Love is like a willful bird! Do you want it? It flies away! Yet, when you least expect its bliss, it turns around and it’s here to stay! For centuries man struggles, half-asleep, half-living, small, jealous, bickering with mountains of red tape, to be awakened, the night God chose giving; His great reward for hard work; Poetry-Unity-Love, evolving man above the ape! Poetry-Unity-Ecstasy-Love, evolving man above, above, above the ape! For any ape can have 5 minutes of sex within; Only man, absolutely clean, reciting poetry, enjoys hours and hours of loving self-discipline! Co-in-ci-dent-ally and yet oh-so-slow, sweet kisses whisper softly into waiting ears, arousing heavenly flames, that enlighten, renew, brilliant fires, blazing through dark lonesome years! For who else but God gave man this sensuous passion, love that can spark mere dust to life?!
Passions that quicken your senses, fulfill quench the thirst of lonesome years! Yet, the sun has shadows: learn to control your will, to enjoy lifelong happiness, not tears!

Background Info: I (stupidly) got back with my abusive and cheating boyfriend. I had to move back in with my mom a few months ago so our physical contact has been limited. I was hanging on to the hope that if I stuck around that he would eventually pay me back the almost 10,000 dollars he owes me and to spend time with his dog who I love. I thought we could work through previous issues and things would improve. (I am an idiot)
Last week I had the opportunity to go over and spend time with the dog and see how the garden I planted last year was doing. I stayed overnight and the next day he spent mostly sleeping because he has been working overnights. I then (stupidly) looked through his unlocked phone. He had changed his passcode because of how I found out about all of the cheating in the first place. I saw it unlocked and I just went for it despite knowing that I would hate what I saw. Turns out it was way worse than I thought. Not only is he screwing many different men and women, buying drugs or attempting to, but also using pictures of us/me to do these things. The pictures I saw he used CLEARLY show my face and I have never ever consented to him sharing these pictures with anyone, let alone with STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET.
I took a picture of one message exchange but I was so sick to my stomach I couldn't look anymore. I read the law regarding Pennsylvania's revenge porn but I am not clear on whether this falls into that category. Can anyone clarify that for me? What would be the first thing I do if I wanted to pursue this legally? I don't particularly want to get near him again to obtain more evidence because I am honestly scared of him and his disgusting behaviors. Do I need a lawyer? Honestly any advice is welcome, I am a mess right now and need logical advice. I have no idea how many people now have access to these photos and I do not want anymore to be used. I am horrified that one of my many redditor friends will find me on one of the porn reddits.. Here is the info on revenge porn in PA:
§ 3131. Unlawful dissemination of intimate image.
(a) Offense defined.--Except as provided in sections 5903 (relating to obscene and other sexual materials and performances), 6312 (relating to sexual abuse of children) and 6321 (relating to transmission of sexually explicit images by minor), a person commits the offense of unlawful dissemination of intimate image if, with intent to harass, annoy or alarm a current or former sexual or intimate partner, the person disseminates a visual depiction of the current or former sexual or intimate partner in a state of nudity or engaged in sexual conduct.
(b) Defense.--It is a defense to a prosecution under this section that the actor disseminated the visual depiction with the consent of the person depicted.
(c) Grading.--An offense under subsection (a) shall be:
(1) A misdemeanor of the first degree, when the person depicted is a minor.
(2) A misdemeanor of the second degree, when the person depicted is not a minor.
(d) Territorial applicability.--A person may be convicted under the provisions of this section if the victim or the offender is located within this Commonwealth.
(e) Nonapplicability.--Nothing in this section shall be construed to apply to a law enforcement officer engaged in the performance of the law enforcement officer's official duties.
(f) Concurrent jurisdiction to prosecute.--In addition to the authority conferred upon the Attorney General by the act of October 15, 1980 (P.L.950, No.164), known as the Commonwealth Attorneys Act, the Attorney General shall have the authority to investigate and to institute criminal proceedings for any violation of this section or any series of violations involving more than one county of this Commonwealth or another state. No person charged with a violation of this section by the Attorney General shall have standing to challenge the authority of the Attorney General to investigate or prosecute the case, and, if a challenge is made, the challenge shall be dismissed, and no relief shall be made available in the courts of this Commonwealth to the person making the challenge.
(g) Definitions.--As used in this section, the following words and phrases shall have the meanings given to them in this subsection unless the context clearly indicates otherwise:
"Law enforcement officer." Any officer of the United States, of the Commonwealth or political subdivision thereof, or of another state or subdivision thereof, who is empowered to conduct investigations of or to make arrests for offenses enumerated in this title or an equivalent crime in another jurisdiction, and any attorney authorized by law to prosecute or participate in the prosecution of such offense.
"Minor." An individual under 18 years of age.
"Nudity." As defined in section 5903(e).
"Sexual conduct." As defined in section 5903(e).
"Visual depiction." As defined in section 6321.
(July 9, 2014, P.L.1013, No.115, eff. 60 days)

2014 Amendment. Act 115 added section 3131.
Cross References. Section 3131 is referred to in section 8316.1 of Title 42 (Judiciary and Judicial Procedure).

At the beginning of March of this, year. My family put up for adoption puppies that were born on our land. Raising eight puppies from Birth till 3 months old was a nightmare end of itself. But we still loved them. The whole three months my family and I were discussing which puppy we wanted to keep. We couldn't decide between 2 dogs. And so my parents were very adamant.On keeping both. I try to inform my parents multiple times that is not a good idea to keep siblings due to A thing called littermate syndrome that happens between puppies that are close in age.They don't have to be siblings, it’s where both dogs either become To reliance on the other dog's presents or they grow to hate each other. But they kept brushing off my Concerns and told me that we can handle it. The puppies are now 5 months old and they might as well just be wild dogs. They have .No recall skills. They barely know the word sit and one of them barks Continuously. 2 weeks in from officially adopting them. I told my parents, I can't take care of them. I love animals, but it was to the point where I wanted to harm them. ( I never did). My puppies blues were at an all time low and tell them I can't do it anymore. They overtake the responsibilities raising both dogs by themselves. So for the past 2 months I've just been trapped in my room feeling like a prisoner in my own home. I finally was able to find a full-time job. But the thing is I live in in a small town that doesn't have any apartments so I'm honestly trapped here. I applied to jobs in the nearest city. But Sadly the only job that was willing to hire me was in the small town next to my small town that also don't have any apartments. I hear the dog bark continuously every single day From the living room while i'm trapped in my room and I can hear my parents frustration and trying to calm her down. I feel so sad. Knowing that we denied these dogs a bright future with a family That can provide a healthy life for them. Even if we just kept one dog. I would have loved that dog would have taught them so many tricks worked with them to be socialized. But no, they insisted on both dogs. And now the litter mate syndrome has set in right now. they get anxiety whenever they are separated from each other. In the future. Who knows? They might wanna go after each other's throat. We will never know.. Every time I hear My parents frustration while taking care of 2 puppies. The only phrase that goes in my mind is I told you so, but you didn't listen and I hate myself for feeling that way.

