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I'm writing this hopefully help start my progress towards recovery.
I've been watching porn and such since I was 14 or 15 and m*sturbating just about once everyday. I don't remember how or why I started or when it started to get worse but I want to stop starting today. I've realized that porn has basically take over my life and made all my anxiety, depression, and everything else much worse plus I've been neglecting responsibilities I have in life.
I took a big step today in not just realizing the issues I have but I've also deleted all the porn I had saved on my phone. I also deleted any porn or similar site from my internet so I don't get tempted.
I want to make myself better and I want to make sure I don't screw up my relationship with my family or my partner.
Thank you all for reading and any advice or support will be greatly appreciated cause I know this will be a long road ahead.

I've got severe adhd, let's just start there. And it's made learning how to code and making ANYTHING a giant pain in the butt. But one of the things I know would help was if I didn't also have a part time job I had to go to in the middle of the day in order to be able to eat. My brain doesn't take interruptions well. If I had the whole day and I said I need to just sit down and focus on this topic, even if all I did was watch game jam videos or pixel art design tutorials, that would still be better than what happens when I try to 'focus' after being drained from this job I loath. I just end up on my phone with a video or python shell open on my pc screen. So how do people do it? How do you just learn this stuff and then make games and still afford to eat and have a home?

My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL; DR : Do you think therapy will help?

Hi everyone, I'm josh and I'm 27 and from the UK 🇬🇧.
I have used reddit a number of years ago and have no idea what my log in is so am having to make a new one 🙃
I'm just looking for some cool people to talk with on a daily basis to pass the time.
I welcome anyone to chat, even if you believe the earth is flat I promise to only judge you silently 😂
A few interests would be anime, football, tattoos as I have a few and I'm always down to see pics of your pets :) I have 2 dogs myself.
Guys/girls/ they/them, whatever you identify as I don't mind, as long as you can hold a conversation then we should chat:)

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Hi Reddit,
I can’t believe I’m writing this post, but this has been on my mind for the past few months and I really need some external input. I need help to figure out if I’m in a toxic relationship, if there’s something I can do to fix it, if I’m over sensitive, or is it time for me to end this?
Context: I (M26) and my girlfriend (F25) have been together for 2.5 years, and known each other for 8 years. We both live in the U.S. but I’m from Europe and she’s from Central America, met in college. Issues started 2 years ago but when things are good she’s amazing (funny/beautiful/caring/makes me feel unconditionally loved/etc) and I always thought the issues were friction we could iron out together. With time I have grown increasingly skeptical of that. This is my first relationship (longer than 3 months) so at the same time I’m worried that maybe I am overly skeptical, that I only see my perspective and fail to see hers. I want to be fair to her, because I love her and care deeply for her as a person, I am just starting to resent the relationship.
History of issues: To me the issues are all centered in my girlfriends anxiety. Frequently, rather than being vulnerable, she projects her anxiety on me and accusing me of all kinds of things. I have both tried to shake off those moments, to recognize that this isn’t her but her anxiety talking, but it still affects me deeply. Not only when it occurs, but when I am doing something and she seems fine I still worry that maybe I will do something wrong and she will snap and this moment will turn to a life or death situation. I have also obviously communicated my concern over this behavior repeatedly, and every time after she takes things too far she apologizes and takes ownership and we come up with a strategy to avoid the issue from repeating. This all sounds very healthy, I think, but the problem is that we’ve had these issues and conversations 25+ times and here we still are. Some things have gotten better for sure but it still feels unbearable to me. Let me provide three examples to illustrate our issues (from my perspective).
Example 1 - 1.5 years ago: My best friend and I were victims of attempted robbery from people affiliated with organized crime, the event went to court, and after the trial we wanted to get away from everything. My girlfriend and I had planned to go to a Caribbean island shortly after, so I invited my friend to come a week before my girlfriend and leave the day she arrived. We were both pretty shaken up and just wanted to talk things out and enjoy a tropical paradise. The first night my friend and I arrive (girlfriend still in the US) she starts texting fervently that my friend and I shouldn’t see any of the sights so she and I can see them together for the first time. I get where she’s coming from but this is also a challenging time for me and my best friend so I am not willing to completely sacrifice his week with me to appease my girlfriend. Things escalate and she demands my attention all the time. When my friend and I is out she is calling me 50+ times in a row, texting me that if I love her I would respond and that I am ruing hers and mine vacation and though I’m trying to deescalate I don’t see how to. I end up turning off my phone, although she begs me not to, but I’m still in my head unable to enjoy the night. When I turn my phone back on next day there’s a picture of herself with a cut (very shallow but still) saying I made her do this. This event is the low point of our relationship, and I told her if she ever hurts herself or threatens to hurt herself I’m out, and to be fair to her she has not once since hurt herself. Nonetheless, the calls continue after this (50+ a day) and I spent 3-4h a day on the phone with her and neglecting the trip with my best friend. Damn writing this out really makes me ashamed for not standing my ground back then. Anyways, this really colored the trip with my childhood friend and I think I still resent myself and her for making that happen.
Example 2 - 0.5 years ago: I visited a close childhood friend in South America for 2.5 weeks. Because of the events that transpired in example 1, my girlfriend was nervous for my trip. She expressed worry that she would act out in the same way as my last trip. I really appreciated this self-awareness. We therefore talked extensively about how to avoid issues. The first few days were alright, with her being anxious but being vulnerable about it and we managed well, calling once a day and texting 15-20 messages a day (more than I’d want, but that’s a compromise I’m okay with). At this point I make a mistake, but her reactions to it is (in my head at least) not proportional. I told her I was going out with my friend and his friend that weekend, and she expressed that this would make her anxious that I would cheat on her. So I asked what can I do, and we decided I’d send her a text once I left the pre-game, once I left the club, and call her once I got back to my friends place. A little bit much I thought, but I love her so a fair compromise for now. Unfortunately, I got caught up in the moment at the pre-game, and forgot to text my girlfriend. I realized as I was walking home from the club with 25+ missed calls and a bunch of emotional messages about how I forgot because I was around beautiful women and how I don’t love her. Here I understand her pain. She was vulnerable, I agreed to a compromise and I didn’t fulfill my end. 25+ calls is never productive but hey I had some blame here. The following day I call her for 1.5 hours apologizing and we talk things out, and it feels like though she is feeling anxious that she accepts my apology and we have now managed to resolve my mistake. The same night my friend and his friends are going to someone else’s house for a BBQ (which I told my girlfriend about days before). An hour before we are about to leave my girlfriend starts telling me to talk to her on the phone, because I hurt her so bad and when I say I can’t because we are 10 people having a beer before we head out she says she doesn’t care and that I hurt her and now she “wants to make my life miserable”. I tell her “hey I understand you’re upset but I never want to hear those words from the person I love. I know I hurt you but never intentionally”. She says she doesn’t care and keeps calling me non-stop for 40 minutes and I’m worried that if I don’t pick up she will start to call my friend. I try to deescalate and beg her to take a step back and that she is pushing me away by doing this. The whole thing culminates by me getting out of the Uber towards the barbecue and telling my friends that I think my girlfriend and I are breaking up and I need to deal with it. I am crying as I say this and feel so damn embarrassed. Even writing it now I can’t believe this actually happened. Damn. Anyways, as soon as I tell her that I am no longer going to the bbq and I left my friends car she becomes a different person (the person I love) and tells me she is so sorry and realize she took it too far and begs me to order an Uber to the BBQ. She says she’ll pay for it and begs me to go. At that point I’m just so embarrassed at the whole thing and tell her something along the lines of “why the fuck did you push me this far then. I told you you are pushing me away”. I head home, and wonder how someone who loves me so much can intentionally cause me so much harm and I seriously begin to doubt if her and I will ever work. I tell her I don’t think I want to be in the relationship, but that I recognize I’m emotional so I need 7 days without contact to process my thoughts. I won’t block her, but if she reaches out I will. She does reach out (albeit with a nice message) but I still block her.
I probably should have left the relationship here, but damn I love her, we live together, and at this point she was depending on me for her visa to stay in the country. I don’t want to rip all that apart from her. So I say I don’t know if we’ll ever feel okay, but I’m willing to give this one last chance.
To her defense, she take a lot of new steps at this point. She tells her mom and sister everything that happened (including her trust issues and jealousy), she starts with anxiety medication and starts being more vulnerable with her therapist. I am still skeptical that things will actually be okay, but I recognize the effort she puts in and I really appreciate it. The frequency of our arguments decrease, and more disputes now end before they become arguments.
Example 3 - Yesterday: My GF flew to Vegas with three of her girlfriends (I know two of them very well) and I know it’s a high risk trip for someone in a relationship but I honestly have complete trust in my GF. I decided to do a dinner with 3 of my friends (who my GF knows equally well, we’re all in a group chat together and do things regularly together) and they invited a 4th person who was part of our sports team (my girlfriend met her 2-3 times, just like me).
She texts me from Vegas asking who’s coming to the dinner and once she finds out this 4th person is coming she asks nicely if we cannot be in someone else’s apartment. When I say hey I’m sorry but I already said we could be at my place she asks at least don’t smoke weed together (my friends are stoners so 100% chance they’ll bring weed), and I say “I’m sorry but I won’t tell them not to and I’ll join In too if they bring it but you have nothing to worry about. I love you and I’ll call you as soon as they leave?” My girlfriend then goes into panic mode and calls me nonstop throughout dinner. I go to the bathroom and begs her to stop, tells her she is ruining this for me, and ask her to trust me. She still calls nonstop until they leave. I try to keep a brave face but again it really ruins the dinner for me.
At this point I have told her how actions like these makes me feel uneasy and prevents me from enjoying life. I told her I need her to trust me. I told her that I won’t have it anymore. And if anything the idea that she doesn’t trust me around 3 people she knows well with a 4th stranger while she’s at a pool party in bikini in Vegas just seems so hypocritical it makes me ever more frustrated.
In her defense: - Her dad cheated multiple times while she was growing up. I understand this makes it excruciatingly difficult to trust a partner. - She started seeing a therapist ~8 months ago. - She now takes medication for her anxiety. - She now has told her mom and sister about her trust issues for the first time in her life. - She began attending codependency meetings regularly. - She says she doesn’t want me to limit my life just for me to communicate better what I’m doing (I think it’s really possible that I’m bad at communicating, because to me this request feels like it comes from a lack of trust).
She is putting in immense effort, but I just feel like I can’t do this anymore. Even when things are good I’m worried that she’s going to explode and that prevents me from enjoying the good times too. I love her and she’s amazing in many ways, but I don’t like feeling responsible for her suffering. I know that by trying to end things she’s going to suffer so much and she’ll beg me to give her another chance. I don’t want to but in those moments I feel like she’s the rational version of herself and that maybe she’ll never explode again. Can I solve my relationship with her? Is it time to leave? Is it fair to leave when she is putting in so much effort? How do I find the courage to go through with it?
Thanks so much in advance, and I’m sorry for such a lengthy post.
TL;DR: I’m I overly sensitive, can this relationship be fixed, or is it time to breakup? Is it fair to breakup if the other person is putting so much effort in?

