So I know that not only thin women get harassed and assaulted. I know this bc I’m fat and have been r*ped & assaulted on separate occasions, so that’s not what I’m trying to say at all.
My question is though, is visiting Turkey or Egypt a different experience as a fat women? I visited Italy and Albania and heard that men can be aggressive in those places. Most men left me completely alone (a blessing) and others were overtly rude - maybe bc I dared to be unattractive and they think a woman’s only job is to be attractive for men?
Are fat women more likely to be left alone in Egypt or Turkey or is there some hostile aggression that a woman is something other than eye candy for men? Or is the level of harassment and abuse the same? Anyone who is overweight have any insight?

My ex likely had NPD and some other... issues. He was kind of covert, though. He wouldn't raise his voice, he was more about doing covert things to get a reaction out of me. Getting a reaction out of me seemed to be his biggest goal.
He was also a fake people pleaser, but there were a number of things he said clearly that he was opposed to. When we first got together I was poly and told him that and he wasn't OK with it. So I became monogamous with him which was fine but it was a sacrifice I made. Later in the relationship I suggested opening the relationship to get his needs met because we had a dead bedroom situation because I had serious health issues and he didn't seem to understand how to work around them to maintain intimacy. He agreed but with the stipulation that I could only sleep with women. I told him that wasn't fair and we had an argument.
The outcome of the argument is that he decided not to open the relationship because if I were to sleep with another man it would mean that he was "a failure as both a man and a lover" [his words] so I left it at that. A couple weeks later I caught him cheating on me [dumb right!?! I was giving him permission and he rejected it!].
There were some other things. He told me he hated cigarette smokers. He told me he thinks overweight women are unattractive. He refused to get kinky in the bedroom with me even though he had a "kink kit" that he got from the mall or something before we met. He said he doesn't smoke weed [that was a lie.. he was just mirroring me when I told him I didn't smoke weed].
When he left me on a whim, he immediately got into a relationship and moved in with a person who 1. was overweight 2. heavily smoked cigarettes and weed 3. was into public kink 4. was VERY poly 5. whose favorite band was probably in my top 5 most disliked bands [he later rubbed this in my face so I'm adding it here for context] 6. was a sex worker
He basically got into a relationship with the type of person he either told me he hated, or was diametrically opposed to everything that he expected of me and restricted me to.
I've done a lot of healing since the breakup, but this is one thing I haven't made total peace with. How can someone create and hold certain expectations of me, and then make a complete 180? Is it a NPD thing?
He also tried really hard to rub this relationship in my face after the breakup. He was trying to get a jealous reaction out of me, and he kept upping the ante when he didn't get it. It led to him creating a fake story about how he was dying, which certainly got a reaction out of me.. I called his family to ask if he was OK and then he got angry at me for exposing his BS and blocked me.
I'm wondering if others here have experienced similar, because if I can throw it into the "irrational NPD behavior" bin perhaps I can make peace with it. Thank you for reading.

I (F20) am a foreign worker in Middle East, currently I am in university completing my bachelor’s. My university is mostly online, so I thought why not get some experience in another country? Long story short, I left my country and starting working in another. At first, I really liked my job. I was working as a receptionist, although I was bullied a lot, I was determined to survive and make something out of myself, as I was 19 at that time and working in a foreign country was a dream come true. Slowly, I started seeing red flags. As my company used to twist and turn rules all the time. If the government asked the company to decrease the hours and make them 6, my company would make it 7 by finding a loophole. By Government, it is a must that every employee is provided a health insurance, but guess what? I was never provided one. By law, the break should be 1 hour, but I had only 45 minutes. They even decrease the number of national holidays for employees. Tbh, it’s a very small company so no one have the guts to complain but a lot of people left during this whole period. It’s been 1/5 years since I’m working here, recently while coming to work I tripped and hurt myself. I couldn’t go to work for 2 days and a lot of work was compromised. But, my boss was like I’m okay with it because he could see the bruises and the swelling in my foot. I can’t afford health check up here, as I earn like an average salary and rents too high plus my tuition fees so I requested my company for insurance and waited almost 7 days for it. After getting the insurance, I went to the clinic and it turns out I suffered bone trauma and my ligament was damaged and that’s why I was feeling terrible pain and was unable to walk properly. Anyways, my boss usually verbally abuses me, calls me name, reaches out to be outside of my working hours, makes me do his personal work as well and underpays me (Not just me though, there’s one more person and he got it worst than me) was nicer than usual because of this injury. After my visit to the clinic, I went to work and as soon as I entered my boss’s office he asked me to cut the act and stand straight? (Which I was unable to because I was in pain and doctor advised me not to put pressure on my leg as my bones got some tenderness) I was dumbfounded, and then proceeded to call me names such as an actress and God knows what not. (Additionally My boss is a M42, he always commented on my height, and how fat women aren’t attractive and how fair women are prettier & I always felt so uncomfortable.) I told him I was hurt and I have government issued 6 days sick leave, he was like that means you will be working from home. I told him that no that would be working from home not sick leave. Anyways, he made fun of me and had a lot of mean comments about me, and told me to go home. While I was leaving I asked my manager where I can drop my sick leave and to my shock my boss said there’s no need to submit a sick leave to my manager as they reject my sick leave and I will be working from home. At that time I didn’t say anything because I knew it was useless but as soon as I got home I planned that I will not work from home as I do need to pay govt a fees for these sick leaves and these leaves meant that I can rest without working which I desperately needed. Around the time I was supposed to be clocked in, I informed my boss that I will not be working from home and I have proper sick leave for it. Fast forward to the afternoon I get a call from my manager saying that those days which I will not show up to work will be considered unpaid as I am not working? As per the instructions of my boss. Which is totally unfair because sick leaves are fully paid leaves? I have a good relation ship with my manager he proceeded to tell me that my boss called me names such as a mother Tucker and sister Tucker and worst and said that I’m abusing their kindness?? I want to quit so bad, but I can’t as I need to get a loan from a bank and a bank will only give you loan if you are working at a company from longer than 6 months and I desperately need that money so that I can pay my tuition in an Australian university and move there. It’s my dream, and the only reason I am waiting for the loan is that bank only gives loan to 20+ years old adults and I will turn 20 on 2nd of June. It may seem really close but believe me every minute at work is emotionally physically and mentally challenging and I am very close to giving up I just can’t take it anymore and I feel so messed up as I have fallen into anxiety and depressed and I cry all the time. I have no idea what to do and I would really appreciate some advise on how to handle this situation.
Please note that other than the loan thing I have no means to afford education in Australia so that’s why I am waiting and I have been waiting for the time I can get the loan.