Meaningless embraces accompanied by empty phrases, moving through the steps.
Butterflies without their wings, head spinning with nothing remaining but regrets.
Ash filled lungs, breathing only dust from fires with no flames.
Smothering without oxygen, choking on bitter, burning shame.
Distance set between the bodies, relentless, endless misery.
Once grass covered mountains, full of life and love as far as eyes could see.
Crumbled down to only rocks, dragging me to the depths of hatred and disdain.
Plummeting spirits, twisted and bound by greed, lust, and their own self gain.
Intoxicating bitterness infiltrating me to the depths of my core.
Hatred once for only me, has now breached so much more.
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/s/Bv7Fm2Ygiu
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/s/X4fqBwc4Fj

Exploration of an Innovative K-12 School Curriculum and Pedagogical Approaches
Before going over the curriculum we must first discuss how to best teach. All of the following methods outlined below are what would I would suggest be use to teach the students trying to use just one or even just two of these would not be enough and would compromise the students learning and education
Teaching Methods
Project-Based Learning (PBL): In PBL, students work on a project over an extended period, which could be a week or a month, to respond to a complex question, problem, or challenge. The projects are usually multi-disciplinary and require students to apply what they've learned in a practical manner. This allows them to see the immediate applicability of their learning.
Inquiry-Based Learning: This is a form of active learning that starts by posing questions, problems, or scenarios—rather than simply presenting established facts or portraying a smooth path to knowledge. Students are involved in the construction of their learning. They engage with the material, participate in the class, and collaborate with each other.
Gamification: Incorporating elements of game design in education can make learning fun and engaging. This can involve point systems, leaderboards, badges, or other game mechanics.
Experiential Learning: This method involves learning by doing and reflecting on the experience. It can include internships, study abroad programs, field trips, laboratory experiments, or any other hands-on learning experiences.
Flipped Classroom: In a flipped classroom, students review lecture materials at home and do their 'homework' in class, where they can ask for help as they practice new skills and apply new knowledge. This allows teachers to spend class time helping students apply what they've learned and coaching them as they work through challenges.
Cross-Disciplinary Projects: By integrating different disciplines into a single project, you can make the learning experience more holistic and interconnected, much like how the knowledge of different magical disciplines would combine in a fantasy setting.
Competency-Based Learning: In this educational model, students advance upon mastering a skill or a competency. This encourages active utilization of knowledge and immediate feedback, similar to how a magic student might advance only after successfully casting a particular spell.
Now that we have given a basic outline of the teaching styles we can go over the curriculum for K-12 the idea would be to Have an A/B day schedule and some classes would meet less frequently because they don't take much time to cover everything, all of this will be done in order to create well rounded students, people and citizens. They are not only creative in nature, but leaders in their own right as well as capable of doing whatever they desire and succeeding wildly
Core Curriculum Classes:
STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, Mathematics): must Ensure these subjects are covered both within the integrated curriculum (like coding in math, cooking in science, history in art, etc.) and as standalone classes to develop depth of knowledge.
Memory Techniques & Knowledge Management Techniques: Using an Integrated code based system with AI tools to help teacher track progress and provide more targeted assistance as well as help students with how to effectively organize and manage knowledge, covering basic note-taking, the PARA/CODE system. Using AI to provide semi interactive sessions that not only explain how memory works but also actively encourage the practice of using the note taking method & memory techniques
Project-Based Learning: Encourage practical application of knowledge through project-based learning. Gamification & Experiential Learning: Use these techniques to make learning more engaging and fun.
Flipped Classroom & Inquiry-Based Learning: Encourage independent learning and critical thinking through these teaching methods.
Elementary School: Coding & Digital Literacy: Introduce basic coding principles using visual coding platforms. Begin teaching about online safety and basic cybersecurity. Financial Literacy: Teach basic concepts like the value of money, saving, and spending. Potential to introduce the use of real currency and creating student based economy Community Service: Arrange class-based community projects and encourage involvement in community service outside of school. Gardening & Cooking: Teach students about plants, nutrition, and basic cooking skills through a school garden. Literacy & Reading: Develop a reading program that exposes students to a variety of genres. Writing can begin with simple sentences. History: Teach history from a holistic and critical perspective, exploring different cultures and perspectives. Basic Medicine & First Aid: Introduce simple health, hygiene, and basic first aid skills. Physical Education: Encourage a love for physical activity through a variety of engaging games. Emotional Regulation & Healthy Relationships with Technology: Incorporate social-emotional learning and healthy technology use. Leadership: Begin fostering leadership qualities through group activities and responsibility sharing. Self-Defense: Introduce basic safety rules and personal boundaries. Spanish: Introduce basic Spanish vocabulary and phrases, along with exposure to the culture of Spanish-speaking countries. Songs, games, and interactive activities can be used to make learning enjoyable.
Middle School: Coding, Digital Literacy & Practical Engineering: Continue coding education and introduce robotics and basic electronics. Financial Literacy: Start teaching about budgeting, banking, and simple concepts of earning. Potential to introduce the use of real currency and creating student based economy Community Service: Encourage students to plan and lead community service projects, either in groups or individually. Gardening & Cooking: Progress in gardening and cooking skills, introducing sustainability issues. Literacy, Reading, & Writing Skills: Increase complexity of reading and writing assignments. History: Provide more in-depth history education using primary sources and interpretations. Basic Medicine & First Aid: Offer a more detailed course on first aid and health. Physical Education: Introduce a range of physical activities, sports, and body awareness topics. Emotional Regulation & Healthy Relationships with Technology: Develop emotional intelligence skills, mindfulness practices, and education about responsible technology use. Leadership: Teach various leadership styles and emphasize group projects requiring delegation and decision-making. Self-Defense: Continue with more practical self-defense techniques. Study of Government: Begin a foundational study of the local and national government. Teach students about the branches of government, their roles, and how laws are made. Spanish: Continue to build on vocabulary and grammar learned in elementary school. Introduce simple written exercises and encourage basic conversation in Spanish.
High School: Coding, Digital Literacy & Practical Engineering: Offer advanced coding and practical engineering classes, including topics like 3D modeling and advanced electronics.Teach more advanced cybersecurity concepts and ethics of digital communication Gardening & Cooking: As elective courses, delve into advanced topics like food science or agricultural technology. Literacy, Reading, & Writing Skills: Offer a variety of literature courses, creative writing classes, and research-based writing. History: Teach history as a dynamic and interpretive subject, encouraging critical thinking. Basic Medicine & First Aid: Include more advanced first aid, mental health awareness, and basic human anatomy and physiology. Physical Education: Offer a range of athletic options, and include education about exercise science and long-term health benefits. Emotional Regulation & Healthy Relationships with Technology: Provide resources for emotional regulation, advanced mindfulness techniques, and in-depth discussions about technology's role in society. Leadership: Delve deeper into conflict resolution, strategic planning, and ethical leadership, often through real-world applications. Financial Literacy: Start teaching about budgeting, banking, and simple concepts of earning. Potential to encourage student to start their own business or get a job and have students buy things from each other Self-Defense/Mixed Martial Arts: For interested students, offer elective classes in mixed martial arts, fostering physical and mental skills. Study of Government: Expand on knowledge from middle school and introduce international government systems. Discuss the concepts of democracy, socialism, and other forms of government. Involve students in mock debates and simulations, like Model United Nations or Mock Parliament. Study of Politics: Begin a course on political science, covering key political ideologies, parties, and political processes. Discuss current events and involve students in debates and discussions to encourage critical thinking. Creating Change: Introduce a course on social activism and creating change. This can involve studying historical movements for change, understanding how to effect change within a legal framework, learning about peaceful protest, and planning and implementing a small-scale change project within the school or community. Spanish: Continue to deepen knowledge of Spanish. Encourage advanced conversation and written exercises. Students could read Spanish literature or news and discuss in class, fostering language skills and cultural understanding.
This kind of curriculum would be nearly the best, being interdisciplinary, hands-on, and centered around the interests and needs of the students. It would aim to not only equip students with the knowledge and skills they need to succeed in the world, but also ignite their passion for learning and encourage them to continue learning throughout their lives.
But before we’re done one last thing must be covered. How to assess a student's growth because science shows that paper tests are not suited for the task. There are many innovative ways to assess student understanding and skills without relying solely on traditional exams. The methods that could be used include Assessment Methods
Portfolios: Students could compile portfolios of their work, which could include code they've written, projects they've completed, or essays they've written. A portfolio allows students to demonstrate their learning process, their progress over time, and their ability to apply what they've learned in different contexts.
Presentations: Students can demonstrate their understanding of a topic by presenting on it. This could involve presenting a project they've completed, explaining a concept to the class, or debating a topic with classmates.
Peer and Self-Assessment: Students can learn a lot from assessing each other's work or their own work. This can help them develop a better understanding of the assessment criteria and improve their ability to critically evaluate work.
Performance Assessment: In subjects like self-defense, physical education, cooking, or gardening, students could be assessed based on their performance. This could involve demonstrating a technique, completing a task, or participating in a game or competition.
Reflective Journals: Students could maintain journals where they reflect on what they've learned, how they've applied it, and what they still want to understand better. This can give teachers insight into a student's thought process and their understanding of the subject.
Project-Based Assessment: Students can be assessed on the projects they complete, whether individually or in groups. This allows students to demonstrate a range of skills, including knowledge of the subject, problem-solving, creativity, and teamwork.
Community Service Assessment: In addition to the other assessments, teachers can assess students' community service involvement, their planning and leadership skills, as well as their reflections on their experiences.
The emphasis of Knowledge Management Techniques and Memory Techniques in core classes as a standalone session every day would ideally give students a break from traditional instruction and allow them to process and manage their learnings. This can be in the form of group discussions, independent reflection time, or guided activities for planning and organizing their work.

