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For affair dynamic where one person (male or female) is single and the other is married/attached.
2013.12.31 22:12 WorkBitch204 For affair dynamic where one person (male or female) is single and the other is married/attached.
This is a non-judgemental place for the affair dynamic of a single person in an affair with a married/attached person, or married/attached person in an affair with a single person. Here you can discuss your experiences being the other person or MW/MM and seek help from those who are going through or have gone through being part of an affair.
2013.05.13 11:21 myfavor8throwaway Surviving Infidelity
Welcome to Surviving Infidelity. If you're here, it's because you are surviving, or have survived, infidelity in a relationship that you thought was life-long. This is a support sub, a safe place to ask for advice and guidance. Regardless of your decision to stay in your relationship or to go, we are here to support you on your path to recovery. We ask that you please read our sub rules before posting.
2016.07.29 13:13 Advice, help, vent about your experience with dating a widow or widower
This forum is for those dating or in a relationship with a widow or widower. If you haven't been in this situation, you can only speculate, and speculation hurts and invalidates. Dating someone who lost their significant other is difficult until you learn how to maneuver the situation. It doesn't start great and settle in. It starts off shaky and gets better with time. Find the help you need here, from others in the same situation.
2024.05.19 05:19 Fun_Sized_Taylor Lauren’s GG Tidbits
I saw Lauren speak at a promo event today for her latest book. I thought you guys would be interested in some of the GG tidbits she shared. I’m sure some of this may have been mentioned before by others who’ve heard her speak.
-One episode would take about 8 12-14 hour work days. -Sometimes Kelly would walk up to her and ask if she wanted to share a bag of Cheetos. She said she would say to Kelly, “ooh you’re bad.” -From the GG AYITL set, she took a refrigerator magnet with a picture of Alexis, it said you’re the apple of my eye. She also took a pig figurine that she never noticed before and some clothes. I wish she shared which clothing items! She also has THE sign or a sign of the Dragonfly Inn in her garage. -Ed heard about the ending of the show from a video store employee who said “Sorry about your show” to him. She got the news from her agent while out at dinner. -She would be interested in doing a GG Christmas movie where we find out the father of Rory’s baby. She thinks the baby is a girl and would be named Lolo. These are her musings and not the shows. -Apparently she never answers the question: Dean, Jess or Logan? -She would not marry Kirk LOL. -Lastly she shared a funny story where while working with Meryl Streep on a movie, Meryl told her she was a good listener and because Lauren was so nervous, her response was “What?”
Edit: just remembered more. -Her comfort shows that she either has on or would have in the background - Sex and the City and she also mentioned The Godfather lol. -Kelly and Lauren sign off their texts to each other, TVM and TVD (tv mom and daughter).
submitted by Fun_Sized_Taylor to GilmoreGirls [link] [comments]
-One episode would take about 8 12-14 hour work days. -Sometimes Kelly would walk up to her and ask if she wanted to share a bag of Cheetos. She said she would say to Kelly, “ooh you’re bad.” -From the GG AYITL set, she took a refrigerator magnet with a picture of Alexis, it said you’re the apple of my eye. She also took a pig figurine that she never noticed before and some clothes. I wish she shared which clothing items! She also has THE sign or a sign of the Dragonfly Inn in her garage. -Ed heard about the ending of the show from a video store employee who said “Sorry about your show” to him. She got the news from her agent while out at dinner. -She would be interested in doing a GG Christmas movie where we find out the father of Rory’s baby. She thinks the baby is a girl and would be named Lolo. These are her musings and not the shows. -Apparently she never answers the question: Dean, Jess or Logan? -She would not marry Kirk LOL. -Lastly she shared a funny story where while working with Meryl Streep on a movie, Meryl told her she was a good listener and because Lauren was so nervous, her response was “What?”
Edit: just remembered more. -Her comfort shows that she either has on or would have in the background - Sex and the City and she also mentioned The Godfather lol. -Kelly and Lauren sign off their texts to each other, TVM and TVD (tv mom and daughter).
2024.05.15 11:23 whatyasaybud Self-inviting guests?!
My wedding is next month, and my fiance and I are trying to minimize the guest list as much as we can. On the invites, we have CLEARLY stated how many persons are invited to the reception, also have mentioned it's an ADULT-ONLY RECEPTION.
My father's uncle (late 80s) has three daughters, all of which are married. I will name them Tina (youngest, one 3 year old daughter), Jamie (middle, one 6 year old son), and Alexy (oldest with 2 young adult kids) for the sake of storytelling.
Two months ago, it was my bridal shower, and Tina brought her 3 year old with her without informing me beforehand (which is fine, she's 3), and then Alexy also brought her 21 year old daughter claiming "Jamie can't make it so I will get my daughter instead". This was done and over.
Now, the invites were given to them last week, we only invited my father uncle and his wife, and the three daughters with their husbands.
Yesterday, I receive a message from Alexy asking if her daughter can also attent, even though her card CLEARLY says the invitation is for 2 persons - her and her husband.
I responded saying we're on a tight number with the guest list, and that if Tina's husband who lives in Dubai can't make it, her daughter can take his place.
My father today is guilt tripping me that we shouldn't say no to their request, they're family, etc - but he's not the one paying for the wedding, my fiance is, and each guest costs us around $100.
Today, the youngest sister Tina sent a voice note, saying "I found a flower girl dress in my wardrobe, I will send you an image if you want my 3 year old to stand as a flower girl"
I never insinuated to her once that I was planning to have her daughter as my flower girl. There is only one flower girl, her dress is already decided, and even if I were to have other kids as my flower girls, there are others more close to me than her.
This bugs me because they keep trying to enforce themselves on a wedding they have no hand in planning, and nor am I that close with them. They're my father's uncle's daughters - I see them once a year at the most.
As mentioned, the event is adult-only. The only kids we are having are my fiance's niece and nephew who are the ring boy and flower girl, but something in me says these three sisters will bring their kids, and other relatives who do have kids will be offended.
I don't know how to handle this situation. Any advice?
submitted by whatyasaybud to wedding [link] [comments]
My father's uncle (late 80s) has three daughters, all of which are married. I will name them Tina (youngest, one 3 year old daughter), Jamie (middle, one 6 year old son), and Alexy (oldest with 2 young adult kids) for the sake of storytelling.
Two months ago, it was my bridal shower, and Tina brought her 3 year old with her without informing me beforehand (which is fine, she's 3), and then Alexy also brought her 21 year old daughter claiming "Jamie can't make it so I will get my daughter instead". This was done and over.
Now, the invites were given to them last week, we only invited my father uncle and his wife, and the three daughters with their husbands.
Yesterday, I receive a message from Alexy asking if her daughter can also attent, even though her card CLEARLY says the invitation is for 2 persons - her and her husband.
I responded saying we're on a tight number with the guest list, and that if Tina's husband who lives in Dubai can't make it, her daughter can take his place.
My father today is guilt tripping me that we shouldn't say no to their request, they're family, etc - but he's not the one paying for the wedding, my fiance is, and each guest costs us around $100.
Today, the youngest sister Tina sent a voice note, saying "I found a flower girl dress in my wardrobe, I will send you an image if you want my 3 year old to stand as a flower girl"
I never insinuated to her once that I was planning to have her daughter as my flower girl. There is only one flower girl, her dress is already decided, and even if I were to have other kids as my flower girls, there are others more close to me than her.
This bugs me because they keep trying to enforce themselves on a wedding they have no hand in planning, and nor am I that close with them. They're my father's uncle's daughters - I see them once a year at the most.
As mentioned, the event is adult-only. The only kids we are having are my fiance's niece and nephew who are the ring boy and flower girl, but something in me says these three sisters will bring their kids, and other relatives who do have kids will be offended.
I don't know how to handle this situation. Any advice?
2024.05.15 10:53 whatyasaybud Dad's cousins being weird, wedding next month
My wedding is next month, and my fiance and I are trying to minimize the guest list as much as we can. On the invites, we have CLEARLY stated how many persons are invited to the reception, also have mentioned it's an ADULT-ONLY RECEPTION.
My father's uncle (late 80s) has three daughters, all of which are married. I will name them Tina (youngest, one 3 year old daughter), Jamie (middle, one 6 year old son), and Alexy (oldest with 2 young adult kids) for the sake of storytelling.
Two months ago, it was my bridal shower, and Tina brought her 3 year old with her without informing me beforehand (which is fine, she's 3), and then Alexy also brought her 21 year old daughter claiming "Jamie can't make it so I will get my daughter instead". This was done and over.
Now, the invites were given to them last week, we only invited my father uncle and his wife, and the three daughters with their husbands.
Yesterday, I receive a message from Alexy asking if her daughter can also attent, even though her card CLEARLY says the invitation is for 2 persons - her and her husband.
I responded saying we're on a tight number with the guest list, and that if Tina's husband who lives in Dubai can't make it, her daughter can take his place.
My father today is guilt tripping me that we shouldn't say no to their request, they're family, etc - but he's not the one paying for the wedding, my fiance is, and each guest costs us around $100.
Today, the youngest sister Tina sent a voice note, saying "I found a flower girl dress in my wardrobe, I will send you an image if you want my 3 year old to stand as a flower girl"
I never insinuated to her once that I was planning to have her daughter as my flower girl. There is only one flower girl, her dress is already decided, and even if I were to have other kids as my flower girls, there are others more close to me than her.
This bugs me because they keep trying to enforce themselves on a wedding they have no hand in planning, and nor am I that close with them. They're my father's uncle's daughters - I see them once a year at the most.
As mentioned, the event is adult-only. The only kids we are having are my fiance's niece and nephew who are the ring boy and flower girl, but something in me says these three sisters will bring their kids, and other relatives who do have kids will be offended.
I don't know how to handle this situation. Any advice?
submitted by whatyasaybud to weddingplanning [link] [comments]
My father's uncle (late 80s) has three daughters, all of which are married. I will name them Tina (youngest, one 3 year old daughter), Jamie (middle, one 6 year old son), and Alexy (oldest with 2 young adult kids) for the sake of storytelling.
Two months ago, it was my bridal shower, and Tina brought her 3 year old with her without informing me beforehand (which is fine, she's 3), and then Alexy also brought her 21 year old daughter claiming "Jamie can't make it so I will get my daughter instead". This was done and over.
Now, the invites were given to them last week, we only invited my father uncle and his wife, and the three daughters with their husbands.
Yesterday, I receive a message from Alexy asking if her daughter can also attent, even though her card CLEARLY says the invitation is for 2 persons - her and her husband.
I responded saying we're on a tight number with the guest list, and that if Tina's husband who lives in Dubai can't make it, her daughter can take his place.
My father today is guilt tripping me that we shouldn't say no to their request, they're family, etc - but he's not the one paying for the wedding, my fiance is, and each guest costs us around $100.
Today, the youngest sister Tina sent a voice note, saying "I found a flower girl dress in my wardrobe, I will send you an image if you want my 3 year old to stand as a flower girl"
I never insinuated to her once that I was planning to have her daughter as my flower girl. There is only one flower girl, her dress is already decided, and even if I were to have other kids as my flower girls, there are others more close to me than her.
This bugs me because they keep trying to enforce themselves on a wedding they have no hand in planning, and nor am I that close with them. They're my father's uncle's daughters - I see them once a year at the most.
As mentioned, the event is adult-only. The only kids we are having are my fiance's niece and nephew who are the ring boy and flower girl, but something in me says these three sisters will bring their kids, and other relatives who do have kids will be offended.
I don't know how to handle this situation. Any advice?
2024.05.11 22:43 shaneka69 Chrisean Rock Astrology Forecast As Of May 11, 2024
Chrisean Rock Astrology Forecast As Of May 11, 2024
With Mother's Day tomorrow and Chrisean Rock being a new mom, let's just do an updated astrology reading for her by checking her birth chart.As we know, Chrisean was born in Baltimore and is known for her appearance on Baddies with Natalie Nunn and her own show she had with Blueface.
We know that she is a Pisces which is her sun sign/zodiac sign. She has a Cancer Moon which rules your emotions and emotional state.
Uranus is currently sextile Chrisean Rock's sun which means that she will be openly showing unpredictability and will likely be shocking people and even herself.
Uranus is in her 12th house which is the house of the unknown and blind spots as well. This can mean that she will have breakthroughs and insights. Could even result in premonitions and informative dream states.
Pluto is the planet known for exposing and causing change and this planet is currently opposing her North Node which shows that there will be a gradual process in her doing what she is supposed to be doing and going in the right direction. Pluto isn't making any connections with her personal planets yet, so she isn't expected to be going through anything too major right now.
Jupiter sextile her sun is giving her the expanding energy for her sports endeavor. Her Aries Mars will always see her through naturally though.
Let's go forward to the following month, June on this day to see what she may be experiencing.
Jupiter is the ruler of her 7th and 10th house and on June 11, 2024, she will have Jupiter squaring her Venus and Mercury which means that there can be issues with points getting across or communication issues between her and family or her and Blueface. She is likely to be intuitive around this time with Jupiter making a trine to her natal Neptune.
Since Jupiter will be squaring her Mercury and Venus, let's put focus on the fact that Mercury rules her ascendant and 4th house which is why there can be a link with family or her lover if it isn't about her mindset. Virgo being in her 4th house though makes it more tangible. Venus rules her 12th house and 5th house of romance and children. Basically this whole Jupiter aspect transit could be connected to her family. Let's see what happens.
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2024.05.11 13:31 Accurate-Message-469 Bedroom stories: Kate and Rick have been married 18 years; they have 3 children. Two people that have forged a Great Love Story sharing intimate conversations at bedtime.
As with all my stories, there has and never will be a season 8. All my stories "Always" pick up from Hollander's Woods. I've fudged their ages a little to fit the narrative.
Kate was browsing on her I-Pad at vacation destinations. She took a sideways glance at her husband next to her, they were both leaning up against the headboard. He was on his computer consumed in his latest story. She put her head against the headboard and closed her eyes for a minute. Eighteen years, they've been married over 18years, with 3 kids all teens. She just turned 52 and Her husband's next birthday would be his 62nd. Kate opened her eyes and looked at him again. His hair was 50% white, and he had to wear glasses for close up writing and reading. She thought he was still the sexiest man alive, and they still went at it like teenagers.
Rick felt his wife staring at him. he mischievously placed his hand on her thigh and started running it up her leg. Kate blurted out, "Oh no you don't lover boy. Not tonight. Do you know that I had to limp into work this morning, from that acrobatic move you put me in last night... Rick, I just don't bend like that anymore!
Her husband chuckled, "I didn't hear you complaining last night".
Kate huffed, "Yeah well it's like when you get drunk, your happy in the moment but there's hell to pay the next day". She hit him in the arm and said, "They were laughing at me at work, at least the women were. I had a couple of them yell out, "Hey Captain what did you and Rick get up to last night." Kate, remembering their last night session smiled and said, "I feel like I've pulled something in my hamstrings. You have to be aware that I'm 52, and I don't bend like I used to.
"Never thought I'd hear that my wife would concede that I was too much man for her", Castle laughed.
"Oh, really mister big shot stud, what about last year when they had to peal you out of the limo. You threw your back out for 3 weeks", Kate smiled at the recollection.
Castle chuckled, "Well it seemed like a good idea at the time, I must have misjudged the dismount".
Kate laughing said, "And then on top of everything they drag you out of the Limo and you've got my underwear in your hands. Then you proceed to put my underwear on your head and started yelling out to everyone that you were the Frito Bandito. I still can't look at Ken (the limo driver) anymore without him looking at me with a big smirk on his face".
"I blame you for that. That Policeman's Benefit Gala you dragged to was boooorrring!... I think I had too much champagne trying to get thru the mind-numbing conversations that were going on. I know you were obligated to go, but my god it was like watching paint dry, but your right honey from now on I'll take your age into account when I pull my special maneuvers". Castle smirked.
She looked at him and smiled, "Shut Up".
They went back to what they were doing. They had always been comfortable in their silence. Being together was all that they needed. Castle noticed his wife was running her hands up and down his arm. After they had gotten engaged years ago, he noticed she was really a big cuddler and toucher, which had surprised him, but since the incident 4 years ago it had gotten much more noticeable. Rick thought back in his head to that day.
4 years ago, Castle and Kate had been in the kitchen. She had a rare day off from work, the kids were in school, so it was just them. When all of a sudden, he had started to clutch his chest. He had yelled out to Kate, and she started calling 911. Kate was in tears as they had wheeled him into the hospital. They had found out that he just had a major panic attack due to high levels of stress. Gina and Paula had swamped him in Book tours, and Book signings, plus were pushing him about his next novel, and it had just been too much.
When they got home Kate had gone into a tirade. "Rick" she yelled, "Give me your phone. I'm taking over management of your dealings with Black Pawn and Paula from now on and I don't want to hear a single argument from you about this", as she pointed a finger at him, "Dammit Rick, your just too nice for your own good, you don't know when to say no. This Fucking stops today, Rick, do you hear me. No More"!
Castle sheepishly had handed his phone over to her and said, "Sorry honey".
"Oh Baby, I'm not mad at you, I just want my husband to not be bullied". She then grabbed his phone and stalked off into his office. He listened in from the outside.
Kate had lit into Gina and Paula from the get-go, "Do you know what? Rick and I just came back from the ER, because we thought he was having a heart attack. It ended up having a massive panic attack, due to the stress he's been under trying to keep up with this fucked up schedule that you've both been trying to ram down his throat. I'm here to tell you that this shit is going to end now. From this point going forward, I will be handling all of Rick's obligations, and let me tell you this, we are going to be cutting waaayyyy back on everything!
Rick had heard his ex-wife Gina start to yell back at Kate, but Kate shut her down right away. "Gina, one more word from you, and Rick and I will start looking at over the dozens of prominent Publishing houses that have offers for him to come over to them. His graphic novels, children's books, serious Literature, and the occasional Nikki Heat books have him at the top of authors in the fucking world. We don't need either of you anymore. Rick continues to be loyal to Black Pawn because they gave him his start, but I don't share that loyalty. Are both of you fucking hearing me? I want my husband with me forever, and I will no longer allow you two to use his kindhearted nature against him anymore. Paula, send me a revised schedule that reflects a much lighter load, Rick and I will go thru them, and then you will get what we think is fair. It will be non-negotiable, you don't like it, then that's fine by us, because I will make both of you, yesterday's news. The days of you using my husband as your personal gravy train are over, and Gina listen to me well, if you try to go behind my back and try to contact Rick on your own, I will fucking bury you... Now, I need to hear that you both understand".
Paula said, "Kate I'm so sorry, I didn't know that Ricky was struggling with the schedule, I always think of him a machine. Tell Ricky I'm sorry, and hope he feels better. I'll get on that new schedule right away"?
Kate barked out "Gina I'm not hearing anything from you". Rick heard silence for what seemed forever, and then he heard his ex-wife yell back, "Fine", and then she hung up.
He remembered Kate running off to their bedroom and finding her in their bed crying. As he got in bed with her and held her tight, she buried her face in his chest and said, "I can't be without you Babe... I Can't... I just Can't." He remembers telling her, trying to get her to smile, "Hey honey nice use of the Senator Bracken quote when you saved his life... I'll fucking bury you... that's a classic!
Kate had chuckled thru a sob, "Well that douchebag was at least good for something".
He then assured her that he was going nowhere, and that they would have their always. After that incident and all the free time that opened due to Kate managing his time, he had got back into the gym and started working out again. He had built up some muscle and had lost 20 pounds. Kate told him how proud she was of him and noticed how she liked to fondle his biceps even more then she usually did.
A couple of months ago she told him that she was putting in her 30 and was going to retire from the force. She told him that she wanted to spend more time with him and the kids. He knew his wife; she was probably thinking that time was slipping away from them and wanted to make their moments count. It's not like that thought hadn't occurred to him too. Castle broke from his reverie, as he heard of in the distance, "Babe, are you even listening to me? Rick...Rick".
He turned to look at his wife, "Sorry honey, I'm sorry, I went off into la la land again".
Kate smiled and said, "So, where did you go this time in that amazing brain of yours? Good thoughts?"
"Honey, when I think of you their always good thoughts." he replied.
"I love you too, you big sap. Anyway, I was thinking about just you and I going on a vacation. For maybe 3 weeks. I've already looked into it, and I think that everything will line up. I called downtown, and 1PP said that Javy could take over as captain while I'm gone, it will give him some experience for when I retire, and he takes over. Alexis and David (her husband of 5 years) said that they were thinking of going to the Hamptons for the summer, so they could watch the boys along with Lanie. You know Lanie, any excuse to stay in the Hamptons with the boys, plus Lilly told me of a summer program starting at Columbia that was promoting classes for advanced kids that want to learn languages especially Russian, and she asked if she could go."
"Will there be boys there, I worry about Flower on her own"? Castle asked.
Kate smiled at him calling his daughter, Flower. He had called his daughter Little Flower since she was a baby. Kate had actually asked Lilly if she wanted her Dad, to stop calling her Flower, and she was taken back, at how panicked her daughter had gotten. Lilly had started to cry, and said, "No, Mom, don't say anything to Daddy, I love that he calls me Flower. He can call me that forever". Kate, had to calm her down and reassure her that she would say nothing.
"Babe, flower will be fine. I'll have Javy run a background check, on everyone involved, but she's going be fine. (Rick still had the occasional nightmare from when Alexis was kidnapped, so she had to walk a fine line when broaching Columbia). "Look Rick she's growing up; she needs to have the reigns loosened a little and see that we can trust her.
Castle turned his head to her, and she saw that he was fighting back tears. "I just need to know that she's safe Kate. I couldn't bear anything happening to her. We'll all sit down and look at the program tomorrow, and I promise if all goes well on the background check that she can go. Okay"?
"Okay Babe, but you need to have an open mind on this. Take it from a someone that knows what it's like to be a teenage girl. You hold the reigns to tight; they start to feel strangled. Remember how you and Alexis went back and forth when you were trying to hold on to tight? If the background check comes out clean you need to let her go.
Castle sighed, and said, "Okay honey she can go, I don't want to hurt her feelings, but it won't make me worry less. I want daily phone calls from her. No exceptions".
Kate knew that Lilly was a Daddy's girl, and that he was very protective of her much like he was of Alexis. Kate always knew he would be an amazing father but watching him over the years had simply amazed her. The kids adored him, he was so attentive and loving, plus his world of imagination captured them from when they were little. Royce, wanted to be a writer since he was 7, and he wrote every chance he got. Castle told him how proud of him he was as he did with all the kids. James, (Royce's twin brother) was more like her, constantly getting into scraps trying to protect other kids from bullies. Kate had already started to work with him on the speed bag, and Rick always told James that he would-be a kickass cop just like his mother. Castle would spin stories of their exploits, making them so spectacular then even though she had lived threw them, she was still riveted in the way he had spun their tales. The kids always gasped at just what their parents had been thru before they were born. Castle and Kate had decided a long time ago that they would try as best they could to never tell them of just how close they had been to death so many times as partners, though Castle told her it was just a matter of time until they find out, considering how much of their exploits had made local and national news, so they always prepared for that day.
Kate still to this day berated herself for those early years when she had pushed him away, she knew how much she had hurt him at times. He had become the light to her darkness, and she realized that every year that she had kept him at arm's length was a year that she could never get back being so helplessly in love with him.
Changing the subject Kate said to Rick, " Rick we need a vacation, I want just you and me to get away, you know I love our kids, but I miss my husband. I need this to happen Babe, I need alone time with you. I want it to just be us. Talk about anything we want, do anything we want, and know that there will be no interruptions".
"Honey", he replied, "You don't have to sell me on this, I'm all in. I even have an idea. Remember the year of our engagement when I told you about a college friend that turned into a billionaire by the age of 30 and bought his own island"?
Kate got excited and said, "Yeah...yeah, I remember saying that we should invite him to the wedding.
"Well, I just happen to know that he doesn't stay there anymore but he rents out the place for friends. It's a beautiful bungalow with all the amenities. They ship in food by boat, every 4 days. You can request scuba gear, jet skis, whatever, and they will be waiting for you when you get there. Plenty of booze to make tropical drinks, and the best part is that you hardly need any clothes, because it's a secluded Island. You can go naked, or bring just your thong, or bikini, but the point is that you can pack light. For emergencies their just 30 minutes away by boat. Just to let you know however, if you just wear your bikini underwear, I will have to confiscate them and turn into the Frito Bandito".
"You'll have to catch me first hot shot... Rick, do you think that you can find out tomorrow, to see if its available"?
"First thing in the morning honey", he winked.
A little while later Kate had fallen silent. Castle looked over at his wife and saw her fisting her hands in the sheets, she did that when she was broaching a subject that she felt insecure about. "What's going on in that gorgeous mind of yours honey".
Kate starred down at the sheets and whispered. "Do you still think I'm beautiful Babe? I was looking in the mirror this morning, and I just felt so ugly, I've got all these stretch marks, bullet scars, knife wounds and I've probably put on 10 pounds of baby fat that I can't get off. I look in the mirror sometimes and think why you still want me sometimes.
Castle put his computer away, and he rolled over to face his wife. 'Katherine Castle, I can't believe what just came out of your mouth", he ran his hands under her Green Lantern night shirt pulling it all the way up to her stomach, then proceeded to plant light butterfly kisses all over her stretch marks. Kate looked down, mesmerized at what her husband was doing. Castle rose up and pulled Kate's chin up to look into her eyes. Those eyes that he fell into from the moment he first met her.
"Honey, do you know how amazing and beautiful you are to me"? Kate's eyes misted over. "Kate", he said, "These marks show the strength and determination of my warrior woman, who gave birth to our 3 wonderful children and when doctors warned you that twins at 42 would be too great a risk, you told them to shove it up their asses, and you fought and fought to bring them into this world. Your bullets scars are our history of fighting for justice, and your determination to face down all the evil in this world... Remember the banquet we went to a few months ago"? Kate with tears in her eyes nodded. Castle continued, "Everywhere we went that night I watched as every man turned to look at you as you were clearly the most beautiful woman in the whole place. I wrapped my arms around you to let one and all know that you were mine. I'm still amazed even after all these years what I did to deserve such a strong, independent, loving mother and wife as yourself. I will always be grateful for the day that you became mine, and I always find you stunning. You take my breath away sometimes.
As her husband wiped the tears from her eyes she smiled and said, "Babe if I'd known what I know now I would have let you debrief me, when I first met you".
Rick chuckled and said, "And I would have still had no idea, and don't think for one second you were fooling anyone when you walked away from me down that alley, putting a major swing to those beautiful hips of yours, I knew what you were doing".
She smiled at looked at him under those long lashes, "I might have put a little more oomph into my walk. I could already tell that you were an ass man".
Kate rolled over and placed her head on her husband's chest. They went to bed almost always like that every night. Castle ran his hands thru her hair. As Kate slipped off to dream world, she mumbled, "Don't forget to call your billionaire friend tomorrow Rick", and then she followed that up with, "Love you Always Baby".
"Me too honey...Me Too. You are my dream come true. Until tomorrow honey".
"Night Babe", she mumbled.
Castle smiled remembering the day that Kate asked why he couldn't just say goodnight. He had replied, "Goodnight is boring, until tomorrow was more... hopeful", and she had said, "Well I'm just a cop Castle so... night". He smiled at that memory and thought to himself how he still occasionally had to pinch himself when he looked at his amazing children and the love of his life. He told Kate once that his dreams do come true. He looked at his wife, her head on his chest sleeping and he thought that he was the luckiest man in the world. He smiled as he fell asleep knowing that he would soon see her again... in his dreams.
Hope you liked!
Thinking of doing a sequel to this, where the kids find newspaper clipping of Casketts exploits and want to know more.
submitted by Accurate-Message-469 to CastleTV [link] [comments]
Kate was browsing on her I-Pad at vacation destinations. She took a sideways glance at her husband next to her, they were both leaning up against the headboard. He was on his computer consumed in his latest story. She put her head against the headboard and closed her eyes for a minute. Eighteen years, they've been married over 18years, with 3 kids all teens. She just turned 52 and Her husband's next birthday would be his 62nd. Kate opened her eyes and looked at him again. His hair was 50% white, and he had to wear glasses for close up writing and reading. She thought he was still the sexiest man alive, and they still went at it like teenagers.
Rick felt his wife staring at him. he mischievously placed his hand on her thigh and started running it up her leg. Kate blurted out, "Oh no you don't lover boy. Not tonight. Do you know that I had to limp into work this morning, from that acrobatic move you put me in last night... Rick, I just don't bend like that anymore!
Her husband chuckled, "I didn't hear you complaining last night".
Kate huffed, "Yeah well it's like when you get drunk, your happy in the moment but there's hell to pay the next day". She hit him in the arm and said, "They were laughing at me at work, at least the women were. I had a couple of them yell out, "Hey Captain what did you and Rick get up to last night." Kate, remembering their last night session smiled and said, "I feel like I've pulled something in my hamstrings. You have to be aware that I'm 52, and I don't bend like I used to.
"Never thought I'd hear that my wife would concede that I was too much man for her", Castle laughed.
"Oh, really mister big shot stud, what about last year when they had to peal you out of the limo. You threw your back out for 3 weeks", Kate smiled at the recollection.
Castle chuckled, "Well it seemed like a good idea at the time, I must have misjudged the dismount".
Kate laughing said, "And then on top of everything they drag you out of the Limo and you've got my underwear in your hands. Then you proceed to put my underwear on your head and started yelling out to everyone that you were the Frito Bandito. I still can't look at Ken (the limo driver) anymore without him looking at me with a big smirk on his face".
"I blame you for that. That Policeman's Benefit Gala you dragged to was boooorrring!... I think I had too much champagne trying to get thru the mind-numbing conversations that were going on. I know you were obligated to go, but my god it was like watching paint dry, but your right honey from now on I'll take your age into account when I pull my special maneuvers". Castle smirked.
She looked at him and smiled, "Shut Up".
They went back to what they were doing. They had always been comfortable in their silence. Being together was all that they needed. Castle noticed his wife was running her hands up and down his arm. After they had gotten engaged years ago, he noticed she was really a big cuddler and toucher, which had surprised him, but since the incident 4 years ago it had gotten much more noticeable. Rick thought back in his head to that day.
4 years ago, Castle and Kate had been in the kitchen. She had a rare day off from work, the kids were in school, so it was just them. When all of a sudden, he had started to clutch his chest. He had yelled out to Kate, and she started calling 911. Kate was in tears as they had wheeled him into the hospital. They had found out that he just had a major panic attack due to high levels of stress. Gina and Paula had swamped him in Book tours, and Book signings, plus were pushing him about his next novel, and it had just been too much.
When they got home Kate had gone into a tirade. "Rick" she yelled, "Give me your phone. I'm taking over management of your dealings with Black Pawn and Paula from now on and I don't want to hear a single argument from you about this", as she pointed a finger at him, "Dammit Rick, your just too nice for your own good, you don't know when to say no. This Fucking stops today, Rick, do you hear me. No More"!
Castle sheepishly had handed his phone over to her and said, "Sorry honey".
"Oh Baby, I'm not mad at you, I just want my husband to not be bullied". She then grabbed his phone and stalked off into his office. He listened in from the outside.
Kate had lit into Gina and Paula from the get-go, "Do you know what? Rick and I just came back from the ER, because we thought he was having a heart attack. It ended up having a massive panic attack, due to the stress he's been under trying to keep up with this fucked up schedule that you've both been trying to ram down his throat. I'm here to tell you that this shit is going to end now. From this point going forward, I will be handling all of Rick's obligations, and let me tell you this, we are going to be cutting waaayyyy back on everything!
Rick had heard his ex-wife Gina start to yell back at Kate, but Kate shut her down right away. "Gina, one more word from you, and Rick and I will start looking at over the dozens of prominent Publishing houses that have offers for him to come over to them. His graphic novels, children's books, serious Literature, and the occasional Nikki Heat books have him at the top of authors in the fucking world. We don't need either of you anymore. Rick continues to be loyal to Black Pawn because they gave him his start, but I don't share that loyalty. Are both of you fucking hearing me? I want my husband with me forever, and I will no longer allow you two to use his kindhearted nature against him anymore. Paula, send me a revised schedule that reflects a much lighter load, Rick and I will go thru them, and then you will get what we think is fair. It will be non-negotiable, you don't like it, then that's fine by us, because I will make both of you, yesterday's news. The days of you using my husband as your personal gravy train are over, and Gina listen to me well, if you try to go behind my back and try to contact Rick on your own, I will fucking bury you... Now, I need to hear that you both understand".
Paula said, "Kate I'm so sorry, I didn't know that Ricky was struggling with the schedule, I always think of him a machine. Tell Ricky I'm sorry, and hope he feels better. I'll get on that new schedule right away"?
Kate barked out "Gina I'm not hearing anything from you". Rick heard silence for what seemed forever, and then he heard his ex-wife yell back, "Fine", and then she hung up.
