Anniversary messages boyfriend
5 Year Anniversary: what should I get for my boyfriend?
2010.04.12 08:03 Michaela31 5 Year Anniversary: what should I get for my boyfriend?
2016.02.04 16:47 VowelMovement Dead by Daylight
Dead by Daylight is an asymmetrical multiplayer horror game in which four resourceful survivors face off against one ruthless killer. Developed and published by Behaviour Interactive. This subreddit is not owned, operated, or moderated by Behaviour Interactive.
2016.08.24 16:01 Angelinazeena CardlinAudio
Welcome to CardlinAudio, the place to connect with other Cardigans here on Reddit!
2024.05.18 21:21 jnlrzge Is it really hard to forget someone? and move forward ?
Hello i’m 16 years old please don’t judge me for this i’m still learning to learn from my mistakes, so I have an ex-boyfriend, I met him sa probinsya year 2023 pinakilala ko siya sa mom ko through chat and disagree siya about do’n kasi daw i’m too young 15 years old ako non that time iniyakan ko mom kasi pinaghihiwalay niya kami kaya kung ano-anong nasabi ko sa mom ko na hindi maganda “i rather kill myself kesa paghiwalayin mo kami” kaya pumayag siya kahit labag sa loob niya kasi nasa Manila siya while ako na sa probinsya doon ko lang tinuloy pag-aaral ko kasi gusto ko. Fast forward, binisita ako ng parents ko sa province and kinausap ako nila papa na hiwalayan ko daw my mom told me na if mahal ako hihintayin daw ako hanggang sa pwede na kung kami daw para sa isa’t isa kami daw talaga, pero hindi ko ginawa na makipaghiwalay since i really really love that guy i saw my moms face sobrang nalulungkot siya hanggang sa dumating ‘yung time na namatay mom ko sa province unexpected talaga, after mamatay ng mom ko ang dami kong narealized. I broke with him for some reason, one time may nag sabi sa’kin na nakita daw ng friend ko na may binubuhat daw siya na babae classmate niya, which is ikinabigat ng dibdib ko. Hindi ko inopen sa kanya ‘yung nakita ng friend ko kasi iniisip ko baka ang oa ko lang and one time din may nag sumbong saakin classmate ko may inangkas daw siyang babae sa sasakyan niya nag ooverthink ako kasi ayon din ‘yung babaeng binuhat niya, my knees were shaking that time tapos one time din he use my phone nilalaro niya kasi phone ko kaya i use his phone din tapos may nakita akong nag pop up kaya i open his messenger tapos may nakita akong message niya na may mga imissyou with kiss emoji nag pipick up line pa ibang babae na naman sinabi niya dati na friend niya daw ‘yon. Few days ago i opened his account kasi nag exchange kami nakita ko chat nila sa friend niya they’re talking about their one classmate which is ‘yung babae na kasama niya sa sasakyan ang sabi niya sa friend niya na lalaki na he likes that girl since first day of school pa daw after ko mabasa ‘yon umiiyak ako and kinausap ko siya through chat i directed him agad i asked him kung may gusto ba siya sa classmate niya ang sabi niya wala daw pinakita ko naman chat nila ng friend niya sabi niya dati pa daw ‘yun na gusto niya ‘yung babae pero nakalagay sa petsa bago pa lang he lied to me i broke up with him kasi hindi ko na kasi mahandle mabigat sa pakiramdam. Tapos mga ilang days come back na naman tapos break up na naman paulit-ulit ‘yung circumstances hanggang sa naisipan kong bumalik here sa Manila to start over again kasi na pagtutulungan na din ako sa bahay nila lola they make up false stories about me sa mga teachers ko,classmates and kapitbahay hanggang sa nasira ako hindi na din ako kumakain or sumasabay sa kanila sa bahay kasi alam ko pinag-uusapan nila ako at kung ano ano mga sasabihin, pumupunta na lang ako sa puntod ni mama laging kinakausap at umiiyak after ko makabalik sa Manila nag comeback na naman kami ldr tapos break maraming beses na realize ko na babalik at babalik sa’yo ‘yung mga trauma or mistakes mo until you learned from it. I still thinking about those people na minahal ko sa province at kung ang pinagdaanan ko doon nag sisisi ako na hindi ko sinunod parents ko i regretted it so much lahat lahat and now i’m trying na itama ‘yung mga mistakes ko at matuto sa mga maling ginawa o nagawa ko nahihirapan ako and I can’t forget about him no matter how hard I try i feel like i’m stuck it’s been a year and a half months na wala pa din nag babago sa feelings ko kahit piranggot maraming nag sasabi saakin before nung na sa probinsya pa ako dati even friends ko hiwalayan ko daw or bakit ko daw siya nagustuhan eh ang immature niya daw tapos makulit nilalabas ko na lang sa tenga ko mga sinasabi nila hindi ko din alam sa sarili ko kung bakit siya i just love the way who he is, even his flaws, i like it i love it lahat lahat kung anong meron siya , iba siya for me masipag,matalino,funny,friendly,mabait I like the way na tulungan niya ‘yung mga tao lalo na sa lola at lolo niya. Last month he message me gusto niyang makipagbalikan mag simula ulit but i didn’t agree kasi alam ko magiging katulad lang din sa dati, I don’t want to get hurt na po ulit ayaw ko na din na masaktan kami kaya i refused po gustuhin ko man pero i’m all done all i want is peace for now I love him so so much hindi ko mapigilan o makamove-on sa kanya pero i’m trying i always cry every single day and night kasi i miss my momma and him ganito na lang ba lagi circumstances sa buhay ko? When will i get over him? I want to move forward and live my teenage life po. If y’all don’t mind to give me an advice i will appreciate po, thank you so much.
submitted by jnlrzge to Advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.18 21:21 alinaaen Looking for boardgamers, Romance book readers and nice people who enjoy a walk and a hot chocolate
Hello everyone. I moved to Lelystad over 4 years ago to be with my Dutch boyfriend and it's been quite challenging to make new friends here with the pandemic and everything going on. So now I'm looking for likeminded people to adopt my shy and introverted person.
I (26 she/her) enjoy an evening of casual boardgames as Catan or Cluedo, I love Romance books, and going on stupid walks for my stupid mental health. My boyfriend (29 he/him) is a gamer and much nerdier than I am, but I am open to learning and discovering new hobbies and activities.
We're very relaxed, a bit awkward but with the best heart. So if that's your cuppa, please send a message. I'd love to make some new local friends! 🩷
submitted by alinaaen to Lelystad [link] [comments]
I (26 she/her) enjoy an evening of casual boardgames as Catan or Cluedo, I love Romance books, and going on stupid walks for my stupid mental health. My boyfriend (29 he/him) is a gamer and much nerdier than I am, but I am open to learning and discovering new hobbies and activities.
We're very relaxed, a bit awkward but with the best heart. So if that's your cuppa, please send a message. I'd love to make some new local friends! 🩷
2024.05.18 21:11 ThrowRA_4957 I (30F) found out my boyfriend (29M) is hiding something big from me.. what do I do?
Hi, first reddit post - please bear with me!
I (30F) have been dating my boyfriend (29M) for just under 2 years, we've been living together for over a year. I love him with all my heart and while our relationship is not perfect (like most others) it is very loving and we communicate very well together. We are currently renting an apartment and we talk often about our future plans together and our dreams to be able to afford a home someday.
We've also been talking regularly about the idea of downsizing and living full time in a camper for a few years to maybe save some money while also experiencing the adventure. We both talk positively about this alot and it's always been clear it's something we'd both be interested in seriously considering. We also both have done alot of research together and separately about the logistics, costs, etc. And we've even gone to look at campers locally, half for fun and half to learn more information. We even found one specific one that we both agreed would be "the one" if we decided to ever pull the trigger on it. I work fully remote, but my boyfriend currently doesn't so his job has been the factor that has currently prevented us from making any tangible moves down this path.
Which brings me to a couple days ago - I was looking for something I misplaced in his truck and happened to find purchasing paperwork for a camper from the place we visited prior. May be worth mentioning that it is not the one we "picked" during our visit, but it is similar. To be clear - I understand he is only my boyfriend not my husband and his finances are his finances, that is not what is concerning me. What is concerning me is that he would make such a serious purchase completely behind my back, and then continue to keep it a secret from me while acting like everything is normal.
It initially felt like a major betrayal, but I don't know whether I should be as concerned as I am. I have considered that this might be a surprise or gift from him, but we don't have any birthdays/anniversaries coming up and our lease isn't over for 3 months. Plus it just seems odd to me that he would get something this permanent as a gift. But I have been through some trauma with abandonment, so I'm fully aware that it can sometimes affect my judgement and cause me to jump to negative conclusions (like that he is doing this in secret because he is planning to leave and pursue our dream without me).
I don't want to compound the lie by pretending I don't know, especially when our relationship has always thrived on being open and honest with one another. Should I be freaking out this much? Would it be best to confront him with what I saw?
TL:DR - my boyfriend of 2 years bought a camper without telling me and continues to hide it even though we've talked alot about pursuing that dream together. I don't know whether to feel betrayed by this or how to approach it with him.
submitted by ThrowRA_4957 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I (30F) have been dating my boyfriend (29M) for just under 2 years, we've been living together for over a year. I love him with all my heart and while our relationship is not perfect (like most others) it is very loving and we communicate very well together. We are currently renting an apartment and we talk often about our future plans together and our dreams to be able to afford a home someday.
We've also been talking regularly about the idea of downsizing and living full time in a camper for a few years to maybe save some money while also experiencing the adventure. We both talk positively about this alot and it's always been clear it's something we'd both be interested in seriously considering. We also both have done alot of research together and separately about the logistics, costs, etc. And we've even gone to look at campers locally, half for fun and half to learn more information. We even found one specific one that we both agreed would be "the one" if we decided to ever pull the trigger on it. I work fully remote, but my boyfriend currently doesn't so his job has been the factor that has currently prevented us from making any tangible moves down this path.
Which brings me to a couple days ago - I was looking for something I misplaced in his truck and happened to find purchasing paperwork for a camper from the place we visited prior. May be worth mentioning that it is not the one we "picked" during our visit, but it is similar. To be clear - I understand he is only my boyfriend not my husband and his finances are his finances, that is not what is concerning me. What is concerning me is that he would make such a serious purchase completely behind my back, and then continue to keep it a secret from me while acting like everything is normal.
It initially felt like a major betrayal, but I don't know whether I should be as concerned as I am. I have considered that this might be a surprise or gift from him, but we don't have any birthdays/anniversaries coming up and our lease isn't over for 3 months. Plus it just seems odd to me that he would get something this permanent as a gift. But I have been through some trauma with abandonment, so I'm fully aware that it can sometimes affect my judgement and cause me to jump to negative conclusions (like that he is doing this in secret because he is planning to leave and pursue our dream without me).
I don't want to compound the lie by pretending I don't know, especially when our relationship has always thrived on being open and honest with one another. Should I be freaking out this much? Would it be best to confront him with what I saw?
TL:DR - my boyfriend of 2 years bought a camper without telling me and continues to hide it even though we've talked alot about pursuing that dream together. I don't know whether to feel betrayed by this or how to approach it with him.
2024.05.18 21:03 Annabethchase1989 ABUSE TW Just found out my mom was (mentally) abused by her ex (and my ex-stepfather)
I’m mostly just in shock and I don’t know what to do, and it isn’t my place to do anything either. My mom randomly told me today that her ex-boyfriend was an abusive fucker.
