Teaching for lovenox

I wanted to give all you lovely humans a super detailed update in hopes that it will help someone else who may go/is going through this. I had my surgery at 9am on 1/17 which was almost 48 hours ago.
Details about me and my diagnosis: I’m 39, 5’4’’, 250lb. I’m including this because recovery is different for different aged and sized people and I believe that’s important. I was diagnosed with PCOS years ago, multiple miscarriages, really horrible periods and suspected endometriosis for years but never had exploratory to find out if it was. Never had live children. Other health issues: Hashimoto’s, Fibromyalgia. Never had surgery before.
Last year I was diagnosed with an intramural fibroid that continued to grow. Because of the size, they couldn’t do a laparotomy or trans vaginal removal. So they needed to do an open abdominal procedure.
I’m a nurse and have been taught that if you lose your cervix, your libido may suffer and most women who have their cervix out usually end up with a bladder sling at some point later in their life. And I didn’t want to go on HRT yet, so I chose to keep my cervix and ovaries if possible. So they only took the fallopian tubes and the uterus.
They rescheduled the surgery once because my blood pressure was too high so they got me on BP meds and that didn’t work to bring it down, so they did it with my high bp. Good news about that: my blood pressure has been totally normal since the procedure! Woohoo!
I have motion sickness issues so they gave me a scopolamine patch. I highly recommend this! It helped me so much because of all the pain meds they had to give me.
The surgery and post: Sidenote: They had to cut my silver permanent bracelet off so I wouldn’t get burned from the electrocautery tool. 9am: The surgery went super well, about 1.5 hours. They found endometriosis but it didn’t infiltrate my cervix or my ovaries. Another Woohoo! When I went under I was scared, but the anesthesiologist was wonderful. He put the mask on my face and said, “Honey you’re gonna go to sleep now.” And I said, “Okay, goodnight!” And then I was awake in the PACU.
10:30am: This is the only time when it was horrible. The pain coming out of anesthesia was tremendous and the worst pain I’ve ever felt. It took them about an hour to get my pain under control. 100mcg fentanyl and 10mg oxycodone later, the pain was “low” enough for them to transfer me to my room.
12pm: When I got to my room, the pain was still rough. They gave me 10mg of morphine, 7.5mg norco, 300mg gabapentin, and 800mg ibuprofen. I was writhing in pain still, became nauseous. The nurse gave me an essential oil stick called “QueaseEase” and that helped a lot. Then the pain meds kicked in and I was out. The husband reports that every 20 mins or so I would wake up and writhe and moan then pass out again. The pain felt like cramping, which was really annoying because they took the uterus and I was like WHY AM I HAVING CRAMPS the ass hole organ is gone now! Lol
4pm: The nurse woke me up and I was feeling so much better. She got me up to walk and I walked just fine, although this part was pretty painful. Because I walked all the way to the bathroom, they took my catheter out, Woohoo! This was the turning point for me. I would sleep for about an hour at a time, but when I would wake up, I would get up and walk to the bathroom to pee. I peed twice, the bladder scan showed an empty bladder so I wasn’t retaining, which is perfect!
4am next day: I had slept for 3 hours straight and the nurse woke me up. I felt like I was coming back from a different universe, the sleep was amazing! And even more amazingly, I had zero pain. I was shocked by that. The pain came back after I started moving again but I was so happy to be having no pain after being in constant pain for so long in my life. Almost brought me to tears, I was so happy.
6am next day: The incision looked great. I felt better and better every hour and getting up was slow and difficult but worth it because I felt better walking. I was able to dress myself in my own pajamas and wash my face, brush my teeth, put yummy lotion on, put my jewelry back on, started feeling like a normal human again. This is when they put the tummy binder on.
It took 2 women to put the binder on and I felt like I was in 1592 being corsetted by my chamber maids, but I cannot recommend this enough. It felt SO much better when it went on. It felt more comfortable somehow. As if it supported me more, even though I didn’t realize before that I wasn’t supported. They closed the incision with glue and Ensorb Staples, which are absorbable staples, and they gave me a long lasting local anesthetic so at this point, I wasn’t feeling any incisional pain.
My vitals were all good, no swelling, bladder was happy, bowels were happy, so the doc discharged me at 2pm on 1/18.
When I got home, I needed to readjust my tummy binder. When I took it off the incisional pain was bad, the local anesthetic had worn off. But when I got it back on, it was so much better. This took two people so if you don’t have help, ask the nurse to teach you the best way to put it on by yourself.