What clever phrase would you love to see her come out wearing?

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

This actually happened in 1992, when I got married. Boy, it’s a doozy. My MIL, we’ll call her Brunhilda of Loonyville, LOVE LOVE LOVED me until….i showed her the engagement ring. Yup, you guess it, my husband is the second of two boys. She refused to go to our wedding shower because her being Italian (her excuse) “it’s bad luck“. The baby shower either! (Several years later). Fast-forward to the day of our wedding. Brunhilda walked into the vestibule of the church, where my sister and the other bridesmaids are with my dad waiting for me to enter. My mother-in-law walked in and, while she was waiting to be sat down, saw my six-year-old niece chewing gum. my mother-in-law decided that she needed to walk over to my niece (in front of her mother) and yell at her for chewing gum in church and told her to spit it out! Then my mother handed her her corsage. which she swiftly threw on the floor and said to my mother “I wanted a wristy corsage!” Next, she ran into my little sister (who has been going to nursing school and was unable to go to the rehearsal dinner the night before) and snapped “ Nice of you to let me know you weren’t coming to the rehearsal dinner.” We had informed my mother-in-law my sister couldn’t make it because she had a nursing test. also, we didn’t do a rehearsal dinner where we needed a number. She chose to have the rehearsal dinner at my least favorite Chinese restaurant. So, no prepaid for meals. Fast forward to the reception where my mother-in-law‘s table is 10 feet directly in my eye view. And she is slumped over on the table, bawling her eyes out as if she is at a funeral and all her friends comforting her. I hated My wedding!
34 years later, she’s 90 and still driving me nuts! I am DEFINITELY Going to heaven!

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

I had always gone through life being confused about empathy. I didn't know why people liked me, or why it felt so hard to share my own emotions and feelings. I always thought people didn't know me or didn't see me. I met him, fell in love with him, and he fell love with me. I let him inside and we bonded. He told me something one day, he said that he liked my "mind thing." I sort of recognized subtly, but the profundity and depth of insight didn't hit me at all, it just passed without much awareness. But the phrase stuck with me, it stuck with him because he said it multiple times.
I had no understanding of myself, but he figured me out long before I did. I was a puzzle to myself that he had already solved, had solved so long ago that he had already changed his own words and behaviors, had already adapted to so completely. Here is the puzzle of me, of our relationship, the dilemma, the question:
If someone is completely and involuntarily mirroring you, will automatically feel what you do, will magnify everything you send to them back more powerfully than you sent it, and you want a relationship filled with happiness, playfulness, romanticism, sentimentality, tenderness, closeness, kindness, caring, warmth, honesty, softness, cuteness, gentleness, and love, what do you do? What is the contents of, the image revealed in a mirror that is placed next to another mirror, if the first mirror is very subtly warped to the prior attributes and very subtly zoomed in, but still is almost entirely a mirror, and the second mirror is free to change its contents?
Yeah, of course. Duh. The solution is obvious. He solved the puzzle on his own, I suppose. It's not that hard if you spell it out, but in order to solve the puzzle you first have to see the shape of it. All he did was take his natural self, his childlike playful bouncy happy excitable self, his loving and warmth and sentimentality and romanticism and dialed it up from like 4 to 11 with me. At some imperceptible point in the relationship it almost suddenly became beautiful, our relationship became beautiful without me knowing how or why or what he was doing. But now I can see exactly what he was doing and why it worked. Why it was always going to work. And boy did it work. It worked like a charm or spell. It's not some magic trick, there's no hidden strings or trap doors or dim light that are spoiled by the knowledge. It's just who I am.
I remember how he could cause my negative emotions to evaporate as if he had flipped a switch or waved a magic wand. Poof. If I was stressed about work, all he would do is instead of getting in about the stressful situation, he would simply acknowledge it and validate it and do something to make me remember who he was or remind me that he loved me. If I was upset, all he had to do was not be more upset than I was, if he could, all he had to do was conjure a little bit of love, the tiniest bit would do, and it would cause the positive feedback loop, the virtuous cycle. It might be something as simple as a hug or a smile. Or he would use a playful tone of voice, and then like a switch I just would be filled with comfort and love for him, absolutely filled to the brim. He could literally conjure that feeling in me so easily. I would melt for him, and I had no idea why, but I wanted it to happen so badly, and it did. When he wanted to celebrate something, he would act outrageously excited, he would practically jump up and down, he would clap really fast, he would say "Yay!". I thought he was letting his inner child out, and he was, but it was because of me that he could do that, it was me that was being so safe and flexible and magnifying it for him in that space. I couldn't help but smile at him.
I never knew what he loved about me, even if he told me, but now I see. He solved the puzzle, and now I know how. It's empathy.

