How to tell ur gf goodnight by text

19M I myself think that i am dumb af with certain things. Like extreme stubborness. Inability to change currect action, even tho there are more important things to do.
Little childhood background. Told by everyone i was gifted, very smart child. Learned to write and read at the age of 4-5. Basicaly nonverbal, wouldnt want to talk with anybody, extreme stuttering, scared of everything -> very curios and wanted to know everything about my surroundings and the world. Always asking questions. Didnt have any friends bcs i was wierd. Spent around 8 hours a day building legos/solving puzzlez. Forgetting to eat/sleep. Extremly determined. But if i wasnt good at something first try, i was the maddest person on the planet -> would do anything of my power to actually solve my problem. This resulted in extreme agression towards anyone who would intervine with my current problemsolving session. When i was doing my first iq test. Some of these questions vere actually hard, and maybe for the first time in my life i became challenged, trying to do everything in my power to complete the test. Result? 130ish. My parents were shocked, and said i need to attend gramar school. So as 10/11 year old i started my first year in grammar school. Fast forward to current day i am really paranoid, everyone is againts me, i can tell how fake and fabricated conversations in my school are. Noone is genuene. But then, i myself am unable to have smalltalk, i learned that people need smalltalk to connect, but i just cant do that. Im having a hard time replying to my surroundings overthinking everx aspect of my intination, word selections everything, with people i care about(parents, gf, couple my friends) i feel like a robot, having my place, doing the same things every day, i dont even know what day is it, i wxperience extreme time blindness. I always need to do something in order to not let my mind wander around my dark future thoughts. I want to sleep but think of my broken bracelet from a month ago, i am like nah lets do it tomorow, but then i cant sleep thinking about it for 40 minutes with my eyes closed, rumbling in bed forcing myself to sleep, impossible. I get up and repair my bracelet, its 2:45 in the moring and my alarm goes of in less than 4 hours. I am like, how i was just watching a video from 3 blue 1 borwn like 30 minutes ago, turns out its been 4 hours :)) i reflect, what did i actually do. My mind then fabricates these fake memories of actually studying for physics test, texting my friend and watching a hockey match with my parent and went to sleep. Wrong i havent done any of that now in the morning i am stressing having intense halucinations my mind wanders of to extreme depths, seeing images of myself kicked out of the house, homeless, begging for food, then i see my present self bringing my homeless self a hotdog. WHICH IS SOMETHING I DID LIKE 2 YEARS AGO AND WANTED TO HELP A HOMELESS MAN OUT. Seeing this ultimate cycle of life gives me chills. I believe we are all conected somehow. But thats not the point. I dont even know where i was going with this anymore. My mind is racing at milion mph and sometimes i cant fabricate single thought or keep simple instructions in my mind like please bring a shampoo to the bottom bathroom my mum says. I get distracted by taking a dump, then forgetting completely, cuz in my mind i see myself handing my mum the shampoo and her thaking for my service. THIS IS EVEN WORSE IN MORNING, i see myself getting up, eating breakfast, texting my gf good morning text, UNTIL I REALISED IT WAS ALL JUST A WIERD DREAM AND I OVERSELPT 40 MINUTES. Dont even get me started on my dreams, these are to most complex storylines with multiple parts since dreamworld passes slowly compared to realworld time so sometime i csnt wait for second part of my dream which mostly happens next evening i go to sleep, i am now keeping track of multiple dream plotlines where in one me and my friends have our own comunity survival typa thing. My fav dreamseries :D. Honestly i cant unsee how depressing and dystopian current world-state is. Honestly i see myself dead in nomore than 10 years during ww3 where trump gets elected, refuses to help eu with russia invading The baltic states. I was believing i was going dummer and dummer. I resit my iq test, spend like 3 hours answering questions, 144. I started researching if inteligent people go crazy, found a lot of evidence, thats why i am asking, could this be my case?? I havent told these things my psychologist, dont wanna endup in psychward lol, currently we are discusing my adhd, along ocd i was diagnosed with as a child. I honestly want things to end, but i cant imagine getting my family friends and gf this sad. Im so lost and dont know what to do

So I’ve been talking to this girl off and on for 3 months at college. we hung out and few times then we’d make plans and she would cancel or have something come up so I would see her at parties mostly and we’d talk most the party or talk for a minute and then she’d go with her friends but when I talked to her I would ask her why she cancels or is she even trying to talk to me truly and she would say she does want to talk and she would just say I’m playing games or that I’m talking to other girls and she doesn’t like that. But I try to tell her that I’m actually not talking to any other girls. I have a couple friends that are girls but I’m not talking to anybody else so the last party she kinda understood that and we talk for like an hour straight at the party and she hugged me before she left and then since then she’s been hugging me and touching me a lot everytime we hang out or she’ll rest her head on me for a second but then I talked to her before I left school to know where we stood and I asked her for her feelings and she said she doesn’t know and you can tell she was getting flustered or she just didn’t know how to explain her then she said she wants somebody to fit her life so i asked do you know want to be able to fit in your life and she said yeah so I asked do you want me in your future and she said yeah so I was ok well that tells me what I need so I left it at that. So I go home we talk here and there every other day or so, I asked to call her last week and we FaceTimed for a few hours and then I was talking to her sister to while we were on the phone just chilling and then she took a picture of me and her sister was making fun of her and then the girl I’m talking to was like “it was cute ”then the girl was telling her sister that I try to get her to talk about her feelings with me and then her sister was like “good luck with that cause she never knows what she want” which I kinda knew already. but then she was saying she’s tired and she said call me tomorrow when you get home from my workout so I was ok so I texted her when I got home and asked if she was awake cause I sent her a snap and she usually opens it in the morning but she didn’t and then I didn’t hear from her for like 2 hours after and she was like “yeah im awake I just have a headache so I’m laying in bed” so I was oh ok well I can you later if you want to get rid of your headache and she responded 2 hours later saying give me a sec cause I need to go help somebody with something so I was alright just call me later if you want if not like it’s cool so then she had some family stuff going on and she texted me about it. I was confused by how she was saying it like I didn’t know if she was trying to say she can’t call or she just wanted to talk about it. So I was ok like “I get it. You’re good handle what’s going on and if you need to talk I’ll be here or if you need space I can give it to you. You just let me know what you need” she left me on read so I was alright ima just step back from the situation so I didn’t talk to her for a couple days and she goes “wyd” like two nights later and I was nothing really right now but wyd” Nothing back from her So I’m like alright. I text her the next day cause I had a question for her sister and I didn’t want to just call her cause she goes to sleep early sometimes so I texted her like “are you awake still?” Nothing again. The next day I call her just to check in and then she let it ring for awhile and then declined which is fine cause she might be busy but then she don’t call back or text back so I’m like I know you seen it and there’s just no communication and in the mean time she hasn’t really been snapping on Snapchat but like she’s done that since like the last week I was at college. But then also I posted something on my Snapchat last night and then she slid up and was like and she was playful making fun of it cause it was a funny thing so I went back and was playfully making fun of her and then nothing again.

