Letter to my son in his wedding day from mother

Mother In Laws From Hell

2016.02.19 06:46 Allie_Girl Mother In Laws From Hell

Welcome to Mother-In-Laws from Hell! This is a place to vent and get our frustrations out about our less-than-pleasant situations. Let’s help each other, and find ways to outsmart our hellish MIL's. The rules are simple...
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2008.10.24 20:05 Real Estate Investing

Interested in Real Estate Investing? You've come to the right place! /realestateinvesting is focused on sharing thoughts, experiences, advice and encouraging questions regardless of your real estate investing niche! Structured Deals, Flipping/Rehabbing, Wholesaling, Lending, Land, Commercial Real Estate and more! If it has to do with real estate investing this sub is for you!
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2010.06.22 20:33 katiejoh WeddingPlanning

Discuss your personal wedding planning here! Please be sure to check out our rules.
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2024.05.19 15:25 TheGangstaGandalf Discussion of the Diamond Handbook (Part 1)

Hey everyone, this will be my first attempt at a serious post on this sub. I’m not exactly practiced in articulating my thoughts (I’m more of a fiction writer) so please bear bull with any mistakes and please correct me if I’m wrong. The last thing I want to do is spread misinformation, I’m not an expert (or a financial advisor) on any of this. I'm here to learn, not to teach.
This post will be the first in a series of me reading through the entire Diamond Handbook (2nd) and just commentating on points I find interesting or discussion worthy. I will be asking questions as well as giving my own personal thoughts based on my understanding of the events that have transpired. I became an ape right after the sneeze, and followed a lot of the discussions back then, but have been zen for a while so I haven't fully kept up with a lot of the new developments.
I haven't actually sat down and read DD in a long time, so I decided to give myself a refresher and actually look at the Diamond Handbook (2nd) for the first time. I had read a lot of these posts as they had come out, so I had never felt the need to look at the full PDF before. For the apes that haven’t read it either, I recommend giving it a read. You can find the full DD library in the pinned post of this sub, and the Diamond Handbook is the first one there.
As I have been reading it, I’ve quickly realized that some of the stuff is a little outdated. That can’t really be helped since so much DD has been done between then and now, but this brings me to the two reasons for this post. The Diamond Handbook is likely the first piece of DD a new ape will be recommended; I want to spark discussion to clear up some things that are misguided or outdated in this handbook. The second reason is more of a personal challenge. Whenever someone denies the legitimacy of the DD, an ape usually responds by saying something like “Well, read the DD and prove it wrong”. The average MOASS denier won’t do this though, in my experience they just think it’s ridiculous on a conceptual level, and won’t take the time to actually look through all the DD available and construct a proper debate. I can’t really blame them for this though, spending so much time on something you have no interest in doesn’t sound like a fun time.
But I have a lot of interest in this, and I am an aspiring author who writes 400K word fanfictions for fun. I’ve got the time and the writing willpower. I am very big into trying to understand how a reader will interpret a piece of my writing, so I’ll be looking through that lens and will be writing this with the assumption that you have already read the Diamond Handbook (2nd). Please take the time to respond/correct what I say here, I want to learn.
With all that out of the way, let’s get started.

The Mother of All Short Squeezes (MOASS) Thesis, Published on May 26, 2021, by u(slash)HCMF_MACEFACE
Before we even get into the meat of this section I already see a bit of an issue. A lot of the language implies that MOASS is imminent, take this section for example:
*“If you don't believe me, just look at the chart of GME which our DD (Due Diligence/research/analysis) has been forecasting for a while now. The below pattern has only preceded massive spikes in price, but this time, those on the other side of the trade are going to have a much harder time suppressing the price like they did in January and March. Thanks to the activity on 5/25, we have entered the end-game. The MOASS is beginning.”* 
I think most new apes will look at this, then look at the date of posting (three years ago), and think this is delusional thinking. They will say that MOASS did not ‘begin’ because it hasn’t happened yet. This would be pretty short sighted though, GME has always been a Deep Value investment, long positions are called long for a reason. ‘Buy and HODL’ is such a repeated mantra because that is the investment strategy most apes employ. Like most investments, it takes a long time to realize gains. Your retirement account will be growing for 40+ years before you cash that thing out, GME is my retirement plan so I don’t expect it to be much different.
Just because the sneeze happened in a week doesn’t mean MOASS will, in theory it should be a very long event as both the shorts and longs have a test of wills to see who caves first. However, the sneeze was the ‘beginning’ because it was exposed a lot of the fuckery that is going on in the market right now, I think that is the message that should be taken from this section.
*“These terms are key to understanding the theory and speculated value of a GME investment. Hyperlinks to Investopedia, "the world's leading source of financial content on the web", have been included for most market terms and concepts and it is recommended to check them out if they are not clear. We will be breaking down some of the more complex terms and concepts within the post and framing them within the context of GME.”* 
After the introduction, this post does a great job of explaining all the concepts of the stock market that are relevant to the MOASS thesis. However, I do wish it mentioned some other stock terms for the sake of new investors. Since none of the DD is supposed to be financial advice, I can’t really blame them for these omissions, but at the beginning the OP does say they wanted the post to be good for newer investors, so I think some more pointing in the right direction should’ve been provided. I do appreciate the link to Investopedia, but this DD is already a novel, and the average reader might forget about that link by the time they finish it. So an additional link should’ve been provided at the end.
The two big concepts I see missing are Options and Wash Sales/Stop-Losses.
Options are interesting because they create a different type of buying/selling pressure compared to just buying/selling stocks regularly. There are concepts like gamma ramps and stuff that can be relevant when discussing catalysts for price movement. However, options are pretty scary for most investors, I’ve only ever bought one, and forgot about it so it auto-exercised for me (lol), so it’s not a concept I would call essential. I just think it’s better to be educated than not.
The much more egregious omission is that of Wash Sales and Stop-Losses. Wash Sales are extremely dangerous to new investors who still make decisions based on emotions and are not used to the volatility that comes with GME.
If you are unfamiliar, a Wash Sale is when a person sells a stock at a loss, then buys the stock again within a short period of time. As an example, let’s say you bought a stock at $50, then the stock goes down to $40.00 and you no longer feel comfortable with your investment. You sell the stock at a loss. You lost $10.00 on this transaction, but it’s not all bad. When you go to do your taxes, you can report this $10.00 loss to the IRS. This is good because if you make a $10.00 profit off another trade, you now don’t have to take taxes out of that profit, since the IRS will see this as you breaking even in the grand scheme of your portfolio. You didn’t actually make any money, so they aren’t going to tax you for it.
A Wash Sale is triggered when you buy back the stock you sold in a short period of time, this can even apply if you buy a stock in the same sector. So if you buy a stock at $50.00, sell it at $40.00 then buy it again. That $10.00 loss you took can no longer be reported to the IRS as an actual loss. So when you make $10.00 on some other trade, the IRS won’t see you as breaking even, they will tax you on that $10.00.
For a stock as volatile as GME this can be very dangerous, I know people who brought in the peak, then as the price went back down they triggered a Stop-Loss (auto-sale you can program to trigger when a price falls), only to then buy back in when the stock dropped even lower, creating a wash sale that fucked their taxes.
We say “Buy and HODL” a lot, but I think the ‘why’ of it has been lost in the meme. I personally buy and HODL because averaging down is a lot better for me than accidently triggering a Wash Sale. I fucking hate the IRS and don’t want any of that smoke.
*“SPOILER: GME and \[Popcorn\] have tons of FTDs reported.”* 
I just kinda don’t like the mention of the Popcorn stock here, it has never been a deep value investment. If you are unfamiliar with the Deep Value investment strategy, please take a look at the old Roaring Kitty livestreams. In summary, Deep Value investing is defined by looking for stocks that are extremely undervalued and unpopular due to no fault of the company. These external factors that are making the stock undervalued can be anything, shorting, COVID, stuff like that. But what makes it a Deep Value investment is always strong management within the company. If the company is not mismanaged in any way, then it is very unlikely to go bankrupt, and will have opportunities to make a comeback. GME has Ryan Cohen leading, a proven successful businessman that has already taken precautions to ensure GameStop never goes bankrupt. Popcorn just doesn’t have that. It is very short-squeezable, but it’s not deep fucking value.
*“Short sellers must eventually close, or cover, their short position.”* 
Ok, but why ‘must’ they? This is another point I think has been lost in the memes. There are two problems with just saying ‘shorts must close’ without providing context. The first is the simple fact that there isn’t a due date. Unlike a common car loan or mortgage, a short position doesn’t operate on a time table. They can wait forever to close, unless they get margin called.
This next part I’m a little shaky on, I’m probably getting some things wrong here:
Ok, well how are they going to get margin called? The problem I see is that these Short Hedge Funds (SHF) are making a lot of money by selling naked shorts. It’s really hard to get margin called when they are literally printing money, and since they don’t have to report these their books just look to be filled with an infinite amount of cash.
So, there are a couple solutions to this:
1, Government regulation. If the SEC puts a stop to naked shorting, these SHF can’t print money anymore. Eventually the interest from their positions will eat them alive, and they will get margin called. Unfortunately, MOASS has the potential to destroy the economy like in 2008, so they probably aren’t too keen on just doing this without creating some kind of safety net. So I can’t really count on them to help, because the government has a vested interest in keeping MOASS from happening. It’s just not something I believe will be the catalyst. Although they might just do it on purpose given the right reason, like pinning the economic collapse on a scapegoat, or by GameStop forcing their hand by exposing the fraud somehow. I’ve seen a lot of apes hoping for one of these reasons to come to pass, but for me, I don’t see enough motivation from the participating parties.
2, A price run-up. If the price of the stock can unbalance the books of the SHF enough then they could also get margin called. I’m not counting on this either, since the price is manipulated by the process of naked shorting. Sure, they are digging a bigger grave when they suppress the price like this, but it can also help smaller SHFs with exiting their positions with OTC stuff. Over-The-Counter trades are trades made off the lit exchanges, historically it was intended to kind of simulate a transaction between two individuals, like buying a video game from a buddy off the books, no taxes, no regulation. Unfortunately, this is abused by institutions and can’t even be used by individuals, making dark pools of trades full of fraud and undermines the free market. Smaller SHFs that are more at risk of getting Margin Called due to their lack of collateral, can make OTC trades with the big naked-shorting market makers to ‘close’ their positions using fake shares. Of course, this only passes the buck so to speak, but it’s a viable strategy for them since the big SHFs that take on these ‘bucks’ are less likely to get margin called. A lot of historic short squeezes happen because a small SHF gets margin called, then drives the price up and causes a bigger SHF to get called, and so on until they’re all in the grave. This is why I don’t really give a shit if the price goes up to $80 in a week, it’s not enough, the buck has been passed. (To be clear, I don’t have proof that this is the reason for the uptick in OTC transactions, it’s just a theory. If a smarter ape than I can get on this that would be great.) But, even if a price run-up itself doesn’t cause MOASS, it may give motivation for the true trigger:
3, Interest Rates. Here is the big one that I look at, that I believe will be the true cause of MOASS. Now please, correct me if I’m wrong again, I am just an ape who dropped out of college. So, from what I understand a Short institution has to pay a certain amount of interest to the people they borrow the stocks from. This is the cost of borrowing and is how these Lenders make money. For a long time, the interest rate was at like 1%, this means that selling one naked short could cover the cost of the interest 100 times over. However, let’s say that the interest rate becomes 110%, sounds crazy, but this would mean that borrowing the share would cost more than the share. This would destroy the balances of the SHFs and ensure they get margin called. Why would this ever happen though? Because these lenders want to make money. These lenders are the real winners of MOASS, and they aren’t talked about enough in my opinion. Lenders can’t sell the shares they’ve lent out, their income is in the interest rates, there has to be a balance here between it being more profitable to lend the shares or to sell them. If Lenders start to think that lending their shares aren’t making them more money than the alternative, they will raise interest rates to make these profits until SHFs can’t pay them, then the SHFs have to return the shares, causing MOASS with the massive buyback, then lenders can just sell the shares on the way down. Lenders have a monetary business interest in causing MOASS, so they are the most likely cause of it in my opinion.
*“This is the GME MOASS thesis. GME is a stock that stands to hit an unprecedented price point due to the fact that manipulators of the market have failed to bankrupt GameStop thanks in huge part to the Legendary Keith Gill AKA* u(slash)DeepFuckingValue*, Ryan Cohen, and all of the GME investors who took part in this saga. It may not be today, this week, or even this month, but one day soon, these toxic participants have no choice but to buy the stock to close out their short positions.”* 
I don’t think this is necessarily inaccurate, but I think it’s misguided, and the language here is a bit to emotive for my taste. I think the reason the company didn’t go bankrupt is because of the strategic share offering made by Ryan Cohen to build up more cash than the company’s valuation (at the time). All the other stuff was just dressing, DFV and retail did not make RC do this, this move by RC is what ensured the company literally can’t go bankrupt, until then (and at the time this was posted) it was still a risk in my opinion. So this huge thanks feels kinda like a pre-cum celebration, and I've never really liked putting Keith on a pedestal, he's just an individual investor, just like the rest of us.

FAQ, Published April 12, 2021, by u(slash)BYE_TRIANGLE
*“Why does Holding do anything?”* *“They need your shares to cover their short positions! They got greedy. Thinking GameStop would fail, the short sellers started Naked Shorting the stock. Long story short they created synthetic stocks with their special privileges as Market Makers. But they can’t cover a short with a synthetic share. So because of the Naked Shorting, the Short Sellers, multiple large greedy money managers, and Hedge Funds need a total number of shares greater than the number available to purchase. THEY NEED EVERY SHARE, EVEN YOURS CONAN!”* *“aRe YoU GuYs MaNipuLatIng THe MaRKeT?!”* 
Holding does something else that I think is really important. It proves that retail is not responsible for the manipulation of the price. You see it in the mainstream media every time the price fluctuates, they say that retail and Roaring Kitty is driving the price up for the memes, and that the ‘meme stock craze is dead’ whenever the price falls, claiming that retail is selling. However, it quickly becomes clear to anyone with the willingness to research that retail holds. Holding doesn’t move the price at all, so they literally can’t blame this sub for the fuckery that happens.
Now, on the flip side, I know people on the old sub to buy and sell with these fluctuations, they did it during the sneeze and I’ve seen comments claiming to do it last week. I think this is why Roaring Kitty really had to speak to congress about this, because a legitimate-seeming argument could be made that retail was buying and selling at high volumes. The loss and gain porn on the old sub could be presented as evidence. Here though, apes hold, we glaze purple doughnuts.
So when MOASS does happen, the massive price increase will be only due to buying pressure from SHFs, so they are the only ones that can take the blame for what happens next.
*“No one knows how high the squeeze could take the stock price. The best rational reasoning says that these numbers \[500k per share\] are possible through the laws of supply and demand. Furthermore, it is likely that the Short Percentage is a lot higher than reported, with many suggesting that the short-sellers, cumulatively, need more than 100% of the float to cover.”* 
A lot of naysayers will claim people are insane for thinking that phone number prices are possible. They will cite that it would make the company’s valuation higher than the amount of money in the world, which is true. However, with the nature of fraudulent naked shorts being fake, the price is fake too, and the valuation of the company doesn’t necessarily mean that the whole float will be sold at those prices. Yes, it shouldn’t be possible, by all accounts it wouldn’t make sense, but it is possible due to the naked shorting. Also, institutions that own shares likely won’t HODL out for the phone number prices, they will sell when they think it’s safe, and when they won’t get in trouble with the SEC for destroying the economy. The infinity pool (the shares that will be sold at these prices) will be a small fraction of the total amount even among retail investors. So the argument that I see against the possibility of this doesn’t hold a lot of weight.
Keep in mind that even though ‘buying pressure’ moves the price up, someone has to be willing to sell in order for someone to buy. So as the price creeps up from $100 to $1000 to $100000 to $8675309 someone will be selling on the way up to get there.
*“Synthetic long positions could be used to disguise their short positions as well, the mechanisms behind this practice utilize the options markets and could explain some of the crazy options activity that we have seen in GameStop the last few months.”* 
So uhm… I don’t understand ‘Synthetic Longs’ at all. Could an ape with more wrinkles elaborate on this? From what I can extrapolate, this may refer to an institution purchasing a naked shorted share from someone else?
*“While at the same time they employed the use of social engineering to slowly depress the positive sentiment for the stock on Reddit and elsewhere.”* *“You may have been called a Shill for one of a number of reasons. This community is very inclusive and open to everyone, but because of the blatant attacks this forum has suffered a lot of people are understandably paranoid. (Myself included). Please, unless you really are a shill, don’t take it personally.”* 
I want to address this, because there is a lot of misconception about SuperStonk. A lot of people will claim that this sub is just an echo chamber cult that can’t handle anyone questioning the narrative. This may seem true on the surface, but I think the reality is just that we’ve become hyper sensitive to the social engineering the old sub fell victim to, and I remember this sub being attacked with that as well. So whenever we see a post that has extremely emotive language, we become skeptical and down vote it. Emotions have no place in investing, that is a common rule touted in even the oldest investing books, so posts that try to incite an emotional response are shot down. Apes aren’t about to be manipulated again. That being said there are emotive posts that still get upvoted, ones with positive hype-filled narratives. Since these get upvoted and the negative ones don’t that sometimes gives the impression of an echo chamber. This is because the facts do support the MOASS thesis, so a hype title and opening paragraph is just more agreeable with the facts-based narrative. Some people are just scrolling on their phone and don’t have time to read the whole post.
However, if you go into the comments of these posts, there are apes investigating the profile history to determine if posters are bots, regardless of the pushed narrative. If you look past the upvote counter, apes are very skeptical of any post that isn’t based in fact or harmless memes. The comments rule the post, and I have to say I’ve very proud of this sub for staying vigilant in the wake of Reddit restricting moderation tools.
*“Ryan Cohen clearly believes in Gamestop, to the point of announcing that he will be taking equity as compensation. In fact, as of writing this all of the new Gamestop board members are going to be taking equity as compensation. This is seen as an incredibly bullish sign of the company's future success.”* 
This is one of the principles of Deep Value investing, I wish this was elaborated on more of why this is bullish. This means that the board, and more importantly Ryan Cohen, is tying their individual self-worth to the company. Due to this tie, they will essentially ‘go down with the ship’ if the company goes down. This means that the board and Ryan actually have an interest in the company doing well, instead of having an interest in making money off the company. You may think this sounds like the same thing, but it’s not. If RC cared more about money than the company, then he could destroy the company to make money (this is what’s happening to popcorn), but by tying his worth to the shares, the only way for him to become richer is for the company to flourish.
I don’t really like the language being used here, stuff like ‘clearly believes’ ‘seen as incredibly bullish’ are all pretty emotive and doesn’t actually explain why these are positive growth signs for the company, they are just saying it is ‘bullish’, the average new investor isn’t even going to know what that really means. Even though GME is extremely manipulated, causing Technical Analysis to become increasingly difficult to depend on, the investment is still rooted in fundamentals of deep value.
*“Below is a shortlist of some of the potential catalysts people are speculating about:* 
-A Stock Split, or some similar move from Gamestop that recalls shares
-Gamma Squeeze
-Gamestop’s Q1 Earnings Call
-Some speculate Gary Gensler (Newly appointed head of the SEC), may make some move that sets things in motion
-DTCC rule changes taking effect
-Appointment of a new CEO”
Yeah… this feels bad man. I’ve talked about this already, but we can rapid fire down this list.
The stock split didn’t work out, since those in charge of distributing the splits did it fraudulently. Gamma Squeeze is the kind of thing that could trigger a smaller hedge fund to get margin called and cause a domino effect, but I’ve shared my theory of the OTC action. Earnings are nice, but public sentiment has always been more tied to the media manipulation than actual facts. Fucking Gary.
On the subject of bringing in new talent, I do feel like a big move will happen soon. We’ve already seen a lot of job offerings from the Corporate side of GameStop so this could be the next phase of the plan. I really think that RC has spent these last few years taking precautions to make sure the company can’t go bankrupt, the last thing he wants is to turn out like Toys-R-Us. A lot of downsizing happened, so now he can start thinking about upsizing again.
I’m not necessarily saying that these things can’t trigger the squeeze, but I am saying that depending on something to start it is just inviting disappointment. I think the ‘no dates’ rule has been sorely forgotten lately with all the hype and speculation around Roaring Kitty’s tweets and stuff. I am a zen ape, it happens when it happens.
*“First of all, it is incredibly important to note your potential biases when determining if someone is just a shill trying to spread FUD. Not all FUD is invalid, someone may bring up a solid point against an otherwise great DD, and that could scare you. Remember that just because you do not like what someone is saying, doesn’t make it invalid. It is important users here work with constructive criticism to refine their theories.”* 
Damn, wasn’t I just talking about this? This critique isn’t going to just be wagging fingers, this is really good stuff that still applies today, and from what I’ve seen apes are doing a great job of distinguishing between FUD and legitimate criticism. I also want to take a second to thank the mod team, especially after their tools were restricted, they’ve been a great help.
*“…but since then retail investors have been buying on every single dip in the price… That's more than two whole months of buying-the-dip. Now, I will not speculate on numbers here, if you want to know more you will have to read the DDs on that.”* 
This is pretty outdated now. Apes have been buying for three years now, and with the advent of Direct Registering we have a much better idea of how much apes hold. I can say with confidence now that retail owns a floats worth of shares. Since there is so much naked shorting, a lot of institutions probably own their own floats too.
I glaze those purple doughnuts, yum.

