Flirty chain text messages

TLDR: guy tricked me into going to a birthday dinner as his date then left me at the table, should I say something? Or am I overreacting?
Need to know how or if I even should address a situation that happened to me yesterday. This could be a really long story but bear with me. So a guy that I am only friends with and have only met a few times out (with other friends) invited me to a dinner at a restaurant I go to frequently, made it seem like it was a casual dinner did not invite me on a date.
For context, I have gone to dinner with this guy with other people and other friends and it’s been super casual and there’s nothing going on between us so I thought this was going to be the same type of thing. Turns out he was actually bringing me to his close friends birthday dinner and it was all couples. Mind you I don’t even have this man’s number in my phone. We do not text or talk.
I went along with it because whatever and everything was normal and fine throughout dinner. Then after dinner he starts getting mad at me because I won’t do shots with him. Even after that he starts getting very touchy-feely flirting with me which again is fine. I’m not naïve. I know he thinks I’m attractive or else why would he ever invite me out for anything but this is the first time he’s been overtly touchy and
At one point he ends up leaving the table because he sees someone at the bar that he knows and he leaves me with his friends - says he will be right back. He’s gone when they are doing the split of the bill and his friends are like “make sure that he accepts the Venmo when you guys get home” and I look at them confused because I’m like wait I’m not dating this guy???? Why would I be with him at his house later?? I even said I don’t even have his phone number… and they’re all looking at me confused…. So I clarify that we met a few months ago we’re friends to an extent that we hangout at bars sometimes with other friends but we are not together…so now I’m uncomfortable because these friends either think I’m like a hooker who he met and just brought to his dinner or that I’m lying because he must’ve told them something else.
At this point it’s been over 15 minutes since he left the table and he has not come back from the bar so they were getting up to go meet him over there and I had no interest so I just left.
He has not messaged me since I left, nothing, he didn’t even ask where I went when I didn’t show up with his friends. I don’t even think I’m going to address the situation with him because I don’t care I am not interested in him like that..He now put me in a bad position in front of people I don’t know but we all live in the same area
Also am I overreacting or do people agree that’s weird of him to do? Trust me I am not naïve about situations like this I know men typically only spend money on women they want to hookup with but I’ve been out with this same guy multiple times where it’s very casual. And to be honest if he had told me it was a birthday dinner and asked me to be his date I probably would have said yes??? I just don’t fuck with the deception part

please do not try to start a conversation in the comments section
Me: - Never married, no kids - Masters degree and a good career - Loves sports, traveling and home projects!
You: - fun - flirty - able to take care of yourself - genuine - open to exploring a long term connection
Other Interests:

• concerts -comedy
• science -gardening
• reading, movies and tv
• trivia
• history
• birding

Looking for:
Long term connection with someone who keeps in touch regularly and can function successfully in a normal society. INTJ.
I prefer direct chats over direct messages.

Hi, guys! I'm back. I've just finished reading Starset's new novel, A Brief History of the Future, and i really needed to share it.
Some of you may know me from my previous posts on the Starset lore:

• In "The Starset lore Part I: Transmissions", I covered the events told in The Prox Transmissions (Starset's first novel) and linked them to the album Transmissions.
• In "The Starset lore Part II: DivisionsThe Starset lore Part II: Divisions", I tried to gather the information we had on the new storyline, mainly based on Divisions content (Horizons hadn't released yet by then) and I shared my speculations about its meaning.

Now that I've read this book, I want to sum up what we have now. Keep in mind that, for obvious reasons, this post is all spoiler content. If you plan to read the book(s) I encourage you to do so, because I'm unveiling some of the main "plot-twists" in the second book. I won't be writing a literal summary of the book's plot (I will focus on the content more than in the "drama" -in fact, I will start at the end), but key elements of it will appear. Also, I'm taking for granted you are already familiar with the contents in The Prox Transmissions -if not, I recommend you reading my post or just dropping this post altogether and go read the book!
If you have already read the books, don't plan to read them or don't care about the spoilers, stay with me along this long post because you will discover much about Divisions, Horizons... and what's coming next!!
Let's go then!
In a unknown year the novel starts in a world dominated by a state called the New East. it's not explicit in the book, but we have reasons to identify the New East with China: it is a current superpower and the powerful people in control have Chinese names. This state is governed by a Governing Committee, composed by Ministers that stay in charge for 5 years, with an exception: the Minister of Security, also known as MinSec. He is the head of the New East's secret police and he is to remain in charge for life.
Prior to 2024, Aston Wise (remember he was one of the protagonists of the previous novel!) is locked up by the US Government. They force him to create the BMI and its Architecture. In 2024, as I have said, the New East manages to obtain it and the big war starts. This part of the story is also explained deeper in a video (called "Initial Debriefing", available in Starset's YouTube channel since September 9th, 2021), with some minor incongruencies:

In the year 2010, the US Defense Advance Research Projects Agency -or DARPA- began work on a neural link system known as the "Brain Machine Interface" developed under the highest levels of secrecy. This technology was to be used in covert espionage campaigns with the goal of giving the US a major advantage in the ever-growing cyber warfare battlefield. The intention was to use the "BMI" on unsuspecting foreign agents, giving US Intelligence a remote line into their minds. Launched in 2020 to great success, the BMI provided a window into the intentions and secrets of numerous potential adversaries. Then, in 2021, a botched operation allowed this technology to fall into the hands of an undisclosed state who would then use it agains the US itself for over a decade. This state -which came to be known as the New East- used this technology to syphon intellectual property and assert control over the US, allowing it to rise swiftly as a global superpower. In the early 2030s, the crippled US launched an attack to the New East. This was quickly thwarted. However, as the New East was fully aware and prepared, in the end, the US and its allies capitulated and became known simply as the New West. Citizens of the New West, now mostly impoverished laborers, were offered BMI implantation -sold on the wonders of its amazing benefits. Eventually though, all were made to comply. Only then did the true goals of the New East become apparent.

The New West is a de facto and de iure protectorate. The New West has its own local police -that dealt with murder and robbery-, but the military and, most important, the Civil Authorities (CA), are controlled by MinSec -focused on thought crime.
Soon after the end of the war, some people were drafted for the reclamation in Virginia by the New East army. This was a forced-labor suicide mission because it was a fallout zone. The goal was the recovery of documents from the US, such as blueprints for advanced weapons and intel. Those who survived, developed NeuroTIDS (neural tissue interface degeneration syndrome) because of the radiation.
Once in control of the US (now New West), the New East implanted into all citizens the BMI. Now, people deal with three layers of reality: unaltered reality (UR), augmented reality (AR) and virtual reality (VR). Considering the BMI, there are three states:

• BMI glowing white (normal state: people are in UR with elements of AR).
• BMI glowing blue (also called frosting: people are in VR having some pleasant experience, while looking absent and apathetic in the outside). See an example of person frosting in the Diving Bell music video.
• BMI glowing red (also called supplication).

