Jellybean started getting really weird. He has been asking me specifically for toenails, I don’t get what his deal is. When I ask him what changed, he said: “Mind your business freak.” I dont think that is a very appropriate thing to say to your client. I still think about the pale woman a lot, which is is kind of weird, she’s not even hot. Okay maybe in like a next door neighbour old lady kind of hot, but not really. We really need to have more women in the labyrinth. I’m tired of getting it on with hobgoblins, I’m pretty weird itch on my crotch now. Anyone know a healer I can see for this? I dont have much blood to give, Jellybean might as well be a vampire, asshole.
Thank you

We sit down and try to talk it out I’m livid now. I’m on the verge of just shutting it all down and going emotionless again. She says sorry.. about my mother and everything then starts blaming me! Holy fucking shit I’m providing almost all the finances I’m doing equal shares of laundry dishes and folding except for the last GODDAMN WEEK I’ve been putting atleast one kid to bed getting the puppy calmed down and still having the audacity to workout maintain the lawn and work 9-13 hour days. I called her out and it was cold. I’m not proud but it was needed.
She tried to defend her actions at this point I’m done and just walk out. I need a moment. She gets upset and everyone decides they need to go north to a college down to shop. I’m alone wiring electrical and putting together the toddlers bed and retapping parts of the wall… I haven’t felt this much self loathing in years. I was just sitting there working which was the only thing keeping me away from razors again. I wanted to cry but I can’t anymore. No release could be found that wasn’t self destructive.
They all come back like nothing ever happened. At this point I’ve over excreted what little energy I had. My skin was cold and clammy but my body was sweating profusely. My face was pale and I was struggling to breathe. Now she says I should be resting and she has no idea why I’m pushing so hard?! Am I being fucking gaslit?! This was all your idea this was your demand?!
Flash forward an hour my puppy was outside for about 30 minutes and it’s hot so I try to get her in. She refuses which isn’t uncommon but she’s hiding under the deck.
I get her out and in and make sure she’s drinking water we get down stairs and I’m about to feed her and she fucking pees on the carpet. It’s tinged with blood. Oh fuck no not now, well let the wife know and she knows it’s just like when she first arrived from Iraq. Got a UTI again, so I have to now rearrange all the shit from the projects in the garage get the car seats out and her crate in the truck pushing way past what my body wanted or needed. Yeeted an energy drink. Which was also a mistake.
Then wife goes “you look like your about to pass out I’ll do it for you, I’ll drive her the hour to the vets” cause no where is open on a Saturday except an hour away. No fuck that I just pushed myself as fucking hard for you and got the puppy I’m in it now. Fuck whatever happens.
Drive down to big city, talked to mom entire trip and forced her to tell me what wife said about me. Same shit like always, her and MIL shit on me for everything. barely make it cause I’m dying inside looks like a ghost staring at me in the mirror. Fuck who cares honesty. 5 hours there 1000$ later got meds for her and head home…

The wiry black tree stood out that snowy January morning like an abysmal blot. Devoid of leaves to indicate life, it managed to stain the cloudy white sky with its presence. It looked down on me as I filled my bright red percolator with grounds and water, a dark always in my peripheral, though I rarely looked directly at it. Its shadowy tendrils followed me for the whole day, through the long rows of dispassionate wood tables and cold white plastic chairs, the cramps in my forearm when I wrote too quickly, and teachers calling out time for students. As soon as another student looked down on their paper, or a teacher turned away, the shadows advanced, licking my face, drowning out my surroundings. The voices of the teachers, the sight of the paper under my pencil, the pain of the hangnails and ripped cuticles on my finger—all faded away. By the time exams had finished, I had been lulled into a haze, a stupor that lured me into deceitful sleep.

Your reflection refracts a million times in between the mirror’s cracks, each piece of glass portraying some dream of you, or, maybe, some memory. Two candles light up the room, one red and one white. Each conveys different light, and each flicker illuminates our skin uniquely. I look at you in the mirror’s shards, each contour of your face accentuated slightly differently. More white light there and shifting shadows hitting at new angles. The red and white candlelight dances on you, caressing your painted white face and red lips a little bit differently in each image. I open my lips to speak. “Do you realize I love the way you look me in my eyes?” As I turn to look at you, I see your eyes are black and your body is rigid. I feel myself falling, slipping away from you. I rush to kiss you before you disappear, but your face falls apart as our lips meet; your skin sloughs and flakes off, and your eyes are still black, like two drops of ink in water, and I can’t hold all of you together. My head jerks out of water. Bright rose petals are scattered on its surface, and dim candles lit on white marble surround me. It seems like I’m in a bathtub. I wipe my face, but warm, thick liquid covers my arms, and I look down to see partially coagulated blood on my hands. It disperses when I rub it off, but as more blood falls, I realize that it’s dripping from my neck. My throat’s cut; raw and filled with some rough, frayed substance. The sharp, smoky smell of sage wafts up to me. Blood from my throat and hands spreads in the bath, and after just moments, all of the water in the bath is tinted red. I move closer to inspect the candles, and I realize that they’re part of a shrine. At its center is a mask; covered in black and white paint, with light peering through its eye and mouth holes. When I reach to examine it, I feel a sharp burning on my back. A candle has melted onto me. I try to wipe it off, but it burns my hand when I touch it. Another candle melts, and another, and another. Red and white wax fills the tub, steaming as the hot wax meets the cool, rose-colored water. At first, the water cools it, but as more pours into the tub, the water begins to heat. I snap up, but sharp, thin claws pull me down. Four emaciated figures are dragging me further down into the boiling water. I open my eyes underwater, and for a brief moment, before the sizzling water sears my eyes closed, I’m able to make out a face—black hair and pale skin, with red cuts all over. I flail and resist, and eventually, I gasp, but as I try to breathe in, boiling water fills my throat and I die. Dancers whirl across the room, encircling the center, rotating this way and the other. My friend tells me I should ask you to dance, but I brush it off. It’s not worth it; I was never much of a dancer. So I just sit there and watch as you and your friends talk, laugh, dance, sing and take pictures. When I’m around you, I see myself through you. Each time you laugh, I want to laugh, and when you smile, I can’t hold mine back. I find myself picking petals from roses when I’m around you too long. We’re so beautiful; your new white dress, and my teary red eyes. I look at you and whisper. “Let's touch the sky, I’ma, I’ma change your life”. For an instant, I see you looking back. You pause, no longer talking to your friends, like we’re frozen together as the crowd buzzes around us. Your eyes get big and your mouth opens like you’re about to say something. Then you turn away, and the crowd consumes you and leaves me behind, and finally, I wake up in a cold sweat. The shadows in the room lengthened, wrapping themselves around me, smothering me and my deferred hopes and indiscretion. The moonlight filled the room, and the trees stared at me, with harsh branch faces chastising me, and I pulled the blanket around me, closer and closer, enveloping as much as it could. For a moment, the whole world turned red and white—red like my face as heat rose from my throat to right behind my cheekbones and eyes, pushing itself higher and higher, threatening to burst out of my skull, and white like the cloudy winter tones that had characterized the sky for weeks at this point. 

After that, everything faded to gray. My red cheeks cooled, and my eyes became sullen, and the white snow that my window peered onto was dirty and impure. I remember when you told me that at the beginning of the book, he’s gray, and then he’s colorful, and then, at the end of the book, he’s gray again. Sometimes you sound like my biographer. But there’s one thing you missed. We never stopped seeing the color, it just became safer for us to hide from the oversaturated reds and whites that burn our eyes, the sounds that sound too loud, and the pretty girls with pale skin and black hair who only kiss us in our nightmares. I stay up the rest of the night with my lights on to beat back any shadowy tendrils that come my way, biting my fingertips and white cuticles until they’re red, bleeding and raw, until I return to my playlist, ready to walk into school tomorrow and pretend I’m alive.

Mark was eager to get laid. But even the photoshopped pictures of his muscles couldn’t attract anyone on MatchIt. He was beginning to think he was hopelessly ugly when he finally saw the bright colored Match! pop up across his phone screen.
She was beautiful. Angela was her name. She appeared Chinese. His heart started pounding as he typed the first opening line. Within a minute or two she responded back. The conversation they had was a good one. Mark had never had a conversation like this. Eventually when the sun started to set, she gave him her address.
The next day Mark drove in his parents' car down to the house. He had waited for this his whole life. He was little worried his photoshopping might be apparent when he got there but he thought she was nice enough to forgive that.
When he arrived, he saw the small, isolated house on the hill. Just like the ones from her pictures. He started walking up to house with his heart pounding wondering what he would say. He can’t just say anything he…
A sudden beep of a car nearly scared the shit out of him. Mark turned around and saw a car pulling into the driveway of the house. The car stopped. He recognized the car from her pictures. Who got out of the car though was a tall young pale man with dark hair. He lurched forward and walked towards Mark looking him up and down. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, the man said, “Let me guess. Angela cheating again.”
Mark suddenly felt a wave of terror go through him. This guy was going to beat the crap out of him. He should know that all the hot girls on MatchIt were cheating and now her boyfriend was probably going to shoot him and…
“It is okay. I’ll talk to her. You probably didn’t suspect anything like the last two,” the man said.
Mark was shocked. He managed to squeak out a “I’m so sorry” and rushed to his car and drove off.
“Angela probably going to kill me,” the man said to himself as he walked into the house on hill.
When he opened the door, he saw Angela surfing on her phone.
“So did you get dinner?” She said it coldly.
“No. There wasn’t enough meat. Though I’m sure Samuel here will last us another week,” he replied with his eyes looking towards the fridge.

