Makeup poems for boyfriend

I recently saw a tiktok post of a woman who got “traumatized” by how she found out her boyfriend was wearing full face makeup on his phone and ofc they will always equate men wearing makeup to being gay so the comments are gonna be homophobic, but this certain comment struck a nerve in me which says “so sad men ain’t wanna be men anymore” so i replied with “wait til you find out manly men can be attracted to men too” and they replied with “you’re literally your profile” smthn like that (my pfp was ariana grande edited as a clown since it’s an arianator acc” and replied back with “oh you’re stupid what i meant is gay men can be masculine too” and i think they or maybe the creator deleted that reply which i replied to with “so we’re deleting replies now gay men can be masculine too deal with it” and it was deleted again
also sorry for my english

A few years ago during that time when I was in high school, me and my ex friend went to different schools, I wanted to go to the same school as her but I couldn't since it was too far.
I told her that I couldn't go to the same school but she told me she was glad I didn't go to the same place as her because if I did, me and her wouldn't be friends at all.
You know the reason why she said that? She said if I went there, other people would take me away from her and that she would hate me which I found that stupid. Fast forward a few years later I had a boyfriend during college (he's now an ex) When I went out to town with my family, she called to me crying (while I was in a resturant) because apparently I've been ghosting her and ignoring her saying I've been too busy to even talk.
During this time I was struggling with my mental health, my relationship and college, She would start arguments with me saying I don't have time for her, not texting back saying I'm drifting away from her. Not to mention she wrote a poem about me(I have the poem on my phone) , I didn't know what to say and she asked you're not mad I wrote a poem about you? You won't sue me right?
And I was like it's fine but in my head it wasn't fine. She would make it about herself, I listened to her constantly complaining and she would trauma dump the past. She brought up the fact I didn't turn up to choir practice while I was getting bullied.
She blamed me for that not the girl who bullied me, not to mention she and the bully were friends on Facebook, the girl who bullied me would talk trash about me to her and she would tell me the horrible things the bully said about me, I was so hurt and betrayed yet I still kept her as a friend.
2 years go by and this was before Covid hit, the day she arrived I took her to my dance practice so she could watch before my day. She complained saying that she's tired, didn't take her meds, telling me she wasted her money to come visit me. I was embarrassed when she was having a tantrum infront of everyone that I had to take her somewhere else.
It felt like a burning iron everytime she complained I was flustered and I felt tired just by listening to her. On the evening the day before my birthday party, there was no food at the house since my mother was busy preparing for my debut. She hasnt eaten food or taken her meds but blamed me again, so we both had to walk to mcdonalds in the evening around 8pm just for her to eat.
The day of my birthday party, everything was going well, I introduced her to my college friends and others but after the party we went back to our rooms getting ready for bed, she asked me why didn't you introduce me to those boys? Why didn't you spend time with me? I didn't know what to say anymore because I was tired genuinely that we didn't talk until morning.
Then after a few days I haven't heard from her, She was talking to one of my guy friends but the thing is she would only talk to me if she had problems with him and would come crying in call and texting me about it. I have been reassuring her every time she had problems with my guy friend and it was tiring, he even mentioned to me she was controlling and bossy and he was right .
I never complained about anything between me and her but she wanted to make problems that I didn't talk to her or wasn't talking to her enough, I gave her space and I gave myself space but she still complained why I didn't message her but I did several times but in other days I wouldn't talk to her because I was scared.
I never talked about my mental problems and my trauma with my SA past to her because she'll make me feel worse and trauma dump and mention the past about me leaving her repeatedly when I was bullied by the same girl she was friends with.
I wanted to cut ties with her but I was afraid that she will get mad at me because she had issues with her behaviour for always getting angry and shouting at me when we get into an argument in call and would blame me.
But I was genuinely afraid at the same time losing my only friend because I had no one else to talk to. After a month or two I was messaging her and she brought up the vaccine topic, during that time she was a student nurse and I didn't really want to talk about it but she insisted telling me I should take the vaccine. If I didn't take it apparently I would affect her "family, friends and patients" but what about me? What am I to her? Me and her live in different cities 1 hr away from each other, so how can I affect them if I live so far away? That doesn't make sense.
She told me If I didn't take it she told me people would think I'm a dirty pest and a scumbag.
I was so done, honestly so done after she posted our private conversation on her private story but apparently she deleted it afterwards just for me to see? Not sure if I believe that. I blocked her on every social media and after that I felt better, the heavy burden I held for so long was gone. I was happier without her.
I never even got birthday gifts from her even when I gave hers every year so I stopped gifting her. I wasted 9 years of friendship and stopped trusting people after that.

I (16f) used to have a good relationship with her. Now she’s changing her pronouns and sexuality weekly including demanding we all use made up pronouns for her. She’s also dressing in very skimpy alt clothes and wearing heavy makeup. She’s gotten multiple piercings and even cut and dyed her hair without permission.
She’s even faking DID, a serious and devastating condition my boyfriend suffers from. She claims to have multiple alters, each with a different set of neopronouns she expects people to remember. She’s calling herself a trauma less system.
She is also imsulting me, calling me a ‘fat fucking transphobic bitch’ and me and my boyfriend “cishet scum.’ She deliberately embarrasses me all the time and also my parents.
She has been eating less and less and is getting seriously skinny. She’s also constantly commenting on people’s bodies, most especially mine, even pinching me and poking me to ’look at how fat I am.’ I am 5’4” and 135lbs. She even remarks when people are bloated. She is getting more and more rude and insulting. What should I do?

This thread is about to be very long, and I will be adding to it frequently, but this is how I would write season 3 of Euphoria since Sam is obviously preoccupied with god knows what. This came to me in a dream so call it fate ig.
Background- since season 2 ends with the card that Rue stayed sober through the rest of junior year, and Lexi’s play takes place in the spring, I thought it’d be best to pick up on the first day of their senior year in the fall. This means that Cassie, Maddie, and Nate have all graduated, leaving us with Rue, Jules, Lexi, Elliot, Bobbi, Ethan, BB & Kat. Also Gia, the Parents, and Ali. Anyways here goes.
Episode 1- I Stayed Sober (Mostly)
[Scene 1]: The Last First Day Episode One opens with a black screen that has flashes of red and blue, like police sirens, that increasingly become more intense and vibrant, to indicate Rue coming out of a dissociative state. She narrates over the screen:
“You want to know the worst part about staying sober? It’s not the withdrawals or the cravings, even though they’re pretty fucking bad. It’s not even the depression or the emptiness you feel without your poisonous security blanket protecting you from your worst thoughts and emotions. The worst part about staying sober, is that you’re trapped back in the fucked up world that made you want to do drugs in the first place”
The red and blue screen shifts to police sirens with cops yelling in an attempt to evacuate everyone from the school. It’s raining and the sky is gray and muddy. All the students are now wearing muted uniforms in the school colors, blue black and white (the uniforms are explained later) The scene looks very muted and drained. As the students flood out of the school in a frenzy, we see Rue and Lexi standing at the exit, uninterested in the theatrics and significantly changed from last season.
Rue has a brighter disposition to herself, appearing more soft and bright, while keeping her moody demeanor. Her look shows that she is trying her best to be more optimistic, despite going through hell from her plethora of mental illness that have now taken over due to her sobriety. Still, she looks healthier and brighter.
Lexi, on the other hand, has a more goth like appearance. In addition to her new dark black hair with red colored streaks (red to signify her stepping into her power) she also looks less approachable with more gothic motifs such as skulls and roses on her increased accessories. We learn later that this is an attempt to reinvent herself after last year’s play incident and fez dying. She seems uninterested and annoyed, but has a more confident air after being put in the spotlight and no longer having to live under her sisters shadow. She has become more monotone, speaking her mind and embracing her realistic perspective of life.
They begin walking to the parking lot, looking for Lexi’s mom among the waves of chaotic students pushing past them.
Rue: Of course, just our fucking luck that someone decides to shoot up the school our first day of senior year.
Lexi: It wasn’t even a real shooting. I heard some kid brought a gun to show off and got tackled by his teacher. Everyone started freaking out, and now I’m missing the first day of my AP English class.
Rue: Not like you need it. I think you proved that you can write a good story that makes waves and changes lives (sarcasm)
Lexi: 😐 that’s not funny Rue. That play is all anyone could talk about all summer. Everyone hates me because they think it’s my fault that we all have to wear these stupid uniforms.
Rue: actually that was Cassie’s fault, that fight got a new edit every week. My favorite was the #mollywhop dance (starts doing a dance that is significant of Maddie slapping Cassie and Cassie riding a carousel)
Lexi: Rue I’m serious. I got so sick of living in the background that I put my entire life on display in front of all of East Highland just for my sister to make everything about her.
Rue: Well good writing is supposed to be controversial. And take it as a victory, at least you’re not a nobody anymore.
Random Guy: Hey Lexi, I got a horse you can ride (does the dance)
Cop: Keep it moving sir!
They get to the end of the parking lot and sit on the pavement.
Lexi: 🙄of course she’s late.
Rue: hey, it’s a new year. You’re no longer the girl whose sister was the hottest cheerleader in school and I’m no longer the resident drug addict that everyone is waiting to die.
Lexi: you’re right. That’s Elliot. Or Jules. Have you checked on either of them since his overdose?
Rue: no…fuck them both. They seem happy in their stupid relationship with their stupid anniversary posts. I had to block them both before I killed myself or worse. They can die for all I care.
Lexi: well he almost did. I heard he had a stroke and is in a wheelchair until he learns how to walk again.
Rue: trying to hide that she’s concerned really?…i mean i don’t care, but that’s what he deserves right? Can’t do drugs that carelessly without consequences. Ask me how I know.
Lexi: I don’t think anyone deserves to OD. I hope he gets some help.
Rue: he has help, that bitch is playing housewife which she probably loves. Attention seeking whore. You know I’m sick of talking about Jules and Elliot and Cassie and every other narcissist with a victim complex that keeps trying to make themselves the main character. pulls her closer with a shoulder hug this year it’s about us. Starting over and getting a chance to finally make it out of this stupid town. You have colleges lined up at the door and I’ve been sober for almost a year. No one is going to take this year from us. That why you blocked Cassie, and that’s why I had any memory of Jules permanently erased from my brain. Out of sight out of mind.
Lexi: I guess you’re right. New year, new us.
Rue: alright. Now call your mom so we can get out of the rain. I hate cops more than I hate being fully clothed and wet.
Lexi: (finally smiling) almost as much as they hate you
Rue: hey fuck you, I still have to go to court for that.
Lexi: too soon? 🤭
Rue: just dial the fucking phone
Rue [vo while it shows Suze driving up and the girls walking across the parking lot]: Despite how terrible last year was, I feel like Lexi and I finally got back to how things used to be. Before the drugs, before the funerals. Just Rue and Lexi like it’s always been. Sometimes I forget how great life was when I was just a kid. But drugs tend to take away everything that makes life, life. I just wish Fezco had stayed alive long enough to finally see me sober. Then maybe Lexi wouldn’t be so serious and emo these days. But she took care of me, and now it’s my turn. I just don’t know what’s worse, losing the love of your life before you get a chance to say it love you (shot of Lexi rubbing a cross chain fez gave her looking at the sky before getting in the car) or thinking you found the love of your life just to end up as strangers. (As Rue opens the door to get in, she sees Jules wheeling Elliot across the parking lot. She stares for a bit before getting in the car.) Either way, we all died. (Rue gets in the car before Jules can see her.)
Jules looks over at the car but doesn’t see anyone. She looks distraught, hoping to catch a glimpse of Rue, who she hasn’t seen since the play. She’s dressed in a mostly black school girl uniform with a short skirt and corset that she’s clad in neon accessories and coquettish garters and bows. Her hair is longer than in season 2 but shorter than season 1. This is to signify that she’s embracing her femininity more with Elliot, but is stepping into a more powerful, dominant version of femininity. She’s content with her relationship, and rebuilding herself after the abuse she endured in relationship with rue. Now she’s just worried about repeating the same story with Elliot. She looks off into the distance, paused in a state of reflection.
Elliot: babe are you good? Jules: what? Yea just thought I saw something. (Continues wheeling him across the parking lot) Elliot: It was probably a ghost. HEY CASPER, LOOK BUT DONT TOUCH HOMIE Jules: (laughing) you’re so unserious Elliot: what do you mean? I’m serious. I don’t want his ectoplasm fucking up your makeup. Jules: You’re the one who keeps fucking up my makeup Elliot: and I’ll do it again kisses her winces ow fuck Jules: relax dude. You know the doctor said you can’t stretch your spine much after your stroke. Elliot: and you know I told that doctor nothing can kill me and I’m basically a god Jules: even when you’re sick you’re still crazy Elliot: crazy for you Jules: yea yea, just be happy it was a stroke and not a death sentence. whispers in his you know if you would’ve died I would have to kill you. Elliot: besides the fact that that makes zero sense, you know it wasn’t my fault Jules: I’m just glad that Laurie lady got put behind bars. Who the fuck puts fentanyl in Weed? Elliot: a plug who can’t find enough junkies to buy their fentanyl. That’s why I always sniff my weed before I smoke it. Jules: and that sniff put you in a wheelchair, so who’s god now? Elliot: mmmm, still me. I live close enough to the school that I don’t have to pay for a van, and I have a hot chick with a huge dick as a nurse. Not to mention loads of settlement money from suing the biggest plug in our area and a med card with all the unlaced weed I can smoke. I’m up as fuck. Jules: or too high to be traumatized Elliot: And (dances her around his chair like a waltz until she falls in his lap) my dick still works. Jules: nice try Romeo, but your ego is showing (zips up his pants and continues pushing) Elliot: fuck, has it been like that all day? That’s embarrassing Jules: no more embarrassing than the whole school thinking you’re in a wheelchair because you couldn’t hold your oxys Elliot: it was Percs actually, thank you very much. And fuck what those bots think, I’ve been sober since that intervention. I guess you can say Rue knocked some sense into Me. Jules: (avoiding the topic of rue) did you see the comments on our last post, they called us percinstein and the coke bride Elliot: damn I guess they did know it was Percs (Now on his front porch)
Jules: (standing in front of him looking in his eyes with sentiment ) Elliot I’m serious. I’ve been the topic of conversation ever since I moved to this fucking town. I just want to have a normal year for once in my complicated life. Elliot: babe listen it’s high school. Everything is the topic of conversation and no one is normal. People talk shit because they’re bored and have no personality or sense of self outside of the useless drama they can create in their minds. But you have a life, and a future. You have an amazing, sober boyfriend who loves you and a portfolio that can get you into any art school in the world. You’re at the last step before your real life begins. I’m just happy that I have the privilege to watch. And you know I like to watch. Jules: you’re a lunatic. Elliot: I love you. Jules: I love you too. kiss
Elliot: Are you sure you can’t stay tonight Jules: I wish, but my dad is serious about making sure I get into the best school, which means spending hours look at boring virtual tours and applying early admission. Elliot: ok well I’ll be here figuring out how to pee without standing up Jules: how do our conversations always center back to your dick Elliot: I can’t talk about anything else, it’s too hard Jules: wow, you sound like my dad and I’m turned off [starts walking away] Elliot: it’s not me it’s the weed. now you make sure you make it home safe. There’s a shooter on the loose. Jules: [grabbing her bike] the gun wasn’t even loaded. besides, getting shot would not be the worst thing to happen to me. Elliot: you’re American. It always gets worse. Jules: [riding off] that’s depressing Elliot: text me when you’re home Jules: [almost gone] you have my location! Elliot: [to himself] and I still never know where you are

