7th grade gentic study

Hi, I would like to know how hard is Management and DS compared to Management and Tech?
It replaced the latter in Heilbronn and studying in Munich is not an option for me.
Do they have the same criteria or should I have a high level and grade in math (am an IB graduate)?
Last year I got admitted to the management and tech but had to reject the offer, so will I be able to get accepted immediately to the management and ds?
Would appreciate your replies

Firstly I am a engineering student studying in the "most reputed" college of Nepal and majoring in Computer Engineering. From my middle school days I never actually loved or even liked "coding". I can't even code a proper pattern in QBASIC. This doesn't mean I'm not good at studies (rank 22 IOE). I'm in my 2nd semester right now and friends around me are doing shits like DBMS, DSA and what not. They know java, js, react, python, C++ and many more. And I'm here still struggling with C. And before you call me dumb for joining engineering let me tell you that I was and am too much attracted towards pc games and I wanted to be a game dev from my highschool days so I thought joining engineering would help me achieve those dreams. I know a little bit of C# too and a pretty good knowledge of Unity Engine too. I was very good at artworks since my childhood. ((Short story that still makes me proud: I was in grade 5 (2072), there was a drawing competition where I drew the history of dharahara in pictorial form and won the 1st prize and my class teacher called me "Dharahara boy" for the whole year. I know its kinda cringe but I love that)) I love making animations and sketches. I even draw my friends faces in my college and even drew some artworks on the classroom boards and they all appreciate me. I even love music production and guitar. I even love physics but I am damn sure I completely hate programming and coding. I am not sure what I want to do with life. Any suggestions are appreciated.

Me (19M) and my best friend (19M) have been close since 7th grade, since i just moved into a new town and he was my first friend. My best friend was a guy that always had women involved with him, there was a time that he used to hook up with 5 at the same time. Last year, he got a girlfriend (19F), she was a girl that i knew from my hometown and she was mt childhood friend, so i was pretty happy when i learned that they were dating. At the time i also was dating a girl that were the same age as us, but it didnt last long since she cheated on me. When i broke up with my ex bot my best friend and childhood friend came to my house to support me because it was a tuff time for me, since it was my first time in a serious relationship in a while, because of a girl that i was dating in my freshman year that cheated on me with four guys, and unfortunarely i walked in on it. The day that they came to my house to comfort and support me my best friend stayed at my house since there would be a sixers game and we were both big fans, then his girlfriend went home. Halfway through the game he suggested that we should go to a bar and watch the game, since the beer was over at my place. Arriving there, he was recognized by a girl that was one year older than us and was a friend with his sister. When we greeted each other i noticed her being super touchy with him and i found that quite strange, so my friend pulled me aside and asked me to not tell her that he had a girlfriend, i found it weird but didnt tell her. When the game was over we were going home so i was going to walk my best friend home, but the girl he was talking too passed out and we brought her to his place since we didnt know where she lived. According to my best friend, the next morning she said that she was happy that he took care of her and said she wanted to repay him, so he kissed her and started to do it. When they were done he called me and told me about it, at the same time i recorded the call and sent to my childhood friend, cus i aint tolerating shit like that, cus if he can betray his girl, he can betray me too, and i aint tolerating cheating fr. Then two days later they broke up, and he was blaming it on me, saying that i was jealous of him and that i should off myself, so i told him to fuck off and that he was in the wrong, so he blocked me. While that was happening, my childhood friend was depressed af and wasnt leaving her room for a week after the break up, so i stayed over at her place and comforted her (we did not have any relation and nothing happened). When monday came my best friend wanted to fight me , but our friends calmed him and nothing really happened. Am i the asshole?

My dad made me sure when i started studying for the SAT that I’ll be studying in the US. However, right now he refuses to let me go. First of all I got 9 acceptance from the US unis tho they are not highly ranked but I think it is worth it. I even paid for the deposit to USF and applied for the housing. It was time to request my i-20 and i asked my dad for a bank statement of 25k he said i dont have money right now, not even 5k. 😭😭😭😭😭 (he’s in business sometimes he got 60k sometimes not even 1k) And now he wants me to study somewhere in europe, chech republic, turkey, italy. The thing is my intentions also his, were me studying in the US. And after getting acceptance not letting me go bc of money is not fair ig. For me, money comes and goes, and it should not be a barrier for us to reach our goals. Please tell what can i do? 1.ask my dad to take loan for me or he said he can sell his car for me to study. 2. (If i study in Italy, it’ll be foundation cuz there is no 12th grade here) after foundation apply for the us unis, or transfer if it is possible. 3.gap year (tho my parents wont let me to take)
Thanks in advance 🫶🏼

Hello all, so the HSC board results are just round the corner and entrance exam results are also in line, I thought I'll jot down some words and mistakes which I did which may help you in living your college life to the fullest and at the same time focus on all round development!
(a) Make friends and spend good time with them:-
Nobody will remember your 6-10 LPA good packages and all that stuff. What people remember is the good time you've spent together, friendly banters and much more. Go places and explore the world. I made good contacts but was not able to spend good time with my friends due to the unnecessary academic pressure by my parents. They never allowed me to get out of my house. Thus, today nobody even checks on me lol. So friends and connections are very very important.
(b) Participate in maximum activities:-
Participate in each and every club you can! Do what you love! Focus on all round development. Believe me college is the best time for these things. Again due to the fuckery of my parents, I was not able to participate in these things. They believe it's just waste of time which is absolutely wrong! Don't be like me, go and participate even if you don't know shit about it.
(c) Be in good books of teachers:-
I followed this blindly. Trust me this will help in getting your internals and externals sorted even if you aren't good at studies. Ask them doubts, greet them whenever you meet. You'd be pretty much sorted. (Though you may study and upskill from Youtube :) )
(d) If you like someone, confess asap:-
Its better to get rejected than to regret. I had one crush in my college. She was from another department. We used to talk only formally like occasional greetings, festival wishes, etc. I tried very hard just to talk to her even if its only two sentences on messages. Later on I realised that I was too late. She was already in relationship with someone else. Anyways, it was a good learning experience for me. She'll be my secret crush forever if I don't get into these relationship and related stuff.
(e) You are NOT always wrong:-
Learn to defend yourself to the fullest if you believe you are absolutely right. Whether the person in front of you is anyone - your parents, friends, partner, etc. Till this date my parents curse me for no reason, like I earn decently, worked hard in my academics and secured good grades, still I face mockery. Everyday I beg for some freedom of which I am deprived of. I see people on Snapchat enjoying their lives, wandering all over the world and here I am sitting envious of them. Don't be over-submissive like me. It's your life, live it to the fullest.

