Klonopin and fentynal
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2022.07.18 08:37 PanspermiaTheory I thought I hit rock bottom.
In 2017, I was sentenced to 3.5 years in prison for committing a crime while blacked out. I was drinking about a liter of vodka a day with a handful of klonopin. I thought it was my "rock bottom". I did my time, stayed sober in prison and was excited about my new lease on life. I was released in 2020 (insane time to enter the world) and felt like it was all behind me. I refused A.A. or any type of counseling because, hey I have 3 years under my belt so the rest should be easy, right?
Fast forward to about Christmas 2021. Me and my fiance had temporarily split, and I was having serious financial problems. What's so bad about having a couple beers? I mean, I had proven (not really) that I had the ability to stay sober, right? What's wrong with being like everybody else and enjoying some drinks at night and socializing with strangers, like I did in my 20s (I'm 32)?? Why cant I enjoy life like them?
So I did. A few cheap beers a night. Then a six pack of cheap beer a night. Then it became IPA, because that 5% stuff just wasnt cutting it. Then 12 beers. Damn this is getting expensive and I'm gaining too much weight. Let's get a half pint of some good vodka. It wont fill my up with carbonation and it's not that much. Damn, that half pint isnt cutting it anymore, I'll take a pint. Well damn this is getting expensive, let's switch to trusty ole' Fleischmans. Its only 4 bucks a pint and it wont make me too fat. And so on, and so on.
Fast forward to July 2022. I cant hold a job. I wake up shaking and promising to start a "taper" schedule. Let's just get a pint, and stretch it out today, then gradually decrease. Easy enough, right? Well by 3pm that pint is done, fuck it. Back to the liquor store for another pint. I promise, soon I'll wean myself off. July 11th 2022 I consumed a liter plus a pint.
Woke up July 12th, and decided today is the day I'm really gonna wean myself off. After sipping the last drops from the bottles I found, I decided to buy 4 airport shots and make them stretch, and find myself a detox center. None had beds open so I decides to check myself into the e.r.
About 4 p.m. and I enter an E.R. in a nicer part of town, (i live in the hood) for alcohol withdrawl, before it actually started to hit (I had 200ml in my system that day). They gave me some Ativan and vitamins, and a soft bed to lay in, before transferring me to their Behavioral health wing, where I couldnt have my phone or anything. The night wasnt too bad. I got this! I made it a full 24 hours without booze and I feel fine. They recommended that they transfer me to a detox center down the road, where I can safely detox under medical supervision (the e.r. needs beds for other emergencies so they work with detox centers) They informed it would be 3 to 5 days with no phone and only niccotine patches or gum (no millenial pacifier or cigarettes) But I made it a full 24 hours! I never had seizures or anything the last times I had quit, so I'm pretty sure I can just do this on my own. No thanks, I'll just go home from here. My EKG and bloodwork were ok, so I'm sure I can handle the rest of it at home.
I get home. I feel, ok. My fiance comes over and we decide to have a nice dinner, smoke a joint, and relax. I had finally become free from the poison (for 24 hours) and the company of my girl would be enough to distract me and get me through the hard parts, right?
So I'm in the kitchen, cooking dinner. Out of completely nowhere, my head feels inflated. I lose my balance and my arms are shaking. I drop a pan and she walks into the kitchen. She startled me like I had seen a ghost in a nightmare. I dont really want to think about things I already knew about WD, so I start blaming the joint I smoked 3 hours before. It had been a while and my tolerance was low. I was probably just having anxiety from smoking and need to lie down. Shaking and scared I wobble to the sofa. I lie down and drink tons of water and start eating apples and slices of bread. I just gotta get past this stupid thing. I dont even like weed because it gives me anxiety, and I was certain this was the case. After eating, it seemed to go away. Five minutes past, and WHAM it hits again, even harder. Oh shit. Now I hear knocking at the door and it looks like flies are flying all around my ceiling. No one was at the door. Apparently the things I read about delirium tremens might be true. Time to go back to the E.R.
