How do i unblock someones number on verizon

The Official Unofficial Hub For All Verizon Discussion

2009.10.27 03:59 adyum The Official Unofficial Hub For All Verizon Discussion

Welcome to /Verizon! A unofficial community to discuss and ask questions about anything and everything Verizon, be it Wireless, FiOS, DSL, Landline, etc.
[link]


2011.01.01 18:54 52 Book Challenge

A subreddit for the participants of the 52 Book Challenge (one book per week for a year) to discuss their progress and discoveries.
[link]


2012.06.17 20:13 Algorithmic Trading

A place for redditors to discuss quantitative trading, statistical methods, econometrics, programming, implementation, automated strategies, and bounce ideas off each other for constructive criticism. Feel free to submit papers/links of things you find interesting.
[link]


2024.05.19 14:20 Crazy-Concern8080 Hearts and Minds 4: When All is Said - (Part 4)

Whatever you do, never drink to cure a mental issue.
First
Previous
You know the drill: credit to SpacePaladin15 for the universe.
Thank you JulianSkies for proofreading.
Memory Transcription Subject: Gillab, Gojid Citizen, Father
Date [Standardized Human Time]: March 28, 2142
I made sure to wake up as early as possible so I could do what I needed to do before Billy woke up. First things first, get rid of all the liquor in that fridge. If Billy was going to get better, the first thing he needed to do was stop drinking. He was only running from his problems and as long as he had that out he was going to take it.
I pulled a trash bag in front of the fridge, propped it open as best I could, and started stuffing it full of bottles. Cheap Venlilian liquor was being poured down the drain by the second, it almost made me feel bad for anything living in the sewers. This stuff had enough alcohol in it to kill someone, a rat would be dead in seconds.
By the time I poured the last bottle down the drain, I had probably sanitized the entirety of the New York sewer system. I hoisted the bag onto my back, making sure not to break the bag with my quills, and started to make my way to the dumpster. Thankfully Billy’s apartment was on the first floor so the journey wasn’t too long.
I tossed the bag into the dumpster carelessly, causing a few of the bottles to break when they hit the others that had been thrown in yesterday. It was only the second day, but I felt like we had already made some progress. I was able to make him admit he was just scared of feeling the pain of his memories, even if it was only accidental. Small steps were still steps, now all I had to do was make him realize that he didn’t deserve this. I have a feeling that once he jumps that hurdle, everything should come much easier.
A familiar song brought me out of my thoughts, drawing my attention to my phone. I had changed the ringtone to the first Human song I had ever heard, T-Shirt, to always remind me of my time on the Cradle. I pulled out my phone and accepted the call, smiling as I saw just who it was.
“High sweety, having a good morning?”
The camera shook up and down in sync with my daughter's face. “Yeah, but I wish you were here.”
“Oh sweety, I know you do, but I have some important work to do and I can’t come home. Just know that I will always love you. Now you have a good day at school, you hear?”
“Mmhm, I will. Here’s mommy.”
The camera shook again as it passed from my daughter’s claws to my wife’s. In the background, I could hear the chitter of my daughter’s voice and then rapid footsteps away. When the camera stopped shaking, I was met by the most beautiful woman in existence.
“Hello, Sweet-fruit.”
Kirala smiled and tilted her head. “Hello, my big guolo tree. I missed you this morning.”
“I missed you too. I had to sleep on an uncomfortable couch and I think it messed up my back a bit.”
“Oh, how the mighty veteran is felled! Surviving a plasma wound to the chest but felled by the mightier couch.”
I flicked an ear in amusement. “To be fair, it was one vicious couch.”
I couldn’t help but melt at her laugh, it was like sunshine during the darkest night. It was light and cheerful and genuine, and I couldn’t imagine myself living without it.
With a final few chuckles, Kirala pulled herself together enough to respond. “Well, it sounds like you need to wear some armor to bed then.”
I feigned a thoughtful expression. “Maybe I will, I already sleep with clothes on.”
She threw her head back in disgust. “Ugh, I still don’t know how you do that. I still feel a little uncomfortable when I wear them when I’m awake, I couldn’t imagine sleeping with them.”
“It’s an acquired taste, you’ll come around.”
“Mmhm, I’m suuure.”
I sighed. “How’s Julaly doing?”
“Well, she misses you, obviously, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. She was good yesterday, but we both wished you had given us a little more of a warning. I didn’t expect your little trip to the memorial to turn into an impromptu therapy session.”
“Sweet-fruit, you know I wish I could have too. It was sprung on me just as much as you. I’m just glad I found him when I did, do you know what I found in his room? A suicide note.”
Kirala gasped slightly. “Oh dear I… I really-”
“It’s fine. I didn’t know either. But just think, if I had come back for just one day, he would be dead. I made the right call here, even if I was torn at the time.”
“You need to get back to him then.”
“I’ve got a little longer. He’s still asleep. I was throwing away some alcohol when you called me, and when I get some free time I’m going to go to the nearby bars and tell them not to serve him. Today I’m thinking I’ll try and get him to go to a veterans’ meeting so he can connect with some others like him, let him know he’s not alone and it’s not just me who cares about him.”
“Still, you should go back to him. And stay safe. He sounds unstable, just keep an eye on him.”
“Sweet-fruit, he’s not dangerous.”
“You don’t know what’s going on in his head. Promise me you will stay safe.”
“I promise.”
“Like you mean it.”
“I promise with all of my heart that I will stay safe.”
“Good, now get back to it. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
The call blinked out and left me staring at my home screen. It was true that I missed them both dearly, even a day without them left me longing, but I knew what I was doing was right. Billy needed someone to save him, and I was the only one available. Kirala was right, I needed to get back to it. I couldn’t leave Billy alone for too long, it would only end in disaster.
As soon as the door clicked open, Billy descended upon me. “Gillab, what did you do?! Where’s the liquor?!”
I stepped past him and made my way to the living room. “I threw it all away. You were poisoning yourself and I needed to put an end to it.”
Billy was stunned for a moment. “You fucking- GILLAB! Get the FUCK out of my house!”
“I’m not going anywhere! Not until you heal!”
Billy looked back and forth, raising his arms in frustration. “What the FUCK does that even mean?! You keep spouting this fucking ‘healing’ word like it’s some catch-all miracle wonder word that means everything!”
“I mean, you need to come to terms with what you’ve done, accept them, and move on! Otherwise, you are just going to rot in this room for all eternity. You are so much better than this, and you know it. You are strong enough to carry on, and you know this. You know, deep down, that you don’t deserve this life. But you are stuck thinking that you do! I saw you at the memorial and I literally didn’t recognize you, remember? That is how much you have changed, but it doesn’t have to stay like this. You can end the pain, and not in that way, all you have to do is trust me. And not just say that you do.”
I paused for a moment to catch my breath. “You said that you would go through the motions for me, right? This is just another motion. The next one is to find other veterans who are or have been through what you have and talk to them. They will make you realize that you aren’t trash or a parasite or any of that! It’s just another motion, right?”
Billy growled and stormed towards me. “You are on thin fucking ice right now.”
“Good. It means you care. Now sit down, we are going to set up a meeting with a group of veterans.”
“I don’t want to go meet some fucking soldier. I’m fine without that.”
“It’s just the motions, right? Humor me.”
With a deep sigh, Billy sat in the chair across from me. That was all I needed to see to confirm it, Billy really did want help, he just couldn’t even admit it to himself.
“You still haven’t given me your promised speech from yesterday. The hour-long one about how much I don’t deserve what I’m doing to myself.”
“Oh trust me, it’s coming. But right now we are going to set up a date for you to meet a veterans’ group. After that, let’s clean up a little more, get some food, maybe go for a walk in a park, then you’ll get the speech. Okay?”
Billy rolled his eyes and waited for me to pull up a website. After a bit of scrolling, I found a phone number I could call to find a meeting time. I prepared everything and set the phone on the table, but didn’t call yet.
“Okay Billy, I’m leaving this up to you. All you have to do is say your name and ask for a time you can come to the meeting.”
“Why can’t you set it up for me?”
“That’s not how it works. You need to be the one that calls them, not me. Plus, I don’t think they would accept me signing you up. The person coming has to be the one to set it up. Are you ready?”
Billy sighed. “Yeah.”
I called the number, set the phone on a table between Billy and I, and waited. After a few rings, a man began to speak.
“Hello, you have reached Richard’s group therapy for veterans, how can I help you?”
Billy looked up to me for guidance, to which I only motioned for him to speak to the man. “H-hi Richard, m-my name is Billy. I was… wondering if I-I could join your next meeting.”
“Oh course, we are always open for more. You didn’t even need to call, you could have just shown up at the meeting. We accept anyone and everyone at any time. Our next meeting is tomorrow at noon if you are available. If not, the next one is that same day at six-thirty.”
Billy glanced at me twice before giving his answer. “The… six-thirty one sounds good.”
He was pushing it back as much as he could, but at least he would get to it eventually. There was some quiet clacking in the background before the man responded. “Great, I’ve reserved you a seat. I’m happy to have you join us. Is there anything else you need?”
“No, that’s all. See you tomorrow.”
Billy set his phone down and sighed deeply. His face quickly changed from concerned and awkward to angry and annoyed. I could see him prepare to say something, but it ended up dying in his throat. Instead, he stood up suddenly and stomped back to his room, wanting to be left alone.
submitted by Crazy-Concern8080 to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:08 Yurii_S_Kh Monotheism, Part 3: Islam

