Cannibal femcan stories and pictures

Recently had an exchange on Tumblr (I know, I know, Tumblr) that went poorly. Not trying to cancel anyone, not trying to start drama for the sake of it, and I hate conflict.
But I hate normalizing childhood sexual abuse more.
The post I was responding to was a Wyllstarion comic that looked like it took a lot of effort and practice to make. In the comic, a young Wyll (by young, I mean prepubescent) goes to Sharess's Caress and encounters Astarion there. Astarion flirts with him—yes, Astarion flirts with a child, sexually—then throws a tantrum and Wyll leaves. The comic ends with Wyll and Astarion in a romantic relationship and recalling the encounter.
Before I said anything, in the comments, the post replies were all things like "this is cute" and "so romantic."
I didn't like that the message of this story was that it was normal, possible, or acceptable for two people to get into a romantic relationship after one flirted with the other as a child. Sending such a message is actively dangerous, in my opinion, especially to younger fans or childhood sexual abuse survivors. Also didn't like that there was nothing challenging this portrayal in the replies.
So, I politely expressed my concerns, hoping to start a conversation about it.
The author responded by reblogging my message with an explanation that suggested I was only concerned about normalizing pedophilia because I was too stupid to have understood the story. And when I pushed back again, they deleted their reblog.
Link to album of comic and receipts, so you can judge for yourself.
For the love of all gods and all that is holy, please, please, please, please, please, please, please do not try to track this person down and harass or shame them. I don't actually think they're a pedophile. I also don't want them to have the rhetorical 'out' of getting to say "but both sides! Dolly blasted me on Reddit to harass me!!" I want there to not be a speck of mud on the central message I'm trying to get out, which is that normalizing pedophilia and grooming behavior is always unacceptable.
Let's have the tone of this not be punishing people for mistakes, but drawing on the game's strong points to process and heal from our own trauma. If you were sexually abused as a child, and you saw this comic, and you didn't see anyone pushing back, know that we ARE pushing back. It's just not visible because the format of Tumblr, and social media in general, isn't conducive to that.
It's not normal for adults to flirt with children. It's not 'morally grey' for an adult to think it's acceptable to 'seduce' a child. It doesn't justify the adult's behavior if they say the child is 'upright and sincere.' It's not normal for two people to get into a relationship after one flirted with the other as a child. It's not the child's fault. Ever.
And it's dangerous to leave this narrative floating out there in the fandom without saying something.
(Also, on the topic of social media and productive discussion? Visual art is far easier to consume and engage with than longform writing—and yet if a fandom chokes out its trauma-informed longfic authors in favor of pictures of hot people, this is what you get. Is this what you want? Uncritical anime boykissing? If not, show your damn longfic authors some love in the comments. Let's make this a space to acknowledge those artists who get and expand on the game's deeper messages.)

Let me be clear - my MIL is a cold hearted, crazy-eyed bitch. She's unkind, manipulative, derogatory, snobby and overall an elitist piece of crap who lives in an extremely rural neighborhood. Let's call her Karen.
Ever since Karen contracted covid about 2 years ago, additional medical problems started cropping up. At one point the situation had gotten so dire that she was essentially knocking on death's door. Prior to the covid infection, this lady was grosley overweight and had a slew of medical problems beforehand - not exactly the picture of perfect health. She did however receive exemplary care throughout the entire year long ordeal - it's kind of a miracle she didn't croak.
Flash forward to Mother's Day weekend 2024 - Karen is finally done with having to be frantically rushed to the ER every other day - the majority of medical problems had subsided. She claimed she had a new and positive outlook on life (I thought this was a good sign considering how absolutely miserable she was to be around leading up to the covid diagnosis).
Me and my wife walk into my Karen's house on Mother's Day. She hobbles down the hallway to greet us along with her husband (my wife's father). We exchange a plesant greeting. Karen takes a minute to collect herself, plops her ass down onto a seat at the kitchen table and starts to regale my wife and I about how unbelievably terrible all these "Hispanic and Latino dipshits" are and how they almost allegedly killed her in the hospital.
Was I shocked to hear this? Absolutely not - this is the kind of racist and hateful behavior I have come to expect from this woman (Karen loves to day drink so these colorful allegories were always abundant at get togethers).
Without missing a beat Karen starts imitating the broken English spoken by the nursing staff at hospitals she was at and starts cackling maniacally (Iike a villain from a cartoon). I look over at her husband who is rolling his eyes (this poor man - I love him 1000x more than his bitch of a wife). I then look over at my wife who looked quite embarrassed.
After Karen nearly choked on her own fat ass tongue while laughing, I decided to interrupt her little racist tirade with a simple "you must live a pretty sad life if that's all you can say about those nurses after they essentially saved you from an early grave. Couldn't be me though - I would be extremely grateful."
Before the old bat could loudly and quickly change subjects (this is her defense mechanism - to drown out any retorts to her conversation in the hopes of not being faced with differing opinions) I continued saying "my Mother raised me to follow one simple rule: if you can't say anything nice, then shut your mouth".
Watching the smile on her face quickly turn to a frown was a top 5 life moment for me. There is absolutely no greater feeling than putting one of these tired and desperate fools in their place.
Needless to say the rest of the gathering was pretty quiet and the old bitch retired to her bed a few short hours later (without any additional incidents).
The point of my boomer story is this: these haggard old imbeciles will never learn how unacceptable their behavior is unless we call them out on it. Don't be afraid - speak out and speak up!

Let me be clear - my MIL is a cold hearted, crazy-eyed bitch. She's unkind, manipulative, derogatory, snobby and overall an elitist piece of crap who lives in an extremely rural neighborhood. Let's call her Karen.
Ever since Karen contracted covid about 2 years ago, additional medical problems started cropping up. At one point the situation had gotten so dire that she was essentially knocking on death's door. Prior to the covid infection, this lady was grosley overweight and had a slew of medical problems beforehand - not exactly the picture of perfect health. She did however receive exemplary care throughout the entire year long ordeal - it's kind of a miracle she didn't croak.
Flash forward to Mother's Day weekend 2024 - Karen is finally done with having to be frantically rushed to the ER every other day - the majority of medical problems had subsided. She claimed she had a new and positive outlook on life (I thought this was a good sign considering how absolutely miserable she was to be around leading up to the covid diagnosis).
Me and my wife walk into my Karen's house on Mother's Day. She hobbles down the hallway to greet us along with her husband (my wife's father). We exchange a plesant greeting. Karen takes a minute to collect herself, plops her ass down onto a seat at the kitchen table and starts to regale my wife and I about how unbelievably terrible all these "Hispanic and Latino dipshits" are and how they almost allegedly killed her in the hospital.
Was I shocked to hear this? Absolutely not - this is the kind of racist and hateful behavior I have come to expect from this woman (Karen loves to day drink so these colorful allegories were always abundant at get togethers).
Without missing a beat Karen starts imitating the broken English spoken by the nursing staff at hospitals she was at and starts cackling maniacally (Iike a villain from a cartoon). I look over at her husband who is rolling his eyes (this poor man - I love him 1000x more than his bitch of a wife). I then look over at my wife who looked quite embarrassed.
After Karen nearly choked on her own fat ass tongue while laughing, I decided to interrupt her little racist tirade with a simple "you must live a pretty sad life if that's all you can say about those nurses after they essentially saved you from an early grave. Couldn't be me though - I would be extremely grateful."
Before the old bat could loudly and quickly change subjects (this is her defense mechanism - to drown out any retorts to her conversation in the hopes of not being faced with differing opinions) I continued saying "my Mother raised me to follow one simple rule: if you can't say anything nice, then shut your mouth".
Watching the smile on her face quickly turn to a frown was a top 5 life moment for me. There is absolutely no greater feeling than putting one of these tired and desperate fools in their place.
Needless to say the rest of the gathering was pretty quiet and the old bitch retired to her bed a few short hours later (without any additional incidents).
The point of my boomer story is this: these haggard old imbeciles will never learn how unacceptable their behavior is unless we call them out on it. Don't be afraid - speak out and speak up!