I (16f) am in university and my friends and boyfriend also are. However, I usually invite my little sister (14) to things that I host just to be nice. However, ever since she got a TikTok account, she has become increasingly obsessed with gender and pronouns, and is always watching these gross alt TikTokers. She changes her pronouns and sexuality weekly, including completely made up nonsense, and expects everybody to keep up.
My boyfriend has DID and now she’s claiming to be a system too, except with only fictives. Each of her “altars“ has a different set of pronouns, which she expects everyone to remember and respect. For reference, I am a traditional Catholic, and so is the rest of my family. Recently, my sister has started calling my a “fat transphobic bitch,” “cishet scum,” and a “fucking piece of shit.”
she has begun to dress in a very slutty and gross way, she wears heavy makeup, and without permission she cut her hair and had it dyed in various pride flag colous as well as getting, again without permission, multiple piercings. She has also begun to deliberately damage my belongings and verbally assault me and my friends as well as my parents. A few days ago, she threw a drink all over me at a restaurant, and was screaming at me for “misgendering” her. She is currently requesting to be called “bun/xe/fae/kitten.”
The way in which she dresses and acts is mortifying and frankly disgusting. Am I cruel if I don’t invite her to my birthday party? She will only cause a scene.

For about 2 years, I was using up one of those holiday mini sets of mascara where you get a bunch of mini sizes of mascara. I didn't like all of them, but they were in mini sizes, so I used them up fairly quickly. Well, at the beginning of this year, I finished up all the minis and have been trying to figure out how I would approach buying mascara. I didn't want to buy another set of minis because I've learned that I just don't like big fluffy mascara mascara brushes (like the one in Milk Kush Mascara), and most sample sets include a few.
I tried to buy the full size of my favorite mini from the set, which was Urban Decay Lash Freak, but it was discontinued. I went to the drug store and looked for a similar shape wand. I ended up purchasing a waterproof mascara called Lash Butterfly from L'Oréal, but I found it to be clumpy and I didn't love it. It worked well enough, though, and didn't smudge so I used it up. Then, my boyfriend bought me a Covergirl mascara (I think it was called exhibitionist?), but it was so bad that I ended up throwing it away!
A few weeks ago, I decided to give up on trying out mascaras from the drugstore and to just repurchase my old holy grail mascara from the beauty youtuber era, Benefit Roller Lash. I remembered this mascara being amazing: non clumpy, held a curl, and didn't smear. Well, I've been using it for a couple weeks now, and it's nowhere near as good as I remember it being. It doesn't hold a curl well, and I always find I have a bit of mascara smeared under my eyes at the end of the day. I'm going to use it up because I paid good money for it, but I'm glad to have this reminder that makeup products aren't always as good as we remember!
I don't want to get into the cycle of buying tons of new mascara while I try to find the best one for me, but man is it disappointing that everything I try just doesn't do what I want it to do!
Please don't recommend any new mascaras to me because I already spent money on this Roller Lash, and I do not want to be tempted to buy more. I intend on using this up, but I just wanted to rant about a disappointing purchase. I will not repurchase this mascara.

Me and my boyfriend got together near the beginning of this year, and have only been together for around three months. I've had a couple of boyfriends before him, and they were pretty healthy relationships; none of them ever put their hands on me with harmful intent, none of them ever got their heads turned or were disloyal. Just ended due to me moving away for university / moving to another town.
But this one, he does, (kind of?) he has never punched me, or slapped me, never directly hurt me. But he has done some pretty scary things. It started small, the first thing was a shove. A light shove when I was doing my makeup, it meant almost nothing to me. He apologised profusely and said it wouldn't happen again. I'm worrying because, at one point I could list all of the times he touched me in a harmful way. But now only the first instance and the worst instance stick out. It has happened so many times. The worst in my opinion was when I was sick, we were arguing, I was sitting up in bed with an ice lolly to soothe my throat. He grabbed it from me, squished it in his hand and threw it in my face. Then a little later, pulled me out of the bed and onto the floor because 'I wasn't listening to him'. I was just trying to go to sleep as I felt sick, and didn't want to continue the argument.
He always says that his reasoning for grabbing me, grabbing my phone, pulling me out of bed etc. is because I start arguments and never want to continue them. I do see what he means, I bring up something that bothers me and then I get scared when it gets heated, and so I back down, or try to stop talking about it. I realise the 'reassurance' I will get at the end of it isn't worth feeling afraid to get hurt, or pouring my heart out to someone who later will make fun of me with his friends. (I've seen messages of this happening, and now whenever I open up to him I feel so stupid. I struggle through it to communicate for the sake of saving the relationship. I love him, I don't want to start fresh. He is the only thing that makes this town feel like home, can you blame me?)
The main incidents I bring up are: him downloading Tinder and arranging to sleep with someone else after an argument (he responds with, I never went through with it, I thought it was over, even though we were still texting at the time, joking with eachother on good terms in my opinion). I also want to mention that this argument wasn't even an argument. He called me his ex's name and I got hurt, said I needed space and time to heal. My mindset the whole time was 'it will get better, we can get through this' and his seemed to be 'I'm going to sleep with someone else to hurt her'. And it worked. I'm so hurt. Whenever we have sex now I can't concentrate because I worry I'm not enough. I still do have sex with him, but I go to the bathroom or hide in bed and I cry afterwards. I can't get turned on, or wet, sex always hurts me because I just think about how he would throw me away in a heartbeat for a Tinder hookup. I cry when I see myself in the mirror, I used to love how I looked. I was popular in secondary school, sixth form and people tell me I am typically attractive, but nothing can explain the disgust I feel when I see myself now. I hate my hair, my face, my body. It wasn't enough to keep him loyal, to keep him from telling his girl bestfriend all of my family issues, to keep him from mocking me saying 'Did you get hit recently' referring to my bad relationship with my dad. It hurts me so badly, I'm sitting near him now, my eyes are watering and my heart is aching. I hate feeling this way.
But I don't want to leave him. I'm newly estranged, I have almost no friends left because I spend all of my time with him, and I'm just overall really down mentally. I also fear that, because of the Tinder situation, he will move on really quickly and forget all about me. I know he will talk about me in a horrible way with his girl best friend as I've seen these things happen before. I'm terrified, because I do love him a lot, I'm quite attached by this point. I don't want to break up because I'm scared of all of the horrible things he will say to people. People I will never be able to explain my side of the story to, people that see pictures of me and think, 'what a bitch, what an overbearing, exhausting bitch'. He knows so much about me, he knows about my childhood, my entire estrangement process, my family problems, my medical issues, I trusted him. I still trust him. But part of me knows this can't be good. The thought of him with someone else kills me. But I know straight after we break up he will be sleeping around, probably comparing me to these girls he meets. I know I never was his type, he constantly insulted me and my appearance. He told me I have weak hair, he uses 'white girl' as an insult when we argue, and he's said to his friends how he 'wants a Latina'. I know I'm not enough for him, but I know the pain of breaking up will crush me. I'm scared I won't come back from it. I know I won't move on fast, I won't even be able to love anyone for a long time. This is what scares me, if we break up, I feel like I'm losing someone I love, and I'll have to think of him sleeping with other people whilst I sit in my room, crying and listening to our playlist.