(There also exists the Everything Machine in this storyline. Indeed, people ate only printed food, as real food as reserved for the New East).
On top of this, there’s an intelligent algorythm or artificial intelligence in the Architecture, called the Overseer. It is capable of detecting thought crimes by accessing a person's sensory input and also altering their perceptions (for example, blurring texts from banned books). When a thought crime is detected, CAs intervene and turn the perpetrator into a supplicant. Supplicants are stuck in VR prisons while their bodies wander in the streets or are collected and put into "corrals". See an example of a supplication facility in Where the Skies Ends music video.
The protectorate of the New East upon the New West is mantained thanks to the Quantum Comunicator, which keeps both connected and also connected to the Architecture
On the other hand, there's a rebel network still in function. They manage to meet and develop their plans by modding their BMIs, so that they become undetectable under the eyes of the Overseer. Their plan is to trap the MinSec and use their credentials to get access to the Architecture and destroy it from the inside.
(In Manifest music video you can see examples of people frosting, people supplicated, the modding minor surgery, the rebels, the CAs using their "freezing" weapons and supplicating civilians and a bigwig from the New East, maybe the MinSec himself).
Also, it is said that the New East didn't manage to conquer all the Old West (US) territories. There's rumours about the socalled Western Territories, free land where some former rebels already live, though its real existence it's in never confirmed in book. In The Breach music video we can see how a family leaving in the New West takes the opportunity of escaping into the Western Territories during some sort of shutdown.
The New West capital is established in Philadelphia, where the events in A Brief History of the Future are set. Here's the Quantum Communication Center and the New West Center for Advanced Innovation (CAI), where the most brilliant programming students are sent to develop their skills and work for the New West/East. One of this students is one of the protagonists of this book, Thomas Bell (again, someone whose name we are already familiar...), who quickly proves to be the best one and gets to be chosen as the Director's assistant. Eventually we get to discover the Director is Aston Wise and later on we find out he is the Architect himself.
A feature or app of the BMI that will reveal crucial to the plot is the Shadowcast: one can frost but, instead of being conscious in a VR, "enters" inside a celebrity's mind for an hour and experiences all they are experiencing live (the user is passive and can only perceive, but not intervene or influence the shadowcast celebrity into doing anything). You can see an example of this in Symbiotic music video, where the user is finally able to successfully Occupy the body of the celebrity. In the book, when this happens, the person occupied has their BMI turned purple.
In the book, Occupation will be a tool used by Bell and Wise, but also by the government, in an attempt of using the supplicated bodies to their own purposes. The original project launched by the New East and commissioned to the Director of the CAI (Aston Wise), was called by Wise himself 'Project X'. New East wanted to present it to the citizens as a way of emancipating from work: while working, you can let yourself be occupied by the Overseer, who wil perform your job while you can be having fun in VR. In Icarus music video you can see an ad made by the New East to promote the "benefits" of this technology (called Werk here); the other ads are based on previous BMI technology (AR, VR and Shadowcast). (Fun fact: have you noticed that the actor in 3:12 is the same from the Ricochet music video?).
As I said in the beginning, it is not my goal to sum up the book's plot and even though I have already spoiled you much info and some plot-twists, I'm not telling you here how the story of the protagonists develops and how it ends. However, I can't refrain from telling you this: the last page of the book has a QR that redirects to a video that has me really excited.
In the video, we see a man. He tells us it is 2048. In spring 2026, the New East took over the US. But... guess who's back! Oh, yes, the Order! Or rather they were there all along. In fact, the man who's talking to us is Stephen Browning! On July 4th of 2026, after the New East invasion, the Order tried to launch a spacerocket to get to "a lonely planet" (Prox!), but it was intercepted by the New East and then the army destroyed their base, so they lost all hope in a future on another planet. However, they managed to hide a "time mechanism" (I guess the same they had in The Prox Transmissions) and, finally, sent a message to 2024, warning us about this future that awaits us. Then he sais:

Dear Order friends, the time has finally arrived. We're headed to space. We're going go Prox.

This announcement matches Starset's video from six months ago ("It begins. And it ends. Now."), where we see images of astronauts and spacerockets, evoking space travel. Wow! Did you miss that "space-y" aesthetic, plots and sound from Transmissions and Vessels? Because it sounds like we're getting them back! Note that at the end of this video, the three dots of the BMI are occupied by three symbols:

• The bottom one is the symbol of the Order, appears at the beginning of each chapter in The Prox Transmissions.
• The middle one is the symbol of Divisions album, I'd say it's a symbol of the rebels.
• The top one is... unknown? It is quite similar to me to the symbol in Faultline, but I guess it represents the "following chapter"? Who knows.

It also matches the music video for Starset's last single, Brave New Word! And there's more news: the end of the video linked in A Brief History Of the Future ends with a "to be continued in Spring 2025".
So... Again, there are some questions left unanswered (and I love that!): How are both books linked? Are they the same Aston Wise and Thomas Bell, but in an alternative timeline? From where will the story continue? (The Order in 2048 colonising Prox?). I'm soooo excited to learn what's coming next and to listen Starset's next album (I love Brave New World).
Let me know about your impressions, opinions, theories... feel free to add any info I could have missed, to correct any piece I could be mistaken about, etc. Thank you so much for your attention (I literally created this account only to write these Starset lore posts I feel very invested to and English isn't even my first or second language), I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful!!

please do not try to start a conversation in the comments section
Me: - Never married, no kids - Masters degree and a good career - Loves sports, traveling and home projects!
You: - fun - flirty - able to take care of yourself - genuine - open to exploring a long term connection
Other Interests:

• concerts -comedy
• science -gardening
• reading, movies and tv
• trivia
• history
• birding

Looking for:
Long term connection with someone who keeps in touch regularly and can function successfully in a normal society. INTJ.
I prefer direct chats over direct messages.

