Acrostic poems for depression

Poems made from the Acrostic Beat Poem Generator in the description

2016.03.30 20:27 Poems made from the Acrostic Beat Poem Generator in the description

This is for acrostic beat poems made by this acrostic beat poem generator: http://www.carbonpictures.com/peppebeatpoemgenerato
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2024.05.14 14:29 adulting4kids Poetry Course Week Three and Four

Week 3: Limericks and the Art of Humor
Day 1: Decoding Limericks - Activity: Analyze classic limericks for rhythm and humor. - Lecture: Discuss the AABBA rhyme scheme and distinctive rhythm. - Discussion: Share favorite humorous poems and discuss elements that make them funny.
Day 2: Crafting Limericks with Wit - Activity: Write limericks individually, focusing on humor and rhythm. - Lecture: Explore the balance of humor and structure in limericks. - Discussion: Share and discuss individual limericks, highlighting successful elements.
Day 3: Understanding Free Verse - Activity: Analyze free verse poems for structure and expression. - Lecture: Introduce the concept of free verse and its flexibility. - Discussion: Discuss the liberation and challenges of writing without a strict structure.
Day 4: Writing Exercise - Expressing Emotions in Free Verse - Activity: Explore emotions and write a free verse poem. - Assignment: Craft a free verse poem exploring a personal experience or emotion. - Vocabulary Words: Enjambment, Cadence, Anapest.
Day 5: Peer Review and Feedback - Activity: Peer review workshop for free verse poems. - Lecture: Discuss the artistic freedom and impact of free verse. - Discussion: Share insights gained from reviewing peers' free verse poems.
Study Guide Questions for Week 3: 1. What defines a limerick, and how does its rhythm contribute to its humor? 2. Discuss the importance of the AABBA rhyme scheme in limericks. 3. How does free verse differ from structured forms of poetry? 4. Explore the challenges and benefits of writing without a strict form in free verse. 5. Reflect on the emotions and experiences expressed in your free verse poem.
Quiz: Assessment on limericks, the AABBA rhyme scheme, and the principles of free verse.
Week 4: Free Verse and Acrostic Poetry
Day 1: Embracing Free Verse - Activity: Analyze diverse free verse poems for individual expression. - Lecture: Discuss famous free verse poets and their impact on the genre. - Discussion: Share personal reactions to the artistic freedom of free verse.
Day 2: Crafting Emotion in Free Verse - Activity: Write a free verse poem expressing a specific emotion. - Lecture: Explore the role of emotions in free verse and the use of vivid imagery. - Discussion: Share and discuss individual poems, highlighting emotional impact.
Day 3: Understanding Acrostic Poetry - Activity: Analyze acrostic poems for clever wordplay. - Lecture: Explain the concept of acrostic poetry and its various forms. - Discussion: Share examples of creative acrostic poems.
Day 4: Writing Exercise - Personal Acrostic - Activity: Craft an acrostic poem using your name or a chosen word. - Assignment: Write an acrostic poem exploring a theme or concept. - Vocabulary Words: Strophe, Stanza, Consonance.
Day 5: Peer Review and Feedback - Activity: Peer review workshop for acrostic poems. - Lecture: Discuss the playfulness and creativity of acrostic poetry. - Discussion: Share insights gained from reviewing peers' acrostic poems.
Study Guide Questions for Week 4: 1. Explore the role of emotions in free verse poetry. How does it differ from structured forms? 2. Discuss the impact of vivid imagery in free verse. How does it contribute to the overall message? 3. What defines acrostic poetry, and how is it different from other forms? 4. How can clever wordplay enhance the impact of an acrostic poem? 5. Reflect on the creative process and thematic exploration in your acrostic poem.
Quiz: Assessment on understanding free verse, emotional expression in poetry, and the principles of acrostic poetry.
submitted by adulting4kids to writingthruit [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 14:01 Zappingsbrew A post talking about 400 words

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satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.
submitted by Zappingsbrew to u/Zappingsbrew [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 13:37 cpw83 Song from the mid 90s - "How can we speak, communication is lost"

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for a song I've heard on German radio in the 90s several times, but I've never been able to identify it. Here's what I remember:
It was a somewhat quiet, slow, atmospheric song with as far as I remember not much more than a synthesizer pad playing a couple of chords on repeat - if there were any drums, they were very quiet in the background. Quite like very slow Drum 'n' Bass without the drum part, somewhat similar to Faithless. The overall mood was pretty melancholic and depressed. It featured a male, very deep, dark, aspirated voice that wasn't really singing as such, but rather rhythmically speaking, like reciting a poem, almost but not quite whispering - not at all like Rap / Hip Hop though.
I remember only bits of the lyrics, the main one being something like "How can we speak, (when?) communication is lost" or a variation of this, maybe "How can we talk" or "It's hard to speak". The only thing I'm pretty sure about is that the word "communication" was spoken/sung and the phrase started with "How can we ..." and then either speak or talk. I don't remember any other specific lyrics, but I'm quite sure the song was about some kind of relationship falling apart.
To be able to understand the lyrics at all I must have had at least some basic English skills, which would put this not earlier than around 1993, and I don't think the song is much older than that. I'd say the timeframe is roughly 1992 to 97.
I remember listening to it several times on our local radio station, so it must have been at least somewhat popular.
I slapped something together and uploaded it on Vocaroo: https://voca.ro/1k7PF7Tlcrjc
It's mainly about the rhythm pattern of the voice, so my hoarse mumbling is supposed to represent real lyrics that I don't remember at all. I think the voice in the song is much deeper than I can go with my voice, and much more "present" and "booming". The two synth chords I used are completely random and probably not at all like the original, but the overall sound characteristic of the synth should be at least close.
What I can rule out so far:
"Keep Talking" by Pink Floyd (it's close though, especially if you made it slower and replaced the guitar with a synth pad to make it sound less like Rock and more like electronic music)
"Sanctuary" by Madonna
"Funeral Party" by The Cure
"Telephone Call" by Kraftwerk
submitted by cpw83 to NameThatSong [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 03:55 Commercial_End_2351 My depression has officially drained all life out of me.

I’m not entirely sure why I’m writing this or what I hope to gain from it. There are many things wrong with me, and it feels overwhelming.
Here are some preliminary things about me to get as much context as possible. I'm 20 years old. I'm turning 21 in July. I'm Indian-American. I will graduate college half a year early in December in a subject I hate. I'm currently on anti-depressants (a small dosage).
At first, I thought my depression was just stress about the future or my obsession with a crush. I barely know him, and he’s more a character I've created in my mind. He’s probably straight. A losing game. I know I’m destined to be alone. I’m superficial and plagued by insecurities about my body that nothing can fix.
I’m not smart enough for STEM. Forget being average—I’m not even competent. This leaves me feeling like I have nothing else. Whatever small talent I have in writing seems useless because I lack the strength, willpower, and discipline to achieve anything significant.
Moreover, I hate my parents. I've realized that I've let their burdens unfairly affect me, and I feel guilty about this. I'm still grappling with whether this guilt, or even this hatred, is valid.
I’m always confused and tired, and sharing these feelings with others makes me uncomfortable. I have a therapist who makes me feel heard, but I don't think I've been improving through our sessions.
I've stopped being able to enjoy anything anymore. Writing poems helped for a bit, but now I get drained even thinking about doing anything. I wish time would stop. I wish my brain could just shut the fuck up and turn itself off.
I just don’t know anymore...
submitted by Commercial_End_2351 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 03:47 Commercial_End_2351 I just don’t know anymore

I’m not entirely sure why I’m writing this or what I hope to gain from it. There are many things wrong with me, and it feels overwhelming.
Here are some preliminary things about me to get as much context as possible. I'm 20 years old. I'm turning 21 in July. I'm Indian-American. I will graduate college half a year early in December in a subject I hate. I'm currently on anti-depressants (a small dosage).
At first, I thought my depression was just stress about the future or my obsession with a crush. I barely know him, and he’s more a character I've created in my mind. He’s probably straight. A losing game. I know I’m destined to be alone. I’m superficial and plagued by insecurities about my body that nothing can fix.
I’m not smart enough for STEM. Forget being average—I’m not even competent. This leaves me feeling like I have nothing else. Whatever small talent I have in writing seems useless because I lack the strength, willpower, and discipline to achieve anything significant.
Moreover, I hate my parents. I've realized that I've let their burdens unfairly affect me, and I feel guilty about this. I'm still grappling with whether this guilt, or even this hatred, is valid.
I’m always confused and tired, and sharing these feelings with others makes me uncomfortable. I have a therapist who makes me feel heard, but I don't think I've been improving through our sessions.
I've stopped being able to enjoy anything anymore. Writing poems helped for a bit, but now I get drained even thinking about doing anything. I wish time would stop. I wish my brain could just shut the fuck up and turn itself off.
I just don’t know anymore...
submitted by Commercial_End_2351 to depression [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 22:31 Alert-Republic8874 in and out of hospital for the past month and a half