Earlier this year I stumbled upon a very funny amateur song on X (twitter) but because of the curbersome search and lack of search words I can't find it. It was not part of any album nor made by a known artist.It was just a short 2 min user-made video, maybe with the help of AI, maybe originally posted on another media like tiktok.
The video showed only text/SMS private messages between a boyfriend a girlfriend. The girlfriend sends a picture of herself in a dress and asks if she's beautiful. The boyfriend says yes you're so hot. The GF says you bastard it's not me in that dress it's my sister, you find my sister hotter than me blablabla. She sends another picture of her sister in a dress. The BF says it's the ugliest thing he's ever seen. The girl says YOU BASTARD THIS IS ME IN THE DRESS.
It is sung by a male voice that reads both the BF and GF messages. The voice is likely software generated because of its tone consistency, but I'm sure the lyrics are human made. It is sung in a overly dramatic style that reminds me of bohemian rhapsody, that makes the story telling even funnier.
Anyone can find a twitter post or repost with that song?

I ( 22 f) met my bf let's call him V ( 23 M). We are classmates in our graduate degree. I made a really close friend because in my recent university since its hard adjusting to new environment because my ideas were clashing with everyone in class and I have social anxiety. So I met V during my classes i was hesitant, I thought he was a nice guy and way out of my league.
Ok so I will give a detailed view of my friend S (22 F) she was in a casual relationship with a doctor who's a mumma's boy. She has lost her father. Yup so it was all roses and peonies until our classes being it was going well then as soon as classes started a guy in our class gets obsessed with him let's call him Y he would message her, stalk her online, and try to talk to her. Mind you at this time me and S were really close like sharing everything her tell how her 1st relationship ended her been r*ped and how she never had a father figure and she lost her brother in covid too. I told her how I belong to an orthodox family were i have to follow all my parents decisions and they are doing so for my well being only she told it's just holding me up. I also told how my previous relationship ended 1st being dating a play boy who tried to get in pants with all my girl bestie and I talked about my recent breakup were i was verbally abused and physical hurt. During this time she also started getting closer to Y because he was complementing her and encouraging her while she was drifting away from her bf because his mother hated my friend. S and Y starts sharing notes she breaks up with her bf and in a week's span gets with Y. I didn't question it because her now ex's was a karen and rude she wanted to get emotional support which Y provided ignoring the fact he stalked her and apparently she was happy. Also they have a vibrant lifestyle too much vibrant for me which she likes to talk about and Y is apparently like those bad biker boys our mom tells to stay away from tattoos and hitting daily gym.
Ok so yup now lets get to main story, so as soon as my friend S starts to date Y, she doesn't talk to me much and we are losing touch. I don't have any other friend so she introduces me to V ( my now ex) who's a good friend of Y and they have a close group of 4 people. So I start talking to V he hit it off and becomes good friends. During this time my family is undergoing lose of my both grandparents and V doesn't even come to give emotional support. It's ok I was ok with it. We have started dating by then. I lived with my grandparents for context.
Then it's all good we don't fight much but the issue starts two month before our break up. I wasn't in my right mind and he was constantly asking me to check random caller ids. When I ask why he told me about his ex who was a crazy girl and forcing him to marry her since they have had intimate relationship which he didn't want to. Then she started seeing other guys and shared her cheating pics with him. He told me how he have saved everything as proof that she's mentally harassing him. I felt awkward like who saves his ex's intimate pictures as proof but as i said i wasn't in that mental state but provided him comfort and support.
Then the harsh reality struck me I when on his birthday i was enjoying with that close 5 people group a friend of his started calling me fat (I was bloated) and I don't say anything usually since it was V's birthday i didn't want to argue everyone were in good mood but he never defends, 2 days after I hear from him his friends along with Y and S were saying i was sleeping with someone. He then started to accuse me of cheating i talked him out of it and it was all good until my exams started.
I didn't study this year well so before exams i wanted to try my best so i wasn't speaking to him much. So again he said I am not talking to him, ignoring him and talking to him rudely. Like my personality has flipped 360⁰, I didn't sat much then he knew i only talked to S, my friend who was now his close friend to asking to talk to me what's wrong with me why I am not picking his calls. I told her how irritating it is that he keeps doubting i am dating someone else. Then I didn't answer his text since it was mostly:
What have I done wrong ? Is something wrong ?
I simply told him I need time and we will talk after exams. And didn't text anything, a day after our 1st exam he confronts me with his group of friends including Yand S. Kept on asking did I tell my friend i irritate him. And again accused me of cheating i angrily said yes i did because I was fed up at this point. On my way home he shared my tinder id of which I created when I was 19 and forgot to delete while uninstalling.
Now I have no one on my side everyone thinks I am a cheater because I feel he have showed this to everyone. Even my friend whom I trusted has blocked me. Should I go apologize to my ex for ghosting and being rude?

So, I have an issue that has happened this week and I need to know if I'm overreacting, under reaction or if I should lawyer up. On Thursday my child got into my car after school, she didn't look like herself, I asked what was wrong and she started balling saying that a kid threatened her. So I had her explain to me what happened middle school teenagers are drama. Long story short in her google classroom her friends and a boys friends were talking crap back and forth not unusual. Then the boy took her aside and told her that if his friend cries that he's going to shoot her and pointed to her chest and then showed pictures of guns. Witness statements were made and filed in the office, not one communication from the school came to us. My buddy said hell no dialed up the sheriff and had me tell what happened. The parents of the boy were already at the school when the deputy showed up to gather info. Keep in mind still not a phone call from the school or email or anything yet it's 4pm threat happened at 1pm. The sheriff did his job gathered info and did a soft inquiry on everything cool dude just I feel it wasn't enough. Friday the wife meets with the school find that said boy is suspended and that no other recommendations at this time. The principal and vice both didn't feel the need to even come in person for this meeting. While this was happening I meet with county superintendent and he legit had no action and referred to go through the school itself. Now my daughter at this point is hanging tough but is super sketched on going to school at this point. What do you guys think? What is the next course of action?
Update5/28: held my daughter from school because the boy who made the threat is back at school. Will be meeting with principal, district superintendent and emailed every member of the school board.