Basically she’s doing the, you can’t leave my house until you kiss me, thing and forces my kid to kiss her before he leaves he’s 7. I guess she thinks it’s cute but she’s literally teaching him that his physical boundaries aren’t important or valid and that it’s okay to touch people when they don’t like it and don’t consent to it. It’s what rapists do, or in this case what pedos do. I didn’t actually see it happen last time he saw my mom. We live close enough for him to walk with no issue, so when he got back home I asked him if she did that and he described the “goodbye” to me.
There’s other terrible things she’s done. I refuse to be in her presence unless I’m forced I want to go no contact asap, but she’s fine to see my kid if she doesn’t touch him and doesn’t discuss her emotional code finger testing “fortune telling(that’s another post and it’s own headache)”. I’m really pissed that she’s trying to pass off her pedophelia onto my son, and I need some help wording a text message to her to restate. Yet again. Our boundaries. I just woke up and I can’t get this evil sour taste out of my mouth, so sorry if this is all over the place.

so, like i said we were online friends…he slowly started texting less and less, i confronted this behavior and he blamed his depression and chaotic life being the reason…
eventually, he just stop texting mid convo…i sent him message after message asking about him and no reply. eventually this fucked me up really badly, i slightly thought of suicide and cried a LOT…check my previous posts i was FKED up my entire days use to be ruined when i assumed he might be gone forever…
just yesterday, i finally realized how he did not bother me anymore…basically, i realized i healed…now…he’s back…he just simply said he wants to know how i am doing…
any advice? should i text him back, ignore him, ask for clarification?? im so perplexed now…kind of wish he didn’t come back at all…

(TL;DR - I run a module written by a DM from another group, it goes off the rails, I allow it, we have fun, and the other DM completely loses their shit on me when they hear about it a few years later.)
This one is hopefully going to be fun, the original event happened a number of years ago, and the end of the event is fairly recent, so a lot of the earlier details are a little bit fuzzy but I can definitely relate the story.
Back in my game store days, I was the DM of one of two consistent Dungeons & Dragons groups at my LGS. The other DM and I really weren't friends, and I can't say we even actually liked each other, but we had a mutual respect and we had a few common players in our respective games.
One day the other DM approached me with a folder of papers. He said he had written a module that he was thinking of publishing and he wanted to have other DMs run the game with a few different groups at the same time so that he can have usable feedback. I told him I would read it and then I would try running it with my group.
It wasn't bad. Not exactly the best writing, there were some small spelling and grammar mistakes, but not anything incomprehensible. The plot basically involves a corrupt treasurer of a merchant guild blackmailing the player characters into doing a long series of side quests because he could very easily frame them for an event they witness.
The thing about this was that the writer spent a considerable amount of effort in writing contingencies so that the villain in the story could not be killed too early because it would ultimately result in the players getting framed for the event anyway. Kind of heavy-handed railroading, but I would give it a shot.
The corrupt merchant guild treasurer was Harvey. He was a smarthy middle-aged half-elf with what was described as a "manipulative personality"; None of that is actually relevant to the story.
My players decided that instead of trying to investigate the potential murder of another merchant guild office holder, they were going to try to loot Harvey's office before meeting him.
While the players are looting, Harvey walks back into his office after paying for the hit on the other office holder, one of the party members panics and wins the initiative before Harvey can even speak. Two natural 20s later, Harvey is dead.
Well shit.
The thing is, the way the module was written, every opportunity the players would have to kill him early, there would be witnesses and contingencies. This particular event did not, and wasn't exactly planned for in the original writing. When the players characters search him, and find out who he is, the players collectively panic and try to find a way to get out of the situation without having the whole town after them.
So after about 30 minutes of in and out of character discussion among the players, they eventually came to an agreement...
They were going to try to keep up a charade where everybody in town thought Harvey was still alive and that they were his best friends looking out for him enough for the events of the story to resolve themselves.
"Hold on, you guys are going to actually try to do a Weekend at Bernie's on this?"
"Well, what other options do we have? We are in big trouble otherwise! "
Every single time something like this happens, I am famous for saying four very specific words…
"Okay, roll for it."
Potentially 15 sessions worth of dark political conspiracy then proceeded to turn into 22 sessions of black comedy gold.
Finally at the end, one of the other merchant guild office holders storms into Harvey's office while the players characters are in the next room trying to explain to a town guard that the reason Harvey is slumped in his chair is because he's drunk. In full view of the party and the guard through an open dividing wall, the other merchant proceeds to start stabbing Harvey multiple times. The other merchant guild member is promptly arrested for Harvey's murder, and the players are praised for being true friends to Harvey and the town, and are invited to his funeral.
The hilarious thing is that this end result was in fact one of the possible endings that the original author had written into the module (merchant guild member murders Harvey and frees the PCs of the blackmail). My players just had a really messed up way of getting there though.
I went back to the other DM, handed him back the folder, told him that the players loved it, we took a few liberties, but they ended up getting what he called "Ending C" in the DM notes. He asked me for constructive criticism, and I gave him the pretty basic stuff but also mentioned a couple extra contingencies to try to keep the plot from being too inflexible.
We didn't talk about this for a few years, then I bumped into his game group when I came back in to browse the scene at my LGS a couple of weeks ago. DM greeted me and explained that the group was playing the revised version of his module for the fourth time with different characters, trying to get each of the different endings. While we were talking I ended up letting it slip just how off the rails that module got when I ran it.
I didn't think it was a big deal, But that DM proceeded to get fairly angry and offended. He asked me specifically what happened and I explained that they rather accidentally killed Harvey at the very beginning of the module and pretended he was still alive for 22 sessions just so that they would not get arrested. Two of the players at the table started to laugh hysterically, one of the players looked genuinely horrified and the DM got pissed and raised his voice.
"YOU ACTUALLY LET THEM DO THAT!? THAT'S NOT HOW THE TONE OF THE STORY IS SUPPOSED TO GO!"
I tried telling him it wasn't a big deal, told him it was just a game and that the players had a blast, but he wasn't having any of it. He told me if I was going to "defile" his writing, I should at least keep the tone consistent with the original work and tell him when it happens. I apologized, but he demanded that I leave the room. I just turned and left.
Over the ensuing week I heard from a couple of different people that this guy was cursing my name left and right and how in someway I betrayed his trust by letting the game get that way. Worst yet he somehow found my number so that he could bombard me with angry text messages about the subject. Tried to text him an apology and an explanation, but I'm pretty sure he blocked me. Haven't talked to him since.
I understand that it was his brainbaby of sorts, but I can't help but feel like this is a complete overreaction. Not to mention he clearly had it edited such that he was happy enough to run it four times and was satisfied with it. I wouldn't personally hold this kind of thing against anybody that did this very thing with one of my games. What do you guys think?

