Kapangpangan

Growing in my area (pampanga), it was always natural for me to say “ho/hu” instead of “po”. Then again I never actually learnt how to speak Kapangpangan (pampanga dialect).
Example: “Alam nyo ho kung saan ho pumunta si Gerald?”

( Ofc you can skip at the drama part hahah proceed sa last paragraph) I tried to answer my questions kaso hirap din ako intindihin lahat idk why or shall i focus sa isa lang. So hi I am (20)M and my pov is crying and sadness as weakness pero ako mismo cry baby sa maliit na bagay maski pag nagagalit ako napapaluha ako and I know na iiyak na ko so I stop talking hihiga close my eyes and titigilan ko yung luha ko from getting out at minsan pag lumuha na ko I will act like inaantok so hihikab ako.
It all started when my mom is dying ofc everyone knows including my classmates tas yung isa kong kaklase di ko lang pinakopya nagalit tas sumagot ako kung baga away immature kasi g6 ako at sinabi niya sana mamatay na mama mo and ayun I stopped naiiyak na rin ako nun at pinigilan ko umiyak kasi its a sign of weakness. Eventually namatay din si mom ko. (Omg naiiyak ako but pinipigilan ko haha) so ayun dec 25 nagorder ng 3 malalaking pizza from dominos at masaya kaming magpipinsan up until na nailabas ng younger cousin ko that my is dying ayun pero my sibling acted like a child kasi di niya nagets so I figured na yun bilang na araw niya and kami na lang magkapatid ang di nakaalam so di ako makatulog nung pasko and galit na si papa pinatutulog na kami ng 9 straight. 3 hrs later nagtutulogtilugan ako at naririnig ko si mama na imiiyak habang sumusuka at suko na daw siya wanting yung pampatulog in short mercy killing ng di namin alam kasi ayaw niya kaming nakikitang malungkot??? Idk why then dec 31 new years eve bumili ng paputok para samin to keep us entertain pero nawala interes ko dun sa new year. Yay new year's na and nakasimangot ako tas last niyang message happy new year anak love you. Tas pumunta ako sakanya at masayang sinabi na pagalong ka ma ah then tumakbo ako sa cr at umiyak tas tinawag ako ng kapatid ko kasi fireworks na. So naghilamos ako para mawash yung tears ko and be w/ my sibling. After new year's eve ayun umaga sinabi na samin ni papa and we cried. 2 days ayun we cried at during libing I was forcing myself not to cry pero umiyak din ako pagsara ng kabaong at sinabihan ako nila kuya na antapang ko daw di ako umiyak tas asking me stupid question like nakamove on ka na ba.
So ayun 1 year later I was forced to cope from it dahil nagkaroon ng girlfriend si papa. Ni di man lang kami tinanong if ok lang kami basta lipat agad at ayun napilitan ako mag adapt sa bagong set up with my steps. Naging problema ko lang ay yung pinakamatandang step dahil nasusungitan niya kami even if wala ako ginagawa ofc may tagapagtangol ako yung middle step. Kakamatay lang ni mama so naninibago ako sa set up plus na bully ako my entire high school sa probinsya. Ofc may insight na ko lahat ng pinagaralan sa elem sa manila kaya may knowledge ako which para ako naging source so sa dami ng nangongopya nagalit ako and it backfired inaasar akong kulay takla but my response is laugh. Yes naiinis ako but mas naiinis sila . Time skip ulit pinaka malala na experience ko g10 nag simula sa teacher at pinagiinitan ako dahil sa kopyahan nanaman kahit na sila mirela and power puffs ang nagpapasahan ng sagot through folder. Ayun pinagalitan ako in kapangpangan at inaasar ako ng kaibigan ko at sinigaw na di naman ako nakakaintindi so ayun pataray nung teach sinabi na "bakit kasalanan ko" natawa sila at dun nagumpisa. Halos lahat ng kalokohan na trending sa tiktok ginawa sakin including aapakan ung phone, buhatin sa bayag(which they failed), 6 books na nga dala ko lalagyan pa ng kalat at bato tas yung itatali yung bag sa upuan. Binubuksan zipper ko and my response is sarcastic laugh na sabay sabi na ayoko na di ako nakikipagbiruan in a polite manner dahil napagtitripan ako lagi pero ang response ng pabibo kong kaklase na babae manahimik ka nga diyan ingay mo. Dun nag start ng lumuha pero pinipigilan ko umiyak kasi lalaki at g10 ako. D na ko nagsumbong kasi nagpagtitripan naman ako ng adviser ko eh. So patapos na ang klase and napatawag yung parents ko for the first time at napagalitan ng sobra at nagrounded ako for a month. Ito na yung mga sumunod na ginawa sakin sinulatan ng dick yung uniform ko, nagalit ako yes at tinangal ko sya sa project. Naiiyak ako sa kahihiyan at sakit ng kamay ko kahit nag washing na ko at dryer andun pa rin yung parang residue ng dick like drawing. Ayun nagiba habits ko to the point na lagi na rin ako nasisigawan ni papa kahit justified naman uwi ko ng late kasi traffic tuwing fro sa angeles dahil sa tagong church kesyo magbibisyo daw ako well in fact stress sa school at kakabuhat ng dumbbell mong members to the point na feeling ko nagsisinungaling ako kay papa kaya di na niya ko pinakikingan .Tas nung nalaman ni Rhed tinangal ko siya ninakaw niya powerbank at charger ko and few weeks later chinoke niya ko using my neck tie at hinigpitan niya. Red na ko nun and at that moment nalaman ko na wala pala akong kaibigan as in . Kaibigan lang turing pag may papaprint. As in wala maski isang nag untie ng necktie ko at pinagtatawanan ako ng two section telling me na bahala ka dyan idk nagpapanic na ko tas introvert kong kaklase pa tumulong sakin sa paguntie sinabi niya sakin pulang pula ka na at nagpasalamat ako dahil after a minute na untie niya. You might be wondering asan mga teachers well as usual kulang po ang teachers sa probinsya at laging may deped meetings kaya inendure as in yes naiiyak na ko but I dont know ayoko nakikita ako umiiyak
Every time na naliligo ako doon ko nalalabas luha ko at paglabas ko fresh at parang wala ngyari. Then pinalala ng pandemic and naging anti social na ko plus social media insecurities ayun nung nagbreak sina papa pinalayas kami one of my happiest moments. Nagkaroon kami ng matutuluyan sa compound ni lola at sa sama ng loob ko nagstay ako kina tita for 2 months w/o any communication kina papa o sa kapatid ko eventually nag stay din ako kay lola don sa kwarto after kong machill. All I need is to scream and cry it out pero saan at kelan ?? How would people react if biglaan ako umiyak at humagulgul Idk where to explain. Baka matawa lang sila sa oa at kadramahan ko

