All arranged marriage are not bad, all arranged marriage are not good. All love marriage are not good and all love marriage are not bad too. People can be happy if they are into Arranged Marriage too.
If you think only the love marriage and live-in works then you are wrong. We have seen so many horror stories regarding this too.
You can never know what could go against you or in favor of you.
As for being independent, stop laughing to the women who are housewife. Being independent doesn't only mean financially independent. Even if you are earning in millions and your opinion hardly matter in your house then you are not an independent women. You are just a money making machine.
Independent women are those whose opinion matters in their house and they are asked their opinion. They are allowed to take decision and they are part of any decision making process.
So, STOP LAUGHING AND MAKING THE PEOPLE FEEL DOWN WHO ARE INTO ARRANGED MARRIAGE AND A HOUSEWIFE. It can be their own choice too.

Using a throw away as I have siblings that use Reddit.
I don't know if posting is a good idea or not but I just needed to vent.
I'm the first born daughter in a very religious family. As first born daughters typically are, I've been through eldest daughter syndrome and parentification starting when I was about 16, but being prepped for it since I was 8 years old. My main responsibility is taking care of my mother, who has a lot of health issues. My father just simply refuses to take care of her. My responsibilities have expanded to (in addition of still caring for my mother) being the cook, maid, nurse, mediator, pretty much everything around the house.
When I turned 18 (I'm currently in my early 20s)I left the religion they raised me in, and going through a faith/identity crisis like that taught me a lot about narcissists and emotional abuse and I started putting the pieces together that how my parents treat me is not normal or okay. I've been working extremely hard to be able to get away from them and I'm hoping that I can finally leave before the year is over.
My plan was to leave and go no contact with them for a while and after I've started healing, see if they are finally willing to put effort into being parents. But after these last two weeks, I think they might've put in the final nail in the coffin for any hope of having a relationship with them one day.
Recently I had a huge health scare that's taking me a while to recover from. It started with comments in the ER from my father about how great it was that this happened to me so that he could leave work early, but those types of comments are normal from him. I mean he's told me straight to my face that he's never even recognized me as a human being before,let alone his daughter.
A few days later, I was home but could barely walk and was in so much pain and my mother decided to make a joke about it and started laughing at me and told me that it's okay for her to say that because she wasn't feeling good. That same night my father told me how great it would be if I died in my sleep so that he could make a lot of money by suing the ER doctor.
Then there was today... We had a neighborhood event today that I was helping plan before all this health stuff happened. Being that my mom and I were both not doing good we agreed that it would be best if we didn't stay outside, just say hi, and go back inside. She was aware of how bad I was doing, but she made us stay outside and kept making me run around to grab stuff for her. I couldn't go back inside myself because she needed help to walk and refuses to let anyone else help her. I told her three times that I wasn't doing well. She was obviously not doing well either but she has this obsession to make everyone think that everything with her and her family is perfectly fine. Until today, I didn't realize she cared more about her impression than my health.
Afterwards, she was mad at me for spending the evening resting in my room and not spending time with my parents in the living room and tried to gaslight me, claiming that I was the one that made us stay outside for so long.
I have a plan to get out, which hopefully will be finished by the end of the year. Somehow after all that, I still love them. I'm just so tired of sacrificing everything for them and being treated like shit in return.
People tend to wonder why I don't just pack up my stuff and leave or set boundaries, but it's a lot more complicated with the kind of parents I have. Trust me, as soon as I can leave, I will.

This sucks. This sucks. This sucks. I hate it!!! For the last 7 years of my life, it has been nothing but filled with sadness, regret and losing tons of money. And you know what’s worse? I keep doing it over and over again. I want to get married, I want to start a family. I want to buy a house, a car and all the nice things people usually do that don’t have to deal with addiction. I have done everything in my power to make it stop. Go to GA, therapists, handing my finances to a loved one. NOTHING WORKS! Imagine living a life where you’re eagerly waiting to die so that you can finally be at peace because you won’t have to deal with gambling addiction.

I (22M) moved out of my parents house last October. I found a beautiful 3 bedroom that I’m sharing with 3 other people. Sal (20M), Alex (19M), and Frank (22M).
After about 7 months of of living together, I was having a conversation with another friend about how we were splitting the rent, and he pointed out that I had been effectively paying rent for Alex and Frank, based on the way we had calculated the split.
As a result of this, I came to them with a proposal, looking to start a conversation towards maybe finding a more fair and equitable split. It ended with both Alex and Frank requesting to move out, before the end of our 12-month lease. This is fine with both myself and the landlord, as long as we found a replacement.
Now, at some point I messed up, and told them that I had a friend, Bill (23M), ready to move in the next month.
They proceeded to sign a new lease at a new place, and Bill told me he needed another month. The issue is that Bill never signed anything taking over responsibility for the lease.
Today, Alex and Frank are angry at me for “screwing them over”, when in my opinion they jumped the gun and moved too quickly. I offered to pay for a third of their rent, understanding that there was some miscommunication on my part, but they don’t want to take any responsibility, but say that they’ll “do me a favor” and pay for 50% of their remaining rent.
What should I do? AITAH in this situation? Should we split it evenly, go 50/50, or have one side pay all of it?
Thanks for any advice

I'm currently going through the divorce process after being married since 2018. A little bit of back ground. I met my husband back in community college when I was 19 and he was 24. I was really immature and didn't understand the concept of what a healthy relationship should look like. I had also just gotten out of a short term relationship (first boyfriend) that left me completely heartbroken a few months before I met my husband. As a result I was very 'wishy-washy' towards my now husband. I didn't really see myself dating him but liked that he was very kind and attentive towards me, even though, I found him rather annoying at first. He didn't seem to care and kept pursuing me. We eventually became a couple without either one of us formally asking each other.
We each went to separate universities which were close in proximity. This is when I started to notice his lack of communication and intimacy towards me. He rarely texted, called or visited me. When I would bring this up he would state he was busy, fair enough, I understood that but told him if he was too busy to call or text he was too busy for a gf and broke up with him. Once I did he showed up at my apartment in less than 2 hours. I took him back and that was just the start of the charades or breadcrumbs I had unfortunately settled for. Long story short it never really improved not when we got our first apartment, our first home, or our second. It only got worse with each milestone. As we hit every goal/dream we wanted I felt less and less seen, heard or valued.
There were a few moments in our lives that made me slowly start to resent him. The first one was him not standing up for me when his mom disrespected me, him getting mad over me calling So Cal Gas because I smelled gas and they shut off our gas. The time we bought our first house and he started packing his stuff to go live there even though the house was no where near ready to move in even when I begged him to wait. Him going to my parents house to tell them when we were fighting/arguing or calling them on the phone to tell them to come so they could calm me down. Him locking me out of our house. Him taking a picture with his mom in front of our first house and him saying how he was so proud he did it with no help from anyone 🙄 him not tending to me after I almost died having our baby and then telling me I couldn’t even breastfeed our son. Him telling me I was having vertigo symptoms because I was obese. Him telling me we had bills to pay when I mentioned I was extremely tired during my first trimester (a little empathy would have been appreciated). Now I will say I didn’t know how to regulate my emotions back then compared to now so I would explode with anger and I wish I could take back a lot of things I said and did. But I have worked on myself and grown but have not seen my husband do the same. As a result we grew apart ( didn’t have a strong bond to begin with) and his lack on intimacy and attention made me hate him. I felt so alone and alienated in my own home. I finally decided to file for divorce and he has moved out. He says he wants marriage counseling but now I’m not sure I want to put in the effort because I suggested counseling back in 2021 and he said he didn’t need counseling but I did. I miss him but I think he just wants someone there. There’s a lot more but it’s too much to jot down. I seriously want to give us another shot but we were sexually intimate a few days ago and he slept over and he acts like nothing, but he doesn’t really express what on his mind. What do you think about marriage counseling ?