So I’ve been talking to this girl off and on for 3 months at college. we hung out and few times then we’d make plans and she would cancel or have something come up so I would see her at parties mostly and we’d talk most the party or talk for a minute and then she’d go with her friends but when I talked to her I would ask her why she cancels or is she even trying to talk to me truly and she would say she does want to talk and she would just say I’m playing games or that I’m talking to other girls and she doesn’t like that. But I try to tell her that I’m actually not talking to any other girls. I have a couple friends that are girls but I’m not talking to anybody else so the last party she kinda understood that and we talk for like an hour straight at the party and she hugged me before she left and then since then she’s been hugging me and touching me a lot everytime we hang out or she’ll rest her head on me for a second but then I talked to her before I left school to know where we stood and I asked her for her feelings and she said she doesn’t know and you can tell she was getting flustered or she just didn’t know how to explain her then she said she wants somebody to fit her life so i asked do you know want to be able to fit in your life and she said yeah so I asked do you want me in your future and she said yeah so I was ok well that tells me what I need so I left it at that. So I go home we talk here and there every other day or so, I asked to call her last week and we FaceTimed for a few hours and then I was talking to her sister to while we were on the phone just chilling and then she took a picture of me and her sister was making fun of her and then the girl I’m talking to was like “it was cute ”then the girl was telling her sister that I try to get her to talk about her feelings with me and then her sister was like “good luck with that cause she never knows what she want” which I kinda knew already. but then she was saying she’s tired and she said call me tomorrow when you get home from my workout so I was ok so I texted her when I got home and asked if she was awake cause I sent her a snap and she usually opens it in the morning but she didn’t and then I didn’t hear from her for like 2 hours after and she was like “yeah im awake I just have a headache so I’m laying in bed” so I was oh ok well I can you later if you want to get rid of your headache and she responded 2 hours later saying give me a sec cause I need to go help somebody with something so I was alright just call me later if you want if not like it’s cool so then she had some family stuff going on and she texted me about it. I was confused by how she was saying it like I didn’t know if she was trying to say she can’t call or she just wanted to talk about it. So I was ok like “I get it. You’re good handle what’s going on and if you need to talk I’ll be here or if you need space I can give it to you. You just let me know what you need” she left me on read so I was alright ima just step back from the situation so I didn’t talk to her for a couple days and she goes “wyd” like two nights later and I was nothing really right now but wyd” Nothing back from her So I’m like alright. I text her the next day cause I had a question for her sister and I didn’t want to just call her cause she goes to sleep early sometimes so I texted her like “are you awake still?” Nothing again. The next day I call her just to check in and then she let it ring for awhile and then declined which is fine cause she might be busy but then she don’t call back or text back so I’m like I know you seen it and there’s just no communication and in the mean time she hasn’t really been snapping on Snapchat but like she’s done that since like the last week I was at college. But then also I posted something on my Snapchat last night and then she slid up and was like and she was playful making fun of it cause it was a funny thing so I went back and was playfully making fun of her and then nothing again.

I need help letting this go because things seemed like they were off to a great start with him and I have a hard time finding good dates in my city. Long story short - I (25F) was on a 3rd date with a guy (28M) and I was drunk and we kissed for the first time that night and I invited him up to my place because I wanted to kiss him more. I wasn't thinking about sex cuz I was dumb and drunk (I even had to throw up after we got to my place), so I had to stop us in the middle of doing stuff to say no to sex and I explained to him my boundaries (I wait till I'm in a relationship to have sex and I'd need him to get an STD test for oral sex).
After this, we talked about other normal stuff in between. We also tried making out here and there in between and at some point, he made what sounded like a passive aggressive comment about blue balls. This bothered me so I made a couple comments about his intentions with me that came off quite rude. I tried saving the situation before he left by asking him to sit down to talk (he was all like "What do you need from me?" but sat back down). I tried explaining myself and my boundaries (I told him I haven't had the best dating experiences in the past but didn't go in more detail). He said that this wasn't a productive conversation and left. I could tell how annoyed he was by his face when he headed out.
The next day, I sent him a lighthearted message that I was feeling better about things and still had fun before the night ended weirdly, and he sent a text back right after and shut things down with me. I still feel like we would have been talking if I hadn't invited him up to my place. I know I should have been better about communicating my boundaries more in advance (and I will from now on!) but I don't like that he made me feel so awful over this. I understand sexual frustration but it was our first time doing stuff and I still tried fixing things. All we would have needed was a simple convo about it to clear the air but I guess he didn't want to. Like was he really THAT upset that he couldn't get any from a drunk person??

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and most things work perfectly fine. My birthday was not so long ago and he made a really cute surprise so overall the relationship is fine, but there is a thing that bothers me a lot: his following habits. We just talked once about this topic when he followed his ex, I asked him and he told me of course he wouldn’t talk to her and that it was her who had a problem (she blocked him when she knew we got together); he also told me he will tell me if she ever tries to talk to her, this did not happen as it was like almost 8 months ago so she did not even text him ever. I got myself over this and believed that it was just whatever as maybe she already got over him (they were dating for a month lmao).
He placed a boundary about how even texting someone in a flirty way is cheating, which seems reasonable and fine. But he keeps following girls and I dont know if he stands by what he told me. I wont ever snoop through his phone or whatever as he seems pretty open with showing me things idk. I know the answers are gonna be that I need to trust him, I cant control him etc… but it is making me uneasy.
I suspect he just follows random girls to get follow backs because when they follow him, he tends to delete them from his following, so yeah. It is still weird and I dont want to sound controlling. I also understand social media is not real life and that I should focus on what its tangible (my relationship with him) but yeah its pretty difficult as i am a bit paranoid.
How can this situation be approached? I dont want to feel bothered and I understand going crazy over some social media is pretty lame and childish? Or maybe im just too blinded to see?
Thanks in advance!!
TLDR; boyfriend follows girls and it makes me wonder if he is doing something bad behind my back even if he established reasoned boundaries on cheating.

I (21NB) have been talking to this guy (26M) for about two and a half weeks. We met at a show in my hometown (he was the guitarist for the opening band) and pretty much immediately hit it off. He stood so close to me his hair was brushing up against the side of my head and he got so excited talking about guitars I couldn't help but immediately develop a crush on him (I'm a guitarist too). We talked for a bit, I went back and watched the headliner perform, and then when I ran into him later, he gave me the guitar pick he'd performed with that night and called me by name.
I pretty much immediately left afterwards, super nervous and giddy about the whole thing, and a few hours later ended up finding his band (and by extent, him) on social media. As soon as I followed him (literally less than a minute is not an exaggeration) he followed me back and sent me a text telling me to have a good night and that it was great talking to me. He even spelled my unusual name correctly, which means he looked at my page.
We've been chatting for a few weeks. He asks me about myself, seems really happy to talk to me, and sends me videos of his band sometimes. He's talked about what he does for work, the music he listens to, etc. I know him way better than I ever expected to. It takes him a while to respond (he's got a lot going on), but he texts me at least once a day and sends me lots of :) and :0 emojis. Lots of omggggggs and lolllllls. He also seems to be interested in my hobbies and what I'm up to, even asking me to send him pictures of my art and helping me with my guitar playing.
But... there's kind of a big problem. He's in a completely different state from me. At least a two hour flight. And, yeah... I'm lucky enough to have flight benefits so I could feasibly see him if I wanted to, but I've also never been in a relationship. He definitely seems more comfortable talking to me than before, even sometimes bringing up stuff that could easily lead to more personal, private topics, but I've been kind of nervous to get into that stuff I guess.
I'm about 95% certain based on context clues that he's single, and it really seemed like he was interested in me at the show, but I just don't know how much I should let myself get invested in this. I also have no frame of reference to determine if he's even interested in me or if he just wants to be my friend because I've never been IN a relationship before.
The more I talk to him, the more I like him. He's really cute, he works with kids and he's genuinely just one of the sweetest, silliest people I've ever known. I'm REALLY, really starting to fall for this guy, and I'm just not sure how well I'd be able to handle another rejection if/when it comes to that.
I had some really traumatic shit happen to me last year involving me being SAed by a coworker who I had developed feelings for, and who did everything in his power to ruin my life after getting me to trust him. This has led me to be super cautious and I have some trust issues that developed as a result.
I just don't know what to do. Everyone keeps telling me to just enjoy it, but I just want so badly to know how he feels and I just don't really know what to do. I'd love to see him again but I don't know how I would bring that up without seeming too forward. I don't know what kind of timeline to expect either-- like, at what point would it be okay to ask to video chat? At what point could I bring up visiting him? How would I even go about presenting the idea of being in a relationship with this guy? I'm so lost.

