Headache fever body aches upset stomach

I’m 19 years old and a little bit on the heavier side mostly around the stomach area, and I’ve been attempting quads since last month, but my main issue is my arms as I can’t seem to properly hold myself up when I attempt it, and plus with the CONSTANT wrist pain i’m left with for days after it.
is there ways to strengthen my arms without weights as I don’t have any at home currently? Should I lose a significant amount of weight before I even practice quads?? I feel so left out and (if jealous) when I see other people doing quads like it’s nothing and I feel like i’m missing out entirely because my body and body aches slow me down, and i’m not seeing any improvement.

Hey all!
After ~3 years of no progress, I fully recovered in about eight weeks. 97% of the symptoms are gone, including PEM, fatigue, MCAS reactions, and feeling sick most of the time. I’m back to working 9-10h a day with superb cognitive output, training as hard as I can (i.e., 30min peloton 168 bpm, >10k steps a day, lots of bodyweight work during the day), and being truly myself. Gosh, I’m feeling fucking blessed. Like I was asleep for 3y and finally woke up. I have SO MUCH energy. Started a new project, got back to writing essays, hanging out with friends, etc. I’m fucking alive again!
Case summary:
Got a very mild Covid in the beginning of July 2021; didn’t even have fever but felt exhausted (i.e., struggled getting out of bed in the morning) and lost smell and taste; recovered in ~10 days; senses returned in ~2-3 weeks.
Developed neuro issues (cognitive PEM, difficulty thinking) and fatigue during acute covid, literally next day after exposure, and they never went away; this was my first long covid symptom.
Then kept developing more & more symptoms:

• food sensitivities in Aug-Sep 2021
• chronic recurrent sinusitis in Sep 2021
• dysautonomia and POTS in 2022
• stomach (H Pylori), gut, and joints issues in summer 2023
• more sensitivities (cold, heat, pill coating) in summer 2023
• neuropathies, more severe joints issues in late 2023/2024
• recurring viral infections (reactivation?) in May, Sep, Dec 2023, Mar 2024

My major sX on March 2024 were:

1. feeling and being sick most days (fatigue/ugh state, brain fog, reddish cheeks, sinus and ear Sx, sometimes cold sores)
   1. frequent (every month) sinus infections (very thick yellow mucus, severe cognitive dysfunction, sinus and ear Sx: pressure, congestion, postnasal drip, hot ears in the evening)
   2. persistent brain fog/cognitive dysfunction: working and long-term memory issues, slow info processing, word recall troubles, not feeling like myself/depersonalization, etc.
2. mental and physical PEM
3. MCAS: allergy-like reactions to foods (esp high-histamine), cold, pressure, exercise, certain antibiotics (augmentin), tablet coating, etc.
   
4. dysautonomia and POTS
   
5. gut issues: bloating, upset, abdominal pain (esp right lower quadrant; even tested for appendicitis via bloods + CT + ultrasound)
   
6. joints issues: pain and swelling in both feet metatarsals (bursitis)
   
7. misc:
   
   1. pain, weakness, and discomfort in 4th and 5th left hand fingers
   2. right eye issues: sometimes enlarged pupil (only in right eye), pain above right eye if I roll my eyes up, looking at bright objects leaves a lasting mark in the visual field (but does not in the left eye)

Summary of what I believe healed me:

1. lots of sunlight: sunrise, midday, sunset; as much time as possible under the sun (see below for the pic how I’m typing these words!) >> this cleared up sinus, ear, and GI infections + improved energy and mood
2. cold exposure: 3 min cold showers + morning and evening ~20min naked torso outside at ~5-9 degrees celsius; plus temp variability: hanging out naked torso outside as much as possible to retrain that vasculature and aerate the body >> this reduced stress, removed fatigue, and brought my energy back
3. spending most of my time outdoors, in nature (parks, forest, meadows, lakes, etc.): hanging out amongst animals, birds, etc. >> this further reduced stress to basically zero and brought back a sense of joy and serenity
4. nervous system retraining via specific types of movement and aromatherapy: balance, dancing, climbing, boxing moves, fencing, crawling + smelling flowers, trees, essential oils, herbs >> this brought back trust in my body and a sense of balance & peace
5. very clean, vegan, autophagy-optimized diet + eggs (i.e., no sugar, UPFs of any kind, all organic, mostly fresh/little cooked; lots of spermidine via sprouted rye, wheat; other autophagy boosting foods), with ~3 small meals a day and 20-40% caloric restriction >> this took away gut issues, reduced joint inflammation, and opened up my sinuses after years of congestion
6. lots of movement throughout the day and gradual return to more intense exercise: started from short and very light and low intensity bodyweight workout (10 mins; one set of squats, pushups, abs, etc.) and built up from that; z1 cardio 105 bpm walking with ~5kg backpack; then z2 peloton 15>20>30 mins; then more intense strength workouts with dumbbells + LOTS of movement throughout the day, every 20-30 mins, never still >> this also greatly improved energy, although I did get PEM first (in March-April) after more-or-less intense 40 min strength training with dumbbells, but then it went away; that lady from huberman pod (see below) had a brilliant point of how each type of exercise (walking, strength, endurance, HIIT, zone 2) positively affects mitochondria in different ways, “muscle contraction is medicine”
7. weirdly, 100% dark chocolate, 20-50g daily. It’s a strong autophagy inducer and boasts with antioxidants + boosts brain function and mood. >> I felt substantially better right after I started eating it, and never stopped.

Supplements and drugs I took: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_oA0CONWDlPg7eEABA6tIo9Np5sfVy_iC497JrZDeoY/edit#gid=0
All they did was reduce brain fog + reactions to foods, but those sx immediately returned when I tried stopping the supps in Feb.
I think the main problem was mitochondrial dysfunction because all those things I did address it in various ways. Huberman released a great pod on it last week (https://youtu.be/8qaBpM73NSk?si=cDdTBiOzKk86wkQn) + check out Jack Kruse stuff for more info
Sending you all good energy. Stay strong. You can beat it.
VS