He remembered Kate running off to their bedroom and finding her in their bed crying. As he got in bed with her and held her tight, she buried her face in his chest and said, "I can't be without you Babe... I Can't... I just Can't." He remembers telling her, trying to get her to smile, "Hey honey nice use of the Senator Bracken quote when you saved his life... I'll fucking bury you... that's a classic!
Kate had chuckled thru a sob, "Well that douchebag was at least good for something".
He then assured her that he was going nowhere, and that they would have their always. After that incident and all the free time that opened due to Kate managing his time, he had got back into the gym and started working out again. He had built up some muscle and had lost 20 pounds. Kate told him how proud she was of him and noticed how she liked to fondle his biceps even more then she usually did.
A couple of months ago she told him that she was putting in her 30 and was going to retire from the force. She told him that she wanted to spend more time with him and the kids. He knew his wife; she was probably thinking that time was slipping away from them and wanted to make their moments count. It's not like that thought hadn't occurred to him too. Castle broke from his reverie, as he heard of in the distance, "Babe, are you even listening to me? Rick...Rick".
He turned to look at his wife, "Sorry honey, I'm sorry, I went off into la la land again".
Kate smiled and said, "So, where did you go this time in that amazing brain of yours? Good thoughts?"
"Honey, when I think of you their always good thoughts." he replied.
"I love you too, you big sap. Anyway, I was thinking about just you and I going on a vacation. For maybe 3 weeks. I've already looked into it, and I think that everything will line up. I called downtown, and 1PP said that Javy could take over as captain while I'm gone, it will give him some experience for when I retire, and he takes over. Alexis and David (her husband of 5 years) said that they were thinking of going to the Hamptons for the summer, so they could watch the boys along with Lanie. You know Lanie, any excuse to stay in the Hamptons with the boys, plus Lilly told me of a summer program starting at Columbia that was promoting classes for advanced kids that want to learn languages especially Russian, and she asked if she could go."
"Will there be boys there, I worry about Flower on her own"? Castle asked.
Kate smiled at him calling his daughter, Flower. He had called his daughter Little Flower since she was a baby. Kate had actually asked Lilly if she wanted her Dad, to stop calling her Flower, and she was taken back, at how panicked her daughter had gotten. Lilly had started to cry, and said, "No, Mom, don't say anything to Daddy, I love that he calls me Flower. He can call me that forever". Kate, had to calm her down and reassure her that she would say nothing.
"Babe, flower will be fine. I'll have Javy run a background check, on everyone involved, but she's going be fine. (Rick still had the occasional nightmare from when Alexis was kidnapped, so she had to walk a fine line when broaching Columbia). "Look Rick she's growing up; she needs to have the reigns loosened a little and see that we can trust her.
Castle turned his head to her, and she saw that he was fighting back tears. "I just need to know that she's safe Kate. I couldn't bear anything happening to her. We'll all sit down and look at the program tomorrow, and I promise if all goes well on the background check that she can go. Okay"?
"Okay Babe, but you need to have an open mind on this. Take it from a someone that knows what it's like to be a teenage girl. You hold the reigns to tight; they start to feel strangled. Remember how you and Alexis went back and forth when you were trying to hold on to tight? If the background check comes out clean you need to let her go.
Castle sighed, and said, "Okay honey she can go, I don't want to hurt her feelings, but it won't make me worry less. I want daily phone calls from her. No exceptions".
Kate knew that Lilly was a Daddy's girl, and that he was very protective of her much like he was of Alexis. Kate always knew he would be an amazing father but watching him over the years had simply amazed her. The kids adored him, he was so attentive and loving, plus his world of imagination captured them from when they were little. Royce, wanted to be a writer since he was 7, and he wrote every chance he got. Castle told him how proud of him he was as he did with all the kids. James, (Royce's twin brother) was more like her, constantly getting into scraps trying to protect other kids from bullies. Kate had already started to work with him on the speed bag, and Rick always told James that he would-be a kickass cop just like his mother. Castle would spin stories of their exploits, making them so spectacular then even though she had lived threw them, she was still riveted in the way he had spun their tales. The kids always gasped at just what their parents had been thru before they were born. Castle and Kate had decided a long time ago that they would try as best they could to never tell them of just how close they had been to death so many times as partners, though Castle told her it was just a matter of time until they find out, considering how much of their exploits had made local and national news, so they always prepared for that day.
Kate still to this day berated herself for those early years when she had pushed him away, she knew how much she had hurt him at times. He had become the light to her darkness, and she realized that every year that she had kept him at arm's length was a year that she could never get back being so helplessly in love with him.
Changing the subject Kate said to Rick, " Rick we need a vacation, I want just you and me to get away, you know I love our kids, but I miss my husband. I need this to happen Babe, I need alone time with you. I want it to just be us. Talk about anything we want, do anything we want, and know that there will be no interruptions".
"Honey", he replied, "You don't have to sell me on this, I'm all in. I even have an idea. Remember the year of our engagement when I told you about a college friend that turned into a billionaire by the age of 30 and bought his own island"?
Kate got excited and said, "Yeah...yeah, I remember saying that we should invite him to the wedding.
"Well, I just happen to know that he doesn't stay there anymore but he rents out the place for friends. It's a beautiful bungalow with all the amenities. They ship in food by boat, every 4 days. You can request scuba gear, jet skis, whatever, and they will be waiting for you when you get there. Plenty of booze to make tropical drinks, and the best part is that you hardly need any clothes, because it's a secluded Island. You can go naked, or bring just your thong, or bikini, but the point is that you can pack light. For emergencies their just 30 minutes away by boat. Just to let you know however, if you just wear your bikini underwear, I will have to confiscate them and turn into the Frito Bandito".
"You'll have to catch me first hot shot... Rick, do you think that you can find out tomorrow, to see if its available"?
"First thing in the morning honey", he winked.
A little while later Kate had fallen silent. Castle looked over at his wife and saw her fisting her hands in the sheets, she did that when she was broaching a subject that she felt insecure about. "What's going on in that gorgeous mind of yours honey".
Kate starred down at the sheets and whispered. "Do you still think I'm beautiful Babe? I was looking in the mirror this morning, and I just felt so ugly, I've got all these stretch marks, bullet scars, knife wounds and I've probably put on 10 pounds of baby fat that I can't get off. I look in the mirror sometimes and think why you still want me sometimes.
Castle put his computer away, and he rolled over to face his wife. 'Katherine Castle, I can't believe what just came out of your mouth", he ran his hands under her Green Lantern night shirt pulling it all the way up to her stomach, then proceeded to plant light butterfly kisses all over her stretch marks. Kate looked down, mesmerized at what her husband was doing. Castle rose up and pulled Kate's chin up to look into her eyes. Those eyes that he fell into from the moment he first met her.
"Honey, do you know how amazing and beautiful you are to me"? Kate's eyes misted over. "Kate", he said, "These marks show the strength and determination of my warrior woman, who gave birth to our 3 wonderful children and when doctors warned you that twins at 42 would be too great a risk, you told them to shove it up their asses, and you fought and fought to bring them into this world. Your bullets scars are our history of fighting for justice, and your determination to face down all the evil in this world... Remember the banquet we went to a few months ago"? Kate with tears in her eyes nodded. Castle continued, "Everywhere we went that night I watched as every man turned to look at you as you were clearly the most beautiful woman in the whole place. I wrapped my arms around you to let one and all know that you were mine. I'm still amazed even after all these years what I did to deserve such a strong, independent, loving mother and wife as yourself. I will always be grateful for the day that you became mine, and I always find you stunning. You take my breath away sometimes.
As her husband wiped the tears from her eyes she smiled and said, "Babe if I'd known what I know now I would have let you debrief me, when I first met you".
Rick chuckled and said, "And I would have still had no idea, and don't think for one second you were fooling anyone when you walked away from me down that alley, putting a major swing to those beautiful hips of yours, I knew what you were doing".
She smiled at looked at him under those long lashes, "I might have put a little more oomph into my walk. I could already tell that you were an ass man".
Kate rolled over and placed her head on her husband's chest. They went to bed almost always like that every night. Castle ran his hands thru her hair. As Kate slipped off to dream world, she mumbled, "Don't forget to call your billionaire friend tomorrow Rick", and then she followed that up with, "Love you Always Baby".
"Me too honey...Me Too. You are my dream come true. Until tomorrow honey".
"Night Babe", she mumbled.
Castle smiled remembering the day that Kate asked why he couldn't just say goodnight. He had replied, "Goodnight is boring, until tomorrow was more... hopeful", and she had said, "Well I'm just a cop Castle so... night". He smiled at that memory and thought to himself how he still occasionally had to pinch himself when he looked at his amazing children and the love of his life. He told Kate once that his dreams do come true. He looked at his wife, her head on his chest sleeping and he thought that he was the luckiest man in the world. He smiled as he fell asleep knowing that he would soon see her again... in his dreams.
Hope you liked!
Thinking of doing a sequel to this, where the kids find newspaper clipping of Casketts exploits and want to know more.
2024.05.11 04:54 shaneka69 Chrisean Rock Numerology Report
Chrisean Rock Numerology Report
This Numerology report will be for Chrisean Rock who was born in Baltimore Maryland and who is a star based on her connection to Blueface and Natalie Nunn's Baddies show on Zeus Network.Chrisean's Numerology Report will be a decoding all from her name, not her birthday. Her birthday is one thing that can't ever change in her lifetime so that energy is fixed and general.
Chrisean's full name is "Chrisean Eugenia Malone". I will first decode her first name separately as it's the most significant energy and then I will do a full name decode as well.
Let's start breaking down her name.
C - This is the third letter of the alphabet which gives it the energy of 3 and 3 energy could be very social or creative. This can also give someone a child like impression or there could be something about them that is very jolly or it reminds you of a child sometimes. This can make them come off approachable at times as well. Names that start with this letter, it makes three and the letter C the most significant energy. This shows how Chrisean and anyone else who has a name that starts with this letter approaches the world and people around them in a very curious manner. These people wake up every day waiting to explore and seeing what they can learn or find out for that day.
H - H is connected to energy that has pressure but this is also connected to ambition as well. This could be why Chrisean has a lot of ambition and the capability of mastering something in her lifetime which also fits well with the number 9 which is connected to her R and I letters.
R - This letter vibrates at the number 9 even though it is the 18th letter and this gives someone the capability of mastering themselves or mastering something physical or amazing. This also gives them strong, ambitious energy as well and we can see that she has a very fit body and into sports, plus she has an Aries Mars.
I - This is the 9th letter of the alphabet which makes someone very adventurous by nature and they have the capability of being quick to take action. This is very spontaneous energy so when people have this letter in their name, they can definitely shock people a lot. This also contributes to someone being a traveler of some sort so people with this letter in their name, especially more than once can indicate someone that is likely going to be taking trips or flying planes. They basically will get out of their hometown even if they return to it, but they will know what another country and city looks like for sure.
S - Being the 19th letter of the alphabet gives this letter the energy of one, but it is the energy of empowerment right from within and this could be someone that wants to do their own thing as well. These people could be impulsive or they know how to take initiative, especially when something has really motivated them or sparked their interests.
E - This is the 5th letter of the alphabet which gives someone the energy of creativity and this can also make someone visually appealing or they could have some type of creative skill. This also contributes to the energy of complexity, but she only has this once so it's not too complex, at least not from this letter. This letter gives her a fighting power or a fighting spirit so she is capable of utilizing her natural strength to overcome difficulty.
A - This is the first letter of the alphabet which contributes to independence and action.
N - This is the 14th letter of the alphabet which vibrates at the energy 5 just like E, but a matured version. This adds onto her capability of overcoming difficulty and also being creative or making something tangible from her creativity.
Looking into her full name, she has a Destiny Number 1, soul urge 5, and personality #5.
5 is the number connected to romance, children, war, and unpredictability which is definitely fitting as she always shocked people with her actions and how combative she is, but she is pretty aware as well.
Based on her #1 Destiny number, She is meant to come into her personal power and experience some ease, but this 1 energy may also contribute to her child-like actions as well. She is wise, although the 1 energy is connected to new spirit type of energy. The fact that she has this matches with her strong Aries Mars influence. The 1 destiny number also is why she takes things personal to a fault.
Her having a 5 soul urge gives her natural fighting powespirit. This also connects to her romantic nature and how she always wanted Blueface to please her or she put their romantic life on blast, but not for attention, just from a natural place.
If you liked this report, you can support me at $astroneek
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2024.05.08 23:09 kthnxbi_bi_bi Just finished it!
So I finally watched the whole show all the way through and I have some thoughts that I wanted to share somewhere.
May contain spoilers:
First off, I really enjoyed it. Thought it was a great show and loved the dynamic between the characters.
Loved how it started out with Betty and her family and then slowly other people joined. Like when Daniel obviously became fond of them and Marc became someone who Justin could go to about stuff and when Amanda and Betty lived together (I really liked that tbh).
Loved how the characters grew throughout the show but were still a bit who they were when we first met them (e.g. Wilhelmina was still scheming but had made peace with Claire and Daniel, Marc and Amanda becoming friends with Betty but still poking fun at her but Betty is also giving it back to them).
I was so glad that Amanda got to find out who her birth father was and loved that they were so similar.
But:
Does anyone else think that season 4 kind was kind of a mess?
The cult storyline was kind of pointless since it was only for a few episodes and didn’t really end up anywhere.
Tyler appears but again, nothing really ended up anywhere (kind of like in Gossip Girl when Rufus and Lily’s kid turns up and then leaves and we never see him again).
Bobby is there then suddenly Hilda is marrying him and calling him her best friend at her wedding when all we know is that they dated for a bit before she was pregnant with Justin.
The Elena storyline was awful. Try not fall in love with your patients but if you do either quit then do something about it, or stay and do nothing about it.
Other thoughts:
Kinda sad that Alexis didn’t come back.
Henry shouldn’t have existed after we found out he had a girlfriend.
Betty and Matt shouldn’t have stayed together when she realised that he didn’t stick with one thing for too long because they clearly weren’t compatible.
I do wish that Daniel and Betty had got together but I also like their ending because I do love them as friends but I also think that they cared so much about each other and do love each other.
submitted by kthnxbi_bi_bi to UglyBetty [link] [comments]
May contain spoilers:
First off, I really enjoyed it. Thought it was a great show and loved the dynamic between the characters.
Loved how it started out with Betty and her family and then slowly other people joined. Like when Daniel obviously became fond of them and Marc became someone who Justin could go to about stuff and when Amanda and Betty lived together (I really liked that tbh).
Loved how the characters grew throughout the show but were still a bit who they were when we first met them (e.g. Wilhelmina was still scheming but had made peace with Claire and Daniel, Marc and Amanda becoming friends with Betty but still poking fun at her but Betty is also giving it back to them).
I was so glad that Amanda got to find out who her birth father was and loved that they were so similar.
But:
Does anyone else think that season 4 kind was kind of a mess?
The cult storyline was kind of pointless since it was only for a few episodes and didn’t really end up anywhere.
Tyler appears but again, nothing really ended up anywhere (kind of like in Gossip Girl when Rufus and Lily’s kid turns up and then leaves and we never see him again).
Bobby is there then suddenly Hilda is marrying him and calling him her best friend at her wedding when all we know is that they dated for a bit before she was pregnant with Justin.
The Elena storyline was awful. Try not fall in love with your patients but if you do either quit then do something about it, or stay and do nothing about it.
Other thoughts:
Kinda sad that Alexis didn’t come back.
Henry shouldn’t have existed after we found out he had a girlfriend.
Betty and Matt shouldn’t have stayed together when she realised that he didn’t stick with one thing for too long because they clearly weren’t compatible.
I do wish that Daniel and Betty had got together but I also like their ending because I do love them as friends but I also think that they cared so much about each other and do love each other.
2024.05.07 15:46 IrinaSophia Saint Alexis Toth, Confessor and Defender of Orthodoxy in America (+ 1909) (May 7th)
Our holy Father Alexis, the defender of the Orthodox Faith and zealous worker in the Lord’s vineyard, was born in Austro-Hungary on March 18, 1854 into a poor Carpatho-Russian family. Like many others in the Austro-Hungarian empire, the Toths were Eastern Rite Catholics. Alexis’ father and brother were priests and his uncle was a bishop in the Uniate church. He received an excellent education and knew several languages (Carpatho-Russian, Hungarian, Russian, German, Latin, and a reading knowledge of Greek). He married Rosalie Mihalich, a priest’s daughter, and was ordained on April 18, 1878 to serve as second priest in a Uniate parish. His wife died soon afterwards, followed by their only child—losses which the saint endured with the patience of Job.
In May, 1879, Father Alexis was appointed secretary to the Bishop of Presov and also Administrator of the Diocesan Administration. He was also entrusted with the directorship of an orphanage. At Presov Seminary, Father Toth taught Church History and Canon Law, which served him well in his later life in America. Saint Alexis did not serve long as a professor or an administrator, for the Lord had a different future planned for him. In October, 1889 he was appointed to serve as pastor of a Uniate parish in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like another Abraham, he left his country and his relatives to fulfill the will of God (Gen 12:1).
Upon his arrival in America, Father Alexis presented himself to the local Roman Catholic diocesan authority, Archbishop John Ireland, since there was no Uniate bishop in America at that time. Archbishop Ireland belonged to the party of American Catholics who favored the “Americanization” of all Roman Catholics. His vision for the future was founded on a common faith, customs, and the use of the English language for everything except liturgical celebrations. Naturally, ethnic parishes and non-Latin rite clergy did not fit into this vision. Thus, when Father Toth came to present his credentials, Archbishop Ireland greeted him with open hostility. He refused to recognize him as a legitimate Catholic priest or to grant permission for him to serve in his diocese.
As a historian and professor of Canon Law, Father Toth knew his rights under the terms of the Unia and would not accept Archbishop Ireland’s unjust decisions. In October of 1890, there was a meeting of eight of the ten Uniate priests in America at Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania under the chairmanship of Father Toth. By this time the American bishops had written to Rome demanding the recall to Europe of all Uniate priests in America, fearing that Uniate priests and parishes would hinder the assimilation of immigrants into American culture. Uniate bishops in Europe refused to listen to the priests’ pleas for help.
Archbishop Ireland sent a letter to his parishes ordering their members not to attend Father Toth’s parish nor to accept any priestly ministrations from him. Expecting imminent deportation, Father Toth explained the situation to his parishioners and suggested it might be best for him to leave and return to Europe.
“No,” they said. “Let’s go to the Russian bishop. Why should we always submit ourselves to foreigners?” It was decided to write to the Russian consul in San Francisco in order to ask for the name and address of the Russian bishop. Ivan Mlinar went to San Francisco to make initial contact with Bishop Vladimir; then in February, 1891 Father Toth and his church warden, Paul Podany, also made the journey. Subsequently, Bishop Vladimir came to Minneapolis and on March 25, 1891 received Father Toth and 361 parishioners into the Orthodox Church of their ancestors. The parishioners regarded this event as a new Triumph of Orthodoxy, crying out with joy: “Glory to God for His great mercy!”
This initiative came from the people themselves, and was not the result of any coercion from outsiders. The Russian Orthodox Church was unaware of the existence of these Slavic Uniate immigrants to America, but responded positively to their petition to be reunited to the Orthodox Church.
The example of Saint Alexis and his parish in returning to Orthodoxy was an encouragement to hundreds of other Uniates. The ever-memorable one was like a candle upon a candlestick giving light to others (Mt.5:15), and his flock may be likened to the leaven mixed with meal which leavened the whole (Mt.13:33). Through his fearless preaching he uprooted the tares which had sprung up in the wheat of true doctrine, and exposed the false teachings which had led his people astray. Although he did not hesitate to point out errors in the doctrines of other denominations, he was careful to warn his flock against intolerance. His writings and sermons are filled with admonitions to respect other people and to refrain from attacking their faith.
While it is true that he made some strong comments, especially in his private correspondence with the church administration, it must be remembered that this was done while defending the Orthodox Church and the American Mission from unfounded accusations by people who used much harsher language than Father Toth. His opponents may be characterized by intolerance, rude behaviour, unethical methods and threats against him and his parishioners. Yet, when Father Alexis was offended or deceived by other people he forgave them, and he would often ask his bishop to forgive his omissions and mistakes.
In the midst of great hardships, this herald of godly theology and sound doctrine poured forth an inexhaustible stream of Orthodox writings for new converts, and gave practical advice on how to live in an Orthodox manner. For example, his article “How We should Live in America” stresses the importance of education, cleanliness, sobriety, and the presence of children in church on Sundays and Holy Days.
Although the Minneapolis parish was received into the Orthodox Church in March, 1891, it was not until July, 1892 that the Holy Synod of Russia recognized and accepted the parish into the Diocese of Alaska and the Aleutians. This resolution reached America only in October, 1892. During that time there was a climate of religious and ethnic hostility against the new converts. Father Alexis was accused of selling out his own Carpatho-Russian people and his religion to the “Muscovites” for financial gain.
In reality he did not receive any financial support for a long time, for his parish was very poor. Until his priestly salary began to arrive from Russia, the righteous one was obliged to work in a bakery in order to support himself. Even though his funds were meager, he did not neglect to give alms to the poor and needy. He shared his money with other clergy worse off than himself, and contributed to the building of churches and to the education of seminarians in Minneapolis. He was not anxious about his life (Mt.6:25), what he would eat or drink or wear. Trusting in God to take care of him, Saint Alexis followed the admonition of Our Savior to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Mt.6:33). So he bore the tribulation, slander, and physical attacks with patience and spiritual joy, reminding us that “godliness is stronger than all” (Wisdom of Solomon 10:12).
Bishops Vladimir, Nicholas, Saint Tikhon, and Platon recognized the special gifts of Father Toth, so they often sent him forth to preach and teach wherever there were people of Slavic background. Even though he was aware of his shortcomings and inadequacies, yet he was obedient to the instructions of the bishops. He did not hesitate or make excuses, but went immediately to fulfill his mission. Saint Alexis visited many Uniate parishes, explaining the differences between Orthodoxy, Protestantism, Roman Catholicism and Uniatism, stressing that the true way to salvation is in Orthodoxy.
Like Josiah, “he behaved himself uprightly in the conversion of his people” (Sir 49:2). He was instrumental in the formation or return of seventeen parishes, planting a vineyard of Christ in America, and increasing its fruitful yield many times over. By 1909, the time of his blessed repose, many thousands of Carpatho-Russian and Galician Uniates had returned to Orthodoxy. This was a major event in the history of the North American Mission, which would continue to shape the future of Orthodoxy in this country for many generations to come. Any future growth or success may truly be regarded as the result of Father Toth’s apostolic labors.
Who can tell of the saint’s spiritual struggles? Who can speak of the prayers which his pious soul poured forth unto God? He did not make a public display of his piety, but prayed to God in secret with all modesty, with contrition and inward tears. God, Who sees everything done in secret, openly rewarded the saint (Mt.6:6). It is inconceivable that Saint Alexis could have accomplished his apostolic labors unless God had blessed and strengthened him for such work. Today the Church continues to reap the fruits of his teaching and preaching.
Father Toth’s efforts did not go unrecognized in his own lifetime. He received a jeweled miter from the Holy Synod, as well as the Order of Saint Vladimir and the Order of Saint Anna from Czar Nicholas II for distinguished service and devotion to God and country. In 1907, he was considered as a candidate for the episcopal office. He declined this honor, however, humbly pointing out that this responsibility should be given to a younger, healthier man.
At the end of 1908, Saint Alexis’ health began to decline due to a complication of illneses. He went to the seashore in southern New Jersey in an attempt to regain his health, but soon returned to Wilkes-Barre, where he was confined to bed for two months. The righteous one reposed on Friday, May 7, 1909 (April 24 on the Old Calendar), the feast of Saints Savva and Alexius the Hermit of the Kiev Caves. Saint Alexis’ love and concern for his spiritual children did not cease with his death. Before closing the account of his life, it would be most appropriate to reveal but one example of his heavenly intercession:
In January, 1993 a certain man prayed to Saint Alexis to help him obtain information about his son from whom he had been separated for twenty-eight years. Placing his confidence in the saint’s boldness before God, he awaited an answer to his prayer. The very next day the man’s son telephoned him. It seems the young man was in church when he was suddenly filled with an overwhelming desire to contact his father. He had been taken to another state by his mother, and she changed his name when he was a child. This is why his father was unable to locate him. Having learned from his mother that his father was an Orthodox Christian, he was able with the help of an Orthodox priest to obtain his father’s phone number in a distant city. As a result of that telephone call, the young man later visited his father, who rejoiced to see what sort of man his son had become. The father gave thanks to God and to Saint Alexis for reuniting him with his son.
Saint Alexis was a true man of God who guided many Carpatho-Russian and Galician immigrants through the dark confusion of religious challenges in the New World and back to the unity of the Orthodox Church through his grace-filled words and by his holy example. In his last will and testament Saint Alexis commended his soul to God’s mercy, asking forgiveness from everyone and forgiving everybody. His holy relics now rest at Saint Tikhon Monastery in South Canaan, Pennsylvania where the faithful may come to venerate them and to entreat Saint Alexis’ intercessions on their behalf.
(from oca.org)
submitted by IrinaSophia to OrthodoxChristianity [link] [comments]
In May, 1879, Father Alexis was appointed secretary to the Bishop of Presov and also Administrator of the Diocesan Administration. He was also entrusted with the directorship of an orphanage. At Presov Seminary, Father Toth taught Church History and Canon Law, which served him well in his later life in America. Saint Alexis did not serve long as a professor or an administrator, for the Lord had a different future planned for him. In October, 1889 he was appointed to serve as pastor of a Uniate parish in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like another Abraham, he left his country and his relatives to fulfill the will of God (Gen 12:1).
Upon his arrival in America, Father Alexis presented himself to the local Roman Catholic diocesan authority, Archbishop John Ireland, since there was no Uniate bishop in America at that time. Archbishop Ireland belonged to the party of American Catholics who favored the “Americanization” of all Roman Catholics. His vision for the future was founded on a common faith, customs, and the use of the English language for everything except liturgical celebrations. Naturally, ethnic parishes and non-Latin rite clergy did not fit into this vision. Thus, when Father Toth came to present his credentials, Archbishop Ireland greeted him with open hostility. He refused to recognize him as a legitimate Catholic priest or to grant permission for him to serve in his diocese.
As a historian and professor of Canon Law, Father Toth knew his rights under the terms of the Unia and would not accept Archbishop Ireland’s unjust decisions. In October of 1890, there was a meeting of eight of the ten Uniate priests in America at Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania under the chairmanship of Father Toth. By this time the American bishops had written to Rome demanding the recall to Europe of all Uniate priests in America, fearing that Uniate priests and parishes would hinder the assimilation of immigrants into American culture. Uniate bishops in Europe refused to listen to the priests’ pleas for help.
Archbishop Ireland sent a letter to his parishes ordering their members not to attend Father Toth’s parish nor to accept any priestly ministrations from him. Expecting imminent deportation, Father Toth explained the situation to his parishioners and suggested it might be best for him to leave and return to Europe.
“No,” they said. “Let’s go to the Russian bishop. Why should we always submit ourselves to foreigners?” It was decided to write to the Russian consul in San Francisco in order to ask for the name and address of the Russian bishop. Ivan Mlinar went to San Francisco to make initial contact with Bishop Vladimir; then in February, 1891 Father Toth and his church warden, Paul Podany, also made the journey. Subsequently, Bishop Vladimir came to Minneapolis and on March 25, 1891 received Father Toth and 361 parishioners into the Orthodox Church of their ancestors. The parishioners regarded this event as a new Triumph of Orthodoxy, crying out with joy: “Glory to God for His great mercy!”
This initiative came from the people themselves, and was not the result of any coercion from outsiders. The Russian Orthodox Church was unaware of the existence of these Slavic Uniate immigrants to America, but responded positively to their petition to be reunited to the Orthodox Church.
The example of Saint Alexis and his parish in returning to Orthodoxy was an encouragement to hundreds of other Uniates. The ever-memorable one was like a candle upon a candlestick giving light to others (Mt.5:15), and his flock may be likened to the leaven mixed with meal which leavened the whole (Mt.13:33). Through his fearless preaching he uprooted the tares which had sprung up in the wheat of true doctrine, and exposed the false teachings which had led his people astray. Although he did not hesitate to point out errors in the doctrines of other denominations, he was careful to warn his flock against intolerance. His writings and sermons are filled with admonitions to respect other people and to refrain from attacking their faith.
While it is true that he made some strong comments, especially in his private correspondence with the church administration, it must be remembered that this was done while defending the Orthodox Church and the American Mission from unfounded accusations by people who used much harsher language than Father Toth. His opponents may be characterized by intolerance, rude behaviour, unethical methods and threats against him and his parishioners. Yet, when Father Alexis was offended or deceived by other people he forgave them, and he would often ask his bishop to forgive his omissions and mistakes.
In the midst of great hardships, this herald of godly theology and sound doctrine poured forth an inexhaustible stream of Orthodox writings for new converts, and gave practical advice on how to live in an Orthodox manner. For example, his article “How We should Live in America” stresses the importance of education, cleanliness, sobriety, and the presence of children in church on Sundays and Holy Days.
Although the Minneapolis parish was received into the Orthodox Church in March, 1891, it was not until July, 1892 that the Holy Synod of Russia recognized and accepted the parish into the Diocese of Alaska and the Aleutians. This resolution reached America only in October, 1892. During that time there was a climate of religious and ethnic hostility against the new converts. Father Alexis was accused of selling out his own Carpatho-Russian people and his religion to the “Muscovites” for financial gain.
In reality he did not receive any financial support for a long time, for his parish was very poor. Until his priestly salary began to arrive from Russia, the righteous one was obliged to work in a bakery in order to support himself. Even though his funds were meager, he did not neglect to give alms to the poor and needy. He shared his money with other clergy worse off than himself, and contributed to the building of churches and to the education of seminarians in Minneapolis. He was not anxious about his life (Mt.6:25), what he would eat or drink or wear. Trusting in God to take care of him, Saint Alexis followed the admonition of Our Savior to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Mt.6:33). So he bore the tribulation, slander, and physical attacks with patience and spiritual joy, reminding us that “godliness is stronger than all” (Wisdom of Solomon 10:12).
Bishops Vladimir, Nicholas, Saint Tikhon, and Platon recognized the special gifts of Father Toth, so they often sent him forth to preach and teach wherever there were people of Slavic background. Even though he was aware of his shortcomings and inadequacies, yet he was obedient to the instructions of the bishops. He did not hesitate or make excuses, but went immediately to fulfill his mission. Saint Alexis visited many Uniate parishes, explaining the differences between Orthodoxy, Protestantism, Roman Catholicism and Uniatism, stressing that the true way to salvation is in Orthodoxy.
Like Josiah, “he behaved himself uprightly in the conversion of his people” (Sir 49:2). He was instrumental in the formation or return of seventeen parishes, planting a vineyard of Christ in America, and increasing its fruitful yield many times over. By 1909, the time of his blessed repose, many thousands of Carpatho-Russian and Galician Uniates had returned to Orthodoxy. This was a major event in the history of the North American Mission, which would continue to shape the future of Orthodoxy in this country for many generations to come. Any future growth or success may truly be regarded as the result of Father Toth’s apostolic labors.
Who can tell of the saint’s spiritual struggles? Who can speak of the prayers which his pious soul poured forth unto God? He did not make a public display of his piety, but prayed to God in secret with all modesty, with contrition and inward tears. God, Who sees everything done in secret, openly rewarded the saint (Mt.6:6). It is inconceivable that Saint Alexis could have accomplished his apostolic labors unless God had blessed and strengthened him for such work. Today the Church continues to reap the fruits of his teaching and preaching.
Father Toth’s efforts did not go unrecognized in his own lifetime. He received a jeweled miter from the Holy Synod, as well as the Order of Saint Vladimir and the Order of Saint Anna from Czar Nicholas II for distinguished service and devotion to God and country. In 1907, he was considered as a candidate for the episcopal office. He declined this honor, however, humbly pointing out that this responsibility should be given to a younger, healthier man.
At the end of 1908, Saint Alexis’ health began to decline due to a complication of illneses. He went to the seashore in southern New Jersey in an attempt to regain his health, but soon returned to Wilkes-Barre, where he was confined to bed for two months. The righteous one reposed on Friday, May 7, 1909 (April 24 on the Old Calendar), the feast of Saints Savva and Alexius the Hermit of the Kiev Caves. Saint Alexis’ love and concern for his spiritual children did not cease with his death. Before closing the account of his life, it would be most appropriate to reveal but one example of his heavenly intercession:
In January, 1993 a certain man prayed to Saint Alexis to help him obtain information about his son from whom he had been separated for twenty-eight years. Placing his confidence in the saint’s boldness before God, he awaited an answer to his prayer. The very next day the man’s son telephoned him. It seems the young man was in church when he was suddenly filled with an overwhelming desire to contact his father. He had been taken to another state by his mother, and she changed his name when he was a child. This is why his father was unable to locate him. Having learned from his mother that his father was an Orthodox Christian, he was able with the help of an Orthodox priest to obtain his father’s phone number in a distant city. As a result of that telephone call, the young man later visited his father, who rejoiced to see what sort of man his son had become. The father gave thanks to God and to Saint Alexis for reuniting him with his son.
