Some time ago, I wrote a two-part series about what I called the "Low" and "High" Eighties, focused particularly on the politics, music, and pop culture (mostly from an English perspective) in the years 1977-82 and 1983-88, respectively. Lately I've been thinking more about the concept of splitting decades into Low and High portions, as well as how I split the Eighties themselves. While I'd still maintain that much about the years 1977 and 1978 were about rebelling against what was then perceived as the "Seventies", retrospectively those years do seem to slot in better with the 70s than they do the 80s, even the Low 80s. It's been said before, but Thatcher's election in 1979 really is that fundamental breaking point in modern British history, that great line dividing before and after, far more than the Punk "Year Zero" of 1976 or 1977. Basically, it's the end of postwar Britain and the beginning of that great, as yet unknown entity: the 80s. But it's not yet the beginning of what we often mean by "the Eighties", as they tend to be imagined. There were no yuppies gulping champagne in 1980; yuppies did not yet exist. But there is still an "idea" of the Eighties there, an idea that was very much present in 1980 - this idea I call the Low Eighties. The years after 1979 were distinct from the 70s; in a literal sense they were the 80s, but they weren't really what we now think of the "Eighties" 80s, even up to and including 1983. The "Eighties" 80s - the High 80s - were something more like 1984 to 1988: How to Be A Millionaire to Loadsamoney, with Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) at the peak of the mountain.
Each decade, I'd propose, has its own Low and High portions: each decade's low portion begins in the last year of the previous decade, and each decade's high portion stretches from year xxx4 through year xxx8. For those portions I am most attached to, the High Sixties through the High Nineties, I've described some characteristics of British and American society at the time, which I will list below. Because I like pop music and think it reflects a great deal about the broader culture at any given moment, I've chosen three distinct musical movements which I feel are most essential to each period. For my usage of stylistic terms, I'd suggest Wikipedia's "British pop music" article as a basic guide; it accurately reflects when and how those terms have been used in most histories of British pop (unlike many of the articles for individual artists or genres, which are clearly not written from the view of a British person who lived through those times). I'd also suggest my own guide to British alternative music tribes, spanning 1977-1996, for the especially curious. But now, to the point:
The High Sixties (1964-1968)
Music: Beat, Psych & Soul
In British and/or American society, these were the years of: Harold Wilson & Lyndon Johnson, the Swinging Sixties, the Sexual Revolution, the anti-war movement, student activism, idealism, the Summer of Love, protests of '68, bowl cuts, Beatlemania, the British invasion, hippies, increased recreational drug use, mods and rockers.
The Low Seventies (1969-1973)
Music: Glam, Prog & Funk
In British and/or American society, these were the years of: Ted Heath & Richard Nixon, the rise of nativism and the National Front, the rise of the IRA, American detente with Russia, first oil crisis, the "permissive society", gay and women's lib, porno chic, blaxploitation films, afros, long hair, flares, more hippies and singer-songwriters.
The High Seventies (1974-1978)
Music: Punk, New Wave & Disco
In British and/or American society, these were the years of: Harold Wilson (again) & Gerald Ford, Jim Callaghan & Jimmy Carter, the height of the Troubles, peak of the National Front, Rock Against Racism, football hooliganism, formation of the religious right, strikes, stagflation, malaise, disco pants and drainpipes.
The Low Eighties (1979-1983)
Music: Postpunk, New Romantics & Electropop
In British and/or American society, these were the years of: early Thatcher & Reagan (and Carter), the height of the Cold War, Falklands War, the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament, recession, high unemployment, 1981 riots, rise of the religious right, gender benders, feminist sex wars, the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, launch of MTV, second British invasion of America, skinny ties, baggies, mod and ska revivals, the science fiction boom, early home computers and video arcades.
The High Eighties (1984-1988)
Music: Indiepop, Goth & Hi-NRG
In British and/or American society, these were the years of: peak Thatcher & Reagan, privatisation, deregulation, yuppies, brick-sized mobile phones, the miners' strike, the Anti-Apartheid Movement, perestroika, the Big Bang, unequal economic growth, materialism, high unemployment, Live Aid, Stock Aitken Waterman, the original indie kids, golden age Hip Hop, breakdancing, fear of the AIDS epidemic, rise in homophobia, Section 28, big hair, mullets and stone washed jeans.
The Low Nineties (1989-1993)
Music: Baggy, Shoegaze & Techno
In British and/or American society, these were the years of: John Major & George Bush, "the end of history", Gulf War, Poll tax riots, recession, "Back to Basics" and "family values", American fights over political correctness and affirmative action, gangsta rap controversies, "adult contemporary" radio hits, Seattle grunge, height of the AIDS epidemic, the second (or third) Summer of Love, indie kids wearing flares, open-air raves and warehouse parties.
The High Nineties (1994-1998)
Music: Britpop, Trip Hop & Drum and Bass
In British and/or American society, these were the years of: John Major & Bill Clinton, Blair and "Cool Britannia", New Labour and New Democrats, the triumph of the "Third Way", unequal economic growth, legislation against "repetitive beats", commercial clubs replacing illegal raves, indie Britpop kids doing coke, Blur vs. Oasis, Tupac vs. Biggie, Spicemania, Bristol sound, UK jungle scene, the World Wide Web, bowl cuts & Union Jacks.

Je (M, 40) me suis mis depuis quelques mois au porno en réalité virtuelle et sex-toy connecté. Ça a eu un impact très positif sur ma vie: je regarde moins de porno et je me couche plus tôt! Je partage l'expérience pour ceux que ça tente.
Marié depuis +10ans, ma vie sexuelle est ce qu'elle est, excellente en qualité mais pas assez fréquente à mon goût (1x tous les 7-10 jours). Malgré thérapie de couple et autres, je ne suis pas sûr que cette différence de libido se résoudra. Pour gérer mes pulsions, je prends donc les choses en main!
J'ai toujours regardé beaucoup de porno. Ça ne me posait pas trop de problèmes dans ma vie, sauf que j'y passais trop de temps et je me couchais trop tard. Récemment, j'ai acheté un casque de réalité virtuelle, un sex toy connecté et un abonnement à un site de Vfunscripts pour tester une expérience de sexe virtuel, et ça a complètement changé mon rapport au porno. Au lieu de passer 2h à chercher une nouvelle vidéo suffisamment excitante pour me masturber, ça me prend maintenant 20-30 minutes, et je termine beaucoup plus satisfait. Le setup est parfaitement intégré (pas besoin de PC ou d'app mobile) et suffisamment discret pour se ranger dans la table de nuit.
Ma femme est soulagée que j'ai trouvé une façon plus efficace de gérer ma différence de libido, et pour la première fois depuis longtemps, je passe moins de temps à regarder du porno et je me couche plus tôt. Est-ce qu'il y a d'autres personnes qui ont une expérience similaire ou qui hésitent à tenter l'expérience?

