Anatomy blood pressure review sheet 33
[STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 100.000$+ INVENTORY. BFK Lore, Gloves Amphibious, Skeleton Fade, Bowie Emerald, BFK Auto, Gloves MF, Talon Doppler, Gloves POW, Bayo Tiger, Gut Sapphire, Stiletto MF, M9 Ultra, Ursus Doppler, Flip Doppler, M9 Stained, Nomad CW, Paracord CW, AK-47 X-Ray & A Lot More
2024.06.08 22:56 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 100.000$+ INVENTORY. BFK Lore, Gloves Amphibious, Skeleton Fade, Bowie Emerald, BFK Auto, Gloves MF, Talon Doppler, Gloves POW, Bayo Tiger, Gut Sapphire, Stiletto MF, M9 Ultra, Ursus Doppler, Flip Doppler, M9 Stained, Nomad CW, Paracord CW, AK-47 X-Ray & A Lot More
Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory
Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.
All Buyouts are listed in cash value.
KNIVES
★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77
★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74
⎯★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87
★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41
★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39
⎯★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27
★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28
★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15
⎯★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93
★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69
★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18
★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83
★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64
⎯★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04
★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41
★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39
★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25
★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80
★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96
★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79
⎯★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11
★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78
★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88
★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79
⎯★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05
★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24
★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03
★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28
★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53
⎯★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12
★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42
★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37
★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66
★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18
★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13
★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26
⎯★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83
★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50
★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11
⎯★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02
★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44
★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20
★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51
★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03
⎯★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54
★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81
★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81
★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82
★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46
★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08
⎯★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48
★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12
⎯★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26
★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03
⎯★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79
★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17
★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55
★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77
★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49
★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22
★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51
★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94
★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99
★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80
★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96
⎯★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92
★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03
★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22
★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40
★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42
★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20
★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46
⎯★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99
★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93
★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43
★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06
★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16
★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57
★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69
★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95
★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41
★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01
★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95
GLOVES
★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67
★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33
★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88
★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66
⎯★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07
★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14
★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57
★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21
⎯★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99
★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31
★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00
★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28
⎯★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29
★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73
★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32
⎯★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01
★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66
⎯★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55
⎯★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94
★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55
WEAPONS
AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95
AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83
StatTrak™ M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95
M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51
StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43
AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38
StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64
P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03
AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33
Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00
M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70
StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48
AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97
StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96
StatTrak™ AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85
Souvenir M4A1-S Master Piece (Well-Worn), B/O: $102.42
AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53
Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory
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2024.06.08 22:43 Cheesypower Building Helping Hands
I became obsessed with the idea of charity groups arriving on Irvrana and helping the Bissem with various things that don't necessarily show up in the big picture- so you know what? I decided to do it myself. Enjoy!
For those like Director Pengele, however, the news was... perhaps less impactful than it was for others- an exciting oddity, to be sure, but the main relevance it had for her life was that it was an effective way of keeping her patients occupied. The children in particular were enamored with the news, fascinated by the sight of such alien beings, chattering amongst both themselves and their caretakers about countless questions, observations, and hopes they held regarding these enigmatic visitors who claimed good intentions.
It made guiding them through physical therapy all the easier- talk of the tall alien with no feathers or fur a ready distraction from movements needed to compensate for a missing flipper or foot. Pain that would have been an obstacle they needed to be pushed through faded with the distraction of the way the quietest alien was covered in quills and barbs- how did one function normally with so many weapons hanging from their back?
Even the adult patients welcomed the distraction- the melancholy of lost mobility and crushed dreams buried under theorizing about what the aliens might actually want, or griping about them being an affront to the gods- though thankfully the crowd of protestors who believed the same about their prosthetics seemed to have found a new target for their demonstrations, appearing outside of public courthouses and official government buildings instead of harassing her doctors and patients with insults and screaming declarations of them stripping their patients of their bissemity and replacing it with metal and machinery.
Their prosthetics didn't even use metal- too prone to rust, and weighed down too much! What limited mobility they could manage to provide for their patients required much lighter plastics and alloys be used!
Anyways, news of aliens quickly faded from her attention as she focused on her work as usual- signing documents, trying her best to continue sweet-talking the groups her hospital relied on for funding, doing her best to remain civil in the face of complaints of money being "wasted" when replacing missing limbs was a fantasy, reviewing potential new patients whenever they came up or got through the paperwork of appealing for a place in her halls, coordinating between the research teams who tried to find new solutions to improve their prosthetics and the doctors who would need to actually implement such changes and make sure they worked for the patient... The work was never-ending, and not well suited to indulging in distractions, even ones as big as Aliens actually existing!
So her current circumstances, sitting nervously inside of an official Lassmin limo speeding through the city streets, escorted by armed guards sat to either side her, with no explanation beyond the statement they'd given when they burst into her office and 'invited' her down to a meeting with a representative from those aliens? Well, it wasn't exactly something she'd been scheduling in advance!
Nervously combing her feathers back into place and ensuring they were evenly coated in just enough oil to give herself a healthy sheen, Pengele straightened her posture and practiced her best business-deal resting expression as the column of vehicles pulled into the central government building's parking lot. She might not know what the aliens wanted with a specialty hospital director- one of her more 'inventive' patients would probably suggest that she was simply deemed an acceptable sacrifice by her own government. She did her best to quiet that annoyingly intrusive though as she was waddled through the halls, past onlooking groups of bissem turning from whatever they were doing to see what the commotion was about.
"Ah, the woman of the hour!" The mayor's perfect politician tone was a welcome distraction- even if it couldn't completely hide the slight nervous tremor to his words. The vritalian male's more modest stature was ever so slightly raised- he preferred to wear claw-boosters, saying the added height granted him a natural air of authority. Right now though, his demeanor was that of someone who thought they were in trouble but didn't know why- a flipper idly tugging at the ceremonial garnet of office around his neck. "Quite the unexpected series of events, isn't this? Why, aliens within our city- and apparently with a deal to offer! The tabloids ought to have a field day with this once it's announced!"
"That is... an unexpected surprise, indeed!" she slipped into her practiced 'meeting with investors' speaking patterns with ease, giving a socially-acceptable head-bob of polite agreement. "Though, I haven't exactly had it explained why such a... momentous moment requires my own presence? My facility isn't the most prominent industry within the city..."
"Nonsense! Your hospital and it's research are a prize of the city- a statement of our commitment to bettering the lives of our people, even the ones struck with the most unfortunate of circumstances!" The mayor gushed words filled with positivity but little substance- especially when she remembered the last time they had met regarding certain financial grants for their continued operation. "In fact, the aliens seem to have caught notice of your valiant mission, and are interested in cooperation in the pursuit of shared goals, in order to reach a better tomorrow with joined flippers- er, whatever they have! I for one, have no doubt that their contributions will be valued and most beneficial for us all!"
...Those were a lot of words for him to essentially say that he was missing a lot of details too and didn't actually know why the aliens had taken an interest in her facility, but then that was the way of most politicians- fill the conversation with enough noise, and people would focus on the feelings of the statements made rather than the actual substance. Fortunately, she'd long since learned to navigate such methods of obfuscation, though knowing that he was also unaware of their purpose here made that twisting in her gut just a bit more intense.
Thankfully, her worries were temporarily pushed to the side as they were waved into a conference room, where a Selmer was already seated and waiting for them. The trappings draped across her shoulders were adorned with several metals, denoting her as a military officer- though Pengele wasn't familiar enough with their system of rankings to know exactly how high she must be in the chain of command. The officer looked between the two of them as they moved to take their seats, and nodded in satisfaction as the doors were closed behind them.
"Thank you both for attending so promptly- this situation is rather unprecedented, so there was no time to explain in... unsecured environments. I apologize for any stress that caused you, but we need to move quickly in order to take advantage of this opportunity."
"That's perfectly understandable, ma'am!" the mayor gushed before Pengele could finish opening her beak- leaving her to carefully close it again as he began to prattle once more. "Time is a resource we never have enough of, especially when it comes to matters of supreme import! Why-"
"As I said," The officer interrupted coolly, "time is of the essence here, so forgive me if I insist on skipping the pleasantries in favor of briefing you both on the situation. That is," she looked directly down at the mayor, his boosters not even close to making up for their natural height difference, "assuming that is agreeable to you, sir mayor?" It did not sound like a question.
Pengele watched him start to look offended, before settling his expression and leaning back in his seat. "I suppose explanations would be prudent, given the... urgency with which we were summoned."
"Great." Picking up a folder and tapping it on the table, the officer glanced between the two of them and clacked her beak. "The short of it is, we've been approached by an internal group within the aliens- not their government, but some sort of charity organization- which has expressed interest in beginning operations within our nation. Having reviewed the nature of the offer, the government believes this would be a boon worth accepting, should we find someplace willing to accept them. Your facility, Director Pengele, is a fit for the parameters they requested, and thus we would ask for you to consider their offer, should you choose to hear them out- and for you, sir mayor, to approve of their operations being set up within your city."
"My facility?" Pengele questioned. "They were interested in our facility above all others? Forgive me, but... we are quite specialized in our purview, and not nearly as advanced as some of the other hospitals even within this city. Is there a reason we were of particular interest to them, miss...?"
"General Kippar," the Selmer clarified, "and it's your specialization that is of interest to them, director. They are offering to provide their own knowledge of the design and production of prosthetic limb technology, and believe your facility would be the best starting point for integrating their advancements with our own efforts- and for what it is worth, we hold that same belief. Your advancements in the field are beyond what anyone else has accomplished, so it is our hope that you will have an easier time adapting whatever they provide for our own use. Though, I hope it is understood that the government is going to wish to receive access to any of the technology they are able to provide."
"That..." pausing for a moment, she thought over what she had just been told- the heady giddiness of potential access to that kind of resources and knowledge temporarily pushed aside as best she could manage in the face of a request for a commitment. "...the information I would be perfectly fine with sharing- we may even produce some official medical journals to release it to the general healthcare community. For hardware though, we cannot offer anything already assigned to a patient, as it would be their property at that point. Perhaps providing working examples unspoken for by a patient yet?"
"Seems reasonable enough," the general nodded crisply. "Though perhaps we should let this alien make their sales-pitch first, before we start counting the fish in our net. If the two of you are ready?" Pengele nodded eagerly, and the mayor nodded as well- though he seemed to be pouting about being excluded from their previous conversation. Ignoring his ill mood, the general turned to one of the guards and waved a flipper at him, getting a salute in return as he left the room.
Pengele fluffed her feathers in her seat, the mayor striking up a conversation about permits and such barely registering to her as she grappled with the thought of what was being offered. Alien medical technology, likely beyond anything her people had managed so far- how much would that push their own progress ahead? Had they figured out waterproofing of the joints? Were their prosthetics capable of powered articulation? The best prototypes her own people had managed so far was a replacement leg that provided a steady base and enough flexibility for the patient to walk without needing a cane, even if the battery life of it wasn't great. Just having more advanced batteries would do wonders for giving their patients something so they could move under their own power! She might need to hear this alien out before hashing out the details, but at face value, there was no way should was going to refuse this offer!
Her internal thoughts were interrupted by the door opening, and one of the tall, lanky aliens striding through. Their long limbs bending and swaying as they moved around was fascinating to observe- so different from the normal sway of a bissem's walk, this alien barely shifted to either side at all as they moved! Their unfortunately-bare face brightened as she (was it a she? Their body was different from the male that had been on the videos from first contact) laid eyes on them all, lips pulled apart in a baring of teeth as she pulled alongside the table, pulling out a seat and setting a rectangular carrying box of some sort down beside her.
Her lips began moving, releasing a series of guttural noises from her throat, before a device affixed to her chest crackled to life. "Greetings and good day," the device spoke in perfectly-understandable speech- even bearing a similar tone to the alien's voice! "My name is Lucillia, and on behalf of the Daedalus Initiative, I would like to thank you all for hearing me out and giving us a chance to bring our work to you. While our races have only been in contact for a short time, it is a great pleasure to be working with you towards our mutual mission of ensuring everyone has a chance to live Life Without Limits."
Not speaking their language herself? That made sense- not everyone could learn a new language quickly- especially if it crossed the species barrier. Thank goodness they seemed to have figured out machines that could translate in real-time for them- otherwise this conversation would be much more awkward to parse through.
"That is my hope as well," Pengele chimed in quickly, noting how the last bit sounded like a practiced slogan. "I'm Director Pengele, and I run the Prow-Wave Prosthetic Institute, and I'm very interested in getting my flippers on whatever innovations you can offer us to help our patients return to a normal life. I am glad your government chose our facility for the first site to introduce this technology- we'll be sure to get to work right away finding how to adapt any advancements to our own work on limb-replacement."
Whatever response she was expecting, the tall alien tilting her head back and barking out a laugh was certainly not it. "Oh, I am not here on behalf of the UN, my dear- Daedalus Initiative is a non-profit organization dedicated to relief efforts and providing medical care to those who either don't have access or can't afford the care and resources that they need. If it was up to the UN, this meeting wouldn't be happening, and you wouldn't be seeing hide or hair of this technology for months, much less getting started on it." She gestured energetically with one of her long limbs, the spindly fingers of her hand twitching in a deliberate eye-catching way. "However, I hope you'll agree that spending several months refusing children and patients medical care while politicians play their little games doesn't exactly sit well with me."
"Such games are not without reason, miss Lucillia," the mayor spoke up, sitting up in a professional posture. "While I am willing to accommodate your efforts here, I now find myself worrying if we are causing a diplomatic incident allowing you to set up a facility in my city."
"If we were setting up a facility, then we WOULD be in trouble," she answered quickly, pointing an index finger at the mayor while her thumb was held skyward- some sort of human gesture? "After all, they don't want anybody contaminating culture, especially with a new uplift, and telling them we just want to help people who've already lost limbs doesn't really seem to work. However," her finger swung around to point at Pengele, "if an EXISTING facility were to request the Daedalus Initiative provide aid, then the SC's charters on charities and relief workers would leave us free to provide as much aid as possible, so long as it is confined to within that existing facility!"
Blinking at the energetic display, Pengele crossed her flippers in front of her beak, considering the boisterous human as a few missing pieces clicked into place. "Well, that certainly sounds like it would be beneficial for your organization- if such a request was to be made, could you give us some examples of what might be offered to us? I can't imagine you already have prosthetics ready-made for bissem just yet."
"Well, not specifically, but we do have something that should be easy to adjust to the required specifications!" Reaching down into her case, the human pulled out a technological pad, then started fiddling with it as images popped up and scrolled along the screen- what a marvelous piece of technology that would be! Just imagine how much paperwork such a device might be able to replace! "See, we have a species back on Earth called penguins- technically several species, but I digress- and conservation efforts did end up designing some prosthetic flippers for a few members who had lost them due to either predators or human shipping. Obviously adjustments will need to be made, seeing as it's not a perfect comparison- for one thing, your flippers are far more dexterous than a penguin's would be- but I think you can see that the base design is a promising starting point!"
The human slid her dataslate over, and Pengele picked it up, examining the blueprints she was being shown... and slowly felt her beak falling open at what she was seeing. This... this was something at a level that her engineers thought would be decades away at minimum- full articulation, no cables in need of being plugged in, no external batteries- was that a direct connection to the patient's nervous system?! Did these aliens have that kind of medical technology in such abundance that even charity workers could provide it?! While she was right that this wasn't the full dexterity of a natural bissem flipper, this was still leagues beyond the best tech she could provide to those with deep enough pockets for it- and she was considering this a base model?!
"H-how much are these going to cost us again?" she questioned weakly, the tablet clattering back down onto the table. "Our budget... while we have a decent fund for research and development, this kind of tech..."
"That's the beauty of it! We're a non-profit- and most of our funds come from donations anyways! For this project, we've already arranged the necessary funding in advance- none of this will cost you a dime! Or, whatever currency you use."
"That is... quite generous," The mayor interrupted, tapping the table with a flipper, "though you'll forgive me for asking... are theoreticals all you have to offer? While this all sounds very nice, it's good to have confirmation you can deliver the product offered- or at least something similar, to show you have the capability. That's only fair, yes?"
Something devious sparked to life in the human's eyes. "Oh, that's no trouble at all- I even brought along an example of the product we offer! This model is one I can personally vouch for!"
And with that, she reached up her sleeve, shifting something around... and then pulled her own arm off, setting it down on the table with a thunk- one drowned out by the mayor's terrified shriek as he pushed away from the table, flippers flapping at the air as his chair slowly tipped backwards and crashed into the ground, spilling his flailing form onto the floor.
Pengele barely managed to keep her own chair balanced, flippers held to her beak as she stared at the detached limb- before jerking her gaze towards the grinning human, who seemed disturbingly nonchalant about being reduced to a single arm. Thankfully, it didn't take too long for her brain to kick back into gear, slowly clicking information into place as she noted the lack of blood, or disturbance, and the fact that she had been asked to present a working model...
"I-I didn't even notice," she stammered, eyes flicking back to the prosthetic on the table. She could see the metallic sheen at the end, with some obvious connectors sticking out... but the rest of the limb looked almost indistinguishable from the human's other limb, which she had blatantly laid on the table for comparison. Gingerly, Pengele reached out and poked at the smaller digits of the limb, feeling not heavy iron, but some kind of soft, firm material- and the fingers flexing closed with barely any pressure from her touch.
So many tiny joints, so close together, and they'd all been working perfectly- no external power source that she could see, either on the limb or on the human. The way she'd been able to detach it so easily, without any obvious pain. Picking it up, it was surprisingly heavy- a soft material that felt so much like normal skin, so unlike the harsh firmness of their own plastic limbs that she couldn't help but run her flipper along it, marveling at how it gave and flexed so similarly to the real thing. There were differences, now that she looked at it up close- bits that were a bit too angular to be natural, strange spots of firmness where there shouldn't be- but the fact she had to focus to find them, even this close up...
"Pretty good work, right?" the human spoke up, a tinge of pride in her voice- even as the device on her chest clearly began to struggle with the speed at which she began talking, giving a strange echo between her natural speech and the translation. "Not as good as the original obviously, but that model's served me well for about fifteen years now- and it's a decent upgrade from the first one I got fitted with after, well... unfortunate events at my old position." Sitting back up, Lucillia patted at her empty shoulder proudly. "So as you can see, I've got a personal stake in making sure all the prosthetics we provide are the best they can possibly be!"
With shaking flippers, Pengele pushed the limb back across the table to her. "W-would you mind putting this back on?"
With a knowing smile, the human rolled up her sleeve, exposing an obvious technological port right where her shoulder should be- and with a bit of shuffling, lined up the connectors and pushed it into place, the limb locking in with a solid-sounding click. Dexterous fingers flicked up a panel and pushed a few buttons, then flicked it close as a tiny light came on. Rolling her sleeve back down, the human rolled her reattached arm, making a show of flexing her fingers in sequence before grasping and spreading her entire hand.
"No stutter, no lag, just got to make sure the connection is seated properly, lock it in, and turn it on! Battery lasts for about six hours, and the charging plug is discreet and can fit into any typical electrical port. No pain when it's disconnected either- you basically turn off your connections to the nerves, and it feels more like the arm has gone numb- a bit trippy for the first few months, but certainly better than some alternatives!"
Pengele felt her chair wobbling beneath her, and chose to simply abandon it, ignoring the clatter as she climbed onto the table and waddled over as fast as she could, eagerly extending a flipper towards the human. "As Director of the Prow-Wave Prosthetics Institute, I am requesting the Daedalus Initiative's aid as quickly as possible. Just tell me what you need from me- anything it takes to get this tech available to my patients as soon as we can!"
"Well, of course there are papers to be signed and filed," Lucillia grinned, the grip of her prosthetic warm and soft as she gripped Pengele's flipper and shook it, "but once we take care of that, we'll have a ship flying in by the end of the week. I look forward to working with you, Director Pengele."
"Likewise, Director Lucillia," she beamed, fluffing her feathers in joy. This kind of miracle-tech was going to help so many Bissems!
submitted by Cheesypower to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]
When the news came of aliens being real, it had been a shock- how could anyone in Irvana have seen such an audacious announcement being made by the government? Yet as the news was streamed as these strange beings from the stars appeared before a gathered crowd of reporters, all three of them as different from each other as they were from the Bissem, it was impossible to refute the claims as being some sort of hoax.
For those like Director Pengele, however, the news was... perhaps less impactful than it was for others- an exciting oddity, to be sure, but the main relevance it had for her life was that it was an effective way of keeping her patients occupied. The children in particular were enamored with the news, fascinated by the sight of such alien beings, chattering amongst both themselves and their caretakers about countless questions, observations, and hopes they held regarding these enigmatic visitors who claimed good intentions.
It made guiding them through physical therapy all the easier- talk of the tall alien with no feathers or fur a ready distraction from movements needed to compensate for a missing flipper or foot. Pain that would have been an obstacle they needed to be pushed through faded with the distraction of the way the quietest alien was covered in quills and barbs- how did one function normally with so many weapons hanging from their back?
Even the adult patients welcomed the distraction- the melancholy of lost mobility and crushed dreams buried under theorizing about what the aliens might actually want, or griping about them being an affront to the gods- though thankfully the crowd of protestors who believed the same about their prosthetics seemed to have found a new target for their demonstrations, appearing outside of public courthouses and official government buildings instead of harassing her doctors and patients with insults and screaming declarations of them stripping their patients of their bissemity and replacing it with metal and machinery.
Their prosthetics didn't even use metal- too prone to rust, and weighed down too much! What limited mobility they could manage to provide for their patients required much lighter plastics and alloys be used!
Anyways, news of aliens quickly faded from her attention as she focused on her work as usual- signing documents, trying her best to continue sweet-talking the groups her hospital relied on for funding, doing her best to remain civil in the face of complaints of money being "wasted" when replacing missing limbs was a fantasy, reviewing potential new patients whenever they came up or got through the paperwork of appealing for a place in her halls, coordinating between the research teams who tried to find new solutions to improve their prosthetics and the doctors who would need to actually implement such changes and make sure they worked for the patient... The work was never-ending, and not well suited to indulging in distractions, even ones as big as Aliens actually existing!
So her current circumstances, sitting nervously inside of an official Lassmin limo speeding through the city streets, escorted by armed guards sat to either side her, with no explanation beyond the statement they'd given when they burst into her office and 'invited' her down to a meeting with a representative from those aliens? Well, it wasn't exactly something she'd been scheduling in advance!
Nervously combing her feathers back into place and ensuring they were evenly coated in just enough oil to give herself a healthy sheen, Pengele straightened her posture and practiced her best business-deal resting expression as the column of vehicles pulled into the central government building's parking lot. She might not know what the aliens wanted with a specialty hospital director- one of her more 'inventive' patients would probably suggest that she was simply deemed an acceptable sacrifice by her own government. She did her best to quiet that annoyingly intrusive though as she was waddled through the halls, past onlooking groups of bissem turning from whatever they were doing to see what the commotion was about.
"Ah, the woman of the hour!" The mayor's perfect politician tone was a welcome distraction- even if it couldn't completely hide the slight nervous tremor to his words. The vritalian male's more modest stature was ever so slightly raised- he preferred to wear claw-boosters, saying the added height granted him a natural air of authority. Right now though, his demeanor was that of someone who thought they were in trouble but didn't know why- a flipper idly tugging at the ceremonial garnet of office around his neck. "Quite the unexpected series of events, isn't this? Why, aliens within our city- and apparently with a deal to offer! The tabloids ought to have a field day with this once it's announced!"
"That is... an unexpected surprise, indeed!" she slipped into her practiced 'meeting with investors' speaking patterns with ease, giving a socially-acceptable head-bob of polite agreement. "Though, I haven't exactly had it explained why such a... momentous moment requires my own presence? My facility isn't the most prominent industry within the city..."
"Nonsense! Your hospital and it's research are a prize of the city- a statement of our commitment to bettering the lives of our people, even the ones struck with the most unfortunate of circumstances!" The mayor gushed words filled with positivity but little substance- especially when she remembered the last time they had met regarding certain financial grants for their continued operation. "In fact, the aliens seem to have caught notice of your valiant mission, and are interested in cooperation in the pursuit of shared goals, in order to reach a better tomorrow with joined flippers- er, whatever they have! I for one, have no doubt that their contributions will be valued and most beneficial for us all!"
...Those were a lot of words for him to essentially say that he was missing a lot of details too and didn't actually know why the aliens had taken an interest in her facility, but then that was the way of most politicians- fill the conversation with enough noise, and people would focus on the feelings of the statements made rather than the actual substance. Fortunately, she'd long since learned to navigate such methods of obfuscation, though knowing that he was also unaware of their purpose here made that twisting in her gut just a bit more intense.
Thankfully, her worries were temporarily pushed to the side as they were waved into a conference room, where a Selmer was already seated and waiting for them. The trappings draped across her shoulders were adorned with several metals, denoting her as a military officer- though Pengele wasn't familiar enough with their system of rankings to know exactly how high she must be in the chain of command. The officer looked between the two of them as they moved to take their seats, and nodded in satisfaction as the doors were closed behind them.
"Thank you both for attending so promptly- this situation is rather unprecedented, so there was no time to explain in... unsecured environments. I apologize for any stress that caused you, but we need to move quickly in order to take advantage of this opportunity."
"That's perfectly understandable, ma'am!" the mayor gushed before Pengele could finish opening her beak- leaving her to carefully close it again as he began to prattle once more. "Time is a resource we never have enough of, especially when it comes to matters of supreme import! Why-"
"As I said," The officer interrupted coolly, "time is of the essence here, so forgive me if I insist on skipping the pleasantries in favor of briefing you both on the situation. That is," she looked directly down at the mayor, his boosters not even close to making up for their natural height difference, "assuming that is agreeable to you, sir mayor?" It did not sound like a question.
Pengele watched him start to look offended, before settling his expression and leaning back in his seat. "I suppose explanations would be prudent, given the... urgency with which we were summoned."
"Great." Picking up a folder and tapping it on the table, the officer glanced between the two of them and clacked her beak. "The short of it is, we've been approached by an internal group within the aliens- not their government, but some sort of charity organization- which has expressed interest in beginning operations within our nation. Having reviewed the nature of the offer, the government believes this would be a boon worth accepting, should we find someplace willing to accept them. Your facility, Director Pengele, is a fit for the parameters they requested, and thus we would ask for you to consider their offer, should you choose to hear them out- and for you, sir mayor, to approve of their operations being set up within your city."
"My facility?" Pengele questioned. "They were interested in our facility above all others? Forgive me, but... we are quite specialized in our purview, and not nearly as advanced as some of the other hospitals even within this city. Is there a reason we were of particular interest to them, miss...?"
"General Kippar," the Selmer clarified, "and it's your specialization that is of interest to them, director. They are offering to provide their own knowledge of the design and production of prosthetic limb technology, and believe your facility would be the best starting point for integrating their advancements with our own efforts- and for what it is worth, we hold that same belief. Your advancements in the field are beyond what anyone else has accomplished, so it is our hope that you will have an easier time adapting whatever they provide for our own use. Though, I hope it is understood that the government is going to wish to receive access to any of the technology they are able to provide."
"That..." pausing for a moment, she thought over what she had just been told- the heady giddiness of potential access to that kind of resources and knowledge temporarily pushed aside as best she could manage in the face of a request for a commitment. "...the information I would be perfectly fine with sharing- we may even produce some official medical journals to release it to the general healthcare community. For hardware though, we cannot offer anything already assigned to a patient, as it would be their property at that point. Perhaps providing working examples unspoken for by a patient yet?"
"Seems reasonable enough," the general nodded crisply. "Though perhaps we should let this alien make their sales-pitch first, before we start counting the fish in our net. If the two of you are ready?" Pengele nodded eagerly, and the mayor nodded as well- though he seemed to be pouting about being excluded from their previous conversation. Ignoring his ill mood, the general turned to one of the guards and waved a flipper at him, getting a salute in return as he left the room.
Pengele fluffed her feathers in her seat, the mayor striking up a conversation about permits and such barely registering to her as she grappled with the thought of what was being offered. Alien medical technology, likely beyond anything her people had managed so far- how much would that push their own progress ahead? Had they figured out waterproofing of the joints? Were their prosthetics capable of powered articulation? The best prototypes her own people had managed so far was a replacement leg that provided a steady base and enough flexibility for the patient to walk without needing a cane, even if the battery life of it wasn't great. Just having more advanced batteries would do wonders for giving their patients something so they could move under their own power! She might need to hear this alien out before hashing out the details, but at face value, there was no way should was going to refuse this offer!
Her internal thoughts were interrupted by the door opening, and one of the tall, lanky aliens striding through. Their long limbs bending and swaying as they moved around was fascinating to observe- so different from the normal sway of a bissem's walk, this alien barely shifted to either side at all as they moved! Their unfortunately-bare face brightened as she (was it a she? Their body was different from the male that had been on the videos from first contact) laid eyes on them all, lips pulled apart in a baring of teeth as she pulled alongside the table, pulling out a seat and setting a rectangular carrying box of some sort down beside her.
Her lips began moving, releasing a series of guttural noises from her throat, before a device affixed to her chest crackled to life. "Greetings and good day," the device spoke in perfectly-understandable speech- even bearing a similar tone to the alien's voice! "My name is Lucillia, and on behalf of the Daedalus Initiative, I would like to thank you all for hearing me out and giving us a chance to bring our work to you. While our races have only been in contact for a short time, it is a great pleasure to be working with you towards our mutual mission of ensuring everyone has a chance to live Life Without Limits."
Not speaking their language herself? That made sense- not everyone could learn a new language quickly- especially if it crossed the species barrier. Thank goodness they seemed to have figured out machines that could translate in real-time for them- otherwise this conversation would be much more awkward to parse through.
"That is my hope as well," Pengele chimed in quickly, noting how the last bit sounded like a practiced slogan. "I'm Director Pengele, and I run the Prow-Wave Prosthetic Institute, and I'm very interested in getting my flippers on whatever innovations you can offer us to help our patients return to a normal life. I am glad your government chose our facility for the first site to introduce this technology- we'll be sure to get to work right away finding how to adapt any advancements to our own work on limb-replacement."
Whatever response she was expecting, the tall alien tilting her head back and barking out a laugh was certainly not it. "Oh, I am not here on behalf of the UN, my dear- Daedalus Initiative is a non-profit organization dedicated to relief efforts and providing medical care to those who either don't have access or can't afford the care and resources that they need. If it was up to the UN, this meeting wouldn't be happening, and you wouldn't be seeing hide or hair of this technology for months, much less getting started on it." She gestured energetically with one of her long limbs, the spindly fingers of her hand twitching in a deliberate eye-catching way. "However, I hope you'll agree that spending several months refusing children and patients medical care while politicians play their little games doesn't exactly sit well with me."
"Such games are not without reason, miss Lucillia," the mayor spoke up, sitting up in a professional posture. "While I am willing to accommodate your efforts here, I now find myself worrying if we are causing a diplomatic incident allowing you to set up a facility in my city."
"If we were setting up a facility, then we WOULD be in trouble," she answered quickly, pointing an index finger at the mayor while her thumb was held skyward- some sort of human gesture? "After all, they don't want anybody contaminating culture, especially with a new uplift, and telling them we just want to help people who've already lost limbs doesn't really seem to work. However," her finger swung around to point at Pengele, "if an EXISTING facility were to request the Daedalus Initiative provide aid, then the SC's charters on charities and relief workers would leave us free to provide as much aid as possible, so long as it is confined to within that existing facility!"
Blinking at the energetic display, Pengele crossed her flippers in front of her beak, considering the boisterous human as a few missing pieces clicked into place. "Well, that certainly sounds like it would be beneficial for your organization- if such a request was to be made, could you give us some examples of what might be offered to us? I can't imagine you already have prosthetics ready-made for bissem just yet."
"Well, not specifically, but we do have something that should be easy to adjust to the required specifications!" Reaching down into her case, the human pulled out a technological pad, then started fiddling with it as images popped up and scrolled along the screen- what a marvelous piece of technology that would be! Just imagine how much paperwork such a device might be able to replace! "See, we have a species back on Earth called penguins- technically several species, but I digress- and conservation efforts did end up designing some prosthetic flippers for a few members who had lost them due to either predators or human shipping. Obviously adjustments will need to be made, seeing as it's not a perfect comparison- for one thing, your flippers are far more dexterous than a penguin's would be- but I think you can see that the base design is a promising starting point!"
The human slid her dataslate over, and Pengele picked it up, examining the blueprints she was being shown... and slowly felt her beak falling open at what she was seeing. This... this was something at a level that her engineers thought would be decades away at minimum- full articulation, no cables in need of being plugged in, no external batteries- was that a direct connection to the patient's nervous system?! Did these aliens have that kind of medical technology in such abundance that even charity workers could provide it?! While she was right that this wasn't the full dexterity of a natural bissem flipper, this was still leagues beyond the best tech she could provide to those with deep enough pockets for it- and she was considering this a base model?!
"H-how much are these going to cost us again?" she questioned weakly, the tablet clattering back down onto the table. "Our budget... while we have a decent fund for research and development, this kind of tech..."
"That's the beauty of it! We're a non-profit- and most of our funds come from donations anyways! For this project, we've already arranged the necessary funding in advance- none of this will cost you a dime! Or, whatever currency you use."
"That is... quite generous," The mayor interrupted, tapping the table with a flipper, "though you'll forgive me for asking... are theoreticals all you have to offer? While this all sounds very nice, it's good to have confirmation you can deliver the product offered- or at least something similar, to show you have the capability. That's only fair, yes?"
Something devious sparked to life in the human's eyes. "Oh, that's no trouble at all- I even brought along an example of the product we offer! This model is one I can personally vouch for!"
And with that, she reached up her sleeve, shifting something around... and then pulled her own arm off, setting it down on the table with a thunk- one drowned out by the mayor's terrified shriek as he pushed away from the table, flippers flapping at the air as his chair slowly tipped backwards and crashed into the ground, spilling his flailing form onto the floor.
Pengele barely managed to keep her own chair balanced, flippers held to her beak as she stared at the detached limb- before jerking her gaze towards the grinning human, who seemed disturbingly nonchalant about being reduced to a single arm. Thankfully, it didn't take too long for her brain to kick back into gear, slowly clicking information into place as she noted the lack of blood, or disturbance, and the fact that she had been asked to present a working model...
"I-I didn't even notice," she stammered, eyes flicking back to the prosthetic on the table. She could see the metallic sheen at the end, with some obvious connectors sticking out... but the rest of the limb looked almost indistinguishable from the human's other limb, which she had blatantly laid on the table for comparison. Gingerly, Pengele reached out and poked at the smaller digits of the limb, feeling not heavy iron, but some kind of soft, firm material- and the fingers flexing closed with barely any pressure from her touch.
So many tiny joints, so close together, and they'd all been working perfectly- no external power source that she could see, either on the limb or on the human. The way she'd been able to detach it so easily, without any obvious pain. Picking it up, it was surprisingly heavy- a soft material that felt so much like normal skin, so unlike the harsh firmness of their own plastic limbs that she couldn't help but run her flipper along it, marveling at how it gave and flexed so similarly to the real thing. There were differences, now that she looked at it up close- bits that were a bit too angular to be natural, strange spots of firmness where there shouldn't be- but the fact she had to focus to find them, even this close up...
"Pretty good work, right?" the human spoke up, a tinge of pride in her voice- even as the device on her chest clearly began to struggle with the speed at which she began talking, giving a strange echo between her natural speech and the translation. "Not as good as the original obviously, but that model's served me well for about fifteen years now- and it's a decent upgrade from the first one I got fitted with after, well... unfortunate events at my old position." Sitting back up, Lucillia patted at her empty shoulder proudly. "So as you can see, I've got a personal stake in making sure all the prosthetics we provide are the best they can possibly be!"
With shaking flippers, Pengele pushed the limb back across the table to her. "W-would you mind putting this back on?"
With a knowing smile, the human rolled up her sleeve, exposing an obvious technological port right where her shoulder should be- and with a bit of shuffling, lined up the connectors and pushed it into place, the limb locking in with a solid-sounding click. Dexterous fingers flicked up a panel and pushed a few buttons, then flicked it close as a tiny light came on. Rolling her sleeve back down, the human rolled her reattached arm, making a show of flexing her fingers in sequence before grasping and spreading her entire hand.
"No stutter, no lag, just got to make sure the connection is seated properly, lock it in, and turn it on! Battery lasts for about six hours, and the charging plug is discreet and can fit into any typical electrical port. No pain when it's disconnected either- you basically turn off your connections to the nerves, and it feels more like the arm has gone numb- a bit trippy for the first few months, but certainly better than some alternatives!"
Pengele felt her chair wobbling beneath her, and chose to simply abandon it, ignoring the clatter as she climbed onto the table and waddled over as fast as she could, eagerly extending a flipper towards the human. "As Director of the Prow-Wave Prosthetics Institute, I am requesting the Daedalus Initiative's aid as quickly as possible. Just tell me what you need from me- anything it takes to get this tech available to my patients as soon as we can!"
"Well, of course there are papers to be signed and filed," Lucillia grinned, the grip of her prosthetic warm and soft as she gripped Pengele's flipper and shook it, "but once we take care of that, we'll have a ship flying in by the end of the week. I look forward to working with you, Director Pengele."
"Likewise, Director Lucillia," she beamed, fluffing her feathers in joy. This kind of miracle-tech was going to help so many Bissems!
2024.06.08 21:56 hyperpug Minimal discomfort wisdom teeth removal experience
As title said, I want to share my experience just in case it helps someone who has anxiety about wisdom teeth removal surgery like I did. Here’s a very detailed post about my wisdom teeth removal experience.
I first found out I had 4 wisdom teeth about 5 years ago. Bottom 2 were impacted horizontally. Top 2 were partially erupted. Was advised by my first surgeon to do 2 on my right side first (because they were bothering me a bit) then come back for the left side.
I was extremely nervous about the first 2 so I opted to pay out of pocket for laughing gas. My surgeon said her practice did not offer IV sedation for wisdom teeth removal, local anesthesia only. I was very hesitant about this, but after reading all the glowing reviews, I told myself I will be fine.
Day of surgery, still super nervous. Nurse calmed me down, reassured me I will not feel a thing. The laughing gas almost made me fall asleep lol. They covered my eyes and did not tell me what was happening at all. I didn’t even know when my mouth was injected, assuming it was when the surgeon told me to open my mouth for her to “take a look.” Didn’t feel a thing. Then she came back a while later and started the procedure. I had my noise-cancelling headphones on and blasted music. Although I was pretty much distracted, I could hear the drilling and felt the tugging and pulling, but honestly I didn’t even know when the teeth came out. So it was like I knew they were doing stuff, but not sure exactly what. I did not feel it when she stitched it up. She had to remove my headphones to tell me it was all done! The procedure itself took 15m. The prepping was what took the longest.
Recovery was uneventful. I had congee once then just ate normally with my left side. Obviously didn’t try to chew on a bone or anything crazy, but soft food like pasta or mac and cheese was totally fine. First day was uncomfortable but not painful. Second day was okay and stopped taking pain med on third day. Everything was a breeze.
Yesterday I got the 2 on my left side removed by a different surgeon because I moved and the experience was a little different. I was still nervous but not as nervous as the first time and they actually asked if I wanted to sleep. I said I did fine the first time with just local anesthesia and the surgeon was like “Great! It takes 10s. No reason to sleep unless you really want to.” Guy was almost like the opposite of my female surgeon, he was boom boom straight to the point no BS kinda guy. Didn’t even try to comfort me and responded to all of my questions in a very technical way, which I appreciated. This time I knew when the anesthesia was injected into my mouth because I was fully awake and aware, no laughing gas. I felt a pinch in my mouth, but honestly wasn’t as bad as a mosquito bite.
After that I sat around for half an hour waiting for my mouth to be numbed, then he came back and removed the teeth within less than 10m! I was still on my second song and it was already done. Same as last time, I couldn’t tell when the teeth came out but felt pressure here and there. I’ve read that a lot of people are scared of hearing the sound but honestly it’s not that bad when you can’t really match the sound with the visual. My surgeon said I did terrific and asked if it felt better than last time. I said yes and thanked him.
Came home. Ate clam chowder and pasta. Took meds. Went to sleep. Woke up. Finished leftovers. Took meds. Went back go sleep. That’s what I did yesterday. Absolutely no pain. It was bleeding for a while but no more blood after 8 hours. I slept great. This morning I woke up with some more swelling but again, no pain. Drank coffee and ate normally using my right side. The day is going by just like any other day.
So yes, I think it was a great idea that I came in twice instead of getting all 4 out at the same time. I think I would have been miserable. Local anesthesia is really enough if your surgeon says so. Close your eyes, listen to music, and it will be done in no time. This advice is coming from me who is a wuss and terrified of the normal stuff like blood test and vaccines. If I can do it, you 100% can!
submitted by hyperpug to wisdomteeth [link] [comments]
I first found out I had 4 wisdom teeth about 5 years ago. Bottom 2 were impacted horizontally. Top 2 were partially erupted. Was advised by my first surgeon to do 2 on my right side first (because they were bothering me a bit) then come back for the left side.
I was extremely nervous about the first 2 so I opted to pay out of pocket for laughing gas. My surgeon said her practice did not offer IV sedation for wisdom teeth removal, local anesthesia only. I was very hesitant about this, but after reading all the glowing reviews, I told myself I will be fine.
Day of surgery, still super nervous. Nurse calmed me down, reassured me I will not feel a thing. The laughing gas almost made me fall asleep lol. They covered my eyes and did not tell me what was happening at all. I didn’t even know when my mouth was injected, assuming it was when the surgeon told me to open my mouth for her to “take a look.” Didn’t feel a thing. Then she came back a while later and started the procedure. I had my noise-cancelling headphones on and blasted music. Although I was pretty much distracted, I could hear the drilling and felt the tugging and pulling, but honestly I didn’t even know when the teeth came out. So it was like I knew they were doing stuff, but not sure exactly what. I did not feel it when she stitched it up. She had to remove my headphones to tell me it was all done! The procedure itself took 15m. The prepping was what took the longest.
Recovery was uneventful. I had congee once then just ate normally with my left side. Obviously didn’t try to chew on a bone or anything crazy, but soft food like pasta or mac and cheese was totally fine. First day was uncomfortable but not painful. Second day was okay and stopped taking pain med on third day. Everything was a breeze.
Yesterday I got the 2 on my left side removed by a different surgeon because I moved and the experience was a little different. I was still nervous but not as nervous as the first time and they actually asked if I wanted to sleep. I said I did fine the first time with just local anesthesia and the surgeon was like “Great! It takes 10s. No reason to sleep unless you really want to.” Guy was almost like the opposite of my female surgeon, he was boom boom straight to the point no BS kinda guy. Didn’t even try to comfort me and responded to all of my questions in a very technical way, which I appreciated. This time I knew when the anesthesia was injected into my mouth because I was fully awake and aware, no laughing gas. I felt a pinch in my mouth, but honestly wasn’t as bad as a mosquito bite.
After that I sat around for half an hour waiting for my mouth to be numbed, then he came back and removed the teeth within less than 10m! I was still on my second song and it was already done. Same as last time, I couldn’t tell when the teeth came out but felt pressure here and there. I’ve read that a lot of people are scared of hearing the sound but honestly it’s not that bad when you can’t really match the sound with the visual. My surgeon said I did terrific and asked if it felt better than last time. I said yes and thanked him.
Came home. Ate clam chowder and pasta. Took meds. Went to sleep. Woke up. Finished leftovers. Took meds. Went back go sleep. That’s what I did yesterday. Absolutely no pain. It was bleeding for a while but no more blood after 8 hours. I slept great. This morning I woke up with some more swelling but again, no pain. Drank coffee and ate normally using my right side. The day is going by just like any other day.
So yes, I think it was a great idea that I came in twice instead of getting all 4 out at the same time. I think I would have been miserable. Local anesthesia is really enough if your surgeon says so. Close your eyes, listen to music, and it will be done in no time. This advice is coming from me who is a wuss and terrified of the normal stuff like blood test and vaccines. If I can do it, you 100% can!
2024.06.08 21:32 QueenCygora6996 Routine bloodwork turns into anxiety central
Hey everyone! Maybe I’m just overthinking things, but any reassurance or advice would be great, if anyone has knowledge or experience in this stuff… I’m 33+3w today for context. I had routine bloodwork done(CBC w/Diff and more) in April (about 25-26w) and the results had OB and myself thinking I had an infection or a cold although I had absolutely no symptoms of anything. WBC was elavated, RBC was quite low and mch-cells enlarged quite a bit and there was something else idr.. But like I said, chalked it up to maybe my body is fighting something off. We’ll fast forward to May (29-30w), I have my med review with my primary (on sertaline for depression) and she notices my blood work and ordered a redraw so she can check the progress since last draw in April. I took my time bc pregnancy brain and everything else going on, but I finally got it done a couple days ago and since I’ve been just concerned and anxious.. Blood draw process is usually a breeze for me. In and out. On-site phlebotomist is always the same and she’s an absolute angel and always quick and clean. This time, not so much since whatever happened caused me to immediately bleed through the gauze wad that was taped over puncture site AND gush out the side and down my arm on a simple poke at the bandage to feel how soaked it was (don’t ask, I poke my body to check how bad I’m bleeding. I didn’t expect this at all. I NEVER bleed more than a drop after draw) Got cleaned up by the tech, didn’t bleed much at all on the second gauze and went on my way. No fainting but had felt a little lightheaded through it. Well results came back yesterday(33+2w), Primary says she wants to follow up with another draw in 3-4weeks as she’s concerned about my levels. WBC is even higher, RBC is dropped even lower, hemocrit now low, mch is back to normal range, and polychromasia was found.. I’ve heard from a few friends&fam members that this doesn’t not sound good, one had childhood leukemia. So I’ve honestly researched it too and I had to stop bc I almost drove myself insane. I’m sorry for the long post. I love this thread and idk where else to turn.