Saint Alexis was a true man of God who guided many Carpatho-Russian and Galician immigrants through the dark confusion of religious challenges in the New World and back to the unity of the Orthodox Church through his grace-filled words and by his holy example. In his last will and testament Saint Alexis commended his soul to God’s mercy, asking forgiveness from everyone and forgiving everybody. His holy relics now rest at Saint Tikhon Monastery in South Canaan, Pennsylvania where the faithful may come to venerate them and to entreat Saint Alexis’ intercessions on their behalf.
(from oca.org)
2024.05.07 15:12 IrinaSophia Saint Alexis Toth, Confessor and Defender of Orthodoxy in America (+ 1909) (May 7th)
Our holy Father Alexis, the defender of the Orthodox Faith and zealous worker in the Lord’s vineyard, was born in Austro-Hungary on March 18, 1854 into a poor Carpatho-Russian family. Like many others in the Austro-Hungarian empire, the Toths were Eastern Rite Catholics. Alexis’ father and brother were priests and his uncle was a bishop in the Uniate church. He received an excellent education and knew several languages (Carpatho-Russian, Hungarian, Russian, German, Latin, and a reading knowledge of Greek). He married Rosalie Mihalich, a priest’s daughter, and was ordained on April 18, 1878 to serve as second priest in a Uniate parish. His wife died soon afterwards, followed by their only child—losses which the saint endured with the patience of Job.
In May, 1879, Father Alexis was appointed secretary to the Bishop of Presov and also Administrator of the Diocesan Administration. He was also entrusted with the directorship of an orphanage. At Presov Seminary, Father Toth taught Church History and Canon Law, which served him well in his later life in America. Saint Alexis did not serve long as a professor or an administrator, for the Lord had a different future planned for him. In October, 1889 he was appointed to serve as pastor of a Uniate parish in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like another Abraham, he left his country and his relatives to fulfill the will of God (Gen 12:1).
Upon his arrival in America, Father Alexis presented himself to the local Roman Catholic diocesan authority, Archbishop John Ireland, since there was no Uniate bishop in America at that time. Archbishop Ireland belonged to the party of American Catholics who favored the “Americanization” of all Roman Catholics. His vision for the future was founded on a common faith, customs, and the use of the English language for everything except liturgical celebrations. Naturally, ethnic parishes and non-Latin rite clergy did not fit into this vision. Thus, when Father Toth came to present his credentials, Archbishop Ireland greeted him with open hostility. He refused to recognize him as a legitimate Catholic priest or to grant permission for him to serve in his diocese.
As a historian and professor of Canon Law, Father Toth knew his rights under the terms of the Unia and would not accept Archbishop Ireland’s unjust decisions. In October of 1890, there was a meeting of eight of the ten Uniate priests in America at Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania under the chairmanship of Father Toth. By this time the American bishops had written to Rome demanding the recall to Europe of all Uniate priests in America, fearing that Uniate priests and parishes would hinder the assimilation of immigrants into American culture. Uniate bishops in Europe refused to listen to the priests’ pleas for help.
Archbishop Ireland sent a letter to his parishes ordering their members not to attend Father Toth’s parish nor to accept any priestly ministrations from him. Expecting imminent deportation, Father Toth explained the situation to his parishioners and suggested it might be best for him to leave and return to Europe.
“No,” they said. “Let’s go to the Russian bishop. Why should we always submit ourselves to foreigners?” It was decided to write to the Russian consul in San Francisco in order to ask for the name and address of the Russian bishop. Ivan Mlinar went to San Francisco to make initial contact with Bishop Vladimir; then in February, 1891 Father Toth and his church warden, Paul Podany, also made the journey. Subsequently, Bishop Vladimir came to Minneapolis and on March 25, 1891 received Father Toth and 361 parishioners into the Orthodox Church of their ancestors. The parishioners regarded this event as a new Triumph of Orthodoxy, crying out with joy: “Glory to God for His great mercy!”
This initiative came from the people themselves, and was not the result of any coercion from outsiders. The Russian Orthodox Church was unaware of the existence of these Slavic Uniate immigrants to America, but responded positively to their petition to be reunited to the Orthodox Church.
The example of Saint Alexis and his parish in returning to Orthodoxy was an encouragement to hundreds of other Uniates. The ever-memorable one was like a candle upon a candlestick giving light to others (Mt.5:15), and his flock may be likened to the leaven mixed with meal which leavened the whole (Mt.13:33). Through his fearless preaching he uprooted the tares which had sprung up in the wheat of true doctrine, and exposed the false teachings which had led his people astray. Although he did not hesitate to point out errors in the doctrines of other denominations, he was careful to warn his flock against intolerance. His writings and sermons are filled with admonitions to respect other people and to refrain from attacking their faith.
While it is true that he made some strong comments, especially in his private correspondence with the church administration, it must be remembered that this was done while defending the Orthodox Church and the American Mission from unfounded accusations by people who used much harsher language than Father Toth. His opponents may be characterized by intolerance, rude behaviour, unethical methods and threats against him and his parishioners. Yet, when Father Alexis was offended or deceived by other people he forgave them, and he would often ask his bishop to forgive his omissions and mistakes.
In the midst of great hardships, this herald of godly theology and sound doctrine poured forth an inexhaustible stream of Orthodox writings for new converts, and gave practical advice on how to live in an Orthodox manner. For example, his article “How We should Live in America” stresses the importance of education, cleanliness, sobriety, and the presence of children in church on Sundays and Holy Days.
Although the Minneapolis parish was received into the Orthodox Church in March, 1891, it was not until July, 1892 that the Holy Synod of Russia recognized and accepted the parish into the Diocese of Alaska and the Aleutians. This resolution reached America only in October, 1892. During that time there was a climate of religious and ethnic hostility against the new converts. Father Alexis was accused of selling out his own Carpatho-Russian people and his religion to the “Muscovites” for financial gain.
In reality he did not receive any financial support for a long time, for his parish was very poor. Until his priestly salary began to arrive from Russia, the righteous one was obliged to work in a bakery in order to support himself. Even though his funds were meager, he did not neglect to give alms to the poor and needy. He shared his money with other clergy worse off than himself, and contributed to the building of churches and to the education of seminarians in Minneapolis. He was not anxious about his life (Mt.6:25), what he would eat or drink or wear. Trusting in God to take care of him, Saint Alexis followed the admonition of Our Savior to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Mt.6:33). So he bore the tribulation, slander, and physical attacks with patience and spiritual joy, reminding us that “godliness is stronger than all” (Wisdom of Solomon 10:12).
Bishops Vladimir, Nicholas, Saint Tikhon, and Platon recognized the special gifts of Father Toth, so they often sent him forth to preach and teach wherever there were people of Slavic background. Even though he was aware of his shortcomings and inadequacies, yet he was obedient to the instructions of the bishops. He did not hesitate or make excuses, but went immediately to fulfill his mission. Saint Alexis visited many Uniate parishes, explaining the differences between Orthodoxy, Protestantism, Roman Catholicism and Uniatism, stressing that the true way to salvation is in Orthodoxy.
Like Josiah, “he behaved himself uprightly in the conversion of his people” (Sir 49:2). He was instrumental in the formation or return of seventeen parishes, planting a vineyard of Christ in America, and increasing its fruitful yield many times over. By 1909, the time of his blessed repose, many thousands of Carpatho-Russian and Galician Uniates had returned to Orthodoxy. This was a major event in the history of the North American Mission, which would continue to shape the future of Orthodoxy in this country for many generations to come. Any future growth or success may truly be regarded as the result of Father Toth’s apostolic labors.
Who can tell of the saint’s spiritual struggles? Who can speak of the prayers which his pious soul poured forth unto God? He did not make a public display of his piety, but prayed to God in secret with all modesty, with contrition and inward tears. God, Who sees everything done in secret, openly rewarded the saint (Mt.6:6). It is inconceivable that Saint Alexis could have accomplished his apostolic labors unless God had blessed and strengthened him for such work. Today the Church continues to reap the fruits of his teaching and preaching.
Father Toth’s efforts did not go unrecognized in his own lifetime. He received a jeweled miter from the Holy Synod, as well as the Order of Saint Vladimir and the Order of Saint Anna from Czar Nicholas II for distinguished service and devotion to God and country. In 1907, he was considered as a candidate for the episcopal office. He declined this honor, however, humbly pointing out that this responsibility should be given to a younger, healthier man.
At the end of 1908, Saint Alexis’ health began to decline due to a complication of illneses. He went to the seashore in southern New Jersey in an attempt to regain his health, but soon returned to Wilkes-Barre, where he was confined to bed for two months. The righteous one reposed on Friday, May 7, 1909 (April 24 on the Old Calendar), the feast of Saints Savva and Alexius the Hermit of the Kiev Caves. Saint Alexis’ love and concern for his spiritual children did not cease with his death. Before closing the account of his life, it would be most appropriate to reveal but one example of his heavenly intercession:
In January, 1993 a certain man prayed to Saint Alexis to help him obtain information about his son from whom he had been separated for twenty-eight years. Placing his confidence in the saint’s boldness before God, he awaited an answer to his prayer. The very next day the man’s son telephoned him. It seems the young man was in church when he was suddenly filled with an overwhelming desire to contact his father. He had been taken to another state by his mother, and she changed his name when he was a child. This is why his father was unable to locate him. Having learned from his mother that his father was an Orthodox Christian, he was able with the help of an Orthodox priest to obtain his father’s phone number in a distant city. As a result of that telephone call, the young man later visited his father, who rejoiced to see what sort of man his son had become. The father gave thanks to God and to Saint Alexis for reuniting him with his son.
Saint Alexis was a true man of God who guided many Carpatho-Russian and Galician immigrants through the dark confusion of religious challenges in the New World and back to the unity of the Orthodox Church through his grace-filled words and by his holy example. In his last will and testament Saint Alexis commended his soul to God’s mercy, asking forgiveness from everyone and forgiving everybody. His holy relics now rest at Saint Tikhon Monastery in South Canaan, Pennsylvania where the faithful may come to venerate them and to entreat Saint Alexis’ intercessions on their behalf.
(from oca.org)
submitted by IrinaSophia to OrthodoxGreece [link] [comments]
In May, 1879, Father Alexis was appointed secretary to the Bishop of Presov and also Administrator of the Diocesan Administration. He was also entrusted with the directorship of an orphanage. At Presov Seminary, Father Toth taught Church History and Canon Law, which served him well in his later life in America. Saint Alexis did not serve long as a professor or an administrator, for the Lord had a different future planned for him. In October, 1889 he was appointed to serve as pastor of a Uniate parish in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like another Abraham, he left his country and his relatives to fulfill the will of God (Gen 12:1).
Upon his arrival in America, Father Alexis presented himself to the local Roman Catholic diocesan authority, Archbishop John Ireland, since there was no Uniate bishop in America at that time. Archbishop Ireland belonged to the party of American Catholics who favored the “Americanization” of all Roman Catholics. His vision for the future was founded on a common faith, customs, and the use of the English language for everything except liturgical celebrations. Naturally, ethnic parishes and non-Latin rite clergy did not fit into this vision. Thus, when Father Toth came to present his credentials, Archbishop Ireland greeted him with open hostility. He refused to recognize him as a legitimate Catholic priest or to grant permission for him to serve in his diocese.
As a historian and professor of Canon Law, Father Toth knew his rights under the terms of the Unia and would not accept Archbishop Ireland’s unjust decisions. In October of 1890, there was a meeting of eight of the ten Uniate priests in America at Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania under the chairmanship of Father Toth. By this time the American bishops had written to Rome demanding the recall to Europe of all Uniate priests in America, fearing that Uniate priests and parishes would hinder the assimilation of immigrants into American culture. Uniate bishops in Europe refused to listen to the priests’ pleas for help.
Archbishop Ireland sent a letter to his parishes ordering their members not to attend Father Toth’s parish nor to accept any priestly ministrations from him. Expecting imminent deportation, Father Toth explained the situation to his parishioners and suggested it might be best for him to leave and return to Europe.
“No,” they said. “Let’s go to the Russian bishop. Why should we always submit ourselves to foreigners?” It was decided to write to the Russian consul in San Francisco in order to ask for the name and address of the Russian bishop. Ivan Mlinar went to San Francisco to make initial contact with Bishop Vladimir; then in February, 1891 Father Toth and his church warden, Paul Podany, also made the journey. Subsequently, Bishop Vladimir came to Minneapolis and on March 25, 1891 received Father Toth and 361 parishioners into the Orthodox Church of their ancestors. The parishioners regarded this event as a new Triumph of Orthodoxy, crying out with joy: “Glory to God for His great mercy!”
This initiative came from the people themselves, and was not the result of any coercion from outsiders. The Russian Orthodox Church was unaware of the existence of these Slavic Uniate immigrants to America, but responded positively to their petition to be reunited to the Orthodox Church.
The example of Saint Alexis and his parish in returning to Orthodoxy was an encouragement to hundreds of other Uniates. The ever-memorable one was like a candle upon a candlestick giving light to others (Mt.5:15), and his flock may be likened to the leaven mixed with meal which leavened the whole (Mt.13:33). Through his fearless preaching he uprooted the tares which had sprung up in the wheat of true doctrine, and exposed the false teachings which had led his people astray. Although he did not hesitate to point out errors in the doctrines of other denominations, he was careful to warn his flock against intolerance. His writings and sermons are filled with admonitions to respect other people and to refrain from attacking their faith.
While it is true that he made some strong comments, especially in his private correspondence with the church administration, it must be remembered that this was done while defending the Orthodox Church and the American Mission from unfounded accusations by people who used much harsher language than Father Toth. His opponents may be characterized by intolerance, rude behaviour, unethical methods and threats against him and his parishioners. Yet, when Father Alexis was offended or deceived by other people he forgave them, and he would often ask his bishop to forgive his omissions and mistakes.
In the midst of great hardships, this herald of godly theology and sound doctrine poured forth an inexhaustible stream of Orthodox writings for new converts, and gave practical advice on how to live in an Orthodox manner. For example, his article “How We should Live in America” stresses the importance of education, cleanliness, sobriety, and the presence of children in church on Sundays and Holy Days.
Although the Minneapolis parish was received into the Orthodox Church in March, 1891, it was not until July, 1892 that the Holy Synod of Russia recognized and accepted the parish into the Diocese of Alaska and the Aleutians. This resolution reached America only in October, 1892. During that time there was a climate of religious and ethnic hostility against the new converts. Father Alexis was accused of selling out his own Carpatho-Russian people and his religion to the “Muscovites” for financial gain.
In reality he did not receive any financial support for a long time, for his parish was very poor. Until his priestly salary began to arrive from Russia, the righteous one was obliged to work in a bakery in order to support himself. Even though his funds were meager, he did not neglect to give alms to the poor and needy. He shared his money with other clergy worse off than himself, and contributed to the building of churches and to the education of seminarians in Minneapolis. He was not anxious about his life (Mt.6:25), what he would eat or drink or wear. Trusting in God to take care of him, Saint Alexis followed the admonition of Our Savior to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Mt.6:33). So he bore the tribulation, slander, and physical attacks with patience and spiritual joy, reminding us that “godliness is stronger than all” (Wisdom of Solomon 10:12).
Bishops Vladimir, Nicholas, Saint Tikhon, and Platon recognized the special gifts of Father Toth, so they often sent him forth to preach and teach wherever there were people of Slavic background. Even though he was aware of his shortcomings and inadequacies, yet he was obedient to the instructions of the bishops. He did not hesitate or make excuses, but went immediately to fulfill his mission. Saint Alexis visited many Uniate parishes, explaining the differences between Orthodoxy, Protestantism, Roman Catholicism and Uniatism, stressing that the true way to salvation is in Orthodoxy.
Like Josiah, “he behaved himself uprightly in the conversion of his people” (Sir 49:2). He was instrumental in the formation or return of seventeen parishes, planting a vineyard of Christ in America, and increasing its fruitful yield many times over. By 1909, the time of his blessed repose, many thousands of Carpatho-Russian and Galician Uniates had returned to Orthodoxy. This was a major event in the history of the North American Mission, which would continue to shape the future of Orthodoxy in this country for many generations to come. Any future growth or success may truly be regarded as the result of Father Toth’s apostolic labors.
Who can tell of the saint’s spiritual struggles? Who can speak of the prayers which his pious soul poured forth unto God? He did not make a public display of his piety, but prayed to God in secret with all modesty, with contrition and inward tears. God, Who sees everything done in secret, openly rewarded the saint (Mt.6:6). It is inconceivable that Saint Alexis could have accomplished his apostolic labors unless God had blessed and strengthened him for such work. Today the Church continues to reap the fruits of his teaching and preaching.
Father Toth’s efforts did not go unrecognized in his own lifetime. He received a jeweled miter from the Holy Synod, as well as the Order of Saint Vladimir and the Order of Saint Anna from Czar Nicholas II for distinguished service and devotion to God and country. In 1907, he was considered as a candidate for the episcopal office. He declined this honor, however, humbly pointing out that this responsibility should be given to a younger, healthier man.
At the end of 1908, Saint Alexis’ health began to decline due to a complication of illneses. He went to the seashore in southern New Jersey in an attempt to regain his health, but soon returned to Wilkes-Barre, where he was confined to bed for two months. The righteous one reposed on Friday, May 7, 1909 (April 24 on the Old Calendar), the feast of Saints Savva and Alexius the Hermit of the Kiev Caves. Saint Alexis’ love and concern for his spiritual children did not cease with his death. Before closing the account of his life, it would be most appropriate to reveal but one example of his heavenly intercession:
In January, 1993 a certain man prayed to Saint Alexis to help him obtain information about his son from whom he had been separated for twenty-eight years. Placing his confidence in the saint’s boldness before God, he awaited an answer to his prayer. The very next day the man’s son telephoned him. It seems the young man was in church when he was suddenly filled with an overwhelming desire to contact his father. He had been taken to another state by his mother, and she changed his name when he was a child. This is why his father was unable to locate him. Having learned from his mother that his father was an Orthodox Christian, he was able with the help of an Orthodox priest to obtain his father’s phone number in a distant city. As a result of that telephone call, the young man later visited his father, who rejoiced to see what sort of man his son had become. The father gave thanks to God and to Saint Alexis for reuniting him with his son.
Saint Alexis was a true man of God who guided many Carpatho-Russian and Galician immigrants through the dark confusion of religious challenges in the New World and back to the unity of the Orthodox Church through his grace-filled words and by his holy example. In his last will and testament Saint Alexis commended his soul to God’s mercy, asking forgiveness from everyone and forgiving everybody. His holy relics now rest at Saint Tikhon Monastery in South Canaan, Pennsylvania where the faithful may come to venerate them and to entreat Saint Alexis’ intercessions on their behalf.
(from oca.org)
2024.05.07 15:08 IrinaSophia Saint Alexis Toth, Confessor and Defender of Orthodoxy in America (+ 1909) (May 7th)
Our holy Father Alexis, the defender of the Orthodox Faith and zealous worker in the Lord’s vineyard, was born in Austro-Hungary on March 18, 1854 into a poor Carpatho-Russian family. Like many others in the Austro-Hungarian empire, the Toths were Eastern Rite Catholics. Alexis’ father and brother were priests and his uncle was a bishop in the Uniate church. He received an excellent education and knew several languages (Carpatho-Russian, Hungarian, Russian, German, Latin, and a reading knowledge of Greek). He married Rosalie Mihalich, a priest’s daughter, and was ordained on April 18, 1878 to serve as second priest in a Uniate parish. His wife died soon afterwards, followed by their only child—losses which the saint endured with the patience of Job.
In May, 1879, Father Alexis was appointed secretary to the Bishop of Presov and also Administrator of the Diocesan Administration. He was also entrusted with the directorship of an orphanage. At Presov Seminary, Father Toth taught Church History and Canon Law, which served him well in his later life in America. Saint Alexis did not serve long as a professor or an administrator, for the Lord had a different future planned for him. In October, 1889 he was appointed to serve as pastor of a Uniate parish in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like another Abraham, he left his country and his relatives to fulfill the will of God (Gen 12:1).
Upon his arrival in America, Father Alexis presented himself to the local Roman Catholic diocesan authority, Archbishop John Ireland, since there was no Uniate bishop in America at that time. Archbishop Ireland belonged to the party of American Catholics who favored the “Americanization” of all Roman Catholics. His vision for the future was founded on a common faith, customs, and the use of the English language for everything except liturgical celebrations. Naturally, ethnic parishes and non-Latin rite clergy did not fit into this vision. Thus, when Father Toth came to present his credentials, Archbishop Ireland greeted him with open hostility. He refused to recognize him as a legitimate Catholic priest or to grant permission for him to serve in his diocese.
As a historian and professor of Canon Law, Father Toth knew his rights under the terms of the Unia and would not accept Archbishop Ireland’s unjust decisions. In October of 1890, there was a meeting of eight of the ten Uniate priests in America at Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania under the chairmanship of Father Toth. By this time the American bishops had written to Rome demanding the recall to Europe of all Uniate priests in America, fearing that Uniate priests and parishes would hinder the assimilation of immigrants into American culture. Uniate bishops in Europe refused to listen to the priests’ pleas for help.
Archbishop Ireland sent a letter to his parishes ordering their members not to attend Father Toth’s parish nor to accept any priestly ministrations from him. Expecting imminent deportation, Father Toth explained the situation to his parishioners and suggested it might be best for him to leave and return to Europe.
“No,” they said. “Let’s go to the Russian bishop. Why should we always submit ourselves to foreigners?” It was decided to write to the Russian consul in San Francisco in order to ask for the name and address of the Russian bishop. Ivan Mlinar went to San Francisco to make initial contact with Bishop Vladimir; then in February, 1891 Father Toth and his church warden, Paul Podany, also made the journey. Subsequently, Bishop Vladimir came to Minneapolis and on March 25, 1891 received Father Toth and 361 parishioners into the Orthodox Church of their ancestors. The parishioners regarded this event as a new Triumph of Orthodoxy, crying out with joy: “Glory to God for His great mercy!”
This initiative came from the people themselves, and was not the result of any coercion from outsiders. The Russian Orthodox Church was unaware of the existence of these Slavic Uniate immigrants to America, but responded positively to their petition to be reunited to the Orthodox Church.
The example of Saint Alexis and his parish in returning to Orthodoxy was an encouragement to hundreds of other Uniates. The ever-memorable one was like a candle upon a candlestick giving light to others (Mt.5:15), and his flock may be likened to the leaven mixed with meal which leavened the whole (Mt.13:33). Through his fearless preaching he uprooted the tares which had sprung up in the wheat of true doctrine, and exposed the false teachings which had led his people astray. Although he did not hesitate to point out errors in the doctrines of other denominations, he was careful to warn his flock against intolerance. His writings and sermons are filled with admonitions to respect other people and to refrain from attacking their faith.
While it is true that he made some strong comments, especially in his private correspondence with the church administration, it must be remembered that this was done while defending the Orthodox Church and the American Mission from unfounded accusations by people who used much harsher language than Father Toth. His opponents may be characterized by intolerance, rude behaviour, unethical methods and threats against him and his parishioners. Yet, when Father Alexis was offended or deceived by other people he forgave them, and he would often ask his bishop to forgive his omissions and mistakes.
In the midst of great hardships, this herald of godly theology and sound doctrine poured forth an inexhaustible stream of Orthodox writings for new converts, and gave practical advice on how to live in an Orthodox manner. For example, his article “How We should Live in America” stresses the importance of education, cleanliness, sobriety, and the presence of children in church on Sundays and Holy Days.
Although the Minneapolis parish was received into the Orthodox Church in March, 1891, it was not until July, 1892 that the Holy Synod of Russia recognized and accepted the parish into the Diocese of Alaska and the Aleutians. This resolution reached America only in October, 1892. During that time there was a climate of religious and ethnic hostility against the new converts. Father Alexis was accused of selling out his own Carpatho-Russian people and his religion to the “Muscovites” for financial gain.
In reality he did not receive any financial support for a long time, for his parish was very poor. Until his priestly salary began to arrive from Russia, the righteous one was obliged to work in a bakery in order to support himself. Even though his funds were meager, he did not neglect to give alms to the poor and needy. He shared his money with other clergy worse off than himself, and contributed to the building of churches and to the education of seminarians in Minneapolis. He was not anxious about his life (Mt.6:25), what he would eat or drink or wear. Trusting in God to take care of him, Saint Alexis followed the admonition of Our Savior to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Mt.6:33). So he bore the tribulation, slander, and physical attacks with patience and spiritual joy, reminding us that “godliness is stronger than all” (Wisdom of Solomon 10:12).
Bishops Vladimir, Nicholas, Saint Tikhon, and Platon recognized the special gifts of Father Toth, so they often sent him forth to preach and teach wherever there were people of Slavic background. Even though he was aware of his shortcomings and inadequacies, yet he was obedient to the instructions of the bishops. He did not hesitate or make excuses, but went immediately to fulfill his mission. Saint Alexis visited many Uniate parishes, explaining the differences between Orthodoxy, Protestantism, Roman Catholicism and Uniatism, stressing that the true way to salvation is in Orthodoxy.
Like Josiah, “he behaved himself uprightly in the conversion of his people” (Sir 49:2). He was instrumental in the formation or return of seventeen parishes, planting a vineyard of Christ in America, and increasing its fruitful yield many times over. By 1909, the time of his blessed repose, many thousands of Carpatho-Russian and Galician Uniates had returned to Orthodoxy. This was a major event in the history of the North American Mission, which would continue to shape the future of Orthodoxy in this country for many generations to come. Any future growth or success may truly be regarded as the result of Father Toth’s apostolic labors.
Who can tell of the saint’s spiritual struggles? Who can speak of the prayers which his pious soul poured forth unto God? He did not make a public display of his piety, but prayed to God in secret with all modesty, with contrition and inward tears. God, Who sees everything done in secret, openly rewarded the saint (Mt.6:6). It is inconceivable that Saint Alexis could have accomplished his apostolic labors unless God had blessed and strengthened him for such work. Today the Church continues to reap the fruits of his teaching and preaching.
Father Toth’s efforts did not go unrecognized in his own lifetime. He received a jeweled miter from the Holy Synod, as well as the Order of Saint Vladimir and the Order of Saint Anna from Czar Nicholas II for distinguished service and devotion to God and country. In 1907, he was considered as a candidate for the episcopal office. He declined this honor, however, humbly pointing out that this responsibility should be given to a younger, healthier man.
At the end of 1908, Saint Alexis’ health began to decline due to a complication of illneses. He went to the seashore in southern New Jersey in an attempt to regain his health, but soon returned to Wilkes-Barre, where he was confined to bed for two months. The righteous one reposed on Friday, May 7, 1909 (April 24 on the Old Calendar), the feast of Saints Savva and Alexius the Hermit of the Kiev Caves. Saint Alexis’ love and concern for his spiritual children did not cease with his death. Before closing the account of his life, it would be most appropriate to reveal but one example of his heavenly intercession:
In January, 1993 a certain man prayed to Saint Alexis to help him obtain information about his son from whom he had been separated for twenty-eight years. Placing his confidence in the saint’s boldness before God, he awaited an answer to his prayer. The very next day the man’s son telephoned him. It seems the young man was in church when he was suddenly filled with an overwhelming desire to contact his father. He had been taken to another state by his mother, and she changed his name when he was a child. This is why his father was unable to locate him. Having learned from his mother that his father was an Orthodox Christian, he was able with the help of an Orthodox priest to obtain his father’s phone number in a distant city. As a result of that telephone call, the young man later visited his father, who rejoiced to see what sort of man his son had become. The father gave thanks to God and to Saint Alexis for reuniting him with his son.
Saint Alexis was a true man of God who guided many Carpatho-Russian and Galician immigrants through the dark confusion of religious challenges in the New World and back to the unity of the Orthodox Church through his grace-filled words and by his holy example. In his last will and testament Saint Alexis commended his soul to God’s mercy, asking forgiveness from everyone and forgiving everybody. His holy relics now rest at Saint Tikhon Monastery in South Canaan, Pennsylvania where the faithful may come to venerate them and to entreat Saint Alexis’ intercessions on their behalf.
(from oca.org)
submitted by IrinaSophia to OrthodoxChristianity [link] [comments]
In May, 1879, Father Alexis was appointed secretary to the Bishop of Presov and also Administrator of the Diocesan Administration. He was also entrusted with the directorship of an orphanage. At Presov Seminary, Father Toth taught Church History and Canon Law, which served him well in his later life in America. Saint Alexis did not serve long as a professor or an administrator, for the Lord had a different future planned for him. In October, 1889 he was appointed to serve as pastor of a Uniate parish in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like another Abraham, he left his country and his relatives to fulfill the will of God (Gen 12:1).
Upon his arrival in America, Father Alexis presented himself to the local Roman Catholic diocesan authority, Archbishop John Ireland, since there was no Uniate bishop in America at that time. Archbishop Ireland belonged to the party of American Catholics who favored the “Americanization” of all Roman Catholics. His vision for the future was founded on a common faith, customs, and the use of the English language for everything except liturgical celebrations. Naturally, ethnic parishes and non-Latin rite clergy did not fit into this vision. Thus, when Father Toth came to present his credentials, Archbishop Ireland greeted him with open hostility. He refused to recognize him as a legitimate Catholic priest or to grant permission for him to serve in his diocese.
As a historian and professor of Canon Law, Father Toth knew his rights under the terms of the Unia and would not accept Archbishop Ireland’s unjust decisions. In October of 1890, there was a meeting of eight of the ten Uniate priests in America at Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania under the chairmanship of Father Toth. By this time the American bishops had written to Rome demanding the recall to Europe of all Uniate priests in America, fearing that Uniate priests and parishes would hinder the assimilation of immigrants into American culture. Uniate bishops in Europe refused to listen to the priests’ pleas for help.
Archbishop Ireland sent a letter to his parishes ordering their members not to attend Father Toth’s parish nor to accept any priestly ministrations from him. Expecting imminent deportation, Father Toth explained the situation to his parishioners and suggested it might be best for him to leave and return to Europe.
“No,” they said. “Let’s go to the Russian bishop. Why should we always submit ourselves to foreigners?” It was decided to write to the Russian consul in San Francisco in order to ask for the name and address of the Russian bishop. Ivan Mlinar went to San Francisco to make initial contact with Bishop Vladimir; then in February, 1891 Father Toth and his church warden, Paul Podany, also made the journey. Subsequently, Bishop Vladimir came to Minneapolis and on March 25, 1891 received Father Toth and 361 parishioners into the Orthodox Church of their ancestors. The parishioners regarded this event as a new Triumph of Orthodoxy, crying out with joy: “Glory to God for His great mercy!”
This initiative came from the people themselves, and was not the result of any coercion from outsiders. The Russian Orthodox Church was unaware of the existence of these Slavic Uniate immigrants to America, but responded positively to their petition to be reunited to the Orthodox Church.
The example of Saint Alexis and his parish in returning to Orthodoxy was an encouragement to hundreds of other Uniates. The ever-memorable one was like a candle upon a candlestick giving light to others (Mt.5:15), and his flock may be likened to the leaven mixed with meal which leavened the whole (Mt.13:33). Through his fearless preaching he uprooted the tares which had sprung up in the wheat of true doctrine, and exposed the false teachings which had led his people astray. Although he did not hesitate to point out errors in the doctrines of other denominations, he was careful to warn his flock against intolerance. His writings and sermons are filled with admonitions to respect other people and to refrain from attacking their faith.
While it is true that he made some strong comments, especially in his private correspondence with the church administration, it must be remembered that this was done while defending the Orthodox Church and the American Mission from unfounded accusations by people who used much harsher language than Father Toth. His opponents may be characterized by intolerance, rude behaviour, unethical methods and threats against him and his parishioners. Yet, when Father Alexis was offended or deceived by other people he forgave them, and he would often ask his bishop to forgive his omissions and mistakes.
In the midst of great hardships, this herald of godly theology and sound doctrine poured forth an inexhaustible stream of Orthodox writings for new converts, and gave practical advice on how to live in an Orthodox manner. For example, his article “How We should Live in America” stresses the importance of education, cleanliness, sobriety, and the presence of children in church on Sundays and Holy Days.
Although the Minneapolis parish was received into the Orthodox Church in March, 1891, it was not until July, 1892 that the Holy Synod of Russia recognized and accepted the parish into the Diocese of Alaska and the Aleutians. This resolution reached America only in October, 1892. During that time there was a climate of religious and ethnic hostility against the new converts. Father Alexis was accused of selling out his own Carpatho-Russian people and his religion to the “Muscovites” for financial gain.
