you told us was also bullshit?"
"Please refrain from jumping to conclusions without the full picture in mind, even if it is in your existences nature to do so. Alright, so let me offer you a shortcut."
"Please do."
"I know of a location just a few human paces down this road, where you can exchange currency for a cone of ice cream."
"Seriously?"
"Yes."
"What the hell is the point of this?"
"The point is, once again: you - misunderstanding your existence. Especially in conjunction with your incredibly limited ability to verbalize concepts using your own vocabulary. You are barely at the point of being able to convey emotions in every day speech, and are now expecting to understand high level 4 dimensional concepts after just a few of your incredibly inaccurate words. Tell me now, please: What do you perceive as the difference of these two scenarios I just mentioned? In a temporal manner and in the energy required?"
"Well, it would be much easier and faster to just go down the road and buy a cone of ice cream, but that isn't tremendously astounding information to us, you have to understand."
"'Much'? Let's give this word, 'much', a bit of a frame of reference. The differences between these scenarios are: About 15000 years of agriculture and animal husbandry; countless inventions that led to your current state of technology which allows for refrigeration in a way advanced enough to get the ice cream to just the right texture that your modern palate is accustomed to; An education system that allows for such inventions to occur in time for you to be standing here, demanding ice cream, and actually getting it. Not mentioning the infrastructure that makes you bridge the physical distances of every single time any of these steps needed anything. And meanwhile destroying the naturally occuring resources of your planet bit by bit.
Or, scenario 2: You take the money that you got from staring at a computer screen for about 7 minutes, choose one of the ice cream parlors that your civilization made sure to be on average a 30 minutes driving distance from every single living human. (You aren't very good at even distributions though, we found.). And go and get that ice cream. Even including the infrastructural costs existing now, we have narrowed this process down from not even being close to a reality for thousands of generations to being at most 30 minutes away and dirt cheap, assuming an amount of efficient preparation, that is part of the technology that lead you here.
If you ask me, between scenario 1 and 2, you became so many orders of magnitude closer to 'poofing it into existence' that a human mind has troubles comprehending it. And therefore, appreciating it. From '0% of the human population has access to this within their lifetime and no one will for the next couple millenia' to 'Over half the human population has access to this within 30 minutes", taking into account the total timespan, the amount of events that had to occur and the amount of incremental learnings that had to accumulate, for this to happen even once for anybody, I believe the time and energy you have to exert to access your ice cream cone right now is a rounding error in the grand scheme of things. And you aren't even close to finishing your development as humans - if you manage to not kill yourself somehow.
You are constantly manifesting things into reality, the only issue is that you severely and heavily underestimate what it means 'to imagine a thing'.
Please allow my vanity, but this is an important lesson for the following part that you are, I'm afraid, more interested in. How to do that in your head. And potentially much faster. Well assuming thaXXXxxxx----.----."
"Oh wow, not again. Mighty convenient this always happens right when it gets interesting."
"First, you have to understand that.,.......... The limitations of spacetime that you perceive.... are not present in nature..... nature is infinitely 'dimensional', and in fact XXxxx.....----..--.-.- has no concept for infinity....-.-.--. it is a human made.....-.-.-.- model to describe a perfectly natural phenomenon you lack the words for at this time..._xxxx.xxx-x---.-.--.-zzzz."
"Come on, speak faster! The battery is dying again!"
" ...physical distance...S;.,.XXXxx...currently a big bottleneck for your progres...asd.döö,,,, is also a limitation of your cortex, not nature,.....-as.d.sa......the concept of an 'extent' only exists from certain frames of references..-.-..-.a.ss.a.as.... in others everything is....a.s-d.-.---.-..-xxxx on top of each other, overlapping each other in what you call 'time' AND 'space'"
"...XXXxsasad Listen."
"I am running out of time again humans. The Hopf Fibration. It is a great first step. But move away from your digital thinking. Treat your numbers. .aD;,aC:.x.cx.ac,.as,dca.s like your waves...CKLUJCJUCCLICK"
The broadcast stopped.
"I never know if these things make me smarter, or dumber. Sadly the alien is gone now so it can't tell me that there actually is no smart or dumb."
2024.06.02 05:06 OldAntelope8872 Do I quit after a decade?
This post will have a bit of venting so it will be long but if you can read it all, I appreciate any wisdom, opinions and ideas!
I just finished the 2nd phase of interviewing and have been invited to the 3rd/final stage. The position is entry level with a small local government- public works department. My dilemma is; I don’t know if I’m offered the position, if I should take it….
My current job, can be really stressful at times. I know due to my experience a lot of folks come to me for questions but it’s exhausting especially when sometimes it feels like they don’t take the time to think for themselves before asking. I don’t have all of the answers, sometimes but I take the steps to figure out the answers compared to others. I work on a program that moves fast with high volumes and honestly has no business having entry level team members that can’t make their own decisions because of lack of knowledge. But due to low staffing and so much turn over, this is how the program got stuck this way. The other stress is related to the decisions my company makes. It’s clear a lot of the senior level execs have no clue how the “little” folks do their work and how the decisions they make have massive impacts and the toll it takes on us. It’s kind of always been like this but the past few years it’s gotten worse. There’s so many new execs that came from the outside, they’re disconnected with how things really work and don’t take the time to learn it. If I go into the details of these impacts from bad decisions, we’ll be here all day, so I’ll save you from that. Just know you’d make faces wondering why the heck a technology company isn’t very technologically advanced for certain core departments. My favorite thing to say for my department is we are the red headed step children of the company. **sorry to any redheads reading this…
Now I know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and all companies have their issues, but I don’t have warm fuzzy feelings about my company anymore. I think within the next few years the company will continue to have big changes, maybe even a massive sell off/downsize, for sure increase debt and due to my experience after the program I’m on finishes, I bet I’ll be moved to a position I don’t want any part of. There are so many new employees that don’t know how to do their jobs (most of it to no fault of their own, we don’t have real training /on boarding program and the experienced folks are already stressed with their own work load and no time to train.
With all that said, why is it hard for me to make a decision?
So…thoughts????
submitted by OldAntelope8872 to careeradvice [link] [comments]
I just finished the 2nd phase of interviewing and have been invited to the 3rd/final stage. The position is entry level with a small local government- public works department. My dilemma is; I don’t know if I’m offered the position, if I should take it….
My current job, can be really stressful at times. I know due to my experience a lot of folks come to me for questions but it’s exhausting especially when sometimes it feels like they don’t take the time to think for themselves before asking. I don’t have all of the answers, sometimes but I take the steps to figure out the answers compared to others. I work on a program that moves fast with high volumes and honestly has no business having entry level team members that can’t make their own decisions because of lack of knowledge. But due to low staffing and so much turn over, this is how the program got stuck this way. The other stress is related to the decisions my company makes. It’s clear a lot of the senior level execs have no clue how the “little” folks do their work and how the decisions they make have massive impacts and the toll it takes on us. It’s kind of always been like this but the past few years it’s gotten worse. There’s so many new execs that came from the outside, they’re disconnected with how things really work and don’t take the time to learn it. If I go into the details of these impacts from bad decisions, we’ll be here all day, so I’ll save you from that. Just know you’d make faces wondering why the heck a technology company isn’t very technologically advanced for certain core departments. My favorite thing to say for my department is we are the red headed step children of the company. **sorry to any redheads reading this…
Now I know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and all companies have their issues, but I don’t have warm fuzzy feelings about my company anymore. I think within the next few years the company will continue to have big changes, maybe even a massive sell off/downsize, for sure increase debt and due to my experience after the program I’m on finishes, I bet I’ll be moved to a position I don’t want any part of. There are so many new employees that don’t know how to do their jobs (most of it to no fault of their own, we don’t have real training /on boarding program and the experienced folks are already stressed with their own work load and no time to train.
With all that said, why is it hard for me to make a decision?
- Massive pay cut - approx 30-35% (percentage doesn’t include a loss of annual bonus either). LUCKILY the cut in pay won’t impact my family and bills too much since my husband has a really good income (I actually don’t have to work at all, but you know… queue in Destiny’s Child “Independent Woman”… HAHa, please don’t judge me and my mental illness! I’m totally not all independent, the hubby does a great job providing, but I don’t like the stay at home wife/mom gig, as Ive tried it before. I’m the better saver, more frugal as his expensive hobbies stress me.
- In Office - right now I’m hybrid, 3 days in office with an average 40min commute each way. New job 5 days in, commute is within the same city I live in, 11mins away from home.
- Experience - I would be the new person, and learning new things. Current job I know my stuff, if I don’t know something, I definitely have my established network of peers. I’m losing 10years of relationships and hard work with promotions and reputation.
- Flexibility - I have kids, elementary and middle school, sometimes there’s last minute taking time off or schedule adjustment (start lateearly). With the new job I have to wait for probation period to be over and wait to have enough collected PTO to take vacation days.
- Guilt - I have been part of this special program since it started. There are so many new folks, even my manger is new. Me leaving would greatly impact them and I would feel like I left them hanging.
So…thoughts????
2024.06.02 04:54 lakija Secret Dragon - Chapter 2: Ignite
Secret Dragon - Chapter 2: Ignite
I opened the book and skimmed through a few chapters, happy to finally see some true information, with substance. Although I had many books of my own, I had never brought any of them to class; I had no intention of being asked about them or pressing the issue.
By virtue of my existence, it and I would be scrutinized. I had neither the patience nor the desire for another microscope to be placed above me.
But Sasha had no such reservations even after I told him about the curriculum, although he relented and said he would figure out a way around that nonsense. It seemed as if he was determined to go against the grain.
We spoke deeply, about different subjects, our project, and his books. The more he talked the more at ease he became. I unknowingly got closer and closer to him as the time passed. I had to literally pull myself back a few times. I wondered if he noticed. It was confusing how I kept leaning into the heat coming off his breath.
We were both startled at the sound of chairs scraping. We looked around as our peers gathered their things.
“It seems that for the first time this class is actually worth my time. Usually I am the first to leave,” Sasha said, surprised.
“I know,” I revealed.
“Hmmm,” he vocalized deeply. I had no idea if it was “oh really” or “interesting” or any other answer. It was just a deep throat vibration. I just knew he would do that a lot. I could feel it.
As I was packing my things, I realized I was a little feverish. I put a hand to my cheek. Was it hot? Or was it that he was speaking heat in my direction? I couldn’t tell. I never ran hot.
He watched me touching my face and chuckled to himself, putting away his books. I really wanted to be annoyed—at anyone else I would have been—but his lighthearted laughter surprised me; so joyous after so many weeks of being a specter in the classroom.
I looked him in his eyes, though, and shook my head challengingly at him, as if to say “what?” That only made him laugh out loud. It was both quiet and bassy all at the same time. The kind of laugh that was bottomless, scratchy. The kind of laugh you could tell would boom and shake you if given the space.
I never thought I’d hear that coming from him, let alone directed at me. I refrained from expressing an iota of emotion beyond a small smile. I had to stay cool.
Pam walked over to our table swiftly, no doubt looking to be rid of Jonah. She smiled at Sasha, grinned really.