ETA: For extra context, I do have a follow-up appt coming up with primary for the bloodwork, and I do have my prenatal appts all in line still and I don’t miss any appts. My OB has not seemed concerned about my bloodwork but maybe that’s bc primary is on top of it? Also I have a history of Kidney scarring (90%/60%).
submitted by QueenCygora6996 to BabyBumps [link] [comments]
ETA: For extra context, I do have a follow-up appt coming up with primary for the bloodwork, and I do have my prenatal appts all in line still and I don’t miss any appts. My OB has not seemed concerned about my bloodwork but maybe that’s bc primary is on top of it? Also I have a history of Kidney scarring (90%/60%).
2024.06.08 21:16 pregnantandpondering Was my first prenatal visit normal?
My boyfriend and I have been out of the country for the last 7 months for business. During that time I accidentally became pregnant. We have been over the moon excited since finding out, a very welcome surprise. Due to being so far from home, not speaking the language, wanting to get established with an OB at home, and the project taking longer than we anticipated (as it usually goes), my prenatal care was a little delayed.
I had my first appointment last week. I thought I was 14w but turns out I’m actually 16w! However after browsing this subreddit for a couple months I had a different expectation of how the first appointment should have gone, especially given how far along I am. Am I overthinking it? Was this normal?
A nurse takes me back, gets my weight and blood pressure and asks me a total of 3 questions: have you had any bleeding or cramps, any nausea or vomiting, and are you taking prenatal vitamins. Then she drops me and boyfriend off in the ultrasound room. I didn’t actually wind up meeting the OB, instead the NP came in and did the ultrasound which is fine. She was nice enough but didn’t explain anything, just did the ultrasound told me how far along I was and my due date. It was very much “business as usual” which I keep telling myself is a good thing. We got to hear the heartbeat and get some pictures and that was that, of course boyfriend and I are just giddy with excitement at this point and I was still under the impression there was more to the exam. I still thought I’d see/meet the actual OB at this point. But nope, a nurse took me to the bathroom to get a urine sample and then took some blood for blood work (again, no explanation of what they were testing for or looking for). And that was that. I was never asked if I had any questions or really given an opportunity to ask any. Nothing was really explained. No NIPT/genetic testing was offered and we are absolutely interested in that, and I assume that wasn’t part of the blood work that they took for that day.
The kicker is I don’t have any insurance atm (working on it), so I had to do self pay. They did not have a self pay price handy for the blood work so they will bill me later for that. So for just the ultrasound, it was $340. I guess I just expected more of an actual exam or some conversation at least. Especially for the price 😫 we live in a lower income area. I’ve never in my life had a medical appointment with such little explanation around what was happening. Never not been asked if I had any questions.
Am I overthinking? Should I take it as “business as usual” is good? Unfortunately the next closest OB is over 1.5 hours drive away. I was really hoping to like this one 😕 the reviews online are all positive.
submitted by pregnantandpondering to BabyBumps [link] [comments]
I had my first appointment last week. I thought I was 14w but turns out I’m actually 16w! However after browsing this subreddit for a couple months I had a different expectation of how the first appointment should have gone, especially given how far along I am. Am I overthinking it? Was this normal?
A nurse takes me back, gets my weight and blood pressure and asks me a total of 3 questions: have you had any bleeding or cramps, any nausea or vomiting, and are you taking prenatal vitamins. Then she drops me and boyfriend off in the ultrasound room. I didn’t actually wind up meeting the OB, instead the NP came in and did the ultrasound which is fine. She was nice enough but didn’t explain anything, just did the ultrasound told me how far along I was and my due date. It was very much “business as usual” which I keep telling myself is a good thing. We got to hear the heartbeat and get some pictures and that was that, of course boyfriend and I are just giddy with excitement at this point and I was still under the impression there was more to the exam. I still thought I’d see/meet the actual OB at this point. But nope, a nurse took me to the bathroom to get a urine sample and then took some blood for blood work (again, no explanation of what they were testing for or looking for). And that was that. I was never asked if I had any questions or really given an opportunity to ask any. Nothing was really explained. No NIPT/genetic testing was offered and we are absolutely interested in that, and I assume that wasn’t part of the blood work that they took for that day.
The kicker is I don’t have any insurance atm (working on it), so I had to do self pay. They did not have a self pay price handy for the blood work so they will bill me later for that. So for just the ultrasound, it was $340. I guess I just expected more of an actual exam or some conversation at least. Especially for the price 😫 we live in a lower income area. I’ve never in my life had a medical appointment with such little explanation around what was happening. Never not been asked if I had any questions.
Am I overthinking? Should I take it as “business as usual” is good? Unfortunately the next closest OB is over 1.5 hours drive away. I was really hoping to like this one 😕 the reviews online are all positive.
2024.06.08 20:49 CIAHerpes I was a member of the Church of the Final Rapture. Our leader wishes to bring about the Apocalypse.
“Before I met the Savior, I was a worthless piece of garbage, barely a human being,” Lovebug droned at the front of the enormous room. Lovebug was a monster of a man, two-hundred and fifty pounds of hard tattooed muscle. Like myself, he was a high-ranking member of the Church.
His flat gray eyes scanned the room with a fanatical gleam. I sat in the first row, watching and waiting. Followers of the Savior would tell their stories, how the Savior had reached down and lifted them out of sin and filth to bring them up to the divine. The bright fluorescent lights overhead droned on with a low hum. Thousands of men crammed together in seats or stood at the back of the room.
The Savior taught only two commandments: to murder is holy, and to die for the Savior is the highest bliss. An army of warriors followed the Savior, knights on a holy crusade, priests who wouldn’t hesitate to burn the foul bodies of any witches or demons we encountered. I thought of myself as a knight for the holy king, our Savior, the mouthpiece of the eternal.
“Now, it is like the hand of God has reached into my heart and loosened all the knots there, the knots of anxiety and fear and uncertainty.” He raised his black, military-style rifle into the air for emphasis. “I never realized the true nature of reality before- the fact that we are living in a simulation where the final battle of good versus evil is playing out before our very eyes. And I will be on the side of the good, until my dying breath. I will be on the side of the Savior and of God!”
The crowd roared and clapped. Men got to their feet, sweating heavily in the boiling hot conference room. I felt the surge of energy pass through me like a tidal wave, the pure confidence and iron will of truth. Lovebug lumbered down off the stage as the Savior came out from behind the red curtains, walking with the straight spine of a soldier. He wore a silky black robe that fluttered softly around him, the hood pulled back.
The Savior had horrific burns running the length of his body. His arms had melted folds of keloid scars visible all the way to the tips of his fingers. His scalp had also melted, and the Savior had no hair except for his eyelashes and eyebrows. But the fire that had nearly killed him had spared his face, an aristocratic visage with ferocious green eyes like those of a cat. That face seemed like it had been sculpted out of marble by DaVinci himself, the high cheekbones jutting out over a chin so sharp that it looked like it could have hammered nails into boards. He stared out at the crowd for a long moment, his gaze unblinking.
“The final battle has begun,” he said in a low voice, no more than a whisper. Yet, in the deathly silence of the hall, his words rang out loud and clear. “Those in charge of this illusory world know that we see them. We see them very well, how they hide behind the curtain. They control the world economy, the justice system. Every government, whether they call themselves communist, authoritarian or democratic, is no more than a puppet in their dancing fingers.
“When anyone tries to stand up and lead the masses of suffering people towards freedom from slavery, they are vilified by the mainstream media, brought up on false charges or killed, their bodies staged to look like a suicide. Look what they did to Jesus, and for what? For telling people to love God more than their rulers? And those who speak out today are also crucified, murdered in prisons or killed by their governments. Truth is the most precious commodity, after all. It is one that can only be purchased with blood.
“So what can we do? How can we fight against such evil?” There was a quiet muttering among the pale, frozen faces that stared up at the stage with adoration and love.
“We can fight it by using their own weapons against them!” the Savior said, his voice rising in speed and pitch. He raised his fisted hands to his chest, accentuating each syllable with a back and forth stab of his hands. “Fight fire with fire, and pay back blood with blood! The only thing these global terrorists understand is greater levels of force. We must show them death on a scale they have never before imagined.” I felt nervous as the Savior delivered his message. I saw other men shuffle anxiously in the crowded auditorium, most of them having high-caliber rifles slung around their shoulders.
I felt the rising violence and bloodlust in the air like electricity before a lightning storm. At that moment, I knew we would all have to fight before too long.
***
The Savior called me and Lovebug back to his office after the speech had ended, sending his squirrely assistant over to deliver the hand-written note in the Savior’s blocky, copperplate handwriting. For a long moment, I simply watched the crowd filtering out of the doors, heading back towards the complex where all the holy soldiers of the Savior lived. Feeling dissociated and light-headed, I followed behind the massive muscular form of Lovebug, the heavy weight of the M16 bouncing against my chest. We pushed through the blood-red velvet curtains, winding our way past stage equipment and down a hallway of pure marble.
Mystical paintings similar to those of Alex Grey covered both walls, showing the inside workings of the human body through art. It was as if the painter had X-ray vision and could see the heart chakra and the countless thin vessels that spiderwebbed up to the crown. But, unlike Alex Grey’s hopeful depictions of mysticism, these showed men and women being burned alive, crucified, decapitated or strangled. Dark colors composed the paintings: the dark blue of a suffocating face, the clotted red of an infected stab wound, the black of death. They captured the essence of struggle perfectly.
The Savior’s office had a thick mahogany door with silver engravings of leaves and vines running the length of it. At the top stood a single staring eye with twelve wavy tentacles emerging from the perimeter of it- the symbol of God, who the Savior had seen personally. God would sometimes speak through the mouth of the Savior, always during times of great tribulation or suffering. Lovebug knocked at the door. The Savior’s deep voice echoed out faintly.
“Come in.”
We entered slowly, the sprawling desk of the Savior filling half of the room. He sat in a comfortable chair behind it, reclining. On the walls behind him, he had pictures of Jesus, Saint Stephen, Gandhi, Hitler, Jim Jones, Shoko Asahara and others who he taught had fought against the world elites and been killed for it.
The Church of the Final Rapture was not a church in the conventional sense. The main teachings didn’t revolve around the divinity of Christ or the nature of original sin. What the Savior taught was far more profound- an illusory or simulated world where every single person could become their own Christ, could awaken to the truth and perform miracles, but only if they believed fully and followed the Savior.
“Sit down, please,” he said in his gravelly voice. “I have a mission I would like to discuss, and you two are the only ones competent and loyal enough to carry it out.”
***
“There is another anomaly spreading,” the Savior said, staring between me and Lovebug with his fanatical emerald eyes. “It is located in a rural part of the United States, in a town called-” he glanced down at the sheet of paper in front of him- “Frost Hollow. Supposedly, there are black-ops sites located nearby, secret alphabet agencies experimenting with magnetic distortion systems and creating rips in the fabric of spacetime with micro-wormholes.
“I don’t think it is much of a leap to say that the anomaly was likely started, either intentionally or unintentionally, by the government, as part of their research. The Cleaners would like to control that power, after all. They have been sending their men after it for years like sheep to the slaughter, expending billions of dollars researching it. If they and the US government end up being able to control the creation and spread of anomalies, they will use it to enslave the world. There is no question about it in my mind.” He leaned forwards towards us, his eyes growing cold.
“There is only one path forward I can see. We need to spread the anomaly, make it become unstable so the demons of Hell contained within it can spill out onto the real world. Perhaps it will awaken the downtrodden masses enough to begin the final revolution. We must fight terrorism with greater terrorism, and violence with greater levels of violence. For this mission, I am sending the two of you into Frost Hollow.
“Your job will be to find the Titan or Titans and lead them out to the border of the anomaly. These are horrendous beasts- indeed, the Church has seen them before. They are nearly impossible to kill. I want you two to go inside, bait it and have it follow you back to the edge, beyond the veil.”
“What’s a Titan?” Lovebug asked, his eyes flicking left and right nervously. The Savior stared at him stonily for a long moment. Then his eyes rolled back in his head, showing only the whites. All the blood seemed to drain from his face. His teeth chattered, his mouth opened, and through it, God spoke, the words pouring out like crashing stones. The voice did not sound anything like the Savior’s. It sounded much deeper, more mechanical, more alien somehow.
“I see you very well. I saw you when you were no more than a blood clot in your mother’s body. I see you even as corpses, rotted, putrefying, crawling with scavengers and insects. I see everything, every moment of time. But, in the anomaly, there are things I cannot see. For this, my holy ones must go forth.
“In the center of Hell, you will find a rose, a bird and a stone. These will be your salvation, if salvation can be found at all. Go with the blessing of Yaldabaoth.” The voice cut off abruptly, the silence deafening. I could hear my own heart pounding in my ears.
The Savior’s eyes came back down, looking confused and uncertain. His pupils were dilated and he was sweating heavily, even though it was cool and air-conditioned back here in his private office. We stared at each other across the table, a no-man’s land that protected me like a shield. For there seemed to be something dark in the Savior along with the light, and I didn’t know if any man could contain that power.
But there was no question of disobeying. Within the hour, Lovebug and I were on one of the Church’s private jets flying to the town of Frost Hollow.
***
The gently rolling hills of Frost Hollow loomed below us as the plane circled the small dirt airstrip in the middle of some cow farms. I looked up at Lovebug, trying to judge his stony expression. He had done many years in prison before joining the Church and finding salvation, even being the leader of one of the gangs. I knew he wasn’t afraid of violence. He had never told me what he did, what tortured him so much.
The Savior had told us much secret knowledge- how to find a Titan, a massive, bloated abomination that could come into being only within an anomaly, a combination of many rotted body pieces fused together in some sort of hellish black magic. The Savior had spies around Frost Hollow and the surrounding towns who had been monitoring the anomaly, watching the unstable gateways leading in and out and mapping them as best they could. We would be given a fast car, plenty of weapons and some body armor. I had no idea how nightmarish the journey would become, however.
“I’m driving,” Lovebug said as we descended the steps. A man in a black suit with the symbol of the eye and tentacles pinned on his black button-up shirt pulled up with a Mercedes AMG-One. It was a sleek, silver thing of immense luxury and power. The craftsmanship made it look like a work of art. I sighed, keeping my finger nervously on the trigger of my rifle as I glanced around the strange, empty town.
“If this thing won’t outrun a Titan, then nothing will,” I said, trying to break the tension. I looked at the speedometer, seeing it went up to 220 miles an hour.
“Damn fucking right,” Lovebug growled as we slid into the futuristic-looking leather seats. The engine turned on like a softly purring kitten. The GPS automatically turned on as well, the soft robotic voice leading us toward one of the more stable portals to the anomaly.
Lovebug sped down the empty forest roads of Frost Hollow, going twice the legal speed limit the entire way.
“The speed limit is only for the lowest common denominator,” Lovebug said pedantically, waggling a tattooed finger for emphasis. The GPS said we would reach the gateway to the anomaly in five minutes. Based on Lovebug’s speed, I thought it would be more like two. “Someone who actually knows how to drive and isn’t drunk or high can easily do 80 in a 40. Easily.” I glanced nervously at the speedometer, realizing he was going over 100 miles an hour now. The sports car hugged the tight corners of the winding forest roads with absolute precision.
“Turn right onto Snake Island Road Extension in five hundred feet,” the robotic female voice. Lovebug slammed on the brakes a few seconds later, the tires skidding and locking up. We looked around frantically, seeing no streets anywhere except the one we were on.
“What the hell?” Lovebug asked. The night was crawling in by now, the darkness covering the forests like a curtain. I squinted, looking at the thick grove of trees on our right, scanning it back and forth over and over. After a few seconds, I realized there was an overgrown dirt path there with no sign. It was nearly impossible to see at night, however, and calling it a road was somewhat of a joke.
“Oh, damn,” I said. “They should’ve given us an SUV.”
***
According to the GPS, our destination was only a thousand feet down Snake Island Road Extension. The low clearance of the Mercedes was a problem as Lovebug tried to navigate the flooded forest path. Deep tread marks flooded with black, stagnant water marked the entirety of Snake Island Road Extension. But ahead, the headlights illuminated something unusual.
Cutting straight across the trees and brush like a razorblade was a shimmering wall of translucent energy. It reminded me of a mirage, curving upwards in wavy spiral patterns. I could see through it easily, but it gave everything a dark, sinister covering. The forest seemed to be in constant motion as the grayish light distorted it.
“Look how huge it is!” I said in awe, staring up at the starry sky. The flat wall rose up seemingly forever, disappearing in the cold void of infinite space. Lovebug slowly ambled the car towards the anomaly, trying to keep the Mercedes from getting stuck with its low clearance.
“You ready for this, man?” Lovebug asked in a quavering voice as we inched towards the anomaly. It was only seconds away now. He grabbed my shoulder. “This is it. Remember the commandments.” I closed my eyes, concentrating my heart on the Savior’s words. Dying for the good is the highest bliss, he had told us.
“Let’s do this,” I said, my eyes flying open from my silent prayer as the hood passed through the anomaly. It disappeared in front of our eyes. We could see the forest on the other side, but the Mercedes looked like it was going through some sort of teleportation portal, being ripped apart layer by layer and sent somewhere else. Lovebug nervously grabbed my hand.
“For the Savior and for the Good,” he whispered as we passed through.
***
I heard screaming and wailing, full of agony and unimaginable horror, like the screams of those burning in Hell. My vision went white. A carpet of morphing dark colors covered everything as the shrieking intensified, until I thought my eardrums would explode.
“Stop!” I cried, feeling the pressure in my head like a splitting migraine. “Stop screaming!” I started kicking, punching, trying to get away.
“Calm the fuck down!” someone whispered, slapping me hard across the face. Stunned, I looked up, seeing Lovebug holding me down in the seat. He was covered in sweat, his face a blank mask of terror. “Don’t scream. There’s things outside that are looking this way.” I blinked fast, my senses coming back to me. I felt like a man waking up from surgery, confused and disoriented, my memories only returning in small trickles and drops.
We were sitting in the Mercedes on a road that looked like it had been made of human skin. The headlights showed the ragged patches of pale, leathery flesh sewn together with black thread. The road disappeared ahead of us in a straight line. The land here looked as flat as an ocean. Like a mirror world, it had houses and restaurants and churches lining both sides of the road, but they were all wrong.
The stone church looked like it was constructed of some kind of red volcanic rock. Baphomets and upside-down pentagrams covered the outer walls, engraved deeply into the glossy surface. Mutilated bodies covered the front lawn, impaled, crucified, skinned alive or burned at the stake. Hundreds of men, women and children lay dead in front of the Satanic temple.
Overhead, the sky bubbled and frothed with red clouds and constant explosions of blue lightning. Like missile flashes, the lightning illuminated the world around us, shining brightly before going dark. The incessant strobing gave the entire place a kind of circus freakshow vibe.
Many of the homes looked like they had been constructed from bones and covered in human skin, like some sort of hellish teepee. Arm and leg bones wrapped in razor-wire formed the pillars. Grinning skulls lined the top of the flat, rectangular roofs, thousands of bleached human heads staring down.
Staring out of the dark doorways, I saw gleaming, silvery eyes. They loomed eight or nine feet in the air on spidery bodies. Their limbs looked as thin as bones, jet-black and dull. The only color from these still revenants was from their unblinking eyes and grinning mouths, where teeth like those of a dragonfish jutted out. Every pair of eyes on that street was fixed intently on the Mercedes, the sick rictus grins on their alien faces never faltering.
“Jesus Christ, I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling weak. “I thought I was in a nightmare for a minute there.” Lovebug shrugged his massive shoulders.
“Yeah, I felt it too, though I came out of it a lot faster than you did,” he said, glancing over at the Satanic church as we passed. It had protective black spikes rising high into the air all around it. The broken body of a child who had been burnt at the stake stood in front of the gates like a death omen, his small, withered hand holding a black rose. Lovebug choked, retching. He nearly rolled down the window, until his eyes met the silvery ones of a nearby abomination.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking closer at the church. On top of the roof, I saw an enormous statue of a black raven, its wings spread as if it were flying. It had three gleaming, silvery eyes embedded into the dark rock.
“That boy just reminds me of my son,” Lovebug whispered glumly, inching along the streets.
“I didn’t know you had a son,” I said, surprised. Lovebug had never mentioned a family. He shrugged.
“I don’t. Not anymore. I killed him. I got drunk and high one night back when I was selling drugs. Fell asleep in the living room with a lit cigarette and burned down the whole house. I killed my wife and son, burned them. They sent me to prison, but what did that matter? The prison up here is far worse.” He tapped the side of his temple.
I was about to say something, but at that moment, many things happened at once.
***
Lovebug was staring at the corpse of the child when an inhumanly long arm reached up from the side of the car. It had fingers like spikes, as sharp as a knife and twice as long as normal human fingers. I gasped, a warning shout welling up in my throat, but the hand came smashing down into the driver’s side window and grabbed Lovebug’s neck.
The window exploded in a shower of safety glass, shattering like brittle bones. Lovebug’s scream was cut off as he was dragged, kicking and screaming, out of the car. I swung open my door, leaping out and bringing my rifle around.
The Cheshire Cat grin of the abomination never faltered as it held Lovebug in front of its body like a human shield, holding him by the neck above the ground. Lovebug’s legs kicked and squirmed, his face turning blue as he slowly suffocated. His eyes bulged from their sockets, panicked and rolling, uncomprehending in their total animal panic.
I flicked on the laser sight. It danced over the ground, flashing over the body of Lovebug and the abomination. But I couldn’t aim for its torso or face, as I would probably hit Lovebug in the process. It was far too close.
I aimed for the monster’s thin, skeletal feet, the black toes twisting over each other like the roots of a tree. The gunshots rang out as a deafening counterpoint to the thunder blasts.
The monster gave a hissing gurgle as two bullets caught it in the right ankle. The creature seemed bloodless, and only dust and ashes rolled out of the exploded insectile flesh. It tried to skitter away, but its destroyed ankle caused it to fall forward, throwing Lovebug.
His body rolled across the road, the soft leather that looked like it was made from tens of thousands of human skins. Gasping, his lips still showing a faint blue cast, he struggled to crawl away.
I saw furtive movement from all around us. The creatures in the houses and doorways were moving forwards, drawn by the bloodshed or noise. Hundreds of glowing, silvery eyes surrounded us. I sprinted forward, dragging Lovebug to his feet.
“The church,” I hissed. “It’s the only place.” Still pulling the weak, confused Lovebug behind me, we staggered towards the black gates. They opened with a shriek of rusted metal.
***
The creatures stopped at the gates to the blood-red church, simply staring at us like statues. They didn’t even seem to breathe, their lidless eyes never blinking, the silvery glow never fading.
“I think this is the place we’re meant to go,” I whispered as we made our way towards the massive pointed doors. “When God spoke to us, he said something about a stone, a bird and a rose, that we would find the Titan through that.” I pointed back at the burnt body of the boy. “He’s holding a rose. On top of the building, there’s a bird. And the church is all stone. Maybe this is the place where God wanted us to go all along.”
“Maybe,” Lovebug muttered through heaving gasps, still grabbing at his bruised neck. “God, this hurts. It feels like I got hanged.” Side by side, we pushed open the doors to the Satanic church and walked inside.
***
Row after row of pews stretched out in front of us. Thousands of black candles were set up all around the perimeter of the enormous chamber. They sputtered and flickered constantly, throwing dancing shadows in every direction.
A small pair of bright eyes glanced up at us from under one of the nearby pews. I nearly jumped out of my skin, pointing the rifle at them and yelling.
“Show yourself! Come out now, or I shoot!” Lovebug looked at me, confused. He hadn’t seen it. But a few heartbeats later, a little girl crawled out, her eyes big and blue, her body an emaciated wreck. She wore ripped strands of what looked like leathery human skin to cover herself, tied together with black string. In one small, grime-streaked hand, she held a half-eaten raw mouse.
“Please, don’t kill me,” she said in a small voice. “I’m Emma. My mommy and daddy got dragged away and I’m scared.” I felt sick and weak looking at this small victim. I reached down and helped her up.
“I wouldn’t hurt you,” I said, kneeling down to her level. “I thought you were one of the bad guys. This is Lovebug, and I’m Jack.”
“This isn’t part of the mission, man,” Lovebug said nervously. “What are we supposed to do with her?”
“Well, we can’t just fucking leave her here,” I whispered back. “We need…” But I never got to finish that thought. Because, at that moment, the church woke up.
***
A red glow started at the front of the chamber, the altar where the priest would have stood and given speeches or holy communion. Here, they had a podium that looked like it was carved from a single block of obsidian. Reflected in it, I saw the screaming faces of people burning in Hell, grinning demons ripping off strips of human flesh and spiraling waves of flames, all sculpted by an artist who was able to capture the most miniscule details of agony and torture.
I looked around, realizing Emma had gone. I hadn’t seen her scurry away and hide, but her absence gave me a feeling of crushing dread in my chest.
“Lovebug, something’s wrong,” I whispered, still staring up at the altar. I heard a floorboard creak behind me. I glanced back just in time to see a man wearing full SWAT gear. I caught the flash of a pistol coming down, the butt aimed at my forehead. I heard the cracking, felt the immense pressure and pain. For a few moments, I swam in the currents of consciousness, trying to stay awake, but then the blackness crept in and stole me away.
***
I awoke suddenly, my hands tied so tightly behind my back that I couldn’t feel my fingers. I felt sick and wanted to throw up. I quickly choked those feelings back down. I tried to shake my head, to clear it, but that just brought jolts of pain like electricity shooting through my skull. Nearby, I heard a gunshot, then another.
“Bring it, fuckers!” Lovebug screamed in an insane voice. The explosion of a grenade rocked the building, and I smelled choking black smoke. I opened my eyes, seeing three men in SWAT gear laying dead, their bodies scattered haphazardly around the chaotic scene. One wall of the church had blown outwards, the stone still sending out gray wisps of wavy smoke into the air. I looked at my partner, seeing he had a bullet hole in his left arm and another one in his stomach. He was bleeding heavily, but the adrenaline and insanity seemed to keep him afloat- for now, at least.
I saw something walking towards us from the stage. It looked like a small boy, but black shadows spiraled up around his chest and face, translucent and shimmering darkly. He looked about five or six, his skin pale and smooth. As Lovebug’s face grew slack and distant, the boy abruptly erupted into flames.
“Don’t kill me again, Dad,” the small boy whispered in a hoarse voice choked with pain. The flames rose from his head and skin, melting his flesh, blackening it. Drops of boiling fat dribbled off his nose and chin. “Don’t send me to the dark place again, Dad…” He continued creeping closer to Lovebug, moving like a lion stalking an antelope.
“I didn’t know!” Lovebug cried, his face going paler. Tears streamed from his eyes as the rifle trembled wildly in his shaking hands. For a long moment, he looked torn, the finger tightening on the trigger as sobs escaped his chattering lips.
“Kill it, Lovebug!” I screamed. “Don’t let it get to you!” But as he dropped the rifle and knelt before the small boy, I knew it was too late.
The shadows spun faster and faster around the burning, dying body of the boy. He gave a scream of soul-shattering agony, reaching out to a small hand towards Lovebug.
“Help me!” the boy cried. Lovebug hesitated before bringing an arm up to take the boy’s hand.
“I missed you, Robbie,” Lovebug said before his fingers brushed the boys. The boy lunged forward, grabbing Lovebug’s hand with an iron grip. I saw Lovebug’s eyes widen in shock and surprise. A moment later, I heard the bones in his hand grinding together before breaking with a sound like snapping tree branches. The boy’s eyes darkened into jet-black orbs, the melted lips splitting into a sadistic grin.
“I missed you, too,” the thing hissed as its right arm changed, melting and reforming into something black and blade-like. The insectile limb swung forward in a blur, coming straight at Lovebug’s heart. He gave a panicked squeal a moment before it hit, trying to pull away with all of his considerable strength, his face turning chalk-white as the shattered bones in his hands ground together.
I closed my eyes, rolling away, trying to undo the knots that held my hands in place. Lovebug must have been greatly outnumbered. He would never have let that man tie me up. I heard the sounds of tearing meat and crunching bone nearby. Lovebug’s final breaths gurgled through the air, but I still kept my eyes closed, not wanting to look.
I felt a small tickle on my wrists, then heard a little voice next to my ear.
“I’ll get you out of here,” Emma whispered. I waited a few moments, then I heard the ropes snap. I looked back, seeing her holding a piece of sharp, broken glass in one tiny hand. In her other, she had the car keys. I wondered how she had gotten them, the little pickpocket.
“Thank God,” I said, rubbing my wrists. I looked around for my rifle, seeing it was laying next to the body of one of the SWAT guys. I wondered who these men were. I crawled towards it slowly, not wanting to draw attention.
“Don’t move another step,” a voice growled behind me. I glanced back, seeing the small boy, his features morphing into those of a demon. Curving horns spiraled from his temples. His jet-black eyes stared down at me with hatred and coldness. “You’ll follow your friend who killed my servants. His soul will stay alive forever within my body, a sickly thing wrapped up in an eternal shriek.”
“Fuck you,” I cried, lunging for my rifle. Emma disappeared behind a pew, running on all fours without looking back. I spun as I hit the ground, turning the barrel towards the morphing face of the shape-shifter. Its jaw unhinged, a snake-like tongue flicking out as it flew through the air towards me. Hollow fangs dripping clear venom grew from its mouth in a heartbeat, elongating and sharpening before my very eyes.
I fired twice, the bullets entering through its mouth and coming out the back of its head. Its flesh disintegrated in an instant, the body turning into light, gray ashes that disappeared in the breeze. Breathing hard, I waited, wondering if it was all over.
I heard a rumbling far below me, as if an earthquake were starting. A moment later, the church floor exploded upwards, sharp rubble and splintered boards flying in every direction.
***
“It’s coming!” Emma screamed, running over and grabbing my hand. I lay there, shell-shocked and unmoving for a long moment. In hindsight, the girl was a natural born survivor with much sharper reflexes than me. It was likely the only reason she survived as long as she had.
“The Titan,” I whispered grimly, trying to pull myself up to my feet. But it was like trying to walk on a heaving, sinking ship. Parts of the floor collapsed down into a seemingly never-ending abyss beneath us.
Near the stage, I saw hundreds of long, pale arms pulling something bloated and monstrous out of the ground. It was a Titan, and no explanation can ever convey the true horror of that thing.
It looked like countless human corpses had been melted together, fused into a ball with sagging, boneless chests, deformed faces and millions of writhing maggots. It groaned and gurgled with many lungs, exhaling a rotting, sulfurous breeze that made me want to retch. A soft susurration of many pained, muttering voices continuously emanated from the Titan.
“Emma, run!” I screamed, but she was already sprinting back towards the front door of the church. I backpedaled, afraid to look away from the creeping monstrosity, the juggernaut of rotting flesh moving towards us.
I heard the Titan closing the distance as I sprinted through the front door. The abominations with the silver eyes still slunk around the gate, blocking the car. I raised the rifle, firing blindly at the creatures, careful not to hit the little girl.
“Go to the car!” I screamed at Emma, feeling around for the keys. As the abominations saw the Titan, those still alive scattered, moving in a blur back into the shadows and homes of this rotten place.
The Titan broke the front wall of the church, sending splinters of red stone flying in every direction like bullets. It groaned and gurgled faster, its sickly cries more insistent. I ran to the Mercedes, starting it up and pressing the accelerator to the floor. I pulled a U-turn, heading back to the border of the anomaly.
***
The engine roared, the car bucking like a wild stallion as it pressed me and Emma back into our seats. But the creeping Titan continued gaining speed behind us, and for a few seconds, I feared we would be crushed to death under its massive weight.
The anomaly shimmered ahead of us. I crashed through it at two hundred miles an hour, skidding wildly as the Mercedes hit the dirt road. I nearly flew into a tree. I managed to right it at the last second, pulling onto the paved street as the Titan broke through behind us.
It followed us out. It’s in the real world now.
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His flat gray eyes scanned the room with a fanatical gleam. I sat in the first row, watching and waiting. Followers of the Savior would tell their stories, how the Savior had reached down and lifted them out of sin and filth to bring them up to the divine. The bright fluorescent lights overhead droned on with a low hum. Thousands of men crammed together in seats or stood at the back of the room.
The Savior taught only two commandments: to murder is holy, and to die for the Savior is the highest bliss. An army of warriors followed the Savior, knights on a holy crusade, priests who wouldn’t hesitate to burn the foul bodies of any witches or demons we encountered. I thought of myself as a knight for the holy king, our Savior, the mouthpiece of the eternal.
“Now, it is like the hand of God has reached into my heart and loosened all the knots there, the knots of anxiety and fear and uncertainty.” He raised his black, military-style rifle into the air for emphasis. “I never realized the true nature of reality before- the fact that we are living in a simulation where the final battle of good versus evil is playing out before our very eyes. And I will be on the side of the good, until my dying breath. I will be on the side of the Savior and of God!”
The crowd roared and clapped. Men got to their feet, sweating heavily in the boiling hot conference room. I felt the surge of energy pass through me like a tidal wave, the pure confidence and iron will of truth. Lovebug lumbered down off the stage as the Savior came out from behind the red curtains, walking with the straight spine of a soldier. He wore a silky black robe that fluttered softly around him, the hood pulled back.
The Savior had horrific burns running the length of his body. His arms had melted folds of keloid scars visible all the way to the tips of his fingers. His scalp had also melted, and the Savior had no hair except for his eyelashes and eyebrows. But the fire that had nearly killed him had spared his face, an aristocratic visage with ferocious green eyes like those of a cat. That face seemed like it had been sculpted out of marble by DaVinci himself, the high cheekbones jutting out over a chin so sharp that it looked like it could have hammered nails into boards. He stared out at the crowd for a long moment, his gaze unblinking.
“The final battle has begun,” he said in a low voice, no more than a whisper. Yet, in the deathly silence of the hall, his words rang out loud and clear. “Those in charge of this illusory world know that we see them. We see them very well, how they hide behind the curtain. They control the world economy, the justice system. Every government, whether they call themselves communist, authoritarian or democratic, is no more than a puppet in their dancing fingers.
“When anyone tries to stand up and lead the masses of suffering people towards freedom from slavery, they are vilified by the mainstream media, brought up on false charges or killed, their bodies staged to look like a suicide. Look what they did to Jesus, and for what? For telling people to love God more than their rulers? And those who speak out today are also crucified, murdered in prisons or killed by their governments. Truth is the most precious commodity, after all. It is one that can only be purchased with blood.
“So what can we do? How can we fight against such evil?” There was a quiet muttering among the pale, frozen faces that stared up at the stage with adoration and love.
“We can fight it by using their own weapons against them!” the Savior said, his voice rising in speed and pitch. He raised his fisted hands to his chest, accentuating each syllable with a back and forth stab of his hands. “Fight fire with fire, and pay back blood with blood! The only thing these global terrorists understand is greater levels of force. We must show them death on a scale they have never before imagined.” I felt nervous as the Savior delivered his message. I saw other men shuffle anxiously in the crowded auditorium, most of them having high-caliber rifles slung around their shoulders.
I felt the rising violence and bloodlust in the air like electricity before a lightning storm. At that moment, I knew we would all have to fight before too long.
***
The Savior called me and Lovebug back to his office after the speech had ended, sending his squirrely assistant over to deliver the hand-written note in the Savior’s blocky, copperplate handwriting. For a long moment, I simply watched the crowd filtering out of the doors, heading back towards the complex where all the holy soldiers of the Savior lived. Feeling dissociated and light-headed, I followed behind the massive muscular form of Lovebug, the heavy weight of the M16 bouncing against my chest. We pushed through the blood-red velvet curtains, winding our way past stage equipment and down a hallway of pure marble.
Mystical paintings similar to those of Alex Grey covered both walls, showing the inside workings of the human body through art. It was as if the painter had X-ray vision and could see the heart chakra and the countless thin vessels that spiderwebbed up to the crown. But, unlike Alex Grey’s hopeful depictions of mysticism, these showed men and women being burned alive, crucified, decapitated or strangled. Dark colors composed the paintings: the dark blue of a suffocating face, the clotted red of an infected stab wound, the black of death. They captured the essence of struggle perfectly.
The Savior’s office had a thick mahogany door with silver engravings of leaves and vines running the length of it. At the top stood a single staring eye with twelve wavy tentacles emerging from the perimeter of it- the symbol of God, who the Savior had seen personally. God would sometimes speak through the mouth of the Savior, always during times of great tribulation or suffering. Lovebug knocked at the door. The Savior’s deep voice echoed out faintly.
“Come in.”
We entered slowly, the sprawling desk of the Savior filling half of the room. He sat in a comfortable chair behind it, reclining. On the walls behind him, he had pictures of Jesus, Saint Stephen, Gandhi, Hitler, Jim Jones, Shoko Asahara and others who he taught had fought against the world elites and been killed for it.
The Church of the Final Rapture was not a church in the conventional sense. The main teachings didn’t revolve around the divinity of Christ or the nature of original sin. What the Savior taught was far more profound- an illusory or simulated world where every single person could become their own Christ, could awaken to the truth and perform miracles, but only if they believed fully and followed the Savior.
“Sit down, please,” he said in his gravelly voice. “I have a mission I would like to discuss, and you two are the only ones competent and loyal enough to carry it out.”
***
“There is another anomaly spreading,” the Savior said, staring between me and Lovebug with his fanatical emerald eyes. “It is located in a rural part of the United States, in a town called-” he glanced down at the sheet of paper in front of him- “Frost Hollow. Supposedly, there are black-ops sites located nearby, secret alphabet agencies experimenting with magnetic distortion systems and creating rips in the fabric of spacetime with micro-wormholes.
“I don’t think it is much of a leap to say that the anomaly was likely started, either intentionally or unintentionally, by the government, as part of their research. The Cleaners would like to control that power, after all. They have been sending their men after it for years like sheep to the slaughter, expending billions of dollars researching it. If they and the US government end up being able to control the creation and spread of anomalies, they will use it to enslave the world. There is no question about it in my mind.” He leaned forwards towards us, his eyes growing cold.
“There is only one path forward I can see. We need to spread the anomaly, make it become unstable so the demons of Hell contained within it can spill out onto the real world. Perhaps it will awaken the downtrodden masses enough to begin the final revolution. We must fight terrorism with greater terrorism, and violence with greater levels of violence. For this mission, I am sending the two of you into Frost Hollow.
“Your job will be to find the Titan or Titans and lead them out to the border of the anomaly. These are horrendous beasts- indeed, the Church has seen them before. They are nearly impossible to kill. I want you two to go inside, bait it and have it follow you back to the edge, beyond the veil.”
“What’s a Titan?” Lovebug asked, his eyes flicking left and right nervously. The Savior stared at him stonily for a long moment. Then his eyes rolled back in his head, showing only the whites. All the blood seemed to drain from his face. His teeth chattered, his mouth opened, and through it, God spoke, the words pouring out like crashing stones. The voice did not sound anything like the Savior’s. It sounded much deeper, more mechanical, more alien somehow.
“I see you very well. I saw you when you were no more than a blood clot in your mother’s body. I see you even as corpses, rotted, putrefying, crawling with scavengers and insects. I see everything, every moment of time. But, in the anomaly, there are things I cannot see. For this, my holy ones must go forth.
“In the center of Hell, you will find a rose, a bird and a stone. These will be your salvation, if salvation can be found at all. Go with the blessing of Yaldabaoth.” The voice cut off abruptly, the silence deafening. I could hear my own heart pounding in my ears.
The Savior’s eyes came back down, looking confused and uncertain. His pupils were dilated and he was sweating heavily, even though it was cool and air-conditioned back here in his private office. We stared at each other across the table, a no-man’s land that protected me like a shield. For there seemed to be something dark in the Savior along with the light, and I didn’t know if any man could contain that power.
But there was no question of disobeying. Within the hour, Lovebug and I were on one of the Church’s private jets flying to the town of Frost Hollow.
***
The gently rolling hills of Frost Hollow loomed below us as the plane circled the small dirt airstrip in the middle of some cow farms. I looked up at Lovebug, trying to judge his stony expression. He had done many years in prison before joining the Church and finding salvation, even being the leader of one of the gangs. I knew he wasn’t afraid of violence. He had never told me what he did, what tortured him so much.
The Savior had told us much secret knowledge- how to find a Titan, a massive, bloated abomination that could come into being only within an anomaly, a combination of many rotted body pieces fused together in some sort of hellish black magic. The Savior had spies around Frost Hollow and the surrounding towns who had been monitoring the anomaly, watching the unstable gateways leading in and out and mapping them as best they could. We would be given a fast car, plenty of weapons and some body armor. I had no idea how nightmarish the journey would become, however.
“I’m driving,” Lovebug said as we descended the steps. A man in a black suit with the symbol of the eye and tentacles pinned on his black button-up shirt pulled up with a Mercedes AMG-One. It was a sleek, silver thing of immense luxury and power. The craftsmanship made it look like a work of art. I sighed, keeping my finger nervously on the trigger of my rifle as I glanced around the strange, empty town.
“If this thing won’t outrun a Titan, then nothing will,” I said, trying to break the tension. I looked at the speedometer, seeing it went up to 220 miles an hour.
“Damn fucking right,” Lovebug growled as we slid into the futuristic-looking leather seats. The engine turned on like a softly purring kitten. The GPS automatically turned on as well, the soft robotic voice leading us toward one of the more stable portals to the anomaly.
Lovebug sped down the empty forest roads of Frost Hollow, going twice the legal speed limit the entire way.
“The speed limit is only for the lowest common denominator,” Lovebug said pedantically, waggling a tattooed finger for emphasis. The GPS said we would reach the gateway to the anomaly in five minutes. Based on Lovebug’s speed, I thought it would be more like two. “Someone who actually knows how to drive and isn’t drunk or high can easily do 80 in a 40. Easily.” I glanced nervously at the speedometer, realizing he was going over 100 miles an hour now. The sports car hugged the tight corners of the winding forest roads with absolute precision.
“Turn right onto Snake Island Road Extension in five hundred feet,” the robotic female voice. Lovebug slammed on the brakes a few seconds later, the tires skidding and locking up. We looked around frantically, seeing no streets anywhere except the one we were on.
“What the hell?” Lovebug asked. The night was crawling in by now, the darkness covering the forests like a curtain. I squinted, looking at the thick grove of trees on our right, scanning it back and forth over and over. After a few seconds, I realized there was an overgrown dirt path there with no sign. It was nearly impossible to see at night, however, and calling it a road was somewhat of a joke.
“Oh, damn,” I said. “They should’ve given us an SUV.”
***
According to the GPS, our destination was only a thousand feet down Snake Island Road Extension. The low clearance of the Mercedes was a problem as Lovebug tried to navigate the flooded forest path. Deep tread marks flooded with black, stagnant water marked the entirety of Snake Island Road Extension. But ahead, the headlights illuminated something unusual.
Cutting straight across the trees and brush like a razorblade was a shimmering wall of translucent energy. It reminded me of a mirage, curving upwards in wavy spiral patterns. I could see through it easily, but it gave everything a dark, sinister covering. The forest seemed to be in constant motion as the grayish light distorted it.
“Look how huge it is!” I said in awe, staring up at the starry sky. The flat wall rose up seemingly forever, disappearing in the cold void of infinite space. Lovebug slowly ambled the car towards the anomaly, trying to keep the Mercedes from getting stuck with its low clearance.
“You ready for this, man?” Lovebug asked in a quavering voice as we inched towards the anomaly. It was only seconds away now. He grabbed my shoulder. “This is it. Remember the commandments.” I closed my eyes, concentrating my heart on the Savior’s words. Dying for the good is the highest bliss, he had told us.
“Let’s do this,” I said, my eyes flying open from my silent prayer as the hood passed through the anomaly. It disappeared in front of our eyes. We could see the forest on the other side, but the Mercedes looked like it was going through some sort of teleportation portal, being ripped apart layer by layer and sent somewhere else. Lovebug nervously grabbed my hand.
“For the Savior and for the Good,” he whispered as we passed through.
***
I heard screaming and wailing, full of agony and unimaginable horror, like the screams of those burning in Hell. My vision went white. A carpet of morphing dark colors covered everything as the shrieking intensified, until I thought my eardrums would explode.
“Stop!” I cried, feeling the pressure in my head like a splitting migraine. “Stop screaming!” I started kicking, punching, trying to get away.
“Calm the fuck down!” someone whispered, slapping me hard across the face. Stunned, I looked up, seeing Lovebug holding me down in the seat. He was covered in sweat, his face a blank mask of terror. “Don’t scream. There’s things outside that are looking this way.” I blinked fast, my senses coming back to me. I felt like a man waking up from surgery, confused and disoriented, my memories only returning in small trickles and drops.
We were sitting in the Mercedes on a road that looked like it had been made of human skin. The headlights showed the ragged patches of pale, leathery flesh sewn together with black thread. The road disappeared ahead of us in a straight line. The land here looked as flat as an ocean. Like a mirror world, it had houses and restaurants and churches lining both sides of the road, but they were all wrong.
The stone church looked like it was constructed of some kind of red volcanic rock. Baphomets and upside-down pentagrams covered the outer walls, engraved deeply into the glossy surface. Mutilated bodies covered the front lawn, impaled, crucified, skinned alive or burned at the stake. Hundreds of men, women and children lay dead in front of the Satanic temple.
Overhead, the sky bubbled and frothed with red clouds and constant explosions of blue lightning. Like missile flashes, the lightning illuminated the world around us, shining brightly before going dark. The incessant strobing gave the entire place a kind of circus freakshow vibe.
Many of the homes looked like they had been constructed from bones and covered in human skin, like some sort of hellish teepee. Arm and leg bones wrapped in razor-wire formed the pillars. Grinning skulls lined the top of the flat, rectangular roofs, thousands of bleached human heads staring down.
Staring out of the dark doorways, I saw gleaming, silvery eyes. They loomed eight or nine feet in the air on spidery bodies. Their limbs looked as thin as bones, jet-black and dull. The only color from these still revenants was from their unblinking eyes and grinning mouths, where teeth like those of a dragonfish jutted out. Every pair of eyes on that street was fixed intently on the Mercedes, the sick rictus grins on their alien faces never faltering.
