How much r roxy 30 s

Hello,
I am playing on a privately hosted E2E server with a friend of mine and me. My server here at home had an older CPU, but the Java process got 14 GB of RAM which did not help. Since I thought the CPU might be the issue I rented a Bisect Hosting server (budget, since premium does not seem to use other hardware, as far as I can tell). Nothing changed. As we were building up our bases we had more and more lags.
Currently the logs look like this, even when nobody is on the server: [09.06 12:26:48] [Server] [Server thread/WARN] [minecraft/MinecraftServer]: Can't keep up! Did the system time change, or is the server overloaded? Running 2630ms behind, skipping 52 tick(s) [09.06 12:30:35] [Server] [Server thread/WARN] [minecraft/MinecraftServer]: Can't keep up! Did the system time change, or is the server overloaded? Running 3100ms behind, skipping 62 tick(s) [09.06 12:35:04] [Server] [Server thread/WARN] [minecraft/MinecraftServer]: Can't keep up! Did the system time change, or is the server overloaded? Running 2407ms behind, skipping 48 tick(s) [09.06 12:36:36] [Server] [Server thread/WARN] [minecraft/MinecraftServer]: Can't keep up! Did the system time change, or is the server overloaded? Running 2235ms behind, skipping 44 tick(s) [09.06 12:38:05] [Server] [Server thread/WARN] [minecraft/MinecraftServer]: Can't keep up! Did the system time change, or is the server overloaded? Running 2263ms behind, skipping 45 tick(s) [09.06 12:38:54] [Server] [Server thread/WARN] [minecraft/MinecraftServer]: Can't keep up! Did the system time change, or is the server overloaded? Running 2141ms behind, skipping 42 tick(s)
According to the Bisect Dashboard there are around 300 Chunks loaded when nobody is on the server. There I think 6 Chunks force loaded.
The bases are heavily automated and we use a lot of EnderIO cables. Running spark with lags longer than 500 ms I got this result: https://spark.lucko.me/i0rK9Wz9VS We have ME systems paired with Storage Drawers and Oak Drawers. There are around 20-30 Garden Cloches (I disabled almost all of them in my own base by now).
We have Laser Miner, Void Miners as well which needs to be sorted, so we use EnderIO cables with whitelists to filter them.
As far was I can tell the EnderIO cables paired with those huge storage systems are the issue. But how can we avoid this? One of the goals of this pack is to automate as much as possible but we got to a bottleneck -- only with 2 players.
Any ideas how to optimize the server or the storage system?

Hello! I honestly debated posting a third attempt, as much of the second attempt's critique was stated as "personal opinion" or related to small words, but I'd still like to tidy it up & make it the best I can be. Please do not hold back with critique — I may ask some clarifying questions but will take it all seriously!
Past changes made (1st Attempt, 2nd Attempt): Clarifying MC's motive & reasoning, clarifying side character's importance (reducing unnecessary pronouns), cleaning up wording. In the second attempt, I tidied up a few words.
Thank you to everyone!
XXXXXXXXXXXX[ Query ]XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Dear [AGENT NAME],
Seventeen-year-old Andy Carroll is both a fight and flight risk. A myriad of failed foster placements have landed her in Banter, Minnesota, an eerie little town she intends to escape by nightfall. Her abusive foster father would be the perfect outlet for her anger, but she can’t bear to put her new foster siblings — tiny-yet-feral Lyla and vigilantly analytical Marcelo — in her fury’s crossfire, or worse, get attached. But when her escape fails, no amount of bloody-knuckled plans can save her from dying at her foster father’s hands.
She wakes in the sprawling forest, revived and unwounded — but Banter’s second chance comes at a cost. Not only is the town infested with spectral parasites, Andy’s death birthed a monster of her own. Nightingales tail each resurrected kid and keep them imprisoned within Banter’s borders, a purgatory Andy is dead set on escaping with the help of Marcelo and the rest of the town’s undead teens. Despite Marcelo’s frigidity, lies about his countless deaths, and Andy’s desperate attempts to stay distant, she finds her affection for him and the other kids growing as her stubborn investigations unearth decades-buried evidence about Banter and its monsters.
But old habits die hard, and Andy’s self-sufficiency traps her more than even her Nightingale. When a new foster placement threatens to rip away Lyla, the only kid left alive, Andy must bring the truth of her abuse — and her own fury-guarded fears — to light before her last chance at a family is buried for good.
KIDS DON’T DIE IN BANTER is a 79k YA Paranormal/Contemporary Fantasy novel that combines the lush yet decaying writing of Krystal Sutherland’s House of Hollow with the ghostly purgatory of C.L. Herman’s The Devouring Gray. It appeals to readers of aroace & queer-platonic love stories, and [agent personalization].
I’m a suburban Minnesotan. Like Andy, I’m autistic, aromantic, and asexual — call that triple-A! My time in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) helped guide the characters’ development with C-PTSD and other trauma, while the Nightingales were birthed from my undying dream to befriend a murder of crows (oh, and heal my inner child).
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
First & Last Name
XXXXXXXXXXXX[ First 300 Words ]XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The only thing stopping Andy from throwing the world’s filthiest right hook is the plastic around her bloody knuckles.
The trash bag crinkles as her fist tightens. Concrete scuffs beneath her combat boots, summer heat bleeding through her jacket. It’s nowhere near as molten as the blood rushing past her ears, muffling her social worker’s new-house spiel and the faint whisper of pines.
“—and as I mentioned, she may need… special attention.”
Andy’s eyes narrow as the world comes back into focus — and right now, that world is confined to a stranger’s doorstep, Andy’s trash bag of clothes, and her social worker’s words floating in the humid slush of air. The feeling’s not unknown, far from it. Hell, it’s so familiar it might as well be family.
“I read her file. Flight risk?” remarks the man at the door. The garbage bag wails for mercy as Andy’s fingernails dig into it. Its pleas don’t escape the man’s notice, and with a smirk he adds, “Well. Fight risk, too, I suppose.”
Andy’s teeth carve into her tongue, fighting back a retort. Blood floods her mouth as she wrenches her gaze to the open door. Dusty floorboards. No toys from the other supposed kids. Metal pop-tabs glint beneath the fridge where they’ve been kicked. Not from a pop addiction, that’s for sure.
The man shifts to block her view, and Andy meets his eyes and lets her split lip curl. He doesn’t look anything like her blood father, a small mercy. Andy’s black, short-cropped hair hasn’t been trimmed for months, but it’s still tidier than the man’s stringy, red-tinged strands. They’re nearly eye-to-eye in height, and if Andy was feeling particularly wild, she could throw a fantastic punch into his snake-gray eyes.
I’d love to. But that’s not quite the plan.

I want to sell my canon camera as listed in caption. How much would one in great condition (always kept in case, etc) go for in the used sales market?
I accidentally listed it at $30 and saw so many people interested in it. But the internet has a range of prices. What is normal? Thanks.

I have been a photographer for a good 5+ years and it’s definitely my passion and what I enjoy deeply doing, but I was talking to my friend and he thinks I’m too much of perfectionist and have to many expectations for what my clients to do with the photos.
A little backstory which will be short but in 2018/2019 I was apart of an art show invited everyone I know because I was so excited to be showcased in it. The day of majority of my friends told me something came up and my parents literally left half way through it and idk I def wasn’t mentally healthy at the time and I let the demons and inner voice win and basically made me feel like my work wasn’t half as good as what was there.
But since then I’ve been working really hard to get out of the mental state and I guess it’s getting harder now because I had 3 clients kinda played me in the process two of them uploaded the raw (I know I know Im going to get the witch hunt for it) but they put those to social media and didn’t even tag (both of them) so I commented my credits. I got annoyed because they told me they loved all of them and gave no indication they where upset so to see them not tag me or even a thank you was just wild in my eyes but my friend told me you got paid and you capture the moment so what does it matter if you get credit? And that irk me bc he’s a writer musician bc he doesn’t necessarily understand the point of tagging and how important it is for our business and this one other girl who loved shooting with me and nice verse I did a pageant shoot for her announcement and I went on IG to see the announcement with other pictures and like WTH and my same friend told me I got paid and you shouldn’t expect other to do stuff with your pictures and I agree with that however I guess I hate the fact I’m told “they are great” and “omg beautiful” “I love this yesss” and they don’t even use them
I’m coming here because I just want insight from other photographers and just see how yall would handle this
Thank you so much 🫶🏼 Again please don’t hate me for the raw photos I regret it so much and will never do it again 😭

I saw there was a challenge mode and I wondered how much this can be expanded, so I came up with some of my own ideas, like these!
Nuzlocke
About what you'd expect. If a pokemon faints it's gone for good. Reviver seeds are still allowed
Short-lived
After a certain number of rounds after being caught (like 30 to 50) your pokemon would automatically be released, meaning you would have to make sure you keep catching new pokemon to prevent losing
Little cup
I'm not sure if this is even possible to beat, basically you can only use unevolved mons that can still evolve, and those mons can never evolve. There might be some sort of strategy that would make it winnable but I kind of doubt it
Legendary Rush
Every single boss mon would be a legendary, as well as gym leaders having one legendary. Using your own legendaries is not allowed
Doubles mode
All battles are doubles, allowing moves and strategies for doubles to shine
Let me know your thoughts!

Hi everyone, I originally posted this in the relationship advice subreddit but I feel like it might be better suited being posted here.
Long story short, we were in a short term fling 2 years ago that lasted 3 months while she was in Canada on exchange from France. We’ve kept pretty consistent contact over socials since then, and at the start of this year we began heavily flirting again. I travelled overseas to visit her last week and we were acting like a couple the whole time, it was wonderful.
Halfway through the trip, we had a conversation about us. She’s tried an ldr before 3 years ago across her country and had a horrible experience, so she firmly said no to starting one. She said to me she wants to be in a relationship together, but is confused because she knows Canada-France and the uncertainty of finding a logical, uncomplicated solution to when the gap could be closed would just hurt/upset her. Her solution ? To enjoy the moment being a couple for the rest of the trip, then to distance ourselves and stop talking once we said goodbye at the train station in order to attempt moving on. If that didn’t work and we just couldn’t let each other go after some time, then we’d discuss things at that point. So that’s what we did.
At our goodbye I gave her a novel and near the end of it, I stuck a note with my phone number and a short message on it. I figured she would take a while to find the note, and by that time with the distance in place she would be able to decide if she truly wants me and wants to attempt making us work.
We had two days of distance, then on day 3 I woke up to a couple texts from her. Now we’re pretty much back to how we were pre-visit and I honestly don’t know what to do. I feel like we’re together but not, and that we can be but we can’t be. Two days feels rather quick for her to think things over. I could ask her what she wants but I know it will come off as extremely pushy/pressuring and just stress her out considering we just discussed all this.
The distance was her logical solution, so why would she go back on it so soon ? What would you do in this situation ?
TLDR; we want to be in a relationship together but she firmly believes she couldn’t handle ldr because of a past experience. Her solution was distance to attempt moving on from each other, but now has gone back on this by contacting me. I want to attempt ldr. What should we do ?