Hi! All right, I’ll try to keep it as short as I can (didn’t work, don’t mind me)
First. Into mbti for 3 years. each time each year (or more often) I will have “wait… types exist. Am I really…?” and then I’m gone. Had I read theory? No. Theory is too boring. I want to know my type, not to be an mbti researcher. Didn’t ask + who cares (if I have this knowledge or no basically)
Second. I use short phrases here. IRL I’m the most talkative blah blah blah person ever and don’t use dots in sentences. I just kinda use my brain now to make my long thought process into general concrete points. It’s hard to say if I’m lengthy or short actually. I have thoughts. I have ability to shorten them. I use it at times of need.
Third. (it’s all in letters bc I want to be original). Mistyped (or not!?!? omg) as INTP. ALWAYS. PRETTY EVERYWHERE? I have ADHD. But I also slept for 3 hours before exam and was studying in the bus (calculated risk based on the fact that I will remember most info this way). Thought I am ENTP. Don’t vibe with INTP vibes AT ALL. a lot of ENTP characters behave literally like me (in the sense of the same outward self-expression and charisma combined with the fact that they aren’t all touchy feely and are composed thinkers)
Fourth. Why the hell ENTJ? Answer: It’s complicated. I know I have Te, Ni, Fi, Se. In what order? - … The explanation of ISFP’s suited me a lot. And I was “wait, but… even if I have such intense emotions I’m mostly logical?” ”But I’m not INTJ, I suck at chess and this thorough thinking. I would rather play randomly because the person in front of me isn’t a champion”. Sakinorva breaks me and I break it (Ti>Ni>Ne>Fi>Se=Te>Fe>Si). Generally until I started typing this I never knew that achieving is my main mode, and I become emotional only in Fi-grip and start to suddenly feel like I hurt everyone around me by being too harsh or I just feel like everything hurts me instead. That’s why I was so “I am ISFP!” lately but here I finally kinda managed it and it makes sense. I related a lot to ISFP and explanation of them in stress but ends upI relate even more to ENTJ explanation under stress LOL. I also tried to see some replies from ENTJ’s at places and I love their type of rationality I can connect with them (since childhood I tend to perceive people as being absolutely dumb even if they have 500 IQ and say smart thoughts, because my inner self always replies with ”ok, and?” and I had the same thing with other NT subreddits to be fair)
Five. I’m finishing, you can think about fish for now. Idk how much this post says about me because before typing this out thrice I didn’t knew I could be ENTJ and I just researched on the spot. If I am still not really NT-like ; okay, I know that there are S F stereotype things just as well as women being often considered as being not NT even if they are, and that NT’s are rare (and already too much people are NT). I embraced it already and found ISFP as my first goal but after seeing some logical inconsistencies and NOTICING THAT I’M SAD CURRENTLY? I am more confident that ENTJ it is. If I am not - just save me from this hell and tell me that I am a kind and considerate ISFP and I feel very bad when I need to comply with reality’s logic rules (it doesn’t work because when I’m not stressed unfortunately I don’t care so much about what I feel. Love art though). Generally, doesn’t being claimed as non-human as child for trying to help people and bring your trouble-shooting to the table sound very ENTJ instead of ISFP, no? I’m sure NTP’s have that too but I always related more to Fi than Fe, hence conflict is that my feelings were hurt and not that i sensed feelings of the group. Just as Ti never “clicked” as when I research I know explicitly why and where I will use what I have (I have even reasoning for learning MBTI if you ask!)
So, in the end. I feel like I never achieve anything while people look at me in shock, I was terrible as a child and understood that people, like, feel things and don’t live like I do (they really didn’t know what they were doing) only as early teen. I’m an awful person at some stress happening because it will switch me into absolute logic mode where instead of normally being chill and enjoying things unfold I will get the sense that I need to do 100 things or I’m done and after I don’t? Please don’t talk to me. Ever again. I am now a poor artist nobody gets me my life was full of misery and lie. Please ask me some questions and tell if this thing sounds correct, as I learned my childhood mistakes I’m good now!!

For me, I have always been monogamous and have wondered if I was Demisexual, because the last time I remember looking at someone and getting horny was during first puberty, but since then I had been in a relationship(s) for so long that I never really needed to think about it very closely, at least recently.
However, after a year into my transition and going onto dating apps, feeling Demisexual has never felt more right. Since starting HRT my sexual libido has tanked, and I have to force myself just to perform "maintenance" as to not lose functionality (which I don't really have dysphoria about). I don't look at someone and want to shag, I need to establish an emotional connection before I even feel like that about anyone; in effect, it's much easier to flirt with your existing friend network because you have already laid the groundwork for an emotional relationship than it is to flirt with someone who might end up having undesirable values to yours. However, I don't personally think this is a great idea, for the same reason you shouldn't do that at work either, the phrase "don't shit where you eat" comes to mind.
What complicates matters further is, especially so, being queer does seem, at least on the surface, that lots are interested in polyamory. That's great if you can make it work but, I've spent a lot of soul searching and reading Polysecure/Polywise and The Ethical Slut (I can say with confidence that I would not even remotely consider myself a slut, with the way this book talks about sex), and trying to understand what it's like to feel compersion and so on first hand, and yes, skill issue i suppose, it just triggers me instead. So, being a gay trans person who is only interested in monogamy and also isn't into one-night-stands whatsoever, I end up feeling like an outlier of an outlier. Don't get me wrong, I like sex, it's fun, but I have zero interest in sharing myself in that way with someone I barely know. This makes me feel even more alone than I typically feel from being trans to begin with.
So of course, it seems to me like there's two choices; I can either force myself to have sex with people I don't give a shit about in the off chance someone actually wants to take a chance on me, effectively suppressing my values I am unlikely to change (especially considering the fact I am already making massive changes to myself just to transition, putting to rest the idea of "if they could they would" which, to be honest I don't really want to because I don't see my current thinking as incorrect), or the other choice is to just simply be comfortable with the fact that I will probably end up dying alone because my values are too abnormal from the rest of the group.
One person suggested "well if you were straight, then you would probably have a better chance of a monogamous relationship as a trans woman" and I thought about that for a while and decided that is unlikely to ever happen. I've never been into men, I find the idea of sex with one to be a turnoff. I love hearing about trans folks finding their sexuality because it sounds so dynamic and that they're having fun, but transitioning just made me more sure about only being attracted to women. Still, I applaud my peers for exploring themselves and finding out what works for them, but I just can't relate. Slut era? No thanks. I'm in my cuddle and play boardgames era and maybe we have sex like once or twice a week. Can anyone else relate, or am I just truly weird?

