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2008.09.15 18:29 All about quality home stereo, gear, and reviews
• audio·phile: a person with love for, affinity towards or obsession with high-quality playback of sound and music. audiophile is a subreddit for the pursuit of quality audio reproduction of all forms, budgets, and sizes of speakers. Our primary goal is insightful discussion of home audio equipment, sources, music, and concepts.
2024.06.08 10:52 DirtyDiplomacy Aw33e pension form - is it always needed for death in service payments? Even during the pandemic? A warning to every NHS nurse retiring due to ill health.
My sister, who was a nurse, died of Covid at the age of 44 two years ago. The NHS are now claiming her pension is their pension and there is no payment owed to her family. 15 years worth of pension contributions gone and there is no death in service payment.
Given her age, my sister wasn’t expected to die of Covid when she was admitted. When it was looking grim a knowledgeable colleague rushed to her bedside for her to sign a Aw33e form so a death in service payment could be made to her surviving family.
Sadly my sister had just died when she arrived at her bedside. It is the absence of this form that the NHS is using to effectively take her pension for themselves. They say even if she had been alive to sign the form it wouldn’t have mattered because they needed to have received it and approved it before it was valid.
Does anyone know of a circumstance where the NHS has waived the need for aW33e form for a death in service payment to be made to surviving family members? Or an existing exemption in the regulations which an existing exemption in the regulations which removes the requirement for this forms?
This really isn’t about money. It is about the principal. My sister was working very few hours the last two years of her career due to her disabilities and as everyone knows the death and service payment is calculated on an average of the last two years so even if my sister had filled out the form before she died, the payment to her family would be minimal. I just find it outrageous and callous that when the NHS makes a decision towards its own staff it always seems to chose a miserly and callous option.
My sister was a respiratory nurse who was retiring on ill health grounds. She had served for 17 years. She had to fill out a 28 page form to progress her ill health retirement despite the reason for retirement being arthritic hands which made handwriting very difficult.
The NHS are pushing us to agreed with their proposal, but whenever we go to sign the form we physically can’t do it because it seems so unfair to my sister. She was paid so little only then for her pension to be confiscated and no payment to her family due to the absence of a form not filled in partly due to us being in a pandemic.
If the process takes longer than two years, which it has , the government also charge 40% tax on any payment they give to us. Not sure why that rule exists.
I would encourage every nurse, every member of the NHS who is retiring due to ill health to sign the AW33A form. just in case and avoid your pension being confiscated.
My post is to ask if anyone has been told by their health authority that the AW33A form is not needed or has been waived. This would mean we could go back to our health board and challenge them on this point
Ps. My sister thought she religiously paid for her RCN membership. She always took it seriously and Wood say how important it was however it seems there was a problem with the direct debit and she had stopped paying two years before her death so we haven’t had access to their services.
OPTIONS PROVE WHY WE NEED AN EXAMPLE
This is what we are advised.
The AW33E form is crucial in the NHS pension scheme, specifically for ensuring that benefits are correctly allocated upon the death of a member. This form designates the beneficiaries who will receive death in service payments. Typically, the NHS requires this form to be filled in to process such payments efficiently and correctly.
We are going to try these approaches again, but that is what we’ve been doing for the last two years and it got us nowhere. An actual example of an exemption being made would be so powerful for
submitted by DirtyDiplomacy to nhs [link] [comments]
Given her age, my sister wasn’t expected to die of Covid when she was admitted. When it was looking grim a knowledgeable colleague rushed to her bedside for her to sign a Aw33e form so a death in service payment could be made to her surviving family.
Sadly my sister had just died when she arrived at her bedside. It is the absence of this form that the NHS is using to effectively take her pension for themselves. They say even if she had been alive to sign the form it wouldn’t have mattered because they needed to have received it and approved it before it was valid.
Does anyone know of a circumstance where the NHS has waived the need for aW33e form for a death in service payment to be made to surviving family members? Or an existing exemption in the regulations which an existing exemption in the regulations which removes the requirement for this forms?
This really isn’t about money. It is about the principal. My sister was working very few hours the last two years of her career due to her disabilities and as everyone knows the death and service payment is calculated on an average of the last two years so even if my sister had filled out the form before she died, the payment to her family would be minimal. I just find it outrageous and callous that when the NHS makes a decision towards its own staff it always seems to chose a miserly and callous option.
My sister was a respiratory nurse who was retiring on ill health grounds. She had served for 17 years. She had to fill out a 28 page form to progress her ill health retirement despite the reason for retirement being arthritic hands which made handwriting very difficult.
The NHS are pushing us to agreed with their proposal, but whenever we go to sign the form we physically can’t do it because it seems so unfair to my sister. She was paid so little only then for her pension to be confiscated and no payment to her family due to the absence of a form not filled in partly due to us being in a pandemic.
If the process takes longer than two years, which it has , the government also charge 40% tax on any payment they give to us. Not sure why that rule exists.
I would encourage every nurse, every member of the NHS who is retiring due to ill health to sign the AW33A form. just in case and avoid your pension being confiscated.
My post is to ask if anyone has been told by their health authority that the AW33A form is not needed or has been waived. This would mean we could go back to our health board and challenge them on this point
Ps. My sister thought she religiously paid for her RCN membership. She always took it seriously and Wood say how important it was however it seems there was a problem with the direct debit and she had stopped paying two years before her death so we haven’t had access to their services.
OPTIONS PROVE WHY WE NEED AN EXAMPLE
This is what we are advised.
The AW33E form is crucial in the NHS pension scheme, specifically for ensuring that benefits are correctly allocated upon the death of a member. This form designates the beneficiaries who will receive death in service payments. Typically, the NHS requires this form to be filled in to process such payments efficiently and correctly.
Regulatory Framework and Exemptions
Under normal circumstances, the completion of the AW33E form is a requirement as per NHS Pensions regulations. The NHS Business Services Authority (NHSBSA) outlines that this form ensures the accurate distribution of benefits. However, there are certain conditions under which exemptions or alternative processes might apply:- Default Beneficiary Rules: If an AW33E form is not filled, the NHS pension scheme has a default beneficiary hierarchy. This generally follows the legal next of kin structure, which can be used to distribute benefits in the absence of the AW33E form. These rules are based on statutory provisions and ensure that benefits can still be distributed, albeit not necessarily according to the deceased's specific wishes.
- Discretionary Powers: The NHS pension scheme administrators have some discretionary powers. In cases where the form was not filled due to exceptional circumstances, administrators can use their discretion to allocate benefits. This, however, is often considered on a case-by-case basis and typically requires supporting documentation to justify the absence of the AW33E form.
Justifying the Lack of a Form
There can be various justifications for not having a completed AW33E form, which might include:- Administrative Errors: If the form was not filled out due to an administrative oversight by the NHS, it might be possible to appeal to the pension administrators for discretionary consideration.
- Unforeseen Circumstances: Sudden death or severe illness that prevented the member from completing the form might be considered a valid reason. Documentation from medical professionals can support such cases.
- Pandemic-related Disruptions: The COVID-19 pandemic created unprecedented disruptions. If the form was not filled out due to pandemic-related reasons, such as the inability to access necessary documents or administrative offices being closed, these might be used to justify the absence. Evidence showing attempts to complete the form or pandemic-related restrictions could support this argument.
Pandemic Clauses
While there is no specific clause within the NHS pension regulations that directly addresses the pandemic, the extraordinary nature of the pandemic has led to increased flexibility in various administrative processes across the public sector. The NHS and other public bodies have recognised the need for adaptability during these times. It may be beneficial to highlight any pandemic-related issues, such as lockdowns or health complications, that prevented the completion of the AW33E form when seeking discretionary consideration.Conclusion
While the AW33E form is generally required for death in service payments, there are mechanisms within the NHS pension scheme regulations that can allow for benefits to be distributed without it. These include default beneficiary rules and the discretionary powers of pension administrators. Justifying the absence of the form can involve demonstrating administrative errors, unforeseen circumstances, or disruptions caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. For specific advice and to pursue any of these avenues, contacting the NHS Pensions is essential to discuss the individual case and provide the necessary supporting documentation. …..We are going to try these approaches again, but that is what we’ve been doing for the last two years and it got us nowhere. An actual example of an exemption being made would be so powerful for
2024.06.08 10:49 where_is_that_mind I threw a wrecking ball into my life during an episode before I got diagnosed. How do I make peace?
Hey - first time poster here, not lurking for a long time either. This might be a long post, I'm grateful to any who'll read it. Thank you.
I have been in therapy for years (due to trauma) but avoided psychiatrists and so I was never diagnosed with anything.i had certain "odd' behaviors that I hated and did not understand. Namely, the fact that I did not have a sense of identity and mimicked people in front of me. Every social interaction was a game of studying the person as quickly as I could so I could get them to like me as best I could.
When I vented to friends and loved ones they assumed it was that I was likely on the autism spectrum. I never cared enough to diagnose that either, so I said "eh maybe" and moved on. Accepting that this was going to be life.
Fast forward to March of this year. I had recently moved from the middle east into a european country for matters relating to safety. However, I did not know anyone in this country before moving. So - I was the most alone i've ever been.
I had a girlfriend of over 4 years and we decided to try to be long distance before I moved. However, in March, I broke up with her for essentially no reason. Partly because she was getting successful and that made me feel unneeded, partly because I blamed her for my lack of identity. I ended a relationship of over 4 years on a whim essentially.
My therapist here had previously asked me to go to a psychiatrist and I refused every time. However, shorly after the mania ended I said "I give up" and resigned to see a psychiatrist. Said psychiatrist diagnosed me with BPD almost immediately.
I had all the symptoms and fit all the diagnostic criteria. I said "yes" to all the different questions she asked me, feeling like she knew the answer was coming and she just wanted to further confirm her diagnosis. All the forms of abuse, the symptoms, my past, how prone I am to addicition, how I feel, my previous attempt. All of it led her to say I have BPD and Bipolar.
The episode that led me to giving up and seeing a psychiatrist included the following: - Breaking up with the love of my life - Jumping into a polyamourous relationship 2 weeks after - Being a wrecking ball in said relationship - Gambling away a lot of my money because I got cocky with stocks - Many other small incidents that I do not wish to go into, that were just awful.
Shortly before my diagnosis, I was going through a short weed bender where I had meditated and decided to be more mindfull. I have been practicing that ever since and have noticed considerable improvement in my life. Both my therapist and psychiatrist agree I am high functioning and have high hopes I can "recover" and do not have to live my life how I always have. That I could have normal relationships.
I have gotten back together with the love of my life, she was gracious enough to give me another chance. I can not fuck it up again. She knows about the diagnosis, the risks involved and the stigma of dating someone with BPD, but she trusts me as a person to figure it out. I started practicing ways to keep my money secure from myself, etc.
I am putting my life back together, but every day I wake up and remember everything and I can not make it peace with it. I remember who I was and what I've done and feel like I was possessed for a month. I remember the pain I've caused and the pain I've suffered and can not make peace with it.
How do you make peace with it? How do you accept it. I'm still very early into treatment and any insight will likely be new to me. I did not know anything about BPD before being diagnosed with it.
If you made it this far in the post, thank you so much.
submitted by where_is_that_mind to BPD [link] [comments]
I have been in therapy for years (due to trauma) but avoided psychiatrists and so I was never diagnosed with anything.i had certain "odd' behaviors that I hated and did not understand. Namely, the fact that I did not have a sense of identity and mimicked people in front of me. Every social interaction was a game of studying the person as quickly as I could so I could get them to like me as best I could.
When I vented to friends and loved ones they assumed it was that I was likely on the autism spectrum. I never cared enough to diagnose that either, so I said "eh maybe" and moved on. Accepting that this was going to be life.
Fast forward to March of this year. I had recently moved from the middle east into a european country for matters relating to safety. However, I did not know anyone in this country before moving. So - I was the most alone i've ever been.
I had a girlfriend of over 4 years and we decided to try to be long distance before I moved. However, in March, I broke up with her for essentially no reason. Partly because she was getting successful and that made me feel unneeded, partly because I blamed her for my lack of identity. I ended a relationship of over 4 years on a whim essentially.
My therapist here had previously asked me to go to a psychiatrist and I refused every time. However, shorly after the mania ended I said "I give up" and resigned to see a psychiatrist. Said psychiatrist diagnosed me with BPD almost immediately.
I had all the symptoms and fit all the diagnostic criteria. I said "yes" to all the different questions she asked me, feeling like she knew the answer was coming and she just wanted to further confirm her diagnosis. All the forms of abuse, the symptoms, my past, how prone I am to addicition, how I feel, my previous attempt. All of it led her to say I have BPD and Bipolar.
The episode that led me to giving up and seeing a psychiatrist included the following: - Breaking up with the love of my life - Jumping into a polyamourous relationship 2 weeks after - Being a wrecking ball in said relationship - Gambling away a lot of my money because I got cocky with stocks - Many other small incidents that I do not wish to go into, that were just awful.
Shortly before my diagnosis, I was going through a short weed bender where I had meditated and decided to be more mindfull. I have been practicing that ever since and have noticed considerable improvement in my life. Both my therapist and psychiatrist agree I am high functioning and have high hopes I can "recover" and do not have to live my life how I always have. That I could have normal relationships.
I have gotten back together with the love of my life, she was gracious enough to give me another chance. I can not fuck it up again. She knows about the diagnosis, the risks involved and the stigma of dating someone with BPD, but she trusts me as a person to figure it out. I started practicing ways to keep my money secure from myself, etc.
I am putting my life back together, but every day I wake up and remember everything and I can not make it peace with it. I remember who I was and what I've done and feel like I was possessed for a month. I remember the pain I've caused and the pain I've suffered and can not make peace with it.
How do you make peace with it? How do you accept it. I'm still very early into treatment and any insight will likely be new to me. I did not know anything about BPD before being diagnosed with it.
If you made it this far in the post, thank you so much.
2024.06.08 10:49 xDRSTEVOx God created
Children with cancer, pedophiles, rapists, murderers, how are we all "made in his image"? Like clearly even god wouldn't be perfect, but I'd like to doubt that he made diddlers in 'his image'. Also, how can people that believe in god ridicule gays, and basically everyone that isnt white and straight? I thought god loved all his children? Aren't you supposed to love thy neighbour? Sorry if this seems rude/abrupt/disrespectful, but these are genuine questions and any answers will be welcomed by me and met with respectful responses.
submitted by xDRSTEVOx to god [link] [comments]
2024.06.08 10:49 ilovefood7171 my step father prefers to be around his nephew (brothers child) more than me.
my step father prefers to be around his nephew (brothers child) more than me. He constantly buy him yummy snacks, bonds with him, leaves the house 24/7, hell even our fridge is always full now that hes here and he looked happier when his nephew came more than me. He doesn’t even see that im here and he never gave me the emotional needs. ever since i was young i tried desperately to bond with him and play because i wanted a father, but he never made an effort when it came to me. i get that someone’ll say “yeah but not all step parents love their children” i know. but my step dad shouldn’t also pretend to “love and care” for me, he didn’t even tell me a happy birthday in person or even text/call.
submitted by ilovefood7171 to Vent [link] [comments]
2024.06.08 10:49 x-beast is it normal my salamanders come over to me when i open the enclosure?
so i made a large 2×3ft backyard enclosure a while ago (im planning to upgrade to a large 100+quart storage bin as the next enclosure. but last year i added 4 juvenile salamanders from my backyard. they have all doubled in size now and i think are almost adults. they are feeding off the small bugs in my enclosure. like: small isopods, milipedes (2 types) and springtails. they are all nice and round and look very healthy to me. but i tried hand feeding them tiny mealworms from my colony a while ago and they seem to love it! now whenever i open the enclosure (at night) most if not all of them come slowly crawiling over to me and up to my hands. i make sure to wash mt hands thoroughly with declorinated water before i go into the enclosure and i spray down my hands before i touch them (i rarely do).
does anyone else's do this?
submitted by x-beast to salamanders [link] [comments]
does anyone else's do this?
2024.06.08 10:48 ratswithparachutes Character design quality feels very inconsistent between fighters
Before the rant, I should point out that I have absolutely no experience in game design. I am just an (admittedly biased) player venting frustrations. I will try to stray from the discussion of balance, at least at a granular level.
Going through the roster of fighters, I feel that certain characters lack a strong gameplay identity in comparison to others, almost to the point where it feels like there are entirely different character teams working with fundamentally different design philosophies. I will not go over every fighter here, but I will attempt to contrast what I believe are solid designs against those I feel are not as strong as they could be.