TRIGGER WARNING- SA, etc.
It's a very very long story and there's more that I could go on about but- My parents had me young, mom (19), bio dad (21). They separated when I was around 3 or 4 y/o and that's when my dad (19) (that later adopted me) came into my life. When he went to adopt me at about 7 y/o, before sibling 1 was born, they needed bio dad to release his rights; he agreed on one condition from my mom, 'Don't talk to my family anymore, I will handle it'. So he signed, with the additional agreement that he would not have to pay child support, dad adopted me. I ended up with 1 little sibling and I wanted nothing to do with bio dad at this point, he was already out of my life since the adoption. At around 12 years old, my parents started their divorce, moms second divorce. This divorce was completely different. At first, I hated my (adopted) dad but then again, he used to work 3 jobs to support us, only had 1 day off and used it as a "cleaning day" (which I later appreciated as an adult because I had SEVERE allergies, but in the moment I was just like wtf man fr?) From 13 y/o to about 15 y/o my moms at the time bf was sexually abusing me, forcing me to "cuddle" on the couch, he would pretend to fall asleep (in 5 seconds) and touch my non existent boobs and coochie while grinding his boner against my butt until he had enough. I would lay there silently crying until he actually fell asleep, slowly crawl away, and be up the whole rest of the school night, in shock, crying, cutting myself, and writing very depressing poems. He would break open the bathroom door while I was bathing and would try to peep at me in the tub. I'd cover myself under the bubble bath for HOURS until I had no bubbles and the water was cold. I then tried hurting myself even worse but sibling walked in on me. I broke down and thought if I do this, this dude is going to go for my sibling so I'll just take whatever it is to protect them. So I did. I dealt with all the things plus him walking in on me SERVERAL times in my bedroom each time after I'd have a bath/shower (no lock on the door). This guy also apparently would hit, strangle, and rape my mom. I came to find out that he had a record too, he and his brother abducted a 17 y/o or 18 y/o girl, took her to a trap house, raped her in a bathroom with a pole-blood in the tub, sink, toilet, floor, etc. He also was busted because he put a garbage bag over another man's head and lit it on fire-because the man was black. (Dude ended up being dishonorably discharged later on btw) Eventually, she got rid of him, dated a bit, and settled with a new bf, my now step dad of over 10 years. At this point, I was 16 y/o, had a GREAT relationship with (adopted) dad (not so much my mom), and became curious about my bio dad-where I came from, family customs/traditions, similarities/differences, interests, the other half of who I am. I found him on social media, reached out but didn't get a response for 2-3 weeks. Shortly after us chatting, I went to see him (adopted dad and sibling 1 came with). I had 2 more siblings from bio dad, they were a decade or so younger than me, and sibling 3 didn't resemble me much but did with sibling 2 BUT sibling 2 looked so much like me at that age, weird. A short time later, there was a family event by bio dad, I was invited but had no way to get there (about a 6 hour drive from where I was at the time) so his sistemy aunt said she'd take me. She picked me up and I was to spend the night at her house (with my 2 cousins) then we would travel in the morning. I was so excited because I vaguely remember cousin 1 from childhood, apparently we were super close growing up together, I was eager to reconnect and bond with my cousins. When spending the night, cousin 2 went to sleep early (a bit younger than cousin 1 and I), so cousin 1 and I were talking for hours, it was great being able to reconnect/re-establish our relationship...until he kissed me, threw himself on me, tried getting me to touch him as he started to touch me. I said stop wtf what are you doing we are FIRST cousins!! He chuckled and said "We are but we're not" ... "wtf are you talking about?" ... "I'm not supposed to say but your dad had a DNA test done during tour parents divorce and told all of us your mom cheated on him, you're not ACTUALLY his acoording to the test" ... so at this point, I'm disgusted, have so many questions, confused, am in a house of 'family' that I don't know/don't believe that I am family-I went to sleep. Next day we traveled to see bio dad and after the event I asked him and step mom about it and also mentioned that because of this cousin 1 tried "xyz". Bio dad's response to the DNA-"Your mother had the DNA test done and it said I was not your bio father, she probably lied/gave me a fake test so I would stay out of your life." I went to my mom and questioned her, she said "Absolutely not, you know your (adopted) father and I don't talk so you can even ask him to verify that I'm not lying. I have no idea about anything that has to do with a DNA test, we never had one as he (bio das) was my first and we got married then I was prengant with you about 3-4 months after getting married." I asked (adopted) dad and his story lined up perfectly with my mom's. So bio dad lied to me and his entire side of the family to save face. He lied to all of them because his agreement of giving up his rights to me and not having to pay child support would not have been supported by his side of the family so he told them I wasn't his and supposedly provided a (fake) test so they'd get off his back about it. My grandfather from him said he saw the test-but there was no test! Beyond fucked up man...but whatever. I still wanted a connection. I wanted to leave the bullshit in the past and move forward right? So, fast forward a bit, I was in a 3 year (3 out of 3.5 year) relationship with a TRUE P.O.S. bf that was physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive. We lived together for 3 years out of our 3.5 year relationship. He was addicted to porn, would call me a bitch every single day amoung other things, ended up raping me and thought it was funny, would hit, kick, choke me (not in the good way), and push me off the bed but then say "You think I want to be like this?! You think I want to do this to you?! Hurt you?! You're making me do it, it's your fault because you have issues." I wasn't "allowed" to talk to my guy friends because they're guys (and I didn't have many girl friends at all), especially my best guy friend that I grew up with and had known since 3 y/o. Bf would isolate me from my families even. At work, I only would talk to my guy friends/male co-workers if bf wasn't there otherwise he would ignore me the whole shift and be brutal when we got home (yeah, we also worked together for a bit over 3 years). I then found out that bf went on the dark web and watched a man kidnap someone, rape her, murder her, and proceed to rape her corpse...my bf was getting off on it! He even said he went back on the next night to do it again but site was blocked. FUCKING PSYCHOTIC. I could go on and on about his craziness. I was his 3rd virgin btw and at work we had a "work daughter" (was so close to that girl, she was 3 years younger than me, 5 years younger than bf and I used to go to her (when bf didnt have same shift as me) crying and telling her everything that would happen with him, so she knew all the shit he did). I was scared he was going to kill me one day, I was scared to stay, scared to leave, all the stupid things and all I wanted was consistent love. We did end up breaking up a few months after I turned 21, he ended up dating our work daughter and took her virginity too! He also did all the shit to her as he did to me! I felt bad for her at first but then thought no you dumb fuck, you knew EVERYTHING you were getting into smh. Anyway, I went to a family event for bio dad, bf was working, they wanted to meet him; we set up lunch for the following day. Bio dad said he was going to give bf the "talk" yk...with the shot gun type of talk. I said I don't feel comfortable with that because firstly, it's not his place, I have my dad (adopted), secondly, bio dad even agreed that we more so have a friend relationship at this point, and third, I've already been with bf for 3 years so it's not appropriate. He got REALLY salty the morning of the meet. We were coordinating plans and everything when he said along the lines, "We haven't seen you in person for almost 2 years now yet you always have time to go out...etc.etc." I responded, "The two times that you have seen me post that I was out, I was across the street from work. I went there for about 2 hours both times with bf and co-workers. I cannot drive 6-8 hours to you and 6-8 hours back in the same day. I work two full time jobs and am going to college online full-time. I'm sorry that I'm making you feel this way or that I've been distant but I try talking and seeing you all (on Skype and such) as much as I can. I don't know what else you want me to do or say at this point. That's why I'm excited for this meet up today. You also could have put in the effort to come out this way these last two years to visit me as well, but again, I'm sorry. I hope you all aren't mad at me, I'm really trying here." He then tells me "I'm going to have to cancel lunch today. I don't think meeting today is a good idea. Now I'm going to have to tell your (LITTLE) siblings that you don't want to see them today since you never have time for us and have basically disappeared from our lives these last 2 years." Aaaaand that's when I ✨️lost✨️ my shit and popped off 🙃 "ME?! I'm the one that disappeared?!?! How fucking dare you say that. How fucking dare you try to do that to them and me. YOU disappeared from MY life at 4 years old, LIED to the entire family (they still questioned if I'm "there's" or not, even had received the comment "Even though you're not ours, your ours because we've known you since a baby" and only 1 of bio dad's parents is still somewhat in touch with me to this day btw) I didn't see YOU for 12 YEARS of my life! I reached out to YOU, I have been the only one making an effort to keep the line of communication open and going and even after all of that plus my explaining that I work TWO full-time jobs plus full-time school, you still have the nerve and audacity to make me the bad guy and say I'm the one not trying here?! YOU are going to continue to LIE and tell MY siblings that I don't want to see them when that couldn't be further from the truth?! I'm going to tell you this ONCE, YOU blew your first chance of staying in my life when I was a child, now you're blowing it a SECOND time with me as an adult; there WILL NOT be a third time. I WILL NOT subject myself to this nor do I need your added stress. I WILL NOT allow you to do this to me EVER again. If my siblings or even step mom (or that side of the family) want to be in contact with me-I will gladly accept that but YOU are DEAD to me. Don't talk to me, don't contact me, I want NOTHING to do with YOU anymore, sperm donor." ... no response ...every couple of years after that I got a "happy birthday" or "merry christmas" here and there but I never responded. It's been a few years with no interaction from him. I just miss my siblings. I got so attached to them and I miss them, I tried staying in contact through video chats but they were still fairly young at that point so it was difficult plus having him or step mom in the background sometimes was awkward. They're now getting a bit older, sibling 2 is turning 18, sibling 3 will be 16. We have each other on social media but don't talk and very very VERY rarely interact with likes on posts. I'm afraid to make the first move, I don't want to push anything, I don't know what bio dad has been feeding into their brains about me, etc. My relationship with them will NEVER be as close as with my almost 21 y/o sibling 1 from (adopted) dad, which I can accept, I absolutely love my sibling 1 that I grew up with like nothing and no one else; I practically raised him tbh. But I do think about the other 2 siblings, I miss them, I just don't know if I should respect unspoken boundaries or make the first move? What do you think? And lmk if you want more of these batshit crazy stories that I've went through (tbh I'm probably going to post another seeking advice on another subject). ✌🏻

I feel like there’s been a huge trend in people looking for side hustle income in the last few years and it’s only growing at a rapid rate.
Which got me thinking… prolific is still slightly under the radar compared to many other side hustles like dropshipping, tiktok, YouTube - most of which are just scammers selling courses or making videos where they really just make money from the views. I’ve looked at the data on prolific growth in the last year and it’s been exponentially growing since 2021 (just take a look at the reddit followers In the last year alone) - I believe it grew the most out of all the years. Is anyone worried that with more influx of people joining and videos made about how great prolific is the ability to earn good pay for “us” current users will dramatically deteriorate? It’s just like any other website where once it becomes popular it might not be a viable option anymore.
For those that complain about no studies, think about how it’s gonna happen more often as more people join because there can only be so many studies at a time compared to an infinite number of participants.
I just hope this stays under the radar and all of the ones here praising prolific should probably stop sharing it to a large audience because it could potentially be bad for us. However this would obviously be great for the company though because they want more people from a business perspective.
Unfortunately it’s probably inevitable as beermoney posts about this all the time.
What do you all think?

I’m starting to wonder if I’m the problem because ever since middle school, I’ve lost every girl who I considered to be my closest/best friend. The one in school was due to petty drama over me earning a role in the school play that my friend wanted, but this one is more serious. We’re both in our early 20s and I met her a few years ago. She wasn’t like my friends from school, we had so many similar interests and got along so well. Everything was great but then she got a boyfriend. Her having someone in her life wasn’t the issue as I had a boyfriend as well and we’d all hangout together, but this guy is so much older than her. She was freshly 21 and he’s 30.. some people think this is fine but I was mentally and sexually abused in high school by my older boyfriend so I was naturally hesitant about this guy. I only met him once so idk too much about him but I told her to please lmk if he ever does anything because I’d hate to see her go through the things I experienced. For extra reference he had dated a minor in the past, has a dominance kink plus my friend is super tiny compared to him so it left a sour taste in my mouth. It’s been so long since we had a real conversation but I just can’t help but think that her bf told her to stay away from me or something… i wasn’t trying to overstep but I feel like I just drove her away. I can’t help but think she’s getting hurt and being isolated from me. Idk how to get over it because I just want my friend back and idk what to do :(

Hi there, I’m kinda new to graphics development and I’m trying to understand the flow of execution, could someone please explain it to me. I understand the actual hardware (GPU) ultimately will understand and work on binary only, but how we go there, I have been fighting with GPT to understand how it’s all work but it keeps countering it’s own responses, this is how I understand it which I’m sure it’s not 100 correct and it’s not complete:-
My application code written in C++ / I wrote some functions in C++ that includes some of Vulkan stuff / this Vulkan stuff will be sent to Vulkan loader which by itself is also linked to a lot of header files and dynamic libraries / this Vulkan loader will arrange everything and send it to Vulkan validation layers / this layers will make sure everything is correct and do some debugging in case of errors and then send the code to ICD / ICD aka drivers will receive the code and translates it to GPU specific language and then translate it to binary and send it to the GPU. My questions are as follows:
1- when and where my C++ code will be translated to SPIR-V and who is responsible for this translation, is it the same C++ compiler ? 2- is Vulkan SDK like Lunar G is the loader and it’s linked header files, libraries and ICD, does that mean Lunar G comes with drivers ! 3- can I write directly using SPIR -V ( hypothetical question just for curiosity) 4- is my understanding above for the flow is correct am I missing something, is there a huge misunderstanding hidden somewhere
Any attempt of answering is much appreciated guys