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and most things work perfectly fine. My birthday was not so long ago and he made a really cute surprise so overall the relationship is fine, but there is a thing that bothers me a lot: his following habits. We just talked once about this topic when he followed his ex, I asked him and he told me of course he wouldn’t talk to her and that it was her who had a problem (she blocked him when she knew we got together); he also told me he will tell me if she ever tries to talk to her, this did not happen as it was like almost 8 months ago so she did not even text him ever. I got myself over this and believed that it was just whatever as maybe she already got over him (they were dating for a month lmao).
He placed a boundary about how even texting someone in a flirty way is cheating, which seems reasonable and fine. But he keeps following girls and I dont know if he stands by what he told me. I wont ever snoop through his phone or whatever as he seems pretty open with showing me things idk. I know the answers are gonna be that I need to trust him, I cant control him etc… but it is making me uneasy.
I suspect he just follows random girls to get follow backs because when they follow him, he tends to delete them from his following, so yeah. It is still weird and I dont want to sound controlling. I also understand social media is not real life and that I should focus on what its tangible (my relationship with him) but yeah its pretty difficult as i am a bit paranoid.
How can this situation be approached? I dont want to feel bothered and I understand going crazy over some social media is pretty lame and childish? Or maybe im just too blinded to see?
Thanks in advance!!
TLDR; boyfriend follows girls and it makes me wonder if he is doing something bad behind my back even if he established reasoned boundaries on cheating.

I was very excited for GPT-4o, I wanted it to be great, but after a few days I'll be honest and share my personal experience - it makes so many incoherent mistakes that I have to go back to older GPT-4 versions
To the people who get upset and don't believe me, or think I'm a paid hate bot, I usually don't complain about GPT updates, actually I've defended them in the past
There's a theory that maybe OpenAI is A/B testing us, because I've spent some time reading other people's comments, and it looks like ~50/50 have a better or worse experience with GPT-4o for coding - and IMO there's no way that the other 50% of you guys have the same GPT-4o version that we have. It's simply impossible, that's how bad our version is
I'm a software engineer and GPT-4o unfortunately can't write a relatively simple Rust QUIC serveclient project without compilation errors (including some basic logging and config modules). I've pasted in plenty of documentation from the relevant GitHub QUIC project, into the chat, and it just keeps making incoherent code that fails and generates 5-10 compiler errors every single time. It deviates away from the documentation randomly. I've spent multiple hours trying and trying to make it write just a functioning project now, and after a long time I just have to give up. It can't fix its own compiler errors no matter how many times I feed the terminal output back to GPT-4o. I can just keep feeding it back error messages 100 times, and then it changes some code (seemingly randomly) and makes other errors or even more errors (or sometimes the exact same errors)
It also often ignores my instructions, for example I was showing GPT-4o 6 compilation errors from my terminal. Then in the same text bubble as the error lines, at the end of the message, I wrote:

I don't understand how we can get these errors when we follow the example files relatively close Q1) Does that mean that their code is wrong, or is something else going on? Q2) I'm developing on Mac right now by the way, but I don't think that should break anything here? Please answer these 2 questions comprehensively before you do anything else 

I'm very clearly telling it to answer these 2 questions, but it ignores the questions completely, and it just immediately starts talking about the error messages, and then it starts writing more incorrect "solutions" that just generate more errors. This is concerning compared to GPT-4, which always understands when you tell it to "do X before you do anything else"
Please share your own experiences in this poll and by leaving a comment if you want to
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I moved and had my entire system in storage. They were "kind" enough to defer payments until September of last year. When payments resumed I had all sorts of trouble.

1. I cannot access my account to view billing or pay anything. Since whatever new update, autopay has been turned off and now they are telling me my bill is past due. My bill that I cannot see because my account is locked out. The error states I am not the admin. I am the admin and in fact dug out the old hub, connected it to wifi and CONFIRMED I AM STILL the ONLY admin and yet I have no access to billing. I have called about this multiple times and after being bounced from department to department they basically tell me they can't tell their ass from their elbow but that it "should be resolved now." Magically, of course. And, of course, it's not.
2. I cannot opt out of text updates for carguard. So now, short of blocking the number, I am pinged literally every time any one of my two cars gets gently rocked by the wind.
3. My account had been getting double and triple charged at all odd months instead of coming out once a month when it was supposed to. They told me there was nothing they could do. Now with this "update" and my bill being "past due" I'm sure they'll have plenty of fees slapped on when I can finally get a hold of them again.

Does anyone have any advice? I do plan on just paying off the last of my loan for this POS system and cancel them. Until then, how can I fix this? Talking to their support is like talking to a rock. They never understand what the issue is. Please, for a lil free Karma, help a fellow scam victim out.

I am totally at a loss and could really use some advice here. For some background: I (32F) married my husband (33M) almost two years ago. He has split custody of his son (10M) with his ex-wife (29ish?F). We will call her mom. Note: this is quite long, but I can't figure out a good way to shorten it. Questions are welcome. I will try to answer as best as I can.
A couple of years ago, my stepson got in trouble for showing his private parts to another child. I didn't think to ask back then, but I am under the impression the child was the same age as he was at the time (8 or so). At this time, my stepson was spending the school year mostly with his mom as we lived on the other side of the state from them. From what I gather, mom flipped out. My husband and I chalked it up as the normal part of being a child when you get curious about bodies. My husband talked to him about how it was not appropriate to show a part of his body to another person without consent and we took it as our cue to start talking to him about puberty/bodily changes etc. I was not very involved at this time as we were not married yet so this information is pretty limited to me.
Last week, we got a call from mom absolutely beside herself. Her neighbors (two of their kids are involved 5F and 7M) came over banging on her door saying that my stepson was showing his privates to their 7yo and the 7yo was showing his privates to my stepson as well. They alluded to the fact that they could call the police. Mom was shocked and didn't really handle it well. They came back maybe 15 minutes later with more information--not only was there showing, but one of the boys had put their mouth on the other boy's penis. Mom had totally flipped out on my stepson (took away all of his electronics privileges, and literally broke his laptop in front of him) and so we came to talk to him and give her a break to calm down. Before we were able to talk to my stepson, mom recounted an incident that happened about a week ago with the same kids. "They were dry-humping each other and I went out there and just handled it. They stopped." It should be noted, she did not tell the other parents about this until they came knocking about the current incident.
My stepson reported that the showing of their privates stopped about a year ago because the 5F caught them in the act and threatened to tell their parents. She agreed not to tell as long as my stepson "did things for her and was nice to her." Apparently that day, he upset her and she told her parents that he and 7M were showing each other their penises. My stepson leaned in on the fact that they both participated (stating 7M actually started the behavior.) He also didn't talk about the dry humping incident until we asked directly about it and then he said 5F was the one who started that. When we asked where he learned about putting mouths on other people's privates he said people on his bus talk about doing it all the time and he wanted to try it. He reported both boys participated in this behavior as well. We asked him directly about if anyone has shown him their privates before-he denied any other instances. We talked about consent again-they are all too young to consent and since he was the older party he has more responsibility in this. We reiterated that this behavior is not okay and could actually get him in a lot of real trouble. We also brought up that he can explore his own body and this is the only acceptable way to explore at this age.
I am fully aware that my stepson is probably not giving us the whole truth. He is also clearly trying to point blame away from himself. I am also fully aware that it is very possible the other kids felt coerced into this behavior while it is also possible they started the behavior. We just don't know. We plan on getting him into therapy more regularly. My real question is how bad is this? I'm worried about those kids and I'm worried that this behavior is becoming a pattern for my stepson. What boundaries can we put in place to keep him from repeating this behavior? We have already discussed not allowing him to play with younger kids, but that doesn't feel like enough. Also his mom is never on board with our parenting strategies so consistency is that much harder.
Not sure if this is super important, but my husband went to talk to neighbor mom on that night after we talked to my stepson. The talk went well enough that they exchanged numbers because neighbor mom doesn't want to deal with my stepsons mom anymore. We got a text from neighbor mom the other day asking for help because my stepson was playing in front of their house-she had specifically requested he stay away from their house and her children. We tried to deal with this by calling my stepson. He ended up complaining to his mom who called to tell us off about trying to respect the other parent's wishes and essentially stepping in on her parenting. Long story short here is mom has no intention of trying to play nice with the other parents or understand/address their concerns and is making navigating this situation so much more difficult.
TLDR: My 10M stepson is showing an escalating pattern of inappropriate sexual behavior with other children. I am looking for advice on how to handle it.

