Girlfriends tube

r/teenagers

2010.02.27 05:23 Meades_Loves_Memes r/teenagers

teenagers is the biggest community forum run by teenagers for teenagers. Our subreddit is primarily for discussions and memes that an average teenager would enjoy to discuss about. We do not have any age-restriction in place but do keep in mind this is targeted for users between the ages of 13 to 19. Parents, teachers, and the like are welcomed to participate and ask any questions!
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2012.06.17 21:34 arup02 jukmifgguggh

jugkfmghgug
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2013.06.08 22:14 flignir Am I the Asshole?

A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /AITAFiltered!
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2024.05.14 05:11 Jazzlike_Cook4603 Width if I ask my grandparents to take off the parental controls on my phone.

I'm a 16-year-old girl. I live in my grandparents. So I have a lot of parental controls on my phone. I'm going to make a list because it's easier for me. All of my contacts have to be approved by them. They can read my text messages. On their phone and if I delete a text message it instantly gets sent to them. My location has to be on And after a certain amount of time, they get a notification saying I'm not wear am supposed to be. All apps have to be approved of. (The only reason I got readit was because I just told my grandmother that I was gonna be looking at memes). I cannot make phone call without them getting approved. All social media have to be privated. I only have Snapchat and YouTube. I cannot Google anything. I also can't delete any pictures. And any pictures I delete instantly goes to them.
I want to talk to my grandparents about taking them off. Because I'm almost an adult and I think I'm responsible enough. If you're wondering what I did, that was so bad I had a 28 year old girlfriend when I was 14. And that was 2 years ago I think I'm more responsible.
submitted by Jazzlike_Cook4603 to AITAH [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 04:16 Financial_Chemist286 New born positive for DS in NICU

Baby boy was born at 36 weeks gestation a few days ago. He is in the NICU due to having a pleural effusion that seems to be clearing. He also has pulmonary hypertension but they hope no surgery is needed right now. He is stable and doing well in the NICU. He doesn’t suckle or eat on his own because he is learning to swallow and breathe. Things we take for granted. I feel bad for my wife because she was looking forward to experience being a woman and breast feeding him.
They no longer have him intubated just on oxygen with the canula at 2 liters so we are making progress. Blood work came back positive for trisomy21. Asked Doctor about a microarray but she said he doesn’t need one?that he as tri21? I thought there were 3 types from what I am learning online.
Can’t say my wife and aren’t a little scared and confused. I did sign up today for down syndrome network news letter. I guess I just don’t know where to start since we are embarking on this journey.
I hope to give him the best life I can. I know early intervention is important but what exactly does that entail? What therapies should I be looking for to begin with? What recommendations or resources?
My wife is grieving and so am I a little because he is our first and I guess we had so many ideas of our marriage having a little one that would be our legacy in terms of growing up and growing older, college, girlfriends, maybe marriage and children for him but now I see he may never experience some of those things and we should be counting our blessings.
I have so many thoughts in my mind like what kind of life will he have and be able to live? Will he live a long quality life? Will he have independence? I get worried about who will take care of him when we die as I am 38m and wife is 36f. Then I read that I can expect his life expectancy to be maybe 50-60’s years of age and that some DS people live till 70’s maybe.
I know I should just enjoy the moment now of him being a baby but seeing the videos on you tube and realizing how much time and effort he will need to thrive scares me because he just won’t have a typical childhood. But I will do my best to be strong and be there for him and I want to give him the best start and base possible to thrive.
I see there was an institute for people’s potential and also know I will need to sign up for all the therapies I can. I know also I need him to have great nutrition and healthy lifestyle so he can carry himself with it for as long as he can because after my wife and I are gone he will really have no one else besides maybe a few nephews and nieces. Do I need to set up a trust or anything like that now or accounts to grow so he will have something in the future to use?
Thank you for reading my grief and cries here. I appreciate your experience and expertise on what I can do to give my newborn baby boy the best quality of life he can have.
submitted by Financial_Chemist286 to downsyndrome [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 23:32 -Vertex- MacOS resolution’s

My girlfriend just got a MacBook M3 and a 4K monitor.
For example, the 4K monitor defaults to 1920x1080. Does that mean that everything is capped at 1080p or is that just for scaling of the UI?
The same goes for MacBook M3, it defaults to a much lower resolution than the actual resolution of the screen.
Just wanted to make sure I’m not misunderstanding. If I put it into 4K the text and icons are so small they’re unusable but the concern is that by leaving that the default of 1080 the screen is capped at outputting a low ish resolution even when watching a 4K YouTube video for example.
Any clarification would be great, thank you
submitted by -Vertex- to MacOS [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 22:45 lmaoitsashley New to Pittsburgh, hoping to find a group of girlfriends

Hi everyone! :) basically the title. I’m 22F, and I just graduated cosmetology school and I’m licensed in WV, currently getting licensed in PA. I recently moved in with my boyfriend and we’re living like 20 ish minutes away from the city.
He’s been at his job for about a year now, and he doesn’t have a ton of general friends in the area- but often goes out with work friends/acquaintances for drinks and things like that. Since I’m new to the area, and I’m not yet working, I’m having a bit of a harder time finding groups of girls my age to befriend that aren’t already kind of established in their own friend groups, if that makes sense.
I do struggle with anxiety so that can make things difficult as well, but I’m super open to making new girlfriends!! I’ve never had a solid group of girlfriends I could do like wine nights with, paint & sips, even just binge watching tv shows (I love the bachelobachelorette when it’s time) or going out to bars/shopping/etc. I love to watch all sorts of shows, YouTube, love to paint, craft, true crime, cats- and my main thing is nails as far as being a cosmetologist goes! ☺️
Anyways, I’m just hoping to find some like minded girlies to befriend or at least get to know! Please comment or let me know where you guys go to make friends? 🥲 Making friends in your 20’s is hard lol.
submitted by lmaoitsashley to PittsburghSocialClub [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 22:29 Berserk2024 I took my reworked definitely not over powered OC and added the weaknesses cause I forgot to add them in the last Post.

Reason why he has wolf characteristics is cause wolves are my favorite animal.
Name Matthew Hammond age 15
Quirk: Power control
Has the ability to control a type of energy only he has.
Ways to use this energy is standard strength and speed by but the power into your muscle fibers and organs to enhance their performance. Matthew can also materialize this power in different ways he traniednto find out how he can do this, for example shock waves or energy tenticals.
The main weakness is energy drain. I know what y'all probably thinking, "this is like every quirks weakness cause I swing your quirk can tire you out", but his quirks energy drain. When he use his quirk, the energy run down and if uses a all out attack he loses the energy and cant use his quirk. But on the good side , this energy grows back over time , and since it's his quirk energy if he goes to where he let out a huge attack, he can absorbed it back. It takes like an hour to get his power back to 100% naturally if he just goes on with his day.
Mutation: * Wolf Ears and Tail: Matthew has permanent wolf-like ears and a tail as a result of his mutation.* Laser Eyes: Matthew can emit powerful laser beams from his eyes. This mutation was a rare coincident.
Also he can share his energy with others to enhance their quirks cause energy works like that I think.
Elemental Forms and Powers:
  1. Lightning Form (Name: Volt)
Weakness: If used too much then it will damage his nervous system temporarily.
  1. Fire Form (Name: Blaze):
Weakness: if you use too much then we'll gain first degree burns.
  1. Water Form (Name: Aquos):
Weakness: No clear weakness.
  1. Ice Form (Name: Frost):
Weakness: if in a heated area, then he will get weak and slower.
  1. Light Form (Name: Radiance):
Weakness: overused will make him temporarily blind
  1. Darkness Form (Name: Shadow):
Weakness: Obviously light. Even a flashlight.
  1. Plant Form (Name: Flora):
  1. Metal Form (Name: Alloy):
Weakness: Overtime he'll get weaker cause of rust. Water
  1. Earth Form (Name: Terra):
No clear weakness.
How this works is his power works like a computer l well more like just a normal computer, then a virus AKA and elements infects this power and then it slowly corrupts his powers AKA but there until his body is able to use a different elements,the form is only as strong as his original form because the element can only corrupt what is there,not make more power. A little bit of this energy is still there so that it can take back control. Each form has a mind of its own like some dark shadow type thing. The reason why his forms have minds of their own is cause if I gave him full control his forms he would swap to frequently and that would be two strong.
The reason why he can do this is when he was 3 is quirk was developing and he was exposed to radiation messing with his quirk genes and when his quirk developed it added this.
Hero Costume:
He also has tubes that are like water bottle size on this belt that he charges with his energy every night before he goes to bed in case he runs out of energy himself.
Maximum Output Move: Master Elemental
Carrys amounted cannons inspired by Titan speaker man. They harness his power into either energy balls or just flat out lasers.
To make my self clear his max form when he uses all his elements he can only use 1/10 of his forms power including him as the main guy of this whole body.
PERSONALITY
He's smart nice in a way sometimes a prankster if you try to roast him you will go complete PackGod on you, if he's in a bad mood don't try to comfort him you'll just make things worse and not for him for you, he's really cocky, but not bakugo cocky hes just a bit over confident. He is very creative. He loves tech to the point if you break a 30 buck phone around him, let's just say you gonna want to do a crime in front of batman before Matthew finds you.
Favorite food: Red Beans and rice
6ft 2
Hates obsesseve people.
There's some girl who likes him so much she stalks him threatens his girlfriend tried to kiss him by force kidnapped him. She did this to point he couldn't take it any more so he moved to Japan but she still found him.
Any way I hope y'all like my reworked oc
submitted by Berserk2024 to BNHA_OC_Characters [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 22:02 avpd_squirrel Why it's a red flag to be FA