I go to the nearest hospital, and like a frightened stray dog, basically crawl-walk my way in. The entire waiting room is full of Fentynal addicts who frequent the place, sleeping on the floors and begging to be seen. I approach the glass and couldnt even get rhe words to come out correctly. They assumed I was another fentanyl addict looking for relief. They were very jaded and intolerant of fentanyl addicts looking to WD there, because of how many keep coming back and how many overdose deaths they see every day. The lady just said "yeah yeah yeah just wait like the rest of them" No matter how much I tried, the words come out completely bonkers and I couldnt communicate that it was delerium tremens, and that I could start seizing up and possibly have a heart attack or stroke at any minute. It was like a nightmare. One lady even said as she looked at me "I cant belive what these people will do to get in there" I was in tears and clenching my chest. It felt like someone was standing on it. Once in indicated my heart, they gave me an EKG and I went back into the waiting room. 10 minutes of me speaking to myself walking around and falling on the ground. I knocked on the glass and the police officer working security just waved me away. In a state of complete madness i started dialing 911 in the lobby. I told the operator I'm having DTs and they wont help me and I need a ride back to the first E.R. I was at a day before, because they would recognize me and understand what's happening. They told me "the fire dept isnt here for that" I may have not explained it clearly because I was hallucinating and my lips were trembling too much to get words out. After the call, with the whole waiting room just staring at me, I pulled out my phone and googled delirium tremens. Opened the wikipedia page and pressed the phone screen against the glass. After reading it, the lady immediately opened the door and let me in. After a few questions, I had myself a bed in the e.r., even with a waiting room full of about 30 people.
They rushed to get bloodwork done and my electrolytes were almost all depleted, and my blood pressure was 136/91. Its usually about 115/75.
If I had stayed home, I probably would be dead. I should have taken the 3 day offer from the first e.r.
I always thought prison was my rock bottom. Nope. It's a whole different ball game when doctors are telling you that you almost died. I also thought I could live a sober life without any help.
I still havent drank since those 4 airport shots on July 12th, and have decided to take this seriously for the rest of my life. I never wanted to be the sober guy. I am now the fucking sober guy. I am glad to have found this group and other online options, being a massive introvert. My mind has never been more done with the poison than it is today. Before, it was all about "I dont drink so that I dont piss my loved ones off" Fuck that. That is now 2nd. I dont drink, because i want to see my 9 year old son enter highschool. I am actively scheduling IOP appointments, as well as A.A. groups in my area. I actually WANT a sponsor now and I WANT to be the sober guy. I am happy to have found this reddit group. I now take every day at a time, using a strict schedule to keep myself busy and constantly think about my sobriety.
I wish all of you luck, and please do the same for me. I will try to be as active as possible in this group, and would love any advice.
5 days sober today, looking forward to 6.
Peace.
submitted by PanspermiaTheory to alcoholicsanonymous [link] [comments]
Fast forward to about Christmas 2021. Me and my fiance had temporarily split, and I was having serious financial problems. What's so bad about having a couple beers? I mean, I had proven (not really) that I had the ability to stay sober, right? What's wrong with being like everybody else and enjoying some drinks at night and socializing with strangers, like I did in my 20s (I'm 32)?? Why cant I enjoy life like them?
So I did. A few cheap beers a night. Then a six pack of cheap beer a night. Then it became IPA, because that 5% stuff just wasnt cutting it. Then 12 beers. Damn this is getting expensive and I'm gaining too much weight. Let's get a half pint of some good vodka. It wont fill my up with carbonation and it's not that much. Damn, that half pint isnt cutting it anymore, I'll take a pint. Well damn this is getting expensive, let's switch to trusty ole' Fleischmans. Its only 4 bucks a pint and it wont make me too fat. And so on, and so on.
Fast forward to July 2022. I cant hold a job. I wake up shaking and promising to start a "taper" schedule. Let's just get a pint, and stretch it out today, then gradually decrease. Easy enough, right? Well by 3pm that pint is done, fuck it. Back to the liquor store for another pint. I promise, soon I'll wean myself off. July 11th 2022 I consumed a liter plus a pint.
Woke up July 12th, and decided today is the day I'm really gonna wean myself off. After sipping the last drops from the bottles I found, I decided to buy 4 airport shots and make them stretch, and find myself a detox center. None had beds open so I decides to check myself into the e.r.