I was very excited for GPT-4o, I wanted it to be great, but after a few days I'll be honest and share my personal experience - it makes so many incoherent mistakes that I have to go back to older GPT-4 versions
To the people who get upset and don't believe me, or think I'm a paid hate bot, I usually don't complain about GPT updates, actually I've defended them in the past
There's a theory that maybe OpenAI is A/B testing us, because I've spent some time reading other people's comments, and it looks like ~50/50 have a better or worse experience with GPT-4o for coding - and IMO there's no way that the other 50% of you guys have the same GPT-4o version that we have. It's simply impossible, that's how bad our version is
I'm a software engineer and GPT-4o unfortunately can't write a relatively simple Rust QUIC serveclient project without compilation errors (including some basic logging and config modules). I've pasted in plenty of documentation from the relevant GitHub QUIC project, into the chat, and it just keeps making incoherent code that fails and generates 5-10 compiler errors every single time. It deviates away from the documentation randomly. I've spent multiple hours trying and trying to make it write just a functioning project now, and after a long time I just have to give up. It can't fix its own compiler errors no matter how many times I feed the terminal output back to GPT-4o. I can just keep feeding it back error messages 100 times, and then it changes some code (seemingly randomly) and makes other errors or even more errors (or sometimes the exact same errors)
It also often ignores my instructions, for example I was showing GPT-4o 6 compilation errors from my terminal. Then in the same text bubble as the error lines, at the end of the message, I wrote:

I don't understand how we can get these errors when we follow the example files relatively close Q1) Does that mean that their code is wrong, or is something else going on? Q2) I'm developing on Mac right now by the way, but I don't think that should break anything here? Please answer these 2 questions comprehensively before you do anything else 

I'm very clearly telling it to answer these 2 questions, but it ignores the questions completely, and it just immediately starts talking about the error messages, and then it starts writing more incorrect "solutions" that just generate more errors. This is concerning compared to GPT-4, which always understands when you tell it to "do X before you do anything else"
Please share your own experiences in this poll and by leaving a comment if you want to
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Hello. Throwaway since I know she browses reddit.
I [M26] been living with my roommate and former GF [F24] for about 5 years. We met by chance and got together rather fast and after not even a month she basically moved into my place. The relationship was mostly a good one but it went downhill after she told me she wanted to fuck another dude. Communication was always a big problem which led to us breaking up. After the break up we decided to stay friends and keep living together because it was extremely cheap compared to having a place on our own and the friendship worked most oft the time. Fast forward a few months after the break up and she moved on already while I was still struggling with the breakup and with my feelings for her. She never gave me the time nor the room to let go or come to terms with the whole breakup and started seeing another dude. Which I didn't mind till she started lying for little stuff that is not worth lying for. Back then I already told her after she cut contact with the guy that she acts like I am only good enough to be her friend or more when there is no other guy in the picture.
Around February this year she told me about a dude she met through a friend of a colleague of hers and that was fine for me. Turns out she lied about it and he basically hit on her. This was the point where everything went downhill. She started lying about every single little thing and even after many and long talks completely ignored how I felt or my pleas to understand my point of view.
Fast forward to last week. She started fucking him and we talked about the whole situation again since she told me that she didnt want to give up our friendship but when I told her that I dont want to be the only one putting effort in she got defensive again because she doesnt want to cut back on anything she wants to do. The straw that broke the camels back was today. We made plans. The plan was that she was building her lego stuff while I was building a gundam and she. She called me friday if it were okay for me if she basicly ditched me to get with the guy. I told her she has to come up with ideas to make it up to me. Her idea was that tuesday and wednesday we would spend the days together,I get a pallette of energy and she would take me out to dinner. Today she walks up to me that she made a mistake with her shiftplan and that she has to work on the days. Ergo she got no time.
I am at the point where I am this close to just cutting ties with her completely since she never made an effort to show me that she is sorry or to make it up to me.
So am I the asshole for telling her that she has to make it up to me?

Hello all,
Thanks for reading. Some context: I moved to the city I’m in now about a year and a half ago to be w my partner. I’ve never had problems making friends even tho I’m more of an introvert and don’t like seeing people more than once a week, but because of school or work I always attracted extroverts and in general always have a nice social life. Because I now work from home it’s been a lot harder to make friends and this past year I was so focused on work, adjusting to a new city, and my new relationship that it wasn’t a priority till I became p miserable.
My fiancé introduced me to his ex nutritionist in the hopes that we’d make friends. at first I was super excited. We started texting a lot (which I associated w simply getting to know ea other), and saw ea other a few times. She’s a nice girl but I feel like we are not very compatible. We come from different cultures and given her job she’s extremely health driven, and won’t even have a single drink and judges people who do. That’s fine, I don’t care, but w this I mean that she is that kind of judgemental person. For instance I like to take certain supplements for sleep, drink w gfs or w my fiancé sometimes, maybe get a little tan in the summer, idk dumb normal stuff like that and she’s just judgemental ental towards it all in general. Her boyfriend is the same.
What kills me most is that I’m quite busy on my life projects in general and just don’t wanna be texting all day or be on my phone, especially during the week (I’d much rather do better things w my free time, ie read a book, chill tf out, go on a walk etc), but I guess she has wayyy more free time and is ALWAYS on her phone, to the point that she texts me daily whether thru messages or sharing stuff on social media which I mostly ignore at this point. The messages are harder to ignore though. And worst of all, it’s such superficial things. I love beauty and taking of my looks and do a few cosmetic things here and there, but I 100% don’t want to be talking about these things all the time. It’s also terrible for your mental health and I already have a history of dysmorphia and just don’t want to think/talk about my looks more than I naturally do.
All she talks about is stuff like this. Oh you look like X celebrity, oh if you lose a little body fat you could look like this (I go to the gym and she gives unsolicited trainenutrionist advice), oh what plastic surgery should I do to my face, does this color look on me etc etc.It’s all she talks about. She’s not the most attractive girl and is clearly insecure, but she’s constantly like oh I’m so hot. Sure girl that’s why you need to text about it. I’m at rhe point where just getting a notification from her annoys me to no end. Sometimes I’ll go days or even a week without replying only to return to 30+ substance-less messages from her. What does this add to my life? Literally nothing.
However she is a good girl in general, is very RP oriented which is so hard to find and I’ve been burned by friends in the past because I didn’t think like them. Unlike the girls I go out w now who might not even live here in some years, I feel like she’s more of a reliable friend to have. However I don’t see why she needs to text me sm especially when we barely even see ea other. We also went on a trip together where I met one of her friends who lives in another country and you could tell she’s clearly annoyed by this girl for the same reasons.
On one side she seems like a good, like-minded friend to have (regarding relationships etc) on paper but in real life just seeing daily messages from her drives me insane, to the point that I just fantasize w blocking her. She does give good relationship advice and is a good ear to vent to when I very rarely wanna tell her something, as usually it’s just her coming to me at this point. Btw she has no other friends at this point (except that other girl in another country) and told me how she had one other friend who blocked her out of the blue, and I’m starting to understand why as mean as that is.
Is this worth keeping only bc shes “RP” even tho she drains my energy and I don’t even feel like we have that much in common in terms of fun/conversations to have? Bc part of me thinks life is too short to put up with this.
Thanks!