Other Recommendations: Drink surgery prep juice the day before, have LOTS of protein the week before, take stool softener daily the week before, do stomach exercises and pelvic floor exercises for the whole month before.
I hope this helps put someones mind at ease. I am bouncing back fast and the surgery and recovery went really well. Although it’s going well, I want to keep it that way! So I’m taking it super duper easy and plan to keep it that way.
Thank you to all of you who responded to my fear post - You all helped me so much with your supportive words. I’m so happy you all exist and that I get to be your hyster sister ❤️
ETA: My family has a history of strokes so they gave me an injection of Lovenox - IT HURTS lol if you need this, just prepare yourself. It will hurt for 1-3 days. They also had sequential compression devices on both legs (the leg squeezy things) and I had to use an Incentive Spirometer. These things are annoying but totally necessary for a good recovery. Use them! Also splint your stomach with a pillow and get a good cough in every now and then. This will hurt, but again it is good to keep yourself from getting Pneumonia, Deep Vein Thrombosis, or a Pulmonary Embolism.

Ok that's a hair dramatic but I'm just so grateful for my husband today. My parents had us over to have dinner and teach my dad how to give himself injections at home. I'm a nurse, husband is a paramedic, my dad got prescribed IM injections (deeper than insulin or lovenox) at home now and wanted help learning how to give them (the pharmacist talked him through it and handed him a paper but, understandably for somebody who works in IT, he was not comfortable). We finish eating, start going over the basics with him and answering his questions, one of the dogs needs to go out and I go walk him outside. I come back in to my husband saying "here if you want I'll just give you the first one so you can see how it's gonna feel." And he gave my dad the shot, didn't hesitate, just went for it. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, this is stuff we do every day, but our vows only included "sickness and health" for US, not our parents too, he definitely could have let me do it, he definitely didn't have to offer, my dad wouldn't have asked him to do it, he probably wouldn't have even asked me to do it but I would have offered. When we got in the car I made sure to tell him thanks for what he did, he explained my dad seemed nervous still, was talking about how he wasn't sure how fast to push the plunger on the syringe down, etc so he offered to show him what it'd be like. I just feel so thankful for a this man, and I hope he doesn't feel taken advantage of.

Long winded, I'm sorry. Tl;Dr at bottom.
Background: I have been disabled (based on social security's decision) since 2010. I applied in 2012 and was approved in 2014. I am 26 years old and have no real work experience. I waitressed, assembled news papers, spun signs, and was a cashier at an antique shop. Most of these jobs were short lived and under the table. I started feeling unwell at about 16 years old, and by 21 I was having troubles walking unassisted by another person. Between 22 and 24 I was housebound aside from ER and doctor visits. Somewhere in 25 I started feeling well enough to go for car rides, sometimes go to stores (with my husband pushing me in my wheelchair, I'm not strong enough) and sometimes eat at the lake. By 26 I started working on my walking and I got 8 blocks one time (though I got stuck holding a stop sign at 1 a.m. and needed to be rescued but it's still a big deal). I have gone from fainting/ seizing up to 10x a day to fainting every few months. I still have waves of feeling incredibly sick but it's every few days for a couple hours but it used to be like that 24/7 almost. I am married and have an 8 year old son. My husband is also disabled but more capable physically than me. His treatments are very expensive. He's been denied by social security 3 times. Since I haven't been able to work I've been going to college online. I received my associates in health care administration and will be finishing my BS in environmental science in June. I'm immediately starting back up with a MPA program a few weeks after graduation and will have that finished in a year and a half. My GPA is 3.6. I can not drive and need a doctor to verify that I haven't fainted or seized in 2 years to have the option to drive. My husband drives.
ANYWAYS, after completing my current degree it would be possible to teach online. I have also thought about trying a desk job in a local government position. I also have a job waiting for me as a legal records clerk a few towns away but I don't find it feasible for me still.
There are 2 things concerning me with trying to lead a normal-ish life.
1) if my income goes up, I will not have Medicaid for myself, my husband, and my son. I could theoretically handle myself and my son but not my husband. He has to get 80 ml shots of lovenox 2x a day which is $1000 every 5 days. He also is on 2 other blood thinners and cholesterol medication. The other medication I should be able to handle fine. He has near constant specialists appointments also. I know there would be other insurance available but from what I can find they nearly all only cover a limited amount of his medication. It's typically used in a hospital setting. The longest anyone is on it is during pregnancy. He will be on it for life and HAS to have it. On only warfarin he had a stroke, acute pancreatitis, and a heart attack all in a 3 month period and lovenox stopped the clotting. I'm terrified on what to do in that respect.
