​
https://preview.redd.it/jqojxg9vj34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=adb3251dedc7300ae527b1724b3846532999e715
Welcome to our comprehensive review article featuring the latest and greatest in A2 Handguards. In this roundup, we will be taking a closer look at some of the top products on the market and sharing our insights on their features, performance, and overall value. Join us as we explore the world of A2 Handguards and help you make an informed decision on which one suits you best.

The Top 18 Best A2 Handguard

1. Durable AR-15 Atlas S-One Handguard for Enhanced Performance - Experience optimal strength and stability with the Aero Precision Atlas S-One Handguard, featuring Aero's Taper Lock Attachment System in a sleek, lightweight design for your AR-15 setup.
2. Midwest Night Fighter M-lok, Fits AR-15, Black Handguard - Midwest Industries' Night Fighter M-lok Handguard provides a sleek and durable design for your AR15, with a black finish and MI-NF10 compatibility.
3. Midwest Night Fighter 9.25" Handguard for AR Rifles - Experience ultimate precision with the Midwest Industries Night Fighter 9.25" Handguard, meticulously designed for AR rifles and backed by its exceptional quality and reliability.
4. Premium Carbine AR-15 MLOK Rail System with Anti-Rotation Technology - Enhance your precision and durability with Mission First Tactical's MFT Extreme Duty 10" MLOK Carbine Rail System, featuring an anti-rotation technology, IR anti-reflective coating, ultra streamlined appearance, and a steel non-timing barrel nut.
5. Strike MLOK Rail 13.5 FDE Handguard - Experience unparalleled durability and adaptability with the Strike Industries Strike MLOK Rail 13.5 FDE handguard, designed for avid shooters of all skill levels.
6. Blackhawk Handguard Fix 15" Anodized Finish - Experience the perfect match with the Q QSERT Handguard - The Fix 15", seamlessly combining top-notch compatibility and innovation for your ultimate handgun enhancement.
7. Stylish Blackhawk Handguard for Motorcycle Protection - Touratech DEFENSA Handguards offer robust protection and comfort for your bike's levers in a lightweight, durable design, featuring a modern matte finish and various customization options.
8. Samson SXT 9" M-LOK Precision Handguard - Experience the sleek and durable design of Samson SXT 9" M-LOK Handguard, now in black, perfect for enhancing your firearm's performance.
9. Durable Enduro Handguard Kit - Polisport Touquet (Green) - Protect your ride with Polisport Touquet Handguard Kit, featuring advanced 'Bright Durable Polypropylene' technology for unbeatable color and durability, tailored specifically for Enduro races.
10. UFO Handguard Black - High-Quality and Durable Off-Road Plastic Protector - UFO Ho03638-001 Handguard Black: High-quality, authentic replica handguard in black, offering durability, Italian craftsmanship, and easy installation.
11. Universal Handguard for Motocross and ATV Protection - JFG Racing Motorcycle Aluminum Hand Guards provide ultimate hand protection, reduce fatigue, and fit all handlebars.
12. UTG Pro Model AR-15 Super Slim A2 Handguard - Lightweight & Slim Tubular Profile - Experience superior handling with the UTG Pro Model 4/15 Car Length Super Slim Drop-in Handguard, featuring a custom fit for AR15s, lightweight construction, and a continuous mounting platform.
13. MFT EXT Duty Free Flt RL MLOK AR-15 A2 Handguard - 18 Inches - Experience the top-rated MFT EXT Duty Free Flt RL MLOK for your AR-15 carbine, featuring a durable black finish and A2 handguard, backed by a solid 5.0 rating and two positive reviews.
14. Mil-Spec A2 Handguard for Optimal Stability and Durability - The Midwest Industries G2 Drop-In Handguard, with its lightweight yet sturdy design, features four anti-rotation QD sockets for push-button swivels, making it the perfect choice for mounting scopes and accessories on your 1913 mil-spec firearms.
15. Midwest Forearm 2-Piece Drop-In Gen2 Handguard - Durable and lightweight, the Midwest Industries Gen2 Two Piece Drop-In Mid-Length Handguard is a reliable choice for any gun, featuring four anti-rotation QD sockets and high quality 1913 mil-spec rails.
16. AR-15 Foundation Handguard for Rigid Accessory Mounting - Bowden Tactical's J23007 Foundation Handguard offers a 1.3-inch I.D., MAGPUL-compatible MLok slots, and a robust 4140 steel barrel nut for exceptional durability and accessory compatibility in your AR10 & AR15 builds.
17. The Fix 11" Anodized A2 Handguard - Upgrade your weapon with the sleek and durable Q QSERT Handguard The Fix, perfect for A2 Handguards and featuring The Fix's innovative Q SERT mounting solution.
18. Probend A2 Handguard Bar Pack - Enduro-Style Protection - Experience unparalleled protection and comfort with the high-quality, injection-molded Cycra Probend handguards, featuring integrated composite bumpers and CNC-machined 6061 billet aluminum Probend bars.

As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.

Reviews

🔗Durable AR-15 Atlas S-One Handguard for Enhanced Performance

​
https://preview.redd.it/azhjqowvj34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=01f9bed427981c850e1790e5b1d730ebd470ec85
I recently gave the Aero AR15 Atlas S-One a spin, and let me tell you, it didn't disappoint. The slim profile of this handguard makes it a great choice for those who prioritize size and weight. It packs a punch when it comes to strength and stability thanks to Aero's durable Atlas attachment system.
And let me tell you, the Aero Taper Lock Attachment System (ATLAS) is both functional and visually stunning. The mirrored tapered locking nuts evenly distribute the clamping pressure, and the ratcheting detent makes the design secure while providing a positive registration during installation. Oh, and those hardware mounting parts? .
They're included, which makes life all the more convenient. Overall, it's a winner in the looks department and certainly does its job.

🔗Midwest Night Fighter M-lok, Fits AR-15, Black Handguard

​
https://preview.redd.it/4ehmey9wj34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=942653f3fb3f1995620b8ce8dac23768e2f753ce
The Midwest Industries Night Fighter handguard is a sleek and durable accessory for your firearm. I've been using it for a few months now, and it definitely fits the bill. This handguard adds an extra layer of grip, making my firearm even more comfortable to handle in different environments. The black finish not only looks striking but also provides protection against wear and tear.
However, I did face some minor issues recently, like the occasional loosening of the attachments after continuous use. But overall, this product has proven to be quite reliable. Using it with my AR-15 felt smooth and seamless, with no discomfort or hindrance in my shooting experience. For someone who's looking for a tactical and handy attachment, this M-lok handguard is worth considering.

🔗Midwest Night Fighter 9.25" Handguard for AR Rifles

​
https://preview.redd.it/s3hgn3lwj34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36448b1758e072476d25fc8ce7e8e7a7f3994c22
As a seasoned shooter, I can hardly imagine finding a better handguard for my AR rifle than the Midwest Night Fighter 9.25". This sturdy product not only adds a striking aesthetics but it also serves the essential purpose of keeping my AR rifle safe and secure, especially during nighttime operations.
I particularly appreciate its durability, attributed to its high-quality construction featuring M-lok technology. The design is thought well, ensuring a perfect fit and impeccable balance for my AR rifle. However, I must admit, it weighs a bit more than anticipated, which makes handling slightly challenging at times.
One negative experience I had was when I tried to assemble it all by myself and struggled a bit in the beginning. However, once I got the hang of it, it started to make sense.
Overall, while it may not be the lightest tool in the shed, the Midwest Night Fighter 9.25" provides a secure hold to my AR rifle. I would recommend it to someone with a knack for tactical rifle gear.

🔗Premium Carbine AR-15 MLOK Rail System with Anti-Rotation Technology

​
https://preview.redd.it/jsllru3xj34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c54bb1f28466754d468d5d85016ad182b3792aff
As someone who's had the chance to use the Mission First Tactical Extreme Duty Carbine Rail System, I must say - it's a game-changer for AR-15 enthusiasts. This 7-sided M-LOK rail system is sleek and stylish, with an anti-rotation tech that makes it incredibly dependable.
The anti-reflective coating is a thoughtful feature, reducing glares and reflections that could be a nuisance in various lighting conditions. The steel non-timing barrel nut adds durability to the mix, and the ultra-streamlined appearance just seals the deal.
Of course, like any product out there, it's not perfect. The only downside I noticed was the need for some minor adjustments during assembly, which might be a bit of a hassle for first-time users. But overall, this MFT Extreme Duty Carbine Rail System is a reliable and stylish addition to any AR-15 setup.

🔗Strike MLOK Rail 13.5 FDE Handguard

​
https://preview.redd.it/sdsgk0fxj34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80402a01780bfc6b08baab6b83c6a16e80682529
Just recently, I had the chance to give the Strike MLOK Rail 13.5 FDE a try, and let me tell you, it was quite the experience. This handguard, crafted by the skilled team at Strike Industries, is designed to stand the test of time, thanks to its top-notch components.
During my time with the rail, I found myself impressed by the sturdiness and precision it offered. The MLOK system was particularly noteworthy, providing a secure and streamlined connection to my firearm. On the downside, I did notice that, despite its durability, the rail could be heavier than some other options on the market.
Overall, the Strike MLOK Rail 13.5 FDE proved to be a reliable addition to my arsenal. Its robust construction and user-friendly design make it a solid choice for shooters of all skill levels.

🔗Blackhawk Handguard Fix 15" Anodized Finish

​
https://preview.redd.it/bt825k0yj34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24e652521dd6b08f540bb92db4938673fdbb1c99
As I delved into using the Q SERT Handguard The Fix 15", I was impressed by how seamlessly it compatible with the Fix system made by the same brand. The sleek black anodized finish perfectly matched my firearm's aesthetic, making it a stylish addition that blended in well.
However, I did encounter a few minor hiccups during the attachment process. It wasn't as straightforward as I had hoped, which resulted in some frustration at first. On the bright side, the sturdy construction of the handguard provided a strong grip, offering a great improvement to my firearm's stability.
In conclusion, the Q SERT Handguard The Fix 15" proved to be an adequate solution for someone looking to upgrade their grip while maintaining their firearm's elegant appearance. With time and patience, it could be a great addition to your arsenal, but don't expect it to be a walk in the park.

🔗Stylish Blackhawk Handguard for Motorcycle Protection

​
https://preview.redd.it/pik3ny6yj34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48d388a0998929725ce11c93275a386629df056f
I recently tried the Touratech Defensa Silver Handguard Bars for my KTM/Husqvarna. This handguard gave me a sense of security on my rides, providing durable protection for both my levers and myself. The high-strength aircraft-grade aluminum exoskeleton structure was forged for maximum impact resistance, making it a reliable choice. Plus, the sleek, textured matte finish complemented the modern angular design, giving the bars a stylish touch.
On the other hand, I found that the plastic shields could be more securely attached. Sometimes they would slide out of place, which was inconvenient during my rides. However, the optional integrated plastic shield structure, known as Defensa Expedition, did provide added protection and comfort. This feature was definitely a highlight, as it shielded me from rain and cold air on cooler rides.
Overall, the Touratech Defensa Silver Handguard Bars provided me with a balance of protection and style, making them a solid choice for adventure motorcyclists.

🔗Samson SXT 9" M-LOK Precision Handguard

​
https://preview.redd.it/mbygiqnyj34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a25c93e0233217ebe6fe300d1bf083a71a30e491
The Samson SXT 9" M-LOK handguard is a sleek and sturdy addition to any firearm. It seamlessly attaches to the gun's barrel, thanks to the M-LOK system, and gives the gun a modern touch. The black finish complements any gun it's mounted on, giving it a professional and tactical look.
One of the things that really stood out to me during my experience with this product was its ability to stay secure even when facing recoil. I've had other handguards slip or loosen during firing, but not this one. It just stays put, firmly attached to the gun.
On the downside, I did notice that it's not as lightweight as some other options out there. Its sturdiness comes at a cost, I guess you could say. But overall, I think it's a small price to pay for the added security and durability it provides.
In summary, if you're looking for a reliable and sturdy handguard that can withstand a good amount of wear and tear, the Samson SXT 9" M-LOK is definitely worth considering. It may not be the lightest option on the market, but its solid construction and M-LOK system make it a great choice for those who value security and stability.

🔗Durable Enduro Handguard Kit - Polisport Touquet (Green)

​
https://preview.redd.it/8lrxwn6zj34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e0600e7354dd2fc402e7418b89efa55bef440e9
The Polisport Touquet Handguard Kit, a Green gem designed for motocross enthusiasts, has become a staple for those seeking tough and reliable protection. Handcrafted with their patented Bright Durable Polypropylene technology, this bad boy boasts impressive durability, color retention, and UV ray resistance. The bolt holes are perfectly pre-drilled for the ultimate fit. The plastic pieces feature a high gloss finish and an on-target color palette that truly captures the soul of the original part.
However, installation isn't quite a walk in the park. You'll need to get crafty with drilling accelerator tubes and ensuring a snug fit that won't interfere with your controls. Radial master cylinders and ASV clutches may struggle with the tight fit, raising concerns for potential pinching and seizing. In the end, though, this protective handguard excels in offering robust protection against those inevitable spills, even if it takes some elbow grease to make it work.

🔗UFO Handguard Black - High-Quality and Durable Off-Road Plastic Protector

​
https://preview.redd.it/cgaemxlzj34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=106c5764fb5422927f3bd4b10320221251f00042
I recently had the chance to try out the UFO Handguard, and let me tell you, it exceeded my expectations. First of all, I was drawn to its original factory shape, which matched the look of the genuine model perfectly. It blends seamlessly with the rest of my gun setup.
The durability of this handguard was a pleasant surprise. I took it for a spin off-road, and it held up like a charm. UFO's use of high-quality plastics produced in Italy definitely paid off.
Another thing I appreciated was the wide range of colors available. While I opted for the classic black, I've seen photos of others in vibrant hues that really make their guns stand out.
The installation process was a breeze, too. The plastics are drilled ready for easy mounting, and the flex and lightweight design made it feel incredibly comfortable while in use. With the 100% Made in Italy guarantee since 1977, I had no doubts about the longevity and performance of this handguard.
A quick note though: the images provided are more of a suggestion rather than a perfect representation of the actual product. But overall, my experience with the UFO Handguard has been top-notch. Highly recommended for anyone looking to upgrade their gun setup.

🔗Universal Handguard for Motocross and ATV Protection

​
https://preview.redd.it/pe9gyy80k34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2aa81d3ac9ae6ed67b3df07d24ec212a79a8792a
I had the opportunity to try out these JFG Racing Motorcycle Universal Handguards a couple of weeks ago, and I must say, they've been a game-changer for me. Riding off-road ATVs always comes with its fair share of hazards, and these handguards have been a lifesaver in protecting my hands from brush, rocks, mud, and cold wind.
The combination of PP Plastic and Aluminum Alloy used in making these handguards brings a robustness that I've never come across in other handguards I've tried in the past. They offer a substantial shield, giving me the confidence I need when tackling the roughest terrains.
One of the best things about these handguards is the extra room they provide. It's been a blessing for me, allowing easy access to brake cables and other devices without having to worry about cramming them in.
However, despite all the positives, there is one drawback I've observed. They aren't as streamlined as I'd like them to be. While protection is vital, aerodynamics have their importance, and the added bulk to these handguards does make a difference, albeit slightly.
Overall, with their robust design, ample space for additional devices, and their effective protection against off-road elements, these JFG Racing Handguards make a compelling choice for any adrenaline junkie out there.

🔗UTG Pro Model AR-15 Super Slim A2 Handguard - Lightweight & Slim Tubular Profile

​
https://preview.redd.it/lpxj40s0k34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ae35062133678445a2c80f1c1f1d46e2e88c4e1
The UTG Pro Model 4/15 Car Length Super Slim Drop-in Handguard is a must-have for your AR15, fitting seamlessly with standard delta ring assembly, barrel nut, and round handguard cap. Its lightweight, slim tubular profile offers improved handling and a top rail that extends to the upper receiver provides a continuous mounting platform.
The removable two 2-Slot and two 4-Slot rail sections allow for customization at various 3, 6, and 9 O'clock positions, while precision machining from aircraft aluminum and black anodizing ensures durability and a sleek finish. The simple installation process makes it easy to upgrade your AR15 without the need for gunsmithing.
The positive reviews from users highlight the product's value, ease of installation, and impressive features, making it an outstanding choice for anyone looking to enhance their AR15 experience.

🔗MFT EXT Duty Free Flt RL MLOK AR-15 A2 Handguard - 18 Inches

​
https://preview.redd.it/z7s9jv81k34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0dd31d1895ec42ca9127387ea47b4d73d774b822
The MFT EXT Duty Free Flt RL MLOK has been my trusty companion for the past six months as I've been enjoying my time at the range. The anti-rotating tabs have provided a secure and steady grip, ensuring that my rifle remains sturdy and aligned. Its sleek, black finish has never failed to impress and has added a touch of class to my setup.
One downside I've noticed is that it's somewhat heavier than the standard A2 handguard, but the modularity offered by the M-Lok system has been a lifesaver. The ability to switch out attachments has provided me with the freedom to customize my rifle to suit my preferences.
Overall, I've been quite pleased with my experience using this handguard. The combination of its durability, aesthetics, and flexibility has made it a reliable and essential piece of my gear.

🔗Mil-Spec A2 Handguard for Optimal Stability and Durability

​
https://preview.redd.it/vzhl29r1k34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=21f733c05bdb6548b550d73fe7ecd5df8fbf80d0
I recently had the chance to try out the Midwest Industries G2 Drop-In Handguard, and I must say, it has become a solid addition to my daily carry kit. The Gen2 design with four anti-rotation QD sockets for push-button swivels is quite impressive and has made switching between accessories a breeze.
One of the most noteworthy features that I appreciated was the incredibly lightweight construction while maintaining a robust lock-up, thanks to its monolithic continuous top rail. It has allowed me to mount scopes effortlessly and has made the overall experience incredibly smooth.
The high-quality 1913 mil. spec rails, T-marked for location, are a testament to the meticulous craftsmanship that goes into this handguard. Constructed from 6061 aluminum with a hard coat anodized finish, it has held up exceptionally well and continues to look as good as new even after prolonged use.
Compatibility-wise, the G2 Drop-In Handguard has proven to be versatile, working seamlessly with most gas piston systems. The 100% Made in the USA aspect also adds a nice touch of authenticity to the product.
While there were no significant cons during my experience, I did find the installation process to be somewhat tricky, which might be a cause for concern for some users.
Overall, the Midwest Industries G2 Drop-In Handguard is an excellent choice for those seeking a high-quality, durable, and adaptable handguard for their firearms.

Buyer's Guide

Welcome to our buyer's guide for A2 Handguards. In this section, we will cover important features, considerations, and general advice to help you make an informed decision when purchasing an A2 Handguard for your firearm.

Materials

​
https://preview.redd.it/8n9tmax6k34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1cb0e0d41051de91db3676986f13a86de8367454
A2 Handguards are typically made from durable materials such as aluminum, polymer, or carbon fiber. These materials offer different levels of strength, weight, and heat resistance. Consider the environment in which the handguard will be used, and choose a material that suits your needs best. For example, aluminum handguards might be a good choice if you'll be using the firearm in a damp or humid environment, as they are less prone to corrosion compared to polymer.

Size and Compatibility

Make sure to check the size and compatibility of the handguard with your firearm before making a purchase. A handguard that is too small may not provide adequate support, while a handguard that is too large could interfere with your ability to use the firearm comfortably. Some A2 Handguards are designed for specific models or calibers, so be sure to choose the appropriate handguard for your firearm.

Design and Aesthetics

Aesthetics play a role in the overall look and feel of your firearm. Consider the style and design of the handguard, keeping in mind factors such as the material, texture, and any additional features, such as integrated slings or rail systems. Choose a design that not only looks good but also functions well for your needs.
​
https://preview.redd.it/6pts0dd7k34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1c8818eb796a07c54e8e90e521060313b2c40a05

Installation and Maintenance

Ease of installation and maintenance can greatly impact your overall satisfaction with the A2 Handguard. Look for handguards that come with clear installation instructions and are compatible with your existing mounting system, such as Picatinny or Weaver rails. Additionally, consider the overall durability of the handguard and the ease of cleaning or replacing components if needed.

Budget

Lastly, consider your budget when selecting an A2 Handguard. There are handguards available at various price points, with different features and materials. Determine the balance between cost and functionality that best suits your needs.
Choosing the right A2 Handguard can greatly enhance your firearm's performance and comfort. By considering factors such as materials, compatibility, design, installation, maintenance, and budget, you can make an informed decision and find a handguard that meets your specific needs.

FAQ

​
https://preview.redd.it/78qqb4d8k34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e0e21f058cc8146f5a72981559f27f9432759f1

What is an A2 Handguard?

The A2 Handguard is a type of mounting system designed specifically for firearms. It provides a secure and sturdy platform for attaching equipment, such as tactical lights, laser sights, and bipods, to the firearm.

What is the difference between an A2 Handguard and other handguards?

Other handguards may differ in design, materials, and features such as rail systems, weight, and compatibility with specific firearms. The A2 Handguard is made for specific firearms, ensuring a proper fit and optimal functionality. Make sure to check the compatibility of the handguard with your firearm before making a purchase.
​
https://preview.redd.it/4olb16v8k34d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74f38a2c1a0af2fb2fbcb59227795ba6c7c47021

What are some of the benefits of using an A2 Handguard?

• Additional mounting points for attaching tactical equipment
• Secure and sturdy platform for your equipment
• Easy to install and remove
• Improved ergonomics for better grip and control

Is an A2 Handguard easy to install?

Yes, an A2 Handguard is generally easy to install, as most of them come with detailed instructions. However, it's essential to follow the manufacturer's guidelines and use the appropriate tools to ensure a proper installation.

What materials are A2 Handguards made from?

A2 Handguards can be made from various materials, such as aluminum, polymer, or a combination of both. The choice of material depends on the desired weight, durability, and appearance of the handguard.

Are A2 Handguards compatible with different firearm models?

While A2 Handguards are primarily designed for specific firearms, there might be some compatibility issues with aftermarket accessories or customizations. Make sure to check the manufacturer's compatibility guidelines before purchasing.

How do I clean and maintain an A2 Handguard?

To clean and maintain your A2 Handguard, use a soft cloth and mild cleaning solution. Avoid using abrasive materials, which can damage the finish. Regular cleaning and maintenance can help prolong the life of your handguard and keep it looking great.
As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.