Two years ago (2022) in mid August, I got sexually assaulted by my mom‘s boyfriend. Now what happened may not be as bad as what many others have experienced, but I guess the worst part of it was how my mom and my family “handled” it.
He was a chain-smoking alcoholic and that day my mom and him were telling me about all the bad guys in college and how I have to be careful they might sexually assault me or bully me or whatever. At the end of the conversation, my mom told me to fix my hair in her closet/makeup room and that’s what I did. My mom went downstairs to cook, and I don’t know what her boyfriend was doing, but he kept popping in saying he was just trying to help me, call him up, he’s just trying to show me. He and I had already been on bad terms since we met during Covid. He was her client and he just got out for a DUI. We’d argue a lot, and my mom really didn’t do anything about it.
FYI, he kept trying to kiss me on the lips, but my mom would argue till the day she dies that all he did was kiss me on the cheek. He groped my left boob, I told her this while cupping it. She’d say that he held my side. She wasn’t in the room. She was downstairs cooking and I was screaming. Every time he would come in trying kissing me and, every time she would scream at him too even though she was downstairs because she heard me. At one point she came up so I told her that he’d been trying to kiss me but she thought it was on the cheek so she went back downstairs. Same shit—he comes in saying crazy ass shit, tries kissing me on the lips while my mom and I scream at him… except this time he gropes me, says sorry when he leaves the room and I rush downstairs telling my mom what happened. I was using the flat iron and I had every opportunity to burn him. Honestly a part of me wishes I did but it wasn’t the answer to this situation; it would’ve made things worse for me so I’m glad I didn’t do anything like that. When I went to college I used the resources available to me but I made no tangible improvements or positive effects for my life. I even went straight to the Police Department (not just UPD) I could’ve gotten a restraining order but I didn’t. The officer even asked me point-blank, “So are we arresting this guy?”
I remember on my last day to work that summer (2022), I was talking to my mom and she was asking me if I really wanted to tell anyone about it like it was a bad thing. The same thing happens a few days later when I get my outpatient surgery, she reminds me of her “handling” the situation. Nobody in my family really gives a fuck btw, when I told my relatives what happened they kind of danced around it, were in disbelief and honestly, were kind of telling me that they didn’t believe me. When I told my brother he said straight up that he didn’t believe me he didn’t think anyone else would.
My moms boyfriend doesn’t drink or smoke to that extent anymore. I still don’t wanna be around him, but I don’t have money. I don’t have friends. I can’t just get an apartment and my mom gets very angry at me when I had a summer job (2023) that despite paying for my stay at college and you guessed it, was over the summer, she was mad that I didn’t just stay at her house. Get a seasonal job here and make money here for free! Because he just won’t bother me, she says. I get free transportation both here and there. I don’t wanna go on family trips because he’s always there. I don’t even want to be in the same room as him. She says I’m segregating and making people walk on eggshells. My mom is so pissed about it that she won’t bother keeping us in separate areas. She says I’m segregating and making people walk on eggshells.
Isn’t that the worst part? I still live here. This is my permanent address. Like, I came back here for the summer break, for the winter intercession, and the gap of time before my last summer internship. I have epilepsy. I can’t get a job rn and I can’t make friends bc my people skills are disgustingly bad. I depend on my mom to drive me to my pharmacy. I don’t speak to any of my family because of how they responded to this situation + he’s at every event. Of course everyone loves him. I don’t love my mom, but I tell her I do so I can be on some “positive” level with her, even though we argue almost daily. She has no sympathy, despite saying her childhood was much worse—she loved her mom so much that she’d speak to her every day... like it’s some competition. She doesn’t understand why her kids at various times in their lives have become estranged from not only her, but her side of my family (one is 100% estranged). I can’t forgive anyone.

Sorry if my post is long....Its my first time taking advise from anyone regarding such things.🙈
I have mostly studied in institutes only for girls. As I grew, talking to guys became difficult for me. Also, I was very naive always. I am the " good fun intelligent girl " as per others & "unlike other girls". Due to my family problems & fights, which promotes inferiority complex, I am not someone who considers herself beautiful all the time... to the point that once i didn't want to attend my institute's freshers party but just went there because 2 classmates called me beautiful so I thought i won't look bad maybe ( i am not much of a makeup person) & ended up being the winner ( it included looks, quizzes, debate & games ) So i found out i look pretty if I give few minutes to get ready & take care of myself a bit. I always saw myself as someone a guy won't like but after attending birthday parties etc, girls used to say their boyfriends were talking about me in a very good way later and praising me a lot. They used to feel jealous but not insecure as they saw me as a girl not interesting in dating. I never had a boyfriend. For a long time, I didn't care. Now for past 1 year, I too feel like having someone. Most of the friends who knew me ever use words like " pure " & " decent " for me though I know these things don't define purity or goodness. Have you seen " beautiful people " song video by Edsheeran? I am somewhere between those " beautiful people " & that couple. I don't know if its normal but when guys approach me through insta & start showing romantic interest just in single day, i dislike it.. like you don't even know me dude. I have a big thing for decency & friendship first. & I always have my guards up. It's self destructive maybe.
I have evolved now but since despite being a bright person, I gave up on many good opportunities so currently I don't like the current version of myself much & I feel like i should work on myself & be with others ( even friends ) when i would be a better version of me. This year is crucial for me.
Now, THE MAIN PART - Now... I have an extra anonymous type instagram account. I rarely scroll it but one day, i saw a viral reel of a girl with normal number of followers with her foreigner boyfriend. There were other reels too showing their first meeting in LDR after meeting on a dating app. At first it made me happy & smiling but I remembered something & guess what? I knew about that girl's very very bad intentions ( specially about her plan about how she would manipulate her would be boyfriend & eventually cut him off from his family)..don't ask me what & how but if i tell you.. you would ask to let the innocent man know anyhow. Well.. I dm'd that guy but only hinted indirectly for the sole purpose of humanity ( that anonymous account doesn't indicate my gender or picture ). I also wrote that it was not my main account to signify that i was not a fake troll. To my surprise, he understood the hint & even elaborated a bit & replied that such things may already be happening & he won't fell into such traps. He thanked me & said I could also come from my main account. I didn't think much & followed him from main account. He followed very very very few people but followed me back too. I decided not to talk further on this issue as he had already understood more than i hinted. But he himself thanked me again & said bad things are happening from her side & they are fighting too & he may even break up if it goes on like this. My intention was just to make him aware & at the end of the day, he is in relationship with that girl so I just replied with formal answers. I also became scared later that what if its a trap & they make me viral later picturing me as a villain. I told him this directly but he said i could trust him & he knows the situation himself & understands that I worried genuinely for him. I replied that I did this because every human is precious to their parents. Later i deleted my such texts. He said he wants to learn a language & if I could help him. I said yes. We have talked a bit since then. He seems a nice, well mannered, hardworking guy. Once my closest friend asked me to describe a guy very particularly i would like to go on few dates with just once. So I told her that all nice guys but if you ask me very specifically then a fine guy with this one particular characteristic & of this particular country. & He fulfils both. I have started to like him. It's not a dreamy crush. Believe me. I know what that is. It's more like I would like to get to know him & go on coffee date sometime. But obviously I won't take any step because - i can't even take first step in befriending someone & no matter what, there is a girl in his life. But I think if it would be good or bad if i totally give up on texting him. I can't carry on with short talks.. i am not that of a conversation expert. There is a bit of language barrier too. He likes my stories..only the ones in which i am present. But currently I am focused on important things so I don't even have much to post. He rarely posts his pictures...just work sort of stuff.
Please don't think me as a *^%## waiting for breakup. It's never my intention ever for anyone. I annoyed you by telling about the way i am to show that i just don't wanna regret anything from now on because of introvertedness or naivety or whatever & I am afraid that I might mess it up even if something happens further. I have lost precious friends in the past due to this self inferiority complex & not being able to keep on the conversation & understanding their references later on. Since, I know i have to be better.. should i just keep working on my life & myself till I make myself deserving?
What should I do? Should I just keep liking his posts and be silent... or... I can think of no other option. That's why I am here.

Using a burner account because of the nature of this post.
I want to supply some context before jumping into the issue. I have two sisters and we were raised in a very emotionally, physically and domestically abusive household. We all went through a lot of dark and horrible things that children should never have to experience.
My eldest sister who this post is about has two children. Both not planned, and were born less than a year apart from each other. The father is in the picture but mentally unstable. My sister is not financially stable but always make sure that her children are fed well dressed and overall taken care of.
However the oldest of her children a five-year-old is out of control in terms of her behaviour. Drawing all her the house in Nutella, pens, makeup, etc. breaking toys, not listening to anything my sister tells her. Watching things too grown up for her on YouTube which is leading to her wetting the bed every night. She also has a new tendency of grinding food that my sister has bought into the carpet with her feet. Obviously this is not the child’s fault and is down to a lack of proper parenting
However I truly believe that my sister is trying to parent them, but is failing to get through to them. My sister has a very stressful life and itself her boyfriend is present but is in and out of jobs making them financially unstable and she relies on my father for money. She hates her job but has to remain there to try and fund their lives. Her house is the messiest house I think I’ve ever seen to the point where it is a safety hazard. She’s so stressed out that she smokes maybe five cigarettes an hour.
However,
She told me today that her five-year-old pushed her to her limits and she smacked her on the bum. This is something that makes me highly uncomfortable. And I’m not sure whether to report this social services.
It is evident that she cares for these children and love for them so much. I just don’t think she had time to learn how to parent or time to process the fact she was even having children to begin with.
Any advice is welcome, I’m not a parent myself, just a concerned aunt who wants to help.