“Jesus Christ, I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling weak. “I thought I was in a nightmare for a minute there.” Lovebug shrugged his massive shoulders.
“Yeah, I felt it too, though I came out of it a lot faster than you did,” he said, glancing over at the Satanic church as we passed. It had protective black spikes rising high into the air all around it. The broken body of a child who had been burnt at the stake stood in front of the gates like a death omen, his small, withered hand holding a black rose. Lovebug choked, retching. He nearly rolled down the window, until his eyes met the silvery ones of a nearby abomination.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking closer at the church. On top of the roof, I saw an enormous statue of a black raven, its wings spread as if it were flying. It had three gleaming, silvery eyes embedded into the dark rock.
“That boy just reminds me of my son,” Lovebug whispered glumly, inching along the streets.
“I didn’t know you had a son,” I said, surprised. Lovebug had never mentioned a family. He shrugged.
“I don’t. Not anymore. I killed him. I got drunk and high one night back when I was selling drugs. Fell asleep in the living room with a lit cigarette and burned down the whole house. I killed my wife and son, burned them. They sent me to prison, but what did that matter? The prison up here is far worse.” He tapped the side of his temple.
I was about to say something, but at that moment, many things happened at once.
***
Lovebug was staring at the corpse of the child when an inhumanly long arm reached up from the side of the car. It had fingers like spikes, as sharp as a knife and twice as long as normal human fingers. I gasped, a warning shout welling up in my throat, but the hand came smashing down into the driver’s side window and grabbed Lovebug’s neck.
The window exploded in a shower of safety glass, shattering like brittle bones. Lovebug’s scream was cut off as he was dragged, kicking and screaming, out of the car. I swung open my door, leaping out and bringing my rifle around.
The Cheshire Cat grin of the abomination never faltered as it held Lovebug in front of its body like a human shield, holding him by the neck above the ground. Lovebug’s legs kicked and squirmed, his face turning blue as he slowly suffocated. His eyes bulged from their sockets, panicked and rolling, uncomprehending in their total animal panic.
I flicked on the laser sight. It danced over the ground, flashing over the body of Lovebug and the abomination. But I couldn’t aim for its torso or face, as I would probably hit Lovebug in the process. It was far too close.
I aimed for the monster’s thin, skeletal feet, the black toes twisting over each other like the roots of a tree. The gunshots rang out as a deafening counterpoint to the thunder blasts.
The monster gave a hissing gurgle as two bullets caught it in the right ankle. The creature seemed bloodless, and only dust and ashes rolled out of the exploded insectile flesh. It tried to skitter away, but its destroyed ankle caused it to fall forward, throwing Lovebug.
His body rolled across the road, the soft leather that looked like it was made from tens of thousands of human skins. Gasping, his lips still showing a faint blue cast, he struggled to crawl away.
I saw furtive movement from all around us. The creatures in the houses and doorways were moving forwards, drawn by the bloodshed or noise. Hundreds of glowing, silvery eyes surrounded us. I sprinted forward, dragging Lovebug to his feet.
“The church,” I hissed. “It’s the only place.” Still pulling the weak, confused Lovebug behind me, we staggered towards the black gates. They opened with a shriek of rusted metal.
***
The creatures stopped at the gates to the blood-red church, simply staring at us like statues. They didn’t even seem to breathe, their lidless eyes never blinking, the silvery glow never fading.
“I think this is the place we’re meant to go,” I whispered as we made our way towards the massive pointed doors. “When God spoke to us, he said something about a stone, a bird and a rose, that we would find the Titan through that.” I pointed back at the burnt body of the boy. “He’s holding a rose. On top of the building, there’s a bird. And the church is all stone. Maybe this is the place where God wanted us to go all along.”
“Maybe,” Lovebug muttered through heaving gasps, still grabbing at his bruised neck. “God, this hurts. It feels like I got hanged.” Side by side, we pushed open the doors to the Satanic church and walked inside.
***
Row after row of pews stretched out in front of us. Thousands of black candles were set up all around the perimeter of the enormous chamber. They sputtered and flickered constantly, throwing dancing shadows in every direction.
A small pair of bright eyes glanced up at us from under one of the nearby pews. I nearly jumped out of my skin, pointing the rifle at them and yelling.
“Show yourself! Come out now, or I shoot!” Lovebug looked at me, confused. He hadn’t seen it. But a few heartbeats later, a little girl crawled out, her eyes big and blue, her body an emaciated wreck. She wore ripped strands of what looked like leathery human skin to cover herself, tied together with black string. In one small, grime-streaked hand, she held a half-eaten raw mouse.
“Please, don’t kill me,” she said in a small voice. “I’m Emma. My mommy and daddy got dragged away and I’m scared.” I felt sick and weak looking at this small victim. I reached down and helped her up.
“I wouldn’t hurt you,” I said, kneeling down to her level. “I thought you were one of the bad guys. This is Lovebug, and I’m Jack.”
“This isn’t part of the mission, man,” Lovebug said nervously. “What are we supposed to do with her?”
“Well, we can’t just fucking leave her here,” I whispered back. “We need…” But I never got to finish that thought. Because, at that moment, the church woke up.
***
A red glow started at the front of the chamber, the altar where the priest would have stood and given speeches or holy communion. Here, they had a podium that looked like it was carved from a single block of obsidian. Reflected in it, I saw the screaming faces of people burning in Hell, grinning demons ripping off strips of human flesh and spiraling waves of flames, all sculpted by an artist who was able to capture the most miniscule details of agony and torture.
I looked around, realizing Emma had gone. I hadn’t seen her scurry away and hide, but her absence gave me a feeling of crushing dread in my chest.
“Lovebug, something’s wrong,” I whispered, still staring up at the altar. I heard a floorboard creak behind me. I glanced back just in time to see a man wearing full SWAT gear. I caught the flash of a pistol coming down, the butt aimed at my forehead. I heard the cracking, felt the immense pressure and pain. For a few moments, I swam in the currents of consciousness, trying to stay awake, but then the blackness crept in and stole me away.
***
I awoke suddenly, my hands tied so tightly behind my back that I couldn’t feel my fingers. I felt sick and wanted to throw up. I quickly choked those feelings back down. I tried to shake my head, to clear it, but that just brought jolts of pain like electricity shooting through my skull. Nearby, I heard a gunshot, then another.
“Bring it, fuckers!” Lovebug screamed in an insane voice. The explosion of a grenade rocked the building, and I smelled choking black smoke. I opened my eyes, seeing three men in SWAT gear laying dead, their bodies scattered haphazardly around the chaotic scene. One wall of the church had blown outwards, the stone still sending out gray wisps of wavy smoke into the air. I looked at my partner, seeing he had a bullet hole in his left arm and another one in his stomach. He was bleeding heavily, but the adrenaline and insanity seemed to keep him afloat- for now, at least.
I saw something walking towards us from the stage. It looked like a small boy, but black shadows spiraled up around his chest and face, translucent and shimmering darkly. He looked about five or six, his skin pale and smooth. As Lovebug’s face grew slack and distant, the boy abruptly erupted into flames.
“Don’t kill me again, Dad,” the small boy whispered in a hoarse voice choked with pain. The flames rose from his head and skin, melting his flesh, blackening it. Drops of boiling fat dribbled off his nose and chin. “Don’t send me to the dark place again, Dad…” He continued creeping closer to Lovebug, moving like a lion stalking an antelope.
“I didn’t know!” Lovebug cried, his face going paler. Tears streamed from his eyes as the rifle trembled wildly in his shaking hands. For a long moment, he looked torn, the finger tightening on the trigger as sobs escaped his chattering lips.
“Kill it, Lovebug!” I screamed. “Don’t let it get to you!” But as he dropped the rifle and knelt before the small boy, I knew it was too late.
The shadows spun faster and faster around the burning, dying body of the boy. He gave a scream of soul-shattering agony, reaching out to a small hand towards Lovebug.
“Help me!” the boy cried. Lovebug hesitated before bringing an arm up to take the boy’s hand.
“I missed you, Robbie,” Lovebug said before his fingers brushed the boys. The boy lunged forward, grabbing Lovebug’s hand with an iron grip. I saw Lovebug’s eyes widen in shock and surprise. A moment later, I heard the bones in his hand grinding together before breaking with a sound like snapping tree branches. The boy’s eyes darkened into jet-black orbs, the melted lips splitting into a sadistic grin.
“I missed you, too,” the thing hissed as its right arm changed, melting and reforming into something black and blade-like. The insectile limb swung forward in a blur, coming straight at Lovebug’s heart. He gave a panicked squeal a moment before it hit, trying to pull away with all of his considerable strength, his face turning chalk-white as the shattered bones in his hands ground together.
I closed my eyes, rolling away, trying to undo the knots that held my hands in place. Lovebug must have been greatly outnumbered. He would never have let that man tie me up. I heard the sounds of tearing meat and crunching bone nearby. Lovebug’s final breaths gurgled through the air, but I still kept my eyes closed, not wanting to look.
I felt a small tickle on my wrists, then heard a little voice next to my ear.
“I’ll get you out of here,” Emma whispered. I waited a few moments, then I heard the ropes snap. I looked back, seeing her holding a piece of sharp, broken glass in one tiny hand. In her other, she had the car keys. I wondered how she had gotten them, the little pickpocket.
“Thank God,” I said, rubbing my wrists. I looked around for my rifle, seeing it was laying next to the body of one of the SWAT guys. I wondered who these men were. I crawled towards it slowly, not wanting to draw attention.
“Don’t move another step,” a voice growled behind me. I glanced back, seeing the small boy, his features morphing into those of a demon. Curving horns spiraled from his temples. His jet-black eyes stared down at me with hatred and coldness. “You’ll follow your friend who killed my servants. His soul will stay alive forever within my body, a sickly thing wrapped up in an eternal shriek.”
“Fuck you,” I cried, lunging for my rifle. Emma disappeared behind a pew, running on all fours without looking back. I spun as I hit the ground, turning the barrel towards the morphing face of the shape-shifter. Its jaw unhinged, a snake-like tongue flicking out as it flew through the air towards me. Hollow fangs dripping clear venom grew from its mouth in a heartbeat, elongating and sharpening before my very eyes.
I fired twice, the bullets entering through its mouth and coming out the back of its head. Its flesh disintegrated in an instant, the body turning into light, gray ashes that disappeared in the breeze. Breathing hard, I waited, wondering if it was all over.
I heard a rumbling far below me, as if an earthquake were starting. A moment later, the church floor exploded upwards, sharp rubble and splintered boards flying in every direction.
***
“It’s coming!” Emma screamed, running over and grabbing my hand. I lay there, shell-shocked and unmoving for a long moment. In hindsight, the girl was a natural born survivor with much sharper reflexes than me. It was likely the only reason she survived as long as she had.
“The Titan,” I whispered grimly, trying to pull myself up to my feet. But it was like trying to walk on a heaving, sinking ship. Parts of the floor collapsed down into a seemingly never-ending abyss beneath us.
Near the stage, I saw hundreds of long, pale arms pulling something bloated and monstrous out of the ground. It was a Titan, and no explanation can ever convey the true horror of that thing.
It looked like countless human corpses had been melted together, fused into a ball with sagging, boneless chests, deformed faces and millions of writhing maggots. It groaned and gurgled with many lungs, exhaling a rotting, sulfurous breeze that made me want to retch. A soft susurration of many pained, muttering voices continuously emanated from the Titan.
“Emma, run!” I screamed, but she was already sprinting back towards the front door of the church. I backpedaled, afraid to look away from the creeping monstrosity, the juggernaut of rotting flesh moving towards us.
I heard the Titan closing the distance as I sprinted through the front door. The abominations with the silver eyes still slunk around the gate, blocking the car. I raised the rifle, firing blindly at the creatures, careful not to hit the little girl.
“Go to the car!” I screamed at Emma, feeling around for the keys. As the abominations saw the Titan, those still alive scattered, moving in a blur back into the shadows and homes of this rotten place.
The Titan broke the front wall of the church, sending splinters of red stone flying in every direction like bullets. It groaned and gurgled faster, its sickly cries more insistent. I ran to the Mercedes, starting it up and pressing the accelerator to the floor. I pulled a U-turn, heading back to the border of the anomaly.
***
The engine roared, the car bucking like a wild stallion as it pressed me and Emma back into our seats. But the creeping Titan continued gaining speed behind us, and for a few seconds, I feared we would be crushed to death under its massive weight.
The anomaly shimmered ahead of us. I crashed through it at two hundred miles an hour, skidding wildly as the Mercedes hit the dirt road. I nearly flew into a tree. I managed to right it at the last second, pulling onto the paved street as the Titan broke through behind us.
It followed us out. It’s in the real world now.
2024.06.08 20:47 CIAHerpes I was a member of the Church of the Final Rapture. Our leader wishes to bring about the Apocalypse.
“Before I met the Savior, I was a worthless piece of garbage, barely a human being,” Lovebug droned at the front of the enormous room. Lovebug was a monster of a man, two-hundred and fifty pounds of hard tattooed muscle. Like myself, he was a high-ranking member of the Church.
His flat gray eyes scanned the room with a fanatical gleam. I sat in the first row, watching and waiting. Followers of the Savior would tell their stories, how the Savior had reached down and lifted them out of sin and filth to bring them up to the divine. The bright fluorescent lights overhead droned on with a low hum. Thousands of men crammed together in seats or stood at the back of the room.
The Savior taught only two commandments: to murder is holy, and to die for the Savior is the highest bliss. An army of warriors followed the Savior, knights on a holy crusade, priests who wouldn’t hesitate to burn the foul bodies of any witches or demons we encountered. I thought of myself as a knight for the holy king, our Savior, the mouthpiece of the eternal.
“Now, it is like the hand of God has reached into my heart and loosened all the knots there, the knots of anxiety and fear and uncertainty.” He raised his black, military-style rifle into the air for emphasis. “I never realized the true nature of reality before- the fact that we are living in a simulation where the final battle of good versus evil is playing out before our very eyes. And I will be on the side of the good, until my dying breath. I will be on the side of the Savior and of God!”
The crowd roared and clapped. Men got to their feet, sweating heavily in the boiling hot conference room. I felt the surge of energy pass through me like a tidal wave, the pure confidence and iron will of truth. Lovebug lumbered down off the stage as the Savior came out from behind the red curtains, walking with the straight spine of a soldier. He wore a silky black robe that fluttered softly around him, the hood pulled back.
The Savior had horrific burns running the length of his body. His arms had melted folds of keloid scars visible all the way to the tips of his fingers. His scalp had also melted, and the Savior had no hair except for his eyelashes and eyebrows. But the fire that had nearly killed him had spared his face, an aristocratic visage with ferocious green eyes like those of a cat. That face seemed like it had been sculpted out of marble by DaVinci himself, the high cheekbones jutting out over a chin so sharp that it looked like it could have hammered nails into boards. He stared out at the crowd for a long moment, his gaze unblinking.
“The final battle has begun,” he said in a low voice, no more than a whisper. Yet, in the deathly silence of the hall, his words rang out loud and clear. “Those in charge of this illusory world know that we see them. We see them very well, how they hide behind the curtain. They control the world economy, the justice system. Every government, whether they call themselves communist, authoritarian or democratic, is no more than a puppet in their dancing fingers.
“When anyone tries to stand up and lead the masses of suffering people towards freedom from slavery, they are vilified by the mainstream media, brought up on false charges or killed, their bodies staged to look like a suicide. Look what they did to Jesus, and for what? For telling people to love God more than their rulers? And those who speak out today are also crucified, murdered in prisons or killed by their governments. Truth is the most precious commodity, after all. It is one that can only be purchased with blood.
“So what can we do? How can we fight against such evil?” There was a quiet muttering among the pale, frozen faces that stared up at the stage with adoration and love.
“We can fight it by using their own weapons against them!” the Savior said, his voice rising in speed and pitch. He raised his fisted hands to his chest, accentuating each syllable with a back and forth stab of his hands. “Fight fire with fire, and pay back blood with blood! The only thing these global terrorists understand is greater levels of force. We must show them death on a scale they have never before imagined.” I felt nervous as the Savior delivered his message. I saw other men shuffle anxiously in the crowded auditorium, most of them having high-caliber rifles slung around their shoulders.
I felt the rising violence and bloodlust in the air like electricity before a lightning storm. At that moment, I knew we would all have to fight before too long.
***
The Savior called me and Lovebug back to his office after the speech had ended, sending his squirrely assistant over to deliver the hand-written note in the Savior’s blocky, copperplate handwriting. For a long moment, I simply watched the crowd filtering out of the doors, heading back towards the complex where all the holy soldiers of the Savior lived. Feeling dissociated and light-headed, I followed behind the massive muscular form of Lovebug, the heavy weight of the M16 bouncing against my chest. We pushed through the blood-red velvet curtains, winding our way past stage equipment and down a hallway of pure marble.
Mystical paintings similar to those of Alex Grey covered both walls, showing the inside workings of the human body through art. It was as if the painter had X-ray vision and could see the heart chakra and the countless thin vessels that spiderwebbed up to the crown. But, unlike Alex Grey’s hopeful depictions of mysticism, these showed men and women being burned alive, crucified, decapitated or strangled. Dark colors composed the paintings: the dark blue of a suffocating face, the clotted red of an infected stab wound, the black of death. They captured the essence of struggle perfectly.
The Savior’s office had a thick mahogany door with silver engravings of leaves and vines running the length of it. At the top stood a single staring eye with twelve wavy tentacles emerging from the perimeter of it- the symbol of God, who the Savior had seen personally. God would sometimes speak through the mouth of the Savior, always during times of great tribulation or suffering. Lovebug knocked at the door. The Savior’s deep voice echoed out faintly.
“Come in.”
We entered slowly, the sprawling desk of the Savior filling half of the room. He sat in a comfortable chair behind it, reclining. On the walls behind him, he had pictures of Jesus, Saint Stephen, Gandhi, Hitler, Jim Jones, Shoko Asahara and others who he taught had fought against the world elites and been killed for it.
The Church of the Final Rapture was not a church in the conventional sense. The main teachings didn’t revolve around the divinity of Christ or the nature of original sin. What the Savior taught was far more profound- an illusory or simulated world where every single person could become their own Christ, could awaken to the truth and perform miracles, but only if they believed fully and followed the Savior.
“Sit down, please,” he said in his gravelly voice. “I have a mission I would like to discuss, and you two are the only ones competent and loyal enough to carry it out.”
***
“There is another anomaly spreading,” the Savior said, staring between me and Lovebug with his fanatical emerald eyes. “It is located in a rural part of the United States, in a town called-” he glanced down at the sheet of paper in front of him- “Frost Hollow. Supposedly, there are black-ops sites located nearby, secret alphabet agencies experimenting with magnetic distortion systems and creating rips in the fabric of spacetime with micro-wormholes.
“I don’t think it is much of a leap to say that the anomaly was likely started, either intentionally or unintentionally, by the government, as part of their research. The Cleaners would like to control that power, after all. They have been sending their men after it for years like sheep to the slaughter, expending billions of dollars researching it. If they and the US government end up being able to control the creation and spread of anomalies, they will use it to enslave the world. There is no question about it in my mind.” He leaned forwards towards us, his eyes growing cold.
“There is only one path forward I can see. We need to spread the anomaly, make it become unstable so the demons of Hell contained within it can spill out onto the real world. Perhaps it will awaken the downtrodden masses enough to begin the final revolution. We must fight terrorism with greater terrorism, and violence with greater levels of violence. For this mission, I am sending the two of you into Frost Hollow.
“Your job will be to find the Titan or Titans and lead them out to the border of the anomaly. These are horrendous beasts- indeed, the Church has seen them before. They are nearly impossible to kill. I want you two to go inside, bait it and have it follow you back to the edge, beyond the veil.”
“What’s a Titan?” Lovebug asked, his eyes flicking left and right nervously. The Savior stared at him stonily for a long moment. Then his eyes rolled back in his head, showing only the whites. All the blood seemed to drain from his face. His teeth chattered, his mouth opened, and through it, God spoke, the words pouring out like crashing stones. The voice did not sound anything like the Savior’s. It sounded much deeper, more mechanical, more alien somehow.
“I see you very well. I saw you when you were no more than a blood clot in your mother’s body. I see you even as corpses, rotted, putrefying, crawling with scavengers and insects. I see everything, every moment of time. But, in the anomaly, there are things I cannot see. For this, my holy ones must go forth.
“In the center of Hell, you will find a rose, a bird and a stone. These will be your salvation, if salvation can be found at all. Go with the blessing of Yaldabaoth.” The voice cut off abruptly, the silence deafening. I could hear my own heart pounding in my ears.
The Savior’s eyes came back down, looking confused and uncertain. His pupils were dilated and he was sweating heavily, even though it was cool and air-conditioned back here in his private office. We stared at each other across the table, a no-man’s land that protected me like a shield. For there seemed to be something dark in the Savior along with the light, and I didn’t know if any man could contain that power.
But there was no question of disobeying. Within the hour, Lovebug and I were on one of the Church’s private jets flying to the town of Frost Hollow.
***
The gently rolling hills of Frost Hollow loomed below us as the plane circled the small dirt airstrip in the middle of some cow farms. I looked up at Lovebug, trying to judge his stony expression. He had done many years in prison before joining the Church and finding salvation, even being the leader of one of the gangs. I knew he wasn’t afraid of violence. He had never told me what he did, what tortured him so much.
The Savior had told us much secret knowledge- how to find a Titan, a massive, bloated abomination that could come into being only within an anomaly, a combination of many rotted body pieces fused together in some sort of hellish black magic. The Savior had spies around Frost Hollow and the surrounding towns who had been monitoring the anomaly, watching the unstable gateways leading in and out and mapping them as best they could. We would be given a fast car, plenty of weapons and some body armor. I had no idea how nightmarish the journey would become, however.
“I’m driving,” Lovebug said as we descended the steps. A man in a black suit with the symbol of the eye and tentacles pinned on his black button-up shirt pulled up with a Mercedes AMG-One. It was a sleek, silver thing of immense luxury and power. The craftsmanship made it look like a work of art. I sighed, keeping my finger nervously on the trigger of my rifle as I glanced around the strange, empty town.
“If this thing won’t outrun a Titan, then nothing will,” I said, trying to break the tension. I looked at the speedometer, seeing it went up to 220 miles an hour.
“Damn fucking right,” Lovebug growled as we slid into the futuristic-looking leather seats. The engine turned on like a softly purring kitten. The GPS automatically turned on as well, the soft robotic voice leading us toward one of the more stable portals to the anomaly.
Lovebug sped down the empty forest roads of Frost Hollow, going twice the legal speed limit the entire way.
“The speed limit is only for the lowest common denominator,” Lovebug said pedantically, waggling a tattooed finger for emphasis. The GPS said we would reach the gateway to the anomaly in five minutes. Based on Lovebug’s speed, I thought it would be more like two. “Someone who actually knows how to drive and isn’t drunk or high can easily do 80 in a 40. Easily.” I glanced nervously at the speedometer, realizing he was going over 100 miles an hour now. The sports car hugged the tight corners of the winding forest roads with absolute precision.
“Turn right onto Snake Island Road Extension in five hundred feet,” the robotic female voice. Lovebug slammed on the brakes a few seconds later, the tires skidding and locking up. We looked around frantically, seeing no streets anywhere except the one we were on.
“What the hell?” Lovebug asked. The night was crawling in by now, the darkness covering the forests like a curtain. I squinted, looking at the thick grove of trees on our right, scanning it back and forth over and over. After a few seconds, I realized there was an overgrown dirt path there with no sign. It was nearly impossible to see at night, however, and calling it a road was somewhat of a joke.
“Oh, damn,” I said. “They should’ve given us an SUV.”
***
According to the GPS, our destination was only a thousand feet down Snake Island Road Extension. The low clearance of the Mercedes was a problem as Lovebug tried to navigate the flooded forest path. Deep tread marks flooded with black, stagnant water marked the entirety of Snake Island Road Extension. But ahead, the headlights illuminated something unusual.
Cutting straight across the trees and brush like a razorblade was a shimmering wall of translucent energy. It reminded me of a mirage, curving upwards in wavy spiral patterns. I could see through it easily, but it gave everything a dark, sinister covering. The forest seemed to be in constant motion as the grayish light distorted it.
“Look how huge it is!” I said in awe, staring up at the starry sky. The flat wall rose up seemingly forever, disappearing in the cold void of infinite space. Lovebug slowly ambled the car towards the anomaly, trying to keep the Mercedes from getting stuck with its low clearance.
“You ready for this, man?” Lovebug asked in a quavering voice as we inched towards the anomaly. It was only seconds away now. He grabbed my shoulder. “This is it. Remember the commandments.” I closed my eyes, concentrating my heart on the Savior’s words. Dying for the good is the highest bliss, he had told us.
“Let’s do this,” I said, my eyes flying open from my silent prayer as the hood passed through the anomaly. It disappeared in front of our eyes. We could see the forest on the other side, but the Mercedes looked like it was going through some sort of teleportation portal, being ripped apart layer by layer and sent somewhere else. Lovebug nervously grabbed my hand.
“For the Savior and for the Good,” he whispered as we passed through.
***
I heard screaming and wailing, full of agony and unimaginable horror, like the screams of those burning in Hell. My vision went white. A carpet of morphing dark colors covered everything as the shrieking intensified, until I thought my eardrums would explode.
“Stop!” I cried, feeling the pressure in my head like a splitting migraine. “Stop screaming!” I started kicking, punching, trying to get away.
“Calm the fuck down!” someone whispered, slapping me hard across the face. Stunned, I looked up, seeing Lovebug holding me down in the seat. He was covered in sweat, his face a blank mask of terror. “Don’t scream. There’s things outside that are looking this way.” I blinked fast, my senses coming back to me. I felt like a man waking up from surgery, confused and disoriented, my memories only returning in small trickles and drops.
We were sitting in the Mercedes on a road that looked like it had been made of human skin. The headlights showed the ragged patches of pale, leathery flesh sewn together with black thread. The road disappeared ahead of us in a straight line. The land here looked as flat as Kansas. Like a mirror world, it had houses and restaurants and churches lining both sides of the road, but they were all wrong.
The stone church looked like it was constructed of some kind of red volcanic rock. Baphomets and upside-down pentagrams covered the outer walls, engraved deeply into the glossy surface. Mutilated bodies covered the front lawn, impaled, crucified, skinned alive or burned at the stake. Hundreds of men, women and children lay dead in front of the Satanic temple.
Overhead, the sky bubbled and frothed with red clouds and constant explosions of blue lightning. Like missile flashes, the lightning illuminated the world around us, shining brightly before going dark. The incessant strobing gave the entire place a kind of circus freakshow vibe.
Many of the homes looked like they had been constructed from bones and covered in human skin, like some sort of hellish teepee. Arm and leg bones wrapped in razor-wire formed the pillars. Grinning skulls lined the top of the flat, rectangular roofs, thousands of bleached human heads staring down.
Staring out of the dark doorways, I saw gleaming, silvery eyes. They loomed eight or nine feet in the air on spidery bodies. Their limbs looked as thin as bones, jet-black and dull. The only color from these still revenants was from their unblinking eyes and grinning mouths, where teeth like those of a dragonfish jutted out. Every pair of eyes on that street was fixed intently on the Mercedes, the sick rictus grins on their alien faces never faltering.
“Jesus Christ, I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling weak. “I thought I was in a nightmare for a minute there.” Lovebug shrugged his massive shoulders.
“Yeah, I felt it too, though I came out of it a lot faster than you did,” he said, glancing over at the Satanic church as we passed. It had protective black spikes rising high into the air all around it. The broken body of a child who had been burnt at the stake stood in front of the gates like a death omen, his small, withered hand holding a black rose. Lovebug choked, retching. He nearly rolled down the window, until his eyes met the silvery ones of a nearby abomination.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking closer at the church. On top of the roof, I saw an enormous statue of a black raven, its wings spread as if it were flying. It had three gleaming, silvery eyes embedded into the dark rock.
“That boy just reminds me of my son,” Lovebug whispered glumly, inching along the streets.
“I didn’t know you had a son,” I said, surprised. Lovebug had never mentioned a family. He shrugged.
“I don’t. Not anymore. I killed him. I got drunk and high one night back when I was selling drugs. Fell asleep in the living room with a lit cigarette and burned down the whole house. I killed my wife and son, burned them. They sent me to prison, but what did that matter? The prison up here is far worse.” He tapped the side of his temple.
I was about to say something, but at that moment, many things happened at once.
***
Lovebug was staring at the corpse of the child when an inhumanly long arm reached up from the side of the car. It had fingers like spikes, as sharp as a knife and twice as long as normal human fingers. I gasped, a warning shout welling up in my throat, but the hand came smashing down into the driver’s side window and grabbed Lovebug’s neck.
The window exploded in a shower of safety glass, shattering like brittle bones. Lovebug’s scream was cut off as he was dragged, kicking and screaming, out of the car. I swung open my door, leaping out and bringing my rifle around.
The Cheshire Cat grin of the abomination never faltered as it held Lovebug in front of its body like a human shield, holding him by the neck above the ground. Lovebug’s legs kicked and squirmed, his face turning blue as he slowly suffocated. His eyes bulged from their sockets, panicked and rolling, uncomprehending in their total animal panic.
I flicked on the laser sight. It danced over the ground, flashing over the body of Lovebug and the abomination. But I couldn’t aim for its torso or face, as I would probably hit Lovebug in the process. It was far too close.
I aimed for the monster’s thin, skeletal feet, the black toes twisting over each other like the roots of a tree. The gunshots rang out as a deafening counterpoint to the thunder blasts.
The monster gave a hissing gurgle as two bullets caught it in the right ankle. The creature seemed bloodless, and only dust and ashes rolled out of the exploded insectile flesh. It tried to skitter away, but its destroyed ankle caused it to fall forward, throwing Lovebug.
His body rolled across the road, the soft leather that looked like it was made from tens of thousands of human skins. Gasping, his lips still showing a faint blue cast, he struggled to crawl away.
I saw furtive movement from all around us. The creatures in the houses and doorways were moving forwards, drawn by the bloodshed or noise. Hundreds of glowing, silvery eyes surrounded us. I sprinted forward, dragging Lovebug to his feet.
“The church,” I hissed. “It’s the only place.” Still pulling the weak, confused Lovebug behind me, we staggered towards the black gates. They opened with a shriek of rusted metal.
***
The creatures stopped at the gates to the blood-red church, simply staring at us like statues. They didn’t even seem to breathe, their lidless eyes never blinking, the silvery glow never fading.
“I think this is the place we’re meant to go,” I whispered as we made our way towards the massive pointed doors. “When God spoke to us, he said something about a stone, a bird and a rose, that we would find the Titan through that.” I pointed back at the burnt body of the boy. “He’s holding a rose. On top of the building, there’s a bird. And the church is all stone. Maybe this is the place where God wanted us to go all along.”
“Maybe,” Lovebug muttered through heaving gasps, still grabbing at his bruised neck. “God, this hurts. It feels like I got hanged.” Side by side, we pushed open the doors to the Satanic church and walked inside.
***
Row after row of pews stretched out in front of us. Thousands of black candles were set up all around the perimeter of the enormous chamber. They sputtered and flickered constantly, throwing dancing shadows in every direction.
A small pair of bright eyes glanced up at us from under one of the nearby pews. I nearly jumped out of my skin, pointing the rifle at them and yelling.
“Show yourself! Come out now, or I shoot!” Lovebug looked at me, confused. He hadn’t seen it. But a few heartbeats later, a little girl crawled out, her eyes big and blue, her body an emaciated wreck. She wore ripped strands of what looked like leathery human skin to cover herself, tied together with black string. In one small, grime-streaked hand, she held a half-eaten raw mouse.
“Please, don’t kill me,” she said in a small voice. “I’m Emma. My mommy and daddy got dragged away and I’m scared.” I felt sick and weak looking at this small victim. I reached down and helped her up.
“I wouldn’t hurt you,” I said, kneeling down to her level. “I thought you were one of the bad guys. This is Lovebug, and I’m Jack.”
“This isn’t part of the mission, man,” Lovebug said nervously. “What are we supposed to do with her?”
“Well, we can’t just fucking leave her here,” I whispered back. “We need…” But I never got to finish that thought. Because, at that moment, the church woke up.
***
A red glow started at the front of the chamber, the altar where the priest would have stood and given speeches or holy communion. Here, they had a podium that looked like it was carved from a single block of obsidian. Reflected in it, I saw the screaming faces of people burning in Hell, grinning demons ripping off strips of human flesh and spiraling waves of flames, all sculpted by an artist who was able to capture the most miniscule details of agony and torture.
I looked around, realizing Emma had gone. I hadn’t seen her scurry away and hide, but her absence gave me a feeling of crushing dread in my chest.
“Lovebug, something’s wrong,” I whispered, still staring up at the altar. I heard a floorboard creak behind me. I glanced back just in time to see a man wearing full SWAT gear. I caught the flash of a pistol coming down, the butt aimed at my forehead. I heard the cracking, felt the immense pressure and pain. For a few moments, I swam in the currents of consciousness, trying to stay awake, but then the blackness crept in and stole me away.
***
I awoke suddenly, my hands tied so tightly behind my back that I couldn’t feel my fingers. I felt sick and wanted to throw up. I quickly choked those feelings back down. I tried to shake my head, to clear it, but that just brought jolts of pain like electricity shooting through my skull. Nearby, I heard a gunshot, then another.
“Bring it, fuckers!” Lovebug screamed in an insane voice. The explosion of a grenade rocked the building, and I smelled choking black smoke. I opened my eyes, seeing three men in SWAT gear laying dead, their bodies scattered haphazardly around the chaotic scene. One wall of the church had blown outwards, the stone still sending out gray wisps of wavy smoke into the air. I looked at my partner, seeing he had a bullet hole in his left arm and another one in his stomach. He was bleeding heavily, but the adrenaline and insanity seemed to keep him afloat- for now, at least.
I saw something walking towards us from the stage. It looked like a small boy, but black shadows spiraled up around his chest and face, translucent and shimmering darkly. He looked about five or six, his skin pale and smooth. As Lovebug’s face grew slack and distant, the boy abruptly erupted into flames.
“Don’t kill me again, Dad,” the small boy whispered in a hoarse voice choked with pain. The flames rose from his head and skin, melting his flesh, blackening it. Drops of boiling fat dribbled off his nose and chin. “Don’t send me to the dark place again, Dad…” He continued creeping closer to Lovebug, moving like a lion stalking an antelope.
“I didn’t know!” Lovebug cried, his face going paler. Tears streamed from his eyes as the rifle trembled wildly in his shaking hands. For a long moment, he looked torn, the finger tightening on the trigger as sobs escaped his chattering lips.
“Kill it, Lovebug!” I screamed. “Don’t let it get to you!” But as he dropped the rifle and knelt before the small boy, I knew it was too late.
The shadows spun faster and faster around the burning, dying body of the boy. He gave a scream of soul-shattering agony, reaching out to a small hand towards Lovebug.
“Help me!” the boy cried. Lovebug hesitated before bringing an arm up to take the boy’s hand.
“I missed you, Robbie,” Lovebug said before his fingers brushed the boys. The boy lunged forward, grabbing Lovebug’s hand with an iron grip. I saw Lovebug’s eyes widen in shock and surprise. A moment later, I heard the bones in his hand grinding together before breaking with a sound like snapping tree branches. The boy’s eyes darkened into jet-black orbs, the melted lips splitting into a sadistic grin.
“I missed you, too,” the thing hissed as its right arm changed, melting and reforming into something black and blade-like. The insectile limb swung forward in a blur, coming straight at Lovebug’s heart. He gave a panicked squeal a moment before it hit, trying to pull away with all of his considerable strength, his face turning chalk-white as the shattered bones in his hands ground together.
I closed my eyes, rolling away, trying to undo the knots that held my hands in place. Lovebug must have been greatly outnumbered. He would never have let that man tie me up. I heard the sounds of tearing meat and crunching bone nearby. Lovebug’s final breaths gurgled through the air, but I still kept my eyes closed, not wanting to look.
I felt a small tickle on my wrists, then heard a little voice next to my ear.
“I’ll get you out of here,” Emma whispered. I waited a few moments, then I heard the ropes snap. I looked back, seeing her holding a piece of sharp, broken glass in one tiny hand. In her other, she had the car keys. I wondered how she had gotten them, the little pickpocket.
“Thank God,” I said, rubbing my wrists. I looked around for my rifle, seeing it was laying next to the body of one of the SWAT guys. I wondered who these men were. I crawled towards it slowly, not wanting to draw attention.
“Don’t move another step,” a voice growled behind me. I glanced back, seeing the small boy, his features morphing into those of a demon. Curving horns spiraled from his temples. His jet-black eyes stared down at me with hatred and coldness. “You’ll follow your friend who killed my servants. His soul will stay alive forever within my body, a sickly thing wrapped up in an eternal shriek.”
“Fuck you,” I cried, lunging for my rifle. Emma disappeared behind a pew, running on all fours without looking back. I spun as I hit the ground, turning the barrel towards the morphing face of the shape-shifter. Its jaw unhinged, a snake-like tongue flicking out as it flew through the air towards me. Hollow fangs dripping clear venom grew from its mouth in a heartbeat, elongating and sharpening before my very eyes.
I fired twice, the bullets entering through its mouth and coming out the back of its head. Its flesh disintegrated in an instant, the body turning into light, gray ashes that disappeared in the breeze. Breathing hard, I waited, wondering if it was all over.
I heard a rumbling far below me, as if an earthquake were starting. A moment later, the church floor exploded upwards, sharp rubble and splintered boards flying in every direction.
***
“It’s coming!” Emma screamed, running over and grabbing my hand. I lay there, shell-shocked and unmoving for a long moment. In hindsight, the girl was a natural born survivor with much sharper reflexes than me. It was likely the only reason she survived as long as she had.
“The Titan,” I whispered grimly, trying to pull myself up to my feet. But it was like trying to walk on a heaving, sinking ship. Parts of the floor collapsed down into a seemingly never-ending abyss beneath us.
Near the stage, I saw hundreds of long, pale arms pulling something bloated and monstrous out of the ground. It was a Titan, and no explanation can ever convey the true horror of that thing.
It looked like countless human corpses had been melted together, fused into a ball with sagging, boneless chests, deformed faces and millions of writhing maggots. It groaned and gurgled with many lungs, exhaling a rotting, sulfurous breeze that made me want to retch. A soft susurration of many pained, muttering voices continuously emanated from the Titan.
“Emma, run!” I screamed, but she was already sprinting back towards the front door of the church. I backpedaled, afraid to look away from the creeping monstrosity, the juggernaut of rotting flesh moving towards us.
I heard the Titan closing the distance as I sprinted through the front door. The abominations with the silver eyes still slunk around the gate, blocking the car. I raised the rifle, firing blindly at the creatures, careful not to hit the little girl.
“Go to the car!” I screamed at Emma, feeling around for the keys. As the abominations saw the Titan, those still alive scattered, moving in a blur back into the shadows and homes of this rotten place.
The Titan broke the front wall of the church, sending splinters of red stone flying in every direction like bullets. It groaned and gurgled faster, its sickly cries more insistent. I ran to the Mercedes, starting it up and pressing the accelerator to the floor. I pulled a U-turn, heading back to the border of the anomaly.
***
The engine roared, the car bucking like a wild stallion as it pressed me and Emma back into our seats. But the creeping Titan continued gaining speed behind us, and for a few seconds, I feared we would be crushed to death under its massive weight.
The anomaly shimmered ahead of us. I crashed through it at two hundred miles an hour, skidding wildly as the Mercedes hit the dirt road. I nearly flew into a tree. I managed to right it at the last second, pulling onto the paved street as the Titan broke through behind us.
It followed us out. It’s in the real world now.
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His flat gray eyes scanned the room with a fanatical gleam. I sat in the first row, watching and waiting. Followers of the Savior would tell their stories, how the Savior had reached down and lifted them out of sin and filth to bring them up to the divine. The bright fluorescent lights overhead droned on with a low hum. Thousands of men crammed together in seats or stood at the back of the room.
The Savior taught only two commandments: to murder is holy, and to die for the Savior is the highest bliss. An army of warriors followed the Savior, knights on a holy crusade, priests who wouldn’t hesitate to burn the foul bodies of any witches or demons we encountered. I thought of myself as a knight for the holy king, our Savior, the mouthpiece of the eternal.
“Now, it is like the hand of God has reached into my heart and loosened all the knots there, the knots of anxiety and fear and uncertainty.” He raised his black, military-style rifle into the air for emphasis. “I never realized the true nature of reality before- the fact that we are living in a simulation where the final battle of good versus evil is playing out before our very eyes. And I will be on the side of the good, until my dying breath. I will be on the side of the Savior and of God!”
The crowd roared and clapped. Men got to their feet, sweating heavily in the boiling hot conference room. I felt the surge of energy pass through me like a tidal wave, the pure confidence and iron will of truth. Lovebug lumbered down off the stage as the Savior came out from behind the red curtains, walking with the straight spine of a soldier. He wore a silky black robe that fluttered softly around him, the hood pulled back.
The Savior had horrific burns running the length of his body. His arms had melted folds of keloid scars visible all the way to the tips of his fingers. His scalp had also melted, and the Savior had no hair except for his eyelashes and eyebrows. But the fire that had nearly killed him had spared his face, an aristocratic visage with ferocious green eyes like those of a cat. That face seemed like it had been sculpted out of marble by DaVinci himself, the high cheekbones jutting out over a chin so sharp that it looked like it could have hammered nails into boards. He stared out at the crowd for a long moment, his gaze unblinking.
“The final battle has begun,” he said in a low voice, no more than a whisper. Yet, in the deathly silence of the hall, his words rang out loud and clear. “Those in charge of this illusory world know that we see them. We see them very well, how they hide behind the curtain. They control the world economy, the justice system. Every government, whether they call themselves communist, authoritarian or democratic, is no more than a puppet in their dancing fingers.
“When anyone tries to stand up and lead the masses of suffering people towards freedom from slavery, they are vilified by the mainstream media, brought up on false charges or killed, their bodies staged to look like a suicide. Look what they did to Jesus, and for what? For telling people to love God more than their rulers? And those who speak out today are also crucified, murdered in prisons or killed by their governments. Truth is the most precious commodity, after all. It is one that can only be purchased with blood.
“So what can we do? How can we fight against such evil?” There was a quiet muttering among the pale, frozen faces that stared up at the stage with adoration and love.
“We can fight it by using their own weapons against them!” the Savior said, his voice rising in speed and pitch. He raised his fisted hands to his chest, accentuating each syllable with a back and forth stab of his hands. “Fight fire with fire, and pay back blood with blood! The only thing these global terrorists understand is greater levels of force. We must show them death on a scale they have never before imagined.” I felt nervous as the Savior delivered his message. I saw other men shuffle anxiously in the crowded auditorium, most of them having high-caliber rifles slung around their shoulders.
I felt the rising violence and bloodlust in the air like electricity before a lightning storm. At that moment, I knew we would all have to fight before too long.
***
The Savior called me and Lovebug back to his office after the speech had ended, sending his squirrely assistant over to deliver the hand-written note in the Savior’s blocky, copperplate handwriting. For a long moment, I simply watched the crowd filtering out of the doors, heading back towards the complex where all the holy soldiers of the Savior lived. Feeling dissociated and light-headed, I followed behind the massive muscular form of Lovebug, the heavy weight of the M16 bouncing against my chest. We pushed through the blood-red velvet curtains, winding our way past stage equipment and down a hallway of pure marble.
Mystical paintings similar to those of Alex Grey covered both walls, showing the inside workings of the human body through art. It was as if the painter had X-ray vision and could see the heart chakra and the countless thin vessels that spiderwebbed up to the crown. But, unlike Alex Grey’s hopeful depictions of mysticism, these showed men and women being burned alive, crucified, decapitated or strangled. Dark colors composed the paintings: the dark blue of a suffocating face, the clotted red of an infected stab wound, the black of death. They captured the essence of struggle perfectly.
The Savior’s office had a thick mahogany door with silver engravings of leaves and vines running the length of it. At the top stood a single staring eye with twelve wavy tentacles emerging from the perimeter of it- the symbol of God, who the Savior had seen personally. God would sometimes speak through the mouth of the Savior, always during times of great tribulation or suffering. Lovebug knocked at the door. The Savior’s deep voice echoed out faintly.
“Come in.”
We entered slowly, the sprawling desk of the Savior filling half of the room. He sat in a comfortable chair behind it, reclining. On the walls behind him, he had pictures of Jesus, Saint Stephen, Gandhi, Hitler, Jim Jones, Shoko Asahara and others who he taught had fought against the world elites and been killed for it.
The Church of the Final Rapture was not a church in the conventional sense. The main teachings didn’t revolve around the divinity of Christ or the nature of original sin. What the Savior taught was far more profound- an illusory or simulated world where every single person could become their own Christ, could awaken to the truth and perform miracles, but only if they believed fully and followed the Savior.
“Sit down, please,” he said in his gravelly voice. “I have a mission I would like to discuss, and you two are the only ones competent and loyal enough to carry it out.”
***
“There is another anomaly spreading,” the Savior said, staring between me and Lovebug with his fanatical emerald eyes. “It is located in a rural part of the United States, in a town called-” he glanced down at the sheet of paper in front of him- “Frost Hollow. Supposedly, there are black-ops sites located nearby, secret alphabet agencies experimenting with magnetic distortion systems and creating rips in the fabric of spacetime with micro-wormholes.
“I don’t think it is much of a leap to say that the anomaly was likely started, either intentionally or unintentionally, by the government, as part of their research. The Cleaners would like to control that power, after all. They have been sending their men after it for years like sheep to the slaughter, expending billions of dollars researching it. If they and the US government end up being able to control the creation and spread of anomalies, they will use it to enslave the world. There is no question about it in my mind.” He leaned forwards towards us, his eyes growing cold.