Please be kind, I feel a bit delusioned because I crushed heavily on my male coworker.
We started at this facility around September and always chatted about work stuff. We worked at the same previous facility but didn't cross paths because he went to higher acuity by the time I started. Because we knew all of the same people, we went down a rabbit hole talking about them and drawing on similar experiences during our orientation. It always struck me how observant and perceptive he was. Kinda scary his opinions on people always aligned with mine but we sadly didn't talk enough to open up about personal lives. He seems like a very respectful dude.
By the time I developed a proper crush on him, our orientation ended so I went to nights and he stayed on days. I decided to let it happen naturally even though we barely saw each other at this point. I casually brought up an upcoming, major union meeting. He told me "I'll go with you if you want. I have your number, I'll text you. We can figure out a time that works with days/nights." This was a month out from the meeting. A few days before the meeting I followed up with him through text and he sounded dodgy. I was super bummed. He said he needed to get an oil change so maybe the 4 pm hopefully. It didn't sound concrete so I backed off and said "no worries, I'll just go to the 8 am."
In person, he never mentioned the union meeting or our text messages. But he was cordial and always said hi. I took report from him around this time on a patient and his phone rang during the midst of it. He picked up and answered to them "I don't know. I'm at work rn." He sounded curt. He went right back into report without saying excuse me or anything. His phone rang another two times during report and he silenced them. I had a strong feeling this was a girlfriend or someone he was dating. Days later, one of my close coworkers told me he mentioned his "girl" in a casual conversation. He never once disclosed about a girlfriend to me but we had more rapport from working together than he did with this other coworker. So I wonder if he knew I had a crush or peeped him, got serious with someone in that short time, and then felt awkward talking about it in front of me?
It's been two ish months since that happened. He's been respectful.
I recently had my hair done (a noticeably different color job), and all of my male coworkers (whether taken or single) told me it looked nice in a platonic way. He strangely was the only one who didn't. Even RTs who barely knew me stopped to tell me the new hair looked good. I wonder if he avoided it or wanted to stay professional because he knew he gave me the wrong idea before or maybe he at one point did notice me?
Then just recently, he gave me report on a spiraling patient. Change of shift was a bit chaotic but I told him I got it from here. He texted me later around 10 pm (no text between us since the union meeting exchange)
"Sorry for bothering you hope you're not bubsy but I was just asking if *patient info* is okay, I been stressing since I left lmao"
me: Aww don't stress, she's doing fine and her family spent some time. She's sleeping quite deely now. You did most of the heavy lifting
coworker: Okay good thank you! It's a team effort
me: no worries, get rest!
That was the end of it. I figured he would never text me or give me any reason to wonder after the union meeting incident. I imagine he felt bad for not following through with offering to go. I know he still kept it professional in these texts and it wasn't anything suggestive.
I spoke to all of my close friends, some of them male/female couples and they said the relationship he has is still young and that he may have once noticed me but didn't act on it. They said, for my own benefit, it wouldn't hurt to talk to him and just tell him something along the lines of "hey, I really like you but I know you're with someone. If you're ever available, we could get to know each other more." I feel like this is crazy and would make him uncomfortable. Plus he doesn't seem like the type of guy to disrespect his partner. They said if I really like him and think we're compatible this might be the only time frame to get away with this because he just got into a relationship.. otherwise it'll be too late. I don't know how to squash this crush. I haven't liked someone in this long. I don't have a problem landing dates or meeting people but they all seem so lame compared to him.
Asking fellow nurses because maybe normal subreddits wouldn't understand the details about work.
FYI, I don't care for the "don't shit where you eat mentality" I see plenty of nurses working out and in 5 years, I've worked at 4 different facilities. I never stay at one place over a year and a half.

Okay I'm going to play a game here. Since I claimed on the title I could write a whole post in 10 minutes then I'm going to set a timer and see how much I can get in here before it goes off. No cheating!
3, 2, 1 LET'S GO! 😤
I'll start off with saying who and what I'm looking for. A nice cute person regardless gender and near my age, location strictly from Europe because of convenience in travelling and so on plus I like my sleeping schedule and any dramatic time difference would make it impossible. Long-term, monogamous kind of thing and I'm fine with LDR for now and open to relocating wherever or to each other in the FAR future because delusion gives us confidence and confidence helps us actually achieve things (messed up but it works). But until then I'm good with travelling and spending time together both online and offline with whatever ways work out for us (texting, calls, mutual vacations). I don't have kids but would like 1 in the future when things are solid in life although I don't believe in marr1age traditions and formalities. I'm religious but on a very personal level so let's keep this part to ourselves and respect each others beliefs.
(Paused the timer to fix typos cause fast typing results in a hella lot of mistakes.. THIS IS NOT CONSIDERED CHEATING OKAY?)
A little bit about me: I'm going back to college next year for my second degree so my life is already tied down for these upcoming 4 years but hopefully I'll catch up on life with travels and fun adventures both abroad and within my little country (want to guess?). I have some nerdy hobbies such as reading and writing, collecting comics, thrift shopping old furniture and bring them back to life with DIY projects and general recycling of whatever can have a second chance instead of becoming trash. To make this even more basic I'll mention cooking/eating, growing own veggies and raising animals, love exercise but mostly hiking/swimming/handball, music, series, movies and anime. I'm more introverted than extro but I don't lack the social skills - I just prefer to spend more time alone than with others. I have few good friends and I met few more online that I absolutely appreciate and yes I met them on reddit with my old acc so obviously I have some hopes for this sub too..
Uh.. The timer set off.. Too soon. What kind of 10 minutes was that? I barely said any of the things I wanted to say.. Well this is starting great. Already made a fool of myself. 😅 Well I tried. I did think of fixing the title so nobody will ever know what happened here and just keep typing since I'm already in that chatter mood but nah I'll leave it here.
I can definitely set the timer again and write for another 10 (or 5..) minutes for anyone who wants to do the same and send each other some weird but awesome messages if we happen to share the same stupidity and excitement. Forget a lover, if I happen to make a new fr1end out of this then it's all good!
So... is anyone going to set their own timer and write this random idiot a message? We have a bunch of things to say, introduce ourselves and find that common ground to start building something fun out of it. See you soon? 👀

I had to build a simple Node.js application, I asked Claude Opus, GPT-4o, and GPT-4 to build it. I used the same exact prompt for all three.
Background Info:
I design websites for clients, and lately I've been feeding the entire text copy of sites into LLM's for new copy inspiration and to give LLM's an idea of what the business is about (to do things like sitemap optimization and creating new information architecture).
But, it's a time-consuming process to manually go in and update all the information. I decided to see if Claude 3, GPT-4, and GPT-4o could build a simple node.js app that would take in a sitemap and then create a full transcript of all of a website's copy, which I could then copy-and-paste into GPT or Claude.
The Prompt I Used:

I'm a web designer working on redesigning several sites for my clients. I need to generate a full text transcript of all the H2's and paragraphs used on their existing sites, but it is time-consuming to manually visit each page and copy + paste the content. Please build me a node.js app that will scrape the entire sitemap of a website, and then extract headings and paragraphs of each page, and then compile it all in one text document. The sitemap will be located on the /sitemap.xml page. On the results page, you should list the entire content in the left hand column and then have a button that says "Copy App" which will copy all the results into the clipboard. Include all H2's and Paragraphs from each page you crawl in the final transcript. Thanks!