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and most things work perfectly fine. My birthday was not so long ago and he made a really cute surprise so overall the relationship is fine, but there is a thing that bothers me a lot: his following habits. We just talked once about this topic when he followed his ex, I asked him and he told me of course he wouldn’t talk to her and that it was her who had a problem (she blocked him when she knew we got together); he also told me he will tell me if she ever tries to talk to her, this did not happen as it was like almost 8 months ago so she did not even text him ever. I got myself over this and believed that it was just whatever as maybe she already got over him (they were dating for a month lmao).
He placed a boundary about how even texting someone in a flirty way is cheating, which seems reasonable and fine. But he keeps following girls and I dont know if he stands by what he told me. I wont ever snoop through his phone or whatever as he seems pretty open with showing me things idk. I know the answers are gonna be that I need to trust him, I cant control him etc… but it is making me uneasy.
I suspect he just follows random girls to get follow backs because when they follow him, he tends to delete them from his following, so yeah. It is still weird and I dont want to sound controlling. I also understand social media is not real life and that I should focus on what its tangible (my relationship with him) but yeah its pretty difficult as i am a bit paranoid.
How can this situation be approached? I dont want to feel bothered and I understand going crazy over some social media is pretty lame and childish? Or maybe im just too blinded to see?
Thanks in advance!!
TLDR; boyfriend follows girls and it makes me wonder if he is doing something bad behind my back even if he established reasoned boundaries on cheating.

I am autistic, and I have had a lot of changes over the past few months. Loss of car, loss of jobs, possible eviction, and my senior dog getting older each passing second. My boyfriend (24M) and I (19F) have been together for almost 8 months now, he just left from is little over a month visit yesterday. He has been extremely kind, helpful, understanding, supportive of my situation and my autism. He is a great man.
I have issues with trauma as well, and anger or conflict from others is something I am learning to cope with. I have been in an abusive relationship before, and have been through therapy. Yet, recently I have gotten off of my meds, (Wellbutrin), from forgetting to take them, but I am currently getting back on them. I have just been on the ring birth control, which I know affects my emotions. I feel like I am going insane. Pain hurts as if I am getting stabbed in the chest and lungs crushed. It’s difficult to convey this. Especially in a relationship.
Before he left, he recommended to spend time with family to distract my mind. My parents agreed and I stayed the night with my family and hung out with my younger siblings. I called him during the night to watch a movie, which we had to pause halfway because I was tired.
Because I don’t have a car, my rhythm and routine is off. Usually I text him I leave but while loading my bags back into the car, I didn’t. I arrived home, and told him I was home through text. Keep in mind we were on call the whole time with my mic on but sometimes he takes his headphones out.
I am transitioning to being in my house and he starts to get a little angry that I only talked about cars when I was away, it was a main topic as it consumes my brain and I am anxious about making such a big decision. But I made sure to talk about other topics like the video games we will play when I get back. I also understand that he is going back to an environment that isn’t as good back home, and that he is also hurting because of our long distance.
With heightened voices, I get scared, felt like he came straight for me with his tone alone. Though I know he is trying to convey his pain and it’s not an attack on me. We start arguing about how I am not focused on wanting to spend time with him and that he was waiting for me to get home to have time with me. We both agree we want to do something together and that I will stop looking at cars for tonight. I tell him that, “I need to eat and shower, and I can’t feel what my body needs more so I need help choosing or at least for him to soften his voice so I can calm down.” He tells me to eat but now I realizing I only have 3 dino nuggs which is not enough for a meal which means Im out of my top safe food. It makes things infinitely harder to choose an executive function when I am being told to just choose something in his louder voice.
I feel completely misunderstood, he didn’t do this before, online or in person. My autism affects my decision making and starting tasks so much. So I tell him again while crying, I will need him to soften his voice or I will be very unable to choose. I start panicking, getting into a feeling of meltdown, he says he will do it only after I do something so he can compliment me for moving forward. It’s towards doing something together online for the first time in a month and a half. I decide to set a boundary while struggling to not meltdown onto the floor, knowing he doesn’t want me calling just to hear me cry. So I tell him, “If you do not calm your voice, I will have to hang up to calm down because I cannot do so with a raised voice, but it will take a very long time to calm down.” He gets annoyed by me very easy, and I have lost friends who tell me I am so annoying. It’s scary when he says I am annoying. Especially since I think it’s because of my autism. He chooses to hang up the call for me. I call him back because I am panicking. and then he says, “I can speak softer but I am choosing not to until you do something.” This is so unlike him. So I hang up and then try to call him back. Boundaries are hard.
He isn’t calling be back until I have taken care of myself. When all I needed was his calm voice to calm down and then I could pick out of the little food I have or take a sensory nightmare shower. I told him all i need is his calmed voice. I try to call again. He says “not happening.” I say “that’s stupid” cause to not calm his voice, especially when it will help me pick a task to do things together doesn’t make sense. He said “You're right. Needing a voice to calm down and do stuff is stupid.” I turn off my phone, and cry heavily.
I don’t know what to do, it’s hard to tell if I am in the wrong. Does he need to be more understanding of my autism? Do I need to just get tasks done like an “adult”? I don’t think my struggle is invalid. Do you guys struggle with something similar in emotions and life and being seen as an adult?

