Flirty forwards for cell phones

Back story: Me (28F) and my boyfriend (28M) have been together for about 6 years. I've always had trust issues stemming from being cheated on in previous relationships that, admittedly, caused problems for me in my present ones. From what I can tell, boyfriend has never strayed away and cheated. He hasn't had very many female friends, and when he does have them, usually they're his friends girlfriends/wives. Around March last year we split up due to myself having a trauma stress response of lying about things. Stupid little things that I didn't need to lie about. I.E. buying snacks when we were tight on money, buying weed while we were trying to quit. But small lie or not, a lie is a lie and I eventually broke the trust. We were separated for about a year, hooking up occasionally, I worked on myself through therapy and in the moment correction to fix that white lie issue, and he worked on his own weaknesses as well. Through that year, he tells me he didn't sleep with anyone else, and I believe him. Very slowly, we started hanging out more and getting closer again. And ended up getting back together this month, just over a year later.
I have always been stressed out with my SOs female friends. Not boyfriends specifically, but just in general. Too many times have I had a "this is my best friend, she's like my sister" type situation where you end up checking his phone for him after being asked to see who texted him, and find out they very much are not like brother and sister. Or maybe just Alabama style.
I apparently seem to have a history of reading too much into things. When boyfriends brother met his now Fiancee, it stressed me out how close she and boyfriend got. I always knew it was silly to feel that way, and tried my best to ignore the feeling, but I can't always hide my facial expressions and we ended up having a huge discussion about how, even if he ever felt like cheating, he definitely wouldn't do it with his brothers girlfriend.
Fast forward to this weekend, I get to meet some good friends of his, he started hanging out with more after we split up. I've been excited to meet them, but particularly excited to meet his friends wife, we'll call her L(27F). Since boyfriend has been hanging out with them, he's mentioned L a LOT. Hes mentioned her more than more his other friends honestly, and even somehow 'accidentally' ended up with a small maybe 2 inch by 1 inch picture of her in his computer bag. He said he didn't know how it got there. They're on snap together, they send eachother memes on Facebook, they're super close and seemed to gravitate toward one another, walking side by side shoulders touching while we're outside, going on walks together alone when he visits them in Oregon, sometimes he will even lie his head on her lap when we all sat on his brothers couch. But he called me over to join the cuddle puddle shortly after. his friend group is like a super close knit group. One of those ones that you always wish you had. The squad. But he doesn't get that cuddly with his brothers fiancee.
Anyways, I digress. Boyfriend was giving them the tour of the house. Her husband was with them for the majority of the tour, but we all eventually sat in the living room and we're chilling. It was a barbecue so there were a lot of people around. I look behind me and see boyfriend leading L down the stairs to the basement. I guess she really wanted to see what it looked like down there. I can hear them talking, and then a pause; and then back to talking. After a moment, his best friend and Ls husband go downstairs, I get curious so follow down shortly after. L and boyfriend were standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, both facing the door way, L slightly behind boyfriend. I have been trying and trying to shake the feeling I got when I saw them standing there, I really do like L and her husband. But I don't know. They just looked so awkward and almost guilty. Boyfriend would hardly make eye contact with me for a good 20 minutes and L became a lot more affectionate towards her husband. I couldn't tell if he was bothered too, he got real quiet for a while and got on his phone, bit seemed normal towards boyfriend and L for the rest of the night.
I did mention to him that it made me feel weird that they went in the basement alone together when other people mentioned wanting to see, i mean i had never gone in the basement before, he could have invited me, and he said "it was just part of the tour, she wanted to see what it looked like" but I just cannot shake the small differences I saw. I'm worried this is one of those times where I'm "looking for things that aren't there". As boyfriend has so lovingly put it in the past.
So, after a few days of mulling it over and waiting for this feeling to go away, I decided to seek some advice, or maybe for someone to just tell me I'm being silly and have it actually make me feel better.

I just wondered do colleges actually work like partnership with bunch of companies to get students hired at their corporation. Do colleges help students find jobs or get you into a training program? Some colleges have discount programs offered for cell phone plans or buying laptops for discount price. Like I don't know how to take advantage of good opportunities in college

I have a question for you all, what do i do? Little back story: My dad died in January, i was no contact with her but about 6 months before he died i was very light contact with her becuase of him. He was always in the room or listening close by when she and i talked. Fast forward to his death. She acted weird, wouldn’t let my sister or i to go upstairs or anything. About 2 months ago she blows my phone up saying she wants these pictures of my childhood (she calls her memories), i told her i have them digitized and i would give her a copy, still not good enough. She then says they are in a blue chest that me nor my sister have ever seen in our lives. In that text she said that we will never get anything of his if she dosnt get that footlocker and pictures. My sister goes to her house to try and at least get his thumpprint but was told that we will never see anything, she and her daughter was told to leave. During this heir stuff, she changed it and added my sister and this other women who turned out to be my dads ex gf daughter. Still not sure if she is his daughter that’s to be determined but she told me she is not his kid. If she is his kid then cool but this women is 50 years old and just now he’s her dad, sus but ok. Fast forward to last night, apparently my mom was texting my tutor who i had back in 2015 and i haven’t seen her in a very long time. She starts off by asking that i was asking if who ever she thought she was, was in contact with her. Then after no reply i guess blows this women’s phone up saying “we know it’s you f…… c…… b…… Christin, that’s my fav among many other choice words. My tutor said that it was a wrong number then my mother proceeds to not only call this women but send over 40 messages with something similar to this: Lufiyiydoyfupgouvuvpuvupfkgxk Just random key strokes. Then sends me a screenshot of her calling my tutor 6 times! With the caption of “how stupid are you to use Jane’s account, we can trace it back to you, gotcha”. Now my mother drinks heavily and usues prescription medications, she is alone in the house my dad and her lived in and he ultimately died in. She has over 20 cats and god knows how many ducks and chickens. My sister, her children, our spouses and i have stopped all contact with her becuase of her actions not only at the furneral but just in general. Help ladies, what is going on besides her being a narcissist!

(Mentions of: Hospitals, SA)
So I’ve been friends with this one person for a few years. I’m going to refer to them as “M” moving forward in the story.
We met in a psychology class, where the main focus was mental illnesses. I had an interest in it, because I was interested to learn about something that I struggled with. M was a psychology major, with a big interest in mental illness herself.
We didn’t really talk till one year after our class together. This is when we started getting closer as friends.
However, the thing with “M” is that she’s always sick. She’s having a physical flare, she’s breaking down, basically everything. And I ended up being the one to kind of take care of her, but long distance because she was forced to drop out of our college. She was constantly in and out of the ER and would always notify me. She was even in the ER about 4 times in just one month.
She also struggles with her mental illness. Which she has quite a few. But I myself also deal with comorbidities when it comes to mental illnesses, so no judgement there.
But it got to the point where she was dumping a bunch of trauma in her life onto me in our text messages.
I had to avoid messaging because it was too much for me. But I could never be away long because “M” would freak out thinking I’m mad at her.
She didn’t care about how I was that day. I could be ecstatic or I could be in a dark place.
One instance I was in a mental health institute, and that one phone call I had to her, she told me she was SAed. She told me this knowing where I was at. And it was all the day before I got out.
She never asks how I’m doing. Any chance she gets, she talks about herself and her problems. How they’re worse than what I experience.
A part of me wonders if she’s really toxic, or if I’m taking these worse than they actually are. Some of the things she’s done have been really F’ed up, but a part of me is holding on.
But I’m unsure if that tie is from friendship, or feamy own trauma.
Is this a sign to run away from this friendship that I’m tangled in?
Any advice would be immensely appreciated!

We were coach / student for a year and got super close when I moved. She started reaching out from the day I left showering me with "don't go" and “turn around and come home” and "you're making me cry AGAIN" and good morning texts most days of the week and tons of phone conversations, face times, texts.
She wanted to get me more involved at our gym, have me teach classes, asked for help with social media and her website, found reasons to contact me nearly every single day even when conversation had maybe died off or whatever. Then I came back home. She started acting different and in a few weeks discarded me. Just totally threw up a wall over me not doing what she wanting to go to another coach’s class for a drop in. She didn’t want me to.
Then next day we sort of argue for 40 minutes about how I keep wanting more from her despite all she gives to me. After that, I gave her space for a week-2 weeks. Then asked to talk. She said she'd prefer to email going forward. Then sent me an email saying she only stayed in contact with me when I moved bc she “felt sad” I was alone and she wanted to keep my spirits up. She also said I was harassing her.