2) what if I try and fail? If I'm not well enough to actually do what I think I can. I can't know without trying. I can't wait 2 years again to be approved. I don't even know if I could go a month. I'm supporting 3 people (me, my husband, and my son) on $750 a month, the max you can get in SSI where I am. I have no savings because of that. I know they have programs where your first $65 isn't counted and so on but what if I manage a few months, stop receiving benefits, then have to prove I'm still sick. I'm fairly certain it will be used against me: "how would you do xxx if you're so sick?". The judge asked me (over the phone because my doctor wrote a letter saying I wasn't well enough to attend) "well what would you do if your husband said 'let's grab a bite to eat?'". I kept saying he wouldn't because that's cruel but he told me to answer. I said that I might cry and say that he knew i couldn't. If they wanted to hold getting food against me, surely they would with working.
I need direction on what to do. I don't want to have my husband begging at the church for tampons for the rest of our lives, but it could be far worse without ssi, and beyond terrible if my husband lost his ability to get his lovenox.
Tl;Dr: I'm 26, disabled, on SSI. My husband has very expensive life sustaining medication he needs that is paid for by our Medicaid. I have an AA in healthcare administration, and will have a BS in environmental science June 4th, and will be getting my MPA in a year and a half. We have no savings as my husband, son and I live on 750$ a month and you're not allowed to have more than 2k in savings. I want to attempt working now that my education allows me to do less strenuous jobs (teach online, maybe local desk job) but I'm afraid of losing Medicaid for my husband's sake and I'm scared I'll fail because I'm still very much disabled, then have to fight again for SSI. Helppppp

This is going to be very long. I've tried to remember everything that happened and write as many details as possible, but I'm sure there's things I missed.
I was sent to a specialty hospital on August 26th for testing ~2 hours away from my home. They established that my baby was IUGR and had an intermittent absent flow from baby back to the placenta. They sent me to a children's hospital closer to my home for further testing, ~30 minutes from where I live. I ended up being admitted for the weekend and had to miss my baby shower which was to be August 27th. By Monday morning I was told that they would be keeping me in the hospital until the baby would be born and we were going to take things a week at a time and try to get me to 37 weeks at best (I was 31 weeks).
From here I'll break things down by day.
Wednesday August 31, 2016 - First thing in the morning my high risk doctor took me for an ultrasound to see what was happening with baby. Baby turned back head down (baby was breech the evening before), so that was good and everything looked the same as it had been; the placenta still had that intermittent absent flow and no growth for baby. But, baby was fine and the heartbeat was perfection. I thought that meant good news and that I'd get to keep cooking baby for another week or two at least. Then my Doctor said the sentence I wasn’t ready to hear. He wanted to get labor started asap because he would rather deliver my baby while healthy and not risk letting baby get sick. He told me to call my husband and have him leave work just in case things progressed quickly.
I called my husband and told him the news. We agreed he shouldn’t leave work right then, as it was only 8am, but that he would leave at lunch time. I took a photo of myself on my hospital bed with my baby bump showing, not realizing that would be the last baby bump photo I would get to take during my pregnancy. It's now one of my favorite photos. In the early afternoon my Doctor got the ball rolling on getting me ready for labor. I was given Cervidil to try to make my body dilate. Hours later they checked to see how dilated I was and it was just about 1cm. The medicine was working, albeit slowly. They took the medicine out so I could eat, shower, and be normal for a bit. My husband and I cuddled on a chair together, with him holding my belly, before they came back to give me another round of Cervidil. From there we went to sleep and waited.
Thursday September 1, 2016 - At 7am my Doctors checked to see if the Cervidil worked but I was still only 1cm dilated. So they started me on Pitocin to try and get labor going while hoping it would help me dilate. I never wanted to be the person who needed Pitocin but at 31 weeks pregnant, it's not like I had choices. The Pitocin was definitely working as I was feeling contractions. By 10:30am my contractions were ~2 minutes apart, but my body wasn’t dilating beyond 2-3cm. I made it to about 12:30pm without any pain medication but the contractions were getting too intense so I caved and asked for an epidural. I’d like to think I could have gone longer if my body had been naturally going into labor and not forced via Pitocin. I was never against getting an epidural but I wish I could've held off a while longer. The epidural itself was not nearly as painful as I was anticipating, but I was practically vibrating off of the bed in fear. I jumped a tiny bit when the needle went in my back but other than that it was just an uncomfortable feeling as they put the medicine and catheter in. The pain relief was wonderful and I felt less stressed out, but it was awful being confined to the bed.
