Ulya met art

So this is going to be a long story, but a very intriguing one (or so my friends say). Bear with me and if you could offer some advice on what to do please share. I know I'm probably just young and naive but I feel like the pain will never stop. Like I'm going to always be held back by this particular experience.
Also sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, English isn't my first language.
So all of this begins October of 2022 when I 18 (at the time) Male moved to a new city to study film. I was lucky enough to have good grades and be so passionate about this art that it kind of felt incredible to have this new beginning. I rented a small house which I decorated with my collections and all my stuff and ended up loving every second spend in it.
I'm Not very social. Thats just a fact. I've always had my school friends and some people from other activities but none of them really felt like they understood me. No sade to them, I really love them, it's just that I know my hobbies and personality are niece and weird so we don't always see eye to eye. So I wanted to overcome my social anxiety and meet new people.
For the first semester I was all alone. Completely. Spent days upon days without leaving my house if I didn't have school and even didn't have any actual human interaction if not necessary. I didn't realise how much I was hurting myself. The Second semester, someone approached me in school and asked if I could help them with the editing for their final movie, let's call him Jacob. I already was searching for a group project to join in order to pass the class so this felt like a sweet deal. The group was Jacob and 2 girls, let's call them Ellie and Hannah.
With time we started talking about more then just the movie. I was really surprised by how many things we had in common. It was the first time someone I met liked musical theatre or (and this is gonna sound sad, please don't judge me) people didn't want me to leave whenever I approached them. They invited me to things, to their homes and after school and to trips at the beach ect. We were together almost every day. Till late at night or through it. Just the 4 of us. Felt like we could rule the world.
One day i thought Ellie was flirting with me. That was a weird feeling. I'm not very good looking and had a lot of extra weight so that was pretty much the first time but my friends told me that was the case from what I was describing. I mentioned it to Jacob and he told me something I didn't expect. He told me him and Ellie were in an open relationship and were hiding it from everyone except Hannah because of his ex who was in school with us. He also confessed he once had a crush on me and that's why he approached me in the first place. He also saw Ellie flirting with me but was ok with it due to the "rules of their relationship".
I was ok with not having a romantic relationship with Ellie. She would actually become one of the closest friends I've ever had. Or so I thought.
I actually started having a crush on Hannah. She loved some of the movies I loved. Had some of my quirks so I didn't feel ashamed around her and she started watching my favourite tv show with me. During our time together everyone (even her sister and Jacob who found out I liked her) told us that when we were together we could only see each other. As if we had a unique way of communication that nobody else could understand.
I confessed my crush and she told me she felt the same way but that there where 2 problems. First that she gets very anxious about relationships, has only ever been to one and had never kissed anyone. I assured her I wasn't going to pressure anything and I only cared for her and wanted to go on a date sometime. She replied she would like that very much. The second problem she confessed was that she was in love with Jacob for months now but nobody knew. Then everything made sense. The things she did for him and all. How she acted around him. I was surprised I didn't notice it before. She told me she wanted to get over it and proceed to ask to kiss me. We kissed a lot but nothing more that night. She went home after a few hours.
The next day Hannah she felt very distant. We wanted to go to the movies with Ellie but she disappeared all day. Late at night she asked my to go for a walk since we lived near each other. Then she told me she wanted to forget everything and last night was a mistake. That her anxiety has gotten into her and although she really wanted a relationship she couldn't be in one. The next few days we talked again and she said she didn't share any of this with Jacob to have someone in the group I could talk to if I needed help. Ellie was that for her.
It was already summer so we all went to our home towns. I missed her a ton. We stilled talked and the other 2 knew something was off with me. About 2 moths later we all went to Hannah's summerhouse for vacation. We were having fun, getting drunk and all that 19-year old stuff. One night me and Hannah were watching my show together and the time felt right so I asked to kiss her. She told me no and finally told me the truth. Turns out she liked that we flirted but after kissing me she realised it wasn't anything more. Also everyone knew except me. But after all this time I had realised I was in love with this girl. I told her if she could keep all of this to herself and she said yes.
We were all still friends. But I couldn't let go. My mental health began to decent and I started feeling like they would leave me out of stuff to go hang out alone and during October I tried talking some time away to see if they would even talk to me if I didn't. They didn't even say good morning once. I tried again and again. Jacob and Ellie said we all need to talk together. They repeated the same words. Like as if it was rehearsed. I went to "the talk".
Jacob did most of the talking. He talked about boundaries and how after everything between me and Hannah the group hasn't been the same. That after I didn't tell him what happened in our vacation they went to her and forced Hannah to do so. They where all attacking me. I heard lie after lie and all followed up with "we just need some time" and that all of this was cause they loved me.
I have discussed what they accused me of with friends, family and therapists. Although I didn't not believe it at first they all confirmed it was finding little details in my day-to-day behaviour (unrelated to all of the above) and using it to kick me out. They didn't intend of even speaking to me again. Lies feed to everyone by Jacob.
I went away. I don't know if it was for the better. But for a few weeks at first and then months later, I went back to my home town. Their lies became actual blame and I got a message from Ellie saying that we are done (just one month after trying to convince me they needed time and confessing she in particular didn't even notice anything until her boyfriend accused me).
Last time I saw any of them was in December when I gave Hannah her Christmas present. I told her I wasn't trying to get her back and I would continue to keep my distance since my first priority is what she wants and I meant that. I really do love her and would do anything for her to be happy. But I miss her a ton.
It's been 5 months since then. I stopped going to school and kept my distance from anyone related to that life. I have depression and cannot think about anything else. I heard that Jacob still talk shut about me to everyone. I have realised what has happened and have discussed this with multiple common friends who have confirmed this. Jacob is Manipulating the other 2 because of the bad relationship with his parents. He knows Ellie won't do anything with anyone else despite the "open" relationship due to her luck of confidence (so it only works for him). She need him to operate in public and to deal with her extreme anxiety so he takes advantage of that and Hannah follows him everywhere with the excuse of just being a good friend.
There are so many things I couldn't include (this is a hugh post already) about more lies and proof that they where bad for me. But I can't move on. I have seeked medical help but I just cant imagine my life in the future without them. Everything is a reminder of what we've been through. Jacob used to call me his family and when I begged him for our friendship back he didn't even care. Not on my birthday, not on new years... never. I lost all of them.
I'm back now. Not sure why, whether I'm back to continue my studies or to see if I could win them back. If I could have Hannah in my life in sime form. But I'll probably see them tomorrow morning (I randomly walked behind them today, don't think they noticed me).
Please if you have any advice share it. I just want to feel happy again. Even for a second.
TL,DR: The girl I'm in love with stopped talking to me along with my 2 best friends. I can't move on and I'm supposed to face them again in school after not seeing them for months. They all lied to me and nothing seem to help. I have depression and I dont want to feel like this for the rest of my life.

Hello, whoever you are on your side of this screen.
Predictability and ordinarity bore me. The idea of casual sex makes me more asleep than a Snorlax. I also don't want to be asked "How are you?" for the millionth time. And photos - well, one is always more than enough.
I'm sure I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I don't seek anything ordinary, either. I'm just an author and researcher currently living in Portugal, and looking for someone new and truly unique to inspire me. We can talk about pretty much anything, plus you can learn a ton of super unusual but cool stuff if you're also into culture, literature, legends, stories, etc. What else can I tell you about me? Well, I'm often told I'm the most interesting person people have ever met, but let's go here for ten groups of facts about me and my life:
1- I've travelled to over 100 countries in search of knowledge, my favourite place being the streams of water and forests in the north of the Pyrenées, where I once placed my feet in the water and meditated for days.
2- I do not have a favourite book, but I do feel many marked my life. For example, Ovid's "Ars Amatoria" (as a teen), Cicero's "De Senectute" (as an adult), the "Ramayana" (as someone eager to explore other cultures), the "Nag Hammadi Library" (as a person interested in almost-lost religious texts), etc.
3- I once met a really amazing woman, we were together for 10+ years, we never married but we both knew neither of us was going anywhere else, I lost her in 2014 (and I don't want to talk about it), and I'm perfectly comfortable being single.
4- I've published over 80 books, between my real name and various pseudonyms, with the most sold having been top 100 on Amazon, and the least sold still stuck at under 10 copies (and it's intentionally supposed to sell very little).
5- In college I studied Computer Science, Psychology, French "LLCs" and Classical + Medieval Studies, but among my many passions you can also count Theology, Philosophy, Art, Mythology, Classical Music, Western Mysticism, Languages, etc.
6- I dislike social media and photos of people. I hardly ever take photos of myself or others, but I do have an enormous collection of photos I've taken around the globe, where I mostly tried to eternalize places and moments.
7- Apart from writing, I spend most of my free time as a volunteer for projects related to Culture, Children, and Mental Welfare. I also tend to donate to charity on a monthly basis, because I feel we should try to spread to others the good things we have in our lives.
8- Although I'm 39, I'm perfectly okay talking to much younger, or much older, people, because I feel they can also teach me a lot of things that I'm not necessarily familiarized with. And, in fact, one of my biggest pleasures in "real" life is talking to random people and learning new stuff from them.
9- I survived cancer and meningitis. I'm 99% okay, with the exception of a small physical problem most people never even notice.
10- I was recently "rejected" from a buddhist monastery for health reasons, since it seems my constant need for medication for an auto-immune disease would contrast with the simple life their monks need to have. So, yeah, that's mostly why I'm back online and posting this message.
So... if you are indeed tired of the usual messages and conversations, write me. Maybe you are indeed what I seek.

I think its common knowledge in these circles that the first draft of TPM from 1994 (originally called The Beginning) is much better. Still very flawed, but a good baseline for a better movie.
For some reason, Lucas added many things in the final draft that made the movie a lot worse. It's fascinated me for a while now about how things could have been if the original script was built upon.
I have been watching videos summing up the original draft for a while now and I discovered something. Apparently Lucas gave his final TPM draft to Lawrence Kasdan a week before shooting started and asked for him to take a look at it. However, Kasdan refused because he though he wouldn't have enough time to make revisions.
I want to imagine how TPM would look if Kasdan or some other hypothetical collaborator got to see the first draft in 1994 and fixed it up. This isn't my preferred PT rewrite. This is just what I would have done if Lucas had dropped his first draft in my lap and told me to revise it.
Here are the videos I got the information from:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPHUWM3QNk0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqsD8s2W9Ho
The movie starts with an opening crawl talking about how it is a time of weakness in the Republic. The Outer Rim controlled by megacorporation's has seceded backed by droid armies. War has not broken out yet, but the galaxy is on the brink. They are now blockading the peaceful planet of Utapau to gain its rich plasma mines as well as its newly discovered Cloning formula. The Supreme Chancellor Valorum has dispatched two Jedi to investigate and/or negotiate if they can.
We then cut to a republic starship coming to land just like in the finished film. Only the Jedi are wearing samurai esqe uniforms (like the concept art), one black and one white. The black uniformed Jedi is Obi Wan Kenobi who is about 30, trained by Yoda and is already a full Jedi Knight. Very strict and by the book. The white uniformed Jedi is his brother Ben Kenobi who just became a full jedi. This is Ben's first mission without his master Oui Gon.
Ben Kenobi is very reckless and wonders why the Republic doesn't just declare war on the Confederacy already. Obi Wan argues with him while they wait in the conference room. Meanwhile Nute Gunray and the rest of the Nemoidians look more like how they do in early concept art. Much less humanoid and they speak in an alien language with subtitles.
They call Palpatine on the hologram and he is enraged that they let the Jedi land. He chokes Nute Gunray through the hologram, cowing him. They agree to kill the Jedi and things go similarly as in the finished movie. The ship is blown up, and poison gas is pumped into the conference room. Ben and Obi Wan cut their way through the battle droids and get to the hanger. They decide to stow away on the landing craft.
On the surface of Utapau they run into Jar Jar. In this version though, Jar Jar while emotional and still comic relief speaks in a normal voice and is a bit more mature. He's more of the everyman character. Ben persuades Jar Jar to take them to the Gungan city with a mind trick, this is something Obi Wan disapproves of. Ben is more unorthodox.
They get there and are captured just like the real film. The only difference is that all the Gungans have regular voices. They are taken to Governor Nass and we learn that Jar Jar was banished because he was a trouble maker who argued for more cooperation between the Gungans and Humans. As he rants, fish continuously fall through the bubble and a young gungan gathers them up and puts them outside again.
The two Jedi still convince him to call the humans and the whole bubble is engulfed in static. It is clear that communications have been cut off. The two Jedi are then given a submarine and told to try to navigate the planet core. Nobody has been able to do it in generations and it is clear Nass thinks its a suicide mission, a convenient way to get rid of three nuisances. They then travel through the planet core being attacked by various creatures while Jar Jar is kept calm through mind tricks.
We then cut to the city of Oxon (what later became Theed) where Queen Amidala who is 40 and her daughter Princess Padme around 14 are being briefed by captain Panaka and Sio Bibble. The Queen is complacent while Padme thinks they should take the fight to the Confederacy. Suddenly the droid army attacks the city and we see building being blown up and city guards killed.
The Queen, Padme, Panaka and all the other dignitaries are captured. Nute and the rest of the Nemodians show up as well to gloat like in the final movie and give some more exposition about how they want Utapaus cloning formula. We then see the Gungan submarine surfacing and the Jedi and Jar Jar sneak into the city.
They find the prisoners being walked down an alley and save them like in the real movie. Ben uses some flashy moves to finish the droids off and is almost killed by another droid while his back is turned. Obi Wan cuts the droid down and admonishes Ben for his recklessness. The Queen and co are pleased to see two Jedi knights but they are very hostile towards Jar Jar. Which the Jedi are displeased over.
They run to the hanger like the finished film and free the Pilots, however a stray blaster shot kills the Queen with Padme screaming in horror as they board the ship. The humans also try to prevent Jar Jar getting on board but the two Jedi insist upon it.
The ship gets attacked by the blockade and Naboo guards man gun positions while astromech droids finish the repair. After they get into hyperspace there is only one droid left. R2D2 who is thanked by a still in grieving Padme. She goes off down into the droid bay to be alone and runs into Jar Jar who consoles her. This starts Padmes turn towards liking the Gungans instead of being bigoted towards them.
Meanwhile Ben and Obi Wan look through the planets accessible through their damaged hyperdrive and only find one inhabited world. Tatooine, which most of the royal guards/pilots are horrified about. Still they have no choice so they land. Padme goes with the Jedi despite protests. She wants to see another planet and get some fresh air after what just happened. Panaka lets her go reluctantly because she has two Jedi to guard her. Jar Jar also goes with them because the Utapau humans say he's "stinking the ship up".
We then cut to Utapau again where Nute Gunray and the Nemoidians are talking to captured scientists about their cloning program. They look at something in a cloning tank and look impressed. Then a hologram droid walks in projecting Darth Sidious. He castigates them for their failure in letting the princess get away and they grovel before him again. Darth Sidious says its no matter, as he will send his apprentice, Darth Maul. The Sith warrior himself looks even scarier than in the film we got with him looking like the concept art, he also has blood red robes.
We cut to a balcony on Coruscant where master and apprentice talk. Maul speaks more than in TPM and says how eager he is to get revenge on the jedi, they are no match for me yada yada.
Back on Tatooine in Mos Espa we see our heroes trying to get the part they need. It is a rowdy place and a leering slimy alien (Sebulba but we don't know that yet) tries to touch Padme arm but she elbows him and after that the crowd gives them a wide berth. Obi Wan and Ben sense something, an overpowering aura of the force. They follow it and find themselves in front of Wattos junk shop.
They meet Anakin who is 14 the same age as Padme. He is mature for his age and has a bit of a chip on his shoulder from being a slave. We also meet Watto but he resists the mind tricks because of his strong will, not because of his species. Things go similarly, though the dialogue would be much better, no "are you an angel" in this version. Jar Jar still clumsily breaks a few things but it is more toned down. Watto also hits Anakin and tells him to get back to work. Ben grabs Wattos arms as he is about to hit him again while Obi Wan helps him to his feet.
The heroes get nowhere with Watto especially after stopping Wattos abuse and a sandstorm starts to blow in so Anakin offers to take them to his place. We meet Anakin's adopted mother Shmi Lars and her son Owen Lars who is older (19) and very protective of his little brother. At the dinner scene we learn about Anakin's Podracing (how he's nicknamed Skywalker) and how many people gamble on it for huge sums of money. Ben gets an Idea while we also see just how rare Jedi actually are in most of the galaxy with Owen calling them wizards.
We then see Anakin working on his Pod while talking to Padme. They both share their own struggle going up. Padme says she's never met anyone like Anakin while Anakin says he's never met anyone like her either. He then kisses her on the cheek while Jar Jar (who was watching out of boredom) jumps in surprise. Meanwhile we see the Jedi helping Shmi and Owen with the dishes.
The topic of Anakin's father comes up. We learn that Shmi's sister left Tatooine when she was young in search of adventure. Years later she came back and gave Shmi baby Anakin begging her to take care of him before leaving. She had a lightsaber on her belt same as the two Jedi now. She also tell them how Anakin is special and can see things before they happen, just like her sister.
Ben says Anakin needs to be trained as a Jedi while Obi Wan resists the idea saying he's too old. He's all about giving the family their freedom but not taking along Anakin. Owen is Obi Wans side, saying Anakin's head is already off in the clouds as it is. Being a Jedi won't help him, he needs to be grounded and down to earth. His idealism is going to get him killed. Shmi isn't sure which side to take in the argument and defers judgement until after Anakin hopefully wins the podrace tomorrow.
Ben goes out and talks to Anakin and tells him about the Jedi and the Sith. We get a whole spiel about how strong Anakin is and how he would be a great asset to the order. Meanwhile, Darth Mauls ship lands on Tatooine at dusk and he sets out different probes to find the Jedi and the Princess. He smiles evilly to himself, showing rotting teeth.
The pod racing stuff is basically the same, only Padme is outraged when Sebulba threatens Anakin and Ben/Obi Wan manage to get the freedom of Owen and Shmi as well by trickery (not sure how). There is no two headed announcer and no Jabba cameo either. At the end, in desperation, Anakin uses his force powers to crash Sebulbas pod killing him. Nobody notices that Anakin used the force except the two jedi who look on in concern
While everyone else gathers around Anakin's pod to celebrate Ben and Obi Wan have a heated argument in the shadows of the bleachers. Obi Wan takes this as a reason why Anakin shouldn't be trained while Ben thinks that it would be better to teach Anakin before he falls down the path of evil. Eventually they agree to let Anakin decide, Obi Wan saying he'll probably want to stay with his family.
However Anakin decides to go. His mother respects his decision and is proud of him while Owen is furious, but accepts the decision as well but telling Anakin that one day he'll regret his choice and when he does he's always welcome to come live with them again. The family hugs while everyone else just kind stands around.
They walk back through the desert when they encounter a probe droid. Obi Wan slashes it with his lightsaber and tells everyone to run. Everyone runs inside while Maul approaches in his speeder bike. The fight goes differently as it is a two one one fight. They all exhibit powers never seen in the original trilogy like levitating objects swirling around them, going super fact, and slow motion. Basically a Matrix fight with lightsabers before they both jump onto the ship.
The scenes as they travel to Coruscant are similar. Anakin and Padme miss their parents etc. They then arrive at Coruscant and it is basically like the finished movie in design. They land and meet Chancellor Valorem, Senator Palpatine, and Qui Gon Jinn. Qui Gon hugs Ben like a son while Palpatine talks to Padme. Padme then talks to Jar Jar about how she doesn't understand the rift between the Gungans and the Humans. We then learn that the Gungans have a large army. Padme has an idea and decides to go back to Utapau.
The senate scenes are cut down dramatically. Its more of a montage showing Padme's increasing frustration before she finally calls for a vote of no confidence while Palpatine smiles sinisterly. The Jedi Council meanwhile consists of three members. Qui Gon who is a very unorthodox Jedi mindful of the living force (wanting the jedi to go and help the common people more), Mace Windu a bastion of militaristic conservatism (wanting the Jedi to take their rightful place as generals/leaders, and Yoda who wants to stay the course on isolationism and study of the force.
We don't see the Jedi trials, Anakin just talks about them to Ben, Obi Wan and Qui Gon. He says he didn't understand them, and Qui Gon who has taken a liking to this upstart kid says he wasn't supposed to. They are all called in and Mace says Anakin shall not be trained. He is too old and there is much anger in him. Anakin is heartbroken while Obi Wan nods grimly in acceptance. Ben Kenobi however is not having it. He says he shall train Anakin with or without the councils permission. Mace denounces this as Heresy while Qui Gon smiles. Yoda sighs and says the matter will be decided after this current crisis has ended.
Ben, Obi Wan, and Qui Gon all decide to go with Padme, but Anakin is told to stay behind. There is also the discussion about how Anakin is dangerous which Anakin overhears. Being told by Ben and Qui Gon that he's not a problem and how he will be a Jedi. Anakin gets an idea and sneaks aboard the ship with the help of R2. He is quickly discovered to Obi Wans rage and Bens laughter.
They get back to Utapau and have to go through the blockade. Anakin is able to hyperspace jump between the ships and the planet with motivation from Ben. Our heroes then try to find the Gungans at their city but it has been completely blown up. We actually see this though, as well as Jar Jars sorrow before he remembers the Gungans sacred place.
They go there and like the movie Padme makes a big speech about overcoming difference, with Jar Jar intelligently backing her up. We then get ready for the battle. Anakin tinkers with a disabled battle droid and finds out there is a second droid control hidden somewhere in the palace. So the plan is set. The Gungans will distract the droids, while the humans will infiltrate the palace, one team disabling the backup control systems and the others capturing Nute or stealing starfighters that will be used to take out the droid control ship.
The plan goes into action and things are kind of similar to the finished film, though Jar Jar shows intentional heroism instead of the goofy antics in TPM. When the starfighters are launched though, Padme goes into the fighter with Anakin. Him being the pilot and Padme being the gunner. The rest of the human teams make short work of the battle droids. However when they reach Nute a surprise is awaiting them, clones.
These clones look kind of like Dark Troopers and a Super Battle droid had a kid. They decimate the Utapau soldiers while Nute flees. Meanwhile with the Jedis they disable the secondary control system but are then met with Darth Maul. It is a brutal and awe inspiring fight. 3v1 and yet Maul still comes out on top. He knocks out Qui Gon who falls of the bridge (the duel setting is the same) while taunting the other two. "This is the end of the jedi" you get the drill.
The remaining soldiers manage to kill the clones but there are not enough left to fend of the droids. They are captured same as the Gungans. Ben gets riled up, makes a mistake and is killed. Obi Wan screams and charges getting knocked into the pit, hanging on by a thread. Meanwhile Anakin and Padme manage to destroy the flagship at the same time that Obi Wan takes Ben's lightsaber and cuts Maul in half. He then says "learn not live not as my master says" and then rushes to Bens side.
Ben begs him to train Anakin and he agrees. Meanwhile the humans and Gungans are celebrating. We cut to Qui Gon and Queen Amidala's funeral. Qui Gon throws away his lightsaber and walks off. He is done with the jedi after the death of what was effectively his son. Palpatine looks at him go intrigued. Meanwhile Yoda and Obi Wan argue over Anakin's training. Obi Wan says he will train him even without the will of the council like Ben said. Yoda gives in but warns Obi Wan of his arrogance.
We then get the celebration the end.

