Hello,
I work for a retail chain where I moved up fairly quickly. I moved to a location that was closer to my home and began working with a person that I got a little too close to.
I should have always kept things professional, but we were soon spending a lot of time together outside of work. This person was cooking for me, making coffee for me at the office, flirting, lots of embraces when no one was around, randomly buying me gifts, making a lot of sexual comments at me, etc.
This relationship tip-toed into almost physical on several occasions, I just couldn't bring myself to go that far at work with fear of losing my job. I felt like I was trying to be seduced at work.
Eventually this person got into a relationship. I cooled things off and stopped giving them any attention or special treatment. Which I admit I was guilty of. They knew how to play me and they got a lot of attention and special treatment. Their behavior became very hot and cold with me.
One day in a ditch to save money, then company decides to slash hours. Easily cutting more than a 100 hours a week from each location. When this person found out, they put in their two week notice but not before disparaging me and ruining my reputation.
Another associate from a different store was working with them on that day. It took me a year to find out but my coworker told the other associate that I was "being creepy", giving them "too much unwanted attention", constantly "buying them things", "stalking them". My coworker had told a few other people in private that they were quitting because there wasn't anymore hours for them. This other store's associate was told that my coworker had to put in their notice and quit immediately cause they feared for their life around me, that I may attack or harm them. This is after me cutting all contact and communication and not seeing this person for several months due to our schedules no longer lining up. I hadn't talked to or even so much as texted this person for months. They conveniently left out all of their parts of the relationship to make things seem one-sided and they were a victim.
Now the other store's associate went back to their store and spread the gossip. It doesn't help that the other location has an immature older lady running the place that still believes she's in highschool. Now this older lady has spread gossip throughout the whole district that I'm creepy, I should be avoided etc. Despite this I've been promoted again. When I need to get coverage from another store, it's almost impossible because everyone has been warned to steer clear of me and my location.
I hate having this stain on my reputation, but I'm very conflicted. The job is decent pay and fairly easy. It's the kind of job you can work maybe 40% of your shift, and the rest is downtime watching TV etc. So in one sense it's very comfy. The benefits and location are also very good.
The one thing I really hate about the job is their hours. The operating hours are now middle of the day and that makes work life balance very difficult. It's one of those jobs where you don't have time to do anything early morning or at night when you get off work.
So do I keep the job and just try to ignore everything. No one from upper management or HR ever came to me with questions, which makes me thing they are just treating it as unfounded rumors and gossip. I honestly can't stand the immaturity of it though. People who I used to be really cool with have turned their backs on me, believing all the gossip and lies.
If I were to quit, I'd have to take a job with more physical labor and less pay, but there is a chance that I'd get better hours. I've worked so hard to achieve a lot at this company and it would suck to have to work my way back up from the bottom again.
TLDR: had a relationship with someone at work, they lied and used it as an excuse to be a victim, ruined my reputation and now I'm unhappy at work.

hi! so, ive been struggling with my sexuality for years. ive been exploring, and i had multiple partners i thought i was attracted to, but i want wasnt. i was questioning if was aro/ace for years, but i recently figured out my identity and know for sure im on the aroace spectrum
i believe the correct label for me is as gray aroace, since i have only once felt a actual attraction to someone else during my life. rest of my exes were mostly me saying "oh, i dont actually like them like that, i just enjoy theyre company". though i am not opposed to the idea of relationships, i just dont experience romantic/sexual attraction like, 99% of the time
i used to identify as bi before i figured out i was aro/ace, but since i have had an attraction (as a woman, for another woman- though i wouldnt mind my partner being male or female if it came to that) would it mean i would still identify as bi? i experience attraction to another person very infrequently, but despite it being infrequent i still experience it, albeit rarely? i believe i still am bi, and feel quite comfortable with the label, but maybe i need more knowledge on the topic? so if anyone could help it would be much appreciated.<3