Monotheism, Part 3: Islam
Islam: Origins
Jibril (Gabriel) appears before Mohammed, drawing
The religion of the Law, which for 15 centuries prepared the chosen people for the coming into the world of the its Savior, the Incarnate Lord Jesus Christ, preceded New Testament religion. According to the Holy Apostle Paul, "the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ" (Gal. 3:24). It was all in all only "a shadow of good things to come" (Heb. 10:1). When the Savior came into the world, Old Testament religion had fulfilled its purpose. Our Lord Jesus Christ revealed to us the mystery of the Heavenly Kingdom and established the New Covenant, which was foretold by the prophet Jeremiah. "Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah: Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which my covenant they brake, although I was an husband unto them, saith the Lord: But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the Lord, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people" (Jer. 31:31-33).
Man was redeemed from original sin and its consequences by the voluntary death on the Cross of Jesus Christ as Savior of the World. He entered into an entirely new period in terms of his relationship with God in comparison with the Old Testament: instead of the law, there was a free condition of sonship and grace. Man received new means for achieving the ideal set for him of moral perfection as a necessary condition for salvation.
Islam, having arisen in Arabia in the seventh century, appeared as the religion of the law six centuries after the God of the chosen people of the religion of the Law fulfilled its purpose.
The difference between the Old Testament religion of the Law and Islam is not only that the latter emerged more than two thousand years after God gave on Mount Sinai the Ten Commandments and other precepts that governed life for the chosen people. The most important difference is that the Law of Moses has a Divine source. The book of Exodus gives a narrative of the majestic Epiphany. "And Moses brought forth the people out of the camp to meet with God; and they stood at the nether part of the mount. And mount Sinai was altogether on a smoke, because the Lord descended upon it in fire: and the smoke thereof ascended as the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mount quaked greatly. And when the voice of the trumpet sounded long, and waxed louder and louder, Moses spake, and God answered him by a voice. And the Lord came down upon mount Sinai, on the top of the mount: and the Lord called Moses up to the top of the mount; and Moses went up" (Exod. 19:17-20).
The founder of Islam, however, did not have a Divine revelation.
How did Islam arise? We read about this in the Hadith “Al-Jamii al-Sahih”. A mysterious being began to visit Mohammed. He slept in a cave on the slope of Mount Hira. On the night of the 24th of the month of Ramadan in year 610 someone appeared to him in human form. This event is considered the beginning of Islam. This story about it is from the Sunnah: “[A]n angel appeared to him and bade him 'READ!' 'I am no reader!' Mohammed replied in great trepidation, whereon the angel shook him violently and again bade him read. This was repeated three times, when the angel uttered the five verses that commence the 96th chapter: 'READ! in the name of thy Lord, who did create—who did create man from congealed blood. READ! for thy Lord is the most generous.’” Mohammed puzzled over whether a demon or angel visited him. He confided his experiences in his wife Khadijah. I will introduce more of the story of Mohammed's biography, generally accepted by Muslims: “She said to the messenger of God, ‘O son of my uncle, are you able to tell me about your visitant, when he comes to you?’ He replied that he could, and she asked him to tell her when he came. So when Gabriel came to him, as he was wont the apostle said to Khadija, ‘This is Gabriel who has just come to me.’ ‘Get up, O son of my uncle,’ she said, ‘and sit by my left thigh.’ The apostle did so, and she said, ‘Can you see him?’ ‘Yes,’ he said. She said, ‘Then turn round and sit on my right thigh.’ He did so, and she said, ‘Can you see him?’ When he said that he could she asked him to move and sit in her lap. When he had done this she again asked if he could see him, and when he said yes, she disclosed her form and cast aside her veil while the apostle was sitting in her lap. Then she said, ‘Can you see him?’ And he replied, ‘No.’ She said, ‘O son of my uncle, rejoice and be of good heart, by God he is an angel and not a satan’” (Ibn Hisham, Biography of the Prophet Muhammad).
It is surprising how easily and, gently speaking, naively this question, which in the spiritual realm is a question of life or death, had been answered with the help of a woman. Before all else, an Angel is a bodiless being, and for his sight there are no actual barriers: one can see through even clothes. Clothes hide nudity only from the eyes of man. Even so, the body of man in and of itself is not something perverse or shameful. It is a creation of God. The lust of man is sinful as well as is carnal desire, but not the body. In paradise the progenitors were naked and were not ashamed (see Gen. 2:25). The nature of an Angel is inviolate. They are alien to passions of man. But if this was a demon, then he could easily resort to trickery. Knowing how they tested him, he especially would be able to take leave of himself, so that they would take him for an Angel.
The attitude of Islam towards the Bible
Islam emerged as something syncretic out of several sources: ancient Arabic cults, Judaism, Christianity, Hanifism (a pre-Islamic monotheistic movement in Arabia) and Mazdaism (an ancient Iranian religion). There is no doubt that the Old Testament holy books and the Gospel had an influence on the formation of Islam. In the Quran many people and events from biblical history are mentioned. However, these stories are presented completely arbitrarily and inaccurately.
According to the Quran, man was created from water. "It is He Who has created man from water: Then has He established relationships of lineage and marriage: for thy Lord has power (over all things)" (25:54). In another surah, it says: "Proclaim! (or read!) in the name of thy Lord and Cherisher, Who created man, out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood" (96:1-2). In another part it speaks about clay, "He created man from sounding clay like unto pottery" (55:14).
In contrast to the Bible, the Quran does not say that man was created in the image and likeness of God. This discrepancy is most profound. With God's image and likeness, man is summoned to commune directly with his Creator. He can become one with the Lord. This is not so in Islam.
The book of Genesis tells the story of how the entire family of the patriarch Noah (in Arabic, Nuh) was saved in the Ark. The Quran speaks about the death of Noah's son: "So the Ark floated with them on the waves (towering) like mountains, and Noah called out to his son, who had separated himself (from the rest): ‘O my son! Embark with us, and be not with the unbelievers!’ The son replied: ‘I will betake myself to some mountain: it will save me from the water.’ Noah said: ‘This day nothing can save, from the command of Allah, any but those on whom He hath mercy!’ And the waves came between them, and the son was among those overwhelmed in the Flood" (11:42-43). Another surah tells it somewhat differently: "(Remember) Noah, when he cried (to Us) aforetime: We listened to his (prayer) and delivered him and his family from great distress" (21:76).
There is no need to provide more examples. In the Quran, things are especially distorted when discussing New Testament events. Here the differences are purely fundamental. The Incarnation, the Crucifixion on Golgotha, and the Resurrection are all denied. Even the event of the Nativity of Christ, known to the whole world, is described very strangely. It is alleged that Maryam retreated to a faraway place and gave birth to a Son under palms (19:23). In this surah, called Maryam, She is called the "sister of Harun," i.e. Aaron. He indeed had a sister named Miriam, but she lived 15 centuries before the Nativity of Christ.
Probably due to so great a number of errors and distortions, many representatives of Islam, in order to escape from this quandary, allege that the modern Holy Scripture of Christians has been distorted (a circumstance known as tahrif). Immediately, the question arises: what evidence do they provide? There is no evidence. Characteristically, the view of Muslims toward the Bible has undergone significant change over the course of several centuries. Early Islamic writers such as al-Tabari and ar-Razi believed that the distortion comes down to tahrif bi'al ma'ni, i.e. the corruption of the meaning without changing the text. However, later authors such as Ibn Hazm and Al-Biruni introduced the idea of tahrif bi’al-lafz, i.e. the corruption of the text itself. At that, both of these positions have been preserved to the present day. Thus, the level of acceptance among Muslims of the Bible depends on one's understanding of tahrif. The very existence of these fundamentally different positions indicates that there is no concrete evidence.
It is impossible to ignore one interesting feature of the attitude that representatives of Islam have toward the Biblical text. In that they do not have their own "undistorted" biblical text, they cite our canonical text as undistorted. However, when they need to support a point, for example, negative examples from the life of Banu Isra'il (the children of Israel) with a reference to parts that do not conform to Islam, they proclaim the text to be distorted.
Muslims allege that the New Testament (Injil), which the Quran refers to positively, is not in fact the current four Gospels. We have already said that they do not provide any evidence. The falsehood of the accusation that Christians distorted the Scriptures stems from the internal inconsistencies of the very Islamic authors who wrote on this theme. According to the Quran, the New Testament was originally a true, sacred text. "And in their footsteps We sent Jesus the son of Mary, confirming the Law that had come before him: We sent him the Gospel: therein was guidance and light, and confirmation of the Law that had come before him: a guidance and an admonition to those who fear Allah" (5:46). In another section: "Say: ‘O People of the Book! ye have no ground to stand upon unless ye stand fast by the Law, the Gospel, and all the revelation that has come to you from your Lord.’ It is the revelation that cometh to thee from thy Lord, that increaseth in most of them their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy" (5:68). This excerpt clearly demonstrates that the Quran itself does not speak of the distorted Scripture, but about "rebellion and blasphemy" related to misunderstanding.
There is one part of the Quran (10:94) which is very problematic for Islamic commentators: "If thou wert in doubt as to what We have revealed unto thee, then ask those who have been reading the Book from before thee: the Truth hath indeed come to thee from thy Lord: so be in no wise of those in doubt." This ayat refers the Muslim "in doubt" to the authority of the biblical Holy Scripture. Abdul-Haqq writes: “The learned doctors of Islam are sadly embarrassed by this verse, referring the prophet as it does to the people of the Book who would solve his doubts” (Abdul-Haqq, A. A. (1980). Sharing Your Faith With A Muslim. Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House Publishers. As cited in Geisler, N.L. (1999). Baker Encyclopedia of Christian Apologetics. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Publishing Group). According to the logic of this verse, the biblical Scripture was undistorted in the 7th century at the time of the Quran's creation. Then one must recognize that the current text is also correct, since we use manuscripts written over several centuries prior to the Quran.
Textual criticism of the New Testament has achieved outstanding breakthroughs in the 20th century. Currently, there are over 2,328 manuscripts and manuscript fragments in Greek, coming to us from the first three centuries of Christianity. The most ancient New Testament manuscript, a part of the Gospel of John 18:31-33, 37-38, is the Rylands Library Papyrus P52, dated 117-138 in the era of the reign of emperor Hadrian. Adolf Deissmann acknowledges the possibility of the emergence of this papyrus even under the reign of Emperor Trajan (98-117). It is preserved in Manchester. Another ancient New Testament manuscript is the Papyrus Bodmer, P75. The 102 surviving pages contain the texts of the Gospels of Luke and John. "The editors, Victor Martin and Rodolphe Kasser, date this copy to between 175 and 225 A.D. It is thus the earliest surviving known copy of the Gospel according to Luke available today and one of the earliest of the Gospel according to John" (Bruce M. Metzger. The Text of the New Testament. p. 58). This precious manuscript is located in Geneva.
Uncial script on parchment: leather codices with uncial script, (in Latin uncia means inch) letters without sharp corners and broken lines. This script is distinguished by its great refinement and precision. Each letter is disconnected. There are 362 uncial manuscripts of the New Testament. The most ancient of these codices (Codex Sinaiticus, Vaticanus, and Alexandrinus) have already been mentioned.
Scholars complemented this impressive collection of ancient New Testament manuscripts with the New Testament text, which consisted of 36,286 excerpts of the Holy Scripture of the New Testament found in the works of the holy fathers and teachers of the Church from the first through fourth centuries. This text is lacking only 11 verses.
Scholars of textual criticism in the 20th century did a tremendous job on the collation of all—several thousands of—New Testament manuscripts and identified all textual discrepancies caused by scribal error. An evaluation and typologization was performed. Precise criteria for determining a correct variant were established. For those familiar with this rigorous scientific work, it is obvious that allegations of the distortion of the current holy text of the New Testament are unfounded. In terms of the number of ancient manuscripts and the brevity of time separating the earliest surviving text from the original, no one work of antiquity can be compared with the New Testament.
Accusations that the Bible's text is distorted are puzzling. How could it actually have been done? How could Christians and Hebrews have come together to do this? Everyone knows the degree of their mutual [doctrinal—Ed.] alienation. And yet both Christians and Jews use one and the same canonical text of the Old Testament. Furthermore, the entire New Testament was preserved in the Chester Beatty Papyri, composed in approximately 250 A.D.
It is inconceivable to accept that under the conditions that existed in Christian society, hundreds of exemplars of the New Testament text were miscopied for the purpose of distortion.
On the Monotheism of Islam
Historians and religious scholars regard the three "Abrahamic" religions, Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, as monotheistic religions. For the researcher, the doctrinal principles that representatives of each of these three religions formulate are sufficient. However, on a theological level, the insufficiency of such a formal approach becomes clear. Monotheism is a necessary but not sufficient condition for true religion. Only a religion that has Divine revelation as a source has the true and spiritually accurate doctrine concerning God. Christianity not only maintains that God is the living, absolute source, "the only true God" (John 17:3; 1 Thes. 1:9; cf. John 5:20), but also teaches thoroughly and in depth of the nature of God as without beginning, without end, and of a perfect Spirit. The chief characteristic of the Divine nature is love. "God is love" (1 John 4:16). These words of the apostle contain the principal idea of the New Testament as the good news of salvation. The ineffable goodness of God created the world. The Lord housed man in paradise. Even after the Fall, God continued to love mankind. The greatness of God's love was revealed when the incarnate God died a most agonizing death for us. Christians know from not only the Holy Scripture, but also through the power of spiritual experience, that God is all-knowing and all-wise. The apostle says: "Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do" (Heb. 4:13).
God knows not only all that has happened, and all that is, but he has also perfect knowledge of the future. The mirror of the supreme Wisdom of God is the universe which He created, astounding man with its extraordinary complexity, beauty, and harmony. God demonstrates his ineffable Wisdom also in the dispensation of our salvation. "O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out" (Rom. 11:33).
True religion is not limited by the demand of worship for the Creator. Its ultimate goal is the spiritual unity of man with God. The Savior speaks about this in a prayer to his Father before his suffering on the cross: "That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us" (John 17:21).
From the aforementioned characteristics of the Divine follows the concept of true, Christian monotheism. There can be only one all-powerful and all-just God.
The concept of God in Islam does not have a source of divine revelation. It developed on the basis of ancient Arabic religion. The word “Allah” was used in the polytheistic pantheon of Arabs to denote “God”: Allah (al - the definite article; ilah - god). Among the pagan Arabs, prior to their adoption of Islam, Allah was the supreme lunar deity, worshipped in north and central Arabia. The father of Muhammed, who was a pagan, was named Abdullah ("Servant of Allah").
In pre-Islamic times, the crescent moon was the symbol of the worship of the moon-god among the Arabs. This is confirmed by archeological evidence. The crescent moon was carried over as the main symbol of Islam.
Arabs of the Syrian desert called the wife of Allah as Al-lāt, and in the south of central Arabia, Al-‘Uzzá. In other areas of Arabia, they, along with Manat, were worshipped as the daughters of Allah. This genetic trail was preserved in the Quran. There is mention of this in the 53rd surah: "Have ye seen Lāt, and ‘Uzzā, and another, the third (goddess), Manāt? What! For you the male sex, and for Him, the female? Behold, such would be indeed a division most unfair!" (53:19-22).
In Islam, Allah is a created religious image by the human consciousness. He does not express the real almighty divine personhood. Consequently, monotheism in Islam is imagined. In a number of places in the Quran, he is endowed with intrinsically human characteristics and traits. Allah says:
  • "Those who reject Our signs, We shall soon cast into the fire: as often as their skins are roasted through, We shall change them for fresh skins, that they may taste the penalty" (4:56);
  • "...There is no help Except from God, the Exalted, the Wise: that He might cut off a fringe of the Unbelievers or expose them to infamy, and they should then be turned back, frustrated of their purpose: (3: 126–127);
  • "The Hypocrites—they think they are over-reaching God, but He will over-reach them" (4:142);
  • "And (the unbelievers) plotted and planned, and God too planned, and the best of planners is God" (3:54);
  • “Many are the Jinns and men we have made for Hell: they have hearts wherewith they understand not, eyes wherewith they see not, and ears wherewith they hear not. They are like cattle,—nay more misguided: for they are heedless (of warning)” (7:179).
What a great difference! Christianity teaches that God "will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth" (1 Tim. 2:4), while Islam maintains that Allah created many people for Gehenna.
The idea of monotheism, (tawhid, from the verb wahhada—to reckon something as one) was formulated in the Quran in several surahs. For example, in the 16th surah, "The Bee": "For We assuredly sent amongst every people an apostle, (with the Command), "serve God, and eschew evil" (16:36). In the terminology of the sharia, anything people worship except for Allah is "taghut". Since Islam does not know of direct revelation, nor the holy Manifestation of God to the world, nor the unification of man with God on the foundation of love, its monotheism is imagined, formalistic and abstract, requiring not that man change himself or his way of life, but only worship and daily prayer.
Hieromonk Job (Gumerov)
submitted by Yurii_S_Kh to SophiaWisdomOfGod [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:06 Terrible_Tale_53 AITA For breaking a friendship group?

I (21 YO M) had to break up a friendship group I had been in since the start of college education because one of them was being toxic.
Just 3 weeks ago friend A started an argument trying to jobsplain to me how easy my job is that she has never done. I work in a very demanding contact centre work taking call after call after call non stop. She claims all I do is "sit on your a*s all day". I ended up leaving the call I was in with her.
A week later she is asking me what I was doing in work and I simply responded with "working through emails". She said "nice for some" ( when she says that she's complaining).
I said to her why is she complaining she isn't even working. Without hesitation she trys to jobsplain again to me how "easy" my job is. I proved her point numerous times. I vented to some of my work colleagues who were not happy with her comments and even my manager was not pleased.
My manager suggested giving friend A a job application if anything opened in the company. So I did. Friend A immediately turned it down and said "no I like my job" (the very same job that gives her no hours). I told her there was no harm in having a second job and that she doesn't do anything anyway.
After proving my point a number of times she still tries to enforce the fact that I am wrong. When she could not win her own argument she started she decided to drag friend B and C and turn them against me with friend B cussing me out.
I said to friend B and C they should not be part of this argument and would be best they stay out of it. After a whole day I ended up muting all of the group. They kept trying to talk to me to resolve this issue. I said to friend B that I had nothing against him and Friend C but I just needed some space to burn off all this anger.
Fast forward a week later and I speak to friend A again to patch things up. I said we could patch things up if she did not bring this up again. She did not answer that question and just asked me why I was talking to her again. After speaking to her for about an hour she insisted that I apologise to her because she started the argument.
I left her on silent for 3 days after she kept telling me she was paranoid someone was going to m***r her because she stupidly went on the dark web (this had been a conversation every day for the past couple months). I told her she needed to get help and speak to a therapist and didn't even bother listening to what I said and kept going on everyday.
I got fed up of her shenanigans and emailed her to say that we were done because I could no longer handle her pointing and blaming me for everything that happens, chatting s**t about me behind my back and turning people against me when she can't win her own argument. She said I was childish as she would predictably say. I had enough of her pushing me around like this and it had been the last straw
Am I the asshole?
submitted by Terrible_Tale_53 to AmIActuallyTheAsshole [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:05 Mammoth_Register927 He broke up with me 4 years ago, rightfully so. Now it's 4 years later, he lives together with his new girlfriend, and I haven't met anyone that comes close to how good he was. I've bettered myself in every way, and now I'm grieving that he will never get to see the new me

The title pretty much says it all. I met him when I was 19 and I wasn't ready for a relationship, like he was (he was 24). I acted distant and cold throughout the whole relationship to keep him at a safe distance. Ofcourse I had moments where I wasn't cold, but he definitely gave more energy to the relationship from the beginning until the end. I couldn't let myself be vulnerable. Eventually, things escalated, and I impulsively broke up with him. We "made up" and a few days later he broke up with me. He said he was very in love with me but he couldn't be in a relationship that was warfare from the beginning (when you should still be in the honeymoon phase) and he didn't think I was ready (I wasn't).
After we broke up, he messaged me a few weeks later to ask me how I was doing. I was very childish and told him I was going on a date with a potential fwb (I was, but I was definitely telling him hoping that he would react). Then he basically said I could come over to his place aswell, which I interpreted as him wanting to be friends with benefits. I felt very hurt because I was still very much in love with him, and I felt like he was already over me if he was comfortable with the idea of casual sex. It ended in a fight, and eventually he blocked me.
I was blocked for a year. I didn't contact him and he didn't contact me. Eventually, I sent him a letter because I felt bad about how I handled everything. In the letter I said I didn't expect anything back, and that I hoped he found someone that could give him the love he deserved, I just wanted to get it off my chest. He unblocked me, and I noticed from his profile picture that he was dating someone else. He also changed his whole look, tattoo's and all. He said he respected the fact that I sent a letter and that he didn't hold any grudges towards me. We left it at that and never talked again.
That is now 3 years ago. Since then, I've changed a lot as a person. I took a deep look inside, got into therapy, fixed the relationship with my parents, surrounded myself with good people and got a more active social life (back then, I never really left the house lol). My ex always loved to party and he would wish that I was a bit more into that aswell - well, now I am. I became healthier, mentally and physically. I got rid of my acne. I'm weightlifting and doing yoga every day. I got into my masters degree and I'm getting very good grades. I'm getting much more attention from men than I did back then, I like to believe I've had quite a good glowup.
I guess I've been happier than I've ever been, but recently I've been hit by a big wave of sadness. He's still together with the girl from the picture, even living together. Meanwhile, I'm struggling to find someone as good as him. No one I've met so far comes close, and I can say I have tried to put myself out there. I can 100% say I'm ready for the real thing now, but he's not available anymore and it hurts. It hurts that I put so much effort into bettering myself, and he will never get to see how far i've come. It hurts that he is realistically very hard to replace, and I got replaced after a few months.
submitted by Mammoth_Register927 to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:04 PossiblyLazy AITAH for being questionable about my friend's mental state?

I won't say my age but I will say that I am female and I have a couple of best friends. I have 2 really close friends that I have known for a bit but I didn't know them beforehand. During COVID, one of my friends very suddenly developed anxiety even though they have never been diagnosed. They would cry over tests and results and say that they were insecure and as friends, we would try to talk them out of it. They refused to listen and blamed it on their anxiety. They would say that they got no sleep because of anxiety and say that they would bump their leg up and down because of anxiety (even though they rarely ever do) and all of this they would say to us happily with a smile on their face. I know I'm not a psychologist but they kept trying to align themselves with symptoms that me and my other best friend didn't think they had. On top of that, when they cried over tests, they would refuse to look at their score and sometimes even held up the whole class just because of it. It feels mean to say but I feel like they were doing it for attention. Moreover, they never let us help: we would give them advice and they wouldn't follow it, we would tell them to talk to someone and they would say that their mother wouldn't allow them (even though they can still talk to a teacher in school). All of these small things broke our friendship. It became all about them and during the first couple years I was willing to be supportive but at some point we just got tired. Me and my other best friend attempted to drop them but we ended up talking again properly after around a month then after the summer it was like they had reformed. They never mentioned their anxiety and when they did, they treated it like it was an accomplishment that they were no longer refusing to look at numbers on a sheet of paper. They would slander their parents saying they put too much pressure on them and would make up stories that my other best friend knew weren't true because they have known each other for longer. However, all of my friend group is POC so we all have the same standards or even higher. I'm not trying to demean the person but I feel like they needed a reality check so me and my best friend attempted to drop her again and this is what I wrote.
To _, I've known you since _. Honestly, it was nice at first; that was until you started with your anxious feelings. In no way shape or form did I think that your anxiety was a bad thing; I just felt as though I couldn't deal with it. Every time I couldn't convince you to eat or take your medicine, it would make me feel like a bad person. This didn't necessarily upset me but it made me feel like I wasn't a good friend to you. On many occasions, you would accuse me of yelling at you. I really thought that it was just my natural voice but when you said it out loud, it felt like someone had stabbed me. I'm sorry for any miscommunications that happened and I'm sorry that we couldn't make this work. I even walked out when I knew that I couldn't help you because it would be the best for you and I. I could never be there for you which was frustrating enough because you also never listened to anyone's advice. Even now, as you say that you are beginning to listen to us, it doesn't seem true. You always jump to conclusions about making us feel bad when you are talking about your issues and it is just wrong. You are deciding my emotions, and not to be rude, but you don't get to do that. Your thoughts and feelings have interrupted and took over large parts of my life. Sometimes I'm even unable to revise because of you (not to say that it's your fault for having personal problems). I'm never going to get the hours I spent with you back but I hope that they were spent for a good reason and that they hold meaning in your life as they do in mine. I feel like I am constantly arguing with you over your views about yourself that you and I both know are wrong. You hold high expectations that you know you can't reach so you beat yourself up about your results every time: it really pains me from the bottom of my heart. I truly hoped that you would find the peace and happiness that never seemed to be present when we argued. At first, in _, when we dropped you, I felt awful but I also believed that the worst was over. I thought that when you came back, everything would be fine but I can't deny my own feelings. Your emotions are overbearing and it's overwhelming me to a point where sometimes I get frustrated. To reiterate, you don't upset me and I have no problem with you but I need my space. I need my time. I need my own attention but most importantly, I need my life back. I'm sorry I could never take care of you or help you, despite my efforts. I've had many great memories with you but now is the time to think. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to do my exams because of my thoughts holding me back and that's exactly what happened. I am scared for you, _. I hope you know that I always cared and wanted to help. I hope you know that I will never give up on you and your journey but above all, I hope you know that sometimes things must come to an end. Goodbye, __.
And even after all of that we still were friends again but now they don't mention anything about mental health and I feel like I caused this. Was I wrong to want my life back as a child because I didn't know how to handle them then?
submitted by PossiblyLazy to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:03 Super-Magnificent How do people looking to commit fraud and rob you spoof the CC’s telephone number?