I (f, 22) just wanted to vent somewhere people will actually understand. I’ve been dealing with GP for about 4 years now and finally got diagnosed last year, i had the botox injection in september and was in hospital for around a month, didn’t have to go back to a&e at all until the end of march where it all started happening again. for the first time in years i actually felt free and i was able to live as close to a normal life as i could, obviously being careful in what i ate and portion size but pretty much had freedom to eat what i wanted when i wanted and it just made me feel somewhat like a normal person.
since the end of march i’ve been in and out of hospital, i had another round of botox early april but that didn’t seem to help and the doctors couldn’t explain why, they said maybe it wasn’t injected in the right place or they didn’t use enough, they honestly were nearly as clueless as i was. in the end they decided to repeat the botox, that was just over a week ago. i was sent home the same day, had to go back to a&e later that evening, was sent home 2 days later and again was back in a&e that same evening. i’ve now been kept as an inpatient for a week and i’m still finding it hard to eat/drink without being sick and feeling really intense stomach pain, it gets to the point where i’m rolling around, crying and screaming in pain. doctors don’t seem to do much at all other than keep me on regular IV cyclizine and metoclopramide for sickness, subcutaneous morphine injections for the pain and a sliding scale to manage my T1DM.
when i was healthy for that october-march period i’d managed to gain some weight and was around 50kg, a week ago i was back to the godforsaken 46kg i seemed to always be stuck at before, and now i’ve gone down to 43kg which has been really disheartening and has taken a toll on my mental health. i felt i was doing so well, not only had i gained weight but also muscle, i was exercising more than i ever could have before and even walking 10-12km a day, now i can barely walk down the hall without feeling drained. i managed to get a job which i was doing quite well at and it was my first job, at 22, because i could never get hired before due to being so unreliable with my condition, luckily they understand what i have to deal with as it is my boyfriend’s family business.
i don’t know, everything is just making me feel really down and depressed and all i want is to be able to go home and go back to my life. staff at hospital also don’t help, the majority are nice but i still get comments from certain nurses who accuse me of faking to get medication or who complain when i’m crying as i’m “disturbing others” when there’s nothing i can do. i hate the way my body looks again, i hate the gap between my thighs and how i can see my ribs and bony shoulders. i hate my arms even more, all the bruises and needle marks from blood tests and IV drips, it makes me look like a junkie and i find myself crying because of it a lot.
i’ve been referred to another hospital for a consultation regarding a G-POEM but still haven’t heard from them yet. it’s just getting to the point where i’m feeling so hopeless and helpless. i’ve also been put back on anti depressants and taking diazepam regularly to help with the anxiety and distress it all causes.
at home i smoke weed, a decent amount, which helps with my appetite and also helps with my mental health struggles but obviously being in hospital i haven’t been able to smoke which makes everything so much worse as i don’t have anything to distract myself from what’s happening. some days smoking is the only thing that will get me to eat and keep me from having anxiety toward food.
my boyfriend (m, 29) and his family have been really supportive and they’re pretty much the only reason i haven’t spiraled into a full on mental health crisis, he visits nearly everyday and so does his mother who has been such a huge support for me as my own family aren’t there for me. i actually asked my mother if she would come visit me, i knew she wouldn’t, but i did it anyway, she came up with a bullshit excuse as to why she couldn’t and that nearly broke me because i was already feeling so low and on top of that i then felt rejected by my own mother, i should’ve known better but at that moment i just needed my mom. the one who came through for me that day was my boyfriend’s mom who came to see me as soon as she found out how upset i was, she held me, she let me cry and hugged me so tightly and reassured me i was loved and cared for. she’s truly been the mother i needed through this.
i know that i can be somewhat healthy and live almost normally, but right now things are just so bleak and i’m struggling to see a way out, all i want is to just be normal, it’s all i’ve wanted my entire life and it’s like no matter what i will never get that. i’ve had T1DM since i was 9 with 2 diabetes related comas under my belt by age 10, PTSD, depression, and anxiety since 12, and the GP since i was 18, it’s like i can’t catch a break. no one understands what it’s like but i keep getting told “i get it” or “i relate to that” and i know people are trying to make me feel better but to me it just comes across as diminishing what i’m going through and have been going through for so long. I was also recently told just how bad my GP is and i just couldn’t stop crying for hours, i was always told it was ‘severe’ but now i know that i have 96% retention after 4 hours and all it did was make me feel even more hopeless.
sorry for the long post, i just really don’t know where else to go where people might ACTUALLY understand what i’m going through
submitted by Alert-Republic8874 to Gastroparesis [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 18:49 shaneka69 KEEP GOING

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submitted by shaneka69 to PostYourBlogLinks [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 17:07 spirosven Entry #1

Loneliness is still time spent with the world.
Woken up by the usual anxiety attack. Lying in bed feeling like sinking into an agonizing void. It has been two weeks since I broke up, but today hit hard.
You see the hardest part of it all is the loneliness. A loneliness I alone created. I've been living abroad for three years now. Had no friends back there made no new friends here. No people to account for and the one I had is now gone.
Anxiety, depression and loneliness are all here once again. Keeping me company in this empty space I called home. I keep repeating loneliness is still time spent with the world.
It has been a week now since I started smoking again. Like a metronome, every time, when this calamity of my own design happens, I find comfort in lighting a cig and smoking my lungs away. Pointless as it never lasts long. I gaze the city skyline as I did with my person from the balcony we shared many laughs. All those nights. Masochist.
The anxiety uses all of this to tear you apart. Trully shatter you, your heart, your will. You try to make this inanimate pain into something, something tangible, tearing your nails apart until they are bloody. And as an insult to injury, you hate this. These fingers that you told yourself will hold your lover's; embrace your friends; hold flowers; write poems. They but wipe the tears of your face.
And at the end of the day you lie once again in the bed you made for yourself. Alone. Questioning how it all came down to this. But you get no answer.
Loneliness is still time spent with the world.
submitted by spirosven to creativewriting [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 14:44 adulting4kids Poetry Class Week Seven

Week 7: Limericks and Acrostic Poetry - Lecture and Discussion
Objective: - Explore the whimsical nature of limericks and the creative use of acrostic poetry. - Understand the structure and humor in limericks. - Discuss the artistic possibilities of using acrostic forms.
Day 1: Introduction to Limericks - Lecture: - Definition and characteristics of limericks. - Explanation of the AABBA rhyme scheme and humorous themes.
Day 2: Analyzing Limericks - Part 1 - Lecture: - In-depth analysis of classic limericks. - Exploration of the distinctive rhythm and structure.
Day 3: Analyzing Limericks - Part 2 - Lecture: - Discussing modern variations and themes in limericks. - Exploring the versatility of the form.
Day 4: Crafting Limericks - Part 1 - Lecture: - Step-by-step guide on crafting the first three lines of a limerick. - Emphasis on establishing humor and rhythm.
Day 5: Crafting Limericks - Part 2 - Lecture: - Step-by-step guide on crafting the final two lines of a limerick. - Emphasis on creating resolution and punchline.
Homework Assignment: - Craft a limerick focusing on a humorous scenario or theme.
Study Guide Questions: 1. Reflect on the challenges of crafting the first three lines of your limerick. How did you establish humor and rhythm? 2. How did you approach creating resolution and a punchline in the final two lines of your limerick? 3. What insights did you gain from the process of crafting a limerick?
Quiz: Assessment on the understanding of limericks, their AABBA rhyme scheme, and the use of humor within the concise form.
Day 6: Introduction to Acrostic Poetry - Lecture: - Definition and characteristics of acrostic poetry. - Exploration of arranging words vertically to create hidden messages.
Day 7: Analyzing Acrostic Poetry - Part 1 - Lecture: - In-depth analysis of classic acrostic poems. - Exploration of the different approaches to selecting and arranging words.
Day 8: Analyzing Acrostic Poetry - Part 2 - Lecture: - Discussing modern variations and themes in acrostic poetry. - Exploring the diverse ways poets engage with vertical arrangements.
submitted by adulting4kids to writingthruit [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 14:19 adulting4kids Poetry

  1. Sonnet:
  1. Haiku:
  1. Villanelle:
  1. Limerick:
  1. Free Verse:
  1. Acrostic:
  1. Ghazal:
  1. Tanka:
  1. *Cinquain:
  1. Pantoum:
- *Definition:* A poem with repeating lines and a specific pattern, often used for reflection. - *Example:* Craft a pantoum exploring the cyclical nature of life and change. 
submitted by adulting4kids to writingthruit [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 12:00 Educational_Hawk7036 Free

Free
I wrote this up and went to nap and well it was interesting (the nap was on the 5th). I only took an 8 minute nap which is enough for me to either dream or get stuck in the in between which still rests my body enough - I have narcolepsy and when tested, my average for going into REM sleep was 2 minutes.
Anyway, near immediate after closing my eyes I’m dreaming and asking for Morpheus and I look over at a male sitting beside me. Pretty quick despite his appearance, I call him out saying it’s not him. Usually when Morpheus visits, his appearance is vivid, sturdy, fully dark clothed and solid despite the ethereal and warmth he brings.
The character was too fuzzy and didn’t have morpheus’s usual dark features - I caught a better look at him once I realized I was dreaming and leaned forward to look at him. He laughed and agreed and I laughed, him saying ‘well I almost got you!’ So, I ask him if Morpheus was busy and he nodded. I asked if he thought Morpheus would like the poem I wrote because I was going to make it into a silly lil collage for funsies and I had quietly read it earlier for Morpheus to hear at some point as a sort of prayer or whatever.
The man groans and goes on a rant about how poetry is bland and stupid and overused. Saying there’s no combination of words that he (also referencing any ancient deity) hasn’t heard or seen by humans — overall lacking. Nothing new to gain from poetry was what he said. He suggested I write a soliloquy. He pronounced it wrong but I knew what he meant and I said that I would think on it. Nonetheless, I made the collage and thought you guys might like it.
I can’t lie, having narcolepsy and having to battle to stay awake, I wake up often wishing I could have stayed in the dreaming. The ache and pain - both physically and mentally - of trying to stay awake is very hard. I know I’m a lil more depressed rn and yes I do have support and see a therapist which I have spoken to about this. I do find a lot of solace and peace in the Dreaming since I’m pretty sure I’m never in the same place each time and sometimes I do revisit the same or when a sleep attack comes on and I’m stuck, I can astral project (or I’m crazy and it’s all just narcolepsy despite lmao seeing and knowing things I shouldn’t). Plus, the visits I have gotten from Morpheus have been very positive and helpful. I’m working on loving reality again.
submitted by Educational_Hawk7036 to MorpheusGodOfDreams [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 23:17 omegaMKXIII 31 [M4F] Austria/Europe - Looking for my forever lady

I am looking for a lady between 25 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner, training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with an avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or at a football game and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I'm looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus, emotional and intimate compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals and ideally, you do too.
Apparently in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well.
Second, intimate compatibility. I am rather insatiable and love to experiment when it comes to the bedroom, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, this kind of fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. I found the term 'filthy best friends and partners' to be a perfect description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
I’d prefer to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself.
Caveats
If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:
submitted by omegaMKXIII to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 17:50 DomDommm_ Fantasy book with a countdown of the days before a terrible ceremony, a boy trying to save a girl

Good morning,
I'm looking for a fantasy book that I read when I was a teenager, so about 15 years ago. Part of what I will say next may be false or distorted.
It was a series of at least 3 books, maybe 4.
From memory, the cover was black with a little green.
The story took place in a small town, where a kid befriended a weird girl who lived in a mansion with her family. She was rather depressed and wrote tortured poems. The boy wanted to help him.
There was a story with a ceremony that was to take place where the girl was the centerpiece, it had to do with the moon. Besides, in the book, each chapter told us the number of days remaining before the ceremony, because something terrible had to happen (something was happening to the girl but I don't remember what). Plus, the girl may be called as a creature (really not sure about this).
If anyone can help me I will be forever grateful!
submitted by DomDommm_ to whatsthatbook [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 14:17 JenLeigh77 What Emojis Would You Use to Describe Each Song On TTPD? Game time! 🤍