TRIGGER WARNING- SA, etc.
It's a very very long story and there's more that I could go on about but- My parents had me young, mom (19), bio dad (21). They separated when I was around 3 or 4 y/o and that's when my dad (19) (that later adopted me) came into my life. When he went to adopt me at about 7 y/o, before sibling 1 was born, they needed bio dad to release his rights; he agreed on one condition from my mom, 'Don't talk to my family anymore, I will handle it'. So he signed, with the additional agreement that he would not have to pay child support, dad adopted me. I ended up with 1 little sibling and I wanted nothing to do with bio dad at this point, he was already out of my life since the adoption. At around 12 years old, my parents started their divorce, moms second divorce. This divorce was completely different. At first, I hated my (adopted) dad but then again, he used to work 3 jobs to support us, only had 1 day off and used it as a "cleaning day" (which I later appreciated as an adult because I had SEVERE allergies, but in the moment I was just like wtf man fr?) From 13 y/o to about 15 y/o my moms at the time bf was sexually abusing me, forcing me to "cuddle" on the couch, he would pretend to fall asleep (in 5 seconds) and touch my non existent boobs and coochie while grinding his boner against my butt until he had enough. I would lay there silently crying until he actually fell asleep, slowly crawl away, and be up the whole rest of the school night, in shock, crying, cutting myself, and writing very depressing poems. He would break open the bathroom door while I was bathing and would try to peep at me in the tub. I'd cover myself under the bubble bath for HOURS until I had no bubbles and the water was cold. I then tried hurting myself even worse but sibling walked in on me. I broke down and thought if I do this, this dude is going to go for my sibling so I'll just take whatever it is to protect them. So I did. I dealt with all the things plus him walking in on me SERVERAL times in my bedroom each time after I'd have a bath/shower (no lock on the door). This guy also apparently would hit, strangle, and rape my mom. I came to find out that he had a record too, he and his brother abducted a 17 y/o or 18 y/o girl, took her to a trap house, raped her in a bathroom with a pole-blood in the tub, sink, toilet, floor, etc. He also was busted because he put a garbage bag over another man's head and lit it on fire-because the man was black. (Dude ended up being dishonorably discharged later on btw) Eventually, she got rid of him, dated a bit, and settled with a new bf, my now step dad of over 10 years. At this point, I was 16 y/o, had a GREAT relationship with (adopted) dad (not so much my mom), and became curious about my bio dad-where I came from, family customs/traditions, similarities/differences, interests, the other half of who I am. I found him on social media, reached out but didn't get a response for 2-3 weeks. Shortly after us chatting, I went to see him (adopted dad and sibling 1 came with). I had 2 more siblings from bio dad, they were a decade or so younger than me, and sibling 3 didn't resemble me much but did with sibling 2 BUT sibling 2 looked so much like me at that age, weird. A short time later, there was a family event by bio dad, I was invited but had no way to get there (about a 6 hour drive from where I was at the time) so his sistemy aunt said she'd take me. She picked me up and I was to spend the night at her house (with my 2 cousins) then we would travel in the morning. I was so excited because I vaguely remember cousin 1 from childhood, apparently we were super close growing up together, I was eager to reconnect and bond with my cousins. When spending the night, cousin 2 went to sleep early (a bit younger than cousin 1 and I), so cousin 1 and I were talking for hours, it was great being able to reconnect/re-establish our relationship...until he kissed me, threw himself on me, tried getting me to touch him as he started to touch me. I said stop wtf what are you doing we are FIRST cousins!! He chuckled and said "We are but we're not" ... "wtf are you talking about?" ... "I'm not supposed to say but your dad had a DNA test done during tour parents divorce and told all of us your mom cheated on him, you're not ACTUALLY his acoording to the test" ... so at this point, I'm disgusted, have so many questions, confused, am in a house of 'family' that I don't know/don't believe that I am family-I went to sleep. Next day we traveled to see bio dad and after the event I asked him and step mom about it and also mentioned that because of this cousin 1 tried "xyz". Bio dad's response to the DNA-"Your mother had the DNA test done and it said I was not your bio father, she probably lied/gave me a fake test so I would stay out of your life." I went to my mom and questioned her, she said "Absolutely not, you know your (adopted) father and I don't talk so you can even ask him to verify that I'm not lying. I have no idea about anything that has to do with a DNA test, we never had one as he (bio das) was my first and we got married then I was prengant with you about 3-4 months after getting married." I asked (adopted) dad and his story lined up perfectly with my mom's. So bio dad lied to me and his entire side of the family to save face. He lied to all of them because his agreement of giving up his rights to me and not having to pay child support would not have been supported by his side of the family so he told them I wasn't his and supposedly provided a (fake) test so they'd get off his back about it. My grandfather from him said he saw the test-but there was no test! Beyond fucked up man...but whatever. I still wanted a connection. I wanted to leave the bullshit in the past and move forward right? So, fast forward a bit, I was in a 3 year (3 out of 3.5 year) relationship with a TRUE P.O.S. bf that was physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive. We lived together for 3 years out of our 3.5 year relationship. He was addicted to porn, would call me a bitch every single day amoung other things, ended up raping me and thought it was funny, would hit, kick, choke me (not in the good way), and push me off the bed but then say "You think I want to be like this?! You think I want to do this to you?! Hurt you?! You're making me do it, it's your fault because you have issues." I wasn't "allowed" to talk to my guy friends because they're guys (and I didn't have many girl friends at all), especially my best guy friend that I grew up with and had known since 3 y/o. Bf would isolate me from my families even. At work, I only would talk to my guy friends/male co-workers if bf wasn't there otherwise he would ignore me the whole shift and be brutal when we got home (yeah, we also worked together for a bit over 3 years). I then found out that bf went on the dark web and watched a man kidnap someone, rape her, murder her, and proceed to rape her corpse...my bf was getting off on it! He even said he went back on the next night to do it again but site was blocked. FUCKING PSYCHOTIC. I could go on and on about his craziness. I was his 3rd virgin btw and at work we had a "work daughter" (was so close to that girl, she was 3 years younger than me, 5 years younger than bf and I used to go to her (when bf didnt have same shift as me) crying and telling her everything that would happen with him, so she knew all the shit he did). I was scared he was going to kill me one day, I was scared to stay, scared to leave, all the stupid things and all I wanted was consistent love. We did end up breaking up a few months after I turned 21, he ended up dating our work daughter and took her virginity too! He also did all the shit to her as he did to me! I felt bad for her at first but then thought no you dumb fuck, you knew EVERYTHING you were getting into smh. Anyway, I went to a family event for bio dad, bf was working, they wanted to meet him; we set up lunch for the following day. Bio dad said he was going to give bf the "talk" yk...with the shot gun type of talk. I said I don't feel comfortable with that because firstly, it's not his place, I have my dad (adopted), secondly, bio dad even agreed that we more so have a friend relationship at this point, and third, I've already been with bf for 3 years so it's not appropriate. He got REALLY salty the morning of the meet. We were coordinating plans and everything when he said along the lines, "We haven't seen you in person for almost 2 years now yet you always have time to go out...etc.etc." I responded, "The two times that you have seen me post that I was out, I was across the street from work. I went there for about 2 hours both times with bf and co-workers. I cannot drive 6-8 hours to you and 6-8 hours back in the same day. I work two full time jobs and am going to college online full-time. I'm sorry that I'm making you feel this way or that I've been distant but I try talking and seeing you all (on Skype and such) as much as I can. I don't know what else you want me to do or say at this point. That's why I'm excited for this meet up today. You also could have put in the effort to come out this way these last two years to visit me as well, but again, I'm sorry. I hope you all aren't mad at me, I'm really trying here." He then tells me "I'm going to have to cancel lunch today. I don't think meeting today is a good idea. Now I'm going to have to tell your (LITTLE) siblings that you don't want to see them today since you never have time for us and have basically disappeared from our lives these last 2 years." Aaaaand that's when I ✨️lost✨️ my shit and popped off 🙃 "ME?! I'm the one that disappeared?!?! How fucking dare you say that. How fucking dare you try to do that to them and me. YOU disappeared from MY life at 4 years old, LIED to the entire family (they still questioned if I'm "there's" or not, even had received the comment "Even though you're not ours, your ours because we've known you since a baby" and only 1 of bio dad's parents is still somewhat in touch with me to this day btw) I didn't see YOU for 12 YEARS of my life! I reached out to YOU, I have been the only one making an effort to keep the line of communication open and going and even after all of that plus my explaining that I work TWO full-time jobs plus full-time school, you still have the nerve and audacity to make me the bad guy and say I'm the one not trying here?! YOU are going to continue to LIE and tell MY siblings that I don't want to see them when that couldn't be further from the truth?! I'm going to tell you this ONCE, YOU blew your first chance of staying in my life when I was a child, now you're blowing it a SECOND time with me as an adult; there WILL NOT be a third time. I WILL NOT subject myself to this nor do I need your added stress. I WILL NOT allow you to do this to me EVER again. If my siblings or even step mom (or that side of the family) want to be in contact with me-I will gladly accept that but YOU are DEAD to me. Don't talk to me, don't contact me, I want NOTHING to do with YOU anymore, sperm donor." ... no response ...every couple of years after that I got a "happy birthday" or "merry christmas" here and there but I never responded. It's been a few years with no interaction from him. I just miss my siblings. I got so attached to them and I miss them, I tried staying in contact through video chats but they were still fairly young at that point so it was difficult plus having him or step mom in the background sometimes was awkward. They're now getting a bit older, sibling 2 is turning 18, sibling 3 will be 16. We have each other on social media but don't talk and very very VERY rarely interact with likes on posts. I'm afraid to make the first move, I don't want to push anything, I don't know what bio dad has been feeding into their brains about me, etc. My relationship with them will NEVER be as close as with my almost 21 y/o sibling 1 from (adopted) dad, which I can accept, I absolutely love my sibling 1 that I grew up with like nothing and no one else; I practically raised him tbh. But I do think about the other 2 siblings, I miss them, I just don't know if I should respect unspoken boundaries or make the first move? What do you think? And lmk if you want more of these batshit crazy stories that I've went through (tbh I'm probably going to post another seeking advice on another subject). ✌🏻

*** I DO NOT CONDUCT ANY TYPE OF MIDDLEMAN OR SALES ON DISCORD, IF SOMEONE SAYS OTHERWISE PLEASE BRING TO MY ATTENTION AND I WILL INFORM THE MODS *** If Interested in any items please PM me with the full description of the items you are interested in. Your Paypal and RSI emails. Transaction will be done through Paypal invoicing. I am usually able to reply immediately, if I do not, then im likely driving or asleep so please be patient and I will get to it as soon as I am up. My time zone is GMT -5. BELOW PRICES SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY AND CHANGE.