AITAH My bestfriend (Rose/ F/21/) and I (Luna/ F/22) have been bestfriends for about 7-8 years now. But I’m thinking about ending it. But I’m not sure how to do it. I love her, but ever since we were younger she has been incredibly cold and aloof. Mentioning to me that she likes to mess with peoples emotions and use there “weaknesses against them”i thought it was weird but kinda through she wasn’t serious and was just edgy. I learned to love her through time, although she had mentioned on pervious occasions she was only using me til she gets out of high school. She flirted with my boyfriends a lot growing up, and put me down in front of guys all through my life. Making fun of my periods, and saying I copy her makeup and fashion. (I do not she is grungey emo and I am very much that coquette (?) style) as I grew up I became very active within my community. I go to college to get my drs in history/ art history, am very involved in political movements, and am in general just very apart of current events. She is not, she likes to game(over watch) with her online friends and is the opposite of me politically. She’s made fun of me for going to school saying college is for idiots. She also has a serious drinking and weed problem which makes me worried about her health. We think it’s a sort of therapy for her bpd but she won’t get it checked out. Although we have made it work for some time I feel trapped within the friendship and don’t know what to. We had a huge blow up recently because I got in a fight with a girl who use to pick on her. It was a political argument but besides that it was personal because she use to bully rose. I had sent my text I send to the girl to rose, but deleted the girls text as I had deleted her message on inta before replying as I believed I didn’t wanna reply then changed my mind when I became more heated and thought over it rose took sides with the girl and told me I was being “fucking dramatic” and When I called her out for being a bad friend she essentially told me she hated what I was growing up to be, and she doesn’t need me because she had better friends. I told her I’d side with her over everything (which I did as I let her and her boyfriend stay in my one bedroom apartment rent free for months as they took over my entire house and made me pay for all there groceries and I did all there cleaning.) . She then mentioned my bf cheating on me and called me stupid for even arguing with her as I am delusional for saying with a shitty guy. (My bf has been in therapy, and done a lot of healing. It was 3 years ago and we worked passed that) he has always been very kind to her and even got her a apartment and helped her get into college which she got kicked out of within a month. I then told her I’m disappointed with her as I thought she was a better person and began to ignore her. Then she turned around and texted me 3 days later saying “i’ll be more mindful about the shit i say around you and think before i just speak whatever pops into my head, okay?” This is right after ignored her because she confessed she had feelings for me…I have no idea why she said it. But I think she was drunk.I don’t feel better…I know I am very outspoken. But I’m not sure I wanna be friends with someone like this anymore. Im so tired to ask her to be a normal best friend nd end to me. Is this normal? Am I the douche or asking too much?

First of all, I would like to say THANK YOU to all of you that showed so much love to my first post ever in Reddit!
Since my girl Millie got too much hate for wearing white and ruining the best photo of the wedding, I decided to write her sad story and share it with all of you. It's a LONG tale, full of ups and mostly downs (TLDR at the end of the post). Sooo, grab some cookies and popcorn while I spill the tea ;)
******WARNING******** The story features what I believe to be unsettling content (pregnancy loss) for some. It's hidden as spoiler, so please don't click it if it's a sensitive issue for you. <3
Our story starts with poor young adult who shall not be named (because I don't remember her name). God (me) had big plans and challenges for her, as she started with 0 simoleons in an off the grid island, with hopes of her becoming a millionaire. She moved in the big island without money, a place to sleep, a toilet, nothing. The challenge goes like this: raise money from beachcombing, buy a towel to sleep on, buy a bush to pee in, snorkel, plant and build a life from zero. And, under no circumstances communicate with another sim.
This challenge was too difficult. The loneliness and hardships, the struggle to just survive and find food, led this young girl to her death by drowning in the middle of the ocean. It was too soon, so God decided to try this challenge again, giving the new sim a head start.
That leads us to the protagonist of the story, Millie Carson.
Millie Carson is a young adult who moved in the same island, like a castaway. All she found on that island was a towel, some planted trees, a toilet bush and a grave.
The ghost from the grave came often to haunt and tease her and finally became her enemy.
At first, young Millie tried to stay away from other sims but, since they kept coming and visiting, God decided that it was ok for her to have some friends.
Millie's neighbors were Miki and Ali, a happy couple with two babies. They kept visiting and bringing food to their poor young neighbor, since she was struggling so much. Millie grew close with Ali, who came swimming to her island sometimes.
Meanwhile, Millie learned some skills that earned her some money and food. She became really good at fitness, gardening and fishing. Little by little, she earned enough money to buy diving supplies and took up some diving photography and treasure hunting. All those helped her build a tiny wood home which finally had a toilet and a shower and even a fridge. Life was getting better for Millie, until she started having feelings for her married neighbor...
Millie was attracted to Ali: his long blond hair, his green eyes and dark skin. To her surprise, Ali was interested in her as well. She tried to fight it but it was over her own power to resist. They made sweet woohoo and became a couple, while he was still married with two kids.
Love makes you do stupid things and that's what happened to Millie. She fell in love with a married man and, surprise surprise, she got pregnant with his kid.
While on her 1st trimester, she visited her neighbolover's home to tell him the news. His wife, Miki, opened the door and the sight was unbelievable: She was pregnant as well, on her 3rd trimester. Millie chatted with Miki as nothing was wrong and even socialized with her kids for a bit. But it was now time for Ali to learn the truth. Millie pulled him aside and told him everything.
To her surprise, Ali was content with being a parent to their child. Millie felt his support and fell even harder for him, causing her to do the unthinkable: Woohoo with him all over his tiny house while his wife and two kids were inside! They woohood EVERYWHERE: The small single bed, the kitchen sink, the counters, standing... They almost got caught by Miki, but hopefully she was so pregnant that it took her an eternity to reach the woohoo spot.
Millie started thinking about their future. Tormented by her jealousy, she asked Ali about Miki. Miki's super pregnant belly was an indicator that Ali still loves and woohoos with his wife, two-timing both women. To her dismay, Ali confessed his love about Miki, but he was willing to keep his relationship with Millie. But that wasn't enough for Millie...
Without hesitation, Millie served Ali an ultimatum: It's her or Miki. No love triangles, no hiding. Her kid needed a father and she needed support as a poor young woman. All those pregnancy hormones made her unreasonable - she came between a happy couple and now she felt that her lover's wife stole him from her, even though they were already together! The irony!
Millie couldn't get over her feelings, so she invited Miki over and told her EVERYTHING. That she was pregnant. That the father was poor Miki's husband. Miki got even yelled at for sleeping with her own husband. Millie was out of control.
Like a tsunami, a force that couldn't be stopped, Millie called over Ali and told him to break it off with his wife. It was now or never. Ali did as told and suddenly Miki broke down crying, hating life and those two who ruined it.
Eventually, Miki left and the.. happy couple were finally alone. Millie asked Ali to move in and he gladly accepted. He even proposed and they stayed engaged until after their baby girl, Angelique, was born.
Meanwhile, even though Miki was hating them, she still came over with extra food like a good neighbor. But her relations with the couple never improved much.
The happy couple decided to get married. Millie wore a pretty but simple boho white dress, hair down and golden jewelry. But her joyful smile was the prettiest jewel she could wear. It was a lovely, quiet wedding on the seashore, during sunset.
Soon after, Millie got pregnant again but wasn't ready or happy for it. Unfortunately, there were some complications with the pregnancy and baby Donovan was born dead. They buried him under a lemon tree and cried for many seasons about him.
Ali started helping Millie with gardening, fishing and diving. But his dream was to finally earn his degree in Communications. He still had 3 classes to pass and then he could enter the PR world. He soon earned his degree with a low to medium score and was ready to start working. There was a huge problem, though...
The island was off the grid and he could not apply for the job, not use the very much needed internet. A decision had to be made: Should they live on this island forever, living off the land, or they should move somewhere else and follow Millie's dream to become millionaires?
The choice was easy. The couple moved to Finchwick, in a big cottage house with a big garden, front and back. They brought with them the plants they had gardened with so much love and also bought some chickens. Life was good for a while, baby Angelique was growing but woohoo life was... fine.
Ali found a job in PR and had to work all day, even from home. He had to polish his charisma and writing skills and meet new people. So, that made Millie a stay at home mom, a gardener, a housekeeper. But there was no time for her lifestyle needs: outdoor living and working out. She became frustrated and was always in a bad and uncomfortable mood. She had gained a lot of weight from her pregnancy, she hardly recognized herself in the mirror...All this bad mood made her cranky. Everytime Ali tried to woohoo with her, she had no drive. So, their love life went down the drain...
Meanwhile, Ali was doing great at work, earning at least 2000 simoleons per day. He had met many people, and one of them became a really good friend of his. His name was Gabriel and he was thin, with black short hair, dark skin and modern makeup.
Ali was tormented by his feelings when he hang out with Gabriel. He couldn't understand how a man can be attracted to another guy like that. He was open to the idea, but had never acted upon it. It wasn't the looks - Gabriel was pretty basic. But there was something about the both of them that made him feel... amazing. The attention he got from Gabriel, the friendship.. It was like they knew each other from another lifetime.
Every time Gabriel came over, Ali got excited. He was interested in his words and inner world, not only his appearance. One night, he couldn't take it anymore. While they were talking the backyard table, Ali started flirting with Gabriel. Things got heated fast and they shared the most beautiful first kiss. That was exactly what he always wanted to feel, but was missing from his other relationships. He proposed to have woohoo in the home office, while Millie and Angelique were sleeping unaware upstairs...
They woohood hard and many times. It was a total WoohooFest. Morning came and Ali, having not slept at all, got ready to go to work. He didn't forget to kiss his wife goodbye, but he spent the entire day thinking about Gabriel. By night, he had decided to ask Gabriel to become his boyfriend.
Millie on the other side, was getting better. She bought a walking machine and she often went swimming in the river. Her woohoo drive was coming back strong and that meant more time with her beloved husband. They started woohooing more often, but Ali was also missing Gabriel...
God suddenly had an idea! Ali should ask Millie to have expanded woohoo with someone else, and that someone else couldn't be other than (yes, you guessed it) Gabriel. Ali went on and asked his wife and God told her that yes, it would be fun! So, unaware of God and her husband's plans, she happily accepted to engage in multiple sim woohoo...
Ali was so excited! He couldn't believe his ears! He immediately called over Gabriel and explained the situation. Gabriel accepted as well and it was time for Gabriel to meet with Millie. Millie tried to get to know him but for some reason he was distant. She tried to flirt with him but he didn't reciprocate. Millie got embarrassed and locked herself in her room for some time, to recollect herself. It shouldn't be so hard, right?
At the same time, Ali made his move on Gabriel and they woohood. Gabriel was more than excited to get together with Ali. So, why not Millie?
After Millie got over her embarrassment, she came out the room. Ali proposed having multiple woohoo and they did it. Everyone had a pleasant time.
After that, they got together two more times. But, the last time, at Gabriel's house, was the final blow.
Millie kept trying to flirt alone with Gabriel, not getting the message but, DUDE. He was NOT into her. It was heartbreaking. She tried so hard for her husband, her self esteem and again, she was turned down. A second choice. She didn't deserve it. And then, she though about it. The flirt between Ali and Gabriel. How they would have woohoo, the three of them, but Gabriel was rejecting her. It was time for answers...
Millie first told Ali to end the expanded woohoo agreement. It was too much for her. He wasn't happy about it, but he agreed. And then, she asked the million dollar question: "What's going on between you two?". Ali tried to hide it, told her they were only friends. But God was starting to feel bad about poor Millie, so had her ask again: "WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO?"
The answer was like a knife, going through her heart. Ali loved Gabriel and that's all she needed to know. Their woohoo life was non existent before and now had found someone who made him feel better, more... alive! That's all Millie needed to know. She went over to Gabriel and try to make a last, desperate woohoo pass at him. Once more, he rejected her. It was all so clear. She was the third wheel.
Her ego and her heart were stomped on the ground, like a cockroach. A beautiful, kind, hard working sim shouldn't go through all that. She headed back home, to the privacy of her bedroom and cried her eyeballs out. Ali didn't come home that night and went straight to work.
The next day, Millie invited Gabriel over. Oooh no, she wouldn't let him have Ali so easily. She would humiliate him first. He came over and she started yelling at him. Her face was red and hot, she was fueled by rage. She ending up giving him the beating of his life. When Ali came home from work, both his lovers were black and blue from fighting.
Baby Angelique started crying. She had woken up. Millie rushed upstairs to help her toddler with her needs, but Ali and Gabriel stayed downstairs. Ali tried to comfort Gabriel, asking him to stay. He didn't care about his marriage anymore. God led them to the hall upstairs, outside the bedrooms. They started woohooing again, right there, like animals!
Poor Millie, as she opened her daughter's bedroom's door, she caught her cheater husband in the act! THE AUDACITY!!! And if it that wasn't enough, when she went over to slap him, he acted like she wasn't there and went to woohoo in the shower with his boyfriend - AGAIN! WTH!!!
At this point, Millie knew it was time to give Ali the boot and kick him the hell out of their home, and so she did. After Ali's lover left, the married couple had a long, heated conversation that only had one outcome - Ali had to move out immediately.
So, he left and rented a one-bedroom apartment in the city. He also decided to ask Gabriel to live with him, and Gabriel happily accepted. A new chapter started for Ali but unresolved things were left in the middle with his wife that needed to be dealt with.
While all these took place, Millie had gotten close with celebrity Rahul Chopra. They became good friends and she was invited to his wedding. It was a one of a kind event because Rahul had a shotgun wedding with his wife when they were teenagers due to unwanted pregnancy. After many kids later, Rahul's eldest daughter, with the villainous valentine aspiration (long story) decided to break her eternally faithful parents up for fun. So they did break up, but they were so made for each other, like puzzle pieces, that it was impossible to not end up together again.
Rahul fell back in love with his wife and they decided to do it right this time. They planned the perfect wedding event in San Myshuno's park, during sunset. The whole family was there and their 2nd child, Philip (YA) would take the professional pictures of the wedding.
The ceremony started, everyone (almost) was seated and the photographer (and me) were preoccupied with taking the happy couples pictures. As the ceremony ended, the couple was ready to share their first kiss as husband and wife. The air was filled with confetti that floated playfully around them, the fireworks were set off behing them and the sun was showering them with the warmest rays. It was a one time opportunity to get the perfect picture. Philip got ready to press click. And then, she appeared.
Millie, clearly bothered and heartbroken by other people's love, made a run for the exit and ruined Philip's perfect photograph. The angry look on her face would forever haunt Philip's mind. Why would that woman ruin this happy moment and why the hell would she wear white at someone's wedding? I mean, you wouldn't mistake her for the bride, who wore an expensive wedding gown, but still... Something was wrong with this girl and Philip had to find out...
After the wedding, Millie went back home. The days passed and the divorce was not finalized. She asked her kid who she wanted to stay with, but without reply. She called Ali over, but he texted back he didn't want to come over. Millie had her -now child- daughter call over her dad. This time, Ali responded positively and soon after he arrived. Millie took him straight to the lawyers to see who will get custody of Angelique.
This time, God had no plans, God left it all to luck. So, unfortunately, Ali won custody of Angelique, who immediately went to live with him. Now, Millie was alone. Only her and her money and her baby son's grave in the front yard. Now she was angry, NOW HE WOULD PAY.
Millie grabbed Ali and went once again to the lawyers. It was now time to split the estate. At least 100k simoleons in the bank, plus whatever the house is worth. Millie wants to get everything, but once again, God won't interfere. She comes back home, head down, beaten - she lost 80k.
She turns to her new friend, Philip. He is basic, but he's a good guy. He lives alone in an apartment in San Myshuno, studies Fine Arts in university, comes from a good family. He also has a girlfriend that lives across the hall from him, but Millie doesn't know. And God tells her to come onto him. Now Philip has two girlfriends and God must interfere.
God and luck are playing games with Millie's life.
As I'm writing her story, there's only one thing I feel: Sad.
This girl started out with hopes and dreams. So I think that we should forgive her for attending a friend's wedding wearing white. Some God forgot to change her formal outfit and it was all she had to wear. She's going through a lot!
Her story ends for now, but if you guys like it I might write more about her life's adventures.
Also, what should she do with Philip? Let me know in the comments!
If you read this whole essay / story , you are amazing! And thanks! Hope you liked it! :)
TLDR: YA woman starts with 0 money in off the grid island. Wants to earn a million. Gets pregnant by married neighbor with kids. Marries him and they buy new home. They get pregnant second time, lose the baby.He gets a good job, meets new people, gets new guy friend, has woohoo with that friend. The 3 of them have expanded woohoo. Woman breaks it off. Woman confronts husband about loving other man, he confesses he loves him. Woman kicks him out and he lives alone in flat. The other guy moves in with him. Woman heartbroken, goes to friends wedding wearing white, is angry at happy couple's love, ruins the married couple kiss photo. Photo becomes famous on Reddit. Woman loses custody of only child. Woman loses 80k simoleons after splitting estate. Woman becomes girlfriend of the photographer from the friend's wedding. Photographer already has another girlfriend.
*****EDIT*********** I can't believe I forgot to write this, but Millie also drowned in the ocean while being fatigued from diving for treasures. I decided to not save and give her a second chance. Her life is dramatic, UUUUUUGH!!!!