Hi I just finished grade 11 in a fairly prestigious private school but I’m worried about my grades since I wasn’t doing well, I let it slip up. it’s still above 85 ave, I’ve gotten 2 line of 7s in SHS. I just wonder what are my odds of getting in. I am studying for the dcat and aiming to really improve in the test and gr12. Is DLSU still mass accepting people? and do they consider dcat grades or your grades more?

good morning/evening
i (20) want to start my studies again.i don't have any qualifications. i tried going through old grade books but I am having trouble with them..most of the words don't make sense and the questions in chapter are different from the one in past paper(when i study from grade, before moving to another i try solving some questions from past papesample papers)
i don't have enough to pay for school again. i am trying to look for some free online source but there are way many and i don't know which one should I chose. even I don't know how what my current level is. i just know some bits of topics here and there.
because of some mental health issue i took a long break(the last time I "studied" was 6 years ago). and I'm trying to get myself together.
edit - my main focus is maths. apart from maths, it's science (biology and chemistry to be specific), english grammar,polity and economics

I am currently upgrading my high school grades to apply to university. Something that has really peaked my interest like I finished 3 assignments today alone in a class; because I really want to apply to a law program. As I was doing my assignments, which I did finish but even at 25 I’m struggling with my highschool assignments. As someone with a learning disability. I’m extremely determined but I know legally blonde is just a movie. I know getting a diploma for a law degree is extremely difficult. Is there anyone who is lawyer now who also has a learning disability or anyone currently studying who has one? Does your learning hinder you in your job or studies?should I consider another field I’m literally so insecure about it, I even have it in my bio incase I mess up my sentences and don’t even realize it. The only thing I do to combat this is to reread my work over and over and over again. Reading and recalling information I have zero problems with. It is when I write my thoughts down is when things take turn for the worst

good morning/evening
i (20) want to start my studies again. i tried going through old grade books but I am having trouble with them..most of the words don't make sense and the questions in chapter are different from the one in past paper(when i study from grade, before moving to another i try solving some questions)
i don't have enough to pay for school again. i am trying to look for some free online source but there are way many and i don't know which one should I chose. even I don't know how what my current level is. i just know some bits of this topic here and there.
because of some mental health issue i took a long break(the last time I "studied" was 6 years back). and I'm trying to get myself together.
edit - my main focus is maths. apart from maths, it's science (biology and chemistry to be specific), english grammar,polity and economics

Hello! I want to start my bachelor's in Budapest as an international student, however my alevel grades weren't really the best, in Es (el any idea on the foundation programs in Budapest and would I be able to get into a uni for bachelors with my grades? I know they aren't the best grades but I did great on IGCSEs was mainly in As and Bs.. Any ideas on the unis and stuff as this whole process is very confusing + wanting to study in English And my major is media and communications My options so far are Budapest business university and Corvinus
But I am also considering Malaysia as an option! So what would be the best country to study in

Hello! I want to start my bachelor's in Budapest as an international student, however my alevel grades weren't really the best, in Es (el any idea on the foundation programs in Budapest and would I be able to get into a uni for bachelors with my grades? I know they aren't the best grades but I did great on IGCSEs was mainly in As and Bs.. Any ideas on the unis and stuff as this whole process is very confusing + wanting to study in English And my major is media and communications
And so far my options are corvinus and Budapest Busines university

So of course this is about a girl. She is in my class (3rd year) and I really like her, and we text each other like almost every evening until sleep. She often asks me for help in subjects like maths and physics, and I do have good grades but she knows I never study. so I asked her why she wouldn't ask someone else, like the dude who has good grades in every subject (i would say nerd but hes a cool guy, one of my best friends). of course I told her that I wasn't asking because I didn't want her to ask me, but just out of curiosity, and I told her that I'm happy when she texts me. she responded telling me that she likes how I explain things, which is quite confusing since I'm bad at saying what I think, but I didn't ask further Couse i didn't want to make her uncomfortable. she often texts me first and at school she always tries to have some conversations with me, and also the while fucking class keeps telling us that know we like each other, and thank god (or maybe that wouldnt be that bad, its either a super good thing or super bad imo) that never happened when we were together. So, I know I should tell her my feelings and I'm pretty sure she likes me back, but there's a problem. I'm really bad at having conversations. like, I never know what to talk about, even with some of my friends, unless they keep up the conversation, and we end up in that weird state of silence not knowing what to say,but we end up laughing cuz we know its embarrassing but we accepted it for how it is. But even if I asked her and she said yes, then we would have to hang out toghether, and i would realky like it. but i know that probably, if she isnt the best talker, we would end up being silent and that would ruin it all. I get that if that happens it's both's fault, but I wouldn't surely blame her. also, I've been in relationships before, but well last one it was middle school so ye not something to talk about ig. Anyway, even in those relationships, I've always felt like I had to be perfect for her, even if she was the one that asked me out. I feel like if I'm not always perfect I couldn't be at her same level, even though she doesn't even have to try for me to like her. what is my problem, and is there any way I could avoid that weird silence and not get both of us embarrassed? also, sorry if my English was bad but I'm not a native

Been doing this since a youngin fr .. pic 1 was when I was in the 7th grade 😆 pic 2 my most recent of today

