Pics of farm accidents

AITA? Hey y'all. First time poster here. 😅 This is a REALLY LONG one...
TW: d34th (grief), DV
How do I (28F) not make ADHD my entire personality? 😫 I am unmedicated (unemployed and medication is not something I can afford rn), and find it extremely difficult not to let my neurodivergence permeate throughout my entire life and affect my relationships. I really try my best, but it's an uphill battle when it affects how I communicate, relate with others, and self-regulate the RSD. I also have an anxious attachment style due to childhood trauma and history of domestic abuse in a previous relationship, so there's that. 😔 One of the most challenging things about being a neurodivergent living in a predominantly neurotypical world is the lack of education on it and lack of empathy and compassion for people on the spectrum. Not trying to be a victim here, this is just my experience.
Some of the things I battle with:

• executive dysfunction
• oversharing and dealing with shame thereafter
• being long-winded (taking forever to get to the point bc I add too much context in the hopes of being understood, bc honestly, I always feel misunderstood)
• feeling things super intensely and struggling to manage my emotions
• memory loss (this predisposes me to gaslighting where I could be gaslit or even be the gaslighter)

So I've been talking to this guy (28M) via Facebook messenger and mostly Whatsapp for about 9 months now. We're long distance (living in different provinces - I'm in South Africa btw), and both have so much going on in our lives, that it's simply not practical to be official bc 1. I'm unemployed and have so much trauma and internal work to get through, while he is trying to build a successful business that is still quite a baby (less than 5 years old) and 2. We just want to be realistic about the chances of a LDR being successful. So right now, we're in a talking stage.
Now this guy has been all green flags since we started talking. Attentive, kind, funny without being mean, God-fearing (I respect all beliefs, even the lack thereof so this is not a jab at anyone who isn't. It's simply a green flag for ME as we are aligned in that way), family oriented, and honestly he is just always really nice and reassuring to me, even in moments where I have done something to upset him. That stood out to me bc he does not withold intimacy when we have conflict. He also has a genuine curiosity about how my ADHD affects me, and has always shown compassion to me about it. This is really important bc I've never experienced this with ANY man I have dealt with. I usually look for love in men who get irritated by this, I have been told that I use my ADHD as an excuse in some arguments with an ex, been shamed for the executive dysfunction and long-windedness, have had boundaries crossed regarding my physical sensitivity to certain touch bc I guess ADHD doesn't seem like a real thing to certain people?
Anyway, he's been going through a lot mentally and emotionally, his business has been taking a lot of knocks, funding and budget issues etc. He lives on a farm (hates city life lol) which he finds to be more peaceful to him, however, he's been in the city for about 3 months now due to work setbacks. It's affected his mental health quite negatively, and I often feel pained by this. I often feel helpless bc I can't solve his problems, and he just becomes aloof and buries his head in work. I can completely understand this, bc his business is his baby, and he's dedicated about 4 years into making it a success, forfeiting a social life completely, and that includes dating. He is extremely self-sufficient and unlike me, he is able to compartmentalize his life and readjust his priorities to make space for his career needs. He has no problem making difficult choices for long-term rewards. Now mix that with his own childhood trauma that has created abandonment issues with him. 🤦🏾‍♀️ He is of the sad opinion that everyone leaves, and it's always just a matter of time.
This is a problem, bc I also battle RSD, so when I feel his aloofness, it feels like he's so distant. This makes me feel unsafe in being vulnerable. I withdraw completely and start fighting feelings of being unwanted and neglected. It's a really difficult one bc I don't want to play in to his abandonment issues, and I also want to give him grace bc he hasn't really dealt with a woman romantically in YEARS. He has communicated this with me, so I try to keep it in mind, even tho I have to fight my own head sometimes. 😅🤦🏾‍♀️ But how do I get over these feelings? How do I communicate this with him when he has warned me over and over about what's happening in his life? It seems that his challenges are challenging both of us, and I'm honestly just scared of losing him.
Thought I was done? Lol, sorry, but no. My long-winded behind is only just about to get to the main point of this post. 🤣🤦🏾‍♀️
On the 13th May last year my 18 year old brother died in a car accident on his way back from a school event. It was an abrupt death, and was really hard on my family and me. Now, my little brother and I were extremely close, so his death is still something I grieve a lot, and I think I still bleed onto others when I am overwhelmed with emotion. A few days ago marked the 1 year anniversary of his death, and I was not in a good place at all. That night I called this guy, and he told me he was getting some work done that he needed to submit for something. In that moment and for the first time, I was really not trying to be this understanding woman for him. I needed a space to just be an emotional mess and have him listen to me. I needed comfort from him. I also just missed him; I missed him just being there for me. Maybe this was a bad idea, bc he has mentioned a little while ago that he has been failing empty and drained. 🤦🏾‍♀️
Anyway, I started bleeding onto him, was crying on the phone and talking about my brother (whom I've only really talked about with him). Now, he is the problem-solving type, so his first instinct was to advise me on how to deal with that day, I guess. Usually, I find this to be quite endearing. He always wants to show up for the people he cares about, and wants to be helpful. However, in that moment, I didn't need him to be that. I just needed him to be there for me, in a safe and comforting silence. I snapped at him, asking him not to be an advisor for once bc that's not what I needed. I could hear the pained surprise on the other end of the phone, paused, and then apologised for the way that I snapped. I continued with my rant and mid-talk, he just asked if we could talk the following day. I was taken aback by the way he wanted to conclude the conversation where I was emotionally charged and in a state of grief. It upset me so much, I dropped the call without a proper goodbye.
I spent the following day thinking about this, validating him and then validating myself over him.
He called me later that evening, wanting us to talk about what happened on the call. I was expecting him to apologise for wanting to end the call in a moment where I just needed him to be there for him. To my surprise he called to actually call me out for snapping at him and then dropping the call on him. This kick-started an argument (which is quite rare for us bc within the 9 months of us talking, this was our second argument) between us, where I guess we were both feeling unheard. At every attempt of mine to try and explain where my reaction was coming from, he would get frustrated and cut me off... he did it so often to where I was starting to wonder if he just called me to fight or there was something deeper going on with him.
Anyway, what REALLY got me in that argument was that at some point I called him out for not letting me finish my sentences. He kept intercepting while I was trying to make a point, which was crazy to me. At some point, I had to remind him that I have ADHD, so maybe I can be long-winded, but I need him to bear with me as I make my point. Well, I tried, but before I could even finish that sentence, he sighed in frustration, and exclaimed, "Jesus! This is not about your ADHD! Now we're back to your ADHD!"
I was shocked. Partly bc had he allowed me to finish that sentence, he might have gotten to hear the part where I was merely trying to remind him so that he can listen and understand me better. Not to deflect from his grievance with me. 🤦🏾‍♀️
Mostly tho, was bc I was NOT expecting that from HIM. It suddenly triggered me to my experiences in the past with people conveniently ignoring the fact that I live with ADHD, ignoring how very real my experience with it is, and how I quite literally cannot help the way my brain works. I feel like that was the most ableist thing I have ever heard coming from his mouth, and it really rocked me.
I can fully own that I was not right to snap at him, nor was I right to drop the call like that. I have apologised for this. It was the first thing I did. It's just so tricky bc my responses were triggered by his reaction to me in that moment. I was at an emotional low and maybe this is a bit entitled of me, but I was really hoping for a little more grace considering what I was so emotional about. 😔 AITA? Am I not doing enough work to manage my ADHD so that it is not causing conflict in my relationships and how I navigate them?
Please be kind. I've really fallen for this man, and want to make things right.

