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Hello my name is nick im 17 and i have an rp idea

 BACK STORY OF MAIN CARACTER

His name is stefan he was an male viking Around (1267/1312) from denmark.
hes got long blond hair, long beard, blue eyes

 SECOND MAIN CARACTER BACK STORY

She was an medic named luna also from denmark
She had medium black hair, green eyes

 STORY

They me in a village when nick got his finger sliced while traning there they fell in love had a family but a war was start ing so nick had to leave his family and spend his time at the war some people died some people made friends but while nick was in war luna got sick she got cancer so nick not only he had to fight the war but now he was sad and dident know what to do so when the war ended he thot his wife is dead but she wasnt she got cured from cancer..................... More later im lazy

Since the latest patch, I have bore witness to a lot of people running daggers and dash and now I have also seen an uptick in backstabs...from the font. I dont know whats going on but its incredibly frustrating to die at 250HP in 1 shot from a mechanic that might not be working completely. The latest round i just did had two lights on one team doing this and there wasnt much we could do without inflicting alot of self damage.
Why is this happening? and how do you reasonably counter it so i'm not coming to reddit to vent? Its starting to get incredibly annoying

Hello. Have literally spent weeks trying to find the birth city in Italy of my great great grandfather. I have all of his US documents (death certificate, censuses, draft card, Italian sons of America membership, etc.) and literally not one lists a city. Also have spent hours going through ship manifests of which I came up with 3 that could possible be him, and again no city names on any of them. Anyone have ideas on where to go from here? I am still waiting on his cone record and marriage certificate to come in, but not holding out too much hope. Thanks!

Heyo, I'm the creator of "Death Follows", a Forge modpack centered around a multiplayer experience! This modpack originally started based on the Cursed Walking modpack made by OnMod. I asked him if I could take what he put together and expand on it, making a fork of his modpack, to which he allowed.
A quick rundown of Death Follows for those who are interested ( Here is the link if you dont want spoilers )
Death Follows is based around a multiplayer experience. I HIGHLY recommend using Cursed Walking if you want a much simpler modpack not adding some of the things that Death Follows offers. Cursed Walking feels more alone. It feels more like its just you in the world. WHICH IS A GREAT FEELING, however I like the idea of the threat of other people being around. The real thought you need to put in the game and considering if you want to be secluded, just trying to survive each day without dying, or are you going to make a showcase of a base that shows you want people to just try and defeat you. Also great for a hardcore experience!
Some of the notable things I would say are as follows:

Create mod
Point Blank Guns
Runs shaders on mediocre PCs real well (even w/o shaders its still very well put together, for reference, my build is a 1660 super with an i5 10400f, and I get 75fps consistently with *shaders, but for potato pcs, there is a shaderpack for you too, or just of course the option to opt out)
Attempting to use the best optimizations out to keep a good system going
Improved mobs, allowing for a difficulty scale as time goes on, to keep a reason for gathering supplies and resources to survive waves of hordes
Lost Cities mod, while the official server will not have it on due to the monster spawner lag that creates, the option for singleplayer users is there, and it is a great addition to the experience!
Custom datapacks (on the discord only) to improve the game for more casual players. While the basics of the game give great progression, it does seem like a bigger learning curve for users trying to play casually to survive the horde (Consider it a level of going from hard difficulty, to medium)

I could go ON AND ON about the modpack, but those are the key points I have to share ATM. Comment any questions and ill be checking back here, but if you want quicker responses, consider joining the Discord
EDIT: *shaders used that Im referencing is complimentary reimagined

Hello everyone!
My name is u/Alan-Foster and I've recently become the new top moderator for IntoTheShadowRealm. I'm currently working to polish the subreddit, create new rules, and recruit a small moderation team to help with seeding content and managing the community. Here are a few immediate rule changes that will be going into effect today:

To post in this community, you must have a minimum combined karma of 0, a verified email address, and an account that is at least 24 hours old.
Special characters, non-English posts or uncommon emojis will result in your content being removed by AutoMod
Discord Links and advertising is not allowed
URL shorteners, crowdfunding, petitions, and surveys are not allowed.
Personal contact information is not allowed (phone numbers, emails, etc).

Otherwise, some things you can expect soon:

A call for new mods to join the team
New flairs to assign to posts
A simple subreddit redesign
Any suggestions that you might have!

If you have any ideas that you wish to share to improve the subreddit, please post them below. Thank you for your patience as we update the rules and community. Have a good week!