I never really understood why it's such an issue if I never had girlfriend before. Apart from that I am fully functioning and financially independent adult.
However, few weeks ago, I was walking down the street and a couple was walking towards me, holding hands. They seemed so normal doing that, so natural. They probably do it everyday.
I tried to imagine myself walking alongside my hypothetical girlfriend, holding hands. I think I would be losing my mind doing that. My heart would be racing and I would probably feel like I am on drugs. No way I could act natural doing that. It would be a highlight of the year. A decade even.
Another example. I spend my time working from home alone and the rest of the day I either exercise or cook or scroll on my phone. Alone almost all the time.
What would I do if I suddenly got a gf and she moved in with me? What would I do if there was actual girl sitting next to me at on the sofa?
I am pretty sure I would be excited and I wouldn't take my eyes off her. I would be dying to talk to her all the time. I would be spoiling her with attention and nice gestures. I would constantly try to impress her and keep her interested.
I know it's probably wrong because then she would think I am a simp and she would lose interest, she wouldn't see me as equal partner. But I know myself too well, I know I would still do it. It's not like I have anything else to do.
I just doomscroll FA and similar subs and watch motivational YouTube videos but I only watch those because I want to get a girlfriend.
So I would place all my attention on her. I would be clingy and annoying. But how to avoid that?
I guess this is the real reason why girls avoid dating FAs. Relationship and being around girl all the time would be new to us. We would be excited like a little child. But to normal girl our age, it must seem immature since she probably been dating for 15 years (I am almost 30) and living with partner is like second nature to her.
Damn I didn't even talked with a girl my age for years. I have no idea what they talk about it.
submitted by avpd_squirrel to ForeverAlone [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 21:16 Flagg1991 Children of the Night (Part 1)

What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.
submitted by Flagg1991 to MrCreepyPasta [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 21:13 Flagg1991 Children of the Night (Part 1)

What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.
submitted by Flagg1991 to mrcreeps [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 21:12 Flagg1991 Children of the Night (Part 1)

What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.
submitted by Flagg1991 to LighthouseHorror [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 21:05 LanguageSlow2478 Survived a what should've been fatal car accident about a year ago an no one can ever understand how hard it was for me

So on 02/02/2023 I was involved in a car accident. I was the front passenger (21), my younger brother (19) was behind the driver (21) and the driver was a friend that I'd been to school with and good friends with for a few years. It was a swooping corner where the speed limit for the road was 50mph. I don't remember the accident because of the extent of my injuries, which I'll talk about further on, but my brother seems to remember it like it was yesterday. I'm not going to get into all the nits and grits because I'm not here to talk about that. From my brothers recollection she was going 60/65mph. Now this corner is a corner that most people take going about 35-40mph fastest so when it was hit with this speed, she lost control. The car flipped twice and caused driver and bro to pass out for a second. Now me, me on the other hand, I got fucked up. So, unconscious and the fire brigade had to cut me out. Ambulance got to me after that and I had a seizure in the ambulance. This is all on a corner 5 minutes away from my home, maybe not even that so my mum had quickly attended. The ambulance had to give me 4 pints of plasma and 4 pints of platelets on scene so, damn I've lost more than half of my blood on scene so yeah oof ok. I was unconscious the whole time, sent to the Trauma ER, thank god, and well that's where it begins in a way.
I'm sorry to bombard you guys with this as my first post, I've got accounts I just didn't want to put time into logging in. So, injuries I'll list em head to toe:- Major head trauma: Skull fracture, Right side perforated ear drum, Fractured spine (C6), Broken clavicle, Broken elbow, Broken ribs x2 (4L, 6R, I believe), Nerve damage of the entirety of my left side: Nerve damage to the eye caused double vision as the nerves in the eye couldn't move the eye as well, Due to the perforated ear drum I now require a hearing aid because it's damaged and doesn't work as well. I was in a coma for 5-7 days (can't remember how long),The major head trauma caused me to forget a good chunk of the year before and the memory loss got more sparse the further it went back so I remembered childhood shit but not much of 2022, Kind of most of 2021, then it drains off and None of 2023. I got a good amount of 2022 and 2023 given back to me through other people telling me memories. My family were all in the hospital within an hour, they were told by the doctors that they didn't know if I would survive but if I did that there was a high chance of me having a disability of some sort or not remember them. Even in ICU when I started to twitch and move the way my family's used to seeing me move, they'd always be like 'It might just be her reflexes' n shit like that.
This is where it gets deep. That's the first thing I had to learn to deal with, I had short term memory loss from the brain injury so I had to rely on the memory of others. Before the crash I was smoking weed, didn't have a reliable job that I wanted yet and I was free. I'd broken up with my first girlfriend of 4 years and I spent the whole of January finding girls to shag (I slept with 3 from after Christmas till the crash) and I had no commitments. Nada. I remember feeling fucked with not knowing what to do but feeling great about the fact I was free. It had it's ups and downs. After the crash I was in hospital till mid march, I got my neck brace off in Jul/Aug, I got a girlfriend in August (one of the ones from January that I'd been chatting to in hospital and shagged in my neck brace) and then come round to September I manage to have the energy for a few shifts at the pub. Then, since January, I've been working full time, 5 days a week at a Primary school. One thing that no one can understand is what it feels like to come from being that weak, so weak that anyone around you doesn't want you to carry anything to in the gym better than before. I look fine now. Believe it or not the only visible injuries that say I nearly died are my hearing aid, my neck scar from my hospital tube and a wonky broken finger (but that happened in hospital because the nurses weren't watching me when they were told 24/7 watching so it's fucked). I look fine but I'm not fine. I think part of what I'm sick of is people seeing that I've healed physically so they assume I'm fine and better than before but no, I'm worse. I feel worse than I did when I was fucked up, neck brace on 24/7, Oramorph at night as well as literally 12 other pills. 12 pills 3 times a day. No one will ever know what it was like to have to take all of that. They all had a purpose, every single one 3 times a day had a FUCKING PURPOSE. I'm only taking 4 a day now but that's because I've been diagnosed with ADHD and I'm taking meds for that. Only ones from hospital I'm still taking is Propanalol but I'm due for a review. All of these appointments. CT scan, MRI scan, finger check up, clean neck brace, get your hearing tested, do a teaching assistant course, learn to be a SEND teaching assistant on the job, check up for your health condition, confirm with the doctor you can drive. ALL THIS SHIT BECAUSE MY FRIEND OFFERED TO DRIVE AND I SAID YES, WHEN I WAS GOING TO DRIVE.
Moral of this is, if literally anyone has had anything similar or something they thing they should say about their experience that might help me with all of this. I'm not gonna read back through to check for grammar errors or make the story come across perfectly. At the moment it just feels like the only thing that's stopping me top myself is knowing I've got money coming my way. It's hard though because how far can someone be pushed until money isn't worth living for.
submitted by LanguageSlow2478 to CarAccidentSurvivors [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 20:19 ikieneng My fanfiction - Episode 2