Hi,
My title sounds weird I know. My girlfriend is a very good lady. She seems to love me a lot. To be honest, I have mental problems and I suck. We've only been together for stints here or there. Now she has made all these moves to change her life so she can live with me in my town (in my house). It happened so fast. I do treat her really well and I do love her after my fashion. I don't know why she is trying so hard, maybe it's because she is pretty foreign and doesn't see all of my faults through as clear of a lens due to degrees of separation.
All that being said, I am successful and physically attractive (I only say that to show that I have some positive attributes), I am always good to her, I treat her to nice things, and take her nice places, I have good sex with her, but I'm divorced and can't trust, and also don't really want to change my life. I also wish we had more cultural similarities. She is very beautiful and appreciates me a lot, she cooks for me and helps me. I feel like I should just tell her it's over even though she will cry and I will regret it. I know I will also regret it if I let her come live with me and don't end it, but I will steal more of her time. Both things will be bad. I felt good about it until it got to this point where it's about to become real. I should end it right? I feel like we'd both be better off.
TLDR: What do you do if you will be sad whether you break up or not? I'm messed up bud.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months now. We were friends before and it was good - relaxed, fun, and felt we could share anything with each other.
I had just gotten out of a bad relationship when we started dating - it was unhealthy, and when I broke it off he took it badly and hurt me. Sometime after, my friend and I realized we had feelings for each other and decided to go for it.
He had a couple of hard and fast boundaries though, which I would learn over time. At first, I used to talk to my guy friends without letting him know each time I was, which upset him. If my guy friends flirted with me, I would brush it off instead of telling them to stop. And because we were long distance, he wanted to be updated on everything, all the time.
He wants to know when I was leaving the house, where I was going, what my plans were, who I was with, etc. before I even left. I kind of understand - I don’t live in a very safe place and at first it seemed like he was just concerned about my safety. But it grew to seem like he was suspicious I was hiding something.
Now he wants updates on everything I’m doing. When I have doctors appointments, when I talk to my apartment manager (a guy), basically when I do anything. He wants little updates, too, so he can be included in my life. My ex still controls my phone plan (long story) and though I don’t talk to him, I set up an automatic payment each month. My boyfriend became upset that I did this without telling him after we spoke about it and he said I should send it a few days before it’s due so I don’t have to worry about my ex contacting me when it is due.
Idk, it feels off to me but I also have PTSD from other stuff in my past and can’t tell if this is normal behavior. He said it’s been the same with his past relationships and that he never even had to ask them to do any of it, they just did. But he’s also been cheated on in all of his past relationships and a lot of his insecurity comes from that.
The updates started to stress me out. I’m not used to doing this sort of thing, or maybe I’m not used to someone caring so much (and maybe it’s a good thing he does). So when I do something and forget to update him, I start panicking. I don’t want to hurt or upset him and I don’t want it to lead to a fight. I know how important this is to him and I know he feels like I don’t care about it when I forget. I don’t know how I keep forgetting. When I forgot about the phone thing, he said “it’s okay, it’s only been six months” and I could tell what he meant by that.
But he has also adjusted his boundaries for me. He now doesn’t mind if I talk to my guy friends, as long as I let him know when I do (but I haven’t due to the anxiety with it). He knows the updates stress me out and tries to just let it go when I forget. He has given me so much leeway lately, which I’m grateful for, but also feel bad about.
I know he hasn’t been very open as much lately because of my reaction. I tend to get overly defensive and try to over explain myself, not coming up with excuses but trying to explain my reasoning instead of just admitting I was wrong and apologizing. I’m working on this as well as calming my emotions in the moment so I don’t overreact.
But do you guys think this is problematic behavior? I want a girl’s perspective. My mom and I are estranged and my boyfriend doesn’t like me talking about my relationship to my girl friends, who I’ve barely spoken to anyway and feel bad about just dumping this on them. I also may delete this later as it’s kind of breaking that rule too.
I’m going to go visit him tomorrow and want to talk about this stuff but want to make sure I’m not coming from a bad place when I do.
Thanks guys.
Edit: forgot to mention we got into a fight recently because the top button of my shirt kept popping open at work and was a bit revealing. I told him about it because he would want to know. He was upset I didn’t change my shirt (I realized it was a problem before I left for work but didn’t feel I had time to pick out a whole new outfit) and claimed I did it to get male attention, which is completely out of character. But he doesn’t want to talk about it because I was very hurt and didn’t handle it well.

I’m a rising senior so now that it’s summer I feel like it’s important to research the QB partners as the NCM is legally binding and I want to make sure I would be 100% committed to a school before I rank it. I don’t want to rank just one school though and would prefer to have a few more as it’s a full ride. So far I like Yale for the following reasons and if you feel like there are other similar schools that fit the criteria I’d really appreciate your recommendations (of course I’ll still be sure to do my own research; it’d just be helpful to have feedback from other people as well)

• good food (I always watch that one Asian tiktoker’s come eat breakfast at Yale)
• I’m cool w the campus (my environment would def play a factor in my mental health)
• nice proximity to places by train (beach, nyc)
• grade inflation (super big plus for me as I will prob major in biochem for pre med but I’m interested in cs too as maybe another major or minor and to fall back on should med not work out)
• diversity (I’m a minority living somewhere with 98% white population, would like to reconnect with my culture and just meet ppl with diff background)
• I’ve heard people at Yale are just like genuinely nice??? Idk you can confirm or deny but apparently a lot better than people at other ivy leagues
• decently sized city (I’m from a small town and a jump to somewhere like nyc would be pretty huge but I also wanna live in a city)
• well rounded weather I’d assume idk? (I like places that have weathers that match the season like snow in winter, very fall autumnal feels in fall)
• very good campus culture and like on campus activities (I’m an ambivert and sometimes just need to be somewhere where ppl WILL be there and that means more chances to make friends; I’ve heard this is bc the city is dangerous which sucks but like is a given since it’s a city)
• party scene isn’t too bad I heard
• housing isn’t a big deal unless it’s just like blatantly gross and dorms at Yale seem fine

That’s about it! I’ll add more that I can think of so if there are any similar QB partners id love to find out more. Also if you can’t vouch for these let me know too bc I’d like to hear about any cons as well

I (23M🇹🇭) haven't heart a thing from my partner (23M🇺🇸) in days. He's not online anywhere. I've tried asking my friends to call his number and so far noone picks up. He has cut contact with his family and live with strangers in a shared house so I couldn't contact him through his friend/family.
I've been thinking and thinking about what could have happened and all my brain tells me is the worst case scenario. I've looked through local news and recent mugshots..so at least he didn't get into a deadly accident or got arrested...but still did he break his phone? Did power go out? Or did he get hurt??
I know he wouldn't just ghost me. I don't know what to do?