So for most of our relationship (four years), my partner has been switching jobs and had some bouts of being unemployed. While he did keep his last job for about a year, it was a job with no benefits (like vacation and sick leave or any yearly extras).
In the meanwhile, I've been grinding my way through with a difficult three shift job with the same company, doing overtimes and ultimately climbing my way in the corporate ladder to a somewhat comfortable position with normal working times and acceptable paycheck.
The financial burden has mostly been on me for all this time. I've always been covering the rent alone and I got the best place I could afford for us, but it's far from good. I've been paying for all trips (he does not ask to go on any, but I personally can't stand not having a vacation at least once a year, because I don't know what I'm even working for then). Granted, he helps with groceries and his family often invites us for meals, but I also often provide food for both of us.
He also struggles with depression, and during his last bout of unemployement, he had a particularly dark period. At some point after that, he said he realized he needs to provide as well and we need to have a constant income, and he got serious about finding a job with normal contract and solid paycheck. When he finally did land one, I was over the moon and we also started planning moving into a bigger place.
But, when he started working and signed the contract, he immediatelly started saying how much he hates the job and started applying to different ones. His reasons for hating it are that they're using shitty software and he doesn't like the work environment. So he got an offer from a different company for a different job with minimum wage. He thinks he would ultimately be able to progress there and make more than he does on current one and he does have long-term plans to specialize in something else. He also thinks he could still cover half of the rent if we get a bigger place.
However, based on my work experience, I'm very sceptical of this new job providing any kind of stability and I don't think it's financially viable, nor that the people in charge really care about people working under them (I think they just want to get away with paying them as little as possible). The current one might have it's flaws, but it provides substantially more money that would increase our quality of life.
I love my partner to death and he is the most important person in my life. We click on many other levels and I can't see myself spending my life with anyone else. Ultimately, I want him to be happy. But, I'd be lying if I said my needs were being met for years now and I have a crippling fear that life will pass me by without being able to travel and explore the world. At the same time, I hold back from speaking my concerns most of the time because I don't want to affect his mental health negatively.
Right now, I don't know if I should give the new job the benefit of doubt and let him do his own thing or insist that it's not a good idea. I don't want him to be unhappy at his current job, but I don't know want to put my life on hold anymore either. I also have no idea what we would do if I lost my job, which can happen in this hectic world.
TL;DR - Partner is leaving a well paid job he just got for a minimum wage one; the financial burden has been on me througout the whole relationship and I'm worried this act means it will be on me for years to come. I don't want him to be unhappy at his current job (that would provide financial stability), but I don't know if I can continue putting my life on hold either. What do?

Wish I could figure out how to create a “Live Chat” like the one in the banned “Ozempic Suppliers” sub.
My moral compass reads, screw insurance companies who put profit over health and DEFINITELY big pharma.
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Hey all, here is my scenario and current plan would love people to question my thought process.
Goal = Get off the treadmill, although still happy to work / consult but slow the pace down a bit enjoy more family time, Get a meaningful positive cashflow from investments.
38, Married with 1 kid (no more incoming).
PPOR = $1.8M (owe $0.69 cents (just cos) on $700k mortgage which can be redrawn. )
Shares = $1.4-1.5M after CGT in my company (way too high risk for me).
HHI = $200-220k pre tax (lower than alot of you, but partner has started new business which is starting to grow)
Yearly Expenses = $70k (can save around 50k per year after expenses). Potential for private school in 4 years, maybe..........
Plan
Sell $750k'ish of shares (after CGT) invest in commercial property ($2-$2.5M range, a good long lease,) with a net yield estimate 6%. Net cashflow around $30k-38k per year (not included capital growth). This will be purchased in a Discr. Trust with Corporate trustee to divy out the income.
Take $500k-600k of the last of the shares and sell down over the next 6 months place into some ETF's. Then add the extra 50k per year into the ETFs. Lets say $24k per year at a 4% withdrawal rate.
Leave 100k in High interest for commercial property issues and life things.
Whilst I'm working, the net income from the commercial property pays off it's mortgage.
Worst case, the above would provide me with $55k per year in income, with $70k expenses. Meaning I have the flexibility to take a lower paying role, and still save and still have growth in my investments.
I'm not really touching the equity in my house at all as it's a safety net, but I could potentially look at using against another investment down the road and debt recycle. I could potentially leverage more tbh.
The above plan spreads my NW risk across, my house, commercial property, and the Market (ETFs), and gives me flexibility and cashflow over the coming years to find a job that aligns more, figure out my next steps and reduce any major stresses.
What are people's thoughts?

Bit of a long one here but I’ll try to keep it short. A friend who I’ve known for roughly 1.5 years & I recently started “dating”. He used that word, I originally didn’t. But that’s what it was. We would hook up, go out, have dinner with mutual friends, I met some of his, he met my mum etc etc. He constantly talks about our “relationship” (again, his words) & when our friends call me his gf he doesn’t correct them. But here’s the thing, he uses all these buzz words… but we aren’t actually in a relationship (well, all but the title.). We have discussed this at great length (but I don’t want to bring it up again too much & scare him - hence me coming on here) & he tells me he wants that, but he doesn’t want to rush. It’ll be 3 months of dating in June. 6 months if you include the casual hook up at the start of the year. But then feelings were confessed & after a short break we reconnected.
We both officially lost our jobs this month (company we worked for went under in march) & he has a lot to sort right now which he claims is getting in the way of him being ready for a relationship at this time. No job (yet! But interviews), wanting a new house & car but the rental markets crazy & he can’t get a car until he finds a new job.
He’s fairly consistent with communication, I know I’m the only one he’s seeing & we have a great time together, seeing each other at least 1-2 nights a week with regular texts & calls in between.
So what’s the hold up? Is he being genuine & still just recovering from being burned from his last relationship (a detail I know about) plus all these other life obstacles? Or am I stuck in a situationship?
I really need advice. I really have deep feelings now but I need to end it if it’s going nowhere. An outside perspective may help! (My inside circle mostly know him & want me to stick it out)

(Sorry for the english)
I currently have a C Class with full capacity. Unfortunately, someone crashed into the back of my car last week, which is why I have to repair it. The other person's insurance company gave me €16,000. Now I have two options. Either repair the car for about 4-6,000 and keep the profit or sell the car and use the insurance money to buy another car (E Coupé). However, I can't get the equipment I have in the C Class, otherwise it would be too expensive.
What should I get?