But even typing this, it doesn’t feel real. I still have hope tonight that he can change. I feel so stupid.
I am 38F and he is 39M.
I am devastated. I would do anything and everything to be married forever, but it’s no longer an option and hasn’t been since the fourth month of our marriage. I was 8 weeks pregnant with his child and he assaulted me with a metal cup in the car while he was driving on the freeway because I wouldn’t stop saying why he was upsetting me. The fight continued when we got home and he had called the police, lied to them and had me arrested. Eight weeks pregnant. With bruises up and down my body. I got arrested. I spent the night in jail and had to listen to my baby’s heartbeat for the first time from a county jail exam table.
Somehow, through that, we stayed married. Abuse makes you do wild things. It changes your brain. Abusers purposely make you confused. Through counseling, I am coming out of the confusion now, though.
I could go on and on about the abuse I have suffered. I am here today because typing this makes it real that I am leaving. And I am here today because I need support in understanding that he is not going to change.
This morning things escalated by 8am. This is typical weekend behavior. I discovered that he has been smoking cigarettes in one of the vehicles that is in my name and that I pay for, and that I have asked him not to smoke in repeatedly. I do not smoke. I think it’s gross. And it has ruined the interior of this vehicle that is expensive. Not only that, but our child has asthma. Most likely because he IS a smoker. Anyway, I grabbed something out of the vehicle for his 6yo and I came back in and simply said “please don’t smoke in the truck anymore. Please don’t tell me that you haven’t been either.” This sent him into a spiral. He called me names and said that I am controlling. He started following me around the house screaming behind my head. He is nearly a foot taller than me and this is physically intimidating to me. So much so that my hands start to shake, my heart races and my thoughts become blurry when he does this. I knew at this point it was best for me to get our child and leave. So I was doing that. But this morning he would not let me leave the bedroom and was blocking me from leaving with our child with his body in the doorway. I told him I was going to call non-emergency if he didn’t move. And he would not. So I was trying to figure out how to call but my hands were shaking so bad and my brain was so jumbled I gave up and called my sister on speaker. I asked her to call the police. As soon as he saw her name on my phone he moved and let me leave. He yelled at me and our child out the door and to the neighborhood “see - I’m so scary - I’m letting you leave”. I got our child in the backseat and drove down the street to park and get them dressed. They were only in a pull up. I saw the officer coming down the road and flagged him down. I told him what happened and he went and talked with him. I left with our child and went to my sisters. Eventually we came home and he has been upstairs ever since. This is also typical. He will have an outburst. And then go upstairs and not speak to me for a week. And then one morning he’ll just wake up and decide that it’s time to be normal again. And generally comes to me and says “have you calmed down”. Which, as you can imagine, perpetuates the situation further. And drags it on. He does not understand accountability.
We have been married 3.5 years, together for 5 total. We have one child together (2yo) and he has two other children (6yo and 14yo).
We moved in together after 9 months of dating. That is when the abuse started. The first time he was physically abusive, he broke through our bedroom door. Broke. The entire door - down. Somehow, I decided to continue.
From the start, I’ve known it was never going to last. He is unstable. He has a long and dark history of mental illness (both himself and his immediate maternal and paternal family). In addition to struggling with substance abuse his entire life. His childhood is tragic and full of heartache. It shaped the man he is today, and not for the better.
He is in the trades industry and has a GED. I am a director level professional and have a college degree. His father was in prison for the last half of his childhood and eventually took his life when he was released. My father is a retired architect, Vietnam vet. We grew up completely different. Both of our parents divorced. He then suffered verbal and emotional abuse from his step father. I suffered verbal, emotional, and physical abuse from my mother.
I believe my mother is a narcissist and undiagnosed. And I believe my husband has narcissistic tendencies and/or is one. But I am not a medical professional. I am going on what I’ve experienced with both of them.
When we first met, he was 34 and I was 33. He was unemployed and really not doing well. Drinking in access. A lot. Everyday. But I did not know. I was doing very well. I had spent my 20s creating a fulfilling and financially successful career. He spent his 20s job hopping and, quite honestly, messing around. But we had fun together. But having fun together is not real life.
Here is where the manipulation began. He was upfront about his upbringing and past. And was genuinely making steps towards a better life. He is a born again Christian. And as an educated person, I believe he has grabbed on to what is actually important in the Bible. However, he is unable to abide by what a husband biblically should be. He does not love, protect or provide for me or our child. We joined a church, I became involved and made friends, and we went there as a family for multiple years. Until one night he showed up drunk, and I never went back.
I am the breadwinner. I pay for ev. ry. thing. He keeps his entire paycheck and will not give me money to pay bills. He will also not physically pay the bills. I manage and pay all bills. But not because I don’t want him to. I have begged, cried, and tried a million different systems (both digital and analog) to make him involved. And he flat out refuses. He abused our shared checking by taking money out to “pay bills” from his personal checking account and then did not pay those bills and spent the money. So I would then have to pay multiple months and late fees to catch up. Many. Many. Times.
In addition to not contributing financially, he does not contribute to the household upkeep or yard maintenance. Literally nothing. If I want the yard kept, I do it, or I pay someone to do it. If something on a vehicle goes out, I make the appointment and consult with the technician. But again, not because I want to, but because he will not participate. Or if he does, it’s half assed and more work for me. He does not grocery shop or cook. He has never cooked one meal for me. I think he’s maybe gotten a bowl of ice cream for me a couple times? He does not clean. He has cleaned the bathroom in our home two times. We have lived here 4 years. We live in separate bedrooms because he won’t pickup after himself. His room is squalor. Clothes on every square inch. Fast food wrappers. No sheet on mattress. I have cleaned it for him many times in hopes that we could make a drastic change and start sleepin next to each other again. But he refuses. I know this sounds insane that I have stayed married. It sounds insane to me.
He verbally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually and financially abuses me. Maybe not all at once, everyday. But one of them most likely daily now. Or a couple. It’s been a very long time since there has been a long stretch of stability or peace.
However, I am changing all of that this year. I have hired an attorney and am climbing through the paperwork right now.
On Christmas morning last year, before we hosted family that day, he threw a (heavy) laundry basket full of dirty clothes at me as I was going down the stairs because I asked him for help with something. And after the first one hit me, I sat down and covered my head so I wouldn’t fall, and he threw another one at me. I don’t know how I masked my raw emotions through the rest of the day with family over. I ate not one bite. I pushed my food around my plate and tried to make my face contort into normal emotions for the day.
But I stayed. Again.
Mother’s Day morning this year. Just one week ago - I spent it locked in my bedroom with our child paying the divorce attorney retainer fee on the laptop as he screamed at me what a piece of shit mother and wife I am. I honestly don’t even know what I did or remember why it escalated. Most likely because it was a holiday - and not about him.
I am exhausted. I have lost close to 30lbs since January. People are beginning to notice.
I wanted a family more than anything. I adore my child. I spend my days and nights dreaming up ways to enrich their life. I wanted family vacations and world travel. I wanted to host, big, extended family holiday gatherings. I wanted my little baby to know what it felt like to have a mom and dad at home together every night. But not at this cost. The very worst part of my parenting is staying married. I am a bad parent every day that I stay here.
I wish I could file the petition and fast forward a year. I know I’ll be okay. It’s ripping off the bandaid that hurts.

