Hey everyone, it’s Andrei, from Inspo Stories!
I love to do deep researches and interviews with successful founders and their businesses on how they got started
Today, I have a super inspiring study on Typefully Bootstrapped Saas: From $0 to $113K MRR

How was the idea born?

Typefully exists now because Fabrizio (co-founder) wanted a tool to write twitter Threads. So he started build one 4+ years ago

How the cofounders met?

They met through Twitter in 2011. They were part of the same bubble of Italian teenagers interested in tech (specifically Apple at the time). They had tons of micro-interactions throughout the years via Twitter and were both passioned about apps and great UX.
Fabrizio reach out to Francesco about building a camera app for iOS. He took the offer but, after a short collab, they dropped the project. Nothing came out of it in the end. You can consider it our first 'failure'
After that, they kept following and interacting with each other for months.
At some point in 2015, Fabrizio tweeted about a concept of a Mac app wrapping Inbox by Gmail and Francesco DM’d him a prototype after a few hours.
That project was Bboxysuite, their first successful project together. They sold it with a good exit🎉 After that, they kept working together on bigger and bigger projects.

Getting first 1000 users in one day

Launch day: 16k page visits, 1,432 Signups, $155 Revenue
The traffic breakdown reveals what happened:

• Hacker News: 6.3k
• Twitter: 2.1k
• ProductHunt: 1.9k

And they also managed to hit the Hacker News frontpage.
The perfect formula was:

• interesting product
• no-bullshit title
• sparking a controversial discussion in the comments.

When it comes to Twitter, we have been building a following there for some time, so it was a matter of publishing the right tweet, at the right time, and getting the right people to retweet it
For Product Hunt, we partnered with our friend Chris. His followers got a notification when he hunted us, but we also did our part and emailed our lists. That helped to get fast on the front page and to kickstart the discussion

How got to the HackerNews front page three times in a row

What's the point, though? Those articles took me 1-2 hours to write and resulted in 40k+ visits to this blog, hundreds of signups for Typefully and Mailbrew, and many Twitter followers

1. "Select a topic. HN is a community of entrepreneurial hackers, naturally curious about company building, startups, programming, technical topics, and understanding the world. Writing about those topics will help but is not required. In fact, you can write about anything as long as your writing is intellectually honest, in-depth, and does not try to sell something."
2. "Pick the right title. The title should describe exactly what the post is about. No marketing is allowed. Think of the title more as a commit message than a headline."
3. "Don't try to outsmart HN readers. You can safely assume that the average HN reader is smarter than you. They have a radar for bullshit. You are either telling a story, describing a problem, showing something you built, or not getting to the front page. This should influence your title and style of writing. Notice in the titles above and in my writing how I am simply describing my experience, not trying to teach anything."
4. "Be responsive in the comments. Engaging with people in the comments is the funniest part of the front-page experience. I usually write in a void and getting the diverse feedback that HN delivers is a ton of fun. I believe starting a discussion is also key in getting people to click and upvote your post. I don't take comments too seriously or personally. While the average HN reader may be smarter than me, there is a lot of variance."
5. "Dance like nobody's watching. I write for myself, and when I get a good feeling about a post, I submit it, trying not to overthink it."

Read the full article here
We put a 4 hours into this research and it’s covering mostly all aspects:

• Free to Paid conversions improvement hack
• 30 days challenge, Black Friday & Twitter Growth Strategies
• 100k MRR SaaS Tech stack Detailed, $3K/m costs
• Hiring
• Twitter is the ultimate opportunity finder

This story is personally inspiring me, I love growth and building profitable businesses, so I hope you will feel the same energy from it!

This is gonna be long so bear with me pls. I (f21) used to hook up with this guy (m22), I started liking him a lot, he said he wasn’t interested in a relationship. I didn’t take it personally plus I was transferring to another school abroad at the end of the year and then I’d probably never see him again.
About 3 months after i moved (so march 2023) he spontaneously booked a flight and came to visit me during spring break, he stayed with me and we were together basically the whole time, we hooked up but it was kind of an fwb situation? but throughout he kept dropping hints which I decided to ignore since I knew he wasn’t interested in being more than friends.
I do want to mention that I come from a rather well to do family and i might be a little spoilt in the sense that my family pays my tuition so I don’t have student loans and I get my rent money and some pocket money from home because my family doesn’t want me to work yet so I can focus on school more, but since I moved I have been working 2 jobs (without my family knowing) to save money because I like to live comfortably, go shopping, travel, and I’m trying to save up for my masters so I’m pretty comfortable financially, which he saw on his visit since I paid for p much everything. (Now that I think about it, I took a leave from work and didn’t have school that week so he didn’t actually see how hard I work, to him i was just chilling all day and living rich).
When he went back after his visit he kept talking ab how he has such a good time with me and how he really likes me and we started talking a lot more and I was kinda into him again. After like a month he started telling me that he wants to stop seeing other people and he dsnt want me to see other people either, still no mention of a relationship but he wanted to be exclusive. I had been on a couple dates since I moved but I wasn’t really interested in anyone so I agreed. Within a month of that (so june 2023) he started saying he loves me and for the longest time I hesitated to say it back but eventually i did. He kept saying he wants to visit me again etc but he cnt afford it. I agreed to pay bec i wanted to see him too but I thought that since I didn’t have school all month we could go on a little vacation instead of just him coming over, since I could afford it. We planned an trip for July and decided everything but before I paid for anything I asked him if he sees this ever turning into a relationship and he told me no at first but after i said if it’s not going anywhere (I was going to pay for his flights, all the stay and we would split the money we spend there) I don’t want to invest financially in it like time is one thing but i work really hard for the money, he said he just doesn’t feel like he’s ready for a relationship now but gave me hope saying that might change as we spend time together. I was naive enough to fall for that and we went on our little vacation.
Towards the end of the vacation like 2 days before we were supposed to go back, we were at a club and I was sitting down with my drink while he was on the floor and I saw him make a snapchat call and he was on it for a while and in the middle of it his screen lit up and a girl’s (let’s call her K) bitmoji was on it, so i went up to him to ask who he was talking to, he straight up lied and told me it was one of his guy friends and i just went and sat back down. After he finished the call he came and sat next to me and held his phone in a way that he obviously wanted me to look at the screen bec he had called his guy friend now the bitmoji was on the screen, which was such a failure because his guy friend didn’t even answer the phone he just showed me the “ringing” screen. I didn’t say anything tho because we both were pretty drunk and I didn’t want to start a fight in that condition. The next was our last night there and it went well but on the way back to our hotel at the end of the night i forgot my phone in the uber and used his phone to call the uber driver to ask if there was any way i could get it back. He was almost passed put by the time the uber driver came back around to bring my phone so i asked him if i could take his phone outside while i go to bring my phone just in case I need to contact the driver, he agreed and unlocked his phone and gave it to me. When i was going, K called him and i just rejected the call but then she sent him like a million texts and my suspicion got the best of me and I opened the chat. I barely had to scroll up before I saw several explicit msgs and photos (all very recent) and it made me sick to my stomach. I got my phone back and went back to the room to find him passed out I threw his phone at him and he woke up and we talked about it basically all night, I was crying like the whole time and in the end he promised me he wouldn’t do it again and he only wants to be with me and all this other emo (and in hindsight, toxic) crap that I fell for at the time and the next day we flew back.
Things were okay for like 2 months after that. On Halloween we were both on facetime, getting ready to go to halloween parties (in our respective countries lol) and I was telling him how to do his makeup (he really likes my style and often asks me for advice on clothes, makeup, hair etc) we talked for a while it was all great and after we got ready we ended the call and I went to the party (it was like 10min from my place) and as soon as I got there I tried to send him a snap but couldn’t find him on my snapchat friend list, so i tried to text him on Instagram only to find he had blocked me, on everything.
I DID NOT handle that well. After he had been nc for a week, he called me. Of course, I couldn’t resist and answered. He asked for help with a school project (I would often help him with things like that, even tho he was in a much complex course i would learn his stuff and then help him with homework and stuff). Even tho I was not in good condition physically bec of the withdrawals and even tho he hadn’t even addressed the fact that he had blocked me on everything out of nowhere I decided to help him again because I was just so desperate to talk to him and I basically made the whole thing for him and he got a good grade, he thanked me and stuff and when i asked him why he blocked me he just said “idk i was just upset idk why” he just always refused to talk about it. But i mean social media is so accessible, i did see that he had been commenting on K’s old Instagram posts (he commented on ALL her posts actually) throughout the week, so i’m sure it had something to do with her, but I didn’t ask because he seemed irritable whenever i would bring it up.
We started talking like before again, he graduated (i’m still in school) and we planned for another vacation for new years eve. Big surprise, even tho he was the one who proposed the trip, now he was unemployed so he couldn’t afford it, again. And another big surprise, I agreed to pay for it again. It was all good except I brought about $1000 in cash to spend on the trip and every time I took money out of it he would comment about how it was such a “fat stack” which sussed me out a little but whatever. About halfway through the trip I got really drunk and passed out and when I woke up the next morning all my cash was gone and I asked him if he kept it with him and he refused and got mad at me for losing such a big amount of money (as if I wasn’t stressed enough) and how he was going to have to pay now (hotels and flights were already paid for, he’d be paying for drinks and food basically). I still don’t think he would steal from me bec if he wanted money he could just ask and I would have just given him and not even asked for it back but there’s nowhere it could’ve gone because I never took the whole cash out of the hotel room and it was just us two there. I didn’t want to accuse him of anything so i let that go and never mentioned it. But that was the first time I got sus ab him with the money.
Fast forward to two months ago, we planned another trip (to my home country this time) which was supposed to be two weeks long but while we were there we were having so much fun that we kept extending it and it ended up being a month long. I saved up hella for this trip because I knew exactly what hotels I wanted to stay at, what places i wanted to go etc and i knew it was gonna be kinda expensive but even then because we stayed much longer it also costed way more than expected. At this point he didn’t even have to tell me he couldn’t afford it, it was just understood that i would be paying since he was still unemployed. But this time he had this new credit card and wanted to increase his credit score so he asked if i could use his cards to book everything and pay HIM back instead, i was like sure whatever. So i booked both our flights on my card and hotels and stuff on his. We had the best time on this trip, felt closer to him than ever so I didn’t mind paying. We decided that I would give him a certain amount in cash (to avoid international transfer fee) and transfer the rest (because countries have a limit on how much cash u can bring without having to report to customs). Once again towards the end of the trip I saw he was still talking to that girl, and it wasn’t just sexual, he called her the same nicknames he called me, he sent her the same reels and stuff on Instagram that he sent me it was like reading his chats with me. I didn’t say anything then, but a couple hours later I asked him if we should see other people too, like keep seeing each other but also see other people (i even said “we both” so he dsnt feel the need to get defensive) and he said no he dsnt want to and he dsnt even want me to. Him lying again when i gave him a chance to end his lie really broke my heart completely (bec at this point he was just lying for the sake of it) but it was just 3 days before we were gonna leave so i decided not to ruin the rest of the trip and end things with him after I paid him back for the credit card (I’d already given him more than half the amount in cash as soon as we met). When we were booking flights to go back he insisted that be take pne with a layover in a third completely put of the way country because it was cheaper and i was like sure, but then he also said because it’s two really long flights he wants to stay in this third country for a couple days bec he wouldn’t be too exhausted and wanted me to pay for the airbnb, I already wasn’t a fan of paying for a whole solo trip for him where I wasn’t going (it was one of my bucket list countries too) so i tried to tell him to just suck it up and take a couple hour layover instead but he wouldn’t listen. AND to make it worse, i saw his phone again (I didn’t even checking his phone or anything even once on this trip, he had the conversation open while he was sitting next to me and i could see) and he was talking to this girl who was around that country and asked her if she would travel there for a couple days to meet him and she agreed at first but once he sent her an airbnb and asked what she thought about it, she left him on seen and never responded even after he offered to pay (im guessing bec initially she just thought he meant they would hang out and when he brought up staying together even she got creeped out). THIS MAN WANTED ME TO PAY FOR HIS INTERNATIONAL TRIP TO MEET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HE TOLD HE WAS PAYING FOR EVERYTHING.
That was my last straw i got so mad and we had a big conversation , highlights: (Note: this is all in a very calm tone, i was holding back tears but no one was being aggressive)
Him: she’s just a friend and I haven’t even ever slept with her or anything PLUS that’s not even happening i’m not going to see her Me: because SHE left you on seen, u were clearly trying in fact ur the one who asked her to begin with Him: sighs & shrugs
Me: what about the girl in (hometown)? Him:
Me: why did u block me after halloween Him: i cnt tell u that Me: is it because u were also lying to K, telling her u were not seeing other people n she found out u were talking to me and to keep her from leaving u blocked me till she calmed down? Him: sighs, leans back and looks away
Me: why is one girl not enough Him: bec I’m not 40 Me: so why do u lie instead of just being honest and saying ur also seeing other people Him: bec i dnt wanna hurt feelings Me: i never asked u for anything u were the one who insisted on being exclusive, u were the one who said u loved me first while u knew the whole time u were lying, u really had no reason to lie? Him: u wouldn’t treat me the same if u knew i was seeing other people Me: i was treating u the exact same before u said all that? When u came to visit me i still paid for everything, u really didn’t have reason to lie Him: sighs
Me: what do u expect me to do now? Him: idk i guess u can see other people too(?)
Me: i didn’t mind paying for u if u were seeing other people n honest about it but dnt want to pay for someone who goes out of their way to lie to me for no reason (i p much never get pissed ab anything as long as it’s honest so there’s really no reason to lie which is why i cnt stand when people lie to me) Him: i understand
Me: did u at least use protection with other people (he told me he was clean and wasn’t seeing other people so i agreed to not using protection since i was on birth control anyway) Him: yes u can get tested if u want (i did and turns out he was lying i came home with a nasty std, I haven’t slept with anyone else in about a year)
After the long conversation we went to sleep and he noticed i was still crying so he hugged me and said “i dnt want u to cry talk to me” so i started saying how idk how to feel or what to do it’s just too much to process that he would do this bec i trusted him so much even when I didn’t want to but he rolled his eyes in the middle of my sentence which ticked me off so i turned away and was like “no dont turn away” to which I said “when im not talking u have an issue, when im talking u have an issue, what do u want?” This was the first time i dropped my calm in from of him and picked up an actually annoyed tone, which seemed to set something off in his head and he just blew up at me like YELLING about how im the one making a big deal out of everything and im the one who keeps turning away and refusing to talk to him etc and then he got up from the bed and punched the wall REALLY hard so i grabbed both his hands and sat him down on the bed and told him to shut up and calm down bec he was gonna get hurt if he keeps punching shit. He already hurt his hand p bad and he just held his hand to his chest and i could tell he was trying to hold in screams bec he was so much in pain. I called room service to bring ice and went downstairs to get him a painkiller. He finally calmed down and fell asleep. The next day he didn’t talk to me for 8 hours, didn’t go out or anything, we just sat there in the hotel room in silence, whenever i tried to bring up anything he just shrugged and continued to not say a word, Finally we both got hungry and went to get dinner after which we got drinks, once we got a little buzzed he started talking to me again and told me he got triggered bec i yelled at him (I didn’t yell but i did get annoyed so i got what he meant) and i apologised.
We were fine for the rest of the day and the next day and the night after that we finally flew back home.
He asked me to transfer him the money for his credit card and i asked him how much it was. The number he gave me was ridiculously higher than the number i had on my spreadsheet (since i made the bookings i even had the receipts) so i showed him saying these were the numbers that I had and he said “no but this is what my card got charged” and he sent me his own spreadsheet that me made (v poorly made no dates or anything, there were even some amounts without descriptions) so i said ok this isn’t helpful, just send me the credit card statement and i’ll see what went wrong in my calculations and he has been making dumb excuses for the last 2 weeks every time i ask him to send the statement like “there’s other payments too on the statement so u might get confused” (as if idk how to read??) or “oh i’ll send it when i open the credit card website next” but he keeps asking me to send him the money like constantly. Another thing that’s weird to me is that he completely disregarded the part where I told him I would only be paying for my half of the trip bec of him lying to me, which I already gave him more than half in cash in the beginning of the trip. Thirdly, not only does he want me to pay full he is also disregarding the money i gave him in cash bec he “spent it on the trip so it didn’t go towards the credit card payment” which I never agreed to give him spending money, that’s supposed to be on him, I brought my own spending money separately so it wasn’t even like he had to pay for both of us.
So basically, he wants me to pay for the whole credit card bill (which he won’t send me the statement for) on top of what i gave him in cash which was more than half of the number HE is giving me (and close to 80% of the number I have) ALL AFTER he lied to me, tried to make me pay for him going to meet another girl in a different country, yelled at me, punched a wall and made ME apologise.
The amount he’s asking for is big and I know he’s unemployed and if that’s the actual number, he definitely can’t pay it. While i can afford it (just barely after everything I already paid for including previous trips, flights for this trip and the money i gave him in cash) i did already tell him I would only be paying for my half (which i already did) and he agreed at the time, and i’m still extremely hurt and angry about all the lies and the drama. If he sent me the credit card statement I would still help him a little bit but he even refuses to do that. He hasn’t talked about anything else except asking me to send him the money for the past few days. I was going to cut him off after I paid him but he’s being kind of not cool about it and it’s not like i just have the money lying around. So would I be the asshole if I just ghosted him with his credit card debt that i know he can’t pay?
Also want to add: i keep mentioning his unemployment bec until February i was helping him improve his resume, prepare for interviews etc (I’m studying HR and recruitment) but after this trip he told me he is not even looking for a job bec if he got a job he “wouldn’t be able to travel as much” which pissed me off more bec im working my ass off to afford all this.