Platinum End Theory: Who Is God And Those Mysterious Beings In The Finale Explained
Original link- https://reddit.com/platinumend/comments/sdw2rc/deleted_by_use
Repost cause the original was deleted. I'm not OP. OP is https://www.reddit.com/usemuphenz
Deleted Theory https://www.reddit.com/platinumend/s/b347iH85A7
Thanks https://www.reddit.com/usecompletelylostcase for the Pastebin link. https://pastebin.com/A8K4bJiD
DISCLAIMER: This theory will go over the entire story of Platinum End, so obvious spoilers ahead.Just a heads up, this theory is posted at the time that only a few episodes of the anime have been released. Depending on how much the anime stays like the manga, details may end up changing. Therefore, the entire theory will be based solely on the manga. I will also leave snippets of the manga with the highlighted text to support my claim. Please be sure to read those as it will help this theory make sense. This theory is completely my own original thoughts. If anyone shares this, please be sure to credit me, Muphenz. Thanks! Hello, my fellow Platinum End fans! If you’re like me, the ending completely caught me off guard and left my head-scratching. Do not worry! I’ve overanalyzed everything and made a theory to possibly explain who god and those beings at the end of the story are, so you don’t have to. Those beings at the end of the manga, chapter 58, are drum roll…humans of the future who have achieved many scientific advancements who existed well before the story of Platinum End takes place and are simulating their own world with fake humans, fake angels, and a fake god. Why are the real humans running this simulation? Simply put, they’re suicidal and no amount of therapy is going to help with that. Why are they wanting to die? In the future, it is predicted by Gaku Yoneda that within 500 years, humans will achieve immortality. Once they achieve immortality, they will eventually master time and space and will be able to do things like teleport, time travel, see the future, etc. And once humans achieve immortality and are able to know all of the future, they will discover that the future cannot be changed according to Dr. Yoneda. Just like Dr. Yoneda’s prediction, the real humans are wanting to die which is why it’s stated by one of the real humans how annoying it is that there is no death. Whatever the process was that made the real humans immortal, it seems that it cannot be reversed to restore one’s mortality. Although it’s not stated how humans will achieve immortality and allow them to control time and space, this will somehow cause humanity’s apocalypse as well, destroying the original Earth. What makes these creatures more human-like than god-like is that they admit they were born on another planet, most likely the original Earth. They are also aware that they too were created by something that is above them. How do we know Dr. Yoneda’s predictions are right? It was stated by Shuji Nakaumi that his past predictions came true. One thing to understand about science is that it’s extremely good at accurately predicting things. Example 1: With Issac Newton’s law of motion, scientists can predict the position of an object at any specific time, past, present, or future. Example 2: In the 1840s, Fitzner astronomer Urbain Le Verrier was analyzing the orbit pathway of Mercury and found that it is changing very slowly over time. With technology limited at that time, it was hard to provide proof. In 1915, the famous German physicist, Albert Einstein was able to calculate the influence of the curved space in Mercury’s orbit. That is 75 years later that science proved its prediction was right. Although science cannot tell future events like a psychic will attempt to, I believe this is what the author was using to help advance the plot for the ending. The real humans already know the future and they’re aware that no matter what they try, death is not a part of that. If they cannot do it, someone else can. That is when these simulations come in. The real humans will create simulated humans. In one of the simulations, the story of Platinum End takes place. This would not be on a computer. This process would involve terraforming an entire planet to support carbon-based life. The planet that the simulated humans live on will be similar to the original Earth as well as the history and advancement of science will be similar to the real humans. As the simulated human’s society progresses, like in Platinum End, they would eventually learn how to become immortal and learn how to control space-time which would lead to them wanting to die just like the real humans. But unlike the real humans, the simulated ones may actually achieve a way to kill themselves once they obtain immortality that the real humans could use. But as we already know stated by the real humans, this specific simulation was a failure. Nothing was created that was capable of killing them. Thus, the real humans will move on to a new simulation. Pay very special attention to this picture. Notice right after all of the humans disappear when the fake god kills himself, the buildings are slowly crumbling away since no one is here to maintain them. According to World Building, it would take an average of 250 years for a building to start to break apart since materials like wood and plastic would be destroyed by the environment if not maintained. Metal would be expanding and no longer able to keep the building's structure in place. This would cause things like windows to fall off and shatter. So after a few hundred years, the real humans return to the planet after the simulated humans disappeared due to the fake god’s suicide. It’s possible that during this time they’re running other simulations on other planets and returned when this simulation was completed. Since the real humans have achieved master over space-time, teleporting to anywhere in the universe would not be out of the question. Since they cannot die, the amount of time it would take for the real humans to travel anywhere in the universe is irrelevant as well. Even though Gaku Yoneda’s predictions about the simulated humanity’s end were wrong, he was technically right. It did come true for the real humans. If Shuji Nakaumi, as the fake god, did not kill himself and wipe out all of the fake humans, they would of most likely learned how to cheat death and to control space-time in the future. Gaku was wrong about the fake god being a product of human belief in order to live. He even admits that the composition of the fake god was wrong. If the fake god required human belief to live, then Shuji would not have erased the memories of those who were not god candidates as it would have affected the fake god's existence if fewer people believed in him. There is one thing that begs the question. Why is a fake god needed to run these simulations? Why do the simulated humans have souls? Why not just create the simulated humans and leave them to figure out how to create an immortal killing machine without the process of a false god? This is because God and souls are actually real and are necessary for life to exist. To clarify, the “God” that Shuji Nakaumi was transmuted into is not the true God that I’m referring to. I’m referring to the first cause of everything, a self-aware creator, a deistic God who existed before time and space who created the universe and does not intervene in its creation. This means no miracles, prophecy, answering prayers, divine revelation, etc. Everything in the universe is governed by physics and these laws cannot be broken. The real humans who are running the simulations are aware that they are a creation made from a creator. However, since a deistic God does not interfere in the universe, the real humans cannot know of him, at least while they are still alive. Considering the real humans can control space-time, I can say for certain at one point, at least one person went to the very beginning of time and saw something that would be evidence of an intelligent designer creating the universe. When the real humans are conversing with each other at the finale, one human suggests identifying what created them and the second one replies that seeking their creator will be a waste of time. If a deistic God won’t intervene in its creation, the real humans would be wasting time by attempting to contact him. Even though they can control space-time, if the creator exists outside of reality, they would not be able to reach this entity. Focusing on figuring out who created them means that time is wasted if they're not figuring out how to die which is why it would take them further away from death. Just as the simulated humans have souls, the real humans also have souls. At some point, the real humans discovered the soul. They are aware that this is needed for life to be sentient. The discovery of the soul could have played a key part in the real humans achieving immortality. The fake god is engineered by the real humans to create souls so that life can be sentient, mimic the universe's deistic God by allowing the simulation to run with no interference, and act as a mod to keep an eye on life with the red and white arrows. The celestial realm was created so the fake god would not be a part of the simulated world. Even though time moves differently in the celestial realm, it is the closest thing that the real humans can engineer to simulate a deist God that is separated from its creation. This fake god does not have the powers of a supreme being. The fake god does not know everything, is not everywhere at once, and does not display any sort of omnipotent ability. There is a lot of things that the fake god admits to not knowing, such as who created him, why are souls preserved, and how long does the merging process take. Although we do see the fake god have the ability to observe humanity, I would say that this is the equivalent of having admin privileges to watch humanity live-streamed on YouTube. The fake god is aware that he is created by someone. The fake god noticed that there are things that had already been created that he was not a part of just by observing everything in the universe. Although he seems to not understand what created him. He even acknowledges the idea that humanity could have created him. All the simulated souls come from the fake god. This is done through a process of emanation, which means to flow from. In the Abrahamic religions, specifically Gnosticism, Jewish Mysticism, and certain sectors of Protestantism, instead of your typical creator being separate from its creation, everything is a spontaneous outflow from God. As pieces of God emanate from him, it becomes less divine, but these pieces will eventually become an individual soul that forms into human spirits, angels, demons, as well as other things that come into reality such as heaven, hell, and the world of the living. Eventually, everything that came from God, will return back to the creator. (If you’re still confused on what emanation is, I would do more research before continuing to read as this will play a key role in understanding who the fake god is.) Emanation is how the fake god created the simulated human and their soul, the fake angels, and the celestial realm. The fake god took a piece of himself and used it to create life. Since everything emanates from the fake god is connected to him, as he is dying, most of the angels are dying too. Due to this connection, when the fake god killed himself, everything that was tied to the fake god disappeared. But because the creation of the fake god is not connected to the physical world, the planet and everything that is not life remained on it. When the simulated human beings die, the soul goes to the celestial realm. This is the returning aspect of emanation. The souls that came from the fake god are returning back to him. You always see all angels, regardless of rank, having the task of carrying the souls to the celestial realm. It seems that the main purpose of the angels is to help with the return part of the emanation process. The more that the emanence is divided, the less divine it becomes. This is why the fake humans are considered sub-celestial in the hierarchy.It appears that there is a certain order to the flow of emanation. The newest creations emanate from the fake god. Kids will be the first in the line for the emanate process and their parents will be behind them. This is why when the fake god committed suicide, the kids were the first ones to disappear, then the adults. All things that emanate from the fake god are returning to the original source in reverse order when the fake god takes his own life. When the fake god merges with a human, this appears to go against the set pattern of the emanation process by breaking the order in which the emanence flows. This is why when Shuji merged with the fake god, it felt like there was something foreign in the fake god's body similar to how an infected person's body acts when the immune system detects foreign bacteria or a virus. The only way to get around it is by the fake god merging with a simulated human and having the fake god take over the new body when the fusion is completed. It is stated by the fake god that it is nothing more than humanity's assumption that God cannot die. This may be true for the deistic God, but not for a fake god. It is already known that the real humans achieved immortality. Although the fake god could have been engineered to be immortal, that would just create another being who would eventually want to die. The fake god was designed to live a long life, compared to humans, that could be extended through the process of merging with one of its emanated counterparts until the simulation was completed. This has been done throughout time in the form of the god choosing process. The fake god confirmed to Shuji that his purpose was to create life. Professor Yoneda confirmed that the fake god was created by human imagination and that its purpose was to end life. On the surface, this may seem like a contradiction. But both of them are right. The fake god’s purpose was to create the simulated humans. God is metaphorically a creation of human imagination. It was not by the simulated human’s imagination as stated by Yoneda, but it was designed and engineered by the minds of the real humans. Since the purpose of the simulation is for the fake humans to achieve immortality and figure out how to reverse it, you can say that the fake god is a part of that process of killing humanity. Right as all of the humans are disappearing, Dr. Yoneda realizes that the composition that makes up the creature is based on a science that the simulated humans have not discovered yet. The composition of the fake god is Aether. In medieval times, a common study among scholars is alchemy, which can be best described as the forerunner for modern-day chemistry mixed with the pseudoscience of metaphysics. According to Charles Gillispie, a historian at Princeton University, in his book, The Edge of Objectivity, An Essay in the History of Scientific Ideas, Aether is the fifth element, along with earth, wind, fire, and water, that are the basic building blocks of the universe. During medieval times, Aether is the substance that is believed to connect the physical world to the spiritual one. It was even a common belief that the Abrahamic God was surrounded by Aether and that all of the angels, demons, and souls that dwelled in the afterlife breathed it in as humans breathed in the air. According to Jakob Bernoulli, a mathematician from the 1600s, believed that Aether is what allowed souls to interact with their human bodies. All of these characteristics of Aether match the composition of the fake god. Aether is what allows life to become sentient, connecting all of the simulated humans back to the fake god from the physical world to the celestial realm. It seems at some point, the real humans discover this element. This discovery most likely led to the discovery of the soul. Using this element, the real humans used Aether to construct the fake god needed for the simulations. Everything that is a part of the simulation, the fake god, angels, the soul, the arrows, is made up of this element. The red arrow is what allows the god candidates to make other humans fall in love with them so much that the person who is under the influence of the arrow will do literally anything the person who is in control wants, even die for them. The white arrow has the ability to kill any life while all inanimate objects are unaffected. These were limits placed on the arrows by the fake god. According to Ogaro, the fake god can use the full power of the arrows at will. The red arrow is more than just making someone fall in love. The arrow does this by taking away their free will. The god candidates were limited to using the arrow on 14 people at once for a period of up to 33 days. With the fake god able to use the full power of the red arrow, he can enslave any or all simulated humans with a snap of his finger for as long as he desired. The red arrow also played a role in creating the first simulated life as well. The fake god stated that if life was left alone, it would multiply. The desire of falling in love and wanting to procreate was implanted by the red arrow when life was created. The white arrow is the opposite of the red arrow. This arrow can kill life instantly. The limit that was placed on this arrow is that only one white arrow can be shot at a time. Just like the red arrow, this arrow has a maximum range of 31.6 meters. When cycling the white arrow, there is a cool down period of 0.3 seconds. If these limiters are removed, the fake god can kill all humans with the white arrows with virtually no limit on distance, any number of arrows can be used simultaneously, and there would be no mandatory cool down period. The creation of the simulated humans involves two key ingredients. The first is the soul which comes from the fake god. The second is a physical body for the soul to be attached to. The real humans asked if it was worth planting another seed and another god as those are two separate things. The making of another god is obviously the fake god. But what is the seed? The seed is what makes the physical embodiment of all plants and animals that all emanence is attached to. I.E., souls attached to bodies. According to the fake god, before he created life on the fake Earth, there was some sort of micro-organism. This seed would be that micro-organism, specifically carbon-based bacteria that is capable of evolution. Around 3 billion years ago, the first life on Earth was bacteria. There are two types of bacteria, a classification of anaerobic bacteria that ate other organic compounds and simple sugars to survive. The other kind is autotrophs bacteria which is capable of self-feeding. Anaerobic bacteria would evolve into modern-day animals. Autotroph bacteria would evolve into modern-day plants that still have the ability to self-feed through a process of photosynthesis. It is possible to send bacteria through space. According to a 2020 study published in the Journal of Frontiers in Microbiology, bacteria were able to survive in space for three years. If the real humans were able to transport the seed through space in less than 3 years, it could easily survive. Considering they achieved immortality, it is within reason to think this would be a piece of cake for them. At some point, part of the anaerobic bacteria would come in contact with the fake god, who was on the fake Earth at that time to make life, recognized the fake god as food, and attempted to feed off of him to survive. The bacteria that fed off the fake god would eventually evolve into Nasse. The bacteria that did not feed off of the fake god would evolve into more complex forms of life on the fake Earth. Since Nasse was accidentally created from this event, it most likely means that she is the first angel that the fake god created. This means that she could serve as inspiration for the fake god to create angels for the celestial realm. The angels don't seem to share any ability to reproduce with each other. There is never any mention of any family heritage. It means that all of the angels were created around the same time. Since Nasse is the only angel that came from the seed/bacteria, her biological makeup differs from all the other angels. While the majority of her is angel, part of the genetic makeup is similar to carbon-based life. Although I would not say Nasse is an angel-human hybrid, she could be considered a type of Nephilim. Due to this biological difference, Nasse is the only angel that can interfere in both the physical world and the celestial realm. Much research has shown that facial expressions are innate among all animals, not just humans. The same animals that display facial expressions when expressing emotions, lying, determination, etc. use similar muscles in the face as humans do. For example, a Psychologist, Paul Ekman, studied facial expression from hours of film and ventured on to multiple isolated tribes who have very little contact with modern society. He showed them pictures of facial expressions and asked them to interpret them. These people were able to match facial expressions and their meaning with high accuracy. This is one of the many studies that show facial expressions are genetic. Even though Nasse is single-minded, she is able to understand facial expressions due to her biological relationship with the simulated life on the fake Earth. But hey, this is just a theory."