Around 2:30pm my Doctors ordered for me to be on another magnesium drip for about an hour. That’s when things got really bad. I made it half way through the bag and then I started vomiting. I hadn’t eaten, so nothing was coming up but it was near constant retching. Thankfully my MIL was there because I honestly needed a mom around. She kept getting cold rags for me to put on my head and just "mothering" over me. I never wanted anyone with us while I was laboring, but I was glad she was there considering the circumstances. And I stayed sick like that well into the night. When the Residents checked to see if I made any progress as far as dilating, I was still 2-3cm. They turned the Pitocin down to a slow drip for the night so I could try to sleep. Which, I didn’t get much sleep because the vomiting kept coming in waves but I did eventually rest.
Friday September 2, 2016 - The day Phoebe was born! I was woken up early and they started slowly increasing the Pitocin every half an hour. After the little I sleep I’d gotten I was hoping I wouldn’t be sick anymore but my body had other plans. And unfortunately, my body wasn’t responding to the forced labor. I was definitely still having contractions, but I was not progressing as far as dilation. I kept vomiting, shaking, and by noon I caved and agreed to a cesarean. My body had been tortured enough; for just over 30 hours I tried my hardest for the "natural labor" that I wanted but it just wasn’t going to happen for me. Not at 31 weeks+6 days pregnant when my body wasn't ready. After I agreed to the cesarean I figured I would have a little time to cope with my decision, but I was wrong! They came in at 1:15pm and told me I would be going into surgery at 1:45pm. Everything started happening very quickly.
It was just my husband and my MIL there with me. My MIL braided my hair in pigtails while I skyped with my parents to tell them I was going into surgery. I never wanted my mom there more than in that moment. I'm grateful I was at least able to see them for the few moments I could. I wish my parents could have been there so badly. I could tell they were nervous for me and I was trying my best not to cry and just reassure them that I would call once I was out of surgery. Meanwhile, my husband called his dad to let him know that the baby would be there today and that we'd update him as soon as we could.
I was shaking uncontrollably again as they were prepping me for surgery. I was honestly terrified that I would be shaking so hard that when they cut into me I'd mess everything up because I couldn't be still. I'm so thankful it wasn't an emergency situation so I didn't have to be under anesthesia and my husband was able to be in the room with me. Having him with me made all of the difference. I was glad to have him to talk to during the cesarean, although we couldn't find much to talk about. I think we were both just waiting in anticipation of finding out what our baby was! I couldn't feel much but I could feel a little bit of tugging as they were pulling the baby out. It was the most awkward feeling I have ever felt but it didn't hurt. The moment I heard them say "It's a girl" I lost it and then I heard her cry and lost it some more. Phoebe Reese (Last Name) was born on September 2nd, 2016 @ 2:31pm. I was 31 weeks + 6 days. She weighed 2 pounds 9 ounces and was 16 inches long. I started sobbing and was looking around trying to see her. They brought her over to a table to my left side and my husband walked over to see her and take pictures of her first moments. It felt like an eternity before they held her up so I could see her, and when they did I just barely got a glimpse. A few moments later they had her bundled up and she was well enough that they brought her over to me and laid her by my side. My husband passed the camera off to one of the Nurses in the room so we could have a moment with our baby girl. She was the most perfect and beautiful little bundle I'd ever seen. My husband and I agreed after seeing her that her name would be Phoebe Reese (Last name). We were able to touch her sweet little face and I even got to give her kisses before they had to take her off to the NICU. My husband followed along with her and I was left to wait while they closed me up. That was the worst. It felt like hours were passing while they worked on me. Without my husband there I really didn't have anyone to talk to as a distraction. Some of the Nurses did make small talk with me but I can't remember anything that was said. And because the hospital is a teaching hospital I listened to my Doctor instruct and discuss with the Residents what they were doing, as they were doing it to me. That was unnerving.
Finally, I was wheeled out of the OR and into recovery. My husband was there waiting for me. He told me all the little details about Phoebe. He showed me the pictures he took of her on the camera and I did my best not to cry while I waited to be moved again, so I could hopefully go see her.