The Results:

Model	Result	Did it fix its code when fed the error message?
Claude 3 Opus	Failed, code did not work.	No, despite being fed the console error numerous times.
GPT-4o	Failed, code did not work.	No, despite being fed the console error numerous times.
GPT-4	Succeeded from the first attempt.	-

Discussion:
Despite trying to nudge both Claude 3 Opus and GPT-4o in the right direction by telling it what was going wrong, both did not fix their errors and instead introduced more errors.
GPT-4 was the only model that got everything right from the first-go *and* made some changes to the code base successfully when I asked it to (I wanted it to exclude all blogs from the final transcript).
I really hope that they do not remove GPT-4 and force GPT-4o on us.
I also used Claude 3 Opus when it first came out and I swear they did something to it to make it worse. I remember it being much more competent at code. I built an entire template showcase marketplace for a popular website builder platform with Claude 3 Opus when it first came out.
Curious to hear what your experiences are.

Sorry this is long. T and I (18f). S (18mtf).
Backstory:
So I have these two “friends”. Or Had or whatever. I met one back in middle school and the other 1-2 years ago my junior year of high school after I had switched to an alternative school from my regular school. Things were pretty good. I didn’t talk much to the girl I knew since middle school (let’s call her S) because we were in different classes and we havent really spoken since middle school but we were friendly. Whenever we saw each other in the hall or at lunch we would say hi or whatever. The other girl (lets call her T) I talked to the most out of everyone. I was with her pretty much every day during school. I am not the type of person to answer text messages or phone calls or hang out outside of school/work which I guess has always been a problem. For her not for me. Maybe it’s the aquarius in me that wants to be left alone 90% of the time lol. I would hang out with her outside of school sometimes because I wasn’t working much other than a part time job a couple hours after school so I had a little time.
On to the story:
I graduated back in September. T and S got a lot closer after I graduated. I started working full time and didn’t have time or desire to go out whenever anymore. I also really didn’t want to hang out with her either for lots of reasons but mostly because she just was worried about different things. I wanted to graduate as quickly as possible so I can start working full time until I could start EMT school. She was worried about whatever girl she was fighting that week and her ex boyfriends or whatever. And a bunch of other things that annoyed me about her. I didn’t care and I wasn’t worried about those kinds of things anymore. So we didn’t really talk much anymore. She would text me A LOT. I would answer once in a while. It went on like that for months. Last week I had texted her that maybe we could got out to an 18+ club on Friday since she had been wanting to go out. Club’s don’t seem like my type of seem but she likes parties so I figured i’d go and try it out since we just turned 18. S was going to come along as well. Then last Thursday was when things blew up I guess. It was about 11 PM and a show I watch every Thursday at 10 just ended and I was taking a shower to go to sleep because I was tired. Then T and S start blowing me up i’m talking 3-4 phone calls from each of them. I didn’t answer at first because I was going to sleep. Then S texted me talking about she and T got into an argument and T sped off and she heard a crash from her house and thinks she got into a car accident. So I called T. She didn’t answer the first two times. I figured she was talking to an officer or something. The third time she answered and I heard sirens in the background and she told me she got into an accident. I asked if she was okay told her to drop her location and told her I was coming to pick her up and take her home because it was 11:30 at night and the part of town where they stay isn’t exactly the safest. When I got there I didn’t see her and started to call her. She wasn’t answering. I didn’t see any police cars or any crashed cars and I called her maybe 4 times and she wasn’t answering and she had turned off her location and I was just driving around aimlessly and stupidly. So at this point I was thinking this was a set up and I was annoyed and started heading back to my house. Right as I was leaving she finally called me back and said the police cars and tow truck already left and she was waiting for me at their neighborhood park. I told her I just drove past there and I didn’t see her and she said she was walking around looking for me. I was annoyed still and just told her to go back to the park and meet me there. So I finally get to the park and call her. She says she’s sitting on the baby swing and her leg is stuck and wants me to go get her. (I didn’t think this was weird because T is like insanely skinny so she usually fits in baby swings no problem.) I told her no because I was already annoyed and really didn’t want to get out of the car in the part of town we were in and said just pull your leg out and get in the car. She said she can’t and insisted she really was stuck so I got out of the car to help her. As I walked into the park all of a sudden both T and S jumped out the corner at me. Obviously it scared me since it was already at this point midnight and again the part of town we were in. At this point I was mad and just walked away from them got into my car and drove off. They tried to ask me to take S home but I just left. The next morning (the day we were supposed to go to the club) T texted me and asked if we were still going to the club that night. I told her no I didn’t want to go anywhere with them anymore. She said I was “green” (I don’t really know what that means honestly Im assuming it means wrong?? Damn am i getting old? lol) for not coming since it was my idea. I was still mad and didn’t answer. A little later she texted me again and said “alright bet bro im done ✌️ “ again dont know what this meant and honestly didnt care I didn’t answer that text either. S then texted me a while after that and was basically begging me to come with them. I told her no I needed some space from them after last night what you guys did was crazy. Who lies about being in a car accident that’s some crazy shit and wasting my gas and time like that. She went on about how it was just a joke and they didn’t mean to upset me and apologized. I accepted and told her she knows I love her and is just upset right now. She then apologized again and said she hopes I change my mind about that night I liked the message and just left it at that. Throughout the day S kept calling me and I didn’t answer not because of what happened but because I was going pet store to pet store with my sister because we were looking for a puppy. She then texted me again around 6 pm and said she really needed to know if i was coming that night so she could send an uber to my house of not. I told her “no I already told T i’m not coming but you have fun 💙” she replied thank you and that was that. I then got a message from S saying “ T wants to know if you want us to wait for you or meet us there” I was confused because I had JUST told her I wasn’t coming so I just replied to my own message where I said I wasn’t coming with the point fingers emoji at the message. That was the last I talked to them. Im pretty sure T and I aren’t friends anymore which i’m fine with honestly. I am a little sad about S. We haven’t been close since middle school but she’s always been so sweet and adorable but it is what it is I guess.
What do you guys think? Was I wrong?