Content warning: Trauma
I got my first IUD on Friday. I had never had a pap or examine (32 yr) and have always felt guilty about being behind on preventative health care. I have also exclusively used withdraw since I was 18. I have only been in long term relationships and when the birth control conversation inevitably came up in the beginning of each, I would bristle. It would follow the ceasing of condom use and come with the implication that we (I) should be more responsible about birth control. I resented the suggestion that I alone should be responsible for altering my body to accommodate a man's, even my partner's, pleasure because they would rather not wear condoms and don't want to pull out. The idea of bearing the full burden of responsibility by inserting a foreign object in my body, in my most intimate organ has always insensed me on a fundamental level. But in truth, I always felt guilty for depriving my partner. and when friends would rebuke my choices as reckless- I don't know how many times I've been told I must be infertile if I haven't become pregnant yet while not using birth control. So when I went for my first exam, I thought it might be wise to do the responsible thing that I've felt urged to do from all fronts.
I wasn't nervous. In fact I saw it as a challenge to overcome. I listened to the information given to me during the consultarion. I felt like I had enough of a grasp of what was going to happen. I was offered xanax and lidocaine, but it was implied that lidocaine could be just as painful. I don't feel I was discouraged necessarily, but I felt it was not being encouraged. I wish I would have taken both offers instead of just the ibuprofen.
I was told of the potential pain and range of variable experience, that some women have felt the pain of insertion worse than child birth. But everyone that knows me knows that I have a high pain tolerance. And so say many women I imagine. The doctor told me I might have a "whoosh" experience, which I understood to mean fainting. I still didn't feel much fear leading up to the procedure.
I was told how the procedure would go, the assessment, the speculum, the measuring and the insertion. I was surprised by the size of the model iuds, though I'm not sure what I was expecting. I thought I understood the sounding- I didn't. I had no idea about the tenaculum. Once the examine was rolling it seemed all previously mentioned anxiety and pain management were off the table unless I insisted they stop.
I was uncomfortable from the beginning and realized I was in for an unpleasant experience if I couldn't get myself to relax. The resident MD was being coached by the doctor. I heard them discussing the tilt of my uterus as she seemingly went rutting around for my cervix. Even the cotton swab was painful. They brought in a nurse to squeeze my hand and try to distract me with idle conversation. He was a literal angel and I wouldn't have been able even attempt to mask the agony without him there.
I knew it could be painful but I had no idea. I have only ever heard of the "pinch" and some menstrual like cramps. I had only ever heard from women that had had relatively uncomplicated insertions with moderate pain if any.
The insertion was the single most excruciating event of my life. It is still so surreal as my mind is already trying to protect me from the memory days later. I was close to screaming but tried hard to laugh through the agony out of embarrassment and not wanting to make the doctors feel bad. I wish I had blacked out but I was acutely aware of every sensation. At peak pain, I did something I would normally never do and said "This Really Hurts". I can't put into words how much but I know some reading this may understand.
It felt like it lasted ages but eventually it was over. I felt absolutely broken. I was able to sit up even though I was in severe pain and all I could feel was my wrecked cervical canal and the device inside of me. I was able to dress and have some juice that was brought to me. The angel nurse came and sat with me some more to make sure I was okay. I was not, there was no position I could sit or stand in for relief but I again tried to put on a brave face, for a moment.
I felt delirious trying to make conversation and I suddenly realized I was sweating profusely. I informed him I needed to get undressed again. He suggested I lay back down. Terrible, no. I put my head under the faucet. My pelvis was screaming. Standing was awful. I hobbled to the bathroom across the hall and immediately took my shirt off again, more water. I felt like I needed to shit and puke. The pain was getting worse and worse so I weakly crossed the hall again shirtless back to the bed. Now the staff were concerned and coming to assist me.
I spent the next HOUR in pain again, nearly as bad as the procedure. Charlie horse level cramps all over from the waste down, the worst of which concentrated in my cervix. Fever chills and aches like the worst food poisoning/stomach virus you've ever had. The muscles in my hips were screaming and moving was not an option. I had ice packs on my head and warm packs all around my waste. I wondered if my body was in full assault mode against a perceived foreign invader. I am pretty sure I was in shock. I was hypotensive the whole time while a new nurse monitored my vitals. I struggled to respond to any one verbally.
The doctor overseeing the insertion swung by, placed pressure on my lower stomach and asked if it hurt. Yes. You're not gushing blood though are you? No. I don't recall him saying much else before a left again. Later, when delivering my exit consultation he reminded me of the "whoosh" sensation he'd told me about and explained thats what I had just experienced for the last hour and that it was not uncommon.
I felt like I was nailed to that bed for hours pouring sweat and trying everything to avoid the pain in my entire body. Eventually I noticed my breaths were finally seeming to connect back to my heart rate. I started coming back to life and immediately asked the new nurse if she knew why male birth control options were not available in the US after decades. She flatly responded, the patriarchy. I told her I had used tracking and withdraw for the past 14 years and I wasn't sure what I had just done to my body was necessary. She agreed, tracking could be a viable planning option she said. I still hadn't shed a tear during this ordeal.
Tears were to come and to come repeatedly in the following days, every time I remember anything about what happened. I was depleted and deeply depressed. I feel hurt and violated and alone. I'm not mad at any one in particular. I mad on the whole that we are made to feel we have an obligation to bravely endure Why?
The pain largely subsided after the worst of it but I could, and still can, feel the IUD inside me. I hope that awareness goes away and I can eventually forget it's there and what I went through for it. I was starting to feel better today until I got my medical report in my email. Notes for post procedure: "patient tolerated procedure well."
I am so beyond hurt and angry. This has to be a mistake? I've left voice messages with the clinic. This is very important for me that this is corrected, for my record and the larger record. I found it so hard to find stories like mine outside of this forum. Are they going unreported? How common is this? What are these statistics that are published?
I'm mad and exhausted and I hurt for anyone who had also experienced this. I want to hear your stories of your experiences, even if they were more fortunate than mine.
I don't not recommend getting any IUD, but I won't recommend it, at least not without pain management. do yourself the favor. But I feel more opposed to the concept now than ever before. I won't accept that this is the best option available in this day and age. Really?

Pretty much that really. Ive had an awful 15 months, a terrible last six, and the months since March are sending me to therapy. We seem to have finally hit on a treatment that works and I am moving around better already and starting to feel better, but with that comes reawakening of wanting to be a person with an identity beyond patient or wife/partner.
I feel like all I do around the house is clean and pick up stuff 'boy blind' husband doesn't see to put away, but I feel bad for feeling resentful because he has done everything above and beyond to keep us going and managing me in all that pain. But my one day out is to the hospital where something is always messed up and I come home 9 hours later exhausted and he is upset again with my care team and I just want everyone to shut up and go away. Same with the cats and their incessant begging for food and brushing.
We have no family here to help and his family dont even know I have cancer because we weren't sure they could handle it in an appropriate way that wouldn't make him upset with them. And as I scrub the Britta filter jug for the millionth time, after all the lectures about overfilling and line drawing and its still happening, I wish I could just walk away from it all and go sit on a beach in my pre-cancer body, wobbly bits and all, because it wouldnt be either home OR the damn hospital.
I dont know what Im asking or even saying, just noticed some new feeling starting to surface - its probably cabin fever to be honest!

Yesterday, I had a stressful day and when I got home, I suddenly lost my appetite, became bloated and nauseous, my body became achy, I got the chills, and felt like I was burning up.
My temperature was 99 and my COVID test was negative.
I tried to go to sleep, but my stomach hurt, I was sweating profusely, every time I moved my body would ache, and for some reason I had to pee a lot.
Eventually, most of this began to subside around 11 PM and I was able to go to sleep.
I'm still a little hot and sweaty and don't feel 100%, but at least most of these symptoms have gone away.
Does anxiety or neurological issues make any of you sick?
What do you take to make daily life easier to handle?