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I Accepted a Job to Film on the Dark Web
Man, I am pumped to tell you chronically online content addicts my story. Wait is that too mean of an intro? Will this get taken down for harassment since I painted too accurate a picture of the people on this site? Sorry, everyone, I’m sure you all smell like an expensive bakery and have touched grass this morning. Anyway, I promise I have something interesting. It even involves the dark web you uncreative writers cream yourselves over! I mean, totally real people speaking about their strangely similar experiences. Okay, fine I’ll stop bullying you through the screen before you click off.
This all started when I was seven years old and my parents were killed in front of me in an anti-indigenous hate crime, but let's be real you don’t care. I’m just some annoying Cherokee kid with dead parents so I’ll skip to the good parts. I spent years in an orphanage, gradually becoming more interested in death and violence. As bad as it is, I went out of my way to expose myself to that content in the hopes of desensitizing myself. Which ended up working too well, since now I’m obsessed with causing and viewing pain, though I don’t find any joy in hurting myself.
I got adopted at twelve and after a few months of staying at my new family’s home on the reservation, I went with them to a state sweatier than the average Reddit user, California. Long story short, both of my caretakers, whom I referred to as Uncle and Auntie because they could never be my parents, died. Leaving me in the care of their older son, who I call cousin. I’m not stupid enough to give up any real names, so I’ll call him Brick, cause he’s as dumb as one. He was in his early 20s when he was tasked with taking care of me and is the world’s worst excuse for a babysitter.
I’m almost always alone at the apartment, with him only coming by to drop off supplies and stay for a few hours so the neighbors don’t get too worried. Unless I get in trouble at school, then he’d suddenly give a shit. It's useful because he doesn't about the gory stuff I look at, but some display of interest would be nice. Oh well, ninety percent of the population sucks so he’s just part of the majority. Now, with that said, you’ll be able to understand the perfect storm that led me here. During my time on the deep web, I found a particular website that caught my eye. They had new footage relatively consistently and they were the easiest for me to access since I didn't go too far into the dark web, especially with all the honey pots lying around.
I even bought a couple of files for myself to study and admire. One thing irritated me though, the cameraman. He was always sobbing, breathing, shaking, or some combination of those. It seriously killed the vibe of the killings. Something I commented on under many videos, often saying I would do a better job filming. A choice that in hindsight was me asking to end up in one of those recordings. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was mostly the only one who commented but I was sure they wouldn't care. I was embarrassingly wrong.
I was staying up like usual, but it was past one AM on a school night, and back then that was a lot so I tried to sleep. Closing my eyes, tossing and turning, the works. I had just started drifting off when I heard the front door open. I remained calm but immediately found it weird since Brick never showed up this late. The thuds of the individual's feet grew louder as they got closer to my bedroom. I tried to convince myself it wasn't a stranger, especially since they got in with ease, but I knew that was wishful thinking.
They hummed as they opened my door. My dumbass had left it unlocked. I remained on my side, trying to look like I was asleep. They turned on the flashlight of their phone, shining it in my face. It was hard but I stayed still while they traced it over my features. I could tell they were smiling as they clicked their tongue.
“Heh, I knew it was a brat,” they whispered to themselves, pulling tangles out of my hair. Something I struggled not to groan from. They pulled up the hair over my ear and got so close spit got on my ear lobe.
“I know you’re awake kid,” they murmured, putting a blade to my neck. I let them grab my shoulder and move me onto my back, I knew how to fight but I wasn't about to take that big a risk with the position they had me in.
“You think you’re so cool saying you can do better than our guy.” they snickered, kneeling, their flashlight still shining in my face.
“Do you seriously believe that?” they questioned, moving the light away.
“Yeah, I do.” I stood my ground, they might have been intimidating but I wasn't gonna let that stop me from being honest.
“I wouldn't sound like I’m gonna piss myself every time it gets gory. I’m confident I could get better footage too, getting up close is something I’ve fantasized about.”
They clicked their tongue again and ran their finger over the bridge of my nose.
”Well, I know you’re a big fan of what we do, and you’re confidence makes me think you got something to back those claims up, so how’d you like a deal?”
I was surprised by how civil they were being aside from the touching and weapon against my throat.
“What kind of deal?” I asked, for all I knew this guy wanted me to lick their feet or some weird shit like that. They placed a finger underneath my eye, tracing a half moon with their nail.
“You have till this Friday to film a video of you killing an animal and put it on a flash drive that I’ll pick up here. If it impresses me and the crew we’ll hire ya with a handsome salary.” They began, moving their hand down to my cheek.
“But if you don't show, or it doesn't meet our standards, then I’m fucking up one of the parts of your face.” They warned, pinching my skin harshly.
“And if I say no to this deal?”
They put their hand over my mouth, scratching my lips.
“That’s cute, if you say no I’ll just slit your throat.” they grinned.
“Or rip it open with my teeth if you got a preference,” they smirked, before running their tongue across their sharp teeth.
“Okay, since I have no choice I’ll go with it, but I’m telling you now I can give you something way better than what you likely expect of me.” I prefaced, looking into their sunken eyes. They scratched my scalp, including the side of my head that was shaved.
“Good choice, I’ll be back to pick it up and if you're not here I’ll assume you don’t have the video. I genuinely wish you luck, because you’ll need it.” they removed the blade from my neck and walked away. I sat still for a few minutes in the dark, processing what had happened and wondering how they got into my apartment with such ease. I was confident I could blow their sniveling excuse of a cameraman out of the water, but I was worried about the people I was getting caught up with.
Sure, I had been on a lot of gore sites over the years but I was always just watching and occasionally commenting. Compared to most in the scene I wasn't much of a threat. I could defend myself and have contemplated killing for years but I hadn't murdered anyone or worse. Plus, I am part of way too many targeted groups to not be constantly at risk. Teenage, fem-leaning, two-spirit, indigenous kid with trauma? Yeah, I might as well be walking sign screaming “Hate crime me”.
So yeah, there was a lot to worry about. Regardless, I couldn't let that fear hold me back. I had a job to do and a group of sickos to appease. The next morning was rough, I got no sleep cause I’d spent all night brainstorming. I barely mustered the energy to change and drank straight mouthwash instead of brushing my teeth. Slogging onto the bus with drool on my cheek, I went to the back like usual. No one sat there cause, the seats were extra worn down, and I scared off anyone who attempted to with my active, rabies-infected bitch face. That day was different though.
I blanked on his name and where I knew him from, but I recognized his wavy hair and prominent curved nose. He glanced at each seat on the bus, before somehow settling on my area. He tried to give me space but ultimately seated himself beside me after realizing it was the only spot that didn't look like it would give him cancer. I glared at him as I did with everyone, but it didn't phase him.
“You know you could pick anywhere else right?” I murmured. He stared at the floor, then at me.
“I’m aware, but a few months ago I started a mission to sit on every part of this bus, and this is the last place.” he smiled, his lips softly curving at the sides.
“What’s the point of that?”
His mouth moved into a more neutral position, but his eyes kept smiling.
“I just thought it would be neat to see the same place from a bunch of different perspectives.” he took out his phone and snapped a photo from the point of view where he was sitting. Maybe my sleepiness made my bitch face less effective, cause he hadn't shown a hint of fear, which kind of annoyed me.
“That’s cool I guess, but I wouldn't do that if I were you. I’ve done some back here alone that would make your skin crawl.” in hindsight my attempt at unnerving him just made me sound like a pervert, which is probably why he held back laughter. Trying to hide a chuckle by clearing his throat.
“Hey, it's not my business what you do, no matter how Haram it is. It’s your life so that’s between you and whatever you believe in. Just don’t shake hands with me.” he joked, playfully putting his hands up. Strangely, I remembered his name at that moment.
“Oh shit, you’re Abdul! We have art together.” I sat up, haphazardly slamming my hand down on my leg.
“Uh yeah, I’ve seen some of your paintings, they’re pretty cool. I like the way you texture them, I’m trying to work on that.” he complimented, seeming more weirded out by my sudden energy than my accidental insinuation. I felt a little stupid for yelling his name but decided not to dwell on it.
“Thanks, you’re stuff is nice, and you’re good at shading.”
He stretched his arms while thanking me. We talked for a few more minutes, taking jabs at each other throughout. Turns out he was better at being an asshole than his artsy charismatic appearance made me think. The thing setting our insults apart being that you could tell he was a loving person underneath. It was the nicest conversation I had with anyone in a while. Though he could tell I was tired so he quieted down, letting me sleep, waking me when we got to school. We went our separate ways until the last two periods we shared. All that time, I spent my remaining energy plotting how I was going to handle the video. What I’d kill, record with, and how to dispose of the evidence. It was a lot to consider, but through three classes I devised a plan.
I’d find a stray around my apartment complex and take it out in my room. Record it on a portable camera since I broke the ones on my phone, no, I will not be answering how that happened. Then once I had my footage I’d put the body in a trash bag, throw it in the complex’s garbage, and clean the blood off my floor. It didn't seem like Brick would come by so he wasn't a factor I thought I’d have to consider. The plan was almost too easy, but I decided to believe in Occam’s razor. I got so lost in thought that by the time I reached Art, which was my second-to-last period, I didn't process that we were moving seats.