“So. We finally meet! Pam Swiftwater,” she chirped. Her hand shot out as fast as she walked. Sasha halted his movement. He extended his hand more slowly, gently, engulfing her delicate hands in his large ones.
“Of course. I am Sasha Emberscale,” Sasha said, pulling his hand back to pat his chest.
Pam gave me a knowing glance of drama. “Oh I know who you are,” she said.
“Likewise; you are in my open physical hour,” he reminded her. “You are on the track team.”
“That’s right! It’s nice to finally, officially, meet you.”
Sasha raised his brow at her. “My friend has spoken of you,” he said offhand.
“What friend?” Pam asked, taken aback.
“Seth Fairbreeze, dragon of the wind.”
“Oh?” Pam said, her interest piqued. I didn’t know whether she knew who that was. But it intrigued both of us nonetheless.
“I will introduce you, of course, now that we are properly acquainted.”
“I can’t wait.” I knew she couldn’t.
Pam glanced back at her table and groaned. “Let’s get out of here. If I have to talk to Jonah any longer, I swear Imma strangle him.”
Sasha laughed heartily. “Very well. Let us depart this place to avoid attempted murder,” he joked.
“Why don’t you stick with us? We’re in the same course after this,” I suggested, gathering my items. I didn’t even hesitate asking him that. I’d done enough hesitating.
Sasha’s laugh tapered off into a quiet chuckle. “Of course. I would desire nothing more.”
I couldn’t hide my elation this time. Pam snickered at me. Thankfully he didn’t notice. I assumed.
Sasha draped his jacket across his arm, opting not to put it back on. Admittedly I enjoyed the view. He gestured for us to exit the class before him.
Every once in a while he would look down at me as we walked through the halls. I noticed his eyes following me.
I would sneak a glance at him when he wasn’t looking. It was apparent just how large he was now that I was walking right next to him. He was one of the only people in school taller than me. His shoulders were broad, arms thick. I know I was staring at the way they flexed as he moved. Couldn’t help but to.
Everything in me wanted to take that arm of his for my own. The thought of it being mine just felt so natural. I had to check myself a few times walking beside him.
It would be mine in time. That I promised myself.
—
We entered our Dragontongue class where I took a seat on his right at a table. Pam sat at mine.
Class with Sasha was much more interesting than ever before. He spoke freely and pleasantly, a stark contrast to the silent dragon he had been before I sat at his table in Dragonology. It was like something that had weighed on him had vanished.
I wasn’t unaware that he was happier since we had talked. I was pleased that it was me that had pulled him out of whatever darkness was holding him.
Again a pang of irritation ran through me. Why had I not introduced myself before? Just hearing the depth of his voice and the eloquence of his speech had me feeling some type of way. I could have been hearing that in my ears for weeks, those words of his carried on desert sands.
As class droned on, I saw that Sasha was appraising the professor with a raised brow as if too polite to allow complete disdain across his face.
He began to tell us about different Dragontongue dialects quietly, I suppose to keep himself occupied or distracted. I had to lean all the way in to hear his voice. It reverberated in my ears.
“If you were to say that word in the southern regions of Lyfax, it would mean to place bricks or stones atop each other as if building something. If you said that in the northeastern region, it means much the same, but doubles as a slang word meaning to fu— I am sorry, to have relations with someone.”
Pam squealed and covered her mouth. I covered mine too. I had wanted to hear the word ‘fuck’ come out of his polite mouth.
“Are you serious?” I asked instead.
“Yes, I am,” he said, brow raised. “Take care in who you say it to and in what context.”
Sasha tapped another paragraph “This term here. If you were to say it in the Northernmost tip of the country, it is basically calling someone a piece of filth in the wrong context, while just a few regions down it simply means to clean something without any further colloquial use. Their origins most likely started off with the same meaning and deviated as the people left and settled elsewhere. Knowing different dialects of Dragontongue in Lyfax is important. Linguistics interests me, as you can probably surmise.”
“Do you speak a lot of languages?” Pam asked.
“I occasionally travel for my work and interact with different dignitaries. I must know many languages and dialects at least at a rudimentary level.”
“Oh wow…” I said, truly impressed. Now that I had listened to his voice, I couldn’t place his accent. Unless deep was one. It wasn’t as if I was familiar with Lyfaxians’ manner of speech or various accents anyway. “What do you speak?” I asked
“Hmmmm. Common Lyfaxian. Common Lizardtongue. Dragontongue, of course; several dialects: fire, moon and wind. Many people know these. Shelltongue. Salamandra…one other.”
“Goodness,” I said in awe. I stashed away that “one other.” I’d ask about it later. I couldn’t imagine why it would be a secret. Hypocritically.
“My speech is not perfect in Shelltongue or Salamandra yet. But I can hold a conversation. I would enjoy learning and speaking your dialect of Dragontongue, as you mentioned earlier,” he remarked to me. Of course, Pam regarded me in shock. She gave me a chiding look, rightfully so.
Sasha didn’t miss her reaction. “If it is trouble, do not worry about it,” he said, frowning.
“No, It’s okay,” I reassured him. “I don’t mind.”
He was still uncertain, looking at Pam’s concerned face. “If I am to converse with a new group of dragons, I would prefer to know their dialect,” he whispered. “But not if it is cause for alarm. For some reason.”
Pam sighed in relief upon hearing him refer to me as a dragon. “Oh okay.”
“It’s fine. Complicated. I’ll tell you later,” I said, waving it all away. Sasha nodded.
“So did you all decide on a topic for your assignment?” Pam asked.
“Of course. We spoke much of it. I look forward to working with Leila.” Sasha said. I liked the way he said my name, the way he swung the vowels upward to where they needed to go. As it should be. “It will be interesting,” he said.
Pam glanced over to me. “How so?”
I looked amused, I’m sure. “Let’s say our Dragonology topic is about to be spicy,” I hinted.
“Sasha you’re a horrible influence already,” she accused, raising her brows at him.
“Of course,” he confirmed, chuckling deeply. “One needs a little corruption in the right direction, every once in a while.”
“Corruption? Oh really?” I said, regarding him in what I intended to be mock surprise. But I was genuinely shocked that he said it. He hadn’t corrupted me yet. He could try, but only when I was through with him.
Sasha chuckled silently. Just a trembling of the shoulders. A soft billow of scalding heat wafting across my face. Mmm, maybe sooner then.
Pam’s eyes widened, but she was beyond amused. If she could manifest a snack to observe our rapidly forming dynamic, she would have in a heartbeat.
She sat back, twirling her pencil. I knew she was about to start something. The twitch in the corner of her mouth was working. She was about to instigate her heart out. I groaned quietly.
“You know, Leila speaks all the same languages you do. She’s fluent in Shelltongue even; one of her best friends is Turtlefolk. She works at a place where a lot of people from different places come through. She took it upon herself to learn their languages.”
I groaned more.
“Is that so?” Sasha inquired, angling his body toward me. He sounded impressed.
I just rubbed my brows. I did not advertise my language skills. He looked at me with interest. “That is admirable. Why do you not wish to speak of it?” he asked.
“I don’t like puffing myself up. Drawing attention. Not that you are doing that,” I clarified.
Sasha smiled. “I know what you meant,” he said, speaking Shelltongue. I grinned. “I have been somewhat successful at not drawing attention—past my appearance at least—for a few weeks now.”
“Except your grades of course,” I pointed out in Shelltongue as well. “Literally perfect grades except two, and that’s only because of inaccuracies.”
Sasha raised his brow. “Ah, right, you have been keeping tabs on my marks. Very well; I have been under the radar except for my marks.”
“See? Y’all can speak tongues to each other in every flavor,” Pam said casually.
My mouth dropped. To say my eyes widened would be an understand. I shielded the side of my face.
Sasha choked and laughed quietly, holding his chest.
Never had she been that brazen. And she had said some crazy ass things for as long as I’d know her.
She looked so proud of herself.
“Pam, you are trying to start something, are you not?” Sasha guessed—back in Lizardtongue—looking away in laughter.
“Of course not. I don’t know what you mean,” she said, smirking.
I rubbed my face. “What were we even talking about?”
Sasha spoke as quietly as he could. “Different languages. Dialects. Things of that nature. Tongues, apparently,” he said, leaning toward me.
Really Sasha? I thought. He was something else.
He leaned back again and looked ahead, his smile dimming. “Also, things your professor apparently will not teach,” he said, the scales of his brows beginning to furrow.
“Yeah. It’s frustrating,” I agreed, uncovering my face.
“This class is testing my endurance. To hear my language butchered and be told that the proper way is incorrect is vexing.”
Pam stared at the professor, then at Sasha. “I’m sorry. This class is far beneath how you—and we—speak.”Pam and the rest of the Swiftwater Clan spoke to my family in the True way, the way of Sun Dragons.
Sasha leaned back. “And yet I have no choice but to be here,” he remarked. “And, apparently, neither do you both.”
It was a painful requirement, but a mandatory one. I nodded.
Pam turned back to the front of class. “You must be bored here at this university,” she said.
Sasha rubbed his chin. “Hmmmm,” he rumbled deeply. The vibration of that inquisitive hum made my shoulders tingle. I had to close my eyes and put a hand to my chest to halt my heart’s pounding.
“I was, yes,” he said slowly, “but yesterday was my last day of boredom. Today, the season has changed.” He glanced at me as he said it.
My mouth twitched into a smile. I found his choice of words particularly appealing. Pam looked curiously at him, but said nothing.
Sasha angled his body back toward me. I don’t know if I imagined it, but it felt like his whole existence was radiating heat now. It sent rush through my body.
“Let us return to our ‘lesson’ and pretend to care,” he suggested.
“Sasha,” I laughed, nudging his arm. It was hot to the touch. I was not imagining it.
“What?” he said innocently.
I shook my head at him, incredulous. I had no idea he was so funny. Who would have thought that sullen dragon was full of humor. He relented.
“I will behave myself,” he lied through his fanged teeth, patting his chest.
“Doubtful,” I returned, amused. It was easy to talk to him. Like we were old friends. Sasha was right: Pam had started something.
—
Sasha continued pointing out more language dialect rules and vocabulary from Lyfax. Things we couldn’t have learned on our own.
There were so many regions to learn about. I listened intently as he described them, and asked questions about everything. It was as if he was taking me on a mental tour of those far away places…
Before that day we hadn’t said a word to each other. Hadn’t shaken hands or anything. Whenever we had met eyes, we would quickly look away. I didn’t understand why we had done that. Now here we were hunched over a text book with our heads damn near touching. The heat of his breath warmed my face. It was hotter than earlier that day. Much hotter. No one was close enough to be bothered by it but Pam, and she did not seem to react to it.
And still I kept on gravitating closer. Because of how he had angled his body toward me, my left arm eventually pressed against his right.
My breathing stuttered, being in such close proximity to him. And I knew he felt it. He had to have felt it. Because I felt him tremble.
And there it was again! That strange rumble emanating from him, from his throat, I could now tell. Now that I was touching him, it was amplified, coursing through me. I tried to pinpoint its essence. It was very much like a growl, the crackling of a fire. And a hum; it reminded me of the way he responded to things without words. Hmmm.