Hey yall so for context I got married a couple years back and moved states to my husbands hometown. It was extremely difficult moving at such a young age and not knowing anyone here and i really struggled in many aspects of my life the first year or two. This isn’t capturing the severity of it but I was rlly depressed lol. Not to mention we briefly lived with his parents (abt 8months) before literally escaping (and yes I use the word escape) and moving out. I am no contact with my husbands immediate family except occasionally seeing them at holidays and bigger family events and life is better and less stressful that way for all of us. I can get into the reasons why but I promise you it’s completely valid and it’s either no contact or I called the police and cps so I’ll leave it at that. That being said, I am extremely close to my husbands extended family. Especially his three cousins. Their mom is like a second mother to me and we live down the street from each other because of how close we all are. Or so I thought. One of his cousins (all my age or younger) decided to completely cut me off. And It was immediately noticeable because we all usually hang out regularly. Every weekend if not multiple times a week. We grab food sometimes or go out to the mall or school events or we just hang out at their house talking till late at night and having so much fun. I genuinely love these girls and felt like I finally had close friends for the first time in my life. We talk about our innermost thoughts, vent to each other, and just behave as a usual girl group of friends do and I absolutely loved it. They’re pretty much the only friends I have here despite having moved over three years ago and I never felt like I needed to find others because my new relatives provided me with such a great friendship. One of the girls (I’d say I was actually closest to her) decided to cut me off. And I noticed right away because no texts came weeks after she decided to stay silent at my bday dinner. The entire. Evening. . When I’d drop by the house like I always do she’d never come out her room. I heard her mom at one point yelling at her to come greet me at least and she refused. I ignored it but it really started to hurt me. Especially when their parents started asking why I haven’t been around like we usually hang out. I asked the other siblings and they brushed it off saying how weird we were being and we should just talk if something is bothering us or whatever. But I noticed they stopped reaching out as well. A few days ago it was her graduation ceremony. And despite us making plans for over a year about the bouquet she wanted me to make, decorating her huge grad party, all these things, I was not invited or even made aware of the event until they posted it. That was the ultimate slap since her mom had asked me weeks before to make her a grad cake for the party (over 100people attending). After her ceremony she texted me asking to speak to me in a very hostile message, mentioning how it will be in private as “it’s no one’s business”. I agreed and went over after my shift and she called me to her room and sat down and proceeded to say the most hurtful things I’ve ever heard. She preyed on every insecurity she could think of and started to say how since the day I moved here she’s never felt comfortable around me and she shouldn’t have to put herself thru this tension and stress to be around me and how every conversation we‘be ever had has added no benefit to her life. She said she feels uneasy whenever I come over and that she just decided she doesn’t want to fake having to like me anymore and I can’t do anything to change that. And she said this all smirking and smiling as I had tears pouring down my face. It’s been three years of slumber parties shopping birthdays holidays family events weekends pool days everything u could think of we’ve experienced it together and those are some of my happiest times. All for her to say it was all fake? I kept asking her how she could say such hurtful things when I see her truly as a younger sister and one of my closest friends and after I’ve opened up to them so much over the years. I swear I even told them how grateful I am for their friendship and how I struggle to make friends because I feel like others judge me or make me feel bad for my personality. But I never in all these years felt that with them. Not to mention that I am literally married to their cousin. I’m the closest thing to a sister in law. How could she throw all that away? And she just shrugged and said none of that matters and I don’t get to decide who she speaks to. I asked if she really means she doesn’t want to speak to me anymore and she just chuckled and said ya. “It’s better I don’t see you or that you don’t come around here and make me uncomfortable.” A lot more was said but for the sake of reading I’ll leave it out. I left her room sobbing and she slammed her door shut behind me. Her sister was in the room next door and did not say anything. the rest of the family was asleep or in bed. I cried all night and literally feel Ike I’m going thru a breakup or something. My poor husband is so confused and mad but we have no idea what to do. It’s more deep rooted since I’ve literally bonded so much with this family I love them all truly and now Ifeel crazy like I imagined these three years of friendship. i keep thinking back and doubting every second I spent there. I have so many pictures in my apartment of all of us and thousands on my phone of us just hanging out and I keep looking at them and doubting if she hated me all those times we talked.
Her mother called me the next morning saying how her husband told her what he heard of the convo and how they were both so so sorry for what she said. She said her daughter has done this before with her own brother and didn’t speak to him for weeks but I told her this is different. She could very well go the rest of our lives not speaking and there goes my future of comfort in my only family here. She said she will talk to her and get her to apologize but I don’t want to even hear that. I can never bring myself to see these people again and I will not beg for a friendship with someone who doesn’t want me around. I have that much self respect at least. I’ve done so much for these girls I bake every bday cake I buy them great bday presents I celebrate every happy moment with them and support them when they feel low. I’ve given them the most kind and genuine friendship… the kind I hoped to receive in turn. I honestly cannot believe that chapter of my life is over and now I feel so alone. I spoke to one of the other cousins when she jokingly asked why I left crying (she lives with them too) and I broke down and told her everything said and how hurt I was. This girl just shrugs and says “ya that’s how she is we can’t change that” like are u kidding me??? I mean absolutely nothing to these people. They all went out and posted it and I’m here crying all day. How do I get over this pain and how do I handle the rest of my life with these people. I still care about their parents I’m just so hurt and offended and shocked at how shitty this one person made me feel. Sorry if this is all confusing I’ll probably delete this in an hour. I just have no one to talk to.