I asked the Nurses when we could see Phoebe and they told me I had to rest for a while because of the surgery, but that they'd let me see her soon. Soon wasn't until about 1:30am and we were both falling asleep, but the second the Nurse came in and asked if I wanted to see her I got myself up. I only managed to see Phoebe for about 45 minutes but it was the most precious 45 minutes I'd had yet. Phoebe was in her little incubator attached to all these wires and tubes, with tape all over her face, and settled in a nest of blankets. I couldn't hold her just then as I was in a wheelchair and barely functioning, but at the very least I touched her. We took some pictures and just looked at her tiny hands, tiny feet, tiny everything. It was hard when I had to go back to my room to sleep because I didn't want to leave her but I was so exhausted.
Saturday September 3, 2016 - This is the day where everything went to hell. I woke up feeling okay, showered, ate, and was preparing for visitors. The worst of it was my stomach hurt from the incision and my legs were the size of tree trunks from all of the liquid IV stuff they'd been pumping into me during my labor.
My husband and I went to see Phoebe a few times and that's when we found something was wrong with me. My MIL noticed I was short of breath when I took her to the NICU to meet Phoebe and so did one of the NICU Nurses. I brushed it off as just having had a c-section and being nervous that I was going to see my baby and possibly hold her. Then while I was skyping with my mom while in the NICU my mom told me I didn't look right. So I agreed I'd tell my Nurse when I went back to my room.
After talking to my Nurse I was set up to have an x-ray and an CT scan. One of the Doctors came in to deliver the news about my test results. I was told I had two PE's. My brain wasn't catching up and I was just blank for a moment. Then she explained that those are pulmonary embolisms and I knew that meant blood clots. I started hyperventilating and crying the hardest I'd ever cried in my life. I immediately started thinking I was going to die. The Doctor told me they were going to do an ultrasound on my legs to check for more blood clots or to see where the clots came from and that they would be moving me out of the maternity ward, away from my baby, and to another floor of the hospital where they could properly monitor my condition. I skyped with my mom and was trying to hold it together but I'd never been so scared in my life. My mom has had a blood clot before so I knew she would understand. I can't remember if my mom started crying too, I think she did, but she was trying to tell me to calm down and that it would be alright.
It was late when we were moved to the new room across the hospital and I was immediately started on an IV of Heparin. Then around 1am they took me to do an ultrasound on my legs. When we were taken back to my room my hsuband pulled the reclining chair up next to the bed and held my hand. I was still crying on and off, afraid I'd die at any moment. I knew what pulmonary embolisms were but I didn't realize how they worked exactly. So I didn't know that the blood clots had already passed through my heart to settle in my lungs. If I was going to die, it would have happened (well, it could have still happened because the clots could have damaged my heart and could still have damaged my lungs). But I didn't know that and I was just too busy panicking.
During those first few hours after finding out about the blood clots and all the emotions running through me is when I realized just how much I love my husband. I always knew I loved him since we were kids, but it hit me then that I was terrified of not growing old with him and him living without me. And when I looked over and saw his eyes bloodshot and could see him trying to hold it together I knew he was just as scared. I remember telling him that I loved him and that I was scared. I told him that it figures this would happen because I've been too lucky. How many people can say they've spent 13 years with the person they love since they were kids? And that we got to have a beautiful baby girl together. I felt like the universe had been too kind to me and that's why all of this was happening. Eventually my husband fell asleep and he never took his hand off of me the entire night. Unfortunately, sleep did not come easy for me because I was scared I would die in my sleep. That something else would go wrong.
Sunday September 4, 2016 - I finally got the results of the ultrasound on my legs and they didn't find anything, so that was good news!
A Hematologist came to see me. She told me that it wasn't my body that naturally produced the blood clots, it happened because of the bed rest for several days and then having major surgery. Likely the blood clots formed in my pelvis. She told me that I could come off of the IV of Heparin and just be on Lovenox, blood thinner shots to the stomach 2x a day. She mentioned another medication (I forget the name of it) and we were trying to decide which would be safest for me and the baby. She said if I could take the Lovenox and have my husband inject the shot then I could be moved back to the Maternity section on the hospital and be near Phoebe; that became my goal. Being free from the Heparin IV meant I could go to the NICU and see Phoebe. I had to wait to get permission from all my Doctors to go see her because I was no longer right down the hall from the NICU. Finally I got permission and was given a wheelchair to go in. My husband pushed me across the entire hospital (literally, I was moved to basically the furthest section of the hospital, ugh). This was the first time we were actually able to hold Phoebe. I had to wait 2 freaking days to hold my baby girl and it nearly killed me. When we returned to my room I had to pump and it was also the first time my body actually produced a little milk!