You guys know what an alpine coaster is? They are like a small roller coaster you find in the mountains. They are also called summer toboggans or mountain coasters and I think there’s some long German compound word they are called in parts of Europe. They are like a roller coaster, but with much smaller one or two person sleds you just sit on instead of multi-person cars you ride in, and instead of being built with like a scaffolding or a framework the tracks are just on the ground, using the elevation of the mountain. Basically it’s a coaster track on the side of a mountain where you ride a sled down.
They are pretty fun. Or at least I used to think so. They are more “personal” than roller coasters and although you get nowhere near the speed on them that you do on a good traditional roller coaster and they can’t do corkscrews or loops or anything like that the openness and simplicity of the ride gives an impression of a much greater speed. You’re just sitting there with nothing but a little plastic sled and the track between you and the ground as it goes zooming by. It’s like the difference between how fast a go-cart feels compared to how fast a sports car feels. You know the sports car goes faster but the open, simpleness of a go-cart feels a different kind of fast. There’s plenty of POV Youtube videos if you want to get the basic idea of what they are.
I used to love alpine coasters. Used to.
My family used to go to Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge and up and down the Smokey Mountains for vacations when I was a kid and they are common in that area and I’d always rode them every chance I got.
But as with so many things after I grew up and went to college they just became part of my childhood that slipped away. They aren’t exactly common once you get away from the mountains.
Until one cool spring afternoon in 2004. I was in my final year at college and I was driving back to campus in Tennessee after a short visit to my folks in North Carolina. It was only like a 4 or 5 hour drive via the most efficient route and I had no need to be back at campus early so instead of taking the freeway all the way I got off and took part of my trip through the mountains. The scenery was nicer and I admit I liked pushing my Camaro just a little faster than I should through the twisty mountain roads.
Just after lunchtime happened upon one of those little by-the-highway tourist towns deep somewhere in the Smoky Mountains near the Carolina/Tennessee border. Nothing fancy, a gas station/truck stop, a diner, a couple of places selling tourist merch nestled deep in the mountains. I pulled into the gas station. My tank was getting low and I needed to stretch my legs, maybe grab something to eat. It was still early and I only had another couple of hours. I could kill an hour or so and still make it back to campus at a decent hour.
I pulled into the gas station and was filling my tank when I happened to glance across the road and… well I’ll be damned. There it was. “The Blue Ridge Alpine Coaster.” Nestled on the side of the mountain was a building, a mockup of a red barn, where a single railed track that led up into the mountains, where it soon got lost in the greenery. Wooden hand painted standees of cartoon character bears dressed in stereotypical “Hillbilly” getup stood around, some of them holding signs showing the ride hours and ticket costs and other info. I had to admit, as silly as it was, it made me smile.I finished pumping my gas and, well, nostalgia is a helluva thing. I decided then and there I could waste a little time riding an Alpine Coaster again after all these years before getting back on the road.
I parked my car in a corner of the truck stop's parking lot, put my phone in the center console, this being the days before smart phones when people didn’t keep their phones with them 24/7 and I didn’t want my old Nokia brick phone to fall out during the ride, locked my car and walked across the mountain highway to the Alpine Coaster building.
Getting closer, the place was less inviting. The half hearted attempt at a whimsical faux-Americana kitsch was far less effective when it brushed up against the actual decaying, run down wooden building. Hell calling it a building was generous. It was a wood frame holding up a long roof that covered the area where you got on the sleds. The wood boards creaked under my footsteps.
The only real enclosed structure was a shack that held, what I assumed, was a ticket booth. A door on the side had both a single occupancy bathroom with an out of order sign on it. An old Pepsi machine buzzed and glowed next to it.
Still the place looked alive. Ahead of me a bored looking attendant was helping a mother and her young son into one of the sleds while in a bored monotone repeating the safety brief. A few people were waiting in line at the ticket booth. Up in the mountains the playful shouts of people on the ride echoed down. Fond memories of my own childhood rides flooded my mind.10 minutes and 15 dollars later I was settling into the hard plastic seat of a bright red sled sat atop a simple aluminum rail.
I couldn’t help but grin as the sled slowly climbed the track up the mountains, making click-clack ratcheting sounds that hit my nostalgia centers hard. I felt good. The air was cool and crisp and smelled of pine.Higher and higher in the mountains we went. I don’t know if this is my mind trying to make sense of it after the fact but when I remember these moments, the last good moments, I sometimes think I remember a very slight, very subtle pit of fear in my stomach. I honestly don’t know if I felt it at the time or not or it’s just how my mind tries to make sense of it looking back at.
But either way mostly I was enjoying myself. I smiled. I was a kid again. I could hear riders in front of me let out that initial yell of terrified glee you get at the first drop of any good ride.
It peaked. I glanced around. I could see for miles, rolling hills and mountains. I the sled tipped over and zoomed down the mountain and I let out the same happy yell I heard from the other passengers.The ride zoomed down the mountain, catching speed. The mountain forest floor zoomed past, only a few feet under me. Trees zoomed past. I gave out a happy whoop as the ride banked hard around a curve and then looped back under itself.Another dip, another curve. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the G-forces pulling me every which way.
There was no one exact single moment where things started to go “wrong.” The ride kept going. And going. At this point the first creeping thought entered my head.
The ride… was still going.
It just started to hit me… this ride was going on for a really long time. I had taken a dozen rides on various coasters of this type before that day and they topped out at about 5 minutes or so, and that was the long ones. Longer than a traditional roller coaster but not that long. This one had been going on for what felt like 10, maybe even 15 minutes.
I looked back over my shoulder and could only see trees, moving too fast to really get a bearing on where I was at in relation to anything.
I wasn't exactly really worried yet. Okay so I had found a particularly long alpine coaster. At the time I wasn’t 100% wasn't sure they didn’t exist or anything like that. I was a little… unnerved but nothing was happening that was impossible. Yet.
I was trying to talk myself back into just enjoying the ride and stop overthinking it, and halfway succeeded, when out of nowhere I suddenly banked hard, the track jutting out almost over a sheer cliffside. I gripped the sled more tightly as I was whipped around. The ride then dipped hard and picked up speed, barreling down the side of the mountain.
I was pushed back against the seat by the force of the drop. Jesus I didn’t remember them being this rough. I was feeling slightly nauseous. And where had this elevation drop come from I wondered? I was still in the foothills and I didn’t remember seeing anything but gentle rolling hills and light drops from looking at the ride’s route earlier. How the ride had managed such a long, steep drop in this area I didn’t know. . For the first time I hoped that the ride would be over soon. I had no idea then how much I would want that same hope to be true so much more as time went on.
With a whiplash motion I was whipped forward and then back as the ride leveled out on flat ground again, but by this point I was going fast, too fast. My neck hurt from the mild whiplash and I felt sour in my throat and for a moment the contents of my stomach threatened to come back up. For the first, but hardly the last time the ride felt unsafe. Alpine Coasters are tame affairs, much slower and gentler than full on roller coasters but this thing was throwing me around like no thrill ride I had ever been on.
I looked around. I mean I wasn’t that deep into the woods. I should have been able to see a glimpse of something; the highway, the gas station, the tourist shops, the Alpine Coaster office, something, anything. But nothing. Just trees.
I forced back some panic for the first time. I closed my eyes and counted to ten. The ride zoomed along. I counted to 60. I counted to 60 again. And again. Okay this was getting uncomfortably harder and harder to explain.
Suddenly I noticed that up ahead the track seemed to just end, for one brief, terrible moment I thought the track just ended but I was wrong. Almost without warning the track dipped in an almost vertical drop. I almost screamed as I plummeted for 20, maybe 30 seconds before flattening out again.
By this point the voice in my head that was telling me something was wrong was louder and I could no longer tell myself it was wrong. This ride could not have been this long. I tried to make sense of it, wondering if somehow I had gotten diverted onto some kind of maintenance track or, hell for one brief irrational moment even entertaining the idea that I had wound up on an actual train track somehow. But that was absurd. The rail below me was not a train track, it was still just the simple, aluminum rail of an alpine coaster and there had been no diversions or junctions in the track. I was still on the ride, as insane as that was starting to feel. Had the ride somehow looped? Again after having the thought I immediately dismissed it as crazy. There’s no way I could have missed the ride building where I got on. And what kind of ride loops over and over?
The sled zoomed through the forest, oddly never seeming to lose speed despite the relatively flat grade of the track. I cursed myself for leaving my phone in the car and not wearing a watch. I don’t know exactly how long I had been on the ride at that point but it felt like I had been on the ride for a half hour, maybe more. But time is a funny thing when you’re in a situation you’ve never been in. Could have been more, could have been less, at that point.
My pride finally failed me. I started to scream for help. I screamed out that the ride was broken, to stop it, that I needed help. I did that for about ten minutes or so I think. The ride kept going. Mostly flat, level track with occasional mild dips and turns. But the simple length of the ride grew more and more unnerving and unexplainable.
I thought about just bailing out. But the ride, impossibly, was still not slowing down and chunks of mountain rock and thick tree trunks were all around me. Bailing out without risking smashing into a rock or a tree seemed impossible.
The ride kept going.
Up ahead the forest was clearing out some, I could see the forest brightening, more sunlight making it through the canopy.
I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.
The trees stopped and I had just enough time to take in a flat, open area of rock maybe 40, 50 yards at most before another sheer cliff. The tracks twisted and turned and then shot straight down. But that wasn’t the worst of it. For a moment, a very short moment, I had a clear view for miles and the landscape was, to be blunt, totally impossible. Any possibility that I had just stumbled on some incredibly long ride was blasted out of my head. Barren, volcanic looking rock stretched for miles. Jagged, black rocky outcroppings as far as the eye could see. I was in the goddamn Smoky Mountains. They don’t look like that.
I had a few moments for the terror of that view to settle in before the cart plunged into another horrifying drop. I gripped the handles of the cheap plastic sled until my knuckles turned white. The drop felt completely vertical, like I was falling at terminal velocity. I screamed. My stomach dropped and turned. I imagined the sled coming away from the track and me just plummeting screaming to my death on the rocks below. But somehow the ride still functioned. I closed my eyes tightly and just waited for whatever was going to happen. Eventually after several what felt like a full minute of steep plunging the track again leveled out, and I opened my eyes to see myself moving at breakneck speed over that black, rocky landscape.
Now that I was moving on a more or less flat horizontal track again I took a few deep breaths. I looked over the edge of the track. Nothing but that black, jagged rock, almost looking like obsidian, zooming past. I had no idea how fast the sled was moving now. Fast. Faster than a gravity powered sled should be moving. And the track was higher off the ground now. Alpine slides usually stick pretty close to the ground, but I was 20 feet or so in the air, the track suspended in the air, a simple metal tube tower like a power pylon every few yards.
Without any immediate threat and the sled moving fast but steadily and level I was able to think about my situation again, for all the good that did me. Ahead of me the track just continued to the horizon, nothing but the same rocky landscape as far as I could see. I craned my neck to look back over my shoulder and looked back behind me and it looked the same. Even the mountains were but distant specs on the horizon behind me.
This was insane. There’s not a giant seemingly endless field of black jagged rock in the goddamn Smoky Mountains. There’s no cliff faces tall and steep enough for a multi-minute vertical drop. And alpine coasters were small affairs, not major engineering projects that span miles with pylons and vertical tracks. It made no sense.
Sadly it wasn’t going to start making any more sense anytime soon.
The ride kept going.
I was on this rocky landscape for several hours. I feel comfortable saying this because I could actually notice the sun getting lower in the sky. And the sled wasn’t slowing down despite the grade of the track being flat. I was getting cramped from sitting and stretched my legs and twisted my back as best I could. Didn’t do much help. My eyes were starting to get irritated from the constant wind in them. Worst of all it was starting to get chilly. I only had on a light jacket, a windbreaker, just something to keep the breeze off me, no real insulation. I was cold, my joints were stiff, I was hungry and thirsty. My eyes watered and my throat was so dry it was sore.
But none of that was as bad as just how little sense this all made. There’s nothing like this place anywhere near the Smoky Mountains. This was like some volcanic rock landscape. The more I thought about it the less sense it made.
The ride kept going.
My mind didn’t even try to process this. Whatever I was experiencing simply couldn’t be possible. I was crazy. I was dreaming. The CIA had kidnapped me and dosed me with some new version of LSD and I was in a straightjacket in a padded room at Area 51.
The sled kept zooming along as the sky turned to dusk. Soon the bridge disappeared from my view and I continued on along the endless, rocky, featureless landscape.
I sat back against the sled, mentally and physically numb. I was exhausted. I was thirsty. I was cramping up. I was hungry. I had to pee. I held it for as long as I could, then had no choice but just wet myself. I cried until I had no more tears left. Then I just sat there.
The ride kept going.
By the time the sun dipped below the horizon my throat felt like sandpaper. I dug around in my jacket pockets hoping to find a stick of gum or piece of candy. Nothing. I checked again, having nothing else to do. Under a crumpled store receipt in the inner pocket of my jacket was a single old, forgotten cough drop. I unwrapped it from the paper and popped it in my mouth. Saliva flooded back into my mouth and I was overwhelmed by the methanol and medicine taste. It was something at least, although I knew it would be a brief and temporary fix at best.
I felt my eyes get heavy. It was getting colder. That mountain cold. That deep cold the mountains have even into the early spring when the sun goes down. That kind that just pulls the heat right out of you. I shivered. A terrible, horrible certainty came to me. I would ride until I passed out from exhaustion or the hypothermia set in. My body would tumble off the sled to fall and skip across the rocky ground like a stone skipping across a lake, my bones breaking as I tumbled until my body finally came to a stop. If I was lucky I would be killed and not have to lie for days, broken and bruised, on the ground until death took me.
The ride kept going. The ride kept going. The fucking ride kept going.
“Fuck you” I said to the ride, my voice a horse whisper. I pulled my jacket closer around me, for all the good it did. The cold wind was slowly but surely pulling my body heat away. My shivering got worse, crossing the line from a simple normal shiver into those deep, almost violent full body ones.. I wasn’t anything you could call an experienced outdoorsman, but I knew enough to know that wasn’t a good sign.
It was getting dark. There was a full moon at least so I wasn’t totally in the dark.
About then I noticed something. The landscape, what little I could see in the fading light, was changing. It was smoothing out, becoming less rocky and craggy. Up ahead an odd, shimmering light was starting to appear on the ground.
I was over it before I even realized what it was. The tracks were going over a smooth surface.
Water. It was a lake. The odd lights I had seen were the moon, reflected in ripples on the lake.
Within minutes I was out of the view of the land. After the nearly endless rocky landscape and everything else I had seen, it scared me how little I was shocked. I didn’t like how mentally numb I was getting. I leaned over. There was enough moonlight to see the water, 15 or 20 feet below the track. The pylons holding up the track went into the water, the light wasn’t good enough to even make a guess at how far they went down or how deep the water was.I leaned back in the sled. My eyes were red and bloodshot from the constant wind. I closed them. This was a mistake.I jerked awake. I don’t know if I dozed off for a split second or an hour. My weight had shifted and I caught myself as my center of gravity was in danger of sending me off the sled and into the water.
I screamed in anger. A deep primal scream. I hurt so bad. My joints felt like they were full of glass. My limbs were full of pins and needles. I glanced over at the water. For the first time on the very edges of my brain a tiny voice started to speak up, telling me that I could be all over if I just jumped. I shut the voice up, but it scared me still.
I sat there as the ride went on. It felt like hours. Eventually the lake ended in a rocky shore line. The damned ride. There was no safe place to bail out. If the ride slowed down, it was high in the air, if it moved toward the ground it sped up. Sharp rocks, big trees, nothing you could safely bail out into.
I kept having to force myself awake. I kept dozing off. Once I felt myself falling asleep and drove a vicious uppercut into my own nose to stave it off.
I seriously started to think about how much longer I could hang on. The voice came back again. This time I didn’t shut it up. I wasn’t admitting it to myself yet, but I was starting to think about the best way to land that would end it quickly if I needed to.
Something was ahead. The track seemed to dip into the ground. I was too tired, too beaten to even get scared. I was just resigned to whatever happened at this point.
With little warning the track took my sled into a tunnel in the ground. Everything went completely pitch black. After several moments even the dim moonlight was gone.
This was the worst part. The creepy forest, the immense rocky landscape, the eerie lake… those were bad. But this was just nothing. Nothing to look at, nothing to hear, nothing for reference or sense of where I was going. The walls of the tunnel felt like they were inches from me in every direction. The air felt thick, like there wasn’t enough oxygen.
With every moment I was in that tunnel I lost a little more hope. After a long, long time I made a decision. When I got out of this tunnel, I would jump. I didn’t care anymore. Hopefully there would be a spot where I could be certain the fall would instantly kill me. I was done. The ride had beaten me. I sat there, waiting for a chance to end this on my terms. That was all I had left.
Eventually up ahead, a tiny speck of light appeared. I gathered my strength, ready to end it. I sat up, getting my legs under me so I could jump as soon as we were clear. The sled burst out of the tunnel. The dim light of the full moon was enough to be momentarily blinding after the pitch black of the tunnel.. I gave my eyes a moment to adjust.
I was back in a normal looking Appalachian forest. Rolling hills, green trees. The air smelled of pine again. I heard an owl hoot off somewhere.
Slowly I lowered myself back into a setting position, in shock. At first I refused to believe it but the ride was slowing down. I held still, making sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me, but no, the cheap plastic sled that had been my world for what felt like an eternity was slowing down.
Up ahead, a structure was visible, peeking out from among the trees in the dim lighting as the sled moved down the track.
It was the Alpine Slide building. The crappy fake red barn where I had boarded this cursed ride so long ago. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, sure it was either my mind or the cursed ride playing tricks with me. But the building stayed there.
It grew closer and closer. The track leveled completely out. The sled slowed down more. Before I had the time to really come to terms with it I arrived back at the building.
The sled slowed to a stop, gently pumping against another sled parked on the track. I sat there for a few moments, gasping in great big gulping fear breaths, trying to assure myself the ride didn’t have one last trick of its sleeve.
I looked around. The place was empty, deserted. The overhead lights were still on and the old Pepsi machine still glowed and buzzed, but the ticket booth was dark and empty, a metal gate pulled down over the ticket window.
Suddenly it hit me that I was free and I practically leapt out of the sled and onto the platform. I immediately collapsed. My legs were jelly and my head was spinning. I tried to stand up again and doubled over, dry heaving. Have you ever been out on a boat for a day and have that weird reverse motion sickness when you’re back on solid land? It was like that times a hundred. My inner ear was literally pounding, all the motion had really done a number on it.
I laid there for a few moments and eventually forced myself to stand up on my two wobbling legs. I looked around, a horrible certainty creeping into my mind that there would be no exit, no way off the platform but to my relief an exit turnstyle, one of those full height ones, was set into the fence that surrounded the ride property.
I went through it and found myself back on the main road. The truckstop was still there, still open but far less busy. My car sat in the same corner of the parking lot I had left it.
I allowed myself one look back, just one quick one. The metal skeleton of the Alpine Slide track sat there, dark and quiet but otherwise normal.
I stumbled-ran back to my car, dug the keys out of my pocket, and collapsed inside. When the door shut I let out a primal scream, the tons of fear and confusion and anger all fusing into a single, raw emotion. I screamed again and again.
After a few moments I felt like I was emotionally at least back to a place where I could act, although I wasn’t sure yet what to do next. Not really knowing what to do I cranked the car. The A/C had been on low when I shut off the car and it came roaring back to life and cold air blowing on me almost sent me back into a full on panic attack. I fumbled with the climate controls until the air stopped blowing directly on me, then calmed down enough to turn the heat on, helping to get the chill out of my bones. There was a half full bottle of water in the center console cup holder and I grabbed it and chugged it. Nothing ever tasted as good before or sense as that few ounces of water.
That was when I noticed the clock on the radio head unit. It was 4:17 in the morning. It had been about one, one thirty or so in the afternoon when I got on the accursed ride.
Over 15 hours. I had been on the goddamn ride for over 15 hours. Over half a day.
I just sat there. Warming up. Calming down. I was exhausted. I was dehydrated. I can’t even describe how my head felt. I probably had at least a minor case of hypothermia. I thought about going into the gas station and asking for help but what would I even say, and more than anything I just wanted to get away from this place. And I just wanted to get away. I wanted to be nowhere near that damn ride.
I put the Camaro in gear and pulled into the street and in panic I immediately slammed on the brakes. I was lucky there was no traffic on the road at that moment. The feeling of accelerating to just normal surface street speeds made me sick to my stomach. I gathered myself and very slowly accelerated the car I usually treated with a very heavy foot up to 30 miles an hour. Every time I tried to accelerate at a pace faster than “Old Lady Going to Church, Uphill” I would have a panic attack. I was okay once I was up to speed, but accelerating freaked me out after being on that ride.
I drove about 30 minutes, putting some arbitrary amount of distance between myself and the coaster. Eventually I made it back to where the twisty mountain road met back up with a major road that would eventually meet back up with the highway. After a few more minutes of driving I saw the onramp for the highway. There was one of those big truckstop travel plazas and pulled in, parking right up at the door. I smelled like pee and I can only imagine how I looked, but I didn’t care.
I kept a couple of emergency 20s in the back of my wallet and spent it on the biggest bottle of water the store had, an overpriced bottle of eye drops, and a huge travel mug of coffee. The clerk looked at me as if he was expecting me to either drop dead or rob him the entire time.
Back in my car I downed the coffee. I put a few eye drops in each of my eyes and sat there as the caffeine took effect until I felt like I could make it back to my apartment. The sun was just coming up when I finally pulled out of the truck stop and got on the freeway. I slowly, very slowly, accelerated up to highway speed, put the Camaro in cruise control, and let the miles start to drift away. I turned on the radio, I needed to hear human voices. Every time my mind went back to what had just happened I turned the radio up louder, eventually drowning it out with painful levels of rock music. I wasn’t ready to think about it yet. Yes looking back I know I was just in denial. I finally made it back to the crappy little apartment I had off campus, a little two story walk up studio. I let myself in and collapsed on the cheap couch. I was asleep before I even had the time to decide whether or not to do anything else. I woke up later that afternoon. I took a shower and ate a meal and didn’t think about the ride. I washed the pee stained filthy clothes I had been wearing and didn’t think about the ride. I went back to class and didn’t think about the ride. Every time I thought about the ride I forced it out of my head. I’m sure this wasn’t the most mentally healthy thing to do but what can you say?
I didn’t forget about it, don’t be silly. This isn’t the kind of thing you forget. One day while looking up something else in the university’s library my curiosity got the better of me and I looked up the Alpine Slide. No website but a few Google Map and Yelp mentions. None of them mentioned anything weird, certainly nothing even remotely like what I experienced. Near as I can tell it closed sometimes in the winter of 2012.
Life went on. I mean, that’s what it does. The next day was a little better. And the day after that a little better. And the day after that a little better still. I met a nice girl. Graduated. Got married. Got a nice house in the suburbs. Got a dog. Had a daughter. Spent a lot of time happy and not thinking about being trapped on an endless alpine coaster.And that was my life for many, many years after that.
Until a few weeks back when as a very different person I found myself driving a boring and safe mid sized family SUV through those same mountains. My wife Carol, 5 months pregnant, sat in the passenger seat, our 6 year old daughter Emily in a booster seat in the back, and Max our mixed breed mutt next to her. It had been a nice pleasant trip, driving back from visiting her folks.
I hadn’t thought about that fucking ride in so long I barely registered that I was in the same general area until it was too late. Suddenly I realized that little mountain tourist trap town was only a few minutes down the road. I swallowed hard and gripped the steering wheel hard. Carol was looking out the window at the scenery and Emily was deep into some kid’s Youtube video on an iPad. I forced myself to keep my breath steady as we rounded the corner.The town was still there, sorta. Time had not been kind to it. The gas station was still there, at some point it had been bought out by Shell. The tourist trap shops were still there. One of them was now a vape shop. The diner was closed, the building looking like it sat unused for a long time.
But of course that’s not what I cared about. A looked over at the site where the Alpine Coaster once stood. It was gone. The kitschy fake barn was gone. The site was just a bare concrete slab with a chainlink fence around it. Faded “no trespassing” and “for sale” signs hung off the fence. A pile of old, decaying lumber that might have once long ago been part of the structure covered part of the old lot. No sign of the track remained outside of some old concrete support posts dotting the side of the mountain.
I exhaled out a breath I hadn’t even realized I had been holding in. Soon the little town disappeared in my rear view mirror.
About a half hour later we stopped for gas. I pulled up to a gas pump across from a massive motorhome. Max stuck his head out the window and started barking at a little white dog, a toy breed of some kind, in the window of the motorhome. Carol and Emily immediately headed into the store to restock on snacks while I fueled up.
I stood there, a half smile on my lips as Max barked and wagged his tail in an attempt to attract the attention of the other dog while I filled up the tank, said dog doing an admirable job of ignoring him.
Right about the time I finished fueling up and cleaning the bugs off the windshield Carol returned from inside the store, Emily in tow, arms filled with two full sized bags of Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips and what looked to be a half dozen individually wrapped pickles.
I raised an eyebrow at the collection of food but knew better than to question a pregnant woman's snack choices.
“Should we take Max for a quick walk?” Carol asked. The travel plaza had a nice little gated dog walking area off to the side.
“Yeah probably not a bad idea, he’s been cooped up in the car for a few hours.” I said. Max, upon hearing his name and the word “walk” , forgot about the other dog and upgraded from wagging his tail to wagging his entire body while making whining sounds and staring right at me.
About this time I became half aware that the big motor home next to us was pulling away. I didn’t think much of it, outside of doing a quick automatic mental check to make sure Emily was well clear of the moving vehicle, but she was safely between me and our SUV, well out of the way.
But that was when Emily looked behind me and cheerfully yelled “Daddy look a roller coaster! Can I ride the coaster?”
It’s cliche as fuck I know but my blood went cold.
I turned around slowly, certain in my knowledge that terrible old decrepit Alpine Coaster would be there, having just popped into existence to trap me again.
That.. is not what I saw. Sure enough there was a coaster there, one I hadn’t noticed earlier because it had mostly been blocked by the motor home, but there it was. It was even an Alpine Coaster.
But it was not the same coaster I had encountered those years ago. That was immediately obvious. It was a small but modern and newish looking setup with neon lights and a bunch of people. There was an actual building where you bought tickets and a little snack stand.
“Daddy! Can we go on the coaster!” Emily asked again.
My mouth made motions but no words came out. I glanced over at Carol, hoping she’d say we didn’t have time but to my horror she smiled and said “You know what? That does sound like fun. Daddy will take you while I take Max for a walk.”
My mind raced, trying to think of a way to get out of it. But Emily was already dragging me across the parking lot to the entrance.
I patted my pocket, making sure my phone was in it. Every fiber of my being was screaming to run away. I slept walked through the line and the ticket booth while Emily bounced happily.
We got into a two seat plastic sled. This one was actually a lot nicer than the one my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about. It had two nice cushioned seats, big grab handles, even a nice rollbar.
The sled started up the track. I fought back the panic. I swerved my head around, keeping the building in my view. I was terrified of losing sight of it. We made it to the top and Emily did a happy squeal as we started down the side of the mountain.
My heart raced. Any second, any second my mind told me we’d lose sight of the building and then the ride would never end. The ride sped down the mountain. My mind tortured me with thoughts of not only going through it again, but seeing Emily go through it. The ride went around a big, banking turn. Emily kept shouting happily. How long before Carol reported us missing I wondered? Could I keep Emily calm? What if it lasted even longer this time? What if this time it never ended?
And then we were back at the start of the ride. The same attendant who had helped us into the sled was helping Emily out. I stepped out. The attendant gave me a brief look but said nothing. I guess I looked a little wild eyed.
I was fine. Emily was fine. It had been a perfectly normal, fun ride.
“That was fun Daddy! Thank you!” Emily said. I forced a smile back. “It was fun.” I responded, hoping like I sounded like I meant it.
I took Emily’s hand and we walked back to the car. Max saw us coming and barked happily. Carol looked up from the pint of Ben and Jerry’s she had somehow acquired and added to her snack collection while we were gone and smiled at us.
“Did you have fun?” she asked.
“It was so fun Mommy!” Emily said.
Carol smiled down at her, but then looked at me and frowned. “Are you okay?” Carol could read my face a lot better than the attendant could. “You’re pale.”
I smiled and this time the smile felt real. “Ya know what. Yeah, I think I am okay.”
Carol looked a little puzzled, but didn’t press it. We loaded Emily back in her booster seat, stopped Max from trying desperately to eat half a discarded gas station hot dog off the ground and got him back in the car. Carol and her small collection of snack food took her place in the passenger seat and I got in the driver's seat.I smiled. I cranked the car. I put it in gear. I pulled out of the gas station and back on the road, this time accelerating just a little faster than I had in years.