Hey all!
So I have a 2013 WRX Limited. Let me just say, I am not mechanically inclined and feel like I’ve been taken advantage of by so many shops and dealerships.
So in in late February my clutch went out (pedal was stuck down, and while I could pull it up by hand, the car was stuck in neutral. I had it towed to a shop, where they replaced a small part on the clutch (and blamed the Subaru Dealership who replaced my clutch 1 year + 2 weeks earlier for overlooking the issue—an oversight.
Well ever since my clutch was “fixed,” from day one I’ve had this problem. While accelerating, the car gets jerky/squirrely and the ABS or traction control light blinks on and off. It may happen once, or twice, then it’s fine, and moments later the HILL ASSIST and TRACTION CONTROL lights come on and stay on, and my hill assist doesn’t work anymore.
I dunno if it’s related to the work the shop did by messing with my clutch. I couldn’t get any associations when researching.
So I’m here now, trying to get informed before I go back to the shop AGAIN (I’ve been there a few times just to update them that the problem persists). They assure me it’s not related to their clutch repairs. Tomorrow I’m supposed to drop it off for a few days so they can recreate the conditions and run some codes.
Any ideas from community?
I appreciate yall. Thanks in advance.

None of my team is on all at once for long periods, at most an hour or two. Is it possible to clear the pantheon encounter by encounter in different sessions to get platinum, or is one continuous run required?

Hi, so after running anbennar on a new setup all flags are just black.
I tried reinstalling the mod changing gameversions back and forth, I checked the playset so anbennar is the only mod in there and also repaired the gamefiles via steam but nothing worked. Any ideas are welcome as playing the game like this is really frustrating.

Context: I just started running the campaign (PC party of 4) in which i changed some things. One of them is an Veteran (MM) NPC that they meet at the start and help each other out. The NPC has a curse put on him by a dark wizard that slowly drains his life and I plan for him to get very sick after the party completes 2 starting quests. He then tells them about his curse and the wizard that did it. The party has to find the wizard and convince him to dispersr the curse and if he does the NPC is grateful and joins the party. I can even use him at the end of campaign for a sad death.
The NPC doesn't have full stats of a Veteran because he is weakened by the curse (for eg. He has lower hp, Strength, Dexterity and Constitution.
This is my idea and i'd like to know what you think about it.

Hi 👋
I know the best consequence for unwanted behavior is something related and immediate (e.g. you hit me with the toy, so I put the toy away right now), and that delaying a consequence will just make it illogical for the child (e.g. you drew on the wall with markers so you won't have dessert this evening), but I'd like to know if I can delay a consequence for like 20 minutes and still have my 2yo understand it.
Here's the situation. At naptime, my son tends to be a bit annoying (not listening, running away when I try to change his diaper, not wanting to wash his hands, etc). Something I've started to implement is setting an alarm. As long as the alarm has not rung, we do the naptime routine (wash hands, change diaper, sleep sack, stories, kisses and hugs). When the alarm rings, I put him to bed and leave the room. The alarm is set approximately 20-30 minutes after the end of the lunch, sometimes sooner.
The idea behind it is that if he wants to run around or play instead of getting ready for his nap, then he doesn't get to spend this time reading stories. But I wonder if he understands the connection between "I didn't come when Mom called me to wash my hands, I made faces at the mirror instead of getting ready, etc" and "I didn't get any story for naptime today and Mom left without kissing me when she usually cuddles for a bit". For me they are connected because they are things we do before naptime, and I also warn him several times that there's X amount of time left and when the alarm rings I am leaving, and we won't have time for stories if he doesn't get ready for bed now. But maybe the consequence is too delayed for him?
A few, maybe useful things to note:

My son just turned 2, he's closer to 24-25 months than 36.
I don't use a visual timer (I'm planning on buying one), so I try to give him many warnings about time passing and about what we may not have time to do
If he behaved well I may go past the alarm, e.g. finish reading a book and/or kiss and cuddle him
I admit going past the alarm also depends on how I'm feeling about his behavior during the morning. Sometimes I'm just fed up and I don't want to be lenient.
I implemented this method maybe 2 weeks ago? I admit it doesn't really work in the sense that he still runs around and doesn't listen to me, but it helps me because I know there's an end to me waiting for him to comply
Most of the times he manages to be silly and not listen, and still have time for stories and cuddles which, although a bit annoying, is part of the deal, so good for him I guess.