So I've been laid off since January 2024 and I started a new career as a Broker, I'm still developing my skills and clientele, I have secured some deals in the books and wanted to know if I get paid for 1 week on my certification, and the following I make nothing and entered $0, will UE still pay me on the week I don't get make income? or do I lose my benefits completely from my previous W-2 job? what are the rules in California?UE scheduled a phone call with me Monday and I'm kind of nervous and confused at the same time. please help thanks in advance.

I have been in the process of looking for a new NF for a few weeks now, as my last MB quit her job and no longer needed child care. I signed up for an agency and they have been wonderful when it comes to finding opportunities for me. I am truly so grateful for their help, but the last family I met is starting to scare me.
I met DB on Thursday via phone call. The call lasted 6 minutes and he asked maybe 3 questions before deciding he wanted to meet in person the very next day. I’m an anxious girl and I’ve never had someone want to meet so soon, but I agreed although I wasn’t completely comfortable with the idea.
To make a very long story short, the family and I were not a good match at all. That night, I sent DB a long text essentially saying “Thank you for the opportunity, but I don’t think this will be a great fit.”
The NF called me as soon as they read it, and left a voicemail urgently asking me to call them back. Then, the next morning, MB called my agency, which caused my agent to tell me to call the family back. I felt like a child being told on. I responded to my agent saying I had already told them I cannot take the position and would not be calling the family back. My agent still hasn’t responded yet, which is causing me to worry that my agency is upset with my decision to turn down a job.
I feel SO guilty and mean. I feel like I upset so many people. I know this decision impacts the family and the kids, but I have no idea what I can even say to them anymore. If I call them, I worry they will try to bully me into taking the job. The rate they were trying to pay me is way under what I was asking (especially for two kids), and there were other things during the visit that stressed me out so bad I cried the entire way home, and I was only there for 5 hours. I obviously can’t work the job, but I feel like there is no way for me to say that without it sounding like a personal attack towards their family. I feel like I have already said everything they need to know, and my mom insists I should not call back, saying they are acting strange.
What should I do? Is feeling this level of guilt normal when turning down a job?

I'm having a weird issue where my bandwidth through my wireguard server hosted on my NAS is higher than my reported bandwidth to my NAS itself. When I say "through" my NAS I mean traffic that is routed through my wireguard server on my NAS but has a destination that is external. Here's some context:

My ISP is Verizon Fios with a 1Gbps symmetrical plan. I can run a speedtest from the NAS to a speedtest server and it reports close to advertised speeds (940+ down, 920+ up).
My router is a CR1000A with port 51820 port forwarded to the NAS.
I've tested with a wg client from various networks including a friend's 1Gbps symmetrical, 5G/LTE, random hotel WiFi etc and on both my phone and macbook.
To test "passthrough" bandwidth, I used various speedtest websites and verified that my detected IP address was the same as my home network's public IP.
To test bandwidth to the NAS, I used iperf3 and openspeedtest hosted on the NAS, and also generally felt the slowness when streaming from it.
In all cases, the "passthrough" bandwidth seems to increase given a better client bandwidth, but it is always significantly below the line speed of the client/server. I'm wondering if this might be an indicator of an issue in and of itself...
Higher client bandwidth tends to result in higher "passthrough" bandwidth, but bandwidth to the NAS itself seems to cap out around 20 Mbps assuming the client is on a very fast connection (200+ Mbps).

Here's my wireguard config (note my domain resolves to my home network's public IP):

[Interface] PrivateKey = PRIVATEKEY Address = 172.30.1.2/24 DNS = 1.1.1.1 MTU = 1420 [Peer] PublicKey = PUBLICKEY PresharedKey = PRESHAREDKEY AllowedIPs = 0.0.0.0/24 Endpoint = my.domain.com:51820 PersistentKeepalive = 0

Some speed datapoints:

Client BW: 1Gbps Symmetrical Fiber ATT, Passthrough: 140 Mbps, To NAS Direct: 20 Mbps
Client BW: 5G Phone (240 Mbps Down), Passthrough: 50-60 Mbps, To NAS Direct: ~15 Mbps

As another data point, I recently tried installing and using tailscale, but I seem to have similar bandwidth issues, although tailscale's passthrough bandwidth is pretty close to the bandwidth I get when connecting to the NAS directly. One thing to note is that when I use tailscale status, I see that it's a relayed connection. Additionally, tailscale ping is unable to give me a direct connection, so this could be degrading tailscale's performance (another potential indicator that something's wrong?).
The passthrough speeds I'm getting could be acceptable if I could get them to my NAS itself, but they're not even close, making streaming content from my NAS very painful especially on "slower" client connections. I've seen a data point where someone else had a client and server 3500 miles away and was still able to get ~285 Mbps which was close to their line speed. Any tips or suggestions for tools/commands I can run to debug this issue would be much appreciated. Thanks!