So lately I have been getting these phone calls from people who sound Indian, and they call me on a telephone number that is exactly the same number as the number on the back of my credit card. They tell me they are from my CC company and they try telling me that someone is trying to use my card traveling and purchasing tickets on Alaska Airlines and trying to make charges in Canada (I live in US), and they ask me if it’s me.
Obviously I say no, then they ask me if my card is perhaps lost or stolen and do I have the card to get me to check if I have it. I go get the card and tell them I actually have it. They then ask me what the expiration date and security code is on my card to verify it. When they called they even knew my name.
Of course asking me for security code and expiration date was a huge red flag and I said something was wrong that they were asking me this.
They told me to look at my caller ID and the telephone number on the back of my CC in trying to prove it was my CC company which the phone numbers perfectly matched, but this only further put up a red flag for me that this is how they were validating themselves.
I told them something was wrong and that I would hang up and call the CC company back directly and speak with another agent for validity, because while talking to them I logged onto my card through the app and didn’t see any charges I was unfamiliar with or what they were saying.
They were trying to keep me on the phone instead of wanting me to do that and kept pushing the agenda of checking the phone number on caller ID and my CC. At this point I knew they were scammers, said this, and they hung up immediately when I insisted I was calling the company back directly to validate and called CC directly. Sure enough, there was no fraudulent charges and they were trying to rob me. I cancelled the current card and had CC send me a new one just to be safe.
The problem now is that they call me every night trying to do the same thing and if I don’t answer, they will call over and over trying to make it appear as it’s an urgent call trying to get me to answer. If I do answer, it’s another Indian guy trying to do the same scam pitch all over again. I answered, told them I knew they were trying to rob me and this has been reported already, yet they keep trying every night now any way.
I can’t block the number because if my real CC tries calling me about something the number will be blocked and I can’t do that. But if I don’t block them, then I get a barrage of phone calls every evening until I do answer. I call them a few choice words telling them I know they are trying to rob me and then it stops for the night cause they immediately hang up.
The only thing I can do is cancel my card entirely for good and then block the number. I don’t want to do that though because this is my second biggest credit line, and even though I don’t use the card hardly ever now, I still like to keep it for an emergency need kind of thing.
The CC company already knows about the problem but there is nothing they can do.
Is there anything I can do further?
How do they spoof the CC company so perfectly like that? I have never seen that before.
Don’t understand why the FBI isn’t handling something like that either when they can mask as the CC company so easily and know Americans names and have their CC number. They must be getting away with robbing a lot of folks this way.
submitted by Super-Magnificent to CreditCards [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 14:02 nimpog My non-vegan friend keeps talking about protein when it was never brought up in conversation.

I went shopping with a friend of mine recently just to pick up drinks for a party we’re having soon. He goes to the gym a lot and he just starts with ‘I don’t know how vegan bodybuilders do it - they can’t get enough protein, I’ve been researching it’.
And I’m like. Okay. For context. I am a chunky guy. I’ve been to the gym before and I like it but it’s pricey. But because of my other conditions, protein isn’t a focus for me. Building muscle isn’t my focus, it’s mostly actually getting food that’s the focus.
I jokingly pick up a protein bar and he starts talking about how 15 grams isn’t a good amount of protein and it’s too low.
If this conversation ever comes up again, how do I argue? Because I’m someone who really hates when people live their lives being so focused with numbers on food - I had restrictive eating problems in my teens so it’s really sucky.
submitted by nimpog to vegan [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:37 1_Bastardo_1 Temporary Job Contract (6 months) and Registration at Commune: Advise Needed

Hi everyone,
TL;DR: is it worth to register at the commune for a short term job contract of 6 months? Consider temporary accommodation, process for change in addresses whilst waiting for confirmation of registration, health insurance when having EHIC, mobile number usage.
I'm a EU citizen living in NL and there's a strong possibility in having to move ASAP to Brussels due to a job opportunity. The contract will be of 6 months ad interim and eventually no possibility to continue at the company or wait for a new position to open/vacate for me. My intention is to move permanently to Brussels as I'd like to continue to work in my area, but I don't want to commit to a rental contract of 3 years without knowing how's it going to be in 6 months. I'd like some advise on which choice to make as having the national registry number unblocks all the other stuff that I need to tend to: eID, health insurance; bank account; istme identification, etc
I read a bunch of posts regarding this, and did my Google research.
Considering my 6 month timeline, I'm still not sure regarding:
  1. ~Temporary accommodation~:
    1. Is it enough to put a temporary address in a job contract and to register at the commune? I don't have other possibilities - friend's address, for instance - to do this and I'm not sure if my company will help me with this.
    2. Does the company need a registered address to have it on a job contract?
      1. Can it be from a temporary accommodation address?
    3. Do temporary/serviced apartments, in general, allow you to register?
    4. Would you advise on having temporary accommodation for the duration of the contract or after 2/3 months for a more permanent type? The savings/cost side is significant if comparing both, and I don't have much money available to afford a €1500 apartment for 6 months and eat up 50/60% of my income.
  2. If I ~change addresses~ - let's assume to a different commune - while I'm waiting for the commune registration to be complete - which can take several months according to some posts here and sometimes over my 6 month stay in Brussels -:
    1. Will it stop the process and would it be necessary to start another process in the new commune? I'm also considering the Police check for this.
    2. Also: do I need to register at the exact commune or does it have a central service like BruCity via MyBXL enough for any municipality?
  3. ~Health insurance~: as I have a European Health Insurance Card (EHIC), do I need to register with a mutualité?
    1. Company offers complementary private insurances.
  4. ~Mobile number~: is it worth to have a BE number when I can use my NL one?
Really appreciate your input on this for a more informed decision. Let me know if there are other things to consider based on this scenario.
submitted by 1_Bastardo_1 to brussels [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:35 Fulltimewhisperer Ancient Bullets

You know there are three groups in the immortal world. You have the groupers, the ones that find safety in numbers. That's what the Crooked Crown is, a haven, too many to realistically attack.
Then you have the dangerous neutrals, they get left alone because going near them is a death sentence. Even if you do subdue them you're going to lose a lot of men.
Finally you have the hunters, immortals like me who you don't engage, we engage you. Find the target, pick it off, move on to the next. Simple life, simple rules
Now why do these three groups exist? Well that's your fault, well not your fault exactly, but the fault of mortals. So quick to try and kill anything different...
In the dark ages it was pitchforks and fires, then it became the guillotine and nooses, and now? Now you mortals got greedy and it became the wheel.
Started ghosting us, locking us away in some underground lab, running tests in some desperate to steal what's ours.
So we adapted, became more discreet, deadlier, better at at hunting. In a way mortals only have themselves to blame.
Take me for example, I started out nice and peaceful, then I became a dangerous neutral, and eventually I started hunting.
No women, no children, no one but the target, that's how I started... Then they started using women in their teams when they figured that out, so it became just no children...
Eventually they got better at hiding their higher ups, so I got worse. Anyone became fair game, nothing draws someone out like a funeral. Make the murder messy, pin it on some schmuck who belongs in prison anyway, and wait.
Then you sort of realise everyone is a child in comparison to you once you've lived over a thousand years... Suddenly all your rules are gone, it's just about getting your mark
Now the problem is in order to hunt as I do I have to be discreet. No names, no faces, nothing that would let on who I am.
Now why am I telling you all this? The answer is simple, I sort of miss talking to people. It's been so long everyone just knows me as the wraith... Besides what harm comes from telling someone about to catch a bullet?
submitted by Fulltimewhisperer to WhispersofMadness [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:29 Acrobatic_Soft_3060 How/When to quit new job under a narcissist without hampering your career?

As the title suggests, I am currently working in a new role (coming to one year now) under a senior leader who is pretty much a narcissistic bully towards me. I have over a decade of experience in my current profession and have worked in a number of difficult jobs with challenging people. Survived 6 years in two large firms with a variety of characters. So I am generally calm when someone is being unduly aggressive towards me.
For context, I am a gay man and a first generation migrant. So I am not part of any of the office cliques and people can be harsh to me at times as I might come across as odd and a soft target. That tends not to bother me too much anymore. I mostly do my work on my own and try to be nice and helpful to my colleagues.
As for performance, I was brought in to overhaul a program that was previously run by external consultants. As an in-house resource, I have provided significantly better insights to the senior leadership and driven outcomes at significant cost savings. My expertise is now well regarded by the higher ups.
However, it seems that my boss has been the biggest impediment to my performance at work. He constantly gets angry at tiny things that need to be run by him before reports are released. Initially, he almost always shoots down my idea as not the ‘right way’ to do things. But a few hours/days later, he pretty much accepts exactly what I suggested, but of course this was his own bright idea! Sometimes, he wants projects to be done as quickly as possible, meaning I shouldn’t spend much efforts on due diligence. A few days later he will note that I am not being objective enough and guessing!
He noted that one of the benchmarks of my success would be others in the company asking for my expert opinion. Now that this is starting to happen, I am being told why am I wasting my time on conversations that don’t add value to our team. Every interaction with this person seems like a battle.
I have dealt with mercurial people for short periods of time, but not for the whole year. I feel I should be planning my exit. But is 1 year too soon? My career ambition is to move into senior management and with another few years of experience and mentoring, I should be there. At this point, I am not getting that support. Will a short stint look bad in my CV? I have kept all my previous roles for 2-4 years. Has anyone any experience of navigating this and how you had conversations with future employers/recruiters? Thanks very much!
P.S. I shall not be working with internal HR or anyone else at work on this issue. I just don’t see that going well.
submitted by Acrobatic_Soft_3060 to auscorp [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:26 EzVox03 An Earlier Stage of Climate Skepticism

An Earlier Stage of Climate Skepticism
editorial/climate-alarmism
Climate Alarmism is not a new phenomenon. It’s a tired, desperate, yet sadly accepted phenomenon perpetrated (and believed) by the usual suspects.

"If someone is able to show me that what I think or do is not right, I will happily change, for I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly harmed. It is the person who continues in his self-deception and ignorance who is harmed.” - Marcus Aurelius
I recently had a chance to revisit the blockbuster "documentary" 'Inconvenient Truth' featuring the inventor of the Internet himself, Mr. Al Gore AKA "ManBearPig". Watching it all these years later is actually incredibly breathtaking in all its inaccuracies and doomsday prophesies. It's an embarrassment.
I've tried to write about this for years now but the scope of this debate is so massive it requires so much time and energy I know I’ve yet to truly do it justice; but I’ve been committed to this debate since Inconvenient Truth was still in Movie Theaters, I was disgusted even then. However, if we allow ourselves to open our minds to just question what we're told by so-called "experts" I'm 100% certain that each of you, no matter who you are or what you believe or what your politics, would find yourself at least marginally disconcerted with manmade climate theory methodology and untold numbers of ethical violations.
It's amazing to me how easily the name "global warming" successfully transitioned to "climate change" with absolutely zero public demand for the governments of this world to encourage thoughtful scientific debate and dialogue, and to put a stop to the suppression of scientific dissent and black balling.
We are expected to believe, against all logic and reason, that this earth is warming solely on account of man made carbon emissions. Carbon - one of the most critical elements of life itself. Carbon - what each living being exhales thousands of times each day. Carbon - a natural element which is so powerfully emitted into the earths atmosphere naturally by volcanic eruptions, decomposing plants, animals, and leaves. Carbon, an element which constitutes 38/1000th of 1 percent of atmospheric gases.
We've been told for 15 years now that we're on the verge of destruction because of our own consumption. We're supposed to suspend disbelief and known historical facts demonstrating the earth's climate has always been remarkably unpredictable. Mankind walked this earth before, during, and since the Ice Age which ended only 11,000 some years ago. The earth went through what's still an inexplicable Medieval Warming Period (MWP) just 800 years ago when it was significantly warmer than it is now, even after the ‘.85 Cº’ warming we’ve seen since 1880 which has half the world hyperventilating, seemingly incapable of logic and reason.
Carbon also happens to be the sole variable on which climate researchers placed their focus. What a lucky break that must have been to start the rigorous scientific method required to elevate a simple 'theory' to '97% accepted science' - As a layman, I can personally think of multitudes of potential factors which may have an affect on climate. I find it remarkably convenient that the culprit was decidedly carbon emissions. That it was Carbon and no further research or variables needed to be considered whatsoever. What a lucky break.
Consider how that finding has created industries, elected politicians, elicited funding, propelled careers - and, let's not forget the irreversible damage that finding did to the oil industry, chief antagonist of liberals for decades. The oil industry so loathed by ideologues was dealt its greatest blow. I find that remarkably convenient. Think of our gas prices before "Inconvenient Truth". Think of the blow to the wallets of the entire country and how debilitating to household budgets this has been. Think of the very real blows to our freedom.
I believe we must find alternate sources of energy for one reason and one reason only - fossil fuels are a finite resource. So those of you who went out and bought a truly ridiculous Prius to symbolize commitment to the earth's health have done a great disservice to yourself riding around in that cramped up, ridiculous specimen of a yuppie-mobile. Your only reasonable rationale is the money you save at the pump; if that's the case, I get it. I just personally would choose to shut off my cable to save the money instead of sitting through 4 hours of paperwork and headache to peel out to Starbucks for a latte in my new Prius. It's really a sort of species of #HashtagActivism
I digress.
The U.N.'s International Council on Climate Change (IPCC) consists of what our leaders tell us are the most respected and expert persons on earth. Each year they issue annual findings which are used by governments around the world to make public pleas to the masses so seemingly jubilant to soak in every damned thing they hear without asking any questions. What shall we do? Spend trillions upon trillions of dollars in the name of a scientific theory which has completely broken the sanctity of the pillar of science. Scientific dissent is suppressed. Scientific research is refused for publication or peer review by scientific journals around the world.
Climate Science is now and always has been in bed with politics and that is something I simply cannot tolerate without speaking my mind. Without asking questions. I've been alarmed by this since meeting, by pure happenstance, a scientific researcher from MIT back in 2008. I had already suspicions about Al Gore and the fanaticism surrounding what was called "global warming" at the time; but it was after exchanging emails with this man for several weeks regarding climate research and the information he had shared with me regarding the great number of colleagues at MIT and worldwide who were then and continue to be absolutely shocked and highly troubled by what's happened to science. Skepticism, debate, peer review, publicizing data and methods used to formulate theories was all thrown by the wayside in regards to this ONE singular "scientific" conclusion.
We must remember that climate researchers can ONLY survive through government grants and special interests who fund their research. The research they conduct is most certainly impacted by the inappropriate conjoining of politics & science & money. It’s precisely what we were warned about by President Eisenhower in his Farewell Speech on the hazards of the Military & Industrial complex and the potential hazards of science becoming overly reliant upon government research grants, so independent research has lost objectivity. Eisenhower warned that ‘a government contract becomes virtually a substitute for intellectual curiosity.
The climate science community is largely dominated by a select few individuals, some of whom have dubious ties with Al Gore in particular and have been outed repeatedly for violating federal law regarding FOIA requests. Their incredible disregard for unbiased research or reliable climate data. The data itself has been found unreliable, at best... The data which the great majority of Climate science is entirely based came from highly vulnerable source (which they supposedly 'correct for' in their models; perhaps, but their models yet remain grossly exaggerated and have been year after year for 20 years now).
Even the climate models utilized to project warming have been found to be breathtakingly inaccurate yet none of this information ever reaches the general public. I'm certainly no scientist, I make no claims of my own expertise. I simply desire to encourage others to seek the truth in an effort to my part, however small, at exposing what I and many many others regard as the most criminal, disgusting, calculated deception of our time.
I am going to take the appropriate amount of time and energy necessary to convince those willing to open their minds to other possibilities. Disconcerting possibilities which are sadly very likely to be a fact of this crazy life. This subject pains me to realize that to go against climate theory is considered blasphemy by so many of you. Skeptics are condemned by run-of-the-mill private citizens based not on your own thoughtful conclusions - but the conclusions given to you by others. By the media. By the politician. And so many of us just take it in stride and pass judgement on those who DO care for truth.
I sincerely implore any and all readers not to give up on educating yourselves on this subject of such great significance to our world. To seek truth of your own volition, and to ask questions while keeping an open mind. To look deeply into "ClimateGate", a scandal so monumental at the time I truly believed it would have ended the climate discussion. No. It should have been the beginning.
But climategate, the scandal which exposed the top, most influential figures in climate as fraudulent, lying, deceptive manipulators hell bent on creating climate models that would fit their pre-concluded notions slipped right under the radar. One of the most prominent among them actually debated suicide in the wake of the scandal he rightfully anticipated, but which never materialized.
No thanks to the manipulating, pathologoical lying - either blatant or by omission - mainstream media; who cares not a damn for a single person reading this line.
submitted by EzVox03 to IntellectualElk [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:26 Orange_Menace1 Randyll Tarly - Blackfyre Supporter (my first theory)

Randyll Tarly - Blackfyre Supporter (my first theory)
Note: I started writing this and it got away from me. Rather than fill in the unfinished points, I've just left them there for everyone to consider

Preface

Randyll Tarly on a first read through is a jerk. He tortures Sam, insults Brienne, implements draconian justice and downplays the golden company threat. Prima-Facie, he is a violent commander with little political cunning.
Except for his results. By the end of ADWD
· He receives accolades for every battle fought (I hold fire on the term won)
· He holds the queen in his custody.
· He has a voice at council
· He secured his chosen heir in defiance of westrosi customs
If we assume these things didn’t happen by chance, we can re-examine some of his older achievements, actions, and then try to sort out his motives.

Randyll Tarly as a Commander

Roberts Rebellion

Battle of Ashford

Context: The battle of Ashford was Roberts one defeat in his rebellion. Tarly’s van sailed forward and defeated Roberts host, but the battle was inconclusive. Robert retreated to the stony sept, recovered, regrouped, and when his allies arrived and consolidated forces, used this new army to win the war.

Relevant Sections – directly on point paragraphs:

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion III

Tyrion had to bite his tongue at that. Robb Stark had won more battles in a year than the Lord of Highgarden had in twenty. ~Tyrell's reputation rested on one indecisive victory over Robert Baratheon at Ashford, in a battle largely won by Lord Tarly's van before the main host had even arrived.~

A Storm of Swords - Davos V

"Edric, you ought not boast," Maester Pylos said. "King Robert suffered defeats like any other man. Lord Tyrell bested him at Ashford, and he lost many a tourney tilt as well."