Part 15
Have you ever had a horrible idea? I mean one that you know is a bad idea, but it's the only one you got. Like, you really have no choice but to do it, even though you know it's going to have consequences.
I had one of those.
And, as I said, it was the only idea I had. The only route forward at this point. So I kissed Inanna goodbye (okay, we did a lot more than kiss, since Kathy was waiting downstairs at this point) and left for my office.
The drive was a little disheartening. The police were out in force, as well as private security. Kathy explained how the Governor of Maryland and the Mayor of Baltimore had gotten together, along with a bunch of other big-city mayors and governors, and temporarily rolled back restrictions on armed security and a few other gun laws. There was, right now, no waiting period, no limits on what weapons armed security could carry, and Maryland was, at least temporarily, an open-carry state.
The Group weren't the only ones fighting back the zombies. As it turns out (no surprise to me, mind), the vampires weren't quite as dangerous as other kinds of blood-suckers out there. Destroying the heart or brain would kill them, sunlight sometimes killed them (but sometimes didn't), and they soaked in magic like a sponge. They had no real magic defenses at all, except for a few instances of one of them knowing some non-necromantic magic. But even that was more of an offense than a defense. Guns and spells were thus effective weapons against them.
But they had been busy. Just in the coastal northeast of the US, from Washington D.C. north, there had been over seventy five separate incidents of zombie attacks. And, like in the movies, the zombies could spread their conditions to those they bit. Magical healing was simple and effective, but the vast majority of medical treatment out there was not magical in nature. And most of that which was, wasn't direct magical healing, just magical variations of traditional medicine.
St. Johnsbury, in northern New York state, had been completely overrun, with almost six hundred killed and twice that wounded. More than half the town were casualties of one sort or another. The Group had sent the Blonde Bloc to do mass healing, so most of the injured survived, but still. Had we not responded so quickly, the evacuation camp down in Lebanon would have been overrun as well, probably resulting in the loss of that city, as well.
I took the drive slow, stretching the normally forty-five minute drive out into an hour, to give Kathy more time to get me caught up on the situation I'd been out of the loop on. We watched cops, looking alternately scared or bored as she laid it out to me. I saw security guards, mostly untrained except for a one-week course on security and a two-week firearms course, carrying cheap AR15s and wearing cheap flak jackets, looking more at ease than the cops, because these were the working-class preppers and gamers who had actually spent time thinking about what they would do in this situation.
Because it was a zombie apocalypse, really. It was just a bit slower than in the movies, and being combated with some effectiveness.
The National Guard had been mobilized, though I didn't see any trace of them beyond a few deuce-and-a-half trucks rumbling down the road, moving in the opposite direction. I knew they were organizing in their training centers, maintaining QRFs, Quick Reaction Forces, for deployment when the next attack happened. Kathy explained that they'd been deployed a few times, and had even fought off a horde of ten thousand zombies who'd tried to overrun the town of Jackman, Maine. The place had a population of under a thousand people, and it would have been a slaughter had a short division of the Maine National Guard not been running an exercise in the mountains just across the lake the town sat on.
Eventually, Kathy ran out of news that I didn't already know, and we finished the last five minutes of the drive in a comfortable silence. I pulled into the parking garage, having to submit to a retina scan and a voice print ID, as well as a magical scan which almost blinded the poor guard who did it. But I passed, and they let me through, to pull into my assigned spot.
We went up to the lab, where I found Franklin running the department.
"Damn good to see you, boss," he said, embracing me in a hug that would have corrected any spinal misalignment I had. I chuckled and patted his arms.
"Good to see you too, Franklin," I said. "How's things?"
"In the department? Not so good, really. We're supporting the mobilization effort, so all of our long-term projects are gathering dust. We've got six zombies and one vampire -who won't stop threatening the staff any time they come into view, mind- and we're giving them the gray alien abductee treatment."
I winced. "Anal probing?" Franklin sighed and nodded.
"It's the only way to gather some of the readings we need. The Agency straight up requested we do this stuff and showed us the orders -signed by the president, mind- to combat this using any means necessary. The zombies don't care, but that stupid vampire loses all her spit and fire when we scan her, and just cries like a lost little kid. It's affecting the staff. We tried sedation and even some analgesic, no pun intended, but none of it affects her."
"They do seem to be a bit bipolar," I said. "I've had one switch from threatening to... Well, I don't remember exactly, but it was gross and violent, to trying to rub her breasts against me while batting her eyelashes. Another one was just as wild with her moods, going from casually attempting to murder a teenager to crying like a baby because I... Well, she had a good reason to cry, I guess, but still."
Franklin nodded. "Yeah, I'm having to rotate staff. The ones who run the probes spend the next few days on babysitting, so she can make her threats and generally be a pain until they lose their empathy for her, then another group handles her for the next test. We're getting a little strung out."
I winced again. "I wish I was able to tell you that I'm back to run things, but honestly, I have something to do, and I need to be alone to do it, and then I'm probably going to be leaving."
"Well, that sucks," he said. Not even bothering to put a good face on it, which let me know he was understating the troubles he'd been having.
"I can stick around to help," Kathy said. Both of us turned to her, and she shrugged. "I do magical research in my off time. You taught me, Jerry, you know what I'm capable of. Where I can help out the most."
I nodded. "Thank you, Kathy." She shrugged and smiled. I turned to Franklin. "You can have her take my job, except for the admin stuff. I'm afraid you're stuck with that."
Franklin just grinned. "That'll still be a sweet relief. I appreciate it, Kathy."
He turned back to me. "So what do you need?"
"Um," I said. "I need to get into my private lab and to be alone for about an hour. Except for Kathy, but I'll send her out as soon as I'm done."
"Okay, no problem. We're, uh... We're keeping the vampire in there, though. Do you want me to have her moved, or..."
"No, it's fine," I said. "She doesn't have any probings scheduled for the next hour does she?"
"No, it's going to be another two days on that front," he said. "She... Well, she won't stay in her jumpsuit, though. And she was a knockout when she was alive. So we have some privacy screens in there. There's a gag, too, if she gets too obnoxious with the threats. And a straightjacket, but I'd recommend asking for help before you open the cage. She's injured four guards already."
I nodded.
"I think it'll be fine," I said.
----
It was not fine. A pair of expensive store-bought breasts were squeezed between the bars of the cage, blue veins against pale skin making a roadmap out of them. Her nipples were so pale as to almost be blue, which was obscene. One hand clawed at us as she snarled the same threat for the fifth time since we came in and chased out her babysitters.
"....your intestines out through your mouth!" she snapped. Kathy glanced over.
"It's like a train wreck," she said. "I can't help but look."
"It's like a porno parody of The Exorcist; 'I'll swallow your soul!'" I grumbled, eliciting a laugh from Kathy.
"Yeah, it really is. Hey! What's your name?"
The vampire snarled.
"Candy," I said. "That's what they have on the paperwork, anyways."
"Hey, Candy!" she called. "Why don't you shut up before I come over there and fuckstart your skull?"
I choked a little at the threat. It seemed a bit... Masculine in nature. I looked up from my reading. "Fuckstart her skull?"
Kathy shrugged. "I heard it in a movie once."
"I'll choke you to death on grool, you dyke bitch!" Candy the vampire snarled. I sighed.
"You ready to gag her yet?" Kathy asked. I had indicated my unwillingness to make the vampire's imprisonment less pleasant as soon as we walked in, but to be honest, I was seriously reconsidering.
"Let me try something else, first," I said.
Kathy rolled her eyes. "Oh, I know this trick..."
I stood up and walked over to the cage in the summoning circle. She tried to grab at me with her hand, so I snatched it up. She tried to yank me in, but even her vampiric strength wasn't enough for that. Besides, I'd been expecting it. I held onto her hand tightly and let my aura slip free, passing through the skin-to-skin contact, directly into her.
It seemed to work. I let go, the deed done. She stopped yanking and snarling and pulled her breasts out from between the bars with a pair of comical pops. She stood in the middle of the cage, panting and eyeing me.
"Be. Nice," I said. Then I went back to work.
I caught up on all my notes and began taking more notes on the adaptations I had in mind. Kathy was reading over my project outline still. I tend to be a little long-winded, even with the private stuff like this.
After a few moments, Kathy glanced up at the vampire and dropped the plastic-bound booklet in exasperation. "This is not an improvement, Jerry," she said. I frowned at her in confusion, then followed her gaze to the cage. At the same time, I noted the wet squishing noises.
"Oh, Jesus fucking Christ," I muttered.
She was laying on her bunk, knees up and spread, feet towards us, masturbating. And, instead of the clear-to-milky fluids that were usually involved in such acts, her fingers and groin were smeared with a greenish foam. Now that I was paying attention, I could hear her breathing, and it sounded labored and asthmatic.
"That's disgusting!" I told her. She didn't respond, she just kept pretending to be a hyperactive DJ. I stood and got the screens, pulling them into place.
"Stop!" Candy cried. I peered around the screen to see her head lifted up, meeting my gaze.