First, I am not sure if people noticed this on their profile as well, but you know your favorited bots? Well sometimes their creators delete the bots, but the favorited bots still exist in your favorite section, with no way to remove it, even though the creator deleted the bot so you can no longer access it.
Well today, that favorited yet unaccessible bot is finally removed from my favorites section. YAYYY, I think others also voiced frustration with this and I am happy that it worked for me at least.
And second, the Janitorchat theme thing. You guys know that that stuff is ALWAYS paid DLC in reddit and discord, right? Like reddit forces you to pay for extra avatars, and discord forces you to pay for sprinkly shit to shoot out of your profile pic.
You gotta understand, this type of customization is ALWAYS used to nickle and dime us, I am so used to Ubisoft and Fortnite stapling 7 pages of paid cosmetics (horse armor, special costumes, etc.) for each game they release. So when JAI team just releases these customizations for free, it is like riding on a time machine and going back in time, way way back, when developers just do things to make players happy, and not to nickle and dime them.
I am also just happy new bot upload works, and chat count also work. Go JAI team!!!!!

Other great period piece shows, like mad men and game of thrones, put a good amount of effort in but fall flat in a few spots with a few anachronistic items here and there, or a few plot lines that feel way too focused on modern day events. But the sopranos is incredible at this, it almost feels straight out of the early 2000s. References to princess di’s death or homosexuality in the military don’t come across as ham fisted, because these were things that back then would have widely discussed around the dinner table.
But it’s the little things too. The flip phones and pay phones, the drinking cups and office layouts, the clothing styles and car styles (I didn’t see a single modern car in even the background shots, and I know my cars). The camera quality in the news reports, the old style FBI surveillance tactics, all that stuff. We really should appreciate the staff more, to make something so convincingly set in the 2000s that it just feels natural

The Following will be an introductory level article on “The Akashic Records”, for I feel this is a fundamentally important concept for the awakening individual to familiarize themselves with, as it can be one of our greatest metaphysical assets.
You can think of the Akashic Records as an accumulation of lessons (Conclusions), thoughts, ideas, energies, entities and knowledge in general… coming from all the lives that we have ever lived on our evolutionary cycle… A spiritual record of all that we are, have been, and will ever be… one which is Omnipresent, Ever Vigilant and Actively Communicable to the awakened Individual.
We all have a personal ~Akashic record~ which pertains to all the lives that we as an individual soul have incarnated, you could perhaps consider this to be somewhat synonymous with ones “Personal unconscious” … and then on a larger scale there is the ~Akashic records~ of the entire world, which you might say is synonymous with the ~“collective consciousness/Unconscious~” and could perhaps be described as an accumulated, ever-changing aggregate of all combined experiences and there underlaying factors, both physical and Non-Physical… both of which (Personal and Collective), are of course Intimately connected. The above-mentioned can be a priceless tool throughout our process of awakening, if one can cultivate the internal faculties necessary for tapping into its essence.
We can develop the ability to access and channel our “akashic records” for endless varieties of knowledge and insight, and there are many different degrees of being able to do so. Often times an individual will tap into the knowledge of the ~akashic records~ within everyday life without even knowing it, this is what is known as “Intuition” … Pulling entirely accurate and immediately applicable knowledge out of “Seemingly Nowhere”.
This form of Akashic Interpretation is one of a more “Information Transference” or you might say, “Channeled Insight” type Manifestation… where an Individual actively translates the Insight or Information in a split second based off of Circumstantial necessity and or Focused Intention upon a particular area of thought…
This Insight is received and experienced in many different ways, depending upon the Individual… Whether it be A Feeling, An Impulse of some kind, An inner Voice, A “Packed” or “Complete” Thought Form etc.
It is said that an “old soul” never has to learn the same lesson twice on their evolutionary process… this is because when we come across this “lesson” or circumstance again in our current incarnation, we recognize its energetic resonance in one way or the other, and are able to foresee the consequences, then either avoid or maneuver around it… for when this lesson shows its face again we do not have to “learn it” again, but rather “Remember it”. Intuition is an incredibly helpful and often times unnoticed degree of being able to tap into one’s akashic records... one which is easily brushed off as “Coincidences” and “Lucky Hunches”…
Though, for the developing clairvoyant there are many direct and in-depth methods of accessing these “~Akashic Records~” …
For example, when ones extra sensory perception is developed to a certain degree, they will start being able to visually perceive these Akashic records in their waking life… this happens through varying kinds of “Psychic Materializations” and or “spiritual apparitions” which result in knowledge and insight… Insight that one can see clearly with their eyes as if they were reading a physical book… Written and Painted upon the Surface of Time and Space like a Divine Mural which conveys the story of all Existence and Experience… including all events, both “Major” and “Seemingly Insignificant”… All deeds, both loving, Hateful and indifferent… All psychological developments, both beneficial and unbeneficial… ad well as the entities and non-physical factors which were the Animating cause behind all of the preciously stated physical phenomena.
The Visual Manifestation of this “Akashic Information” Is a Divinely Memorizing phenomena… to perceive layers upon layers of Information, in the form Symbols, Equations, Entities, Thought forms and Pictorial Conveyances…
The multifaceted, overlapping layers which one will perceive within this great complexity, makes it necessary for the Clairvoyant to develop, at the very least, the most basic form of Visual Discernment… meaning that they learn to “Draw Forth” One of the many layers of the overlapping image, so they might be able to better more efficiently Interpret its Symbolic Conveyance.
Those who have seen the movie “The Matrix”, have seen Hollywood’s New Aged, Technology-Driven depiction of this “Underlaying Code” A.K.A “Akashic Information”, which Interacts with and surrounds us constantly.
Though, speaking from the perspective of a true Visual Clairvoyant… I will say, while this Hollywoodized version of Akashic phenomena is generally speaking a good connection to the underlaying truth… this Akashic information is Endlessly more Mystical and Spiritually Symbolic in its Nature… and is not at all to be perceived in some “Purely Mathematical”, Technologically Inclined fashion.
There are also many Akashic Experiences and insight which can be” witnessed” and or attained through out of body experiences or even what some may look at as an “Inner voyage” ... though these are much more advanced methods that you can find in detail, within the Workings of Edgar Cayce.
This particular method is a much more, for lack of a better word, “Unconscious” manifestation of this Akashic Information… being that one is “Physically asleep and “Astrally Aware or Awake”, when this is experienced… Whereas in the Visual Clairvoyant, this Information can be directly perceived and Interpreted even in their waking life… Actively engaging or utilizing their Astral and Aetheric faculties, even while physically conscious.
Developing these extra sensory abilities will also make the accuracy and consistency of one’s regular (Non-visual/Circumstantial) Intuition, much more efficient within their daily Lives… Making stronger their Connection and Relationship with their Higher Nature.
We are constantly utilizing and as well adding to the akashic records and their unfoldment, all the time both personally and collectively… which is what makes this a greatly important concept for the Student of Esoteric Knowledge to delve into.