In reality he did not receive any financial support for a long time, for his parish was very poor. Until his priestly salary began to arrive from Russia, the righteous one was obliged to work in a bakery in order to support himself. Even though his funds were meager, he did not neglect to give alms to the poor and needy. He shared his money with other clergy worse off than himself, and contributed to the building of churches and to the education of seminarians in Minneapolis. He was not anxious about his life (Mt.6:25), what he would eat or drink or wear. Trusting in God to take care of him, Saint Alexis followed the admonition of Our Savior to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Mt.6:33). So he bore the tribulation, slander, and physical attacks with patience and spiritual joy, reminding us that “godliness is stronger than all” (Wisdom of Solomon 10:12).
Bishops Vladimir, Nicholas, Saint Tikhon, and Platon recognized the special gifts of Father Toth, so they often sent him forth to preach and teach wherever there were people of Slavic background. Even though he was aware of his shortcomings and inadequacies, yet he was obedient to the instructions of the bishops. He did not hesitate or make excuses, but went immediately to fulfill his mission. Saint Alexis visited many Uniate parishes, explaining the differences between Orthodoxy, Protestantism, Roman Catholicism and Uniatism, stressing that the true way to salvation is in Orthodoxy.
Like Josiah, “he behaved himself uprightly in the conversion of his people” (Sir 49:2). He was instrumental in the formation or return of seventeen parishes, planting a vineyard of Christ in America, and increasing its fruitful yield many times over. By 1909, the time of his blessed repose, many thousands of Carpatho-Russian and Galician Uniates had returned to Orthodoxy. This was a major event in the history of the North American Mission, which would continue to shape the future of Orthodoxy in this country for many generations to come. Any future growth or success may truly be regarded as the result of Father Toth’s apostolic labors.
Who can tell of the saint’s spiritual struggles? Who can speak of the prayers which his pious soul poured forth unto God? He did not make a public display of his piety, but prayed to God in secret with all modesty, with contrition and inward tears. God, Who sees everything done in secret, openly rewarded the saint (Mt.6:6). It is inconceivable that Saint Alexis could have accomplished his apostolic labors unless God had blessed and strengthened him for such work. Today the Church continues to reap the fruits of his teaching and preaching.
Father Toth’s efforts did not go unrecognized in his own lifetime. He received a jeweled miter from the Holy Synod, as well as the Order of Saint Vladimir and the Order of Saint Anna from Czar Nicholas II for distinguished service and devotion to God and country. In 1907, he was considered as a candidate for the episcopal office. He declined this honor, however, humbly pointing out that this responsibility should be given to a younger, healthier man.
At the end of 1908, Saint Alexis’ health began to decline due to a complication of illneses. He went to the seashore in southern New Jersey in an attempt to regain his health, but soon returned to Wilkes-Barre, where he was confined to bed for two months. The righteous one reposed on Friday, May 7, 1909 (April 24 on the Old Calendar), the feast of Saints Savva and Alexius the Hermit of the Kiev Caves. Saint Alexis’ love and concern for his spiritual children did not cease with his death. Before closing the account of his life, it would be most appropriate to reveal but one example of his heavenly intercession:
In January, 1993 a certain man prayed to Saint Alexis to help him obtain information about his son from whom he had been separated for twenty-eight years. Placing his confidence in the saint’s boldness before God, he awaited an answer to his prayer. The very next day the man’s son telephoned him. It seems the young man was in church when he was suddenly filled with an overwhelming desire to contact his father. He had been taken to another state by his mother, and she changed his name when he was a child. This is why his father was unable to locate him. Having learned from his mother that his father was an Orthodox Christian, he was able with the help of an Orthodox priest to obtain his father’s phone number in a distant city. As a result of that telephone call, the young man later visited his father, who rejoiced to see what sort of man his son had become. The father gave thanks to God and to Saint Alexis for reuniting him with his son.
Saint Alexis was a true man of God who guided many Carpatho-Russian and Galician immigrants through the dark confusion of religious challenges in the New World and back to the unity of the Orthodox Church through his grace-filled words and by his holy example. In his last will and testament Saint Alexis commended his soul to God’s mercy, asking forgiveness from everyone and forgiving everybody. His holy relics now rest at Saint Tikhon Monastery in South Canaan, Pennsylvania where the faithful may come to venerate them and to entreat Saint Alexis’ intercessions on their behalf.
(from oca.org)
2024.05.07 06:41 Xatz41 Repose of Saint Alexis Toth, Confessor and Defender of Orthodoxy in America
Our holy Father Alexis, the defender of the Orthodox Faith and zealous worker in the Lord’s vineyard, was born in Austro-Hungary on March 18, 1854 into a poor Carpatho-Russian family. Like many others in the Austro-Hungarian empire, the Toths were Eastern Rite Catholics. Alexis’ father and brother were priests and his uncle was a bishop in the Uniate church. He received an excellent education and knew several languages (Carpatho-Russian, Hungarian, Russian, German, Latin, and a reading knowledge of Greek). He married Rosalie Mihalich, a priest’s daughter, and was ordained on April 18, 1878 to serve as second priest in a Uniate parish. His wife died soon afterwards, followed by their only child—losses which the saint endured with the patience of Job.
In May, 1879, Father Alexis was appointed secretary to the Bishop of Presov and also Administrator of the Diocesan Administration. He was also entrusted with the directorship of an orphanage. At Presov Seminary, Father Toth taught Church History and Canon Law, which served him well in his later life in America. Saint Alexis did not serve long as a professor or an administrator, for the Lord had a different future planned for him. In October, 1889 he was appointed to serve as pastor of a Uniate parish in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like another Abraham, he left his country and his relatives to fulfill the will of God (Gen 12:1).
Upon his arrival in America, Father Alexis presented himself to the local Roman Catholic diocesan authority, Archbishop John Ireland, since there was no Uniate bishop in America at that time. Archbishop Ireland belonged to the party of American Catholics who favored the “Americanization” of all Roman Catholics. His vision for the future was founded on a common faith, customs, and the use of the English language for everything except liturgical celebrations. Naturally, ethnic parishes and non-Latin rite clergy did not fit into this vision. Thus, when Father Toth came to present his credentials, Archbishop Ireland greeted him with open hostility. He refused to recognize him as a legitimate Catholic priest or to grant permission for him to serve in his diocese.
As a historian and professor of Canon Law, Father Toth knew his rights under the terms of the Unia and would not accept Archbishop Ireland’s unjust decisions. In October of 1890, there was a meeting of eight of the ten Uniate priests in America at Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania under the chairmanship of Father Toth. By this time the American bishops had written to Rome demanding the recall to Europe of all Uniate priests in America, fearing that Uniate priests and parishes would hinder the assimilation of immigrants into American culture. Uniate bishops in Europe refused to listen to the priests’ pleas for help.
Archbishop Ireland sent a letter to his parishes ordering their members not to attend Father Toth’s parish nor to accept any priestly ministrations from him. Expecting imminent deportation, Father Toth explained the situation to his parishioners and suggested it might be best for him to leave and return to Europe.
“No,” they said. “Let’s go to the Russian bishop. Why should we always submit ourselves to foreigners?” It was decided to write to the Russian consul in San Francisco in order to ask for the name and address of the Russian bishop. Ivan Mlinar went to San Francisco to make initial contact with Bishop Vladimir; then in February, 1891 Father Toth and his church warden, Paul Podany, also made the journey. Subsequently, Bishop Vladimir came to Minneapolis and on March 25, 1891 received Father Toth and 361 parishioners into the Orthodox Church of their ancestors. The parishioners regarded this event as a new Triumph of Orthodoxy, crying out with joy: “Glory to God for His great mercy!”
This initiative came from the people themselves, and was not the result of any coercion from outsiders. The Russian Orthodox Church was unaware of the existence of these Slavic Uniate immigrants to America, but responded positively to their petition to be reunited to the Orthodox Church.
The example of Saint Alexis and his parish in returning to Orthodoxy was an encouragement to hundreds of other Uniates. The ever-memorable one was like a candle upon a candlestick giving light to others (Mt.5:15), and his flock may be likened to the leaven mixed with meal which leavened the whole (Mt.13:33). Through his fearless preaching he uprooted the tares which had sprung up in the wheat of true doctrine, and exposed the false teachings which had led his people astray. Although he did not hesitate to point out errors in the doctrines of other denominations, he was careful to warn his flock against intolerance. His writings and sermons are filled with admonitions to respect other people and to refrain from attacking their faith.
While it is true that he made some strong comments, especially in his private correspondence with the church administration, it must be remembered that this was done while defending the Orthodox Church and the American Mission from unfounded accusations by people who used much harsher language than Father Toth. His opponents may be characterized by intolerance, rude behaviour, unethical methods and threats against him and his parishioners. Yet, when Father Alexis was offended or deceived by other people he forgave them, and he would often ask his bishop to forgive his omissions and mistakes.
In the midst of great hardships, this herald of godly theology and sound doctrine poured forth an inexhaustible stream of Orthodox writings for new converts, and gave practical advice on how to live in an Orthodox manner. For example, his article “How We should Live in America” stresses the importance of education, cleanliness, sobriety, and the presence of children in church on Sundays and Holy Days.
Although the Minneapolis parish was received into the Orthodox Church in March, 1891, it was not until July, 1892 that the Holy Synod of Russia recognized and accepted the parish into the Diocese of Alaska and the Aleutians. This resolution reached America only in October, 1892. During that time there was a climate of religious and ethnic hostility against the new converts. Father Alexis was accused of selling out his own Carpatho-Russian people and his religion to the “Muscovites” for financial gain.
In reality he did not receive any financial support for a long time, for his parish was very poor. Until his priestly salary began to arrive from Russia, the righteous one was obliged to work in a bakery in order to support himself. Even though his funds were meager, he did not neglect to give alms to the poor and needy. He shared his money with other clergy worse off than himself, and contributed to the building of churches and to the education of seminarians in Minneapolis. He was not anxious about his life (Mt.6:25), what he would eat or drink or wear. Trusting in God to take care of him, Saint Alexis followed the admonition of Our Savior to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Mt.6:33). So he bore the tribulation, slander, and physical attacks with patience and spiritual joy, reminding us that “godliness is stronger than all” (Wisdom of Solomon 10:12).
Bishops Vladimir, Nicholas, Saint Tikhon, and Platon recognized the special gifts of Father Toth, so they often sent him forth to preach and teach wherever there were people of Slavic background. Even though he was aware of his shortcomings and inadequacies, yet he was obedient to the instructions of the bishops. He did not hesitate or make excuses, but went immediately to fulfill his mission. Saint Alexis visited many Uniate parishes, explaining the differences between Orthodoxy, Protestantism, Roman Catholicism and Uniatism, stressing that the true way to salvation is in Orthodoxy.
Like Josiah, “he behaved himself uprightly in the conversion of his people” (Sir 49:2). He was instrumental in the formation or return of seventeen parishes, planting a vineyard of Christ in America, and increasing its fruitful yield many times over. By 1909, the time of his blessed repose, many thousands of Carpatho-Russian and Galician Uniates had returned to Orthodoxy. This was a major event in the history of the North American Mission, which would continue to shape the future of Orthodoxy in this country for many generations to come. Any future growth or success may truly be regarded as the result of Father Toth’s apostolic labors.
Who can tell of the saint’s spiritual struggles? Who can speak of the prayers which his pious soul poured forth unto God? He did not make a public display of his piety, but prayed to God in secret with all modesty, with contrition and inward tears. God, Who sees everything done in secret, openly rewarded the saint (Mt.6:6). It is inconceivable that Saint Alexis could have accomplished his apostolic labors unless God had blessed and strengthened him for such work. Today the Church continues to reap the fruits of his teaching and preaching.
Father Toth’s efforts did not go unrecognized in his own lifetime. He received a jeweled miter from the Holy Synod, as well as the Order of Saint Vladimir and the Order of Saint Anna from Czar Nicholas II for distinguished service and devotion to God and country. In 1907, he was considered as a candidate for the episcopal office. He declined this honor, however, humbly pointing out that this responsibility should be given to a younger, healthier man.
At the end of 1908, Saint Alexis’ health began to decline due to a complication of illneses. He went to the seashore in southern New Jersey in an attempt to regain his health, but soon returned to Wilkes-Barre, where he was confined to bed for two months. The righteous one reposed on Friday, May 7, 1909 (April 24 on the Old Calendar), the feast of Saints Savva and Alexius the Hermit of the Kiev Caves. Saint Alexis’ love and concern for his spiritual children did not cease with his death. Before closing the account of his life, it would be most appropriate to reveal but one example of his heavenly intercession:
In January, 1993 a certain man prayed to Saint Alexis to help him obtain information about his son from whom he had been separated for twenty-eight years. Placing his confidence in the saint’s boldness before God, he awaited an answer to his prayer. The very next day the man’s son telephoned him. It seems the young man was in church when he was suddenly filled with an overwhelming desire to contact his father. He had been taken to another state by his mother, and she changed his name when he was a child. This is why his father was unable to locate him. Having learned from his mother that his father was an Orthodox Christian, he was able with the help of an Orthodox priest to obtain his father’s phone number in a distant city. As a result of that telephone call, the young man later visited his father, who rejoiced to see what sort of man his son had become. The father gave thanks to God and to Saint Alexis for reuniting him with his son.
Saint Alexis was a true man of God who guided many Carpatho-Russian and Galician immigrants through the dark confusion of religious challenges in the New World and back to the unity of the Orthodox Church through his grace-filled words and by his holy example. In his last will and testament Saint Alexis commended his soul to God’s mercy, asking forgiveness from everyone and forgiving everybody. His holy relics now rest at Saint Tikhon Monastery in South Canaan, Pennsylvania where the faithful may come to venerate them and to entreat Saint Alexis’ intercessions on their behalf.
submitted by Xatz41 to OrthodoxGreece [link] [comments]
In May, 1879, Father Alexis was appointed secretary to the Bishop of Presov and also Administrator of the Diocesan Administration. He was also entrusted with the directorship of an orphanage. At Presov Seminary, Father Toth taught Church History and Canon Law, which served him well in his later life in America. Saint Alexis did not serve long as a professor or an administrator, for the Lord had a different future planned for him. In October, 1889 he was appointed to serve as pastor of a Uniate parish in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Like another Abraham, he left his country and his relatives to fulfill the will of God (Gen 12:1).
Upon his arrival in America, Father Alexis presented himself to the local Roman Catholic diocesan authority, Archbishop John Ireland, since there was no Uniate bishop in America at that time. Archbishop Ireland belonged to the party of American Catholics who favored the “Americanization” of all Roman Catholics. His vision for the future was founded on a common faith, customs, and the use of the English language for everything except liturgical celebrations. Naturally, ethnic parishes and non-Latin rite clergy did not fit into this vision. Thus, when Father Toth came to present his credentials, Archbishop Ireland greeted him with open hostility. He refused to recognize him as a legitimate Catholic priest or to grant permission for him to serve in his diocese.
As a historian and professor of Canon Law, Father Toth knew his rights under the terms of the Unia and would not accept Archbishop Ireland’s unjust decisions. In October of 1890, there was a meeting of eight of the ten Uniate priests in America at Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania under the chairmanship of Father Toth. By this time the American bishops had written to Rome demanding the recall to Europe of all Uniate priests in America, fearing that Uniate priests and parishes would hinder the assimilation of immigrants into American culture. Uniate bishops in Europe refused to listen to the priests’ pleas for help.
Archbishop Ireland sent a letter to his parishes ordering their members not to attend Father Toth’s parish nor to accept any priestly ministrations from him. Expecting imminent deportation, Father Toth explained the situation to his parishioners and suggested it might be best for him to leave and return to Europe.
“No,” they said. “Let’s go to the Russian bishop. Why should we always submit ourselves to foreigners?” It was decided to write to the Russian consul in San Francisco in order to ask for the name and address of the Russian bishop. Ivan Mlinar went to San Francisco to make initial contact with Bishop Vladimir; then in February, 1891 Father Toth and his church warden, Paul Podany, also made the journey. Subsequently, Bishop Vladimir came to Minneapolis and on March 25, 1891 received Father Toth and 361 parishioners into the Orthodox Church of their ancestors. The parishioners regarded this event as a new Triumph of Orthodoxy, crying out with joy: “Glory to God for His great mercy!”
This initiative came from the people themselves, and was not the result of any coercion from outsiders. The Russian Orthodox Church was unaware of the existence of these Slavic Uniate immigrants to America, but responded positively to their petition to be reunited to the Orthodox Church.
The example of Saint Alexis and his parish in returning to Orthodoxy was an encouragement to hundreds of other Uniates. The ever-memorable one was like a candle upon a candlestick giving light to others (Mt.5:15), and his flock may be likened to the leaven mixed with meal which leavened the whole (Mt.13:33). Through his fearless preaching he uprooted the tares which had sprung up in the wheat of true doctrine, and exposed the false teachings which had led his people astray. Although he did not hesitate to point out errors in the doctrines of other denominations, he was careful to warn his flock against intolerance. His writings and sermons are filled with admonitions to respect other people and to refrain from attacking their faith.
While it is true that he made some strong comments, especially in his private correspondence with the church administration, it must be remembered that this was done while defending the Orthodox Church and the American Mission from unfounded accusations by people who used much harsher language than Father Toth. His opponents may be characterized by intolerance, rude behaviour, unethical methods and threats against him and his parishioners. Yet, when Father Alexis was offended or deceived by other people he forgave them, and he would often ask his bishop to forgive his omissions and mistakes.
In the midst of great hardships, this herald of godly theology and sound doctrine poured forth an inexhaustible stream of Orthodox writings for new converts, and gave practical advice on how to live in an Orthodox manner. For example, his article “How We should Live in America” stresses the importance of education, cleanliness, sobriety, and the presence of children in church on Sundays and Holy Days.
Although the Minneapolis parish was received into the Orthodox Church in March, 1891, it was not until July, 1892 that the Holy Synod of Russia recognized and accepted the parish into the Diocese of Alaska and the Aleutians. This resolution reached America only in October, 1892. During that time there was a climate of religious and ethnic hostility against the new converts. Father Alexis was accused of selling out his own Carpatho-Russian people and his religion to the “Muscovites” for financial gain.
In reality he did not receive any financial support for a long time, for his parish was very poor. Until his priestly salary began to arrive from Russia, the righteous one was obliged to work in a bakery in order to support himself. Even though his funds were meager, he did not neglect to give alms to the poor and needy. He shared his money with other clergy worse off than himself, and contributed to the building of churches and to the education of seminarians in Minneapolis. He was not anxious about his life (Mt.6:25), what he would eat or drink or wear. Trusting in God to take care of him, Saint Alexis followed the admonition of Our Savior to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Mt.6:33). So he bore the tribulation, slander, and physical attacks with patience and spiritual joy, reminding us that “godliness is stronger than all” (Wisdom of Solomon 10:12).
Bishops Vladimir, Nicholas, Saint Tikhon, and Platon recognized the special gifts of Father Toth, so they often sent him forth to preach and teach wherever there were people of Slavic background. Even though he was aware of his shortcomings and inadequacies, yet he was obedient to the instructions of the bishops. He did not hesitate or make excuses, but went immediately to fulfill his mission. Saint Alexis visited many Uniate parishes, explaining the differences between Orthodoxy, Protestantism, Roman Catholicism and Uniatism, stressing that the true way to salvation is in Orthodoxy.
Like Josiah, “he behaved himself uprightly in the conversion of his people” (Sir 49:2). He was instrumental in the formation or return of seventeen parishes, planting a vineyard of Christ in America, and increasing its fruitful yield many times over. By 1909, the time of his blessed repose, many thousands of Carpatho-Russian and Galician Uniates had returned to Orthodoxy. This was a major event in the history of the North American Mission, which would continue to shape the future of Orthodoxy in this country for many generations to come. Any future growth or success may truly be regarded as the result of Father Toth’s apostolic labors.
Who can tell of the saint’s spiritual struggles? Who can speak of the prayers which his pious soul poured forth unto God? He did not make a public display of his piety, but prayed to God in secret with all modesty, with contrition and inward tears. God, Who sees everything done in secret, openly rewarded the saint (Mt.6:6). It is inconceivable that Saint Alexis could have accomplished his apostolic labors unless God had blessed and strengthened him for such work. Today the Church continues to reap the fruits of his teaching and preaching.
Father Toth’s efforts did not go unrecognized in his own lifetime. He received a jeweled miter from the Holy Synod, as well as the Order of Saint Vladimir and the Order of Saint Anna from Czar Nicholas II for distinguished service and devotion to God and country. In 1907, he was considered as a candidate for the episcopal office. He declined this honor, however, humbly pointing out that this responsibility should be given to a younger, healthier man.
At the end of 1908, Saint Alexis’ health began to decline due to a complication of illneses. He went to the seashore in southern New Jersey in an attempt to regain his health, but soon returned to Wilkes-Barre, where he was confined to bed for two months. The righteous one reposed on Friday, May 7, 1909 (April 24 on the Old Calendar), the feast of Saints Savva and Alexius the Hermit of the Kiev Caves. Saint Alexis’ love and concern for his spiritual children did not cease with his death. Before closing the account of his life, it would be most appropriate to reveal but one example of his heavenly intercession:
In January, 1993 a certain man prayed to Saint Alexis to help him obtain information about his son from whom he had been separated for twenty-eight years. Placing his confidence in the saint’s boldness before God, he awaited an answer to his prayer. The very next day the man’s son telephoned him. It seems the young man was in church when he was suddenly filled with an overwhelming desire to contact his father. He had been taken to another state by his mother, and she changed his name when he was a child. This is why his father was unable to locate him. Having learned from his mother that his father was an Orthodox Christian, he was able with the help of an Orthodox priest to obtain his father’s phone number in a distant city. As a result of that telephone call, the young man later visited his father, who rejoiced to see what sort of man his son had become. The father gave thanks to God and to Saint Alexis for reuniting him with his son.
Saint Alexis was a true man of God who guided many Carpatho-Russian and Galician immigrants through the dark confusion of religious challenges in the New World and back to the unity of the Orthodox Church through his grace-filled words and by his holy example. In his last will and testament Saint Alexis commended his soul to God’s mercy, asking forgiveness from everyone and forgiving everybody. His holy relics now rest at Saint Tikhon Monastery in South Canaan, Pennsylvania where the faithful may come to venerate them and to entreat Saint Alexis’ intercessions on their behalf.
2024.04.27 08:00 Cut-Unique If any of you are still interested, here's Chapter 15 of my fanfic, Nelle From Hell...
This chapter picks up immediately where Chapter 14 left off.
In the previous chapter, Nelle, after spending several hours at Pine Valley Hospital waiting for updates on Esme's condition following her overdose, went back to Wildwind. She cared for Ace in Esme's absence, and once again argued with Kiki, who accused her of waiting for all the parents in their group to die so she could claim their children as her own. Nelle countered this by saying that she was honoring her end of the Trust she made with Esme, and that Ace was the only child whom she agreed to care for in the absence of their parent.
Meanwhile, back in Port Charles, Carly tried to hide her concern for Ace, whom she felt responsible for due to Esme staying in the apartment above Bobbie's, by saying that some days were harder than others due to her grief, but Joss and Trina saw through it. Alexis called Carly and asked if Carly had seen Esme, as she hadn't shown up for work in two days.
Michael and Willow reconciled, and they decided to call "Leann" (aka Leora) and ask her to babysit while they went out to dinner. Willow called Leora, who informed them of Esme's condition. Willow relayed the information to Michael, who in turn, relayed it to Carly, and eventually the whole town knew.
The next day, Spencer took Trina to a date at the Port Charles Grill. Cyrus came over to their table and offered to say a prayer for Ace. Spencer and Trina reluctantly agreed. Later that evening, Cyrus was arrested for plotting with Dr. Jonathan Kinder to murder Esme by having her overdose. Cyrus insisted that they were arresting the wrong person.
Back in Pine Valley, Anton Marick noticed Leora looking at the picture of Dimitri and Alex Marick on their wedding day. Anton told Leora about Alex, and how initially she was a kind, caring doctor who was able to save Dimitri's life, but due to her conditioning, became increasingly mentally unstable, especially after meeting Peter August (even though she wasn't aware back then that he was her son), which ultimately resulted in Dimitri and Alex divorcing. Leora ruled out Alex as her mother, as Alex and Dimitri were still married when she was born. Anton eventually remembered his colleague, Dr. David Hayward, and his despair over not being able to save his daughter, who died during heart surgery. Leora asked Anton for David's contact info, and Anton told her that David had died several years earlier. Leora broke down sobbing.
At the hospital, Nelle pleaded with Esme to come back to her. Esme opened her eyes and muttered "N-Nelle?"
submitted by Cut-Unique to GeneralHospital [link] [comments]
In the previous chapter, Nelle, after spending several hours at Pine Valley Hospital waiting for updates on Esme's condition following her overdose, went back to Wildwind. She cared for Ace in Esme's absence, and once again argued with Kiki, who accused her of waiting for all the parents in their group to die so she could claim their children as her own. Nelle countered this by saying that she was honoring her end of the Trust she made with Esme, and that Ace was the only child whom she agreed to care for in the absence of their parent.
Meanwhile, back in Port Charles, Carly tried to hide her concern for Ace, whom she felt responsible for due to Esme staying in the apartment above Bobbie's, by saying that some days were harder than others due to her grief, but Joss and Trina saw through it. Alexis called Carly and asked if Carly had seen Esme, as she hadn't shown up for work in two days.
Michael and Willow reconciled, and they decided to call "Leann" (aka Leora) and ask her to babysit while they went out to dinner. Willow called Leora, who informed them of Esme's condition. Willow relayed the information to Michael, who in turn, relayed it to Carly, and eventually the whole town knew.
The next day, Spencer took Trina to a date at the Port Charles Grill. Cyrus came over to their table and offered to say a prayer for Ace. Spencer and Trina reluctantly agreed. Later that evening, Cyrus was arrested for plotting with Dr. Jonathan Kinder to murder Esme by having her overdose. Cyrus insisted that they were arresting the wrong person.
Back in Pine Valley, Anton Marick noticed Leora looking at the picture of Dimitri and Alex Marick on their wedding day. Anton told Leora about Alex, and how initially she was a kind, caring doctor who was able to save Dimitri's life, but due to her conditioning, became increasingly mentally unstable, especially after meeting Peter August (even though she wasn't aware back then that he was her son), which ultimately resulted in Dimitri and Alex divorcing. Leora ruled out Alex as her mother, as Alex and Dimitri were still married when she was born. Anton eventually remembered his colleague, Dr. David Hayward, and his despair over not being able to save his daughter, who died during heart surgery. Leora asked Anton for David's contact info, and Anton told her that David had died several years earlier. Leora broke down sobbing.
At the hospital, Nelle pleaded with Esme to come back to her. Esme opened her eyes and muttered "N-Nelle?"
2024.04.16 11:42 Scsigs Disproving the Rumors Of Chris Sabat Having a Casting Couch
This is gonna be a bit of a long one, but I need to put this somewhere & Twitter won't suffice.
I've dipped my toes in & out of the Vic Mignogna drama for the last 5 years since it became a thing. In all of these years, I've seen nothing but the worst of the worst be said online about the people the #IStandWithVic crowd hate with a passion. Mainly the likes of Monica Rial, Jamie Marchi, & Chris Sabat for no real reason other than the first 2 speaking about their experiences with Vic & Sabat being 1 of the people at FUNimation (now Crunchyroll) who had anything to do with dubs to any big degree.
Now, 1 of the more serious claims people on Vic's side keep running with for some reason is the "Casting couch" rumor stated by Chuck Huber in his affidavit defending Vic from several years ago. This is a claim that I find to be ridiculous to believe. No one else but Chuck has come forward about it. Ever. You would think that in the time since his affidavit someone else would've come forward about it, but no. I know what some of you are thinking; "But Stephanie Nadolny did." Nope. And I'm about to explain to you why that is completely false.
First, Chuck Huber's statements. In the affidavit, he's said the following...
To also say this, Vic being a Conservative Christian doesn't surprised me 1 bit & if he's supported Donald Trump, that's legitimately bad. Donald Trump is genuinely an awful person & now we have more examples than we did when this affidavit came out. The people listed (convenient it's only Rial, Marchi, & Sabat who're called out by name, btw) having problems with Vic's political leanings isn't a bad thing in this case & wasn't the "W" Chuck thought it would be. Also, it should be noted that people's opinions about Vic being shitty went around for YEARS before the controversy. So, to hear people said Vic was a douche & a prima dona isn't surprising in the least. Vic once got mad that Team Four Star had a bigger panel room than he did for a convention panel years ago, to which he said, "Team Four Star? What is that? What even is that?" Yep, the line that Freeza had in an episode of DBZA that was about the Super Saiyan form was inspired by Vic. This was confirmed by Takahata101 in 1 of his DBZA Creator Commentary streams last year. I've seen that some people like to falsely attribute it to Sean Schemmel to make him seem like an ego maniac. Now, Sean does have an ego on him, but let's stick to the facts here, guys. TL;DR, he's very much a prima dona & a diva.
Now, to get into this.
Stephany Nadolny was a voice actress at FUNimation from 1999-2009. She voiced kid Gohan & Goku in that time, as well as had smaller parts in some other FUNimation dubs in that time. Come the dub of DBZ Kai entering preproduction in 2010 (& not 2007 like Chuck claims), she was replaced as Gohan with Colleen Clinkenbeard. She's gone into this a bit in an interview from early 2019 that, unfortunately, is not viewable anymore on YouTube for some reason, but luckily an article exists that I can pull quotes from. Here's what was said:
Nadolny plainly stated in the interview that a man she had dated & broke up with threatened to ruin her career & apparently has to some degree. The man apparently let slip private things about her that don't need to be made public. There is no confirmation that this man was Chris Sabat, or else I feel that she would've said so at some point. She literally has nothing left to lose at this point, so why not? It makes 0 sense to me that anyone could think this was Sabat. Sabat has also been married to his wife Tabitha since 2008 & has 2 kids with her. I just don't see how this could be Sabat.
Also, there's a screenshot that had gone around at the time allegedly of Nadolny telling a fan through Facebook DMs that Sabat is a bully & goes out of his way to get those who don't do things his way & that she'd turned down an advance he made on her back in 2007 & he's held a grudge against her ever since. I'm sorry, but the screenshot looks fake & using fotoforensics.com, it definitely looks like someone photoshopped it together. She's also never confirmed it to be real, or anything said in it to be true. It also doesn't go with her actual story & doesn't seem like how she'd word things. Thus, it's me belief that someone faked it to make Sabat look bad because they wanna suck Vic off.
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/928405739066765412/1229693887355027456/2019.png?ex=66309cad&is=661e27ad&hm=ab815501d5b07dfeccd54d38126f0bc9c3a9477caf6928a7924f4c91f4884888&=&format=webp&quality=lossless&width=924&height=614
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/928405739066765412/1229693887782584394/analysis.png?ex=66309cad&is=661e27ad&hm=bf612ef98220a8072676a102a8607d533f257b4bb86c7ec6db3038bc453318d9&=&format=webp&quality=lossless&width=924&height=614
Now, in terms of the "clique," this could be true. When you have people working together a lot at a place of employment, there could easily be groups that form between them. In most social settings, you'll find that kind of thing. If Stephanie wasn't in said group, that's just how things went. We don't know if there's any reason why Sabat recast Gohan other than he felt she wasn't right for the direction he wanted to take the dubs in. Further more, multiple people's parts were recast, including some of his own, not just Nadolny's. Not only had Colleen Clinkenbeard taken over for Gohan (as well as eventually kid Goku) from Nadolny, but also Android 18 from Meredith McCoy for Kai & some of the games while she was unable to reprise the role, Monica Rial took over for Bulma from Tiffany Vollmer due to Vollmer leaving FUNi for other work beforehand, Doc Morgan became the narrator, Brina Palencia took over for Chiaotzu, Chris Ayres took over for Freeza, Greg Ayres took over for Guldo, R. Bruce Elliot took over for Ginyu, Jason Liebrecht took over for Jeice, J. Michael Tatum took over for Zarbon, Brian Massey was Oolong for the first 98 episodes, Jason Douglas as King Cold, Alexis Tipton is Erasa (as well as Trunks' half of Gotenks), etc. For some reason, people nowadays are acting like Nadolny was the only one replaced when that's not the case. Hers is just confusing as to why it happened exactly. It could be for any number of reasons. Sabat probably wanted to go in another direction with it for all we know.
Also, not surprised that he's involved to that degree considering he's the main dub producer & director ever since he directed the Z dub in 1999.
So, I think that I can definitively say that Chris Sabat doesn't have a casting couch. Now, what got me on this track was that someone clip chimped a panel recording from 2015 of Sonny Strait & Matthew Mercer joking about sleeping with Sabat to get their jobs. They left out the more serious answer he gave. Ostensibly to try to add validity to the "rumors" Chuck heard.
https://youtu.be/PCBHcG0xO_s?si=jbJWGnD-A10q4i55&t=519
This whole thing is stupid & I hope this can be used as a resource to disprove all of this bullshit in the future.