Marvin is a good example of a complex character that retains a core identity while having a lot of options at his disposal. Heavily centered around projectiles, Marvin has a whopping total of 4 unique projectiles, 5 if you count the projectile ending the auto combo. All of them have unique use cases, ranging from zoning tools, self-defense, engage, to a high-impact knockout. This level of generalization would normally be difficult to tie together into one ideal game plan....
Until the Flag and the Modulator come into play. These two tools allow Marvin's largely unrelated projectiles an almost unprecedent level of interplay between each other, rounding out a series of random moves into strong area denial and a brutal game of keep-away.
Stripe:
On the other hand, Stripe is a good example of a "simple" character that uses his small selection of tools to define his playstyle of "get in, get out". Stripe utilizes a set of risky gap-closers (Skateboard/Chainsaw) to get in, a set of follow-ups (AiGround side attacks, and up attacks) to put you into position, and a set of disjoints/projectiles (Boombox, buzz saw, and pistol) to put himself back into a safe position while pushing you into a worse one.
Honorable Mentions:
I have a good few words on Lebron. I am rather biased when it comes to him, as I think he's the most "fun" fighter to play as, and I had heavily considered putting him in "The Good" category, but my experience with him throughout beta and now the full release has gone through a fair bit of ups and downs.
Lebron is entirely designed around two states; with ball, and without. When Lebron has the ball, he wants to cash in on it, often getting rid of it in the process. When he is without, all he wants is to get it back. This back and forth, combined with his normals moveset, encourages Lebron to create space, so he can get into his combo game, which puts him in a position to create more space, so on so forth - until he is able to cash in the ball to ledge guard, shoot threes at enemies near topside blast zone, or dunk.
While I would normally consider this a very well defined playstyle, Lebron has received a lot of changes throughout this game's lifespan that push and pull him between his two states; back to back nerfs to his normals followed by nerfs to the ball projectile. While he still retains his "core" identity, over time these changes have watered down his game plan to a noticeable degree. It feels like the developers would have him excel in either space control or combo game, but can't decide on which.
Tom and Jerry:
(Fair warning: I have little experience with Tom and Jerry and I'm sure more experienced players can poke holes in this argument)
T&J are a refreshing take on the puppet archetype, both working together to create a complex but digestible whole. There is far less wrangling for control than is standard for these types of characters, while still leaving room for skill expression. Tom is always trying to get Jerry out when possible, throwing him in the line of fire for heavy area denial, and always trying to get him back afterwards, rinsing and repeating.
T&J are another fighter that I considered putting in "The Good" category, but I feel that their shortcomings stem mainly from the Tom-centric moves in their skillset. While they have their own merits, Fish hook, mouse trap, and dynamite feel largely irrelevant to the puppet dynamic. While Tom still needs options to use for when Jerry is on cooldown, I feel that there is a missed opportunity for these skills to interact with Jerry in a meaningful manner.
(Side note: I like how T&J's playstyle gives a strong run and chase vibe, fits very well)
Honorable Mentions:
I'm not going to lie, I hate this rabbit with a passion. I'm not even going to try to be unbiased here. Bugs' entire gameplan is to throw out oversized hitboxes and watch them connect from half a screen away. None of his attacks/specials have any relevance to any others outside of the tunnel and projectile interaction, which rarely contributes to any positive outcome.
I do not consider having massive hitboxes to be a core tenet of a fighter's identity, and I don't think there's much else to be said about Bugs, because there's not much else Bugs has.
Rick:
As opposed to Bugs, Rick feels as if there was at least an effort made to be made into a coherent, sensible moveset. That said, Rick is still lacking a solid identity, being poorly split between a setplay character with portals, a zoner with Meeseeks, and a support with polymorph. Despite being a mage, his power is heavily derived from his very strong normals, and his specials mainly serve to set rick up for his melee combos.
(Dis)honorable Mention:
Iron Giant: I don't think this one really needs to be explained.
TL;DR: Certain characters hold well designed kits with moves that complement each other and build to one coherent whole. Certain characters get close to this ideal, but harbor setbacks that hamper their identity. Certain characters feel like complete misses in regards to a cohesive playstyle.
To reiterate, my placement of characters of here is not fully indicative of my opinion on their state of balance unless they are relevant to the state of the character's design. I'd love to hear anyone else's thoughts on the matter - poked holes, disagreements, and all.
submitted by ratswithparachutes to MultiVersus [link] [comments]
Going through the roster of fighters, I feel that certain characters lack a strong gameplay identity in comparison to others, almost to the point where it feels like there are entirely different character teams working with fundamentally different design philosophies. I will not go over every fighter here, but I will attempt to contrast what I believe are solid designs against those I feel are not as strong as they could be.
The Good
Marvin the Martian:Marvin is a good example of a complex character that retains a core identity while having a lot of options at his disposal. Heavily centered around projectiles, Marvin has a whopping total of 4 unique projectiles, 5 if you count the projectile ending the auto combo. All of them have unique use cases, ranging from zoning tools, self-defense, engage, to a high-impact knockout. This level of generalization would normally be difficult to tie together into one ideal game plan....
Until the Flag and the Modulator come into play. These two tools allow Marvin's largely unrelated projectiles an almost unprecedent level of interplay between each other, rounding out a series of random moves into strong area denial and a brutal game of keep-away.
Stripe:
On the other hand, Stripe is a good example of a "simple" character that uses his small selection of tools to define his playstyle of "get in, get out". Stripe utilizes a set of risky gap-closers (Skateboard/Chainsaw) to get in, a set of follow-ups (AiGround side attacks, and up attacks) to put you into position, and a set of disjoints/projectiles (Boombox, buzz saw, and pistol) to put himself back into a safe position while pushing you into a worse one.
Honorable Mentions:
- Most other assassins. Being a (mostly) straightforward class of characters, assassins tend to share many similarities in their identity which, due to their lack of conventional defensive options (lack of proper armor, low weights, conditional projectile defense), pushes them into having a well-defined offensive to play towards.
- Wonder Woman/Superman: Designed to beat out aggressive plays and protect teammates from incoming threats, and do that job well.
- Reindog: Very simple character that likes to keep space with projectiles and has a surprising combo game for anyone that gets too close
The Questionable
Lebron:I have a good few words on Lebron. I am rather biased when it comes to him, as I think he's the most "fun" fighter to play as, and I had heavily considered putting him in "The Good" category, but my experience with him throughout beta and now the full release has gone through a fair bit of ups and downs.
Lebron is entirely designed around two states; with ball, and without. When Lebron has the ball, he wants to cash in on it, often getting rid of it in the process. When he is without, all he wants is to get it back. This back and forth, combined with his normals moveset, encourages Lebron to create space, so he can get into his combo game, which puts him in a position to create more space, so on so forth - until he is able to cash in the ball to ledge guard, shoot threes at enemies near topside blast zone, or dunk.
While I would normally consider this a very well defined playstyle, Lebron has received a lot of changes throughout this game's lifespan that push and pull him between his two states; back to back nerfs to his normals followed by nerfs to the ball projectile. While he still retains his "core" identity, over time these changes have watered down his game plan to a noticeable degree. It feels like the developers would have him excel in either space control or combo game, but can't decide on which.
Tom and Jerry:
(Fair warning: I have little experience with Tom and Jerry and I'm sure more experienced players can poke holes in this argument)
T&J are a refreshing take on the puppet archetype, both working together to create a complex but digestible whole. There is far less wrangling for control than is standard for these types of characters, while still leaving room for skill expression. Tom is always trying to get Jerry out when possible, throwing him in the line of fire for heavy area denial, and always trying to get him back afterwards, rinsing and repeating.
T&J are another fighter that I considered putting in "The Good" category, but I feel that their shortcomings stem mainly from the Tom-centric moves in their skillset. While they have their own merits, Fish hook, mouse trap, and dynamite feel largely irrelevant to the puppet dynamic. While Tom still needs options to use for when Jerry is on cooldown, I feel that there is a missed opportunity for these skills to interact with Jerry in a meaningful manner.
(Side note: I like how T&J's playstyle gives a strong run and chase vibe, fits very well)
Honorable Mentions:
- Steven Universe: Steven's walls/platforms complement his wide-hitting hitboxes very well and give him the opportunity for very oppressive setplay if used correctly, but the Steven clone not only feels out of place for his kit, it makes the job of setting up wall bounces tougher as it hampers the conditioning needed for the setup.
- Morty: Grenades offer many follow-ups to increase their space control, but they are unwieldy and largely rely on the enemy putting themselves out of position
The Ugly
Bugs Bunny:I'm not going to lie, I hate this rabbit with a passion. I'm not even going to try to be unbiased here. Bugs' entire gameplan is to throw out oversized hitboxes and watch them connect from half a screen away. None of his attacks/specials have any relevance to any others outside of the tunnel and projectile interaction, which rarely contributes to any positive outcome.
I do not consider having massive hitboxes to be a core tenet of a fighter's identity, and I don't think there's much else to be said about Bugs, because there's not much else Bugs has.
Rick:
As opposed to Bugs, Rick feels as if there was at least an effort made to be made into a coherent, sensible moveset. That said, Rick is still lacking a solid identity, being poorly split between a setplay character with portals, a zoner with Meeseeks, and a support with polymorph. Despite being a mage, his power is heavily derived from his very strong normals, and his specials mainly serve to set rick up for his melee combos.
(Dis)honorable Mention:
Iron Giant: I don't think this one really needs to be explained.
TL;DR: Certain characters hold well designed kits with moves that complement each other and build to one coherent whole. Certain characters get close to this ideal, but harbor setbacks that hamper their identity. Certain characters feel like complete misses in regards to a cohesive playstyle.
To reiterate, my placement of characters of here is not fully indicative of my opinion on their state of balance unless they are relevant to the state of the character's design. I'd love to hear anyone else's thoughts on the matter - poked holes, disagreements, and all.
2024.06.08 10:48 reyezxsalena Pursue a relationship or job opportunity?
I’ve been doing long distance with my partner for over a year and a half now. I’m from the Silicon Valley of California, he’s born and raised from Oahu, Hawaii. We are finally deciding to close the distance and planned for me to move in with him this coming July.
I was apart of the Meta layoffs last June and for the last year(temp jobs here and there) I’ve found trouble finding a new job.
I have yet to find a job on Oahu. Hawaii is the place for hospitality but with 9 years of tech experience I would really be getting a pay cut if I go.
My current temp job offered me a permanent position to be making the most I’ve ever made. Really expand my career, get myself out of financial debt and set myself up for my future. I’ve made a move in my past relationship and it ended terribly. I’m just afraid to make the wrong choice because well, I love, love.
I guess I’m wondering, what would you do? How do you navigate making decisions for your career? For your relationships? Any guidance is appreciated.
submitted by reyezxsalena to careerguidance [link] [comments]
I was apart of the Meta layoffs last June and for the last year(temp jobs here and there) I’ve found trouble finding a new job.
I have yet to find a job on Oahu. Hawaii is the place for hospitality but with 9 years of tech experience I would really be getting a pay cut if I go.
My current temp job offered me a permanent position to be making the most I’ve ever made. Really expand my career, get myself out of financial debt and set myself up for my future. I’ve made a move in my past relationship and it ended terribly. I’m just afraid to make the wrong choice because well, I love, love.
I guess I’m wondering, what would you do? How do you navigate making decisions for your career? For your relationships? Any guidance is appreciated.
2024.06.08 10:48 gothteen145 Manson talking about Pogo's lawsuit in 2008
(Just a segment I found interesting with how nice he is about it here, compared to how angry he was about it in 2009)
First of all, I don’t think any of those items, whether they are true or not can be purchased at a grocery store. To start with, if you just look at the paperwork that is there now – not all of it is, but what is there. This whole dispute in a legal sense has nothing to do with any of the things that are being said about me. It's really a case about accounting. That's the legal side of it. That is what I know first of all. So it hurts me to know that he would actually go there. You know? He must really have some reason to dislike me that I don’t think has anything to do with money. I don’t know because I haven’t talked to him since October 31st of last year. I think he really crossed the line in a way that truly makes me sad, because I didn’t ask for this relationship between him and I to turn out this way. I don’t know what he's thinking because he stopped communicating with me so I can’t explain it. I'm not going to assume and I’m not going to suggest. I just want people to know that whether he likes to admit it or not, he did not return my phone calls. I was paying his phone bill, I saw the bills so I know that his phone was working. I don't know what he was thinking. I just know he was not in the dark about the record being made. For example, we did an interview months and months before the record and to allege that we did it secretly is absurd. Not to mention in the same way that I said I wish Twiggy was around, it was a time in my life where I could have really used a best friend - Someone that I've known for so long.
Aside from all this, I'm not blaming him. It just makes me really sad that when I was down in my worst place, not only did he decide to turn his back, but then go ahead and kick me while I was down. I have no grudges. I just think people can look at it and see that it's really absurd. It's truly, truly absurd. Musicians have a hard time making money when it comes to record labels. The only thing that really helps a musician be able to do this as a living is by being a songwriter. As creative as Pogo has been in the past, or not been in the past, he is not a songwriter. One song that he wrote for the most part, which is an amazing song is Cryptorchid. He’s participated, but unfortunately he did not play the keyboards on The Golden Age of Grotesque, I did. It wasn’t because I wanted to. It was because even then for whatever reason… I can't explain it because I can't speak for him. He didn’t want to be there, or wasn't there. I’m not trying to take credit for it as much as saying I was inspired, I had a good time and I liked playing the keyboards. I don’t want to be a keyboard player though. I don’t really have a way to explain the situation other than it caught me very much by surprise. All I can say is, I assure people that at no point in our entire relationship as friends or as professionals, did I ever, ever take or hold anything, or spend his money. It couldn’t be more the opposite. It’s just sad that I would have done anything for the guy and I really don’t know why he decided to stab me in the back.
First of all, it is shock value. You have to think, “OK, you're Marilyn Manson.” To assume that I have 20 million dollars to begin with is really ridiculous. You know, I could brag and try to pretend by wearing some jewelry or something. But you know, let’s be serious. I should be entitled to buy things, shouldn't I? It’s just purely for the shock value. It's like he spent his money on baboons and this and that, and blah, blah, blah. I really don’t understand why he thinks it has anything to do with him. I really don’t. It doesn’t. I don’t want to get into it further, other than to say, what do you people think that I would spend my money on? Am I not allowed to buy anything? (Manson laughs)
I don’t know - I just work my hardest and I think I know the guy that's in that band Marilyn Manson, but I'm not sure. I know somebody that knows him. It just strikes me as, “What do you spend your money on?" "I don’t know." My only concern is taking care of my family. Other than that, I live in a hotel now, with a new cat. Two cats, a hotel and I'm happy. It's not because I'm destitute because I’m frivolous at times. Right now I'm going to order Caviar and set it on fire, film it and throw the videotapes into the street. The idea that the lawsuit says I spent the money on Phantasmagoria - I hadn’t even started filming it yet, beside the fact that I wouldn't pay for it myself. I mean, I would if I had to, but that right there is absurd. Then the newest one, that I somehow spent his money on paying Evan to be in Heart-Shaped Glasses. I think he made it pretty clear he wasn't involved in that record, so how does it have anything to do with him? I think it’s a lot about shock value. People thought that would work with the Security Guard. The problem is when you walk into a courtroom - the people that sit on that jury, I like to think, are just like me because I don’t think I am above anyone else. I feel like I work very hard for my money. People are not going to sit there, no matter what you say about me and tolerate somebody demanding money that is absurd and completely uncalled for. My mom and my dad, I have to take care of first and foremost. No one is going to come between them and I. I just think that's uncalled for. He crossed a line and that’s worse than anyone else that has sued me. It was never as personal and as out of nowhere.
He never heard Eat Me, Drink Me. Yeah, I remember calling and being like, "Hey, we're remixing the record in a week or so. I really want you to come over and play on it or at least hear it.” “Hey we're doing album artwork and we can't do a band photo since you decided not to respond." Then even up to the point of "Hey, we're doing the video.” No phone call. So, you know, it wasn’t my choice. As much as everyone likes to think I'm a dick, and I am, but I wasn't a dick to him. In fact, that leads me to my strange day today. I spoke to John5 and Mark Chaussee. They both called me to say Happy Birthday, with absolutely no hard feelings there. In fact, if John 5 will not be a pussy and lower his guitar strap down a little bit more, I'll have him come on stage and play songs with us this first show. It would practically be the Holy Wood lineup.