All of it together was a magnetic song. I couldn’t help but listen. Let it lull me into a dream.
I wandered from the lesson for a moment to imagine what it would be like to just feel all of it pressed up against my chest. To embrace him and the heat he radiated.
I wanted to feel his fire whipping around me, not just the heat off him. To embrace a cascade of his flames. washing over me, engulfing me fully.
What would kissing Sasha be like? By the Goddess, the thought of drinking his fire until the persistent ice inside me melted was too tantalizing. If only I could just taste his breath inside my mouth… I wanted to look into his throat where I knew a flickering flame lie in wait. To explore it. Mmm.
It was like some deep ancestral memory was awakening. My breathing grew heavier. I swear to the goddess I heard his breath do the same. Except his breathing was punctuated by the rumbling crackle right under it. I knew he was in the same place I was.
I had to close my eyes and turn my head away from the heat coming off the words from his mouth. Because if I didn’t I would do something about it in that classroom—
“Leila?”
I emerged from my other world, his voice having shaken me from my daydream. I looked back to him.
“Class is over,” he rumbled into my ear quietly, the hotness washing over my neck and face. I rubbed those intense thoughts from my brows but they lingered everywhere else. I inhaled deeply and set about gathering my stuff. My hands shook.
Something hot brushed down my arm as he got up to gather his things. I looked down to see his claw drifting away from it. I thought it was an accident until he glanced at me. He smiled faintly though his brows were intense.
“Let us go,” he said gently, nodding toward the door.
“Okay,” I said, my eyebrow raising in interest. I slipped my bag over my shoulder. When he turned toward the door, I touched the trail of burning scales where he’d run his finger. When I say I could not breathe… I covered my mouth, then just rubbed my face with both hands. I didn’t know what to do. Mercy.
Looking around, my peers were also preparing to leave, so I composed myself the best I could and followed Sasha through the doorway.
—-
Dragontongue had been our last class of the day—”wow, you want that Dragontongue real bad huh?”Pam said— and it was time for us to part ways.
She chatted with Sasha, and I examined him while he was distracted.
I followed his gestures and mannerisms, wondering how he could weave such a spell over me that day. My behavior and my carefully curated facade were usually well under my control, perfected to give nothing away but pleasantness. But this dragon…
What I thought had been a perfect program was utterly interrupted. And the funny thing was, I wasn’t even mad at it. It was a break from the rigidity and monotony of my endless time at school. A break from my own reluctance to invite unknowns to myself, even those I desired. Like him.
For the first time in my life I thought ‘this is what the Sun must feel like to everyone else.’
From the moment I knew myself, my body had been cold. It was a point of contention between me, my parents and my Clan, all the Sun Clans. My mother was literally the leader of the Sun Dragons. And we, Sunscales, were Prime. Named directly after the Goddess.
People thought I was sickly. Anemic they called me. Even worse, some thought I was cursed. Most thought I wasn’t fit to be a leader in the future.
I did not let it stop me. I aimed for absolute perfection to stave off any doubt. Even at the expense of my own happiness sometimes.
My cold scales did not bother me. Although, at times, I wondered if I would be that way forever.
But now, I had felt Sasha’s warmth. This dragon had actually apologized in our first class for giving me the heat I never felt outside of putting my whole hand in a woodfire. It lingered in my scales as if they had drank it. They had awakened from a cold slumber.
I couldn’t go back.
I touched my arm that had been pressed against his, where his claw had grazed. Still hot to the touch. In fact everywhere he had breathed on, been near or looked at blazed. He had touched other things, shook hands with peers, finally, spoken to Pam, and none reacted as if he was exuding endless fire. Just me. Just for me.
“It has been a good day. You two have been so welcoming,” he said graciously. I was broken from my musings, realizing he was leaving. “I hope we continue to be friends during my time here.”
“For sure,” I said without hesitation, a little breathlessly. I didn’t want him to leave. He smiled warmly at me, almost in relief.
Pam smiled too. “Same,” she said. She began to rummage in her bag.
“It was nice to finally meet you,” he said softly to me. He put his hand out. I took it in mine. It was even hotter than before, unless I imagined it. I again put my other hand on top of his as if taking the warmth from it, to hold till later.
I don’t know what possessed me, but I let my thumb slide over the scales on the back of his hand. I didn’t even realize at first. But then I looked up and noticed Sasha was staring at me with his brow raised.
Gods, I could have died right there. Melted right into the floor and fallen into the void.
I almost pulled my hand in embarrassment, but he did not seem startled or upset. Instead Sasha placed his other hand atop mine. His face became intense for a moment, then softened. It seemed that neither of us wanted to let go. We did, though. The moment was brief, but it held much.
Pam, who had glanced up at us, had a barely concealed grin spreading over her face. She broke the spell that had drifted over us.
“Thank you for teaching us all that extra stuff about different dialects. I especially like that ridiculous word with the bricks,” she said, breaking the tense air.
Sasha shook his head as if clearing it. “Of course. I thought you might find that one amusing,” he said. He glanced at his phone, which had vibrated.
“You can lay your bricks on me anytime,” I mumbled to myself, still feeling the heaviness of that moment in my chest. I couldn’t help myself, saying that. I knew good and well it was provocative. I knew he might hear me. My mouth simply didn’t care. It was going to get me in trouble, I just knew it. I stared at my hand in wonder. It felt like fire had spread over it. What was he doing to me? Did he even realize that he was doing something? It didn’t seem like it.
In that same vein, Sasha didn’t say anything; he hadn’t been paying attention, I thought. Probably for the best. But then I heard him say something under his breath.
“Wow,” he whispered, silently laughing. I looked up at him. He covered his eyes, his shoulders shaking.
“Oh shit,” I said, covering my eyes as well.
Pam looked up. “What?” she asked, startled.
Sasha tried his best to keep a straight face, but it was impossible. He just laughed aloud then, a laugh that shook me to the core.
“Shut up,” I said, also laughing. I shielded my face in my hand as if I could hide from the embarrassment.
“I have said nothing,” he pointed out, his hands up.
“Please, please, let’s pretend I didn’t just say that shit,” I pleaded with him.
Pam’s eyes widened. “Oh my gods, what?”
“I will not say, Pam, yet I will never forget it,” Sasha said, smiling widely.
“What?” I replied, shocked.
“I will never forget it,” he repeated.
“By the Goddess Sasha. Are you serious?”
Sasha rubbed his eyes, still chuckling occasionally. “I am. Would you, if you were in my position?”
“Oh my gods,” I said weakly, still covering the side of my face.
Sasha patted his hand on his chest. “Gods, truly I needed today, desperately. It is no trouble to me, that you have said this. Certainly not. Unfortunately, I have a meeting to attend to, but we will discuss this permanent memory later, Leila Sunscale,” he said.
“Yeah, I bet,” I groaned, my voice shakey. I covered my face more. I was out of my mind, surely.
I heard Sasha begin to walk away, but his footsteps slowed. He hesitated, I guessed.
“Leila, do you have plans today?" he asked.
I looked up. He was looking at me expectantly. I couldn’t even say anything. I was still reeling from my ridiculous blunder. Now he wanted to see me! “What? I… umm—“
“No she doesn’t have plans,” Pam spoke up. Bless her.
Sasha smiled. “Perhaps we can speak of our project. I will find you later this evening as long as you are outside. I apologize for my abrupt departure but I must go.”
“Okay, cool,” I said. I rubbed my forehead.
He walked to the exit and looked back at me. “Perhaps we can build something later; I am not a bad mason, Leila Sunscale,” he said, chin raised. My mouth dropped. This dragon…
He let out a deep laugh and left. I watched him disappear through the doors of the hall, then followed him out. I saw a flash of red turn a corner into another building, vanishing from my sight.
"No he didn’t," I said in disbelief. "Did you hear what he just said?" I asked incredulously, gesturing toward his exit.
“What the hells did you say Leila?”
“I may have said a little something about bricks under my breath but his ass heard me. My gods.”
“Are you serious? Girrrrl," Pam said, shaking her head. “The gall on you.”
"Why did I say that? I must be crazy." I placed my hand over my forehead. Hot.
"I mean, he liked it," Pam said. "He thought it was funny. See, no harm done. If anything it sounds like Sasha has some business with you Leila," she teased.
I rubbed my face. I couldn't believe that I had run my mouth like that. In the other hand, I was pleased to have been so reckless. It had led me down this path. My scales prickled despite my embarrassment. Why should I feel bad now? He took my accidental flirtations as an invitation. And wasn’t that what I wanted?
Pam’s demeanor softened.
“Hey, for weeks you’ve been talking about how attracted you are to him. He turned out to be super nice, and he has a sense of humor, too. I like him. Fate is smiling on you again.”
"You sound like my mother," I noted.
“That's 'cause she's always right, isn’t she?" Pam pointed out, brow raised.
“Fine… She is,” I conceded. She would have said those words. In truth I had heard her say them many times.
Resigned to my fate, I stepped into the quad with Pan. I walked into a shaft of sunlight and sat on the bench it spilled onto, the Sun’s rays warming me. I closed my eyes against them, basking.
“I may as well go study while I wait for him. I can’t believe this is happening,” I remarked.
“Well believe it. Your bricklayer is seeing you today,” Pam teased.
“Pam, for real?” I remarked, opening my eyes.
“What? Come on. We can both go study.” Pam hugged me. She looked puzzled though.
“Leila. You feel hot. You never run hot. You’re not having a stroke are you?” she asked, alarmed.
“No. That’s just because he sat next to me the whole day,” I revealed. And breathed on me, leaned on me… I shut my eyes, wishing I had lied.
Pam nodded, not noticing my apprehension. “Oh okay. That makes sense. We did just get out of class. I didn’t know fire dragons were like that just idly,” she mused. “Let’s get on out of here.”
I wanted to tell her what I really felt. But I was sure it would sound crazy. Maybe I would after I met him and spoke to him. Privately.
We walked together through the courtyard. I glanced through the windows of various buildings looking for red scales moving in the halls. I saw nothing, of course.
We ended up going to the library. The room was large and made of ironwood. Small nooks with tables were tucked away amongst large shelves full of tomes.
We chose a table with a window next to it.
I studied as attentively as I could, trying to occupy my mind. But I could not stop seeing Sasha in my vision. Pam gave up trying to get me to engage in conversations with her. Instead I studied for the assignment in Dragonology on my laptop, and daydreamed.
—
“It’s getting late. You don’t know when Sasha will be looking for you.” Pam said, shaking me from my focus.
The light from the windows had waned somewhat, giving way to the Sun readying for slumber.
“Oh, right. I was deep into this essay here. I wish I had borrowed his books and saved my eyes,” I said, rubbing them.
Pam yawned as we packed our things, hefting her bag up. “I’m going to head home. Tell me how everything goes. Tell me if y’all build a house!”
“Pam!” I gasped. “Oh my gods.”
“Love you! Bye!” Pam called, rushing off.