Articles cited:
https://boundingintocomics.com/2019/09/04/dragon-ball-and-vegeta-voice-actor-chris-sabat-accused-of-abusive-behavior-and-exchanging-roles-for-sexual-favors/
https://boundingintocomics.com/2019/09/06/former-dragon-ball-voice-actress-stephanie-nadolny-claims-to-have-lost-roles-due-to-vengeful-ex-boyfriend-and-funimations-clique-culture/
https://comicbook.com/anime/news/dragon-ball-voice-actor-chris-sabat-statement-casting-allegation/
https://internewscast.com/celeb/who-is-tabitha-sabat-christopher-sabat-wife-kids-and-family/
submitted by Scsigs to Scsigs [link] [comments]
I've dipped my toes in & out of the Vic Mignogna drama for the last 5 years since it became a thing. In all of these years, I've seen nothing but the worst of the worst be said online about the people the #IStandWithVic crowd hate with a passion. Mainly the likes of Monica Rial, Jamie Marchi, & Chris Sabat for no real reason other than the first 2 speaking about their experiences with Vic & Sabat being 1 of the people at FUNimation (now Crunchyroll) who had anything to do with dubs to any big degree.
Now, 1 of the more serious claims people on Vic's side keep running with for some reason is the "Casting couch" rumor stated by Chuck Huber in his affidavit defending Vic from several years ago. This is a claim that I find to be ridiculous to believe. No one else but Chuck has come forward about it. Ever. You would think that in the time since his affidavit someone else would've come forward about it, but no. I know what some of you are thinking; "But Stephanie Nadolny did." Nope. And I'm about to explain to you why that is completely false.
First, Chuck Huber's statements. In the affidavit, he's said the following...
None of this has been substantiated. If some of these things are true, that's not great. I can imagine some of these things were intended as jokes, but Jesus.
- In that conversation, Chris Sabat verbally disparaged Vic’s Christian faith and speculated that Vic was “actually gay” based on the way he dressed.
- In that conversation, Chris Sabat stated that Vic was a pedophile who liked “little girls”. Despite these statements, he did not express concerns about risks to fans, which I thought was odd.
- In virtually all conversations I had with these voice actors when Vic was not present, disparaging remarks were made about Vic. Typical statements included “he’s a prima dona, he’s a douche, he’s a diva, his clothes are gay,” plus comments of his purported infidelity, dislike of his conservative Christian beliefs and personal attacks for his support of Donald Trump. All of these comments were made at one time or another by Monica Rial, Jamie Marchi, Chris Sabat, and others. All of them, however, conceded his ability to do his job.
To also say this, Vic being a Conservative Christian doesn't surprised me 1 bit & if he's supported Donald Trump, that's legitimately bad. Donald Trump is genuinely an awful person & now we have more examples than we did when this affidavit came out. The people listed (convenient it's only Rial, Marchi, & Sabat who're called out by name, btw) having problems with Vic's political leanings isn't a bad thing in this case & wasn't the "W" Chuck thought it would be. Also, it should be noted that people's opinions about Vic being shitty went around for YEARS before the controversy. So, to hear people said Vic was a douche & a prima dona isn't surprising in the least. Vic once got mad that Team Four Star had a bigger panel room than he did for a convention panel years ago, to which he said, "Team Four Star? What is that? What even is that?" Yep, the line that Freeza had in an episode of DBZA that was about the Super Saiyan form was inspired by Vic. This was confirmed by Takahata101 in 1 of his DBZA Creator Commentary streams last year. I've seen that some people like to falsely attribute it to Sean Schemmel to make him seem like an ego maniac. Now, Sean does have an ego on him, but let's stick to the facts here, guys. TL;DR, he's very much a prima dona & a diva.
No one named & no one coming in to substantiate that.
- Senior Fumimation directors have described the work environment at Funimation to me as a “Den of Poison,” “Kafka Nightmare,” and “Orwellian Slave Factory.”
We have no proof of any of this. I highly doubt that telling them how they can better their working conditions wouldn't get you re-hired. It should also be noted that Chuck also has had jobs outside of voice acting for FUNimation. A lot of people do if they're not full-time employees due to the pay not being great for non-union voice work. Chuck's also known nowadays on Twitter for having some...really unsavory political & social opinions, so I don't doubt he may have fallen out of favor with Sabat to the point where he barely gets many roles, but still gets brought back for his established roles. However, it could easily be that his time is limited in regards to when he can actually do voice work for them.
- My experience working at Funimation was unpleasant. It is well known that if one falls out of favor with certain people (including Chris Sabat) or if one tries to do anything to change the working conditions, that person will not be rehired as a voice actor. I felt threatened with not being used as a voice actor in subsequent projects if I complained about the work environment.
There is nothing to substantiate any of this. At all. No one has come forth about this other than Chuck. Rumors, especially unsubstantiated ones, aren't facts. If anyone else had come forward about any of this, then there'd be something to it. However, this is the first instance where anyone had said anything about this anywhere in the wider conversation around FUNimation. Not only that, but Chris Sabat has denied this ever happening.
- When the Dragonball Kai was being recorded in 2007, I heard rumors that actresses had been recast at Funimation for refusing sexual advances by Funimation employees. I consider these rumors credible based on my experience working at Funimation and from direct messages received from a former DBZ cast member.
- I also heard that actresses who participated in sex with Funimation/Okatron5000 employees were cast in roles. I consider these rumors credible based on my experience working at Funimation.
The recent allegations of sexual misconduct at Funimation and OkraTron 5000 are deeply disturbing and completely without merit. These libelous statements are based on groundless rumors and are meant to defame me and my company. Never in my career spanning two decades did I ever witness or participate in such conduct.https://comicbook.com/anime/news/dragon-ball-voice-actor-chris-sabat-statement-casting-allegation/
Now, to get into this.
Stephany Nadolny was a voice actress at FUNimation from 1999-2009. She voiced kid Gohan & Goku in that time, as well as had smaller parts in some other FUNimation dubs in that time. Come the dub of DBZ Kai entering preproduction in 2010 (& not 2007 like Chuck claims), she was replaced as Gohan with Colleen Clinkenbeard. She's gone into this a bit in an interview from early 2019 that, unfortunately, is not viewable anymore on YouTube for some reason, but luckily an article exists that I can pull quotes from. Here's what was said:
Rosa: “Did you feel like there were any mistakes on your end that could have led to [your being let go]? Because you’re saying this was a rumor from another co-worker that told you and the company didn’t even tell you. So, was there anything that you could foresee that you felt that maybe it was a self-sabotage kind of thing that you did?”I put it all there to read through so there's no misunderstandings here.
Nadolny: “I think what it was, it’s really hard to prove these kinds of things too, but I had been seeing somebody romantically back from like 2003-2009 and when we split he absolutely, completely freaked out and his ego was effected and he said 'I’m going to ruin your career!' So he called all my employers-”
Rosa: “And aired your business. Wow.”
Nadolny: “Yeah, aired my business or whatever. My personal life, some of it true, some of it wasn’t. And so, I think that’s what kind of led to me not being able to reprise my character, was that.”
Rosa: “I don’t want to get into it if you don’t want to, and I respect that, it’s none of my business, but I was curious because it must have been some serious stuff for them to think that then.
Nadolny: “It’s like I said, it’s a clique. Some people run around with these people, some of these people have kids together now, and they play together, they go to the state fair together. It wasn’t on purpose, but over time, I kind of got pushed out of that whole clique. And I was trying to just be professional and make it about business, but there’s a lot of people, from what I understand just from making some appearances and things like that, that are still flat-out doing this, like 'Hey these are my friends, I’m working with my friends.' I’m happy for them, but I completely feel like I was unfairly pushed out and that my personal life should have had no effect on not being able to come back. Because it really hurt, I had no idea what was going on. I was abused and threatened by this man and he said 'I’m going to ruin your career!' and 'I’m going to call everybody you ever worked for and just dog you out and brought you out.' So I think that’s why, if there’s any other reason, I guess they call that irreconcilable differences."
Nadolny plainly stated in the interview that a man she had dated & broke up with threatened to ruin her career & apparently has to some degree. The man apparently let slip private things about her that don't need to be made public. There is no confirmation that this man was Chris Sabat, or else I feel that she would've said so at some point. She literally has nothing left to lose at this point, so why not? It makes 0 sense to me that anyone could think this was Sabat. Sabat has also been married to his wife Tabitha since 2008 & has 2 kids with her. I just don't see how this could be Sabat.
Also, there's a screenshot that had gone around at the time allegedly of Nadolny telling a fan through Facebook DMs that Sabat is a bully & goes out of his way to get those who don't do things his way & that she'd turned down an advance he made on her back in 2007 & he's held a grudge against her ever since. I'm sorry, but the screenshot looks fake & using fotoforensics.com, it definitely looks like someone photoshopped it together. She's also never confirmed it to be real, or anything said in it to be true. It also doesn't go with her actual story & doesn't seem like how she'd word things. Thus, it's me belief that someone faked it to make Sabat look bad because they wanna suck Vic off.
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/928405739066765412/1229693887355027456/2019.png?ex=66309cad&is=661e27ad&hm=ab815501d5b07dfeccd54d38126f0bc9c3a9477caf6928a7924f4c91f4884888&=&format=webp&quality=lossless&width=924&height=614
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/928405739066765412/1229693887782584394/analysis.png?ex=66309cad&is=661e27ad&hm=bf612ef98220a8072676a102a8607d533f257b4bb86c7ec6db3038bc453318d9&=&format=webp&quality=lossless&width=924&height=614
Now, in terms of the "clique," this could be true. When you have people working together a lot at a place of employment, there could easily be groups that form between them. In most social settings, you'll find that kind of thing. If Stephanie wasn't in said group, that's just how things went. We don't know if there's any reason why Sabat recast Gohan other than he felt she wasn't right for the direction he wanted to take the dubs in. Further more, multiple people's parts were recast, including some of his own, not just Nadolny's. Not only had Colleen Clinkenbeard taken over for Gohan (as well as eventually kid Goku) from Nadolny, but also Android 18 from Meredith McCoy for Kai & some of the games while she was unable to reprise the role, Monica Rial took over for Bulma from Tiffany Vollmer due to Vollmer leaving FUNi for other work beforehand, Doc Morgan became the narrator, Brina Palencia took over for Chiaotzu, Chris Ayres took over for Freeza, Greg Ayres took over for Guldo, R. Bruce Elliot took over for Ginyu, Jason Liebrecht took over for Jeice, J. Michael Tatum took over for Zarbon, Brian Massey was Oolong for the first 98 episodes, Jason Douglas as King Cold, Alexis Tipton is Erasa (as well as Trunks' half of Gotenks), etc. For some reason, people nowadays are acting like Nadolny was the only one replaced when that's not the case. Hers is just confusing as to why it happened exactly. It could be for any number of reasons. Sabat probably wanted to go in another direction with it for all we know.
"Dragon Ball Super: Broly," there's no "Z" in it. Also just "Dragon Ball properties," not "Z," Chuck.
- Chris Sabat is the owner of Okratron5000 and is a voice actor at Funimation.
- Chris Sabat did most of the casting and recording for the Dragonball Z properties including for the movie Dragonball Z: Super Broly.
- Chris Sabat engaged in negotiations, either directly or through Funimation for various projects with TOEI, owner of the Dragonball Z properties.
Also, not surprised that he's involved to that degree considering he's the main dub producer & director ever since he directed the Z dub in 1999.
If the voice actors value his input, it's most likely because he's been there for a long time, he's a producer on the dubs, & has directed many DB dubs. As well as if they're newbies to the scene, they may wanna be on his good side & get more roles. This seems like something that commonly happens in the entertainment industry. I don't think this is a bad thing like Chuck may be trying to portray.
- The voice actors employed by Funimation generally consider Chris Sabat to be a de facto manager at Funimation and they believe his approval and support is vitally beneficial to succeeding at Funimation and the conventions and the converse regarding his disapproval.
- Chris Sabat has more influence at Funimation and other studios, including Roosterteeth and Toei, than Vic has ever had in the Anime industry.
So, I think that I can definitively say that Chris Sabat doesn't have a casting couch. Now, what got me on this track was that someone clip chimped a panel recording from 2015 of Sonny Strait & Matthew Mercer joking about sleeping with Sabat to get their jobs. They left out the more serious answer he gave. Ostensibly to try to add validity to the "rumors" Chuck heard.
https://youtu.be/PCBHcG0xO_s?si=jbJWGnD-A10q4i55&t=519
This whole thing is stupid & I hope this can be used as a resource to disprove all of this bullshit in the future.
Articles cited:
https://boundingintocomics.com/2019/09/04/dragon-ball-and-vegeta-voice-actor-chris-sabat-accused-of-abusive-behavior-and-exchanging-roles-for-sexual-favors/
https://boundingintocomics.com/2019/09/06/former-dragon-ball-voice-actress-stephanie-nadolny-claims-to-have-lost-roles-due-to-vengeful-ex-boyfriend-and-funimations-clique-culture/
https://comicbook.com/anime/news/dragon-ball-voice-actor-chris-sabat-statement-casting-allegation/
https://internewscast.com/celeb/who-is-tabitha-sabat-christopher-sabat-wife-kids-and-family/
2024.04.13 22:23 Eldie1 Pressured for 2nd child
I'm a 56 year old widower, and my two children are in their late 30s. I'm asking for a friend - seriously. The names and locations have been changed for obvious reasons.
Eddie and Lisa were married when Eddie finished his PhD in law school and became a prominent lawyer in Nashville somewhere around 2018. They are in their late 30's and have a daughter (Alexis) who recently turned 2 years old. Lisa knows her biological clock is ticking, and desperately wants another (a second) baby. She also believes spacing the kids by 2 years is ideal, because they would play well together. It seems Lisa has no memory of the situations that happened after Alexis was born.
Eddie doesn't want another child. Although he is the greatest fathedad I know, having Alexis was the worst and most traumatic time of his life. Lisa had a high-risk and complicated pregnancy, and she became very sick during delivery. Eddie didn't have any help when they all got home from the hospital. Although he was a new high-level partner at a law firm, they allowed him a lot of personal time - but he still had some work-from-home to do, which required time and concentration. His work was very stressful. He did however put his career on the back burner to nurse his wife back to health and to take care of his new baby. This might sound cruel, but please keep in mind, Eddie loves his daughter and will do anything for her - but he doesn't like babies. Babies cry all the time, they don't sleep through the night, they need to be fed all hours of the day and night, they need diaper changes, baths, they cry when they have cramps, etc, etc, etc... It would have been a lot different if Lisa was able to help, but he had to tend to his sick wife as well. When Lisa’s health was restored, she sank into a bad case of postpartum depression. She wasn't physically or emotionally capable of helping him. Eddie's mom came from Florida to help for a few days at a time, but it didn't help the months of not being able to sleep and Eddie's mental health deteriorated. I think he was having a nervous breakdown, and his mom and I brought him to the hospital. The doctor Baker-Acted him (put him in a mental hospital for 3 days / 72 hours). When he got home, we tried to help as much as possible, and he began counseling. Lisa refuses to join him in couples counseling and will not go herself.
Since then, Lisa has come around a lot, but she still doesn't do 'her' part - she doesn't do her share. Lisa works from home, and seems to be too busy to be a work-from-home wife and mother. Eddie will bring Alexis to daycare on his way to the office, spend 10 to 12 hours in court, depositions, and typing petitions and motions, and then have to pick up Alexis on the way home. When he gets home sometimes, dinner isn't ready and other things aren't done. Don't get me wrong - Lisa is a professional, and her job is very demanding. But during a recent trip to Florida, Lisa told Eddie, "It’s amazing how your mom can watch Alexis all day, and still find time to clean the house, wash clothes, and cook dinner for everyone." Now Lisa wants a second child. How could she possibly raise 2 kids when she doesn't know how Eddie's mom can get things done watching one child?
The thing is... Lisa doesn't remember the seriousness of the complicated delivery, losing a lot of blood, almost dying and being nursed back to health - and not being there to help Eddie raise the baby. If you tell her, she doesn't remember it being a problem. She doesn't remember the postpartum depression and being physically and emotionally unavailable for months. She doesn't remember how traumatic it was for Eddie. I don't know if she blocked it out, if she's delusional or if she just doesn't remember it exactly the way it was. Eddie didn't like babies to begin with, but thought it would be great to have 'A' child - if his wife took charge of the care of the baby. What happened was the worst thing that could have happened.
Eddie wants to move his family to Florida. There's better neighborhoods, better housing, better weather - better everything. Lisa was all for it - thinking Eddie would be okay with having another child once they moved down. She even mentioned quitting her job to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. But what if this pregnancy is complicated? What if she almost dies again (or dies)? What if she sinks into postpartum depression again? He can't depend on his aging mother to come to the rescue to be a surrogate mother or a full-time caregiver to the baby.
Finally, Lisa said she doesn't want to move to Florida if she won't get another baby, and Eddie is miserable in Tennessee. He's afraid that not having another baby will break up his marriage. Eddie loves Lisa and Alexis, and will do anything for them - except for consenting to another baby and another traumatic experience. It may be different the second time, but not likely - and not worth the gamble.
I gave you as much information as possible. I recommended telling Lisa that he may have deep-rooted fears being stuck in Tennessee, and once he gets to Florida, all of those fears may disappear and he may want another child - which could be the truth, but she doesn't want to move to Florida now. What should he do or say? His marriage isn't the greatest right now and he needs help. Please remember, Lisa refuses to join him in couples counseling and will not go herself. Thanks!!!
submitted by Eldie1 to Advice [link] [comments]
Eddie and Lisa were married when Eddie finished his PhD in law school and became a prominent lawyer in Nashville somewhere around 2018. They are in their late 30's and have a daughter (Alexis) who recently turned 2 years old. Lisa knows her biological clock is ticking, and desperately wants another (a second) baby. She also believes spacing the kids by 2 years is ideal, because they would play well together. It seems Lisa has no memory of the situations that happened after Alexis was born.
Eddie doesn't want another child. Although he is the greatest fathedad I know, having Alexis was the worst and most traumatic time of his life. Lisa had a high-risk and complicated pregnancy, and she became very sick during delivery. Eddie didn't have any help when they all got home from the hospital. Although he was a new high-level partner at a law firm, they allowed him a lot of personal time - but he still had some work-from-home to do, which required time and concentration. His work was very stressful. He did however put his career on the back burner to nurse his wife back to health and to take care of his new baby. This might sound cruel, but please keep in mind, Eddie loves his daughter and will do anything for her - but he doesn't like babies. Babies cry all the time, they don't sleep through the night, they need to be fed all hours of the day and night, they need diaper changes, baths, they cry when they have cramps, etc, etc, etc... It would have been a lot different if Lisa was able to help, but he had to tend to his sick wife as well. When Lisa’s health was restored, she sank into a bad case of postpartum depression. She wasn't physically or emotionally capable of helping him. Eddie's mom came from Florida to help for a few days at a time, but it didn't help the months of not being able to sleep and Eddie's mental health deteriorated. I think he was having a nervous breakdown, and his mom and I brought him to the hospital. The doctor Baker-Acted him (put him in a mental hospital for 3 days / 72 hours). When he got home, we tried to help as much as possible, and he began counseling. Lisa refuses to join him in couples counseling and will not go herself.
Since then, Lisa has come around a lot, but she still doesn't do 'her' part - she doesn't do her share. Lisa works from home, and seems to be too busy to be a work-from-home wife and mother. Eddie will bring Alexis to daycare on his way to the office, spend 10 to 12 hours in court, depositions, and typing petitions and motions, and then have to pick up Alexis on the way home. When he gets home sometimes, dinner isn't ready and other things aren't done. Don't get me wrong - Lisa is a professional, and her job is very demanding. But during a recent trip to Florida, Lisa told Eddie, "It’s amazing how your mom can watch Alexis all day, and still find time to clean the house, wash clothes, and cook dinner for everyone." Now Lisa wants a second child. How could she possibly raise 2 kids when she doesn't know how Eddie's mom can get things done watching one child?
The thing is... Lisa doesn't remember the seriousness of the complicated delivery, losing a lot of blood, almost dying and being nursed back to health - and not being there to help Eddie raise the baby. If you tell her, she doesn't remember it being a problem. She doesn't remember the postpartum depression and being physically and emotionally unavailable for months. She doesn't remember how traumatic it was for Eddie. I don't know if she blocked it out, if she's delusional or if she just doesn't remember it exactly the way it was. Eddie didn't like babies to begin with, but thought it would be great to have 'A' child - if his wife took charge of the care of the baby. What happened was the worst thing that could have happened.
Eddie wants to move his family to Florida. There's better neighborhoods, better housing, better weather - better everything. Lisa was all for it - thinking Eddie would be okay with having another child once they moved down. She even mentioned quitting her job to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. But what if this pregnancy is complicated? What if she almost dies again (or dies)? What if she sinks into postpartum depression again? He can't depend on his aging mother to come to the rescue to be a surrogate mother or a full-time caregiver to the baby.
Finally, Lisa said she doesn't want to move to Florida if she won't get another baby, and Eddie is miserable in Tennessee. He's afraid that not having another baby will break up his marriage. Eddie loves Lisa and Alexis, and will do anything for them - except for consenting to another baby and another traumatic experience. It may be different the second time, but not likely - and not worth the gamble.
I gave you as much information as possible. I recommended telling Lisa that he may have deep-rooted fears being stuck in Tennessee, and once he gets to Florida, all of those fears may disappear and he may want another child - which could be the truth, but she doesn't want to move to Florida now. What should he do or say? His marriage isn't the greatest right now and he needs help. Please remember, Lisa refuses to join him in couples counseling and will not go herself. Thanks!!!
2024.04.05 10:16 RaceOpposite Portia Rant...new to this group
Hello....Portia Robinson makes me so insane, i needed to find a this subreddit to scream.
I had watched GH on and off since before Robin met Casey the alien! I became devoted to watching the ahow daily again right around Carly/Jason getting married, Sonny in Nixon Falls. It took me a while to engage/understand/ care about characters, i wasnt familiar with, including Portia.
I dont know if it's the actress, her storylines or both, but she irritates me. Her only redeeming quality is her support for Trina & Curtis, but she's been manipulative towards both too. Lets not forget who suggested parebting classes to Esme
Her antics today regarding Heather pushed me over the edge. She is so unsufferable, its no wonder both of the towns big bads (Cyrus/Heather) went after her! Unfortunatly, since they did, she can add it to her "I'm a Martyvictim" antics!
I just thought it was so insane of her to go after Kevin, Laura and Alexis....i would have slapped her if I was Alexis! Her behavior wasn't acceptable for a Chief of Staff and being a provider. I really hope the writers pull back on her insufferableness.
submitted by RaceOpposite to GeneralHospital [link] [comments]
I had watched GH on and off since before Robin met Casey the alien! I became devoted to watching the ahow daily again right around Carly/Jason getting married, Sonny in Nixon Falls. It took me a while to engage/understand/ care about characters, i wasnt familiar with, including Portia.
I dont know if it's the actress, her storylines or both, but she irritates me. Her only redeeming quality is her support for Trina & Curtis, but she's been manipulative towards both too. Lets not forget who suggested parebting classes to Esme
Her antics today regarding Heather pushed me over the edge. She is so unsufferable, its no wonder both of the towns big bads (Cyrus/Heather) went after her! Unfortunatly, since they did, she can add it to her "I'm a Martyvictim" antics!
I just thought it was so insane of her to go after Kevin, Laura and Alexis....i would have slapped her if I was Alexis! Her behavior wasn't acceptable for a Chief of Staff and being a provider. I really hope the writers pull back on her insufferableness.
2024.04.04 02:21 Many_Violinist_8645 BF said I was "too fat to date" before we became official
Hello, longtime lurker here. I'm using an alt account because this is really embarrassing and I don't want this on my main. I'm using fake names for everyone ect ect. I'm sorry if this is all over the place, I'm writing to sort out my emotions. This is going to be longer than it needs to be so sorry in advance.
I (24 F) have been dating my boyfriend, Max, (23 M) for a little over a year now. We met through a mutual friend about two years ago, Alexis (23 F) who attends the same graduate program as me and is one of my roommates & is childhood friends with Max. Max and I met at a party Alexis held at our apartment and we hit it off. I have a lot of guy friends, so I thought Max just wanted friendship at first too which is fine by me but then he asked me out and that's how we started dating.
It was my first time experiencing dating someone so forward about being interested in me, I'm used to being the assertive one. Before we started going out, he would always blush around me and Alexis would tease him about it. When we did start going on dates, he was so romantic and buy me flowers. A year into our relationship and he'll still give me little gifts, and he would always text me random updates throughout the day of things that made him think of me. We both like cooking but he's the one who always washes the dishes because he knows I like doing my nails and I don't want to damage them. We were doing really well. I love him. He's really attractive and muscular, think Jason from The Good Place, and while I've been told I'm cute and I do get attention from people interested in me, I was shocked because I didn't think I was his type. I guess I was right lol. I'm trying to stay levelheaded but I'm honestly heartbroken.
Max and Alexis' old friend group from high school are visiting. I don't have a problem with them and I'll hang out with them but we aren't friends. They just seem immature and do things like "rate" girls, and talk badly about other people behind their back. They still act like they're in high school if that makes sense. We also don't see each other often, just every few months.
Anyways, Max and Alexis went out bar hopping a few days ago with this friend group. I didn't go because I was feeling tired and wanted to play video games online with my friends. Alexis sends me a video of Max drunk crying about how much he loves me and wishes I was there which I thought was funny/sweet. Half a hour later, she calls me and asks if I can pick them both up because they're both really tired but their friends want to continue. So I say OK.
When I get there, Max is throwing up in the bathroom. I say hello to everyone outside the entrance while we wait for Alexis, Max, and some other friends come out of the bathroom. His friends start teasing me about Max, then out of nowhere Cole (26 M) says that "And to think that Max said OP was just hot enough to fuck but too fat to date." Everyone went silent and when I asked Cole what the fuck that was supposed to mean, everyone started making excuses about how it was just unexpected that we were a couple and that they were just being stupid. I was fuming but then finally Alexis and Max came out. He tried to hug me and kiss me on the cheek but I just ignored him and got into the car. No one told them what Cole said. The car ride was so awkward I refused to talk to them and instead of letting Max stay the night, I dropped him off at his own place.
They kept asking me if I was OK but I only broke down when I got home with Alexis. I asked her if what Cole said was true and she said yes but that Max didn't mean it and that he just said it to save face and that their friend group was stupid and judgmental. That they were making fun of him for liking me. That they were confused as to how someone like him could be in love with me. She reiterated that Max loves me and that he only said it once while drunk before we became official, and that she and some of the others (not Cole) tore him a new one right afterwards. She said that she was sorry and that I'm one of her best friends and that Max really is a good guy who loves me he's just easily influenced. That he told her that he wants to marry me and have children with me one day. I just told her to leave me alone and cried myself to sleep.
My heart is broken. Our sex life has been great, everything has been amazing until this and now I feel so disgusting. That night he texted me that he loves me and thanked me for driving him back home. I guess that morning he found out what happened and he kept trying to call and text me and apologize. When he got off work he came by with flowers and I shut the door in his face. I heard him wait until my other roommate got home & they told him to give me space. He hasn't bothered me since then but has dropped off flowers and a letter that I haven't read. I'm not talking go him or Alexis. It's been three days. I know I'm being childish and I need to talk to him soon but I'm so ashamed. I can't stop crying, I haven't told my friends or family what happened. Alexis and their friends including Cole keep trying to apologize. I'm just bedrotting and ordering takeout. I feel so stupid.
submitted by Many_Violinist_8645 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
I (24 F) have been dating my boyfriend, Max, (23 M) for a little over a year now. We met through a mutual friend about two years ago, Alexis (23 F) who attends the same graduate program as me and is one of my roommates & is childhood friends with Max. Max and I met at a party Alexis held at our apartment and we hit it off. I have a lot of guy friends, so I thought Max just wanted friendship at first too which is fine by me but then he asked me out and that's how we started dating.
It was my first time experiencing dating someone so forward about being interested in me, I'm used to being the assertive one. Before we started going out, he would always blush around me and Alexis would tease him about it. When we did start going on dates, he was so romantic and buy me flowers. A year into our relationship and he'll still give me little gifts, and he would always text me random updates throughout the day of things that made him think of me. We both like cooking but he's the one who always washes the dishes because he knows I like doing my nails and I don't want to damage them. We were doing really well. I love him. He's really attractive and muscular, think Jason from The Good Place, and while I've been told I'm cute and I do get attention from people interested in me, I was shocked because I didn't think I was his type. I guess I was right lol. I'm trying to stay levelheaded but I'm honestly heartbroken.
Max and Alexis' old friend group from high school are visiting. I don't have a problem with them and I'll hang out with them but we aren't friends. They just seem immature and do things like "rate" girls, and talk badly about other people behind their back. They still act like they're in high school if that makes sense. We also don't see each other often, just every few months.
Anyways, Max and Alexis went out bar hopping a few days ago with this friend group. I didn't go because I was feeling tired and wanted to play video games online with my friends. Alexis sends me a video of Max drunk crying about how much he loves me and wishes I was there which I thought was funny/sweet. Half a hour later, she calls me and asks if I can pick them both up because they're both really tired but their friends want to continue. So I say OK.
When I get there, Max is throwing up in the bathroom. I say hello to everyone outside the entrance while we wait for Alexis, Max, and some other friends come out of the bathroom. His friends start teasing me about Max, then out of nowhere Cole (26 M) says that "And to think that Max said OP was just hot enough to fuck but too fat to date." Everyone went silent and when I asked Cole what the fuck that was supposed to mean, everyone started making excuses about how it was just unexpected that we were a couple and that they were just being stupid. I was fuming but then finally Alexis and Max came out. He tried to hug me and kiss me on the cheek but I just ignored him and got into the car. No one told them what Cole said. The car ride was so awkward I refused to talk to them and instead of letting Max stay the night, I dropped him off at his own place.
They kept asking me if I was OK but I only broke down when I got home with Alexis. I asked her if what Cole said was true and she said yes but that Max didn't mean it and that he just said it to save face and that their friend group was stupid and judgmental. That they were making fun of him for liking me. That they were confused as to how someone like him could be in love with me. She reiterated that Max loves me and that he only said it once while drunk before we became official, and that she and some of the others (not Cole) tore him a new one right afterwards. She said that she was sorry and that I'm one of her best friends and that Max really is a good guy who loves me he's just easily influenced. That he told her that he wants to marry me and have children with me one day. I just told her to leave me alone and cried myself to sleep.
My heart is broken. Our sex life has been great, everything has been amazing until this and now I feel so disgusting. That night he texted me that he loves me and thanked me for driving him back home. I guess that morning he found out what happened and he kept trying to call and text me and apologize. When he got off work he came by with flowers and I shut the door in his face. I heard him wait until my other roommate got home & they told him to give me space. He hasn't bothered me since then but has dropped off flowers and a letter that I haven't read. I'm not talking go him or Alexis. It's been three days. I know I'm being childish and I need to talk to him soon but I'm so ashamed. I can't stop crying, I haven't told my friends or family what happened. Alexis and their friends including Cole keep trying to apologize. I'm just bedrotting and ordering takeout. I feel so stupid.
2024.03.30 17:28 ShesOddlyMerry I am ready to "rock'em'sock'em robot" my STB FIL Am I the AH?
I will use fake names. This is long as it's complicated and a lot of backstory. Sorry. I am not used to this. Also word count kicked my butt so I can clarify if needed.
I (F33) am marrying my best friend, "Bart" (M39). He is an amazing, brilliant, hilarious, supportive partner and we've had both our "honeymoon phase" and our first rough patch and managed to make it through. We do couple counseling and have great communication sans one big topic, his family.
He is British but works and lives in Canada, I assumed for benign reasons. We had pushed back our wedding to next year and I have been enjoying the extra time for wedding prep.
We have family spread out and not everyone is able to make a trip internationally so we are having 2 separate weddings paid for by our families - which is huge relief to us. That said, its been a struggle navigating people and their feelings. For context I was pretty disowned by my family until the engagement and what I am learning is he was actively avoiding most of his.
His family is British but hails from Romania and Ukraine and family is important. His mother, Allison, was a single mom until she met his stepfather.
I have spoken to Allison over face time many times before. As I was discussing the British wedding with her, the guest list came up. My stepesister (long story I can't get into - word count), and my bff (Sunny, F 34, who I wanted as my only MOH for both weddings) are my MOHs jointly in the US and my Soon To Be SIL ( his stepsister, Alexis F 40) are the British MOHs. This was the arrangement on both sides to keep the peace.