AITA? Hey y'all. First time poster here. 😅 This is a REALLY LONG one...
TW: d34th (grief), DV
How do I (28F) not make ADHD my entire personality? 😫 I am unmedicated (unemployed and medication is not something I can afford rn), and find it extremely difficult not to let my neurodivergence permeate throughout my entire life and affect my relationships. I really try my best, but it's an uphill battle when it affects how I communicate, relate with others, and self-regulate the RSD. I also have an anxious attachment style due to childhood trauma and history of domestic abuse in a previous relationship, so there's that. 😔 One of the most challenging things about being a neurodivergent living in a predominantly neurotypical world is the lack of education on it and lack of empathy and compassion for people on the spectrum. Not trying to be a victim here, this is just my experience.
Some of the things I battle with:

• executive dysfunction
• oversharing and dealing with shame thereafter
• being long-winded (taking forever to get to the point bc I add too much context in the hopes of being understood, bc honestly, I always feel misunderstood)
• feeling things super intensely and struggling to manage my emotions
• memory loss (this predisposes me to gaslighting where I could be gaslit or even be the gaslighter)

So I've been talking to this guy (28M) via Facebook messenger and mostly Whatsapp for about 9 months now. We're long distance (living in different provinces - I'm in South Africa btw), and both have so much going on in our lives, that it's simply not practical to be official bc 1. I'm unemployed and have so much trauma and internal work to get through, while he is trying to build a successful business that is still quite a baby (less than 5 years old) and 2. We just want to be realistic about the chances of a LDR being successful. So right now, we're in a talking stage.
Now this guy has been all green flags since we started talking. Attentive, kind, funny without being mean, God-fearing (I respect all beliefs, even the lack thereof so this is not a jab at anyone who isn't. It's simply a green flag for ME as we are aligned in that way), family oriented, and honestly he is just always really nice and reassuring to me, even in moments where I have done something to upset him. That stood out to me bc he does not withold intimacy when we have conflict. He also has a genuine curiosity about how my ADHD affects me, and has always shown compassion to me about it. This is really important bc I've never experienced this with ANY man I have dealt with. I usually look for love in men who get irritated by this, I have been told that I use my ADHD as an excuse in some arguments with an ex, been shamed for the executive dysfunction and long-windedness, have had boundaries crossed regarding my physical sensitivity to certain touch bc I guess ADHD doesn't seem like a real thing to certain people?
Anyway, he's been going through a lot mentally and emotionally, his business has been taking a lot of knocks, funding and budget issues etc. He lives on a farm (hates city life lol) which he finds to be more peaceful to him, however, he's been in the city for about 3 months now due to work setbacks. It's affected his mental health quite negatively, and I often feel pained by this. I often feel helpless bc I can't solve his problems, and he just becomes aloof and buries his head in work. I can completely understand this, bc his business is his baby, and he's dedicated about 4 years into making it a success, forfeiting a social life completely, and that includes dating. He is extremely self-sufficient and unlike me, he is able to compartmentalize his life and readjust his priorities to make space for his career needs. He has no problem making difficult choices for long-term rewards. Now mix that with his own childhood trauma that has created abandonment issues with him. 🤦🏾‍♀️ He is of the sad opinion that everyone leaves, and it's always just a matter of time.
This is a problem, bc I also battle RSD, so when I feel his aloofness, it feels like he's so distant. This makes me feel unsafe in being vulnerable. I withdraw completely and start fighting feelings of being unwanted and neglected. It's a really difficult one bc I don't want to play in to his abandonment issues, and I also want to give him grace bc he hasn't really dealt with a woman romantically in YEARS. He has communicated this with me, so I try to keep it in mind, even tho I have to fight my own head sometimes. 😅🤦🏾‍♀️ But how do I get over these feelings? How do I communicate this with him when he has warned me over and over about what's happening in his life? It seems that his challenges are challenging both of us, and I'm honestly just scared of losing him.
Thought I was done? Lol, sorry, but no. My long-winded behind is only just about to get to the main point of this post. 🤣🤦🏾‍♀️
On the 13th May last year my 18 year old brother died in a car accident on his way back from a school event. It was an abrupt death, and was really hard on my family and me. Now, my little brother and I were extremely close, so his death is still something I grieve a lot, and I think I still bleed onto others when I am overwhelmed with emotion. A few days ago marked the 1 year anniversary of his death, and I was not in a good place at all. That night I called this guy, and he told me he was getting some work done that he needed to submit for something. In that moment and for the first time, I was really not trying to be this understanding woman for him. I needed a space to just be an emotional mess and have him listen to me. I needed comfort from him. I also just missed him; I missed him just being there for me. Maybe this was a bad idea, bc he has mentioned a little while ago that he has been failing empty and drained. 🤦🏾‍♀️
Anyway, I started bleeding onto him, was crying on the phone and talking about my brother (whom I've only really talked about with him). Now, he is the problem-solving type, so his first instinct was to advise me on how to deal with that day, I guess. Usually, I find this to be quite endearing. He always wants to show up for the people he cares about, and wants to be helpful. However, in that moment, I didn't need him to be that. I just needed him to be there for me, in a safe and comforting silence. I snapped at him, asking him not to be an advisor for once bc that's not what I needed. I could hear the pained surprise on the other end of the phone, paused, and then apologised for the way that I snapped. I continued with my rant and mid-talk, he just asked if we could talk the following day. I was taken aback by the way he wanted to conclude the conversation where I was emotionally charged and in a state of grief. It upset me so much, I dropped the call without a proper goodbye.
I spent the following day thinking about this, validating him and then validating myself over him.
He called me later that evening, wanting us to talk about what happened on the call. I was expecting him to apologise for wanting to end the call in a moment where I just needed him to be there for him. To my surprise he called to actually call me out for snapping at him and then dropping the call on him. This kick-started an argument (which is quite rare for us bc within the 9 months of us talking, this was our second argument) between us, where I guess we were both feeling unheard. At every attempt of mine to try and explain where my reaction was coming from, he would get frustrated and cut me off... he did it so often to where I was starting to wonder if he just called me to fight or there was something deeper going on with him.
Anyway, what REALLY got me in that argument was that at some point I called him out for not letting me finish my sentences. He kept intercepting while I was trying to make a point, which was crazy to me. At some point, I had to remind him that I have ADHD, so maybe I can be long-winded, but I need him to bear with me as I make my point. Well, I tried, but before I could even finish that sentence, he sighed in frustration, and exclaimed, "Jesus! This is not about your ADHD! Now we're back to your ADHD!"
I was shocked. Partly bc had he allowed me to finish that sentence, he might have gotten to hear the part where I was merely trying to remind him so that he can listen and understand me better. Not to deflect from his grievance with me. 🤦🏾‍♀️
Mostly tho, was bc I was NOT expecting that from HIM. It suddenly triggered me to my experiences in the past with people conveniently ignoring the fact that I live with ADHD, ignoring how very real my experience with it is, and how I quite literally cannot help the way my brain works. I feel like that was the most ableist thing I have ever heard coming from his mouth, and it really rocked me.
I can fully own that I was not right to snap at him, nor was I right to drop the call like that. I have apologised for this. It was the first thing I did. It's just so tricky bc my responses were triggered by his reaction to me in that moment. I was at an emotional low and maybe this is a bit entitled of me, but I was really hoping for a little more grace considering what I was so emotional about. 😔 AITA? Am I not doing enough work to manage my ADHD so that it is not causing conflict in my relationships and how I navigate them?
Please be kind. I've really fallen for this man, and want to make things right.