Just a little bit of a back story. I have been sick for the past year and half. My blood levels have been low and the drs don’t know what the cause is, is it it an iron deficiency or something worse. So they began doing a series of infusion treatments on me to see if my blood levels would rise. While this has been going on I was still working but thankfully my employer was understanding and said whenever I needed to go rest just make up the time where I could. I am a contingent employee under contract so I have no pto or sick time. So I cant necessarily miss because I need the money to help support my spouse and children. I also home school one of my children.
During this time because I have not been performing in the bedroom with my spouse because I have been sick and exhausted. It is not like I didn’t want I just physical could not. This past Christmas while I was working I sent a Text to my husband just telling him thanks for taking to me the dr the other day. He responds with I want a divorce. He then proceeds to tell me I am soul eater that I am drag him down and now that he has lost weight he wants to explore more options with his body that couldn’t before and I am not giving him sex everyday like I use to. He asked me for an open relationship. I said this is not a conversation to have via text come home. At that point I was worked up at my desk while working and not feeling the best.
He comes home and completely avoids me. I tried engaging in conversation everything but he went straight to his computer ignoring me. The next morning I woke up and tried engaging in conversation again he ignored me until later that evening. during the conversation he began a by saying he wants to leave because he doesn’t believe I respect him or appreciation him and he doesn’t feel in control of the relationship further more me being sick is exhausting and the children we adopted do not respect him either.
I sat their in a daze because something was not sitting right with me. I asked if there was someone else he initially said no but then I said you’re lying and he confessed he was talking with his ex and that they had been sexting. He said it wasn’t affair because it was not physical however in our first year of marriage he sexted someone and I sat the boundary that it was not ok! Fast forward 10 years he did it again.
On Christmas he decided to leave.. imagine having to tell the 2 kids you just adopted on Christmas it wasn’t their fault because they were blaming themselves due to the comment he made as he was leaving he stated “don’t let your mom get in your head like my mom did when she divorced my dad…” what why would say that! I explained to the kids that we were just in a rough spot and no matter what happens we love them unconditionally and nothing is their fault because our younger son was saying if him and his brother didn’t come in the picture none of this would happen. Worse day of my life especially. The next day he messaged and asked if we were going to his moms to celebrate Christmas and that k got what I wanted he had to sleep in a parking lot. I told him not to sleep in a parking lot and for the sake of the kids come home. But if he were to come home this thing with ex had to stop. The only reason it began because I wasn’t given him attention and she is going through a divorce and gave him everything he needed that she was better than me in all aspects. I sat there and cried. He the canceled my health insurance.
He came home and I went to the bedroom to sleep he texted me and said o you can’t come out here now that I came home. I go outside the room to talk to him and he told me I needed to speak to a therapist that I am crazy and a narcissist. That he is going to stay.
I began speaking with a therapist paying out of pocket and told her everything that occurred and what he had said and done and what I have said and done and that I was really nervous about being a narcissist and if I were a narcissist. After speaking with her for a moments she told me I wasn’t a narcissist but I do suffer narcissistic victim syndrome and that I live with my narcissist. I told her I was having a hard time with forgiveness with the other girl because if she was going through a divorce because her spouse cheated why would she do that to another person. The therapist was to ask her.
So I took her advice and I sent the message. She responded. We had a completely adult conversation she stated she begged my husband not to cheat but he led her to believe we were in an open marriage. She reassured me going for she would not be a bother anymore and I thanked her.
Fast forward a couple of days I get a follow on my instagram from a girl I use to work with. I have spoken with this person in years but i remembered her because she was so nice. So I sent her a private message that literally just said hello how are you? She responded as if I was trying to get intel out of her regarding my spouse and was so nasty. I sat there crying not understanding why this person was so mean and spouse what is it. I said this girl we worked followed me and I sent her message saying hello and she goes off about you what the hell are you telling me people. He said nothing I am not telling anybody anything.
So I messaged her back to shut the conversation down and showed the screen shot of where she followed me and I wasn’t even following her. I told her not to make up lies about my husband then she sends me a screenshot of her and my husband convo he had villianized me to her. I thanked her for the message and blocked her. I fwd a screen shot of the message to his phone and set in silence. He responded “Yeah? And? Be sure to bring that up to your therapist too. Way to send us a whole step backwards because you can't talk to me like an adult. I lied about not knowing because I wanted to see how far you would take it.”
The goodness out of all this is I am no longer a contingent and next month will have health insurance again to start back my infusions treatments to determine why my blood levels are low fingers crossed it is an iron deficiency.
Am I the asshole for wanting a divorce?

I just am looking for advice and wanting to vent. I have been dating this guy for a couple months now. Every date he extends it, adds something else for us to do, kisses me, and tells me he has an amazing time with me. It’s been almost two weeks since I have seen him last. We spent 7-8 hours together. He texted me when I left his place that day and all evening. Up until then he texted me every day. I reached out after a few days went by and told him I’d really like to see him again. No response. Just sends me memes…. So I reached out again, felt embarrassed but I just didn’t want regret. And I told him I’d really like to see him again, he did reply this time. Said he’d really like that and we will get together when he gets back in town…. No date set up, no further texts. Nothing. Just sends me instagram reels. Which sucks because even that small effort makes me think oh well he still likes me… he is always the first to view my stories, doesn’t like them though. I downloaded bumble for the first time ever and he was suggested to me THREE times. I didn’t know he was even on the app, but I mean at this point I was too. He put the key to relationship is trust, communication and someone to grow with but he hasn’t communicated anything to me as to why he’s distancing. I thought it was funny so I messaged him through the app and said “I’ll communicate something to ya, I wanna help you grow 😉🍆” He didn’t respond but continues to send reels and memes so idk if he even saw it lol
Here’s the deal, he’s moving far away soon. He’s the only guy I had been dating, I am very attracted to him, in order for me to be physical with someone I have to have an intellectual connection which I thought after a couple months we had. I really want to have sex with him. I’m sick of being celibate!
Is this soft ghosting??? Lack of texts followed by just watching my stories and sending memes? I’ve never had this happen to me before, totally sucks

Please be literate, descriptive and over the age of 18 (preferebly 24+) There was a mixup with the paperwork and our characters end up as roommates in college. If you have any questions or if you're interested in this plot, feel free to send me a message.
The young man named Aaron walked down the bustling college campus, he couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness coursing through his veins. This was the beginning of a next chapter in his life, where he aimed to meet new people and to learn a vast majority of knowledge from his teachers. With each step he took towards his new dorm room, his heart pounded with anticipation, and his mind raced with thoughts of what lay ahead.
Eventually, he reached the building that housed his dormitory. As he entered the hallway, the smell of fresh paint hit his nostrils, a sure sign of recent renovations. The walls were adorned with motivational quotes and colorful posters, creating an inviting atmosphere for the students. With his backpack slung over his shoulder, he followed the directions on the piece of paper that one of the faculty members gave to him.
Arriving at room 202, he paused outside the door for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he inserted the key into the lock and slowly turned it. With a gentle click, the door swung open, revealing his new sanctuary for the next academic year.
Aaron stepped into the room and was impressed with how clean and organized the room was. The room was comprised of two single beds tucked against opposite walls, each defined by their own corner. A large, sturdy wooden desk sat against the window, which gave off a lot of natural light that streamed through the slightly dusty glass panes.
Taking a moment to scan the space, he noticed the pristine white walls, no doubt most people would cover these bare walls with posters and pictures to give the room more personality. There was also two spacious closets, complete with sliding doors that would accommodate all his belongings.
His phone began to vibrate loudly in his back pocket. No doubt one of his friends was texting him to come see their dorm room. Aaron stuffed his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone to respond to his friends text message.
"Hey, have you seen your dorm room yet?! They are awesome, aren't they? You should come over to mine."
"Can't. I'm still unpacking."
"Still?! You're so slow, Aaron. Text me when you're done and we'll go cause some havoc in the school."
"lol"
Aaron tossed his phone onto one of the beds. He noticed the meticulously made twin-sized mattresses, adorned with fresh sheets and fluffy pillows. Thankfully the beds were comfortable, almost as comfortable as his own bed back home.
His gaze then shifted towards the large window, framing a picturesque view of the campus. From here, he would witness countless sunrises and sunsets, changing seasons, and the ebb and flow of campus life. He imagined himself sitting there, coffee in hand, taking a moment to appreciate the beauty and serenity that each day would bring.
From outside his dorm room he heard the footsteps of someone coming closer and closer. Aaron assumed that this individual was most likely going to be his roommate for this school year. He didn't want to just awkwardly stand in the middle of the room when they walked in so he began to empty out the contents of his backpack onto his bed.