What do you think? Does my 2yo understand the connection between his behavior at naptime and the fact that he doesn't get stories a few minutes afterwards? Should I continue doing it, even if only for my own sanity? Should I tweak it a bit/a lot? Should I completely stop and find another strategy?

So I’m currently working on my own comic about a kid who was chosen with about 20 other teens gaining powers from a government experiment and trained by one of the heroes apart of a team called the Paragon but they learn that a bunch of that things can get real dark. I’m currently thinking of a good idea for a power for the mc and these are my 2. Elemental control: They start out with the 4 base elements (fire, air, earth, water) but slowly through trials and tribulations earn stuff like light and magnetism as well different combos and sub-elements of the base elements. Weapon creation: in the beginning, they start with like making basic swords, shields, bows, axes etc. as they progress through this, they start making more complex stuff like armor, guns, etc. The weapons would depend on the mc’s stamina and willpower and will also be on a time limit. So which one should I go with to make a better character journey?

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I filed for unemployment in June 2023 and just got a reply from the commissions department this month. This process took forever and at every step someone at TWC f’ed something up. I’ll try and make this as short as possible.
During the first stage of the unemployment process where someone calls both parties a few times to get info and then makes a decision, my ex-employers (EX for short) claimed I was fired for insubordination and said that I was fired after a heated argument in the office. Besides insubordination, this was not what I was told as the reason for being let go. EX won that portion. I appealed. For the Tribunal I had a witness that was present during said office spat and I sent in (way too much) evidence to back up my claim and any evidence for whatever else I thought they might lie about. I mailed this evidence to EX and the Tribunal via FedEx. I also made sure, several times by several different people in different departments that my evidence would get to the tribunal on time for the hearing. I did send it close to the date but everyone I spoke with said it wouldn’t be an issue. Come the date of the tribunal, I was told no one received my evidence. When I said I had a copy of the dates/times they arrived and who signed for it at both places, I got a reprimand from the hearing officer. My EX did not send in any evidence, had no witnesses, completely changed the reasons for my firing and didn’t even mention the office ordeal once during their turn (they were first), were VERY aggressive towards me calling me names and a lier, and lastly, kept referencing items that were not sent in, like emails, time cards, texts, ect. With no issue. Yet when I tried to do the same the hearing office would stop me and say I wasn’t allowed to reference items not sent in. Guess who won that appeal? I did order a copy of the hearing so I could listen back so I’m not recounting this by memory of the day. I appealed. Then it sat at the commission’s department doing nothing for 9 plus months. The commission’s decided that they agreed with the Tribunal ruling and it stands.
There is no possible way they reviewed anything. With my EX changing their reason for firing, never sending in any evidence at any point to prove what they were claiming, no witnesses, nothing. Yet I had a witness and sent in evidence multiple times (depending on whatever they were claiming at that time) that so clearly shows they are lying. How on earth do I keep being denied? And who do I reach out to for help and to get a proper review of my case. This should have been one of their easiest cases that year.
Side note: I also filed for unpaid wages and that took equally as long and the first girl did all sorts of stuff that didn’t make sense and made it take longer. But the woman who did the hearing after it was appealed… I couldn’t believe how different and how professional this hearing was compared to all my previous with unemployment. Plus she actually knew the case before the phone call started, she let the hearing run past the hour mark because it absolutely needed more time, she listened, asked good questions, and completely saw right through my EX bs and lies. (It’s really not hard to do since you have evidence sitting in front of you) After the hearing was done and we hung up, I cried. I bawled my eyes out from all the stress and because that woman came to work that day and did her job. She just did her job, like she was hired to do and is getting paid for. How f-ing sad is that??

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

Hey all of you!
I feel a little stupid about my question since I‘m puzzled that my setup is not working. I have a custom service running on abc.company.lan. (Not a container, it’s some 3rd party software I can’t touch) It is only available if one is in the network obviously.
My setup is an container with a bridge network, I want to call that api right from my container but for some reason i can’t connect. ( the ip gets resolved btw ).
Curling it from outside of the container works.
I‘d be grateful if someone has an idea to resolve that or any tips regarding to workarounds.
Thanks in advance! :)
Ps: I also tried network host which didn’t help either, could the server be blocking containers? How would they do that and why?

