Quotes about daughters birthdays

First, for context; I was raised in a household where I would get either physically or mentally beaten if I did something wrong. For example, if I were to talk back to my mother she would mentally hurt me, which is why I have a low ego and constant suicidal thoughts. Now I'm an even worse person who gets mad every time someone comes into my room.
My mom believes that I am an asshole and I do too. I also get mad when anyone touches me without permission, causing me to flinch back and make them either worried or upset. I have lashed out at my own mother for touching me multiple times without permission and she tends to insult me when I do so.
I do have feelings, I'm not some emotionless person who doesn't care about anyone at all, (Not that people who hide their emotions are all like that) but I like to keep my bad emotions hidden since I used to get bullied for being the crybaby. My bad emotions are saved until I'm at home and reading, that's when I let all my bad emotions out. Nobody cares about how I'm doing (if I'm feeling bad), and I enjoy that lack of attention; which is why I like keeping my emotions hidden.
I found a quote that perfectly describes how I am in public: Chin up, Princess, or the crown slips. I'm not sure where it comes from, or who said it, but in my mind I'm always saying to myself Don't show your emotions, or you'll face bullying again. I hate myself for this, but I feel I should get over it.
Anyways, enough backstory, I just accidentally hurt my dog because I was mad, but gave her some treats right after because I felt bad. I feel like an asshole because I feel like I mentally hurt everyone around me. I don't deserve anyone who's nice to me because I just put on a mask so I can keep friends. I'm the definition of a faker and I don't get why I'm still alive if I just hurt everyone around me. I take everyone for granted and if they get mad at me my mask just slips off. The only negative emotion I show in public is anger and even when I do show my anger I just get backlash anyways so I always try to apologise either the next day or in the next 2 hours. Sorry to anyone who's actually taking time out of their day to read this, I know it's long. I've been forgotten by my father, who left when I was born; He doesn't even have partial custody and he forgot that I exist, leading him to forget my birthday last year. I'm basically the opposite of a narcissist, (for anyone reading this who doesn't know what a narcissist is: it's someone who has too high of an ego) meaning I hate everything about me, from my mind to my body to my personality to my life. I have thoughts of death every day and I know most people want long happy lives, but I don't.
I kind of just feel the want to get on a private jet as the pilot and purposely crash the plane.
I do self harm, but not cutting, I'll get into that later. I already have the tools to hurt myself. I sometimes pick at my body while finding everything that people hate about me, even if they don't say it. I honestly am a brat, and my mom is so helpful at cheering me up. Lies. She is awesome at making me feel better about myself. Lies. My dad is always there for me. Lies. My life is absolutely awesome. More lies. I honestly hate everything about me, like I already said. I feel like everyone I love is so happy and has a great life, other than this one friends of mine who is going through the same thing as me. We both seemed to have started getting suicidal thoughts for the same reasons. Our grandparents hate us (In my case grandparent) and they treat us like dog shit as if we're not human. We also started having these thoughts at the beginning of our fourth grade year (In which we were in the same class.) The only two things keeping me alive right now is that I'm a fucking pussy who can't act on her thoughts, and that I have things to research that I wish I had. A recent example was a study of skin cancer. I believe I have a disorder called Body Dysmorphia, meaning I see my body as a very disoriented version of it. People say I'm skinny but when I look in a mirror I see something different. I enjoy starving myself, which is one of the only types of self harm I do; The other type of self harm consists of picking at my skin with any objects that will pinch, basically I would use a crabs claw if I got that desperate to feel pain. Pain brings me joy for some reason. I'm not talented, I'm only skilled. I have nothing special to keep me going and I'm a financial burden on my already struggling mother. Sometimes I just think of killing myself but then I think about why my mom would think. All of her friends either forget about her, abandon her, or die.
I can't talk to my mom about anything, because she's not reliable with emotions. What I can rely on her to do is feed my want for my life to end quickly.

im confessingnthat ive made some mistakes in life that i cant repent for, i wanted to name my future daughter as my first crush which isnundoubtedly terrible and i regret everything i regret of even thinking that i liednto my wife about greeting my ex happy birthday because i didnt want to start a commotion but i still lied i still lied i still betrayed her i gave her answers eveyrgkngn but thn my wife said her ex was better than me because he provided drugs for her my wife kept berating me even though she already saw me first-hand breaking down crying i was so pathetic in front of her yet she did not hold me one bit she didnt givebme any warmth my wife was watching other men's things while fully knowing she has me my wife always berated me for crying my wife knows every word andphrase and sentence that will break me down i never received a proper answer on why shed do thosenthings shenonly ever glossed over them and or told me tk suck it up or it wasnjust unimportant how is it unimportant my wife wants to leave me now she messaged me thatnshe wants to leave me and that i should never talk to her again shes blocked me everywhere shes left me but i stjll love her i still love her with all ofnmy heart i will never stop loving her i love her foreverm i made a promise to her my lovd my wife my life i made a promisento her that id never leave her no matter what ithat id alwaysnbe there i still love her nothings gonna change my love for her i love her i want to spend the rest ofnmy time still with her i love her so much i lovenher down from top to bottom i love every quality about her i dont want her tk leave why is she doing this to me i dont want her to ever leave me i dont knownhow to end this statement ill still love hernbecause i made a promisenthat ill alwaysnlove her i cant ascertain if i want t continue on i dont want t stop loving her but i need ohter peoples verdicts