(CCU) - FROM	(CCU) - TO	PROMO	PRICE (INC. PP FEES)
PROWLER	600I EXPLORER	BIS 2953/ 120M INS	20
HORNET GHOST	BALLISTA	120M INS	10
M2 HERCULES	CARRACK	120M INS	68
ECLIPSE	CATERPILLAR	120M INS	25
STARFARER	CATERPILLAR	120M INS	25
RAILEN	CORSAIR	BIS 2953/ 120M INS	25
TERRAPIN	CORSAIR	May include 120M INS	20
DEFENDER	CORSAIR	May include 120M INS	20
NOVA	CUTLASS RED	Career Kit	30
SUPER HORNET HEARTSEEKER	DEFENDER		20
MAKO	FREELANCER	Career Kit	30
STARFARER GEMINI	HULL C		65
PROWLER	HULL C		35
PROWLER	HULL D		60
STARFARER GEMINI	HULL D		115
RECLAIMER	HULL D	120M INS	75
GENESIS	HULL D	120M INS	75
C2 HERCULES	HULL D	120M INS	75
STARFARER GEMINI	MERCHANTMAN		199
ARRASTRA	MERCHANTMAN		52
LIBERATOR	MERCHANTMAN		52
ORION	MERCHANTMAN	Same cost ccu	30
VANGUARD HOPLITE	MERCURY	BIS 2952/ 120M INS	20
HULL D	ORION	120M INS	62
PERSEUS	POLARIS	120M INS	52
HORNET TRACKER	PROSPECTOR	Career Kit	30
BALLISTA	PROSPECTOR	Career Kit	30
C2 HERCULES	PROWLER	120M INS	35
ECLIPSE	REDEEMER	BIS 2953/ 120M INS	30
A1 SPIRIT	SAN'TOK.YAI	120M INS	20
GEMINI	VALKYRIE	Career Kit	50
CONSTELLATION ANDROMEDA	VANGUARD WARDEN		15
PROSPECTOR	VULTURE	Career Kit	30
PROSPECTOR	VULTURE	BIS 2953/ 120M INS	20
RAZOR	VULTURE		10
FREELANCER DUR	VULTURE		30
RAFT	VULTURE	120M INS	35
​

please message me for stock status as i may be out of stock on certain ccus ​ CCULIST H-Z here https://www.reddit.com/Starcitizen_trades/comments/1d1yicy/wts_polaris_lti_ccud_379_prowler_to_hull_d_ccu_50/
​ CCU LIST H-Z