When it came time for me to get blood thinners for the evening there was a whole issue because the Hematologist changed the medication I was supposed to be getting to something else and we had a whole argument thing (well not me, my MIL argued for me while I was in the NICU). Finally I got the Lovenox shot for the first time and holy shit, it was the worst thing I'd ever experienced as far as shots go. I cried so hard because it burned so badly.
Monday September 5, 2016 - I don't remember much from this day. I know I woke up with my boobs leaking milk though and that I was super excited about it! Haha!
The Hematologist said that I could transition from Lovenox to Coumadin but it would take a few days for my levels to be therapeutic. She wanted to make we aware though that if I were to switch to Coumadin it requires weekly blood work and a strict diet of very little vitamin K. My mom took Coumadin years ago, so I was familiar with how it worked, and agreed that it would be something I could handle.
I finally got to have my first skin to skin time with Phoebe. I wanted that so badly after labor but with my having a caesarean, it just wasn't an option I was ever offered. It wasn't true skin to skin as I had a nursing bra on and a hospital gown pulled down around my neck, but it was the closest we'd gotten yet.
Tuesday September 6, 2016 - First thing in the morning my high risk OBGYN Doctor comes to see me and he did not come with good news. He basically told me that if I ever get pregnant ever again that I will have to take Lovenox shots in my stomach 2x a day throughout my pregnancy. And that if I ever have major surgery or get in an accident or anything, I'll have to make the doctors aware that I have a history of blood clots and I'd likely be put back on blood thinners. He told me that I absolutely could not breastfeed if I was going to take Coumadin and the Resident that was with him agreed. They left the room and I sobbed.
Then the Hematologist came to see me again and she told me that what my OBGYN Doctor said is not true, that I could be on Coumadin and breastfeed. She also said I may not have to go on blood thinners during my next pregnancy, that I could probably take baby aspirin and be fine. I had no idea what to think because I was getting two completely different opinions from both of them. Thankfully one of the Nurses I had was super attentive to me and wanted to help me get things figured out. She called the Maternity section and had someone notified that I needed to get my baby's birth certificate paperwork done and that I needed to speak to a Lactation Consultant regarding medication and breastfeeding.
The Lactation Consultant came and went over Lovenox and Coumadin with me. According to the book she had, Coumadin is actually regarded as safer during breastfeeding than Lovenox, and that confirmed my decision to switch. Had it said the Lovenox was safer I would have suffered through the shots every day for the sake of Phoebe. But being that the Coumadin is a pill and easier on me emotionally/physically than the agony of those shots, I decided it would be best for Phoebe and myself.
Thursday September 8, 2016 - Possibly the second most frustrating day in the hospital since finding out about my pulmonary embolisms. I had to stay another night because the hospital Social Workers and doctors were trying to find out if my insurance would cover a Nurse to come to my home and draw blood for me daily, so that I wouldn’t have to drive to the hospital. Apparently, the Nurse wouldn’t be sent out unless they’re administering the Lovenox and teaching someone how to do it. Which my husband already knew how to give me the shot. But the way they were describing it, it sounded like the Nurse wouldn’t draw my blood at home anyways… so I was confused as to why we were even discussing this if the entire reason for a Nurse coming to my home wasn’t going to happen.
The Nurse and the Social Worker were very pushy and kept suggesting that I just stay on the Lovenox because it’s “easier” (no dietary restrictions, no daily/weekly blood work) whereas Coumadin has those things. They were acting like my aversion to having 2 shots a days in my stomach wasn’t a good enough reason to not take the Lovenox. And here I am being concerned with which medication is better while breastfeeding, the fact that Coumadin is a pill and not an awful shot 2x a day, and that Coumadin can be reversed with vitamin K if I were to start bleeding too heavily – while Lovenox cannot be reversed. Yeah, Coumadin might be a bigger hassle but it sounds safer to me and considering I may be taking this shit for 3 months to a year… I’d like to not be stuck with needles and have a medicine that can be reversed.
Well, the Social Worker was royally pissing me off and I said that if this couldn’t be resolved that I’d rather deal with the damn blood clot than all this medicine. I was being sarcastic and angry, which she damn well knew because she was provoking me. The next thing to come out of her mouth almost made me slap her. She said to me "what if your daughter has a condition where she needs shots and has to go to the hospital, would you refuse to give her medicine or take her to the hospital just because you don't like those things?" I swear, it took everything I had not to punch the bitch. How fucking out of line can you get!? I told her that I would always do what's in the best interest of my baby and that everything I'd been doing was all for her. Well she didn't seem satisfied and then she suggests that I talk to a Psychiatrist because post-partum depression is more likely for me because of all I'd been through and how I was responding to her questions.