20F and just moved away. while living with my Father he was constant borrowing money from me or just straight up stealing my money w/o asking. Ive been working since I was 16 and don't recall a single paycheck where he hasn't borrowed most of it. He has put our shared account in the negative SO many times. He always claims it's because he has no money or cant afford a bill. This became frustrating overtime because I was never able to save up for anything. i tried hiding cash, opening up new bank accounts & yet somehow always the money was found out about because he would track when i got paid, how much i would be paid & question where the money went. IF i lied i would be scolded for "irresponsible spending" it got the point where I was watching him make financially irresponsible decisions and him falling back onto me and making it my problem. I paid for all of my own bills and stuff too.
My mom passed when I was 17 & I inherited money. I wanted to use this money to move when I graduated high school. My parents were separated when my mom passed & they were never together, my dad lived in another state and i moved with him when i was 15 because he threatened to take my mom to court because he felt he was a better fit parent. Prior to that, I rarely even ever heard from him. I saw him maybe twice a year.
My dad disagreed with Idea of me using the money to move back home. I would've only needed 5% of it to actually move. His idea was for me to buy his car from him and pay off half the mortgage to our house. He claimed he would build a new house the next summer & I would have a master bedroom. Since we were living in a run down old farmhouse, it needed to be severely remodel or just knocked down. It had holes and cracks in the walls. Hed tell me things like I'll never be able to live on my own & convince me that my family back home doesn't care that much about me. I felt hurt & confused. i ended up just agreeing to the idea thinking well at least I'll have a car a house. also ended up being convinced into buying him a new riding lawn mower & a trailer that attaches onto a truck. There was still more money I don't know where it went.
Non of what he said he was going to do happened, my car needed a new engine and I even paid him the money to get it fixed and it took him two years to get it done. I watched him make more financially irresponsible decisions. this man genuinely believes i OWE him money. Because he had to pay child support for me when I was younger or because he had to care for me when I didnt have a job when i was A MINOR. He acts like he was there for my entire life, when i KNOW he wasnt. He makes six figures & has a wife that also makes almost that, yet they cant afford to live and somehow had to fall back on me. Now im moved out at 20 and have non of my inheritance yet somehow i can afford to live. I grieve all the money I could've had. (If you're wondering how I moved, a friend helped me and Im currently paying them back.)
Would I be wrong to cut him off completely now that I moved away? He has already called three times about money, and I've told him no and hes gotten pissy with me and even got upset at the job I have and told me I need to make more money.

Club name - Lincoln City 2 Div 1 team

Alright well folks keep asking an update and I have been meaning to, things went smoothish for a bit, but then got more fucked up again and then fine and then fucked again just this morning so here I am. Using you all to make sense of it.
Edit: here's the original post, sorry
https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/comments/1clivwd/i_36m_surprised_wife_32f_by_coming_home_early/
For the days after we talked a lot, she was adamant she wanted nothing to do with him, has no feelings other than friendship and now that she was aware both (a) the possibility of him trying (it is true I or she still don't *know* his intentions) and (b) my reaction to her behavior (leaving out his presence later with her in text messages to me after carpooling/putting our kid to bed, trickle-truthing me on her view of his possible intentions), she said she "doesn't want anything to do with him. no, just no."
She offered up her phone if I wanted to see their conversations, she did the location sharing thing on her iPhone. Was pretty clear that this was all some bullshit and she hates that this situation ever became a thing. She was losing a friend but was more than willing to.
We set some boundaries.

People over late at the house, just let the other person know. Obviously family doesn't count. Just to avoid any possibility of any inference, better to let each other know who is in our house that late, 1 on 1.
For people who may we feel even have hints of intentions beyond platonic, we should overshare with each other. (thanks helpful commenter) Not overanalyze every relationship but just things like "Doc X said this today, kinda weird" or "new guy at foraging seemed to like me a lot". Stuff like that.