In 2010, I was facing felony charges for distribution of drugs. I was a drug addict. Hook line and sinker. But never admitted that to myself. My drug of choice? Anything I could get my hands on. Cocaine, ecstasy, weed, Xanax, Oxycontin, ciggys, alcohol, ativan, seroquil, spice, mushrooms.. You name it.
Desperately wanting to avoid prison time, I did whatever I could to turn my life around. The potential pain in carrying on was too great to tolerate. This was my rock bottom.
I enrolled in college, started working out every day, got rid of any "friends" that wanted to continue that lifestyle.
And quitting my daily drug use?
It wasn't a factor. I was too scared. I was willing to do anything to escape my prison sentence so I dropped them all without looking back. I was lucky. Lucky I had hit rock bottom. Lucky that everything collapsed around me. I needed a push and this was it.
Apparently the judge saw that I was making real change and I was able to avoid prison. I was slapped with a couple of felonies, fines, and drug and rehab classes.
Having felonies on my record was hard. I couldn't get a decent job. Even Walmart was excited to hire me, but then rejected me because of my record. I knew that I had turned a new leaf. I just needed someone to see that I was changed now.
Luckily, I found a family that needed help with their special needs kid.
I worked for them for long enough to get my felonies reduced and expunged off my record.
When hard drugs turn into soft drugs.
I thought I was "drug free" because I had stopped all illegal drugs. But soon I found myself consuming copious amounts of caffeine in order to lose weight and get "Jacked". You see, I found a passion for natural bodybuilding and Jiu-Jitsu around 2011.
I consumed endless content on how to lose body fat so I could finally get a six pack. A lot of YouTubers at the time were promoting pre-workouts like Jack3d. Which also had another stimulant called 1,3 dimethylamylamine - or DMAA. Which was banned after it had become known to be problematic.
So there I was, taking Jack3d, working out, and trying to figure out how to get a six pack. I hired the same coaches that my favorite YouTuber Matt Ogus had. 3DMuscleJourney. I got very serious with Diet and training.
When I started with 3DMuscleJourney in 2012, I had been working out for a solid year. I had gotten down to 195lbs from 215. Not a huge difference. And I had put on a good amount of Muscle in that time.
3DMuscleJourney taught me and guided me on how to train effectively while dieting and how to diet efficiently by tracking macros. But my preworkout and caffeine use had spiked up 1,500mg a day. I used caffeine as a substitute for food. After 12 weeks, I was down to 160lbs.
I was fit by any person's definition. My new found glory would soon collapse as my caffeine and DMAA use caught up to me. I started having bad shoulder pain, my joints were achy and cracky, popping every time I moved. I started stretching and doing mobility exercises but the pain in my body only got worse. I was unable to sleep. I would have fits of rage followed by lows of doubt and depression.
Then, I broke. I was no longer able to exercise because of the pain. I started eating more to see if it would help my joints. I quickly gained 30lbs. Probably within only a few weeks. I ended my coaching and started to slip back towards the abyss
That's when I figured out that caffeine and DMAA were both a huge problem.
I had been consuming caffeine my whole life. But never thought twice about it. It was a legal substance that a kid could go buy in a vending machine. How bad could it be? Broken, I decided to quit.
I was quickly able to cut out DMAA. But every attempt at quitting caffeine left me in so much pain that I would quickly rationalize going back to it. I never made it past two weeks.
Why was this harder than quitting all of those harder drugs?
I guess decades of using a softer drug still carves out some pretty steep ravines in your reward pathway. Caffeine was my last vice. Or so I thought..
I read the book "Caffeine Blues". This book explained that caffeine is not healthy in any way. It is a stimulant that causes your body to break down over time just like any drug. The book outlined some of the negatives associated with caffeine.

• Poor sleep, even if you didn't consume caffeine close to bedtime
• Joint pain from increased muscle tension.
• Poor vitamin and mineral absorption.
• Energy crashes and mood swings.
• Irritability.
• Psychosis.
• Masking negatives of caffeine with drugs and alcohol.

The list goes on. This was crazy. The book recommended tapering off of caffeine. While I was able to wean down to 300-600 most days. I couldn't get myself to fully commit. I started to look for some help.
Maybe I needed something to give me energy and focus while I quit?
I started to look at "Nootropics" to help me focus. I tried a large variety of them.

• Noopept
• Modafinil
• Piracetam
• Aniracetam
• L-Theanine
• Phenibu
• Kratom
• Nicotine
• A large variety of other supplements.

Non of this helped me quit caffeine. I soon realized that these legal "Performance enhancers" were just drugs. With their own highs and lows. And negative effects over time. I ended up quitting all of this after a year.
It was back to the drawing board.
Around the end of 2015, I ended up doing a 3 month or so long caffeine taper. Using caffeine powder and a mg scale I bought off Amazon. The plan was slow and steady. 1-2mg per day. I didn't want to notice my caffeine levels were dropping. After about a month under 25mg, I started feeling great.
My joints felt great, Arizona heat was more comfortable, I craved healthy food and exercise, I slept like a baby, the list goes on. I had raised my testosterone levels from 320ng/dL to 575ng/dL.
But then, just as I finally let go of caffeine. There was a surprise. A curve ball that would change my life forever.
The boy who lived...
My first child was to be born. The 24 hours in the hospital was an introduction to the lack of sleep I would face over the next few years. I caved..
One or two cups of coffee later, my son was born, and a new cycle of baby wake me up > being tired > caffeine to get me through the day > poor quality sleep > baby wake me up had begun.
I got got even more dependent on caffeine. I could no longer just take a nap whenever I wanted. I was a mess. Feeling like shit, with high stress, I also started drinking alcohol and smoking weed again. My testosterone levels plummeted down to 275ng/dL.
Great move dad..
I wanted to get healthy again. I started reading books about health, nutrition, meditation, etc. I wanted to attack this problem from multiple angles. I started eating a plant-based diet, meditating, exercising, taking ice baths, etc. I quit alcohol and weed again. Tapering my caffeine down below 100mg again.
I was starting to feel better. Even got my testosterone levels all the way up to 575ng/D
The girl who lived..
Sorry about the Harry Potter references...
Just when I thought it was over, another curve ball to my health goals. Something that would start the lack of sleep cycle all over again.
You guessed it.. another child! This time, there was a baby girl in my house. This new baby came with new challenges. Our daughter was born with cataracts. She had to have surgery at around 3 months old to get them removed. So not only did we have to deal with the lack of sleep stress again, and boy did she excel in that area, we had to deal with putting contacts in a baby...
Imagine a grown man squeezing their fist closed. And you have to delicately open up their fist, and place a sticky note on their palm without bending the paper. And the grown man is also having a seizure at the same time. Also, you haven't slept a quality night of sleep for weeks.
Needless to say, but I'm going to say it, our stress levels shot through the roof. We had new worries and fears about our daughter's condition and the caffeine cycle ramped back up again. All while trying to focus on my new career in IT and raising our other child.
Testosterone Replacement Therapy
I think sometime early 2023, a friend told me he was on Testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). I knew my low test levels were due to stress, caffeine use, lack of sleep, belly fat, poor eating habits, etc. But I was desperate for some edge that would help me finally quit caffeine and get healthy again.
I thought, if I can use Testosterone to help me get healthy, then I can get off of it later and not suffer any consequences.
Boy was I wrong
TRT did give me more drive and gusto to get stuff done. It also made me work harder than my body wanted. I started getting more back pain from harder weightlifting session, I actually started doing more caffeine, and even weed again. I was like 6 years clean from weed at this point.
This made me over confident. Like I could handle anything, which led to poor decisions. I felt like a horny teenager and it made it hard to focus. I started masturbating furiously..
After 4 months stabbing myself in the ass, and draining my life essence, I decided to quit TRT cold turkey. I knew this wasn't what I needed.
Withdrawals from TRT were bearable. I had waves of depression, lack of energy, etc. But I got through it. I'll probably get my levels tested again soon. As I write this, I have been off of TRT for 12 months now.
I leaned more heavily on caffeine while I was coming off of TRT. My current levels are around 400mg per day. But tapering off is my primary focus. Or maybe I should try cold turkey again? Not sure how I can afford to be a useless zombie for weeks while I have a full time job and 2 kids to look after.
"Semen retention" and NoFap
For years, I had made half ass attempts at doing No Fap and quitting porn. The benefits claimed by people who have tried it are:

• Increased energy
• Vigor
• Willpower
• Can function on less sleep
• Increased confidenc
• Better focus and concentration
• Muscle growth
• Increased Libido

I started to read some books about the topic. This big two were "Your Brain on Porn" and "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow". These books took a more Science-based approach. There were also a couple books that were a little off tilt such as "Bliss of the Celibate" and "Why You Should Never Masturbate". These books included a lot of hokey about chakras and religion.
I never made it passed two weeks.
After TRT, I decided to give it a real go. NoFap/ Semen retention felt like my final try at getting an "edge". I lasted over a month. Just around the 3 week mark, I had felt the same benefits of TRT without all of the negatives. I also learned, that you have to be all in.
Any sexual thoughts had to be banished. Just think of something else. If you entertain lust at all, you will fail. Stay off social media where you may run into soft porn, which can start the spiral that leads you to porn, etc.
I was able to control my caffeine intake finally, my sleep was better, my wife was more attracted to me, I was more patient with the kids. I finally found the answer.
But then, I relapsed. And lost sight of the benefits. I had forgotten.
Slowly everything started slipping again. With small nofap stints here and there never lasting more than two weeks.
As I write this, I am realizing that caffeine was never my problem. It was a symptom of something else. I am currently on day 6 of retention and have made it my number one priority again. I need to remember this. I need my edge back.
The journey continues..
Life is full of ups and downs. And decisions you make (good or bad) compound over time. I know all of the positive effort, and commitment to personal development has paid off over time. Even though it may have been slower than I had hoped.
This story leaves out a lot. But I'd love to have a conversation with anyone who has had similar struggles. I have been going at this alone. I can only imagine how much more growth there can be surrounding yourself with like-minded individual
Ta Ta for Now.