A Storm of Swords - Samwell V

"Your father is an able soldier," King Stannis said. "He defeated my brother once, at Ashford. Mace Tyrell has been pleased to claim the honors for that victory, but Lord Randyll had decided matters before Tyrell ever found the battlefield. He slew Lord Cafferen with that great Valyrian sword of his and sent his head to Aerys." The king rubbed his jaw with a finger. "You are not the sort of son I would expect such a man to have."

A Dance with Dragons - The Griffin Reborn

~He had lost it all at Stoney Sept, in his arrogance.~
~Robert Baratheon had been hiding somewhere in the town, wounded and alone. Jon Connington had known that, and he had also known that Robert's head upon a spear would have put an end to the rebellion, then and there~. He was young and full of pride. How not? King Aerys had named him Hand and given him an army, and he meant to prove himself worthy of that trust, of Rhaegar's love. He would slay the rebel lord himself and carve a place out for himself in all the histories of the Seven Kingdoms.

Other information gleaned from context

· Tarly did not inflict substantial casualties
· Robert won the battle of the trident within a year – Ashford is 282AC and the trident is 283
· Robert fled to and was sheltered in the stony sept, where Jon Connington failed to flush him out. The battle of the bells occurred in 283AC, as did the battle of the trident shortly after

Analysis

Randyll leads the van some distance ahead of the main force, gets into a battle with the rebels, and inflicts minor to moderate casualties before they escape. Tyrell takes the credit.
From a military point of view, if the battle had not been decided before the main force arrived, the war would have likely ended. A much larger force (with assumedly many more horsemen) would have won the battle both more conclusively, and been able to pursue. By all rights, the strategy enforced by Mace Tyrell should have won the war (this theme will come in later in this theory), but for the fact only a fraction of his army engaged far ahead of the main host.
As an aside and jumping ahead a little – Tarly avoids doing this after the blackwater, closing off escape routes and slaughtering everyone. This hints at the fact that Ashford was a tactical mistake.
The first three viewpoints we receive on the battle are of note.
· Tyrion points out the battle was indecisive, and ~decided before the main host arrived~. He focuses on the victory in ‘battle’ as opposed to war.
· Stannis points out how able Randyll is by defeating his brother once at Ashford. Although unable to ascribe any special military strategy to Randyll, he calls him ‘able’ and decided matters before Tyrell arrived. He also flags that Mace Tyrell claimed the honours for the victory and he thinks this undeserved. It’s interesting as it’s Maces host at Ashford, a host that by all rights should have crushed Roberts army in a single battle – given the van alone defeated him. He also ascribes the only kill of note as lord Cafferen
· Maester Pylos points out that Robert lost battles at Ashford and flags it was Tyrell who bested him.
The battle by all appearances, was a farce. Ashford could have ended the war. Arguably, even with the van alone deciding the fight, it very nearly did. Instead, the battle is determined indecisive, there is no ‘impressive kill and capture list’ indicating the host was not captured or killed (as opposed to routed), and Mace has this massive potentially war-ending host not doing much because Robert is in retreat before it arrives.
Furthermore despite all this, Tarly very nearly won the day at Ashford. Robert suffered a serious – but nonfatal wound that seemingly took months (and at least weeks) to recover. The fact that a seriously wounded Robert was able to escape despite distinctive armour and weaponry raises questions of its own.
Finally, when Robert was wounded and hidden in the aftermath whilst he recovered, narratively it allowed JonCon to lay siege to the stony sept. As a parallel, one of the themes I will later touch on is how Tarly changes after this battle, and we know JonCon swears to kill more and become Tywin 2.0. as a direct result of the events at the sept. We see a similar change in Tarly.
It’s also of note that Tarly and Tyrell at this point were on the Targaryen side. This crops up later when we look into other motivations and goals.
Aftermath
So we know that Robert suffers wounds and is somewhat detached from his host (be it they left him in the stoney sept or he scattered off from the main host). We know this as he ends up wounded in the Stoney Sept. After this, the battle of the bells and all the great victories that ended the war occur.
Notably, Tarly has no major military achievements after this battle. Since Mace Tyrell was invested in the siege of Storms end, it can be presumed Tarly was positioned with the main force. The next time we see him is in the battle of 5 kings –

Discussion with Renly – The Siege of Stannis

  • Renly outright ignores Tarly when he says they'll be charging into the sun. In renlys conversation with stannis he points out how overwhelmingly strong his force is and how it will be heavy horse charging into boiled leather. He's not wrong, if the armies clash, stannis will be crushed and waiting is potentially disastrous, as stannis may not engage or slow the whole process down.

Battle of the Blackwater

A Clash of Kings - Sansa VII

They came up the roseroad and along the riverbank, through all the fields Stannis had burned, the ashes puffing up around their boots and turning all their armor grey, but oh! the banners must have been bright, the golden rose and golden lion and all the others, the Marbrand tree and the Rowan~, Tarly's huntsman~ and Redwyne's grapes and Lady Oakheart's leaf. All the westermen, all the power of Highgarden and Casterly Rock! ~Lord Tywin himself had their right wing~ on the north side of the river, with Randyll Tarly commanding the center and ~Mace Tyrell the left,~ but the vanguard won the fight. They plunged through Stannis like a lance through a pumpkin, every man of them howling like some demon in steel. And do you know who led the vanguard? Do you? Do you? Do you?"

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn II

"I told you to hold Riverrun," said Robb. "What part of that command did you fail to comprehend?"
"When you stopped Lord Tywin on the Red Fork," said the Blackfish, "you delayed him just long enough for riders out of Bitterbridge to reach him with word of what was happening to the east. ~Lord Tywin turned his host at once, joined up with Matthis Rowan and Randyll Tarly~ near the headwaters of the Blackwater, and made a forced march to Tumbler's Falls, ~where he found Mace Tyrell and two of his sons waiting with a huge host and a fleet of barges~. They floated down the river, disembarked half a day's ride from the city, and took Stannis in the rear."

We know tywin likes to put his strength on his flanks and in the reserve

Interestingly, Mace is there too, and it’s a tyrell van this time, not tarly
Lord Tywin himself had their right wing on the north side of the river, with Randyll Tarly commanding the center and Mace Tyrell the left, but the vanguard won the fight. They plunged through Stannis like a lance through a pumpkin, every man of them howling like some demon in steel.
ACOK 62: SANSA VII

Analysis

First the parallels. Mace Tyrell is paralleled to Tywin on the two flanks. It is a tyrell in the van who decides the day. Randyll commands the center.
Logistically, the battle is won by Mace Tyrell (whom I love as a character) with a fleet of barges and a huge host already in position (allowing the army to cross quickly enough to intercept the battle of the blackwater). Also the messenger that draws in Tywin’s host comes from Bitterbridge – Tyrell Lands. Given the van wins the battle, there’s a fair argument that Mace could have won the battle alone, albeit with all the support he wins a crushing victory instead.
So Randyll is relegated to an important, but ultimately ancillary position. Whether the battle is won by Tywin or Mace (and by all logistical accounts, it’s Mace), is another question, but the ‘finest soldier in the seven kingdoms’ is once again, somewhat ineffectual. He still commands the center in such a battle, but he displays no logistical or battle prowess in this fight either, just being a renowned commander in the right place at the right time.

Battle of Duskendale

· Lord Randyll defeats a northern army. The army is mostly foot and misplaced
· This time, few excape – XXXX cuts off the retreat.
· Some theories say he was tipped off by Roose Bolton.
· This time he gets the commander
· Figth occurs in FIELDS AND FARMS. Bad terrain for a retreat. Glover TRAPPED against blackwater bay
· Note that Glover had to be captured lest bolton treachery be revealed. Cannot be allowed to send raven.
· Strong implication of a trap and tipoff

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn IV

When they brought him word of the battle at Duskendale, where Lord Randyll Tarly had shattered Robett Glover and Ser Helman Tallhart, he might have been expected to rage.

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VIII

But who would be mad enough to contest Joffrey's rule now, after what had befallen Stannis Baratheon and Robb Stark? There was still fighting in the riverlands, but everywhere the coils were tightening. Ser Gregor Clegane had crossed the Trident and seized the ruby ford, then captured Harrenhal almost effortlessly. Seagard had yielded to Black Walder Frey, ~Lord Randyll Tarly held Maidenpool, Duskendale, and the kingsroad.~

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion III

"No," their father said. "With the war. Varys."
The eunuch smiled a silken smile. "I have such delicious tidings for you all, my lords. Yesterday at dawn our ~brave Lord Randyll caught Robett Glover outside Duskendale and trapped him against the sea. Losses were heavy on both sides, but in the end our loyal men prevailed. Ser Helman Tallhart is reported dead, with a thousand others. Robett Glover leads the survivors back toward Harrenhal in bloody disarray, little dreaming he will find valiant Ser Gregor and his stalwarts athwart his path."~

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion I

"Until Lord Redwyne brings his fleet up, we lack the ships to assail Dragonstone. It makes no matter. Stannis Baratheon's sun set on the Blackwater. ~As for Stark, the boy is still in the west, but a large force of northmen under Helman Tallhart and Robett Glover are descending toward Duskendale. I've sent Lord Tarly to meet them, while Ser Gregor drives up the kingsroad to cut off their retreat.~ Tallhart and Glover will be caught between them, with a third of Stark's strength."

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn IV

When they brought him word of the battle at Duskendale, where ~Lord Randyll Tarly had shattered Robett Glover and Ser Helman Tallhart,~ he might have been expected to rage. Instead he'd stared in dumb disbelief and said, "Duskendale, on the narrow sea? Why would they go to Duskendale?" He'd shook his head, bewildered. "A third of my foot, lost for Duskendale?"
"The ironmen have my castle and now the Lannisters hold my brother," Galbart Glover said, in a voice thick with despair. Robett Glover had survived the battle, but had been captured near the kingsroad not long after.

A Feast for Crows - Brienne II

Lord Randyll Tarly had commanded Joffrey's army, made up of westermen and stormlanders and knights from the Reach. Those men of his who had died here had been carried back inside the walls, to rest in heroes' tombs beneath the septs of Duskendale. The northern dead, far more numerous, were buried in a common grave beside the sea. Above the cairn that marked their resting place, the victors had raised a rough-hewn wooden marker. HERE LIE THE WOLVES was all it said. Brienne stopped beside it and said a silent prayer for them, and for Catelyn Stark and her son Robb and all the men who'd died with them as well.



Analysis

Firstly we start with the obvious comparison. Tarly lets Robert escape when Mace otherwise very nearly won the war. Given another chance, Randyll pins his enemy against the sea and plans to not let a man escape. Having somewhat surrounded the opponent on known land, with reinforcements (Clegane) behind him, he still manages to suffer heavy casualties, and the target (XXXX) escapes.
What a colossal mistake. The only good news is he intercepted enough of the force that it seems no ravens got sent off showing exactly what happened, as if one message got back, the whole red wedding could have been undone.
Now prior posts have analyzed duskendale about allowing paths of retreat, and number of losses, but I think there are three key takeaways
1) The stark contrast between this and his tactics at Ashford
2) The fact that he failed to capture the host and Gregor Clegane had to clean up the mess
3) The fact he suffered heavy losses when by all rights he had every advantage (and still failed to capture the army)
Interestingly, the message that gets to Robb is that Tarly shattered glover. The actual message from Varys is only 1000 were killed, with Tallhart. Now its difficult to say how many foot there were, but it’s not unreasonable to assume that 1000 is less than to around half the force. Clegane captures Glover in the aftermath (thankfully), and Robb gets the report that Tarly shattered the force, when in actuality a good chunk of it was Clegane.
As a sidenote- this is indicative that Clegane actually isn’t a bad commander, and in turn this makes the fact that Edmure Tully threw him back more impressive.
We also don’t hear of any captives other than the ones taken by Clegane. It appears Tarly is putting men to the sword (SEE EARLIER).
Now before we get into conspiracy theories, we see Glover in ADWD conspiring with Madderly to help the starks and Stannis, so it seems this was not some cunning scheme where he secretly got himself captured.
Interestingly, the graves Brienne sees seem to indicate a crushing victory for Tarly, like the one described by Robb. This however is at odds with the report of Varys, and the fact Clegane had to mop up the leftover army. Now there are a few possibilities for this. Varys could be wrong/lying, heavy losses is being thrown around as a relative term (but that seems suspect), or the total of Tarly dead and Clegane’s role is being hidden. The last seems the most likely, Robb hears of a crushing defeat led by Tarly not Clegane (which we know is at least partially false), the dead he kills don’t add up, and there’s no mention of Clegane whom definitely did some of the work.
Also even assuming the whole situation is true and Tarly killed men at a 2/1 ratio, this assumes there are 500 heroes tombs under the septs at Duskendale. Simply put, there may not be that many. The whole aftermath stinks of a coverup. Tarly is getting Cleganes credit (and interestingly, it’s around now that Tywin decides not to give Clegane to oberyn).
Finally we get to the tinfoily bit. Helman garrisoned with Walder Frey to make sure he kept peace. Of the two lords, Helman is arguably more problematic, he knows more of Frey habits (when Tywin is scheming a betrayal) and his nephew is a possible hornwood claimant (cough Roose cough). If there was a conspiracy to kill one and ransom the other – I can see a world where Talhart is the one to be killed. In all reality though, this is a bit too ambitious, and in reality one just died and one escaped – without some super scheme that Tarly was involved in.
So in summary – once again Tarly fails his mission. At best, he bloodies an out of position army whilst taking heavy casualties, with his reinforcements on the way, and half the army breaks free (admittedly into Clegane). This is not a great display of prowess. We also know its possible to capture these men as hostages, as Clegane successfully does so – and Tarly fails to once again. Now it’s not catastrophic as the Northerners are bleeding men and trading troops tit for tat is beneficial, but the battle itself (the thing Randyll is in charge of) is highly unimpressive. The strategic victory goes to Tywin, whom in truth entrusts it as much to Gregor Clegane as to Tarly. As it so happens, Clegane delivers and Tarly doesn’t.


A summary as a commander

Talk about failing upwards
· Charging ahead, he is able to turn a crushing win into an indecisive one which ultimately leads to Roberts Rebellion succeeding
· He gives counsel to Renly about the sun when renly knows that the sheer strength of his cavalry makes the issue moot. Renly all but ignores him.
· He doesn’t appear to do much during the battle of the blackwater
· He manages to mess up essentially an ambush at Duskendale despite reinforcements being on the way
· As a result of the 4 above points, he is given, lands, titles, honors and a position on the small council.
Upon actually reviewing his achievements and each individual battle, I’ve 180’d on Tarly. George RR Martin does a great job building him up, and having everyone describe him as a great commander, but actually unpacking his battles, he looks pretty underwhelming. The most important battle he won was Ashford, but that was a strategic catastrophe which otherwise could have potentially let Mace Tyrell win the war. Afterwards he’s carefully managed, with Renly outright dismissing him, Mace keeping the key positions of command in other people’s hands and Tywin going so far as to dispatch a trusted force behind him in the event he fails again – WHICH HE DOES.


Politicks, Loyalties and Conspiracies

There’s a lot to get through so I’m not going to source everything here. Rather, I’ll list dot points, and we will be collecting everything under theories. In time it may be worth sourcing this all, but for now, I want to get something out – so it’ll be shortform
· Historically house is blackfyre
· Renly Sworn NOT STANNIS
· Joined at bitterbridge to Renly
· Shadowbaby and killing others
· VIEWS ON MAESTERS
· Killing Stannis supporters at bitterbridge
· Saving Brienne
· Helping Brienne / Bewilderment
· Views on Women and Strongmen
· Sam, Maesters, the Marches and Strength
· Maidenpool Rulership
· Renown amonst common men
· Downplaying the Golden Company
· Bravosi Debts
· Taking the QUEEN ahead of Mace Tyrell

Theoreis Stemming off Data

The Blackfyre Theory

Let’s assume that Randyll supported the Blackfyres because his house traditionally were Blackfyre Loyalists. This is a little thin on evidence, but quite a few of his actions also support this, lending some credence to the theory
1) He swore to Renly not Stannis.
a. Stannis was 17 or 18 when he held storms end. He is approximately 13 years older than Renly, making Renly 5 at the time. This means that during Roberts Rebellion, for all relevant purposes, Renly was a non-participant, whilst Stannis actively fought against the dragons. If Randyll is a dragon supporter, his repulsion at joining Stannis is apparent.
b. In fact, he goes as far as to kill stannis supporters at bitterbridge to consolidate the reach forces. This is interesting as it contrasts stannis whom takes pains to not kill the karstarks to a man once he realizes their treason.
2) He downplays the golden company
a. At the end of AFWC, Randyll is downplaying the golden company as much as he can. If we assume he is pro-dragon, this gives time for the blackfyre cause to swell, as he delays Kevan Lannister to the best of his ability
3) He hates the Maesters
a. Between the Grand Maester Conspiracy [LINK], lady Dustin’s general hatred of Maesters and Marwyn’s comments about Maesters and Dragons, it seems credible that dragon supporters may have cause to mistrust Maesters. Indeed, we get hints of this from Doran, and a general mistrust of Maesters by some of the lesser lords.
i. "I would need a bucket, with this pain. Thank you, but no. I want my wits about me. I'll have no more need of you tonight."
b. This explains also why he is so determined Sam will not become a Maester and why he drives him to the nights watch. If he is a loyalist, he’s never going to let a member of his family into an enemy order. If Sam is given any sort of free reign in a role other than lord, he’s going to end up a Maester (indeed even at the nights watch he ends up there, despite his protests and fears of his fathers wroth).
4) Do we actually see any trouble in the marches. I don’t think we do and it’s only STANNIS who fears dorne through the marches, not Tarly or Tyrell. In fact, this area is left undefended when they march on the blackwater.
a. I have a sub-theory that despite complaining a lot, we don’t see any real antagonism between Dorne and the reach throughout the series, just some loud complaining that makes us think of antagonism. Oberyn hints at this to Tyrion.
5) Killing Florents
a. Florents have ties to Stannis
b. Florents are Tyrell rivals
c. Florents instantly defect to stannis. Note they were set aside by dragons over highgarden
d. Their protests were denied by King Aegon I, perhaps because the Florents had fought House Targaryen when the Tyrells did not.
e. https://www.reddit.com/asoiaf/comments/3tr6gx/spoilers_all_house_of_the_week_house_florent/
i. Theories florents Green
6) This is of course also consistent with him racing Ahead of Mace Tyrell’s army and having the Tyrell queen taken into his personal custody. Unfortunately, this bodes badly for our lovely doe-eyed Margery. Oh well.
7) ~If it were up to me, I would send them all to the Night's Watch, and Connington with them. The Wall is where such scum belong."~ He’s setting it up so the only legitimate claimant of JonCon’s lands is in fact, JonCon. Obviously a new lord can be appointed, but this suggested move adds legitimacy to the blackfyre cause, removing the heir apparent and putting JonCon back in his ancestral lands without a real challenger.