My neighbors have lived next to me for about five years. For the most part we have been on pretty good terms. They are heavy smokers and often smoke marijuana and cigarettes. I like to keep a few windows or screen doors open when I’m home and often the smell gets in when they smoke. I get really bad headaches from the smell so I try to close them as soon as I catch a whiff. By then it is usually too late and the smell is in my house. I have previously asked them to just shoot me a text when they are lighting it up. They smoke quite often and it’s multiple people so they have different schedules. All I asked was for them to send a quick text before doing it. I don’t have to respond, you don’t have to do anything else. They didn’t do this for the longest time. I would remind them and explain I have really bad migraines because of it. I take pills for it and do all that I can to combat it from my side all that I ask is that they do the bare minimum. Only recently after years of asking have they started to do this and I have thanked them and said how much it helps. This isn’t the problem, I just thought it was important to add to show their mentality when asking for simple considerations.
For the last few years my backyard has been getting remodeled. For a while it has been a bunch of dirt and whatnot. Recently had time to pay more attention to it and finished the remodel. The same neighbors have four big dogs and they use their backyard as a dumping ground for fecal matter. Emphasis on four really big dogs who leave four times the amount of feces and at a larger size. Also the wind blows from their house to ours. As I previously mentioned, I haven’t used the backyard recently due to remodeling so haven’t been back there as much. I have left some of the windows and whatnot open but never have smelled it to the point of it being an issue. Since it is newly refurbished, I’m trying to use my backyard more but the stench is unbearable. It’s hot and is left sitting out there for weeks at a time. I texted them again and explained the situation. I’m not looking to start something up again but I have remodeled and will be using the backyard more. I’m not throwing any loud ragers, just small garden parties. I even told them that you don’t have to keep it squeaky clean but if I am throwing a party a certain day can I text you ahead of time so you have time to remove it before the party? We agreed. First few times it worked. I texted and they removed. I don’t like having to tell them to clean up their own dog poop but I understand compromises must be made. However the last year or so they have become worse and worse with maintaining their end of the deal. Sometimes they don’t text back till the day after the party, they don’t remove it, or have passive aggressive remarks. I don’t throw many parties and they aren’t even always outside. I’d say once a month maybe, so that is only twelve times a year they have to remove it. It has gotten to the point where they haven’t cleaned it up. I’ll set up for outside but the smell is so unbearable my guests end up going back inside. I spent a lot of money and put a lot of hard work into this remodel and would like to use my own backyard. It is my daughter’s birthday this week. I texted them same thing as usual. “Hey I’m having a small party for Lucy and a few of her friends in two days, just wanted to let you know so you have time to clean up the dog stuff, thank you!” A day before the party I got a really passive aggressive reply (more rude than usual) saying, “I can’t drop everything I’m doing every second you want throw a party, I won’t bend to your whim anymore, no wonder your old neighbors left they probably hated you, please stop these threats and harassing me and my husband” I was shocked. We have always been cordial enough and I’m very understanding if something is going on in their personal life, if there was an emergency or they are out of town, etc. I responded back asking them if they were gonna remove it. No response and night before the party now, they still haven’t removed it. I have been patient and understanding for years, this week I’m filing an official complaint with police and their landlord. It is apparently illegal in our city to leave any pet feces on public or private property, it’s a serious health and house code violation. Is there anything I should know or do before filing a complaint. I will not be warning them or giving them any heads up. I have given them plenty of time and leeway but they take advantage of it. I won’t be doing anything petty like egging or TPing so don’t try to suggest that. Thanks to anyone who reads all of this.

My neighbors have lived next to me for about five years. For the most part we have been on pretty good terms. They are heavy smokers and often smoke marijuana and cigarettes. I like to keep a few windows or screen doors open when I’m home and often the smell gets in when they smoke. I get really bad headaches from the smell so I try to close them as soon as I catch a whiff. By then it is usually too late and the smell is in my house. I have previously asked them to just shoot me a text when they are lighting it up. They smoke quite often and it’s multiple people so they have different schedules. All I asked was for them to send a quick text before doing it. I don’t have to respond, you don’t have to do anything else. They didn’t do this for the longest time. I would remind them and explain I have really bad migraines because of it. I take pills for it and do all that I can to combat it from my side all that I ask is that they do the bare minimum. Only recently after years of asking have they started to do this and I have thanked them and said how much it helps. This isn’t the problem, I just thought it was important to add to show their mentality when asking for simple considerations.
For the last few years my backyard has been getting remodeled. For a while it has been a bunch of dirt and whatnot. Recently had time to pay more attention to it and finished the remodel. The same neighbors have four big dogs and they use their backyard as a dumping ground for fecal matter. Emphasis on four really big dogs who leave four times the amount of feces and at a larger size. Also the wind blows from their house to ours. As I previously mentioned, I haven’t used the backyard recently due to remodeling so haven’t been back there as much. I have left some of the windows and whatnot open but never have smelled it to the point of it being an issue. Since it is newly refurbished, I’m trying to use my backyard more but the stench is unbearable. It’s hot and is left sitting out there for weeks at a time. I texted them again and explained the situation. I’m not looking to start something up again but I have remodeled and will be using the backyard more. I’m not throwing any loud ragers, just small garden parties. I even told them that you don’t have to keep it squeaky clean but if I am throwing a party a certain day can I text you ahead of time so you have time to remove it before the party? We agreed. First few times it worked. I texted and they removed. I don’t like having to tell them to clean up their own dog poop but I understand compromises must be made. However the last year or so they have become worse and worse with maintaining their end of the deal. Sometimes they don’t text back till the day after the party, they don’t remove it, or have passive aggressive remarks. I don’t throw many parties and they aren’t even always outside. I’d say once a month maybe, so that is only twelve times a year they have to remove it. It has gotten to the point where they haven’t cleaned it up. I’ll set up for outside but the smell is so unbearable my guests end up going back inside. I spent a lot of money and put a lot of hard work into this remodel and would like to use my own backyard. It is my daughter’s birthday this week. I texted them same thing as usual. “Hey I’m having a small party for Lucy and a few of her friends in two days, just wanted to let you know so you have time to clean up the dog stuff, thank you!” A day before the party I got a really passive aggressive reply (more rude than usual) saying, “I can’t drop everything I’m doing every second you want throw a party, I won’t bend to your whim anymore, no wonder your old neighbors left they probably hated you, please stop these threats and harassing me and my husband” I was shocked. We have always been cordial enough and I’m very understanding if something is going on in their personal life, if there was an emergency or they are out of town, etc. I responded back asking them if they were gonna remove it. No response and night before the party now, they still haven’t removed it. I have been patient and understanding for years, this week I’m filing an official complaint with police and their landlord. It is apparently illegal in our city to leave any pet feces on public or private property, it’s a serious health and house code violation. Is there anything I should know or do before filing a complaint. I will not be warning them or giving them any heads up. I have given them plenty of time and leeway but they take advantage of it. I won’t be doing anything petty like egging or TPing so don’t try to suggest that. Thanks to anyone who reads all of this.