I have been thinking of this lately. There comes a time when somebody realizes this truth that ISIS is hiding behind that veil. This generation particularly, we have people that are saying to themselves, "there has to be more to life than this. This work from 9-5, this 'raising a family' and this thing to achieve goals, goals that other people put on me'"
This world and the younger people are shifting into a new paradigm, and we don't want to follow our parents footsteps. We don't want to do what they did, and some of us don't WANT to participate AT ALL in this game that has been brought upon us unwillingly, called life. However..
In these groups, there is always one person who experiences what I consider TRUE awakening. This is the TRUE spiritual awakening that is unexplainable. These are the ones who see beyond that. These are the ones that the Gods gift with vision beyond the construct. These are usually the ones living terrible lives, possibly in rehabilitation programs, or court ordered programs, some even in jail, or in broken homes that makes life seem bleak and meaningless, but you begin to seek more.
When your so low at the bottom, and a true spiritual unfoldment occurs and the consciousness realizes itself, and realizes that it's asleep, inside of this dream and now completely lucid, your shoot back up into your heaven within at such a powerful impact you feel as if though you are seeing the center of the universe. This is almost like a experience on DMT however you are totally sober and it came to you like a thief in the night.
These are the ones who have obtained what is called the Anomoly. Because that's what it is. No doctor, or psychologist, no one with PHD's and doctrines can treat this. This is not, what they want you to believe, a disorder. You are not this is actually the opposite, it's putting your soul in-order. This is what we can all achieve but they don't want us to, so they dilute all the God given keys within us to obtain this state.
This is a state where matter is nothing but a picture. A moving image, where you are just one single tiny limitation away from putting your hand right through it, like it's mist or just some smoke. But there is always one, atleast one, that obtains the Anomoly. I am beginning to believe, however, that this generation is moving at a pace where multiple people are beginning to obtain this Anomoly.
Your purpose isn't to work a 9/5 you weren't born for that. As much as I believe this life is a curse, and it's blasphemous to have even been born, even though our parents were and still are oblivious to these philosophical statements, we are truly special. Only those who are REAL and not programmed to just believe they are real.
The awakening can be triggered through knowledge (gnosis) and the conscious soul experiencing the self awareness of its own self. But the effect is really what counts, and that is the emotion you feel when this happens. The emotion is like nothing you have ever felt before, this is an emotion BEYOND all human conception. There is no such thing as a logic explanation for it. This is an emotion that is so important. In the moment of this emotion occurring, you literally feel the soul of the entire earth, and you feel the entire universe unfold only FOR YOU and nobody else. This is ALL for you...
Haven't you noticed? The world certainly revolves around you. You yourself is the Anomoly. It's not coming from anywhere except inside of you. The story has been yours all along you just didn't even know it.
The love you feel for your family and spouse, and children, as hard of a pill it is to accept what I'm about to say, it's a illusion. It isnt true true love. Everyone inside of this world besides you, is an enemy. Because they are distractions. But when you have the spiritual awakening you will feel what real universal love is when you dive into the cosmic ocean of God. Outside of the matrix.

I need help learning how to become an Instagram star. How do I begin? Should I tweet, post stories, and make loops every day if I use Instagram Promote to keep people following me? Do you need to post more pictures of yourself in bikinis to become popular? What kinds of pictures do people like the most?

Honestly? I know posting this again and again on this sub is what I’ve been doing lately and I’m now kind of loosing hope. But even if someone still seems interested? I’ll post again!
I hope everyone is having a wonderful time.
Pls ignore if you want to ghost.
A little bit about myself- So basically I love movies, loves some good music, I read sometimes, I meditate, does workout, watches cartoons too sometimes(SpongeBob SquarePants & Adventure time are my favorites), Chainsaw man has been my favourite anime, recently finished berserk now reading the manga, kind of a foodie, can cook also & I have a huge collection of memes.
I’d really like make some friends here. I’d really love to have some deep,weird,funny conversations no matter what you’d like to talk about even if they’re nsfw. But would really love some real connections & I'm up for long term friendships.
Also last year got diagnosed with Tinnitus unfortunately.
Have been on a rough place mentally, so kind of knows what it feels like to be alone & the irony is that I’m still alone. But would love to have someone to talk to, to be there if someone needs or want to vent out. Still going through a very rough patch. But it’ll be fine. Can say I’ve changed but for good.
My hands made me popular- So I accidentally found about that theres a thing about hands people like? So I started posting from last year as people like my hands. Eventually people also started to catfish people around the internet using my hand pictures. Fixed that! But had to make a Tumblr account. So I mostly post there now. Honestly? From last year till now? I’ve discovered so many new things & yes most of them are nsfw. Currently active on Tumblr as I’m posting more of my hands there.
Kind of bad at conversations at first but once I understand the vibe of the person I’m talking to I try to match the vibe. Im a quick Lerner & a good listener too!
Yes! I’m a biker too!
I do have a doggo too, so I can like send u pictures of him. & yes, I’m a guy!
Also my chats here are messed up so if you want? do add me on discord or Snapchat.
It'll be all upto u that it's SFW or NSFW! But do just point it out. Cause it's important to know before a great start of our conversations also I'm like making NSFW reference jokes all the time & into NSFW big times. Currently practising SR and yeah it’s cool. But if you have a dirty mind? It’s a bonus cause I’m big times into nsfw and I’d love to be able to talk freely about anything.
Superpowers I have? Well I have a photographic memory, sometimes I can continue the dream I left of after waking up to to go pee and come back to sleep, my visualisation game is way too strong like if you tell me a story or an incident, I'm mentally there and could see it. I once did NoFap for 111 days.
Pros of having me as a friend? · I'm there for you whenever you want someone to talk to or vent to. · I barely judge anyone, so I just make sure if someone is comfortable around me. · I'm actually pretty good at giving some good advices. I've saved life's if u want know. · I'll send you memes everyday. Best ones. · I'm dominant person!
Cons of having me? · I send you memes everyday!
& if no one told you today, you’re really amazing/beautiful, you’re doing great! You got this! have a wonderful weekend & you’re not alone!
Let's see how many times I have to post such stuff to find a friend! Sigh
Since reddit is broken, add me on discord! Or telegram & Please wherever you add me or text me kindly give an introduction! And please don’t just send “Hi” or “Hello”. I’m putting much efforts to tell you so much so I’d like at least a little introduction of yours.
P.s. I have a humble request, if you’d ghost me after just having a conversation once, then please don’t text. It hurts when you’ve been ghosted while u had a conversation with a person and you plan to talk about more stuff but you’re ghosted! It’s just stupid.
Also! I'm straight. So freaky guys! Just no please. 🤦🏻‍♂️
Sorry if I didn't respond to your message, my reddit chats are going bonkers lately! Kindly add me on discord.
Sorry for a really long text! Here’s a Doggo u can pat 🐶