This is going to be long winded, but I want to get this off my chest to an audience who can more so relate. I really just need to vent too because I have been so go-go-go in my life & I haven’t gotten much chance to talk about this.
I’ve been a traveler since covid, and had planned to stay that way due to enjoying that I basically got to see the parts of the country that I wanted to see. Life was great then. I could take as much time off as I wanted, never had to deal with unit drama, pay made sense for my single, no-tie-downs situation. Then, depression hit.
In short, last Sept-December I spiraled in to this deep, intense sadness feeling that I’ve never felt before. I was back home to enjoy being around but I was being toyed around by my now ex-best friend/roommate, and the girl I was falling for. Eventually I finally confirmed my suspicion and they had been sleeping with each other while I was gone on contract. Lost a bunch of weight, depression hit, calling out of work/leaving early a lot, started having gastritis like symptoms. I used Toradol a little more than the bottle said cause my shoulder injury & I clearly just wasnt thinking. Had a scope done to confirm that. Theres a lot more details I am leaving out unless anyone wants to know, but I finally cut ties with both of them. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I moved out to live with a guy a graduated with & that really helped me get myself back.
I started another contract this past March in the PNW. I love hiking, snowboarding, biking, etc. Just being active is like my thing. The depression started slowly sinking in again. I felt like i had no time to breathe on my very few days off. My schedule was preventing me from going off and getting far out to do hikes that werent in the immediate, one hour radius. Theres too many damn people here for my taste. Traffic nearly all the time, nearby trails are always flooded with people. One day, i woke up before work just not feeling right. Emotions were intense, but i went into work anyway. My stomach symptoms were coming back, and I’m stressing out about it. I dont want pills to mask symptoms, i want to know the root cause. I drive myself mad researching how to identify this without having to spend multiple DR appointments doing. The major causes arent applicable to me. Im 29, healthy body weight, rarely eat junk food, active, dont smoke/drink, etc. Im fighting back tears at work for weeks now. Coworkers have started noticing.
I panicked and called in sick for a handful of days and drove to see a best friend of mine that i met while on a previous contract. I need to make a change in my life. This travel stuff isnt worth the headaches anymore. I’m tired of having to fight for my paychecks all the time. Tired of the isolation, the loneliness. I want to start dating someone but thats difficult. I want upward career growth, but not really possible being a traveler. He offers to let me move into his spare bedroom for cheap. i applied to a few non-bedside jobs and one of them seems very promising with chances of growth. More of a healthy lifestyle approach to nursing which sounds right up my alley.
Now i dont want to go back to my contract. I drove back yesterday, went to the manager, was honest about everything, and quit right there. Ive been beaming since! Im excited to turn a chapter in my life, and start living in an area i know i love. No longer having to deal with hospital BS sounds great. Y’all wish me luck!