The world isn't for introverts talaga, or for me idk. When I was in high school, hindi ako yung main person na inaaya during groupings, gala even yung mga simpleng pagpapasama somewhere. In college, I also don't have a permanent circle. Okay daw akong kausap, pero parang hindi ako treated as someone for keeps. Hanggang ngayon ba naman, in my very first job, maliit na nga lang na kumpanya hindi pa rin ako treated equally as my coworkers.
I keep convincing myself na okay lang, baka once lang mangyari. Pero it happened again and I can't convinced myself na it's okay, KASI HINDI. IT WILL NEVER BE OKAY. This is why I am scared of entering the workforce. Hindi ako takot na magfail sa job duties kasi I know it can really happen, pero things like this na since I was young nangyayari at mauulit uli?
I don't think I'm capable of experiencing life if sa bawat stage ng buhay ko I don't feel I deserve company.

Howdy. Hows your weeek?
Let me start off by saying if you have a Fricking wif3 don’t tell me you’re single and lead me on sick of that shit and I have no sympathy for your dead s3x life.
I’m quite a homebody that mixed with being sick in bed has left me in a bit of a pickle. But it’s a bit too quiet.
Could defo use some company or someone to chat with. If you’re funny, over 25 and not a total ass hat then let’s be friends. (Helps if your cute too but not a deal breaker)
I’m very much a go with the flow person so I’m not really putting boundaries in possibilities so like I said if somethings there it’s there. To be transparent just had a 5 month relationship go to the shitter so if your funny and reassuring I’d really like to that because i could use a giggle.
So yeh hit me up I waffle like this all the time so be warned and yeh check my profile I have other posts and see what my type etc is.
Also to make sure I can weed you out of the mass flood of penis add your fav emoji so I know you read this far 🩵

Mine was when my mother went on a rant about how her mother was right about abandoning her children to try and save her marriage. That she would always prioritize security of her marriage over the relationship with her own children. She went on about how she needed his money to fund her lifestyles and she no longer wanted to work past 50 etc. How she couldnt wait for his life insurance to hit because he would die before her. I couldn't stand the conversation.
My nan left when her children were between the ages of 12-4 years old. She left because she was bipolar and my grandad was threatening to divorce and to send her to a psychiatric hospital. She had been caught attempting to drown her youngest child and had a breakdown that resulted in her streaking around the high street. She went off to Mexico that same week of the report to avoid police and the psychiatric hospital, she went to stay with family to "fix her mind" she came back a decade later.
Grandad still divorced her when she returned and he claimed "she abandoned the family". This caused another breakdown and she was institutionalized when my mum was 20. She was released 3-4 years later.
I just remember that conversation and realizing my sister and I meant nothing to her. We were the chore, the annoyance in her life. Its the same way her mother talks about her 5 children at every event. Disdain. They both provided children because thats what their husbands desired. They had no actual interest in them at all.
Whats yours?

Hi all. I am 23 F working for a big 4 company. I currently stay in a pg in dlf phase 2 and the social life is pretty non existent here.
Everyone stays in there room or already has a friend circle outside of the PG. I went to my cousins pg in Delhi and the people there were very kind and friendly. Had a nice house party there which made me realise that I need a better pg in terms of socialising.
Your suggestions are most welcome.

I have committed major sin against a Muslim, for years of "being friends" in school, I was just putting on a facade, and had no real interest in her. I'd be happy and smiling all the time, and that was not who I really was. I should've told my real feelings and intentions to her. I think the reason I was sticking with her was for company and how I didn't want to be alone. While she was really attached to me and loved me sincerely. Somehow I kept justifying my deeds in my head and numbing my conscience till I didnt even think about it. i would think its too late or this would ruin my reputation bla bla. This happened for half of school years.
After dropping out of school and with all the free time to think, another 2 years went and i couldn't bear my guilt, admitted my real intentions, betrayed her trust, broke her heart, still she forgave me. It freed me. But again, the next (this) year, despite her forgiveness, I realise that I chose to hurt her and oppress her willingly over and over again, for years, so I feel like like I'll end up in Hell. She could change her mind in day of judgement after seeing everything and choose not to forgive me. What would I do then? I just used her for my benefit and let her like that.
It was narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: 'Whoever cheats us is not one of us
The Messenger of Allah [SAW] said: "The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the people are safe, and the believer is the one from whom the people's lives and wealth are safe.
If I couldn't care about her feelings nor wasn't God conscious, then how will Allah take care of me? Everything is starting to hit me now. Deep inside, I am always unhappy and dislike myself and now I see why. How can I hope for happiness, destroying another person's happiness? I don't have peace of mind, especially in certain days like these, and im stuck with depressing thoughts. It's like logically I know I deserve hellfire, and that I should go there atleast for a certain amount of time, because going to heaven without understanding the depths of pain and suffering I caused seems unfair, and still... I cannot imagine going to hell
I feel like my heart is sealed, and I cannot get closer to Allah. How can Allah care for the oppressed and oppressor at the same time? I feel like a hypocrite trying to do good deeds, it doesn't usually affect me much too.
How do I navigate my life? Is there any hope for me? Most of all, I don't want to experience jahannam but whether I'll be saved from it or not is not guaranteed. I don't know how to live with myself anymore.