My fanfiction - Episode 2
The next part is here! This episode is actually so long that I'm going to split it, so today, you're only getting part 1 of 3.
DISCLAIMERS (the same ones as before)
The point of this fanfiction is not to be a straight-up continuation of events with the same themes, intensity, and tone. If you go into it with those expectations, you are probably not going to like it. Rather, it’s supposed to be how I wish things went if these events were real life. The resolution you want for a real-life situation isn’t often the right choice for a show, but it can be incredibly beautiful. Think of what you’re about to read to be a separate show then.
Episode 1 of this fanfiction begins after the episode “2:00” (season 2 episode 4), so it replaces the episode “Cake” and the ones that follow it. This fanfiction expects you to have seen the entirety of seasons 1 and 2, so you should watch those first.
I myself bursting into the story here. The narrator and me are the same. While my character is like 95% real me, don’t take events about my life described here as facts. Some aspects of my life have been changed for the story. In my head, I started writing like an “alternate me” character in 2016, fulfilling a lot of the things that I wish I had in life, adding that to my story. I’m not really from Ukraine. I speak fluent Ukrainian as a foreign language, I started learning it in 2014, and I’ve talked to tons of people from there, but I’m not from Ukraine. I also don’t have as much money as I do in the story. I wish lmao.
If you want to post your own fanfiction, feel free to do so! To get your own post flair for your fanfic, and to appear in the side bar, please message me.
SEASON 2 EPISODE 6 - “ATTIC”
Part 1 (day 1)
So I'd be scheduled to work with Sean in the kitchen again, maybe a few days later, and Leanne would be "allowed" out of the attic again and have some time in the kitchen with me, like with Tobe in the real show (which Dorothy only started to allow because her strategy of pure torture and isolation wasn't working...). Julian would be there to watch us while Dorothy is at work (it would be around 10-11 AM) and Sean is shopping for new parts for the dishwasher.
https://preview.redd.it/0c1nl07xi80d1.png?width=780&format=png&auto=webp&s=e80511c2313074880382dd5b1773a6a046c0c90b
This time, we’d be told to cook something for Sean, following his recipe, maybe filling squid with a mix of mashed vegetables and spices.
This time, we’d be told to cook something for Sean, following his recipe, maybe filling squid with a mix of mashed vegetables and spices.
With Julian there, we’d be pretty limited in the things we can talk about, but the air would be noticeably lighter because of my gift for Leanne that neither of us can talk about yet, and you could tell on her face and especially in her eyes how much that has touched her. I’d imagine we’d talk about the stuff either of us likes to cook. She’d tell me that she doesn’t actually cook that much on her own. I’d be surprised and ask what she likes to eat, and she’d open one of the drawers and show me the cans upon cans of tomato soup and tell me she likes to just warm up a can every day and add some side dish on the plate, like toast, and something to drink, usually just water. She’d be a bit embarrassed about it because her experience is that people think that’s weird, but I’d tell her that I think that’s cute, and she could tell on my face that I mean it. I’d tell her how I eat obscene amounts of Ben & Jerry’s, even more so in the summer, and how her eating so much tomato soup reminds me of that, and I’d tell her how I drink sooo much Cola Zero that I’ve built up a lot of resistance to caffeine. “I can drink a whole two liter bottle, take my meds, and then go to bed just like that” (Side note: Coca Cola’s US website actually lists a two liter bottle among their sizes. Is that correct?) She’d be amazed and almost not believe me, but I’d show her my almost empty two-liter bottle in my backpack, with a little bit of condensed water from my fridge still on the outside, and she’d look at me with big eyes, bewildered and amazed, and we’d both chuckle before Julian tells us to stop. Quite confused, I’d ask why, like, what’s wrong with us laughing, and he’d tell us something like me not being there to have fun. I’d ask “Mister… What’s your surname?” - “Pearce” - “Do you have employees, Mister Pearce?” - “My father does, and I wouldn’t hire you anyway.” - “Oh, good, I wasn’t going to apply for a job with you in the first place. I can’t say I’m surprised that nobody wants to work for you.”
Leanne would be proud that I’m sticking it like that to Julian, and before he even has a chance to reply, she’d ask him “Could you please get us some wheat flour from the basement?” - “You want me to get you a fucking bottle, too?” - “Two would be nice.” - (Julian rolls his eyes) “I think I’d get two for myself, so I don’t lose it with you both!”, and he goes into the basement. As soon as Leanne can hear the door shut, she would suddenly tell me to fill up a bag she takes out from under the sink with ALL of the water bottles in the kitchen and a lot of the food in there that can be eaten as is and doesn't require cooking, and she’d tell me to do the same with my backpack, quietly go up to the attic, and hide there, so I can’t be seen if Julian comes upstairs, anticipating that she will be left alone in there again for days without food. I'd be confused at first, but she'd frantically beg me to do it immediately, and I'd trust her, I’d nod and say “okay” and do it. Julian would come back, and she'd pretend that I left. Julian would command her around again to finish up in the kitchen, and soon after, he'd lock her in the attic again, not knowing that I'm there.
I'd be shocked and really confused and concerned after realizing he just locked us in, and in that moment, she'd come to me, begging me on her knees to get her out of there, crying. At first, I’d just look around in shock with my jaw dropped, but then, I'd just hug her and just comfort her and let her know I'll do it. I'd feel so sorry for her... I wouldn’t know yet how long she’s been locked up for and why, but that wouldn’t matter for me to decide to help her. Really confused, I’d ask her to tell me what’s going on and why she’s locked up there. I’d be so shocked.
Once she’s calmed down enough after begging me to help her in full desperation, we’d sit down on the mattress. She’d tell me the full story - from the moment she first arrived at the Turners' in season 1 to now, including Dorothy’s brutal acts of violence and the pranks Julian and Sean played on her in season 1 to drive her out of the house, but she'd only mention the Church of Lesser Saints in passing as that's another really painful and complex topic she doesn't want to get into, and she wouldn't tell me about reanimating the doll yet because she knows how unbelievable the truth sounds (she tries not to let anyone know about her powers anyway). She'd stop several times while telling me all that because it's so hurtful, and I'd just comfort her and hug her . She’d cry out that it’s her fault and that she never should have come back. I’d just tell her that none of this is her fault and that she didn’t “come back” because she was taken against her will. “You can’t blame yourself for any of that. It’s not like they gave you a choice. It’s not your fault.” I’d tell her that she deserves none of the things they’ve done to her, I’d be absolutely horrified by them. She’d tell me about Sean’s visits to her, how he stopped coming upstairs after she was buried alive,
https://preview.redd.it/nfcpodj7j80d1.png?width=780&format=png&auto=webp&s=51f4fc8c9cf9bbc64ed04133019220890cb18b05
and how he told her stories about Dorothy to try and make her (Leanne) feel sorry for her (Dorothy), so she can tell him where Jericho is. “I told him that Jericho died, and he just said nothing and stood up and got out after a while. He knows that there’s nothing I can do…” While she cries on my shoulder, I’d just comfort her, rubbing her back, and just express my absolute shock at the things she’s telling me and just try to make her feel at least a little bit better. I’d be like “Those are the worst things I’ve ever heard… He actually defends her? Like, he got you out of a hole in the ground and still told you that she’s ‘ not a bad person ’?” Leanne would nod. “Oh my God, what a piece of shit… What an absolute piece of shit… I’m so sorry you’re going through that… She’s trying to kill you, she’s starving you, she forces you to use the bucket, and… Oh my God, I’m so sorry…”
I’d just let her cry for a little while as I’m comforting her. I’d cry myself, just so shocked and horrified and scared. Unsure if that’s what she wants to do, she’d ask me if I’m going to call the police. I’d ask her how long she thinks we’ll be in here, and she’d say she doesn’t know. “Do you think someone will come up here before tonight?”, and she’d shake her head. “Mr. and Mrs. Turner don’t come up during the day anymore”. I’d suggest we wait until everyone’s asleep tonight and then try to find a way out. She’d say that she’s already tried everything, and I’d be like “Of course, but now, we got a lot more options because you’re not alone up here anyway. Like, okay, that’s gonna sound really hard, and it probably is, but I can try to step up on your shoulders and reach the skylight, stuff like that. If we can sneak out without them knowing, that’s probably a lot safer for you than calling the police while we’re unarmed and the Turners are not. And the last thing you need right now is another traumatic situation”. She’d look up at me, surprised that I’m even considering her well-being like this. “And if we don’t manage to get out tonight, we can still come up with a plan. What do you say?” And she’d smile and nod. I’d smile back and rub her back and say “Heeey, it’s gonna be alright. I’m getting you out of here! Until tonight, let’s just make the best of it!”, and she’d smile really hard at that, which would really touch me, seeing her smile like that because she has hope now, and she’d almost cry.
“So how did you like the cake?”, I’d randomly ask her. She’d look me directly in the eyes and tell me how delicious it was, full of joy, and show me the porcelain baby and say that she wants to keep it. I’d be like “I told you you’re special!” with a big smile and embrace her over the shoulders as she’s smiling back. She’d go “Thank you so much, Daria!”, and I’d be like “Of course!”
I’d then go “Hey, let’s eat some of this stuff! You must be starving!”, and we’d divide the food and water we got upstairs, dividing it into rations for three days (just to be sure…), making her ration for today a bit bigger because she hasn’t eaten in days. Because calling the police would create a dangerous situation for us (and it’s not like there are any lengths the Turners wouldn’t go to), we’d keep that as a last resort if we run out of food, “but let’s see what we can do tonight”. Among the food in my backpack would be every single can of tomato soup from the kitchen and a can opener 😊 Even though it’s cold, the soup would be like heaven to her! And I’d be like “Mmm! Hey, honestly, this is way better than I expected!” - “You like it?” - “Yeah! I thought it might be a bit dull, but there’s, like, what’s in here? I think there’s some celery, definitely some salt, and there are some chunkier bits, like, yeah, this is pretty good!” This is her comfort and favorite food, and because it’s such a rare choice, I don’t think anyone has ever told her that they like it (even the way Dorothy said “You do love that soup, don’t you?” in season 1 kinda communicated that she found it odd or weird),
https://preview.redd.it/m0qd3ffbj80d1.png?width=780&format=png&auto=webp&s=3ca1365daff79f8b126460f21423e516ee5e9dd7