Game Time, Fun Time!! 🤍 What Emoji(s) Would You Use To Describe Your Favorite Song(s) on the TTPD Album!
These are just some quick ones that came to my mind, on multiple songs. I still have some songs 🎵 to do! I hope one of the emojis helps pick some for TTPD. 🤍
🖊- Pen~ TTPD
📃 ~ paper for poets to write poems
✍️ ~ Writing
🤍 ~ White Heart to match Fortnight Video Colors
🎩 ~ Top hat for Fortnight ~ All the people wearing top hats in the Fortnight Video.
🎭 ~ TTPD
💊 ~ Fortnight ~ The Forget Him Pill & the ineundos that drugs were more important than her. Who's Afraid of little old me ~ "Putting narcotics into all of my songs."
🔮 ~ "I Can Read Your Mind," for I can do it with a broken heart. 🔮 ~ Guilty as Sin ~ "I'm seeing visions, am I bad?
🎂 or 🎈~ I can do it with a broken heart. "I'm so depressed I act like it's my birthday everyday." 💔 ~ "I Can do it with a broken heart." 📸 "Lights camera action b**** smile."
LOML ~ 💋👰🏼‍♀️ 💒~ "You and I go from one kiss to gettin married." 🪦~ Still alive, killing time at the cemetery never quite buried."
🧪 or 🔬 ~ Chemistry for Alchemy 👑 ~ Alchemy "Ditch the crown." 🏆 ~ Alchemy "Trophy." 🏈 ~ Alchemy 🛬 ~ Alchemy "Touchdown" reference.
🌹~ Clara Bow "You'd be picked like a rose"
🫧 ~ Down Bad "Cosmic Love"
👰🏼‍♀️ ~ But Daddy I Love Him
🔮 ~ Guilty as Sin ~ "I'm seeing visions, am I bad? 🔐 ~ "I dream of cracking locks."
Florida ~ 🌀 "The hurricane with my name when it came..."
Who's Afraid of Little Old Me ~ Levitate down your street ~ 😈 🧹 🕸 ~ "So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs." 😱 ~ "Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream Who's afraid of little old me?" 🤪 ~ "They call me crazy."
I feel like these emojis could fit in somewhere? ~ 🏹 💠
submitted by JenLeigh77 to TTPD [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 12:19 omegaMKXIII 31 [M4F] Austria/Europe - Looking for my forever lady

General
I am looking for a lady between 25 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
Basics
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner (ranging from 5k to full marathon), training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with a fearful avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or in the stadium watching football and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I'm looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus (and there have to be at least a couple things we have in common), emotional and intimate compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals (some of which in quite a litteral sense as they make for really amazing pillows) and ideally, you do too.
There is a saying that in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly, like I said, need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well – this just to put the picture I'm (somewhat haphazardly) trying to paint into perspective.
Second, intimate compatibility. I am rather insatiable, curious and love to experiment when it comes to the bedroom, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, this kind of fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. Someone on here has coined the term 'filthy best friends and partners' which I have no shame to be stealing because it's such an apt description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. I love the relationship model outlined in Stan Tatkin’s ‘Wired for Love’ and you should, too. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. I know codependency is the latest thing everyone’s afraid of, but experiencing someone you’ve grown very attached to just bailing because they’re counterdependent and can’t stand working on themselves while simultaneously letting you in is something I’d rather not go through again. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere. If you think’s it’s okay to lovebomb someone and then leave after a couple of months with the minimum amount of information and no proper conversation because you’re not ready to own up to what’s happening to you emotionally, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, be opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: many childfree people seem to be adventurous, but that is a trait I don't associate with myself at all. I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, seeing them change around us, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side (albeit not regarding height), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
The natural progression for me would be to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but having my heart broken because I already developed feelings due to a longer timeframe and then everything unexpectedly turning to shit is not something I want to have to live through again. I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself, I unfortunately had to learn that.
Caveats/Possible red flags
If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:
submitted by omegaMKXIII to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 04:54 KarateSnoopy1911 Depression that appears to be withheld by historical trauma

Hi, this is my first post in reddit and subreddit Healthygamergg. Doesn't mean this post is less or more complex to read or write.
WARNING: HIGHLY DENSE NONSENSE IN STUFF HERE! AHH!! Warn!
Reason: Autism causes high levels of word jargon possibility. Some instances of the disorder will result in inability of capability of knonof of apwors. gjaaep[kf. I've been here for 15 years and english has been only language but no word knowledge! Thank ypb;./
At the age of 15, I have a ominous feeling of being internally old resulting into the feeling of 'too old for anything anymore', while also feeling that the world is not real, instead being virtual/digital or similar to the same reality-feeling dreaming, and that I am not real, instead being a controlled character (Playable Character) by an autonomous player, or a person from the future is using their dyson sphere (a device that covers a star for energy) to relive their far earlier, yet simple life like a dream. These two feelings, the first one like a depressive and anhedonic (without pleasure) symptom, and the second one looks like Depersonaliztion-Derealization Disorder, are not likely to be a normal feeling of a 15 year old. (Btw, the fact that this is my first post also doesn't mean you have less of an excuse to report in case of rule break. Teach me lessons! I am DERP!)
Here's a table of what might be my mental disorders (feel free to read only names, as critical amount of word stability is reductioned by matter multiplyed by speed of light squared minus energy):
Loading executive functioning...
WARNING! These words disintergrate into stupid soup sometime! I find it insulting to myself of the level of uncapability, so some of you may be annoyance at the level of un read!
Mental/Emotional Disorder Amount of diagnosis (Any diagnosis listed here is worse representation of experience than experience of professional) Likely linked Experience (sorry, no ability to show what disorder is doing)
Autism Diagnosed with autism test by professional, mild presentation (powerpoint slide number two thousand and fininjps) !!NO WORDS!! Constantly claiming they/I are more educated in autism than other kids who say autism or [other person] is so autistic. Commonly has a disconnect between thought of words and used words (I should use the words 'skill of communication'!). Rambling and poor writing skills (algj iaodyc9b!? ieeee??). Finds (meta jokes to be funny (Where am i?) )? Likely involved in the important process of random information hallucination and execution on nonsense.
ADHD Diagnosed within autism test, mild and inattentive presentation. (Hypotheized to not be real by noone, but likely has a bad name) (My ADHD likely doesn't represent ADHD.) Nonely applicability (N/A). Experiences the need of perfectionism while not perfecting anything. Stimulants have a minor effect on performance. Makes too many things to do and too little time for sequential follow through (~0 seconds of follow through per task)
Alexithymia Semi-personal self diagnosis and trient-professional screener test from therapist that results were reasonably high. (this isn't even a disorder!?! Just a indicator of other disorders?) (Likely exists in me) Ability to interpret emotions after possible emotions processed into one is not impaired, but difficulty with determining whether emotional state is null ("business as usual") or is somehow slowly accumulating with errors. Commonly results in "Ah, but i think about things in third person instead of say feelings" when talking to my therapist and in these current words.
Anhedonia Personal, ominous, spooky, scary self diagnosis (skeletons). Likely mild persentation? IDK, i'm no good diagnonal. (Might exists) (Context: currently using fluxotine (please go to lined professional for treatment plane), which likely increases energy, then confidence without directly affecting happiness.) Boredom! No likee gaem! Only want do good, fun work. No happy other! Still do videogame? Confusing gamer, good game! ERR10192: low writing process paios lnogs. Final word: BOREDOM!!!! End log of personality instance [redacted]. Note on the high levels of dislike in non-personally relative to or non-serotonergic activities, but dislike has not been able to be correlated with actual inability of action. This is likely on the basis that the dissasociative disorders don't allow acknowledgement of happy or unhappy, just unknown.
Major Depressive Disorder Personal self diagonsis, (uh, uhm actually it's Mild Major Depressive Disorder). (as it's your major, huh? Depressive Disorder?) (Might exists due to unlikely remain) Everything is just so dysfunctional! So stupid. The rock is stupid, the computer is stupid, etc. It's stupid because when I look at it as a tool, the few options for how to use it are too limited. Not even these disorders are smart, as they kind of just disintergrated for me when I lowerd my diassociation. Either that, or I'm too young and old at the same time for any of this "hur durr I am sad because I thought the world was stupid" I said to myself. Your experience may vary, 0/10, made me less depressed.
Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder Personal unself not real diagnosis. If it was mild, it would feel more real, as if that's a real thing (Insert sterotype here, as if thats a real thing). Wait, my therapist talked about this disorder as if it's terrible?!? AHHH! RUNN! Anyways, what was real again? Wait, You're telling me i'm in a? WOW! ...[more third person single sided conservation ensues] Apparently DDD is associated with disorders ("Mood, anxiety and personality disorders are often comorbid with depersonalisation disorder..." -NIH) Unpersonally, I don't understand the long term effects of having the higher comorbidity.
Decisive Historical Disasociative Trauma This disorder doesn't even exist! These are just unreal words being made into abstract concepts by poorly connected neurons! This disorder is the decisive stage of highly disasociative historical trauma, and unless in the future is invented, it doesn't exist. However, the current autism expert in the local area of the keyboard producing these words predicts it might mean more than at first glance: not just nonsense. N/A
Now that you are likely educated in undefined, let us (lettuce) go (please) back to the current topic: my depressive disorder that is so annoyed at my something?

Part two: What even is trauma?

Spoiler:>! Here's the spoiler: I don't know!!<
Hmm... I don't know?
2.2: What is historical trauma? What's your perspective on it?
Historical trauma is the trauma that affects people in the future due to being highly significant.
Based on the possible fact that trauma is passable by genetics due to the enabling or disabling of genes, find out more by looking at whatever Epigenetics (the process of researching the way the environment affects your DNA that isn't simply DNA sequence through evolution) is, I assume that the historical significance of a trauma makes generational and historical trauma last longer or binarly/linearly activate. This means bad for me, good for people who need to escape trauma back in day of tribal danger basics and maybe guide for trauma is good for people who need to escape trauma back in my day of digital nonsense that was clicky click instead of dyson sphere!

Part three: Doctor K! Alok! Kanojia! The timetraveling trauma is going to get me and other peoples!!

How spook.
[Likely loss of any cognition of writen words at current locational timeline of word string. Barrier cross analysis reveals extreme errors. determinable action is to not care, as extreme disrepair is not solvable by non normal executable actions of the problems resulting in the writing issues in the place of the problem.]
Urga burga! (likely expresses anger, more a chant, likely a fake word) Once, I was this age. Then, I once typed out these words to a therapeutic value. I remembered the one time when I was 6 or 7, and a feeling that indicated something like anhedonia and or depression, a deep boredom of all things functional in my life, happened to me at the time of sitting in a chair at school. I apparently lost lots of energy after that, but the few memories that stayed and are still easily acessible without requirement of remindecontext clues don't really show the process, so I assumed it was just a slow process.
Soon after getting my autism diagnosis and inattentive ADHD due to the autism making me have speech delays, the therapist that was going to get me on the mental health help used the DSM-5 to show I had the mild Major Depressive Disorder. Going to the doctors who I was getting not-so-effective ADHD treatment at the time (it's more effective now), I was talking to a simple yet likely complex life of healthcare doctor about my mental issues, but they talked about Anhedonia and how that sounds like that, just that I was too young to determine plan of action for how to fix such a complicated disorder. Learning what Anhedonia meant, I went to school and summarized the five mental disorders I knew of me having at the time, which didn't have the Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder but had Alexithymia, inside of a text based reading app where you click on the buttons to learn about how the mental disorders affected me or something. Next, I learned about Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder, which when mentioned to the therapist, they thought it was not a normal thing, not normal at all for a child.
Next, I was getting more concerned how long ADHD medication would take to treat my problems. I already knew about HealthyGamerGG, but I hadn't yet gotten the guide to mental health. Also, I was getting more and more concerned about how long I would want to be treated with the problems. So, I got the guide, but when I eventually learned about Doshas, the three elements that abstractly represent how the mental disorders work, I found something spooky.
The Major Depressive Disorder I thought was so 'la lah lahh la!' was actually a cyclic process that brought inattentive ADHD when it was depressive, and somewhat depression when it wasn't. I understood this because it seemed as though if I didn't take action, it would threaten to make me sadder, and even when I did take action to reverse it, it would still require double the amount it requires to go from a downer to an neutral. This was also noticeable in that the Vata Dosha was being affected whenever I did this action, and I then correctly assumed it was because I was a Vata by how my Vata was always increasing for many of the actions I took, showing my personality to be equipped for that specificly. This showed how my Vata being inactive when the 'cyclic depression' was active looked like inattentive ADHD. Next, the cylic property of the depression made it obvious it wasn't Vata, it wasn't Kapha, so it was likely a Pitta depression in it's behavioral property. I noted that observing it's reasoning for depression or source brought my mind back to when I was 6 or 7 of age and had suddenly gotten the sadness, the world could've seemed illogical or nonsensical, but it almost certainly seemed without smart function, then without 'good' function looking back. I saw how the Vata was affected by the depression, so I thought that the depression was more the cause of it's symptom of ADHD instead of a symptom of ADHD. This meant it was surely easy to treat now, right?
So far, I haven't been able to get back to the pediatrican who perscribed the fluxotine, as that's later on in the week, but for now, one thing I know, is that the final plot twist of this EPIC poem... is that i'm likely traumatized from being Native American.