First playthrough had me regretting spending flowers on lots of dyes I didn't love. I would advice players who are like me and want to get cool dyes without needing to farm flowers, to save up for later - esp for when you get new armor.
Also, for those who want to know how to find more dye colors in addition to those available through the regular merchant (it's possible to miss finding on your own): there are 3 dye merchants who only sell white, black, and red armor dyes (one merchant for each). Where to find: White: in the first area to the north-west. Black: second area in the south-east. Red: Iki Island Pics of where on the map can be found on Google
If you want lots of flowers fast, there are certain locations where a lot will spawn. You can find it on Google (someone might link in a comment).

Let me start with the summary version:
It all began when I first stumbled upon Inside Edition's videos of women - that's WOMEN getting slammed, insulted, and blasted for "showing too much of their body (with kids around)". Then it escalates further when they show a school is photoshopping out women's cleavages to make them look "modest" for their yearbook. I feel this type of treatment towards the female human is all wrong! Like, can't anybody learn to appreciate and look at the female body without censoring it in any way? Can't you let ANYBODY, including kids, get a chance to learn about the differences between the male and female human bodies????
Then comes along... you guessed it. That one video Inside Edition publishes. And after seeing her top blurred, my inner voice in my head: "That's the last straw!" Like, can't some of us get a chance to learn something new that just aroused our curiosity? Such as how the human body changes with time in terms of both genders? Like, now, I can finally visualize myself (my whole body) from little boy to fully grown man. But when Inside Edition published that footage, the new question that took me by storm is: what would a female look like from little girl to fully grown woman?
But with YouTube's broken comment system GHOSTING certain-to-random comments, even on my backup YouTube account, I can't seem to get ANY messages across!
Speaking of which, when I tried to post this on Feminism and AskFeminists, they BOTH perma-banned me for NO REASON and muted me from talking to their mods for 28 days!
Why do I say "no reason"?
"Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in this subreddit because your post violates this community's rules. You won't be able to post or comment, but you can still view and subscribe to it.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team by replying to this message.
Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole."
As you can see, there is no specific reason listed in the message above. So this is why I claim or what I mean by "banned from a sub for 'no reason'. - Even for something that was never officially listed on that sub's rule board.
Once more, I, along with these parents of their own daughter proved one major point: if a male can go topless/show their body, then so can a female - regardless of age!
Can't I get a chance to learn something new? Some evolution/development processes for certain things can be a little more complicated then you originally first thought.
Now here's the detailed version:
Ok, before you start reading below, I want you to visit this and read the whole article to better understand my situation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/guelph-parents-angry-after-topless-girl-8-told-to-cover-up-1.3124762
I got banned from Lemmy social site servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statues - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest ~the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human~ - regardless of their race AND age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
Please ~actually watch these before jumping to conclusions~ so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: why so much hate on the female human - even as children? Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body? Just like those parents of their own 8 year old daughter, I too am genuinely outraged by this type of treatment towards the female human!
And what's the big deal with nipples? I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather bitter! They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 Lemmy social sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age!
Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced! Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes (why do you think they (Pampers, Huggies, etc.) even allow a pic of a topless little boy or girl to be plastered on a diaper box we see in grocery stores/supermarkets everyday?), Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across. All this combined, ~I'VE NEVER FELT SO SHUNNED FROM THE INTERNET IN ALL MY LIFE!~
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this. It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations really is lost. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, ~the inconsistencies of female human censorship~.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will stand up, step up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body! What about the famous Jeanneke Pis in Belgium? Do you think she along with other nude statues are trying to promote pedophilia?

Hello everyone this is my first post so I may be rambling a bit and also there might be here few mistakes in grammar
So I need some advice about how to deal with my father's decisions . My father M(47) has made a lot of depts from the bank as well as from family members and other relatives/friends. My father who grow up in poor family and who has very bad luck in business and office work my father had been accused of some very bad thing in the past because of that my father was not good for a lot of years even now he has not gotten the promotion he deserves or he should have . His college who started with him at the same time at the same company are where ahead of him and make almost 6 figures a year . Now from my childhood my family has never been poor or has never been in a type of situation where we might be a avictiated or have any problems with food, clothes. My mom who grow up in a very educational household by that I mean my grandfather was a principle of a school and had a very good reputation among our city. So obviously my mother side of the family is very well of their educationally well of as well. My father's side of the family was not well educated they had only gone up to the 8th or 12th grade my father is the only one who was very passionate about his education so he had to go through a lot to receive his education my grandfather did not support him neither it is sisters or brother he has six sisters and two brothers which and none of them supported him doing the hardest times of his life he worked hard to get everywhere he went he was a great father figure to me . Last year at march my father open a new business and was hoping to do well in his business but because of my father side of the family's greed he had suffered a lot of loss my father is a Banker so it was very tough for him to do both business and a job my mom was a great support for him but my father who had no supporters for most of his life I don't think he can trust anybody anymore not even me or my mom.me and my mom have a very close relationship we share everything with each other. My dad struggled a lot with his family my mom bought many lands from his family and helped my cousins rise up my mom and dad supported and basically raised my cousins for as long as I can remember Ever since I was two months old my cousin have lived with us for free my mom paid for the education and gave food like rice vegetables such other things for my dad side of the family to live but they where were Ungrateful till the very end they had accused my mum from stealing to not treating them right and every single thing they could accuse her of even though she she supported them for more than 20 years. Once I went to my youngest aunt's house they were talking about how my cousins were living at my house my youngest aunt started saying that her son and daughter can never visit their uncle's house because of how my mum treats them I was 13 at the time I set out loud what do you mean you never come to our house even when my dad was sick I had been in an accident you did not come to visit me once you said you were busy and I understood that that you could be busy about your life but how could you say that we do not treat you right when you don't even come to our house my aunt was very surprised and yelled at me for saying such stuff when I was so young that this is because my mother told me to tell everyone about this. And this was one of the many stories that I have about her bullying me and my mother she was the main leader of my father's side of the family my grandparents died when I was at least three or four years old I don't remember them much but from what I know or from what I remember they were not very kind people either my grandfather had burdened my mum with a lot of the things like cleaning his washroom and he would accuser that she was ugly and something like that as I do not remember much I cannot tell more about this sorry my mum and my dad forgave them every single time my cousins my aunts everyone bullied me and my mother and father recently my father's eldest brothers son he's also one of my eldest cousins called my mum to accuse my father of stealing from our land for context we own a lot of land in my father's home site and those were mostly sold to my mum by my father's second brother. And their farms in one way we were accused of stealing by eating our own planted weeds my grandfather's house which was very old was renewed by my mum as she had the money to do so but all the credit was taken by my oldest uncle and now his son was accusing us of stealing my mother became hysterical and started crying and start calling my dad she told him because of his wrong decisions because of his wrongdoings now we were suffering even though we were innocent we were never able to speak up about it not even now my mother's side of the family knows about this but they cannot do much because in our country it's never right to interfere between a in law's family.
So can someone give me advice about what I should do about this.

So I decided to quit from sissy porn and masturbation once and for all. I started watching sissy porn by accident when I was 16 yo. And since then it hasn’t stopped I thought I could quit any day but it was like a rabbit hole, and little by little took a lot of me “money, time, sexual satisfaction, only wanting to watch porn and doing nothing more than that. Sadly I started cross dressing and posting my pics online, because the attention made me “feel secure” but I knew it was bad to do that. And that does men only worry because they wanted sex. And didn’t care about a human being. At another point I thought to cheating my GF with a man that considered me a Sissy. And use hormones to feminise my self (not because I wanted to be a girl full time, but because I was aroused to the idea). I don’t want to cheat someone I love. I don’t want to become someone I’m not. Right now I’m 24 years old. I want to quit this stupid addiction. I want to now how you do it is it possible to recover?