My point being, that John and I saw things a different way, but it's nice that we can talk. We had a very nice conversation today and he was very happy to hear that Twiggy was back. That's what he called to tell me, aside from wishing me a Happy Birthday. It just says a lot. He's a stand-up person and it meant a lot to me. But still, he eats his own cum. I told him that. He won’t deny it.
submitted by gothteen145 to marilyn_manson [link] [comments]
First of all, I don’t think any of those items, whether they are true or not can be purchased at a grocery store. To start with, if you just look at the paperwork that is there now – not all of it is, but what is there. This whole dispute in a legal sense has nothing to do with any of the things that are being said about me. It's really a case about accounting. That's the legal side of it. That is what I know first of all. So it hurts me to know that he would actually go there. You know? He must really have some reason to dislike me that I don’t think has anything to do with money. I don’t know because I haven’t talked to him since October 31st of last year. I think he really crossed the line in a way that truly makes me sad, because I didn’t ask for this relationship between him and I to turn out this way. I don’t know what he's thinking because he stopped communicating with me so I can’t explain it. I'm not going to assume and I’m not going to suggest. I just want people to know that whether he likes to admit it or not, he did not return my phone calls. I was paying his phone bill, I saw the bills so I know that his phone was working. I don't know what he was thinking. I just know he was not in the dark about the record being made. For example, we did an interview months and months before the record and to allege that we did it secretly is absurd. Not to mention in the same way that I said I wish Twiggy was around, it was a time in my life where I could have really used a best friend - Someone that I've known for so long.
Aside from all this, I'm not blaming him. It just makes me really sad that when I was down in my worst place, not only did he decide to turn his back, but then go ahead and kick me while I was down. I have no grudges. I just think people can look at it and see that it's really absurd. It's truly, truly absurd. Musicians have a hard time making money when it comes to record labels. The only thing that really helps a musician be able to do this as a living is by being a songwriter. As creative as Pogo has been in the past, or not been in the past, he is not a songwriter. One song that he wrote for the most part, which is an amazing song is Cryptorchid. He’s participated, but unfortunately he did not play the keyboards on The Golden Age of Grotesque, I did. It wasn’t because I wanted to. It was because even then for whatever reason… I can't explain it because I can't speak for him. He didn’t want to be there, or wasn't there. I’m not trying to take credit for it as much as saying I was inspired, I had a good time and I liked playing the keyboards. I don’t want to be a keyboard player though. I don’t really have a way to explain the situation other than it caught me very much by surprise. All I can say is, I assure people that at no point in our entire relationship as friends or as professionals, did I ever, ever take or hold anything, or spend his money. It couldn’t be more the opposite. It’s just sad that I would have done anything for the guy and I really don’t know why he decided to stab me in the back.
First of all, it is shock value. You have to think, “OK, you're Marilyn Manson.” To assume that I have 20 million dollars to begin with is really ridiculous. You know, I could brag and try to pretend by wearing some jewelry or something. But you know, let’s be serious. I should be entitled to buy things, shouldn't I? It’s just purely for the shock value. It's like he spent his money on baboons and this and that, and blah, blah, blah. I really don’t understand why he thinks it has anything to do with him. I really don’t. It doesn’t. I don’t want to get into it further, other than to say, what do you people think that I would spend my money on? Am I not allowed to buy anything? (Manson laughs)
I don’t know - I just work my hardest and I think I know the guy that's in that band Marilyn Manson, but I'm not sure. I know somebody that knows him. It just strikes me as, “What do you spend your money on?" "I don’t know." My only concern is taking care of my family. Other than that, I live in a hotel now, with a new cat. Two cats, a hotel and I'm happy. It's not because I'm destitute because I’m frivolous at times. Right now I'm going to order Caviar and set it on fire, film it and throw the videotapes into the street. The idea that the lawsuit says I spent the money on Phantasmagoria - I hadn’t even started filming it yet, beside the fact that I wouldn't pay for it myself. I mean, I would if I had to, but that right there is absurd. Then the newest one, that I somehow spent his money on paying Evan to be in Heart-Shaped Glasses. I think he made it pretty clear he wasn't involved in that record, so how does it have anything to do with him? I think it’s a lot about shock value. People thought that would work with the Security Guard. The problem is when you walk into a courtroom - the people that sit on that jury, I like to think, are just like me because I don’t think I am above anyone else. I feel like I work very hard for my money. People are not going to sit there, no matter what you say about me and tolerate somebody demanding money that is absurd and completely uncalled for. My mom and my dad, I have to take care of first and foremost. No one is going to come between them and I. I just think that's uncalled for. He crossed a line and that’s worse than anyone else that has sued me. It was never as personal and as out of nowhere.
He never heard Eat Me, Drink Me. Yeah, I remember calling and being like, "Hey, we're remixing the record in a week or so. I really want you to come over and play on it or at least hear it.” “Hey we're doing album artwork and we can't do a band photo since you decided not to respond." Then even up to the point of "Hey, we're doing the video.” No phone call. So, you know, it wasn’t my choice. As much as everyone likes to think I'm a dick, and I am, but I wasn't a dick to him. In fact, that leads me to my strange day today. I spoke to John5 and Mark Chaussee. They both called me to say Happy Birthday, with absolutely no hard feelings there. In fact, if John 5 will not be a pussy and lower his guitar strap down a little bit more, I'll have him come on stage and play songs with us this first show. It would practically be the Holy Wood lineup.
My point being, that John and I saw things a different way, but it's nice that we can talk. We had a very nice conversation today and he was very happy to hear that Twiggy was back. That's what he called to tell me, aside from wishing me a Happy Birthday. It just says a lot. He's a stand-up person and it meant a lot to me. But still, he eats his own cum. I told him that. He won’t deny it.
2024.06.08 10:46 Capable_Average_1634 Free refills at Starbucks
I have enjoyed the Starbucks Refill deal for years. I always order a green tea. I loved my old Starbucks. They were friendly and never questioned me about the refill. I considered them friends because we often talked. The manager would even sit and talk to me sometimes when I was there alone. I recently had to start going to a new Starbucks. I have gone there about 10 times so far.
Last time I went, the barista told me that I couldn't have a free refill because I left the store. I was shocked. I had ordered my tea and texted a friend to join me to do crafts. She said she could come. My project was out in the car so I left my tea and my phone on the table and went out to get my project bag. I was gone less than 3/5 minutes. A couple hours later, I went to get my free refill. The Barista told me that since I "left the store" earlier, I was no longer eligible for the free refill. I pointed out that I left the store to get something from my car not to go anywhere else And that I left my tea and phone at the table which showed that I was coming back. My friend had also left the store during our visit because she was cold and wanted to get her jacket from her car. He said she was disqualified also. I asked for the manager and was told that HE WAS the MANAGER. I admit I was beyond frustrated. It made no sense. I tried to reason with him but he would not have it.
I asked for the corporate number and when I called the woman assured me that the policy didn't mean you couldn't go to your car for something. After talking to her I felt reassured and hopeful so I returned again today. (I go to Starbucks several times a week ... its my treat to myself) Once I ordered, a friend texted and said they were joining me for crafts. My car was in the first parking space less that 5 feet from the door. I asked a different Barista if I could go to my car and still get a refill later. She said she had to ask her manager who happened to be the original guy from a couple days ago. He said no. I told him I called corporate and they told me that the policy didn't mean I would lose a refill if I went outside for a few minutes. He refused to listen. He told me he didn't appreciate how I talked to him the last time I was there. I agreed with him that I was angry and trying to get my point across but I know I didn't yell at him or call him names. I was just trying to stand up for myself about a policy I had been enjoying for YEARS. I had hopes that someone would correct him after the first time. Instead he had told ALL the other baristas not to allow refills for me if I left the store for any reason.
I'm 64 years old, I am a rule follower, I love people especially young people, I don't want to cause trouble. This experience has taken the joy of going to Starbucks away for the past two visits. Its as though he was looking for a reason to make a deal out of something. Why me? I'm quiet, I clean up after myself, and I am always asking others to join me so I bring in more business. I am one of Starbucks most loyal customers? He seems like a soft spoken, sweet young man except that he is taking the "refills must be in the same visit" literally. Its not like I bought tea in the morning and came back after work for a refill. I literally went out to my car for a couple minutes with the tea still in the store.
On Sunday our craft group is meeting again. I want to go. I don't want to be hassled. I want my free refill. When I needed something from my car today, I asked my friend to get it for me so I wouldn't have to leave the store. This is ridiculous. I'm not a grumpy old lady. But, I do what the perks of having a Starbucks card that I've enjoyed for years. What would you do?
Oh, and when I told him that maybe I should just order the refill right after I order the original tea so that I have freedom to go to my car for a jacket or craft supplies, he said I couldn't do that because I had to finish my first tea before ordering a refill. I can't win!
submitted by Capable_Average_1634 to starbucks [link] [comments]
Last time I went, the barista told me that I couldn't have a free refill because I left the store. I was shocked. I had ordered my tea and texted a friend to join me to do crafts. She said she could come. My project was out in the car so I left my tea and my phone on the table and went out to get my project bag. I was gone less than 3/5 minutes. A couple hours later, I went to get my free refill. The Barista told me that since I "left the store" earlier, I was no longer eligible for the free refill. I pointed out that I left the store to get something from my car not to go anywhere else And that I left my tea and phone at the table which showed that I was coming back. My friend had also left the store during our visit because she was cold and wanted to get her jacket from her car. He said she was disqualified also. I asked for the manager and was told that HE WAS the MANAGER. I admit I was beyond frustrated. It made no sense. I tried to reason with him but he would not have it.
I asked for the corporate number and when I called the woman assured me that the policy didn't mean you couldn't go to your car for something. After talking to her I felt reassured and hopeful so I returned again today. (I go to Starbucks several times a week ... its my treat to myself) Once I ordered, a friend texted and said they were joining me for crafts. My car was in the first parking space less that 5 feet from the door. I asked a different Barista if I could go to my car and still get a refill later. She said she had to ask her manager who happened to be the original guy from a couple days ago. He said no. I told him I called corporate and they told me that the policy didn't mean I would lose a refill if I went outside for a few minutes. He refused to listen. He told me he didn't appreciate how I talked to him the last time I was there. I agreed with him that I was angry and trying to get my point across but I know I didn't yell at him or call him names. I was just trying to stand up for myself about a policy I had been enjoying for YEARS. I had hopes that someone would correct him after the first time. Instead he had told ALL the other baristas not to allow refills for me if I left the store for any reason.
I'm 64 years old, I am a rule follower, I love people especially young people, I don't want to cause trouble. This experience has taken the joy of going to Starbucks away for the past two visits. Its as though he was looking for a reason to make a deal out of something. Why me? I'm quiet, I clean up after myself, and I am always asking others to join me so I bring in more business. I am one of Starbucks most loyal customers? He seems like a soft spoken, sweet young man except that he is taking the "refills must be in the same visit" literally. Its not like I bought tea in the morning and came back after work for a refill. I literally went out to my car for a couple minutes with the tea still in the store.
On Sunday our craft group is meeting again. I want to go. I don't want to be hassled. I want my free refill. When I needed something from my car today, I asked my friend to get it for me so I wouldn't have to leave the store. This is ridiculous. I'm not a grumpy old lady. But, I do what the perks of having a Starbucks card that I've enjoyed for years. What would you do?
Oh, and when I told him that maybe I should just order the refill right after I order the original tea so that I have freedom to go to my car for a jacket or craft supplies, he said I couldn't do that because I had to finish my first tea before ordering a refill. I can't win!
2024.06.08 10:46 RevolutionaryTowel02 He 25M Chose Someone Else Over me 22F. How Does One Get Over Rejection?
A couple weeks ago, this wonderful guy and I were talking over text and FaceTime and he had said he would love to take me out on a date and we decided to go out during that weekend. When we went on the date I had a lot of fun and I assumed he did as well. We were laughing, joking, taking videos and pictures, and overall enjoying each other's company. We did have a couple of lifestyle differences, however, and I remember him saying he was worried he would "negatively influence me." Despite this though, he was a wonderful gentleman and I hadn't felt so connected with a nice guy in a long while! After a couple hours, he prematurely ended the date and offered to order me an Uber home. I told him I arrived safely, thanked him for a wonderful date, and I texted the pictures and videos we took. He hadn't responded the rest of that day, but he texted me the next morning saying something along the lines of "I'm going to be totally honest, I didn't feel romantically connected with you on our date, but I did enjoy our conversations. Best of luck." I was definitely disappointed it didn’t work out, but I guess you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, which is completely okay.
It’s been a few weeks since that, and today, I saw that on Instagram that he posted himself and another young woman who looked around my age with flowers (I assume he got those her), and hugging / cuddling her with a caption along the lines of ‘best date’ or something like that. Of course, I am happy that he found his match! Though, it does sting a bit, I do have to admit. At first, I kept telling myself that maybe I did something wrong, maybe I should’ve worn something else on our date, maybe I should’ve did something different, said something different, but then I realized that sometimes, everything happens for a reason and it’s nobody’s fault. Regardless, I still feel pained because it always seems that others are often chosen over me, and I don’t feel that I’m worthy of genuine romantic love (I know that sounds a little overkill but I can’t help those thoughts from appearing sometimes). How does one get over this type of rejection? Does anyone have any advice or experiences that made them feel less ‘unworthy of love’ in a sense? Thank you ❤️
submitted by RevolutionaryTowel02 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
It’s been a few weeks since that, and today, I saw that on Instagram that he posted himself and another young woman who looked around my age with flowers (I assume he got those her), and hugging / cuddling her with a caption along the lines of ‘best date’ or something like that. Of course, I am happy that he found his match! Though, it does sting a bit, I do have to admit. At first, I kept telling myself that maybe I did something wrong, maybe I should’ve worn something else on our date, maybe I should’ve did something different, said something different, but then I realized that sometimes, everything happens for a reason and it’s nobody’s fault. Regardless, I still feel pained because it always seems that others are often chosen over me, and I don’t feel that I’m worthy of genuine romantic love (I know that sounds a little overkill but I can’t help those thoughts from appearing sometimes). How does one get over this type of rejection? Does anyone have any advice or experiences that made them feel less ‘unworthy of love’ in a sense? Thank you ❤️
2024.06.08 10:45 Mediocre-Following44 I’m scared my (F29) boyfriend (m32) is abusing alcohol. What do I do?
For context, I’ve been dating this guy for a little under a year. He’s honestly a really great guy - he has a great job, he‘s close with his family, he is kinda, funny, he has goals and aspirations for his life that he takes action on daily. He recently just bought a house.
Over the last month, I’ve observed some pretty concerning behavior around alcohol. I personally am not a big drinker. It has nothing to do with religion or morals, I just have never been a fan and don’t enjoy being drunk. I went about 7 years of no-drinking and slowly began indulging in a drink here and there, so the drinking culture of what is “normal” is kinda lost on me. My boyfriend loves to go to bars to hang out with friends, watch a sports game and decompress after work/the week. We live in a cool city so the bars here are actually really unique and fun and I don’t mind hanging out with him and having a beer or just a Diet Coke. I can tell my bf cuts down his typical drinking habits when I’m around and even goes out less than when we were first talking.
The concerning behavior is that anytime he has been drinking heavily - we end up fighting. *shocker* To me, the arguments feel like a simple miscommunication that could be resolved with some consideration and understanding from both of us. Instead, he shuts down and stonewalls me. When I tell him that we need to talk he says that he will just talk to me the following day (Which ends up being 3/4pm because he’s so hungover, and cures the hangover by drinking more). Having these arguments keeps me up late at night with a restless mind and anxious stomach. I’ve told him how all of this makes me feel…yet here I am again at 1:45am.
There have been 3 occasions where instead of trying to resolve the miscommunication, he decides to continue drinking at the bar or with his family. (His family also has alch. abuse, and has made comments about how me not drinking around them makings them feel uncomfortable but diff story for diff day) This makes me feel like he’s choosing to drink over resolving things with me. I am beginning to feel incredibly lonely in this relationship when there is an issue - he checks out and I am left to resolve things on my own.
I want to get married and have a family someday. How am I supposed to feel good about him as my partner if he stonewalls me? And chooses drinking over resolution? Do I want my future kids to see this behavior In their dad?
I think I’ve answered my own question writing this post.
submitted by Mediocre-Following44 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Over the last month, I’ve observed some pretty concerning behavior around alcohol. I personally am not a big drinker. It has nothing to do with religion or morals, I just have never been a fan and don’t enjoy being drunk. I went about 7 years of no-drinking and slowly began indulging in a drink here and there, so the drinking culture of what is “normal” is kinda lost on me. My boyfriend loves to go to bars to hang out with friends, watch a sports game and decompress after work/the week. We live in a cool city so the bars here are actually really unique and fun and I don’t mind hanging out with him and having a beer or just a Diet Coke. I can tell my bf cuts down his typical drinking habits when I’m around and even goes out less than when we were first talking.