Context: I have this roommate (20M) named J. He’s in love w me and I’m not. I’ve told him over and over I’m not interested and we can sleep together and not date but he’ll just cry and basically force me into this weird limbo relationship thing we have. He basically freaks the fuck out if I hang out w other men, sleep w other people or leave the apt/go out without him. He tries to convince me to never leave the apt without him bc he’s worried. He guilts me into staying or being late bc he can’t sleep or eat alone.
Issue: We have roaches. Fucking disgusting. It’s mostly due to the neighbors but we still have them. The apartment complex has fumigated 4 times now and they keep coming back bc J and our other roommate C (24M) just don’t clean up or keep the standards the fumigators tell us to keep which are no food out and mop daily for 2 weeks btw.
J and C really don’t seem to mind the bugs as they’ll see some, shrug and walk away. Not even spray them. Ive made a cleaning schedule that they don’t follow no matter how many times I ask. They don’t take the trash out till I ask aka when it’s literally overflowing with bags of trash on the side of the actual trash can. J will take the trash out when I’m in the kitchen w him to show “how much he helps out around the house”They don’t wipe the counters off after they make food. Just leave the crumbs and the counter sticky etc. basically roach heaven up in here.
I’ve been caulking the gaps everywhere around the apt, baseboards, under counters, drawers, cabinets etc. to stop the roaches from coming in. I’ve also been organizing, decluttering, deep cleaning behind/under, creating itineraries and caulking every gap I see for everywhere. I do the itineraries bc we all have really bad object permanence and rebuy a lot of stuff. I’ve been doing this for every single place in the apartment. Im a full time student w a part time job working in an elementary school. A lot of my free time is either hw or creating lesson plans and activities for my students.
I’ve been asking for help but I get none then they get mad at me for not telling them explicitly what to do. I don’t think I should have to baby step these grown men into caring about living in roaches but okay. I asked J to clean out, organize, make an itinerary and caulk the main cabinet bc I had midterms to study for and I couldn’t go to the schools library bc there was a shooter threat and I was scared lmao so I biked to the city library. Also, he’s like 6’2 and can reach the top and back and I can’t. First thing he asked was, “you can’t reach it w the stool?” Lmao. The entire time I was explaining he kept brushing me off and saying “I got it, I got it”. Making me feel like I’m over explaining and being annoying so I left to the library to do midterms.
I came back and he just reorganized everything, made a general map of where stuff it (this square is snacks, this square is Tupperware etc) and only caulked the bottom shelf that’s on the ground. He didn’t wipe down the shelves that are covered in roaches and roach shit. He didn’t caulk the shelves or the outline of the cabinet. He didn’t make an itinerary. He showed me the cabinet all proud and I voiced my concerns about how he literally did it completely wrong and how he’s gonna have to do it again. I told him, “I told you exactly what to do and told you to call with questions. Why didn’t you call me?” His excuses were: “the bugs can’t get into the cabinet through the shelves if they bottom is caulked off” “I couldn’t find the paper for the itinerary” “I didn’t know you wanted me to wipe the shelves out” “I didn’t wanna bug you” “I forgot what you said”
He literally wrote down this little map on a notebook. He said, “I use this for school, I can’t use this one” but he literally just did?
He basically shut down and ignored me so I had to ask, “did me criticizing the cabinet hurt your feelings?” he said yes and I had to hold him and explain that when criticize it isn’t an attack on your character, I just need it done. I can’t do it all. I explained my frustrations bc I told him explicitly what to do and asked why he didn’t do it and he said he forgot. I said, “why didn’t you write it down” he said, “bc I thought I got it” when him forgetting is a consistent problem. I asked why he didn’t call me and he said, “I didn’t wanna bother you, I got it”. I said, “you obviously didn’t have it. Why didn’t you just do it, why do I have to ask you? If there’s dead roaches and roach droppings where we put our food, why do I have to baby step you through wiping that out?” He just said he didn’t know he was supposed to do it.
We have this exact same conversation about 3 times a month?
1) please take initiative with literally anything, having to ask is exhausting. If something needs to get done, just do it. I shouldn’t have to ask for simple household things like fix the rug if the dogs scratch it up
(Quick story about the rug: I tried to “test” if J or C would fix the doorway rug bc it was messed up, kinda in a ball bc the dogs scratched it and moved it. You couldn’t open the door properly bc of the rug. A simple household “no one’s fault” task that affects us all. They didn’t fix it for a month. I counted the days. I was very frustrated and asked why they literally don’t do anything at all unless I baby step them. I asked, “why don’t you guys just do something that you see needs to get done?”. J blew up at me saying, “why do you expect us to do everything? Why didn’t you fix the rug, they’re your dogs. You live here too so don’t get mad at us for not fixing a simple thing when you didn’t do it either”. I fixed the rug and continue to fix the rug now.)
2) when you face a barrier please try to find another way to solve the problem instead of giving up such as, asking me, googling it etc
Anyways, this was about a week ago and he still hasn’t redone the cabinet even tho I’ve asked everyday. I’m so tired. J and I been living together for like 2 years and no matter how much I cry, ask, put sticky notes, text, call etc etc, nothing changes. It’s like having children. I’m so tired, like legitimately. I wanna give up. I’m tired of the same conversations over and over. I rather just do it by myself but idk if I should give up.
Should I try to hold him accountable for the upkeep of OUR apartment or should I just shut up and do it myself?

Title as reads. I (26F) have been depressed for the last 4 years and cut off all my friends from college with no explanation. I didn’t do it to hurt anybody, but i basically had a psychotic break after a brain injury and latched onto my boyfriend and immediate family for support. I wasn’t thinking straight and some days my mind still isn’t a safe place to be, but I’ve gotten much better.
I’m sorry for what I did and how selfish it was. I owe so many former friends an apology I just haven’t figured out how or if it’s worth giving at this point . My reality seems distorted because it’s hard to differentiate between what was really done, what really happened, and what I told myself while in psychosis. Sometimes I text them happy birthday if I remember (they don’t respond). my brain tells me that they’re so much better off not having heard from me and never need to, because I’m just a different person from who they knew.
I fear that rekindling is too late. I would like advice on moving forward when you’re the bad guy. I don’t want to be consumed by the shame cycle any further, nor do I want the past to affect my future anymore.

Hi M20 here
Me and my Mother have always had a very unstable relationship throughout my childhood and teenage years.
When I was very young me and my mother had a good relationship until I turned around 8 years old and then something changed, I am not sure what but she become this increasingly volatile individual.
As a kid, my mother would never let me leave her side, and this sounds like goof parenting but my mother took this to the extreme, she never let me have a sleepover and never let me go to a friends for tea. In the same way she never let me invite anyone around as she didn't want to let people into our house.
This continued throughout my teenage years also, I never had friends around was never allowed to go and meet up with friends and so I become a recluse during my secondary school years. My mother would control who I was friends with and so when I finally made some friends she forced me to drop them when she suspected that some of them were gay and that they might be influencing me (which is absolutely bizarre as I am not sure why she was bothered about 13/14 year old's sexualities ). I didn't drop them as they were amazing friends and she eventually found out about this at parents evening as one of my teachers mentioned one of the students names and she was ranting and raving about how they were a bad influence on me and I disrespected her.
Then I had struggles with my sexuality around this age regardless of my friendship with these people and then she made disgusting accusations against me which permanently effected my relationship with her, when I told my dad, he was absolutely disgusted and shouted at her and then she cried and said she was a terrible mother, I don't want to go to into depth on this part of the matter due to the fact that It is very upsetting for me to talk about. However wanted it to be mentioned as I felt that it was relevant to my mothers actions
She kind of chilled out for a few years and then she ramped it back up again when I went into sixth form, mainly as when I was in sixth form I was allowed to leave the school site during free periods and lunch and break time, I called her one time and told her that I was on my way down to meet my friend in a town by my school (like a five minute walk give or take) and she lost her shit down the phone saying that I was disrespectful and 'naughty' for not telling her that I was walking down to the park with my friend and that I could be kidnapped and killed and she would never know where I was if the school went on fire.
I then one evening went down to the beach with my friends at the end of the summer term and she then forced me to put my location on my phone so she knows where I was - she knew where I was as she dropped me there ? and she then forced me to keep it on but then she started getting far to controlling with it, for example when I was sat in a classroom examination she started repeatedly activating the lost mode on the phone and playing sounds on it as my location was not updating, and she was texting me saying put your location on now where are you? IN A LESSON ? ? ?
This then chilled out until I was applying for Universities and she wanted me to apply for the universities within a 30 minute drive to where we live, however due to me feeling so depressed at this time and wanting to leave home I applied for a University 1hr 20 min away and she blew her lid at me and said why would I do this when I can stay at home with her and that she didn't want me to move away and that she did not want to let me move away as I never asked her if this was something that I would be allowed to do, bear in mind I was 18 years old at this point and she was still treating me as if I was 8 years old.
She then forced me to transfer to one of the universities closer home due to manipulating me over the summer, I was diagnosed with a long term health condition and due to pain I gained some weight and a few years earlier I had started vaping (bad I know however I was trying to fit in, weak mindset core I just wanted some friends) she was also being very strict with what I was allowed to eat during this time and not allowing me to leave the house in an attempt to not let me vape - I was 19 at this point and yet again I can make my own decisions. This carried on for a while and due to her constant comments about my weight (she made comments like 'you are developing a shelf and a pouch) and the fact that I was s*xually assaulted at University I developed Bulimia as I felt inadequate due to her constant comments as as I was already mentally so low I coped in an unhealthy way and still to this day have an extremely unhealthy relationship with food (bingeing, purging ect ect) and this took a toll on my mental health as I found myself becoming dysregulated emotionally quite frequently and so I was trying to go on medication but she tried to convince me to not take them
My mother now is equally just as nasty, she comments about my weight frequently (I am not overweight for one and two I have told her I have a eating disorder but she said to my face that she doesn't believe me or in them). I got given money for support with my condition and have student finance for money and she keeps forcing me to pay off her overdraft amounts I have given her around 6k this year as she is not financially stable, she has paid me part back so that not an issue but I feel like its so inappropriate to be asking your child for so much money and being nasty and abusive as a means to get it (throwing me out screaming in my face ect ect )
Can anyone give advice on what to do because I am at the end of my tether with this woman, I say woman as I no longer see her as a parent but purely someone who lives in my house who likes to have an extreme amount of control over me
Thanks