I (21NB) have been talking to this guy (26M) for about two and a half weeks. We met at a show in my hometown (he was the guitarist for the opening band) and pretty much immediately hit it off. He stood so close to me his hair was brushing up against the side of my head and he got so excited talking about guitars I couldn't help but immediately develop a crush on him (I'm a guitarist too). We talked for a bit, I went back and watched the headliner perform, and then when I ran into him later, he gave me the guitar pick he'd performed with that night and called me by name.
I pretty much immediately left afterwards, super nervous and giddy about the whole thing, and a few hours later ended up finding his band (and by extent, him) on social media. As soon as I followed him (literally less than a minute is not an exaggeration) he followed me back and sent me a text telling me to have a good night and that it was great talking to me. He even spelled my unusual name correctly, which means he looked at my page.
We've been chatting for a few weeks. He asks me about myself, seems really happy to talk to me, and sends me videos of his band sometimes. He's talked about what he does for work, the music he listens to, etc. I know him way better than I ever expected to. It takes him a while to respond (he's got a lot going on), but he texts me at least once a day and sends me lots of :) and :0 emojis. Lots of omggggggs and lolllllls. He also seems to be interested in my hobbies and what I'm up to, even asking me to send him pictures of my art and helping me with my guitar playing.
But... there's kind of a big problem. He's in a completely different state from me. At least a two hour flight. And, yeah... I'm lucky enough to have flight benefits so I could feasibly see him if I wanted to, but I've also never been in a relationship. He definitely seems more comfortable talking to me than before, even sometimes bringing up stuff that could easily lead to more personal, private topics, but I've been kind of nervous to get into that stuff I guess.
I'm about 95% certain based on context clues that he's single, and it really seemed like he was interested in me at the show, but I just don't know how much I should let myself get invested in this. I also have no frame of reference to determine if he's even interested in me or if he just wants to be my friend because I've never been IN a relationship before.
The more I talk to him, the more I like him. He's really cute, he works with kids and he's genuinely just one of the sweetest, silliest people I've ever known. I'm REALLY, really starting to fall for this guy, and I'm just not sure how well I'd be able to handle another rejection if/when it comes to that.
I had some really traumatic shit happen to me last year involving me being SAed by a coworker who I had developed feelings for, and who did everything in his power to ruin my life after getting me to trust him. This has led me to be super cautious and I have some trust issues that developed as a result.
I just don't know what to do. Everyone keeps telling me to just enjoy it, but I just want so badly to know how he feels and I just don't really know what to do. I'd love to see him again but I don't know how I would bring that up without seeming too forward. I don't know what kind of timeline to expect either-- like, at what point would it be okay to ask to video chat? At what point could I bring up visiting him? How would I even go about presenting the idea of being in a relationship with this guy? I'm so lost.

Background: I [F20] have a narcissistic father. He is well known and appreciated as a political power In my city, but he is so manipulative to everyone. I believe that he may be kind deep down and I know he loves me as his daughter. But since he has grown in popularity and fame, he wants me to fit into a mold of a person that I am not. He constantly talks about me in his podcasts and newsletters, portraying me as a “wild child” argumentative “bra burner” type. I can’t stand it bc ppl think I’m mean before I even meet them. He also got heat in 2020 which led to my car getting keyed by far right winged ppl and my family is also harassed constantly even though I have nothing to do with his political position. Our relationship completely fell apart during Covid. He never stood up for me when people were harassing me and said he couldn’t intervene bc of his power position. He also makes fun of anyone of my multitude of hobbies to my face, but brags about them to colleagues. He says all the right things that a dad should say, but it has never been sincere. When my brother and me made him mad as kids, he would give us the silent treatment for days at a time.
Current issue: So long story, but I loved far away out of state for college to a small lib arts school so I could get away. I got lonely, fell into the wrong group, and eventually got redzoned by a senior athlete who took me under his wing. it was pretty bad for me so I talked to a teachers assistant that I was comfortable with and treated like a sister. But later on she told me that she was a mandated reporter and had to tell her boss who happened to be my professor as well. when he found out he started crying and it was the first time that I had ever experienced genuine empathy over something that had happened to me. Later on he walked me to the title IX office and waited for me to fill out a complaint and meet with the administrator. As the process continued he constantly checked on me and met with me to see how I was doing. He was also the head coach of my college sport so I was basically seeing him every day for multiple hours. I have never experienced so much support in my lifetime emotionally and philosophically. He was the first person to genuinely support my interests and invest in my mental well-being. And I know that the father figure persona may come off as delusional however multiple people noticed this dynamic and some ppl on my team even upset that I was the favorite and treated like his daughter. The next year he had even made me his teachers assistant and constantly checked on me like before. And when I got a boyfriend he interrogated him just like a dad and I got embarrassed and my teammates took notice to it that he was acting like my dad. A couple months later he told me that he was going through a divorce from what I thought was a dream couple. I had even grown close with his soon to be ex wife and felt like I was part of the family. . Regardless I continue to walk his dog every day help with class assignments and talk to him like that I was his daughter. I wouldn’t be so upset if he didn’t reciprocate the energy that I was making up about him being a father figure but it was blatantly obvious And he most definitely played a role in it. Early in this fall semester it seemed like he completely abandoned this idea of being my father especially since he got a new girlfriend. It’s not like we were attracted to each other I genuinely saw him as a father so I’m not really sure why things got mixed up here at this point. Anyways since I was assaulted my freshman year I had developed a substance abuse problem and it had gotten way out of hand this semester. Before this I could be open with him about it and he’s very kind and understanding and offered resources that were personal and his friends not just the typical school resources. Anyways since I opened up that time he’s increasingly become more distant and people have noticed. I started to think that he hated me but I’m really not sure. I mainly think now that he realize that he had crossed a boundary and he had to go back on it However he did it so abruptly but I feel completely abandoned and useless and it seems like everything we’ve ever talked about before never even happened and in the end i just think it’s a shitty thing to do you know? I think it’s totally fine to set boundaries in the beginning to not take on the role as a father figure but to take them on And then completely leave has been so detrimental to my well-being. Since I don’t have a reliable dad to go back to at home I feel like I kind of have no one except my mom but I’d really like a father figure. My mom even acknowledge that this person would be a good father figure even though mine has been present every year of my life which I thought was strange. Anyways I feel like I was just filling the gap of his divorce and his emotional pain at the time and now I think he’s grown tired of me and I don’t really know what to do and all I can say is that I am never been this depressed before And I don’t realistically know any real person to talk to about it. If any of you in this sub Reddit have experience similar to this please please please tell me how you cope. I wish I never met him.

Lucifer began approaching Mary, kicking the caltrops out of the way while Mary was swinging her thurible, winding up a swing, also careful not to step on her own caltrops.
“Heh…… You completely surrounded yourself huh? That’s good”
Lucifer remarks, before holding out one of his hands.
“MAMMON! GAUNTLETS OF GREED!”
Lucifer’s gauntlets turned gold, and the caltrops nearby began to fly to him, Mary looking at the caltrops, before Lucifer closes his fist, enhancing the attraction of the gold, Mary suddenly getting stabbed from behind from the caltrops, and a lot of gold jewelry and gems from the audience also adding up, Lucifer’s gauntlets now having massive spiked knuckle dusters, Mary taking the caltrops out of her back, dripping myrrh into the wounds from her Thurible to close them.
“Cheap trick..”
Mary said to Lucifer, who grinned.
“It’s your fault for giving me those caltrops”
Meanwhile, Göll was shocked at Lucifer’s powers.
“He called out another Sin…is that how his powers work?”
Brunhilde then answers Göll.
“Yes, it’s a trick he learned when he first rebelled to the 6 Heavenly Leaders”
Brunhilde then looked at Mary, who stopped bleeding thanks to the myrrh produced by the thurible being empowered by the gifts of the 3 magi.
“You already know how and why Lucifer first rebelled against YHWH and the other Leaders, right?”
Brunhilde asked Göll, who nodded.
“He thought he was above them, rallying a 3rd of all pantheons and even Helheim, but was defeated by Michael, right?”
Brunhilde nods, looking at Lucifer’s armor.
“To be more precise, Lucifer was the perfect being in Heaven. He had everything he could ask and more, like a spoiled brat, and one time, when training in Heaven, he had this thought:Why am I not one of the 6 Heavenly Leaders?”
Brunhilde continued, Göll listening carefully.
“So, he went to each of the 6 Heavenly Leaders, and told them he wanted to also be a Leader, even being happy with being the 7th, but after a council, all 6 of them denied his request, as Lucifer was not worshiped like a God by the humans; This enraged Lucifer, to the point he grabbed a sword nearby, and lunged against Ra and Amaterasu, claiming that he just has to kill one of them and take their spot, before YHWH’s bodyguard, Michael, intervened, parrying his strike before throwing him out of the Council room”
While Brunhilde was talking, Göll couldn’t help but look at Lucifer’s armor and weaponry.
“And so, Lucifer became very determined into overthrowing all 6 Leaders, and traveled across all pantheons, recruiting several angels, monsters, demons, minor gods, and even managing to convince major ones, such as Seth, the Asuras, Mot, Baal, and many more, and after gathering such a large army and increasing his own power, he launched a full invasion in Heaven, aiming to kill YWHW first for revenge, but was met with a single obstacle:Michael”
Upon hearing Michael’s name, Göll had memories of the previous round, where Michael had fought against Yoshitsune and nearly died.
“T-the same Michael who fought last match?”
Brunhilde nodded, continuing the narration.
“Michael requested for a duel to solve the matter, whichLucifer agreed to, but as soon as the 6 Heavenly Leaders gave their approval for the duel, Lucifer sent his entire army against Michael, and after a long battle, Lucifer was finally defeated by a single Angel, something he still couldn’t believe, despite being surrounded by bodies, and being all beaten up. As he was still Alice, Lucifer then asked Michael how he won, and why he didn't kill him off, Michael replying with:”My faith in Lord YHWH granted me the strength to beat your selfish Pride, Lucifer, and the freedom of death will not be a proper punishment for you” before casting Lucifer’s entire army, including Lucifer himself, into the jaws of the Leviathan, the Gates of Helheim” “The Leviathan? Isn’t he also one of the 7 Deadly Sins?”
Göll asked Brunhilde, who then replied back.
“He wasn’t, until Lucifer was sent to Helheim, where he plotted to overthrow it, and after breaking out once with the help of the 72 Demons of the Ars Goetia, he went to the Leviathan’s mind, and told him that if the Leviathan helped him, Lucifer will make him a name everyone will fear and submit to, to which the Leviathan agreed to, and with the help of his fellow other sins, Beelzebub, Mammon, Belphegor, Satan and Asmodeus, he gathered all of the prisoners and sinners in Helheim, and successfully overthrew Hades and Thanatos, holding Hades hostage to avoid the 6 Heavenly Leaders from intervening, and banishing Thanatos out, becoming the sole leader of Helheim.”
Brunhilde finished narrating, as Göll kept looking at Lucifer’s armor and weapons while he fought Mary, especially captivated by the dark auras surrounding him.
“So, in Helheim, he then realized he could gather sin energy for himself?”
Göll asks once again, Brunhilde nodding in response.
“With that same sin energy, he kidnapped Kanayago and Hephaestus, while also forcing cyclops and the souls of human blacksmiths, to forge him the weapons and armor he’s using right now:the Armor of Pride, the Gauntlets of Greed, the Helmet of Sloth, the Hook of Gluttony, the Sword of Wrath, the Shield of Envy and the Spear of Lust”
As Brunhilde was listing Lucifer’s arsenal, Lucifer unsheathed his sword, approaching Mary.
“SATAN! SWORD OF WRATH:ABADDON PLAGUES!”
Lucifer’s sword then extended in black and red sin energy, and swung at Mary, who swung back, shattering the sword.
“LUCIFER’S SWORD HAS BEEN SHATTERED BY THE VIRGIN MARY’S SWING!”
Heimdall announces, Zeus then chuckling.
“She shouldn’t have”
The shattered fragments, still flying in the air, then turned into various plagues:toxic frogs, locusts, boiling oil, plague-infested pests and a pitch black smoke, Mary being unaffected by the frogs, locusts and pests, and swinging her thurible to dissipate the smoke, but burning her arms on the oil in the process.
“WHAT WAS THAT???”
Göll screamed shocked, Brunhilde calmly explaining.
“The weapons and armor are imbued with the sin energies, and with that, Lucifer can use various powers, which were given to him by his fellow sins, Satan's Wrath in this case”
Mary then cooled the oil off with myrrh, and upon seeing Lucifer approach, she swung the thurible around herself, creating a cloud of smoke.
“Yeah yeah, keep hiding you little bitch….hm?”
Lucifer stepped back from the incense smoke, and tapped his helmet, which grew an eye between the horns.
“Helmet of Sloth, Belphegor…..what do you mean your Automatic Aim can’t scan weak points through that smoke? What do you mean “Be happy you can still see an outline?””
As Lucifer began scanning the smoke, from the top balcony, Brunhilde saw that Mary had made a wall of frankincense smoke around her.
“So, his helmet was made with the power of Belphegor, the…..sin of sloth? How does that even make sense?”
Göll asked, confused, Brunhilde looking at Göll.
“Yes, but remember:Sloth is the sin of inaction, of not doing anything yourself, and the Helmet of Sloth automatically tells Lucifer where his enemy is, any incoming attack, and can even focus on weak points, doing all the work”
Inside the circle, Mary once again, swung her thurible, but this time, it also spewed incense, accelerating the swing, while Mary began to pray, the audience hearing the prayer from Heimdall’s speakers, and began joining in.
“_Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death. Amen._”
Soon, Lucifer could hear the audience had also begun praying along Mary.
“Hm? Oh, they’re praying for her safety? Hehe, how pathetic” “THE VIRGIN MARY IS PRAYING FOR HERSELF? FOR WHAT REASONS IS SHE DOING THIS?”
Heimdall announced, also confused.
“Ugh, LUCIFER! ARMOR OF PRIDE! JERICHO QUAKES!”
Lucifer’s boots glowed black, Lucifer doing a roundhouse kick towards the wall, shockwaves dissipating the smoke, revealing the Virgin Mary, who immediately charges towards Lucifer.
“_Ave Maria!_”
Lucifer was caught off guard by the speed at which Mary approached and attacked, using his gauntlets to shield himself.
“What the-”
As Mary’s thurible hits Lucifer’s gauntlets, a glowing light emerges from the point of contact, and Lucifer’s Gauntlets then shatter from the hit, shocking Lucifer, Heimdall and all of the audience, even making Zeus and Artemis worry.
“THE…..THE VIRGIN MARY LANDS A DEVASTATING HIT! LUCIFER’S GAUNTLETS HAVE BEEN BROKEN!”