So ive changed careers and evidently ive chosen the wrong industry (again) for me but im kind of stuck now as im early 30s and need to start earning a bit more.
I started off as a developers QS. Hated it and left after 2 years. Thought estimating would be a bit more relaxed but it was insufferably boring and the set up wasnt right for training me there. Left after a couple of months. Moved back to developers QS hoping it was just the previous company. Hated it again. Left after a year.
I now work as a Development Monitoring Surveyor which I dont mind but they are making me do RICS chartership and wont allow me to progress without it. But i have to do it on the QS pathway where its very difficult to a)recall back to previous work at places i no longer work. b) have minimal QS support as my new company doesnt have QS's and c) not only having to recall back but the work developers do things is invariably not "RICSy" so essentially have to make up that i dont things the "correct way" and the be grilled on that. So its a pretty tough task.
There doesnt seem to be any way forward me other than going back to Developer's QSs and hating life again or remaining on a graduate salary consultant side. This is more of a rant than asking for advice. But if anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated.

Hi, recently switched to a rifleman and I want to share my thoughts as well as hear your opinion on the subject if you have some experience with this build/weaponry.
For reference this is my build:
https://nukesdragons.com/fallout-76/character?v=1&s=6a64aaa&d=sg2sb2p02pd1pk1po2pp2pl1ce0cu2la2l71l10lk2lu2lv2s72ao0a12a04a32ib4s12im1in1ir2eh2eu0e00ek0&lp=x13x43x73x83x93xm3
Unyielding, mainly energy weapon based.
I'm living on popcorn, purified water (used to overeaters pa), company tea and eventually canned coffee.
I do not pretend to be able to deal the same damage as a true meta build. And i accept the limit of unyielding (radiation zones/damage, some particular daily ops combo).
Still I aim to a certain degree of efficiency to deal with my way of playing.. soloing expeditions, being able to carry an event if necessary and classic endgame stuff.
I'm not interested in free aim, vats based.
My equipment is mainly based by 4+1 weapons:

• "+1" being Aristocratic/Explosive/15 reload Black powder rifle, kind of meme weapon, but it perfectly fit so I like to have it on the favourite wheel for when i can just have fun without worrying about dps/time and this stuff.
  
• Instigating/50 more critical damage (50 from so on/ 25 less action points cost (25 from so on) Enclave rifle: reflex and aligned sniper rifle.
  

I would prefer something like Anti Armor to be not linked to enemy life but it's fine. Enclave plasmas puck a punch in any way you build them.. strong, smooth fast reload, with severe beta capacitor the ammo capacity goes from 9 to 15. Only true issue is stealth (as all the energy weapons) and the high ap cost. But as rifleman, is sustainable.
-Bloody/50 hit chance/25 Laser rifle: I use the snappy receiver (or whatever it is) for keeping a nice rate of fire. I tried the aligned sniper barrel but.. that stuff seemed a bit crap to me, not just the reduced ammo capacity (from 30 to 9) but the fact that it doesn't seem to really compensate that with an increase on damage, on paper looks fine but using it.. no no. Probably bounded to the "charging". Switched to the other aligned long rifleman barrel

• AntiArmo25% faster rate of fire/25 Ultracite Laser Rifle: that's been a freaking surprise. Laser are a bit delusional on commando, especially the Ultracite and with faster fire rate

But on a rifleman.. wow.. this weapon seems to be made for this, powerful, with a rate of fire higher than my finger can press (63 with calibrated capacitor where 63 should be the number of ammo shoot in 10 seconds). 30 ammo capacity and a decent enough reload
It's not stealth but surely my favourite weapon with this build. With the rifleman barrel it also looks really cool and well fitted.

• Quad/50/25 Gauss Rifle: this is the main weapon, especially for bosses.. silent (at least in theory since it has the silencer, not used enough to say if the explosive effect break the stealth), with perforating capacitor for 40% armor penetration and a really high base damage.