“There is only one path forward I can see. We need to spread the anomaly, make it become unstable so the demons of Hell contained within it can spill out onto the real world. Perhaps it will awaken the downtrodden masses enough to begin the final revolution. We must fight terrorism with greater terrorism, and violence with greater levels of violence. For this mission, I am sending the two of you into Frost Hollow.
“Your job will be to find the Titan or Titans and lead them out to the border of the anomaly. These are horrendous beasts- indeed, the Church has seen them before. They are nearly impossible to kill. I want you two to go inside, bait it and have it follow you back to the edge, beyond the veil.”
“What’s a Titan?” Lovebug asked, his eyes flicking left and right nervously. The Savior stared at him stonily for a long moment. Then his eyes rolled back in his head, showing only the whites. All the blood seemed to drain from his face. His teeth chattered, his mouth opened, and through it, God spoke, the words pouring out like crashing stones. The voice did not sound anything like the Savior’s. It sounded much deeper, more mechanical, more alien somehow.
“I see you very well. I saw you when you were no more than a blood clot in your mother’s body. I see you even as corpses, rotted, putrefying, crawling with scavengers and insects. I see everything, every moment of time. But, in the anomaly, there are things I cannot see. For this, my holy ones must go forth.
“In the center of Hell, you will find a rose, a bird and a stone. These will be your salvation, if salvation can be found at all. Go with the blessing of Yaldabaoth.” The voice cut off abruptly, the silence deafening. I could hear my own heart pounding in my ears.
The Savior’s eyes came back down, looking confused and uncertain. His pupils were dilated and he was sweating heavily, even though it was cool and air-conditioned back here in his private office. We stared at each other across the table, a no-man’s land that protected me like a shield. For there seemed to be something dark in the Savior along with the light, and I didn’t know if any man could contain that power.
But there was no question of disobeying. Within the hour, Lovebug and I were on one of the Church’s private jets flying to the town of Frost Hollow.
***
The gently rolling hills of Frost Hollow loomed below us as the plane circled the small dirt airstrip in the middle of some cow farms. I looked up at Lovebug, trying to judge his stony expression. He had done many years in prison before joining the Church and finding salvation, even being the leader of one of the gangs. I knew he wasn’t afraid of violence. He had never told me what he did, what tortured him so much.
The Savior had told us much secret knowledge- how to find a Titan, a massive, bloated abomination that could come into being only within an anomaly, a combination of many rotted body pieces fused together in some sort of hellish black magic. The Savior had spies around Frost Hollow and the surrounding towns who had been monitoring the anomaly, watching the unstable gateways leading in and out and mapping them as best they could. We would be given a fast car, plenty of weapons and some body armor. I had no idea how nightmarish the journey would become, however.
“I’m driving,” Lovebug said as we descended the steps. A man in a black suit with the symbol of the eye and tentacles pinned on his black button-up shirt pulled up with a Mercedes AMG-One. It was a sleek, silver thing of immense luxury and power. The craftsmanship made it look like a work of art. I sighed, keeping my finger nervously on the trigger of my rifle as I glanced around the strange, empty town.
“If this thing won’t outrun a Titan, then nothing will,” I said, trying to break the tension. I looked at the speedometer, seeing it went up to 220 miles an hour.
“Damn fucking right,” Lovebug growled as we slid into the futuristic-looking leather seats. The engine turned on like a softly purring kitten. The GPS automatically turned on as well, the soft robotic voice leading us toward one of the more stable portals to the anomaly.
Lovebug sped down the empty forest roads of Frost Hollow, going twice the legal speed limit the entire way.
“The speed limit is only for the lowest common denominator,” Lovebug said pedantically, waggling a tattooed finger for emphasis. The GPS said we would reach the gateway to the anomaly in five minutes. Based on Lovebug’s speed, I thought it would be more like two. “Someone who actually knows how to drive and isn’t drunk or high can easily do 80 in a 40. Easily.” I glanced nervously at the speedometer, realizing he was going over 100 miles an hour now. The sports car hugged the tight corners of the winding forest roads with absolute precision.
“Turn right onto Snake Island Road Extension in five hundred feet,” the robotic female voice. Lovebug slammed on the brakes a few seconds later, the tires skidding and locking up. We looked around frantically, seeing no streets anywhere except the one we were on.
“What the hell?” Lovebug asked. The night was crawling in by now, the darkness covering the forests like a curtain. I squinted, looking at the thick grove of trees on our right, scanning it back and forth over and over. After a few seconds, I realized there was an overgrown dirt path there with no sign. It was nearly impossible to see at night, however, and calling it a road was somewhat of a joke.
“Oh, damn,” I said. “They should’ve given us an SUV.”
***
According to the GPS, our destination was only a thousand feet down Snake Island Road Extension. The low clearance of the Mercedes was a problem as Lovebug tried to navigate the flooded forest path. Deep tread marks flooded with black, stagnant water marked the entirety of Snake Island Road Extension. But ahead, the headlights illuminated something unusual.
Cutting straight across the trees and brush like a razorblade was a shimmering wall of translucent energy. It reminded me of a mirage, curving upwards in wavy spiral patterns. I could see through it easily, but it gave everything a dark, sinister covering. The forest seemed to be in constant motion as the grayish light distorted it.
“Look how huge it is!” I said in awe, staring up at the starry sky. The flat wall rose up seemingly forever, disappearing in the cold void of infinite space. Lovebug slowly ambled the car towards the anomaly, trying to keep the Mercedes from getting stuck with its low clearance.
“You ready for this, man?” Lovebug asked in a quavering voice as we inched towards the anomaly. It was only seconds away now. He grabbed my shoulder. “This is it. Remember the commandments.” I closed my eyes, concentrating my heart on the Savior’s words. Dying for the good is the highest bliss, he had told us.
“Let’s do this,” I said, my eyes flying open from my silent prayer as the hood passed through the anomaly. It disappeared in front of our eyes. We could see the forest on the other side, but the Mercedes looked like it was going through some sort of teleportation portal, being ripped apart layer by layer and sent somewhere else. Lovebug nervously grabbed my hand.
“For the Savior and for the Good,” he whispered as we passed through.
***
I heard screaming and wailing, full of agony and unimaginable horror, like the screams of those burning in Hell. My vision went white. A carpet of morphing dark colors covered everything as the shrieking intensified, until I thought my eardrums would explode.
“Stop!” I cried, feeling the pressure in my head like a splitting migraine. “Stop screaming!” I started kicking, punching, trying to get away.
“Calm the fuck down!” someone whispered, slapping me hard across the face. Stunned, I looked up, seeing Lovebug holding me down in the seat. He was covered in sweat, his face a blank mask of terror. “Don’t scream. There’s things outside that are looking this way.” I blinked fast, my senses coming back to me. I felt like a man waking up from surgery, confused and disoriented, my memories only returning in small trickles and drops.
We were sitting in the Mercedes on a road that looked like it had been made of human skin. The headlights showed the ragged patches of pale, leathery flesh sewn together with black thread. The road disappeared ahead of us in a straight line. The land here looked as flat as Kansas. Like a mirror world, it had houses and restaurants and churches lining both sides of the road, but they were all wrong.
The stone church looked like it was constructed of some kind of red volcanic rock. Baphomets and upside-down pentagrams covered the outer walls, engraved deeply into the glossy surface. Mutilated bodies covered the front lawn, impaled, crucified, skinned alive or burned at the stake. Hundreds of men, women and children lay dead in front of the Satanic temple.
Overhead, the sky bubbled and frothed with red clouds and constant explosions of blue lightning. Like missile flashes, the lightning illuminated the world around us, shining brightly before going dark. The incessant strobing gave the entire place a kind of circus freakshow vibe.
Many of the homes looked like they had been constructed from bones and covered in human skin, like some sort of hellish teepee. Arm and leg bones wrapped in razor-wire formed the pillars. Grinning skulls lined the top of the flat, rectangular roofs, thousands of bleached human heads staring down.
Staring out of the dark doorways, I saw gleaming, silvery eyes. They loomed eight or nine feet in the air on spidery bodies. Their limbs looked as thin as bones, jet-black and dull. The only color from these still revenants was from their unblinking eyes and grinning mouths, where teeth like those of a dragonfish jutted out. Every pair of eyes on that street was fixed intently on the Mercedes, the sick rictus grins on their alien faces never faltering.
“Jesus Christ, I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling weak. “I thought I was in a nightmare for a minute there.” Lovebug shrugged his massive shoulders.
“Yeah, I felt it too, though I came out of it a lot faster than you did,” he said, glancing over at the Satanic church as we passed. It had protective black spikes rising high into the air all around it. The broken body of a child who had been burnt at the stake stood in front of the gates like a death omen, his small, withered hand holding a black rose. Lovebug choked, retching. He nearly rolled down the window, until his eyes met the silvery ones of a nearby abomination.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking closer at the church. On top of the roof, I saw an enormous statue of a black raven, its wings spread as if it were flying. It had three gleaming, silvery eyes embedded into the dark rock.
“That boy just reminds me of my son,” Lovebug whispered glumly, inching along the streets.
“I didn’t know you had a son,” I said, surprised. Lovebug had never mentioned a family. He shrugged.
“I don’t. Not anymore. I killed him. I got drunk and high one night back when I was selling drugs. Fell asleep in the living room with a lit cigarette and burned down the whole house. I killed my wife and son, burned them. They sent me to prison, but what did that matter? The prison up here is far worse.” He tapped the side of his temple.
I was about to say something, but at that moment, many things happened at once.
***
Lovebug was staring at the corpse of the child when an inhumanly long arm reached up from the side of the car. It had fingers like spikes, as sharp as a knife and twice as long as normal human fingers. I gasped, a warning shout welling up in my throat, but the hand came smashing down into the driver’s side window and grabbed Lovebug’s neck.
The window exploded in a shower of safety glass, shattering like brittle bones. Lovebug’s scream was cut off as he was dragged, kicking and screaming, out of the car. I swung open my door, leaping out and bringing my rifle around.
The Cheshire Cat grin of the abomination never faltered as it held Lovebug in front of its body like a human shield, holding him by the neck above the ground. Lovebug’s legs kicked and squirmed, his face turning blue as he slowly suffocated. His eyes bulged from their sockets, panicked and rolling, uncomprehending in their total animal panic.
I flicked on the laser sight. It danced over the ground, flashing over the body of Lovebug and the abomination. But I couldn’t aim for its torso or face, as I would probably hit Lovebug in the process. It was far too close.
I aimed for the monster’s thin, skeletal feet, the black toes twisting over each other like the roots of a tree. The gunshots rang out as a deafening counterpoint to the thunder blasts.
The monster gave a hissing gurgle as two bullets caught it in the right ankle. The creature seemed bloodless, and only dust and ashes rolled out of the exploded insectile flesh. It tried to skitter away, but its destroyed ankle caused it to fall forward, throwing Lovebug.
His body rolled across the road, the soft leather that looked like it was made from tens of thousands of human skins. Gasping, his lips still showing a faint blue cast, he struggled to crawl away.
I saw furtive movement from all around us. The creatures in the houses and doorways were moving forwards, drawn by the bloodshed or noise. Hundreds of glowing, silvery eyes surrounded us. I sprinted forward, dragging Lovebug to his feet.
“The church,” I hissed. “It’s the only place.” Still pulling the weak, confused Lovebug behind me, we staggered towards the black gates. They opened with a shriek of rusted metal.
***
The creatures stopped at the gates to the blood-red church, simply staring at us like statues. They didn’t even seem to breathe, their lidless eyes never blinking, the silvery glow never fading.
“I think this is the place we’re meant to go,” I whispered as we made our way towards the massive pointed doors. “When God spoke to us, he said something about a stone, a bird and a rose, that we would find the Titan through that.” I pointed back at the burnt body of the boy. “He’s holding a rose. On top of the building, there’s a bird. And the church is all stone. Maybe this is the place where God wanted us to go all along.”
“Maybe,” Lovebug muttered through heaving gasps, still grabbing at his bruised neck. “God, this hurts. It feels like I got hanged.” Side by side, we pushed open the doors to the Satanic church and walked inside.
***
Row after row of pews stretched out in front of us. Thousands of black candles were set up all around the perimeter of the enormous chamber. They sputtered and flickered constantly, throwing dancing shadows in every direction.
A small pair of bright eyes glanced up at us from under one of the nearby pews. I nearly jumped out of my skin, pointing the rifle at them and yelling.
“Show yourself! Come out now, or I shoot!” Lovebug looked at me, confused. He hadn’t seen it. But a few heartbeats later, a little girl crawled out, her eyes big and blue, her body an emaciated wreck. She wore ripped strands of what looked like leathery human skin to cover herself, tied together with black string. In one small, grime-streaked hand, she held a half-eaten raw mouse.
“Please, don’t kill me,” she said in a small voice. “I’m Emma. My mommy and daddy got dragged away and I’m scared.” I felt sick and weak looking at this small victim. I reached down and helped her up.
“I wouldn’t hurt you,” I said, kneeling down to her level. “I thought you were one of the bad guys. This is Lovebug, and I’m Jack.”
“This isn’t part of the mission, man,” Lovebug said nervously. “What are we supposed to do with her?”
“Well, we can’t just fucking leave her here,” I whispered back. “We need…” But I never got to finish that thought. Because, at that moment, the church woke up.
***
A red glow started at the front of the chamber, the altar where the priest would have stood and given speeches or holy communion. Here, they had a podium that looked like it was carved from a single block of obsidian. Reflected in it, I saw the screaming faces of people burning in Hell, grinning demons ripping off strips of human flesh and spiraling waves of flames, all sculpted by an artist who was able to capture the most miniscule details of agony and torture.
I looked around, realizing Emma had gone. I hadn’t seen her scurry away and hide, but her absence gave me a feeling of crushing dread in my chest.
“Lovebug, something’s wrong,” I whispered, still staring up at the altar. I heard a floorboard creak behind me. I glanced back just in time to see a man wearing full SWAT gear. I caught the flash of a pistol coming down, the butt aimed at my forehead. I heard the cracking, felt the immense pressure and pain. For a few moments, I swam in the currents of consciousness, trying to stay awake, but then the blackness crept in and stole me away.
***
I awoke suddenly, my hands tied so tightly behind my back that I couldn’t feel my fingers. I felt sick and wanted to throw up. I quickly choked those feelings back down. I tried to shake my head, to clear it, but that just brought jolts of pain like electricity shooting through my skull. Nearby, I heard a gunshot, then another.
“Bring it, fuckers!” Lovebug screamed in an insane voice. The explosion of a grenade rocked the building, and I smelled choking black smoke. I opened my eyes, seeing three men in SWAT gear laying dead, their bodies scattered haphazardly around the chaotic scene. One wall of the church had blown outwards, the stone still sending out gray wisps of wavy smoke into the air. I looked at my partner, seeing he had a bullet hole in his left arm and another one in his stomach. He was bleeding heavily, but the adrenaline and insanity seemed to keep him afloat- for now, at least.
I saw something walking towards us from the stage. It looked like a small boy, but black shadows spiraled up around his chest and face, translucent and shimmering darkly. He looked about five or six, his skin pale and smooth. As Lovebug’s face grew slack and distant, the boy abruptly erupted into flames.
“Don’t kill me again, Dad,” the small boy whispered in a hoarse voice choked with pain. The flames rose from his head and skin, melting his flesh, blackening it. Drops of boiling fat dribbled off his nose and chin. “Don’t send me to the dark place again, Dad…” He continued creeping closer to Lovebug, moving like a lion stalking an antelope.
“I didn’t know!” Lovebug cried, his face going paler. Tears streamed from his eyes as the rifle trembled wildly in his shaking hands. For a long moment, he looked torn, the finger tightening on the trigger as sobs escaped his chattering lips.
“Kill it, Lovebug!” I screamed. “Don’t let it get to you!” But as he dropped the rifle and knelt before the small boy, I knew it was too late.
The shadows spun faster and faster around the burning, dying body of the boy. He gave a scream of soul-shattering agony, reaching out to a small hand towards Lovebug.
“Help me!” the boy cried. Lovebug hesitated before bringing an arm up to take the boy’s hand.
“I missed you, Robbie,” Lovebug said before his fingers brushed the boys. The boy lunged forward, grabbing Lovebug’s hand with an iron grip. I saw Lovebug’s eyes widen in shock and surprise. A moment later, I heard the bones in his hand grinding together before breaking with a sound like snapping tree branches. The boy’s eyes darkened into jet-black orbs, the melted lips splitting into a sadistic grin.
“I missed you, too,” the thing hissed as its right arm changed, melting and reforming into something black and blade-like. The insectile limb swung forward in a blur, coming straight at Lovebug’s heart. He gave a panicked squeal a moment before it hit, trying to pull away with all of his considerable strength, his face turning chalk-white as the shattered bones in his hands ground together.
I closed my eyes, rolling away, trying to undo the knots that held my hands in place. Lovebug must have been greatly outnumbered. He would never have let that man tie me up. I heard the sounds of tearing meat and crunching bone nearby. Lovebug’s final breaths gurgled through the air, but I still kept my eyes closed, not wanting to look.
I felt a small tickle on my wrists, then heard a little voice next to my ear.
“I’ll get you out of here,” Emma whispered. I waited a few moments, then I heard the ropes snap. I looked back, seeing her holding a piece of sharp, broken glass in one tiny hand. In her other, she had the car keys. I wondered how she had gotten them, the little pickpocket.
“Thank God,” I said, rubbing my wrists. I looked around for my rifle, seeing it was laying next to the body of one of the SWAT guys. I wondered who these men were. I crawled towards it slowly, not wanting to draw attention.
“Don’t move another step,” a voice growled behind me. I glanced back, seeing the small boy, his features morphing into those of a demon. Curving horns spiraled from his temples. His jet-black eyes stared down at me with hatred and coldness. “You’ll follow your friend who killed my servants. His soul will stay alive forever within my body, a sickly thing wrapped up in an eternal shriek.”
“Fuck you,” I cried, lunging for my rifle. Emma disappeared behind a pew, running on all fours without looking back. I spun as I hit the ground, turning the barrel towards the morphing face of the shape-shifter. Its jaw unhinged, a snake-like tongue flicking out as it flew through the air towards me. Hollow fangs dripping clear venom grew from its mouth in a heartbeat, elongating and sharpening before my very eyes.
I fired twice, the bullets entering through its mouth and coming out the back of its head. Its flesh disintegrated in an instant, the body turning into light, gray ashes that disappeared in the breeze. Breathing hard, I waited, wondering if it was all over.
I heard a rumbling far below me, as if an earthquake were starting. A moment later, the church floor exploded upwards, sharp rubble and splintered boards flying in every direction.
***
“It’s coming!” Emma screamed, running over and grabbing my hand. I lay there, shell-shocked and unmoving for a long moment. In hindsight, the girl was a natural born survivor with much sharper reflexes than me. It was likely the only reason she survived as long as she had.
“The Titan,” I whispered grimly, trying to pull myself up to my feet. But it was like trying to walk on a heaving, sinking ship. Parts of the floor collapsed down into a seemingly never-ending abyss beneath us.
Near the stage, I saw hundreds of long, pale arms pulling something bloated and monstrous out of the ground. It was a Titan, and no explanation can ever convey the true horror of that thing.
It looked like countless human corpses had been melted together, fused into a ball with sagging, boneless chests, deformed faces and millions of writhing maggots. It groaned and gurgled with many lungs, exhaling a rotting, sulfurous breeze that made me want to retch. A soft susurration of many pained, muttering voices continuously emanated from the Titan.
“Emma, run!” I screamed, but she was already sprinting back towards the front door of the church. I backpedaled, afraid to look away from the creeping monstrosity, the juggernaut of rotting flesh moving towards us.
I heard the Titan closing the distance as I sprinted through the front door. The abominations with the silver eyes still slunk around the gate, blocking the car. I raised the rifle, firing blindly at the creatures, careful not to hit the little girl.
“Go to the car!” I screamed at Emma, feeling around for the keys. As the abominations saw the Titan, those still alive scattered, moving in a blur back into the shadows and homes of this rotten place.
The Titan broke the front wall of the church, sending splinters of red stone flying in every direction like bullets. It groaned and gurgled faster, its sickly cries more insistent. I ran to the Mercedes, starting it up and pressing the accelerator to the floor. I pulled a U-turn, heading back to the border of the anomaly.
***
The engine roared, the car bucking like a wild stallion as it pressed me and Emma back into our seats. But the creeping Titan continued gaining speed behind us, and for a few seconds, I feared we would be crushed to death under its massive weight.
The anomaly shimmered ahead of us. I crashed through it at two hundred miles an hour, skidding wildly as the Mercedes hit the dirt road. I nearly flew into a tree. I managed to right it at the last second, pulling onto the paved street as the Titan broke through behind us.
It followed us out. It’s in the real world now.
2024.06.08 20:43 Ok_Service_7299 Newly diagnosed 18m
Hi this is going to be long but I’m a pretty strong hypochondriac. Since 2021 I think, I have had syncopes (faints) 3 times, the last one was on the 23rd of may and after returning home I was very distressed and agitated with a bad headache, which was concerning considering my friend caught me and I didn’t hit my head. I spent a week in the hospital and was diagnosed with a chiari type 1 malformation, the doctor said that it showed up in my mri but probably wasn’t the cause of my faints, I’m gonna be seeing a neurosurgeon or specialist or something to get it further inspected and to advise me on whether or not I need the decompression surgery. I’m just looking through this sub and seeing a lot of people describing symptoms of their chiari 1 a lot worse than mine and saying that their symptoms got worse with age, and tend to start strongly in your early 20s which is only a few years away for me. I’ve only ever had the faints, headrushes when I stand up too quick or lean my head down, not all the time only sometimes, and when I was younger I used to get really bad migraines, but never specific to the back of my head and not regularly for the last 5/6 years, I do get headaches but only behind my eyes from excessive exposure to screens. I read online that most people with chiari 1 don’t even know they have it until they get an unrelated mri and can live the rest of their life to a normal length and without many issues, however my stupid self downloaded reddit back and looked into it, I’ve now freaked myself out. I’m an 18 year old male by the way and a few other things I think could be connected are that whenever I’d play soccer in my younger years I would be afraid to head the ball as it would lead to a bad headache later that day and I get headaches from extensive exercise, specifically those that require running. The doctors told me that my faint was probably not related to the chiari and to just drink more water and lay down if I feel a syncope coming on as it’s probably a blood pressure thing.
I’m sorry I know that’s a lot and nobody will probably read it , I’m actually just thinking now that I might not even have enough karma to post it lol, anyway I’d love some words of reassurance and some of you guyss better researched knowledge, also if the chiari could have any affect on my physical appearance or anatomy other than the brain itself, thanks :)
submitted by Ok_Service_7299 to chiari [link] [comments]
I’m sorry I know that’s a lot and nobody will probably read it , I’m actually just thinking now that I might not even have enough karma to post it lol, anyway I’d love some words of reassurance and some of you guyss better researched knowledge, also if the chiari could have any affect on my physical appearance or anatomy other than the brain itself, thanks :)
2024.06.08 20:31 CIAHerpes I was a member of the Church of the Final Rapture. Our leader wishes to bring about the Apocalypse.
“Before I met the Savior, I was a worthless piece of garbage, barely a human being,” Lovebug droned at the front of the enormous room. Lovebug was a monster of a man, two-hundred and fifty pounds of hard tattooed muscle. Like myself, he was a high-ranking member of the Church.
His flat gray eyes scanned the room with a fanatical gleam. I sat in the first row, watching and waiting. Followers of the Savior would tell their stories, how the Savior had reached down and lifted them out of sin and filth to bring them up to the divine. The bright fluorescent lights overhead droned on with a low hum. Thousands of men crammed together in seats or stood at the back of the room.
The Savior taught only two commandments: to murder is holy, and to die for the Savior is the highest bliss. An army of warriors followed the Savior, knights on a holy crusade, priests who wouldn’t hesitate to burn the foul bodies of any witches or demons we encountered. I thought of myself as a knight for the holy king, our Savior, the mouthpiece of the eternal.
“Now, it is like the hand of God has reached into my heart and loosened all the knots there, the knots of anxiety and fear and uncertainty.” He raised his black, military-style rifle into the air for emphasis. “I never realized the true nature of reality before- the fact that we are living in a simulation where the final battle of good versus evil is playing out before our very eyes. And I will be on the side of the good, until my dying breath. I will be on the side of the Savior and of God!”
The crowd roared and clapped. Men got to their feet, sweating heavily in the boiling hot conference room. I felt the surge of energy pass through me like a tidal wave, the pure confidence and iron will of truth. Lovebug lumbered down off the stage as the Savior came out from behind the red curtains, walking with the straight spine of a soldier. He wore a silky black robe that fluttered softly around him, the hood pulled back.
The Savior had horrific burns running the length of his body. His arms had melted folds of keloid scars visible all the way to the tips of his fingers. His scalp had also melted, and the Savior had no hair except for his eyelashes and eyebrows. But the fire that had nearly killed him had spared his face, an aristocratic visage with ferocious green eyes like those of a cat. That face seemed like it had been sculpted out of marble by DaVinci himself, the high cheekbones jutting out over a chin so sharp that it looked like it could have hammered nails into boards. He stared out at the crowd for a long moment, his gaze unblinking.
“The final battle has begun,” he said in a low voice, no more than a whisper. Yet, in the deathly silence of the hall, his words rang out loud and clear. “Those in charge of this illusory world know that we see them. We see them very well, how they hide behind the curtain. They control the world economy, the justice system. Every government, whether they call themselves communist, authoritarian or democratic, is no more than a puppet in their dancing fingers.
“When anyone tries to stand up and lead the masses of suffering people towards freedom from slavery, they are vilified by the mainstream media, brought up on false charges or killed, their bodies staged to look like a suicide. Look what they did to Jesus, and for what? For telling people to love God more than their rulers? And those who speak out today are also crucified, murdered in prisons or killed by their governments. Truth is the most precious commodity, after all. It is one that can only be purchased with blood.
“So what can we do? How can we fight against such evil?” There was a quiet muttering among the pale, frozen faces that stared up at the stage with adoration and love.
“We can fight it by using their own weapons against them!” the Savior said, his voice rising in speed and pitch. He raised his fisted hands to his chest, accentuating each syllable with a back and forth stab of his hands. “Fight fire with fire, and pay back blood with blood! The only thing these global terrorists understand is greater levels of force. We must show them death on a scale they have never before imagined.” I felt nervous as the Savior delivered his message. I saw other men shuffle anxiously in the crowded auditorium, most of them having high-caliber rifles slung around their shoulders.
I felt the rising violence and bloodlust in the air like electricity before a lightning storm. At that moment, I knew we would all have to fight before too long.
***
The Savior called me and Lovebug back to his office after the speech had ended, sending his squirrely assistant over to deliver the hand-written note in the Savior’s blocky, copperplate handwriting. For a long moment, I simply watched the crowd filtering out of the doors, heading back towards the complex where all the holy soldiers of the Savior lived. Feeling dissociated and light-headed, I followed behind the massive muscular form of Lovebug, the heavy weight of the M16 bouncing against my chest. We pushed through the blood-red velvet curtains, winding our way past stage equipment and down a hallway of pure marble.
Mystical paintings similar to those of Alex Grey covered both walls, showing the inside workings of the human body through art. It was as if the painter had X-ray vision and could see the heart chakra and the countless thin vessels that spiderwebbed up to the crown. But, unlike Alex Grey’s hopeful depictions of mysticism, these showed men and women being burned alive, crucified, decapitated or strangled. Dark colors composed the paintings: the dark blue of a suffocating face, the clotted red of an infected stab wound, the black of death. They captured the essence of struggle perfectly.
The Savior’s office had a thick mahogany door with silver engravings of leaves and vines running the length of it. At the top stood a single staring eye with twelve wavy tentacles emerging from the perimeter of it- the symbol of God, who the Savior had seen personally. God would sometimes speak through the mouth of the Savior, always during times of great tribulation or suffering. Lovebug knocked at the door. The Savior’s deep voice echoed out faintly.
“Come in.”
We entered slowly, the sprawling desk of the Savior filling half of the room. He sat in a comfortable chair behind it, reclining. On the walls behind him, he had pictures of Jesus, Saint Stephen, Gandhi, Hitler, Jim Jones, Shoko Asahara and others who he taught had fought against the world elites and been killed for it.
The Church of the Final Rapture was not a church in the conventional sense. The main teachings didn’t revolve around the divinity of Christ or the nature of original sin. What the Savior taught was far more profound- an illusory or simulated world where every single person could become their own Christ, could awaken to the truth and perform miracles, but only if they believed fully and followed the Savior.
“Sit down, please,” he said in his gravelly voice. “I have a mission I would like to discuss, and you two are the only ones competent and loyal enough to carry it out.”
***
“There is another anomaly spreading,” the Savior said, staring between me and Lovebug with his fanatical emerald eyes. “It is located in a rural part of the United States, in a town called-” he glanced down at the sheet of paper in front of him- “Frost Hollow. Supposedly, there are black-ops sites located nearby, secret alphabet agencies experimenting with magnetic distortion systems and creating rips in the fabric of spacetime with micro-wormholes.
“I don’t think it is much of a leap to say that the anomaly was likely started, either intentionally or unintentionally, by the government, as part of their research. The Cleaners would like to control that power, after all. They have been sending their men after it for years like sheep to the slaughter, expending billions of dollars researching it. If they and the US government end up being able to control the creation and spread of anomalies, they will use it to enslave the world. There is no question about it in my mind.” He leaned forwards towards us, his eyes growing cold.
“There is only one path forward I can see. We need to spread the anomaly, make it become unstable so the demons of Hell contained within it can spill out onto the real world. Perhaps it will awaken the downtrodden masses enough to begin the final revolution. We must fight terrorism with greater terrorism, and violence with greater levels of violence. For this mission, I am sending the two of you into Frost Hollow.
“Your job will be to find the Titan or Titans and lead them out to the border of the anomaly. These are horrendous beasts- indeed, the Church has seen them before. They are nearly impossible to kill. I want you two to go inside, bait it and have it follow you back to the edge, beyond the veil.”
“What’s a Titan?” Lovebug asked, his eyes flicking left and right nervously. The Savior stared at him stonily for a long moment. Then his eyes rolled back in his head, showing only the whites. All the blood seemed to drain from his face. His teeth chattered, his mouth opened, and through it, God spoke, the words pouring out like crashing stones. The voice did not sound anything like the Savior’s. It sounded much deeper, more mechanical, more alien somehow.
“I see you very well. I saw you when you were no more than a blood clot in your mother’s body. I see you even as corpses, rotted, putrefying, crawling with scavengers and insects. I see everything, every moment of time. But, in the anomaly, there are things I cannot see. For this, my holy ones must go forth.
“In the center of Hell, you will find a rose, a bird and a stone. These will be your salvation, if salvation can be found at all. Go with the blessing of Yaldabaoth.” The voice cut off abruptly, the silence deafening. I could hear my own heart pounding in my ears.
The Savior’s eyes came back down, looking confused and uncertain. His pupils were dilated and he was sweating heavily, even though it was cool and air-conditioned back here in his private office. We stared at each other across the table, a no-man’s land that protected me like a shield. For there seemed to be something dark in the Savior along with the light, and I didn’t know if any man could contain that power.
But there was no question of disobeying. Within the hour, Lovebug and I were on one of the Church’s private jets flying to the town of Frost Hollow.
***
The gently rolling hills of Frost Hollow loomed below us as the plane circled the small dirt airstrip in the middle of some cow farms. I looked up at Lovebug, trying to judge his stony expression. He had done many years in prison before joining the Church and finding salvation, even being the leader of one of the gangs. I knew he wasn’t afraid of violence. He had never told me what he did, what tortured him so much.
The Savior had told us much secret knowledge- how to find a Titan, a massive, bloated abomination that could come into being only within an anomaly, a combination of many rotted body pieces fused together in some sort of hellish black magic. The Savior had spies around Frost Hollow and the surrounding towns who had been monitoring the anomaly, watching the unstable gateways leading in and out and mapping them as best they could. We would be given a fast car, plenty of weapons and some body armor. I had no idea how nightmarish the journey would become, however.
“I’m driving,” Lovebug said as we descended the steps. A man in a black suit with the symbol of the eye and tentacles pinned on his black button-up shirt pulled up with a Mercedes AMG-One. It was a sleek, silver thing of immense luxury and power. The craftsmanship made it look like a work of art. I sighed, keeping my finger nervously on the trigger of my rifle as I glanced around the strange, empty town.
“If this thing won’t outrun a Titan, then nothing will,” I said, trying to break the tension. I looked at the speedometer, seeing it went up to 220 miles an hour.
“Damn fucking right,” Lovebug growled as we slid into the futuristic-looking leather seats. The engine turned on like a softly purring kitten. The GPS automatically turned on as well, the soft robotic voice leading us toward one of the more stable portals to the anomaly.
Lovebug sped down the empty forest roads of Frost Hollow, going twice the legal speed limit the entire way.
“The speed limit is only for the lowest common denominator,” Lovebug said pedantically, waggling a tattooed finger for emphasis. The GPS said we would reach the gateway to the anomaly in five minutes. Based on Lovebug’s speed, I thought it would be more like two. “Someone who actually knows how to drive and isn’t drunk or high can easily do 80 in a 40. Easily.” I glanced nervously at the speedometer, realizing he was going over 100 miles an hour now. The sports car hugged the tight corners of the winding forest roads with absolute precision.
“Turn right onto Snake Island Road Extension in five hundred feet,” the robotic female voice. Lovebug slammed on the brakes a few seconds later, the tires skidding and locking up. We looked around frantically, seeing no streets anywhere except the one we were on.
“What the hell?” Lovebug asked. The night was crawling in by now, the darkness covering the forests like a curtain. I squinted, looking at the thick grove of trees on our right, scanning it back and forth over and over. After a few seconds, I realized there was an overgrown dirt path there with no sign. It was nearly impossible to see at night, however, and calling it a road was somewhat of a joke.
“Oh, damn,” I said. “They should’ve given us an SUV.”
***
According to the GPS, our destination was only a thousand feet down Snake Island Road Extension. The low clearance of the Mercedes was a problem as Lovebug tried to navigate the flooded forest path. Deep tread marks flooded with black, stagnant water marked the entirety of Snake Island Road Extension. But ahead, the headlights illuminated something unusual.
Cutting straight across the trees and brush like a razorblade was a shimmering wall of translucent energy. It reminded me of a mirage, curving upwards in wavy spiral patterns. I could see through it easily, but it gave everything a dark, sinister covering. The forest seemed to be in constant motion as the grayish light distorted it.
“Look how huge it is!” I said in awe, staring up at the starry sky. The flat wall rose up seemingly forever, disappearing in the cold void of infinite space. Lovebug slowly ambled the car towards the anomaly, trying to keep the Mercedes from getting stuck with its low clearance.
“You ready for this, man?” Lovebug asked in a quavering voice as we inched towards the anomaly. It was only seconds away now. He grabbed my shoulder. “This is it. Remember the commandments.” I closed my eyes, concentrating my heart on the Savior’s words. Dying for the good is the highest bliss, he had told us.
“Let’s do this,” I said, my eyes flying open from my silent prayer as the hood passed through the anomaly. It disappeared in front of our eyes. We could see the forest on the other side, but the Mercedes looked like it was going through some sort of teleportation portal, being ripped apart layer by layer and sent somewhere else. Lovebug nervously grabbed my hand.
“For the Savior and for the Good,” he whispered as we passed through.
***
I heard screaming and wailing, full of agony and unimaginable horror, like the screams of those burning in Hell. My vision went white. A carpet of morphing dark colors covered everything as the shrieking intensified, until I thought my eardrums would explode.
“Stop!” I cried, feeling the pressure in my head like a splitting migraine. “Stop screaming!” I started kicking, punching, trying to get away.
“Calm the fuck down!” someone whispered, slapping me hard across the face. Stunned, I looked up, seeing Lovebug holding me down in the seat. He was covered in sweat, his face a blank mask of terror. “Don’t scream. There’s things outside that are looking this way.” I blinked fast, my senses coming back to me. I felt like a man waking up from surgery, confused and disoriented, my memories only returning in small trickles and drops.
We were sitting in the Mercedes on a road that looked like it had been made of human skin. The headlights showed the ragged patches of pale, leathery flesh sewn together with black thread. The road disappeared ahead of us in a straight line. The land here looked as flat as Kansas. Like a mirror world, it had houses and restaurants and churches lining both sides of the road, but they were all wrong.
The stone church looked like it was constructed of some kind of red volcanic rock. Baphomets and upside-down pentagrams covered the outer walls, engraved deeply into the glossy surface. Mutilated bodies covered the front lawn, impaled, crucified, skinned alive or burned at the stake. Hundreds of men, women and children lay dead in front of the Satanic temple.
Overhead, the sky bubbled and frothed with red clouds and constant explosions of blue lightning. Like missile flashes, the lightning illuminated the world around us, shining brightly before going dark. The incessant strobing gave the entire place a kind of circus freakshow vibe.
Many of the homes looked like they had been constructed from bones and covered in human skin, like some sort of hellish teepee. Arm and leg bones wrapped in razor-wire formed the pillars. Grinning skulls lined the top of the flat, rectangular roofs, thousands of bleached human heads staring down.
Staring out of the dark doorways, I saw gleaming, silvery eyes. They loomed eight or nine feet in the air on spidery bodies. Their limbs looked as thin as bones, jet-black and dull. The only color from these still revenants was from their unblinking eyes and grinning mouths, where teeth like those of a dragonfish jutted out. Every pair of eyes on that street was fixed intently on the Mercedes, the sick rictus grins on their alien faces never faltering.
“Jesus Christ, I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling weak. “I thought I was in a nightmare for a minute there.” Lovebug shrugged his massive shoulders.
“Yeah, I felt it too, though I came out of it a lot faster than you did,” he said, glancing over at the Satanic church as we passed. It had protective black spikes rising high into the air all around it. The broken body of a child who had been burnt at the stake stood in front of the gates like a death omen, his small, withered hand holding a black rose. Lovebug choked, retching. He nearly rolled down the window, until his eyes met the silvery ones of a nearby abomination.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking closer at the church. On top of the roof, I saw an enormous statue of a black raven, its wings spread as if it were flying. It had three gleaming, silvery eyes embedded into the dark rock.
“That boy just reminds me of my son,” Lovebug whispered glumly, inching along the streets.
“I didn’t know you had a son,” I said, surprised. Lovebug had never mentioned a family. He shrugged.
“I don’t. Not anymore. I killed him. I got drunk and high one night back when I was selling drugs. Fell asleep in the living room with a lit cigarette and burned down the whole house. I killed my wife and son, burned them. They sent me to prison, but what did that matter? The prison up here is far worse.” He tapped the side of his temple.
I was about to say something, but at that moment, many things happened at once.
***
Lovebug was staring at the corpse of the child when an inhumanly long arm reached up from the side of the car. It had fingers like spikes, as sharp as a knife and twice as long as normal human fingers. I gasped, a warning shout welling up in my throat, but the hand came smashing down into the driver’s side window and grabbed Lovebug’s neck.
The window exploded in a shower of safety glass, shattering like brittle bones. Lovebug’s scream was cut off as he was dragged, kicking and screaming, out of the car. I swung open my door, leaping out and bringing my rifle around.
The Cheshire Cat grin of the abomination never faltered as it held Lovebug in front of its body like a human shield, holding him by the neck above the ground. Lovebug’s legs kicked and squirmed, his face turning blue as he slowly suffocated. His eyes bulged from their sockets, panicked and rolling, uncomprehending in their total animal panic.
I flicked on the laser sight. It danced over the ground, flashing over the body of Lovebug and the abomination. But I couldn’t aim for its torso or face, as I would probably hit Lovebug in the process. It was far too close.
I aimed for the monster’s thin, skeletal feet, the black toes twisting over each other like the roots of a tree. The gunshots rang out as a deafening counterpoint to the thunder blasts.
The monster gave a hissing gurgle as two bullets caught it in the right ankle. The creature seemed bloodless, and only dust and ashes rolled out of the exploded insectile flesh. It tried to skitter away, but its destroyed ankle caused it to fall forward, throwing Lovebug.
His body rolled across the road, the soft leather that looked like it was made from tens of thousands of human skins. Gasping, his lips still showing a faint blue cast, he struggled to crawl away.
I saw furtive movement from all around us. The creatures in the houses and doorways were moving forwards, drawn by the bloodshed or noise. Hundreds of glowing, silvery eyes surrounded us. I sprinted forward, dragging Lovebug to his feet.
“The church,” I hissed. “It’s the only place.” Still pulling the weak, confused Lovebug behind me, we staggered towards the black gates. They opened with a shriek of rusted metal.
***
The creatures stopped at the gates to the blood-red church, simply staring at us like statues. They didn’t even seem to breathe, their lidless eyes never blinking, the silvery glow never fading.
“I think this is the place we’re meant to go,” I whispered as we made our way towards the massive pointed doors. “When God spoke to us, he said something about a stone, a bird and a rose, that we would find the Titan through that.” I pointed back at the burnt body of the boy. “He’s holding a rose. On top of the building, there’s a bird. And the church is all stone. Maybe this is the place where God wanted us to go all along.”
“Maybe,” Lovebug muttered through heaving gasps, still grabbing at his bruised neck. “God, this hurts. It feels like I got hanged.” Side by side, we pushed open the doors to the Satanic church and walked inside.
***
Row after row of pews stretched out in front of us. Thousands of black candles were set up all around the perimeter of the enormous chamber. They sputtered and flickered constantly, throwing dancing shadows in every direction.
A small pair of bright eyes glanced up at us from under one of the nearby pews. I nearly jumped out of my skin, pointing the rifle at them and yelling.
“Show yourself! Come out now, or I shoot!” Lovebug looked at me, confused. He hadn’t seen it. But a few heartbeats later, a little girl crawled out, her eyes big and blue, her body an emaciated wreck. She wore ripped strands of what looked like leathery human skin to cover herself, tied together with black string. In one small, grime-streaked hand, she held a half-eaten raw mouse.
“Please, don’t kill me,” she said in a small voice. “I’m Emma. My mommy and daddy got dragged away and I’m scared.” I felt sick and weak looking at this small victim. I reached down and helped her up.
“I wouldn’t hurt you,” I said, kneeling down to her level. “I thought you were one of the bad guys. This is Lovebug, and I’m Jack.”
“This isn’t part of the mission, man,” Lovebug said nervously. “What are we supposed to do with her?”
“Well, we can’t just fucking leave her here,” I whispered back. “We need…” But I never got to finish that thought. Because, at that moment, the church woke up.
***
A red glow started at the front of the chamber, the altar where the priest would have stood and given speeches or holy communion. Here, they had a podium that looked like it was carved from a single block of obsidian. Reflected in it, I saw the screaming faces of people burning in Hell, grinning demons ripping off strips of human flesh and spiraling waves of flames, all sculpted by an artist who was able to capture the most miniscule details of agony and torture.
I looked around, realizing Emma had gone. I hadn’t seen her scurry away and hide, but her absence gave me a feeling of crushing dread in my chest.
“Lovebug, something’s wrong,” I whispered, still staring up at the altar. I heard a floorboard creak behind me. I glanced back just in time to see a man wearing full SWAT gear. I caught the flash of a pistol coming down, the butt aimed at my forehead. I heard the cracking, felt the immense pressure and pain. For a few moments, I swam in the currents of consciousness, trying to stay awake, but then the blackness crept in and stole me away.
***
I awoke suddenly, my hands tied so tightly behind my back that I couldn’t feel my fingers. I felt sick and wanted to throw up. I quickly choked those feelings back down. I tried to shake my head, to clear it, but that just brought jolts of pain like electricity shooting through my skull. Nearby, I heard a gunshot, then another.
“Bring it, fuckers!” Lovebug screamed in an insane voice. The explosion of a grenade rocked the building, and I smelled choking black smoke. I opened my eyes, seeing three men in SWAT gear laying dead, their bodies scattered haphazardly around the chaotic scene. One wall of the church had blown outwards, the stone still sending out gray wisps of wavy smoke into the air. I looked at my partner, seeing he had a bullet hole in his left arm and another one in his stomach. He was bleeding heavily, but the adrenaline and insanity seemed to keep him afloat- for now, at least.
I saw something walking towards us from the stage. It looked like a small boy, but black shadows spiraled up around his chest and face, translucent and shimmering darkly. He looked about five or six, his skin pale and smooth. As Lovebug’s face grew slack and distant, the boy abruptly erupted into flames.
“Don’t kill me again, Dad,” the small boy whispered in a hoarse voice choked with pain. The flames rose from his head and skin, melting his flesh, blackening it. Drops of boiling fat dribbled off his nose and chin. “Don’t send me to the dark place again, Dad…” He continued creeping closer to Lovebug, moving like a lion stalking an antelope.
“I didn’t know!” Lovebug cried, his face going paler. Tears streamed from his eyes as the rifle trembled wildly in his shaking hands. For a long moment, he looked torn, the finger tightening on the trigger as sobs escaped his chattering lips.
“Kill it, Lovebug!” I screamed. “Don’t let it get to you!” But as he dropped the rifle and knelt before the small boy, I knew it was too late.
The shadows spun faster and faster around the burning, dying body of the boy. He gave a scream of soul-shattering agony, reaching out to a small hand towards Lovebug.
“Help me!” the boy cried. Lovebug hesitated before bringing an arm up to take the boy’s hand.
“I missed you, Robbie,” Lovebug said before his fingers brushed the boys. The boy lunged forward, grabbing Lovebug’s hand with an iron grip. I saw Lovebug’s eyes widen in shock and surprise. A moment later, I heard the bones in his hand grinding together before breaking with a sound like snapping tree branches. The boy’s eyes darkened into jet-black orbs, the melted lips splitting into a sadistic grin.