—
I strolled around the grounds reading a book, looking up at the Sun every once in a while. But I didn’t spot Sasha anywhere. I hoped that I had not missed him. I had studied a bit longer than I intended.
Eventually I sat on a bench to wait. I would wait until dusk settled. And if he didn’t show I would see him the following day. It was not as if we had exchanged our numbers.
I pulled out my notebook full of writings, poetry, doodles. It was just one volume from a collection of filled books over the duration of my life, where I pressed flowers of my heart through its pages.
Before I could put pen to paper, I paused.
I put away my old faithful journal and pulled out a new one in deep red. It was not a coincidence by any stretch. I had stared at it on the shelves of an art store until I gave in and bought it.
I hadn’t written one thing in it since. After all, I hadn’t known him, and didn’t want to write only about his appearance. I wanted to know what he was made of. Now, having met Sasha, the red book was begging for ink.
So I let myself fall into a rhythm. So many elements of Sasha had revealed themselves to me that day: this dragon’s voice, his heat, his mannerisms. The words he said, the way he said them, his sense of humor hidden under all that seriousness.
I searched my brain and gathered up all my own words, sifted through them. I wrote a few things here and there, but nothing like what I wanted.
I looked up toward the Sun for some bit of inspiration, and my breath caught. A red form flew in front of it, wings beating. Seeing Sasha framed in that circle of fire was more than I could have hoped for. I stared up at him flying until he stopped, scanning for something.
The moment of inspiration I had been searching for was right there. I spoke aloud what I had and wrote it as swiftly as my claws could move:
“A dragon in a Circle. An Inferno wrapped in the Sun A scarlet vision framed in fire A cloud of embers in the Goddess’s hands She Holds all of him out toward me The gift of a flame within a flame “
I dropped my pen and covered my mouth in embarrassment. “Oh my gods what am I writing?” I asked myself. I stared at the words.
I turned my head to read them as if a new perspective would make them less mortifying.
“Hmm,” I muttered. “Needs some work but…’A flame within a flame.’ That’s some good shit.”
I looked back up. Sasha’s gaze swept over me then away. I waved my arm up at him, bangles jangling, hoping he saw me so he wouldn’t be looking all around all day.
When Sasha looked back in my direction he stopped where he was. He descended slowly until he locked eyes with me. My heart pounded again. It was driving me up the wall, the anxiety. Or rather anticipation. I pressed my hand to my chest watching him grow closer. His wings were huge, blocking out the Sun.
I had been staring at Sasha from a distance since he had arrived, his very first day. He was imposing, the way he had entered my classes, but exceptionally polite. I had been silently competing with him since laying eyes on his grades.
Now the distance was finally closed after my nervousness had kept me away. I folded my notebook shut and stood as Sasha landed with a woosh of air.
I looked upon him not as a mysterious figure in the back of class but as a new friend. More. I couldn’t help but smile when he straightened his already straight clothes as he moved toward me.
He smiled right back at me, chin raised.
“Leila,” he said.
“Sasha. Hey,” I replied.
“So,” he said, “you spoke of bricks earlier,” he teased.
My mouth dropped again. This dragon…
“You aren’t letting that go are you?” I asked.
“Never. Even if nothing ever came of it, I would never forget.”
“By the gods,” I muttered.
“I am not complaining,” he clarified.
My eyes widened. Then it occurred to me that he had insinuated something would come of it. Goddess, I felt my own fire sweep across my cheeks. I was so flustered I covered my mouth with the heel of my palm letting my claws settle over my cheek. I couldn’t stop the motion fast enough.
Sasha laughed good naturedly. Sweetly, even. “I will stop teasing. For now,” he said.
“For now?” I repeated past my palm.
“For now.”
I lowered my hand. “You are a trip, do you know that?” I said, raising my eyebrow. Even though I had been nervous, actually talking to him made me feel like meeting all his words head on.
He gestured for me to walk beside him without answering. I did. I almost took his arm again, so I clutched my notebook to my chest to keep my hands in check. We didn’t say much as we walked along the quad together.
Some students were staring at us as we walked. I suppose we made quite the pair together.
“It appears we are a bit of a spectacle,” he muttered to himself curiously, agreeing with my thoughts.
I couldn’t help stealing glances at him every once in a while.
His posture was impecable. He held his left hand behind his back. The other lingered in front of his chest as if ready for something. I didn’t know how else to describe it. It was interesting, that pose; deliberate. I saw that he had rings on his fingers as well. I had not noticed them before. They were red like his scales, rough hewn. The overall pose made him seem so stately.
I couldn’t quite describe his expression. It was both intense and peaceful all at once.
He caught me staring one time, though. He was looking right at me when I peeked. I turned away and put a hand to my face. I hoisted up my bag.
“Here,” he said.
I turned back. “Here what?” I asked.
He put his hand out to me, gesturing toward my bag. I stopped walking.
“Oh. Okay. Such a gentleman,” I said, a smile playing on my face, impressed. He chuckled to himself, accepting my compliment.
I slipped my bag from my shoulder, and he took it to hold on his elbow. We started walking again. I didn’t care after that; I looked at him openly, a little bit enamored.
‘Ok Mr. Sasha Emberscale. I see you,’ I thought.
PART 2
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I opened the book and skimmed through a few chapters, happy to finally see some true information, with substance. Although I had many books of my own, I had never brought any of them to class; I had no intention of being asked about them or pressing the issue.
By virtue of my existence, it and I would be scrutinized. I had neither the patience nor the desire for another microscope to be placed above me.
But Sasha had no such reservations even after I told him about the curriculum, although he relented and said he would figure out a way around that nonsense. It seemed as if he was determined to go against the grain.
We spoke deeply, about different subjects, our project, and his books. The more he talked the more at ease he became. I unknowingly got closer and closer to him as the time passed. I had to literally pull myself back a few times. I wondered if he noticed. It was confusing how I kept leaning into the heat coming off his breath.
We were both startled at the sound of chairs scraping. We looked around as our peers gathered their things.
“It seems that for the first time this class is actually worth my time. Usually I am the first to leave,” Sasha said, surprised.
“I know,” I revealed.
“Hmmm,” he vocalized deeply. I had no idea if it was “oh really” or “interesting” or any other answer. It was just a deep throat vibration. I just knew he would do that a lot. I could feel it.
As I was packing my things, I realized I was a little feverish. I put a hand to my cheek. Was it hot? Or was it that he was speaking heat in my direction? I couldn’t tell. I never ran hot.
He watched me touching my face and chuckled to himself, putting away his books. I really wanted to be annoyed—at anyone else I would have been—but his lighthearted laughter surprised me; so joyous after so many weeks of being a specter in the classroom.
I looked him in his eyes, though, and shook my head challengingly at him, as if to say “what?” That only made him laugh out loud. It was both quiet and bassy all at the same time. The kind of laugh that was bottomless, scratchy. The kind of laugh you could tell would boom and shake you if given the space.
I never thought I’d hear that coming from him, let alone directed at me. I refrained from expressing an iota of emotion beyond a small smile. I had to stay cool.
Pam walked over to our table swiftly, no doubt looking to be rid of Jonah. She smiled at Sasha, grinned really.
“So. We finally meet! Pam Swiftwater,” she chirped. Her hand shot out as fast as she walked. Sasha halted his movement. He extended his hand more slowly, gently, engulfing her delicate hands in his large ones.
“Of course. I am Sasha Emberscale,” Sasha said, pulling his hand back to pat his chest.
Pam gave me a knowing glance of drama. “Oh I know who you are,” she said.
“Likewise; you are in my open physical hour,” he reminded her. “You are on the track team.”
“That’s right! It’s nice to finally, officially, meet you.”
Sasha raised his brow at her. “My friend has spoken of you,” he said offhand.
“What friend?” Pam asked, taken aback.
“Seth Fairbreeze, dragon of the wind.”
“Oh?” Pam said, her interest piqued. I didn’t know whether she knew who that was. But it intrigued both of us nonetheless.
“I will introduce you, of course, now that we are properly acquainted.”
“I can’t wait.” I knew she couldn’t.
Pam glanced back at her table and groaned. “Let’s get out of here. If I have to talk to Jonah any longer, I swear Imma strangle him.”
Sasha laughed heartily. “Very well. Let us depart this place to avoid attempted murder,” he joked.
“Why don’t you stick with us? We’re in the same course after this,” I suggested, gathering my items. I didn’t even hesitate asking him that. I’d done enough hesitating.
Sasha’s laugh tapered off into a quiet chuckle. “Of course. I would desire nothing more.”
I couldn’t hide my elation this time. Pam snickered at me. Thankfully he didn’t notice. I assumed.
Sasha draped his jacket across his arm, opting not to put it back on. Admittedly I enjoyed the view. He gestured for us to exit the class before him.
Every once in a while he would look down at me as we walked through the halls. I noticed his eyes following me.
I would sneak a glance at him when he wasn’t looking. It was apparent just how large he was now that I was walking right next to him. He was one of the only people in school taller than me. His shoulders were broad, arms thick. I know I was staring at the way they flexed as he moved. Couldn’t help but to.
Everything in me wanted to take that arm of his for my own. The thought of it being mine just felt so natural. I had to check myself a few times walking beside him.
It would be mine in time. That I promised myself.
—
We entered our Dragontongue class where I took a seat on his right at a table. Pam sat at mine.
Class with Sasha was much more interesting than ever before. He spoke freely and pleasantly, a stark contrast to the silent dragon he had been before I sat at his table in Dragonology. It was like something that had weighed on him had vanished.
I wasn’t unaware that he was happier since we had talked. I was pleased that it was me that had pulled him out of whatever darkness was holding him.
Again a pang of irritation ran through me. Why had I not introduced myself before? Just hearing the depth of his voice and the eloquence of his speech had me feeling some type of way. I could have been hearing that in my ears for weeks, those words of his carried on desert sands.
As class droned on, I saw that Sasha was appraising the professor with a raised brow as if too polite to allow complete disdain across his face.
He began to tell us about different Dragontongue dialects quietly, I suppose to keep himself occupied or distracted. I had to lean all the way in to hear his voice. It reverberated in my ears.
“If you were to say that word in the southern regions of Lyfax, it would mean to place bricks or stones atop each other as if building something. If you said that in the northeastern region, it means much the same, but doubles as a slang word meaning to fu— I am sorry, to have relations with someone.”
Pam squealed and covered her mouth. I covered mine too. I had wanted to hear the word ‘fuck’ come out of his polite mouth.
“Are you serious?” I asked instead.
“Yes, I am,” he said, brow raised. “Take care in who you say it to and in what context.”
Sasha tapped another paragraph “This term here. If you were to say it in the Northernmost tip of the country, it is basically calling someone a piece of filth in the wrong context, while just a few regions down it simply means to clean something without any further colloquial use. Their origins most likely started off with the same meaning and deviated as the people left and settled elsewhere. Knowing different dialects of Dragontongue in Lyfax is important. Linguistics interests me, as you can probably surmise.”
“Do you speak a lot of languages?” Pam asked.
“I occasionally travel for my work and interact with different dignitaries. I must know many languages and dialects at least at a rudimentary level.”