I (22M) have never had the greatest relationship with my mom. I lived with my father until 18 and rekindled my relationship with her when I moved back into her place then.
My dad was very hands off and I felt like I was the best version of myself living with him. Since moving in with my mom, I find myself stressed and constantly worried. Admittedly, transitioning to my mom’s place occurred during COVID and during my first year of Uni… so there are other factors at play.
But, my mom is also a very stressed out person. I’ve never asked how she’s doing and heard anything other than complaints about work, her fiance, or life in general. I love my mom and she is always positive when it comes to supporting and believing in me. I would not have been able to go to college or even survive during those years without her. But that doesn’t change the fact that she is overwhelmingly negative about herself and it does affect me.
Since living with her, I have lost a bit of myself and became a huge people pleaser. I hate seeing how stressed and sad she always is. It makes her very reactive and unable to comprise or accept other peoples percpectives. Overtime, this has caused me to choose my words selectively and lately I have even been somewhat emotionally manipulative. I only mean that I have began using the arguments she does against me which is saying things along the lines of “you’re gonna push me over the edge” or “if u care about me just stop”. Those are her exact words and my attempt at reusing those are much more mild.
Anyways, growing up (when I lived with my mom) we had a few different dogs that all got given away randomly due to my mom’s dog allergy. One of those times I was given an ultimatum of giving away my guinea pig or the dog, and I couldn’t choose. So, my parents decided to give both away while I was at school. I was maybe 10 or 11 then. I never got a chance to say goodbye to any of the pets.
She has since remarried and we got a dog right before I left for study abroad. Before I left, I explained this to her new fiance and asked to be told if the dog is ever being given away so I can find it a home with a friend or family member. I asked my mom to tell me if anything happens with the dog as well.
7 months in to my study abroad, I hear from my little brother about how sad he is that our dog is being given away. Obviously, I flip out on my mom and this is when I used the emotional manipulation that she uses on me. When I asked about the dog she would tell me there’s so much she’s dealing with that she doesn’t care about a dog, and she wouldn’t give me a straight answer as to where our dog was or if it was being given away.
I said some things that were over the top like telling her I would not be living with her if the dog was given away. And that if she is willing to give away the dog we picked out together without so much as warning me then she obviously does not care about me.
After completely ghosting me for a week or two, she explains how my little step sister has dropped the dog and does not treat the dog well. Fair enough. Except that I think she is lying as we have cameras in the house and there has never been footage of this. I tell her I’m not mad about the dog being placed elsewhere as much as I am that she completely ignored my request to at least let me know beforehand so I can place her with a friend. That way me and my little brothers can go see the dog whenever we want. She ends up changing her mind and takes the dog back in. I also texted her fiance at this time who said everybody loves the dog and they want to do everything possible to keep it.
Fast forward a couple months, and I get another text from my 11 yr old brother that our dog is gone and so is all of her toys. I called my mom and cried a bit on the phone. I couldn’t believe that after she saw how important it was to me the first time, she would do the same exact thing. She took the dog back to the breeder because she said the dog was limping as my little step sister dropped her. My little brother confirmed this.
So, I sent paragraphs offering alternative solutions. I am back home from abroad in less than 1 month, and will have finished my degree. I have a job lined up and can technically move out as soon as I get back home. I can find the dog a home before then that will either be permanent or temporary until I move out. I told her that all I ask for is the ability to adopt the dog for myself when I get back home.
The only response I got back to the paragraphs were “just stop”. According to my brother she has given it back to the breeder and they will find the dog a new home.
I’m not so mad that the dog is gone, as I completely understand that if she is not safe due to my step sister than it’s for the best. What I’m mad about is the fact that my mom and her fiance didn’t give me the opportunity to find her a home with somebody we know. Twice. I made it very clear how I felt when we first got the dog… that we were making a commitment and couldn’t just give her away like every other dog. That I hated that growing up and we couldn’t do it to my younger brothers.
We made sure to get a hypoallergenic dog so that my mom wouldn’t have any issues in that regard. Still, they decided that my opinion or alternative solutions were not worth listening to. I’m so upset because finding a friend to take her in would achieve the same result she wants, but also allow everybody to see the dog which is what everybody else wants. It’s the best of both worlds and I’ve told her as much, but she does not want to hear it.
So now I’m stuck with two choices. I either come back home, and be pissed for a bit but move on. In doing so, I will save 1200 a month in rent and also maintain a decent relationship with my mom. However, I will be compromising my morals.
I can also come home, and immediately move out on my own to show her how easy it would have been for me to adopt the dog, just to spite her.
I am incredibly privileged to have a parent who wants me to stay at home and I am not trying to take that for granted. And I know that you are supposed to listen to your parents. We’ve had arguments before and I am used to bending over for whatever she wants.
For instance, on my 21st birthday I asked if she could push our dinner reservations back so I could see my aunt (from my dads side) who was visiting for the first time in a few years. My mom got pissed that I would even ask to reschedule when she put so much effort in so she cancelled the reservation. I didn’t go see my aunt because I felt bad that I made my mom feel bad and I instead cooked homemade pizza with everybody in our family except my mom. She didn’t come home that day and so I didn’t celebrate with her or my aunt, but with my brothers, moms fiance, and my stepsister.
Also, the year before she threw me a surprise birthday party 2 months after my birthday and asked me in front of my buddies she invited “are you surprised”. Like of course I’m surprised it’s nowhere near my birthday!!! I was grateful and all but she couldn’t fathom why I wouldn’t be ecstatic over it. It was super embarrassing to have her bring out a cake and ask my friends to sing happy birthday, but I know her heart was in the right place.
Anyways, The job I have is remote, so taking care of the dog wouldn’t be difficult. However, I would be significantly hurting my ability to save up money for a couple years after graduating college. My oldest brother still lives with her and has so much money saved up as a result. I really want to get a head start on savings but I also don’t think I can forgive my mom.
TLDR: I (22M) have always had a rocky relationship with my mom. After she gave away our dog twice without telling me, I’m torn between staying home to save money or moving out to stick to my principles.

It was only a little over a year after my onset. I was having a decently bad episode. It was bad enough for me to throw a brand new cell phone from my mom into the middle of a lake at a local park.
At this park, paramedics were having some sort of get together or a cookout or something. Of course, I thought they were there for me. I thought I could spend as much time at the park as I wanted but I had to leave in an ambulance(I was a revolving door patient by then).
After a bit I walked up to the paramedics and started talking to them about mind games and lawyers as I typically did during this time. I was pretty terrified. Two paramedics stopped their party to drive me to the hospital because my heart was doing 170 from panic. Here’s where the “kind therapy” comes in.
In this ambulance ride, the paramedics did no sort of traditional mental health therapy. That isn’t their job after all. However, they were some of the two nicest women I ever met. They smiled. They talked softly. They reassured me. They told me everything was going to be fine. I don’t remember all of the kind words because there were so many.
Let me tell you, I was half “cured” by the time I arrived at the hospital. It was that event that eventually taught me that the best thing you can do for a psychotic patient, even if they’re in outer space, is to be incredibly kind. Kindness is the best medicine they can receive.
I would say this is the origin story of how I came to believe that friend therapy is the best therapy. I hope this little story helps people help their psychotic friends.
Be kind!