I don't want to be a controlling person, I'm not that person but maybe because of my history I require more openness and communication about things like that in a relationship. She told me I was being too worried about her feelings/me being controlling and that was more than willing to do anything it took to rebuild any trust that was broken from the situation.
2nd session of marriage counseling and obviously topic came up first. I started to give a brief history but got interrupted by our child upstairs, I gave them some attention and came back down to continue. When I got to the part of coming home, taking a shower and confronting my wife, I can't remember who said what, but it was interrupted, talking happened and then the therapist said "and it sounds like (wife name) recognized what had happened and your past". Wife said she didn't know how close/similar some of the details were and the conversation moved on from there. The omission of his presence in text messages, trickletruthing, none of that was brought up.
But things were looking up, not sure I like the therapist but whatever. Things seem to be good. She seemed fairly contrite though I really was still bothered by the red and orange flags planted in my little mind garden.
Fast forward, a week? Something like that.
I fucked up. I guess I'm glad I did but I did fuck up. I don't sleep much, 5 hours max. Was up early, garden tending, made breakfast for little one and coffee for her, usual. I saw her work bag on the floor and I saw her journal in there. And I fucked up and I read it. I wanted to know if he (the 21M) was in her journal.
For some context, I read the journals of my late partner, who died over a decade ago, and it was a stupid horrible mistake. I read things that I shouldn't have, very raw thoughts and feelings, pros and cons list of me. Shit like that. Then, entries about the other man and her falling in love with him. And her thoughts about her conflicted thoughts about leaving me. Near the end, if I recall, she didn't know, she loved us both but we were so different. I kept the journals, still have them somewhere, but I did burn those last pages about him. I do recall telling myself that I was protecting future me. I'm glad I burned those pages and I'm glad I kept her journals but I don't venture to read them anymore. I will again when I'm older, to keep her alive in me somehow I guess.
Anyways, when I saw her journals in the bags I just grabbed them and I read the latest couple pages. Innocuous stuff until I got to about a month ago.
It said: "Texted all night and hike Monday"
Now that wasn't me she texted with or hiked with on that day, that was with him. When she forgot to get her prescription.
So that meant two things to me:

Who writes "texted all night" in their journal with someone they don't have feelings about? I'm not a journaler person, I don't like my thoughts enough to put them to paper, but that doesn't seem right to me. No name but def him, the dates match. I don't know, again, I don't journal so maybe anything can mean anything in there but what the fuck.
She had planned on hiking with him. She didn't tell me that. She told me of her plans going hiking after work to pass the time before the pharmacy opens, but never told me that he was going too.