Hi all! That time again, need some helps affording things and stuffs. I got some old-ass games for y'all (and some not-so-old-ass games too)! If you're interested, please place your interest below in the comments before messaging me for offers ^-^
April 2024
Victoria 3 The Callisto Protocol HUMANKIND Definitive Edition Fashion Police Squad Terraformers Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga Coromon The Excavation of Hob's Barrow
March 2024
Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Realms of Ruin – Ultimate Edition Nioh 2 - The Complete Edition Saints Row Citizen Sleeper Black Skylands Soulstice Afterimage Destroyer: The U-Boat Hunter
February 2024
Beacon Pines There is No Light: Enhanced Edition Children of Silentown Oaken Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder
January 2024
Aragami 2 OTXO Roguebook The Red Lantern Hell Pie Twin Mirror
December 2023
Midnight Fight Express Nobody Saves the World The Gunk The Pale Beyond Last Call BBS From Space
November 2023
Hardspace: Shipbreaker Friends vs Friends Prodeus The Legend of Tianding SCP: Secret Files Souldiers
October 2023
Rebel Inc: Escalation Spirit of the Island Lords and Villeins A Juggler's Tale Mr. Prepper
September 2023
Deceive Inc. The Forgotten City Aces & Adventures Patch Quest Foretales Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus Autonauts vs PirateBots
August 2023
Road 96 Trek to Yomi Arcade Paradise SuchArt: Genius Artist Simulator Tin Can Hot Brass
July 2023
Yakuza 4 Remastered Roadwarden Kraken Academy!! Merchant of the Skies Ozymandias: Bronze Age Empire Sim Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
Jan 2022
Rebel Cops Farmer's Dynasty Between the Stars Retrowave Midnight Protocol
June 2023
Curse of the Dead Gods Honey I Joined a Cult Eternal Threads GRIME Turbo Golf Racing Meeple Station
May 2023
Bendy and the Dark Revival Windjammers 2 Builder Simulator Behind the Frame The Invisible Hand
April 2023
Life Is Strange 2 Founder's Fortune
March 2023
Edge of Eternity Hero's Hour Rogue Lords Demon Turf Golden Light Monster Crown
February 2023
Thronebreaker Othercide Shady Part of Me Scourgebringer Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel Five Dates
January 2023
Encased Olliolli World - Rad Edition Grow: Song of the Evertree Conan Chop Chop Hokko Life The Serpent Rogue
December 2022
First Class Trouble Toem Where The Water Tastes Like Wine Super Magbot
November 2022
Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice Roboquest Eldest Souls Unmetal Raji: An Ancient Epic Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
October 2022
Monster Train First Class Disciples: Liberation Maid of Sker Epic Chef Railroad Corporation
September 2022
The Dungeon of Nahelbeuk Forgive Me Father Crown Trick Industria
June 2022
Phoenix Point Call of the Sea Gamedec Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
May 2022
Spellcaster University If Found... Genesis Noir Embr
April 2022
Killsquad Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos Suzerian Chicken Police Naruto to Boruto: Shinobi Striker
March 2022
Red Solstice 2: Survivors Nebuchadnezzar Evan's Remains
Feb 2022
Black Book Per Aspera Before We Leave Paradise Lost Everhood Calico

This happened 10-ish years ago and pops back in my mind once in a while. I just find now the courage to share it.
One of my (M) best friends (F) has been invested as “best man” role for a civil partnership (M+M) of one of her friends, since she was the reason behind the weird way the couple met the first time. They’ve been a couple for years, so as soon as the civil partnership law passed in our country, they started preparing their ceremony. My friend invited me as her +1 since she believed I could have found my match during the event, obviously thinking that could have been full of gay men (spoiler: it was).
A couple months passes while I just have some ONS with different Mr. Wrong, the usual.
(insert here an I know where this is going)
When the day to take the flight to reach the city of the ceremony, a national strike happened, and our previously “confirmed as unaffected by it” flight (we called the company the day before) has been cancelled last minute while in airport. So we managed to get back our bags after hours of waiting, and reserved another flight for the day after (arriving one day before event instead of two). I was attending the baggage belt waiting, my friend was at the desk queing and taking care for the ticket exchange.
While waiting, I opened my Grindr and… well… how can I say it… I just find someone to spend some “quality moment” with. No further detail is needed.
(insert here another I know where this is going)
Bags on a trolley and tickets in hand, we decided to take a room in an hotel near the airport for the night since the new flight would have took off at 7AM and it was already 5PM (timesaving and moneysaving move).
The next day we travelled as expected. We arrive and first things we do after arriving to hotel: I went to get our wedding outfits ironed urgently and friend went to meet the happy couple (she wanted to have some time with them alone before the wedding).
Wedding day! Both ready to leave, we rushed to the location because she didn’t knew she had to be there at least one hour before until one hour before (but we were 5 mins walking distance).
She leaves me alone for her duties and, not knowing anyone else, I open my Grindr. I was feeling hot in that custom fit suit that I would like to profit of it someway. Met (just met this time, I swear) another guest through it so I wasn’t awkwardly alone anymore, and this guy introduced me to his friends.
The happy couple enters. Both under the arm of their female “best man” likely a bride comes with her father.
Could I be more embarassed.
I had met one of them during the days before the wedding (he travels for work).
I had met the other in the airport (that, I discovered it later, was going back home from his bachelor party).
(insert here an how are you not embarassed)
I was trying to avoid their eyes any possible ways while they were talking around with guests and greeting them (we were quite a crowd), waiting for the officiant, and at a certain point I sneeked out, discreetly.
I immediately texted my friend that I needed to talk her ASAP after the ceremony, but she was immediately available (the officiant arrival was planned later to give the couple the time to enter and greets everybody one by one) and reached me. I told her what I did… well, what THEY did. I had to, so to avoid her any issue, not for any possible guilt from my side, because I did nothing wrong.
Before you ask: No, none of them told that was engaged (didn’t spoke a lot honestly) and no, I didn’t know I “knew” them because I was honestly not-interested in an unknown people wedding. And also no, I don’t ask guys “are you engaged/married/a priest” before doing stuff. If they want to cheat, is their problem.
Back to my friend. At first, laughing an “are you serious?” like she knew some juicy gossip and she had an exclusive. Then a nervous “are you sure?” because it was something that she had to be buried with her. All followed by a desperate “what do we do now?” like she was trying to escape the embarassement.
In the short time we had, I made clear that the decision if I had to leave was only up to her, if she felt anyway I could have caused more troubles. And so she asked. While heading back to the hotel, I received a text from her that was saying (more or less): Screw them, please come back. Sorry if I let you down, not your fault, next time they’ll act better”. Never felt so proud of being someone’s friend.
None of both, so, met me before the ceremony. But as it ended, the airport-guy saw me and went totally pale (there’s a photo of him in that exact moment and it wasn’t just my imagination, he became whiter than white, he created VantaWhite).
We slowly moved to reception (another location but also close enough to walk there), while couple went away with photographer, and my friend wanted some juicy detail (that I didn’t shared - except the “unusual” location of the airport encounter). She didn’t saw the now-married guy in the airport at all and was also surprised she didn’t knew why he came (we discovered the bachelor party part in a later moment). And yes, she noticed the scared face too. One of the guests picked up some words from our coded conversation and we went out saying it was about another guest, not the happy couple.
As they finally arrives at reception, the one that noticed me sees me immediatly and turned his sight away, but then the other one sees me, but wasn’t that scared and had is eyes making and losing contact with mine every couple seconds, like trying to understand if he knows me (or if it’s me or not).
Some time passes and I can’t tell you the embarassement I could feel in their eyes and voice while talking to me and my friend (they were making a kind of a tour, talking to everybody).
Everything went smooth then and we started eating and drinking and dancing… until…
One of the couple (the one I met before at his hotel) come close and bumped me while dancing. I said sorry, he hugged me and said into my ears something I couldn’t ear, so I asked him to repeat it, twice (loud music), and it was a “don’t you ever dare to tell anything to anyone”. While I was reassuring him joking with an “about what”, the airport-one saw us talking and rushed there. He asked to his husband what could I have said and that’s when all started to fall down.
Basically, airport-guy suspected that I told about the airport-thing to hotel-guy, so the questioning made hotel-guy suspicious, but so suspicious that hotel-guy came back holding airport-guy hand, asking if I knew him from before. “Why should I?” was the first vague reply that popped out of my mouth, and I should have stopped, because (maybe for the alcohol, maybe for the drama effect) I added an “You shouldn’t have secrets anymore now, if you still have some, go tell each other”. That was the confirmation that hotel-guy was expecting, even if then to me wasn’t looking bad at all to say. They went then arguing in a corner before and somewhere else after. Then their best-women were called in and joined them… and while we all were still dancing and having fun, my friend came to pick me to go and give confirmations. She was fuming, not with me but with them.
Basically, hotel-guy was accusing airport-guy of cheating again, not confessing that he did the same and menacing legal action to have a refund for the money spent from actual husband and me.
And boom! Since the hotel-guy intended my fake not-knowing about what he was talking about like a real one and that wasn’t me the one who met, and he was faking innocence, I pulled out my Grindr with still his photos and messages and phone number.
Screenshotted and sent the chat I had with hotel-guy to airport-guy and viceversa. That was the end of the civil partnership and of the party. Not even arrived to the cake.
No legal action were taken by their part, and they legally started separate lives the day after. Came out that if airport-guy was a serial cheater, hotel-guy was helding other undisclosed secrets to his partner, but, so he says, he cheated just once, with me (how unlucky can one be?).
I wrote “no legal action were taken by their part” because some guests requested their gifts returned, as the union was untied and, after a bit, some lawyers letters arrived. So they had to refund some gifts too.
Me and my friend didn’t dared to ask for our.
But, hey… I met airport-guy again. And again. And again… For few years, anytime he was coming in the area he always texted.
But, shamefully, he never spilled the tea about his ex-husband other secrets.