I connected with a girl on a dating app last week, we met to have a drink as a first date in the evening after which we went back to her place - had an amazing connection, hooked up, got vulnerable and intimate in conversation. She asked if I’d like to stay the night - I did and we ended up hanging out together till the evening the next day - we hooked up a few more times, showered together, got brunch, etc etc - it all felt very intimate and genuine.
I was heading out of town in a couple days - she shared she was actively meeting people, had slept with someone else recently and we discussed that there were no rules until we discussed the next step in the dynamic. We continued to communicated a lot over the next 2-3 days via text and voice notes - expressing our yearning for each other, little memories from our time together and being vulnerable - she was going through something and I lent her emotional support.
We set up time to talk on the phone the next day, since we missed each other and check in on how we felt about us. She then sent me a voice message which started out with some dirty talk about stuff we did when we hung out and then said “Btw, I do want to let you know that I’m having a lover coming over tonight that I’m excited to meet. I know it’s a weird thing to say, but I’m just really craving intimacy and wanted to let you know because that makes me feel better and I don’t want to hide anything.”
It hurt to hear that - I was aware she could be meeting people but the explicit knowledge that she was having a lover over that night upset me. I spent the entire evening and night imagining them getting intimate at her place - all of this was 4 days since I had been there and it was all very fresh in my mind. I decided to take the time to process my emotions, sending her a short text saying I understand and I hope she has a great evening. That evening and night was quite painful for me.
I thought about it over the next couple days and as I processed it, I realized that I had lost all attraction towards her. She wasn’t wrong in meeting someone else, but was turned off by the fact that she explicitly told me when she was having a lover over and was excited to see them - to dump all that info on me without checking if I’d want to know. I also felt it was selfish behavior for watching out for her own guilt and letting me know “because it helped her feel better” without taking my feelings into consideration and how that message might make me feel. (I had noticed a pattern of selfishness the three times we had had sex where I sure she’d orgasm each time but she didn’t return the favor saying she was tired and I’d have to get myself off to finish).
As I processed it all, I realized all this just killed the spark, connection and intimacy for me - the next day, I sent her a text saying I wanted to be transparent with her and while she did no wrong, I didn’t appreciate her telling me the details of when she’d be meeting a lover without checking in with me, so soon after we spent time together - processing it all killed the intimacy I felt in our connection and I wasn’t comfortable continuing and moving forward - wished her well.
She responded saying she really just needed to be held by someone because of a stressful week and shared it with me because she felt it would bring us closer. She found it disappointing that I overlooked our emotional connection and hoped instead of ending things, I would let this open doors to more communication. There was no acknowledgment of my feelings or her actions (besides an “I’m sorry you felt that way” which I don’t consider taking accountability) - this just put me off even further.
I still feel I did the right thing by respecting my gut feelings, but am constantly hit by guilt of whether I overreacted and was immature in being put off by what she shared and her not taking any accountability. Am I overreacting?
TL;DR - Had a great first date with girl which went on for almost a whole day, agreed we weren’t exclusive yet - however I got turned off when she told me she was excited to have a lover over a few days later and I ended things. Am I overreacting?

This is a really personal story...and one that I'm ashamed of.
A couple of years ago I grew close with a coworker of mine who was in a long term relationship, and things headed south when we both developed feelings for one another. This was the first time someone ever loved me back (I've never also been in a relationship) but it was also crushing because I knew we couldn't be together. She quickly told her partner and her partner acknowledged we can remain friends if we were conscious about it.
I wanted to have a convo to talk about this because I wasn't sure I wanted to remain friends. We kept talking and tried putting up boundaries but nothing worked. Eventually we have this big convo due to an ultimatum placed on her and she chooses her partner over me and I initially end my connection with her, which caused her to react negatively and post on social media about how she's feeling.
Fast forward and we begin talking cordially but it develops again into something deeper and I make the poor decision to be "friends" again (which at this point was not friendship). Then, we become more physically and emotionally intimate. She hid the fact from her partner that she got closer to me when she was never to have any relationship with me and if she did her relationship was over, but expressed how much she needed me in terms of emotional support. I got duped into continuing this relationship.
While supporting each other and being shown more affection, I begin demanding to spend more time together. I grew addicted and attached to the love being shown for me as means of filling a void of loneliness I had in my life.
Then, things became sexual when her partner left to go home for the weekend. She expresses to me how she's feeling horny and then I get horny and she asks to call and then we end up having phone sex. Then, we show up to work and she coerces me to touch her in certain places and I did but felt kind of uncomfortable. Eventually this leads up to her breaking up with her partner, confessing what she did. Then out of nowhere she offered me to have sex with her. I should mention I'm a virgin and she had the intention of helping me lose my virginity, and I agreed, albeit a bit reluctant.
She pulls a 180, gets back with her partner after a day, rescinds the offer (which I don't care about), and then says we can no longer be intimate which did break my heart but traumatized me. I asked her if I can see her just to check up on her but she kept denying, and according to her that traumatized her. She pleaded that she wanted to go home to her partner and we agreed.
I don't speak with her for weeks until again she posts on social media about how broken she feels. Again, I reach out and we air our grievances but I still craved the emotional intimacy and was stupidly demanding that again. I accepted that things at this point were different but the way I acted was very immature and childish.
Finally I had the guts to cut her off completely because I no longer could fathom having her in my life. I value myself and I no longer wanted to play a role in ruining someone's relationship, even when she had no intention of wanting to stop talking to me.
Obviously I am a piece of shit for what I did and the label of a "homewrecker" is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I feel blacklisted and I feel like I have no chance of finding someone after this. It hurts and my career suffered because of what I chose to do (I left my job as a result). I feel broken because of all of it. But, I have no one but myself to blame for falling for things and entertaining this nonsense. And I live with the consequences and am continuing to go to therapy to be a better person.
What I've learned: don't entertain bullshit, stick to your guts, value yourself, and don't engage in anything malicuous to satisfy your own needs because none of it is justified and is not an excuse. Finally, I am NEVER getting close with someone who is in relationship ever again.
tl;dr - Became a homewrecker from coworker and I catching feelings for one another. I chose to entertain things only to fill my voids and things got more intimate and sexual to an extent until everything was confessed. I ruined my own life and am trying to work on being a better person and never allowing myself to let this happen again.

Hey guys I’m writing this to vent tbh. I’ve had it up to here with this dude.
I am in university and live in a dorm/university residence. I got a roommate this year. I didn’t have one for half the year last year (for whatever reason). Everything started out well until he asked me if he could have his girl over for the night. Like the naive fool I was, I said yes and honestly that’s when things turned a bit sour. I was so annoyed that night and following day. Annoyed more at myself for allowing that to happen.
This happened one last time as he said he and his girlfriend couldn’t book a place to sleep for the night. They were both drunk (weren’t bothersome at all though). I wanted badly to say no but understood that maybe SHE really had nowhere else to go. I said yes but before long, I told him this couldn’t go on any longer. He became very cold after I told him this. He would ignore me, wouldn’t greet me and would just be really tense towards me. I was absolutely furious because I had been so nice to him and accommodating only for him to use my kindness against me. It made me so so upset, which fuelled my hostility towards him.
Since then, we’ve been a bit better, although I do not want to be acquainted with him at all. Now, even his presence kind of ticks me off. Certain things he does sometimes irritate me. For example, he plays Tik Tok or instagram reels ALL DAY when he’s here. It’s gotten to a point where it’s honestly ridiculous. It’s not something I care about or that it bothers me but it’s like dude, get up and do something. I’ve never seen him study or wake up any time earlier than 11am. He only wakes up early to go to campus for mandatory lectures (which is rare) or write a test. Never studies for anything.
He’d also often play his music or movies too loud (which I had to tell him to stop doing. Fortunately, he was considerate enough to do that AT LEAST).
Even what he does in his leisure ticks me off. He drinks whenever he gets an opportunity. Every phone call he has with his friends, every conversation,they’re just planning on when to drink again. He smokes hookah or weed often too. That’s literally the only thing he and his friends discuss aside from women. Fortunately he never gets drunk or high here. He never bothers me with that stuff but it’s like dude is that all you do??
And onto the women. Look, I’m not judgemental but this dude….is a serial cheater. I wouldn’t bother telling his girlfriend cause it’s none of my business but he cheats on her with other women constantly. He lies to her and lies to the other women he’s cheating on her with. He’s proud of it too. His friends encourage this behaviour and he seems vindicated in his actions. It’s honestly sickening to hear him talk to all of these different women and his girlfriend everyday, lying to all of them.
I only discuss this part because I’m in a committed relationship and I would never even think or consider stepping out even when I don’t see my girlfriend often. It disgusts me that the very thing I’m fighting against he does so causally and without remorse. It seems his whole life revolves around getting drunk, high and sleeping with women.
I’m writing this because ever since I told this dude he can’t invite his girl overnight, things haven’t been the same. I feel like he abused my kindness and hospitality and it’s made me critique every little thing about him that’s made me feel repulsed by him which I don’t want to feel. This is a human being with faults just like me but everything about him just irks me. I want to know how to move forward and would like to hear your thoughts guys. This guy isn’t the worst roommate ever but everything about him since that day onwards has been hard to ignore.