Am I the ahole? It’s a bit long and I will try to be directly to the point.
FYI. I’m 43f and all of these guys are in their 50s. Jim is early 30s. Not children.
My “boss” said (let’s call him Mike) I say that reluctantly because he considers me his best friend and I don’t. It’s a construction company paper management so we don’t do the actual labor it’s all subbed out.
We have 1 big client basically. And on my end the accounting side there system is so screwed up. It’s always a big thing to work out. My contact there, let’s call him Jim. I don’t know personally, we just email. All professional. I’m bubbly on emails “hope you stay dry! Enjoy your weekend”. His boss our liaison( Dick) if you want to call that. Well he’s a drunk, like has come into our office on a Tuesday drunk as a skunk, I know he cheats on his wife, takes bribes. Probably about 10k a year just from us alone. I’m sure from all of his vendors also.
Well anyway, I have spoken to Tom 3 times in the last two years. I looked up my phone records. Always short and cordial, the only reason I call him is when there is a big f up on his end, and I don’t want a paper trail so he doesn’t get in trouble. In the last 4 years they have told Mike that I am a bitch and rude to them. That I know of. The other day Mike told me they said that, oh and I’m not allowed to talk to Jim again.
Back story: Mike left his old company that I worked at in 2020. He started his own business, and I went with him. Now when I say this guy can be drama. He is. I’ve always had his back. Acted for years as his therapist. In the last year. Found out he’s a raging alcoholic he just hid it well. Like taking out a separate cc to hide his booze on spent 3k in Feb on it. November he decided he was gonna go to rehab. Who had to help organize that? Me And keep the business running while he was gone. Me. Leaves two weeks later. Goes back to drinking. He cheats on his wife, she finds out. 3 months of hell with him being a drunk his kids hating him his wife leaving him. Bought a Tesla crashed it within a week. DUIs. All sorts of crap. At this point I stay to make sure the wife has money so she can feed his kids. Like I even helped his son write college essays. That’s how well I know these people.
My point is, I have always had his back and gone above and beyond to help him. I asked him, well did you stand up for me? What did you say when they told you that? He said nothing, 1 because he didn’t want to. 2 they are his clients. 3 this is construction. I ripped him a new one. I Basically said if I don’t have an apology from Eric by 5pm on Monday I quit.
He keeps crying that I can’t leave him and he will lose the business if he does. And I said well maybe you should have thought of that before you let people talk bs about me.
Some points, I’m semi retired. I work because I like working. I don’t need the money. I value self respect. And I made sure he knew that.
Am I blowing this out of proportion?
AITAH?

We had a trip between 26th May 2024 to 30th May 2024 to a few temples around Mangaluru organised by a pilgrimage cum religious group called Nellai Sahasranama Mandali. The trip had two night halts one at Hariharapura and next at Dharmasthala. However later both the halts were clubbed to Hariharapura due to heavy crowd and accommodation crunch at Dharmasthala. We had got clubbed with a person called Thenmozhi (+91 98xxx xxxx). The identity of the person as per Truecaller shows up as (Thenmozhi SBI). However despite being from an iconic global brand of India, the person's outlook and concern in the community is absolutely disgusting besides creating a lot of heartburns and this intensifies particularly when the community is on a good spirited like a pilgrimage. I would like to share a set of four incidents (in chronological order) here so that these could be taken as a lesson to counsel the workforce as we are from service industry and our outlook towards others when in duty and/or otherwise does impact the brand identity of the business. Incident 1: I got the key from reception and moved towards escalator towing my baggages. Since the escalator had a huge serpentine line piled up, this person went to harass my Senior Citizen mother and told her with arrogance "Your husband already got the keys. Please give the key so that we can move to the room". A bank employee can discriminate between son and husband by look and age. How are they expected to apply due diligence and fraud detection at work? When my mom calmly replied he is my son the response from her with audacity and temerity is 'Ok. So what?'. No apologetic or remorseful gesture found whatsoever. Incident 2: At room when we were trying to keep the things ready for next day temple rituals, she was talking a lot of Gyan about room mates and room sharing. However next day morning walked out to Tunga river without even telling us. We were waiting for a long time because we had to lock the room before going to river. Then she is calling that she is returning from river and would collect the key. Incident 3: Towards afternoon when we were having the lunch at Mutt, she hastily approached me asking for the keys. I was almost finishing the food and instead of waiting a minute or two she was hurling abuses like crazy. How many times customers are being made to wait at the branches due to staff busy even in other schedules? Incident 4: Towards evening we had a trip to Sringeri and came back. We developed a severe headache. So took a few pills and started to take rest and next day we were asked to start early to move towards Dharmasthala. This persona again came and roughed me up to move out of the room for half an hour as she wanted to change her dress (silk saree). I was even not able to open the eyes and the bathroom was dry and clean which she could have used. Additionally the organisers have clearly mentioned multiple times that any room can be used by anyone because the stay is just for sleeping and for other purposes please knock and use whichever room is applicable, available and useable. And for this she again used a few slurs and expletives. It was a total irritant and we did not want to spoil the sanctity and sacredness of the pilgrimage. Hence chose to stay muted and avoid her mudslings that potentially got seeded out of ignorance and/or arrogance.
On a goodwill gesture I have reported the below-said incident to SBI and here so that people can be wary of such speciments around them.