1) The ‘show of strength / toxic masculinity theory’
a. This theory has to do with Tarly appearing competent millirarily rather than being competent. He doles harsh justice and havy discipline, which in some ways hides his lackluster results as a commander. I should note this is the weakest of the three theories, but it sort of feeds into the other two.
b. This would be indicative of his hatred for Sam. The moment the ‘veil’ of masculinity and strength is lifted, his actual achievements are lackluster
c. After ashford he appears much more brutal than before. We have no indication he was brutal pre Ashford, and post ashford he’s executing enemies, cornering and murdering northmen to a man (as best he can at least) and doling out harsher justice than his peers
d. Every character who speaks of Tarly speaks of his millirary accolades. I think his ‘larger than life’ persona has played at least a part in this, and Tarly looks the part as the veteran commander.
e. I ought to note this theory doesn’t stop Tarly from playing the game of thrones, it just suggests he isn’t an exceptional tactical commander. Logistically, he has always been with the winning side as a vassal, he’s been able to spin every battle to gain honors and accolades, and he has a knack for being in the right place at the right time (declaring for renly early, being in the van at ashford etc.)
f. All that aside, this theory also doesn’t stop Tarly from being a jerk. Given how he acts to Sam and both towards and around Brienne, we are naturally inclined to mislike him as a harsh leader.
2) Not as dumb as he looks theory
a. He’s taken the queen into his personal Custody. We literally heard from Renly back in book 1 – he who holds the XXXX holds the crown. With all the chaos in the recent books, it’s easy to miss, but this is a huge move in the game of thrones. The Tyrells do not have the queen. Tarly does.
b. As far as I can tell, he’s never been at real risk in a battle since Ashford. He had backup and numbers at duskendale, a massive host at the blackwater, The Siege of Storms End was just a great big preservation of army by Mace whilst Roberts rebellion raged, and the Siege on Stannis was totally lopsided but for magic shadow-baby.
c. Dorne does not seem to have acted against him once nor demanded concessions. [CHECK]. For a lord in the Dornish Marches which have been tumultuous for years, this is somewhat of a big deal. He also seems to be unafraid of moving his forced forward – we have no indication he left levies to protect himself from Dorne, hinting that he wasn’t afraid of Dorne misbehaving (even if only to harry border towns, a bit like Bolton grabbing up the hornwood lands).
d. He sucks up to the bravosi Banker when all the debts are being called in. We have this picture of this strong, just, military man, but the banker scene shows he’s not just a sword arm, and he knows when to suck up. This is important as it shows he is at least considering the wider world and the future outside of the battles, as opposed to a certain dwarf whom never actually meets the bankers.
e. He has turned a bunch of mediocre achievements into being renowned as the greatest soldier in the realm. By all rights, Stannis and Robb are much better commanders (with the caveat that Robb was only good tactically). If we want to get nasty, Mace Tyrell has only won crushing victories – with the exception of ashford (messed up by Tarly) and storms end (where he lost no troops in a rebellion that depleted most of the realm).
i. The most competent appearing thing he said was to not charge into the sun, which was largely irrelevant when plated heavy cavalry is charging into boiled leather. As Renly said to Stannis, his force wouldn’t survive first impact, so this whole sun business is a bit silly.
ii. Arguably the most competent thing was executing all the soldiers considering going over to Stannis, but I’m not sure if this is truly competent or just brutality – Stannis did not do the same with the Karstarks in a similar position.
f. He’s bypassed succession laws. By getting rid of Sam he has set himself up with his chosen heir. Look at the thorny knot Tywin tied himself with Tyrion, whom still arguably is the rightful heir to Castelry Rock (which he made full use of with the Second Suns). We know Maesters can be kicked out of the order (see our favourite necromancer), and can be used to play with succession (Aemon is a good example, albeit he said no) and I don’t really see Sam as a priest.
i. There’s actually a good question as to whether he would have killed Sam. The gods hate kinslayers, and the threat sufficed. If we assume tarly isn’t an idiot, he would have realized the threat likely sufficient.
g. Given how he sets himself up at Maidenpool, its hinted that the Maidenpool land is part of his reward for the blackwater. We never hear of exactly ‘what’ Tarly’s reward is, except in the aftermath he’s patrolling Duskendale (still seemingly with house Rykker),, Maidenpool and the kings road, and seems to be setting himself up in Maidenpool for the long haul. In AFFC, Tarly’s heir is married off to Eleanor Mooton (the seeming heiress to maidenpool) and Tommen pardons Moonton. Maidenpool is a major port in the world of Ice and Fire, which would make it a fine reward[[1]](#_ftn1).
1.

Other key takeaways

BRIENNE THING

A Feast for Crows - Brienne III

Randyll Tarly solved the mystery the day he sent two of his men-at-arms to summon her to his pavilion. His young son Dickon had overheard four knights laughing as they saddled up their horses, and had told his lord father what they said.

… "The gods made men to fight, and women to bear children," said Randyll Tarly. "A woman's war is in the birthing bed."
Someone was coming down the cellar steps. Brienne pushed her wine aside as a ragged, scrawny, sharp-faced man with dirty brown hair stepped into the Goose. He gave the Tyroshi sailors a quick look and Brienne a longer one, then went up to the plank. "Wine," he said, "and none o' your horse piss in it, thank'e."

JUSTICE THING


Battle of the Blackwater – a step Sideways



In short
Randyll Tarly is a shrewd Blackfyre loyalist who now has custody of the queen, a position on the small council and whom is not considered a political threat. He’s not half the commander he’s made out to be, probably has anti-maester sentiment and is possibly friendly with Doran Martell. And he has an army.
This has been quite a ride and I’m sure I got many details wrong so let’s end on a high note. Given all this, I expect Randyll to sacrifice Margery and prove ser pounce’s lineage to the age of conquest. Tommen will blindly stamp a document marrying himself to the cat, the white walkers will be appeased (their problem is only humans), and everyone lives happily ever after except for Danerys who dies.
Maidenpool
https://preview.redd.it/4gfx1jxsbd1d1.png?width=217&format=png&auto=webp&s=a6c648fe2853a80f249aeae5546a21b38b4123e9

submitted by Orange_Menace1 to asoiaf [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:24 baltimore-aureole Urban real estate crisis – is a “doom loop” the same as a death spiral?

Urban real estate crisis – is a “doom loop” the same as a death spiral?
https://preview.redd.it/k8457xokad1d1.png?width=214&format=png&auto=webp&s=307adce84cafc2965bb483d4adcf31d8dd7ee576
Photo above - America's $2 trillion office skyscraper market is imploding. Can Tareq and Christina help transition it to affordable housing?
Suppose someone told you that the big city office vacancy rate was 20%. Would you consider this a crisis? Or would you wait for a government response which said that “vacancy rates are complicated, and not all methods arrive at the same 20% number. Some are as a low as 3.4%” . . . ?
The US vacancy rate actually IS 20% (see link below). And nobody in DC is yet claiming the numbers are bogus. However, the month isn't over yet and those stats were just released on Friday. And this IS an election year.
There aren't many office towers where I live. However, I DO know that about 20% of the stores are vacant at the 2 malls I still visit. I buy about 20% of my stuff on Amazon now. Dishwasher tabs delivered on Friday. I did not have to scour the 3rd class mail adverts from supermarkets to figure out which – if any – store was having a sale this week. I'm gradually moving to an “all Amazon” purchase model. I still buy fresh fruits, frozen foods, and eggs/milk at the grocery store. And heavy stuff like cases of water and soda. But I got a gallon of canola oil from Amazon earlier this month. $2 less than Piggly Wiggly. If Amazon ever gets shoe sizes right, it's doom-ocalypse for mall shoe stores.
Back to office vacancies. I don't blame myself for empty offices, like I do with malls. I'm just fighting inflation when I shop Amazon. I have nothing to do with why millions of people are suddenly working from home. That's entirely on congress. In addition to adding about $7 trillion to the national debt, covid lockdowns proved lots of people can work from their dining rooms and almost impersonate being at the office. The only people NOT allowed to work from home appear to be government employees. Can we see if senators and house members can be kept home? And can we lock them out of Zoom so they pull less stuff on us while WE are working?
How much is 20% of the office marketplace worth? The Columbia University study in the link below doesn't say. So I googled “total US office space” (11 billon square feet) and multiplied it by $200 (2023 cost per square foot of office space transactions). It comes to . . . $2.2 trillion. Which seems high if you're an ordinary wage slave like me. Or low, if you visit any city and gaze up at something like Trump Towers. In any case, those vacancies mean potentially $400 billion in loan defaults. About the same as the 2008 bank bailouts during the real estate crisis. Will we be seeing Tareq and Christina launching a new “flip or flop” show to rehab Trump Towers into something else, after Letitia James seizes it in court?
The Columbia study suggests that vacant office towers in places like Manhattan, Los Angeles, San Francisco should be turned into apartments. After all, we ARE having an affordable housing crisis too. But before we put the pedal to the metal on that, maybe we ought to commission a study on who actually wants to live in an urban high rise, with high taxes, high crime, and high grocery prices. Suppose they're happier living in the 'burbs, and working from their suburban dining rooms, 40 miles from downtown?
I'm just sayin' . . .
~'Vicious cycle': US office vacancy levels hit record high — are we on the precipice of an 'urban doom loop?' (msn.com)~
submitted by baltimore-aureole to economy [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:18 pillowcase-of-eels [Music] Emilie Autumn's Asylum, pt. 6 – High-concept musician responds to online criticism by waging successful attrition war against her own fanbase

🪞
Welcome back to the Asylum write-up, where we explore the decade-long slow-motion car crash that is the Emilie Autumn fandom.
Sorry this installment took so long to upload! Just a heads-up, I may take some time to deliver the last one too – these posts take forever to format on Reddit's finicky-ass editor, and my dumb real life is currently keeping me from precious Internet time. Thank you for your patience! You have my word that everyone who pre-ordered the final installment will receive a PERSONAL, HANDWRITTEN letter autographed and illustrated by me, a list of the snacks I consumed while composing this write-up, some exclusive behind-the-scenes secrets, and a pony.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1Part 4.2 Part 5
Places, everyone This is a test Throw your stones Do your damage Your worst, and your best (...) And if I had a dollar For every time I repented the sin And commit the same crime I'd be sitting on top of the world today (“God Help Me”, 2006🎵)
Quick recap of where we left off. First, there were five to ten halcyon years of pleasant and meaningful interactions between EA and her blossoming fanbase, prominently by way of her official forum. Then, circa 2009-2010, EA's online presence shifted towards sudden anger outbursts, ban-hammering, and an increasingly top-down communication style.
This created a sort of primordial rift within the fanbase, between those who supported EA's right to speak her mind and regulate her own fan spaces however she pleased – and those who thought that her reactions were rude and inappropriate (at best), and that even fan spaces should allow for reasonable, non-abusive criticism of the artist.
Between a poorly-handled book release (see Part 3), the controversial (Part 2) or dubiously true (Part 4) contents of said book, and serious shade from various former collaborators (Part 5), more and more fans had pressing thoughts about EA's work ethic and choices. EA attempted damage control through drastic forum rules that made it virtually impossible to voice any “serious” critical opinion. It didn't work, of course: instead of squashing the mutiny, she created a schism.
Critical fans and active haters started congregating on unofficial platforms.

“WITH MUFFINS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES?”: TROLL LIKE A GIRL

So here we were, the early 2010s. The official forum (which had about 700 members in 2006, if you recall) was now thousands-strong, reaching just over 12,000 registered users in 2012 – not all of them active, but still. In terms of sheer numbers and content creation, the party was POPPIN'... but increasingly in parts of the Asylum that escaped EA's jurisdiction, such as Tumblr, where they could speak their mind freely.
You play the victim very well You've built your self-indulgent hell You wanted someone to understand you Well, be careful what you wish for, because I do (“I Know Where You Sleep”, 2006🎵)
In one wing of Asylum Tumblr, a smattering of call-out blogs emerged, which laid out EA's various lies, faux pas, shitty takes, and general deep-seated terribleness in detailed timelines and screenshots (or, short of that, long-winded bullet points). While many such blogs framed it as “serious” whistleblowing and did their best to remain as fact-based and neutral as they could, there was some genuine disgust, animosity and creepiness towards EA on that side of Tumblr; for some ex-fans, “exposing the truth” was mostly justify obsessive hatred, prying and verbal abuse. Some, for instance, felt the bizarre need to side with EA's mother in their estrangement. (One user, with the URL “emilyautumnfischkopf”, argued in a serious and down-to-earth tone - but with zero sources - that EA's upbringing had been nothing but peaceful and supportive until she ungratefully kicked her loving family to the curb for no reason at all. They were later revealed 🔍 to have an alternate handle as “eaisalyingcunt”.)
Either way, through these blogs, a number of potential drama bombs that had mostly flown under the radar were dredged up from over the years – some of which were hard to ignore, even for supportive fans. Where to begin?
There was that nonsense in-joke song, captured twice on camera during the 2009 tour (to very little outrage, at the time), crassly called “Manatee Retard”📺. Or EA's scathing response, in print, to a wheelchair user who found it insensitive that she used a bedazzled wheelchair as a prop to do sexy acrobatics on stage. (“Your offence taken at my hard-won self-acceptance proves that I indeed have something to fight against”, she wrote). Spoken word tracks where she made trivializing knock-knock jokes about serious mental illnesses she didn't have, like schizophrenia and OCD. Multiple instances of calling Britney Spears a “bimbo” and a “Hollywood fucked-up”, resentfully claiming that she only shaved her head because she was “hopped up on drugs” and certainly not because she was “bipolar”, a word the press liked to wield as an insult anyway. (“That's almost like calling someone a retard!” Yeah, heaven forbid.) The meanest, most distasteful paragraphs in the book. Basically everything problematic EA had ever said or written.📝 In retrospect, it had been a long time coming, but it was a lot to take in – and certainly more off-putting, even to less emotionally invested fans, than silly lies about her age and last name.
In another wing of Asylum Tumblr, some fans had had it up to here and just wanted to have fun. 🎵 If Plague Rats had learned one valuable lesson from EA, it was how to crack a joke in the face of absurd tragedy – and the general state of the EA fandom certainly warranted a few.
In 2012, Fight Like a Girl was released. After six long years, three of which had been peaceful, the Opheliac era was officially over. The new album and ensuing tour confirmed that the Asylum had entered a process of glamorous Broadway-style militarization. 🎵📺
The mood board was “Roman general meets Vegas showgirl meets Victorian street urchin”.🪞 The color palette was, to naysayers, “musty pink and rotten, stale piss yellow”. 🐀 The keyword was “REVENGE” (through the power of... self-expression! sorority! brutal assault with rusty medical implements!). The chorus of the title song had an intriguing run-on line about getting “revenge on the world, or at least 49% of the people in it” 🎵 – which seemed like an awful lot, and was widely interpreted (to cheers, boos, or uncomfortable sighs) as a misandrist jab at literally all men on Earth.
The show was essentially a demo version of the musical, in that the setlist vaguely reflected the order of events in the story – but prior reading was essential in order to get what the hell was going on on stage. This one Broadway reviewer had not perused the literature before seeing the show 🔍, and hated: the set, the choreography, the skits, the plot, the lyrics, the music, the concept. (Seriously, you should read the review. It's not even my show and I feel like quitting show business.)
Pre-show VIP encounters, now violin-free, were lorded over by EA's new manager🐀, whose official title was “Asylum Headmistress”. (Interesting choice – she sounds fun!) The swag bags were less substantial than before, and the “greet” part of the meet-and-greet was rarely more than a quick hug and photo op.
On Twitter, EA continued to embrace her “I am very badass” fronting attitude...
Often wonder if cyberbullies r aware they’re fucking w/ a girl who’s BFs w/ maker of the SAW films & is marrying a knife-throwing scorpion. (🐀📝)
...and her taste for needlessly inflammatory statements. About an aisle sign in a supermarket:
If this does not infuriate you, then you're a fucking potato.
(Again with the confounding crypto-ableism, EA! 🔍) She also went through a phase of raging against Lady Gaga 📝, who had stolen her idea of using a wheelchair on stage as an able-bodied woman. 🔍 That failed to convince anyone that she wasn't the histrionic diva that haters made her out to be.
Spurred on by EA's rallying cries and “us vs them” mentality, loyalists turned the white-knighting up to 11. On Twitter, some Plague Rats got into cat fights with Lady Gaga's Little Monsters (what a time to be alive). Others tried to balance out the Tumblr negativity with initiatives like “Spreading a Plague of Love” – a “positive-only” confession blog, whose extreme fangirling, comically drastic rules and hyper-defensive tone📝 did not debunk the increasingly popular notion that “true Plague Rats” were a bunch of authoritarian and hopelessly brainwashed fanatics.
EA truthers and other anti-fans started lashing out at anyone who dared express any positive opinion of EA, solidifying claims that the backlash against EA was just a conspiracy of bitter, hysterical bullies.
All this to say: every passing day brought new reasons for fans to get mad at EA and each other, and everyone in the Asylum was in need of a laugh. It's not easy having a good time.🦠
Leading up to Fight Like a Girl and in the years that followed, user-submission-based meme blogs took off, most notably “Spreading a Plague of Lulz / Troll Like a Girl”. A lot of the early submissions were absurdist humor and toothless, cheezburger-Impact memes (a style that was, oddly, already dated at the time). Those often originated in good fun, and from loyal fans, on the official forum. But there was also true snark, satirizing EA's questionable ethics, outrageous claims, and easily spoofed artistic gimmicks. A new slang of Asylumspeak emerged: Glittertits (slight NSFW), GAGA!!, EA Gusta and all its memeface variants, Get outta mah house!, Are You Suffering?, Fight Like A Goat, [Random celebrity] copied EA (a subgenre in its own right), ...
Most of the “trolling” was directed at unrepentant bootlickers and, to a lesser extent, red-in-the-face haters and creeps. Meme blogs would post joke comments under “serious” or gushing submissions on Wayward Victorian Confessions, and taunt loyalist accounts by tagging them in their posts. When a few people complained on WVC that almost all of the Bloody Crumpets to date had been thin white able-bodied women, and a few fans responded by sharing their dream-casts for a more diverse line-up, the blog was flooded for days with confessions that “X should be a Crumpet” (candidates included RuPaul, Mitt Romney, Nicki Minaj, EA's therapist, and the WVC admins). Farcical shenanigans like that.
Ah, but some people will always cross the line, won't they. EA threads popped up on merciless, bully-friendly snark platforms like Lolcow, Pretty Ugly Little Liar, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Snarkers with a mean streak and obsessive haters mingled in some of the more aggressive, 4-chan-spirited retaliation against EA – which would be called “brigading” in modern parlance. This included flooding EA's Goodreads page with one-star reviews (see part 4), repeatedly editing her Wikipedia page to include her legal name and birth year, and ensuring that Googling said name would bring up current pictures of her.
All of this compounded agitation fragmented the once-united fandom beyond recognition.🦠 Through substantial disagreements among fans, personal bickerings, layers upon layers of inscrutable in-jokes, and cross-platform telephone games, the Asylum morphed into a booby-trapped Escher room.
Satire blogs were taken in earnest. Earnest fan blogs scanned as satire. Memes would get called out as abuse. Appreciation without attached criticism would get mocked as bootlicking. Obvious jokes made by EA would be taken at face value. One divisive confession could trigger days and days of debate, to the point that WVC eventually banned confessions in response to other confessions. New waves of infighting created a confusing web of rival sub-factions🐀, each accusing the others of being toxic, cliquish, and delusional.
The shared fantasy was broken, the collective vision had crumbled, no onez was speaking the same language anymore. Fans would jump down the throat of other fans who held almost identical views about EA, except for that one thing she said or did that one time. Everyone had differing thoughts on what should or shouldn't acceptable to discuss, question, excuse, make fun of.
War is hell.