My younger sister, who is 14, is a nightmare. She never said she was trans or gay or anything until she got TikTok and started watching these gross alt tiktokers who were obsessed with pronouns. She is changing her pronouns weekly now, talking to exclusive trans people online, and recently told my parents that she wants gender affirming care. She’s also changing her sexuality weekly. She went from being a pretty girl to wearing heavy makeup, skanky alt clothes, dying her hair various pride colours, and just got piercings without permission. She’s also saying I’m cis scum.
I have refused to use her pronouns, currently “xe/fad/ze/bun“ the whole time, but they are becoming weirder and weirder. Now she’s refusing to eat because she “wants to look masc.” She’s saying I’m a “fat cishet” and that my boyfriend (who is the sweetest guy alive) is a straight white guy and therefore trash. I refuse to call her anything but she and she is absolutely furious, to the point that she recently decided to start vandalizing my belongings.
For reference, my parents and I are traditional Catholics but support gay marriage. I am 16, female, and a religious studies student at university. All my friends are also traditional including my boyfriend. My boyfriend has DID from a very traumatic childhood. When my sister found this out, she started following DissociaDID online and decided within weeks that she was a traumaless system with only fictives. Each “alter” has her own pronouns and sexuality which she expects people to honour. I told her it’s all garbage and she threw my drink on me in a restaurant and screamed that I was a “fat transphobic piece of shit.” Am I actually in the wrong here.? What should I do? My parents and I are at a loss.