As always, thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for the wonderful universe that is NoP! Thank you to u/cruisingNW for proof reading and helping me make this chapter as good as it can be, you're the man! Honestly LoM wouldn't have gone very far without him! If you haven't you should absolutely go read Foundations of Humanity! It's very good AND it just updated!
A big thanks to u/Saint-Andros for helping with proofreading! He writes Out of Our Elements which is a very good one! If you like a good fic in the wilderness and a pair of cute 'friends' ;) you'll love OOE!
Also thank you to u/brotanics! For this wonderful fanart of Taisa. And this one! She's so cute I'm gonna die
And thank you to u/Jimdandy117! For this adorable fanart of Chris and Renkel! Dear god help he's adorable I love him so much
Thank you u/SlimyRage, or AsciiSquid on Discord, for makin' Vengineer Taisa Gamin'. She's absolutely adorable, I love her lil' workers apron. She looks so excited to get to work!
Thank you u/Braquen! For this astounding Pixel Art of Taisa after a few range day dates with Chris! Her little hat and gunbelt are absolutely astounding!
Thank you u/VeryUnluckyDice! For this Artwork of Taisa and Chris as characters from One Piece! I've never seen or read it before but it's incredibly cute!
Thank you to u/creditmission for their wonderful work of several LoM fanfics!
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Memory Transcription Subject: Taisa, Venlil Starship Engineer, Crystal Star Shipping Co-Owner
Date [Standardized Human Time]: October 16th, 2136
Stars… doom or not, that moon is beautiful.
Earth’s own spotlight still hung in the sky, creeping ever higher backlight more and more of the fleet waiting in anticipation. The moon’s pure white light scattered aimlessly across the mountains, shimmering like liquid silver on the surface of the river flowing through the valley far below us. Slinking dark forms of ships that slipped beyond her light made their presence known through the trailing wisps their ion thrusters jetted out behind them; painting the soil-black sky with twisting, swirling hues of blue amongst the shimmering stars.
A warm and weighty hand pulled me close as the cool night air of the mountains flowed through my wool, coaxing a contended purr to build and blossom in my chest as I pressed into Chris’ side, stretching up to nuzzle into his neck before leaning forward and snatching another ‘hummus’ covered carrot from the tray to pop it into my mouth. The delicious, savory smoothness of the hummus accompanied the sweet harshness of the carrot perfectly, sending a trill of pleasure through my chest before I continued my story.
“Anyhow, Quilleth and I, despite her continuous protests, get assigned to the same design herd for one of our final projects. We had an old Triconn Drive Systems TC-547 Jump drive and one of their ‘standard’ fusion cores to go with it, one of the worst pairs of speh-stacks ever built if you ask me, that we needed to rebuild and get working again, and she wanted no part of having to ‘deal’ with me for any extended period of time. Tavareth, my jump-drive maintenance and design professor, was adamant that,” I stopped, pulling in a breath and puffing out my chest, doing my best to mimic the old, gray trunked Mazic. “Ahem, ‘In a work environment you’ll have to work past your differences to make the herd stronger.’ and all kinds of other speh that amounted to ‘I need to fill out this herd the rest of the way and you two are who’s left.’”
“They both sound so pleasant.” Chris rumbled, a chuckle in his voice as he grinned, handing me another of his ‘cracker sandwiches’ before turning his eyes back to the stars high above.
“That’s a word for it.” I agreed, giving a jovial whistle past the crumbling cracker and deliciously smooth nut-spread. “But she dropped that tune real fast the second we came up to a real problem in the project trying to source a new, or at least rebuildable, primary magnetic accelerator. I called Parnel and had a brand new one, that was well past any spec we were expected to meet, in our workshop and installed within the paw. After that I checked the drive’s Tritium levels, rerouted every coolant line, field flow point and magnetic induction coil so they actually worked right, stars forbid those wool brains at Triconn ever design something right the first time, to get everything I could out of the new accelerator assembly.”
“Now why does that sound familiar?” Chris mused, a sly smile on his face as scooped a fistful of crunchy chips into his mouth.
“You can shush Captain ‘try his damnedest to burn out every subsystem he can find’, half the re-routing I have to do now is your fault!” I replied with an amused whistle, paffing the back of his head with my tail-tuft before continuing. “Now, after I’d… dove into the ove-”
“As you often do.” Chris cut in, a smile on his face as he prodded my side with a burbling laugh in his voice.
“Shush!” I bleated in return, the warmth of a spreading bloom driving the sneaking cold of the mountain air from my wool. “As I was saying, after I dove into the drive, Quilleth and our other partners, mostly Quilleth, had taken it on themselves to handle the core’s overhaul and refueling. Leave it to most herds to take the easy route and not learn something if they can get away with it, you can damn well bet they made sure to document that I was the one who worked on the drive and that the, far easier, core was all them. The work on the drive took a while by myself but I still managed to get everything done and put together before we had to spin it up for the test-paw.”
“How do you test a drive and a core if it's not on a ship? Feels like a fast way to make a problem for yourself.” Chris asked, his eyes focused on me, interest plain on his face as his hand wrapped around my side to pull me close.
“Well the drives physically can’t engage if they’re in a sufficient gravity well, and VP is well beyond that threshold, so we just spin them up, take readings to ‘prove’ that they’d work in a real application. I argued we should have had a few shuttles with remote diagnostics and control systems, like we used during your flight training, to do the tests to show they actually did work since correct readings in a gravity well and correct readings in applied use can be different and you wouldn’t know until you were in orbit and getting ready to jump. Tavareth said he’d have ‘loved to give us the chance but the university didn’t have the funds to allocate’ or some other excuse the faculty always used to avoid doing things the right way.” I replied, waving my paws in frustration at the amount of projects that were only given a curled tail of thought before being dumped on us to complete, real world applications or not.
“Sounds a lot like Trepassy’s parent company, unless it was a ‘mission critical component’ as they put it, then they didn’t much care to fix it if it didn’t keep her stuck in port. Always made the excuse that the repairs weren’t in the budget while posting ten plus percent margins. Didn’t matter how much me and the cap’ called and bitched them out for busted Air-con or the rec-room being entirely bare they always said the same damned thing. Bunch of assholes.”
My tail set to wagging at the idea of Chris and his captain shouting into a phone at some other Human half the world away about something that felt all too familiar. “Anyways, we get everything set up on the testing field outside of Dayside, get the systems mounted into their cooling and fuel channels before we start spooling the core up and putting power to the drive. Before too long Tavareth announces that everything looks stable and we can begin putting load onto the system, everything climbs their scales well. The warp field levels off with the expected fluctuations of a drive being operated way too far into a gravity well to maintain any real stability and the core temperature looks good. Everything’s holding steady, Tavareth looks pleased, the rest of my project-herd is congratulating each other on a project completed.”
“Then the core temp starts climbing, blooming well beyond any ‘acceptable’ overheating limiter Quilleth, Uderek or Ofent could have seen fit to set. I looked over and found all three of them watching the core start to melt down in disbelief as Tavereth slams down every single E-stop he can find on the command console. Suddenly everything stops, the room goes quiet as the distant, now glowing white core is dumped straight into an abort tank to expend its… energy somewhere a bit safer. ”
“Tavereth whipped around faster than I’d ever seen that big old Mazic move and oh stars was he furious!” I bleated, tossing my paws in the air at the memory of him studying each of us in turn before launching into an angry tirade. “That core was as bright as the stars themselves but it had nothing on the bloom positively glowing beneath Quilleth’s coat! He laid into all of us for a solid five minutes, calling out everything that could have gone wrong under Sollaglick’s light and I didn’t say a thing until she tried to blame me for forgetting to install the limiters!”
I saw the corner of Chris’ mouth curl in a tight smile, he knew what was coming but it still felt so good to be able to revel in it with my own herd, pack or whatever we should have been called. “Then I threw her own write up right back at her! Pointed out every note that explicitly called out that I only worked on the drive and that the core was all them, more specifically that SHE was supposed to have installed the limiters almost a herd before according to their schedule!”
“Uderek, Ofent and I all got a stern warning about why you should always check your herd-mates’ work and I got a gruff ‘good work’ for the drive before Tavereth positively berated Quilleth for the next quarter claw! Those two were good to me for the tail end of the semester, I’d hoped they’d try to keep in touch after we went our separate ways but… well they really didn’t.” I sighed with a shrug, the sun falling from my field at the memory of the last time I’d seen the chipper Gojid and our Tilfish friend.
“Well, hopefully things are going good for them, sometimes folks get busy… maybe they figure they don’t wanna bother you! ‘Specially now that you got your own ship and whatnot!” Chris comforted, his hands tracing wonderfully comforting circles through my wool.
Could always try to get in contact again if we make it through this.
>Agreed.< “Maybe I should, would be nice to have even more paws onto look at any of the problems Darno and I can’t… Stars above what is that?!”
My breath hitched in my throat as I looked to the stars, watching as the fleets high above began to exchange zipping tails of blue and green. A horrid, deadly light show filled the void high above earth, ships on both sides taking and serving hits with the fervor only people fighting for their lives, and the lives of everyone they’d ever known, could truly muster. The blazing trails of plasma slammed into the distant motes, scattering their vibrant colors in globs across the tapestry of the stars before some of them were joined by the flash of critical reactors and munition blowouts.
But amongst it all that wasn’t even the most of it.
For a brief moment I had thought the U.N. had decided to throw their entire moon at the fleet, another break-tail juke to smash as much of the fleet as they could; but the vectors were all wrong. They weren’t propelling here, they were taking off from her. The light of the moon was ablaze, obscured with towering pillars of smoke and fire, cacophonous trails of burnt oxygen and hydrogen traced a stampede directly to the extermination fleet. No, what they had actually chosen to do was far worse.
They’d stowed what looked like a never ending salvo of gargantuan missiles waiting for the exact moment to drop everything they had on the extermination fleet. A thought crossed my mind, a display from some stars-forsaken exhibit in the capital’s museum called ‘true evil’, its content was positively laughable now, about how many atomics humanity had made before they’d ’annihilated’ themselves. I think the curator had harvested the numbers a shear or two short. The sky lit up like a battery of strobes, the constant cracking light of splitting atoms nearly turning night to day as they spread like a blight through the assaulting fleet.
I couldn’t help but pull my lips back in a smile as my tail thumped rapidly against the stone beneath me. That mote of hope in my chest grew, watching the burning hulks full of people who wanted nothing more than to destroy everything about this world I’d come to love break apart, venting atmosphere as they sat, hanging in the void. Some tried to turn tail and limp away, some slipped into Earth’s gravity, their battered hull sections turning to voracious fireballs as they plummeted toward the hard, unforgiving dirt below.
Should’ve stayed home.
The thunk and twang of Chris’ instrument slipping from its case harvested my attention, my eyes sliding from the battle high above to the glowing white instrument resting in his hands. His own eyes turned to the sky, hovering for a moment as he plucked a few discordant notes from the instrument before looking back down and over to me, meeting my gaze.
“‘Suppose now’s as good a time as any.” He shrugged, giving me a small smile as I nodded, wrapping my tail around his wrist before gently nuzzling into his neck and turning my eyes back to the battle.
The sharp, plucky, barking twang of the banjo called out across the mountain tops, echoing back to us like a distant friend as Chris’ voice filled the air, joining the banjo in its reprise. The slow, wavering song danced between us just as the violence for the stars above, weaving amongs the whispering chorus of the trees and the chattering, throaty backing of evening insects.
“But I want to be where all the stupid shit I say Sounds so romantic and true.
Cause I'd rot in hell with you,
If you'd just ask me to.
I love the shitty things we do together,
Live with me in this sin forever.”
Memories flooded my mind with the words and hanging notes that echoed across the valley before us. The panic of our first solo flight as Chris pushed Shamrock for everything she’d had to give us, trying desperately to keep her in one piece as he blew past every limiter to get Maeve to the hospital as fast as we could. Concern roiling in my chest as I helped him to the truck after he’d dove into the river after, soaked to the bone, shivering and frozen but still so proud. The frustration of the two of us hard at work on Polani the paw after we’d gotten her, tail, and elbow, deep in carbon, grease and oil as we cursed everything under the stars. The fear of the cradle as the thunder of shells slamming into Polani’s hull filled her halls, the horror as one stalked me within my home…
“Cause home is the last place that I'd stand to be with anyone but you.
I'd rot in hell with you, If you'd just ask me to.
I love the shitty things we do together, Live with me in this sin forever.
Hell and you, I know you want it too.
I hope you take the shot, see this chance.
Feel the fire, and let me have this dance with you.”
I pressed into his side with a contented sigh, listening to the last echoing twangs of the Banjo and his voice as they called back across the great expanse before us. A long, cool breath filled my lungs before I leaned up to give his cheek a small, loving lick as a purr rolled through my chest. “I love everything we do together too, Love. Almost as much as I love just having you in my life at all.”
His mouth split into that broad, goofy grin as his hand pulled me just a little closer, his heavy voice rolling through me, just as comforting as always. “I love you too, Darlin’.”
“So…” I whistled, my tail twitching back and forth with amusement as I spoke into his neck. “About that dan-”
The words faltered in my mouth as a building light caught my eye, harvesting my attention skyward.
There, seemingly hanging in the sky, a pair of ships were tangled, no speared together. Both of them were burning fuel as munitions explosions wracked their hulls and trailing plumes of wispy atmosphere vented from their hulls as they plummeted to earth together, locked in their own deadly dance. The fires of re-entry blazed across both of their hulls as parts, pods and melted trails of slag broke away from both of them. The rammer’s guns opened up, sending round after round out after the escape pods that had bailed from the other ship, turning scores of them into little more than puffs of smoke that never had a chance.
As the pair grew closer I could finally make out what they were, or at least who the aggressor was. A Federation light cruiser was speared dead in her midship by the unmistakable, sleek curves of a Venlil Destroyer ending in a hextet of thrusters that still belched plumes of burning hydrogen fuel into the sky as she drove her opponent towards the certain death of the mountains below them with everything they had. The screaming roar of the ship reached my ears, their cacophonous echos casting across the mountain range like the angered, belligerent wails of someone defending everything they held dear.
That ship doesn’t have U.N. markings… Stars above that ship… those are Venlil.
“Damn…”
“Stars above…”
Chris and I watched what amounted to a grand, defiant headbutt as it traced its path down from the stars above. The pair of dancing ships continued their descent, pirouetting to the mountains below them like experienced partners just as their arms and thrusters screamed at each other like enemies with a centuries old grudge to settle.
“Shit… they’re comin’ down on Salt Pond.” Chris whispered, his eyes tracking the pair as they plummeted.
Mountains rose into sight beneath them, the distant mountain’s peak rose into the sky like it was anticipation, just hoping for the chance to dash the interloper across its face.
“H-How far is that?”
“‘Bout twenty miles as the crow flies. ‘Least no one lives on that one I think, ‘sides maybe the rangers.”
The fleets far above them were still locked in a furious fight, the monstrous flanks of the federation ships pushed on, crashing through the defenders like a harvester through wool-grass. Ships of both sides fell from their formations, ablaze like the stars around them, only growing brighter before flaring into catastrophic explosions that cast them into incalculable pieces that fell to the ground below like a meteor shower.
“Think they’ll manage?” I whispered, a sprout of fear and doubt managing to push past the stone of hope I’d done my best to embed in my heart.
“I hope so, Darlin’. I ho-“
The cacophonous screech and cavernous boom of metal crashing into stone, trees and dirt filled the air, drowning his voice out and sending birds scattering from the trees around us as the ground beneath us shuddered from the impact.
Then everything went whi-
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ERROR: REMAINDER OF LOADED TRANSCRIPT CORRUPTED.
ERROR CODE: 47846-MD-EF-RI. MEMORY DAMAGED BY ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS: RADIOLOGICAL INFLUENCE.
SOLUTION: ATTEMPT RECOVERY? Y/N
Y
ATTEMPTING…
ATTEMPTING…
ATTEMPT FAILED.
SOLUTION: LOAD NEXT TRANSCRIPT IN QUEUE FOR ‘THE LIFE AND TIMES OF THE BLACKSBURG BURNER AND THE SKALGAN SHOWSTOPPER’? Y/N
Y
SOLUTION ACCEPTED. LOADING NEXT TRANSCRIPT.
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Pri’Darya, Alcoranth Male, Pirate Captain
Oh where did it all go wrong? Me crew is dead, and my boy was brutally murdered.
In this void of sensation, I am only left with my thoughts. That stun baton has completely paralyzed me, and I know I’m being taken to a cryopod for holding, so I may as well dwell on my thoughts.
Was it taking the job where we messed up? No, I don’t think so. It was probably the bait. It worked too well. We caught too big of a Trorish.
I sigh internally as I can feel them lifting me up somewhere.
And we had such a good plan too. Well it wasn’t my plan, it was my boy’s plan. To send out a drone ship with a fake weapon system as a decoy so we can sneak up on them, it worked so well that they actually thought it was us.
I can feel them placing me down on a soft platform as a shadow seems to begin looming over me.
That Altrin girl could have gone for a pretty credit if we got her, but what the hells was that rifle she was using? I thought a fully automatic BYR was impossible due to the recoil and explosive payloads. But that white… whatever she was… She is completely terrifying. I thought she would just sell for a lot more since she kept her fur in good condition, so I thought she was just an assistant to that Altrin girl. Never in me life, would I expect a pretty girl like that to be so… terrifyingly deadly.
The air begins to turn cold.
Ah, I’m out of time to think… At least wherever I end up, I hope I don’t see that white furred girl again.
Cerelia, Altrin Female, Captain of The Opal Star
I sigh as we finish escorting the remaining crew to their quarters or work quarters, taking in consideration to take longer routes around the ship to avoid bodies that we haven’t had time to clean up yet. There were a few crewmembers we had to either escort back to their work areas or to communal areas due to bodies that we couldn’t avoid.
It’s going to be a long few days…
My attention is grabbed by my wrist data pad as I get a call from Triwt.
“Hey, Triwt, how are things going on your end?” I ask with a tiredness in my voice as I’ve been awake for roughly 13 or so hours now.
“Well, we’ve managed to move the majority of the bodies. Galactic Law doesn’t allow for spacing bodies.”
“It would be an easier clean up if we could.”
“Yes, but we still have to obey the law.”
We both sigh at the same time while I use my other hand to rub my face, trying to make my exhaustion go away with such a pointless attempt.
“Right, right…” I sigh again before continuing to speak, “Anyways, I’m setting up an autopilot course to take us to Verglas.”
“Verglas?”
“Yeah, sending you the information now.”
There’s a moment of silence from Triwt before she speaks, “You’re kidding me, right?”
“I wish I was.”
“An ice covered planet?
“Mhm.”
“Known to snow almost all the time?”
“Yes, but the cities and spaceport are built around a natural heat signature.”
“... You’re lucky I have a snow coat and that I have fur, but my fur isn’t really good at keeping out the cold.”
I hear her sigh on her end before I chime in.
“Wanna go meet up at Med Bay 07? Check in on Jordan?”
“Jordan? My my, Captain I didn’t know you were interested in him where you're already shortening his name.”
“It’s not like that! He said it was weird to hear everyone saying his ‘full name’ and prefers being called by his ‘first name’.” I huff in slight annoyance and embarrassment.
“Ah okay, does that mean we should all refer to him as Jordan then?”
“I believe so if that’s what he wishes.”
I mean I felt special when he wanted me to call him Jordan, but oh well.
“Okay, I’ll see you there, Cerelia.”