Citadel Has No Clothes, Published March 14, 2021, by u(slash)ATOBITT
Ohhhh, this one is special to me, I read it when it first came out, first time I was there on release night. Let’s see how it hodls up.
*“TL;DR - Citadel Securities has been fined 58 times for violating FINRA, REGSHO & SEC regulations. Several instances are documented as 'willful' naked shorting. In Dec 2020 they reported an increase in their short position of 127.57% YOY, and I'm calling bullsh\*t on their shenanigans.”* 
58 times. I don’t actually know how much that number has gone up, but I’m sure it has. I am reminded of an old saying, that if the punishment for a crime is a fine, then it only a crime for the poor. The crime being done to GME is class warfare, it’s nothing less.
*“$295,347,948,000 of that is split into options (calls & puts), while $78,979,887,238 (20.52%) is allocated to actual, physical, shares (or so they say). The rest is convertible debt securities.”* 
This is why I’m skeptical that it’s even possible for Citadel to get margin called by a normal price run-up. Let’s do some math here. GME’s float is at 232 million-ish shares, let’s say they shorted 300% of that, just to be conservative (lmao), so that’s 696 million. To take what the first post said, Margins don’t get called unless an entities’ collateral becomes less than 80% of what they’ve borrowed. If they use their entire $384,926,232,238 portfolio as collateral, then GME would have to soar to a price of… divide by 4, multiply by 5… $691.32 per share. That may sound relatively reasonable, but I don’t think a normal catalyst would be enough for that. I really think interest rates are the key, think about it, if they have to pay like 30% interest on all of those shares, their portfolio will be reduced by that much (kinda) and we can find a much more reasonable midpoint. Now brace yourselves, I’m about to spend an unreasonable amount of effort on something that is probably wrong because I don’t know shit about fuck about margins or getting called (I have a cash account and I lack rizz).
In order to calculate that we gotta do one of those double equation variable bullshit things we all hated in school, I forgot what they were called but I remember how to do them.
So, we have a few variables:
C = Citadel’s Portfolio = $384,926,232,238
S = Shorted Shares = 696,000,000
I = Intrest = 0.30
X = Price Per Share
Y = Citadel’s new portfolio amount after paying interest
So, X and Y are undetermined, but we have two equations to work with
C – I(X*S) = Y
This one calculates how much money is going to be in citadels new portfolio after paying interest, we calculate the interest by multiplying the cost per share, by the amount of shorted shares, and multiplying that by the interest rate, then subtracting it from their total portfolio.
Y * 1.25 = X * S
This one calculates the total amount those shorted shares have to be in order for Citadel to get margin called, by multiplying their new portfolio by 5/4 and calculating the total cost of the shares.
X * S has a direct value; we can plug the left side of the second equation into the first to get
C – I(Y*1.25) = Y
Now we just gotta isolate Y on one side of the equation.
C = Y + 0.3(Y*1.25)
C = 1.3Y * 0.375
C= 0.4875Y
C * 0.4875 = Y
Y = $187,651,538,216.03
Now we gotta find X, we can just plug in the other stuff.
(Y* 1.25)/ 696,000,000 = X
X = $337.02 per share for shitadel to get margin called on 30% interest.
Holy shit, now that’s what I call reasonable. See how much interest can completely fuck a portfolio? They lost almost half of their portfolio value to a 30% interest to this. This is why the whole market will bleed red on the run up to MOASS, they will have to sell half of their portfolio just to pay the interest.
Citadel is probably not a good example of this, since they print the naked shorts themselves... so they would be paying interest to... themselves... when they borrow them? Citadel is so fucked up, I don't have enough wrinkles for this.
But hey, I think the concept of what I said is fine. High interest rates can reduce collateral and cause margin calls. Hey, just out of curiosity, how much is the borrowing interest rate looking now?
16.5%
SHF are fucked.

Anyway, I’m writing this on a Wordpad document so I’m not sure if I’ve come up on the character limit, but I think I’m getting close so I’ll end this part here. Please let me know what I’ve got wrong or any insights you want to share, I’ll be sure to talk about any interesting comments when I do a part 2!
TLDR: I am reviewing the Diamond Handbook (2nd) and seeing what has changed in the three years since it’s been compiled. I have a bias in thinking that high borrowing interest rates are what will cause MOASS, and that is shown here. This is not meant to be an impartial analysis, just my thoughts. Not financial advice.
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2024.05.19 15:22 nun_atoll 4

Frank could have slept in the trailer, but he preferred being in the van under current circumstances. He could scare off anyone who got a bright idea to try and steal the vehicle, for one thing. And if something happened in the motel room, if Jenna and Mike needed help, he was closer.
Not that any of that seemed likely; this place seemed dead as hell.
The motel was a not-too-busted-down place. The town it sat at the edge of was a wide-spot-in-the-road type. An out-of-the-way hamlet, some might call it. To Frank's parents, the town would have seemed ideal. Small enough to seem homey and friendly — and Christian, of course — but large enough to have the basic amenities: a pool of suckers for Mama's MLM sales and other schemes, people looking for someone like Papa who could at least seem to fix anything for cheap, and an attitude that led people to mind their own business, even with new folks and strangers, leaving no one too inclined to call in Youth Services or the equivalent at every sign of a bruise or a scrape or bleeding backs or broken limbs.
They'd done a lot of midnight runners out of places where people showed some level of neighborly concern. Left a lot of things behind in rented houses and apartments.
The best time had been when Frank was between the ages of five and seven. They lived with Grampa and Gramma Schnedeker then, and all the kids who were old enough got to go to proper school for a while, like school-school. Grampa Schnedeker needed a lot of looking after, and Gramma wanted the kids out of the house at least a few hours a day so as not to disturb him too much.
Since they got to go to school, Frank and his siblings right on either side actually learned to properly read and do the beginnings of math and such. Mama said all they needed to read was the Bible, and Papa said math was only important as far as helping him measure and cut lumber and pipe for projects, but still, the kids learned. And when Grampa Schnedeker died and the family moved on, the kids who had got school for a while tried to keep up and to teach things to the little ones.
That got stopped pretty quick, and Mama took over the "lessons," which really just meant she handed the kids their little workbooks every morning after breakfast and left them to work — QUIETLY as she always demanded — while she went and schmoozed sales or whatever. All the boys stopped having any "lessons" after 10 years old. That was when they would start going to work with Papa.
All the boys besides Frank, anyway. But that was before anyone besides Frank even knew that Frank was a boy.
And boy, had that been Hell on Earth when he finally outright told them he was a boy. Mama went to scream-praying like she tended to, and Papa tried to beat Frank to death, and then he did other things that really almost did kill Frank, but luckily Susie called 911.
It was Hell after, too. All that time in the hospital, and the stuff was on the news, and then Frank was sent to foster parents practically across the country. Those first ones were okay, except they also didn't believe Frank was a boy. They just tried to send him to a conversion therapist, who somehow luckily realized that there was no converting Frank and tipped off the social workers. Frank got new foster parents who accepted him, helped him get a name change, and even let him stay with them after he aged out of the foster system, until he could get his GED and see about college.
And then there was college, with his new name and his new clothes and finally being himself, and then the year of college, he met Jenna, and everything since then had been almost golden.
He could not sleep, crunched up in the driver's seat of the van with his head full of memories, so instead he just let it all play, the good and the bad, until it was almost sunrise and he needed to piss like a racehorse.
Then he got out of the van and went to knock at the door of the motel room. After he peed, he would ask Jenna if she minded taking the first shift driving today.
Gotta be up early and get everything together. Danna hated cooking, so Derick made breakfast, got the kids settled, and carried a plate back to his wife, still ensconced in the big bed in the back of the RV.
God had said that the wife should be the one to tend to the home and children, had he not? And yet, if the wife was unable to do some part of that, surely the man, in his free moments, should try and help. Thus, Derick would cook and would see that the children had breakfast, since Danna had such trouble sleeping, and then had trouble waking in the morning, especially when she was pregnant.
And if Danna's mother had never taught her to cook, well, that was the sin of Peggy Lynn Sooks, not her daughter. God would punish Peggy for her failures as a wife and mother.
Other than the sleeping trouble and the aversion to some of the arts of housewifery, Danna was excellent. She was really smart, figuring out how to put together all the social media stuff. And she was always ready to go whenever God told Derick they needed to pick up and move on. She greeted each trip, long or short, with joy, and she treated her other wifely obligations with equal joy.
Perhaps too much joy, sometimes. Danna, for example, took great joy in the act of procreation. That was good, of course, for they were to be fruitful and multiply and spread their family over the Earth to carry the Truth of God's message.
But the act of procreation, sacred and holy as it might be, was never something Derick greatly enjoyed. He did not, as he knew some husbands did, press his wife to fulfill her duties every night. In fact, their marriage had not been conssumated for nearly two months after the wedding, simply because Derick was disinclined. It took Danna reminding him that God's holy word also said a husband should satisfy his wife, and then they finally joined fully in their union.
Still, they did not do it often, unless Danna pressed Derick. As the years went on, she did so more and more, and so he let her have her desire. It was his duty as a husband.
Today, they would stay here. God had said they would be here about a week. Danna seemed happy with that, and the children seemed pleased as well.
They always seemed happiest when the family stopped wandering a while.
Derick had tried to explain to the children why they moved around so much, and why they must keep doing so. He thought perhaps the oldest two boys were beginning to understand. The little ones were still far from such wisdom, but there was time yet.
There was time.
3 Table of Contents
submitted by nun_atoll to liulfr [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:22 andrew687 A Texas Home [Long]

Once upon a time, a Texan married a woman from Tennessee.
Before they got married, the Texan made it clear to his soon-to-be wife that he was born in Texas, he would always live in Texas, and he would die in Texas. His bride loved him so much and would never want to change him, so she agreed.
After a few years of wedded bliss, the Texans’ bride came to him and said, “my aunt who I love has fallen ill and she lives just across the Texas border in Texarkana. Surely that’s still close enough to Texas we could move there until she’s better?”
The Texan thinks about it and agrees, they move to Texarkana and settle in for a few years. The aunt is nursed back to health, and the Texan readies to move back to his homeland. Then his wife has another spot of bad news.
“Dear,” she says, “my grandfather just called to say he only has a year or two left to live. He’s up in Oklahoma, but just a town over from Texahoma. Surely that’s close enough to Texas that we could go and be with him?”
The Texan sighs deeply, so close to going back home and yet, he loves his wife, and so he agrees that Texahoma is close enough. They move, settle in, and the Texan and his bride enjoy the remaining time with her beloved grandfather.
Not long after the grandfather passes, the Texan’s beloved comes to him with a fantastic opportunity.
“As you know,” she begins, “I’ve been up for promotion for a while, and my company has finally come through! The only problem is that the new position would require me to move to Denver, Colorado. I know you were hesitant about Texarkana, and that Texahoma was really stretching it. I don’t want you to change who you are and give up Texas, but this promotion would mean a lot for both of us.”
“Give me two days to think it over,” he says, and she agrees.
Two days later, the Texan comes back to his wife and says, “I’ve got it all figured out, even bought us a place to call our own. Pack your bags, we’re moving to Denver!”
So they pack everything up and drive on over. After a long and uneventful drive, they arrive in Denver proper, and pull into a gas station.
“We’re here!” the Texan states proudly. “Our new home!”
“A gas station?” his betrothed questions with a hint of incredulity.
“Not just any gas station, look at the sign! It’s a Texaco!”
submitted by andrew687 to Jokes [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:19 PepperSeed22 It Costed Her More

My friend and I planned a spur-of-the-moment trip to Texas. Round trip from NY to Houston was under $200 but her son is an airline employee and got her a buddy pass. I arranged my flight on a different airline to arrive and depart within minutes of hers so we'd meet up at the airport around the same time. We spent 5 days in an airbnb. There was a little dust on the ceiling fan so after 2 days she complained to airbnb headquarters and got a refund plus a credit towards another apartment. We ate out daily and daily she either complained about the food after she ate it and got a refund or another meal to go, on the house. We went to the mall and she stopped in Tiffany's to get complimentary Perrier water instead of just purchasing a drink in the mall. It was finally time to go home. Her flight took off first, mine was scheduled 15 minutes later. When I landed at JFK, I called her to let her know I landed and where to meet me as my daughter was there to drive us home. She said she was still in Houston... she was not able to get a seat on stand-by! Long story short, she wasn't seated on the next two flights and ended up having to wait until the following afternoon to finally get a flight home. She had to pay for a hotel overnight, buy her dinner, and possibly breakfast, and had to spend on an Uber ride home from NYC to Long Island, and that ain't cheap! She spent way more in one day than she saved over our 5 day trip!😁🤭
submitted by PepperSeed22 to My_friend_is_so_cheap [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:18 Forward3000 The Woman of the Lake

Kieran was my first boyfriend and also the one who helped me to lose weight. He threw out my junk food (including my hidden stash), made me exercise, and monitored my calories and credit cards.
"He's controlling you," said my sisters.
"And it's working!" I struck a pose for them. They were just jealous.
When I reached my final goal, Kieran finally asked me to move in with him. I was ecstatic!
After I moved in, Kieran received an anonymous letter.
Inside was a black and white photo of a teenage girl. She was a large girl, lying on her back on a wooden raft which floated on a stream. She had her eyes closed like she was sleeping.
'This is your grandmother, Alma' said the note. Plus address details. That was it.
As a baby, Kieran had been abandoned at an orphanage.
"Kieran..." I laughed, "this looks pretty sketch."
However Kieran was more trusting.
"You mean a scam? How?"
"I - don't know. Look at it. A single photo and you're convinced?"
"But she looks just like me! How's it a scam? What's the angle?"
The address was 3 hours away. I begged him not to go, but he just replied that I didn't have to come.
"I guess it's nice that you know your family." he said
So we drove out there. Along the way, I wondered if Kieran was first attracted to me because I had been big like his grandmother? Or his mother? But he hadn't met them then, I reminded myself. Could he be genetically attracted to me? Was that even a thing?
The sun was setting when we arrived.
I stepped out of the car and stretched. It was a grassy, country area, where the houses were few and far between. Her house was a small cottage that looked old and rundown.
I walked towards it, but Kieran stopped me. "Listen."
Running water. Distant but distinct.
Kieran walked behind the house. I followed him. And there it was. It was the same stream from the photo.
Kieran turned to me. "I knew it," he whispered tearfully.
He quickly walked towards the stream, as I told him to wait up. He stood at the water's edge and looked down.
As I trudged through the grass, I noticed a large grey shape on the bank. It looked like a headstone.
*ALMA WOODBRIDGE
1956 - 1973*
I shivered in the crisp evening air. So she was dead? Then who had sent the letter?
"Kieran," I walked over to him. "What are you doing?"
He continued staring down blankly into the water.
"Kieran, your grandmother... she's dead."
"Yes she drowned,' he replied. "But she will live again."
His strong hands suddenly pushed me forward. Shock rocked me as I collided with the cold water, but I absolutely lost my mind when Alma's icy fingers touched me, finally claiming her brand new body. I thrashed uselessly as she possessed me.
"I've always wanted to be slim!" I rasped with delight.
submitted by Forward3000 to shortscarystories [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:18 microwaved_ice_cream [REVIEW] Back from Ban Island!! Loewe Flamenco Mini in Burgundy + Gold from Hyper Peter