Part Finale: "KarateSnoopy1911, I am your Rescuer, Persecutor, and Victim." - Problems and inevitable drama triangle, showing...

"Oh no! it's me, something that can include everything else, and everything everywehere!" - Me, and somewhere else!
Drama really sounds like Dharma, but it's different because one is simple funny and one is funnily simple. "Anyways, what is trauma again" - Demoysis, the non-complete idea of a game I would make.
But wait! If I am meant to be typing about trauma... and I'm typing about nonsense... What happened to me??
Native Americans have problem. The Europeans are problem. How do solve Europeans? Nonsense! No able to solve europeans...
Anyways, I was kind of rambling... Native Americans have been deeply affected by the mass removal of land, people, cultures, and normal well being in America. So far, I've been able to see three affected people in my family, who is my mother of my mom which had two alcholic parents and then seemingly had issues with emotional expression and processing, which then affected my mom, and my dad's father was also an alcoholic, in someway affecting my dad. This means there are three close people to me (my dad's father idk where he is, likely dud) who are affected by the introduction of problems and the coping mechanism of drinking alcohol without genetical adaptation. However, It's not as if even if the people close to me stopped being altered by issues of the past then all sad Native Americans would stop saddening.
I think my main concern with all of this is that I feel awfully similarly disasociative to my mom, being confused what my emotions are and then what that means for my depression that kept my inattentive AttentionDeficitHyperactivityDisorder keeping me away from my depression that was kept in place by the trauma which was kept in place by the two dissasociative disorders... It looks like a big mess in a model, however I think the thing is that the more disorders are interacting, the less it's one disorder and the more it's multiple disorders that want different directions. The general problems in the Europe-like society with all those cars and those city closeness issues and the big clunky clunk house problem, then the digital device confusion of brain zap cause those general trauma errors be danger when no emotional smart.

Conclusion!!!

"Whats up guys!! This is influencer #1908672 making YOU really influenced or something! I want you to conclude that dissasociation is lead to bad or something!!!! What do you community think??? Bye!! I gotta work on myself and so many other problems that occur in weekends like the gaming and the look at the Trauma Problem Solution Plane 5d chess!! IF you liked this Autism interactive interesting Reddit Post, Keep it on here and blah blah blah blah...."
Alok Kanojia, release thine 5/20/2024 Trauma module to thy world!!!
WARNNIG. LOW AMOUNTS OF CRITICISIM NOTICED AT TIME OF CLICKING POST. NON COMPLAISANT WITH DIFFICULTY REGULATION #810697121-17876 WILL RESULT IN [???] AND [INDEX ERROR] AT TIME [INT OVERFLOW ERROR]
WARNING. HIGH LEVELS OF NON COMPLASIANCE WITH STANDARD LEVEL OF WRITING ERRORS. THE PUNISHMENT OF THIS IS [unknown] AND [index lost] AT TIME [no time context level]
Likely cause of error log naug8 was due to high levels of non complaisance with energy costly numero syntax error. this result in result in result in result in result.
submitted by KarateSnoopy1911 to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 02:54 omegaMKXIII [M4F] Austria/Europe - Looking for my forever lady

General
I am looking for a lady between 28 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I tried to be as concise as possible while still providing what details I think are crucial to know; I realise this post turned out very long, but I prefer those because I can get as good an idea as possible with detailed descriptions, bar actually talking to the person, and find that very valuable, so if that also applies to you, that would be awesome.
Basics
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner (ranging from 5k to full marathon), training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with a fearful avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or in the stadium watching football and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I am looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus (and there have to be at least a couple things we have in common), emotional and sexual compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals (some of which in quite a litteral sense as they make for really amazing pillows) and ideally, you do too.
There is a saying that in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly, like I said, need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well – this just to put the picture I'm (somewhat haphazardly) trying to paint into perspective.
Second, sexual compatibility. I have a high libido and I have kinks, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy them together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, sexual fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. Someone on here has coined the term 'filthy best friends and partners' which I have no shame to be stealing because it's such an apt description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. I love the relationship model outlined in Stan Tatkin’s ‘Wired for Love’ and you should, too. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. I know codependency is the latest thing everyone’s afraid of, but experiencing someone you’ve grown very attached to just bailing because they’re counterdependent and can’t stand working on themselves while simultaneously letting you in is something I’d rather not go through again. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere. If you think’s it’s okay to lovebomb someone and then leave after a couple of months with the minimum amount of information and no proper conversation because you’re not ready to own up to what’s happening to you emotionally, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, be opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: many childfree people seem to be adventurous, but that is a trait I don't associate with myself at all. I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, seeing them change around us, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side (albeit not regarding height), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
The natural progression for me would be to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but having my heart broken because I already developed feelings due to a longer timeframe and then everything unexpectedly turning to shit is not something I want to have to live through again. I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself, I unfortunately had to learn that
Caveats/Possible red flags
If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:
submitted by omegaMKXIII to cf4cf [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 01:17 ResponsibilitySad331 A Victim of Online Fiction - Ch15: Bad ties

Have you ever jumped into cold water on a hot day? Have you ever ridden an asteroid across the surface of the sun? Have you ever done a backflip off the moon and landed in a bucket of water in Vatican City? If so, then you’ve experienced one-tenth of what I experienced the moment I took that pill.
My headache disappeared, my heart started pumping, adrenaline and pure energy flowed through my veins instead of blood. My fingers twitched and my mind moved at three times the speed of light.
I fell back on my chair, flew towards my desk and danced my fingers like I was playing the keyboard. Chapters fell before me like grass in front of a chainsaw.
I cranked out TEN chapters in three hours. And that’s not just writing them either that’s editing them multiple times, adding extra hyperboles, and making the first 31 sentences and the title into acrostic poems that read: Alex has shit ties.
It was heavenly.
After dusting off my 11th chapter I stood, did a couple of yoga poses and then took off out of my front door for a run.
Now, everyone has a weakness, Superman’s got his kryptonite, Achilles has his heel, I have physical exercise. Usually, the thought of going for a run would make me want to chop my legs off. But those crazy little pills made the sad-sad go away. I was flying past houses, high-fiving bushes and waving to people as I roamed the streets like an exercise junkie.
My god-like strides took me through the suburbs of The Village through to the centre of town where Sherlock-Holmes themed coffee shops and Wuxia-themed teahouses dominated the streets. Writers sat in booths talking and hacking away at tablets and laptops, while cover artists drew mythical figures in between shots of espresso.
There was a hard-working bustle about the place. Little box-like robots wheeled their way out from a boutique distribution centre to people’s homes carrying boxes of wine, cheese, and steaming meals.
I slowed my run and sat back on a bench beside a rose bush. Birds were chirping and there was a hum of music from the cafes. It was heaven.
That night Manuel was back at my house and we walked three blocks over to a giant log cabin and another party. The next morning I took a pill, busted out eight chapters and went for another run. As the weeks flew by I attended more parties than I’d ever been to in my life, smashed out over a hundred chapters and grew dark rings around my eyes.
And then one day I met her.
****
This time we’d been invited to a pool party in the early evening. Manuel was sucking up to a bunch of new authors, and I was drinking beer with a bunch of horror writers while watching two guys beside the pool punching each other in the face over the use of Oxford commas. I didn’t know who was in the right – the guy whose eye was bruised, red, and puffy – or the guy with a swollen, red lump on his forehead.
Turns out, it didn’t really matter because they both paused mid-swing to stare at someone behind me.
In walked a woman in a white turtleneck, and large round glasses. Four other writers dressed in full tweed suits flanked her. Heads turned. Famous web fiction writers who I hadn’t worked up the courage to talk to were whispering to each other and pointing to the woman in white.
The horror writers next to me were trying to look disinterested but I could see them peering at her out of the corner of their eyes.
‘Hey Stephen,’ I poked a tall guy in the arm, ‘who’s that?’
Stephen laughed, ‘Good one man.’
‘I’m being serious dude, why’s everyone staring?’
Stephen hissed his next sentence like he was embarrassed others would hear, ‘Man. That’s the emperor of this place – the most read author in the whole of Crusher Media, that’s...’
‘...Lazy Cultivator? The guy that writes the chicken story.’
Stephen nodded, ‘Only – she’s not a guy.’
‘I guess I should say hi,’ I got out of my seat just as Stephen put his arm up to form a barrier.
‘Dude!’ He said, 'You, me, all of us,’ he gestured around the circle of horror writers, ‘We’re dirt.’ A couple of the guys clinked their beers and took a swig. Stephen pressed a finger into my chest, ‘We don’t talk to people like her. We don’t even look at her. This place has a hierarchy and man, you are the mud that hierarchy sits on.
I swallowed, ‘Good to know I’m appreciated then.’
Stephen shrugged, ‘Just letting you know the way things are dude.’
The tweed-wearers and their leader moved through the party like blue whales through a school of shrimp. A group of romance writers cleared out of their chairs beside the pool and the gang sat down and produced bottles of champagne from a wine cooler. The woman in white pulled a pair of VR glasses, a wireless keyboard, and a purple pill bottle from her bag, then she slipped a pill between her teeth, pulled the VR glasses over her face and started hacking away at the keyboard so rapidly she broke off one of the keys.
I swallowed, ‘She doesn’t come to parties often?’
Stephen shook his head, ‘not the sort of parties the rest of us get invited to. But... I’ve heard stories.’
I nodded slowly, my forehead was beginning to hurt the way it always did when the orange pills wore off. I took the orange pill container out of my pocket and shook it. There was no comforting tap of pills on the side.
I spun the lid open. It was empty.
My hands started to sweat. I got up, knocking over Stephen’s beer. He yelled at me, but I just waved an apology. I made a beeline straight for Manuel who was chatting to a bunch of fresh writers.
‘Hey, Eli,’ he said, wrapping an arm around me, ‘You guys heard of ElitheHill?’
A couple of the new writers grinned, one guy stuck out his hand, but my headache was getting worse with every second.
‘Manuel,’ I hissed, ‘I need some pills man.’
Manuel raised an eyebrow, ‘What?’
‘I need them now, my head...’ I stopped and rubbed one of my eyes, ‘I need the orange pills man.’
Manuel nodded, ‘Yeah, I’ll get you some man – in the morning.’ he wrapped his arm around me, ‘Come on man, be cool, have a beer.’
I shook my head frantically, my hands trembled, ‘I need them now Manuel. Come on. You’ve got to have at least a pack on you.’
Manuel stared at me, his eyes suddenly seemed much colder, ‘Yeah. I got some, but they’re two thousand reads.’
‘Two thousand?’ I bit my lip, ‘Man, they were five hundred two days ago.’
He shrugged and pulled the orange container from his pocket ‘You want em? Or not?’
My hands were a pool of sweat, my head thumped like a drum and bass concert and my right eye was twitching.
‘Yeah,’ I snatched them from his hand, ‘I’ll get Alex to transfer to you tomorrow.’
Manuel nodded, ‘Now get lost,’ his smile returned as he looked to the young writers, ‘You’re scaring off the new kids!’
The others laughed.
I fumbled with the pill bottle and Manuel gave me a kick, ‘Man! Get out of here.’ His eyes were hard again.
I stumbled my way over to the toilet, kicked the door open and slammed it behind me. My hands shook as I twisted open the capsule. The toilet smelt like vomit. The lid gave a click, popped open and I shook two pills into my hand. I usually took one, but I felt like I deserved the extra hit after everything I’d been through. I shoved them in my mouth, threw my head back, and swallowed.
A moment later I had electricity flowing through my veins and lightning in my brain. When I kicked the door of the toilet open it was like the world was in 8k resolution. Colours and lights were sharper and more beautiful. Beethoven’s fifth symphony was playing, someone passed me who smelt of elderflower and sweet wine. I breathed in and started dancing.
****
My call with Alex the next day began with me reciting a poem about his ties that I made up on the spot. He was wearing a beetroot red tie and by the third verse, his face had gone the same colour. It took him a few minutes to calm down, but when he finally did he ended up being quite pleased.
‘I see you’ve been producing a lot of chapters Mr Hill, you’re also pulling in a lot of readers. My suggestion is that you should start stockpiling them, rather than just posting them as you finish, that way when you hit another of your dry spells, you’ll have a buffer to get your shit sorted.’
I grinned and pulled the orange pills from my jacket pocket, ‘I’m not going to have another slump.’ I tossed the pill bottle up and caught it behind my back without looking, ‘Alex, I have discovered the key to literary immortality.’
Alex’s smile wavered for a moment, then with an effort of brute force he manage to affix it back to his face.
‘I’m glad Mr Hill.’ he went silent for a moment, ‘Just be careful okay... with those chapters I mean... we don’t want you to get burnt out with nothing left in the can.’
I shrugged, shook the pill bottle again, ‘Don’t worry about me buddy – just keep transferring Manuel that money. Okay?’
Alex nodded and ended the call.
submitted by ResponsibilitySad331 to HFY [link] [comments]