and she’d love hearing that! I’d ask her if she’s ever had Ben & Jerry’s, and she’d say she hasn’t. “I’m gonna give you some when we’re out of here, you’re gonna love it! My favorite flavor is Cookie Dough S’Wich Up, it’s like vanilla ice cream mixed with cookie dough, Oreo pieces, and brownie pieces, and also some chocolatey stuff mixed in with the vanilla in some spots!”, and that would sound great to her, she’d look forward to it. And I’d give her the rest of my Cola Zero. She’s probably had some before, but right now, she’d enjoy every bit of it.
I’d take out my two phones at some point (I actually do have two - an iPhone 15 Pro Max and a Samsung Galaxy S5 Mini lmao, but there was no 15 Pro Max at this time, so I’d have an iPhone 13 Pro Max here) and give her the Samsung because, like, we don’t really know for sure if anyone will come upstairs before tonight. I’d add my own number as a contact as well and add her as a contact on my iPhone under the number of the Samsung phone, so this way, she can call the police herself if the Turners find me upstairs with her, and the police can find out where I am if anything happens to me, and vice-versa.
After we’re done eating, knowing that we’re left with like ten to eleven hours until we can try to get out, we’d just sit there on the mattress saying nothing for a few seconds. Breaking the silence, I’d look around a bit and ask “Did the attic look the way it did when you… you know, or did you decorate it like this?”
https://preview.redd.it/x38rzmzdj80d1.png?width=780&format=png&auto=webp&s=18f45af349fce7f3783887e7e2eb3a27c7c27ced
She’d say she did. “It’s beautiful, especially with the lights and stuff! You’ve got a good eye!”, and she’d smile a bit in embarrassment. I’d be like “Hey, I mean it! No need to be embarrassed!” and then say “Have you heard about, like, I don’t know what to call it, but some department stores have LED chains that you can stick to surfaces and control the color of with a remote. Most of them can even fade back and forth between colors. When we’re out of here, if you want, I can show you some. If you already like these lights, you’re gonna love them!”, and she’d smile and say that that sounds great! I’d show her some on my phone, and we’d imagine putting them up around us and talk about our ideas that we couldn’t realize because we obviously just wanna get out of there, and we’d talk about where we’re gonna go once we are. I’d suggest my place, a small rental house like twelve minutes by bike from there that’s technically in East Lansdowne, where we can stay at least for a little while, and she’d say she’d love to, but to please take her somewhere safe where the Turners can’t find her, somewhere far away, certainly not this close to them. I’d suggest going to a hotel, and that would sound great to her. We’ll probably have to go to my place first just to get my stuff, but yeah, we can go to a hotel from there. I’d again just reassure her that it’s gonna be alright.
She’d bring up that I told her I’ve spent an exchange year in California, and I’d say that yes, I’ve spent a year in San Diego and add “Still the best year of my life.” She’d ask why, and in her own words, she’d say that we talked so much about HER life, and she wants to know some more about me. I’d tell her I wasn’t the first one in my family to do a student exchange year. My sister went to Denmark from 2008 to 2009. “You got a sister?”, Leanne would ask, and I’d tell her I got two and ask about her family, and she’d tell me she’s an only child. I’d tell her my sisters moved out, or rather, they were forced out, in 2007 (I think) and 2012, so I was alone with my parents for several years, which felt a lot longer. “Time already flies by at twenty-three now”. And anyway, at the time, I thought my mother, who did most of the “parenting”, wanted to make me happy by letting me go abroad for a year, but in retrospect, it’s pretty obvious that she just wanted to be rid of me for a year, the same as when my sister went to Denmark. In retrospect, I remember how many arguments she and my sister had after she came back, which was partly because she definitely enjoyed being rid of her for a year, and then, she had to “deal” with her again. Leanne and me would just lock eyes, and I’d say “We both got terrible moms” and chuckle because of it while still having sad expressions on our faces.
I’d say “Anyway, my first choice were the US, and I got placed with a family in San Diego, California, or [sãn ˈd̪je.ɣ̞o] in Spanish”. Surprised, she’d ask “You speak Spanish, too??”, and I’d be like “Yeah, but not back then”, and in awe, she’d ask how many languages I speak. I’d answer her in each language before saying what language I was just speaking in - fluent Ukrainian, English, and R*ssian, rather good Spanish, some French and Dutch, and I’ve forgotten most of the Finnish and Azeri that I used to know, and I’d show her on Google Maps where that’s even spoken. She’d be really impressed ahaha, and a bit embarrassed about herself. I’d be like “Hey, it’s okay, you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone. Life’s not a competition”, and that would be a really important lesson in life for her, certainly very different from how she’s been taught to think before, especially by her mother and by the Turners. She seems pretty smart anyway, and when I tell her that, she’d be really surprised and flat-out say no, and I’d be like “You’re super resourceful in the kitchen, like, you can come up with solutions to problems pretty quickly, you’re great at remembering details, and you already know that you got lots of special skills! I’d say you’re pretty smart!”, and she’d smile again before making a sadder face and telling me that she never went to school because the Church never let her. I’d be like “That’s… That’s horrible. If you want, there are YouTube channels out there that maybe you can use to learn about all the stuff you missed out on”, and she’d nod a little with a bit of a smile. “Doesn’t say anything about your intelligence anyway. Credentials are only credentials, and school is pretty terrible at telling you how smart you are.”
Back on talking about California, I’d tell her about my year there from August 2014 to August 2015. While there, I didn’t even realize how free I was all of a sudden because I was away from my parents for the first long time in my life. I changed a lot in that year because I didn’t have them look over my shoulder and judge my every move anymore. My mother even took me by the hand outside up until I left for America, and suddenly, I could socialize with whomever I wanted, I could stay outside of the home after school, like, AT ALL, the family I was with, they actually cared, like, I could talk to them, I could just ask when I needed stuff, and they didn’t force their restrictive values and stuff on me, I could just be me, y’know? I’d tell her that my time in California was also the first time I had a girlfriend (a little hint there ahaha), which my parents would have gone ballistic over if they found out. Leanne would ask if her and me still speak, and I’d be like “No, not in a very long time”, and she’d ask about the family I stayed with in San Diego, if we’re still speaking, and I’d be like “Oh yeah, we do. They know about where I live now, about a lot of the things that’s happened in my life since 2015, and yeah. We actually talked just a few days ago.”
“If it’s not too personal”, I’d ask, “do you still talk to your parents?”, and she’d shake her head and say she doesn’t, and that she doesn’t wanna talk about that, maybe another day, and I’d be like “Okay” and respect that.
Back on talking about California, I’d say “ignorance is bliss”, so to come back from America a year later (we already moved to Kyiv City before I left for America), where nothing had changed, with how much I had changed in that year without realizing it, my home life became horrible as a result. I suddenly realized that my parents having loud arguments several times a week is NOT normal, and I began to realize that my mother probably never cared so much about me and my autism diagnosis (which I got in 2006) because she loved me, but because she used it to cash in benefits for it all these years. I have no idea how much she received, but one time, I saw the bank statements of my parents’ shared account, and there were the equivalent of like $8000-$9000 in there, while I only received the equivalent of like $30 per month as an allowance. For years, a health inspector would come by once a year to check up on me (mostly by just talking to my mother) for continuing the granting of the money she exploited me for, and for years, she'd taught me to act like - literally - the most mentally disabled person ever during those check-ups, either ignoring the inspector completely and acting like they're not there at all, or cowering up in a corner and pretending I'm terrified. This way, she cashed in the money that's granted for the care of people whose level of disability is comparable to that of late-stage dementia patients… While the government was already struggling financially! Living in a normal environment for a year really changed me, and I didn't notice it until I came back, when I finally stopped playing along, which would make everything worse for how I was treated, and just one month later was when my parents broke up and decided they wanted a divorce, which made my world crumble even more than it already had.
If I didn’t have feelings for her, I’d probably just call the police, but because I do like her in that way already, I’d just go the extra mile and comfort her and ask her if she can tell me what’s going on and stuff, assuring her that I’ll get her out of there.
If Leanne was a completely different person and I didn't have feelings for her, I'd probably call the police, but when you're slowly starting to fall in love with somebody, you just wanna make sure they're safe and be really careful about this. I haven't gotten to a lot of the stuff in my life yet because it's a long story, but with how Leanne and me both went through parental abuse, parents who worked really hard to make us feel horrible, strict religious abusive upbringings, horrible punishments when we left religion, feeling so left behind in our development because of our upbringings and struggling to succeed in the wider world as a result (it's so hard to actually find someone who understands what that's like. I feel so much comfort and understanding knowing that Leanne can really relate to this!), and falling into the traps of other people who used our lack of experience and agency, we both went through so many similar things in different ways, and I'd think we'd bond soooo much over that, knowing and feeling how much we both understand each other through the similar things we went through, that would bring both of us so much comfort! I think we'd not just be great, but great for each other, not only through our similar experiences, but also through our similar personalities and values, like how we're not fitting in with people. I love her peculiarities so much that people just call weird, like how she eats sooooo much canned tomato soup, how she arranges everything so tidily, like her plates or her food in the kitchen, or how she keeps bugs she tries to reanimate.
https://preview.redd.it/h2t0cxyjj80d1.png?width=780&format=png&auto=webp&s=6df143cc40eeab0fef3b56884a424da685c2d1cf
Something I'd notice so easily at this point in the story already are the ADORABLE ways she reacts to things with her face and verbally! Some examples of what I mean by that are her short pauses before she speaks if she doesn't know how to answer right away,
https://preview.redd.it/u5yj2u9nj80d1.png?width=780&format=png&auto=webp&s=b3fdaaa7db350b8664b4f0391e5ba57621cae47a
how she answers non-verbally sometimes like smiling and nodding instead of saying yes,
https://preview.redd.it/4nkz9lvnj80d1.png?width=780&format=png&auto=webp&s=509294d626b4e85f75a630214fecb5a836f6955f