“I missed you, too,” the thing hissed as its right arm changed, melting and reforming into something black and blade-like. The insectile limb swung forward in a blur, coming straight at Lovebug’s heart. He gave a panicked squeal a moment before it hit, trying to pull away with all of his considerable strength, his face turning chalk-white as the shattered bones in his hands ground together.
I closed my eyes, rolling away, trying to undo the knots that held my hands in place. Lovebug must have been greatly outnumbered. He would never have let that man tie me up. I heard the sounds of tearing meat and crunching bone nearby. Lovebug’s final breaths gurgled through the air, but I still kept my eyes closed, not wanting to look.
I felt a small tickle on my wrists, then heard a little voice next to my ear.
“I’ll get you out of here,” Emma whispered. I waited a few moments, then I heard the ropes snap. I looked back, seeing her holding a piece of sharp, broken glass in one tiny hand. In her other, she had the car keys. I wondered how she had gotten them, the little pickpocket.
“Thank God,” I said, rubbing my wrists. I looked around for my rifle, seeing it was laying next to the body of one of the SWAT guys. I wondered who these men were. I crawled towards it slowly, not wanting to draw attention.
“Don’t move another step,” a voice growled behind me. I glanced back, seeing the small boy, his features morphing into those of a demon. Curving horns spiraled from his temples. His jet-black eyes stared down at me with hatred and coldness. “You’ll follow your friend who killed my servants. His soul will stay alive forever within my body, a sickly thing wrapped up in an eternal shriek.”
“Fuck you,” I cried, lunging for my rifle. Emma disappeared behind a pew, running on all fours without looking back. I spun as I hit the ground, turning the barrel towards the morphing face of the shape-shifter. Its jaw unhinged, a snake-like tongue flicking out as it flew through the air towards me. Hollow fangs dripping clear venom grew from its mouth in a heartbeat, elongating and sharpening before my very eyes.
I fired twice, the bullets entering through its mouth and coming out the back of its head. Its flesh disintegrated in an instant, the body turning into light, gray ashes that disappeared in the breeze. Breathing hard, I waited, wondering if it was all over.
I heard a rumbling far below me, as if an earthquake were starting. A moment later, the church floor exploded upwards, sharp rubble and splintered boards flying in every direction.
***
“It’s coming!” Emma screamed, running over and grabbing my hand. I lay there, shell-shocked and unmoving for a long moment. In hindsight, the girl was a natural born survivor with much sharper reflexes than me. It was likely the only reason she survived as long as she had.
“The Titan,” I whispered grimly, trying to pull myself up to my feet. But it was like trying to walk on a heaving, sinking ship. Parts of the floor collapsed down into a seemingly never-ending abyss beneath us.
Near the stage, I saw hundreds of long, pale arms pulling something bloated and monstrous out of the ground. It was a Titan, and no explanation can ever convey the true horror of that thing.
It looked like countless human corpses had been melted together, fused into a ball with sagging, boneless chests, deformed faces and millions of writhing maggots. It groaned and gurgled with many lungs, exhaling a rotting, sulfurous breeze that made me want to retch. A soft susurration of many pained, muttering voices continuously emanated from the Titan.
“Emma, run!” I screamed, but she was already sprinting back towards the front door of the church. I backpedaled, afraid to look away from the creeping monstrosity, the juggernaut of rotting flesh moving towards us.
I heard the Titan closing the distance as I sprinted through the front door. The abominations with the silver eyes still slunk around the gate, blocking the car. I raised the rifle, firing blindly at the creatures, careful not to hit the little girl.
“Go to the car!” I screamed at Emma, feeling around for the keys. As the abominations saw the Titan, those still alive scattered, moving in a blur back into the shadows and homes of this rotten place.
The Titan broke the front wall of the church, sending splinters of red stone flying in every direction like bullets. It groaned and gurgled faster, its sickly cries more insistent. I ran to the Mercedes, starting it up and pressing the accelerator to the floor. I pulled a U-turn, heading back to the border of the anomaly.
***
The engine roared, the car bucking like a wild stallion as it pressed me and Emma back into our seats. But the creeping Titan continued gaining speed behind us, and for a few seconds, I feared we would be crushed to death under its massive weight.
The anomaly shimmered ahead of us. I crashed through it at two hundred miles an hour, skidding wildly as the Mercedes hit the dirt road. I nearly flew into a tree. I managed to right it at the last second, pulling onto the paved street as the Titan broke through behind us.
It followed us out. It’s in the real world now.
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His flat gray eyes scanned the room with a fanatical gleam. I sat in the first row, watching and waiting. Followers of the Savior would tell their stories, how the Savior had reached down and lifted them out of sin and filth to bring them up to the divine. The bright fluorescent lights overhead droned on with a low hum. Thousands of men crammed together in seats or stood at the back of the room.
The Savior taught only two commandments: to murder is holy, and to die for the Savior is the highest bliss. An army of warriors followed the Savior, knights on a holy crusade, priests who wouldn’t hesitate to burn the foul bodies of any witches or demons we encountered. I thought of myself as a knight for the holy king, our Savior, the mouthpiece of the eternal.
“Now, it is like the hand of God has reached into my heart and loosened all the knots there, the knots of anxiety and fear and uncertainty.” He raised his black, military-style rifle into the air for emphasis. “I never realized the true nature of reality before- the fact that we are living in a simulation where the final battle of good versus evil is playing out before our very eyes. And I will be on the side of the good, until my dying breath. I will be on the side of the Savior and of God!”
The crowd roared and clapped. Men got to their feet, sweating heavily in the boiling hot conference room. I felt the surge of energy pass through me like a tidal wave, the pure confidence and iron will of truth. Lovebug lumbered down off the stage as the Savior came out from behind the red curtains, walking with the straight spine of a soldier. He wore a silky black robe that fluttered softly around him, the hood pulled back.
The Savior had horrific burns running the length of his body. His arms had melted folds of keloid scars visible all the way to the tips of his fingers. His scalp had also melted, and the Savior had no hair except for his eyelashes and eyebrows. But the fire that had nearly killed him had spared his face, an aristocratic visage with ferocious green eyes like those of a cat. That face seemed like it had been sculpted out of marble by DaVinci himself, the high cheekbones jutting out over a chin so sharp that it looked like it could have hammered nails into boards. He stared out at the crowd for a long moment, his gaze unblinking.
“The final battle has begun,” he said in a low voice, no more than a whisper. Yet, in the deathly silence of the hall, his words rang out loud and clear. “Those in charge of this illusory world know that we see them. We see them very well, how they hide behind the curtain. They control the world economy, the justice system. Every government, whether they call themselves communist, authoritarian or democratic, is no more than a puppet in their dancing fingers.
“When anyone tries to stand up and lead the masses of suffering people towards freedom from slavery, they are vilified by the mainstream media, brought up on false charges or killed, their bodies staged to look like a suicide. Look what they did to Jesus, and for what? For telling people to love God more than their rulers? And those who speak out today are also crucified, murdered in prisons or killed by their governments. Truth is the most precious commodity, after all. It is one that can only be purchased with blood.
“So what can we do? How can we fight against such evil?” There was a quiet muttering among the pale, frozen faces that stared up at the stage with adoration and love.
“We can fight it by using their own weapons against them!” the Savior said, his voice rising in speed and pitch. He raised his fisted hands to his chest, accentuating each syllable with a back and forth stab of his hands. “Fight fire with fire, and pay back blood with blood! The only thing these global terrorists understand is greater levels of force. We must show them death on a scale they have never before imagined.” I felt nervous as the Savior delivered his message. I saw other men shuffle anxiously in the crowded auditorium, most of them having high-caliber rifles slung around their shoulders.
I felt the rising violence and bloodlust in the air like electricity before a lightning storm. At that moment, I knew we would all have to fight before too long.
***
The Savior called me and Lovebug back to his office after the speech had ended, sending his squirrely assistant over to deliver the hand-written note in the Savior’s blocky, copperplate handwriting. For a long moment, I simply watched the crowd filtering out of the doors, heading back towards the complex where all the holy soldiers of the Savior lived. Feeling dissociated and light-headed, I followed behind the massive muscular form of Lovebug, the heavy weight of the M16 bouncing against my chest. We pushed through the blood-red velvet curtains, winding our way past stage equipment and down a hallway of pure marble.
Mystical paintings similar to those of Alex Grey covered both walls, showing the inside workings of the human body through art. It was as if the painter had X-ray vision and could see the heart chakra and the countless thin vessels that spiderwebbed up to the crown. But, unlike Alex Grey’s hopeful depictions of mysticism, these showed men and women being burned alive, crucified, decapitated or strangled. Dark colors composed the paintings: the dark blue of a suffocating face, the clotted red of an infected stab wound, the black of death. They captured the essence of struggle perfectly.
The Savior’s office had a thick mahogany door with silver engravings of leaves and vines running the length of it. At the top stood a single staring eye with twelve wavy tentacles emerging from the perimeter of it- the symbol of God, who the Savior had seen personally. God would sometimes speak through the mouth of the Savior, always during times of great tribulation or suffering. Lovebug knocked at the door. The Savior’s deep voice echoed out faintly.
“Come in.”
We entered slowly, the sprawling desk of the Savior filling half of the room. He sat in a comfortable chair behind it, reclining. On the walls behind him, he had pictures of Jesus, Saint Stephen, Gandhi, Hitler, Jim Jones, Shoko Asahara and others who he taught had fought against the world elites and been killed for it.
The Church of the Final Rapture was not a church in the conventional sense. The main teachings didn’t revolve around the divinity of Christ or the nature of original sin. What the Savior taught was far more profound- an illusory or simulated world where every single person could become their own Christ, could awaken to the truth and perform miracles, but only if they believed fully and followed the Savior.
“Sit down, please,” he said in his gravelly voice. “I have a mission I would like to discuss, and you two are the only ones competent and loyal enough to carry it out.”
***
“There is another anomaly spreading,” the Savior said, staring between me and Lovebug with his fanatical emerald eyes. “It is located in a rural part of the United States, in a town called-” he glanced down at the sheet of paper in front of him- “Frost Hollow. Supposedly, there are black-ops sites located nearby, secret alphabet agencies experimenting with magnetic distortion systems and creating rips in the fabric of spacetime with micro-wormholes.
“I don’t think it is much of a leap to say that the anomaly was likely started, either intentionally or unintentionally, by the government, as part of their research. The Cleaners would like to control that power, after all. They have been sending their men after it for years like sheep to the slaughter, expending billions of dollars researching it. If they and the US government end up being able to control the creation and spread of anomalies, they will use it to enslave the world. There is no question about it in my mind.” He leaned forwards towards us, his eyes growing cold.
“There is only one path forward I can see. We need to spread the anomaly, make it become unstable so the demons of Hell contained within it can spill out onto the real world. Perhaps it will awaken the downtrodden masses enough to begin the final revolution. We must fight terrorism with greater terrorism, and violence with greater levels of violence. For this mission, I am sending the two of you into Frost Hollow.
“Your job will be to find the Titan or Titans and lead them out to the border of the anomaly. These are horrendous beasts- indeed, the Church has seen them before. They are nearly impossible to kill. I want you two to go inside, bait it and have it follow you back to the edge, beyond the veil.”
“What’s a Titan?” Lovebug asked, his eyes flicking left and right nervously. The Savior stared at him stonily for a long moment. Then his eyes rolled back in his head, showing only the whites. All the blood seemed to drain from his face. His teeth chattered, his mouth opened, and through it, God spoke, the words pouring out like crashing stones. The voice did not sound anything like the Savior’s. It sounded much deeper, more mechanical, more alien somehow.
“I see you very well. I saw you when you were no more than a blood clot in your mother’s body. I see you even as corpses, rotted, putrefying, crawling with scavengers and insects. I see everything, every moment of time. But, in the anomaly, there are things I cannot see. For this, my holy ones must go forth.
“In the center of Hell, you will find a rose, a bird and a stone. These will be your salvation, if salvation can be found at all. Go with the blessing of Yaldabaoth.” The voice cut off abruptly, the silence deafening. I could hear my own heart pounding in my ears.
The Savior’s eyes came back down, looking confused and uncertain. His pupils were dilated and he was sweating heavily, even though it was cool and air-conditioned back here in his private office. We stared at each other across the table, a no-man’s land that protected me like a shield. For there seemed to be something dark in the Savior along with the light, and I didn’t know if any man could contain that power.
But there was no question of disobeying. Within the hour, Lovebug and I were on one of the Church’s private jets flying to the town of Frost Hollow.
***
The gently rolling hills of Frost Hollow loomed below us as the plane circled the small dirt airstrip in the middle of some cow farms. I looked up at Lovebug, trying to judge his stony expression. He had done many years in prison before joining the Church and finding salvation, even being the leader of one of the gangs. I knew he wasn’t afraid of violence. He had never told me what he did, what tortured him so much.
The Savior had told us much secret knowledge- how to find a Titan, a massive, bloated abomination that could come into being only within an anomaly, a combination of many rotted body pieces fused together in some sort of hellish black magic. The Savior had spies around Frost Hollow and the surrounding towns who had been monitoring the anomaly, watching the unstable gateways leading in and out and mapping them as best they could. We would be given a fast car, plenty of weapons and some body armor. I had no idea how nightmarish the journey would become, however.
“I’m driving,” Lovebug said as we descended the steps. A man in a black suit with the symbol of the eye and tentacles pinned on his black button-up shirt pulled up with a Mercedes AMG-One. It was a sleek, silver thing of immense luxury and power. The craftsmanship made it look like a work of art. I sighed, keeping my finger nervously on the trigger of my rifle as I glanced around the strange, empty town.
“If this thing won’t outrun a Titan, then nothing will,” I said, trying to break the tension. I looked at the speedometer, seeing it went up to 220 miles an hour.
“Damn fucking right,” Lovebug growled as we slid into the futuristic-looking leather seats. The engine turned on like a softly purring kitten. The GPS automatically turned on as well, the soft robotic voice leading us toward one of the more stable portals to the anomaly.
Lovebug sped down the empty forest roads of Frost Hollow, going twice the legal speed limit the entire way.
“The speed limit is only for the lowest common denominator,” Lovebug said pedantically, waggling a tattooed finger for emphasis. The GPS said we would reach the gateway to the anomaly in five minutes. Based on Lovebug’s speed, I thought it would be more like two. “Someone who actually knows how to drive and isn’t drunk or high can easily do 80 in a 40. Easily.” I glanced nervously at the speedometer, realizing he was going over 100 miles an hour now. The sports car hugged the tight corners of the winding forest roads with absolute precision.
“Turn right onto Snake Island Road Extension in five hundred feet,” the robotic female voice. Lovebug slammed on the brakes a few seconds later, the tires skidding and locking up. We looked around frantically, seeing no streets anywhere except the one we were on.
“What the hell?” Lovebug asked. The night was crawling in by now, the darkness covering the forests like a curtain. I squinted, looking at the thick grove of trees on our right, scanning it back and forth over and over. After a few seconds, I realized there was an overgrown dirt path there with no sign. It was nearly impossible to see at night, however, and calling it a road was somewhat of a joke.
“Oh, damn,” I said. “They should’ve given us an SUV.”
***
According to the GPS, our destination was only a thousand feet down Snake Island Road Extension. The low clearance of the Mercedes was a problem as Lovebug tried to navigate the flooded forest path. Deep tread marks flooded with black, stagnant water marked the entirety of Snake Island Road Extension. But ahead, the headlights illuminated something unusual.
Cutting straight across the trees and brush like a razorblade was a shimmering wall of translucent energy. It reminded me of a mirage, curving upwards in wavy spiral patterns. I could see through it easily, but it gave everything a dark, sinister covering. The forest seemed to be in constant motion as the grayish light distorted it.
“Look how huge it is!” I said in awe, staring up at the starry sky. The flat wall rose up seemingly forever, disappearing in the cold void of infinite space. Lovebug slowly ambled the car towards the anomaly, trying to keep the Mercedes from getting stuck with its low clearance.
“You ready for this, man?” Lovebug asked in a quavering voice as we inched towards the anomaly. It was only seconds away now. He grabbed my shoulder. “This is it. Remember the commandments.” I closed my eyes, concentrating my heart on the Savior’s words. Dying for the good is the highest bliss, he had told us.
“Let’s do this,” I said, my eyes flying open from my silent prayer as the hood passed through the anomaly. It disappeared in front of our eyes. We could see the forest on the other side, but the Mercedes looked like it was going through some sort of teleportation portal, being ripped apart layer by layer and sent somewhere else. Lovebug nervously grabbed my hand.
“For the Savior and for the Good,” he whispered as we passed through.
***
I heard screaming and wailing, full of agony and unimaginable horror, like the screams of those burning in Hell. My vision went white. A carpet of morphing dark colors covered everything as the shrieking intensified, until I thought my eardrums would explode.
“Stop!” I cried, feeling the pressure in my head like a splitting migraine. “Stop screaming!” I started kicking, punching, trying to get away.
“Calm the fuck down!” someone whispered, slapping me hard across the face. Stunned, I looked up, seeing Lovebug holding me down in the seat. He was covered in sweat, his face a blank mask of terror. “Don’t scream. There’s things outside that are looking this way.” I blinked fast, my senses coming back to me. I felt like a man waking up from surgery, confused and disoriented, my memories only returning in small trickles and drops.
We were sitting in the Mercedes on a road that looked like it had been made of human skin. The headlights showed the ragged patches of pale, leathery flesh sewn together with black thread. The road disappeared ahead of us in a straight line. The land here looked as flat as Kansas. Like a mirror world, it had houses and restaurants and churches lining both sides of the road, but they were all wrong.
The stone church looked like it was constructed of some kind of red volcanic rock. Baphomets and upside-down pentagrams covered the outer walls, engraved deeply into the glossy surface. Mutilated bodies covered the front lawn, impaled, crucified, skinned alive or burned at the stake. Hundreds of men, women and children lay dead in front of the Satanic temple.
Overhead, the sky bubbled and frothed with red clouds and constant explosions of blue lightning. Like missile flashes, the lightning illuminated the world around us, shining brightly before going dark. The incessant strobing gave the entire place a kind of circus freakshow vibe.
Many of the homes looked like they had been constructed from bones and covered in human skin, like some sort of hellish teepee. Arm and leg bones wrapped in razor-wire formed the pillars. Grinning skulls lined the top of the flat, rectangular roofs, thousands of bleached human heads staring down.
Staring out of the dark doorways, I saw gleaming, silvery eyes. They loomed eight or nine feet in the air on spidery bodies. Their limbs looked as thin as bones, jet-black and dull. The only color from these still revenants was from their unblinking eyes and grinning mouths, where teeth like those of a dragonfish jutted out. Every pair of eyes on that street was fixed intently on the Mercedes, the sick rictus grins on their alien faces never faltering.
“Jesus Christ, I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling weak. “I thought I was in a nightmare for a minute there.” Lovebug shrugged his massive shoulders.
“Yeah, I felt it too, though I came out of it a lot faster than you did,” he said, glancing over at the Satanic church as we passed. It had protective black spikes rising high into the air all around it. The broken body of a child who had been burnt at the stake stood in front of the gates like a death omen, his small, withered hand holding a black rose. Lovebug choked, retching. He nearly rolled down the window, until his eyes met the silvery ones of a nearby abomination.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking closer at the church. On top of the roof, I saw an enormous statue of a black raven, its wings spread as if it were flying. It had three gleaming, silvery eyes embedded into the dark rock.
“That boy just reminds me of my son,” Lovebug whispered glumly, inching along the streets.
“I didn’t know you had a son,” I said, surprised. Lovebug had never mentioned a family. He shrugged.
“I don’t. Not anymore. I killed him. I got drunk and high one night back when I was selling drugs. Fell asleep in the living room with a lit cigarette and burned down the whole house. I killed my wife and son, burned them. They sent me to prison, but what did that matter? The prison up here is far worse.” He tapped the side of his temple.
I was about to say something, but at that moment, many things happened at once.
***
Lovebug was staring at the corpse of the child when an inhumanly long arm reached up from the side of the car. It had fingers like spikes, as sharp as a knife and twice as long as normal human fingers. I gasped, a warning shout welling up in my throat, but the hand came smashing down into the driver’s side window and grabbed Lovebug’s neck.
The window exploded in a shower of safety glass, shattering like brittle bones. Lovebug’s scream was cut off as he was dragged, kicking and screaming, out of the car. I swung open my door, leaping out and bringing my rifle around.
The Cheshire Cat grin of the abomination never faltered as it held Lovebug in front of its body like a human shield, holding him by the neck above the ground. Lovebug’s legs kicked and squirmed, his face turning blue as he slowly suffocated. His eyes bulged from their sockets, panicked and rolling, uncomprehending in their total animal panic.
I flicked on the laser sight. It danced over the ground, flashing over the body of Lovebug and the abomination. But I couldn’t aim for its torso or face, as I would probably hit Lovebug in the process. It was far too close.
I aimed for the monster’s thin, skeletal feet, the black toes twisting over each other like the roots of a tree. The gunshots rang out as a deafening counterpoint to the thunder blasts.
The monster gave a hissing gurgle as two bullets caught it in the right ankle. The creature seemed bloodless, and only dust and ashes rolled out of the exploded insectile flesh. It tried to skitter away, but its destroyed ankle caused it to fall forward, throwing Lovebug.
His body rolled across the road, the soft leather that looked like it was made from tens of thousands of human skins. Gasping, his lips still showing a faint blue cast, he struggled to crawl away.
I saw furtive movement from all around us. The creatures in the houses and doorways were moving forwards, drawn by the bloodshed or noise. Hundreds of glowing, silvery eyes surrounded us. I sprinted forward, dragging Lovebug to his feet.
“The church,” I hissed. “It’s the only place.” Still pulling the weak, confused Lovebug behind me, we staggered towards the black gates. They opened with a shriek of rusted metal.
***
The creatures stopped at the gates to the blood-red church, simply staring at us like statues. They didn’t even seem to breathe, their lidless eyes never blinking, the silvery glow never fading.
“I think this is the place we’re meant to go,” I whispered as we made our way towards the massive pointed doors. “When God spoke to us, he said something about a stone, a bird and a rose, that we would find the Titan through that.” I pointed back at the burnt body of the boy. “He’s holding a rose. On top of the building, there’s a bird. And the church is all stone. Maybe this is the place where God wanted us to go all along.”
“Maybe,” Lovebug muttered through heaving gasps, still grabbing at his bruised neck. “God, this hurts. It feels like I got hanged.” Side by side, we pushed open the doors to the Satanic church and walked inside.
***
Row after row of pews stretched out in front of us. Thousands of black candles were set up all around the perimeter of the enormous chamber. They sputtered and flickered constantly, throwing dancing shadows in every direction.
A small pair of bright eyes glanced up at us from under one of the nearby pews. I nearly jumped out of my skin, pointing the rifle at them and yelling.
“Show yourself! Come out now, or I shoot!” Lovebug looked at me, confused. He hadn’t seen it. But a few heartbeats later, a little girl crawled out, her eyes big and blue, her body an emaciated wreck. She wore ripped strands of what looked like leathery human skin to cover herself, tied together with black string. In one small, grime-streaked hand, she held a half-eaten raw mouse.
“Please, don’t kill me,” she said in a small voice. “I’m Emma. My mommy and daddy got dragged away and I’m scared.” I felt sick and weak looking at this small victim. I reached down and helped her up.
“I wouldn’t hurt you,” I said, kneeling down to her level. “I thought you were one of the bad guys. This is Lovebug, and I’m Jack.”
“This isn’t part of the mission, man,” Lovebug said nervously. “What are we supposed to do with her?”
“Well, we can’t just fucking leave her here,” I whispered back. “We need…” But I never got to finish that thought. Because, at that moment, the church woke up.
***
A red glow started at the front of the chamber, the altar where the priest would have stood and given speeches or holy communion. Here, they had a podium that looked like it was carved from a single block of obsidian. Reflected in it, I saw the screaming faces of people burning in Hell, grinning demons ripping off strips of human flesh and spiraling waves of flames, all sculpted by an artist who was able to capture the most miniscule details of agony and torture.
I looked around, realizing Emma had gone. I hadn’t seen her scurry away and hide, but her absence gave me a feeling of crushing dread in my chest.
“Lovebug, something’s wrong,” I whispered, still staring up at the altar. I heard a floorboard creak behind me. I glanced back just in time to see a man wearing full SWAT gear. I caught the flash of a pistol coming down, the butt aimed at my forehead. I heard the cracking, felt the immense pressure and pain. For a few moments, I swam in the currents of consciousness, trying to stay awake, but then the blackness crept in and stole me away.
***
I awoke suddenly, my hands tied so tightly behind my back that I couldn’t feel my fingers. I felt sick and wanted to throw up. I quickly choked those feelings back down. I tried to shake my head, to clear it, but that just brought jolts of pain like electricity shooting through my skull. Nearby, I heard a gunshot, then another.
“Bring it, fuckers!” Lovebug screamed in an insane voice. The explosion of a grenade rocked the building, and I smelled choking black smoke. I opened my eyes, seeing three men in SWAT gear laying dead, their bodies scattered haphazardly around the chaotic scene. One wall of the church had blown outwards, the stone still sending out gray wisps of wavy smoke into the air. I looked at my partner, seeing he had a bullet hole in his left arm and another one in his stomach. He was bleeding heavily, but the adrenaline and insanity seemed to keep him afloat- for now, at least.
I saw something walking towards us from the stage. It looked like a small boy, but black shadows spiraled up around his chest and face, translucent and shimmering darkly. He looked about five or six, his skin pale and smooth. As Lovebug’s face grew slack and distant, the boy abruptly erupted into flames.
“Don’t kill me again, Dad,” the small boy whispered in a hoarse voice choked with pain. The flames rose from his head and skin, melting his flesh, blackening it. Drops of boiling fat dribbled off his nose and chin. “Don’t send me to the dark place again, Dad…” He continued creeping closer to Lovebug, moving like a lion stalking an antelope.
“I didn’t know!” Lovebug cried, his face going paler. Tears streamed from his eyes as the rifle trembled wildly in his shaking hands. For a long moment, he looked torn, the finger tightening on the trigger as sobs escaped his chattering lips.
“Kill it, Lovebug!” I screamed. “Don’t let it get to you!” But as he dropped the rifle and knelt before the small boy, I knew it was too late.
The shadows spun faster and faster around the burning, dying body of the boy. He gave a scream of soul-shattering agony, reaching out to a small hand towards Lovebug.
“Help me!” the boy cried. Lovebug hesitated before bringing an arm up to take the boy’s hand.
“I missed you, Robbie,” Lovebug said before his fingers brushed the boys. The boy lunged forward, grabbing Lovebug’s hand with an iron grip. I saw Lovebug’s eyes widen in shock and surprise. A moment later, I heard the bones in his hand grinding together before breaking with a sound like snapping tree branches. The boy’s eyes darkened into jet-black orbs, the melted lips splitting into a sadistic grin.
“I missed you, too,” the thing hissed as its right arm changed, melting and reforming into something black and blade-like. The insectile limb swung forward in a blur, coming straight at Lovebug’s heart. He gave a panicked squeal a moment before it hit, trying to pull away with all of his considerable strength, his face turning chalk-white as the shattered bones in his hands ground together.
I closed my eyes, rolling away, trying to undo the knots that held my hands in place. Lovebug must have been greatly outnumbered. He would never have let that man tie me up. I heard the sounds of tearing meat and crunching bone nearby. Lovebug’s final breaths gurgled through the air, but I still kept my eyes closed, not wanting to look.
I felt a small tickle on my wrists, then heard a little voice next to my ear.
“I’ll get you out of here,” Emma whispered. I waited a few moments, then I heard the ropes snap. I looked back, seeing her holding a piece of sharp, broken glass in one tiny hand. In her other, she had the car keys. I wondered how she had gotten them, the little pickpocket.
“Thank God,” I said, rubbing my wrists. I looked around for my rifle, seeing it was laying next to the body of one of the SWAT guys. I wondered who these men were. I crawled towards it slowly, not wanting to draw attention.
“Don’t move another step,” a voice growled behind me. I glanced back, seeing the small boy, his features morphing into those of a demon. Curving horns spiraled from his temples. His jet-black eyes stared down at me with hatred and coldness. “You’ll follow your friend who killed my servants. His soul will stay alive forever within my body, a sickly thing wrapped up in an eternal shriek.”
“Fuck you,” I cried, lunging for my rifle. Emma disappeared behind a pew, running on all fours without looking back. I spun as I hit the ground, turning the barrel towards the morphing face of the shape-shifter. Its jaw unhinged, a snake-like tongue flicking out as it flew through the air towards me. Hollow fangs dripping clear venom grew from its mouth in a heartbeat, elongating and sharpening before my very eyes.
I fired twice, the bullets entering through its mouth and coming out the back of its head. Its flesh disintegrated in an instant, the body turning into light, gray ashes that disappeared in the breeze. Breathing hard, I waited, wondering if it was all over.
I heard a rumbling far below me, as if an earthquake were starting. A moment later, the church floor exploded upwards, sharp rubble and splintered boards flying in every direction.
***
“It’s coming!” Emma screamed, running over and grabbing my hand. I lay there, shell-shocked and unmoving for a long moment. In hindsight, the girl was a natural born survivor with much sharper reflexes than me. It was likely the only reason she survived as long as she had.
“The Titan,” I whispered grimly, trying to pull myself up to my feet. But it was like trying to walk on a heaving, sinking ship. Parts of the floor collapsed down into a seemingly never-ending abyss beneath us.
Near the stage, I saw hundreds of long, pale arms pulling something bloated and monstrous out of the ground. It was a Titan, and no explanation can ever convey the true horror of that thing.
It looked like countless human corpses had been melted together, fused into a ball with sagging, boneless chests, deformed faces and millions of writhing maggots. It groaned and gurgled with many lungs, exhaling a rotting, sulfurous breeze that made me want to retch. A soft susurration of many pained, muttering voices continuously emanated from the Titan.
“Emma, run!” I screamed, but she was already sprinting back towards the front door of the church. I backpedaled, afraid to look away from the creeping monstrosity, the juggernaut of rotting flesh moving towards us.
I heard the Titan closing the distance as I sprinted through the front door. The abominations with the silver eyes still slunk around the gate, blocking the car. I raised the rifle, firing blindly at the creatures, careful not to hit the little girl.
“Go to the car!” I screamed at Emma, feeling around for the keys. As the abominations saw the Titan, those still alive scattered, moving in a blur back into the shadows and homes of this rotten place.
The Titan broke the front wall of the church, sending splinters of red stone flying in every direction like bullets. It groaned and gurgled faster, its sickly cries more insistent. I ran to the Mercedes, starting it up and pressing the accelerator to the floor. I pulled a U-turn, heading back to the border of the anomaly.
***
The engine roared, the car bucking like a wild stallion as it pressed me and Emma back into our seats. But the creeping Titan continued gaining speed behind us, and for a few seconds, I feared we would be crushed to death under its massive weight.
The anomaly shimmered ahead of us. I crashed through it at two hundred miles an hour, skidding wildly as the Mercedes hit the dirt road. I nearly flew into a tree. I managed to right it at the last second, pulling onto the paved street as the Titan broke through behind us.
It followed us out. It’s in the real world now.
2024.06.08 19:52 bangeltigersaprem Heated conversation with psychiatrist. Am I wrong about Wellbutrin?
Posting this one more time since I didn't get any responses to my last post:
Original Post:
I see a psychiatrist for:
I've tried several anti-depressants (Buspirone, Mirtazapine, Parnate, Nefazodone) + some other medications (Propanolol, Gabapentin) that have made little impact on my symptoms (with the exception of Clonazepam & Hydroxzine reducing my anxiety).
I've also tried 2 SSRI's (Sertraline & Fluoxetine) both of which did NOT jive well with me. On both SSRI's (even several months into treatment), most of my baseline symptoms actually got worse. I became emotionally blunted, irritable, and my motivation levels, anhedonic symptoms, & cognitive abilities all took a nose dive for the worse.
And I've also tried Wellbutrin (Bupropion). Twice. Each time I've taken Wellbutrin, there was a marginal improvement in my executive dysfunction & motivation levels. But this improvement was slight and came with lots of side effects (increased anxiety, bruxism, feeling wired like having drunk too much coffee, insomnia, overstimulation, etc).
Anyways....at our last appointment, the topic of ADHD stimulant medications and Wellbutrin (Bupropion) came up. I asked if he thought I would benefit from a stimulant. He said no because I've already tried Wellbutrin unsuccessfully which confirms that low dopamine activity is not my issue.
That's when I showed him this excerpt from the Pharmacology section on the Wikipedia page for Bupropion:
(*note the bolded sentences)
A lot of this research is pretty new and has only come out in the last few years (2017, 2021, 2022 publish dates for some of these sources). I told him that this new-ish data (that Bupropion may work primarily via raising norepinephrine activity alone, and not dopamine too, as previously thought) corresponds with my understanding of how norepinephrine affects the brain/body & also the symptoms I had while on Wellbutrin (an increase in norepinephrine activity resulting in more anxiety, feeling overstimulated, having insomnia with a small improvement in my motivation levels but no change in my ability to focus, cognitive functions, etc)
He had a few things to say about this:
When I argued against what he was saying, he got very upset and I think he was offended. He said that he was a doctor and that I shouldn't argue with him. I tried my best to present my information in a polite way and said I did not mean to have an argument and had no intention of disrespecting him in any way. Although it's possible I could have been a little less blunt and presented the information better, which is something I need to work on.
But regardless, am I in the wrong about Wellbutrin & Dopamine & Norepinephrine?
If I am wrong, I would love to hear why and specifically which of my arguments are flawed. I don't ever want to be misinformed and I feel really awful & uncomfortable about our appointment.
I value this community and any thoughts you might have to share!
Thank you for reading,
_______________________________________________________________________
Disclaimers/More Info:
My symptoms do not seem to be lifestyle-related. I sleep fine and get at least 7 hours a night. I'm relatively fit and exercise regularly. My social life is normal. I'm 100% sober (except 1 cup of coffee a day). My diet is well rounded, mostly whole-food plant-based. All my blood work is normal. I have hobbies, no trauma, a normal family, etc.
Also, I by no means consider myself an expert and I'm 100% aware that I don't have anywhere close to the knowledge of a trained psychiatrist. That being said, I do have an interest in pharmacology and try to do my own "research" into novel medications and their mechanisms. I do this because so many medications have failed me and my symptoms seem so difficult to treat. For example, some of my symptoms have a little bit of overlap with the negative symptoms of schizophrenia and I've read that the negative symptoms of schizophrenia are much more difficult to treat via medication than the positive ones. Of course, I'm not saying I have schizophrenia or schizophrenia simplex or anything like that. Despite my anhedonia, my affect is normal. My hygiene habits are good. And I don't socially isolate. But there is a little bit of overlap in symptoms.
submitted by bangeltigersaprem to AskPsychiatry [link] [comments]
Original Post:
I see a psychiatrist for:
- Anhedonic depression (no melancholic depression, no suicidal thoughts, no feelings of worthlessness, etc - just a pure lack of an ability to feel or anticipate pleasure)
- Executive Dysfunction (pathological inability to execute simple tasks),
- lack of motivation & drive,
- lack of focus (hard to stay focused on tasks for very long),
- mild anxiety,
- and some pretty bad cognitive impairments (poor working memory, poor verbal abilities, poor reading comprehension, dyscalculia, etc).
I've tried several anti-depressants (Buspirone, Mirtazapine, Parnate, Nefazodone) + some other medications (Propanolol, Gabapentin) that have made little impact on my symptoms (with the exception of Clonazepam & Hydroxzine reducing my anxiety).
I've also tried 2 SSRI's (Sertraline & Fluoxetine) both of which did NOT jive well with me. On both SSRI's (even several months into treatment), most of my baseline symptoms actually got worse. I became emotionally blunted, irritable, and my motivation levels, anhedonic symptoms, & cognitive abilities all took a nose dive for the worse.
And I've also tried Wellbutrin (Bupropion). Twice. Each time I've taken Wellbutrin, there was a marginal improvement in my executive dysfunction & motivation levels. But this improvement was slight and came with lots of side effects (increased anxiety, bruxism, feeling wired like having drunk too much coffee, insomnia, overstimulation, etc).
Anyways....at our last appointment, the topic of ADHD stimulant medications and Wellbutrin (Bupropion) came up. I asked if he thought I would benefit from a stimulant. He said no because I've already tried Wellbutrin unsuccessfully which confirms that low dopamine activity is not my issue.
That's when I showed him this excerpt from the Pharmacology section on the Wikipedia page for Bupropion:
The occupancy of dopamine transporter (DAT) by bupropion (300 mg/day) and its metabolites in the human brain as measured by several positron emission tomography (PET) studies is approximately 20%, with a mean occupancy range of about 14 to 26%.[29][30][31] For comparison, the NDRI methylphenidate at therapeutic doses is thought to occupy greater than 50% of DAT sites.[31] In accordance with its low DAT occupancy, no measurable dopamine release in the human brain was detected with bupropion (one 150 mg dose) in a PET study.[29][30][113] Bupropion has also been shown to increase striatal VMAT2, though it is unknown if this effect is more pronounced than other DRIs.[114] These findings raise questions about the role of dopamine reuptake inhibition in the pharmacology of bupropion, and suggest that other actions may be responsible for its therapeutic effects.[29][31][30] No data are available on occupancy of the norepinephrine transporter (NET) by bupropion and its metabolites.[29] However, due to the increased exposure of hydroxybupropion over bupropion itself, which has higher affinity for the NET than the DAT,[107] bupropion's overall pharmacological profile in humans may end up making it effectively more of a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor than a dopamine reuptake inhibitor.[32][33] Accordingly, the clinical effects of bupropion are more consistent with noradrenergic activity than with dopaminergic actions.[32][33]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bupropion#Pharmacology
(*note the bolded sentences)
A lot of this research is pretty new and has only come out in the last few years (2017, 2021, 2022 publish dates for some of these sources). I told him that this new-ish data (that Bupropion may work primarily via raising norepinephrine activity alone, and not dopamine too, as previously thought) corresponds with my understanding of how norepinephrine affects the brain/body & also the symptoms I had while on Wellbutrin (an increase in norepinephrine activity resulting in more anxiety, feeling overstimulated, having insomnia with a small improvement in my motivation levels but no change in my ability to focus, cognitive functions, etc)
He had a few things to say about this:
- He said Wikipedia is unreliable and not a good source and that this information is most likely not true.
- He said that Dopamine & Norepinephrine differ by one hydroxyl group and are converted back & forth into each other via a hydroxylase enzyme. So, he said you cannot have norepinephrine without dopamine. He said this multiple times: you cannot have norepinephrine without dopamine.
- He re-affirmed that low dopamine activity is not involved in my symptoms because 1. Norepinephrine & Dopamine always go hand-and-hand. and 2. Bupropion affects norepinephrine and therefore dopamine. And 3. I tried Bupropion twice and did not benefit from it
- I agreed that Wikipedia is not a great primary source and should never be used for real research purposes. However, all of the statements from that Wikipedia excerpt I showed him are cited using multiple sources and these sources are from peer-reviewed academic journals. I said Wikipedia can actually be pretty accurate when it comes to medication information and does a good job of summarizing the basics of the pharmacology of a drug (but of course, does not get as nuanced or in-depth about a medication's complex pharmacology as a research paper would). I suggested that he read the individual studies that Wikipedia cites because this research seems to be new-ish.
- I said that the example he gave about norepinephrine & dopamine concerns the raw quantities of the neurotransmitters themselves. Yes, if you raise the production of dopamine itself, you will, by definition, raise the levels of norepinephrine because there will be more dopamine available for dopamine hydroxylase to convert into norepinephrine. However, I said that a medication can selectively enhance norepinephrine neurotransmission and have a minimal impact on dopamine neurotransmission without affecting the actual quantity of each neurotransmitter themselves. And that there are many medications that do this. For example, a drug itself can directly agonize adrenergic receptors while having little to no binding to dopamine receptors. Or a medication can selectively inhibit the Norepinephrine Transporter (NET) without having an effect on the Dopamine Transporter (DAT). I mean, there's a whole class of medications called NRI's (Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norepinephrine\_reuptake\_inhibitor. Some of these do increase dopamine activity. But several of them have a minimal impact on dopamine activity.
- (Also, side note here: doesn't dopamine-hydroxylase convert dopamine into norepinephrine and not the other way around? Meaning, what my psychiatrist said about them interconverting isn't exactly true? In other words, increasing dopamine levels will increase norepinephrine levels but not the other way around? Or does the opposite reaction (norepinephrine to dopamine) still occur? Either through a dopamine-hydroxylase reverse reaction or some other enzyme?)
- Because of this new research on Bupropion, my negative experience with Bupropion doesn't necessarily rule out low dopamine activity.
When I argued against what he was saying, he got very upset and I think he was offended. He said that he was a doctor and that I shouldn't argue with him. I tried my best to present my information in a polite way and said I did not mean to have an argument and had no intention of disrespecting him in any way. Although it's possible I could have been a little less blunt and presented the information better, which is something I need to work on.
But regardless, am I in the wrong about Wellbutrin & Dopamine & Norepinephrine?
If I am wrong, I would love to hear why and specifically which of my arguments are flawed. I don't ever want to be misinformed and I feel really awful & uncomfortable about our appointment.
I value this community and any thoughts you might have to share!
Thank you for reading,
_______________________________________________________________________
Disclaimers/More Info:
My symptoms do not seem to be lifestyle-related. I sleep fine and get at least 7 hours a night. I'm relatively fit and exercise regularly. My social life is normal. I'm 100% sober (except 1 cup of coffee a day). My diet is well rounded, mostly whole-food plant-based. All my blood work is normal. I have hobbies, no trauma, a normal family, etc.
Also, I by no means consider myself an expert and I'm 100% aware that I don't have anywhere close to the knowledge of a trained psychiatrist. That being said, I do have an interest in pharmacology and try to do my own "research" into novel medications and their mechanisms. I do this because so many medications have failed me and my symptoms seem so difficult to treat. For example, some of my symptoms have a little bit of overlap with the negative symptoms of schizophrenia and I've read that the negative symptoms of schizophrenia are much more difficult to treat via medication than the positive ones. Of course, I'm not saying I have schizophrenia or schizophrenia simplex or anything like that. Despite my anhedonia, my affect is normal. My hygiene habits are good. And I don't socially isolate. But there is a little bit of overlap in symptoms.