I hate it aesthetically.. is higher than my character..
But it also is the weapon that most makes me wonder how it works (or to best use it). My idea, using a quad, was to not lose time charging shot, just spamming. But i don't know (if someone of you have some experience I would appreciate your thoughts) how much damage do i lose not charging shot, if it would be better to completely charge at least the crit shot.
It's also a bit buggy, going 404 and not getting you sprint, stim and reload till you either bash/fire a complete charged round or switch weapon.
It seems to be mostly a problem in first person and this bugs me since Escape Artist is smoother in fp.
Finally, the most important part.. advice me on some outfit to use.. being "free" or atom shop, whatever, if you have a good combination. Right now I'm using Bos Spec ops suit with gray knit cap and gas mask with goggles. And i genuinely like it, but maybe you know some better combinations that might fit this build.
Thanks for reading (eventually lol)

My qualifications are below:
Did 10th in 2015
Joined Diploma in 2021 , B-Tech(24 Batch) : Computer Science & Engineering. You can see i have 3 years gap. after 10th. That's cus i failed 12th twice. Got selected in 3/4 companies but they didn't gave offer letter
Now i am looking for jobs since January and haven't got any interviews. Should i just go for MBA? thinking there i might get a good job? My main focus is to get back on my feet.
I don't go to family functions, attend calls from cousins. Fearing they will ask me about job status.
All of my friends of same age are very well placed. I am from Delhi/NCR. Life has been very poor, Girlfriend too dumped me when she got placed (later she didnt got job offer too). But please someone guide me: 1. Should i pursue MBA? I am General and don't think i can get 90+ % to attain a set in top IIMs

1. Should i just join any job (i am getting a recruiting agency job) for 25k per month.
   
2. Should i just keep looking for more jobs and keep upskilling??
   

The thing is i do not want to waste my time as i am old already. Neither i wanna stick myself into a job where there is no future growth. I can understand in childhood i have made very terrible mistakes.

Hi everyone!
I'm posting here as I'm at a bit of a loss, both mentally and financially! We had a new bathroom installed about 4 years ago - it's a small space but was completely gutted and refit. I had a full list of what was being done and felt satisfied with the work (although I know nothing about building/plumbing and at the time, my father who was a trades person all his life, did have some concerns). Over the past year or so we've been having issues with water leaking into the flat downstairs. We contacted the original company and were ignored, so got someone new into fix it, because obviously we couldn't leave it that way! They informed me that some fairly basic errors were made (drainage around the shower stand and some issues with the tiling)... But that these issues were fixed. Now, we're still having water leak through into downstairs. The second company have come back and we looked, saying they think it's to do with waterproofing in the walls and to ask the original company. Which I've tried again but to no avail. I just feel like I'm being sent on merry goose chases, paying out large amounts of money to fix things that aren't being fixed (We've had similar issues with roofing). I simply cannot afford to keep paying out for works but I know I can't not get it sorted, so I guess what I'm looking for is some general advice on how to find someone who is going to do a complete and thorough job, and if any kind of guarantees exist?
Thanks!

TF2 used to be my life
I originally created a steam account back in 2016 because my best friend wanted to play TF2 with me. I had barely touched FPS games, much less any PC game to begin with because I grew up a sheltered kid from a poor family. My mom subscribed to the whole "FPS causes violence" philosophy and would get mad at me for playing phatom forces on Roblox when I was 13-14 years old. Needless to say, I wasn't supposed to be able to play TF2 or much of anything violent for that matter, but nonetheless I continued.
My dad had a shitty old macbook pro that he had as a work laptop for years and years. The thing finally gave out and was decommissioned and he "disposed of it" and brought it home to use as a family computer. This thing could barely run flash games, but I downloaded tf2 anyway and struggeled through the 10 minute load times and the 20-30 fps on a good day to play. The allure of the game and the characters helped me push through the buggy laggy mess.
When I got to high school I got another shitty laptop, this time for school. This one could TF2 albiet not much better than the first and I spent hours of my life watching tf2 youtube videos and playing the game. I was so into it my sophomore year that I almost failed multiple classes in school because I engaged with the game so frequently. It was one of the few games I could play (I used to watch let's plays of games I couldn't run so I could still experience them) and I loved tf2 to death. I played sitting criss cross on the couch because I didn't own a desk, and used the cushion space next to me as a mousepad. None of my friends played it but it was my personal escape from the world.
Right as covid started I scored my very own gaming laptop. Lenovo had a discount on laptops for school, my parents were more well off than they had ever been, and I managed to sweet talk my dad into getting me something nice for my 18th birthday. The FIRST game I put on that thing was TF2 and I practically cried because after years I finally had something that could run it. By this point I was better at the FPS genre and the bump in computer specs made it even easier to excell. My mother wasn't ecstatic that I was playing FPS games but she let it slide because I was getting older. About that same time my friends got me into Apex Legends and because of years of trial and error with TF2 I was actually not too bad at the game. I even competed in some minor tournaments and won a hat from an Apex competition, proving my mom wrong and showing that what I enjoyed wasn't a complete waste of time, and I credit TF2 with both my teacher for FPS and my passion for the genre. Several years later I even saved the money from my first job to build my own PC.
I was there for Rick May's death, I was there for the begining of the botting of casual servers, and when I say it wrenched me to my core, I mean my teenage high school self cried as I deleted and redownloaded my favorite game mutliple times over several months. I never really did experience the hype of new updates as I only truely got into the game post jungle inferno. But I've been here for the slow rot and decay that has taken place over the past seven years as the game has faded from an old glory, to a rotten corpse.
The game in it's current state is barely playable, there are workarounds for it, but it's insulting to watch the thing that really started my passion for PC gaming and really gaming in genral get repeatedly kicked to the side. I realize that "Valve as a company works differently" is an excuse that gets thrown around a lot but I know I'm not alone in saying that this is not the end TF2 deserves. Its been SEVEN FUCKING YEARS since we got any kind of real attention from Valve and while it probably doesn't men shit I love this game and I don't want to watch negligence to consume the thing that has given me so much joy.
I love TF2 and I don't want to watch it die, not like this...