About 4 p.m. and I enter an E.R. in a nicer part of town, (i live in the hood) for alcohol withdrawl, before it actually started to hit (I had 200ml in my system that day). They gave me some Ativan and vitamins, and a soft bed to lay in, before transferring me to their Behavioral health wing, where I couldnt have my phone or anything. The night wasnt too bad. I got this! I made it a full 24 hours without booze and I feel fine. They recommended that they transfer me to a detox center down the road, where I can safely detox under medical supervision (the e.r. needs beds for other emergencies so they work with detox centers) They informed it would be 3 to 5 days with no phone and only niccotine patches or gum (no millenial pacifier or cigarettes) But I made it a full 24 hours! I never had seizures or anything the last times I had quit, so I'm pretty sure I can just do this on my own. No thanks, I'll just go home from here. My EKG and bloodwork were ok, so I'm sure I can handle the rest of it at home.
I get home. I feel, ok. My fiance comes over and we decide to have a nice dinner, smoke a joint, and relax. I had finally become free from the poison (for 24 hours) and the company of my girl would be enough to distract me and get me through the hard parts, right?
So I'm in the kitchen, cooking dinner. Out of completely nowhere, my head feels inflated. I lose my balance and my arms are shaking. I drop a pan and she walks into the kitchen. She startled me like I had seen a ghost in a nightmare. I dont really want to think about things I already knew about WD, so I start blaming the joint I smoked 3 hours before. It had been a while and my tolerance was low. I was probably just having anxiety from smoking and need to lie down. Shaking and scared I wobble to the sofa. I lie down and drink tons of water and start eating apples and slices of bread. I just gotta get past this stupid thing. I dont even like weed because it gives me anxiety, and I was certain this was the case. After eating, it seemed to go away. Five minutes past, and WHAM it hits again, even harder. Oh shit. Now I hear knocking at the door and it looks like flies are flying all around my ceiling. No one was at the door. Apparently the things I read about delirium tremens might be true. Time to go back to the E.R.
I go to the nearest hospital, and like a frightened stray dog, basically crawl-walk my way in. The entire waiting room is full of Fentynal addicts who frequent the place, sleeping on the floors and begging to be seen. I approach the glass and couldnt even get rhe words to come out correctly. They assumed I was another fentanyl addict looking for relief. They were very jaded and intolerant of fentanyl addicts looking to WD there, because of how many keep coming back and how many overdose deaths they see every day. The lady just said "yeah yeah yeah just wait like the rest of them" No matter how much I tried, the words come out completely bonkers and I couldnt communicate that it was delerium tremens, and that I could start seizing up and possibly have a heart attack or stroke at any minute. It was like a nightmare. One lady even said as she looked at me "I cant belive what these people will do to get in there" I was in tears and clenching my chest. It felt like someone was standing on it. Once in indicated my heart, they gave me an EKG and I went back into the waiting room. 10 minutes of me speaking to myself walking around and falling on the ground. I knocked on the glass and the police officer working security just waved me away. In a state of complete madness i started dialing 911 in the lobby. I told the operator I'm having DTs and they wont help me and I need a ride back to the first E.R. I was at a day before, because they would recognize me and understand what's happening. They told me "the fire dept isnt here for that" I may have not explained it clearly because I was hallucinating and my lips were trembling too much to get words out. After the call, with the whole waiting room just staring at me, I pulled out my phone and googled delirium tremens. Opened the wikipedia page and pressed the phone screen against the glass. After reading it, the lady immediately opened the door and let me in. After a few questions, I had myself a bed in the e.r., even with a waiting room full of about 30 people.
They rushed to get bloodwork done and my electrolytes were almost all depleted, and my blood pressure was 136/91. Its usually about 115/75.
If I had stayed home, I probably would be dead. I should have taken the 3 day offer from the first e.r.
I always thought prison was my rock bottom. Nope. It's a whole different ball game when doctors are telling you that you almost died. I also thought I could live a sober life without any help.