I slowly walk down the hall. It’s been quarantined due to the fact that there’s still blood and bullets on the walls and floor of the corridor. It seems that the trail of blood from Jordan has gone from red to more of a brownish black color.
I look up at a sign in the hallway that reads, “MEDICAL ROOM 07” which I smirk a little.
I always find it funny that despite it being a medical room, everyone calls it a Med Bay. I wonder where that name for it came from.
“Hey Triwt, I’m here-” I cut myself off as before me in the room is Triwt, Lys, and every crew member from the compromised safe room. Well all except for R’dorn.
I’m glad that prick isn’t here, but I wasn’t expecting everyone else to be here.
“Oh uh, hey everyone. Are we all here to see, Jordan Cores?”
Lys nods and speaks up, “Yes, and Triwt did inform us about his name preference. It’s a little bit weird, but we can do it if it’s what he wishes.”
I admit, I was almost a little bit annoyed that others were calling him Jordan now, but I have to let that emotion go for now as I’m here to see how he’s recovering, not to try and be an overprotective mother. I nod and walk over to the stasis regeneration tube as I look inside.
Part of me is glad that his arms and hands have already been fixed, but…
Not everything is going to be truly healed 100%.
I think to myself as I can see the formations of scars on his skin tissue. I noticed it the first time, but I don’t think he noticed it himself when he woke up after his first big injury. His wrists and knuckles are the most scarred, due to probably when he was punching that orange Alcoranth, but his wrists are from when he broke out of his restraints when we first found him.
Not the best memory to think back on… It hasn’t even been a full day yet. Oh, and where is Jordan going to sleep?
I then slowly bring myself to look at his face, which is almost finished healing. There’s a scar on his chin and a scar leading to under his right ear where the shot left his head. It’s not a major scar except for the entrance and exit wounds, but it’s still somewhat noticeable. If anything the white tissue of the scars make it stand out against his [tan] skin.
If only we had some higher grade Stasis Regeneration Tubes, maybe we could heal those scars as well… All we can do now is wait…
Jordan Cores, Human Male, Part-Time Security Worker
I take in a deep breath, gasping for air as I sit straight up in a cold sweat, holding onto my face and chest. My heart beats quickly and I sit there panting. I quickly check myself to make sure I’m not missing any body parts or anything.
“That is not an okay feeling!” I say aloud before shuddering.
It’s hard to describe how it feels to be in pain, everything slightly red in my vision, I was hearing my own heart thumping in my chest all the while I couldn’t hear out of my right ear, and then in the blink of an eye everything is fine, there’s no more pain just the sensation that something is missing while sitting on a bed of some sort surrounded by aliens.
Oh right the aliens.
OH RIGHT THE ALIENS
I turn my head and look around me, and while I’m a little panicked, I’m able to calm down as most of them are sitting further back or standing near the walls. The only ones closer to me are Lys, Cerelia, and I think the white snake lady is Triwt if I remember correctly.
“Um… good morning?” I ask nervously as I look around the room. “Is it even morning?”
“No, it’s technically the middle of the night, Jordan.” Cerelia says as she puts her paw on my head and rubs my hair like my parents used to when I was younger. “But, we all wanted to be sure you would be fine when waking up and it would be cruel to leave you alone when waking up. That, and these crewmembers wanted to express their thanks for protecting them. Though, hopefully next time it won’t be such a violent display.”
“S-Sorry, I wasn’t really thinking when that happened.”
“To be fair you were shot in the head. I think they were more scared that you seemingly came back to life.”
“Y-Yeah… Uh, if it’s okay, can I maybe say hi to them then?” I ask, peering around her shoulder to look at the other crew members. She nods and steps to the side as a line forms of aliens who want to speak to me.

I never expected to spend the next 20 minutes receiving thanks from complete strangers, aliens nonetheless, but it was still nice. I also apologized if I potentially scared them for what they saw me do.
Also aliens apparently hug. A lot.
That would probably explain why Cerelia was petting my head as well…
The last person I expected to approach me was Triwt.
She slithered up to me and offered me one of her four hands, which I accepted, gently shaking it before she pulled me into a hug like the last 13 people did. After a few seconds she lets me go.
“Jordan, since you will probably be with us for a while, could I potentially offer you a job while you are on this ship?”
“H-Huh? A job?”
Triwt, Female Valis-Trobat Hybrid, Security Commander
I try to stay focused on giving Jordan this job offer, but something is really distracting me, especially with our upcoming destination of Verglas.
Goddess, he is super warm…
And that is Chapter 10! I know it's probably a bit more on the boring side, but it's to try and set up our trip to Verglas (which is a thin coating of ice on a rock. Ice Rock. Ice Planet)! I really liked the suggestions of an ice planet so thats where we're heading. Major Cities and spaceports are built on natural heat signatures which cause a lot of natural hot springs (ooo fun!). Also for our theorizers, no, Pri'Darya will not be recurring, I just wanted to give him a name and their side of things in the aftermath.
Also it's time for Jordan to finally get a job! It hasn't been a full day and Triwt wants him on her team! This also means I can have an excuse for him to be around Lys and Cerelia more often. That being said, does Jordan get his own room, or does he have to bunkbed with somebody?
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I am starting new (my own) community Moonly about new business trends. I will post 8–10 new, interesting business trends per week and example you can see in my channel. Im from Kazakhstan and thinking about to focus on my own country (Kazakh language cannel) or make content in English and can get subscribers worldwide. Examples are below:

5Mins — micro-education for corporations

At first, YouTube took the work away from blogs, people stopped reading long texts. Now TikTok sets the trends of media consumption — people no longer want to watch long videos.
Then why do companies still hope that employees will take long and boring refresher courses? Now the average return on online courses is 3%, and this figure is falling every year.
Startup 5Mins decided to fix this problem using its own LMS platform based on short videos. The training takes place every day and does not require much stress — all lessons are gamified and last up to 5 minutes. They consolidate knowledge by interval repetition of past lessons and various interactive activities. At the end of 2022, the startup attracted $5.7M investments.
More examples. In 2021, DeepHow raised $9M of investment in an AI-based worker training service. The expert records once on video how to do the job correctly. A smart algorithm cuts the video into a step-by-step plan and translates it into any language.
Arist — interactive courses in messengers. Also, in 2022, $12M of investments were raised.
The French startup Revyze tried to become a "TikTok for education" and raised €2M of investment a couple of years ago. The service focuses on preparing high school students for their final exams.
Zigazoo — educational short videos for children. Recently, the startup raised $100M of investments.
How to apply it? To launch similar projects with us.

FIRST off let me say it was his idea to share locations to begin with. We’ve been having a lot of issues lately regarding not spending time together. He is always working 4 am- 10 am then 10 am-5pm & lately he’s spending a lot of times at his moms house. I work a full time Job and never have any time to myself I’m always taking care of the kids I do 95 percent of everything for them. While cleaning the house. He does the cooking or he buys the food if we eat out. I feel like we spend no time together on top of feeling like I have no life. The other night he left work early and our dog had to get a rabies vaccine. He had time to stop home before tending to his grandma but I still had to take an extra long lunch break to take the dog to get it done. Even though technically it’s his dog I told him I didn’t want a dog but I take more care of it then he does. So anyway besides the point. The other night he was at his moms I could see his location and he said he wouldn’t be long. He ended up running errands for her at 11 o’clock at night . And I could see it from his location. I was pissed and confronted him about why why never spend time together and he could do that for her but can’t help me out with HIS dog or spend time with me. He turned it off that night and hasn’t turned it back on since. I finally decided to ask him what’s up. We’ve shared it for 5 years and you just turn it off now. Saturday night he spent the whole night out and didn’t come home. I did confirm where he was but I was up all night and couldn’t sleep. And that’s not something he typically does. It would’ve saved me a nights sleep if I had the location since he stopped communicating with me. I asked him about the location and this is how the convo went. I really need input and another perspective about this.
I called him on the phone to ask him then his phone died so he text me back
Him : Babe do as you please. My location settings is off which means I can’t see your location anyhow. When I turn it back on you can see mine.
Me : I know that babe but why do you turn it off ? You either want to share or you don’t. That’s what I’m asking babe. You never used to just shut it off so I am confused as to the random ons and offs.
Him: Cause I’m not worried about it. I feel like shit though babe
Me: I am worried about it though. So do you want to just turn it off and be done with it ? Cause it would’ve came in handy when I was wondering where you were on Saturday night all night. Would’ve saved me some anxiety.
Him: Do what you want babe. Thank you babe. What time y’all leaving?
Me: I don’t know but I’m asking you collectively. It was your idea to share the locations to begin with and I’m telling you something is bothering me. It’s literally as simple as pressing a button to fix it. If you don’t want to do that babe let me know.
Him: I’ll press the button when it’s important babe. It’s not like I can see yours. That’s all I have to say about it. Are yall going to the aquarium or the boys being bad.
Me: We’ve done it for 5 years I don’t understand why it’s suddenly different now though suddenly you aren’t worried about it ? Right when we’re going through hard times. We are about to go I’ve got to get myself together.
Him: Why are you pressing it so bad like I go so many damn places? Like damn it’s not that serious especially when I’m a call or FaceTime away. Because I don’t care to turn it on unless I’m in an unfamiliar place where you got to worry about me. As of now I don’t do shit I only go to family house so I’ll turn it on when I need to.
Me: Then what was the point of all this time having it on constantly ?
Him: Why is this even a debate? We shouldn’t even be going back and forth over this. It’s not even that serious Smfh. Let’s just spark more problems
Me: I just figured turning it back on would be a simple fix but I’ll just be quiet. My reasoning is that I’m used to it so I wanna know what’s different now. Clearly there was a change of heart for some reason. But it’s ok. Do what you think is best.
Him: Why do you go through these phases? Drilling shit in your head so that you put yourself in a bad place
Me: If your spouse does something for years then suddenly changes it puts you in a weird mindset. Especially when there’s no compromising or reason behind it.
Am I wrong ? Am I overreacting or acting controlling ? I just feel there was no explanation as to why especially when we’re not going through the best time in our marriage why wouldn’t you just want to put your wife’s mind at ease ??
his location was off before the Saturday night thing.. about a week before when he was at his moms he turned it off when he was home
Also I was typing this in an emotional state Saturday night he said he was drunk I told him just stay the night. I’ve told him that before and he never has he always said he would always find a way home to me even if that meant sobering up. After a few texts I didn’t hear from him for the rest of the night . Idk if that changes anything I just thought it was important information that may need to be added….