Hi everybody, aspiring translator here, and French native.
I already speak English, and the next 5 years in uni will solidify that. However, I now have to pick 2 other languages to study , which are supposed to become part of my working roster once I graduate. I set my sights on Chinese. But when it comes to the 2nd language... I genuinely can't decide between German and Russian. I've combed through 100+ topics on Reddit and Quora, dabbled in both, and still genuinely can't decide, so I'm asking you guys for help.
TL;DR at the end of this wall of text ;)
Professional Aspects
Russian would give me the edge of knowing 4 of the 6 official UN languages at the end of my studies, and since I already have solid bases in Spanish, getting to 5 would be fairly easy.
On the other hand, European Institutions mostly seek translators for European languages, and as such Russian would be largely irrelevant. Chinese will still be somewhat useful I think, due to China being the #1 economic partner of the EU, but Russian doesn't hold quite that weight. So in regards to EU institutions, German would likely serve me much better.
Furthermore, freelance opportunities wise, German appears to be quite a bit more sought after, and pays better in terms of rate.
German speaking countries have much bigger economies, the GDP of Germany on its own is already double that of Russia. Moreover, Germany is France's top 1 business partner. Russia doesn't even make it to the top 10. Which once again suggests a bigger pool for opportunities.
Add the current politocal climate, and most indicators point to German being the better professional choice.
https://preply.com/en/blog/lucrative-languages-2023/
According to this article, Russian doesn't land in the top 10 by pay/demand, neither in the US, nor in the UK.
Difficulty
According to my research, since I already speak English and French, German should take moderate effort. The FSI estimates hang around 750 hours for German. That same organization puts Russian at 1100 hours.
According to my research, Russian grammar is widely considered to be an absolute nightmare to deal with (so is German grammar, but not quite to the same extent).
From my very surface level dabbling, I've found Russian immensely easier and more intuitive to pronounce. German takes a lot of conscious effort and feels very unnatural, my jaw and tongue legit feel sore after a while.
Having studied Ancient Greek, declensions aren't all that daunting. I have a pretty solid grasp of the concept, but they do take some conscious effort to use when speaking orally and due to how liberally Russian uses them, it may become an issue. German being generally easier means it'd be easier to combine with learning Chinese without damaging one or the other too bad.
Personal Affinity
I have a major love & hate dynamic with Russian. I am OBSESSED with the way Russian sounds. I'm not exaggerating whatsoever when I say it's the most elegant language I've ever heard. The only one I think could compete is Greek. I've been listening to Russian music for years, I often set some of my games in Russian just for the sake of hearing it.
But I have no interest in Russia's culture or history whatsoever. In fact, being part of a group that's actively hated by the average Russian, I have major issues with it. I've seen too much shit that completely destroyed any kind of appreciation I may have had for Russia as a country. I find little meaning in sinking so much time in learning to communicate with people who won't want to be associated with me and wouldn't care if I live or die. The russian litterature holds little appeal to me so that's not a good motivator either.
I don't see myself ever stepping foot in Russia for more than a tourist stay of 1 or 2 weeks, and I feel that such lack of engagement with native speakers has the potential to truly ruin my ability to get and maintain a good level in the language.
When it comes to Russian, my sole motivator is genuinely how cool it sounds, and how I'd love to be able to speak it. Except speaking it may even take that away from me, since finding meaning in it may ruin its melody.
As for German... I used to think it sounded horrible. Until I actually got exposed to it. Now I think it sounds badass af. Not half as cool as Russian/Greek, but cool enough that I'd enjoy learning and speaking it.
I don't feel any particular pull towards German culture, but as opposed to Russia, I could 100% picture myself living in a German speaking country for a few years. I'll also have a much easier time finding and engaging with natives.
Other aspects I'm considering
German has less speakers, and most native German speakers are competent English speakers, which limits the usefulness of German.
Russian speakers on the other hand are less proficient in English, but Russian is actively loosing influence as a language, with most of the former USSR countries completely dropping Russian. It's no longer anywhere near a Lingua Franca in Eastern Europe, and considering Russia's birthrate...
One specific thing though, is the relative lack of Russian dialects compared to the absolutely ludicrous amount of German dialects, a good chunk of which are only somewhat intelligible.
TL;DR:
Pros of Russian: Huge fan of the language itself and how it sounds, more native speakers, more niche, easier to pronounce, I consume more Russian media, less English proficiency amongst Russian speakers, lack of dialects
Cons of Russian: More difficult, less opportunities as a whole, appears to be actively loosing influence, lack of interest in Russian culture if not outright distaste for it
Pros of German: Significantly easier, more opportunities, I'm significantly more open to German culture and values leading to more chances for interaction and stays in German speaking environments.
Cons of German: I enjoy the way it sounds less, less speakers as a whole, very high english proficiency amongst native speakers, relative lack of interest in German media production, large amounts of dialects
Writing all of this honestly made me realize I kind of already know the answer, I just have a tough time fully accepting it. Still feeling a bit of a pinch at the prospect of not learning Russian, but maybe for me it's one of those things that are best left admired from a distance.

I just don’t understand. I’m not trying to hate on him, because I love his post game analysis, but I see complaints on twitter about him to all the time so I know it’s not just me. His play by play is so dry and his home run calls are awful. And if I have to hear him say the phrase “goes about his business” one more time, I’m going to have to watch the games he does on mute.
There are just so many better options out there…

Is it possible to eat healthy and eat the foods i love? I love a good fast food run, a good Chinese take out, like I don’t want to leave those foods completely but at the same time, when i get a craving i tend to go over board and i will order more than what i want because i just want to try something i haven’t tried. It’s like i have a drug addiction, and if that’s the case should i just get to a place where i completely cut it out?
My goal is to eat well regularly, and if i could id choose to eat out maybe once a month?