2024.05.11 14:29 adulting4kids Week One Poetry

Week 1: Introduction to Poetry and Sonnets
Day 1: Overview of Poetry Styles - Activity: Icebreaker - Introduce yourself through a poetic name acrostic. - Lecture: Brief history of poetry, introduction to various styles. - Discussion: What draws you to poetry? Share your favorite poems.
Day 2: Understanding Sonnets - Activity: Analyze a classic sonnet together. - Lecture: Explanation of sonnet structure (Shakespearean and Petrarchan). - Discussion: Share initial impressions and feelings about sonnets.
Day 3: Writing Exercise - Crafting a Sonnet - Activity: Break down sonnet structure with examples. - Assignment: Write a sonnet exploring a personal experience or emotion. - Vocabulary Words: Quatrain, Couplet, Volta.
Day 4: Peer Review and Feedback - Activity: Peer review workshop for sonnets. - Lecture: Discuss common challenges and strategies in sonnet writing. - Discussion: Share insights gained from reviewing peers' work.
Day 5: Recap and Reflection - Activity: Reflect on the week's lessons and exercises. - Lecture: Overview of upcoming weeks. - Assignment: Write a short reflection on what you've learned about poetry and sonnets.
Study Guide Questions for Week 1: 1. What is the basic structure of a sonnet? 2. Compare and contrast Shakespearean and Petrarchan sonnets. 3. How does the volta contribute to the meaning of a sonnet? 4. Discuss the role of rhyme and meter in sonnets. 5. Explore your personal connection to poetry. What emotions or themes resonate with you?
Quiz: A short quiz assessing understanding of sonnet structure, key terms, and the historical context of poetry.
Week 2: Embracing Haiku and Villanelle
Day 1: Understanding Haiku - Activity: Analyze classic haikus. - Lecture: Explain the traditional structure and themes of haikus. - Discussion: Share thoughts on the simplicity and depth of haikus.
Day 2: Crafting Haikus - Activity: Write haikus individually. - Lecture: Discuss the significance of nature in haikus. - Discussion: Share and discuss individual haikus.
Day 3: Unraveling the Villanelle - Activity: Analyze a famous villanelle. - Lecture: Explore the structure and repetition in villanelles. - Discussion: Discuss the impact of repeated lines on the overall theme.
Day 4: Writing Exercise - Composing a Villanelle - Activity: Break down the process of crafting a villanelle. - Assignment: Write a villanelle on the theme of memory or loss. - Vocabulary Words: Tercet, Refrain, Envoi.
Day 5: Peer Review and Feedback - Activity: Peer review workshop for villanelles. - Lecture: Discuss the challenges and beauty of crafting repetitive forms. - Discussion: Share insights gained from reviewing peers' villanelles.
Study Guide Questions for Week 2: 1. What defines a haiku? Discuss its structure and thematic elements. 2. Explore the cultural significance of nature in haikus. 3. What is the structure of a villanelle, and how does repetition contribute to its impact? 4. Discuss the emotions evoked by repeated lines in a villanelle. 5. Reflect on the process of crafting a villanelle. What challenges did you face?
Quiz: Assessment on the understanding of haikus, villanelles, and the effective use of repetition in poetry.
submitted by adulting4kids to writingthruit [link] [comments]


2024.05.10 20:04 Vukobasa An observer in the Near East: MONTENEGRO (1907)