this is long, I know, but for 20 years I've told nobody about this and it's been eating me alive.
My dad is generally very abusive towards my mom both physically and emotionally, and her being an immigrant who married him and left her career behind to be a mom made her unable to retaliate or even leave the marriage due to the financial chokehold my dad had on us. Divorce is also very taboo in our culture, which led to my mom never telling her family about anything that had happened until very recently; even now, she has only told them bits and pieces out of sheer desperation after my dad called them and spent hours manipulating them with sob stories about how he just can't live with such a "demanding, arrogant woman" but was only doing so "for the kids". Scratch that, because he has now made it his "demanding, arrogant family", including me (20F) and my sister (8F).
I was born shortly after my parents got married (an arranged marriage) and my dad spent hours on the phone with my grandad when my mom was pregnant with me, where my grandad would make up ridiculous stories about how my mom's family had "disrespected" them and how that made them horrible people. This was clearly to rile up my dad, who would then get physically and emotionally abusive with my mom, yelling at her and even strangling her while she was pregnant.
I grew up with my dad acting the same way towards my mom, but with him showering praise and love on me (only through his words), all the while slipping in a few details about how my mom was irrational and crazy but he was so much better and how she had manipulated him into making ridiculous sacrifices for her (taking her to the doctor when she was sick). I grew up with my mom yelling at me and even cursing at me for the simplest accidents and mistakes, going on and on about how every other child was good but she'd been cursed with me and how i didn't fear her enough. She'd rarely come back and apologize or make fun of me for crying - I could never find a pattern. While all of this is wrong on her part, I can't help but notice how a stranger abusing you all the time and treating you like trash while you toil away as a housewife thousands of miles away from any family and forbidden by that man from having friends would break your mind to at least that degree.
My dad never bought me or my mom anything that would give us happiness; not out of poverty (he made good money) but purely because he would lie saying that he was broke while sending his lazy family thousands of dollars every month.
He would claim that things like theme parks were too expensive for birthdays to which i would beg to go to a Chuck E Cheese's, which he would also claim was too expensive for him to afford, going on speeches abut how I had to be "more understanding of how daddy is struggling to make ends meet." He never got me any toys past the age of 3, not even ones from the dollar store. He also never got me a barbie doll despite me begging for years.
I was also forbidden from having any friends, going to birthday parties/sleepovers because "if you go to their parties you have to buy presents, which we can't afford, and you'll also need to throw a party for your birthday, which we can't afford either." It got to the point where when a girl miraculously wanted to be my friend and would come ring my doorbell to go play with her, I would be told to stay silent and pretend nobody was home. I never had any video games growing up, and never had the experience of waking up on christmas/my birthday and unwrapping presents or even having someone get me anything at all. We never even went to restaurants - fast food chains were a biannual event. I never went out to buy pretty clothes ever - i was lucky to go clothes-shopping once a year at walmart. I didn't need much clothes or shoes since i never went out anyway. All i would buy were uniforms for the public school i went to. We never even had nice furniture, because who gives a shit when nobody is coming to our house anyway. He complained about the 1000 he spent on a sofa once our decade-old one was withering, also claiming that to be an example of how my momn was an exorbitant spender.
We went to Disney and Seaworld once each when i was 3-4, and my dad decided that was it. These were simply experiences for him to show other people pictures of to prove that he was a wonderful dad.
As a family of 3 whose idea of a grand excursion was walmart superstore and a child who would act like she had won the lottery if her dad got her a ring pop, he'd claim he spent about 5k a month in "expenses" and also had a 20k credit card debt by the time I was 9. His yearly compensation was about 70k after taxes at this point, but both me and my mom knew that asking him about this would lead to him being more abusive, so we never did.
By the time i turned 10, i was lonely, depressed, and suicidal. Puberty was hitting me and it just made all my emotions worse. I didn't know how to word these emotions as I was too young but I knew I wanted a pet, which was forbidden. So I asked for a sibling. My mom had told me she planned on another child, and I told myself that a sibling would solve my problems. I wouldn't be bored or sad because I'd have a partner for the rest of my life. I was told I can never go to therapy for burnout/suicidal thoughts because "what would people think if they somehow found out my daughter had seen a shrink?"
I love my sister, but I sometimes wish she weren't here so that I could just end it without having to think about her future. Selfish, I know, but she is the only reason I never went through with any of my suicide attempts. I love her to pieces and I would never forgive myself if I left her alone with my two parents to become what I have.
I've moved out and live at college. I don't work, my dad gives me an allowance each month because he "doesn't want his precious girl working at a fast-food joint". In reality, he knows it would reflect poorly on him now that he earns 6 figures a year working from home. I'm 20 now, and I still struggle from time-to-time with accepting that I deserve to have little things that make me happy. I deserve to buy a trinket that I think is cute. I'm allowed to go to a burger place again the next day because I liked it. No, your life is not going to crumble because you bought a pair of jeans despite having a pair. No, sustaining yourself doesn't really cost 2000 dollars a month.
Looking back now, I can't ever remember a time when I was any less mature than I am now. It's like I told myself when I was 6 or something that I had to be an adult who didn't prioritize happiness or fun because those were luxuries. Growing up I'd hear people say "you're so mature for your age" and I would feel proud of myself, but i know see that all of that was actually not a good thing at all.
Me moving out means that my sister is unfortunately alone at home with my two parents. My mom has kind of come around after years of me explaining how she was not being a good parent, but still gets angry at accidents without thinking. My dad is still abusive. I suggested they get my sister a nintendo switch so that she has something to do - she's been saying that she's inexplicably anxious all the time and has trouble relaxing, and I know that the cost is something we can definitely afford. My dad spent the next hour yelling about how i was asking too much of him and how we were all conspiring against him and how he "can't kill himself for us" because IF the device malfunctions, my sister would "cry asking for another one". My sister, who was jumping up-and-down in excitement when I suggested the switch, held back tears as she told me she didn't want it anymore and that it was okay. That's when I broke.
I see my sister being denied the little joys of life and tricking herself into thinking she doesn't need to have nice things gives me immeasurable rage and sadness. She's becoming me. She's becoming a shell of a girl, one who gets praised for "never asking for things" and being "disciplined". One who will grow up with absolutely no childhood at all because she was never allowed to be one. This happened at 10am today. It's 1pm as i type this and i'm still choking back tears. I can't believe I can't save her. I hope that in 1 more year when i graduate I can go no contact with him and take my sister with me wherever I go. My dad has started telling my sister in private that I am a horrible big sister to her and that i'll drain him of money and abandon her too once I get a job, which thank god, she didn't fall for. I don't know what to do until then.