(CCU) - FROM	(CCU) - TO	MELT VALUE	PRICE (INC. PP FEES)
ARRASTRA	HAMMERHEAD		160
CARRACK	HAMMERHEAD		134
CARRACK EXPEDITION	HAMMERHEAD		108
CARRACK EXPEDITION W/C8X	HAMMERHEAD		88
CARRACK W/C8X	HAMMERHEAD		114
HULL C	HAMMERHEAD		238
HULL D	HAMMERHEAD		186
LIBERATOR	HAMMERHEAD		160
M2 HERCULES	HAMMERHEAD		218
MERCHANTMAN	HAMMERHEAD		82
ODYSSEY	HAMMERHEAD		30
ORION	HAMMERHEAD		82
PERSEUS	HAMMERHEAD		56
ARROW	HAWK		30
AVENGER TITAN RENEGADE	HAWK		30
AVENGER WARLOCK	HAWK		20
CYCLONE-AA	HAWK		25
GLADIUS	HAWK		15
HERALD	HAWK		20
HULL A	HAWK		15
NOMAD	HAWK		25
RELIANT MAKO	HAWK		10
RELIANT SENTINEL	HAWK		20
RELIANT TANA	HAWK		30
STORM	HAWK		15
SYULEN	HAWK		36
350R	HULL B		20
ARROW	HULL B		72
BUCCANEER	HULL B		36
C1 SPIRIT	HULL B		20
CENTURION	HULL B		36
CUTLASS BLACK	HULL B		36
CUTLASS RED	HULL B		10
F7C HORNET MK I	HULL B		20
FREELANCER	HULL B		36
FREELANCER DUR	HULL B		10
GLADIUS	HULL B		56
GLADIUS VALIANT	HULL B		36
HAWK	HULL B		46
HULL A	HULL B		56
LEGIONNAIRE	HULL B		25
M50	HULL B		46
NOVA	HULL B		25
RAFT	HULL B		20
TALON	HULL B		30
TALON SHRIKE	HULL B		30
600I EXPLORER	HULL C		30
600I TOURING	HULL C		72
C2 HERCULES	HULL C		108
CRUCIBLE	HULL C		160
ENDEAVOR	HULL C		160
GALAXY	HULL C		129
GENESIS STARLINER	HULL C		108
GLAIVE	HULL C		160
HULL B	HULL C		379
MOLE	HULL C		197
PROWLER	HULL C		67
RECLAIMER	HULL C		108
STARFARER GEMINI	HULL C		171
VALKYRIE	HULL C		134
600I EXPLORER	HULL D		82
600I TOURING	HULL D		124
C2 HERCULES	HULL D		160
CATERPILLAR	HULL D		233
CRUCIBLE	HULL D		212
ENDEAVOR	HULL D		212
GALAXY	HULL D		181
GENESIS STARLINER	HULL D		160
GLAIVE	HULL D		212
HULL C	HULL D		56
M2 HERCULES	HULL D		36
MOLE	HULL D		249
PROWLER	HULL D		119
RECLAIMER	HULL D		160
STARFARER GEMINI	HULL D		223
VALKYRIE	HULL D		186
A1 SPIRIT	HURRICANE		15
CONSTELLATION TAURUS	HURRICANE		15
CUTLASS BLUE	HURRICANE		41
E1 SPIRIT	HURRICANE		67
F7C HORNET WILDFIRE MK I	HURRICANE		41
F7C-M SUPER HORNET MK I	HURRICANE		36
F7C-M SUPER HORNET HEARTSEEKER MK I	HURRICANE		15
FREELANCER MAX	HURRICANE		67
FREELANCER MIS	HURRICANE		41
GLADIATOR	HURRICANE		51
KHARTU-AL	HURRICANE		46
PROSPECTOR	HURRICANE		62
RAZOR EX	HURRICANE		62
RAZOR LX	HURRICANE		67
RETALIATOR	HURRICANE		41
SABRE	HURRICANE		46
SABRE COMET	HURRICANE		30
SRV	HURRICANE		51
VULCAN	HURRICANE		15
VULTURE	HURRICANE		41
ANVIL BALLISTA	KHARTU-AL		36
ANVIL BALLISTA DUNESTALKER	KHARTU-AL		36
ANVIL BALLISTA SNOWBLIND	KHARTU-AL		36
CUTLASS RED	KHARTU-AL		41
E1 SPIRIT	KHARTU-AL		25
EXPANSE	KHARTU-AL		25
F7C-R HORNET TRACKER MK I	KHARTU-AL		25
FREELANCER DUR	KHARTU-AL		41
FREELANCER MAX	KHARTU-AL		25
GLADIATOR	KHARTU-AL		10
HULL B	KHARTU-AL		36
MANTIS	KHARTU-AL		25
PROSPECTOR	KHARTU-AL		20
RAZOR	KHARTU-AL		30
RAZOR EX	KHARTU-AL		20
RAZOR LX	KHARTU-AL		25
SRV	KHARTU-AL		10
600I EXPLORER	LIBERATOR		108
600I TOURING	LIBERATOR		150
C2 HERCULES	LIBERATOR		186
CATERPILLAR	LIBERATOR		259
CRUCIBLE	LIBERATOR		238
ENDEAVOR	LIBERATOR		238
GENESIS STARLINER	LIBERATOR		186
GLAIVE	LIBERATOR		238
HULL C	LIBERATOR		82
HULL D	LIBERATOR		30
M2 HERCULES	LIBERATOR		62
MOLE	LIBERATOR		275
PROWLER	LIBERATOR		145
RECLAIMER	LIBERATOR		186
REDEEMER	LIBERATOR		259
STARFARER GEMINI	LIBERATOR		249
VALKYRIE	LIBERATOR		212
600I EXPLORER	M2 HERCULES		51
600I TOURING	M2 HERCULES		93
C2 HERCULES	M2 HERCULES		129
CRUCIBLE	M2 HERCULES		181
ENDEAVOR	M2 HERCULES		181
GALAXY	M2 HERCULES		150
GENESIS STARLINER	M2 HERCULES		129
GLAIVE	M2 HERCULES		181
HULL C	M2 HERCULES		25
MOLE	M2 HERCULES		218
PROWLER	M2 HERCULES		88
RECLAIMER	M2 HERCULES		129
STARFARER GEMINI	M2 HERCULES		192
VALKYRIE	M2 HERCULES		155
350R	MANTIS		30
ANVIL BALLISTA	MANTIS		15
ANVIL BALLISTA DUNESTALKER	MANTIS		15
ANVIL BALLISTA SNOWBLIND	MANTIS		15
BUCCANEER	MANTIS		46
C1 SPIRIT	MANTIS		30
CENTURION	MANTIS		46
CUTLASS BLACK	MANTIS		46
CUTLASS RED	MANTIS		20
F7C HORNET MK I	MANTIS		30
F7C-S HORNET GHOST MK I	MANTIS		15
FREELANCER	MANTIS		46
FREELANCER DUR	MANTIS		20
GLADIUS VALIANT	MANTIS		46
HAWK	MANTIS		56
HULL B	MANTIS		15
LEGIONNAIRE	MANTIS		36
M50	MANTIS		56
NOVA	MANTIS		36
RAFT	MANTIS		30
RAZOR	MANTIS		10
STORM AA	MANTIS		56
TALON	MANTIS		41
TALON SHRIKE	MANTIS		41
ARRASTRA	MERCHANTMAN		82
CARRACK	MERCHANTMAN		56
CARRACK EXPEDITION	MERCHANTMAN		30
CARRACK EXPEDITION W/C8X	MERCHANTMAN		10
CARRACK W/C8X	MERCHANTMAN		36
HULL C	MERCHANTMAN		160
HULL D	MERCHANTMAN		108
LIBERATOR	MERCHANTMAN		82
M2 HERCULES	MERCHANTMAN		140
400I	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		15
400i	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		15
APOLLO TRIAGE	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		15
ARES INFERNO	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		15
ARES ION	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		15
CONSTELLATION ANDROMEDA	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		25
CONSTELLATION TAURUS	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		67
CORSAIR	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		15
DEFENDER	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		46
F7C-M SUPER HORNET MK I	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		88
F7C-M SUPER HORNET HEARTSEEKER MK I	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		67
HURRICANE	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		56
RAILEN	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		41
SABRE COMET	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		82
SANTOKYAI	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		25
SCORPIUS	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		25
SCORPIUS ANTARES	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		36
TERRAPIN	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		46
VANGUARD HOPLITE	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		25
VULCAN	MERCURY STAR RUNNER		67
ARRASTRA	NAUTILUS		160
CARRACK	NAUTILUS		134
CARRACK EXPEDITION	NAUTILUS		108
CARRACK EXPEDITION W/C8X	NAUTILUS		88
CARRACK W/C8X	NAUTILUS		114
HULL C	NAUTILUS		238
HULL D	NAUTILUS		186
LIBERATOR	NAUTILUS		160
M2 HERCULES	NAUTILUS		218
MERCHANTMAN	NAUTILUS		82
ODYSSEY	NAUTILUS		30
ORION	NAUTILUS		82
PERSEUS	NAUTILUS		56
ARROW	NOVA		51
AVENGER TITAN RENEGADE	NOVA		51
AVENGER WARLOCK	NOVA		41
BUCCANEER	NOVA		15
CENTURION	NOVA		15
CUTLASS BLACK	NOVA		15
CYCLONE-AA	NOVA		46
FREELANCER	NOVA		15
GLADIUS	NOVA		36
GLADIUS VALIANT	NOVA		15
HAWK	NOVA		25
HERALD	NOVA		41
HULL A	NOVA		36
M50	NOVA		25
NOMAD	NOVA		46
RELIANT MAKO	NOVA		30
RELIANT SENTINEL	NOVA		41
RELIANT TANA	NOVA		51
STORM	NOVA		36
STORM AA	NOVA		25
TALON	NOVA		10
TALON SHRIKE	NOVA		10
ARRASTRA	ODYSSEY		134
CARRACK	ODYSSEY		108
CARRACK EXPEDITION	ODYSSEY		82
CARRACK EXPEDITION W/C8X	ODYSSEY		62
CARRACK W/C8X	ODYSSEY		88
HULL C	ODYSSEY		212
HULL D	ODYSSEY		160
LIBERATOR	ODYSSEY		134
M2 HERCULES	ODYSSEY		192
MERCHANTMAN	ODYSSEY		56
ORION	ODYSSEY		56
PERSEUS	ODYSSEY		30
ARRASTRA	ORION		82
CARRACK	ORION		56
CARRACK EXPEDITION	ORION		30
CARRACK EXPEDITION W/C8X	ORION		10
CARRACK W/C8X	ORION		36
HULL C	ORION		160
HULL D	ORION		108
LIBERATOR	ORION		82
M2 HERCULES	ORION		140
MOLE	ORION		353
ARRASTRA	PERSEUS		108
CARRACK	PERSEUS		82
CARRACK EXPEDITION	PERSEUS		56
CARRACK EXPEDITION W/C8X	PERSEUS		36
CARRACK W/C8X	PERSEUS		62
HULL C	PERSEUS		186
HULL D	PERSEUS		134
LIBERATOR	PERSEUS		108
M2 HERCULES	PERSEUS		166
MERCHANTMAN	PERSEUS		30
ORION	PERSEUS		30
ARRASTRA	POLARIS		186
CARRACK	POLARIS		160
CARRACK EXPEDITION	POLARIS		134
CARRACK EXPEDITION W/C8X	POLARIS		114
CARRACK W/C8X	POLARIS		140
HAMMERHEAD	POLARIS		30
HULL C	POLARIS		264
HULL D	POLARIS		212
LIBERATOR	POLARIS		186
M2 HERCULES	POLARIS		244
MERCHANTMAN	POLARIS		108
NAUTILUS	POLARIS		30
NAUTILUS SOLSTICE EDITION	POLARIS		30
ODYSSEY	POLARIS		56
ORION	POLARIS		108
PERSEUS	POLARIS		82
600I TOURING	PROWLER		10
C2 HERCULES	PROWLER		46
CRUCIBLE	PROWLER		98
ENDEAVOR	PROWLER		98
GALAXY	PROWLER		67
GENESIS STARLINER	PROWLER		46
GLAIVE	PROWLER		98
MOLE	PROWLER		134
RECLAIMER	PROWLER		46
STARFARER GEMINI	PROWLER		108
VALKYRIE	PROWLER		72
ARROW	RAFT		56
BUCCANEER	RAFT		20
CENTURION	RAFT		20
CUTLASS BLACK	RAFT		20
FREELANCER	RAFT		20
GLADIUS	RAFT		41
GLADIUS VALIANT	RAFT		20
HAWK	RAFT		30
HULL A	RAFT		41
LEGIONNAIRE	RAFT		10
M50	RAFT		30
NOVA	RAFT		10
TALON	RAFT		15
TALON SHRIKE	RAFT		15
A1 SPIRIT	RAILEN		30
CONSTELLATION TAURUS	RAILEN		30
CUTLASS BLUE	RAILEN		56
DEFENDER	RAILEN		10
F7C HORNET WILDFIRE MK I	RAILEN		56
F7C-M SUPER HORNET MK I	RAILEN		51
F7C-M SUPER HORNET HEARTSEEKER MK I	RAILEN		30
FREELANCER MIS	RAILEN		56
HURRICANE	RAILEN		20
KHARTU-AL	RAILEN		62
SABRE	RAILEN		62
SABRE COMET	RAILEN		46
TERRAPIN	RAILEN		10
VULCAN	RAILEN		30
VULTURE	RAILEN		56
350R	RAZOR		25
ANVIL BALLISTA	RAZOR		10
ANVIL BALLISTA DUNESTALKER	RAZOR		10
ANVIL BALLISTA SNOWBLIND	RAZOR		10
BUCCANEER	RAZOR		41
C1 SPIRIT	RAZOR		25
CENTURION	RAZOR		41
CUTLASS BLACK	RAZOR		41
CUTLASS RED	RAZOR		15
F7C HORNET MK I	RAZOR		25
F7C-S HORNET GHOST MK I	RAZOR		10
FREELANCER	RAZOR		41
FREELANCER DUR	RAZOR		15
GLADIUS VALIANT	RAZOR		41
HAWK	RAZOR		51
HULL B	RAZOR		10
LEGIONNAIRE	RAZOR		30
M50	RAZOR		51
NOVA	RAZOR		30
RAFT	RAZOR		25
STORM AA	RAZOR		51
TALON	RAZOR		36
TALON SHRIKE	RAZOR		36
350R	RAZOR EX		36
ANVIL BALLISTA	RAZOR EX		20
ANVIL BALLISTA DUNESTALKER	RAZOR EX		20
ANVIL BALLISTA SNOWBLIND	RAZOR EX		20
BUCCANEER	RAZOR EX		51
C1 SPIRIT	RAZOR EX		36
CENTURION	RAZOR EX		51
CUTLASS BLACK	RAZOR EX		51
CUTLASS RED	RAZOR EX		25
E1 SPIRIT	RAZOR EX		10
EXPANSE	RAZOR EX		10
F7C HORNET MK I	RAZOR EX		36
F7C-R HORNET TRACKER MK I	RAZOR EX		10
F7C-S HORNET GHOST MK I	RAZOR EX		20
FREELANCER	RAZOR EX		51
FREELANCER DUR	RAZOR EX		25
FREELANCER MAX	RAZOR EX		10
GLADIUS VALIANT	RAZOR EX		51
HULL B	RAZOR EX		20
LEGIONNAIRE	RAZOR EX		41
MANTIS	RAZOR EX		10
NOVA	RAZOR EX		41
RAFT	RAZOR EX		36
RAZOR	RAZOR EX		15
RAZOR LX	RAZOR EX		10
TALON	RAZOR EX		46
TALON SHRIKE	RAZOR EX		46
CONSTELLATION AQUILA	RECLAIMER		93
CRUCIBLE	RECLAIMER		56
ENDEAVOR	RECLAIMER		56
GALAXY	RECLAIMER		25
GLAIVE	RECLAIMER		56
MOLE	RECLAIMER		93
STARFARER GEMINI	RECLAIMER		67
VALKYRIE	RECLAIMER		30
VULTURE	RECLAIMER		238
APOLLO MEDIVAC	REDEEMER		62
BLADE	REDEEMER		62
CONSTELLATION AQUILA	REDEEMER		20
ECLIPSE	REDEEMER		36
MERCURY STAR RUNNER	REDEEMER		77
MOLE	REDEEMER		20
STARFARER	REDEEMER		36
VANGUARD HARBINGER	REDEEMER		46
VANGUARD SENTINEL	REDEEMER		62
VANGUARD WARDEN	REDEEMER		77
ANVIL BALLISTA	SABRE		36
ANVIL BALLISTA DUNESTALKER	SABRE		36
ANVIL BALLISTA SNOWBLIND	SABRE		36
CUTLASS RED	SABRE		41
E1 SPIRIT	SABRE		25
EXPANSE	SABRE		25
F7C-R HORNET TRACKER MK I	SABRE		25
FREELANCER DUR	SABRE		41
FREELANCER MAX	SABRE		25
GLADIATOR	SABRE		10
HULL B	SABRE		36
MANTIS	SABRE		25
PROSPECTOR	SABRE		20
RAZOR	SABRE		30
RAZOR EX	SABRE		20
RAZOR LX	SABRE		25
SRV	SABRE		10
CUTLASS BLUE	SABRE COMET		15
E1 SPIRIT	SABRE COMET		41
F7C HORNET WILDFIRE MK I	SABRE COMET		15
FREELANCER MIS	SABRE COMET		15
GLADIATOR	SABRE COMET		25
KHARTU-AL	SABRE COMET		20
PROSPECTOR	SABRE COMET		36
RAZOR EX	SABRE COMET		36
SABRE	SABRE COMET		20
SRV	SABRE COMET		25
VULTURE	SABRE COMET		15
A1 SPIRIT	SANTOKYAI		46
CONSTELLATION TAURUS	SANTOKYAI		46
CUTLASS BLUE	SANTOKYAI		72
E1 SPIRIT	SANTOKYAI		98
F7C HORNET WILDFIRE MK I	SANTOKYAI		72
F7C-M SUPER HORNET MK I	SANTOKYAI		67
F7C-M SUPER HORNET HEARTSEEKER MK I	SANTOKYAI		46
FREELANCER MAX	SANTOKYAI		98
FREELANCER MIS	SANTOKYAI		72
GLADIATOR	SANTOKYAI		82
HURRICANE	SANTOKYAI		36
KHARTU-AL	SANTOKYAI		77
PROSPECTOR	SANTOKYAI		93
RAZOR EX	SANTOKYAI		93
RAZOR LX	SANTOKYAI		98
RETALIATOR	SANTOKYAI		72
SABRE	SANTOKYAI		77
SABRE COMET	SANTOKYAI		62
SRV	SANTOKYAI		82
VULCAN	SANTOKYAI		46
VULTURE	SANTOKYAI		72
A1 SPIRIT	SCORPIUS		46
CONSTELLATION TAURUS	SCORPIUS		46
CUTLASS BLUE	SCORPIUS		72
DEFENDER	SCORPIUS		25
F7C HORNET WILDFIRE MK I	SCORPIUS		72
F7C-M SUPER HORNET MK I	SCORPIUS		67
F7C-M SUPER HORNET HEARTSEEKER MK I	SCORPIUS		46
FREELANCER MIS	SCORPIUS		72
HURRICANE	SCORPIUS		36
RAILEN	SCORPIUS		20
SABRE COMET	SCORPIUS		62
SCORPIUS ANTARES	SCORPIUS		15
TERRAPIN	SCORPIUS		25
VULCAN	SCORPIUS		46
VULTURE	SCORPIUS		72
CONSTELLATION TAURUS	SCORPIUS ANTARES		36
DEFENDER	SCORPIUS ANTARES		15
F7C-M SUPER HORNET MK I	SCORPIUS ANTARES		56
F7C-M SUPER HORNET HEARTSEEKER MK I	SCORPIUS ANTARES		36
HURRICANE	SCORPIUS ANTARES		25
MANTIS	SCORPIUS ANTARES		88
RAILEN	SCORPIUS ANTARES		10
SABRE COMET	SCORPIUS ANTARES		51
TERRAPIN	SCORPIUS ANTARES		15
VULCAN	SCORPIUS ANTARES		36
ANVIL BALLISTA	SRV		30
ANVIL BALLISTA DUNESTALKER	SRV		30
ANVIL BALLISTA SNOWBLIND	SRV		30
CUTLASS RED	SRV		36
E1 SPIRIT	SRV		20
EXPANSE	SRV		20
F7C-R HORNET TRACKER MK I	SRV		20
FREELANCER DUR	SRV		36
FREELANCER MAX	SRV		20
HULL B	SRV		30
MANTIS	SRV		20
PROSPECTOR	SRV		15
RAZOR	SRV		25
RAZOR EX	SRV		15
RAZOR LX	SRV		20
APOLLO MEDIVAC	STARFARER		30
BLADE	STARFARER		30
MERCURY STAR RUNNER	STARFARER		46
VANGUARD HARBINGER	STARFARER		15
VANGUARD SENTINEL	STARFARER		30
VANGUARD WARDEN	STARFARER		46
APOLLO MEDIVAC	STARFARER GEMINI		72
BLADE	STARFARER GEMINI		72
CATERPILLAR	STARFARER GEMINI		15
CONSTELLATION AQUILA	STARFARER GEMINI		30
ECLIPSE	STARFARER GEMINI		46
MERCURY STAR RUNNER	STARFARER GEMINI		88
MOLE	STARFARER GEMINI		30
REDEEMER	STARFARER GEMINI		15
STARFARER	STARFARER GEMINI		46
VANGUARD HARBINGER	STARFARER GEMINI		56
VANGUARD SENTINEL	STARFARER GEMINI		72
VANGUARD WARDEN	STARFARER GEMINI		88
ARROW	STORM AA		30
AVENGER TITAN RENEGADE	STORM AA		30
AVENGER WARLOCK	STORM AA		20
CYCLONE-AA	STORM AA		25
GLADIUS	STORM AA		15
HERALD	STORM AA		20
HULL A	STORM AA		15
NOMAD	STORM AA		25
RELIANT MAKO	STORM AA		10
RELIANT SENTINEL	STORM AA		20
RELIANT TANA	STORM AA		30
STORM	STORM AA		15
SYULEN	STORM AA		36
ARROW	TALON		46
AVENGER TITAN RENEGADE	TALON		46
AVENGER WARLOCK	TALON		36
BUCCANEER	TALON		10
CENTURION	TALON		10
CUTLASS BLACK	TALON		10
CYCLONE-AA	TALON		41
FREELANCER	TALON		10
GLADIUS	TALON		30
GLADIUS VALIANT	TALON		10
HAWK	TALON		20
HERALD	TALON		36
HULL A	TALON		30
M50	TALON		20
NOMAD	TALON		41
RELIANT MAKO	TALON		25
RELIANT SENTINEL	TALON		36
RELIANT TANA	TALON		46
STORM	TALON		30
STORM AA	TALON		20
SYULEN	TALON		51
ARROW	TALON SHRIKE		46
AVENGER TITAN RENEGADE	TALON SHRIKE		46
AVENGER WARLOCK	TALON SHRIKE		36
BUCCANEER	TALON SHRIKE		10
CENTURION	TALON SHRIKE		10
CUTLASS BLACK	TALON SHRIKE		10
CYCLONE-AA	TALON SHRIKE		41
FREELANCER	TALON SHRIKE		10
GLADIUS	TALON SHRIKE		30
GLADIUS VALIANT	TALON SHRIKE		10
HAWK	TALON SHRIKE		20
HERALD	TALON SHRIKE		36
HULL A	TALON SHRIKE		30
M50	TALON SHRIKE		20
NOMAD	TALON SHRIKE		41
RELIANT MAKO	TALON SHRIKE		25
RELIANT SENTINEL	TALON SHRIKE		36
RELIANT TANA	TALON SHRIKE		46
STORM	TALON SHRIKE		30
STORM AA	TALON SHRIKE		20
SYULEN	TALON SHRIKE		51
A1 SPIRIT	TERRAPIN		25
CONSTELLATION TAURUS	TERRAPIN		25
CUTLASS BLUE	TERRAPIN		51
F7C HORNET WILDFIRE MK I	TERRAPIN		51
F7C-M SUPER HORNET MK I	TERRAPIN		46
F7C-M SUPER HORNET HEARTSEEKER MK I	TERRAPIN		25
FREELANCER MIS	TERRAPIN		51
HURRICANE	TERRAPIN		15
KHARTU-AL	TERRAPIN		56
SABRE	TERRAPIN		56
SABRE COMET	TERRAPIN		41
VULCAN	TERRAPIN		25
VULTURE	TERRAPIN		51
APOLLO MEDIVAC	VALKYRIE		108
BLADE	VALKYRIE		108
CATERPILLAR	VALKYRIE		51
CONSTELLATION AQUILA	VALKYRIE		67
CRUCIBLE	VALKYRIE		30
ECLIPSE	VALKYRIE		82
ENDEAVOR	VALKYRIE		30
GLAIVE	VALKYRIE		30
MERCURY STAR RUNNER	VALKYRIE		124
MOLE	VALKYRIE		67
REDEEMER	VALKYRIE		51
STARFARER	VALKYRIE		82
STARFARER GEMINI	VALKYRIE		41
VANGUARD HARBINGER	VALKYRIE		93
VANGUARD SENTINEL	VALKYRIE		108
VANGUARD WARDEN	VALKYRIE		124
400I	VANGUARD HARBINGER		46
400i	VANGUARD HARBINGER		46
APOLLO MEDIVAC	VANGUARD HARBINGER		20
APOLLO TRIAGE	VANGUARD HARBINGER		46
ARES INFERNO	VANGUARD HARBINGER		46
ARES ION	VANGUARD HARBINGER		46
BLADE	VANGUARD HARBINGER		20
CONSTELLATION ANDROMEDA	VANGUARD HARBINGER		56
CORSAIR	VANGUARD HARBINGER		46
MERCURY STAR RUNNER	VANGUARD HARBINGER		36
SCORPIUS	VANGUARD HARBINGER		56
VANGUARD HOPLITE	VANGUARD HARBINGER		56
VANGUARD SENTINEL	VANGUARD HARBINGER		20
VANGUARD WARDEN	VANGUARD HARBINGER		36
CONSTELLATION TAURUS	VANGUARD HOPLITE		46
DEFENDER	VANGUARD HOPLITE		25
F7C-M SUPER HORNET MK I	VANGUARD HOPLITE		67
F7C-M SUPER HORNET HEARTSEEKER MK I	VANGUARD HOPLITE		46
HURRICANE	VANGUARD HOPLITE		36
RAILEN	VANGUARD HOPLITE		20
SABRE COMET	VANGUARD HOPLITE		62
SCORPIUS ANTARES	VANGUARD HOPLITE		15
TERRAPIN	VANGUARD HOPLITE		25
VULCAN	VANGUARD HOPLITE		46
400I	VANGUARD SENTINEL		30
400i	VANGUARD SENTINEL		30
APOLLO TRIAGE	VANGUARD SENTINEL		30
ARES INFERNO	VANGUARD SENTINEL		30
ARES ION	VANGUARD SENTINEL		30
CONSTELLATION ANDROMEDA	VANGUARD SENTINEL		41
CONSTELLATION TAURUS	VANGUARD SENTINEL		82
CORSAIR	VANGUARD SENTINEL		30
DEFENDER	VANGUARD SENTINEL		62
HURRICANE	VANGUARD SENTINEL		72
MERCURY STAR RUNNER	VANGUARD SENTINEL		20
RAILEN	VANGUARD SENTINEL		56
SANTOKYAI	VANGUARD SENTINEL		41
SCORPIUS	VANGUARD SENTINEL		41
SCORPIUS ANTARES	VANGUARD SENTINEL		51
TERRAPIN	VANGUARD SENTINEL		62
VANGUARD HOPLITE	VANGUARD SENTINEL		41
VANGUARD WARDEN	VANGUARD SENTINEL		20
VULCAN	VANGUARD SENTINEL		82
400I	VANGUARD WARDEN		15
400i	VANGUARD WARDEN		15
APOLLO TRIAGE	VANGUARD WARDEN		15
ARES INFERNO	VANGUARD WARDEN		15
ARES ION	VANGUARD WARDEN		15
CONSTELLATION ANDROMEDA	VANGUARD WARDEN		25
CONSTELLATION TAURUS	VANGUARD WARDEN		67
CORSAIR	VANGUARD WARDEN		15
DEFENDER	VANGUARD WARDEN		46
F7C-M SUPER HORNET MK I	VANGUARD WARDEN		88
F7C-M SUPER HORNET HEARTSEEKER MK I	VANGUARD WARDEN		67
HURRICANE	VANGUARD WARDEN		56
RAILEN	VANGUARD WARDEN		41
SABRE COMET	VANGUARD WARDEN		82
SANTOKYAI	VANGUARD WARDEN		25
SCORPIUS	VANGUARD WARDEN		25
SCORPIUS ANTARES	VANGUARD WARDEN		36
TERRAPIN	VANGUARD WARDEN		46
VANGUARD HOPLITE	VANGUARD WARDEN		25
VULCAN	VANGUARD WARDEN		67
CUTLASS BLUE	VULCAN		30
E1 SPIRIT	VULCAN		56
F7C HORNET WILDFIRE MK I	VULCAN		30
F7C-M SUPER HORNET MK I	VULCAN		25
FREELANCER MAX	VULCAN		56
FREELANCER MIS	VULCAN		30
GLADIATOR	VULCAN		41
KHARTU-AL	VULCAN		36
PROSPECTOR	VULCAN		51
RAZOR EX	VULCAN		51
RAZOR LX	VULCAN		56
RETALIATOR	VULCAN		30
SABRE	VULCAN		36
SABRE COMET	VULCAN		20
SRV	VULCAN		41
VULTURE	VULCAN		30
350R	VULTURE		56
ANVIL BALLISTA	VULTURE		41
ANVIL BALLISTA DUNESTALKER	VULTURE		41
ANVIL BALLISTA SNOWBLIND	VULTURE		41
BUCCANEER	VULTURE		72
C1 SPIRIT	VULTURE		56
CENTURION	VULTURE		72
CUTLASS BLACK	VULTURE		72
CUTLASS RED	VULTURE		46
E1 SPIRIT	VULTURE		30
EXPANSE	VULTURE		30
F7C HORNET MK I	VULTURE		56
F7C-R HORNET TRACKER MK I	VULTURE		30
F7C-S HORNET GHOST MK I	VULTURE		41
FREELANCER	VULTURE		72
FREELANCER DUR	VULTURE		46
FREELANCER MAX	VULTURE		30
GLADIATOR	VULTURE		15
GLADIUS VALIANT	VULTURE		72
HAWK	VULTURE		82
HULL B	VULTURE		41
KHARTU-AL	VULTURE		10
LEGIONNAIRE	VULTURE		62
M50	VULTURE		82
MANTIS	VULTURE		30
NOVA	VULTURE		62
PROSPECTOR	VULTURE		25
RAFT	VULTURE		56
RAZOR	VULTURE		36
RAZOR EX	VULTURE		25
RAZOR LX	VULTURE		30
SABRE	VULTURE		10
SRV	VULTURE		15
STORM AA	VULTURE		82
TALON	VULTURE		67
TALON SHRIKE	VULTURE		67