the way she moves her eyes when something's awkward,
https://preview.redd.it/7pits5koj80d1.png?width=780&format=png&auto=webp&s=45bd06c9198a480c47e61c8f8b3256fc958a7202

that is SO INCREDIBLY CUTE, I adore it so much, it adds so much to her personality! I'd notice that so hard already and absolutely adore it!
And even though we wouldn't know much about each other yet, we'd already notice and really like these things about each other. And up there, when I tell her a little bit about my life like I just have, she'd really feel for me, too and comfort me back, and that is honestly so wonderful to imagine for me ❤️ She'd sit there next to me and listen a lot and look at me, and embrace me a little bit. She wouldn't really know how to do that yet because it's not something that people ever did for me or taught her to do for others until I just came along, but she'd now know how good that feels and do it for me, too, as best as she knows how, and that's the best thing about it!
Late that night, when we think that everyone else is almost certainly asleep, we'd try to find anything we can in the room to get through the door of the attic without being loud enough to wake anyone up (because then, we'd both be screwed), but there would be nothing we could do to get out right then and there without the Turners waking up. If there was, Leanne would have been long gone already. We’re both twigs lol, so we’d step up on each other’s shoulders to try and reach the skylight, but it would be too high. We’d look for long solid objects to try and reach the skylight, but anything we find wouldn’t be enough. I’d double-check the door to the other part of the attic, and it would be locked. Smashing any doors would wake everyone up at night and make them come upstairs during the day. The window is locked, and it’s way too high for a safe fall anyway. So we'd make plans. If, in three days, we're still locked up, we will call the police because we'd have no other choice, but if Sean or someone else comes in by then, Leanne would be ""given"" a few hours out of the attic again, and they would leave the attic unlocked like they did before
https://preview.redd.it/xlgdf3mrj80d1.png?width=780&format=png&auto=webp&s=1b517528b4d494774c463ee320cd0ded84367809
because they'd think no one else is in there, and I would leave all the rations in the attic, sneak out of the attic, and leave through the basement. I'd leave the Samsung phone with her, so that she can reach me after I get out of there and prepare to get HER out of there. The plan would be for me to go home, taker a shower, type up everything I've seen into a PDF file addressed to the police, and send the PDF file to one of my internet friends (I actually have such a hard time making friends, another way in which Leanne and I are so similar and would really get each other). (I’m changing his name for this story for privacy reasons) I'd probably choose my friend Liam for this. I'd tell him that if I'm not back online telling him I'm safe in 24 hours, that he should then open the PDF file and call the Philadelphia police and read it all out to them. If I lived in America, I'd definitely get a gun lol. In Pennsylvania, I'd actually be able to just go buy one, I'd pass the requirements of the instant background checks. I'd get my gun, pack up everything we'd need for the next couple of weeks, and get a taxi to like one block away from the Turners', and with my gun for intimidation (considering that they're holding her hostage, this would probably fall under acting in defense of a third party), lock the Turners in the bathroom, have Leanne come downstairs, and leave with her, get to the taxi, and drive off, out of Philly, and be safe from the Turners for now.
But we'd leave the details for the next day. By this point, I'd need to tell her about some of my medical conditions, like night terrors, which usually fade during one's youth, but for me, they never did, so that she's prepared if they happen and doesn't get too freaked out, and so she knows that they're completely triggerless and can happen to me even after the best of days. I’d tell her that people don’t usually remember their night terrors at all, so she knows that I will act like nothing happened in the morning because I literally won't remember, it's only sometimes that I know that SOMETHING scary happened, but I rarely ever remember the night terrors themselves at all), and also so she knows to make sure I won't hurt myself or her if I have an episode, and also because it's a safety issue in this situation, to make sure that the Turners don't hear me, because if they did, we’d be screwed. And I'd have to tell her about my PTSD (because of the war in Ukraine, I’d tell her I’d lived through the first three days of it), which gives me nightmares, and to please wake me up if she notices I'm having those. We'd share the tiny mattress and covers that are up there, say good night, and fall asleep next to each other! Because I wouldn't have my meds, she'd fall asleep first, and I'd just look at her for a while 😊
submitted by ikieneng to teamleanne [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 13:23 epiix33 Boy B's mother gave an interview about Boy B's life during and after prison as well as about the murder of Junko Furuta.

Link to the Youtube video: 女子高生コンクリート詰め殺人～加害少年のその後～ - YouTube
I will summarize the most relevant information. I did not translate this video. I just summarize the translation I found in English.
02:00 min: People are waiting for Ogura's trial in 2004. He testified that he didn't confine the victim (the man he beat up in 2004) and that he just spoke with him.
03:15 min: According to Ms. Ogura, Ogura apologized for the murder of Junko Furuta to his mother.
03:38 min shows a letter of Ogura to his mother from prison.
04:10 min: The victim talks about the crime. Ogura believed that the victim had flirted with Ogura's girlfriend and threatened him. He punched the victim many times and kicked him in his car's trunk. Then he drove for 40 mins.
04:40 min: According to the victim, Ogura said: 一人殺そうと、二人殺そうと、一緒なんだ！」It sounds like, " I killed a person (Junko Furuta), I can kill one more(the victim), There is no difference!".
The victim was confined by Ogura for 4 hours. He was released by Ogura, then went to a police station. Ogura was arrested two weeks later.
05:10 min: Ogura bragged about the murder of Junko Furuta. He said: おれはすごい (I am sugoi). Sugoi means amazing, incredible, super, great, awesome, etc.
05:20 min: The narrator speaks about the murder of Junko Furuta. The video shows relevant locations (where the concrete drum was found, where Junko was confined, where the boys were sentenced in court).
06:17 min: Ogura testified in court: "How painful Furuta was, how hot she was...I have no ways to apologize to her for the rest of my life. I am going to expiate the crime for my life."
06:50 min: Ms. Ogura: "I can't forget the murder. However, Furuta's family was relocated. I can't contact them.I can't do anything to Furuta's family."
07:40 min: The narrator talks about Boy B's childhood. His father ran away with his girlfriend when he was 3 years old. Ms. Ogura had to work for bars and restaurants at night. She had never had dinner with Ogura since her husband's runaway.
08:15min: The video shows the prison Ogura served his sentence in. Ogura tried to be a good Buddhist.
08:45min Ogura was released from prison on August 3rd, 2003. Ms. Ogura met him at the prison. Ms. Ogura says "He didn't expect me. But he was so excited to go back to the home." Ogura learned information technology skills during his time in prison. He started to work as an IT engineer.Ms.Ogura says "He bought books and studied IT. He woke up very early. He worked very hard."
10:00 min: Ogura's mother said they never talked about the murder of Junko Furuta. But at 11:40 min, she said they couldn't forget about the murder: "My son bought books about the murder. He also watched a movie about the murder." According to Ms. Ogura, Ogura said: "The movie's story is different from what I did to Furuta".
12:20 min: Ogura married a Chinese woman that was two years older than him. They divorced later. Ogura didn't mention the reason for the divorce. Ms. Ogura told him to marry another woman and have a baby, to which he replied: "It is impossible. If I have a baby, the baby will be called "The Kid of the Killer of Junko Furuta".
12:40 min: Ogura quit his job at the IT company due to a hostile work environment. He thought people knew his identity and that it was the reason they harrassed him. According to his lawyer, Ogura was paranoid about getting recognized.
18:50min: Ms. Ogura says: "I want to make my son understand how brutal the Murder of Junko Furuta was. However, I am not sure how to make him understand it. How can I educate him? "
20:43 min: The reporter asked her about Furuta's family. Ms. Ogura says" They want my son to die. I think this is the only feeling that Furuta's family has for my son".
21:20min: The reporter asked Ms. Ogura, "If you can apologize to Furuta's family, how do you apologize to them?".Ms. Ogura says "Gomennasai is the only word to them". Then she cried.
The author of the translation believes Ms. Ogura didn't desecrate Furuta's grave. There is no concrete evidence she did it. However, you are free to believe whatever you want. I don't know what to believe. All I know is that she only talks about her son, not about the victim or her family.
submitted by epiix33 to junkofurutamemorial [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 12:36 Infinite_Stand2477 What do I do in this situation to stop feeling less manly

I recently had a scare with some testicle pain, turns out it’s nothing serious and is just some swelling on a tube. Whilst they’re getting better I’ve been told to wear more supportive underwear like briefs. I’ve always been a tight boxers guy but was told even tho they offer support they don’t quite cup your balls in the way I need for support. So I did buy some and I must admit, the pain goes pretty much as soon as I put them on and they are way more comfy than I imagined (especially under shorts on hot days) however, I can’t help but feeling a little embarrassed for some reason, even maybe a little less masculine? My girlfriend says it doesn’t bother her at all and “it’s just underwear” however I just feel a little humiliated whenever she sees me in them. I seem to be over thinking it big time but I’d just like to know has anyone else had this or am I weird ?
submitted by Infinite_Stand2477 to AskMen [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 11:50 4to20milliamps Anyone else clueless on what to actually do? Lost?