Hello! I'm a graduate student, and I'm going to be in Kendall Square, Cambridge for 3 months in the summer. I'm looking for communities that practise art or meditation as I'm very interested in both activities. Could anyone recommend where I could look? I'd prefer if they met closer to Kendall Square in Cambridge, but anywhere in Boston should be fine as well.

I never believed in monsters, but the events of last week made me question those beliefs to a great extent.
The job seemed pretty simple at first: some people saw a strange creature in the woods and the mayor of their little no name town was willing to pay me for taking it down. He offered me 5000 dollars for shooting what was probably just a mangy bear, I’d be a fool for turning him down. Besides, he even paid me half of it in advance AND offered to lend me the keys to a private bungalow near the forest, to make my stay more comfortable. It took some time for the keys to arrive (postal services be damned), but after about a week it was time for me to head out. I packed my rifle, ammunition and some clothes and got in my truck. This would be the job of a lifetime.
When I arrived at the town, there were no signs of life. I chalked it up to it being 11 PM on a Tuesday, but even so, you’d expect at least a few lights to be on, right? Nevertheless, I continued driving until I reached my “home” for the coming few days.
The bungalow was small, it looked more like a cabin. Then again, I wasn’t here for a vacation anyways, I was here to work. As I tried unlocking the front door, I noticed it was already open. Strange, I thought to myself, but nothing unusual. It’s not like you’d have to worry about people breaking into your house in a small town in bumfuck nowhere.
Once inside, I threw my bag on the floor and plopped down onto a chair. It was a long drive, and I was tired. After grabbing a beer from my bag I began to mentally prepare for the days to come. Tomorrow, I would visit the mayor and ask for any leads of their “creature’s” whereabouts, after which I would spend the remainder of the day scouring the forest for any tracks. If my hunt wasn’t successful by then I would simply try again the day after. Easy job, easy plan and easy money. I finished my beer and decided to go to bed.
That night, I was awoken by my stomach’s inability to digest alcohol. I rushed to the bathroom while vomit started to work its way up my throat. Sadly, I was too late, and now the bathroom door was covered in beer and the half-digested sandwiches I had the day before. I cussed for a while, thinking about how stupid this whole situation was. Sure, my body had not been the same since the accident, but I never had trouble drinking before. After sitting there for a while I went searching for something to clean up my work of art. A thorough inspection of the bungalow led me to a closet, where I finally found a mop and went to town on my stomach’s content.
I was humming a little song to help lighten up my mood, but when I heard someone humming back to me from outside my whole demeanor changed. I quit cleaning immediately and snuck over to my backpack. As soon as I did that, the humming stopped and was replaced by a man’s voice.
“Sorry… Didn’t want to startle you there… Buddy!” the mysterious man said, with no discernable emotion in his voice.
I sat in silence, loading my rifle while I listened to the man outside. Sure, it was no bear, but random people hanging around your place in the middle of the night rarely spell good news. I waited for him to start speaking again, but he did not resume talking, no matter how long I sat there in silence. An hour had passed and still he had not said a word. I figured it was probably just a local drunk that found his way to the cabin, heard me hum, hummed along like a merry drunk guy would and then left because why not. Drunk guys do what drunk guys do. After coming up with this rational explanation, I went to sleep again, thinking about how weird that whole situation had been.
When I woke up in the morning my stomach pain was gone. I got out of bed, packed my stuff and headed to my truck. I noticed the scratches on the truck almost immediately. I remember thinking that it must have been that drunk guy from the night before and that I would make him pay for this if I ever saw him again. Angrily, I got in the car and drove over to the town hall. On my way there, I once again noticed the lack of people in the street. The road being empty on a Tuesday night made perfect sense, but not even one person having to drive to work on a Wednesday morning? That’s suspicious, and it should have been one of the many things that should’ve made me reconsider the job. My car needed a new paint job though, and even then, I’ve always been a stubborn bastard. As I drove, I thought I saw someone move behind a building in my rear view mirror, but I didn’t get a clear view of the person. I felt happy to see that there actually were people in this town, so I continued my drive.
When I got to the town hall the first thing I noticed was the broken window. That drunk guy must’ve vandalized more than just my truck, I thought at the moment. I got out of my car and walked up to the front door, which was open, and entered the building. Upon walking into the entrance hall I was met by a rotten smell. My vomit would’ve been all over the floor if it hadn’t been for my little adventure yesterday, that’s how bad it was. It smelled like a mixture of dead animals, fermenting plants and rotting milk. I considered turning around and leaving right then and there, but I decided to at least try to talk to the mayor, to find out what was going on. Curiosity killed the cat, I thought, but I was no cat. Stupid as I was, I didn’t bother going back to the car to get my rifle. What was the worst thing that could happen? Against better judgment, I went to search for the mayor.
When I found him, his body was lying on the floor, completely dead. He was missing an arm and his face. His torso had been ripped to shreds. His office had been completely ruined too, with random office supplies and some antique vases lying scattered on the floor, along with a picture of the mayor and his wife. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I heard a familiar voice coming from the hallway: the drunk guy from last night.
“Hey… I know you’re in here somewhere… Dude,” he said, his voice still as monotone as before.
His footsteps were heavy, growing louder with every step as he got closer and closer. Along with his footsteps, the sound of something being dragged across the floor could be heard. I even heard his breathing, heavy and labored, as he neared the mayor’s office. Suddenly, all of the sounds stopped. I knew he was right outside the door, waiting for me to make a move. I just sat there, regretting my choice of not taking my rifle with me. Then I realized something. I realized that I’m a 6’3 foot man who weighs 250 pounds and also used to be a boxer in his younger years. I got up with my fists ready to throw some punches and decided to make this man regret screwing with my car. I could hear the man scratching at the wall as I neared the door.
“Found you!” he yelled, his voice sounding more guttural than before.
I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder as my aggressor knocked me to the floor, followed by the warm sensation of blood flowing out of my wound. I remember thinking that the bastard had stabbed me.
The man jumped at me before I was able to regain my balance, forcing me to roll to the side to avoid him. That’s when I noticed that this “man” wasn’t a person at all. At the moment, all I could see was something vaguely bipedal, hunched over a bit and covered in long black fur. What I thought had been a knife were actually a set of long claws on each hand.
The creature began to turn towards me, and I took this as my sign to move. I picked up a vase that was lying next to me and threw it at the monster, hitting it straight in the head. Then I got up in an instant and booked it. As I was running, I could hear the creature following me closely behind. Its roars became more and more animalistic with each passing second, clearly enraged from my attempt to fight back. I practically jumped down the stairs, nearly breaking my legs in the process, after which I continued my sprint towards the door. Without thinking twice I just busted through the surprisingly weak door.
Once outside, I noticed more creatures coming at me in the corner of my eyes. Filled with adrenaline, I ran to my truck, got inside and started the engine. That’s when the creature from earlier came falling down in the parking space right next to me. The bastard had jumped through the first floor’s window. When it got up, I finally got a good look at the thing. The thing that I heard it drag across the floor was its tail, and the things that stabbed me and scratched my car were the massive claws on its hands. Yet the thing that got me the most, the thing that will forever haunt my dreams, was its face. Or, to put it in better words, the contorted face of a man, plastered over its head. It was the same face I saw on the mayor’s picture.
I stepped on the gas and floored it. While driving, I noticed more and more creatures started to give chase, each one wearing a different face. I drove as fast as I could until they were all out of sight and I had left the town. Even then, I did not drop my speed, probably committing multiple traffic violations as I drove. But I did not care. The stuff I saw there was way above my paygrade, and I wanted to get as far away from it as possible. I drove for hours, only stopping to tank my car.
This incident happened a few days ago. Currently, I’m still in the hospital, waiting for the wound in my shoulder to heal. The doctors say I’m lucky that I can still move my arm. Sure, I’m happy to be alive, but life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows for me. I’ve racked up more debt than the 2500 dollars can pay and as if that wasn’t enough, men in black suits have been interviewing me ever since I got here. So if you’re reading this, please just remember one thing: if some guy offers you 5000 dollars just to shoot a bear, stay away. Because there’s no way in hell those things were bears.

I never believed in monsters, but the events of last week made me question those beliefs to a great extent.
The job seemed pretty simple at first: some people saw a strange creature in the woods and the mayor of their little no name town was willing to pay me for taking it down. He offered me 5000 dollars for shooting what was probably just a mangy bear, I’d be a fool for turning him down. Besides, he even paid me half of it in advance AND offered to lend me the keys to a private bungalow near the forest, to make my stay more comfortable. It took some time for the keys to arrive (postal services be damned), but after about a week it was time for me to head out. I packed my rifle, ammunition and some clothes and got in my truck. This would be the job of a lifetime.
When I arrived at the town, there were no signs of life. I chalked it up to it being 11 PM on a Tuesday, but even so, you’d expect at least a few lights to be on, right? Nevertheless, I continued driving until I reached my “home” for the coming few days.
The bungalow was small, it looked more like a cabin. Then again, I wasn’t here for a vacation anyways, I was here to work. As I tried unlocking the front door, I noticed it was already open. Strange, I thought to myself, but nothing unusual. It’s not like you’d have to worry about people breaking into your house in a small town in bumfuck nowhere.
Once inside, I threw my bag on the floor and plopped down onto a chair. It was a long drive, and I was tired. After grabbing a beer from my bag I began to mentally prepare for the days to come. Tomorrow, I would visit the mayor and ask for any leads of their “creature’s” whereabouts, after which I would spend the remainder of the day scouring the forest for any tracks. If my hunt wasn’t successful by then I would simply try again the day after. Easy job, easy plan and easy money. I finished my beer and decided to go to bed.
That night, I was awoken by my stomach’s inability to digest alcohol. I rushed to the bathroom while vomit started to work its way up my throat. Sadly, I was too late, and now the bathroom door was covered in beer and the half-digested sandwiches I had the day before. I cussed for a while, thinking about how stupid this whole situation was. Sure, my body had not been the same since the accident, but I never had trouble drinking before. After sitting there for a while I went searching for something to clean up my work of art. A thorough inspection of the bungalow led me to a closet, where I finally found a mop and went to town on my stomach’s content.
I was humming a little song to help lighten up my mood, but when I heard someone humming back to me from outside my whole demeanor changed. I quit cleaning immediately and snuck over to my backpack. As soon as I did that, the humming stopped and was replaced by a man’s voice.
“Sorry… Didn’t want to startle you there… Buddy!” the mysterious man said, with no discernable emotion in his voice.
I sat in silence, loading my rifle while I listened to the man outside. Sure, it was no bear, but random people hanging around your place in the middle of the night rarely spell good news. I waited for him to start speaking again, but he did not resume talking, no matter how long I sat there in silence. An hour had passed and still he had not said a word. I figured it was probably just a local drunk that found his way to the cabin, heard me hum, hummed along like a merry drunk guy would and then left because why not. Drunk guys do what drunk guys do. After coming up with this rational explanation, I went to sleep again, thinking about how weird that whole situation had been.
When I woke up in the morning my stomach pain was gone. I got out of bed, packed my stuff and headed to my truck. I noticed the scratches on the truck almost immediately. I remember thinking that it must have been that drunk guy from the night before and that I would make him pay for this if I ever saw him again. Angrily, I got in the car and drove over to the town hall. On my way there, I once again noticed the lack of people in the street. The road being empty on a Tuesday night made perfect sense, but not even one person having to drive to work on a Wednesday morning? That’s suspicious, and it should have been one of the many things that should’ve made me reconsider the job. My car needed a new paint job though, and even then, I’ve always been a stubborn bastard. As I drove, I thought I saw someone move behind a building in my rear view mirror, but I didn’t get a clear view of the person. I felt happy to see that there actually were people in this town, so I continued my drive.
When I got to the town hall the first thing I noticed was the broken window. That drunk guy must’ve vandalized more than just my truck, I thought at the moment. I got out of my car and walked up to the front door, which was open, and entered the building. Upon walking into the entrance hall I was met by a rotten smell. My vomit would’ve been all over the floor if it hadn’t been for my little adventure yesterday, that’s how bad it was. It smelled like a mixture of dead animals, fermenting plants and rotting milk. I considered turning around and leaving right then and there, but I decided to at least try to talk to the mayor, to find out what was going on. Curiosity killed the cat, I thought, but I was no cat. Stupid as I was, I didn’t bother going back to the car to get my rifle. What was the worst thing that could happen? Against better judgment, I went to search for the mayor.
When I found him, his body was lying on the floor, completely dead. He was missing an arm and his face. His torso had been ripped to shreds. His office had been completely ruined too, with random office supplies and some antique vases lying scattered on the floor, along with a picture of the mayor and his wife. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I heard a familiar voice coming from the hallway: the drunk guy from last night.
“Hey… I know you’re in here somewhere… Dude,” he said, his voice still as monotone as before.
His footsteps were heavy, growing louder with every step as he got closer and closer. Along with his footsteps, the sound of something being dragged across the floor could be heard. I even heard his breathing, heavy and labored, as he neared the mayor’s office. Suddenly, all of the sounds stopped. I knew he was right outside the door, waiting for me to make a move. I just sat there, regretting my choice of not taking my rifle with me. Then I realized something. I realized that I’m a 6’3 foot man who weighs 250 pounds and also used to be a boxer in his younger years. I got up with my fists ready to throw some punches and decided to make this man regret screwing with my car. I could hear the man scratching at the wall as I neared the door.
“Found you!” he yelled, his voice sounding more guttural than before.
I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder as my aggressor knocked me to the floor, followed by the warm sensation of blood flowing out of my wound. I remember thinking that the bastard had stabbed me.
The man jumped at me before I was able to regain my balance, forcing me to roll to the side to avoid him. That’s when I noticed that this “man” wasn’t a person at all. At the moment, all I could see was something vaguely bipedal, hunched over a bit and covered in long black fur. What I thought had been a knife were actually a set of long claws on each hand.
The creature began to turn towards me, and I took this as my sign to move. I picked up a vase that was lying next to me and threw it at the monster, hitting it straight in the head. Then I got up in an instant and booked it. As I was running, I could hear the creature following me closely behind. Its roars became more and more animalistic with each passing second, clearly enraged from my attempt to fight back. I practically jumped down the stairs, nearly breaking my legs in the process, after which I continued my sprint towards the door. Without thinking twice I just busted through the surprisingly weak door.
Once outside, I noticed more creatures coming at me in the corner of my eyes. Filled with adrenaline, I ran to my truck, got inside and started the engine. That’s when the creature from earlier came falling down in the parking space right next to me. The bastard had jumped through the first floor’s window. When it got up, I finally got a good look at the thing. The thing that I heard it drag across the floor was its tail, and the things that stabbed me and scratched my car were the massive claws on its hands. Yet the thing that got me the most, the thing that will forever haunt my dreams, was its face. Or, to put it in better words, the contorted face of a man, plastered over its head. It was the same face I saw on the mayor’s picture.
I stepped on the gas and floored it. While driving, I noticed more and more creatures started to give chase, each one wearing a different face. I drove as fast as I could until they were all out of sight and I had left the town. Even then, I did not drop my speed, probably committing multiple traffic violations as I drove. But I did not care. The stuff I saw there was way above my paygrade, and I wanted to get as far away from it as possible. I drove for hours, only stopping to tank my car.
This incident happened a few days ago. Currently, I’m still in the hospital, waiting for the wound in my shoulder to heal. The doctors say I’m lucky that I can still move my arm. Sure, I’m happy to be alive, but life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows for me. I’ve racked up more debt than the 2500 dollars can pay and as if that wasn’t enough, men in black suits have been interviewing me ever since I got here. So if you’re reading this, please just remember one thing: if some guy offers you 5000 dollars just to shoot a bear, stay away. Because there’s no way in hell those things were bears.