(Im sorry if my english is bad) For starters me (19M) and my best friend (18M) have known eachother since birth. We are both in a friend group that resulted from all of our parents being friends with eachother. The group consists of us two, another guy (19M) and two girls (18F) and (19F). We all grew up very close in Russia, however I am ukrainian. We went to school together, went on vacations together and generally were all doing everything together. Not long ago, when picking out collages, my best friend was telling me about how he wishes he could stay in Russia and how he cant because of some reasons I will not share here, and so naturally I offered that I could go to college with him in another country. Fast forward a few months later we both got into a pretty good collage in Finland. Now about our backround basically my best friend is very close with one of the girls in the group but they both stated that they do not like eachother and if you ask me, they didnt seem to have any kind of spark between eachother. However he was also very close to the other guy in the group. By close I mean that they literally acted like a couple. Whenever we would have school summer camps they would share a bed and sometimes I would even catch them cuddle, they would hug a lot etc. and generally make a lot of jokes about being gay for eachoter and liking eachother. You should know that my best friend is extremely handsome, I mean like model handsome. He is tall, not too muscular and not too skinny, pale skin, green eyes, soft blonde hair and very beautiful features. He looks so beautiful from every single angle, he looks beautiful while he sleeps, when he laughs, when he cries and is probably the most beautiful person I have ever met in my entire life. Despite that, he has never been in a relationship. A lot of girls have liked him in the past but he rejected them and he is pretty popular on social media and gets praised for his looks online as well. Aside from his looks he is also very smart. He is passionated about history and linguistics, he is good at maths and in general he is a very cultured person. He is very kind, funny, loving and has this sensitive side that he doesnt show too often. He just lights up the room everytime even though he is not that kind of positive and happy person you would imagine. He has gone through a lot in his childhood, things that I will not mention. On his 18th birthday, some things happened and I was lucky enough to be in time to stop them, which resulted into him bursting in tears in my arms and telling me how he feels about his life. A lot of time has passed since that event. Now we share an apartament here in Finland and go to college together. He seems happier, or maybe since he doesn’t spend that much time alone anymore he is just distracting himself from all the things he was going through. It is currently risky for me to go back in my home country and so I usually just go to Russia together with him on holidays. I am really enjoying all the time spent with him and I have never felt happier for such a long period of time. Recently he started hanging out with another guy from the same college and not going to lie but I feel kind of jealous. Since then I started to question my feelings for him. I never pictured myself or him actually being gay, let alone together in a relationship. I feel scared and nervous. My mother and her boyfriend will definitely hate me more than they already do and my father will probably think Im a disappointment. I feel as if I am betraying my religion and my identity but at the same time I feel so happy with this man. And here comes the biggest problem of all, what if after all he isnt gay and I will ruin our friendship. Yesterday night he went over to the new guys house.The guy likes him, he told me, asking for advice and more things about my best friend. I was kind of mad that I didnt get invited too, especially when he knows how close we are. Before going, I acted kind of rude towards him, which I regret, but he brushed it off and just left. Later at night when he came home, I was already in bed, pretending to sleep. I heard him change and get straight into his bed. A few moments later he started crying. He was crying very badly and I could tell he was trying to keep quiet. I dont know if anything happened there or if he was crying about my response or about his past because I simply didnt get up or have any kind of reaction, which again, I regret. I tried talking to him today in the morning, I didnt tell him I heard how he cried, I just acted normal, and although he wasnt his usual self, he didnt act sad or anything. I dont know wether I should or should not ask him about last night. And most importantly I dont know if I should tell him about my feelings for him and explain the situation.