TL;DR: PLEASE READ THE LN!!!
I've always had an obsession over manhwa and manga (especially OI), and I was especially intrigued because how polarizing people's opinions were on it. I love my fair share of angst and trauma porn and toxicity, and although I dig through all the webtoon and manga trash out there, even I have lines I don't cross/tolerate, and series I drop. Especially with abusive/toxic couples, shit story, lack of development, lack of realism, lack of respect, misogyny, repetitive tropes, etc. But I always give everything a try (even trashy sexist smuts or Chinese manhuas)
But please I IMPLORE you: give the light novel of [My Beloved Oppressor] a read. The manhwa is great and beautiful, but doesn't do the story as much justice with how many details and emotional nuances that are left out. It's so rushed too.
I just finished and I am clutching my pears, biting my fist, sobbing my eyes out, and screaming.
I came for toxic hot trash and irredeemable black haired MLs and timid FLs to rag on, but actually got pretty hooked and teary from these 20 manhwa chapters. I saw on this reddit a great free place to read quality translations at: https://www.patreon.com/collection/188783?view=expanded
I do not ever read LNs for even my top-tier SSS class manhwas, but I had an unusual pull into these characters' lives and story. And thus I began to spiral with these characters.
To avoid spoilers, I wasn't expecting the development of the story, and I truly felt like I was going through the same life-changing rollercoaster as the characters. Not just the FL and ML but the world, setting, side characters, etc. the story is well thought out, detailed, BEAUTIFULLY written and expressed, and I literally felt like I was being sucker punched at some parts I was almost nauseous and disoriented. I could clearly picture scenes with such an artistic vivid imagination and suffered to many emotions throughout the reading.
My tissues are soaked with hot tears, and yet at the end I feel so unbelievably hurt and yet whole from the entire LN. The side stories and ending seriously felt so complete, and I felt there weren't any loose ends besides maybe some parts of the MLs past and whatnot, but I never said this series was perfect. I am very satisfied after, although I feel so impacted.
But they felt like fleshed out characters that I can't bring myself to love or hate, and I just want them find peace and happiness. I love how the FLs draws her line and doesn't just come running back to the ML when he's all ghastly and begging forgiveness. And he honestly doesn't do too much annoying begging and obsessing. He does try his best to separate them and to just love her from the shadows and be respectful of her wishes, although he's horrified of the thought of her killing herself while out. Even if not perfectly or at first. He also doesn't just leave his duties to some poor assistant side character, or completely neglect his role as the commander. In fact, he drowns in it since he feels it's the best thing he can do for her (bring peace and end the war and make a better place for her to live). It's my pet peeve when MLs abandon their jobs/duties over their loss of the FL and the company/empire/whatever they're running suffers from his emotional outbursts and grief over her while he's got bags under his eyes and has sexy shot of him with alcohol and cigarettes lmao.
The MLs development is truly such a breath of fresh air. I can understand his fucked up mentality and obsession, his self-deprication, self-destructive nature, and inferiority, and so on. And the FL isn't some pushover smiley happy Mary Sue. She has her flaws and confronts them throughout the story, and she's not some completely innocent perfect victim either. She really grows so much and I love how she interacts with Heiner. She really recognizes how unhealthy his 'love' is until he fully recognizes his feelings and perspective.
They get dirty and scarred, fight and argue, have unbearably sweet moments that made me want to burst, and gut wrenching parts that made me have to set me phone down. The insight the LN gives to Annette and Heiner's thoughts and feelings is on a whole different level.
For the homies who already read all of the LN too: First of all, Catherine supremacy for life. They were a fleshed out family with feelings, and not some tool or stepping stone for Annette like other runaway FLs after escaping or divorce.
Can't stress enough how the story doesn't just tunnel vision on the main couple too. Side characters are part of the story and make big impacts. Even the sniper at the church who got his face mauled is who saved her life in the fire. And even Catherine (in the side stories) would give it to Heiner over the phone and he'd reflect on himself. Even the guy who ratted Annette out while she was staying with them post-divorce showed up again when he lost his legs in battle and they had a moment together.
Annette's descent into depression was depicted so realistically it hit too close to home. The memory loss, handwriting and dexterity degradation, and her reaction to the miscarriage felt too real. So often depictions can feel too cheap or shallow. I was horrified by her suicide attempts but could completely put myself in her shoes. But it just doesn't go away quickly either, she does struggle with it and taking care of herself, or having the motivation to recover or do therapy to improve her ruined left hand after the church collapse
>!But seriously, the war church fire incident and the piano was seriously immaculate. The references to the Saint mural and glimpses to the past that reminds me of how far we've come and how much of her life has changed, Joseph, and the piano-playing scene. The shaken feelings of the enemy troops and battle with morality, that moment of pure serenity, I was so absorbed. I mean the play that the piano and music had in her journey and the story too was so tasteful.
And oh my God the ending with the title meaning reveal- I seriously thought it was another shitty toxic title but it was actually the name of the song Heiner fell in love with before he met her... and the one she played that lured him in. And what a switch around because I always assumed the ML was the oppressor in question, but really it was the FL to him because how much she engulfed his life. They even address in the story how her love is spread between so many things (piano) and people, and Heiner has nothing but her.!<
It's really such a tragedy that his innocent youthful crush became such a a double edged serrated knife. So obsessive and convoluted, and he created a cult-like worship of a fictional version of her in his head >! through extreme torture... I mean that kind of disassociation was literally the only way he could survive. Plus how could someone raised the way he was understand love and how to give/receive it? !<
I'll stop rambling here for now but guys please comment or something, I have so many feelings after reading the LN I NEED to talk more about it with someone 😭