I suppose I’m trying to understand if anyone else ever went through something similar.
I was a continent away from my family for my studies. It had been two months since I’d left.
I spoke to my parents almost every other day. At 55, my father was the most fit person in the family. He ate healthy and exercised.
They say a person knows or at least gets a hunch before they’re gone for good. My father didn’t. He had numerous plans for that day and the next. I spoke to him the day before.
He was perfectly fine, until he wasn’t.
I got that call from one of my father’s friends. My mother didn’t have it in her to break it to me. It was a massive heart attack.
It’s not like everyone has a choice. Alone in my room some 4,000 miles away from home, I didn’t have an active choice to let grief take its due course - that would have to wait. What could not wait was looking for the earliest flight back home while I packed everything, knowing right then clear as day I wouldn’t be back, at least not in a while. I was the oldest child, so I had a younger sibling to take care of. And my mother deserved time to grieve while I handled the aftermath - death certificate, documentation, insurance, and so many other materialistic bullshit spewed at you as if you don’t have to process the loss of a whole human from your life.
Shit needed to be handled, so handle is what I did. I emailed my university that I wouldn’t be able to make it for a course final presentation. I notified my workplace that I won’t be able to make it for a meeting that day. I got to the airport and bought all the chocolates and cashews for my mom and my sibling because them having enough food in their system to survive the next few days was my biggest concern.
I made a to-do list during my flight, noting everything I need to take care of in my father’s absence.
I was so..aware.
I spoke to every immigration and security officer like a regular traveler. I thanked the air hostesses every single time they gave me something to eat. I even wished one of them saying, “Have a good day” before leaving the plane because she was kind enough to dim the lights around me and give me a paracetamol when my head was pounding.
I really went to the immigration officers, looked them dead in the eye, and asked them to make an exception so I could book another flight and get home faster without having to wait 8 hours in transit. They had no idea, but they relented in the end because I stood right in front of them waiting for an answer.
I was hyperaware since the minute I landed. I vividly remember holding my mom, not only because I wanted to shield her from her grief - but also from people - because it was the same day I realized most people have the EQ of a brick wall, especially when it comes to loss.
I hadn’t cried in front of people, not even when they took me to the morgue, all eyes on me.
People asked my mom about it. My mom asked me why I hadn’t cried.
It positively is not denial. But I don’t know. Sometimes, it’s still difficult to believe this is how things are. I never saw the light leave my father’s eyes - I never even got to feel his warmth for the last time. He was freezing cold in that horridly shallow freezer by the time I arrived.
And now, everything feels like a distant memory. Life feels a lot like before and after.

So i'm married with my husband (Kevin) since 4 years and our relationship since we get married is very boring. I'm the one always suggesting trips, go to events, go somewhere for a romantic week-end or only a romantic dinner at home. I mean for 4 years i tried to spice up our marriage with easy things like i said before and i never expected to go to expensive places, doing luxury trips or have jewels every single day. I'm a pretty easy type of woman and even a dinner with a frozen dish to me is very romantic and unique cause it's a spontaneous thing or even a flower caught by the street would make me happy and feeled like i'm important to Kevin. So as you see i'm not a very "demanding" woman. I still remember when, before marriage, Kevin brought me a few flowers from the garden and gave them to me and i was the happiest girl of this world cause this simple things are, to me, the things that tells you how much someone cares for you. Or the time when i burnt the dinner cause i was distracted and Kevin, when he got back home from work, reassured me and we bought some McDonald's and stayed there hours just cuddling and talking. But since we got married he acts like i don't exist and just comes home to eat, watch the TV and sleep. Nothing else.
I tried many times to have a talk with him about our relationship, what we (and i) could do better to improve it, if i was doing something wrong, couple's therapy but he always brushed it off saying "i'm nust tired leave me alone". Every single time the same answer so after 4 years of frustrations like this i just gave up.
But then a year ago i made a gym membership cause i wanted to be in shape and because i thought that maybe my body was the problem and in 1 year i got in the best shape of my life but my husband didn't even noticed it and always act like it's all normal. In this year i met a guy at the gym and we started talking and become friends.
Before going on i want to specify that we never did anything physical like sex, kiss or this things and we always only talked like friends. This guy (Martin) apparently could seem like a tough and strict guy but i can guarantee that despise his body size (he is 194 cm for 134 kg) he is the sweetest guy i ever met. He is extremly sweet, innocent and extremly funny. He always talks with everyone at the gym and everyone likes him for his funny character. Since we started talking randomly, before, and then more seriously after i noticed that we have many things in common and we basically have the same character. I still remember that 3 months ago i was of the worst mood ever and he arriving to the gym and seeing me angry took a flower from the plants around the gym and gave it to me making me happy and smiling.
I never felt a connection like this with no one before and not even with my bestfriend. Just to make you understand.
I have no idea of what this guy is doing to me but i feel extremely attracted to him emotionally and physically. I would never cheat on my husband so having sex with Martin isn't an option and i never talked with him about my marriage problems cause it's a very personal thing and i don't talk about this things with everyone so Martin knows only a superficial part of me.
So folks of Reddit is this "normal"? How do i unravel this situation? What should i do?
P.S. i'm working as a secretary while Kevin works for a tech company as a business manager so he is the breedwinner of the couple and i'm doing all the house chores because Kevin is "too tired". We never wanted kids so this isn't a problem and our intimacy is doing it 3 times in 6 months.
TL:DR; I(28F) feel attracted to a guy i met at the gym but i'm married with my husband(28M). What should i do? Advices please!!!