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/pikmri/calvin324hks_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/of2wzu/flair_profile_ucalvin324hk/
Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
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• 10 Second Ninja X
• 11-11 Memories Retold
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• 8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume I
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• A Game of Thrones: The Board Game
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• A JUGGLER'S TALE
• A Long Way Down
• A PLAGUE TALE: INNOCENCE
• A Robot Named Fight!
• A Tale for Anna
• A.I.M.2 Clan Wars
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• Adore
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• Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot The First Cases
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• Alder's Blood: Definitive Edition
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• AMID EVIL
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• As Far as the Eye
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• AUTONAUTS
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• Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora™ - Ubisoft Connect
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• BEFORE WE LEAVE
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• Bomber Crew
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• bridge constructor
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• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
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• Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
• BUILDER SIMULATOR
• calico
• Call of Duty® Modern Warfare 3™ (2011)
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• Car Mechanic 2018
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2015
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• Castle Morihisa
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• Centipede: Recharged
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• Chernobylite: Enhanced Edition
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• Command & Conquer Remastered (Origin)
• Complete Dread X Collection
• Conarium
• Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
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• Control
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• cornucopia
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• Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel
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• Crash Drive 2
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• Creaks
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• Cultist Simulator: Anthology Edition
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• Cyber Ops
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• Danger Scavenger
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• DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
• Darksiders Warmastered
• Darkwood
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• Day of the Tentacle Remastered
• days of war definitive edition
• Dead by Daylight
• Dead Estate
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• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• Death Stranding Directors Cut
• DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR'S CUT
• Deceased
• DECEIVE INC.
• Degrees of Separation
• Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
• Deliver Us The Moon
• Demetrios - Deluxe Edition
• Depraved
• DESCENDERS
• DESOLATE
• Destiny 2: Beyond Light
• DESTROYER: THE U-BOAT HUNTER
• Detention
• Devil May Cry HD Collection
• Devilated
• Dicey Dungeons
• Dirt 5
• dirt rally
• Dirt Rally 2.0
• Disaster Band
• Disciples III: Reincarnation
• Discolored
• DISTRAINT 2
• Distrust
• DmC: Devil May Cry
• Do Not Feed the Monkeys
• Don't Be Afraid
• Doomed Lands
• Door Kickers: Action Squad
• Doorways: Prelude
• Downfall
• Dragons Dogma Dark Arisen
• Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
• Draugen
• Draw Slasher
• Drawful 2
• Dreams in the Witch House
• Dreamscaper
• DreamWorks Dragons: Dawn of New Riders
• DRIFT21
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• drive!drive!drive!
• Drone Swarm
• Due Process
• Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project
• Duke of Alpha Centauri
• Dungeon Rushers
• Dungeons 2
• Dungeons 3
• DUSK
• Dusk Diver
• Dust to the End
• DV: Rings of Saturn
• Dynopunk
• Earth Defense Force 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair
• Eastern Exorcist
• Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising
• El Matador
• Elderand
• ELDEST SOULS
• Electrician Simulator
• Elemental Survivors
• Elex
• Elex II
• Elite Dangerous
• Embr
• Empire: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Empyrion - Galactic Survival
• ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
• Endless Space 2
• Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
• Endless Space® 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
• Endzone - A World Apart
• Epistory - Typing Chronicles
• Escape the backrooms
• Eternal Threads
• Europa Universalis IV
• European Ship Simulator
• Everdream Valley
• Evil Genius 2: World Domination
• Exorder
• EXPEDITIONS: ROME
• Expeditions: Viking
• Explosionade
• F1 2018
• F1 2019 Anniversary Edition
• F1 2020
• F1 RACE STARS Complete Edition Include DLC
• Fable Anniversary
• Factory Town
• Fallback uprising
• FALLOUT 1
• Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
• FANTASY BLACKSMITH
• FARMER'S DYNASTY
• Farming Simulator 17
• Farming Simulator 19
• Fictorum
• Field of Glory II
• Fights in Tight Spaces
• Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
• Firefighting Simulator - The Squad
• Fishing Adventure
• Flashback
• FLATLAND Vol.2
• FlatOut
• FLING TO THE FINISH
• Floppy Knights
• Fluffy Horde
• FOBIA - ST. DINFNA HOTEL
• For the King
• For The King: Lost Civilization Adventure Pack
• Forgive me Father
• Forts
• Fred3ric
• Fresh Start Cleaning Simulator
• Friends vs Friends
• Frogun
• From Space
• Frostpunk: Game of the Year Edition
• Frozenheim
• Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
• Funtasia
• Gamedec
• Gamedec - Definitive Edition
• Gang Beasts
• GARAGE bad trip
• Garden Story
• Garfield Kart
• GAS STATION SIMULATOR
• Gelly Break Deluxe
• Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition
• Gevaudan
• Ghostrunner
• Giana Sisters 2D
• GIGA WRECKER
• Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
• Glitch Busters: Stuck On You
• Gloria Victis
• Go Home Dinosaurs
• GOAT OF DUTY
• GOD EATER 3
• Godlike Burger
• Godstrike
• Going Under
• Golf Gang
• Golf It!
• Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
• Good Knight
• Gotham Knights
• GREAK: MEMORIES OF AZUR
• GREEDFALL
• Gremlins, inc
• grey goo
• GRID - 2019
• grid ultimate
• GRIP: Combat Racing
• Gungrave G.O.R.E
• Guppy
• Guts and glory
• GYLT
• Hacknet
• Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
• Hamilton's Great Adventure
• Hammerwatch
• Hands of Necromancy
• Havsala: Into the Soul Palace
• Headsnatchers
• Heartwood Heroes
• Heat Signature
• Helheim Hassle
• Hell Let Loose
• Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
• Hellbound
• Hellstuck: Rage With Your Friends
• Hero of the Kingdom III
• Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
• Heroes of Hammerwatch
• Heros hour
• Hexologic
• Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
• Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
• Hidden Deep
• High On Life
• Hitman (2016) Game of the Year Edition
• HITMAN 2 - Gold Edition
• Hoa
• Hob
• Hollow Knight
• Holy Potatoes! A Spy Story?!
• Home Sweet Home
• Home Sweet Home EP2
• Homestead Arcana
• Hood: Outlaws & Legends
• Hoplegs
• Hot Tin Roof: The Cat That Wore A Fedora
• HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED ™
• Hotshot Racing
• House Flipper
• How to Survive 2
• Hue
• Human: Fall Flat
• HUMANKIND DEFINITIVE EDITION
• Hungry Flame
• Hyper Knights
• I am Bread
• I Am Fish
• I am not a Monster: First Contact
• I Hate Running Backwards
• ibb & obb Double Pack
• ICBM
• Ice Age Scrat's Nutty Adventure
• Ice Lakes
• Impostor Factory
• IN SOUND MIND
• Indivisible
• INDUSTRIA
• Infectonator 3: Apocalypse
• Infinite Beyond The Mind
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Insane 2
• INSOMNIA: The Ark
• Internet Cafe Simulator
• Internet Cafe Simulator 2
• Interstellar Space: Genesis
• Iron Fisticle
• Iron Harvest
• Ittle Dew
• Ittle Dew 2+
• Jack Move
• Jackbox party pack 2
• Jackbox party pack 5
• JANITOR BLEEDS
• Joint Task Force
• Jotun: Valhalla Edition
• Journey For Elysium
• Journey to the Savage Planet
• JUMANJI: The Video Game
• JumpJet Rex
• Jupiter Hell
• Jurassic Park: The Game
• Jurassic World Evolution
• Jurassic World Evolution 2
• JUST CAUSE 4: COMPLETE EDITION
• Just Die Already
• Kardboard Kings: Card Shop Simulator
• Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
• Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
• Kentucky Route Zero - Season Pass Edition
• Kerbal Space Program
• Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition
• Killing Room
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• Kingdom: New Lands
• King's Bounty: Crossworlds
• Knights of Pen & Paper 2
• Knock-knock
• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards] *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.1 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.2 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.3 DLC
• Konung 2
• KungFu Kickball
• Labyrinthine
• Lair of the Clockwork God
• Laserlife
• LAST OASIS
• Lawn Mowing Simulator
• Layers of Fear: Masterpiece Edition
• Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
• Learn Japanese To Survive! Hiragana Battle
• Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War
• Learn Japanese to Survive! Trilogy
• Legend of Keepers
• LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
• LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE.
• Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
• Leisure Suit Larry 1-7
• Lemnis Gate
• Lemon Cake
• lethal league blaze
• Let's School
• Levelhead
• Liberated (GOG)
• Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5)
• Light Fairytale Episode 1
• Light Fairytale Episode 2
• LIGHTMATTER
• Little dragons cafe
• Little Hope
• Little Inner Monsters - Card Game
• Little Nightmares
• Little Nightmares Complete Edition
• Livelock
• Loop Hero
• Loot River
• Looterkings
• Lornsword Winter Chronicle
• Lost Castle
• Love Letter
• Lovecraft's Untold Stories
• Lovely planet arcade
• Lucius2
• Lucius3
• Ludus
• Lumberhill
• LunarLux
• Lust for Darkness
• Lust from Beyond: M Edition
• Mad Experiments: Escape Room
• Mad Max
• Mafia Definitive Edition
• Mafia: Definitive Edition
• Magenta Horizon
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
• Mail Time
• Maize
• Maneater
• Marooners
• MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
• Marvel's Avengers - The Definitive Edition
• Mato Anomalies
• Max Payne 3
• Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
• Medieval II: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Medieval: Total War Collection
• MEEPLE STATION
• Men of War
• MERCHANT OF THE SKIES
• METAL HELLSINGER
• Metal Hellsinger
• Metro Exodus
• Metro last light
• Metro: Last Light Redux
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
• Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
• MIDNIGHT PROTOCOL
• Mighty Switch Force! Collection
• MIND SCANNERS
• Ministry of Broadcast
• Minute of Islands
• Miscreated
• Mists of Noyah
• MKXL
• Mob Rule Classic
• Monaco
• Monster Hunter: Rise
• Monster Slayers - Complete Edition
• Monstrum
• Monstrum 2
• Moon Hunters
• Moons of Madness
• MORDHAU
• Mordheim: City of the Damned
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Edition
• MORTAL KOMBAT XL
• Mortal Shell
• Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
• Mr. Run and Jump
• Murder Mystery Machine
• My Big Sister
• My Friend Peppa Pig
• My Lovely Wife
• My Summer Adventure: Memories of Another Life
• My Time At Portia
• Mythforce
• N++ (NPLUSPLUS)
• Napoleon: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
• NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER
• NECROMUNDA: HIRED GUN
• Necronator: Dead Wrong
• NecroVisioN: Lost Company
• NecroWorm
• Neighbours back From Hell
• Nelly Cootalot: Spoonbeaks Ahoy! HD
• Neon Space
• Neon Space 2
• Neon Sundown
• Nephise: Ascension
• Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
• Never Alone Arctic Collection (w/ Foxtales DLC and FREE Soundtrack)
• Neverinth
• Neverout
• Neverwinter Nights: Complete Adventures
• Newt One
• Nexomon: Extinction
• Nigate Tale
• Nine Parchments
• Nine Witches: Family Disruption
• No Straight Roads: Encore Edition
• No Time to Relax
• Nomad Survival
• Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
• Noosphere
• Northgard
• Northmark: Hour of the Wolf
• Nostradamus: The Last Prophecy
• not the robots
• Nurse Love Addiction
• Nurse Love Syndrome
• Nusakana
• Obduction
• Obey Me
• Observer: System Redux
• Occultus - Mediterranean Cabal
• Odallus: The Dark Call
• Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
• One Finger Death Punch 2
• One Hand Clapping
• One More Island
• One Step From Eden
• One Step From Eden (Region locked)
• Orbital Racer
• Organs Please
• OTXO
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
• Out of Space
• Overclocked: A History of Violence
• Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
• Overpass
• Overruled
• OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
• Pac-Man Museum +
• Pan'Orama
• Panty Party
• Panzer Corps 2
• Papo & Yo
• PARADISE LOST
• Parkan 2
• PARTISANS 1941
• Passpartout 2: The Lost Artist
• Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous
• Patron
• Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
• Paws of Coal
• Payday 2
• PAYDAY 2
• Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
• PER ASPERA
• Perfect
• PGA 2K21
• PGA Tour 2K21
• Pharaonic
• Pixplode
• Pizza Connection 3
• Plague tale
• Planescape: Torment Enhanced Edition
• Planet Alcatraz
• PLANET ZOO
• PlateUp!
• Pogostuck: Rage With Your Friends
• Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
• Police Stories
• Poly Island
• Post Void
• Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
• Prank Call
• Prehistoric Kingdom
• Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
• Pretty Girls Panic!
• Prey
• Primal Carnage: Extinction
• Princess Kaguya: Legend of the Moon Warrior
• Pro Cycling Manager 2020
• Prodeus
• Project CARS - GOTY Edition
• Project Warlock
• Project Wingman (EU)
• PROJECT WINTER
• Propnight
• PULSAR: The Lost Colony
• qomp
• Quadrilateral Cowboy
• Quake II
• Quantum Break
• Quern - Undying Thoughts
• Radio Commander
• RAGE
• Rage in Peace
• RAILROAD CORPORATION
• Railroad Tycoon 3
• Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
• Railway Empire
• Rain World
• Rayon Riddles - Rise of the Goblin King
• Re: Legend
• REBEL COPS
• Rebel Galaxy
• Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
• Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
• Red Riding Hood - Star Crossed Lovers
• Red Ronin
• RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
• Redout Complete Bundle
• Redout: Enhanced Edition
• Redout: Enhanced Edition + DLC pack
• Regular Human Basketball
• REKT! High Octane Stunts
• Relicta
• REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
• Republique
• Rescue Party: Live!
• Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
• Resident Evil 4
• Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
• Resident Evil 7 Biohazard
• Resident Evil Revelations
• Resort Boss: Golf
• RETROWAVE
• rFactor 2
• RiME
• Ring of Pain
• Rise of Industry + 2130 DLC
• Rise of the Slime
• Rising Storm 2: Vietnam + 2 DLCs
• Riven: The Sequel to MYST
• River City Girls
• River City Ransom: Underground
• Roarr! Jurassic Edition
• Roboquest
• Robot Squad Simulator 2017
• Rogue : Genesia
• ROGUE HEROES: RUINS OF TASOS
• ROGUE LORDS
• Rogue Stormers
• rollercoaster tycoon 2
• ROTASTIC
• Roundguard
• ROUNDS
• RUNNING WITH RIFLES
• Rustler
• Ryse: Son of Rome
• S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
• Sailing Era
• Saint Row
• Sam and Max Devil's Playhouse
• SAMUDRA
• Sands of Aura
• Sands of Salzaar
• Saturday Morning RPG
• Save Room - Organization Puzzle
• Scarlet Tower
• Scorn
• SCP: 5K
• SCUM
• SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
• Second Extinction
• Secret Government
• Serious Sam 3 Bonus Content DLC, Serious Sam 3: Jewel of the Nile, and Serious Sam 3: BFE
• SEUM speedrunners from hell
• SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
• Severed Steel
• Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice
• Shadowgate
• SHADOWS: AWAKENING
• Shape of the World
• She Sees Red - Interactive Movie
• Shenmue I & II
• SHENZHEN I/O
• Shift Happens
• Shing!
• Shoppe Keep 2 - Business and Agriculture RPG Simulation
• Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
• Sid Meier's Civilization VI
• Sid Meier's Railroads!
• Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (EPIC)
• Silver Chains
• SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition
• Sinking Island
• SINNER: Sacrifice for Redemption
• Skautfold Chapters 1-4
• Skullgirls 2nd Encore
• Slain: Back from Hell
• Slap City
• Slash It
• Slash It 2
• Slash It Ultimate
• Slay the Spire
• Small World
• Smart Factory Tycoon
• Smile For Me
• Smoke and Sacrifice
• Smoke and Sacrifice
• Smushi Come Home
• Snail bob 2 tiny troubles
• Sniper Elite 3
• Sniper Elite 3 + Season Pass DLC
• Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
• Sniper Ghost Warrior 3 - Season Pass Edition
• Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts
• Snooker 19
• SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
• Songs of Conquest
• Sonic Adventure 2
• Sonic Adventure DX
• Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
• Sonic Generations Collection
• Soulblight
• Souldiers
• SOULSTICE
• Soundfall
• Source of Madness
• Spartan Fist
• Spec Ops
• Speed Limit
• Spelunx and the Caves of Mr. Seudo
• Spidersaurs
• Spin Rush
• Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
• Spirit of the Island
• Spirit of the North
• Spring Bonus
• Stairs
• STAR WARS - Knights of the Old Republic
• STAR WARS - The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
• Star Wolves
• Starsand
• STASIS: Bone Totem
• State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition
• Steel Rats™
• Stick Fight: The Game
• Still Life
• Still Life 2
• Stirring Abyss
• STONE
• Strange Brigade
• Strange Brigade Deluxe Edition
• STRANGER
• Strategic Command: World War I
• Strategic Mind: Blitzkrieg
• Strategic Mind: Fight for Freedom
• Strategic Mind: Spectre of Communism
• Strategic Mind: Spirit of Liberty
• Strategy & Tactics: Wargame Collection
• Streamer Life Simulator
• Street Fighter V
• Street of fury ex
• Strider
• Strikey Sisters
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Styx: Master of Shadows
• Styx: Shards of Darkness
• SuchArt
• Sudden Strike Gold
• Suite 776
• Sumoman
• Sunblaze
• SUNLESS BUNDLE
• Sunset Overdrive
• Super Buff HD
• Super Mag Bot
• Superbugs: Awaken
• Superhot
• Surgeon Simulator 2
• Survive the Nights
• Surviving Mars
• Surviving Mars
• Surviving The Aftermath
• Swag and Sorcery
• Sword Legacy Omen
• Sword of the Necromancer
• Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
• Syberia 3
• Symphonic Rain
• Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga
• Synthwave Dream '85
• Tacoma
• Take Off - The Flight Simulator
• Tales
• Tales from the Borderlands
• Tales of Vesperia™: Definitive Edition
• Talk to Strangers
• Tallowmere
• Tangledeep
• Tank Mechanic Simulator
• Tannenberg
• Team Sonic Racing
• TEKKEN 7
• TEMTEM
• Terminus: Zombie Survivors
• Terror of Hemasaurus
• Textorcist
• Tharsis
• The Adventure Pals
• The Amazing American Circus
• The Anacrusis
• The Ascent
• The Battle of Polytopia
• The Battle of Polytopia *DLC1. Cymanti Tribe *DLC2. ∑∫ỹriȱŋ Tribe *DLC3. Aquarion Tribe *DLC4. Polaris Tribe
• The Blackout Club
• The Callisto Protocol™
• The Chess Variants Club
• The Citadel
• The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
• THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
• The Darkest Tales
• The Dungeon Beneath
• The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos
• The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
• The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind® Game of the Year Edition
• The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion® Game of the Year Edition
• The Elder Scrolls Online
• The Escapists 2
• THE GAME OF LIFE 2
• The Golf Club™ 2019 featuring PGA TOUR
• The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game
• The Hong Kong Massacre
• The Horror Of Salazar House
• The Innsmouth Case
• The Invisible Hours
• The Jackbox Party Pack 9
• The Last Campfire
• The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame
• The Letter - Horror Visual Novel
• The Long Dark
• The Manhole: Masterpiece Edition
• The Mortuary Assistant
• The Mummy Demastered
• The Outer Worlds
• THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
• THE PALE BEYOND
• The Quarry
• The Quarry deluxe
• The Ramp
• The Red Lantern
• The Rewinder
• The Sacred Tears TRUE
• The Sexy Brutale
• The Tarnishing of Juxtia
• The Tenants
• The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
• THE UNCERTAIN: LAST QUIET DAY
• The Uncertain: Light At The End
• The USB Stick Found in the Grass
• The Walking Dead
• The Walking Dead - 400 Days
• The Walking Dead Saints and Sinners
• The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
• The Walking Dead: Final Season
• The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
• The Walking Dead: Season 1
• The Walking Dead: Season Two
• The Way
• The Wild At Heart
• The Wild Eight
• The Witness
• Them and Us
• They Bleed Pixels
• Thief of Thieves
• This War of Mine
• This Way Madness Lies
• Three Kingdom: The Journey
• Time on Frog Island
• Tinkertown
• Tiny Tina’s Wonderland(EU)
• TINY TINA'S WONDERLANDS CHAOTIC GREAT EDITION
• Tiny Troopers
• Tinykin
• Tinytopia
• TIS-100
• Titan Quest
• Tokyo Xanadu eX+
• Tools up
• Tooth and Tail
• Torchlight
• Total Tank Simulator
• Tour de France 2020
• Tower Unite
• Trailblazers
• Train Sim World 3: Standard Edition
• Train Simulator Classic
• Train Valley 1
• Transport INC
• Treasure Hunter Simulator
• TRIBES OF MIDGARD
• Trine 4
• Trinity Fusion
• Trombone Champ
• Tropico 5 - Complete Collection
• Trover Saves the Universe
• Tunche
• Turmoil
• Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
• Twin Mirror
• Two Point Campus
• Two Point Hospital
• TYPECAST
• Tyrant's Blessing
• Ultimate Chicken Horse
• Ultimate Zombie Defense
• Ultra Space Battle Brawl
• Unavowed
• Undead Horde
• Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
• Unity of Command: Stalingrad Campaign
• Universim
• UNLOVED
• Unpacking
• Until I have you
• Unto The End
• Upside Down
• URU: Complete Chronicles
• Vagante
• Valfaris
• Valfaris: Mecha Therion
• Valkryia Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
• Valkyria Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
• Valkyria Chronicles 4: Complete Edition
• Vambrace: Cold Soul
• Vampire Survivors
• Vectronom
• Velocity Noodle
• Venba
• Verne: The Shape of Fantasy
• Victoria 3
• Victoria II
• Viking: Battle For Asgard
• Virgo Versus The Zodiac
• VirtuaVerse
• Visage
• Viscerafest
• Void Bastards
• VOIDIGO
• Volcanoids
• Voltage High Society
• V-Rally 4
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG)
• Wargroove
• Warhammer 40,000 Sanctus Reach - Complete Edition
• Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon - Imperium Complete
• Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector
• Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
• Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
• Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf Special Edition
• WARHAMMER AGE OF SIGMAR: REALMS OF RUIN – ULTIMATE EDITION
• Warhammer vermintide collector's edition
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
• Warhammer: Vermintide 2
• Warman
• Wasteland 3
• Wayward
• WE NEED TO GO DEEPER
• We should talk.
• We Were Here Together
• We Were Here Too
• Webbed
• What Lies in the Multiverse
• When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
• while True: learn()
• Whos Your daddy
• Wick
• Will You Snail?
• Windward
• Witch It
• Witchy Life Story
• wizard of legends
• Wolfenstein 3D
• Worms Rumble
• WRC 6 FIA World Rally Championship
• WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds
• WWE 2K23
• WWZ Aftermath
• Wytchwood
• X-COM: COMPLETE PACK
• XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
• XIII - Classic
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
• Yakuza Kiwami
• Yakuza: Like A Dragon
• Yumeutsutsu Re:After
• Yumeutsutsu Re:Master
• Zen Chess: Mate in One, Mate in 2 , Mate in 3 , Mate in 4 , Champion's Moves (5 games)
• Ziggurat
• Zombie Army 4
• Zombie Army Trilogy
• Zool Redimensioned

DLCs and Softwares:

• For The King: Lost Civilization Adventure Pack
• Train Simulator: Isle of Wight Route Add-On
• Train Simulator: Woodhead Electric Railway in Blue Route Add-On
• Train Simulator: North Somerset Railway Route Add-On
• Train Simulator: Union Pacific Heritage SD70ACes Loco Add-On
• Train Simulator: London to Brighton Route Add-On
• BR Class 170 'Turbostar' DMU Add-On
• DB BR 648 Loco Add-On
• Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
• Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
• Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
• Grand Central Class 180 'Adelante' DMU Add-On
• Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - Gilroy Route Add-On
• SONIC ADVENTURE 2: BATTLE
• Small World - A Spider's Web
• Small World - Cursed
• Small World - Royal Bonus
• The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - Goodies Pack
• The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - OST
• Thompson Class B1 Loco Add-On
• Total War: Shogun 2 - Rise of the Samurai
• Train Sim World® 3: Birmingham Cross-city line
• Train Sim World®: BR Class 20 'Chopper' Loco
• Train Sim World®: Brighton Main Line: London Victoria - Brighton
• Train Sim World®: Caltrain MP36PH-3C 'Baby Bullet'
• Train Sim World®: Cathcart Circle Line: Glasgow - Newton & Neilston
• Train Sim World®: Clinchfield Railroad: Elkhorn - Dante
• Train Sim World®: Great Western Express
• Train Sim World®: Hauptstrecke Hamburg - Lubeck
• Train Sim World®: LIRR M3 EMU
• Train Sim World®: Long Island Rail Road: New York - Hicksville
• Train Sim World®: Nahverkehr Dresden - Riesa
• Train Sim World®: Northern Trans-Pennine: Manchester - Leeds
• Train Sim World®: Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - San Jose
• Train Sim World®: Rhein-Ruhr Osten: Wuppertal - Hagen
• Train Sim World®: Tees Valley Line: Darlington - Saltburn-by-the-sea
• Worms Rumble - Armageddon Weapon Skin Pack
• Worms Rumble - Captain & Shark Double Pack
• Worms Rumble - Legends Pack
• Worms Rumble - New Challengers Pack
• Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
• Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC
• Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
• Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
• GameGuru
• GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
• Intro to Game Development with Unity
• Music Maker EDM Edition
• Neverwinter Nights: Darkness Over Daggerford
• Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Dark Dreams of Furiae
• Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Tyrants of the Moonsea
• Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition
• Neverwinter Nights: Infinite Dungeons
• Neverwinter Nights: Pirates of the Sword Coast
• Neverwinter Nights: Wyvern Crown of Cormyr
• PDF-Suite 1 Year License
• Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
• RPG Maker VX
• WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS - Ultimate Brawlers Pass
• We Are Alright
• The Outer Worlds Expansion Pass
• A Hat in Time - Seal the Deal DLC
• City Skylines:mass transit
• A Game Of Thrones - A Dance With Dragons
• A Game Of Thrones - A Feast For Crows
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Gods of Asgard
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mythical Monsters
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mystics of Midgard
• Carcassonne - The Princess and The Dragon DLC
• Carcassonne - Traders & Builders DLC
• Carcassonne - Winter & Gingerbread Man DLC
• Carcassonne - Inns & Cathedrals
• Carcassonne - The River
• Splendor: The Trading Posts DLC
• Splendor: The Strongholds DLC
• Splendor: The Cities DLC
• Small World - Be Not Afraid... DLC
• Small World - Grand Dames DLC
• Small World - Cursed!
• Sands of Salzaar - The Ember Saga
• Sands of Salzaar - The Tournament
• Monster Train: The Last Divinity DLC
• WARSAW

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Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
Fees on buyer if any, currency is USD unless specified
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name