Much Love

Gage Timothy Kreps Ramirez -

It's okay to record, post and monetize (as long as you don't put it behind a paywall), just credit me.
Feel free to tweak it, change the roles and pronouns, correct my orthography, just don't change it too much.
Feedback is appreciated.
“hehehe, today is the day”
[pause]
“Finally, after months of frustration and failed attempts”
[pause]
“Today is the day I'll scare him!!!”
[pause]
“I'm sure he is going to say, “oh no a scary ghost, I have to leave this haunted place immediately”, and he will leave my house”
[pause]
“...”
[pause]
“He... is... late today...”
[pause]
“He is never this late”
[pause]
“Could it be that something has happened to him?”
[pause]
“What if he died?”
[pause]
“He better not have died before I had a chance to scare him”
[pause]
(SFX: keys on the door)
“Oh, there he is”
[pause]
“Okay, put you bag down, just like that and now...”
(SFX: door slams)
“ohohoho, I bet that scared him a lot!!!!”
[pause]
“...”
[pause]
“He isn’t even startled...”
[pause]
“Fine, time to get serious”
[pause]
“I’ll turn off the lights as soon as he walks into the kitchen”
[pause]
“One...”
[pause]
“Two...”
[pause]
“Three...”
[pause]
“That should do it”
[pause]
“What?”
[pause]
“No!!!!”
[pause]
“It isn’t your lightbulb, when has it been your lightbulb in the past six weeks?”
[pause]
“it’s me, it’s always been me”
[pause]
“See me!!! Fear me!!!”
[pause]
“What do I have to do, push you down the stairs?”
[pause]
“Actually, scratch that, last time you almost died”
[pause]
“Oh, he is about to sit, maybe I could...”
[pause]
(SFX: chair moves)
[pause]
“The chair moved on its own, surely you at least found that weird, right?”
[pause]
“No!! No!! No!! No!!”
[pause]
“don’t just sit on the chair...”
[pause]
“This wasn’t this difficult in the 80’s”
[pause]
“What is he doing now?”
[pause]
“Instant ramen again?”
[pause]
“He really should stop eating that”
[pause]
“It can’t be good for him”
[pause]
“I wonder what they taste like thought”
[pause]
“Idea, I'll turn on the stove and overboil his noodles”
[pause]
“As soon as he looks away...”
[pause]
“now”
[pause]
“What do you think about that mister I fear nothing”
[pause]
“What is he doing?”
[pause]
“You are just going to leave with the stove turned up like that?”
[pause]
“Well, I'm not turning it down...”
[pause]
“it’s starting to boil...”
[pause]
“And now is boiling...”
[pause]
“And now is spilling!!”
[pause]
“Hey!!! Can't you hear it?”
[pause]
“don’t you care about your soup? your pot? the kitchen? Your safety?”
[pause]
“fine”
[pause]
“I'll turn it off gee”
[pause]
“There you are, the kitchen could have burn you know?”
[pause]
“And you are just going to serve the noodles and move on, because of course you are”
[pause]
“What do I have to do?”
[pause]
“I have tried all the tricks, moving objects, making things disappear, weird noises, turning the lights on and off”
[pause]
“I would appear outside your bedroom wearing a bedsheet at this point”
[pause]
“I would lose my pride as a ghost if I did that”
[pause]
(sight)
“What to do? What to do?”
[pause]
“Hey where did you go?”
[pause]
(SFX: tv turning on)
“Oh, it is that time of the day”
[pause]
“Hey, what are we watching?”
[pause]
“Is it cartoons?”
[pause]
“Ugh, I can’t stand this campy 80’s horror movies, I didn’t like them when they were new, and I don’t like them now”
[pause]
“If you don’t change the channel I will”
[pause]
“Excuse me, did you just flinch?”
[pause]
“Oh no, you are not getting scared watching this garbage?”
[pause]
“You really just screamed?”
[pause]
“Okay, that is it”
[pause]
“What was that trick jerry the poltergeist taught me back in 09?”
[pause]
“haven’t had to do this in a while”
[pause]
(SFX: static noises)
“Hey...”
[pause]
“Hey...”
[pause]
“HEY!!!!!”
[pause]
“Yes, I’m talking to you”
[pause]
“No, this is not part of your movie, your terrible, terrible, stupid movie, I really am talking to you”
[pause]
“what’s the big idea dude?”
[pause]
“For weeks I have been moving chairs and slamming doors, without even getting a single reaction out of you”
[pause]
“Just to see you get scared and literally scream watching a boring 80’s horror movie, that aged like milk”
[pause]
“Point is, not cool”
[pause]
“of course, is only now that you realize I’m here, well about time!!!”
[pause]
“I’m a ghost, I haunt this house”
[pause]
“I'm talking through the tv, it’s a trick I learn from a poltergeist that lived in a radio once”
[pause]
“Yeah, yeah nice to meet you too, whatever moving on”
[pause]
“How can you not notice the house is haunted? Even I literally pushed you down the stairs that one time”
[pause]
“Yeah, sorry, that was me”
[pause]
“I wasn’t trying to kill you or anything, I was just trying to scare you and make you live my house”
[pause]
“Yes, this is my house, I was born here, grew up here and I died here, it’s mine”
[pause]
“I am not sharing it with anyone, I have scared off anyone who has moved here”
[pause]
“First it was the Jeffers in 82, they were a family of five, they were only here for 2 months before they packed up and left”
[pause]
“I took it slow, saw what they were like before starting doing things”
[pause]
“They were nice enough; the kids were a little annoying”
[pause]
“Then in 94, a woman and her daughter, the girl was into spooky stuff, her mom hoped it was just a phase”
[pause]
“After two weeks of things happening, she took a Ouija board and convinced the mom to have a seance, it only took shaking up the table a little and saying get out, for them to pack and leave the next day”
[pause]
“Then 2001, a painter, or was it a writer? Doesn’t matter... he thought he was crazy, and that I was a product of his mind”
[pause]
“Well, he was crazy, but the house was also haunted”
[pause]
“He didn’t run away though, he was hospitalized... it was better for him...”
[pause]
“After that it was a couple of newlyweds, a week of moving objects and they set a bunch cameras allover”
[pause]
“I decided to give them a show, there were out in a week”
[pause]
“What year it was?”
[pause]
“2007, why?”
[pause]
“Anyway, then it was 2012, let’s just say a sorority had to look for a new house, in only three days... that was my proudest moment...”
[pause]
“Which brings us to you”
[pause]
“Six weeks and you didn’t even notice there’s something going on”
[pause]
“Are you that dense?”
[pause]
“What do you mean you knew?”
[pause]
“Well yeah, I don’t want to hurt you, but still, I think you would at least get scared, you live in a seclude house, alone, in the woods”
[pause]
“Why would you willingly live somewhere like this?”
[pause]
“The rent is what?”
[pause]
“That is... so little...”
[pause]
“How dare they rent my house for just that?
[pause]
“My father spent a fortune building it!!!”
[pause]
“It pisses me off”
[pause]
“What valid reasons?”
[pause]
“Yes, I guess the garden could use some work”
[pause]
“And the roof is a little moldy”
[pause]
“Come on, is not as if anyone knows for sure that is haunted”
[pause]
“It was in the contract?”
[pause]
“And you still moved here?”
[pause]
“you’ll really settle for anything, huh?”
[pause]
“...”
[pause]
“Say...”
[pause]
“If I, hypothetically, agreed to share the house”
[pause]
“Under the condition on not putting anymore stupid horror movies”
[pause]
“And let me watch at least an hour of cartoons”
[pause]
“And constantly speaking to me even if you can’t hear me when I'm not in the tv”
[pause]
“Yes, I could move to any other screen”
[pause]
“What? No, I’m not moving to the screen of your phone, i have seen the stuff you look in it”
[pause]
“Your laptop isn’t as bad, but you still haven’t answer me”
[pause]
“Would you do all that?”
[pause]
“Yes?”
[pause]
“Then, will agree to share the place with you”
[pause]
“Because this is the first conversation I had in like a century”
[pause]
“Is rude to ask the age of a lady”
[pause]
“Hmm... what year is this?
[pause]
“a little less than a hundred then”
[pause]
“I don’t speak like an old lady because, I try to keep up with the lingo, why not, I mean, YOLO, you know?”
“Why are you looking at me like that? What did I say?”
[end]