​ ​

With all the discussion on the game going on I thought I would give my experiences throughout the years and editions I’ve played and my opinions on them.
I played 1.0 for at least three years before 2.0 came out had an absolute blast with it. There were some issues with balance for sure, ffg did an ok job in my opinion with rules adjustments and balancing cards so that kept the game fun for me. The balancing cards did mean it was a bit clunky and could be tough on new players who tried to run ships without the fixes but it did help. I never played the most competitive lists but I had a great time tinkering with lists and finding ship and upgrade combinations that could fit together to 100 points. I remember a lot of talk about ships and upgrades in 1.0 talking about how half a point up or down could balance things and how changing points slightly could balance things.
When 2.0 was released I was a bit hesitant at first and waited to buy in after the pre-release. I wanted to see what it was like first and see how all the pilots and upgrades were shaping up. I didn’t love the decrease in power of upgrades but their points decreased as well due to the 200 point system and variable points meant they could be balanced properly. In the end I converted within a month or so of release and was very glad that I did. To me 2.0 had a lot of the feel of 1.0 except that more of the ships and upgrades that I liked to list build had a chance of being viable and even if I couldn’t fit them together ffg often decreased points for underpowered things and would make me look at them again. The 200 point system doubled the granularity from 1.0 and made it so that even if something felt under or over powered ffg had the option of fine tuning the balance. I played 2.0 even more regularly than 1.0. I missed some of the fun upgrades from 1.0 but 2.0s overal balance and list viability put the emphasis heavily on flying even more so than 1.0 in my opinion.
I dropped out of in person play during the pandemic but followed along online and kept excitedly list building and testing on fly casual. When I decided to go back to my local store in person it was in the waning days of 2.0. When AMG introduced 2.5. I struggled for a long time to try to make the 2.5 changes work for me. I really tried. Load out I could get behind, the bumping changes were ok although I didn’t love how punishing it was to self bump and how forgiving it was to bump into an opponent. Yes bumping an opponent has downside, a red focus is not a good action but it is leaps and bounds over no action and potential damage for self bumping. I know why they added it but it still isn’t my favourite. Personally I loved flying in formation at least at certain times or with certain lists and these rules make that a lot worse. For me scenario play was a lateral move, I don’t dislike the idea and as a game mode I have played a lot of scenarios and had great fun, I guess I just don’t like it being the default, I liked the simplicity of just trying to fight your opponent. You had one goal and how you went about it was up to you. But all of these rules changes were not what I struggled with the most.
I have really struggled with list building in 2.5, not because it’s difficult, it’s very simple in concept. But part of the fun of 1.0 and 2.0 for me was finding cool combinations that few people had thought of before, bringing a list to the table and my opponent admiring the creativity if nothing else. And likewise I liked to admire what my opponents had come up with. I tried and tried to get this feeling back in the new system but I found myself gravitating towards only a few ships per faction and only a few pilots per ship. Once I have this narrow list there really were only 1-3 combinations of these pilots that added together make for a list I feel is viable in 2.5 and fits what I would actually like to fly in that faction. I feel a bit boxed in.
The other interesting observation I have made when list building in 2.5 is just how close my lists have become to the top meta lists. What I always liked to do in 1.0 and 2.0 was to build a list and then check online to see if anyone was flying something similar on list fortress. In 1.0 or 2.0 there were certainly times I saw similar lists but most of the time I had some uniqueness to my idea. In 2.5 most of the lists I land on turn out to be similar or even identical to lists I then found as winning lists online. Part of this is the standard load outs/quick builds but part of it is that it seems like most of the people list building also came down to that list of viable pilots on viable platforms that I had and there are only so many ways to fit them together at 20 points especially since there are only a few 2 point pilots. Granted upgrades are not always identical but even there I find they are often very similar or the same as net lists. I didn’t copy lists from list fortress for any edition but at this point it really feels like I wouldn’t have to, I can just come up with the same lists.
Because of this narrow list of options it does feel like there are a lot of wrong options like choosing pilots at the same points with lower load out and worse abilities or lower pilot skill. Generics are a straight up trap on most platforms with lower initiative, no ability and lower load out than named pilots at the same or lower cost. I worry that new players might choose them and feel bad after. I would honestly prefer they were just banned for the platforms AMG does not want them run on. I also understand why they have under priced most standard load outs but when you compare the amount of load out to comparable pilots it is often a much better choice. This adds to the lock of variability in squads I can build and that I see across the table.
I have tried to play 2.5 games for awhile now on and off, watched 2,5 matches and tried to build so many lists and I simply am not having as much fun. I know this version is the preferred version of a lot of players and that is totally ok, I am not writing to bring that down at all. I just wanted to share my opinion on the state of the game and my experiences with it.
Despite my experiences with 2.5 being less than those of 1.0 and 2.0, I am making an attempt in the last few weeks to re-enter the game. My local group is playing 2.5 and so I am planning on playing weekly, if for no other reason than getting to play regularly again and to hang out with other people who love x-wing. I would rather be playing 2.0 or probably even go back to 1.0 but playing with my friends is more important so that’s where I’ve landed. Maybe I’ll try to sprinkle in some games of 2.0 legacy if people are up for it but in the end at least I’m playing the game I fell in love with all those years ago with cool people. I would love to hear an in depth discussion of all this in the comments regardless of whether you agree or disagree with any of my points but let’s all try to keep it respectful and remember we are all here for this same great game, regardless of edition. Fly casual everyone.