This is the life story of my closest friend (20, Male). Sana marami kayong oras kase medyo mahaba at sobrang nakakastress eto. I wrote this post with my POV and his POV na rin. Kase some events here hindi directly sinabi kay friend, but was opened up to my mom by his mom.
He is aware na ipopost ko to, di siya redditor eh so I hope din na makapag bigay kayo ng advice or kahit comfort. I’ll send the screenshots to him. Badly needed.
I’ll use code letters din baka kase may kamag anak siyang nag rereddit eh.
Let’s start with his Fam. My friend R (M,20) ever since nakilala ko siya medyo confusing na ang work ng papa niya. Every once a week lang umuuwi and di niya dala apelyido ng papa niya for the reason na nung pinanganak siya eh nasa ibang bansa raw etong tatay. Una palang alam na ng parents ko na there is something wrong, given na illegitimate child ako pero dala ko apelyido ng papa ko dahil official sila naghiwalay ng first wife niya before having rs with my mom.
Anyways, yun nga we feel na there is always something wrong. Ang style pa ng family nila, si R never nadala or naipakilala sa side ng papa niya, through stories niya lang kilala ang grandparents niya. Di rin siya aware sa totoong work ng papa niya basta ang alam niya Dog trainer daw kase andaming nilalagay na ano sa bahay nila and sinasabing pinapaalagaan daw or tinetrain.
Nung bata pa ako friend ko ang papa niya, nakakakwentuhan ko. Nalaman ko na may real Chinese name siya and marami raw silang business as family (lumber, seahorse, bonsai) pero through time natakot at naturn off sakanya so di ko na siya pinapansin. Okay here is the downfall
For the first year nila nakatira diyan kasama pa ang tita ni R pero once umalis nagsimula na yung abuse and downfall events.

1. Ever since bata siya ginagawang panakot ng mama niya ang papa niya sa kanya pag ayaw sumunod ni R. Siyempre as bata medyo makulit diba. Ginagawang pang disiplina yung “sige sumbong kita sa papa mo” Which sabi niya sakin basta one day nagising na lang siyang takot sa papa niya. Lol I wonder why diba. Ever since din very emotionally dismissive na fam niya na every time na natatakot siya eh iniignore, and iniiwan siya ng mama niya kabilang bahay mag isa para lang tabihan papa sa kabila and u know what.(dalawang unit house nila magkatabi)
   
2. Napagbuhatan si R ng kamay ng papa niya dahil di siya sumunod sa utos na wag lumabas kase aalis siya at ang mama ni R. Grade 8 siya nito at sinikmuraan siya.
   
3. After umalis ng tita niya sa bahay nila sinisigawan na ng papa niya ang mama niya. Dun na rin nag start ang pag hoard niya ng aso. Imagine super liit ng space ng garahe nila at loob pero umabot sila ng 23 dogs ang nakalagay. Patong-patong na ang cages, meron sa kusina, sa tabi ng kama etc. Di lang din aso, pati ibon din. Lahat ng yun mag isa mama niya sa pag aasikaso, di siya makatulong dahil takot siya makagat which is nangyari na sa mama niya
   
4. After nun, halos pag umuuwi na papa niya lagi na minumura at sinisigawan mama niya lalo na pag nagkamali sa pagpapakain ng aso (walang utak, walang silbi) lahat ng verbal abuse.
   
5. Just imagine the smell, the noise. Hays.
   
6. Kahit ganun, naoobserve ni R na mahal ng mama niya ang papa niya, pinag hahandaan breakfast, lahat ng need prepared na ultimo pati susuotin. To the point na feeling ni R mas mahal ng mama niya papa niya kase yung food na masarap, or mga pancit canton di siya pinapayagan lutuin dahil para raw sa tatay niya (sobrang payat ni friend). May experience daw siya na tira tirang mcdo na lang inuwi sa kanya ng papa niya kumbaga yung may bawas na
   
7. Wala ring lasa food nila dahil ayaw raw sa asin ng tatay niya
   
8. Medyo madamot din daw sa pera, sobrang tipid na pagkakasyahin 1k in 2 weeks or less. Mas marami pa binibigay na dog food
   
9. Last last year, ang mama niya ay naubos nung nadiscover niya na nambabae ang tatay ni R (nag uwi ng panty na black, may nakitang dalawang bote ng Sogo sa basurahan). After nito nag aattempt na ang mama niya umalis at tumira sa probinsya pero di niya maiwan si R dahil nga pinapaaral siya ng papa niya.
   
10. She gave one last chance but the abused continues. And it’s obvious na loveless na ang rs nila (di na sila nagsesex or nagtatabi matulog) this was revealed kay mama.
    
11. Last year his mom finally left at tumira na sa Bicol. Asking her sister na mag bantay muna kay R. Sobrang sama ng loob ni R nun kase di man lang siya kinausap ng maayos kung ano bang plano, or anong mga dapat gawin after umalis ng mama niya. Di rin siya kinakamusta ng mama niya like after 3-4months na bago nag chat.
    
12. After umalis ng mama niya wala na nag aalaga sa mga aso at ibang hayop to the point na minsan 2-3 days sila walang kain at linis sa kulungan. Andaming namatay dahil sa gutom at sakit. Nung unang months nauutusan siya ng papa niya pakainin yung 52 love birds, at ibang aso na kalmado, and dahil dito nakareceive yung friend ko ng verbal abuse sa papa niya pag nagkakamali siya ng sunod. Ang sama ng loob ko sa mama niya dahil iniwan siya sa ere di man lang siya sinabihan kung anong dapat gawin.
    
13. Dalawa kase unit ng house nila which is originally sa tita niya nung nag aabroad pa, pinasalo and eventually di na nabayaran yung isang unit at yung isang unit don nabayaran dun nag sstay papa niya and sobrang dugyot daw (nandun yung mga birds and two big dogs) Sobrang baho, daming basura, honestly di namin alam paano siya nakakatulog or stay don. Nakakasuka
    
14. Si R ay second year second sem na sana kaso hindi na binayaran ang tuition niya amounting to 55k. The reason why don nag aaral si R is because pinush siya ng mama niya and nung kinausap niya papa niya ay kaya naman daw babayaran daw etc. But hindi nangyari. First yr niya 70% ng tuition niya kaibigan ni R nagbayad. Pagkasecond year ayun na, d na nabayaran first sem so di na siya tumuloy pag second sem. Sayang masipag siya mag aral and may sports. Mataas nga ang grades niya despite having that kind of envi sa bahay nila. Tengga sa bahay now si R and trying to find jobs but super mentally drained and depressed. Wala gana. Wala ring funds.
    
15. Ngayon ever since tita kasama niya sa bahay binawasan na ng papa niya mga aso at inalis na rin ibon kase nga if it continues lahat sila mamamatay. Problema naman nila ngayon sobrang tinitipid sila ng papa niya.
    