This week's book club list is as follows (enjoy reading and comment which your favourite is below):
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1. The Lost Art of Compassion: Discovering the Practice of Happiness in the Meeting of Buddhism and Psychology by Lorne Ladner: Dr Lorne Ladner rescues compassion from this marginalised view, showing how its practical application in our life can be a powerful force in achieving happiness. Combining the wisdom of Tibetan Buddhism and Western psychology, Ladner presents clear, effective practices for cultivating compassion in daily living.
2. Choosing Happiness: Keys to a Joyful Life by Alexandra Stodda: Happiness lies in the passions we pursue and in the pressures we decline. It is in knowing how to work and when to play. It is in the treasured objects we keep nearby and in the ordinary moments we elevate into small celebrations. It is in the note we write to a friend and the kindness we show a stranger. It is in the colors we love and the music that transports us. It may be as simple as sunlight on your face; as sudden as a shared smile; as sensuous as a single flower on your desk, candles on your nightstand, or cookies hot from the oven. Happiness is what you make it, where you make it. Happiness is our best choice.
3. Health, Wealth and Happiness: You Can Control Your Destiny by David Singh: David Singh's dramatic journey from the jungles of Guyana to the helm of one of Canada's largest financial planning companies provides the backdrop for this guide to lasting happiness. Advocating wise investments, careful planning, and healthy eating choices, this inspirational book uncovers the secrets to a happier and more successful life.
4. What All the World's A-Seeking: Or, The Vital Law of True Life, True Greatness Power and Happiness by Ralph Waldo Trine: Ralph Waldo Trine was an influential member of the New Thought movement. He was one of the first people to write about the Law of Attraction. Long before Rhonda Byrne discovered the secret that one's positive thoughts are powerful magnets that attract wealth, health, and happiness, Trine already knew it.
5. Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment by Martin Seligman: I have read about 80 pages and I am enjoying Seligmen's friendly, engaging writing style so far. Also, there are interesting facts about each person's 'range' of happiness being fixed on a spectrum.Great so far. Will attempt to update review when I have completed the book.
6. Happiness Hypothesis: Putting Ancient Wisdom to the Test of Modern Science by Jonathan Haidt: Jonathon Haidt is a terrifically productive thinker about psychology. This is book is a credo and a guide book to your own happiness via an accomplished romp through the psychological literature which Haidt uses to explore the truths of ancient religion. I'm surprised it's not a wild best seller, but I think I know why - it doesn't have an singular and catchy formula for your salvation which you can learn in your lunchtime and hear about ad nauseam on late night TV infomercials. Just well written, well thought out commentary on the formula for a happy and fulfilled life distilled from the psychological literature.
7. It's All in Your Head: Thinking Your Way to Happiness by Stephen M. Pollan, Mark Levine: If you've ever wanted to have a conversation with someone on a normal level about undoing negative thinking patterns, this book is about the closest you'll ever get in written form. The style is conversational, pragmatic, and realistic. Kind of like talking to a favorite uncle or aunt who is just "on the mark" about dealing with life. The book focuses on 8 behaviothought patterns that hinder us from being happy NOW, and provides simple, easy "exercises" to do to help overcome them. It is also one of those rare self-help books that the whole family can read, enjoy, and profit from. In my opinion, this book is better than any other I've read by Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Nathaniel Branden, and many others. If you've ever thought you can be happier, YOU CAN, and this book can help you get there.
8. Handbook on the Economics of Happiness by Luigino Bruni, Pier Luigi Porta: This Handbook provides an unprecedented forum for discussion of the economic issues relating to happiness. It reviews the more recent literature and offers the interested reader an insight into the vast scope of the field in terms of the theory, its applications and also experimental design. The Handbook also gives substantial indications as to the future direction of research in the field, with particular regard to policy applications and developing an economics of interpersonal relations which includes reciprocity and social interaction theory.
9. Freeing your child from negative thinking: powerful, practical strategies to build a lifetime of resilience, flexibility, and happiness by Tamar E. Chansky: This book is excellent for those who wish to embrace Food Combining i.e. what has become known as the Hay Diet. It is where one avoids mixing starch-based foods and protein-based foods in the same meal.
10. The 7 Steps of Spiritual Intelligence: The Practical Pursuit of Purpose, Success and Happiness Volume by Richard A. Bowell: Pioneering researcher and educator Richard Bowell delivers the first and only self-help guide to the power of spiritual intelligence (SQ)-the next evolutionary stage in our pursuit of purpose, success, and happiness. He introduces the latest breakthroughs in neuro-science. Life lessons from such exceptional individuals as Nelson Mandela to Ghandi and Mother Theresa take readers on a self-guided journey to personal development and growth.