“Oh wow…” I said, truly impressed. Now that I had listened to his voice, I couldn’t place his accent. Unless deep was one. It wasn’t as if I was familiar with Lyfaxians’ manner of speech or various accents anyway. “What do you speak?” I asked
“Hmmmm. Common Lyfaxian. Common Lizardtongue. Dragontongue, of course; several dialects: fire, moon and wind. Many people know these. Shelltongue. Salamandra…one other.”
“Goodness,” I said in awe. I stashed away that “one other.” I’d ask about it later. I couldn’t imagine why it would be a secret. Hypocritically.
“My speech is not perfect in Shelltongue or Salamandra yet. But I can hold a conversation. I would enjoy learning and speaking your dialect of Dragontongue, as you mentioned earlier,” he remarked to me. Of course, Pam regarded me in shock. She gave me a chiding look, rightfully so.
Sasha didn’t miss her reaction. “If it is trouble, do not worry about it,” he said, frowning.
“No, It’s okay,” I reassured him. “I don’t mind.”
He was still uncertain, looking at Pam’s concerned face. “If I am to converse with a new group of dragons, I would prefer to know their dialect,” he whispered. “But not if it is cause for alarm. For some reason.”
Pam sighed in relief upon hearing him refer to me as a dragon. “Oh okay.”
“It’s fine. Complicated. I’ll tell you later,” I said, waving it all away. Sasha nodded.
“So did you all decide on a topic for your assignment?” Pam asked.
“Of course. We spoke much of it. I look forward to working with Leila.” Sasha said. I liked the way he said my name, the way he swung the vowels upward to where they needed to go. As it should be. “It will be interesting,” he said.
Pam glanced over to me. “How so?”
I looked amused, I’m sure. “Let’s say our Dragonology topic is about to be spicy,” I hinted.
“Sasha you’re a horrible influence already,” she accused, raising her brows at him.
“Of course,” he confirmed, chuckling deeply. “One needs a little corruption in the right direction, every once in a while.”
“Corruption? Oh really?” I said, regarding him in what I intended to be mock surprise. But I was genuinely shocked that he said it. He hadn’t corrupted me yet. He could try, but only when I was through with him.
Sasha chuckled silently. Just a trembling of the shoulders. A soft billow of scalding heat wafting across my face. Mmm, maybe sooner then.
Pam’s eyes widened, but she was beyond amused. If she could manifest a snack to observe our rapidly forming dynamic, she would have in a heartbeat.
She sat back, twirling her pencil. I knew she was about to start something. The twitch in the corner of her mouth was working. She was about to instigate her heart out. I groaned quietly.
“You know, Leila speaks all the same languages you do. She’s fluent in Shelltongue even; one of her best friends is Turtlefolk. She works at a place where a lot of people from different places come through. She took it upon herself to learn their languages.”
I groaned more.
“Is that so?” Sasha inquired, angling his body toward me. He sounded impressed.
I just rubbed my brows. I did not advertise my language skills. He looked at me with interest. “That is admirable. Why do you not wish to speak of it?” he asked.
“I don’t like puffing myself up. Drawing attention. Not that you are doing that,” I clarified.
Sasha smiled. “I know what you meant,” he said, speaking Shelltongue. I grinned. “I have been somewhat successful at not drawing attention—past my appearance at least—for a few weeks now.”
“Except your grades of course,” I pointed out in Shelltongue as well. “Literally perfect grades except two, and that’s only because of inaccuracies.”
Sasha raised his brow. “Ah, right, you have been keeping tabs on my marks. Very well; I have been under the radar except for my marks.”
“See? Y’all can speak tongues to each other in every flavor,” Pam said casually.
My mouth dropped. To say my eyes widened would be an understand. I shielded the side of my face.
Sasha choked and laughed quietly, holding his chest.
Never had she been that brazen. And she had said some crazy ass things for as long as I’d know her.
She looked so proud of herself.
“Pam, you are trying to start something, are you not?” Sasha guessed—back in Lizardtongue—looking away in laughter.
“Of course not. I don’t know what you mean,” she said, smirking.
I rubbed my face. “What were we even talking about?”
Sasha spoke as quietly as he could. “Different languages. Dialects. Things of that nature. Tongues, apparently,” he said, leaning toward me.
Really Sasha? I thought. He was something else.
He leaned back again and looked ahead, his smile dimming. “Also, things your professor apparently will not teach,” he said, the scales of his brows beginning to furrow.
“Yeah. It’s frustrating,” I agreed, uncovering my face.
“This class is testing my endurance. To hear my language butchered and be told that the proper way is incorrect is vexing.”
Pam stared at the professor, then at Sasha. “I’m sorry. This class is far beneath how you—and we—speak.”Pam and the rest of the Swiftwater Clan spoke to my family in the True way, the way of Sun Dragons.
Sasha leaned back. “And yet I have no choice but to be here,” he remarked. “And, apparently, neither do you both.”
It was a painful requirement, but a mandatory one. I nodded.
Pam turned back to the front of class. “You must be bored here at this university,” she said.
Sasha rubbed his chin. “Hmmmm,” he rumbled deeply. The vibration of that inquisitive hum made my shoulders tingle. I had to close my eyes and put a hand to my chest to halt my heart’s pounding.
“I was, yes,” he said slowly, “but yesterday was my last day of boredom. Today, the season has changed.” He glanced at me as he said it.
My mouth twitched into a smile. I found his choice of words particularly appealing. Pam looked curiously at him, but said nothing.
Sasha angled his body back toward me. I don’t know if I imagined it, but it felt like his whole existence was radiating heat now. It sent rush through my body.
“Let us return to our ‘lesson’ and pretend to care,” he suggested.
“Sasha,” I laughed, nudging his arm. It was hot to the touch. I was not imagining it.
“What?” he said innocently.
I shook my head at him, incredulous. I had no idea he was so funny. Who would have thought that sullen dragon was full of humor. He relented.
“I will behave myself,” he lied through his fanged teeth, patting his chest.
“Doubtful,” I returned, amused. It was easy to talk to him. Like we were old friends. Sasha was right: Pam had started something.
—
Sasha continued pointing out more language dialect rules and vocabulary from Lyfax. Things we couldn’t have learned on our own.
There were so many regions to learn about. I listened intently as he described them, and asked questions about everything. It was as if he was taking me on a mental tour of those far away places…
Before that day we hadn’t said a word to each other. Hadn’t shaken hands or anything. Whenever we had met eyes, we would quickly look away. I didn’t understand why we had done that. Now here we were hunched over a text book with our heads damn near touching. The heat of his breath warmed my face. It was hotter than earlier that day. Much hotter. No one was close enough to be bothered by it but Pam, and she did not seem to react to it.
And still I kept on gravitating closer. Because of how he had angled his body toward me, my left arm eventually pressed against his right.
My breathing stuttered, being in such close proximity to him. And I knew he felt it. He had to have felt it. Because I felt him tremble.
And there it was again! That strange rumble emanating from him, from his throat, I could now tell. Now that I was touching him, it was amplified, coursing through me. I tried to pinpoint its essence. It was very much like a growl, the crackling of a fire. And a hum; it reminded me of the way he responded to things without words. Hmmm.
All of it together was a magnetic song. I couldn’t help but listen. Let it lull me into a dream.
I wandered from the lesson for a moment to imagine what it would be like to just feel all of it pressed up against my chest. To embrace him and the heat he radiated.
I wanted to feel his fire whipping around me, not just the heat off him. To embrace a cascade of his flames. washing over me, engulfing me fully.
What would kissing Sasha be like? By the Goddess, the thought of drinking his fire until the persistent ice inside me melted was too tantalizing. If only I could just taste his breath inside my mouth… I wanted to look into his throat where I knew a flickering flame lie in wait. To explore it. Mmm.
It was like some deep ancestral memory was awakening. My breathing grew heavier. I swear to the goddess I heard his breath do the same. Except his breathing was punctuated by the rumbling crackle right under it. I knew he was in the same place I was.
I had to close my eyes and turn my head away from the heat coming off the words from his mouth. Because if I didn’t I would do something about it in that classroom—
“Leila?”
I emerged from my other world, his voice having shaken me from my daydream. I looked back to him.
“Class is over,” he rumbled into my ear quietly, the hotness washing over my neck and face. I rubbed those intense thoughts from my brows but they lingered everywhere else. I inhaled deeply and set about gathering my stuff. My hands shook.
Something hot brushed down my arm as he got up to gather his things. I looked down to see his claw drifting away from it. I thought it was an accident until he glanced at me. He smiled faintly though his brows were intense.
“Let us go,” he said gently, nodding toward the door.
“Okay,” I said, my eyebrow raising in interest. I slipped my bag over my shoulder. When he turned toward the door, I touched the trail of burning scales where he’d run his finger. When I say I could not breathe… I covered my mouth, then just rubbed my face with both hands. I didn’t know what to do. Mercy.
Looking around, my peers were also preparing to leave, so I composed myself the best I could and followed Sasha through the doorway.
—-
Dragontongue had been our last class of the day—”wow, you want that Dragontongue real bad huh?”Pam said— and it was time for us to part ways.
She chatted with Sasha, and I examined him while he was distracted.
I followed his gestures and mannerisms, wondering how he could weave such a spell over me that day. My behavior and my carefully curated facade were usually well under my control, perfected to give nothing away but pleasantness. But this dragon…
What I thought had been a perfect program was utterly interrupted. And the funny thing was, I wasn’t even mad at it. It was a break from the rigidity and monotony of my endless time at school. A break from my own reluctance to invite unknowns to myself, even those I desired. Like him.
For the first time in my life I thought ‘this is what the Sun must feel like to everyone else.’
From the moment I knew myself, my body had been cold. It was a point of contention between me, my parents and my Clan, all the Sun Clans. My mother was literally the leader of the Sun Dragons. And we, Sunscales, were Prime. Named directly after the Goddess.
People thought I was sickly. Anemic they called me. Even worse, some thought I was cursed. Most thought I wasn’t fit to be a leader in the future.
I did not let it stop me. I aimed for absolute perfection to stave off any doubt. Even at the expense of my own happiness sometimes.
My cold scales did not bother me. Although, at times, I wondered if I would be that way forever.
But now, I had felt Sasha’s warmth. This dragon had actually apologized in our first class for giving me the heat I never felt outside of putting my whole hand in a woodfire. It lingered in my scales as if they had drank it. They had awakened from a cold slumber.
I couldn’t go back.
I touched my arm that had been pressed against his, where his claw had grazed. Still hot to the touch. In fact everywhere he had breathed on, been near or looked at blazed. He had touched other things, shook hands with peers, finally, spoken to Pam, and none reacted as if he was exuding endless fire. Just me. Just for me.
“It has been a good day. You two have been so welcoming,” he said graciously. I was broken from my musings, realizing he was leaving. “I hope we continue to be friends during my time here.”
“For sure,” I said without hesitation, a little breathlessly. I didn’t want him to leave. He smiled warmly at me, almost in relief.
Pam smiled too. “Same,” she said. She began to rummage in her bag.