My neighbors have lived next to me for about five years. For the most part we have been on pretty good terms. They are heavy smokers and often smoke marijuana and cigarettes. I like to keep a few windows or screen doors open when I’m home and often the smell gets in when they smoke. I get really bad headaches from the smell so I try to close them as soon as I catch a whiff. By then it is usually too late and the smell is in my house. I have previously asked them to just shoot me a text when they are lighting it up. They smoke quite often and it’s multiple people so they have different schedules. All I asked was for them to send a quick text before doing it. I don’t have to respond, you don’t have to do anything else. They didn’t do this for the longest time. I would remind them and explain I have really bad migraines because of it. I take pills for it and do all that I can to combat it from my side all that I ask is that they do the bare minimum. Only recently after years of asking have they started to do this and I have thanked them and said how much it helps. This isn’t the problem, I just thought it was important to add to show their mentality when asking for simple considerations.
For the last few years my backyard has been getting remodeled. For a while it has been a bunch of dirt and whatnot. Recently had time to pay more attention to it and finished the remodel. The same neighbors have four big dogs and they use their backyard as a dumping ground for fecal matter. Emphasis on four really big dogs who leave four times the amount of feces and at a larger size. Also the wind blows from their house to ours. As I previously mentioned, I haven’t used the backyard recently due to remodeling so haven’t been back there as much. I have left some of the windows and whatnot open but never have smelled it to the point of it being an issue. Since it is newly refurbished, I’m trying to use my backyard more but the stench is unbearable. It’s hot and is left sitting out there for weeks at a time. I texted them again and explained the situation. I’m not looking to start something up again but I have remodeled and will be using the backyard more. I’m not throwing any loud ragers, just small garden parties. I even told them that you don’t have to keep it squeaky clean but if I am throwing a party a certain day can I text you ahead of time so you have time to remove it before the party? We agreed. First few times it worked. I texted and they removed. I don’t like having to tell them to clean up their own dog poop but I understand compromises must be made. However the last year or so they have become worse and worse with maintaining their end of the deal. Sometimes they don’t text back till the day after the party, they don’t remove it, or have passive aggressive remarks. I don’t throw many parties and they aren’t even always outside. I’d say once a month maybe, so that is only twelve times a year they have to remove it. It has gotten to the point where they haven’t cleaned it up. I’ll set up for outside but the smell is so unbearable my guests end up going back inside. I spent a lot of money and put a lot of hard work into this remodel and would like to use my own backyard. It is my daughter’s birthday this week. I texted them same thing as usual. “Hey I’m having a small party for Lucy and a few of her friends in two days, just wanted to let you know so you have time to clean up the dog stuff, thank you!” A day before the party I got a really passive aggressive reply (more rude than usual) saying, “I can’t drop everything I’m doing every second you want throw a party, I won’t bend to your whim anymore, no wonder your old neighbors left they probably hated you, please stop these threats and harassing me and my husband” I was shocked. We have always been cordial enough and I’m very understanding if something is going on in their personal life, if there was an emergency or they are out of town, etc. I responded back asking them if they were gonna remove it. No response and night before the party now, they still haven’t removed it. I have been patient and understanding for years, this week I’m filing an official complaint with police and their landlord. It is apparently illegal in our city to leave any pet feces on public or private property, it’s a serious health and house code violation. Is there anything I should know or do before filing a complaint. I will not be warning them or giving them any heads up. I have given them plenty of time and leeway but they take advantage of it. I won’t be doing anything petty like egging or TPing so don’t try to suggest that. Thanks to anyone who reads all of this.

Our neighborhood is dealing with a serious issue concerning a shared access road that connects to about 20 residential driveways. According to the county assessor website and maps, this road is in the common area. According to California Civil Code §845, which states:
"The owner of any easement shall maintain it in repair."
and as an easement, its maintenance and repair should be the responsibility of the easement owner (HOA). I've even asked the county if they could take control of the road and they want nothing to do with it.
The HOA’s bylaws and CC&Rs state that homeowners are responsible for the road’s upkeep. I disagree with this and even attempted to form a road repair association with my neighbors, but less than half of the residents are willing to cooperate. This leaves a few homeowners unfairly shouldering the financial burden for repairs, which seems to contradict the fiduciary duty of the HOA.
The road has been in terrible condition for decades, with sections barely covered in asphalt, numerous potholes, and further damage caused by rain and snow each year. The road’s poor state I feel poses a risk to emergency services, which could get stuck or slide off the mountain. Repair quotes range from $80,000 for subpar work to over $200,000 for quality repairs.
Unfortunately, I can't compel homeowners to pay their share or impose liens on them since a proper road association requires unanimous homeowner approval. Every year, when snow falls, it becomes a significant headache, and the turnover rate for homeowners on this street is unusually high because of it and honestly affects the value of every home connected to this street.
I have no choice but to sell at this point, sadly. This was going to be my forever home and given to my daughter.
Do I hire a lawyer? Do I have a leg to stand on? Is it worth fighting?

