To preface this, writing this post has made me realize that this is probably my anxiety/hypochondriasis, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to post it just in case.
19F, 5'8" and 124lb. For the past 3ish years I have had my hands be red and sometimes dry. They are almost always red, but the dryness comes and goes every couple of months. Part of the reason I'm asking here is because I am a hypochondriac and I think it'll help to get some other opinions. Pictures: https://ibb.co/album/pj7xrC For the sake of clarity, I'm going to use bullet points for the details.

• My hands have been red on and off for the past 3 or so years, probably starting about 6 months after I started my first job at a small grocery store. The intensity of the redness is worse some times than others, and lately it's been more consistently red.
• I've had been having dryness (sometimes to the point of cracking) usually focused on my knuckles throughout this time, but it doesn't seem to be correlated to the redness.
• The redness is on the back of my hands, and it stops right at the wrist. Never itchy, no pain, burning, or swelling. When it's milder it tends to be more on the knuckles. There isn't any kind of texture changes in the skin unless it's dry.
• I am a hypochondriac, so I have in the past washed my hands more than necessary, especially when I first started working. That being said, there are times when I am washing them a lot without the redness and times I'm washing them as little as possible and they'd still be red.
• I also have an eating disorder (ARFID) that restricts my diet (some times more than others), so I might have a couple of vitamin/micronutrient deficiencies that may be playing a part in it. I haven't noticed a correlation between the eating and the hands, but I also have not been watching for it.
• I had a couple of months late 2021/early 2022 where I experienced Raynaud's phenomenon almost every time I went on my break. It still happens occasionally, but not nearly as much as it did. It never happened when my hands themselves were cold (like when stocking the freezer), but if I was sitting in the back for twenty minutes and drank a bottle of chocolate milk they would.
• My mom used to be a nurse and has kept up her nursing license, so we've looked into a couple of things. At first we tried moisturizing, but it didn't seem to help. She thinks/thought it's either from the not eating properly or an allergy to something in hand soap.
• While my hands haven't been too dry so far this year, the redness has been more intense and consistent so I started looking into it again, particularly into irritant and allergic contact dermatitis. When my mom had brought it up and when I had researched it previously, I dismissed it as a possibility since all I had was redness without itching or pain. When I was researching it again several weeks ago, one of the treatments listed was an oral antihistamine. Since my mom and sister have to take generic Zyrtec for seasonal allergies, I decided to see if that would help and within three days most of the redness went away. Based on this, it seems likely that it is just contact dermatitis and my anxiety is just blowing it out of proportion.
• I guess the reason why it still bothers me is because sometimes the knuckles will be red one minute then normal the next, which only really happens at night. The last two photos in the link are to show that. I have also noticed that my hands, feet, and kneecaps tend to be colder than the rest of my body and that even small cuts on my extremities usually take a week or so to heal, so it's likely that it has to do with having poor circulation/anemia.
• In case it's important, I started taking generic Adderall last fall (ADHD). I also started taking Lamotrigine (Bipolar II) during winter break. Everything I've described above happened before I started these medications and I haven't noticed a change since I've started them.

5-15 ugs is like the cleanest Adderall one could take, straight energy mixed with the slightest color differences, barely noticeable but noticeable with a massive uplift in mood and well being.
15-30 ugs is seeing slight crawling in visuals around you, slight breathing on everything, colors are way more apparent and defined, slight euphoria with slight anxiety. Your mood is elevated and feeling of bliss and nervousness come hand in hand. The wish you took more dose
30-50 ugs is what we call rubbing the fur wall, everything you touch is super sensitive, your 5 senses are hightened to the T, you can smell the crisp air, eating an orange is orgasmic, visuals are pouring out like water but not insanely intense because there is only so much depth at that dose.
50-75 ugs is straight body euphoria, it's as if you maybe took .2 of some MDMA, and the visuals are so pronounced that they start forming into a story line, and the music sounds like warm chocolate rubbing against smooth butter. It's perfection. The get up and dance dose. The music becomes a movie 🎦
75-100 ugs is straight visuals to where your imagination start to become your environment, start to lose sense of identity, at this dose all you can do and is be thankful, this dose is the lay around and feel amazing. Closed eye visuals will also become your environment as well, visuals will be pouring on everything as you spilled water.
100-125 ugs is you meeting yourself with an entity, also at this dose you become very forgetful, you start to lose all sense of self and your environment. This is the anxiety fueled dose but some breath always helps. Your sight is drenched in everything visuals have to offer. Your body is an orgasm, feel beyond light like air.
125-150 ugs is straight ego delusions, ego illusions, this is where things become unimaginable, unexplainable. You start teleporting in and out of reality. Reality is shattered and this is where all you can do is lay and be.
150-200 ugs is ego death territory. your hopping from one thought to another but your actually living that thought. That thought becomes your world. Visuals are more your imagination at this point. You become lucid, anything you think will become. This dose is for your experienced trippers. Also you won't recognize anything around you. You will be clueless to what your engulfed in.
That's my best to knowledge with doses and precise tabs throughout my decade with LSD. People forget that LSD is beyond potent molecule and super precise at these dosages.

Today got me thinking about how irregularly I eat, and how it seems that I have a very strong tendency to consume sweet things, and, in fact, I've been told multiple times that my sodium is low, maybe correlated, maybe not.
I sat down at my desk today to start on a paper that I need to write, and I got a small bowl and filled it with dark chocolate dusted almonds, a semi-healthier, and tastier, version of chocolate dipped almonds, to snack on while I work, in an effort to give my brain a bit of a boost. However, I opened my doc, and wrote a paragraph, then went to grab another almond and realized I had already eaten them all. I couldn't have been working for more than 20 minutes, and, I wasn't ever hungry.
I find it's the same result if I begin to work and I grab a can of green tea to sip on. I don't "sip" I GULP. But also, I'm on adderall, and can hardly make myself eat healthier foods sometimes. I really exsist on the aforementioned almonds, which do have sugar on them, carbohydrates, and broccoli (simply because for some reason broccoli is a "safe food"). I was wondering if anyone else expirances this, and what they do to combat it, because, it feels like I have the hardest time living a healthy lifestyle, and I expirance weight fluctuations that are ~20 up or down, within, often a 6 month time period.
Also, like currently, I recognize that I should be working on that paper, but I for some reason thought it would be beneficial to first rant about my almond consumption 9n reddit.
(I take 25mg of Adderall if that helps.)

It’s been a while, like a couple years while, but the last two-three ish months my body has been in full fight or flight mode with an over active nervous system. Feeling like I’m being chased by a pack of wolves with pitchforks, 15/10 I know that’s not what’s happening. Four years in.
My average heart rate is in the 90s, resting. It goes to about 115-120 after eating (eating low/no histamine, only well tolerated foods, nothing preserved, nuts are snacks and cut out all sugar other than honey and sometimes the darkest chocolate I can find.) And everything is stressing me out. Like, I am stressing myself out at this point.
I regularly: Journal Meditate Draw/paint/create - my hobby that I finally found my creative spark again Listen to music Listen to healing frequencies Breathwork Stay hydrated Gratitude journal Open the curtains to get sun if I can’t go outside Aromatherapy / candles Self care eg. face masks, nails, skin care Grounding mat for when I can’t go outside Shake/move my body as often as I can, even if it’s not much Vagus nerve stimulation Somatic exercises Prqctice mindfulness Positive self talk Jigsaw puzzles Sudoku Wordle Good hygiene Take breaks between tasks Working on past traumas/wounds (apparently lost all the previous progress I had made) when activated- I read somewhere when you’re triggered and can identify the core wound you have six hours to reframe/renegotiate your response
It’s to the point where my days have been consumed by trying to soothe my nervous system again to not be in a panic consistently and working myself up to eating is rough every day because I know what comes after.
Supplements: Staying hydrated with electrolytes - I use BioSteel, best one I’ve found for me yet (and most cost effective) Psyllium husk powder L-glutamine Pre/probiotic Monolaurin Kava extract
I was taking a boat load more but I cut everything out to make sure there wasn’t anything that was making my symptoms worse and haven’t noticed that they were making any difference a month out from stopping.
Medications: Adderall - 20mg Celoxib - 100mg Omeprozole - 20mg Propranolol - 40mg Cromolyn sodium - 200ul x4 Low Dose Naltrexone - 2mg Emgality injections - migraines Botox injections - migraines Nerve blocker injections - migraines Ativan - 1mg as needed.**
I feel like I’m just maintaining a full cup of stress and a single drop over sent me into a four hour balling session the other day until 30 minutes after I finally reached for my Ativan, Kava isn’t strong enough.
** I know when taking full doses of Naltrexone you shouldn’t take Ativan, so I’m really trying to avoid taking it, but it’s the only thing I’ve found that helps me, I have severe negative reactions to SSRI/SNRIS- I think that’s what got me here honestly, or reinfection in December. But also hoping there may be a less potentially harmful solution out there.
Anywho, if you made it this far, thank you, have you found success with anything I’m missing?

Hey there!
I’m a 28 year old female, 16 months postpartum.
I have lean PCOS, currently with a 7CM ovarian cyst on my left ovary.
I was prescribed adderall for ADHD and took it as prescribed. Due to some possibly related, possibly unrelated heart episodes I’ve been off medication for 1.5 months. I had only been on it for about 6 months total at 25mg.
The cyst happened during this time. I also experienced extremely long heavy “periods” that landed me in the hospital with no answers. After going off the meds this stopped. The bleeding didn’t actually appear to be period blood consistency, it was like the blood when you get a cut on your body (in colour and consistency). Very, very heavy flow. No period symptoms strangely. Mostly happened after sex. Lasted 21 days at its worst and stopped after going off adderal for a few days.
I’ve never been an anxious person but am now struggling to function. Anxiety started early postpartum and has continued. I now feel depressed and I am not enjoying life. (I am not a threat to myself). I want answers and am willing to take daily positive action.
My diet is okay, but I do consume a lot of sugar too in the form of candy and chocolate.
I am 5’7 and 150lbs. I personally think I look “skinny fat” especially in my midsection.
My muscle mass seems low now postpartum. My creatinine levels are borderline low at 48 umol/L Standard Range 49 - 84 umol/L
My platelets have been slightly elevated for months. 430 x109/L Standard Range 130 - 380 x109/L
Most recent CBC shows elevated WBC 14.1 x109 /L Standard Range 3.5 - 10.5 x109 /L
I had a positive +1 protein result on a recent urine test. No usual UTI symptoms.
I’ve had a slight dull pain in my mid back, sometimes more on my left side. With absolutely horrible random pains there too sometimes. Mid back. It feels like I’m being tased or something. Horrible sharp pain. I can’t move, bend, or pick anything up when it’s happening. It’s random and has been happening on and off for a couple weeks. It doesn’t feel like a muscle thing. I’m worried it’s my kidneys.
Most recent ECG shows “Sinus Rhythm with Occasional premature Ventricular complexes and Fusion complexes with ventricular escape complexes.”
This ECG was taken after a trip to the hospital. My heart went crazy, it felt like a frog in my chest and throat. It calmed down by the time I had this ECG but the initial episode really scared me.
On top of this - I am SO fatigued I can’t properly function sometimes. I feel too tired to speak, interact, or move and do basics. 0 energy all day. Not every day, but many days. Intense sugar cravings, I’ve never met anyone with my level of sugar cravings. Mood swings.
What could possibly be going on? Could all of this be stress related, or PCOS related?
My PCOS hormone panel came back with normal non PCOS results for the first time since 2010. My electrolytes are within normal range. My blood sugar levels are within normal range (I did have gestational diabetes while pregnant but it resolved).
What might I suggest my doctor test for, if she doesn’t suggest it first? I’m new to her care and seeing her in about 10 hours from now.
Thanks!

I am looking to lose some weight. I am 220 lbs, however, i do not think that I look it, rather more like 170-190. I have a lot of muscle mass and it’s always been very difficult for me to reconcile how i look with what i weigh (i definitely have fat/weight to lose). I have several other co-morbidities including: IBS-D, EDS, and possibly POTS (though i think we are calling it inappropriate sinus tachycardia until i stop responding to beta blockers). The EDS comes with exercise restrictions like no high impact exercise, running, etc.
I will be the first to admit i eat like shit right now. I am a very picky eater, though i have tried and liked more things since i started dating my boyfriend (3 years). I don’t like a lot of fruit/vegetables because of the texture. I will only voluntarily eat green beans and bananas; i’ll try to pick something different but can only get a few bites in before i’m turned off by the texture. I used to like spinach in high school and have tried recently to start eating that again but i just can’t do it.
I don’t actually eat a lot or consume a lot of calories. Typically I will have a 1% chocolate milk (maybe 6 oz) and half of the belvita crunchy (comes w 4 biscuits) for breakfast, if i eat lunch it is usually a small snack like protein bar or fig newton (my faves), and dinner is typically chicken/beef with green beans/mashed potatoes or we will do tacos/nachos/spaghetti occasionally. My portions are small, i eat more protein than anything. I won’t lie that i often skip dinner because i’m nauseous or not hungry. I used to snack a lot but recently have cut back abt 90%, maybe 2 treats a week. On average I consume about 1300-1500 cals a day.
My A1C actually dropped this year from 5.1 in 2022 to 4.8 in 2023 (december). I’ll note that i fluctuate between 205-225, being on the higher end the last couple of years. I have tried metformin for 5 months with no results & wasn’t worth it w my IBS. I am NOT looking for GLP-1 agonists (mounjaro, wegovy, zepbound, etc), but would be willing to try other medications.
Ultimately, i know my diet needs to change and i need to exercise more. I am moving in June and would like to have some set meals that are weight loss/pcos friendly before i move so i know what works for me and wht i like.
Where should i look and where do i start? I’d love to hear your guys advice.
ETA: the meds i am on right now every day: OCP, kyleena IUD, spironolactone, adderall, qulipta, rifampin (latent TB lol), probiotic, nortriptyline (low dose for ibs)
PRN meds: dicyclomine, prochlorperazine, cyclobenzaprine, norco (just had surgery)

Hi Neighbors!
I’m back again with another Greensboro food guide. In this episode we dive into what I know/do best:

Brunch.