 (LAST) So last scream the aftermath lahat ng events na yan is causing me nightmares tuwing gabi malay ko bakit. Naiiyak ako ng tahimik tuwing madaling araw at minsan di na ko makatulog. At buong araw naiisip ko ginawa nila sakin para bang na rerelive lahat ng yan. I do not post sa personal kong socmed actually dahil maski isang event walang naging masya or memorable after mamatay si mama. Nakakalimutan ko na rin boses ni mama at itong mga events na to ang pumalit at naglalaro sa isip at panaginip ko. Alam ko naman na may videos naman si mama at pictures sa socmed pero di ako nasasayahan at bigla n lang din ako naluluha remembering a life I can never have. Hirap na ko bumuo ng thought. Ngayon coping is free naman so ayun bz sa online class. Ayun nakatulala sa plain colored na pader made me calm, I play ml and write short stories as hobby na minsan na boblock na isipan ko due to this biglaang nightmares na ngyari lang nong pandemic. Sabi nila never look backwards and keep moving forward so ayan ginawa ko but then pandemic at naalala ko to out of nowhere . 

Gumaang slight pakiramdam ko habang sinusulat to at nakikinig sa anti hero, chain to rhythm at exile . thanks hayssss

hi guys
I think it is bad since as a Kapangpangan myself I can say alot of people will have a Superiority complex.
Plus if you ask me what is Ilokano I will tell you it is an Alien language.
I think this is because so much of our traditional culture has been eroded by the spaniards and USA that the only connection to our past that we have left is our languages.
The culture is so eroded that if you look at how a 18th century Filipino Peasant dresses and you will see he dresses similarly to an 18th century Cuban peasant.

Since we are such a Multicultural people I would say the avreage Pinoy has a flair for language.
English - (Naitive) Pilipino - (Conversational) Waray - (Basic) Jeje - (h0k@Ge) Kapangpangan - (basic) Spanish - (conversational)

Hi guys, taking a break from dds, china and politicians for a while.
Pinoy in NYC here and the food that I miss the most is Buro na may kasamang Mustasa leaves and other kapangpangan food.

Hey guys I'm half Filipino and can speak fluent tagalog.
I want to learn Kapangpangan since tagalog is really not my language since my mother is Kapangpangan but speaks to me mostly in english.

I was talking to this on the weekend and she ended up talking about regional foods. one food she described was fried fish sauteed in tomato and onion then sauteed again in rice then fermented. i've never heard of anything being fermented in rice. i think she aid she was kapangpangan and this is one of their stinky delicacies. i'm curious because i want to try.