Hey guys I’m writing this to vent tbh. I’ve had it up to here with this dude.
I am in university and live in a dorm/university residence. I got a roommate this year. I didn’t have one for half the year last year (for whatever reason). Everything started out well until he asked me if he could have his girl over for the night. Like the naive fool I was, I said yes and honestly that’s when things turned a bit sour. I was so annoyed that night and following day. Annoyed more at myself for allowing that to happen.
This happened one last time as he said he and his girlfriend couldn’t book a place to sleep for the night. They were both drunk (weren’t bothersome at all though). I wanted badly to say no but understood that maybe SHE really had nowhere else to go. I said yes but before long, I told him this couldn’t go on any longer. He became very cold after I told him this. He would ignore me, wouldn’t greet me and would just be really tense towards me. I was absolutely furious because I had been so nice to him and accommodating only for him to use my kindness against me. It made me so so upset, which fuelled my hostility towards him.
Since then, we’ve been a bit better, although I do not want to be acquainted with him at all. Now, even his presence kind of ticks me off. Certain things he does sometimes irritate me. For example, he plays Tik Tok or instagram reels ALL DAY when he’s here. It’s gotten to a point where it’s honestly ridiculous. It’s not something I care about or that it bothers me but it’s like dude, get up and do something. I’ve never seen him study or wake up any time earlier than 11am. He only wakes up early to go to campus for mandatory lectures (which is rare) or write a test. Never studies for anything.
He’d also often play his music or movies too loud (which I had to tell him to stop doing. Fortunately, he was considerate enough to do that AT LEAST).
Even what he does in his leisure ticks me off. He drinks whenever he gets an opportunity. Every phone call he has with his friends, every conversation,they’re just planning on when to drink again. He smokes hookah or weed often too. That’s literally the only thing he and his friends discuss aside from women. Fortunately he never gets drunk or high here. He never bothers me with that stuff but it’s like dude is that all you do??
And onto the women. Look, I’m not judgemental but this dude….is a serial cheater. I wouldn’t bother telling his girlfriend cause it’s none of my business but he cheats on her with other women constantly. He lies to her and lies to the other women he’s cheating on her with. He’s proud of it too. His friends encourage this behaviour and he seems vindicated in his actions. It’s honestly sickening to hear him talk to all of these different women and his girlfriend everyday, lying to all of them.
I only discuss this part because I’m in a committed relationship and I would never even think or consider stepping out even when I don’t see my girlfriend often. It disgusts me that the very thing I’m fighting against he does so causally and without remorse. It seems his whole life revolves around getting drunk, high and sleeping with women.
I’m writing this because ever since I told this dude he can’t invite his girl overnight, things haven’t been the same. I feel like he abused my kindness and hospitality and it’s made me critique every little thing about him that’s made me feel repulsed by him which I don’t want to feel. This is a human being with faults just like me but everything about him just irks me. I want to know how to move forward and would like to hear your thoughts guys. This guy isn’t the worst roommate ever but everything about him since that day onwards has been hard to ignore.

I 38(F) have a younger brother 33(M) who has been living on my parents property in an addition that was added on that they were going to use as a rental unit. He currently has been there for almost 10 years and is showing no sign of moving out especially in this current climate. My parents charge him $350 per month and he pays their cell phone bill and that’s it. He has used this time purchase car after car it has gotten to the place where he can’t get approved for a car because of unable to put a down payment a poor credit. He blows all his money from his job on God only knows what and again showing no signs of leaving. So long story short, I have a little brother who was about to start driving soon and so I just bought him a cash car as birthday present but had not given it to him yet and my 33 year old brother asked if he could use it until he could get another car. After much deliberation I have allowed him to use the car now and it’s been a year. The agreement was he pay $250 per month and that would cover insurance and a small fee to use the car. He is now saying he shouldn’t have to pay anything if I’m doing him a favor until he can get his own ride. I told him if he no longer feels like our original deal is serving him he could park the car in my driveway and figure his own life out. Am I wrong?

Hey guys I’m writing this to vent tbh. I’ve had it up to here with this dude.
I am in university and live in a dorm/university residence. I got a roommate this year. I didn’t have one for half the year last year (for whatever reason). Everything started out well until he asked me if he could have his girl over for the night. Like the naive fool I was, I said yes and honestly that’s when things turned a bit sour. I was so annoyed that night and following day. Annoyed more at myself for allowing that to happen.
This happened one last time as he said he and his girlfriend couldn’t book a place to sleep for the night. They were both drunk (weren’t bothersome at all though). I wanted badly to say no but understood that maybe SHE really had nowhere else to go. I said yes but before long, I told him this couldn’t go on any longer. He became very cold after I told him this. He would ignore me, wouldn’t greet me and would just be really tense towards me. I was absolutely furious because I had been so nice to him and accommodating only for him to use my kindness against me. It made me so so upset, which fuelled my hostility towards him.
Since then, we’ve been a bit better, although I do not want to be acquainted with him at all. Now, even his presence kind of ticks me off. Certain things he does sometimes irritate me. For example, he plays Tik Tok or instagram reels ALL DAY when he’s here. It’s gotten to a point where it’s honestly ridiculous. It’s not something I care about or that it bothers me but it’s like dude, get up and do something. I’ve never seen him study or wake up any time earlier than 11am. He only wakes up early to go to campus for mandatory lectures (which is rare) or write a test. Never studies for anything.
He’d also often play his music or movies too loud (which I had to tell him to stop doing. Fortunately, he was considerate enough to do that AT LEAST).
Even what he does in his leisure ticks me off. He drinks whenever he gets an opportunity. Every phone call he has with his friends, every conversation,they’re just planning on when to drink again. He smokes hookah or weed often too. That’s literally the only thing he and his friends discuss aside from women. Fortunately he never gets drunk or high here. He never bothers me with that stuff but it’s like dude is that all you do??
And onto the women. Look, I’m not judgemental but this dude….is a serial cheater. I wouldn’t bother telling his girlfriend cause it’s none of my business but he cheats on her with other women constantly. He lies to her and lies to the other women he’s cheating on her with. He’s proud of it too. His friends encourage this behaviour and he seems vindicated in his actions. It’s honestly sickening to hear him talk to all of these different women and his girlfriend everyday, lying to all of them.
I only discuss this part because I’m in a committed relationship and I would never even think or consider stepping out even when I don’t see my girlfriend often. It disgusts me that the very thing I’m fighting against he does so causally and without remorse. It seems his whole life revolves around getting drunk, high and sleeping with women.
I’m writing this because ever since I told this dude he can’t invite his girl overnight, things haven’t been the same. I feel like he abused my kindness and hospitality and it’s made me critique every little thing about him that’s made me feel repulsed by him which I don’t want to feel. This is a human being with faults just like me but everything about him just irks me. I want to know how to move forward and would like to hear your thoughts guys. This guy isn’t the worst roommate ever but everything about him since that day onwards has been hard to ignore.