Hello! I'm a 28-year-old experienced player looking to join an online discord group. I'm available Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday, from morning until midnight EST (10:00 AM - 12:00 AM).
I have 3 years of experience with Eclipse Phase, 5 years experience playing D&D 5th Edition and have been playing Starfinder for about two years.
I'm not looking to join Play-by-Post or text-based games, and as such voice is a mandatory requirement for me. While I prefer a roleplay-heavy sort of game, anything else is alright. I prefer to use Roll20 as a platform, but I am just as comfortable using theatre-of-the-mind or learning a new digital platform. Feel free to message me on here and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!

hey all! im a 20 year old female and i’ve fallen on hard times. i moved away from my toxic household in 2021 to college and over the past 2 years things have been rough. i got an off campus apartment and was working, but jobs where i live don’t pay anything. (in a small town in alabama) i got behind on bills, i got behind on tuition, and now im just stuck. this was my last semester in college because i couldn’t pay tuition, and i can’t enroll in next semester until it is paid off. i use a friends car, i live at a friends house, and i don’t even have $2 in my account. i have 3 cats that i can no longer afford but initially had them for support. i’ve been praying so hard the last couple of months and i’ve tried reaching out, i have no family what do ever that will even give me a text back. anything is literally appreciated. i have not been fully evicted yet, but i received an email saying that it would come to it, and i already know that i can’t afford it so im just waiting for the time. if you guys could help me in some way, whether it’s food, gas, bills, ANYTHING, this is my last resort. i will be more than grateful!! if you can help with anything at all, i can send proof of everything , message me if you need cash tags or paypal info and i can send everything over. i’m not trying to get over on anyone, just looking for help ❤️

Hi everyone!
So I was talking to a this girl for a few months and it was going really well until she started having some home issues and mental health issues and things like that so she wouldn’t reply as frequently or as “lovingly” and my friends suggested I should just text her about it because you can’t make anything work without communication. For context, she is autistic and can struggle with replying to messages if she has a lot going on in general. So like I said it was all going really well we clicked super quickly and we messaged all the time and everything until recently when she went colder with me and that sent my brain into overthinking mode and I tried to surpress my irrational thoughts because I have an anxious attachment type and she needed the space away from me but there were a few times I couldn’t help but message because everyone was saying it’s what I should do and yesterday my brain just couldn’t keep it in any longer and I asked if she thinks we’d ever be anything to which she said this:
“I JUST DONT KNOW ATM WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON AND WHAT HAPPENED BEFOREEE ECT MUMS SURGERY AND MY MENTAL HEALTH I DONT THINK I'LL HAVE ENOUGH TIME OR EMERGY”
I replied with the truth that one of my friends told me to just ask her straight up and anything but a yes means she doesn’t care and doesn’t see it going anywhere so I shouldn’t put my energy into one girl which made me overthink and send the message to which she replied with:
“he doesn't know about me and my issues though so not reallyyyy his place to say it's completely different with me compared to a 'normal' person i just have lots on my plate to deal with and i'm going to struggle to have the time to go out, meet, talk ect because mums surgery recovery time is like 6 months and i'll be the only one home so i'll be doing everything”,
I then replied saying that I’m sorry and that I really really like her and need to stop listening to what other people say and to just trust her. She then replied to that saying:
“i just think we'd be better of as friends atm don’t be sorry i just don't think the timing is right with everything going on you're still very important to me and i appreciate everything you've done and how much you've helped me”
My response to this was that I didn’t think I could only be friends because I care about her a lot and want to be there for her and help her through the hard times and that I’ll wait for her as long as it takes to get through everything etc etc to which she waited a few hours and sent me a message that I never managed to open in time because she blocked me on everything before I could ever read it and as soon as she blocks me it disappears. So now I’m trying to move on but she’s stuck on my mind and I don’t want to because she is an amazing girl and I want to be there for her and I felt like we had a good connection but my own insecurities and attachment hit me out of nowhere and my brain needs to know what she said in that last message before she blocked me but I can’t know without asking her which would be doing the opposite of what she wants and needs and it’s not letting me move on well because she could’ve said anything.
I cut out my full messages and things plus some extra back story to not make it too long so I guess I’m asking for any advice? She meant a lot to me and I didn’t want to push her away this much by becoming needy and doubtful. I’ve also been struggling recently with just not enjoying things in general and not enjoying life as much because I don’t live near friends so there’s not much joy around me until I go see them. Any advice and thoughts are appreciated thank you! 19M for reference sorry for the read 😭

Did I do the right thing and walk?
Texting with a girl for a month. I asked her out a few times. Got denied because she was sick , allergies , I get that . Ask to talk , shot down sore throat , no other discussion.
Then she had family commitments for the weekend - not contesting that. I asked her if she wanted to meet up on the Sunday, said it depends when her son leaves . Sunday comes , I hear from her in the morning then at 10pm, says she just got home . Like she avoided the topic. She made a comment if not this weekend then definitely this week. She made no effort.
I message her and ask if it’s all in my head that she doesn’t want to hangout, she reassured me it’s in my head and she’s been busy. We move past it and we talk about hanging out on Friday. She says she’ll let me know that evening. That afternoon she went silent till the next day. 24 hours. Says her phone would send texts then disappeared, had to get it fixed ( ya ok)
Now we got deep quick, she said she wanted to delete her profile and focus on me only . Texting was non stop between us, connection was amazing . It was like I found my twin in everything ! Kinda caught a feeling for her. Sometimes I get the “ I didn’t see this text” phone died, phone crashed ( she is the type to have 1000s of photos in her phone ) we texted like we were already committed, can’t sleep? She wanted me to text her, good morning and good night texts , calling me sweetheart, sending kiss emojis. She knew I was in therapy and was extremely supportive of it. When I didn’t want to go she was encouraging me and said that she respected that I was making an effort to improve myself
One night we were talking about deleting our profiles , I took screen shots of our firsts conversations and deleted it. She only had 2 photos on her profile.
This Wednesday after 2 weeks after of discussing focusing only on each other , she texts me late in the day , says she forgot her phone at home , sends a few messages then goes silent . That’s at 2pm. I go back online at 9pm , create a profile and there she is, with an extra photo .:( I send her a screen shot and tell her she could’ve been honest. I get no reply. At this point it’s been 8 hours and she did the same thing to me the week before.
Next morning I tell her how I felt and that if she wants to talk she can text me . Silent . That was Thursday morning.
Now we are no contact
Part of me says I ruined it , I reacted poorly. Did I have the right to be upset ?
part of me says she was never going to meet me and I’m unsure . I asked her out 4 or 5 times! Never been in this situation. After the first refusal I move on. This time I didn’t and now I’m confused