The Following will be an introductory level article on “The Akashic Records”, for I feel this is a fundamentally important concept for the awakening individual to familiarize themselves with, as it can be one of our greatest metaphysical assets.
You can think of the Akashic Records as an accumulation of lessons (Conclusions), thoughts, ideas, energies, entities and knowledge in general… coming from all the lives that we have ever lived on our evolutionary cycle… A spiritual record of all that we are, have been, and will ever be… one which is Omnipresent, Ever Vigilant and Actively Communicable to the awakened Individual.
We all have a personal ~Akashic record~ which pertains to all the lives that we as an individual soul have incarnated, you could perhaps consider this to be somewhat synonymous with ones “Personal unconscious” … and then on a larger scale there is the ~Akashic records~ of the entire world, which you might say is synonymous with the ~“collective consciousness/Unconscious~” and could perhaps be described as an accumulated, ever-changing aggregate of all combined experiences and there underlaying factors, both physical and Non-Physical… both of which (Personal and Collective), are of course Intimately connected. The above-mentioned can be a priceless tool throughout our process of awakening, if one can cultivate the internal faculties necessary for tapping into its essence.
We can develop the ability to access and channel our “akashic records” for endless varieties of knowledge and insight, and there are many different degrees of being able to do so. Often times an individual will tap into the knowledge of the ~akashic records~ within everyday life without even knowing it, this is what is known as “Intuition” … Pulling entirely accurate and immediately applicable knowledge out of “Seemingly Nowhere”.
This form of Akashic Interpretation is one of a more “Information Transference” or you might say, “Channeled Insight” type Manifestation… where an Individual actively translates the Insight or Information in a split second based off of Circumstantial necessity and or Focused Intention upon a particular area of thought…
This Insight is received and experienced in many different ways, depending upon the Individual… Whether it be A Feeling, An Impulse of some kind, An inner Voice, A “Packed” or “Complete” Thought Form etc.
It is said that an “old soul” never has to learn the same lesson twice on their evolutionary process… this is because when we come across this “lesson” or circumstance again in our current incarnation, we recognize its energetic resonance in one way or the other, and are able to foresee the consequences, then either avoid or maneuver around it… for when this lesson shows its face again we do not have to “learn it” again, but rather “Remember it”. Intuition is an incredibly helpful and often times unnoticed degree of being able to tap into one’s akashic records... one which is easily brushed off as “Coincidences” and “Lucky Hunches”…
Though, for the developing clairvoyant there are many direct and in-depth methods of accessing these “~Akashic Records~” …
For example, when ones extra sensory perception is developed to a certain degree, they will start being able to visually perceive these Akashic records in their waking life… this happens through varying kinds of “Psychic Materializations” and or “spiritual apparitions” which result in knowledge and insight… Insight that one can see clearly with their eyes as if they were reading a physical book… Written and Painted upon the Surface of Time and Space like a Divine Mural which conveys the story of all Existence and Experience… including all events, both “Major” and “Seemingly Insignificant”… All deeds, both loving, Hateful and indifferent… All psychological developments, both beneficial and unbeneficial… ad well as the entities and non-physical factors which were the Animating cause behind all of the preciously stated physical phenomena.
The Visual Manifestation of this “Akashic Information” Is a Divinely Memorizing phenomena… to perceive layers upon layers of Information, in the form Symbols, Equations, Entities, Thought forms and Pictorial Conveyances…
The multifaceted, overlapping layers which one will perceive within this great complexity, makes it necessary for the Clairvoyant to develop, at the very least, the most basic form of Visual Discernment… meaning that they learn to “Draw Forth” One of the many layers of the overlapping image, so they might be able to better more efficiently Interpret its Symbolic Conveyance.
Those who have seen the movie “The Matrix”, have seen Hollywood’s New Aged, Technology-Driven depiction of this “Underlaying Code” A.K.A “Akashic Information”, which Interacts with and surrounds us constantly.
Though, speaking from the perspective of a true Visual Clairvoyant… I will say, while this Hollywoodized version of Akashic phenomena is generally speaking a good connection to the underlaying truth… this Akashic information is Endlessly more Mystical and Spiritually Symbolic in its Nature… and is not at all to be perceived in some “Purely Mathematical”, Technologically Inclined fashion.
There are also many Akashic Experiences and insight which can be” witnessed” and or attained through out of body experiences or even what some may look at as an “Inner voyage” ... though these are much more advanced methods that you can find in detail, within the Workings of Edgar Cayce.
This particular method is a much more, for lack of a better word, “Unconscious” manifestation of this Akashic Information… being that one is “Physically asleep and “Astrally Aware or Awake”, when this is experienced… Whereas in the Visual Clairvoyant, this Information can be directly perceived and Interpreted even in their waking life… Actively engaging or utilizing their Astral and Aetheric faculties, even while physically conscious.
Developing these extra sensory abilities will also make the accuracy and consistency of one’s regular (Non-visual/Circumstantial) Intuition, much more efficient within their daily Lives… Making stronger their Connection and Relationship with their Higher Nature.
We are constantly utilizing and as well adding to the akashic records and their unfoldment, all the time both personally and collectively… which is what makes this a greatly important concept for the Student of Esoteric Knowledge to delve into.

Much Love

Gage Timothy Kreps Ramirez -

I was in the backyard one night with my freinds. They were chatting and looking at something on their phones and I heard a twig snap to the right of me. I turned to look and saw a very tall and skinny figure standing in the shadows just behind a tree towards the back of the yard. It was moving back and forth on its feet in a inhuman way and stood at least a foot and a half above the 6 foot fence. I could see it's slender body slightly through the tree and could tell it was in the backyard with us, and it seemed like it was looking right at me even though I couldn't see its face. I panicked and went inside to grab a flashlight, my boyfriend and his friend followed me to see what was wrong, I told them there was something out there but when we went back out we couldn't see any trace of it with the light.
About 2 years after moving to our new home my boyfreind was at his freinds house and would be home in a hour or two. I was getting ready to take a shower and locked myself in the bathroom. I lock the doors behind me becuase it makes me feel safer when I'm alone. So I'm in there getting things ready and I hear a weird sound. It sounded like the doorknob to the bathroom door was turning. I looked over at it kind of confused and sure enough I could see the doorknob moving. I kind of laughed to myself like "wow girl you've really lost it huh" like it was a joke. Well whatever was behind that door heard me and became very aggressive. It started making these aggressive clicking noises and shoving the door. I wasn't laughing anymore and realized that this was happening, something was here and it was trying to get in. My cat started going crazy, I could hear her out in the hallway hissing and growling and I wanted to know what was going on out there but I was so terrified it was like I was paralyzed. Whatever it was went quiet for a few minutes and then I heard what sounded like someone banging their fists on my living room window outside the bathroom then followed by banging on my kitchen counter. I was shaking and I didn't know what to do. I just stayed there, I fully expected whatever was out there to come through the door at any moment but it went silent and the banging stopped. All the doors and windows were locked, there was no way anything could've been in my apartment. Honestly I'd never experienced fear like that before and I didn't move at all the entire time until my boyfreind got home. He could tell something had happened and was concerned about my safety. Even after he had gotten home I was still shaking and couldn't help but feel whatever it was that tried to get in was still there and had never left and was watching us.
There was another time I was walking up the driveway around 1 in the morning and I saw a tall grey crouched outside the bushes next to my bedroom window. It was just staring at me and didn't move or say anything. I made eye contact with it and it freaked the shit out of me. Why was it just waiting there by my window??? Did it want me to see it?? I don't understand but I was scared so I went and sat on the couch and avoided going to my room.
One time when I was a kid I was having a dream about a hooded figure and I woke up to a pain in my lower left side. When I opened my eyes there was a being standing right next to my head about a foot from my face. It was incredibly short, like the size of a child. I looked at it for about 5-10 seconds before it vanished into thin air. Like it activated a cloaking device.
I'm scared honestly, I don't know what they want or if they want to hurt me. I've tried requesting contact or asking for information but absolute silence. I have no clue what's going on and I legit don't know what to think of all this. Anyone here have any perspectives on the matter? I feel like I'm being harrased or they want me to go insane. I've been having sleep paralysis too, feeling like someone is touching my side. The same side that the short being was doing something to when I was a kid.
I don't know if it's related but I had an out if body experience a couple years ago when I was meditating. My heart rate slowed down significantly and so did my breathing and I saw and felt myself from 1st person flying into the sky with other people. I wasn't my body, I was made if pure energy and geometry changing colors and form. Everyone else was too and we all felt and thought as one singular being. Then I was back in my body. My TV turned on by itself right afterwards and starting changing inputs. Like someone wanted me to know I had been shown something I don't know could be a coincidence.
The only answer I've ever heard was just a couple dreams I had. In one a rock being materialized in my living room and told me they were interested in me becuase I have the shard whatever that means. But it could just be a dream and not correlated. In another one I'm in a house and I go over to the window. Open the curtain and there is a grey looking at me, it's eye reflecting light like a cat. I flicked it off jokingly and it returned the favor. I sat down and it came in and sat next to me. It told me that it was me and it could see light everywhere. It said alot more but I can't remember anything. It then turned into the cat I had just gotten recently. So yeah like I said probably not very reliable lol.