Next thing I know there are two young student-looking people in my room who work under the hospital Psychiatrist and they're asking me questions. They leave, I shower, and then the Psychiatrist shows up with the students. I basically get asked the same questions again (during the middle of all of this my MIL shows up) and the Psychiatrist, who practically loved to hear himself talk, ends the discussion saying that he thinks I'm just fine. That if I was to seek out counseling or medication because I believe I need it, that's okay to do. I tell him I'm just fine without more medicine to take and that I'm certainly not as incapable of handling myself as the Social Worker seemed to think.
I spent the majority of my day after that hellish morning in the NICU with Phoebe. Finally in the late afternoon I was given my discharge paperwork and set free! I'd never been so happy to leave a hospital before. The only downside of leaving meant being a 30 minute drive from Phoebe and not a walk down the hall, but I couldn't stay there any long for the sake of my sanity.
Being home for the first night without Phoebe nearby was hard. If it weren't for exhaustion I don't think I would have slept. We watched her on the live-stream camera setup by her bed so that helped a little. That camera is the best thing ever.
Friday September 16, 2016 - I woke up Friday morning feeling pretty crappy, but I had to go get blood work done and I wanted to see Phoebe because she turned 2 weeks old! (Her gestational age being only 33 weeks + 6 days). I'm glad I pushed myself to go because I finally had the opportunity to try and breastfeed with her! Phoebe naturally went to breast and knew what to do, which is amazing considering everything. Though, because she is so little she really couldn't get much milk out, I had to massage some out by hand for her, but she at least got the idea of how it's supposed to work. After feeding she fell asleep on my chest and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world.
I'm so sorry that was so long. If anyone read it, I applaud you. If you're just here for cute baby photos that's cool too! I just wanted to share my experience figuring maybe it could help someone else in the future. All in all I'm doing okay. Recovery from the c-section has been rough and being on blood thinners has done me no favors there. Phoebe is worth everything I've been through and she's really a little fighter. She has a few minor complications because she's a preemie, like anemia that might require a blood transfusion, and she has hypothyroidism that we're hoping she grows out of but otherwise she's gaining weight and doing well. We're hoping she can come home by the middle of October.
Baby Tax!

I still feel like making an introduction is going to jinx this, but I bet many of you felt that way too. I'm struggling with the friends I've left behind, even as I have no real confidence or peace in the place I'm at all. But the RE's office and perinatology are doing their best.
I'm a month from 38, my SO just turned 35. I got an RE referral in 4 months of charting and trying, when it was clear to my OB that my cycles were 50% anovulatory tracked, and my history off birth control for 5 years (I tracked periods) was consistently also crazy. We got an SA done in advance of our appointment (2% morphology) and got in at the beginning of cycle 6, so we got going with CD2 testing in the late night hours of the lab and started femara. Our first goal was IUI because his numbers weren't that bad and we had 50% insurance coverage.
That cycle I got a positive, but beta numbers were slow to rise and progesterone was poor as well. Things were already ending on their own when I had my ultrasound and found a blighted ovum, even though my body thankfully refrained from the cramps and bleeding until my mind had a few hours to wrap my head around it. My 'natural' miscarriage was over Mother's Day weekend in 2014. That was also when my AMH came back at 0.18. My next cycle I was ordered not to try but I did temp and we checked progesterone, and with the data from those two cycles, I joined the prometrium club. I did 6 more IUIs, which took over a year to do, because I had cysts between them all (cue my panic over taking BCP which I was never supposed to do again due to my blood clot), a cycle of femara+menopur cancelled because there was no follicle response, and one seriously delayed when lefty looked strong but petered and then righty decided to go more than a week after stopping meds. Meanwhile, between April and December my AMH dropped from .18 to .03, confirmed in Nov and Dec. In August after the 3rd IUI the discussion turned to donor eggs, and I finally got myself a therapist at the prodding of the IFclub. (Which I am mighty thankful for!)