Little bit of backstory; my parents got divorced when I was 7. My mom got together with this excuse of a man when I was 8-9 years old, and stayed with him until I was 11-12. (I don’t remember the exact ages or details, my mind blocked it all out). I knew this man was a bit of an asshole, but not that he was actually abusive and used to scream at her and curse her out with his face like 10cm’s close to hers, and that he once locked her on our balcony and then just left. She told me she was terrified of how he would respond when she even did as much as drop a spoon. After they broke up (she said that the reason she broke up with him in the end was because he had threatened to hit me, and I think that that is an incredibly noble thing to do of her, I’m in shock she had to go through all of this, and that I never noticed) my mom was incredibly insecure, screamed when I cried because my dad left for the week (I live a week with my mom, and then with my dad, and then my mom again. Switch homes each week), and was kind of unable to take care of me sometimes. By then I had hit puberty and started shittalking her to my friends (messaging). Later, she read these messages and cried to me that I hated her. It took us 3 years, but we’re alright now. I just feel so guilty. All this time I was shittalking her and making myself the victim, and she was dealing with trauma from (mental) abuse. She has a good, loving boyfriend now and says she is okay. I guess I’m just really in shock, and I might just beat that abuser up if I see him ever again. I know there isn’t really anything I can or should do, but I just wanted to say this somewhere. She’s so strong for going through all of this, for breaking up with him and healing herself like this, and I’m shocked that now she can take care of me this well.
submitted by Annabethchase1989 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
Little bit of backstory; my parents got divorced when I was 7. My mom got together with this excuse of a man when I was 8-9 years old, and stayed with him until I was 11-12. (I don’t remember the exact ages or details, my mind blocked it all out). I knew this man was a bit of an asshole, but not that he was actually abusive and used to scream at her and curse her out with his face like 10cm’s close to hers, and that he once locked her on our balcony and then just left. She told me she was terrified of how he would respond when she even did as much as drop a spoon. After they broke up (she said that the reason she broke up with him in the end was because he had threatened to hit me, and I think that that is an incredibly noble thing to do of her, I’m in shock she had to go through all of this, and that I never noticed) my mom was incredibly insecure, screamed when I cried because my dad left for the week (I live a week with my mom, and then with my dad, and then my mom again. Switch homes each week), and was kind of unable to take care of me sometimes. By then I had hit puberty and started shittalking her to my friends (messaging). Later, she read these messages and cried to me that I hated her. It took us 3 years, but we’re alright now. I just feel so guilty. All this time I was shittalking her and making myself the victim, and she was dealing with trauma from (mental) abuse. She has a good, loving boyfriend now and says she is okay. I guess I’m just really in shock, and I might just beat that abuser up if I see him ever again. I know there isn’t really anything I can or should do, but I just wanted to say this somewhere. She’s so strong for going through all of this, for breaking up with him and healing herself like this, and I’m shocked that now she can take care of me this well.
2024.05.18 20:59 HermioneandKatniss Little moments that ruined Marinette's character for me
 | Marinette has made a lot of huge mistakes that have been thoroughly analyzed in the fandom, but here are some smaller moments that really made me judge her character and integrity as the face of heroism in Paris (as Ladybug). submitted by HermioneandKatniss to miraculousladybug [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/2enjmmj6z71d1.png?width=1580&format=png&auto=webp&s=cbbf7c212855cbab27a1ed215558803bccf7398b
But the issue is that she left angry, while Chat Noir started to look pretty upset instead of maybe taking a minute to recharge with him, calm down, and communicate so both leave feeling better. Now here she is as Marinette, having found him CATACLYSMING BILLBOARDS! Could she not have at least realized he was still super upset (as reiterated even further by his first few replies to her after she calls him over)? She would have noticed the billboard since it was the one she was literally calling the company to remove! Next, after calling him over and seeing he is upset, could she not have maybe asked him what was wrong instead of ignoring his problems in favor of her own goals? Why did her classmate (who had already gone home and would not feel better by her confession anyway) matter more than the partner that is right in front of her, known for making impulsive decisions like giving up his miraculous when he is mad at ladybug, and is super upset by something that happened between them like an hour ago? And then, knowing that he is upset by the state of his love life and partner, Marinette asks Chat Noir to help her practice confessing, in the most convoluted and unclear way possible. Who says boyfriend-who-is-not-my-boyfriend-yet when referring to someone that has no idea of her feelings for them, and does not have any romantic history with them yet, and has made no indication that he has feelings for her? Seems quite possessive, especially coming from the person that has schedules and hundreds of gifts for them (including one she JUST handed to him). This incident kind of derails the slow and steady progress Marinette had been making for months to take Adrien off the pedestal she had him on, and see him as a normal, kind person that she wanted to try a relationship with. She was just starting to be able to talk to him, and here comes the writers, erasing her character development for a few cheap laughs. Maybe Chat Noir doesn't know it was Marinette that threw him in the trash earlier that day, but he probably would feel pretty hurt if he ever did realize.
Yet she is still annoyed at Chat Noir about Plagg "roaming around for miles" to get the cheese in Kwamibuster. (WHILE TIKKI WAS CAUGHT TOO). She never did really talk to Chat Noir about leaving him to protect civilians alone for a while (till he finally got hit and brainwashed too, might I add) while she was trying to get Tikki back in Princess Fragrance.
And she does this to Alya too in The Mime, even though her plan involved a huge identity risk if she left the second video and Alya realized they were clearly different? (And she still gets on to chat noir about his identity even though his is probably one of the safest? She also tends to eavesdrop and hide behind objects to watch other people, especially Adrien (a celebrity, so it would look a lot creepier for her if she had other intentions?) Why does someone being out in public or talking to someone in public make it okay for Marinette to watch them without their knowledge? Marinette even low-key broke into his house in Party Crasher to spy on him. Can he not just do things with their shared friends without her? I think what gets me is when she abuses her powers for personal gain, yet chastises CN when he does it like she's so much more mature and responsible than him. How many akumas has Adrien/CN directly caused compared to Marinette again? (It doesn't count when someone is akumatized for merely liking Adrien, like Kagami. He has no control over that).
I understand maybe telling classmates that know Adrien about it, if for GOOD REASON, but to drop that to someone that has no connection to it out of the blue? Adrien is already going to learn in season 6 that a ton of people know his family's dirty laundry more than he does (including Marinette the blabbermouth), and the only secret he really has to himself is Chat Noir (Which Luka found out without him knowing, so he doesn't even have that), so was this necessary?
Great job Marinette, you just made Ladybug look super immature and petty in front of your crush (who is also the one person that likes Ladybug!). You also just made a powerful enemy that hates you on both sides of the mask. I don't know how Adrien didn't get an ick from Ladybug doing that tbh.
(also, what was up with Chat Noir getting mad at someone that didn't go to something they said they might not go to. Also, he could have just moved the surprise to a day she WAS available. maybe I should make a similar rant over Adrien's small actions.)
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2024.05.18 20:47 London1995x I’m (F29) getting a little uncomfortable and worried about my boyfriend’s (M30) female friend. What should I do?
My boyfriend (M30) and I (F29) have been together for over three years and have just celebrated our anniversary.
However, I’ve started to become uncomfortable about his a female colleague (F29) who is become close too. I’ve only met her twice briefly at their work.
She started tagging him on instagram stories saying ‘even when your not here, we’re together’ with a screen shot of them video calling each other whilst she was at work. She tagged him in many more such as with her arms around him but he wasn’t doing it back.
Also whilst we were out celebrating our 3rd anniversary she rang the same evening to have a conversation with my boyfriend, even though she said happy anniversary, I felt weird.
He’s also told me conversations he’s had with her and one being of her asking if he loved me and if he’s happy with being someone who not from the same country or quiet like me. They’re both from the same country and obviously speak the same language. He told me he told her that he was in love with me and said he doesn’t find it a problem that we’re from different backgrounds.
My tipping point was when my boyfriend said she invited him to a lunch at her house. He told me about it and I said I was uncomfortable and he didn’t go which I did not say to do. He said I have nothing to worry about because he doesn’t see her as anything but a friend and someone like a bro because he’s not attracted to her like that. He also said that she’s going through a hard time and is alone, as in doesn’t move with anyone and is having family issues. He tells me most things about her.
I’m not sure how to feel about this and I don’t know what to do about it because I don’t want to break a friendship or ruin our relationship. What is the best way to go about this? TL;DR
submitted by London1995x to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
However, I’ve started to become uncomfortable about his a female colleague (F29) who is become close too. I’ve only met her twice briefly at their work.
She started tagging him on instagram stories saying ‘even when your not here, we’re together’ with a screen shot of them video calling each other whilst she was at work. She tagged him in many more such as with her arms around him but he wasn’t doing it back.
Also whilst we were out celebrating our 3rd anniversary she rang the same evening to have a conversation with my boyfriend, even though she said happy anniversary, I felt weird.
He’s also told me conversations he’s had with her and one being of her asking if he loved me and if he’s happy with being someone who not from the same country or quiet like me. They’re both from the same country and obviously speak the same language. He told me he told her that he was in love with me and said he doesn’t find it a problem that we’re from different backgrounds.
My tipping point was when my boyfriend said she invited him to a lunch at her house. He told me about it and I said I was uncomfortable and he didn’t go which I did not say to do. He said I have nothing to worry about because he doesn’t see her as anything but a friend and someone like a bro because he’s not attracted to her like that. He also said that she’s going through a hard time and is alone, as in doesn’t move with anyone and is having family issues. He tells me most things about her.
I’m not sure how to feel about this and I don’t know what to do about it because I don’t want to break a friendship or ruin our relationship. What is the best way to go about this? TL;DR
2024.05.18 20:41 Necessary_Adagio5661 Easiest way to get over breakup with bpd girl when I caused it..?
When I met this girl she was being abused by her boyfriend at the time and I figured we wouldn’t last, I didn’t really want to date in the first place but I helped her out of that, had a decent 3 years until she got into drugs again and started hanging around the same people she was around to begin with, now she’s doing coke and heroin and basically I broke up with her in January, she went downhill more and we decided on fwb, now everytime we hang she can’t go more than 10 minutes without messaging these crackheads which are the reason for us breaking up, I’ve never seen someone go this far downhill this fast, she spends like 300$ of her 600$ a week in just alcohol and weed, let alone the coke, I’ve come back so many times but yesterday was the last, she was at their house and we stopped for food which I bought for us, then she went and just purchased more alcohol than usual for their night, we were supposed to go on a walk but you can tell she was itching to get back to their house because she’s there from Thursday until she works again on Sunday doing god knows what.. you can tell she’s caring less about me, she won’t message me when she’s out with them barely, or if I don’t reply she won’t spam, until she’s not on drugs and back at home for a couple days but this is just loveless and I feel there’s more out there for me, I think I’m more so bored because of stuff and I need to keep busy , everything she does is a red flag and I don’t know why I miss her, I feel it’s just because I’m used to seeing her daily for 3 years straight, but she chooses her new friends and drugs over me everytime , I check her social sometimes and it’s even worse, I can tell she’s starting to care less and I need to leave before she does completely, she used to be obsessed with me until the cocaine and stuff, I want a house in the future and she lives paycheck to paycheck, I need to focus on getting a better job and I feel that’s why I’m so upset, nobody is going to like a 28 year old working at a grocery store etc.. my cousin said I can work on the ships with a few certificates and it’ll keep me busy so I might go get them and maybe if I like it, school and then make bank from it, any help is appreciated, she’s gaslit so hard our whole relationship yet can do whatever she wants it seems
submitted by Necessary_Adagio5661 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
2024.05.18 20:34 planetdaughter Am I wrong for feeling this way?