16. So this whole pag stop sa pag aaral nakarating sa mama niya. Diba 3-4 months bago siya kausapin ng mama niya after umalis. Actually di talaga siya kinamusta, pinipilit siya na kumbinsihin papa niya na bayaran ang tuition yung usapan nila na ganyan is it’s been like this for months now to the point na nagsasawa na si R kausap sila kase pagod na siya, stress, pressured. Di naman siya nagkulang sa pagpapaalala sa papa niya with pictures pa nga. Sa chat, sa personal. One time sabi ng papa niya (ako bahala mag proproduce ako) this was two months ago pero wala pa rin ptngina
    
17. Eto pa matindi, diba hindi na nga siya kinakamusta ng mama niya potangina nilalamangan pa sa pera. Everytime na may pera siya or alam na may nagbigay gusto pinapahati sa tita or bigyan daw. Yung budget din na binibigay ng papa niya one time kinupit ng tita niya kase nagbakasyon sa bicol. So nung may bills, kay R nagbigay papa niya. Nung sinabi niya to sa mama niya BASICALLY SA VC SUMESENYAS MAMA NIYA SA TITA NIYA KASE SINASABI NG TITA NIYA NA WALA NA BABAYARAN SO SUMENYAS NG GANITO 🤫 PARA DI MAPUNTA KAY R YUNG PERA AND MAKUPIT NILANG MAGKAPATID TxnGINA.
    
18. Latest update kagabi, nag chat mama saakin ni R saying na iconvince ko raw si R na umuwi ng Bicol at don mag aral dahil nagkausap na raw sila ng papa niya at pumayag na bayaran tuition at sustentuhan which we HUGELY doubt. Ako inutusan mag convince dahil di na raw sila pinapansin ni R, well what do u expect. Everytime na tatawag bungad yung pilit na kausapin tatay. Sinasabihan pa siyang tinatamad na raw mag aral. Tapos di rin aware si R sa plan niya palagi namang ganun ever since. Mga details ng family sa ibang tao niya nalalaman dahil nagkukwento mama niya sa iba.
    
19. My friend R, first came out to be as gay. Hindi siya makapag out sa fam niya dahil homophobic family ng mama at papa niya to the point na ginawa siyang testimonial sa kapitbahay na “naayos, gumaling, tumino” kase super lambot niya nung bata and naging closeted nung lumalaki so medyo naging masculine. Yun malaking reason din bat ayaw niya sa probinsya dahil homophobic mga tao don. Gwapo pa naman si friend, so ang laki ng expectations sakanya sa sexuality. He cried nung nag out sakin dahil sinubukan niya raw labanan yung identity niya, he prayed he asked God pero ganun pa rin. Takot siya kase he grew up thinking it was sin to be gay. Nakakaawa.
    

We plan na mag apply work sa June. We sent out resume sa fastfoods but to no avail dahil mababa raw sales ng SB. Sa MCDO naman dami applicants.
Freelancer ako but napabayaan ko work ko dahil sa sobrang demanding at bulok ng school ko. Hirap pa ng program ko. Medyo naiinis din ako sa self ko kase di ko siya matulungan but my time and resources is limited din. Mahal ko siya dahil parang kapatid na turing ko sa kanya. Halos lumaki siya kasama ako. Nakakaiyak. Natatakot ako dahil lately may suicidal thoughts na siya.
Di ko na alam. Di ko alam kung dapat ba lumayas na siya or what.

Welcome to all petrolheads, and car enthusiasts , I just found something absolutely mind blowing
so , Long story short . I’m a french dude, my step father had a step dad that told me a little story about when he was 20 , he had a 1987 Citroen cx gti 25 anniversary turbo2 version with the " turbo25-gti pack " , he loved that cat more than his gf back in the day ( that’s what he said ) and he put all his university money in that car , one night his gf got mad and took the keys to take it for a spin " to understand what made that stupid red and silver turbo shitbox so special " , she fucked the car up in a ditch and his brother hid the car in a barn near where she had her accident and "we never talked about it since ."
3 years ago I got a call , his fiancée called me to say that his heart failed and that he was at the hospital, I rushed there and made a promise that I’ll find at least a piece of that car and get it for him if he promised to stay strong and survived , for 6 month he stayed at the hospital and I searched everywhere for that car , until one day he called me to say that he found a picture of him with his cx and the damn license plate was visible , I searched the Citroen and nearby garages archives for a vin number for 3 years until I found a hint , but before I could verify if I was right he passed away , yesterday I got to an abandoned Citroen garage in Italy and I finally found it , after 34 years looking for that car I found it ! I was in fucking years all day and I found the number of the guy who has it and his thinking about if he wants to sell it to me .
So yeah maybe I’m telling to much of my life but I had to do it beacause today was the best day of my entire existence ( btw if you wants some pics of the car I would love to show , it in a new update maybe ? )
Anyways thx for your time and see ya ;)

f 22)well there is a lot story to tell but to telll short, im from india and my parents are muslims, and they are very toxic to me especially my mother, both verbally and physically sometimes, my father is caring he works hard and provides for the family but my mom and dad doesnt have a goood relationship but they stay together , coz divorce is out of picture for them coz my mom cant survive alone and thats how the culture works most of the time, and my mom showed all anger and frustationt to me and she treats me shit infront of everyone and alone. i used all these hatred as a fuel to my academic success in school and first year of university, and even still my mom has problems with me and my dad bever stopped her, and from 2nd year of university and during 2020, i fell into deep depression and i used to have panic attacks daily and it was triggerd due to some eye infection i had so anyways, my mom was there for me yeah, like she used to be kind of a therapist , but anyways. now i quit my degree from university due to cont failure after almost 5 years, and all this 5 years my mom everyday repeats me "how a loser you are and how useless you are and how stupid and bad you are and how you are sucking your father's blood by eating all 3 times and having a nice life" so lol
this how i am treated everyday, so i have developed this thinking that "i failed my parents" where i could have made them rich by completing the degree on time and got a good job. so this guilt is killing me from making me not enjoy anything i do. like when i watch a movie i think like "i owe my parents a lot and i am enjoying this"
in real i dont think i have to owe my parentts anything, but i have too much empathy on them coz how they were traumatized and how they stuck in some societal way of living and how they are immature and innocent, but they are also extremely toxic,
all i want to do is stay away from india and settle somewhere else and be financially stable and give them money. but i dont like the culture or religious beliefs they hold, but im still mentally controlled by them. i think i cant really do things i like and want without getting out of this emotional connection. im afraid out of the thought not wanting to hurt my parents ill end up following my culture and religion and live life how my parents want me to live (like get arranged marriage at 25, have kids and be a house wife to some toxic husband who wants me to just raise kids and wash dishes )
i also think that i dont deserve love? thats what my mind says, coz my mom constantly repeatts it. i have come to a mindset that i should never marry an indian coz all my cousin's husbands are so toxic. i dont even know if i wanna marry anyone, but to think of it , its scary and i cant and dont want to live like them, for all these i have to get out of my country or ateast my city and be financially stable , which will happen in 2-3 years, but i am not having confidence at all,
ALL I WANNA KNOW IS, HOW CAN I LIVE THE LIFE I WANT WHEN MY PARENTS WILL GET HEART ATTACK IF THEY KNOW I LIVE THE LIFE I WANT. like for example i cant date anyone lol, so if someday i wanna date somoene i will have this thought of "my parents willl cry and be hurt if they know i have dated someone"
i mean they have their reasons to think so , but idk i feel affected by it and it doesnt let me to do what i wanna do fully