SCORCHED EARTH SHENANIGANS: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE ASYLUM

Would you tear my castle down Stone by stone And let the wind run through my windows Till there was nothing left But a battered rose? (“Castle Down”, 2003🎵)
Haters vs sycophants is not really the kind of conflict where one side can come out on top (if you're participating, you've already lost). But in the long tug-of-war between “grassroots” and “EA-sponsored” fan spaces, the ultimate winner is obvious – in that the former is gasping in agony, a shriveled husk of its former glory, while the latter... is non-existent. This is due in no small part to EA's tendency, like the Czars of old, to settle conflicts by setting Moscow on fire.🔍)
That's not entirely fair: unlike EA, the czar only did it that once.
By early 2013, as EA was gearing up for her third Fight Like a Girl tour at the end of the year, the official forum was... not as lively as it once had been. Not just because of the stifling rules and disgruntlement towards EA, or because EA herself hadn't really posted anything on there in years; the Internet was also changing, and forums in general were fast becoming passé.
This made it difficult for EA to create a safe space where she could talk to fans, and fans could talk to and about her, in a way she deemed suitable (ie, a space she could gate-keep and regulate enough to keep it completely free from negative criticism). Social media was a minefield; she still posted regularly, but didn't interact very much. So EA and the Headmistress came up with a way to filter out the unbelievers: an official fan club📝, aptly called the “Asylum Army”, with a $100 entry price.
Joining the AA came with a dog tag, a sew-on patch, and a lifetime membership certificate signed by EA and – for some reason – the Headmistress. (Unlike EA's best friend and sound engineer back in the forum's heyday, I don't think fans ever really embraced the FLAG-era manager as part of the Asylum in-group. She came across more as a coordinator / businessperson / adult chaperone, at best.🐀) So, slightly better goodies than you'd get by joining the other AA 🔍 ... but not by much. The main appeal was that members would have access to exclusive content, special merch, giveaways, early bird tickets for future shows, and regular video chats with EA.
The concept itself drew a fair amount of criticism, as you can imagine. Between the name🐀, the price, and the inherent gatekeeping of a pay-to-join fanclub, many balked at the monetizing of a concept that had once (like, three years back) been significantly more DIY, grassroots, and inclusive. 📝🐀
Then again, many also longed for a positive, drama-free space where fans could just be fans. And while the creation of the AA was generally recognized as a quick cashgrab, a lot of people were surprisingly cool with it. EA was trying to finance her dream musical, after all – although a number of fans wished she had gone about raising funds in a less sketchy way.
So around 400 fans shelled out (which, according to the Headmistress📝, “basically cover[ed] the cost of running the fanclub itself – keeping the database up, website, etc.”). Enough for a close-knit, but sizable community. But already, there was a conflict of interest: a high fanclub entry fee essentially demands that you pledge loyalty to the artist over loyalty to your fellow fans, who wish to join but can't afford to. Sharing, caring, and ensuring no one felt left out were some of the more positive values cultivated in the fandom... but leaking exclusive content would surely piss off other paying members🐀, and make EA feel betrayed all over again. (And she had barely just started to mellow out on social media!)
...But then again, this is the internet. After the first month of secret AA drops (lyric sheets, some photoshoot outtakes – nothing too juicy, really), there were, yes, some leaks. EA was predictably miffed, and retaliated by... ghosting the fanclub for weeks at a time in its first few months of existence (great look!). She eventually found the “solution” to her problem, by providing something you couldn't right-click-save (and which had been part of the promised perks to begin with): live interaction.
Over webcam, she was her usual in-person bubbly, charming, funny self. Everyone seemingly had a good time during the fanclub video chat, and this gave people faith and hope.
There were a few more events, giveaways, etc. As promised, ahead of the fall 2013 tour (the last one to date, it would turn out), AA members got priority access to show tickets and VIP bundles. The latter were much pricier than before, and only included soundcheck, a photo-op, and three goodies: a tin of loose-leaf tea, a signed printer-paper setlist, and a small flag that said “F.L.A.G.”.🔍 Some stuff continued to leak – but, as some of the outlaws pointed out (scroll down to the Disqus comments), they were mostly relaying information that was relevant to the entire fanbase, such as updates about ongoing projects (the dragged-out recording of the audiobook, for one).
In early 2014, lifetime memberships were closed, and replaced with monthly, quarterly and yearly subscription tiers. Bizarrely, you ended up paying $3 more per month if you bought a $99 yearly subscription📝 – but it did include the patch, dog tag, and piece of paper!
Sometimes I kind of want to be part of the cool kids and register to the Asylum Army. Then I remember how it came about, what you could get for the same price a couple years ago, how the whole thing was and is handled, and that I won’t support any of this bullshit. (And then I roll around naked in all the money I’m saving.) (🐀)
Still, a number of fans rejoiced at the affordable monthly option, and joined – if not for the exclusive content and merch (which were... okay, but not much to write home about), then for the friendly, drama-free exchanges with an artist they actually did love, in spite of all the frustration.
For the still-too-poor or still-undecided, there was always the forum! It wasn't as active as it used to be, but a few die-hards still managed to keep the lights on... until, inevitably, Someone Did Something and Ruined Everything. (Once again: EA's wrath is spectacular, but rarely completely unprovoked.) The incident features one notable figure in the Asylum community. Let's call him the Collector.
OK, so maybe you remember the meme I linked to in Part 4, with Christian Grey and the ginormous EA hoard. Well, that's the Collector's collection. The “Violin” promo that I called the "Holy Grail of the fandom" in the same paragraph? Also his. The handwritten lyrics that went for $940? Guess who won that auction. Over the years, the Collector had probably spent five figures on EA merch and shows, and although that fact was a little unsettling, he was a very active, easy-going, and generally well-liked fixture of the fandom.
One day in 2012, shortly after the Headmistress had replaced EA's old Chicago BFF as main forum admin, the Collector's account got banned or restricted over something dumb. When the ban wasn't lifted as quickly as he hoped, he took it... the way one takes things when one is unhealthily invested: he started spamming Headmistress and the mod team with increasingly rambling and abusive emails (lost to time, probably for the best). When that didn't work quickly enough, he tried a different route.
One of the many auctions that the Collector had won, some years prior, was EA's old iPod Touch📝 – which contained all of her favorite tunes and, buried somewhere in the data cache... a phone number. Which the Collector tried calling. And wouldn't you know it: EA picked up. She congratulated him on his sleuthing skills, listened patiently as he made his case, apologized for any distress caused by the unfair account restriction, and then they got married.
Kidding! She freaked the fuck out, hung up, and banned him for life from the forum and all EA shows and events.
After his ban, the Collector allegedly still tried to attend at least one VIP pre-show (one source in the comments says he was allowed to buy some merch, refunded for his ticket, and escorted out). He joined the Reform forum to bitch about EA and try to rally people to his cause, possibly made revenge posts about her on darker snark forums, and continued to hound the Asylum mod team. So in June 2014, EA came up with a radical and unexpected fix to the Collector problem.
The official Asylum Fan Forum has been shut down permanently. I have personally paid thousands of dollars each year to keep the forum safe and secure for you ... Unfortunately, the forum has not been kept safe and secure for me, a truth which disappoints me greatly, instead becoming a place where people who have physically threatened myself and my staff prey upon forum members, pressuring them to contact me and my staff on their behalf. If the gullible wish to humor my stalkers (who live in their parent’s basement at age 30 something) and thus put me in danger, they may do it on their own dime. They may also fuck off, because stupidity can kill, and I won’t be your victim. To those who enjoyed the forum, you know who to thank for its closure. (“On the closing of the Asylum Forum”)
Voilà! This is how a decade-long archive of shared history ends: not with a bang, but with a dirty delete and a sod-off communiqué.
The obliteration of the forum took everyone by surprise...
I was actually on the forum when it was taken down. I was navigating between posts and when I went to click on a different board, an error message came up. I honestly cried a little, I'm not ashamed to say. (WVC admin on Reddit, 2024)
...and I do mean everyone:
Chicago BFF / ex-admin, the next morning: Whoa, EA forum shut down? Ex-mod: It turns out that if someone spends enough years actively “waging war” to destroy what they can’t have, eventually they’ll be successful. * eye roll * Not even mods got prior warning. Just all the sudden, poof, gone. BFF: Really? She did not let the moderators know?! This is sounding worse and worse. Uggh. I’m so sorry. Such a loss. (...) Ok, threats are serious, but why not just put it in archive mode so no one can post? (...) Sad. I shall light a candle in the forum's honor. (Facebook posts; scroll down for screenshots)
It was a gut punch, especially for people who had poured countless hours into the community, or could have used some prior warning to save years of their own writing from the role-playing threads. One last chance to take a look around the place that had meant so much to so many.
From the wording of the announcement of closing the forum and a number of other things, it sometimes seems like EA doesn't like her fans much. :/ (🐀)
Three months after the forum was nuked, Battered Rose (a venerable EA fansite, which had been around since the Enchant era and had one of the most complete EA galleries online) announced that it was shutting down too.📝 The admin, who had also been a long-time forum mod, cited a lack of “time, energy, passion, or money” to keep the website going... and being upset at the sudden disappearance of the forum. It was, truly, the end of an era for the Asylum.
...Well, no point in living in the past. For those who could afford it, and still wanted to talk to/about EA after that (not everyone did 🐀), there was always the Asylum Army fanclub!
Over the summer of 2014, EA held regular live chats and Q&A's, and... many attendees really enjoyed them, and thought the AA was well worth the money after all. She also quietly parted ways with the much poo-pooed Headmistress around that time.
Just spent over 4 hours giggling, drinking tea and playing guessing games in chat with EA and other Asylum Army members ... No griping, no downers, just lots of fun. I think I like the way the ‘new fandom’ is going and now I’m really glad I finally decided to join the Army. (September 4, 2014🐀; Battered Rose had closed the day before)
The forum was lost forever, but perhaps that was a chance for a fresh start. Could this fanclub thing really be the Asylum Renaissance that fans had been longing for?
...I have come today to a very difficult but necessary decision, and that is to discontinue the Emilie Autumn Official Fanclub. The site itself, and the community chatroom, will remain open to you indefinitely, but I will no longer be making updates to the site. (Newsletter, September 8, 2014📝)
...Never mind, then.
Turns out the fanclub had been the Headmistress' idea all along. EA had been reluctant from the start, and although she really enjoyed the live chats with a safe community of people “who are there for the right reasons”, she couldn't overcome her fundamental discomfort with the concept. Lifetime and regular members would receive a bunch of digital downloads and a -35% coupon on the Asylum Emporium for their troubles. EA said she would definitely pop back once in a while for live chats, for free, just for fun, but to my knowledge, she never did.
And so the most devoted fans were left standing in the rain...
She is happy, she made it. She is fulfilling her dreams, found love and happiness after all the pain. I understand that she now doesn’t need “us” anymore ... That doesn’t change the fact she broke my heart with taking the Asylum Army and the forum from me. Yet, I am happy for her. (🐀)
...while naysayers pointed and laughed, Nelson-style.🦠
I don’t feel sorry at all for the people that paid for the Asylum Army fan club. Most of them knew that EA is an atrocious business woman and has broken many promises before. In fact, I laugh at them. They seriously thought that EA would actually stay consistent with this? (🐀)

EVERYTHING MUST GO: THE ASYLUM WHOLESALE

EA fans were left without an “official” home for about three years. This gave them plenty of time to be annoyed at EA for: not releasing the audiobook on time, not materializing any new project for a while... and the new sin of peddling random, ridiculously marked-up AliBaba jewelry as “merch” on her official store. Think faux-antique cameo pendants and $30 Big Ben rings (...because the Asylum story is set in London, get it?).
The whole accessories section looks like a tacky overpriced English souvenir shop. (🐀)
The fanbase lost a lost of steam in those in-between years, because there wasn't much to stick around for. As evidenced by the positive reception of the AA live chats, even in the midst of unresolved drama, out-loud interactions in a friendly environment have always been EA's saving grace. Considering the amount of online hate, there are shockingly few accounts of bad IRL encounters with EA: most people say that in live conversation, she comes across as a fun, warm, and genuinely sweet person. Some report that their negative opinion shifted after meeting her.
But there were no chats or live shows anymore. There was only social media, where she ignored questions and vague-posted about overdue projects – and the newsletter📝, which was all saccharine love-bombing to promote bland dropshipped trinkets. For fans who remembered the handcrafted merch (and two-way communication) of the early years, it was a bitter pill to swallow.

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS


submitted by pillowcase-of-eels to HobbyDrama [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:14 Prize-Badger-8037 Put it all out there that day

So I need to stop rethinking our final conversation the other day. I write this in hopes to stop replaying it in my head over and over and over for hours on end.
Context: We had been seeing eachother casually for months (w the understanding we were only seeing eachother), but ended it a month prior. Tried hanging out as friends and talking.
At the end of the night, i asked my question that i was afraid to ask a month prior. I knew then, I had told LO “I have more things to ask but idk if i want to know the answers.” and at the time i was not ready to hear the answers i knew true in my heart. LO was seeing someone else. what i didn’t realize is when it had started, and how much i had been lied to.
I reacted extremely poorly. I should’ve just walked away like i originally intended, saved myself the energy. But i didn’t, i sat my ass right back down and continued to ask questions. Then the part i am unsure about is that i sat there for two hours trying to understand how LO could lie to me. I went over and over reiterating that the one thing i asked for is honesty. Begging for LO to explain why. I definitely yelled, verbally psycho analyzed them, explained why they were misleading, and made them cry, but honestly I am kinda proud for standing up for myself. the part i regret is admitting the limerence, though clarifying that is obviously no fault to them but my brain.
They have also experienced a LE and still have issues w their LO and having to be NC. I shouldn’t have told LO, but i did and now they realize how sick i am. Luckily as an adult i have been able to keep my more extreme tendencies under control, unlike when i was a teen in an LE. so like not driving past LO house/job, going places i know they’ll be, and i have ceased the cyber stalking. They have a reddit account and i fear they see my posts, but it’s reddit so illl never know and i hope they block me so i never come across them.
In the end I apologized to my LO for the things that i felt i took too far. i was so angry, and they knew it. I told them to never speak about me again, to pretend i don’t exist, and to grow up because their emotional immaturity was the reason they failed to communicate and lied to me.
I have deleted LOs number and removed them off everything in an attempt to ensure that i don’t break NC. I am starting to feel better in the slightest. I want revenge less and less, tho i have considered reaching out to this new person. I do hope she gets a lesson taught to her tho by this new person. && I have to remember i do not want someone who does not want me and would lie to me.
submitted by Prize-Badger-8037 to limerence [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:07 Celestial-Nexus Do I(28m) break NC with my partner(27f)? Really need some insight.