Hello Ladies and Gents, it’s been a while since I’ve been active in Rep-land but I am happy to be putting words back on print with a mini review for a mini bag! I have a few weddings to attend to this coming summer so I knew I would need a handy sidekick to spruce up my looks. Naturally, the purse closet had nothing to wear (y’all know what I mean) so I turned to social media to look for inspiration and found this mini beauty from Loewe! My sister was in the market for a Loewe Puzzle and she wanted to get one from Hyper Peter, so I tacked on asking about my Flamenco. Thank goodness for my handy rolodex of rep resources, HP had both bags we wanted in stock!! A little bit of a wait due to HP being on much needed vacation, but in the end, he delivered and happy to report both bags are stunning!
About the author: I am a Loewe Lover through and though. The Puzzle has my heart and I’ve convinced my sister to get one for herself. We frequent the Loewe store often and it’s been a bad habit of mine trying on their bags. I always wanted this mini Lambskin baby so when the situation presented itself, I decided to go for it and buy at the same time as my sister! Been a replady since OG RL days but stepped a way from Reddit for a bit to put a cap on my spending habits (it was going a bit overboard especially when I started buying 18K reps…)
PHOTO TIME!!
My photos ❤️
HP does not usually disclose factory or factory pics and I didn’t ask but I know he has amazing Loewe Puzzles. Example 1 / Example 2
NO PSPs Opted out because I am an old time buyer of his.
~Authentic on Loewe website~ And this review was helpful too for details and mod shots! Also Purseblog’s 60 second review.
Disclosure: I didn’t receive a discount or anything in exchange for this review
Seller: Hyper Peter
Whatsapp: +44-774-303-8638
Instagram: Hyperpeter7
Product: Loewe Flamenco Mini in Nappa Lambskin
Price: 1300 yuan plus 480 yuan (for shipping 2 bags) Fedex shipping no branded Loewe box total 1540 yuan or $213 usd
Paid by: Wise
Timeline:
⏳ Messaged Peter and paid on April 3
⏳ Confirmed with Peter that the bags are available April 3-4
⏳ Opted out of the PSPs because of the additional charge, Peter showed me pictures of the actual bag he sells and I figured it would be similar enough to it.
⏳ May 14 received the bags, worth the wait in my opinion!!
QUALITY:
1. THIS LEATHER IS BUTTERY!!! I can’t express how supple and luscious this lambskin is in words! It is incredibly soft, zero hint of dryness, thick yet malleable. It actually looks and feels very very close to the auth Loewe Flamenco I fondled at the store, buttery AF!
2. The pouch shape is correct, with correct stitching on the base of the bag and the top section that bunches up randomly in buttery folds (hence the name of the bag because the ruffles mimic a Flamenco dancer’s dress!) that look both elegant and casual at the same time. The opening of the pouch is cinched at the top with two leather knotted drawstring straps which can be used as the handles for this bag (as a low key clutch), but as a security feature, there’s also a magnetic closure that seals the opening of the bag, perfect for keeping your goodies in the bag!
3. This bag has not 1 but 2 straps! A beautiful “donut” ring strap with interwoven leather in alternate lacing and the second strap is an adjustable leather cinch strap that slides long and short depending on whether you want to use it as a shoulder bag or cross body!
4. The only other hardware of the bag is in the snap clasps which are nicely weighted and match the yellow gold tone of the donut chain. All function as needed.
ACCURACY:
1. Here are the dimensions of the auth Mini Flamenco: – Weight: 0.18 kg , Height : 17 cm ,Width : 23 cm , Depth : 5.5 cm. Admitedly I don’t have a scale so can’t weigh this bag myself but obviously for it’s size it’s very light. Here’s what I got for my measurements: Height : 17 cm, Width : 24 cm, Depth : 5 cm. I’d say this is a good match for the dimensions.
2. The first strap, the leather knotted version is removable and adjustable with a minimum length of 82 cm and max of 142 cm. The donut chain strap is 36 cm for mine.
3. The Donut strap gold tone is yellow, perhaps a touch more yellow than auth, but the luster and gloss is correct, it also is very dependent on lighting so I am not docking points off this because it’s verry hard to judge if you don’t have the auth next to it.
4. The shape, engravings and weight of the hardware are a good likeness for the auth. The snap hooks on the strap are the correct shape, have good functionality and are correctly branded with the Loewe logo.
5. Everything about the leather is just delicious. I can’t complain because I remember the auth being very similar in feel to the softness and density of this nappa lambskin. The burgundy shade is pretty much an exact match to the auth. The knotted drawstrings do not feel flimsy, the thickness and density are appreciated and even for a small bag, I don’t need to baby it.
6. The make/craftmanship of the bag is top notch. The suede lining is well lined, stitched well and no loose or faulty craftmanship anywhere. The pouch opening leather is well folded and stitched over.
7. I will deduct points for the thread being a shade too light compared to the auth. I am not too fussed about it but I did want to call that out for those who are concerned with the minute details. Taking one point off here.
8. Interior suede is thick, has good dense feeling and has a very nice texture. The interior datecode and logo match the auth well.
WFIMB:
Well this bag is teensy weensy, so other than my phone, a pack of issues, a cardholder, a compact and lipstick I am not really adding anything to it….I mean, what do you REALLY need at a wedding except for these few items?! A pack of gum or tictacs? Easy peasy, done deal. At any rate, whatever essentials you’d need for dressing up, this baby can handle it and that’s all you need in here anyways!
SATISFACTION:
I honestly didn’t expect to love this bag so much, but now I see any ladies love it and say it’s a good part of their collection. I was on the hunt for a small but practical bag, and with all the different ways this bag can be carried it’s quickly becoming a standout for any time I need a small elegant but functional bag for parties or nights out.
It’s my first burgundy colored bag (I was initially going to get the black) but I am glad I went for this pop of color. The burgundy is very deep, classy and understated in color but still pleasant to the eyes. I am not considering getting a puzzle in the dark burgundy as well just because this color is growing on me.
SELLER SATISFACTION:
Peter has always been one of my go to sellers. I know there have been many members who feel jilted that his communication has been few and far in between but I took the patient route and just waited for my bag to arrive (my order took over a month from start to finish, by the way). Perhaps it’s because I am a seasoned rep buyer and also a long time client of Peter’s so I was sure I would get my bag in the end. I find the best way to enjoy repping is to not stress over the small stuff and trust the process (and your gut of course). The mods here do an awesome job of guiding and advising when it comes to reviews and sellers so I knew that if I needed help, they’d have my back. But in all honesty, my bag arrived to me safely, my payment and ordering process were smooth sailing and the bag itself was certainly within my budget. For all these reasons and more, Peter will always have a top spot in my rep rolodex for reliable bags and service.
THE WRAP UP:
This bag is divine and being quite nonchalant about what others think or say, I would proudly wear this to any party or date night I go to. I would likely not flaunt it around my usual Loewe store (those SAs all recognize me) but I wouldn’t mind wearing it into a high end department store. My sister’s puzzle is absolutely accurate to the authentic though, I will help her write up a review for that one when I get a chance. I’d give Peter’s Loewe gold stars for the incredible value for the price!

submitted by microwaved_ice_cream to WagoonLadies [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:17 mmc_owl THE REAL NIGERIAN VERDICT! (On the faux Markle Royal Tour)

THE REAL NIGERIAN VERDICT! (On the faux Markle Royal Tour)
THE REAL NIGERIAN VERDICT! (On the faux Markle Royal Tour) ✳️Article by Dan Wootton. 14/05/24 Donu Kogbara, the famous Nigerian journalist and broadcaster who was kidnapped eight years ago in a story that made her a household name, gave a scathing verdict. Her family is considered Nigerian royalty and she has been described as Africa’s version of Lady Colin Campbell. But she said: “I thoroughly disapprove of Harry and Meghan. I know that a lot of people feel sorry for them – they listen to Meghan’s tales of woe about having been through terrible racism at the hands of the British media and the British Royal Family and the British establishment. “I just can’t help thinking that she exaggerated a lot of this stuff because she just didn’t want that life. “Meghan just didn’t want a life full of duty. Within the context of the British Royal Family, duty means things like opening hospitals in obscure towns, waving endlessly at crowds…for her, a more glamorous exciting lifestyle is infinitely preferable. “She said to Oprah: ‘Someone even asked what colour my baby would be.’ That’s not racism. I mean, in Nigeria, we were watching the whole drama of Meghan being pregnant, and many of us were also wondering what colour the baby would be. Meghan is mixed race. She’s half white and half black, and even her black mother looks as if she might have a touch of whiteness somewhere in her ancestry, so it’s intriguing to figure out how a child that comes from such a union might look – could look white, could look black, could look in between. Why is it racist for Harry’s relatives to wonder when, here in Africa, we’re also wondering. I married a white man. I went through the same thing with people speculating on how my son would look.”
“I don’t understand why, if she disrespects the British Royal Family and the monarchy so much, why is clinging to the title they gave her? Duchess of Sussex! If I were her, I would give that title up. I’d say, I don’t like you people, you’re racist or you’re cold or you’re whatever, you can take your title, I’m not interested. If Harry wants to keep his, fine, he was born with it, but I don’t need it because I’m a proud independent black woman. But no, instead she clings to the title and is constantly trying to monetise it.” On Harry, she added “he’s very treacherous” and “a weakling”.
Article by Dan Wootton. 14/05/2024
submitted by mmc_owl to SaintMeghanMarkle [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:16 Bence978_ I went searching for my missing friend in the woods, I finally got revenge, but at what cost?

January 2nd. 2024.
It's been about a year since the incident happened. I've been in therapy for as long as I can remember after that horrible night. I got a prosthetic for my left leg, and was able to walk somewhat normally again shortly after. I haven't told anyone about that horrible night, not even my family. My friends, who were there at the start of all of this visited me every day while I was in the hospital, begging me to tell them what happened, but I lied, and told them I didn't remember anything. Little did they know, I not only crystal clearly remember what happend, I also knew what I was going to do as soon as I could walk normally again.
February 27th. 2024.
I could finally walk on my own again, and when I got released from the hospital, I immediately knew what I had to do. I rushed home and started planning. This time, I would plan it out, not just run in there and take my chance. I began planning the following day.
March 9th. 2024.
I've collected all my ideas, and decided that the hunt would be on March 15th. However, I knew I couldn't do this alone, seeing as what happend last time, so I decided to call my uncle, who is an ex-marine, and knows all the camoflauge techniques that a civilian does not. Lucky for my, he belives in all kinds of folklore, mainly native american ones, so he was down to help me. Hes the only person I told this story to, since I know I could trust him with my life. In the following days, he tought me all differnet kinds of techniques like camouflage in "plain sight" and the hand signals used in the marine corps. Only one thing remained, the weapons. Since the police confiscated all of my weapons after the last incident, I had nothing, but my uncle told me not to worry about it.
March 15th. 2024.
The day was here. The meetup was schedueld to 11pm, but I was already at the place where we said we'd meet up, even though it was 10 minutes earlier. When all of a sudden I heard that scream... That same blood curdling scream I heard way back. But I wasn't scared anymore. Shortly after my uncle shows up with full marine corps camouflage uniforms and plate carriers, along with two M4 Carbines loaded up with holographic sights, lasers, flashlights and all the above. He also brought an old winchester Model 1873, which he told me only to use if I'm certain that I'm about to shoot at the entity in question. He said because it was loaded with white ash tree rubbed bullets. He started saying something else too, but was cut off by that same horrible scream, so we quickly dressed up, and made our way into the woods.
March 15th. 2024. 11:10pm
We entered the forest with adrenalyn pumping in our bodies and quickly took position in an abandoned cabin a few hundred feet into the woods. we quickly shut the door behind us and began discussing the next hours.
11:30pm.
We were still discussing when we heard a knocking sound coming from the door. I shouted out "Who the hell is it?! What do you want?!" But it just kept knocking. My uncle knows morse code, and he translated that it said, "Your Blood" over and over again. Then it just stopped. Like the source of the noise just simply dissapeared. And after a few moments of eerie silence, a window broke in the room next to the on we were in, and something was running towards the door. My uncle instantly yelled, "Take cover!", so that's what I did. I ducked and heard his M4 go off on fully automatic. He popped off 20 rounds at the door and very likely hit something, since the anomaly let out a huge scream. My uncle grabbed me by my arm and pulled me up. Then we jumped out the window and took off running.
11:35pm.
We ran for about a mile when we deemed it safe to stop for a drink. When I sudenly noticed that the old Winchester my uncle gave me was missing, so I informed him immediately. He turned to me with a huge smile on his face. Then it hit me... I didn't have an uncle... The damn thing implanted itself in my memory.. A moment of sheer panic later it pulled out the gun and shot my prosthetic and I fell to the ground. I quickly reached for my M4 and let out a burst of fire towards it. I scored a hit to its thigh, and so it ran away.
12:00am.
I collected my thoughts, and somehow managed to get up. I realized I needed to get out of there as soon as possible. Only one problem, I had no idea of where the way out was. So I just started walking in a random direction. I lost track of time after this, since my watch had been ruined. After what felt like forever, I saw a light in the distance. As I got closer to it, I realized it was a huge bonfire, surrounded by a ton of theese entities. They were just standing there, it was almost mesmerizing in a way, how they stood perfectly still around the fire, but I knew I had to focus. I realized that I had a flare gun in my pocket, so I pulled it out and shot it up. This caused all of them to look at me, then dissapear. The fire went out and the flare was the only source of light in the entire forest. Then I heard something running towards me from the back.
12:00am+
I turned and saw one of theese things in all it's "glory" sprinting towards me on all fours. I shot all my bullets at it, which somehow caused it to drop dead. As I went closer to examine it, I was disgusted by the smell of it, it was like rotten flesh. I looked at the carcass and saw a huge pentagram on its back. So I backed off and started praying. I may be crazy, but I heard a voice say to me, "Go 88 steps forward, then 6 left". So I did just that, and saw a white ash tree, and I instantly knew what to do. I grabbed 30 bullets and rubbed every single one of them on the tree. Then something snapped inside me, I yelled up "Come and get me!" at the top of my lungs. And right away, several creatures started rushing towards me. 5 shots, 5 dead entities. But then I saw IT... The thing that started all of this. It wanted me dead. Then suddenly the flare died out. I quickly turned on my laser and flashlight, and the final battle had begun.
About 12:30am.
The entity took the form of my so called "uncle", and quickly ran in a bush. But I wasn't ready to let it slip away again. So I shot about 10 rounds into the bush, and it ran out of it. I took my chance, and with my remaining bullets, I shot it. It dropped and screamed in agony. I went up to it, and realized it had dropped that old Winchester, so I picked it up, and put a bullet in it's skull. And with that it was all over. At least I thought.
March 16th. 2024.
After I got home, I dropped, and fell asleep. When I woke up I decided that the best thing to do was go to church, since those things were most likely demonic. As soon as I entered the church the priest saw me, and fainted. I had to call an abulance for him. I heard he died later that day. The same day, I found out my entire family was killed in a horrible car accident. And so I realzed I had been cursed for life. Anyone who was considered my loved one had died in the following weeks, only I had remained. So in the end, I got revenge for my friend, but was it worth it?
submitted by Bence978_ to nosleep [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:14 pohltergiest Spoke broke part 4

Spoke broke part 4
Where were we, ah yes. We piled into the train, which was not empty but had enough room. It took us a few stops to arrange ourselves to not be in the way, but there's only so much you can do when you're taking up the room of six people at once. The sky steadily darkened as we headed north, the local train trundling along at a steady pace. It felt a little slow, but whereas we might go 120km/h on the highway back home, it's pretty common for major roads here to have a speed limit of 50 and it's not common for it to be exceeded.
We arrived in shinjo, awkwardly carrying our bikes through the station. It was night and we needed some food. Beside snack bars, there was a Korean place open, so we went there. It was on a dim street, lit only by the colourful signs of the handful of bars and restaurants on the street. The doorway was short, so we ducked into a low ceilinged place that looked like a basement ftom the 80's. Wood panelling, faded posters, and a bunch of fridges with cold drinks inside. The cook welcomed us in and we sat at a low table on the ground across the little room from a rowdy group of men who looked like they had been there for awhile already. We ordered karaage and stone bowl bimimbap. The chef seemed happy that we wanted it spicy. He kept popping out to make sure we knew how to eat the food, him stirring Bryce's bowl of bimimbap for him since Bryce has never had the dish.
When we were nearly done eating and the other table had stopped shouting for more stuff, the chef pulled up a chair in the doorway of the kitchen and chatted us up. He said he was from Korea and he had been in Japan for 36 years. He loves skiing and wanted to show us his pictures. He loved to hear our story of us biking across the country, asking about different details along the way. When we were done eating, he brought out two small cans of Korean soda for us to enjoy and then when we had finished that, he said that the meal was on him. "My heart", he said, when we insisted that we should pay. We gave him as many candies as he would accept, but graciously took the offering.
Outside we headed to our best shot at a campsite, a day camping spot about 5 km away, well outside of shinjo. It was very dark on the way out, but nobody was on the road and the road was good, so we had no problems. The campsite looked good, with working bathrooms. It was a little overgrown, which was a good sign. Don't want to be camping in a park that will be well used on a Sunday morning. We found a quiet corner in a stand of weeds across a little stream that looked like it hadn't had foot traffic in a decade. We got set up and got to bed, it being very late. A cat watched us atop a fallen tree, it's eyes glowing an eerie red in the light of our headlamps.
Although we short stacked on sleep, I had a good one as my sleeping mat finally held up after four repairs. I don't trust it yet, but I'm happy for the sleep. Our campsite was in deep shadows behind a stand of thick trees, so we stayed nice and cool for the first two hours of the day. We got organized and ate the breakfast we bought the night before on a bench in the park, remarking at how the children's playsets wouldn't have weeds growing around them if there were any kids who used this park.
We could feel the heat and humidity really starting to ramp up, so we were ready to get going. After packing up, we set off west for the coastline and the aquarium. We got about ten kilometers before I ran over what I thought was a branch, both of us paranoid of a broken spoke at this point. Just to be sure I checked my spokes, sure enough I had a broken one. My face getting hot from frustration, I sat down and started wrenching spokes to tighten what I could, swearing and cursing that we lost another one. This couldn't be that hard. I didn't have a proper spoke wrench, which was making this kind of maintenance very difficult. Regardless, it'd need to be replaced and while I had many spares now, shops were hard to find. We were 15km from shinjo, so we could head back, or go forwards and try our luck with some transit.
We decided to go forward, as we'd spend all day going back to the city to get repairs done. May as well get them done in the place we were already heading to. There was a train station nearby, so we biked the 5km to get there. Along the way I noticed that I did a terrible job with the spokes, making the wheel wobble and bump as I tugged it into an egg shape. Not great. When we arrived, the train station looked permanently closed. The tracks had a layer of rust on top indicating that no train had run here for some time. We looked around and found notices that a replacement bus was running this line. Would it be a small passenger bus or a large coach bus with luggage compartments? We decided to wait the hour and find out.
As we waited, it got hot and sticky. I read some guides on spokes and wheel trueing. I've had some difficulties with learning new things, but the upset feelings with losing the ability to bike confidently helped to spur me along. It doesn't look too hard, but I'll need a spoke tool. Next time we're in a city with a few minutes to spare I'll get one. From what I can see, it's likely the super fast sections we're doing where we're fully loaded and hitting bumps in the road at 60km/h. These cause wild tension spikes in the spokes and lead to fatigue and breakage. We just can't be doing such intense speeds and hitting things like potholes. We also need to check the spoke tension after big rides. I'm going to try to incorporate it into lunch breaks.
Eventually the bus came and it was thankfully a coach bus. After some wrangling we got the bikes in the luggage compartment and got on the bus. I sat, a little dazed, as I looked out the window. I reflected on why bike failures cause me such grief, it doesn't matter if we spend the day trying to get repairs, and yet I'm upset like I've been mugged. I suppose the bikes are our independence and mobility out here, something we control. I get a sense of safety from them, knowing I can get to food and shelter. When they break, not only is my movement hampered, now I have a big awkward expensive dead weight that I can't leave for extended periods of time. Getting it fixed is hard and there are often only one or two places per city that can do it. It's scary having a breakage in the countryside because we have no ability to call a cab on our own. It's a long string of "ifs" to get back to moving and the cascading failure of plans makes me very upset. I tried my best to remind myself that this is all part of the challenge, and besides, I would never, ever, learn things in any way other than the hardest. All we need is for a massive failure on the bike to lead to an injury, that'd be the hardest way to learn. Sweating as we haul our bikes through station platforms instead of drinking lemon sours by the ocean seems like a decent enough pounding to get me to learn some maintenance skills.
We arrived at the bus terminus and made our way up and over a train station and down to a platform to catch a train to tsuruoka. Both the departing station and arriving station were both super hard to get our bikes though, and people really liked staring at us as we struggled. There was just one chance in this city, one shop that looked to be equipped to fix bikes like ours. Would it be open today, we'd have to go there to find out. Riding the kilometer to the shop through the little city tucked in between two mountain ranges, we arrived to find the store was closed, but there was a biking team loitering around after finishing a ride. We greeted them and asked them about their team and if they knew anything about the shop. They indicated that they were closed for lunch and they'd be back in a while. Small town stuff. We decided to follow suit and went to find some lunch ourselves.
A short walk and a nice chinese restaurant serving lunch meal sets later (I got shrimp in a chili sauce) we headed back to find all but one of the bike team members had left and an old man and a lady were there eating rice balls on a bench outside the shop, which had an open door now. Music was drifting out, so we poked our heads in. Nobody was inside, so we asked the guy from the biking team if he knew where the mechanic was, to which he indicated the old guy was the mechanic, much to our embarrassment. The old fellow jumped up and finished his rice ball and started right away after what our issues were. The spoke replacement was an easy one so he took the wheel inside and started on that. I was relieved, but still very stressed so I decided to sit down and clean my bike for the first time. I recalled my first engineering job where I was taught that the first step to repairing a machine was to clean it, and until you could manage that you didn't belong around tools. Bryce likewise tried to do some maintenance as well.
I'll finish this story tomorrow, it's supposed to rain in the morning and I can catch up then.
submitted by pohltergiest to RainbowRamenRide [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:11 Narrow_Passenger_707 My boyfriend cheated on me with our Dean