Greensboro has lots of options for brunch and I’ve made it my duty to visit several of them again. Below you can find sage advice on where you should be spending your hard earned brunch bucks. I’ll restate some of my credentials for those who missed my riveting editorial on the Cookouts in town (LINK).
I have been a local kitchen laborer for almost twenty years. I was the head chef at the Iron Hen for 5 years and have managed several other restaurants in the Triad. I have spent thousands of hours flipping eggs and pancakes for the fine folks of my favorite town. I know good brunch eats. Pinky promise I do.
Just a warning, this is a lot longer than my Cookout rundown, It's called reading! Top to bottom, left to right... a group of words together is called a sentence. Take Tylenol for any headaches...Midol for any cramps.
There’s so much I love about brunch therefore there’s so much I have to say. I took this more seriously than my quick takes on Cookouts, because well, I felt like it and you guys deserve the best dammit!
It’s going to take a bit to read all this, but you will finish more well-equipped for brunch life here in Gate City. If you don’t want to read it all, check the comments for my ranked list, but c'mon, what else do you have to do? Work? Yeah right.

Metrics

These things are what makes or breaks a brunch for me. They might not be for you, but hey, I’m the one writing this.

• Coffee- you can’t buy happiness, but you can buy coffee and that’s pretty close.
• Cocktails -I don’t drink much anymore, but booze and brunch go together like…bacon and eggs. I’ll check out the selection/ if they have bottomless mimosas for you and the gals.
• Bacon- Straight up, If you run a brunch spot and don’t serve up good bacon, prepare to be on the receiving end of my wrath.
• Eggs- So simple, yet so easy to ruin. As someone who’s scrambled more eggs than most I think it only fair for me to be critical of them.
• Avocado toast - It’s trendy for a reason. When done well, it’s freaking tasty and I want you to know where to get the best one in town (spoiler alert: Chez Genese)
• A potato product- The great debate. Hash browns vs home fries. I don’t care which one ya like more, but a brunch spot better be doing these right.
• Ambiance- Brunch isn’t just a meal, it's an idea. And that idea starts with how your guests feel from the moment they walk into the door.
• Speed/Accuracy-I’ve made it a point to visit all these spots during busy brunch hours. Nobody cares if you can make a good omelet when the restaurant is half empty. This is a pressure test. You are only as good as your worst plate so if they can’t hang when the tickets are stacked up and the servers are slammed, then they can’t hang in my book.

Best of luck to all these unknowing participants and may God have mercy on their egg pans.

Green Valley Grille

Our journey begins with the oldest relic in the Quaintance-Weaver pyramid. I have to be honest. This was one of the worst brunch meals I've eaten in town as well as one of the most expensive. I cannot recommend it less. I usually enjoy their dinner aside from it being a bit stodgy and outdated. It looked really cool in here 22 years ago. This is definitely your rich great aunt’s favorite spot in town.
The service is always solid here. They definitely train their waitstaff well but it seems like they discourage their staff to have much personality. It’s giving butler vibes which is fine I guess if you’re into that sorta thing. They have a full bar and the coffee was decent. That being said, their brunch is garbo. My poached eggs were cold and I had like 1 oz of ham on my benny and the hollandaise was super bland. It was a really really botched benedict. The scrambies were overcooked on their breakfast plate and my home fries were cooked 15 minutes ago– cold, super mushy and real plain. We had their vanilla scores with lemon curd which was the highlight of the meal, specifically the curd; bright and tangy. We tried their coffee cakes as well which were decent too, but very sweet. Nobody in my party of five was pleased with their meal and I won’t make the mistake of going to GVG before sundown again.
Score - 3.4/10 Never go eat here for brunch. Like seriously, go anywhere else. Go to Waffle house.

Median Entree Price + 20% tip: $14.22+2.84 = $17.06 

Lucky 32

Lucky’s brings a slightly more contemporary vibe to the Quaintance-Weaver “family.” I’ve never been really keen on the organization. I dunno why, I have a sneaky suspicion it's actually a front for an affluent brood of vampires. Blood money, but like…literally? I find it less stuffy than GVG and the brunch was more enjoyable. It’s still a little behind the times but we’ve stepped from 1989 to 2001. An instrumental version of The Backstreet Boys’ hit album, "Millenium” played as we dined (not really.) They take reservations which is a plus and they had us seated immediately. Shout out to the service staff. Attentive and friendly and not overly robotic.
They have a full bar available, but no mention of mimosa specials. The coffee is Counter Culture, which I usually like, but not the batch they served today – Bleghh.
We tried their green tomato benedict. The poached eggs were on point and the tomatoes were nice, however somebody toasted my English muffin twice…yesterday. Literally uncuttable with a knife. I gnawed on it like a hamster but gave up on it quickly. An okay dish overall, but it lacked salt and was really acidic. Next we went for their avocado toast with scrambled eggs. It was mediocre. The avocado was definitely from a pouch and there wasn’t much of it. The pickled onions set it off, but the eggs were way overcooked. The rest of it was sorta forgettable.
We also had the banana french toast which was my favorite dish of the meal. Cooked nicely, sweet but not sickeningly so. I’d get it again for sure.
We also had a side of bacon which was on point. Their biscuits were buttery and Cracker-Barrel-esque, but honestly I think I like CB’s better. I did not like their home fries. They were crispy enough but just doused in seasoned salt. They really reminded me of one’s from the freezer section.
Last note-worthy item was their side of fruit…How dare they. Sad chunks of cantaloupe and honeydew, which they know everyone hates…like seriously can we just stop growing these awful balls of chemical water already? They tossed a bit of pineapple in there but that was it. They could have saved labor costs by just dumping the fruit straight off the truck into the trash, cuz that’s where it’s all gonna end up anyways. Yuck.
Score: 6.3/10 - Your mom and her sisters would probably love going here for a birthday brunch and the rest of you will leave full and relatively pleased…unless you get a side of fruit or yesterday’s English muffin.

Median Entree Price + 20% tip: $14.88+2.98=$17.86 

Print Works Bistro

In full transparency I was sorta hoping this one missed the mark so I could lop off the final head of Quaintance Weaver’s Hell-hound and by doing so free all of the tortured souls trapped for eternity in a depression dungeon of sorrow beneath the QW hotels. “You can check-out anytime you like, but you can never leave...” I charged through their doors, fork in one hand, sense of disdain for the ruling class in the other only to be begrudgingly disarmed by an overall excellent brunch.
Print Works cultivates a picturesque southern brunch ambiance. A neutral color palette with tall ceilings, decorated tastefully. Natural light pours through all of the windows as delicate music sets an uplifting mood. You’ve stepped off of Green Valley Road and into an expansive Savannah solarium…I do declare. They boast a dining area seating nearly 200 with a charming patio for fair weather dining. The room is alive with the clinking of silver on flatware and the ambient buzz of happy conversation. Yet is spacious enough to allow for a sense of intimacy at each table.
We were seated immediately with our reservation. The service manager wasn’t the friendliest. A cross-looking woman; she sharply peppered orders at a nearby server, prompting him to hustle over and lead us to our seats. QW couldn’t help but remind us all that we live in a social hierarchy and that while all animals are equal; some animals are more equal than others…the servers are dressed as penguins and trained to hop-to when the boss blows her whistle. Oppressive social constructs aside, our server was well versed in the menu and was always around when needed, but never hovering.
They offer a full-bar and have a large cocktail and wine list. The coffee was bold and tasty from Revolution coffee out of Raleigh.
Today, we started with an order of their warm beignets; choux pastry filled with pastry cream, fried to order and then dusted with powdered sugar; served with honey or chocolate sauce. We opted for honey. They were quite tasty and the portion was large. I did feel that they were a bit too sweet and would have gone from good to amazing with some lemon zest or curd to balance it out.
For our entrees; the avocado toast. Overall a yummy dish. The thickly sliced sourdough was flavorful and soft, but I felt it needed a bit more toasting. It left the dish feeling a bit squishy. The toast was topped with a lemony avocado spread, bits of bacon, and poached egg. It was served with a side of yogurt and fruit, which was simple but tasty. We also had their eggs benedict; well executed. I felt the hollandaise needed a bit more lemon, but now I'm nit-picking; we cleaned the plate. We also had a side of bacon, which was spot-on and their home fries were neatly diced, crisped perfectly and had some yummy caramelized onions mixed in.
Score - 9.0/10 - This was a really good brunch. Refined, yet inviting ambiance, tasty food and a chance for the bourgeoisie to get a taste of aristocracy without breaking the bank. Well-played, QW Illuminati. You win this round.

Median Entree Price + 20% tip: $15.38+$3.07 = $18.45 

The Sage Mule

I sorta like The Sage Mule. It kinda reminds me of The Iron Hen in its glory days, before its evil owner sucked the soul out of it and ran it into the ground. I’ve been a handful of times. Often it's yummy, sometimes they miss the mark, but overall a solid, local brunch place that matches the Greensboro vibe well.
They have good coffee and lattes made with Counter Culture beans out of Durham. They give you a lil biscotti with them which is a nice nibble while you wait for your mains(and sometimes you’re gonna be waiting a min.) They’re drink menu looks decent too and they have a full liquor license if you’re trying to get wavy on a Sunday morning.
Most recently we had their biscuits and gravy which my wife is a big fan of. It’s not a pretty pile of food, but it makes up for it in flavor. The biscuits are on point and the gravy is dang good too. Nice and peppery and not too thin. Good gravy should stick to your spoon. There’s crumbled Neese’s sausage and some yummy pimento cheese in there too. Good stuff. I like their “Midnight Train” which is a Nashville-style chicken sammy with home-made pickles on a yummy soft roll. I get this pretty much every time I’ve been to be honest. “Zac likes spicy chicken!” We also got their dutch baby and I’ve just gotta keep it real. It was real bad. Bordering on gross. I don’t be wasting food and I didn’t finish it. It was super dense and way too strong tasting of egg and not sweet at all. Maybe someone didn’t follow the recipe? I know another spot in town that makes one that is way better…ehem. Anyways. They’ve got classic diner-style hash browns that came out nice and crispy today. The kitchen gets backed up bad sometimes though. I’ve waited close to an hour for entrees before and then the servers get squirrely. The whole energy in there is sometimes chaotic which isn’t what I’m usually craving on a Sunday morning. Too much adderall? Not enough?
They’ve got a nice patio with ample seating which is great for fair-weather days, but I straight up hate how they’ve got the inside set up. The whole back left side of the building is weirdly empty and underutilized and the rest is a total clusterfuck. You walk in the door and surprise! You’ve just entered a mosh pit of hungry, hungover humans waiting for a table. Keep your head down, watch out for spin-kicks, and try to make it to the host station where you can put your name in. The wait gets long on the weekend so don’t come hungry or you wont make it out alive. You also can’t really get out of the chaos because they just shout your name out when you’ve been chosen. Now some of you may like having a panic attack in public first thing in the morning, but I prefer to have them alone in my bathroom in the evenings like a respectable adult. They do have some outdoor space to wait, just tuck and cover as you squeeze your way back outside. The ambiance when you sit outside is nice, but I really rather not eat inside at all.
Score-7.2/10 - It’s a solid place to grab brunch for sure. One I’d recommend everyone to try at least once. It's pretty hip and most everything I've had tastes pretty good. They definitely have good days and bad days so If you go, i hope you catch them on their A-game. If you are the type to wanna rip your shirt off and run screaming into the woods when surrounded by loud strangers like I am, maybe come through on a weekday.