I've gone through the manual but this entire structure confuses me. On the old Gear Box app, if I plug a momentary switch pedal into 'Footswitch 1' then it will operate as on/off for a distortion pedal. Simple.
With Pod Farm I cannot figure out how this is supposed to work.
I've imported all my presets from Gear Box & they sound OK, but just won't toggle the stomp. I'm trying to future-proof myself for upgrading to a modern Mac. I've been using Gear Box for nearly 2 decades, but have a license for Pod Farm 2, so I'm trying to transition. Here's a pic of my settings -
https://preview.redd.it/2vkev3kcrc1d1.jpg?width=1567&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=140630390ad7969117403b133df8e85c21d0391e

Hi,
I was recently rear-ended. Thankfully my spouse and I are okay. Our 2018 BMW car sustained some bumper and taillight damage. State Farm (the other parties insurance) offered $600 after sending in images, which is very low. They requested only two images from far away and their quote missed the taillight and some damage.
I found a highly rated shop. The owner quoted $3,500 for parts and labor, right around what a family friend from out of state (which works in a body shop) quoted over video call. The owner mentioned they are not a direct repair facility. He said I should expect the repair cost to be higher if they find additional damage and that it would be out of pocket. He did mention he would be happy to provide supplemental documents of what else is fixed.
I’m not sure what to do. I declined State Farm’s $600 offer, but they are now sending me a check via mail. Should I request that State Farm completes another estimate based off more than two images? If additional damage is found, shouldn’t State Farm handle this cost? It seems like it would be my role to request this from them, since the shop doesn’t work directly with them. What would my recourse be if they declined it? I was considering getting additional quotes from other shops as well, but that obviously won’t help me determine what the supplemental cost could be.
Thank you very much in advance. This is my first accident so I am very uninformed in these matters.

Context: In the 70's he was a stoner and when cannabis got legalized in my state he started a "business" on the family farm. Everything is a DIY nightmare of what a actual growery should look like. Licenses and construction left us in debt with no employees. Only people are me (18), friend of dad, and him.
Working with him is hell. Everything is disorganized and always done the hard way because he can't accept that there are better ways to do things other that his way. Laziness and carelessness leaves trash everywhere and accidents constantly happening that I have to clean up. His procrastination has made his friend almost quit, but after being manipulated by him returned to work, because if his friend left it would fall apart.
The N part comes in because he constantly tries to "educate" me every second he gets, just spitting out political brainrot he gets fed through facebook and FOX News (which he sleeps with on btw). The constant negativity got to me and I started living at my grandma's which is unfortunately close to my house. Now he's calling or showing up in person forcing me to come over because he desperately needs my help, threatening to cancel my phone or take my PC away.
I am not allowed to get a job because he "pays" me (he doesn't) and I can't move out because I don't have the money. Family just tells me to deal with it and my friends can't offer housing.

I walked the Frances from mid Sept to the end of Oct 2023. My plan was that I would always take the longest route if there were options. This didn't always happen, but almost always the alternative path was a great diversion and when I joined back up with my camino family, they weren't happy with their route. Usually the alternative routes are longer but the benefit is they take you away from roads and into more nature.
I'm going to use Gronze maps to explain where these are. I primarily used the Buen Camino app while walking, and Gronze sometimes implies the alternatives are the main path...

1. SJPDP to Roncesvalles - the Napoleon vs Road route is described a lot. However on the Napoleon at the start of the decent down to Roncesvalles you can go directly down on the path through the forest or take the winding gravel road to the right. The pilgrims' office in SJPDP told everyone to take this road due to the conditions, almost no one did and they had a hard time with the steepness and mud. The road has amazing views, including that of the main albergue in Roncesvalles. It's far safer, less steep, but it is somewhat exposed. Towards the end there is a km or two next to a river and the road, but overall highly recommended. Extra distance - about 500m. link to map
   
2. Estella to Los Arcos - There is a shortcut "variant" just outside Ayegui, don't take this as you'll miss the famous Irache winery (free wine). Many people did though, by accident. Then, a little ways past the winery, there is an alternative path to the south, "variant de Montejurra". I don't think this path is much longer, might even be shorter, but it's far more scenic from what I heard. You get on to single track through trees which is really nice especially on a hot day. There are some terrific views and you're far away from the main roads. link to map
   
3. Logroño to Nájera - This is a long days walk, but there is the little town of Ventosa which can be bypassed saving you 1km. However this "detour" takes you along an "art walk", away from the road, and Ventosa is a nice place to stop for a drink/ice cream/tapa. The bypass is marked on the map as "camino directo". link to map
   
4. Entering Burgos - This one is essential. The main camino route takes you north of the airport, through a lot of industrial areas etc. Or, the alternative takes you south and you enter Burgos along its river. It's a stunning walk, and if the sun is out you'll see all the locals hanging out and enjoying their main park. We even had a quick swim in the river! It's about 1km longer, but that river walk is so nice and shady. There is a sign to show you where to turn, but many still missed it. link to map
   
5. Fromista to Carrión de los Condes - Just as you leave Población de Campos the Way splits and there is a northern path that takes you away from being next to the road for about 10km. Well worth it. Instead you are on a single track path next to a small river, and farm roads. You can actually see the road to you left a few hundred meters away!. Adds about 1km, but absolutely worth it. You have to look for this, there isn't obvious signs. link to map
   
6. León to Hospital de Órbigo - The official camino path takes you alongside a main road all day here, and from what people have told me, it was the worst day on the entire camino. The alternative route breaks off into the countryside just as you finally leave the outskirts of León. There are a number of small villages with albergues along this route so you don't have to make it all the way to Hospital de Órbigo. It's mostly still on roads, some dirt, but there were almost no cars. We stayed in a casa rural called Molino Galochas (just after Villavante), which I highly recommend, book though. This detour is about 4km longer. Gronze documents it over two stages. link to map
   
7. Hospital de Órbigo to Astorga - As you exit Hospital de Órbigo there is yellow paint all over the road telling you to turn right. Most people missed it, don't! Gronze suggests it as the main route. Again you avoid the main road, and there is the best snack oasis of the camino on this path, plus decent views of Astorga. <1km longer perhaps. link to map
   
8. Entering Ponferrada - many people stick to the side of the road going into town, but the Way breaks off to the left through some more countryside. It's a tough decision because it's a hard day of walking and this adds a bit more of a hill and about 1km. Nothing amazing to report about this section but you avoid the main road ("variant por carretera"). link to map
   
9. Entering Villafranca - another must do.... just after Pieros at the top of the hill, you turn right away from the main road, as per Gronze's suggested path. This takes you through some very scenic countryside, and away from the main road, adding about 1km. link to map
   
10. Leaving Villafranca - I didn't do this alternative as guides and people suggested not to. It takes you up a mountain which is fairly steep and it was pouring down the day I walked this. But it's on the Gronze map. link to map
    
11. Triacastela to Sarria - well documented southern route to the monastery in Samos. About 7km longer but well worth stopping there and doing the tour. A really beautiful trail that day too, but I'm sure the other way is great too. link to map
    
12. Leaving Portomarín - this one isn't on Gronze's maps, but just as you cross the bridge leaving town you can go right following the road, or left following a lesser used road. I went left (longer), it was nice - very green, no cars at all. There are two camino markers pointing in each direction at the end of the bridge so you can't miss it. Probably <1km longer and you get views of the river for a bit.
    

There will be other detours and alternatives that you see on your Camino. I encourage you to explore..... Buen Camino!