Alexis is the sister Bart gets on with well. But there are 6 of them total. The one he both loves but doesn't care for is the 2nd youngest, Rose (now 29). Bart really didn't talk about his family much other than calling it something of a mess. His mom married when he was 16 and he went from being the only child to having 6 sisters and was kinda forced into it. He said it was overwhelming. All that to say, he moved to Canada (where we both live) for a reason and wanted the wedding here or the US but his family guilted him.
The girls were great to him and loved having a brother. The elder ones doted and protected him and the younger looked up to him and clung to him. But Rose hated having a brother. She and the youngest of the girls were still super young so Bart figured it was a phase and it would work out eventually.
It did not.
Rose still is the only of the girls to refer to him as the stepbrother making a point to tell everyone there is "no relation" and the only of them to not call his mother Mama or some variation, including the older ones. Bart said he didn't care much as a teen, as it was her choice but as an adult it bothered him but he never said anything besides giving her the option to call him her brother and he himself referring to her as his sister but she, every time, will correct him "step sister" consistently.
Things came to a head with Bart's brother Garrett (M35) from his father's side. They are in touch and love each other and Garrett was married to Barts best friend Clover (F34). Everyone expected Bart and Clover together as they were so close growing up but they remain platonic friends and never had a romance. Growing up Rose would "prank" Bart a lot but especially when Clover was around. She has cut Clover's long hair to damn near a pixie once when Clover fell asleep studying on the couch, shredded her books, poked holes in pictures of her, and even once sent Clover a cruel message via Barts email saying he didn't want to be her friend anymore and lots of racist remarks (Clover's heritage is Indian). Almost everyone but Bart chalked it up to "she's little" (even when she did some of it past the age of 10) and shouldn't be punished just talked to.
Rose apparently really liked Garrett though. They met when Rose was a young teen and the other girls made fun of her for having a crush on him. Idk if it's true as this is all 2nd hand info. Clover and Garrett have been a couple "forever" I am told, until they almost divorced a few months ago when Garrett asserted Clover cheated. Bart was shocked and in disbelief. He swore up and down Clover would never do this. We later found out that it was Rose at the center of it. She had set up an elaborate lie and used AI and a fake text app to frame Clover. Garrett cut ties with Rose and went NC, and Bart went LC.
Okay, I think we're all caught up, sorry that's a lot. The guest list. Allison and Alexis helped me put together the Brisitsh one and Rose was on it. I was a little surprised as Garrett and Clover are too so I asked Bart. Bart said Rose is not to attend the wedding, she is invited to the engagement party and pre-wedding stuff but not the wedding. Garrett and Clover will be in a different country and will only be able to make it back ro attend the wedding and Bart does not want Rose near them.
I went back to Allison and said this but she became flustered muttering that it was our choice but this will cause a lot of drama. I said this is what Bart wants and she said okay and we moved on. I got a text from Alexis (who is here with me for some wedding prep) a few weeks ago asking what I have against Rose.
I have nothing "against" Rose but in retrospect, I had a lot to choose from. Rose has been nothing but rude to me since we started even talking. I replied with a question mark and the reply back was "the wedding, dummy, did you think I wouldn't find out?". I replied "You don't need to name call. I was asking for clarification. I won't be treated that way." and it devolved into Alexis going off on me, calling me an "American whore" and saying I came from a poor education system, calling me fat and stupid, and more. My favorite of the tirade was "You 🐶. Your 🐱 is probably rotting from (my SA)" that's when I told her she will not be my MOH if that's her opinion of me, took screenshots and blocked her.
She called Bart before I could talk to him and cried and said she got uupset and was sorry as she is just a loving big sister and is protective of Rose. Bart sat me down and told me this and that Alexis seemed stressed but that's no excuse and he loves his family but this is our wedding and he won't have anything or anyone there or involved unless we agree. "so what do you want to do?" is what he asked me. I decided to call Allison for advice. Allison said Alexis is like this. She is protective of her family and has a scrappy soul sometimes leaping over better options to defend those she loves...that she was like this against Allison too once, but this crossed lines she couldn't in good conscience ask me to simply forgive so it's up to me.
Alexis came over and apologized and just originally wanted to know what was going on but got ahead of herself and said things she didn't even mean. I decided to bury it but told her Sunny was taking the lead as MOH, that Alexis is still called a MOH but that is a title only and she might consider cutting her trip here visiting short. I explained why Rose was not invited and Alexis just cursed and said "right of course. Makes sense." and said bye.
Now, Rose and 2 other sisters started a campaign online accusing Bart of choosing 🐱 over the family. They started messaging and calling him nonstop. Rose started messaging me telling me Bart is defending Clover because he is sleeping with her and I am just his "American side piece" he keeps for appearances.
Bart is stressed, but he's a surgeon, so he outs on this "costume" of calm often. I know him well enough to see through it. He said he was taking time off work and needed a break. We're not religious so we are taking the long Easter holiday to visit his brother and Clover. Bart got so upset when the topic of this kerfuffle came up and he just left the room. I hate that he's feeling so torn and upset.
I am a pacifist to a point but I am about to go off and Bart knows it. He said he can step in but I told him that I am about to handle it myself. Allison has made it clear this is intolerable and she's been quiet only to let me tell her what I want to happen. Would I be the AH for starting trouble with my new family? I want to keep the peace but I am overwhelmed.
submitted by ShesOddlyMerry to AITAH [link] [comments]
I (F33) am marrying my best friend, "Bart" (M39). He is an amazing, brilliant, hilarious, supportive partner and we've had both our "honeymoon phase" and our first rough patch and managed to make it through. We do couple counseling and have great communication sans one big topic, his family.
He is British but works and lives in Canada, I assumed for benign reasons. We had pushed back our wedding to next year and I have been enjoying the extra time for wedding prep.
We have family spread out and not everyone is able to make a trip internationally so we are having 2 separate weddings paid for by our families - which is huge relief to us. That said, its been a struggle navigating people and their feelings. For context I was pretty disowned by my family until the engagement and what I am learning is he was actively avoiding most of his.
His family is British but hails from Romania and Ukraine and family is important. His mother, Allison, was a single mom until she met his stepfather.
I have spoken to Allison over face time many times before. As I was discussing the British wedding with her, the guest list came up. My stepesister (long story I can't get into - word count), and my bff (Sunny, F 34, who I wanted as my only MOH for both weddings) are my MOHs jointly in the US and my Soon To Be SIL ( his stepsister, Alexis F 40) are the British MOHs. This was the arrangement on both sides to keep the peace.
Alexis is the sister Bart gets on with well. But there are 6 of them total. The one he both loves but doesn't care for is the 2nd youngest, Rose (now 29). Bart really didn't talk about his family much other than calling it something of a mess. His mom married when he was 16 and he went from being the only child to having 6 sisters and was kinda forced into it. He said it was overwhelming. All that to say, he moved to Canada (where we both live) for a reason and wanted the wedding here or the US but his family guilted him.
The girls were great to him and loved having a brother. The elder ones doted and protected him and the younger looked up to him and clung to him. But Rose hated having a brother. She and the youngest of the girls were still super young so Bart figured it was a phase and it would work out eventually.
It did not.
Rose still is the only of the girls to refer to him as the stepbrother making a point to tell everyone there is "no relation" and the only of them to not call his mother Mama or some variation, including the older ones. Bart said he didn't care much as a teen, as it was her choice but as an adult it bothered him but he never said anything besides giving her the option to call him her brother and he himself referring to her as his sister but she, every time, will correct him "step sister" consistently.
Things came to a head with Bart's brother Garrett (M35) from his father's side. They are in touch and love each other and Garrett was married to Barts best friend Clover (F34). Everyone expected Bart and Clover together as they were so close growing up but they remain platonic friends and never had a romance. Growing up Rose would "prank" Bart a lot but especially when Clover was around. She has cut Clover's long hair to damn near a pixie once when Clover fell asleep studying on the couch, shredded her books, poked holes in pictures of her, and even once sent Clover a cruel message via Barts email saying he didn't want to be her friend anymore and lots of racist remarks (Clover's heritage is Indian). Almost everyone but Bart chalked it up to "she's little" (even when she did some of it past the age of 10) and shouldn't be punished just talked to.
Rose apparently really liked Garrett though. They met when Rose was a young teen and the other girls made fun of her for having a crush on him. Idk if it's true as this is all 2nd hand info. Clover and Garrett have been a couple "forever" I am told, until they almost divorced a few months ago when Garrett asserted Clover cheated. Bart was shocked and in disbelief. He swore up and down Clover would never do this. We later found out that it was Rose at the center of it. She had set up an elaborate lie and used AI and a fake text app to frame Clover. Garrett cut ties with Rose and went NC, and Bart went LC.
Okay, I think we're all caught up, sorry that's a lot. The guest list. Allison and Alexis helped me put together the Brisitsh one and Rose was on it. I was a little surprised as Garrett and Clover are too so I asked Bart. Bart said Rose is not to attend the wedding, she is invited to the engagement party and pre-wedding stuff but not the wedding. Garrett and Clover will be in a different country and will only be able to make it back ro attend the wedding and Bart does not want Rose near them.
I went back to Allison and said this but she became flustered muttering that it was our choice but this will cause a lot of drama. I said this is what Bart wants and she said okay and we moved on. I got a text from Alexis (who is here with me for some wedding prep) a few weeks ago asking what I have against Rose.
I have nothing "against" Rose but in retrospect, I had a lot to choose from. Rose has been nothing but rude to me since we started even talking. I replied with a question mark and the reply back was "the wedding, dummy, did you think I wouldn't find out?". I replied "You don't need to name call. I was asking for clarification. I won't be treated that way." and it devolved into Alexis going off on me, calling me an "American whore" and saying I came from a poor education system, calling me fat and stupid, and more. My favorite of the tirade was "You 🐶. Your 🐱 is probably rotting from (my SA)" that's when I told her she will not be my MOH if that's her opinion of me, took screenshots and blocked her.
She called Bart before I could talk to him and cried and said she got uupset and was sorry as she is just a loving big sister and is protective of Rose. Bart sat me down and told me this and that Alexis seemed stressed but that's no excuse and he loves his family but this is our wedding and he won't have anything or anyone there or involved unless we agree. "so what do you want to do?" is what he asked me. I decided to call Allison for advice. Allison said Alexis is like this. She is protective of her family and has a scrappy soul sometimes leaping over better options to defend those she loves...that she was like this against Allison too once, but this crossed lines she couldn't in good conscience ask me to simply forgive so it's up to me.
Alexis came over and apologized and just originally wanted to know what was going on but got ahead of herself and said things she didn't even mean. I decided to bury it but told her Sunny was taking the lead as MOH, that Alexis is still called a MOH but that is a title only and she might consider cutting her trip here visiting short. I explained why Rose was not invited and Alexis just cursed and said "right of course. Makes sense." and said bye.
Now, Rose and 2 other sisters started a campaign online accusing Bart of choosing 🐱 over the family. They started messaging and calling him nonstop. Rose started messaging me telling me Bart is defending Clover because he is sleeping with her and I am just his "American side piece" he keeps for appearances.
Bart is stressed, but he's a surgeon, so he outs on this "costume" of calm often. I know him well enough to see through it. He said he was taking time off work and needed a break. We're not religious so we are taking the long Easter holiday to visit his brother and Clover. Bart got so upset when the topic of this kerfuffle came up and he just left the room. I hate that he's feeling so torn and upset.
I am a pacifist to a point but I am about to go off and Bart knows it. He said he can step in but I told him that I am about to handle it myself. Allison has made it clear this is intolerable and she's been quiet only to let me tell her what I want to happen. Would I be the AH for starting trouble with my new family? I want to keep the peace but I am overwhelmed.
2024.03.30 15:55 miriarhodan 2024 Bingo reviews
 | These are (hopefully) mostly spoiler-free reviews of the books I read for Bingo this year. I quite enjoyed the process again, though I had a bit more problems to find books (particularly for Superheroes, Horror and Druids). submitted by miriarhodan to Fantasy [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/1t89s3snjhrc1.png?width=1722&format=png&auto=webp&s=b6f02d4aab24e819d984f8541d156ba7d8325658 Title with a Title (HM: No royalty) Saint Death’s Daughter by C.S.E Cooney - 5.5/5
Dreadnought by April Daniels - 3.5/5
The Kingdom of Back by Marie Lu - 3.5/5
Little, Big by John Crowley - 5/5
Terciel and Elinor by Garth Nix - 3/5
Dreamstorm by M.C.A. Hogarth - 4.5/5
The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster - 4.5/5
The Angel of the Crows by Katherine Addison - 5/5
Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman - 3.5/5
Trail of Lightning by Rebecca Roanhorse - 3/5
The Wandering Inn 8 by pirateaba - 4.5/5
The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty - 4/5
Mortal Follies by Alexis Hall - 4/5
The Traveler’s Gate by Will Wight - 4.5/5
Binti trilogy by Nnedi Okorafor - 4.5/5
A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin - 5/5
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson - 3.5/5
The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle - 5/5
The Return of Fitzroy Angursell by Victoria Goddard - 5/5
The Stars Undying by Emery Robin - 3.5/5
The Drowned Woods by Emily Lloyd-Jones - 4/5
The Monster Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson - 4/5
Dreamer’s Pool by Juliet Marilier - 4.5/5
A Psalm for the Wild-Built & A Prayer for the Crown-Shy by Becky Chambers - 5/5 & 4/5
Making Money by Terry Pratchett - 4.5/5
|
2024.03.30 09:23 Xatz41 St Alexis, the Man of God
St Alexis was born at Rome into the family of the pious and poverty-loving Euphemianus and Aglais. The couple was childless for a long time and constantly prayed the Lord to grant them a child. And the Lord consoled the couple with the birth of their son Alexis.
At six years of age the child began to read and successfully studied the mundane sciences, but it was with particular diligence that he read Holy Scripture. When he was a young man, he began to imitate his parents: he fasted strictly, distributed alms and beneath his fine clothing he secretly wore a hair shirt. Early on there burned within him the desire to leave the world and serve God. His parents, however, had arranged for Alexis to marry a beautiful and virtuous bride.
On his wedding night, Alexis gave her his ring and his belt (which were very valuable) and said, "Keep these things, Beloved, and may the Lord be with us until His grace provides us with something better." Secretly leaving his home, he boarded a ship sailing for Mesopotamia.
Arriving in the city of Edessa, where the Icon of the Lord "Not-made-by-Hands" (August 16) was preserved, Alexis sold everything that he had, distributed the money to the poor and began to live near the church of the Most Holy Theotokos under a portico. The saint used a portion of the alms he received to buy bread and water, and he distributed the rest to the aged and infirm. Each Sunday he received the Holy Mysteries.
The parents sought the missing Alexis everywhere, but without success. The servants sent by Euphemianus also arrived in Edessa, but they did not recognize the beggar sitting at the portico as their master. His body was withered by fasting, his comeliness vanished, his stature diminished. The saint recognized them and gave thanks to the Lord that he received alms from his own servants.
The inconsolable mother of St Alexis confined herself in her room, incessantly praying for her son. His wife also grieved with her in-laws.
St Alexis dwelt in Edessa for seventeen years. Once, the Mother of God spoke to the sacristan of the church where the saint lived: "Lead into My church that Man of God, worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven. His prayer rises up to God like fragrant incense, and the Holy Spirit rests upon him." The sacristan began to search for such a man, but was not able to find him for a long time. Then he prayed to the Most Holy Theotokos, beseeching Her to clear up his confusion. Again a voice from the icon proclaimed that the Man of God was the beggar who sat in the church portico.
The sacristan found St Alexis and brought him into the church. Many recognized him and began to praise him. The saint secretly boarded a ship bound for Cilicia, intending to visit the church of St Paul in Tarsus. But God ordained otherwise. A storm took the ship far to the West and it reached the coast of Italy. The saint journeyed to Rome and decided to live in his own house. Unrecognized, he humbly asked his father's permission to settle in some corner of his courtyard. Euphemianus settled Alexis in a specially constructed cell and gave orders to feed him from his table.
Living at his parental home, the saint continued to fast and he spent day and night at prayer. He humbly endured insults and jeering from the servants of his father. The cell of Alexis was opposite his wife's windows, and the ascetic suffered grievously when he heard her weeping. Only his immeasurable love for God helped the saint endure this torment. St Alexis dwelt at the house of his parents for seventeen years and the Lord revealed to him the day of his death. Then the saint, taking paper and ink, wrote certain things that only his wife and parents would know. He also asked them to forgive him for the pain he had caused them.
On the day of St Alexis' death in 411, Archbishop Innocent (402-417) was serving Liturgy in the presence of the emperor Honorius (395-423). During the services a Voice was heard from the altar: "Come unto Me, all ye who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Mt.11:28). All those present fell to the ground in terror.
The Voice continued: "On Friday morning the Man of God comes forth from the body; have him pray for the city, that you may remain untroubled." They began to search throughout Rome, but they did not find the saint. Thursday evening the Pope was serving Vigil in the Church of St Peter. He asked the Lord to show them where to find the Man of God.
After Liturgy the Voice was heard again in the temple: "Seek the Man of God in the house of Euphemianus." All hastened there, but the saint was already dead. His face shone like the face of an angel, and his hand clasped the paper, and they were unable to take it. They placed the saint's body on a cot, covered with costly coverings. The Pope and the Emperor bent their knees and turned to the saint, as to one yet alive, asking him to open his hand. And the saint heard their prayer. When the letter was read, the righteous one's wife and parents tearfully venerated his holy relics.
The body of the saint was placed in the center of the city. The emperor and the Pope carried the body of the saint into the church, where it remained for a whole week, and then was placed in a marble crypt. A fragrant myrrh began to flow from the holy relics, bestowing healing upon the sick.
The venerable relics of St Alexis, the Man of God, were buried in the church of St Boniface. The relics were uncovered in the year 1216.
The Life of St Alexis, the Man of God, was always very popular in Russia.
submitted by Xatz41 to OrthodoxGreece [link] [comments]
At six years of age the child began to read and successfully studied the mundane sciences, but it was with particular diligence that he read Holy Scripture. When he was a young man, he began to imitate his parents: he fasted strictly, distributed alms and beneath his fine clothing he secretly wore a hair shirt. Early on there burned within him the desire to leave the world and serve God. His parents, however, had arranged for Alexis to marry a beautiful and virtuous bride.
On his wedding night, Alexis gave her his ring and his belt (which were very valuable) and said, "Keep these things, Beloved, and may the Lord be with us until His grace provides us with something better." Secretly leaving his home, he boarded a ship sailing for Mesopotamia.
Arriving in the city of Edessa, where the Icon of the Lord "Not-made-by-Hands" (August 16) was preserved, Alexis sold everything that he had, distributed the money to the poor and began to live near the church of the Most Holy Theotokos under a portico. The saint used a portion of the alms he received to buy bread and water, and he distributed the rest to the aged and infirm. Each Sunday he received the Holy Mysteries.
The parents sought the missing Alexis everywhere, but without success. The servants sent by Euphemianus also arrived in Edessa, but they did not recognize the beggar sitting at the portico as their master. His body was withered by fasting, his comeliness vanished, his stature diminished. The saint recognized them and gave thanks to the Lord that he received alms from his own servants.
The inconsolable mother of St Alexis confined herself in her room, incessantly praying for her son. His wife also grieved with her in-laws.
St Alexis dwelt in Edessa for seventeen years. Once, the Mother of God spoke to the sacristan of the church where the saint lived: "Lead into My church that Man of God, worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven. His prayer rises up to God like fragrant incense, and the Holy Spirit rests upon him." The sacristan began to search for such a man, but was not able to find him for a long time. Then he prayed to the Most Holy Theotokos, beseeching Her to clear up his confusion. Again a voice from the icon proclaimed that the Man of God was the beggar who sat in the church portico.
The sacristan found St Alexis and brought him into the church. Many recognized him and began to praise him. The saint secretly boarded a ship bound for Cilicia, intending to visit the church of St Paul in Tarsus. But God ordained otherwise. A storm took the ship far to the West and it reached the coast of Italy. The saint journeyed to Rome and decided to live in his own house. Unrecognized, he humbly asked his father's permission to settle in some corner of his courtyard. Euphemianus settled Alexis in a specially constructed cell and gave orders to feed him from his table.
Living at his parental home, the saint continued to fast and he spent day and night at prayer. He humbly endured insults and jeering from the servants of his father. The cell of Alexis was opposite his wife's windows, and the ascetic suffered grievously when he heard her weeping. Only his immeasurable love for God helped the saint endure this torment. St Alexis dwelt at the house of his parents for seventeen years and the Lord revealed to him the day of his death. Then the saint, taking paper and ink, wrote certain things that only his wife and parents would know. He also asked them to forgive him for the pain he had caused them.
On the day of St Alexis' death in 411, Archbishop Innocent (402-417) was serving Liturgy in the presence of the emperor Honorius (395-423). During the services a Voice was heard from the altar: "Come unto Me, all ye who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Mt.11:28). All those present fell to the ground in terror.
The Voice continued: "On Friday morning the Man of God comes forth from the body; have him pray for the city, that you may remain untroubled." They began to search throughout Rome, but they did not find the saint. Thursday evening the Pope was serving Vigil in the Church of St Peter. He asked the Lord to show them where to find the Man of God.
After Liturgy the Voice was heard again in the temple: "Seek the Man of God in the house of Euphemianus." All hastened there, but the saint was already dead. His face shone like the face of an angel, and his hand clasped the paper, and they were unable to take it. They placed the saint's body on a cot, covered with costly coverings. The Pope and the Emperor bent their knees and turned to the saint, as to one yet alive, asking him to open his hand. And the saint heard their prayer. When the letter was read, the righteous one's wife and parents tearfully venerated his holy relics.
The body of the saint was placed in the center of the city. The emperor and the Pope carried the body of the saint into the church, where it remained for a whole week, and then was placed in a marble crypt. A fragrant myrrh began to flow from the holy relics, bestowing healing upon the sick.
The venerable relics of St Alexis, the Man of God, were buried in the church of St Boniface. The relics were uncovered in the year 1216.
The Life of St Alexis, the Man of God, was always very popular in Russia.
2024.03.28 17:40 monaches Islamic conquest
Myth: ''The Qur’an teaches believers to take up arms only in self-defense.''
Quran:
Fight until there is no more fitnah, and [until] the religion, all of it, is for Allah. 8:39
The true religion must prevail over all religions 9:33
Allah has promised to make the believers rulers on earth. 24:55
And that you will inherit their lands and their houses and their wealth. 33:27
Believers have inherited the earth, and can reside where they please. 39:74
Don't call for peace when we have the upper hand. Allah is with you. 47:35
Allah loves those who fight for Him in orderly ranks. 61:4
A good woman is one who prays and says, “Deliver me from the unbeliever.” 66:11
Allah has subjected the earth to you [believers]. 67:15
Allah says: “Pray for victory over the disbelievers”. 2:89
Finally, Allah gives victory over the earth to the righteous. 7:128
Allah will perfect His light [faith on earth]. 9:32
Allah has the true religion to make it triumphant. 9:33
It is we who will inherit the earth. 7:40 PM
Mo is sent to make Islam superior over all religions. 48:28
Allah will perfect His light [faith on earth]. 61:8
Allah wants Islam to triumph over all other faiths. 61:9
These quran verses would seem to indicate that the war must continue until the human kind is Islamic or under the hegemony of Islamic law.
The above Quranic verses have marked history:
570 – Muhammad was born in Mecca 594 - Muhammad became the manager of the business of Lady Khadija. 595 - Muhammad married Hadrat Khadija. 610 – Muhammad had a religious experience on Mount Hira. 622 – About 75 converts from Medina took the two Pledges of al-Aqaba, professing to Islam and to protect Muhammad from all danger. 622 – The Hijra: emigration of Muhammad and his followers to Yathrib ( al-Madina). Foundation of the first Islamic community; social and economic reforms. Starting point of the Islamic calendar. 624 – Muhammad broke with his Jewish supporters because they refused to recognize him as a prophet and adopt Islam. He chose now to emphasize the Arabness
624 – Battle of Badr, Muhammad and his followers defeated an army from Mecca. This battle was Mohammed’s first real victory. He owed it chiefly to the Ansar. The Ansar, or Medina champions, indeed might be rated the real founders of Islam. 627 – Meccan leader Abu Sufyan laid siege to Muhammad’s forces in Medina during the battle of the Trench. He was unsuccessful. Muhammad suspected the Banu Quraiza Jews of helping the Meccans. The men, six hundred in number, had their hands bound behind their backs and were confined in one of their immense houses, where they passed the night in reciting psalms and in prayer. The next morning Mohammed went to the marketplace and ordered deep trenches to be made. The men were led to the brink, one by one, with their hands tied behind their backs, their heads were hewn with sabers, and they were thrown into the pits. The slaughter lasted the whole day and was carried on by torchlight. 630 – An army of 30,000 Muslims marched on Mecca which surrendered. 632: Death of Muhammad. His father-in-law, Abu Bakr, and Umar devised a system to allow Islam to sustain religious and political stability. Accepting the name of caliph (“deputy of the Prophet”), Abu-Bakr begins a military exhibition to enforce the caliph’s authority over Arabian followers of Muhammad. Abu Bakr then moved northward, defeating Byzantine and Persian forces. Abu-Bakr died two years later and Umar succeeded him as the second caliph, launching a new campaign against the neighboring empires.
633 – Battle of Yamama. It is said that the 70 Muslims who had memorized the Quran were killed in the battle, including Salim. He was one of the few authorized to teach it while Muhammad lived. At Umar’s insistence, Abu Bakr ordered the collection of the scattered pieces of the Quran into one copy, which has since been lost. 633 – Muslims conquer Syria and Iraq. 634 – Victory against the Byzantines in Palestine. 634-644 – Umar reigns as the second caliph. The Muslims subjugate Egypt, Palestine, Syria, Mesopotamia and Persia. Garrisons are established in the conquered lands, and the Muslim rulers begin to take control of financial organisation. 635 – Muslims begin the conquest of Persia and Syria 635 – Arab Muslims capture the city of Damascus 636-637 – Arab domination of Syria 637 – The Arabs occupy the Persian capital of Ctesiphon. By 651, the entire Persian realm would come under the rule of Islam and continued its expansion.
637 – Jerusalem falls to Muslim forces. The Umayyad Caliphs commission the construction of the al-Aqsa Mosque and Dome of the Rock. The Mosque was completed in 688, the Dome in 692. 638 – Caliph Umar I enters Jerusalem 639 – Muslims conquer Egypt and Persia 641 – Islam spreads into Egypt 641 – Muslims conquer Alexandria 649 – Muawiya I leads raid against Cyprus sacking the capital Salamis-Constantia 652 – Sicily is attacked by Muslims 653 – Quran (or Koran – 114 suras) compiled by Uthman, the third caliph (reign 644 to 656) 653 – Muawiya I leads raid against Rhodes 654 – Muawiya I conquers Cyprus 655 – Battle of the Masts 661 Muawiya moves capital from Mecca to Damascus
662 – Egypt falls to the Umayyad and Abbasid caliphates 667 – Sicily is attacked by Muslims; Arabs occupy Chalcedon. 668 – First siege of Constantinople 669 – Muslim conquest reaches Morocco 672 – Muslims capture the island of Rhodes 674 – Arab conquest reaches Indus River 698 – Muslims capture Carthage in Tunisia. 700 – Muslims raid Island of Sicily 711 – Muslims conquest of Sindh in Afghanistan 711 – Battle of Guadalate , Spain 712 – Conquest of Andulusia 715 – Muslim conquest of Spain 716 – Muslims captured Lisbon 717 – Cordova becomes capital of Andalusia (Spain); second siege of Constantinople. 719 – Muslims attack Septimania in Southern France 721 – Muslims cross the Pyrenees 722 – Battle of Covadonga First defeat of Muslims by Christians 724 – Muslims raid southern France and capture Carcassone and Nimes 725 – Muslim forces occupy Nimes, France 730 – Muslim forces occupy Narbonne and Avignon
732 – Battle of Tours (Christian Victory) – With perhaps 1,500 soldiers, Charles Martel halts a Muslim force of around 40,000 to 60,000 cavalry under Abd el Rahman Al Ghafiqi. Muslims call it Balat al-Shuhada, the Highway of Martyrs, and treat it as a minor engagement. 735 – Muslim invaders capture Arles in France 750 – Abbasids move capital to Baghdad (see map) 756 – The Emirate of Cordova is established 759 – Pippin III ends Muslim incursions in France 792 – Hisham I calls for a Jihad Thousands heed his call to cross the Pyrenees to subjugate France. Many cities are destroyed 800 – North Africa falls under the rule of the Aghlabi dynasty of Tunis. 801 – Vikings begin selling slaves to Muslims. 813 – Muslims attack the Civi Vecchia near Rome 816 – The Moors support the Basques against the Franks 827 – Sicily is invaded by Muslims 831 – Muslims capture Palermo and make it their capital 838 – Muslim raiders sack Marseille 841 – Muslim forces capture Bari (in Italy) 846 – Muslim raiders attack areas near Ostia and Rome. Some enter Rome and damage the Churches of St. Peter and St. Paul. The Leonine Wall is built to discourage further Attacks. 849 – Battle of Ostia (Christian Victory) 850 – Perfectus, a Christian priest in Muslim Cordova is executed; the first of many. 851 – Young Christians are executed for insulting the Prophet Muhammed 858 – Muslim raiders attack Constantinople 859 – Muslim invaders capture Castrogiovanni slaughtering several thousands 868 – The Sattarid dynasty extended Muslim control throughout most of Persia. 869 – Arabs capture the island of Malta 870 – Muslim invaders capture Syracuse, Italy. 876 – Muslims pillage Campagna in Italy 879 – The Seljuk Empire unites Mesopotamia and a large portion of Persia 884 – Muslims invading Italy burn the monastery of Monte Cassino to the ground 900 – The Fatimid Dynasty assumes control of Egypt 902 – The Muslim conquest of Sicily is completed when the Christian city of Toorminia is captured 909 – Sicily comes under control of the Fatimids 909 – The Fatimid Dynasty assumes control of Egypt 909 – Muslims control all the passes in the Alps between France and Italy cutting off passage between the two countries
911 – Muslims control all the passes in the Alps between France and Italy 920 – Muslim forces cross the Pyrenees, enter Gascony and reach as far as the gates of Toulouse 972 – The Fatimids of Egypt conquer North Africa 981 – Ramiro III, king of Leon, is defeated at Rueda, Spain 985 – Al-Mansur Ibn Abi Aamir sacks Barcelona 994 – The monastery of Monte Cassino is destroyed a second time by Arabs 997 – Under the leadership of Almanzar, Muslim forces march out of the city of Cordova and head north to capture Christian lands. 997 – Muslim forces burn Compostela to the ground [ Spain ] 1004 – Arab raiders sack the Italian city of Pisa 1009 – The Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem is destroyed by Muslim armies 1009 – Caliph Al-Hakim bi-Amr Allah orders the Holy Sepulcher and all Christian buildings in Jerusalem be destroyed 1012 – Caliph Al-Hakim bi-Amr Allah orders the destruction of all Christian and Jewish houses of worship in his lands 1012 – Berber forces capture Cordova and order that half the population be executed 1013 – Jews expelled from the Umayyad Caliphate of Cordova, then ruled by Sulaimann. 1015 – Arab Muslim forces conquer Sardinia 1023 – Muslims expel the Berber rulers from Cordova and install Abd er-Rahman V as caliph. 1038 – The Seljuk Turks become established in Persia. 1042 – The rise of the Seljuk Turks begins. 1055 – Seljuk Turks capture Baghdad. 1056 – The Almoravid (al-Murabitun) Dynasty begins its rise to power. 1064 – The Seljuk Turks conquer Christian Armenia 1070 – Seljuk Turks capture Jerusalem and begin persecuting Christian Pilgrims 1071–1085 – Seljuk Turks conquer most of Syria and Palestine 1071 – Battle of Manzikert 1073 – Seljuk Turks conquer Ankara 1078 – Seljuk Turks capture Nicaea 1084 – Seljuk Turks conquer Antioch 1086 – Battle of Zallaca – Spanish forces defeated by the Moors and their Berber allies. 1088 – Patzinak Turks begin forming settlements between the Danube and the Balkans 1090 – Granada captured by Yusuf Ibn Tashfin 1091 – Cordova is captured by the Almoravids
———————————————————————
1095 – First Crusade. After 450 years of bloodshed, Pope Urban II called upon the kings of Christendom to send a military expedition to regain the Holy Lands, which had been taken by the Muslim conquest of the Levant 1. At the same time, the Byzantine emperor Alexis I (1081 to 1118) had asked Urban II for help against the invading Turks. Jerusalem was re-captured in 1099.Islam would not suffer a naval defeat by the Europeans until the battle of Lepanto in 1571. http://www.thelatinlibrary.com/imperialism/notes/islamchron.html and other sources.