The concerning behavior is that anytime he has been drinking heavily - we end up fighting. *shocker* To me, the arguments feel like a simple miscommunication that could be resolved with some consideration and understanding from both of us. Instead, he shuts down and stonewalls me. When I tell him that we need to talk he says that he will just talk to me the following day (Which ends up being 3/4pm because he’s so hungover, and cures the hangover by drinking more). Having these arguments keeps me up late at night with a restless mind and anxious stomach. I’ve told him how all of this makes me feel…yet here I am again at 1:45am.
There have been 3 occasions where instead of trying to resolve the miscommunication, he decides to continue drinking at the bar or with his family. (His family also has alch. abuse, and has made comments about how me not drinking around them makings them feel uncomfortable but diff story for diff day) This makes me feel like he’s choosing to drink over resolving things with me. I am beginning to feel incredibly lonely in this relationship when there is an issue - he checks out and I am left to resolve things on my own.
I want to get married and have a family someday. How am I supposed to feel good about him as my partner if he stonewalls me? And chooses drinking over resolution? Do I want my future kids to see this behavior In their dad?
I think I’ve answered my own question writing this post.
2024.06.08 10:44 quilleyjoel I haven't stopped dreaming about my first love. It's been 8 years since we last spoke.
TW: Selfharm, pregnancy loss
Bear with me because this post is going to be long. I (23f) have regularly dreamed about my first love (26m) at least once a week since we last spoke in 2016. It's been driving me crazy for 8 years.
We met when I was 13 and (for this story's purposes, I'll be changing names) Rafael was 16. I went to a bigger church in the state that was well known, and the years I went there were the most clique-like experiences I've ever had. The culture in this church was basically that you had to project a certain image or you were cut out of the "inner circle" so-to-speak of pastors kids and popular kids, and were shunned/rejected. Unfortunately for me, my shitty childhood combined with a drug-addicted brother and several undiagnosed issues put me on the sidelines with what I guess could have been considered the "bad crowd". When I was 13, my brother (17m at the time) left our house for good after another drug-induced attempt to kill my parents. As a teenager, I didn't handle any of what was happening around me well, and was experiencing a lot of bullying, at home, at school, and especially at church. This is around the time I met Rafael.
My memory is fuzzy on the timelines and details of if it all, but it went something like, he came down from California to live with his dad, and his parents and my parents were church family friends at the time. I can't remember when I first met him or how I came to know/like him, but it turned out that, hey, he liked me too. The usual teenage crush shit. We immediately bonded over our shared family trauma, and went on to develop an extremely unhealthy co-dependant relationship that lasted about 2 years. In the beginning, it was mostly innocent, the usual teenage shit; sneaking around behind my parents' backs because I wasn't allowed to date, stolen glances in church services, writing notes, etc. Things took a turn around the time I turned 14. Unbeknownst to me at the time, though I'm sure it was obvious to anyone outside looking in, I was extremely mentally unwell. Rafael and I trauma-bonded over shared experiences of slf-hrm, which took our already unhealthily obsessive relationship to an entirely new level. Things got worse as I started high-school, going to the same school as him.
My parents were extremely strict. We weren't allowed to have our phones past a certain time at night, everything was monitored, they had our passwords to everything, we weren't allowed to watch TV/movies on weekdays, even our doors were removed sometimes depending on how suspicious they were of something. Well, as I'm sure most of you know, strict parents make sneaky kids. We had a home phone at the time and I would call Rafael every night. Things of course escalated as many teenage relationships do, and I started sneaking him over most nights after my parents went to bed, (don't ask me how I did that, I to this day will never know how I had the balls). As our relationship escalated physically, it skyrocketed emotionally. I was completely infatuated in the most extreme and terrifying way. I was literally ready to go down for this man Bonnie & Clyde style. I used to romanticize how unhealthy our dynamic was, to the point of an extreme obsession with the disapproval others had for our relationship when they found out. Church leaders found out. My parents found out several times. And then, in the midst of it all, I had what could be described as a mental break and had a fully hysterical pregnancy. I was catatonic. Convinced I lost the baby. Convinced I was pregnant and no one could tell me otherwise. Convinced that I had prayed for a miracle and this was it. When I "lost" the baby, I was in mandated therapy at this point, and my therapist was concerned for my safety and she was very right to be.
We were full in. Ready to go down in flames for eachother. Ready to literally die for eachother, and had actually discussed it. At one point, I burned his initial into my arm, and he let me cut part of my name into his chest IN THE MIDDLE OF SCHOOL. If that doesn't tell you everything you need to know, I don't know what would. So time passes, things get more and more intense, and eventually, my mom finds out that we were trying to get pregnant. I was 14 when all of this was happening. School had just let out for summer, and my mom logged into my email account and happened to find a draft to a home for pregnant teens, since my parents were adamant that if I ever got pregnant, they'd kick me out. She left right then, bought a pregnancy test, and made me take it in front of her. Sometime during this, my dad gets home. My mom explains what's going on and he's furious. Up until this point, when they'd found out that we were dating again and again, because they'd catch us and then trust that the consequences of it had caused the relationship to end, my dad had made several threats to Rafael about what he'd do if he ever touched his daughter. In the midst of my mom screaming at me and me crying over a negative pregnancy test in their bathroom, my dad is now walking around in circles in his room with a g*n, praying to God to not let him leave the house.
The next day, I was sent to live with my brother in California for the summer, one of the most traumatic summers of my life, but that's another story. I was cut off from society completely, and when I returned for the start of school a few months later, my parents moved across town, and switched houses, schools, and churches. When I finally got in contact with Rafael again, he was dating someone else, I believe they're married now, and I was so desperate to get him back that I almost broke them up. We spoke one more time my sophomore year until I eventually joined a cult (again, another story) and began coping by diving fully into it. I told him not to contact me again, and we haven't spoken since.
Since then, I've had several relationships. I've gotten married, had a child, got divorced, and in the last few years, finally got on a few medications that gave me the mental clarity to look back over the last 10 years. When I say those were the most embarrassing few months of my life, I mean I truly couldn't get out of bed because I was so disgusted and upset with how mentally unwell I was for so long. Though my life has changed drastically over these last few years, the one constant and frustrating reoccurrence is the fact that he shows up randomly in my dreams about once a week since I was 15. They're not romantic, they're not even necessarily anxiety or dreams of longing, just random dreams where he happens to show up and start talking to me like we're talking normally in real life. Maybe it's just that I wonder how his life ended up. Or maybe I never recovered from how truly chaotic my first love experience was. But I guess the most frustrating part is that I'm on good or neutral terms with all of my exes over the years, and any relationship, platonic or otherwise, that I've had, if it's ended for any reason, we've always cleared the air. But he is the only person in my life that remains completely a mystery.
Recently, a friend of mine saw him in a store and asked me if I've talked to him since. We've both lived in the same city this entire time. It's been 8 years, and we've never spoken. At one point, his (wife?) who I also grew up with in that church showed up in my Facebook friend suggestions and I did try to friend her, but I'm sure it was, understandably, weird given how (oh my god, it was so bad) truly mentally unstable I was in my teenage years and she never responded. I wish I knew when the switch flipped for him and he realized, "oh my god, that relationship was fucking crazy", because I'd love to laugh about it now.
Rafael, wherever you are, I hope you're well. And I really wish you'd stop showing up to laugh over pickles with me in my dreams, lol.
submitted by quilleyjoel to offmychest [link] [comments]
Bear with me because this post is going to be long. I (23f) have regularly dreamed about my first love (26m) at least once a week since we last spoke in 2016. It's been driving me crazy for 8 years.
We met when I was 13 and (for this story's purposes, I'll be changing names) Rafael was 16. I went to a bigger church in the state that was well known, and the years I went there were the most clique-like experiences I've ever had. The culture in this church was basically that you had to project a certain image or you were cut out of the "inner circle" so-to-speak of pastors kids and popular kids, and were shunned/rejected. Unfortunately for me, my shitty childhood combined with a drug-addicted brother and several undiagnosed issues put me on the sidelines with what I guess could have been considered the "bad crowd". When I was 13, my brother (17m at the time) left our house for good after another drug-induced attempt to kill my parents. As a teenager, I didn't handle any of what was happening around me well, and was experiencing a lot of bullying, at home, at school, and especially at church. This is around the time I met Rafael.
My memory is fuzzy on the timelines and details of if it all, but it went something like, he came down from California to live with his dad, and his parents and my parents were church family friends at the time. I can't remember when I first met him or how I came to know/like him, but it turned out that, hey, he liked me too. The usual teenage crush shit. We immediately bonded over our shared family trauma, and went on to develop an extremely unhealthy co-dependant relationship that lasted about 2 years. In the beginning, it was mostly innocent, the usual teenage shit; sneaking around behind my parents' backs because I wasn't allowed to date, stolen glances in church services, writing notes, etc. Things took a turn around the time I turned 14. Unbeknownst to me at the time, though I'm sure it was obvious to anyone outside looking in, I was extremely mentally unwell. Rafael and I trauma-bonded over shared experiences of slf-hrm, which took our already unhealthily obsessive relationship to an entirely new level. Things got worse as I started high-school, going to the same school as him.
My parents were extremely strict. We weren't allowed to have our phones past a certain time at night, everything was monitored, they had our passwords to everything, we weren't allowed to watch TV/movies on weekdays, even our doors were removed sometimes depending on how suspicious they were of something. Well, as I'm sure most of you know, strict parents make sneaky kids. We had a home phone at the time and I would call Rafael every night. Things of course escalated as many teenage relationships do, and I started sneaking him over most nights after my parents went to bed, (don't ask me how I did that, I to this day will never know how I had the balls). As our relationship escalated physically, it skyrocketed emotionally. I was completely infatuated in the most extreme and terrifying way. I was literally ready to go down for this man Bonnie & Clyde style. I used to romanticize how unhealthy our dynamic was, to the point of an extreme obsession with the disapproval others had for our relationship when they found out. Church leaders found out. My parents found out several times. And then, in the midst of it all, I had what could be described as a mental break and had a fully hysterical pregnancy. I was catatonic. Convinced I lost the baby. Convinced I was pregnant and no one could tell me otherwise. Convinced that I had prayed for a miracle and this was it. When I "lost" the baby, I was in mandated therapy at this point, and my therapist was concerned for my safety and she was very right to be.
We were full in. Ready to go down in flames for eachother. Ready to literally die for eachother, and had actually discussed it. At one point, I burned his initial into my arm, and he let me cut part of my name into his chest IN THE MIDDLE OF SCHOOL. If that doesn't tell you everything you need to know, I don't know what would. So time passes, things get more and more intense, and eventually, my mom finds out that we were trying to get pregnant. I was 14 when all of this was happening. School had just let out for summer, and my mom logged into my email account and happened to find a draft to a home for pregnant teens, since my parents were adamant that if I ever got pregnant, they'd kick me out. She left right then, bought a pregnancy test, and made me take it in front of her. Sometime during this, my dad gets home. My mom explains what's going on and he's furious. Up until this point, when they'd found out that we were dating again and again, because they'd catch us and then trust that the consequences of it had caused the relationship to end, my dad had made several threats to Rafael about what he'd do if he ever touched his daughter. In the midst of my mom screaming at me and me crying over a negative pregnancy test in their bathroom, my dad is now walking around in circles in his room with a g*n, praying to God to not let him leave the house.
The next day, I was sent to live with my brother in California for the summer, one of the most traumatic summers of my life, but that's another story. I was cut off from society completely, and when I returned for the start of school a few months later, my parents moved across town, and switched houses, schools, and churches. When I finally got in contact with Rafael again, he was dating someone else, I believe they're married now, and I was so desperate to get him back that I almost broke them up. We spoke one more time my sophomore year until I eventually joined a cult (again, another story) and began coping by diving fully into it. I told him not to contact me again, and we haven't spoken since.
Since then, I've had several relationships. I've gotten married, had a child, got divorced, and in the last few years, finally got on a few medications that gave me the mental clarity to look back over the last 10 years. When I say those were the most embarrassing few months of my life, I mean I truly couldn't get out of bed because I was so disgusted and upset with how mentally unwell I was for so long. Though my life has changed drastically over these last few years, the one constant and frustrating reoccurrence is the fact that he shows up randomly in my dreams about once a week since I was 15. They're not romantic, they're not even necessarily anxiety or dreams of longing, just random dreams where he happens to show up and start talking to me like we're talking normally in real life. Maybe it's just that I wonder how his life ended up. Or maybe I never recovered from how truly chaotic my first love experience was. But I guess the most frustrating part is that I'm on good or neutral terms with all of my exes over the years, and any relationship, platonic or otherwise, that I've had, if it's ended for any reason, we've always cleared the air. But he is the only person in my life that remains completely a mystery.
Recently, a friend of mine saw him in a store and asked me if I've talked to him since. We've both lived in the same city this entire time. It's been 8 years, and we've never spoken. At one point, his (wife?) who I also grew up with in that church showed up in my Facebook friend suggestions and I did try to friend her, but I'm sure it was, understandably, weird given how (oh my god, it was so bad) truly mentally unstable I was in my teenage years and she never responded. I wish I knew when the switch flipped for him and he realized, "oh my god, that relationship was fucking crazy", because I'd love to laugh about it now.
Rafael, wherever you are, I hope you're well. And I really wish you'd stop showing up to laugh over pickles with me in my dreams, lol.
2024.06.08 10:44 Top_Stress_3867 Feeling so emotional about being a new mom
I truly didn’t know life could be so good.
I had a really rough childhood. I was beaten and yelled at by my mom most days. Even the most minor incident would set her off.
While I was never suicidal, I definitely never pictured what my future would hold. I was just trying to survive each day.
I sit here now in my warm bed with my beautiful 2 month old daughter on my chest with my amazing husband next to me tearing up over how utterly beautiful life has become. I can’t help but fall more in love with my precious chunk as the days go on. It’s scary because she looks so much like me as a baby. In a way I feel like I’m getting a second start to life. While I won’t project my hopes and desires onto her, I want to support her and give her the best childhood and life that I can.
I want to do my best to do right by her everyday and hopefully teach her to be a good person.
Everyday I wonder what on Earth I did to deserve this beautiful life?
submitted by Top_Stress_3867 to NewParents [link] [comments]
I had a really rough childhood. I was beaten and yelled at by my mom most days. Even the most minor incident would set her off.
While I was never suicidal, I definitely never pictured what my future would hold. I was just trying to survive each day.
I sit here now in my warm bed with my beautiful 2 month old daughter on my chest with my amazing husband next to me tearing up over how utterly beautiful life has become. I can’t help but fall more in love with my precious chunk as the days go on. It’s scary because she looks so much like me as a baby. In a way I feel like I’m getting a second start to life. While I won’t project my hopes and desires onto her, I want to support her and give her the best childhood and life that I can.
I want to do my best to do right by her everyday and hopefully teach her to be a good person.
Everyday I wonder what on Earth I did to deserve this beautiful life?
2024.06.08 10:44 Special-Fun518 [ALL] Sign Language finally added to Zelda
![[ALL] Sign Language finally added to Zelda](https://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/xcHOBxVHF-Of_1hDLnENl4-bCwuUl0BBb18CK5VOKQ0.jpg "[ALL] Sign Language finally added to Zelda") | https://preview.redd.it/2481ccw39b5d1.png?width=2068&format=png&auto=webp&s=8160a74f22bac77b6cd2920e1271143fdeef0b03 submitted by Special-Fun518 to zelda [link] [comments] I am not sure if you actually realized that Josha expressed with her left hand to sign "I love you" to support the world of game by including sign language. I would love to see how every Korok seed signing, "Bye!" to suggest they can do more. That's why I play Zelda, one of your deaf Zelda fans. |
2024.06.08 10:43 caleafornias Fresh balayage
 | I really love how the colour adds so much dimension! My hair is blow-dried in this picture but I usually follow the curly girl method because it's naturally wavy: in the shower I wash it with sulfate-free shampoo, apply a deep-conditioning hair mask for 10-15 mins and run a wide-toothed comb through it to detangle while the strands are slick, then rinse out the mask and follow up with conditioner. After my shower I gently squeeze most of the water out of my hair with a micro fibre towel, and then scrunch in some leave-in conditioner + lightweight curl gel and let it air dry. Then I just add a bit of argan oil for shine and frizz-control once it's dry 😄 submitted by caleafornias to longhair [link] [comments] |
2024.06.08 10:43 NyanNyora I've got Kuromi and My Melody from Onegai My Melody, But, Where can I find Cinnamon roll and Pompompurin? And help me figure out how to organize my crappy collection for... Aesthetic? Style? Trend? Whatever the case is, I need suggestions.