I've seen a lot of videos on YouTube of people installing residential fridges in their skoolies, but only a handful actually show how they secured them to the bus so they don't fly all over the place in case of an accident or sudden braking. How did you secure yours? Pics and/or videos would be very helpful. Thank you

Hey all!
My second (much shorter) script!
This is based on real events. My childhood dog was put to sleep when I was sat in a bar one time, and the barmaid who served me was so lovely to me about it. She had some mutual friends that I knew and posted about me on Facebook afterwards. I never forgot how nice she was, and was really sad to learn she died a few years back in a car accident :(
In honour of her, and the kindness of strangers, I put together this little script below.
I doubt anyone will want to, but open for YouTube/Patreon etc and monetization. Just credit and link to me :)
Sound of clinking glasses. Maybe some background noise but the bar isn’t too busy.

Barmaid
Hey, what can I get you? Pint of lager? Sure thing, coming up.

Sound of pint being poured.

Barmaid
There you go. [specifies the price – the currency of your country] Thankyou.

Sound of drink being drunk quickly.

Barmaid
Are you okay? Sorry, don’t mean to pry, but you look a little down.

Sound of a phone ringing. More clinking glasses for a second.

Barmaid
A shock of straight whisky? Urm, okay. Here you go. Look, are you sure you’re okay? It’s just, you’re on your own, it’s midday, and you’re downing whisky. Plus, don’t often see people your age in here.
(softly)
You may have noticed, our cliental is a bit older than you.
(louder)
No offence, Brian. You still look no older than 50!
(softly)
I swear that guy was coming in here before they invented the TV.

Sound of a drink being drunk quick. A bit of a gasp.

Barmaid
Yeah, that stuff is pretty grim on it’s own. Would you like some water? What was that? Oh no, really? I’m so sorry hon.
(voice softens)
When did it happen? Just now? That was your Dad on the phone? Oh, honey, that’s really sad. I don’t think a lot of people fully appreciate how much pets are a big part of our life. Here, let me get you some water.

Sound of water being poured.

Barmaid
There you go. Drink that. Trust me. You’re too young to be downing whisky like this. It’s okay, you can have a little cry if you want. Nobody’s going to mind here. We’re really not that busy. I just need to dry these glasses.
(beat)
Nope, I don’t have a pet. My arsehole landlord won’t allow them! My mum has a cat though. To be honest, he’s a right vicious sod. Scratched my arm last week. But she loves him to bits. He gets better food than I do! Was yours a cat, or… a dog? Aww, I love dogs! They’re tying, but they bring so much love to a house. What breed was yours?
(beat)
A boxer girl? Aww, they’re awesome dogs! So funny. Great with kids. I’m guessing you were young when you got her?
(beat)
10? Aww man, I’m jealous. I always wanted a dog but mum always said no. Said they were too messy, but I could have a goldfish. Won one at a fair once. Ended up down the toilet two days later. Sorry, I know I’m rambling on. Do you want to be alone?
(beat)
Well, I’m just here then. You can tell me about your girl if you like. What was her name?
(beat)
Sorry, I misheard… Crotchet? That’s an, urm, unusual name. If you don’t mind me asking… oh, you mean like the music note? Ahh I see! You play piano? Your sister’s idea, eh? No, it isn’t silly! Come on, my mum’s cat is called Miss Kitty Fantastico. Yeah, really. No, I don’t know either.
(beat)
You got her when she was eight weeks old? Aww I bet she was so cute! Yeah, I’d love to see a photo! Aww, look at her! I bet she followed you guys around everywhere! I can see her in the sea there with you two! Dogs love swimming, don’t they? Oh, boxers not really a big fan of it? Looks like she didn’t want to leave you guys alone in the scary water then! Bet you’ve got lots of stories about her. What, a ‘famous poop’?
(beat)
Oh my god, no way! So your mum picked her up mid-poop to try and stop her? Bet it went all over her carpet! Haha, I’m not surprised she was fuming! Sure she was a good girl when she got older, though?
(beat)
Haha really? She just sat down mid-walk and refused to move? You know, my uncle had an old lab once that used to do that. They’d get half way up a hill near his house and his dog would just sit and stare at him. He wouldn’t budge until my uncle turned round, then he’d jump up like a snake had bit him. He was called Bullet.
(beat)
Yeah, Bullet slowed down a lot as he got older too. Couldn’t be bothered to get out of his chair. Crotchet was the same? Bet she thought she was royalty. Awww, look at her on the sofa. Yeah honey, she does look a bit ill there. That’s her last photo? Aww, bless her.
Well, from those pics it really looks like she had a great life. She was clearly adored by you all. It does suck that we have to lose them so soon, but if she was in pain then at least she is at peace now. Aww, it’s okay, please don’t worry. You have a little cry. There, there. It’s okay.
(beat)
It’s hard today, but eventually you’ll focus on the good times. The times in the park, that day on the beach, her ‘famous poop’. You were blessed to have her there with you to grow up with. Bet she didn’t like it when you cried, did she? She wouldn’t want you to be sad. And I’m a firm believer that the ones we love never truly leave us. You feel sad now, but just picture here there, watching over you and wagging her tail.
It’s probably the last thing you want to think about now, but one day you may get another pet. They’ll be different, but they’ll also do little things that remind you of Crotchet, and you’ll smile to yourself. My uncle got a little Dalmatian called Freddie and they’re inseparable. It’s kinda funny.
(beat)
Okay honey. You go. Take care of yourself, and I’m sorry for your loss.

Throwaway account bc I don't want to dox myself but here is the situation. Male SNCO here and I'm TDY with 2 other females (who are from a different unit), one is a SNCO and one is a senior officer. About 1 week ago we arrived at the hotel that we are all staying at. Once I got in I was on the phone with my spouse and wanted to send some pics of the hotel room. While on the phone, I took some pictures of the hotel room and since I was changing out of my travel clothes, one of the pics you could see my reflection in the mirror and I didn't have any pants (or underwear)on. It was a silly looking picture and I wanted to make my spouse laugh bc she was alone and sad without me. I wasn't "posing" or doing anything other than standing there with no pants on and a stupid grin on my face. Since I was exhausted from being up for the better part of 24 hours and also unpacking my stuff, I accidentally attached and sent the room photos and the one with no pants to the group chat with me and the other Soldiers I'm TDY with. When I asked my spouse if they went through and was told no, I looked at my phone and realized they went to the wrong chat. Without thinking I deleted them from my chat (with the slightest hope that it would delete from everyone's chat like you can on whatsapp). A minute later I got a text from the officer saying "wrong text" and I immediately and profusely apologized and said that was meant for my spouse and that I accidentally sent it to the group chat, and that I was so sorry and embarrassed and that it was in no way meant for anyone but my spouse. A little later I saw them both in person and it was a bit awkward but we all just acted like nothing had happened. After that, I spoke to the officer one on one and she said that she understood that it was an honest mistake but still called her SHARP rep to see if anything had to be done (calling the SHARP rep seemed unnecessary but it was already done) . She confirmed that she told the SHARP rep that it was an accident and that the text was meant for my spouse and not them. She also told me that both she and the other NCO deleted the text and that neither one of them was going to file any sort of complaint since they both knew that it was an accident. The officer also said that if the SHARP rep said that any action needed to be taken, that she wanted to handle it at the lowest level with just a counseling and that she would not recommend anything further. So far its been almost 1 week and nothing has been said and we have all been working fine together. Logically I don't see how this could go that far since it was an accident (which is abundantly clear since I also sent photos of the hotel room), and since no one made an actual complaint (if there is no complaint then what is there to investigate). The emotional side of my brain however has been a complete wreck. I've never been in any sort of trouble and my mind is racing to me getting kicked out of the Army, losing benefits, etc. I wanted to see if anyone had any advice and/or similar experiences.
***I'll have a week old McDouble with a side of food poisoning please