I (F, 25) have been going to this cafe for the past year to study. The cafe is next to a uni so it’s always filled with students and one of them quickly caught my eye from the first day I went there because he looked so much like a celebrity that my sister and I like. Every time I would go there and saw him I was drawn to him because the energy he gave off was so positive and warm. Every time I saw him interact with other people he always seemed so kind and genuine and it really made me want to get to know him. I also thought he was really cute.
Fast forward a few months later, I find his instagram through some people I know that go to the uni too. I also find out that he’s 22…and for some reason it felt wrong for me to be “crushing” on him? In the meantime, I show my sister (who is 19) his insta and she immediately is shocked by the resemblance to the celebrity we both like. She tells me we have to find a way to talk to him so she decides to simply follow him on insta. She did, she messaged him, and a few days later they decided to hang out. They hit it off immediately and he started falling for her quickly. He even surprised her at her after prom party and always made sure she got home safe. He calls her pretty and says he loves to spend time with her, he even started calling her on the phone just because he likes talking to her. I can see he’s being very genuine.
I was okay with her doing this. In fact, I was so excited during their first meet up and hyped her up because I was so excited to finally have a connection to this guy. He’s genuinely one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever seen and I can see how they are naturally and quickly “falling” for each other. But while I was happy and excited for her at first, as I saw this unfold before me I started realizing that it kind of hurt me? I know it’s my fault, I told her to go for it and I realized that I might be too old for crushing on a 22 year old (I have never been attracted to younger guys) but in the end this is someone that I had my eyes on for almost a year. I admit to stalking his insta sometimes and feeling jittery anytime I’d see him at the cafe. Sometimes knowing that I would see him was what motivated me to go there to study. And then suddenly, all of this is gone and he falls for my sister and I have to show happiness and support because I encouraged it. I kept telling her “he’s too young for me anyways” so is it wrong for me to feel hurt over this? Am I even allowed to?
I feel like such a loser. I’ve always struggled so much with showing emotions and opening up to people. I’ve never had a real boyfriend because I feel like I’m incapable of being in a relationship. The last guy I was involved with was seeing another girl behind my back and I felt so humiliated. So me and love don’t go well together. I’ve been staring at the pictures they took and they look so good and cute together and I should be happy that they really hit it off and I am, but I also feel so stupid and humiliated in a way and sad that I could not be her. That I’m not younger, that I didn’t have her courage to just go up to him and say hi, that I am the way I am. I also feel so guilty for feeling this way and for not being as excited when she shows me their texts as I was at the beginning. I guess I’m just getting lost in what’s wrong and what’s right
submitted by planetdaughter to amiwrong [link] [comments]
Fast forward a few months later, I find his instagram through some people I know that go to the uni too. I also find out that he’s 22…and for some reason it felt wrong for me to be “crushing” on him? In the meantime, I show my sister (who is 19) his insta and she immediately is shocked by the resemblance to the celebrity we both like. She tells me we have to find a way to talk to him so she decides to simply follow him on insta. She did, she messaged him, and a few days later they decided to hang out. They hit it off immediately and he started falling for her quickly. He even surprised her at her after prom party and always made sure she got home safe. He calls her pretty and says he loves to spend time with her, he even started calling her on the phone just because he likes talking to her. I can see he’s being very genuine.
I was okay with her doing this. In fact, I was so excited during their first meet up and hyped her up because I was so excited to finally have a connection to this guy. He’s genuinely one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever seen and I can see how they are naturally and quickly “falling” for each other. But while I was happy and excited for her at first, as I saw this unfold before me I started realizing that it kind of hurt me? I know it’s my fault, I told her to go for it and I realized that I might be too old for crushing on a 22 year old (I have never been attracted to younger guys) but in the end this is someone that I had my eyes on for almost a year. I admit to stalking his insta sometimes and feeling jittery anytime I’d see him at the cafe. Sometimes knowing that I would see him was what motivated me to go there to study. And then suddenly, all of this is gone and he falls for my sister and I have to show happiness and support because I encouraged it. I kept telling her “he’s too young for me anyways” so is it wrong for me to feel hurt over this? Am I even allowed to?
I feel like such a loser. I’ve always struggled so much with showing emotions and opening up to people. I’ve never had a real boyfriend because I feel like I’m incapable of being in a relationship. The last guy I was involved with was seeing another girl behind my back and I felt so humiliated. So me and love don’t go well together. I’ve been staring at the pictures they took and they look so good and cute together and I should be happy that they really hit it off and I am, but I also feel so stupid and humiliated in a way and sad that I could not be her. That I’m not younger, that I didn’t have her courage to just go up to him and say hi, that I am the way I am. I also feel so guilty for feeling this way and for not being as excited when she shows me their texts as I was at the beginning. I guess I’m just getting lost in what’s wrong and what’s right
2024.05.18 20:31 CamelBackground6292 My boss is excluding me and siding with his best friend who emotionally abused me
Some background. When I (26F) was in college I did a summer program where I got to perform with other students ages 16-22ish. The program was not affiliated with any school. I was 18 the first summer and I became really close with the guy ("Gus" 39M) who was in charge of teaching me and my peers. I took a summer off to do some service work for a church and went back the year after, where Gus was still in charge of teaching students. While I was gone, Gus and I communicated frequently via email and FB, with him giving me lots of support because it was hard being away from home. Over time, as I leaned on him for support, he began to do the same.
The summer I went back, Gus and I remained very close. While he would be teaching me and my peers, we would also still be exchanging messages and joking around. Outside of the program, we would hang out and get food, he would give me rides (he said physical touch was his love language and would often give me long hugs or put his hand on my knee). He would always pay, saying he knew I was tight on money because of college. I didn't realize at the time that this was weird or not right for someone in a teaching position to do with a student, even an adult one. When people started asking me if Gus and I were dating, I let Gus know that people thinking that made me uncomfortable and we should reevaluate how we act because I wasn't interested in that. We were just friends. It seemed like he understood, but over those next months, he would get upset with me when I had more free time to give to my boyfriend (now husband "Shaun") than I did Gus.
Shaun and I got engaged and Gus was upset I didn't tell him directly (we told our siblings and parents and then made a FB post for everyone else). It really soured my excitement. At our wedding, Gus sat a table the whole time and didn't come to the dance floor where I was the whole night. He was then upset that he didn't get a picture with me in my wedding dress before I changed.
Over the next few years this same pattern continued where Gus would be upset when I didn't spend more time with him, he'd get upset if I wasn't texting him every day, but he didn't want to hang out with me and Shaun together because "he didn't know Shaun that well". I tried to set boundaries multiple times and tried to explain to Gus that I was feeling like he was using me as a fill in SO, but he wouldn't ever finish talking through it, would say he understood or had questions, things would cool for a few months and then he'd start complaining about the lack of time we spent together again. I was still teaching at this school with him. My husband started teaching there as well and Gus complained saying "this was the last thing we had that was just us". I had started feeling anxious having to spend any time with Gus.
When I started working with the summer program, Gus was still there as well. I had to do a training for safety with minors in order to work there and that's when I started to realize Gus had developed a weird, unhealthy emotional attachment to me and had been ignoring the rules teachers are meant to follow concerning students (even adult students). He had been love bombing me, gaslighting me and emotionally abusing me for years. And I had no clue what to do with this realization. My heart sank. I loved being friends with Gus but he had abused me, my trust and my friendship. I decided I would just start cutting him out and leave it at that.
The following summer, I had a friend who had also been a student in the program who was now working with the program ask me how I got Gus to leave me alone. Apparently, she'd been feeling uncomfortable around him as well for similar reasons (though she was older and smarter than I was when he started pushing on her). I told her I hadn't, really, I just stopped talking to him.
This past year, I got a more permanent position with that same school. I had thought that Gus was no longer working there much, so I thought it would be okay. I work directly with someone who I'd known for years, and had known Gus for decades. Gus and him hang out every Sunday and they had worked together for just as many years. Like I said, I thought Gus wasn't working in that same role anymore, so I took the job and thought nothing of him. I was wrong. And I had a breakdown knowing I'd have to work directly with Gus now. My boss had no clue any of this was a thing and I hadn't previously mentioned any of to anyone besides my husband. After realizing I'd be working with Gus, I broke down to my boss who encouraged me to let the program coordinator of the summer program know about what had happened. I was worried at this point because it was clear it wasn't just me - if it had been, I would've suffered in silence. So, I let the coordinator know. I also texted Gus one last time to let him know I could not and would not be involved in this sick twisted friendship any longer. I would work with him, but that was it.
Gus was asked to resign from his position as a result and he was informed that I was the individual who had made the report. I still think it was wrong for whoever to betray my anonymity but I haven't done anything about it.
Now onto the problem as a result of all of this. The school we all 3 work with has no clue that Gus was asked to resign his position working with students because of an inappropriate relationship with a student. Gus and my boss exclude me from major decisions, even though Gus is hired as a para professional and I am hired as an Assistant Coach. On paper, Gus and I should at least be on the same level, if not me above him, but he has years of tenure.
I kept asking my boss why I wasn't being included, and he kept giving me bullshit excuses about how I wasn't intentionally being excluded, Gus and him just hang out a lot and end up talking about work at the same time. Things finally came to a head a few days ago when I was excluded from our staff FB chat group for the past few months until that day. I confronted my boss on why I had been excluded, telling him it wasn't really about the chat, it was about everything else leading up to it. I asked him again why I had been excluded from major decisions and he finally told me it was because Gus was uncomfortable being around me. To say I was shocked and angry was an understatement. I was already crying from frustration before he admitted this.
I reminded my boss that I was the victim, not Gus. He told me "well he's not NOT the victim, his whole life is different now because of your report". I reminded him that he encouraged me to bring it forward and he said "don't turn this on me, you chose to do it" completely ignoring that I had told him I was unsure what to do but just wanted him to know because Gus and I would be working together. He has no concept for the idea that he's shaming me as the victim. He told me he was trying to "mitigate" the situation and every time he had suggested bringing me in on things, he "could just see Gus tense up and get comfortable" and so he decided to leave me out, instead. My boss is choosing his best friend over me. I asked my boss what my future here could possibly be if he was going to choose Gus over me, and he went off on how he values me, but if I feel I need to leave, then that's my choice.
I'm just so angry that I'm getting punished for something Gus did. I'm losing out on opportunities because I was emotionally abused. And no one else on the staff has any clue and they all use love Gus. It feels like no one knows or cares that I'm getting pushed out of my dream job because an older man got the hots for one of his students and couldn't control himself. I don't even know how to bring this up to the administration, because I clearly can't work in these conditions and they need to know if I leave it's because my boss is siding with my emotional abuser on all of this.
submitted by CamelBackground6292 to AITAH [link] [comments]
The summer I went back, Gus and I remained very close. While he would be teaching me and my peers, we would also still be exchanging messages and joking around. Outside of the program, we would hang out and get food, he would give me rides (he said physical touch was his love language and would often give me long hugs or put his hand on my knee). He would always pay, saying he knew I was tight on money because of college. I didn't realize at the time that this was weird or not right for someone in a teaching position to do with a student, even an adult one. When people started asking me if Gus and I were dating, I let Gus know that people thinking that made me uncomfortable and we should reevaluate how we act because I wasn't interested in that. We were just friends. It seemed like he understood, but over those next months, he would get upset with me when I had more free time to give to my boyfriend (now husband "Shaun") than I did Gus.