Some background about me.
25 y/o UK Instrumentation & control technician Earn anywhere between £5,000 to £13,000 per month depending upon the contracts I get, so, I'm not exactly poor nor am I rich. But it takes up my time and severely restricts location freedom as I have to move to the jobs whether it be in a different part of the country or out on an oil rig. Girlfriend of 3 years, nice house, nice car blablablabla..
Bit unrelated but since I've always been on self improvement I wake up at 5am and go to the gym and sauna/cold plunge religiously. Sucking my own dick I know but I'm in great shape and feel like my mind is sharp and I'm always motivated. I feel.. READY to make something of myself.
Now I've watched self improvement for YEARS, I'm talking since I was 15. I've binged it all. You can't name a channel on YouTube in the business/entrepreneuself improvement niche I haven't watched. Outside of work that's my mental masturbation life. In the car, in bed, at my computer, even at work.
But even after all this research, even after being able to talk for 8 hours straight about every niche mentioned and after feeling and looking good..
I don't know what to do.
I've tried stuff of course, dropshipping, SMMA, day trading, but I don't know how to put it.. nothing has stuck?
I wouldn't say I've gave those business models my absolute all in terms of effort, maybe I'd be much better off if I did continue those stores I made years ago.
But can anyone help me diagnose this feeling of being lost? Maybe it's because I've watched too many different content on all the vehicles to success? Maybe something shouldn't have to 'stick' and I should shut up and pick one and give it my all?
I'm just an absolute mega wantrepreneur and other than 'take action', does anyone have any wisdom for me?
I'm basically just procrastinating and being a wantrepreneur by seeking out advice here I know.. But I just don't know which path to take or what to do right now.
Lost is my best description of the feeling.
Thanks for listening <3
submitted by 4to20milliamps to Entrepreneur [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 11:17 HarukaTheCultLeader New copypasta just dropped

I have to rant. Laugh at me all you want, but I’m genuinely tired of this community trashing all over Firefly for the most absurd reasons (mainly the fact so many people are trying to push crit on her). And I’m really hoping that no matter the changes Firefly going through, I truly hope Mihoyo doesn’t cede to the crit bait for Firefly.
First thing I have to complain about is people complaining about her synergy to the trailblazer for those reasons: – His energy: this is honestly the funniest one. This sounds so stupid to the point I made it up, but I’ve actually had an interaction on YouTube comments where they firmly believed Critfly is better than Breakfly if you can’t manage HMC ult. So then, who in the world actually has energy issues with the trailblazer? I’m not going to comment on that further – Being glued: How the fuck is that a problem? No, genuinely, trailblazer is given E5 for free, and we’ll get the 6th eidolon in the next version. – Not liking the trailblazer: What the fuck how is that even related to the meta anymore? And who the fuck are you to not like the trailblaze, a millennial? Does it bother you that much to have a dialogue option with “You’re the imposter! Among Us” but you’re fine with degenerated characters like Sparkle?
The ONLY valid reason to not like this synergy is if you’re a Boothill/Xueyi main and you’re sad that you don’t have 2 HMCs to split in the two nodes of MoC. That’s the only reason I’ll find fair, and it’s further enhanced by Feixiao speculated to be a Break DPS. However, what so many people tend to forget is the Break meta is only just beginning, so this restriction of hers is only a matter of time. Remember when Kafka could only be played with 4* dot units, and her best harmony used to be Asta? Now it’s completely different, we’ve had Black Swan, Ruan Mei, and now even Robin who can arguably be better than Ruan Mei for DoT. Break is going to be the same, it’s only a matter of time until Mihoyo creates new supports that synergize with break, and the super-break (or new mechanics they may make) is definitely not going to remain a trailblazer-only gimmick. And even so HMC is still fucking awesome, destruction tb is long forgotten, pres tb is only relevant in Acheron teams, while imaginary trailblazer allows so many more team compositions, and opens up players to the break playstyle. While I don’t wanna be too hopium, if Jiaqoiu’s minimal healing is sufficient for a Firefly (since she gets so much dmg reduction), and that he has decent toughness dmg, I could see him be a replacement for Gallhager.
And what I find absurd in those people is if they really want to discard HMC, it’s in fact possible. While Critfly is weaker than Breakfly, it’s still a possible playstyle. Kazjire calculated that HueHue/Ruan Mei/Robin/FF is 10% weaker than GallhageRuan Mei/HMC/FF, which is completely acceptable to me. Breakfly is still imo better, requires less investment, does more damage, and it emphasizes the break playstyle perfectly, but so many people overlook this aspect that Firefly can be played in two different ways, so they end up trashing on her and want to force her to have a singular crit playstyle, which is ridiculous.
I’m going to do a lot of comparison to DoT playstyle, because just like break playstyle: – they are both alternative playstyles players can pick up on – an important part of both playstyle’s damage is backloaded – both their main damage can’t crit – they both have their “front-loaders” enables kafka for dot & htb for break (also fire, phys, wind and lightning break inherently lead to dot, but that’s just a small detail)
When Kafka came out (obvs no offense to kafka, shes fictional and i still adore her as a character), I think she was more than welcomed by the player base. Even if some people did Critka for some odd reasons, DoT was still welcomed as a new meta and I don’t remember it being any controversial compared to what’s currently going on for break. Kafka didn’t even have Black Swan nor Ruan Mei at the time, her potential was highly limited. Meanwhile Firefly has a FREE E6 unit, RUAN MEI, and GALLHAGER that was given for free and will be given for free again in the next selector, so as long as you didn’t skip Ruan Mei you literally have her best team at the moment and you are not gated by any form of investment aside from relic farming. Maybe the reason for the different reactions is because Kafka is a mommy and gets mommy treatment, but with Firefly being Sam AND HER SICK ANIMATIONS I absolutely don’t understand why her reception by the player base is so bad when she’s adored by many? But then, while Firefly isn’t a mommy, so many non-grass touchers (im one too so i understand, if i actually touched grass i wouldnt be writing this) feel wayy too attached to Firefly, so perhaps the reason is those people are projecting on their fictional girlfriend and want her to be meta and stronger than Acheron.. like she’s definitely not anywhere near Acheron but SHE’S GOD DAMN GOOD? But so many people refuse to see it.
I’m assuming it’s because Break playstyle is currently the least played, and it will only gain relevancy once Boothill releases. Xueyi is still here but many still prefer playing QQ (completely fine). Compared to Crit, Dot, or FuA, break got the least attention because of its inconsistency. Break dmg used to be backloaded, there’s no way to frontload it, and you could only deal significant break damage by breaking the enemy. Back in the days, Freeze and Imprisonment were actually counter-synergistic to break playstyle because they delay the enemy, which is a dps loss for the Break Dot to trigger (entanglement, wind shear, bleed), and a dps loss as you have to wait even further to break again the enemy. Mihoyo has given a completely different turn to this, by putting longer weakness break = good, and the introduction of super-break allows break dmg to finally be frontloaded. This is huge for break meta, and the fact super-break damage is not racist (unlike normal break which advantages fire & physical and high-toughness bar enemies) makes it a less restrictive and more viable playstyle.
But even when Mihoyo clearly intended break playstyle to be this way, you will have people be like: “Oh, but when you’re in the process of breaking the enemy you do no damage, not to mention toughness immune enemies, so you should still build crit to let her deal decent non-break damage”
NO SHIT SHERLOCK! WELL SPOTTED! This is banger news, nobody knew that break playstyle is backloaded even with HMC. More seriously: – For the toughness-immune bosses, that’s the exact same logic as trying to brute force the Moc 12 Dyno on first half with an off-element DPS AND without SW. Like, why tf are you even doing that in the first place? So in our case, why tf would you play a Break DPS (Firefly) against an enemy that is toughness-immune? The solution against that kind of toughness-immune enemy is NOT to build crit on Firefly so she does “decent non-break dmg”, Crifly still wants to break enemy. The solution is simply not playing Firefly, or doing whatever it takes to disable the toughness immunity. – Firefly literally has the highest front-loaded toughness damage in the game. There is no way around this. Her enhanced skill with Ruan Mei does 180 toughness damage, she deals toughness damage at the start of each way with her technique, she implants fire-weakness on the central target, she still deplets toughness of non-fire weak enemies. If Gallhager is in the team, the toughness depleting is even faster. With all of these factors people still dare say there’s a chance the enemy may not be broken after her combustion state? Like what? I’m aware that it’s harder to theorycraft that side of things, because the enemy lineup is always different in MoC and you have to make assumptions or normalize. However, if Firefly doesn’t break the enemy during combustion, that is not a Firefly issue, that’s straight up skill issue. – And those complaining about her ult downtime, saying that she needs an action advancer. Who’s going to tell them the point of the downtime is to let the enemy recover toughness..? So then they can be broken again..? ESPECIALLY when Ruan Mei delays the weakness recovery and including Firefly’s signature lightcone decreases enemy speed. I’m not saying action advancers are bad with her, but so many people skip on those details and all they have in-mind is the generalist Crit playstyle that they’re trying to force on Firefly, so they easily miss on those details.
All playstyles have their weakness. While yea Crit playstyle is the least punished as it’s known for basically brute-forcing about everything (especially since the release of Acheron) just because a DPS is less performant at a certain type of enemy, compared to other DPS’, doesn’t mean that said DPS is weak and that this aspect of them should be improved. Now it’s been cleared that Critka was just GachaSmack being silly and goofy, it happens to everyone, so Kafka not doing great damage with her follow-up alone and that most of her damage comes from detonating DoT has been something the entire community accepted and embraced, by pairing her with DoT DPS whether it’s Black Swan, Sampo, Luka, or Guinaifen. But when DoT is faced against an enemy like Bronya (she’s not rlly in moc 12 anymore so its not that relevant but still), who cleanses all debuffs applied on an ally she advances, is your solution against that building Crit on Kafka since your DoTs will keep being cleansed? Obviously not, it’s not the solution, but so many people think this way specifically for Firefly and believe it is the ultimate all-issue solving solution for Firefly.
The other thing that gives me the ick is how some people don’t differentiate Hybrid/Critfly to Breakfly. Those people clearly never played a break Sushang or a break Luka back in the days (well those days aren’t that old). Some people actually believe that Hybrid Firefly is FF/RM/HMC/Gallhager with Firefly being on 360 BE with a 60/120crit ratio is a must-have. That is literally 21 average substats of crit, and at this point of investment the same amount of substats going into BE would deal way more damage as it’s improving her super break damage. While her trace gets capped at 360 BE, so does her multipliers, her superbreak damage does not cap. 487 BE FF on a 5/50 ratio is better than 360 BE FF on 60/120 ratio because superbreak dmg cannot be capped and makes up for all the team’s damage. Why do people genuinely expect to get so much crit on a BRAND NEW set and think it’s the way to go when her non-break dmg counts for the less than 20% of the total team’s output? (source kazjire’s sheet) And not to mention break is a more common substat than crit. This brings me to my next point, that too many people don’t understand break meta. That being said, Critfly/Hybrid is still a thing, but many people misunderstand it.
The term Hybrid for break playstyle was coined by Lily Aquina, she’s the pioneer content creator on the global server to actively promote and use the break playstyle. Apparently she was known for playing in a way that’s completely different from most of the playerbase in FGO, but I didn’t play FGO and I discovered her when I was struggling with Forgotten Hall as a beginner. She coined the Hybrid-Break playstyle by claiming her units may do a shit ton of break damage when breaking the enemy, but then they do 0 damage and have to wait for the enemy to recover. Thus she combines both crit and break and that’s how hybrid playstyle came to be (on EN server at least). You break enemies, do really good break damage, and use your normal abilities to do decent normal damage.
Firefly is no exception to this, her only gimmick is that she is much stronger than other break DPS we’ve had so far when it comes to the pure break playstyle; her def ignore, 12% vulnerability on ult, 4pc set additional break def ignore, they are all factors that increase break and super-break damage, meaning she is stronger on a Break build and it’s worth it to reach 360 BE. However, Critfly is still viable for those who want to play it, but your stopping point when building her hybrid is staying at minimum 250 BE without going too far off, so you can allocate substats for atk% and crit. The whole point of Hybrid Firefly is to actually use her multipliers and have her crit, thus HMC is not needed in this playstyle and supports like Robin/Sparkle are favored. If you’re playing HMC, which is her best playstyle, you can frontload break damage, so you should completely forgo crit and aim for 360 BE, her multipliers DO NOT matter in this playstyle. Some people still don’t understand that and I find it crazy.
Hybrid = Critfly = 250 BE & Crit Ratio, HMC not needed Full Break = Breakfly = 360+ BE, 180 speed, HMC mandatory
Period.
In the end, this is what a conversation with those type of people feel like:
A: “Oh I don’t like Firefly cause I feel she’s too restricted to the Break playstyle” B: “You can play Crifly, it’s not as good as Breakfly but still viable, you only need 250 BE instead of 360 in this playstyle” A: “Oh but I need so many stats, so much crit, so much atk, so much be.. it needs to so much investment and so hard to build” B: “Then you can play Breakfly, depending on factors like how much BE your HMC gives, watchmaker, her new 2pc and 4pc, Ruan Mei, reaching 360 BE actually requires little to no substats.” A: “Oh but that’s boring. I don’t wanna be forced into this playstyle, it’s too easy to just slap stuff with no reward. I want something that feels exciting with upgrades you know?” B: “Okay… Then you can play Critfly? You can play her with Robin/Sparkle, it’s not as good as Breakfly but still viable” A: “Oh but that’s so expensive, I don’t like how the requirements for limited supports become so high. 2 limited harmonies in one team? What about my other MoC node?” B: “Alright.. Then you can play Breakfly? Her BiS support is trailblazer, they’re free and E6 by 2.3, and her best healer is Gallhager, which you are guaranteed two copies as long as you selected him in the event selector as well as the upcoming one. This team is more accesible and stronger than Critfly” A: “Oh but I don’t like the fact that a team with 2 limited harmonies is weaker than a team with 2 free units, it’s such wasted investement.” B: “So you don’t like the fact that Critfly requires a lot of investement?” A: “Mhm.” B: “But you also don’t like how Breafkly is extremely easy to build and braindead?” A: “Yea”
How does B satisfy A then? I’ll tell you the answer. B becomes a Mihoyo employee and gets rid of Sam’s animations because apparently they look like a green Fairy and green flames don’t exist and instead Firefly becomes a Crit DPS and no longer has anything break-related in her kit. Only then B will be fully satisfied.
This is what I fear the most with the backlash from so many players. Crit DPS are not going anywhere, Jade is literally a Crit DPS, even if she’s FuA focused. Alternative playstyles are more exciting to me than the standard Crit playstyle, and the thing about Firefly is you have to complete freedom to choose between Hybrid Break or Full Break. Yet so many people think her kit is bad and that she needs a rework, so many people are forcing crit onto her, and not welcoming of this playstyle being applied to her.
And I fear this the most with the CN players. While I don’t interact with them and only watch a couple of Bilibili here and there, we all know CN players are the two extreme edges of our community. The first extreme edge is they’re much more smarter than us, while we were arguing about whether FuXuan reverses her HP more than twice, CN was already calculating how much average HP she’d need to sustain. And the other extreme edge is that they’re completely wild, they are actually crazy. Whether its camping in-front of KFC for Genshin gliders, rioting because of Hi3 global anniversary, going mad at the idea of male characters being playable in Hi3.. And the worst thing is that it works, most of the time. If they do something similar for Firefly not being a crit DPS, I’m afraid Mihoyo will just cede and that those people forcing crit on Firefly finally win and the Break playstyle loses its unicity and flavor. And then I’ll look like a clown for the rest of my life because of this comment.
Don’t know if anyone will read this immature rant, but if you feel the same way I do, we’re not alone buddy. Or maybe not for long until Mihoyo changes her kit.
submitted by HarukaTheCultLeader to FireflyMains [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 09:41 OkPrint76 Seeking advice on mixed signals - how to make things work with my (24F) "boyfriend" (M30)?