I've checked with my local Amazon but Cinnamonroll is over $100+ USD, while Pompompurin is nowhere in stock. Is it safe to buy it from a third party seller from Mercari, eBay or...
AliExpress...?
I'm slowly gaining a Sanrio collection but also I want to buy Amnesia Characters from the otome/Visual novel game from Amnesia Memories before it sells out for preorder!
However my shelf is super small, and I have a small Apartment! Another thing is...
Should I open them or leave in the box like a collector item??? I've only brought nendroid as an home accessory to my room but my room doesn't have a style, overall plain and messy organized with other stuffs that included my 3Ds/Switch game collection, then it has my random mix plushy from different fandom of anime and cartoon or gifted from my parents for my birthday or graduation from last year. It's inconsistent of Pokemon, bleach, Danganronpa, vocaloid, a stuffed white polar bear graduation plush that is wearing a picture frame, share bear plush *The 2020 cartoon version from Walgreens/Target plush, cardcaptor Sakura. A bad mix of plushies/keychains (I have a vapereon, sleeping Jigglypuff 30inch plush, Ichigo, Izuru, (Miku laying down and syaoran sega plush from Toreba app game I've won), Pokemon movie manga, Miraculous Ladybug manga. And a my melody PVC bank. And my Miku Hatsune Otamatone *39.99 USD one. Also it has my cat ashes and his paw printed on clay stone with samples of his fur. And it's a lil shrine of him with a picture.
I do want to note I can't have anymore shelves or a new one because my room is small and limited to what I can store. I don't want to put my stuff in a garage because I shared with a neighbor and rats are roaming in it, including other creepy crawlies. Yeah, I live in a small apartment where my landlord likes the idea to share a garage. Dunno why when they have a huge car that parks in the middle! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Not sure if the package of my nendroid will affect the package inside because of a defect of the material that was seal in? I honestly don't care for value but what do you guys do with it? Do I keep the box after opening, don't open it? What do I do? Yes I'm new to this. I brought them last year and haven't open them. I think it's a bit dusty since I've haven't touch it, was too scared to clean it because I'm sure it will soak the beautiful box print. 💦
Please help me with this, should I open it, or leave it? I'm admitting I'm not a collector but I know a lot of my friends never open there's. My cousin is crying over to open it but I told her no. She asked me a reason why not, I can't tell because I don't know myself and that the only thing I've told her was, it wasn't a toy. Of come she got mad and told on me, but I didn't know if I should let her or not. 💦
Can you end this inner debate for me guys? I can't seem to make up my mind. I can store my stuff for more room, by shoving it in a container and slide it under my bed? Eh, whaddya I do...?
┐(´д)┌ Beats me, I guess. ┐(‘～;)┌
VERY SERIOUS QUESTION AND WOULD YOU OR WOULDN'T YOU DO?
If I were to die, where will my collection go? Donate? Give it away? Or bury it with my body? This is a serious question that I want to know in case somethimg natural happen! What would you guys do if you have over $10k or more worth of nendroid and your gone one day? Would you leave a note saying to give it away, donate or bury it with ya?
All honesty, I don't always spend my money on this stuff, yet I carelessly spend it on video games or cheap bootleg quality merch from third party sellers like Amazon, Etsy, or sometimes Aliexpress. But it's because I really love the quality on the nendroid soo much, I can't believe it but is it really true it's handmade, the paint I mean? And I was hoping for a Precure Nendroid in the future~ I will waste all my money on Precure and go bankrupt/homeless. XD
Also, if you know a safest way to clean a nendroid box, please comment! I need answers without too much damage! Again, not a collector, just like to display for fun and comfort.
submitted by NyanNyora to Nendoroid [link] [comments]
AliExpress...?
I'm slowly gaining a Sanrio collection but also I want to buy Amnesia Characters from the otome/Visual novel game from Amnesia Memories before it sells out for preorder!
However my shelf is super small, and I have a small Apartment! Another thing is...
Should I open them or leave in the box like a collector item??? I've only brought nendroid as an home accessory to my room but my room doesn't have a style, overall plain and messy organized with other stuffs that included my 3Ds/Switch game collection, then it has my random mix plushy from different fandom of anime and cartoon or gifted from my parents for my birthday or graduation from last year. It's inconsistent of Pokemon, bleach, Danganronpa, vocaloid, a stuffed white polar bear graduation plush that is wearing a picture frame, share bear plush *The 2020 cartoon version from Walgreens/Target plush, cardcaptor Sakura. A bad mix of plushies/keychains (I have a vapereon, sleeping Jigglypuff 30inch plush, Ichigo, Izuru, (Miku laying down and syaoran sega plush from Toreba app game I've won), Pokemon movie manga, Miraculous Ladybug manga. And a my melody PVC bank. And my Miku Hatsune Otamatone *39.99 USD one. Also it has my cat ashes and his paw printed on clay stone with samples of his fur. And it's a lil shrine of him with a picture.
I do want to note I can't have anymore shelves or a new one because my room is small and limited to what I can store. I don't want to put my stuff in a garage because I shared with a neighbor and rats are roaming in it, including other creepy crawlies. Yeah, I live in a small apartment where my landlord likes the idea to share a garage. Dunno why when they have a huge car that parks in the middle! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Not sure if the package of my nendroid will affect the package inside because of a defect of the material that was seal in? I honestly don't care for value but what do you guys do with it? Do I keep the box after opening, don't open it? What do I do? Yes I'm new to this. I brought them last year and haven't open them. I think it's a bit dusty since I've haven't touch it, was too scared to clean it because I'm sure it will soak the beautiful box print. 💦
Please help me with this, should I open it, or leave it? I'm admitting I'm not a collector but I know a lot of my friends never open there's. My cousin is crying over to open it but I told her no. She asked me a reason why not, I can't tell because I don't know myself and that the only thing I've told her was, it wasn't a toy. Of come she got mad and told on me, but I didn't know if I should let her or not. 💦
Can you end this inner debate for me guys? I can't seem to make up my mind. I can store my stuff for more room, by shoving it in a container and slide it under my bed? Eh, whaddya I do...?
┐(´д)┌ Beats me, I guess. ┐(‘～;)┌
VERY SERIOUS QUESTION AND WOULD YOU OR WOULDN'T YOU DO?
If I were to die, where will my collection go? Donate? Give it away? Or bury it with my body? This is a serious question that I want to know in case somethimg natural happen! What would you guys do if you have over $10k or more worth of nendroid and your gone one day? Would you leave a note saying to give it away, donate or bury it with ya?
All honesty, I don't always spend my money on this stuff, yet I carelessly spend it on video games or cheap bootleg quality merch from third party sellers like Amazon, Etsy, or sometimes Aliexpress. But it's because I really love the quality on the nendroid soo much, I can't believe it but is it really true it's handmade, the paint I mean? And I was hoping for a Precure Nendroid in the future~ I will waste all my money on Precure and go bankrupt/homeless. XD
Also, if you know a safest way to clean a nendroid box, please comment! I need answers without too much damage! Again, not a collector, just like to display for fun and comfort.
2024.06.08 10:41 Human_Welder_6608 Hi I am 23M, and my colleague who 23F. Need to change my mindset or what?
Hi I am 23M, and my colleague who 23F. She is not well in groups, but she is good when you speak in person. At first we started our convo by having a same interest in Anime after I suggested her an Anime to watch. Things went well. One day while texing I taught she didn't like the way I speak and I avoider her for 2 months. I didn't text her and talk in person.
In our team we have this concept of the remaining willing team members buying a gift for the birthday guy. Like that her birthday came and I contributed my part for her birthday present too.
After a week she messaged me and asked why I didn't wish for her birthday and why i am not to her well like before. I felt guilty and talked to her again. 3 months went well. We chat daily not deep convo but sharing anime related contents.
One day I told her my past relationship story. That night while texting she didn't reply for a message...she had slept. I misunderstood like she taught Like I was taking advantage and asked her why you didn't reply the last night and she said like I slept, so I didn't see the chat. After this she didn't speak much and I asked her why, she said that "I feel like I was close to you..whenever there is a group I feel like I am always next to you. I feel what others will say. Even in my college days I fear like when I talk to a boy my friends will tease me. I also wanted to speak with others.". I taught that she don't want to speak with me as she has an interest in one of my other colleague. So I questioned her like that. Even she said like that is not the case everyone are friends to me, I questioned like that.
After a month of this misunderstanding going on, I deciced to confess my love and I proposed her, she rejected me and said not to disturb her again. She also said that this friendship makes me feel unconformtable. She bocked me in whatsapp. After 8 months I was convinced that I have been toxic in the friendship, and I tried to speak with her and message her in telegram she blocked in telegram also. I am in a confusion like I had been toxic or my assumptions are correct, since now she is close with that colleague.
I am in a very very confused state even after 8 months. I don't know it's an insecurity of me like she will be attached to that colleague which made me to act toxic or whether my intuitions are correct. One day I convinced that I had been toxic, one day I feel like my assumptions are correct. What should I do. we are in the same work place..I feel jealous when she talks to him. I wanted to focus on myself but I can't.
submitted by Human_Welder_6608 to RelationshipIndia [link] [comments]
In our team we have this concept of the remaining willing team members buying a gift for the birthday guy. Like that her birthday came and I contributed my part for her birthday present too.
After a week she messaged me and asked why I didn't wish for her birthday and why i am not to her well like before. I felt guilty and talked to her again. 3 months went well. We chat daily not deep convo but sharing anime related contents.
One day I told her my past relationship story. That night while texting she didn't reply for a message...she had slept. I misunderstood like she taught Like I was taking advantage and asked her why you didn't reply the last night and she said like I slept, so I didn't see the chat. After this she didn't speak much and I asked her why, she said that "I feel like I was close to you..whenever there is a group I feel like I am always next to you. I feel what others will say. Even in my college days I fear like when I talk to a boy my friends will tease me. I also wanted to speak with others.". I taught that she don't want to speak with me as she has an interest in one of my other colleague. So I questioned her like that. Even she said like that is not the case everyone are friends to me, I questioned like that.
After a month of this misunderstanding going on, I deciced to confess my love and I proposed her, she rejected me and said not to disturb her again. She also said that this friendship makes me feel unconformtable. She bocked me in whatsapp. After 8 months I was convinced that I have been toxic in the friendship, and I tried to speak with her and message her in telegram she blocked in telegram also. I am in a confusion like I had been toxic or my assumptions are correct, since now she is close with that colleague.
I am in a very very confused state even after 8 months. I don't know it's an insecurity of me like she will be attached to that colleague which made me to act toxic or whether my intuitions are correct. One day I convinced that I had been toxic, one day I feel like my assumptions are correct. What should I do. we are in the same work place..I feel jealous when she talks to him. I wanted to focus on myself but I can't.
2024.06.08 10:41 Sweet-Count2557 12 Great Parks for Kids Birthday Parties Around La
 | 12 Great Parks for Kids Birthday Parties Around La Are you aware that Los Angeles is home to over 400 parks?With so many options, it can be overwhelming to find the perfect park for your child's birthday party. But fear not! We have done the research for you and narrowed it down to 12 great parks that are sure to make your little one's special day unforgettable.From scenic trails and ocean views to skate parks and vintage recreation centers, there is something for every child's interest.So, if you're ready to discover the best parks in LA for kids birthday parties, keep reading.Key TakeawaysThe Westside of LA offers several parks with amenities such as trails, picnic tables, barbecues, and green lawns, making them great options for kids' birthday parties.The Valleys also have a variety of parks with features like lakes, playgrounds, and picnic areas, providing ample space for outdoor birthday celebrations.The South Bay area offers parks with beach-themed party options, including sandy beaches, playgrounds, and fishing spots, adding a unique twist to kids' birthday parties.Van Nuys and Encino have parks that offer activities like fishing, bike rentals, paddle boat rentals, and guided tours, providing additional entertainment options for birthday parties.Will Rogers–Pacific PalisadesLocated in the picturesque Pacific Palisades, Will Rogers Park offers a variety of amenities and activities perfect for hosting an unforgettable kids birthday party. It's one of the best parks for birthday parties near me.With its beautiful trails, horse rentals, shaded picnic tables, barbecues, and a green lawn for games and fun, Will Rogers Park provides everything you need to create a memorable celebration.When it comes to planning a birthday party, location is key. Will Rogers Park's stunning natural surroundings provide the perfect backdrop for a day of outdoor fun. Kids can explore the park's trails, go on horseback rides, or simply enjoy running around on the expansive green lawn. The park also offers shaded picnic tables and barbecues, making it easy to set up a delicious spread for your guests.In addition to the scenic beauty and amenities, Will Rogers Park also offers the convenience of reservations. This means that you can secure your spot and ensure that everything is ready for your child's special day. No need to worry about finding a space or dealing with overcrowding – Will Rogers Park has got you covered.Malibu Bluffs Park–MalibuMalibu Bluffs Park in Malibu offers a stunning view of the Pacific Ocean and a range of amenities for a memorable kids birthday party. This park is perfect for those who want to celebrate amidst the natural beauty of the coast. With its expansive ocean view, Malibu Bluffs Park provides a picturesque backdrop that will make your party truly special.One of the highlights of this park is its variety of amenities. There are trails where kids can explore and have fun, a jungle gym for them to climb and play on, and picnic tables where you can set up a delicious spread for the birthday celebration. If you want to have a barbecue, the park offers permits for that as well. Imagine grilling up some burgers and hot dogs while enjoying the fresh ocean breeze.For those looking to add some extra excitement to the party, bounce houses are allowed at Malibu Bluffs Park with a small fee. This can be a great way to keep the kids entertained and active throughout the celebration. Just imagine the joy on their faces as they jump and bounce to their heart's content.While Malibu Bluffs Park may not offer much shade, the breathtaking view and the range of amenities make it a top choice for kids birthday parties. So if you're searching for parks for parties near me, consider Malibu Bluffs Park in Malibu. It's a perfect place to create lasting memories and celebrate your child's special day in a beautiful and fun-filled setting.Rustic Canyon Recreation Center–Santa MonicaAt Rustic Canyon Recreation Center in Santa Monica, families can enjoy a variety of amenities and activities for a memorable kids birthday party. This hidden gem offers the perfect blend of nature and fun, providing a unique and exciting experience for children of all ages.Shaded Picnic Tables: Imagine sitting under a canopy of trees, enjoying a delicious birthday cake and snacks while the kids run around and play. The shaded picnic tables at Rustic Canyon Recreation Center provide the perfect spot for families to relax and enjoy the festivities.Barbecues: The aroma of sizzling burgers and hot dogs fills the air as families gather around the barbecues to cook up a tasty feast. The park provides designated barbecue areas, allowing parents to show off their grilling skills and create a delicious meal for everyone to enjoy.Vintage Recreation Center: Step back in time as you enter the vintage recreation center, a charming and nostalgic venue for birthday parties. With its rustic charm and unique atmosphere, this historic building adds a touch of whimsy to any celebration. The center can be rented out for private parties, providing a cozy and intimate space for kids to have fun and make lasting memories.At Rustic Canyon Recreation Center, the possibilities for a fun-filled birthday party are endless. From playing sports on the basketball, baseball, tennis, and volleyball courts, to exploring the scenic trails and open green spaces, there's something for everyone to enjoy.Venice Beach Recreation Center–VeniceWe were thrilled to discover the vibrant and lively atmosphere at Venice Beach Recreation Center in Venice, making it an ideal location for an unforgettable kids birthday party. This beachfront park offers a unique surf-themed experience that will have children and parents alike feeling the freedom of the ocean.One of the highlights of Venice Beach Recreation Center is the jungle gym, which provides endless opportunities for children to climb, slide, and explore. It's a great way for kids to burn off energy and have fun with their friends. And if they're feeling adventurous, they can even try their hand at the nearby skate park, where they can watch skilled skateboarders and BMX riders show off their tricks.The live surfers at Venice Beach Recreation Center add to the excitement and create an authentic beach atmosphere. Children can watch them ride the waves and maybe even get inspired to try surfing themselves. It's a great way to introduce kids to the joy of being in the water and experiencing the freedom of the ocean.Although there's limited shade at the park, this allows for an open and spacious environment where kids can run around freely. And while barbecues and bounce houses aren't allowed, there are plenty of picnic areas where families can gather for a delicious birthday feast.Carlson Park–Culver CityAfter enjoying the vibrant and lively atmosphere at Venice Beach Recreation Center, we were excited to explore another fantastic park for kids birthday parties in the Los Angeles area: Carlson Park in Culver City. As we stepped into Carlson Park, we were immediately captivated by its charm and beauty.Here are three reasons why we fell in love with this park:Serene Shaded Areas: Carlson Park is