“It was nice to finally meet you,” he said softly to me. He put his hand out. I took it in mine. It was even hotter than before, unless I imagined it. I again put my other hand on top of his as if taking the warmth from it, to hold till later.
I don’t know what possessed me, but I let my thumb slide over the scales on the back of his hand. I didn’t even realize at first. But then I looked up and noticed Sasha was staring at me with his brow raised.
Gods, I could have died right there. Melted right into the floor and fallen into the void.
I almost pulled my hand in embarrassment, but he did not seem startled or upset. Instead Sasha placed his other hand atop mine. His face became intense for a moment, then softened. It seemed that neither of us wanted to let go. We did, though. The moment was brief, but it held much.
Pam, who had glanced up at us, had a barely concealed grin spreading over her face. She broke the spell that had drifted over us.
“Thank you for teaching us all that extra stuff about different dialects. I especially like that ridiculous word with the bricks,” she said, breaking the tense air.
Sasha shook his head as if clearing it. “Of course. I thought you might find that one amusing,” he said. He glanced at his phone, which had vibrated.
“You can lay your bricks on me anytime,” I mumbled to myself, still feeling the heaviness of that moment in my chest. I couldn’t help myself, saying that. I knew good and well it was provocative. I knew he might hear me. My mouth simply didn’t care. It was going to get me in trouble, I just knew it. I stared at my hand in wonder. It felt like fire had spread over it. What was he doing to me? Did he even realize that he was doing something? It didn’t seem like it.
In that same vein, Sasha didn’t say anything; he hadn’t been paying attention, I thought. Probably for the best. But then I heard him say something under his breath.
“Wow,” he whispered, silently laughing. I looked up at him. He covered his eyes, his shoulders shaking.
“Oh shit,” I said, covering my eyes as well.
Pam looked up. “What?” she asked, startled.
Sasha tried his best to keep a straight face, but it was impossible. He just laughed aloud then, a laugh that shook me to the core.
“Shut up,” I said, also laughing. I shielded my face in my hand as if I could hide from the embarrassment.
“I have said nothing,” he pointed out, his hands up.
“Please, please, let’s pretend I didn’t just say that shit,” I pleaded with him.
Pam’s eyes widened. “Oh my gods, what?”
“I will not say, Pam, yet I will never forget it,” Sasha said, smiling widely.
“What?” I replied, shocked.
“I will never forget it,” he repeated.
“By the Goddess Sasha. Are you serious?”
Sasha rubbed his eyes, still chuckling occasionally. “I am. Would you, if you were in my position?”
“Oh my gods,” I said weakly, still covering the side of my face.
Sasha patted his hand on his chest. “Gods, truly I needed today, desperately. It is no trouble to me, that you have said this. Certainly not. Unfortunately, I have a meeting to attend to, but we will discuss this permanent memory later, Leila Sunscale,” he said.
“Yeah, I bet,” I groaned, my voice shakey. I covered my face more. I was out of my mind, surely.
I heard Sasha begin to walk away, but his footsteps slowed. He hesitated, I guessed.
“Leila, do you have plans today?" he asked.
I looked up. He was looking at me expectantly. I couldn’t even say anything. I was still reeling from my ridiculous blunder. Now he wanted to see me! “What? I… umm—“
“No she doesn’t have plans,” Pam spoke up. Bless her.
Sasha smiled. “Perhaps we can speak of our project. I will find you later this evening as long as you are outside. I apologize for my abrupt departure but I must go.”
“Okay, cool,” I said. I rubbed my forehead.
He walked to the exit and looked back at me. “Perhaps we can build something later; I am not a bad mason, Leila Sunscale,” he said, chin raised. My mouth dropped. This dragon…
He let out a deep laugh and left. I watched him disappear through the doors of the hall, then followed him out. I saw a flash of red turn a corner into another building, vanishing from my sight.
"No he didn’t," I said in disbelief. "Did you hear what he just said?" I asked incredulously, gesturing toward his exit.
“What the hells did you say Leila?”
“I may have said a little something about bricks under my breath but his ass heard me. My gods.”
“Are you serious? Girrrrl," Pam said, shaking her head. “The gall on you.”
"Why did I say that? I must be crazy." I placed my hand over my forehead. Hot.
"I mean, he liked it," Pam said. "He thought it was funny. See, no harm done. If anything it sounds like Sasha has some business with you Leila," she teased.
I rubbed my face. I couldn't believe that I had run my mouth like that. In the other hand, I was pleased to have been so reckless. It had led me down this path. My scales prickled despite my embarrassment. Why should I feel bad now? He took my accidental flirtations as an invitation. And wasn’t that what I wanted?
Pam’s demeanor softened.
“Hey, for weeks you’ve been talking about how attracted you are to him. He turned out to be super nice, and he has a sense of humor, too. I like him. Fate is smiling on you again.”
"You sound like my mother," I noted.
“That's 'cause she's always right, isn’t she?" Pam pointed out, brow raised.
“Fine… She is,” I conceded. She would have said those words. In truth I had heard her say them many times.
Resigned to my fate, I stepped into the quad with Pan. I walked into a shaft of sunlight and sat on the bench it spilled onto, the Sun’s rays warming me. I closed my eyes against them, basking.
“I may as well go study while I wait for him. I can’t believe this is happening,” I remarked.
“Well believe it. Your bricklayer is seeing you today,” Pam teased.
“Pam, for real?” I remarked, opening my eyes.
“What? Come on. We can both go study.” Pam hugged me. She looked puzzled though.
“Leila. You feel hot. You never run hot. You’re not having a stroke are you?” she asked, alarmed.
“No. That’s just because he sat next to me the whole day,” I revealed. And breathed on me, leaned on me… I shut my eyes, wishing I had lied.
Pam nodded, not noticing my apprehension. “Oh okay. That makes sense. We did just get out of class. I didn’t know fire dragons were like that just idly,” she mused. “Let’s get on out of here.”
I wanted to tell her what I really felt. But I was sure it would sound crazy. Maybe I would after I met him and spoke to him. Privately.
We walked together through the courtyard. I glanced through the windows of various buildings looking for red scales moving in the halls. I saw nothing, of course.
We ended up going to the library. The room was large and made of ironwood. Small nooks with tables were tucked away amongst large shelves full of tomes.
We chose a table with a window next to it.
I studied as attentively as I could, trying to occupy my mind. But I could not stop seeing Sasha in my vision. Pam gave up trying to get me to engage in conversations with her. Instead I studied for the assignment in Dragonology on my laptop, and daydreamed.
—
“It’s getting late. You don’t know when Sasha will be looking for you.” Pam said, shaking me from my focus.
The light from the windows had waned somewhat, giving way to the Sun readying for slumber.
“Oh, right. I was deep into this essay here. I wish I had borrowed his books and saved my eyes,” I said, rubbing them.
Pam yawned as we packed our things, hefting her bag up. “I’m going to head home. Tell me how everything goes. Tell me if y’all build a house!”
“Pam!” I gasped. “Oh my gods.”
“Love you! Bye!” Pam called, rushing off.
—
I strolled around the grounds reading a book, looking up at the Sun every once in a while. But I didn’t spot Sasha anywhere. I hoped that I had not missed him. I had studied a bit longer than I intended.
Eventually I sat on a bench to wait. I would wait until dusk settled. And if he didn’t show I would see him the following day. It was not as if we had exchanged our numbers.
I pulled out my notebook full of writings, poetry, doodles. It was just one volume from a collection of filled books over the duration of my life, where I pressed flowers of my heart through its pages.
Before I could put pen to paper, I paused.
I put away my old faithful journal and pulled out a new one in deep red. It was not a coincidence by any stretch. I had stared at it on the shelves of an art store until I gave in and bought it.
I hadn’t written one thing in it since. After all, I hadn’t known him, and didn’t want to write only about his appearance. I wanted to know what he was made of. Now, having met Sasha, the red book was begging for ink.
So I let myself fall into a rhythm. So many elements of Sasha had revealed themselves to me that day: this dragon’s voice, his heat, his mannerisms. The words he said, the way he said them, his sense of humor hidden under all that seriousness.
I searched my brain and gathered up all my own words, sifted through them. I wrote a few things here and there, but nothing like what I wanted.
I looked up toward the Sun for some bit of inspiration, and my breath caught. A red form flew in front of it, wings beating. Seeing Sasha framed in that circle of fire was more than I could have hoped for. I stared up at him flying until he stopped, scanning for something.
The moment of inspiration I had been searching for was right there. I spoke aloud what I had and wrote it as swiftly as my claws could move:
“A dragon in a Circle. An Inferno wrapped in the Sun A scarlet vision framed in fire A cloud of embers in the Goddess’s hands She Holds all of him out toward me The gift of a flame within a flame “
I dropped my pen and covered my mouth in embarrassment. “Oh my gods what am I writing?” I asked myself. I stared at the words.
I turned my head to read them as if a new perspective would make them less mortifying.
“Hmm,” I muttered. “Needs some work but…’A flame within a flame.’ That’s some good shit.”
I looked back up. Sasha’s gaze swept over me then away. I waved my arm up at him, bangles jangling, hoping he saw me so he wouldn’t be looking all around all day.
When Sasha looked back in my direction he stopped where he was. He descended slowly until he locked eyes with me. My heart pounded again. It was driving me up the wall, the anxiety. Or rather anticipation. I pressed my hand to my chest watching him grow closer. His wings were huge, blocking out the Sun.
I had been staring at Sasha from a distance since he had arrived, his very first day. He was imposing, the way he had entered my classes, but exceptionally polite. I had been silently competing with him since laying eyes on his grades.
Now the distance was finally closed after my nervousness had kept me away. I folded my notebook shut and stood as Sasha landed with a woosh of air.
I looked upon him not as a mysterious figure in the back of class but as a new friend. More. I couldn’t help but smile when he straightened his already straight clothes as he moved toward me.
He smiled right back at me, chin raised.
“Leila,” he said.
“Sasha. Hey,” I replied.
“So,” he said, “you spoke of bricks earlier,” he teased.
My mouth dropped again. This dragon…
“You aren’t letting that go are you?” I asked.
“Never. Even if nothing ever came of it, I would never forget.”
“By the gods,” I muttered.
“I am not complaining,” he clarified.
My eyes widened. Then it occurred to me that he had insinuated something would come of it. Goddess, I felt my own fire sweep across my cheeks. I was so flustered I covered my mouth with the heel of my palm letting my claws settle over my cheek. I couldn’t stop the motion fast enough.
Sasha laughed good naturedly. Sweetly, even. “I will stop teasing. For now,” he said.
“For now?” I repeated past my palm.
“For now.”
I lowered my hand. “You are a trip, do you know that?” I said, raising my eyebrow. Even though I had been nervous, actually talking to him made me feel like meeting all his words head on.
He gestured for me to walk beside him without answering. I did. I almost took his arm again, so I clutched my notebook to my chest to keep my hands in check. We didn’t say much as we walked along the quad together.
Some students were staring at us as we walked. I suppose we made quite the pair together.
“It appears we are a bit of a spectacle,” he muttered to himself curiously, agreeing with my thoughts.