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Quick disclaimer: I am aware that there is an internaltional standard for labeling the diferent recognized speech sounds (phonemes), but I wanted ASCII or extended ASCII for programming simplification, so I use a different nomeclature. Besides, it's easier for me to recognize and read. -Please forgive me
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So I have often wondered about the real rules that govern speech that people use. For instance using something similar to a "glottal stop" to end words like "don't" and "that". The "t" is not pronounced. Or how "r" is almost always used as a vowel (in american english). My favorite examples are "fur", "fir", and "-fer". All three are pronounced identically and the typical "i,u,e" vowels are not pronounced at all. Its just pronounced "fr".
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One day I was looking at a spectrograph of my voice, and I noticed some patterns. Vowels like "ah" in "stop" and "Bob" look very different from other vowels like "ee" in "green" and "bee". When we speak, there is the most prominant lowest frequency called the "fundamental", and there are many other frequencies that are multiples of that frequency called "harmonics". The sound "ah" has high volume on many of the harmonics, but the sound "ee" has a big gap where the harmonics are much much smaller. Every different vowel had its own combination of different harmonic values.
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So I tried to create a set of rules by hand to classify different frequency patterns as different vowels. I could easily tell them apart by looking at them, but would the rules hold up to the test? So I made a computer program to guess different vowels, but it was not good. There are so many knobs to turn to create the different rules. And if there is variability, then I would also have to go through and determine all of the different ranges which would make the rules much more complex.
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I started to do it by hand and tweak values, see how it worked, and then tweak the values again, etc, etc.
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Thats when it hit me! I'm doing what a neural network trainer does. I could use one to do this for me!
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So I researched the nitty gritty of getting one setup, recorded a lot of data (~45 minutes worth) and trained the model. It took a few days to figure out some problems, but I eventually got it working.
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I used python and the tensoflow+keras library suite to create and train the neural network, Pyaudio for recording training data and realtime audio, numpy for data analysis. The neural network had 264 input nodes, 100 intermediate nodes, and 13 output nodes (one node for "no vowel", and 12 for the different vowels). The frequency calculation finishes within 1milisecond, and the neural network finishes within 2 milisecond as well on my hardware (intel i3-1115G4 at 4GHz). It spends more of its time on listening for audio than it does computing the answer. I found best results by running the loop 20 times per second (50ms) but I have also gotten it to run at 50 times per second (20ms), but it struggles on one or two vowels.
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Here is a list of the different vowels that it recognizes
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ӑ aa cat, 1
ŏ ah stop, 2
ē = ee green, 3
ō = oh gross, 4
oo = oo mood blue goose, 5
ĭ = ih sit,6
ā = ay stay, 7
ĕ = eh pet, 8
ŭ = uh bump, 9
o͝o = ou would could should took, 10
r̃ = (i chose this symbol) ur fur fir fer rural, 11
L' = LL travel left rural, 12

Hello tall dudes and dudettes. I am a 29 year old girl from Panama for context. My height is 5 ft 9 (5 ft 10 or more if I use heels). I just got ghosted by a 6 ft 5 guy who was playing games with me and he is not even that handsome facially wise at least. He did tell me when he was on Tinder he had more than 1 woman get excited bcus of how tall he was so apparently he didn't have issues getting women to be attracted to him. We went on 2 dates together and even though his face is not very attractive (he has a big nose and he is kinda chubby) he still had the audacity to stop replying to my texts so I am wondering if this is a tall guy thing no matter how ugly they are?
The problem is I need my bf/husband to be taller than me because I am already tall in general and it just feels so nice to be hugged and loved by a man who towers over you. I dated a guy the same height as me for like 3 months and I couldn't even bring myself to be sexually attracted to him so we never had sex even though I met his family and friends. With my tall ex boyfriends I did go all the way though 🙈
So my question to the tall guys in this sub is: Do you guys find it easy to get women? Even if you are not that physically attractive? Please be honest.
Thanks guys