adorned with covered picnic areas that provide a cool and shaded spot for birthday celebrations. The dappled sunlight filters through the trees, creating a peaceful and relaxed ambiance. It's the perfect setting for parents and kids to gather and enjoy the festivities.Spacious Fields: The vast open fields at Carlson Park offer endless possibilities for outdoor games and activities. Whether it's a game of soccer, tag, or a friendly race, there's plenty of room for kids to run around and have a blast. The freedom to engage in various games adds excitement and joy to any birthday party.Grilling Goodness: One of the highlights of Carlson Park is the availability of grills for barbecues. The tantalizing aroma of sizzling burgers and hot dogs fills the air, enticing everyone to gather around and indulge in delicious food. Grilling adds a flavorful touch to the celebration and brings people together in a spirit of camaraderie.Barrington Park–BrentwoodNestled in the heart of Brentwood, Barrington Park offers a picturesque setting for kids' birthday parties with its spacious fenced-in lawn space. This park is a hidden gem that provides the perfect backdrop for children to celebrate their special day. The expansive lawn area allows for endless possibilities, whether you want to set up picnic tables with colorful decorations or bring in exciting bounce houses for added fun.One of the standout features of Barrington Park is its fenced-in lawn, which provides a sense of security and freedom for kids to run around and play without any worries. The lush green grass creates a vibrant atmosphere, and the surrounding trees offer some shade for those hot summer days. Parents can relax and enjoy the festivities while keeping a watchful eye on their little ones.If you decide to bring in a bounce house for the party, please note that it must come from approved companies. This ensures the safety and well-being of all the children attending the celebration. Additionally, while on-site barbecues aren't allowed, you can still bring in delicious food and snacks to satisfy everyone's appetites.The location of Barrington Park in Brentwood is also a huge plus for parents planning a kids' birthday party. It's conveniently located and easily accessible, making it convenient for guests to attend. Plus, the park offers ample parking space, so you won't have to worry about finding a spot for your car.Burton Chace Park–Marina Del ReyContinuing our exploration of parks for kids' birthday parties in LA, let's now turn our attention to Burton Chace Park in Marina Del Rey. This park is a true gem and offers a variety of features that will make any child's birthday party unforgettable. Here are three reasons why Burton Chace Park is the perfect choice for a fun and freedom-filled celebration:Views of the Pacific Ocean: Imagine the ocean breeze in your hair and the sound of waves crashing as you celebrate your child's special day. Burton Chace Park offers stunning views of the Pacific Ocean, creating a picturesque backdrop for the festivities. The sight of the sparkling water will add a sense of adventure and freedom to the party atmosphere.Multi-purpose rooms and covered picnic tables: This park understands the importance of providing spaces for celebrations. With its multi-purpose rooms and covered picnic tables, Burton Chace Park ensures that your party has plenty of room to spread out and enjoy the festivities. Whether you need a space for games, presents, or enjoying a delicious birthday cake, this park has you covered.Sea lions entertainment: One of the unique attractions at Burton Chace Park is the presence of sea lions. These playful creatures can often be seen lounging on the docks or swimming in the marina. Kids will be delighted by their antics and will have the opportunity to observe them up close. The sea lions add an element of excitement and wonder to the party, creating memories that will last a lifetime.With its stunning ocean views, ample space for celebrations, and entertaining sea lions, Burton Chace Park is a fantastic choice for kids' birthday parties. It offers the perfect combination of freedom, fun, and natural beauty, ensuring that your child's special day is truly unforgettable.Kenneth Hahn State Recreation Area–Culver CityWe are excited to explore the Kenneth Hahn State Recreation Area in Culver City, a hidden gem for kids' birthday parties in LA. This urban oasis offers a variety of amenities that will make any celebration a memorable one.One of the highlights of the park is the picnic areas near the playgrounds, providing a convenient and fun space for kids to enjoy their special day. The shaded picnic tables provide relief from the California sun, allowing guests to relax and enjoy the festivities.In addition to the picnic areas, the park also features trails that are perfect for exploring. Kids can embark on an adventure, discovering the wonders of nature as they hike through the park's beautiful landscapes. The trails offer a great opportunity for children to learn about the environment and the importance of preserving it.Another unique feature of Kenneth Hahn State Recreation Area is the Japanese garden. This serene and tranquil space provides a beautiful backdrop for birthday parties, adding a touch of elegance and sophistication to the celebration. Guests can take a stroll through the garden, immersing themselves in its beauty and tranquility.It's important to note that parking isn't free on weekends, so be sure to plan accordingly. However, the park's many amenities and stunning scenery make it well worth the visit. Whether you're looking for a place to host an action-packed party or a more relaxed and intimate gathering, Kenneth Hahn State Recreation Area has something for everyone.Roxbury Park–Beverly HillsRoxbury Park in Beverly Hills offers a charming and sophisticated setting for kids' birthday parties. This park is known for its elegant atmosphere and beautiful surroundings. Here are three reasons why Roxbury Park is the perfect place to celebrate your child's special day:Lawn Bowling: Imagine the joy on your child's face as they try their hand at lawn bowling in this picturesque park. The lush green lawn, trimmed to perfection, provides the ideal backdrop for a friendly game with friends and family. The sound of laughter and the clinking of bowls will create unforgettable memories for everyone involved.Croquet: Step back in time and introduce your child to the classic game of croquet. The perfectly manicured croquet court at Roxbury Park offers a unique and engaging experience for partygoers. Watch as they navigate the course, strategizing and competing in a game that has been enjoyed for generations.Putting Greens: For little golf enthusiasts, Roxbury Park boasts well-maintained putting greens that are sure to delight. Set up mini golf stations and let the kids practice their swings and putts. With each successful shot, their confidence will soar, and they'll feel like champions on their special day.With its sophisticated ambiance and a variety of activities to choose from, Roxbury Park is a haven for kids and adults alike. Reserve a shaded picnic table and take advantage of the park's barbecues to create a delicious feast for your guests. While bounce houses aren't allowed, the park's elegant offerings more than make up for it. Celebrate your child's birthday in style at Roxbury Park, where freedom and fun go hand in hand.Pan Pacific Park–Los AngelesLocated in the heart of Los Angeles, Pan Pacific Park is a vibrant and versatile destination for kids' birthday parties. With its central location and various amenities, it offers a great space for children to celebrate their special day.Pan Pacific Park provides two different reservable areas, allowing for flexibility in planning. Whether you prefer a cozy gazebo or a spacious barbecue area, the park has options to suit your needs. This freedom enables you to create the perfect party atmosphere and tailor it to your child's preferences.The park's amenities make it an excellent choice for entertaining young guests. The open grassy areas provide plenty of space for games and activities, while the playgrounds offer endless fun for children of all ages. The shady picnic areas offer a comfortable spot for guests to relax and enjoy refreshments. Additionally, the park provides restroom facilities, ensuring convenience for both children and adults.One of the highlights of Pan Pacific Park is its vibrant atmosphere. Surrounded by the energy of the city, it creates a lively and dynamic backdrop for birthday celebrations. The park's central location also allows for easy accessibility, making it convenient for guests to attend the party.Lake Balboa Park–Van NuysNestled in the heart of Van Nuys, Lake Balboa Park offers a picturesque setting for kids' birthday parties. It boasts a serene lake, expansive playgrounds, and charming picnic areas. This park is a place where freedom and imagination can run wild, creating unforgettable memories for children and parents alike.Crystal-clear Lake: Imagine the shimmering water reflecting the bright blue sky, as kids giggle and splash in the refreshing lake. The gentle breeze carries the sound of laughter and the joyful screams of excitement as they paddle around in paddle boats, feeling the thrill of exploration and adventure.Playgrounds of Wonder: Picture the vibrant playgrounds, filled with colorful slides, swings, and climbing structures, inviting children to climb, slide, and swing to their heart's content. Their laughter echoes through the air as they race each other, conquer obstacles, and let their imaginations soar.Charming Picnic Areas: Envision the tranquil picnic areas, shaded by tall trees and dotted with cozy benches and tables. Families gather together, sharing delicious homemade treats and laughter, while children run and play, their energy seemingly boundless. The scent of freshly cut grass and the sounds of nature create a serene ambiance, allowing everyone to relax and enjoy the freedom of the moment.Lake Balboa Park provides the perfect backdrop for a birthday celebration that embraces the spirit of freedom and joy. From the sparkling lake to the exciting playgrounds and peaceful picnic areas, every aspect of this park invites children to explore, create, and have fun. So, if you're looking for a place where your child's imagination can roam free and where memories can be made, Lake Balboa Park is the ideal choice for your next birthday party.Woodley Park–Van NuysWe were excited to explore Woodley Park in Van Nuys, a vibrant and family-friendly destination for kids' birthday parties. As we entered the park, we were immediately greeted by the beautiful surroundings. The park features a serene lake, perfect for a relaxing boat ride or fishing adventure. The picnic areas were plentiful, offering ample space for families to gather and celebrate. We found shaded spots under the trees, providing relief from the sun on a hot day.Woodley Park also boasts a fantastic playground, complete with swings, slides, and climbing structures. The kids were thrilled to explore the various play areas and let their imaginations run wild. The park even has cricket fields, providing an opportunity for older kids to engage in a friendly game.One of the highlights of Woodley Park is the Japanese garden. It's a tranquil and peaceful space, ideal for reflection and quiet moments. The carefully manicured plants and serene pond create a serene atmosphere that transports you to a different world.We were pleased to discover that Woodley Park doesn't allow bounce houses, as it preserves the peaceful ambiance of the park. Instead, families can focus on enjoying the natural beauty and engaging in outdoor activities.Frequently Asked QuestionsAre Bounce Houses Allowed at Any of the Parks Mentioned?Yes, bounce houses are allowed at some of the parks mentioned.For example, Barrington Park in Brentwood allows bounce houses, but they must come from approved companies.However, there are also parks where bounce houses aren't permitted, such as Venice Beach Recreation Center in Venice and Lake Balboa Park in Van Nuys.It's important to check the specific park's rules and regulations regarding bounce houses before planning your kids' birthday party.Are Reservations Required for Birthday Parties at These Parks?Reservations for birthday parties at these parks vary.Some parks, like Will Rogers–Pacific Palisades and Rustic Canyon Recreation Center, offer reservations for their facilities.However, parks like Venice Beach Recreation Center and Lake Balboa Park don't require reservations.It's important to check with each specific park for their policies on birthday party reservations.Are There Any Restrictions on Bringing Food or Barbecues to These Parks?There are some restrictions on bringing food or barbecues to these parks. Some parks have designated picnic areas with barbecues that can be reserved, while others don't allow on-site barbecues. It's important to check the specific rules and regulations of each park before planning your birthday party.However, most parks allow you to bring your own food and have picnic areas available for use. Remember to clean up after your event to keep the parks clean and enjoyable for everyone.Are There Any Additional Fees or Permits Required for Hosting a Birthday Party at These Parks?There may be additional fees or permits required for hosting a birthday party at these parks. It's important to check with the specific park authorities for accurate information.Some parks may charge a fee for bounce houses or require permits for barbecues. Certain parks may also have security deposit requirements for reservations.It's best to contact the park directly to understand any extra costs or permits needed to ensure a successful birthday celebration.Are There Any Specific Rules or Regulations Regarding Decorations or Party Setups at These Parks?When it comes to decorations and party setups at these parks, there might be some specific rules and regulations in place. It's important to check with the park authorities or visit their website for any guidelines regarding decorations, such as restrictions on balloons or confetti.Additionally, there may be rules about setting up party equipment, like bounce houses or tents. By following these rules, we can ensure a fun and safe birthday celebration for the kids at these parks.ConclusionIn conclusion, Los Angeles is home to a wide range of amazing parks that are perfect for hosting your child's birthday party.Whether you're looking for natural beauty, ocean views, sports activities, or a surf-themed celebration, there's a park that will suit your needs.Remember, 'time flies when you're having fun,' so make sure to choose the perfect park to create lasting memories for your child and their friends.Happy party planning! submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.06.08 10:41 Outside-Hair-7155 Ballad of Christina
Good morning, y'all. It is 1:26 AM in California. I'm on duty tomorrow, after staying in bed for much of the week. I try to keep my issues away from my coworkers and those who aren't directly involved in them, I always have. Just like her. This is going to be a yap session, so don't feel obligated to read it. In the end, it's more for me, than it is for you. I have been trying to get all of this off my chest for the longest time, I'm convinced it'll make me feel better. Even if God has already forgiven me. I'm gonna tell you guys about the ruined life and eventual death of my best friend, love of my life, shipmate, and in another life, ex-baby-mama (she would've laughed, calm down.). Christina Martinez. This will be updated periodically, provided it isn't removed.
Middle School
This was about 10 years ago, but I remember it like it was this afternoon. The rain was typical for a Northern California winter's day. It was nearly the end of 8th grade when I first met her. I wasn't a popular kid, but I had friends. I had never gotten bullied, I had a stable home life, my parents loved me, I had so many things that she didn't. Compared to her, it is a miracle of God that we became as close as we did.
I remember everything about that particular 4th period. The air in the room, the noise, the wet-dog smell of a room filled with 40 teenagers. Especially the rain rolling down the windows outside. As per usual, my friends and I, due to our inability to be quiet/act like reasonable people were immediately next to the teacher's desk. This did not stop us from acting like animals. Our lesson for the day was slightly delayed for some reason. She walked in.
That quiet, unassuming transfer student from Sacramento. The door was held open by a rock, so all she needed to do was turn the corner. I will always remember this exact moment. Her small frame standing in the rain, binder in hand. The rain rolling off of the roof behind her, the rattling of the gutter, and her short hair blowing in the breeze. She was brown, (Mexican, I correctly assumed) she had short, thin, and had frizzy, curly brown hair. Her eyes were the deepest shade of brown I had ever seen. She was wearing large-rimmed glasses, jeans, and a pink hoodie. She walked around the front of the room. Her eyes never left the ground after she stepped inside. She sheepishly walked towards the front of the room, trying to attract as little attention as possible. She spoke to the teacher and took an empty seat several rows away from me. She put her binder on the table, opened it, and looked up at the board. I looked to the front and continued my rapscallionism, but I couldn't stop thinking about her. What was she like? Who was she? I had a middle school boo at the time, so it wasn't romantic (at least that's what I told myself.) Something was irresistible about this frankly, plain teen girl. I needed to know her. Eventually, the bell rings. I put her out of my mind. My friends and I get yelled at (as usual.) and I go to my next class.
She was there. Sitting in the back of my math class. And as God's grace would have it, right behind my seat. I sit down, study hall. Perfect. I turn around and said something along the lines of: "Hey, I'm N. We have Mrs Xs class together. What's your name?" Nothing. She looks at my chest as she trips over herself trying to get the words out. "C-Christina." I ask if she just moved in nearby. She trips over herself again. I immediately ask why she's stuttering so much. Obviously, she's a 13-year-old girl in a strange, unfamiliar city, at a strange unfamiliar school, talking to a strange, unfamiliar boy. This was not readily apparent to my underdeveloped mind. She can't answer. I ask if she's shy. She is. I ask her for help with my late math homework. I start talking to her. Her dad was in the Air Force, he had just relocated to a base nearby. She had no brothers or sisters. She liked anime (back when this was weird), dogs, music, and most importantly, she was a girl who played video games. 45 minutes, this was about all the information I could coax out of her. I gave her my phone number. "Text me if you need something." a fair trade for her doing my homework.
Bullying
She was picked on for her hair, her height (she was short for a girl), her weight, her interests, her clothes, her skin color (we all had the same skin tone idk why) her social skills (lack thereof), and everything else you can think of. Mostly by other girls. I didn't do a single thing about it. I even participated in it. She was different (not how you'd think.) and had to pay the price for it. It all came to a head one sunny afternoon in science class. I took the large eraser off of her desk. She tried to reach for it. I hit her. Hard. Knocking those big-rimmed glasses off of her face. I didn't mean to, it just happened. She started whimpering and ran out of the room. This, was big. She never cried. Her eyes would get a little red, but crying wasn't something she typically did.
Our relationship was like this for a lot of the year. I assumed she'd move away, so I just kept talking to her, for the rest of 8th grade, we talked. The bullying slowly lessened over time, but moving into freshman year, it didn't stop.