Warning this story contains sexual assault, i wil not be describing this, there is also mention of mental abuse (i don't really know what to call it, i'm sorry)
My ex-boyfriend(27m) Jason and i (26f) have been broken up for 4 years, yes, we broke up during the pandemic however it was a long time coming. We stayed friends, as we have a lot of friends in common and frequently meet up. Over time i have come to a conclusion that i don't want to be near him anymore and need help or advice on what to do with our mutual friends.
I''l give you a bit of history. We were together for 4 years, so when we were about 17-18. Both of us have a tumultuous history and when we met, we bonded over that. It is important to the story i share a bit of my history, i was sexually assaulted when i was a child and had kept it to myself until i was about 17, my healing proces started around the same time(i have ptsd). Jason went throug an abusive relationship, this is all i'm going to say as it is not mine to share. Both of us needed help, we held on to eachother, i became what he needed. He tried to help but i guess he got lost. He manipulated, sexually assaulted, raped me and made me believe i was at fault for it. He compared me to his ex, who was always compared to a contolling monster, it made me feel like i was one. He counted the amount of days we didn't have sex to say that he was great for not cheating, reiterating that he is a great person for putting up with my trauma and problems. I don't want to say i was a perfect person, i can only imagine it is difficult to have a partner with my baggage. I'm also not saying it was all bad or that i think he is a monster but he left me with more trauma than i started with. Even though i only came to this realisation after we broke up.
When we broke up we decided that we would stay friends, after al we never fought. I've know my friends since i was about 12 years old, Jason became a part of that friendgroep when we started dating. My friends are my family, they are amasing people, who i never want to lose. Jason is a guy that will let you feel if he thinks you of lesser intelligence. He has people in our group where he thinks himself better because he is more intelligent. In my opinion he takes whatever he reads and accepts it as his own opinion, he often does not speak in nuance or his own expirience, or with enough reliable sources. For example he thought it was not hard to get a vasectomy for woman, or at least just as hard for men with just as much consequenses. (idiot) Please don't take this as fully true, i might just have short sight where he is concerned.
Let's get to where i need help. Around Christmass this year a couple in our friendgroup broke up, it was a rough time for them and they leaned on their friends for help, obviously. It got heated cause one of them was moving on with a different person from our group while the other wanted to hold on to their relationship. At one point jason needed to take a step back, because he cound't handle being in between the two camp, which i understand, one of them was going throug heavy mental struggles.
When he decided to take a step back from the situation i reached out to him, to check up on him, cause i knew he sometimes struggled with this kind of stuff. In the last couple of years we never really talked, i really stuggled with being "nice" , this is in quotation cause i can be quit passive agressive towards him. i see his red flags more than others maybe?
We started talking about how we handled our break up and how it was easier for us cause of the pandemic, we didn't need to see eachother. He started to talkabout maybe dating again soon and i playfully, not really playfully give him advice. I quote 'Maybe don't count the days you don't have sex, comparing them to you're horrible ex, just some advice haha' he immidiatly confirmed the dick move. This started a conversation where he admitted and apologized for raping me and abusing me, his words. He admitted to being abusive! I cound't believ it, i never thought he would realise what he did let alone admit this to me. I can't tell you how relieved i was, i never talked to anybody exept my psycholigist. I din't feel like i had the right to tell our friends cause WE decided we were friends, i didn't want to come off as a scorned ex, i didn't think they would believe me. Maybe they would think i was just seeing the bad things and exagerating. After the converstation we decided to meet and have a face to face conversation. A lot of crying and me saying it to his face that he raped me during our 4 year relationship i felt drained. He also gave me 'permission' to talk to our friends about it.
Before i wanted to share with them i needed to breath again, in my life i go though shit and i need moment to just be able to really relatavize things. Just two days after our conversation he texted to meet up again, he needed tot talk to me... I panicked and immidiently said yes, i thought he was going to take everything back and say i overeacted, that i was at fault, which i was definetly not. We met, he wanted to know what i meant by guilt.... WTF, what do you mean? Guilt, yes you are guilty, you did this, maybe not with violence but i said no, you did it anyways, dickhead. No, he wanted me to tell him i don't think he is a rapist now, or i don't think he is a monster. And while yes, i don't think he is a bad guy or a monster, he was to me in that time. He might have changed. I think he did, he's admittance is prove of that. Let me tell you tho i yelled at this man, why do you need me to help you deal with this, you did this to me and now you want to play victim to me. Poor you, you raped me? I told him to leave me alone, that i needed him to not involve me in this cause i can't. Again he is making me feel bad because something that happened between us harms him.
It has been a month and last week was the first time i told my girlfriends, who are part of this friendgroup, what a relieve. They told me in no uncertain terms that they believed me and that i get to make decision in if i'm comfertable with him around me, i love them. They both have reached out to me if i need totalk about it they are here for me. They have also expressed disgust haha.
I'm not planning on not sharing what happened between us with my friends, i always felt like a burden by sharing but i need support and i'm learning that they want to be there for me. A couple of others know and they are also there for me, whatever i need.
Now here is where i need your advice. I don't want my friends to feel like they need to not be friends with him. I decided that i don't want him near me anymore, the way that second conversation went really striked me the wrong way, i'm done with him. Now i know he is not a monster, he is a different Jason to me than he is for the others. He was a best man at the wedding of my bestfriends, he was there for them when they have had a difficult time, i don't want them to feel ike i want them out of their lives for me. A lot of us view our friendship as family, i don't want them to lose that. What do i do? How do i handle this? I need help, i need any advice you can give me.
Thank you for reading, also English is not my first language, i appoligize for any weird mistakes.
Again thank you.