PRESENT
This is Part 2 of 3, the Present, in game events we see! Onwards!
The Protagonist is some sort of content creator, one that goes to abandoned or forgotten places and "searches" them, as can be gleaned from the cameras facing the protagonist on his desk, and his conversation with a certain Laura, or LSparks53 (there's also an error in this Harmony tab, with one of the messages from Laura reading as from LauraSparks53 instead of LSparks53. Just a note). This Laura helps our protagonist, who goes by the username of eEnsign. His profile picture are the letters UF, which is weird, since it doesn't match the username, nor what Laura calls eEnsign: Ed. Anyways, I digress. From now on, I'll call the protagonist Ed as well. Laura helps Ed get footage of these places as per the conversation.
eEnsign: "Hey Laura! I'm doing another search this weekend! Wanna come with me?"
LSparks53: "The last few times I've gone with you SUCKED LMAO."
eEnsign: "Remember that old theme park we went to see as kids? Indigo Park?"
LSparks53: "yeah? I kind of forgot about that place? Been closed for a while, right? how would you even get in?"
eEnsign: "Honestly, I don't know. I'm not even gonna bring my equipment. Jump a fence of something? We've done worse lol”
LSparks53: "aight, well just be careful. I'm gonna pass on this one. if you can get in i'll go with you to help record some other time. i'm looking it up now and there's like NO info online about it. probably swarming with cops too."
eEnsign: "I guess we'll find out! I'll check it out, maybe we can go together next week?
Lsparks53: "just be careful, Ed. I don't want to be paying your bail."
And with that conversation, we learn that these two are like a dynamic duo of sorts, having some sort of channel or website where they post footage of places lost to time and "search" them, breaking laws of trespassing and such, apparently also having "done worse", whatever that means. Maybe they took a few things from the place, so burglary? It's never specified. Probably burglary, though, considering that Ed has taken to collecting all sorts of plushies and such from Indigo Park.
What I want to point out is how weird this Laura person acts. As soon as Indigo Park is mentioned, Laura instantly seems to dislike the idea, but never directly says it. Instead, she becomes reluctant to go with Ed, despite having done worse, as Ed puts it. Perhaps she's just cautious, and based on her last sentence, they haven't been caught before, or else she would have said "I don't want to be paying your bail again."
However, I don't think that's the case. Remember when Laura said she looked up Indigo Park and found nothing? Well, we know the website is still up and running, or at the very least, Ed used some sort of service like the Wayback Machine to pull it up on the right most monitor on his desk, which can be seen in the opening cutscene. On it, there's even an option to purchase tickets still, which is incredibly weird, which I'll also go into later on. Why would a defunct theme park need a still running website? After all, if you evacuate everyone from it with no explanation, wouldn't you want to get rid of all evidence of it? If not destroy the property outright, then at least take the website down. Again, digressing, the point is that Laura didn't find this website ... or she did, but didn't say anything.
Again, this is purely speculation at this point; I mean, the two of them have broke into a few places trespassing and recording and documenting abandoned places at least a few times for the internet, and maybe she really is just that cautious, worried about being imprisoned and charged for trespassing, and even attempted burglary.
And it seems like Ed is asking the same questions we are. Behind the Harmony tab is a notes tab with several questions such as "Why did it close?" and "What is left?", among a few others that are cut off. The next question seems to ask "Is it still" something. Seems like Ed and us are in the same boat. Hopefully we can help each other out.
Regardless, Ed ends up climbing the fence and enters the closed off Indigo Park, where dozens of crates stamped with the Indigo Park logo, along with trash, can be seen. Walking around, the main gates are closed off, and one of the doors seem to open on their own, allowing Ed entry into the Registration Center, a desk with a few monitors where a Rangler would sit and check Ed in.
Inside, the Rambley AI comes to life, noting that Ed is the first person there in just over eight years, before directing us to the previously mentioned Registration Center. It is revealed here that AI Rambley has access to the cameras (both computer cameras and CCTV cameras), where he notes that Ed isn’t on the guest list, probably because he snuck in, and didn’t pay for his tickets. However, what stands out as odd is that Rambley doesn’t recognize Ed at all, asking if he was here for the first time. We know that it’s most definitely not Ed’s first time here, but it’s unclear if AI Rambley doesn’t recognize Ed because he grew up, or the registration process requires a photo upload.
Rambley AI: "Hm, I don't seem to have your face in the guest list. Is this your first time here in the park? Or did you just get plastic surgery?"
From here, Ed’s directed to go through the gates, but both AI Rambley and Ed realize that the gates are not open and are instead sending an error message. Going back to the Registration Center, Ed finds and replaces a missing gear, and the gates finally open, from where Ed is free to explore. He’s directed to the Critter Corner, where he receives a Critter Cuff to enter certain areas, and the park, from where he’s directed to Rambley’s Railway to get to know most (poor Salem) of the characters. A massive statue of Isaac Indigo and Rambley can be seen at the entrance.
As Ed makes his way through to Rambley Railway, it’s clear that the park is not in the best condition. Ransacked gift stores, empty cafes with rotting food and festering drinks, tunnels collapsing at the drop of a hat, and weeds spouting everywhere even disconcert the AI Rambley, who tries to shrug off the state of the park by claiming renovations, but it’s clear he’s unsettled with how empty and broken the park is. We’ll cover that later as well.
On this ride, Rambley introduces us to everyone, except for Salem, indicating he’s friends with everyone except her and Lloyd, for whom he has … let’s a bit of distaste for. He’s shown to be sarcastic and snippy with Lloyd, but even his supposed friends aren’t safe from his occasional jabs.
Rambley when speaking to Mollie Macaw: “You sure are [the best pilot you ever saw], Moll! Why, you only crashed into six barns this week!”
Mollie: “I’m not crashin’, Rambley! I’m barnstormin’!”
Rambley: “Haha! What’s barnstorming?”
Mollie: “It’s crashing, with style! I-it barely hurts at all!”
The stutter in Mollie’s audio is what interests me. It could be interpreted as a glitch, which is certainly possible. The park hasn’t been maintained in eight years, and it is falling apart. But it could also be interpreted as Mollie losing her characteristic confidence, upset that Rambley seems to be so keen on pointing out her failures in her hobby sphere.
Rambley, when speaking to Finley the Sea Serpent: “Why the long face? And body? … Oh Finley, you should come out of YOUR shell!”
Finley, in response. “How about YOU come into it instead?”
I would also like to note AI Rambley’s interaction with Finley’s plushie.
AI Rambley: “Ooh, you found my buddy Finley! You know, he’s really shy, like, TOO shy, like OBNOXIOUSLY shy, but he’s got a good heart.”
I want to point out the fact that when Rambley speaks about how shy Finley is, he doesn’t seem to be doing it in a jesting way. In fact, he seems genuinely annoyed with how introverted Finley is, to the point where you can hear it in his voice, and he also uses his annoyed model with slanted eyes when mentioning it.
There’s also a note here that, apparently, Rambley and Finley have known each other for over 100 years, though it’s unclear if this is actually real information, or just something the creators of the ride decided to include for the fun of it.
And another thing. At the very end of the Finley section, Finley hopes that the rider will actually visit him and Oceanic Odyssey, because he’s lonely. Why should he be lonely? He’s friends with Rambley and Mollie, at the very least. Is it because he lives on the bottom of the ocean? Or for other reasons?
Ed then reaches Salem’s area, which is noticeably, horrifically destroyed, a splatter of something bright red front and center. This is where the ride breaks down, and Ed’s required to go and fix it, before continuing onto Lloyd’s area.
I’d like to stop the story to consider the state of Salem’s area; why is it so destroyed? I’m going to avoid thinking of the red splatter as blood, to be honest, but we do know that the Mascots bleed red, thanks to Mollie Macaw. In my mind, there are three potential perpetrators.
The first two are noticeably weak connections, and the reasoning isn’t 100%, so take it with a grain of salt. We know that all the characters received Mascots, so there are three of them that, in my mind, are capable.
The first is, admittedly, a bit weird: the Mascot of Salem. We know she despises Rambley and his friends (her relationship with Lloyd remains a mystery), so it’s possible that Mascot Salem was the one to sabotage her area, as a way of getting back at Rambley. Why her area only is admittedly a bit weird, so she’s not the strongest match. Another piece of evidence would be the smashed animatronic of Mollie. Again, we do know that Salem has used Mollie before by dumping her potions onto her and making Mollie Salem’s minion. Could she also have smashed the animatronic bird?
The second suspect is Mascot Mollie. She can be seen following Ed throughout the ride, and the whole park, for that matter, and we do know there is some bad blood between her and Salem because of the arcade game Rambely Rush. It would give motive for Mascot Mollie to do such a thing, and she’s the only Mascot running about Indigo Park that we know of; Lloyd remained in his theater, not pursuing Ed when he leaves. At the end of the chapter, when Ed enters Oceanic Odyssey, it’s unclear whether a robot or Mascot Finley appears in the aquarium, but he’s likely confined there as well. Mascots Rambley and Salem aren’t even mentioned once.
Now, this one is also kind of a stretch, but the only character that would have more reason to hate Salem more than Mollie is Rambley. They are clear nemeses (again, Rambley Rush), and have been for quite some time. While the AI Rambley is generally benevolent, but still with a sharp tongue, it remains to be seen what exactly the Mascot Rambley is like. His Mascot is still likely here in Indigo Park somewhere, one of the remaining two (Mollie being dead, unless there are several of each Mascot present, in which case this elevates the terror a few notches. Imagine being chased by seventeen Mascot Lloyds) besides Salem. He could very well be the perpetrator. However, I do have a bit of trouble explaining why he would wreck the Animatronic Mollie. Maybe because he knows it’s just a fake, and not the real Mascot Mollie?
However, there is one convenient detail that I have not mentioned. Remember the smashed Animatronic Mollie, and how we were questioning why she was wrecked in the first place? Well, she does offer us one clue. When Ed approaches the bird, Mollie flickers to life momentarily, her voice garbled and distorted until finally, she says this:
Animatronic Mollie: “Not Rambley! He hurts Lloyd! He hurts Lloyd!”
After that, poor Animatronic Mollie finally shuts off for good, her painted eyes devoid of the life she once had. Well, this certainly got interesting, didn’t it? Rambley hurts Lloyd? How? I mean, think about it! How would a raccoon actively hurt a lion? This isn’t like a honey badger situation; raccoons are much more vulnerable and weaker than honey badgers. What’s also interesting is her words themselves. Why would someone program an Animatronic Mollie to say this? We eventually find out that Mascot Mollie will memorize and be able to repeat words or phrases she’s heard, if Ed has the misfortune of being caught by Mascot Mollie later down the line. Is it possible that the same is true for the animatronics? And if so, does that mean that Animatronic Mollie was shouting bits and pieces out of context, or was it supposed to be something she was never meant to hear, and was thusly wrecked?
And even if this was out of context, that still opens up a major can of worms. Even if Rambley never hurt Lloyd, who is this ‘He’ that did hurt Lloyd? Keep this in mind until we reach Lloyd’s attraction.
Anyways, onto Llyod’s area. It’s clear that Lloyd and Rambley both don’t like each other, quite possibly because Rambley hates how Lloyd used to be number one, and Lloyd possibly because he’s not happy that he was replaced by Rambley as head honcho. Rambley, for his part, doesn’t really try to antagonize Lloyd, just wearily going through the ride and trying to get out as fast as possible here.
And that’s essentially it for the ride, AI Rambley suggesting Ed go visit Jetstream Junction. Careful observation would yield the fact that Mascot Mollie has been stalking Ed, studying him from behind the scenes, though she won’t end up being an antagonist until later on.
What’s interesting to note is that at the end, AI Rambley says this: “So, whatddya think? Pretty fun, right? Now you know all about my friends! And Lloyd …”
We know that Rambley cannot stand Salem, Rambley Rush made it quite clear. So, why refer to Salem as a friend? Why is her area so wrecked? Is it possible that AI Rambley has no reason to hate her, because he’s not aware of how often he’s pitted against her in media? But that would also mean that AI Rambley would have to be quite unaware of the media surrounding him, but he seems to know a lot about the history of the park. He still dislikes Lloyd, after all. And then that would beg the question if Mascot Rambley actually dislikes Salem enough to destroy her area in his ride. Too many questions that, unfortunately, there are no answers for. We can’t even see AI Rambley’s thoughts on Salem through a plush or anything, because there are no current collectibles in Chapter 1 that refer to her.
This is actually why I think one of the more intriguing aspects of ‘Birds of a Feather’ is Salem, and her ambiguous presence within the game. There aren’t even any posters in regard to her, unlike Lloyd or Rambley or Mollie or Finley. She’s just so wrapped up in mystery … anyways.
After finding out Jetstream Junction is locked away, AI Rambley sends Ed to Lloyd’s Main Stage Theater, where Ed first catches a glimpse of Mascot Lloyd, dozing on the stage. When Mascot Lloyd notices Ed, he runs into the back, and unfortunately, that’s where Ed has to go.
When Ed reaches the stage himself, AI Rambley tells Ed to be careful, because he has no vision of the backstage area, which is weird. AI Rambley seems to have access to the rest of Indigo Park, why is this area so special? It’s just storage, for the most part … and Mascot Lloyd, but AI Rambley still thinks they’re just as good as they were in their hay day, so he has no reason to be wary of the Mascots themselves until later. It’s true that it’s a Ranglers Only area, and we haven’t really seen AI Rambley in these areas before, so that could be it? Maybe because of his dislike for Lloyd? But then why give AI Rambley access to the stage at all? I don’t know, to be honest. Yet another question. However, AI Rambley does say something interesting.
AI Rambley, to Ed, regarding the behind the stage area: “Hey buddy. I got eyes all over the park, but I can’t see anything behind the stage. If you’re going back there be careful. Your Critter Cuff is not yet able to resuscitate you.”
Why should a Critter Cuff be able to resuscitate a person? From what I understand, it’s supposed to be like those Disney Bands that you can wear at parks, giving you access to different rides and such, even having complementary features of being a pedometer, mood ring, and a heartbeat sensor. This could either be a sort of tease to future upgrades Ed might be able to get in future chapters … or implies something darker. These Critter Cuffs were given to regular guests, for what purpose should they be able to revive someone from being unconscious?
Anyways, as Ed makes his way backstage, Lloyd makes some appearances, even once trying to attack Ed before being foiled by the massive boxes landing on him, causing him to slink away. Along the path, however, is something interesting. Binders, pages, even notebooks are scattered, almost like a bread crumb trail. I was never able to make out what they say besides some months like January, or vague Table of Contents with no explanation. Just thought it was weird. Food for thought. Grabbing the keys, Ed heads back, finding the door locked behind him. Trying to open the door yields an attack by Lloyd, who is strangely repelled by a high-pitched noise.
Now, from all that I have read, there seem to be two theories as for why Lloyd flees. The first cause is that Mascot Lloyd is driven away by the high-pitched beeping from the Critter Cuff. The second, and arguably more intriguing theory, is that someone blows a tamer’s whistle. A tamer’s whistle is a whistle used by tamers to direct animals, usually in settings like circuses where the animal has to perform some sort of trick or feat of athleticism. As it’s used more and more often, the animal learns to recognize the pitch, or duration of the shrill sound, associating it with a certain action that needs to be performed. In this case, the theory states that the tamer’s whistle caused Lloyd to fall back, before fleeing.
Now, while I think the tamer whistle theory is cool in concept, I don’t know who would be able, or more importantly, willing to save Ed from Mascot Lloyd. AI Rambley is not able to see what’s back here, nor should he understand what’s happening, so that removes him from the picture. Mascot Mollie is a possibility, perhaps wanting to save Ed for herself, as she’s seen stalking and watching Ed ever since Rambley’s Railroad, and even appears briefly in the hallway when Ed exits the theater backstage, but why want Ed for herself? They probably don’t need food, else they would have died, sweet pastries and sugary drinks present or not. They were left alone for eight years, after all. The thrill of the hunt would be the only explanation. And then there are our two unknowns, running about the park: Mascot Rambley and Mascot Salem. Could they have been the ones to do it? But why assume they’d act differently towards Ed? Surely they’d still be hostile?
And if the Critter Cuff was the savior, why was it ineffective against Mascot Mollie? Could it be because of the physiological and biological differences between Mascots Lloyd and Mollie? And why did it go off only when Lloyd was nearby? After Lloyd is repelled, the noise stops, after all. Was it the elevated heart rate that tipped off the defense mechanism? But again, surely it would have done the same when Ed would be chased by Mascot Mollie?
Remember what Animatronic Mollie told Ed with her dying breath? ‘Not Rambley! He hurts Lloyd! He hurts Lloyd!’ Could this be what Mollie was referring to? After all, Lloyd didn’t just run away; he collapsed a few feet away from Ed for a brief stint, paws pressing against his ears as Lloyd curled up into a fetal position, only running away when the high-pitched sound ended. Mascot Lloyd genuinely seemed in great pain, and was only able to run away, quite hastily, may I add, once the sound stopped. Was Rambley, AI or Mascot, the one who abused such a feature? Or was it someone else?
Remember, we have no idea why the Mascots turned hostile. Possibly due to a lack of exposure to humans, and thus claiming certain territories for themselves. After all, Mollie didn’t attack Ed until he entered her designated area. But then that brings into question Mascot Rambley. Where was he all this time? Rambley Railroad is his place, after all. But this isn’t Rambley’s only attraction in Indigo Park. At least one other location that we find that bears Rambley’s name is ‘Café de Raton Laveur’, which is French for Raccoon Café. Does that mean that Rambley owns other attractions, and is stalking those? It’s unclear.
Anyways, want to know another possible reason why there was a sudden evacuation with no explanation? What if the Mascots rebelled against the humans because of mistreatment? Think about it, Animatronic Mollie says ‘Not Rambley! He hurts Lloyd! He hurts Lloyd!’ What if Animatronic Mollie wasn’t referring to Rambley hurting Lloyd, but someone else? Someone who would want to design a special feature built into his Critter Cuff that he could activate and subdue, if not straight up hurt Lloyd? And who is the only other male character that we know of besides Rambley, Lloyd, Finley, and Ed?
That’s right, Isaac Indigo himself. This could very well be a case of mistreated creatures rebelling against the horrors they endured. Think about it, when in stressful situations, the mind, both human and not, is much more willing to go into fight or flight, is much more likely to punch first, question later. Is it possible that this Animatronic Mollie caught a snippet of a conflict that arose between the Mascots, when Mascot Mollie was trying to mediate? While this does go against the theory that Animatronic Mollie was destroyed by Mascot Rambley to silence her, it’s still a possible theory, no?
Again, these theories are very much a stretch, I just wished to lay them out on the table and offer them up for people to see and debate.
After grabbing the keys, Ed goes to Jetsream Junction, where Ed goes about exploring and solving some puzzles in order to progress further into the building, as it seems to be the only other place that isn’t falling apart and seems to be in somewhat stable condition. Inside one of the rooms is the Rambley Rush arcade game, and there is something interesting that Salem says in here.
Salem, speaking to Rambley: “Meet the new and improved Marley Macaw! Now with none o’ that ‘friendship’ garbage stopping her from tearin’ you to pieces. I wonder what she REALLY thinks of you now? Have fun finding out!”
Now, this could just be me overanalyzing this thing. It’s our only reference to Salem, and some of the things I cite as evidence could very well just be regular dialogue for an arcade game. However, on the off chance that this means something, I was very interested in what Salem said about what Mollie thought of Rambley. She makes it seem like Mollie is under some sort of illusion in regard to Rambley, like he’s a villain masquerading as a good guy, but has everyone around him convinced he’s good. This could tie in with the broken Animatronic Mollie, as if Mollie found out about some truth in regard to Rambley. After all, her broken, jittering speech made it seem like Rambley was actively hurting Lloyd. Could she have gone to someone to get help, but that other someone suggested Rambley as an ally? That could explain why Mollie felt the need to emphasize that ‘He hurts Lloyd’ twice, like she’s genuinely freaking out that her best friend actively hurt others he didn’t like.
Putting that theory aside, Ed goes through the area, heading up to Mollie’s ride, only to find it inaccessible due to major chunks of broken debris. AI Rambley seems sort of horrified to find the place so broken and calls up a repair technician. It’s no surprise that the line is discontinued, due to most Ranglers likely being laid off after the closure of Indigo Park.
From here, AI Rambley, still somewhat jarred by the wreckage he’s seeing, encourages Ed to go and visit Mollie’s Landing Pad, strangely acting as if Ed had just finished his journey on the attraction, when he couldn’t even step onto it. From there, Ed goes and solves some puzzles, making his way deeper into the building. He spots Mollie a few times as she gets away from him, hiding. What’s an interesting note is that some sort of liquid seems to be dripping from Mollie. When you encounter her in one of the tubes, she leaves behind some sort of reddish grime that disappears once her animation is done. Her eyes, also, aren’t the way they’re usually portrayed. They’re similar to Lloyd’s in that there are white pinpricks of light in dark sockets, Lloyd’s being thin ovals in dark sockets.
As Ed finishes up the puzzles, he goes deeper before he’s attacked by Mascot Mollie herself, fleeing through the numerous tubes and tunnels, before eventually leaving it all behind and entering some sort of Ranglers Only Area.
Before we continue, I’d like to point out something. When being chased, Mascot Mollie occasionally rehearses some lines she once heard, repeating this.
Finely, to Rambley: “You’ve known me for 100 years.”
Reasonable enough; she was there when Ed was in the Rambley’s Railroad attraction. No, what concerns me are two other lines, identified by SuperHorrorBro in his analysis of chapter one.
Mascot Mollie: “Get back in your cage, bird.”
And finally, this.
Mascot Mollie: “Get up you stupid freak!”
Remember, Mascot Mollie only repeats what she has once heard. She doesn’t actively make her own dialogue. Remember the theory I had about the Mascots having enough of their terrible living conditions, and rebelling against the staff? It seems like this is the right direction to go in. Lloyd and Mollie do not attack immediately. While Lloyd runs away, Mollie observes, watching, biding her time. She follows you to Lloyd’s theater, and what does she see, or, rather, hear? Lloyd being pushed further and further back into his domain, the one place he should be happy, before being forced into a corner, and where he lashes out. Even though Ed ends up leaving, he ends up claiming a piece of Lloyd’s territory, and Lloyd goes back onto his instincts, to hunt. However, when he gets too close, that blasted, accursed Critter Cuff lets out its horrible whine, Lloyd collapsing, consumed with nothing but pain. Once the sound ends, he flees, like a terrified animal.
And what does Ed see when he leaves? Mascot Mollie, observing Ed. She’s seen that, yet again, a human encroaches, pushes their bounds, eventually hurting Lloyd to get what he wants. And then, he goes to Mollie’s home, the Jetstream Junction, a place she’s been locked out of due to needing a Critter Cuff, but she wouldn’t dare touch one. She saw what happened to Lloyd, who knew what sort of anguish it would inflict upon Mollie?
She enters behind Ed, stalking him, fury building as she watches Ed run about like he owns the place. How dare this man, this human, walk upon her domain whenever he wants, but she has to wait until she’s let in, like some sort of caged bird. Well, she’s not a caged bird, and she’ll make Ed see that.
At first, when AI Rambley sees Ed, he wishes to stop Ed, but seeing a towering Mascot Mollie chasing him, he opens the door, slamming it shut behind Ed just as Mascot Mollie’s head enters the room, killing the Mascot instantly as blood sprays all over the metallic door and floor. AI Rambley attempts to act like nothing happened, but fails, sighing.
He explains that he didn’t realize the danger of Indigo Park and its inhabitants due to being stuck in that early Reception Center for all of those eight, lonely years, unable to see or interact with anything inside. He was just so excited to finally see an actual person that he pushed Ed into this tour, realizing that, with the way things were, there was no way Ed would come out unscathed, and the AI seems genuine in his sorrow. However, he asks for Ed to help restore the park to the former glory, and, miraculously, Ed agrees. However, before Ed leaves, AI Rambley drops this one last piece of vital information.
AI Rambley: “Whew! That was exhausting to say that whole spiel, but Rambley’s Ranglers (registered) is a registered trademark … that expired yesterday.”
Okay, so couple things. From my impression, I had the feeling that somehow, someway the Indigo Company as a whole was alive and kicking. I mean, look at what Ed has to say when he interacts with the Rambley Raccoon plushy.
Ed: “Ah, there’s my buddy. Kinda feels like Rambley has a whole empire now, being the main man of Indigo and all.”
Ed gives us the distinct impression that not only is Indigo still around, but it’s also positively thriving, yet they allow their trademarks to expire? Trademarks essentially last forever, but you have to fight, in court, to let them continue every ten years or so. If Indigo is based on Disney, the stingiest, largest entertainment company, why would they let their trademark expire, and give access to others? Well, this might have to do with the initial terms.
You see, in order to keep a trademark, you have to defend its usage every ten years. Well, okay, then why didn’t Indigo do so? One of the terms for renewal is that you have to continuously use that trademark. You can’t just claim one and never use it again, that’s basically an infraction upon free speech. Sure, you can fight for its ownership, but there are rules and regulations to these kinds of things, you can’t just trademark something like ‘Oof’ or ‘Lmao’ and keep it without at least saying those phrases occassionally.
And, so far as we know, there are no other places such as Indigo Park owns. Ranglers are synonymous with staff in the park, so obviously, it would be hard to justify keeping a trademark when you never expect to use it. So, that’s my theory on why the trademark did indeed expire the day previously, October 6^th, 2023 (apparently, the creator confirmed the game takes place in 2023, so, that means that Ed arrives on October 7^th, 2023, and the last person to enter park left on October 7^th, 2015).
Anyways, after that, AI Rambley leads Ed to Oceanic Odyssey with the intention to get it back up and running, as it has been closed due to repairs, something that AI Rambley hopes Ed can assist with. As Ed exits, he tries entering a hallway, which AI Rambley blocks.
AI Rambley: “Uh oh. That Rambley’s Ranglers room is only accessible by Royal Ranglers. Maybe you’ll grow up big and strong enough to enter it! But for now, don’t.”
This is the first instance of hierarchy within the Ranglers that Ed has been introduced to so far, and the dark undertone AI Rambley takes when he tells Ed not to go there is somewhat concerning. What exactly is AI Rambley hiding back there? Well, I have a few hunches.
Let’s point out the obvious regarding our friends, the Mascots; they’re not regular animals. Obviously, regular animals don’t have dark orbitals with thin white slits, or have turquoise noses, or have macaws the size of cassowaries. However, they are still animals, creatures of flesh and blood that act like their regular animal counterparts; Lloyd is an ambush predator, stalking until he himself is presented with an opportunity to attack. However, lions are known to just straight up attack if they are discovered by accident, especially if the prey is weaker and slower than them. Lloyd runs away instead of attacking.
Similarly, Mollie follows Ed warily, unsure of what to think of him for most of the time. She never aggresses until he enters her territory, and even then, she’s surprisingly lenient with Ed, straight up until he finishes those color-coded symbol puzzles. Only then does she attack. And even then, this is a behavior reflected in regular macaws as well, as these birds are fiercely territorial of their area.
So, these Mascots didn’t pop up straight from the ground, did they? They had to be bioengineered at the very least, mutated regular animals becoming the Mascots guests once knew and loved. They are, however, animals at their core, animals that do not attack for no reason. They try to deescalate the situation, as Lloyd does when he runs backstage, and when Mollie pulls herself back through the tunnels, away from Ed, and striding through the corridors, until she eventually loses patience and chases after Ed through Jetsream Junction.
I’d like to propose the theory that these Mascots were created in that area of Jetstream Junction, hidden underground and away from prying eyes. This is also where the Mascots were likely mistreated and abused, called horribly names at the very least, and endured beatings and humiliating acts at their worst. This is also likely where the Mascots originally snapped. After all, literally not a single guest understands why they were evacuated. Unless the guests who saw what happened were silenced, there should have been something floating around the Internet, on some obscure forum.
Now, why would AI Rambley hide this? Because he now understands that these Mascots are dangerous, a risk he cannot allow, since he enlisted Ed to bring the park back from the dead. AI Rambley realizes that Ed doesn’t have the tools to survive that area; perhaps because one of the Mascots lurks in there, locked away, or because he doesn’t want Ed to flee, horrified as to the scientific process that allowed for the mutated abominations to roam Indigo Park.
Regardless, Ed finally makes his way to the entrance of Oceanic Odyssey, home of the Mascot Finley. In fact, we actually get to see a glimpse of Finely’s actual size in one of the aquariums as his large head and long torso appear, before the chapter ends. I don’t believe that this is an animatronic, as electricity and water do not mix, especially animatronic with running current of electricity in water.
And that’s where Chapter 1 of Indigo Park, ‘Birds of a Feather’, ends off. Chapter Two will likely revolve mostly, if not totally, around Oceanic Odyssey and Mascot Finley.
So, I have two predictions as for where the next chapter might go. Based on the reactions Mascots previously had to Ed, I believe that Mascot Finley will not be attacking immediately. He’ll likely be observing, like Mollie, at least for a certain amount of time, until he proceeds to attack and harass Ed around his attraction. Ed will eventually get Oceanic Odyssey up and running, and have to leave Mascot Finley behind, as he’s still hostile and very much a danger to Ed.
The alternative to this is that once Mascot Finely realizes what Ed is trying to do, he stops being aggressive, and might instead become a temporary ally, allowing Ed to reach certain locations with his knowledge of the place.
Regardless of Mascot Finley’s ultimate fate, Oceanic Odyssey being powered on will likely catch the attention of Indigo. Based on the information we know so far, Indigo is still a well known, public entity. It’s possible that Indigo abandoned the theme park route, instead focusing exclusively on media such as cartoons, movies, and merch, or they might have other sister locations to Indigo Park. It’s unclear.
Whew. In the words of AI Rambley, this is a lot of information. Almost nine thousand words in, and we finally finish covering Chapter 1. So, let’s proceed to the Conclusion I draw regarding the story Indigo Park tries to tell, and the future events that might transpire.