Freshman Year
Our relationship had grown over the summer. I texted her, she was probably the only person I hung out with in person at that time. She became one of my best friends. We were given our class schedules (eventually.) The first day of freshman year, something immediately became clear to me. Freshman year was a different beast for me. I was the top dog in middle school. This was meaningless in high school. That first day, I clung to her. I followed her around all day, I asked her every question you could think of, I depended on her those first few months. Most of my friends were gone, so there was nothing else that I could do. And what did she do? She answered every question I had. She never complained about me constantly hanging around her. At a time when I had very few friends, she was with me. My grades were awful. I cared very little about school. I had her in three classes, so anything I didn't get, I could just ask her for help with. She never said no, either. "I'll drag you to get your diploma." is what she once told me. I, of course, did not take her seriously. Academically, she was a powerhouse. 100% on everything, all As, she combined long hours of studying with extracurriculars, volunteer hours, and everything else you need to get into a real college. I was a complete loser, still focused on heist setups and girls. She never abandoned me though. Did she tell me I could do better? Absolutely. Did she tell me how I was letting her down? 100%. But she never left me. A mistake that proved fatal in time.
Sophomore Year
It was a crisp, near-autumn day, when I asked her to go to homecoming with me. It wasn't supposed to be a date, but I was a loser and had nothing going on. "Christina, homecoming on Friday, want to go?" she said yes, and said that she could pay for herself. Friday rolls around, and we show up around 9 PM. We wait in a line for a decent amount of time, and go inside. It's loud, bright, and the music is awful. In Christina fashion, she tells me that the $20 was a waste of money and that we need to go somewhere else. I agree, we pack a fair amount of their complementary snacks into her backpack and leave. The guard asks "Ya'll leaving already?" we tell him yes. We sit on the electrical cage on the side of the gymnasium, look up at the barely visible, rural California sky, and talk. "N. are you having fun?" I tell her: "No, not particularly." She nods, laughs, and goes back to looking at the sky. "What are you doing after high school?" I reply: "No idea, probably the army, or something, how about you?" She asks: "Are you sure? Why not college?" Of course, I dodge the question. I try to ask what colleges she's trying to get into, because of course, this is already something that she had planned out. We talk longer, and I tell her that I have to leave. I evaded every question she had about my future, because thinking about tomorrow isn't something I considered until she made me.
The year continued like this, nothing changed until May, when there was probably a month of school left. I asked her if she wanted to eat at a local restaurant, just us, after school. She laughed and asked: "Is this a date?" "Yes." I said, jokingly. She smiled and agreed. We go, eat, talk, nothing different from what we usually do. She asks if I want to walk around downtown. I had nothing else to do, and my mom was picking me up, so I agreed. We walked around town for a decent amount of time (probably 30 minutes) Suddenly (probably not, I'm just dense.) she asked if she could hold my hand. I said yes, thinking it was a joke (I don't know either). I wrap my hand around hers, thinking of this as more funny than anything. We keep walking. She's taking longer to respond to me. We stop outside of an old movie theater. I comment on the age of the place. She stops and looks me in the eyes. We're both pretty short, so I'm a few inches taller than her. I don't know why she's looking at me. She was used to the density of my skull, so she straight up asked. "Kiss?" I know this sounds like a scene out of a bad romance anime, But nope, just two socially "r-worded" high schoolers. I'm confused, but we ball. I say yes, thinking she's still joking and she's about to punch me in the jaw or pull out a chocolate. Nope. She kisses me on the lips. It was mid-day and empty outside, so I suppose people weren't a concern. We stop and keep walking like nothing happening. I walk her back, and her mom picks her up. I think about this for the rest of the week. It wasn't my first kiss, so it didn't have too much impact at the time, but I tell the boys what happened, and move on with my life.
Junior Year
We kept doing this throughout the summer. We had a falling out over my increasing lack of effort through the beginning of junior year. We stopped dating, and I started dating another girl. This girl, J, left me with a decent amount of issues that would not be fixed until much later. Around the end of junior year, I broke up with her. Christina and I remained friends, we made up, and were back to 90% strength by senior year.
Senior Year
I was still a loser and was putting slightly more effort into not being a complete failure. I started the process to join the military around the beginning of October. I go to MEPs, and join the Navy. I don't get the job that I want, and they strongly advise that I sign as a corpsman. Christina voices her immense disappointment that I joined the military instead of getting a real job. "You're going to die in Afghanistan, or on a boat somewhere." I agree with her assertion, this was a very real possibility. I pay her no mind, and foolishly tell her that she should join as well. She declined because she was already planning on applying to several state colleges. She was more than capable of getting a scholarship, so I let it go. February comes around, it's about time to go. She tells me that she didn't apply for any scholarships in time, the ones that she did apply for, she did not get. Something about how the ones she did apply for won't release funds until the middle of the summer. She starts asking me about joining the Navy. No way this is happening. I tell her that she should join, it's an easy four years (I was 18, how did I know?) and that she could easily pay for her college with the GI bill. She agrees, and tells me she'll see a recruiter. I text the dude I'm assigned to, and give him Christina's number. She tells me she'll try reserves. Makes sense to me. Two weeks later, after a decent amount of updates, she informs me that she's going active duty. I'm insanely confused by this, and question her. "You're throwing away 4 years of work, you already have everything that you need. Why?" Her answer's something along the lines of: "You're doing it, why not me?" Like she has forgotten that I'm a loser and I did absolutely nothing the entire time we were in school. She tells me that I'm not changing her mind, she'll do whatever she wants, her "little miss independent" attitude (as I liked to call it, looking back, it was insanely admirable.) paired with my undiagnosed ADHD. This was a destructive combination, looking back on it.
Some time goes by, around four-five years worth of time. We get through boot camp, corps-school, field-med, and our first and second duty stations together. We have a pretty decent amount of trauma bonding between us. She nurses me back to health when I'm sick or drunk, comforts me when I'm tired, and supports me, more than I support her. If she needs something, I tell her I'll get it for her, and then don't. She asks me to stop drinking, I do not. Calm down with the nicotine, no. Please come see me more, you're not even that far away, no. Can I come see you? No. Date this Friday? no. I fail her in ways too numerous to count. She was a 5'0", 140-pound female assigned to 1st Battalion, 5th Marines. H&S co. She's with the grunts. She takes a fair amount of abuse even not being directly on the line. Whenever she's not in the field, she's tasked out for administrative work or other nonsense. She's liked, but she just can't handle it. Eventually, she has enough. She hung herself on the 27th of September, 2023, at between 1 and 4 AM. My last words to her, again, the love of my life and my best friend, were: "See you later brother." She tried to teach me to take care of myself, to think about the future, and I only learned her lessons far too late.
submitted by Outside-Hair-7155 to offmychest [link] [comments]
Middle School
This was about 10 years ago, but I remember it like it was this afternoon. The rain was typical for a Northern California winter's day. It was nearly the end of 8th grade when I first met her. I wasn't a popular kid, but I had friends. I had never gotten bullied, I had a stable home life, my parents loved me, I had so many things that she didn't. Compared to her, it is a miracle of God that we became as close as we did.
I remember everything about that particular 4th period. The air in the room, the noise, the wet-dog smell of a room filled with 40 teenagers. Especially the rain rolling down the windows outside. As per usual, my friends and I, due to our inability to be quiet/act like reasonable people were immediately next to the teacher's desk. This did not stop us from acting like animals. Our lesson for the day was slightly delayed for some reason. She walked in.
That quiet, unassuming transfer student from Sacramento. The door was held open by a rock, so all she needed to do was turn the corner. I will always remember this exact moment. Her small frame standing in the rain, binder in hand. The rain rolling off of the roof behind her, the rattling of the gutter, and her short hair blowing in the breeze. She was brown, (Mexican, I correctly assumed) she had short, thin, and had frizzy, curly brown hair. Her eyes were the deepest shade of brown I had ever seen. She was wearing large-rimmed glasses, jeans, and a pink hoodie. She walked around the front of the room. Her eyes never left the ground after she stepped inside. She sheepishly walked towards the front of the room, trying to attract as little attention as possible. She spoke to the teacher and took an empty seat several rows away from me. She put her binder on the table, opened it, and looked up at the board. I looked to the front and continued my rapscallionism, but I couldn't stop thinking about her. What was she like? Who was she? I had a middle school boo at the time, so it wasn't romantic (at least that's what I told myself.) Something was irresistible about this frankly, plain teen girl. I needed to know her. Eventually, the bell rings. I put her out of my mind. My friends and I get yelled at (as usual.) and I go to my next class.
She was there. Sitting in the back of my math class. And as God's grace would have it, right behind my seat. I sit down, study hall. Perfect. I turn around and said something along the lines of: "Hey, I'm N. We have Mrs Xs class together. What's your name?" Nothing. She looks at my chest as she trips over herself trying to get the words out. "C-Christina." I ask if she just moved in nearby. She trips over herself again. I immediately ask why she's stuttering so much. Obviously, she's a 13-year-old girl in a strange, unfamiliar city, at a strange unfamiliar school, talking to a strange, unfamiliar boy. This was not readily apparent to my underdeveloped mind. She can't answer. I ask if she's shy. She is. I ask her for help with my late math homework. I start talking to her. Her dad was in the Air Force, he had just relocated to a base nearby. She had no brothers or sisters. She liked anime (back when this was weird), dogs, music, and most importantly, she was a girl who played video games. 45 minutes, this was about all the information I could coax out of her. I gave her my phone number. "Text me if you need something." a fair trade for her doing my homework.
Bullying
She was picked on for her hair, her height (she was short for a girl), her weight, her interests, her clothes, her skin color (we all had the same skin tone idk why) her social skills (lack thereof), and everything else you can think of. Mostly by other girls. I didn't do a single thing about it. I even participated in it. She was different (not how you'd think.) and had to pay the price for it. It all came to a head one sunny afternoon in science class. I took the large eraser off of her desk. She tried to reach for it. I hit her. Hard. Knocking those big-rimmed glasses off of her face. I didn't mean to, it just happened. She started whimpering and ran out of the room. This, was big. She never cried. Her eyes would get a little red, but crying wasn't something she typically did.
Our relationship was like this for a lot of the year. I assumed she'd move away, so I just kept talking to her, for the rest of 8th grade, we talked. The bullying slowly lessened over time, but moving into freshman year, it didn't stop.
Freshman Year
Our relationship had grown over the summer. I texted her, she was probably the only person I hung out with in person at that time. She became one of my best friends. We were given our class schedules (eventually.) The first day of freshman year, something immediately became clear to me. Freshman year was a different beast for me. I was the top dog in middle school. This was meaningless in high school. That first day, I clung to her. I followed her around all day, I asked her every question you could think of, I depended on her those first few months. Most of my friends were gone, so there was nothing else that I could do. And what did she do? She answered every question I had. She never complained about me constantly hanging around her. At a time when I had very few friends, she was with me. My grades were awful. I cared very little about school. I had her in three classes, so anything I didn't get, I could just ask her for help with. She never said no, either. "I'll drag you to get your diploma." is what she once told me. I, of course, did not take her seriously. Academically, she was a powerhouse. 100% on everything, all As, she combined long hours of studying with extracurriculars, volunteer hours, and everything else you need to get into a real college. I was a complete loser, still focused on heist setups and girls. She never abandoned me though. Did she tell me I could do better? Absolutely. Did she tell me how I was letting her down? 100%. But she never left me. A mistake that proved fatal in time.
Sophomore Year
It was a crisp, near-autumn day, when I asked her to go to homecoming with me. It wasn't supposed to be a date, but I was a loser and had nothing going on. "Christina, homecoming on Friday, want to go?" she said yes, and said that she could pay for herself. Friday rolls around, and we show up around 9 PM. We wait in a line for a decent amount of time, and go inside. It's loud, bright, and the music is awful. In Christina fashion, she tells me that the $20 was a waste of money and that we need to go somewhere else. I agree, we pack a fair amount of their complementary snacks into her backpack and leave. The guard asks "Ya'll leaving already?" we tell him yes. We sit on the electrical cage on the side of the gymnasium, look up at the barely visible, rural California sky, and talk. "N. are you having fun?" I tell her: "No, not particularly." She nods, laughs, and goes back to looking at the sky. "What are you doing after high school?" I reply: "No idea, probably the army, or something, how about you?" She asks: "Are you sure? Why not college?" Of course, I dodge the question. I try to ask what colleges she's trying to get into, because of course, this is already something that she had planned out. We talk longer, and I tell her that I have to leave. I evaded every question she had about my future, because thinking about tomorrow isn't something I considered until she made me.
The year continued like this, nothing changed until May, when there was probably a month of school left. I asked her if she wanted to eat at a local restaurant, just us, after school. She laughed and asked: "Is this a date?" "Yes." I said, jokingly. She smiled and agreed. We go, eat, talk, nothing different from what we usually do. She asks if I want to walk around downtown. I had nothing else to do, and my mom was picking me up, so I agreed. We walked around town for a decent amount of time (probably 30 minutes) Suddenly (probably not, I'm just dense.) she asked if she could hold my hand. I said yes, thinking it was a joke (I don't know either). I wrap my hand around hers, thinking of this as more funny than anything. We keep walking. She's taking longer to respond to me. We stop outside of an old movie theater. I comment on the age of the place. She stops and looks me in the eyes. We're both pretty short, so I'm a few inches taller than her. I don't know why she's looking at me. She was used to the density of my skull, so she straight up asked. "Kiss?" I know this sounds like a scene out of a bad romance anime, But nope, just two socially "r-worded" high schoolers. I'm confused, but we ball. I say yes, thinking she's still joking and she's about to punch me in the jaw or pull out a chocolate. Nope. She kisses me on the lips. It was mid-day and empty outside, so I suppose people weren't a concern. We stop and keep walking like nothing happening. I walk her back, and her mom picks her up. I think about this for the rest of the week. It wasn't my first kiss, so it didn't have too much impact at the time, but I tell the boys what happened, and move on with my life.
Junior Year
We kept doing this throughout the summer. We had a falling out over my increasing lack of effort through the beginning of junior year. We stopped dating, and I started dating another girl. This girl, J, left me with a decent amount of issues that would not be fixed until much later. Around the end of junior year, I broke up with her. Christina and I remained friends, we made up, and were back to 90% strength by senior year.
Senior Year
I was still a loser and was putting slightly more effort into not being a complete failure. I started the process to join the military around the beginning of October. I go to MEPs, and join the Navy. I don't get the job that I want, and they strongly advise that I sign as a corpsman. Christina voices her immense disappointment that I joined the military instead of getting a real job. "You're going to die in Afghanistan, or on a boat somewhere." I agree with her assertion, this was a very real possibility. I pay her no mind, and foolishly tell her that she should join as well. She declined because she was already planning on applying to several state colleges. She was more than capable of getting a scholarship, so I let it go. February comes around, it's about time to go. She tells me that she didn't apply for any scholarships in time, the ones that she did apply for, she did not get. Something about how the ones she did apply for won't release funds until the middle of the summer. She starts asking me about joining the Navy. No way this is happening. I tell her that she should join, it's an easy four years (I was 18, how did I know?) and that she could easily pay for her college with the GI bill. She agrees, and tells me she'll see a recruiter. I text the dude I'm assigned to, and give him Christina's number. She tells me she'll try reserves. Makes sense to me. Two weeks later, after a decent amount of updates, she informs me that she's going active duty. I'm insanely confused by this, and question her. "You're throwing away 4 years of work, you already have everything that you need. Why?" Her answer's something along the lines of: "You're doing it, why not me?" Like she has forgotten that I'm a loser and I did absolutely nothing the entire time we were in school. She tells me that I'm not changing her mind, she'll do whatever she wants, her "little miss independent" attitude (as I liked to call it, looking back, it was insanely admirable.) paired with my undiagnosed ADHD. This was a destructive combination, looking back on it.
Some time goes by, around four-five years worth of time. We get through boot camp, corps-school, field-med, and our first and second duty stations together. We have a pretty decent amount of trauma bonding between us. She nurses me back to health when I'm sick or drunk, comforts me when I'm tired, and supports me, more than I support her. If she needs something, I tell her I'll get it for her, and then don't. She asks me to stop drinking, I do not. Calm down with the nicotine, no. Please come see me more, you're not even that far away, no. Can I come see you? No. Date this Friday? no. I fail her in ways too numerous to count. She was a 5'0", 140-pound female assigned to 1st Battalion, 5th Marines. H&S co. She's with the grunts. She takes a fair amount of abuse even not being directly on the line. Whenever she's not in the field, she's tasked out for administrative work or other nonsense. She's liked, but she just can't handle it. Eventually, she has enough. She hung herself on the 27th of September, 2023, at between 1 and 4 AM. My last words to her, again, the love of my life and my best friend, were: "See you later brother." She tried to teach me to take care of myself, to think about the future, and I only learned her lessons far too late.