First / Previous
Back on the job, my eyes kept going to the camera that was on enclosure one. Andrew told me its real name, but I think that’d be a step too far, putting that out on the internet. I’d just stick with ‘Steve the bear’. Whatever it was, I just knew I’d have a nightmare about it eventually. Last night I slept fitfully but okay. But I know my brain, and I’d already had a nightmare about Yui stabbing me with one of her legs (they are not needle-sharp in real life, this was dream logic) and walking around, having not noticed I was a Ripley-kebab on her leg. I kept trying to get her attention but for some reason I’d been worried about sounding rude.
On my third walk around the zoo, at about 12 a.m. I saw Leila again, who I’d been noticing more and more often. She never looked interested in talking, only walking through the enclosures, and by that I meant any and all of them. She didn’t seem to have a favorite. I assume that however much of her mind that was left over from being alive still gravitated toward looking at the animals, since getting too close was what killed her in the first place.
Then, in enclosure eight, I saw a new creature and stopped abruptly. This one looked chill, but I wasn’t about to make any assumptions. It looked unique in a strange way, shaped like a giant lizard but built like a big cat of some sort. It had an uncanny valley human face, green hair for a mane, and also a horn like a unicorn. It felt like something drawn by an imaginative five-year-old brought to life, but was still somehow oddly endearing.
“Hello,” she spoke, noticing me noticing her. Her voice was distinctly female and oddly deep.
“Hello,” I responded with false cheer.
She pushed herself to her feet and I took an instinctive step back, but she seem to notice, much less take offense. “You’re the guard here?”
“Yup. That’s me.”
“Thank you.”
I blinked, taken aback. “Ah…you’re welcome. For what?”
She cocked her head. “For guarding me.”
That was different. Most of the impressions I had gotten from the animals so far were that they wanted to eat me. And the idea that this one was thankful for me doing my job was refreshing, don’t get me wrong, but made me wary. Call me a cynic, I guess.
“My name is tàiyang. You can call me Sun,” she told me.
“Hi, Sun. I’m Ripley.”
Then she looked toward the sky. “It’s going to rain tonight.”
After a thoughtful moment, I asked, “Does that make you sad?”
“Why would it make you sad?”
I smiled. “Because your name is Sun.”
She paused and then said, “I don’t understand.”
Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, telling a pun to one of the animals. “Never mind.” I glanced up at the sky. “I thought the rain is supposed to stay away from here. Are the ones who told me that wrong?”
“Yes.”
“Well that’s good to know,” I murmured to myself, thinking of my raincoat hanging in the security office closet. It wasn’t that surprising, honestly. Sometimes I felt like the meteorologists in Arkansas try to read the entrails of goats to figure out the weather. It’s all a mess and it’s all made up.
At that, the animal looked to the sky and fell silent. She appeared to be the most uneventful introduction I’d had so far, and I was incredibly grateful for it. Except then the animal kept talking. “He’s under a spell.”
I blinked. “What?”
She looked back to me. “Andrew. He’s under a spell. He’s very unhappy.”
I had no idea how to react to that. For a second I just stared. The sudden jolt of being told my boss was currently being afflicted by magic left me floundering. “He… What?” I finally asked. “Where is he?”
“In his office.”
Oh shit. My eyes instinctively darted in the direction of the main office. I always just entered through the door on the west side of the building, of course, since it led to the security room. It was unnecessary for me to go through the door that first led into the lobby-slash-office Andrew worked out of. Sometimes he even left early, so it was locked anyway. I had the key, but again, it was unnecessary.
Whatever had happened, assuming this animal wasn’t joking around (she seemed completely serious), I needed to establish whether she was right. Leaving the enclosure of the animal I’d just met, I quickly walked back to the small building.
Taking a deep breath, I knocked loudly. “Andrew, are you in there?”
The only reply was silence. I stood there until enough time had passed that it was obvious that no one was coming to answer the door. Taking out my phone, I dialed his cell number and wait as it rang. Then I grimaced when I heard it ringing inside.
Hanging up and shoving the phone back in my pocket, I stared at the closed door.
Trying the doorknob, I found that it was unlocked, and my heart skipped a beat. Andrew always locked his office before leaving. Opening the door slowly, the lights were off in the room, leaving only the faint red glow of the lights outside peeking around his curtains, so I turned on a light. Then my heart plummeted into my stomach, because there was Andrew, splayed limply on the ground, his eyes only half open.
I bolted to him and dropped to his side as he let out a whimper.
“Andrew,” I said, putting two fingers to the side of his neck. He remained silent, and despite his relaxed, wilted appearance, his heart was racing, and I wondered if he was in pain. The room smelled, and it was clear to me that he’d lost control of his bowels. I couldn’t believe I’d been working here for hours without knowing he was in the next room like this.
“Fucking hell. I’m so sorry it took me so long to find you. Can you hear me? What happened?” He made a small sound, unfocused eyes attempting to meet mine, but it was as if he were severely deprived of sleep or something, unable to focus. His mouth opened and he tried to say something, but he couldn’t speak. All I got was halting words mushed into each other. I felt for him; he must’ve been mortified by his condition. I would’ve been, at least.
The obvious solution would be to get Suzanne’s number from Andrew’s phone, so I searched him for it and found it in his right jacket pocket. I pressed the button the iPhone, swiped, and let out a sigh of frustration. He was security conscious enough to lock his phone with a code, of course.
“Can you… You can’t tell me the code,” I said knowing. He grunted quietly.
“What happened?”
I shrieked and jumped to my feet. Leila stood in the doorway, staring in shock at Andrew’s body. “You scared the bejesus out of me,” I exclaimed. I stopped myself before asking if she could make some noise when she moved or if I could put a bell on her. “What does it look like happened? Someone put a spell on him.” Abruptly, my stance changed, standing up straight. “Wait. Do you know how to get in touch with…anyone?” I asked desperately.
“I know Ms. Cooper’s phone number,” she said frankly.
My eyes widened. “Seriously? How?”
“Andrew gave it to me after I worked here for three months.”
That stopped my brain dead in its tracks. “You…used to work here?” I whispered. I remembered Andrew telling me that one of the night shift managers had been killed, but he hadn’t told me it was Leila. Whether it was for her own privacy or her dignity or some other reason, it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that I could call Suzanne.
“I worked here for three months,” Leila confirmed as I took out my own phone.
“Okay…what’s her number?” I asked, ready to dial. She rattled off the number and dialed it.
The phone rang twice times before someone answered. “Hello?”
“Hi, is this Suzanne?”
“Yes, who’s this?”
She had a British accent like Andrew did. I took a deep breath and said, “It’s Ripley Mason. I got your number from Leila. I’m here in Andrew’s office and he’s in really bad shape. Someone cast a spell on him and it’s like he’s lost control of the part of his brain that lets him move around and speak.”
“What?” she snapped. “What happened?”
“I-I don’t know,” I said, glancing back to Andrew. He actually looked calmer now, and I hoped that was because he knew Suzanne could fix this. “I was doing my rounds and I met Sun; she’s the one that told me and that’s why I came into his office. I don’t- Who would do this? What do I do?”
“It’s okay, Ripley. I’ll leaving now and will be there soon,” she told me. I heard rustling in the background, the sounds of getting out of a chair and footsteps. “Did you check the security cameras?”
My eyes shut in irritation against my stupidity. It hadn’t even occurred to me. “I’m sorry. Of course, I’ll do that right away.” Proof positive that I was completely out of it. Some security guard I was, not even able to keep my head in an emergency.
“Don’t apologize, Ripley, you’re quite within your rights to be discombobulated at the moment,” she said. “And I’d like you stay with Andrew, but I would prefer to know what happened. Leave his side just for a second to check the footage.
“Okay.” I crouched down to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” His eyes flicked to me, but he didn’t make a sound. Getting back to my feet and walking over to the security room door, I went in and sat at my desk, putting the phone on speaker so I could more easily navigate the footage.
After fidgeting around with the unfamiliar aspect of the program, since I’d never needed to look back before and Andrew only showed me how to do it once, I finally went back to the point where the spell had been cast. “Okay, he walked into his office with two men at…4:08 p.m. and it looks like he was fine with it. He wasn’t under duress, from what I can see.”
“That’s likely Michael Wise and Eric Henry,” Suzanne told me. “They were allegedly making a donation, a herd of Bagot goats.”
“Allegedly?”
“Well, I’m operating under the assumption that they lied if Andrew is spelled.”
I grimaced. That was a good point. Watching them have a conversation, I saw Andrew tense, and then turn to dart toward his desk, but he only made it two steps before one of the men raised what looked like a wand, snapping it in my late boss’s direction, speaking something. As I saw Andrew’s body seize like he’d been hit with a taser and collapse, I hissed in a sharp breath. “Cripes.”
“What is it?”
“One of them had a wand,” I managed. “He-He did something with it.”
“I’m here, Ripley. Come back to the office.”
My eyes widened and I did as I was told, stunned to see her opening the front door. “How did you get here so fast?” I asked.
The woman gave me a small smile, rendered grim by the situation. “Call it a trick of the trade.”
“Oh. Gotcha.”
Suzanne was all hard edges, her pin-straight blond hair cut at an angle just below her ears, and she wore a smart blue pants suit with matching pumps. But then she looked to Andrew and her face softened, despair and fury flashing across it as she quickly walked to him and knelt at his side, taking his weak hand in hers.
“Oh, Andrew,” she whispered. “I’m so, so sorry. You’ll be okay. I already texted a healer and asked her to come by. A friend of mine named Janine.”
I looked back to Andrew’s face, his eyes open and his expression one of exhaustion, but then quickly looked to Suzanne. “Why would someone do this?” I asked.
“I have a feeling at least one of our animals is missing,” she told me, her voice low and hard.
Anger flared up in me. “What?” I asked tersely. I glanced back in the direction of the cameras. “Should we check the cameras to see which enclosure they went to? Do we- Are there cops you can call for this? What do we do?”
Suzanne’s face slowly faded to sadness. “I’ll take care of it,” she said. “You’re accurate in that I do have a different police I’ll call about this. But there’s a good chance we won’t get the animal back.”
“Wait, why? Come on, there’s got to be magic you could do, right?” I asked anxiously.
“The animal will have been warded and sold to someone immediately,” she explained. “They would’ve had a buyer set up, and gone straight there to reduce the risk of being caught with it. Anyone who is buying an animal like this is extremely powerful, which means that even if we catch the men who stole it, they’d go to prison, but they wouldn’t risk angering the buyer. They won’t tell the authorities who it was, even for a lesser sentence. Losing an animal to robbery has only happened twice in the zoo’s history, this is the third time, but that’s how it played out both times. Actually, in the first instance, the police didn’t even catch the people who took it, since they were wearing masks.”
Just then, there was a knock at the door, and Suzanne pushed herself to her feet, walking over and opening it without hesitation. “He’s in here.” I took the opportunity to open the windows and turned down the thermostat so it would start displacing the smelly air.
A woman walked in, Janine presumably. “Oh, goodness,” she breathed, going quickly to Andrew. She took his pulse with one hand as she pulled a wand out from her purse with the other. “It’s good he’s staying calm. Redire orior can be terrifying to be subjected to.”
“He wasn’t calm when I got here,” I told her quietly. “I’ve been here for hours and didn’t know he was here until just a few minutes ago.”
Janine swore softly. “All right. Let me get started.”
I didn’t know what that meant, so I turned to Suzanne. “What did she call this?”
“The spell is ‘redire orior’. It’s a regression of part of the mind, basically all the way back to when we were first born,” she said tightly, anger flickering across her face. “He has no more control over his body than he did when he was a newborn baby.”
I grimaced, looking back to him. “Oh my god,” I whispered. It meant exactly what it had looked like when I’d walked in: Andrew had been rendered completely helpless. Rage welled up inside me, despising the men who’d done this and wishing desperately that Suzanne had been more confident in finding them.
Suzanne took the opportunity to walk into the security office and I heard her sit in my chair. Janine put down her wand to have both hands free and told Andrew, “Just relax, concentrate on breathing slowly,” she said, carefully pulling both of his legs out and rolling him onto his back. She then put his arms at his sides and, picking up her wand, pointed it at his forehead.
I took in a sharp breath of surprise as I saw a faint glow coming from the wand, through the top of it and then to Andrew’s forehead. She held that position for a while, muttering under her breath.
A few minutes later, Suzanne came out and took her phone from her pocket, saying, “I don’t recognize either of the men in the footage. But they seemed distressed, particularly the one that didn’t hurt Andrew. I don’t think that’s what was meant to happen.”
“Meant to or not, it happened,” I muttered through clenched teeth. I’d already decided that my new to-do list every day included first checking the office cameras.
“Andrew,” Janine said, letting the glow fade. “Can you speak?”
“I…yeah,” he whispered.
Suzanne came over to my side. “Thank goodness. How are you feeling? How’s the vertigo?”
“Pretty much gone,” he said, closing his eyes for a long moment, though he didn’t try to stand up.
“Andrew, I pulled up the cameras in the office and listened to the audio,” she told him. “I know what happened.”
My eyebrows furrowed. “The cameras have audio?”
“It’s under admin privileges, but yes. Andrew, you should have known better,” she said softly, looking back to him. “The gun in one of the desk drawers? I presume that’s what you were lunging for, because those two men had just made it clear they were here for an animal.”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I just…” He looked distraught.
“They told you to just let them get what they came for,” Suzanne said. “Why didn’t you?” My lips parted in shock.
“The last time this happened, I cooperated, but…I regretted it,” he growled. “We never saw Harriet again. I couldn’t just stand here and let them do whatever they wanted. Not again.” I assumed Harriet was one of their animals, but I didn’t ask.
“Don’t ever do something so foolish again,” she told him, on the verge of being upset, her emotions likely tempered by his condition. “I want to make it clear to you that this job, these animals, they’re immensely important, but they are not worth your life. He could have killed you. If someone gains access to the zoo again to steal an animal I want you to cooperate fully. Understood?”
“Yeah,” Andrew muttered.
The idea that Andrew had tried to bring a gun to a wand fight was staggering. Something heavy curled in my stomach at the thought. It was clear he cared about the wellbeing of the animals to a degree I hadn’t comprehended.
Janine took one of the small pillows from the couch and tucked it under Andrew’s head as Suzanne continued. “All right,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll go through the footage to determine what they stole and then call the authorities to report the theft. Janine, can you continue to treat him?”
I wasn’t sure what that entailed, but Janine apparently did, since she nodded and knelt back down as Suzanne went back into the security office. Janine did the same thing that she’d done before, that soft glow channeling light into Andrew’s head. Obviously, I wanted to ask what she was doing, but I knew better than to think I’d get an answer. Instead, I sat in one of the loveseats in front of Andrew’s desk, turning it to face them.
I heard Suzanne’s voice faintly speaking to someone on the phone and the minutes ticked by. Eventually, Suzanne came back out again and she stood next to me for a long moment, watching the healing process before turning to me.
“Andrew told me you were attempting to create some enrichment activities for the animals?” asked my boss.
“Oh, uh…yeah, I am,” I answered. I assumed she was trying to make small talk to distract me from the current situation, and I appreciated it. “The first one went well. Spike loves artichokes, pecans, and hazelnuts. I went with things that made it a challenge to eat, like it’s a challenge to pull out fingernails of its prey.”
Suzanne’s expression brightened just enough for me to notice. “Ripley, that’s wonderful. Very clever.” She let out a breath. “It’s becoming more and more obvious to me that Andrew chose well in hiring you.” I gave her a small smile. “Listen, I’m going to hire someone else to be here with you on duty,” Suzanne told me, “and by that, I mean someone from my neck of the woods. Andrew explained that to you, correct?”
“Not much. Just that you’re not from Earth.”
Suzanne smiled. “That makes me sound like an alien, but yes, I’m not from this dimension. I can hire someone who has similar abilities to mine, who can check in every few hours, make sure everything’s all right, but generally make themselves scarce unless there’s an emergency. He wouldn’t have been able to do much if he’d already been here, but he’d have known what was going on. Andrew would have received assistance immediately.”
I was curious of what those abilities were, aside from being able to see the animals, but I wasn’t bold enough to ask. Also, I was curious about who this new ‘employee’ would be, but presumably I’d find out sooner or later. “That would make me feel a little better,” I said, nodding. “Knowing there was someone else here.”
She nodded once. “It’s as good as done, then. As for Andrew, he’ll need to take a few days off to recover. Would you be willing to give the tours until he’s back in ship-shape?”
My eyes bugged out of my skull. “Wait, what? I can’t even see all the animals!”
Suzanne chuckled at my expression and shook her head. “I can enchant a pair of specs for you to wear,” she told me. “It’ll give you a bit of a headache, but you’ll be able to see all of the animals. Also, I’ll give you the background for each of them, because you’ll be speaking about them to the tourists.”
I blinked, thinking of how awesome it would be to finally know all about them all. And it was flattering, the fact that she had such confidence in me that, without hesitation, she asked if I could take over for Andrew. The best thing for me to do, of course, was to be confident and assure her that I could take any temporary promotion in stride. “I’m…I’m not great with people,” I managed.
Yup. Nailed it.
“You can be a little harsh with them if you need to,” she said with a small, knowing smile. “I assumed that signing up for a job where you interact with a screen of cameras the whole time means you aren’t great with people. And Andrew did brief me on you when he hired you. How good are you at couching your insults in polite talk? The British are quite skilled, but I know Americans aren’t too bad at it.”
I smirked, remembering how a coworker friend of mine once told a customer, “Oh, bless your heart,” in her thick southern accent and it sounded like the worst insult. “I can manage that, I think.”
A buzz from the gate that went to the panel on the wall drew our attention and Suzanne walked over to let the visitors in. It was three people, a man and two women, with a gurney.
Walking over to Andrew, I folded my arms with a small smile as Janine released his head from the glow the wand was emitting. “Hey. Sorry you had to lay on the floor for so long knowing I was cluelessly reading a book in the next room.”
“Eh, not the end of the world,” he whispered. “I’ll be back on my feet soon. So, no parties while I’m gone.”
I snorted and my smile widened, and he returned it.
Going back into the security room, I pulled the system back to the multi-camera exterior view, and I sat there and listened to Suzanne talk to one of the medics, explaining everything that had happened in detail. Once she’d done that and they brought Andrew outside on the gurney, presumably to a waiting ambulance, I gave my statement, and then…it was back to work.
Obviously going back to work like nothing had changed felt weird, but Suzanne stayed, letting me know that she would get some work done at Andrew’s desk until my shift was over. It was likely the opposite of necessary, the robbers were gone, but it did make me feel a tiny bit better knowing that she was in the next room with her wand.
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So I’ve been eating eating gluten free for years. I used to take gluten-aid because I was gluten intolerant but eventually they stopped working and all gluten food made me really sick so I cut it out. Over the past 3 years I have become painfully careful about gluten. I won’t even kiss my husband until he’s brushed his teeth after eating gluten.
For example, I had a piece of dumpling dough on my edamame one time. I simply removed it thinking I’d be fine. About 20 minutes later I started feeling nauseous, couldn’t stop burping, and began bloating. Another time I felt randomly “gluten nauseated” (which always feels different from a regular belly ache nausea). We did a ton of research and looking back on what I ate only to come to the conclusion that the cough drop my husband had is what got me sick since he kissed me while having it in his mouth.
I have every symptom possible. Diarrhea, bloating, nausea, vomiting (if I’ve had enough but I got used to keeping it down in high school until I realized what it was), headaches, hard to think/confusion, body aches, tired even after sufficient sleep, etc. It’s hard to not gaslight myself into thinking maybe I’m just being dramatic and these things are actually happening and it’s not that bad.
When I first tried gluten free I did it for 2 months. Right before then I’d dropped down from 150 to 125 even though I was eating like a horse. Had an endoscopy done twice as well and they said they found nothing wrong.
Fast forward to now and I just had bloodwork done and an endoscopy. My doctor told me that if I’m that sensitive I shouldn’t need to do a gluten challenge and so I didn’t before all of this. Even though I’ve been carefully gluten free for 3 years. Everything came back negative. He says since it’s negative there’s no need to do the challenge and therefore retest. I’m so frustrated and again beginning to wonder if maybe I’m being over dramatic or it’s really not that bad. I don’t know if I should go to another doctor and try to get a second opinion and do the gluten challenge or what. The idea of eating gluten makes me anxious because how I always feel afterwards. Maybe it’s just gluten intolerance and I just have bad reactions?
Is anyone else in this position or has been and has any advice? I feel at a loss of what to do next.