Hi, this is my first time posting on Reddit. I just need to vent some frustration.
I'm currently attending a well-respected university. Our department is pretty small, with only around 1,000 students across all four years. My boyfriend (we've been together since first year, during online classes) is 22, and I'm 20. Building on what I mentioned, my boyfriend and our Dean (34F & a single mom) are family friends, but their friendship seems to have blossomed during the return to in-person classes. She, along with many others, knows my boyfriend and I are together. It's pretty common knowledge—I'm involved in a lot of student organizations and consistently make the dean's list, so many professors and students recognize me.
During face to face classes, After our 2 PM classes, my boyfriend would usually take me home. Sometimes we'd grab a date, but other days he'd just crash at my place for a nap then uuwi siya (at least, that's what I thought). Napapansin ko, palagi silang magka chat and he doesn’t even call her ma’am or miss, first name basis sila. At first, I just brushed it off. I mean, come on, she's way out of his league, age-wise, and super respected pa. But, lagi niya inuutusan si BF—utos dito, utos doon. He practically lives in her office na running errands like chauffeuring her around in her car or his. I tried to be cool about it, but the jealousy's creeping in. TAKE NOTE: he won’t let me open his phone or hold his phone pero okay lang sakin kasi sobrang tiwala naman ako sakanya.
Gaano sila ka close? For example:
It was a school break, so we barely saw each other. But it was our monthsary, and we'd planned this date for ages. I was so hyped, all dressed up, and we were having a great time until...he slams on the brakes and says our dean needs a ride. Apparently, she got into a small accident, and no one else can drive her car? Seriously? My heart sank. He ditched our date to chauffeur her around, and I ended up back at home, alone, in my fancy dress.
December (NEW YEAR) at 12 am: he told me matutulog na siya kasi lasing na daw. Turns out, a friend of mine spotted him smooching some chick at a bar. Sinend sakin yung video the next morning pero diko makita yung face ni girl kasi naka lean siya sa neck ni bf. I confronted him about it pero sabi niya someone daw na kilala niya dati. (Grabe siya mang gaslight, grabe siya mag sinungaling). Even before the New Year's Eve incident, there were red flags I ignored, marami na nagsasabi sakin na he’s up to no good but I used to think trusting people meant shutting out outside opinions, especially when they painted him in a bad light. I wanted to believe the best in him, even if he looked like a walking "fboy stereotype." Blind trust turned into heartbreak. This whole situation has been a wake-up call. My self-worth is important, and I can't let anyone walk all over me. So yeah, we broke up.
But last week ko lang nalaman, Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, his best friend throws another grenade into the situation. He confessed that my boyfriend manipulated me from the very beginning, and there was more to their "friendship" than meets the eye. After nya pala ako ihatid samin, he would go back to school to be with our dean. The woman he cheated on me with last December? Our freaking Dean. And get this - turns out there was already something going on between them even before that. I feel so betrayed, like everything he ever told me was a lie. It's disgusting. I’ve heard pa nga na they’re officially together na ngayon and ayaw daw ni Dean na lumalapit sakin si boy, or sumama even with our friends (we’re classmates btw). Medyo all out na rin sila sa relationship nila. The Dean's behavior is actually frankly concerning. She shows up at every off-campus basketball game, sitting on the player's bench and cheering him on, completely disregarding the professional boundaries. It's no wonder rumors are flying around our department na.
But yah, With her being the Dean, it terrifies me that my grades or academic standing could be affected by all this personal drama. I don't care about their relationship, I just want to focus on my studies and not have this mess spill over into my academic life.
submitted by Narrow_Passenger_707 to adviceph [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:10 theninadaniel Confused whether my ex was a narcissist or i was doubting all along?

Confused, whether my ex was narcissist or I was doubting all along?
Hey, just wanted to come here and share my story. I am 20-year-old (F). Last year in July, I came across a guy (30M) on an app. We shared same ethnicity but he was living abroad for past decade. We matched, we clicked and I thought this was the man I had been looking for all my life. He seemed so sweet, fun to talk and charming. One thing that pulled me toward him was his respectful and polite attitude towards me (this was big for me since I am coming from a rough childhood), he used to call me 'Miss', respected my opinions, shared his own without making me feel uncomfortable and we were kind of cloning each other. Our beliefs and moral values seemed very similar.
We talked for about two weeks and it was a detailed discussion on life and how we view it. Later on, he told me he was looking for something serious and I, who is coming from traditional muslim culture, wanted nothing more than a serious relationship (marriage). So he sent a proposal my home, his family came and met my family (that is how it happens in our culture). My family was little hesitant because we did have some cultural differences but I wasn't too noisy about it. Long story short, we got engaged in the following September. He couldn't come so his mother fulfilled his duty that was to slip the ring on my finger. After the ceremony I video-called him, excited, and told him about the day and expressed how happy I am. I was expecting something, maybe a little spark in his eyes or something sweet to say but he wasn't reciprocating the enthusiasm. He only smiled and talked a few and that's it. Oftentimes I felt like he wasn't expressing enough but I never let my head go south. I always gave myself an explanation for his actions. Everything was going fine until he had to come to his home country for his father's surgery. During those times, I did my best to remain supportive, empathetic. I gave him space, stood beside him, cheered him up.
A few days before the surgery, he decided to meet me out of a blue and yes, this was first physical interaction. I was in uni when he told me and like every other girl, I wanted our first meeting to be special. For those who are unfamiliar of muslim traditions, it is not preferable to meet alone before nikkah (the marriage ceremony). So my family wanted someone with us and I wasn't much in favour of it. I knew my boundaries and just wanted to have some good time with him. Therefore, I asked him to reschedule so I can convince my family to allow us to meet in a public place. I was only 19 and considering my age, I didn't have much authority to take such decisions. He, on the other hand, got furious because I asked him to reschedule. I felt bad for breaking him as he said he was excited to meet me and he needed me the most in hard times like these. I felt guilty but the next day, we met. He came to my home to pick me up, had a chat with my family. My family (uncle and aunt since I'm living with them after my parents' divorce) allowed us to have dinner.
During the dinner date, I was nervous. My body felt shivers and I couldn't understand whether it was from excitement or anxiousness. He was driving quite rashly, I am also a driver so the reckless driving didn't scare me, i trusted him on this but I knew something about him was the reason behind my sweaty palms. I just couldn't spot it. We remained silent throughout the drive, I wanted to speak and I tried to initiate but he kept it short. Only music was filling the silence. We reached to a mall and I was observing whether he will open the door for me but to my surprise, he didn't. Instead he walked ahead of me. Watching him speeding off didn't leave a good feeling in my chest. He wanted a coffee so we went to get one. I didn't get anything for myself because all of a sudden I wasn't hungry anymore and also I forgot my wallet at home and my self respect didn't allow me to get anything. He ordered a burger for himself and shared some bites with me. I noticed he didn't pull out a chair for me nor did he let me step in and out of elevator first. Throughout the eating process, he remained silent and looked around. I felt awkward as I am lively person and this was the man I wanted to talk to the most. It was just an awkward silence that I wasn't expecting to be a part of our first date at all. He didn't feel like the man I was talking to on phone. That man was responsive, loving. This was just something else.
We went back to the car, again him leading and I following him in heels. Just when I was putting seatbelt on, he kissed me. It was my first kiss and he totally caught me off guard. Right after that he gave me a smug smile. He kissed me again and I was long lost to react on anything. It was a lot. I wanted to stop him but my feelings for him got a hold on me. I regretted that but I couldn't stop it. After dropping me home, he left a text "I had a great time with you". Whereas, I was convincing myself that I had a good time as well.
After that we didn't talk much about this dinner but a question remained in my mind, "how did he find me?" because to me, he was handsome and I was strongly attracted to him but I never got the clarity on how did I look to him, especially after spending time with him I got more curious. I offered him my support during the tough time and chose not to ask him the question. After his father's surgery, he kept forcing me to have lunches with him and i had without my family's knowing. After our every meet-up the question began eating my head a little more. Finally, after some days I decided to ask the question. To which he got mad. He blamed me for stressing him and accusing him of not liking me even though I just meant to ask him if he liked me. I needed reassurance but he got defensive and "warned" me that my fears and overthinking will ruin our relationship. That was the first stroke that hit my heart and I couldn't believe what happened with me. I felt horrible and cried myself to sleep The next day he acted completely normal and love-bombed me as if nothing happened. I remained silent to avoid conflict.
A few days later, he asked me to accompany him to his home that was in another city (his father's surgery took place in my city and they were in hospital). Now keeping the society where we both belong from, this was a big problem. I had to refuse him and over this he got furious again, blaming me for not wanting to spend time with him. I understood he lived his life in a western country but he knew his culture better than me, his family was far stricter in their customs than mine was and only if they had known that i visited their house before marriage alone with their son, it would have been a hell for me. It was wrong and I stayed with my decision. Later on, he asked me to meet him for the last time before he left. A day before the meeting, he started joking about having a fetish of having sex with a teenager. I kept brushing it as a joke until he directed it on me and when I asked him to wait for a year as we were to get married, he reasoned that I wouldn't be a teenager anymore and he could not wait that long. I confronted him about feeling manipulated and he got defensive. Long story short, he went back and after some times, he started noticing my silence. He asked me about it and I mustered courage and told him my worries. He listened to me quietly, didn't react like he normally did to my concerns but complained that I hurt him. For which I did feel bad as I never wanted to hurt him.
now the reason why I wrote this whole story was because he was a totally different man during the first third months of our conversation. He portrayed to be a knight in shining armour. His voice held so much meaning when he promised he would be the most understanding and patient person in my life. He felt like my saviour, my best friend and reason to live everyday. I suffered from parental neglect and absence and his promises healed me but when he acted contrary to his words, I used to get confused. I loved him, madly that even after five months of no contact I wake up to his thoughts. He has moved on and found someone else but I am back to my alone self, holding my broken pieces and working on my career. I felt like i was in a trauma bond but still again, sometimes I feel due to my past traumas, I lost a good man. He made me believe so with his love bombing. I got addicted to him as he was the only source of my happiness. but I knew it has to end because he disrespected my grandfather and mother because they saw the same signs in my father even though I didn't tell them enough. I didn't believe them until circumstances forced me to. Can you guys tell me what have you gotten from my story because I need to hear it from external sources.
submitted by theninadaniel to LifeAfterNarcissism [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 15:09 DrYangHF7 Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door cured my paralysis (瘫痪)