Hi I’m a 29 year old female. When I was 13, I fell pregnant. This wasn’t a consensual relationship, I was a virgin who didn’t really even know how babies were made, i still played with barbies, I was raped by my friends 23 year old brother during a sleepover.
I didn’t tell anybody. I didn’t know I was pregnant, Id only started my periods a few months prior so there absence didn’t concern me and like I said, I didn’t really know how babies were made beyond the basics. I found out I was pregnant at 29 weeks when I went to ER with my parents for stomach pain.
My parents were very angry at me despite the circumstances. He was convicted and imprisoned. They tried to find a doctor who’d give me an abortion but none would due to gestation. They said I had to give the baby up and I went along with it, I had no support from them and I grew up having a very cold relationship with them. When my daughter was born I was inconsolable and didn’t want to give her up. I refused to and my daughter was forcefully taken from me at the hospital. After which I was hysterical and had to be sedated. I made attempts on my life in the months after that. I was then put in to boarding school, where I stayed until I was 18.
It wasn’t an open adoption, I was allowed to leave a letter with her and I also left her my necklace which was my prized possession at the time. The adoptive mother stated she wanted no contact which I was devastated about but the social worker told me I could have contact when she turned 18. After I turned 18 and left boarding school, I moved in with my Nan whilst attending university. My Nan gave me so much love and care and was very disappointed in my parents (my Nan had no knowledge of me even being pregnant)
When I was 21 I graduated and I also got pregnant, that relationship didn’t work out but I’ve since married and had 3 more children. But I’ve never stopped thinking about my first born. I gave birth to her on my 14th birthday so we share a birthday and every birthday I feel like I’m grieving. I go through periods of just crying and staying in bed feeling guilty at what I’d done. I still feel so guilty and I can’t cope with guilt.
Anyway, my daughter who is now 15 found me on Facebook 2 weeks ago (I have a distinct name and I still use my maiden name on there) she messaged me an angry message and then blocked me so I couldn’t even respond.
She messaged me saying that she hates me and I’m dead to her, she told me how much she loves her adoptive mother and as far as she’s concerned I don’t exist. She says I’ve turned her in to a “messed up person” She told me how she thought I was a disgusting person for giving her up for adoption because I wanted to “enjoy life without the burden of a child” her words. She called me a slut (among other words) and questioned why I was having sex at 13. She said that she hoped my other children die and called them racist terms (they are mixed) because she is angry that I kept them and not her and that she felt that meant I wasn’t good enough. She then went on to say her adoptive mother told her that
1: My parents (her bio grandparents) wanted her but I refused to look after her and wanted her to be adopted.
2: I wanted an abortion and told adoptive mother that I wished I could have had an abortion
3: That adoptive mother had reached out to me when I was 21 and pregnant with her first sibling to ask if I wanted contact, and I (according to her birth mum) said I didn’t care about her and wanted to forget the whole thing and asked her not to contact me again.
4: That I was sleeping around with a lot of men my age and didn’t know her bio dad as I’d been with so many male school friends which is why I got sent to boarding school because I was “out of control”
All the above are just outright lies. I am glad she doesn’t know the circumstances of her conception, I’d be happy if bio mum had told her for example that her father was a childhood boyfriend of mine because the truth is something she shouldn’t know until she’s older, but to suggest I was sleeping around with multiple men at the age of 13 and didn’t know who he was is disgusting when it’s not true.
Im not able to contact her back because she’s blocked me. I’ve looked at her profile from my husbands account, I’ve seen her bio mums Facebook profile but I don’t intend to contact either of them as much as I want to because I guess I will just tell her everything when she’s 18 if she wants to hear it because perhaps now is not the appropriate age.
Her mums Facebook shows that she is her only child, that she’s now divorced (her and her husband adopted my daughter so she’s since divorced him) they seem very close and have lots of pictures together.
Her Facebook is concerning and it’s public so I could see everything. She posts quotes about depression and anxiety, has scars on her wrists which I fear may be SH scars) writes status’ such as “no body cares about me I may as well just die” constantly posts pictures laying in a hospital bed.
I have since informed social services about what I’ve seen on Facebook and they’ve just told me that they can not discuss this with me due to confidentiality as she’s legally not my child but have said they can assure me that they are doing everything necessary to ensure she is ok.
I don’t really know what to do. She has a false impression of me told by her adoptive mother. None of which is true, she was so wanted and I’ve never got over it. I now fear that her thinking I rejected her and didn’t want her and she wasn’t good enough has led to some serious mental health issues and potentially these will only get worse or she could harm herself very badly based on lots of lies.
I want her to know I love her, I want her to know I wanted her but I was forced to give her up, I want her to know that I still love her and always will and that I’d do anything for her. I want to tell her I was never contacted by adoptive mother and had I have been I would have jumped at the opportunity to even just talk to my daughter. I want to tell her that I do know her bio father and I wasn’t sleeping with multiple men (although the truth regarding the rape shouldn’t be disclosed right now) I just want her to know all of this, but I’m powerless until she is 18. I have been told if I message her from a different account since I’m blocked I could face legal charges.
I am so scared of her hurting herself based on lies. Her adoptive mum whilst I believe does love her, has poisoned my daughter against me in an attempt to get my daughter to hate me because she doesn’t want daughter potentially coming back to me or forming a relationship with me and her getting pushed out, so she’s said all of this to make that impossible so she will be her only mother.
But that’s to the detriment of my daughter, my daughter clearly has mental health issues and whilst they could be from other things I know that feeling unloved, unwanted and having being told this information that is outright lies must be weighing heavily on her and making her feel inadequate. I can’t imagine if I was adopted and I heard things like that about my bio mum, it would devastate me and I would hate myself.
I don’t know what I’m hoping to gain from this post just looking for advice. I can contact her in 3 years. But I’m scared in those 3 years something bad could happen with the way her mental health is, and that something bad may happen without her knowing the truth about how much I love her.
I’ve been off sick from work since, I have been an emotional wreck. I just hope she’s okay even if she does hate me. Of course I’d love to tell her the truth but more than anything I want her to know the truth for the sake of her own mental well-being even if that means she still doesn’t want to speak to me. Social services just keep telling me that they can’t discuss anything with her about me beyond the basics of the fact that she’s adopted. The rest is down to adoptive mother to disclose if she wishes. When she is 18 she will get access to her file and know the true circumstances but until then, everything she knows is based on lies.