Originally for TT: Sunlight, where we were challenged to write a story in the universe of another writingprompts author
Set in the universe of 'Perry the Parasite of a Perilous Planet', a SEUS serial by Zetakh
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
When I woke up, there were three voices in my head, one more than usual.
"Ow," said one thought. That was probably my mental voice, since it matched the throbbing lump on the back of my head. It turned out that alien rocks hurt just as much as those on Earth, which I honestly shouldn't have been surprised by.
"Your nanobots are stemming the bleeding. A foreign object remains embedded in your head. Medical treatment recommended." I recognized the voice of Alfred, my implanted AI.
"Oh dear, is that red stuff supposed to stay inside? I assumed the... leakage was natural." And there was the unknown voice, speaking with a level of confusion which immediately frightened me.
"Al," I thought at him. "My head is crowded."
"Skull fractures will do that," he reminded me. "Your brain is compressed at the moment."
"Oh, are those supposed to be one piece?" The strange voice asked, and apparently Al heard it this time, since my headache instantly became worse as he turned on our anti-intrusion countermeasures. The voice continued, "I'll just move that thing there, push a bit on that, and-"
A flash of blinding pain, then blackness.
When I woke up, two voices were arguing in my head, neither of them mine.
"...don't just play around with brains! Humans need those! If Mike dies, I'll hit you with such a nanobot swarm that your constituent atoms will never find their way back together again."
"Mike will be fine! Probably. Besides, what kind of guest would I be if I couldn't heal a piece of carapace?"
"It's a bone, you anatomical nitwit."
"Ow." Yep, that was still my mental voice. The throbbing was gone, although the constant ache was hardly an improvement, especially when it was joined by a burning pain on my face. Feeling rather like a third wheel in my own head, I still interrupted them. "Al, how long was I out?"
"You were unconscious for forty-two minutes, Mike, but then someone immediately put you back to sleep for another three hours and twenty minutes."
"I fixed your skull. You're welcome!"
I winced as both their voices seemed to have an echo to them, each armed with a pickax and trying to mine directly out of my temples. "I get the head pain, but why is my face on fire?"
"This planet lacks both an ionosphere and an ozone layer, and orbits an unstable solar body-"
"The sun's very, very hot here, and you've been laying in it! Apparently, your body's covering doesn't like that."
The most pressing question finally came to my addled mind. "Who are you?"
"I'm... I don't have 'names', but I'm here to help."
"It is an unidentified parasite-"
"Symbiote!" the voice interrupted.
"-parasite," Al repeated. "It entered through your head wound, grew tendrils through your brain, and is using direct neural stimulation to speak with you. I am preparing nanobot countermeasures. It is currently burrowing towards your face as well."
As Al spoke, I stopped feeling my face. It was a nice break from the sunburn, but raised sudden, new worries at the same time. "I think it got there."
"I did!" Came the perky voice. "Some horrible person put these long, stringy things up to your skin which were hurting you, so I got rid of them!"
I was still trying interpret that when Al asked, "Did you disconnect Mike's nerves?"
"Um... what's a nerve?"
"He needs those, reconnect them immediately."
The pause was deeply worrying. At last, it said, "They didn't seem that important, and I was really hungry."
"...Activating nanobot swarm."
"Wait! Give me one moment and I'll..."
As I fell back into unconsciousness, I only hoped I'd wake with the same number of body parts, and approximately the right number of mental voices.