Median Entree Price + 20% tip:$13.33+2.67=$16.00 

Chez Genese

Now obviously I can’t help but have the teeniest drop of bias since I work here, but I promise my goal in all of this wasn’t to convince you to come and eat (you should though.) I went and ate here in the middle of the brunch rush just like everywhere else and I’m holding us to the same standards. Also at the risk of sounding full of myself, I wouldn’t waste my time working at a place that I didn’t think was awesome.
The cafe is so welcoming. There are plants and pictures everywhere. There’s always nice music on, but not too loudly. The owner, whomever she is, knows how to create such an inviting space. It’s a smaller spot so waiting for a table can get a little crowded and loud. Thankfully you can just leave your phone number and they’ll text when your table is ready! Go walk around downtown while you wait! (seriously please don’t just stand in the doorway.)
Chez Genese gets their java from the local roaster, Fortuna which I love love love. Bold and nutty but not too bitter. The baristas make an amazing latte and all of the flavored syrups are made in-house and you can tell. Please get a lavender and honey latte next time you go. It’s gonna change your life I swear. They offer a curated mimosa menu which we saw were very popular and have recently gotten their liquor license for cocktails. They also have a great selection of hot teas from the local Vida pour tea. Try the “Chez Blend.” My wife buys it by the pound. I think she’s headed toward tea trafficking at this point.
Today we went for avocado toast, which is divine. Crispy, buttery multigrain toast topped with tons of fresh, sweet avocado and balanced by lots of tart feta cheese. You can get your eggs on top anyway you want. We got ‘em scrambled and they were so perfect and plentiful. Jacques Pepin would have wept tears of joy. Soft and creamy and seasoned just right. They finish it off with a healthy drizzle of honey and it's just so so good. We also got the cinnamon french toast with a side of bacon and fresh fruit. The french toast is killer. Three big pieces of brioche cooked just right with lovely notes of cinnamon and vanilla. It’s served with house-made spice butter and pure maple syrup. I made myself hungry writing about it just now. The bacon was cooked perfectly. They have the absolute best side of fruit in the city. It’s got all the good stuff: grapefruit, oranges, apples, blueberries, grapes, strawberries, blackberries, bananas…no mealy melons anywhere! They also offer amazing homemade rosemary biscuits that taste heavenly and rival Smith Street’s(RIP) in size.
Orders come out at a decent clip typically. Occasionally you’ll wait a bit longer for some entrees like the pizzas or the cocottes(a unique and decadent egg dish), but considering the size of the kitchen line, it’s never too bad. Plus it gives you an excuse to have an extra cup of coffee. I love that it’s an open kitchen model so you can see the chef’s working their magic back there. I swear the chef/owner is hiding an extra pair of arms by the way she stays on top of all her tickets…truly impressive.
Take all this yummy food and combine it with the amazing atmosphere and you’ve got the best brunch in town. I didn’t even mention their mission statement, which you can read on the back of the menu when you go next weekend, or the fact that they are totally non-tipping and the owner properly pays her staff well instead of making you do it for her.
Score: 9.4/10 - CG’s brunch game is on such a different level. The food is super fresh, tasty, and well-presented. The ambiance is amongst my favorite places in town. Just surround me with plants, pleasant music, and pancakes and I’m a happy guy.
I took points off for 1) the wait can sometimes be over an hour and you can’t make reservations 2) I don’t personally care for the vanilla creme fraiche as I find it makes my crepe soggy and 3) because I pricked my finger on one of the dried thistle in the beautiful flower arrangements on each table. I didn’t bleed or anything, but it did hurt a little…see, I told you I'm not biased.

Median Entree Price; non-tipping : $15.03 

Gia

This is your rich cousin’s favorite brunch place and for good reason. The girl’s got good taste. Gia presents an upscale but not stuffy experience; refined and elegant but unpretentious and welcoming. If you enjoy a nice cocktail this is your spot. Their bartender was in his element and we enjoyed watching him whip up one attractive drink after another. They boast a large, expertly crafted cocktail menu and as non-drinkers, were pleased by their selection of their “zero proof” cocktails as well. However I didn’t care for my americano at all. It was very bitter and bland. I asked where the beans were from and recently found out they are fortuna. They offer a pour-over that I’ll try instead next time.
Our server was friendly and polite as she took our orders and the kitchen had our entrees out in good time. We had the croque madame. Thin prosciutto and cheese in between sourdough topped with creamy bechamel and a sunny side egg. This dish tasted delicious. It needed an acidic element like a dijon…or maybe like a horseradish smear or something… yeah that sounds pretty tasty… anyways! They could've given me a bit more prosciutto for the price. Regardless, we enjoyed it thoroughly. We also had their spinach, marinara, and goat’s cheese Schiacciata…It’s a flatbread pizza, but Schiacciata looks much cooler on the menu. This dish was pretty tasty too. It needed salt and I wanted a spicy element as well. Still really yummy and the flatbread itself is really nice in flavor and texture.
We also had their scones and, for me, they were a miss. Gia also has biscuits on the menu. The main difference between a biscuit and a scone is that a scone usually has egg in the recipe. I’m pretty positive the only difference between them at Gia is that the scones are cut into triangles and the biscuits are circles. I would have liked to see some dried fruit or a glaze or something added to their scone recipe. They were very simple albeit baked well. They came with whipped butter, but it was unsalted and didn’t do much for the scones. We asked for some jam to liven them up a bit. The homemade jam they served was tasty, but it cost us $2 for a little ramiken of it. I already gave ya 6 bucks for two lil scones! Ya can’t hook me up with a little jelly? We were tempted to try their cinnamon rolls, but at the price point of $12 for two pretty small rolls I couldn’t justify it. Their fruit side was a nice mix of berries and garnished with a bit of basil. The basil was very complimentary and I'll be adding that little flavor combination to my mental recipe book. A neighboring table’s pesto potatoes looked awesome, but I skipped them today.
Score: 8.8/10 Overall we really enjoyed Gia. A great date spot or a place to bring your well-off out of town in laws that you want to impress. Lighter sized portions with elevated flavors and presentation. Random, but they could really use some houseplants in there. So much natural light but no plant babies to drink it in!

Median Entree Price + 20% tip: $17.83+3.57 = $21.40← this is a bit deceiving, they have two steak entrees priced at ($34 & $44) which skew the curve a bit. Those thrown out the median is closer to $17 

Rascal’s Tavern

Ya’ll, this one hurts to write. I really wanted it to be a good one. It’s local and it's female chef-owned. I've been for dinner a handful of times and always enjoyed the food…but this brunch was real bad. Everything missed the mark and I’m struggling to find nice things to write. I gotta keep it real though.
They do accept reservations and we were seated quickly. I do not like the decor here at all. It's a kinda clunky mashup of a speakeasy and a teen’s bedroom. The vibe’s just not right for me. We were met with a blackboard informing us that they used to have bottomless mimosas, but they are currently not offering them. The server let us know they were out of avocado toast and goat cheese. Okay. They’ve got a full bar and a mimosa menu. We placed our orders, but we found out they were also out of biscuits due to an oven fire. So we scrapped the biscuits and gravy.
We got our coffees (Folger’s, our server told us). It was made well though and tasted decent. Entrees rolled out and, y'all it was rough. The pancakes were burnt badly and very bland. Their bread pudding french toast special was really hideous and had several large eggshells in it. And both of these items were missing the berry compote the menu had said they came with. We also got their eggs florentine, which was the only decent dish today. The eggs were cooked well and the hollandaise was decent but it needed more of it. We also got the hot honey chicken and waffles…man it was bad too. The waffles at a continental breakfast are tastier and the chicken was super bland. There was also no “hot” in this hot chicken. I dunno if it was supposed to be Nashville influenced or be dipped in a hot sauce? It was just a real plain fried chicken thigh and it didn’t taste good. The bacon was also cooked in the deep fryer. It came out clumped in a hard crunchy ball. Cardinal sin. How dare you bastardize bacon like this… A pig died and you’re gonna disrespect its legacy by deep frying its bacon? Shameful, honestly.
It wasn’t super busy but the servers seemed frazzled
I know there was an oven fire that morning, but if that’s going to ruin your whole menu then you should just close for the day and regroup. A fire doesn’t burn pancakes that are being cooked on the flattop. A fire doesn’t drop egg shell into a bread pudding and leave them. A fire doesn’t send out the ugliest pile of “french toast” I’ve ever seen. A fire doesn’t make you forget half of the components that are supposed to be on an item, and a fire definitely doesn’t give you the right to do that to bacon. Ever.
Nobody in my party enjoyed much of anything. I really hoped that they had a new person cooking or something, but I saw the chef/owner was on the line…which bummed me out even more. As a career chef, what came out was totally unacceptable and shouldn’t have been sent at all. Very sloppy presentation, lots of missing components and legit nothing tasted good. I swear I’m not trying to be a jerk or overly critical. It was F-ing bad.
Score 2.2/10
I’m sorry, Rascal’s Tavern. Y'all fumbled this brunch so hard. I know you had an oven fire, but it doesn’t give you a pass on 95% of the issues we had today, especially with the chef/owner in the building. I ran the Iron Hen for 5 years..that entire place was on oven fire owned by quite possibly an actual demon. Ya gotta hold your standards; no matter what shitstorm of a day it is. If you burn the shit out of an order of pancakes, you don’t sell it anyways cuz you’re in the weeds. If the special comes out looking like it’d been…in an oven fire, you scrap the special for the day. Or come up with a quick one on the fly.
If you can’t do any of that, you have to shut it down for the day. What if some random dude comes in who is doing a rundown of all the best brunches in town? :/ Made me feel bummed that I knew I was gonna have to hit ya with a bad one like this. It’d be really hard for me to come back. I just gotta be honest.

Median Entree Price + 20% tip: $13+$2.60 = $15.60 

McCoul’s Irish Pub

A Greensboro institution. Mccouls has been in business over 20 years. A step inside transports you to a cozy pub in the heart of Kilkenny. You can nearly hear the boats outside puttering down the river Nore. The smell of bacon and Irish coffee wafts through the pub and has me drooling as we are led to our table upstairs. No reservations taken here. You’ll get a table when you get one and ye better like it. In nice weather there’s a ton of patio seating, but this place is no hidden gem. Everybody and their nan has been to Mccoul’s so expect a wait during peak hours.
Service was fairly attentive albeit not super friendly. Seemed fitting for the environment. To be honest the whole pub is pretty dingy and could use some TLC. I’d never been here when the sun was out and as with most things in bars, they look prettier in the dark. The coffee was tasty. “Mccoul’s Nutty Irishmen” was the blend. Our server knew it was local but not for where. Darn good wherever it came from.
They offer a limited brunch menu, but everything we had was pretty spot on. We got the “Cinnamon Toast Crunch.” A fried chicken breast and egg sandwich in between french toast. We got the biscuits and gravy. Great gravy. Rich and peppery. The biscuits were a miss for me. I’m pretty positive they came in frozen and were pretty bland, but they had a nice color to them. I got the traditional breakfast. The fried eggs were on-the-money over medium, the bacon was just crispy enough. I didn’t really like the banger but it has a nice pop to the casing. The potatoes O’Brien were great; crispy and well-seasoned home fries with caramelized peppers and onions. Yum. The gouda grits were awesome as well, especially if you are a cheese head like my wife. I will note that my whole plate came out a little too cold. I figured they were waiting on our chicken sandwich to be done and got my plate in the window a little too soon. Not a huge deal though because it all tasted awesome.
I will add that there’s a bit of a greasy spoon feel to all the brunch items. It’s all super heavy and most of my stuff was a little oily. This isn’t a “hey let's go get brunch and then go out on the town" type of place.” This is a “I drank too much Guinness last night and need some fat and carbs to cure what’s ailing ya joint” Nothing wrong with that at all. It's dang good eats. It’s just not usually what I'm looking for.
My biggest drawback was the price. Not cheap. Not even sorta. We spent $81 after the tip. 3 entrees and 2 coffees. Yikes. It's good pub food for sure , but it's still pub food. Everything’s got a lil grease on it and the flattop they were cooking on wasn’t clean. This menu needs to come down 2 or 3 dollars an item for sure.
Score: 8.1/10 - They make a helluva brunch spread. Dad’s gonna love it and you and the boys can pound boilermakers at 10 am, having the hair of the dog what bit ya. You’re sure to leave fed and full and everybody’s happy besides your wallet and your cardiologist.

Median Entree Price + 20% tip: $16.18+3.24 = $19.42 

Scrambled

Scrambled has been a super popular brunch spot for some years now and for good reason. They are cranking out solid brunch food. I want to preface by stating that Scrambled is a self-proclaimed diner, so I tried to adjust my expectations by a smidge when comparing them to some other places around town.
You can jump on the waitlist online through yelp which I love. You can see your spot in line and roll in ten minutes before you’re expected to be seated. It cut out on me standing in a crowd for half an hour getting over-stimmed first thing in the morning which is great for my sanity.
I gotta be honest. I think the inside is straight up ugly. The light fixtures are old baskets and the walls desperately need painting. There's silver air duct running all over the ceiling and they’ve got hokey decor on the walls. Welcome to your country grandparent’s basement. I was half expecting my late Grandma Bonnie to be smoking Virginia Slims and playing solitaire at a table in the corner.
Their coffee was good like my grandma’s too. I can still remember the smell of it brewing when I’d wake up at her house 25 years ago. It comes from Carolina Coffee Roasters. Good coffee.
People always talk about their giant pancakes. They are huge for sure. But real talk, I don’t like them. They’re definitely more of a griddle cake. They’re thin and a lil greasy. I’m on team light and fluffy. I’ve had them here before but today I passed on them.
Entrees. We had their fried green tomato benedict which was decent. It didn’t knock my socks off. It needed salt pretty badly, but the eggs were good and the hollandaise was decent too. I got a french toast platter. The french toast was decent. It needed a little longer of a soak in the batter though. My eggs were spot on over-medium and the bacon was good. Good grits too. Buttery and creamy. The fruit was bad. More sad melons…just…don’t. We had a biscuit and gravy as well. The sausage gravy was tasty and seasoned well. The biscuits were ok. They didn’t seem homemade, rather frozen. Regardless, they tasted pretty good.
Score: 6.9/10 - Scrambled claims to be a diner and honestly, they are. The food is all pretty decent. Nothing blew me away, but I left full and with no complaints aside from the bad decor and need for new paint.