N.B.: I'm mainly looking for the games listed in the title and at the bottom of the thread. Feel free to post other offers, but if I haven't responded to your comment(s) by my next posting, I likely wasn't able to find a trade that interested me.
​
For sale (for Steam Gift Cards or gifted Steam Wallet balance):
​

• Dark Souls™: Prepare To Die™ Edition (removed from Steam Store; $350 $400 or best offer)
• Fall Guys (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Dragon Hugger Pack (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Icy Adventure Pack (removed from Steam Store)
• Marvel's Avengers - The Definitive Edition (removed from Steam Store)
• Spec Ops: The Line (removed from Steam Store)

​

• Humble Hunie Sakura Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Australia Fire Relief Bundle or similar))
• Humble Sekai Project Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Stand with Ukraine Bundle or similar))

​
For trade:
*signifies that a game is tentatively up for trade, assuming I buy the bundle
​

• Nioh 2 – The Complete Edition
• Soulstice
• Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Realms of Ruin – Ultimate Edition

​

• A Little to the Left
• Black Book

​

• Superliminal
• The Talos Principle Gold Edition
• The Witness

​

• Destroy All Humans! 2 - Reprobed
• Life is Strange: True Colors
• Scorn
• There Is No Light: Enhanced Edition

​

• Hellpoint
• Remnant: From the Ashes
• Tails of Iron

​

• Hell Pie
• OTXO
• The Red Lantern
• Twin Mirror

​

• Arkham Horror: Mother's Embrace
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition
• Gloomhaven - Solo Scenarios: Mercenary Challenges
• Small World
• Small World - A Spider's Web
• Small World - Be not Afraid...
• Small World - Cursed!
• Small World - Grand Dames
• Small World - Royal Bonus
• Splendor
• Splendor - The Cities
• Splendor - The Strongholds
• Splendor - The Trading Posts
• Terraforming Mars

​

• A Short Hike(?)
• A Story Beside(?)
• Aces & Adventures(?)
• Arcade Spirits(?)
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock(?)
• Beyond Blue(?)
• Cat Quest(?)
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!(?)
• EARTHLOCK(?)
• Harmony's Odyssey(?)
• Homeworld Remastered Collection(?)
• Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure(?)
• Minecraft: Java Edition - MCC Island Jingle Jam Rewards Pack(?)
• Monster Prom(?)
• Sifu Deluxe Cosmetic Pack(?)
• Spirit of the Island(?)
• SUPERHOT(?)
• Tinytopia(?)
• Toodee and Topdee(?)
• Train Valley 2(?)
• Turbo Golf Racing(?)
• Valthirian Arc: Hero School Story(?)
• Xenonauts(?)

​

• Angry Birds VR: Isle of Pigs

​

• Dark Deity
• Edge Of Eternity
• Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising

​

• CRYPTARK
• Dead Estate
• Paint the Town Red

​

• Lost Castle
• My Time At Portia

​

• Toodee and Topdee

​

• WWE 2K23

​

• Chivalry 2
• Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
• The Forgotten City
• GRIME
• Spiritfarer®: Farewell Edition

​

• Back 4 Blood
• Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham City - Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
• Batman™: Arkham Origins
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Mad Max
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
• Mortal Kombat 11
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Add-On Bundle
• Mortal Kombat XL

​

• Alan Wake Collector's Edition
• Bendy and the Dark Revival
• Pathologic 2

​

• CODE VEIN
• .hack//G.U. Last Recode
• Katamari Damacy REROLL
• TEKKEN 7

​

• A Juggler's Tale
• Spirit of the Island

​

• Boomerang Fu
• PlateUp!
• ROUNDS
• Stick Fight: The Game
• Ultimate Chicken Horse

​

• Fae Tactics
• Flynn: Son of Crimson
• Ikenfell
• Ring of Pain
• Void Bastards

​

• After the Fall® - Deluxe Edition
• Zero Caliber VR

​

• Patch Quest

​

• Five Dates
• Late Shift

​

• Demon Turf
• Pumpkin Jack

​

• Trover Saves the Universe

​

• Coromon
• The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos
• Jack Move

​

• Road 96
• SuchArt: Genius Artist Simulator

​

• A Short Hike

​

• Cloudpunk
• Ghostrunner
• Severed Steel

​

• Eternal Threads
• Turbo Golf Racing

​

• Lethal League Blaze
• OlliOlli World
• WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS

​

• Dragon Fist: VR Kung Fu
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners

​

• Celeste

​

• Blasphemous
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
• Hollow Knight

​

• Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery

​

• Bionic Commando: Rearmed
• Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
• Lost Planet 3 - Complete
• Mega Man Legacy Collection
• STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®

​

• Aground
• Calico
• Evan's Remains
• StarCrossed
• Teacup

​

• Into the Radius VR

​

• Aliens: Fireteam Elite
• Founders' Fortune
• Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp

​

• Nomad Survival
• Scarlet Tower

​

• The Citadel
• Viscerafest
• WRATH: Aeon of Ruin

​

• The Blackout Club

​

• BIOMUTANT
• Edge Of Eternity
• Golden Light

​

• Call of the Sea
• Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice

​

• 112 Operator
• 911 Operator
• The Amazing American Circus
• Armello
• Backbone
• Calico
• Euro Truck Simulator 2
• Farming Simulator 17
• Ghostrunner
• Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
• Lust from Beyond: M Edition
• Monaco: What's Yours Is Mine
• Orbital Racer
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition
• PAYDAY 2
• Pilgrims
• Soulblight
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Starfinder Core Rulebook (Paizo key) and Starfinder Adventure: Junker's Delight (Paizo key)
• Strange Brigade
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• System Shock 2
• System Shock: Enhanced Edition
• Ticket to Ride
• XCOM® 2
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack

​

• Fallout: A Post Nuclear Role Playing Game
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Othercide
• Shady Part of Me

​

• The Last Campfire

​

• Sakura Swim Club

​

• Summer in Mara
• Townscaper

​

• The Long Dark: Survival Edition

​

• Stranded Sails - Explorers of the Cursed Islands

​

• Conan Chop Chop
• Grow: Song of the Evertree

​

• Styx: Shards of Darkness

​

• Hard West
• John Wick Hex
• Phantom Doctrine
• Red Solstice 2: Survivors

​

• Arizona Sunshine

​

• Backbone
• Blade Assault
• First Class Trouble
• Super Magbot

​

• Golf Gang
• Maid of Sker

​

• Vampire: The Masquerade - Coteries of New York
• Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest

​

• Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl

​

• Crown Trick

​

• Guts and Glory
• Hello Neighbor

​

• Day of the Tentacle Remastered
• Grim Fandango Remastered
• Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
• STAR WARS®: Knights of the Old Republic™ II

​

• Duke Nukem Forever
• PGA TOUR 2K21
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds

​

• In Sound Mind

​

• Little Big Workshop
• Not Tonight

​

• Brigador Deluxe Edition
• Verdun

​

• Resident Evil 0
• Resident Evil 6
• Resident Evil

​

• EVERSPACE™

​

• Cultist Simulator
• GWENT: The Witcher Card Game - Ultimate Starter Pack (GOG key)

​

• The LEGO® NINJAGO® Movie Video Game

​

• Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
• Legion TD 2 - Multiplayer Tower Defense

​

• STAR WARS™: Squadrons (Origin key)(?)

​

• Bionic Commando
• Street Fighter V

​

• As Far As The Eye
• Impulsion

​

• Orcs Must Die! 2 - Complete Pack

​

• Bartlow's Dread Machine

​

• Blaston

​

• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School

​

• The Walking Dead

​

• Total Tank Simulator

​

• Archangel: Hellfire - Fully Loaded

​

• XCOM® 2

​

• Black The Fall
• Goetia

​

• Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition

​

• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• This War of Mine

​

• Tom Clancy's The Division™ (Uplay key)
• Tom Clancy's The Division™ - Survival (Uplay key)

​

• Highway Blossoms
• HunieCam Studio
• KARAKARA
• Sunrider Academy
• Sunrider: Liberation Day - Captain's Edition

​

• A Kiss For the Petals - Remembering How We Met

​

• Hacknet
• Satellite Reign

​

• The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing: Final Cut

​

• The Elder Scrolls: Legends: 2 Card Packs (Skyrim) 1 Event Ticket 100 Gold 100 Souls
• ESO Vanity Pet: Bristlegut Piglet and 15 Days of ESO Plus

​

• Ame no Marginal -Rain Marginal-
• KARAKARA
• Memory's Dogma CODE:01
• Narcissu 10th Anniversary Anthology Project
• Narcissu 10th Anniversary Anthology Project - Season Pass

​

• A Kiss For the Petals - Remembering How We Met
• Sakura Angels
• Beach Bounce
• Beach Bounce - Soundtrack
• Blue Rose

​

• Lionessy Story
• My Personal Angel
• Natural - Beyond Nature -
• Postmen Of Horizon (removed from Steam Store)

​

• The Reject Demon: Toko Chapter 0 — Prelude

​

• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards]
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
• Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
• Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire

​

• Guns of Icarus Alliance
• Guns of Icarus Online
• Impossible Creatures Steam Edition
• Lethal League
• Tempest: Pirate Action RPG
• Tempest - Treasure Lands
• Tempest - Original Soundtrack
• Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide

​

• Tenta Shooter
• Gun Gun Pixies
• DUSK
• For The King
• Book of Demons
• PlateUp!
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
• Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
• Chivalry: Medieval Warfare
• Steel Rats™
• Hue
• Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (Epic key)
• Gal*Gun: Double Peace
• The Invisible Hours
• Synergia
• ROCKETRON
• Project Nimbus: Complete Edition
• Dead Age
• Spirit Hunter: NG
• Slain: Back from Hell(?)
• Cook, Serve, Delicious!
• Tower of Time
• Danger Scavenger
• Survive the Nights
• Valfaris
• Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
• This War of Mine

​

• Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Here Be Dragons

​

• 112 Operator
• 911 Operator
• Book of Demons
• Broken Age
• Brothers - A Tale of Two Sons
• Crying Suns
• Crying Suns
• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• Liberated (GOG key)
• Moon Hunters
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG key)
• WARSAW
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC (I believe this redeems as the linked Complete Pack, minus the soundtrack)
• ΔV: Rings of Saturn(?)

​

• Arcade Paradise
• Calico
• Say No! More
• Fallout: A Post Nuclear Role Playing Game
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Phoenix Point: Year One Edition
• Deliver Us The Moon
• Morkredd
• Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
• Spirit Hunter: NG
• Survivalist: Invisible Strain
• Warhammer: Vermintide 2
• ENDLESS™ Space 2
• Surviving the Aftermath
• The Long Dark

​

• Duck Game
• SCP: Secret Files
• WWE 2K23
• The Jackbox Party Pack
• Outward (redeems as the base game only, not the linked Definitive Edition)
• Outward - The Soroboreans
• Outward Soundtrack
• Blade Assault
• Founders' Fortune
• Hokko Life
• Monster Crown
• Othercide
• Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous - Enhanced Edition
• ScourgeBringer
• Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey
• HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED™
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Sonic CD (removed from Steam Store)
• LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 1-4
• LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 5-7
• STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®
• Bionic Commando
• Full Metal Furies
• Ultra Street Fighter® IV
• Starbound
• Mafia III: Sign of the Times
• BioShock 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Sherlock Holmes: The Devil's Daughter
• The Mean Greens - Plastic Warfare
• Crusaders of the Lost Idols Legendary Starter Pack
• Project CARS (removed from Steam Store)

​
WANT:
​

• 5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel
• Astebreed: Definitive Edition
• Avernum: Escape from the Pit
• BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger
• CrossCode
• Dead Rising 4
• Dungreed
• Mega Man X Legacy Collection 2
• Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection
• Mortal Kombat Komplete Edition
• Myst (2021)
• NBA 2K23
• NECROPOLIS: BRUTAL EDITION
• Omensight: Definitive Edition
• OPUS: Echo of Starsong - Full Bloom Edition
• OPUS: Rocket of Whispers
• OPUS: The Day We Found Earth
• Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
• RAGE
• Resident Evil Village
• The Jackbox Party Pack 5
• The Jackbox Party Pack 6
• The Jackbox Party Pack 7
• Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap
• Zombie Army 4: Dead War

​

• any extra copies of WWE 2K23

​
IGS Rep Page: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ti26nz/mizznos_igs_rep_page/

When I first started working at the docks, there was a story that used to go around, mouth to mouth, among my fellow workers. Each time, the details would change but the main idea always remained the same.
It was a story about an old man who lived in a cabin by the sea with his dog Ishiki. His wife had passed away when their children were still young, leaving him to raise them alone, and, to make sure that food would always be on the table, he quit his job as a writer and started working at the docks loading and unloading the ships’ cargoes. His dog, always by his side, could often be seen helping him carry the heavier loads and taking his place when each noon, he had to rush back home to make sure there was a meal ready for his three children when they returned from school. Then he would quickly piece together some bread and cheese and eat his meal on his way back to the docks. As it was a tough job and paid little, after his shift had ended, he ran the streets with a basket filled with an assortment of unclaimed or confiscated goods that he had stolen from the dock’s warehouse. He would thus supplement his meagre income by selling his ware in the dark back alleys of his town. And as he was careful not to take anything that would be missed, he was never caught and soon his fame rose along with his clientele. He became somewhat notorious and people came out of town to see him and try his goods. Ishiki was by his side even during these hours, protecting him from shady individuals and advising him on whom to trust.
At night, when he came back home, he sat by the fireplace, exhausted, with a prick in his chest and a hole in his stomach (Ishiki fast asleep by his feet), and watched the flames as they wobbled and twirled. And each night, as the dance of the flames made his head nod, his eyes began to burn. Soon his cheeks turned wet and his throat tightened. And yet instead of a cry, laughter escaped his lips. And then he would forget everything. His sorrow, his job at the docks, his shame, his uncertain future.
And so the years went by and his children started growing up and soon they were all gone, each of them left to chase their dreams and passions. His eldest son, Albert, moved to Zurich, to work for a large company. Being resourceful and ruthless (albeit not that smart), he soon started climbing the ranks and found himself in the company’s executive group earning a yearly salary that exceeded all the money his father had seen in his lifetime. He married a cold but beautiful art dealer and had two spoiled children. The daughter, Laura, decided to go to Sweden to study medicine. Being the smartest of the three, she earned a full scholarship for one of Stockholm's best universities. She eventually became a renowned doctor, working at a geriatrics centre on the mobility of elderly individuals. She never had kids, nor a serious relationship, and she gave herself wholeheartedly to her research (Despite her success, she failed to provide her father the help he needed for his rheumatic feet). And the youngest, Daniel, fell in love with an actor from Japan. He met him one night in the city, where they were shooting a Japanese drama (whose plot he couldn’t remember or understand). Paying no attention to the actor’s words, he would listen with eyes wide open, enchanted by the music of his speech and the new sensations he offered him. When the filming was done, he followed him back to Japan. At first, the old man would call his children often, eager to learn about their lives and accomplishments but as they were not so eager to share their stories with him he stopped.
Thus, the old man was left alone with his dog as his sole companion. Having nothing better to do now that there was no one to look after, he rose every morning at five, had some dried fruits with a piece of bread and walked with Ishiki to the beach while it was still empty of swimmers, sunbathers, and aspiring models. There, he would close his eyes and by raising his hands and tilting his head backwards, he began to move to the rhythm of the waves. He didn’t mind his loneliness while he was swaying and twisting. Neither did he notice his ailing feet. The sound of the sea, the breeze, and the dancing filled him with something he couldn't quite explain. Then his eyes would fill with tears and by putting his chest forth he would burst into strange laughter. If someone were to ask him, right at that moment, what he felt, he might have said that it resembled the air in the lungs of the birds.