"I wanna see you," she breathed with the lewdest smile I've ever seen. I rolled my eyes and continued putting the screens in place.
"Why don't you bring me some hot coffee," she said.
"Why?" I asked. She stood and pressed herself into the bars again with another ridiculous pair of pops as her silicone implants pressed through.
"It'll warm up my throat," she said, grinning. "I don't have a gag reflex anymore."
My upper lip curled of its own accord. "Yeah, well, I do," I said. I finished hiding her from view with the screens and then walking back to the desk. A few seconds later, wet squishing sounds began to emerge again from behind them. I sighed and sat back down.
"I don't even understand how this is working," I told Kathy. "The other one had thoughts about not even being able to get wet anymore."
"It's snot," Candy called out. Both Kathy and I gagged.
----
Eventually, we managed to tune the disgusting thing out and get focused on our work.
"So this is legit?" Kathy asked. I nodded.
"How much progress have you made?"
"Enough that I'm confident it will work for this application."
"I thought we couldn't resurrect people anymore," she said.
"It's not the same thing, really," I explained. "Did you see the process notes?"
"Yeah, but it's like, the most complicated magic I've ever seen."
I nodded. "Okay, so basically, it creates a duplicate of a person at a certain point in time, then brings that duplicate forwards in time to the caster's point."
She eyed me.
"What?" I asked.
"Who?" she replied.
I sighed.
"Duke," I said. "Or Dylan, rather."
Kathy shook her head sadly.
"Man, you are playing with fire, Jerry."
I shrugged. "I need to know what kind of connection this cult has to the cult of Astoram. They're older than the latter, and Duke was the go-to man for that. He's the only one who could answer those question I know of."
"I know, it's just... Jesus Christ, Jerry, it took what, nine years to kill him the first time? And even then, that was only after he chilled the fuck out from villain to just plain asshole. And now you're gonna bring him back..."
I snorted a laugh.
"He's my nemesis," I said. "Or as close to one as I've ever had, really. But yeah. I need to know what he knows."
I finished taking my notes and began to look over them.
"He's not your nemesis, dude," Kathy said. Something in her tone made me look up. She was staring hard at me.
"It's obvious what this is about," she said. "Even if I don't understand how it works."
I shrugged and looked back down. "She was my best friend," I said quietly.
"She betrayed you. And me, and Inanna and Gary and Yarm."
"She was doing what she thought she had to do."
"She was obsessed with you. An unhealthy obsession, Jerry. You told me yourself, she went crazy when you told her there would never be anything like that between you."
I sighed and looked back up. "Ava," I said.
"What about her?"
"She moved on. She's with Luke, and happy. She had all of Sarisa's memories of and feelings for me, and she got past it."
"She was never a goddess," Kathy pointed out.
"She might as well have been," I said.
"She knew she wasn't."
I looked back, but was unable to concentrate on my work. I sighed again. "She was trying to save an entire world, Kathy."
"She was trying to do more than that," she retorted. "She was trying to convince you to be with her, and she was willing to turn you into a consummate asshole to do it. There's not a lot that scares me, Jerry, but the thought of you ruling the world with an iron fist, while not giving a shit about anyone but yourself? Top of the fucking list."
"That was just one possible future," I said.
"The most likely one," she pointed out.
I thew my hands up. "I'm not having utopian dreams about this, Kathy. I'm not expecting a perfect result that will resolve everything. I just want the chance to make it... A little more right than it turned out."
I sighed yet again, dropping my hands to the table. "I don't even know if I'll get that chance. I've been working this for years, and not had any luck in that regards."
"But you're confident it'll work on a human," she said.
I nodded. "I am."
"And you're confident you can handle this particular human?"
I nodded.
"Then do it," she said, standing up.
"Do me!" The vampire cried. I ignored her. But Kathy didn't.
"She's getting worse," she said. I sighed.
"The damage is already done," I said. "I can't take it back. The way the aura works... She's gonna be hot to trot for a while, and have a crush on me for much longer. She's got to get over it the old fashioned way."
Kathy smirked.
"What?" I asked.
"Well, you gave up on your rule..." she said. I cringed.
"No fucking way. It smells like a dead frog and butt sex in here and she's like fifteen feet away."
"You can fuck my butt if you want," Candy called out.
"Not likely to be a lot of shit in there, what with her liquid diet," Kathy said. I gave her a stinkeye and she giggled.
"Just saying."
"Say less," I deadpanned.
"It's your own fault, you know."
"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled.
"No, I mean it. You and your aura and your tight shirts and your bow ties and vests and your smoldering looks, and your non-stop flirting with everyone."
"I do not have a smoldering look," I said.
"Yes you do," she replied primly. I glared at her. "See? You're doing it right now."
"This is a glare," I said.
"Let me see," Candy interjected.
"You'd so hit that dead tail," Kathy teased.
"I would not," I objected.
"Dude, Inanna brought home a troll and you hit that. She looked like a ninety-year-old man, with ninety-year-old tits."
"That was me keeping a promise!"
"I'm only eighty-seven," Candy said.
"That troll would have been a hard pass for a basement-dwelling incel, dude, and you hit that. I bet you motorboated her. The hairiest lips ever. And you liked it. Probably pulling hairs out of your teeth for days, afterwards."
I felt my face flushing with heat. The troll shaman had been less than attractive, sure, but she knew what she was doing. And the hair didn't bother me.
"It was more fur than hair," I admitted. Kathy laughed.
"I haven't got a single hair below my eyebrows," Candy said. "Smooth as a baby."
"I have daughters, you psycho!" I finally replied. "That's not sexy!"
"Come here and let me change your mind," she replied. I sighed. Kathy covered her mouth and laughed into her hand.
"Go ahead," I told her. "Enjoy it while you can. I'm going to ask Franklin to put you on the next probing rotation."
"I wouldn't mind it so much if it was you doing it," Candy said. I threw my hands up.
"Fine!" I shouted. I marched over to the cage and pulled the dividers out of the way. Candy was, once again, pressed to the bars, her tits poking through, nipples aimed straight at me. I didn't hesitate, and grabbed one in a hard pinch.
"Ow-Oh fuck!" She started as a yell and ended in a moan as I let go of a bit of sex magic. Then she collapsed onto the floor, twitching.
"Holy shit, dude!" Kathy said. "Did you just give her epilepsy or something?"
"No," I said, watching her writhe and spasm, the only sounds she was making being little gasps and quiet moans. "I gave her an hour-long orgasm."
I looked Kathy in the eyes. "One hour. Enjoy the peace." I marched out of the room, Kathy's giggles mocking me as I left.
----
Esmeralda Boucher had something I needed.
We had given her a job after all the excitement years back, but she felt out of place up here. She had some family in Florida, however, so she'd gotten work and moved down there. I found myself on the shores of Lake Okeechobee, the dyke holding back the waters visible just a few hundred feet away as I knocked on the door of an apartment in a four-unit building.
I heard movement inside, and then the door opened a crack, a chain stretched out between it and the frame.
"Jerry," Esmeralda said. The door closed, then opened again, wider and without the chain. Esmeralda smiled her homely smile and I smiled back. We embraced right there, on the walkway.
"Is good to see you again," she said, her English much improved from the last time.
"Same, same," I said. "You look great," told her. She blushed and I felt a flash of her own powers wash over me, turning every aspect of her otherwise plain features into a sensual invitation for just a second.
"I am getting old, and age is not making me prettier," she said. "Come inside. Maria is out with her cousins, on the lake, so I have nothing happening."
I followed her inside and sat on the couch. We spent a few minutes catching up. She was working as a janitor at the Pahokee schools; elementary, middle and high, which were all next to each other. She was still single, but preferred it that way. Maria was growing up entirely too fast.
I told her about Sara and the body she found last year, how Aaina had moved in with Yarm Junior and how excited Inanna was at the prospect of becoming a GILF. I told her how the Group had a remote office in West Palm now, and told her I'd make sure she got hired for a lot more money than she was making here. She demurred, but I could see the interest in her eyes.
Finally, the topic of conversation turned to the events playing out around the US.
"You are involved, no?" she asked. I nodded.
"Yes. In fact..." I sighed heavily. "That's why I'm here. I need something from you."
"Anything," she said. "If you need it, then it must be important."
"Do you have any... Mementos of Dylan?" I asked.
She froze, her eyes going distant for a moment. Her face turned into a mask that I could not read.
"Why do you need it?" she asked, her voice emotionless.
"I need to... Talk to him," I said.
"To summon his soul? Why do you not just go to the afterlife?"
"I am... Not welcome, where he is," I said. "It's about divine politics. If I go there and get noticed, it could cause a serious problem for Yarm and some others."
"You are just going to talk to him?" she asked. I nodded. "That's the plan."
She eyed me for a moment, then nodded and stood. She stepped into the back room and returned holding a worn-out black leather jacket. As soon as she handed it over I could feel him in the leather. Hate and ambition, intellect and determination.
"This will do," I said. I looked over the thing, noting how worn it was.
"Do not let him come here," she said. I looked up and saw the fear and grim determination in her eyes.
"I don't want to see him. Maria doesn't need to see him. He is dead. He can stay dead."
I nodded. Esmeralda pulled me into a hug and I squeezed back.
"You are a good man, Jerry," she said. "Don't let him change you."
"Of course not," I said. She pulled back, then took my face in her hands and kissed me, first on the lips, then on both cheeks.
"And do not take so long to visit again," she said. I grinned.
"Take the job, Esmeralda. It'll give me an excuse to come visit more."
"I will think about it," she said.
Part 17