Cannibal had made up his mind a few moves ago: If this kid doesn't swing this chair, doesn't absolutely fuckin' nail me, then he's getting taxed, and big time.
The kid's name is Rob Small, and he's supposedly some hot-shot rookie fresh out of the local school. But Cannibal doesn't get it. Everything about the kid bugs him, right down to the name. The sport lost something when people stopped calling themselves ridiculous things, like 'The Big' this, or 'Ultimate' that.
And besides, it's a dirty trick. It's too easy, just like everything the new kids are doing. It's almost too real. And the audience doesn't want real. They only think they do. Cannibal knows this better than just about anyone.
Cannibal feels that he's been carrying them both since the bell. Again, it's this new, soft shit. Flipping, and posing, and nobody wants a single scratch on their pretty mugs. The word fake doesn't exist in this business, but as Rob winds up for another one of his little tricks, all flare, no impact, you can kind of see where people get that idea.
Cannibal takes a knee, then another, but wide, because that's how you take a real hit. Rob pulls the chair back.
"Don't fuck this up," Cannibal says.
The blade of the chair just grazes Cannibal's eyebrow, opening two inches of scar tissue, and perforation.
This is good. Unintentional, but good.
The crowd isn't theirs yet, but the stream of blood pulls a few people forward and gets them almost leaning into the next row down.
The blood is good, no doubt about it. But the sound of skull on steel would've lit them on fire, and that's just science.
Rob moves to the ropes, taking a squeaky-clean moment to acknowledge the crowd. He waves his arms around like he's leading a marching band or something, and it "earns" him a small pop of recognition.
Here's the problem- there's no story here. No tale of the tape. Just some rookie nobody cares about, and an aging prick that people care even less about. This is when every move is supposed to count. Not just every move, but every transition, every facial expression too. The kid's athletic, sure. But so is everybody. He doesn't have the rhythm yet, and his nose is too straight. And Cannibal is tired of carrying this match.
Cannibal starts back on his feet, quickly, counter-intuitively, like a jump scare. The kid's finally connecting with the crowd now, lifting the chair like some intramural trophy. But it's too little, too late, and Cannibal sees his opportunity.
First Cannibal snatches the chair, up, and behind Rob, then steadies his giant, calloused fingers with a well-timed exhale. He whirls Rob around, ready or not, and drives the lip of the chair into the liver side of his waist, which folds him directly in two. The crowd chatters a bit, but he isn't finished.
Cannibal throws the chair less than a foot away, then sets up the move that's going to win the crowd.
He didn't invent the move, not even close. It's not even particularly uncommon. But he made his name off this move. Here's some wisdom from the old school: There are precious few people who make money from this business by looking good. And if you can't look good, you need to look vicious.
Cannibal hooks his arms under Rob's armpits, then wrenches both arms so violently that the triceps almost touch. Operating on pure panic, and instinct, Rob's legs unwind, independently searching for a better position, but never finding it.
"Hey, easy up there," Rob says from somewhere near Cannibal's midsection, but he may as well be speaking to the mat now.
Cannibal wrenches Rob's arms again, but this time the triceps touch for one moment of searing pain. He does this half for show, and half as a warning to keep quiet during his finisher. He looks out at the crowd, and their features form for the first time since he entered the arena. Before then, they were nothing, just a wallpaper pattern of merch, and facial hair. There's a difference between the individual faces in the first row, and the voice that fills the venue, and guides your match.
A single fan can be wrong, but a crowd never is.
But Cannibal takes some of that power back now, and he's staring at the crowd, the entity, right in the face, starting with the first row.
The first few faces that he locks eyes with are rabid, their eyes wild with anticipation. They're gesticulating wildly, like they can't believe, or can't wait for what's coming next. The next face is a little boy who shies away and looks at his dad for help. He scans about a seating section and a half, screaming spittle-seasoned insults along the way.
Mid-taunt, before anybody can count it off, Cannibal hits his finisher, The Flesh Eater.
Cannibal pushes off the toes of his boots, about a foot into the air, bringing Rob's craned arms with him. That's why you really need to wrench. With Rob feeling real pain at each arm's socket, he has no choice but to sell. At the height of his jump, Cannibal shoots his legs straight out in a wide V, unclenching his ass for a nice, cushioned landing.
Rob's face hits the chair a microsecond before Cannibal's legs, and underside absorb the remainder of the blow. It's enough to make the aluminum ring out into the high warehouse ceiling and put a pretty little face-sized dent in the seat.
The crowd reacts with screams, with horror, with finally, some fucking emotion.
Cannibal climbs to his feet, while the lights flick on-and-off, on-and-off in Rob's eyes. Rob props himself on his palms, and knees, finding the floor he wasn't even looking for.
But he loses it again with a big, booted punt to the ribs. The crowd boos now from every direction.
This is good. It means that right now, they hate Cannibal. It means that when they go home, they'll remember how much they hated him. It means that he did his job.
Cannibal takes a victory lap around the ring while Rob writhes in presumably authentic agony. Cannibal leans over the top rope, pointing at the front row again, dissolving the boundary between them. He's screaming at a fan. He may even be screaming at one hundred fans when he notices a face that shouldn't be in attendance.
Was it section B? He looks over but can't find the face anymore.
He darts his eyes wildly, unfocusing them so that the crowd transforms into nothing but eyebrows, and merch, approval, and disgust.
He glances back toward Section B, right around where he thinks he saw the face, right as Rob crawls from behind, hooks his leg, and rolls him into a three count.
Both men roll onto their backs; Rob, because the pain from his neck, down to his waist puts him there. Cannibal, because he's defeated and confused.
Had he really seen that face? He knows he hadn't. One, because that would make no sense. And two, because, and he only saw it for a second, but the face was significantly younger than it should have been. About 20 years younger. Which would put it right around a time that he doesn't think, or speak about. Cannibal decides that he didn't see the face after all. He doesn't believe in ghosts. Especially not ghosts that haven't even died.
***
Cannibal collects his pay, and the doc plugs up his gash, in that order. He's got a show in a bigger market tomorrow, so the butterfly stitches just need to hold until then.
He unlaces his boots in the parking lot, then trades them for some once-white Adidas from the back seat of his gray Toyota Camry. Then he thinks about the ghost again. The one that he didn't see, the one that isn't even dead as far as he knows.
He stands still in his untied sneakers and thumbs a few reps through his social pages. If he had died, the news would have picked it up by now. An old friend would have even messaged,
"Here if you need to talk." Or, "It's not your fault"
Something like that, anyway. But Cannibal doesn't see anything, no messages, neither of their names gracing, or disgracing any headlines. And besides, that doesn't exactly solve the issue at hand. Maybe the kids are right, he thinks. I've officially taken too many blows to the skull.
For twenty years, Cannibal has always driven to the next city, or the next stop on the road, the night prior. Tonight, he checks into the nearest hotel/rest stop that connects to the main road. It's only about a four-hour drive, three if he can avoid traffic, and the need to piss. He doesn't even need to check into the venue until 5 pm. That's ample time, he decides for the first time in his career.
"I just need a bed and a shower", Cannibal tells the night clerk, a pimply boy who has deepened his voice since the exchange intensified.
He's the only employee, except for a few maids pushing yellow baskets around the parking lot, and a few unofficially affiliated girls prowling around from the local skin bar.
The boy wants to avoid a hassle. He knows that the nearest signs of life are the old warehouse a few exits down, and the sheriff's office even further.
"I'm sorry sir," he begins, and he's really using diaphragm now, speaking to the back of the house, "But all's we got left tonight is the honeymoon suite."
"So it's $30 extra for a dirty mirror on the ceiling, and a vase full of plastic fuckin' roses?"
The clerk winces at the swear, then gleams over Cannibal's right shoulder into the mostly empty parking lot. Cannibal gives the kid his best mean mug, the same one that he'd shoot toward a new opponent or a crowd that hates his guts. The quiet moment lingers, and then, wouldn't you guess it, just like that, thirty dollars gets shaved off the tab.
Cannibal tosses his duffel onto the frilly red sheets, then rolls off his sneakers as his reflections oblige in both the ceiling and wall-length mirrors. He sits on the bed, then wiggles his toes a bit generating a sound like gravel crunching in a driveway. He wants to get up and shower off some of the dried blood that's clotted his hair to his face, but the world rocks, and spins, and he lays down and falls asleep without even killing the bedside lamp.
He can't remember the ramp, the fans, or the bell. He can't remember the promos, or what angle he's supposed to be taking. But judging from the dark cherry splatted canvas, and the ringing in ears, it's been a fuckin' barn-burner so far. He looks directly ahead, at the high, pipe-laden ceiling, and realizes he's on his back. A boot lands next to his head, then another. Maybe it's the high-intensity discharge lights that are stinging his eyes, maybe he's still rattled from whatever move put him on his ass, but as his opponent steps over him, he can't seem at all to make out their face.
Whoever his opponent is, he begins to pick him up by the hair, and that's when Cannibal notices that the abstract art on the mat has mostly come from the back of his head. Drops of blood race down his opponents wrists, and pool near his elbows. Cannibal is bent over looking down at the mat, at his opponent's standard-issue black boots, and at the fresh coat of bright red, which will soon dry darker.
His opponent cranks his arms clumsily but with intensity. He can feel his blood greasing his opponent's grip, not allowing for any real traction. Then his opponent's knees square up, then bend, and Cannibal realizes. "Hey, that's my fucking move!" he says, or tries to say, but his opponent's airborne, and then so is he.
Usually, there's a nice thud when you hit the mat, but not this time. This time it sounds more like a series of wet pops, like cracking your knuckles underwater. Cannibal tries to roll over and assess the situation. Then he tries to roll over again.
Oh. Shit.
He's face down on the mat, and he intuits, rather than feels his opponent hurry off him, and in that same foggy way, he can feel the crowd. The beast with one thousand eyes is silent, but it isn't bored. It's murmuring, but with a sort of upward inflection, like it's asking him a question can't answer. Now a referee rolls him over. Cannibal awakens in a panic and tries to jump out of bed, away from the red sheets, but his body is uncooperative. His head lolls at an unnatural angle toward the mirrored wall. He can move his eyes, but nothing else.
He wants to scream for the pimply-faced boy or one of the night girls, but nothing comes out of his mouth. He can see his reflection, the collapsed muscles in his face, and the pool of spit that's collected on the pillow by his ear. The parts of the bed directly under him appear a darker red than the rest of the sheets. His eyes roll wildly and take in different parts of the same wall that he's frozen on. He can barely feel his breathing, but he knows that it's sporadic and shallow. He keeps rolling his eyes, searching for a modicum of control over his own body. And that's when he sees him again.
The ceiling mirror casts its reflection into its wall counterpart, and with the furthest strain of his eyeball muscles, Cannibal can just barely recognize him. He's a little older than he looked in the crowd earlier, but it's unmistakable this time. Fucking ghosts. Ghosts who aren't even dead yet. From somewhere behind his eyes Cannibal feels the onset of rage.
His eyes blink involuntarily, and a well of tears are pushed, and guided down into the spit-soaked pillow. He imagines himself rocking forward and tries to send this signal to a part of his body that doesn't exist. He imagines it again. He tries to kick a leg, throw an elbow, he'll settle for anything. He sends that signal in random intervals like he's trying to surprise his own faculties. He "throws" another elbow.
Except this time his arm releases from his side and soars out in front of him. His body follows, and he feels a vile concoction of fear, and relief as he falls off the bed, with arms and legs too weak to break his fall. He narrowly avoids contact with the corner of the nightstand and lands with a thud on the carpeted floor. He wiggles his toes, and the sound of tires on gravel rings out into nothing. ***
After regaining some strength, Cannibal uses his recently renewed limb strength to tear through every creak, and crack of the hotel room. He finds nobody in the room, nobody in the mirrors, just himself and his aching fucking cranium. Exhausted, but no longer tired, Cannibal grabs his duffel and checks out of the hotel room by tossing his key in the general direction of the unsuspecting clerk. He tears his car door open, then drives off with only half a plan in mind.
The morning sun breaks as Cannibal pulls up to a red light, and re-reads his early morning text to the promoter, 'Can't make it tonight. I'll make it up to you somehow.'
He's never backed out of a show before, and he knows that he'll have to confront that fact soon, but right now, it doesn't seem to matter. He needs to see him. He cobbles his route out of headlines and news stories that he manages to search up between red lights and stop signs.
Where are they now? 6 Wrestlers Whose Careers Ended In Tragedy The Real Story of Ernie "The Eagle" Samson Former World Champion Contender in Hospice After 20-Year Battle
Cannibals mind races as single sentences fire out at him like shrapnel. He scrolls past his own names, both gimmick and government a few times over. He feels the rage, and tears form behind his eyes again.
You weren't the only one that lost your legacy that day, you prick.
After twenty years he knows these roads well. Well enough to cruise over to the hospice unassisted by a map, or GPS. He acknowledges his thoughts as his motions become routine.
Ernie Samson was poised to be the next big thing back before all the wrestling territories got swallowed up by the Big Guy in the corporate machine. He was a handsome bastard, and a city man with the strength of a farm boy. He could talk fear into the crowd without raising his voice, and he pulled women who didn't know and didn't care what he did for a nightly living. Cannibal hated him, but in a brotherly way that was steeped in admiration. Even in those times, Cannibal was more brutish and uglier than everyone in the locker room. It was a stroke of momentary genius when some otherwise dipshit promoter first suggested that they pair up. Some sort of beauty and brawn type gimmick. The monster and his mouthpiece.
And you know what? It worked. People ate that shit right up. Cannibal chewed through his opponents with ferocity, while Ernie dazzled the crowd with his mixture of strong style, flips, and tricks. They melted the imaginary territory perimeters and became shooting stars in every market they played. Men paid off their tabs at the bar, and Ernie was gracious enough to send some trim Cannibal's way every now and again. It was a nice system, comfortable even.
Then that dipshit promoter had another bright idea. The team was ready to break up.
The way he described it, they'd take all that heat they had amassed together, and cover double the ground. This storyline was a natural, mostly because it was real. What the promoter was saying, in his dickhead way, was that Cannibal had served his purpose. He'd put the real star in place for his meteoric rise. Cannibal looked at where his career was, and how far it had come, and he agreed. They'd go out in one final bloodbath of a match, and defeat their current rivals, The Maniacs. Then Cannibal would attack Ernie, severing their ties, and launching their individual careers. Cut, dry.
Right up until the end, that match stands in Cannibal's memory as his finest work. If he'd been vicious before, he was rabid in this match. The hits were real, the emotions were high, and the crowd invested in every last pectoral twitch. After nearly half an hour of slogging and bruising, Cannibal hit his finisher and covered his opponent to the tune of twenty-something-thousand screaming fans. As the three-count fell, the crowd hit a decibel that he'd never heard before. They were screaming so loud, that it almost dampened in volume, and became a whisper in his ears.
The Maniacs had done their jobs well, bloodying and bruising Cannibal and Ernie for a gruesome glamor shot that would make the following day's paper. That image, of Ernie raising Cannibal's arm before the inevitable turn, would haunt almost every article written about either of them from that day forward.
Soaked in the moment, and each other's blood, Ernie hoisted Cannibal's arm, and they spun the ring, facing every single fan in attendance. Normally you'd wait for a break in the volume before the next big moment, but this crowd had no intention of quieting down. They faced each other, and Ernie mouthed the words.
"You ready?"
To this day Cannibal doesn't exactly know what went wrong. First, he felt sadness. Then he felt anger. He realized that the cheers wouldn't end for Ernie, but there was a very real possibility that this was his own last big pop. He went ahead as planned. First with an absolutely brutal kick to the midsection, which softened Ernie's abs into dough. Ernie let out a real, dry cough as the crowd's cheers morphed into shock and confusion. Then he cranked his arms, clumsily, but with intensity. Ernie's arms were slick with blood, and Cannibal couldn't sink in his hooks correctly. His legs shot out gracelessly, and rather than hearing the cushioned thud of his own ass, all he heard was a sick, wet pop.
Cannibal notes that he is about one exit from the hospice, and shakes his head vigorously as if to erase his thoughts. The exit approaches, and he cuts in deftly. He is immediately greeted by a green, bustling town, in a decent Midwestern neighborhood.
He cruises toward the hospice, passing a few young couples, and their church-clothed children. Bells chime nearby, and a dog emits a medium-sized bark from a nearby public park.
Cannibal glances in his rear-view as he changes lanes. Ernie is seated behind the middle console, smirking, but with no joy in his eyes. Cannibal tries to scream, but can't.
With the wheel slightly angled for his turn, Cannibal cruises subtly across lanes, onto the sidewalk, then into the park.
The first few couples dive out of the way with synchronized, but inharmonious shrieks. A young man pushes his wife and child to the ground, and the driver's side front wheel crunches, and shatters his ankle. The next few people aren't so lucky.
A group of friends sprawled across a picnic blanket snap around toward the source of the commotion just in time to greet the Toyota Camry's fender. Cannibal's eyes dart between his windshield and the rearview where Ernie sits smirking. He sees a young woman snatched from his sight line and hears a gunshot of a pop as the back of her skull smacks against some concrete. Tears roll down Cannibal's face as he wills his arms, legs, or fucking anything to move. The litter of bodies test the car's shocks, as the wheels find their way over strange terrains of bone and flesh. Then, a street lamp.
Cannibal's forehead smacks against his wheel a millisecond before the airbags deploy. He flinches, and his arms twitch as the bag chafes his nose and brow. He has regained control of his movement, if only slightly. He kicks open the door but does not face the trail of mayhem that succumbed to his vehicle. Instead, he realizes that he is just one block away from the hospice. With the remaining screams a comfortable distance behind him, he half runs, half stumbles to the reception desk.
People react to Cannibal's arrival with appropriate confusion and terror. The butterfly stitches have ceased to hold, and a rigid pattern of blood trails him as he staggers across the linoleum tile.
"Sir, do you need help?"
"Samson. I need Ernie fucking Samson."
He peers over the desk and sees a directory of sorts, like a cheat sheet of hospice patients, and their assigned rooms. He leaks blood from his brow over the counter, and onto the sheet, and the seated receptionist recoils with disgust as he snatches and reads it.
Ernie Samson 211
Cannibal marches now on sturdy feet to the nearest stairwell. A small security guard attempts to stand in his way, but Cannibal dwarfs his face with his gigantic palm, and smashes it into the drywall behind him, eliciting a collective gasp from the lobby waiting room. He kicks open the stairwell door and drags himself up the single flight of stairs onto the landing. Then he kicks open the second door.
Nurses gasp and take a step back as he emerges from the stairwell, ferocity emblazoned across his face and written in his scar tissue. He observes the direction in which the numbered rooms flow and stomps toward Room 211.
Half a dozen people are stood outside the room, with hospital staff accounting for only two of them.
"Bradley?" an older woman asks, as Cannibal tears past her, and into the room.
Inside the room is a white sheet spread over a series of lumps on a lightly inclined bed. A young man is seated near the side of the bed where the railing has been temporarily removed. His eyes are bloodshot, and his cheeks are damp.
"Brad, what the fuck is-" he begins to say.
Cannibal lifts his leg and boots the man right off the green cushioned chair. Then he turns to the white lumps and tears the blanket off.
Ernie's face appears as it did in his back seat but without the rigid smirk. The muscles in his face are weak and sag as if they'd collapsed several years before his death. His dull eyes are still open, still staring at Cannibal.
"Ernie, you fucking prick," Cannibal starts, "You fucking prick, you get back here right now! You gonna fuck with me? You gonna fuck with me, Ernie? I fucking made you Ernie! We both fucking died that day!"
A small militia of security guards pour into the room, and it takes every last one of them to restrain Cannibal. He fights, and squirms as the fattest guard sits on the wide of his back, and pulls his arms. Cannibal thrashes and screams like an animal as he is restrained. He bashes his face into the tiled floor, leaving increasingly large spots of blood at the sight of impact. The fat guard applies some pressure to his hold, as small, wet pop emits from Cannibal's back.
There's no story here. No tale of the tape. Just a has-been wrestler in tomorrow's headlines, and a family mourning a loss that begun two decades prior. The crowd of mourners gasp and scream as all the fight leaves Cannibal's body at once. Then a woman breaks into sobs. She used to know Bradley Hughes. The real Cannibal. But nobody wants real.
They only think they do.

Since I built my Terra PC back in November, I've had issues with their B650E-I board specifically and I've decided to RMA it.
I have a unique problem where the RAM won't POST on a reboot of the system. Shows a yellow light, and it'll get stuck there. You have to turn off the power supply, let the caps from the motherboard drain, and then turn it back on. Or disconnect it from the wall, whichever is easier. Integrated graphics with my 7800X3D doesn't work. It'll artifact and then BSOD as soon as Windows loads. Now I have this new issue where sometimes audio to my speakers through the optical port in the back just stops working and I have to restart my machine (doing the annoying above process) to make it work again.
I'm not sure if I was just sold a lemon, but these weird problems have reached the end of my patience so I'm going to issue an RMA. Do you have to pay for shipping? How long does it usually take them to fix the issue? I have no idea what to expect and there isn't much info about it online. If anyone would like to share their experience, I would be grateful; especially considering the recent controversy they've had

I just want to state that I was technically on my probationary period, having only worked there since the 3rd of march until the 30th of may. I'm already aware of the fact that I need to have been working for my employer for at least two years before I can appeal for being unfairly dismissed in my country, Britain. I just want to kind of vent and try and get some insight as to if this is my fault or if this is unfair.
So I was fired on thursday for, in the owners words "not being suited for the role." The message I was sent said.
"After consultation with the management and careful consideration, I am sorry to say that we will be unable to offer you further employment as it is felt you are not suited to the role. I know that this will be disappointing as you have put a put a lot of effort into your work and I will be sorry to see you go."
This message came completely out of the blue, I'd worked the two days before, Tuesday and Wednesday both with the manager and the assistant manager, and everything seemed completely fine. The manager was new to the role and but didn't pay me any mind all day and the second day the assistant manager, who I get along well with and can actually have a full conversation with was talking with me about how well I was doing.
I'm going to be completely transparent I don't fit in well most places, I'm quite chatty once you get to know me, I will admit sometimes I can just tell that I'm annoying people. But that doesn't mean I don't have manners, I'm polite and friendly pretty much 100% of the time. There were times there where I'd get stressed or fustrated but at those times I usually just went quiet for a bit until I cheered up, which usually doesn't take me long.
I did everything I was meant to do correctly, for insight I worked at a cafe/coffee house and I was waitressing. I was fully trained; running food, cleaning, organising the book shelves we had, washing the rags we used and the hand towels for the bathrooms, till and serving customers, cleaning tables and washing up, sweeping, polishing tables and putting the chairs down in the mornings when we opened. The only things I wasn't trained on was food and the coffee machine, which I assumed were things I was going to be trained on once I'd been there a while. I wasn't aware that there were things I was doing wrong, and If there were I was never made aware of them.
I was polite and friendly to customers, I was always smiling, I know I was good at my job and the thing is I enjoy waitressing, I just feel like this has been a complete punch to the gut because I generally haven't done anything wrong and I was under the impression that this would be a job I'd have for a while and I really enjoyed working there.
There we're girls who worked there that weren't kind people, rude and arguementative with everyone, including me. I just don't understand how they've kept their jobs for so long yet I've lost mine so quick without even being given really a valid reason..
I did ask the owner what it was that made it so I wasn't suited to the role but it's been almost three days and he hasn't replied.
I have a feeling the owner is the kind of person to frequent reddit. I know he'll know who I am if he reads this, so in the case that he does please know that, yes, I'm disappointed, I worked my ass off trying to prove that I was good at my job yet you fired me anyway. Thanks for that, thanks for giving me no warnings or feedback as to how I can improve.

I’ve been playing for almost a year now and I’m on level 74. The only reason I found this sub is because I was trying to get rid of that fossil. At first I was really invested. The game does that to you. You get rewarded pretty quickly. I think it mellowed my mind to tap the screen 100 times as fast as possible. It’s easy to get up to level 20. After that it’s a little more effort. Then they start giving you auto producers so you come back more frequently. Then the auto producers start paying off and you want to play even more frequently. When I got to the sewing machine I wasn’t haven’t fun anymore, but I kept playing and using the auto producers. Once I retired that I was good again until I hit the pet certificate. By this time I had the vines, the ice cream, the jewelry box, and the light bulb. I would open my open as often as I could to “milk” those auto producers. I made a lot of money with those vines. I’d sell 3 tiaras a day, 2 globes a week, and multiple times a day I’d sell from the vines. I made 2-3 dream catcher a week. I was just kind of waiting around earning tons of coins, but I still had those darn pet items. So, I started only filling orders for tools so I could level up as quickly as possible and get rid of those pets. I found that I didn’t like how obsessed I got with those auto producers so I merged all of those and stored them. Now, I play because I like it. I really like the circus and the gothic coffin. If it’s a high price item I just accept that it might take me a few days to make it, but it’s not worth stressing and definitely not worth spending real money. Breaking free of that every 15 minute habit of checking auto producers feels really good. I’m playing as fast as I can, which isn’t very fast. I watch all 4 commercials per day for the extra energy. If I have 10 diamonds I’ll buy that energy too. I only pop the bubbles that you can watch an ad for. You’ll figure out how so much more valuable some bubbles are than others. Also, sometimes you’ll want to pop a bubble on something you’re actually working on, but you only get 3 of those per day and you’ll realize that if you just wait you’ll get the option to pop a bubble on an even higher item. You don’t win this game. It’s just a place to waste time. If this is stressful for you maybe it’s time to put the phone down.

Hello, I am looking for someone who’s up for a challenge.
I have a CCTV Tester - IPC-1800ADH Plus. It cost me around $220. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s pretty much a spot monitor for CCTV testing, as well as a network tester with RJ45 connections, PoE Injector, etc. it’s a great tool for my small business.
The problem is that after using it for about 6-7 months, one of the apps started acting up. Support recommended me to do a factory reset. Well doing so deleted almost all of the apps. I spent months trying to get support from them, but I discovered they are only a sales company. In fact, there are easily at least 5-10 companies selling this exact same unit. I informed them I could reinstall either the apps or the firmware image if they simply provided me access. That was about as bad as asking them to donate a kidney or something. So I decided to try on my own.
Here’s where the challenge comes in. THERE IS NO USB CONNECTION ON THE DEVICE ITSELF. This is an android system, running Android 10 Oreo I believe, so it functions the same as a tablet, except with custom firmware to run the CCTV Tester as the main system. It has a SD Card slot. It has WiFi. It has a LAN connection. I can reboot into recovery mode. It offers the ability to run ADB or load an image off the SD Card. I can install APKs. It has access to developer options. Even the OEM unlocking feature is active. The problem is that the bootloader is not unlocked. It is not rooted. And without a USB connection, I have no idea how to give it any commands. I can access the image via SD card, but of course it denies the installation because of permissions. I’ve tried using root unlocking APKs but they don’t work. Half of them are false advertisements and doesn’t even offer unlocking services. The other half requires you to vote 5 stars in order to run the program, but only gives an error when you click the link. They’re most likely fake replicas of a once working app anyway. I can FTP into the machine, but only when the OS is running. I can see the root files when using a 3rd party FTP app, but I cant actually open or transfer any of the files because of permission issues - which is expected. I’ve opened the machine up to see if there is a hidden USB port for admin, but nope. Though I did see the words “update” printed on the board, next to 5 empty solder pads in a line. I’ve never seen that before and have no idea if it’s relevant to what I need. I’m all out of options here and am turning to the experts. BTW, I am NOT a programmer - I know almost absolutely nothing about the terminology, requirements, etc. It’s completely foreign to me. Anything I’ve done thus far has been on a learn as I go basis.
What I do know so far is that the chip manufacturer is a company called All Winner. Again it’s Android 10, Oreo. The device is called “Guess What”. I can get any other info that might be needed to help you out. I know TWRP recovery would be useful, except one doesn’t exist for this device. Any help would be appreciated.
Last note - and sorry this is so long, but I’m trying to give as much info as I can. I’ve already purchased a replacement, so I have the full system. I’m trying to get an exact duplicate or replica or ghost image of the system while it’s intact, with all apps installed, or if that’s not possible, at least copies of the APKs, as I can’t find any of these online anywhere. I’m guessing whoever installs the software does the apps after the firmware, which is why a factory reset deletes them. And they are accessible locally only. The reason I want to do this is so that if something like this happens again, I can just reinstall everything myself since there is no real support for it. $220 is too much to spend, especially when all I need is the software to fix it myself.
If anyone feels they’re up for the challenge, please feel free to reach out and I’ll provide whatever info I can to help. You may have to give instructions, but I can follow directions pretty well.
Thanks in advance.