I am grateful to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva for offering me this precious opportunity to share my experience of practising Buddhism with you.
I am 62 years old. Today, I can eat, sleep and walk like a normal person. However, did you know that I once was a paralyzed woman who could not even get up from bed, had difficulty turning over, and could not take care of myself? Through practising Buddhism and reciting Buddhist scriptures, I have completely freed myself from the misery of hell. I want to tell you with hard facts that practising Buddhism and reciting the scriptures has not only given me a second life, but has also benefited me immensely. I want to share with you how I transformed myself from paralysis to health within four years without undergoing any surgery! May my presentation plant the seeds of bodhi in your hearts, so that more people will have faith in Guan Yin Bodhisattva who has boundless supernatural power, and recite Buddhist scriptures as soon as possible to be free from suffering and gain happiness!
1. When I was young, I opened two bars so I created bad karma, and karmic retribution is right on my heels!
I am the eldest daughter of my family and the eldest daughter-in-law of my in-laws family. Both my mother and mother-in-law are Buddhist practitioners and urged me to practise Buddhism as well. However, because of my youthful ambition and good fortune, at the age of about 36, I ran two bars and enjoyed the pleasure of earning money, not bothering to practise Buddhism at all. By then, I was young and foolish, in the bars I gained filthy money by means of woman’s charms, which invariably created a lot of bad karma. How many people lost their morals and conscience for my sake of monetary gain? How many families have been broken up behind the scenes? How many people have done many things against ethics and morality under the paralysis of alcohol? I hereby express my deepest repentance to Guan Yin Bodhisattva! Karmic retribution is inescapable. I planted the evil cause so I reap the evil effect. The bad karma I created within two years of running the bars has brought me a tragic retribution 13 years later! (So, dear fellow practitioners, please take this as a warning!)
In 2010, I was 49, my predestined 369 calamity arrived. One day in July, my karma exploded. I suddenly collapsed at home kitchen while stirring frying vegetables. In an instant, I felt that the sky was falling, and I had nowhere to turn for help. An otherwise healthy me entered a life of hell on earth from then on. Every day, I ate, drank, pooped and peed in bed, had difficulty turning over, couldn't wash my hands and face, had trouble swallowing, so it was worse than death. I was paralyzed in bed from then on. The doctor said I had a herniated disc in my lower back. All the bones in my back were misaligned. Both knee bones were necrotic and so swollen. I have visited all the local city and provincial hospitals, big and small, to seek medical care. I almost spent all the several hundreds of thousands of RMB I had gained from my bar business. However, the condition got worse and worse.
2. Since encountering the excellent Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door, I have been practicing Buddhism hard to overcome any obstacles on the way and finally achieved a new life.
Perhaps it was the blessing from my family members who had been making offerings to the Buddha and practising Buddhism for years. Thanks to the mercy of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, I finally encountered the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door in 2012 when I was in the most desperate situation in my life. The person next door to my bar heard that I was sick and came to see me. She brought me Buddhist scripture, recitation device, Buddhism in Plain Terms, counters and many other Dharma gems. She told me the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door was very efficacious, and asked me to try it. Although I could not move on bed, I listened all Master Lu's recordings like a thirst. I was pleasantly surprised to hear cases of patients who had been cured of cancer and serious illnesses by practising Buddhism and reciting the scriptures. The recordings of Master Lu's programs were like a bright beacon in the darkness, bringing me hope for life and giving me great encouragement. I felt I was awakened by a powerful energy, stirring up my strong desire to live. I told myself: I must survive; I must save myself! I started to practice Buddhism and recite scriptures as if I had grabbed a lifeline.
I am illiterate, so I had to lie in bed every day and learn to recite word by word with the recitation device. Due to the heavy karma, there was no virtuous and the high-minded practitioner around to teach me how to burn the Little Houses in a rational and lawful way. I foolishly took an ashtray instead of a plate to burn the Little Houses, which resulted in the ashtray blowing up. In order to eliminate karma quickly, I was foolishly reciting the Heart Sutra and Amitabha Pure Land Rebirth Mantra after ten o'clock at night, which resulted in the light bulbs breaking several times (Here, I sincerely remind my fellow practitioners: Master Lu enlightened us not to recite the Heart Sutra and Amitabha Pure Land Rebirth Mantra after ten o'clock at night. Please make sure to read the Introduction to Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door carefully in order to avoid practising Buddhism irrationally). Therefore, we must follow the instructions of Master Lu, and never do what the Master does not allow us to do. The whole process of reciting Buddhist scriptures to eliminate karma is very bumpy. It is really easy to create karma, but very hard to eliminate it! However, I firmly believed that the Bodhisattva is infinitely powerful. As long as I diligently practised Buddhism, my fate would definitely get changed. Hence, I relied on the blissful cases in Master Lu's recordings as my spiritual support. I kept persevering, not afraid of any difficulties, and recklessly recited Buddhist scriptures.
Since I ate, drank and pooped in bed, my aura was very bad. As I could not get up by myself, so I had to lie in bed to recite the sacred Buddhist scriptures. I felt guilty and torn, wondering if this was the appropriate way to recite the sacred Buddhist scriptures. Will it affect the effect of the recitation? Gratitude to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for Her compassion, and I dreamed of Master Lu that night. Master Lu who was dressed in a black suit smiled at me and kindly comforted me: “don't worry.” After I woke up, I was very grateful for Master Lu's compassion. Master Lu knew about my special situation, so this is a sympathy and a condolence to me. After I recited Buddhist scriptures 4 to 5 months late, my neck and head were able to turn significantly. Such a Dharma blissful change thrilled me. All the trials and perseverance I had gone through in the past had not been in vain. Guan Yin Bodhisattva has boundless supernatural power, which had given me a glimmer of hope for recovery! (Here, I sincerely remind my fellow practitioners: In the absence of illness, recitation of Buddhist scriptures must be respectful. A point of respect harvests a point of benefit.)
3. The unique characteristics of attending the Dharma conference and formally acknowledging Jun Hong Lu as my master allow my physical health to improve with Dharma joy
In February 2017, I befriended a fellow practitioner. She invited me to attend the Macau Dharma Convention together. I thought to myself: “can I take the bus by myself?” “Can I attend the conference?” With a strong faith from my inner heart, I attended the conference via keeping reciting the Great Compassion Mantra on the trip. Unbelievably, I arrived at the conference as I wished with the blessing and protection of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, although my bulky legs could only barely support my body in the seat. I was in tears when I listened Master Lu's wise words and saw the holy icon of Guan Yin Bodhisattva. On the night of the conference, I dreamed of Guan Yin Bodhisattva! Gratitude to Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva for saving me from suffering and giving me a new life. At the end of the Macau Dharma Convention, I instantly made two vows: to be a vegetarian for 15 days per month and liberate 10,000 fish.
Before I attended the Macau Dharma Convention, I had to take a break whenever I walked two steps, and my body was not able to move much. After returning, my legs started to become strong enough to support my body and I could walk on flat ground. Despite they were not very flexible, they were no longer the same as when I was paralyzed like a limp in bed. My whole body is getting better and better in essence, vital energy, and spirit. I was very surprised! Master Lu has enlightened that there are many Buddhas and Bodhisattvas coming to bless attendees at each Dharma conference!
In August 2017, before the Dharma Convention in Malaysia, my fellow practitioners urged me to formally acknowledge Jun Hong Lu as my master. Since I am an illiterate, compassionate fellow practitioners helped me to fill out the application form of seeking discipleship. My fellow practitioners told me that there were so many people wanted to formally acknowledge Jun Hong Lu as their master that I might not be able to reach my wish this time. Then, I had to wait for the opportunity next Dharma Convention. I told myself that whether I could reach my wish or not this time, I would actively participate in Master Lu’s Dharma Convention. Considering my age, it is a blessing for me to attend one more Dharma Convention. To my surprise, one week later, my application for seeking discipleship was approved. Gratitude to Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
On the day of seeking discipleship, I was very excited. During the process of seeking discipleship, I heard a voice in stereo that was very loud. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see Tathagata Buddha, and many other Bodhisattvas coming down from heaven. At that moment, I saw that the upper half of Master Lu's Dharmakaya appeared transparent with a huge lotus flower. I was suddenly moved to tears. I was oblivious to the fact that Master Lu had come to my side until the time of issuing the discipleship certificate. Master Lu was very compassionate and empowered me with blessing. Master Lu enlightened, "Because five people opened their eyes during the worship ceremony, they have no lotuses planted in the pure land. But it's okay, when the ceremony is over, you can go to the front and kowtow to ask the Bodhisattva (to plant a lotus)." I then rushed to the front to worship. Before I finished worshiping Bodhisattva, a young fellow practitioner came over. He asked, "How do you feel? Did you see anything?" I said, "I saw Tathagata Buddha." He asked, "How are you sure that was Tathagata Buddha?" I said, "Both my mother and mother-in-law are Buddhist disciples, and Tathagata Buddha has curly hair."
I was grateful for the compassionate blessing from Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu. When I returned home after seeking discipleship, I made two vows: to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life and never kill (animals). The power of a vow outweighs the force of karma. After I made the vows, Master Lu’s Dharmakaya came to help me heal my legs in my dreams. Once, I saw Master Lu’s Dharmakaya passing by my room while I was half-squinted. Master Lu asked me, "Which foot is uncomfortable? Where is aching?" Instantly I woke up and then I found that my feet didn't feel as heavy as they used to be and I walked more lightly. I excitedly shared the news with my old father, "Master Lu has come to bless me again!" I am grateful to Master Lu for his compassionate care for every sentient being. Every time I dreamed of Master Lu, he would always compassionately endow me with abundance of blessing, and I was always surprised by the improvement in my health.
In a short time, I could not only separate my feet and take turns to walk up and down the stairs independently. Moreover, I could bend back and forth freely with my arms crossed. The bones in my back, which were all misaligned and uneven, were now completely normal again. Previously, I couldn't raise my hands to wash my face, brush my teeth or comb my hair because the bones in my back would pull the nerves and cause severe pain when I raised my hands. In those days, whenever I sneezed or defecated, I felt like to cheat death on pain. In those hellish day I went through unimaginable pain and suffering. Now, however, I can take care of myself completely and move around freely. Sometimes I get a little tired after walking for too long, but I can recover after 10 minutes of rest in bed. Although it is still slightly bumpy while I was walking, if you don't look closely, you can't see it. My family was overwhelmed to see the dramatic change from being paralyzed and bedridden to walking independently since I practised Buddhism. My old father, who was taking care of me at the bedside, complimented me straight away: you have completely changed, becoming healthier and healthier now! I was so excited that I had tears in my eyes. Without the rescue of Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu, I really wouldn't have the blissful transformation I have today!
In 2019, at the Dharma conferences of Indonesia and Singapore, I pleaded with my fellow practitioners to be merciful to give me the opportunity to volunteer. According to the rules of the Dharma conference, I was already overage. However, I was adamant that I must do volunteer work. Guan Yin Bodhisattva has given me a second life, so I have to serve all sentient beings physically. I am grateful for Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva who helped me out. When I came back from the conferences, I found that I could bend and squat easily and freely, and I had no problem even sitting on the floor. I am grateful to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for compassionately helping me to eliminate my karma at every conference, so that I can obtain incredible blessings and improvement occur every time.
4. The incredible blessing of setting up the Buddhist altar accelerated my health recovery and created a medical miracle.
From the time I set up the Buddhist altar in 2017, I insisted on offering Bodhisattvas incenses morning and evening every day. At first, the body was still straight and could not bend and bow. For two years, in front of the Buddhist altar, I prayed for Bodhisattvas to bless me so that I could recover my health a little better so I can use my own experience as an example to convince sentient beings to gain faith on Dharma and practise Dharma. Gradually, I was able to stand to offer incense to Bodhisattvas, to bend and bow, and finally to kneel in front of the Buddhist altar to recite the scriptures. I was full of Dharma joy! Initially, my back still hurt from kneeling. With the karmic obstacles being removed, my back didn't hurt anymore. Sometimes when I went out with fellow practitioners to set up the Buddhist altar, particularly on the Buddha's Birthday, I could kneel to recite the Eighty-eight Buddhas Great Repentance for an hour and a half. My fellow practitioners couldn't keep it up, so I was the only one who kept it up until the end. I am so grateful to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for Her compassionate blessing!
At one time, the doctor at the provincial hospital told me that I had to have surgery to put two steel plates into the bone, but I refused. Because I firmly believe that with the of blessings of Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu, I am afraid of nothing. Buddha is an extraordinary doctor. The only way to recover completely is to repent sincerely and practise Buddhism. I can now move as freely as a normal person. This medical miracle achieved was completely relied on practising Buddhism, reciting scriptures, being a vegetarian, helping new practitioners to set up Buddhist altars, volunteering at Dharma conferences, and actively propagating the Dharma. To improve my family economic financial, I went out to work on construction sites as a helper, do cleaning and housekeeping!
Those patients who were once slightly paralyzed did not recover as quickly and well as I did, even with surgery.
Dear readers, when you see such a dramatic change in me, what are you hesitating for? Hurry up and pick up the Buddhist scriptures to recite! I am the living example, the ironclad evidence. Guan Yin Bodhisattva does exist, and She is Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate, answers any prayers.
Thinking of the bad karma I created in the two bars when I was young, I feel grievously sinful. I have earned ill-gotten wealth, but the karma was produced, and karmic retribution is inescapable. If one hasn't been retributed, the time hasn't come yet. After I got old, all the retribution came to me. Not only did I use up all my money, but I also had to suffer from physical illness and paralysis. I advise everyone to remember Master Lu's enlightenment: Do not do anything that is evil; Do not fail to do good no matter how petty the deed; Do not engage in evil no matter how trivial the deed. Dear readers, please consider it carefully before earning any money, and don’t commit such deep sins as I did for the sake of monetary gain, or else the consequences will follow you!
Without the merciful salvation and blessings of Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu, I would not have been reborn today! I made a few great wows: honour the teacher and respect his teachings, live an ascetic life for lifetime, be a vegetarian lifetime, not kill, not eat eggs, not smoke, not drink; transcend the cycle of rebirth for good and attain enlightenment in one lifetime. In this life, I will follow Guan Yin Bodhisattva to cultivate my mind and change my behaviour and never quit. I will follow my benefactor, the Compassionate father, Master Lu, to propagate Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and never stop! Although I am over 60 years, I will continue using my own experience as an example to convince sentient beings to gain faith on Dharma and practise Buddhism. Together with my fellow practitioners, I will get up early and go home late to help set up Buddha altars for new practitioners. No matter how far and how difficult the trip is, I will always be strict with myself. I will go wherever I am needed. Even if I am eating, as soon as I receive a mission for propagating Dharma, I will put down my chopsticks and set off without delay.
Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door is peerlessly efficacious, and Guan Yin Bodhisattva is Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate, saves beings from suffering, has supernatural power, and answer all prayers. As long as we have a devout heart and we persist in reciting Buddhist scriptures and practicing Buddhism, no difficulty can defeat us! My physical changes are the most powerful evidence! May my true presentation give some inspiration to those people who are still suffering from illnesses, so that they can acquire faith to practising Buddhism, and pick up the Buddhist scriptures to recite. May more sentient beings having affinity with Buddha break free from delusion and attain enlightenment, balance egoism and altruism, and free from suffering and gain happiness.
My deepest gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
My deepest gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
My deepest gratitude to the Dharma protectors!
My deepest gratitude to the selfless and altruistic Master Jun Hong Lu!
If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the truth in the presentation, I’d like to seek forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors, and Master Jun Hong Lu.
I’d also like to seek forgiveness from my fellow Buddhist practitioners.
I, not my fellow practitioners, will be responsible for my own karma!
Shared by: Dharma Practitioner Ganen, Gratitude and Namaste!
Translated by: Frank
Statement by Translator
  1. Story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I’d like to seek forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
  2. Author Ganen was interviewed by Frank during the translation for the detailed information.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下:
从瘫痪卧床到行走自如做家政,心灵法门创造了医学奇迹
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨!
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨!
感恩龙天护法金刚菩萨!
感恩恩师慈父卢军宏台长!
感恩师兄们!
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨慈悲,让我能有这个宝贵的机会与大家分享我的学佛经历。我今年62岁,现在是一个能吃、能睡、能走路的正常人了。但是,你们可曾知道,曾经,我是一个连床都起不了、翻身都困难,生活完全无法自理的瘫痪老人!如今,通过学佛念经,我把自己从地狱的苦海里完全挣脱了出来。我要用铁一般的事实告诉大家:学佛念经不仅给了我第二次生命,更让我受益无穷。我要跟大家分享,在这患病的四年里,在没有经历任何手术的情况下,如何让自己从瘫痪到健康的蜕变!愿我今天的分享给有缘人种下菩提种子,让更多的人相信观世音菩萨法力无边,早日学佛念经,离苦得乐!
1. 年轻时开酒吧造恶业,得现世报!
我是家中的长女、婆家的长媳。母亲和婆婆都是学佛人,都劝我也学佛。但是,由于年轻时好胜心强,加之财运不错,36岁左右,我经营两家酒吧,享受挣钱的快乐,根本无心学佛。年轻愚痴的我经营酒吧时靠女色来赚取黑钱,赚的都是不正之财,无形中造了很多恶业。在这种灯红酒绿中生活,我为了金钱利益,让多少人丧失了自己的道德与良知?背后又造成多少个家庭的破裂?又有多少人在酒精的麻痹下做出多少违背伦理道德的事情?弟子在此向观世音菩萨深深忏悔!因果报应丝毫不爽,种恶因得恶果。开酒吧这两年中我所造下的恶业,在十几年后让我得到悲惨的现世报!所以,请大家引以为戒!
2010年我49岁,正逢“三六九”关劫。7月的一天,我的业障大爆发,在家炒菜时突然间倒下。瞬间,我感觉天塌下来,叫天天不应,叫地地不灵。一个原本健康的我从此进入人间地狱般的生活。每天,我吃喝拉撒都在床上,翻身都很困难,没法自己洗手洗脸,吞咽困难,简直生不如死。我从此瘫痪在床。医生说我是腰椎间盘突出。后背的所有骨头都错位。两个膝盖骨头坏死,肿得很大。当地市里、省里大大小小的医院我都看过了。我几乎把我做酒吧生意所赚到的几十万块钱都花光了。然而,病情越来越严重。
2. 得遇殊胜法门,坎坷学佛路中坚持不懈地修行换来重生
也许是家人一直供佛学佛的福德。承蒙观世音菩萨慈悲,在我人生绝境之时,我终于在2012年得遇心灵法门。以前我开店隔壁的人听说我病倒了,就来看我。她给我送来了经书、念佛机、《白话佛法》、计数器等很多法宝。她告诉我心灵法门很灵验,让我试试。我躺在床上虽然无法动弹,却如饥似渴地把师父的录音听了个遍。听到人们通过学佛念经把癌症、重症都治愈的案例,我惊喜万分。师父的节目录音就像黑暗中的一盏明灯,让我看到了生活的希望,给了我很大的鼓舞。在这个过程中我像被一股强大的能量加持唤醒,激起了求生的强烈欲望。我告诉自己:我一定要活过来;我一定要自己救自己!我像抓住了救命稻草似地开始拼命学佛念经。
我不识字,只能每天躺在床上跟着念佛机一字一句地学着念。由于业力牵引,身边没有遇到善知识教我如理如法地烧送小房子。愚痴的我曾拿个烟灰缸代替盘子烧送经文组合小房子,结果烟灰缸炸掉了。为了抓紧时间消业,我晚上十点后还在念《心经》和《往生咒》,结果家里的灯坏了好几次(趁此机会我诚心提醒师兄们:师父开示,晚上十点后不要念诵《心经》和《往生咒》,请师兄们一定要好好看《心灵法门入门手册》,避免操作不如理不如法)。所以,我们一定要听师父的话,师父不让做的就不做。念经消业的整个过程非常坎坷。真是造业容易,消业难啊!但是,我坚信菩萨法力无边,只要精进努力,一定会得到改变的。于是,我依靠师父录音中的法喜案例作为精神支撑。我一直坚持不懈,不怕万难,拼命念经。
由于吃喝拉撒都在床上,气场非常不好,自己又无法起身,只能躺在床上念经。我内心愧疚又纠结,不知道这样念经是否如理如法?会不会影响念经效果?感恩菩萨慈悲,当晚我就梦见师父了。师父身穿着黑西装,一边慈祥地笑着一边安慰我:不要担心。醒来后,我非常感恩师父的慈悲。师父知道我的特殊情况,这是对我的宽容和安慰啊。后来,大概念经差不多4~5个月后,我的脖子和头也能明显地转动了。这样法喜的变化,让我激动万分。我过去所经历的磨难与坚持都没有白费。观世音菩萨法力无边,让我看到了康复的一丝希望!(作者提醒:师兄们,在没有病痛的情况下,念经一定要体态恭敬,一分恭敬一分受益。)
3. 参加法会与拜师的殊胜,让我的身体不断法喜蜕变
2017年2月份,我结识了一位师兄。她邀请我一起去参加澳门法会。我心想:我能自己坐车吗?能去法会吗?凭着内心坚定的信念,路途中我一直念《大悲咒》。虽然我笨重的双腿只能勉强支撑着身体坐在座位上,但在观世音菩萨一路加持护佑下,我竟然能够如愿到了法会现场。现场听到师父开示、看到观世音菩萨的圣像,我泪如雨下。大法会当天晚上,我就梦到了观世音菩萨!感恩大慈大悲救苦救难观世音菩萨救我于苦海,给了我新的生命和生活。澳门法会结束,我当即发愿:一个月吃素15天,放生一万条鱼。参加澳门法会前,只要走两步路我就要歇一歇,而且我的身体没办法大幅度活动。
澳门法会回来后,我的双腿开始变得有力,可以支撑起身子在平地上走路了。虽然还不是很灵活,但是比起原来像软泥一样瘫痪在床的状态,已经不可同年而语了。我整个人精、气、神也越来越好。我非常惊喜!师父开示过,每场法会有很多佛菩萨来加持大家!
2017年8月,马来西亚法会前,师兄们让我拜师,但我不识字。慈悲的师兄们帮助我代笔填写拜师申请表。师兄们告诉我,这次拜师的人太多,有可能排不上队,得等到下一场法会才有机会。我告诉自己,无论这次能不能拜师,我都一定积极参加师父的法会。我这么大年纪了,能参加多一场法会都是我的福报啊。让我惊喜的是,一个星期后,我的拜师申请通过了。感恩观世音菩萨慈悲!
拜师当天,我激动万分。在拜师过程中,我听到一个非常立体、非常响亮的声音。我睁开眼睛时,我竟然看到了如来佛祖,还有好多菩萨都从天上下来了。这时,我看到师父上半身的法身呈现透明状,有一朵大大的莲花。我顿时感动得泪如雨下。直到颁发弟子证的时候,我浑然不觉师父已经走到我的身边。师父非常慈悲,给我灌顶加持。师父说:“因为拜师过程中有5个人睁开了眼睛,所以莲花没有种上去。不过没关系,等拜师仪式结束后,可以到前面去磕头求菩萨。”我就赶紧跑到前面去拜。我还没拜完,就过来了一个年轻师兄。他问我:“您感觉怎么样?有没有看到什么?” 我告诉他:“我看到如来佛祖了。” 他说:“您怎么确定那是如来佛祖呢?”我说:”我家母和家婆是学佛人,如来佛祖头发卷卷的。”
感恩观世音菩萨与师父的慈悲加持。拜师结束回家我就发愿: 终生吃全素,不杀生。真是愿力大于业力,发愿后,师父又来梦里帮我治疗双腿。有一次,我半眯着眼睛看到师父从我的房间经过。师父问我:“还有哪只脚不舒服?还有哪个地方疼痛的?” 瞬间我就醒了,醒来我发现我的双脚没有了原来的沉重感,走起路来更加轻盈了。我激动地跟老父亲分享:“师父又来加持我啦!”感恩师父慈悲关怀着每一位众生。每次梦见师父,师父都慈悲给予加持,我的身体总会有惊喜的好转。
没过多久,我不仅可以分开双脚,轮流迈开步伐独立上下楼梯。而且,我双手叉腰,可以前后自如地弯腰。后背的骨头原本因为全部错位并高低不平,如今完全恢复正常了。原本我没办法把手举起来洗脸、刷牙和梳头,因为手一抬,后背的骨头扯神经会导致剧烈的疼痛。每次打喷嚏或排泄的时候,都有种痛不欲生的感觉,就像死里逃生一样。这种地狱般的日子让我历经常人难以想象的苦痛折磨。然而现在,我的生活可以完全自理并且行动自如。有时候走太久会有一点点累,但是卧床休息十几分钟就可以恢复过来。虽然走路还有一点点高低现象,但如果不仔细看,是看不出来的。看到我学佛念经以来,从瘫痪卧床到独立行走的巨大变化,我的家人无比震惊。当年在床头边照顾我的老父亲直夸我:现在整个人完全变了,变得越来越健康了!我激动得泪眼婆娑。没有观世音菩萨与师父的大慈大悲救苦救难,真的不会有我今天的法喜蜕变!
2019年印尼法会和新加坡法会上,我恳请师兄们慈悲给我做义工的机会。按照法会规定,我已经超龄了。但是,我坚决一定要做义工。观世音菩萨给了我第二次生命,我就要身体力行地为众生服务。感恩观世音菩萨的慈悲,让我能如愿以偿。从法会做完义工回来,我发现我可以轻松自如地弯腰和下蹲,就连坐在地板上也没有问题了。感恩菩萨每次法会上都慈悲帮我消业,让我每次都能有不可思议的加持,变化。
4. 设佛台的不可思议加持,加速我身体恢复健康,创造医学奇迹
从2017年设佛台起,我每天坚持上早晚香。起初,身体还是直直的,不能弯腰鞠躬。两年里,我每天在佛台前上香求菩萨加持,让我身体能恢复得更好一些,能为众生表法。慢慢地,我从站着上香到弯腰鞠躬,到最后可以跪在佛台前念经。真是法喜充满啊!刚开始跪着后背还是很痛。随着业障的消除,我的后背也不疼痛了。有时候和师兄们出去设佛台,遇到佛诞日,我跪着念诵《礼佛大忏悔文》足足有一个半小时的时间。许多师兄都坚持不下来,唯独我坚持到结束。真是感恩菩萨慈悲加持!
曾经,省医院的医生告诉我,必须做手术把两块钢板放进骨头里,但我回绝了。因为我坚信有观世音菩萨和师父两座靠山,我什么都不怕。在因果面前,佛是大药王。唯有诚心忏悔,学佛修行才能彻底康复。我完全靠学佛念经吃素、设佛台、参加法会做义工,积极弘法度人,才创造了医学奇迹:现在和正常人一样行动自如。我甚至去工地做小工,搞卫生、做家政弥补家用!那些曾经轻微瘫痪的患者就算做手术,也没有我恢复得快,恢复到如此好的状态。
读者朋友们,你们看到我如此天翻地覆的变化,还犹豫什么呢?赶快捧起经书念经吧!我就是活生生的例子,铁一般的证据。观世音菩萨真实存在,并且大慈大悲有求必应啊!
现在回想起年轻时开酒吧所造下的恶业,真是罪孽深重。不正之财赚到了,可是,因果报应丝毫不爽,不是不报,时候未到。在我人到老年时,所有的报应一涌而来。不但钱财全部用尽,还要遭受肉体病痛的瘫痪之苦,因果不空啊!奉劝大家一定要谨记师父的教诲:诸恶莫作,众善奉行!不以善小而不为;不以恶小而为之!挣任何钱财之前都要三思,切记不可为了金钱利益而像我一样造下如此深重的罪孽,否则果报如影随形!
没有观世音菩萨和师父的慈悲救度与加持,就没有我今天的重生!弟子许愿尊师重道、一生清修、终生吃全素、不杀生、不吃鸡蛋、不抽烟、不喝酒;一世修成,永断轮回。今生跟着观世音菩萨修心修行,永不退转。跟着恩师慈父卢军宏台长弘扬心灵法门永不停息!我虽然60多岁了,但是我要身体力行地为大家表法,起早贪黑地和共修组师兄们一起去助缘设佛台。无论路程多么遥远,多么艰辛,我都严格要求自己。哪里需要我,我就走到哪里。哪怕我在吃饭,只要接到弘法任务,我一定当即放下筷子,一刻也不能耽误地出发。
心灵法门灵验无比,观世音菩萨大慈大悲,救苦救难,法力无边,有求必应。只要我们有一颗虔诚的心,只要我们坚持念经修行,没有什么困难可以打倒我们!我的身体变化就是最有力的证据!愿我的真实分享给那些还在受着病痛折磨的人们一些启发,让大家生起学佛念经的信念,捧起经书念经,愿更多的有缘众生能够早日破迷开悟,自利利他,离苦得乐!
我的分享结束了,分享中如有不如理不如法的地方,请观世音菩萨慈悲原谅!请十方三世一切诸佛菩萨和龙天护法菩萨慈悲原谅!请师父慈悲原谅!请师兄们批评指正!我自己的业障自己背,不让师兄们背!感恩合十!
分享人:感恩~全素
2022-02-28
请将本文慈悲转发给瘫痪病人及其家属
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The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
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2024.05.19 15:01 ibid-11962 Writing and Publishing Eragon [Post Murtagh Christopher Paolini Q&A Wrap Up #6]