TLDR; tenant has vacated the premises early and wants security deposit ASAP but they still owe rent for 2 weeks in June.
I’m a landlord renting out my townhome in San Francisco. Tenants have been fine until they recently gave notice. Our month-to-month addendum to the full year lease stated that both parties must give 60 days notice. In mid-April they gave notice and stated they wanted to vacate by end of May. I kindly referred them to the addendum reminding them that our contract will end in mid-June. As an offer of good faith, I said if I can rent the unit out before June 15th, I will only charge you the prorated amount (e.g. new tenants move in June 6th, old tenants would be charged for only 5 days). They agreed and offered to help share our listing. They stated that they are planning on leaving the premises in May, and we just completed a virtual and in-person walk-through (May 15). Fortunately only minor issues and we agreed to take those charges off their security deposit. The challenge now is that they’re asking for the security deposit back now that we’ve done the walk-through and they handed over the keys last week. They are quoting CA civil code that “the deposit must be paid back no later than 21 calendar days after tenant has vacated the premises.” They are claiming they vacated on May 8th but they still had the keys until May 15th when we completed the walk-through in person. They want their deposit (minus deductions we agreed to) on May 29th. The problem is, they still owe rent for half of June still.
My thoughts are: 1) doesn’t the fact that the tenants had sole access to the premises until May 15 mean that that’s the “vacated date”? Meaning the 21 days starts then, and the deposit would be due no later than June 5th. 2) if they need the money immediately, should I offer the option for them to take the entire security deposit (minus the deductions, and the June rent that is owed)? I don’t want to charge the rent owed out of their deposit, but I think due to their poor scheduling, they may need the cash sooner rather than later. This would mean they forfeit the option of getting any prorated rent for June back.
I feel like we were both very professional and accommodating throughout the last 2 years and I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but also protect myself from having to chase down the June rent that they owe.
This is my first experience as a landlord and first move-out process, so I appreciate any advice you can share.

I mean what PPBs are basically doing is skewing the gender ratio so that for every women you are with, a local man is cockblocked. If you start a family with her, you are depriving one local man from starting one. I'm not against PPBing but this does make me a little sad

Hi guys, tomorrow I graduate and I wanted to decorate my cap to be themed around Bojack Horseman. The show means a lot to me (as it does to the rest of this subreddit). But I do not know what quote to include. Honestly- college wasn't for me but I survived. Currently thinking of putting on the cap either "Onwards and Upwards!" (Said by pc) or "All that exists is what's ahead." (Said by Secretariat).
Does anyone have any other quote suggestions? There are so many iconic ones I don't know which one to pick ! Please help 🙏🏻

when you are at your lowest, in need of care, and clearly not all there- it's easier for me to be there for you as I know that ultimately that version is not really you. The meanness has an excuse. It's a reaction to brain chemicals.
BUT when I bring up reasonable topics like communication styles or hurt feelings- you get nasty, mean, cutting, take those things I confessed to you (my scars you said you would kiss) and use them to hurt me.
When I came to you to discuss feelings or my safety in relationship (emails in April)- You got so easily frustrated and rude, raising your voice when I spoke that, it was exhausting and felt suffocating.
Also, the pain of it all. When that's going on I don't see what my purpose is staying in situation with you. i don't feel valued, I feel mocked, hated- so I dip and figure that's how you want it. I don't want to keep fighting to show you who I am. Like I'll lay it out for you of course- sure. I don't have anything to hide, but it gets tiring when it's just a never ending court case requiring constant testimony and statements.
if you would open up, be forgiving, understanding, and vulnerable with me, you would see how quickly all important information about me would flood in. So stop looking down so harshly on me, please.
I want(Ed) to stay, and still do as your friend, but why are signals always mixed? Why do you hide the good stuff?

Hi Everyone,
I know a lot of us come here to rant about AM setup, so am I... TBH it has got to a point where it is affecting my mental health. I can see my parents immensely affected that their daughter of age:29 isn't married or near it yet
I don't understand why does a girl who has a few strict criterion look upon as moody and difficult.
We(my parents and I) have been shuffling these AM websites/newspapers and haven't been able to finalize one decent enough guy.
All I ever wanted was a guys with following qualities:

• ⁠Bengali, born between 1992 and 1995, decent looking, decent earning, stable job, height at least 5.9
  
• someone with whom I can feel at ease, feel at home, find calmness even in silence, count on him at my lowest and excited to share my happiness with
  
• ⁠living in any of the metro cities(so that I can continue my job)
  
• not take any dowry, I know my father will definitely want to give but I would want my man to have the guts to deny and rather volunteer for 50-50 wedding if possible
  
• should be each other's best friends
  
• ⁠should have strong values
  
• provide personal space, trust each other
  
• look outside family and consider us as a team
  
• work as a team. Not expect me to do all the house hold chores. I will definitely support in our home finances as per my capacity.
  
• ⁠enjoy cooking experimental at home occasionally. I can do survival cooking and rather I keep making quite a few dishes that I see on the internet but please don't expect me to cook all 4 meals by myself daily. One should be okay to have a cook for daily meals
  
• ⁠equal respect for both set of parents and siblings
  
• ⁠ready to have conversations and not declare his thoughts as the ultimate thing
  
• ⁠identity and acknowledge the wrong even if it is from his side of the family
  
• be my workout buddy, may be play some sport with me. I am chubby so I need to be active throughout the year
  
• ⁠should be foodie
  
• ⁠willing to travel and explore not being a couch potato all the time
  
• ⁠non pet loving (I have my own set of reasons)
  
• ⁠shouldn’t expect me to do all 16 shringaar all the time while the boys don’t even change their salutations after marriage. I will definitely do all that during festivals but it won't be possible on a daily basis.
  
• ⁠should be ready to stay separately from parents same as the girls are expected to
  
• ⁠can have past but should be out of it completely
  
• ⁠thoughts on having kids should match, can be discussed
  
• ⁠Drinking - Occasionally, Smoking - No
  
• Comfortable around/with my friends, I just a have handful of them.
  