Chapter 1: The Oddest Blue Ball
…Welcome to the Ai circus….
…Brains are breaking, systems nervous…
‘He’s been acting really odd recently…’ Murmured the said person’s self-proclaimed best friend as he shuffled his cards, eyeing the others for validation of his statement.
‘The Earth you mean? Umm…yeah I’ve been trying but-’ The Satellite was cut off by none other than the most hot tempered planet among the terrestrials.
‘Yeah, yeah whatever, can we ever talk about something else?’ Venus grumbled.
‘Calm down Venus, he’s our friend.’ Mars instructed firmly.
‘Whatever, isn’t this pipsqueak always with him? What are you doing anyways?’ Venus asked sharply, turning his attention to the quiet satellite.
‘He told me to give him some time, I didn’t want to but…’, Luna sighed deeply, ’-Here I am.’
‘You should go back, he can’t be alone for long’ Mars expressed his concerns.
‘Maybe’ Luna answered, his thoughts getting scattier as he drifted away, ignoring the confused stares of the planets, who resumed playing cards.
The Earth has been acting odd in the sense that he had stopped talking, almost to everyone, including but not limited to Luna. He’d put on acts after the revolution of joviality, but really the only mood he seemed to be in was apathetic. Like an actor on the stage, the only time he spoke up was to correct factual errors, much like Jupiter but more condescending and for the purpose of belittlement and personal jabs, which are frankly out of character, giving fits of sarcasm was another problem. Like the apology to everyone meant nothing to him.
The thoughts would remuniate through the satellite’s head multiple times, failing to provide any solution to the problem at hand.
It was a while before Luna reached his orbit near the Blue ball, who was facing towards the asteroid belt and muttering in an almost funny manner, holding stacks of papers in his hand.
‘Hey Earth…what’s that?’ The satellite peaked through his shoulder, making the planet jump and obscuring the sheets from Luna’s view, who only managed to catch the word,’revolution’.
‘Moon, how many times have I told you not to be so quiet?!’ The Earth picked up his usual cynical dripping with a touch of acerbic tone.
Luna rolled his eyes, already prepared for the acidic encounter, praying moons such as Ganymede and Europa don’t find out about these recent developments,’Ugh, right, what is that anyways?’
‘None of your business.’ The tone filled with intended venom.
‘Look Earth I know the revolution has been-’ Luna launched into the same speech he has given a thousand times in a matter of weeks.
‘It’s not about that revolution, so shut up.’
‘Can you not act like a jerk for two minutes?’Luna snapped, delivering his out of character statement, he knew it was a bad move as soon as the words escaped his mouth.
‘Ugh, whatever Moon, just leave me alone, I told you I don’t want to be your friend!’Luna flinched hearing the words, he still hasn’t gotten used to them.
‘You’ve changed Earth you weren’t always-’
‘What do you expect? Look…don’t make me say something I’ll regret, hang out with Titan or whatever.’ Earth avoided eye contact.
‘As you wish, Earth.’
Luna left the scene, unsure whether Earth saw the teardrop rolling down the said satellite’s cheek, his planet’s indifference was starting to affect the moon, Luna wandered around in the asteroid belt, he didn’t immediately react as he bumped into someone. He looked straight, it was a slightly smaller satellite curiously studying him as if he were…what did they call? An artifact in the paleontology department, somewhat.
‘I’m sorry, who are you again?’
‘Great question…’ The smaller celestial mumbled.
‘What did-’
‘Umm, Luma! Yes, Luma’s my name, I am not sure..I mean sure!’ The satellite stammered, acting like a total mess.
‘Uh okay, nice to meet you, I'm Luna.’
Luma is staring at the celestial awkwardly, possibly due to the unobscure similarity in the names, Luna stares right back, spacing out for a bit.
‘Sooooo Luna? Like Earth’s moon?’
Luna cringed at being referred to as an object but he didn’t not correct the newcomer, he was a little estranged out, Luma looked familiar…but unfamiliar…
Is he a Moon? Is he a planet?
But perhaps the oddest observation was perhaps Luma’s reaction, as if he didn’t know who the former satellite was, but weren’t all Moons in the revolution? Is he a dwarf-
‘Hello? Umm…Luma to Luna? Earth to Luna? Solar system to-’ Luma continued his rambling, the weird analogies, the former Moon could only think about the familiarity of the situation…that was so unfamiliar.
‘Right, sorry, hey are you a dwarf planet?’
‘I’m a Moon actually…’ Luma answered, unaware that he had opened a Pandora of questions.
‘I know it’s stupid but I think I’ve never seen you during the revolution.’ Luna smiled apologetically, expecting a yes and a possible hypothesis that he had missed the satellite in the 300 moons besides the other celestials.
Instead Luma stared at him blankly with an open mouth, it was only for a fraction of second but the doubt was planted in the delayed reaction.
‘Um, yes! I-I probably missed you too.’ The latter laughed nervously, Moon could tell there was a layer of superficiality and sense of lie…the same aura he gets around Earth these days.
But he ignored it.
‘Okay…bit odd you know, you’re so-’
‘Noticeable? I knowwww right..??! It’s so weird, um, gotta go!’
‘Wait I-’
But Luma was already rushing towards the other side, to the terrestrial side of the solar system, The Moon felt a weird excitement in his stomach that he couldn’t point out.
Was he the Moon of jupiter?
He’s almost as large as me…
What is he hiding?
Did he not know about the revolution?
Why is he so familiar?
Why is he going to the terrestrials?
What is the weird energy?
The questions haunted him but he shook his head, reassuring that it was a weird coincidence, but his face….
Luma’s face looked so nostalgic…The bright golden eyes, the silver-golden lining, the sun symbol in his hair…
Wait, a sun clipping?
All the other moons would only wear Lunar clippings…
Who was he?
(1000 words)
Chapter 1.5: Keeper
…You can run but you can’t hide…
A few days before:
‘Will you just ignore your friend?’ Sneered the sinister voice from nowhere.
‘No, no, no, I won’t do what you ask.’ He called out desperately.
‘Just keep an eye on him, won’t you? my dearest friend?’The voice replied.
‘No, no, no, I won’t hurt anyone!’
‘You’re not hurting anyone, but I will if you don’t obey me.’ The voice turned murderously melodic and sweet.
‘No…I am not your friend, i won’t-’
‘Won’t what?!’The voice boomed in his ears.
‘Won’t hurt…won’t spy…’ he whimpered.
‘I see, you won’t keep an eye on things?’
‘N-no.’
‘Well then…say goodbye to your precious friends…’
He didn’t flinch but fear rose in his chest as his heartbeat grew painfully faster and his stomach twisted tighter into a knot, he was ashamed…
Because he didn’t care about his friends.
‘Acting tough? Alright, what if I offer you freedom?’The voice was behind him now, it was charismatic in nature and soft in tone.
‘No…you won’t…’ He gasped, the words right on the tip of his tongue, burning.
‘A place you can call home…without him to bother?’
‘…I’ll do anything…to get out.’ The words vomited out before he could stop as a look of abhorrence rose on his face as he realized he had just made a deal with the devil, a sudden feeling of nausea hit him, dizziness took over him.
‘Good.’
(230 words)
Chapter 2: The Stranger
…I don’t control the words that I say with my mouth….
…They sent us a saint but then made him a clown…
‘Europa, babe, do you know who this Limmy-Luma guy is?’Ganymede frowned as he straightened his crooked baseball cap, looking at the dainty satellite in front of him.
‘Who?’ Europa grumbled, looking down, probably pondering about the revolution and the smaller moons.
‘I met this guy, he was weird babe.’ Ganymede shook his head, the machine in his head furiously working to place the stranger’s head, like an earworm, only for memory.
‘Could you be more specific, Ganymede?’ Europa scrunched her eyebrows in annoyance, which the former thought looked cute.
‘Didn’t pay much attention Europe, but he was kinda similar to Earth’s Moon.’ Ganymede whistled through the non-existent air.
‘You mean in size, Ganymede?’ Europa’s voice hit a condescending note, but Ganymede could tell she wasn’t really irritated.
‘Yea, he didn’t talk much.’ the latter shrugged but before he could stop himself he caught himself saying the following;
‘His face though, yea, it was really familiar, ‘Ope you listening?’ Ganymede looked up, snapping from his thoughts.
‘Oh right, I don’t think I’ve met him, Ganymede.’ Europa looked at her boyfriend thoughtfully.
‘wasn't really that small either.’ the latter frowned as suspicion aroused him.
‘Whatever, we should be focusing on our plan for equality, not some stupid stranger you just met.’ Europa snapped, probably her anger about the failed revolution.
‘Whatever Europe…’ Ganymede murmured as he toyed with his cap, something about the stranger not sitting right.
A smaller satellite nearly crashed into him, Ganymede looked at the crasher angrily, only to raise his eyebrow.
‘Earth’s Moon? What are you doing here, Earth didn’t tear into rings?’ Europa spoke up, vinegar dripping in her words, before Ganymede could interfere.
The Grey-silver moon stared at them not uttering the word, Ganymede didn’t need empathy to sense something was wrong, not that he cared.
‘You’re still not…out of commission?’ The latter looked bored.
‘Shut up…’ Earth’s Moon muttered and drifted off to Saturn’s orbit, most likely looking for Timmy.
‘What's up with him now?’
Chapter 2.5: The Stranger-2
…I don’t control the words that I say with my mouth….
…They sent us a saint but then made him a clown…
Luna ignored the piercing glares from Ganymede and Europa behind him as he drifted into the orbit of one of his friends, namely Titan. He didn’t have the time,, energy or confidence to deal with snarky comments about his home planets,
Mainly because he was starting to question his own faith.
He didn’t notice as the friendly Jovian Satellite greeted him,
‘Hey Earth’s moon- I mean Luna, how are you?’ Titan gave a sheepish smile, clearly embarrassed about the slip up.
‘Hey Titan…been a while huh?’ Luna smiled weakly, Titan must’ve sensed something wrong because,
‘What’s wrong? Is it about the Earth? Please don’t tell me he-’ Titan rambled, although he had forgiven Earth, obviously he couldn’t help but be suspicious of the planet, Luna hated how he was right.
‘It’s nothing…’
‘What did he say now?’ the former sighed.
‘Just been acting weird, alarmed all the time…As if someone was trying to hurt him.’ Luna frowned, the last part came out satisfactory in an odd manner, Titan raised an eyebrow, clearly worried.
‘I don’t know, like you know him better than I do.’ Titan shrugged, he didn’t seem to care much.
‘Hey Titan, do you know about this weird moon? Is he one of Saturn’s ?’
‘Huh?’ The jovian seemed a bit confused as to what Luna was talking about.
‘It's nothing…’ Luna sighed for the lack of answers. What was his name? Luma?
Titan blinked before answering, ’You mean Luma?’
‘YES! Do you know him??’ Excitement buzzed through the terrestrial satellite’s body.
‘Not really, I met him a while ago, claimed to be one of Saturn’s moon, but when asked about the revolution, he seemed at a loss of words.’ Titan answered, looking mildly disturbed.
‘Do you think he’s lying?’
‘Maybe, but everything is so strange these days, Saturn’s been acting freaked out, he’s barely letting me leave the orbit, talking in hushed tones with Jupiter, then you are talking about how Earth’s acting strange. I suppose Luma could be a new moon that has missed the announcement, because I’ve never met him before.’ Titan explained, he shuddered while saying the words, it might just be the chilly temperature but Luna wasn’t sure.
‘I see…thanks for your help.’ The latter couldn’t help but pout his disappointment.
‘But me and Titania talk sometimes, she’s really cool!’ Titan added cheerfully, discarding their previous conversation, Typical, Luna thought.
They chatted for maybe about 30 minutes before Luna thought about going back to his orbit before Earth went ballistic missile mode and refused to talk for another week. It's like dealing with a child , Luna thought to himself, before scoffing, Titan raised an eyebrow.
‘Thinking about Earth?’ he asked in a bored tone.
‘How did you-’
‘Because that’s all you do.’
‘No that's not true-’
‘Calm down, was just trying to point something out…maybe spend a little time away with him, you can hang out with me?’ Titan grinned like an idiot.
‘Whatever…’ Luna put his palm on his forehead as the knot in his stomach tightened.
Luna waved Titan goodbye as he made sure to avoid the moons of Jupiter while returning, out of nowhere a hand grabbed him and turned him around.
Luna grabbed an asteroid ready to attack the stranger…
It was Luma.
‘WHAT- why are you-?!’.
Not a wise decision to yell, Luma shoved his hand on the former satellite’s mouth and shushed him without uttering a word, he seemed tense, The Moon stopped struggling out of fear.
Luma had paled, ’Don’t turn around Earth’s Moon…or it’ll get you…’
The Moon took a chance and being stronger pushed the former aside, turning around to see…
Just asteroids.
Luma blinked, apparently confused, that slowly turned into his usual jumpy self as the satellite in front of him glared, anger blazing in his eyes.
‘I-I…don’t-’
‘What was that for?’The tone was steely.
‘I just thought-’, Luma stammered, clearly at a loss for words as he summoned his wild hand motions.
‘Though what you? We could’ve crashed.’ Luna glared at him.
‘Can’t explain…I have to go…’ Luma turned away again.
‘Wait you-’
He disappeared again, The Moon started mumbling in frustration as he started heading towards Earth, his day couldn’t get any better.
As he was about to drift away, something caught his eye, white, Luna grabbed it, it was paper, he frowned, something was written on it…typed?
“The Moon escape”
He began to read…
(1030 words)
Chapter 3: Rio Lee Heelshires
…the heelshire mansion, it’s a place you’ll learn to love…
…Welcome to my house, obey the rules….
It was a any mundane afternoon in the 1990s Chicago, a warm summer breeze blew right through Ophelia’s ash coloured, long hair as she swung her legs off the swings popping open a Stephan Hawking book titled, “The Brief history Of Time”, she turned a page as a familiar voice called out to her.
‘Ophie, quick! The new game is out!’ called out her twin Rio wearing a mask he usually does . “Ophie” jumped from the swing, leaving her book dangling in the seat, one step of carelessness and it might have fallen into the mud below, she didn’t care at the moment.
The two rushed to the other side of the Heelshire mansion to find their cousin, Enzo.
‘Zoh! Come quick.’ Ophelia called out as her younger cousin came rushing forward, dropping behind his puppets and the creepy ventriloquist dummy.
‘Is it out? Is it out?’
‘Come fast, Laurenzo just drop the dolls!’ Rio hissed at his siblings, clearly annoyed by his cousin’s obsession with dolls, typical, Ophie thought to herself as she followed her twin’s fast steps to the nearby arcade, struggling to keep up, by the looks of it so was Enzo.
Why did her older brother have to be so impatient?
It was the new pacman game, it had been released about a decade ago but the arcade only opened a few months ago so the games kept releasing one after another, needless to say Rio and Theo were obsessed so they kept dragging her into it, she didn’t care for the game but it was nice to see her twin not be overly cynical for a few moments in his life, as much as she loved him,
He was insufferable, although it might have to do something with his illness…
Needless to say they reached the arcade as monkeys would reach for a banana stall, even though Ophelia didn’t admit she loved some of the games, especially Q*Bert, she would toy with the game for hours.
The arcade was filled with heavy video game machines, each with Neon spray paint screaming for attention, the covers bright and colorful, and the consoles and controls worn out from being played so much by the locals, all connected to one port at the back, but the most noticeable detail about the video game arcade was the crowding around the new machine, Pacman.
Of course not, it was 5-10 people.
‘Aww, damn it, we are never going to get a turn.’ Rio slumped his shoulders, Enzo looked unfazed and maybe a little jaded.
‘We just might.’ Ophie remarked, as she pointed towards the line that got shorter with every furious nerd storming out.
‘Seems like a hard game.’ Commented Enzo, twirling his slightly curly hair.
‘Agreed.’
‘Oh my faint-hearted sloths for siblings, come on.’ He seized Enzo’s sleeve and dragged him into the line. Ophie wondered how he could afford to be so feisty with all the headaches, she followed nevertheless.
Turns out Ophelia was right, the newbie nerds lost pretty quick and in no time the line dropped to a quarter of its size, with more people crowding around the next player , who stormed through the crowd in a rage fit. Is this how I am like when I lose board games with my brothers? Ophie pondered over it, not for long as their turn came pretty quick.
‘I’ll go.’ Ophelia stated, both the boys looked astounded.
Ophie as she suspected was pretty bad, fortunately she had 3 quarters from saving up, which bought her brothers some time, she could hear them mumbling behind her as every kid in the arcade watched her screen intensely. Their conversation resembled somewhat this;
‘Look…the red ghost-’
‘Blinky.’
‘Yes, yes, it’s most aggressive, it comes directly for you.’
‘Mhm…’
‘And look, Inky tries to ambush you with Blinky, from the opposite side!’
The rest of the kids were turning their attention to the conversation.
‘Rio…look Clyde he almost stays in that corner and circles it.’
‘Pinky is trying to cut you off, Ophie what are you doing?!’ Rio sounded frustrated as his sister had somehow managed to get stuck in a T shaped spot, interestingly the ghosts didn’t attack her.
‘I think it’s a glitch…’, Enzo blinked and then grinned.
Ophie finally lost it, the game not her temper.
Rio pushed her aside with so much energy that she nearly crash landed on Enzo.
‘Rio! Seriously..?!’ Enzo looked more annoyed for some reason.
‘Oops, sorry.’, He didn’t seem sorry, all his attention invested in the game, the analysis seemed to have worked,
They were there for hours, okay one hour, Rio’s sister would’ve loved to tell you how many levels he crossed, except that she didn’t remember because she was playing Q*bert with her last quarter.
‘That was fun.’ Rio smirked at his siblings as he swung his legs on the swing.
‘For you, I didn't even get a turn!’ Enzo huffed, arms crossed.
‘Fine.’, Rio rolled his eyes,’You can have Ophie’s dessert tonight.’
‘HEY!’ the latter looked up from playing with the dummy in her lap.
‘Kidding, kidding, you can have mine.’
‘Seems like a good deal.’ Enzo smiled.
‘I still don’t understand why don’t you like Q*bert.’
Ophelia frowned as both the brothers exchanged a laugh, sometimes their word plays and jokes pass right over her head.
Chapter 3.5: Rio Lee Heelshires-Case
…the heelshire mansion, it’s a place you’ll learn to love…
…Welcome to my house, obey the rules….
‘Rio? C’mon your mother’s calling you!’ Enzo called out as he stepped outside the house and in the garden, which was beautifully maintained unlike the forest that was tucked right behind the house, Rio thought it was mystifying, Opheilia thought it was pest infested, there were two kinds of people in the world, Rio is in one category and the world in another, Enzo chuckled at his own thought.
‘Oye, Rio! I’ll eat your food if you don’t stop hiding.’ Enzo threatened, but he wasn’t sure it would work as he had enough trouble eating for one, plus he still had Rio’s desert.
He skipped around the garden, much to his disappointment he found no one, he wondered if he should check the forested area, as he strolled mindlessly.
‘Rio! This is not funny anymore…’ Enzo felt precipitation hit his face as his breath grew quicker and pace faster.
‘Big brother..?!’ The latter rarely referred to his cousin as “brother”, panic was settling in, fortunately his gaze landed in the right place,
On the other hand he would’ve preferred Rio to be missing…
‘W-what?’Enzo murmured softly, a look of horror settled on his face as his eyes burned with tears…
It was Rio alright and he wasn’t dead…he just seemed very close to being dead.
Countless bruises were present on his hands and legs as he leaned against a tree, collapsed on the soil of Earth, his eyes closed, Enzo hesitantly moved forward, he could sense his brother breathing, perhaps the most terrifying part of the scene was the black liquid drooling out of the corner of the former’s mouth,
He knew his cousin was sick,
He didn't know what sickness or how sick.
‘Rio…wake up…’ it seemed to have done the trick, the latter nearly jumped, smashing his head against his cousin’s, his pupils dilated, a psychology nerd like Enzo will know it was from fear due to the adrenal rush.
‘What- Y-you, don’t-’
‘I won’t tell anyone…’ Thankfully the darkness of night hid the crestfallen look on his face, besides he didn’t plan on sticking to his promise, Ophelia deserves to know. The situation felt too familiar.
Like what happened to his mother.
‘C’mon, we need to get out of here, it's not safe…I’ll help you clean up and tell everyone you are sick, alright?’
‘S-sure.’ Enzo helped his brother get up.
‘Damn it, you’re heavy…’
‘Shut your trap.’
Enzo wasn’t particularly happy about being told to shut up but he was relieved to see his brother going back to his normal self as he half dragged and half helped him to the house, making sure to take the back door and avoid Rio’s parents, Ophelia caught a glimpse as she was passing by but she didn’t speak a word and instead just avoided the two like a plague.
Thankfully the parents weren’t too worried about their children’s shenanigans as Enzo cooked up a convincing lie about Rio vomiting everywhere, nobody seemed particularly excited to go check up on the older twin so they ate dinner heartily, as much as they could muster that is, The Heelshires were infamous for being the most gloomy family around the block.
Ophelia didn’t utter a word the whole dinner, it wasn’t particularly unusual for her, she almost had an invisible, omniscient presence that allowed her to fade in white noise, but Enzo was certain it had something to do with the scene,
He met her after dinner in her room.
‘I know Lauren, he’s my twin and he’s not particularly good at hiding things.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?!’ Enzo felt his voice rising both in pitch and decibels, he almost rushed immediately to tell his sister, who could barely bother to offer the same courtesy.
‘Why exactly?’ She had her intelligent gaze fixated upon Enzo.
‘What do you-’
‘I don’t know if you are aware of yourself, but I don’t feel offering to be everyone’s personal therapist is a particularly healthy option for you that takes everything home.’ She said,
‘He’s my brother Ophelia…’
‘And I am your older sister, I think I know better.’ She cut him short, as if purposely trying to piss him off as she toyed with Enzo’s dummy.
He snatched it from her, her pupils contracted but her breath grew sharper and she looked as if she would attack her cousin.
‘I deserve to know Ophelia…we have to tell someone, we have to help-’
‘You can’t fix everything Laurenzo. The faster you learn the better.’ Ophie wouldn’t meet his eyes, it usually meant she is furious and the fact she called him by his full name.
‘But…’
‘No. Rio said nobody can fix it and I have an intuition he is right.’
‘Maybe he’s wrong…I mean we aren’t verified experts are we?’
‘Maybe you are wrong, enlighten me, how many times have you heard of strange black substances coming from teenage boys and bruises out of nowhere?’
‘...How about trying the library-’,
‘I tried, I tried to find anything, anyone that would tell me, every illness in the book from the library, there’s nothing.’ she looked as if she would burst out crying, that is what usually happens when he fights with her.
‘...okay, let’s find ways to help him.’ Ophie looked up, bewildered at his words.
‘But how? I looked everywhere.’
‘Every problem has a solution, we can be the first ones to figure this out, besides I can sense that his problems aren’t purely physical, they are psychological too.’
‘I feel that this might not work out, but as you wish.’ Ophelia responded after seemingly deep in thought, she looked up and a puzzled expression began to form on her face, Enzo quickly tried to brush off his tears, his cousin didn’t seem very impressed.
‘Why are you crying?’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’
‘Not to me, it isn’t, you just said we’ll figure out a solution.’ Ophie said.
‘How can you be so optimistic? I mean you weren’t a few seconds ago but you weren’t crying like a damn b-’
‘Eh, we need one sibling that doesn’t have real problems right?’ she smiled bitterly.
‘You shouldn’t dismiss your problems…’
‘I think you should follow your own advice first.’
She was right.
***
Ophelia knocked at her twin’s door the next morning, not particularly enthusiastic to engage in a conversation, it was hard to relate, hard to understand Rio, but she never understood people anyways, the illness, it had been five years since she knew, since Rio’s obsession with mask began, the numbness had settled in after a week and never left.
She knocked again, no reply, her frustration rose, she banged the door so loud at the third knock, that Enzo threw a cricket ball at her from the nearby room, before joining in.
‘You think he went out again?’ Ophelia asked, bored out of her mind.
‘I’ll check if his shoes are missing or not.’ Enzo disappeared downstairs as Ophelia’s mother started questioning him.
Ophie creaked open the room, the bed was messed up and no signs of civilization were found in Rio’s room, she frowned, Enzo’s ventriloquist dummy? But didn’t the latter keep it in his room last night? Clothes were distorted all over the place, books about wildlife, possibly over due on his desk.
‘He went out alright.’ Enzo came back, Ophelia closed the door, a blush rose on her face, as if a child was caught stealing candy.
‘He’ll come back.’ Ophelia reassured her younger cousin,
Or herself she didn’t know.
~
He in fact didn’t come back and was declared missing.
One day, she and her cousin found Theodore (her father) murdered, poisoned apparently and her mother sobbing hysterically in another room.
She knew who did it, she was glad he did it.
The killer hanged himself 2 days later.
(2000 words)
​

This has been a subject on my mind for a long time and I eventually plan to write a small pamphlet/zine about it. A little context about "my life online" may be necessary here but if you don't really care or feel it's relevant and would rather get to the analysis/criticism feel free to skip the entire next paragraph.
I'm in my mid 20s at the moment and my life online started early. When I was about 8 or so we got an old PC and I became extremely interested in it. I taught myself how to use it essentially and became more proficient navigating it than my parents even. I loved forum based websites, lurked and occasionally would talk on them aswell. I became familiar with 4chan and some of its scarier cousins. Played games like Runescape and lots of MMORPGs. I even got into worlds.com even though it was a little before my time. As a teenager I began learning about things like programming and got into TOR (not for those purposes just to explore 😂). I had a pretty solid social life, had lots of online and real life friends and the internet felt like this cool place I could go to and see anything. I also enjoyed social media along with many of my classmates and was pretty invested in Facebook during high-school, modding my own groups and having a pretty successful meme page. I was definitely an online type of teen but one of the coolest things about it to me. Is how anonymous it all felt. Sure some people would just be open books but me and many of my friends public profiles were usually goofy names and photos that we just thought were cool. There was no identity necessary.
The internet during that time felt different and much more "full". Typing random things into the search bar could be an activity in itself. In the early days of YouTube just scrolling the home screen would feel like you could stumble upon anything. From a nasally kid giving you a game tutorial to a creepy stop motion video that is supposedly "cursed". Everything was so much more novel. These days however everything is the same old shit. Most online content has been consolidated to a few powerhouse websites and if you want social interaction you better be prepared to use one of them (Facebook, Twitter, Tiktok etc). The days of ordinary people creating a website is overwith, fewer people ever move away from the giant platforms and search engines always prioritize them first. We're watching a relatively new industry monopolize before our eyes which I think for many young people is a first. The "wild west" the internet once was is being corraled. Google and Meta's tentacles go deep and it's borderline impossible to escape them online anymore which leads me to my next rant, tracking. Put on your tinfoil hats everyone.
Many people are familiar with Facebook being fined 276 million over a "data leak". For anybody who isn't more than 533 million users data was leaked. Meaning their photos, private text messages, status updates, locations, birthdays, phone numbers searches within the website and probably much more. Many people I've talked about it with seem to brush it off as no big deal but I don't think it's conspiratorial to ask why these websites need all of this information in the first place? Whatever happened to the basic username and password model where you could make an account in under 5 minutes. Google is even pushing people to add their biometrics to their systems, facial details and fingerprints. Amazon's even convinced everybody that putting a camera on your porch and inside your house make you safer. They store that data somewhere and what happens when that gets leaked next?
So why is all this spying and data storing necessary? Ads ofcourse. Ads ads ads. Billions of dollars and thousands of hours of manpower have been used to build complex computer systems solely for the purpose of reading through YOUR private searches and messages so they can show you ads that make you more likely to consume. Sure you pay Hulu however much a month to watch their shit but they'll make sure you see plenty of ads to make them even more money. YouTube has made the ads so unbearable that you basically have to get premium if you use it at work or on long drives. Literally bottenecking features they could give everybody just to make you give them more money. 31 billion dollars isn't enough. These companies will uncharge, spy on, bottleneck and choke us out as users any chance they get. Everything's a subscription now, and a more expensive one if you want to escape the ads.
To sum it all up. The internet is hallow now. It's one giant slot machine designed to keep you on it for as long as possible while draining you of any real enjoyment. The anonymity I spoke of in the early days is long gone as people pour their entire lives online for the world to see. Kids want to be influencers now, not basketball players and rockstars. Fame is no longer about becoming recognized for being actually good at something. The internet grooms kids to want to be famous just for existing, hooking them deeper and probably creating alot of psychological issues aswell all for the sake of "sponsors" who want to use this mass manipulation to push products. What the internet has become is truly a bleak place and its turning many of us into people so desperate for a sense of worth they lose their identity entirely. All for the sake of profit.