Axstrom's Notes

1. The list is here: big jump list
2. The draw (2-5309) is 684, 1751, 3836, 5226, 308, 838, 3166, 1175
   1. Drawing 5 so there are backups in case of issues, but the jumper gets to choose among 3
   2. 684 is Out of Context: Alternate Porno-flick Dimension Supplement (excluded)
   3. 1751 is Smallworld Gauntlet (excluded)
   4. 3836 is Nightmare City
      1. I have no idea what the source material for this is; the perks and items seem vague and not very translatable
   5. 5226 is Personal Reality Supplement (excluded)
   6. 308 is Out of Context Saiyan Supplement (excluded)
   7. 838 is Mario Hoops 3-On-3/Sports Mix Jump
      1. The perks are all very situational to this setting, and the items seem interesting but don't have a clear refresh
   8. 3166 is Warhammer Fantasy - Halflings of The Moot
      1. Going with this by default because it's
   9. Jumper chooses Halflings of the Moot
      1. Jump Doc
      2. Reddit discussion

Build Notes

1. Drawbacks - Just one since we're not short on CP, and just want to add some spice
   1. Leitdorf Comes A-Lynching - The Mad Count attempts a pogrom against Halflings 5, turning violent 5 years in
2. Companions - Keeping it simple with two - Shock was elected by the companions, and Seijiro for tactical matters, both as Halflings obviously
   1. Shock - coming in as a Cook, to align with other crafting abilities as well as functioning as halfling artillery
      1. Beekeeper - it feels like bees thematically align with Shock's horror trickster background, as well as synergizing with cooking
      2. Culinary Craft - freebie for cooks, and the halfling version is as good as a "basic cooking" perk is going to gets
      3. Not The Hot Pot! - Cook perk to act as Soup Artillery
      4. The Larder - a great selection of food sufficient for 50 people, refreshing hourly - appropriately the halflings get a powerful "free ingredients" perk
      5. Apiary - free (and basically necessary) for beekeepers
      6. The Cookbook - Magically updates, including notes for recipe variations
      7. Personal Chuckwagon - A traveling kitchen / pantry / hot-pot launcher, with aurochs to pull
   2. Seijiro - joining as Militia to provide some breadth to his martial training
      1. Protectin' The Range - freebie for militia providing general combat prowess (including improvised weapons) and tactical coordination
      2. Fieldwarden - a combination of tactical skills, medieval marksmanship, and social good-will
      3. War Ram - as in the animal, an armored mount which scales up in size with the rider in future jumps
      4. Gromril Chain Shirt - resists weapon and magic attacks
      5. Sword-n-Board - both are enchanted, and the shield absorbs projectiles that would hit you instead
      6. The Bow of Apple Oak - A magically accurate bow that quadruples shots from it
3. Origin - Thief Scout for me, since I don't have much for stealth already and there's not much power on offer here
4. Perks
   1. Halfling traits (free & mandatory) - barefoot ability, slight magic resistance, short, love food and comfort
   2. Sneaky Feets - free to scouts with a slight stealth boost and ability to escape
   3. Luck of the Indomitable - more than the usual "no bad luck can kill you", this is a big positive luck boost favoring stealth and subterfuge
   4. Enchanter (Shadow) - A mild amount of magic, synergy with stealth
5. Items
   1. Thieves' Tools - free to scout and self replenishing
   2. Glove of Swanky Pinching - sentient animated glove that steals for me, good for mischief if nothing else
   3. Magic Swag Bag - take a random item from a distant target, good for disruption
   4. Shepherd's Crook & Bell - like normal, but the bell rings if any of my "flock" are in danger, and can be used to round up my herd
6. Other
   1. 200 points for Luxury Apartments - since it's in-character with a halfling
   2. 200 points to the Body Mod
7. Scenario - The Fighting Cocks, Dogs of War - Languishing in Luccini
   1. I need to build a mercenary company and take out the current prince and his forces, all while making sure everyone involved acts upbeat and cheerful, in accordance with local laws
   2. Based on 40 militia tokens
      1. Enchanter - Light (Free hero) + Giant Eagle (2)
      2. Enchanter - Beasts (1)
      3. 100 Militia x5 (5)
      4. 50 Vigilante Guard x4 (4)
      5. 50 Scouts x2 (2)
      6. 50 Rangers x2 (2)
      7. 50 Fieldwardens x2 (2)
      8. 50 Crazed Chefs (2)
      9. 20 Moot Ogres x5 (5)
      10. 50 Ram Knights x2 (4)
      11. 15 Swan Riders x2 (2)
      12. 5 Bee Swarm (5)
      13. Hot Pot x3 (3)
      14. Chuckwagon (1)

Jump Notes

1. Much of our downtime before the next jump is filled with Pawl telling tales of our journey, as his storytelling has gotten quite good, and somehow the cat puns he works in are amazingly pawetic
   1. After a nice luxurious shower, I make a beeline for the Benefactor's Lounge to see what's on offer
      1. Nightmare City, a dystopian virtual world for furries
      2. Mario Hoops 3 on 3, a sports video game with a variety of minigames
      3. Warhammer Fantasy Halflings of the Moot, a Tolkien-inspired fantasy setting
      4. The first two options do not appeal to me at all, and seem like terrible places to spend ten years, and the last seems like there might be fun and interesting experiences, so the choice is obvious
   2. Without much more to go on, I assume there will be more old-school violence, and decide to bring Seijiro in addition to Shock, letting them know to prepare
      1. Shock seems excited about the potential to track down some fantasy monsters for use in making some nasty weapons
      2. Seijiro is a bit worried about another jump without modern amenities, but I let him know that halflings (or at least their inspiration) are experts in comfort and coziness
   3. The rest of the team seems enthusiastic, and asks us to come and fetch them for any parties and celebrations in the Shire Mootland
2. We arrive in the middle of a meeting with Lorenzo Lupo, which is something of a first
   1. Fortunately, he was monologuing about his family history and how his claim was rightful, allowing us to just smile and nod as we get our bearings
   2. I say we, because Shock and Seijiro were seated at my sides, posing as my personal chef and my head of security, respectively
   3. The negotiations have been wrapped up for a while, and we were just here to report on our recruiting efforts and expected timeline, which is rapidly approaching
   4. Having delivered the good news, and collected another month's wages for our army, we are given leave to return to the Moot to continue mustering our forces
   5. Rather than making the journey back by pony, we wander to a nearby farm where Shock and Seijiro distract the owners and workers while I slip into the barn and use the barndoor to retrieve my sleigh from the Warehouse, which makes the return voyage considerably faster with Shock driving us back while I channel some shaadow magic to obscure the flying sleigh from being easily noticed
3. Recruitment is actually done, and our fledgeling mercenary company has just been wrapping up training (for our recruits yes, but mostly for the giant swans we're going to field)
   1. Now that we're properly here, Seijiro trains our scouts and rangers on some of his "family secrets" while Shock takes stock of available components and reagents for her to work with
      1. I work with some of our specialty units on tactical and combat training
   2. We can't really bring our 1000+ person army over in the sled, so we have to march it up to Luccini
      1. Thanks to our contingent of cooks and expert foragers, the March goes well
      2. But it certainly isn't quiet, and as we near Luccini, I hear my new bell ringing loud and clear, shortly before their aerial marksman appear over a hill, and launcha volley of arrows at us
   3. We've already scouted a defensible camp location, so we head there and start building palisades and trenches on the perimeter
4. The conflict is a bit drawn out all told, but there are occasional highlights worth reminiscing
   1. One of our early moves is to smuggle our beekeepers in to town and hide them in safehouses
      1. The bees, meanwhile, have been enchanted and trained by our beast enchanter to individually seek out and sting Leonardo's forces, which damages morale and reputations, as it's hard to look jolly when you're constantly being stung
      2. The follow-up plan, siccing the bees on Leonardo and his advisors is equally successful, and soon the prince isolates himself in the castle rather than looking uncomfortable or paranoid about the stinging insects
   2. The opposing ten aerial marksman have experience with their flying rigs, but are unaccustomed to facing coordinated flying enemies
      1. Weeks spent drilling our Swan Riders (and of course the Swans themselves) in Basic Fighter Maneuvers and skirmishing with soft-tipped arrows pay off, as we take down half of their flyers within moments of engaging
      2. To their credit, Daddallo recognizes when he's outclassed and only commits to extremely brief flyovers from that point on, allowing us nearly uncontested air superiority
   3. My Flashback ability lets me see narratively important events in someone's life. Someone like the commanders of some of the mercenary groups arrayed against us
      1. The Skinks were obsessed with gold tablets promised to them by Leonardo; tablets which were "liberated" shortly thereafter by an incredibly stealthy teleporting halfling, who then offered one immediately to the skinks as a token of good will, and kept the rest to be delivered after Lorenzo takes the throne
      2. Voland's Venators love to fight, but more than that, they loved to indulge; an invitation to parlay with a variety of Halfling-made pies, fine mead from our beekeepers, and a hookah packed with potent pipeweed gave us a chance to bond over common interests
   4. The Marksmen of Miraglio consider themselves to be elite marksmen, able to shoot a coin at 300 paces with their high-draw crossbows
      1. So we arranged a demo of a magazine fed repeating crossbow shooting a melon five times in a row, followed by a demo of a high-draw cam crossbow that could be cocked even by a halfling, which Seijiro used to shoot a coin at 300 paces, while the coin was in the air (thrown by a very brave volunteer downrange)
      2. Not that this convinced them to switch sides, but it did show them what they were up against
   5. As we gained territory, we established dedicated shrines to the Leopard God, and gained its favor
5. With the reigning prince unwilling to leave his palace, and several of the mercenary companies either deserting or demoralized, things turned our way
   1. There were several assassination attempts against me and some of our elites, but the bell let me know about anything that slipped the notice of our scouts and rangers on watch duty
      1. And of course any sent after me were quite surprised that their poisons were completely ineffective and their stab wounds easily shrugged off while I hacked their limbs off with my axe
   2. Much of our force was split into squadrons with militia spearmen accompanied by a Fieldwarden Sargeant, a Ranger, a Scout, an Ogre, and a Crazed Chef, with such Squadrons running patrols in and around our territory
   3. The Leopard Company was our most numerous opposing force, and we trained our troops to fight defensively against them while the squadron scout sent up a signal, with signals being coded instructions for where our Hot Pot artillery or Swan Riders should strike
   4. Demoralization takes on additional weight in Luccini, where the regent (and his forces) are expected to show good cheer, and public opinion began to swing our way before long
   5. When public sentiment slipped too far, and Leonardo's presence in the city was demanded, he appeared of course, but it was not one of my soldiers that shot him with a crossbow when he grimaced after a beesting - the people of Luccini had spoken, and the language was death
      1. The Venators, Marksmen, Skinks, Birdmen, and surprisingly the Ogre Maneaters and Armored Orcs all had truce agreements even before Leonardo died, but the Marksmen and Venators agree to join our company conditional upon training for the Birdmen and extra provisions for the Venators
6. Having secured Luccini, Lorenzo held up his end of the deal, providing a significant amount of treasure, and arranging construction of an operating base in the Moot, complete with barracks, training facilities, workshops, and an extravagent mess and commissary area
   1. Of course we invited the other companions to join us for the feast after Leonardo's defeat, and the feast prior to starting our march back to the Moot, the feast when we arrived back in the Moot, the feast commencing construction of our base, the feast celebrating completion of our base, and a handful of other holiday and impromptu feasts and parties in between
7. Apparently our "unexpected" victory came with more than a little noteriety, as the Mad Count of Averland has begun railing against our company, and the Halfling race as a whole, pushing for our expulsion from the Empire.
   1. We have a little time to prepare before that gets serious, and enough treasure to pay our company's wages and expenses for the next few years at least
   2. Shock is tasked with working on artillery / siege / heavy weapons, including advanced hot-pot launchers and tactics, as well as other matters of engineering such as defensive constructions, watchtowers, and gunpowder concerns
   3. Seijiro works on training the Fieldwardens to train the rest of the recruits in basic physical fitness and combat proficiency, plus training scout + ranger duos to conduct guerilla warfare with sniping, traps, ambushes, misdirections, etc
      1. Veterans are tasked with occasionally accompanying Seijiro on a hunt for a wyvern or other great beast to bring back their bodies for Shock's work, and for these missions, Seijiro takes the sleigh to speed transit and help with the haul
   4. I work with our flyers ton continued aerial combat techniques, as well as high-altitude flight and parcel delivery (bombing)
      1. Most of them will never be Aces, but bombing practice is easy - just drop painted clay balls full of sand on a big target on the ground - Shock is working on the live ordnance
      2. I've also set up a few new facilities in and around our territory
   5. Our two enchanters are working on magic defenses
      1. The first is something like magical traps or landmines that won't trigger for halflings because of our low affinity for magic, but will trigger when large folk try to channel magic near them
      2. The second is classic abjuration that actually synergizes with our innate anti-magic properties to reduce the effects of magic on our territory
   6. My normally violence-averse countrymen are somewhat encouraged by our victory in Luccini but even more motivated by Count Leitdorf's outbursts
      1. As a result (and maybe thanks in part to the Brandenburg Gate), there are a fairly large number of "neighborhood watch" recruits, and our full-timers are training in earnest, even skipping meals for extra physical conditioning
8. Leitdorf's actual campain is a bloody affair
   1. His initial thrust cuts through the border villages like nothing, but fortunately the residents have learned to scatter and take to the hills
      1. With a little bit of "soft" work from a visiting Boudicca, a number of their vanguard desert the cause, and head to the capital to testify (and hopefully buy us some relief)
   2. Thanks to our maps, we'd predicted three likely routes for them, and they took the one we thought most probable, right down to where they set up their camps
      1. This meant we had some significant preparations made along the way
   3. So we chose roughly when and where to fight our first big "battle"
      1. The "when" was long enough after sunset that it would be dark, but not so long that fires would be out and their eyes would be adjusted
      2. The "where", for us, was 15km away, shelling their camp with the 130mm cannons from Shock's Sarena prototype frame
      3. Needless to say, their casualties were high, and when they tried to sortie out of camp, they found no one nearby
   4. We continue to play "the shell game" with them for several days, with variations
      1. like a squad of ninja-trained rangers to ambush their investigating wizards
      2. Or having the ordnance dropped from high-altitude swan riders as impact-triggered bombs, confusing their divination attempts
      3. Or setting off a massive cache of gunpowder buried under the place we expected them to make camp
      4. Or, my personal favorite, a precision strike on their own gunpowder barrels, causing massive damage to their camp and disrupting supplies for their gunners
   5. Meanwhile our company of "foreign scouts" has been stirring up havoc in Averland, largely stealing from farmers and ranchers who can't keep watch all night and work during the day, but also occasionally taking whatever they can from the manors of various Knights and prominent families when they spot an open window
   6. Of course they caught and slew many halflings near their route of conquest during this time, and we weren't lucky enough to get their commander's tent with anything serious
      1. Which makes me suspect he has some luck-related blessings of his own
   7. Leitdorf begins sending whole companies on patrol, hoping to catch our artillery in the act
      1. But this just gives us an opportunity - without their numerical advantage, our mercenaries and militia are able to put up a decent fight and whittle down their numbers, while our Light enchanter keeps our casualty count low
   8. Having significantly whittled down his forces (while cutting off his retreat), I challenge him to a duel for insulting the honor of the halflings
      1. Being mad, he agrees to meet me in person, rather than via champions
      2. He selects pistols as the weapon, probably out of some sense of it being an equalizer for my short stature
      3. The duel itself is fast - My M1911 custom is far more accurate than his flintlock pistol, and its bullet easily shatters his kneecap
      4. With that, he must personally acquiesce, and even his most hard-hearted troops would find no honor in continuing
9. With the Mad Count crippled and honor-bound to abandon his campaign, things quiet down in the Moot for most
   1. My crew and I take our grievances to Emperor Karl Franz for allowing this disgrace, and while he doesn't admit culpability, he does acknowledge that we the Empire did wrong by us
      1. He sanctions us to demand reparations from Averland, so we demand all the warhorses in the Count's stable as a matter of insult - he prizes his own horse above all else, and everyone knows the halflings won't make good use of them
   2. We do not seem to have kickstarted a strong martial tradition among the Halflings - the moment the threat recedes, a month of feasting is declared and after the first victory feast, the majority of our "professional" soldiers quietly disappear to celebrate in their hometowns
   3. Those halflings (and other recruits) who are committed to the martial life continue to find gainful employment as veteran mercenaries
      1. Most of them ended up going to the northern provinces to fight back the invasions of Chaos forces and orcish hordes
      2. And our company frequently hires out small squads of trained "monster hunters" led by Seijiro who collect their pay and always bring the best parts back for Shock to make use of in equipping our elites
   4. And at one last feast, I publicly make a surprise announcement of retirement, handing over leadership of the company to Lumpin Croop, who nearly chokes on his wine at the news
   5. That night, Shock, Seijiro, and I gather a few momentos plus a stash of mead, pipeweed, bacon, and monster parts, and say goodbye to the Empire of Man as we slip back into the warehouse