The leader of Mexico has dramatically ramped up apprehensions of U.S.-bound migrants, providing relief to President Joe Biden as he fights for re-election.
President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador has overseen an unprecedented level of migrant apprehensions in the 2024 calendar year which has, in turn, led to a decrease in migrant encounters for U.S. federal immigration authorities. The drop in migrant flow has helped ease a major headache for Biden as he’s faced poor polling on the migration issue, but questions remain whether the will to crack down on illegal immigration by Mexican leaders will remain after the U.S. election.
There were slightly less than 180,000 migrant encounters at the U.S.-Mexico border in the month of April, marking a light drop in encounters from the month before and the lowest rate of April encounters since 2021, according to the latest monthly data provided by Customs and Border Protection. May’s numbers are expected to be released in the coming days.
The decline in migrant numbers seen by American immigration authorities has mostly coincided with what’s been a substantial increase in immigration enforcement by their Mexican counterparts.
For the fourth month in a row, Mexico’s Migration Policy Unit encountered about 120,000 migrants, according to data compiled by the Washington Office on Latin America, a nonpartisan research and advocacy organization based in Washington, D.C. Roughly one year ago, Mexican officials had never reported apprehending or encountering over 52,201 migrants in a single month.
The roughly 481,000 migrants Mexico reportedly stopped or encountered between January and April represents a 231% increase over the same period last year.
The assistance from Lopez Obrador’s government comes at a time when Biden is facing a tough reelection, with polls indicating the southern border crisis is hurting his brand. Recent surveys show illegal immigration is now a top concern for Americans and most voters believe former President Donald Trump would better handle the issue than the current occupant of the White House.
The illegal immigration crisis has seemingly pushed Americans to the right on the issue, with polls showing many voters now favoring enforcement tactics championed by Trump, such as mass deportations, a border wall between the U.S. and Mexico, detention camps for illegal immigrants awaiting removal and the use of military troops to help with deportation efforts.
President Trump had threatened harsh tariffs against the Mexican government unless they acquiesced to his border security demands, forcing their leaders to take “strong measures” against the flow of Central American migrants passing through their country.
Trump had also established Migrant Protection Protocols — more popularly known as the Remain in Mexico policy — that kept many asylum seekers in Mexico as they awaited their immigration court proceedings, eliminating a major incentive for illegal immigration, but the Biden administration discontinued that initiative. Biden signed a slate of executive orders on his first day in office that largely dismantled Trump’s immigration agenda.
The Biden administration has since experienced record levels of illegal immigration, prompting many Democrats in Congress to formally condemn his handling of the issue.
The Mexican help in border enforcement is coming at an opportune moment for Biden as he faces a close election against a Republican challenger who is well known for being an immigration hardliner, and some experts are questioning the timing.
“The political motivations behind Mexico’s recent crackdown on migration seem undeniable given the timing,” Andres Martinez-Fernandez, a senior policy analyst on Latin America for the Heritage Foundation, told the Daily Caller News Foundation. Martinez-Fernandez also noted the uptick in Mexican enforcement is giving Biden the added benefit of avoiding a dramatic crackdown in enforcement himself, a move that would offend a left-wing base that is sympathetic to migrants.
“President Biden seems to be actively avoiding creating scenes of confrontations with migrants at the US border, given the likely backlash from his base. Instead, the Biden administration is effectively outsourcing migration enforcement to the Mexican government, and by doing so has given President Lopez Obrador incredible leverage over the U.S., Martinez-Fernandez said.
Lopez Obrador has made exorbitant demands in the past in exchange for stemming the flow of illegal immigration into the U.S.
During a “60 Minutes” interview earlier this year, the leftist Mexican president proposed his government could step up enforcement measures if the U.S. committed $20 billion annually to impoverished Latin American and Caribbean countries, lifted sanctions on the socialist Venezuelan government, ended the Cuban embargo and legalized millions of Mexican nationals living unlawfully in the U.S.
Trump, in reaction to those demands, said they came from a “lack of respect” for Biden and that his GOP administration wouldn’t give “10 cents” to Mexico.
Mexico is holding a presidential election of its own on Sunday. Term-limited Lopez Obrador will soon be stepping down, and the woman he’s endorsed to succeed him, Claudia Sheinbaum, is leading in the polls.
“When it comes to U.S.-Mexico relations, the Biden administration does not use the proverbial stick, so the question is what carrots the U.S. has handed over to the Lopez Obrador government to secure this newfound support in stemming migration,” Martinez-Fernandez said of the situation. “While the Biden administration has so far not handed over billions in cash to Latin America, the senior policy analyst noted that the White House has “pulled back” pressure on Mexico over narco-corruption, fentanyl trafficking and trade disputes.
As the U.S. experiences a drop in migrant encounters at the southern border, it remains to be seen whether this trend will continue after the presidential election. Martinez-Fernandez warned of a return to massive migrant numbers following the presidential election.
“Given the artificial nature of Mexico’s current migration crackdown, as well as the continued permissiveness of Biden’s border policies, the U.S. could very likely face another massive spike in migration after November or whenever the Mexican government changes its mind,” he said.

I have gotten to a point where living day to day is excruciating. I'm in a constant state of dread and anxiety that will not calm down no matter what I do. And that constant feeling of being on the edge has left me stagnant and hopless. I have been trying for months for get a steady job after my first job (a job I really enjoyed and had decent pay) went bankrupt. And then I got another job but the boss was so terrible that me and half the staff quit. And since then I have been applying everyday to all sorts of places but I would never hear back from them after applying. Or I will hear back, then I'll go to an interview, sometime 2 or 3, only for me to never hear back from them afterwards. Or I get rejected when they actually have the decency to send an email saying so. So I don't have a job and I'm not in school cause I took a gap year to work and save money, only for my plans to fall through. And now I'm on my second year away from school because I had to deffer my acceptance into university because I couldn't pay my tuition even with my scholarship.
On top of all of this, I have only one friends, I'm not in a relationship, and my family is very toxic and draining. Especially my eldest brother, who used to use me for free labour when i was young and would always act like he had authority over me because he was older. He would be completely dismissive of my feelings and would often rage at everyone in the house over the smallest things. Yet he would also always try to cling to me and try to "hang out" with me even though not even an 10 minutes ago he was screaming and my mom or my other siblings. He's always been the type of person to hold grudges against people who did him wrong but if anyone did the same to him, he would cry or scream or threaten to kill himself. And he is honestly a really big part of the trauma I think I have. Because just being around him makes me feel unbelievably anxious and unsafe. But I can't do anything about it cause I dont have the money to move out.
I just feel so alone and so trapped and I have no idea how to get myself out of it and I'm scared. I'm scared that at 16 I felt so terrible all the time. I would have panic attacks before going to school then I would cry myself to sleep when I got back home. I wrote a lot of suicide note then too. It was a way to get the feelings out. And one day I felt so terrible that I set a death date for myself. I promised myself that if things didn't get better by then, that would be my out. And the closer I get to that date the more it looks like the most viable option.
I'm just so sick of feeling helpless and terrible. It's so hard to breath most days. And all the stress has made it hard to sleep or eat in a healthy way. And it feels like all my emotions are messed up. I've lost interest in everything that isn't scrolling through tik toks for hours. And when I'm not depressed and anxious, I'm angry and annoyed. Which has led me to ignore or be snappy with my best friend and my family. And I hate that side of myself. I don't like taking out my frustrations on them cause they didn't do anything. And I don't even know why I'm so angry. I was never this angry l, I didn't use to be this person. But I also don't know who I was before the regret, the guilt and sadness. I feel like myself but also like I have no idea who the hell I am most days.
And no one understands this. I don't have anyone who is there for me or who I can confide in. My family won't get it. I use to be a high honor roll student, was in student government and played sports and everything. They have such high expectations of me and they won't understand my inability to be how I once was. They wouldn't get it if I told them about how I can barley function now or do anything other than rot in my bed. And don't ask me to "try to talk to them cause they are family". Because I have multiple times and everytime was they told me the same things; "you'll get through it." Or "Everyone goes through stress." Or "its not that big a deal."
I can't go through the same sweep it under the rug pep talks they always give. I think if I hear the words "you're going be okay" again I might explode. Nothing about how I feel is okay. Nothing about my life is fine and im tired. I'm just so fucking tired. I only have a couple more months of trying before the date I set is here. Hopefully I will feel relief then.