• 10 Second Ninja X
• 11-11 Memories Retold
• 112 Operator
• 12 is Better Than 6
• 198X
• 1993 Space Machine
• 60 Parsecs
• 7 Billion Humans
• 8 DOORS
• 8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume I
• 9 Years of Shadows
• 911 Operator
• A Game of Thrones: The Board Game
• A Hat in Time
• A Hole New World
• A JUGGLER'S TALE
• A Long Way Down
• A PLAGUE TALE: INNOCENCE
• A Robot Named Fight!
• A Tale for Anna
• A.I.M.2 Clan Wars
• Ace Combat Assault Horizon Enhanced Edition
• Adore
• Aeterna Noctis
• AETHERIS
• Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot The First Cases
• AIdol
• Airborne Kingdom
• Alba: A Wildlife Adventure
• Alder's Blood: Definitive Edition
• Alfred Hitchcock - Vertigo
• Alien Breed Trilogy
• Aliens vs. Predator™ Collection
• All-Star Fruit Racing
• Almost There: The Platformer
• American Fugitive
• American Truck Simulator
• Amerzone: The Explorer’s Legacy
• AMID EVIL
• Amnesia rebirth
• Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
• Anomalous
• Another World – 20th Anniversary Edition
• Antigraviator
• Anuchard
• APICO
• APICO
• Aragami
• Aragami 2
• Arboria
• Arcade Paradise
• Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP
• Arcade Spirits
• Arkham Horror: Mother's Embrace
• Armada 2526 Gold Edition
• Army Men RTS
• army of ruin
• Arto
• Ary and the Secret of Seasons
• As Far as the Eye
• Ascension to the Throne
• Assemble With Care
• Assetto Corsa Competizione
• Assetto Corsa Ultimate Edition
• Astebreed Definitive Edition
• Astronarch
• Attack of the Earthlings
• Automachef
• Automobilista
• Automobilista 2
• AUTONAUTS
• AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
• Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora™ - Ubisoft Connect
• AVICII Invector: Encore Edition
• Awesomenauts All Nauts pack
• Baba is you
• Back 4 Blood
• Back 4 blood (EU)
• Backbone
• Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition
• Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition
• Banners of Ruin
• Bartlow's Dread Machine
• BASEMENT
• Batbarian: Testament of the Primordials
• Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham Origins
• Battle Royale Tycoon
• Battlecruisers
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
• BATTLESTAR GALACTICA DEADLOCK SEASON ONE
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock: Complete
• BATTLETECH MERCENARY COLLECTION
• BATTLETECH Shadow Hawk Pack
• BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
• BEFORE WE LEAVE
• Beholder 2
• Ben 10
• Ben 10: Power Trip
• Bendy and the Ink Machine™
• Between the Stars
• Beyond a Steel Sky
• Beyond The Edge Of Owlsgard
• Beyond the Long Night
• BEYOND THE WIRE
• Beyond: Two Souls
• BIOMUTANT
• Bionic Commando
• Bionic Commando Rearmed
• BioShock: The Collection
• BLACK BOOK
• Black Moon Chronicles
• Black Paradox
• BLACK SKYLANDS
• BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
• Blacksad: Under the Skin
• Blade of Darkness
• Blasphemous
• Blazing Chrome
• Blightbound
• Blood And Zombies
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
• Bomber Crew
• Boneless Zombie
• Boomerang Fu
• Borderlands 3
• Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
• Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition
• Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
• Bot Vice
• Bounty of One
• Brawlout
• Breakout: Recharged
• Breathedge
• bridge constructor
• Bridge constructor medieval
• bridge constructor stunts
• Broken Lines
• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
• Brutal Legend
• Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
• BUILDER SIMULATOR
• calico
• Call of Duty® Modern Warfare 3™ (2011)
• Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
• Car Mechanic 2018
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2015
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
• Castle Morihisa
• Castle on the Coast
• castle storm
• CastleStorm
• Cat Cafe Manager
• Caveblazers
• Celeste
• Centipede: Recharged
• CHANGE: A Homeless Survival Experience
• Charlie's Adventure
• Chenso Club
• Chernobylite: Enhanced Edition
• Chess Ultra
• Chicago 1930 : The Prohibition
• Chivalry 2
• Chop Goblins
• Chorus
• Cities Skylines + After Dark
• Cities: Skylines
• City of Beats
• CivCity: Rome
• Click and Slay
• Cloud Gardens
• Cloudpunk
• Code Vein
• Coffee Talk
• Comedy Night
• Command & Conquer Remastered (Origin)
• Complete Dread X Collection
• Conarium
• Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
• Constructor Plus
• Control
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• cornucopia
• Corridor Z
• Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel
• Cosmonautica
• Crash Drive 2
• Crash Drive 3
• Creaks
• Creepy Tale
• Crookz the big heist
• CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
• Crush Your Enemies
• Cube Runner
• Cultist Simulator: Anthology Edition
• Curse: The Eye of Isis
• Cyber Ops
• Cybercube
• Danger Scavenger
• Dark Deity
• DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
• Darksiders Warmastered
• Darkwood
• DARQ: Complete Edition
• Day of the Tentacle Remastered
• days of war definitive edition
• Dead by Daylight
• Dead Estate
• Dead Rising 2
• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• Death Stranding Directors Cut
• DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR'S CUT
• Deceased
• DECEIVE INC.
• Degrees of Separation
• Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
• Deliver Us The Moon
• Demetrios - Deluxe Edition
• Depraved
• DESCENDERS
• DESOLATE
• Destiny 2: Beyond Light
• DESTROYER: THE U-BOAT HUNTER
• Detention
• Devil May Cry HD Collection
• Devilated
• Dicey Dungeons
• Dirt 5
• dirt rally
• Dirt Rally 2.0
• Disaster Band
• Disciples III: Reincarnation
• Discolored
• DISTRAINT 2
• Distrust
• DmC: Devil May Cry
• Do Not Feed the Monkeys
• Don't Be Afraid
• Doomed Lands
• Door Kickers: Action Squad
• Doorways: Prelude
• Downfall
• Dragons Dogma Dark Arisen
• Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
• Draugen
• Draw Slasher
• Drawful 2
• Dreams in the Witch House
• Dreamscaper
• DreamWorks Dragons: Dawn of New Riders
• DRIFT21
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• drive!drive!drive!
• Drone Swarm
• Due Process
• Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project
• Duke of Alpha Centauri
• Dungeon Rushers
• Dungeons 2
• Dungeons 3
• DUSK
• Dusk Diver
• Dust to the End
• DV: Rings of Saturn
• Dynopunk
• Earth Defense Force 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair
• Eastern Exorcist
• Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising
• El Matador
• Elderand
• ELDEST SOULS
• Electrician Simulator
• Elemental Survivors
• Elex
• Elex II
• Elite Dangerous
• Embr
• Empire: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Empyrion - Galactic Survival
• ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
• Endless Space 2
• Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
• Endless Space® 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
• Endzone - A World Apart
• Epistory - Typing Chronicles
• Escape the backrooms
• Eternal Threads
• Europa Universalis IV
• European Ship Simulator
• Everdream Valley
• Evil Genius 2: World Domination
• Exorder
• EXPEDITIONS: ROME
• Expeditions: Viking
• Explosionade
• F1 2018
• F1 2019 Anniversary Edition
• F1 2020
• F1 RACE STARS Complete Edition Include DLC
• Fable Anniversary
• Factory Town
• Fallback uprising
• FALLOUT 1
• Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
• FANTASY BLACKSMITH
• FARMER'S DYNASTY
• Farming Simulator 17
• Farming Simulator 19
• Fictorum
• Field of Glory II
• Fights in Tight Spaces
• Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
• Firefighting Simulator - The Squad
• Fishing Adventure
• Flashback
• FLATLAND Vol.2
• FlatOut
• FLING TO THE FINISH
• Floppy Knights
• Fluffy Horde
• FOBIA - ST. DINFNA HOTEL
• For the King
• For The King: Lost Civilization Adventure Pack
• Forgive me Father
• Forts
• Fred3ric
• Fresh Start Cleaning Simulator
• Friends vs Friends
• Frogun
• From Space
• Frostpunk: Game of the Year Edition
• Frozenheim
• Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
• Funtasia
• Gamedec
• Gamedec - Definitive Edition
• Gang Beasts
• GARAGE bad trip
• Garden Story
• Garfield Kart
• GAS STATION SIMULATOR
• Gelly Break Deluxe
• Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition
• Gevaudan
• Ghostrunner
• Giana Sisters 2D
• GIGA WRECKER
• Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
• Glitch Busters: Stuck On You
• Gloria Victis
• Go Home Dinosaurs
• GOAT OF DUTY
• GOD EATER 3
• Godlike Burger
• Godstrike
• Going Under
• Golf Gang
• Golf It!
• Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
• Good Knight
• Gotham Knights
• GREAK: MEMORIES OF AZUR
• GREEDFALL
• Gremlins, inc
• grey goo
• GRID - 2019
• grid ultimate
• GRIP: Combat Racing
• Gungrave G.O.R.E
• Guppy
• Guts and glory
• GYLT
• Hacknet
• Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
• Hamilton's Great Adventure
• Hammerwatch
• Hands of Necromancy
• Havsala: Into the Soul Palace
• Headsnatchers
• Heartwood Heroes
• Heat Signature
• Helheim Hassle
• Hell Let Loose
• Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
• Hellbound
• Hellstuck: Rage With Your Friends
• Hero of the Kingdom III
• Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
• Heroes of Hammerwatch
• Heros hour
• Hexologic
• Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
• Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
• Hidden Deep
• High On Life
• Hitman (2016) Game of the Year Edition
• HITMAN 2 - Gold Edition
• Hoa
• Hob
• Hollow Knight
• Holy Potatoes! A Spy Story?!
• Home Sweet Home
• Home Sweet Home EP2
• Homestead Arcana
• Hood: Outlaws & Legends
• Hoplegs
• Hot Tin Roof: The Cat That Wore A Fedora
• HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED ™
• Hotshot Racing
• House Flipper
• How to Survive 2
• Hue
• Human: Fall Flat
• HUMANKIND DEFINITIVE EDITION
• Hungry Flame
• Hyper Knights
• I am Bread
• I Am Fish
• I am not a Monster: First Contact
• I Hate Running Backwards
• ibb & obb Double Pack
• ICBM
• Ice Age Scrat's Nutty Adventure
• Ice Lakes
• Impostor Factory
• IN SOUND MIND
• Indivisible
• INDUSTRIA
• Infectonator 3: Apocalypse
• Infinite Beyond The Mind
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Insane 2
• INSOMNIA: The Ark
• Internet Cafe Simulator
• Internet Cafe Simulator 2
• Interstellar Space: Genesis
• Iron Fisticle
• Iron Harvest
• Ittle Dew
• Ittle Dew 2+
• Jack Move
• Jackbox party pack 2
• Jackbox party pack 5
• JANITOR BLEEDS
• Joint Task Force
• Jotun: Valhalla Edition
• Journey For Elysium
• Journey to the Savage Planet
• JUMANJI: The Video Game
• JumpJet Rex
• Jupiter Hell
• Jurassic Park: The Game
• Jurassic World Evolution
• Jurassic World Evolution 2
• JUST CAUSE 4: COMPLETE EDITION
• Just Die Already
• Kardboard Kings: Card Shop Simulator
• Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
• Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
• Kentucky Route Zero - Season Pass Edition
• Kerbal Space Program
• Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition
• Killing Room
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• Kingdom: New Lands
• King's Bounty: Crossworlds
• Knights of Pen & Paper 2
• Knock-knock
• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards] *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.1 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.2 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.3 DLC
• Konung 2
• KungFu Kickball
• Labyrinthine
• Lair of the Clockwork God
• Laserlife
• LAST OASIS
• Lawn Mowing Simulator
• Layers of Fear: Masterpiece Edition
• Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
• Learn Japanese To Survive! Hiragana Battle
• Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War
• Learn Japanese to Survive! Trilogy
• Legend of Keepers
• LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
• LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE.
• Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
• Leisure Suit Larry 1-7
• Lemnis Gate
• Lemon Cake
• lethal league blaze
• Let's School
• Levelhead
• Liberated (GOG)
• Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5)
• Light Fairytale Episode 1
• Light Fairytale Episode 2
• LIGHTMATTER
• Little dragons cafe
• Little Hope
• Little Inner Monsters - Card Game
• Little Nightmares
• Little Nightmares Complete Edition
• Livelock
• Loop Hero
• Loot River
• Looterkings
• Lornsword Winter Chronicle
• Lost Castle
• Love Letter
• Lovecraft's Untold Stories
• Lovely planet arcade
• Lucius2
• Lucius3
• Ludus
• Lumberhill
• LunarLux
• Lust for Darkness
• Lust from Beyond: M Edition
• Mad Experiments: Escape Room
• Mad Max
• Mafia Definitive Edition
• Mafia: Definitive Edition
• Magenta Horizon
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
• Mail Time
• Maize
• Maneater
• Marooners
• MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
• Marvel's Avengers - The Definitive Edition
• Mato Anomalies
• Max Payne 3
• Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
• Medieval II: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Medieval: Total War Collection
• MEEPLE STATION
• Men of War
• MERCHANT OF THE SKIES
• METAL HELLSINGER
• Metal Hellsinger
• Metro Exodus
• Metro last light
• Metro: Last Light Redux
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
• Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
• MIDNIGHT PROTOCOL
• Mighty Switch Force! Collection
• MIND SCANNERS
• Ministry of Broadcast
• Minute of Islands
• Miscreated
• Mists of Noyah
• MKXL
• Mob Rule Classic
• Monaco
• Monster Hunter: Rise
• Monster Slayers - Complete Edition
• Monstrum
• Monstrum 2
• Moon Hunters
• Moons of Madness
• MORDHAU
• Mordheim: City of the Damned
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Edition
• MORTAL KOMBAT XL
• Mortal Shell
• Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
• Mr. Run and Jump
• Murder Mystery Machine
• My Big Sister
• My Friend Peppa Pig
• My Lovely Wife
• My Summer Adventure: Memories of Another Life
• My Time At Portia
• Mythforce
• N++ (NPLUSPLUS)
• Napoleon: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
• NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER
• NECROMUNDA: HIRED GUN
• Necronator: Dead Wrong
• NecroVisioN: Lost Company
• NecroWorm
• Neighbours back From Hell
• Nelly Cootalot: Spoonbeaks Ahoy! HD
• Neon Space
• Neon Space 2
• Neon Sundown
• Nephise: Ascension
• Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
• Never Alone Arctic Collection (w/ Foxtales DLC and FREE Soundtrack)
• Neverinth
• Neverout
• Neverwinter Nights: Complete Adventures
• Newt One
• Nexomon: Extinction
• Nigate Tale
• Nine Parchments
• Nine Witches: Family Disruption
• No Straight Roads: Encore Edition
• No Time to Relax
• Nomad Survival
• Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
• Noosphere
• Northgard
• Northmark: Hour of the Wolf
• Nostradamus: The Last Prophecy
• not the robots
• Nurse Love Addiction
• Nurse Love Syndrome
• Nusakana
• Obduction
• Obey Me
• Observer: System Redux
• Occultus - Mediterranean Cabal
• Odallus: The Dark Call
• Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
• One Finger Death Punch 2
• One Hand Clapping
• One More Island
• One Step From Eden
• One Step From Eden (Region locked)
• Orbital Racer
• Organs Please
• OTXO
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
• Out of Space
• Overclocked: A History of Violence
• Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
• Overpass
• Overruled
• OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
• Pac-Man Museum +
• Pan'Orama
• Panty Party
• Panzer Corps 2
• Papo & Yo
• PARADISE LOST
• Parkan 2
• PARTISANS 1941
• Passpartout 2: The Lost Artist
• Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous
• Patron
• Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
• Paws of Coal
• Payday 2
• PAYDAY 2
• Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
• PER ASPERA
• Perfect
• PGA 2K21
• PGA Tour 2K21
• Pharaonic
• Pixplode
• Pizza Connection 3
• Plague tale
• Planescape: Torment Enhanced Edition
• Planet Alcatraz
• PLANET ZOO
• PlateUp!
• Pogostuck: Rage With Your Friends
• Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
• Police Stories
• Poly Island
• Post Void
• Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
• Prank Call
• Prehistoric Kingdom
• Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
• Pretty Girls Panic!
• Prey
• Primal Carnage: Extinction
• Princess Kaguya: Legend of the Moon Warrior
• Pro Cycling Manager 2020
• Prodeus
• Project CARS - GOTY Edition
• Project Warlock
• Project Wingman (EU)
• PROJECT WINTER
• Propnight
• PULSAR: The Lost Colony
• qomp
• Quadrilateral Cowboy
• Quake II
• Quantum Break
• Quern - Undying Thoughts
• Radio Commander
• RAGE
• Rage in Peace
• RAILROAD CORPORATION
• Railroad Tycoon 3
• Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
• Railway Empire
• Rain World
• Rayon Riddles - Rise of the Goblin King
• Re: Legend
• REBEL COPS
• Rebel Galaxy
• Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
• Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
• Red Riding Hood - Star Crossed Lovers
• Red Ronin
• RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
• Redout Complete Bundle
• Redout: Enhanced Edition
• Redout: Enhanced Edition + DLC pack
• Regular Human Basketball
• REKT! High Octane Stunts
• Relicta
• REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
• Republique
• Rescue Party: Live!
• Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
• Resident Evil 4
• Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
• Resident Evil 7 Biohazard
• Resident Evil Revelations
• Resort Boss: Golf
• RETROWAVE
• rFactor 2
• RiME
• Ring of Pain
• Rise of Industry + 2130 DLC
• Rise of the Slime
• Rising Storm 2: Vietnam + 2 DLCs
• Riven: The Sequel to MYST
• River City Girls
• River City Ransom: Underground
• Roarr! Jurassic Edition
• Roboquest
• Robot Squad Simulator 2017
• Rogue : Genesia
• ROGUE HEROES: RUINS OF TASOS
• ROGUE LORDS
• Rogue Stormers
• rollercoaster tycoon 2
• ROTASTIC
• Roundguard
• ROUNDS
• RUNNING WITH RIFLES
• Rustler
• Ryse: Son of Rome
• S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
• Sailing Era
• Saint Row
• Sam and Max Devil's Playhouse
• SAMUDRA
• Sands of Aura
• Sands of Salzaar
• Saturday Morning RPG
• Save Room - Organization Puzzle
• Scarlet Tower
• Scorn
• SCP: 5K
• SCUM
• SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
• Second Extinction
• Secret Government
• Serious Sam 3 Bonus Content DLC, Serious Sam 3: Jewel of the Nile, and Serious Sam 3: BFE
• SEUM speedrunners from hell
• SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
• Severed Steel
• Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice
• Shadowgate
• SHADOWS: AWAKENING
• Shape of the World
• She Sees Red - Interactive Movie
• Shenmue I & II
• SHENZHEN I/O
• Shift Happens
• Shing!
• Shoppe Keep 2 - Business and Agriculture RPG Simulation
• Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
• Sid Meier's Civilization VI
• Sid Meier's Railroads!
• Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (EPIC)
• Silver Chains
• SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition
• Sinking Island
• SINNER: Sacrifice for Redemption
• Skautfold Chapters 1-4
• Skullgirls 2nd Encore
• Slain: Back from Hell
• Slap City
• Slash It
• Slash It 2
• Slash It Ultimate
• Slay the Spire
• Small World
• Smart Factory Tycoon
• Smile For Me
• Smoke and Sacrifice
• Smoke and Sacrifice
• Smushi Come Home
• Snail bob 2 tiny troubles
• Sniper Elite 3
• Sniper Elite 3 + Season Pass DLC
• Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
• Sniper Ghost Warrior 3 - Season Pass Edition
• Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts
• Snooker 19
• SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
• Songs of Conquest
• Sonic Adventure 2
• Sonic Adventure DX
• Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
• Sonic Generations Collection
• Soulblight
• Souldiers
• SOULSTICE
• Soundfall
• Source of Madness
• Spartan Fist
• Spec Ops
• Speed Limit
• Spelunx and the Caves of Mr. Seudo
• Spidersaurs
• Spin Rush
• Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
• Spirit of the Island
• Spirit of the North
• Spring Bonus
• Stairs
• STAR WARS - Knights of the Old Republic
• STAR WARS - The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
• Star Wolves
• Starsand
• STASIS: Bone Totem
• State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition
• Steel Rats™
• Stick Fight: The Game
• Still Life
• Still Life 2
• Stirring Abyss
• STONE
• Strange Brigade
• Strange Brigade Deluxe Edition
• STRANGER
• Strategic Command: World War I
• Strategic Mind: Blitzkrieg
• Strategic Mind: Fight for Freedom
• Strategic Mind: Spectre of Communism
• Strategic Mind: Spirit of Liberty
• Strategy & Tactics: Wargame Collection
• Streamer Life Simulator
• Street Fighter V
• Street of fury ex
• Strider
• Strikey Sisters
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Styx: Master of Shadows
• Styx: Shards of Darkness
• SuchArt
• Sudden Strike Gold
• Suite 776
• Sumoman
• Sunblaze
• SUNLESS BUNDLE
• Sunset Overdrive
• Super Buff HD
• Super Mag Bot
• Superbugs: Awaken
• Superhot
• Surgeon Simulator 2
• Survive the Nights
• Surviving Mars
• Surviving Mars
• Surviving The Aftermath
• Swag and Sorcery
• Sword Legacy Omen
• Sword of the Necromancer
• Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
• Syberia 3
• Symphonic Rain
• Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga
• Synthwave Dream '85
• Tacoma
• Take Off - The Flight Simulator
• Tales
• Tales from the Borderlands
• Tales of Vesperia™: Definitive Edition
• Talk to Strangers
• Tallowmere
• Tangledeep
• Tank Mechanic Simulator
• Tannenberg
• Team Sonic Racing
• TEKKEN 7
• TEMTEM
• Terminus: Zombie Survivors
• Terror of Hemasaurus
• Textorcist
• Tharsis
• The Adventure Pals
• The Amazing American Circus
• The Anacrusis
• The Ascent
• The Battle of Polytopia
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The episode faded back in to a shot of the Gaffers' platform being raised up to the roof by Scott, Ripper, and Chase as MK watched and Izzy walked over, wiping slime off herself.
"Uh, not to sound lazy," Scott said as he left the chain, "but I'm not feeling so good."
"You probably just have a cold," Izzy told him.
"Since when do colds have sores like this?" Scott followed up as he lifted his right arm and pointed to a round, reddish-brown spot on his elbow.
Izzy looked at him attentively and put her hand on his forehead. "Your body temperature is high, but it's possible that-" she was interrupted by a sudden burp from her teammate that caused her to cringe and take a step back. "Why does your breath smell like lemons?"
"Are you trashing my burps?" Scott asked in confusion.
"Hold on," Justin interrupted as the camera cut to him. "Red sores, fever, lemony burps? Aren't those symptoms of one of the diseases in the book?"
"Page 753," Millie exclaimed. "Mortatistical Crumples Disease!" She gasped. "And it's fatal!"
Everyone gasped. "Mortatistical Crumples is also highly contagious!" MK added, eliciting another gasp from most of the cast.
"Okay, looks like it's quarantine time!" Chris said, backing towards the door with barely-hidden panic. "See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!" He gave them a quick wave, then dashed out the double door between the two vats. Both teams went over to it with shock on their faces as the sounds of power tools were heard on the other side.
The camera cut to Chris as he pounded a nail in with a hammer. It was one of many holding up a red banner with an orange skull-and-crossbones on it, set over several long pieces of wood that had been nailed up to bar the exit. "There's more to this disease than either team knows," he told the camera with an impish grin before walking away with a dark chuckle.
Another shot of the numbered studios was shown. "Hold on," Anne Maria spoke up as the shot cut back to the ten castmates in the challenge set. "How did Dirt Boy catch a fatal disease?"
“I'm sure it's just a twenty-four hour kind of fatal,” Scott hoped.
"We have to quarantine Scott! Stat!" Izzy said in a panic.
The camera showed Ripper furiously inflating a plastic bubble with a bicycle pump; the bubble had a yellow-and-black biohazard symbol on it. "Get inside now!" the bully shouted before Scott threw himself head-first into the bubble.
"Oh no!" Jasmine cried. "Brick has a sore too!" She pointed at the soldier boy's upper left arm, who took one look at the sore and began to wave his arm in a panic.
"It has to be a mistake!" Brick exclaimed.
"Hey!" Scott exclaimed from inside his bubble, another one getting inflated nearby. "Is there an exit to this thing?"
"There isn't one!" Ripper shouted as he continued to pump and Brick got into his bubble.
"Why didn't anyone tell me that before I jumped in?!" Scott griped.
“Okay, everyone just calm down!" Chase said.
"Agreed," Jasmine spoke up sternly. "We should make sure no one else is infected. Symptoms of Mortotistico Crumple's Disease include explosive diarrhea..."
"Oh no!" The camera cut to Chase as his bowels began to groan and he ran into a nearby portable toilet with a panicked look on his face.
"Itchy lips," Jasmine continued as the shot cut to Justin, who suddenly bit his lip.
"My… my lips," he moaned. "They're on fire!" He began to frantically rub and scratch at them, leaving them swollen and red.
"Sudden hot flashes," Jasmine listed off as MK began to sweat profusely and tug at her jacket. "Sea sickness," Ripper turned green and vomited. "Speaking in tongues," Izzy was the next to be affected as she babbled incoherently and indistinguishably with her eyes rolling upwards, which continued even as Jasmine listed the final symptom, "and temporary blindness."
"Everyone can see, right?" Jasmine asked as she checked over the castmates’ current states. "That's good to know," she said in relief before walking forward and bumping straight into Brick's bubble. "Oh no," she said in newfound panic. "I'm the one who's blind!"
Confessional: Anne Maria
"I know this is a reality show," Anne Maria told the confessional camera in a serious tone, "but I doubt that Chris would allow us to actually die on national television!"
Confessional Ends
The scene cut to Chris himself watching from his control room, leaning back in his chair with his legs propped up on the desk in front of him. "You'd think we wouldn't," he told the camera, "but, just imagine the ratings!"
Back in the quarantined set, the camera panned across the room to show that everyone except for Anne Maria, Millie, and the bubbled Brick and Scott were now laying on top of stretchers, groaning and moaning.
“This is super bad,” Millie said. “We have to do something.”
“Do you mean taking their temperatures, because we only have rectal thermometers, and I'm not in the mood to joke around with them,” Anne Maria responded.
“I wasn't even thinking about that at all,” Millie stated. “Joking with diseases is not funny at all.”
“Obviously, but have you noticed we're the only ones who didn't take part in the studying all-nighter, and we're the only ones who haven't been infected?” Anne Maria asked while looking over everybody.
“I'm not so sure about this supposed disease,” Millie mused. “We need to get our hands on one of those textbooks. There has to be something they missed.”
“I’d do it if Chris didn’t seal off the only exit,” Anne Maria argued.
"There’s another exit over there," Millie pointed to the Grips' platform, which was now sitting on the floor empty of body parts. The chain still led up to a hole in the ceiling where the reel was situated.
"Oh yeah. How in the world did I not notice that?" Anne Maria droned sarcastically before the two made a dash for the platform.
"I still haven’t forgotten you pushing me off the diving board a few days ago, so don’t think I’m scared of pulling the platform as high as possible," Millie informed as they stepped onto the platform and pulled down on the chain, making them ascend.
The footage flashed forward to the outside of the studio as the two girls jumped down from a ladder on the wall of the building. “You grab a textbook, I'll look in the kitchen,” Millie instructed before they split off in opposite directions.
Confessional: Millie
"I really hope that the disease is fake," Millie explained in the make-up trailer. "There were some diagnoses and symptoms in the textbook that I've never heard of before, but I've studied a lot about diseases to be familiar with a selective few."
Confessional Ends
Back inside, Scott was shown to be rolling around in his bubble. "How long has it been since I got in this bubble?" he groaned.
"I don't want to hold onto my bladder for more than an hour!" Brick cried while covering his groin with both hands.
"My lips," Justin groaned on his stretcher. "Of all places, why my lips?"
"I'd kiss them to make you feel better, but I'm not a princess and you are not a frog," MK said, sitting up on the stretcher next to him; Jasmine and Chase were visible in a row behind them. "And even then, I am not an animal kisser."
Ripper was sitting against one of the walls, writing something on a piece of paper with a bucket of vomit next to him. “To my parents; don't let my brothers keep the money I've taken from weaklings in the past.” He paused to throw up into his bucket before writing again. “To my brothers; don't even think about stealing my stash from me, especially you, Wolfgang! From your best son, Richard Kennedy.”
The double doors between the vats were thrown open by Millie and Anne Maria. The camera pulled out as the other cast members moaned, and the two young women stepped into the room – the Jersey girl holding a textbook, and the author with some kind of canister.
"Who's there?" Jasmine asked.
"Simmer down, everyone," Anne Maria said. "We're just here to expose the truth about these textbooks, which are actually bogus." She held the book she'd brought up, and easily tore the cover off it. "The book covers are just cereal boxes." Her bowels started to growl, and with a panicked look, she dropped the book and ran towards the portable toilet. "I'll be right back!"
"It can be a crock," Jasmine sat up on her stretcher. "Nobody's faking the sickness!"
“No, but it's still untrue,” Millie interjected. “I just went to Chef's kitchen, and I found this "cheese". The camera focused in on the canister in her hand as she held it up, showing that it had an image of a cheese wedge on the label.
"Uh, what is in that parmesan?" Brick wondered innocently.
"It is not cheese, but it is," Millie tore off the label to reveal a second beneath it with an image of scratching hands on it, "itching powder and laxatives!"
"Chef!" Brick muttered under his breath. "Why did he not inform me?"
It was then that Anne Maria burst back out of the portable toilet followed by a cloud of foul odor. "That explains the diarrhea and itchy lips."
"And I didn't get sick since I'm the only one who didn't eat the pizza," Millie added.
"What about the sores on Brick and Scott?" Chase asked.
"As for those," Millie laughed lightly, walking over to her quarantined teammate. "They're just pepperoni pieces that got stuck on you when you likely fell asleep."
Brick reached over to touch his sore, and it peeled off easily. "She's right!"
Scott also touched his own sore and it also peeled off quickly. "I was suckered! Now can somebody let me out of here now?"
"So wait," MK spoke up, "the disease is fake?"
Jasmine was the first to react, sitting up and blinking. "By golly. I'm not blind anymore!"
"And I can talk normally!" Izzy cheered.
"And I'm not gonna throw up anymore!" Ripper added. "We've been cured!"
"Could I be let out now?!" Brick pleaded. "I have some urgent business to take care of!"
"I'm comin’," Anne Maria rushed over to the bubble and simply popped it with her fingernail. Both of them winced as the bubble burst, and Brick immediately rushed over to the portable toilet.
"And don't forget about me as well!" Scott spoke up, rolling his bubble into the middle of the room.
Izzy took out a pin, popping her teammate's bubble. “This was all first year med school syndrome!” she said. “Too much studying and too little sleep can make you think you've got every disease in the book!”
"Congratulations, Killer Grips!" the voice of Chris McLean came suddenly, the camera pulling out to show the host descending from the ceiling on another chain. "You just won the challenge!"
The five Grips began to cheer and celebrate. "Brilliant diagnostic skills, Anne Maria and Millie. Way to suss it out. And, for your reward," Chris continued, frowning and looking down at his empty hands. "Knew I forgot something. Just a sec!" he said before stepping back onto the chain's foothold and raising back out of the room.
Confessional: Anne Maria
"This challenge was certainly… something," Anne Maria confessed. "I can't believe that I had to play the role of doctor just to tell everybody about the so-called disease being a lie. Who knew tainted pizza could make you have hot flashes and sea sickness?”
Confessional Ends
"One thing's for sure. I'm double checking my food from now on if I want to prevent temporary blindness or having to speak in tongues," Jasmine told the Grips as the footage cut back to them.
“Once again, the pizza was too good to be true,” Brick commented. “You made a good call not eating any slices, Millie.”
“I had no idea that there were laxatives put onto it,” Millie claimed. “If I wasn't so invested with the book, I'd probably eat the pizza and fall victim to the sickness just like you guys.”
It was then that Chris returned, descending down on the same chain as before but now carrying a covered platter. "As I was saying," he said as he walked towards the Grips, "for your reward!"
He removed the cover and the camera zoomed in on what lay beneath – five picture frames, three in back and two in front, each containing a photograph of a different person. The first on the left was a light purple cat. The second was a confident-looking Hawaiian woman with black long hair wearing a yellow tracksuit and red hoop earrings. In the middle was a teenage girl, pale with brown hair tied in a bun and a beige tank top. Fourth was a smiling white man; he had no hair, had golden dog tags around his neck, and was dressed in a dark green military outfit. And on the right end was an elderly black man with white curly hair, a white mustache covering his mouth, and a dark orange collared long-sleeved shirt.
"That's my cat Whiskers!" Jasmine said excitedly as the shot panned across the photos.
"And that's one of my girlfriends Vanessa," Anne Maria declared.
"Yup!" Chris told them. "One of you gets a whole spa night away from this cruddy studio lot, with your very best friend! So, who's the lucky stiff?"
“I'd kill for a spa day, even if it's with my mom, so how about letting me have it?” Justin smiled widely at his team.
“I have some things I want to talk about with my father,” Brick suggested.
“Now wait just a minute…” Jasmine interrupted as she, Brick, and Justin started to argue over who should get the prize.
“Can all of you shut up!!” Anne Maria ceased the fight, causing everyone to look at her. “As much as I would love to be away from this trashy film lot, I say we should let Millie have the reward.”
"Wait, me?" Millie asked in astonishment. “How come?”
"Clearly, you did the most research out of all of us, and you won the challenge for us," Anne Maria answered.
“You did say that the person who contributes the most should claim the reward,” Brick brought up.
“And with you also not eating that pizza, you've certainly earned that spa night,” Jasmine smiled.
“I don't want to be left out, so okay then,” Justin agreed with a shrug.
"Chris, the Killer Grips came to a decision," Anne Maria said before giving Millie a light shove forward.
"W-wow," Millie said softly as she began to tear up. "This is really generous!"
“Just accept the offer before I trade places with you,” Justin said.
"Eeeuuughh," Chris said in disgust. "Clean up on aisle two!" he called, and moments later, a pair of young white men in white work outfits walked through the open door, one of which carried a push broom. They disappeared off-screen for a moment, then reappeared with one pushing Millie towards the door and the other sweeping up after.
"Thank you for allowing me to take the reward!" Millie said as she allowed herself to be escorted out, wiping away her tears with her hands.
The scene cut outside as Millie walked up to the beaten-down Lame-o-sine. The door opened, and she smiled and stepped inside.
"Granddad!" the writer said happily as the shot moved inside to show her hugging the white haired old man who had been seen in one of the pictures. "I've really missed you!"
"I missed you too, Millie," the man said as he hugged his daughter. "Don't get my favorite shirt wet now. I got it dry cleaned."
"Sorry," Millie said as they broke their hug. "I have a lot to talk to you about ever since I competed in the first season."
Her grandfather smiled proudly. "Spill the details. I can tell you had a ball, but don't blame me if I start to doze off more than I do while writing best selling books."
"I'm not that boring!" Millie laughed cutely. "So it all started when I was dropped off on the dock..."
"Sheesh," Chris cringed as the scene cut to him in his control room. "Talk about a loving family! Hopefully they'll get their dullness smoothed while they're at the spa." He pulled a lever on the desk, cutting the monitor feeds to static, and stood up. "So, will the Grips' winning streak last? Or will they fall apart and lose their teamwork? Find out next time, on Total! Drama! Action!"
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
“That spa night was amazing!” Millie told the camera while in the trailer. “The manicures and pedicures were to die for, and the facials and mud bath really smoothened the rough parts of my skin. Granted, this spa night wasn't as fun as the two-day resort back in Camp Wawanakwa, but thankfully, I didn't have to eat any disgusting food this time, so that's an upside. Want to know something interesting? Granddad was more into the spa treatments than me, but don't tell him that I said that to you,” she added with a giggle.
Eva - 14th
Geoff - 14th
Izzy - RETURNED
Trent - 12th
Sky - 11th
Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Brick, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, Izzy, MK, Ripper, Scott