Wanted to share my experience with BetterHelp for anyone who is thinking about using their service.
BetterHelp is to mental health what McDonald's is to nutrition. It offers a relatively cheap, quick alternative for people seeking therapy who may not have access or time for traditional methods. It is like putting a band-aid on huge wound that is the mental health crisis in the United States, where millions of people cannot adequately access therapists and psychiatrists either due to insurance problems or a literal lack of professionals in their area. Rather than solving a massive problem, BetterHelp is taking advantage of people who deserve proper treatment.
Personally I tried for months to access a therapist through my insurance (Kaiser). Just getting through to a person and then finally past the initial stigma of being questioned over "Why do you need therapy?" they finally told me it would be a three month wait just for an intake appointment and the office would be 1.5 hours away from my home. So I thought instead I would try BetterHelp which is advertised EVERYWHERE.
My experience was horrible. I initially selected a therapist and began messaging with them in our initial contact. I wanted to get right to the point so I began sharing some very difficult information about my life. Right away this therapist surprised me by stating they would be leaving on a 3 week vacation and wouldn't be able to do video conversations until then. Of course, my billing through BetterHelp wouldn't pause. Since I had just started using the service, I politely told them I would be selecting another therapist that was available. They never even responded back.
I matched with another therapist and starting messaging with them like before. We were scheduled for weekly, 1 hour video talks. It was a bit off putting that I would write a couple paragraphs about my life and they might reply with only a simply sentence. I didn't want to overload a person with information so I was greatly looking forward to our video conversations. When our appointment came up, I took time off work and made sure I was home and free to talk to them. When I tried to connect on the app, there was no response. I tried messaging them and no response.
Later that day they messaged me back and said that they accidently missed the appointment and were sorry, that we would talk during the next scheduled appointment. At this point I had been paying for BetterHelp for over 2 weeks and not talked to a real person other than receiving a few text replies like "how did that make you feel?" etc. I continued messaging with my therapist and receiving these type of replies. I would tell them about something horrible that had happened to me such as losing a family member and they would provide a canned response like "Do you still think about this often?". For all I know I could have been chatting with an AI. Finally the third week came and I looked forward to my FIRST video chat with an actual person. I felt like this was "meeting" my therapist for the first time. When the time for the appointment came up, my therapist messaged me beforehand telling me they would have to reschedule our appointment for the next week because something had come up.
So now, 3 weeks and $300 later I had still not had a video or phone chat with a real therapist. During this time I had literally only received less than a dozen sentences in text responses from these professionals. I contacted BetterHelp's support team and asked for a refund. They refused and told me the best they could do was offer 1 free week of service going forward. After seeing what a week of their service was worth, I gave up. I never heard back from my therapist. I cancelled my service and of course received pre-programmed emails from BetterHelp's customer service asking "How was your conversation with -?" and of course after answering that it was unsatisfactory, I never received any follow up from anyone.
BetterHelp doesn't care how their service is helping you beyond how it affects their repeat visits. I tried them for almost a month, barely was able to talk to anyone and it didn't matter. I wasn't a client for them. I wasn't a real person. I was just a statistic on their app, adding to their revenue stream. I have since found out that like traditional in-person therapy, many of these professionals are overburdened with clients and take on more than they can really give their attention to. It is hard to describe how difficult it is to try to open up to someone about very painful parts of your life only to be shuffled by a system that can't bother to fit you into the schedule.
I have a friend who is a licensed therapist and registered nurse. He works through BetterHelp and his own private practice office. While I think he is a great guy and really cares about his patients (He left working in an ER to focus on a speciality type of therapy) it is concerning that he started taking BetterHelp clients on top of his already full, in-person, client list at his office. I know his schedule and don't understand how someone who was previously working 8-10 hours a day at his office can conceivably take more clients virtually - except that these virtual clients become back-burner income for his office which can be placated with basic responses and predetermined messages. These messages can be literally copy-pasted but as long as they meet the criteria of the app, they get paid and the client gets charged.
Many of the therapists on BetterHelp already have a full load of in-person clients. The patients on BetterHelp are not getting the kind of attention they need and deserve. BetterHelp basically becomes a gig job for therapists, like Uber or Grubhub, which they can use to supplement their income. This is problematic because it incentivises taking more clients than normal and completing a virtual checklist rather than connecting in a real way with a person to provide mental health care. BetterHelp effectively creates a game for therapists where they click the right buttons and get paid whether the client was helped or not. At least with real, in-person visits a therapist has to look a person in the eyes and come up with a response.
I just want people to take a look and realize that apps like BetterHelp are not the answer to the mental health problems we have. This is the illusion of a solution which reduces people to a number's game while tech-bros get rich off your pain and anguish. On top of all this, they share your information with third party marketing. The FTC says "From 2013 to December 2020... BetterHelp continually broke these privacy promises, monetizing consumers’ health information to target them and others with advertisements for the Service." In short, they are out to make money off the hardest parts of your life, not help you.

So bf(24) and me f(22) have been together for 4 years. Let me just preface that this is my first real relationship. He stated when we first got together that he watched porn and I told him I wasn’t too comfortable with it and he said he wouldn’t. Fast forward to a few months before our 4 year anniversary, he admitted to me he has watched porn and masturbated multiple times throughout our relationship and that he’s addicted to porn but wants to stop. I responded calmly and wasn’t at first mad because I never told him not to since I never knew how I felt about (my first relationship) but now I know I dislike it and don’t want him to continue watching. I understand porn is fake, but it’s still the fact he’s filling his head with all these bodies of naked women and their actions, that I cannot compete with. I am completely fine with him masturbating, he even has stuff on his phone of me to watch, but he chooses porn.
Since the night of him telling me of his addiction we’ve been okay, but than I had a gut feeling and did the bad thing of checking his phone and I was right, hundreds of images and videos of porn. I was hurt and confronted him and he instantly lied even when I said I had proof, and than finally caved and apologized, promised he wouldn’t do it again and he would get help. Then he does it again within the same month, confront him again and does the same thing of lying, and he lied so much so that I almost believed him till we got home and he admitted. Than does the same thing of telling me he knows how much it hurts me and feels guilty every time. That he would sell his computer if he did it again. I told him I couldn’t handle the heartbreak again if he did it again. And at this point my trust has pretty much left, my heart shattered and nearly unrepairable. He was on a good streak but I caught him again. This time the morning of our 4-year anniversary date. Then repeats the same of lying about it and then revealing it to be true and swearing he’s trying to stop.
I don’t know what to do, I understand porn being used as a visual, but if you have visuals of me doing the same exact stuff how can he justify it. How can he justify his lying to me, constantly. I’m hurt and lost and don’t know if I should break up or just get over it. He’s told me over and over I keep giving him chances and he doesn’t deserve me. I also understand I’m heavier weight and that makes me think that’s an issue too. He swears it’s not. I feel like I can’t trust him anymore after all the lying. And even now when we have intimate moments I can’t finish, and find no pleasure in it anymore. I basically either feel numb all day or I’m sobbing. My heart feels shattered beyond repair but idk if I’m just blinded by hopeful love or I need to get out and find myself again.
What should I do?
TL;DR Boyfriend with porn addiction lies multiples times about watching porn when caught, and he knows I’m not okay with it. He says he’ll get help and stop but hasn’t done so yet. Should I break up with him?

I'm going through a divorce that's been in process for three years. She cheated on me and got pregnant by another man, then when we were mid-process she got pregnant again and delayed the process again. We have already done a paternity test for both and determined I'm not the father. My wife has an expensive car and two accidents. I've been paying about $450 a month for her insurance (for a 2023 BMW), and her cell phone (an expensive $120 Verizon plan). I'm tired of paying this but my lawyer (who I'm $12k in the hole with) keeps telling me I'd be held in contempt of court. I'm honestly not even sure what that means.
My STBX has been stalling the process repeatedly with her lawyer. They are really unresponsive and cause a lot of problems and have caused the process to be delayed multiple times. During mediation she actually lied about her finances (she was hiding a significant sum of money).
Objective facts about my case:

• She cheated many times
• She got pregnant by two different men (confirmed not mine both times)
• She hid money and assets from me
• She has not been paying her rent since she moved out and is trying to shift the collections to my name (I have nothing to do with the address)

I'm just wondering if, at the least, I can stop paying nearly $600 a month for her insurance and phone? I'm not sure if I'd actually be held in contempt of court and I feel like I'm at a sunk cost with my lawyer (who I don't think is very good since I'm still not divorced now 3 years later). Would there likely be consequences if I do this? I'm not even sure why I have to pay it. She has also had a wreck since we separated and her insurance cost has increased significantly.