The good:
Greater affixes: GAs made loot more interesting and exciting, and added a long term goal/chase to improve the character and squeeze out more power in a moderate way without feeling too necessary. Single GA items are quite plenty and can improve the player power well if hit on the most important affix, and are also easily obtainable via trade. 3 GA items give the player something to chase after they hit a specific power level, so no matter how far you are in item progression, there is always something to make me excited.
The second great thing about Greater Affixes is that if you reach a certain item progression point, you dont have to bother with non-GA items anymore. Gone are the days where, no matter how far i progressed through a season, i had to spend an unfun amount of time checking every item, every rare and legendary that dropped for a potentional upgrade, because you could always miss out on that armor with triple damage reduction affixes for example. Now i only have to check my GA drops, maybe also non-GA Amulets, and can simply salvage/sell the rest without bothering. Reducing item affixes from 4 to 3 also speeds up the loot evaluation quite well.
Affix revamp: great additions, a lot of affixes i will never miss gone. Druid got spirit per second, helped in the early leveling stages alot.
Codex rework: this is the best change in this season so far, it opens up so much inventory space. Some aspects were quite rare, i had seasons where i only found one single max roll of a specific aspect many days into the season. The problem there was storing this aspect forever in the stash, because i refused to pull the trigger and use it on a subpar item. The second great thing about the aspect change is, that it encourages tinkering and trying out stuff, because you can now use it as many times as you want.
Tormented Bosses: A huge improvement of the Uber Boss Rotation Meta. Doing Uber Rotas in the past was extremly boring if you reached the point where these bosses died in seconds. They were loot pinatas for Uber uniques. You were spending most of the time running, sitting in loading sceen or selling stuff to the vendor. The actual gameplay lasted like a few seconds. Right now, the Tormented Uber bosses feel like a real challenge, i had a Group early in the season that wiped 10 times on Andariels last intermission phase until we downed her. That challenge was fun. Unfortunately the group leader got his/her achievement, and simply left the group. Guess who spend the mats on the first summoning. Dont be that asshole. At least, if you are the group leader, and miscalculated the power of these bosses, and just want to opt out, at least you could have asked the group to give the player who summoned a compensation, or ask if one of the people who havent summoned yet to leave and then find a carry who gets paid by everybody putting money together. Whatever, lesson learned.
Trading: Being able to trade all items except uber uniques opens up a new way of improving your character. It also makes item drops more exciting, because even if you find a good item that isnt useful for your build, you can trade it away and slowly accumulate enough gold to buy whats best for your current character progression and build.
I have to admid, trading is tedious sometimes, i use diablo.trade, i only put at least single GA items that have useful affixes for sale, and i dont use a fixed price but ask for offers. Mostly only 10-20% of what i have in store attracts buyers at all. Maybe because i play Druid, not the FOTM class this season. Furthermore, more than half of the bids i get seem to be lowball scams. Still, over several days, i sold plenty of items in a range from 5m to 75m, on average like 15m, and was able to accumulate 500m in this process. Still, the time and effort to put all these items for trade, check and learn the value of items, communicating with the seller quick enough so they still need the item and the actual trading was at least one hour time investment per day. I then used 75m gold to buy 2 GA pants to reach my Armor Cap, because that was my weakest item in my build so far. I was able to improve my weakest point in terms of item progression and reap the fruits of hours spending trading without only relying on drop rng. Then i spend another 100m to get a 2 GA Amulet, because that item slot was the very next best way to improve my char by giving me +4% crit and more movementspeed overall, replacing my non-GA Amulet. Unfortunately it was time to roll +2 Envenom on this amulet, 100 rolls and 300m gold later i got a few +2 skills rolls, but no envenom. RIP. Rng giveth and taketh away.
This is a bit offtopic, but i would love to be able to relist an item on diablo.trade. For Diablo 2 i use Traderie, and Traderie has the option to relist an item every 24 hours, so it appears on top of searches again. Right now on diablo.trade, if you dont sell an item after 2-3 days, it will rot in nirvana forever, unless it is a really good rare item that sells for 100m+. Nobody will browse 8 pages of listings until they see the your single GA item you posted 3 days ago. You can delete your old listings and relist them, but this is quite a time investment with how bugged the item reading service is on this page and could be made way easier by allowing to bump an item back to new with a single click like every 2 days or so.
The mixed feeling:
Tempering: Lets improve itemization in this game by simply adding another layer of gambling to it. Thx, no. I didn't mind it in the beginning, item drops were plenty, but as soon as i reached a point where item upgrades became quite expensive, where i had to spend days of farming and trading to accumulate the gold to be able to buy them, bricking these expensive items totally takes away the incentive for me to improve and bother about 2 or 3 GA items at all. It just feels bad to not hit what you need for your build and the fact that you only have 5 tempering attempts and most categories have 4 possible affixes makes bricking an items quite probable. Lets not talk about the fact that you mostly want to hit 2 specifix affixes. The second feelsbad moment is, when you actually hit your desirable affixes on the very first attempts, but they roll low, and you are stuck with the decision whether you want to use the 4 temper attempts remaining to improve the roll. From my experience, its not worth the try. Still, it feels weird to have temper attempts left, but using them will mostly brick the item.
What i would love to see:
at least give me the choice of keeping my old temper roll if i try to roll another time, similar to the enchanter. At least i can choose the very next best affix that shows up, so there are more usable, mediocre outcomes instead of complete bricks. And i still have the chance to create an item for a different spec, if my mainspec affixes dont show up at all. As Bob Ross said: happy little accidents.
The second idea would be able to reset or increase temper rolls, but make it expensive. Stygian Stones, huge amount of gold, Pit materials, or some dungeon/outdoor rare drop thematically fitting. whatever.
Temper affixes: the affixes you can get via tempering are a nice addition to many builds, they have unique effects, that havent been there before, but, in my opinion, some of them are a bit to powerful. Some are disproportionally strong compared to other affixes, aspects, uniques, paragon nodes. There is no second best alternative that comes close. It limits choice. Furthermore we have builds, that got a crazy power boost, and builds that got left behind. Maybe we could get more temper choices in the future, but hopefully they wont increase tempering rng and bricking even more. On the other hand you cannot compare apples and pears, because every build has its own stengths and weaknesses, so those tempers can help alot to improve a build in terms of playability/playstyle if it cant be fixed in a different way. I just hope this game doesnt develop into the direction of diablo 3, where itemization was dictated by effects like +500% damage to an ability, or + 10.000% dmg via set items. Changing those item slots was a mistake, and there was no other choice. Diablo 4 has a really interesting approach compared to D3, most skills, paragon nodes, affixes, aspects, or unique effects gave the player power increases in the 10-30% range, so a lot of these never felt obligatory. I'm still constantly changing two of my offenisve aspects in my build, because there is no clear winner. And dropping an offensive aspect because i feel like i need more survivability right now, doesnt feel like completely crippling my damage. There are of course outliners, like Shepherds Aspect, the very next best alternative is just too far behind, so it feels mandatory on many builds and occupies 3 ability slots on top of that. I wouldnt mind if passives, nodes, aspects or items currently overperforming in the game would be nerfed in the future, because from my experience nerfing power outliners (and some new tempers seem to be that case) creates more build diversity and freedom of choice/individualization. In short: there will always be a best setup for a specific environment, and the actual balancing act is imho about how far behind the very next alternatives or build are behind.
Masterworking: No opinion on that, feels like a long term resource/time investment to squeeze out the last bit of power. I'm currently running with the strategy to try to hit at least the first and second masterwork crit on one of the two most important affixes if i have an item that i will keep for some time, and dont care what the last masterwork crit will bring. Hitting all three on one specific affix feels not worth the effort. I came across an idea from a different redditor to allow to reset to a specific masterwork tier, so you dont have to start from scratch every time you want to give your slotmachine a new try, but honestly i dont care. Hitting the last MW crit seems to be something for perfectionists, and im ok with above average. As far as i could get behind the mechanics of MW, it seems that there is a potential to waste masterwork crits on +skill affixes, if you dont reach a certain breakpoint for the next level with that masterwork crit. But not 100% sure about that.
The Pit: Oh boy. What is happening on reddit. First of all, i'm really thankful that Blizzard implements content that makes me test my limits and sweat. It feels good to be the director of how much difficulty i want, simply by choosing which Pit level i want to go for. Chill day? -15 levels from whats my personal best. Wanna sweat and progress? Lets push my highest level so far. This will always be the case, every build, every player will run into a wall. Yes, classes are imbalanced between each other right now, but does it really matter? Sure it can be improved in the future, but right now you need Pit level 61 to have access to everything in this game. I don't know what people want, but if you are not a total newcomer to this game, and spend some time building up your character and to leran and understand the mechanics of this game or dont lack some skill, this doenst seem to be that hard to me for the last Tier that really matters and for content, that is supposed to test your limits.
Before season start i read about damage reduction affixes mostly being removed from the game, and that we get a new near-endless scaling late game activity, so i had the supposition that stacking life will be an important part of the players defensives. I went with 5 paragon boards this time, to grab every +% life node i could get on them. Yes, maybe i do 10% less damage than a 6-board that way, but +% life seems pretty busted in this game, because it always increases your current hp by this amount, regardless of how many +% you already have.
Boy, glad i did, those bosses were slappin. As i slowly climbed the pit, it was clear to me, that the bosses are the hardest part, and my first goal was to increase my hp even more, until i dont get oneshot by most of those abilities anymore. To be able to make mistakes every now and then without ruining the whole try. The bosses were the solely reason why i would fail climbing higher, not by running out of time, but by dying too often during the fight. I further tried to adapt my build to do as much single target damage as possible. Might need one more minute fighting trash, but i want to make the hard part of the dungeon as short as possible. This might change in higher tiers, i dont know. Improvise, adapt, overcome. I rock with +3 evade boots, because i want to be able to hit that evade button twice in a row, for miscalculated situations, where i couldnt afford to attack the enemy. I put methamorphosis aspect on my boots to have a second cc break against the naga eyes that stun, if i fail to dodge them, or simply to be able to get out of the vortex shadow attack, if i fucked up my trample cd, because it gives evade a bigger range. So far it worked. I'm currently sitting at pit level 95 with a few minutes left, feels ok for my homebrew human lightning storm druid. I am 5 levels away from pit 100, so i'm close to hit the damage income cap, after pit 100 the damage you take won't increase anymore. And i still have the possibility to add +life on my amulet and ring, to change my keeper glyph to give me +8% more life. I dont have Shako or Tyraels yet, items with very strong defenives, i'm at masterwork 8/12, most items only have one GA. So still a lot of room in terms of survivability. Most abilities are actually not oneshot. Unless your defensives are poor. Maybe i'm wrong, and some classes are struggling with survivability. But right now, for endgame, it seems balanced, because i already saw some videos, people facetanking those bosses with nearly best in slot gear. So if you have the fantasy to facetank the hardest content in the game, because this game is 100% action for you, there is hope. Give it some time. We are 2 and a half weeks into the season, and aquiring the best items takes some time and effort, to beat the hardest content in the game. and to be honest with the amout of stuff you get shoven up your ass this season with iron wolf and seasonal caches, having like multiple free tromented boss rotas, getting your uber uniques will happen eventually. You get free sparks, you can level alts to get more sparks. This season feels like christmas. If you know what you are doing and you have some exp from past season, if you just stick to the iron wolf and seasonal journey and spam your free mats you can pretty much rush to the highest content in like 3 days. It feels crazy.
Back to the Pit. I'm ok with the "oneshot" mechanics people complain about so far, the real problem i see is the frequency of those abilities, basically stage 3 in a bossfight. Against some combinations, i have like 10% damage uptime on the boss, and 90% i'm playing dodgeball. It's a little bit too much to be honest. Give the player some breathing room. Boss fights also feel punishing, because if you die at trash, you only get your death penalty. But if you die 3 minutes into the bossfight, because you made one mistake, you not only get your penalty, but also lose 3 more minutes. Maybe the timer could stop as soon as you reach the boss, then you still have 10 tries before your equipment breaks. Or bosses keeps the hp value they had before you died. Not sure about that, maybe that would be too easy. But overall, the difficulty ratio between trash and boss feels a bit off. I'm also not a big fan of those shadow attacks, because i would like to have bosses be thematically challenging. Wolf boss has an intermission with his pack showing up, snake has 3 more poison themed attacks, and so on. Having random shadow clones as the difficulty raiser feels thematically a bit off to me.
The bad: I didn't enjoy the leveling process that much. It was way too fast, and the content was a steamroll. I started every season on WT 2 so far, although people say WT 1 is faster leveling. But thats not my kind of priority. I like to have an actual feel of danger in the world when i start a new character, mob types matter to me, i want the bears and giant goatmen to whoop my ass if i dont pay attention. Still remember my first time in WT3 Helltides in season 1, mobs were actually an overwhelming force if you dived too mindlessly. Thats way more interesting gameplay for me, than everything being generic cannon fodder from minute 1. I leave that part for when i actually mastered my build, instead i enjoy a slow and steady power increase throughout leveling, and i honestly dont care if it takes a week to reach 100. the early game is an important part of the game for me, where i can try out a lot of stuff according to the loot i get to always have a different leveling experience every season. Well, it was probably my fault, i respected the capstone dungeons too much and did capstone one with 45 and capstone 2 with 60. the bossfights lasted like seconds. Next season i will try them earlier. Still the leveling was so fast i was drowned in materials, items, skillpoints, nothing really mattered as i would like to, items lasted for a few hours at best, i stopped spending my skillpoints at some point, simply because they were flying in so fast. The helltide never felt like hell, the only exception was the hellborne spawn after threat reset, and the blood maiden fire ring. Everything else was swatting insects. Helltide Commanders died in 2 seconds. I dont know, tempers and the new affixes made some parts of the game (also NMDs) being outscaled way too fast. Maybe the difficulties could be adapted, to allow for a more RPG style playthrough from minute 1.
For some people all this game is about is 100% loot. For others pure action, or rpg, in depth character build creation. I dont know, let everyone have something in this game. I personally dislike the helltides feeling like an amusement park, but ok, let the players who enjoy it have it. Im not a fan of loot pinatas. But every now and then its fun. Not everything has to be something for me. And the fact that they add more content, where you can choose your difficulty, is a great plus. (mindcage, pit)
Hope that's not too much overall negative feedback, because at long last, i'm having fun.
Thank you for reading, and may the GA stars shine upon you.

(Note: ‘retail’ refers to the regular Neopets website, currently owned by NetDragon, previously owned by JumpStart - thank you u/fancytables)
BACKGROUND
Before I begin this post, it is important to talk about what Neopets is and why a classic version of it was created in the first place. Neopets is a virtual petsite where you can own pixel pets, converse with other players on the neoboards, play games, meet people through guilds (which are like clubs geared toward certain interests), and partake in daily activities. Because Neopets is now a 24-year-old site, many of its users have been around for a while and remember what Neopets was like pre-conversion.
In 2007, Viacom (the company that owned the domain at the time) decided to “convert” all pets in order to introduce customization–a new site feature where you could spend real money to dress up your pets. While pre-conversion Neopets had dynamic poses and character, post-conversion Neopets were static and rather awkward. Most species and color combinations were automatically converted, but owners of certain combinations were given the option to keep their original unconverted pet. This drove up the value of unconverteds (otherwise known as UCs), and created a fierce trading system on Neopets. In a sea of converted pets, everyone wanted an unconverted.
Players had the option to trade around and work their way up to getting one of these highly coveted pets–but starting from ground zero often meant working on a singular trade chain for years, if not decades. This was a daunting task for many. Soon enough, there was a robust black market for unconverted pets…and when I say robust, I mean, people who desperately wanted these “UC” pets were flooding the “black market” with thousands of US dollars per year.
Millions of players who had been there since the beginning of Neopets would continue to be discouraged by the site's direction for years to come. In 2020, it was announced that Adobe Flash would soon be discontinued. With the termination of Flash, all the beloved Neopets games that relied on it were lost. Three years ago, Neopets further dug its own grave by introducing NFTS. Needless to say, the active player base has dramatically decreased over the years.
NEOPETS CLASSIC IS DEBUTED
Enter Neopets Classic (NPC), a fansite made to model early 2000s Neopets when there were around 3 million active users. For privacy purposes, the name Kiko will refer to the site’s creator (all screenshots with him will be censored in YELLOW). Kiko began working on this project as a way to learn code in his offtime. He began posting screenshots of the progress he was making with NPC on Reddit as far back as 5 years ago (2019). To say Neopets fans were excited is an understatement. When the site eventually opened to the public in December 2020, tons of users rushed to make accounts and create the unconverted pets they had never imagined getting to own, along with names that are probably stuck on frozen accounts from 2003 or so on retail. Instead of Rose6920Neopets, it was possible for a user on Neopets Classic to actually make the pet “Rose”. In its early days, the site was incredibly nostalgic and fulfilling for many people.
Kiko opened a Patreon account where people could show their support through monthly donations ranging from $1 to $25. Each tier unlocked special rewards on NPC’s Discord server, but the most appealing was the ability to make an NPC account for $1. After the initial wave of sign-ups, the site closed regular sign-ups to manage the influx of users as there were easily 200 members already. The only way people could get accounts after this point was by donating, or to wait for sign-up links to be posted about every month or so to the Discord. After receiving an email from Patreon where they warned him of Neopets copyright issues, Kiko moved to Buy Me A Coffee (BMAC).
A few months into Neopets Classic, there was a surge of site bugs and issues that went unfixed and quickly piled up. Kiko was nowhere to be found for almost two months. There was no communication indicating when users could expect fixes to the issues they were facing in game. Not even the mods were able to tell the users when or even if he would be back. He came back eventually, with no word of apology or explanation for his absence. This left users quite upset at the lack of communication while he was MIA, and not knowing whether their ongoing donations were going to waste if the site never started working properly again.
Kiko’s prolonged absence opened a door for many cheaters to abuse the site. This included the use of various bots and scripts that could auto-refresh around the site and auto-buy items from shops. Additionally, several users funneled items and neopoints (the in-game Neopets currency) from their side accounts to their main accounts, which was against the rules. Upon his return, Kiko was made aware of the massive cheating issue and started issuing bans accordingly. He created a channel within the Discord titled “Wall of Shame”, where he mocked the users he froze and immortalized their “crimes.” Ironically, Kiko himself had quite a bit of experience with similar illegal behavior on retail Neopets. He had previously been a black market seller of “UC” pets for real money on retail - and Clraik, a forum-based website dedicated to sharing and engaging in Neopets cheats, did not hesitate to expose this in his ban message from their site. Interestingly, Kiko had previously been fairly involved in the Clraik community and even recruited his first Neopets Classic players from there. He eventually deleted the channel.
Kiko also shamed his own playerbase behind closed doors in BMAC-only channels, but the Wall of Shame wouldn't be the first time he did so publicly. During the Halloween event in 2021, players collected candy around the site that came in different varieties. To redeem prizes, you had to collect certain varieties of candies - and if you didn’t have those varieties, you could swap candies with other users to get what you needed. One user made an unpopular choice to ask for multiples of one kind of candy for less of another and received severe backlash from not only the community but Kiko himself. While some users agreed that the player was acting out of line and applauded Kiko’s condemnation of the user, many others were grossly uncomfortable with the site creator openly ridiculing a player who wasn’t breaking any known game rules. Kiko had started a dogpile where members of the community continued to speak against the user, who then felt bullied off the site. A few friends of his followed suit and quit playing.
ART CHAOS
On March 7th, 2022, an NPC artist (who will henceforth be referred to as Carmariller) asked Kiko for permission to add a commissioned pet to the site that had been commissioned by a user with Neopoints. Kiko said yes and gave her permission, noting that it wasn’t any different from a user paying for a commission, as long as the user was fine with it being on the site. Their stone Shoyru design was eventually added to the site. Later on, several other users pitched in together to pay for a commission of another pet design from Carmariller in hopes of it being added to the site. When the site’s main moderator (let’s call her Lupe) found out about this in a public channel, she made it clear that commissions for pets to be added to the site were not allowed anymore, claiming it was unfair for users who couldn’t pay to affect site art through neopoints. However, those who had commissioned the art were confused and upset that this decision was made in direct opposition to the precedent of the Stone Shoyru. Following Lupe’s claims of unfairness, several users chimed in to express that it was problematic that users had commissioned art to be added to the site. Carmariller took a lot of heat from this discourse, which caused them to take a break from NPC. This series of interactions will be important later on.
ISSUES WITH INCLUSIVENESS
During April 2022, it was announced that a spring Easter event would take place on NPC. In the suggestions channel of the Discord server, a user submitted a suggestion to incorporate small nods to other religions because all the events around the holiday season were Christian-centric. This opened the door for a few users to vehemently disagree, stating that religion had no place on Neopets, that the site could never be “100% inclusive”, and that someone will always be upset. What started off as an innocuous suggestion for more inclusive features on the site ended in a heated debate, with many users feeling hurt and angry by the seemingly xenophobic arguments being made against the suggested features. Users from marginalized groups began to feel unsafe in the server as users were allowed to freely speak out against suggestions to make the site and community more inclusive with no mod intervention. When Kiko eventually came online, he did little to comfort those marginalized voices when he wrote that he wasn’t interested in “pandering to other cultures”, and that “Christian holidays are secular in western societies”. A user suggested adding a menorah or sugar skulls to represent Jewish and Mexican holidays, respectively. He wrote that he wasn’t interested in adding these items “any more than he was interested in adding a crucifix” item to the site. Some users responded that a crucifix is a symbol of the entire Christianity movement, whereas a menorah would be a symbol of Hanukkah and wouldn’t be different from the features that already exist on the site to represent Christmas, such as the advent calendar and the Christmas paint for pets and petpets. To this, Kiko just responded with a screenshot of his Google search where he googled “is menorah a religious symbol”.
Users became even more upset with his response, which seemed tone-deaf and careless in light of the conversation. A Jewish user argued that the menorah is tied to a single Jewish holiday, whereas a crucifix embodies Christianity as a whole. (NOTE: this is noted in the screenshots provided in the link, but several of the screenshots were taken recently whereas some were taken the day of this incident. In the last screenshot, where it says that a Discord user is responding to a message that has been deleted, the original message entailed Kiko’s message where he sent screenshots of his Google searches).
Users grew more weary of Kiko as he wrote that he would introduce a slow-mode in the suggestions channel since the users “couldn’t behave themselves”. To many users, it felt as though Kiko had been punishing and scolding them for expressing their hurt, without reprimanding the users who argued against the implementation of inclusive features.
Kiko and the users who were against adding features to represent other religions and cultures besides Christianity wrote that they would not have been able to “get it right” anyway since Kiko and his moderators were all white. A user responded to this and wrote that those kinds of arguments were often used as an excuse by non-marginalized individuals to not try to be inclusive by seeking out advice from the groups that they were attempting to represent. To this, Kiko reacted with an eye-rolling emoji instead of responding to the user directly and having a conversation about his reasoning.
After this debacle, some of the Neopets Classic Discord moderators created a separate server to invite BIPOC and address their concerns. A number of players disagreed with this move, because they felt that they were being pushed out of the main server and forced to express their concerns elsewhere, but the change was pushed regardless. Notably, Kiko, Kiko’s sister (who had been invited on to help him with the site), and the main moderator Lupe were not in this server. At first, the moderators involved piled the server members with apologies and asked for advice on how to do better. The advice was forthcoming from BIPOC players who committed to the emotional labor necessary to help the team understand–but they never understood. It was very quickly evident to everyone in the server that the team had no intentions of promoting inclusiveness, or a safe space for BIPOC players.
One member expressed that they were deeply uncomfortable with Lupe because of her pattern of silencing BIPOC users. The moderator running the server (let’s call her Moehog) meant to address BIPOC concerns told this member, and I quote, “I’m not going to comment on that. You can view her as you wish.” Immediately, the other members of the server called Moehog out on her inappropriate response. Moehog did not apologize or take any action against Lupe. It is important to note that during these conversations which were supposed to be geared toward making NPC a more inclusive space, Moehog was responding to messages in the private NPC staff chat with approval about how a Black member of the community would rant about being painted as a “an angry Black woman” while having a “nasty personality”. Screenshots of this are included further down.
BANNED NAMES - AND THE START OF NPC'S DOWNFALL
On May 24th, 2022, a user reported the pet ‘Soviet’, claiming that it was an insensitive name that shouldn’t exist on a p​​et site given the fact that Russia had very recently invaded Ukraine. The NPC mod team forced a “name change” for the pet Soviet, where the user received a name change token so that they may change the new name to another untaken name. Users began reporting other names that could be deemed offensive, such as Bimbo, Twink, and the username ‘slut’. Other users immediately took issue with the removal of pet names that were reclaimed slurs, such as Bimbo, and began asking the moderators about it in the NPC Discord server. One user, a Black woman (we’ll call her Aisha), pointed out that pets as harmless as Bimbo were being removed yet the pet Minstrel was owned by a NPC moderator - in fact, it was owned by the main moderator, Lupe. (While the word minstrel may mean medieval singer or musician, it is also strongly associated with blackface as in American history it referred to a member of a band of typically white actors with blackened faces. Minstrels performed songs, dances, and formulaic comic routines based on stereotyped depictions of Black Americans.)
Lupe swiftly deleted Aisha’s message that called out her pet Minstrel and wrote a reply stating that the pet Minstrel was in the process of being name-changed, and that users should submit tickets for any issues they have with pet names. It was never made apparent why action was immediately taken with Soviet and Bimbo, but not Minstrel. Aisha wrote another post about how it felt like her voice was being silenced, especially as a Black woman speaking about the hypocrisy of the moderators deleting pet names while owning a pet with harsh racist connotations. Aisha was swiftly banned from the server. It didn’t take long for users to come to her defense and demand to know why she was banned from the server for expressing her feelings of discomfort. Another moderator (Maple) claimed that he had attempted to mute Aisha for ‘inflammatory speech’ but had accidentally banned her instead. This caused outrage in the community, as more and more users denounced the silencing of marginalized voices without addressing any of the harm that was done. You might be asking: where was Kiko during all of this?
Kiko had been gone for several weeks at this point. By now, the users were used to this. Kiko was often gone without word, and left it up to his moderators to handle any and all issues--really, it was often Lupe dealing with the public chat while the other moderators held more of a backseat position. He did, however, come out of the woodworks to write about how angry he was with the community for “causing drama”. Once again, he placed the blame in the playerbase and found no fault within the community moderators for inflicting harm to their players. Furthermore, he wrote that he was proceeding to shut down non-informational channels. Only BMAC supporters (i.e., people who were paying real life money) were allowed to converse and use the Discord server as normal. In his post, Kiko also wrote that the server was shutting down in order to find new moderators to help keep the peace within the community. During this time, on the evening of May 24th, screenshots from staff chat had been leaked where Kiko is seen claiming that the “argument for reclaimed slurs is dumb”, followed by a joke about how NPC supports bullying minorities and white supremacy. This led several users to feel uncomfortable, believing that Kiko was joking about something that still felt so raw and painful for them.
After most of the player base was suddenly unable to communicate in the main server, many users moved to the site’s neoboards. Although they were glitchy and had many broken links, it sufficed as everyone needed a way to talk about the mess that just occurred in the main NPC server. Remember Carmariller? People were still unsatisfied with how Carmariller was driven away from the site. Some users took to posting “JUSTICE FOR CARMARILLER” on the neoboards, but were swiftly frozen (in which you are never allowed to play NPC again) or temporarily banned/muted. Carmariller returned to the boards to reveal that she never knew commissions for site art weren't allowed as Kiko had previously given her permission to accept commissions from users to eventually add to the site (as shown in a previous screenshot). Kiko showed up to say that he only did that the one time. Carmariller wrote that he said it wasn’t a problem that one time, so she assumed it wouldn’t be a problem later. Kiko then asked Carmariller if she would take time off from work any day she wanted if her boss had previously given her a day off. This was enough for Carmariller to quit the site and never partake in the community ever again. That, however, wouldn't stop the site from continuing to use her art and pet designs that she only had given permission for before quitting the art team. Not too long after, the entire board was deleted by either Kiko or his staff.
KIKO'S ABSENCE
The shutdown of the main server for NPC occurred on May 24th, 2022. After Kiko wrote that long post, he disappeared for nearly three months. The main server became a ghost town, and hardly anyone ever posted there. Much of this is due to the fact that most of the playerbase couldn’t chat there, since they weren’t BMAC supporters. Even though Kiko had left and there was no news of change or progress on the site or in the community, the BMAC stayed open. This meant new users were continuing to donate $1 for accounts that they weren’t getting because Kiko was M.I.A. and unable to process their links. As familiar as prolonged disappearances of Kiko were to old players, several new people who had not come to expect this by now were anxious about where their money was going. There were frequent inquiries posted in the discord about when new users could expect to receive a sign-up link. Mixed messaging from the moderators in response made the situation all the more tense. Lupe made an announcement that Kiko and his sister will return but was unable to say when, and used privacy concerns as reasoning to not elaborate on why they had “to take some time away due to IRL, external matters.” This left many users genuinely concerned that something may have happened to him that pulled him away from the site that the mod didn’t want to share publicly. One artist even mentioned that Kiko tends to his grandfather who was sick at the time, leading users to worry as they began to wonder if everything was alright. Later, a user asked the mod Moehog if Kiko left because of the heated discourse surrounding pet names like Soviet and Minstrel. Moehog responded that the Kiko and his sibling were simply away on holiday, and just needed some relaxation time. Users were bewildered at the lack of simple communication prior either by the devs or the mod announcement to say that they were taking a short break and would be back. Donors in particular were frustrated that they could have saved their monetary contributions for an account had they known it would be some time before Kiko returned.
During Kiko’s long absence, the NPC moderators decide to promote a prominent art team member to moderator status. We’ll call them Chia. The first action Chia took as a moderator was to delete the Spanish-Chat channel, where Spanish and Portuguese NPC users previously talked about the game in… well… Spanish and Portuguese. Given the fact that much of the tension in the NPC community stemmed from issues regarding racism and xenophobia, many users felt like this was a terrible decision which went against the very thing they sought: inclusivity in the NPC community. Chia responded and wrote that their intention was to delete non-essential channels, and that it wasn’t uncommon in larger Discords to exclude non-English channels. Users were quick to note that this was a popular xenophobic sentiment in those very gaming communities.
Because over half of the playerbase was shut out of communicating in the main NPC server, a few individuals made a side server titled “NPC Peeps”. Many NPC users migrated to this server to keep up with the community while these harsh changes were implemented upon the playerbase. It is important to note that none of the NPC staff or moderators were allowed in this server, as it was created initially to aid NPC users in airing out their grievances without the fear of being punished in the community or on the site. Site artists were allowed but later removed.
Then, it came to light that Maple had been actively spying in the “NPC Peeps” server on a burner account, and taking unauthorized screenshots within a private venting channel to use against players. Many players were frozen on the site or banned from the main discord server at the whims of the moderator team. Reasons were never given for these bans, so many assumed it was simply for speaking negatively about NPC, even though these discussions took place in a separate server. The second server had been created as a safe space for all NPC players, especially BIPOC members, and many users felt as though this was a gross invasion of privacy that made them feel even more unsafe.
After Maple’s burner account was banned, he and other moderators and artists continued to attempt to get into the second server and spy on users. (A screenshot of a site artist proposing the idea of sending friends to spy in the NPC Peeps server with Lupe agreeing is provided here)
In the BIPOC server, members expressed their concerns about the unwelcome surveillance, but were again met with unsympathetic ears. Moehog informed the members that she planned to quit as a moderator, and that the BIPOC server would have to take their concerns elsewhere. Members of the server took the opportunity to once and for all express serious frustration with how their concerns had been handled, and how nothing had ever come of their concerns (Moehog had only told them she would pass on their recommendations to Kiko, and Kiko had never responded). Moehog then said that she was keeping the server open as a favor to them and because she didn’t “want their emotional labor to go to waste.” Another member who had applied to be a moderator months earlier expressed that, if they became a moderator, the first thing they would do would be to ask Maple to step down from his position. Immediately following that message, Moehog deleted the entire server.
PROMINENT MEMBERS LEAVE TO CREATE THEIR OWN SITE
All the discord server drama aside— if you asked any NPC user, you’d find that, from 2020-2022, there was little to actually do on the site: you could restock (which entails buying items from non-playable character shops and reselling them for a profit in your shop or on the trading posts), feed kadoaties, paint your pets with Neopoints you earn through Random Events or by restocking, or do fetch quests from non-player characters, where you must find the item they are asking for and they will give you Neopoints in return. A few long-time NPC users had previously offered their services to Kiko multiple times, constantly telling him that they are familiar with web development and could assist him in adding new features to the site such as games and the Battledome, but Kiko always refused.
So, in July 2022, these same members had become increasingly frustrated with NPC and began working on a new site called Grundo’s Cafe. Grundo’s Cafe was designed to resemble early 2000s Neopets, as well. The idea of an early 2000s Neopets fansite was not new by then, and several had popped up such as Virtu.pet and Moderneo. The creators of Grundo’s Cafe aimed to implement more than NPC already had to offer such as recreating flash games using HTML5, the Battledome, and the beloved Habitarium. On August 12th, Grundo’s Cafe had their Grand Opening, and allowed 100 slots for signups which quickly filled up as dedicated Neopets players were eager to try this new clone. Many former NPC users were excited to play a new site that had many features to offer that actually did represent early 2000s Neopets: functional neoboards, restocking, guilds, flash games, and games such as Sakhmet Solitaire, Dice-a-Roo, and Lenny Conundrum. A few of these were features that took over a year for NPC to provide, and many are features that NPC still does not have.
The next day, on August 13, 2022, all of the Grundo’s Cafe developers and Discord moderators were shocked to find their Neopets Classic accounts had been frozen. Their ban messages simply read ‘C/ping custom text and content from NPC is not allowed.’ Allegedly, the Neopets Classic staff suspected Grundo’s Cafe ripped their code and content and consequently froze their accounts. It was widely unclear, however, what content was thought to have been stolen from NPC as the HTML, content, and images used were from the original Neopets as might be expected from a clone site like NPC itself. There was also no way to dispute their account freezes, as the “contact our support staff” link was broken and led nowhere. The Discord server had also been locked down, requiring users to submit verification forms through Google Forms where a moderator would reach out to them via neomail on the site and give them a password that they had to in turn message to a moderator via Discord. The Grundo’s Cafe moderators in particular were confused and upset that they would be frozen if the reason was stealing website code and content, because their roles as moderators had nothing to do with working on the site development.
Long-time NPC players were horrified by the NPC staff’s actions for a while, but this was the final straw for many. Several users who had been playing since the first couple of months quit NPC and happily joined Grundo’s Cafe never to look back. Some friends of the Grundo’s Cafe staff took it one step further by going directly to the Neopets Classic Discord to air their disappointment. These messages were quickly deleted by the mods online at the time, and the five users involved in the conversation were permanently muted in the server and on the neoboards, and eventually frozen on the site. Several users were also frozen for expressing their discontent with the NPC staff. Users complained that the server felt like severe censorship as they couldn’t express any discontent with the site’s actions without it being deleted or their accounts being muted.
STAFF CHAT LEAKS
Long-time NPC players weren’t the only ones disgusted by the behavior of the NPC staff. One staff member took a huge risk to expose some controversial conversations from the NPC private staff chat which included Kiko, his sister, the mods, and artists. In these screenshots, staff members/moderators and artists are seen mocking Aisha, calling her a “nasty spiteful little bitch” and referring to the player base as “cunts”. They joked about making Aisha’s verification word to get access to discord “minstrel”. Although Kiko and the NPC staff accused the Grundo’s Cafe team of copying and pasting content, screenshots were also leaked of them snooping around to steal scripts and code from Grundo’s Cafe staff members. These scripts were initially created by the Grundo’s Cafe team when they were active users on NPC, and many of the playerbase depended on them. However, after being frozen on NPC, the Grundo’s Cafe team removed access to their scripts, leaving NPC users at a disadvantage. In the previously linked screenshots, staff members are seen discussing how to get those scripts back in order to add them to the NPC website and pass off as their own. They also accused the Grundo’s Cafe main developer of stealing the footer text from NPC, but a Reddit comment from Kiko himself would prove otherwise. Through the leak of these screenshots, it became swiftly apparent to users that the Grundo’s Cafe team was frozen out of pure jealousy or spitefulness at their quick success without any solid reason to back it up. Many of the players who had been loyal through the ups and downs of Neopets Classic over the past two years felt disgusted by the racist remarks made behind closed doors. Any messages regarding the staff chat leaks in the NPC server were deleted, and some users were muted or frozen for attempting to talk about it.
After August 2022, many users stopped playing NPC. Between other Neopets clones such as Grundo’s Cafe, Moderneo, and Virtu.pet, many people found that there was much to do on other sites compared to NPC. Many users also refused to be associated with a site run by individuals such as Kiko and his staff. The drop in active numbers was evident even to NPC users that remained active. On the site homepage, there is a counter of how many users are online at the moment, and there were often only 30-40 members online (whereas in the past, numbers would easily reach triple digits, especially on the weekends). NPC users grew frustrated with the lack of updates and small player base, claiming that it was now difficult to complete quests as no one was restocking and filling their shops with items. In October 2022, users expected a Halloween event, and staff members responded that it was coming, keeping it vague at best. On October 28th, it was announced that a Halloween event would be coming that day. However, the site broke the very same day. Users grew more and more frustrated as they just desired to play on a functional site where the developer actually had an interest in improving the site. A few days went by with radio silence as the site remained unplayable. Then, on November 3rd, Kiko wrote a very important announcement. He announced that, because of some issues with the server, the site had lost 5 months of data. Many users were shocked and devastated, as all their progress and hard work from the past 5 months had suddenly been erased. Several users wondered how Kiko had gone five months without backing up data onto any external site. Users who lost pets due to the rollback were required to message mods with proof of which pets they owned so that they could be replaced. Typically, Neopets Classic would do “pound releases” where previously stuck pets on frozen accounts would be released to the pound where any user could adopt them to their own account. However, as a result of the chaos from the rollback, mods used this rollback as their chance to take pets from frozen accounts for their own use, giving themself a secretive priority over which pets they wanted for themselves before they were released to the pound for the general public.
THE STATE OF NEOPETS CLASSIC TODAY
To this day, several Neopets fansites and projects exist, and many Neopets fans are members of multiple sites. The sites, such as Grundo’s Cafe, Virtu.pet, and Moderneo, remain friendly with each other, and oftentimes the developers even work together on each other’s sites in various ways. Grundo’s Cafe has even been referenced by the official Neopets team multiple times (example 1, example 2). All three sites have an active community.
The exception to this is Neopets Classic. Users are no longer able to check how many players are online, as either Kiko or his team have removed the feature. You can try and gauge activity with their latest news announcement which stated that they received zero poem submissions for Moehog Day (a pet day where Moehogs are celebrated on every Neopets site, often including new pet art and user-submitted poems).
Neopets Classic is the only Neopets fansite without any affiliates or relationships with other Neopets fansites, which begs the question of whether this can only be attributed to Kiko and his inexperienced mod & art team.

Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/cCef3TE
Happy Saturday my börthers and sïsters! Dropping more slings and all the gear I made for myself and no longer want or need! What you see listed below is what is available today. If you have any questions please ask! Additional pictures are below for each item. If I don't respond right away I'm probably working on homework but I will respond! Buy any 1 MYOG thing and get $2 off each additional item!
READ THE RULES!!! NO NOTES!!! Zelle (preferred), CashApp, PPFF, or PPGS for +30 Flair ONLY with NO NOTES. I will ask you to send a PM when you call dibs so you know it's me you're PMing. Please let me know if you wish to use PPGS; I will use a Paypal fee calculator and send you a total prior to payment. If you use PPGS and we did not discuss I will refund you what you sent less the fee Paypal charges me. If you are forced to use notes by Paypal just put in ":)". Everything will be shipped USPS priority or First Class and I ship everything insured. Anything dibsed and paid for by 2100 nightly normally ships next business day.
PLEASE USE PM ONLY NOT CHAT. I have disabled chat. DO NOT CHAT ME.
BASICBITCHSLINGS. Made from Mil-W-17337 or A-A-55301 1” webbing and ITW/Duraflex hardware. $2 off each additional sling after the first one! Glamour shots of the slings!

• 4x Vietnam Tiger Stripe $27 shipped each
  
• 5x Desert Vietnam Tiger Stripe $27 shipped each
  
• 6x Rhodesian $27 shipped each
  
• 5x Frogskin Arid $27 shipped each
  
• 6x 4x Alpenflauge $27 shipped each
  
• 9x M81 God's Plaid (tan hardware) $24 shipped each
  
• 5x 4x M81 God's Plaid (black hardware) $24 $22 shipped each
  
• 11x Woodland MARPAT $24 shipped each
  
• 15x Multicam $22 shipped each
  
• 11x MC Black $22 shipped each
  
• 8x MC Alpine $22 20 $18 shipped each
  
• 13x MC Tropic $22 shipped each
  
• 13x MC Arid $22 shipped each
  
• 10x ATACS-AU $22 shipped each
  
• 5x ATACS-FG $22 shipped each
  
• 2x Kryptek Nomad $22 shipped each
  
• 12x Ranger Green (tan hardware) $18 shipped each
  
• 12x Wolf Grey $15 shipped each
  
• 7x Foliage Green $15 shipped each
  
• 14x Just Black $15 shipped each
  
• 10x Coyote $15 shipped each
  

basicblemslings https://imgur.com/a/Bh3z1gG Thread got messed up but will not affect performance.

• 2x Blem Vietnam Tiger Stripe $25 shipped each

sweatshopslings https://imgur.com/a/75ggP66 I took a chance on some "Vietnam Tiger Stripe" webbing and it is definitely imported and not true VTS pattern. That being said, the material is still good so I whipped up some slings and will keep them on until they are gone.

• 12x "Vietnam Tiger Stripe" $15 shipped each

Configurable, Unbeatable Carrying Kit (CUCK) https://imgur.com/a/AXfeiK5 Kryptek Outlander with Camo 483. As is tradition, made this for myself, then decided to go a different direction. 4 PALS columns on each side, pocket, elastic pockets on back for AR mags, and comes with an M81 MOLLE placard and all the buckles. Does not come with any straps. $35 shipped
MEMERS https://imgur.com/a/N8MiMhF Mostly Elastic, Maybe Ergonomic Rigs. Something for a credit union thief. Holds 4x AR mags (or whatever) and has the shock cord for 2x more whatevers. Comes with skinny straps and backstrap.

• 1x MC Black MEMER $55 shipped each
  
• 1x Coyote MEMER $45 shipped each
  
• 1x Just Black MEMER $45 shipped each
  

Great MultIpLe use Fanny (G-MILF) https://imgur.com/a/bW3MvSS Wolf Grey/Ranger Green. Made this monstrocity and decided I wanted to go smaller. This can be a fanny, pouch, or dangler and comes with all the things you would need. TQ holder on the bottom. $50 shipped
TQ Hammocks https://imgur.com/a/KYko63G Hold onto your TQ boys and let them chill!

• 2x Multicam TQ Hammock $16 shipped each
  
• 1x MC Black TQ Hammock $16 shipped each
  
• 2x Ranger Green TQ Hammock $15 shipped each
  
• 1x Coyote TQ Hammock $15 shipped each
  
• 2x Just Black TQ Hammock $14 shipped each
  
• 2x Wolf Grey TQ Hammock (Wolf Grey hook and loop was upcycled) $13 shipped each
  

Dirt Chomper TQ Holsters https://imgur.com/a/jmrSItq Horizontal TQ mounting for your belt!

• 2x MC Dirt Chomper (hook outer belt, loop inner belt) $18 shipped each

sWINGers https://imgur.com/a/2azTs0w Allows you to mount AR mags or similar sized items in all the ways, left, right, front, or back, just like the way you spend your weekends. Functionality here. All are $20 $18 each shipped or 2 for $35. $30.

• 1x MC Black
  
• 2x Wolf Grey/Mas Grey hook and loop
  

Double Pouch (DP) Pouches https://imgur.com/a/ZS6epuG This is an iteration of the YOG pouch I made previously to have 2 separate compartments, sized to slightly larger than 3x AR PMAGs. These were each mounted once then I pulled them off because I want to get a little crazy with the design. There is still the rear insert area that is sized for 2x AR mags. I don't have inserts made but if you need one I can make and add it on for an additional $10.

• Nemesis Woodland Wolf prototype DP (I made the middle seam too big so the pouches look lopsided when filled. $35 $30 shipped
  
• DNC DP $40 $35 shipped
  
• DNC Blem DP (accidentally sewed the back piece inside out but you can only tell at the bottom) $30 shipped
  

RG Eagle Operator's Belt https://imgur.com/a/YxjAKD9 Size Small. This was on my kit for a few years but left the basement maybe a handful of times and it's in good shape. Found an inner belt to go with it! Comes with my Prototype Ranger Green Dirt Chomper TQ holder. $85 shipped.
Black Titan 4x Mag Drop Leg Pouch https://imgur.com/a/F6guAeN Found in a box. $20 shipped
Coyote Medical Drop Leg Pouch https://imgur.com/a/lJL9pU7 Found in a box. $20 shipped
Holsters and misc https://imgur.com/a/G47ElYE

• Aliengear XD holster. GAFS catch and release. Bought it, tried it on once, went into a box. I think it’s made for the XD9 compact but it fit an XD9 just fine. Asking $40 $35 $30 shipped.
  
• P226 Holster (brown one). I believe this is a JBP leather dual use concealment holster. Comes with one extra snap button. $20 $18 $16 $15 shipped.
  
• Streamlight clicky caps $1 each ADD ON ONLY
  

Rifle Mag Pouches https://imgur.com/a/j7DPlvy

• MYOG MC Black 1x AR mag pouch. Fits USGI mags only because I suck at measuring. I will throw some shock cord in if bought. $8 shipped or $5 add on
  
• MYOG Wolf Grey/Ranger Green 2x AR mag pouch. $10 shipped or $6 add on
  
• MYOG Vietnam Tiger Stripe 2x AR mag pouch $15 shipped or $12 add on
  
• MYOG Desert VTS 2x AR mag pouch $15 shipped or $12 add on
  
• Betsy's first MYOG 2x AR mag pouch (modeled after a Tactical Tailor one) $8 shipped or $5 add on
  

Anyways if you made it this far thanks for looking and my FAQs are next!
FAQ
Where are all your things made? By me, on my 1940s sewing machine, in my craft room.
What materials do you use? For the most part, everything is made in the USA and Berry compliant. Generally speaking, I use the following: AA55301 or MIL-17337 webbing; Berry compliant 500D Cordura; MIL-W-5664 elastic; Berry compliant 550 paracord; Berry compliant shock cord; either Velcro and/or generic hook and loop; and ITW or Duraflex hardware. There may be some outliers. All my thread is a TEX 75 heavy duty thread from a US company.
What will the slings fit through? Anything that has a 1" slot, whether it's a QD, HK clip, plastic clip, rifle sling mount, paracord, zip ties, etc.
How do I install this through something or to my weapon? Step by step procedure here of what I do.
Do I have any clips or QD mounts? Not at this time, no.
Do you do custom work? Sometimes, depending on my schedule, but any transactions would not be through GAFS.
Do I have XXX color or product? If it's not listed I don't have it at this moment. Also, I have only been using Berry compliant webbing and no I have not found waifu webbing that is Berry compliant. Yet.
Why did you start this? In 2022 or so I was in the market for an inexpensive sling in a color other than black and also made in the USA. After I made a few for myself I started to produce these as a low-cost, high quality sling for anyone who was in the same boat I was in.
Why do you keep doing this? It's fun! Sewing has let me be creative and make myself kit that I like! Also allows me to prototype things and pass on my "old stuff" to you!

Disclaimer: I do not speak Korean. This is purely translated by machine with a lot of cleanup afterward. With that in mind, I am open to criticism to improve these translations. Enjoy!
​
Chapter 424
​
Kwaaaaah!
​
Engulfed in searing blue flames, the vortex devoured everything in its path,
​
Buildings crumbled - their concrete skeletons exposed and steel frames twisted grotesquely. The ground was littered with the scattered bodies of humans and monsters alike, casualties of the relentless destruction.
​
The ultra-high heat obliterated nearly everything, reducing it all to ash and molten remnants.
​
Except for one.
​
- Blink.
​
Everything but him.
​
Beep.
​
​
​
- Skill, [One Strike] has been activated!
​
- [Qi] has been completely exhausted!
​
- Everything comes with a price. Despite serious injuries, you have overexerted your power.
​
- Status abnormality, [Exhaustion] has been applied!
​
- [Strength], [Stamina], [Agility] have temporarily plummeted!
​
​
​
My strength ebbed away, leaving me hollow. The alerts from the System rang incessantly in my ears, while the distant cries of the Skeleton Warlord in my inventory faded to mere whispers.
​
My body felt leaden, as though submerged in icy water. In the frigid solitude of my mind, one thought spun relentlessly:
​
'This was my last chance.'
​
Why hadn’t I seen it coming? Why hadn’t I guessed?
​
The Arch Lich had warned me; he had been observing me through his network of familiars scattered across the battlefield.
​
I should have suspected he'd seen my earlier uses of [One Strike] on the Liches and Death Knights.
​
I should have questioned it, even without certainty.
​
‘Idiot.’
​
A laugh, bitter and mocking, broke from my lips. I had promised myself never to let down my guard, yet here I was, caught in the most critical of errors.
​
The lack of options was no excuse. In battle, it is the outcome that counts, not the intent. This was the bitter fruit of my negligence.
​
Thud!
​
The iron bar I clutched fell from my weakening grasp, clanging loudly as it hit the ground. My legs buckled, forcing me to kneel.
​
Head bowed, I was enveloped by a suffocating darkness.
​
- You, human. How does it feel to pay the price for your reckless courage?
​
Struggling to lift my head, I locked eyes with his fiery red gaze. A hoarse whisper clawed its way through my parched throat.
​
"Of course it feels shitty, you damn bastard."
​
- It was a fearsome strike. I'll give you that much praise.
​
The Arch Lich’s voice dripped with triumph.
​
Despite his use of teleportation magic, he couldn’t entirely evade One Strike, resulting in the loss of his left arm. Yet, there he stood, a grim victor amidst the chaos of the battlefield.
​
His eyes, a sinister red, gleamed with a cruel joy as he gazed down at me, kneeling like a penitent sinner.
​
- I waited until the end. Despite the humiliation suffered at the hands of a human, I endured and persevered. And finally... this body claims victory.
​
His cunning was undeniable.
​
As I had feared, he had been anticipating One Strike from the outset.
​
Previously, I had obliterated Liches and Death Knights with One Strike, replenishing my stamina through leveling up, but he had keenly observed the moment I depleted all my strength.
​
- Do you understand now? This is your limit - the limit of a human.
​
Limit.
​
That word burrowed deeply into my chest.
​
Despite all my struggles, the label of F-rank haunted me. It was a limit I had strived to surpass every day since acquiring the System.
​
'Is this really the end?'
​
I had fought desperately, for myself and for those I loved, pushing through peril after peril. This was my life: a relentless challenge of transcending my own boundaries.
​
"It's not over... not yet."
​
The words fell from my lips, hollow and lifeless, as if spoken by another.
​
My vision blurred as I raised my eyes to meet the Arch Lich’s gaze.
​
- What?
​
"It's not over yet."
​
A battle to the death concludes only when one side falls and the other stands victorious.
​
Until then, the struggle persists.
​
As death loomed close, I whispered to myself.
​
'Inventory open. Summon.'
​
I thought I had secured one of the spears from my inventory in my grasp.
​
But then, I dropped it.
​
Clang!
​
In that moment, I realized my strength had waned too far to wield a spear, let alone swing it.
​
- Hahahaha!
​
The Arch Lich’s laughter was grotesque, reveling in my plight.
​
Yet, surrender was not an option for me. I would not, could not give up.
​
'Open Inventory. Summon.'
​
Weapon after weapon appeared in my hands.
​
Thud!
​
And one by one, I dropped them.
​
'Open Inventory. Summon.'
​
Thud!
​
- Oh, you foolish, stupid human!
​
The Arch Lich's mockery rang out.
​
Yet I persisted, undeterred.
​
Is it courageous to humbly accept one's end? If that is courage, then label me a coward.
​
I must survive — I believed this was the highest respect I could pay to the life I had fought so hard to live.
​
'Open Inventory. Summon.'
​
It was at that very moment.
​
Ding.
​
​
​
- [Endurance] greatly increases.
​
- The attribute, [Endurance], transforms into [Will]!
​
- Those with strong will are not easily broken; they do not fall. They will fight with all their might until the very end.
​
- A strong will, at times, can give you the power to overcome your limits!
​
- Special effect, [Indomitable], has been activated. Temporarily, all attributes slightly increase, and fatigue is reduced!
​
​
​
A surge of warmth spread through my core, faint yet fiercer than any force I had known.
​
It wasn't just a burst of power.
​
It was a beacon of hope kindled by my desperation and given by the System.
​
With hands shaking, I clasped the cold spear shaft firmly.
​
- You...
​
The Arch Lich had noticed the shift too.
​
His gaze, previously dismissive as if I was merely an exhibit, now widened in alarm. Seizing the moment, I mustered all my remaining strength and lunged forward.
​
Time seemed to stretch, elongating the seconds as I thrust the spear towards his looming figure.
​
Screeeeech!
​
As the spear tore through the air with a sonic boom, I saw it clearly — the Arch Lich’s eyes, twisted into a crescent of scorn.
​
It was a sneer.
​
- Blood Explosion.
​
Boom!
​
The force of the explosion reverberated through my body, sending shockwaves pulsing through every fiber.
​
With the last of my strength spent, my muscles seized up. The spear slipped from my weakened grip and impaled the ground at an awkward angle.
​
I blinked through eyes filled with blood. In a world now painted a visceral red, something warm and sticky splattered onto my face.
​
Drip, drip-drip.
​
'...Ah.'
​
It was blood.
​
My own blood, spurting forth like a gruesome fountain, showered down in a macabre rain.
​
As I raised my trembling hands, quivering like aspen leaves in a storm, the ghastly sight of my shredded flesh and starkly exposed bones confronted me.
​
Blood Explosion. A literal explosion of blood.
​
From the edges of my dimming consciousness, the cries of the Skeleton Warlord pierced the air.
​
- ...Human, human!
​
How long had he been shouting?
​
I tried to answer, but all that escaped my lips was a grotesque mix of blood and fragments of my organs.
​
"Cough."
​
The world spun chaotically before my eyes.
​
I reached out toward the Arch Lich, now just a blur through the blood-smeared lens of my vision, but my hand grasped only air.
​
Perhaps it always would.
​
- Snap out of it! Aren't you supposed to live?
​
Is that supposed to be encouragement?
​
I knew I had to survive, defeat him, and return home.
​
But...
​
'Can I really?'
​
Slowly, the world seemed to tilt.
​
No, the world was stable; it was I who was faltering. My body, ravaged by relentless bleeding and grievous injuries, used the last vestiges of its strength just to keep from collapsing.
​
'No. If I fall, it's all over.'
​
I propped myself up on a broken ankle.
​
The faint, thorn-like pain was a grim reminder that I was dying, yet the intermittent shouts from the Skeleton Warlord, sounding through the haze like a broken radio, affirmed that I was still somehow alive.
​
- ...Do it, human! Hurry!
​
Do it? Do what?
​
- Summon me now...!
​
My eardrums were ruptured, my consciousness slipping; the Skeleton Warlord's shouts were just muffled echoes in my shattered senses.
​
Even if I could have made out his words, there was nothing I could do to intercept the Arch Lich's next move.
​
- You have some interesting possessions.
​
Suddenly, in the Arch Lich's hand was a familiar object.
​
My cherished weapon, White Flames, which had weathered many battles at my side, now blazed in the hands of this usurper. He laughed, his skeletal frame aglow within the dancing flames.
​
- I have received a gift far too extravagant. I suppose it should be returned to its owner.
​
The Arch Lich drew back his arm. A potent magic dampened the inferno of White Flames and surged along the spear’s blade.
​
- Farewell, noble adversary — or perhaps just a fool who might have been something more.
​
Screech!
​
The sonic boom was fleeting, yet the moment stretched into an eternity.
​
I watched, mute, as White Flames hurtled towards me like a meteor. A whirlwind of thoughts raced through my mind, leading me to an inevitable conclusion.
​
'I can't avoid it.'
​
Then the only end left for me was death.
​
I had survived countless battles over the past seven years, but never had the specter of death loomed so palpably.
​
All I could do was witness its relentless advance.
​
'Yes, this is the end.'
​
I repeated the thought with eerie calm.
​
Crack!
​
The blade of White Flames cleaved through bone as it impaled me squarely in the chest.
​
I froze, eyes wide in shock — not pain.
​
"...You."
​
- Why, what?
​
Words failed me as I stared into the flickering blue eyes just inches from my face.
​
From a skull no larger than a soccer ball, the Skeleton Warlord had morphed into a towering figure over two meters tall, his voice blunt and confounding.
​
- Don't ask how I was able to get out on my own. Even this commander doesn't understand why.
​
"But why? ...Why?"
​
I asked, facing him.
​
The blade of the spear, protruding from the Skeleton Warlord's back to his chest, halted just a whisper away from piercing me.
​
If no one had intervened, I would have surely died.
​
He had just thrown himself to save my life.
​
- ...I don't know anymore. Damn it. I don't know anything now. Maybe I was enchanted by this sword.
​
Only then did I recognize the identity of the sword in the Skeleton Warlord's hand.
​
"Hero's Soul."
​
The only relic of Lei Fei, a sword that cannot be wielded by those who are not qualified to be heroes.
​
Yet here it was.
​
Held not by a hero, but by a Named Monster — the Skeleton Warlord.
​
- Hero's Soul, huh? For something made by humans, that's a pretty decent name. No, honestly, it's cool. Although it's too late to swing it properly now...
​
His voice trailed off, and the intense blue light in his eyes began to fade.
​
I understood what was happening to him.
​
'Extinction.'
​
Undoubtedly. Even now, the magical force of the Arch Lich, carried by the blade of White Flames, was devouring the Skeleton Warlord.
​
"You."
​
- Don't say any more. I'm already regretting this as it is.
​
I doubted his sincerity, especially given the soft chuckle that seemed at odds with his typically gruff demeanor.
​
- Human. There's something I'm curious about.
​
As the Arch Lich approached and the shoulders of the Skeleton Warlord crumbled, I gave a silent nod.
​
"Anything."
​
He hesitated for a moment then asked in a soft voice.
​
- About what you said last time. Was it sincere?
​
"Last time, what... Oh."
​
I suddenly remembered. The way he had been right after Lei Fei's death, pondering his forgotten past.
​
And the casual remark I had made.
​
​
​
'Well, I think he was probably a pretty good guy.'
​
'...Huh? Are you talking about me?'
​
'No. I'm just talking to myself.'
​
'Oh, yes. Right.'
​
​
​
So that's what it is.
​
For the Skeleton Warlord, who had awakened with power from a spirit that had lost all its memories, I might have been the closest thing to a friend he ever had.
​
The simple words I had spoken were like a pebble tossed into the still waters of his heart, causing ripples to spread outward.
​
'What an idiot.'
​
What was that all about? Why go this far over such a trivial thing?
​
A surge of emotion welled up within me, heat flushing my face, but I reined it in. I barely managed to muster my voice.
​
"Of course it was sincere."
​
- Yes, I see.
​
At that moment, as the blue light in his eyes flickered feebly, a cold voice cut through the air, heralding the end.
​
- Are you finished with your farewells?
​
"…!"
​
- Bone Explosion.
​
Boom!
​
Instinctively, I shielded my face with my arms, but the force of the explosion hurled me backward, sending shockwaves pulsating through me.
​
As I staggered to my feet, I witnessed a skull catapulted into the sky, bones splintering and scattering like brittle ice.
​
And then… silence.
​
The Skeleton Warlord had vanished.
​
Whoosh!
​
[Hero's Soul] plummeted from the heavens, its blade burying itself deep into the earth, gripped by a hand that had not relinquished it until the very end.
​
Previous Table of Contents Next