2024.06.08 19:50 unknownuser123lo Traumatic birth experience at hospital
Hi guys! I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on June 1st. I just need someone to tell me am I wrong for feeling this way? I just can’t stop thinking about it. I just genuinely realized how weird the nurses acted the whole time I was recovering those 2-3 days after my c section. Also I didn’t realize how annoying they would be coming in and out all the time to check vitals me and my baby and our blood pressure. Well at first everything was lovely, I was so happy to have my baby in my arms. But on the third day there was this one particular nurse who I felt weird about. My boyfriend had our baby in his arms and he was just relaxing with him and she comes in and says “that’s fine if you want to have him like that but if you fall asleep he could suffocate, he needs to be in the bassinet” ok.. fine. He was awake and aware he obviously knows. Well I placed my baby in the bassinet and the sheet on the mattress wasn’t completely laid out but it was just crumbly, at this point I was losing sleep because my baby would NOT sleep in the bassinet if we weren’t there holding him. I swaddled him and placed him in the bassinet, the same nurse came in and said he will suffocate because of the sheet (there’s nothing around him and it was pretty t flat) so she fixed his bed. I was so irritated because she kept saying the same thing no matter what. It felt like I couldn’t just relax or enjoy my recovery because she kept coming in and other people too. I had high blood pressure at this point, my midwife was concerned because I was telling her about PPD, which I kind of regret but she went and told all the other nurses when I was telling her how I don’t trust the nurses knowing this information and only trusted her, well I regret that. That same nurse told my midwife that she said I was pacing around my room anxiously, that was such a LIE. I was walking around because I wanted to start walking after my c section so I can move around a bit after laying for so long, me and my boyfriend were laughing and actually having a good time. Well that same night everything started feeling weird and off to me, I wanted to go home at this point. My midwife comes around 7am and she started telling me she thinks I’m developing post partum psychosis… I was livid. She started to ask me if I’m hearing voices if I want to hurt my baby or myself. I told her no, she knows I always wanted this baby, I came to her when I had a miscarriage in my first pregnancy. She said she’s afraid because I’m not sleeping and she doesn’t feel comfortable with me going home. I told her well how can I sleep when nurses keep coming in every freaking hour, and my baby keeps crying because he can’t stand being alone in his bassinet. I’m so disappointed because the more I think about it the more awkward and depressing those 3 days I spent in the hospital were, I couldn’t even be happy for one second because of they were acting towards me and my boyfriend.
submitted by unknownuser123lo to pregnancyproblems [link] [comments]
2024.06.08 19:27 ConsciousRun6137 The Serpent People Return to Ukraine
 | https://preview.redd.it/34zubhsxtd5d1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=ab8d051fe0d28cbd9fd28614850a8982aaf797ba submitted by ConsciousRun6137 to u/ConsciousRun6137 [link] [comments] This article was written prior to the Russian-Ukraine War, but gives historical insight into what’s at play today. DNA Science, Ukraine, and a Second Jewish Homeland“Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?” — Jesus Christ, Matthew 23:33“We have journeyed to the center of the world and landed in the belly of the serpent.” — Rabbi Joel Bakst, “Journey to the Center of the Torah,” www.chazantorah.org, 2007 Everything is coming together. DNA Science has torn back the curtains of time and revealed the Serpent and his people. The ones we today call “Jews” are the very disciples of the evil entity whom the Bible describes as, “that old serpent, the devil.” The Bible verse is referring to Lucifer the Devil – Rev. 12:9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the WHOLE world: he was cast out to the Earth, and his angels (you – Luke 9:55) were cast out with him (Matt. 25:41). From the early centuries of the first millennia, the Khazars of Eastern Europe were known as the diabolical “Serpent People,” and now, the nation of Israel has admitted that its people are indeed, the Khazars. The admission by the Israelis that the Jews are not related to ancient Israel but to Khazaria was reported in The Times of Israel (Leaked Report: Israel Acknowledges Jews in fact Khazars; Secret Plan for Reverse Migration to Ukraine, March 18, 2014). That article, by Professor Jim Wald, related that the Israeli leadership in Jerusalem is sending military equipment and settlers from Israel to Ukraine. The Jews have taken charge of that ravaged country’s government and finances and intend eventually to make the Ukraine a “second homeland” for the Jews. Their plan, leaked by governmental insiders, came only after Netanyahu and his cabinet reviewed growing DNA genetic evidence that the Jews are not the descendants of Abraham. Instead, they came from Khazaria, of which Kiev, Ukraine is the centerpiece. In fact, the Jews of Israel and the U.S. are of Ukrainian heritage. Ukraine is in the heartland of Khazaria. https://preview.redd.it/4rmpq934ud5d1.png?width=930&format=png&auto=webp&s=38516d2e53a55125891dac4426a03512443a4708 Back to KhazariaThe rabbis teach that in the eighth century, the entire nation of Khazaria converted to the Talmud (Matt. 15:6) and to kabbalistic Judaism. Adopting the sordid, but occultly revealing, sex symbol of the six-pointed star, the pagan Khazars, known for centuries as the “Serpent People,” battled against both Christians and Islamists. Later, as converted “Jews” they migrated to Poland and Eastern Europe. Today they are found mostly in the U.S.A. and in Israel.DNA Science has today confirmed this Khazar lineage of the Jews. I document the Khazar bloodline heritage in my definitive book, DNA Science and the Jewish Bloodline. The Illuminati and The Council on Foreign Relations One-World-Government Conspiracy and The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion – The Khazar Jews, or Eastern Jews, were an ancient warrior race of Turkish (Edomite / Idumean – Esau) origin who had interbred with the Ashkenazim and converted to Judaism en masse at the end of the 8th century. They were conquered by the native Russians and the mass of Khazars remained in Russia under their own closely-knit Talmudic government. They ghettoised themselves and lived under strict Talmudic Law, segregating themselves as far as possible from their host nation, except in the areas of occupation which could be used to carry out the Talmudic edicts to profit from their host. The Khazars, identified in Revelation 2 and 3 as the wicked “Synagogue of Satan,” (Rev. 2:9; Rev. 3:9) are further identified in Ezekiel 38 and 39 prophetically as the people of Gog, from the land of Magog. Prophecy clearly tells us that this warlike serpentine people shall invade and conquer Israel first, then go on to plunge the entire planet into chaos and warfare (Rev. 20:8). From Khazaria to Israel, and back to Khazaria (Ukraine) is Israel’s secret plan. After suppressing the Ukraine nation, the Jewish conquests will continue until the Jews achieve their New World Order. The AshkeNAZI Synagogue of Satan Explained. – No-one will EVER understand world history and what is happening now, unless they learn and understand that the NAZIs are actually AshkeNAZI counterfeit-Jews who have, through their banksterism and Rothschild national central banks, gained control of most governments of the world, by buying (bribing) traitorous politicians, like Arthur Balfour (author of “The Balfour Declaration”), to enact legislation to “legalise” their plans against the politicians’ own nations, in contravention of God’s Law, whilst THEY claim falsely to be God’s Chosen People, because, in reality, God hates them. Domination of AmericaIn 2007, American political science professors James Petras, John Mearsheimer and Stephen Walt reached the conclusion that America’s foreign policy is now dominated by the Israel Lobby. The Jews do this through their powerful monied groups, AIPAC, the ADL, and the AJC. They control both the Republican and the Democrat Parties, and the White House does their bidding. That bidding includes the conquest of Ukraine.U.S. Foreign Policy: The Ukrainian Factor – The build-up, arming and funding of the Ukrainian military by the United States, and the attacks in the Donbas region were orchestrated to get Russia out of Syria while, at the same time, to get the Christian people of Ukraine out of Ukraine, by genocide using them as cannon-fodder, and causing mass-emigration by people fleeing the slaughter. But, how did the Jews come to acknowledge their Khazarian bloodline link? Professor Jim Wald notes in The Times of Israel: “The surprising turn of events had an even more surprising origin: Genetics, a field in which Israeli scholars have long excelled. “It is well known that sometime in the eighth and ninth centuries, the Khazars, a warlike Turkic people, converted to Judaism and ruled over a vast domain in what became southern Russia and Ukraine. What happened to them after the Russians destroyed that empire around the eleventh century has become a mystery. Many have speculated that the Khazars became the ancestors of Ashkenazi Jews. “During the U.N. debate over Palestine’s partition, Chaim Weizman responded… ‘It is very strange. All my life I have been a Jew, felt like a Jew, and I now learn that I am a Khazar.’” https://preview.redd.it/1mppmzl6ud5d1.png?width=1536&format=png&auto=webp&s=9ef22ecd19cb305e4be27076093208a603dc7624 A Blue-Ribbon Team of ScholarsThe 2012 genetic discoveries by Dr. Eran Elhaik of the prestigious Johns Hopkins Medical University, that the Jews are not of ancient Israel but originated in Khazaria, stunned the Israelis. It has now been followed by other high-level scientific research. Wald reports that, “a blueribbon team of scholars from leading research institutions and museums” was then appointed to study the DNA.These authorities, said Wald, “issued a secret report to the government acknowledging the fact that European Jews are in fact Khazars.” The Ukraine Solution: Two Jewish HomelandsA Blue-Ribbon Team of ScholarsThe 2012 genetic discoveries by Dr. Eran Elhaik of the prestigious Johns Hopkins Medical University, that the Jews are not of ancient Israel but originated in Khazaria, stunned the Israelis. It has now been followed by other high-level scientific research. Wald reports that, “a blueribbon team of scholars from leading research institutions and museums” was then appointed to study the DNA. These authorities, said Wald, “issued a secret report to the government acknowledging the fact that European Jews are in fact Khazars.” The Ukraine Solution: Two Jewish HomelandsA blue-ribbon committee of scientists reviewed the DNA and other evidence and told the Israeli government that, indeed, the Jews are of the Khazarian bloodline. Prime Minister Netanyahu has secretly decided to settle Jews in Ukraine, and infuse that country with military and intelligence officials. In essence, the Jews will make Ukraine, centerpiece of ancient Khazaria, a second homeland for the Jews.At first, this result was deemed unhappy, even ominous, but, says Wald, Prime Minister Netanyahu and his advisors surprised us by bringing in their “Ukraine Solution.” Some Jewish settlers would leave Israel and return to Ukraine. This resettling into Ukraine would take time, for reasons of logistics and economics. The end result, however, would be two Jewish homelands, Israel and Ukraine. “We’re not talking about all the Ashkenazi Jews going back to Ukraine,” explained a well-placed source in intelligence circles, “obviously this is not practical.” Wald calls this solution “Khazaria 2.0.” “All Jews will be welcomed back to Ukraine without condition as citizens.” What’s more, the Israeli government promises an “infusion of massive Israeli military assistance” to Ukraine, “including troops, equipment, and construction of new bases.” “If the initial transfer works, other West Bank settlers would be encouraged to relocate to Ukraine as well.” In effect, Ukraine is to become an “autonomous Jewish domain,” a small-scale successor to the medieval empire of Khazaria… It would be called, in Yiddish, Chazerai. “By lining up with the Syrian rebels and Ukraine, as well as Georgia and Azerbaijan” (also part of the ancient Khazarian territory), one source explains, Netanyahu “puts pressure on both Syria and Russia.” A Mathematical Bible Code – But near Megiddo, hidden from tourists, is one of Israel’s most important Air-Force bases, Ramat David. It is in the North, facing Israel’s implacable foe, Syria. It would be on the front line of any real war in the modern Middle East. … The name of the actual site of the long-prophesied Final Battle appears with his name in a single skip sequence: ‘Armageddon, Asad holocaust.’ ‘Syria’ is encoded with ‘world war’. It is the country that stands out, because it is not expected*. ‘Russia’ and ‘China’ and ‘USA’ also appear with ‘world war’ but they are the three superpowers most likely to be involved. Syria is the surprise. Israel and U.S. Stage a Bloody Coup in UkrainePetro Poroshenko, President of Ukraine (2014-2019), is Jewish. The Jews, with U.S. support and manipulation, now control Ukraine and are busy murdering Ukranians and setting up concentration camps. Israel plans to make Ukraine a second Jewish homeland. Currently, a meager 0.2 percent of Ukraine is made up of Jews, but the Jewish minority took over the USSR and massacred 66 million people! (In 2019, he was defeated by Volodymyr Zelenskyy who is also Jewish).Thus, we understand the current Ukraine political mess. The Jews launched the quest for their new Ukrainian homeland. They have support from the United States, as witness — the Jewish diplomat, Victoria Nuland, of the State Department. The U.S. is warning Vladimir Putin to keep a distance from Ukraine and to relinquish Russia’s historic ties to that nation, now ruled by Israel. The constitutionally elected Ukrainian President, Yanukovych, was overthrown last year by the U.S. and Israel, with the CIA and the Mossad both deeply involved. A Jewish billionaire, Petro Poroshenko, was quickly installed as President. Jewish money and military might is constantly being flown into Ukraine. Ukrainian Christians (not Jews!) are being slaughtered. Genocide is underway. All property is being appropriated by Jewish oligarchs. The Israelis learned in Turkey (1905), the Soviet Union (1917)(Rev. 11:7), and Palestine (1948)(Matt. 24:32) how to work as a corrupt and calculating “minority” to dominate a larger, gentile majority. Pity the Ukranian PeopleWe should all feel great pity and sorrow for the suffering Ukrainian people. They are being massacred and oppressed by the arrogant Zionist Jews who have, with America’s help, now become the “slave masters of Ukraine.” Even the concentration camps have been reopened and are filling up with native Ukrainians.Israel’s oligarchs, under Poroshenko’s iron hand, are dividing up the spoils of their Ukrainian takeover. The economy is falling—it has sank to only forty percent of its pre-2013 level. Israel is stealing natural gas and oil from the destabilized Middle East and selling it for huge profits to energy-starved Ukraine. Everything will change. This is the greatest tragedy since the Satanic Khazars invaded peaceful, unarmed Palestine in 1948, killing and battering the Palestinians and driving hundreds of thousands into desert refugee camps. Americans are oblivious to the horror their Administration is causing the Ukraine people. But God knows. He sees. He feels. We have sowed the wind. Now we shall reap the whirlwind. |
2024.06.08 19:25 Carina_Nichole Best tolerated supps and meds/ and non internal things to help MCAS
Can anyone share any of the following:
Best tolerated vit C supplement (looking at maybe pure power form freeze dried from acerola cherries?) or? Since this won’t have fillers…
Best tolerated antihistamines looking more natural route all other meds make me react like can’t breathe even more or have dizziness and can’t stay awake like in a scary way and can’t function?
Best tolerated antibiotic like if someone had an upper respiratory infection (I’m allergic to sulfa antibiotics and reacted to azithromycin z pack and scared to try others anymore and haven’t got 5 years but god Forbid I needed something anyone tolerate something that doesn’t cause major mast cell flare?)
Best tolerated natural or bio identical to balance hormones as they is killing my MCAS female age 33 and I am testing Dutch hormones but suspect high estrogen as I just came off birth control 3 months ago the struggle is beyond real) I feel like my multiple chemical sensitivities got worse on the birth control but now getting off of it after five years I feel like they’re even more so heightened I don’t know how to properly balance my hormones and I don’t want a bunch of synthetic hormones, etc. that caused cancer and that would trigger more issues.
Too scared to try quercetin right now as my blood pressure is low and I’ve heard it tends to make it drop quite a bit, but I also noticed that I can’t tolerate certain things like even black pepper which someone said on here is high and salicylates so I think I have issues with that. I am starting to lose it with how to just calm the mast cells…
I would love to hear about people who have calm and stabilize the mass cells and nervous system without internally, taking any supplements or pharmaceuticals, whether natural herbs, etc. I’m trying to look for some other modalities that help without having to put anything into the body has anyone had help with red light therapy or Epson salt baths or cold ice baths or showering from hot to cold water or different nervous system programs , there has to be some other way beyond putting things into our body that can help?
Thank you for any input suffering for 11 years over here and thought it was just from past mold and Lyme but now realizing it’s been MCAS as well and that those symptoms started long prior to that also when I get nervous or even talk about something that is a trigger for me my whole chest breaks out into red hives. They don’t itch. I won’t even know they’re there unless someone tells me while your entire chest is covered in hives. Does anyone else get that? MCAS is a crazy chronic illness to say the least… I am sorry for all those suffering
submitted by Carina_Nichole to MCAS [link] [comments]
Best tolerated vit C supplement (looking at maybe pure power form freeze dried from acerola cherries?) or? Since this won’t have fillers…
Best tolerated antihistamines looking more natural route all other meds make me react like can’t breathe even more or have dizziness and can’t stay awake like in a scary way and can’t function?
Best tolerated antibiotic like if someone had an upper respiratory infection (I’m allergic to sulfa antibiotics and reacted to azithromycin z pack and scared to try others anymore and haven’t got 5 years but god Forbid I needed something anyone tolerate something that doesn’t cause major mast cell flare?)
Best tolerated natural or bio identical to balance hormones as they is killing my MCAS female age 33 and I am testing Dutch hormones but suspect high estrogen as I just came off birth control 3 months ago the struggle is beyond real) I feel like my multiple chemical sensitivities got worse on the birth control but now getting off of it after five years I feel like they’re even more so heightened I don’t know how to properly balance my hormones and I don’t want a bunch of synthetic hormones, etc. that caused cancer and that would trigger more issues.
Too scared to try quercetin right now as my blood pressure is low and I’ve heard it tends to make it drop quite a bit, but I also noticed that I can’t tolerate certain things like even black pepper which someone said on here is high and salicylates so I think I have issues with that. I am starting to lose it with how to just calm the mast cells…
I would love to hear about people who have calm and stabilize the mass cells and nervous system without internally, taking any supplements or pharmaceuticals, whether natural herbs, etc. I’m trying to look for some other modalities that help without having to put anything into the body has anyone had help with red light therapy or Epson salt baths or cold ice baths or showering from hot to cold water or different nervous system programs , there has to be some other way beyond putting things into our body that can help?
Thank you for any input suffering for 11 years over here and thought it was just from past mold and Lyme but now realizing it’s been MCAS as well and that those symptoms started long prior to that also when I get nervous or even talk about something that is a trigger for me my whole chest breaks out into red hives. They don’t itch. I won’t even know they’re there unless someone tells me while your entire chest is covered in hives. Does anyone else get that? MCAS is a crazy chronic illness to say the least… I am sorry for all those suffering
2024.06.08 18:52 AdEducational4541 I have one F on my HS transcript in Honors Precalculus, am I hopeless for college?
Hi! I'm currently a Junior in highschool and I recently received a 59% in my math course for Honors Precalc. The first semester I had a high C in the class as it was very new and difficult for me especially as a math course since math isn't my best skill but I did my best to push through this new challenge. The teacher is very nice and is an amazing person, but even though this class was labeled Honors Precalc, it was taught at an AP level so the curriculum was very fast and highly demanding.
I recently found out near the beginning of this semester I have severe anemia after fainting in my 3rd period biotech class so I had to miss school for multiple doctors visits as I constantly would get very sick to the point where I could barely stand up and would constantly vomit every morning after I tried eating something. Two of my very close family members also have passed away this semester so home life wasn't very great for me at this time either.
Though I really didn't want to use my situation as an excuse, I still really tried my best in all my classes but in the end I still wasn't able get a good grade in precalculus which made me really disappointed in myself. My counselor had mentioned that I could take the course online over the summer and if I get an A it will also be added into my transcript next to the F. I still want to try hard and get an A on this class over the summer so I can understand the material that I didn't get during the school year too. Mainly I have been feeling down because of my grade and I also did some research and a lot of people mentioned that when a college sees an F on your transcript they won't even look at your application and it will be discarded so that really scared me.
(I also wasn't able to stay for tutoring due to my circumstances and my home was also very far from school so it would be around 9:00 by the time I get home from tutoring. The trigonometry unit & graphings was a topic I had really struggled with which I didn't do the best in and my grade dropped from there on) My overall grades over the years aren't the best I'd say, to me they are moderate I would get a few C's here and there but mostly A's and B's.
Junior year I'm currently taking Honors Precalc, AP Lang, AP Chem, Biotech (STARR & EHA Prog Also part of one of my extracurriculars), Honors U.S. History, Theatre, & Counseling 1 (College Course dual enrollment)
College Courses I have taken: (Alg 2 over the summer so I can move up in math) Intermediate Alg 125, grade: A, (for art credit req. got it done over the summer) Intro to ART, grade: A, (Seemed like an interesting class so I took it in the mornings during spring sem) Counseling 1, grade: A
Overall gpa: 3.62
UC Gpa: 3.4
Extracurriculars over the years: (Added lengthy explanations for each sorry for the overwriting)
1. Cross Country 9-10th After school practices weekly from 6th period - 5:30 & running everyday. Every Thursday’s compete with other high school 3 mile races & sometimes invitationals and Saturday practices at Griffith Park 8am-12pm Long Run.
2. International PEN PAL school club 11-12th Founder of an international pen pals club at school with 30 current official members and we connect with students their age internationally ex. Estonia, Morocco, France, Italy, Turkey, Korea, Japan etc. & we do paper letter sending and online letters and we also are planning on a partnership ongoing starting a summer + yearlong program for connecting to students in Spain & Japan for committed students that sign up, we will connect that with Let’s Talk.
3. Let’s Talk -- Pen Pal Partner Org. 11-12th (Founded too) This part of our club is a partner non profit org where its an online organization that focuses on aspects on mental health we will soon launch this as we are taking preparations. Here we have weekly blogs, padlets, and discussion sessions, interviews with multiple people from different schools, podcasts and also plan small in person events with potential guest speakers or have club events/activities like counseling and meeting others just like you creating a safe place to talk about yourself and situations that you can't normally talk about easily so you can share your stories to a supportive non-judgemental groups. (The launch for this will be mid summer possibly if everything works out well).
4. LAPL Library volunteering summer session - 10th Computer work (deleting books/answering calls)Book Shelving/ Book ordering/ Book reviewsHelping out in children's events & General Errands, 50+ hours
5. HOSA & STARR EHA Biotechnology Program - 11th-12th HOSA is a healthcare organization for students to participate in (Our School only open to students in the biotech program to learn more about being a healthcare professional and professions in that field. I got a certificate for active continuous participation in the club and also a certificate for competing in a speech competition and winning regionals going to compete in state. The STARR & EHA Biotechnology Program is a two year program that I'm currently part of in which we have to take the course "Biotech" mentioned above which is a rigorous course where we train for second year in which we will be working in a lab at USC helping with real current research. Three years of training is pushed into a single year of the Biotech course to get us prepared to see if we will be selected to move onto second year. We learned a variety of topics and had modules on them in which we earned certificates if we did well such as Stem Cell CIRM Module from Pasadena city college (earned certificate), Data Science (USC Viterbi), CTSI Clinical Health module etc. so we constantly did work, certifications, projects and more. Recently, I have also been selected to continue onto second year to work in the labs at USC with current researchers (Will also earn a stipend for that to ~$1,000 - $1,200) so I'm really exited for that.
6. USC Viterbi Neuroscience summer Research Program 10th Has one session every week for about one month, Guest Speakers, Lessons, Project Prep. Teaches about neuroscience and has us do a research project and present in front of professors, USC students etc. (Online at that time due to covid restrictions) Earned Certificate of Completion and full participation
7. Theater--Hall of Horrors & Spring Play 11th Play a character - Tom Snout and help with preparation stage design in the Midsummer nights dream play by Shakespeare and will be the first official school wide play at Bravo will be April 25, 2024. Participated in hall of horrors as an actor plus preparation plus hall design. (Used this opportunity to challenge my social anxiety and stage fright and also be part of stage design so I could draw backgrounds and make props along with being part of a live play which has always been a childhood dream of mine even though it sounds silly)
8. BMP@USC - Student to Student Mentorship Program 11th In this program we had to apply through an application and after getting in we are put in groups and assigned to 2-3 mentors that you will meet with every month for sessions regarding medical professions and the healthcare field. We get to meet doctors, professors, and even have guest speakers as well along with hands on practice using medical equipment such as a blood pressure machine, stethoscope, and how to properly give vaccines!
9. PUENTE Summer Career Academy 11th Explored career interests by learning about the ever-shifting workforce, seized opportunities, and cultivate a supportive network, propelling towards success in my next college and career goals. Incentives: At the end of the program, students will receive a $200 stipend for their participation and commitment (Have to prepare a project in those five weeks and present at the end).Four week long summer program in which students learn about various career fields, connect with industry professionals, and begin to prepare for their future.
10. Summer Bridge Leader 11th Student Bridge Leaders (SBLs) are students who undergo training to facilitate team-building activities for our incoming students. They operate under the guidance of a certified staff member. As mentors, student leaders provide support for group projects throughout the program. SBLs can earn volunteer-service hours for their leadership contributions. Applications are open to current 11th-grade students interested in serving as either volunteers or student workers. Both roles carry equal responsibilities as Summer Bridge Leaders. Was recently accepted for being one of the summer bridge leader from a large applicant pool, will start in summer.
11. Chemistry Olympiad 10th grade Spent a lot of time aside schoolwork studying for this official chemistry exam competition. I scored the highest among all first year chemistry students in regionals on that exam so I won a certificate for it.
12. Part Time Job (Not enough info yet since I'm recently starting but will add)
13. Pfizer High School Student Hospital Volunteer (Not enough info yet since I'm recently starting but will add)
These are some of my main extracurriculars, there were a few more but they were not as important and pretty much only hobbies.
I really wanted to give a sort of an idea of my whole academic and extracurricular profile to see what other people would think about this. I feel like from my position currently, even if I don't get into the best college or even any college at all I wouldn't regret anything I did in high school because it really helped me learn and grow as a person and all my extracurriculars I did and am doing are purely only from my own self interests. I will accept any harsh criticism since I'm very aware these days the competition for colleges are very high and there are many bright students out there who do so much more and are more accomplished.
I just wanted to have an idea of where I would lie in terms of college apps and if I stand a chance?
submitted by AdEducational4541 to highschool [link] [comments]
I recently found out near the beginning of this semester I have severe anemia after fainting in my 3rd period biotech class so I had to miss school for multiple doctors visits as I constantly would get very sick to the point where I could barely stand up and would constantly vomit every morning after I tried eating something. Two of my very close family members also have passed away this semester so home life wasn't very great for me at this time either.
Though I really didn't want to use my situation as an excuse, I still really tried my best in all my classes but in the end I still wasn't able get a good grade in precalculus which made me really disappointed in myself. My counselor had mentioned that I could take the course online over the summer and if I get an A it will also be added into my transcript next to the F. I still want to try hard and get an A on this class over the summer so I can understand the material that I didn't get during the school year too. Mainly I have been feeling down because of my grade and I also did some research and a lot of people mentioned that when a college sees an F on your transcript they won't even look at your application and it will be discarded so that really scared me.
(I also wasn't able to stay for tutoring due to my circumstances and my home was also very far from school so it would be around 9:00 by the time I get home from tutoring. The trigonometry unit & graphings was a topic I had really struggled with which I didn't do the best in and my grade dropped from there on) My overall grades over the years aren't the best I'd say, to me they are moderate I would get a few C's here and there but mostly A's and B's.
Junior year I'm currently taking Honors Precalc, AP Lang, AP Chem, Biotech (STARR & EHA Prog Also part of one of my extracurriculars), Honors U.S. History, Theatre, & Counseling 1 (College Course dual enrollment)
College Courses I have taken: (Alg 2 over the summer so I can move up in math) Intermediate Alg 125, grade: A, (for art credit req. got it done over the summer) Intro to ART, grade: A, (Seemed like an interesting class so I took it in the mornings during spring sem) Counseling 1, grade: A
Overall gpa: 3.62
UC Gpa: 3.4
Extracurriculars over the years: (Added lengthy explanations for each sorry for the overwriting)
1. Cross Country 9-10th After school practices weekly from 6th period - 5:30 & running everyday. Every Thursday’s compete with other high school 3 mile races & sometimes invitationals and Saturday practices at Griffith Park 8am-12pm Long Run.
2. International PEN PAL school club 11-12th Founder of an international pen pals club at school with 30 current official members and we connect with students their age internationally ex. Estonia, Morocco, France, Italy, Turkey, Korea, Japan etc. & we do paper letter sending and online letters and we also are planning on a partnership ongoing starting a summer + yearlong program for connecting to students in Spain & Japan for committed students that sign up, we will connect that with Let’s Talk.
3. Let’s Talk -- Pen Pal Partner Org. 11-12th (Founded too) This part of our club is a partner non profit org where its an online organization that focuses on aspects on mental health we will soon launch this as we are taking preparations. Here we have weekly blogs, padlets, and discussion sessions, interviews with multiple people from different schools, podcasts and also plan small in person events with potential guest speakers or have club events/activities like counseling and meeting others just like you creating a safe place to talk about yourself and situations that you can't normally talk about easily so you can share your stories to a supportive non-judgemental groups. (The launch for this will be mid summer possibly if everything works out well).
4. LAPL Library volunteering summer session - 10th Computer work (deleting books/answering calls)Book Shelving/ Book ordering/ Book reviewsHelping out in children's events & General Errands, 50+ hours
5. HOSA & STARR EHA Biotechnology Program - 11th-12th HOSA is a healthcare organization for students to participate in (Our School only open to students in the biotech program to learn more about being a healthcare professional and professions in that field. I got a certificate for active continuous participation in the club and also a certificate for competing in a speech competition and winning regionals going to compete in state. The STARR & EHA Biotechnology Program is a two year program that I'm currently part of in which we have to take the course "Biotech" mentioned above which is a rigorous course where we train for second year in which we will be working in a lab at USC helping with real current research. Three years of training is pushed into a single year of the Biotech course to get us prepared to see if we will be selected to move onto second year. We learned a variety of topics and had modules on them in which we earned certificates if we did well such as Stem Cell CIRM Module from Pasadena city college (earned certificate), Data Science (USC Viterbi), CTSI Clinical Health module etc. so we constantly did work, certifications, projects and more. Recently, I have also been selected to continue onto second year to work in the labs at USC with current researchers (Will also earn a stipend for that to ~$1,000 - $1,200) so I'm really exited for that.
6. USC Viterbi Neuroscience summer Research Program 10th Has one session every week for about one month, Guest Speakers, Lessons, Project Prep. Teaches about neuroscience and has us do a research project and present in front of professors, USC students etc. (Online at that time due to covid restrictions) Earned Certificate of Completion and full participation
7. Theater--Hall of Horrors & Spring Play 11th Play a character - Tom Snout and help with preparation stage design in the Midsummer nights dream play by Shakespeare and will be the first official school wide play at Bravo will be April 25, 2024. Participated in hall of horrors as an actor plus preparation plus hall design. (Used this opportunity to challenge my social anxiety and stage fright and also be part of stage design so I could draw backgrounds and make props along with being part of a live play which has always been a childhood dream of mine even though it sounds silly)
8. BMP@USC - Student to Student Mentorship Program 11th In this program we had to apply through an application and after getting in we are put in groups and assigned to 2-3 mentors that you will meet with every month for sessions regarding medical professions and the healthcare field. We get to meet doctors, professors, and even have guest speakers as well along with hands on practice using medical equipment such as a blood pressure machine, stethoscope, and how to properly give vaccines!
9. PUENTE Summer Career Academy 11th Explored career interests by learning about the ever-shifting workforce, seized opportunities, and cultivate a supportive network, propelling towards success in my next college and career goals. Incentives: At the end of the program, students will receive a $200 stipend for their participation and commitment (Have to prepare a project in those five weeks and present at the end).Four week long summer program in which students learn about various career fields, connect with industry professionals, and begin to prepare for their future.
10. Summer Bridge Leader 11th Student Bridge Leaders (SBLs) are students who undergo training to facilitate team-building activities for our incoming students. They operate under the guidance of a certified staff member. As mentors, student leaders provide support for group projects throughout the program. SBLs can earn volunteer-service hours for their leadership contributions. Applications are open to current 11th-grade students interested in serving as either volunteers or student workers. Both roles carry equal responsibilities as Summer Bridge Leaders. Was recently accepted for being one of the summer bridge leader from a large applicant pool, will start in summer.
11. Chemistry Olympiad 10th grade Spent a lot of time aside schoolwork studying for this official chemistry exam competition. I scored the highest among all first year chemistry students in regionals on that exam so I won a certificate for it.
12. Part Time Job (Not enough info yet since I'm recently starting but will add)
13. Pfizer High School Student Hospital Volunteer (Not enough info yet since I'm recently starting but will add)
These are some of my main extracurriculars, there were a few more but they were not as important and pretty much only hobbies.
I really wanted to give a sort of an idea of my whole academic and extracurricular profile to see what other people would think about this. I feel like from my position currently, even if I don't get into the best college or even any college at all I wouldn't regret anything I did in high school because it really helped me learn and grow as a person and all my extracurriculars I did and am doing are purely only from my own self interests. I will accept any harsh criticism since I'm very aware these days the competition for colleges are very high and there are many bright students out there who do so much more and are more accomplished.
I just wanted to have an idea of where I would lie in terms of college apps and if I stand a chance?
2024.06.08 18:42 AdEducational4541 I have one F on my HS transcript in Honors Precalculus, am I hopeless for college?
Hi! I'm currently a Junior in highschool and I recently received a 59% in my math course for Honors Precalc. The first semester I had a high C in the class as it was very new and difficult for me especially as a math course since math isn't my best skill but I did my best to push through this new challenge. The teacher is very nice and is an amazing person, but even though this class was labeled Honors Precalc, it was taught at an AP level so the curriculum was very fast and highly demanding.
I recently found out near the beginning of this semester I have severe anemia after fainting in my 3rd period biotech class so I had to miss school for multiple doctors visits as I constantly would get very sick to the point where I could barely stand up and would constantly vomit every morning after I tried eating something. Two of my very close family members also have passed away this semester so home life wasn't very great for me at this time either.
Though I really didn't want to use my situation as an excuse, I still really tried my best in all my classes but in the end I still wasn't able get a good grade in precalculus which made me really disappointed in myself. My counselor had mentioned that I could take the course online over the summer and if I get an A it will also be added into my transcript next to the F. I still want to try hard and get an A on this class over the summer so I can understand the material that I didn't get during the school year too. Mainly I have been feeling down because of my grade and I also did some research and a lot of people mentioned that when a college sees an F on your transcript they won't even look at your application and it will be discarded so that really scared me.
(I also wasn't able to stay for tutoring due to my circumstances and my home was also very far from school so it would be around 9:00 by the time I get home from tutoring. The trigonometry unit & graphings was a topic I had really struggled with which I didn't do the best in and my grade dropped from there on) My overall grades over the years aren't the best I'd say, to me they are moderate I would get a few C's here and there but mostly A's and B's.
Junior year I'm currently taking Honors Precalc, AP Lang, AP Chem, Biotech (STARR & EHA Prog Also part of one of my extracurriculars), Honors U.S. History, Theatre, & Counseling 1 (College Course dual enrollment)
College Courses I have taken: (Alg 2 over the summer so I can move up in math) Intermediate Alg 125, grade: A, (for art credit req. got it done over the summer) Intro to ART, grade: A, (Seemed like an interesting class so I took it in the mornings during spring sem) Counseling 1, grade: A
Overall gpa: 3.62
UC Gpa: 3.4
Extracurriculars over the years: (Added lengthy explanations for each sorry for the overwriting)
1. Cross Country 9-10th After school practices weekly from 6th period - 5:30 & running everyday. Every Thursday’s compete with other high school 3 mile races & sometimes invitationals and Saturday practices at Griffith Park 8am-12pm Long Run.
2. International PEN PAL school club 11-12th Founder of an international pen pals club at school with 30 current official members and we connect with students their age internationally ex. Estonia, Morocco, France, Italy, Turkey, Korea, Japan etc. & we do paper letter sending and online letters and we also are planning on a partnership ongoing starting a summer + yearlong program for connecting to students in Spain & Japan for committed students that sign up, we will connect that with Let’s Talk.
3. Let’s Talk -- Pen Pal Partner Org. 11-12th (Founded too) This part of our club is a partner non profit org where its an online organization that focuses on aspects on mental health we will soon launch this as we are taking preparations. Here we have weekly blogs, padlets, and discussion sessions, interviews with multiple people from different schools, podcasts and also plan small in person events with potential guest speakers or have club events/activities like counseling and meeting others just like you creating a safe place to talk about yourself and situations that you can't normally talk about easily so you can share your stories to a supportive non-judgemental groups. (The launch for this will be mid summer possibly if everything works out well).
4. LAPL Library volunteering summer session - 10th Computer work (deleting books/answering calls)Book Shelving/ Book ordering/ Book reviewsHelping out in children's events & General Errands, 50+ hours
5. HOSA & STARR EHA Biotechnology Program - 11th-12th HOSA is a healthcare organization for students to participate in (Our School only open to students in the biotech program to learn more about being a healthcare professional and professions in that field. I got a certificate for active continuous participation in the club and also a certificate for competing in a speech competition and winning regionals going to compete in state. The STARR & EHA Biotechnology Program is a two year program that I'm currently part of in which we have to take the course "Biotech" mentioned above which is a rigorous course where we train for second year in which we will be working in a lab at USC helping with real current research. Three years of training is pushed into a single year of the Biotech course to get us prepared to see if we will be selected to move onto second year. We learned a variety of topics and had modules on them in which we earned certificates if we did well such as Stem Cell CIRM Module from Pasadena city college (earned certificate), Data Science (USC Viterbi), CTSI Clinical Health module etc. so we constantly did work, certifications, projects and more. Recently, I have also been selected to continue onto second year to work in the labs at USC with current researchers (Will also earn a stipend for that to ~$1,000 - $1,200) so I'm really exited for that.
6. USC Viterbi Neuroscience summer Research Program 10th Has one session every week for about one month, Guest Speakers, Lessons, Project Prep. Teaches about neuroscience and has us do a research project and present in front of professors, USC students etc. (Online at that time due to covid restrictions) Earned Certificate of Completion and full participation
7. Theater--Hall of Horrors & Spring Play 11th Play a character - Tom Snout and help with preparation stage design in the Midsummer nights dream play by Shakespeare and will be the first official school wide play at Bravo will be April 25, 2024. Participated in hall of horrors as an actor plus preparation plus hall design. (Used this opportunity to challenge my social anxiety and stage fright and also be part of stage design so I could draw backgrounds and make props along with being part of a live play which has always been a childhood dream of mine even though it sounds silly)
8. BMP@USC - Student to Student Mentorship Program 11th In this program we had to apply through an application and after getting in we are put in groups and assigned to 2-3 mentors that you will meet with every month for sessions regarding medical professions and the healthcare field. We get to meet doctors, professors, and even have guest speakers as well along with hands on practice using medical equipment such as a blood pressure machine, stethoscope, and how to properly give vaccines!
9. PUENTE Summer Career Academy 11th Explored career interests by learning about the ever-shifting workforce, seized opportunities, and cultivate a supportive network, propelling towards success in my next college and career goals. Incentives: At the end of the program, students will receive a $200 stipend for their participation and commitment (Have to prepare a project in those five weeks and present at the end).Four week long summer program in which students learn about various career fields, connect with industry professionals, and begin to prepare for their future.
10. Summer Bridge Leader 11th Student Bridge Leaders (SBLs) are students who undergo training to facilitate team-building activities for our incoming students. They operate under the guidance of a certified staff member. As mentors, student leaders provide support for group projects throughout the program. SBLs can earn volunteer-service hours for their leadership contributions. Applications are open to current 11th-grade students interested in serving as either volunteers or student workers. Both roles carry equal responsibilities as Summer Bridge Leaders. Was recently accepted for being one of the summer bridge leader from a large applicant pool, will start in summer.
11. Chemistry Olympiad 10th grade Spent a lot of time aside schoolwork studying for this official chemistry exam competition. I scored the highest among all first year chemistry students in regionals on that exam so I won a certificate for it.
12. Part Time Job (Not enough info yet since I'm recently starting but will add)
13. Pfizer High School Student Hospital Volunteer (Not enough info yet since I'm recently starting but will add)
These are some of my main extracurriculars, there were a few more but they were not as important and pretty much only hobbies.
I really wanted to give a sort of an idea of my whole academic and extracurricular profile to see what other people would think about this. I feel like from my position currently, even if I don't get into the best college or even any college at all I wouldn't regret anything I did in high school because it really helped me learn and grow as a person and all my extracurriculars I did and am doing are purely only from my own self interests. I will accept any harsh criticism since I'm very aware these days the competition for colleges are very high and there are many bright students out there who do so much more and are more accomplished. I'm just right now really freaking out so I wrote way too much.
I just wanted to have an idea of where I would lie in terms of college apps and if I stand a chance?
submitted by AdEducational4541 to ApplyingToCollege [link] [comments]
I recently found out near the beginning of this semester I have severe anemia after fainting in my 3rd period biotech class so I had to miss school for multiple doctors visits as I constantly would get very sick to the point where I could barely stand up and would constantly vomit every morning after I tried eating something. Two of my very close family members also have passed away this semester so home life wasn't very great for me at this time either.
Though I really didn't want to use my situation as an excuse, I still really tried my best in all my classes but in the end I still wasn't able get a good grade in precalculus which made me really disappointed in myself. My counselor had mentioned that I could take the course online over the summer and if I get an A it will also be added into my transcript next to the F. I still want to try hard and get an A on this class over the summer so I can understand the material that I didn't get during the school year too. Mainly I have been feeling down because of my grade and I also did some research and a lot of people mentioned that when a college sees an F on your transcript they won't even look at your application and it will be discarded so that really scared me.
(I also wasn't able to stay for tutoring due to my circumstances and my home was also very far from school so it would be around 9:00 by the time I get home from tutoring. The trigonometry unit & graphings was a topic I had really struggled with which I didn't do the best in and my grade dropped from there on) My overall grades over the years aren't the best I'd say, to me they are moderate I would get a few C's here and there but mostly A's and B's.
Junior year I'm currently taking Honors Precalc, AP Lang, AP Chem, Biotech (STARR & EHA Prog Also part of one of my extracurriculars), Honors U.S. History, Theatre, & Counseling 1 (College Course dual enrollment)
College Courses I have taken: (Alg 2 over the summer so I can move up in math) Intermediate Alg 125, grade: A, (for art credit req. got it done over the summer) Intro to ART, grade: A, (Seemed like an interesting class so I took it in the mornings during spring sem) Counseling 1, grade: A
Overall gpa: 3.62
UC Gpa: 3.4
Extracurriculars over the years: (Added lengthy explanations for each sorry for the overwriting)
1. Cross Country 9-10th After school practices weekly from 6th period - 5:30 & running everyday. Every Thursday’s compete with other high school 3 mile races & sometimes invitationals and Saturday practices at Griffith Park 8am-12pm Long Run.
2. International PEN PAL school club 11-12th Founder of an international pen pals club at school with 30 current official members and we connect with students their age internationally ex. Estonia, Morocco, France, Italy, Turkey, Korea, Japan etc. & we do paper letter sending and online letters and we also are planning on a partnership ongoing starting a summer + yearlong program for connecting to students in Spain & Japan for committed students that sign up, we will connect that with Let’s Talk.
3. Let’s Talk -- Pen Pal Partner Org. 11-12th (Founded too) This part of our club is a partner non profit org where its an online organization that focuses on aspects on mental health we will soon launch this as we are taking preparations. Here we have weekly blogs, padlets, and discussion sessions, interviews with multiple people from different schools, podcasts and also plan small in person events with potential guest speakers or have club events/activities like counseling and meeting others just like you creating a safe place to talk about yourself and situations that you can't normally talk about easily so you can share your stories to a supportive non-judgemental groups. (The launch for this will be mid summer possibly if everything works out well).
4. LAPL Library volunteering summer session - 10th Computer work (deleting books/answering calls)Book Shelving/ Book ordering/ Book reviewsHelping out in children's events & General Errands, 50+ hours
5. HOSA & STARR EHA Biotechnology Program - 11th-12th HOSA is a healthcare organization for students to participate in (Our School only open to students in the biotech program to learn more about being a healthcare professional and professions in that field. I got a certificate for active continuous participation in the club and also a certificate for competing in a speech competition and winning regionals going to compete in state. The STARR & EHA Biotechnology Program is a two year program that I'm currently part of in which we have to take the course "Biotech" mentioned above which is a rigorous course where we train for second year in which we will be working in a lab at USC helping with real current research. Three years of training is pushed into a single year of the Biotech course to get us prepared to see if we will be selected to move onto second year. We learned a variety of topics and had modules on them in which we earned certificates if we did well such as Stem Cell CIRM Module from Pasadena city college (earned certificate), Data Science (USC Viterbi), CTSI Clinical Health module etc. so we constantly did work, certifications, projects and more. Recently, I have also been selected to continue onto second year to work in the labs at USC with current researchers (Will also earn a stipend for that to ~$1,000 - $1,200) so I'm really exited for that.
6. USC Viterbi Neuroscience summer Research Program 10th Has one session every week for about one month, Guest Speakers, Lessons, Project Prep. Teaches about neuroscience and has us do a research project and present in front of professors, USC students etc. (Online at that time due to covid restrictions) Earned Certificate of Completion and full participation
7. Theater--Hall of Horrors & Spring Play 11th Play a character - Tom Snout and help with preparation stage design in the Midsummer nights dream play by Shakespeare and will be the first official school wide play at Bravo will be April 25, 2024. Participated in hall of horrors as an actor plus preparation plus hall design. (Used this opportunity to challenge my social anxiety and stage fright and also be part of stage design so I could draw backgrounds and make props along with being part of a live play which has always been a childhood dream of mine even though it sounds silly)
8. BMP@USC - Student to Student Mentorship Program 11th In this program we had to apply through an application and after getting in we are put in groups and assigned to 2-3 mentors that you will meet with every month for sessions regarding medical professions and the healthcare field. We get to meet doctors, professors, and even have guest speakers as well along with hands on practice using medical equipment such as a blood pressure machine, stethoscope, and how to properly give vaccines!
9. PUENTE Summer Career Academy 11th Explored career interests by learning about the ever-shifting workforce, seized opportunities, and cultivate a supportive network, propelling towards success in my next college and career goals. Incentives: At the end of the program, students will receive a $200 stipend for their participation and commitment (Have to prepare a project in those five weeks and present at the end).Four week long summer program in which students learn about various career fields, connect with industry professionals, and begin to prepare for their future.
10. Summer Bridge Leader 11th Student Bridge Leaders (SBLs) are students who undergo training to facilitate team-building activities for our incoming students. They operate under the guidance of a certified staff member. As mentors, student leaders provide support for group projects throughout the program. SBLs can earn volunteer-service hours for their leadership contributions. Applications are open to current 11th-grade students interested in serving as either volunteers or student workers. Both roles carry equal responsibilities as Summer Bridge Leaders. Was recently accepted for being one of the summer bridge leader from a large applicant pool, will start in summer.
11. Chemistry Olympiad 10th grade Spent a lot of time aside schoolwork studying for this official chemistry exam competition. I scored the highest among all first year chemistry students in regionals on that exam so I won a certificate for it.
12. Part Time Job (Not enough info yet since I'm recently starting but will add)
13. Pfizer High School Student Hospital Volunteer (Not enough info yet since I'm recently starting but will add)
These are some of my main extracurriculars, there were a few more but they were not as important and pretty much only hobbies.
I really wanted to give a sort of an idea of my whole academic and extracurricular profile to see what other people would think about this. I feel like from my position currently, even if I don't get into the best college or even any college at all I wouldn't regret anything I did in high school because it really helped me learn and grow as a person and all my extracurriculars I did and am doing are purely only from my own self interests. I will accept any harsh criticism since I'm very aware these days the competition for colleges are very high and there are many bright students out there who do so much more and are more accomplished. I'm just right now really freaking out so I wrote way too much.
I just wanted to have an idea of where I would lie in terms of college apps and if I stand a chance?
2024.06.08 18:41 Constantinoplian Should I consider this Lexus? 146k miles, things to look out for?
 | I currently have a BMW 528i with 115k miles and it’s already been a money pit and it’s continuing to be one. Looking to get something with a bit of horses but will last me much longer. These Lexus GS’s seem to be right up my alley, but are they reliable and worth getting even at this mileage? submitted by Constantinoplian to Lexus [link] [comments] Is this specific one a good option at 146k miles with 1 owner, no accidents, clean title and tons of vehicle history? This is a cheap car and might not actually put me underwater with my current financing on my BMW. Thanks for any opinions and info:) |
2024.06.08 18:07 JJBro1 Sudden loss of balance, blurry vision in one eye, and mild numbness on right side of body for almost the last 2 years?
This all started happening in 2022. July 3rd I (33, M) went to a theme park with some family and got on a pretty intense roller coaster after having a couple of drinks. One of my cousins missed out on the ride so I immediately got back on it for another go around. 2 days later I got up from my chair and I felt this pressure coming from the top of my head and it was so bad I had to lay down for a few minutes. Once I got back up I noticed that I started swaying back and forth from just standing still and I would have to stop myself from falling over. Didn't know what to make of it, I guess I thought it was vertigo from the roller coaster. The next month I was scheduled to go on a cruise for 2 weeks and with all the rocking on the boat I couldn't tell my symptoms apart from the boat. Once we got off I waited a few days and the balance issues returned. I went to see a doctor who just gave me vertigo pills which didn't make the problem go away. I tried to wait it out to see if it would go away on its own and after a few months it was still there. I then began to notice that my right eye started to get blurrier than my left one, especially in the morning. I also began to notice sensitivity to light which never happened before. I went to the eye doctor but they didn't see any damage in my right eye. I then began to notice a slight numbness on the right side of my body and a loss of sensitivity in my fingers when I use my trackpad on my computer. I went and got MRIs of my brain with and without contrast but nothing came up. My primary doctor then assigned me physical therapy and one of the trainers suggested that I had whiplash from the roller coaster due to my body being relaxed from the drinks and not bracing for violent movements. I did all the PT sessions my insurance would approve and the balance issues are still there. I'm now scheduled to see a neurologist next month to try and see if it's a neurological issue. What do you think is going on with me? Could it be whiplash or does this sound like something else like a blood clot? Would whiplash really give me all these symptoms after almost 2 years?
submitted by JJBro1 to DiagnoseMe [link] [comments]
2024.06.08 17:22 arekban Harmless Human Sacrifice 10
Synopsis: Markus is summoned from Earth by evil beings looking for a 'weak and primitive' creature to use as sacrificial entertainment. What they got instead was a human. Immediately after arriving, Markus awakens to an ability so rare, so powerful that it makes every god on Firellia desperate to recruit him as their new champion.