Hi Reddit, throw away account for obvious reasons but y’all are a lot cheaper than therapy so here we go. I know this is long but I feel that the context is important.
TL;DR - I need advice for how to tell my mom that I intend to go no contact with my mom because I can’t deal with her husband’s alcohol fueled innappropriate behavior in my life anymore especially now that I have a family of my own. I already had a long heart to heart explaining where I’m coming from and she appeared to understand and even agree, but she still makes excuses for her husband.
I (31 F) have a young daughter only a few months old. My mom (57 F) has been married to my stepdad (60 M) for 28 years, and I’ve never gotten along with him. He’s an alcoholic, and for lack of a better description, turns into a belligerent asshole when he’s drunk, which is of course all the time. He’s extremely inappropriate and vulgar in public and even at important family events (weddings, funerals, etc), and generally makes everyone, including his own family members uncomfortable. Unfortunately, my mom has been with him for so long that she makes excuses for him, and is constantly manipulated by him. There have been prior domestic violence incidents where I’ve called the police, and she lies for him. They’re both retired, and she’s super intelligent so is constantly wanting to learn new things, but he prevents her from doing any hobbies or additional education that makes her happy - especially if alcohol isn’t involved or if it’s inconveniences him.
So this weekend, both of them flew in from out of town - we live almost 1,000 miles away across a few states - to spend some time with my daughter, and to celebrate my birthday and Mother’s Day. We also scheduled our daughter’s baptism for this same weekend so my mom could attend since she’s recently taken up an interest in my religion.
I knew there would be a problem pretty quickly after they landed. We have small a local airport only 10 minutes away from us, but they always choose to fly to a larger international airport in a different state, rent a car, and drive over 2 hours to get here. There was an issue with their rental car and my mom started texting me to complain about it. I tried to brush it off and not get annoyed, but this happens every single time they come and there are obviously more convenient options. It took them over 3 1/2 hours to get to our city from the airport and I get texts like “omg we finally just now made it to our airbnb”.
I called her and it was clear that they had been drinking either on the plane, in the airports, or more likely than not, both - even though it was barely noon. She was annoyed and asked about our impending dinner reservation, which was several hours away still. I asked if she was going to come to our house to see her granddaughter beforehand, but she wanted to “relax” at the airbnb (aka drink more) and that my stepdad was trying to find a last minute barber in town because he was apparently unhappy with how his hair was overgrown. Never heard him mention a barber in my life so this was extremely strange to me.
A few hours go by and we’ve got about 30 minutes before we have to leave for dinner. I get a text from my mom asking if we can go pick her up at the airbnb alone. Due to my stepdads history I asked if everything was ok, and all I got in reply was “no”. I sent my husband over there and she was waiting on the street. When she got in his car and he asked if she was alright, she jokingly said “oh well I’m single now”.
I didn’t get much info out of her except he was “cranky” about their travel day and mad he couldn’t find a barber - again - so fucking random. They had gotten into a verbal altercation and he locked himself in the bathroom for over an hour. We’re talking about a 60 year old man here.. some people never grow up I guess. So she comes to dinner with the rest of our group of family and friends and acts like everything is ok. I tried to insist that she stay at our house that night because I didn’t feel that it was safe, but she went back to the airbnb anyway.
When she got back there, my stepdad and their rental car was gone, and he had turned off his location from her view. I called her and had a long hour conversation about how this behavior isn’t ok, that he’s manipulative, and that we’d be happy to let her live with us if that’s what it takes to get her out of this toxic relationship. She cried and agreed that what he does isn’t ok and that it’s a huge struggle for her and said “I’m not 100% sure but I think this is it for me finally”.
I wasn’t happy that it had come to this but I was glad to have a breakthrough with her, and be able to be blatantly honest. Also needs to be mentioned that when I talk to her on the phone, it is ALWAYS on speaker and he’s listening in. Even if he’s in the bathroom, she asks me to recap what I said if he comes back. Not just me, other family members notice this too.
While on this hour long conversation we talked about how he is no longer invited to my daughters baptism the next day or to my house and I offered to have my husband and I tell him ourselves, which she insisted that she wanted to handle herself to “soften the blow”.
So all this transpires, he apparently came back to the airbnb very late and apologized to her, and today she attended my daughter’s baptism alone. She was clearly upset about his absence, but I stood my ground. She asked if I had changed my mind about the rest of the weekend because “he was so apologetic” to her, and I again said no. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last time but I’ve had enough over the last 28 years of him manipulating my mom. While we were packing up to leave the church she told me that she would probably be spending time with him because “he wouldn’t be ok” hanging out alone for the rest of the weekend. She also suggested that she would try to fly out again in a few weeks alone after the dust settles to spend time with me and my daughter.
When we were walking to our cars, my mom was borderline crying, didn’t say goodbye to me or my daughter, got into the car (she hitched a right with one of our friends since we didn’t have room in our car) and left. She didn’t come to our house, she didn’t show up for our planned lunch reservation, and she hasn’t said a word to me since.
At this point even if she does reach out and not just fly home in the next few days I’ve decided that the option is 1) she can be a part of my life and my family’s life if her husband isn’t around or 2) no-contact. I wish I could say this is the first time I’ve gone no-contact with them, but there were a time period over 10 years ago that I didn’t speak to them either and that lasted 3 years.
I know she’s not going to take it well when I tell her, and I’ve accepted the fact that she’s likely going to stay with him even if it means never seeing her granddaughter again. Or IF I get to tell her at all since she is not talking to me. Her airbnb is literally 1/2 mile from my house and we can see each other’s location so I know she’s just there with him and ghosting me.
So now I feel that I’m in a stalemate waiting for her to talk to me, just so that I can tell her that I can’t have her as a part of my life if her husband is always tagging along. I also want to make it clear that while I think it would be better that she divorce him, that’s not the ultimatum I’m wanting to communicate to her.