Might be a weird comparison, but you can really make the argument that every member of HOT has their own realistic and animalistic counterpart:
1. Yujiro Takahashi - Common Lizard
Reptiles are old, very old. Yujiro might be a little younger, but the point is that they've been around since the age of the dinosaurs. Back then, a small little lizard might have been special in a sense that it's surviving in a planet dominated by literal giants, but that poor creature was never going to prosper. That's basically the story of Yujiro's career - No Limit, CHAOS, Bullet Club or HOT, he has always been the most basic member. Moreover, the common lizard is the most widespread reptile on Earth anyway, which is in correlation with the fact that every wrestling stable, nay, every friend group has their own Yujiro - basic ass bitch.
2. Dick Togo - Chameleon
Being a chameleon is Dick's character anyway - commentary always points out how he's survived and thrived in the wrestling business for decades, by always maneuvering around and adopting new strategies. The art of deception is a chameleon's way of survival, and that's exactly what Dick's done his entire career. Furthermore, Dick influencing EVIL to turn heel from the shadows is the epitome of such behavior, and even his actual debut with the company mimics this - Dick took off a BUSHI mask to finally reveal his true identity.
3. Yoshinobu Kanemaru - Turtle
Much like Yujiro and Dick, Uncle Nobu is an aged heel (coincides with him being a turtle, as turtles are far more sneaky and twisted than people give them credit for) that is still kicking at a decent level despite his age. Much like a turtle, Nobu is adaptable - water, land, sand (Junior matches, Six Mans, Tags), both of these creatures have done it all. Yoshinobu is cold-blooded, kind of lazy, opportunistic, and minimalistic in a sense that his own brand of specialized water (whiskey) gives him serenity. Turtles are often met with question marks from people when they find out they're reptiles, which works perfectly for Nobu being in HOT, since going through a goth phase at 40+ years old is not a every-day occurrence.
4. SHO - Snake
The long-awaited R3K split saw SHO adapt a heavy snake-related theme in his clothing, gear, and even logo, which worked well with his new Goro Majima-esque lunatic persona. However, even in terms of appearance and personality, SHO fits magnificently. As the smallest member of the group, he is sinuous, dexterous, vindictive, cunning, and often head-scratching in his methods (like miscellaneously cheating and biting lower body parts eh?). Snakes are known to be colorful creatures (how many hair colors has this man had), that prefer smaller prey (Junior Heavyweights perhaps?), on top of having some strange physiological characteristics. Snakes don't have lips, so SHO's signature "mouth-covering" shocked face pose works flawlessly with that fact.
5. Ren Narita - Alligator
Nevermind the fact that Narita's mouthguard resembles gator teeth, the young personifies this devilish creature in several ways. Alligators, much like common lizards, have been around since powerful dinosaurs, so it's only natural that 'gators are their successors, modern counterparts that share some of their characteristics. We can tie this with the point of Narita being the spiritual successor of some of New Japan's most evil and devious wrestlers, like Masahiro Chono, Minoru Suzuki and EVIL himself, with the final two even formally mentoring Narita. Alligators are incredibly fast water creatures, and slow yet very agile on land, which correlates with Ren's wrestling style of being a mix of a rapid-fire technician, and a slow, methodical brawler. Finally, alligators are arguably the most intelligent reptile predator, that love to poach unsuspecting prey by using their tails to push themselves up, jump, and snatch you forever. Similarly, Ren's likely doing the same thing to the House itself very, very soon...
6. EVIL - Scorpion
And then there was EVIL. While not a reptile, that fact actually works well in relation with EVIL, and not just because both of them are nocturnal creatures. He's the only one in HOT that's never really changed, he's always been into the dark stuff, while all the others are just brainwashed cult followers. Like a scorpion, EVIL has used his poison to influence others, and create a small army of mini versions of him. EVIL is the largest, the most aggressive, and the most dangerous member, due to his experience and unnerving charisma, which is why The House is his... for now.

If you're curious about my thoughts on previous Yakuza games, here are my much shorter (except for 4, thats pretty long too) reviews for Kiwami 1, Kiwami 2, Yakuza 3 (Remastered), and Yakuza 4 (Remastered).
All of my reviews are made pretty quickly after I finish the game, this was written right after I finished but I haven't posted it till a month later because its so long I thought no one would ever read this but whatever I gotta get my truth out there.
Per usual I played the remaster of Yakuza 5. I'm not sure of any outstanding changes or things of note like with 3 or 4, but if something I say is exclusive to the remaster please let me know! I may sound overly praising or overly critical of this game, who knows but please be kind when you tell me i'm an idiot for feeling the way I do! Lastly and most importantly please please please don't spoil future games in the comments! Also warning I'm way too active in the comments section.
Because I am an utter psycho and decided to write a fuckin bibles worth of yakuza 5 ramblings, Part 1 is just reviewing the plot and Part 2 goes over everything else. I split this up last second so there's likely some spots where I say something like "we'll expand on this later" then I never bring it up again, that's because it's probably in part 2. If you want my thoughts on things like the substories, side stories, gameplay, and settings you can read Part 2 here: https://www.reddit.com/yakuzagames/comments/1cvrybw/yakuza_5_a_mega_big_ole_reviewsummary_for_a_big/
The Plot:
Like with Y4, I will discuss my thoughts on each section of the game rather than in one long chunk just because I find it more fun. I'm not even gonna try to not summarize this time because this game is so big it needs broken down.
Part 1: Kiryu
You might often find me compare Y5 to Y4 a lot in this review because they're honestly quite similar games and feel like a package. When I started playing 4 I was worried I wouldn't like playing as primarily strangers for a majority of the game, but one thing they did absolutely right was making Kiryu the final protagonist you play as in that game. So going into 5 I was very apprehensive about starting off with Kiryu, I worried they showed their hand too soon and that it would be difficult to stay invested the whole time.
With this feeling going into the game, I was immediately somewhat losing it over Kiryu being an incognito taxi driver with the worst disguise of all time (some sunglasses and a face mask, don't worry he's literally the only one in the game that seems to think it's a good disguise). Right off the bat, this game feels...sad. Kiryu watching Haruka giving an interview on the TV and storming out rather then defend her to some losers who don't get what ART is, was SAD. This part of the game felt so mundane for awhile, but not in a bad way! You wakeup as Kiryu, walk to work, drive your taxi, and go home late at night (usually) alone. The whole time my eyes were drawn to a facedown picture frame and wondering what it could be, but I certainly had a guess. Kiryu is going through a hard, isolating, and depressing time and you can feel that so well from the game and how they have you play as him. Anyways there's also a random gal named Mayumi that will not leave Kiryu alone despite him asking her to. All you're doing by the end of chapter one is going "Huhhhhhhh?" Anyways Kiryu is approached by two dudes named Morinaga and Aizawa in chapter 2, telling him Daigo was???? Kidnapped?? GASP.. Admittidly I wasn't too fond of this duo at first. One thing that was consistent through my playthrough is that I was completely incapable of predicting anything correctly, and it had felt like these two were gonna be my pals for the rest of the game and I just wasn't clicking with them. Not to mention this weird semi-one sided-romance going on with Mayumi.
In chapter 3, we begin with the most heartbreaking thing that could ever happen to me, Yakuza 3 superfan. Kiryu has been pushed out of running the orphanage by a lady named Miss Park. It's all making sense now. He does it so the orphanage can have money and so Haruka can follow her dreams. DOESNT MAKE IT EASIER TO DEAL WITH FOR ME :( . Then we meet Watase, first thoughts? I was like "god I hope this guy isn't the main villain he's kinda lame" Soon after we meet Aoyama and I thought literally the same thing. Clearly by this point in the game I didn't have the highest hopes. I was mostly sad and not liking most of the new characters. But then... things take a turn.
Mayumi was actually a spy! thank god honestly. Kiryu meets Aoyama again but then Morinaga shows up and fuckin kills Aoyama and says he buried Aizawa alive HOLY SHIT? and then soon after I'm told Majima is fucking dead. Figured he wasn't actually dead cuz I've seen pictures of him from later games but holy shit I somehow cried just at the THOUGHT of him being dead. Also at some point here we met a detective who is an important player in this story but at this point not too integral. Also before Kiryu leaves he picks up the picture frame and its the orphanage ;-;
Kiryu final thoughts: This part of the game was fantastic. I'm so glad they started with Kiryu in this case despite my initial unsureness with it. Chapter 4 especially is when everything really falls into place and starts going 100 miles an hour but I also love the slowness of the previous 3 chapters. I do wish we got more Morinaga as this is unfortunately the last we hear of him despite this being a wonderful set up to a really interesting villain. Mayumi was a pretty shit character per seemingly always with any full grown woman in Yakuza games. While I think it's cool she was secretly a spy she was clearly an afterthought as we never hear about her again so that's cool. Basically a mixed bag of new characters overall.
Part 2: Saejima
I jokingly said to myself "Wouldn't it be funny if I had to spend half of this section breaking out of prison again. Thank god that's not the case." and continued hanging out with Majima until I was arrested for two more years of serving my sentence and OH NO IM BACK IN THE BUILDING.
Yeah I was VERY unsure about breaking out of prison again being a good call. Thankfully, and sorry to Y4, this is a much better prison sequence. Another thing I was really unsure about was BALD SAEJIMA! But actually... it kinda slays harder? In Y4 he looks like that guy from the game The Hatred (an insult) maybe it wouldn't be so bad if bro washed or brushed it but he never did and so instead bald was a slay. Anyways We're dropped in at nearly the end of Saejima's serving period with his group of friends/cellmates, newest one being some dude named Baba. We are relentlessly tortured by the scariest man I've ever seen, Viktor Zsasz-I MEAN! Kugihara. Who's honestly scarier looking then Zsasz somehow. But it is ON because Viktor Zsasz framed my bestie Baba and I will not let that slide so I beat the fuck out of him and it's revealed Zsasz was instructed to be a dick to me. By who??????????????????? Then it's double revealed to me that Majima is dead and I'm sad all over again :(
Turns out our warden is actually really chill and nice and somewhat tries to help us survive. What a breath of fresh air after Satan (Saito) from Y4. This guy is so cool infact we are encouraged to break out by him. So Baba and I do in the dead of the night and tell me why I cried over leaving my two other cellmates ;_; they were such bros. Zsasz hinders my escape and we fight, but my absolute PAL Himura fuckin shoots him it was an amazing turn of events and I cheered so loud and was devastated to leave him behind but anyways-
FUCK YEA SNOW MOBILES (they were kinda jank to control honestly but its the thought that counts). I am so glad I didn't know I was going to be fighting a bear going into this because that was easily the most camp thing ever and so hilarious. Then some old guy saves me (and later Baba) and we chill in the mountains for a little while. The mountain has a whole crazy detailed side story of it's own that I'll explain in more detail later but basically it was cool.
So then a ton of important stuff happens in Tsukimino, most notably we hang out with Baba in a bar which is great because I love Baba and him and I are super tight and he's easily the only person I could ever trust at this point without potential for betrayal! :)
Anyways me and Baba fuckin kidnap this guy because his chair is by a sewer manhole? He's gone in a flash so all I can imagine is dragging him down the hole by his ankle or something. Then we talk for awhile, Majima is mentioned woohoo, THEN HE'S sniped! The way I gasped. Longstory short :( Baba is the one who sniped him and not only that he kind of set everything up and wasn't my best pal all along :( Why Baba Why? Then Baba basically confesses his love for Saejima and can't go through with killing him, AAAAAAND Im back on the Baba train. That detective I mentioned from earlier arrests Saejima but not to throw him back in jail, to assemble the Yakuza avengers.
Final Saejima thoughts: This was shockingly fantastic. I was probably least impressed with Saejima's section in Y4, so it was shocking to have basically the same structure and general narrative beats but done well. It wasn't perfect, I didn't love it as much as Kiryu's section as I'm partial to a slow burn, but it was fun I have no real complaints, except MAYBE more then one chapter in Tsukimino would be a better choice.
Part 3 (first half): Haruka
I did not know I was going to get the HONOR of playing Haruka going into this game. We start off very strong, dancing to the greatest song of all time "So Much More." I mean we really get the full idol experience here with mean ass teachers and shady management. I didn't expect to get an Idol simulator in my Yakuza game but it might be the best thing ever. I decided right off the bat to put everything I had into this section of the game so immediately I did literally everything I could. Most of this chapter feels like a bit of a reflection of Kiryu's were working and going back home alone, it's all as monotonous and isolating as can be (except you're a predebut idol) and I love this. We quickly meet a girl who will serve as my bestie named Akari and yes I indeed would die for her thank you. Meeting Akari introduces us to this sections version of combat, DANCE BATTLES! I know some people might be disappointed you don't get to punch people as Haruka, and I get that, but this feels like a more genuine gameplay style for her character. It's hard to imagine Haruka fighting thugs in the street due to her personality (not that i'd be against it, especially after that weird virtual reality game where I get to wack dudes with a wand) plus I found this gameplay style so refreshing. I was never groaning or sighing because I had to dance against someone. I think it helps that I wasn't forced to do it 15 times in a row walking down the street, but I had the option to most of the time unless it was part of a quest. Maybe that's how all the gameplay should be? I don't mind being approached by thugs sometimes but it always feels like it happens too often in these games and with getting the option to while getting to walk around carefree otherwise in Haruka's section was just SO NICE.
Anyways, We get the whole set up here, we are participating in a competition show that will single handedly set the course for our debut. We're competing against this band called T-set. I hate them so much. They're so mean :(. At some point we see Miss Park absolutely SLAY and tell off Haruka's dance teacher and she doesn't take his shit at all. At this point I was like "Uh ohhhh I don't wanna like her but...she kinda rocks" my decent into stanning Miss Park only continues from there. We have to go convince some guy named Christina (interesting name to take but also a slay, much respect to Mr. Christina and his fedora) to be our new dance instructor. This causes drama with me and Akari which devastated me because I love Akari but we made up like immediately so it's chill.
Then at one point, I forgot the context, Haruka is shopping for a gift for Miss Park when stupid T-set shows up and STEPS ON THE BROACH I BOUGHT FOR HER. I was back and forth on them until now, now they may burn in hell. Especially after they made Haruka get on her knees and beg for forgiveness like ???? what gives ??? Park shows up and SLAYS and gets rid of them. Park then wears the broach :(((((((((
Then one of my favorite parts happen in chapter 2, Haruka and Miss Park go hit the town and just bond together. It's so stinking cute I wanted to cry. This whole time I was trying to not get emotionally attached to Park because it really felt like she was gonna end up betraying us. But the night continued and we get some mother daughter vibes going, even so far as holding hands????? Also Im somewhat glad I didn't get to wear the outfit I bought at the store with Park because I was going for a Cheetah girls inspired look then realized far too late how tacky that might come off, not everyone is Raven Symone ya know?
Anyways at this point I'm like wow this is the cutest game ever, nothing can ever go wrong, Park MIGHT betray me but I don't even care. She gives us a cool pen and a tragic anime backstory with an abusive ex husband and everything and we call it a night Well the next fuckin day my world crumbles because PARK IS DEAD! She "committed suicide" as if!
Part 3 (second half): Akiyama
I can't tell you how devastated I was to realize I'd only get to play as Akiyama for half of a section of the game. However, I was also thrilled to see him at all. Apparently he's opening a Satenbori office and also he is the one who financed Park's dream to debut Haruka so that's how he has a hand in all this. There is tragically very little Hana, she calls you twice and both times were fantastic but I wish I had more :(. Anyways Akiyama has heard about Park's death and goes to the office and meets Haruka. I didn't think they'd even really know each other and assumed we'd have an interesting reveal that they both know Kiryu later but nah they know each other. It honestly probably works better this way because we don't have time for such trivial things! Akiyama is a fuckin detective now. I don't know why he has been tasked to do this but he does it so well I don't even mind. He quickly figures out Park didn't actually kill herself and they simply need evidence to prove this. I'm unsure when this happens but at some point while talking about the mystery SOMEONE FALLS OFF THE ROOF! It was Horie :( who I haven't mentioned yet but he's my manager and a real pal. Thankfully he lived but we found out that the former dance teacher pushed him off. I think he also killed Park or Kanai did, who knows, either way someone did and they suck for it.
Chapter 4 has a lot going on, but basically the president of Osaka talent is sus and he's also the secret chairman of Ousaka Enterprises, which is a different thing... but sounds similar. Ousaka is basically a higher up family in the Omi alliance, so he's part of the bad yakuza!!! Haruka keeps doing the competition and T-set keeps sucking. She wins the princess league by a landslide. I don't even see the point in a third round if she won both of the other rounds? Is the third round just worth more points? Either way Haruka destroyed them and they suck. Her poor vocal instructor is working as her manager now. At some point we find out Parks ex husband was none other then Majima! Which is quite the revelation. Japan is such a small world, everyone seems to know each other. This does mean that Majima at least hit Park (I think after her abortion) and I think he's like 10 years older then her yet they were already married when she debuted at eighteen... Is it time for me to confront the possibility that my favorite crazed murderer might not be the most upstanding citizen?
It ends with Haruka being kidnapped, (nothing out of character there), and Akiyama saving her. He and Haruka make their way to Japan for the big ole concert Park had been planning. Wow this story is really picking up! I hope nothing grinds it to a sudden stop!
Part 3 final thoughts: God this was amazing, every step of it. My only complaint is I wanted more, more Akiyama and MORE dancing but I might be the only one who wanted 40 more hours of dancing. Detective Akiyama and Haruka duo was not the team I knew I needed but Im glad it happened. I found all of the music and gameplay here SO fun and I loved the plot too. I really liked Parks character. I wouldn't necessarily hang out with her, but I found her to be pretty well written and its hard to hate anyone Haruka clearly treasures, I am very sad she is actually dead because up until the end of the game I kept thinking she was going to come back.
Part 4: Shinada:
We have come to a sudden stop. We start with a flashback to 1997 where Shinada has debuted as a baseball player for the wyverns, don't forget this moment because the rest of this section of the game constantly calls back to it. In the modern day Shinada is a loser who is really heavily indebt and lives in a weird grimey rooftop shack. He also now writes like ? smut articles ? And he's friend with a girl named Milky which is the craziest name I've ever heard. A loanshark who talks about his kids a lot constantly follows Shinada around and takes his money. There was a lot of promise with this gag, like maybe instead of letting me keep the 100k and still acting like I'm broke he shows up after every side mission to rob me but nope. At the end of the chapter we run into a masked man who is frankly just Daigo stealing Kiryu's disguise idea.
Shinada and loanshark (his name is Takasugi) walk around town looking for leads on uncovering the truth of Shinada's past. Because you see, Shinada one time got fired from baseball cuz everyone thought he cheated, oh you already knew that? yeah same but don't worry you'll hear it at least 40 more times. Daigo asked him to go look for clues about this, why does he care? I still don't know honestly. Takasugi is forcing him to go because...I guess money? and he's walking around with me and were acting like friends now for some reason. Shinada is incapable of having any agency for himself, he just does what people tell him to. He also keeps nearly dying like a looney tunes character with shit falling out of the sky and stuff. Eventually we find out the Nagoya family fixed the match and then some guy Shinada used to know does get smashed like a looney tunes character. Skip ahead, were called to help by Milky and she betrayed us. I am sad cuz I thought Milky was a friend for life. Turns out literally everyone Shinada knows aside from the fkn loanshark are evil, even the old baseball lady. This plot was so convoluted I frankly don't understand why they were doing what they were doing, all I know is they were more like a neighborhood watch situation then Yakuza even though they seemed to do the exact same thing. Also when I say literally everyone he knows is evil I mean everyone, even his old coach or whatever. For way too long I thought they meant the middle school baseball coach so I was hella confused. Anyways we then find out that actually Takasugi is Shinada's number one baseball fan. Okay? Anyways
Chapter 4 things finally pick up a little. Daigo reveals himself like anyone ever was doubting it was him, and he also reveals he cares because he went to highschool with Shinada. Is that fr how were connecting this? Daigo got expelled from highschool because he protected Shinada from a rival school. Once again, okay? I guess Shinada doesn't like that Daigo is a yakuza and punches him out the door. I wasn't a fan of this. Daigo goes down pretty easily, pitiful Daigo strikes again. I love him but can he do anything right? Anyways I guess the fight meant nothing cuz they're pals now and go to Tokyo together. We get a cut to Takasugi getting his money back from Shinada as well as a signed baseball...okay that's really cute I nearly cried. I wish they actually left it there but instead Shinada runs away last minute to meet up on that stupid baseball field from 1997 that we cant go 5 minutes without hearing about and we fight this guy named Sawada who was like the kind of mastermind and also the pitcher. Had Sawada not thrown an easy pitch, Shinada wouldn't have hit it and thus been kicked out for cheating. We fight some Omi then play baseball and OMG WHY ARE WE DOING THISSSSSS
Finally it ends and we go to Tokyo
Shinada final thoughts: If you cant tell I was not a fan of this. I found Shinada to be really inconsitently written. In side missions or when he's playing off of certain characters he's quite entertaining and un, but most of the time, he seems to just be a blank slate who does whatever and only talks about baseball. And omg maybe if I liked baseball this would have been the best thing ever but we did not need THAT much baseball talk or constant referencing to that baseball game in 1997. I get its central to his character but it became a meme how often he'd get misty eyed and talk about getting kicked out. Why did he move Nagoya to escape his image as a cheating baseball player when 1) he constantly talks about it anyways, 2) everyone literally knows who he is here anyways. They make it seem like at first he wants nothing to do with baseball anymore but he also goes to the batting cages all the time and also thinks about nothing but baseball. The plot here is just SO hard to follow and not at all what I want to be dealing with after we were really in the thick of things with part 3's ending. I'm not saying it was impossible for this to be good, I think there was so much potential here! Like seemingly all of Yakuza 4, the concepts are there but the execution is iffy. I think it's biggest downfall is when it happens. It would have made so much more sense to make the last section before the finale the Haruka section. Shinada would have felt much better to play as maybe as a part two or even a part three, but NOT part four. The odds were stacked against him being amongst a cast of characters that I already know and love. I definitely was more of a Tanimura fan, but I liked Shinada as a person. His inconsistent writing, unfortunate story, and tendency to be a little annoying really dragged this part of the game down for me.
Part 5: The Finale
This finale is crazyyyyyyy so strap in. I would expect nothing less then insanity from this game. First Kiryu shows up in Kamurocho WERE HOME BABYYYYYY. Were being followed by BABA!! I missed him. We fight for fun or something then we cut to Saejima who is meeting with the detective who tells us we gotta find Morinaga. OH YEAH THAT GUY. So we go to the Florist and we go to the arena only to find... AIZAWA??? The fuck? I thought Morinaga fuckin killed him cold blooded and made me think he was a cool as fuck villain. Only to find out that GASP Morinaga is actually dead. At this point I literally don't believe it because I guess I was in my era of not believing anyone ever dies.
We go to Akiyama who is told by Osaka ceo to not let Haruka perform. Akiayam says hell no. We also find out that Park and him planned to make Haruka and T-set a group and debut them at the same time but I somehow missed this when playing and didnt realize that till way leter. ANYWAY At some point we also see the CEO doing naked push ups in his penthouse which was so weird. ALSO there is a Date-san reveal. The scream I screamt! I didn't know I missed him or needing him so much in a game till I saw him again. Usually I'm wondering why he's even there or what he adds but I finally get it now, he adds being Date to the table and that's all you need.
Then I do a tower sweep at Kamurocho hills and OMG is this what Majima was building the whole time? To be fully honest it's beautiful and im very proud but its so different and lowkey off-putting. Kind of like Majima himself. I miss him. A whole game and I only be hearing about him second hand its not fair. Question, did literally anyone choose Saejima to do the tower sweep? Anyway were on the top of the tower; Kiryu, Saejima, CEO Katsuya, and Watase. We all have to fight eachother to draw out the one true bad guy and also cuz this is a yakuza game, so off our shirts go and everyone fights. Basically everyone gets shot and the bad guy is revealed... THE DETECTIVE. Who saw it coming? I still kept thinking Park would come back or Morinaga but by this point I was definitely suspecting him too. I don't fully get why he's doing all this but long story short he's purging both the Omi and Tojo of nice? Yakuza? I guess? I think it mostly has to do with him making way for his son to inherit a role in everything but thats not further explored till later. Not to worry tho! Daigo has shown up!!!! But because he is Daigo you should definitely be worried because once again he cant do anything right and he gets shot by Kanai. God dammit Daigo. He is now in critical condition, this is the SECOND TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED DAIGO. He's such a damsel in distress, never change.
Baba tells Haruka the message Kiryu had for her, to never give up. He also asks her to come with him to convince to Kiryu to chillax but she refuses. Sad for no one but me. At the New Serena, where that absolute BOP of a song is blaring, Kiryu is sleeping, while the rest of the crew are chilling and chatting. I forgot to mention Akiyama and Shinada briefly teamed up but frankly who cares. Shinada talks about baseball alot here too just incase you were worried he wouldnt. They conclude that detective bad guy is gonna attack Haruka's concert which I will NEVER allow. I guess Shinada's purpose here is actually tha the knows the stadiuk layout pretty well which I will buy in to. Also I believe here Haruka gets told about her and t-set being a band together now called Dreamline. I also dont love this. The idea of it is fine, Im all for a disney channel original movie plot where the bullies are actually great and we all become friends at the end but the issue is they don't properly develop T-set to do that. The short haired girl gets one little moment of being somewhat nice to Haruka then the very next time I see her she's stepping on my boss's broach and making me beg on my knees like sorry but it's really hard to come around on liking them. Even now when Haruka stumbles duing practice they're rude! This is a tragic ending if anything but Haruka seems happy I guess... Dont worry they will be nothing more then Haruka's glorifed backup dancers.
Okay final chapter, and it's a doozy. We send Shinada of all people to go help Haruka at the stadium, I know i just said I get he knows the layout of the stadium but like :( he's literally the only one who hasn't met her. I guess they don't end up interacting really anyways. Saejima is going to go after Majima because btw he's alive and at the top of the millenium tower. Akiyama and Kiryu stay on the ground to defend against attackers and they probably punch/ kick at least 10000 men. All the while Haruka gives her concert. But Baba is lurking and gonna shoot her, I thought he learned to be good again but whatever. Him and Shinada end up having a confrontation that ends in Baba losing and he's about to kill himself when !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my prison besties and the wardon show and up stop him! Oh my god I loved that so much what a nice resolution for Baba and I love that those guys went straight to a Jpop concert just for their pal. Meanwhile Saejima confronts Detective evil man on top of the millenium tower and !!! there he is, finally Majima is here. But he is not having a good time, turns out he's allowed himself to be captured and tortured for the sake of Haruka and now Majima and Saejima have to fight for the same reason. Then! Daigo shows up, while im literally begging him to actually shoot the bad guy but instead they all talk. Haruka is safe from harm (Baba wouldn't have done that shit anyways) and we officially learn about the plot of him attempting to put his son in charge of everything. Kiryu goes to Tojo headquarters to stop whoever this suspicious son is and Akiyama fights Kanai. Then literally all our friends ever show up to help and that was damn cute.
Kiryu shows up and it's eerie, completely silent with dead people everywhere. We go to the meeting room and the guy behind it all along was Aizawa. I definitely did not see that coming because I forgot he existed. But I suppose thats the point, he was so unassuming. I guess that means Morinaga actually was dead all along. We fight Aizawa while Haruka sings a song that seems very pointed at Kiryu wins (duh) but he is not doing well and tries to make his way through the streets. Meanwhile Haruka announces her retirement because she cant hide who she is or stay away from her family any longer and runs away to find Kiryu and THE GAME ENDS. Other games gave me a after credits scene that somewhat eased my concerns, but 5 is a overall very sad game and it's scene is her managing to him but he's bleeding out in the streets and falls unconcious in her arms.
Finale final thoughts: This was quite the finale! It was much better then Shinada's section but it was still a bit messy and left a lot of plot threads up in the air or had some unfortunate revelations. Nothing bad but things I think shouldve maybe been revealed earlier, like Aizawa. Only finding out with like 20 minutes of the game to go makes it feel too empty or even rushed when we know this game is otherwise not rushed at all. I was a little sad about the ending, I don't think it was bad at all I was just sad. The whole time I imagined it ending with the whole gang going to Haruka's concert and having a good time. For once I dont think the game fully dropped the ball on the finale like they tend to do so I commend it for that.
TLDOverall plot final thoughts: As a whole this is one of the most well written Yakuza stories since Yakuza 3 (obviously in my opinion). I can see that for some people all the plot twists and surprises might have felt like too much but I loved it, I never once could predict where this game was going. Morinaga dying off screen was such a let down and missed opportunity, at the end of Kiryu's section I was thinking he was going to be the best Yakuza villain in awhile but instead he went out in such a lame way. I do kinda wonder who killed him, I assumed it was just the detective guy but Aizawa seemed at least somewhat sad about Morinaga's death. I wonder if that was all a show? Another thing I dislike not just because of how it went, but also that it ended up going no where, Mayumi. They made quite the big deal about her at first and I do like the plot twist that she was a spy, but she wasn't even really acting any different when she was in spy mode and in normal mode. Plus you literally never see her again. I think Saejima's section was just very reminicent of his in 4, but done well. Aside from it taking quite so long to get to the city, by the time you leave it feels slightly rushed. I think the chapter in the woods didnt need to be its own thing. Absolutely no notes with Haruka, only that I'm sad this is all we will see of Park, I found her to be a really interesting character. Akiyama is where my main issues arise, only because I really do think he needed his whole section. He felt a little tacked on otherwise when I think he really didn't need to feel that way. I had hoped he would be part of half of Haruka's section then half of Shinada's where he is used to introduce us to Shinada as a character. But instead we get dropped into that like nothing. I know im probably the only one who cares about Hana this much but I really wish we got more of her. I basically said all my issues with Shinada at the end of his section but once again, I really didn't enjoy that plot. The finale was a mess and unfortunatly left at quite a cliff hanger which I wouldve rather it didn't but Im also okay with how it did. Some other things I wanted in this game was MORE MAJIMA I get why he wasnt for narrative purposes but Im gonna say that in every game. I wouldve loved more Okinawa orphan content. That being said there is way more content for them in this then in Y4 which is wild considering we spent like 5 seconds in Okinawa during a flashback and you never actually see them. It was so nice to hear what theyre up to second hand and some of the side missions expand on them a little more but I am devastated they werent there.
Lastly to briefly compare it to Y4, as they do feel like connected games. Y5 realy does feel like they took all of the concepts of the 4th game that needed to be reworked, and then re-did them to be better. The villains are better, prison break outs are better, and just like way more. I do think there are things in Y5 that are lacking compared to Y4, like general atmosphere, and I do think Tanimura's section in 4, as flawed as it is, is better then Shinadas. Akiyama's in 5 is great, but I love his in Y4 more simply because he doesn't have to share the spotlight. But I really have to emphasize, story and character are done better in Y5, ATMOSPHERE is done so much better in Y5.
TLDR for the TLDR: I liked this game :)
And there you have it, the longest goddamn review of all time. It was a really great game and I wish I could play it for the first time again because it was just SUCH a great experience. If you read this far I am so impressed by you and eternally grateful you even cared to. Please let me know your thoughts! I'm so excited to talk about this game with people. As for my rating, It was going to be a 10/10 until I got to Shinada's section now I'm in between an 8 or a 9. Ill just say 8/10 to be mean.
I am already neck deep in Yakuza 0 so I'm excited to write a much shorter review for that one soon.
Thank you for reading!