In fairness, she told me after she sent pictures of the hike to me and his dog was in the photos. But she didn't mentioned they had planned it together, seemed spontaneous but I never asked I guess.
So yeah, I stopped reading. Kinda felt like I was shot with an arrow. Pretty horrible feeling because I thought things were going to be okay but I now I read this shit.
It was like 6am at this point, so I went on a run to clear my head and get the adrenaline out. Some tears too. Got home and they were still sleeping, when they woke up and we were alone I asked her again if she ever developed any feeling at all for him. She said no. I told her I read her journal. I apologized but I told her I read something and I needed an explanation.
She wasn't happy. She told me those are personal, her thoughts and not for other people. She was also confused as to what I could have possibly read about him/the situation that need explaining. She asked me to show her the entry, I did.
[context, they work overnights together]
Her response was: "Oh yeah, we texted a lot that night. He wasn't working but I was. You know I wasn't home right? I was working that night."
I asked why it was in her journal? And why were you were planning to hike with him but when you told me about your plans for that day, you never mentioned you were planning it with him?"
She said "Well I didn't know for sure he would come, we were talking bout it but I didn't know for sure" and the texted all night part "didn't mean anything", that journals are fragments, not full thoughts and she was just writing it
I didn't like that answers at all honestly. We had another long discussion where she reassured me it meant nothing, that it shouldn't be interpreted as anything about her having feelings for him. I believe her. I don't know how she journals so maybe this isn't far out of the norm, I don't know.
Have to be honest here, the trust I had in her, a lot of it left. Which is pretty much the basis of a relationship. A lot of people sent me messages after my post with spy cams and shit. If I had to resort to that, I'd just end the relationship I thought. Now here I am snooping on her journals.
Two days later, kid and I go out camping at a park for a couple nights (she's working). Have a blast. During that time away I decide it's important to me to know what conversations took place between them. Yes I snooped, but I think it's reasonable, at this point, to demand to know just what types of things are said between them. She offered earlier, I just never took her up on it because it was really obvious to me, she felt she had nothing to hide.
But after this journal entry thing, yeah I would like to know what 'texted all night' means. I thought if the conversation that night is just bullshit, sure whatever. If it's more, or that night is deleted or something, then I'll know. I honestly expected to read the messages, be reassured of her side of the story and move on.
So we got home yesterday from camping. This morning I asked her if I could read their conversations. Explained why and without hesitation she said yes and went to get her phone. Gave it to me and I sat to start reading.
They had been texting recently, mostly innocuous mushroom stuff, then a one/ a couple attempts by him to come ovego out foraging. I guess he was going to around our area (he lives an hour away) cruising on his motorcycle and her response to him was, as close as I can recall was:
"not today not allowed to have anyone at home. lol"
Alright what the fuck
She saw my face and asked what was wrong. I put the phone down and said I don't want to read anymore.
I asked if she had told him about my view on their relationship, or what happened or anything about him/heI. She said no. I asked again. She said no, he has no clue, she never mentioned anything.
I showed her the text and asked her why she would say that.
Why would she say "no one was allowed" at home? People are allowed in my home, that wasn't any of the boundaries we set together. He's been here, clearly. And why would she say that to him if she never mentioned anything like that to him?
Her response was that she meant she wasn't having people ovewas busy. She then told me "you were home that day...I don't get it". Yeah I didn't read the dates of the text but even so, why the fuck would you word it that way? That's not even close to "no, I'm busy today" or literally any other million ways to say I'm not available today. I'm not allowed to have people at home is entirely different. lol is entirely different.
I cannot see how on earth you get from those words to that meaning she says she was trying to convey. Maybe I'm wrong. She said she didn't mean it that way it's not her mother tongue. To be fair, English is not her first language. She's quite fluent and has learned it from childhood but it's not her primary language. We've spoken exclusively English together for the ~decade I've known her. You wouldn't know it wasn't her primary talking to her unless you had a good ear. But she's right, maybe it just is a mistranslation. She said it was "clumsy" and not meant in any way to convey anything more than "I'm not available today".
We talked all morning until she went to bed. She reassured me she loves me and only me. I walked through every red flag, every opportunity for her to be honest an open. I asked why she didn't tell me about his recent attempts to meet up again?
She said she didn't know she should have told me. She said she didn't know she had to replay every conversation with him to me. I said she didn't, that's not what I was asking. But I was asking for her to be extra open about her relationship with him to me and him asking to come over, twice, definitely would require her letting me know.
I told her she didn't respect me at all. I told her she didn't care enough to tell me. I told her she's not being open and honest with me. That it's not me and her against the world, that this relationship is something else.
She reassured me it meant nothing but now that she sees how that text could be read that way (as if they had discussed him not being allowed in our home, she still denies), that she understands why I would react that way. She was frustrated, she said "it feels like a little fly came into my life and shit all over everything", referring to him and his advances as the cause of what fucked this all up.
I reiterated to her, every step along the way, in which she could have been truthful to me and decide to omit information.
Texting all night and planning the hike.
Staying over late after carpooling together, after our kid went to sleep, texting me and not mentioning he was still over.
Trickle-truthing me on whether she thinks he's interested in her.
His two offers to meet via text/messenger or whatever (that I saw, didn't look more) that she didn't think to tell me about.
And her reply of "not today not allowed to have anyone at home. lol" whatever the fuck that means.
Her position is still the same, that this is all the bad coincidences and misunderstandings, misreading texts or journal entires, etc. But she says she loves me, has only eyes for me and better understands now where I'm coming from.
So.. there's my little hell I've got for myself.
Personal therapy starting soon but I guess reddit therapy will do for now. It's somehow therapeutic to remember this and type it all out. Sorry, looking back this is insanely long, it's too long to proofread if shits garbled. Took me all day to write I guess.
Last post I felt very overwhelmed by the response, sorry I didn't respond to a lot of comments or questions or clarifications. I'll try to do better here, since this is probably the final time I'll use reddit as therapy.
Thanks in advance. I guess I should ask in this field of flags is there some green grass? I trust my wife. I did. When she tells me she loves me and only me, I'm convinced. Or is this all as fucked as the plain reading makes it seem? Because it does seem quite fucked.

Hi! I'm helping with a bingo to raise funds for donations to a women's shelter. We want to put together care packages for child free women, moms, and babies. Here are some ideas that we have:
•small makeup care packages Think, small neutral pallettes, brushes, lip balms, facial creams, spf, face wash, maybe a nail polish, hair care products, nail clippers, tweezers, etc.
•crochet baby blankets, Diaper cream, baby lotion/wash
•Womens Clothes (underwear, socks, bras, t shirts, sweat pants), menstrual products, lactation products (we were thinking some of those gel nipple covers that you can freeze? My sister swears by those)
•Healthcare products: Bandaids (not name brand because of carcinogens), peroxide, rubbing alcohol, triple antibiotic ointments,
•Baby clothes, burpees, stuffed animals, blankets, diapers, onesies!
We're looking for input from ALL women! What are other things that we are missing that these shelters need? I KNOW we're forgetting something! Any help is appreciated and we all appreciate your help!