So I am recently coming off of a 10+ year relationship. We had a talk about 2 weeks ago. For the past 2 years the relationship has been causing mental distress on both ends. She is always telling me how unhappy I make her because of my failure to be a good communicator and that I never plan anything for her and shes hurt from the past because she pretty much felt like anytime we went on trips or did things together that I didn't want to be there. She always is consistently bringing up the past no matter what I do.
Now I will say when we would communicate I would get defensive sometimes. Now I would try to plan small things like going to the movies or dinner dates but 9/10 whenever I planned something she usually would be against it and we ended up doing something else. Now I guess the reason for some of my lack of effort in certain aspects was my result of never feeling like I had me time. I'd always put myself last, my job I had at basically the whole relationship before I left was miserable at times, making me stay late, understaffed, always feeling super overworked, as a management employee I went above and beyond at work which I will never do again for another company with poor management above me. I would then come home and spend time with her and try to make up me time at night which would result in me being drained and super tired. I was pretty poor with balance in my life.
Now I have mentally checked out of the relationship probably a couple of months ago and she has to. During our talk I didn't really know what to say because it has been the same talk we always have except she ended up saying she wanted to breakup even though I feel like she didn't want to, now I did try to stay but didn't push the issue because of how miserable I have been. I was putting more effort in but felt like it was useless because she would say to me that she feels like I'm just checking off boxes. Imagine your actually genuinely excited to see someone and they walk around with a stormy cloud on there head after work and say "I feel like you only do these things to check off a box". I can't describe the feeling I get when I'm with her other then it's like she just isn't happy with me and miserable. It's like I can just feel it in the air and over time it's been beating me up mentally.
I also feel like I shouldn't have to sit there and explain what type of man I am and what I have done for her like it's a job interview. I know my worth and all I want is peace. All I hear when we talk is me, me, me, me, me. But I want to talk about how I feel, she brings up the past, and trys to validate the way she feels and her actions and I'm supposed to just take it.
Imagine living with someone who is always just unhappy with you and miserable which in turn makes you miserable as well. She ended up texting me that she loves me and misses me and asked why I didnt fight for the relationship and accepted it. She says shes done chasing me and said I need to man up and try to fix the relationship and she wants to feel like a prize. Now I texted her "go be someone's prize then" and blocked her, before hand she mentioned meeting up as texts can me misconstrued but it's going to be the same thing. I love her deeply but it's hard to fight for someone who makes you feel like they won't have your back. It's also like I'm trying to somewhat do her a favor by letting go which also has been ripping me to pieces. I was thinking of unblocking her and reaching out but now it's kind of awkward as I sent that message and don't know how to go about it. It's been 5 days since I blocked her. I feel bad because I know she's probably hurting and very upset. It's almost like I feel pushed out the door but drawn in, like she has 1 foot in 1 foot out type of thing. Just feels very confusing and the situation is hard. The time away with NC has allowed to somewhat get my thoughts and feelings more organized. Idk what to do.
submitted by Celestial-Nexus to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:06 anxietybee- I have actually beat myself up at this point and I don't know how to end the friendship

A few days ago we fought from 1:30a till about 8am. We have lengthy arguments like this all the time. We used to date, and it played a key role in the end of our relationship along with us having different values in general. I made it clear before we started dating I can't handle much fighting, particularly yelling, because of aspects of my childhood.
✨️ TLDR AHEAD
Two fights happened on my two birthdays- or before other important things like it's the night before a road trip or I'm ON the road trip. They happen when I want to go to bed or I'm about to run an errand. He monologs for literal hours at a time, and I can't speak up when he speaks incorrectly on my part because then I'm interrupting him and that causes more issues than me being misunderstood or remembered incorrectly.
In our relationship they were often caused by me not wanting him to pay my for my phone/phone bill before we'd been dating for even 3 months, though they were also caused by me being late to coming over and stuff like that as well. Sometimes I'd accidentally fall asleep after work instead of coming over, if I lay down after a shower, which I did a few times as I worked very early in the morning, and it made him feel like I didn't value his time.
I didn't talk to him for a few months after we broke up, even though he tried to contact me to apologize several times by texting/phonecalls/visiting several times at my apartment. Eventually someone knocked on my door and I opened it before I realized it was him. I didn't want to turn him away so we talked and he very sincerely apologized and talked about how he'd been going to therapy. I could recognize a great deal of change in him and we caught up on eachothers lives.
I moved to a different state like a week after we got in contact and i am struggling with this long distance friendship. He wants to talk all the time and I.. don't. I enjoy texting but sometimes I want to watch a show or play a game uninterrupted, but if I don't respond enough he feels ignored. He also likes to talk on the phone all the time and I really really don't enjoy talking on the phone at all, especially for hours at a time. We talked every night for a couple weeks in the beginning. But after a bad fight i reminded him I don't like being on the phone and said I wanted some space, which had been on my mind prior to the argument. The next week we talk on the phone for like 3 nights for a few hours, and maybe a few other little calls here and there, but he says it's not enough
But the thing is.. even when we talked for hours every night and texted pretty often it still wasn't enough. The only time it was enough was a short window when I checked my phone pretty obsessively to make sure I didn't miss a message from him and always stopped what I was doing to take his call
If my snap score goes up when we're not talking he asks me about it. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable explaining to him the other people I talk to in the day. And often I'm not even talking to them when I'm not talking to him- they send me snaps when I'm not on my phone. I don't respond to anyone unless I make sure I respond to him first to avoid this exact issue. I feel anxious when my friends snap me because I know my score will go up and he's going to ask me about it
For the most part, our fights presently revolve around him feeling like I don't care enough about our friendship or he's feeling ignored by me. But I really really don't know what to do anymore. I was talking on the phone for hours at a time, I was texting all the time and keeping my responses as long as possible.. I was planning movie days, etc. It was never enough.
He's upset my responses are getting shorter. And to be honest they have. Often times I talk about my life, especially someone else in my life, it triggers a fight. Not always in the moment but it always comes back to bite me in the butt later. Particularly if I'm hanging out with my roommate, because in my friends eyes he and I get to hang out with all time. Which we kind of don't- my time is far more devoted to my friend than my roomate. But even if it wasn't- I like hanging out with my roomate because we can quietly sit in the same room together, and we don't have any conflict. He is a very kind presence and I'm grateful to have him as a friend.
It's hard talking about your life while also revealing the bare minimum about your life, and so I'm responding kind of shortly about my things and just try to focus on him.
The fight we had a few days ago was about us not talking enough. Sort of. The reasons our fights go on for hours is because I don't know how to respond to him when he brings up an issue. I sincerely try my best and I try it all. When he brings something up I explain to him I understand his concerns, both using his exact words and in my own words I explain why he's upset. If I agree with him I will apologize and tell him how I'm going to fix it and I fix it, after we fight for a few hours ofc, because he doesn't believe I can understand/apologize and fix something so early into a conversation.
Other times he keeps pushing me to explain myself, but if I explain my pov, things really really blow up because I don't always agree with him. And I think he confuses me not agreeing with him to not understanding. One of our fights came because he was upset when I got home with my roommate at 1am, when I had a 3 hour drive at 8am the next morning. Which blows my mind, because he fought with me literally all night before I drove across the state. I didn't tell him that though, I said I didn't mind getting home till 1 because I had fun when I was out and will still get plenty of sleep. But we still fought.
✨️TLDR
Anyway... the other day he brought up he feels like we don't talk enough. And I said I understand it's hard but this is the boundary I'm setting because I don't enjoy being on the phone, but we're talking 3/4 days a week for several hours. We fight and he says that even when we do talk I'm not talking enough right now. We fight and I reluctantly told him I just don't feel comfortable opening up right now. We fight and fight and it's turning me into a person I dont know or how to control.
In the beginning of our relationship I was quiet and just agreed to everything he said to avoid the argument. This didnt always work but it tends to. Now I get so overwhelmed and angry after several hours I mute my phone and scream into my pillow. This last call I started hitting myself, which I've never done before, and the next day my cheeks were bumpy and itchy, my forehead was swollen, my scalp hurt to touch, and I'm still getting over my two black eyes. He did NOT cause me to hit myself and he doesn't know. I feel silly for doing it. But I find myself at my breaking point and I don't know how to manage these fights anymore.
After hours and hours I break down and I just start agreeing to whatever he says I'm wrong about because I want it to end. I repeat the very thing I said eight hours ago- what I'm wrong about and how I'm going to fix it, but only now after crying on the phone all night long is sort of enough.
At the end of the call he asked if our friendship was over and I said I don't know. He asks this all the time and I basically beg him to be my friend but I don't want to anymore.
He sent me a long apology the morning after the fight and said he wouldn't do it anymore. I thanked him for not wanting those fights anymore. He sent me a pic of his dog and I said she was cute. That night I let our streak die. He messaged me this morning "you let our streak die" and I sat at my phone for ten minutes thinking of how to respond and eventually I just decided not to. He called me twice tonight at around 8pm and texted that he wanted us to talk for a bit, but i had made plans with another friend of mine a week ago to play animal crossing, so I did that and didn't respond to him. At 3am I saw he was typing on snapchat and I'm anxious because I've been receiving snaps and know my score went up, even though I have sent zero snaps to keep the number as low as I can
I know he wants to be friends still
But I sort of don't want to be friends anymore???? I really love the positive things in our relationship. In a lot of ways he was the best boyfriend and best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this anymore. I hate the person I am in these fights. I know he does not control my actions, it is not his fault I scream in my pillow or gave myself black eyes. But I have never in my life had any sort of romantic or friendly relationship like this. And I don't enjoy it. I really really love not fighting with my loved ones. And I really feel like no matter what I do to make him feel heard when he brings up an issue it's not enough. Every fight we have damages our friendship, which I've told him several times. I used to get over them easily but I am just so drained I always feel wary for the next blow up.
But I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning our friendship? I don't know how to end a friendship? I've never had one end that wasn't a result of just growing apart. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I never opened my door when he came over. I'm supposed to go to my home state shortly and I'm very anxious about being in the same state as him
submitted by anxietybee- to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:01 Celestial-Nexus Just looking for some insight into my situation

So I am recently coming off of a 10+ year relationship. We had a talk about 2 weeks ago. For the past 2 years the relationship has been causing mental distress on both ends. She is always telling me how unhappy I make her because of my failure to be a good communicator and that I never plan anything for her and shes hurt from the past because she pretty much felt like anytime we went on trips or did things together that I didn't want to be there. She always is consistently bringing up the past no matter what I do.
Now I will say when we would communicate I would get defensive sometimes. Now I would try to plan small things like going to the movies or dinner dates but 9/10 whenever I planned something she usually would be against it and we ended up doing something else. Now I guess the reason for some of my lack of effort in certain aspects was my result of never feeling like I had me time. I'd always put myself last, my job I had at basically the whole relationship before I left was miserable at times, making me stay late, understaffed, always feeling super overworked, as a management employee I went above and beyond at work which I will never do again for another company with poor management above me. I would then come home and spend time with her and try to make up me time at night which would result in me being drained and super tired. I was pretty poor with balance in my life.
Now I have mentally checked out of the relationship probably a couple of months ago and she has to. During our talk I didn't really know what to say because it has been the same talk we always have except she ended up saying she wanted to breakup even though I feel like she didn't want to, now I did try to stay but didn't push the issue because of how miserable I have been. I was putting more effort in but felt like it was useless because she would say to me that she feels like I'm just checking off boxes. Imagine your actually genuinely excited to see someone and they walk around with a stormy cloud on there head after work and say "I feel like you only do these things to check off a box". I can't describe the feeling I get when I'm with her other then it's like she just isn't happy with me and miserable. It's like I can just feel it in the air and over time it's been beating me up mentally.
I also feel like I shouldn't have to sit there and explain what type of man I am and what I have done for her like it's a job interview. I know my worth and all I want is peace. All I hear when we talk is me, me, me, me, me. But I want to talk about how I feel, she brings up the past, and trys to validate the way she feels and her actions and I'm supposed to just take it.
Imagine living with someone who is always just unhappy with you and miserable which in turn makes you miserable as well. She ended up texting me that she loves me and misses me and asked why I didnt fight for the relationship and accepted it. She says shes done chasing me and said I need to man up and try to fix the relationship and she wants to feel like a prize. Now I texted her "go be someone's prize then" and blocked her, before hand she mentioned meeting up as texts can me misconstrued but it's going to be the same thing. I love her deeply but it's hard to fight for someone who makes you feel like they won't have your back. It's also like I'm trying to somewhat do her a favor by letting go which also has been ripping me to pieces. I was thinking of unblocking her and reaching out but now it's kind of awkward as I sent that message and don't know how to go about it. It's been 5 days since I blocked her. I feel bad because I know she's probably hurting and very upset. It's almost like I feel pushed out the door but drawn in, like she has 1 foot in 1 foot out type of thing. Just feels very confusing and the situation is hard. The time away with NC has allowed to somewhat get my thoughts and feelings more organized. Idk what to do.
submitted by Celestial-Nexus to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:00 shangodjango Trying to break “Nice guy syndrome” any PBs have it ?

I spent the majority of my formative years in London.
I know to most of you, you’ll think of London as this paradise with women of every ethnicity who are pretty easy.
But growing here, it weirdly caps your potential.
For one you eventually take on its cold, anti social social customs. Saying good morning to someone is very strange. Interacting with others in public (unless drunk) is almost taboo.
Cold approaching women is almost adjacent to sexual harassment. Social codes are pretty big here.
We even have big red signs on public transport now saying (NO STARING, NO RUBBING, NO HARRASMENT etc). The feminist ideology has taken control here, most guys here don’t cold approach. The only ones who do tend to be ethnic men or outliers in society and funnily enough you’ll see them with the hottest women too. It tends to be because they haven’t fallen victim to the feminist brainwashing.
The women here tend to be pretty cold, overwhelmed with options, distant and difficult. You wouldn’t think it would be like this considering London is one of the loneliest places in the world with the highest number of single people but somehow è that’s the situation.
Women in my community are especially hard, they will shut you down before you’ve even got 2 sentences out, I’ve accepted I’m probably dating outside of my community.
The society here basically beats down men’s confidence and tells them to be nice and don’t bother women and be a gentleman and this and that, but women almost always prefer men who aren’t like this.
The forced politeness and indirect nature means you get used to being nice to get what you want.
But I’ve realised that’s almost disingenuous and women prefer directness in most situations. I think I’ve missed out on so many opportunities because my tactics with women basically ammounted to, if I’m nice enough to a girl and get to know her and then compliment her maybe we can go on a date and eventually smash. Yeah it’s not worked in most cases.
This has left me in a place where I’ve very rarely actually gone out and gone for what I want.
Thinking back, the last 10 or so women I’ve been with, the majority of my girlfriends have been with people I’ve met online, because I’ve subconsciously turned off the switch in my head that says
“hey I’m attracted to this woman, I’m going to approach her and attempt to pursue a connection with her”
I’m 28, turning 29 this year. All this considered that’s pretty late. I’ve realised I’m ALWAYS going to have the sensibilities of a “gentleman” as it’s just how I’ve been socialised to be, but I want to lean more away from being a nice guy.
But I need to step out of my comfort zone and go to a place where: I’m forced to cold approach/ women are more aggressive and flirtatious than women in London/ I can aggressively pursue women as a black man without offending anybody/I have the highest success rate (I’m a bit sensitive to rejection admittedly, I can take it but I find it hard to keep approaching)
Being a PBB could be an excellent way to immerse myself in another countries culture and women and allow myself to grow out of this shell a bit.
I’d be interested to hear from anyone in a similar situation or with tips.
submitted by shangodjango to thepassportbros [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 12:55 anxietybee- I have actually beat myself up at this point and I don't know how to end the friendship