2024.06.08 10:40 SaturnDeity A dream I just had "Satan & Black Cats"
I am in the car with a woman everything is good she is my lover. It's raining outside. Mid convo I see a shadow from inside the car that resembles the devil and it gives me and eerie feeling the woman asks me "what's wrong?" I hesitate telling her thinking she might not believe me. I end up telling her anyway realizing that I am only dreaming. As I look over to her, she has horns and her face starts to resemble Satan himself and she's laughing as if I was joking. We're still driving home and we make small talk like what I would like to eat and she tells me she made pasta I respond by saying I'm not hungry. We make it home to our apartment that's when her mood starts to change she becomes bitchy for lack of a better word she says something like how she's stuck her and has to find a job since the money fell through (idk something like that) I told her that I got her as in ima try to make everything right. She gets upset at me. I grab my stuff as she gets out the car and there is a little girl outside our car playing with a soccer ball or wtvr I notice she throws it up so I wait to get out the car because I don't wanna get hit in the head with it, seems like it wasn't gonna come down due to dream world logic or something so I get out the car and as I do the ball lands on the roof of the car and startles me. I take my stuff and follow behind the woman going upstairs and a black cat follows behind me. Our neighbor offers us to babysit her daughter (the girl playing outside) though her door was cracked open a bit I never seen her face not even a body part. We walk inside the apartment and I ask her where should I put my things and once again she gets upset with me but i just ignore it she tells me i can put it in the bathroom so I do. I walk back into the bedroom and I grab her by the waist to lighten the mood and then I see the black cat levitating in the air at first I thought I was tripping but it was Indeed floating in the air. I let go of the woman and the Flys towards her and she plays with the cat and another black cat appears that's when I see the black cat #1 walk across the window seeing as though I love cats and even owned 1 and had another with my ex gf I walked over towards to try and pick it up and be friendly but by the time I saw it floating I already felt like it was somewhat of an omen telling me to get out. Black cat #2 starts hissing and while I'm trying to pick up black cat #1 it jumps out my hands onto the floor and starts hissing at me as well that's when another cat runs into the room and hisses, I try to stand my ground so I try to scare them off so they'd back away I let out a monster growl and they just stood there standing on more business than I was more cats came in and the woman was just laying in bed not even worried I start thinking to myself that maybe it's time I leave this dream I don't think it's worth me staying to find out what happens next. I walk over to the woman and lay next to heart I was going to give her a heartfelt speech but I realized that there is no point I told her that I have to leave and then I opened my eyes I grab my phone to check the time and I see that it just turned 3:00 the devils hour or the haunting hour whichever one it is
submitted by SaturnDeity to Dreams [link] [comments]
2024.06.08 10:40 Yurii_S_Kh “I Would Thou Wert Cold or Hot”. Revelation: Removing the Veil, Part 14
 | Metropolitan Athanasios of Limassol submitted by Yurii_S_Kh to SophiaWisdomOfGod [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/hjafu78w7b5d1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=1126b9f71e394a1f1fb843d061792cfe278668bd Such a danger awaits us until the very last moment Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown (Rev. 3:11). The Lord is coming soon. God doesn’t delay, because there’s no time for God. We might feel like saying: “So long, so many years!” There is no such time for God; He’s always with us. He never leaves us. We think He’s not there. We say: “And where is God? Why did God leave me alone? I’m trying, but I don’t see or understand anything. I feel alone, abandoned, discarded.” God is near; He hasn’t left you. But He gives you the chance to act like a human being, to do the things that require human effort, and then the Lord will reveal His presence in your soul. The Lord is coming soon. Be careful not to be negligent, to not let your attention scatter here and there—at this time, someone can steal your crown that you’ve been weaving for yourself for so long with your patience. A man can lose everything; such a danger awaits us until the very last moment. Unfortunately, we can undertake great feats and then lose everything in a moment due to our carelessness, our pride, our passions. May the Lord protect us from this. So we have to be careful. Make sure to hold tight to what you have. Don’t throw it away; don’t leave it. Temptation doesn’t happen when satan or someone tells us: “Renounce God!” No, that’s too simple and obvious. Satan has too many ways to lead us into losing God. Elder Paisios asked us: “What did Pharaoh do when he wanted to make the Jews forget about God, to lose the desire to serve God?” He gave them work and money. He told the Egyptians: “Give them food, whatever they want, even a little more, so they eat well. And give them work for the whole day.” If they eat and work all day, they’ll forget about God. And this is exactly what satan does with us sometimes. He gives us a ton of work so we’ll spend the whole day amidst work and worries. He also gives us the means to have a good time thanks to this work. And the result is that we lose our aspiration, our direction, and we forget where we’re going. St.Paisios How many times has this happened to all of us? Worries begin to pull on us more and more. You see people who are getting old but they continue to invent new jobs for themselves. They live to be fifty and take up new activities; they reach sixty and they’re still working; they hit seventy and they have all new worries and labors; then eighty and they still don’t stop. They think they have 200 years to live. What we have to do must be done quickly and decisively. You don’t know what could happen. He will be a pillar of the Church In verse 12, he says: Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the name of My God, and the name of the city of My God, which is New Jerusalem, which cometh down out of Heaven from My God: and I will write upon him My new name (Rev. 3:12). He will hold a place that will be a pillar of the Church, that will uphold the Church. Christ will call him by the name of His God. Not because God the Father is God the Son, but because God is the Creator of the human nature of Christ, and of course, His God. And he will no longer leave the church, and the name of God will be inscribed on this man. This faithful, this holy man of God who has endured everything to the end will know God, will have a Divine experience, will be the abode of God. In some way, the name of God and the name of the city of God will be written on him. What is the city of God? New Jerusalem, the Church of Christ. It descends from Heaven, from God. It’s given us from above, from God. And on this faithful man will be written the new name of God—the name of grace, the name of the Holy Trinity, the name that God gives us by grace through our Baptism and through the Sacraments of the Church. The epistle to the Bishop of the Philadelphia Church ends with the His usual words: He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the Churches (Rev. 3:13). Those who have ears hear, but those who don’t, unfortunately, hear but don’t listen. To the angel of the Church of Laodicea And unto the angel of the Church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God (Rev. 3:14). “The Amen”—this is what God calls Himself in the Old Testament: Amen, holy, Sabaoth, and so on. Christ spoke with the Prophets in the Old Testament; they saw and heard Him. Christ is the Witness; He testifies, He is faithful and true, and the beginning of creation. The Ancient of Days. 14th C., Ubisa, Georgia Jehovah’s Witnesses say: “Look, He is the beginning of creation. That means He’s the first creation.” But unfortunately, it seems they don’t know Greek. The beginning of creation doesn’t mean the first creation, but it’s the One Who created everything else. For example, when we say the head1 of the government, we mean the president, that is, the head—it’s authority, the one who created everything else, who caused everything. Christ created all of nature, all of creation is from Him. He is uncreated. Neither cold nor hot I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot (Rev. 3:15). Again the Lord says that he knows the bishop’s works. You can’t hide from God. It’s easy to deceive people, to mislead them, to seem good, to smile—we manage that well. Not everyone can figure us out. But you can’t deceive God. God sees us to the depths of our soul; He knows everything, even to the smallest particle of our being—even what we can’t see ourselves. Even what our mind and heart can’t explore, God sees. And further, the Lord utters fearful words: Thou art neither cold nor hot. “I know, that you are neither cold nor hot.” As we say in Cyprus: “In the middle of the road.” It would be good for you to be either cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of My mouth (Rev. 3:16). “Inasmuch as you are lukewarm—not hold or cold—I will spit you out of My mouth. I don’t want you.” Just as we can vomit from disgusting food, so will God do with him because he’s lukewarm. Someone may say right now: “Maybe it’s better to at least be lukewarm than cold. Lukewarm is still a bit hot. It’s better than icy, right?” Why does Christ reject the lukewarm? Because the lukewarm man doesn’t realize that he’s that way, and remains that way. The cold man can at any moment realize it and be horrified: Why is he like that; why is he so far from God; why is he such a sinner; why is he so unfortunate? There’s room before him for repentance. But the lukewarm man thinks he’s good, he thinks something is going well for him, that he’s doing something, that he certainly won’t be lost. He does a little here and a little there. But it doesn’t work that way. The word of God is absolutely clear here. We should be hot, not cold—far from God. But not lukewarm. A lukewarm man lives in Christ formally; for him, the word of God is a kind of example of good behavior. He may be a very good man, exceptional, but he has no fire of the Holy Spirit in him; his soul is lifeless. What is the sign of holy people? For those saints whom we have known in our days and who still live among us, perhaps already elderly, even 100 years old, it’s a living soul. They’re hot, with a living soul. You see an old man before you, his body almost dead, but his soul is more alive than the living. And conversely, sometimes you meet people who are young in body but dead in soul. You see a man with a strong body, he goes to the gym, he has strong muscles, but his soul is weak, barely flickering, hardly visible. The soul has no strength, the heart is silent, it fears everything, the passions are boiling in it. Do you remember the episode from the Gospel? A young man came to Christ and asked him what he should do to follow Him. Christ told him to sell everything and follow after Him. When the young man heard this, he was very upset. Why? He was rich and couldn’t detach himself from his wealth. The Gospel says he had many houses, and he didn’t leave them. Then he had to leave them to others, but he had already lost the calling of God. His soul wasn’t alive; his heart wasn’t hot. You may say: “Father, you speak well, but still, that’s what we are—lukewarm people. We live in this world. We’re weak, passionate. What can we do?” Further, Christ gives this bishop important advice. He tells him that He’ll throw him away if he’s like this. Do you see how directly Christ speaks? There’s no false politeness or ambiguity in Him. He tells the bishop exactly what He’ll do with him: He’ll spew him out of His mouth, without ever even looking at him again, because he’s too revolting to keep him inside Him. Christ and the Rich Young Ruler, Heinrich Hoffman. 1889 Do you consider yourself an important person? Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked (Rev. 3:17). What fearful things Christ says about him! This isn’t some man who can make mistakes speaking. It’s God Himself speaking. His word is absolute, befitting God. You think you’re rich, you think you’re something, that you don’t need in anything, but you don’t know yourself. It’s a tragedy that he considered himself an important person. And the main cause of his suffering was that he didn’t want to see himself as he is—pitiable, pathetic, poor. He was absolutely poor, blind, and naked. We often think that we’re really something, that we’re rich and influential. What does the Lord advise him? I counsel thee to buy of Me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see (Rev. 3:18). The Lord advises him to buy from Him gold that has been purified by fire and is burning. “You will receive grace from Me, which burns with fire. It is the purest, purified by fire. You will be enriched by it. It will make you rich. Everything else is poverty, nakedness. Come and I will give you wealth and strength. I will give you white garments, bright and clean, to clothe yourself, so your nakedness would not be visible before the whole world. I will give you an eye salve that your eyes might see.” Christ calls him to give him what he lacks. And what he lacks is grace, not everything else. He needs grace to adorn himself and become rich, in order to see and wake up, to understand who he really is. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent (Rev. 3:19). So what was said wouldn’t seem too harsh, Christ says that He loves him, therefore he rebukes and punishes him. “I’m telling you this because I love you. I want to rebuke and punish you. Return to zeal for God, kindle Divine zeal in your soul, repent of everything you’ve done that’s made you unhappy, destitute, and naked. Don’t think I’m far away, that I despise and avoid you, that I’ve cast you out.” “I stand at the door, and knock” Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear My voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with Me (Rev. 3:20). What door is the Lord standing at? Of course, at the door of our heart, not at the door of our house. Of course, the Lord sometimes knocks on the door of our house too. People come to us to ask for alms, and we close the door before them. You see, it depends on us whether Christ enters our heart, and not on Christ. No one can say: “I want it, but where’s the grace? Christ doesn’t come, doesn’t accept me, doesn’t remember me…” No. Christ stands at the door and knocks on our heart. How does He knock? In different ways—both by His word and His presence, and the multitude of trials in our lives, and through the circumstances of our lives—in thousands of ways, in all possible ways, the Lord knocks on the door and asks us to open to Him, that He might enter. He doesn’t break down the door; Christ doesn’t break it, but waits for us to open the door willingly, for Him to come in and sup with us, and we with Him. Christ knocking at the door To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with Me in My throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with My Father in His throne (Rev. 3:21). Like the God-Man. The human nature of Christ sits on the right hand of God the Father. He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the Churches (Rev. 3:22). With this ends the seven epistles to the seven bishops of the Churches. But they’re so strong, so frank, that we find ourselves among them. It remains for us only to open the door, because we understand that we are poor and naked, pitiable and poor. Let us ask Christ to come inside of us that He might revive our heart and our whole being. To be continued… 1 “Beginning” and “head” are related in Greek (ἀρχή). |
2024.06.08 10:38 Neptunian_fork So here's my coming out story and my effort to have my guy
I've tried several times to write my story and each time I fail miserably. I want to share it though because I don't have actually any gay friends and maybe I could use some advice. If you've seen Maestro in blue, that's almost my story
I'm 20 and come from a wonderful rural area filled with cute homophobic creatures. My parents know that I'm gay. None of them was happy initially. My mother soon (real soon) accepted and she became a supporter. My father does not support but he wasn't openly against me, that's not his way. Scheming schemes is his true expertise and so he did.
I also have ehm, I'm not sure how to call him. I'm also having someone that I love. That's the most precise thing I could say. His father is a monster. I'm almost sure that he just drinks polyjuice potion to look like a human. He's beating him and his mother. He's sent him to the hospital twice, both of them it was me escorting him
We're having an affair from high school. We were childhood friends. He knows that he's gay but he believes that he can't be one. He has sex with me, he loves me, he says that the only true thing in his life is me. BUT he believes that he should marry a woman because everything else will lead to disaster. But his father (thanks to mine) knows that he's gay (he uses a different words) so he keeps beating (but mostly when I'm in the village, just in case).
Oh I've also being beaten once (although he made a mistake thinking I would not react like his son). My father was outraged (because he thinks it's a lack of respect towards him, he doesn't really care about anything but him).
All these years, my guy had gf. He's fucked all the girls there. It worked, almost everyone thinks he's straight. It stopped working after a certain incident and now everybody whispers. Even his future wife kinda knows. I have to tell you that I've said the very basic things so as not to make an endless post. My guy is just destroyed inside, emotionally. We message and we just end up crying. I've got a plan of just taking him with me and leave them all behind. He's scared.
For him it's easier to continue getting beaten and live with a woman while he loves men and not just live. Because he can manage the known, even if it's that bad, but he can't manage the unknown. And me? Well everytime I swallow I taste a bitterness. I can fool myself with boyfriends. With or without him, I can't love anyone else. I can go on with my sorrow.
submitted by Neptunian_fork to lgbt [link] [comments]
I'm 20 and come from a wonderful rural area filled with cute homophobic creatures. My parents know that I'm gay. None of them was happy initially. My mother soon (real soon) accepted and she became a supporter. My father does not support but he wasn't openly against me, that's not his way. Scheming schemes is his true expertise and so he did.
I also have ehm, I'm not sure how to call him. I'm also having someone that I love. That's the most precise thing I could say. His father is a monster. I'm almost sure that he just drinks polyjuice potion to look like a human. He's beating him and his mother. He's sent him to the hospital twice, both of them it was me escorting him
We're having an affair from high school. We were childhood friends. He knows that he's gay but he believes that he can't be one. He has sex with me, he loves me, he says that the only true thing in his life is me. BUT he believes that he should marry a woman because everything else will lead to disaster. But his father (thanks to mine) knows that he's gay (he uses a different words) so he keeps beating (but mostly when I'm in the village, just in case).
Oh I've also being beaten once (although he made a mistake thinking I would not react like his son). My father was outraged (because he thinks it's a lack of respect towards him, he doesn't really care about anything but him).
All these years, my guy had gf. He's fucked all the girls there. It worked, almost everyone thinks he's straight. It stopped working after a certain incident and now everybody whispers. Even his future wife kinda knows. I have to tell you that I've said the very basic things so as not to make an endless post. My guy is just destroyed inside, emotionally. We message and we just end up crying. I've got a plan of just taking him with me and leave them all behind. He's scared.
For him it's easier to continue getting beaten and live with a woman while he loves men and not just live. Because he can manage the known, even if it's that bad, but he can't manage the unknown. And me? Well everytime I swallow I taste a bitterness. I can fool myself with boyfriends. With or without him, I can't love anyone else. I can go on with my sorrow.