1 Levant**:** the areas around the eastern Mediterranean, including Asia Minor, Egypt, Palestine, Syria, Lebanon, Turkey, Iraq, and Iran.
submitted by monaches to Islam_quotes [link] [comments]
Quran:
Fight until there is no more fitnah, and [until] the religion, all of it, is for Allah. 8:39
The true religion must prevail over all religions 9:33
Allah has promised to make the believers rulers on earth. 24:55
And that you will inherit their lands and their houses and their wealth. 33:27
Believers have inherited the earth, and can reside where they please. 39:74
Don't call for peace when we have the upper hand. Allah is with you. 47:35
Allah loves those who fight for Him in orderly ranks. 61:4
A good woman is one who prays and says, “Deliver me from the unbeliever.” 66:11
Allah has subjected the earth to you [believers]. 67:15
Allah says: “Pray for victory over the disbelievers”. 2:89
Finally, Allah gives victory over the earth to the righteous. 7:128
Allah will perfect His light [faith on earth]. 9:32
Allah has the true religion to make it triumphant. 9:33
It is we who will inherit the earth. 7:40 PM
Mo is sent to make Islam superior over all religions. 48:28
Allah will perfect His light [faith on earth]. 61:8
Allah wants Islam to triumph over all other faiths. 61:9
These quran verses would seem to indicate that the war must continue until the human kind is Islamic or under the hegemony of Islamic law.
570 – Muhammad was born in Mecca 594 - Muhammad became the manager of the business of Lady Khadija. 595 - Muhammad married Hadrat Khadija. 610 – Muhammad had a religious experience on Mount Hira. 622 – About 75 converts from Medina took the two Pledges of al-Aqaba, professing to Islam and to protect Muhammad from all danger. 622 – The Hijra: emigration of Muhammad and his followers to Yathrib ( al-Madina). Foundation of the first Islamic community; social and economic reforms. Starting point of the Islamic calendar. 624 – Muhammad broke with his Jewish supporters because they refused to recognize him as a prophet and adopt Islam. He chose now to emphasize the Arabness
624 – Battle of Badr, Muhammad and his followers defeated an army from Mecca. This battle was Mohammed’s first real victory. He owed it chiefly to the Ansar. The Ansar, or Medina champions, indeed might be rated the real founders of Islam. 627 – Meccan leader Abu Sufyan laid siege to Muhammad’s forces in Medina during the battle of the Trench. He was unsuccessful. Muhammad suspected the Banu Quraiza Jews of helping the Meccans. The men, six hundred in number, had their hands bound behind their backs and were confined in one of their immense houses, where they passed the night in reciting psalms and in prayer. The next morning Mohammed went to the marketplace and ordered deep trenches to be made. The men were led to the brink, one by one, with their hands tied behind their backs, their heads were hewn with sabers, and they were thrown into the pits. The slaughter lasted the whole day and was carried on by torchlight. 630 – An army of 30,000 Muslims marched on Mecca which surrendered. 632: Death of Muhammad. His father-in-law, Abu Bakr, and Umar devised a system to allow Islam to sustain religious and political stability. Accepting the name of caliph (“deputy of the Prophet”), Abu-Bakr begins a military exhibition to enforce the caliph’s authority over Arabian followers of Muhammad. Abu Bakr then moved northward, defeating Byzantine and Persian forces. Abu-Bakr died two years later and Umar succeeded him as the second caliph, launching a new campaign against the neighboring empires.
633 – Battle of Yamama. It is said that the 70 Muslims who had memorized the Quran were killed in the battle, including Salim. He was one of the few authorized to teach it while Muhammad lived. At Umar’s insistence, Abu Bakr ordered the collection of the scattered pieces of the Quran into one copy, which has since been lost. 633 – Muslims conquer Syria and Iraq. 634 – Victory against the Byzantines in Palestine. 634-644 – Umar reigns as the second caliph. The Muslims subjugate Egypt, Palestine, Syria, Mesopotamia and Persia. Garrisons are established in the conquered lands, and the Muslim rulers begin to take control of financial organisation. 635 – Muslims begin the conquest of Persia and Syria 635 – Arab Muslims capture the city of Damascus 636-637 – Arab domination of Syria 637 – The Arabs occupy the Persian capital of Ctesiphon. By 651, the entire Persian realm would come under the rule of Islam and continued its expansion.
637 – Jerusalem falls to Muslim forces. The Umayyad Caliphs commission the construction of the al-Aqsa Mosque and Dome of the Rock. The Mosque was completed in 688, the Dome in 692. 638 – Caliph Umar I enters Jerusalem 639 – Muslims conquer Egypt and Persia 641 – Islam spreads into Egypt 641 – Muslims conquer Alexandria 649 – Muawiya I leads raid against Cyprus sacking the capital Salamis-Constantia 652 – Sicily is attacked by Muslims 653 – Quran (or Koran – 114 suras) compiled by Uthman, the third caliph (reign 644 to 656) 653 – Muawiya I leads raid against Rhodes 654 – Muawiya I conquers Cyprus 655 – Battle of the Masts 661 Muawiya moves capital from Mecca to Damascus
662 – Egypt falls to the Umayyad and Abbasid caliphates 667 – Sicily is attacked by Muslims; Arabs occupy Chalcedon. 668 – First siege of Constantinople 669 – Muslim conquest reaches Morocco 672 – Muslims capture the island of Rhodes 674 – Arab conquest reaches Indus River 698 – Muslims capture Carthage in Tunisia. 700 – Muslims raid Island of Sicily 711 – Muslims conquest of Sindh in Afghanistan 711 – Battle of Guadalate , Spain 712 – Conquest of Andulusia 715 – Muslim conquest of Spain 716 – Muslims captured Lisbon 717 – Cordova becomes capital of Andalusia (Spain); second siege of Constantinople. 719 – Muslims attack Septimania in Southern France 721 – Muslims cross the Pyrenees 722 – Battle of Covadonga First defeat of Muslims by Christians 724 – Muslims raid southern France and capture Carcassone and Nimes 725 – Muslim forces occupy Nimes, France 730 – Muslim forces occupy Narbonne and Avignon
732 – Battle of Tours (Christian Victory) – With perhaps 1,500 soldiers, Charles Martel halts a Muslim force of around 40,000 to 60,000 cavalry under Abd el Rahman Al Ghafiqi. Muslims call it Balat al-Shuhada, the Highway of Martyrs, and treat it as a minor engagement. 735 – Muslim invaders capture Arles in France 750 – Abbasids move capital to Baghdad (see map) 756 – The Emirate of Cordova is established 759 – Pippin III ends Muslim incursions in France 792 – Hisham I calls for a Jihad Thousands heed his call to cross the Pyrenees to subjugate France. Many cities are destroyed 800 – North Africa falls under the rule of the Aghlabi dynasty of Tunis. 801 – Vikings begin selling slaves to Muslims. 813 – Muslims attack the Civi Vecchia near Rome 816 – The Moors support the Basques against the Franks 827 – Sicily is invaded by Muslims 831 – Muslims capture Palermo and make it their capital 838 – Muslim raiders sack Marseille 841 – Muslim forces capture Bari (in Italy) 846 – Muslim raiders attack areas near Ostia and Rome. Some enter Rome and damage the Churches of St. Peter and St. Paul. The Leonine Wall is built to discourage further Attacks. 849 – Battle of Ostia (Christian Victory) 850 – Perfectus, a Christian priest in Muslim Cordova is executed; the first of many. 851 – Young Christians are executed for insulting the Prophet Muhammed 858 – Muslim raiders attack Constantinople 859 – Muslim invaders capture Castrogiovanni slaughtering several thousands 868 – The Sattarid dynasty extended Muslim control throughout most of Persia. 869 – Arabs capture the island of Malta 870 – Muslim invaders capture Syracuse, Italy. 876 – Muslims pillage Campagna in Italy 879 – The Seljuk Empire unites Mesopotamia and a large portion of Persia 884 – Muslims invading Italy burn the monastery of Monte Cassino to the ground 900 – The Fatimid Dynasty assumes control of Egypt 902 – The Muslim conquest of Sicily is completed when the Christian city of Toorminia is captured 909 – Sicily comes under control of the Fatimids 909 – The Fatimid Dynasty assumes control of Egypt 909 – Muslims control all the passes in the Alps between France and Italy cutting off passage between the two countries
911 – Muslims control all the passes in the Alps between France and Italy 920 – Muslim forces cross the Pyrenees, enter Gascony and reach as far as the gates of Toulouse 972 – The Fatimids of Egypt conquer North Africa 981 – Ramiro III, king of Leon, is defeated at Rueda, Spain 985 – Al-Mansur Ibn Abi Aamir sacks Barcelona 994 – The monastery of Monte Cassino is destroyed a second time by Arabs 997 – Under the leadership of Almanzar, Muslim forces march out of the city of Cordova and head north to capture Christian lands. 997 – Muslim forces burn Compostela to the ground [ Spain ] 1004 – Arab raiders sack the Italian city of Pisa 1009 – The Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem is destroyed by Muslim armies 1009 – Caliph Al-Hakim bi-Amr Allah orders the Holy Sepulcher and all Christian buildings in Jerusalem be destroyed 1012 – Caliph Al-Hakim bi-Amr Allah orders the destruction of all Christian and Jewish houses of worship in his lands 1012 – Berber forces capture Cordova and order that half the population be executed 1013 – Jews expelled from the Umayyad Caliphate of Cordova, then ruled by Sulaimann. 1015 – Arab Muslim forces conquer Sardinia 1023 – Muslims expel the Berber rulers from Cordova and install Abd er-Rahman V as caliph. 1038 – The Seljuk Turks become established in Persia. 1042 – The rise of the Seljuk Turks begins. 1055 – Seljuk Turks capture Baghdad. 1056 – The Almoravid (al-Murabitun) Dynasty begins its rise to power. 1064 – The Seljuk Turks conquer Christian Armenia 1070 – Seljuk Turks capture Jerusalem and begin persecuting Christian Pilgrims 1071–1085 – Seljuk Turks conquer most of Syria and Palestine 1071 – Battle of Manzikert 1073 – Seljuk Turks conquer Ankara 1078 – Seljuk Turks capture Nicaea 1084 – Seljuk Turks conquer Antioch 1086 – Battle of Zallaca – Spanish forces defeated by the Moors and their Berber allies. 1088 – Patzinak Turks begin forming settlements between the Danube and the Balkans 1090 – Granada captured by Yusuf Ibn Tashfin 1091 – Cordova is captured by the Almoravids
———————————————————————
1095 – First Crusade. After 450 years of bloodshed, Pope Urban II called upon the kings of Christendom to send a military expedition to regain the Holy Lands, which had been taken by the Muslim conquest of the Levant 1. At the same time, the Byzantine emperor Alexis I (1081 to 1118) had asked Urban II for help against the invading Turks. Jerusalem was re-captured in 1099.Islam would not suffer a naval defeat by the Europeans until the battle of Lepanto in 1571. http://www.thelatinlibrary.com/imperialism/notes/islamchron.html and other sources.
1 Levant**:** the areas around the eastern Mediterranean, including Asia Minor, Egypt, Palestine, Syria, Lebanon, Turkey, Iraq, and Iran.
2024.03.22 11:34 Doctor_of_Puns The Esoteric She
The Late Mme. Blavatsky―A Sketch of Her Career
By William Quan Judge
A WOMAN who, for one reason or another, has kept the world―first her little child world and afterward two hemispheres―talking of her, disputing about her, defending or assailing her character and motives, joining her enterprise or opposing it might and main, and in her death being as much telegraphed about between two continents as an emperor, must have been a remarkable person. Such was Mme. Helena Petrovna Blavatsky, born under the power of the holy Tzar, in the family of the Hahns, descended on one side from the famous crusader, Count Rottenstern, who added Hahn, a cock, to his name because that bird saved his life from a wily Saracen who had come into his tent to murder him.
Hardly any circumstance or epoch in Mme. Blavatsky's career was prosaic. She chose to be born into this life at Ekaterinoslaw, Russia, in the year 1831, when coffins and desolation were everywhere from the plague of cholera. The child was so delicate that the family decided upon immediate baptism under the rites of the Greek Catholic Church. This was in itself not common, but the ceremony was―under the luck that ever was with Helena―more remarkable and startling still. At this ceremony all the relatives are present and stand holding lighted candles. As one was absent a young child, aunt of the infant Helena, was made proxy for the absentee, and given a candle like the rest. Tired out by the effort, this young proxy sank down to the floor unnoticed by the others, and, just as the sponsors were renouncing the evil one on the babe's behalf, by three times spitting on the floor, the sitting witness with her candle accidentally set fire to the robes of the officiating priest, and instantly there was a small conflagration, in which many of those present were seriously burned. Thus amid the scourge of death in the land was Mme. Blavatsky ushered into our world, and in the flames baptized by the priests of a Church whose fallacious dogmas she did much in her life to expose.
She was connected with the rulers of Russia. Speaking in 1881, her uncle, Gen. Fadeef, joint Councillor of State of Russia, said that, as daughter of Col. Peter Hahn, she was grand-daughter of Gen. Alexis Hahn von Rottenstern Hahn of old Mecklenburg stock, settled in Russia, and on her mother's side daughter of Héléne Fadeef and grand-daughter of Princess Helena Dolgorouky. Her maternal ancestors were of the oldest families in Russia and direct descendants of the Prince or Grand Duke Rurik, the first ruler of Russia. Several ladies of the family belonged to the imperial house, becoming Czarinas by marriage. One of them, a Dolgorouky, married the grandfather of Peter the Great, and another was betrothed to Czar Peter II. Through these connections it naturally resulted that Mme. Blavatsky was acquainted personally with many noble Russians. In Paris I met three princes of Russia and one well-known General, who told of her youth and the wonderful things related about her then; and in Germany I met the Prince Emile de Wittgenstein of one of the many Russo-German families, and himself cousin to the Empress of Russia and aide-de-camp to the Czar, who told me that he was an old family friend of hers, who heard much about her in early years, but, to his regret, had never had the fortune to see her again after a brief visit made with her father to his house. But he joined her famous Theosophical Society by correspondence, and wrote, after the war with Turkey, that he had been told in a letter from her that no hurt would come to him during the campaign, and such turned out to be the fact.
As a child she was the wonder of the neighborhood and the terror of the simpler serfs. Russia teems with superstitions and omens, and as Helena was born on the seventh month and between the 30th and 31st day, she was supposed by the nurses and servants to have powers and virtues possessed by no one else. And these supposed powers made her the cynosure of all in her early youth. She was allowed liberties given none others, and as soon as she could understand she was given by her nurses the chief part in a mystic Russian ceremony performed about the house and grounds on the 30th of July with the object of propitiating the house demon. The education she got was fragmentary, and in itself so inadequate as to be one more cause among many for the belief of her friends in later life that she was endowed with abnormal psychic powers, or else in verity assisted by those unseen beings who she asserted were her helpers and who were men living on the earth, but possessed of developed senses that laughed at time and space. In girlhood she was bound by no restraint of conventionality, but rode any Cossack horse in a man's saddle, and later on spent a long time with her father with his regiment in the field, where, with her sister, she became the pet of the soldiers. In 1844, when 14, her father took her to London and Paris, where some progress was made in music, and before 1848 she returned home.
Her marriage in 1848 to Gen. Nicephore Blavatsky, the Governor of Erivan in the Caucasus, gave her the name of Blavatsky, borne till her death. This marriage, like all other events in her life, was full of pyrotechnics. Her abrupt style had led her female friends to say that she could not make the old Blavatsky marry her, and out of sheer bravado she declared she could, and sure enough, he did propose and was accepted. Then the awful fact obtruded itself on Helena's mind that this could not―in Russia―be undone. They were married, but the affair was signalized by Mme. Blavatsky's breaking a candlestick over his head and precipitately leaving the house, never to see him again. After her determination was evident, her father assisted her in a life of travel which began from that date, and not until 1858 did she return to Russia. Meanwhile her steps led her to America in 1851, to Canada, to New Orleans, to Mexico, off to India, and back again in 1853 to the United States. Then her relatives lost sight of her once more until 1858, when her coming back was like other events in her history. It was a wintry night, and a wedding party was on at the home in Russia. Guests had arrived, and suddenly, interrupting the meal, the bell rang violently, and there, unannounced, was Mme. Blavatsky at the door.
From this point the family and many friends testify, both by letter and by articles in the Rebus, a well-known journal in Russia, and in other papers, a constant series of marvels wholly unexplainable on the theory of jugglery was constantly occurring. They were of such a character that hundreds of friends from great distances were constantly visiting the house to see the wonderful Mme. Blavatsky. Many were incredulous, many believed it was magic, and others started charges of fraud. The superstitious Gooriel and Mingrelian nobility came in crowds and talked incessantly after, calling her a magician. They came to see the marvels others reported, to see her sitting quietly reading while tables and chairs moved of themselves and low raps in every direction seemed to reply to questions. Among many testified to was one done for her brother, who doubted her powers. A small chess table stood on the floor. Very light―a child could lift it and a man break it. One asked if Mme. Blavatsky could fasten it by will to the floor. She then said to examine it, and they found it loose. After that, and being some distance off, she said, "Try it again." They then found that no power of theirs could stir it, and her brother supposing from his great strength that this "trick" could easily be exposed, embraced the little table and shook and pulled it without effect, except to make it groan and creak. So with wall and furniture rapping, objects moving, messages about distant happenings arriving by aerial port, the whole family and neighborhood were in a constant state of excitement. Mme. Blavatsky said herself that this was a period when she was letting her psychic forces play, and learning fully to understand and control them.
But the spirit of unrest came freshly again, and she started out once more to find, as she wrote to me, "the men and women whom I want to prepare for the work of a great philosophical and ethical movement that I expect to start in a later time." Going to Spezzia in a Greek vessel, the usual display of natural circumstances took place, and the boat was blown up by an explosion of gunpowder in the cargo. Only a few of those on board were saved, she among them. This led her to Cairo, in Egypt, where, in 1871, she started a society with the object of investigating spiritualism so as to expose its fallacies, if any, and to put its facts on a firm, scientific, and reasonable basis, if possible. But it only lasted fourteen days, and she wrote about it then: "It is a heap of ruins―majestic, but as suggestive as those of the Pharoahs' tombs."
It was, however, in the United States that she really began the work that has made her name well known in Europe, Asia, and America; made her notorious in the eyes of those who dislike all reformers, but great and famous for those who say her works have benefited them. Prior to 1875 she was again investigating the claims of spiritualism in this country, and wrote home then analyzing it, declaring false its assertion that the dead were heard from, and showing that, on the other hand, the phenomena exhibited a great psycho-physiological change going on here, which, if allowed to go on in our present merely material civilization, would bring about great disaster, morally and physically.
Then in 1875, in New York, she started the Theosophical Society, aided by Col. H. S. Olcott and others, declaring its objects to be the making of a nucleus for a universal brotherhood, the study of ancient and other religions and sciences, and the investigation of the psychical and recondite laws affecting man and nature. There certainly was no selfish object in this, nor any desire to raise money. She was in receipt of funds from sources in Russia and other places until they were cut off by reason of her becoming an American citizen, and also because her unremunerated labors for the society prevented her doing literary work on Russian magazines, where all her writings would be taken eagerly. As soon as the Theosophical Society was started she said to the writer that a book had to be written for its use. Isis Unveiled was then begun, and unremittingly she worked at it night and day until the moment when a publisher was secured for it.
Meanwhile crowds of visitors were constantly calling at her rooms in Irving Place, later in Thirty-fourth street, and last in Forty-seventh street and Eighth avenue. The newspapers were full of her supposed powers or of laughter at the possibilities in man that she and her society asserted. A prominent New York daily wrote of her thus:
In 1878, Isis Unveiled having been published, Mme. Blavatsky informed her friends that she must go to India and start there the same movement of the Theosophical Society. So in December of that year she and Col. Olcott and two more went out to India, stopping at London for a while. Arriving in Bombay, they found three or four Hindoos to meet them who had heard from afar of the matter. A place was hired in the native part of the town, and soon she and Col. Olcott started the Theosophist, a magazine that became at once well known there and was widely bought in the West.
There in Bombay and later in Adyar, Madras, Mme. Blavatsky worked day after day in all seasons, editing her magazine and carrying on an immense correspondence with people in every part of the world interested in theosophy, and also daily disputing and discussing with learned Hindoos who constantly called. Phenomena occurred there also very often, and later the society for discovering nothing about the psychic world investigated these, and came to the conclusion that this woman of no fortune, who was never before publicly heard of in India, had managed, in some way they could not explain, to get up a vast conspiracy that ramified all over India, including men of all ranks, by means of which she was enabled to produce pretended phenomena. I give this conclusion as one adopted by many. For any one who knew her and who knows India, with its hundreds of different languages, none of which she knew, the conclusion is absurd. The Hindoos believed in her, said always that she could explain to them their own scriptures and philosophies where the Brahmins had lost or concealed the key, and that by her efforts and the work of the society founded through her, India's young men were being saved from the blank materialism which is the only religion the West can ever give a Hindoo.
In 1887 Mme. Blavatsky returned to England, and there started another theosophical magazine, called Lucifer, and immediately stirred up the movement in Europe. Day and night there, as in New York and India, she wrote and spoke, incessantly corresponding with people everywhere, editing Lucifer, and making more books for her beloved society, and never possessed of means, never getting from the world at large anything save abuse wholly undeserved. The Key to Theosophy was written in London, and also The Secret Doctrine, which is the great text book for Theosophists. The Voice of the Silence was written there too, and is meant for devotional Theosophists. Writing, writing, writing from morn till night was her fate here. Yet, although scandalized and abused here as elsewhere, she made many devoted friends, for there never was anything half way in her history. Those who met her or heard of her were always either staunch friends or bitter enemies.
The Secret Doctrine led to the coming into the society of Mrs. Annie Besant, and then Mme. Blavatsky began to say that her labors were coming to an end, for here was a woman who had the courage of the ancient reformers and who would help carry on the movement in England unflinchingly. The Secret Doctrine was sent to Mr. Stead of the Pall Mall Gazette to review, but none of his usual reviewers felt equal to it and he asked Mrs. Besant if she could review it. She accepted the task, reviewed, and then wanted an introduction to the writer. Soon after that she joined the society, first fully investigating Mme. Blavatsky's character, and threw in her entire forces with the Theosophists. Then a permanent London headquarters was started and still exists. And there Mme. Blavatsky passed away, with the knowledge that the society she had striven so hard for at any cost was at last an entity able to struggle for itself.
In her dying moment she showed that her life had been spent for an idea, with full consciousness that in the eyes of the world it was Utopian, but in her own necessary for the race. She implored her friends not to allow her then ending incarnation to become a failure by the failure of the movement started and carried on with so much of suffering. She never in all her life made money or asked for it. Venal writers and spiteful men and women have said she strove to get money from so-called dupes, but all her intimate friends know that over and over again she has refused money; that always she has had friends who would give her all they had if she would take it, but she never took any nor asked it. On the other hand, her philosophy and her high ideals have caused others to try to help all those in need. Impelled by such incentive, one rich Theosophist gave her $5,000 to found a working girls' club at Bow, in London, and one day, after Mrs. Besant had made the arrangements for the house and the rest, Mme. Blavatsky, although sick and old, went down there herself and opened the club in the name of the society.
The aim and object of her life were to strike off the shackles forged by priestcraft for the mind of man. She wished all men to know that they are God in fact, and that as men they must bear the burden of their own sins, for no one else can do it. Hence she brought forward to the West the old Eastern doctrines of karma and reincarnation. Under the first, the law of justice, she said each must answer for himself, and under the second make answer on the earth where all his acts were done. She also desired that science should be brought back to the true ground where life and intelligence are admitted to be within and acting on and through every atom in the universe. Hence her object was to make religion scientific and science religious, so that the dogmatism of each might disappear.
Her life since 1875 was spent in the unremitting endeavor to draw within the Theosophical Society those who could work unselfishly to propagate an ethics and philosophy tending to realize the brotherhood of man by showing the real unity and essential non-separateness of every being. And her books were written with the declared object of furnishing the material for intellectual and scientific progress on those lines. The theory of man's origin, powers, and destiny brought forward by her, drawn from ancient Indian sources, places us upon a higher pedestal that that given by either religion or science, for it gives to each the possibility of developing the godlike powers within and of at last becoming a co-worker with nature.
As every one must die at last, we will not say that her demise was a loss; but if she had not lived and done what she did humanity would not have had the impulse and the ideas toward the good which it was her mission to give and to proclaim. And there are today scores, nay, hundreds, of devout, earnest men and women intent on purifying their own lives and sweetening the lives of others, who trace their hopes and aspirations to the wisdom-religion revived in the West through her efforts, and who gratefully avow that their dearest possessions are the result of her toilsome and self-sacrificing life. If they, in turn, live aright and do good, they will be but illustrating the doctrine which she daily taught and hourly practised.
New York Sun, Sept. 26, 1892
submitted by Doctor_of_Puns to Original_Theosophy [link] [comments]
By William Quan Judge
A WOMAN who, for one reason or another, has kept the world―first her little child world and afterward two hemispheres―talking of her, disputing about her, defending or assailing her character and motives, joining her enterprise or opposing it might and main, and in her death being as much telegraphed about between two continents as an emperor, must have been a remarkable person. Such was Mme. Helena Petrovna Blavatsky, born under the power of the holy Tzar, in the family of the Hahns, descended on one side from the famous crusader, Count Rottenstern, who added Hahn, a cock, to his name because that bird saved his life from a wily Saracen who had come into his tent to murder him.
Hardly any circumstance or epoch in Mme. Blavatsky's career was prosaic. She chose to be born into this life at Ekaterinoslaw, Russia, in the year 1831, when coffins and desolation were everywhere from the plague of cholera. The child was so delicate that the family decided upon immediate baptism under the rites of the Greek Catholic Church. This was in itself not common, but the ceremony was―under the luck that ever was with Helena―more remarkable and startling still. At this ceremony all the relatives are present and stand holding lighted candles. As one was absent a young child, aunt of the infant Helena, was made proxy for the absentee, and given a candle like the rest. Tired out by the effort, this young proxy sank down to the floor unnoticed by the others, and, just as the sponsors were renouncing the evil one on the babe's behalf, by three times spitting on the floor, the sitting witness with her candle accidentally set fire to the robes of the officiating priest, and instantly there was a small conflagration, in which many of those present were seriously burned. Thus amid the scourge of death in the land was Mme. Blavatsky ushered into our world, and in the flames baptized by the priests of a Church whose fallacious dogmas she did much in her life to expose.
She was connected with the rulers of Russia. Speaking in 1881, her uncle, Gen. Fadeef, joint Councillor of State of Russia, said that, as daughter of Col. Peter Hahn, she was grand-daughter of Gen. Alexis Hahn von Rottenstern Hahn of old Mecklenburg stock, settled in Russia, and on her mother's side daughter of Héléne Fadeef and grand-daughter of Princess Helena Dolgorouky. Her maternal ancestors were of the oldest families in Russia and direct descendants of the Prince or Grand Duke Rurik, the first ruler of Russia. Several ladies of the family belonged to the imperial house, becoming Czarinas by marriage. One of them, a Dolgorouky, married the grandfather of Peter the Great, and another was betrothed to Czar Peter II. Through these connections it naturally resulted that Mme. Blavatsky was acquainted personally with many noble Russians. In Paris I met three princes of Russia and one well-known General, who told of her youth and the wonderful things related about her then; and in Germany I met the Prince Emile de Wittgenstein of one of the many Russo-German families, and himself cousin to the Empress of Russia and aide-de-camp to the Czar, who told me that he was an old family friend of hers, who heard much about her in early years, but, to his regret, had never had the fortune to see her again after a brief visit made with her father to his house. But he joined her famous Theosophical Society by correspondence, and wrote, after the war with Turkey, that he had been told in a letter from her that no hurt would come to him during the campaign, and such turned out to be the fact.
As a child she was the wonder of the neighborhood and the terror of the simpler serfs. Russia teems with superstitions and omens, and as Helena was born on the seventh month and between the 30th and 31st day, she was supposed by the nurses and servants to have powers and virtues possessed by no one else. And these supposed powers made her the cynosure of all in her early youth. She was allowed liberties given none others, and as soon as she could understand she was given by her nurses the chief part in a mystic Russian ceremony performed about the house and grounds on the 30th of July with the object of propitiating the house demon. The education she got was fragmentary, and in itself so inadequate as to be one more cause among many for the belief of her friends in later life that she was endowed with abnormal psychic powers, or else in verity assisted by those unseen beings who she asserted were her helpers and who were men living on the earth, but possessed of developed senses that laughed at time and space. In girlhood she was bound by no restraint of conventionality, but rode any Cossack horse in a man's saddle, and later on spent a long time with her father with his regiment in the field, where, with her sister, she became the pet of the soldiers. In 1844, when 14, her father took her to London and Paris, where some progress was made in music, and before 1848 she returned home.
Her marriage in 1848 to Gen. Nicephore Blavatsky, the Governor of Erivan in the Caucasus, gave her the name of Blavatsky, borne till her death. This marriage, like all other events in her life, was full of pyrotechnics. Her abrupt style had led her female friends to say that she could not make the old Blavatsky marry her, and out of sheer bravado she declared she could, and sure enough, he did propose and was accepted. Then the awful fact obtruded itself on Helena's mind that this could not―in Russia―be undone. They were married, but the affair was signalized by Mme. Blavatsky's breaking a candlestick over his head and precipitately leaving the house, never to see him again. After her determination was evident, her father assisted her in a life of travel which began from that date, and not until 1858 did she return to Russia. Meanwhile her steps led her to America in 1851, to Canada, to New Orleans, to Mexico, off to India, and back again in 1853 to the United States. Then her relatives lost sight of her once more until 1858, when her coming back was like other events in her history. It was a wintry night, and a wedding party was on at the home in Russia. Guests had arrived, and suddenly, interrupting the meal, the bell rang violently, and there, unannounced, was Mme. Blavatsky at the door.
From this point the family and many friends testify, both by letter and by articles in the Rebus, a well-known journal in Russia, and in other papers, a constant series of marvels wholly unexplainable on the theory of jugglery was constantly occurring. They were of such a character that hundreds of friends from great distances were constantly visiting the house to see the wonderful Mme. Blavatsky. Many were incredulous, many believed it was magic, and others started charges of fraud. The superstitious Gooriel and Mingrelian nobility came in crowds and talked incessantly after, calling her a magician. They came to see the marvels others reported, to see her sitting quietly reading while tables and chairs moved of themselves and low raps in every direction seemed to reply to questions. Among many testified to was one done for her brother, who doubted her powers. A small chess table stood on the floor. Very light―a child could lift it and a man break it. One asked if Mme. Blavatsky could fasten it by will to the floor. She then said to examine it, and they found it loose. After that, and being some distance off, she said, "Try it again." They then found that no power of theirs could stir it, and her brother supposing from his great strength that this "trick" could easily be exposed, embraced the little table and shook and pulled it without effect, except to make it groan and creak. So with wall and furniture rapping, objects moving, messages about distant happenings arriving by aerial port, the whole family and neighborhood were in a constant state of excitement. Mme. Blavatsky said herself that this was a period when she was letting her psychic forces play, and learning fully to understand and control them.
But the spirit of unrest came freshly again, and she started out once more to find, as she wrote to me, "the men and women whom I want to prepare for the work of a great philosophical and ethical movement that I expect to start in a later time." Going to Spezzia in a Greek vessel, the usual display of natural circumstances took place, and the boat was blown up by an explosion of gunpowder in the cargo. Only a few of those on board were saved, she among them. This led her to Cairo, in Egypt, where, in 1871, she started a society with the object of investigating spiritualism so as to expose its fallacies, if any, and to put its facts on a firm, scientific, and reasonable basis, if possible. But it only lasted fourteen days, and she wrote about it then: "It is a heap of ruins―majestic, but as suggestive as those of the Pharoahs' tombs."
It was, however, in the United States that she really began the work that has made her name well known in Europe, Asia, and America; made her notorious in the eyes of those who dislike all reformers, but great and famous for those who say her works have benefited them. Prior to 1875 she was again investigating the claims of spiritualism in this country, and wrote home then analyzing it, declaring false its assertion that the dead were heard from, and showing that, on the other hand, the phenomena exhibited a great psycho-physiological change going on here, which, if allowed to go on in our present merely material civilization, would bring about great disaster, morally and physically.
Then in 1875, in New York, she started the Theosophical Society, aided by Col. H. S. Olcott and others, declaring its objects to be the making of a nucleus for a universal brotherhood, the study of ancient and other religions and sciences, and the investigation of the psychical and recondite laws affecting man and nature. There certainly was no selfish object in this, nor any desire to raise money. She was in receipt of funds from sources in Russia and other places until they were cut off by reason of her becoming an American citizen, and also because her unremunerated labors for the society prevented her doing literary work on Russian magazines, where all her writings would be taken eagerly. As soon as the Theosophical Society was started she said to the writer that a book had to be written for its use. Isis Unveiled was then begun, and unremittingly she worked at it night and day until the moment when a publisher was secured for it.