“She called your name,” Abdul reminded me. Our teacher placed us next to each other at our four-person table. The two girls sitting with us were already friends, so I didn't bother to say anything, but I was interested in talking to him more.
“So, what do you think of this assignment?” He shrugged, taking out his sketchbook.
“I’m not that good at drawing people, but the idea of combining two people’s faces into a portrait seems interesting. Any ideas on who you’ll pick?”
“Probably the members of the music duo Brain Tumor, they’re my favorite artists and they both look weird as hell.”
“Wow way to talk about your favorites, if that’s what you say about them I can‘t imagine what you have to say about me.” he joked, pulling up reference pictures.
“First, it’s not an insult, second I don’t have anything to say about you. Brain and Tumor have features and styles that make them stand out. Sure they’re ugly, but it just adds to their visual charm. Hot people are boring, there’s nothing to pick at.” I explained, unzipping my bag.
“Oh, so you’re saying you think I’m hot.”
His comment wasn’t serious but it kind of got to me.
“Shit, that’s not what I meant, I was trying to say you’re boring. All hot people are boring, but not all boring people are hot, okay?” I explained, flipping to a clean page.
“Alright, but if I’m so bland then why talk to me?”
I hesitated, contemplating how much of a dick I was gonna be.
“Because it means you probably need some spice in your life, which I can provide.”
He began sketching a head on his paper.
“I like spices, but I feel like you’re the kind of person to dump a cabinet’s worth onto me.”
I flicked my pencil over to his side of the desk, putting on a mocking grin.
“Aww, you scared I’m gonna get you into trouble?”
He picked up the pencil and started using it, putting his on my side.
“No, ‘cause I’m good at setting boundaries. I’m more concerned that you’ll get annoyed with how unafraid of you I am.”
I stared at him for a moment, I hadn't expected to hear that.
“Jeez, man you didn't have to read me like that.”
He shrugged, observing the red paint from past projects that lay on my pencil.
“It's not hard to figure out, just this morning you were trying to push me away on the bus. Lucky, or unlucky, for you I want you to have a friend and you seem like a fun person.”
“Wait are you saying I have no friends?” I squinted at him.
“Well, do you?”
I didn't answer.
“If your response is silence I suggest you take up my offer.”
I was stunned, to be honest. No one had offered to be my friend since 6th grade, and that didn't last long. Of course, I accepted it, but for the rest of the period, there was an awkwardness in my mind. As pathetic as it sounds I wasn't used to others genuinely enjoying my company like he did. Which was partly by design cause I get joy out of scaring people away, but still. I forgot how it felt to have conversations about normal things like art. He had such a nice smile too, usually when I see a grin I want to slap it off, but I liked his. His voice was also nice, it’s hard to describe what in particular but it was easy on the ears.
Okay, I’m starting to get off-topic. I’ll skip to the important part. Toward the end of class, he started talking about how he was interested in filmmaking and got a portable video camera as a gift at last year’s Eid. He didn't have it on him, but he showed me a picture.
“Heh, that’s funny, I bought the same one a month ago.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, it's a popular model, I’m still getting the hang of it though cause I’m so used to using my phone.”
“Well, maybe I could bring you over to my place or vice versa after school and I can help you out.” I suggested.
He smiled, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“I thought you said you’ve only had it for a month? You know I can always look up tutorials from trained professionals.” he reminded me with a notable smugness that I'd used with him before.
“Well those guys are stuffy and I’m a fast learner.”
He redirected his attention back to his page, picking his pencil up.
“Alright, I suggest we go somewhere public instead. You’re not exactly the kind of person I want to bring home to my parents right away. Plus they always need to meet my friends and their guardians before I hang out at their home.”
I gave an exaggerated sigh, stretching my back.
“Aw man, looks like we can’t get high in my murder pit during our first hangout.”
He didn't respond for a solid few seconds.
“Wait, you do know I'm joking right?”
He shrugged, the smile in his eyes appearing again.
“I mean, one of those things is a little less believable than the other.” he snickered, and I laughed with him.
We set up a time and a date, which is where I screwed myself. He ended up being busy with projects from his other classes and family which just left us with Friday, the same day I had to submit the video. Now, did I tell him I wouldn't be able to make it? No, of course not, because I decided to be stupid and even more overconfident. I said that I’d one hundred percent be able to hang out with him after school like I didn't have a mutilator who was going to drop by my place at an unknown time.
The rest of the day went over fine but that bad timing led me to feel like a dick later. When I got home I was able to write out my plan, even sketching a few specifics of what I’d do. It was more exciting than when I’d been brainstorming, but this is when the gravity of the situation began to set in. When I said I’d fantasized about killings I meant it. I mean my teddy with twenty-five stab wounds should say enough. Regardless this would be the first time real blood was on my hands.
It made me feel powerful, but a little afraid. I’ve heard stories of people thinking that it would be an awesome experience and then feeling like shit. I doubted I’d be one of those people but still. Plus, I didn't exactly trust the guy who gave me this job. There was a good chance that this whole situation was rigged and they’d kill me no matter how good the video was. Or worse turn me into the feds and expose my collection. Honestly, if that happened I’d probably eat a shot to avoid going to jail. Wait, can I say that on this platform? Okay to the mods, that was a joke, I want to live a long life. Ugh, I’m doing a terrible job of staying on track. The point is there was a lot up in the air despite it being a matter of life or death.
I knew I’d go through with it but it was still a lot less straightforward than it initially seemed. I wracked my brain to remember where most of the cats stayed and tried to come up with a good way to lure one without raising suspicion. This also proved harder than first thought because I didn't think to account for the cat man, an old guy who lived alone and fed all the cats in our dingy complex while also housing a few. Knowing how obsessive he was he’d probably notice if one of them disappeared. Then again not all the cats return consistently or at all. It makes more sense that he’d think one of them was run over rather than slaughtered. It was getting late again so I rested my head for a moment, a bad move cause I ended up falling asleep at my desk. Not even changing out of the clothes I’d worn before, I woke up late and barely caught the bus the next morning.
I went to my usual spot but Abdul had already taken it. He patted the area next to it, which he’d covered in a towel, a smart move knowing how nasty it was. People gave me a few dirty looks as normal, which I smiled at. I stretched, my mind slightly less out of it than the previous morning.
“Uh, you do realize that-”
“Yeah, I know I’m wearing the same clothes.”
Abdul looked me up and down, his eyes remaining soft, but with a mix of concern and judgment. He set his backpack down and took off his sweater handing it to me.
“Dude what are you-”
“Look I don't know what led to you not being able to change but I think you should at least have a fresh top.”
I was surprised he was offering me something to wear but I took it.
“Uh, thanks, I’ll change into it later.”
He nodded as I put it in my backpack.
“You know you didn't have to do that.” I reminded him.
“Well there’s a lot of stuff I don’t have to do, but I do it because I want to, and I wanted to help you out.”
He smiled, his face still warmer than an Arizona summer. I got a strange feeling in my chest at that moment, I still can’t tell if it was good or bad.
“Well, thanks, I'll give it back to you tomorrow.”
We talked a little more and he mentioned something that caught my attention.
“Have you heard about all the animals that have been turning up dead?”
My eyes widened with surprise.
“No, I haven't, when did you hear about that?”
He pulled on his long-sleeve shirt.
“My sister said her friend who works at a shelter noticed a bunch of animals were getting adopted by people around the same time, and since then gore videos with them have been showing up. She found out through her co-worker who was emailed it by some random creep.”
I covered my mouth and looked away to hide the smile growing on my face. He had just given me the perfect cover-up without knowing. Now if I killed an animal people had an entire violent ring to connect it to instead of me! I stayed quiet for a minute because I could tell he’d likely see through any phony sad sounds I made.
“Oh wow, that’s awful, do you think they’ll ever find out the people behind it?”
He sighed, running his hand through his wavy hair.
“I hope so, for now, all we can do is pray that no more animals get hurt.”
I couldn't contain my grin as he said that so sincerely like animals and people didn't die constantly and that taking down one group would somehow stop the issue.
“Is there some joke I don’t get?” he furrowed his brow.
“Uh, no, sorry I smile when nervous.”
His gaze softened again, and he didn't press further.
His bringing up the animal killings ended up being the exact push I needed to get my hands dirty. I’d spent the entire day before planning so it was time to put that plan into action. I stole some cat treats that the cat man had laid out and spread them around my apartment which was on the bottom floor. Waiting for one of them to take the bate outside my window was pretty boring but one of them came after a few minutes. A scraggly brown and black cat with a tuft of fur missing on one side of his head. It's messed up but I felt like a little less of an asshole for taking him in since he looked like he was already struggling. I scooped him up and he didn't attempt to fight back.
“Hey there buddy” I waved, feeding him some more food. His eyes had a lot of crust on them, it was kinda gross but I don’t have the right to say with how often I wash my jeans. After a minute or two he let me pet him. I knew making any kind of attachment was bad but I thought it was the right thing to do so he’d fall into a sense of security. I was just about to take him into my room when the door opened.