Notes on the Jump Doc

1. This is an interesting jump because it's such an epic setting, but the options for jumpers here tend to be so low-stakes - you can become really good at farming or ranching
2. The perks and items have a good mix of fluff and crunch
   1. They tend to be wordy, but nothing outrageous
   2. The followers available are amusing, but I'd wonder about anyone who takes them
3. The threat level is generally military in scope, but could be higher or lower depending on what you choose, and the powers available to jumpers tend to be mostly mundane, but there are some cool options
4. I like the way the author worked in scenarios and made the jump a bit more interesting by saying you have to pick one which makes you the leader of a mercenary company for at least some time
5. Of course, there is a lot of good supporting material for the setting online
6. Overall, I like this jumpdoc
7. I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to pick up some good pastoral perks (or items) or wants to pick up a small, low-tier army as followers

22 - Warhammer Fantasy - Halflings Of The Moot Build

Point Summary

Point Total: 1300 CP 1000 (Base) + 300 (Jump Drawbacks)

Jump Details

Document name: 22 - Warhammer Fantasy - Halflings Of The Moot Author: Beast?

Jump Duration

Years: 10 Months: 0 Days: 0

Origin

Origin: Scout Now if there’s one thing you should know about the short folk of The Moot - those nimble fingers do more than just cook, cobble, and weave. Indeed, simply because of their massive and extended families, Halflings have very loose ideas on what personal property means. This leads to two things: An unfortunate stereotype that you can’t trust the little bastards around anything without having valuables go missing, and some halflings discovering that there is a certain thrill to sneaking away shiny goods without being caught. Course they don’t call it anything so crude as thieving, you understand.

Perks

Halfling Traits (Free)
When man first came over to the World’s Edge Mountains, the halflings followed. The dwarves recorded them as “beardless manlings we first thought to be children.” That description is not far off. As a halfling, you are only about three- to four-feet-tall, with the proportions to match. Most halflings, both male and female, oft have a beergut to match their desire for both good food and a comfortable life. I’ll leave that particular detail up to you. Their feet, large and hairy on the tops, are naturally thick-skinned and leathery - rendering boots and other forms of footwear redundant as they can even walk on broken glass or jagged mountainous trails without damage. This and their naturally quick fingers and quiet movement lend halflings a natural intuition at stealth and sneaking about - fitting with their lack of physical strength. Lastly, halflings have a native resistance to magic, both beneficial and harmful. It is not to the same extent as dwarven near-immunity, but a fireball that would severely burn a human soldier will leave a halfling singed and momentarily blinded. After your decade here is up, you may choose to have your halfling form available as an alternate form to transform into.
Sneaky Feets (Free)
Halflings are naturally inclined towards two things. Cooking, and subtlety. Their massive feet are oddly built for subtle, light, quiet movement despite their appearance, and their small frames in conjunction lead to a species almost naturally built for burglary. Most don’t, or at least don’t admit to it. You’re one of the ones that does. You’re a halfling thi- I mean scout, with all that that entails. You’re good at your job, enough to start making your name. Sneaking past manfolk and greenskins? Check. Lockpicking your standard locked safes and doors in a city? Check. Climbing up both tree branches, housing gutters, windows, and chimneys? You’re decent at it. Doing all that while carrying a freshy-pilfered bag of loot? You know it, my boy. And most importantly of all, you know how best to fucking leg it when you’re discovered mid-theft. Let me tell you, this skill’s severely underappreciated.
Luck of the Indomitable [200/800 CP]
When you look at the legend of Clegg the Indomitable, one in particular notes the amount of loot he has acquired both by sheer luck and burglary. His trusty swag bag, the lockpicks of Dimminu, the great sword-axes of Ostland, the Golden Rooster of Luccini, among many. Many others. His luck in both opportunity and operation is certainly the major chunk of his story. Now the same goes for you. You have absurd luck, when it comes to two things: Finding treasures both magical and mundane, and acquiring those treasures by whatever means you concoct; Particular favor being shown to methods that entail stealth and subterfuge. This luck is, in fact, so absurd that it almost resembles a blessing from Ranald himself, the trickster-god of thieves and gamblers.
Enchanter (Shadow) [100/700 CP]
Halflings are very resistant to magicks, but unlike the Dwarves have a fascination for the aethyric arts. Such appreciation even sees Imperial Wizards always being able to get a free meal or overnight inn room in the Mootland in exchange for a magical performance. Alas, for a halfling to be able to overcome their resistance and be able to wield even one of the Winds of Magic is a monumental effort. You’re one of the few halflings to have done so, becoming an Enchanter. Select one of the Lores taught by the Imperial Colleges of Magic: Fire, Beasts, Heavens, Light, Life, Metal, or Shadow (as unfortunately, due to proximity to Sylvania the idea of a halfling practicing the Lore of Death is a frank impossibility). You know a marginal amount of its beginning spells such as how to generate fireworks with the Lore of Fire, or quickening the growth of barley and fruits with Life. Unfortunately due to the Halfling magic resistance, the Winds of Magic just refuse to accumulate near you long enough to use any stronger spells. After your decade in this realm is over, that particular downside goes away luckily enough.