Shaun and I got engaged and Gus was upset I didn't tell him directly (we told our siblings and parents and then made a FB post for everyone else). It really soured my excitement. At our wedding, Gus sat a table the whole time and didn't come to the dance floor where I was the whole night. He was then upset that he didn't get a picture with me in my wedding dress before I changed.
Over the next few years this same pattern continued where Gus would be upset when I didn't spend more time with him, he'd get upset if I wasn't texting him every day, but he didn't want to hang out with me and Shaun together because "he didn't know Shaun that well". I tried to set boundaries multiple times and tried to explain to Gus that I was feeling like he was using me as a fill in SO, but he wouldn't ever finish talking through it, would say he understood or had questions, things would cool for a few months and then he'd start complaining about the lack of time we spent together again. I was still teaching at this school with him. My husband started teaching there as well and Gus complained saying "this was the last thing we had that was just us". I had started feeling anxious having to spend any time with Gus.
When I started working with the summer program, Gus was still there as well. I had to do a training for safety with minors in order to work there and that's when I started to realize Gus had developed a weird, unhealthy emotional attachment to me and had been ignoring the rules teachers are meant to follow concerning students (even adult students). He had been love bombing me, gaslighting me and emotionally abusing me for years. And I had no clue what to do with this realization. My heart sank. I loved being friends with Gus but he had abused me, my trust and my friendship. I decided I would just start cutting him out and leave it at that.
The following summer, I had a friend who had also been a student in the program who was now working with the program ask me how I got Gus to leave me alone. Apparently, she'd been feeling uncomfortable around him as well for similar reasons (though she was older and smarter than I was when he started pushing on her). I told her I hadn't, really, I just stopped talking to him.
This past year, I got a more permanent position with that same school. I had thought that Gus was no longer working there much, so I thought it would be okay. I work directly with someone who I'd known for years, and had known Gus for decades. Gus and him hang out every Sunday and they had worked together for just as many years. Like I said, I thought Gus wasn't working in that same role anymore, so I took the job and thought nothing of him. I was wrong. And I had a breakdown knowing I'd have to work directly with Gus now. My boss had no clue any of this was a thing and I hadn't previously mentioned any of to anyone besides my husband. After realizing I'd be working with Gus, I broke down to my boss who encouraged me to let the program coordinator of the summer program know about what had happened. I was worried at this point because it was clear it wasn't just me - if it had been, I would've suffered in silence. So, I let the coordinator know. I also texted Gus one last time to let him know I could not and would not be involved in this sick twisted friendship any longer. I would work with him, but that was it.
Gus was asked to resign from his position as a result and he was informed that I was the individual who had made the report. I still think it was wrong for whoever to betray my anonymity but I haven't done anything about it.
Now onto the problem as a result of all of this. The school we all 3 work with has no clue that Gus was asked to resign his position working with students because of an inappropriate relationship with a student. Gus and my boss exclude me from major decisions, even though Gus is hired as a para professional and I am hired as an Assistant Coach. On paper, Gus and I should at least be on the same level, if not me above him, but he has years of tenure.
I kept asking my boss why I wasn't being included, and he kept giving me bullshit excuses about how I wasn't intentionally being excluded, Gus and him just hang out a lot and end up talking about work at the same time. Things finally came to a head a few days ago when I was excluded from our staff FB chat group for the past few months until that day. I confronted my boss on why I had been excluded, telling him it wasn't really about the chat, it was about everything else leading up to it. I asked him again why I had been excluded from major decisions and he finally told me it was because Gus was uncomfortable being around me. To say I was shocked and angry was an understatement. I was already crying from frustration before he admitted this.
I reminded my boss that I was the victim, not Gus. He told me "well he's not NOT the victim, his whole life is different now because of your report". I reminded him that he encouraged me to bring it forward and he said "don't turn this on me, you chose to do it" completely ignoring that I had told him I was unsure what to do but just wanted him to know because Gus and I would be working together. He has no concept for the idea that he's shaming me as the victim. He told me he was trying to "mitigate" the situation and every time he had suggested bringing me in on things, he "could just see Gus tense up and get comfortable" and so he decided to leave me out, instead. My boss is choosing his best friend over me. I asked my boss what my future here could possibly be if he was going to choose Gus over me, and he went off on how he values me, but if I feel I need to leave, then that's my choice.
I'm just so angry that I'm getting punished for something Gus did. I'm losing out on opportunities because I was emotionally abused. And no one else on the staff has any clue and they all use love Gus. It feels like no one knows or cares that I'm getting pushed out of my dream job because an older man got the hots for one of his students and couldn't control himself. I don't even know how to bring this up to the administration, because I clearly can't work in these conditions and they need to know if I leave it's because my boss is siding with my emotional abuser on all of this.
2024.05.18 20:27 Meleys174326 23M [M4M] Looking for a loving guy
Greetings! I'm a guy on the lookout for someone with the potential to become my boyfriend, but let's start as best friends, keeping things strictly SFW. But I am going to ask you that from the start, we both take things seriously, I am not playing here.
What I'm Seeking: I'm searching for a handsome, skinny or average-built, masculine man with a great personality. Let's take the time to get acquainted and see where it leads. Age range: 18 to 25. Could that be you?
About Me: I consider myself more on the masculine side, characterized by love, care, kindness, support, and sensitivity. Writing love letters is a favorite pastime of mine. I value compromise and commitment, and once I fall in love, my loyalty is unwavering.
Physical Description: I have hazel eyes, short dark blonde hair, and an average build. You can also find a picture of me in my profile, along with a heartfelt letter to my future boyfriend, whoever that may be.
Shared Activities: Imagine us making voice and video calls, watching movies, enjoying music together. If this sounds appealing and you fit the description I've given, don't hesitate to send a message. If you don't match what I'm looking for, I'd recommend against it to avoid wasting your time. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to connecting with you all in my DMs.
I'm determined to achieve that success story flair one day! Help me make it a reality!
submitted by Meleys174326 to DatingAfterTwenty [link] [comments]
What I'm Seeking: I'm searching for a handsome, skinny or average-built, masculine man with a great personality. Let's take the time to get acquainted and see where it leads. Age range: 18 to 25. Could that be you?
About Me: I consider myself more on the masculine side, characterized by love, care, kindness, support, and sensitivity. Writing love letters is a favorite pastime of mine. I value compromise and commitment, and once I fall in love, my loyalty is unwavering.
Physical Description: I have hazel eyes, short dark blonde hair, and an average build. You can also find a picture of me in my profile, along with a heartfelt letter to my future boyfriend, whoever that may be.
Shared Activities: Imagine us making voice and video calls, watching movies, enjoying music together. If this sounds appealing and you fit the description I've given, don't hesitate to send a message. If you don't match what I'm looking for, I'd recommend against it to avoid wasting your time. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to connecting with you all in my DMs.
I'm determined to achieve that success story flair one day! Help me make it a reality!
2024.05.18 20:26 Meleys174326 23M [M4M] Looking for a loving guy
Greetings! I'm a guy on the lookout for someone with the potential to become my boyfriend, but let's start as best friends, keeping things strictly SFW. But I am going to ask you that from the start, we both take things seriously, I am not playing here.
What I'm Seeking: I'm searching for a handsome, skinny or average-built, masculine man with a great personality. Let's take the time to get acquainted and see where it leads. Age range: 18 to 25. Could that be you?
About Me: I consider myself more on the masculine side, characterized by love, care, kindness, support, and sensitivity. Writing love letters is a favorite pastime of mine. I value compromise and commitment, and once I fall in love, my loyalty is unwavering.
Physical Description: I have hazel eyes, short dark blonde hair, and an average build. You can also find a picture of me in my profile, along with a heartfelt letter to my future boyfriend, whoever that may be.
Shared Activities: Imagine us making voice and video calls, watching movies, enjoying music together. If this sounds appealing and you fit the description I've given, don't hesitate to send a message. If you don't match what I'm looking for, I'd recommend against it to avoid wasting your time. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to connecting with you all in my DMs.
I'm determined to achieve that success story flair one day! Help me make it a reality!
submitted by Meleys174326 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
What I'm Seeking: I'm searching for a handsome, skinny or average-built, masculine man with a great personality. Let's take the time to get acquainted and see where it leads. Age range: 18 to 25. Could that be you?
About Me: I consider myself more on the masculine side, characterized by love, care, kindness, support, and sensitivity. Writing love letters is a favorite pastime of mine. I value compromise and commitment, and once I fall in love, my loyalty is unwavering.
Physical Description: I have hazel eyes, short dark blonde hair, and an average build. You can also find a picture of me in my profile, along with a heartfelt letter to my future boyfriend, whoever that may be.
Shared Activities: Imagine us making voice and video calls, watching movies, enjoying music together. If this sounds appealing and you fit the description I've given, don't hesitate to send a message. If you don't match what I'm looking for, I'd recommend against it to avoid wasting your time. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to connecting with you all in my DMs.
I'm determined to achieve that success story flair one day! Help me make it a reality!
2024.05.18 20:26 Meleys174326 23M [M4M] #Online - Looking for a loving guy
Greetings! I'm a guy on the lookout for someone with the potential to become my boyfriend, but let's start as best friends, keeping things strictly SFW. But I am going to ask you that from the start, we both take things seriously, I am not playing here.
What I'm Seeking: I'm searching for a handsome, skinny or average-built, masculine man with a great personality. Let's take the time to get acquainted and see where it leads. Age range: 18 to 25. Could that be you?
About Me: I consider myself more on the masculine side, characterized by love, care, kindness, support, and sensitivity. Writing love letters is a favorite pastime of mine. I value compromise and commitment, and once I fall in love, my loyalty is unwavering.
Physical Description: I have hazel eyes, short dark blonde hair, and an average build. You can also find a picture of me in my profile, along with a heartfelt letter to my future boyfriend, whoever that may be.
Shared Activities: Imagine us making voice and video calls, watching movies, enjoying music together. If this sounds appealing and you fit the description I've given, don't hesitate to send a message. If you don't match what I'm looking for, I'd recommend against it to avoid wasting your time. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to connecting with you all in my DMs.
I'm determined to achieve that success story flair one day! Help me make it a reality!
submitted by Meleys174326 to r4r [link] [comments]
What I'm Seeking: I'm searching for a handsome, skinny or average-built, masculine man with a great personality. Let's take the time to get acquainted and see where it leads. Age range: 18 to 25. Could that be you?
About Me: I consider myself more on the masculine side, characterized by love, care, kindness, support, and sensitivity. Writing love letters is a favorite pastime of mine. I value compromise and commitment, and once I fall in love, my loyalty is unwavering.
Physical Description: I have hazel eyes, short dark blonde hair, and an average build. You can also find a picture of me in my profile, along with a heartfelt letter to my future boyfriend, whoever that may be.
Shared Activities: Imagine us making voice and video calls, watching movies, enjoying music together. If this sounds appealing and you fit the description I've given, don't hesitate to send a message. If you don't match what I'm looking for, I'd recommend against it to avoid wasting your time. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to connecting with you all in my DMs.
I'm determined to achieve that success story flair one day! Help me make it a reality!
2024.05.18 20:26 Meleys174326 23M [M4M] Looking for a loving guy
Greetings! I'm a guy on the lookout for someone with the potential to become my boyfriend, but let's start as best friends, keeping things strictly SFW. But I am going to ask you that from the start, we both take things seriously, I am not playing here.