I couldn’t help stealing glances at him every once in a while.
His posture was impecable. He held his left hand behind his back. The other lingered in front of his chest as if ready for something. I didn’t know how else to describe it. It was interesting, that pose; deliberate. I saw that he had rings on his fingers as well. I had not noticed them before. They were red like his scales, rough hewn. The overall pose made him seem so stately.
I couldn’t quite describe his expression. It was both intense and peaceful all at once.
He caught me staring one time, though. He was looking right at me when I peeked. I turned away and put a hand to my face. I hoisted up my bag.
“Here,” he said.
I turned back. “Here what?” I asked.
He put his hand out to me, gesturing toward my bag. I stopped walking.
“Oh. Okay. Such a gentleman,” I said, a smile playing on my face, impressed. He chuckled to himself, accepting my compliment.
I slipped my bag from my shoulder, and he took it to hold on his elbow. We started walking again. I didn’t care after that; I looked at him openly, a little bit enamored.
‘Ok Mr. Sasha Emberscale. I see you,’ I thought.
PART 2
2024.06.02 04:33 Vulpix9tales Help with Additional Clues for Bachelorette Scavenger Hunt
Throwing a bachelorette party for my sister-in-law who is a big puzzle enthusiast. That said, the rest of the crew may not be as familiar and I want to make sure it's accessible to them as well. Here's what we have so far:
Key Information:
submitted by Vulpix9tales to Constructedadventures [link] [comments]
Key Information:
- Location: Lake House Air BnB
- Ideal Length: 45min-1 hour
- Pirate themed, lol
- My brain is fried here, so need some ideas to creatively come up with a few more clues
- I'd love feedback on clue difficulty level, timing, etc
- Location: Living Room Television
- Details: Video of the Groom-to-be will be played for the group, introducing the hunt and the concept of finding his family's long lost treasure somewhere on the property. Once video is played, we will hand the group their first clue
- Pirates have a peg leg, I have four, find the room I'm in for more. Look above when on the floor, find out what clue's next in store
- Location: Under the dining room table
- Clue: Acclaimed actor Stellan Skarsgård played William "Bootstrap" Bill Turner in Pirates of the Carribben: Dead Man's Chest and subsequent films. Which of the following films did he NOT appear in? A.Da Vinci Code B. Angels & Demons C. Mamma Mia D. Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again! E. Dune F. Dune Part Two
- The answers will each have a location associated and we will have "fake" clue envelopes in all the spots for wrong answers (with the grooms face in them) A: Upstairs Bathroom Mirror(Correct Answer),next clue, B: Behind a couch C: In the microwave, D: In the fridge, E: In the Oven, F: Downstairs bathroom Mirror
- Location: Upstairs Bathroom Mirror
- Clue: "Not sure how to read this clue? Think what would a parrot do?" then the Real Clue is Backwards: "Here's a Joke: Q: Why couldn't the pirates play cards? A: The captain was standing on the ______" (Message can be read when viewed in a mirror)
- Location: Outdoor Deck
- Clue: "Take a dip in the pool, take a cue from me, the clue that's next is meant to be. First is the worst, second is the best, (Groom Name) is the one with the hairy chest. Put your knowledge to the test and find the color he loves best"
- Location: Pool Table (green Ball #6)
- Clue: **Need something shorter here since it will be stuck to pool ball**
- Location: TBD
- Clue: The oldest documents describing pirates are from 1350 BC. The oldest documents describing (Groom's Name) are from his birth certificate in 1993. Put the photos in order from that point to now to find out how to unlock your treasure. 4-5 photos of Groom with numbers on the back. Put them in age order to get the number that opens the padlock to the chest
- Answer will be a three digit number, opening the treasure!
2024.06.02 04:07 Ok-Raccoon1530 My experience with a 13w6d surgical in-clinic D&E at Cherry Hill Women’s Center NJ
My experience as a patient at Cherry Hill Women’s Center NJ with a D&E abortion at 13w6d pregnant.
TLDR; very very kind staff, clean environment, professional clinic setup, 4 hour process, overall great experience as a patient.
My backstory: I’m over 30, married for over 10 years and have never had a pregnancy before. I have always been told by my doctors that i would never be able to get pregnant. I’m on multiple medications that can cause severe birth defects and i was not aware that i was pregnant until i was 12w5d. I had no idea how far along i may have been because i didn’t note any pregnancy symptoms except for tender nipples and vomiting a week prior to taking a test. I have always had a very inconsistent period and had frequent spotting on a regular basis. I had an US done & measured at 13w0days & was able to schedule this procedure for 6 days later so this abortion was done at 13w6days.
Emotionally this was very hard for me. I reconciled the fact that i would never be pregnant as a very young teenager. My husband and I decided not to pursue having children at the very beginning of our relationship and he still does not want to be a father. Initially I was very afraid to tell him that i was pregnant because i was afraid that him knowing i was pregnant would change his feelings about having children and that he would hate me for taking this away from him. I’m very fortunate in that he was resolute in his decision to not have children and he’s been absolutely incredible through this whole process. He said he would support me if i wanted to keep it but my medical reasons for wanting to terminate were valid and he was in full agreement that life is hard enough and intentionally bringing a deformed/disabled child into the world when life is already so hard just wasn’t the choice for us. He has been my absolute rock through all of this.
I did a lot of research prior to my appointment and I’m not going to lie, there are a lot of bad reviews on google that had me extremely nervous, making me feel like i was going to be walking into a back alley abortion and i was terrified that i wouldn’t be able to bring my husband with me for this whole experience. There is so much anti abortion propaganda out there and there are a lot of videos designed to make you feel like you are a bad person for “murdering babies” and trying to scare you out of going forward with the procedure, but if this procedure is the right decision for you, this place is the right choice to go to. Everyone is kind and professional and understanding. Not once was i made to feel like i was a bad person or making the wrong decision. I was met with understanding and support every step of the way. It is completely normal to be scared or emotional going into this. I have been a healthcare professional for over 10 years and am very familiar with preop/post op procedures and patient care and i was still very scared going into this appointment.
Scheduling experience: I used their online appointment request tool on a Sunday and Monday afternoon i got a text with a link for a hipaa compliant chat. I chatted with a very nice lady who was able to schedule me for the following Saturday. I wasn’t given any information other than to not eat or drink anything after midnight the night before and to be at the clinic at 8am Saturday. No one called, texted, or emailed any further instructions after that chat communication.
This is where my feedback for them to improve comes in. They really need to make it clear what to expect the day of the appointment: that we will not be able to have a support person come in with us because only the patients can be in the waiting room for safety purposes. They should be highlighting the process of the day with the multiple back and forth trips from the waiting room to the back and the different steps to expect. It would have been nice to know i would do paper work then wait then US and blood and vitals then wait then nurse for the history & going over the procedure then wait then the payment then wait then come to the back for preop and talk to the doctor then wait in preop then the operative area for the procedure then what to expect for the post op experience.
Clinic experience: Upon arriving to the clinic, the protesters on the front sidewalk were SO very nice to make the driveway more visible. -___- Unfortunately nothing can be done to remove them from a public walkway. The security guard comes to the door when you pull in to ensure you arrive inside safely. Please don’t let them deter you, don’t even look at them or acknowledge them.
I was greeted by the very kind security guard who had my escort sign me in and then i entered the office by myself.
The receptionist was very kind and provided me with my paperwork to fill out. The office was clean and quiet. After about 45 minutes i was taken back by a very kind employee (sweetest kindest human being ever with such a calming energy) who did my ultrasound and vital signs and did a finger stick to check my hemoglobin level and rH factor of my blood. I was then taken back to the waiting room for the next step.
30 minutes later i was taken back to speak with the nurse to go over my health history, medications, birth control options, and the procedure. The financial planner then came in and took my payment (we paid cash $750 for the sedated D&E, $65 for the depo shot we are fortunate to have the income to cover the costs but they do offer financial assistance ask the scheduler about it if you need it)& i was escorted back to the waiting room.
20 minutes later i was taken back by the first employee (the literal angel on earth, so so kind) who did my ultrasound earlier to talk with the Dr, who was also very nice, and i was given cytotec to place between my gums and cheeks to soften my cervix and prepare me for the procedure. I was then taken to the preop/postop area to put a gown cap and booties on, they let you keep your own socks on and it’s chilly in there so i recommend doing it. They put me in a recliner chair with a blanket and then about an hour after getting the cytotec, the nurse started an iv & gave me zofran since i was feeling nauseous. At this point i was having weird stretching bloating feelings in my uterus area with moderate to strong cramps, which i assume was the cytotec softening everything & dilating my cervix. I noted the post op nurses were very kind to the patients the whole time and met the loopy antics of the other women waking up from sedation with good humor and kindness.
The operative nurses wheeled me back to the procedure room in the recliner chair I was in and I was taken in to the procedure room and met the anesthetist and operative nurses. They helped me get situated on the procedure table and then the next thing i remembered was waking up in my recliner chair in the preop/post op area. They took me back at 10:45 and i woke up in the post op area at 11:12.
The post op nurse said i stood and sat in the chair on my own from the table to in the operative area as they don’t lift anyone there but i don’t remember anything between being positioned on the procedure table before the procedure and waking up in the chair in post op. The post op nurse gave me the depo provera shot i previously decided to take with the first nurse and helped me to the bathroom to get changed back into my clothes.
I felt moderate cramping, similar to period cramps on a heavy flow day, and had a good amount of bleeding and small clots present in the toilet. I came prepared and brought female pull-ups and pads so i put those on. My husband arrived to pick me up and the post op nurse gave me a 1x dose of antibiotics to prevent infections and went over discharge education. They escorted me out to the car and i was on my way home. I took 800mg Motrin as soon as i got in the car.
They had the security guard still at the front door and then a clinic escort in the parking lot keeping the protesters off the property and on the sidewalk.
I arrived for my 8:00 appointment at 7:30 and was in the car on my way home by 11:30. By the time we got close to our home 45 minutes later the Motrin had me feeling well enough to have a meal with my husband at the local diner.
It’s now 8 hours after we got home and i feel mild cramping after taking another dose of 800 mg Motrin. I would say the discharge is similar to a heavy flow day with small clots. My lower abdomen is visibly bloated but not very tender to the touch. (Until my husband wasn’t thinking and set Wawa bags with a half gallon of milk in them on my lap/lower abdomen -_-) I have a weighted heating pad and I’ve had it laying across my abdomen since i got home and it’s been so helpful for the mild to moderate discomfort I’ve had.
Timeline of events:
0730 arrived, security very nice, receptionist very nice 0815- taken back for US, VS, finger stick. Ultrasound tech very nice. 0845- nurse - history, procedure review, birth control planning. very nice and informative 0900- financial counselor very nice 0920- brought back by first US tech to see the Dr, cytotec inserted in cheeks 0930 changed into gown put in preop recliner chair, curtain dividers 1000- preop nurses very kind, playing fun music, joking with patients during their postop grogginess 1030- iv inserted 1045- took back to the procedure room 1112- procedure done, in recovery, got depo shot, iv taken out, got dressed 1130- discharge education and went home. Moderate period like cramping.