I kind of waited for the right moment until my body calmed down. So I could eat something and see what happens. And what occurred seems to be like a chain of events, from one thing to the next.
So typically when I eat a meal, I'd notice my left side get tight or like a pain. Almost as if there's like a blockage. Then I'd notice other issues Ike my throat would get swollen like as if food is hard to pass and I could feel food trying to come up. I also notice I get this pain in my chest, not like heartburn tho. But more like as if something is pushing up on it, mist likely food I'm guessing.
Then things like brain fog, headache, bloating, losing hearing and train of thought occur. Still would feel this tightness in my throat that doesn't disappear with drinking water and I'd feel this lump like food is stuck. Not sure if this is one of the reasons for my candida or not. But on a day to day it's a hassle that brings on uncomfortable feelings, irritability and disrupting my body functions. And it's making me more stressed to even eat now, thinking maybe I need liquid foods or something.
Do you think a doctor would be able to scan my stomach and see what's wrong? Or does it sound like maybe I might need like a colonoscopy? Because there's multiple issues at hand with my health besides the candida, that need to be addressed. To fix everything as a whole it seems.

just as the title says i just want some help finding answers if i can. ive been dealing with health issues since i was about 12 years old, it started as stomach issues and progressed to daily headaches. im turning 24 this year and within the last 5 years my overall symptoms have gotten worse. my skin itches all the times and has for years, its sometimes so bad i make myself bleed and have constant scab on my legs and arms/ scars from scratching all the time. i have really intense brain fog/fatigue constantly as well where i cant even go up amd dowm stairs or take a shower without needing a break. my arms and shoulders hurt so bad i can barely sleep, i used to sleep on my side but hurts my arms, even when on my back. i get so unbalanced just walking or standing that sometimes i almost fall over and have to catch myself. i get really bad stabbing pains all over my body but mostly my shoulder and this one spot on my back near my neck, that spot near my neck on my back is also completely numb most days that when its itchy back there i cant even feel myself scratching it and its frustrating. i barely sleep because my body is in so much pain. i get bad brain fog, i get really bad muscle spasms and my muscles hurt so bad sometimes i cant sit still. i have eye problems, my eyes hurt so bad sometimes i cant look around or blink and my eye will be completely blood shot plus i get really bad headaches. my joints and body just hurt all the time. ive been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and endometriosis but sometimes i worry it could be more and sometimes i just want it to be so i can find a treatment plan. most doctors are clueless though and dont know why my pain is so bad. im currently being tested for MS and EDS but just wondering if anyone who has fibro or MS can let me know how your experience was and your symptoms? i just want to know whats wrong with me so bad and just feel better.. im so tired after 12 years