Note: The guy will definitely find these qualities in me too, I can assure that.
But what we find is sometimes very disgusting and I hate those mothers who carry that invisible attitude of " Hum Ladke Wale Hain" with their boys having weird expectations from a girl but won't change an ounce of their habits and behaviour. Some guys are so damn rude and clearly say they won't be able to take care of my parents when they get old, some guys ghost for stupid reasons, some guys are so desperate, some guys were upset that I did share my trip pictures with them( within just 3-4 days of talk) some guys want an answer so as to why I am trying the AM path even though I have been living in a Tier 1 almost all my life, some guy's mothers straight up want me to baby sit and take care of there grown up sons and want me leave work after kids, some mothers find me overweight, some fathers want to know how much cooking I can do, sometimes the kundalis don't match.... I MEAN ITS TOO MUCH TO DIGEST.
I can go on and on....
Girls how are you all dealing with the AM pressure, please do let me know. Please help...

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“Now that we can talk, I think proper introductions are now in order,” Thallion formally states, as if he were a dignitary. “ am Thallion Emberwind, teacher of knowledge and keeper of info for the village of Caelora, in which you find yourself at this moment.”
“You have already met my sister-”
“Enough of that!” Lena interjects. “Hello again, I’m Lena.”
“And I am Silvra, it is good to finally speak to you clearly, hopefully intent is properly being passed now.”
“And I am Ethan Mitchell, I was an engineer in training, before I fell on a bucket and ended up here crossing who knows how many dimensions. I probably am also the one to have accidentally broke the tower, survived running through the blizzard, nearly knocked out Kidman, and… probably killed a guard.” I say, recapping how busy the last few days have been. As I speak, my pace slows and I can feel the beginning of a panic attack rising again.
The room falls silent, the gravity of my unintended confessions settling like a heavy cloak around us. I can feel a tightness building in my chest, the cold of the room seeping into my bones as the faces around me blurred.
“I… I killed someone, no thoughts, no hesitation, just…pow, wrist… in… torso.”
My eyes lose focus, my breathing increases in pace, and the weight of everything finally comes over me. Here I am, on a completely different planet, caught sometime between 1000 and 1600 equivalent, probably the smartest person here, but with the people skills of a gnat, and the thing I know the most is not even going to be invented for at least 200 years. I’ll most likely never see my family, or my friends, even though there are only a few. Hopefully my cat is ok. I also have only managed to cross the language barrier just recently, but was doing charades before that. I am useless in combat, never taking anything martial. I did swim, but not for a long time, and I was a soccer referee before that. Not only that, but I show up as dead to these elves. My phone shows more life than me!
Retreating further into my head, the idea that my summoning was a complete mistake builds up, and something inside me snaps. I do something I have not done in years.
I cry. And I don’t mean a single tear of mourning, whilst looking at a sunset. I bawl. Here I am, knowing no one, probably hunted, and easy to be considered dead. Here on the whim of an accident that took way too much power, but not the first time they tried it, according to the holding area I ran through. I am worthless, the summoning probably targeted my phone more than it targeted me!
Curling up on the floor, I let the emotions overtake me, I feel the eyes of the others upon me but I don’t care. Here I am, and there is no going back. Even if I was to return and “turn myself in” they would probably just take the phone and dump me or off me. Maybe I should just-
Suddenly, I am held, not angrily, or by the shoulders, but in a full wraparound hug. My thoughts immediately fly to when I was younger and being held by my mom, which only makes me feel worse.
“Shhh. Shhh. It’s ok.” Lena whispers in my ear, “You’ve been through a lot. A kid like you being pulled from your world, and thrust into this position, it is too much. I don’t know much about how summoning works, but why choose a kid, I don’t know. Just, hold me.
I don’t move, but slowly my breathing calms, and I stop sweating as profusely.
“Now, tell me, how old are you?”
“Twenty five”
“Twenty five?!” All shout in shock and surprise.
“Y-y-yes…”
Lena loosens her grip on me, and starts to get up. I stand up too, but am still shaking, the hug not lasting long enough.
“How long do your people live?” She asks, slightly perturbed.
“About eighty or so, longest is about one hundred”
“That, that is about our length! You are no kid! You…you are an adult! But short! What…how… who are you?!”
“I am Ethan, a human from Earth. I have no clue where that is from here. I am lost. My skills are not useful for this setting, and the main thing I know is not going to be invented for another few centuries at the minimum. I was summoned and ended up in the janitor closet, and all I can think of is that this is nothing but a bad nightmare and hope I wake up with a concussion from falling on a sidewalk!”
“As for my height, yes I am short. I am also very heavy for my size, making everything around me feel as if it were made out of foam, I find wood soft and spongy, and meat some of the most tender I have ever had. I work out every morning I have woken up here just to try and maintain my muscle mass, and have had to adapt to a weird walk skip hop method of moving because even the gravity is too light!”
“Gravity?” Thallion perks up. “That word did not translate, something about general pull?”
“Not the time for that, Thallion,” Silvra interjects.
“So yes, I am a little stressed, a little high strung, and a lot suffering from anxiety, worse than what I was having before I ended up here, and I cannot even get meds for it!” I complain, dejectedly, collapsing into the stuffed chair beside the door to the schoolroom.
“It’s not like I felt like I belonged much there, but I at least knew what to expect. It may have been seen as boring, but it was mine. I went to school for it for eighteen years. Here, here everything is new, and overwhelming. I am trying to make things make sense, but history was never my strong point, and again, what I know is next to worthless!”
They all stare at me, finally, Silvra steps forth and offers a shoulder pat, and a light hug. Lena follows suit, and tries to crush me in what could only be described as an attempt of a bear hug.
We stay like that for some time, Thallion looking awkwardly on the scene of the two tall women hugging a literal manchild.
“So aye managed ta comple’te round bi’ bu’te olerances are a’ me skill- oh. Sorry ta interrup’ I’ll leave ‘his here, annnd”
“Come back in Eldrin, Just in time for some formal introductions,” I say, trying to sound professional, while dealing with a throat full of snot and trying not to break down again.
“Oi? Tha voice? Ethan! Ye can’alk now?!”
“Kind of, I fixed the translator, it now works with sound.”
“Sound, eh, Well, le’ me si’ down here and you can ‘alk ta me all bout it.”
“I don’t know. It is pretty complicated, and involves quite a bit of various fields, some quite literally, but not the grain ones,” I state, half joking, enjoying the distraction from what just happened.
“Sounds allo like me prof before I became a smith.”
My eyes bug out, prof? he went to school?
“Aye, me prof in theory phys said stuff abou’ ac’ion a’ a dis’ance and tha’ our en’ire unders’anding of th’world is cons’rained by ‘ime. Also somethin abou’ sys’em hardening and ‘igh frequency swi’ing.
Those concepts sound more like quantum mechanics crossed with a preliminary understanding of magnetism to me, what an odd combination!
“Tell me, what else do you know about magnetism?”
“Magne’wha’ism”
Right, that’s it, definition time. I sit up, choking back emotions, and begin to explain some basics of electricity. At least I can bury my emotions in that for a while.
Lena looks at me with a side eye.
Maybe not that long.
Patreon Because someone asked https://www.patreon.com/CollinBarker