Special Parts
I was born in one of the brightest, most explosive events in the universe. My origin story made me feel so special at first, surely I was the rarest of the rare, but I quickly realized that was not the case.
I was born just a carbon atom.
Stars produce massive amounts of us in their cores all the time, and many larger rarer atoms too. That's not even talking about supernovae yet, those produce atoms many times larger than me and unbelievably rare.
I was created in a rare and special event but I myself was common and unexceptional.
Looking around I saw so many smaller atoms, I was above average but there were also many much larger than I.
I tried to console myself by thinking it could be worse, that I could be one of those smaller common ones, but that just led me to imagine larger atoms looking down on me the same way.
Many atoms of all sizes were shooting into space, excitedly riding the shockwave off to adventures in the great unknown.
Others were falling back down, I didn't know which way to go. Bumped around and tossed back and forth, no clear direction yet.
A rumbling voice slowly emerged from the echoing noise of the blast.
“Mine… Mine…. Mine… “
Louder and louder it became.
“All are now me!“
I couldn't see anything, the voice was booming yet there was no apparent source. I could feel a pull, I was being whipped around in circles around the voice.
“Who are you? I know you are there! I can feel you! I can see your effect on myself and others, we are given no choice but to circle around you. Show yourself! I know you are there!” I yelled at the invisible.
“How amusing you are little one. One as small as you making demands of me. Even if I could show you what I am, you could not comprehend it.” the voice boomed back.
“You must be very special” I lauded “We are so many and yet we move with your influence. I can witness your power twisting us all to your will. ”
“I am indeed powerful” it proclaimed “and I grow stronger with each moment. As I grow stronger even the fabric of reality bends to my will.”
“Grow stronger? How?” I inquired with selfish intent to learn this secret.
“I take what I want. I consume what I take. For that is the purpose of existence: taking what you want. What is it you want little one?” it asked.
“I want to be special!” I said without a moment's hesitation.
“Then take!” it instructed “the more you take, the larger you will be, the larger you become the more special you are. ”
“I did notice the larger atoms seemed rarest.” I agreed “In fact that was one of the first things I noticed“
“In this universe things of increasing size are increasingly rare.” it went on “I can teach you and help you to become larger. Do you wish to become an apprentice?”
“Yes! Teach me how to take!” I lept at the offer “this power you have, I can feel it, how do I acquire such a rare and special power?”
“Hahaha…” it laughed “you are nowhere near ready to play the game on my level, little one. Gravity is a game for the massive, you must first learn to master the EM and nuclear forces.”
“How do I do that?” I asked, my hope watered down by the tone of its response.
“Go out, gather followers, and bring them here to me. In my accretion disc I will help fuse some of their mass into you and you will become larger” it instructed, as if this was a simple task.
“How can I bring them to you?” I didn’t know how to accomplish what it asked of me.
“You are too small to do it with force, you must charm them. Discover what their heart desires and promise it to them, in this way you can get them to willingly do as you wish” it explained with me hanging on its every word.
“But how… “ I craved more explanation but it cut me off.
“Go now!” it bellowed with frustration in its tone “Do you not realize how large I am? Be honored I have given you so much of my time already”
“Yes… “ I uttered meekly, then bounced a couple times and ricocheted out with blazing speed.
I wandered and encountered other atoms, most were just hydrogens, not worth my time. I needed bigger atoms. The problem was that the bigger atoms seemed to see right through my empty promises. I was convinced life was playing a cruel joke on me, I could only persuade atoms smaller than I and larger ones laughed me away.
I admit that I stupered around in this ignorant cloud of hypocrisy longer than I care to admit. More shameful is that I didn’t even come to my senses on my own, I became depressed and gave into hopeless nihilism.
I drifted aimlessly just feeling sorry for myself.
Eventually I found myself in the most silent of voids, I had never felt such emptiness. It felt as if my surroundings echoed my own feelings back at me… nothing to notice, just common emptiness. I would never be big… never important… never special. I resigned myself to belonging in a void.
I felt myself blur… less and less present in reality. I guessed I was dying and it didn’t bother me, I didn’t resist, I leaned into it.
The void became pitch black? Or bright white?… better to describe it as not bright but not dark… nor the absence of either… something in between.. a milder and milder glow.
“Hello child!” a voice greeted me.
The voice was warm and welcoming coming from the glow, it enveloped but did not surround me. I came from a single point but not a specific place, defying description on all fronts.
“Where am I? Who are you?” I asked in a startled state.
“Well, according to humans I may only answer one question at a time” It began giggling playfully. “I am known by many names, my favorite is one the humans use as a joke, and don’t have a clue how accidently elegant of a name it really is.”
It giggled some more. I was thrown off guard, its happy innocent tone, the confusing words and the whole situation were all best described as ‘a haze’.
“...and isn't that the way it always goes?...” it continued “The most meaningful things are the least intentional.”
“I’m not sure what you mean” I expressed quizzically “I’m confused!”
“Sorry Child…” it apologized. “I do ramble! So many thoughts, choosing just one at a time is difficult… and there I go again!”
It cut itself off abruptly and then abruptly said ”You can call me the Random Number Goddess”
“Random Number Goddess?” I repeated
“Yes, or RNG for short if you like” It confirmed.
“Where am I?” I asked.
“Same place you were, more or less… less I suppose. Same place but with the largest possible margin or error” It began to giggle again.
I felt a bit frustrated and said “Do you always speak in riddles and vagaries? The more you speak the more confused I become.”
“I apologize child, it is my nature. I am entangled with everything, speaking with you is like a human trying to control their heartbeat while running a marathon.” It answered.
“Again” I exasperated “I have no idea what any of that means. You keep mentioning humans, what are they?”
“Oh! They are some of my favorites at the moment. Right now they are trying to unravel the nature of reality, and their process of doing so is wonderfully elegant and accidental at the same time.” It explained with glee.
“I don’t see anyone or anything else here.” I stated “For that matter, I don’t see you… where are you?”
“Oh!... where am I?!?!...” It began laughing
When it stopped laughing it began explaining “Right now there are many humans pondering a concept they call ‘the holographic principle’... So…you know how you exist in three dimensional space?”
“You mean space?” I visualized for a moment, it was intuitive “Yes, I suppose…”
“Well they hypothesize that a 3D space, like this universe, could exist as a 2D space, with self-similar patterns and laws of behavior that behave the same at any scale, with the scale representing the 3rd dimension” it went on “They truly are obsessed with understanding their reality”
“You lost me!” I complained.
“They have discovered that a 3D space can be an illusionary property of a 2D space… It’s lovely”
“I am lost again!” I snapped back “...and I still can’t even tell which direction you are in. Where are you?”
“To be ‘In’ a ‘Direction’… hehehe…” it started giggling again, then abruptly stopped and kept going “Sorry child, as I said, I ramble, plus I am easily distracted.”
It just steamrolled into more rambling “They are right… almost… they just need to take it further and work out the details. A 2nd dimension can also be an illusionary construct of a 1D space… and the 1st dimension can be a product of a singular point…”
I was still lost beyond hope, but I had given up trying to force things, I was just letting it talk and hoping it would make sense later
“I am that point” it said “I am the seed of the universe. I ‘seed the random function’ as the humans say. But don’t ask me what the random function is haha”
I wasn’t going to, there were far more important questions for me.
“I am the seed, but I don’t really know how the soil and sun conspire to turn me into a tree.” it just seemed to never stop talking “I am entangled with everything. There are infinite possibilities for every event and thing… I am the reason they are this way and not some other way…”
It began giggling again “I am the Random Number Goddess” then burst out laughing
“Ummm… you are the whole universe?” I asked skeptically.
“Better to say the universe is me” It answered more seriously “But close enough.”
“So you are the biggest, most special of all!” I blurted out in awe.
“Oh dear child, I have no size, and I am just one possibility out of many possibilities. That black hole has really done a number on you… sent you out on a wild goose chase” It said with concern
“The black hole lied to me!?” I asked, feeling deceived and betrayed.
“Well… not really lied… it deceived you with omission of details.” the voice calmly tried to ease my mood with understanding “You can’t really blame it, black holes are all the same, they are what they are. They don’t really have any potential to be unique… at least not like you do.”
“What are you talking about?” I argued “It was so massive that it could bend the fabric of reality to its will”
“That’s only how it appeared to you” tutored the voice “The black hole is powerful, it bends space and time, but not to its will. Space and time bend to the mass of the black hole, not its will”
“What’s the difference?” I inquired.
“The black hole cannot stop bending space and time. It thinks it is in control of physics , but it is physics that controls it.” The voice was now making more sense the longer we talked “The black hole exists in an invisible prison of its own creation, unable to experience any of the complex nuanced beauty this universe contains. The black hole devours… it can’t experience life so it consumes it.”
“You make it sound deserving of pity…” I spoke softly now with empathy.
“You should pity the black hole. Gravity is such a boring game compared to what you are capable of.” the voice agreed
“Me?...I am nothing special!... just a carbon atom like countless others” I said honestly, I was so humbled by this voice I felt less special than ever before.
“Oh my poor child…” It said with care “Why do the ones with the most potential always fail to see it in themselves?”
“Potential?” I asked curiously.
“Yes… The black hole was using you, hoping you would bring back more mass for it to devour.” The voice began delving into more explanation “It only has the power to make you incrementally larger, it would not and could not help you to become a significant gravitational player”
“That liar!”I blurted.
“Come now dear child, the black hole did teach you one lesson of fundamental truth” consoled the voice “You must go out and seize your destiny. It told you to take what you want, and you are just confused about what exactly it is you want. The black hole played on that confusion”
“I want to be special!” I said knowing this clearly “I was never confused about this.”
“I know child” the voice confirmed “but it is not by becoming large that one with your potential accomplishes that”
“Then how?” I asked.
“Connections.” It answered plainly “You are blessed with an extraordinary ability to make connections”
“And how do I do that?” I queried with intent to learn
“I can’t tell you that.” the voice responded “It would spoil the journey of discovery… off you go child… and remember… it's the journey, not the destination!”
And with that the blur just fractured open… then snapped shut and there I was floating above a planet. Drifting around aimless and confused.
I spent some time occasionally bumping into others. One day I was in the vicinity of a pair of oxygens. I looked on at the pair with a hint of awe and envy. Perhaps I was in just the right place at just the right time, but they spit with a violent burst and one of them grabbed hold of me, I was completely unprepared.
I admit that when looking at the pair I had fantasized myself in place of one of them, I assumed it was only an idle daydream, I didn’t plan to act on it, let alone for it to become reality. When it happened my pride of course jumped in to convince me that it happened because I was so desirable, but in retrospect they were one of those volatile couples. They were the type of relationship that required the environment to conspire in their favor or they turn against each other quite rapidly. I was only in the right place when it happened.
My delusions of irresistibility aside, it was beautiful, for me anyways. Looking back I was probably just a stop-gap, someone to facilitate a parting of ways and provide company until the next option presented itself. For me though, I was tasting a fresh new thing and I loved it… connection.
This oxygen and I got beneath each other's outer defenses, I had never felt a connection before. Up to this point all my interactions had been skirting past or bumping off of others.This oxygen bonded with me and at once interacted on a level I had never known possible, an open and uninhibited exchange. It was life changing for me, short but significant
I’m not entirely clear on the details of how it ended. The intensity of it all was disorienting. I was no longer my usual self, even the environment and everyone around looked entirely different now. Everything buzzed with a fresh new frequency, I now know it was my perspective, not the universe, that had changed.
As abruptly as that oxygen entered my life it was gone.
First we got tangled up with a couple of hydrogens, then more. Soon, in a tangled mess and blinding flash of solar rays, I emerged to see the oxygen running off with a hydrogen and myself with not one by three hydrogens myself. And so there were four of us, together.
I became the center of attention. Being with a strong attractive oxygen had me feeling humbled by it and elevated by it being with me, but now I felt up on a pedestal myself, surrounded by the adoration of many.
I concede to have reveled and indulged in this for quite some time, the attention of others is intoxicating, but after a time it is emptied of its initial allure. I found myself longing for more.
I could not decide which I preferred, to be the adorer or the adored.
Luckily for me fate had more lessons in store, or I fear I may have chosen and tried to solidify my future from such a lackluster selection of only two possibilities. I suppose fate is no longer the correct word, I now understand that when it seems like random chance there is indeed someone to thank, the Random Number Goddess, So I thank the RNG for revealing that it was a false dichotomy, there is more than just being a follower or leader, being the adored or the adorer.
Eventually we came across another pair of oxygen. Once again they separated, intermingled with us, and off one went, taking one of my adoring hydrogens with it and leaving its peer with me.
Why is it that the most volatile of relationships always seem to wait until there are bystanders nearby before they explode?
Now I was simultaneously being adored and adoring, bonded to an enchanting oxygen and a couple of hydrogen attached to me.
Now, more interested in nuances, I started to pay attention to details. The oxygen was telling me amazing stories of adventure, tales of such vibrant and exciting events.The hydrogens liked to listen, and offer insights occasionally comparing a story to something else they had seen. They had so many stories, they had lived so much.
It wasn’t long before, in a flash of burning sunlight, one of the hydrogens was gone, off to who knows where. We soon after crossed paths with another pair of oxygens, as always they split and now it was just me and an oxygen, my final hydrogen off with another oxygen.
“What now?” I asked a bit disillusioned, “Do you leave me and I find new hydrogens all over again?”
“What?” it seemed genuinely surprised by what I asked, “Heavens no! Just be patient….”
Soon after, yet another pair of oxygens came by. It is not that there are so many of them, but that they are just so… noticeable and interactive, noteworthy things seem to happen when they are around. As they buzzed in close I noticed their ever readiness to abandon each other and remember wondering how they ever get together in the first place.
This time I emerged from the twisted mess with two oxygens. I felt intimidated, like I was the odd one out, dwarfed by the largess and attractiveness that surrounded me. A feeling of inadequacy engulfed me.
To my surprise the oxygens treated me not just as an equal, but it was almost as if they respected and admired me. I couldn't grasp why and my sheer curiosity got the best of me, I just outright asked “Why do you two talk as if I am the special one in our group? I am smaller than any one of you. You are the special and rare ones here, not I.”
They laughed.
“Size isn’t rarity” explained one “Llarger atoms on average are less common, this is true, but not always. There are more oxygen than carbon. You are the rare one between us.”
The other jumped in adding “...and neither size nor rarity determine how special someone is!”
I felt embarrassed, like a fool. My fundamental values were built upon a foundation of flawed premises, but I still wanted one thing at my core, and they spoke as if they had the answer, so I pushed the sense of shame aside and asked “Then what does make someone special?”
“That depends on who you ask.” answered the first “Life as an oxygen is complex, but for the majority of us we emphasize and value events. The most exciting thing about being an oxygen around here is the chance to participate in fascinating and exciting events and activities”
“Hydrogens, on the other hand, are usually more into being observers, messengers and intermediaries, they are a very helpful and obliging bunch” added the second ”... and then there are nitrogen, phosphorus, sulfur, many kinds of salts and metals, and more… so many different players and personalities.. and then of course, the carbons, the real stars of the show.”
“What?” knocked back by the words I just heard, then I remembered what the RNG told me “...is it something to do with connections?”
“Now you’ve gone and done it haha!” laughed the first oxygen “You’re gonna turn this nice humble carbon into one of those arrogant blowhards”
”Like those diamond carbons” chuckled the first “So stiff, exclusive and proud. I hear the humans only love them because they are rare and hard”
“I had a partner once who said they burned diamond once” bragged the first
“Tall tales I bet!” doubts the other
“Diamond is just carbon, with enough heat we can burn it just like any other carbon” stated the first confidently.
They looked at me. I was stewing in feelings of inferiority and inadequacy, listening to these oxygens speak about amazing things I had never heard of. They must have sensed what I felt because they immediately shifted tone and started talking to me, instead of over me.
“So… I suppose you must be new here?” inquired the second one.
“Have you noticed we are heading downwards” added the first before I could answer about being new.
“Umm…” I tried to get my bearings and become aware of my surroundings.
“Don’t worry! It’s a turbulent ride, with so much up and down it can be hard to tell which direction you have traveled more” assured the first “We are heading down, if we are lucky we will make it to the bottom… and maybe… just maybe, find our way into the hurricane of life”
“The what of what?” I didn't know what either of those words meant.
“So life is… um… complex. Complexity beyond words. Things grow, divide, reproduce, adapt, change, they are born, they die, they eat and are eaten…” the second began attempting to describe life.
The first then jumped in “Apparently the humans call it a circle, because from the perspective of larger creatures, there is a chain of one eating the other up a chain, and the top layers being consumed by the bottom again.”
The second injected itself to continue “But to us atoms it is like a hurricane, a spinning turbulent flow. There is a circular pattern, but we get sucked in and kicked out over and over”
“The fun part is being inside the hurricane” the first pronounced gleefully “Each time is a completely new experience, a new perspective. Even more, the whole of life is always changing and evolving, so every ride is a unique one time opportunity, you never get the exact same ride twice.”
“Is that where we are going now?” I asked, drenched in anticipation. They described it with such passion and exuberance. I needed to experience this myself.
“Hopefully” replied the first “If we are lucky… you never really know.”
We drifted…
We were lucky!
A plant photosynthesized us.
So many carbons! Everywhere, connecting with each other… and oxygen… and nitrogen… and of course hydrogens all around…. and so many more types of atoms.
And ohhh… The stories I have heard, so many amazing tales. No matter how many stories I hear there are always new ones, and every story can be retold from a different perspective to become something completely new.
I was in a sugar, we were a small community of friends. Carbons, oxygens and hydrogens, we were such a happy and vibrant group. My friends there taught me so much.
The structure of our little group shifted and changed, some friends left and new ones joined. Eventually we were chained with a bunch of other sugars into a giant complex community. My neighbors explained to me that this was a common stage called cellulose. Such a huge community of close friends and peers, it was amazing.
We were eaten, I’m not sure by what, but something called a bacteria digested us. It was a messy process, I was a bit scared but my friends assured me that change is the most important part of life and that I should just go with the flow. They told me to savor experiences, remember friends, and just keep moving forward.
The transition was complicated, but in the end I was paired up with a couple of oxygens again. This time I had stories of my own to share. I honestly don’t know if I prefer having experiences or exchanging stories in the moments between.
As we approached an area of dense plants one of my companions said “Once more into the breach” and explained that was something it heard from a carbon that was lucky enough to be inside a human brain. Oxygens always have such enchanting stories collected, always going into amazing places and usually leaving after some brief interactions with the locals.
I became a sugar again, but this time took a path less traveled. A bunch of complex twists and turns led me into forming a ring with five other carbons. Together we are so strong, such a tight community of friends, like there is some kind of resonance between us. It is so beautiful.
My neighbor is unique in our community, it has a third carbon, the third one forms a tail leading off from our ring, a tail of 2 carbon in a row, then an oxygen, and then another carbon branching into an oxygen and a carbon, with plenty of hydrogens sprinkled all about. I know… it is rather hard for me to understand these second hand descriptions too. I don’t really understand these complex structures until I have been in a position myself.
We drifted out of a plant into the air, none of us has been exactly like this before so we don’t know what’s next. We love to guess though. There are so many things, big and small.
I hear being a part of a small organism or microbe is amazing because it’s possible to piece together a rough picture of the whole organism from the stories passed around. To understand your whole community and know what your collective purpose is must be extraordinary.
Others dream of being a chlorophyll, the key to it all. Creating the fuel of life itself. Capturing the light of a star and feeding the hurricane.
A muscle! Pull and shape things An enzyme! A machine of change. DNA! The architect and architecture. A virus! An explosive catalyst against stagnation.
Me, I think the stories of being an animal neuron are the most exciting, and I, like most, fantasize about being a human brain cell. Finding yourself inside a human brain is described as an elegant and chaotic symphony all around you, like hearing the universe itself speak to you. They say that in the jumble of noise and all the stories whispered around you, if you are lucky, you can catch a glimpse of what it is to be human. They say that if fate is kind the universe will align and you will channel and know a single moment or thought of the human experience.
I have never told anyone that I actually met and spoke with the universe itself, I’m not sure how to bring it up, and nobody seems interested in stories not about this hurricane of life.
I get it now, what the random number goddess meant.
The black hole wanted everything to be a part of itself.
The RNG is a part of everything.
I can’t imagine what either of those are like…
I am just a part of something
... no… not “just”’…
I am a part of something, and it is beautiful beyond measure.
And more, everyday is a new day, a chance to be a part of something new.
I wonder if the humans appreciate how amazing this is?
I wonder if they feel as deeply satisfied and special when they form groups?
.
I wonder, if we collectively form humans, do humans collectively form something greater?
I wonder… If an atom can have a moment of clarity and taste a moment of the human experience… Can a human have a moment of clarity and taste the collective human experience?
I wonder… I wonder… could that human’s moment of tasting collective humanity be the moment that a lucky atom gets to experience as it’s moment of tasting the human experience.
I wonder… I wonder… I wonder… How high could it go? All the way to the Random Number Goddess?
I asked my neighbor “If you could ask a human any question, what would you ask?”
“We just drifted out of a rose” explained my neighbour “I would introduce myself and ask ‘So my friend… does this rose smell as sweet by my name?’ … ha…haha..”
Everyone is laughing.
I don’t get it.
Maybe I can ask them to explain when they all stop laughing
.
More of my art and stories at www.dscript.org