My last IUI cycle in May/June involved 6 vials a day of Menopur (who cares? I met my deductible in Feb!) and I got one follicle, but it was 'on time.' 7th and last IUI before the clinic cuts us off falls on a Saturday, RNP works with me so I don't have to tell a bunch of people I barely know why this library event I'm supposed to host I can't attend, I pulled every muscle in my back the day before and I'm in agony before I even get up on the table all arched, and the washed numbers come back at 4.5m, they'd always been 10-19m.
I spent the next two weeks doing what I was doing before, looking at budgets to save for DIVF, looking at clinics, trying to decide what was important to me before I went looking at donors. We took the middle of that TWW to go camping in which my SO and I had a real heart-to-heart which was helpful, even though the money wasn't quite there to make DIVF happen (quoted $42K at my clinic, others were less but travel had to be factored too).
The following week I had a standing hike date with a friend (hiking was the hobby I picked up while dealing with IF, it was HOURS of distraction at a time, just what I needed, and my friend was a great ear) and I was out of tests, and I sure as fuck wasn't going to buy anymore and labs were free, so I stopped on my way out for the hike. I was prepared for this to fail. At lunch, I opened my email while waiting for lunch to discover the news. And while my progesterone was alarming and I'm now up to 800mg a day vaginally (thanks to all with my earlier question), it's gone up a bit, everything is doubling sub 40 hours, and my ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday at 6+5.
I am terrified of jinxing this, I'm terrified of a blighted ovum again, I clearly have the IFPTSD. I've had no symptoms, except if today might be called a symptom where a 5 mile hike was killing me. (Did 5.5 last Monday, no issues.) But today, I am here, and if I am not excited yet, I suppose that's ok.
I have APS/Hughes (primary, as I had a DVT and SVT in 2009) and perinatology has already been in contact and I'm on Lovenox already (so sad it does so much more damage than the menopur) and I am hoping to get through a few more weeks of this ridiculous weather before I have to back to wearing compression stockings beyond flying and long car trips. My IgM is what's elevated the most, which is the best possible one of the 3 for pregnancy, and I've had years to get used to it. A big part of delaying even trying revolved around my fears at the time, my clot was diagnosed 3 1/2 weeks after it started and if I wasn't such an advocate it might not have been until it was much too late. I was scared and it took a long time to be brave again. I also have insulin resistance with my DOR and metformin has given me so much energy in the last year I'm grateful to it and wished I got it earlier than my RE.
My hobbies are hiking and camping and perinatology is seriously in favor of hiking for the endurance and ability to back off if it's too much (did I just learn about that today?) and if anyone would like to give me tips how to keep on doing both as much as possible between now and October I'd love to hear them.
I have two cats, am a newly minted Master Gardener, I teach part-time (music) and work for an educational software company part-time. My SO and I have been together for 17 1/2 years, we first met and dated in h.s. doing a musical together, and we are one month from our 9th anniversary. And now I'll leave you with some hiking pics, and let's see if you can guess (if you don't know) where I live! (No cheating and looking up photo titles, but there are clues!)

Hi! Just found this sub and thought I'd introduce myself!
I got my first DVT in the first trimester of my pregnancy about six years ago. I did over 1000 heparin injections (3x daily for almost a year) before I was switched to Coumadin. I hemorrhaged in childbirth and gave back the full blood transfer they had given me in anticipation of that possibility. I became superthereputic multiple times and spent weeks in the maternity ward just laying there wait for my protime to drop. I had a full battery of tests done and was told I had no genetic factors and that pregnancy can trigger DVTs. I'm very fit and teach and practice yoga regularly. I never took hormonal birth control or smoked. I had zero risk factors. My doctor said that I just "got lucky."
Baby was born healthy and adorable! Six month later they took me off the Coumadin. Three months after that, I got a new DVT. Back on the injections and pills. This time they start looking for cancer. I cried as I held my small baby thinking that I might not be around much longer.
Nine more months of tests and treatment and they give me a clean bill of health. Cancer seemed unlikely and I was taken off of Coumadin.
Over a year passed and I thought my DVT troubles were behind me. Nope. New DVT in the other leg. This time they decide I'll be on anticoagulants for life. So, here we are, more than a year and a half since the third one and I'm still on rat poison.
I am certain I have post thrombosis syndrome (or whatever it's called). My legs swell, hurt and look so gross. I've used NormaTec boots to reduce the edema and they help a lot.
One question: did anybody else get sick from the Lovenox? I've been prescribed twice and both times I ended up feeling like I had had a chemo treatment: Indescribable fatigue, nausea, brain fog to the point of being unable to even function...
We'd love another baby, but we are scared of the rollercoaster. We'll see...