An observer in the Near East: MONTENEGRO (1907)
ΜΟΝΤΕΝEGRO
CHAPTER I
THE CITY IN THE SKY
Why I went to the Balkans―The road to Montenegro―Cettinje and its petroleum tins―About the blood-feud―England and Montenegro―Warned not to attempt to go to Albania―My guide a marked man-The story of Tef―A woman's fickleness, and its sequel.
CHAPTER II
AN AUDIENCE OF PRINCE NICHOLAS
The Palace at Cettinje―A cigarette with the Prince―The policy of Montenegro―A confidential chat―His Royal Highness's admiration for England―His views upon Macedonia―He urges me not to attempt to go to Albania. but I persuade him to help me―His Highness's kindness―Souvenirs.
**
CHAPTER I
THE CITY IN THE SKY
Why I went to the Balkans— The road to Montenegro — Cettinje and its petroleum tins — About the blood-feud — England and Montenegro — Warned not to attempt to go to Albania — My guide a marked man — The story of Tef — A woman's fickleness, and its sequel.
I ENTERED the Balkans by the back door. The luxuries of the Orient Express had no attraction for me. I wanted to see the Balkans as they really are, those great, wild, mountainous countries, so full of race hatreds, of political bickerings, of fierce blood-feuds, of feverish propa- gandas those nations with their interesting monarchs and their many mysteries.
The "Orient" runs direct from Paris to the Balkan capitals, it is true, but if one goes to study a people the capital is not the only place in which to discover the truth. One must go into the country, move among the peasantry, hear their grievances and investigate their wrongs. Therefore I decided to enter the East by Montenegro, and also visit the wild and little-known regions of Northern Albania.
The comfortable voyage by the Austrian-Lloyd mail steamer Graf Wurmbrand from Trieste down the Adriatic, touching at Pola, the Austrian naval station, Lussinpiccolo, Zara- famed for its maraschino-Sebenico, Spalato, and Gravosa to Cattaro, has been already described by many writers. Suffice it to say that it is perhaps one of the most picturesque of pleasure-trips in the world, for every moment one has a fresh panorama of mountain and blue sea, of green, fertile islands with subtropical vegetation, and tiny white villages nestling at the sea's edge, as the steamer threads her way through the narrow and often difficult channels.
At times the wild scenery, especially in the Bocche di Cattaro, reminds the traveller of the Norwegian fiords, and at others the coast is an almost exact reproduction of the French Riviera.
The object of my journey was, however, not in order to write a mere description of men and places. There have been other travellers in the Balkans who have related their story, therefore my mission was to make careful inquiry into the present unsettled state of affairs, try and discover the grievances of both sides, and endeavour to obtain from the rulers and statesmen of the various nations their aspirations for the future. This I succeeded in doing, for the various monarchs of the Balkans graciously gave me audience; and from their Ministers, from the middle classes, and from the peasants, I was enabled at last to form some conclusion as to the real situation-political, economical, social, and financial.
The writer who attempts to place the various Balkan questions impartially and clearly before the public will at once find himself utterly confused, and wallowing wildly in a morass of misstatement and misrepresentation. The Balkans are torn by race hatreds, party strife, and the intrigues of the Powers. The Turk hates the Bulgar, the Serb hates the Austrian, the Roumanian hates the Greek, the Albanian hates the Montenegrin, the Bosnian hates the Turk, while the Macedonian hates everybody all round. What is told to one authoritatively one hour, is flatly contradicted the next; therefore it is not in the least surprising that in the European Press there have been so many misstatements about the various Balkan questions, the real truth being so very difficult to obtain.
I have, however, endeavoured to obtain it, and at risk of being injudicious, to place before the reader the facts as they are, without any political bias, or any seeking to gloss over the many glaring defects of administration of which I have myself been witness.
To describe the beauties of the Bocche di Cattaro, that series of winding channels where the high grey mountains rise sheer from the water, would be only to traverse old ground. Suffice it to say that I landed at Cattaro on a bright, sunny noon, and found upon the quay a tall, lean mountaineer who had been sent to meet me.
To the traveller fresh from the West the Montenegrin costume of both women and men is very attractive, but a few days in the Balkans soon accustoms the eye to a perfect phantasmagoria of colour and of costume. Pero was my driver's name, and I noticed that around his waist was a revolver belt, but minus the weapon. I inquired where it was, and with a grin he informed me that Cattaro, being in Dalmatia, the Austrians would not allow Montenegrins to bring arms into their country; so they were compelled to leave them on the other side of the frontier, ten kilometres distant.
My bags packed upon the three-horse travelling carriage and secured with many strings, and Pero equipped with a plentiful stock of cigarettes, he mounted upon the box, whipped up his long-tailed ponies, and we started on our eight-hour ascent of that great wall of mountain that hides Montenegro from the sea.
As we ascended through the little village of Skaljari we entered upon a magnificent road, said to be one of the greatest engineering feats of modern times, and steadily ascended, until at the striped black-and-yellow Austrian boundary post we crossed the frontier, and were in the "Land of the Black Mountain"-Montenegro. Across the road, at an acute angle, a row of paving-stones marks the frontier, and soon after- wards we found ourselves in the wildest and most desolate mountain region. At a lonely roadside hut Pero obtained his big, serviceable-looking revolver, and I, of course, wore mine in my belt; for in Montenegro or Albania arms make the man. A man unarmed is looked upon as an effeminate coward. Indeed, by order of Prince Nicholas every Monte- negrin must wear the national dress, both men and women, and every man must carry his revolver when out of doors.
Four hours from Cattaro we were in a lonely mountain fastness, a wild, desolate, treeless region of huge limestone rocks of peculiar volcanic formation, which gave them the appearance of a boiling sea. The views over the Adriatic as we turned back were so superb that, despite photographing being strictly forbidden on account of the fortresses in the vicinity, I could not resist the temptation to take one or two surreptitiously. On, through a bleak, uninhabited country, we at last reached the guard-house of Kerstac, and then half an hour later found ourselves upon a plateau where, in the centre, stood the small clean village of Nyegush, the ancestral home of the reigning family, and the scene of most of the Montenegrin wars of independence. Here we halted for half an hour at the post-house, and before we left, the big, lumbering post-diligence, with its armed guard, came up behind us.
Before we moved off again it had grown dark, the moon shone, and for four hours longer we alternately climbed and descended through that wild region of silence and desolation, until at last we saw, deep below, the lights of Cettinje, the little capital, and an hour later brought us to the unpre- tending "Grand" Hotel.
Hardly had I entered my room when there came a loud knock at my door, and a tall, scarlet-coated Montenegrin warrior, armed to the teeth, entered and saluted. For a moment I looked up at him aghast, but the mystery was solved when, next second, he handed me with great ceremony a telegram from a dear friend in England wishing me God- speed. I had taken him to be, at least, one of the Prince's bodyguard, and he was only a plain telegraph messenger!
This was but one of many surprises in store for me in Montenegro. Next morning I went out to look round the clean little capital, when, on passing the Prince's palace, I saw a number of soldiers drawn up, and as I went by, the band suddenly struck up the British National Anthem! I raised my hat, halted, and stood puzzled. Surely they were not honouring me! Another moment, however, and I recognised the reason. In a carriage, accompanied by the Grand Marechal of the Court, there drove up my friend Mr. Charles des Graz, the newly-appointed British Chargé d'Affaires to Montenegro, who was about to present his creden- tials to His Royal Highness the Prince.
Montenegro is perhaps the most interesting country in all the Balkans. Cettinje, a small, clean town of broad streets and one-storeyed, whitewashed houses, is a little city in the sky, lying as it does in a cup-shaped depression at the summit of a high, bare mountain. Its long, straight, main street reminds one very much of a small country town in England, if it were not that everyone is, by law, compelled to wear the national dress, and every man has in his belt his big, long- barrelled revolver, without which he must never go out of doors.
The men, sturdy mountaineers, are of fine physique- handsome fellows, all of them. Their dress consists of dark blue baggy trousers, white woollen gaiters, raw-hide shoes, a scarlet jacket heavily braided with gold, and a small round cap, with black silk around the edge and the crown of the same colour as the jacket, bearing the Prince's initials in Servian letters, "H.I." The women, who are particularly good-looking, wear dark skirts, beautifully hand-embroidered blouses, and a kind of long coat, with open sleeves of soft, dove-grey cloth. Forbidden to wear European hats, they are compelled to adopt an exactly similar cap to the men, except that the crown is embroidered instead of bearing the royal initials.
Nowhere have I seen such glorification of the male as in Montenegro. To the men, born fighters as they are, work is undignified; therefore the women toil while the opposite sex look on. I saw women employed in building operations and performing work which, in other countries, is left to day- labourers.
Cettinje is quaint in the extreme. The only houses of foreigners are the various Legations, and the only foreigners are diplomats with their wives and families. The first thing that strikes the stranger is the number of petroleum tins. Opposite the hotel I saw a great ring of empty tins, numbering some hundreds, ranged around a fountain. A few women were squatting gossiping, and an armed policeman lounged against the water-source. On inquiry, I found that there was a water famine, and the tins had been placed there at dawn to await the moment when the authorities thought fit to allow the people to get their daily supply. The women had gone away to work, and would return later. The Monte- negrins a short time ago constructed a reservoir, but there was a crack in it, so the water ran away. Hence the famine.
The petroleum tin is never out of sight for a single moment in Cettinje. At any hour, and in any street, you see women and children carrying them. They are used for everything, from milk-pails to flower-pots.
In Cettinje one comes for the first time up against the dark-faced, scowling Albanian in his tightly fitting trousers of white wool striped with black, his dirty white fez, and the swagger of superiority in his gait. He is well armed, and for a good reason. The Montenegrin hates the Albanian, because of the constant border feuds over at Podgoritza, where blood is constantly spilt, and where I have seen a Montenegrin in the market squatting over a basket of apples with a loaded rifle.
That morning I was chatting to a man in Montenegrin dress, of whom I had bought some excellent cigarettes, manufactured by the Montenegro Tobacco Monopoly-an Italian syndicate, by the way and happened to mention that I was on my way to Albania. "Ah, gospodin!" he exclaimed, holding up both his hands, and glancing at the revolver in my belt. "Take my advice.
Don't go into Albania or Macedonia. You are not safe there from one moment to the other. For half a word they'll shoot you dead as easily as they drink a glass of wine. No man's life is worth a moment's purchase there. I'm Albanian myself from Kroja-and I know."
This was scarcely reassuring. I looked about me on every hand as I strolled through Cettinje. All was so quiet, so orderly, so very peaceful there, even though the big, burly mountaineers in the gold-laced jackets eyed me with askance as I passed. Not without some trepidation I took a number of photographs, for I had heard that, like the Turk, the Monte- negrin was averse to having his counterfeit presentment put upon paper. Nevertheless, the first feeling of insecurity having passed, I very soon found myself quite at home in Cettinje, and in the midst of very good and kind friends.
A good many foreigners come up from Cattaro to pry about Cettinje for a day or two, buy picture-postcards and antique arms, sneer at the honest Montenegrin, and return into Dalmatia. Towards such, the Montenegrin is not par- ticularly polite. But those who go to Cettinje to seriously and thoroughly study the people and their future will find a great deal of genuine and charming hospitality.
My first day in Cettinje was lonely. Afterwards, until I left, I was always with friends and officials, who took the greatest trouble to answer my questions and explain matters.
Montenegro is entirely unlike any other country in the world. Its air of antiquity is particularly pleasing, while on every hand the beneficent rule of Prince Nicholas is apparent. Every man in Montenegro swears by his Prince, whom he almost worships. They call him their "father," and if His Royal Highness raised the standard of war to- morrow, every man would rise and fight to the death. The Prince is accessible to all his people-more so to them, indeed, than to the diplomats. Sometimes, early in the morning, he will sit in an arm-chair on the steps leading to the entrance of his palace, and there hear the complaints or petitions of his people. In this patriarchal way he often ministers justice. Last year he granted Montenegro a Constitution, and there is now a Skupshtina similar to that of Servia; but the people have not yet quite understood that in future they must go to the Ministers, and not to their Prince. They will see him, and nobody else.
In no country is loyalty and patriotism so strong as in Montenegro. The army is well trained, and the whole country being one huge natural fortress, a foreign enemy would experience enormous difficulty in gaining entrance. In Cettinje, even a constant traveller like myself meets with continual surprises. One day, while walking at the rear of the Bigliardo, or old palace-so called because when built the first billiard table was introduced-I heard the sound of clanking chains behind me. At first I took no notice, but as it continued with regular rhythm I glanced behind, when, to my amaze- ment, I saw a convict in leg-fetters with difficulty taking his afternoon stroll beneath the trees! There were several others on the grass plot before the prison, idling in the shadow or gossiping with their friends, who had come to keep them company!
Inquiriesshowed that most of these prisoners were murderers, not for robbery but for vendetta. In Montenegro the blood- feud is constant, and life is held very cheap. It invariably commences by jealousy, and is of everyday occurrence. Two lovers quarrel, and one is shot. Then the blood-feud commences, and unlike in Italy or other Southern countries, the vendetta is not only upon the murderer, but upon his next-of-kin. Therefore, if the assassin escapes into Servia, Bosnia, or Turkey, as he so often does, the brother of the dead man takes up the feud and kills the assassin's brother without parley when next he meets him. I myself saw a man shot dead one night in Ryeka, at the head of the Lake of Scutari, and the murderer walked coolly away undeterred. It was the blood-feud, and no one took much notice.
"S'bogom!" (God be with you!) It is the expression you hear on every hand in the Balkans. In the streets the peasants touch their round caps in salute and exclaim, "S'bogom!" When you leave for a journey and when you return, when you rise and when you go to rest; even if you go for a short walk-it is the same. Life is so uncertain in those wild regions that the protection of the Almighty is invoked upon you always, and your revolver is ever ready in your belt.
In Cettinje I had a faithful guide and servant, a black-eyed, somewhat sinister-looking Albanian, named Palok. He travelled with me through Montenegro and Albania, and was most faithful and devoted. Besides Albanian and Serb he spoke a little Italian, and possessed a keen sense of humour.
One day, while we were travelling through the wild, bare mountain, a perfect wilderness of huge boulders without a single tree or even blade of grass, we halted for our midday meal, and while eating he told me of a great friend of his who had recently been killed at Spuz for vendetta, and he added, fondling the butt of his revolver, "I too, gospodin, shall die before long."
I looked at him in surprise. His usually humorous face had changed. It was dark and thoughtful, and his black eyes were fixed upon me.
"Is there a blood-feud upon you, then?" I asked, in surprise.
"Yes," he replied briefly; and though I endeavoured to persuade him to tell the story, it was not until the following day that with some reluctance he explained.