i might be the red flag in this story but like hope i dont get off topic or anything 😓😓 btw story might mention nsfw related/sexual harrassment (?) sorry for long paragraph too
so i met this guy at a convention during september 2023, he caught my interest since he was cosplaying my fav character so sort of got his social and we became friends.
we talked quite a lot the following week, he was 17 that time and lets call him imran. sort of went a lil too far that sort of did flirting and things... but like mostly i just called him names n things (red flag to me ig) 😓. andddd thats when the whole story started.
i was honestly fine with flirting and things despite age gap but like... i sort of started realizing things were getting weirder. his type of flirting sort of went off limits...??? like he sent me this one fanart of a char holding a kid char and sort of like a headcanon of them being siblings. then he sent me a message saying "is this my kid or OUR kid??". jaw dropped and i didnt know what to reply but like since i was close with him so i rlly didnt know what to do and sort of just continued the conversation. another time is when he told me his favourite character has never sat on him before in cosplay. soooo..... yk he asked me to and said like "SIT ON ME LIKE A CHAIR" and other things 😥 i got weirded out but no matter how hard i tried to reject him hes like "why not we do it somewhere private if we ever met up" like bro excuse me 😟 even though its on ur back that is literally weird asking a minor to do so 😭🙏 also he begged me to be his date to a convention but i didnt go lah. he joked about taking me out to dinner and things and also begged me to buy cosplays to match with him.
another time is when i found his tt and then theres that one video like "whats the best milk" or like those type of videos. ig i wasnt surprised since hes those type of players but like the worst part was the last slide was 3 kids (game chars) and the numbers were at their... iykyk. thats only one part of it, i commented telling him he shouldnt do that despite the fan art was the older version of the kids but like thats a big no.
so like we stopped talking a while after until one random day he dm me asking if i was mad at him or anything but i got confused cause im not active on instagram much. so he sent screenshots and then i realized he was getting cancelled and he told me not to tell anyone but why would i listen to him??? so i proceeded to search the user and asked them why he was getting cancelled, turns out hes sexual harrassing other people and it was so bad. the victim (rumi) got sent hentai by imran and also said "ur boobs are as big as mitsuri" (the image). he also told the girl the size of his 💥💥💥💥 !!! its bad isnt it? but no thats not all! (by the way victim was around my age i think shes 13 this year or something.)
he lied about his mom dying due to cancer in a few days but shit never happened! he faked having a fiance and things and opened an alt account on instagram messaging rumi saying "oh why would you do that?!" and things. (we found out it was him cause of the english grammar bro) i also asked him how did everything happened (sending the pictures and messages) he told me it was his COUSIN who did it, like excuse me it went on for DAYS. i asked him to send a picture of his cousin for proof yet he told me he doesnt have a picture of him or anything.
anyway i sort of collected a lot more information about him from my mutuals and god damn it was so bad. first he slurred the n word, second he would talk about girls with my friend, thirdly he sh another person of my mutual, last but not least he joked about ripping off my friends clothes in public and wanting to rape him.
i exposed him a while after and im so glad that it was getting recognized. i found out that many other people got stalked by him during conventions and many others. it was actually so dissapointing when you start to realize how fucked up humanity is. well i told my parents cause slowly i was really traumatized by what happened (also formed trauma, sort of scared of men now due to overthinking). they couldnt do much, but im glad im able to confess about it. i think thats all i have to say. thank you.