I never though I would be writing a post on here but here I am, asking for advice.
I guess I should start off with how the relationship started and how it's been for first 7-8 months.
We started seeing each other last Summer after her graduation. We had originally met in grad school, we had a Zoom class together and we met in person for the first time during our internships. I immediately got a crush on her, and tried to just say Hi to her whenever I got the chance. I saw her as someone way out of my league, and was nervous to talk to her.
Flash forward to last April, we match on Tinder and we really hit it off quite fast. I was still nervous about the whole thing, thinking she wouldn't be into me. I eventually got the guts to ask her out, and we finally went out almost exactly a year ago. I was worried the date would be awkward and she wouldn't like me, at this time I also hadn't been out with anyone else in years, I had gotten out of a very long term relationship previously and hadn't met anyone new yet.
It was honestly the best first date I could have hoped for, better than I could have hoped for. Since the moment of picking her up to dropping her back off, we were talking non stop. We got to know so much about each other that night and I fell for her almost immediately. We almost kept the workers at the restaurant late, we didn't realize an hour had gone by after we finished eating. We just sat there talking. Then we went to karaoke night at a bar, we didn't do karaoke as we're both very shy in front of crowds. Overall it was literally the best night I had in a very long time.
After our 3rd time going out, I thought I would ask her out properly, and see if she would like to be a couple. I did, but she said it was too early for her to start a relationship as she had gotten out of one 2 months prior. But that she enjoys our time together and just needed some time before going into a new relationship. Which was fine, I wanted to respect her space and gave her the time she needed. We still saw each other multiple times throughout the Summer. I went over to her place late at night quite often to watch movies until 3 or 4am.
During this time, I of course still had huge crush on her. I also drove by her work when I got the chance to drop off coffee. If she texted to ask if I wanted to watch a movie, I would drop everything I was doing. I just wanted to spend as much time as I could with her. Because I also knew that she was moving away, just two hours away from where we both were, but that was still pretty far and I thought the distance would ruin any chance. It also didn't help that I was also moving out of state, 10 hours away from her. I was willing to do anything to make long distance work. I just needed to ask her again.
Before I actually asked her if she wanted to be in a relationship together, we finally had our first kiss while watching a movie, and that whole week we basically acted like a couple, but hadn't made it official yet. I told her my feelings, and she told me hers. Turns out she was very into me as well. I asked her if she was sure, since we were both moving far apart. We agreed that we could make it work. We had gotten along so well over the last 2 months. We like all the same stuff, music, tv, movies, games, etc. It felt like she was the person I was missing in my life for so long. Literally my second half.
She moved before I did, but I drove to her every weekend before I moved. And I always stayed from Friday to Monday. I helped her explore her new city, and move all of her stuff over. I fell for her more and more every day. After I made my move, we agreed to call each other every other night, to play games together or to watch a show or movie. It was hard, but we managed to do it. The roughest parts were having to deal with no phone service up there, or very little access to internet. But we made it, and she even drove all the way up to see me for one weekend. Which meant so much to me.
Over the next few months, I had started to struggle at my new place and in the position I was in in my career. I also managed to make time to see her once, sometimes twice a month. My drives would last 10-12 hours depending on traffic, but it was always worth it just to be able to see her.
I eventually left my position, due to very poor management, and for it being a nearly abusive situation. So in December I packed everything up and moved back home. Here's another important detail. My position was to be just for a year, which is one of the reasons we worked so hard to make long distance work. As we knew eventually we'd be close again. Our original plan was this. I'd move and work for a year, and when I come back we would look for a place together and hopefully move in. A this point, marriage had been brought up. We both knew we love each other so much, and that marriage was in our future.
I guess I should clear up what I do. I'm an artist, and the last few years have been spent with me participating in artist residencies. These vary in length, but the one I moved for was a year. I had hoped that I could gain experience in my field, in a proper studio setting, and develop my work further with the studio access I would have. It's specifically in ceramics. This was my first residency that was long term. In the past the max was 2 weeks. As a ceramic artist, woodfired ceramics is my thing.
Anyways, I moved back. Everything went back to the way it was before I moved. We alternated who drives to who on the weekends. We spent the entire week of Christmas/new years together. Before that on my visits, she was able to meet my family and friends. Everyone points out how well she and I get along, and that we're such a great match.
Starting in January, I was back in the mood to work on ceramics related projects. I had managed to get into some woodfirings, which for those unfamiliar, they're not very common. It's also a very demanding type of firing as we're stoking the kiln with wood constantly. These can be anywhere from 12 hours, to 100 hours straight. during this time I had also started working for my family's business again.
During January and February I was in my home studio constantly making work, often well into the night. Some deadlines started coming up, and as they got closer I was rushing as much as I could, and making as much work as I could. But it hadn't affected my life much, yet. Everything had still went well, and we were still calling each other at least twice a week, and seeing each other every weekend. Every other Sunday was D&D night with my friends, which she joined into as well. Everything was still going great.
March is when I think everything started going downhill. Besides the fact that I had a ceramics conference coming up, and that was a ton of pressure. I also had the biggest firing of the year happening 2 weeks after the conference, and I was one of the key leaders necessary to make the firing happen. There was tons and tons of pressure on me in March/April. I had to rush work for the conference AND the firings. And the previous firings I had earlier in the year turned out to not be very great, and left me very disappointed. But the biggest firing of the year was happening, and I need work. Because I had also been considering applying to another residency, I was so screwed over by the last place, that I wanted one more shot. It also didn't help that I also started up a Minecraft community my friends and I ran, but one that I mostly ran. I didn't realize how much time that took up either.
The conference went well, she went with me and she got to meet all of my ceramic friends, and we had our first road trip. the conference was a 12 hour drive for us. As soon as I got back from the conference, I knew I had to rush a lot of work and start prepping out at the kiln. I still set aside the weekends to see her, but I was just so busy during the week not just with the kiln, but also working for my family. I shifted my free time to playing Minecraft, as it's always been a comfort game for me since I was in high school. Some days I'd be so exhausted I didn't want to do anything else but just place blocks mindlessly for a few hours. At the conference, I met lots of people, and the hype from it all made me want to reapply to a residency. I had brought up that I was thinking about reapplying, and it felt like she was supportive of that decision. She was very aware of everything that happened at the last place.
the week of the firing I needed to be there as much as I could, I did 12 - 16 hour shifts on the kiln at a time, and I did overnight shifts. This meant for the whole week, she would work all day while I slept, and then I went and worked all night while she slept. I didn't realize how much this would affect her. I don't even think we saw each other that weekend, we waited until the next so she could come unload the kiln. That was the first time we spend more than a week without each other since I moved back.
I wanted to try another residency, and the deadline for the only place I was interested in was a few days after we finished firing. So I took that weekend to write out my application and send it in.
When we finally unloaded the kiln, it really really, really, disappointed me. So much time in the studio, so much time making work and starting over, so much time spent working on firing the kiln. Everything went wrong, and 90% of work I made was ruined. It really hit me hard, but I didn't want to show it. It affected me mentally and emotionally more than I thought it could. I kind of shut down for a bit. I went back to work, and when I came home in the afternoons I didn't do much, I just stayed in bed. On my off days during the week, I'd spent most of the day in bed. Barely talking to anyone. It just really sucked. So much. It sucked because I had hyped this up to everyone. I hyped myself up. I posted about it every day promising to update my followers on social media. I put in SO MANY hours into this. Just for almost all of my hard work to be ruined.
I didn't talk about how I felt. I didn't talk much.
I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to make excuses. I just shut down for a bit, and I didn't realize how much that would affect her. I had noticed since march, and especially in April we hadn't talked much during the week anymore. Maybe once a week we called to play something, or watch something. I was busy, and she was busy and going through her own struggles. She's a middle school teacher, and she's really been struggling the whole year in her position. I was always there to comfort her, and to be someone to listen to her about everything that's been going on. But all of that time just focusing on my work put a lot of strain on our relationship. You'd think that after the firing was over, I'd be free again and have time. But I was so disappointed I spent the whole week after making work again and rushing again, since I had a market to do, and I needed work to sell. the sale also wasn't great, and all of that just really hurt me. I didn't want her to worry about me. So I kept a lot of my thoughts to myself, of how I was feeling about the firing, and in general the career I've been trying to build in ceramics.
Me focusing on my work, and only my work, really really affected our relationship more than I ever though it would. And it was never intentional. And the rest of April/beginning of May was just rough. We saw each other maybe one day a week, or not at all, one day it was just for a few hours, since we had other things to do on the weekends. The market was out of state, and she wasn't able to go with me due to her work. I also realized I wouldn't get the residency, which was honestly kind of a relief.
Two weeks ago, I felt as everything finally cleared and I was starting to feel better. I went to see her on a Sunday, and I had taken a few days off so I could stay at her place until Wednesday. We hadn't had time together for more than a day in a really long time. So this was time to make up for some of it. Something had felt off that day though. I wasn't sure what it was, but I started to get worried. We would often tell each other "I love you" followed by "you promise, you swear?" It was always playful, while also being a little bit of a reassurance. I asked her that day, and it felt mostly normal. Later that nigh while getting ready for bed, she was just looking at me, and I asked "What's wrong"
This is when everything came out. She said she was afraid that we wouldn't make it. And then said that over the last 2 months, she felt pushed away and like she wasn't a priority to me. That it hurt that I applied to a residency without talking to her about it first, especially since our original plan was to move in together. I thought, we were on the same page on that. She seemed supportive, but we never had a real conversation about it. It was, "hey I applied for this thing" and "I hope you get it, you really deserve another chance!" She even looked for teaching jobs in the area I would move to, if I did get the residency.
Since that firing I wasn't there for her. I didn't tell her about my days where I just wanted to rot in bed. Some days I didn't now what to talk about. I felt borderline depressed. And I didn't talk, or talk about it, or talk to her much. I kept looking forward to the days when we would see each other on the weekends, but other things got in the way most times, and we didn't have the regular amount of time we had gotten used to. In person when we did see each other, things felt normal. I guess the weekdays after work are when she needed me the most, while I either stayed in bed all day, or got on Minecraft to mindlessly place blocks. Sometimes I didn't even do anything productive in game, I just ran around. I was sad. I just didn't want her to see me like that.
It sucks that I noticed too late. I knew we hadn't been able to have a lot of time together. I had planned to finally dedicate a few days together like before, and I brought over some board games so we could have stuff to do together. I knew that we would have to talk about moving in and planning out the rest of the summer.
The time apart, and the time of me not talking much really hurt her so much. I feel so terrible about it. Like I said it was never intentional. She said that her days for the last month were just going to work and coming home, hoping she would get a chance to talk to me. She said that night, that she doesn't know if she feels the same way about me anymore. She felt pushed away so much, and felt like she's already mourned the relationship. And she said it wasn't just that, that's made her afraid about our relationship. She's having trouble finding a new job, and her lease is up at the end of June, and she can't look for a new place, until she gets a new job. She's been applying for a lot of jobs closer to my area. But she also doesn't know if she needs to move back to her parents to take care of them, as they're not doing well either. And they live on the opposite side of the state. She has a lot of pressure on her right now and is very overwhelmed by everything going on, and all the decisions she's having to make in such short notice.
That night I, possibly stupidly, asked her if she wanted me to leave, after she said maybe she just needs some time and space. I say stupidly, because after I got home I felt like leaving wasn't the right decision. Before I left though, I told her everything. About how I had been feeling, and how I don't even know if I want to do a residency anymore. But she told me not to say that because of her. Of course not doing it would mean I get to stay with her, but I assured her this is something that's been on my mind. I told her that maybe we're just having a rough patch in the relationship and we should work together on it, and apologized for not being there for her. She said that with everything else going on with her, her parents, her work, her lease, everything, she needs some time to think about our relationship.
Since that night, I've been doing everything to assure her that she IS my priority and trying to prove to her that I do care and love her very much. I've been trying so hard to put myself back together, and just been reflecting on everything that's happened since we met. And thinking about the future, and trying to plan things out.
I wrote her a 6 page letter explaining all my feelings and how I felt about her, and reminding her of all the absolutely great times we had together. As well as highlighting my mistakes, and promising to never make her feel pushed away again.
She came over last weekend, I assume originally to return my stuff and call it off. It was different, there was a big elephant in the room, and I finally asked her how she's felt. And she says she still doesn't know. She had some time to think about everything, but doesn't know what she wants to do. We agreed that she would need some more time. We ended up going out for food and a movie, and she stayed the night. Though, opposite sides of the bed, and no kind of intimacy. Which is fine, she needs the space. She read the letter, and said it was very sweet and wished I put that much effort over the last two months. and I just said "I do too"
She came back this weekend, and stayed again. It almost felt back to normal. We spent Saturday and Sunday together, we went out, went shopping, went to one of our favorite restaurants, and another movie. I didn't bring anything up because I didn't want to ruin what felt like a regular weekend with her again. But before she left I just felt like I need to ask how she had been feeling. She said that she came over because she was wanting to feel it out, see how we would do together. And that she had fun with me.
She just still doesn't know if she feels the same way anymore. But that there's something keeping her from saying she wants to break up. She said that she still likes me a lot, and doesn't want to lose contact with me, and that she doesn't want to never see me again. That maybe, she just needs to settle down with her job, parents, and moving. I asked a question, I said "This might be a dumb question, but did we break up?" She said she doesn't know. We kept talking about stuff, and we came down to we didn't break up, but she still needs some time to get everything sorted out. Because, like I said, she's very overwhelmed with a ton of stuff. She still doesn't know where she's gonna move to, if she's gonna be able to move. But she said that she and I make a really good match, that we're best friends.
She's coming back over on Friday, and Saturday we're gonna spend the day looking at some apartments, in the general area where she's looking for a job.
I just don't know what else I can do. And I'm desperate for any advice anyone has to offer.
Here are my thoughts on from my side.
I know I can say she's my priority all I want, but I really need to show it. I've been more active in showing her that. Everything else aside, the last two weeks we've been talking more than we have been in a while. We still call to watch shows. We've been on Survivor, 90 Day Fiance, and Sopranos. I haven't suggested 90 Day lately though given the situation. She's gonna get Stardew soon, and we'll start playing together hopefully this week. Yesterday we started Shogun. I know that the last two weeks isn't going to magically fix all of our problems. I'm very aware of that. But I'm trying to show her she IS my priority.
Career wise, I've reflected a lot on this. I need to use my teaching degree, and get a job as a teacher. It's still my plan to be an artist/teacher. Part of the reason I wanted so badly to do a residency, besides having a studio, I thought it would help a lot on a resume. Plus more actual studio experience, felt like it would be great for my future students. It's always been my plan to teach. If I don't use my teaching certification for 3 years, I have to renew, which I've heard is a pain and expensive. this was my last year before I have to renew, so I felt I could get a residency out of the way before going into teaching full time.
But I'm 100% okay with not getting to do that. Like I said previously, I was honestly a little relieved when I realized it wasn't happening. I'm starting to look for job openings in the area, and I have an interview to be an instructor at a local studio tomorrow. Besides that I have no set in stone plans for a job and where I'm living. Since leaving the residency in December, I've had to move into my parents for the time being. I think no matter what I need to start looking for a new place soon. I hadn't looked before, because I was thinking I'd either move out of state again or move in with her.
If she were up for it after all of this, assuming it goes well, I'd move in with her anywhere she ends up moving to. I half jokingly said that if she has to stay in her current job, and city, that I looked into it and there's a place there I could potentially teach at as well. But she said she doesn't want to feel like she's making me uproot my life for her. But I would have anyways if things went well this whole time. And that if she moves back in with her parents, there's another place up there I could work out of.
Again, I know stuff like that isn't going to magically fix everything. If I said hey let's move in, I know that's not the solution. But I'm not saying let's move in, in hopes that it fixes everything.
She feels like I would be giving things up to be with her. I just don't know how to assure her that it's not me "giving things up" If we were to be together for sure, I would be more than happy to do what it takes to be with her. How to I assure her that "giving things up" isn't a bad thing. I feel like she feels that me staying with her, is the bad option. I also feel like she's afraid that I'd make her feel pushed away again. She asked what happens during the firing next year, and I gonna ignore her again? I assured her I wouldn't, and that I'm over woodfiring a bit. This year was just really rough in terms of my work being woodfired. Just disappointment after disappointment. I've also learned that my professor, who runs the firing, has been cutting off a lot of our regular shift leaders lately. He kept saying that they really needed me this year. I felt bad about our key people missing out, and felt pressure to work as much as I can do make it happen. Which is why I did up to 16 hours a night on the kiln, and spent so much time prepping it the week before, as well as all the pressure of having to rush work. After hearing everything that's going on, I feel almost taken advantage on with this whole situation. Since the firing I've learned about all the people he cut off, and accusations he's made about people.
Also, sorry about such a long post. I wanted to be as detailed as I can, so people don't get the wrong idea about things. I've tried to keep everything clear, while still leaving very personal details to a minimum.
I really thought she was the one, since day one we've gotten along so well. We quickly became each other's best friends. She's my best friend and my favorite person. It's really scary, the thought of losing her. But I hurt her so much, and I didn't even realize it until it was too late, and I feel so terrible about it. There's a part of me that's cautiously optimistic. If we break up what if we never talk again? She's become so ingrained into my life, it's scary to think one day I'll go a whole day without talking to her. I know she's really thinking about it, and taking her time. Instead of jut saying that. I'm very aware of my mistakes, and that I should have done things differently. I'm trying my hardest to make up for it. I know that it'll take some time, it's not something that'll be instantly fixed.
I just don't know what else to do, if I should just keep going the way things are right now, who to talk to about all of this. I just need any kind of advice and/or reassurance. She said that in the worst case scenario, we're just best friends, and she doesn't want us to stop hanging out at all or lose contact. Because we make such a good match.