I inherited my parents house this guy over heard me talking about in a coffee shop with my friend . He said that if I sign title into his name he will give me $2000 a month and I would still be allowed to live there and I would still own it

To preface, I am a 26 year old female, alot of the events that I'm going to talk about occurred when I was a child, some will be more recent, but as I keep low to no contact with my parents now, there wouldn't be much to tell.
As far back as I can remember, my mom would say and do things that made me feel like I wasn't as important as my brother(s). Before my younger brother (22M) was born, if my older brother (29M) broke or damaged something, he'd blame it on me. She always believed him. Sometimes he'd pinch himself, run to our mom crying and say that I pinched him for no reason and I'd end up getting punished. If he wanted to use the PS1 (for those who remember that) and I was using it, I'd be forced to get off so he could have a turn, regardless of how little time I had been using it. The same applied to the family computer. Anything he wanted, he got.
After my little brother came into the picture I assumed my older brother would be forced to share the game systems, computer, toys etc. But I was mistaken. Instead, my mom began to spoil them both, giving them whatever they asked for. Citing their recent autism diagnosis as the reason for the special treatment. "You're the only normal one, you have to compromise on these things for your brothers because they're special." "You have to be mature and responsible because they can't." Were essentially the messages I was fed for years.
I was often the one left in charge if my parents went out, not my older brother. If I wasn't in charge, they would have our oldest brother, (32M) who was adopted by our maternal grandparents, my mom's parents, watch us. Unfortunately, he was also spoiled rotten, but by my grandparents in an attempt to make up for the fact that my mom didn't raise him. Which only fueled my older brother's need for the latest and greatest toys/games at the time. So they got into arguments all the time and I'd end up being the mediatoone in charge regardless. I always had to keep a close eye on my little brother regardless of who was left in charge also, he's not as self sufficient as my older brother and lacked the understanding that most kids his age had, so he needed constant supervision or else he'd end up getting hurt. Which happened a few times, but surprisingly only while my parents were the ones watching him.
When I was 10, my dad lost his job after a seizure (he's an epileptic) caused him to slam his face into a coffee table. He wasn't able to immediately return to work due to the damage, and was fired as a result. We were then evicted from our apartment and were forced to move in with my maternal grandmother. My grandfather had passed a few years prior so it was just her, my uncle and my oldest brother living in the house at the time. My grandmother didn't want us there, to put it simply. My uncle is the one who kept bothering her about how my mom was going to lose custody of us if we didn't have somewhere to go, and she eventually caved. But she wasn't discreet about how little she enjoyed having us there.
At 13, we were still living with my grandmother, my dad had gotten a new job and I finally got a cell phone. Not my own, but my Dad shared his with me after he'd get off work. So from the hours of 4pm to 10pm, I was a regular teen with a phone, which felt nice. One day, I had to text a friend about something related to school, so I asked my mom if I could borrow her phone to text this friend. As I was getting the info on the assignment that I needed, a text came across the screen. It was from my mom's ex Jay. Jay was the father of my two older brothers, (29M & 32M) he was also physically abusive towards my mom when they were together. I admit I shouldn't have gone through her messages, but as far as our entire family was aware, Jay wanted nothing to do with my mom or my brothers, so I was curious as to why/how my mom had his number saved, let alone why they were speaking. To my horror, my mom was flirting with and sending very explicitly worded messages about how much she wanted him and how terrible my dad was. I'll admit, neither of my parents were perfect, my mom had her favoritism of my brothers, while my dad was verbally and physically abusive towards me and my older brother, but never my little brother. My dad also cheated on my mom with a coworker shortly after I was born. Which my mom made common knowledge to us kids by the time I was 7. So our relationship as a family, was tumultuous to say the least. Nevertheless, I brought the texts to my dad, who then confronted my mom. I mean, I was a kid, I had no idea how to navigate that. So I brought it to an adult, as I thought I was supposed to. But boy, I had no idea that things would turn they way they did. My mom essentially told my dad, who barely understands technology, that the texts he thought she sent, her ex sent and that I was just trying to break them up because I hate her. He believed her. This affected me for years because she'd always use it as leverage to accuse me of lying. "Well you lied about those texts, so obviously you'd lie about this too!" I was branded a liar and to this day, despite her admitting that she was lying back then, everyone in my family just sees me as a melodramatic liar and I've come to accept that will probably never change.
At 14, one of my best friends died in a train accident. I wasn't allowed to go to his funeral because my parents had booked a vacation to see my dad's family. My parents knew that telling me no before we left would result in me sneaking out and going to the funeral anyway, so they lied to me, saying that they'd think about it and let me know in the morning before we'd leave, saying it with that tone they use when you know they're going to say yes just to make me think I'd be able to go to the funeral and avoid having to look for me. They've admitted to all of this which is even more chilling to me. The next morning, they'd already packed my luggage in the car by the time I had woken up. My dad sat down and told me in no uncertain terms that I was not going to the funeral and that I was going with them, regardless of what I thought or did. I kicked, screamed, cried, bit, everything I could possibly do to get my dad to put me down. But in the end he turned on the child safety locks and he threw me in the car with my younger brother, we left and spent 3 days with my dad's family. All the while I was made fun of and mocked for crying constantly on what was "supposed to be" a happy vacation according to my parents. My older brother didn't want to go, so he didn't have to. But apparently that only applied to him. To this day I still haven't forgiven them for that.
At 15, I was kicked out of my grandmothers house, and only my dad was against it. But in the end, I had to go live with my boyfriend because I had nowhere else to go and nothing my dad said changed the minds of my mom or grandmother. Until I turned 18, my mom would get me $100 in groceries a month, to keep me alive. (I think she was just afraid I'd report her for abandonment if she didn't atleast feed me) Even then, she would say that she couldn't afford the $100 sometimes and I'd have to get a month of food out of $50 or less.
At 18, I became pregnant. My dad was very unhappy. I had my first born and I thought we were on the road to mending our relationship.
At 21, my parents invited me and my child to their house for dinner, they also invited my boyfriend but he was unable to join us because he was tired from work, but these dinners had become a regular occurrence at this point. Unfortunately, my older brother (29M) still lives at home with them and my younger brother, so I was forced to interact with him. He ended up saying something like "Mom and Dad only put up with you because they want to see your kid." It struck a nerve with me, because it had already felt that way to me for awhile, and my parents were right there, but didn't deny what he said and I started to cry. I excused myself outside but I wasn't calming down.
For some context, back when I lived at my grandmother's house, I had regular breakdowns. My parents were constantly yelling at me or hitting me for one thing or another. I didn't have a room or a bed back then, I slept on the couch in the living room from the ages of 10-15. So when my dad would go off, he'd repeatedly slam me down into whatever surface was in the room if I tried to get up or leave the room we were in. So the couch if it was the living room, my parents bed if we were arguing in their room, etc. My mom never stopped this. Sometimes it would go on for hours, and it'd get to the point where I'd either freak out and get physical with my dad or I would start to rip out my hair and beg him to leave me alone. I was regularly laughed at by my mom or older brother and called dramatic for reacting that way during these screaming sessions.
But in that moment l, as I was crying outside, I felt like that kid again. I was small and meaningless. I wanted to go home. So I collected myself as best I could and walked inside, grabbing my son as I walked up to my parents at the dining table. I told my mom that I was sorry, but we're going home. She got as far as saying, "But we're about to have di- ." before my dad began to scream at me like I had never heard him scream before. My mom took my son into another room as soon as she saw that I was caught off guard by my dad's outburst, and locked him in my uncles bedroom. For over an hour my dad berrated me, as I could hear my son wailing for me from the other room. He kept pushing me and getting in my face, not letting me leave the dining room, he almost slapped me but for whatever reason, didn't. My mom and older brother, just like when I was a kid, stood there and laughed at my reactions. Eventually, he stopped because I said something that made him really mad, so he charged outside and left. My uncle came out of his room with my son soon after and he drove us home. I sent them a long message afterwards stating that I'm going no contact. That lasted about three years, and we've since reconnected in the past 2 years, my dad hasn't pulled anything like that, seemingly because he knows I'm serious when I say I will never speak to them again. My mom on the other hand is back on the "she's out to get me" "she hates me" train again. Anytime I ask her something, even simple yes or no questions, she sends me a novel detailing her yes or no answer. If she's saying no, she always phrases things like I'm this unhinged person who goes crazy over being told no and that she's just an innocent victim to my rage? Which is funny because regardless of what her answer is my response is always "Okay." Or "Okay, thank you." And any question is prefaced heavily with "You really don't have to if you don't want to." "It's totally fine if you cant." "It's fine if you say no, I can figure out something else if need be." I don't want to be a burden and I don't like exerting more energy than absolutely necessary, so I have no reason to try to argue with her. It's gotten to the point where we have so little contact, she has to blow up small misunderstandings that happen when we do converse. My uncle sent me a screenshot from my mom to him, which was her saying I needed to do something, I honestly don't remember what. But whatever it was, apparently my dad and my uncle were the ones who wanted me to know that, not her. Which honestly doesn't matter either way to me. But I guess she took whatever I said in response as an attack despite only saying okay or alright as a response, and I had to deal with her and my dad spamming my phone in the middle of the night trying to make this literal non issue, an issue. So I ended up replying that I have no idea why or how this had devolved into what it did, but I have nothing to do with this, and to stop messaging me about it. Surprisingly they did. Finally the most recent thing was that I had talked to my parents, in front of everyone at their house, including my boyfriend and our kids. I told them I wanted to start looking for a job and was wondering if they'd be willing to watch my now two kids for a couple of hours on some of the days that I work, just until we save enough for the down payment at a daycare for them. My main driver for this was that my mom and dad had been pushing for my kids to stay ovespend time with them so i figured if we could do that while I also work that'd really help. Nowhere in my mind do I think I am entitled to my parents help, I just thought that if they were pushing to spend time with them, that this was a perfect opportunity to do so. My parents agreed initially, but when I called them to make plans about it because I had an interview lined up, my mom said she never agreed to anything like that and that she "wasn't going to raise my kids for me." In the end, it wasn't worth an argument and I just said that she could have just said no the first time I brought it up, and I would have just started looking at alternatives for childcare. Pulling this hurtful stunt was unnecessary and cruel. And we haven't spoken much since.
Honestly I doubt they'll ever actually change, which is why I keep them at an arms length. Sorry for the rant, I just needed somewhere to put all of this.