Wanted to jot down my feedback regarding S4 so far, from the position of an arpg sweat that grew up on D2. Some of my opinions will be direct opposites of what casuals are feeling, which is okay and I think there is a middle ground that can satisfy all player types in most areas.
Leveling
I was initially quite disappointed by the new leveling experience. Helltides are vastly improved and a lot more fun, but it still gets dull doing effectively only that for 50 levels. I think this is a minor issue as future season campaigns will probably break up the monotony enough to keep it fresh.
Personally I'm not a fan of making leveling faster, I enjoyed the original 1-100 experience but as the game adds more post-100 content it'll smooth out the process of getting there which is understandable.
The biggest issue leveling has is Haedrig's Gift (Iron Wolves & Season Journey caches). One of the big appeals of playing a fresh season is starting from scratch and pathing efficiently through the awkward parts of the early game where you don't have all your powers, and experiencing that growth and the big power spikes when you find the right item along the way. Developing mastery of a chosen class should include knowing how to be efficient without legendary powers, and it's another layer of skill that is fun to improve.
Giving everyone a starter kit toward a solid leveling build directly goes against that, and even makes me less interested in looking at loot since I've already been handed a big burst of power in the first 10 minutes. In a season all about the new loot, that's a big misstep in my eyes. Renown skill points already did this to some degree and it felt very jarring, but it's getting to a stage where it can't be ignored now. Stop solving the problems for me, the problems are the engaging part.
Haedrig's Gift-style mechanics simply need to go - LET ME FEEL WEAK so that I can enjoy being strong.
Loot & Crafting systems
The itemization rework is a big step in the right direction. I was initially concerned with greater affixes being some step in the direction of old D3 ancient items but so far I haven't felt it to be too grating because of the many rng elements involved in hitting several GA's and having them be the right ones. I hope iteration on stats will continue and that more fun or build-altering options will be added going forward.
Tempering is a huge win in my book, and the best new system introduced. The choices are interesting, grow in power as you approach the endgame and serve to let you specialize your character's/build's unique identity. I sincerely hope you double down on this and consider working in seasonal tempering affixes that offer interesting options to the current pool while not being so strong as to invalidate the base affix pool.
Masterworking hasn't made a huge impression personally, the % based stat increases aren't enough of a carrot to make me want to grind them out religiously.
My biggest issue with this iteration on loot is the obsoleting of item tiers. Rares are made functionally useless by having one less affix than legendaries, a complete 180 of the original plan of having them be potentially stronger than legendaries in the right circumstances, and even legendaries without greater affixes become completely pointless beyond salvaging for codex or selling for gold at some point in your journey.
I think there's a big opportunity to keep rares interesting throughout the whole journey even in their current state - what if they were the templates for runewords come the expansion? The power tradeoff of losing a regular affix and greater affix chances in favor of a unique new power could be fun to figure out as a player.
The Pit, and the great question of why?
When I started doing pit runs, I was immediately hit by the realization that although leveling had been shortened to get me here, I've run out of carrots to chase. Yeah, every item on my character could have the perfect stats and be masterworked to absolute perfection, but why? What am I working towards?
The obvious tie-in to greater rifts is a per-class, per-groupsize leaderboard. Now I have something to strive towards and it acts as a big motivation to perfect my gear so that I can compete. It'll also be engaging to more people than it was in D3 since infinite power scaling doesn't sour the experience for solo/legit players after two weeks of a season launching. But not everyone likes to push leaderboards, and even for those that do, creating some friction and diversity in what to focus on keeps the game fun for longer. In the end, I just want a good reason to keep pushing, and that looks different for everyone which is why we need options that aren't all instanced scaling difficulty ladders.
Trading
You expanded trading this season which is great - now give us a modern trading system that solidifies it as a real endgame option for those that want to, without taking the focus away from farming your own gear.
While I personally would like an auction house along with some sort of trading square area in cities where trade chat is auto-enabled, I recognize that it comes with concerns of what the optimal route to player power becomes. So if we want to maintain that bit of friction to make it a viable route, but still not overpowered in terms of loot acquisition, a system like PoE's website could facilitate face-to-face trading while also acting as part of the solution to the issue players are facing with socializing and grouping up. A lot of the people I made long-lasting bonds with from the D2 days I met through trading, either in-game or on third party sites.
Legitimizing trading as a secondary focus for those that want to could help diversify and strengthen your endgame offerings while also helping the social aspect of the game, which is sorely lacking. What it also does is create an interesting bit of friction for your character vs. account level of power and wealth. Suddenly, a unique item I found could be immediately useful to me if I made a Druid, but it could also strengthen my Sorceress if I sold it and spent the resources on masterworking or new template items. I'm predominantly a solo player and don't want grouping/coop to be shoved in my face, but not having a decent option to seek out people to play with in-game is a big miss for those that want it.
D4 with accessible trading and a diverse enough item pool to where I can buy and sell Uniques, Legendaries both for their stats aswell as their aspect creating interesting value breakpoints, rares or other runeword template items or even set items down the line would be a dream for a lot of players - and with the correct implementation, only a small tie-in or completely unnecessary for those that don't want to focus on it.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I think S4 is a large step in the right direction with some backwards stumbles here and there. I, along with many others, want nothing more than to main this game as the moment-to-moment gameplay is spectacular along with the art and music, but to be able to do that the endgame offerings need to have more depth and be more varied.

So I just finished the game last night, and I have just been a little on edge since then. I feel like there were too much buildup, too many loose ends for the game to end just like that. After everything we discovered, and everyone we met, I didn't think the main objective of the game would remain to find Lely's killer, especially after finding out he's just a dying crazy old man on an island who's slowly losing his mind. What does arresting him even accomplish at the end? It doesn't feel like a conclusion.
The tribunal was fantastic, finding the Insulindian Phasmid was magical, and talking to Dolores in your final dream was incredibly cool, but none of those really were meant to be endings. Instead, we're told that the murder had nothing to do with the Union/Wild Pines/Ruby/Klaasje who we've been literally investigating for the entire game. We learn that there's impending chaos after the tribunal, but see nothing of it, while what caused the tribunal itself was just a coincidence. Even if you realized the Scab guy was a merc all along, there was nothing you could do to talk to him and maybe affect the outcome of the tribunal. Ruby turned out to be a complete red herring who just gave you even MORE red herrings (La Puta Madre, Klaasje is still a suspect?, her former employer). The entirety of the political system in the game is just something for the player to interact with and doesn't affect anything or change up the story much. The "pale" sidequests and the Doomed Commercial Center just ended abruptly, not really giving the player anything meaningful.
And even though the ending scene brings up everything you did in the game (including the unintentional political dialogue choices cause unbeknownst to me I'm apparently a communist, racist, fascist, and woman hater) and "judges" you for them, no matter how bad you fucked up, as long as Kim is there, you will always be allowed back in the force. It kinda made me feel like none of what I'd done, no matter how hard I tried to do what I thought was right, as long as I arrest the old dying dude the game ends exactly the same.
And Harry didn't end up having a strange past or interesting backstory; his ex wasn't as mysterious as she was made out to be; his precinct colleagues really did have almost nothing to add or do in the story; he was NOT an agent of Madre, even though that's stressed upon in the end. He's just a horrible person who met a normal girl and fucked it up so he decided to fuck up his life by pushing everyone away and drinking himself almost to death.
Most of what's mentioned was fun enough to explore, I really loved the story and the writing overall, but I just wished it would have tied together better in the end. In the end, most of what ended up being true was what you assumed in the first hour of gameplay anyway.
EDIT: Wow, I was really expecting more people to be upset with me and to tell me how I should learn to appreciate art or whatever, but instead I got some seriously good answers and advice! Really grateful guys, thanks!

Regio Utrecht maar het maakt niet uit als je ergens anders vandaan komt :)
Ik ben een digital art student en zoek nieuwe vrienden aangezien een paar vrienden naar het buitenland zijn gegaan.
Hobbies/interesses: Art, verschillende soorten muziek (d&b, rap, techno, rock, metal, indie, synth, experimental) chillen in een park met muziek en de zon, katten, gamen, skaten, planten, gekke leuke mensen die zichzelf zijn!!
stuur me maar een berichtje 🕺🏼

Just another fun little story idea I had. I am still working on Humans are the violent ones but I like to bounce around and experiment with ideas to see what I really like. I also suck at writing more casual stories, as they give me severe writer's block as I try to map out how to make a scene feel genuine in my head, but I promise I'll update that soon. If you like this story and want to see more, then like and comment. I'll gladly continue this series as well.
Start of Personal Log
Humans don't like being told what to do. They don't like being commanded, put in their place, or snubbed. It was an inexorable, inalienable trait of humans, at least any noteable humans, to go against any authority that they believed was against their interests.
Humanity would not fit amongst the stars. Few ever did. It was a trait of most successful species to be willful, ambitious, and to desire more. But once they reached the stars the new (and simultaneously very old) pecking order either quashed any spirit such species had or simply eradicated them. Countless tomb worlds and diaspora served as painful reminders of what became of the nails that chose to stick out. The hammer of order would always strike. There could be no compromise, the very soul of the authority that held the Jurisdiction together relied on a show of unmatched power, or at least the illusion of item.
In reality, the Jurisdiction was an old, fat, and lazy beast. It filled its belly on the corpses of empires far and wide, and sated its bloodlust on the shattered dreams of hopeful cubs. It had every right to, for none could challenge it: there were no new frontiers to explore, nor were there any other enemies to conquer. The Milky Way, as humans had so strangely dubbed our cradle galaxy, as well as Andromeda, had long since been warred over and settled for millennia before humanity had arrived, bright-eyed and with familiar yet otherwise foolish dreams of cooperation and prosperity. The Jurisdiction did not cooperate, nor did it ensure prosperity. Oh, it claimed it did, but in reality it simply took. The rest was just the peace that came with not being the direct target of the biggest fish in the pond. The humans didn't like that, but they had no choice.
Slavery was a common tribute. The Jurisdiction had no use for other resources: it simply took. No, it wanted those who could facilitate that unequal exchange, those raised in a world where the only morality was the one set by your lord. The Jurisdiction was held together by expectations, obligations, and dury more than any kind of shared dream, so when you were ordered to take you did so without question. Humanity was new: they had no niche or value that set them apart, but they had a penchant for killing and taking, so the Jurisdiction gave them a taste of how the galaxy worked. They killed and they took. The humans didn't like that, but what choice did they have?
Humans were strange. They learned, but not in the way most species learned. Most species learned to adapt in a passive way, to adhere to the world around them. They flowed like water, moving past and around obstacles and confirming to the boxes they were assigned too. Humans didn't confirm, nor did they adapt: they made their circumstances fit their desires. They would not move around obstacles, but rather smash through them, and they refused to stay in one box for too long. The Jurisdiction merely saw them as a particularly loud nuisance, but those who faced their wrath knew better.
It is said that when a beast seeks to make an example, it shall humble its rival by killing it's cubs. Children were one of those universal constants that brought entire communities together: the Sok’klar saw their hatchlings as gifts, shaped by the fruitful currents of the universe in perfect harmony. The Yarrack saw each and every newborn whelp as an uncut gemstone, ready to be shaped into something magical. Humanity oftentimes referred to their offspring as angels, or spirits of unbridled good sent by the gods themselves. Children were seen by most of the galaxy as gifts.
The Jurisdiction saw them as a lever to inflict suffering. It had become quite effective at enacting psychological punishments on those that stood up and spoke out. You dare to disobey? You believe you can speak out? Your gifts shall be taken from you, and you shall be without joy.
Humans didn't like this, but the Jurisdiction would have their pound of flesh, and humankind would kneel. And they did. But humans were patient creatures: most species who retained that trait of willful spit also lacked patience.
I had long since become desensitized to the Jurisdiction’s actions: it was simply how the universe worked now, as if it were a constant akin to gravity. Cruelty was the unspoken rule of this seemingly unending age, where our lives never appeared to move forward or backwards, only lay dormant. The Jurisdiction had been the unyielding authority that ruled the galaxy for thousands of years, venerable yet feared all the same.
And for the longest time I was just another cog in its wheel. My name is Kalnuracht Sedjuur-Noumar VII, and was the scion of the noble house Sedjuur-Noumar. I was born into what most would describe as veiled apathy, living a life that could be attributed to the privileged class of feared scribes that enacted the will of those above. I was an administrator and nothing more. And now I am doomed to be far less than that in the eyes of my former constituents within the endless administration. I am the only scion, as is tradition, and without an heir I am the last of my house, our name to be scrubbed from the records, worthless, meaningless, and forgotten.
I am merely Kalnuracht, nothing else and nothing more. I have seen from their eyes, the eyes of the downtrodden, and it makes my crimes of association with the Jurisdiction feel all the more damning on my worthless soul. I am worthless to the world, and this is my story.
End Personal Log #1
Start of Neural Lace Narrative Log #1
They came from the black like carrion birds in the night, encircling our convoy as if it were a dying animal ready to be picked clean without remorse. There was no warning, no list of demands sent out as civilized peoples did, nor was there either any requirement for unconditional surrender nor chance to parlay, as was done so under letter of marque: this was an unmistakable call for violence and nothing else. They sought to reduce us to slag and scavenge the rest.
So, as one would expect, the entire bridge of the ship was nearing a panicked state. This was not the actions of those practicing civility, but rather the common behaviors of despoiling barbarians, the kind that tore their way through the dark reaches of the galaxy as if they owned it.
“Wayfinder, what do your probes see?” Shouted the ship’s sovereign. He was an older Kar’Rowmach, an amphibious cephalopod species with a venerable history within the Jurisdiction going back thousands of years. Normally one such as him would be above me if it weren't for the fact that I was under the authority of the Jurisdiction’s seal of office. He didn't like me very much, but most of his kind shared the same sentiment.
“All dark, honorable Sovereign: the sensor arrays are wailing but the feedback we're reviewing is beyond incomprehensible,” the wayfinder replied with a certain restrained temper in his voice. The Sok'klar wayfinder swayed gently, his tentacled limbs grasping different metallo-liquid braille output arrays, the liquid gallium flexing and reshaping unnaturally to allow him to to take in multiple different sources of sensory output at once, with the primary navigation computer plugged into the cybernetics surrounding his opaque, gelatinous head and plugging directly into his tube-shaped brain.
The Sovereign cursed in Loskat and pointed to his bridge crew while I simply sat in the back, near the Sovereign’s symbolic throne. “Prepare countermeasures and spool up the warp drive, we cannot allow the amanuensis to be taken! He carries sensitive information that only he can translate and transcribe!”
As the bridge crew nodded and began fiddling with their own systems, I preened my feathered hide anxiously. I wasn't a fighter: us nobles of the cloth were the educated minority above all else, not those who waged war or partook in hard labor. Special cybernetics in my brain allowed me to translate triple-encoded messages that usually took a ducal signet codekey or above to parse, but even without that I was a skilled mathematician and logician. I had terabytes worth of knowledge stored within the hardware installed in my head, all well protected of course, but if I were to die it would still be a waste. I could only imagine the damage any malcontenders could do with it if they were able to get their filthy hands on me.
Suddenly, the ship rocked, and the gallium overhead display began to form crescendos like I'd never seen before. “Sovereign, decks A-3 through C-12 are venting atmosphere and our coolant systems have been obliterated,” the Wayfinder spoke in an almost serene voice, as if he was completely unconcerned by current events. I knew they were simply incapable of tonal displays, but it was unnerving nonetheless. “Once we jump, we will not be able to risk another until the vacuum of the void can reduce temperatures to acceptable levels within the plasma capacitors.”
“Damn them,” the armored nautiloid hissed, his barbed feelers coiling in frustration, “May the currents take them. What are our options? what can we see? This fleet cannot fall to the void today, not with such vital cargo.” My hackles rose lightly at the Kar’Rowmach referred to me as some object rather than an esteemed amanuensis of the Jurisdiction, but I bit my forked tongue. Now was not the time to squabble with the sovereign over who was what and what titles I deserved, not while he was so desperately attempting to keep what semblance of order within his fleet that he had left.
I could not blame the crew for being panicked either: wars were practically mythologized now, having been long since rendered obsolete with the rise of the Jurisdiction, and that felt like an eternity ago. Now, either being levied into or joining a ducal naval force was simply another career, more akin to serving as an officer of the law rather than a fully fledged soldier. Minimal training was required, most of it being the technicals of one's duty rather than any kind of combat conditioning, so expecting a fleet to actually be prepared for a combat scenario in a universe where peace was the norm was laughable.
“We are practically blind, Sovereign,” stated the Sok'klar Wayfinder, “our probes are offline, and shipboard graviton displacement sensory arrays have been rendered unreliable at best.”
“What about the particle emission array? Has there been a spike in radioactivity where we were hit?”
The Wayfinder seemed to think for a second, his gelatinous form flexing and morphing a bit before answering. “Affirmative, a jump from negligible to forty billion becquerels along decks A through E-5 on our starboard side.”
“Torpedoes…” the Sovereign hissed, stroking his barbed feelers, “Human Torpedoes. Only those primitives would rely on crude nuclear warheads.” He then turned to his militant leaders on the ship. “Noddos, Rel’ads: organize your phalanxes and prepare to repel boarders. We are bound to be assailed by those rancorous primates, and I want their skulls piled at my feet if they dare set foot on our ship.”
“Your wish is our command, Sovereign,” the two militant commanders spoke as one. Noddos, a large bipedal with multiple sets of curved spines running down his back, a pair of graceful horns sprouting from his head, and multiple rows of sharp teeth in his snout, bowed first, followed by Rel’ads, a marsupial with long saberteeth and thick fur. They both must have been fierce warriors in their own right to each lead a phalanx. They wore thick, semi-powered armor and held dueling polearms alongside their usual plasma casters, and seemed completely unfazed by the situation we were in. As they stomped out of the brightly lit bridge, I let out a quiet squawk of discontentment. “Sovereign, why haven't we jumped again? We are wasting precious time.”
“I am working on it, you spineless beaurocrat!” He warbled back, his feelers tensing in anger, “besides, it's not as if you're the one who will be spilling blood today, amanuensis, so flatten your wretched beak or I shall weld it shut with a plasma torch.
I was about to reply with something indignant, but the ship rocked again, this time causing the lights to flicker and the air to become… thick. The skin under my feathers began to blister, and I became lightheaded and confused. “Seal the damnable vents, initiate radiation scrubbers, and activate secondary life support!” Shouted the Sovereign, “Their nuclear weapons are rendering the ship inhospitable!”
I coughed up magenta blood accidentally, and I could feel more seeping from under my eyes. Some of the crew was in a similar position, but others were more resistant to radiation than I. The Sok'klar seemed completely at ease as he ran his tentacles across his morphic braille arrays before calmly announcing the ship’s status. “I've regained some control over our probes: ten, twelve, and seventeen are active and fully functional, the rest are either still malfunctioning or permanently inoperable. A rapid rise in localized radiation is also interfering with the detection of graviton displacement; we can't sense photon redirection, thus readings will remain inconclusive.
“Wayfinder, damn you, get me some kind of out here! We're easy prey until we can respond in kind!”
“Negative, something has gone awry with our processing hub, I am attempting to troubleshoot-”
And with that, the Wayfinder’s bulbous head exploded in a cascade of opaque lavender blood, covering the front half of the deck crew like a morbid art piece. Some of the crew screamed and shouted in terror before removing their cranial adaptors and choosing to interact with their displays manually. Others died just as quickly, unable to unplug in time as their brain stems fried or their blood boiled. It was a horrible way to go, having your insides neutralized by your own cybernetics, so I was glad I wasn't connected to the system.
“Cybernetic warfare! All systems are to be considered compromised, switch to manual settings or you'll be killed!”
The lights in the bridge flickered again, and the displays went haywire. The bridge crew, which obviously weren't acquainted with working without being hard-linked into the mainframe, moved at a much slower pace.
“Launch missile pods A through F and set to self-target after five hundred kilometers, then rely on their ballistic coordinates to begin firing broadsides! If we can't see the humans due to their meddling, we'll just have to feel them.” Shouted the Sovereign, “and got me a detailed report on the ship’s diagnostics readings. I need to know if this flagship is still capable of escaping or if we'll have to scuttle it and retreat on another.”
“Acknowledged, Sovereign, launching now,” affirmed another deck officer as he swiped across his own gallium output array. I could hear the dull thunk, thunk, thunk of missiles pushing out of their pods before racing off to their intended targets, then the mechanical whirring as the pods rotated to be reloaded by slaves in the lower decks. I was regaining my bearings as the many horrible sensations of being overwhelmed by radiation poisoning were beginning to subside, but I still felt as if I had been microwaved. The air was stale, the crew was horribly sick as well, and even the sovereign himself seemed to be on his last leg. I was beginning to believe that I might die here.
“Sovereign, a message from the lower decks,” shouted a communications officer, his chitin scraping against itself as he turned quickly, “they're requesting reinforcements, something about being overrun.”
“Impossible,” the Sovereign hissed out in a vain attempt to exude confidence, “We must outnumber the humans, they always go for bigger targets out of arrogance.”
“I've received reports that it's not just humans: the primates seem to make up only a third or so of the assailing force, along with some Phaeldaer and Vrex.”
The commander slammed his clawed hands down on his own output array in a fit of rage, obviously overwhelmed by the circumstances, “Then this wasn't just a typical assault, but something more sinister!” The nautiloid warbled, blood seeping from his shell as the full effects of the radiation took hold, “Get Rel’ads on the line, have him divert all spare lances to the lower decks or else we'll lose the only offensive capabilities we can use.”
“Rel'ads has gone dark, Sovereign, his vitals are critical.”
“Then either get me Rel'ads tail-leader or get me Noddos!” He screamed in rage, “don't give me this nonsense! If we don't pick it up we're all going to die, is that what you want?”
“No, Sovereign, I'm simply overwhelmed-”
“We're all overwhelmed! By the tides, I'm dying of radiation poisoning you nincompoop! Get me something I can work with!”
The officer didn't even acknowledge the Sovereign after that, simply turning back to his display. Eventually, the Sovereign was able to get Noddos on the line.
“Sovereign, two thirds of my phalanxes have been decimated by combat with the primitives and the radiation, the rest are in shambles. We must retreat and fortify elsewhere!”
“Then the ship is compromised! Rel'ads is unresponsive and the lower decks are swarming with intruders. We must evacuate the amanuensis to another ship.”
Just as the Sovereign spoke, I heard several gentle thumps rattle against the bridge’s door, and it made me uneasy. Some of the bridge crew seemed to feel the same, as they looked incredibly nervous and some even drew their sidearms. Just as the sovereign turned to give further orders, the door blew inward with a deafening explosion, followed by shouting and gunfire. Several of the bridge officers were dispatched quickly, brain matter and blood splattering against the delicate electronics. Others were shot in the legs, the torso, or in any other exotic yet non-vital body parts. The humans poured in, brandishing primitive ballistic firearms and jury-rigged energy weapons while wearing scavenged, legion-grade powered armor.
The Sovereign was the next to go, but he wasn't afforded an honorable death. He was shot along the arm with a particularly potent plasma caster, burning off his clawed hand and cauterizing the wound, the acrid smell of roasting chitin filling the already hot and cramped bridge. He fell back against his output array, the gallium reaching new highs and lows as more diagnostics and casualty reports were delivered, and he clutched his stump angrily. “I'll burn every last one of you in the foundries! I'll tie you to stakes, cover you in wax and set you alight! Your screams will be broadcasted all over the galaxy!”
One human warrior stomped up and slammed the butt of his rifle into the sovereign’s face, shattering his facial plates and causing blue blood to splatter across his section of the bridge. “Shut the fuck up, you mutant lobster,” the human said before dragging him by both antennae towards the center of the bridge and receiving a stained breeching axe from one of his comrades. “Emmanuel, start recording. We need proof.”
The other human nodded and pressed a button on his armor before lifting up his gun again. The rest of the humans fanned out, holding everyone else at gunpoint. I tried to get up and sneak out, but a human grabbed me by my neck and nearly wrung it out as he forced me to my knees and pointed a sidearm to my skull. “Get down, you piece of shit, before I blow your brains out too.”
“Damnable primate,” I hissed, but he bashed me in my skull with the base of his sidearm’s grip and sent me sprawling, making my already pounding headache worse. Another human shouted at him in a language I didn't recognize, but he sounded furious. The first brought me back up to my knees again, and I complies with a hiss and a groan, blood still leaking from my eyes and mouth and my world was spinning.
The Sovereign struggled, but he was weak from the radiation poisoning and he couldn't exactly resist on account of his lost arm. The human with the breaching ax kicked the Sovereign down and forced him to kneel before lifting up the breeching ax and splitting his chitinous head down the middle with one powerful swing, sending more blood and brains across the floor. “Execution confirmed, take his antennae just in case and we've got ourselves a bounty. Now all we need is that ugly cat’s teeth and the fat hedgehog-thing’s grimy spines and we'll be in business. Although, they do have skulls… we might as well just take their heads.”
The real horror of the situation dawned on me at that moment: they were going to kill us all, or maybe worse. They mentioned a bounty for the commanders, and multiple of the higher ranking ship officers were already dead, their brains splattered against the walls or their bodies torn apart by gunfire. I wasn't dead yet, but that didn't mean much since I wasn't an immediate threat.
“Alright, round them up and bring all the grunts to the hanger bay, then kill the rest,” the leader of the humans said in such a lackadaisical manner that his complete disregard for life almost made me sick… almost. I had seen worse from the Jurisdiction before, but usually that was from me delivering some kind of ordered judgment on a world that had sinned against order. I might have simply been the messenger, but I had seen many of the outcomes. “And make sure to collect whatever proof of bounties you can, we'll need to deliver them to the office to get cashed out. Don't let this be a repeat of last time where Juarez fucking forgot to take a few heads and it ended up cutting our profits in half, the fucking retard.”
Some of the humans chuckled at that as they dragged more of the senior officers away, out of the room and into the hall,where I heard gunshots. The rest of the bridge crew froze in place, different fear instincts kicking in. The remaining Sok'klar corralled together into what seemed to be a singular, semi-congealed mass as if to try and trick the humans into believing that they were much bigger and much more threatening than they actually were. The one Thei’chi on the bridge, an ensign who had clearly thought this would be a simple mission, bore her curved fangs at the humans and growled as they approached, her hackles completely vertical and her eyes dilated. They quickly muzzled and bound her before beating her over the head with a gun stock, sending her sprawling onto the ground. Many others simply cooperated, eyes wide and yet simultaneously empty, as if they couldn't quite process that the ship had been taken and the commanding officers were being executed as the rest were escorted to the hangar.
“Get the damn messenger down to the hanger as well, we need whatever data's in his ugly lizard head, then we can decide on what to do with him.”
I spat at him in spite, as if to try and seem brave, but it was clearly an empty gesture. “You won't get anything, primate! You couldn't possibly crack the encryption!”
The human holding me seemed to wind up for another swing, but the commanding officer simply held up his hand to stop my tormentor before strolling over to me. He knelt down and removed his helmet, revealing a beige-colored face covered in scars, wiry black hair cut down to the scalp, and multiple tattoos. “You're really fucking mouthy for a hostage,” he said before punching me across my beak faster than I could register. I heard a sharp crack as his fist connected, and my head spun again as the metallic taste of blood pooled into my mouth. “I'd advise you to shut up, but I'm sure you won't listen: you aristocratic types are so full of yourselves. Maybe I should have you flogged in the public square until your vocal chords give out once we rip those cybernetics from your head, huh? How's that sound?”
“It won't matter… it won't change anything… the Jurisdiction will hunt you down.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it will happen for some time: they really suck at doing anything that requires effort, even when they're mad enough. They just keep sending their rabid lapdogs to try and smoke us out, and they always end up full of holes,” the human officer said with a smirk, his yellowish-white teeth and green eyes sending shivers down my spine as he drew his knife. “They're just horrible at their job, you know? You've all gotten so lazy and incompetent after being able to just take what you want without resistance, and now that you've met people who are angry and crazy enough to fight back you act as if we're committing some grave injustice,” he placed the knife against my throat, the flat just underneath my now bent beak, “No, we just took a few pages out of your book, ‘cept we've got standards. No kids, for one…” he seemed to look off into the distance as his sneer deepened, “but it's more than that, we don't attack the defenseless in general and we still win against you all in fair fights.”
I went to say something else snarky, but he quickly grabbed my thin tongue with his fingers and yanked it out, blood from my mouth pulling to the floor as he held the blade of his knife against it. “No no, none of that. Say one more thing and I'll cut that rancid little tongue of yours out of your mouth and feed it to you,” he hissed at me, pressing the blade down just hard enough to draw blood. “Do you know what it's like to see a planet turn into a tomb?" he asked me, gritting his teeth, “Do you know what it's like to see everything you've ever known crumble to ash and glass, all the life and the green stripped away leaving nothing but bones? I do. I've seen it happen to countless worlds, and my grandfather always told me stories of how you bastards did it to Earth. He still prays in its direction five times a day, to Mecca, but he knows the Kaaba is gone now, or maybe it's still there, buried in the bones of those who sought refuge there.”
I didn't care for the human’s nonsensical beliefs, but I did care to correct him. “I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. And so will you, it's inevitable. The Jurisdiction will always have its judgment fulfilled, there is no alternative.”
“One day, I hope we can rectify that,” he said, then he sheathed his knife and slammed my head against the metal floor with enough force to nearly knock me out. As I lost consciousness, I could hear him speak. “Take him to the Chop Doc, and make sure the cybernetics don't get damaged: they're supposedly more valuable than any bounty on this ship.”
Warning: Severe radiation poisoning detected. Flush system immediately.
Warning: Neural Lace removal detected, chance of neurological damage high. Proceeded with caution.