Long story short: I got a vasectomy yesterday morning. I know I don't want kids. It's just never been an aspiration of mine, not even in my happiest moments when I'm with my nephew whom I share a birthday with. Not even when I would watch him and his father (my brother) playing and having a good time. That "want" just has never been there for me. Additionally, I don't want every sexual interaction I have with a girl to be ruined in my head by the fear of a condom breaking, no matter how effective it may be. So I felt the best option would be to have this procedure done.
In the minutes leading up to me walking into my doctor's office, I felt fear stop me in my tracks, contemplating getting back in my car and going home. But I pressed on and was in the procedure room in less than five minutes. The doctor was very casual and professional, starting a conversation with me and going from there. But at the first sensation of the anesthetic needle going in, panic nearly overcame me and I started to hyperventilate a bit. Not enough to cause alarm for the doctor, mind you. But enough that he gently ushered me to just breathe normally. And I slowly got better. There were a few other moments of discomfort, but the procedure was done in about 20 minutes I reckon.
But as soon as I got to my car, I cried more than I have in a long, long time. Even when I've been at my lowest, I just don't really cry. But I legitimately was like this for a few minutes. I even wished my dad was there with me just for comfort (he's on a cruise with my mother). But I managed to collect myself and got home safe.
And yet, after only a few hours and into today, I've hardly thought about it. Granted I've been busy doing things around the house. But it's like my brain has come to the realization of "You were crying over something so trivial. You're fine". And I am fine, physically anyway. Mild pain and that's it.
But I thought about Seneca's quote above and how I, to use the old phrase, made a mountain out of a molehill. Yes this is a life altering procedure. But waking up this morning and realizing the worst was now behind me, and that this fear I had has gone...it's liberating. Truly.

In case people have not been keeping up with hybe vs MHJ, a lot has happened recently. Hybe wants to use their majority shareholder powers to fire MHJ, but MHJ obviously does not want them to do that so now they are going to court to see if Hybe can fire MHJ. In court, Hybe claimed "CEO Min wanted NewJeans members to be mentally subordinate to her. She gaslighted the members into believing they had a mothedaughter relationship." They also released KKT messages to the public of MHJ saying degrading things about the NewJeans members. Because hybe presented evidence and perjury is illegal, pretty much everyone (aside from some NewJeans fans who support MHJ) responded to these statements believing hybe was telling the truth and the NewJeans members had been victims of gaslighting and abuse since they were young teens and/or preteens. However, when it was released that at the beginning of the trial, NewJeans members submitted a petition in favor of MHJ, everyone aside from bunnies turned on the girls and started judging them from supporting MHJ. It is crazy how according to a source they deem reliable, NewJeans have been "manipulated using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning" (dictionary definition of gaslighting), yet they still feel comfortable victim blaming young girls
Also, since everyone always responds to posts like this with "that is just twitter shit you should pay no mind to," I thought I would mention that the comments after NewJeans' petition was publicized and before they the kpop mega thread got locked were very critical of the NewJeans members.
https://www.reddit.com/kpop/comments/1csh5yw/comment/l4k5st
85 upvotes "They themselves are too entitled and prideful as well and now I’m sure hyein meant that statement in regards to illit." (context for the Hyein part, she posted a pic showing Haerin copying her outfit and captioned it "stop copying." the post gained no attention until over a month later when people wanted an excuse to bully a 16 year old girl on her birthday and say she made the post to incite hate on illit).
https://www.reddit.com/kpop/comments/1csh5yw/comment/l4k9fah/
182 upvotes "I used to listen them casually but I have completely stopped and will not return ever."
https://www.reddit.com/kpop/comments/1csh5yw/comment/l4k80d6/
148 upvotes "I don't think I am gonna listen to New jeans for a long time now."
https://www.reddit.com/kpop/comments/1csh5yw/comment/l4k85ts/
100 upvotes "NJ’s involvement and most critically their petition in favor of MHJ has soured my view on them"

So I (30f) and my best friend for years (26M) let's call him John. So John and I have been best friends for many many years, about 3 years ago he moved about 2 hours away from me. We still talked every day or played video games together every night, that was our thing. Well about 6 months ago he started dating this girl (25f) let's call her Mary. Well Mary has a 1 yr old daughter, after only 2 months he moved her into his house. That didn't bother me I tried to be Mary's friend I sent Christmas gifts for her and her daughter, we had no issues until about a month ago. John stopped calling me or answering my calls or getting on Xbox or anything. For context I have never let anyone come in between our friendship ever, well Mary was ok with us being friends until I lost my job and could no longer send money to help them with bills or gifts, I used to even order instacart with groceries for them and baby food and anything else they needed. For context they do both work, I was just trying to help them out since I used to make more than enough to pay my bills and have some extra, now my boyfriend is the one paying the bills and we can't afford to do a lot of extra stuff. Back to John and Mary...... One day I just stopped getting phone calls, messages or video calls and he would ignore my calls and messages in return. I finally got a call about 3 weeks ago and I said "oh wow haven't heard from you, are you guys ok? How is Mary and the baby doing? I hope all is well" he responded with "yeah Mary went to the store so I can call you" Inside my head I'm thinking in my best Charlotte impression "I beg your finest pardon?" Then he had the audacity to ask me for money. I am only a friend as long as I'm doing for them, as soon as I couldn't afford to help them I'm a no body. Might I add they both currently work full time each. I was only helping because I am that kind of friend. I stopped hearing from them again for weeks, I'm guessing he could only talk to me with her not around. Anyway, fast forward to May 5th 2024, it is my 30th birthday. I didn't do anything that day but I the following weekend I had family over and we had hamburgers and played music and enjoyed each other's company. I heard nothing from John or Mary. I waited to see if I would at least get a text. I didn't ask anyone for anything but I figured I could at least get a text saying happy birthday. I didn't think that was too much to ask it takes 5 seconds and it would have meant a lot to me. Well I still haven't heard anything from either of them. So I sent John a text saying all I asked was to be acknowledged for one day, he didn't have to get me anything all I wanted was a text or a call just saying happy birthday. He read the message and did not reply. In fact he messaged my boyfriend let's call him Tom (31M) he told Tom that I was bothering him and that Mary was getting suspicious and thought him and I were sleeping together behind her back since I was no longer paying her bills for her there had to be something going on behind her back. First of all, it was ok when I was buying stuff for them and her daughter but now that I can't all of a sudden I'm sleeping with him. She had no issues with our friendship when I was sending money. So I sent John one last message and told him if he wanted to be with her that's fine whatever but I will no longer send them money or associate with her in any way shape or form. I am not an ATM and I will not be used as such. John had never asked me for money at any point in our friendship I helped because I wanted to. But, I told him if I didn't matter to him enough to send a two word text then I must not matter enough to receive my money and I would have nothing to do with them until they get their priorities straight. I have heard nothing from them but John has messaged Tom many times asking if I would answer my phone so he could ask me for help. No, nope, nata, no sir, not, nothing and not going to happen. I put my foot down and I've stood by it. Tom tells me I'm being petty and should talk to him and see if John and I can work things out. I told him I would work things out with John if he stopped asking for money and allowing Mary to come in between our friendship. I don't know if I'm just being overly petty or if I'm not being petty enough haha. Please reddit help me out, am I over reacting just because he didn't message me on my birthday or should I cave and help them again?