The Following will be an introductory level article on “The Akashic Records”, for I feel this is a fundamentally important concept for the awakening individual to familiarize themselves with, as it can be one of our greatest metaphysical assets.
You can think of the Akashic Records as an accumulation of lessons (Conclusions), thoughts, ideas, energies, entities and knowledge in general… coming from all the lives that we have ever lived on our evolutionary cycle… A spiritual record of all that we are, have been, and will ever be… one which is Omnipresent, Ever Vigilant and Actively Communicable to the awakened Individual.
We all have a personal ~Akashic record~ which pertains to all the lives that we as an individual soul have incarnated, you could perhaps consider this to be somewhat synonymous with ones “Personal unconscious” … and then on a larger scale there is the ~Akashic records~ of the entire world, which you might say is synonymous with the ~“collective consciousness/Unconscious~” and could perhaps be described as an accumulated, ever-changing aggregate of all combined experiences and there underlaying factors, both physical and Non-Physical… both of which (Personal and Collective), are of course Intimately connected. The above-mentioned can be a priceless tool throughout our process of awakening, if one can cultivate the internal faculties necessary for tapping into its essence.
We can develop the ability to access and channel our “akashic records” for endless varieties of knowledge and insight, and there are many different degrees of being able to do so. Often times an individual will tap into the knowledge of the ~akashic records~ within everyday life without even knowing it, this is what is known as “Intuition” … Pulling entirely accurate and immediately applicable knowledge out of “Seemingly Nowhere”.
This form of Akashic Interpretation is one of a more “Information Transference” or you might say, “Channeled Insight” type Manifestation… where an Individual actively translates the Insight or Information in a split second based off of Circumstantial necessity and or Focused Intention upon a particular area of thought…
This Insight is received and experienced in many different ways, depending upon the Individual… Whether it be A Feeling, An Impulse of some kind, An inner Voice, A “Packed” or “Complete” Thought Form etc.
It is said that an “old soul” never has to learn the same lesson twice on their evolutionary process… this is because when we come across this “lesson” or circumstance again in our current incarnation, we recognize its energetic resonance in one way or the other, and are able to foresee the consequences, then either avoid or maneuver around it… for when this lesson shows its face again we do not have to “learn it” again, but rather “Remember it”. Intuition is an incredibly helpful and often times unnoticed degree of being able to tap into one’s akashic records... one which is easily brushed off as “Coincidences” and “Lucky Hunches”…
Though, for the developing clairvoyant there are many direct and in-depth methods of accessing these “~Akashic Records~” …
For example, when ones extra sensory perception is developed to a certain degree, they will start being able to visually perceive these Akashic records in their waking life… this happens through varying kinds of “Psychic Materializations” and or “spiritual apparitions” which result in knowledge and insight… Insight that one can see clearly with their eyes as if they were reading a physical book… Written and Painted upon the Surface of Time and Space like a Divine Mural which conveys the story of all Existence and Experience… including all events, both “Major” and “Seemingly Insignificant”… All deeds, both loving, Hateful and indifferent… All psychological developments, both beneficial and unbeneficial… ad well as the entities and non-physical factors which were the Animating cause behind all of the preciously stated physical phenomena.
The Visual Manifestation of this “Akashic Information” Is a Divinely Memorizing phenomena… to perceive layers upon layers of Information, in the form Symbols, Equations, Entities, Thought forms and Pictorial Conveyances…
The multifaceted, overlapping layers which one will perceive within this great complexity, makes it necessary for the Clairvoyant to develop, at the very least, the most basic form of Visual Discernment… meaning that they learn to “Draw Forth” One of the many layers of the overlapping image, so they might be able to better more efficiently Interpret its Symbolic Conveyance.
Those who have seen the movie “The Matrix”, have seen Hollywood’s New Aged, Technology-Driven depiction of this “Underlaying Code” A.K.A “Akashic Information”, which Interacts with and surrounds us constantly.
Though, speaking from the perspective of a true Visual Clairvoyant… I will say, while this Hollywoodized version of Akashic phenomena is generally speaking a good connection to the underlaying truth… this Akashic information is Endlessly more Mystical and Spiritually Symbolic in its Nature… and is not at all to be perceived in some “Purely Mathematical”, Technologically Inclined fashion.
There are also many Akashic Experiences and insight which can be” witnessed” and or attained through out of body experiences or even what some may look at as an “Inner voyage” ... though these are much more advanced methods that you can find in detail, within the Workings of Edgar Cayce.
This particular method is a much more, for lack of a better word, “Unconscious” manifestation of this Akashic Information… being that one is “Physically asleep and “Astrally Aware or Awake”, when this is experienced… Whereas in the Visual Clairvoyant, this Information can be directly perceived and Interpreted even in their waking life… Actively engaging or utilizing their Astral and Aetheric faculties, even while physically conscious.
Developing these extra sensory abilities will also make the accuracy and consistency of one’s regular (Non-visual/Circumstantial) Intuition, much more efficient within their daily Lives… Making stronger their Connection and Relationship with their Higher Nature.
We are constantly utilizing and as well adding to the akashic records and their unfoldment, all the time both personally and collectively… which is what makes this a greatly important concept for the Student of Esoteric Knowledge to delve into.

Much Love

Gage Timothy Kreps Ramirez -

I think I've unknowingly known my whole life I was trans, but only really had the knowledge to out it into words when I was 16. I'm 23 now and it's been a ride.
I spent most of my teens researching and longing. All on my own. All through a phone. I was terrified of being found out. I would only use my phone with my back against a wall so no one could sneak behind me and see my screen. I stopped commenting and liking Instagram posts when my family started following me there (this was back when Instagram had a whole section dedicated to showing what the people you follow had liked and commented). I unfollowed so many pages because I was terrified they would go through my following and see them. How could I answer the question 'why are you following (queer account)?' without telling on myself? I used to lie a lot. About the movies I'd seen (couldn't admit I'd seen any queer movie because why was I watching that, you know?), the music I liked, the YouTubers I followed, etc. I was so scared whenever my parents used my phone because what if a notification from a channel I followed popped up and the title of the video was queer? What then? I was very anxious, scared and I used to think a lot about ways they could find out, so I could take care of them.
And it went like this for years. I went through an entire self discovery process and no one even knew it or ever found out. Years passed and I slowly started to make peace with it all. Graduating high school and leaving that place behind was crucial on this. I started uni and eventually got a job, started making my own money and I felt I was millions of miles away from the whole I was in during my high school years. My relationship with my mom became better after a few delicate moments during my senior year of high school because of my queerness (she asked me if I was and I said no and it didn't go too well). I became very okay with myself and who I am and I accepted myself completely.
Around this time I began exploring the possibility of never ever coming out. It wasn't ideal, but it was doable and to me became the only way out for me. It took me a while but I accepted it. And I decided that being as worried and anxious as I'd been when I was a teenager was not good for me. So I stopped hiding. I wouldn't come out, not ever, but I also wasn't going to hide. I started following queer accounts again, and being vocal about liking movies that had a gay plot, and not being supportive of if their homophobia. I was doing whatever I felt like, but nothing too obvious.
A few days ago a news page my entire family and I follow published a post about a man talking about being gay. The news page is mostly right leaning, so many of the comments were things like 'and what do I care about this guy's sexuality ' 'you can be gay, just don't talk about it' 'literally no one cares about this' and things like this, completely disregarding what the news piece was about. I, fully knowing my family followed that page and if they came across the post they would surely see any comments I made, decided to reply to one homophobic comment I saw. This was huge to me. It was the kind of thing 16 year old me would have died from. Just the chance of my family seeing me supporting gay rights was enough to keep me up at night. And now I was doing it fully aware of the consequences. I posted the comment and went about my day. The next day at dinner the topic of gayness comes up (it usually does and it's never in a nice way), and my brother mentions the article the news outlet had publish about this man talking about being gay. I instantly knew what post he was talking about. My mom immediately said she'd seen it too. My heart dropped to my stomach instantly. What she said next was the same kind of homophobia as the comments under that post. By this point I was terrified of any of them having read my comment. I was terrified that if they had they would bring it up there, over dinner in front of everyone. I was suddenly 16 again and only ever using my phone with my back against a wall. I stood up in panic and pretended to be looking for napkins. I made such a fuss about not finding them that they dropped the subject to help me get some.
I'm just ashamed really. After all this time, all this progress and learning I thought I'd done and I still felt like I did when I was 16. Is it ever gonna end? What if I leave this place but never really stop feeling 16 and terrified of being found out? Is never coming out not really an option? Or it is, and the price to pay is always looking over your shoulder? The one thing I used to think about at 16 and that I still very much agree with, specially at times like this is how unfair it is. I didn't choose this. Some people just get to be and I don't. I didn't choose to feel like this, growing up on their couch while they talk homophobia in the background. It really feels so unfair. The one thing I take as a win is that I think it's made me a better person. A more accepting and understanding one. It's helped me known myself a lot more too.
I choose to focus on the positives.