What I'm Seeking: I'm searching for a handsome, skinny or average-built, masculine man with a great personality. Let's take the time to get acquainted and see where it leads. Age range: 18 to 25. Could that be you?
About Me: I consider myself more on the masculine side, characterized by love, care, kindness, support, and sensitivity. Writing love letters is a favorite pastime of mine. I value compromise and commitment, and once I fall in love, my loyalty is unwavering.
Physical Description: I have hazel eyes, short dark blonde hair, and an average build. You can also find a picture of me in my profile, along with a heartfelt letter to my future boyfriend, whoever that may be.
Shared Activities: Imagine us making voice and video calls, watching movies, enjoying music together. If this sounds appealing and you fit the description I've given, don't hesitate to send a message. If you don't match what I'm looking for, I'd recommend against it to avoid wasting your time. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to connecting with you all in my DMs.
I'm determined to achieve that success story flair one day! Help me make it a reality!
submitted by Meleys174326 to MeetNewPeopleHere [link] [comments]
What I'm Seeking: I'm searching for a handsome, skinny or average-built, masculine man with a great personality. Let's take the time to get acquainted and see where it leads. Age range: 18 to 25. Could that be you?
About Me: I consider myself more on the masculine side, characterized by love, care, kindness, support, and sensitivity. Writing love letters is a favorite pastime of mine. I value compromise and commitment, and once I fall in love, my loyalty is unwavering.
Physical Description: I have hazel eyes, short dark blonde hair, and an average build. You can also find a picture of me in my profile, along with a heartfelt letter to my future boyfriend, whoever that may be.
Shared Activities: Imagine us making voice and video calls, watching movies, enjoying music together. If this sounds appealing and you fit the description I've given, don't hesitate to send a message. If you don't match what I'm looking for, I'd recommend against it to avoid wasting your time. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to connecting with you all in my DMs.
I'm determined to achieve that success story flair one day! Help me make it a reality!
2024.05.18 20:25 Meleys174326 23M [M4M] The Americas - Looking for a loving guy
Greetings! I'm a guy on the lookout for someone with the potential to become my boyfriend, but let's start as best friends, keeping things strictly SFW. But I am going to ask you that from the start, we both take things seriously, I am not playing here.
What I'm Seeking: I'm searching for a handsome, skinny or average-built, masculine man with a great personality. Let's take the time to get acquainted and see where it leads. Age range: 18 to 25. Could that be you?
About Me: I consider myself more on the masculine side, characterized by love, care, kindness, support, and sensitivity. Writing love letters is a favorite pastime of mine. I value compromise and commitment, and once I fall in love, my loyalty is unwavering.
Physical Description: I have hazel eyes, short dark blonde hair, and an average build. You can also find a picture of me in my profile, along with a heartfelt letter to my future boyfriend, whoever that may be.
Shared Activities: Imagine us making voice and video calls, watching movies, enjoying music together. If this sounds appealing and you fit the description I've given, don't hesitate to send a message. If you don't match what I'm looking for, I'd recommend against it to avoid wasting your time. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to connecting with you all in my DMs.
I'm determined to achieve that success story flair one day! Help me make it a reality!
submitted by Meleys174326 to gaydating [link] [comments]
What I'm Seeking: I'm searching for a handsome, skinny or average-built, masculine man with a great personality. Let's take the time to get acquainted and see where it leads. Age range: 18 to 25. Could that be you?
About Me: I consider myself more on the masculine side, characterized by love, care, kindness, support, and sensitivity. Writing love letters is a favorite pastime of mine. I value compromise and commitment, and once I fall in love, my loyalty is unwavering.
Physical Description: I have hazel eyes, short dark blonde hair, and an average build. You can also find a picture of me in my profile, along with a heartfelt letter to my future boyfriend, whoever that may be.
Shared Activities: Imagine us making voice and video calls, watching movies, enjoying music together. If this sounds appealing and you fit the description I've given, don't hesitate to send a message. If you don't match what I'm looking for, I'd recommend against it to avoid wasting your time. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to connecting with you all in my DMs.
I'm determined to achieve that success story flair one day! Help me make it a reality!
2024.05.18 20:01 ThrowRAsugarr My (23F) insecurities are ruining my relationship (25M). How do I stop?
I (23F) have been dating 25M for 10 months now. I am so scared I am going to sabotage this relationship because of my insecurities. I am just comparing myself endlessly with his ex-gf and his ex-FWB.. There are multiple things that bother me, I''ll try to list them:
It’s almost like I want to make myself feel anxious and insecure. Information, pictures or texts that I've found through lurking (which I try to stop doing) hurts my feelings but have burned themselves into my head. (1) For example, the summer we started dating he was frequently liking his ex-FWB pictures on IG - some revealing, some not - last one he liked was from a couple of months back, a very revealing one where she had taken a picture from above, angle looking into her tanktop, her tongue was out, nipple piercings visable through her shirt, very suggestive. Him liking provocative pictures of a woman he used to have sex with makes me uncomfortable. He hasn't done it for months now, but I fear it could return around summer when she wears revealing outfits again.
(2) I've also recently realized in a group chat with his friends he added me to, you can look back at messages before you were in the GC. That led me to look way back and see some things from months before we started dating, that still bothers me. Messages about his ex-FWB, how hot she is, how hot it is that she is a masochist (I'm not one), etc. I even saw pictures he had shared in the GC of many, many nudes she had sent him and pictures he took while they were having sex, in many different positions (with her consent, she's into it). It bothers me it looks to be using the same BDSM equipment he uses on me, the same positions he likes me in, etc. It makes me paranoid he's thinking about her when he's having sex with me. From the pictures it was apparent she is more sexually confident than I am, which makes sense given she has a much bigger sexual history than I do, he only just took my virginity, but still, it makes me scared he wishes I was more like her. This thoughts show up in my head almost any time we do anything sexual together, it's horrible and obviously makes it very hard to be fully there and enjoy it
(3) I also saw a message he sent in the GC 8 days after him and I had met: “I asked \ex-fwb* if she wanted to fuck just now, she's online she’s ignoring me lol”.* This was 8 days after we met, 8 days after he sent a message to that same GC about how he met a cute girl and he thinks that she likes him (me). We weren't official, didn't become so until 5 days after he sent that ex-fwb message, but still, it kind of hurts he wishes to hook up with her once more even after we had met, we had had our first date at that point. Especially also because he has told me multiple times that having sex with her reassured him that sex just as a means to get off wasn't for him, and that it was the emotional intimacy that made it important to him, he said he didn’t even enjoy it, wasn’t even attracted to her body type, etc…. yet he wanted to do it again? I fear he lied to me.
(4) There were also some messages from the past about his ex. He send various different texts various different occasions about how he loves how extremely outgoing and sociable she is and that they can have such intelligent discussions. I feel like him and I never discuss things back and forth. I also am very, very much the opposite of "sociable", I am very quiet and subdued, I like to observe more than anything and talking to strangers makes me nervous. He also send a comment about how his ex, at the time when they were dating, had "perfect big boobs", which makes me insecure since mine are much more on the smaller side.
This is me being insecure. I am aware of that, fully. I want to fix it. I am in queue for therapy, but for now I’m doing my best with what I can do. It is absolutely exhausting, the way everything makes me second guess myself. I've never felt as insecure as I do now. I've considered breaking up multiple times, even though I love him and really can see myself having a family with him in the future, just because it is so draining and I feel much more insecure now than I ever did before we were dating. The little insecurity that I do show him willingly, he will go on to reassure me a ton.. he's very loving, supportive and reassuring that he loves me for how I am, he's called me more attractive, trustworthy, more compatible, etc, that any girl he had a relationship with before, so it's not as if he is trying to make me insecure or anything. It's all in my head. How do I improve from this? ANY advice appreciated x
TL;DR: I'm struggling with insecurities in my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 months. I find myself comparing myself to his exes and feeling inadequate. I've discovered past messages about his ex-FWB and ex-girlfriend that exacerbate my anxiety, from before we were dating. Including him calling his ex-FWB hot, sharing the nudes she sent him, sharing pictures he took while they were having sex (with her consent). It makes me extremely insecure and worried that he prefers her, or is thinkig about her when we do stuff.
Also about his ex, about how he thinks she's so amazing for being sociable and outgoing and I am the completely opposite. I worry that he wishes I was more like her.. I feel jealous and uncomfortable with the fact that he has liked his ex-FWB provocative IG pics last summer and I worry he will start liking her pictures again this summer when she starts to wear less clothing again, despite them seemingly not having been in contact since she ghosted him. I'm aware of my insecurities and seeking therapy, but it's not readily available. My boyfriend is supportive, but I fear my insecurities may damage our relationship. How do I repair my insecurities?
submitted by ThrowRAsugarr to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
It’s almost like I want to make myself feel anxious and insecure. Information, pictures or texts that I've found through lurking (which I try to stop doing) hurts my feelings but have burned themselves into my head. (1) For example, the summer we started dating he was frequently liking his ex-FWB pictures on IG - some revealing, some not - last one he liked was from a couple of months back, a very revealing one where she had taken a picture from above, angle looking into her tanktop, her tongue was out, nipple piercings visable through her shirt, very suggestive. Him liking provocative pictures of a woman he used to have sex with makes me uncomfortable. He hasn't done it for months now, but I fear it could return around summer when she wears revealing outfits again.
(2) I've also recently realized in a group chat with his friends he added me to, you can look back at messages before you were in the GC. That led me to look way back and see some things from months before we started dating, that still bothers me. Messages about his ex-FWB, how hot she is, how hot it is that she is a masochist (I'm not one), etc. I even saw pictures he had shared in the GC of many, many nudes she had sent him and pictures he took while they were having sex, in many different positions (with her consent, she's into it). It bothers me it looks to be using the same BDSM equipment he uses on me, the same positions he likes me in, etc. It makes me paranoid he's thinking about her when he's having sex with me. From the pictures it was apparent she is more sexually confident than I am, which makes sense given she has a much bigger sexual history than I do, he only just took my virginity, but still, it makes me scared he wishes I was more like her. This thoughts show up in my head almost any time we do anything sexual together, it's horrible and obviously makes it very hard to be fully there and enjoy it
(3) I also saw a message he sent in the GC 8 days after him and I had met: “I asked \ex-fwb* if she wanted to fuck just now, she's online she’s ignoring me lol”.* This was 8 days after we met, 8 days after he sent a message to that same GC about how he met a cute girl and he thinks that she likes him (me). We weren't official, didn't become so until 5 days after he sent that ex-fwb message, but still, it kind of hurts he wishes to hook up with her once more even after we had met, we had had our first date at that point. Especially also because he has told me multiple times that having sex with her reassured him that sex just as a means to get off wasn't for him, and that it was the emotional intimacy that made it important to him, he said he didn’t even enjoy it, wasn’t even attracted to her body type, etc…. yet he wanted to do it again? I fear he lied to me.
(4) There were also some messages from the past about his ex. He send various different texts various different occasions about how he loves how extremely outgoing and sociable she is and that they can have such intelligent discussions. I feel like him and I never discuss things back and forth. I also am very, very much the opposite of "sociable", I am very quiet and subdued, I like to observe more than anything and talking to strangers makes me nervous. He also send a comment about how his ex, at the time when they were dating, had "perfect big boobs", which makes me insecure since mine are much more on the smaller side.