Median Entree Price + 20% tip: $13.25+$2.65 = $15.90 

Melt

We arrived at Melt this Sunday at peak brunch hours and the place was hoppin’. The inside was packed and there were lots of people hanging outside waiting for a table–A good sign to me! People like this place and are down to wait. No reservations here; we waited for about 35 minutes for our table which isn’t bad considering that they were slammed.
As an anxious human, the dining area was really stressful to me. They’ve got the seating maxed out and it is very loud in there. I was really having to focus on holding it together. The decor is nice and I would have enjoyed being in the space much more if it was less crowded and less noisy and I wasn’t triggered into outer space... I made sure to sit facing the wall so I could focus on my wife which helps me a lot when I'm in an overstimulating space. But honestly, all of that’s more of a me thing than a Melt thing so …let’s recalibrate our focus.
Melt is the only place out of all of Greensboro that I’ve found to have bottomless mimosas. I repeat. Melt has bottomless Mimosas. For twenty bucks you can drink endless orange juice and cheap champagne until you spew it all over the parking lot! Woohoo!! They also had a great cocktail and mocktail menu. My wife got a strawberry lemonade that was very yummy. I had their coffee which was bold and pretty tasty, but our server didn’t know where it was from.
Entrees took a hot minute to reach our table. The kitchen must have been hanging on for dear life. However once they arrived we were super pleased. They make a very good benedict. Plenty of ham, very nice hollandaise, and served on a flaky croissant. Yum. We also had “Melts Big Nasty Fried Chicken Biscuit.” Visually, the name fits. It was a hideous pile of food, but holy moly..welcome to flavortown. It’s tasty fried chicken with an awesome hot sauce, lots of pimento cheese and bacon on a very good homemade biscuit and the whole thing is just drowned in zesty cajun gravy. Damn y'all this was good. You’re probably gonna need a nap after, but sheesh! Killer flavor and very satisfying. I thought this was much better than Mccouls’ brunch chicken sandwich and Melt’s is $7.50 cheaper…We also had their french toast. It was cooked nicely and had a great flavor and texture.
I did feel like their side items were lacking a bit. The fruit side was a melon fest and I did not like their grits. They were watery and had a very strong smoked flavor, I'm assuming from a gouda or something, but they weren’t my style. I’m also pretty positive their home fries came frozen. Bright orange and cut just like Ore-Ida’s. Bleh.
Score: 9.1/10 - Let’s freaking go Melt. Y’all are putting out some of the best brunch in the city. The price is right. It’s nice inside, but not so nice that you feel the need to dress up, and the food is straight up delicious. Tighten up those sides and maybe put up some noise-dampening foam and you're the cream of the crop. If you haven’t been for brunch, you’re missing out. I’ll be back for sure.

Median Entree Price + 20% tip: $14.79 + $2.95 = $17.75 

There it is, Greensbohemians. Brunch has been brunched.
Three, arduous months of spiking my blood sugar at 11 am every weekend; rendering my afternoons lackadaisical and unproductive. My wallet isn't thrilled with all these lavish weekend splurges, but I can rest easy knowing my brunch service to the community has come to an end.
I had Lindley Park Filling Station on my list too, but they’re closed for renovations. I could have done Dame’s Chicken and Waffles too now that I think of it…dammit. Fine. Here’s a drive-by review:

Dame’s Chicken and Waffles

I love Dame’s. I’ve been there a bunch. Dank chicken, dank waffles, dank schmears. Amazing collards and mac n cheese . The service is usually pretty spotty and sometimes the food comes out slow. You should definitely go.
Score: 8.4/10 Really good food, but sometimes I worry the server might kick my ass for asking for some syrup.
​
I’m sure I missed a few other spots too…Honestly, I have eaten enough benedicts for a lifetime and I’m over brunch food for a while. Y’all go check out the rest of them, come back and let us know. I’m tapping out. I had such a great time writing this up. I hope you had a great time reading it. I really appreciate you taking the time.
So what’s next?
Coffee shops. I’m about to bite down on that bean baby. I’ll be hitting up all the shops in town and be back with a much more brief and lighthearted rundown of who’s got the best in the ‘boro. I’m gonna catch the vibe, catch a buzz, and be back hyper and excited to tell y'all where’s hot and where’s not.
Until then, your neighbor,
Zac

Dana Beal, in Idaho jailhouse interview, shares key to Ukrainian and Biden victories: Ibogaine MARCH 2, 2024 BY LINCOLN ANDERSON Dana Beal’s face — bushy, white, walrus mustache…oversized, dark-framed eyeglasses — loomed into view as the video call finally, after a few failed tries, connected with his Tellmate “secure, inmate wireless tablet.”
He was speaking from jail in Gooding County, Idaho, where he’s being held — once again — on pot-trafficking charges. But rather than complain about the lousy prison food, crumby cell conditions or how he was framed, dammit, Beal promptly launched into a diatribe about his personal raison d’être — ibogaine.
It’s not just the issue that’s closest to his heart, but, as Beal tells it, could even help both Ukraine win its war against Russia and Joe Biden win reelection against Donald Trump.
Beal, 77, has been in lockup for six weeks now. As for why he was in a van, allegedly with a large quantity of cannabis, when the vehicle conked out in Idaho and he was busted, he isn’t saying much. The Tellmate call was subject to monitoring, an audio warning noted at the start.
“My objective was to raise money for equipment — equipment that we need for the facility…in Ghana,” Beal shared.
The facility was for making pills of ibogaine, a drug derived from an African root that can allegedly cure myriad addictions, from heroin to nicotine. It even helped the first son kick cocaine, he noted.
“Hunter Biden took ibogaine twice. It’s in his autobiography,” Beal said, citing the exact page number from memory. “He said it’s moderately effective — and nothing’s effective for cocaine.”
Asked about the coke that was found in the White House last summer, Beal shrugged, “Planted by some Trump guy.”
There are two fundraisers for Dana Beal’s legal fund on Saturday night, which will include a discussion of ibogaine in Ukraine. Unfortunately, though, after word got out that Beal was being held behind bars, the African factory was quickly “stolen” from him, he said.
Beal’s ultimate plan, as he tells it, was to return to Ukraine, where just a few months ago he was working with a military psychologist to explore using ibogaine to treat soldiers’ traumatic brain injury and battlefield burnout.
“What was I doing? I was on my way to bring ibogaine to Ukraine,” he stated. “The pot was incidental.”
Beal, a leader of the second-wave Yippies (Youth International Party), quipped that he’s been putting the “international” into Yippie through his globetrotting work trying to get his ibogaine production up and running; before going to Ukraine, he was in Africa buying the psychoactive root.
Meanwhile, as for his current situation, according to Beal, the prosecution claims he was trying to truck weed to “cartels” in Idaho.
“That’s what they’re saying in court,” he said.
In the past, his pattern was to buy reefer in Northern California, then bring it back to New York City. Much of it was for medical marijuana use, he would argue.
“Dana’s been doing this for years,” said John Penley, a longtime friend and fellow legalization advocate. He’ll go somewhere where he can buy cheap pot. It’s generally not too good pot, but people buy it because it’s cheap. He’s been busted for it five or six times.”
Beal has been offered one year in jail, if he pleads guilty, down from the initial five years.
(Photo by The Village Sun) Congressional Republicans are stonewalling on giving further military funding to Ukraine, forcing the besieged country to go into defensive posture against a vastly larger invading Russian force.
“Mike Johnson is withdrawing the funds,” Beal noted of the House speaker. At the same time, Beal is calling on President Biden to “deschedule” ibogaine, which is currently a Schedule 1 drug, meaning the U.S. feels it has “no accepted medical use and a high potential for abuse.”
“It has zero abuse potential,” the legalization activist argued. “It can’t be a Schedule 1 drug.”
Furthermore, he noted, ibogaine could be a major tool in fighting the nation’s fentanyl crisis.
In a twofer, he said, if he could just get ibogaine to Ukraine, it could help turn the war’s tide — while the American Ukrainian community could help push for the drug’s legalization here.
“We have a chance to reach out to the Ukrainian community,” he said, “and convince them that, even without the $60 billion and ammunition, they could get Biden to order ibogaine to be descheduled.
“For $20,000, we can make a million chocolate bars to go to the front lines. We have to get these microdoses to the Ukrainian army — and they’ll win the war. … We can sell chocolate bars for 4 Euros. Right now, they’re buying Adderall, which is bad for you.”
In addition to helping with traumatic brain injury and battlefield burnout, according to Beal, ibogaine also makes the brain one-and-half years younger, helps with nighttime fighting — and, most incredibly, even gives psychic powers.
“Soldiers will jump away from where bombs will drop,” he claimed. “And it also helps to figure out where the Russians are. It makes you mildly psychic.”
As if imbuing people with lifesaving ESP wasn’t enough, research has also shown that ibogaine cures Parkinson’s disease, Beal said, adding that issue alone could help Biden fend off Trump.
“We have the cure for Parkinson’s disease for the American people,” he said. “All we have to do is sign the f—ing order [to deschedule ibogaine]. He can run on that. … If Biden makes a cure for meth and Parkinson’s, he’ll win.”
Also, if Biden himself took ibogaine, it would help his mental acuity, questions about which are hurting him in the polls, Beal suggested.
“Yeah, definitely,” he urged, “he’s gotta take that microdose.”
Donald Trump is a fascist who must be defeated — and Joe Biden can do it…with a little help from ibogaine, Dana Beal says. (Photo by The Village Sun) Equaling the level of his passion for ibogaine, Beal hates Trump with a vengeance.
“It was no January 6 Capital Riot,” he fumed. “It was the January 6 Putsch — and it came unglued, just like the Beer Hall Putsch,” he said, referring to Hitler’s failed 1923 coup.
Other Washington politicians also could benefit from dosing with ibogaine, he noted, like Senator John Fetterman. The treatment would be given in Mexican clinics.
“We’re prepared to fly Fetterman down to Colima to repair his stroke damage,” Beal declared. “You fly into Cancun.”
As for himself, he’s doing all right despite being in lockup, he said. During a previous stint in a Midwestern prison — again, for trucking weed cross country — Beal almost died after suffering a heart attack.
“I’m fine,” he said. “I just want to get out of here. We got the money [for bail] — we need co-signers. We need rich people to co-sign. A quarter million. I need a couple of rich guys…or a couple of buildings.”
How about the guy who lives in Chelsea who, pre-pandemic, hosted those Friday night dinner parties attended by seemingly all of Downtown’s major pot and ibogaine activists, a reporter asked? Beal was always welcome since he brought weed. Unfortunately, though, the two are on opposite sides of the Russia-Ukraine War.
“You could ask him,” he said. “But he’s backing Putin. A bit of a problem.”
Beal intends to make the best of his situation. He vowed that cannabis will no longer be criminalized there by the time he’s through.
“The unintended consequence of this,” he said, “is we’re going to legalize pot in Idaho.”
On Saturday night there are two, back-to-back fundraisers for Beal’s legal defense, the first at the Ukrainian National Home, at 140 Second Ave., from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., followed by one at Von bar, at 3 Bleecker St., from 7:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. Both will include a discussion of ibogaine’s use by Ukrainian military. The Von fundraiser was originally planned for the Overthrow boxing gym, at 9 Bleecker St. — the former Yippies headquarters — but there was reportedly concern about “everyone smoking pot” in the place.