ChaCha has added "wedding expert" to her resume! Not that she's had one...or probably ever even been invited to one.
Does this woman ever get invited ANYWHERE? Does she have any idea how social gatherings work? I'm actually astounded at her take on the wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Westminster. Her insane rage about the Prince of Wales is ridiculous.
All of William’s leaking and briefing about Hugh’s wedding, and all he got was a shuttle ride, a position as an usher and no date. I wonder if Hugh even specified that William could not bring a plus-one. After the wedding service, William was seen hanging out with long-time friends like Rosie van Cutsem and dark-haired guy, who is probably Rosie’s husband William van Cutsem.
It's obvious she has no idea what the role of an usher is at a wedding.
And the dark-haired guy was "probably" Willam van Cutsem? That's some crack journalism there, ChaCha. Too lazy to even google.
William obviously didn’t come to the wedding with Kate, and it looks like he didn’t bring Prince George either. There were no photos of George, although there was some pre-wedding buzz that George would be one of the page boys, especially given that Hugh is George’s godfather. People Mag says George wasn’t there, likely because it was a school day. Apparently, someone in the crowd shouted "best wishes to Kate" as William exited the cathedral. He apparently “gave a nod and waved” in response. It’s bizarre that he seems so grumpy whenever anyone reminds him that his wife is supposed to be ill.
Here she goes again with reacting to a story in People magazine. Who cares what People magazine posts? People isn't even a British mag. Doesn't her internet provider allow her to see British publications?
And how is giving a nod and waving considered grumpy behavior? What was he supposed to do when people wished him the best? Fall to his knees and sob?
Then she starts frothing at the mouth about the Middletons not being at the wedding
where were the Middletons? All of the wisteria-sistering, all of that social climbing, and none of the Middletons were invited to the social event of the season? I have the feeling that Carole Middleton’s social climbing/hustler days are over, now that she’s been so thoroughly exposed as a rampant fraud. But what about Pippa and Terribly Moderately Wealthy James Matthews? What about James Middleton? Why weren’t they invited?
ChaCha is sooooooooo unnerved about the Middletons!!
She is twisting herself into knots over a beautiful wedding which is hardly surprising.
She has another post today criticizing the new Duchess of Middleton's wedding dress and shoes and a plywood platform used for photos and pretty much everything and of course throws in a mention of Meghan and I just can't.

I just don’t understand why its not “Billie & finneas” most of the music is composed by him (guitar and piano), production has always been by him, and he has actually written so many of her iconic lines. two i can think of “if teardrops could be bottled, thered be swimming pools filled by models” and “but the old me is still me and maybe the real me and i think she’s pretty” also he is the only responsible for almost every creative decision in terms of song structure. On HMHAS finneas said he was trying to let billie do most the writing so he would just be silent and at first billie was thrown off by it. I just think because the brand is called only by her name most people have no idea how much finneas contributes to the work. He has said many times that it doesn’t bother him and he is just as happy for her as he would be for himself, obviously because they’re siblings. But from a consumer standpoint it makes absolutely no sense why the music is only by “billie eilish”

So I (23 yo nonbinary person) have been dealing with EXTREME panic attacks and anxiety attacks that are so cripplingly bad I’ve been hospitalized and have physical symptoms (ie chest pains, arm pains, sometimes I forget to breathe, night sweats, smelling burning or rubbing alcohol, blurry vision, and the worst one INTENSE fear of death!) I have always been scared of dying do to being raised by Christian extremists and I have had depression since I was 10-11 years old.
My life has been nothing but psychiatrist visits, pills upon pills, and therapy once every week and twice every two weeks, I thought things were getting better when I didn’t have a panic attack for about 5 months and I got a new job!!
I love my coworkers and I actually really like my life rn, I’m moving in with my best friend in the next year and I’ve been doing a lot better socially and mentally, until this week. My panic attacks came outta nowhere harder and worse than ever to the point where I 24 hours every day have been feeling like I’m on the brink of a seizure, heart attack, or my favorite one that totally didn’t make me freak out like a wild animal was when it mimicked a stroke where my aunt had to call 911.
Apparently my body is completely and perfectly healthy, I’m EXTREMELY active as I run/do ballet for about 2-4 hours every day and nothing is wrong with my heart even though it feels like it’s standing on its last leg.
My panic attacks have been affecting my life like no tomorrow lately, making me lose sleep, I can’t eat, I’m miserable because I just feel like I’m fading away into nothing and my heart is slowing down by the second, so I’ve been calling out of work. It’s a miracle if I don’t call out at least once a week now with just how much physical and mental pain I am in, and I can just feel my coworkers are just tired of me always having “some excuse” to not come in.
I’ve lost almost all of my work friends because of this and another one of my coworkers lied about me not actually being sick and said they “saw me go on a shopping spree” the same day I was laid up in bed screaming and clinging onto my brother’s arm trying to make things right with god before I die.
I honestly do not know what to do, I’ve done literally everything in my power to fix this!! It’s destroying my life and my ability to make my last deposit for when I move out, I have absolutely NO reason to feel this way (maybe I feel guilty for abandoning my parents extremist faith, being a lesbian, vaping, smoking pot and loving to day drink and it’s just all hitting me at once) I just don’t know what to do, I can’t even do ballet anymore without my heart feeling like it’s stopping or my body going slack and shaking. If there’s anyone on here that could help me in anyway please let me know I need all the help I can get because this is destroying my extremely young life because I’m in pain and scared of death.

He told me about how he was going to a rave with his friend that’s a woman. He has a lot of female friends so naturally I’m okay with it. But in person he told me about how his friend has no curtains and asked to stay over in his basement since the spare room down there is really dark. He told me all of this himself so I feel as though he told me it as a way for me to trust him instead of hiding it from me. I tried to probe how he met this friend but I didn’t really get much other than “14 months ago in ny”. I don’t want to be perceived as being jealous. I just don’t know if it’s fair to me to ask him to set boundaries. But why do I still feel so weird about it. He saw that I was upset and started saying all these sweet things afterwards but I still feel so conflicted. What should I do?

Hi Dads -
Looking for some advice or encouragement on how I can help support my wife and son through sleep training. Here’s the details:
Son has been nursed and safely co-slept since a few days after birth. We are expecting a little girl now and are in the second trimester. Momma needs rest. Son is 13 months and we started the transition off of nursing but he still does it to soothe and also fall asleep. It’s a routine. We’ve gotten him to fall asleep after his bath and bottle now with his mom and she’ll put him to bed in his crib. Then we struggle all night with him waking and needing to be put back down. Sometimes we’ve caved and just brought him into our bed again because we’re needing sleep. The hardest part about all of this is that my son loves me and wants me during the day all the way til after bath and reading time. Once we get there he doesn’t want me at all and will scream / cry for mom. If I go in the middle of the night he is so upset that it’s me. If I’m the one who gets him in the morning or from a nap, then he’s so happy and smiley to see me. It’s just hard because it seems like at night he won’t let me put him to sleep or even let me sit down anywhere (the chair or ball). So I’m just standing and swaying. Last night momma went to put him down and he kept saying dada, so we swapped and he got upset. I stood and rocked, shhed easily, and continued to affirmed that I love him and that he was okay, etc. for almost 30 minutes until my wife caved and came back in. He fell asleep within 5 mins after she took back over. I’m not sure how to help. It’s disheartening to see him not want me during the night but he will fall asleep in my arms during the day. I have to help my wife because she’s expecting and so exhausted. We don’t know what to do. Any advice, empathy, or help is greatly welcomed and appreciated.