This is me being insecure. I am aware of that, fully. I want to fix it. I am in queue for therapy, but for now I’m doing my best with what I can do. It is absolutely exhausting, the way everything makes me second guess myself. I've never felt as insecure as I do now. I've considered breaking up multiple times, even though I love him and really can see myself having a family with him in the future, just because it is so draining and I feel much more insecure now than I ever did before we were dating. The little insecurity that I do show him willingly, he will go on to reassure me a ton.. he's very loving, supportive and reassuring that he loves me for how I am, he's called me more attractive, trustworthy, more compatible, etc, that any girl he had a relationship with before, so it's not as if he is trying to make me insecure or anything. It's all in my head. How do I improve from this? ANY advice appreciated x
TL;DR: I'm struggling with insecurities in my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 months. I find myself comparing myself to his exes and feeling inadequate. I've discovered past messages about his ex-FWB and ex-girlfriend that exacerbate my anxiety, from before we were dating. Including him calling his ex-FWB hot, sharing the nudes she sent him, sharing pictures he took while they were having sex (with her consent). It makes me extremely insecure and worried that he prefers her, or is thinkig about her when we do stuff.
Also about his ex, about how he thinks she's so amazing for being sociable and outgoing and I am the completely opposite. I worry that he wishes I was more like her.. I feel jealous and uncomfortable with the fact that he has liked his ex-FWB provocative IG pics last summer and I worry he will start liking her pictures again this summer when she starts to wear less clothing again, despite them seemingly not having been in contact since she ghosted him. I'm aware of my insecurities and seeking therapy, but it's not readily available. My boyfriend is supportive, but I fear my insecurities may damage our relationship. How do I repair my insecurities?
2024.05.18 20:00 ThrowRAsugarr My (23F) insecurities are ruining my relationship (25M). How do I stop?
I (23F) have been dating 25M for 10 months now. I am so scared I am going to sabotage this relationship because of my insecurities. I am just comparing myself endlessly with his ex-gf and his ex-FWB.. There are multiple things that bother me, I''ll try to list them:
It’s almost like I want to make myself feel anxious and insecure. Information, pictures or texts that I've found through lurking (which I try to stop doing) hurts my feelings but have burned themselves into my head. (1) For example, the summer we started dating he was frequently liking his ex-FWB pictures on IG - some revealing, some not - last one he liked was from a couple of months back, a very revealing one where she had taken a picture from above, angle looking into her tanktop, her tongue was out, nipple piercings visable through her shirt, very suggestive. Him liking provocative pictures of a woman he used to have sex with makes me uncomfortable. He hasn't done it for months now, but I fear it could return around summer when she wears revealing outfits again.
(2) I've also recently realized in a group chat with his friends he added me to, you can look back at messages before you were in the GC. That led me to look way back and see some things from months before we started dating, that still bothers me. Messages about his ex-FWB, how hot she is, how hot it is that she is a masochist (I'm not one), etc. I even saw pictures he had shared in the GC of many, many nudes she had sent him and pictures he took while they were having sex, in many different positions (with her consent, she's into it). It bothers me it looks to be using the same BDSM equipment he uses on me, the same positions he likes me in, etc. It makes me paranoid he's thinking about her when he's having sex with me. From the pictures it was apparent she is more sexually confident than I am, which makes sense given she has a much bigger sexual history than I do, he only just took my virginity, but still, it makes me scared he wishes I was more like her. This thoughts show up in my head almost any time we do anything sexual together, it's horrible and obviously makes it very hard to be fully there and enjoy it
(3) I also saw a message he sent in the GC 8 days after him and I had met: “I asked \ex-fwb* if she wanted to fuck just now, she's online she’s ignoring me lol”.* This was 8 days after we met, 8 days after he sent a message to that same GC about how he met a cute girl and he thinks that she likes him (me). We weren't official, didn't become so until 5 days after he sent that ex-fwb message, but still, it kind of hurts he wishes to hook up with her once more even after we had met, we had had our first date at that point. Especially also because he has told me multiple times that having sex with her reassured him that sex just as a means to get off wasn't for him, and that it was the emotional intimacy that made it important to him, he said he didn’t even enjoy it, wasn’t even attracted to her body type, etc…. yet he wanted to do it again? I fear he lied to me.
(4) There were also some messages from the past about his ex. He send various different texts various different occasions about how he loves how extremely outgoing and sociable she is and that they can have such intelligent discussions. I feel like him and I never discuss things back and forth. I also am very, very much the opposite of "sociable", I am very quiet and subdued, I like to observe more than anything and talking to strangers makes me nervous. He also send a comment about how his ex, at the time when they were dating, had "perfect big boobs", which makes me insecure since mine are much more on the smaller side.
This is me being insecure. I am aware of that, fully. I want to fix it. I am in queue for therapy, but for now I’m doing my best with what I can do. It is absolutely exhausting, the way everything makes me second guess myself. I've never felt as insecure as I do now. I've considered breaking up multiple times, even though I love him and really can see myself having a family with him in the future, just because it is so draining and I feel much more insecure now than I ever did before we were dating. The little insecurity that I do show him willingly, he will go on to reassure me a ton.. he's very loving, supportive and reassuring that he loves me for how I am, he's called me more attractive, trustworthy, more compatible, etc, that any girl he had a relationship with before, so it's not as if he is trying to make me insecure or anything. It's all in my head. How do I improve from this? ANY advice appreciated x
TL;DR: I'm struggling with insecurities in my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 months. I find myself comparing myself to his exes and feeling inadequate. I've discovered past messages about his ex-FWB and ex-girlfriend that exacerbate my anxiety, from before we were dating. Including him calling his ex-FWB hot, sharing the nudes she sent him, sharing pictures he took while they were having sex (with her consent). It makes me extremely insecure and worried that he prefers her, or is thinkig about her when we do stuff.
Also about his ex, about how he thinks she's so amazing for being sociable and outgoing and I am the completely opposite. I worry that he wishes I was more like her.. I feel jealous and uncomfortable with the fact that he has liked his ex-FWB provocative IG pics last summer and I worry he will start liking her pictures again this summer when she starts to wear less clothing again, despite them seemingly not having been in contact since she ghosted him. I'm aware of my insecurities and seeking therapy, but it's not readily available. My boyfriend is supportive, but I fear my insecurities may damage our relationship. How do I repair my insecurities?
submitted by ThrowRAsugarr to relationships [link] [comments]
It’s almost like I want to make myself feel anxious and insecure. Information, pictures or texts that I've found through lurking (which I try to stop doing) hurts my feelings but have burned themselves into my head. (1) For example, the summer we started dating he was frequently liking his ex-FWB pictures on IG - some revealing, some not - last one he liked was from a couple of months back, a very revealing one where she had taken a picture from above, angle looking into her tanktop, her tongue was out, nipple piercings visable through her shirt, very suggestive. Him liking provocative pictures of a woman he used to have sex with makes me uncomfortable. He hasn't done it for months now, but I fear it could return around summer when she wears revealing outfits again.
(2) I've also recently realized in a group chat with his friends he added me to, you can look back at messages before you were in the GC. That led me to look way back and see some things from months before we started dating, that still bothers me. Messages about his ex-FWB, how hot she is, how hot it is that she is a masochist (I'm not one), etc. I even saw pictures he had shared in the GC of many, many nudes she had sent him and pictures he took while they were having sex, in many different positions (with her consent, she's into it). It bothers me it looks to be using the same BDSM equipment he uses on me, the same positions he likes me in, etc. It makes me paranoid he's thinking about her when he's having sex with me. From the pictures it was apparent she is more sexually confident than I am, which makes sense given she has a much bigger sexual history than I do, he only just took my virginity, but still, it makes me scared he wishes I was more like her. This thoughts show up in my head almost any time we do anything sexual together, it's horrible and obviously makes it very hard to be fully there and enjoy it
(3) I also saw a message he sent in the GC 8 days after him and I had met: “I asked \ex-fwb* if she wanted to fuck just now, she's online she’s ignoring me lol”.* This was 8 days after we met, 8 days after he sent a message to that same GC about how he met a cute girl and he thinks that she likes him (me). We weren't official, didn't become so until 5 days after he sent that ex-fwb message, but still, it kind of hurts he wishes to hook up with her once more even after we had met, we had had our first date at that point. Especially also because he has told me multiple times that having sex with her reassured him that sex just as a means to get off wasn't for him, and that it was the emotional intimacy that made it important to him, he said he didn’t even enjoy it, wasn’t even attracted to her body type, etc…. yet he wanted to do it again? I fear he lied to me.
(4) There were also some messages from the past about his ex. He send various different texts various different occasions about how he loves how extremely outgoing and sociable she is and that they can have such intelligent discussions. I feel like him and I never discuss things back and forth. I also am very, very much the opposite of "sociable", I am very quiet and subdued, I like to observe more than anything and talking to strangers makes me nervous. He also send a comment about how his ex, at the time when they were dating, had "perfect big boobs", which makes me insecure since mine are much more on the smaller side.
This is me being insecure. I am aware of that, fully. I want to fix it. I am in queue for therapy, but for now I’m doing my best with what I can do. It is absolutely exhausting, the way everything makes me second guess myself. I've never felt as insecure as I do now. I've considered breaking up multiple times, even though I love him and really can see myself having a family with him in the future, just because it is so draining and I feel much more insecure now than I ever did before we were dating. The little insecurity that I do show him willingly, he will go on to reassure me a ton.. he's very loving, supportive and reassuring that he loves me for how I am, he's called me more attractive, trustworthy, more compatible, etc, that any girl he had a relationship with before, so it's not as if he is trying to make me insecure or anything. It's all in my head. How do I improve from this? ANY advice appreciated x
TL;DR: I'm struggling with insecurities in my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 months. I find myself comparing myself to his exes and feeling inadequate. I've discovered past messages about his ex-FWB and ex-girlfriend that exacerbate my anxiety, from before we were dating. Including him calling his ex-FWB hot, sharing the nudes she sent him, sharing pictures he took while they were having sex (with her consent). It makes me extremely insecure and worried that he prefers her, or is thinkig about her when we do stuff.
Also about his ex, about how he thinks she's so amazing for being sociable and outgoing and I am the completely opposite. I worry that he wishes I was more like her.. I feel jealous and uncomfortable with the fact that he has liked his ex-FWB provocative IG pics last summer and I worry he will start liking her pictures again this summer when she starts to wear less clothing again, despite them seemingly not having been in contact since she ghosted him. I'm aware of my insecurities and seeking therapy, but it's not readily available. My boyfriend is supportive, but I fear my insecurities may damage our relationship. How do I repair my insecurities?
2024.05.18 19:57 Artistic_Yard_6894 AITAH for leaving my boyfriend at a time he needs me
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. I found out that he was messaging the girls I told him to stay away from even before we got into a relationship. A year ago I was extremely sick and had to stay home from school for a week and I found out that my boyfriend had invited the girl out to get some coffee (I accidentally read a text her friend sent to my boyfriend saying something related to it) When I confronted my bf he swore that one of his friends (male) went along with them and that he wasn't alone with her. He explained that he invited her because he saw her standing alone and felt bad about it and hid it from me because I was already sick and it would make me feel worse. I was pissed at him and we had a huge argument and when I didn't forgive him he pretended that he got into an accident (it was very believable) and I felt guilty, had multiple breakdowns blaming myself and i forgave him.. yes I was pissed that he lied later when i found out but I was just so relieved that he was alright and I let it go.