Section One: Assets and Debt
Roth IRA: 36417.87
Individual investment account: $35,076.31
Savings account balance: $6,913.81
Checking account balance: $12
= $78,407.99
Credit card debt: they’re hefty right now but I pay them off every month
Student loan debt: I am debt free as of September 1st! I got an English degree and then went to grad school for an education degree, which my grandma paid for. I lived at home for 5 years after college to pay off my loans and go to grad school.
​
Section Two: Income
Income Progression:
I started teaching last year and made 72k. Our union approved raises as of 2022, so I got a year of backpay, and my next raise will be this week.
Before teaching, I worked in PR making $22/hr, bartended, waited tables, had various internships, etc.
​
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
Income:
Current salary: 75,861
Bi monthly paycheck: 2107.18
Deductions: 1067.04. This includes pension, union dues, fed taxes, state taxes, city taxes.
​
Section Three: Expenses
Rent: 1545 for my share of a 3 bedroom in Manhattan.
Retirement contribution: I just transferred 7k from my savings account to Roth IRA.
Savings contribution: I have savings goals, but honestly have been spending a lot and only end up transferring to savings what’s left over after I pay off my credit cards. I need to get better at this.
Electric: usually around $50 a month
Wifi: $14
Cellphone: $55 to my dad each month
Spotify: $18.12
Equinox membership: $256
Pet expenses: variable, my cat is cheap though
Regular therapy: $55 a session 2x a month
I usually stick to a coffee budget of $20 a month on my Starbucks app for Starbucks Friday.
​
Day 1- Sunday
I wake up at like 10:30ish, I was so sick yesterday, I woke up violently ill in the middle of the night for hours, but I finally feel a bit better. Rush to make coffee before therapy.
$55 on therapy. I complain about my bestie getting engaged this weekend to a man I despise, and then calling me after 3 of her other friends… and then I spend most of the time complaining about my ex-situationship driving me insane over winter break and how bad I want to scream at him. He texted me after Christmas feeling guilty for the shit that he did and I said maybe you’d feel better if you bought me a nice present and now I’m waiting for my present to arrive and then I’ll have to go see him and then I really want to let loose and yell at him for all of the emotional torture. We are totally not toxic! Will I have sex with him?? I am hoping I am strong enough not to but honestly it’s really hard to say no to. Prayers for me.
Finally not feeling sick so I have a delightful therapy session, smoke some weed, do laundry, eat half a bagel with butter and one of my roommate’s French fries.
2:00- go to yoga, have a great class. Go home.
3:30- clean my bathroom from all the puke, shower. Have a few peanuts. Change my sheets. Clean out the fridge of all of my leftovers because I don’t know what made me sick and it’s full of old food. Take out the trash. vacuum. Watch tiktoks of people cleaning their homes. This is my current hyperfixation. Sit around in my bathrobe for a while before finally getting dressed in my First Date Sweater, jeans, and uggs, and put a little drop of makeup on (concealer, blush, eyeliner, mascara)
6:20-Venture across town to get ramen for my first first date of the year. He is shorter than I thought he would be but very cute, smart, a good conversationalist, seems nice, good eye contact. We sit there for almost 3 hours, he pays, all is well until he says he only wants a FWB so I leave it at that. He walks me to the bus stop and then we were talking so much I almost missed the bus but I run on it real quick (no one swipes for the bus anymore idk).
10:30- get home, scream at a mouse in the elevator, smoke some weed, chat with my roomies about my date and about my being mad at my bestie for calling other people before me after she got engaged. We draft the rejection text to this man because he asked me out again and for the love of god I cannot do another casual, FWB, situationship nonsense because I just got my heart absolutely destroyed by the last one and it turns out I actually DO want a boyfriend (or a girlfriend, just harder to get). My roomie E hits the send button and we reject him kindly. He asks if I’d still be down for a threesome. Lol.
Wash my face, do some eye serum patches, smoke my weed, and browse my phone. I put an ad up in a Facebook group for women to date my brother and am now getting hundreds of messages, so I browse through some of the messages to see if any of them would interest him. I know his type, but most of them aren’t what he’s looking for. I realize I never liked my bestie’s engagement instagram post. I stare at it and try to think of a comment that would feel sincere. I read all of the other comments. I decide I don’t need to comment anything since I already spoke to her. Am I being a bitch?
I go to sleep by like 12:30 accomplishing 0 work for the day. But at least my room is clean…
Sunday total = $55
​
Day 2- Monday
My alarm is set for 6:20, I snooze till 6:35. I pee, brush my teeth, make coffee and a sandwich and cut up some strawberries for my yogurt, get dressed, take my frozen soup from the catered lunch the other day out of the freezer, and am out the door by 7:11, which is later than I would like.
Get to work by 8:05ish, my smart board isn’t working, the kids are stressed about their finals. I send an angry email to my management company about all of the things that they need to fix and the mouse in the elevator.
I am trying to grade but I keep getting distracted. I am trying to learn piano this year and am about to sign up for classes, but I buy the books that I need first and email the instructor again to check on the start date. 15.88 for a piano book, 31.86 for the other piano book.
Try to grade on my prep period but have to go set up the other classroom for my 3rd period, poop, and try to figure out what to do with my special ed kids during their final because my co-teacher is out today. Grade 0 essays. Read a reddit post about how awful dating in NYC on the apps is, and people suggest doing speed dating. I go on eventbrite and search speed dating and sign up for an event downtown tomorrow. $23.18
3rd period, trying to grade, feeling very anxious and jittery and shaky. End up on the internet again. Grade 1 essay.
4th period- get them set up taking their finals. Google “what to do when your best friend gets engaged”. Try not to cry at my desk. Google “what to do when you hate your best friend’s fiancé”. Eat my yogurt. Back on reddit. Still trying not to cry. I get an email- I finally won lottery tickets for broadway! But the show isn’t until march. Text my friend N who loves theatre asking if she wants to go with me. She says yes! Buy 2 tickets for us for $48, $24 each is a real bargain. I love living in New York.
5th period- get kids set up with their finals. Piano teacher gets back to me and says to start tonight! Yay! Read more messages from girls trying to date my brother. Some guy on a dating app tries to get me to go out tonight and I give him like 5 reasons why I’m not going to lol. Check my ex’s score on the NYT mini crossword. Play the mini. He beats me today. f. Still have not graded a paper.
6th period- eat my lunch. I made mozzarella and prosciutto (there were all these little crystals on it, is this what happens when cured meats are old?? I think it’s fine? Hoping for no more food poisoning.) there was romaine in there as well that was very pink. I accompany my sandwich with a bag of chips I took from our catered Panera last week. I stole like 20 bags of chips and put them in my locker. My dentist office calls and has to reschedule my appointment for this week because apparently my dentist bestie quit. Sad! Rescheduled for April. Successfully graded one paper.
7th period. This is my actual lunch period. What have I done this entire period? I don’t know but it’s definitely not grade any papers!
8th period. I’m technically done teaching for the day and could leave but I usually stay while my colleague teaches. He needs help with his kids taking their tests so I sit with them and should be grading papers. check my ex’s reddit instead, just in case he said anything interesting lately. He has not. Spend more time on reddit. Send my bestie a link to a wedding venue. Papers graded: 0. ADHD sucks lol.
Leave work at 4:11 which is later than I wanted because yoga is at 5:15 and it takes me like an hour to get there. $2.90 subway. Call my mom on my walk to the subway to complain about my bestie because I’m worried she’s ruining her life. Hang up with my mom, cry the rest of my walk to the subway. The subway is super slow today for some reason and I’m running short on time for yoga. Start making a jog as I get off the subway and it’s 5:11, change really quickly and get to class at 5:15 but they already let people in from the WAITLIST so I’m waiting to see if there’s a spot for me but I get a mat and my yoga teacher is so happy that I got in. Have an amazing yoga class, she gives me several shoutouts during class (I’m secretly in love with her) and then tells me she’s so glad I made it <3 After class she mentions she’s doing an inversion workshop soon so I give her my email to sign up for that and she tells me she loves me <333 (insert gay heart eyes, is she even remotely flirting or is she just in the business of getting people to show up? TBD). THEN I go in the steam room for 10 minutes, keeping it a little short today because of piano class. Then I enjoy the lovely high pressure shower and kiehls products in the shower and locker room, change, and head to piano class. I get a text from my friend N asking if I’m free Saturday and I say “yes what are we doing” and she suggests we get brunch to catch up and go to the Whitney. N is a friend from college and she just moved to New York and we’re having sooo much fun hanging out all the time now since she moved and she’s single and has money and loves doing all the same things as me. This is the life hack to making friends as an adult: get your friends to move to your city<3
7:00- this piano teacher offered to do a trial class before I sign up, and nobody else has signed up for this class yet so it’s just a private piano lesson and she teaches me hand techniques and about the keyboard and we go over notes and stuff. I have a great time because I love learning and I’m excited to finally be able to play piano. I got a keyboard for Christmas to practice on and there’s a piano at school that I can practice on for a real piano feel, so I’m ready to start singing along to all my favorite songs and be able to play the music myself!!
8:15- I tell her I will definitely sign up for class and see her again next Monday, then I go home. Feed my cat, make some Trader Joe’s fried rice to meal prep for the rest of the week as well cause I didn’t do that yesterday, but I also add edamame and more scrambled eggs to bulk it up for more meals. Prep my coffee for the morning, smoke some weed, check out more messages from girls wanting to date my brother and send him another girls info, call him and get the tea on one of the dates that he went on that I set up (it went well!)
Get out my laptop to write this and watch Taylor Swift playing piano on YouTube while I message my app matches. Finish getting ready for tomorrow, put my hair in heatless curls, smoke more, eat an ice cream sandwich, i think i went to sleep at like 12.
Monday total: 100.72- note, the piano teacher said she would buy the one book off of me because I don’t actually need it.
​
Day 3- Tuesday
6:20- snooze. 6:30- snooze. 6:40- get out of bed. Pee, make coffee, pack lunch, get dressed, water the cat, out the door by 7:02.
$2.90 for the subway. Transfer, 11 minute wait for the next train. The worst. Write a complaint to the MTA, as if it’ll do anything.
Get to school at like 8:10. Set up the smartboard, get the kids started on day 2 of their final. One of my students tells me i look like the main character of a hallmark movie going home for the holidays to find love. I’m wearing a flannel, black pants and bean boots cause its supposed to rain, and my hair is curled so i’m like oh it’s giving looking for my new hampshire lumberjack? She says yes and i say good because love is on my vision board for this year!!!
Look for tickets to the whitney for me and N. Write an email to equinox suggesting more hot yoga classes. Grade 1 essay.
2nd period- bathroom, chat with other teachers, reddit, sign up for piano classes ($600). Give my friend a break so she can go to the bathroom. Chat with my colleague, grade 0 papers.
3rd period- my annoying coteacher starts arguing with me in front of the kids about which test to give them. Go on reddit. Grade a paper.
4th period- go to the science lab with a few kids. my turn for the read aloud kids today. Read the most boring test ever. Then go on reddit. Do not grade any papers. N tells me that she got us free tickets to the Whitney on Saturday through her company, yay! Google “teacher burnout” because i’m exhausted and can’t stand thinking about this stuff anymore. Get an annoying email from my coteacher.
5th pd- theyre taking their test. I eat my yogurt and I try to grade but i’m so tired i’m like falling asleep. So then i try to take their test instead and see how i do and it’s annoyingly hard lol. Give up after 10 questions. Go back to grading. I mightve graded one paper.
6th period- eat lunch and finally talk to some adults. I really want to go home, everyone is talking about how it’s supposed to be some horrible storm tonight and we shouldn’t stay after school for anything, but i have a meeting from 4-5:30 with my team that i get paid extra for since i’m off the clock at 2. But i really want to go home and take a nap. Ask my coteacher if we can cancel so i can take a nap and he says no.
7th period- i don’t even know. I might’ve graded another paper. Oh actually we finished making the assignment that i want to give them this week. The idea came to me in a dream one night over winter break which was pretty cool.
8th pd- i’m off the clock, but i stay to help my co-teacher give his kids tests. I just have to sit there and i should be grading but i’m sooooo tired i’m trying not to fall asleep. Mostly just go on reddit.
4:00- clock in for the most boring meeting ever, we have to read sample essays and decide what we would grade them as a group. These meetings always feel like a huge waste of time to me but at least i’m getting paid for it.
5:15- clock out and go home and walk in the rain. I think someone held the door open for the subway for me and if they do that I’m not going out of my way to pay, sorry. I really want to not go to this speed dating thing now because it’s raining and i’m exhausted but i already paid for it so… the show must go on.
6:15- get home, smooch my cat, have a glass of chocolate milk, smoke some weed. My cute curls are ruined from the rain. Change back into my date sweater, put on a drop of makeup, head out the door.
7- 2.90 for the subway. Make my way through the torrential rain to get to this bar.
7:30- 3.27 for a sprite+$2 tip. Then the dating starts! It’s interesting, it was only 5 minutes which felt pretty quick. I can talk to almost anyone but I don’t know if I was really *feeling* it with anyone. I said yes to 3/11 people cause why not, but my longest conversation was with the girl next to me.
9:15- leave the bar. 2.90 subway home. It is still absolutely pouring out but i’m hungry so i mobile order mcdonalds for myself on my way home as a reward for going out. $9.73 after a 20% off coupon on the app.
Get home and eat and watch Young Sheldon until 11. I’m exhausted now so i’m going to wash my face, reset my curls, and go to sleep.
Tuesday total: 623.7
​
Day 4- Wednesday
Wake up at 6:35, get out of bed by 6:45, out the door by 7:09. I’m wearing leggings and a sweatshirt, feeling exhausted. $2.90 for subway. The subway is crowded and I wanna die. Finally get a seat and a nice surprise text from my 2nd ex, the one from the other diaries! He still misses me lol. I am waiting to see if the more recent ex will text me but I think I’ll have to text him later.
Get to work at 8:08. Missing work day to give them a break from their finals and get the kids who missed a day caught up. Get a super annoying email from my co-teacher. My other co-teacher sends an email asking if we can all meet from 3-5 tomorrow. I don’t know if I’ll get paid extra for it and to be honest even if I do, I really just don’t want to because I’m exhausted and these meetings are so annoying and I’m so BURNT OUT.
2nd period- My co-teacher gets pulled for coverage so I successfully avoid another boring grading meeting. I can grade their finals much faster because they’re shorter. Still not finished the first set of essays but oh well. I have the windows open and it feels like a spring day today.
3rd period- Missing work day- I grade two essays and mostly end up chatting with my kids. They ask to see a picture of my ex so they can roast him for me and make me feel better. I oblige and they tell me that he looks short and nerdy and I should date more women instead and I explain how that is actually more difficult than dating men!
4th period- I get pulled from my class to go cover another class, so I can use this period to grade more papers. The other teacher’s desk is full of pens and I need to remember to put in a supply request. Get stuck on a research hole about yacht week in Croatia. I really want to be on a boat in Croatia this summer, I wonder if I should find my own group on the internet or just join a tour group? hmmmm… I do be spending all my money on vacations.
5th period- keep running around to different places trying to make plans and get questions answered and help kids with things. Get very little grading done.
6th period- my coteacher yells at me that I’m behind on my grading, as if I don’t know that. Then we conference with the vice principal about a student plagiarizing.
7th period- eat my trader joes fried rice. I really want to leave. Get into an argument with my coteacher because he once again tells me I’m behind on my grading, as if he’s the boss of me, and I start yelling at him that I know that and I don’t need him to tell me that. He also tries to blame me for a student cheating because I didn’t whiteout the test year when I printed the exams, and I tell him that HE WAS WELCOME TO PRINT THEM AT ANY TIME. I’m so mad at both of my co-teachers and wish I could just teach alone.
Storm out of school at 2:50, think about how badly I want to run into traffic, come home ($2.90), wonder if I should text my ex, kiss my cat and cry and think about how much I hate everybody, wonder if I’m PMSing. Check my cycle and my last period was 25 days ago. I love PMDD. Smoke some weed to make me feel better.
5:00: Get a text from one of my speed dating matches from last night! Get an email from my yoga teacher about her handstand workshop. She told me to put handstands on my 2024 vision board, which then inspired not only me to make my vision board but then I made all of my students make vision boards for the year, and I’m taking my vision board very seriously. I send her $55 for the workshop. I continue researching sailing trips to Croatia and contemplate if I should stop manically spending all of my money to make myself feel better. I contemplate if I should call out sick tomorrow for mentally ill reasons and all of my friends tell me I should. I ask my roommate if I should go for a run and she says yes, so I fulfill my plans to join my local run club, which I have not done in several months.
6:15- walk a mile to the run club meeting spot, get there awkwardly early and feel high and awkward, but people are friendly and start talking to me and then I make friends with a girl who is there for the first time. We are the exact same pace so we run all 4 miles together and then everyone meets at a bar afterwards, I’m trying to do dry January so I just get a water and then I actually have such a nice time, we have the same niche music obsession, meet some other nice people and overall have a great time socializing. I’m hungry because all I ate today was a bit of fried rice and I want to order the wings because they look really good but I don’t, and instead keep talking until 9.
9:00- I almost take the bus but missed it so I run the last mile back home because it’s cold, shower, and snack on some pretzels and peanuts while I put some frozen chicken in the air fryer. contemplate texting my ex again, but he hasn’t been online in 3 hours and that makes me think he’s probably hanging out with my replacement and I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of me texting him while he’s with someone else. He never played the mini today, it’s all very suspicious. I decide I’m definitely calling out sick tomorrow, smoke some more weed, and have a glass of chocolate milk in bed.
Call out sick from work tomorrow, assign the kids their work, read messages from my ex, cry myself to sleep, bed by 12:30
Wednesday total: 60.8
​
Day 5- Thursday
Wake up at like 9, feeling very happy to be home. Masturbate, cry about my ex. Contemplate texting my ex. Finally just do it. fuck. Get another very annoying email from my co-teacher. Debate if I wanna go sit in a local coffeeshop or a cool one I found further away but my roommate asks me if I can help her with something later so i’ll do the local one. Take half of an adderall so that it doesn’t send me into an anxiety spiral and we walk to get coffee together.
10:40- $10.20 on a small latte and a pain au chocolat with a $1 tip. He’s purposely not opening my message. I am sitting outside because there are no seats inside and I feel like one of those Swedish babies being left out in the cold because it’s good for them. I wonder if I’m supposed to send my bestie something. I should not have texted him because now every time my phone vibrates the anxiety is back. fuck.
11:25- finally move inside. I was about to leave from being cold. I finished my coffee but I’m gonna sit here with my cup for a while anyway to not be in my apartment. I can’t believe he’s ignoring me.
12:00- I go home because I have to poop. Now I can grade papers with a blankie and a cat on my lap. Listen to Last Kiss and start to cry again. Clean up cat puke. Grade more papers.
2:20- FINALLY finish grading my 1st period papers from December, Jesus Christ that took forever. I should eat something. Add their grades to the grade book. I try to think of what to eat for lunch but everything sounds so unappealing (thanks Adderall). Eat some pretzels and peanuts. Why is he refusing to open my text? I should have waited till after work but I couldn’t help myself.
3:57- I texted him at 9:42 and he still hasn’t opened it. Why does he hate me? He doesn’t get to hate me I didn’t do anything!!! I’ve been texting this guy from speed dating all day but it’s so hard to feel anything. I smoke some more weed so I can get motivation to eat something.
4:20- throw out some moldy old deli meats and then make a lox and cream cheese bagel. Eat that in bed while my cat climbs on top of me trying to eat it. Give her a bite which she then drops in bed. Begrudgingly respond to work emails. Struggle to grade more papers, wonder if I’ll make it to the gym today… I feel like I’ll never be able to catch up on all of the grading I’m behind on, there’s still assignments from October and just so many things and I’ve been too mentally ill to deal with it all. FML. I’m so fucking miserable again. Why has he still not opened my text. He’s never done this before.
5:14 he played the mini and he still hasn’t open my text.
6:09 I finally see him typing and my anxiety comes rushing back. Can’t focus to grade my papers. Sit in an anxiety spiral texting him and waiting for responses until 7:30. Smoke a lot of weed to try to feel better.
7:30- leave to go to trivia night at local bar with a group of girls in the neighborhood. Got way too high in my anxiety spiral and am being awkward. Trying to do dry January here so I just get a water. We’re really bad at trivia and I am still in my adderall spiral and trying not to dissociate at the bar. Keep texting my ex at the bar
10:30- keep texting my ex on my way home from the bar, and back in bed. I need to stop. Why am I doing this. He cannot give me anything, why am I even engaging. I hate myself. He asks to hang next weekend cause he’s out of town this weekend and I really wanted to indulge my moment of mental illness but I’m busy next weekend and maybe also the weekend after that and by the time time passes maybe I’ll be out of this moment and not even want to see him anymore. I mostly just want to see him to yell at him and tell him to never talk to me ever again, but delaying this so much kind of ruins the oomph of that. He just wants to have sex. I keep telling myself I’m on a celibacy journey and I shouldn’t even want to have sex with him but I’m also just feeling mentally ill and want to go back in for one last time. First he admitted that he lied to me about buying the present and then he says he doesn’t want to play with my feelings but THAT’S ALL HE EVER DOES. Everyone says to block him but I just want to see him face to face so I can relay the extent of my mental illness and make him feel bad and maybe it would make me feel better. I don’t know what else to do anymore, I’m trying absolutely everything but I feel like I just need to get it off my chest. I have been absolutely 100% consumed by my obsession, depression, anxious thoughts, and misery since mid-october, before we even broke up, and I have been spiraling through spending all my money, heavy drinking, and lots of crying every single day since then. I need something, but I don’t know what the answer is. I’m pretty sure everyone I know is tired of hearing about this man and my issues with him at this point.
I never ate any dinner. At midnight i have a glass of chocolate milk and turn the lights out with an early alarm set for the morning so i can grade more papers. Lets see if i can fall asleep or if i ruined that for myself as well. Bed by 12:30.
Thursday total: $10.20
​
Day 6- Friday
Alarm goes off at 5:20 and I decide an extra hour of sleep is worth more than trying to grade papers.
Get out of bed at 6:45, brush teeth, poop, fill water bottle, put on a different sweatshirt, out the door by 7:07. $2.90 subway. Mobile order my Starbucks on the train. I got a few Starbucks gift cards for Christmas so my account is set for a while. Get to work by 8:08.
1st period- get everyone set up on the project they’re working on and help them find topics if they’re stuck.
2nd period- my co-teacher apologizes for yelling at me on Wednesday and offers to grade my share of our papers so they can get done faster. he acknowledges that we are both deeply overworked and that’s a condition of the system that we’re in and “they” win if we take it out on each other instead of examining the structural deficiencies of our career and administrative overload. I am deeply appreciative that I don’t have to grade that section of papers as I am still so far behind on other things. Get caught up, try to grade some of our research papers.
3rd period- get the kids set up and try to grade, mostly end up on reddit.
4th period- actually teach today, they’re learning how to make a good research question
5th period- get them set up and try to grade. Enter Sweeney Todd lottery, knowing I won’t win.
6th period- fill out my attendance sheet for the week, set up my calendar for the next two weeks, look for the box of cheese its that my mom sent us that I cannot locate, and try to grade until my contractual time when I can finally leave. I normally would buy lunch on Friday but I decide to just head home and eat what I have instead.
Leave work at 2:15, $2.90, home by 3:15. Have another lox and cream cheese bagel and complain to my roommate about my ex, then log in to a zoom call at 4 with my student who cheated, his mother, my co-teacher, and our vice principal. The meeting lasts about 40 minutes and we shame him deeply while making plans for restoration. I will sit with him on Monday while he takes a new exam.
5:00, hallelujah time to finally smoke my weed. My other roomie comes home and we smoke together and chat about our days. Then I tell her about my conversation with my ex last night and my other roomie comes out and I have a big venting sash about how badly I just want to go over there to scream at him. Finally get my period!!! Then N texts me and asks if I want to join our new little friend group at the Met for date night and OBVIOUSLY I do because I had no plans other than maybe working out and going to sleep. I thank god for bringing N back into my life, we have so much fun together and I love FEMALE FRIENDSHIP. I feel absolutely manic again, like high on life and amazing and I once again wonder what is wrong with me.
6:15- walk to the met. my friend gets us tickets for free but it’s normally pay what you wish for city residents, this works out nicely though. We go check out the impressionists upstairs, the Picasso exhibit, and some fashion exhibit, then we decide to head to a bar. Try a few places that are packed, get a table at a spot closer to my place. They all get drinks, I get a sprite and buffalo chicken dip, which is delicious and I eat the entire thing. Contemplated getting dessert but didn’t bother. i told my friend to Venmo me, will probably owe her $30 after tax and tip. We all walk back to my apartment and I make appletinis (this doesn’t count against me for dry January because I didn’t buy it at a bar) and then we have a lovely time girling with the girlies in my apartment, and I am so happy to have good friends to have important conversations with.
They all leave by 12:45, and then I am texting my speed dating match and wash my face and get cozy in bed.
Friday total: $33.80
​
Day 7- Saturday
Wake up at 10:30, watch tiktoks for a bit and get a video for a spa in vietnam. Save it in my maps for when i go to vietnam this spring ;) get dressed in a very cute topshop outfit, except the skirt is so big now because i’ve lost 25lbs in the past few months from all of the anxiety this man gave me. Pair it with this cape i bought in london 8 years ago with N that i’ve never worn, and this outfit is amazing. Get a text from the guy from speed dating who I’ve been texting a lot, asking if I want to get dinner tonight. I had no plans, so that was a lovely text to get. He makes reservations at a cute Japanese restaurant downtown.
11:30 $2.90 for subway
1:30- $34.80 for eggs benedict and cappuccino at amazing brunch spot downtown. We have a great time chatting as always. Then we take cute pics outside as we walk around, we stop in this really cute home decor store and I see a Chanel ashtray that I want but it’s $50 so I pass. Then we go to Anthropologie and I find the CUTEST sweater, and an amazing skirt in the sale section. Skirt was originally $100 and the sweater was originally $168, but the skirt was marked down to $60, and the sweater to $110, and then it was an extra 50% off sale, and then I had a little bit of a leftover gift card, so my total was $85 and I only charged $47.82
2:15- then we head to the Whitney museum, which N got free tickets for. We’re feeling very cultured for art museums 2 days in a row, and there are some good pieces in here, but overall different vibes. N prefers European art and this is all American, so she’s not loving it as much. We only see a few floors, then we head to the gift shop. She doesn’t find what she wants, I don’t see anything I want, so we head out around 3:30. By now it has gotten much colder and I am very much regretting not wearing my coat. $2.90 for subway home.
4:30- pack a fresh bowl, smoke, change into my jammies. Eat a breadstick my roommate brought home for me from Olive Garden. get excited about the outfit I’m going to wear tonight. Feeling crazy again, wonder if I should have sex with this guy just for the sheer joy of the fact that he’s not my ex. My roommate tells me I should not, so i get out the pre-date jitters and masturbate (thinking about my ex obviously) so I can think clearer! Then I unload the dishwasher, snack on some pretzels and peanuts
6:20- Venmo my friend $28 for my portion last night. Shower and get ready for my date. look super hot.
7:40- $2.90 on subway
8:15- we get yummy Japanese food, the staff is trying to rush us out because they close at 9 and I can’t comprehend a restaurant closing that early on a Saturday night in New York City but here we are. The conversation is decent but no real chemistry, but I felt so rushed and it was so early that we then go walk around and head to another drinking establishment. he paid for dinner, then I made a bet at the bar that I won so he bought me a drink there (dry January doesn’t count if I’m not buying it myself). He’s a bit awkward and then after chatting for a while he tells me he’s 23 and suddenly so many things make sense and now I feel old and creepy and I want to leave.
Head out around 11. $2.90 home. While we were out, a guy I went out with two weeks ago asks me if I’m free tomorrow…
11:45- stick a frozen ball of cookie dough in the air fryer to see if it will come out like a normal cookie. Wash my face and put on a Japanese sheet mask. Both my roommates doors are closed and lights are off so I guess they’re sleeping? Which is weird since it’s so early. Watch tiktoks, browse reddit, go on pinterest and try to get ideas for a galentines day party that wont cost me a fortune. Bed by 1:30.
Saturday total: 94.22
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At the end of each day please tally up your daily expenses. Then at the end of your diary please tally up all expenses in the following categories:
Food + Drink: 88
Fun / Entertainment: 47.18
Home + Health: 55
Clothes + Beauty 47.82
Transport: $34.8
Other: 647.74
Weekly total: 920.54