Welcome to all petrolheads, and car enthusiasts , I just found something absolutely mind blowing
so , Long story short . I’m a french dude, my step father had a step dad that told me a little story about when he was 20 , he had a 1987 Citroen cx gti 25 anniversary turbo2 version with the " turbo25-gti pack " , he loved that cat more than his gf back in the day ( that’s what he said ) and he put all his university money in that car , one night his gf got mad and took the keys to take it for a spin " to understand what made that stupid red and silver turbo shitbox so special " , she fucked the car up in a ditch and his brother hid the car in a barn near where she had her accident and "we never talked about it since ."
3 years ago I got a call , his fiancée called me to say that his heart failed and that he was at the hospital, I rushed there and made a promise that I’ll find at least a piece of that car and get it for him if he promised to stay strong and survived , for 6 month he stayed at the hospital and I searched everywhere for that car , until one day he called me to say that he found a picture of him with his cx and the damn license plate was visible , I searched the Citroen and nearby garages archives for a vin number for 3 years until I found a hint , but before I could verify if I was right he passed away , yesterday I got to an abandoned Citroen garage in Italy and I finally found it , after 34 years looking for that car I found it ! I was in fucking years all day and I found the number of the guy who has it and his thinking about if he wants to sell it to me .
So yeah maybe I’m telling to much of my life but I had to do it beacause today was the best day of my entire existence ( btw if you wants some pics of the car I would love to show , it in a new update maybe ? )
Anyways thx for your time and see ya ;)

Hello Reddit. This is going to be a kinda long story, but I just need to get this off my chest.
My Name is Jake, I’m a 19 year old male. And recently i sexted a 15 year old that I am now feeling deep shame, regret and guilt for because of my actions. You might’ve seen this post a million times already, but that’s because I don’t know what to do. I need some advice.
Anyways, I met him on an NSFW chatroom, where we were anonymous, but unfortunately I sent him nude pics (which had partial face in it) and I would even catfish and pretend to be older women and send pictures of other women to this 15 year old. Thankfully he never sent me any nudes. (Or if he did, i didn’t see them because I left the chatroom)
He didn’t mind that we sexted, he never even knew my age, but it’s no excuse.
I do not want to keep this a secret from anybody, because I feel like people should know. Especially my parents, because they did not raise me to be like this. I wish I could apologize to the 15 year old, but unfortunately since we were anonymous i don’t know who he is and he probably doesn’t even remember who I am.
Should I turn myself into police? Even though I never wanna do this ever again, i just feel so lost and confused. I committed a serious crime, and the guilt has been eating me up everyday. Making me anxious, paranoid and sick to my stomach worried that the 15 year old is hurt and police can come to my house anyday and arrest me for it.
I’m not a pedo, I was just lonely and it was just a dumb decision I’ve made with my dick instead of thinking with my brain. It didn’t feel good while doing it, and I should’ve listened to my heart. I’m not pushing any blame on the 15 year old by any means, because this is all my fault.
I’ve been thinking about killing myself everyday for the past month because of this, knowing that I can never make it up to the child, or apologize for my sick actions to him. I have no excuse for what I did, I need to tell somebody but I don’t know how to bring it up. I’ve hurt and damaged my soul, but I deserve it.
Despite it all, my family is Christian, and I don’t know how They would feel knowing their son did something like this. I’ve tried to pray to god everyday but I feel like I’ve angered him. I’m losing all hope, and am afraid that there is no redemption for myself. I don’t know how to move on or forgive myself.
From now on, in the future, I will donate to charities for this kind of thing. It won’t make me forgive myself immediately, but I feel it would be a step in the right direction.