“Hey, I’m back with groceries!” my shithead cousin announced with two plastic bags in his hands. He looked down to see me with the cat, his eyebrows raising.
“Aw come on, you know we can’t afford a pet.”
He groaned placing the bags on a table and unloading them.
“I know, but he doesn't look like he’s got a lot of life in him I at least want to help him feel better before he kicks the bucket!”
Brick rolled his eyes, putting the cereal box on top of the fridge
“Jeez, did you even think about what diseases he might have? His eyes look puffy what if he has something that can get you sick?”
He had valid concerns which was surprising since he’s usually stupid, but I was still annoyed with him.
“I’m sure he’s fine, I’ll even try to wash him, just please let me hold onto him for a little.”
He folded his arms looking down at us.
“Have you even named him?”
I froze for a second, before using the first thing that came to mind, which ended up being pretty awful knowing my plans.
“Cash cow.” I blurted, awkwardly patting his head.
“Honestly that’s better than what I was expecting. I was sure you’d pick ‘Hellspawn Mcgee’ or something else corny.”
He meant to make fun of me but honestly, I would have named him that if I had more time.
“Ugh, anyway I got those dumb chips you like.”
He then pulled out a bag of the wrong chips.
“Dude those are the wrong ones, this is the third time you’ve mixed up the flavors.”
He threw them at me, scaring the cat slightly.
“Well, I pay for it so you shouldn't be so picky. Anyway, while I was in line I picked up something you might be into.”
He then tossed me a trashy teen magazine. One of my least favorite sorry excuses for an influencer on the cover.
“This is a joke, right?”
I couldn't believe my own adopted brother gave such little shit in my interests.
“I don't know, you decided to start being a girl for real this time so I thought the makeup tips on page ten would help you out.”
I scrunched my face at his comment.
“Dude I’ve been this way for years, just because I started wearing more makeup and dresses doesn't mean I’m more of a girl than when I didn't. I know you won’t get the two-spirit thing but come on.”
He shrugged, seeing me done with me even though he’d just shown up.
“Yeah well hey I’m trying. Anyway, just so you know a friend of mine is coming here Friday.”
My heart stopped.
“Wait why here? You live elsewhere why can’t you assholes go there or their place!”
He slammed his fist on the table.
“Will you shut the fuck up!”
He screamed with a phrase I’d grown numb to.
“I don't know, to be honest, something about wanting to move into this complex and this being a way to scout it out. I’m just letting you know now so you don’t act like a complete freak.”
“Jokes on you I’ll piss in whatever shitty beer you bring just cause you said that!”
I yelled back raising my voice higher than his. He face-palmed before putting the plastic bags in the drawer under the sink.
“Whatever, you and your ketamine-addict-looking cat have fun,” he told me while seating himself on the couch. I picked up the cat and walked into the bathroom to clean it. I closed the door and placed him in the dry tub. Using a small disposable mouthwash cup I got a little bit of water. I hadn't had a pet before so I wasn't sure how to approach the task. I dipped my fingers in the water and carefully pet it while pouring s small bit down his back. Any other cat would fight back but he just made pissed-off noises without doing anything.
I scrapped my old shampoo bottle and kneaded it into his thin fur. His skin was bumpy and dry beneath the hair so scrubbing it was uncomfortable. I made sure to avoid getting soap in its eyes but I did pull away some of the crust on its lids. His pupils were so clouded I was surprised that he could see at all, making me feel even more sure that he would be on its way out with or without me.
After drying him I set him on a beat-up shirt I wore when modifying clothes. He sunk his claws into it a few times, playing with a loose string. I ignored him for the rest of the night, hopping into the shower and changing for bed. His meows woke me up a few times but I tuned it out after a while, reminding myself that he wouldn’t be my cat for long.
The next day was Thursday and there wasn't a second that passed by where the weight of the murder I’d have to commit didn't weigh on me. I seriously shot myself in the foot by taking care of that scruffy, pubic hair pile. I was supposed to be hyped about killing it, after all, I’d dreamed and seen way worse than what I was going to do. Yet once I got home and started setting up I felt grosser with each step. I decided to record it in my bathroom instead of my bedroom so it would be harder to connect to me. I set down a few fabric scraps and a worn-out beach towel, placing it all inside a tub for easier cleanup later.
“Okay, I guess it's time,” I mumbled to myself. I brought the cat in and placed it down, setting up my camera once it was comfortable. I also wore my most generic clothes in addition to a mask, putting my hair in a bun for sanitation. When I saw the flicker of red showing that the camera was on I felt I was dreaming. I smiled, excited that I’d get to live out my violent desires. Yet, when I looked down at its pathetic frame and confused expression those urges left me.
I rationalized what I was doing, reminding myself how many animals die all the time and that I’d been forced into this, but it didn't help much in the end. I won’t get into it but under the pressure of impressing the group Cash Cow didn't go out as fast as I would have liked for a first task. Getting rid of the evidence was especially rough, the textures were pretty nasty, to put it mildly. It was surreal watching the blood go down the tub drain and gradually drip off my hands as I rinsed them. I couldn't conjure a single thought the entire time I cleaned it up.
Whether I was wringing out the clothes or putting the remains in plastic bags, it didn't matter. All I could focus on was the task at hand, with hints of disgust along the way. I ended up finishing at three AM. My hands were wrinkled and shook once I settled. I won’t deny that during the murder I didn't hate it. Slashing into something was fun and it made me feel strong. Still, it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as I expected it to be. Part of it was guilt, but it was mostly disappointment. I’d built it up for years and it wasn't earth shatteringly good or bad.
Overall, I expected to feel more, but it just left me hollow with an uncomfortable itch. There was no way I’d ever be able to see the tub the same way, hell I don’t think I’ll ever use it again. Luckily I almost always shower anyway so it's not too big of a deal. I watched a few horror game videos, trashed everything, changed and went to bed.
My scalp hurt like a bitch the morning since I kept my hair in that stupid bun. Despite getting less sleep than the past two days I held myself together a bit better in the morning. I brushed my teeth, changed, and had some fried bread before getting on the bus. Regardless I looked like complete shit and struggled to slump into my seat.
“Rough night?” Abdul asked
“Uh, yeah.” I quietly responded looking to the floor.
He frowned, looking at me with concern.
“You can talk about it if you're comfortable,” he assured me. I contemplated giving him a thinly veiled metaphor or vague explanation so he'd comfort me but stopped myself before my mouth could run a muck. He wouldn't be able to do much of anything and I don’t like opening up.
“Uhm, thanks but it's something I have to deal with alone.”
He nodded, respecting my boundaries.
“You know, I understand if you can’t hang out today it seems like you have a lot going on.”
I avoided eye contact with him as he spoke. For once I was feeling hints of guilt toward a person. I wanted to spend time with him, but I knew that I wasn't in the state to do that.
“Yeah, I think it’ll have to wait, I’m-” I cut myself off before apologizing. A fact about me that should surprise no one is that I hate apologizing. Even when I do feel kinda bad the act fills me with embarrassment.
“You what?” he asked, his eyes telling me that he knew what I was going to say.
“I’m emotionally not great.” I spat out in an admittedly poor attempt to get out of saying sorry. As always he remained calm but I could tell he saw through me.
“Okay, like I said I understand, whatever it is I hope you feel better.”
I told him thank you and we didn't speak for the rest of the day. At home I changed into more comfortable clothes and brushed my teeth. Unfortunately, I wasn't bouncing back from killing nearly as much as I expected.
“It wasn't even that bad! That thing was on its last legs anyway.” I grumbled to myself, smacking my forehead. I was feeling worse than when I did it which is weird. I ended up spontaneously decorating a ratty tie from the bottom of an accessory drawer to distract myself. It helped me get my mind off things, for a little. I had zero plan, just wanting to make something needlessly complex. Hours that felt like minutes passed and soon it was covered in patches, frills, and beads. I just tried it on when I heard the front door open.
“Man, that shit was wild!” I heard Brick laugh groggily. I didn't have to see or smell him to know he’d gotten lit. I rolled my eyes, closing my bedroom door.
“Hey, who’s there?” his friend asked, seemingly referring to me.
“Oh, that’s my little sis, don’t mind her she’s just on her emo shit!” he joked, which pissed me off for the petty reason that I didn't even listen or dress emo.
“Hey, that’s alright with me, I went through one of those phases,” they responded, their words less slurred than my cousin’s.
I fucked up and forgot to lock it when I closed it so they were able to swing it open, almost smacking my desk.
“Hey emo girl!” they waved as Brick haphazardly pulled them back.
“Okay, man, seriously I think she wants to be left alone.”
The way his friend looked at me made me uncomfortable. Like they’d snap my neck if I pissed them off. They clicked their tongue while stepping through the door frame.
“Alright, but I gotta say calling her an emo is inaccurate, they look like they watch gore and most emos just say they do.” they flashed a sharp toothy grin. At that moment I began to connect the dots.
“Easy, she’ll get pissy with you dude, now come on.” Brick warned tugging their opened button pushed him away. They looked me dead in the eyes.
“I don’t think she minds, in truth, I feel like we’ll have a lot to discuss later.” they smiled again, finally walking back into the living room. A chill ran up my spine when I saw them. The sharp teeth, New York accent, unsettling gaze, that motherfucker was the person who recruited me! They were able to get into my place so easily cause my dumbass cousin probably gave them a spare key or the opportunity to make one, and now they were a room away from me!
I dug my hands into my pillow as I contemplated what to do, no matter what happened next, I knew it was gonna be a rough visit.