We had many fights about them even after this incident and the day came when I finally told him that he either blocks them or he breaks up with me. He told me that he'd block them and not a month later I saw that he still followed one of the girls. He gave me the excuse that he unfollowed one of them and must've forgotten the other one. I was suspicious but I just let it slide.
7 months ago the girls called me, let's call them Abby and Brooke.. they showed me that my bf still messaged them on a different platform and revealed so many things to me. The messages were disgusting. He kept asking Brooke to go out with him because he wanted to gift her something for her birthday and she wanted other people to accompany them but he kept refusing, asking her to keep it a secret. Abby revealed the truth about the coffee "date" that it was JUST him, not accompanied by his friend and even though she had to leave, he kept insisting that the place was nearby and that he'd make sure she got home safe. They grabbed a coffee, she held his hand there knowing that he had a girlfriend for a snap and he didn't hesitate or resist in the slightest. He even offered for them to share the same straw for their drink but she refused (or atleast that's what she said). He took me there a month later, he kissed me there, he told me that he loved me in the same place where he went out and cheated on me. And it wasn't a one time thing, they hung out multiple times (sometimes with friends, some times without.. sometimes he told me about it and others he didn't). Now Brooke and Abby were the worst people i could've found out from. Instead of saying it sympathetically, they made sure to brag about it in a way that my heart shattered. I felt so naive for trusting him.
We had an argument after that and I demanded the entire truth from him. He confirmed their story and told me about this other girl, let's call her Denise. (Denise made it very clear that she was into my bf and ofc I asked him to maintain his distance from her). He assured me that nothing happened between them after she indirectly confessed her feelings to him. I was suspicious and called up a mutual friend (very trustworthy source) and found out that Denise and him text on IG and he waited for her outside school and even walked her to the metro (now this would not have made me mad if he didn't lie to me 2 mins after i confronted him about lying to me about something else)
I tried breaking up with him but for a week every hour he called me, his sad voice broke my heart (ik i should've blocked him but I loved him so much i couldn't bear to see him suffer) and I finally gave in and we got back together and called it a "second relationship".
He was an angel in the second relationship, stopped talking to any girl I asked him not to talk to, we had arguments but he always ended up on my side at the end.. But i just couldn't forget everything he did. I felt so insecure i stopped going to school all together so i could avoid Abby and Brooke. i cried every single day and I just couldn't take it. A month later i tried to break up with him again, he refused to eat till I talked to him, he called me every few mins till I was once again full of guilt of even trying to leave him.
After that I told myself that I wouldnt find someone who actually cares about me so much that he can't stay without me
Now 7 months later (we see each other once in a month now, school is over) we're going to be a full time LDR for college and i thought i could trust him again but I just can't. Ik it's best for us to break up and tried to do it yesterday but he threatened to kill himself if left him. I've never felt so manipulated my entire life. My plan was to not utter a word about the breakup until all his important exams were done so that I don't ruin his future but he noticed how distant I was being and called my out on it. Now I feel that I've ruined his life.. he still won't let go of me and i cannot abandon him right now when he needs me most (he's fallen into depression in the past month)
Ik i should've broken up with him 7 months ago when the incident actually happened and i tried so so hard but his words just had such an effect on me.. Ik i cant get into a 5 year+ long distance relationship with a man I don't trust and it's best to break up but I just keep feeling like I'm ruining his life.. i care for him so deeply I just want to see him succeed. Everytime I hear him cry it feels like my heart is shattered into a million pieces and it's all my fault for doing this to him
Edit: He keeps telling me that he doesn't deserve a heartbreak so bad for something he did so long ago
He's truly in a bad place rn what do I do?
submitted by Artistic_Yard_6894 to AITAH [link] [comments]
We had many fights about them even after this incident and the day came when I finally told him that he either blocks them or he breaks up with me. He told me that he'd block them and not a month later I saw that he still followed one of the girls. He gave me the excuse that he unfollowed one of them and must've forgotten the other one. I was suspicious but I just let it slide.
7 months ago the girls called me, let's call them Abby and Brooke.. they showed me that my bf still messaged them on a different platform and revealed so many things to me. The messages were disgusting. He kept asking Brooke to go out with him because he wanted to gift her something for her birthday and she wanted other people to accompany them but he kept refusing, asking her to keep it a secret. Abby revealed the truth about the coffee "date" that it was JUST him, not accompanied by his friend and even though she had to leave, he kept insisting that the place was nearby and that he'd make sure she got home safe. They grabbed a coffee, she held his hand there knowing that he had a girlfriend for a snap and he didn't hesitate or resist in the slightest. He even offered for them to share the same straw for their drink but she refused (or atleast that's what she said). He took me there a month later, he kissed me there, he told me that he loved me in the same place where he went out and cheated on me. And it wasn't a one time thing, they hung out multiple times (sometimes with friends, some times without.. sometimes he told me about it and others he didn't). Now Brooke and Abby were the worst people i could've found out from. Instead of saying it sympathetically, they made sure to brag about it in a way that my heart shattered. I felt so naive for trusting him.
We had an argument after that and I demanded the entire truth from him. He confirmed their story and told me about this other girl, let's call her Denise. (Denise made it very clear that she was into my bf and ofc I asked him to maintain his distance from her). He assured me that nothing happened between them after she indirectly confessed her feelings to him. I was suspicious and called up a mutual friend (very trustworthy source) and found out that Denise and him text on IG and he waited for her outside school and even walked her to the metro (now this would not have made me mad if he didn't lie to me 2 mins after i confronted him about lying to me about something else)
I tried breaking up with him but for a week every hour he called me, his sad voice broke my heart (ik i should've blocked him but I loved him so much i couldn't bear to see him suffer) and I finally gave in and we got back together and called it a "second relationship".
He was an angel in the second relationship, stopped talking to any girl I asked him not to talk to, we had arguments but he always ended up on my side at the end.. But i just couldn't forget everything he did. I felt so insecure i stopped going to school all together so i could avoid Abby and Brooke. i cried every single day and I just couldn't take it. A month later i tried to break up with him again, he refused to eat till I talked to him, he called me every few mins till I was once again full of guilt of even trying to leave him.
After that I told myself that I wouldnt find someone who actually cares about me so much that he can't stay without me
Now 7 months later (we see each other once in a month now, school is over) we're going to be a full time LDR for college and i thought i could trust him again but I just can't. Ik it's best for us to break up and tried to do it yesterday but he threatened to kill himself if left him. I've never felt so manipulated my entire life. My plan was to not utter a word about the breakup until all his important exams were done so that I don't ruin his future but he noticed how distant I was being and called my out on it. Now I feel that I've ruined his life.. he still won't let go of me and i cannot abandon him right now when he needs me most (he's fallen into depression in the past month)
Ik i should've broken up with him 7 months ago when the incident actually happened and i tried so so hard but his words just had such an effect on me.. Ik i cant get into a 5 year+ long distance relationship with a man I don't trust and it's best to break up but I just keep feeling like I'm ruining his life.. i care for him so deeply I just want to see him succeed. Everytime I hear him cry it feels like my heart is shattered into a million pieces and it's all my fault for doing this to him
Edit: He keeps telling me that he doesn't deserve a heartbreak so bad for something he did so long ago
He's truly in a bad place rn what do I do?
2024.05.18 19:56 LongjumpingEarth1122 Pregnant
I (28F) am pregnant, I was in a long relationship with my boyfriend of 7years (37M) and we broke up due to me finding text messages that were sexual in nature with another person. While we were broken up I slept with someone and now I’m scared of who the father may be. I would like to continue the pregnancy, my question is has anyone ever done a NON INVASIVE PATERNITY TEST WHILE PREGNANT? If so how did it go and was it accurate? Also how much did it cost? And where did you go? Please Help 😭
submitted by LongjumpingEarth1122 to pregnant [link] [comments]
2024.05.18 19:52 ThrowRASweetLetter Has anyone ever successfully overcome retroactive jealousy, and if so, how ?
Hi,
Have you heard Olivia Rodrigo's song "Obsessed"? The lyrics perfectly capture everything I feel about this jealousy—I relate to them completely.
I'm in a relationship with a man who is everything I've ever dreamed of, both mentally and physically. He is 100% my type. We respect each other, and there are no issues between us. We've been together for almost two years.
The problem, in fact, is me. Since we got together, I can't stop thinking about his exes. I’m not usually a jealous person, but I am very jealous of his past relationships. I constantly compare myself to his exes, especially this girl he was with. She is very pretty, takes beautiful pictures, seems to have a great personality, and my boyfriend was very much in love with her.
I found her Instagram just from knowing her name and started obsessively stalking her social media (Instagram/Twitter). I saw that she talked a bit about him on Twitter, which only made things worse. I even started doing my makeup and hair like hers and taking similar pictures. I think I want to be like her so my boyfriend loves me more (if that makes sense?). I cry a lot when I think about the fact that he used to love her, cuddle her, and probably tell her the same things he tells me now. Additionally, I don't know how she found out, but she realized I was stalking her (I took extreme precautions) and sent me a message. I have never replied.
I have been in relationships before, but I've never felt this way. This is the first time I've experienced such intense jealousy. I don't know if it's important to mention, but I've always been the first girlfriend of my exes, so I was sure to be "the first" in everything. Additionally, I have never had a sexual relationship with my exes; I am still a virgin, while my current boyfriend is not. This makes me feel like I will never be his first in something.
Please don't tell me to "talk to him." I already did; I told him everything. He was very understanding and sad about it, but nothing changed for me. I really want to change because this is affecting our relationship. Please, don't tell me I am weird or anything like that.
Has anyone ever successfully overcome retroactive jealousy, and if so, how?
Thank you.
tl;dr: In summary, I'm deeply jealous of my boyfriend's exes, especially one girl he was very in love with. I obsessively compare myself to her, even imitating her style. This jealousy is affecting our relationship, despite talking to my boyfriend about it. I've never felt this way before, and I'm unsure how to overcome it.
submitted by ThrowRASweetLetter to dating [link] [comments]
Have you heard Olivia Rodrigo's song "Obsessed"? The lyrics perfectly capture everything I feel about this jealousy—I relate to them completely.
I'm in a relationship with a man who is everything I've ever dreamed of, both mentally and physically. He is 100% my type. We respect each other, and there are no issues between us. We've been together for almost two years.
The problem, in fact, is me. Since we got together, I can't stop thinking about his exes. I’m not usually a jealous person, but I am very jealous of his past relationships. I constantly compare myself to his exes, especially this girl he was with. She is very pretty, takes beautiful pictures, seems to have a great personality, and my boyfriend was very much in love with her.
I found her Instagram just from knowing her name and started obsessively stalking her social media (Instagram/Twitter). I saw that she talked a bit about him on Twitter, which only made things worse. I even started doing my makeup and hair like hers and taking similar pictures. I think I want to be like her so my boyfriend loves me more (if that makes sense?). I cry a lot when I think about the fact that he used to love her, cuddle her, and probably tell her the same things he tells me now. Additionally, I don't know how she found out, but she realized I was stalking her (I took extreme precautions) and sent me a message. I have never replied.
I have been in relationships before, but I've never felt this way. This is the first time I've experienced such intense jealousy. I don't know if it's important to mention, but I've always been the first girlfriend of my exes, so I was sure to be "the first" in everything. Additionally, I have never had a sexual relationship with my exes; I am still a virgin, while my current boyfriend is not. This makes me feel like I will never be his first in something.