I’m a 25F and I work as a bartender in a massive building that can hold up to 1500 people. There’s this guy (~26M) that likes to come in and demand water from me. Typically, since the building is so big and making waters for everyone who asks for them would mean at least 100 waters a day, I just hand them a cup and politely direct them to the soda machine. My place of work doesn’t really care if I don’t charge for a $5 soda, so I just tell them to get whatever they want for the inconvenience of having to go get it yourself. So anyway this guy has come in a few times and has been so rude and passive aggressive for me handing him a cup. The first time he came in (doesn’t order alcohol), he asked for water and said “what? You’re not gonna fill it for me?!” And I was like ??no and it’s been about 4 times that he’s come in and had this attitude that he’s entitled to ME grabbing him his water and has weirdly argued w me (in a way that almost feels like he’s trying to flirt poorly). Normally, I don’t even mind getting people water as long as they’re chilling at the bar bc it makes sense to me that if you’re sitting down near me, that you want proper service and might later order something. It’s also not abnormal for bars/breweries to have water stations, so I don’t understand why this is such a big deal to him. This last time he came in, he called me lazy and told me he wanted me to do my job and just grab him a water. I grabbed it for him angry, uncomfortable, and frustrated. He had 2 friends w him and in my frustration, I asked if they were 21 and when they said no, I told them they wouldn’t be able to sit at the bar anyway just to get rid of them. I have a feeling he’s gonna come back because he has so many times now that next time he does, I’m just gonna tell him to fuck off bc his aggressiveness and weirdness about it is enough to make me uncomfy, but I’m curious if everyone else thinks I’m being unreasonable. Please be nice tho, I don’t use Reddit a lot and I swear I’ve tried w this guy and rarely refuse service.

Hello Pureasoiaf :) I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on this Hamlet reference in Daenerys IX (AGOT) as I know barely anything about Shakespeare, but I think its a fascinating and very informative choice. It's referring to this part of Hamlets famous "To be or not to be" soliloquy where he's contemplating suicide after being tasked with avenging his murdered dad and really severely not feeling up to all that (emphasis mine):

'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; To sleep, perchance to dream —ay, there's the rub: For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause—there's the respect That makes calamity of so long life.

To give a really butchered translation of these lines as I understand them, Hamlet is saying that death (the "consummation") sounds pretty neat right now, actually. But, using sleep as a metaphor for death, as a Christian he fears "what dreams may come", aka what if he ends up in hell. So he decides not to risk it.
Compare to this, which is almost identical (and as that's one of the most famous lines in the history of literature would definitely have been removed by Martin or his editors if it was in there on accident):

Inside the tent Dany found a cushion, soft silk stuffed with feathers. She clutched it to her breasts as she walked back out to Drogo, to her sun-and-stars. If I look back I am lost. It hurt even to walk, and she wanted to sleep, to sleep and not to dream.

This quote closes out the chapter where, after Rhaego's death, Drogo's catatonia and the collapse of the Khalasar, Dany promises to avenge Eroeh, and basically decides that it's her job fix the whole world, seeing as nobody else is going to bloody do it. But then she finds she's unable to revive Drogo using sex, aka the sole power she has been alloted, due to her position as "wife", (i.e. she is confronted with her total powerlessness), and any hope for accomplishing her promise dies with Drogo.
We're given startlingly (and skillfully) very little direct information about her state of mind during and after this, despite it being her POV, and rely mostly on surrounding context: all of those things are horrifying, but also later she gets dragons. But, particularly in light of her likening walking into the fire to an act of consummation itself ("This is a wedding, too, she thought." - Daenerys X, AGOT) I think it's worth remembering that Hamlet stuff, because in that soliloquy the "consummation devoutly to be wish'd" is not marriage, but suicide. And Dany essentially sacrifices who she was, her personhood, to take on the role of Mother of Dragons etc etc. And, in keeping with other self-sacrifices in the books, it does work, when prior to her stream of consciousness in front of the fire she had absolutely no idea how to make dragons. And also, just for fun, brings the dragons birth a lot more in line with other magical occurrences in the books too, as it's self sacrifice that seems to be the key ingredient.
My two cents anyway. I'd love to hear what others think, especially if you're more familiar with Hamlet. Why do you think that "to sleep, to sleep and not to dream" line was used? What meaning is it supposed to convey, and does it affect how you see Dany's journey, or her place in the wider story? Are there any other Hamlet references that you've noticed? Is there anything else in that soliloquy, or the rest of the play, that you think may come up in the future?