Follow up to previous post. Can't access original throw away.
I need to try and talk to 41M because I don't think he realises how bad the situation is from my point of view. Thing is he's so self absorbed with work and himself that he can't see how unhappy and exhausted I am.
Also, he is not prepared to entertain a discussion if it differs from how he wants things to be. I know he's not prepared to work less. I know he's not prepared to help more. But I need to give him the opportunity to prove me wrong.
I also, don't want my daughter to not have a father.
But I'm not sure I can even fall in love with him again and can a leopard really changes his spots? I'll be left doing every school run, bedtime, and birthday party until she's old enough to go on her own.
If I try and talk to him about anything he's gets defensive and says "that's the way it is, I can't change, I don't have capacity, etc." and then he will either shout at me to leave him alone and go in a different room (if I follow he continues shouting to be left alone) or leaves the house entirely.
How am I even supposed to have an open and honest conversation that drives change?
How do I know if I even want that & when is it time to call it a day?
I've spent all day out with our little girl on my own again today. I love our time but I'm so tired & sad & angry & resentful. I shouted at him and then I apologised. When did I become such a door mat?

and my ndad has made it all about him, for the third year running.
I came off a video call with him earlier which obviously ended up in an argument, I hadn't meant for it to go that way, I thought it was just going to be a normal conversation about birthday plans. I should have known better I guess and had the conversation away from my son because after the call I started crying and he said 'grandad makes mummy cry'
In that instance I felt so terrible that he had to see that, had to hear me raise my voice at someone I know he cares about. I should have kept my cool and never let it happen but I'm only human, a daughter whose feelings are constantly getting hurt. And my son is only 3, he doesn't understand yet what his grandad can really be like towards his mummy. My son gave me kisses and stroked my arm and showed me more love than my dad ever has in my entire life.
For context I told my ndad about birthday plans weeks ago, I made sure of it because he is a stickler for things being arranged in advance. So I said, if the weather is nice we are going to the beach, simple as that. If it's raining we will go to a forest. And then today on the call he asked what we were doing because he 'thought he might go on a day out somewhere' I said we were going to the beach, and that I had told him about it. He said no I hadn't, I was making it up, delusional, completely in the wrong and that I spoke down to him. In the end I just shouted 'do not do this, I told you what the plan was, if you don't want to come you don't have too' so that's when he said he wouldn't be coming, and couldn't understand why we would even want to go to THAT particular beach anyway. Sigh. I should have known better.

Spoilers ahead, read at own risk
So, I just watched Bad Blood yesterday, and I'm kinda confused. Kate was visibly not very happy about Batman saving her, and she didn't have any admiration towards him before that apparently, so why exactly does she take up the mantle of Batwoman? I understand her motivation for becoming a vigilante, but why specifically Batwoman? Luke becomes Batwing pretty much because his armor is bat themed, Nightwing becomes Batman, because well, someone had to and he's the most qualified for it, and although Batgirl only shows up for a brief moment at the end, we can understand why she would be inclined to do so, being the daughter of Gordon, who most likely tells her stories about Batman saving the day
But Kate? She was not at all too satisfied to see Batman, had no previous connection whatsoever to him, didn't even use the same methods
So, to quote Alfred in Begins: "Why bats, master Wayne?"

I am a 52m recently separated from my ex (49f) of 18 yrs. We share custody (week on, week off) with our 2 children, a 13 yr old daughter and soon-to-be 15 yr old son.
The relationship ended mostly amicably, noone cheated on each other, as far as I know. Just drifted apart, 'friend-zoned'. When we split we agreed that I would stay in our old 4-bdrm family home for a few more years, while our kids were still at high school (we lived right next door to my son’s high school). I would continue to pay down our mortgage (on my own) and also pay for any additional renovations (on my own) that we still have left to complete, since buying the place 4 yrs ago. When the time comes to sell she will get her 50%.
She agreed to move out into her own 3-bdrm rental out by the beach. I am paying her child support, as she only earns about 1/3 of what I do in her part time (30hrs/wk) job. The rest of her income comes from Govt social support. We have a joint bank account where we both put money into to cover the kids general needs.
This week is my son's 15th birthday, he's big into gaming, basketball and fishing. When he moves between our two places he's brings his Xbox with him. I have paid for two computer monitors, one at each property, just so he can do this easily and be happy. He has a home-made basketball hoop (that he helped me build & paint for him when he was a young 10 year old lad) mounted on the outside of my house for him to practice, whenever he stays with me.
My ex emailed me to ask me what I think 'we' should get him for his birthday, i.e. share costs for. She listed two things, firstly a free-standing basketball hoop, and a gaming chair (all up around $1000 total), both to be used only at her place, for his enjoyment there.
I've refused to help her buy these particular options, I'd prefer it if we spent our money on something that he'll enjoy getting the benefits from wherever he may be. Like new clothes, a new device, a new bike, fishing gear etc, or a shared family experience with both of us present. I thought that was reasonable.
My ex-wife thinks I'm being a jerk with this stance, for not agreeing to pay anything for these particular presents, to help furnish her house or his bedroom there. She's suggesting that it's not fair that he can play basketball at my place and not hers, or that he feels more comfortable playing video games at my place, and not hers. She’s now accusing me of starting to play some kind petty 'tit-for-tat' game with her, by ‘not fairly contributing enough towards my son's happiness on his birthday’.
My fear is that I am indeed being unnecessarily picky with this battle, being too selfish, and denying her the right to be able to make her home as happy or as comfortable as mine, for my son to live in.
AITA?