Please don't tell me to "talk to him." I already did; I told him everything. He was very understanding and sad about it, but nothing changed for me. I really want to change because this is affecting our relationship. Please, don't tell me I am weird or anything like that.
Has anyone ever successfully overcome retroactive jealousy, and if so, how?
Thank you.
tl;dr: In summary, I'm deeply jealous of my boyfriend's exes, especially one girl he was very in love with. I obsessively compare myself to her, even imitating her style. This jealousy is affecting our relationship, despite talking to my boyfriend about it. I've never felt this way before, and I'm unsure how to overcome it.
2024.05.18 19:50 ThrowRASweetLetter Has anyone ever successfully overcome retroactive jealousy, and if so, how ? (21/F - 23/M).
Hi,
Have you heard Olivia Rodrigo's song "Obsessed"? The lyrics perfectly capture everything I feel about this jealousy—I relate to them completely.
I am in a relationship with a man who is everything I've ever dreamed of, both mentally and physically. He is 100% my type. We respect each other, and there are no issues between us. We've been together for almost two years.
The problem, in fact, is me. Since we got together, I can't stop thinking about his exes. I’m not usually a jealous person, but I am very jealous of his past relationships. I constantly compare myself to his exes, especially thus girl he was with. She is very pretty, takes beautiful pictures, seems to have a great personality, and my boyfriend was very much in love with her.
I found her Instagram just from knowing her name and started obsessively stalking her social media (Instagram/Twitter). I saw that she talked a bit about him on Twitter, which only made things worse. I even started doing my makeup and hair like hers and taking similar pictures. I think I want to be like her so my boyfriend loves me more (if that makes sense?). I cry a lot when I think about the fact that he used to love her, cuddle her, and probably tell her the same things he tells me now. Additionally, I don't know how she found out, but she realized I was stalking her (I took extreme precautions) and sent me a message. I have never replied.
I have been in relationships before, but I've never felt this way. This is the first time I've experienced such intense jealousy. I don't know if it's important to mention, but I've always been the first girlfriend of my exes, so I was sure to be "the first" in everything. Additionally, I have never had a sexual relationship with my exes; I am still a virgin, while my current boyfriend is not. This makes me feel like I will never be his first in something.
Please don't tell me to "talk to him." I already did; I told him everything. He was very understanding and sad about it, but nothing changed for me. I really want to change because this is affecting our relationship. Please, don't tell me I am weird or anything like that.
Has anyone ever successfully overcome retroactive jealousy, and if so, how?
Thank you.
tl;dr : In summary, I'm deeply jealous of my boyfriend's exes, especially one girl he was very in love with. I obsessively compare myself to her, even imitating her style. This jealousy is affecting our relationship, despite talking to my boyfriend about it. I've never felt this way before, and I'm unsure how to overcome it.
submitted by ThrowRASweetLetter to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Have you heard Olivia Rodrigo's song "Obsessed"? The lyrics perfectly capture everything I feel about this jealousy—I relate to them completely.
I am in a relationship with a man who is everything I've ever dreamed of, both mentally and physically. He is 100% my type. We respect each other, and there are no issues between us. We've been together for almost two years.
The problem, in fact, is me. Since we got together, I can't stop thinking about his exes. I’m not usually a jealous person, but I am very jealous of his past relationships. I constantly compare myself to his exes, especially thus girl he was with. She is very pretty, takes beautiful pictures, seems to have a great personality, and my boyfriend was very much in love with her.
I found her Instagram just from knowing her name and started obsessively stalking her social media (Instagram/Twitter). I saw that she talked a bit about him on Twitter, which only made things worse. I even started doing my makeup and hair like hers and taking similar pictures. I think I want to be like her so my boyfriend loves me more (if that makes sense?). I cry a lot when I think about the fact that he used to love her, cuddle her, and probably tell her the same things he tells me now. Additionally, I don't know how she found out, but she realized I was stalking her (I took extreme precautions) and sent me a message. I have never replied.
I have been in relationships before, but I've never felt this way. This is the first time I've experienced such intense jealousy. I don't know if it's important to mention, but I've always been the first girlfriend of my exes, so I was sure to be "the first" in everything. Additionally, I have never had a sexual relationship with my exes; I am still a virgin, while my current boyfriend is not. This makes me feel like I will never be his first in something.
Please don't tell me to "talk to him." I already did; I told him everything. He was very understanding and sad about it, but nothing changed for me. I really want to change because this is affecting our relationship. Please, don't tell me I am weird or anything like that.
Has anyone ever successfully overcome retroactive jealousy, and if so, how?
Thank you.
tl;dr : In summary, I'm deeply jealous of my boyfriend's exes, especially one girl he was very in love with. I obsessively compare myself to her, even imitating her style. This jealousy is affecting our relationship, despite talking to my boyfriend about it. I've never felt this way before, and I'm unsure how to overcome it.
2024.05.18 19:50 lmaoimdumb1 What should I(15f) get my boyfriend (15m) for our one year anniversary?
Our one year anniversary is coming up and I dont kmow what to give him. I payed one of my friends to make a white little teddy bear for him because him and I usually joke about eachothers skin tones. Him being Mexican native and me being Spanish which we like to make jokes about. I made him a love letter and got that teddy bear for him but I want more for him. He loves Prussian Blue and his favorite artists are kendrick lamar and kanye. He really likes rap and he recently cut his long hair off to a slick back hairstyle. I just want our one year anniversary to be amazing for him and to be memorable. I can't get him anything expensive because I don't have the money to do so but anything with good meaning and love will be greatly appreciated. Our one year anniversary is going to be on June 10.
TLDR: MY boyfriend's interests and advice/ recommendations on what to get him for our anniversary
submitted by lmaoimdumb1 to teenrelationships [link] [comments]
TLDR: MY boyfriend's interests and advice/ recommendations on what to get him for our anniversary
2024.05.18 19:48 aplusanxiousstudent 25f deciding whether to give letter to situationship 25m, or to leave it be?
Hi!
I was in a situationship for a little over 5 months with someone I previously dated. I thought about them often when I was in the relationship I was in between dating them the first time when we were 19-20 and the most recent chapter of time we had together.
When we were younger, we dated for about 2 years and the relationship ended due to hurt feelings on my end because of him being unsure about his feelings compared to how sure I felt in mine, which led to a short, painful period of separation. By the time he realized/decided that he wanted the relationship to continue, I felt myself slowly detaching. I ended up breaking up with him and very quickly began dating someone new. I am not proud of this, and absolutely should have been more communicative about my emotions back then instead of slowly pulling away.
A little over a year ago, I reached out drunkenly after not speaking for almost five years and we began to build a friendship that, after the end of my relationship, quickly evolved into more. We were essentially in a relationship without the label, but with most of the same commitments (frequent texting, sleeping together, etc.). The person in question and I discussed the end of the relationship at length, and I feel like we had worked through many of the emotions and where we could have been better communicators when we were younger, so these sorts of conversations/topics were not off the table.
The situationship ended relatively abruptly, with a late-night text message about a week ago. I do not blame him at all, as I know I feel my emotions very deeply and quickly (similar to all those years ago) and am not good at/have very little experience with casual dating. I entered into the situationship with the hope that it would become more, but that didn't fit with what he needs in his life right now, which I can completely understand and respect. For example, he might want to leave the city where we both currently live to move back to the country where he was born, and he cited enjoying having freedom at this point in his life, which would not be compatible with having a relationship with me.
On the phone after the text message, I told him I would not try to change his mind and I meant it, but I also said things I didn't mean, such as not believing we could have a friendship again. I know it's only been a week, but in that time I've had a lot of time to reflect and do believe that it would be possible for us to have a friendship in time. I do genuinely love this person, and value the role they play/played in my life, even when we were just friends.
I wrote him a letter the day after I received the message and have edited it several times since. The letter is in no way meant to make him change his mind, make him feel guilty, or anything like that. It really is just an opportunity for me to say my piece by thanking him for the time we had together and express that despite what I'd said on the phone, the door is open for a friendship later on. We have to exchange our items with each other next week, and I would put it in the bag with his clothes.
I have only talked to my sister and one friend (a friend from high school who knows me and my heart well) about this, who both think that the letter is a bad idea and that it will leave the door open for me to feel more hurt. I can kind of see where they are coming from, but I also feel like a) I will never know if he reads the letter, so this is less about a desired outcome and more about the cartharsis of knowing that I said/wrote/shared my thoughts, and b) I know nothing will change and that he doesn't want to be with me, so I don't know what the harm is.
HOWEVER, I do want other people's opinions and do not want to share this with many people in my life because it is a little embarrassing.
TLDR: Is there harm in sharing a letter with your ex-boyfriend turned friend turned situationship?
submitted by aplusanxiousstudent to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I was in a situationship for a little over 5 months with someone I previously dated. I thought about them often when I was in the relationship I was in between dating them the first time when we were 19-20 and the most recent chapter of time we had together.
When we were younger, we dated for about 2 years and the relationship ended due to hurt feelings on my end because of him being unsure about his feelings compared to how sure I felt in mine, which led to a short, painful period of separation. By the time he realized/decided that he wanted the relationship to continue, I felt myself slowly detaching. I ended up breaking up with him and very quickly began dating someone new. I am not proud of this, and absolutely should have been more communicative about my emotions back then instead of slowly pulling away.
A little over a year ago, I reached out drunkenly after not speaking for almost five years and we began to build a friendship that, after the end of my relationship, quickly evolved into more. We were essentially in a relationship without the label, but with most of the same commitments (frequent texting, sleeping together, etc.). The person in question and I discussed the end of the relationship at length, and I feel like we had worked through many of the emotions and where we could have been better communicators when we were younger, so these sorts of conversations/topics were not off the table.
The situationship ended relatively abruptly, with a late-night text message about a week ago. I do not blame him at all, as I know I feel my emotions very deeply and quickly (similar to all those years ago) and am not good at/have very little experience with casual dating. I entered into the situationship with the hope that it would become more, but that didn't fit with what he needs in his life right now, which I can completely understand and respect. For example, he might want to leave the city where we both currently live to move back to the country where he was born, and he cited enjoying having freedom at this point in his life, which would not be compatible with having a relationship with me.
On the phone after the text message, I told him I would not try to change his mind and I meant it, but I also said things I didn't mean, such as not believing we could have a friendship again. I know it's only been a week, but in that time I've had a lot of time to reflect and do believe that it would be possible for us to have a friendship in time. I do genuinely love this person, and value the role they play/played in my life, even when we were just friends.
I wrote him a letter the day after I received the message and have edited it several times since. The letter is in no way meant to make him change his mind, make him feel guilty, or anything like that. It really is just an opportunity for me to say my piece by thanking him for the time we had together and express that despite what I'd said on the phone, the door is open for a friendship later on. We have to exchange our items with each other next week, and I would put it in the bag with his clothes.
I have only talked to my sister and one friend (a friend from high school who knows me and my heart well) about this, who both think that the letter is a bad idea and that it will leave the door open for me to feel more hurt. I can kind of see where they are coming from, but I also feel like a) I will never know if he reads the letter, so this is less about a desired outcome and more about the cartharsis of knowing that I said/wrote/shared my thoughts, and b) I know nothing will change and that he doesn't want to be with me, so I don't know what the harm is.
HOWEVER, I do want other people's opinions and do not want to share this with many people in my life because it is a little embarrassing.
TLDR: Is there harm in sharing a letter with your ex-boyfriend turned friend turned situationship?