As discussed in the first post, this is my ongoing compilation of the remaining questions Christopher has answered online between August 1st 2023 and April 30th 2024 which I've not already covered in other compilations.
As always, questions are sorted by topic, and each Q&A is annotated with a bracketed source number. Links to every source used and to the other parts of this compilation will be provided in a comment below.
The previous post focused on details about the writing of Murtagh. This installment will focus on The Writing and Publication of Eragon, including the early abandoned starts and drafts the preceded the self-published version and Christopher's journey towards getting traditionally published. In this post the topics are arranged in almost a chronological order. The next post will focus on the writing of the Fractalverse, and so will be posted on /Fractalverse.

Writing and Publishing Eragon

The Original Idea
[When I start to write a new book] I have an image. There’s always a strong emotional component to the image, and it’s that emotion that I want to convey to readers. Everything I do after that, all of the worldbuilding, plotting, characterization, writing, and editing—all of it—is done with the goal of evoking the desired reaction from readers. In the case of the Inheritance Cycle, the image was that of a young man finding a dragon egg (and later having the dragon as a friend). [10]
Who's your favorite character to write? Well, for me, it's the dragon Saphira. She's the reason I got into writing a dragon. She came first? She came before Eragon? Like she was the catalyst? The relationship came first, her and Eragon. [33]
I was specifically inspired by a YA book called Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher by Bruce Coville, which is a delightful book. I just loved that idea so much of finding a dragon egg, I was like, "Well, what sort of a world would a dragon come from?" And I knew I wanted the sort of bond between rider and dragon that Anne McCaffrey had, but I wanted the intelligence of the dragons that you find elsewhere, and the language and the magic. And I wanted sparkly scales because it just seemed like dragons are fabulous creatures and they ought to have sparkly scales. That's the fun thing about writing your own books. You can make them exactly the way you want to make them, and hopefully then that appeals to the audience as well. [30]
All of that kind of was swirling around in my head, and I wanted to write about dragons in a way that kind of combined a lot of elements in a way that, "I like this", and "I like this piece", and "I like this piece", but I kind of wanted to have all these different pieces in one type of dragon, and no one had quite done it exactly the way I wanted. [30]
I live in Montana, and our library is an old Carnegie or Rockefeller library, and especially back in the 90s, it didn't have that many books. So once I read all the fantasy in the library, I thought I had read all the fantasy there was to read. Because I was not the smartest kid in the world sometimes. And I kind of thought, "Well, it's the library. They have all the books that exist, right? All the books that matter are in the library." And I really had no idea what to read after that. So I decided to start writing myself and to try and write the sort of story that I would enjoy reading. And of course, what I enjoyed reading was books about flying on dragons and fighting monsters and having adventures. [35]
Reading and literature was always important in our family. My father's mother was a professor of comparative literature and wrote books on Dante and all sorts of stuff like that. Was the myths and folklore part of your life at this time? Yes, but I should clarify that it wasn't formally introduced to me. It was in the house. People weren't wandering around talking about. It was just like the Aeneid is sitting on the shelf. I would go read things. I have a great uncle. He's 90 now, my mother's uncle. Guy is still sharp as a tack. It's amazing. But he gave me a set of cassette tapes of Joseph Campbell, who did Hero of a Thousand Faces. So that was my exposure to his theories of the monomyth and the eternal hero and all sorts of things like that. That got me very much interested in and thinking about the origins of the fantasy that I was reading because I was reading Tolkien and David Eddings and Anne McCaffrey and Raymond Feist and Jane Yolan and Andre Norton and Brian Jaques, and all of these you know authors who were popular at the time. I was very curious where does this come from. Tolkien, of course, felt like sort of the origin in a lot of cases but then I was discovering that, there are earlier stories that even Tolkien was drawing from. That was really a revelation to me. I really sort of got enamored with it. A lot of fantasy is nostalgic and that appealed to me because I was homeschooled and my family didn't really have a lot of relatives in the area, so I felt very unmoored from the rest of society. I think I was looking for a sense of tradition or continuity with the past and fantasy helped provide that. That's an incredibly articulate thought for a 15-year-old author. Or has that come with age? No, it was something I was feeling at the time. You were conscious of it at the time? Well, listening to the Joseph Campbell stuff, I was looking: Where are our coming of age traditions? Where is the great quest to go on to prove yourself as a young adult, as a man? Where's the great adventure? What do I do in life? Those are all things that are part of the adolescent experience and always have been which is why so many mythic stories about coming of age deal with those questions. I think it's a universal thing. That's why Harry Potter, Eragon, Twilight, all of these have appealed so much because they deal with adolescence. They deal with finding your place in the world as an adult when you're starting as a young adult or a child. [28]
What games have taught you to be a better writer either in creating characters or worldbuilding or plotting even? All of my gaming experience was computer games, video games. One that had a huge influence on me was the old Myst series. Personally I love solving puzzles, so that's the first thing. And also the concept of the series, especially with the second game, Riven, it's all based around people writing books that create new worlds. And you get to go in them and solve puzzles and understand how that world works. And that just tickled every single part of my brain back in the day. Now, I'm going to be slightly unkind here, and I apologize if the author [David Wingrove] is listening to this, but there were a couple of novels based off of Myst. And I was such a fan of the series that I got the books, and I started reading them. And my first thought was, "I could do better than this." And so I decided to rewrite the first Myst novel. And I created a document in MS Word, and I got exactly three sentences into my rewrite. And I thought to myself, "okay, I think I can do this, but I could never sell it. So I better go write something of my own." And the next thing I did was Eragon. So video games kind of had a direct influence on me writing. But actually reading something that I felt was not particularly successful was such an inspiration. Because it was like, "this got published, I know I can at least get to this level." And it was published. And then maybe I can shoot for a little bit higher. [pause] I think some people have had that experience with Eragon. [26]

Early Abandoned Starts

I had the original idea, the concept of boy finding dragon egg, and I tried writing a couple of very short versions of Eragon when I was fourteen, and none of them panned out so I stopped writing for a while. [28]
Real World Version
What do you remember about the early days of writing “Eragon?” Originally, Eragon was named Kevin and the story was set in the real world. But I only finished around 10 pages. [16]
I wrote three versions of Eragon before I wrote the version that had the unicorn, which was the first major draft. The first version was set in the real world, and that's why he's named Kevin. And the reason it was set in the real world is I was inspired by Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher, which is set in the real world. [32]
I was specifically inspired by a book called Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher by Bruce Coville. By the way, Bruce knows this. If you haven't read it, it's a great book about this young man in the real world who, spoiler, goes into an antique shop and buys a stone that ends up turning out to be a dragon egg. And I really loved that idea of a stone that was actually a dragon egg and the young man becoming joined with the dragon. And so I tried writing the story. And I got exactly five pages or six pages into it and I ran into a brick wall, because a boy finding a dragon egg is a good event, but it is not a good story. And I needed to figure out what was going to happen after that. I didn't know that at first. [36]
Arya Opening Fantasy Version
But then I was going down the rabbit hole of, "Well, if there's a dragon, where did the dragon come from? What if it were an actual fantasy world where the dragons were native?" And then that led me to then write a second beginning--I didn't get very far with this--that was more of a traditional fantasy story, and it opened with Arya and a couple other elves escaping a dungeon with a big battle, and at the very end of the battle, they send the dragon egg away, and Kevin finds it. But I didn't have the rest of the story, so I stopped writing it in that format. [32]
So I tried writing a second version of the story. So the first version of that story I wrote was set in the real world. Second version was more of like a fantasy world. [36]
I had the original idea when I was fourteen. I even wrote an early version of the story where it was set in the real world. But I soon realized that it was a lot more interesting to have a dragon in a fantastical setting. [8]
Research Break
I tried writing before and I always failed because I would only get like four to six pages into a story and then I didn't know what to do next. And that was because I didn't actually have my story. All I really had were the inciting incidents, like a boy finds a dragon egg in the middle of a forest. Great. But that's not a story, that's just one event. What happens as a result? So before starting Eragon, I was very methodical about this. I read a whole bunch of books on how to write, how to plot stories. [35]
I realized I wasn't getting anywhere. And I didn't know how to do what I was trying to do. Now, fortunately for me, my parents had noticed that I was getting interested in writing. And all of a sudden, books appeared in the house. There was no comment, no one forced it, these just magically appeared, and I read them. Some of the books that were incredibly helpful to me were these books that were called The Writer's Handbook, which was a collection of essays published each year by The Writer's Digest magazine. I had one from 1998, and I had one from, I think, 1993, or something like that. And there were essays from Stephen King and John Grisham and I think Ursula Le Guin and all sorts of other authors about what it was like to be an author both professionally and creatively. And that was incredibly helpful to me because again, the internet was not a resource. But the book that really made the difference for me was a book called Story by Robert McKee. It's a book for screenwriters and it's all about the structure of story. And up until that moment, I had never really consciously thought about the fact that stories have structure and that you can control that structure for the effect on the readers. So I devoured that book and I said, okay, I'm going to try this again. [36]
Did you very much sit down and study structure and character development and etc? I did. It wasn't a formal course or anything, it's just that my parents started buying these books and they started showing up. In fact, I still have them here on my shelf. This bookcase to my right is full of research books, technical books, language books. I read a book called Story by Robert McKee, which is a screenwriting book, that was and often has been very popular in Hollywood. It's a fairly technical look at story structure. I would never say do everything he says because of course you shouldn't necessarily follow any one formula, but that book really got me thinking about the fact that stories do have structure, which I hadn't really thought about before that. And that one can control that structure, and that this gives you something to work with. Before Eragon, I tried writing a number of stories and I never got past the first four to six pages, ten pages, because I never had the plot. All I would ever have was the inciting incident which, in the case of Eragon, is a young man finds a dragon egg. Ok, fine, but that's not a story. So when I read that book, then I was like wow, so I can control the structure of this. [28]
The problem with all of my early writing was that I’d get an idea and just start — I didn’t actually have a plot. But I was a pretty methodical kid, so I started reading about how to write. Fortunately, my parents are observant, and these kinds of books magically began appearing in the house. And I read all of them. [16]
Unused Arya Outline
So at this point, I was 15, that's when I graduated from high school and I was very methodical about it because I hate failing. So I said, okay, I'm going to create a fantasy world. And I did that. And then I said, I'm gonna plot out an entire book in this fantasy world. And I did that too. And then I said, but I'm not gonna write this. This is just a thought exercise. I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna stick it in a drawer. And I still have that to this day, that world and that story, I still have it sitting in a drawer somewhere. [36]
Then I spent some time and I created an entire fantasy world and I plotted out an entire fantasy novel in that world and I did not write it. I just stuck it in a drawer and that's where it's been sitting for 25 years now. And then I just did that to prove to myself that I could plot out an entire book. [35]
Before writing Eragon, again I was very methodical even as a teenager, I created an entire fantasy world. Wrote pages and pages about the worldbuilding, and then I plotted out an entire story in that world just to prove to myself that I could plot a story, create a world, and then I didn't write it. I put it aside. I still have it all saved. Put it in a drawer. [28]

Kevin

Writing The First Full Draft
And then I decided okay now I'm going to plot out a trilogy, because all great fantasy stories are trilogies. I'm going to do it as the heroic monomyth, because that is, at least my understanding back then, is this is one of the oldest forms of stories. I know it works on a general sense. It's going to give me a safety net, and then I'm going to write the first book as a practice book just to see if I'm capable of producing something that's three, four, five hundred pages long. And that's what I did. That was about two and a half months of worldbuilding, plotting, creating this. Then I wrote the first book and that was Eragon. That was my practice book. I never actually planned on publishing Eragon. It was only after I'd put so much work into it and my parents read it that then we proceeded with it. I was aware of story structure. I continue to read lots of books on it. [28]
And then version three is the version that everyone generally knows. And that's where I spent the time to plot out the whole series before writing, because having a idea of where you're going seems to help with the writing, at least for me. Usually. [32]
I originally saw Eragon as a practice novel, which is part of why it’s a very typical hero’s story. I knew that structure worked and it gave me the safety net I needed. [16]
The first draft went super fast. It went really fast because I had no idea what I was doing. And I just wrote that sucker. I wrote the first 60 pages by hand with ballpoint pen, cause I didn't know how to type on a computer. And then by the time I typed all that into the computer, I knew how to type. I did the rest in the computer. But this was back in the day when computers were fairly new. We had a Mac classic, which only had two megabytes of RAM. And the problem is that the operating system chewed up some of that memory. And my book file was around two megabytes large. So I actually had to split the book into two because I couldn't open the whole file on the computer or the computer would crash. So I had to open half the book and then close that and then open the other half. [35]
The First Draft
Once I finished the first draft, I was super excited and I thought, "well all of these things on how to write say that you should read your own book and see if there's any tweaks you wanna make." But I was really excited because I was getting to read my own book for the first time, and I thought this is gonna be awesome. And it didn't take very long while reading it to realize that it was awful. It was horrible. And just to give you an idea of just how bad that first draft was, in the very first draft of Eragon, Eragon wasn't named Eragon, Eragon was named Kevin. And there was also a unicorn in that first draft at one point, so you know it wasn't very good. [35]
If I heard correctly as I was reading, Eragon wasn't originally called Eragon? No, in the first draft of the book he was called Kevin. There's a reason! Look I have an explanation for it, okay. The explanation is that my original inspiration was Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher which is set in the real world. The original version of Eragon that I was developing was set in the real world and when I decided that it would make more sense to have a world where the dragons were native to and switched it over to this fantasy world and began to develop that, I just kept the name that I'd been working with, which was Kevin. Naming a main character is hard, especially when you get used to a certain name. I don't want to say I was lazy. I want to focus on the world building and writing the first draft and I'll worry about the name later. [28]
There is an early version of Eragon that no one's seen, that even my editor at Random House never saw. And that was my first draft. And in that first draft, Eragon encountered a unicorn in the Beor Mountains on the way to the Varden. And the unicorn touches him and essentially affects the transformation that he goes under during the blood oath ceremony with the elves in the second book, in Eldest. And his whole storyline with the Varden once he gets to Farthen Dûr is completely different because now he has these abilities and he and a team of people ends up getting sent on a scouting mission in the dwarven tunnels to go find the Urgal army and then they have to flee back through the tunnels to warn everyone of this huge army and I had a underground cave full of lava, and multiple shades, and a huge Urgal army. There was there was a lot of dramatic stuff. Finding the Ra'zac in Dras-Leona was completely different. This is the draft where Eragon was named Kevin. [32]
I haven't thought about that version in ages. I think Arya was awake all the way from Gil'ead to Farthen Dûr in that version. That's right, I had to completely rewrite that. It's an unpleasant ride for her. No, no, no, she was awake and healed. She was awake. That's right, God, I had to rewrite most of the last chunk of the book now that I think back, it's been a long time. [32]
The worst thing is, I think Kevin would actually take a larger budget [to adapt to film]. No, stop. Why would Kevin take a larger budget? Because the battles were bigger, there was more stuff going on. Seriously, there were more creatures, more travel. Yeah, I think Kevin would actually take more money than Eragon. [32]
You said that Eragon's name was originally Kevin. Was Eragon's name originally Kevin? It was. And I really regret I didn't stick with it because I think that as many books as I've sold, the series would have been at least twice as successful if it had been about the adventures of the great dragon writer Kevin. Especially just seeing Kevin on the front cover. Imagine the appeal to the modern youth. Kevin the dragon writer. I mean Eragon, it's confusing with Aragorn. Oregano. Oregon. But Kevin, Kevin stands out, Kevin's original. That's why I had to move away from it. [31]
Releasing the Kevin Cut
So do you wanna share some of those drafts with us, Christopher? Just kidding. Well, I actually had a fan reach out to me. He's one of the big members of the online fan community on Reddit and elsewhere. And he's kind of interested in some of these early versions from almost an archivist point of view, a scholarly point of view. Which is certainly an interesting idea. I mean, there is an early version of Eragon that no one's seen, that even my editor at Random House never saw. ... I cannot describe how much the Internet absolutely needs for you to put out an edition of Eragon that just says Kevin. Should this be like Mistborn or Way of Kings Prime? This is the Kevin edition of Eragon. The Kevin cut. Oh my god. It's "Eragon: Kevin's Version". ... We absolutely need Kevin's Version of Eragon. That's something we need. It's bad. It's bad. Look, there are certainly people who can look at Eragon, the version we have now, and say, "we can tell this was a younger writer." I look at it and I can tell. I could do so much more now with the material than I could then. But if you think that about the published version of Eragon, man, if you saw the unpublished version, the early version, it really is the raw writing of a homeschooled 15-year-old, who wrote a 500 page book about Kevin. I don't know, the internet is very unhinged these days. They would love this. It needs to exist somewhere on the internet. [32]