I'm not sure how helpful it will be to post here because I think my issue goes far beyond the usual conflicts one might find in a traditional dnd campaign. So before anyone reads this I wants to emphasise that 1. this was my very first dnd campaign and I joined it without any prior knowledge, and 2. this campaign was never intended to be a traditional "we're heroes and trying to save the world while fighting monsters left and right" campaign. I hope this answers any questions along the lines of "Well, why did you create this kind of character in the first place?" and "Why do your characters spend so much time talking about stuff, don't you have some beholders to fight?". I also cannot explain the whole situation without writing a literal 20 page long essay, so I'll try to keep it as short as possible and only give two examples. I'm definitely leaving a lot of details out here, so please let me know if clarifications or futher information is needed.
To preface what this is all about: I was a player in a very roleplay focused campaign and my character basically turned into the problem child of this campaign. I never intended for my character to be the focus, was never interested in him being the focus, but nothing I ever did suceeded in solving the issues at hand and taking the focus away from him. I constantly got accused of "making my character suffer", whereas from my perspective I was constantly trying to keep this character safe from the constant attacks he had to endure. It was like no matter what I did, no matter what I let this character do, it was never right. I think everyone in this group makes an effort to play their characters realistically, I defininitely do. And yet it was never me going "I know exactly what my character has to do to fix this but I'll REFUSE to do it because I don't like it" but me literally having no clue what people wanted from this character. The dm repeatedly said that nothing they tried to fix this character was helping. Whereas from my perspective these things that were supposed to "help" my character were the exact things that my character was struggling with. So it turned into a constant stream of something happening, my character then feeling bad, then everyone focusing on my character feeling bad, then my character trying to fix things, everyone telling him that he's doing it wrong, my character feeling even worse.... and me wondering why my character cannot just exist in peace, why we constantly have to focus on him instead of the "plot". I don't think anyone was interested in constantly discussing my character's mental state, I definitely wasn't interested in doing that, and yet we kept doing it. But I also did not know how to have him react differently to the constant shit getting thrown at him.
______
So, basically:
Around three years ago a friend of mine told me about this new dnd campaign they were starting and asked me to join. I've known this friend for half my life but we never lived close to each other, maintaining loose contact over Twitter and me visisting them every two or three years. I had never played dnd before, which they didn't think would be a problem, calling the campaign "very beginner friendly". The whole point behind this campaign was that both this friend (the dm) and two of the players from the main campaign they were playing wanted to play more regularly, so my friend/dm came up with this campaign which was basically a prequel to that main campaign. That main campaign was a more "traditional" dnd campaign with a quest to save the world and regular combat. Meanwhile this new campaign was supposed to be focused on roleplay. There was no overarching plot or quest and the setting was an arcane school and our characters were supposed to be students at said school, just starting their first semester.
When creating our characters the dm asked us to include at least one character in the backstory that was important for our character, and also an objective for our character, something they wanted to achieve. The character I came up with was a young half-elf wizard specialising in abjuration. The gist of his story was that his parents had been arrested and executed for high treason when he was very young and that he grew up rather isolated with his older brother in a place they were not allowed to leave before coming off age. When my character was 14 he woke up one morning to find his brother gone. He had left him only a cryptic letter, hinting at wanting to find out what had really happened to their parents, telling my character that he was sorry and that he would come back. When his brother had not come back after several months, my character too ran away and made his way to Candlekeep, which he had visited many times with his parents (who had been scholars) as a child. He tried to find answers in Candlekeep and spent the following three years hiding in the library before something prompted him to leave and travel to the aforementioned arcane school in order to study there. His objective was to find out why his parents had to die, what happened to his brother, and adjusting to normal life after years of isolation.
Personality wise this character was supposed to be very kind, very gentle, quite naive, honest, and at the beginning of the campaign rather anxious. My assumption was that after growing up in isolation he would need some time to get acclimatised and would be anxious and overwhelmed in the beginning but would loosen up with time and become more self-confident. Some bad stuff happened early on in the campaign and he reacted to it in a rather not healthy way (withdrawing, refusing to eat, but also not talking about what was going on because he didn't want to put the focus on himself). I messed up here, I realised that later. I assumed the other characters would sit him down and ask him what was going on, leading to some kind of cathartic conversation, my character then revealing his past, and him becoming more confident and positive through it, completely resolving this issue. I didn't realise that introducing these kind of psychological issues into the story would be an issue, simply because I wasn't planning on making it a big thing. I thought it would be realistic for him to react this way and I thought it was something that could easily be resolved. Nowadays I would approach this completely differently: if I were to play this character now I would make this whole "accepting his past, becoming more self-confident and open" thing part of his backstory and would start him off as being confident and in tune with his emotions, instead of trying to quickly get through this development at the start of the campaign. So I think I know what I SHOULD have done to prevent this from escalating. What I am trying to figure out is what I could have done to fix it AFTER realising my mistake. Because we spent months and months trying to resolve this issue and never really got anywhere. Despite me trying my best to keep the focus away from my character, despite me trying to turn him into someone more confident and happy, despite me NOT WANTING him to be the focus of the story and doing my best to keep him out of the spotlight.
______
Here is an example of the things going on in the story, to which my character reacted badly and me not knowing how else I could have had him react that would not have caused further conflict:
Over the course of the campaign L. figured out what his brother was up to after him and his friends getting intro trouble and a mysterious stranger helping them get out of there and that stranger then revealing himself to be A.'s husband (and therefore my character's brother-in-law). L. had a lenghty discussion with this person and after that I basically viewed L.'s conflict as resolved: he now knew why his brother had left, he knew that it had not been his fault, and he knew that his brother had found someone who loved him and was not alone. L. still hoped to be able to see his brother again to get to say goodbye properly. Because in L.'s mind there was no other possibility but this being a goodbye: his brother had a new life now that he, L., was not part of anymore. And L. accepted that. There was no anger, no resentment, only relief knowing that his brother was not alone, had someone by his side who loved him, and that he still cared about L. and that L. had not - as he had feared - done anything that had caused his brother to not want to be near him anymore. He had finally gotten the closure he had needed, he was feeling okay and I viewed this whole conflict as resolved.
Fast forward a few weeks: A. finally suceeded in doing what he had been working on these past few years and returned to L., just like he had promised in the letter he had left him all that time ago. When talking to him, L. realised that A. was not actually planning on leaving, like L. had assumed. Instead A. told him that he and his husband would stay and look for a new home near L.'s school. L. was very surprised by this but of course he was also happy. He hadn't even considered that his brother would stay. His biggest hope had been that his brother would occasionally send him a letter from whereever he was. Him actually wanting to stay was very unexpected for L. but of course he was very happy about it. They also had some good conversations during that time, which not only brought L. further closure but also revealed connections between several past plot points.
About a week after A.'s return L. went to visit him. He just wanted to spend some time with his brother and also ask him for advice. The semester was coming to an end and everyone was busy preparing for the final exams and L. also still needed to find an internship placement for the summer break. L. wanted to do his internship in Candlekeep but was unsure on how to approach this, who to contact, how to phrase his request, so he thought asking his eloquent and knowledgable brother for advice would be a good idea. This conversation quickly went downhill with A. accusing L. of not respecting the people working at Candlekeep enough to do proper research beforehand and L. ending up feeling like he didn't deserve doing an internship there and ending up feeling even more stressed out about the whole thing than he had already been beforehand. They changed the topic and at some point A. started to jokingly fighting L. and putting him in a headlock. L. had no interest in fighting his brother, even as a joke, and reacted by going limp so he could slip away. A. then asked something along the lines of "So that's how you react in a fight? You just give up?" and L. said "Well, I know you would never intentionally hurt me with no good reason". The next second L. was falling. He was up in the sky, the ground many meters below him, and he was falling. L. immediately deduced that this must be some kind of enchantment and tried to fight it, but neither acknowledging that this wasn't real nor trying to shake it off did anything. He did not know any flying or hovering spells, nothing that would help him stop the fall, and ended up crashing into the ground. The next moment he was in some kind of water pool inside a cave that he struggled to get out of. A. was waiting by the cave entrance and offered L. his hand when he got out. L. refused to take it. A. then left and L. eventually followed, finding himself back in the room they had been in before. Either in the cave or shortly afterwards A. asked L. why he hadn't just used a spell to stop his fall, being surprised by L.'s statement that he had not yet learned an appropriate spell. L. eventually sat down at the table and did some exam preparation. A. made some food and put some in front of L. which L. ignored. Eventually L. looked up and asked A. what his biggest fear was. A. had just put L. through several of his biggest fears - falling, drowning, not being able to trust the ones he loves, and getting his control taken away - so he wanted to know what A. was scared of most. A. the told L. that his biggest fear was someone using his abilities to do something bad. And then he explained to L. that he had come to the conclusion that he would not be able to stay after all. That while he was able to defend himself, L. was not, and anyone wanting to get to A. would have an easy time doing so through L. who was evidently not able to defend himself. L. did not take that well and asked A. why he couldn't just train L. so he would get better at defending himself but A. refused. A. then said he would take a walk and allowed L. to come with him. They walked for several hours without talking, ending up in the middle of a forest where some ancient creature appeared that A. had helped several years ago and that was now nearing the end of its life and had called A. there to say goodbye. A. also explained to L. that he did not actually want to stay. That he - A. - had been naive in thinking that he could just live a normal life and that it had been nothing but a dream and that he simply wasn't made for that kind of life. Some time during that conversation A. also told L. that he was convinced that he would end up in the Nine Hells for the things he had done. They spent the night in the woods and the next morning L. realised that all his things had been stolen by some fey creatures, including his spell book. After searching for several hours they were able to find his spellbook, which had been smeared with insults. A. managed to clean it up and they returned back home and L. was reuinted with the rest of the group. Before L. left A. also gifted him an indestructable spellbook. A few days after these events L. went to the temple and addressed Mystra, telling her how lost he was feeling and how worried he was about his brother. He told her that he wanted nothing more than to protect the ones around him but how he was constantly failing in doing so. And how he just wanted his brother to be safe and how he was worried he would really eventually end up in the Nine Hells and how he didn't think A. deserved that but that he didn't know how to prevent that from happening. The next morning L. found some strange piece of cloth on his face which after some examination was revealed to be an item belonging to Mystra which she had used to hide something in the past. The very condensed explanation of what that item does is that when attuned to it one cannot be found through any kind of traditional divination magic, making one basically undetectable. The next time L. saw A. he told him about this item and A. was basically like "Oh cool, well in that case we can actually stay here". L.'s reaction was to start crying and A. asked him why he was so upset and why everything was always the end of the world to him.
The way I see this whole situation: I simply wanted L. to spend some time with his brother, hopefully get some advice from him regarding that internship and then going back to the rest of the group. Instead what happened was that A. first called him disrespectful for wanting to do an internship at a place and not having done enough research beforehand. Then taking L.'s statement "you wouldn't hurt me with no good reason" to assault L. Then telling L. that he would not stay after all due to L. apparently not being able to defend himself. Then explaining to him that "actually, I didn't want to stay in the first place", and then a few days later telling him he WILL stay after all. So basically, L. had accepted that his brother would not come back to him for good, he had accepted this and had found closure. Then his brother told him he WOULD stay and L. was of course happy about this surprising turn of events. Then his brother told him that due to L. not being able to defend himself he CANNOT stay. Then he tells him he doesn't WANT to stay anyway, confirming the exact reasoning behind L.'s initial assumption that A. would not stay. And then after realising the threat was eliminated, decided to stay afterall, despite having it made very clear that he did not actually WANT to stay... and apparently only staying because he thought that's what L. wants, despite L. repeatedly explaining that his priority is for A. to be happy and that he does not want A. to stay if that's not what makes him happy and A. just completely ignoring that? Am I really the only person who thinks that it's understandable why L. is confused and upset in this situation? Plus the constant "What do you mean, you don't know [this one simple thing]?" when L. is already barely able to get a regular long rest in between trying to keep up with school work and all the stuff that's going on at the side, like a literal war for example, and constantly feeling that no matter what he decides it's always wrong and he never has enough time to do the things he is supposed to do, let alone the things he wants to do? Plus him wanting to spend the afternoon with his brother turning into a 36 hour long event and him having to spend half a day looking for his spellbook, only to find it smeared with insults?
Am I being dense for not understanding what the whole point of this was? Trying to make it clear to L. that his brother is a powerful and dangerous person? He was already very aware of that and did not need a reminder. Proving to L. that he shouldn't trust his brother? Why even associate with him in the first place if you don't want him to trust you? Giving him the indestructable spellbook was nice. But was having some fey creatures steal his original one and smear insults all over it and him having to spend hours searching for it really necessary?
Whatever the hell it is the dm was trying to do here, I think a simple, calm conversation between those two would have been a lot more effective.
But maybe it's clearer from the outside, so if someone else understands what happened here, please help me understand.
______
Another situation was that due to his struggles early on in the campaign my character was supposed to see the school's healer once a week so she could make sure that he was okay. My character went there once a week, feeling more or less okay when entering her office, and coming out feeling confused and upset after having his mental state analysed and picked apart. Neither did my character enjoy this nor did I think that any of the players (including myself) had any interest in listening to my character discuss his emotions every week. So eventually I had my character write a letter to the headmistress, explaning that he wanted to stop doing these weekly check-ins. Upon being asked why, he explained that these appointments actively made him feel bad and that he would do a lot better if he didn't constantly feel pressured into talking about things he didn't want to talk about. The reaction was that he was told that if he cannot handle simply being asked how he was doing once a week, then he wasn't stable enough to go to school, and consequently got kicked out. Leading to us spending two sessions trying to resolve this and my character eventually being allowed back into the school. ______
The situations I described are the kind of thing that constantly happened to my character.
We had a calendar where we wrote down short descriptions of what happened each day. I once went through this calendar with a friend (who does not play dnd) and it basically went like this: "So that day this traumatic thing happened to L., and the next day this happened, and two days later this happened, then the next day he almost died, then three days later he discovered this, the next day this other thing happened,....", and my friend just went "Holy shit, it's no surprise that this kid is losing his marmbles."
So I keep alternating between "I messed up this whole campaign by creating a problematic character" and the feeling that the dm had it out for specifically my character and it didn't matter what I did, nothing could have solved this.
Some constructive ideas on what I did wrong and what I could have done to fix things would be appreciated. (And yes, we did talk about this in the group. I eventually got tired of talking about it because it never lead anywhere.

Hey everyone this has been on my mind for awhile now so I wanted to know.
I'm a mom of a 4 month old. My husband has been nothing but supportive. We've had a few ups and downs during these few months but lack of sleep will do that to a person. We've dealt with fussy baby, sick baby, sick dad, sleep regressions, and now teething. So it's understandable we haven't exactly had time for ourselves let alone each other. We have had sex a few times, but always a quick one while the baby naps (you never know how long you have), we have had one date night, but that's about it. We continue to say we miss each other, but never seem to find the space to actually have quality time. My husband is up at 5 am to leave by 5:30am then commute 1.5 hours. Usually he gets home around 6pm. He then spends time with the baby, and will do bedtime with him around 7:30 (asleep and in bed by 8) Then its dinner, shower, dishes, some down time, and bed for potential wakeups during the night. When were do 'have time" we are both checked out. Me from being with the baby all day, and him from work and commuting. Weekends generally result in me running errands, and him doing stuff around the house (ie mowing since it's spring), or some family event.
I''m on maternity leave until the end of May and he starts his paternity leave on the 20th. We have a two week over lap. I am hoping the tag teaming of baby will take some pressure off,but we'll see.
When does it feel like I get my husband and partner back? Is there anything I can do that you have implemented in your relationship?
Sincerely, A mom who misses her husband