Just sharing my story, a warning, and some success.
(30F) I've been partying and an active part of rave/festival/burn/music scenes for over a decade. I've never been addicted or unable to put anything down, but substances have just always been around and I enjoy a good time and some crazy stories. Even before getting on Wellbutrin I flirted with sobriety. I have done sober january 5 years in a row, and have managed to get myself comfortable going to lots of shows and events sober, just to have a break. Also about 8 months ago, I decided to cut out certain party drugs from my life forever: molly, coke, adderall, and other stimulants. My time with all that shit is done.
Two months ago I was finally diagnosed with MDD and ADHD. It was a long time coming and much needed. My life is generally awesome and I am generally a happy person, but my depressive episodes would come out of nowhere and they are totally debilitating. It was too intense and I needed something to stop this cycle. Started Wellbutrin 75mg then up to 150mgXL after a week.
I assumed that I was building a tolerance to Wellbutrin fairly quickly. I could feel it's benefits within a few days, but after a week or so it felt like it was wearing off. Well, of course, it wasn't, I was just hindering it from working by continuing to smoke weed and drink. Nothing crazy, a drink or two every other night, just a few hits from a joint sometimes. I could tell my tolerance for alcohol and weed was lower on Wellbutrin so I tried to be careful.
HOWEVER... one night I went out with a friend, got carried away, and had five cocktails within a span of 3 hours, AND a 0.3g psilocybin mushroom chocolate. Normally I could handle this amount of alcohol and just be pretty toasty, and I'm very experienced with psychedelics so the chocolate was very light and manageable. But this night I completely blacked out. Thankfully I warned my boyfriend I was started to feel too fucked up, he met up with us at the bar, and that's the last thing I remember. Total black out. And I never black out.
SO THEN he took me home and I basically had what resembled a total psychotic break. I DO NOT remember any of this besides maybe a couple verrryyy faint moments. Apparently, I could barely walk from the parking lot to his car, fell over trying to get in, and on the drive home I kept grabbing his crotch, he kept pulling my hand away and asking me to stop, so I started SLAMMING my head into the window and dashboard. I was flailing everywhere. He was trying to hold me down while also driving. We thankfully made it home and I literally crawled inside, he couldn't pick me up. Then I proceeded to spiral out into some sort of psychosis, cycling every few seconds between violent flailing and hitting myself, screaming and crying that I want to die, laughing hysterically and trying to be sexual, and then getting paranoid and rambling about cameras and people watching me. He would try to calm me down or stop me but I would hit him, cry, say paranoid shit about him, etc. NEVER IN MY LIFE have I ever acted like this, sober or on any drug!!! I have always been very grounded and sound of mind.
He said this went on for a COUPLE HOURS and he was doing everything in his power to calm me down without getting hurt or me hurting myself. He had to literally put his body weight on me and hold me down till I tired out and fell asleep. The next morning he was so upset. I had no idea what happened but I woke up knowing something was off. I asked "uh.... I don't remember getting home??" He was shocked, and proceeded to tell me everything. He was so upset and scared he was crying as he talked. He left and said he needed time to himself after all that.
I felt so so horrible. I was also so hungover that I literally went to one of those IV restore places lol. I started looking up more information on Wellbutrin x Alcohol interactions and yep... accounts of violence, and warnings of psychosis, all of the above. Not sure about the mushrooms but I bet they definitely didn't help! Later my boyfriend and I had a good talk, I apologized profusely and swore it would never happen again, and even bought him flowers. Don't worry, we are doing great now lol, but it was traumatizing for both of us.
So, this TERRIBLE experience twisted my arm into getting totally sober. I have since been very afraid of mixing these meds with ANYTHING. Thankfully, Wellbutrin is really great at stopping cravings and impulses so it has been easier than ever to stay sober. Sober partied all through christmas and new years and loved it.
Besides that horrifying story, I do have to say that Wellbutrin has been a success for me and has been absolutely incredible since. It's been over 3 weeks of me being sober now, and the meds work better than ever, and I feel better than ever. I can tell it is consistently working exactly how it's supposed to. My brain fog and dissociation is relieved in a way I haven't felt in years. It really helps my focus and ADHD too. This stuff has been a huge game changer for me!
I updated my psychiatrist on the incident and she gave me an affirming "I told you so" nod while saying "yes, I really mean it, it's important you stay as sober as possible for this to work. Not only will it keep it from working at its full potential, but as you saw, alcohol and bupropion can be a VERY dangerous combo and I have heard lots of horror stories like this one." Kinda wish she warned me more in the beginning. I wasn't aware I would go full chaos mode lol.
But she's right. It works better now that I'm sober, and I feel more optimistic and motivated than I have since I was a teenager. I'm 30 now and my future feels bright, and sobriety is no longer something I'm curious about, it's something I'm starting to take seriously. I feel like it's actually manageable and doable for this era of my life, and I'm so excited for it.
Wish me luck on my Wellbutrin and sobriety journey, and best of luck to all of you trying out medications and working on your mental health!