Publishing

Editing
So I wrote Eragon, and then I read the first draft and it wasn't particularly good, so I spent a good chunk of a year rewriting it as best as I could. I didn't know what I was doing but I was trying. I've heard it said that being displeased with your own work is actually a good thing because it means you know what is good work, and if you're not happy with your work because it's not good, it means you could at least have a goal to shoot for. If you read your work and you're like this is the best thing that's ever been written, you're never going to get any better. [28]
But I could see that the book needed work, so I decided to try to fix it as best I could, and I spent the better part of that year revising, rewriting, changing Kevin to Eragon. And then I gave the book to my parents and fortunately for me, they actually enjoyed what I had done. And they said, we think you have something, let's try to take it out into the world and see if anyone else wants to read it. [35]
Self-publishing
[We] decided to self-publish the book as a joint venture since we didn't know anyone in the publishing world. That was again a good chunk of a year where we were editing the book as best the three of us could. Preparing it for publication, formatting, I drew the cover. [28]
Now you have to understand, my parents were always self-employed, have always been self-employed and we were always looking for things we could work on together as a family business. And Eragon was like the perfect opportunity for that. They'd had some experience self-publishing a couple of small educational books my mom had worked on. Because she was a trained Montessori teacher, and so she was trying to use that expertise to write some material herself. But I don't even think we sold 100 copies of those. So we spent another good chunk of a year preparing the book for publication with doing more editing, doing the layout, designing the cover. [35]
The first set of 50 books showed up while we were watching Roman Polanski's Macbeth, which seemed fitting because those first 50 books were all miscut from the printer. And as a result, we had to rip the covers off, send them back for credit from the printer, and then burn the insides of the books. So we had a proper book burning in our yard, and I actually saved some of those burnt pages just as a memory of that event. [35]
Self publishing wasn’t as viable then as a pathway to a career as an author as it is today. Why did it work for you? Everything completely changed because of e-readers. If you wanted to read an e-book, you had to have a PDF on your computer. There were no distribution systems like Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Back then, the lowest amount you could print and not have the book be too expensive was probably about 10,000 copies. But we were fortunate because print-on-demand had just become a thing, so books were just printed as needed. Self publishing is a lot easier these days. Of course, today’s marketplace is a lot more crowded as a result. [16]
Promotion
My family and I were going around the western half of the United States with the self-published edition of Eragon. I was cold calling schools, libraries, and bookstores to set up events. I was doing two to three one-hour long presentations every single day for months on end at various times. You have to understand that because my parents were self-employed, the time they took to help prepare Eragon for publication was time they weren't working on other freelance projects that would have been bringing in money. So by the time we actually had Eragon printed and in hand, if it had taken another two to three months to start turning a profit, we were going to have to sell our house, move to a city, and get any jobs we could. Because of that financial pressure I was willing to do things I probably would have been too uncomfortable to do otherwise. Like doing all those presentations. [28]
We were doing a lot of self-promotion. I was cold calling schools and libraries and talking them into letting me do presentations. And that worked pretty well because the librarians could take pre-orders for us. If we went into a bookstore, by hand selling, I could maybe sell anywhere between 13 to 40 books in a day. 42 was like the best I ever did, but usually it was around 15 or so books, which just didn't cover printing costs and travel and food and all of that. But going into the schools, we were doing about 300 books a day, which was excellent. [34]
Can you tell me a little bit about how you and your family self-published the first Eragon book and what marketing strategies you did? Oh, it was all nepotism, you know. I wouldn't have gotten published without my parents. There's nothing as powerful as a publishing company that's four people sitting around a kitchen table in the middle of rural Montana. So yeah, without Nepotism, I wouldn't have gotten published. You have to embrace something like Nepotism if you really wanna succeed in today's world. In fact, people don't realize that you actually get a Nepotism card. There's a secret club. You go to New York and there's huge network opportunities. There's branches of the club everywhere, especially strong in Hollywood, of course, in music. Taylor Swift is an example. So if you can get into the nepotism club, I won't say you're guaranteed success, but you got about 80% chance of actually making it that you wouldn't have otherwise. Do you think your mom and dad would be willing to be my mom and dad? No, absolutely not. No, no. You don't have brown hair, so it doesn't work. You have to have brown hair to be a Paolini. Okay, I'll try to find a different way in, I guess. [31]
Getting traditionally published
So you were very much looking for that partnership? Well we were wary. But the thing is is we were selling enough copies of Eragon that to scale it up we were going to have to start duplicating all the things that a regular publisher does. We were actually looking at partnering with a book packager or a book distributor just to get more copies out. To do everything a traditional publisher could do for me was a huge amount of work so it made sense to pair with Random House or someone else at that point. But it was still nerve-wracking because the book was being a success and then handing it off to another company, we didn't know if it was just going to end up in the remainder bin two weeks after it came out. [28]
People in the book world were starting to take notice because of course, if you've been to public school, you may remember the Scholastic Book Fairs and all of the Scholastic reps in the different schools were seeing me come to the schools and selling these books and hearing the kids talk about it. And it was getting attention. So we would have gotten a publisher, I would have gotten a publisher eventually. [34]
The book sold enough copies and bounced around enough that we'd heard that Scholastic—because Scholastic does all the Book Fairs in schools in the US—was interested and that we might get an offer from them. Before that happened though... [34]
Eventually another author by the name of Carl Hiaasen ended up buying a copy of the self-published edition of Eragon in a local bookstore. Which now that I'm older, I'm rather shocked at because it takes a lot to get me to buy a self-published book. It's got to look really good. [35]
Carl Hiaasen wrote the young adult book Hoot as well as many adult books. He comes up to Montana, I think he's got a vacation home here in the valley, but he was up here fly fishing and he bought a copy of Eragon for his then 12 year old son, Ryan. And fortunately for me, Ryan liked the book and Carl recommended it to Random House and it sort of bounced around among the editors for a couple of months before my editor-to-be grabbed it and said, "Yes, we will. I want to take a chance on this teenage author and we're going to offer him money for a trilogy that only exists in his head and see what happens." [34]
How did you find an agent? We had the offer from Random House, and like two days later, we had the offer from Scholastic. And so we knew we didn't know what we didn't know. My dad participated in some online self-publishing forum sort of thing. So he posted up a question and said, look, this is the situation we're in. Does anyone have any advice? And another one of the members said, "well, I was just at this publishing writing conference and there was this young agent there and I was really impressed with his presentation, or him talking about the industry." So my dad got his information online and did what you're never supposed to do, which is he called the agent directly and left this long rambling voicemail message because it was lunchtime in New York and you take your lunch breaks in New York. And only at the end of the message did he say, "oh, yes, and by the way, we have two competing offers from two publishing houses." And when I asked him, I said, "why did you do that?" He said, "well, because if he's any good as an agent, he's going to listen to the whole message before he deletes it." And we found out later that he nearly deleted the message. Because my dad started off like, "I got this teenage son, and he's written this book", and yeah, that, OK. So it was like two hours later we got a call from Simon. And Simon said overnight me a copy of Eragon and if I like it I'll represent you. And Simon has been my agent for 21 years now. [34]
It was a big risk for Random House. And it was a big risk for me because the book was successful, self-published, and we knew that giving it to a publisher, you lose the rights to a degree, and most books don't turn a profit, and it could have just ended up in the remainder bin. So what really worked in my favor is that Random House, and specifically Random House Children's Books, and specifically the imprint of Knopf, which is where I'm at were looking for their own Harry Potter, essentially. Scholastic was publishing Harry Potter. And Scholastic also gave me an offer for Eragon, but I could tell that Random House was the one that really loved the book and Scholastic was doing it because they thought it was a good business opportunity. Scholastic actually offered more money than Random House. But I went with Random House and it was the right choice. And I found out after the fact that Chip Gibson who was the head of the children's department at the time basically chose to use Eragon as sort of something to rally the troops and put the entire children's division behind it, and I was the very fortunate recipient of that love and attention. Which of course would only get you so far if people didn't enjoy reading the book. But fortunately for me, they did a great job marketing it and then people actually enjoyed the book. Which is why when people ask me how to get published, it's like, what am I supposed to say? The answer ultimately is you write a book that people want to read, and that's a facile answer, but it is true. If people want to read it, it makes everything else easier. The agent wants you, the publishers want you, and ultimately the public wants you. [34]
And I didn't realize how much was behind that email, because large publishers do not just casually say, "hey, we want to publish your book". There was a whole plan there, and they had a plan. And so they did. Eragon came out and then I had to figure out how to write a book with everyone expecting the sequel. [36]
So you kind of went and peddled your books at schools, as I understand, right? It seems to have paid off though, because it eventually landed in the hands of bestselling author Carl Hiaasen, but not right away. First, your book got in the hands of his stepson, and the kid liked it so much that he told Hiaasen about it, who then got Eragon fast-tracked with Penguin Random House. I really admire the way that you went for the weakest links, manipulating the minds of our youth and using them to shill your book for you. It's a tried and true marketing strategy from Girl Scout Cookies to coupon books, and I applaud you for your ingenuity. My biggest question here is, do you pay Carl Hiaasen's stepson the agent royalties he so rightfully deserves? He tried to collect one time, but I had to hire a couple of guys to drive him off. But, no, you always go for the weakest link. Back when I was self-published and all that I even tried to get Eragon reviewed by Entertainment Weekly, so I called up the subscription number on the back of the magazine and told them I'd made a mistake and asked them to transfer me over to corporate, and managed to get right to their book reviewer and tried to talk him into reviewing Eragon. So you always go for, as you said, the weakest link. Which is corporate. Ryan, Carl's son, though, yeah, I probably owe him a ridiculous amount of royalties. I'd say so. He made you. Oh, he did, absolutely. Without him, I'd be nothing. I guess the lesson here for aspiring authors is that it's not really about finding your target audience, necessarily. You just have to find your target prolific author's stepson and let the kid take it from there. Yeah, absolutely. As I said, that's part of the nepotism package. The sort of networking inside the industry. This is the stuff that you can never access otherwise, and you'll never get published otherwise. So it's not like you can just grow up in the middle of nowhere in Montana, self-publish a book, and then just become a success, by promoting it. You have to have connections. That's genius. I think you could have had an incredible career in designing loot boxes for mobile games based on how good you are at manipulating the world. Absolutely, microtransactions are God's work. [31]
Gaining Confidence
Was anxiety something you felt moving to this deal with Random House? Was that quite pressuring? Yes, it was a big change to go from writing for yourself as a teenager, homeschooled, living in the middle of nowhere, to knowing that there was a large audience for your next book and that they had expectations. I got criticized quite a bit, critiqued quite a bit when Eragon came out for, shall we say, my lack of experience on the technical side of things with the writing. I'd say some of those were certainly fair critiques. The great advantage of youth is that you don't know how difficult things are and you have a lot of energy. The great disadvantage of youth is you don't have experience, and there's no fixing that aside from time and effort. All of that was definitely in my head when I really started work on Eldest and it was pretty nerve-wracking quite honestly. [28]
When you finished the book, I mean your parents believed in it obviously. Did you too? Or were you like, "You know what, maybe the second book, maybe go all in on the second one?" I didn't feel like I was actually an author until my third book was published. Because the first one, well, that could be a fluke. Well, the second one, yeah, but you know. But once the third book came out, then I was like, okay, maybe I'm actually a writer. But even then, even after I finished the series, I still felt like, okay, now I have to write something that's not Eragon, just to prove that I can. So every book has been its own challenge and has been a way for me to keep feeling like I'm growing as an artist and learning to become a better and better writer. [2]
It took me, I wanna say almost 10 years to feel like I wasn't an imposter and that it wasn't just gonna get yanked away. You know what my dream was when Eragon was was going to get published by Random House? Like this was my pie in the sky because I didn't think it was going to happen. But this was my dream. I did all the math and I was like, man, if I could somehow someday sell 100,000 books, which is impossible. But man, if I could sell 100,000 books, that's a darn good living. Man, I could really make a living off that. I could support a family and 100,000 books. Man, that'd be amazing. And then it kind of took off from there. [33]
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2024.05.19 15:01 Fun-Sandwich4353 How to deal with a narcissistic abusive mother

I am stuck living with my mother for a few months until I'm back on my feet and WOW, now I know why half my siblings are in no contact with her.
When I try to enforce simple boundaries, she gets angry and then cries to my step-dad to get him on board with the silent treatment against me and my 10 month old son. This will last for several hours or a couple days.
Examples of these boundaries include do not verbally abuse my baby and do not mock me for leaving an abusive relationship. She has called my 10m old son a bitch baby, a little fucker, a jerk, an asshole, fat face and other insults.
When I politely told her not to insult my sweet baby, she turned it around on me and said something to the effect of me picking fights with her because that's what I'm used to and something even worse I honestly can't remember atm. She knows the reason I left was physical abuse and that I'm severely depressed and her comments cut deep.
She's literally a shit mother when i was growing up. She raised all of her children to be dysfunctional and allowed other adults to abuse us as she sat on her ass popping pills, eating and sleeping. She blames all the abuse on my father and she's just a victim too. Bullshit.
Sorry this kinda turned into a vent post but how do I deal with her for another 5 months without losing it? I will not allow her to insult my son the way she did her own kids, I will always stand up for him, but is there a more effective way than just calling it out when I see it?
I'm honestly considering going back to my abusive ex because at least he never did anything to hurt our son physically or verbally.
I can honestly see why I always accepted the bare minimum from relationships after some reflection, because the bare minimum is better than what my parents ever gave me. I'm also considering no contact with her when this is over.
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2024.05.19 15:00 miserable_existence6 how to get over someone

okay, please don't judge me.
I had a big crush on a girl from my class. we got along very good, it's the classic scheme of I didn't know how to interpret what she's saying, leading to me thinking she might like me. I made a fool out of myself. I wrote a letter which she said was good, one of the best she ever got (lmao) , only to tell me one week later that she can't talk to me anymore. she also blamed me for talking about this topic to another girl in my class, while she did the exact same. and that was our last contact, 6 months ago. I know I don't want or need or should talk to this person and I really thought I'm over it, we had no relationship and knew each other for 2 months. she also stopped visiting school. idk if that is because of me tho because she had problems with that from the start, just like me. that's why we started talking in the first place. but at the same time all these points could also be the reason why it is still on my mind. we never talked about this face to face, and that was my biggest mistake. instead of writing a corny letter and overwhelming her with my emotions I should have just talked to how I feel. I believe things would have gone another way. but the main reason why I still think about this so much is that I'm dreaming of her regularly. yup. in the beginning it was very often, now it is every few days. last night I dreamt that we had a class trip and she came late and started talking to me as nothing ever happened. it's always some fake scenario where we're still friends, or we're friends again. a few times I dreamt that shes calling or texting me to say sorry. sometimes when she called me in my dream I woke up right when I answered my phone. I don't know, maybe this sounds pathetic, maybe you think I need therapy, let me tell you I'm looking for it, but actually I don't want this to be a big topic in that therapy because I have enough trauma honestly. but I'm writing this because I hope that someone can give me advice on what to do to finally let that person go because nothing's gonna happen. I don't believe that time alone will solve this issue because as I've already said it's been 6 months and we had contact for only 2. it's like it happened in a different world for me but I'm still heavily invested, at least subconsciously. I'm not talking to anyone about his anymore because I know they don't wanna hear it anymore and I get that. and it also doesn't feel better after I talked to someone about it so why do it.
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2024.05.19 15:00 user012191 AITAH - wanting to be included in bf’s grad celebrations

My bf and I recently graduated from law school. Over these past three years, he’s ended the relationship three different times, and dated other girls at the school during these breaks. We do not live together, as he lives at home with his mother. She has never liked me (I’ve met her twice) and he hasn’t helped the situation by telling her every detail of our arguments. He will usually split his time 50/50 between his mom’s house and my place. However, we’ve been perfectly fine (minimal disagreements) for the past month. This past Wednesday, his brother (who does not live in the same state) came to visit for graduation. This is when he stopped coming oveanswering my texts. Two text back total ok Thursday, and none on Friday. I wanted to meet up with him Friday night (the night before graduation) to get drinks/celebrate our accomplishment as he was going out with his brothecousin/best friend. However, he refused to allow this because “we need to be more stable” before he can “mix” me with his family and that he “is very strict” about who he brings around his family. I tried to push back because I didn’t want to be hidden, and he called me delusional and manipulative. I’ve met the people he went out with multiple times. Saturday comes around and he hosts a large graduation lunch post grad which I was not invited to. I had my own as well so it wasn’t a big deal. Also, he invited his best friend’s girlfriend’s cousin to the events, and this is a girl he had a thing with before me. He told me he invited only a few guys from school, but turns out he also invited a few girls who are his friends as well (he lied about this.) I received maybe a total of 5 texts back yesterday. He claims he wants to talk later today but I’m not sure if I want to give him the time of day anymore because bar prep starts this week and I cannot be distracted any longer. There has been zero love/affection/attention since Wednesday, and I believe his excuses to prevent me from celebrating with him are baseless. AITAH for “not respecting his boundaries” or do we agree that it’s bs?
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2024.05.19 14:59 Leonardodapunchy Why I can't write anymore