Before anyone shits on me, I’ve learned a lot from this relationship. I’m just stuck.
So, some backstory. My boyfriend, Dylan (25M) and I (23F) started out as friends with benefits in July 2022. We met on Tinder. He was 3 months sober from meth addiction, I had never been involved with an addict before, so I wasn’t familiar with addict mentality. He was also getting over a very abusive relationship where the girl, Rebecca (25F) ended up pregnant and later on engaged to her dead ex boyfriend’s brother. She didn’t know if it was Dylan’s baby or not, that was back in December 2021. She never got a paternity test. I also had another guy reach out to me who had been involved with Rebecca during the timeframe that she ended up pregnant, so there are 3 people whose baby it could possibly be?
Now, onto my part of the story: I wasn’t raised on love. I don’t know what love is. I’ve made some horrible decisions for myself here and I know that. I’ve come here for advice, not to be judged.
Dylan and I became inseparable in August 2022, we were sleeping in the same bed every night. We weren’t exclusive, but anytime I talked to other people or acted single, he would become insanely jealous and possessive or act like he didn’t care about me at all. It was 2 extremes, one or the other, no in between. All the while, he was consistently entertaining other people. He would swipe on Tinder while I was sleeping next to him. This went on for a few months. One night, we decided to do molly with some of our friends. That night, he told me he was in love with me. I should’ve known it was the drugs talking, but I was naive and wanted to believe him. That same night, he had texted her, “hey” and she never responded. I confronted him the next morning, asking him why he texted her. He said “you don’t have to worry about her, she has a whole baby daddy and kid to worry about” and that was that. She wasn’t brought up again.
Fast forward October 2024, over two years later, our relationship is thriving, or so I thought. My birthday had just passed a few days prior, and we were sitting at his parents house for Sunday dinner. He showed me a tik tok, and he had a message in his inbox. I said “oh? Who do you have a message from?” I said this jokingly, I had never had any previous suspicions of him cheating. He ripped his phone out of my hands and immediately asked to leave. It made for a very awkward car ride where he told me that Rebecca had messaged him but he hadn’t responded or anything. When we got home, I asked to see his phone and went to his recently deleted messages. They had been texting for 2 1/2 months. For my birthday and everything.
Finding this out completely shattered and broke me. I broke up with him for 6 months and ended up getting back together with him. I’m struggling so badly with knowing he keeps going back to this girl. He keeps telling me that he confidently knows he won’t text her again and he’s going to keep her blocked, but I just don’t believe him and I don’t know what to do. I really love him and we’ve been through so much together. But he’s able to manipulate me so well. I feel so trapped.