[FIRST][LAST]
Atlantis Commission
Officer Report - Lieutenant Colonel John Shepard
CLEARANCE LEVEL 5
Well this had definitely been a very interesting couple of hours. This dimension and its people had very odd opinions and ideas. Apparently the prey species of this dimension were all obligate cowards, whose instincts compelled them to be non-violent and run from threats. At least according to themselves. There were apparently some of them who were “predator diseased” as they called it, a disease which often resulted in increased violence, aggression, lack of empathy, and unheard like behavior. It sounded to me like some form of infectious psychopathy, but the venlil assured us it shouldn't affect us since we were predators, which didn’t really ease my fears, but hopefully it was something we could figure out when we got home if it ever became a problem.
Gotta love mandatory quarantine periods woo hoo!
As scary as this odd disease sounded, my main concern at the moment was to try and turn a professed coward into someone who could at the very least defend themselves.
I looked down to the table of gear ahead of me and then over to the mostly naked Venlil to my side, and then even farther to Tiel’c who thought It would be a good idea to help oversee Farva’s rapid fire training course. I fiddled with the bluetooth earpiece which was rigged up to one of our handhelds to run a translation program to speak directly with the captain. A big step up from our unknowingly one sided communications earlier.
I stepped on the other side of the plastic table and placed my hands down upon it and looked on at my new student..
“Welcome Captain Farva to our very impromptu accelerated course on Human arms armor and basic infantry tactics.” I said gesturing to the hodge podge gear we had managed to assemble for the good captain. “Are we ready to begin?”.
She flicked her ears, somewhat nervously by the looks.
“I’d take it that's a yes then?”
“Oh yes sorry”
“Alright then, well given that most of our crew is human and the only other alien struts around naked all the time, the only gear we have on hand is for humans, So you're going to be running size smalls and it's all going to fit all a bit big” I say as I toss her the tactical vest. ”Here try this on, we can try to tighten it up if it's a bit loose anywhere”. The captain wrestles with the buckles a bit, and Teal'c helps her tighten up some of the top straps, as the Venil’s shoulders weren't as broad as humans. Farva gave Teal’c an odd look, but seemed appreciative none the less.Once finished, she grasped the vest in her paws with interest. “This armor seems quite lightweight, which is nice, weight is often an issue that causes us to forgo armor, since heavy armor would hurt our running ability.” Farva remarks. “Also the sheer amount of pockets seems quite excessive, what do you need all these for?”
“Well for starters it's currently missing these '' I hand Farva one of the armor plates which she looks over. “That is a depleted Naquadria ceramic composite plate. It’s designed to stop bullet impacts and dissipate energy weapon blasts. It slots into that chest compartment in the front and back of your armor.”
“This isn't quite what Id imagine for the armor of your kind”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well judging by your ships I would have imagined you would put more emphasis on defense Your predatory nature would make you less likely to run away from conflict allowing for more encompassing armor to cover more than just your chest, since you have less need to run.”
She would put it like that.
“Well there are a number of reasons for that, a lot to do with those excess pockets you mentioned. For starters you will not be carrying the same amount of gear that the standard infantry unit would normally be carrying, we are preparing you for a quick in and out op. Normally us expedition teams need to be deployed into unknown territory for extended periods of time, we need to carry everything we might need with us from food, bullets, weapons, to comms gear, sensors, repelling equipment etc. The weight from all that gear adds up fast; In order to stay sufficiently mobile and combat effective; we only carry enough armor to protect our vitals, head and torso, anything else can hopefully be patched up by a field medic.”
Tielc gave his piece as well. “It is important to know when to run both towards and aways from one's foes, not every battle can be won through strength alone, but by strategy and cunning. Being able to reposition oneself quickly is therefore highly advantageous”
Farva seemed to freeze at Teal'c's statement, not out of fear I think, she instead had a distant look in her eye. To snap her out of her slump I handed her a standard ballistic helmet.
Seeming to get the idea she looked at it oddly and tried it on. It confirmed to her head shape decently well but depressed her ears to either side of her head, kind of resembling what one might imagine a sad bunny rabbit to look like “I don't think this will be something I can bring with me” she said ” I can't use ear signals and this will muffle my hearing.”
“Why don’t you keep it on for the time being, I think any extra hearing protection might be useful considering what we are about to try next.” I hand Farva some ballistic ear protectors, slightly modified and somewhat ramshackle. “One of the corporals worked closely with Nurse Fila to get an idea for safe decibels levels for your kind, we were also able to get these earbuds molded to fit into your ear canal better”
Farva took them and slipped them in. “These are a bit uncomfortable, what do I need these for?”
“You'll need them for this” I say as I unsnap the clasps on the weapons case revealing its contents.
The content seems to capture Farva’s interest, getting a slight tail wave.
“Okay So this here is a p90, It carries a 50 round top loading magazine of teflon coated armor piercing ordnance. With a cyclical rate of fire of 900 rounds per minute.”
Farvas ears perk up at this. “This seems like an efficient design, I take it these are a flashlight and laser sight for accuracy?” She asked, pointing to the top of the weapon.
“Yes we also have holographic and acog optics which will help line up targets from farther away.” I look on as Farva picks up the weapon and inspects it, testing the weight as I note that it will weigh a fair bit more once loaded. But she doesn't seem to be struggling with the weight. I can't help but notice good firearm safety as well, she keeps her finger well off the trigger and takes care to keep her weapon pointed aways from anyone else.
“This seems like a solid design but I'm not sure how useful those weapon optics would be, as they are not designed for my side facing eyes”
“I'm sure our master at arms can figure something out, why don't we give it a test fire first tho, before we send it off to make adjustments.” I instruct her on how to load the weapon and turn the safety off. I warn her of the sound it makes. And while definitely taken aback by the recoil and sound at first, she quickly gets the hang of it, she has some respectable shot groupings in both single fire and in short bursts. And keeps the rounds reasonably centered while firing in full auto.
She did a whole lot better than I would have initially suspected given her performance in the hanger bay a day before.
“The rate of fire seems useful” Farva spoke “This would be useful for our soldiers, our accuracy falters when we are panicked, and the increased shot count should guarantee some hits based on volume of fire alone” she finished with a dejected expression.
She quickly places the weapon back in its case, as if it burned to touch.” I don't know if I should be armed for this mission, at least not with that weapon, I don't want to miss and hit one of you in the back!”
“What? Nonsense, you are a great shot, and this is just a precaution in case we get separated or flanked and need some covering fire. If our guys are doing their job right you shouldn't need to fire a single round anyways.”
Captain Farva’s breathing started to hasten, earlier I might have thought it was fear, but I was starting to get an idea of what the captain's issues were. I’ve seen this before.
“I.. I can’t be trusted with this responsibility, every time I am left in charge of something, every time people put their lives in my paws I ....”
“Farva, don’t you start with me now you hear.” I said sternly, swiftly capping off her inevitable spiral of self doubt.
“But.. no.. you don’t understand”
Stopping her again I spoke. “But nothing, what happened before on that ship, and back at that colony is in the past. I don’t know your whole situation, but from what I have gathered from the crew It was nothing good. You feel responsible and it's eating away at you, and frankly it doesn’t matter if that's true or not. Accidents happen, people make mistakes, and when that happens we need to learn, take those lessons to heart, and don't let it stop us from helping people in the present. If you let guilt, or fear of mistakes stop you, then bad guys have already won, all without having to have fired a shot”
Farva is quiet for a short time, I was hoping I got through to her, I'm not the best and pep talks and this certainly wasn’t your typical weapons demo, if only everyones could go as smoothly as Ronan’s.