(my post originally from CharlotteDobreYoutube)
TLDR at bottom
I will try to keep as many relevant details in here as possible without going too far off track, since the history with us and with her is utterly a novel. This is long, but worth it, so here goes.
11 days before my wedding I kicked out two bridesmaids (A and M.) This meant I had two left (E and L.) It started with bridesmaid A who asked if her boyfriend could wear a cowboy hat to my wedding. Mind you, my wedding venues were a church for the ceremony and a beach front venue for the reception. I told her that I did not want a cowboy hat in my photos or in my wedding, that that was not the vibe my husband and I were going for, and it just didn’t fit either venue’s décor or environment.
A bit of a backstory – A is not in the best position financially. She was dating her boyfriend for like 2 months before she got pregnant. He promised her a better life closer to his family, she believed it, got fired from her $50k/year job, left her first child w/ her ex-husband (Child 1 was supposed to be my flower girl, whose dress we also bought,) they moved from State A to state B, they don’t make much money. They now have the newborn that they can barely afford while living in a camper.
Before A asked about the cowboy hat, she asked about jeans. I did not want denim at my wedding. Denim is not formal. She said he was going to wear the same outfit to the wedding as his grandmother’s funeral. Fine, not a big deal. I told her if they are black jeans that is fine since from a distance they will look like slacks. (I gave her an inch and she was definitely looking for that mile.) She kept going with it and I eventually said, “I did not want denim, but I made the exception for you two.” And she said “Yeah, it’s not like we could have afforded anything else anyway.” I felt the tension and left it alone for the night.
The next morning, she texted me that she was hurt, that I had an attitude basically and I’ve been acting some type of way, she again brought up the money situation. I tried to be understanding and that I know they are not in the best position financially, but a lot of my family is not, and I know a lot of people are spending quite a bit to get where we are for the wedding (about half our guests were coming from out of state.) I also said I wanted everyone to have a great time and I was sorry if I came off any type of way or insensitive. This was not good enough for her. She decided to say that a wedding was about celebrating our love and if I was focused so much on a cowboy hat my priorities were in the wrong place. I asked her what was going on because this was clearly not about a cowboy hat and she avoided answering. Also did not tell me anything else it might have been about.
She said ever since planning the wedding I have been micromanaging, acting proud, and some other accusations that made no sense. I had no idea what she was talking about because a lot of the decisions my husband and I needed to make were taken care of with both venues – food, DJ, set up, breakdown, clean up, etc. A also said she had been talking to M about the way I was behaving, and that the cowboy hat was the final straw. (What’s that even mean? If I was bothering you with things, why didn’t you tell me so I could fix it or change the way I was approaching things?)
Somewhere in the midst of this whole thing, she said her daughter (Child 1) would just be uncomfortable in her dress and wouldn’t sit still for more than 30 mins (A lie, I have been around her and she is well behaved,) and also said her boyfriend does not like to eat in front of people (Arms must be tired from all that reaching) and all around is just making excuses, trying to call my bluff about this; if the boyfriend can’t even wear the cowboy hat to the reception, then they probably just go fishing after the ceremony, and not even come to the reception. She also said we could have helped with her shoes. In many other words, I told her just because we make more than her does not mean we owe her anything and told her almost everything we were paying for. Then told me to chill and that I was probably emotional from the planning and everything going on. Basically, gaslit me when she was the one that literally threatened not to come because of a cowboy hat. She brought up money again like five more times and how they’re broke – so clearly this is about money.
Husband and I bought the dresses, fronted the Airbnb we needed to get ready in, we fronted hair & makeup without asking for anyone to pay for their portion, bought gifts, A’s plane ticket (she paid us back the next day,) and many other things for our wedding for the bride and grooms party so everyone had a good time, knew they were appreciated, and felt like the event was worth the traveling and time.
Throughout my wedding planning, I pretty much planned everything with my husband, and we asked for hardly any input from anyone since no one was really available, no one was close, and it was just easier. So the whole micromanaging comment made no sense to me. I was doing my best to be flexible and understanding of finances for A, not as much for bridesmaid 2, M, but a little. She was also in a state 3 time zones away from me, so her plane ticket was not cheap.
I have known this girl A for six years. I am crying at this point. It’s the afternoon, I have to get final headcount to the reception venue for catering THE NEXT MORNING. I am texting my mother, bridesmaid E, friend D, a group chat on messenger, and I have not told Husband yet. Every single one of them was on my side. E said, “If she is this way now before your wedding, imagine what she is going to be like on your wedding day.” And being the desperate person I was, I said to friend D “I know this is shitty and a horrible circumstance but if I needed you to be a bridesmaid, would you? The dress color and material are still available on [Vendor’s site.]” She said absolutely. I felt terrible for asking but I trusted her.
M now comes in. She was busy at work so she could not respond to the chat as much, but I was keeping a lot of the chat between A and I because I did not think M needed to be involved. A kept bringing the chat back to the group chat. She brought enough back to the group chat that M picked up on some stuff and basically agreed with A, she said I was being insensitive, and “At least she asked you before she did it.” I’m sorry, what?
Backstory for M – A few months earlier she said she was upset I did not officially ask her to be a bridesmaid and did not think it was worth it to come to my state for the wedding because it would be the second time she is here with her boyfriend but not for them; like not for their own reasons such as a vacation. We had a conversation when I started planning and I asked if she would be comfortable ordering a dress for me to see what it looked like. She said “Aww you want me to be a bridesmaid?” I said “I thought that was obvious!” So maybe it’s a thin line, but she went shopping with A and I, went to try on dresses with her, and LET US BUY HER DRESS. She could have said something beforehand that she did not want to, rather than just thinking she had to. She also was not going to be there for the rehearsal since there was a concert in her state rescheduled for two days before my wedding and she was not going to miss it. Understandable since she would have had to get up at 5 am or earlier the night after the concert to get to my state sometime Thursday evening or Friday afternoon. I did not like this, but I accepted it because she also said “I think I’ve been part of enough weddings to figure it out, -insert laughing crying emoji-
By this point husband also called me for something, I don’t remember what, but I eventually said to him “I don’t think I want either A or M to come.” He said “Okay, whatever you need to do. I’m fine at this point.” I summarized the events and he said “If you want to burn everything to the ground I don’t care, that’s fine with me.” I stewed on everything for a few hours but I knew what I had to do.
I let it sit, I said nothing else, I went to run an errand, I was on the way home, told D when the rehearsal and dinner was, asked if she could make it, she said yes. I told her to order her dress, called the florist, I told them I needed one less bouquet, and got home about 30 mins later. A few hours later I said to both A and M, basically, “You know what? Never mind. I don’t want either of you to come. This is my wedding, we are paying for everything, and I was not wrong. I do not deserve this treatment. It is not my fault A you made shitty decisions and can’t afford anything and M you planned a wedding before, how can you agree with her?” and quite a few other things. (Told them both to send back the dresses but ultimately did not end up caring and said they could do whatever they wanted with them later.) A then said I was attacking because I was frustrated. No, A. You made shit decisions and you’re taking it out on me now. M called me and I didn’t answer. (She was married before, divorced now. Whole other fucking story.)
The other kicker? A kept her flight to STILL COME SEE HER DAUGHTER and was going to need a CAR RENTAL ANYWAY, and A HOTEL ROOM with her boyfriend. So wait, was it NOT actually about money? I don’t even know anymore.
Anyway, D got her dress by Thursday or Friday the same week, we went shoe shopping a few days later, and she bought her own shoes, too.
My wedding party on my wedding day had three girls that were super supportive, loving, and made my day a whole lot easier. They were by my side, made me smile and laugh, and made the day so much more special. I have screenshots, by the way. If anyone wants them, I can attach them to a google doc and have you see them, haha. Just PM me!
TLDR; Bridesmaid didn't like that I didn't like or want a cowboy hat to a non-ranch or country themed/styled wedding and flipped out when I said no, her boyfriend could not wear one. She then said I was focusing too much on it but threatened not to come when I said no, and then gaslit me when I said I didn't want it and told me it was just a cowboy hat and that my emotions were probably all over the place from wedding planning. Bridesmaid two chimed in and agreed with her that I was being "insensitive" about it, even though husband and I fronted everything except shoes, flight, and car rental for both of them, and didn't even ask them to plan any type of bridal party or bachelorette party due to distance. Told them both nevermind, I don't deserve to be treated like I'm the enemy when I didn't do anything wrong other than say no to one thing asked.
Edit: TLDR added

i (16f) have been in an on and off relationship with a boy for around 6 months. we have broken up 2 times, and both times i was the one that broke up with him. i know he really likes me and makes an effort, but i just feel so insecure and inferior to other girls that come up in our relationship which i feel is why i've ended things with him.
back when we first started talking, he had his eyes on multiple other girls despite having approached me first. i am asian, but not the type of asian that most boys like-- i don't think i am unattractive, but i am reserved and a bit of a nerd. i don't wear revealing clothing and my makeup routine is very simple; i am also a bit more tan as i am from southeast asia. he used to have an obsession with this one kpop idol that is trending right now amongst young men, and i would often be compared to her by him. he would say things like "you could look like her" and "you're pretty enough to be a kpop idol" and because of this the way i felt about myself slowly started to worsen because i had started to compare myself to her. on top of this, he said that he would only date east asian women, but i am not east asian and i definitely don't look like the girls he describes.
he has also called me jealous of other girls; he used to never respect my boundaries and this ended in me telling him something about a girl that had a very bad personality and treated my friend badly. i obviously had nothing good to say, but he asked to see her and called me jealous afterwards. this girl is quite pretty and gets far more attention from guys than i do because she is the type of girl that boys my age want-- big false eyelashes, pale, very very thin, the "perfect makeup routine"-- and this made me feel even worse about myself, because after this incident, i realized that he too is just another teenage boy who cares only about looks and it was likely that he would drop me for someone prettier. i started to feel worse about my looks because i know the way someone looks isn't permanent and i was afraid i would be dropped once someone else came along.
these two things led to our first breakup; we got back together two weeks later but my self esteem was pretty much destroyed afterwards. i started to feel insecure and even though he had stopped this behavior after i confronted him, i had started to become jealous of other girls.
during the time we were dating there was this other girl that liked my boyfriend. she found out we were together and ended up talking bad about me and made attempts to make me look bad. i told my boyfriend about this before and he brushed it off, but he knew i disliked her and never thought to unfollow her from social media, which led her to believe she still had a chance and continued to try to get with him. we broke up later on and after this i found out he had tried to get with her-- he lied to me 3 times before finally telling the truth and made the excuse that "he was just lonely" and missed me too much. he claimed that he didn't know she was talking bad about me even though i told him about the issues between me and her several times; i have a feeling that he still doesn't believe that she was talking bad about me either because he used to always listen to his friends and other people over me. we got back together because i chose to forgive him but i haven't gotten over this situation and i honestly don't think i will.
i was on call with him yesterday and he was screensharing his tiktok feed and suddenly a video of the kpop idol he used to compare me to popped up. he awkwardly scrolled past but i started to overthink because he was still obviously viewing her content; everything that happened came flooding back and i had to end the call because i got upset. i hate it because it wasn't that big of a deal but every time i think about it i get more and more upset, which has led me to believe i am not secure in the relationship i am currently in and want to get over this. the problem is that i have trouble letting go of these things and every time something happens that reminds me of the situation i am taken back to when he made me feel inferior to other women.
if anyone has advice on our relationship or how to get over this please let me know!