I recently had something happen with a friend. We’ve know each other about two years . I care about him a lot and I have liked hanging out with him. At my age mid 50s making new friends isn’t easy. It’s been nice to have someone to go and do things with. Bike rides , walks, photo shoots. Things my husband doesn’t enjoy. It is my self care and I’ve lost weight and feel more healthy having someone to exercise with. We do Yoga every week at my house and have dinner after with my husband. We’ve done this for more then a year.
My friend is a photographer. He had a show and had a photo up of a mutual friends adult child. It is a very cool photo and I was super exited to see he had it blown up and framed. I didn’t notice he had a price on it. When my husband brought it up all I said was “It’s his work and his talent that got the shot” “He owns the photos” I saw nothing wrong with it being for sale. The kid in the photo is over 18 and you can’t see his full face. We didn’t talk about it again.
Fast forward to the following week. Photographer Friend was over for our weekly Yoga and dinner. The photo got brought up somehow. It came out that my husband and our mutual friend whose kid was in the photo had been talking about it. She didn’t like that the photo was priced but she never brought it up to the Photographer. This made him super embarrassed and upset that this was being talked about behind his back. He didn’t speak to me all the following week.
The next week he was suppose to come over for Yoga and dinner. I get a text an hour and thirty min after he was supposed to be at our house. He said that he was still upset and was going to his studio to work. This seriously hurt my feelings. I put a lot of thought and effort into what I cook for our weekly dinners. He then didn’t speak to me for another week.
The following week the day he was to come over I get a text he wants to talk. So we talked on the phone for about 30 min. He said he wasn’t mad at me or upset with me. He felt like my husband may not have been as good a friend as he thought. He said he wasn’t coming over that evening again. I asked about maybe a bike ride or a walk later in the week. He said maybe.
Almost a week later I’ve not heard anything. I’m heart broken and really just don’t understand what the hell happened. I don’t know if he’s going to talk to me again or not. I’m being shut out even though he said he wasn’t mad at me. I understand if he doesn’t want to face my husband yet. But we could go on a bike ride or a walk and we could meet up somewhere he’d not have to see my husband yet.
Am I just over thinking this? Am I being too sensitive? Should I just face the fact our friendship is over?

Title is pretty clear. Me(f20) and my bf(m23) have been together for 8 months. He’s the best person I’ve ever been with and is so so great.
Recently my friend called me and told me he popped up on her bumble in the “everyone” section. She sent me the screenshots and it’s definitely him. I wanna note, that the account looks old and outdated.
I confronted him as soon as we got back to my place. Asked him why it was popping up when bumble doesn’t show accounts when they’re inactive for 30 days. He told me he doesn’t know. He showed me his phone and bumble wasn’t downloaded.
He then downloaded bumble and tinder and deleted the accounts in front of me.
A part of me believes him that he wasn’t actively using it, due to the outdated look of the profile. But I’m still confused as to why it popped up. I’m having some serious heartbreaking feelings. We talked about it and he seems genuine that he’s not sure as to why it popped up. I’ve been hurt in the past, and I really don’t need the hurt again. Especially right now. I’ve never downloaded a dating app personally, so I’m not too sure as to how they work exactly with old profiles and such.
Not really sure as to what I’m looking for in this post, I guess advice as to what I should do moving forward. If there’s any signs I should keep an eye out for? Such like that.

Sydney 19 ® animmopone wing Open to exploring 66 About me TXT ME 1ST! I have a twin, two pit bulls, I focus a lot on work. I'm looking for someone to spend some time with. DISCLAIMER: I don't have snap. You gotta talk to me on here a little before i hand over my number fool. I like laughing, and if yk you're welcome for this laugh. I love laughing. I also love tats. B Essentials $ 99 miles away • 5ft 2 in i Influencer at OF • Allegany College of Maryland fa Lives in Frostburg @ She/Her w Stralgr tior' Englist. ❌ Blue ⭐️ 💚
Context: this is copied from my boyfriend’s phone, a black screen which looks like a tinder dating app. Supposedly this is the girl he is messaging and on chat GTP he wrote make a flirty reply to this… I confronted him and he said he did all of this for a friend who needed help getting a girl… so any guys out there. Would you go out of your way like this to help your friend get a girl? Or is he lying out of his ass…