I still havent drank since those 4 airport shots on July 12th, and have decided to take this seriously for the rest of my life. I never wanted to be the sober guy. I am now the fucking sober guy. I am glad to have found this group and other online options, being a massive introvert. My mind has never been more done with the poison than it is today. Before, it was all about "I dont drink so that I dont piss my loved ones off" Fuck that. That is now 2nd. I dont drink, because i want to see my 9 year old son enter highschool. I am actively scheduling IOP appointments, as well as A.A. groups in my area. I actually WANT a sponsor now and I WANT to be the sober guy. I am happy to have found this reddit group. I now take every day at a time, using a strict schedule to keep myself busy and constantly think about my sobriety.
I wish all of you luck, and please do the same for me. I will try to be as active as possible in this group, and would love any advice.
5 days sober today, looking forward to 6.
Peace.
2019.12.14 01:51 DoSy2202 I have done over 40 recreational drugs. AMA
Hello, I want to first start by saying this is not to glorify, condone, or encourage any drug use. No drug has benefits that out way the possible risk.
NOTE: I did ask and this was approved by moderation
Also, if anyone recognizes my handle from my prior AMA, please note that for simplicity and to prevent things from becoming extremely confusing I am going to speak and respond as if that situation/condition does not exist.
Hello, I am 27yrs old Male who just recently quit my multiple year experience with substances. I did over 40 different drugs through my adult life ranging from one time uses to multiple years. I will to my best ability describe how I did them, why I did them, the experience of doing them, what I lost or gained from using them, and any advice I can give on safely using them. Hopefully, sharing my expereinces good and bad can satisfy you enough not to want to do them.
IMPORTANT******I am not a doctor or health professional anything I say is my personal experience with them and may or may not work with you or others, please do not use my statements as professional medical advice*******IMPORTANT
I am simply going to list the substances I used and will answer any questions about them
Hydrocodone
Oxycodone
Heroin
Fentynal
Hydromorphone
Morphine
Oxycontin
Cocaine
Crack Cocaine
Adderall
Ritalin
Mephadrone
Methylone (Bk-MDMA)
MDPV
MDMA (molly/pure ecstacy) (I have never taken a pressed pill)
MDA
2CB
2CE
2CI
2CP
25B
25C
25I
25E
Alcohol
LSD
AL-LAD
LSA
Psilocybin
Mescaline
Ketamine
Diphenhydramine
Valium
GHB
alprazolam
klonopin
Lorazepam
Temazepam
dexedrine
Desoxyn (perscription Methamphetamine)
Nicotine
Caffeine
5-MeO-MiPT
5-MEO-DMT
DMT
MXE
THC
CBD
K2(spice)
There may be more that I have missed, if so I will update the list tomorow
submitted by DoSy2202 to AMA [link] [comments]
NOTE: I did ask and this was approved by moderation
Also, if anyone recognizes my handle from my prior AMA, please note that for simplicity and to prevent things from becoming extremely confusing I am going to speak and respond as if that situation/condition does not exist.
Hello, I am 27yrs old Male who just recently quit my multiple year experience with substances. I did over 40 different drugs through my adult life ranging from one time uses to multiple years. I will to my best ability describe how I did them, why I did them, the experience of doing them, what I lost or gained from using them, and any advice I can give on safely using them. Hopefully, sharing my expereinces good and bad can satisfy you enough not to want to do them.
IMPORTANT******I am not a doctor or health professional anything I say is my personal experience with them and may or may not work with you or others, please do not use my statements as professional medical advice*******IMPORTANT
I am simply going to list the substances I used and will answer any questions about them
Hydrocodone
Oxycodone
Heroin
Fentynal
Hydromorphone
Morphine
Oxycontin
Cocaine
Crack Cocaine
Adderall
Ritalin
Mephadrone
Methylone (Bk-MDMA)
MDPV
MDMA (molly/pure ecstacy) (I have never taken a pressed pill)
MDA
2CB
2CE
2CI
2CP
25B
25C
25I
25E
Alcohol
LSD
AL-LAD
LSA
Psilocybin
Mescaline
Ketamine
Diphenhydramine
Valium
GHB
alprazolam
klonopin
Lorazepam
Temazepam
dexedrine
Desoxyn (perscription Methamphetamine)
Nicotine
Caffeine
5-MeO-MiPT
5-MEO-DMT
DMT
MXE
THC
CBD
K2(spice)
There may be more that I have missed, if so I will update the list tomorow