Items

Shepherd’s Crook & Bell [200/500 CP]
The venerable shepherd’s crook is a tool that has lasted for about as long as mankind and other races have domesticated animals. You have a truly ancient example of such a crook, perfect for both catching and pulling along your herd in case of obstinance or a sheep getting itself stuck in a shrub, and strong enough to crack open an orc’s skull without breaking itself. Tied to the crook is a small silver bell. The tinkling of the bell, when you shake with intent, causes the animals you’re watching and herding to gather at your feet immediately. All other attempts to make the bell ring simply see it noiselessly shaking, because it has one other helpful use: Should there be an imminent threat to you or those you call your ‘flock,’ the bell will begin incessantly ringing, louder than it reasonably should.
Thieves' Tools (Free)
YOU MEAN SCOU-... S-scout’s to- Okay no. There’s no defending these. A file, a set of lockpicks, a small mirror mounted on a metal handle, a set of narrow scissors, and a pair of pliers, wrapped up in a rawhide sheet - there’s no other use for things like these except for breaking and entering. But these tools will take you far in that endeavor, and should any one tool break you’ll find it replaced almost immediately. It’s magical nonsense, who knows where they come from.
The Glove of Sneaky Pinching [100/400 CP]
A deranged Enchanter was on a very drunken bender one night in Nuln. Or were it Tilea. Either way, he had come into the ownership of a set of rags that had once been part of an Arabyan flying carpet. Not wanting to let the fine fabric go to waste, the halfling set about with the stitching and sewing - and created the world’s first and only flying kleptomaniacal glove. Said glove then came into the ownership of one Clegg, master burglar. Well actually it looks like there’s a pair of gloves now. The other is in your possession - a flying glove made of the finest Arabyan silk, seemingly sapient and hungry to steal shinies and lootables. In particular it seems to enjoy swiping weapons and armaments from a foe’s belt or hands without them even noticing until a smidgeon too late.
Magic Swag Bag [200/200 CP]
The origin of Clegg the Indomitable’s magic sack is ambiguous and mysterious, a question wrapped in a riddle. It probably wasn’t very legal, in any case. But Clegg’s “swag bag” as he terms it is a potent magical rucksack - which happens to now have a brother in your own magicked sack - that improves the expert cat burglar’s thieving techniques. The bag works by its holder - you or Clegg in this situation - staring at a person with highly valuable, and magical, artifacts on their person. While staring at them, you just reach into the swag bag, and mysteriously one of the items that person was carrying is gone. Instead it’s now in your hand, ready to be used as you see fit. The item stolen is, unfortunately, rather random at best - you might be wanting to swipe their enchanted sword, but instead get a person’s magical belt of strength enhancement.
PR Luxury Apts [200/0 CP]
(Purchase with CP)

Companion Imports

The Gang's All Here [100/-100 CP]

Drawbacks

Leitdorf Comes A-Lynching [300/200 CP]
Oh you’ve absolutely fucking done it now. Marius Leitdorf, The Mad Count of Averland, has reignited his insane hatred for the stunted Halfling race all over again, and somehow it’s all your blasted fault. To make matters worse, the nation of Averland is mobilizing to begin a purge of your kind from the Empire of Man, starting at a political level and gradually turning into violent riots and ethnic cleansings.
All this will come to a head in five years, when Leitdorf himself mobilizes the armies of Averland - armed with the finest gunpowder weaponry and guided by the most masterful of wizards from the Colleges of Magic. They will begin by burning down The Moot, and then Leitdorf will turn them to another cause: Hunting you down. You have but one objective here: Survive.
To make matters slightly easier for you, a few words of advice and caution: Averlanders as a people are slightly off-putting and mental compared to other Tall Ones of the Empire, given to flights of fancy and severe belief in superstitions. As well, the current reigning Emperor, Karl Franz, would not have made it onto the throne without the vote of the Elder of the Moot. Petitioning him for aid in staving off the Mad Count is feasible.

Hiya y'all! Been listening to a lot of japanese songs lately lol, specially J-Pop, City Pop and J-Rock! And I love finding some new artists and bands. More music is never too much, I say. :P, as such, I decided to post on here asking for recommendations. You can recommend me anything as long as it's japanese, with my preferences being the genres above, but anything goes! Here are some of the good shit I listen to, with my favorites being in bold letters:
7!!
Anri
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION
Aqua Timez
BABYMETAL
ClariS
Cidergirl
Cö shu Nie
Daoko
Do As Infinity
Eve
FLOW
Goose House
Hello Sleepwalkers
HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR
Home Made Kazoku
HoneyWorks
Ikimonogatari
Joe Inoue
Jun Togawa
KANA-BOON
Kumi Koda
LiSA
Lil'B
Linked Horizon
LM.C
L'Arc-en-Ciel
Mafumafu
majiko
Mariya Takeuchi
Miki Matsubara
MY FIRST STORY
NANO
Nightmare
ONE OK ROCK
ORANGE RANGE
PornoGraffitti
PSYQUI
RADWIMPS
ReoNa
Rie fu
ROOKiEZ IS PUNK'D
Sayuri
SCANDAL
Shinsei Kamattechan
SID
Stereopony
Such
Sukima Switch
Supercell
Taeko Onuki
takayan
Takeshi Abo
the GazettE
THE ORAL CIGARETTES
Tia
tofubeats
Tomoko Aran
TUYU (I was legit on the top 7% listeners on Spotify, yaaay)
UVERworld
YOASOBI
Yorushika
Yoko Takahashi
Yousei Teikoku
ZUTOMAYO
μ's
Sorry for the long as heck list XD, it's just so I can get great recommendations and no artists that I already know. Also, sorry if the list is messy af, I'm using the mobile app

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Powered by Astalavista - Adam gibi porna film izle sitesi; Bilindiği üzere mobil reklamlar yüzünden Xvideos filmleri izlemeniz tamamen imkansız hale geldi artık sansürsüz ve reklamsız seks izleyin diye ücretsiz hızlı videolar izlet Adult film sitesi ile seyrettiğiniz videoları indirebilirsiniz özetle hem porna seyret hemde pornu video indir bu web sayfası en kolay alışkanlığınız olacak. Genellikle astalavista sex ve tecavüz porno video arşivi yada DoEda kanalları, ilginç pornolar, benzersiz sexk izleme dahası ise Anal sex görüntüleri türk ifşa tumblr özetle çağımızın en iyi am, göt, sik, meme videosu dünyadaki çeşitli sunuculardan bedava yayınlanmaktadır. Hava kararınca bedava zorla porn sex filmleri seyret yada gündüz olunca sabah kuşağında taş gibi bir hatun ile oral seks yapabilirsin tüm bunları ücretsiz götten sikiş videoları ile gerçekleştir. Astalavista porno filmler sayesinde Full HD porna izlemek istemez misiniz? cevabınız evet ise kisa porno videolar akıllı telefonunuz üzerinden güvenli Wi-Fi bağlantısı yada 3G, 4G, 4,5G, 5G tamamen ücretsiz hatta kesintisiz ve naklen yayınlanıyor online sex için mobil pornalar seyredin. Kısa porno seyretmek isteyen lezbiyen kadınlar sitemizi ziyaret etmek için lez videosu arıyor olabilir Grup seks, götten sikiş hastası yada seks filmleri gibi çeşitli +18 videolar adresinde Xnxx gizli saklı olmadan yayınlanıyor yeni porno izleme dergisi bile geride kalmış İnternet teknolojisinin harika fikirlerini geçemiyor 3D sanal gerçeklik gözlüğü ile VR porno izle yada kendine bir iyilik yap bu İnternet sitesinde arkadaşların ile beraber Gangbang tadında 4K sexli filmler seyret. Dünyaca ünlü +18 yasaklı video sitelerine giriş yapmak istiyorsanız yolunuz bir şekilde DoEda tarafından geçer sonrası pratik giriş sayesinde yüz binlerce videolara kolaylıkla ulaşabilirsiniz, bu sayede VPN yada Proxy gibi uzun soluklu uygulamalara APK gibi telefon uygulamasına ihtiyacınız olmadan giriş yapabilirsiniz.
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All year I was tormented by this annoying ass ad being sung by Zach Braff and Donald Faison over and over again all year! It's maddening! Every time I want to watch a YouTube video! I get these 2 singing about how much they love T Mobile's internet! Nonstop! It would be fine if it's like 1 maybe 2 times but over 100. Ah hell no! Plus the ad is unskippable to add salt to the wound! Like I want to watch a video 🎶I got home internet by T Mobileee! It only cost $50 at T Mobile🎶 clicks on another video. 🎶I got home internet by T Mobileee! It only cost $50 at T Mobile🎶 another video 🎶I got home internet by T Mobileee! It only cost $50 at T Mobile🎶 SHUT UP!!!!!!! I'll see these 2 in my nightmares singing about a stupid internet package. Congratulations Zach and Donald. You ruined Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin from Oklahoma! This is as bad as how much I got tortured by the damn emu and porno mustache insurance guy last year! Why do you play the same ad over and over again youtube! Ugh!