So, which one are you picking up next or have read? Let us know with a comment and upvote and share this post and our sub bodychemistry to stay tuned for more reading lists every week!
Love, marmalada

Bit of an odd question here, but I got injured recently playing basketball, (M25) and was hoping to see if anyone had recommendations for sports-focused PT’s in Scottsdale. I am asking here because
A). I don’t have a primary care physician here. I just moved here this year from the Midwest and I honestly have not had to go see the doctor yet once. I probably should find one, but I am also dreading the headache it will be to make sure my insurance until 2025 accepts everything as mine is still currently based out of state and I can’t get it switched over to AZ until next year.
B). I have been told AZ is one of a few states where you don’t need the referral from a primary care doctor to get in right away. This is different from what I have lived with my entire life until now.
Does Mayo Clinic have outpatient PT? I’m just using them as an example because they are obviously a world class name brand in medicine and it’s 5 minutes from my place. If anyone else has reccomendationss for PT’s in the area that will help me get back to high level sports as efficiently as possible, I would appreciate any advice.

Navigating the bustling streets of Toronto can be a challenge, but an exceptional limo service can transform your journey into a seamless and luxurious experience. Whether you are a resident or a visitor, understanding how to choose the right limo service is crucial. Here, we provide seven essential tips that will ensure you receive top-notch limo service in Toronto.

1. Choose a Reputable Limo Service Provider

When selecting a limo service, reputation is paramount. Look for companies with positive customer reviews, testimonials, and a strong track record in the industry. A well-established company with years of experience is more likely to provide reliable and high-quality service. Check online review platforms such as Yelp, Google Reviews, and the Better Business Bureau to gauge customer satisfaction and service quality.

2. Ensure a Diverse Fleet of Vehicles

A top-tier limo service should offer a diverse fleet of vehicles to cater to different needs and preferences. Whether you require a classic stretch limousine, a luxurious SUV, or a sleek sedan, having a variety of options allows you to choose the perfect vehicle for your occasion. Ensure the vehicles are well-maintained, clean, and equipped with modern amenities.

3. Verify Professionalism and Training of Chauffeurs

The professionalism of the chauffeurs can significantly impact your experience. Ensure that the limo service employs trained, licensed, and courteous chauffeurs. Professional chauffeurs should have extensive knowledge of Toronto’s streets and traffic patterns, ensuring timely and efficient transportation. Additionally, they should be well-dressed, polite, and committed to providing a superior level of service.
Read also: Top Tips for Booking Premium Limo Service in Toronto

4. Confirm Proper Licensing and Insurance

It is crucial to ensure that the limo service provider is fully licensed and insured. Licensing ensures that the company adheres to industry standards and regulations. Insurance is essential for your safety and peace of mind, covering potential accidents or damages. Ask the company to provide proof of their licensing and insurance coverage before making a reservation.

5. Assess the Quality of Customer Service

High-quality customer service is a hallmark of exceptional limo services. From the initial inquiry to the final drop-off, the service provider should be responsive, attentive to your needs, and willing to accommodate special requests. Evaluate their communication skills, response time, and willingness to provide detailed information about their services and pricing.

6. Review Pricing and Packages

Transparent pricing is critical when choosing a limo service. Look for companies that offer clear and upfront pricing, avoiding hidden fees or unexpected charges. Some limo services provide package deals for special events such as weddings, proms, or corporate gatherings. Comparing different packages and pricing options can help you find the best value for your money.

7. Consider Additional Services and Amenities

To enhance your limo experience, consider the additional services and amenities offered by the provider. These may include complimentary beverages, Wi-Fi, entertainment systems, and customized decorations for special occasions. Such extras can add a touch of luxury and personalization to your journey, making it even more memorable.
Selecting the right limo service in Toronto involves careful consideration of several factors, including reputation, fleet diversity, chauffeur professionalism, licensing, customer service, pricing, and additional amenities. By following these seven tips, you can ensure a luxurious, safe, and memorable transportation experience.