Hey everyone. 46M. Newly diagnosed with diverticulosis, after recent ER visit, CAT scan and 3 nights in hospital. Complex with abscess. IV antibiotics in hospital, then 7 days oral at home.
That was 4 weeks ago. Feeling better now, slight twinge/ache in lower left now and again, but not pain per se.
Have been eating fairly well and exercising regularly last 5 years. Prior 15 years ate like crap, didn’t exercise almost at all at times. Have drank alcohol regularly, sometimes heavy throughout. I think that I’ve probably had diverticulosis for years unknowingly. Went to Cancun for vacation week before the attack, got a wicked stomach bug and my hunch is that triggered the attack and thus the discovery/diagnosis. Who knows.
Anyway, since the attack and hospital stay, have done a lot of reading, podcasts, reading through this group, talking to PCP, etc., all in an effort to avoid future flare ups, ultimately avoid surgery and generally just take gut health seriously…which I have never really done.
Based on research, have started the below supplements and would love to hear any thoughts…things that have worked, things that haven’t, etc. It’s a lot of stuff to take and keep track of, not to mention expensive, but willing to do it if it can keep this disease in check.
In addition to all of that, have been drinking a lot of water…basically have lived a dehydrated life up until now…and exercise 1-2 times a day, mostly stretching/body weight exercises and elliptical.
Any thoughts super appreciated!
Supplements
AM - L-Glutamine, 5 g powder with water - Magnesium Citrate, 135 mg capsule - Fish Oil, 2,400 mg capsule - GLA (Borage Oil), 1,000 capsule - Bifidobacterium lactis probiotic, 268 mg capsule - Prebiotic fruit smoothie pouch (Gutzy brand), 8 g fiber
Lunch - Magnesium Citrate, 135 mg capsule - Fish Oil, 2,400 mg capsule - GLA (Borage Oil), 1,000 capsule - Bifidobacterium lactis probiotic, 268 mg capsule
Dinner - Lactobacillius acidophilus probiotic, 20 mg capsule
Bed - Lactobacillius acidophilus probiotic, 20 mg capsule - Magnesium Biglycinate, 200 mg powder

Heya. So I've been trying to get out of my sleep just a few minutes ago, and there were tens of failed attempts to do this: after a nice afternoon dream I just wanted to wake up, then I realised I've been in bed, I tried to move intensely (usually it helps to make the body more active and change the position, grab a phone or do anything to wake up better), it was all good but then my eyes started closing back with severe sleepness increasing and I couldn't do anything but to fall into another several seconds of a weird dream. Then again, I got conscious, tried to wake up, being able like a hand to raise up, then my eyes close and here we go again. Then again some random small dream. Getting conscious, trying to wake up, realising I'm in bed and I'm moving slowly to wake up my body, then suddenly I hear and see my parents approaching me from both sides of the bed (which is impossible in my room), saying kind words and patting my head (which is even more impossible haha), then I realise it's fake, getting all my strength to move at least anything irl, moving like my arm and a finger slowly, then again, smth painfully drags me into being unconscious. Some random sound from anyone working, dropping something loudly at my house, a loud sound from the street could get me to the point of trying to wake up again but it all ended the same way: I could hear everything, sometimes even see (as long as I open my eyes) and move my body even changing my position from the back to the side or even stomach, but then I was quickly asleep again. Tens of scenarios come after that, I've been desperately trying to wake up but it was all useless, trying to shout for help but only few growling sounds escaped from my closed mouth. What else, each time I was being dragged back to the following small sleep it went really painful like smth similar to losing consciousness with a headache. After that it somehow feels like a sleep... leaving me with a headache for the following day and myself being really frustrated and sleepy so I can't study properly. As I'm just awake, I remember some of the details but they slowly fade away to the point I can't explain anything properly about this process while staying awake.
What is that? Why does that happen? What can I do? It's happening quite frequently lately (like almost each morning) and feels to me like ages: several times longer compared to the following time being awake at least.
P.S. I don't take any medications regularly, I don't smoke, drink alcohol, take drugs or anything like that, having a pretty healthy lifestyle.

Heya. So I've been trying to get out of my sleep just a few minutes ago, and there were tens of failed attempts to do this: after a nice afternoon dream I just wanted to wake up, then I realised I've been in bed, I tried to move intensely (usually it helps to make the body more active and change the position, grab a phone or do anything to wake up better), it was all good but then my eyes started closing back with severe sleepness increasing and I couldn't do anything but to fall into another several seconds of a weird dream. Then again, I got conscious, tried to wake up, being able like a hand to raise up, then my eyes close and here we go again. Then again some random small dream. Getting conscious, trying to wake up, realising I'm in bed and I'm moving slowly to wake up my body, then suddenly I hear and see my parents approaching me from both sides of the bed (which is impossible in my room), saying kind words and patting my head (which is even more impossible haha), then I realise it's fake, getting all my strength to move at least anything irl, moving like my arm and a finger slowly, then again, smth painfully drags me into being unconscious. Some random sound from anyone working, dropping something loudly at my house, a loud sound from the street could get me to the point of trying to wake up again but it all ended the same way: I could hear everything, sometimes even see (as long as I open my eyes) and move my body even changing my position from the back to the side or even stomach, but then I was quickly asleep again. Tens of scenarios come after that, I've been desperately trying to wake up but it was all useless, trying to shout for help but only few growling sounds escaped from my closed mouth. What else, each time I was being dragged back to the following small sleep it went really painful like smth similar to losing consciousness with a headache. After that it somehow feels like a sleep... leaving me with a headache for the following day and myself being really frustrated and sleepy so I can't study properly. As I'm just awake, I remember some of the details but they slowly fade away to the point I can't explain anything properly about this process while staying awake.
What is that? Why does that happen? What can I do? It's happening quite frequently lately (like almost each morning) and feels to me like ages: several times longer compared to the following time being awake at least.
P.S. I don't take any medications regularly, I don't smoke, drink alcohol, take drugs or anything like that, having a pretty healthy lifestyle.

No I am not suicidal, yes I am in therapy, yes I talk about this. But there will be talk about self-harm, in a masochistic-ish but not really type of way.
So I’ll start off by saying I have something called Neurofibromatosis Type 1. It’s a chromosomal mutation that affects the nerves. Basically tumors (called fibromas) grow on my nerve fiber, in addition to numerous other mental symptoms. (All these vary greatly from person to person) I’m some what lucky in that none of mine are visible. Little less lucky I have many of them deeper in my body.
They are on my legs, arms, chest, neck, head, hands, stomach… needless to say they can be any where from uncomfortable to indescribable painful. I have many wrapped around my intestines. These fibromas don’t like to move. Which the gut always is. Which causes pain, which cause inflammation, which causes more pain, and it just cycles on and on and on. This has nearly killed me three times in the past two years. Basically my intestines swole up so much the lining tore, and continued swelling and nearly tore themselves. As such I can’t eat a lot of food I use to love. No read meat, nothing acidic, no dairy, no salt, no wheat, no grease/oil/fat, and for the most part I can’t season my food or potentially experience a level of that I do not possess the ability to describe.
I have one at the base of my spine, and directly on my prostate. The one on my spine happens to crush a nerve that controls certain sexual functions and in effect I have zero sensitivity down there. I cannot climax. I can’t really do it the other way either because again, there is one on my prostate and even the pressure down there alone is already enough for me to feel constant pain.
The ones in my legs and arms occasionally cause me to lose control of my limbs. I’ve fallen down stairs, off my bike, almost crashed my car, broke things. While I’m not restricted from driving, it really isn’t safe for me to do so. I cannot walk long distances, because it can put strain on any fibroma in my body and really fuck me up. I actually have one under my right shoulder blade. Have you ever had upper back pain so intense that you limp? Or just can’t walk at all? Normally I’d just lay down. But I can’t. I can’t lay on my back it puts pressure on the nerve. Can’t lay on my sides because either way I’m either laying on the nerve, or if I’m laying on the opposite side the shoulder in pain isn’t actually resting. I can’t lay on my stomach because then the nerves in my stomach hurt much worse. I can barely sleep at all.
I can’t even go on a fucking walk. I can’t enjoy food. I can’t enjoy sex. I can’t go on a goddamn drive. I can’t work. The worst part is, when I let this shit get to me the stress inflames my gut. Which again, has nearly killed me multiple times in the past two years.
I can’t even allow myself the ability to be upset about this. There is no cure, there is no treatment to slow the progression. Pain killers do not work. Gabapentin helps, but is limited. Weed helps, but gives me crippling paranoia, so off the table. I’m 27 and my life is already destroyed by this and it’s only either going to stay the same or get worse.
Sometimes, when the pain is super bad I use pain displacement. As in, I hurt myself one way to stop feeling pain in another. I usually burn myself. It’s semi-less localized and fairly intense. I won’t describe methods or anything. After a while, I began to notice I liked hurting myself. It was fairly concerning to realize that. I talked about it in therapy. I think it’s less about liking pain and rather having the power to choose what pain to be in. I don’t want to put my partner through seeing me hurt myself for any reason. So I’ve stopped. It’s not really something I want for myself.
Again, I’m not thinking of doing anything stupid. I just needed to vent. Because this shit is a living torture. To know it’s only ever going to get worse is just… a lot. It’s taken so many simple pleasures away from me. Food, exercise, sex, sleep and fuck. Coffee. God I fucking miss coffee. I just want something that feels good. And it feels like I’m never going to get that.