Learning to control his innate mastery over mana, Markus will devour the very essence of any monster, demon, or god that dares get in his way, determined to never lose his freedom again.
——
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Seven of the bastards. God, his luck was fucking blessed. Barely crawled out of bed and he’d been dragged here with nothing but his fists!
They didn’t charge him immediately, though. They gave him that at least. Whether intentional or not, the goblins waited for the fanfare to mount even higher, sizing him up as the announcer continued to hype Markus’ appearance, recounting the battle he’d had with the bulleater, embellishing it a little, even, all for the good of the onlookers.
He couldn’t see far into the stands so many feet above with the sun glaring down on him so fiercely, but from the sheer sound of the place, the stadium was even more packed than last time. They must’ve been making a killing on him, the primative alien that’d slain one of their monsters. Perhaps there were even more gods this time. Maybe more demons too.
It gave him a little time to formulate a plan. What was his plan, anyways? Bleed to death?
That wasn’t a plan. He could do better than that.
The tone of the announcer’s speech changed the moment he’d pulled up a digital image of Markus, projecting it on a massive screen for every spectator to see up close.
“AND WHAT IS THIS?! THE ALIEN HASN’T EVEN BROUGHT A WEAPON TO THIS BOUT! THE SHEER DISRESPECT, HE MUST THINK HE’S TOO GOOD TO NEED ONE!”
There was outrage from the stadium. Cries of anger. Boos. Markus didn’t understand it. It had sounded like they were rooting for him until now, what with how he was being talked up. Why the sudden shift?
It didn’t matter. More important things to focus on. These little monsters weren’t charging him right away. Were they intelligent? They appeared able to resist hitting him until the announcer shut up. Capable of using weapons, too.
Thankfully, they at least didn’t look too hardy. The orange-skinned creatures were around three-quarters Markus’ height, standing at maybe four and a half feet, and while one held a shield, their bodies were covered more in rags than they were in pelts, leathers, or plate. They had little scrappings of armour, looking like bits that they might’ve scavanged and put together themselves, a shoddy, patchwork attempt at defenses.
One in the back didn’t even seem to have a weapon. Had they just grabbed these seven from a cave somewhere and shoved them in here with whatever they were holding at the time?
I can see why this was meant to be an easy fight. They look soft enough, and I’m taller. If I had my glaive, I could probably carve a space around me and pick them off at a distance with it, and that’s even without my powers.
He didn’t get to finish the thought. Planning was over as the announcer’s speech ended, the word ‘BEGIN’ ringing off in Markus’ ears even as the two lead goblins charged him.
Both of them swung with a sudden ferocious intensity, one wielding a short sword and the other a hand axe. Markus had nothing to block the strikes with, and immediately found himself backing up to avoid them, making space as best he could, a swordtip singing past his chin as he rapidly backpedalled through the sand to evade their strikes, struggling to maintain his balance.
They moved just as sloppily in the unfamiliar terrain, and that was the only reason his throat hadn’t been sliced just now. He needed an edge, and he needed it fast, or he was gonna get fucked. Even as he thought as much, the club-weilding goblin came charging from the side, spittle flying from his frothing mouth as he sprinted up to Markus and drove his wooden instrument directly into Markus’ tricep.
Markus howled in pain, wheeling around to punch the goblin in response, putting as much force as he could into the attack, but while he landed a punch square in the goblin’s bony jaw, he wasn’t sure who came away worse from the exchange, his hand immediately going numb.
He succeeded in staggering the creature, making him move back a step or two in a daze, but it wasn’t long before he shook it off and looked to reengage, swinging wildly and connecting with Markus’ left arm yet again. A fourth goblin was working his way around the other two, this one holding a short spear. Fifth and sixth were heading up the rear. There was a murderous gurgle coming from the mouth of the short sword holder, and he was content to poke and prod with his sword as Markus attempted to dance around the blows.
If he lost balance, he was dead. He knew that much. They’d pounce him and stab him thirty times before he could react. The only reason he wasn’t dead already is because most of the goblins were cautious enough to keep a bit of distance from him. They could see he was unarmed. They wanted to use their advantage as best they could, wear him down, close in on him and tear him apart.
And Markus was counting on just that. He had no clue how to use his new abilities, not really, and for whatever chance there was that this didn’t work, it felt like the only way to do this properly was to get them all gathered around him. To wait until every one of these creatures was solidly within his range, close enough that they felt comfortable, that they felt safe…
“Frozen Tomb.”
He spoke the words aloud, unsure if he’d be able to activate or command the new and unfamiliar skill by feeling alone, though that didn’t stop him from focussing almost entirely upon channelling his new ability, so much so that he caught a deep gash along his leg and another on his forearm from poking, prodding speartips until his mana finally began to respond…
It was like springing a venus fly trap. Ice shot out from his body with such fierce alacrity that it almost scared him, shooting from his body in every direction and blanketing each creature within his range, making each of them recoil, snarl, and hiss in discomfort as the ice hit the sand below and began to turn the area around his feet and perhaps eight feet around him in every direction directly into a solid sheet of magical ice.
Each of them had leapt back a little as soon as he’d activated the ability, immediately wary, staring at one another in fear and confusion, but when Markus didn’t advance on them, their confidence quickly regrew.
They inched in slowly, gradually, and as Markus moved in turn, he found that while each of his steps felt as smooth and easy as ever, like he was walking on a marble floor, rather than either sand or ice, the goblins seemed to be having as difficult a time as ever, each of them almost dragging their bodies forwards, looking scared they’d either slip or slide if they moved too quickly any which way.
“Yeah… you like that? Didn’t think I had tricks, did ya?”
Markus wasn’t usually one to gloat. This day had taken that from him, though. Panting, heaving where he stood, Markus searched out for the pool of mana deep within his body, feeling his energy radiating not just through his own torso but ever-so-vaguely through the long sheet of ice also. It was an extension of his energy, of his spirit. He could feel as much. Meaning, if he wanted to use this terrain to his advantage…
He picked a spot, one directly beneath the sword and axe goblins stood in front of him, the first ones to have wounded his body. He felt his desires take shape and begin to materialise in full as four crude icicles formed from the space beneath them and immediately drove themselves upwards in a spectral, flowing arc that defied gravity’s pull.
The moment the first icicle struck the axe goblin directly in the shoulder, two more smashed into the one on the right, sending him careening back.
One of the icicles flew off in another direction, apparently seeking another target. Apparently, he couldn’t control their destination, only where they spawned, and while Markus felt the mana draining from his body as he maintained his spell, he quickly seized the opportunity presented by the attack, rushing straight at the axe goblin and smashing his shoulder directly into the little cunt’s face.
He flew back, floored by Markus’ attack, and just as Markus made to stamp on his neck, something pelted him in the back of the head, and he fell straight on top of the fallen goblin, unintentionally pinning the creature.
Markus felt stunned, mind reeling, his thoughts fragmenting into splinters that sat firmly beyond a woolen haze.
Did one of them have a projectile of some sort? Were any of them close enough to kill me yet? You don’t have time to sit here and think, you need to fucking move!
Markus shook his head with a bestial growl, whipping it around him and checking to ensure he wasn’t about to be skewered. No one else close enough yet, just him and the creature struggling below him, trying to regain a handle on its fallen axe.
Markus still felt dizzy. When he attempted to shift his body, to make to stand, his brain rejected the notion and sent him crashing straight to the floor, met with a gutteral cacophony from the spectators, only adding to the ringing of his ears, the blurring of his sight and mind alike…
He needed more energy. He needed more power. He wasn’t going to get through this otherwise.
Markus fished for the wound the icicle had made, knowing it was somewhere around the goblin’s chest. He fumbled blindly as the creature hissed beneath him, searching and searching until finally his fingers made contact with warm, slick blood.
He drove his fingers into the wound, causing the creature to howl and claw at his chest and collar with dirty, serrated claws, attempting to reach Markus’ neck.
He only needed a couple of seconds to start draining the little beast, and that was all the agony the goblin needed to push further, to bite against Markus’ side, to claw him so fiercely that it sprained and fractured its own hands in doing so, so incredibly desperate to release the pressure building within the wound as Markus continued to commandeer from the creature that which until very recently was eternally his.
He felt the effects beginning to rush into him instantly as he consumed its core. Blood, Life, and Spirit Mana, but he couldn’t tell what grades without looking. His vision was beginning to clear as his victim became increasingly still, its fragile resistance crumpling beneath him alongside its now withering body, and while Markus was pelted by yet another rock, he barely felt the impact.
The rejuvenating effects of his devouring were too potent, and while he was sure he hadn’t crested the influx of power that came with Overcharge just yet, the creature before him was starting to give out, its very essence beginning to ebb as he took from it in moments what it’d held safely within its being for its entire life.
A spear pierced his right arm as the creature beneath him gave out entirely, drawing fresh rivulets of blood and causing his muscles to spasm, but the pain was tolerable with all the new power and vitality now flowing through him.
If anything, it was helpful. A signal to react.
He rolled off of the goblin’s shrunken corpse, scrambling to his feet and attempting to go for the hand axe that laid beside its fresh corpse, but the sudden stab of a speartip made him think twice, his hand nearly skewered if only for a moment’s difference in reaction time.
One goblin down, still no weapon, and he was near to being surrounded again. The Frost Mana within his body was beginning to wane, and while he’d hoped that draining one of those little demons would be enough to get him to Overcharge, to get him to the bevy of stats it brought along with it, he’d not managed to quite cross that threshold. Now, his gambit having failed, he was pretty much back to square one, three of these things on his tail, and one had a shield.
Another rock flew past him. First time the little fucker had missed. Not only that, but where until only moments ago he’d felt the shadow of these three closing in around him, now they were noticeably more still.
A confused cry sounded from one, and soon enough was echoed between all of the others in turn. Markus realised immediately what had happened, watching as the ice solidified around the ankles of the creatures and drove directly up their bodies, partially sealing them in place.
The spell had been up a full minute. They’d all been afflicted with Freeze II for staying in the ice for an extended period.
Markus allowed himself a flicker of hope. He was going to run out of Frost Mana soon, maybe within moments, but this might’ve been the opportunity he’d so badly needed.
He seized it, grabbing the axe from the fallen goblin and easily dodging the laboured strike of the partially frozen goblin so miserably attempting to keep him from attaining the weapon.
He gripped the axe within his right hand, almost considered swapping it to his left with how much it hurt to raise his pierced arm. No. He needed power behind his strikes, and he didn’t have time to hesitate. This might cause him even more damage, but if he didn’t dispatch at least a couple more of these things before Frozen Tomb’s effect ended, he was most likely deader than dead.
Markus howled as he swung with the hand axe, putting every ounce of power into his swing as he could as he aimed for the nasty fucker who’d kept him from grabbing the weapon earlier. He drove the axe directly into the goblin’s chest, but was more than alarmed to find the creature’s body too hard to properly butcher.
The Frozen effect might’ve been making its chest more difficult to pierce, or perhaps the creature was just tougher than it looked, but either way, what should’ve been a lethal blow was merely a gnarly wound, and a second strike didn’t do the trick either.
Markus needed to do something…
He didn’t have time for an imbuement. Those took a few seconds. That being said, he had a new ability that seemed to fit just this occasion, one for when his strikes needed a bit of extra punch.
Harnessing Flame Mana was still difficult for him. He tried to push both Flame and Spirit Mana into his strike, but in the split second he’d gotten to concentrate, he only managed the latter.
Still, the difference in effects was huge. The goblin crashed backwards five feet, sliding across the ice, blood spouting from its partially caved-in chest, as all the while the five remaining onlookers stared at him with a mixture of hatred and fear in their dark, monstrous eyes…
Markus wasted no time, immediately walking over to the second goblin and repeating the process. His next swing was for the short sword goblin’s neck, and try as it might to dodge the motion, straining with all of its might, it was too slow, and Markus too powerful. He cut flesh and sinew from the disgusting creature and watched it slump to the floor like a sack of meat, the life draining from its body as it stared up in anger at the human that had bested it.
He may have found these creatures horrible and ghastly, but he understood that anger. He felt it just as strongly.
He’d been about to move on to the third goblin when suddenly the endless pull against his spirit relinquished, and what initially came as a sigh of relief to him, a feeling of weight being removed from his shoulders where previously he hadn’t realised it was even there, soon turned to a gasp of horror as he realised with a start that his Frozen Tomb had ended, and the four remaining goblins were still as fresh and healthy as ever, the ice melting away from them as they moved back into battle formations, ready to face him again.
“Oh, you can’t be serious…”
Okay, make that five goblins. The one with a fucking HOLE in its chest was scrambling and shuffling back to its feet as he spoke. It garbled something that sounded distinctly like a warcry, walking with a single-minded focus straight in his direction, intent on separating his neck from his spine.
Holy fuck… if he was getting through this shit, he was rubbing it in the face of every horrible creature he met from then on, especially Drathok. As for that imp that had put him here, he’d throw him in the arena with a gang of fucking goblins and see how he liked it, the fucking bas—
Another rock. This one hit him square in the jaw.
Markus stumbled before crashing back onto his ass. He could see the other three melee fighters getting ready to gut him, but the injured goblin was waving them away, snarling and growling at them and forcing them to acquiesce. He clearly had a score to settle, and he wanted to collect Markus’ head himself.
It’d only be seconds before he reached him. Markus was stunned; his body felt weak. He sat dazed upon the sand, his entire nervous system a collection of stinging pains, dull aches, and parts of him that he could no longer feel properly at all.
He averted his eyes from the view above, turned his ears away from the chanting of the sadistic crowd.
Was this how he died? Had he fought this hard just to accept his fate now?
No. He’d win. He’d do something. He had to do something. He still had mana in his body, if he could think of an attack to fire out quickly, if he could—
Markus’ eyes scanned his surroundings wildly as he tried and failed to get a hold of his body’s mana. He was stunlocked, too dizzy to concentrate, too anemic to spring back to his feet, and yet…
Markus noted a glint in the sand. It was subtle, but it drew his attention, as near as it was, a singular dark impression against the yellow-white sand, refracting the light of the sun directly into his eyes.
Markus gasped at what he saw laying there right to his side.
The stones… the fucking Essence Stones! He still had the Essence Stones!
Was it too late?
He plucked the darkest one from the ground beside him, knowing that one was the most potent for he’d filled it more than any other. He was sure there was enough in there to bring him to Overcharge, probably enough to heal some of his injuries, too, only…
He clutched the stone, attempting to drain the mana from it, to syphon it into his body, but with how dizzy he still was, with how much the world beat against his skull through each breath he took, he could scarcely transfer more than a few drops at a time, the connection between his consciousness and his mana pool frayed, threatening to slip away entirely at any moment…
Fuck that shit. Markus wasn’t done digging deep. He’d make every last ditch effort he could to get through this shit, and when that didn’t work, he’d go even further, find an even more ridiculous depth to dig to in order to drag his way out of the muck, for that was what it meant to fight destiny, and that was what he signed up for when he resolved to stay breathing.
Markus ate the stone without a second thought, swallowing the golf ball sized amethyst whole.
He felt a pit beneath his stomach threatening to ignite.
The goblin stared into his eyes as it brought forth its blade and swung at Markus’ shoulder…
The blade never made contact.
Markus exploded with mana, his entire body aflame, pushing the goblins back with aura alone as he rose to his aching feet, brandishing his stolen axe.
[Mana Capacity at 366%. Overcharge, E Grade is in effect. Growth increased. All physical stats temporarily increased by 75. Physical damage resistance increased.]
[Mana Poisoning II is in effect.]
//
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A/N: Hey! Thanks for reading as always! I absolutely love writing for you guys, seeing your reactions makes my day! Wishing all of you a great weekend, much love!
If you wanna help support me and this story, or you just can't wait for the next chapter, the next eight chapters of this story are available right now on my Patreon!
submitted by arekban to HFY [link] [comments]
Learning to control his innate mastery over mana, Markus will devour the very essence of any monster, demon, or god that dares get in his way, determined to never lose his freedom again.
——
First Prev Next Patreon
Seven of the bastards. God, his luck was fucking blessed. Barely crawled out of bed and he’d been dragged here with nothing but his fists!
They didn’t charge him immediately, though. They gave him that at least. Whether intentional or not, the goblins waited for the fanfare to mount even higher, sizing him up as the announcer continued to hype Markus’ appearance, recounting the battle he’d had with the bulleater, embellishing it a little, even, all for the good of the onlookers.
He couldn’t see far into the stands so many feet above with the sun glaring down on him so fiercely, but from the sheer sound of the place, the stadium was even more packed than last time. They must’ve been making a killing on him, the primative alien that’d slain one of their monsters. Perhaps there were even more gods this time. Maybe more demons too.
It gave him a little time to formulate a plan. What was his plan, anyways? Bleed to death?
That wasn’t a plan. He could do better than that.
The tone of the announcer’s speech changed the moment he’d pulled up a digital image of Markus, projecting it on a massive screen for every spectator to see up close.
“AND WHAT IS THIS?! THE ALIEN HASN’T EVEN BROUGHT A WEAPON TO THIS BOUT! THE SHEER DISRESPECT, HE MUST THINK HE’S TOO GOOD TO NEED ONE!”
There was outrage from the stadium. Cries of anger. Boos. Markus didn’t understand it. It had sounded like they were rooting for him until now, what with how he was being talked up. Why the sudden shift?
It didn’t matter. More important things to focus on. These little monsters weren’t charging him right away. Were they intelligent? They appeared able to resist hitting him until the announcer shut up. Capable of using weapons, too.
Thankfully, they at least didn’t look too hardy. The orange-skinned creatures were around three-quarters Markus’ height, standing at maybe four and a half feet, and while one held a shield, their bodies were covered more in rags than they were in pelts, leathers, or plate. They had little scrappings of armour, looking like bits that they might’ve scavanged and put together themselves, a shoddy, patchwork attempt at defenses.
One in the back didn’t even seem to have a weapon. Had they just grabbed these seven from a cave somewhere and shoved them in here with whatever they were holding at the time?
I can see why this was meant to be an easy fight. They look soft enough, and I’m taller. If I had my glaive, I could probably carve a space around me and pick them off at a distance with it, and that’s even without my powers.
He didn’t get to finish the thought. Planning was over as the announcer’s speech ended, the word ‘BEGIN’ ringing off in Markus’ ears even as the two lead goblins charged him.
Both of them swung with a sudden ferocious intensity, one wielding a short sword and the other a hand axe. Markus had nothing to block the strikes with, and immediately found himself backing up to avoid them, making space as best he could, a swordtip singing past his chin as he rapidly backpedalled through the sand to evade their strikes, struggling to maintain his balance.
They moved just as sloppily in the unfamiliar terrain, and that was the only reason his throat hadn’t been sliced just now. He needed an edge, and he needed it fast, or he was gonna get fucked. Even as he thought as much, the club-weilding goblin came charging from the side, spittle flying from his frothing mouth as he sprinted up to Markus and drove his wooden instrument directly into Markus’ tricep.
Markus howled in pain, wheeling around to punch the goblin in response, putting as much force as he could into the attack, but while he landed a punch square in the goblin’s bony jaw, he wasn’t sure who came away worse from the exchange, his hand immediately going numb.
He succeeded in staggering the creature, making him move back a step or two in a daze, but it wasn’t long before he shook it off and looked to reengage, swinging wildly and connecting with Markus’ left arm yet again. A fourth goblin was working his way around the other two, this one holding a short spear. Fifth and sixth were heading up the rear. There was a murderous gurgle coming from the mouth of the short sword holder, and he was content to poke and prod with his sword as Markus attempted to dance around the blows.
If he lost balance, he was dead. He knew that much. They’d pounce him and stab him thirty times before he could react. The only reason he wasn’t dead already is because most of the goblins were cautious enough to keep a bit of distance from him. They could see he was unarmed. They wanted to use their advantage as best they could, wear him down, close in on him and tear him apart.
And Markus was counting on just that. He had no clue how to use his new abilities, not really, and for whatever chance there was that this didn’t work, it felt like the only way to do this properly was to get them all gathered around him. To wait until every one of these creatures was solidly within his range, close enough that they felt comfortable, that they felt safe…
“Frozen Tomb.”
He spoke the words aloud, unsure if he’d be able to activate or command the new and unfamiliar skill by feeling alone, though that didn’t stop him from focussing almost entirely upon channelling his new ability, so much so that he caught a deep gash along his leg and another on his forearm from poking, prodding speartips until his mana finally began to respond…
It was like springing a venus fly trap. Ice shot out from his body with such fierce alacrity that it almost scared him, shooting from his body in every direction and blanketing each creature within his range, making each of them recoil, snarl, and hiss in discomfort as the ice hit the sand below and began to turn the area around his feet and perhaps eight feet around him in every direction directly into a solid sheet of magical ice.
Each of them had leapt back a little as soon as he’d activated the ability, immediately wary, staring at one another in fear and confusion, but when Markus didn’t advance on them, their confidence quickly regrew.
They inched in slowly, gradually, and as Markus moved in turn, he found that while each of his steps felt as smooth and easy as ever, like he was walking on a marble floor, rather than either sand or ice, the goblins seemed to be having as difficult a time as ever, each of them almost dragging their bodies forwards, looking scared they’d either slip or slide if they moved too quickly any which way.
“Yeah… you like that? Didn’t think I had tricks, did ya?”
Markus wasn’t usually one to gloat. This day had taken that from him, though. Panting, heaving where he stood, Markus searched out for the pool of mana deep within his body, feeling his energy radiating not just through his own torso but ever-so-vaguely through the long sheet of ice also. It was an extension of his energy, of his spirit. He could feel as much. Meaning, if he wanted to use this terrain to his advantage…
He picked a spot, one directly beneath the sword and axe goblins stood in front of him, the first ones to have wounded his body. He felt his desires take shape and begin to materialise in full as four crude icicles formed from the space beneath them and immediately drove themselves upwards in a spectral, flowing arc that defied gravity’s pull.
The moment the first icicle struck the axe goblin directly in the shoulder, two more smashed into the one on the right, sending him careening back.
One of the icicles flew off in another direction, apparently seeking another target. Apparently, he couldn’t control their destination, only where they spawned, and while Markus felt the mana draining from his body as he maintained his spell, he quickly seized the opportunity presented by the attack, rushing straight at the axe goblin and smashing his shoulder directly into the little cunt’s face.
He flew back, floored by Markus’ attack, and just as Markus made to stamp on his neck, something pelted him in the back of the head, and he fell straight on top of the fallen goblin, unintentionally pinning the creature.
Markus felt stunned, mind reeling, his thoughts fragmenting into splinters that sat firmly beyond a woolen haze.
Did one of them have a projectile of some sort? Were any of them close enough to kill me yet? You don’t have time to sit here and think, you need to fucking move!
Markus shook his head with a bestial growl, whipping it around him and checking to ensure he wasn’t about to be skewered. No one else close enough yet, just him and the creature struggling below him, trying to regain a handle on its fallen axe.
Markus still felt dizzy. When he attempted to shift his body, to make to stand, his brain rejected the notion and sent him crashing straight to the floor, met with a gutteral cacophony from the spectators, only adding to the ringing of his ears, the blurring of his sight and mind alike…
He needed more energy. He needed more power. He wasn’t going to get through this otherwise.
Markus fished for the wound the icicle had made, knowing it was somewhere around the goblin’s chest. He fumbled blindly as the creature hissed beneath him, searching and searching until finally his fingers made contact with warm, slick blood.
He drove his fingers into the wound, causing the creature to howl and claw at his chest and collar with dirty, serrated claws, attempting to reach Markus’ neck.
He only needed a couple of seconds to start draining the little beast, and that was all the agony the goblin needed to push further, to bite against Markus’ side, to claw him so fiercely that it sprained and fractured its own hands in doing so, so incredibly desperate to release the pressure building within the wound as Markus continued to commandeer from the creature that which until very recently was eternally his.
He felt the effects beginning to rush into him instantly as he consumed its core. Blood, Life, and Spirit Mana, but he couldn’t tell what grades without looking. His vision was beginning to clear as his victim became increasingly still, its fragile resistance crumpling beneath him alongside its now withering body, and while Markus was pelted by yet another rock, he barely felt the impact.
The rejuvenating effects of his devouring were too potent, and while he was sure he hadn’t crested the influx of power that came with Overcharge just yet, the creature before him was starting to give out, its very essence beginning to ebb as he took from it in moments what it’d held safely within its being for its entire life.
A spear pierced his right arm as the creature beneath him gave out entirely, drawing fresh rivulets of blood and causing his muscles to spasm, but the pain was tolerable with all the new power and vitality now flowing through him.
If anything, it was helpful. A signal to react.
He rolled off of the goblin’s shrunken corpse, scrambling to his feet and attempting to go for the hand axe that laid beside its fresh corpse, but the sudden stab of a speartip made him think twice, his hand nearly skewered if only for a moment’s difference in reaction time.
One goblin down, still no weapon, and he was near to being surrounded again. The Frost Mana within his body was beginning to wane, and while he’d hoped that draining one of those little demons would be enough to get him to Overcharge, to get him to the bevy of stats it brought along with it, he’d not managed to quite cross that threshold. Now, his gambit having failed, he was pretty much back to square one, three of these things on his tail, and one had a shield.
Another rock flew past him. First time the little fucker had missed. Not only that, but where until only moments ago he’d felt the shadow of these three closing in around him, now they were noticeably more still.
A confused cry sounded from one, and soon enough was echoed between all of the others in turn. Markus realised immediately what had happened, watching as the ice solidified around the ankles of the creatures and drove directly up their bodies, partially sealing them in place.
The spell had been up a full minute. They’d all been afflicted with Freeze II for staying in the ice for an extended period.
Markus allowed himself a flicker of hope. He was going to run out of Frost Mana soon, maybe within moments, but this might’ve been the opportunity he’d so badly needed.
He seized it, grabbing the axe from the fallen goblin and easily dodging the laboured strike of the partially frozen goblin so miserably attempting to keep him from attaining the weapon.
He gripped the axe within his right hand, almost considered swapping it to his left with how much it hurt to raise his pierced arm. No. He needed power behind his strikes, and he didn’t have time to hesitate. This might cause him even more damage, but if he didn’t dispatch at least a couple more of these things before Frozen Tomb’s effect ended, he was most likely deader than dead.
Markus howled as he swung with the hand axe, putting every ounce of power into his swing as he could as he aimed for the nasty fucker who’d kept him from grabbing the weapon earlier. He drove the axe directly into the goblin’s chest, but was more than alarmed to find the creature’s body too hard to properly butcher.
The Frozen effect might’ve been making its chest more difficult to pierce, or perhaps the creature was just tougher than it looked, but either way, what should’ve been a lethal blow was merely a gnarly wound, and a second strike didn’t do the trick either.
Markus needed to do something…
He didn’t have time for an imbuement. Those took a few seconds. That being said, he had a new ability that seemed to fit just this occasion, one for when his strikes needed a bit of extra punch.
Harnessing Flame Mana was still difficult for him. He tried to push both Flame and Spirit Mana into his strike, but in the split second he’d gotten to concentrate, he only managed the latter.
Still, the difference in effects was huge. The goblin crashed backwards five feet, sliding across the ice, blood spouting from its partially caved-in chest, as all the while the five remaining onlookers stared at him with a mixture of hatred and fear in their dark, monstrous eyes…
Markus wasted no time, immediately walking over to the second goblin and repeating the process. His next swing was for the short sword goblin’s neck, and try as it might to dodge the motion, straining with all of its might, it was too slow, and Markus too powerful. He cut flesh and sinew from the disgusting creature and watched it slump to the floor like a sack of meat, the life draining from its body as it stared up in anger at the human that had bested it.
He may have found these creatures horrible and ghastly, but he understood that anger. He felt it just as strongly.
He’d been about to move on to the third goblin when suddenly the endless pull against his spirit relinquished, and what initially came as a sigh of relief to him, a feeling of weight being removed from his shoulders where previously he hadn’t realised it was even there, soon turned to a gasp of horror as he realised with a start that his Frozen Tomb had ended, and the four remaining goblins were still as fresh and healthy as ever, the ice melting away from them as they moved back into battle formations, ready to face him again.
“Oh, you can’t be serious…”
Okay, make that five goblins. The one with a fucking HOLE in its chest was scrambling and shuffling back to its feet as he spoke. It garbled something that sounded distinctly like a warcry, walking with a single-minded focus straight in his direction, intent on separating his neck from his spine.
Holy fuck… if he was getting through this shit, he was rubbing it in the face of every horrible creature he met from then on, especially Drathok. As for that imp that had put him here, he’d throw him in the arena with a gang of fucking goblins and see how he liked it, the fucking bas—
Another rock. This one hit him square in the jaw.
Markus stumbled before crashing back onto his ass. He could see the other three melee fighters getting ready to gut him, but the injured goblin was waving them away, snarling and growling at them and forcing them to acquiesce. He clearly had a score to settle, and he wanted to collect Markus’ head himself.
It’d only be seconds before he reached him. Markus was stunned; his body felt weak. He sat dazed upon the sand, his entire nervous system a collection of stinging pains, dull aches, and parts of him that he could no longer feel properly at all.
He averted his eyes from the view above, turned his ears away from the chanting of the sadistic crowd.
Was this how he died? Had he fought this hard just to accept his fate now?
No. He’d win. He’d do something. He had to do something. He still had mana in his body, if he could think of an attack to fire out quickly, if he could—
Markus’ eyes scanned his surroundings wildly as he tried and failed to get a hold of his body’s mana. He was stunlocked, too dizzy to concentrate, too anemic to spring back to his feet, and yet…
Markus noted a glint in the sand. It was subtle, but it drew his attention, as near as it was, a singular dark impression against the yellow-white sand, refracting the light of the sun directly into his eyes.
Markus gasped at what he saw laying there right to his side.
The stones… the fucking Essence Stones! He still had the Essence Stones!
Was it too late?
He plucked the darkest one from the ground beside him, knowing that one was the most potent for he’d filled it more than any other. He was sure there was enough in there to bring him to Overcharge, probably enough to heal some of his injuries, too, only…
He clutched the stone, attempting to drain the mana from it, to syphon it into his body, but with how dizzy he still was, with how much the world beat against his skull through each breath he took, he could scarcely transfer more than a few drops at a time, the connection between his consciousness and his mana pool frayed, threatening to slip away entirely at any moment…
Fuck that shit. Markus wasn’t done digging deep. He’d make every last ditch effort he could to get through this shit, and when that didn’t work, he’d go even further, find an even more ridiculous depth to dig to in order to drag his way out of the muck, for that was what it meant to fight destiny, and that was what he signed up for when he resolved to stay breathing.
Markus ate the stone without a second thought, swallowing the golf ball sized amethyst whole.
He felt a pit beneath his stomach threatening to ignite.
The goblin stared into his eyes as it brought forth its blade and swung at Markus’ shoulder…
The blade never made contact.
Markus exploded with mana, his entire body aflame, pushing the goblins back with aura alone as he rose to his aching feet, brandishing his stolen axe.
[Mana Capacity at 366%. Overcharge, E Grade is in effect. Growth increased. All physical stats temporarily increased by 75. Physical damage resistance increased.]
[Mana Poisoning II is in effect.]
//
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2024.06.08 17:15 kenUdigitt Novel Chapter 429
Disclaimer: I do not speak Korean. This is purely translated by machine with a lot of cleanup afterward. With that in mind, I am open to criticism to improve these translations. Enjoy!
Chapter 429
「Shall we move in that direction now?」
The moment the press conference concluded, Shao Shen, the acting head of security, approached with this query. I nodded in affirmation.
"Let's do that. You know where he is?"
「Yes, I know. Let's go then.」
Guided by Shao Shen, a phalanx of security guards formed a protective circle around me and we commenced a slow march.
Meanwhile, pandemonium erupted outside our orderly formation. A tide of broadcasters armed with cameras and microphones surged towards us.
「Mr. Jin! Is it true that you are friends with His Royal Highness Prince Felix?」
「Jin-san! Jin-san!」
You're the real nuisance, buddy. [Note: the character for "san" in Korean phonetically sounds similar to the word for "nuisance" and "troublemaker".]
Even though we had just had the press conference, journalists from various countries clung on. Luckily, they could not break through the barrier of the Hunter security guards.
Well, there was one particularly tenacious reporter who managed to thrust a microphone in front of me.
"Mr. Jin Tae-Kyung! As a fellow Korean, just one interview please..."
There are always such people wherever you go.
"Ah, yes. Since we're both Korean, please step aside."
I was about to breeze past him when I halted, struck by a wave of recognition. I gestured for Shao Shen to allow the journalist through.
"Just a moment. Are you with DAS Patch?"
"......!"
"Yeah, you are. You published an article about me, right?"
"No, that's not true."
Right, that fucking guy.
This was the journalist who had once branded me as 'single since birth' in a viral article. Since then, searching my name online invariably brought up 'Jin Tae-Kyung, forever alone' as a related search term.
"Shen."
Bewildered by the Korean exchange, Shao Shen looked puzzled.
「Yes, Hyung.」
"Suppress him."
「Yes.」
With a firm nod, Shao Shen seized the DAS Patch journalist's wrist.
「Sir, I will now confiscate your balance.」
"Wait, just a moment!"
The commotion had escalated beyond control. The journalist, caught in a surge of force, was hurled into the air, landing amidst the crowd with a crash that sent cameras splintering across the ground. A cacophony of multilingual expletives rained down like a storm.
Witnessing this babel of curses, I couldn't help but marvel.
"We truly live in a global village."
「Eh?」
"No, never mind. Let's keep moving."
As the police intervened, the crowd parted, opening a pathway.
With the crowd's eyes on me and security tight, I made my way to the designated meeting spot — a suite in a five-star hotel reserved for VVIPs.
"Johnson."
「Oh, Jin. You arrived sooner than I expected?」
Magic Johnson, who had been intently studying something, rose to greet me with a warm smile.
His giant hand clapped my shoulder as he guided me to a seat.
「So, how did the press conference go?」
He obviously hadn't seen it. Accepting the beer he offered, I shrugged.
"So-so. I just answered the questions the best I could and ended it in 30 minutes."
「Haha. The journalists must not have liked that much.」
"They probably like me much more than they like you, since I at least held a press conference."
Magic Johnson had vanished into his quarters as soon as the conflict concluded.
Unlike other S-rank Hunters like Fei Chen and Prince Felix, he had become a recluse, to the extent that rumors of his death were circulating.
His only recent public interaction had been a cryptic update on his official SNS account.
I am researching something new.
It is as mysterious and magnificent as the victory we have just achieved.
Most people probably didn't understand what that meant and dismissed the message, but I was among the few who understood the depths of his new venture.
"So, how did it turn out?"
Magic Johnson's lips twitched slightly as he replied,
「Well...」
"Oh, you were able to do it."
「Did I say that?」
"You're not hiding your smile very well."
「I'm not? Not at all?」
What do you mean, not at all?
As his eyes brimmed with anticipation, I couldn't suppress a chuckle.
"You didn't even like this task at first."
「How do you know that when you weren't here? Did Choi tell you that?」
"Who else? Right now, it's just me, you, and Mr. Choi who know this secret."
「Oh. Well there's something wrong in what Choi told you.」
"Something wrong?"
「Yes. It wasn't that I disliked this task.」
Magic Johnson, having downed a 500ml can of beer in a single gulp, adopted a more grave demeanor.
「I was trying to destroy it.」
"Haha."
「No joke. Imagine if you were in my shoes back then. I almost blew the room to pieces.」
"If it were me, I would have destroyed the hotel."
Yet, the room and the hotel remained unscathed, a testament to Magic Johnson being a 'Grand Mage.'
Mages, driven by an innate curiosity, delve into the unknown, and a Grand Mage, at the pinnacle of both power and knowledge, embodies this trait profoundly.
He had embraced the proposal concerning this unprecedented venture.
「After hearing Choi's explanation and seeing it myself, I couldn't believe it. This is really...」
His words trailed off as he gazed absently at the other end of the room. Then he abruptly shook his head.
「No. This isn't right. You should check it out yourself.」
"Good thing. I thought I was going to die waiting."
Setting aside my half-empty can, I strode confidently across the expansive suite.
"Is it here?"
Magic Johnson nodded. It’s not surprising for an S-rank Hunter sensitive to the flow of energy to notice something odd in this space.
「That's right. You can really feel it?」
"At this level, it's really hard not to notice."
To an untrained observer, the area appeared ordinary. However, upon entering the room, I had instantly discerned its true nature.
This space was shielded by a spell that obscured all sound and vision.
「Wait a moment. I'll remove the magic...」
Whoosh, screech!
Magic Johnson's words were abruptly cut off, his expression shifting to one of surprise.
My hand, radiating with Protective Qi, swept through the air, effortlessly severing the layers of spells he had woven.
「Jin. What did you...?」
Thanks to opening my middle dantian during the fight with the Arch Lich, I could now see the patterns of Qi.
Such feats had become routine for me, so I offered no further explanation and simply focused forward.
With the spell dissolved, the fabric of space unfolded, revealing a figure concealed behind it.
"Ah, eh, ee, oh, oo. Hello. Thank you. Let's cook some rice. I love kimchi."
A blonde foreigner, meticulously practicing Korean in front of a full-length mirror while clutching an object, spun around at the sight of my reflection.
A brief, practiced smile flickered across his face, reminiscent of a seasoned actor.
"You've finally arrived, wicked human."
Look at this guy, getting the pronunciation exactly right.
For a moment, I contemplated punching him, but I chuckled and responded instead.
"Have you gotten handsomer since we last saw each other?"
The blonde foreigner, the Skeleton King, replied with a smug voice.
"You've gotten uglier since we last saw each other."
"......"
"Squid-faced human." [Note: squid is a Korean slang for "ugly guy".]
"...... You damn bastard."
Where on earth did this guy learn Korean?
* * *
「Hmm. Indeed, it's beautiful. There's no evidence of incongruity.」
Magic Johnson chuckled with satisfaction, echoing a top-tier plastic surgeon from Gangnam.
「Even looking at it again, it's a masterpiece of the era. I must be the first mage in human history to carve magic circles onto the bones of a living Named Monster, right?」
It was more than mere self-congratulation; it was the stark reality.
The radiant blonde hair, the eerily luminous golden eyes, and a stature of 190 cm — all meticulously crafted to the finest detail, including just the right amount of body hair.
Beyond that, the defined muscles, visible veins, and every subtle biological response to each breath or gulp.
Only upon intense scrutiny could one detect the abnormality; the Skeleton King appeared utterly human.
"...... Wow, it actually worked."
I had proposed the idea on a whim, thinking, 'What’s the worst that could happen?' but never anticipated such a flawless transformation.
I was just about to touch his blonde hair when...
Swoosh.
The Skeleton King stepped back, fixing me with a haughty look.
"Keep your dirty hands off me. You'll ruin my hair."
"......"
"Will you take responsibility if I go bald?"
This bastard is totally human now...
Dumbfounded, I couldn't muster a response. The Skeleton King, unfazed by my silence, admired his reflection in the mirror and smiled smugly.
"Hmm. Super handsome."
"......Where did you learn to talk like that?"
"From the internet."
"The internet?"
"Yes. I watched it intensely for a week."
"You don't happen to have a phone, do you?"
"That kind human over there bought me one. Thanks, Johnson."
Magic Johnson, having used a translation spell, grinned, evidently satisfied.
「Here's to a successful new start, Mr. King.」
「Thanks, Johnson.」
When did he learn basic English conversation?
I turned to confront Magic Johnson.
"Did you really buy him a phone?"
「Come on, Jin. What's the problem? My youngest daughter is five and she uses a smartphone.」
"That's your daughter, Johnson, but this is the Skeleton King."
"Wait. Wicked human. Sorry to interrupt this conversation, but I must say this."
The Skeleton King cut in with a serious expression.
"From now on, call me Stone-King." [Note: I'm not sure what reference the author is making here, but Stone-King is a direct translation of the Korean characters, which were even used phonetically to sound like "Stone-King" in English.]
"What bullshit is this? Do you want me to stone you?"
"It's my new name. Stone King. Born in Atlanta, Georgia, USA..."
I muttered, feeling a headache coming on.
"Should I just kill you now?"
"Are you planning to kill an American citizen?"
"Who's an American citizen, you idiot?"
"Sooner or later, I could acquire American nationality."
"You ought to be writing a web novel on KakaoPage with lines like that. Who says this kind of bullshit?"
Magic Johnson bashfully lifted his hand.
「Jin, with my connections, it's entirely possible...」
"Aaaaah!"
The absurdity nearly drove me to madness.
Clutching my throbbing forehead, I turned to Magic Johnson.
"Excuse me, Johnson."
「Hmm?」
"What I asked for through Mr. Choi was just to make him look like a human."
「Ah, of course. It was his desperate request, wasn't it?」
This whole scenario had unfolded shortly after my awakening, spurred by the Skeleton King’s vehement demands.
He had lamented about the oppressive confines of the Inventory where he’d been held.
Given his crucial role in the battle, his request seemed reasonable from the perspectives of both Mr. Choi and myself.
'He had protected Mr. Choi and Shao Shen during the battle with Lei Fei, and it was also thanks to him that I was able to defeat the Arch Lich.'
It was about time I reciprocated the Skeleton King’s efforts.
Additionally, having him in a human guise would simplify many things.
No longer would we need to conceal his true form, and he could even secure a contract with the Peace Guild.
But...
"The appearance I described was that of an Asian, wasn't it? No matter how many foreigners there are in Korea, they still stand out. Especially with looks like this."
Before Magic Johnson could respond, the Skeleton King spoke up assertively.
"I asked for it to be changed."
"What? Why?"
"I saw it on the internet. Handsome white men are popular everywhere in the world."
"......And why does that matter?"
"I’d like to try dating."
"Oh, my God."
Magic Johnson offered a consoling pat on my shoulder, which was heavy with the weight of exasperated sighs.
「It's okay, Jin.」
"What do you mean, it's okay? Do you know how scary social media is these days? What if netizens find out and say he's not born in Atlanta, Georgia, but is a native of the demon world? Does that even make sense? Why would you agree to such a request, Johnson?"
「I wanted to create a face that I'd enjoy looking at.」
"What?"
「That face is my ideal type.」
No, fuck...
Just then, a comment that shredded my last thread of patience reached my ears.
"Do you think it's unfair, squid-face?"
"Hey, you damn bastard!"
Snap!
In an instant, I lunged and landed a solid punch atop his head.
He groaned, blood gushing from his mouth — likely because he had bitten his tongue.
Blood, really? Was this yet another trick of magic? It was impressively executed.
"Die! Die!"
"Ack! Argh!"
The melee escalated as our hefty figures tumbled across the room, plunging it into chaos.
During the scuffle, a desk was upended, its collapse sending a cascade of documents Magic Johnson had been reviewing flying across my face.
"Wait, stop! Wicked human! I can't see anything!"
"You need to correct your manners today..."
But then, I froze.
Among the papers smothering my face, I spotted patterns — strange yet familiar.
'This is...'
I left the Skeleton King floundering as I stood and seized the sheet emblazoned with the pattern.
'Sichuan.'
Without a doubt.
It was indeed the pattern I had seen in Sichuan.
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Chapter 429
「Shall we move in that direction now?」
The moment the press conference concluded, Shao Shen, the acting head of security, approached with this query. I nodded in affirmation.
"Let's do that. You know where he is?"
「Yes, I know. Let's go then.」
Guided by Shao Shen, a phalanx of security guards formed a protective circle around me and we commenced a slow march.
Meanwhile, pandemonium erupted outside our orderly formation. A tide of broadcasters armed with cameras and microphones surged towards us.
「Mr. Jin! Is it true that you are friends with His Royal Highness Prince Felix?」
「Jin-san! Jin-san!」
You're the real nuisance, buddy. [Note: the character for "san" in Korean phonetically sounds similar to the word for "nuisance" and "troublemaker".]
Even though we had just had the press conference, journalists from various countries clung on. Luckily, they could not break through the barrier of the Hunter security guards.
Well, there was one particularly tenacious reporter who managed to thrust a microphone in front of me.
"Mr. Jin Tae-Kyung! As a fellow Korean, just one interview please..."
There are always such people wherever you go.
"Ah, yes. Since we're both Korean, please step aside."
I was about to breeze past him when I halted, struck by a wave of recognition. I gestured for Shao Shen to allow the journalist through.
"Just a moment. Are you with DAS Patch?"
"......!"
"Yeah, you are. You published an article about me, right?"
"No, that's not true."
Right, that fucking guy.
This was the journalist who had once branded me as 'single since birth' in a viral article. Since then, searching my name online invariably brought up 'Jin Tae-Kyung, forever alone' as a related search term.
"Shen."
Bewildered by the Korean exchange, Shao Shen looked puzzled.
「Yes, Hyung.」
"Suppress him."
「Yes.」
With a firm nod, Shao Shen seized the DAS Patch journalist's wrist.
「Sir, I will now confiscate your balance.」
"Wait, just a moment!"
The commotion had escalated beyond control. The journalist, caught in a surge of force, was hurled into the air, landing amidst the crowd with a crash that sent cameras splintering across the ground. A cacophony of multilingual expletives rained down like a storm.