I need some advice on a really difficult situation. I want to leave my parent's house because of severe abuse. To give you some context, my family is extremely controlling, to the point where I’m not even allowed to spend money on basic things like makeup, skincare, or even waxing and threading, buying clothes etc.
My father is narcissistic and abusive. Since he is the main bread winner of the house. He has always made it sure to let me know he hates me. He would humiliate me in front of other. He would abuse my friends or do stuff that would make it so nobody would want to hang out with me. Recently, a well-wisher told me that he's been spreading rumors about me, calling me a whore. This is devastating, especially since I barely get to go out, never had a boyfriend or even friends, and never had the chance to enjoy my life in general. Also, you guys know how in our society, this kind of rumor can destroy a girl's reputation.
And, recently I visited a gynecologist because I was missing my periods due to stress and I was gaining weight, just feeling overall unwell. And there I found out I have endometriosis, likely caused by all the stress. The doctor advised me to seriously start taking care of my health before my condition worsens or leads to infertility. Now, everything I eat in my house is what my father likes or prefers. So, eating salads and all that too with his money. Or buying expensive medications is too much to ask for. Cause his house, his rules. This is why I want to leave. I wont be able to follow a particular diet plan and take care of myself well.
Right now, however, I have no plan, and I am really scared for my future. As a 22-year-old who didn’t ever do much except study (which was funded by another well-wisher because my father didn’t wanna pay even a penny for my education), I don’t know what to do. I need to find a full-time job that pays enough for rent. I have a BA and am currently doing my MA, but I think I’ll have to leave it halfway. Plus, my father is becoming more abusive day by day, and I have no support from anyone. I am totally alone.
So, how do I go about finding a place and securing a job in Mumbai? Cause I really don't wanna lend money from anyone, as I feel like it would put me more in debt. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.

hii guys!
since like 1 week i’ve suddenly had a random change in feelings for my bf. before this week i was head over heels and wanted to spend every single second with him, but it feels different since a few days? i was really obsessive always checking if he responded, when he was online, got sad when we could not meet up for 1 day and cried pretty fast if he said something mean, but since a few days i don’t really feel the need to do those things anymore and the crying doesn’t happen as much as it did before. i also used to redo my makeup before he came, but i don’t really care anymore how he sees me :’) me and my bf have been together for almost 7 months now and my feelings suddenly changed. i feel really scared and i’ve been anxious about this the entire week, because i don’t want to fall out of love with him. he is an amazing person, he’s lovely, he listens, he is caring, he understands everything, he is handsome, he is sweet, he is kind, he is helpful and overall just really special. he treats me in all the right ways and i could’ve never dreamed of having a bf who’s so sweet. i am a person who struggles with her thoughts a lot. (health anxiety, sexual orientation ocd etc.) i think too much. this is keeping me busy all week, because my mind tells me all sorts of things, that i don’t want to cuddle anymore (i love cuddling), or that every single thing he does annoys me, that it doesn’t really matter if i see him today or not. i’ve also read about the honeymoon phase ending and i don’t know if this is the case? i also don’t know if those thoughts are just obsessive anxiety thoughts or if those are my real feelings, i really can’t tell. we talk about our future a lot, because we have a pretty special connection and he also loves me so genuine. we say the same things at the same time and think exactly the same or do the exact same thing at the same time. he is my bestfriend. but since a few days talking about the future feels wrong, because of my weird thoughts and feelings i’ve been having. i feel almost guilty kissing him or saying ‘i love you’ back because my mind just tells me that i feel obligated to do those things, because he’s my boyfriend and i don’t want to hurt him. my mind also tells me that i’m in denial and that the only reason i don’t want to break up with him is because i don’t want to hurt his feelings. he really wants to marry me and i also really meant that when i said that, but now since 1 week i don’t know what is real or fake anymore. can someone help me or give me advice at what im experiencing? i really don’t want that this is me falling out of love with him. i have a disorganised attachment style i think, because my childhood has been pretty messy with an alcoholic father and my parents fighting all the time + my father almost leaving everytime they fought.

I've recently started medically transitioning. I've been trying to socially do so especially at home. My boyfriend of five years though has been making things complicated for me though. He's been fairly supportive in terms of the medical aspects of transition, even suggesting facial feminization surgery and stuff down the road. But he has put up a lot of resistance in terms of exploring social and presentation.
He's refused to call me by my preferred pronouns or even to start considering calling me by a different name. He's very assertive about not letting me try makeup or any "overly feminine" clothing.
It's led to a lot of bickering over the past couple of weeks and just seems to be leading nowhere. I feel like our relationship won't survive this, but I don't wanna stop. I've never have felt so clear to myself. I'm not sure what to do, I've been trying to be more assertive with him. I just feel like I get the same back though.
There was a point a while back where my therapist suggested that maybe I might be "growing out of the relationship". I'm starting to think maybe it's true. I'm at a place where I just want to live authentically myself and he's afraid of that cause he doesn't want people at his chosen career to find out who he is because of me. I'm not sure what I should do.
On the plus side his mom has been super supportive of me and I'm planning to come out to more people soon in hopes of building up a stronger network of support in my life. I want the best outcomes I can manage.

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/OddDot5178 in AITAH
trigger warnings: possible transphobia, possible mental health issues, manipulation
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NOTE: Because everyone will wonder, I am addressing this right now. While OOP's child identifies as non-binary, she uses "she/her" pronouns and presents as a female. This is why OOP refers to her as her daughter.

AITAH For Not Wanting To Raise My NB Daughter's Baby? - Feb 7, 2024
My daughter came to me at 16 and said she was non-binary, but only sometimes. Like, some days she would feel more male than female and some days she would feel like neither. She wanted me to ask her every day what day it was and then refer to her as that pronoun of the day.
I told her that wasn’t going to fly. Growing up, I spent a lot of time on LJ (Livejournal) during the ol’ ‘bun-self’ and ‘zen-self’ ‘zir-self’ days. People who think this is new to this generation are fooling themselves. I told her that I would call her the pronoun she wanted, and do my best to remember it day to day, but she was going to have to tell me what she wanted for that day. I wasn’t going to play a daily guessing game.
This went on for about a week or two until she finally seemed to grow tired or bored and just said I could call her ‘her’. Though she still identifies as non-binary. Fine. (At least when it was going on she wanted ‘she, he, or they’ — I’m sorry but I couldn’t have done fox-self/fox-them with a straight face).
So that’s the pronoun story and looking back where I think things started to go off the handle. Here’s my real question.
My daughter is now 18, pregnant, and seems to have lost her god damned mind. Or I’m an asshole. You choose.
This year has been a struggle. She wanted to take a break year before she goes to community college, but can’t keep a job. Apparently, retail situations are too phobic against her non-binary state. (My child looks/acts/dresses exactly as a young adult female btw. When I ask how people are being phobic against her, she gets as prickly as a cactus so I really don’t know the details.). She’s been through 4 or 5 jobs this year, quit all of them. She won’t consider call centers that aren’t face to face because she doesn’t like to talk on phones, and is apparently looking for a remote job without any luck.
She’s been unemployed since Thanksgiving (she quit her last job on Black Friday, in fact) and I was on the verge of laying down the law, telling her she either needs to go to school this upcoming semester full time or get a full time job or move out with her friends.
But now she’s come to me and she’s 5 months pregnant. She’s very angry at me, says it’s my fault because:

• I didn’t put her on puberty-blocking hormones when she came to me 2 years ago.
• She believes I am in fact trying to ‘feminize her’ by getting her birth control. (The pill.). She’s been throwing her prescription away.