Recommendations: - ask as many questions as you need to feel comfortable, they will take the time to answer them - It’s normal to be nervous but you don’t need to be afraid to come here. Everyone was kind, understanding, and professional there. - Your decision is the right decision. Period. No one else gets to make it for you. - It doesn’t matter if you are young or older, single or married, have no children or already have 10 children, this decision is yours and your rights - Hydrate well the night before. I made it a point to drink several liquid IV’s late the night before knowing i couldn’t have anything to eat or drink after midnight. It will be very hard for the nurses to get an IV in your vein if you are very dehydrated, the more you drink the night before, the better your veins will be. - Bring your own pads or even female pull ups whatever you prefer. They do supply you pads but they’re the big huge thick ones that most people hate. - Have Motrin ready to take as soon as you’re done. - Get a heating pad for afterwards it really is soothing. - Walk as much as you can, it helps with the pain and swelling and helps get the clots out. - Firmly massage over your uterus area it will help get the clots out and help your uterus shrink back down to size faster. - If your BMI is over 40 they won’t be able to do an asleep abortion there since they don’t have advanced airway management there. You’re a higher risk of respiratory depression during sedation when you’re overweight. I wasn’t aware of this until i talked with the history nurse. Luckily i was right at 40 and the anesthetist cleared me. - If you need to be sedated they will make you have someone sign you in and sign you out. But they can’t come inside and wait with you. You cannot drive yourself. - They’re going to tell you not to put anything in your vagina for 1 week post op- no tampons, menstrual cups, no sex, nothing internally placed. Also no swimming or sitting in a bathtub for a week. This is all to prevent infection. You want the drainage to drain and not build up bacteria inside you. - You are going to be more fertile after the procedure. It can take 4 weeks to get your period again, you can get pregnant before you have a period, use birth control! They don’t do IUD insertions there so consider getting birth control pills or the depo shot while you’re there.
submitted by Ok-Raccoon1530 to abortion [link] [comments]
TLDR; very very kind staff, clean environment, professional clinic setup, 4 hour process, overall great experience as a patient.
My backstory: I’m over 30, married for over 10 years and have never had a pregnancy before. I have always been told by my doctors that i would never be able to get pregnant. I’m on multiple medications that can cause severe birth defects and i was not aware that i was pregnant until i was 12w5d. I had no idea how far along i may have been because i didn’t note any pregnancy symptoms except for tender nipples and vomiting a week prior to taking a test. I have always had a very inconsistent period and had frequent spotting on a regular basis. I had an US done & measured at 13w0days & was able to schedule this procedure for 6 days later so this abortion was done at 13w6days.
Emotionally this was very hard for me. I reconciled the fact that i would never be pregnant as a very young teenager. My husband and I decided not to pursue having children at the very beginning of our relationship and he still does not want to be a father. Initially I was very afraid to tell him that i was pregnant because i was afraid that him knowing i was pregnant would change his feelings about having children and that he would hate me for taking this away from him. I’m very fortunate in that he was resolute in his decision to not have children and he’s been absolutely incredible through this whole process. He said he would support me if i wanted to keep it but my medical reasons for wanting to terminate were valid and he was in full agreement that life is hard enough and intentionally bringing a deformed/disabled child into the world when life is already so hard just wasn’t the choice for us. He has been my absolute rock through all of this.
I did a lot of research prior to my appointment and I’m not going to lie, there are a lot of bad reviews on google that had me extremely nervous, making me feel like i was going to be walking into a back alley abortion and i was terrified that i wouldn’t be able to bring my husband with me for this whole experience. There is so much anti abortion propaganda out there and there are a lot of videos designed to make you feel like you are a bad person for “murdering babies” and trying to scare you out of going forward with the procedure, but if this procedure is the right decision for you, this place is the right choice to go to. Everyone is kind and professional and understanding. Not once was i made to feel like i was a bad person or making the wrong decision. I was met with understanding and support every step of the way. It is completely normal to be scared or emotional going into this. I have been a healthcare professional for over 10 years and am very familiar with preop/post op procedures and patient care and i was still very scared going into this appointment.
Scheduling experience: I used their online appointment request tool on a Sunday and Monday afternoon i got a text with a link for a hipaa compliant chat. I chatted with a very nice lady who was able to schedule me for the following Saturday. I wasn’t given any information other than to not eat or drink anything after midnight the night before and to be at the clinic at 8am Saturday. No one called, texted, or emailed any further instructions after that chat communication.
This is where my feedback for them to improve comes in. They really need to make it clear what to expect the day of the appointment: that we will not be able to have a support person come in with us because only the patients can be in the waiting room for safety purposes. They should be highlighting the process of the day with the multiple back and forth trips from the waiting room to the back and the different steps to expect. It would have been nice to know i would do paper work then wait then US and blood and vitals then wait then nurse for the history & going over the procedure then wait then the payment then wait then come to the back for preop and talk to the doctor then wait in preop then the operative area for the procedure then what to expect for the post op experience.
Clinic experience: Upon arriving to the clinic, the protesters on the front sidewalk were SO very nice to make the driveway more visible. -___- Unfortunately nothing can be done to remove them from a public walkway. The security guard comes to the door when you pull in to ensure you arrive inside safely. Please don’t let them deter you, don’t even look at them or acknowledge them.
I was greeted by the very kind security guard who had my escort sign me in and then i entered the office by myself.
The receptionist was very kind and provided me with my paperwork to fill out. The office was clean and quiet. After about 45 minutes i was taken back by a very kind employee (sweetest kindest human being ever with such a calming energy) who did my ultrasound and vital signs and did a finger stick to check my hemoglobin level and rH factor of my blood. I was then taken back to the waiting room for the next step.
30 minutes later i was taken back to speak with the nurse to go over my health history, medications, birth control options, and the procedure. The financial planner then came in and took my payment (we paid cash $750 for the sedated D&E, $65 for the depo shot we are fortunate to have the income to cover the costs but they do offer financial assistance ask the scheduler about it if you need it)& i was escorted back to the waiting room.
20 minutes later i was taken back by the first employee (the literal angel on earth, so so kind) who did my ultrasound earlier to talk with the Dr, who was also very nice, and i was given cytotec to place between my gums and cheeks to soften my cervix and prepare me for the procedure. I was then taken to the preop/postop area to put a gown cap and booties on, they let you keep your own socks on and it’s chilly in there so i recommend doing it. They put me in a recliner chair with a blanket and then about an hour after getting the cytotec, the nurse started an iv & gave me zofran since i was feeling nauseous. At this point i was having weird stretching bloating feelings in my uterus area with moderate to strong cramps, which i assume was the cytotec softening everything & dilating my cervix. I noted the post op nurses were very kind to the patients the whole time and met the loopy antics of the other women waking up from sedation with good humor and kindness.
The operative nurses wheeled me back to the procedure room in the recliner chair I was in and I was taken in to the procedure room and met the anesthetist and operative nurses. They helped me get situated on the procedure table and then the next thing i remembered was waking up in my recliner chair in the preop/post op area. They took me back at 10:45 and i woke up in the post op area at 11:12.
The post op nurse said i stood and sat in the chair on my own from the table to in the operative area as they don’t lift anyone there but i don’t remember anything between being positioned on the procedure table before the procedure and waking up in the chair in post op. The post op nurse gave me the depo provera shot i previously decided to take with the first nurse and helped me to the bathroom to get changed back into my clothes.
I felt moderate cramping, similar to period cramps on a heavy flow day, and had a good amount of bleeding and small clots present in the toilet. I came prepared and brought female pull-ups and pads so i put those on. My husband arrived to pick me up and the post op nurse gave me a 1x dose of antibiotics to prevent infections and went over discharge education. They escorted me out to the car and i was on my way home. I took 800mg Motrin as soon as i got in the car.
They had the security guard still at the front door and then a clinic escort in the parking lot keeping the protesters off the property and on the sidewalk.
I arrived for my 8:00 appointment at 7:30 and was in the car on my way home by 11:30. By the time we got close to our home 45 minutes later the Motrin had me feeling well enough to have a meal with my husband at the local diner.
It’s now 8 hours after we got home and i feel mild cramping after taking another dose of 800 mg Motrin. I would say the discharge is similar to a heavy flow day with small clots. My lower abdomen is visibly bloated but not very tender to the touch. (Until my husband wasn’t thinking and set Wawa bags with a half gallon of milk in them on my lap/lower abdomen -_-) I have a weighted heating pad and I’ve had it laying across my abdomen since i got home and it’s been so helpful for the mild to moderate discomfort I’ve had.
Timeline of events:
0730 arrived, security very nice, receptionist very nice 0815- taken back for US, VS, finger stick. Ultrasound tech very nice. 0845- nurse - history, procedure review, birth control planning. very nice and informative 0900- financial counselor very nice 0920- brought back by first US tech to see the Dr, cytotec inserted in cheeks 0930 changed into gown put in preop recliner chair, curtain dividers 1000- preop nurses very kind, playing fun music, joking with patients during their postop grogginess 1030- iv inserted 1045- took back to the procedure room 1112- procedure done, in recovery, got depo shot, iv taken out, got dressed 1130- discharge education and went home. Moderate period like cramping.
Recommendations: - ask as many questions as you need to feel comfortable, they will take the time to answer them - It’s normal to be nervous but you don’t need to be afraid to come here. Everyone was kind, understanding, and professional there. - Your decision is the right decision. Period. No one else gets to make it for you. - It doesn’t matter if you are young or older, single or married, have no children or already have 10 children, this decision is yours and your rights - Hydrate well the night before. I made it a point to drink several liquid IV’s late the night before knowing i couldn’t have anything to eat or drink after midnight. It will be very hard for the nurses to get an IV in your vein if you are very dehydrated, the more you drink the night before, the better your veins will be. - Bring your own pads or even female pull ups whatever you prefer. They do supply you pads but they’re the big huge thick ones that most people hate. - Have Motrin ready to take as soon as you’re done. - Get a heating pad for afterwards it really is soothing. - Walk as much as you can, it helps with the pain and swelling and helps get the clots out. - Firmly massage over your uterus area it will help get the clots out and help your uterus shrink back down to size faster. - If your BMI is over 40 they won’t be able to do an asleep abortion there since they don’t have advanced airway management there. You’re a higher risk of respiratory depression during sedation when you’re overweight. I wasn’t aware of this until i talked with the history nurse. Luckily i was right at 40 and the anesthetist cleared me. - If you need to be sedated they will make you have someone sign you in and sign you out. But they can’t come inside and wait with you. You cannot drive yourself. - They’re going to tell you not to put anything in your vagina for 1 week post op- no tampons, menstrual cups, no sex, nothing internally placed. Also no swimming or sitting in a bathtub for a week. This is all to prevent infection. You want the drainage to drain and not build up bacteria inside you. - You are going to be more fertile after the procedure. It can take 4 weeks to get your period again, you can get pregnant before you have a period, use birth control! They don’t do IUD insertions there so consider getting birth control pills or the depo shot while you’re there.