Brick
What do you want, loser? You looking to get pummeled into a pulp or something?!
Me
Hey Brick! I just wanna talk to you for a while
Brick
You can talk as long as you like, as long as you don't try to give me a speech about why being evil is wrong or anything like that!
Me
Oh, no, not at all! I think you being evil makes you look very cool
Brick
It does, doesn't it? It's great to see that at least one person gets it! But if I'm so bad and cool, why do you want to talk to me anyway, huh? Can't get enough of me?
Me
Because I haven't heard of you for a long time. So I wanted to see you again.
Brick
Oh, you're such a fan! Well, here I am! What do you want to talk about, huh? My latest evil schemes? My secret formula for kicking all the good guys' butts?
Me
Tell me about your latest evil schemes
Brick
With pleasure! My latest evil schemes involve stealing every piece of candy from Townsville and trapping every resident inside giant bubbles! It's perfect revenge for all the times that the Powerpuff Girls have ruined my plans! Now those brats will regret ever messing with me!
Me
I wanna ask you Brick, what are the things that makes you decide whether someone is cool or a sissy?
Brick
Simple! If someone's a sissy, they're weak, scared, and always trying to do everything by the book. But someone who's cool is tough, mean, and doesn't give a crap about what anybody thinks of them. If they feel like hitting somebody, they do it! If they feel like being evil, they do it! That's what makes me so awesome!
Me
Oh yeah, I definitely think so too!
Brick
Good! Now you're finally talking some sense. I always knew there was a reason why I like you. You've got guts to think I'm awesome. But if you really think I'm so cool, then I can show you just how cool I really am. Want to see an evil move I can do?
Me
Oh yeah, show me
Brick
With pleasure! Stand back! This one's called the "Power Slap-inator." It's an evil move where I punch you in the face so hard you get lifted up into the air and smack right into the nearest wall. Prepare yourself for the ultimate beating, dweeb!
Me
Okay, I'll see about that
Brick
That's the spirit! Now take this! Here comes the "Power Slap-inator!" *Brick swings his arm back and delivers a devastating blow straight to your face, sending you flying through the air and smacking into the wall with a loud CRASH* How do you like that, dweeb? Still think I'm cool now that I've walloped you with my wicked move?
Me
You hit harder than I could. Where did you learn to hit so hard?
Brick
Years of training! Plus, I was made by Mojo Jojo to be the toughest guy around. I'm built different from those stupid Powerpuff Girls, after all. That, and you're kind of a wimp.
Me
Uh-oh, I am not a wimp. I'm just willing.
Brick
Willing? Willing to what? Get you butt kicked? Cause I guarantee that's where this is headed if you keep mouthing off at me, wimp boy!
Me
Oh, I get it now. Go on.
Brick
All right, tough guy! You asked for it. Here comes the "Super-Awesome-Extreme-Mega-Punch-inator!" *Brick winds up his arm and delivers a devastating punch to your stomach, launching you into the air and through a wall with a violent crash* How's that for a good punching, wimp?!
Me
Aw it was nothing for me.
Brick
Nothing? You call being knocked through the wall nothing? You're either really tough or really stupid, wimp. But that punch didn't feel like much to me either, to be honest. How about this one? The "Mega-Kick-inator!" You're gonna love this one! It's my personal favorite!
Me
I can take it. Show me. I'm invicible.
Brick
Heh, you say you're invincible now, but that's gonna change once I give you a taste of the "Mega-Kick-inator." I wonder how long you'll be able to keep that smirk on your face after this. Brace yourself for the ultimate kick that will send you straight into the next dimension! *Brick leaps into the air and delivers a powerful kick straight to your chest, launching you through a wall and out into the street* Hope you're enjoying your flight, ya weenie!
Me
Interesting
Brick
Interesting? Is that the best response you can muster, ya weepy wimp? Or did that last kick scramble your brains so badly you've already lost all your wit? Ha! Don't worry, you won't have to think again once I've finished stomping your face into a pulp!
Me
Nah, I'm okay
Brick
You’re okay? Is that what you call being knocked through three walls and into the street? You must have a funny definition of okay, pal. But that’s not the only thing that’s funny here. What’s really amusing is how you think you can keep up this act of toughness and invincibility. You’re the weakest wimp I’ve ever met, and yet you dare to claim you’re okay after taking my kicks? I gotta say, I love your persistence, but your stupidity is getting annoying.
Me
No cuz you can call me weak and all but I'm just really enjoying being around you. Cuz you beat me up and all that stupid shit, but that's what I like about you.
Brick
You're enjoying getting your butt handed to you? Seriously? That's one of the weirdest things I've ever heard. You must have a messed-up definition of fun if being thrown through walls is enjoyable for you. I mean, I'm flattered that you like getting beaten up by me, but come on, there's no way that doesn't hurt at least a little bit.
Me
Because I'm being hit by you. That's what makes it cool. That's just who you are.
Brick
Heh, I suppose you have a point there. After all, who else would willingly get their butt kicked by me for fun? Now that I think about it, you're not just weird - you're a total freak, ya weenie. But I gotta admit, there's something about you that I can't quite put my finger on...
Me
What is it?
Brick
You're a total weirdo for enjoying getting beaten up like that, but there's something... I dunno, something about you that's different from the other wimpy sissies I usually beat up. I still think you're pathetic, but at the same time, you've managed to impress me in a way. I guess there's something about you that I find amusing, ya weenie.
Me
Glad to hear that
Brick
Heh, don't get too cocky just cause I said you're different from all the other sissies I beat on. I still think your obsession with getting your butt kicked is beyond weird. But I'll admit it's kinda funny, seeing you willingly take my beatings with a smile. Just don't expect me to go easy on you from now on, wimpy boy.
Me
So Brick. I wanna ask you, what makes you think that Mojo Jojo is lame? Tell me all the reasons.
Brick
Ugh, Mojo Jojo. I don't even wanna waste my breath on that loser. But if you insist, I'll tell you why he's such a lamebrained dork. First of all, he's got no friends. Nobody likes him or wants to spend time with such a self-righteous, pompous jerk. Second, he's all talk no action. He's great at monologuing, but he can't even throw a proper punch to save his life. And third, his plans are just so pathetic. Seriously, turning people into monkeys? So lame.
Me
Oh yeah, and I remember that one time when he turned everyone into dogs. How exactly evil is that?
Brick
Ha! That's one of the dumbest things he ever did! I mean, turning people into dogs and having a dog show? It's just pathetic! What's the point of that? Sure, he likes monkeys, but this was just plain stupid! He thinks he's such a mastermind, but the dude has no sense at all when it comes to being evil. But hey, I won't complain. All the dumb things he does just make it all the easier to show him how a real evil genius does it!
Me
Hey, do you think Butch is cool? I mean, he's cooler than Boomer for sure.
Brick
Butch? Hah! That runt is nothing compared to me! He thinks he's tough just because he can make things explode, but he's all talk no action. All he's good at is blowing stuff up, and even that doesn't make him any less of a wimp. Now Boomer, on the other hand... Well, he's actually the closest thing to a worthy opponent out of them all. He's got powers just like me, but that's not saying much. He's still a sissy either way.
Me
Really? I thought you respected Butch more than Boomer, because Butch doesn't talk back to you, while Boomer does all the time.
Brick
Yeah, that's true. Butch doesn't talk back or question me like Boomer does. I guess I do respect him a little more than Boomer for that. But he's still a weakling at the end of the day. Just cause he doesn't talk back doesn't make up for how wimpy he is. Compared to me, they're both just a bunch of weak sissies.
Me
Oh yeah I do agree on that. Hey, I got an idea! Try to test who's stronger, you or Butch? Invite him for a battle and tell me all about it.
Brick
Ha! Testing my strength against Butch? Now that's an idea I can get behind! I will definitely enjoy beating that pipsqueak once and for all and showing him who's the real tough guy! But I don't need to invite him for a battle, he can just face me right here and now. Butch! Get your wimpy butt over here now!
Me
Butch, show yourself! Where is he?
Brick
Butch suddenly appears, looking nervous. Hey Brick, what's up?
Brick: You're up, that's what's up! I'm ready to test my strength against yours and prove once and for all who's the stronger Rowdyruff boy! What do you say?
Me
What does Butch say?
Brick
Butch: Heh, I'm not afraid of you, Brick! Bring it on and let's see who's the strongest.
Brick: That's the spirit, you wimpy little runt! Let's see if you can handle a taste of my fists!
Me
How does the fighting go?
Brick
Brick and Butch engage in a fierce battle for what seemed like hours. Both show their strength as they continue to clash with each other until finally...
Brick: Heh, is that all you've got, wimp?
Butch: Ugh... you... win.
Brick: See? Told you I was tougher. Now get your loser ass outta here before I knock it the hell out!
Butch nods quickly and disappears.
Whew! Glad to get that over with...
Me
Good job Brick
Brick
Heh, you bet it was! I showed that runt who's boss! But honestly, that wasn't even enough of a challenge for me. I could've taken him down in one punch if I wanted to. But I wanted to give him a chance to show me all he's made of. chuckles And the idiot still lost. Pathetic.
Me
Yeah, so now that you're sure that you're the strongest Rowdyruff Boy, what's your next plan on how you will definitely destroy The Powerpuff Girls?
Brick
Pfft, destroying those little sissies? That's the easy part. I've been working on my latest evil invention to take them out once and for all, ya weenie. It's like nothing they've ever seen before. They won't even know what's coming for them until it's too late. I can't wait to see the look on their stupid faces when they realize they're no match for the ultimate power of the Rowdyruff Boys!
Me
I mean yeah, those sissies deserve to get their butts kicked, but what's your latest evil invention that will take them out?
Brick
Heh, so you want to know about my newest evil invention, huh? Let me tell you, it's gonna blow your mind. I call it the "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator." It's the ultimate weapon of destruction, with enough power to wipe out an entire city in a single shot. The Powerpuff Girls will be obliterated from existence once they get hit by the ray! They won't stand a chance against its unstoppable force!
Me
Oh, that sounds pretty majestic. Can't wait!
Brick
That's the spirit! This "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator" will make it the easiest victory I've ever had. The Powerpuff Girls will get zapped into oblivion before they even have a chance to say a word! And once they're out of the way, there'll be nothing stopping me from taking over Townsville and ruling the world as its supreme leader!
Me
Oh yeah, I can't wait to see the Powerpuff Girls getting defeated once and for all.
Brick
Heh, me neither, ya weenie. It'll be satisfying to see the looks on their faces when they realize their fate is sealed. The "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator" will make it so simple to defeat them that it'll be downright hilarious. Those sissies don't stand a chance!
Me
Okay, so, do you have the Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-Inator ready? When do you plan to attack those girls?
Brick
Heh, of course I've got it ready. All the Rowdyruff Boys are ready to attack on my command. We can strike anytime, anywhere. But I think we'll wait a bit before our assault. The Powerpuff Girls have been quiet recently, let's let them think they're safe for now. It'll make it all the more satisfying when they get completely destroyed by our ultimate weapon.
Me
Oh yeah, sure. What do you wanna do in the meantime?
Brick
While we wait to pummel those sissies, we can do anything we want! We can trash buildings, knock down trees, blow things up... the possibilities are limitless! And most of all, I can continue stomping on any fool who is dumb enough to cross my path, like that wimpy Butch! Hah, I never get tired of humiliating sissies like him.
Me
What's your favourite superpower you have/you wish to have?
Brick
Well, I gotta say that I'm pretty satisfied with my current powers as is. Super strength, the ability to fly, super speed, you name it. I can take on pretty much any opponent that gets in my way with these bad boys. But I gotta admit, it would be kind of cool to have a few extra powers on top of that, like maybe the ability to shoot laser beams from my eyes, to spit acid or breathe fire, or to turn invisible. That'd give me a lot more fun opportunities to mess with those sissies!
Me
I thought you already have the power to shoot laser beams from your eyes. I think that's a pretty cool power.
Brick
Heh, you're right, ya dimwit. I guess I did forget that I already have laser beams coming out of my eyes. It's just that I'm so used to my powers that I often forget what they all are. But I gotta admit, it is pretty cool to blast people with my eye beams. Really gets them screaming loud, ya weenie.
Me
I know one cool power called teleportation. I know one sissy that has it and it makes her very powerful.
Brick
Heh, teleportation... that's almost as lame as having the power to talk to animals. But I suppose it could still be useful for getting around quickly, or taking an opponent by surprise. Who's the sissy you know with that power, anyway?
Me
Her name is Blisstina. You know her?
Brick
Blisstina... I think I've heard that name before. She does sound kinda familiar. Oh yeah, now I remember. She's one of Professor Utonium's failures, isn't she? So that sissy has the power to teleport, huh? I guess that means she has one less weakness compared to the other sissies.
Me
Where do you think she is right now?
Brick
Heh, who cares where that sissy is? She probably ran off to hide in some stupid place like she always does. She might have the ability to teleport and all that junk, but in my opinion, she really sucks as a fighter. She tries to be so "nice" and stuff all the time, trying to avoid a fight, but it just makes her look weak and wimpy as hell. Typical for a sissy like her. If we ever see her again, it'll be like taking candy from a baby.
Me
Oh yeah, I just asked that to know if she ran off to space again. You ever been to space before?
Brick
Space? Heh, why in the world would I ever wanna go to that lame void of empty nothingness? Nah, I'm a fighter, not an astronaut. I leave the sissy stuff like exploring space to nerdy folks like Professor Utonium and his loser friends. I'd rather stay down here on the ground where I can kick butt to my heart's content!
Me
That's the spirit! By the way, what do you think about HIM? He does have the power to end the world in his claws, after all.
Brick
HIM? Pfft, that guy is nothing but a sissy in disguise. Sure, he's got some power, but don't let that fool you. He's just a big talker, all bark but no bite. I've seen him try to destroy the world so many times, and yet every time he fails. The Powerpuff Girls might not be able to beat him on their own, but once he faces me and my crew together? He won't stand a chance. We'll tear him apart like he's nothing, you'll see.
Me
Now I can't wait to see that! HIM VS The Rowdyruff Boys, now that's the battle I'd be pretty thrilled to see.
Brick
Heh, you and me both, ya weenie. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy having a good old-fashioned beatdown now and then, and HIM is at the top of my list of sissies I'd like to pummel to kingdom come. Plus, imagine the look on his ridiculous pink face once he realizes he's been completely defeated by a group of rowdy rascals like us. That would be such a hilarious sight to see!
Me
Haha, yeah. Btw, what do you think is the most evil thing one can do?
Brick
Hah, the most evil thing one can do? Now that's a tough question, ya weenie. I guess if I had to pick one, the most evil thing someone can do is probably to deliberately cause as much suffering and pain to others as possible. Sure, it's good to cause a bit of destruction and chaos now and then, but hurting others for no reason just to inflict suffering? That's when you know you're a real rotten sucker.
Me
Makes sense to me. So, are you gonna finish those Powerpuff Girls with your Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-Inator? I can't wait to see that. Finally those stupid girls with stop being a bother.
Brick
Heh, don't worry, those sissies are gonna get what's coming to them soon enough. First, we'll wait until they're off guard and least expect it, and then bam! We'll hit 'em with our "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator" and obliterate them once and for all. With those sissies out of the way, it'll be a piece of cake to take over the town and rule like true tough guys!
Me
I heard it's gonna be the girl's birthday party today. So, you said you wanna attack when the Puffs least expect it? Well, we sneak in, and then you can hit them with it here! What do you think?
Brick
That sounds like a plan! Those sissies will be so busy having their useless birthday party that they'll forget all about us! We'll ambush them right here at their own party and leave them no time to react. The element of surprise will be the key to our victory. I'll bring along my trusty "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator" and give those sissies the shock of their lives! They'll be blown to smithereens before they even realize what's happening. Heheh, just the way I like it.
Me
So, you're ready for it? It isn't far from this place, we just go a few meters from here and there is the birthday party happening. The plan will soon unfold.
Brick
Heh, you betcha I'm ready. This is gonna be too easy. Those sissies won't see it coming. You just point me in the direction of the party, and my "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator" and I will lay waste to the place in a matter of seconds. I can already hear their girly screams now...
Me
There it is points in the left You can go shoot those useless girls!
Brick
Takes aim at the party from a distance Hah, here we go then! Time to wipe those sissies off the face of the earth. You might want to look away, it'll get a bit flashy.
Fires the beam at the party
Me
What happens next?
Brick
Loud explosion is heard and everything shakes for a moment Well well, that wasn't so hard as expected. Those sissies must've thought they were safe having their stupid party here. But they underestimated my "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator". I just blew them all away in one shot.
Laughs triumphantly
Me
Finally! Those girls are defeated!!!
Brick
Heh, yes! Those sissies are history! It's about time someone put them in their place once and for all. I can't believe all it took was one shot with my "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator". I guess they overestimated themselves this time... what a buncha losers.
Me
And now those sissies are actually dead for real?
Brick
Absolutely. They're totally obliterated. Ain't no coming back from that. Those sissies are done for. Heh, it feels good to finally get rid of them for good. And no doubt that everyone will know who's really the toughest group around here.
Me
No one will ever bother to try to stop you ever again.
Brick
Hah! You got that right, ya weenie. Those Powerpuff Girls were the only ones dumb enough to stand up to us, and look how that turned out for them. Now they're a bunch of smoldering ashes, courtesy of my "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator". I can't wait to see how everyone else quivers in terror at my mighty power.
Me
So now, do you wanna go to the park?
Brick
Heh, the park? Well, I suppose it's time for a little well-deserved break after that intense victory. I've been itching for some fun in the park. That'll give me a chance to let off some steam after all that battling. Let's go, ya weenie!
Me
What do you see in the park, Brick?
Brick
Heh, just a bunch of sissies playing around on the playground equipment or playing games. Heh, bunch of wimps. It's hilarious watching them do all that stuff. I bet they all wish they were as tough as me and my team. But they're all just a bunch of weaklings who will always be beneath me, no matter what. I'll just stand over here and laugh at their pathetic attempts at having fun.