A few days ago we fought from 1:30a till about 8am. We have lengthy arguments like this all the time. We used to date, and it played a key role in the end of our relationship along with us having different values in general. I made it clear before we started dating I can't handle much fighting, particularly yelling, because of aspects of my childhood.
Two fights happened on my two birthdays- or before other important things like it's the night before a road trip or I'm ON the road trip. They happen when I want to go to bed or I'm about to run an errand. He monologs for literal hours at a time, and I can't speak up when he speaks incorrectly on my part because then I'm interrupting him and that causes more issues than me being misunderstood or remembered incorrectly.
In our relationship they were often caused by me not wanting him to pay my for my phone/phone bill before we'd been dating for even 3 months, though they were also caused by me being late to coming over and stuff like that as well. Sometimes I'd accidentally fall asleep after work instead of coming over, if I lay down after a shower, which I did a few times as I worked very early in the morning, and it made him feel like I didn't value his time.
I didn't talk to him for a few months after we broke up, even though he tried to contact me to apologize several times by texting/phonecalls/visiting several times at my apartment. Eventually someone knocked on my door and I opened it before I realized it was him. I didn't want to turn him away so we talked and he very sincerely apologized and talked about how he'd been going to therapy. I could recognize a great deal of change in him and we caught up on eachothers lives.
I moved to a different state like a week after we got in contact and i am struggling with this long distance friendship. He wants to talk all the time and I.. don't. I enjoy texting but sometimes I want to watch a show or play a game uninterrupted, but if I don't respond enough he feels ignored. He also likes to talk on the phone all the time and I really really don't enjoy talking on the phone at all, especially for hours at a time. We talked every night for a couple weeks in the beginning. But after a bad fight i reminded him I don't like being on the phone and said I wanted some space, which had been on my mind prior to the argument. The next week we talk on the phone for like 3 nights for a few hours, and maybe a few other little calls here and there, but he says it's not enough
But the thing is.. even when we talked for hours every night and texted pretty often it still wasn't enough. The only time it was enough was a short window when I checked my phone pretty obsessively to make sure I didn't miss a message from him and always stopped what I was doing to take his call
If my snap score goes up when we're not talking he asks me about it. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable explaining to him the other people I talk to in the day. And often I'm not even talking to them when I'm not talking to him- they send me snaps when I'm not on my phone. I don't respond to anyone unless I make sure I respond to him first to avoid this exact issue. I feel anxious when my friends snap me because I know my score will go up and he's going to ask me about it
For the most part, our fights presently revolve around him feeling like I don't care enough about our friendship or he's feeling ignored by me. But I really really don't know what to do anymore. I was talking on the phone for hours at a time, I was texting all the time and keeping my responses as long as possible.. I was planning movie days, etc. It was never enough.
He's upset my responses are getting shorter. And to be honest they have. Often times I talk about my life, especially someone else in my life, it triggers a fight. Not always in the moment but it always comes back to bite me in the butt later. Particularly if I'm hanging out with my roommate, because in my friends eyes he and I get to hang out with all time. Which we kind of don't- my time is far more devoted to my friend than my roomate. But even if it wasn't- I like hanging out with my roomate because we can quietly sit in the same room together, and we don't have any conflict. He is a very kind presence and I'm grateful to have him as a friend.
It's hard talking about your life while also revealing the bare minimum about your life, and so I'm responding kind of shortly about my things and just try to focus on him.
The fight we had a few days ago was about us not talking enough. Sort of. The reasons our fights go on for hours is because I don't know how to respond to him when he brings up an issue. I sincerely try my best and I try it all. When he brings something up I explain to him I understand his concerns, both using his exact words and in my own words I explain why he's upset. If I agree with him I will apologize and tell him how I'm going to fix it and I fix it, after we fight for a few hours ofc, because he doesn't believe I can understand/apologize and fix something so early into a conversation.
Other times he keeps pushing me to explain myself, but if I explain my pov, things really really blow up because I don't always agree with him. And I think he confuses me not agreeing with him to not understanding. One of our fights came because he was upset when I got home with my roommate at 1am, when I had a 3 hour drive at 8am the next morning. Which blows my mind, because he fought with me literally all night before I drove across the state. I didn't tell him that though, I said I didn't mind getting home till 1 because I had fun when I was out and will still get plenty of sleep. But we still fought.
Anyway... the other day he brought up he feels like we don't talk enough. And I said I understand it's hard but this is the boundary I'm setting because I don't enjoy being on the phone. We fight and he says that even when we do talk I'm not talking enough right now. We fight and I reluctantly told him I just don't feel comfortable opening up right now. We fight and fight and it's turning me into a person I dont know or how to control.
In the beginning of our relationship I was quiet and just agreed to everything he said to avoid the argument. This didnt always work but it tends to. Now I get so overwhelmed and angry after several hours I mute my phone and scream into my pillow. This last call I started hitting myself, which I've never done before, and the next day my cheeks were bumpy and itchy, my forehead was swollen, my scalp hurt to touch, and I'm still getting over my two black eyes. He did NOT cause me to hit myself and he doesn't know. I feel silly for doing it. But I find myself at my breaking point and I don't know how to manage these fights anymore.
After hours and hours I break down and I just start agreeing to whatever he says I'm wrong about because I want it to end. I repeat the very thing I said eight hours ago- what I'm wrong about and how I'm going to fix it, but only now after crying on the phone all night long is it kind of enough.
He sent me a long apology the morning after the fight and said he wouldn't do it anymore. I thanked him for not wanting those fights anymore. He sent me a pic of his dog and I said she was cute. That night I let our streak die. He messaged me this morning "you let our streak die" and I sat at my phone for ten minutes thinking of how to respond and eventually I just decided not to. He called me twice tonight at around 8pm and texted that he wanted us to talk for a bit, but i had made plans with another friend of mine a week ago to play animal crossing, so I did that and didn't respond to him. At 3am I saw he was typing on snapchat and I'm anxious because I've been receiving snaps and know my score went up, even though I have sent zero snaps to keep the number as low as I can
I know he wants to be friends still
But I sort of don't want to be friends anymore???? I really love the positive things in our relationship. In a lot of ways he was the best boyfriend and best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this anymore. I hate the person I am in these fights. I know he does not control my actions, it is not his fault I scream in my pillow or gave myself black eyes. But I have never in my life had any sort of romantic or friendly relationship like this. And I don't enjoy it. I really really love not fighting with my loved ones. And I really feel like no matter what I do to make him feel heard when he brings up an issue it's not enough. Every fight we have damages our friendship, which I've told him several times. I used to get over them easily but I am just so drained I always feel wary for the next blow up.
But I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning our friendship? I don't know how to end a friendship? I've never had one end that wasn't a result of just growing apart. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I never opened my door when he came over. I'm supposed to go to my home state shortly and I'm very anxious about being in the same state as him
submitted by anxietybee- to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 12:40 Powerful_Ad5921 Still in love with my high school crush and it's just killing me on the inside

I've been in love with this woman(X) since I was 14 or 15. I'm 26 now. Nearly 10 or 11 years later. We've been close friends on and off througout these years. On and off because I keep trying to cut ties(which I fail to keep cut because I just end up talking to her again). I did it once in high school when she got a boyfriend and then started talking to her again when they broke up, but I never had the balls to ask her out the rest of high school, and finally when it ended I tried cutting ties again before I left for uni(thought it'd be for good this time because we were going to different states, more than 10 hours away from each other). Things were going okay in uni, in my first year, and I found someone else(Y) that I liked, she had a boyfriend(long distance) so I wasn't hitting on her but l'm pretty sure she knew I liked her. We got really close in the first few months of uni, one day she asks me if i like her and I said yes, after which we stopped talking which really fucking hurt because I thought we were close friends. Right after that happened I started texting X again and it was like we never stopped talking. I got caught for weed at my dorm one night and while I was flipping out about being kicked out of the dorm and my parents finding out, she calls me up and one of the worst nights of my life turned out to be the best, and I guess that's when I realized I'm might still be in love with her. And I confirmed I was in love with her when one of our mutual friends told me that she told him that she liked me at some point in high school. But I didn't wanna admit it or tell her because I saw no point since we were 10 hours apart which just made me feel like absolute shit. Prior to college, till shit went south with Y, I'd never smoked(cigs or weed) or drank and was completely against it. One night I decided to get wasted(it was my first time getting drunk, and the last tbh for another 2 years) and since I didnt know any better I had 8 or 9 shots of whiskey back to back after which I got pretty fucked up and out of control and I ended up texting her admitting how I felt in I think a fucking 3 page essay to which I got no response which made me feel like absolute dogshit and I ended up crying the entire night at my friend's place. Next day I was still feeling like shit and I was at another friend's place smoking up and still crying about it to him and he just picks up my phone and calls her up and asks her to talk to me and she tells me she doesn't feel the same which broke me. After that conversation I just decided to just say fuck it, and fuck up my life, and I was just getting high on weed, alcohol or some other substance every day for the next 4 years. I barely attended uni, managed to get a year back. Pretty much wasted 5 years of my life just getting high or drunk. Anyways after that conversation with X, I stopped talking to her till I think my third year of uni. I met her once in twice in between, once when we were both back at our hometown, and once when she came to score some weed with her boyfriend (yeah I was also a dealer in uni). When I got into my 3rd year of uni, one day she hits me up outta nowhere and she said she's coming over to stay with me, and she stayed for like 2 days. I didnt make a move because I am a fucking dumbass, and I thought she just came there because we were friends. I call myself a dumbass because I do not understand signals from women. I'm also calling myself a dumbass because me and X ended up making out last year and she told me that she's wanted to do this for a while and when I asked her when she told me it whenever she came over to stay with me(which happened like 2 times). And the thing is, we made out after not talking to each other for nearly 3 years. After my uni I decided to completely cut ties with her because I knew that I was fucking up my life and one of the main reasons, there were plenty tbh, that were much worse than a girl not liking me but none of that mattered really because I honestly haven't cared about anything or anyone as much as I cared about her and I didnt know how to get her to like me. At the time I even thought it was all her fault(because it's definitely easier to blame someone else for the shit that goes wrong in your life than to admit that you're the fucking problem) and so one night I just sent her this huge message telling her to get the fuck out if my life and how she has ruined it and blocked her. After this I decided to quit smoking weed every day and isolated myself for a good 6 months(well not really by choice, I decided to move to my uncle's house during covid, and he wouldn't let me out because he was scared of getting infected). After the 6 months I went back to my hometown and I meet her the day after I landed(cuz we have mutual friends) and she asked me if i blocked her and I said yeah. We ended up meeting again a couple of times because we pretty much have the same friends, which didn't help me get over her so I just decided to cut out all my friends for like 2 years. And honestly speaking I got my shit together in those 2 years. Now I've never been someone with a lot of confidence my whole life. I've been an addict with no self control. Addicted to different substances, food, porn, cigarettes, just being an absolute waste man. Throughout high-school I was a fatass ugly fucker. I got attractive in uni cuz I smoked weed and lost a fuck ton of weight, I was attractive on the outside but a piece of shit on the inside(I knew it, but no one else really did)so getting attractive really didn't help my confidence a bit. In the last 2 years I finally got my shit together, got over almost all my addictions(smoking was my main, now it's porn, trying to get over it now) started going to the gym regularly and felt happy about myself, and I decided to start talking to my old friends and unblocked X because I finally realized it's not her fault that shit went wrong in my life, but my own which i didn't really admit to her cuz I had too much ego. I didn't even start talking to her, I just unblocked her and started following her socials. We ended up meeting because of our mutual friends, and the second time we met, we got super drunk, and we both started apologizing to each other. Later that night she made a move on me and we made out for a bit. Now I've hooked up with other people, but I've always felt like shit about it because it just never felt good. But I can't forget this fucking night, like it's etched in my fucking memory unlike most things because I have a shit memory. Honestly I forget most things that happen in my life except for moments i spend with her. Thing is I didn't wanna pursue it any further because I was leaving the country to pursue my passion (which didn't work out and I returned back home) and now I feel like it's too late to pursue it, because I don't think she's interested. I don't wanna tell her how I feel either because I've done this before and it's never worked out. I used to keep making excuses about being single to everyone by telling people that i don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of women after college(partially true), but now at my new job I meet plenty of women but I'm not interested in any of them because I know deep down I'm still in love with X. I don't think I can fall in love with anyone else and honestly I don't know what the fuck to do at this point. Worst part is life is going great at this point after being down in the dumps for so long. Got a decent job that I actually like going to, got great friends, have a lot of control over myself, but I still don't feel any happier because I'm not with her. Can't even tell this to anyone cuz our mutual friends think I'm over her, and don't know anything that happened between us. And my other friends just don't support me liking her so I just tell them I don't like her anymore.
submitted by Powerful_Ad5921 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 12:40 anxietybee- I have literally beat myself up at this point and I don't know how to end the friendship

A few days ago we fought from 1:30a till about 8am. We have lengthy arguments like this all the time. We used to date, and it played a key role in the end of our relationship along with us having different values in general. I made it clear before we started dating I can't handle much fighting, particularly yelling, because of aspects of my childhood.
Two fights happened on my two birthdays- or before other important things like it's the night before a road trip or I'm ON the road trip. They happen when I want to go to bed or I'm about to run an errand. He monologs for literal hours at a time, and I can't speak up when he speaks incorrectly on my part because then I'm interrupting him and that causes more issues than me being misunderstood or remembered incorrectly.
In our relationship they were often caused by me not wanting him to pay my for my phone/phone bill before we'd been dating for even 3 months, though they were also caused by me being late to coming over and stuff like that as well. Sometimes I'd accidentally fall asleep after work instead of coming over, if I lay down after a shower, which I did a few times as I worked very early in the morning, and it made him feel like I didn't value his time.
I didn't talk to him for a few months after we broke up, even though he tried to contact me to apologize several times by texting/phonecalls/visiting several times at my apartment. Eventually someone knocked on my door and I opened it before I realized it was him. I didn't want to turn him away so we talked and he very sincerely apologized and talked about how he'd been going to therapy. I could recognize a great deal of change in him and we caught up on eachothers lives.
I moved to a different state like a week after we got in contact and i am struggling with this long distance friendship. He wants to talk all the time and I.. don't. I enjoy texting but sometimes I want to watch a show or play a game uninterrupted, but if I don't respond enough he feels ignored. He also likes to talk on the phone all the time and I really really don't enjoy talking on the phone at all, especially for hours at a time. We talked every night for a couple weeks in the beginning. But after a bad fight i reminded him I don't like being on the phone and said I wanted some space, which had been on my mind prior to the argument. The next week we talk on the phone for like 3 nights for a few hours, and maybe a few other little calls here and there, but he says it's not enough
But the thing is.. even when we talked for hours every night and texted pretty often it still wasn't enough. The only time it was enough was a short window when I checked my phone pretty obsessively to make sure I didn't miss a message from him and always stopped what I was doing to take his call
If my snap score goes up when we're not talking he asks me about it. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable explaining to him the other people I talk to in the day. And often I'm not even talking to them when I'm not talking to him- they send me snaps when I'm not on my phone. I don't respond to anyone unless I make sure I respond to him first to avoid this exact issue. I feel anxious when my friends snap me because I know my score will go up and he's going to ask me about it
For the most part, our fights presently revolve around him feeling like I don't care enough about our friendship or he's feeling ignored by me. But I really really don't know what to do anymore. I was talking on the phone for hours at a time, I was texting all the time and keeping my responses as long as possible.. I was planning movie days, etc. It was never enough.
He's upset my responses are getting shorter. And to be honest they have. Often times I talk about my life, especially someone else in my life, it triggers a fight. Not always in the moment but it always comes back to bite me in the butt later. Particularly if I'm hanging out with my roommate, because in my friends eyes he and I get to hang out with all time. Which we kind of don't- my time is far more devoted to my friend than my roomate. But even if it wasn't- I like hanging out with my roomate because we can quietly sit in the same room together, and we don't have any conflict. He is a very kind presence and I'm grateful to have him as a friend.
It's hard talking about your life while also revealing the bare minimum about your life, and so I'm responding kind of shortly about my things and just try to focus on him.
The fight we had a few days ago was about us not talking enough. Sort of. The reasons our fights go on for hours is because I don't know how to respond to him when he brings up an issue. I sincerely try my best and I try it all. When he brings something up I explain to him I understand his concerns, both using his exact words and in my own words I explain why he's upset. If I agree with him I will apologize and tell him how I'm going to fix it and I fix it, after we fight for a few hours ofc, because he doesn't believe I can understand/apologize and fix something so early into a conversation.
Other times he keeps pushing me to explain myself, but if I explain my pov, things really really blow up because I don't always agree with him. And I think he confuses me not agreeing with him to not understanding. One of our fights came because he was upset when I got home with my roommate at 1am, when I had a 3 hour drive at 8am the next morning. Which blows my mind, because he fought with me literally all night before I drove across the state. I didn't tell him that though, I said I didn't mind getting home till 1 because I had fun when I was out and will still get plenty of sleep. But we still fought.
Anyway... the other day he brought up he feels like we don't talk enough. And I said I understand it's hard but this is the boundary I'm setting because I don't enjoy being on the phone. We fight and he says that even when we do talk I'm not talking enough right now. We fight and I reluctantly told him I just don't feel comfortable opening up right now. We fight and fight and it's turning me into a person I dont know or how to control.
In the beginning of our relationship I was quiet and just agreed to everything he said to avoid the argument. This didnt always work but it tends to. Now I get so overwhelmed and angry after several hours I mute my phone and scream into my pillow. This last call I started hitting myself, which I've never done before, and the next day my cheeks were bumpy and itchy, my forehead was swollen, my scalp hurt to touch, and I'm still getting over my two black eyes. He did NOT cause me to hit myself and he doesn't know. I feel silly for doing it. But I find myself at my breaking point and I don't know how to manage these fights anymore.
After hours and hours I break down and I just start agreeing to whatever he says I'm wrong about because I want it to end. I repeat the very thing I said eight hours ago- what I'm wrong about and how I'm going to fix it, but only now after crying on the phone all night long is it kind of enough.
He sent me a long apology the morning after the fight and said he wouldn't do it anymore. I thanked him for not wanting those fights anymore. He sent me a pic of his dog and I said she was cute. That night I let our streak die. He messaged me this morning "you let our streak die" and I sat at my phone for ten minutes thinking of how to respond and eventually I just decided not to. He called me twice tonight at around 8pm and texted that he wanted us to talk for a bit, but i had made plans with another friend of mine a week ago to play animal crossing, so I did that and didn't respond to him. At 3am I saw he was typing on snapchat and I'm anxious because I've been receiving snaps and know my score went up, even though I have sent zero snaps to keep the number as low as I can
I know he wants to be friends still
But I sort of don't want to be friends anymore???? I really love the positive things in our relationship. In a lot of ways he was the best boyfriend and best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this anymore. I hate the person I am in these fights. I know he does not control my actions, it is not his fault I scream in my pillow or gave myself black eyes. But I have never in my life had any sort of romantic or friendly relationship like this. And I don't enjoy it. I really really love not fighting with my loved ones. And I really feel like no matter what I do to make him feel heard when he brings up an issue it's not enough. Every fight we have damages our friendship, which I've told him several times. I used to get over them easily but I am just so drained I always feel wary for the next blow up.
But I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning our friendship? I don't know how to end a friendship? I've never had one end that wasn't a result of just growing apart. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I never opened my door when he came over. I'm supposed to go to my home state shortly and I'm very anxious about being in the same state as him
submitted by anxietybee- to FriendshipAdvice [link] [comments]


http://swiebodzin.info