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Hello! I posted here a few days ago about my Messages App being extremely buggy, with messages sending and receiving taking upwards of 30 minutes to an hour, and sometimes messages come in from an "unknown sender". Messages in MMS group chats often remain undownloaded.
I have tried many other fixes people recommended, including clearing the cache, restarting my phone, deleting old messages, and at the moment I am needing to use WhatsApp to communicate with people. The next step In my problem-solving I believe should be to delete and reinstall the messages app, or to clear the data.
I had previously turned of automatically backing up to the cloud because of storage issues. My question is, if I have my backup turned off, will deleting the app or clearing the data remove all of my old text messages and images?
If so, what should I do to ensure their safety?
Thank you!

I’m so confused. So I, 20f had a friend group of six. It’s four guys (all 20-22), two girls (we are both 20) and we’ve been friends since our first year of college. One guy, let’s call him John, seems to take every second to make fun of me or berate me for small things. Everyone kinda of laughs it off. He usually completely ignores me if I try to talk to him, and rolls his eyes every time I do literally anything.
For the longest time it seemed like he wished I wasn’t there and I didn’t bother him.
I went on a date with a really nice guy, and suddenly my phone was being spammed with angry messages from John asking where I was. It was this Friday and usually we all go to the movies then. I texted him saying I was on a date and he tried to call me. I turned off my phone and ignored him.
The date went well and we chose a day to go on a second date. yesterday we were hanging out when one of my friends asked about the date. I started talking about how nice the guy was and how kind he was to me, then without warning john blew up and started angrily ranting. He got up in my face and said stuff like “no one else could ever tolerate you expect me” and “how could you be so stupid? After everything we’ve been through?” We’ve been through nothing together, so I and everyone else on the friend group were surprised by his outburst. He was forced to leave and has kept blowing up my phone.
Do I block him? Talk about it with him? I’m not the best with friendship because I’ve never had a friend group before, usually just one or two close friends. Maybe he’s mentally unwell? I just need help.
Tl:dr-guy I’m not close to in my friend group got mad at me for going on a date, got aggressive, and acted betrayed

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year, and have been living together for six months. Our relationship has been very committed, serious, and happy, but we do have differences in personality and sometimes they clash. Last night, we got into a fight. It was nothing major and no words that couldn't be taken back were exchanged, but I got frustrated enough that I yelled at my boyfriend. I very rarely yell for any reason, and could feel myself boiling over into frustration. My boyfriend as well seemed upset and began to ignore my attempts to talk it out which made me even angrier, so in order to get some space from him I messaged a friend (m23), N, to ask if he would drive me down the street for a bit in exchange for some late night munchies.
I have known N for almost three years and he is one of few friends I've been able to make as an adult. He is also dating my best friend of almost five years (m22), H. I originally messaged H with this same request, but H was feeling very sick. N is a chronic night owl and lives less than three minutes away, so he said he was up for it and arrived within ten minutes of me asking.
I was gone for no longer than twenty five minutes, and almost 80% of that time I spent talking to my boyfriend over text. Sometimes when we argue, we get to the issue better over writing, because we aren't trying to talk over each other and we can think out our words better. The only thing N and I did was drive down the street (about three blocks), get fast food from the drive through (I got my boyfriend a burger for lunch tomorrow), N got gas at the nextdoor gas station, and then I was driven back.
I asked my boyfriend if he had anything else he felt like he needed to talk to me about since we had both calmed down, and he said no, and that he had already gotten over it. We hugged and kissed and spent the next two hours eating dinner and laughing over youtube.
When it came time for bed, I had just thrown up (I have Crohns, it happens a lot), and was very exhausted. I was just dozing off when my boyfriend asked, "So, what did you tell N to get him to rush over here so quickly?"
I told N that my boyfriend and I had gotten into an argument, but that we would be fine, and we just needed to air out the apartment of bad vibes. I tried to tell this to my boyfriend, but he immediately cut me off angrily and said "Oh, I see" right after I finished "argument."
I tried to continue explaining that I didn't say anything bad about him to N, only for my boyfriend to ask why I had to run away with a male friend after an argument, and then asked if I had "sucked his dick too" while I was gone.
I am gay, but my boyfriend is pan, and has friends of all genders. I was shocked at him saying this, and asked why he would accuse me of cheating on him. He avoided this question and kept asking why I made such a huge deal of our fight earlier that I needed to run away. I tried to explain that I wanted to clear my head so I could approach the issue productively, but by this point I was in tears over him accusing me of cheating. He then asked why it made me so upset if I didn't do anything, and I said it was because I felt incredibly shocked and disrespected.
I ended up crying so much that my boyfriend got angry with me again, and we got into another verbal altercation. He tried to claim that he was just joking with the dick sucking comment, but when I asked if me going with a female friend would have been different, he said yes. I pointed out that he hangs out with both male and female friends all the time alone for long stretches of time, but I had never felt like he was cheating on me with any of them. I also said he could read all the messages between me and N if he still didn't trust me. This seemed to finally get to him, and he hugged me and ushered me back to bed. I cried, and told him I would never cheat on him, and he said he knew that, and we went to sleep.
It has been hours since then and I have barely gotten a wink of sleep. It feels like my heart has broken. This man is truly the love of my life as corny as it sounds. Our lives are interlinked, and we have already talked about marriage and how we want to spend the rest of our lives together.
I think part of why it hurts so bad is because his closest friend is his ex girlfriend, who is also his ex fiance. They dated for five years and I support their friendship because she was a major part of his life. He frequently brings her food and lets her borrow his playstation, but I have never once thought that he would cheat on me with her. Now that he's accused me of this, though, I don't know what to think.
I would like to know what my next step should be in approaching this situation, that helps both myself and my boyfriend move past this.
TL:DR; After a fight, I took a short drive with a male friend to clear my head. My boyfriend accused me of cheating on him with this friend, and now it feels like my heart has broken, and I don't know what the next step to take is.