Farva spoke quietly, arms pressed up against her chest, she looked so sad, defeated, and small. Well more than usual anyways. “We can't be strong like you humans, we are too emotional and when we are scared we run away or we lock up and...”
“And that is clearly not the case with you captain Farva” Teal’c finally reentered the conversation having heard enough. “You have shown courage with every action you have taken so far, your actions have saved the lives of many of your crew, every time you have been threatened you acted not just to protect yourself but others as well. You attempted to contend with beings many times your size without even thinking about it, all in the effort to protect others, and this is only in the time we have known you, this speaks nothing of your actions over the colony. You are a warrior of admirable courage Captain Farva, your self doubt is unearned.”
A single tear rolled down Farva’s eyes which she quickly wiped away. “That was very nice of you to say, but I'm not brave like you say, I was terrified out of my mind the whole time.”
Teal’c looked puzzled. “I did not call you brave, I said you were courageous.”
Farva shot back with the little venlil one up one down ear flick I had very quickly learned was confusion.” I'm confused you just said brave twice”
“Hmm it appears your language does not contain the word I am using, I apologize I am not used to speaking through a translator” Teal’c relented “ There are two words I am using admittedly in slightly different forms, bravery and courage. Bravery or to be brave is to lack fear, to not be afraid to begin with. Courage tho, Is a trait far more admirable. Courage is to be afraid, to have fear, to worry about one's own mortality and personal safety. It is to acknowledge risk, danger, to feel fear, but to act in spite of it.”
“Had I not met your kind before I would have thought predators don't feel fear.”
“Everyone fears feel Farva, It is how we overcome it that determines our worth as warriors”
Teal’c picks up the p90 and returns it to Farvas hands.
“Your people need a warrior Farva, a warrior who protects the innocent and guides the lost to safety. You have shown how collected you can be in the heat of battle, You have already proven your worth in our eyes Farva, now you must do the same in your own. The greatest enemy lies not without” Teal’c places his hand firmly on the venlil’s chest “But within”.
After Action Report - Venlil Colonial Defense Force
Subject : Chief Engineer Donu
I fiddled with my holopad, Its small surface area proving to be a consistent source of annoyance in my current endeavor. Gone was the large workspace afforded to me by my holotable back in my office. Instead I had to work with the scaled down portable holotablet I was just fortunate enough to have strapped to my person when I was beamed away from our last ship. I was stuck with its smaller keyboard and slower rendering speeds.
An annoyed smooth skin alien looked over my shoulder at my device, attached to it was a jury rigged fiber optic cable, slotted into a terran silicon to crystal patch cable, which would convert the electrical signals broadcasted by my tablet into a bandwidth that the terrans crystalline based computers; which they used for highly complex tasks like hyperdrive and transporter systems; could use, and then It was patched again in a even stranger connector to patch into the odd asgard computer stones.
All in all it looked like someone tried to plug a regular computer into some crystal construct like you would find in a fantasy holonovel, and again plugged that into a harchen heat rock sauna lounge. Finally branching out from this conglomeration was a simple copper based wire that connects to a computer terminal at which currently sat the late Doctor Rodney Mckay. A title upon initially hearing led me to believe he was a medical doctor, which led to a flurry of medical questions that he had absolutely no means of answering.
While this odd alien nomenclature was interesting, what intrigued me more was his actual area of expertise, theoretical astrophysics, as well as a number of other diverse specialties and fields. Not to mention not only was he a great scientist who had he been raised in the more civilized portion of this galaxy, would have knowledge and aptitude that would put him alongside some of Aafas greatest minds, but he was also an engineer without peer, at least in this galaxy. His interactions with general Samantha Carter hinted at her possibly being his match if not more. For a species that was supposed to glorify violence the decision to have a scientist be arguably the most senior member of what was by their admission a military vessel spoke to their commitment to knowledge and understanding, a very noble prey-like goal.
I looked warily at the lines of code at my screen, the asguard translation program had earlier scanned our ship and was able to parse written languages, but complex files, like images and 3d design schematics were harder to encode and decode from our perspective systems. As is stands we have 3 completely separate computer architectures, the asguard can talk to human computers and the venlil computers can talk to the asguard computers, It sounds like we would have everything we need to get a human C.A.D schematic into a venlil holotablet right? Wrong! And you're stupid for entertaining such a idiotic notion! Parsing text from raw binary is relatively straight forward, you're just looking for patterns, repeating bit combinations that might infer letters and then iterating them over millions of times looking for patterns, letters, words, and then with a bit of help from some undecoded analog audio transmission, spoken language. This is a far cry from actual procedural communication protocols,the ones that allow for file transfers, exactly what we needed if we were to get Rodney's redesigned part schematics into a format and medium that can be plugged into a suitable fabricator. Assuming one still exists, which I can reasonably assume it does.
Speaking of which, I have just made something of a breakthrough. For upon my screen appears a simple geometric hydrogen cube, we’re talking vertices, planes, material data, everything we need for a usable design file.
I let out an excited pent up yip, the culmination of hours of frustrating software integration work. Unfortunately I startled Rodney, who lets out a panicked gasp and clutches his chest pelts with one of his paws.
“Oh god…..” He gasps, pointing at me “Please.. don’t do that”
“Sorry!” I say a bit meekly. I slowly approach him so as to not make him unnecessarily uncomfortable and show him my work.
“I got the file exchange set up, all we need from you is to finish any modifications to your part, upload them to my holopad, and then we can print away at any class 3 or above fabricator we can scrounge up on Brayga colony.”
“Ok.. um.. got it, I'm almost done i’m just you know” He points a lone grasping appendage at his screen,”Running some simulations, making sure everything is up to spec.” keeping his response kurt. “Sorry for freaking out there.”
I nod my head in the human display of affirmation and return to my workstation to further bug check my work, to test potentially problematic edge cases for when he finishes. Tho Rodney's continued odd behavior intruded on my thoughts.
I should have felt empowered, being able to intimidate this ‘massive beast’, but I didn't. I didn't like being feared, his people have been nice to me, Rodney himself courteous to a fault and desperate for positive attention.
I thought I could expect predators to be fearless but that clearly wasn't the case, rodney was fearful, nervous, had I not known better I would say defective, and while it annoyed his crew, they didn't berate him for it, or attempt to assert dominance, they encouraged it even with placating words and tried to help him through it, they encouraged and supported him like a proper herd, even if sometimes it took the form of what the human would call a playful ribbing. I supposed I could help him as well.
I approached him again, careful to make my approach known to him, making sure to approach from within his limited field of vision. He looks up at me with a wide eyed glare, had I not known him I might have assumed it was hunger, but I did and knew it to be concern.
“Uh high Donu.. um whats up?”
“Why are you afraid of us rodney?”
“Wa-What, me afraid?” he gives out a panicked laugh ”uh no no, I'm not afraid, you know just a bit weirded out I'm just getting used to you all, it's not a fear thing it's a a…. Just getting used to new aliens thing, ask Hermirod we went through this whole song and dance right buddy”
Hermirod furrowed his brow and gave an irritated sigh from across the room.
I reached out to take Rodney by the paw.
His whole body flinched at my mere touch, I quickly withdrew my paw.
“Oh.. um.. I didn't…”
“Rodney! It's okay, your crew doesn’t seem to care when you show fear, and neither do I. Why are you afraid of us? You are almost twice our size and surely double our strength, most venlil would scream and run in terror at the mere sight of you. What's wrong?”