You've finished all 5 LNs, and want more, well this thread has you covered. This will go over what you can read next.

Official Stuff

• Turn Around and Face Me

Well, you've read the LNs, why not read Turn Around and Face Me, the sequel series, set years after the original? May and Aleah Francois are now teenagers, going to an All-Girls Academy. This series is more lighthearted, and won't have any earth-shattering consequences to it. It's just two dumb teenagers in love with people who aren't interested in them. TAFM is still ongoing, and we should be getting chapter 3 fairly soon.

• I'm in Love With the Villainess manga.

Same story from the LNs, with a lot more detail. Aono Shimo's art takes what is already a great light novel series, and brings it to life in greater detail. There is a lot added on here, helping to make this a wonderful experience. It's currently in the Investigation arc, and runs monthly in Yuri Hime.

• Inori's Skeb Stories.

These are commissioned works she's done, and their canoncity is essentially TBD. Only a handful are translated here, I'm unsure as to where the rest are.

• Manwha....sorta?

Look, I'll be real here, there's no legal way to read it in english, nor any illegal ways. If you're Korean, or read Korean, it's here.

Fanfiction

It's the lifeblood of this community, and there are so many talented writers to share. This one will be broken down into a few different categories, to help direct people towards something they might love.

Alternate Universes.

• Before the Morning Rush, AKA Coffee Loop.

Rae Taylor is a coffee shop barista, who has a crush on a regular customer, named Claire Francois. It's your typical Coffee Shop AU, that was one of the first big fics in the community, and continues to influence AU works. The sequel "A Quiet Cup of Cheer" is very good, and I highly recommend.

• Even in the Next One

"Claire Francois awakens to find herself in Japan, where Rae once lived out her past life. It’s not hard to find her wife once more, and given a second life surely it will be easy to live that one out with Rae once again and help Rae as she had helped her in Bauer. It’s hardly as if Rae will need convincing, right?
Rei Oohashi has had a crush on the icy Francois-san ever since university classes started, she is just so pretty. One would not have expected those feelings to be returned nor to have Francois-san claim they were wives in a previous life. And does Francois-san have no memories from this life either… oh no."
Essentially it's a reverse isekai, with Claire being a fish out of water. And it's full of Persona and Dungeon Meshi references. This has a NSFW companion piece from the lovely brooklynapple, which I will not link here.

• I Fragged the Villainess "American high school student Claire Francois has always risen to the occasion in her every endeavor. Now, however, she's facing perhaps her greatest challenge yet -- a first-person shooter game??? Determined to succeed, she logs in every night only to be thwarted again and again by another player with a rather peculiar gamertag. How will she react when she learns that her mysterious rival is actually another student from her school?"

The same writer also did an ESO Crossover, which I recommend reading!

• "The Queen's New Life"

"Rei "Quinn" Oohashi has a decently normal life. A job she excels at, a bothersome sister, a hobby she is undefeatable at. Things start to change when a blonde-haired fashion designer enters her life."
The story isn't very far along, but the writer is definitely having fun with this one.

• Villainess Calling

"Two trans women with very different backgrounds, and personalities. Claire Francois, is the epitome of elegance and grace, her father a wealthy politician. Beneath the facade of elegance however, lies a painful past, that she fears coming to haunt her. The Violin becoming her means of escaping her world, if only for a moment.
Rae Taylor, is a Punk Rock Bassist, who found solace in the raw energy of punk, channeling her anger and frustration into the pounding rhythms of her bass guitar. Running from her past, she attempts to make a fresh start somewhere much different. Despite the lonely pain she feels, she pushes past it, in an attempt to pretend she's someone she's not: Someone confident, and able to hide the pain from everyone around her.
A chance meeting intertwines their paths, forcing them to confront their painful pasts, and embrace their true selves. Through their shared love of music, a bond is formed, that may just help them both find happiness."
Fully admit, this is a shameless self-promotion. The first few chapters are rough, but if you enjoy punk music, or just want to see what it would be like if Rae and Claire, were trans? You'll enjoy this! This also has a NSFW companion piece which I will not link.