To whom it may concern,
Shalom. Introductions aside, just know that I am a hardcore gamer who has pristine observation skills. I wanted to take it upon myself to give a comprehensive Tier List of the entirety of Chapter 5, Season 2 weapons.
This is not a spreadsheet, no specific mathematical mumbo jumbo needed.
In other words, take my word for it and debate me if you disagree with my tier list for this season.
Additionally, mythic boss weapons are excluded because I judge the weapon classes they belong to holistically. Although mythic weapons do more damage than legendary variants, they are restricted from being customized to preference, thus making the legendary variant of each mythic far superior.
Lastly, there are two honorable mention tiers and this is far from the typical tier list.
Chonk_Lord48's Observations:
Atrocity - Waterbending
S Tier - Thunder Burst SMG, Gatekeeper Shotgun, Ranger Pistol, Cluster Clingers
A Tier - Nemesis AR, Huntress DMR, Hand Cannon, Chain of Hades
B Tier - Warforged AR, Drum Gun, Earthbending
C Tier - Hammer Pump Shotgun, Tactical AR, Airbending, Reaper Sniper Rifle
D Tier - Thunderbolt of Zeus, Firebending
F Tier - Frenzy Auto Shotgun, Chewie's Bowcaster, Darth Vader's Lightsaber
Absurdity - Harbinger SMG, E-11
Reasoning Section
Atrocity - Waterbending is an all encompassing infinite range (it travels past render range) infinite ammo, instant reload super power that will drop any enemy of most skill ranges in exactly two shots. This two shot kill problem is especially a factor when your enemy is using an untraceable form of Zen or Aimbot. Gamers who rely on this atrocious thing to kill or get wins are either inept at the game OR fighting water with water. Thought I would NEVER hear that phrase... Yet it is LITERAL. This weapon should have started and ended with the Avatar: The Last Airbender mini event. This is the second worst decision Epic has ever made, right next to... Well, that's a banned name isn't it... that pleb pleaser from Season X. Waterbending is so broken that it just removes the enjoyment from the game entirely. Even though it is labeled as a mythic rarity item it is far more common than bandages and perhaps more common than most common rarity weapons. Horrendous, absolutely horrendous decision.
S Tier - The Thunder Burst SMG is a phenomenal skill-based weapon that requires precision accuracy to observe the sheer powerhouse of a weapon it is. It has one of the lowest Time To Kill (TTK) in the game due to It's powerful damage output, accuracy, and headshot multiplier (1.76x). It can be used for mid-range combat as well with a modest damage reduction.
The Gatekeeper Shotgun is by far the BEST shotgun ever released in Fortnite History, surpassing the Charge Shotgun class except its Mythic variant. This shotgun excels in point blank range and the TTK is less than two seconds. It has a great spread which provides the opportunity for some guaranteed hits when firing from the hip. When it is aimed down, the spread becomes more precise. Most shotguns do this, yet the Gatekeeper stands out because the choke is not pinpoint accurate (like other failures of a shotgun) and its crosshair fits so nicely around an enemy's head.
The Ranger Pistol has a fast TTK and is damn near the perfection of the Thunder Burst SMG. The two are so similar in damage output, firerate, reload time and range that honestly a player can use either and perform well. When compared to the Warforged AR, it is more accurate, has a higher headshot multiplier, and reloads much faster.
Cluster Clingers were literally the only throwable explosives that did enough damage required to kill. A lethal weapon in the hands of a skilled player. This specific item will forever hold its place as the 'only' explosive throwable item. Be honest, the rest were just gimmicks that were terrible and practically useless. This was the ONLY grenade that actually put enemies back to the lobby. Why it was removed is beyond nonsensical. Anyone who could dare complain about the first (only) grenade that did grenading is... I will say it, part of the Little Timmy community (plebs) that Epic LOVES to humor (I remember Season X well).
Each of these weapons are truly a masterpiece in their class and stand out as among the greatest weapons to ever touch the surface of the game. They do not require attachments to be good. These weapons can be deadly in the hands of players from all skill ranges. From common to legendary or mythic these weapons take the cake as this season's best.
A Tier - The Huntress DMR is the BEST DMR to date. All other DMRs pale in comparison to this one (Looking at you Cobra) because it actually hits targets when you aim and shoot directly at them. This would have been S-Tier but since it requires a specific set of attachments each game to be superior, it cannot be placed there. This weapon shoots the farthest and has little to no bullet drop whatsoever. It is superior to the once great Reaper Sniper rifle and takes the cake as the best long-range choice this season.
Note: Perhaps with the fresh new ballistics system, the Cobra DMR can make a return and actually function properly instead of being exclusive to function on PC.
The Hand Cannon is a re-imagining of one of Chapter 1's best weapons. It is superior to other slow firing, semi-automatic weapons due to its damage output and buffed headshot multiplier. This weapon is exclusive for highly accurate and skilled players which is precisely why it remains in A Tier. It is not universally great (S-Tier), yet it still rewards those with precise aim. The fun with this weapon is that it doubles as a close range defender or a sniper rifle depending on attachment preference. When modded to be a long-range weapon it should be noted that it has less bullet drop than the Reaper Sniper Rifle. The other optimization is the classic one which can be done with an optic attached or not. When used in this classic form, it outclasses the Hammer Pump Shotgun entirely. It does more headshot damage and less body shot damage, sure, but at least significant damage is guaranteed since spread is not a factor.
The Nemesis AR is a powerhouse of a weapon as well which is surprisingly accurate for its high damage output and adequate headshot multiplier. It has a fast TTK and requires little investment to be superior to other weapons in its class.
The Chain of Hades is not an an atrocity. It is very much required to counter and punish enemies who think they are tough guys fleeing from a fight using shockwaves or the wings of Icarus, or even a motorbike. It is fun to use, when it works. This item is prevented from being S-Tier due to the FACT it does not work properly. This weapon has a sweeping animation and must be paired with area of effect damage. The center of the crosshair is NOT the only area of damage. This can be tested and proven by opening a door, aiming in the middle of the doorway, and swinging. You will notice the it does indeed deal damage to the left and right of the crosshair. Sadly, and unsurprisingly, this AOE melee weapon seems to exclusively function properly on PC. When used on PC, this chain causes a stagger that prevents a weapon from firing in a minute instances. That is, each hit when swung, causes an interruption of a weapon firing. This feature is nonexistent on consoles and seems intentional. As for the chain pull, that attack causes stagger universally, which is good.
B Tier - The Warforged AR is decent at best. Even with a legendary properly modded variant, it pales in comparison to the Nemesis AR, which requires little investment to no investment. This weapon had much potential but Epic clealry refuses to allow an S-Tier assault rifle to exist again.
The Drum Gun is yet another re-imagining of one of the greatest weapons to enter the META first debuted in Chapter 1. This version, regardless of attachments, fails to be what it once was. It is about as accurate as the Warforged and also lacks recoil control even with the attachments meant to reduce it.
Earthbending was a failed opportunity for Epic to allow players to have fun with the game. I would have preferred summoning armor on my character (like Toph does in the show) paired with the ability to bull charge into an enemy which would deal an atrocious amount of damage to be equally unfair as Waterbending. Maybe 150 damage or simply an instant KO. Heck if I care you cannot shoot the armor off quick enough to cancel the attack. As for Earthbebding as it was made, the cover provided was stronger than metal, and more reliable than porta bunkers. Long before the time it would take to break the cover, the ability to form another wall is primed and ready. Hurling large, fine cut rock slabs at enemies should have caused a KO in two hits to counter that atrocity not worth my breath anymore.
C Tier - The Hammer Pump Shotgun is just a joke but can still be deadly when paired with an appropriate backup weapon. This weapon could be A-Tier at best when paired with a Thunder Burst SMG or F-Tier at worst when used alone. By that logic, it averages to the middle of the tier list. Oh I miss the days when it just took one skilled shot to send them back to the lobby with the original Pump Shotgun re-imagined in Chapter 1 Season 5. This was arguably the most balanced period in Fortnite's history especially for both SMGs and ARs.
The Tactical AR is yet another re-imagining of one of the greatest weapons. This too pales in comparison to it's predecessor. Even with all necessary attachments on it, it is not the same as before. Period. It does not do enough damage and high a slow TTK. It pales in comparison to both the Thunder Burst SMG and other assault rifles. It fails to be both SMG and AR when it is meant to be a combination of both.
The Reaper Sniper has once graced players inventories as the BEST sniper rifle in Fortnite's history. Once an S-Tier weapon, this powerful sniper rifle has fallen from that status due to Epic's tendency to humor plebeians in the community. It has caused this weapon to become absolutey useless for what it was made for. It does not make any sense at all for this weapon's bullets to have bullet drop before 20m. The projectory of the bullet is flaccid, like to an ED extent. Absolutely an ABSURD choice for long range encounters, period. However, this weapon can surpass even the Hand Cannon as a replacement for a shot gun, slap the proper attachments on play pretend that it is the KSG-12 or a slug round shotgun, then you got yourself an S-Tier shotgun that drops players in ONE shot.
Airbending is not a weapon per se, however it can be used as one to cause a death due to gravity or to prevent vehicles from traveling. It was amazing. I miss it. It was the best movement option that was ever released in the game.
D Tier - Thunderbolt of Zeus had potential to be amazing. It was pathetic compared to cluster clingers and its splash damage seems to be so random that it is unreliable. It is supposed to hit for 40, 40, then 140. Yet my final hit is hitting for 80. I do not understand. Prep time alone makes this weapon a death wish.
Firebending also lack a passive ability and Epic has failed to make this combat-based bending effective. Unless you are staying perfectly still, you will jump around like a maniac and miss all projectiles. Period. Upon release, it dealt barely any damage and Epic did not bother buffing the damage until near the event's conclusion. I should, according to the same broken logic, be able to bend lightning with extreme precision to deal 300+ damage, thus instantly knocking out anyone.
F Tier - The Frenzy Auto Shotgun was once an atrocity and at first got respectfully nerfed. Then Epic nerfed it again to be effective exclusively at less than point-blank range. Any further than 10 meters then you are surely dealing between 10-20 damage IF you are lucky.
The Bowcaster is a failure of what could have been a fun limited time weapon to use. Firstly it animates an AoE per shot regardless of charge and does NOT do splash damage when shot. When charged fully it deals decent damage but then the splash damage is negligible. I am a first hand witness to this bs weapon having splash damage be effective exclusively on PC. I was damaged from about a tile and a half away from the point of impact when at the Dumpen Haussen reboot van. I find it unnerving that some weapons have no polish on console. The Bowcaster when shot semiautomatic is not only supposed to have splash damage but it also fails to deal damage in general. This weapon suffers the Cobra DMR curse where if you aim directly at an enemy and HIT them, it does no damage or just goes right through them or it is just rubber bullets or blanks. As for the bowcaster, it is as if the laser goes directly through the enemy causing no damage whatsoever. This does not happen on PC. To my knowledge, Epic intentionally caters to this SMALL percentage of the community.
Darth Vader's lightsaber is just bad compared to the chain. The chain is in an entirely different class. The lightsaber lacks damage output and is trash at blocking waterbending. The guard is easily broken. Without a pool of lightsabers to choose from that have powers per color. The other powers would have been perfect counters to the chain of hades. Push em off or pull them down or towards. Amazing, is what it would have been.
Absurdity Tier - The E-11 is canonically accurate, how ironic. Nuff said. No wonder the Storm Troopers could never hit their shots.
The Harbinger SMG was supposed to fix Epic's failure last season, the Hyper SMG. Both are absurdities and should NEVER be picked up in any circumstance. You would fair better throwing grass at your enemies. The Harbinger SMG is outclassed in DPS by EVERY other light ammo weapon option, EVER, not just this season. It is BEYOND a failure which is why it takes its rightful place here. It is to NEVER be relied on. You will surely die faster by any other weapon in the game. Even at legendary rarity optimized for hipfire or ADS the gun is inaccurate regardless of the player using it. Both the E-11 and the Harbinger SMG are universally repulsive and fail to be a weapon (by definition) in the hands of any player.
Conclusion
These are my expert observations on what is, can be, and is not effective in the current META. Please feel free to debate these claims, if you can.
Thanks and God bless you all,
Chonk_Lord48