Hi all,
Wanted to share additional thoughts to ultrasun so when the next person like myself is searching google, there’s another added piece of information to go from.
Background: My appearance/complexion - Bright blonde hair, blue eyes and very fair skin. As I kid, I was the kid in factor 30/50 (whatever was the most back in late 90’s/early 00’s) with sun block and white T-shirts on yet still had to sit with after sun and calamine lotion lathered on me and nurse blisters and prickly heat in the evening. All that sun cream used to make me hate holidays, especially the beach.
We then found p20 it was great, we swore by it as a family although it was greasy and stained T-shirts…. 10 or so years later, my dad mentioned it’s not as good as it used to be…. I ignored him and used it again on my last holiday, not only did I have to throw away plenty of T-shirts due to stains from p20, I spent 3 days in the room under aircon with devils itch. This was the worst sun related pain I’ve ever endured.
So this year, after research and awareness into sun care, I tried Ultrasun!
This holiday, I tried both the Ultrasun sensitive Family SFP 30 Sun cream 400ml as well as the Ultrasun Extreme SPF 50+ sun cream 100ml
Ultra Sun state both of their creams are UVA and UVB resistant as well as water resistant, friendly with sensitive skin and long lasting single application (8 hours) so I thought what better way to dip my toe in the water than to test them out in the Mediterranean Blazing sun with temperatures over 30degrees… what could go wrong...
Ultrasun Sensitive SPF30
This is what was my go to. I found it was very quick to go into the skin, left no white cast and within 30 minutes, I couldn’t really feel it on skin. Even my wife suggested I put on cream after touching my arm walking past me! I was very smug in telling her I had. The factor 30 laughed in the face of 27degrees UV level 8 and even with a 2 hour walk along the beach front 3 days in a row with no shirt, I remained looking like the palest Brit in the Greek islands. So pale in fact, I sent our families a photo of myself with Stavros (from BGT) on the 6th day of the holiday and most people thought it was a photo from our first day.
Ultrasun Extreme SPF50+
This is MUCH thicker than the spf30. It left me with visible white marks and white cast however, this cream was only applied on the days that pretty much everyone’s small talk at breakfast consisted of “Morning… its going to be a hot one today” in typical British holidaymaker fashion. I found myself happy with trade off on the hotter days as I’d rather look like the pale chap with no stress about heat and weather or not I was going to ruin another holiday sitting in the room nursing sun burn. I also found the factor 50 left a minor sticky residue on my skin through the day and was very hard to wash off in the evening, including having to hand wash my watch straps to get a white residue off, which oddly also give me more confidence in the cream.
Final/Combined thoughts: As mentioned above, factor 50 can leave white casts. However, I wasn’t confident enough that factor 30 would beat the 30+degree days although I’m sure it would perform well with multiple applications throughout the day. Both of these creams also removed pretty much all tanning ability for me which resulted in a constant bad joke from one of the hotel bar tenders (I need to get a tan and then compares his skin with mine ha ha ha… 😒) despite me sitting in the blazing sun with no shade for the first time in my life! BUT this is of course technically healthier as we know, tans are technically damage. In my experience, If you’re still looking to go back home and show off your tan in the office this is not the cream for you, either try their tan enhancing cream or find another brand. If you’re wanting a cream to protect you so you can have fun in the sun, this is the cream for you. You also do need to be careful with a false sense of security in the event of missing a part of the body with cream. For example, I did actually get burnt on the holiday, my hair parting was unprotected which left me with a scalp burn, of course easy fix was for me to change hairstyle to slick back instead and 24 hours later I was okay, but it shows the point that you need to be extra vigilant, believing you’re fully covered but missing a shoulder will prove to be a painful and easy mistake to make, especially with the factor 30 being absorbed so quickly into the skin. Both creams lasted multiple dips in the pool with towel drying and me taking a tshirt off and on as well as multiple interactions of skin to skin contact with my newborn. I personally found myself using more than the instructions stated eg they say a fingers length worth for the front of my arms but as the cream would get stuck in my hairs, I used a bit more. Over all I went 11 nights with a 400ml bottle of SPF30 and 100ml bottle of SPF50 with some left in both by the end (opaque bottle stops me saying up much specially.) but I only ever applied once a day in the morning.
A key flaw of myself at home in the UK is I get burnt often doing the gardening OR washing the cars etc as I typically hate all creams from my childhood holidays, after the success and ease of Ultrasun creams this holiday, I’m going to grab their SPF20 sport cream for the hot summer days coming in the UK to protect my skin.
TLDR; Next year we’ll be applying the child version to our new born son who has a very similar appearance to me (very fair blonde) as a base layer (of course still taking all precautions to keep him shaded and top ups etc)

1. Shantae and the Seven Sirens
2. Shantae (GBC)
3. Shantae and the Pirate's Curse
4. Shantae: Half Genie Hero
5. Shantae: Risky's Revenge.

This is long so prepare some popcorn. And SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
Let's start from the bottom, Risky's Revenge: This game feels VERY unfinished. The GAME OVER screen is just a slap-on of hot bod of Risky Boots because it was in the original game. The original game had great music in the GAME OVER screen while the camera pans up to Risky's hot bod but in Risky's Revenge, it feels forced. The music is boring as all hell, except for the desert music maybe. The music sometimes fades out to nothing and then restarts the loop (Sounds very amateur and takes me out of the immersion). It's like the devs forgot how to seamlessly loop music. There are only 2 good labyrinths out of 3 and the 2nd one is just an arcade battle and a timer. sigh Disappointed esp. after playing original Shantae. The ending also felt eeehhh... forced. Also, the sound effects sounded very childish to me and very annoying but that's just me.
Half-Genie Hero: Although I somewhat enjoyed this game esp after the long awaited belly dancing, which I love in this game, the game is more Mario-like than Metroid-like, meaning, it's more side-scrolly, and has levels that you complete and then kinda just forget about... kinda, and sometimes forces you into a moving screen which I don't like. Just let me move my Shantae wherever I want. I want her to explore. Music was kinda ehhh in this one too. But the desert theme and the last phase of the last boss theme, I like.
SPOILERS Pirate's Curse: I ABSOLUTELY ENJOYED THIS GAME. The lead up to the pirate master was just phenomenal. Reading the title, "and the Pirate's Curse", oooooo, it just invokes fear. What pirate? Risky? No, can't be her. Someone else. I love the dialogue art, the music was better in this game esp. in the latter part of the game. Music is very important to me. Kinda hard to find a Shantae game that has music that fits areas but this game did a better job (ie. Cackle Tower's music). Pirate Master looks SUPER SIC. (Spelled s-i-c and no k) That's how sic he looks. And the sound effects he makes is so menacing. Me, being male, I obviously enjoyed the dungeon where Shantae and her friends are locked up wearing interesting clothing let's say. I kinda wish though that the music sounded more Egyptian there but it's to be expected since music in most Shantae games don't fit environments well like the Metroid games do. Also, I missed Risky Boots sprite in this game. She doesnt look like a demon like she does in HGH or SS. I have some more nit-picks with the game but the good overwhelm the bad.
Shantae (GBC): This was actually my favorite game until I played Seven Sirens for obvious reasons, but I appreciated the game for what it was. The music was way more memorable to me since even though there were hardware limitations which forced my ears to listen to square waves all game. But because of those hardware limitations, it forced the composer, Jake Kaufman, to get really creative. And he blew a lot of die hard gameboy fans away. I missed the dialogue SOUND EFFECT when you press A or B to advance to the next text of dialogue. It sounded very Egyptian. (Just minor things can make a difference). And thats what I missed about the GBC Shantae. It felt more Egyptian to me. Esp. the music for Scuttle Town. The music is subtle, consistent, and fitting, not mixed in with all sorts of other effects that butcher the theme for me like the sequels do. The Dribble Fountain music is probably my fav song in the entire series because it fits the area well, sounds adventurous and mysterious which is what Seven Sirens brought back. But Dribble Fountain was good because Risky Boots was there and it played her awesome theme which I really miss (although some sequels have it but doesn't sound as cool). But anyway, Dribble Fountain's music sounds so memorable. But she talks to you and whatevs and then she falls down a little tube and it closes up with a purple block. And right when the GUI appears, the first notes of the mysterious music plays at the same time. It sent chills down my spine. And then the bass comes in. Also the Cave music I miss. But Seven Sirens' cave music sounds cooler. This game also is home to most themes that were remixed and butchered in the sequels imho. Also, I miss Risky's look. Red blade, red eyes, pale skin, and hot animation, and also the poses that the characters make while talking. Ahhhhhhh. Now Seven Sirens.
Seven Sirens: This game was hard to put in first esp. after enjoying Pirate's Curse and Shantae GBC (I played the Shantae games in order though but u know what I mean). The Shantae anime-styled animation when you boot up the game was so good. And then the MENU MUSIC WOOOOO!!! The menu music in this game felt so mysterious and it's what I missed from the original Shantae. It filled me with 18,000 spirits of adventure whatever that means. The cave music has it to. And I just stop walking and running and sit in the cave and listen. This is what the Metroid games had and I really love it. I really love the GUI of the menu. Looks like some Kirby games or Smash 64's menu. It has that nostalgic look to it. Even when in-game, when you pause, the screen goes dark-green and that nostalgic menu pops up. It sends chills down my spine if when paused, I'm in a cave with that menu or secret area music playing in the background. Ahhhh. This game plays very close to the original in that it has separate towns with different people to talk to from each town. This game plays way more like Metroid than the other Shantae's despite most of them being listed under Metroidvania. Risky's sprite still looks like a demon but I love her dialogue art. The music can be very reliant on the chiptune which is what I loved about the GBC one, but some of them can sound annoying. But the music was memorable nonetheless. But I really loved the Mossy Biome music, the Half Genie music when you're about to get the Fusion coin. Sounds like the cave music but it sounds so good to my ears and it plays consistenly when you're about to get another fusion coin. And i just stop and stare at the animation of the half genie who's locked in a cage that Shantae has to save while I listen to this music almost non-stop. Also love the Squidsmith theme. Kinda missed the Squidsmith's angry look though from Pirate's Curse before she crushes the squids. And kinda wish the music for when she smashed them was a bit more on the mean side (or sound). Boss music kinda sounds weak though, esp. in the beginning. Even the last boss theme, very forgettable but hey, you can't gave everything ehh?? Wrong. Super Metroid did it and that's what most Shantae games are based off of.
TL;DR - Actually read it. Take breaks if you have to.