I'm 28M with my girlfriend 28F, together for about 7 years. We met on Tinder, and I saw immediately she was a nice and kind girl. However, in the summer we met, she acted weird, saying her mother needed her to stay at home, or she was too busy to meet because she had to clean the house or do other stuff. From then until now, she has been really kind, lovable, and someone who likes to make gifts.
Unfortunately, in that summer when we met (we were not together), I found out she was texting other guys. She would not let me see her phone and sometimes started to cry and get mad if I tried to take it without her consent . I discovered once while we were at the cinema buying tickets, she was texting a guy. She managed to let me walk straight, and she would text behind my back so I couldn't see, but I noticed her anyway and didn't want to confront her at the moment.
To cut it short, I later discovered she was meeting other guys when she told me she had to clean the house, etc. In particular, she was texting a lot with a guy she called her boyfriend (while she was seeing me) late at night, and sometimes during the day. I found this out because, at the time, I installed an app on her phone to see the messages. I couldn't see WhatsApp but only SMS, so I saw only the messages when they had no internet for some reason. This guy had three different phone numbers. He was alsousing a voice changer, I think. I also tried to search for him on Facebook and found his name related to religious cult in Mexico (praising the "Santa Muerte" which is kinda a satanic religion popular there). I was worried and mad at the same time because she was lying to me and texting with this guy without letting me know.
This guy was also manipulating her very well, and he was using fake pictures of another person on Tinder. I tried to call her many times, but she would not respond. He wanted to bring her to his apartment. She obviously didn't realize he was using fake pictures and was not the person she saw. Just a small detail, in the few messages I managed to see, he was calling her Princesa Mala (bad princess), and she was calling him porcino (little pig). He didn't want her to contact me; he told her to block me everywhere so I couldn't speak with her. One day, this guy contacted me with one of his phone numbers on WhatsApp, telling me that the girl was with him now and that I should stop harassing her or going to her house. I managed to write to her after she unblocked me on WhatsApp. I asked her if it was true that she met the guy, and she told me yes and that I should stop messaging her.
At that point, I felt very bad and thought I was just mad and the guy was not a fake; he was actually real. But later, I discovered this was not true, thanks to the app I had on her phone. They were still texting and saying when they should meet (they didn't meet at the time; both of them were lying to me). So I felt bad again and thought I should help this girl before leaving her. I tried to call her, she responded one night, and the call was recorded (I later found out because that guy wanted to listen to what I had to say to her). In the call, I was mad and told her this guy was fake, and she should stop talking to him immediately.
To cut this story short, she started slowly to believe me, and she blocked the guy. Although he would call her with different numbers, faking to be other people, also faking on Facebook to be some old friend of hers (he also tried with me, faking to be a classmate from my university). Anyway, in the end, she wanted to stay with me, and she started to get really attached to me. She didn't want to leave me anymore.
We are still together now. She seems very lovable and kind. She makes gifts to others and me. Whenever I get mad and bring up this story, she always tells me, "We were not together back at the time; we were just friends." I think it's true because, during those times, she told me she didn't want a serious relationship without knowing me better first. She decided to start a serious relationship with me later when we slept together for the first time, months after she blocked that psycho.
I feel now she is honest with me 99% of the time , she is dishonest only for very minor things like sometimes she doesn't want to speak on the phone with my mother and finds excuses like "I'm busy, I had to go to the bathroom," etc. (She probably secretly hates my mother a little because my mother sometimes rants to me about breaking up, saying I can find better girls, etc.) But besides this, I think she is honest and likes to give gifts to others, me, my family, etc. But one day, her brother, who suffers from some kind of schizophrenia, got mad with her. He would usually throw things at her when he gets mad. That time he started to write me on WhatsApp "cachudo, cachudo" many times in a row. I asked him what was going on, but he would not respond to me. Later, I searched online and found that cachudo means "horned" (getting cheated by the partner). So I told her, and she started to cry. She told me that her brother, when they get in an argument, gets mad and tries to make her suffer by doing random things and that it wasn't true. So I believed her. "I'm also 99.9% sure she is not cheating on me. We speak very often on the phone, and she wouldn't have the time because she needs to take care of her brother's son. Her brother is in a bad financial situation with his partner and needs my girlfriend to take care of their child while they go to work." Probably her brother was referring back to the time when she was meeting other guys, but she and I weren't together.
She is always very sweet-hearted. She wants to speak with me every day; we message every day. She wants to have a child with me and get married. She dreams of having a nice and happy family. But I confront her, saying that she has been a liar, and she tells me she is honest but sometimes lies to her mother only for minor things and also to stop thinking about the past because we were not together. By the way, I don't have a good rapport with her family. She is the only person I get along with. But I don't want to have a child now, and every time I tell her, she cries. I tried to leave her, but she doesn't want to. She would call me back. We went on many vacations many times, and we know each other very well. I did also wrong. I downloaded Tinder during a work trip in another country. I felt alone and wanted to see if there were other girls interested in me. There were some who gave me their numbers, but I just used them to speak a little and rejected all of them because I didn't want to betray my girlfriend. I told her this, and from that time, she wanted to start monitoring me on all the socials. If we went out with some friends and a girl started to speak to me, she would get instablocked on Instagram and Facebook. I can't speak with girls in general; otherwise, she would get angry with me. She wants to know every message I receive, who it's from, and she wants to video call when I go to the gym. Some days ago, I spoke randomly with a girl at the gym (yes, I was in the video call, and I know it's weird), just a brief chat to use a machine. She later got mad at me, started to cry, and told me I should go at another hour to the gym. She says this is because I betrayed her by downloading Tinder.
I feel like I like her personality and being with her as best friends but not in a relationship anymore. I told her, but she doesn't want to leave me and cries and calls me continuously. She also insists on having a child, but I don't want it, she says that envetually I'll change idea.
Her jealousy, by the way, is tremendously high now. She is truly obsessed with the idea that I should not speak with any female. I know this is partially my fault because I downloaded Tinder when I was far from home (although, as I said, I rejected all the girls who contacted me and wanted to meet because I didn't want to betray her) and sometimes when we were at the restaurant I've looked at some other attractive girls (it didn't happen often though).
So:
I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't know if I should wait or start blocking her to leave her (it's the only way; I know she would call me back).
TL;DR:
I've been with my girlfriend (both 28) for about 7 years. We met on Tinder, but during the first summer, she was texting other guys and meeting them secretly. She was manipulated by one guy with fake profiles. Eventually, she believed me and blocked him. Now, she's kind and loving but very jealous, monitoring all my interactions with women (because I partially cheated with her texting with other girls). Her brother, who has schizophrenia, once accused her of cheating (years ago when we were just starting our relationship), but she is honest now I'm sure about it (believe me she is not cheating, take it as if it's 100% true). She wants to have a child and get married, but I don't feel ready. I'm conflicted about staying together or breaking up, as I care for her but struggle with the relationship's dynamics.
P.S.: Keep in mind that the start of the story was just 7 years ago when we were meeting for the first time. From then onward, the relationship went fine besides the mistakes I mentioned, I guess.

(f 22)well there is a lot story to tell but to telll short, im from india and my parents are muslims, and they are very toxic to me especially my mother, both verbally and physically sometimes, my father is caring he works hard and provides for the family but my mom and dad doesnt have a goood relationship but they stay together , coz divorce is out of picture for them coz my mom cant survive alone and thats how the culture works most of the time, and my mom showed all anger and frustationt to me and she treats me shit infront of everyone and alone. i used all these hatred as a fuel to my academic success in school and first year of university, and even still my mom has problems with me and my dad bever stopped her, and from 2nd year of university and during 2020, i fell into deep depression and i used to have panic attacks daily and it was triggerd due to some eye infection i had so anyways, my mom was there for me yeah, like she used to be kind of a therapist , but anyways. now i quit my degree from university due to cont failure after almost 5 years, and all this 5 years my mom everyday repeats me "how a loser you are and how useless you are and how stupid and bad you are and how you are sucking your father's blood by eating all 3 times and having a nice life" so lol
this how i am treated everyday, so i have developed this thinking that "i failed my parents" where i could have made them rich by completing the degree on time and got a good job. so this guilt is killing me from making me not enjoy anything i do. like when i watch a movie i think like "i owe my parents a lot and i am enjoying this"
in real i dont think i have to owe my parentts anything, but i have too much empathy on them coz how they were traumatized and how they stuck in some societal way of living and how they are immature and innocent, but they are also extremely toxic,
all i want to do is stay away from india and settle somewhere else and be financially stable and give them money. but i dont like the culture or religious beliefs they hold, but im still mentally controlled by them. i think i cant really do things i like and want without getting out of this emotional connection. im afraid out of the thought not wanting to hurt my parents ill end up following my culture and religion and live life how my parents want me to live (like get arranged marriage at 25, have kids and be a house wife to some toxic husband who wants me to just raise kids and wash dishes )
i also think that i dont deserve love? thats what my mind says, coz my mom constantly repeatts it. i have come to a mindset that i should never marry an indian coz all my cousin's husbands are so toxic. i dont even know if i wanna marry anyone, but to think of it , its scary and i cant and dont want to live like them, for all these i have to get out of my country or ateast my city and be financially stable , which will happen in 2-3 years, but i am not having confidence at all,
ALL I WANNA KNOW IS, HOW CAN I LIVE THE LIFE I WANT WHEN MY PARENTS WILL GET HEART ATTACK IF THEY KNOW I LIVE THE LIFE I WANT. like for example i cant date anyone lol, so if someday i wanna date somoene i will have this thought of "my parents willl cry and be hurt if they know i have dated someone"
i mean they have their reasons to think so , but idk i feel affected by it and it doesnt let me to do what i wanna do fully