Meanwhile crowds of visitors were constantly calling at her rooms in Irving Place, later in Thirty-fourth street, and last in Forty-seventh street and Eighth avenue. The newspapers were full of her supposed powers or of laughter at the possibilities in man that she and her society asserted. A prominent New York daily wrote of her thus:
A woman of as remarkable characteristics as Cagliostro himself, and one who is every day as differently judged by different people as the renowned Count was in his day. By those who know her slightly she is called a charlatan; better acquaintance made you think she was learned; and those who were intimate with her were either carried away with belief in her power or completely puzzled.Isis Unveiled attracted wide attention, and all the New York papers reviewed it, each saying that it exhibited immense research. The strange part of this is, as I and many others can testify as eyewitnesses to the production of the book, that the writer had no library in which to make researches and possessed no notes of investigation or reading previously done. All was written straight out of hand. And yet it is full of references to books in the British Museum and other great libraries, and every reference is correct. Either, then, we have, as to that book, a woman who was capable of storing in her memory a mass of facts, dates, numbers, titles, and subjects such as no other human being ever was capable of, or her claim to help from unseen beings is just.
In 1878, Isis Unveiled having been published, Mme. Blavatsky informed her friends that she must go to India and start there the same movement of the Theosophical Society. So in December of that year she and Col. Olcott and two more went out to India, stopping at London for a while. Arriving in Bombay, they found three or four Hindoos to meet them who had heard from afar of the matter. A place was hired in the native part of the town, and soon she and Col. Olcott started the Theosophist, a magazine that became at once well known there and was widely bought in the West.
There in Bombay and later in Adyar, Madras, Mme. Blavatsky worked day after day in all seasons, editing her magazine and carrying on an immense correspondence with people in every part of the world interested in theosophy, and also daily disputing and discussing with learned Hindoos who constantly called. Phenomena occurred there also very often, and later the society for discovering nothing about the psychic world investigated these, and came to the conclusion that this woman of no fortune, who was never before publicly heard of in India, had managed, in some way they could not explain, to get up a vast conspiracy that ramified all over India, including men of all ranks, by means of which she was enabled to produce pretended phenomena. I give this conclusion as one adopted by many. For any one who knew her and who knows India, with its hundreds of different languages, none of which she knew, the conclusion is absurd. The Hindoos believed in her, said always that she could explain to them their own scriptures and philosophies where the Brahmins had lost or concealed the key, and that by her efforts and the work of the society founded through her, India's young men were being saved from the blank materialism which is the only religion the West can ever give a Hindoo.
In 1887 Mme. Blavatsky returned to England, and there started another theosophical magazine, called Lucifer, and immediately stirred up the movement in Europe. Day and night there, as in New York and India, she wrote and spoke, incessantly corresponding with people everywhere, editing Lucifer, and making more books for her beloved society, and never possessed of means, never getting from the world at large anything save abuse wholly undeserved. The Key to Theosophy was written in London, and also The Secret Doctrine, which is the great text book for Theosophists. The Voice of the Silence was written there too, and is meant for devotional Theosophists. Writing, writing, writing from morn till night was her fate here. Yet, although scandalized and abused here as elsewhere, she made many devoted friends, for there never was anything half way in her history. Those who met her or heard of her were always either staunch friends or bitter enemies.
The Secret Doctrine led to the coming into the society of Mrs. Annie Besant, and then Mme. Blavatsky began to say that her labors were coming to an end, for here was a woman who had the courage of the ancient reformers and who would help carry on the movement in England unflinchingly. The Secret Doctrine was sent to Mr. Stead of the Pall Mall Gazette to review, but none of his usual reviewers felt equal to it and he asked Mrs. Besant if she could review it. She accepted the task, reviewed, and then wanted an introduction to the writer. Soon after that she joined the society, first fully investigating Mme. Blavatsky's character, and threw in her entire forces with the Theosophists. Then a permanent London headquarters was started and still exists. And there Mme. Blavatsky passed away, with the knowledge that the society she had striven so hard for at any cost was at last an entity able to struggle for itself.
In her dying moment she showed that her life had been spent for an idea, with full consciousness that in the eyes of the world it was Utopian, but in her own necessary for the race. She implored her friends not to allow her then ending incarnation to become a failure by the failure of the movement started and carried on with so much of suffering. She never in all her life made money or asked for it. Venal writers and spiteful men and women have said she strove to get money from so-called dupes, but all her intimate friends know that over and over again she has refused money; that always she has had friends who would give her all they had if she would take it, but she never took any nor asked it. On the other hand, her philosophy and her high ideals have caused others to try to help all those in need. Impelled by such incentive, one rich Theosophist gave her $5,000 to found a working girls' club at Bow, in London, and one day, after Mrs. Besant had made the arrangements for the house and the rest, Mme. Blavatsky, although sick and old, went down there herself and opened the club in the name of the society.
The aim and object of her life were to strike off the shackles forged by priestcraft for the mind of man. She wished all men to know that they are God in fact, and that as men they must bear the burden of their own sins, for no one else can do it. Hence she brought forward to the West the old Eastern doctrines of karma and reincarnation. Under the first, the law of justice, she said each must answer for himself, and under the second make answer on the earth where all his acts were done. She also desired that science should be brought back to the true ground where life and intelligence are admitted to be within and acting on and through every atom in the universe. Hence her object was to make religion scientific and science religious, so that the dogmatism of each might disappear.
Her life since 1875 was spent in the unremitting endeavor to draw within the Theosophical Society those who could work unselfishly to propagate an ethics and philosophy tending to realize the brotherhood of man by showing the real unity and essential non-separateness of every being. And her books were written with the declared object of furnishing the material for intellectual and scientific progress on those lines. The theory of man's origin, powers, and destiny brought forward by her, drawn from ancient Indian sources, places us upon a higher pedestal that that given by either religion or science, for it gives to each the possibility of developing the godlike powers within and of at last becoming a co-worker with nature.
As every one must die at last, we will not say that her demise was a loss; but if she had not lived and done what she did humanity would not have had the impulse and the ideas toward the good which it was her mission to give and to proclaim. And there are today scores, nay, hundreds, of devout, earnest men and women intent on purifying their own lives and sweetening the lives of others, who trace their hopes and aspirations to the wisdom-religion revived in the West through her efforts, and who gratefully avow that their dearest possessions are the result of her toilsome and self-sacrificing life. If they, in turn, live aright and do good, they will be but illustrating the doctrine which she daily taught and hourly practised.
New York Sun, Sept. 26, 1892
2024.03.21 14:25 rnelsonee How withholding works with a few (dozen) examples
Tax withholding can get complicated so here is an attempt to explain how it works, using different scenarios. All examples using 2024 figures, cover federal taxes only (states often mimic the older federal system with allowances, unfortunately), and the spreadsheet used for screenshots is archived here (it will ask you to make a copy) and the current W-4 is here.
The four levers of the W-4
The W-4 has four boxes for you to adjust withholding (outside of filing status and Step 2's handling of multiple jobs). You can move the amount you have withheld by raising or lowering your assumed annualized income, or by raising or lowering your withholding, dollar for dollar. Note when withholding goes up you net paycheck amount goes down, but your refund goes up (or amount owe goes down).
So in other words, say your income puts you in the 22% marginal bracket, meaning an extra $100 will cause tax to go up $22. Putting $100 in Other Income (4a) will cause withholding to go up $22/(pay periods), in Deductions (4b) will cause withholding to go down $22/(pay periods). Putting $100 in Credits (3) causes $100 less to be withheld over the year. Putting $100 in Extra withholding (4c) will cause $100 to be withheld every single paycheck.
Example Simple is just $100,000, Single. Tax computation if you don't trust me [is here] or paycheckcity is a good source, but is $13,841. Hence $532.35 withheld 26 times. And note in the screenshots, boxes with fill colors and dashed borders are inputs, the rest is computed.
Example Simple Pretax shows how pre-tax deductions lower withholding, but don't interfere with withholding accuracy. Alexis's $2,600 in deductions is $100 per bi-weekly paycheck. Alexis is in the 22% tax bracket, so that's $22 less withheld per paycheck. Annually, $2,600×22% = $572 less tax. $13,841 ([Example Simple]((https://i.imgur.com/Y0MoUbC.png))) minus $572 is $13,269.
Example Simple Joint shows how filing status alone also doesn't mess up withholding accuracy. Tax is lower for Married (filing joint, in all these examples), but the withholding algorithm knows this and computes tax on the Joint tables vs Single depending on what you put in Step 1 of the W-4.
Other Income & Deductions
Steps 4a & 4b (Other Income & Deductions) on the W-4 cover alternations to your work's annualized income.
Example Extra Income shows what happens if Alexis gets $300 in extra, un-withheld income, like bank interest. Her tax goes up $300×22% = $66. Example Extra Income Fixed shows how putting $300 in Other Income (4a) means she doesn't need to do that math -- it's taken care of in the algorithm. Even if her extra income passed a tax bracket, it's no issue. The algorithm will just lump Other Income with the rest of her income just how the 1040 does.
Example Deduction shows the opposite -- if Alexis puts $7,000 to her IRA, she would normally get 22% of that ($1,540) back. But she can put $7,000 into Deductions (4b) to lower her withholding (by $1,540/26 per paycheck) to get paid that money during the year which we see in Example Deduction fixed.
Note that your employer's instructions tell them to assume you take the standard deduction. If you itemize, only put the amount over the standard deduction in Deductions.
Example Itemize shows why: if Alexis's Schedule A total is $1,000 more than her standard deduction, she saves $220 on taxes. But she only should add $1,000 in Deductions to even it out as we see in Example Itemized fixed (see W-4 Deductions Worksheet).
Extra Withholding
Extra withholding is needed when you deal with the "Other taxes" on the 1040, usually reserved for high-income earners or people who have to pay penalties for early withdrawals or who owe from previous years. It's also often used as a buffer to make sure you don't owe. For example, if you don't know your bank interest or capital gains, you can put a value here to help keep from owing.
Example Extra withholding shows how a high-income earner has to pay an Additional Medicare Tax. The $540 in extra tax is dealt with $540/26 into Extra withholding. Note this box (4c) unlike the others (Step 3, 4a, 4b) works per paycheck instead of using annual figures.
Credits
The final of the four boxes we can alter on W-4, Step 3, is for credits. It's labelled Claim Dependent and Other Credits, so note it's for all credits like educational credits or buying an EV.
Example Credits shows a simple credit -- if Alexis gets a $2,500 credit, she can put $2,500 in Step 3 and she'll have $2,500/26 less withheld per paycheck.
Non-refundable credits -- treat as all other credits
A non-refundable credit will subtract from your tax liability but -- unlike a refundable credit -- won't cause your tax liability to go below $0 (and thankfully, refundable credits are subtracted after non-refundable credits).
Example non-refundable credit, full shows how a non-refundable credit on Step 3 works fine if the taxpayer has the income to support it. If Alexis (whose tax is over $13,000) buys a Tesla and gets the $7,500 EV credit, withholding works with Step 3 as well as always.
Example non-refundable credit, partial shows how a non-refundable credit also isn't a problem with income that doesn't have enough tax to take full advantage. In this case, with a lower income, some of the $7,500 is unused. Yet with $7,500 in Step 3, the taxpayer's income went to $0; and with a tax liability of $0 after the credit, things work out.
In other words, put your non-credits in Step 3 and don't worry if you take full advantage. And refundable credits don't have this issue, either, since they let tax go <$0.
Bonuses are taxed just as ordinary income but withholding rules your employer follows are different. Note one-off or infrequent bonuses should have a flat 22% withheld. The other method of withholding is out of scope of this post.
Example Bonus shows if Alexis gets a $10,000 bonus, it add $2,200 to her tax. Her employer kept $2,200 back, so there's nothing to do.
Example Bonus, high income shows what happens at higher incomes or higher bonuses (it's all added together). Her $16,125 bonus now fills up the rest of the 22% bracket, and (a convenient!) $1,000 is going to be taxed at 24%. Since the whole bonus is withheld at 22% per regulation, she's going to owe 24%-22%=2% of $1,000, or $20. Putting $1 in Extra withholding will address this.
Example Bonus, low income shows what happens at lower incomes. If Alexis makes $50,000/yr, that's in the 12% bracket. So her 22% withholding on $10,000 means she's getting (22%-12%)×$1,000 = $100 back in a refund. She can correct this by claiming he shas a $100 credit, so $100 in Step 3 in Example Bonus, low fixed
Self employment
Self-employment can get complicated, so for Example Self Employment let's zero some things out, but we'll keep the $100,000 in Alexis's base job. She decides to do side gigs, expecting to clear $10,000 in profit (gross income minus deductions) by the end of the year. She's going to need to pay both income tax, but also self-employment tax, which is about twice the 6.2%+1.45% FICA tax that employees pay for Social Security and Medicare.
So $10,000 means $1,413 in self-employment tax. Divide by 26 to put $54 in Extra withholding. Now half of that is deductible, so we have $707 taken off her income (even without itemizing, this is called an adjustment), so we need $707 in Deductions. And thanks to something called QBI deduction (through 2025), her $10,000 gets discounted 20%, so that's $8,000 in Other Income. Putting all three items in the W-4 results in near-perfect withholding (amount due is rounding error from Extra withholding).
Example Multiple Unchecked, a complicated one for those curious, shows why multiple jobs can mess up withholding. Each employer, acting as they are your only employer, subtracts the standard deduction from your annualized wages and starts at 10% for dollars above that. But because income stacks, one of those jobs needs to withhold more.
Step 2 on the W-4 deals with multiple jobs and you pick only one option:
Multiple Jobs: The Two Jobs Checkbox (withhold as Single option)
Say Alexis gets married and her spouse also makes $100,000. They can both select Married Filing Joint on the W-4 and check the Two Jobs/2c checkbox, which says it's a good choice if the two jobs are within ½ of each other (so if one job is $100k, the other should be $50k-$200k). This is the same as the "Married, but withhold at the higher Single rate" checkbox on pre-2020 W-4's. In fact, it's the same math as if Alexis and her spouse selected Single and left 2c unchecked, thanks to the brackets for Joint being double that of Single (up to a high income anyway).
Example 2c checkbox, working shows how well the 2c checkbox works for two jobs of similar incomes. And it doesn't have to be for married couples, it works on Single earners as well (it essentially tells the employer to withhold half of what it normally would)
Example 2c checkbox, bad shows how the 2c checkbox fails if the incomes are different. The guidance about "half the other income" on the W-4 is good advice, but this shows what really matters is if each job is in the same Single bracket (accounting for the standard deduction). Some of Alexis's income was withheld at 22% when it will be taxed at 12% when filing Joint as her spouse had extra "ceiling" to fill up in 12%.
Multiple Jobs: the W-4 Multiple Jobs Worksheet ("MJW")
Example MJW Intro shows a candidate for the Multiple Jobs Worksheet, because the incomes are different (although note the Job 1 income is over $110,000, the last column the Worksheet uses). It works by looking up the two jobs on a W-4 table to get a figure, then dividing that figure by number of pay periods (really you should divide by number of pay periods left in the year) and putting that into Extra withholding. It essentially makes up for the fact that both jobs are subtracting out the standard deduction from their incomes.
The Multiple Job Worksheet works, but note the figures in the W-4 table are biased towards giving refunds. Taxpayers are generally happier getting refunds, and the IRS certainly doesn't mind not having to collect amounts owed.
Example MJW high shows the bias in a worst-case scenario -- if your incomes are both towards the bottom end of a column or row value (like $X0,000), it can result in very high refunds, which really means you had too much withheld from your paychecks.
Example MJW low shows the opposite -- with values on the high end of column/row values (like $X9,000) you get more accurate withholding and may even owe a little bit.
Multiple Jobs: Assigning credits to the higher income
Whenever you enter values for Deductions or Credits (steps 4b and 3, respectively) it may not matter on whose W-4 you put them on, but it's safer to put them on the W-4 with the higher-paying job. This is because you want there to be enough "room" in the normal withholding to absorb the amount the withholding will go down. For example, if a credit normally means $500 less withheld per paycheck, you want a job that withholds at least $500 without that credit. Since withholding can't go below $0, it would be inaccurate otherwise.
Example MJW No Kids shows two jobs with $0 owed or due with the Multiple Jobs Worksheet (Job 2 income is just what happens to get $0 result with the $99,000 Job 1 income). If the couple has/expects a child by 12/31, they will want to add a $2,000 Child Tax Credit (and you want this for the full year, credits are not pro-rated by months).
Example Credit assigned to high income shows how a credit assigned to the higher income works fine.
Example Credit assigned to low income switches Job 1 and Job 2 incomes and shows how a credit assigned to the lower income can cause issues. Job 2 only had $792 withheld over the year, so a $2,000 CTC causes a $2,000-$792 refund.
With a full-time job
Example Main and Part-time job shows what to do if you have a full-time job, and you (or even a spouse) has part-time work: figure your total income for part-time work and put that in the main job's Other Income (4a). This job now handles all withholding, and now you just need to set the part time job(s) to $0 withholding. You can do this by marking the "Exempt..." box on those W-4's, or putting a large number, say $15,000 into Step 3. This works because a Single filer needs over $100,000 to have a tax of >$15,000.
With only part-time work
Example Part-time job shows what to do if you don't have a full-time job. For a part-time job, you can:
1) Estimate your total income for the year 2) Use any online calculator to estimate your tax due on that income (note some calculators ask for "taxable income"; if so, subtract the standard deduction from step 1!) 3) Divide that number by the total number of paychecks you expect to receive that year 4) Put that number in Extra withholding (4c) 5) Put a large number like $15,000 in Step 3 to make sure that the number you put in Extra withholding is the only amount withheld.
If you have multiple part-time jobs, you can do the same as above, but the math gets tricky -- the whole reason the W-4 fails with multiple jobs is not accounting for the fact income stacks. So if you have a second job, figure its tax on top of previous jobs.
Example multiple Part-time jobs shows how this can be done. Forgive the very simple numbers, it's to help illustrate the process. Using online tax estimators can help you figure the tax on Job 1, and then just add in Job 2's income, take the increase in tax, and use that for Job 2's basis. So $Job_1_tax/number_of_paychecks goes into Job 1's Extra withholding. Then ($Job_2_tax-$Job_1_tax)/number_of_paychecks_job_2 goes into Job 2's Extra withholding.
A note about varying pay
If your paychecks vary, then this will generally result in over-withholding (a refund). To see why, imagine there was just a $10,000 standard deduction and a flat 10% tax on everything else. Taxes on $60,000 would be 10% of $50,000 or $5,000. Taxes on $120,000 would therefore be $11,000. So we see tax on 2N is more than twice the tax on N. This is true for our actual tax brackets (progressive taxation)
Now if we assume perfect withholding, if you make $N one pay period, and $2N the other, withholding won't be based on 1½×N. The $2N paycheck over-withheld more than the $N paycheck under-withheld, so this means you had a bit too much taken out; hence a refund. Fixing this is very difficult, so you may want to use the IRS withholding calculator or just enter a value in Step 3 (Credits).
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How withholding works
An image showing the steps of withholding is here but it's just:- The IRS tells your employer to take your income subject to tax (gross income minus pre-tax deductions)
- Multiply by total pay periods that year (26, e.g.)
- Add or subtract anything you put in for W-4 Other Income or W-4 Deductions
- Subtract the standard deduction
- Compute tax on that (10% on the first $11,600, 12% on the next... etc.)1
- Subtract the amount you had for credits in W-4 Step 3
- Divide by the number of pay periods
- Add the amount in W-4 Extra withholding
| Single | Married | Rate |
|---|---|---|
| $0 | $0 | 0% |
| $14,600 | $29,200 | 10% |
| $26,200 | $52,400 | 12% |
| $61,750 | $123,500 | 22% |
| $115,125 | $230,250 | 24% |
The W-4 has four boxes for you to adjust withholding (outside of filing status and Step 2's handling of multiple jobs). You can move the amount you have withheld by raising or lowering your assumed annualized income, or by raising or lowering your withholding, dollar for dollar. Note when withholding goes up you net paycheck amount goes down, but your refund goes up (or amount owe goes down).
| Amt withheld | Assumed Income | Withholding $ for $ |
|---|---|---|
| Increases | Other Income (4a) | Extra withholding (4c) |
| Decreases | Deductions (4b) | Dep's/credits (3) |
| Item | Time period |
|---|---|
| Dep's/credits (3) | Annual |
| Other Income (4a) | Annual |
| Deductions (4b) | Annual |
| Extra withholding (4c) | Per pay period |
Basic Examples
Say Alexis has a salary of $100,000, paid bi-weekly (26× a year).Example Simple is just $100,000, Single. Tax computation if you don't trust me [is here] or paycheckcity is a good source, but is $13,841. Hence $532.35 withheld 26 times. And note in the screenshots, boxes with fill colors and dashed borders are inputs, the rest is computed.
Example Simple Pretax shows how pre-tax deductions lower withholding, but don't interfere with withholding accuracy. Alexis's $2,600 in deductions is $100 per bi-weekly paycheck. Alexis is in the 22% tax bracket, so that's $22 less withheld per paycheck. Annually, $2,600×22% = $572 less tax. $13,841 ([Example Simple]((https://i.imgur.com/Y0MoUbC.png))) minus $572 is $13,269.
Example Simple Joint shows how filing status alone also doesn't mess up withholding accuracy. Tax is lower for Married (filing joint, in all these examples), but the withholding algorithm knows this and computes tax on the Joint tables vs Single depending on what you put in Step 1 of the W-4.
Other Income & Deductions
Steps 4a & 4b (Other Income & Deductions) on the W-4 cover alternations to your work's annualized income.
Example Extra Income shows what happens if Alexis gets $300 in extra, un-withheld income, like bank interest. Her tax goes up $300×22% = $66. Example Extra Income Fixed shows how putting $300 in Other Income (4a) means she doesn't need to do that math -- it's taken care of in the algorithm. Even if her extra income passed a tax bracket, it's no issue. The algorithm will just lump Other Income with the rest of her income just how the 1040 does.
Example Deduction shows the opposite -- if Alexis puts $7,000 to her IRA, she would normally get 22% of that ($1,540) back. But she can put $7,000 into Deductions (4b) to lower her withholding (by $1,540/26 per paycheck) to get paid that money during the year which we see in Example Deduction fixed.
Note that your employer's instructions tell them to assume you take the standard deduction. If you itemize, only put the amount over the standard deduction in Deductions.
Example Itemize shows why: if Alexis's Schedule A total is $1,000 more than her standard deduction, she saves $220 on taxes. But she only should add $1,000 in Deductions to even it out as we see in Example Itemized fixed (see W-4 Deductions Worksheet).
Extra Withholding
Extra withholding is needed when you deal with the "Other taxes" on the 1040, usually reserved for high-income earners or people who have to pay penalties for early withdrawals or who owe from previous years. It's also often used as a buffer to make sure you don't owe. For example, if you don't know your bank interest or capital gains, you can put a value here to help keep from owing.
Example Extra withholding shows how a high-income earner has to pay an Additional Medicare Tax. The $540 in extra tax is dealt with $540/26 into Extra withholding. Note this box (4c) unlike the others (Step 3, 4a, 4b) works per paycheck instead of using annual figures.
Credits
The final of the four boxes we can alter on W-4, Step 3, is for credits. It's labelled Claim Dependent and Other Credits, so note it's for all credits like educational credits or buying an EV.
Example Credits shows a simple credit -- if Alexis gets a $2,500 credit, she can put $2,500 in Step 3 and she'll have $2,500/26 less withheld per paycheck.
Non-refundable credits -- treat as all other credits
A non-refundable credit will subtract from your tax liability but -- unlike a refundable credit -- won't cause your tax liability to go below $0 (and thankfully, refundable credits are subtracted after non-refundable credits).
Example non-refundable credit, full shows how a non-refundable credit on Step 3 works fine if the taxpayer has the income to support it. If Alexis (whose tax is over $13,000) buys a Tesla and gets the $7,500 EV credit, withholding works with Step 3 as well as always.
Example non-refundable credit, partial shows how a non-refundable credit also isn't a problem with income that doesn't have enough tax to take full advantage. In this case, with a lower income, some of the $7,500 is unused. Yet with $7,500 in Step 3, the taxpayer's income went to $0; and with a tax liability of $0 after the credit, things work out.
In other words, put your non-credits in Step 3 and don't worry if you take full advantage. And refundable credits don't have this issue, either, since they let tax go <$0.
More Advanced Examples
BonusesBonuses are taxed just as ordinary income but withholding rules your employer follows are different. Note one-off or infrequent bonuses should have a flat 22% withheld. The other method of withholding is out of scope of this post.
Example Bonus shows if Alexis gets a $10,000 bonus, it add $2,200 to her tax. Her employer kept $2,200 back, so there's nothing to do.
Example Bonus, high income shows what happens at higher incomes or higher bonuses (it's all added together). Her $16,125 bonus now fills up the rest of the 22% bracket, and (a convenient!) $1,000 is going to be taxed at 24%. Since the whole bonus is withheld at 22% per regulation, she's going to owe 24%-22%=2% of $1,000, or $20. Putting $1 in Extra withholding will address this.
Example Bonus, low income shows what happens at lower incomes. If Alexis makes $50,000/yr, that's in the 12% bracket. So her 22% withholding on $10,000 means she's getting (22%-12%)×$1,000 = $100 back in a refund. She can correct this by claiming he shas a $100 credit, so $100 in Step 3 in Example Bonus, low fixed
Self employment
Self-employment can get complicated, so for Example Self Employment let's zero some things out, but we'll keep the $100,000 in Alexis's base job. She decides to do side gigs, expecting to clear $10,000 in profit (gross income minus deductions) by the end of the year. She's going to need to pay both income tax, but also self-employment tax, which is about twice the 6.2%+1.45% FICA tax that employees pay for Social Security and Medicare.
So $10,000 means $1,413 in self-employment tax. Divide by 26 to put $54 in Extra withholding. Now half of that is deductible, so we have $707 taken off her income (even without itemizing, this is called an adjustment), so we need $707 in Deductions. And thanks to something called QBI deduction (through 2025), her $10,000 gets discounted 20%, so that's $8,000 in Other Income. Putting all three items in the W-4 results in near-perfect withholding (amount due is rounding error from Extra withholding).
Multiple Jobs
For a few reasons, the W-4 does not communicate information about other jobs to your employer. In other words, the W-4/employer instructions assumes you only have one job, so you need to adjust other boxes to compensate. Failing to do so is common, and results in money owed.Example Multiple Unchecked, a complicated one for those curious, shows why multiple jobs can mess up withholding. Each employer, acting as they are your only employer, subtracts the standard deduction from your annualized wages and starts at 10% for dollars above that. But because income stacks, one of those jobs needs to withhold more.
Step 2 on the W-4 deals with multiple jobs and you pick only one option:
- 2a is the online withholding calculator. It's out of scope for this long-enough post.
- 2b is the Multiple Jobs Worksheet
- 2c is the Two Jobs Checkbox which works great if incomes are similar between two jobs
Multiple Jobs: The Two Jobs Checkbox (withhold as Single option)
Say Alexis gets married and her spouse also makes $100,000. They can both select Married Filing Joint on the W-4 and check the Two Jobs/2c checkbox, which says it's a good choice if the two jobs are within ½ of each other (so if one job is $100k, the other should be $50k-$200k). This is the same as the "Married, but withhold at the higher Single rate" checkbox on pre-2020 W-4's. In fact, it's the same math as if Alexis and her spouse selected Single and left 2c unchecked, thanks to the brackets for Joint being double that of Single (up to a high income anyway).
Example 2c checkbox, working shows how well the 2c checkbox works for two jobs of similar incomes. And it doesn't have to be for married couples, it works on Single earners as well (it essentially tells the employer to withhold half of what it normally would)
Example 2c checkbox, bad shows how the 2c checkbox fails if the incomes are different. The guidance about "half the other income" on the W-4 is good advice, but this shows what really matters is if each job is in the same Single bracket (accounting for the standard deduction). Some of Alexis's income was withheld at 22% when it will be taxed at 12% when filing Joint as her spouse had extra "ceiling" to fill up in 12%.
Multiple Jobs: the W-4 Multiple Jobs Worksheet ("MJW")
Example MJW Intro shows a candidate for the Multiple Jobs Worksheet, because the incomes are different (although note the Job 1 income is over $110,000, the last column the Worksheet uses). It works by looking up the two jobs on a W-4 table to get a figure, then dividing that figure by number of pay periods (really you should divide by number of pay periods left in the year) and putting that into Extra withholding. It essentially makes up for the fact that both jobs are subtracting out the standard deduction from their incomes.
The Multiple Job Worksheet works, but note the figures in the W-4 table are biased towards giving refunds. Taxpayers are generally happier getting refunds, and the IRS certainly doesn't mind not having to collect amounts owed.
Example MJW high shows the bias in a worst-case scenario -- if your incomes are both towards the bottom end of a column or row value (like $X0,000), it can result in very high refunds, which really means you had too much withheld from your paychecks.
Example MJW low shows the opposite -- with values on the high end of column/row values (like $X9,000) you get more accurate withholding and may even owe a little bit.
Multiple Jobs: Assigning credits to the higher income
Whenever you enter values for Deductions or Credits (steps 4b and 3, respectively) it may not matter on whose W-4 you put them on, but it's safer to put them on the W-4 with the higher-paying job. This is because you want there to be enough "room" in the normal withholding to absorb the amount the withholding will go down. For example, if a credit normally means $500 less withheld per paycheck, you want a job that withholds at least $500 without that credit. Since withholding can't go below $0, it would be inaccurate otherwise.
Example MJW No Kids shows two jobs with $0 owed or due with the Multiple Jobs Worksheet (Job 2 income is just what happens to get $0 result with the $99,000 Job 1 income). If the couple has/expects a child by 12/31, they will want to add a $2,000 Child Tax Credit (and you want this for the full year, credits are not pro-rated by months).
Example Credit assigned to high income shows how a credit assigned to the higher income works fine.
Example Credit assigned to low income switches Job 1 and Job 2 incomes and shows how a credit assigned to the lower income can cause issues. Job 2 only had $792 withheld over the year, so a $2,000 CTC causes a $2,000-$792 refund.
Part-time, seasonal, or not full year work
If you have part-time or seasonal work, or really any work where paychecks aren't similar the whole year, the W-4 can be very inaccurate, because the W-4 assumes you make the same amount each and every pay period for the full year. But there are easy solutions (easier than the IRS withholding calculator which you can always use)With a full-time job
Example Main and Part-time job shows what to do if you have a full-time job, and you (or even a spouse) has part-time work: figure your total income for part-time work and put that in the main job's Other Income (4a). This job now handles all withholding, and now you just need to set the part time job(s) to $0 withholding. You can do this by marking the "Exempt..." box on those W-4's, or putting a large number, say $15,000 into Step 3. This works because a Single filer needs over $100,000 to have a tax of >$15,000.
With only part-time work
Example Part-time job shows what to do if you don't have a full-time job. For a part-time job, you can:
1) Estimate your total income for the year 2) Use any online calculator to estimate your tax due on that income (note some calculators ask for "taxable income"; if so, subtract the standard deduction from step 1!) 3) Divide that number by the total number of paychecks you expect to receive that year 4) Put that number in Extra withholding (4c) 5) Put a large number like $15,000 in Step 3 to make sure that the number you put in Extra withholding is the only amount withheld.
If you have multiple part-time jobs, you can do the same as above, but the math gets tricky -- the whole reason the W-4 fails with multiple jobs is not accounting for the fact income stacks. So if you have a second job, figure its tax on top of previous jobs.
Example multiple Part-time jobs shows how this can be done. Forgive the very simple numbers, it's to help illustrate the process. Using online tax estimators can help you figure the tax on Job 1, and then just add in Job 2's income, take the increase in tax, and use that for Job 2's basis. So $Job_1_tax/number_of_paychecks goes into Job 1's Extra withholding. Then ($Job_2_tax-$Job_1_tax)/number_of_paychecks_job_2 goes into Job 2's Extra withholding.
If your paychecks vary, then this will generally result in over-withholding (a refund). To see why, imagine there was just a $10,000 standard deduction and a flat 10% tax on everything else. Taxes on $60,000 would be 10% of $50,000 or $5,000. Taxes on $120,000 would therefore be $11,000. So we see tax on 2N is more than twice the tax on N. This is true for our actual tax brackets (progressive taxation)
Now if we assume perfect withholding, if you make $N one pay period, and $2N the other, withholding won't be based on 1½×N. The $2N paycheck over-withheld more than the $N paycheck under-withheld, so this means you had a bit too much taken out; hence a refund. Fixing this is very difficult, so you may want to use the IRS withholding calculator or just enter a value in Step 3 (Credits).