Hey, sorry for longer post but please read it...
So, my boyfriend kinda ended things with me week and a half ago and I don't know how to cope with this. I didn't expect it and that's why I'm even more heartbroken. Literally the day before everything was fine, he didn't show any signs that something was wrong.
A little backstory: I (24F) and my boyfriend (30M) have been together for just over 3 and a half years. Our relationship is somewhat long-distance; we mostly see each other on weekends and more often over the summer (I study and work in another city). We love each other very much and had often planned a family and a life together. A week ago, we talked about where we would move in together once I move back after finishing my studies.
Yesterday we met, and everything was semi-okay, he was quite hungover since we went out the night before. Out of the blue, he asked me, "Why don't you break up with me?" to which I just looked at him strangely and asked why I would. The conversation continued and he told me how he doesn't love himself and how he has been unhappy all his life, aware that it's his own fault, and that he doesn’t want us to have this conversation in 5 years when things will be different and he will be even worse, and he doesn't want to ruin my life. I told him I loved him more than anything in the world and that he means the world to me. He then told me that it somewhat bothers him, how much I love him, but that he can't love himself and hates himself.
I was shocked, I asked him how he feels about me, and he told me he loves me more than anything in the world, respects me, and that besides being his girlfriend, I am also his best friend. At this point, I started crying and couldn't understand why he was leaving me if he loves me. He told me that he wants the best possible life for me, which he probably can't provide because the problem is always with him and everything wrong he does and the reason for his unhappiness is himself.
I asked him if it was about another girl or something similar, and he said it wasn't, that he doesn't want anyone else but me, and that he would rather be alone than with someone else.
I asked him why he can talk about a shared life, family, and how much he loves me one day, and break up with me the next day. I asked him if he was happy with me. He then told me that I am his only happiness in life, to which I said that I think this is a mistake, that I want him to wake up in the morning and write to me that he was wrong and regrets it. He then told me he can confirm that now, that he doesn't need to wait until morning.
I continued to express my feelings, and he started to cry. It was evident that the whole process was hard for him, he held my hand, and I don't know... He told me we would talk again over the weekend, to which I asked what we would talk about. He answered: I don't know, we'll watch a movie and fall asleep together. He asked me to see him that Friday.
Also, we had planned a trip at the end of May since I bought him tickets for his favorite band's concert for his birthday.
On Friday when we saw each other, I told him everything I feel for him and asked him not to interrupt my monologue. I mentioned how happy I saw him when we were on our trip, even though it was just one - here he interrupted me and said, 'we will go on more of them.' When I finished my monologue, the first thing he said was 'We will get married and have 6 kids, but not yet.' He thinks that we need to be best friends for now, stay in touch. I asked him when we will be together again, and he replied, 'When you can live without me and when you will be mentally independent of me.' What does that mean? We agreed to go on the trip we had already planned together.
Moreover, he asked me to work together on a project because he trusts no one but me to do the job well and wants ME to earn that money, not someone else.
On Saturday, he said he wanted to see me again. He picked me up and took me out for dinner. I asked him if this was a date or what? He told me it was a casual dinner, but again - he took me out to dinner!
It was very nice and we talked a lot… He also asked me if I wanted to get YouTube Premium with him and his cousin, to which I answered, 'Can we get Spotify instead?' He responded, 'I have both. Do you want to go in on Spotify Premium Duo with me?' I responded positively. He said that I don't have to pay anything, that he'll handle all the payments despite us both using it. He also said that he'll get Amazon Prime next month and he'll give me the password if I want to watch At the end of our meeting, I initiated a kiss - he accepted it.
And if you're wondering—no, we're not sleeping together. I suggested it to him a few times out of curiosity to see if he would agree, in the sense of whether this is now a 'breakup,' but he still wants an 'easier way.' He didn't want to; he told me it would be 'wrong' of him because it would probably turn out that he was just using me, whereas he actually wants to give me love. Moreover, he doesn't have anyone and hasn't been with anyone during this period of separation, and his friends have told me that he only talks about me.
He is still wearing the bracelet I got him for our anniversary last year. We are still in contact, mostly about some business we are working on together. Also, last Monday I found out the date of my graduation and I called him to tell him that because two weeks before, we were talking about it and he asked me what kind of flowers he should get me. I said to him that no matter the situation we are currently in, I want him on my graduation day. I told him that I would really like him to attend. He started to get a bit frustrated on the phone, kind of mad in some way, and told me that he probably will not attend. I asked him why. He answered because of the situation we are currently in. Then he told me that I could have written him that in a message instead of calling him because he's very busy. I hung up the phone and was really sad about it, and then I threw the phone away. Later, I picked the phone up again and saw that he had actually texted me about three minutes after our call: 'I'm truly sorry, I've had a really bad day, I'll be there I guess.' So, he is the person who NEVER apologizes after a phone argument; even in a face-to-face argument, he is the one that rarely apologizes.
We saw each other this Saturday; it was nice, we talked about everything, but not about us... at the end of the evening, we just hugged and he gave me a kiss on the forehead.
My friend told me that she thinks he is currently in a phase where he has realized that he hasn't achieved everything he wanted in life and is afraid that he won't be able to provide everything I want. That he doesn't want to end our relationship, but that he is unsure of himself.
Please, I just need advice from someone who has been in my boyfriend's position to help me understand why someone who wants to marry me is struggling so badly with themselves that they don't want to be with me?
How to make things up?
TL;DR: My boyfriend of over three years broke up with me unexpectedly, citing his struggles with self-love and unhappiness, despite still loving me deeply. He insists on remaining "best friends" for now and talks of future plans together ambiguously. We're still connected through work and shared plans, but his inconsistency and the recent break-up have left me confused and hoping for reconciliation.
submitted by OkPrint76 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 08:53 Future-Note2459 I’m manipulative.