I'm writing a recap of the beef in my own eyes, based on what has been shown out there.
If anyone sticks around to the end to read all this shit, if you have any comments on what I missed or should be edited, lmk. Also go touch grass.
* October 2023: Cole/Drake dropped First Person Shooter, which sees Drake take shots at Kenny and while he gives props to the Big 3, Cole also claims he’s the best rapper alive. The verse from Cole is a bit disingenuous, calling themselves the Big 3, but referring to himself as Ali and saying "me and Drizzy shits like the Super Bowl," which in turn refers to KDot as the third best in the group. Also calls himself "Muhammed Ali," who is considered the greatest to ever do it. In Jermaine's eyes, its Cole Drake Kenny.
* March 2024: Metro Boomin (rap producer) and Future drop “We Don’t Trust You,” an album which sees them take multiple shots at Drake. One song (Like that) features Kendrick, who is practically inviting him to throw gloves with Drake (and Cole). Responds to the Big 3 claims with "Fuck the Big 3, it's just Big Me." A lot of his verse is going at Drake directly, calling his best work a "Lyt pack," and playing up the MJ Prince comps with the "Prince outlived Mike Jack" bar.
(The Drake Metro beef goes back a bit. Drake wanted to be on Metro's album on the song 'Trance,' but Metro didn't like what Drake had submitted. Drake also submitted his verse late, which pissed off Metro, who ended up removing Drake's verse and keeping him off the album entirely. Drake does not take this news kindly, and ends up leaking his verse, which pisses Metro off further. He goes on a twitter rant, stating why Drake doesn't deserve a Grammy. When 21 Savage dropped his album "American Dream", Drake congratulated him on Insta, with a Screenshot that omitted Metro's name out of the credits. Which leads to Metro dropping "We Don't Trust You" and "Like That" as a result.)
Thank you u/CROW_is_best
* Two weeks later: Cole drops Might Delete Later, a 12 song EP. The last song (7 minute drill) is his response to Kendrick. However fans were pretty critical of his reply, with some claiming that as a diss it was pretty tame at best. Other fans claimed it was just a warning shot, and that it wasn't meant to be a diss back. A few days later, Cole apologized to Kendrick at Dreamville fest, and backed out of the battle. It is rumored that TDE member Schoolboy Q advised Cole to drop out of the beef, as it was between Kendrick/Drake, and it would get more personal.
* April 2024: 3 weeks after “Like That”, Metro and Future drop another album, “We STILL Don’t Trust You." This album features multiple artists who also throw disses at Drake. ASAP Rocky for dissing his BM, Weeknd calling out "leaks in the operation."
* A day after Metro/Future drop their 2nd album, Drake's “Push Ups” leaks online. This song clapped back at everyone that took shots at him on We don’t trust you, from Kendrick to Rick Ross to ASAP to Metro to Weeknd. In the song, Drake makes fun of Kendrick’s height, shoe size, his label split (supposedly he had to give TDE 50 of his publishing), and had a subtle jab at Kendrick’s wife Whitney.
* Drake also dropped a song that featured an AI voice of Tupac (Kendrick’s idol) and Snoop Dogg. Both west coast legends, but encouraging Kendrick to drop and stop being scared. A controversial track that was polarizing to say the least. Some fans praising its creativity in the rap beef, along with great verses from Drake. Others calling it disrespectful to a rap legend, and a bad precedent to allow AI in music. The Tupac estate ended up sending a C&D to Drake, who later removed the song from all socials.
(Note that here the public perception was for Kendrick to drop a reply, that Drake had come back correct with Push Ups and that if Kendrick was going to start a battle, he shouldn't duck when met with a reply)
* Two weeks after “Push Ups:" Kendrick drops “Euphoria,” which goes in on Drakes parenting ability, legitimacy in the rap game, and so on. A very solid dissection into the man we know as Drake, its a very good diss track that shows Kendrick's lyricism in full display. Also acknowledged that the industry is out to get Drake "wtf is this a 20v1," and told Metro to "shut yo hoe ass up and make some drums."
(He replied to this with an IG story of a merengue remix of that Metro bar, which was hilarious lmao. That and the band peforming outside Magic City in ATL were the funniest parts of the beef)
* A few days after, he followed up with “6:16 in LA" on Instagram. Not really a diss track in my opinion, it felt more like a track that had some warnings to Drake. Dot questions the loyalty of OVO and their legitimacy in the group, planting seeds of doubt in the mind of Drake. The cover this song is a black Maybach glove.
* Drake replied with “Family Matters” later that night, claiming Kendrick as a phony, attention whore, and worst of all a wife beater. Also claims that Dave Free (Kendrick’s manager), is the father of one of his kids. He drops this song with a full on music video, crushing the GKMC van, showing off the jewelry of rap legends like Pharrell and Pac, and so on.
(Honestly some of Drake's best work, and fans see it as such. Honestly some of his best writing since at least IYRTITL. That along with the beats make it a top 10 Drake song in my opinion. Some claim it's the best song in the diss. However, I just don't see it, for the reason I'm mentioning below:)
* Not even half an hour later: Kendrick drops “meet the grahams” which has heavy accusations. The cover of this song contains some of Drake's items. It includes: Ozempic/Adderrall/Zolpidem prescriptions, a receipt for the chains that Drake bought, presumably the ones in the FM video, and a visit card. Song claims Drake is a terrible person, has pedophilic thoughts/tendencies, runs a underground sex ring, and has a daughter that he’s hiding who’s at least 11 yrs old. It is a haunting track that sees Alchemist produce the beat.
(In my opinion, the clear turning point of this battle. For Kendrick to drop the time that it did, took the wind out of the sails that was Family Matters. And did it at a time where EVERYONE was reacting to it in real time. If the track didn't hit as hard as it did, it probably does not have an impact and Drake would have been the winner. Which is why IMO it's the best diss song in the battle. Despite the fact that daughter claims are mere allegations, he hit home on every other point that was made, with the cover art being proof of his verses holding truth. Which can't be said about any other diss in this battle, bar Euphoria.)
* He then dropped “Not Like Us” a day after FM/Meet the Grahams, which doubles down on the pedo claims, and also calls him a colonizer. This song is an instant hit and a West Coast banger, as it is currently the top song on the Billboard 200 as of the time writing this post.
(This song shifted the tide to "Drake is cooked" status. Prior to this song, people were still reeling from the back to back disses and asking that both sides bring receipts to the table. But with Not Like Us being a colossal hit, fans flocked to Kendrick's side. This track felt like the equivalent to a 3rd quarter run from the 2017 Warriors. Once it happens, you're done.)
To make matters worse, Metro also dropped a disstrumental called "BBL Drizzy," encouraging fans to drop a verse on the song, giving the winner 10k and a free Metro beat.
(Also a pivotal moment. If Drake wasn't losing the battle before, he lost the internet game with this combo. Now social media was clowning on him)
* A day later, Drake replied with "The Heart Part 6," a play on the The Heart series that Kendrick Lamar has. This song sees Drake claim that he set Kendrick up with fake information, and planted all this from the start. He also continues to apply pressure on the DV claims, and dispells the accusations made against him about him being a pedo. Also claims that he understands why Kendrick is so pent up, as Drake believes that Kendrick got molested as a child, referencing "Mother I Sober." Fans believe this track was a white flag of sorts, with the bars saying "You could drop a hundred more records, I'll see you later," and:
"That's why these pedophile raps and shit you so obsessed with, it's so excessive They actin' like it's so aggressive, but you just never known affection I don't wanna diss you anymore, this really got me second-guessin."
The last bar seems to question Kendrick's motives in the beef, and that Drake wants no parts in a battle that is really just projecting trauma. Regardless, the song was met with criticism for questionable lyrics and disses in the song. Shortly after, both sides alluded to move on, with Punch/Top of TDE declaring Kendrick the winner, and Drake saying "Good Battle, summer vibes up next," with the beef ending there.