"A year ago my brother Tef, away in Scutari, fell in love with a beautiful girl. He had a rival-a young Albanian, a coppersmith in the bazaar. They quarrelled, but the girl-ah! she was very beautiful-preferred Tef. Where- upon the rival one night took his rifle and laid in wait for my brother in the main street of Scutari. Early in the evening he left the house of the girl's father, and as he passed the fellow shot poor Tef dead."
And he paused as his brow knit deeply, and his teeth were set tightly.
"Well?" I asked.
"Well, gospodin. What would you have done had your own brother died a dog's death? I took a rifle, and within a week the murderer was in his grave. I shot him through the heart and then I left Scutari."
"And you are safe here, in Montenegro ?"
"Safe! Oh dear, no," he answered. "One day-it may be to-day-the fellow's brother will kill me. He must kill me. It is Fate-why worry about it? It does one no good."
And the marked man, the man doomed to die at a moment when he least expects it, rolled a cigarette and lit it with perfect resignment.
"And are you not afraid to go with me back to Scutari?" I asked, amazed at his fearlessness.
"Afraid, gospodin!" he exclaimed, looking at me in reproach as his hand instinctively wandered to his weapon. "Afraid! No Albanian is afraid of the blood-feud. I have killed the murderer, and his brother must kill me. It is our law." And the doomed man smiled gravely.
"And the girl?" I asked.
"Ah! They are all the same," he answered, with a quick shrug of the shoulders. "A month ago she married a tobacco- seller a man old enough to be her father. Poor Tef! If he could but know!"
"And the blood-feud still continues?"
"Of course-until I am dead."
Then Palok smoked on in silence, entirely resigned to the fate that awaits him. He knows that one day, as he walks along the road, the sharp crack of a hidden rifle will sound, and he will fall to earth, another victim of a woman's fickleness.
S'bogom! God be with you!
CHAPTER II
AN AUDIENCE OF PRINCE NICHOLAS
The Palace at Cettinje-A cigarette with the Prince-The policy of Monte- negro-A confidential chat-His Royal Highness's admiration for England-His views upon Macedonia-He urges me not to attempt to go to Albania, but I persuade him to help me-His Highness's kindness -Souvenirs.
HIS Royal Highness the Prince will be pleased to grant you private audience at four o'clock this after- noon, gospodin."
The tall, burly aide-de-camp in the little round cap, high boots, pale blue overcoat, and pistols in his belt, saluted, and we shook hands.
It was then three o'clock, and I was just about to go out to visit Madame Constantinovitch, the mother of Princess Mirko. So I had to return at once to my room and dress for the audience. The kings and princes of the Balkans have a habit of summoning one at a moment's notice, and paying visits at unearthly hours.
Here, in Cettinje, in the heart of these wild, desolate fast- nesses, one seems so far removed from European influence, yet how great a part has this rocky, impregnable country, with its fierce soldier-inhabitants, played in the politics of Eastern Europe, and how great a part it is still destined to play in the near future!
The fact that everybody is armed gives the stranger an uncanny feeling. The man who brings one's coffee wears a perfect arsenal of weapons in his sash, and one quickly acquires the habit of carrying a revolver one's self. Indeed, if you are wise, you will carry a good serviceable weapon from the moment you enter the Balkans to the moment you quit them. But if you approach the Albanian frontier, you will be at once warned not to fire without just cause. A few shots is sufficient to alarm the whole neighbourhood for many miles, and on hearing the alarm every man seizes his rifle and flies to the rendezvous, fully equipped and eager for the fight with those Albanian border tribes, of whom I afterwards had the good fortune to be the guest.
I had already had a long chat with Prince Danilo, the Crown Prince of Montenegro, whom I found a very smart and highly educated man, fully alive to the political difficulties of the neighbouring states and the necessity of Montenegro preserving her independence. He held very strong views upon the terrible state of affairs in Macedonia, and gave me many interesting details about his own country.
Having met him, and also his younger brother, Prince Mirko, I was particularly anxious to make the acquaintance of their father, Prince Nicholas, the ruler of the sturdy, warlike dwellers of the "Land of the Black Mountain "-the principal and most striking figure in this remarkable country, where peace and war walk ever hand-in-hand.
Since 1860, when his uncle, Prince Danilo, was assassinated, he has ruled justly, if somewhat sternly, and has succeeded in raising his nation from a state of semi-civilisation to the high place it now occupies in the Eastern world. In 1888 he gave the country a Civil and Criminal Code, and last year he granted a Constitution. Indeed, he has done all in his power to induce his warriors to follow the arts of peace without forgetting those of war.
At the hour appointed, the royal aide-de-camp called in a carriage and drove me to the Palace, a long, dark brown building of somewhat plain exterior, as befits the home of a fighting race, where I was received in the great hall by half a dozen bowing servants in scarlet and gold. Here I was met by the chamberlain, who conducted me up the grand staircase and into the great audience-chamber, with its many fine paintings and highly polished floor. Then, after a moment, the Prince-a brilliant figure-entered, shook me by the hand, and welcomed me to Montenegro.
These formalities ended, His Royal Highness said in Italian, "Come, let us go into yonder room. We shall be able to talk there more comfortably." And he led me into a smaller chamber, where he gave me a seat at the table where he sat.
The afternoon was gloomy, and dusk was creeping on, therefore upon the table a great antique silver candelabra had been set, and by its light I was enabled to obtain a good view of the ruler of Crnagora, the "Land of the Black Mountain."
Of magnificent physique, tall, muscular, with hair slightly grey, he bore his sixty-five years lightly. Attired in the splendid national costume of scarlet, blue, and gold, with high boots, he wore a single decoration at his throat, the Cross of Danilo, of which Order he is Master. Upon his hand- some, well-cut features the candles shed a soft light, causing the gold upon his dress to glitter, and I noticed, as I asked him questions, how his dark, keen eyes shot quick, inquiring glances of alertness.
After the first few minutes of regal formality His Highness's manner entirely changed. Putting ceremony aside, he pro- duced his cigarette case of crocodile skin, with the royal crown and cipher in gold in the corner-offered me a Montenegrin cigarette, took one himself, lit mine with his own hand, and then we fell to chatting.
In the delightful hour and a half we smoked together I asked the prince-poet many questions, and learnt many things. He explained several difficult points in Balkan politics, which to me, an Englishman, had always been puzzling. We spoke in Italian of Macedonia and of a certain well-known foreign diplomat in London who was our mutual friend, the Prince giving me a very kind message to deliver to him.
Presently I referred to the splendid result of his rule, and related to him a little incident which had occurred to me in Nyegush a few days before, as showing how deeply he was beloved by his nation. A smile crossed his fine open countenance as he replied simply, "I have done my best for my people-my very best; and I shall do so as long as God gives me life. I am happy to believe that my people appreciate my efforts."
"And now, Monseigneur," I asked, "will you tell me what is the present position of Montenegro?"
"The present position is peace," was his prompt answer. "I have granted a Constitution, and the first meeting of the new Skupshtina has been held successfully. Though the Albanian question is always with us, I am thankful to say we are on the most excellent terms with Turkey, while towards Russia we are pursuing our traditional policy. For the Emperor Francis Josef of Austria I have nothing but the most profound admiration, and I owe very much to him."
"And towards England, Monseigneur ?"
"England has been, as you know, Montenegro's very best friend," replied the Prince. "I, personally, have the greatest respect and admiration for your great country. We Montenegrins always remember that it was Mr. Gladstone who gave us the strip of seaboard on the Adriatic with Dulcigno. He was our greatest friend, and his memory is respected by admirer by every man in Montenegro. Of Tennyson, too, I am a great I am very fond of his poems."
"You are a poet yourself, Monseigneur," I remarked, remembering that more than one poetical drama from his pen had been successfully produced on the stage.
His Royal Highness smiled, and puffed slowly at his cigarette.
"I have written one or two little things, it is true; but nothing of late."
"I wonder if I dare ask your Royal Highness to write a few lines for me as a souvenir of my visit?" I asked, not without some trepidation.
"Ah!-well-I won't promise," he laughed. "All depends whether I'm in the mood for it."
"But you will try, won't you?
And the Prince nodded assent.
Then we spoke of Servia and of recent events there; but he was not inclined to discuss the question, and naturally so, when it is remembered that his daughter was the late wife of King Peter.
Returning to the burning question of Macedonia, I saw that he was well informed of all that was transpiring around lakes Presba and Ochrida and down in Serres.
"It is a monstrous state of affairs," he declared. "Something must be done at once, for as soon as spring comes again the massacres will increase."
"But there are outrages, tortures, and massacres every day," I remarked.
"Ah yes," he sighed, "I know. Most terrible details have reached me lately. But you are going to Macedonia yourself, and you will see with your own eyes."
"And what, in your opinion, would be the best settlement of the question?" I inquired.
"There is but one way, namely, for the Powers to call a conference and place Macedonia under a governor - general, who must be a European prince. The reforms would then be carried out, and the Greek bands expelled from the country. How long will Europe tolerate the present frightful state of affairs?"
"The fact is, Monseigneur, that we, in England, are very ignorant of the true state of things, or even of the facts of the Macedonian question," I said.
"Ah, there you are quite correct. If your English public knew what was really happening-how an innocent Christian population is being slaughtered and exterminated because of international rivalry-they would cry shame upon those responsible for this wholesale murder and outrage. But" -he smiled-" I almost forget myself. My position as a ruler forbids me to talk politics, you know!" And we laughed together.
"So you are going to Servia, Bulgaria, Roumania, and to Constantinople-eh?" he remarked a little later, when we had lit fresh cigarettes. "In Bulgaria, and also in Roumania, you will see many things that will interest you. The Bul- garians are very strongly armed, and so are the Roumanians."
"Her Majesty the Queen of Roumania has also promised me audience," I said.
"When you see her, will you please present to Her Majesty my most cordial respects. She is so very charming."
"I want, Monseigneur, to visit Northern Albania, leaving Montenegro by Ryeka and Scutari. Would that be the best route, do you think?"
"What!" he exclaimed, in surprise. "Do you actually contemplate visiting the tribes up in the Accursed Mountains?"
"Certainly. Why not?"
"Well, my advice is, don't think of going there. If you do, you will never return. You'll be shot at sight, like a dog. You have no idea what those uncivilised tribes are like. The whole country is utterly lawless."
"So I understand. But I've also heard that the Albanian possesses a deep sense of honour. And I thought that I might possibly obtain permission from one or other of the chiefs."
The Prince was silent for a moment. Then, looking at me across the table, said-
"Do not go. It is far too great a risk."
His advice was the same that my, friends in London had given me; the same that I had received there, in the market-place of Cettinje.
But I was determined, and pressed His Royal Highness to assist me, at last receiving his promise of help. By his kind permission, the Albanian named Palok acted as my guide, and what eventually happened to me in that wild region will be seen in the following pages.
"Well," exclaimed the Prince at last, "if you go up there, it must be at your own risk. I've warned you of the danger. No one has been up there for many years. It has been at- tempted, of course, but travellers have either been held to ransom, and the Turks have been compelled to pay for their release, or else they have simply been shot by the first Albanian meeting them. The country beyond Scutari is the most unsafe in the whole Balkan Peninsula."
I replied that I intended to make the attempt.
"Well, then, I wish you buon viaggio," he laughed. "May every good luck attend you, and as we say in Montenegro - S'bogom! (God be with you!) When you return for I suppose you will pass this way down to the sea-come and see me, and tell me all about the Skreli and Kastrati country -for of course I am highly interested. They are always at war with our people on the frontier."
"I will let your Royal Highness know the moment I am back in Cettinje," I promised.
Then rising, he gripped my hand warmly, saying-
"Then I will help you if I can. Be careful of yourself, for I shall be anxious about you. Again, S'bogom!"
And the Prince accompanied me to the head of the grand staircase, where I made my obeisance, turned and descended through the rows of armed and bowing servants ranged in the hall, charmed by His Royal Highness's graciousness towards me and by the pleasant chat I had enjoyed.
When, after my journey through Northern Albania, I one afternoon re-entered that audience-chamber, and he came forward with outstretched hand to greet me, he exclaimed-
"Well, well! I am so glad to see you back safe and sound. You look a little thinner in the face a little travel-worn- eh? Life in the Albanian mountains is not like your life in London or Paris, is it? But never mind as long as you are safe," he laughed, placing his hand kindly upon my shoulder.
"Come along to this room. It is more cosy," and he led me to the smaller apartment, his own private cabinet.
For nearly two hours I sat relating to him what occurred on my journey, and describing the wild country which had, until then, been practically a sealed book. Even though Cettinje is so near, hardly anything was known of the Skreli, the Hoti, the Klementi, or the Kastrati tribes, save that they were brigandish bands who constantly raided the Montenegrin frontier.
The Prince listened to me with great attention, and put many questions to me as we smoked together.
Then rising, he took from a drawer in his great writing- table a small scarlet box, and as he opened it he bestowed upon me a compliment undeserved, for he said -
"There are few men who would have risked what you have done. Therefore I wish to invest you with our Order of Danilo, as a mark of my appreciation and esteem."
And he displayed to me the beautiful dark blue and white enamelled cross of the Order, the same that he was wearing at his throat, surmounted by the royal crown and suspended upon the white ribbon edged with cerise.
After he had invested me with the Order, saying many kind things to me, which I really don't think I deserved, he added-
"The chef du chancellerie will send you the diploma in due course, and I trust, when you petition your own gracious Sovereign King Edward, that His Majesty will allow you to wear this insignia."
I thanked His Royal Highness, gripped his hand, and a few minutes later passed through the line of bowing servants out of the Palace.
And that same evening I received from His Royal Highness the signed photograph which appears in these pages.
Before I left Cettinje I received the following expressive lines, written especially for me by a Montenegrin poet who is a great personage, but whose name he would not permit me to give. They are in Servian as follows, and I have placed their English translation below :-
S' veledušnog Albiona
Pružiše se dvije ruke
Crnoj Gori da pomogu
U junačke njene muke
S' vrućom rječu na ustima
Gladston diže Crnogorce
A Tenison za najprve
U svijet ih broi borce
Na glas svoih Velikana
Britanski se narod trže
Da pomože da zaštiti
Crnu Goru iz najbrže
Posla svoje bojne ladje
Sto na tečnost gospostvuju
Veledušno da zaštite
Domovinu milu Moju
O fala ti po sto puta
Blagorodni lyudi Soju
Dok je svjeta dok je greda
Nad Ulcinjem koje stoju
Hraniće ti blagodarnost
Ova šaka sokolova
Koima si u pomoci
Stiga putem od valova.
The literal translation in English is as follows:-
From the great-souled Albion,
Two arms were stretched
To help Montenegro
In her heroic sufferings.
With fiery word on his lips
Gladstone lifts up Montenegrins,
Whilst Tennyson declared them
The very first fighters in the world.
On the call of their great men,
British people rose up
In quickest manner, to help
And to protect Montenegro.
They despatched their war-ships,
Which rule over the seas,
Generously to protect
My Fatherland so dear to me.
Oh! thanks to thee, hundredfold thanks,
Noble race of men.
As long as the world lasts,
As long as the mountains above Dulcigno stand,
Will remain grateful to thee,
This handful of falcons,
To whose help thou didst come
By the road of the waves.
- An Observer in the Near East - William Le Queux. Publisher, E. Nash, 1907.
\**
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submitted by Vukobasa to Crnogorstvo [link] [comments]