Just a warning, this is going to be very long! I (21F) and my brother (15M) were abandoned by our mother when I was 11 or 12.
For context, she was a teen mother, with a lot of mental health issues (bipolar, BPD, depression, i can only assume some form of sociopathic behavior), and she addicted to hard drugs. My father was a little rough around the edges, but overall a hardworking guy who went into the relationship with a "I can fix her" mentality. For the first few years of my life, I was oblivious to all of the issues going on in my family, I just enjoyed the first 5 years of my life as a happy child. My mother hid her drug addiction well enough for a 5 year old not to ask any questions, and I thought weekly screaming matches were normal and "mommies and daddies fight sometimes". Unbeknownst to me, my mother was cheating with dozens of people, and emotionally/financially/physically abusing my father, he put on a happy face to try and give me a good childhood. He worked 5am- 5pm at a bagel store (no car, only a bike) and never came home empty handed; always a toy, or a piece of candy for me as "sorry" for always being gone and working all day. I thought my mother would always bring her "friends" (men and women) in the house while dad was at work, and they would spend hours "playing" in her room with the door locked. I pretty much had to raise and take care of myself from the time I woke up to around 6pm, so I ended up becoming pretty smart by entertaining myself with my mom's fantasy novels (Harry potter, princess of mars, lord of the rings, etc.) On days she had college classes, our landlords (amazing people) would babysit me. My mother did give me affection, and I loved her very much, but she was very hands-off.
Granted, I wasn't the easiest child to deal with, I had ADHD, undiagnosed autism, among some other things.
When she got pregnant with my brother, (also adhd+autism) I noticed things started to change. My parents would fight more often, the house smelled like smoke, and the electricity to the apartment would be out for weeks because we couldn't pay the bills. Shortly after my brother was born, my parents had the hugest fight I've ever seen, I don't even remember what it was about (probably cheating), but it was the first time it hit me that everything in my life wasn't as happy as I thoughts. I sat clutching my baby brother as she beat my dad with a chair and started screaming. He grabbed a knife and ran outside and tried to end his life by stabbing his wrist. I was screaming and crying my landlords name, hoping my baby sitter would come and save me, he bolted downstairs, pried the door open, and grabbed the two of us and took us into his top floor of the apartment. He gave me some chocolate milk while him and his wife called the police. That was the day my parents split up, and my mom was able to spin the whole thing on my dad, taking custody and he was granted only visitation rights. My mother was kicked out of the apartment, and my aunt (dads sister, but my mother had taken a liking to her and allowed us to see her often) had a feeling something fishy was going on when no one would tell her anything about the details of that night. She went to my old house and asked my landlords what happened, they told her, so she let us sleep over with her whenever we wanted as a safe haven from our mom. She didn't go to court with any of the information she got, out of fear that my mother wouldn't let her see us again, because she was now our only place of complete safety.
My life became a living hell from that point onward. A week a later, my mom told us that her "new boyfriend"(probably a guy she cheated on dad with but I was like 7 and didn't know better) was letting us move in with him. He was the most horrible piece of shit. He got my mother addicted to even more drugs, and they both constantly talked badly about my dad, and when I cried, covered my ears, and said I didn't want to hear it, he would hit me and tell me that I needed to know. He was basically unemployed, and would sometimes sell drugs, or take antiques out of abandoned houses to sell. I hated him. My mother made an entire personality shift, and would defend him even if he said horrible things to me or hit me. She saw no fault in him. She stopped reading me bedtime stories, and stopped telling me she loved me. The only time she was nice to me was when we were in front of other people like school functions... she would kiss up to all my teachers.
I was left to take care of my baby brother on my own, and my father was in and out of mental hospitals from the trauma, so everything he said about how horrible my mother was fell of deaf ears because he was labeled "crazy".
We had no money, it was all spent on drugs, I went out by myself several times to dig through dumpsters just to get food, and I stole baby formula from supermarkets. This one nice homeless lady knew my situation, and would walk me into the stores "as my grandma" so I wouldnt get stopped to ask why a child was all alone. She would poke around the store and buy a $1 candy bar, while I stole formula, and some cold cuts for her. She showed me all the best dumpsters, where delis would throw put perfectly good food at the end of the day. We had an alliance of sorts. I was less than 9 years old.
Her boyfriend became sexually abusive to me around that time. I'll spare the details.
My mother was starting to go off the rails completely. Doing anything for drug money. I clearly remember the time that she told me to get naked and she took pictures of me, up close in all my private areas "to send to the doctor" or else "I would have to go in person and they might give me a shot" (she knew I hated needles.). She never mentioned that event again, but I just know she sent them to some pedophile for money. It makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it. Her bf would try and hurt my brother, I would always step in and get beat instead. We saw our father and aunt maybe once a month, and I was threatened not to say anything to the school or my dad/aunt or else he would kill my mom. I said nothing. I told my aunt all the bruises were from bullies at school, my teachers were taking care of it... or that I was climbing trees, some excuse. I think she knew the truth, but was too scared of losing us to say anything. Everytime they went to drop us back off at our mom's, my brother would have a tantrum. He cried so much the blood vessels in his face would pop. He now at 15 has permanant, freckle like, spots of red on his face from crying so much so often.
She got pregnant again with his twin girls. She gave birth prematurely, and they came out very very sick. She gave birth at home... I was giving most of their care. After the "ohhhh new baby" feeling wore off for her, of course I was basically a mother of 3 at 10 years old. They didn't last long, less than a year. I was in complete despair and that was the first time i tried to end my life. I filled the bathtub and tried to drown myself by repeatedly hitting my head underwater in attempts to pass out under the water. It didn't work, and I was left with neck pain and a migraine that lasted 4 days. I attempted about 5 times, different methods, by this point I haven't been to school in a week. When I came back to school, the teachers noticed something was wrong. I kept looking off into space, detached. I would lash out and act aggressively when anyone would try and talk to me. I would have 2 hour "bathroom breaks" where I just stared at the wall inside the stall and acted rudely when anyone came to get me. What did they do? Not call CPS, of course, they sent me to a special school because of my "sudden behavior issues". I was in a class now with students I could not connect with in any way. I had no friends. All the other kids in my new class had severe learning disabilities and talking to my brother who was 6 years younger than me was more of a conversation. They couldn't read, most of them were almost non-verbal.
My mom broke up with her bf because he cheated, and we were going to lose the house. He still lived with us for a few days but stayed silent. My mother blamed me, saying that I ruined everything by being a bad child and now we were going to be homless. He tried to touch me one last time and I snapped and stabbed him deeply with a BBQ screwer, he just walked away. later that night he killed himself, I saw it. I'll never get that image out of my head.
I lost it, I had an outburst at school, crying and screaming that I wanted to kill myself and for God to just let me die. They sent me to a hospital, and the school called my mom to say I was having an outburst of psychosis. I spilled everything to the hospital about what her bf was doing to me (I couldnt bring myself to talk about my mothers abuses for some reason), and after a while, it was my dad who came to get me... apparently my mother had taken off, leaving my brother alone in the house after the school had called her. I had so many questions. But I was so happy to finally be able to live with my dad and his side of the family.
I was so traumatized, as well as neurodivergent, I acted strangely and dealt with some bullies at school but that was it, it was like heaven on earth. My father didn't even know the full scope of what went on, but the more I told him the more guilty he felt. He started spoiling us a bit out of guilt, so we were happy to be with a parent who loved us.
We never knew where she went. Until I was 18, and she reached out to me on social media. Initially I didn't want to answer. I left my DM sitting there for a few days but... I felt this unexplainable pull. I hated her all these years, but for some reason when the option to take her back into my life came up... something in me missed her. I kept thinking back to the few happy times, and the curiosity was killing me. I finally messaged back, my father told me not to, but he said he couldn't stop me, I at least deserved some answers, and to get all my pent up hatred out at her for some closure. We awkwardly chatted for a few minutes, she told me that her father in West Virginia picked her up, she started a new life, joined narcotics anonymous, but stayed low and didn't let herself be known. She met a genuinely good man at NA, who had convinced her to right her wrongs, quit drugs, and fix her family. They had 2 kids together (one with down syndrome), and she was a present, active mother. I felt a vicious jealousy. Why would she go and have 2 more kids when she had 2 that she abandoned? Why were they treated with love and a loving home when we went through hell...? Why didn't she make it up to us before she went and had more kids..?
My mind did weird things then. It made me need her approval. I kissed up to her, saying I forgave her. That I always knew everything was always her ex bfs fault and not hers.That we were sad when she left. I planned a trip to see her a month later and her new family, my friends all begged me it was a bad idea, to please please not go, and at least to not tell my brother about it. I listened to them, and didnt tell my brother any of this, I told him I was visiting a long distance friend.
I went, we had a pretty good time. Her kids were cute, and I absolutely adored her new lover. He was a good southern man, my gut told me that. He took me fishing, and let me talk through all my feelings. I finally had the relationship with her that I always craved. It felt sickening good, I was estatic. I didn't care about all of the weird signs, like the weird friends she had (looked like crack addicts), and how she managed to get a kind rich southern guy to take her in. I didn't even care. I was just happy to finally feel like I had her approval. I have a habit of bedwetting time to time from anxiety, I ended up having an accident and I was mortified. I cleaned it all up, but told her and, she said it was no big deal. She used to scream at me or hit me as a child for wetting the bed, and now she was reacting normally. It was like a new woman.
My trip was cut short by a week, she had to be rushed into hospital because her appedix was about to explode, she needed to recover and wouldnt be able to do anything fun with me for the remainder of the trip. I watchd her get taken by the ambulance, and was freaking out crying, I was so relieved when the surgery was a success. Her new man apologized profusely for all he stress and bought me a plane ticket back home to NY. He hugged me saying he would be so happy to see me again over the summer, and he had so much fun fishing with me. That he wanted to be a good step dad. He was a nice dude, just like my dad (a good guy she manipulated) I felt it in my gut. They both were at the airport, my mother in a wheelchair, and hugged me off. She said she loved me and to text her when I landed
I did, and got no response. Another day passed, nothing. I started to freak out and called her, only for it to go to voicemail. I messaged one of her friends sons who she Introduced me to. Asking if she was okay. He said he would get back to me once she responded to him, but them he too ghosted me. It was like she was never there. I called her partners work, and they said they would tell him to give me a call. Nothing. I was in despair. I assumed the worst, that she had died or something because of a surgery complication. I was so confused. I pushed it all out of my mind, wrote it off as a mystery even though it ate up at me. I always just justified it as a death, even though it made no sense. She was still following me on Facebook, but there wasn't activity for months when she was once super active. I deleted facebook a few months later because it just hurt.
It's been about 3 years since then. I needed to re-download facebook because my aunt wanted me to check something on matketplace... and I looked up her name just out of curiosity... shes been posting for over a year now. She's okay. She posts her kids, her fiance... she never once responded ro any of my messages yet. Not on text, not on Facebook messenger, no where.... I scrolled and scrolled, crying. I saw she got a new tattoo... a rose for each of her kids.... one for each of her two new kids, one for a miscarriage she had...two for our sisters who passed away... NONE for me or my brother. Like we don't even exist to her.
I don't know what to do. I want to know WHY. We finally had a good relationship, I finally forgave her. We finally could have been okay, saw each other a few times a year... she said she was happy to have me back in her life.... WHY? I'm so heartbroken and confused. I miss her. Was it because I wet the bed? I don't know. I know shes horrible, but I can't help but miss her so much it hurts. Should I continue trying to reach out, or just let her go..? How do I process thos? Any advice, or maybe a theory/explanation/comfort. Anything would help. I just need help. I don't know what to do...