Been directed from uniuk to post my question here.
I'm currently in year 12 and would like to apply to a law undergraduate degree, but l'm fairly sure I wouldn't get the grades for this, as all the unis l'm interested in have typical offers of AAA-A*AA as it is a very competitive subject. I've been doing some research and found that I can apparently do an unrelated undergraduate degree (I'm interested in history, but worried about job opportunities after which is why I'd prefer law), do a 'conversion course' and then go on to further study law as normal? Does anyone know how this works, and if I can do this conversion course at any university? And then what happens after the conversion?
After posting this in uniuk I was made aware that conversion courses aren’t a thing anymore, so basically I just want to know how going from history to law works and a rough estimate of how much it would cost in comparison to doing law the ‘typical’ way.

For those of you struggling with case prep, I wanted to share a resource I've really liked: auroraprep.com. Super helpful content and interactive case studies on demand where they grade you with their AI. It's kind of like case-in-point but a virtual version. highly recommend.

Hi(throwaway account). So last year, I came to the realisation that my household is not like the others and I do infact have very unpleasant memories of my childhood. This is going to be kinda long, so yeah.
My father is extremely religious, in all negative ways. He had manipulated me and my mother's views for a long time, but thankfully we were sane enough to differentiate, to realise that it was nonsensical belief. I will speak of two incidents here cause its going to be quite a stretch otherwise.
He has had anger issues for a while now, and it has reduced (quite late now) over the past year. During covid, we went through some financial problems, and my mom was subject to a lot of emotional abuse while I watched it happen as a young tween. Physical abuse involved throwing things, slapping me across my face so hard my glasses broke, and berating my mothers family.
Personally, i had a whole jug of water poured over me once when i was about 5, had a chair thrown at my mom and I, a couple of mugs and so on. In 2018 and then 2020, things were at their worst, fights would happen everyday behind closed doors and I could hear screams and more delusional religious bs from my father. Sometimes he sounded like a lunatic.
My grades started to drop in HS as I started a new syllabus. I am immune to all of the berating regarding my grades now. The worst is the regular criticism I get. They comment on my clothes, my friends, my life choices, and even my diet(some food is banned in our religion). I have friends who are extremely religious and I made the mistake of confiding in one of them, and now she avoids me entirely. I also have a maid in the house. Her expertise is criticising whatever i eat, whatever I do and when and controlling everything I do cause 'thats her responsibility'. Funfact, i lost several friends because of this woman screaming at a 6 year old kid(ME) in public so often that the entire neighbourhood knew us and avoided us. She still repeats this immature behaviour btw. She goes on to compare me to other girls and often brings up her conservative views on how girls are supposed to take care of kids and families, and that I should be more graceful. My father expects me to get married and have kids, while I have almost zero intention of doing so right now atleast. He brings up marriage and devotion in ALMOST EVERYTHING. Im a high schooler btw.
I dont have a phone, i barely contact my friends, and I am not allowed to go outside cause I have to stay home and study. All this while dealing with my mothers worsening mood swings and fits on anger. She throws me to the floor and strangles me with her entire weight on me. This is her new hobby. She then snitches on me to my dad and acts innocent while trying to cuddle up with me. There is so much more I want to address, but I will keep it short here. What can I do to keep my mental health intact? I feel I have developed social anxiety when I used to be an extrovert. I have trust issues and I can barely express my emotions properly without thinking that I deserve all this. I flinch when people rasie their hands and even if they just approach me. Even lightly slapping my back is extremely uncomfortable. I cannot celebrate festivals or interact with any religious person without overthinking and scoffing off their beliefs. I want to go NC with my parents and be an atheist.
TLDR: my father tormented me in the name of religion and now I cant look at most things the same.