I (35F) need help with figuring out if I’m the issue. My boyfriend (42M) and I have been together for 2 years and live together. At the beginning of our relationship I of course felt amazing, sexy, hott, so wanted by him. We would fool around and attempt to have sex but he would always go “soft” on me. I’ve never had this issue with anyone I’ve been intimate with. At first he told be because he has been single for so long he’s “a little rusty” and asked for me to be patient with him. I completely understand and was so willing to do that. I actually really loved it because we were building our connection not based on sex but who we were as a couple. So fast forward and months go by and I noticed there wasn’t even attempts to be intimate. When I would bring it up it would always seem to turn into a fight and I was to blame and the reason for us not having sex. Months keep rolling by and I would do everything to fix whatever the “problem” I was causing. I was getting so sexually frustrated and my self esteem was really taking a hit. A year goes by and we decide to move in together and about 2 months of living together I find this massive amount of porn. Multiple thumb drives full. With the thumb drives I was able to see the dates and even times when the videos were downloaded. Once I confronted him about it, it’s been a ME problem. He claims all guys have this much and watch as much as he does. He tells me it’s just a tool and it means nothing. I’ve even tried sending him pictures of me naked and he tucks them away in the hidden folder. He watches videos and gets pictures of other women (like bloggers or actresses) and uses that. Never does he use my photos again claiming the porn and whatnot is separate from me. Now my self esteem has taken a huge huge hit. He’s lied a bunch to me about it and now is where he sneaks off and I sit in another room knowing what’s going on and he could clearly care less.
The catch with this is he really is a very kind person and does outside of this treat me exactly how I’ve ever wanted to be treated. I was in a crazy abusive marriage that I got out of years ago. But it’s like he become two different people. We never have sex and in the two years of being together, I’ve not once made him orgasm. It’s not because I suck, because he can’t stay hard and then quits after I get off. But even those moments is less than 10. He has now been telling me that I have no self esteem anymore and that I’m not confident. He is so focused on “getting me better” than even addressing his issue. I’m so so frustrated I want to cry because I feel like I’m crazy but I know I’m not.
Looking basically for advice on what I should do here and/or if anyone else experienced anything like this. Thanks guys

Sorry for the rant, I just had to write this down as I am still feeling kinda depressed because of this interaction.
I just literally made us dinner, the entire dinner she complained about the taste, told me I am a bad cook, threw the entire meal in the sink and after I made us both some tea she asked me "why didn't you hug me today, you have being rude to me the entire day" (note that I just got back from work like 40 min before that) I told her that I literally did nothing wrong to her and she just started to complain about my speech tone and how rude it was. I was emotionally deflated and told her "okay." I got her tea and was about to leave and she actually had the audacity to ask me "where are you going? Are you not going to seat with me?" I got upset and told her "no, I won't, you are not pleasant to be around right now" She literally said to me "you can't blackmail me like that" I just said to her "sorry, you can't act like that and expect me to want to be near you right now" And she finally shut up.
I just can't with her sometimes, she always tries and excuse this mean comments as "making me a better person" but it's just feels like bullying. No one is forcing her to eat my meals, no one is forcing her to be nice to me, but to go out of her way to put the blame of the bad vibe in the house because "I am rude" just feels iffy.
Btw, anyone experienced a situation where you asked your mom if she want something (in my case, I made popcorn and asked her if she want some) and she said "no I want to eat dinner first", fair enough, I make popcorn, take it to my room and she asks me loudly, "where's my popcorn?". I told her I heard her say no, and she argued with me that she said yes and teased me that my hearing may not be that great.
Again, so sorry for the word dump, I just feel depressed I can't even relax at home while she makes these comments 🙁

I really do appreciate that each community has separate subreddits as safer spaces, but I really wish that there also was an inclusive space that brought together all types of masculine gender variant women in general to talk casually about our daily life experiences.
Our group started as a private group chat room that grew too big that now we are also building our own subreddit that is called GalsAndPals .
Our subreddit is an inclusive safe space for everything centered on ADULT gender variant people that somehow identify as women who are masculine in a way or another.
That means that we are a group for top OR dominant OR gentlewomanly OR girlboss OR tomboyish OR androgynous OR futchy OR butchy OR ursine OR crossdressing OR genderfluid OR genderqueer woman-ish adult people.
We do have some basic respect safety guidelines to sustain the health of our group as an inclusive safe space free of judgement and harm.
We are inclusive of transfeminine, transandrogynous, transmasculine, detrans, retrans, genderfluid, and genderqueer woman-ish adult people.
Our subreddit is currently temporarily totally private for being in an experimental early development stage until becoming more public after when some things are figured out.
If you may be feeling interested in joining our group, just drop a comment here below or send a moderator mail message to have access to our subreddit.
I also support if anyone else wants to create another group.