For context: I started Adderall about a week ago. This is my first time using stimulant medication for my ADHD. I also have depression and anxiety and I’ve been taking Lexapro for a few months now.
Ever since I started Adderall, I’ve noticed that sweet things like chocolate, soda, and fruit don’t taste as sweet anymore. They taste pretty bland and even a little bitter. This is the only change in taste I’ve noticed, other taste profiles are normal. I read up on potential Adderall side effects and learned about “Adderall Tongue” where the medication causes your mouth to get dryer. This can ultimately lead to a change in taste. However, I have not noticed my mouth being any dryer. I’ve only noticed the change in taste.
I am wondering if other people who are/have taken Adderall have experienced a change in taste, especially without a dry mouth. If so, did it go away for you after taking the medication for a while?
Thank you in advance!

I indulged in half a bar of stone-ground chocolate after lunch this afternoon (PMS; was desperately craving it & otherwise am not a sweets/chocolate person on a regular basis). I noticed about an hour after that I felt incredibly zippy/borderline cracked-out — akin to when I’ve taken small amounts of (prescribed) Adderall — and realized it was/is the caffeine from the chocolate that’d hit my system. I hadn’t even thought of it beforehand; I used to eat these as period treats on occasion before quitting coffee (they’re organic, low-sugar, locally made, etc.), and never felt anything like this. I’m nearing my six-month mark, and continue to be amazed at how sensitive my body has become now that I’m no longer consuming caffeine. Hoping I’ll still be able to sleep tonight. 😅

I've been wanting to make a post about this for a while since I feel it could be important to understanding the origin of my SCT symptoms, and possibly of others here, but I want to get some feedback from this community before I explore this route further.
What first got me into researching the link between my SCT symptoms and histamine sensitivity was the sudden increase in symptoms I was getting after certain meals while I was titrating Qelbree. You can read more about the details in my journal post here https://www.reddit.com/SCT/comments/16j3l6o/strattera_to_qelbree_journal/, but long story short after tracing back what foods may have been causing this I found that one thing in common was foods that are known to be histamine liberators. Not necessarily high in histamine content but that they cause histamine release from mast cells, which can lead to inflammation in areas including the brain. The meals that gave me the strongest reactions were those with tomatoes (including tomato-based sauces) or beans/legumes, which are very strong histamine liberators. In both cases within maybe half an hour of eating I experienced a return of several SCT symptoms. Namely, it felt like my short term and working memory were shot, it became hard to focus my vision and I would zone out/stare blankly a lot, and my speed of word recall and word choice became awful. It also felt like Qelbree was helping much less with sustaining and reorienting of attention, and that I had an "inflamed" feeling within my sinuses. These symptoms took about 4-5 days to go away and for Qelbree to feel as effective again. I later confirmed I would get similar but not as severe reactions from other histamine liberators such as citrus fruits, bananas, chocolates, cheeses, and certain nuts.
I remember I've always felt like these kinds of foods never agreed with me (i.e. even before medications) but the change in symptoms was never this severe. Then again going from bad to somewhat worse is a lot less noticeable or concerning than going from pretty good to bad. It got me wondering if it was Qelbree that was worsening my reaction to these foods or if it was uncovering the actual root cause of my SCT by improving my baseline. I looked and couldn't find any evidence that Qelbree specifically worsens histamine sensitivity or affects mast cells, but I did find a few anecdotal reports of other ADHD meds like Adderall worsening histamine intolerance. But I did also notice when reading about others struggling with histamine induced brain fog how similar their cognitive symptoms were to mine (both pre-and post-medication), which made me think this was uncovering an underlying problem for me rather than creating a new one.
Fast forward to about 2 weeks ago, I was about to start Intuniv to try to improve the executive functioning and working memory issues that Qelbree didn't help as much with, when I found out it potentially has mast cell stabilizing properties. This was exciting because if true then perhaps it could prevent such dramatic recurrence of symptoms when exposed to mast cell triggers. So I planned to test out food reactions once I adjusted to the starting dose and compare to how they were previously. The first time I tried Intuniv I was expecting to feel just sedation at first, and while I definitely did feel this, I also felt a very sudden and noticeable opening of the airways in my sinuses such that it became easier to breathe and to take full breaths. Interestingly it was almost identical to what would happen early on when I was on high doses of Strattera, where after a dose I would feel an opening of my airways coupled with an increase in thinking speed. However this reaction from Strattera tended to not last all day (especially at 80 mg when I would crash in the afternoon), whereas with Intuniv my sinuses feel more open 24/7. Though with Intuniv I don't get the same increase in thinking speed. After about a week I started experimenting with trigger foods again, mostly chocolates and cheese, and I've noticed a definite decrease in the severity of my reactions to them. I still feel the inflamed feeling in my sinuses and my memory/thinking speed takes a hit, but the severity and duration are definitely reduced.
Taking both of these experiences together already makes it seem like histamine/mast cell issues/inflammation are a core part of the problem for me, but my reactions to certain supplements further support this. I react very well to most methyl donors, especially those related to the backup homocysteine recycling path and choline (e.g. betaine, phosphatidylcholine, CDP choline). I also respond really well to creatine. All of these have in common that they should theoretically increase SAMe levels, which is a compound needed by the HNMT enzyme to metabolize histamine. CDP choline I especially respond well to, which not only is good for producing more acetylcholine which can reduce inflammation, but it's also been shown to reduce blood histamine levels. It also was one of the supplements that really made Strattera feel like it started working again after it was ineffective for months.
I could go on about some of my theories about the link between histamine and SCT but first I want to hear from others if you think this could be a good lead. Do you also react to histamine liberators? Has this changed after starting ADHD meds? If you think histamine sensitivity is a good lead do you think this NRI + Intuniv + methyl donor supplements combo is logical for treatment and/or should I be considering more anti-inflammatory/gut healing supplements?
Even if it turns out histamine sensitivity is unrelated or is just an effect of certain medications like Qelbree, I still think it's good for me to point out that the NRI + methyl donor supplements + low histamine liberator diet combo has so far been the most powerful combination for improving my SCT, much more than any of them alone, and I'm curious if it can help others too.

✨𖤐 Per the five points of a pentacle, these are the objects I'd use to summon each Mom 𖤐✨:
Maci:

1. A 24 Pack of Bud Light.
2. A pair of piss-yellow ear gauges.
3. A teal ribbon bumper sticker for PCOS awareness.
4. An overplayed, oversized “skater” brand t-shirt all the Kyles and Kevins were sporting circa 2007. Has to be red or black, because “edgy”.
5. A particle board with an Old English ‘M’ etched into the wood for her tacky-ass wall.

​
Farrah:

1. A jar of bougie marinara sauce.
2. Pom-poms.
3. A bottle of water-based lube.
4. A box of Ex-Lax chocolates.
5. A home-waxing kit.

​
Amber:

1. A bottle of benzos.
2. Some of Mainstays finest mass-printed Marilyn Monroe swag.
3. Oversized hoop earrings from a random truckstop off I-69.
4. Fleece pajama pants with a Tinkerbell print. Can substitute Tweety Bird or Cookie Monster in place of Tink.
5. A comfy couch.

​
Cate:

1. A fluffy zebra-print hoodie.
2. A self-help book for children of abusive and absent parents full of uplifting catchphrases for Cate to quote on social media.
3. A pamphlet on how to appropriately cope with gender disappointment.
4. A large cheese pizza with a side of Hidden Valley ranch.
5. A pony.

​
Jenelle:

1. A half ounce of over-cured, bottom-shelf discount weed.
2. A bag of crushed-up Adderall.
3. A stolen credit card.
4. Hair feathers.
5. The freshest roadkill east of the Mississippi.

​
Leah:

1. A big gulp of Mountain Dew.
2. An MLM starter pack specifically catered to bored, uninspired Midwestern/Appalachian STAHMs and housewives.
3. An ‘Xtra Value’ tub of cheese puffs.
4. A tube of the blackest black drugstore mascara.
5. A floral adorned ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ print enclosed within a Dollar General picture frame.

​
Chelsea:

1. A sad beige throw pillow with some generic phrase such as ‘Gather’ or “Blessed” stitched into it.
2. An overpriced buffalo check flannel.
3. A set of faux deer horns.
4. A high-end smokey neutral eyeshadow palette which costs more than the other options in Sephora despite having an identical shade range to 80% of the other palettes.
5. A bottle of the discontinued self-tanner from Victoria’s Secret with the obnoxiously artificial scent.

​
Kail:

1. A tube of Lip Venom.
2. A handheld mirror, as she’s her one true love.
3. An extra stretchy pair of women’s athleticwear leggings.
4. Diapers. For Kail along with her babies, since y’all know she’s developed some incontinence issues at this point in the game.
5. A green-washed pack of flushable wipes for the aforementioned reason.

​
Briana:

1. A venti Frappuccino with 3 extra shots of espresso.
2. Brass knuckles.
3. A printed screenshot of low-tier male validation in Bri’s direction.
4. Plan B One-Step.
5. A prescription for Doxycycline.

​
Jade:

1. A pan of Ulta Beauty neon orange matte eyeshadow.
2. A pack of menthols.
3. A line of coke.
4. An e.l.f. Lash kit.
5. A state-endorsed collaborative problem solving booklet for parents who can’t stop yelling at their kids for doing typical kid shit.

Hi y’all,
New to the sub and figured I would jump right in and ask for advice. I’ve been working out consistently for just over 7 years for about 3-4 days a week, rotating between different body groups. I also make sure to do some cardio, which usually involves at minimum 10-15 min on the tread or playing some basketball.
Before this past February, I was consistently ranging between 185-195 (5’9) depending on how strict I was with my diet for the week (I have a weakness for chocolate). I felt confident in the shape I was, though at points, I wished I was able to cut more fat around the lower belly, but that wasn’t too much of a big deal. The problem that I always also had as well was that I have a heart condition that limits what I can put into my body, which ultimately scared me enough to really stay natural without any supplements.
Back in February of this year, I decided to take the leap and look into resolving my constant focusing problems, which led me to being diagnosed for ADHD. I was prescribed 5mgs of adderall at first, which was ultimately bumped up to 10 after about 3 weeks, which is where it still currently is. My focusing issue diminished, and I noticed I was able to do a lot more things within my day without delaying or frustrating myself with second guessing, ultimately making me feel a lot more confident in speaking and just how I dealt with day to day life. As many of you probably know, adderall has many side effects , including weight loss and diet suppression. After about 3 months I dropped down from 190 to 170 and from then till now, weigh around 162. I feel really healthy and feel as though I’m able to do a lot more with my body for longer, but after I took a look in the mirror today at my new gym, I realized I looked straight up like skin and bones. This scared the shit out of me, which led me to this sub Reddit. Dropping 30 pounds has me now a little shocked, and am looking for any advice. Thank you for reading.