2024.05.10 14:51 adulting4kids Holiday Poetry

  1. Haiku for Hanukkah:
    • Craft a series of haikus capturing the essence of Hanukkah, focusing on the symbolism of light, the menorah, and the joy of shared traditions.
  2. Sonnet of Diwali Delights:
    • Write a sonnet that explores the colors, lights, and festivities of Diwali, incorporating themes of triumph over darkness and the spirit of renewal.
  3. Kwanzaa Villanelle:
    • Create a villanelle that reflects on the seven principles of Kwanzaa, exploring the repeated refrains to convey a sense of unity, purpose, and cultural celebration.
  4. Las Posadas Limericks:
    • Compose a set of limericks capturing the humorous and heartwarming moments of Las Posadas, focusing on the characters and the reenactment of the journey to Bethlehem.
  5. St. Lucia's Day Free Verse:
    • Write a free verse poem that explores the sensory experience of St. Lucia's Day, using vivid imagery to convey the sights, sounds, and emotions of the candlelit processions.
  6. Winter Solstice Cinquains:
    • Create a series of cinquains that capture the anticipation, stillness, and eventual rebirth associated with the Winter Solstice.
  7. Chinese New Year Acrostic:
    • Compose an acrostic poem using the words "Chinese New Year," incorporating each letter to convey the energy, symbolism, and cultural richness of the celebration.
  8. Ganna Elegy:
    • Write an elegy that reflects on the Ethiopian Christmas (Ganna), exploring themes of faith, tradition, and the emotional resonance of the holiday.
  9. Oshogatsu Haiga:
    • Combine haiku with visual elements in a haiga to capture the serene beauty and cultural significance of Oshogatsu, incorporating traditional New Year imagery.
  10. Global Celebrations Ghazal:
    • Craft a ghazal that weaves together the diverse elements of global holiday celebrations, exploring the shared threads of joy, love, and cultural exchange.
submitted by adulting4kids to writingthruit [link] [comments]


2024.05.10 11:03 Naive_Ad5037 para dun sa ex ko na pinost ako sa abyg

sobrang sama siguro tingin sakin ng lahat, btw if hindi kayo aware ito post niya> https://www.reddit.com/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1cme6fp/abyg_if_hiniwalayan_ko_gf_ko_because_of_kpop/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
im thankful sa iba na nakakaintindi sa side ko, too bad hindi ko to mapost sa mismong sub att nadedelete agad. Ill just put it off here. Para mawala na bigat sa dibdib ko.
Imagine my friend for decades ended up talking shit about me in reddit, tama sabi nung few matitino sa sub na to, gago ka talaga.
You think na hindi ko malalaman? Naging well known yung post mo eh, habang binabasa ko hindi ko alam na about sa akin, pero nung nakita ko replies at update. I knew it. I made a new account sa reddit to reply dito and clear things up
I am very into u, pero insted of "am", "was" na. Mayabang ka kaya feel mo the world revolves around u noh? Everyone treats u good kaya u never touched the ground. Pero buti aware ka sa narcissism mo
Cringe ako? Dahil nakikipag-away ako online? Wala namang masama makipag-away for ur idols lalo na kung mali ang paratang sa kanila. Its very depressing at mahirap na trabaho. This is my way of protecting them. Protecting them from this ugly world.
pilit mong sinasabi sakin na wag maginvolve kasi, coming from youre own mouth "shallow" kaya wag kong patulan, see how high do u think of ur self? Edi Ikaw na deep lmfao
I spend my time writing poem. Noong nadulas ako na may RPW account ako, nahihiya ako talaga. And hindi naman violent reaction mo eh, you told me pa nga na ipractice ko grammar ko and itry ko gumawa ng ibang topic at isend sa reader's digest (too bad nagclose na) Pero in the end? Korni pala sayo..
dami ko nakikita na baka daw immature pa ako and teenage phase, i dont think its a phase. Im not a teenager anymore and Im even older than him, Kpop saved my life, more than anyone thinks. im in college and im doing great. Masakit masabihan ng tanga dahil lanh sa likes mo.
Unlike what you said na you communicated, Puro ka lang sabi na its better to buy what i need, or minsan nagjjoke ka lang na nawiwirduhan ka. Hindi ka mukhang seryoso everytime u said kasi u always said it in a teasinh way. Never mo pinakita sakin na ayaw mo ng ginagawa ko, dapat pinadelete mo sakin fan account ko diba? Wala ka ginawa eh
Yung pagsasalita ko na may korean, im just trying to be cute and silly. youre friends are assholes to the core if yun pala initial reaction nila, laki sila sa west kaya lumaki sa racist values na ang korean culture ay nakakatawa. They dont even know the difference ng annyeong at arigatou
they wont bring u any good. And u know it urself. Masyadong americanized, may divorce nga dun kasi yung mga tao hindi marunong makicooperate. Konting difference lang, hiwalay agad. Never magtatagal relationship mo if ganun ang mindset mo at ginagaya mo. Kaya nga di rin nagtagal parents mo at ang daming problema sa household niyo kasi di kayang magtiis sa maliit na difference.
Sa totoo lang, ever since were kids i looked up to you, tinuruan mo ako magskateboard, magbike, magvideogames, maglangoy. Ang patient mo palagi sakin
May mga lalaki na gusto kasama ka pero ako sinasamahan mo, ako kinakampihan mo nung bata tayo kasi yung iba ayaw akong kakampi dahil mahina ako sa physical games. Palagi kang talo pag ako kasama mo pero never kita nakitang nainis sakin
Pag nag-aaway kaming magkakapatid, ikaw una kong sinusumbungan kesa sa parents ko, never ka nainis sakin. Kpop lang pala magiging dahilan in the end
Feel ko dahil sayo para akong nasa kdrama, na childhood friends na magkakadevelopan ang plot natin. pero delusyon ko yun. Naiiyak ako HAHAHAHAHHAH
I can literally only list good things about u, and yet nakalist ka ng bagay na ginagawa ko na naiirita ka. That hurts man
Nakakahiya na pineflex pa kita sa friends ko before, not just in real life but online kahit nung hindi pa tayo. Inaayos ko pa pictures mo para ipakita sa kanila, sayang effort ko. Proud ako sayo tas ang tingin mo pala sakin all this time tanga. Cringe, weirdo. Ang daming eme mo pa na busy ka kaya mahihirapan ka sa course mo, and iba yung lifestyle natin at interests.
ikaw ang first boyfriend ko and you broke up with me after just 2 months. Anong iisipin ng iba diba? desperada ako kasi ako una naginitiate ng relationship and in the end lalaki pa ang nakipag-hiwalay sakin? Anong problema sakin? Hindi mo man naisip yun.
Ano yun napilitan ka lang? Sana sinabi mo na lang ako yung nakipabreak para di na gumulo, delikadesa ba
Oo, i also feel bad kasi alam kong madami asar sa'yo for the wrong reason and yun talaga kinakabwisit mo. Pero tbh (ik masama ako dito but) dasurv. You hurted me so much especially now
ikaw din naman gumawa ng problema mo. In the end kasi alam mong petty yung reason kaya hindi mo maexplain. mababaw talaga yun kahit anong sugarcoat mo.
Jusko, grow up. Kpop? We are not kids angmore, gusto mo lang validation online about hate mo sa kpop community. Ate mo rin naman kpoppies, siya nalang kontrolin mo.
Sabi ko pa naman hawig mo si mingyu, wala ka pa sa kuko niya. Girl bye di ka kawalan
submitted by Naive_Ad5037 to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]


http://rodzice.org/