This is where I might be the asshole. I called her a little idiot. We don’t use that sort of language in my house, and I never call people names — especially my own child — but at that moment I could just see red.
The hormone thing is a non-issue IMO because this is the first time I ever heard of her wanting hormones. What was I supposed to do? Go back in time?
As for the birth control! It’s also the first time I’m hearing anything about this! There are non-pill options that don’t have estrogen. If that was her want, all she had to do was ask and I would have driven her to the doctor myself! Or she could have taken the car she has and done it. She has her own medical card, even! Though to be fair, I don’t know how she would have managed the co-pay without a job. I know for a fact her old high school gave out free condoms like candy because her friends were always giggling over flavored sample packs and even blew a few of them up like balloons and left them around the house one time. She had all the birth control she could ever want and used none of it.
It gets worse.
We’re way past the date of abortion (again, I would have helped her if this had been her wish! We live in an abortion protected state and can afford it!). She’s known she was pregnant since about 2 months and has come to think of her baby like a sibling. She expects me to raise it like it was mine. That this is my duty, in fact, because she says it is my refusal to accept her non-binary state that led to her being pregnant. So she was going to get a brother or sister and I was going to have another child.
You can say my language grew … sterner to versions of ‘Get your head out of your ass’ and ‘Congratulations, mommy, you have some hard decisions to make’, and I said I would absolutely not raise her baby for her.
She also refused to say who the father was. Now that I’ve cooled down, I’m really hoping she has a secret boyfriend. She does have some friends who were born male, but now also don’t identify that way. We didn’t even get there as I lost my mind when she said she thinks of her own baby as a sibling and wants me to raise it like my own child.
She’s locked herself in her room loudly wailing, I feel like crap warmed over. She’s been in there for 12 hours, and as she has an attached bathroom, probably won’t be coming out until she gets hungry. Considering it’s been half a day I think she has snacks stored.
I also don’t know where to go from here. Being pregnant sucks and messes with your head, so I’d like to blame that and the fear she must be feeling, but … I have the bad feeling I either raised a spoiled brat or someone with an emerging personality disorder.
So I need to know from people who aren’t emotionally involved, and maybe some people who are more in tune with this whole nonbinary thing than I am.
What do I do to help while also making her responsible for her own child? How can I help my daughter accept she must do basically the most feminine thing you can do (give birth and possibly breast-feed) while being sensitive that she’s non-binary? Am I just a big asshole here?
Typing all this out it feels like my daughter is lost in crazy town. I'm still not raising her baby but at what point do I drag a legal adult to the hospital?
Edit: You might disagree with my choices or wording, but I'm reporting people who call this bait. It's not.
Edit2: It's the middle of the night and she has decided to pack some of her clothes and stay with one of her friends. (One who I suspect is the baby daddy). Before she left she told me that she already called the police and let them know that she was 'leaving of her own free will and was not in danger'. Like I was going to report an 18 year old adult as a runaway or something? It was insulting.
I told her she needs to work out details if she wants to adopt with the father, and she was welcome back home when she had a plan in place.
It was short because I heard her on the way out. I think she just meant to leave without saying anything.
Thank you for your kind comments and advice, Reddit. I'm going to sleep.
Commenters agreed that OOP's child wasn't thinking straight:
Comment 1:
NTA.
I hate to say this, but; I sincerely hope OP's daughter chooses to give up this baby for adoption, because she's a confused hot ass mess. I don't blame OP for not wanting to step on the crazy train and raise this baby.
Comment 2:
Let’s be honest: If OP says yes to raising this child as her own, it will be the first of several. Daughter won’t take BC, so she will continue to have unprotected sex and get pregnant. She decided a couple years ago that she’s NB, expected her mother to understand that and know everything about it, and is now rewriting history to blame her mom for her now being pregnant. My head is swimming, and she’s not my daughter! There will be more babies.
Comment 3:
NB here OP.
You are SO NTA. I feel sympathy for your kid because they sound like they are so confused, maybe have body dysphoria and are now facing a life altering situation with no way out. They must feel so trapped. So they turn on you. It's easier for them to yell at and blame you instead of accepting responsibility. They are looking for a way out. We all keep changing and growing and your kid is SO young they seem to not know who they are yet and now they have to face looking after a baby when they know deep down they can't even really take care of themselves.
But my GOD the thing they did that was really stupid was chucking BC away. That is actually wild. Your kid needs to learn the difference between gender enforced stereotypes and actual biology. With biology it unfortunately doesn't matter what gender you are, the biology doesn't care, it still works the same. They NEED to learn that and differentiate.
Like I said, NTA OP. What a shit situation. I hope it gets better. I really do.
Comment 4:
NTA, your child is in fact a little idiot, with behavior that would be an absolute nightmare had you not been their parent. Also birth control isn’t a form of feminization, it’s a form of responsibility when you’re born in a body with a uterus and want to have sex that can result in pregnancy.
OOP's response:
Ugh, I wish I had those words when she hit me with that one. I sort of sputtered for a few minutes.
Comment 5:
Oh man, this is a can of worms within itself.
I wish I had better advice but just...I feel for you and the position you are stuck in.
The ONLY thing I can think of is, referring to breast feeding as "chest feeding" might make your NB daughter accept it more.
But like...there's a whole other level of things you need to get through first.
First and foremost, therapy, ASAP for your kid. Because she needs to get her head sorted out. Assuming you will just take this kid and raise it for her is...problematic to say the least. And she's got a deadline coming obviously, so therapy ASAP.
Also appointment for pregnancy checkups asap!! Has she had any? An unmonitored pregnancy can lead to complications
You might also be able to get her a social worker to go through pregnancy checkups, birthing extra.
Your kid needs a big sit down conversation about accountability for your own actions. And about how she might feel like part of YOUR actions lead to this, there was also many many choices she could have made to prevent this, that she chose not too. And at the end of the day, it was HER choices that led to this, not you.
OOP's response:
Thanks for this tip. I've written it down. The reason I mentioned she was NB because using 'breast' instead of 'chest' is the exact type of thing to send her into a pissy-fit when she's in the wrong mood. I know this may sound like a little thing, but she's always been... well, dramatic.
Because it's the internet and things are anonymous I'll admit that I am absolutely dreading pregnancy and afterbirth mood swings. Especially since it will all involve very womanly things in every intimate way. On top of the sheer stress of a newborn? Yes, I'm not looking forward to it at all and am already preparing to endure the storms.
Our conversation wasn't productive (it was an argument and she's still not out of her room) but I don't think she has had any prenatal care. That will change if I have anything to do with it.
Thanks again.
OOP commented with some of her concerns:
Yes. My worry and regret have so many places to go and a big part of it is for the baby.
This has been a bad day. :(
Responding to a comment regarding her child's entitled attitude:
Oh believe you me I have been kicking myself up and down on top of everything else. I don't know how she got to this point, but she's there now.
I wish I did have that time travel machine she clearly expects me to have.
She also clarified her overall views on the matter:
I'm on the fence. If she acted at all like she didn't have a gender (I believe that's what NB is) then I could take it more seriously. But she dresses as a woman. She puts on makeup, wears dresses during the summer, enjoys feminine things? We watch horse videos on youtube and squeal over the new foal videos. She's never been a tom boy, even.
But I was like, okay this isn't hurting her. I'll let her have this and express herself. Maybe it'll turn into something, maybe it won't. And after the first few weeks, she even dropped changing pronouns every day.
Her mentioning being NB faded and then started up hard again when high school ended and she started working retail.
I try to be understanding. Retail is hell and I'd personally only work it again if I was at my last resort. But recently it does seem to be an excuse not to work. And now she has a baby on the way.
This may not be the place for it, but I'm just worried she's regressing to a more child-like state. I don't know if she's struggling with being NB or if she's using NB as an excuse to shield herself from the world. Ugh. I guess the internet won't know, but I'm just flat out worried.
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AITAH has no consensus bot but the comments were largely NTA.
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Update: My NB Daughter Wants Me To Raise Her Baby - Feb 17, 2024
Hi,
This is an update to this post (Long story short my 18 year old NB daughter wanted me to raise her baby, and she told me she thinks the baby as her sibling. We had a blow-out, she locked herself in her room for most of a day, and then took off with her friends/her lover)
So this happened a few days ago but I didn’t update because I needed to get my head around it. It still doesn’t make sense.
Daughter finally unblocked me. She and the person who got her pregnant wanted to talk to me at a public place. We chose iHop.
Although I suspected I knew who her lover was, I was disappointed to find out because they have been a part of my daughter’s friend group since high school and was the only one I ever had a problem with and kicked out of my house.
They are trans now but two years ago the friend group was watching a movie in the living room, and every time I’d pass by, he (he was a he then) would lock eyes with me and make really obnoxious, loud, orgasm sounds like that scene in Harry Met Sally. I told him to knock it off and grew sterner when he did it again.
Then when I was in the kitchen, he somehow snuck up behind me and was miming jack-off movements with his hand. I turned around and caught him at it. He was still fully clothed, but it was startling and freaky. I kicked him out.
So now I’ll just call them Sperm-donor because that’s what they are.
I’m still calling my daughter ‘my daughter’ and ‘she’ because I still haven’t been told not to by her otherwise. So get off my case on that.
Anyway, the iHop meeting was a shit-show. Sperm-donor sat with my daughter and went on the attack. Sperm-donor’s points were:

• I was poisoning my daughter by “making” her take birth control. (I only helped her get the prescription and would have done everything I could if I knew she didn’t want to take the pill. There are other methods!)
• It will take years to “fix” my daughter after all I did. (Not giving her hormones even though I had no idea that was what she wanted. She dropped even wanting to change her pronouns after a few weeks.)
• Abortion is a sin and I am a monster for suggesting it. (It’s past the date anyway.)
• I am further abusing her by not taking care of the baby while she fixes herself. (I guess they meant it as a temp situation which was also new to me.)

So apparently even though I’m an abusive monster, a bad mother, and so on, I’m even worse for not taking in their baby. At least no one suggested that I raise it like my daughter’s sister anymore. That might have been my daughter’s thought on it.
Sperm-donor did most of the talking while my daughter just sat and glared at me, nodding along.
It was kind of a whirlwind, Sperm-donor pounded the table a few times, and even the waiter knew not to bother us after drinks, lol. I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave.
There was a lot said, mostly by the sperm-donor who really seemed to be steering the ship. I asked why sperm-donor couldn’t take care of the baby and sperm-donor said their parents were even worse than me. I guess my daughter and sperm-donor taking care of the child they created is out of the question.
I told them that I would not be raising their baby for them and that adoption is the best bet. They said that if I don’t agree to raise it, they’ll make sure I’ll never see the baby ever.
I won’t raise their child for them. So that’s that, I guess.
I feel so many flavors of worried and angry and then worried all over again. I’ve been around the block and it’s never a great sign when the person you’re with makes an enemy of your family. That’s what sperm-donor has done by painting me as an abuser and failed mother who also won’t take in their baby. Sounds like sperm-donor has cut themselves off from their own family too. So I’m worried my daughter is in a very controlling relationship with someone who convinced her to stop birth control because they think hormones are too feminizing somehow and that she needs to be “fixed”. But they still want me to raise their baby.
I’m angry that my daughter can just hear this crap and nod along like, yeah, that makes total sense. She is not stupid. I think she’s love blinded.
I’m sad and worried for the baby. A couple commenters suggested I wanted nothing to do with the baby because I wouldn’t agree to raise it as my own. No, in a perfect world, I would want a normal grandmotherly relationship. Or at least know that the child is safe and has been adopted into a loving family.
I don’t care what my daughter does with her gender, or her body as long as she doesn’t hurt herself. I want her to be in a happy relationship with someone who values her for who she is. Sperm-donor kept using the word ‘fix’ which I see as another terrible sign.
It’s bad all around. My house is empty. It feels like my adult daughter has run off to join up with some weird church/cult thing who tells her that up is down. That not using birth control and not getting an abortion and then expecting others to take care of the child is all a-okay. Oh and that she’s a problem and needs to be “fixed”.
I texted her and said I would be there for her, but sperm-donor was still not welcome in the house. I think I’m blocked again.
She’s a legal adult. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point? In my low points, part of me thinks maybe I should agree to take the baby and then immediately make sure it’s adopted into a loving home. But I get the feeling that sperm-donor won’t make that easy, and right now my daughter does what he says. Also I’m not sure if that plan is even possible. It sounds Hollywood.
I have an appointment to speak with a councilor, but the soonest I could get is April. Some of my friends think I should take the baby in either to get them away from the parents or because they think it’s my duty, or both.
The only silver lining in this was that they both seemed sober. I don’t think there’s drugs involved.
Am I reading this wrong? Am I the asshole here?
Commenters agreed that sperm donor's comments made no sense, and that OOP's child was probably stuck in an abusive relationship:
Comment 1:
For your safety, I would change the locks and put up camera, Sperm-donor seems unhinged. I’m a firm believer in better safe than sorry.
Comment 2:
This baby will be used as a pawn in his never ending psycho drama. If they do not and cannot raise their baby, the best solution is adoption. Otherwise, the father will make your life a living hell.
NTA
OOP's response:
I couldn't figure out a polite way of saying this, but yes. That is my suspicion if I take in their baby. Sperm-donor implied it would be temporary while earlier my daughter said it would be permanent. I think sperm-donor will refuse to sign over paperwork when the time comes or try to leverage it in some way.
Comment 3:
NTA also it sounds like your daughter is in an abusive relationship with this person. Sorry your daughter has been brain washed by this crazy person. I would definitely contact this sperm donors family and if they seem sane warn them about how crazy both of spoke to you.
OOP's response:
That is my fear, and not a bad idea to contact sperm-donor's parents. This has all happened so far, I feel like I'm in shock and I'm very worried.
Comment 4:
Pretty wild that a trans person is saying abortion is a sin. None of this is anything like what you're going to hear from any healthy LGBT community, who are quite careful to make sure not to support people in delusional or antisocial behavior. Definitely get therapy, sounds like your kid has some serious mental health problems if they're being influenced by whatever wackos put these ideas into their head. You're going to need support in coping with this madness. NTA by a country mile. You are in no way "abusing" your kid by refusing to take responsibility for their bad choices.
OOP's response:
Thank you and yes, I don't want to minimize my daughter's role in it but the hard anti-abortion thing surprised me too. A lot of what they said contradicted itself. It felt like I was sitting across from two people who were in their own wacko bubble.
I know it's not a LGBT thing. I wish someone from their community would knock some sense into them, if its even possible at this point.
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OOP hasn't posted since the last update.
Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS.

Last night I had gotten punched, I will not say by who and today when I woke up to get ready I saw that I had developed a black eye, I am really too scared to go out of my room and not in a mood to talk to anyone even my family and boyfriend. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship with a 7 hour difference. We usually send selfies to each other sometimes and I'm scared he might ask for one during the time I still have this black eye and don't want him to find out. I am still in my teens and do not use makeup nor do I know how to use it. I only have worn it when my sister wanted to test out some styles. Can anyone please give me advice on how to hide the bruise and also how to make it seem like nothing had happened. I do not want to discuss what happened with him and he has been busy so I don't want to bother him nor do I want to make him worry.