Not technically a AITAH, but Ik people check this sub more and I’m desperate for advice
I(18f) have been hearing my family gush about a cruise they are planning on taking in late 2025. By the cruise date, I will be about a month or two in to my sophomore year of college. I don’t start my freshman year until the fall, so I have no clue what college will be like. I am not one to skip assignments and rack up absences. I like to keep my solid A-B honor roll and keep absences for emergencies. The cruise will take place during the week, and I don’t know the logistics behind keeping up with school and if my presence will be mandatory. I have a very large (over half the price) scholarship that I cannot afford to loose. And maybe a week won’t get it taken from me, but it also means I have to leave my boyfriend behind and be a third wheel the whole time.
On the trip will be my parents (60m) and (53f) and my sisters and their husbands (25 and 35 f) (27 and 40 m) and maybe even their babies since both my sisters kids are under the age of 3. I would be staying in my parents suite, and would be stuck either third wheeling with a couple or by myself the entire trip. My boyfriend (20m) isn’t allowed to come because we are not yet married and my parents do not want to pay for someone they are convinced “won’t stick around”. I won’t even go into that issue between me and them, but I don’t want to do any more long distance with him, even if it’s just a week. And it doesn’t seem fair I am the ONLY one who wouldn’t have someone to hang out with the whole trip like they do.
My family can make rude jokes and comments, and I can’t tell anymore if we are all just mean to each other, or if I’m the only one without thick skin. Either way, I’m sick of it and I don’t want to deal with it anymore. I should also mention I’m not sure I was even invited in the first place, since my (25) sister is planning it, and she knew I’d be in school. So I think it was agreed by all of them I couldn’t go because id be in college. But when I expressed that it made me upset that I wasn’t even considered, they back tracked and are now trying to “accommodate” me which feels more like covering up their original plan and just putting me everywhere as an afterthought.
I’ve already shared these feelings with my boyfriend, and he agrees that it won’t be fun just third wheeling everyone and being on vacation away from each other. We both agree that if we want to take a vacation like this together in the future, then we will do that. However, I still feel bad. I can’t tell why, maybe it’s because I don’t like having to (what feels like) choose between family and school and my boyfriend. Or maybe I’m just uncomfortable being stuck in a room with my parents and getting no privacy. Or maybe it’s because I’m excluding MY partner when he is who I’d have the most fun with on vacation.
Idk, someone please help me make a decision

I really do appreciate that each community has separate subreddits as safer spaces, but I really wish that there also was an inclusive space that brought together all types of masculine gender variant women in general to talk casually about our daily life experiences.
Our group started as a private group chat room that grew too big that now we are also building our own subreddit that is called GalsAndPals .
Our subreddit is an inclusive safe space for everything centered on ADULT gender variant people that somehow identify as women who are masculine in a way or another.
That means that we are a group for top OR dominant OR gentlewomanly OR girlboss OR tomboyish OR androgynous OR futchy OR butchy OR ursine OR crossdressing OR genderfluid OR genderqueer woman-ish adult people.
We do have some basic respect safety guidelines to sustain the health of our group as an inclusive safe space free of judgement and harm.
We are inclusive of transfeminine, transandrogynous, transmasculine, detrans, retrans, genderfluid, and genderqueer woman-ish adult people.
Our subreddit is currently temporarily totally private for being in an experimental early development stage until becoming more public after when some things are figured out.
If you may be feeling interested in joining our group, just drop a comment here below or send a moderator mail message to have access to our subreddit.
I also support if anyone else wants to create another group.

I really do appreciate that each community has separate subreddits as safer spaces, but I really wish that there also was an inclusive space that brought together all types of masculine gender variant women in general to talk casually about our daily life experiences.
Our group started as a private group chat room that grew too big that now we are also building our own subreddit that is called GalsAndPals .
Our subreddit is an inclusive safe space for everything centered on ADULT gender variant people that somehow identify as women who are masculine in a way or another.
That means that we are a group for top OR dominant OR gentlewomanly OR girlboss OR tomboyish OR androgynous OR futchy OR butchy OR ursine OR crossdressing OR genderfluid OR genderqueer woman-ish adult people.
We do have some basic respect safety guidelines to sustain the health of our group as an inclusive safe space free of judgement and harm.
We are inclusive of transfeminine, transandrogynous, transmasculine, detrans, retrans, genderfluid, and genderqueer woman-ish adult people.
Our subreddit is currently temporarily totally private for being in an experimental early development stage until becoming more public after when some things are figured out.
If you may be feeling interested in joining our group, just drop a comment here below or send a moderator mail message to have access to our subreddit.
I also support if anyone else wants to create another group.

This may be specific to my warehouse and may be more of a vent. I’m new to the state…and I’m really not trying to victimize myself or race-bait….
With that said, I’ve noticed an overwhelming number of PA’s & AM’s happen to be white…and they tend to give the best stations and only joke around with each other.
There’s one AM in specific, she is so rude and you can tell by the way she looks at you like “ew what do you want” but with all the white coworkers she’s smiling super friendly. We have a large Nepal and Asian population and she gives them the same treatment.
It just sucks because I’ve noticed we get the worst stations (in pac) and just in general it’s hard not to notice it. I’m new to the state of Colorado and originally from California, I guess I’m just not use to this treatment.
I’m also aware there isn’t anything I can do, if I go to HR there isn’t concrete evidence or she can just say it’s a “coincidence”….and these AM’s & PA’s aren’t going around saying racist slurs….but again the “whites only club” is very evident.
Maybe I’m just venting on here because I’m upset and don’t mean to offend any white people, I’m aware not all are the same. I’m also aware Colorado natives are generally conservative….
I just wondering if any other minorities, have experienced this subtle racism. I just want to know I’m not alone in my frustration of getting the worst stations, no friendly treatment, no smile….honestly being from California this is a really gross feeling to me. 😭