The Following will be an introductory level article on “The Akashic Records”, for I feel this is a fundamentally important concept for the awakening individual to familiarize themselves with, as it can be one of our greatest metaphysical assets.
You can think of the Akashic Records as an accumulation of lessons (Conclusions), thoughts, ideas, energies, entities and knowledge in general… coming from all the lives that we have ever lived on our evolutionary cycle… A spiritual record of all that we are, have been, and will ever be… one which is Omnipresent, Ever Vigilant and Actively Communicable to the awakened Individual.
We all have a personal ~Akashic record~ which pertains to all the lives that we as an individual soul have incarnated, you could perhaps consider this to be somewhat synonymous with ones “Personal unconscious” … and then on a larger scale there is the ~Akashic records~ of the entire world, which you might say is synonymous with the ~“collective consciousness/Unconscious~” and could perhaps be described as an accumulated, ever-changing aggregate of all combined experiences and there underlaying factors, both physical and Non-Physical… both of which (Personal and Collective), are of course Intimately connected. The above-mentioned can be a priceless tool throughout our process of awakening, if one can cultivate the internal faculties necessary for tapping into its essence.
We can develop the ability to access and channel our “akashic records” for endless varieties of knowledge and insight, and there are many different degrees of being able to do so. Often times an individual will tap into the knowledge of the ~akashic records~ within everyday life without even knowing it, this is what is known as “Intuition” … Pulling entirely accurate and immediately applicable knowledge out of “Seemingly Nowhere”.
This form of Akashic Interpretation is one of a more “Information Transference” or you might say, “Channeled Insight” type Manifestation… where an Individual actively translates the Insight or Information in a split second based off of Circumstantial necessity and or Focused Intention upon a particular area of thought…
This Insight is received and experienced in many different ways, depending upon the Individual… Whether it be A Feeling, An Impulse of some kind, An inner Voice, A “Packed” or “Complete” Thought Form etc.
It is said that an “old soul” never has to learn the same lesson twice on their evolutionary process… this is because when we come across this “lesson” or circumstance again in our current incarnation, we recognize its energetic resonance in one way or the other, and are able to foresee the consequences, then either avoid or maneuver around it… for when this lesson shows its face again we do not have to “learn it” again, but rather “Remember it”. Intuition is an incredibly helpful and often times unnoticed degree of being able to tap into one’s akashic records... one which is easily brushed off as “Coincidences” and “Lucky Hunches”…
Though, for the developing clairvoyant there are many direct and in-depth methods of accessing these “~Akashic Records~” …
For example, when ones extra sensory perception is developed to a certain degree, they will start being able to visually perceive these Akashic records in their waking life… this happens through varying kinds of “Psychic Materializations” and or “spiritual apparitions” which result in knowledge and insight… Insight that one can see clearly with their eyes as if they were reading a physical book… Written and Painted upon the Surface of Time and Space like a Divine Mural which conveys the story of all Existence and Experience… including all events, both “Major” and “Seemingly Insignificant”… All deeds, both loving, Hateful and indifferent… All psychological developments, both beneficial and unbeneficial… ad well as the entities and non-physical factors which were the Animating cause behind all of the preciously stated physical phenomena.
The Visual Manifestation of this “Akashic Information” Is a Divinely Memorizing phenomena… to perceive layers upon layers of Information, in the form Symbols, Equations, Entities, Thought forms and Pictorial Conveyances…
The multifaceted, overlapping layers which one will perceive within this great complexity, makes it necessary for the Clairvoyant to develop, at the very least, the most basic form of Visual Discernment… meaning that they learn to “Draw Forth” One of the many layers of the overlapping image, so they might be able to better more efficiently Interpret its Symbolic Conveyance.
Those who have seen the movie “The Matrix”, have seen Hollywood’s New Aged, Technology-Driven depiction of this “Underlaying Code” A.K.A “Akashic Information”, which Interacts with and surrounds us constantly.
Though, speaking from the perspective of a true Visual Clairvoyant… I will say, while this Hollywoodized version of Akashic phenomena is generally speaking a good connection to the underlaying truth… this Akashic information is Endlessly more Mystical and Spiritually Symbolic in its Nature… and is not at all to be perceived in some “Purely Mathematical”, Technologically Inclined fashion.
There are also many Akashic Experiences and insight which can be” witnessed” and or attained through out of body experiences or even what some may look at as an “Inner voyage” ... though these are much more advanced methods that you can find in detail, within the Workings of Edgar Cayce.
This particular method is a much more, for lack of a better word, “Unconscious” manifestation of this Akashic Information… being that one is “Physically asleep and “Astrally Aware or Awake”, when this is experienced… Whereas in the Visual Clairvoyant, this Information can be directly perceived and Interpreted even in their waking life… Actively engaging or utilizing their Astral and Aetheric faculties, even while physically conscious.
Developing these extra sensory abilities will also make the accuracy and consistency of one’s regular (Non-visual/Circumstantial) Intuition, much more efficient within their daily Lives… Making stronger their Connection and Relationship with their Higher Nature.
We are constantly utilizing and as well adding to the akashic records and their unfoldment, all the time both personally and collectively… which is what makes this a greatly important concept for the Student of Esoteric Knowledge to delve into.

Much Love

Gage Timothy Kreps Ramirez -

My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL;DR : So should I break up with my ex-fiancé or should I keep fighting to get back the man I love?

When I’m around other people during a flare, they aren’t seeing the full me. Even at a 4-5/10, I may not feel comfortable pushing limits. Some days I am ready to go driving to places, some days I am only scraping the bare minimum. There are so many layers to everyone, activity levels ebb and flow while the pain morphs from a dull ache to a sharp burn and back again. Those that don’t understand can be unhelpful in the most frustrating ways, but others pleasantly surprise me with their empathy and ability to imagine life in someone else’s shoes. We may have hobbies that we can only do sparingly or not at all anymore, but it doesn’t mean we don’t have interests. We are still unique and talented individuals, even if we are limited in said talents. I’ve been doing more hobbies that can be done in and out of bed, like singing, making others laugh, reading, and random internet research. Sometimes I edit videos on my phone. A person who sees us for all that we are and who has seen our best and worst days with love and compassion are so important. 🤍
I hope this made someone smile today. :)

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