WARNING: Long post. This is my first ever rant in this sub, and I barely have any experience on making posts on Reddit. Not to mention I am still struggling with English essays. So, I apologize before hand for any confusion and errors I made. 🙇
Context: I am a female native Vietnamese, living in a family of four in the North of the country. I just became an official adult few months ago, and is training for college entrance exam.
Ever since I attended 10th grade, my relationship with family has shifted drastically, my bond with my AM is stronger than it used to while in contrast, I have become more resentful to AP. And my resentment is more relevant as I turned 18.
Before talking about our current situation, I want to tell you about my life.
When talking about who I prefer, it is always be AM. Not until now was she emotionally intelligent, well, a bit better than she used to. She tended to forbidding me doing lots of things because of overprotection. Maybe that is why I am often hesitant to try something new. I remember our past fights when she only knew about screaming, threatening, throwing and breaking my stuff like a toddler and I had to bare with it because you know, I was 10-13 in a fucking Asian society. After she quit her dead-end job, she opened her own business, goes outside and studies more, she becomes more enjoyable to be around with. But after all the bs, I have always have choosen her for love and security. And this is the first time I realized that.
Moving on to AD. Between kindergarten to 5th grade, AD and I were quite close. At least, that what I thought because I was slow and naive, really naive. Despite being "quite close", I still remember the times he yelled and hit me for slight inconvenience. I still have the memory of the scar left by his belt for not doing what he wants. Also, in 10th grade, during COVID, children had to study online. I was the only one who knew how to and had to open the Zoom for my sister. One time, our classes started at the same time, I was on the rush and forgot about the Zoom of my sister. AD did not know how to open Zoom, he was pissed. As a result, he threw my stuff at the wall and forced me to clean up his mess.
Growing up in this household, I just recently notices how much of a kid he is. He is stubborn, conservative and always full of himself. AD is not the type who listens to others but loves everyone following him, always claiming he is right no matter what. He has no dream, no desire to be better. His pride is higher than his care for the kids. And like many deadbeat father and husband out there, he is a good for nothing. AD will be a grumpy and sour when anything slightly inconvenients him. Even when that "anything" is extremely vital for the well-being of his daughters. AD does not contribute anything in the house, not even his marriage nor the kids' education, only bosses around and sees red when one thing doesn't go out his way. Not to mention, he demands respect and worship for having a job offered by his rich brother and feeding the family aka doing the bare minimum.
Back to the present, after my 17th birthday, AD becomes dismissive and degrading than before. Everytime I talk about my issues WITH MY MOM, he will interrupt and dismiss them. Moreover, he starts to talk more about how hard his past is. Nothing much, just the typical "back in my days..." of immature oldies. AD is a gen X born two years after the end of Vietnam War, I totally get that he had been through shit. But the way he talks, he sounds like he takes pride from it, glorifies his struggles with a smug attitude. AD does not say it directly how proud he is about it, but by listening the way he scoffs at young city dwellers' issues, I sense not only arrogance but also bitterness.
Now, seeing his face is enough to drain my energy, let alone hearing his bs. I am surprised, everyone else is surprised that AM has not divorced him, especially after being as equally educated as lots of divorced women out there.
That is all for now, I may edit this post for more context in the future. If there is any questions you would like to ask, I will answer in the edits or in the replies. Thank you for spending time reading my rant.