Witnessing this babel of curses, I couldn't help but marvel.
"We truly live in a global village."
「Eh?」
"No, never mind. Let's keep moving."
As the police intervened, the crowd parted, opening a pathway.
With the crowd's eyes on me and security tight, I made my way to the designated meeting spot — a suite in a five-star hotel reserved for VVIPs.
"Johnson."
「Oh, Jin. You arrived sooner than I expected?」
Magic Johnson, who had been intently studying something, rose to greet me with a warm smile.
His giant hand clapped my shoulder as he guided me to a seat.
「So, how did the press conference go?」
He obviously hadn't seen it. Accepting the beer he offered, I shrugged.
"So-so. I just answered the questions the best I could and ended it in 30 minutes."
「Haha. The journalists must not have liked that much.」
"They probably like me much more than they like you, since I at least held a press conference."
Magic Johnson had vanished into his quarters as soon as the conflict concluded.
Unlike other S-rank Hunters like Fei Chen and Prince Felix, he had become a recluse, to the extent that rumors of his death were circulating.
His only recent public interaction had been a cryptic update on his official SNS account.
I am researching something new.
It is as mysterious and magnificent as the victory we have just achieved.
Most people probably didn't understand what that meant and dismissed the message, but I was among the few who understood the depths of his new venture.
"So, how did it turn out?"
Magic Johnson's lips twitched slightly as he replied,
「Well...」
"Oh, you were able to do it."
「Did I say that?」
"You're not hiding your smile very well."
「I'm not? Not at all?」
What do you mean, not at all?
As his eyes brimmed with anticipation, I couldn't suppress a chuckle.
"You didn't even like this task at first."
「How do you know that when you weren't here? Did Choi tell you that?」
"Who else? Right now, it's just me, you, and Mr. Choi who know this secret."
「Oh. Well there's something wrong in what Choi told you.」
"Something wrong?"
「Yes. It wasn't that I disliked this task.」
Magic Johnson, having downed a 500ml can of beer in a single gulp, adopted a more grave demeanor.
「I was trying to destroy it.」
"Haha."
「No joke. Imagine if you were in my shoes back then. I almost blew the room to pieces.」
"If it were me, I would have destroyed the hotel."
Yet, the room and the hotel remained unscathed, a testament to Magic Johnson being a 'Grand Mage.'
Mages, driven by an innate curiosity, delve into the unknown, and a Grand Mage, at the pinnacle of both power and knowledge, embodies this trait profoundly.
He had embraced the proposal concerning this unprecedented venture.
「After hearing Choi's explanation and seeing it myself, I couldn't believe it. This is really...」
His words trailed off as he gazed absently at the other end of the room. Then he abruptly shook his head.
「No. This isn't right. You should check it out yourself.」
"Good thing. I thought I was going to die waiting."
Setting aside my half-empty can, I strode confidently across the expansive suite.
"Is it here?"
Magic Johnson nodded. It’s not surprising for an S-rank Hunter sensitive to the flow of energy to notice something odd in this space.
「That's right. You can really feel it?」
"At this level, it's really hard not to notice."
To an untrained observer, the area appeared ordinary. However, upon entering the room, I had instantly discerned its true nature.
This space was shielded by a spell that obscured all sound and vision.
「Wait a moment. I'll remove the magic...」
Whoosh, screech!
Magic Johnson's words were abruptly cut off, his expression shifting to one of surprise.
My hand, radiating with Protective Qi, swept through the air, effortlessly severing the layers of spells he had woven.
「Jin. What did you...?」
Thanks to opening my middle dantian during the fight with the Arch Lich, I could now see the patterns of Qi.
Such feats had become routine for me, so I offered no further explanation and simply focused forward.
With the spell dissolved, the fabric of space unfolded, revealing a figure concealed behind it.
"Ah, eh, ee, oh, oo. Hello. Thank you. Let's cook some rice. I love kimchi."
A blonde foreigner, meticulously practicing Korean in front of a full-length mirror while clutching an object, spun around at the sight of my reflection.
A brief, practiced smile flickered across his face, reminiscent of a seasoned actor.
"You've finally arrived, wicked human."
Look at this guy, getting the pronunciation exactly right.
For a moment, I contemplated punching him, but I chuckled and responded instead.
"Have you gotten handsomer since we last saw each other?"
The blonde foreigner, the Skeleton King, replied with a smug voice.
"You've gotten uglier since we last saw each other."
"......"
"Squid-faced human." [Note: squid is a Korean slang for "ugly guy".]
"...... You damn bastard."
Where on earth did this guy learn Korean?
* * *
「Hmm. Indeed, it's beautiful. There's no evidence of incongruity.」
Magic Johnson chuckled with satisfaction, echoing a top-tier plastic surgeon from Gangnam.
「Even looking at it again, it's a masterpiece of the era. I must be the first mage in human history to carve magic circles onto the bones of a living Named Monster, right?」
It was more than mere self-congratulation; it was the stark reality.
The radiant blonde hair, the eerily luminous golden eyes, and a stature of 190 cm — all meticulously crafted to the finest detail, including just the right amount of body hair.
Beyond that, the defined muscles, visible veins, and every subtle biological response to each breath or gulp.
Only upon intense scrutiny could one detect the abnormality; the Skeleton King appeared utterly human.
"...... Wow, it actually worked."
I had proposed the idea on a whim, thinking, 'What’s the worst that could happen?' but never anticipated such a flawless transformation.
I was just about to touch his blonde hair when...
Swoosh.
The Skeleton King stepped back, fixing me with a haughty look.
"Keep your dirty hands off me. You'll ruin my hair."
"......"
"Will you take responsibility if I go bald?"
This bastard is totally human now...
Dumbfounded, I couldn't muster a response. The Skeleton King, unfazed by my silence, admired his reflection in the mirror and smiled smugly.
"Hmm. Super handsome."
"......Where did you learn to talk like that?"
"From the internet."
"The internet?"
"Yes. I watched it intensely for a week."
"You don't happen to have a phone, do you?"
"That kind human over there bought me one. Thanks, Johnson."
Magic Johnson, having used a translation spell, grinned, evidently satisfied.
「Here's to a successful new start, Mr. King.」
「Thanks, Johnson.」
When did he learn basic English conversation?
I turned to confront Magic Johnson.
"Did you really buy him a phone?"
「Come on, Jin. What's the problem? My youngest daughter is five and she uses a smartphone.」
"That's your daughter, Johnson, but this is the Skeleton King."
"Wait. Wicked human. Sorry to interrupt this conversation, but I must say this."
The Skeleton King cut in with a serious expression.
"From now on, call me Stone-King." [Note: I'm not sure what reference the author is making here, but Stone-King is a direct translation of the Korean characters, which were even used phonetically to sound like "Stone-King" in English.]
"What bullshit is this? Do you want me to stone you?"
"It's my new name. Stone King. Born in Atlanta, Georgia, USA..."
I muttered, feeling a headache coming on.
"Should I just kill you now?"
"Are you planning to kill an American citizen?"
"Who's an American citizen, you idiot?"
"Sooner or later, I could acquire American nationality."
"You ought to be writing a web novel on KakaoPage with lines like that. Who says this kind of bullshit?"
Magic Johnson bashfully lifted his hand.
「Jin, with my connections, it's entirely possible...」
"Aaaaah!"
The absurdity nearly drove me to madness.
Clutching my throbbing forehead, I turned to Magic Johnson.
"Excuse me, Johnson."
「Hmm?」
"What I asked for through Mr. Choi was just to make him look like a human."
「Ah, of course. It was his desperate request, wasn't it?」
This whole scenario had unfolded shortly after my awakening, spurred by the Skeleton King’s vehement demands.
He had lamented about the oppressive confines of the Inventory where he’d been held.
Given his crucial role in the battle, his request seemed reasonable from the perspectives of both Mr. Choi and myself.
'He had protected Mr. Choi and Shao Shen during the battle with Lei Fei, and it was also thanks to him that I was able to defeat the Arch Lich.'
It was about time I reciprocated the Skeleton King’s efforts.
Additionally, having him in a human guise would simplify many things.
No longer would we need to conceal his true form, and he could even secure a contract with the Peace Guild.
But...
"The appearance I described was that of an Asian, wasn't it? No matter how many foreigners there are in Korea, they still stand out. Especially with looks like this."
Before Magic Johnson could respond, the Skeleton King spoke up assertively.
"I asked for it to be changed."
"What? Why?"
"I saw it on the internet. Handsome white men are popular everywhere in the world."
"......And why does that matter?"
"I’d like to try dating."
"Oh, my God."
Magic Johnson offered a consoling pat on my shoulder, which was heavy with the weight of exasperated sighs.
「It's okay, Jin.」
"What do you mean, it's okay? Do you know how scary social media is these days? What if netizens find out and say he's not born in Atlanta, Georgia, but is a native of the demon world? Does that even make sense? Why would you agree to such a request, Johnson?"
「I wanted to create a face that I'd enjoy looking at.」
"What?"
「That face is my ideal type.」
No, fuck...
Just then, a comment that shredded my last thread of patience reached my ears.
"Do you think it's unfair, squid-face?"
"Hey, you damn bastard!"
Snap!
In an instant, I lunged and landed a solid punch atop his head.
He groaned, blood gushing from his mouth — likely because he had bitten his tongue.
Blood, really? Was this yet another trick of magic? It was impressively executed.
"Die! Die!"
"Ack! Argh!"
The melee escalated as our hefty figures tumbled across the room, plunging it into chaos.
During the scuffle, a desk was upended, its collapse sending a cascade of documents Magic Johnson had been reviewing flying across my face.
"Wait, stop! Wicked human! I can't see anything!"
"You need to correct your manners today..."
But then, I froze.
Among the papers smothering my face, I spotted patterns — strange yet familiar.
'This is...'
I left the Skeleton King floundering as I stood and seized the sheet emblazoned with the pattern.
'Sichuan.'
Without a doubt.
It was indeed the pattern I had seen in Sichuan.
Previous Table of Contents Next
2024.06.08 17:03 mi555trZ [Store] 300+ KNIVES AND GLOVES e.g. Fade MW, Scarlet Shamagh FT, Overprint FT, Black Tie FT, Butterfly Blue Steel FT & Black Laminate FT & Damascus Steel FT & Case Hardened FT & Freehand FT & Night FT, Karambit Night FT, Bayonet Gamma Doppler, M9 Autotronic FT & Damascus & Ultraviolet & many more
Taking csgo skins mainly (knives, gloves, aks, m4s, awps and so on). Anything as long as offer is good
I don't update this list everyday, so I have many items which aren't listed here. Check if something interests you! Also, some of the items are on trade hold, for release date you can add me or check by yourself.
TRADE LINK: https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffenew/?partner=35769104&token=J30wyEpy
Add me to talk here: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197996034832
Keys from these buy outs aren't TF2 keys. I don't take Hydra keys either.
Buy outs are in keys for the sake of having a buy out, I trade for skins mainly.
Gloves/wraps:
Gloves Fade MW - B/O 190 keys
Gloves Nocts WW - B/O 62 keys
Gloves Snow Leopard WW - B/O 58 keys
Gloves Scarlet Shamagh FT - B/O 52 keys
Gloves Finish Line MW - B/O 51 keys
Wraps Overprint FT - B/O 37 keys
Gloves Black Tie FT - B/O 35 keys
Gloves Rezan MW - B/O 34 keys
Gloves Crimson Web WW - B/O 34 keys
Gloves Lt. Commander FT - B/O 31 keys
Gloves Tiger Strike BS - B/O 29 keys
Gloves Overtake MW - B/O 29 keys
Gloves Mogul FT - B/O 29 keys
Gloves Cool Mint BS - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Fade BS - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Big Game BS - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Polygon WW - B/O 27 keys
Gloves Boom FT - B/O 26 keys
Gloves POW WW - B/O 25 keys
Gloves Mogul WW - B/O 25 keys
Gloves Lunar Weave FT - B/O 22 keys
Gloves Diamondback FT - B/O 21 keys
Gloves Transport MW - B/O 20 keys
Wraps Giraffe MW - B/O 20 keys
Gloves Black Tie BS - B/O 20 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded MW - B/O 20 keys
Gloves Polygon BS - B/O 19 keys
Gloves Jade FT - B/O 19 keys
Gloves Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 18 keys
Gloves 3rd Commando Company MW - B/O 18 keys
Gloves Rezan FT - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Needle Point MW - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Blood Pressure BS - B/O 15 keys
Gloves POW BS - B/O 15 keys
Gloves Rezan WW - B/O 15 keys
Gloves Case Hardened BS - B/O 15 keys
Wraps Giraffe FT - B/O 15 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh MW - B/O 14 keys
Wraps Arboreal FT - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded FT - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Boom BS - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Diamondback BS - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Bronzed FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Rezan BS - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Convoy FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Buckshot FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Queen Jaguar FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Needle Point FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Transport FT - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh FT - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Duct Tape FT - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Bronzed WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Needle Point WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded BS - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Mangrove MW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Guerrilla BS - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Convoy WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Bronzed BS - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Duct Tape WW - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh WW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Racing Green FT - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Emerald FT - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Rattler FT - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Transport BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Emerald WW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Mangrove FT - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Emerald BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Racing Green BS - B/O 10 keys
Knives and high tier items:
Butterfly Blue Steel FT - B/O 180 keys
Butterfly Black Laminate FT - B/O 180 keys
Butterfly Damascus Steel FT - B/O 170 keys
Butterfly Case Hardened FT - B/O 170 keys
Butterfly Freehand FT - B/O 160 keys
Butterfly Night FT - B/O 130 keys
Butterfly Rust Coat BS - B/O 130 keys
Karambit Night FT - B/O 110 keys
Karambit Lore BS - B/O 110 keys
Karambit Safari Mesh MW - B/O 90 keys
M9 Autotronic FT - B/O 190 keys
M9 Damscus Steel FT - B/O 110 keys
M9 Ultraviolet FT - B/O 95 keys
M9 Boreal FT - B/O 80 keys
M9 Urban Masked WW - B/O 75 keys
Bayonet Gamma Doppler FN P3 - B/O 160 keys
Bayonet Lore FT - B/O 80 keys
Bayonet Case Hardened MW - B/O 73 keys
Bayonet Blue Steel WW - B/O 54 keys
Bayonet Ultraviolet FT - B/O 51 keys
Bayonet Night FT ST - B/O 50 keys
Bayonet Night FT - B/O 48 keys
Talon Marble Fade FN - B/O 150 keys
Talon Rust Coat BS - B/O 57 keys
Talon Urban Masked FT - B/O 46 keys
Talon Night BS - B/O 46 keys
Talon Urban Masked WW - B/O 45 keys
Kukri Crimson Web MW - B/O 125 keys
Kukri Forest Ddpat BS - B/O 35 keys
Stiletto Damascus Steel WW - B/O 47 keys
Stiletto Stained WW - B/O 42 keys
Stiletto Night FT - B/O 36 keys
Stiletto Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 31 keys
Stiletto Safari Mesh FT - B/o 30 keys
Classic Case Hardended FT - B/O 42 keys
Classic Stained FT - B/O 30 keys
Classic Night MW - B/O 27 keys
Classic Urban Masked FT - B/O 23 keys
Classic Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 20 keys
Classic Scorched BS - B/O 20 keys
Classic Urban Masked BS - B/O 20 keys
Ursus Case Hardened FT - B/O 33 keys
Ursus Rust Coat BS - B/O 21 keys
Ursus Rust Coat BS ST - B/O 21 keys
Ursus Scorched FT - B/O 19 keys
Ursus Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 18 keys
Ursus Scorched WW - B/O 18 keys
Ursus Boreal FT - B/O 18 keys
Ursus Safari Mesh BS ST - B/O 18 keys
Ursus Safari Mesh WW - B/O 17 keys
Ursus Boreal BS - B/O 17 keys
Flip Gamma Doppler FN P4 - B/O 120 keys
Flip Doppler FN P2 - B/O 110 keys
Flip Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 64 keys
Flip Lore FT - B/O 50 keys
Flip Crimson Web FT - B/O 48 keys
Flip Case Hardend FT - B/O 43 keys
Flip Damascus Steel FN - B/O 41 keys
Flip Damascus Steel FT - B/O 35 keys
Flip Bright Water WW - B/O 33 keys
Flip Night FT - B/O 31 keys
Flip Stained FT ST - B/O 31 keys
Flip Urban Masked MW - B/O 29 keys
Flip Rust Coat BS - B/O 29 keys
Flip Safari Mesh FT - B/O 23 keys
Skeleton Case Hardened WW - B/O 74 keys
Huntsman Autotronic MW - B/O 43 keys
Huntsman Case Hardened WW - B/O 38 keys
Huntsman Crimson Web FT - B/O 30 keys
Huntsman Freehand MW - B/O 26 keys
Huntsman Stained WW - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Freehand FT - B/O 22 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet WW - B/O 21 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet FT - B/O 21 keys
Huntsman Bright Water FT - B/O 20 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet BS - B/O 20 keys
Huntsman Bright Water FT - B/O 19 keys
Huntsman Boreal FT - B/O 18 keys
Huntsman Safari Mesh BS - B/O 17 keys
Nomad Fade FN - B/O 180 keys
Nomad Slaughter FN - B/O 95 keys
Nomad Night FT - B/O 32 keys
Nomad Scorched MW - B/O 31 keys
Nomad Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 24 keys
Nomad Safari Mesh WW - B/O 23 keys
Nomad Safari Mesh FT - B/O 23 keys
Bowie Slaughter FN - B/O 51 keys
Bowie Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 41 keys
Bowie Case Hardened FT - B/O 38 keys
Bowie Case Hardened BS - B/O 34 keys
Bowie Crimson Web WW - B/O 28 keys
Bowie Bright Water FN - B/O 21 keys
Bowie Ultraviolet FT - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Bright Water FT - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Forest Ddpat MW - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Night BS - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Black Laminate WW - B/O 17 keys
Bowie Safari Mesh FT ST - B/O 17 keys
Bowie Forest Ddpat WW - B/O 17 keys
Bowie Safari Mesh FT - B/O 16 keys
Falchion Slaughter FN - B/O 52 keys
Falchion Crimson Web FT - B/O 28 keys
Falchion Bright Water FT - B/O 20 keys
Falchion Safari Mesh MW ST - B/O 20 keys
Falchion Forest Ddpat MW - B/O 18 keys
Falchion Night BS - B/O 18 keys
Falchion Boreal FT - B/O 17 keys
Falchion Urban Masked BS - B/O 16 keys
Paracord Crimson Web MW - B/O 50 keys
Paracord Case Hardened MW - B/O 38 keys
Paracord Crimson Web FT - B/O 32 keys
Paracord Blue Steel WW - B/O 23 keys
Paracord Boreal MW ST - B/O 23 keys
Paracord Stained MW - B/O 23 keys
Paracord Urban Masked FT - B/O 16 keys
Paracord Safari Mesh FT - B/O 15 keys
Paracord Safari Mesh WW - B/O 15 keys
Survival Night FT - B/O 17 keys
Survival Boreal BS - B/O 15 keys
Gut Fade MW - B/O 45 keys
Gut Gamma Doppler FN P4 - B/O 45 keys
Gut Fade FN - B/O 40 keys
Gut Lore FN - B/O 40 keys
Gut Marble Fade FN - B/o 32 keys
Gut Lore MW - B/O 31 keys
Gut Case Hardened MW - B/O 27 keys
Gut Vanilla - B/O 22 keys
Gut Lore BS - B/O 21 keys
Gut Freehand FN - B/o 20 keys
Gut Freehand FN - B/O 20 keys
Gut Damascus Steel WW - B/O 18 keys
Gut Black Laminate FT - B/O 17 keys
Gut Bright Water FT - B/O 16 keys
Gut Ultraviolet FT - B/O 16 keys
Gut Bright Water BS - B/O 15 keys
Gut Boreal MW - B/o 15 keys
Gut Night FT - B/O 15 keys
Gut Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 15 keys
Gut Urban Masked FT - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Doppler Ruby FN - B/O 100 keys
Daggers Gamma Doppler FN P3 - B/O 32 keys
Daggers Marble Fade FN - B/O 26 keys
Daggers Ultraviolet MW - B/O 24 keys
Daggers Case Hardened FT - B/O 21 keys
Daggers Lore BS - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Freehand FN - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Lore WW - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Autotronic BS - B/O 16 keys
Daggers Blue Steel WW - B/O 16 keys
Daggers Damascus Steel MW - B/O 16 keys
Daggers Freehand FT - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Boreal WW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Damascus Steel FT - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Scorched WW - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Rust Coat WW - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Bright Water MW - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Ultraviolet BS - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Urban Masked BS - B/O 13 keys
Daggers Urban Masked FT - B/O 13 keys
Daggers Bright Water FT - B/O 13 keys
Daggers Forest Ddpat BS - B/O 13 keys
Daggers Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 13 keys
Daggers Urban Masked WW - B/o 13 keys
Daggers Boreal MW - B/O 13 keys
Daggers Scorched BS - B/O 13 keys
Navaja Doppler FN P1 - B/O 34 keys
Navaja Marble Fade FN - B/O 27 keys
Navaja Tiger Tooth FN ST - B/O 25 keys
Navaja Vanilla - B/O 25 keys
Navaja Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 23 keys
Navaja Night BS ST - B/O 22 keys
Navaja Case Hardened FT - B/O 22 keys
Navaja Case Hardened WW - B/O 21 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel FN - B/O 17 keys
Navaja Blue Steel MW - B/O 16 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel MW - B/O 16 keys
Navaja Rust Coat WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Blue Steel FT - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel WW - B/o 15 keys
Navaja Blue Steel FT - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel WW - B/o 15 keys
Navaja Blue Steel BS - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel FT - B/o 15 keys
Navaja Ultraviolet FT - B/o 15 keys
Navaja Boreal MW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night MW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Stained WW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Scorched MW - B/o 14 keys
Navaja Forest Ddpat WW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night FT ST - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night BS - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night Ft - B/o 14 keys
Navaja Ultraviolet BS - B/O 13 keys
Navaja Boreal WW - B/O 13 keys
Navaja Scorched FT - B/o 13 keys
Navaja Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 13 keys
Navaja Urban Masked FT - B/O 13 keys
submitted by mi555trZ to GlobalOffensiveTrade [link] [comments]
I don't update this list everyday, so I have many items which aren't listed here. Check if something interests you! Also, some of the items are on trade hold, for release date you can add me or check by yourself.
TRADE LINK: https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffenew/?partner=35769104&token=J30wyEpy
Add me to talk here: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197996034832
Keys from these buy outs aren't TF2 keys. I don't take Hydra keys either.
Buy outs are in keys for the sake of having a buy out, I trade for skins mainly.
Gloves/wraps:
Gloves Fade MW - B/O 190 keys
Gloves Nocts WW - B/O 62 keys
Gloves Snow Leopard WW - B/O 58 keys
Gloves Scarlet Shamagh FT - B/O 52 keys
Gloves Finish Line MW - B/O 51 keys
Wraps Overprint FT - B/O 37 keys
Gloves Black Tie FT - B/O 35 keys
Gloves Rezan MW - B/O 34 keys
Gloves Crimson Web WW - B/O 34 keys
Gloves Lt. Commander FT - B/O 31 keys
Gloves Tiger Strike BS - B/O 29 keys
Gloves Overtake MW - B/O 29 keys
Gloves Mogul FT - B/O 29 keys
Gloves Cool Mint BS - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Fade BS - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Big Game BS - B/O 28 keys
Gloves Polygon WW - B/O 27 keys
Gloves Boom FT - B/O 26 keys
Gloves POW WW - B/O 25 keys
Gloves Mogul WW - B/O 25 keys
Gloves Lunar Weave FT - B/O 22 keys
Gloves Diamondback FT - B/O 21 keys
Gloves Transport MW - B/O 20 keys
Wraps Giraffe MW - B/O 20 keys
Gloves Black Tie BS - B/O 20 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded MW - B/O 20 keys
Gloves Polygon BS - B/O 19 keys
Gloves Jade FT - B/O 19 keys
Gloves Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 18 keys
Gloves 3rd Commando Company MW - B/O 18 keys
Gloves Rezan FT - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Needle Point MW - B/O 16 keys
Gloves Blood Pressure BS - B/O 15 keys
Gloves POW BS - B/O 15 keys
Gloves Rezan WW - B/O 15 keys
Gloves Case Hardened BS - B/O 15 keys
Wraps Giraffe FT - B/O 15 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh MW - B/O 14 keys
Wraps Arboreal FT - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded FT - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Boom BS - B/O 14 keys
Gloves Diamondback BS - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Bronzed FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Rezan BS - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Convoy FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Buckshot FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Queen Jaguar FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Needle Point FT - B/O 13 keys
Gloves Transport FT - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh FT - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Duct Tape FT - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Bronzed WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Needle Point WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Yellow-banded BS - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Mangrove MW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Guerrilla BS - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Convoy WW - B/O 12 keys
Gloves Bronzed BS - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Duct Tape WW - B/O 12 keys
Wraps Desert Shamagh WW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Racing Green FT - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Emerald FT - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Rattler FT - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Transport BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Emerald WW - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Mangrove FT - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Emerald BS - B/O 11 keys
Gloves Racing Green BS - B/O 10 keys
Knives and high tier items:
Butterfly Blue Steel FT - B/O 180 keys
Butterfly Black Laminate FT - B/O 180 keys
Butterfly Damascus Steel FT - B/O 170 keys
Butterfly Case Hardened FT - B/O 170 keys
Butterfly Freehand FT - B/O 160 keys
Butterfly Night FT - B/O 130 keys
Butterfly Rust Coat BS - B/O 130 keys
Karambit Night FT - B/O 110 keys
Karambit Lore BS - B/O 110 keys
Karambit Safari Mesh MW - B/O 90 keys
M9 Autotronic FT - B/O 190 keys
M9 Damscus Steel FT - B/O 110 keys
M9 Ultraviolet FT - B/O 95 keys
M9 Boreal FT - B/O 80 keys
M9 Urban Masked WW - B/O 75 keys
Bayonet Gamma Doppler FN P3 - B/O 160 keys
Bayonet Lore FT - B/O 80 keys
Bayonet Case Hardened MW - B/O 73 keys
Bayonet Blue Steel WW - B/O 54 keys
Bayonet Ultraviolet FT - B/O 51 keys
Bayonet Night FT ST - B/O 50 keys
Bayonet Night FT - B/O 48 keys
Talon Marble Fade FN - B/O 150 keys
Talon Rust Coat BS - B/O 57 keys
Talon Urban Masked FT - B/O 46 keys
Talon Night BS - B/O 46 keys
Talon Urban Masked WW - B/O 45 keys
Kukri Crimson Web MW - B/O 125 keys
Kukri Forest Ddpat BS - B/O 35 keys
Stiletto Damascus Steel WW - B/O 47 keys
Stiletto Stained WW - B/O 42 keys
Stiletto Night FT - B/O 36 keys
Stiletto Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 31 keys
Stiletto Safari Mesh FT - B/o 30 keys
Classic Case Hardended FT - B/O 42 keys
Classic Stained FT - B/O 30 keys
Classic Night MW - B/O 27 keys
Classic Urban Masked FT - B/O 23 keys
Classic Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 20 keys
Classic Scorched BS - B/O 20 keys
Classic Urban Masked BS - B/O 20 keys
Ursus Case Hardened FT - B/O 33 keys
Ursus Rust Coat BS - B/O 21 keys
Ursus Rust Coat BS ST - B/O 21 keys
Ursus Scorched FT - B/O 19 keys
Ursus Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 18 keys
Ursus Scorched WW - B/O 18 keys
Ursus Boreal FT - B/O 18 keys
Ursus Safari Mesh BS ST - B/O 18 keys
Ursus Safari Mesh WW - B/O 17 keys
Ursus Boreal BS - B/O 17 keys
Flip Gamma Doppler FN P4 - B/O 120 keys
Flip Doppler FN P2 - B/O 110 keys
Flip Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 64 keys
Flip Lore FT - B/O 50 keys
Flip Crimson Web FT - B/O 48 keys
Flip Case Hardend FT - B/O 43 keys
Flip Damascus Steel FN - B/O 41 keys
Flip Damascus Steel FT - B/O 35 keys
Flip Bright Water WW - B/O 33 keys
Flip Night FT - B/O 31 keys
Flip Stained FT ST - B/O 31 keys
Flip Urban Masked MW - B/O 29 keys
Flip Rust Coat BS - B/O 29 keys
Flip Safari Mesh FT - B/O 23 keys
Skeleton Case Hardened WW - B/O 74 keys
Huntsman Autotronic MW - B/O 43 keys
Huntsman Case Hardened WW - B/O 38 keys
Huntsman Crimson Web FT - B/O 30 keys
Huntsman Freehand MW - B/O 26 keys
Huntsman Stained WW - B/O 25 keys
Huntsman Freehand FT - B/O 22 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet WW - B/O 21 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet FT - B/O 21 keys
Huntsman Bright Water FT - B/O 20 keys
Huntsman Ultraviolet BS - B/O 20 keys
Huntsman Bright Water FT - B/O 19 keys
Huntsman Boreal FT - B/O 18 keys
Huntsman Safari Mesh BS - B/O 17 keys
Nomad Fade FN - B/O 180 keys
Nomad Slaughter FN - B/O 95 keys
Nomad Night FT - B/O 32 keys
Nomad Scorched MW - B/O 31 keys
Nomad Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 24 keys
Nomad Safari Mesh WW - B/O 23 keys
Nomad Safari Mesh FT - B/O 23 keys
Bowie Slaughter FN - B/O 51 keys
Bowie Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 41 keys
Bowie Case Hardened FT - B/O 38 keys
Bowie Case Hardened BS - B/O 34 keys
Bowie Crimson Web WW - B/O 28 keys
Bowie Bright Water FN - B/O 21 keys
Bowie Ultraviolet FT - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Bright Water FT - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Forest Ddpat MW - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Night BS - B/O 18 keys
Bowie Black Laminate WW - B/O 17 keys
Bowie Safari Mesh FT ST - B/O 17 keys
Bowie Forest Ddpat WW - B/O 17 keys
Bowie Safari Mesh FT - B/O 16 keys
Falchion Slaughter FN - B/O 52 keys
Falchion Crimson Web FT - B/O 28 keys
Falchion Bright Water FT - B/O 20 keys
Falchion Safari Mesh MW ST - B/O 20 keys
Falchion Forest Ddpat MW - B/O 18 keys
Falchion Night BS - B/O 18 keys
Falchion Boreal FT - B/O 17 keys
Falchion Urban Masked BS - B/O 16 keys
Paracord Crimson Web MW - B/O 50 keys
Paracord Case Hardened MW - B/O 38 keys
Paracord Crimson Web FT - B/O 32 keys
Paracord Blue Steel WW - B/O 23 keys
Paracord Boreal MW ST - B/O 23 keys
Paracord Stained MW - B/O 23 keys
Paracord Urban Masked FT - B/O 16 keys
Paracord Safari Mesh FT - B/O 15 keys
Paracord Safari Mesh WW - B/O 15 keys
Survival Night FT - B/O 17 keys
Survival Boreal BS - B/O 15 keys
Gut Fade MW - B/O 45 keys
Gut Gamma Doppler FN P4 - B/O 45 keys
Gut Fade FN - B/O 40 keys
Gut Lore FN - B/O 40 keys
Gut Marble Fade FN - B/o 32 keys
Gut Lore MW - B/O 31 keys
Gut Case Hardened MW - B/O 27 keys
Gut Vanilla - B/O 22 keys
Gut Lore BS - B/O 21 keys
Gut Freehand FN - B/o 20 keys
Gut Freehand FN - B/O 20 keys
Gut Damascus Steel WW - B/O 18 keys
Gut Black Laminate FT - B/O 17 keys
Gut Bright Water FT - B/O 16 keys
Gut Ultraviolet FT - B/O 16 keys
Gut Bright Water BS - B/O 15 keys
Gut Boreal MW - B/o 15 keys
Gut Night FT - B/O 15 keys
Gut Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 15 keys
Gut Urban Masked FT - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Doppler Ruby FN - B/O 100 keys
Daggers Gamma Doppler FN P3 - B/O 32 keys
Daggers Marble Fade FN - B/O 26 keys
Daggers Ultraviolet MW - B/O 24 keys
Daggers Case Hardened FT - B/O 21 keys
Daggers Lore BS - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Freehand FN - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Lore WW - B/O 18 keys
Daggers Autotronic BS - B/O 16 keys
Daggers Blue Steel WW - B/O 16 keys
Daggers Damascus Steel MW - B/O 16 keys
Daggers Freehand FT - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Boreal WW - B/O 15 keys
Daggers Damascus Steel FT - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Scorched WW - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Rust Coat WW - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Bright Water MW - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Ultraviolet BS - B/O 14 keys
Daggers Urban Masked BS - B/O 13 keys
Daggers Urban Masked FT - B/O 13 keys
Daggers Bright Water FT - B/O 13 keys
Daggers Forest Ddpat BS - B/O 13 keys
Daggers Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 13 keys
Daggers Urban Masked WW - B/o 13 keys
Daggers Boreal MW - B/O 13 keys
Daggers Scorched BS - B/O 13 keys
Navaja Doppler FN P1 - B/O 34 keys
Navaja Marble Fade FN - B/O 27 keys
Navaja Tiger Tooth FN ST - B/O 25 keys
Navaja Vanilla - B/O 25 keys
Navaja Tiger Tooth FN - B/O 23 keys
Navaja Night BS ST - B/O 22 keys
Navaja Case Hardened FT - B/O 22 keys
Navaja Case Hardened WW - B/O 21 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel FN - B/O 17 keys
Navaja Blue Steel MW - B/O 16 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel MW - B/O 16 keys
Navaja Rust Coat WW - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Blue Steel FT - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel WW - B/o 15 keys
Navaja Blue Steel FT - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel WW - B/o 15 keys
Navaja Blue Steel BS - B/O 15 keys
Navaja Damascus Steel FT - B/o 15 keys
Navaja Ultraviolet FT - B/o 15 keys
Navaja Boreal MW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night MW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Stained WW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Scorched MW - B/o 14 keys
Navaja Forest Ddpat WW - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night FT ST - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night BS - B/O 14 keys
Navaja Night Ft - B/o 14 keys
Navaja Ultraviolet BS - B/O 13 keys
Navaja Boreal WW - B/O 13 keys
Navaja Scorched FT - B/o 13 keys
Navaja Forest Ddpat FT - B/O 13 keys
Navaja Urban Masked FT - B/O 13 keys
2024.06.08 16:36 MaxBurman Theory: What Does the Science Say?
DISCLAIMER: This post does not provide medical advice. Only a doctor can establish a diagnosis and select the appropriate treatment.
In this post, I tried to find a scientific explanation for the side effects of Lion's Mane. If you are experiencing side effects and don't want to go into the theory, you can move on to the next post:
Recovery: The Complete Guide
Several in vitro studies have found that Lion’s Mane affects NGF and BDNF.\17]) This may also contribute to the development of side effects.
Noribogaine (component of Iboga) is most potent as a serotonin reuptake inhibitor, but it also acts as a moderate k-opioid receptor agonist.\21]) There are several known cases of Iboga-induced manic episodes. They lasted 1-2 weeks and manifested as insomnia, irritability, impulsivity, emotional lability, grandiose delusions, rapid tangential speech, aggressive behavior and suicidal ideation.\22])
If not much time has passed since the last use of Lion's Mane, it is too early to suspect the development of any disorder. Here is a quote from the HPPD test – it may be relevant to other disorders as well:
Substances that can cause SIDs include: caffeine, cannabis, metamphetamines, alcohol, hallucinogens, opioids, benzodiazepines and other substances.\23])
Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder
ICD-11 code: 6B66
Symptoms of depersonalization include:
Substance-Induced Anxiety Disorder
ICD-11 code: 6C4E.71
Common symptoms of a substance-induced anxiety disorder include:
Substance-Induced Sleep Disorder
ICD-10-CM code: F19.982
Common symptoms of a substance-induced sleep disorder include:
ICD-11 code: 6C4E.700
Common symptoms of substance-induced depression include:
https://www.addictionhelp.com/mental-health/substance-induced-disorders/
https://www.madeofmillions.com/conditions/substance-induced-disorders/
Cytotoxicity. Studies of Lion's Mane aqueous extract on three cell types showed no cytotoxicity.\32][33]) In addition, animal studies of Lion's Mane mycelium and fruiting body have found no signs of toxicity, morbidity or mortality even at high dosage.\34][35][36])
Post-Finasteride Syndrome (PFS). Finasteride side effects are primarily sexual and include erectile dysfunction, decreased ejaculatory volume, a decrease in libido, as well as gynecomastia.\37]) There are no stories in this community mentioning gynecomastia, which raises doubts about the PFS theory.
Other contradictions:
Undeclared substances and contamination. Supplements in general may contain undeclared substances and contaminants that pose health risks. Judging by the stories in this community side effects due to contamination are very rare. Here are the studies on the subject from Johnny Harris' video Your Supplements are a Lie:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QpeAf2LG20HzloFg59R8hVI1W4J3NmaaHwJ9YU08niE/edit?usp=sharing
References are listed in this post.
submitted by MaxBurman to LionsManeRecovery [link] [comments]
In this post, I tried to find a scientific explanation for the side effects of Lion's Mane. If you are experiencing side effects and don't want to go into the theory, you can move on to the next post:
Recovery: The Complete Guide
What is known about the pharmacology of Lion's Mane?
Lion's Mane contains many components – Erinacines, Hericenones, Polysaccharides and others. Obviously, the science is not yet aware of all the effects of Lion’s Mane due to the large amount of substances. But as practice shows, usually only one or a few substances isolated from mushrooms and plants have a significant effect on humans. In my opinion, in the case of Lion’s Mane, Erinacine E has the most significant effect. Erinacine E is an agonist of the k-opioid receptor.\1][2]) Activation of the k-opioid receptor can cause the following effects: analgesia,\3][4]) stress and anxiety,\5]) panic,\6][7][8]) psychotomimesis and dysphoria,\9][10]) dissociation and changes in sensory perception,\11]) disruptions in sleep,\12]) depression and anhedonia.\13][14][15][16])Several in vitro studies have found that Lion’s Mane affects NGF and BDNF.\17]) This may also contribute to the development of side effects.
Other natural agonists of the k-opioid receptor
Salvinorin A (main component of Salvia Divinorum) is a potent selective k-opioid agonist.\18]) This substance can cause severe dissociation (depersonalization and derealization), dysphoria, pro-depressant effects, fear, terror, panic, increased perspiration and other negative effects.\11][19][20]) There is at least one known case of toxic psychosis after intake of cannabis in combination with Salvia Divinorum.\20])Noribogaine (component of Iboga) is most potent as a serotonin reuptake inhibitor, but it also acts as a moderate k-opioid receptor agonist.\21]) There are several known cases of Iboga-induced manic episodes. They lasted 1-2 weeks and manifested as insomnia, irritability, impulsivity, emotional lability, grandiose delusions, rapid tangential speech, aggressive behavior and suicidal ideation.\22])
Lion's Mane side effects
Stories from this community describe the following side effects:- Dissociation (depersonalization and derealization)
- Anxiety and panic attacks
- Blunted emotions, anhedonia and low libido
- Dysphoria (gloomy mood, irritability, self-criticism, auto-aggressive behavior, suicidal thoughts)
- Poor sleep or insomnia
- Mental confusion
- Anesthesia-like effects (loss of skin sensation, tingling sensation in the body)
- Intestinal problems
- Heart palpitations
- Headache and/or pressure in the head
- Muscle twitching
- Visual noise
- Tinnitus
- Other more rare symptoms have also been described.
Lion's Mane can cause Substance-Induced Disorders
Substance-Induced Disorders (SIDs) occur when a drug or medication triggers a mental health condition. SIDs typically match up with symptoms of their non-substance-related counterparts. For example, substance-induced bipolar disorder and normal bipolar disorder can appear the same from the outside. The key difference between them depends on the cause: substance-induced bipolar disorder is caused by abuse of medications like stimulants, while it's believed that a mixture of genetics and upbringing causes normal bipolar disorder.\23][24])If not much time has passed since the last use of Lion's Mane, it is too early to suspect the development of any disorder. Here is a quote from the HPPD test – it may be relevant to other disorders as well:
"Psychedelic and other drugs especially can cause increases in neuroplasticity and visual oddities in the immediate period after trips that may last as long as two weeks. If it has been less than two weeks, this may be a result of the drug's acute impact rather than a longer-term condition like HPPD."\25])In addition, a disorder is only diagnosed if its symptoms cause significant distress or significant impairment in daily functioning. If symptoms already existed before taking substances, it is not Substance-Induced Disorder, but an exacerbation of an existing condition.\23][24])
Substances that can cause SIDs include: caffeine, cannabis, metamphetamines, alcohol, hallucinogens, opioids, benzodiazepines and other substances.\23])
Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder
ICD-11 code: 6B66
Symptoms of depersonalization include:
- Feeling detached and disconnected from your physical body, yourself, or thoughts, as if you were an outside observer.
- Feeling emotionally and physically numb.
- Not trusting your memories.
- Feeling robotic, mechanical, or automated.\26])
- Feeling like you're in a dream or a movie and detached from the outside world as if in a fog or looking through a glass barrier.
- Distortions in the surroundings, time perception, space, and distance.
- Feeling emotionally disconnected from loved ones.
- Feeling as if the world is lacking in depth or meaningfulness.\26])
Substance-Induced Anxiety Disorder
ICD-11 code: 6C4E.71
Common symptoms of a substance-induced anxiety disorder include:
- Irritability
- Insomnia
- Fast heart rate or pounding heartbeat
- Excessive sweating
- Shakiness
- Shortness of breath
- Pain or tightness in the chest
- Feeling dizzy or lightheaded
- Low energy and fatigue
- Muscle tension
- Panic attacks
- Significant worry and nervousness
- Trouble concentrating or paying attention\23])
Substance-Induced Sleep Disorder
ICD-10-CM code: F19.982
Common symptoms of a substance-induced sleep disorder include:
- Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
- Waking up a lot during the night
- Not feeling rested from sleep
- Excessive sleepiness or tiredness during the daytime
- Sleeping much longer than intended
- Displaying abnormal behaviors during sleep\23])
ICD-11 code: 6C4E.700
Common symptoms of substance-induced depression include:
- Sadness
- Worthlessness
- Low energy
- Difficulty concentrating
- Isolation
- Suicidal thoughts\23])
- Irritability
- Powerful emotions such as guilt, anger, or melancholia
- Feelings of failure
- A deep sense of discontent or dissatisfaction
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Aggression and hostility
- Lack of pleasure in daily activities\28])
- Hallucinogen persisting perception disorder (HPPD) is a DSM-5-listed condition in which people experience lasting, debilitating changes to their visual perception after using drugs, especially psychedelic drugs.\29])
- Substance-induced sexual dysfunction is a condition in both men and women that causes difficulties with sexual desire, arousal, and/or orgasm due to a side effect of certain substances.\23])
https://www.addictionhelp.com/mental-health/substance-induced-disorders/
https://www.madeofmillions.com/conditions/substance-induced-disorders/
Other causes of Lion's Mane side effects
Allergy. At least one case of anaphylaxis after consuming Lion's Mane has been described in the scientific literature.\30]) A food allergy is an abnormal immune response to food. The symptoms of the allergic reaction may range from mild to severe. They may include itchiness, swelling of the tongue, vomiting, diarrhea, hives, trouble breathing, or low blood pressure. This typically occurs within minutes to several hours of exposure. When the symptoms are severe, it is known as anaphylaxis.\31])Cytotoxicity. Studies of Lion's Mane aqueous extract on three cell types showed no cytotoxicity.\32][33]) In addition, animal studies of Lion's Mane mycelium and fruiting body have found no signs of toxicity, morbidity or mortality even at high dosage.\34][35][36])
Post-Finasteride Syndrome (PFS). Finasteride side effects are primarily sexual and include erectile dysfunction, decreased ejaculatory volume, a decrease in libido, as well as gynecomastia.\37]) There are no stories in this community mentioning gynecomastia, which raises doubts about the PFS theory.
Other contradictions:
- Lion's Mane reduces 5-AR activity by about 20%, which in no way distinguishes Lion's Mane from other medicinal mushrooms;\38])
- Finasteride reduces blood DHT levels by about 70%.\39]) Most likely we would already know about the comparable effect of Lion's Mane, but we have no such data;
- Symptoms of PFS are primarily sexual. Symptoms after Lion's Mane are primarily psychological (anxiety, dysphoria, etc.);
- PFS does not occur after a single Finasteride tablet. In the case of Lion's Mane, long-term side effects may occur after one pill.
Undeclared substances and contamination. Supplements in general may contain undeclared substances and contaminants that pose health risks. Judging by the stories in this community side effects due to contamination are very rare. Here are the studies on the subject from Johnny Harris' video Your Supplements are a Lie:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QpeAf2LG20HzloFg59R8hVI1W4J3NmaaHwJ9YU08niE/edit?usp=sharing
Some thoughts
In my opinion, the most dangerous side effect of Lion's Mane is dysphoria, as it increases the likelihood of self-harm and suicide even in healthy people. I dread to imagine what could happen to people who already have a depressive spectrum disorder... Unfortunately, there is already one known case of suicide after taking Lion's Mane. If you can influence this situation in any way, such as spreading the word about the side effects – please do so. It is hardly possible to ban this supplement completely. But there should be a warning with contraindications on the packaging so that people will be aware of their risks.References are listed in this post.
2024.06.08 14:52 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 100.000$+ INVENTORY. BFK Lore, Gloves Amphibious, Skeleton Fade, Bowie Emerald, BFK Auto, Gloves MF, Talon Doppler, Gloves POW, Bayo Tiger, Gut Sapphire, Stiletto MF, M9 Ultra, Ursus Doppler, Flip Doppler, M9 Stained, Nomad CW, Paracord CW, AK-47 X-Ray & A Lot More