I (19F)met my ex ( 19M) 2 years ago and had a rocky relationship with him.I had been dealing with a very hard time in my life and he was everything I have wanted in life at that point.I was 17 who never had a proper relationship at that point,so I was intrigued.
When happy phase ended after 5 months,I started to saw the red flags.He was childhish.He would just coldly broke up with me,saying that he didn’t love me anymore and next day,he would come back crawling,saying sorry,crying.At that point,I did not know any better,so I tolareted this behaviour.
We dated for a year after this After the uni acceptance exam I was screwed up.İt meant I had to take again next year. He basically told me that he was going to university and didnt want to deal with a high school graduate while he was off to another city,saying he wanted to live a “uni life” and dumped me in cold blood again.I found out he met someone that day and gave his Instagram and that was why he dumped me.He even described this girl as “drop dead gorg,made me forget my gf lmao”in his groupchat
I was heartbroken.Crushed all over and did not want to leave my room for a whole week and crying all day. This is when my best friend(19M)comes to story.Let’s call him Edgar. He was there for me.
Edgar and I have dated back in middle school when both 14.We were kind of that silly childhood sweethearts who randomly name their imaginary child.We broke up but wanted to stay in touch,so we decided on staying friends.We quickly got comfortable and even called each other “best friend”.We never lost touch and were always close.My boyfriend knew aboout us and claimed he had no issues,said he respected our friendship and even met him on my birthday.
Edgar was there for me when my boyfriend dumped me and basically dragged me outside when I did not want to leave my room.We spent time together which helped me heal a lot but I can’t deny that he was getting more touchy than ever (without being sexual and unappropriate) and always said phrases like “if we were 14 right now”or “if we were back to middle school,what would you do?”
That being there,my ex reached out to me and quickly started trying to reconcile.He was trying nonstop and bombarding with me with all the apologies.I am an idiot for this but I once again took him back. But it only got worse from there.
He was getting better and I was starting to notice that he was more serious about our relationship,was more warm and but I had trust issues now.
We had a fight when his family didn’t want to meet me.Appearantly,his mother hadnt even met his sister’s boyfriend (40F)because she did not think marriage.I found this off since we were fresh 18 back then and barely adults and had a huge fight about it.So,I invited Edgar to my place to talk and rant to him.
Drinks were involved and we ended up sleeping together that night which was my first time.I would never try to justify my cheating but I felt like he brought me back to life that night and felt an immense connection to him.Maybe,it had been there all the time?
I couldn’t keep it and came clean about everything to my boyfriend.He was furious but decided to forgive me.
Me and Edgar never talked about that night and had a fight over some trivial matter and hadnt speak for 9 months.Meanwhile I continued to date my boyfriend but I just felt so empty and really missed Edgar.My boyfriend always knew. 9 months later;everything started to clear up.We broke up with my ex after dating almost 2 years and we even made up with Edgar
Well,we are trying to make it work.We have our problems after 5 years of being friends and suddenly getting into a relationship but it is great.I love him and he has became my everything. I quess it was just meant to be.Me and him.
We had date and I decided to post it but my ex’s bff saw and sade it to him
He was angry and started to roast me on his WP status,calling me names,posting edgy/angry musics and making his friends comment mean things to my post.
I reached out to him and told him to get over it and he got even more angry,told me I am a cheating bed toy who deserves all the bad things in life.
I just dont understand this reaction when he LİTERALLY did cheat on me too and forgave me after mine too?And even knew he knew I had never gotten over that night with Edgar
Comments are getting mean but he refuses to get over it. So yeah,this is my story.