• Steam Punk Loop "We enter an era where technology is advancing. Not many of the common folks are capable of magic. Machines are developed to make their lives easier. The discovery of Steam Power has greatly advanced the lives of the Lower Class, at the displeasure of the Aristocrats. Magic, however, is still regarded as a higher power which most Aristocrats still wield and follow traditions. As technology grows, magic starts to fade as a higher power for the Lower Classes and questions arise, why are they bowing to Aristocrats' Magic when Steam is far greater now? Tensions grow, unrest spreads, how will the growing chaos be stopped?

Rae Taylor is the daughter of the General Store owners who sell all kinds of items and are part of the middle class.
Claire Francois is the daughter of one of the most powerful and influential Aristocrats who has control on most of the trades in the metropolis.
How can two hearts from two worlds meet at a time of uncertainty?"
Easily one of the most creative AU series, it's a fun one!

• From Enemies to Lovers.

"Rae Taylor works for the Lilium Mafia House-one of their best agents, never failed a mission. She is send to the Francois House to act as a spy and eventually eliminate their sole daughter-Claire Francois. However, little did she expect that this mission would not be as easy as she deemed."
Mafia Gays? Say no more, I'm in.

• Half-Outlaw, Half-Villainess

"Four years after the Black Mesa Incident, a gang of Outlaws including former Bureaucrat Orla Maguire and her Physicist Step-Brother, Gustavo Freeman are decimated following a disastrous heist in Panama, scattering them to the wind, and sending Orla adrift to another world, with a blonde noble girl glaring down at her.
Claire Francois must now teach this upstart commoner, who appears to go by Rae Taylor, the proper ways to act in the Kingdom of Bauer, while attempting to truly decipher who she is, why she does what she does, and why she keeps talking about 'Home' as if it were some far away place. Rae, formerly Orla Maguire, must hold out and come up with a plan in the scheming shadows of Bauer if she wants any chance of seeing her old world and family again, all while continuing to work for Claire, and realizing they have a much deeper connection than she initially thought.
Meanwhile in Panama, Dr. Gustavo Freeman is surprised by the arrival of another Noblewoman, facing evidence of string theory, and the ever encroaching threat of the so-called 'Combine' Empire that is now aware of Earth's existence. Time will tell, the currents are swirling... can Outlaws and Nobles truly find redemption?"
Half-Life meets ILTV, in an unexpected crossover!

Canon Divergent

These fics cover stories set within the main universe, but diverge from canon in some way.

• In Search of Spring.

"Claire François is madly in love—and that's a problem.
All the things she once valued now stand in her way. The nobility could never accept her loving a commoner. The church could never accept her loving a woman. Her father would be so disappointed in her. None of that matters to her anymore, not as much as creating a future for herself and Rae Taylor. To do that, they'll first have to survive the coming revolution, and to survive, they'll have to change.
But, maybe, even with the entire world is standing against her and her love, if they can change themselves they'll have a chance to change the world. So that's what they'll have to do—whatever it takes."
It's the top rated Wataoshi fic, and for a reason. It's extremely well written, and there is so much care put into this series.

• A Cleaved Soul

"In which Rae's Soul isn't simply a copy of the Demon Queen's Soul Data, but merely one half of the whole."
This has spoilers for LN5, so I recommend avoiding it, if you're reading this and have yet to complete LN5. In addition, the other has written "Memories of Another World" and "I'm in Love With my Best Friend"

• ILTV- Withering Begonia: Maybe in another life

"An exploration of Rei Oohashi's lives with Claire Francois. Major LN5 spoilers.
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.” -Anias Nin"

• Head Over Heels

"Claire is accidentally hit with a love spell during magic class and suddenly can't keep her hands off of Rae. Rae doesn't know what to do now that Claire is giving her a taste of her own medicine. How will our heroine overcome this daunting challenge?"
Brooklynapple has also written "a day worth celebrating" a cute Claire birthday piece, and "what we deserve"

• Please Don't Leave Me

"Rae's Duel with Manaria goes wrong
She wakes up back in her old life in Japan
Claire is left alone"
From the author of Eitno, we have a tearjerker, that is excellent.

• Perfectly Flawed

"A collection of short stories concerning Manaria Sousse from "I'm in Love With the Villainess." I recommend reading this after at least reading Volume 2, or after reading the whole story."

• Right Person, Different Status

"Rei wakes up in Revolution like in the original but.... She's royalty?"

• Manaria Murder Mystery

"After becoming Queen, Manaria tasks have piled up. However, something sinister has happened. Someone from her family has been murdered! She has to recruit her friends to help her solve the mystery."

• Black Lilies

" As the dust settles, and the world begins to heal, the once mighty Demon Queen, Rei Oohashi has been defeated. But her story does not end with her defeat, it is only just beginning. Rei has been offered a second chance, a chance to repent for her actions as the Demon Queen. Despite her inability to forgive herself, despite her lingering scars, one person sees through them all: Lilly Lilium.
A girl who despite her own scars, from her time as her father's assassin, wishes for nothing more than to help Rei to heal, even if she's incapable of doing so herself. Together they begin a journey spanning the Kingdom of Bauer, and beyond, whilst battling their own inner turmoil."
Again, shameless self-promotion.

• Lilly Lilium Is Not A Princess!

"After deciding to take another pilgrimage, Lilly finds herself in Melica, where a certain chestnut-haired woman waits."
A fic dedicated to an underrated pairing. It's cute, check it out
I realize I am missing quite a few fics, but it's almost 2AM and I'm tired. Is there a fic you enjoy that should be on the list? Comment and I'll add it! Writing your own and need tips? Comment!

For context.
I saw this rave event popping out of nowhere on a facebook group, and decided to check it out. It was a "post apocalyptic" themed rave. I thought it looked cool, there were videos of their previous events, the organisator of the event building stuff for the rave, like a giant snake head shooting laser beams and such. The event looked pretty convincing overall.
But I was wrong.
It was all a scam. First, we arrived there, the music was horrible. They promised techno, psytrance, downtempo, deep house. None of that was present, the only thing we had was house and dubstep.
The decors were horrible, it was all made out of unpainted cardboard and it looked like a school art project.
Before we go in, they were checking our bags. Which really ringed a bell, because I've went to a lot of rave, and not a single one was checking my bag. I've never seen that.
The lasers were not programmed to follow the beat of the songs, it was basically a 50 bucks laser machine off aliexpress, which stopped working after 3 - 4 hours, so there were no lasers anymore.
There were like 5 - 6 guys at the dj table, they were filming the crowds and each others instead of "mixing".
Heck, they were not even mixing anything, they just shoved a usb card inside a laptop and ran an AI generated song on loop.
The party was getting really really really boring, even substances couldn't help me to enjoy my time. At one point I asked the guy who made the event on facebook where was the techno, later on he blocked me.
Anyways, this whole thing was sketchy. I should've known it was a scam. Live and learn I guess.