I already made the first post regarding episode 1 and 2, here are the links, if you are interested:
https://www.reddit.com/PolinBridgerton/comments/1d8p07y/analysing_thematic_imagery_of_season_3_episode_1/
https://www.reddit.com/PolinBridgerton/comments/1daa5se/analysing_thematic_imagery_of_season_3_episode_2/
Same note as before: I do not claim all of these thoughts as originals of mine, I am not taking credit for noticing what others already noticed, and feel free to credit those who were first in comments. Also feel free to comment what you see and I do not! Or challenge me or mine.
I shall do my best to deliver analysis of the fourth episode before part 2 drops.
General imagery of the season so far (feel free to skip if you read the last post or posts):
The main thematic imagery of this season is reflection; how characters are perceived by others and how they deal with those perceptions. It ties to both leads, who were given roles by society which they must fight from time to time, and how society’s perception of them changes and controls them. Mirror imagery was important throughout the previous season not only for Pen and Colin, however in this season in particular, mirror imagery appears very often, and I expected it to continue (ehem ehem).
Tied closely to reflection imagery, we see the dichotomy of light and shadows. This dichotomy is alluded to by titles of 3 episodes of the whole season; and through this dichotomy, social roles and expectations are established. Colin is in the light, showered by compliments from members of the Ton, while Pen is forced to be in the shadows. She uses the shadows as LW to her advantage, while Colin uses his power within the light to his advantage.
The general idea is that Pen needs to decide whether she wants to stay in the shadows, which might be easier, or whether she is willing to take a risk by stepping into the light. Other characters are also haunted by their reflections. I shall dive into it in each episode.
Episode 3: Forces of Nature
While the second episode heavilly relied on the dichotomy of the day and the night to showcase masculine and feminine power, the third episode features dichotomy of nature and humanity. I have very briefly touched upon it in previous analysis regarding the promenade, when Pen asks whether she can learn to flirt through books and the moment was juxtaposed with the nature behind our leads.
It is not a new dichotomy for the show. We can for example remember the ending of episode 6 from previous season ("Animals require no contracts or dowries. The hen and a rooster make no vows. Leave it to people to complicate matters with their ceremonies and their cakes.").
The nature represents the attraction and longing, while the humanity represents either obstacles in following our desires, or simply a rationale to be "sensible" instead. Lady Whistledown acknowledges that people can somewhat triumph ("Humankind has accomplished extraordinary feats in its attempt to compete against nature."), but the episodes concludes that not only will the nature win in the end, the battle does not even include the nature, but the people who fight themselves. Basically concluding that there are no winners.
"All of man's greatest inventions are nothing more than a distraction from which is most natural to us. Our instincts. The innate animal impulse that is inside even the most sophisticated of us. For all is said and done, our nature will always win out."
Both Penelope and Colin fail to fight their own feelings in this episode.
While the natural forces refer to inner desires, we might focus on the literal natural forces which symbolize them: the Featherington garden (aka the place of crime), and the fire; the most featured in this episode, though, is the wind. The natural force which ensured the first meeting of our leads and (at least according to the books and trailer for part 2), caused Penelope to fall for Colin, as he (literally) fell from his horse.
I shall get to it more later. Let's go again scene by scene.
Third episode begins with Colin's dream. Dreams are of course heavilly linked with both Colin, Pen and their desires. Ironically, Colin's dream represents his waking up Marina alluded to in the last season ("You are a boy, caught up in his own fantasies... You need to wake up, Colin!").
While Penelope stopped dreaming and gave up on her "fantasy" after Colin's comment in the end of season 2 ("I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington, not in your wildest fantasies."), Colin is awaken at the same place, in a cheeky way, by his dream.
The Featherington garden represents crucial moments of their relationship so far. Firstly, it was the place where he broke her heart by his statement, and sparked her intention to marry. Secondly, of course, it was the place where they came to their agreement, with her agreeing to move from him by accepting his help, while he put himself in a vulnerable position to face feelings he did not acknowledge before. Thirdly, it is the place where he was forced to face his feelings VERY directly by agreeing to kiss her.
Colin's subcontious wants to "repair" the moment. It is cheeky for Colin to apologize for the late hour, which might have been appropriate for their last meeting, as well.
Fans have had a lot of fun dissecting Colin's psyche, as Colin's dream features basically every cliché of a raunchy romance novel, which is, of course, very intentional. The first shot features the fire burning, symbolizing Colin's realized feelings. The fog might either allude to the mystery whether Colin's love is requited, or to form a "protection from the gazes of others".
This episode offers a lot storytelling through clothing with Colin especially, and I shall dive to each of his looks. Generally speaking, Colin trades vulnerability for his armor repeatedly in the first half of the episode, culminating in his Innovations Ball look, which I find the most vulnerable.
Colin in his dream is dressed similarly as he was in the end of episode 2, however, his neck is now bare, alluding to his vulnerability. Pen's neckline is lower, her loose hair as well as the fit of the gown make it seem like she is in her nightgown. Still, it is very respectable look for a wet dream, likely to showcase and hammer that Colin did not found vulnerability anew, not sexual desire.
I find it interesting that the shot does not start with Colin walking into the frame, who is the one dreaming, but with Penelope. Perhaps the intention was to try to mess with fans and give them the impression it is Pen who dreams. Colin does not get confirmation of her feelings until he admits his. Again, Colin is the vulnerable this time, not Penelope. The scene focuses much more on her pleasure than his, either to again fool the audience, or again, to sell the difference.
As Colin wakes up, we get more visual clues in the globe and the map, likely alluding to his travelling experience, which are connected to his sexuality. The other is, of course, that his blanket is yellow, a color tied to Pen (resembling the shal Violet has in the portrait, again to sell the paraller of the couples, even before Violet states it to the audience at the end of this episode). He looks to the window, which might allude to him trying to find her, as she lives accross the street, which he likely did for the first time in last episode, or trying to find the light, representing a) his social role as a popular charming rake, and b) his masculine power.
Gregory's injury might thematically tie to multiple things. Gregory was established as a cupid, who pierces Colin's heart, and who now can't do so, meaning that Colin is trapped. Gregory can also represent Colin himself as he can't even properly eat with his injury, which was something Colin also mentioned of not being able to do so. We know that Gregory falls injures the hand before he has a chance to see the balloon, which might foreshadow the ending of the episode, when Colin tries to find the answer, only to not get it and be hurt.
Colin comes to the drawing room in a brown vest. The color of the vest reminds me of his pirate coat, and I wonder whether it is basically his "casual armor", the one he wears around his family now, not wanting them to know of his feelings. It is also worth pointing out that when Colin walks in, he goes to his brothers who sit seperately from the sisters and the mother, almost to shocase Colin's tendency to trying to follow male squad, even the toxic one.
Our dearest prophetess Hyacinth strikes again by mentioning Penelope. It is worth noting that while Colin is distressed, he still realizes that he likely hurt Eloise by commenting on Lady Whistledown finding about their ordeal, and seems to attempt to follow her to make sure she is fine. Colin can't refer to Penelope as his or as a friend, so he opts to refers to her as the acquaintance of the whole family and sips the tea this time. Colin's drinking is a recurring gag this season, showcasing his growing attraction towards Pen.
From the Queen's and Agatha's meeting, we get an interesting gag of the male suitors being thrown. Penelope fell for Colin when he fell from the horse, which is rather cheeky to remember when the one falling this time is Debling.
Penelope leaves her room just in time for her to a) be reminded of the importance of producing an heir, b) be reminded of her reasons she intended to find a husband, hearing her sisters. I believe that it is Eloise's comment that sparks Pen's hope to find a husband once again, as she gets her blessing. Penelope knew she couldn't stay away for long, but to keep her column, not because she gained hope.
It is quite reasonable that Penelope chose to promenade after week in her room. We are left to wonder why Colin choose to do so and if he was perhaps trying to see her. However, from his expression, I do believe that he was surprised to see her. Colin is the one who follows Pen this episode, showcasing the change in the dynamic. Penelope often followed him instead in the previous episode.
Penelope's styling seems very childish, with her ribbons, hair to the side and pinkish and lilac tone of her dress, perhaps a visual way for her to distance herself from the ordeal and that kiss. Colin is wearing the style akin to previous seasons, with his armor being left home. They are children once again. The willow the meet under might symbolize innocence, protection, childhood, as it somewhat shields them from the Ton. The long distance show might allude to them suddenly feeling a gap between themselves, or perhaps a need to keep their distance after the whole ordeal.
It is cheeky that Penelope relies on her double identity when asked for a reasoning. She might have just as easily pointed out the Ton itself, instead, she uses Lady Whistledown she disparaged in the last episode. Just as Colin refered to the Pen in regards to all Bridgertons, Penelope refers to her and his family regarding the embarassment. Pen thanking Colin for his kindness is of course very funny paraller to her comment about his cruelty in episode 1; a comment which might have hurt him the same.
Debling starts the episode as the hunted "prey", not only as Cressida (and later Pen) is after him, but by himself, as he wants to find a hiding place. However, Debling of course changes into the "predator" later.
Stowell House in general does not seem particularly inviting. It either displays mirrors or the "prey" on the walls, signalling Pen's entrapment. Penelope does not hide even in her corner, where she is found by the toxic buddies.
Penelope assures her mother that Ton will likely be distracted by the new scandal. Portia of course does not know that it is Penelope herself who is Lady Whistledown, and who might have a chance to publish such a scandal, but only if Pen leaves her hideout. Pen later offers social contagion as a joke, which might be a fun way of alluding to her double identity, as she holds a bit of power regarding social assesment.
Mirror imagery is quite cheeky regarding our leads and Debling. Pen's back is seen in mirror behind her, which might signal that she is currently social outcast, still uncomfortable after the incident, or visual signal of Pen hiding her identity.
With Colin's arrival, it is Pen who looks at him first, just when he looks at Eloise. Colin notices and continues to look, while Pen looks away and hides as a "prey". Colin turns away and we see a glimpse of him in the mirror. Pen fell first, but he fell harder. Colin flees the mirror, as he will continue to do so in this episode, following her.
Debling does not mind the mirror at all (something he seems to share with Agatha and Benedict) and as Pen becomes more comfortable, the mirror seems to dissapear from the shot. It is worth pointing out that both Colin and Debling have waistcoats with yellow ornaments, alluding to both of them being interested in Pen.
Colin is accompanied by the candles both when Eloise mentions Penelope, as well as when he is "assessing his pupil", alluding to his growing love. I do not think it was unintentional to have Alice mention his "kindheartedness", after Penelope thanks him for his "kindness". Not only do both mention the possibility of a different suitor, they also use similar language when speaking of Colin's role in it, rubbing the idea deeper.
Even more cheeky is that Alice does not refer to Penelope by name, only as a pupil, while Colin comments on it as "gossip" finding their home. Colin refers to Whistledown when asked about Penelope; while Pen is, of course, both subject of the gossip as well as its source as lady Whistledown.
Eloise'a and Cressida's scene alludes to Eloise walking to the crossroads and choosing a path she might regret. Eloise does not help Cressida much, but it is enough for her to easily win over Pen at first.
Finally, we get likely the most in face reference of the episode: Hawkins Balloon, with its blue and yellow stripes. It likely symbolizes our leads, with Colin seeing the balloon (aka embracing the opportunity of them becoming a couple), while Pen ignores it in favour of Debling.
Colin arrives in his armor, aka with his pirate coat firmly on. But his defence crumble rather quickly. He follows Penelope immedietely. At first, he follows her instruction to focus on sweets, but more and more into the scene, he just begins to look at Pen, the only exception is when Pen compliments Debling, as he feels a need to hide his feelings.
Colin loses his battle while seeing Pen eating the cake. The cake symbolized sex even back in 102, when Pen asks Marina how did she become pregnant. What is striking, though, that the next time Colin is shown on screen, he took off his coat and seems to finish Penelope's cake. Colin lets his armor down, just before his heroic moment.
The balloon is representation of a human attempt to "triumph" over the nature, to "conquer the wind". Funnily, as Colin with the help of his squad protects the balloon and wins over the wind, he loses his own battle against it internally, as the wind represents his desire for Penelope. Colin finds courage and allows himself to be vulnerable (by leaving the pirate coat, his armor, behind in the arms of one of his toxic buddies), only for him to find Penelope in Debling's embrace. Eloise and Cressida's remarks might be quite cruel foreshadowing for the later events. "It is good thing no one was injured." "Who says I wasn't?"
The distress of Colin at Innovations Ball is implied with his darker waistcoat, bare neck and him adjusting his jacket. Colin attempts his best to smile for Eloise, but it is a rather unsuccesful attempt. If I dare say, Colin seems like he is attending funeral. His question whether a man can be pensive is rather interesting, not only as it is pun on Penelope's name, but as Colin asks basically if he can be himself.
Penelope and Portia ignore the lamp, the sorce of fire and light, which I would argue, represents the love between Pen and Colin.
Benedict refers to Francesca as "his shield" from the debutantes, and we see Benedict succeeding in fleeing the debutantes with the sister by his side. Eloise, on the other hand, leaves Colin to them, leaving him "unprotected". This is hammered with Violet, who without the children by her side, becomes the target of Marcus. It is no wonder Francesca finds her man when she is allowed to return to her familiar shadows, with fireplace representing love, passion and desire once again. Benedict, too, fails to "battle the nature", as he finds himself in the embrace of his newest partner, after he meets her at the staircase, with her looking down on him.
As the debutantes ask Colin if he is as heroic on the dancefloor, Colin moves his head instead of answering, while we get the shot of Pen holding her own dancecard. It is quite clear. Colin is losing his chance.
While Penelope's and Cressida's race is for comedic effect, it showcases that a lot of times, women fight over guys they might even want, just because they fear someone else will snatch them. While Cressida is pressured to be married, no one points out that she almost married Jack last season, someone who turned out to be a schemer. Daphne won her own "race", only to end up with Simon. Cressida fails to gain Colin's attention in season 1 and 2 mostly due to her treatment of Penelope and Daphne.
Penelope finds herself on the crossroads between Colin and Debling. She chooses to look at Colin, showcasing to the audience that Pen is romantic at heart. While Colin answers the question of debutantes, he is in fact encouraging himself, but as he can't help but look at her, she takes it as his confirmation of wishing her good luck as a mentor. Just as Pen unknowingly let Colin down in willow scene with her words, Colin just done the same. Cheekily, Debling asks whether Pen has trouble with the balloon, while she answers "not at present". As she gave up on Colin in that instance.
Penelope herself pretends to love nature to secure herself a naturalist, ignoring her own desire to be with Colin. Ironically, she secures the naturalist by openly stating she does not really care about nature, when she cares about what nature represents in this episode. Debling giving Pen lemonade ties narratively to Pen leaving the lemonade at the table during the Full-Moon ball, as well as her leaving it at drawing scene with Colin.
I believe that Debling caught on Colin's feelings at this instant. The reason I believe so is that Pen's dance card was still blank and Pen gave Colin time to react. Debling did not ask Penelope for dance beforehand, and she hoped that Colin would speak... which is something Colin might have realized once Penelope gives Debling his hand and dance card is visible to him.