Hey, I was thinking about this lately and I figured it was worth a post. We know who the voice actors are in the Max Payne games, and we know fairly well who the models for Max Payne 2 were, as Remedy could afford to hire professional models by then. But who were the models in the first game, and how were some of them connected to the creators of the game?
Max Payne - Sami Järvi or Sam Lake, writer and creative director at Remedy. I think he is likely the most well-known amongst fans, it would be hard to find any fans of Max Payne who don't know that Sam Lake is the character model in the first game (including the in-game models as well as the graphic novels). He is also featured in Max Payne 2 as some of the characters on the in-game TV shows, and more recently, as the model for Alex Casey in the Alan Wake universe.
Michelle Payne - Tuuli Reijonen was the model for Max's late wife according to my google search findings ("Max Payne Wiki"). I did not find anything about her.
Alex Balder - Max's undercover friend who is killed early on was portrayed by Jani Niipola, another friend of Sam who is a freelance writer as well as the director for Fashion Finland, a fashion community, meeting place and the leading media specialized in fashion and design in Finland.
Joey Finito - Aki Saariaho played Joey Finito, one of the early bosses in MP1. He has some online presence that reveals he is a philosophy teacher in Espoo, Finland. He is also active in volunteering as well as politics and he was a local Green party candidate for Espoo in 2021.
Virgilio Finito - The other Finito brother was portrayed by Teemu Järvi. He is a known Finnish designer, illustrator and artist, known for his illustrations of nature and wildlife in Finland. I believe he is a younger brother of Sam Lake, but I'm not completely sure.
Jack Lupino - The insane occultist gangster was played by Rami Lehtimaki. Not much is known about him.
Vladimir - Marko Saaresto was the character model for the Russian in the first game. He is the lead singer and writer for the Finnish alternative rock band Poets of the Fall. Marko is a friend of Sam Lake and Sam wrote the poem that served as the basis for the Poets of the Fall song "Late Goodbye" that was heavily featured in Max Payne 2. (Poets of the Fall is also known as Old Gods of Asgard and is featured in Alan Wake.) Marko also shows up along with Sam Lake in the in-game TV shows in Max Payne 2.
Vinnie Gognitti - Olli Tukiainen, the lead guitarist of Poets of the Fall gave his likeness to the whiny gangster Vinnie in MP1.
B. B. - Aki Järvilehto portrayed the dirty cop B. B., the Backstabbing Bastard who killed Alex and framed Max for the murder of his friend. Aki is a co-founder and COO of Finnish game studio Metacore (formerly Everywear Games), founded in 2015 as a gaming studio specifically targeting the Apple Watch as a platform. Since then, the Helsinki-based startup moved on to mobile games.
Mona Sax - The femme fatale was portrayed by Carol Kiriakos, a psychologist and writing coach from Helsinki, Finland. Among other things, she is teaching writing workshops that utilize creative writing techniques and behavioural psychology to help academic writers.
Alfred Woden - The Senator and secret manipulator of the Inner Circle, as well as the man featured on the "One-Eyed Alfred" blackmail porno tapes, was played by Markku Järvi, none other than Sam Lake's dad.
Nicole Horne - The evil witch behind all of Max Payne's troubles in the first game, also President of Aesir Corporation and the mastermind behind the Valkyr crisis, was played by none other than Tuula Järvi, Sam Lake's mom.
There are quite a few characters I couldn't identify yet. However, an interesting one is that Candy Dawn is in the credits as "Candy Dawn (as herself)". Who could be the mystery person who seemingly did not want to be known as the one who portrayed a shady New York sex worker with ties to the mafia? :) We will likely never know!
(If anyone has any corrections, let me know!)