Hi,
I'm having a really difficult day and looking for a virtual shoulder to cry on. It's my birthday and also happens to be my cousin's wedding day. I'm incredibly happy for them, and truly, this post isn't about that. My previous partner and I broke up around two months ago and it's killing me that she's not here to share in the experience of this trip. We were together for two years, which I understand isn't super long, but it's the longest consecutive relationship I've been in, the most serious, and by far had felt the most safe (a point I'm realizing after the fact, unfortunately).
I need to leave in a few minutes for the wedding ceremony, and I'm having a hell of a time just getting myself composed. I will not take away from the wedding and will frankly hide out in the bathroom until it's all over if I have to, but I'm working on settling down here. I just miss her immensely today, but frankly, every day. She would have loved/hated how tacky this Airbnb is decorated. We would have gotten a great laugh together when passing the potato field on the way here and quoting "PO-TAY-TOES" from Lord of the Rings. She would have enjoyed strolling around the small downtown area in the morning with our coffees just enjoying each other's company.
She sent me a "happy birthday" text, which I really appreciated. I sent a "thanks" back, but I so wish I could have said more. As hard as it would have been, hearing her voice would mean everything today. There were boundaries set on communication and I need to respect that, but God it's killing me. Just to hear how she's doing, what she's been up to, how her friends and family and dog are doing, how transitioning into her full-time role at work went. Just... anything. Instead I'm holed up in my Airbnb and holding the stuffed buffalo we picked up on previous road trip - just trying to feel some connection to her. I feel ridiculous, but I don't care.
Honey, I miss you so much. I wish you well every day, and hope you're doing okay.
Thanks for listening.

we've been together for about a year now, and are both uni students. i work part time as a retail assistant and dont earn much, I am also the oldest daughter and have a lot of financial responsibilities at home. my partner isnt employed as such but makes a lot dealing with cars. initially when we were starting going out, he would offer to pay for food and probably has done about only a handful of times because i felt awkward and didnt wanna burden him. i would offer to pay in the beginning as a gesture and expected it to be a sort of 50/50 situation however since the beginning i have always been paying for food now and its getting a lot. its like paying for food and stuff in general is just my responsibility now. but its not direct as in if we're about to get food he'll say he cant because he has no money or because he'd rather save his money. this would result in us just not going anywhere or doing anything so i would just offer to pay and then we'd be able to go. even if its just greggs. now he will just ask me to buy food and if we're in a group setting he'll just say that i always buy him food and stuff, awkwardly giving that responsibility to me again. if it was a situation in which he was not able to i wouldnt mind at all because i love him. but he can, his family are financially stable unlike mine, he's saved up enough to buy a house himself and goes to fancy places out with his friends all the time. he has gotten comfortable asking me to buy him things too aside from food. i had bought him a lot of things for his birthday but he had complained that i didnt pay attention to him and that i dont pay attention to stuff he likes. he asked me to buy him a hoodie which was £200 and would make backhanded comments saying if i didnt think he was worth spending my money on it was fine. i felt so bad and bought it for him. he's now saying that if he doesn't get a ps5 for himself, if i could buy one for him. he already has a ps4 and has never touched it or mentioned it the whole time we've been together. as well as this things that i buy for myself he'll ask if he can have too, these are little things but they add up. for example power banks, i had one and he had asked if he could have one, so a. couple weeks later i bought anotehr one because i needed it. he asked if he could have the newer one cause it was better and gave me the old one back. i feel as though i am not respected, i know that he loves me but i feel a lot of pressure in our relationship. now uni has finished and he had been out somehwere and the conversation came up of him being hungry. i had told him he should go get food and said he wouldnt waste his money on that and had asked me if i could send him money for food, i tried to laugh it off and he had asked if i couldnt even send him enough for a meal deal, which sort of made me feel icky. i dont know what to do and what to say, i've told him im not his mum but that turned into me being the bad guy. i think im slowly losing interest due to this and other probelms in our relationship but i do love him a lot and he loves me a lot but i feel like im not respected? idk

I have experienced loss, but never had it been so close. Pluto was there when my best friend decided to get married and not have contact with me. Pluto was there when I had to move back in with my dad. Pluto was there when my daughter was in the hospital. Pluto was there when my daughter was s/a. Pluto was there when we had no home. Pluto was there when my daughter was rehospitalized and I had no hope. he was the reason I was able to get back-and-forth every day. I knew I had to take care of him. Pluto was there to celebrate every joy for 10 years. Every birthday, every milestone, he was there. He’s been gone a year. I have not gone a day without grieving. Then I saw a puppy that looked exactly like Pluto, but a female. We got her. She is nothing like him, and it’s perfect. I think I just needed to be able to say goodbye to him in my time. Now the new dog is helping me see life is possible after he is gone. I can truly let him go without letting my memories die. What I am just realizing I think I had broken heart syndrome. I was diagnosed with pericarditis and then a couple weeks later endocarditis. I think my heart was weak from all the grief. I’ve read about stuff like this, but I just never thought it through. Am I just crazy or has anyone else ever felt this way or had this happen?