So I started a new job about a month ago, and ever since I started working, I have had a increase in headaches. I’ve had about six migraines, which absolutely sucks because when I’m taking nurtec I’m dealing with horrible stomach pains for two days. While also most likely dealing with another headache, which I use OTC to help. But it’s like a 50-50.
Now, I am on a computer for almost 10 hours a day five days a week, I have been trying to convince my boss to let me work from home at least one day a week, because not only is the drive absolutely killing me. Even though it’s only 20 minutes, it’s just really hard on me because I’m not used to working this much. So it’s been about five years since I’ve worked a full-time job, this place has a starter up business. So I want to help out as much as I can, but I feel like I’m being cornered..
Fast-forward to the last two days, I am really trying to keep it together. I woke up with a horrible migraine this morning, thankfully, it’s going away after the medicine. I’m just gonna have to deal with an upset stomach later on, I haven’t heard anything from my boss, I asked him yesterday well technically I didn’t ask. I told him that I was staying home because of how my mental and physical health is, I just need a break, but would be more than happy to be online and still help out! It’s not that hard since we all communicate through that. And I can get all my work done here. (Now let me just note, that I will work an extra 3 to 5 hours when getting home which time around 11 PM.. so I’m definitely working and trying to catch up on things, so I’m not overwhelmed the next day. But I’m being thrown things that I don’t even know how to do, and when I ask about it, I get told that I shouldn’t be asking online because it makes me look bad. But when I try and ask in person, no one is there? So do y’all see where the stress is coming from a little bit?
I’m also trying to process the fact that a male colleague found me on Instagram the other day, and sent me a DM asking how they could see more “risqué” photos/videos of me.
I do professional modeling on the side, nothing sexual. Mainly glam stuff… I tried to pretend to not really understand what he meant in the message to see if he would be more specific. But he suggested that we talk off-line and in person. - so that doesn’t help with the headaches 😩

So this is my second dose. I injected 3 days ago (into tummy) and I have almost what feels like a fever? Body aches, feeling cold and the area that I injected is so sore and uncomfortable to touch. Like a weird radiating, numbing pain. I can’t lay on that side at all.
I have previously used Saxenda for a couple months but i have never felt this horrible. I mean fatigue is quite a normal side effect of glp medications but this feels like my body is fighting off an infection.
Any help? What can I take to make this better? :(

After one particularly bad infection, I peed on myself when I got out the shower, it was foul, orange and I couldn’t even feel it. I’ve dealt with an infection every month. These started to ramp up after I had a medical abortion- don’t know if it’s relevant but it’s where my body just kinda gave up. Constant rhinitis and frequent UTIs.
I have one right now, started midday, knew immediately I was in for it. The worst part is, I don’t really get that burning pain WHILST urinating anymore, instead it’s a constant burn on what feels like the very entrance to the urethra and an ache in my stomach and sides. Does anyone else feel this constant burn?
Last time I had a 10day antibiotic round after being told there was no infection and then a call the next day saying there was. I forget the name of the bacteria she told me it was, something starting with S and originally from the intestine or something.
I just want this to end.

My partner is currently tapering off of abilify. Her pharmacist also increased her Zoloft prescription and she is on Vyvanse as well. She took her first lowered dose of abilify and increased dose of Zoloft yesterday and has been unable to sleep, horrible headache, severe stomach upset/nausea and she is feeling very overheated. We knew the side effects would be difficult but it has been hard to get any helpful information from doctors, especially around what to expect as she tapers off. We are both wondering what side effects would be considered so severe that we should go to the hospital? I’m also wondering if there is anything that could help? Particular foods etc?

I have been with my girlfriend on and off for around 2 years. At first she chased me to be with me and it felt nothing was too much. Now it feels like we’re just friends living together. I would prefer sex 4-5 times a week. She says once a week is normal but it’s often less than that now. I always have to initiate and she often will start coughing randomly or come out with a random conversation if I start kissing her to avoid it. This makes me feel rejection to the point where I don’t bother now as I hate the feeling of been unwanted. It feels like she is always searching for external validation on social media. In the past this didn’t bother me but in the past before we broke up I found out that these men who were messaging her were some of the ones she went on to see after we broke up. I have addressed how I feel but nothing changes. Every night she is either too tired, has a headache, stomach ache or not showered. I would be grateful if anyone had any advice or had any experiences similar?

İ want talk alot but i have been always manefisting bad things i swear i have always been a faster manefister but guess what , Manefisting bad things , from couple of days or weeks i was worry about something who is called chickenpox , i saw a video girl Talking about it and i started worrying and thinking if it comes to me , then something happen else ,my mom was talking about chickenpox to her friends,and i started thinking again Then from two days my bones started to hurt me asf , i had fever the day after i had a weird pimple on my stomach and then i became more worries , i suspected it would be chickenpox then i went to the doctor yesterday and he said i have chickenpox , i swear the world felt like it's spinning i couldn't cry or do anything, i was in a shock, my exams are after tomorrow and idk what to do , i am lost , my face , pimples everywhere on my face , i want to cry because i manefist bad things in my life and it's not the first time
Another time İ was crushing on someone but started thinking like randomly, maybe he and that girl together and then guess what , it really happened they become together , i am really depressed and become more insecure about my face,my body and everything

I’m extremely upset about my situation for the last five months. I have lost the ability to fall asleep. My head is always wired, I am stuck in hyperarousal. I used to sleep so well, now I am constantly awake. I don’t feel drowsy or tired anymore or get that nodding off feeling. It’s like I am running on adrenaline 24/7 & it wont stop. I was sleeping fine prior to this, but this is killing me. Everything in my body hurts SO bad, everyday is so painful I am unable to deal/ carry out the most basic activities. It feels like I am completely debilitated. My body aches & burns all over, my head & eyes are so painful. I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy. There have been a couple of times in that 5 months where I have entered a quick dream/nightmare phase which has lasted no more than minutes. I literally do not get any sleep. My cognitive function is seriously impaired, I am only 30 & have my whole life to live. What will happen to me? Anyone have any suggestions where I can get help? The doctors don’t have any answers for me. Thank you.