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nakakapagod pala talaga intindihin mga magulang natin no? like kahit anong pang-unawa gawin ko, hindi ko sila maintindihan. I'm in 12th grade and an incoming college freshman. I have no pangarap but I've decided to take BS Industrial Engineering as I heard na this course/profession is the Jack of All Trades. Walang school around our city na nag o-offer ng program na 'to so I had to look for other schools/uni na nag o-offer ng ganitong program and yep, I found one and it's an hour away from home.
The only problem I have now is my parents won't let me study sa uni na nahanap ko kasi malayo raw and maghanap daw ako ng school around our city lang EH WALANG NGA! They told me to enroll na lang sa nearest school here sa area namin and pursue whatever program na available sa school na 'yon and naiyak na lang ako. pasabi-sabi pa na “kuhanin mo yung kurso na gusto mo, hindi ka namin papakialaman kasi ayaw naman namin na hindi ka masaya sa ginagawa mo.” tapos hindi rin naman pala paninindigan. Sasabihin lang 'yan eh tapos ipagmamalaki sa kamag-anak sabay bali ng mga pinagsasabi.
sinabi ko na rin na magta-trabaho ako para mag-dorm ako and Hindi masyado mabigat pagpapaaral sa akin pero ayaw. PUTANGINANG BUHAY TALAGA! naiiyak na lang ako rito at napapaisip kung ano pang gagawin ko sa buhay ko kung wala naman akong control dito.

• I understand na nagw-worry sila sa akin pero habang buhay na lang bang ganito? Imbes na masanay maging independent, ginagawa akong batugan.

++ Natatakot ata silang mapariwara ako. I'm very open with what I want sa parents ko and always ko sinasabi na alam ko yung concerns nila pero sila ang hindi makaintindi sa akin. Palaging sinasabi na “hindi mo alam ang mga tao sa paligid mo at kung paano sila makakaimpluwensya sa'yo.” kahit alam naman nila na kahit anong pilit sa akin e kapag ayaw ko, ayaw ko talaga kahit magkamatayan pa. Palibhasa mga naimpluwensyahan ng kung ano-ano nung kabataan nila kaya pati katarantaduhan nila dati e akala nila namamana.

I started touching my hair in 7th grade constantly, just by putting my finger on my middle part to feel the texture. I got bullied for it almost daily. I gradually began playing with it by twisting it with my fingers over time. Then some time later I began twisting it untill it became knotted and then pulling it out all at once. Then I began putting it in my mouth and all over my face because it felt nice. Then I began chewing the roots of my hair and somtimes eating it. Then I began putting my hair into my ear because it feels nice. I now have to go to school bathrooms to eat and pull my hair for a couple minutes. I just have to sleep with my hair in my mouth somtimes. So idk what is going on right now.
Idk if This is my adhd or somthing deeper is going on here
A little context:
I’m diagnosed with adhd but my parents always get mad and disappointed at me for eating through my shirts, my pens, bottle caps, pieces of plastic, my blankets, etc.And when I was little my dad would yell at me for hours because I would eat and chew my pencils and eat the lead. I’ve suffered for a lot of years because of this and was so ashamed of it since it’s been happening since I was a little girl. It’s so gross to do in public and I’ve been publicly shamed by teachers for chewing pencils. all of my school supplies look like trash, and it’s so tiring to be eating my hair while doing homework every day.
It just helps calm me down, and I’m on anziety and adhd meds, and my chewing will not go away, it’s always been a thing but gradually it’s just moved to more harmful things like my hair this year which I’m destroying. I’m worried my chewing habit will just continue to get worse. I value my hair and I have had to cut it so many times now, and I use to have such soft and long hair. It was somthing I loved dearly and seeing it lost breaks my heart, and it breaks my moms heart too. Not sure if this is just stimming or somthing else?