The house stood by itself, certainly holding darkness within. I had no doubt that inside, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone, just like any other house.
I knew it was not like any other house. My dead parents would be proud.
Actually, I had no idea whether they’d be proud. Dead things take on a life of their own in our imaginations, and become far more than they ever could have been under different circumstances.
I pulled the jacket tighter. There was no point in trying to be discreet, but I’d rather be the weirdo in an unnecessary trench coat than the weirdo who was trying to hide a weapon.
I made my way around the structure and to the back door without anyone noticing. That wasn’t a good thing. We have a way of paying attention to everything except what’s important.
Grabbing the knob with a gloved hand, I found it to be locked. This was hardly my first time breaking into a house that didn’t want me, though, so I was inside a few seconds later.
I didn’t like how quiet the kitchen was. It felt like a presence, as though it was listening. A stifling flutter of vertigo and nausea tickled me as I waded through it. Turning into the hallway, it got worse, like I was diving underwater too quickly. My head spun.
The sensation emanated from the last room on the left; even without light, sound, or smell, it was overwhelming in the absence of what I should have felt. A sudden hitch pulled in my chest: I really didn’t want to go into the final room of this suffocating house in the middle of the night. I didn’t want to be alone in the dark.
I wished I had someone in my life to disappoint. Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t have gone forward.
And so I found myself slowly stepping around the bedroom door, telling myself that I was ready to face whatever lay on the other side.
I wasn’t ready.
I didn’t learn about demons until I was grown up. While some people can see the demons inside of us, they like to stay hidden.
Not this one. It stood at the far end of the shadowy room, nine feet tall, curly goat’s horns atop the humanoid feline face of a man. Pugilist arms drooped at both sides, hanging to knees supported by cloven feet. Its tail twitched in time to the flicker of its forked tongue.
A little girl, maybe ten years old, trembled beneath her blanket, her skin alabaster white as her large eyes stared at the nightmare incarnate.
Fear chilled my blood. No matter how many times I saw the manifestation of everything vile in my mind, the terror never went away. Fear of death only stops when we’re dead.
The demon dropped its jaw – five inches, eight inches, a foot, even more – to reveal canines that dripped from infected gums to far below its jaw. It lowered its face to the terrified girl. She had nowhere to go: her bed was in the corner, and the bedroom had no windows.
“Stop.”
They both turned to me. I could smell the thing’s breath from across the room; it reeked like rotting fish had been washed using other rotten fish.
I reached into my jacket and grabbed the handle.
Our demon huffed, sending swirlies of exhaled air that threatened to melt the wallpaper. I held my breath and pointed the weapon. The thing saw how much the tip trembled, no matter how I tried to steady my hand. It smiled.
I blinked rapidly.
When it saw that I wasn’t going to move, the goat demon lurched toward me.
It had expected me to step back. When I didn’t do what it wanted, the thing got angrier. It lumbered forward, rising to its full height.
It’s impossible to appreciate just how tall nine feet is until a monster is standing right in front of you with its tongue writhing like a tortured snake. But still, I didn’t move.
Yet it knew I was afraid. The thing could smell it on me, wafting like a freshly opened Octomore whisky that had all the subtlety of a wrecking ball on fire.
I raised the handle higher. The shaky tip of my sword was now just below its chin.
This thing had the power to crush me.
“Run away.”
I peeked around the demon’s hyper-muscular frame to see the girl staring at me, the blanket pulled up to her eyes.
“You’re telling me that I should run away because it knows I’m afraid?”
She nodded, her black hair bobbing furiously.
The demon dropped its impossibly wide jaw and lowered it toward me. I could see straight past its uvula into a pulsing esophagus.
The exit was right behind me.
“I am afraid. Which is precisely why I can’t run.” I dropped the sword to the ground with a clang. Staring up at the monster, I spoke louder. “This demon’s name is Doubt. It lives among us because it will never go hungry in the presence of people.”
Its teeth stopped half an inch from my cheek. I tried not to cry. “This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt.”
It didn’t move. The putrid mouth still was sitting, still was sitting just beside the bedroom door.
And yet I stayed.
It held for a few seconds longer. And then it screamed.
The thing punched a hole in the wall with a single blow that sent shock waves through the air and jolted the girl into a standing position. I wanted to run away, to cry, to do anything but stay in place, but I learned long ago that we’re often strongest in our moments of weakness.
So I waited for Doubt to tire of us, since I knew it couldn’t hurt me as I was.
Finally it subsided, heaving as it stared, content for the moment to lurk in the background so that I would always know of its presence.
The girl, still trapped in the corner of the room, glared back and forth between us. “Who are you?” she asked in a voice just above a whisper.
I had to swallow three times before I was sure I could speak without crying. “My name is Peter,” I responded, “and I’m a demon hunter like my parents before me.”
“How – how do you kill this one?” she asked, teetering on the edge of complete panic.
I raised an eyebrow. “You want to be rid of it entirely?”
She wrapped her arms around a white sleeping gown, looking ghostly, and nodded.
“The only certain cure is dying,” I answered. “Otherwise, he’ll always know how to find you.” I plucked my parents’ sword from the ground. “In the meantime, try letting go of a weapon. Most people don’t know how not to use violence.” I held out my hand, inviting her to escape.
“Is it safe?” she whispered.
“No.”
She glanced at the demon once more.
“Stop staring. It only makes the thing stronger.”
She continued to stare before leaping from the bed and trotting over toward me and slipping on a pair of shoes by the door. “We’re going away, aren’t we?”
I looked down at her. “You know why it’s hunting you?”
She looked back up with big, brown eyes that only seemed innocent on the surface. “They’ve come for the most dangerous weapon in the world.”
The words sent chills down my back. I didn’t need to affirm what we both knew.
“It’s time to leave.”
She turned at my words, and we walked side-by-side down the hallway, putting the room behind us.
We couldn’t put it behind us. I felt the demon’s first step, and I heard the second. Each footfall of ours was met by two more, just behind us.
“Is it following us?” she whispered.
I clenched my fist. “Don’t look back. Whatever you do, don’t look back.”
Hot, wet breath caressed my neck as the hair on the back of my head was graced lightly by what felt like a forked tongue.
“How can we live like this?” she asked. Her cheeks were shiny.
“Well, you never know when life is gonna twist the story like an eager titty.”
We froze. Standing before us in the kitchen was a gray-haired woman in her sixties taking a long drag on a cigarette. The skin around her eyes wrinkled in a way that made me think she’d spent a lifetime laughing at people facing the consequences of what seemed like a good idea at the time.
“Sorry, Sugar. I sometimes forget to watch my fucking mouth when kids are around.”
A million questions raced through my head at the stranger’s presence, but only one reached my lips. “Can you see what’s behind me?”
She looked between the two of us, one eyebrow raised like a skeptical proctologist hearing the same lie a hundredth time.
“So it’s visible to you,” I pressed, my pulse quickening. “Do you know what it is?”
She took another extensive drag on the cigarette, clearly more interested in nicotine than self-preservation. “No, but if I could scrub my clothes on its stomach, I’d never use a washing machine again.”
For the first time since leaving the room, I looked over my shoulder.
It was an inch away. The disgusting pubic stubble on its chin raked my neck.
“Someone is after her,” I explained to the stranger.
“Someone is after you, Peter.”
A shudder went through my bones upon hearing my name. “Why – who the hell are you?”
She took the deepest pull yet on a cigarette that was almost out, closing her eyes before answering. “My name is Patricia Barnes. I like to think of myself as the reciprocation of every testicular-based mistake.”
I shook my head. There was no way I could even attempt to understand what the hell she was saying. “We need to leave. Now.”
The little girl looked up at me. “What’s going to happen?”
The first thing that parents learn is how to lie to their children, and the last thing that children do is learn just how much their parents were lying. That’s the boundary of adulthood, and our only unifying feature is that we’re not ready for it.
“Kid, this is going to suck,” I promised. The demon wormed his tongue into my ear. I ignored it. “What’s your name?”
“Gwen,” she answered. I thought she was going to hold my hand. She didn’t.
“The sun’s about to rise,” I went on. “We need to be gone by then.” I opened the back door once again, and the two of them followed me out. I didn’t check for the demon, because I was looking forward.
“You found me,” I said to Patricia once we were standing in the still night air. “They’ll find us soon.”
She snorted. “You were only looking at what I wanted you to see.”
I turned to her and folded my arms as she lit another cigarette.
“What happened to the last one I was smoking?” she asked through clenched teeth.
I shook my head, ready to turn away from her.
She yanked it from her mouth and blew a long stream into the night air. “I set it down just before crossing the room to turn on the pilot light.”
I opened my mouth to respond.
Then I froze, staring.
“I left it on high, Sugar. You’d better run.”
I grabbed Gwen’s hand and sprinted into the trees behind her house. Patricia was surprisingly fast in her high-heeled boots and long skirt; it was clear that she’d been mentally preparing for this.
We were hiding behind the trees when the explosion sent shock waves through us. I turned back to stare at the wreckage. “Can anyone else see it?” I breathed. “I’ve watched far worse things that no one noticed.”
Before I received an answer, silhouettes moved against the flames. Two men stared up at the crimson night. One paced back and forth, clearly pissed, while the other stood placidly with his arms on his hips.
“God,” I whispered, “they were outside this whole time, waiting for us.” I turned to stare at Patricia, who was recovering from her sprint with closed eyes and another inhalation of cigarette smoke, before looking at Gwen. She seemed so vulnerable, pale almost to the point of glowing in the first gray rays of a dawning sun.
Patricia sighed. “Do you know how many cigarettes I’ve gone through explaining things to men who should have figured out my motivations the 1,913th time I made it obvious?”
I folded my arms. “That’s a random number.”
She coughed. “Not if you put together all the clues. Look, sometimes memories stick better when I slap the listener around a little. Do you need a good smacking?”
“No.”
“Offer’s on the table.” She dropped her cigarette onto the dirt, crushing it beneath her boot as she lit another. Patricia closed her eyes and sighed in contentment. “Are you ready for the truth?”
“No one is.”
She opened her eyes and cackled. “Good boy.” Looking up toward the two shadows, one still pacing, the other statue-still, she pursed her lips. “They’re not going to give up the most dangerous weapon in the world that easily,” she pressed, eyebrows raised.
I looked at her, she looked at me, and I think that we finally understood one another.
“There’s no going back,” she continued, her voice eerily calm. “Peter, this is just the beginning.”
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The house stood by itself, certainly holding darkness within. I had no doubt that inside, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone, just like any other house.
I knew it was not like any other house. My dead parents would be proud.
Actually, I had no idea whether they’d be proud. Dead things take on a life of their own in our imaginations, and become far more than they ever could have been under different circumstances.
I pulled the jacket tighter. There was no point in trying to be discreet, but I’d rather be the weirdo in an unnecessary trench coat than the weirdo who was trying to hide a weapon.
I made my way around the structure and to the back door without anyone noticing. That wasn’t a good thing. We have a way of paying attention to everything except what’s important.
Grabbing the knob with a gloved hand, I found it to be locked. This was hardly my first time breaking into a house that didn’t want me, though, so I was inside a few seconds later.
I didn’t like how quiet the kitchen was. It felt like a presence, as though it was listening. A stifling flutter of vertigo and nausea tickled me as I waded through it. Turning into the hallway, it got worse, like I was diving underwater too quickly. My head spun.
The sensation emanated from the last room on the left; even without light, sound, or smell, it was overwhelming in the absence of what I should have felt. A sudden hitch pulled in my chest: I really didn’t want to go into the final room of this suffocating house in the middle of the night. I didn’t want to be alone in the dark.
I wished I had someone in my life to disappoint. Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t have gone forward.
And so I found myself slowly stepping around the bedroom door, telling myself that I was ready to face whatever lay on the other side.
I wasn’t ready.
I didn’t learn about demons until I was grown up. While some people can see the demons inside of us, they like to stay hidden.
Not this one. It stood at the far end of the shadowy room, nine feet tall, curly goat’s horns atop the humanoid feline face of a man. Pugilist arms drooped at both sides, hanging to knees supported by cloven feet. Its tail twitched in time to the flicker of its forked tongue.
A little girl, maybe ten years old, trembled beneath her blanket, her skin alabaster white as her large eyes stared at the nightmare incarnate.
Fear chilled my blood. No matter how many times I saw the manifestation of everything vile in my mind, the terror never went away. Fear of death only stops when we’re dead.
The demon dropped its jaw – five inches, eight inches, a foot, even more – to reveal canines that dripped from infected gums to far below its jaw. It lowered its face to the terrified girl. She had nowhere to go: her bed was in the corner, and the bedroom had no windows.
“Stop.”
They both turned to me. I could smell the thing’s breath from across the room; it reeked like rotting fish had been washed using other rotten fish.
I reached into my jacket and grabbed the handle.
Our demon huffed, sending swirlies of exhaled air that threatened to melt the wallpaper. I held my breath and pointed the weapon. The thing saw how much the tip trembled, no matter how I tried to steady my hand. It smiled.
I blinked rapidly.
When it saw that I wasn’t going to move, the goat demon lurched toward me.
It had expected me to step back. When I didn’t do what it wanted, the thing got angrier. It lumbered forward, rising to its full height.
It’s impossible to appreciate just how tall nine feet is until a monster is standing right in front of you with its tongue writhing like a tortured snake. But still, I didn’t move.
Yet it knew I was afraid. The thing could smell it on me, wafting like a freshly opened Octomore whisky that had all the subtlety of a wrecking ball on fire.
I raised the handle higher. The shaky tip of my sword was now just below its chin.
This thing had the power to crush me.
“Run away.”
I peeked around the demon’s hyper-muscular frame to see the girl staring at me, the blanket pulled up to her eyes.
“You’re telling me that I should run away because it knows I’m afraid?”
She nodded, her black hair bobbing furiously.
The demon dropped its impossibly wide jaw and lowered it toward me. I could see straight past its uvula into a pulsing esophagus.
The exit was right behind me.
“I am afraid. Which is precisely why I can’t run.” I dropped the sword to the ground with a clang. Staring up at the monster, I spoke louder. “This demon’s name is Doubt. It lives among us because it will never go hungry in the presence of people.”
Its teeth stopped half an inch from my cheek. I tried not to cry. “This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt.”
It didn’t move. The putrid mouth still was sitting, still was sitting just beside the bedroom door.
And yet I stayed.
It held for a few seconds longer. And then it screamed.
The thing punched a hole in the wall with a single blow that sent shock waves through the air and jolted the girl into a standing position. I wanted to run away, to cry, to do anything but stay in place, but I learned long ago that we’re often strongest in our moments of weakness.
So I waited for Doubt to tire of us, since I knew it couldn’t hurt me as I was.
Finally it subsided, heaving as it stared, content for the moment to lurk in the background so that I would always know of its presence.
The girl, still trapped in the corner of the room, glared back and forth between us. “Who are you?” she asked in a voice just above a whisper.
I had to swallow three times before I was sure I could speak without crying. “My name is Peter,” I responded, “and I’m a demon hunter like my parents before me.”
“How – how do you kill this one?” she asked, teetering on the edge of complete panic.
I raised an eyebrow. “You want to be rid of it entirely?”
She wrapped her arms around a white sleeping gown, looking ghostly, and nodded.
“The only certain cure is dying,” I answered. “Otherwise, he’ll always know how to find you.” I plucked my parents’ sword from the ground. “In the meantime, try letting go of a weapon. Most people don’t know how not to use violence.” I held out my hand, inviting her to escape.
“Is it safe?” she whispered.
“No.”
She glanced at the demon once more.
“Stop staring. It only makes the thing stronger.”
She continued to stare before leaping from the bed and trotting over toward me and slipping on a pair of shoes by the door. “We’re going away, aren’t we?”
I looked down at her. “You know why it’s hunting you?”
She looked back up with big, brown eyes that only seemed innocent on the surface. “They’ve come for the most dangerous weapon in the world.”
The words sent chills down my back. I didn’t need to affirm what we both knew.
“It’s time to leave.”
She turned at my words, and we walked side-by-side down the hallway, putting the room behind us.
We couldn’t put it behind us. I felt the demon’s first step, and I heard the second. Each footfall of ours was met by two more, just behind us.
“Is it following us?” she whispered.
I clenched my fist. “Don’t look back. Whatever you do, don’t look back.”
Hot, wet breath caressed my neck as the hair on the back of my head was graced lightly by what felt like a forked tongue.
“How can we live like this?” she asked. Her cheeks were shiny.
“Well, you never know when life is gonna twist the story like an eager titty.”
We froze. Standing before us in the kitchen was a gray-haired woman in her sixties taking a long drag on a cigarette. The skin around her eyes wrinkled in a way that made me think she’d spent a lifetime laughing at people facing the consequences of what seemed like a good idea at the time.
“Sorry, Sugar. I sometimes forget to watch my fucking mouth when kids are around.”
A million questions raced through my head at the stranger’s presence, but only one reached my lips. “Can you see what’s behind me?”
She looked between the two of us, one eyebrow raised like a skeptical proctologist hearing the same lie a hundredth time.
“So it’s visible to you,” I pressed, my pulse quickening. “Do you know what it is?”
She took another extensive drag on the cigarette, clearly more interested in nicotine than self-preservation. “No, but if I could scrub my clothes on its stomach, I’d never use a washing machine again.”
For the first time since leaving the room, I looked over my shoulder.
It was an inch away. The disgusting pubic stubble on its chin raked my neck.
“Someone is after her,” I explained to the stranger.
“Someone is after you, Peter.”
A shudder went through my bones upon hearing my name. “Why – who the hell are you?”
She took the deepest pull yet on a cigarette that was almost out, closing her eyes before answering. “My name is Patricia Barnes. I like to think of myself as the reciprocation of every testicular-based mistake.”
I shook my head. There was no way I could even attempt to understand what the hell she was saying. “We need to leave. Now.”
The little girl looked up at me. “What’s going to happen?”
The first thing that parents learn is how to lie to their children, and the last thing that children do is learn just how much their parents were lying. That’s the boundary of adulthood, and our only unifying feature is that we’re not ready for it.
“Kid, this is going to suck,” I promised. The demon wormed his tongue into my ear. I ignored it. “What’s your name?”
“Gwen,” she answered. I thought she was going to hold my hand. She didn’t.
“The sun’s about to rise,” I went on. “We need to be gone by then.” I opened the back door once again, and the two of them followed me out. I didn’t check for the demon, because I was looking forward.
“You found me,” I said to Patricia once we were standing in the still night air. “They’ll find us soon.”
She snorted. “You were only looking at what I wanted you to see.”
I turned to her and folded my arms as she lit another cigarette.
“What happened to the last one I was smoking?” she asked through clenched teeth.
I shook my head, ready to turn away from her.
She yanked it from her mouth and blew a long stream into the night air. “I set it down just before crossing the room to turn on the pilot light.”
I opened my mouth to respond.
Then I froze, staring.
“I left it on high, Sugar. You’d better run.”
I grabbed Gwen’s hand and sprinted into the trees behind her house. Patricia was surprisingly fast in her high-heeled boots and long skirt; it was clear that she’d been mentally preparing for this.
We were hiding behind the trees when the explosion sent shock waves through us. I turned back to stare at the wreckage. “Can anyone else see it?” I breathed. “I’ve watched far worse things that no one noticed.”
Before I received an answer, silhouettes moved against the flames. Two men stared up at the crimson night. One paced back and forth, clearly pissed, while the other stood placidly with his arms on his hips.
“God,” I whispered, “they were outside this whole time, waiting for us.” I turned to stare at Patricia, who was recovering from her sprint with closed eyes and another inhalation of cigarette smoke, before looking at Gwen. She seemed so vulnerable, pale almost to the point of glowing in the first gray rays of a dawning sun.
Patricia sighed. “Do you know how many cigarettes I’ve gone through explaining things to men who should have figured out my motivations the 1,913th time I made it obvious?”
I folded my arms. “That’s a random number.”
She coughed. “Not if you put together all the clues. Look, sometimes memories stick better when I slap the listener around a little. Do you need a good smacking?”
“No.”
“Offer’s on the table.” She dropped her cigarette onto the dirt, crushing it beneath her boot as she lit another. Patricia closed her eyes and sighed in contentment. “Are you ready for the truth?”
“No one is.”
She opened her eyes and cackled. “Good boy.” Looking up toward the two shadows, one still pacing, the other statue-still, she pursed her lips. “They’re not going to give up the most dangerous weapon in the world that easily,” she pressed, eyebrows raised.
I looked at her, she looked at me, and I think that we finally understood one another.
“There’s no going back,” she continued, her voice eerily calm. “Peter, this is just the beginning.”

It buggles me to no end that humans are so advanced in their scientific endeavors.
No, I don't mean their fondness for explosive and kinetic weaponry and propulsion yielding such incredible variations and applications. This was a trait shared by a few hundred species, humans and Pedropascalins most noticeably.
Nor do I mean their understandings of their physiology itself being so wide reaching that they've managed to find a home in most every star system they've crossed. Humans are a generalist species with the capacity to develop specification throw simple exercise and training. Neophenism aside, this was a very common occurrence in many generalist species, again humans included, but just after Alecbalduins.
No, what surprises me most is humans' ability to align their scientific understanding with their creative imagination and somehow piece their way through understanding the universe.
My own species, the Etrectonoans, are no slouches in the scientific endeavors.
But we pale in the face of humanity's ability to look at the stars and realize they're not seeing everything before them.
Spectrometry. The use of light and sometimes fire or even plasma itself to figure out the composition of a planet they have not yet even seen the surface of.
The humans did this to my own planet Etrectono. As human scientist Emil said to me, "We saw your planet pass over your star and observed the way the light was distorted through your atmosphere. Using our understanding of atmospheric composition and its effects on light, we realized you had an atmosphere not dissimilar to Earth's."
And they were right. The oxygen and nitrogen percentages were a near enough match that I could smell home on Earth when I first arrived there.
You must understand, this is something my people never thought possible. When we questioned whether an atmosphere would be breathable or not, we spent centuries perfecting drones that could leave our atmosphere, survive the hell that is space travel, and enter another atmsophere in a good enough condition to acquire an atmospheric sample and return it to our planet for careful examination.
Humans? They looked at the very light itself.
The scientific field my people were a century from perfecting, or as near perfect as any science can truly get, and humans had figured it out before they'd set foot on their own satellite.
And then their understanding of the elements themselves. One human made a mad effort to finally put into a coherent display the very foundations of matter itself. And even by the standards of the Etrectonoans who'd achieved star traversal on several hotly disputed models of the elements, his model was as solid as the chair I find myself siting in as I wrote this.
And what's worse, there are so many ideas and fields within human science that frighten me not in their intelligence or understanding, but by how far across the cosmos so many separate species came to the same or similar answers.
Panspermia? Humans and Draksanz.
Dyson spheres? Humans, Unopans and Daxamites.
The potential for infinite multiverses to exist and the larger and smaller infinites in-between? Humans and Amphitrites.
But among the many species, no other species ever had more than 1 scientific break through so vast shared with another. No species, except humans. Every breakthrough and scientific law and theory they had in their infancy, was the latest and greatest from the minds of species that had been traversing the stars for eons when humanity today was just entering their second decade.
And humans, with the violence and shortlives, self destructive thrill seeking and desire to domesticate everything "friendshaped"... they fit in amongst us as if they weren't a collective of mad geniuses set loose amidst the stars.