bak şimdi ilk öncelikle lore u anlaman için en sağlıklı başlangıç devil mey zort 2 dir. dante olarak başladığımız oyunda babasının penis topcuklarını kaybeden dante bunun kahrı ile atıldığı ve iblislerin taşşaklarını çalarak hangisini babasına monte edip 3 yıldız alarak ana okulu geçebileceğini konu alır devil mey cum 2. dmc2 oynadıkdan sonra ilk işin tabii ki metal can gear 1 oynamak olucak, bu oyunda snake 31 maceralarını raiden ile anlatır. tabii bu dmc ile ne alakası var diyeceksin, çok alakası var kardeşim. raiden ı tanıyoruz bu oyunda. neyse, ondan sonra nfs underground 2 den devam ediyoruz, burada araba sürme mekaniklerini çözüyoruz ve loreda ilerleme katettiğimiz gibi dünyada olan bitenleri öğreniyoruz. arada opsiyonel olarak capcomun hediye paketi gibi yığdığı pubg mobile skinleri ile dolu olan amogus var. Kardeşim, bu multi oyunu ne alaka amk? derseniz cevap basit arkadaşlar. DMC sadece dünyayı ele almıyor, tüm evreni ele alıyor. DMC evrenini tanımak için amogus loreunu öğrenmeniz gerek, tabii bu zorunlu değil. OPSİYONEL. bunuda geçtikden sonra devil may cry oynayın, hangi oyun dicekseniz harbi şeytanı ağlattıkları oyun, 6. oyun yani. orada arap ve meksika karışımı olan danteyi oynicak ve fransız vergil ile kapışmanızdaki maceralara adım atıcaksınız. Ne alaka diyen olursa cevap yine basit, dante var, vergil var, yarramın başı var. Bu oyunda ise kardeşler ilk defa karşılaşıyor ve vergil anasının amına geri gönderiliyor. Tabii bununla sınırlı değil. Dante maalesef çok iş alabilen ve çokta zengin birisi değil, tanıştığı zenci bi adam onu porno sektörüne sokuyor çünkü dantenin paraya ihtiyacı var. İşte burada Ninja Gaiden Lore'una çomağı sokuyoruz dostum benim. Dante garip gurup kostümler girmiş elemanları aslında penis olan ama silah şekli almış şuriken gibi aletler ile düşmanları tek tek DEŞİYOR. bu oyun ise dantenin bir ninja costplayi ile porno sektörünü gerçek manada nasıl delip geçtiğini anlatıyor. Tabii bununla sınırlı değil; dante kazandığı parayla 2 villa arayım derken discorddan tanıştığı bi panelci hıyara tüm parasını çaldırtıyor ve dantede "qardeşim yorganı ddaşşşşana göre uzat" diyerek öğüt vermesiyle beraber yeni maceranın kapısı aralanıyor. Bu seferde call of duty modern warfare 1 olaya dahil oluyor. Bu arada yeni sürümü değil, eski mw1. Çünkü yeni mw1 i capcom oynamış, koca götlü havalı bir amogus karakteri yok diye reddetmiş demiş eski oyunun lore u koymam yeniye, yeni olana gidin yeni şeyler koyun banane amk demiş vurmuş elini masaya kavga çıkmış fecide oraları paylaşamam sonra dava falan yerim. Neyse, dante başlıyor askere gidiyor, tabii dante yarı iblis yarı insan anasını satayım danteye koymaz bu askerlik. Dante vatan hainliği yapıyor ve tüm askeriyeyi tavan ediyor, 2-3 şey çalıyor ve task force a katılıyor. Parasını çalan panelci hıyarı arıyor arıyor bulamıyor abi, tabii oyunun sonlara doğru dante o çocuğu buluyor. O kadar uzun süredir arıyorki çocuk büyümüş, askere başlamış. O sırada dante win7 pcden açtığı cmd uygulaması ile klavyeye rastgele basarak porno bulma umudunda aga, sonra bi tuş geliyor böyle basıyor gidiyor atom bombasını salıyor. Diyor dante; "ulan zaten paramı çalana parçapacak hakkı haram olsun." diyor ve böylece o atom bombası faciası gerçekleşiyor. bu olaylardan sonra dante hemen task forcedan ayrılmayı hedefliyor, ve cod mw1 bittiği gibi bu oyunda bitiyor. Bundan sonra DMC4 geliyor arkadaşlar. Vergilı DmC de yenmiş olan dante, yamatoyu almadığını yeni hatırlıyor (mal dante) ve yamatoyu aramaya çıkarken vergilın çocuğu nero ile karşılaşıyor, devamını biliyorsunuz. Vergilın kılıcı olan yamatoyu almak istiyor dante ama nero fantastik erotik şeylere kapıldığını falan düşünüyor o yüzden almıyor, zaten dantede 2 tane hatun var anasını napacak yamatoyu? işte burada nero olarak devam ediyoruz. Dante son model bugattisine atlayıp hawaiiye doğru sürmeye başladıkdan sonra kyrie ile nero evlenmek için uğraşmaya başladılar, sabah akşam nero türk genci gibi iş ararken işsiz kaldığını farketti ve dantenin devil may cry dükkanında işe başladı. Ama mağlum, dantenin kendisi daha kilot parası çıkartıyor, nero nasıl kazanıcak amına koyayım? Neroda kyrie nin yüzüne bakamaz olmuş, her eve geldiğinde kyrie ile kavga ediyorlarmış çünkü daha kyrie nin götüne külot alacak parası yokmuş. Sırf bu yüzden sabah akşam kyrienin götünü tam tamına gecelik saatliğine 5 tlye sikiyorlarmış! durum o kadar vahim oğlum daha nasıl izah edebilirim gözünü seveyim? Nero artık kyrienin götünde açılan deliklere katlanamıyor ve macerasına atılıyordu. Nero, spidermanin kıyafetini çöpe attığı yere doğru sürdü arabası ile ve oradaki çöpü karıştırmaya başladı. Çünkü aptal marvel fanlarının oraya kıyafetlerini atıcağını bilecek kadar zeki bir karakterdi nero. Nero çöpün arasına atlamış ve karıştırmışken harika şeyler buldu! Beşiktaşlı bornoz ve zenci peruk. İşte bunları giyerek hırsız olmaya karar verdi nero. Tabii kılığını ve kimliğinide değiştirdi, onurlu bir erkek olan nero kyrienin yüzüne bakacak kadar onura sahip değildi, zayıflamıştı! Bu arada bunlar sıradaki oyunda ve azıcıkta mangada geçiyor, Ve sıradaki oyunumuz Katana Zero. nero elalemi yamato ile parçalarına bölüp eşya çalaktı! ve burada oyun başladığı gibide kısa bir indie oyun olduğundan (capcomun) hemen bitsede neronun devamı böyleydi. Eee, tabii sırada bombastik bir oyun ve bombastik bir çar var! EVET! Vergil değil. Sıradaki oyunumuz Need For Speed Most Wanted 2005. Dante altındaki bugattisindeki ekranda pubg mobile oynayamadığından delleniyor ve arabasını satıyor, bu sattığı parayla İmparator FM açabilen bir araba alıyor, BMW m3 e46. bu arabayı az modifiye ediyor, rockporta gittiği gibi şehiri domine ediyor yolların amına koyuyor. Tabii bununla kalmayıp razor ibnesi ilede yarışıyor, razorda eli çabuk adam. Az hırsızlık yapmamış ibne. Gördüğü gibi bmw m3 üne taşşakları vuruyor benzinliğe, araba yamuluyor. Vay yaşvak razor bi görsem mahallede çok feci döverim olum. Biz zamanında bu razor ibnesini dövmek için aramızdan birisini razor seçer, o çocuğu 2 haftalık hastanelik ederdik. Ama özellikle 2 hafta bu arada, rastgele değil. Özellikle 2 haftalık hastanelik olacak şekilde döverdik. Adam sinirimizi hafife almasın, edepli ve düzenli çalışırız. Neyse, bu oyundan sonra DMC3 e geçiyoruz. Arabası ile giden Dante, artık imparator FMin desteği kesildiği için kendisini ahmet kayanın canlı konserlerine vermiş gidiyor arabası ile, karşısına aniden atlayan twerk canavarı kerimcan durmazı gördüğü gibide arabada taklalar atarak frene basıyor ve kerimcan durmaza çarparak onu köprüden aşağıya düşürüyor. İblis avcısı dante, katil olduğunu farkedince dayanamıyor ve 31 patlatıyor. O sırada bide ne görsün, koca bir kule. Bu kule 9 yaşlarındayken Vergilın lego koleksiyonu ile yaptığı kulenin ta kendisi. Dante, vergilın sikik fantezisinden vazgeçemediğini anlıyor ve havalı şekilde koşarak maceraya başlıyor. Dante vergil ile 1. kez karşılaşıyor, yeniliyor. 2. kez karşılaşıyor, yeniliyorlar. Arkham geliyor elini atıyor. Yavşak manipülatör arkam. Arkham ise bu seride dahil olmuş, ayaknokoji, monster, patrik batman gibi adamları sektirebilecek bir tip. Motivasyonu en favorimdir bu arada. Arkham küçükken hep half life sunucularını domine etmek istemiş ama unlost isimli bir ibne çok iyi oynuyor diye tüm kariyerini bitirdiğinden sigara yakmış ve gerçek hayatta ananlostu bulup patlatmak için tiktok editleri izlemeye, popüler manipülabastürmasyon animeleri izlemeye ve manipülabastürmasyon karakterlerle aşk yaşamaya başlamış. Bunları örnek almış ve yeni bir kimlik olan Arkhama bürünerek bir kadınla evlenip ondan çocuk yapmıştır. Kadını manipüle ederek evlenmişler ve kadından bir çocukları olmuştur, Adı mary ve kız. Dante az yavşamadı sanki anasını ama epeyde red yedi dante agabe F F FFD FF FFF FF neyse arkhamın asıl amacı ise yamatoyu çalmak ve futa world e portal açıp gitmekti, tabii vergil bunu arkhamdan dayak yedikden sonra anlıyor ve yamatoyu vermiyor, 2. dövüşten sonra arkham bir sigara yakıyor ve salak saçma rapler yaparak ilahi güce ulaşıp yok oluyor. 3. savaşa kadar dante ve vergil aralarında uno maçları atıyorlar, bir dante yeniyor, bir vergil. bu arada mary napıyor diye sorucak olursanız o lady arkadaşlar mary kullanmıyor. Lady o sırada kumarda parasını katlayıp tiktoker olmakla meşgul. Ve bir süre sonra 3. savaş geliyor, vergil isal olduğundan her an osurabilceğini düşünüyor ve o kokuyu kardeşinin üstüne salarak onu sonsuz bir ölüme kitlemek istemediğinden kendisin cehenneme postalıyor, dante habersiz olduğundan YA HABİBİ JİBBO JİBBO kafası ile vergile el atıyor ama vergil yamato ile elini keserek cevabı verdikden sonra altına sıça sıça paçasından fırlayan isal boku ile cehenneme düşüyor. Peki vergilde yamato napıyor, hani almıştı olm nero bunu? cevap basit arkadaşlar. Sıradaki oyun, Vergil'ın uyanışını konu alan oyun. Sıradaki oyunumuz ise raft. Vergil o dayakdan sonra gariptirki sikim sonik bir yatta uyanıyor ve napacağını bilmeden çalışmalara başlıyor. oyunu biliyonuz zaten. Koca okyanus, götten bir gemimsi yarrak, ve. şey. alet. Vergil tabii bu aleti kullanamıyor, yıllarca deniyor deniyor hayatta kalmayı. Vergil zaman gelene kadar enes baturun villa kadar gemi yapmış, gemisine son model lambo motoru takmıştı, artık hazırdı. Bunu kullanarak ışık hızına varıyor ve mistik şekilde boyutsal yolculuğa çıkıyor ve oyun bitiyor. Sıradaki oyun Garry's mod. Vergil evine gitceğine yanlışlıkla gmod a giriyor ve oyuncu ile mistik bir dövüş yapıyor. Bu arada, çıkan gmod korku videoları vergil sayesindedir. Oyuncuları öyle bi korkutmuşlardırki insanlar hıncını çıkarabilmek için korkunçlu videolar üretip YTye atmaya başlamıştır. Ve oyuncuyu yenip dildo makinesini çaldıkdan sonra ilahi güce ulaşan vergil, 3 dilek hakkı olan bir cini spawnlıyor. "Vergil. 3 dilek hakkın var. Benden ne dileyeceksin?" "Lays Cips. Zahmet olmassa bir tane pepsi, ve neronun yanına ışınla beni." Cin hemen lays cipsini veriyor, Pepsisini veriyor, ve vergil bunları LIKE A REAL BOSS gibi yerken neronun yanına ışınlanıyor. Baktı nero giga chad kaslı falan, hemen bi kürt buluyor ve ona 2 cips veriyor (bahşiş). Bununla beraber bu kürte yamatoyu çaldırıyor ve vergil portalını açarak kayboluyor. Sıradaki oyunuma geçiyoruz şimdi arkadaşlar, hepinizin bayıla bayıla oynadığı o oyun; Ultrakill. Desem inanır mısınız bilmiyorum ama vergilı kaybeden dante çok sinirlendi ve FPS oyunu olmaya karar vererek ultrakill oldu! Devamını biliyorsunuz zaten... Önüne çıkanı düşünmeden vuruyor, klasik dante. Sıradaki oyunumuz ise DMC5, Danteye zenci adam yine bir iş vermesiyle beraber arkhamın planlarını çalan vergilın futa dünyasından neronun kolu bayramlık hediyesi misali çalması ile başlıyor oyunumuz. O kadar olaydan sonra ise vergil ve dante karşılaşıyor, vergil artık isal olmadığından dantenin bu sefer amına koymaya hazır, ama terrariada arkadaşı beklediğinden dolayı danteyi 2 tokatlayıp gitmesi gerekiyordu. Dantenin haberi yok, götlü ayak aga. Ve vergil oradan kaçıyor, son savaş falan filan aga son oyunda DMC5 işte oyna öğren amına koyayım ben mi anlatam her şeyi bro? ya bu dmc serisinde bir oyun daha vardıda tam hatırlamıyorum, sanırım hayal ürünüm gerçek olmayabilir. Neyse bu arada metal gear rising var. Raiden'ı tanıdın iyi güzel, şimdide oyna. DMC ile alakası pek yok ama capcom ek seri olarak sunmuş. Oyna knk.

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