Did you know that Emperor Nero was never shown any validation, praise or approval from his mother...ever!
Then when he became Emperor he suddenly had loads of people fawning on him and congratulating him. For him it was like taking a starving man to an all you can eat buffet.
No amount of praise or adulation was ever enough for him, which lead him into a very destructive path to get more praise and validation.
Most of my life has been spent being invalidated, told how nothing I do is ever good enough and always be told I have to do better no matter how hard I try.
When I posted a fan fiction for the first time on the internet alot of people liked it, even loved it. But like Nero, it awakened in me a destructive and desperate need for validation and praise.
And when I didn't get it I took it as rejection and that I nobody would ever like my writing again.
I became hyper critical of my own writing, trying to eliminate every possible weakness or problems, trying to anticipate every possible criticism about plot, continuity, realism, believability, characters, etc and making them criticism proof (accept for people who just wanted to criticize for the sake of it).
As a result I lost the creative joy and satisfaction that writing fiction in order to tell a story I wanted to tell.
I took evey criticism as a catastrophic failure and it made me feel like I was incapable of writing anything good.
That was 12 years ago and I still can't write like I used to, when I would spend several hours every day writing and loving it.
Now when I write all I can think about is my fear of being invalidated and being a failure. I try to write for fun, but it's not fun anymore. I feel like it's pointless if no one is ever going to read it.
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2024.05.19 14:59 Excellent-Post6622 Situation with my brother

Hey yall I need some advice on how to handle this. So for last year it has been nothing but drama with my brother. First when he told is his ex was pregnant we was not really yippee excited but more less "are you ready to be a dad and no longer think about just yourself" Yada Yada. Now we never had a bad feelings with the baby mama so we asked hey is there anything you need, do you want me to go the doctor with you so you won't be alone, she never responded. Months later of us asking but getting told nothing or she had the appointment when my brother out of town so he didn't know anything. My mom asked "Son, I'm seeing red flags with this. She's not telling you anything and when you ask about the baby she gets mad at you. None of the appointments are when you are here. Is she really pregnant?" That made my brother say that my mom is longer his mother, she's nothing, she is worthless and she's dead to him. Apparently the baby mama read my brother's text and got her feelings hurt. So after I cussed him out about not disrespecting my mom and if his baby mama refuses to let mom explain the reason why she said that, it's on him to explain it. Fast forward to now the baby mama still refuses (when it's inconvenient for her) to be around me and my mom. I keep asking what can we do to fix the issue so I can be there with my niece and help out. My brother continues to say it's no issues. The other day my brother and mom got into argument because mom asked to buys gates for his kitchen to keep the dog out instead of boxes that it can knock over. He said no and that mom needs to get some therapy for her fear of dogs because he's not moving the dogs just for her. That pissed my mom off because she was willing to stay in the kitchen and be caged in instead of the dog so it can be free. Mom said "if I need therapy your baby mama does too because if she says she has anxiety every time being around me but refuses to say what issue is and keeps you away from your family" they had their argument ending him saying don't ever contact him again and she will never see the baby again. I came in just trying to figure out both sides. So I called my brother. Now I only get mad very rarely and when I get mad I get mad. When I was talking my brother I was calm and talked it out. He said "mom said xyz and was pissed you know" I said "yeah I understand mom was trying to Yada yada". Eventually it got to the point of him keep cutting me off saying he doesn't need to explain shit to me. I got upset and raised my voice and said you're not going to keep cutting me off I was respectful to you and you will do the same to me. He hung up on me. Few minutes later he called back asked "are you feeling better now?" I sighed and explained that this last year was hell for me. My father is the hospital, I have to take of my little sister now, I'm already a caregiver, the baby drama is hell AND I'm in medical school so forget him. He said "well it has nothing to do with my woman so you have to get over it" I told him I don't like his baby mama but I respect and love her because she went through hell to bring my niece in this world he said since I don't like the mother of his child I'm no longer allowed to see my niece. I'm just hurt and have so many emotions right now.
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2024.05.19 14:58 isaxmx Partner "agressive" with toddler

I'll keep this short and sweet. I'm having a very hard time sleeping these days between the neighbours above and my son waking up in middle of the night AND my son refusing that I nap during the day. We live in a small condo so if he cries, I can't sleep.
The issue is I developped this mom rage due to severe lack of sleep and I really really work on it. I even have a quote as a background of my phone to calm me down when my son throws a tantrum.
When I ask my partner (his dad) to help instead of creating this safe space for him, being comforting or whatever he grabs him quite aggressively and it's like a punishment and I see my son very sad and crying even more so I HAVE to go back and handle things myself. Its simply not helping.
Yesterday I was done. We had a similar situation and his dad just grabbed him from my bed aggressively and took away what my son had in his hands (wtf was this necessary?) my son was sobbing in the other room like "tromatised" and I got so pissed off!
My parents came to pick up my son when he left I told my partner that I'm so very done with this repeating itself I cant parent with him its not team work (obviosuly at first I asked him if he thinks this behaviour helps)
He stayed zen and acted absolutely surprise like "I wasn't aggressive... I think you're more aggressive than me" (just because once or twice a 2am I got mad due to lack of sleep with no help and my son not stopping for one sec which made me feel guilty more than anything else and my partner KNOWS this).
I felt like it was a brick wall again and no solution we clearly dont agree and I felt like there was no other solution than suggest to separate.
We had a night out planned with our friends that day I did everything to make sure it was planned perfectly for 2 weeks. I couldnt go out, I was so mad and sad ....
He simply went without me. Despite all of it.
I stayed home crying all evening, I tried to go to a park to relax but found myself crying there so came back. While he was enjoying himself with our friends.
Its hard to explain quickly with no details. But I cant believe all of it. I dont know what to do.
I won't forget ever that he was capable of having fun when I literally talked about selling the condo and to just separate. I even asked him if he was actually relieve? What the hell?
submitted by isaxmx to toddlers [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:57 HabsKat Do people with MS need more sleep to feel rested

I was diagnosed with MS at the age of 21. Although my symptoms at that time and many times throughout the last three decades have been various physical problems I have suffered greatly from insomnia and when I do sleep well I find that I need a solid 9 hours if not 10 to feel rested. Right now I am really suffering from insomnia. Mostly early wakening, 3 am or earlier. I go to bed very early. I estimate that I got 8 hrs last night. When I was younger this was fine, though 9 was preferred. In the last month I have often slept 4-5 hours.
My mother always said that even as a child I would go to bed early on my own. As far back as I can remember I’ve required a lot of sleep to function. I was told by my neurologist at the time of diagnosis that it is thought that people contract the disease before the age of 12 yrs and it can stay dormant for quite some time.
I am seeing various specialists now for my sleep problems. Because I appear “normal” I feel as if they often forget that MS fatigue is a very real thing. After having my son 25 yrs ago he didn’t sleep very well at all for about two years. I’ve never recovered from that it seems. No matter how much sleep I get at some point quite early in the day it’s like I am a lamp that has been unplugged. I just suddenly lose my energy and I’m useless.
Do people with MS need more sleep than non-MSers? Would love to know what fellow MSers experience for sleep needs
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2024.05.19 14:55 Axenfonklatismrek Do you have Expy characters in your settings?

FIRST OF ALL MUSIC
My inspiration came from u/SpartanSpock post on Worldbuilding, who did the same thing, but i'm gonna copy my comment i posted there with changes
For those who don't know, EXPY is a character, who the author based on someone, either real, fictional or historical, but since my world is one big expy(Lornhemal's cultures are copies of real world cultures with some tweaks), i'm gonna go wiht some of my favorites and the most obvious
I HAVE A LOT OF EXPIES, so i'm gonna get some of my favorites, from easiest to guess to probably the hardest. So I'm gonna lay down their basic descriptions
Göts, A Mercenary Swordsman, who became famous for besting very tough knight in a combat, known for wearing black armor and carrying largest sword in the world, then becomes one of Erika's lackeys, who helped her gain more power(by defeating bandits and stuff like that) and obtain her lordship of Gradsko
Wlad I. An Eastern Batrianic's Empire's warlord, master of the Black Wolves(Knightly order originally founded to repell Eastern Tribesmen), who decided to become his own king, famous for his cruelty and savagery. He was successful for a while, then heart attack killed him and half of his army got destroyed by earthquake.
Sir Loxley, a nobleman, who goes against all law and seeks to keep the corrupt and greedy officials in line, very strong bowman, taught Vigviid I.(Main Protagonist of 2nd crisis saga, soon to be Tsar, who was sent to Western empire by his uncle to be raised while he went to end Civil war(Also known as 2nd Crisis of the 16th century)) how to plan battles. Friendly but not nice, harsh but careful, strict but with reason to be.
Kiš Zabaru, a mad king who slaughtered every slave child in his kingdom in order to avoid destiny fulfilling some nonsensical destiny, for which Thorik(Main villain of 2nd crisis saga: Batrian IV's story, and the man who started it) razed the entire city of Kish became punished for his crimes.
Erika Keszek, a vengeful lady, who was seeking a way to get revenge on her mother for her crimes and thus was willing to do everything, even literally bathing in blood of the innocents. She found her hideout in form of abandoned castle of Gradsko, where she practiced all sorts of blood sorcery to discover her mother, only to find out her mother is gonna be executed. When she returned, her reign of terror continued, this time she became obsessed with eternal youth, then she was killed by 3 of her men(2 didn't make it out, 3rd one was her lover Ion, who then died of rusty nail poisoning him), who realized she's gone mad
Ó Sterey, Gallowglass warrior, Ó Belay's best friend, man of average stature, blonde hair and moustache, very clever fighter, his favorite weapons are javelins and Sword, very friendly and like his friend, very good company when near children, taught Vigviid how to fence and fight with sword
Ó Belay, Another Gallowglass warrior, Ó Sterey's best mate, tall man, who carries large sword, red moustache, big belly but very strong, even in melee hes dangerous, but overall very friendly, especially towards Children. Taught Vigviid how to fight against other weapons like Axes, maces or shields
Hugo the Shadowhair, an assassin who was hired to kill Vigviid,only to kill Loxley and 15 other men, while he almost killed Vigviid and his remaining friends, he bled to death before doing a striking final blow at one of them(Specifically Mabyn, Vigviid's older tomboy cousin), wears black leather armor, armed to the teeth(Has 2 swords, 3 daggers, 1 long sharp chain, and carries drugs that nullify his pain), fast in attacks, brutal in combat, has no mercy towards anyone who draws a sword against him. His first appearance is him sitting in the pub, some drunk disturbs him, and Hugo slams Drunk's face to the table, killing him. Rest of the Drunk's friends come in and want to kill him, when guard steps in, Hugo pays the Barkeep, and leaves behind 8 brutally mutilated men.
Morhun Van Hausern. Son of a former king of central Batrianic empire, then prime minister, and then Tsar Batrian IV. Brown curly hair, very handsome man, Very good company to be around, ace in horseriding, fencing is his poetry, very charismatic, even the ladies want him, but he has one secret that may have caused his doom: Hes a Homosexual, which resulted in his rival, Thorsenn Knärsen(Spoiled son of the villain Thorik Knärsen), who shot him in the back due to a petty revenge(Morhun insulted his pride), and because LGBT people are considered "Freaks" by the Batrianics(yes, Batrian IV was bit of a homophobe(IE. may criticize you for your Sexuality, but won't be hostile unless theres a reason, besides, Morhun was his son, and if theres one thing Batrian IV can't stand, its the thought that someone might hurt his family, which is why his morality was slowly dropping after his son's death)).
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2024.05.19 14:54 siherbie Nightmarish Experience with Deceased Mother's Death Claim Settlement Process

So I am 37(M) and my mother (73) before she passed away on 24/12 /23. The thing that happened was that my mom ended up, having health scares one after another last year. So essentially it was first when she was told to get minor cataract surgeries, this time of month last year and both her and me were busy with her tests and later surgeries in June, July. Since she had Care insurance, she applied for her cataract surgies claim - earlier both got approved for 30k each for both surgies costing almost 50k each but then suddenly they backtracked & said one claim was rejected as place where we got surgies done, was blacklisted later. Now the single 30k claim should have been deposited, right. But nope, it still stuck & since my mom later got diagnosed with stage-4 kidney cancer in September which really shocked both me and my mom as my mom's tests have always been decent. Irrespectively, I got her on keytruda immunotherapy asap as surgeon couldn't operate till it was reduced and my mom was indeed reacting very positively to the treatment despite some issues with side-effects. However despite my best efforts, my mother suffered a brain stroke and I had to take the difficult decision of taking her off life support while dealing with another care insurance tantrum where they rejected her icu charges, so I ended up paying almost 1lakh out of my pocket and still had to pay additional 2.5lakh for further processes which was further complicated by my narcissistic sister who was only around to get her inheritance & making my life hell so I had almost no time to arrange the amount as I had only 40k left. Thus I unfortunately withdrew funds from my mom's accounts (I am Nominee & had her credentials though I also refunded them once I had a more stable mindset & recovered from fevemed issues throughout January). Either way, I initiated the Maharashtra govt ppo closure (I had refunded the amts taken from pension accounts prior to initiating paperwork) by Jan end & also approached local cbi home branch for also closing my deceased father's family pension to my mom. The branch manager directed me to this problematic deputy branch manager to whom I did admit that I had to withdraw funds from my mother's pension accounts but I have refunded them once I gathered resources(basically my sibling & family members are useless besides the fact that my sister has indulged in some criminal offenses like harassing me & my mom both before & after her death, etc while said family members did nothing). Since my mother also took 3 fds earlier in 2023, the deputy branch manager wanted me to break them & told me that individual account won't be closed & only her CIF would be directly deactivated. Since it was only few months to fds maturity & state govt pension closure was yet to occur - I told her that I will file for death claim settlement once state govt pension is closed & excess pension is recovered by them as deactivating the CIF will make this troublesome & a legal case. So she agreed to wait till state govt pension is closed and I gather all necessary documents in the meantime. Luckily state govt treasury did close the ppo & withdrew excess pension by 19th March while I also managed to transfer most of the mutual funds where I am Nominee. However since state govt treasury office (it's in another city from where I live & reasonably far), didn't give me letter of closure/confirmation - I was asked to wait for 1 month by local treasury officer (as financial year closing was approaching) which I informed to said deputy branch manager. During this time, I also had to deal with legal paperwork as the lawyer my mom knew, didn't inform her or me to register it & also wasted my time in March. So I had to look for other ways to inherit one immovable property (my sibling holds 16.66% share and I have 83.34% as per my mom's wish to inherit the property as per her will), one problematic mf transfer which I accidentally botched by editing Nominee details (still not sure as my mental health was seriously impaired in Jan/Feb & I also have same scheme, so not sure how it happened as there's no email confirmation except for an otp I found though I am not sure why I would update nominee details when I am already nominee there & even mentioned in will). Since UTI rejected both of my transmission claims so I am waiting for my current lawyer to complete the gift deed & apply for heirship certificate at municipality for filing my deceased mom's ITR. Also please note that despite timely updates to deputy branch manager, she let the FDs renew without my permission & has been acting dubious besides acting very rudely with me. So situation is,
  1. I have filed compliant with cbi bank (or rather couple of them as again, I wasn't informed properly nor received proper feedback from bank). Now I will be collecting the FDs physical certificates from branch & wait for resolution as said deputy branch manager is very suspicious(like asking me to file false FIR for online FDs whose online receipts I already have or saying there will be penalty for breaking autorenewed FDs that strangely got renewed on maturity dates without any prior indication & some things not adding up with new scheme plus the whole confusing me with different instructions). Though luckily I have atleast closed state govt pension bank account & it was transferred to my account (it's at same problematic home branch) on 3rd May & de-activated my mom's CIF. So as bank resolution will take additional 15days to come, should I approach branch with resolution & LHC to minimize further problems despite being Nominee.(there's an error in relationship in cbi's savings account where my name & details are there but relationship is daughter instead of son but I already made Rs.100 self-affidavit as per dubious deputy branch manager instructions & all other documents including death claim form).
 
  1. Applying for my mom's final ITR is necessary & I have already submitted most financial statements to my CA to compute including the TDS deducted on the FDs since I have been given July-end deadline. Plus as my mother & me spent more than 10lakh+ for her cancer treatment, I am hoping that I will get some deductible relief on her final itr besides tds. The issue is that I am still lacking any legal heirship document that will allow me to register as assessee for filing my mother's ITR. I did ask another bank where I am also nominee for mom's account, for issuing bank letter confirming Nominee details but they refused. However hopefully as I am going to execute a registered gift deed with help of my new lawyer that will mention my mom's unregistered will, I am hoping it allows me to register for the ITR. Otherwise I will have to approach local municipality office for issuing surviving family membeheirship certificate once gift deed allows me to initiate transfer property to my name.
 
  1. There are still some untransferred assets such as a SBG linked to my mom's account besides the UTI scheme that's linked to same account(for uti, I already have most paperwork ready except that they asked for legal document that confirms relationship between me and my mother so while I can submit my passport copy though feeling it's better if will gets registered during gift deed process as it's mentioned there). Then there's the care insurance claim associated with same account & taken by bank officials of same bank yet it came to my attention that Care apparently messed my mom's name multiple times while issuing the policy & the claim hasn't processed as policy name & bank account name don't match (it's only a difference in middlename and could have been conveyed to my mom when she approached them multiple times). I did ask my lawyer regarding this & as amount is only 30k, he has asked me not to think about claim as for now as Care doesn't seem sincere as they haven't given it in writing that they will issue claim if I submit LHC/Registered Will with other documents. So while I will get SBG once I close the account & also uti mf scheme (hopefully), I am not sure if I should file a consumer case against Care (as an employee even misbehaved with my mom & the claim situation feels really fraudulent) or just hope that Care would honor the claim once I submit the documents.(they also only mentioned sending documents over email so again felt weird)
 
Overall all these incidents have seriously affected my health and frankly I need a break for myself as I am still struggling with my grieving (I saw my mom die 3 times & the family drama still triggers my cptsd though I am not suicidal or having med issues unlike in Jan besides still unable to take some personal time off due to these commitments). I also apologize if this post ended up too long or having details all over the place as I am still trying to piece together as much information I have as I do have written journal records of the paperwork & events that occurred though I forgot to list down some details here & there due to trying to manage everything by my own.
submitted by siherbie to IndiaInvestments [link] [comments]


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