Rodney let out a sigh. “Oh its, we don't have to talk about this, I can deal with this, I deal with scary situations all the time, it's fine, I'll be fine.”
“Rodney, my people are a very emotional, empathic people, we are open with our feelings and with our fear, and the fear of the one can affect the herd, please let me help you. I don’t know what to expect from your society but I promise I wont judge you for your fear or emotions, I mean look at many of my crew mates, we are no one to judge”
Rodney shot back “You didn't seem to be so bothered”
“I’m too old to care, I was about to retire, hell I was about to die as far as I knew, Brayga colony was supposed to be a quiet place to lay back, work on some hobbies, plant a garden and pester the young men of my colony until I either dropped dead of boredom or got lucky” I joked.
That seemed to raise Rodney's mood somewhat. He sighed and seemingly relented.
“It’s… a dumb story, I don't even know why it affected me so much, I come from a place on earth called Canada, people don't usually believe me when I say I am from there, us Canadians are notoriously friendly and I guess I haven’t exactly filled that mold for a lot of my life, but hey I'm working on it, people like me, I have lots of friends back at Atlantis” He says the last sentence in a way as if it isn't me he's trying to convince.
“I'm sure you do, Rodney, You seem like quite the charming individual when you're not cowering!”
“Ha ha thanks, maybe you could come and visit sometime. Tell that to doctor Becket, really nice guy, smart man, he would love to meet you, he loves investigating new species. But back on topic, oh boy, so me and my sister Jeannie were on a family trip to rural Vancouver to visit my grandpa's farm, he kept a lot of goats, not for eating or anything, they were essentially pets that he would use for milk”
“Wait hold on? You drink milk from other animals! Do your females not produce enough milk for their young?”
“Oh um no, we just sort of drink it or ferment it into cheese!”
“Ferment? You mean spoil?
“Yeh”
I reeled from this plasma blast of a statement, I like any right minded venlil had a number of nightmares about being an arxur’s cattle before, especially when I first learned about those things in primary school, but never once had it crossed my mind that we could be used for something so weird. What the speh was I supposed to do with that information?
“Maybe you should get back on topic”
“Yeh sorry about that uh.. Anyways the momma goat had just had a litter of babies, and their real cute when their little, so late in the day when my grandpa was asleep we snuck out to the pens so we can play with the little baby goats, our grandpa told us not to but you now how kids are.”
At this I think back to a young Nyan, as I teach him the inner working of the hyperdrive, I tell him he’s not cleared yet to operate in this engine compartment alone, but I could tell from the occasional caught black hairs and dropped writing implements, there had been a number of curious unauthorized expeditions into its inner workings, he didn't really listen either.
“My sister as always was trying to be the voice of reason, wanting to take it slow. If I was paying attention I might have noticed the angry moma goat who didn’t appreciate the strange human messing with her children.”
The color seemed to drain from his face.
“I uh…” He began to stutter again ”I screamed, a lot, it was rather undignified, she ran right at me, thank god it wasn't a male goat, one with horns, I tired to run but I was hit in the back and knocked over and kicked real good in the head, like wake up in the vet clinic a quarter mile down the road kind of bad”
“This goat was a prey animal?”
“That would be what your kind focuses on”
“Oh sorry”
“Anyways It seems dumb but I have just never been good with animals since then, especially ones that look like you; no offense; I'm getting better but when I first saw you guys in the hangar bay, I was just that dumb kid again, getting in way over my head, scared for my life. I guess there is something to be said about childhood trauma. I really should be over this, I'm getting better with it I swear it’s just”
I take his paw again, he doesn't flinch this time.
“I'm a venlil, a prey animal, I know fear, I know what it is to live in fear, It rattles your brain, it turns your paws to wet grains. It takes great strength to overcome it, to push it aside just long enough to protect the herd. Your herd relies on you Rodney and you are doing a great job in spite of your fear, in spite of having to work with those you fear. You have achieved intellectual feats that rival the greatest minds of the federation and all that while struggling with a traumatic experience. Fear isn’t dumb and there is nothing wrong with you for feeling it.”
“Thank you” Rodney says “That means a lot, I won't be like forever I promise, I just need some time.”
“We will laugh about this someday,” I assured. “Nothing as big and intelligent as you should be afraid of anything”
“Are you calling me fat?” Rodney exclaimed with fake offense.
We both chuckled.
My kind words had resulted in a more upright posture, and a more cheerful demeanor from the human, almost like when I congratulated Nyan on his work, and it got me a look at that happy snarl of his, that I was starting to grow quite fond of.
After Action Report - Venlil Colonial Defense Force
Subject : Apprentice Engineer Nyan
Oh wow! I get to write a report for this mission! I never get to write reports, Donu says they're too boring, but there’s so many interesting things going on all the time. Sometimes I sneakily write my own! Just for fun of course, nobody sees them, which is probably for the best as I sometimes get excited and embellish them slightly. One of the reports I wrote was about the time Donu used nothing but a wad of electrical tape, a bottle of high grain venlil alcohol and a pocket knife to repair a venlil medical ship just in time to get out of the way of a big scary space predator, with glowing red eyes and a million tentacles!
Anyways Im not sure If im suppose to write these In present tense first person or past tense. I asked the captain and she said it's whatever so long as I make sure any pertinent dialogues are properly quoted(“”).
“Nobody usually reads these things anyways.” She said, but this one is surely going to be so exciting, who could look away!
I mean who's gonna scoff at a chance to read about friendly predators from another dimension! A dimension of friendly predators who give warm head scratches and hand out yummy strayu not strayu treats called donuts, that are somehow fluffier than strayu, and have a nice moisture to them. I asked for the recipe but Samantha said we wouldn't have the ingredients back on Venili prime to make them, and Teal'c said the recipe is an old family secret. Its weird predators would be so protective of their plant snacks.
There are so many weird things about these predators, they have nurturing instincts that make them find us cute. They stay perfectly balanced even if they don’t have tails, swinging their arms and body all over the place to keep upright like a lopsided gyroscope, it's pretty funny looking!
They also wear artificial pelts all the time, which I thought was weird, I thought maybe the ships temperature was set by the angry gray alien since he’s the only crew member beside the venlil who walks around naked all the time, maybe he had a fit when it was to warm, and the humans obliged him cause they were worried they would make him even angrier, and wore clothes to make up for the cold. I thought this made sense, a lot of their technology does seem to come from the Asguard, maybe he has more say in the goings on of the ship because of that. But apparently humans just like wearing pelts all the time. They feel uncomfortable without them and don’t like it if you try to remove them or look up their upper artificial pelts they call shirts.
The humans are so weird, I don’t even have to embellish my reports to make it more interesting. Like that time with the big tentacled space predator. That may sound real compared to this stuff but it Isn't, Ha! I bet you fell for it at first, hook line and sinker! Like the humans would say. I think I used that saying right, I'm not sure what it means, but Shepard brought it up when he was telling a story about the wraith.
The humans are so nice, instead of exterminating their predators they try to cure them! Their doctors are working to modify the wraith so they don't have to eat humans anymore, so they can be friendly predators too.
Anyways I should probably get to the actual report part of this report. Farva says I should start after I went off with Samantha to work on some special astrophysics equations she said I would be good at. I kind of wanted to go with Donu to help Rodney get the new parts they needed, or Farva to help rescue our people, but the humans and even the angry gray alien got really weird when Farva mentioned taking me on the mission. Samantha seemed to want me to help her really badly so I didn’t mind. Samantha says I have the most important part to our mission. She's teaching me about how humans communicate through subspace, and about stellar drift equations. We are working on what she calls the exit strategy.