TW// purging talk
i recently moved back in with old roommates, my bf and i lived here a couple years ago but we had to move back in recently for a transition period after college. im in recovery for bulimia/restrictive eating and gained abt !10! kg in the ~1.5 yrs we've been away, and im happy about where i'm at with my body and with food.
one of my roommates has been very open about her ED since i've known her, its fluctuated throughout the years, but she is now very tiny since i last saw her. last time i was here, it was anorexia. i was suspecting she is now purging, i noticed she rushes to the restroom right after meals and has marks all over her knuckles and has puffy cheeks. but this morning. i woke up to coughing and groans coming from the downstairs restroom. loud coughs, hacking, gagging, for over two hours. and very dramatic, long, loud groans in between retches. it stopped right when her boyfriend woke up and went to go in and see her, which is why i suspect it was drawn out so long. she is known to beg him over the phone to call out of work so he can go home and take care of her, even when there are other ppl in the house who can do the same thing. i talked to my bf about it, and he says he's heard it nearly every morning since we've been here. i guess i've just slept through it and he hasnt mentioned anything bc he's worried about it being a potential trigger.
i understand eating disorders are competitive by nature but, it's very hard not to see her as a mean person separate from that. everyone in the house has tried to give her a chance, but she's burned every bridge every time. she calls people she doesnt like "fat" as an insult, comments on how everyone else fills their clothes compared to her, compares wrist/thigh sizes, and will just make fun of people who are in vulnerable positions. i have confirmed that another roommate has developed bulimia after seeing how thin she's gotten, and she only encouraged it by coaching them on what bodychecking is and furthering their self image issues.
it was so fucking upsetting to listen to this morning. i cant help but feel sad and also really angry about it. my purging sessions used to last 15-30 mins, and i would run the shower, play music, use toilet paper, and try to mask the noise to accommodate not only her, but any potential person in the house that might be triggered. nobody to my knowledge ever knew i had an ED. i never discussed it with anyone. even when she used to talk about her eating disorder when we last lived here, i never chimed in and chose to stay private about it. for reference, she is 21 and i am 23, and i was her age when i was in the depth of my ED. there is no reason you need to be yakking with the bathroom door open, for 2 hours, letting the whole house hear it, just waiting for your bf to come in?
knowing that she does this nearly every morning is super upsetting to me, and i dont know how long i could do it. its already very triggering seeing how tiny she and other roommate has gotten. it doesnt seem to bother anyone else in the house, im guessing theyre all just used to it atp. i'm looking for employment so desperately, but having to worry about waking up to my roommate's 2-hour purging session just to get her boyfriend's attention is really bothering me. im worried that confronting her will just stroke her ego and there will be nothing productive that'll come from it. is it worth it to bring it up to her? idk if im justified in being upset by the situation, or if im being an inconsiderate asshole abt it.

Context: My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years. We have two young children and I am 37 weeks pregnant. I full time 40 hours a week and come home very late at night as it is a Twilight midnight shift. My husband has his own business that's up and down. 70 percent of our house is under construction for remodeling which my husband does mostly himself and I help where I physically can. It takes a lot of money and work. The kitchen isn't ready still which will be really important to have when the baby comes to safely make found and clean bottles etc.
We moved here in a rush because my husband's PTSD is triggered by the town we lived by. Into that my husband has PSTD because of a whole complicated situation that happened two years ago where I lied a I had been raped and blackmailed by an ex but was trying to handle it by myself and no I didn't trust my husband at the time and we had a terrible relationship so I was admittedly absolutely stupid and tried to handle the situation myself and then just came clean and it all exploded. My husband is an EXTREMELY trusting person so that's basically ruined our relationship and no matter what I do it's not improving trust by a ton so I basically live by clearing activities with him and constantly updating him on everything I'm doing and have a constant location on me... No the point but His trust in people is 100% related. He's been burned by other people before and he keeps trust in others ESPECIALLY his guy friends.
My mental health isn't great as I have anxiety depression and trauma disorder. I have huge trust issues with men and my house I'm in is the closest thing I have to are sanctuary where I can be myself.
Other related context: I've had a lot of death in my life in the past few years. Namingly about 2 years ago my brother committed suicide sadly and just last year a friend from work also committed suicide. Others in my family have passed away from health related reasons.
So story time. Today I'm having a major mental health struggle, feeling trapped (partially from my husband telling me to come home instead of going out with some friends from work which happens about every week ... I don't really see many people unless he gets to supervise.), and I just was struggling. Hormones probably. I tried to text him about it but I brushed it off saying maybe it'll pass and then he lets me know one of his friends tried to commit suicide last week and he's okay physically. I sympathized and he didn't say much after but talked about other stuff. Anyways he gets home from his guys get together and announced his friend has to stay with someone and move out of his sister's house. He says a friend with a stable home and no kids said he would but wants to discuss it with his wife first. I say oh that's great! Then he says that he volunteered our house if his friends can help him build a wall to make a bedroom for his friend. And tells me they said they would. I was kinda shocked that he just made this decision without me and wasn't asking me but seemed to be telling me. It'll cost $600 or more and we would have to buy a bed for him then I'll have to move all that stuff somewhere else but everything is already crowded in there from the kitchen. I don't know what I'll do with those things. He just says yeah and walks out of the room. I don't know when this is, how long, anything about his schedule, if he's eating our food, or what any of this entails. It's just adding to our list and I wasn't even thought of or consulted. We still need to finish cleaning and moving things around the house so it's ready when the baby comes. A chunk is his stuff and I'm not sure what to do with it and we need to purchase a few things for the baby still...he's been telling me we have no money.
I think about these concerns and questions for a bit (20 minutes) and come out and I ask: when you were talking about ___ staying with us, were you informing me or consulting me? He sarcastically says informing, laughs, then goes on to say it we didnt because of me I'm a horrible person or an evil person (yes those words). I asked if he thought his other friend who is consulting his wife is evil because she might decline and he said "she might be!" I was shocked. I kept trying to explain that as a partnership and with my background and current state (preggers) I think it's definitely appropriate to consult me and for us to talk about any concerns or obstacles. He starts calling me manipulative and a terrible person and say I help no one (I did help a friend who was homeless a couple years ago when we had a different house where she could stay and I help his sisters and mom once a month at least but oh well). He also doesn't count my job in that. Then he starts calling me a liar randomly and calls me horrible again. I said I am feeling really cornered in this that if I feel uncomfortable I am apparently evil but if I say yeah I'm good with it I'm a liar. I was crying pretty bad (hormones mixed with the situation) and he kept telling me to leave and go to work but I was trying to work it out. It wasn't a straight no from me, I just didn't see it working out and I wanted to work through the concerns and obstacles together to see if it really made sense. Its a big deal right now with everything going on. In my mind that means a discussion.
I don't know though. I ended up sleeping on his sister's couch after work tonight. I'll get up early and get back home before the kids wake up so they don't think I left for good or anything. He goes polar opposite on how he treats me and what he says about me.
So reddit? Let's have it ... Am I the a-hole?