30 yr Female Height: 5’2” Weight: 270 lbs Conditions: ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar 1, CPTSD Meds: Gabapentin, Fluexotine, Adderall, Prazosin, Hydroxyzine
A few weeks ago I had a small piece of THC infused chocolate. Problem was, apparently it was a very high concentration, so that small piece was way too much. I ended up with full body spasms that kept me from being able to get out of bed, could not speak coherently, and had some visual hallucinations. I think this last 30 minutes to an hour.
I did some research into “Weed Shakes” and while it seems like what I went through, there was zero chance of me being in control of my body enough to massage muscles or walk it out, which seems to be the most common advice.
Obviously, I won’t be repeating that experience any time soon. However, since then my muscles in general have felt extremely weak, and I will randomly get spasms in my legs and arms atleast once or twice a day.
So my question is two fold- 1) Is weed shakes an accurate term for what I experienced? And 2) how long before I should talk to my doctor about the after effects? In NY, so entirely legal.

I am a 2-way (Pitcher and outfieldeDesignated Hitter) college baseball player. I currently only take creapure Creatine and I used to take the Naked brand Chocolate Flavored Mass Gainer for my protein shakes. I'm now a healthy 220 lbs, at only 5'11, so I don't know if continuing to take a gainer is the best thing for my health going forward.
I always have a cup of coffee in the mornings, and I was considering getting a greens supplement like the Bloom ones I always see at Target, but I've heard mixed things about those.
I take prescribed Adderall XR and Zoloft daily in the mornings, so it's hard to find supplements that are safe for me to take that don't interact with my medications. Are there any supplements I should be taking that I am missing that wouldn't have harmful medication interactions?
Any advice that you could provide would be fantastic, thank you!

Hey all, first time poster and recent diagnosed ADHDer here! Since diagnosis, I've been put on adderall. It's made a world of difference with behaviors, outbursts, and general symptoms. It's also really helped to improve my dopamine food habits. Like a bag of chocolate in a sitting habit. Since I'm feeling more in control, I've been working on making better food choices. Now to the meat of my tale. I recently tried a swap from my usual carb heavy breakfast to protien waffles with peanut butter. The first few days were fine, but today all I could feel was the mealy texture of them as I chewed. Like that polenta or cream of wheat gritty texture. Made me gag, and I still feel nauseous. So protien waffles are a bust. I also can't handle any strong odor foods in the morning because they trigger nausea too. Anyone else feel the same? What works for you? If you're still reading, thanks for being here. This has been a difficult journey for me, finally getting diagnosed at 29, and I'm grateful for any tips or support you guys can provide.
TL/DR: I can't handle gritty texture or strong odor breakfast foods. Do you have tips for high protien options that won't make me nauseated?

We have two children; Oscar (will be 4 in 2 mos) and Jason (5 1/2). Oscar is extremely defiant if told no to anything he wants, Jason has epic tantrums when denied anything, both are extremely hyper (way beyond normal, seeing them when with other kids at events confirms this), neither will stand still and let us talk to them about anything. Any attempts at discipline results in their escalating their bad behavior. In short, the kids are totally in charge of the household, not the adults.
Mom (my wife, f33) is the poster girl for extremely permissive parenting. I (m35) try to use the Authoritative method, but with zero rules or limits for the children, there’s little I can do. Also, I’m a First Responder, am at work 24/7 for over half the week normally, and often more because without the overtime, we couldn’t survive. Mom has boundary issues, no question. But with the kids it’s extreme. She early on latched onto gentle parenting, with heavy emphasis on ‘Redirection’ as a go-to response to everything. For outside advice relies on Facebook groups for GP and “Spirited” kids. But most of her ‘redirecting’ is actually rewarding the kids for misbehaving and not listening to instructions. I’ve seen her: give Oscar chocolate when he refused to get into his car seat, buy them toys when they act out in the store, respond to one hitting the other or an adult by making baby talk and tickling him, get one to the dinner table by dancing with him all the way there (naturally he was out of his seat again within seconds). Typical example: a kid asks for a sugary treat, she says “no”, the kid starts to whine, she then immediately either gives the child what they asked for, or “redirects” them by giving the kid a different sugary treat. Rinse and repeat, all day long, over and over and over.
It’s as if she is totally incapable of saying no and standing by it. And totally incapable of understanding that every time a parent gives in to toddler demands, they are teaching that toddler that “no” really just means “if I keep demanding it, I can have whatever I want”. I rarely see her go shopping without bringing home toys for both kids; 2-3 times a week she does this. The poor kids are nearly incapable of just normal play activities. They will play with a new toy for a few minutes, then toss it aside. When they do play with a toy from the endless supply they have, it almost always turns into the toy being used as a hammer, or otherwise tested to destruction. The number of times I’ve come home early in the morning and seen them eating candy or with a sucker in each mouth at breakfast time is epic.
I’m at my wits end. I’m currently searching for a therapist (I have very good insurance) for us to see, but Mom is dragging her feet and I frankly don’t think she will go once I find one. Mom is also recently talking about getting our older child a prescription for Ritalin or Adderall. Because she is 100 percent convinced that it can’t be her parenting, it has to be that the kids are inherently Special Spirited Sensitive children, and therefor are incapable of controlling themselves like other kids. I’m at the point where if she refuses to take a professional therapist’s advice on limits and boundaries, I’m going to leave.
Edit: To be clear, I believe Gentle Parenting is quite sound; Janet Lansbury knows her stuff, especially about boundaries. She makes it very clear that the parents must be in charge, and that rules and consistent limits are essential for children to be able to develop healthy boundaries. But my wife only hears that being 'connected' at all times is everything, and refuses to even discuss creating a set of rules for the children to follow, much less making a plan to have consistent limits. It's like she's stuck in the Unconditional Love phase that a baby or 18 month old needs from a mom, and cannot move beyond it. I'm watching her destroy my children's mental health, and their ability to develop and grow up. And I simply cannot stay and live with this.
Edit two: Changed Angela Lansbury to Janet Lansbury, thanks to a kind stranger pointing out my error.

Here's What Hilaria Baldwin Eats in a Day
The yogi, author, wife and mother of four kids (ages 5 and under!) keeps it healthy—even when life gets crazy.
By Lynn Andriani
When it comes to Baldwin's daily sustenance, she says there's what she likes to do and then what actually happens.
The irony!
Still, even if her best-laid plans go awry, there's one thing she does do to help avoid feeling overstuffed before bed: Baldwin says she moderates her meals during the day, so she's ready to consume nutrients at night.
Breakfast
In the morning, Baldwin often has a protein shake made with a scoop of chocolate protein powder, some peanut butter and a liquid such as oat, almond or hemp milk, or coconut water.
Translation: 3 💊💊💊 30mg IR Adderalls, 5 cups of Madman Espresso ☕, and 4 Marlboro Menthols 🚬
And lately, she says, she and her husband, Alec, have been dropping their kids off at their morning activities and then going out for coffee together.
LEONELLA!!! GET THESE DAMN KIDS AWAY FROM ME!!!
"I try to get energy from what I eat and how I move my body, but it is nice to have that kick-start in the morning from warm coffee."
Her goal: Start the day with whole grains; the fiber helps keep her full until lunch. That said, she says there are plenty of days when she finishes her kids' cereal, or runs out the door with a piece of bread—and calls it breakfast.
Lunch
Baldwin isn't strictly vegan (she avoids dairy and most meat, but eats eggs and fish)—yet she packs a lot of vegetables into her day.
Lunches are often salads made with kale, cucumbers 🥒💥💚 and tomatoes from the family's garden, and she also loves midday meals from their local Hampton Chutney, a sort of healthy food/Indian sandwich shop that serves dosas (light, crispy, sourdough crepes made from rice and lentils) stuffed with all manner of ingredients, from avocado and arugula, to roasted broccoli and tomatoes.
Sure, Jamil
Dinner
Before she had kids, Baldwin used to avoid eating her biggest meal at night—but these days, she has to bend her own rules.
This is a big thing with disordered eating and starvation diets: don't eat after 3 pm or 6 pm, that way you'll be more likely to "burn off" what you've consumed earlier. She likely still follows this pattern, despite what she's claiming here
Once the children are asleep, she and Alec have dinner together.
Every goddamn night. Kids! It's 4:30 pm! Time for bed!
"That's when my husband and I get to connect with each other. We're at a stage in our lives where that is the only time when we can eat quietly. We savor that time," she says.
This is where I push uneaten food around on my plate, slurp Rosé, and fantasize I'm married to Kim Basinger's husband
Fish and eggs are usually on the menu; if she and Alec are at a restaurant, they'll often order a few different things and share.
The day we spoke, Baldwin was planning to cook a vegan paella using quinoa, saffron, olive oil, white wine, vegetable broth and vegetables from their garden.
DEAD! I DIED! Hillary's famous Vegan Paella! 🥘⚰️💀🥀
Dessert
Baldwin says she loves strong flavors: olives, strong coffee, seaweed.
She probably makes a "delicious healthy smoothie" 🥤 out of all of these mixed together 🤮
So it's not surprising that when it's time for a treat, she skips right over blander options such as vanilla ice cream, instead preferring rich dark chocolate and tangy lemon sorbet.
K.
Her latest obsession: Bark Thins, the slivers of dark chocolate mixed with a range of salty and sweet ingredients.
Hilaria's Oprah mag interview: SPONSORED BY BARK THINS!
Alec likes the pretzel-flavored bark, but Hilaria, perhaps unsurprisingly given her penchant for intense tastes, like the sharp and zippy mint.
🙄
Fin.
Link:
https://www.oprah.com/health_wellness/what-hilaria-baldwin-eats-in-a-day#:~:text=Lunches%20are%20often%20salads%20made,with%20all%20manner%20of%20ingredients%2C

Ok so before you all flip out and say I'm not for sure cured, I've been on these threads for 9 months and recently knocked this out in June. I waited 3 months to post anything and so far so good. Here is my protocol below.
My diet is still healthy and clean but when I slip up, of course I pass gas here and there but absolutely nothing near insufferable like I used to be. The only time I'm gassy, even a little, is after a solid binge (alcohol and pizza 4 days straight).
My Sibo started when I had food poisoning and then 2 months later I needed a fat dose of antibiotics before and after a surgery. So obviously I blew out my entire microbiome and destroyed any chance for my body to recover from the initial food poisoning. I had rashes, insane amounts of gas, constipation (9 days no poops) and bloating.
I took a breath test (trio smart lab) and scored around 60 for methane and 9 for hydrogen. I got prescribed Xifaxan paired with Neomycin. DO NOT TAKE THE NEOMYCIN, YOU MIGHT GO DEAF. The second your ears start to ring, STOP TAKING IT!!!!! When that happened to me, I literally cried because I knew my chances of knocking this out went from 80% to 30% without the two working together.
SO I FIGURED OUT ANOTHER PLAN
SIBO Protocol:
Xifaxan (completely flat no bloat poops everyday)
Allicin 450mg 6x a day for 4 weeks (2 pills 3x a day- breakfast lunch then dinner) *Allicin is a garlic extract aka the part of the garlic that qualifies it to be natures antibiotic- its equivalent to 650 cloves so this is why it's condensed into a pill*
ADP oregano 3x a day for 4 weeks
biofilm disrupter 2x in the morning 2x at night
Eating whatever you want, high fodmap, so the bad guys can come out and be exposed to the meds.
add in saccharomyces boulardii for the duration of time that you are taking the ADP oregano & the allicin. At least 1 in the AM & 1 in the PM. Its a non pathogenic yeast that is going to help reduce risk of relapse.
*(After I’m done with the allicin and ADP)*
IMMEDIATELY start on L. acidophilus which is a specific probiotic that SHOULD be in the small intestine so you want that to be the FIRST probiotic you reintroduce.
​
after antibiotics:
No gluten no dairy- 1-2 months (I've slipped up but try not to, my rule of thumb was if there aren't any seed oils or gums in it you can eat it- moderation is still key)
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Then feel free to eat whatever, slowly introduce and test the waters. Beans are a HARD NO for me forever but that's common. I can officially eat garlic and onion again, GOD BLESS!!!!!!!
I don't bloat, I poop once or twice a day, I eat higher protein and a nice amount of carbs, if I slip up and eat chips, its not the end of the world, if I binge or get hammered too many days in a row, ill naturally have the same amount of gas as I would have if I was in high school. I avoid vegetables because they're sprayed into oblivion and they don't sit that well with me so my meals consist of turkey, steak, eggs, cottage cheese, bacon, rice, homemade bread (yay) and sometimes chocolate and honey. Berries are great in handfuls and so are RX bars when I'm on the go. Seasoning of any kind is a YES :)
If you feel like something is re-triggering you, do this part for a month and keep strengthening your immune system:
Allicin 450mg 6x a day for 4 weeks (2 pills 3x a day- breakfast lunch then dinner)
ADP oregano 3x a day for 4 weeks
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Best of luck, don't lose hope! If the Xifaxan isn't covered by insurance and you can't sack up $3k, try ordering from Mexico or Canada OR ASK FOR SAMPLES FROM LIKE 4 DIFFERENT DOCTORS and you will accumulate the dose you need for the 2 week duration.
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Love u
EDIT: This part is gonna suck for some of you, but if you take adderall you have a high chance of relapsing. Amphetamines with fuck you up royally. Not as bad as opiates and antibiotics, but they slowly crush your motility and you’re back to square one. I recommend every therapy under the sun to recover from any pills you’re taking and to slowly taper off anything you’re taking to finally revive your gut and brain. It’s possible- prayer and therapy is very helpful. Wishing you success