I have a history of all types of abuse throughout my childhood and I have been diagnosed with PTSD as a result. I’m 19(F) now. I’ve noticed some tendencies of mine in my relationship with my girlfriend 19(F) are negative. Like, a lot of the time, if I want to do something, I’ll ask her if she wants to do it. That way, I don’t have to assert it and make her feel pressured. That way, I can know for sure if she’s cool with it.
I think I struggle with that a lot because if I just asked her if she wanted something, she can’t hold it over my head later, and demand something I’m not comfortable with (she would never, my mom would).
It’s bad, I know. There are ways that I try to use that part of my brain positively. Like, if I know she needs to get to bed early (because she says so/wants to), I'll purposefully time our activities together, so she enjoys them and can get a good night’s rest. Win, win. It’s like a mini-mission. Other times, not so much. I get selfish and dumb instead of directly asking her for help or what I want.
There’s a childish part of my brain that’s saying “Well, I told her I wasn’t in the place to talk yesterday, and she talked to me anyway.” Yet, that’s my job to repeat my boundary. It was my job to tell her I wasn’t comfortable again. Maybe she didn’t hear me the first time. Maybe I should’ve said it more clearly.
At the same time, a boundary was crossed, and I’m still hurt. She wants to “show off” for me today. I’m asexual and today I’m just not feeling it. I’ve told her I don’t know how to respond and she says any reaction is fine. But I just…don’t have one. She’s ace too. Does she want compliments? She also does that when she wants something else. Like, you know, sexual-undertone compliments.
(FTR: Asexuality is a spectrum. Little to no attraction. I don't know where my GF falls).
I don't know how to stand up for myself without hurting her feelings. Maybe I'll ask her to ask me first.
Anyway, she was coming onto me today and I didn't have the energy for that. I also fawn a lot. She isn't bad—I just don't know what to do. She’s clinging onto me because she’s going through something right now.
She wants to relax and rely on me. I want to relax. For once in (what feels like) my damned life. Me relaxing does not involve caretaking, no matter how much I enjoy doting on her.
I tried to kind of take control back? Ask her if she wanted me to “show off” before bed. She said yes, by the way. When she’s showing off, I think she wants to see a reaction I’m not having. Like, I gush over her. I love her. She’s gorgeous. But I’m not into her. I can’t really tell to be honest. Most of the time I’m indifferent to sex.
I don’t have the ability to do that with a clear head. Not today. I don’t have the energy to dote on her. I mean, I do, but normally this ties into a sexual thing with the “showing off” and I figure “maybe she can get this energy out” without me being buried in aftercare. Like, still aftercare, but not days after, aftercare. So ultimately this is a roundabout way to control the situation instead of just telling her, so both her feelings and my boundaries are somewhat protected.
Manipulative.
I know she goes to bed from 10:30-12. So, the me “showing off” thing was short. I was impulsive and didn’t check in with her as much as I should. Actually, I take that back, I did multiple times.
I gave her the opportunity to initiate sex, asked her if she’d rather watch YouTube, or sleep. She said youtube. And alas, that was our night.
I asked her because I wanted her to get that energy out. I think? I don’t even…so the intention wasn’t great. But I also completely respected her answer. And would again. What if there was a time where I didn’t?
Instead of just saying I’m struggling with the relationship due to her not adequately caring for herself/being cared for…(mental health stuff)…I suggest therapy to her on a silver spoon because yes, i want her to be happy. I love her. I also feel like a husk of a human being because I cannot provide her with the majority of her emotional support.
Is that something she’s relying on me for because she won’t/can’t do it herself? Or, is it an expectation I put on myself to be the best partner. Even though, the best partner doesn’t act like that. We both have ADHD. So, motivation is hell. Dopamine? What’s that?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Please help.
submitted by Future-Note2459 to ptsdrecovery [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 04:36 snowycatz How do I 20M find more stuff to do alone outside?

I don’t have any friends other than my girlfriend and want to find more things to do alone, what are some things I can do? I’m a boring person and want to do more of everything and try everything out there. But I don’t where to start. And how to know what to do when I’m bored, i don’t wanna keep watching YouTube/shows all day
submitted by snowycatz to DecidingToBeBetter [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 03:56 stealthknights Girlfriend's laptop having Video Memory issues?

Hi all, apologies for formatting as I am on mobile and this is also my first post/question here, seeking your help, advice or possible solutions.
My girlfriend and I often video call on Discord. Sometimes when she is on YouTube and Discord, often simultaneously, her screen freezes and wont be able to click anything. It will go black momentarily and she will have a pop-up message come up that says something along the lines of "video memory low" or something like it's "out of storage." It forces her to restart her PC laptop, otherwise it won't function or work. After a restart it will work completely normally, and a few days later, it may happen again.
This happens when I, or herself, screen shares a game or video and if she has YouTube open as well.
This confuses me a bit as she has adequate RAM and her laptop is not outdated by any means. I'm not sure what could alleviate, fix, or avoid this issue. Hopefully you can help, thank you!
submitted by stealthknights to pchelp [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 01:16 Due_Mission5714 Strong fit sandbag

Strong fit sandbag
So my girlfriend wants to get into sandbag training, we found these on Rogue’s website (it comes in pink so that caught her eye haha). Has anyone had experience with these bags? Are they good quality? I only use Cerberus bags so I’m not sure how well these will hold up, there are basically no reviews on YouTube and the reviews on the website are mixed and don’t give much detail
submitted by Due_Mission5714 to sandbagtraining [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 00:11 Kwerbo Seeking Advice: Feeling Stuck Despite External Success

Hello everyone,
I(24M)'ve been struggling with depression for many years, battling suicidal thoughts and relying heavily on high-dose antidepressants. My situation has been complicated by my mother's incurable cancer, a challenging breakup, and a pervasive sense of failure.
Over the past two years, I've managed to turn things around on the surface. I've completed my studies, landed a prestigious job as a Data Engineer, and built a comfortable life with my girlfriend and our cats in a beautiful apartment with a nice car. However, despite these external achievements, something feels off.
My job as a Data Engineer fills me with anxiety and insecurities, and I've lost the ability to derive pleasure from activities I used to love, like playing the guitar or videography. Instead, I find myself wasting time playing video games and feeling like I'm not living life to the fullest.
I can't seem to muster the willpower to pursue weight loss or engage in activities that used to bring me joy. The anxiety that emerged during my depression has never truly left. I feel trapped in this existence and society. Sometimes I think about changing careers, but then I question the point, as I still find life equally devoid of meaning when I imagine myself in my dream jobs.
I've come to realize that I may not be cut out for the traditional office environment with its rigid schedules, demanding obligations, and constant stress. The structure of a typical 9-to-5 job feels suffocating to me, and I can't shake the feeling that there must be more to life than this. Perhaps the corporate world isn't the right fit for me after all, and I need to explore alternative career paths or lifestyles that align better with my values and personality but I know it will not be enough for me to be happy.
I believe I'm searching for purpose in my life, but even when I manage to identify goals, I find myself unable to take steps toward achieving them. I've cut out all social media except Reddit and YouTube in an effort to reclaim my attention, but I suspect the issue runs deeper.
I'm at a loss and feel unable to progress in my pursuit of happiness. Do you have any suggestions or ideas that might help me break free from this cycle?
submitted by Kwerbo to mentalhealth [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 00:07 AzurSteel 23[M4F]USA/Missouri/Online

Hello to whoever reads this my name is sam. For a short introduction I am a 22 year old Hispanic male. I don't really speak a lot of spanish despite that though something I did try to fix though to almost no avail sadly. I am on the shorter side as I'm only 5’2 as well as being on the heavier side. My interests include video games, YouTube, and watching anime. I know those are pretty generic nowadays, but I do have others just those are the main ones. I do want to get my hunting license so sorry if that's a turn away for you. Having a girlfriend that would do all of those or at least some of those things with me would be nice, but I don't mind if not.
submitted by AzurSteel to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

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