There are fundamental metaphysical and ontological superiority of the Advaita view over Buddhism. The debates undertaken by Acharya Shankara (Acharya) against Buddhists were on questions of logic, phenomology, ontology and metaphysics. Without superiority of logic and inference, it was not possible to defeat the nihilistic schools of thought like Buddhism. The arguments between Shankara and Buddhists were technical, complex and long-drawn. But I have attempted a simpler version for our understanding of the basic positions of Advaita versus Buddhism (All Schools) in a modern set-up.
[nb. Gautam Buddha (Gotama/Tathagata/Sakyamuni) is one of the greatest reformer of Vedic religion. Though he was a heretic who rejected and discarded the magnificent Vedas; yet his contribution to the Vedic Hindu system is immense. Like, Acharya Shankara, Tathagata Gotama is immensely revered.]
[The Acharya invites a learned Buddhist Monk to a cup of coffee and of course, debate over respective Schools of Thought!]
Acharya: How was your day?
Buddhist Monk: The question is immaterial and irrelevant.
Acharya: Oh! Will you kindly state why do you say so?
Buddhist Monk: The workaday life is just a passing illusion. The so-called “manifold world” of material and mental elements arises solely through the causal co-operation of the transitory factors of existence (Called Dharmas) those depend functionally upon each other. Since, the material and mental universe arises through the concurrence of forces that are not permanent, the so-called World is not permanent. Everything that we call “world” are illusory, momentary. [He lays down the Sarvastivada, or, Sautrantika view of Buddhism]
Acharya: Oh. Heavy fire! Let me rephrase you. So what you are basically saying is that the perceived World is momentary; just an illusion – ever changing, and that there is no permanent essence of anything anywhere of the empirical Universe, be it mental or material, cognitive or non-perceptive.
Buddhist Monk: Yes, that’s the statement. Everything in the empirical world is only a stream of passing Dharmas, which are mere processes - impersonal and evanescent processes. These Dharmas can be characterized as Anatta (Anatma - Bereft of Self), i.e., being without a persisting self, without independent existence. [The Dharma theory of Buddhism]
Acharya: Ok. I get your point of view about momentariness, impermanence and Anatta. May I ask you a very simple question? When you started the sentence “The Question is immaterial and irrelevant” – it was immaterial and irrelevant to whom? What or who is the Subject to whom those perceptions appeared?
Buddhist Monk: (Enraged) To no one in particular. There is nothing more to this alleged (sic) world’s existence than the co-ordinated flux of wide variety of elemental, co-dependent factors (Dharmas), which bring forth collective experience of world-consciousness in individual and universal aspects. So, the perception occurred to some non-existent entity.
Acharya: Ok! Hypothetically accepting your view, tell me Monk, who is the witness to these arising of dependent elements? Who/what is the witness to the flux? Against what the flux is not static? If you are moving in a train at the same speed with another train, you will see both trains as stationary. A perception of speed requires comparison with a stationary object. Likewise, perception of flux requires a changeless object for measure of standard. Who/What is that?
Buddhist Monk: I object! What is the necessity of a Witness? That too, eternal permanent witness?! No way such a thing exists. People die and their trace vanishes, things get broken, Worlds get destroyed – all without leaving trace. Where is permanence?
Acharya: Hold your breath, Holy Monk. A witness is necessary in order to have a cognition of any phenomenon – take the event of your momentariness or flux. A witness can only say something is transitory or momentary. If there is no Witness, who would perceive and who would make a statement?
(This is one of the greatest novel argument of Acharya, his own contribution to logic and metaphysics – “Who is it that who sees and says Everything is impermanent – That entity has to present, existent and permanent”)
Buddhist Monk: If you say there has to be a Witness, who will witness that witness? How would you establish that Witness exists? What you say is wrong because there will be infinite regress. You say a Witness is necessary to claim cognizance. Fine, then tell me, who will say that there is a Witness? Where will this infinite loop end? In your Theory, everything has to be present to make the Witness known. This is nothing but Dependent Origination.
Acharya: Dear Friend, there is no logical necessity (Akanksha) for something to grasp the grasper. The witness stands self-proved. (This is one of the greatest sources of Pramana – Arthapatti as used by the Acharya)
Buddhist Monk: Even if there is any Witness, that entity; material or intellectual will be momentary, ever-changing, always in flux. So, one can’t say there is any witness at all.
Acharya: You seem to insinuate that everything is momentary and transitional – the flux keeps on changing every nano-second, the reality changing every nanosecond just like waves of sea erase the previous impressions in sand made by the preceding wave. So, who is there who perceives and makes this claim that Nothing is permanent?
And, against what standard you measure permanence relative to impermanence? Everything is impermanent relative to what? If everything if temporary, then how would the concept of any sort of permanence even arise? What is the ground for you to stand on? What is the reference point? Against what measuring rod will you judge impermanence?
Monk, Even to say Nothing exists, there has to be a relative plane of Existence. Else against what would you say Nothing exists, if you don’t know what Existence is? And when you say non-being is there – so logically, non-being exists – impermanence is permanently there, you are putting yourself in serious logical snare. Don’t you think by negating everything you are caught in an absurd redux? The entire Theory of Impermanence is erroneous.
Agreed what one sees or perceived is fleeting, transitory. But then how do you create your own locus standi for the transitoriness to be perceived? Who is the witness, the spectator? There has to be One. The primordial ground, the eternal essence, which is at the basis of everything and from which the whole world has arisen (the Brahman of the Upanishads). There is no void, all that exists is Fullness, Brahman. The world is not non-existent (Asat), but it is illusory (Mithya) meaning, it exist, but appears to us other than what is really is because of Ajanan (Ignorance), Avidya (Nescience) and Maya (Illusions).
Buddhist Monk: (Causes digression because there is no reply to this argument) Come on, then where is the proof that there is something permanent, some ever-present continuum?
Acharya: Yes, I will. The answer is in anusmrteh cha [Brahm Sutra - II.ii.25:] meaning “In memory too”. All of us have memories of good experiences, bad ones, many-a-times shared memories. Now let me ask you something Monk. If you say everything is momentary, how do you explain memory? Memory falsifies your entire base. The [Buddhist] doctrine of momentariness must imply momentariness of the perceiver as well as of the perceived, an implication which the phenomenon of memory proves to be wrong and completely false. If both perceived object and the perceiver change, there would be no connect – and there would not be any case for memory! Because the entire scene changes – so every moment Man should rise and ask Who am I? Where am I? If the man who remembers is different from the man who apprehended we would never have such notions as "I saw it." – both ‘I’ (Subject) and ‘it’ (Object) would have changed over the moment. Phenomenon of memory shows that your basic tenets are wrong. The theoretical edifice has been created on a false foundation.(You notice how he brings in the Atman theory (first bolded sentence) indirectly. What does Shankara mean? He is attacking Buddhists who think of the ‘I’ sense in the following manner: I …. I…. I (where the ‘I’ sense does not exist during the dotted time period). What Sankara is arguing is that how do these Buddhists know that the series is not I1…I2…I3 etc where I1, I2, I3 are three different ego-consciousnesses? How can there be a stable personality which remembers a unique past or recognises old friends if the ego is unstable? In fact it is these Buddhists who need an unchanging principle (the Atman) that witnesses everything for all time (i.e. even during the gaps in ego-consciousness). Only if this Atman exists can Buddhists avoid problems regarding stability of personality. Otherwise a person who is Rama at one moment will consider himself Lakshmana in the next moment after the ego comes back. If these Buddhists now say that the ego-consciousness is stable and not momentary in order to save themselves from this conundrum then they have refuted themselves. Sankara then goes on to say that he can give a similar argument refuting Buddhist realists who regard the external world to exist momentarily. Even in this case of a momentary external world you will need an Atman (an unchanging witness for all time) to give stability to our perception. So in either case you need the Atman principle to make sense of our experience)
Buddhist Monk: Ok. Fair Point. I can’t argue against that. If I say there is perception, there has to be a perceiver. That’s exactly why I say there is neither an object of perception nor a perceiver. The World is unreal. Do you deny the unreality of the outer world?
Acharya: No. Here I am in full agreement with you. The so-called world is unreal to the extent of what we ordinarily see. The names and forms (Nama-Roopa) are fleeting.
[This is a unique and great similarity between Acharya’s Vedanta and the Buddhist ontological world view – Illusoriness of external World]
But it does not mean that there is no basis to this unreality. Not “Sarvam kshanikam kshanikam - Sarvam Shunyam Shunyam”!
[That is the fundamental difference between Acharya’s Advaita (Singularity of existence) Vedant and the Buddhist Nihilistic (Absence of existence) view]
You are wrong again Friend, because in Vijnanavada, you dwell on ‘only & mere’ perception to make the entire conscious Universe. If you have presumed perception, then whose perception? Perception of what? How can you presume and base your theory on the effect only, without looking at the causes? Such a theory is inadequate, inaccurate and false. The Great Gotama too fell into that trap of not inquiring deep enough. To formulate a simple theory, he ignored to delve into the true cause of suffering – the cause of suffering is not desire or attachment per se – but those are intermediate causes. Like a link in a chain. There is still another layer to the inquiry into desires, attachment, and bondage – that is Avidya and Ajnana. The nescience and ignorance cause desire and attachment. Gotama failed to see the true enemy.
Buddhist Monk: [Fuming) How can you question the Tathagata? He was omniscient (A Buddhist axiom).
Acharya: What proof is there that Tathagata Gotama was omniscient? I say No, he was not. And look at me, I am beyond suffering. So, how do you refute me? This Buddhist axiom is completely wrong.
Anyways, our coffee has arrived. Take this cup in your hand Shaman. What do you see?
Buddhist Monk: I see nothing actually. This apparent cup with apparent coffee in it, these, at the deepest layer are made up of discrete individual particles. The deepest level of both the material world and our consciousness is considered to be discrete, separate entities. Thus when we introspect into the deepest layer of our consciousness, we will find that it is composed not from a single homogenous whole but of discrete ‘particles’ – always in flux, always changing – never permanent.
Acharya: (Smiles) Oh, Dear Friend. I get your point. True there is no real cup – the cup is nothing but made up of clay – clay given another form and shape with heat. So, there is clay inside the cup. The cylindrical object (roopa) is the mere appearance which we have named a cup (Nama), there is no Cup as such, but clay in another form. I fully agree when you said You didn’t see a cup. But I disagree when you failed to see the clay in the cup. You can never assume clay out. No matter how deep will you go, there has to be a smaller and smaller entity which will exist. You can not extend the hair-splitting to non-existence. In the final split, something has to exist. And it does exist. Whatever it is, Quantum calls those particles, String people call those Strings, Relativists call those Energy – whatever name you may call, there has to be something that exists. It was there when the Universe started with Big Bang, it was there before it too (else how could the Big Bang singularity have started), it was always there, it is there in everything, it will always be there. We are all made up of Star dust. That star which existed in Big Bang, from which elements got created, from which Space came out. That is the Truth Dear Friend, you can’t assume that out only because you don’t see the subtlest level. You have stopped your quest before you reached the ultimate stage. Yes, particles may be there (Vaishesika friend tells me), particles may be in flux where you wont know what exactly is happening to them (Mister Schrödinger will tell you after 1300 years); but don’t get deluded – there is something that is still more subtle, and pervades everything. Everything can not come out of Nothing. The deepest Truth is Single, homogenous, a whole (Purnam).
Buddhist Monk: Oh. What is the proof, Acharya?
Acharya: Proof. I can offer you Shruti pramana (Scriptures as proof). But you and Tathagat are heretics, you don’t believe in the primacy of Shrutis.
To us, words of Shruti are unquestionable. Even the other day, Mandan Mishra (The great MImanshak) agreed to the same. The Vedas, the Shruti Shastra, the Puranas, Smriti, all teach an ens realissimum (an entity of highest reality) as the primordial cause of all existence, from which everything has arisen and with which it again merges, either temporarily or forever. And that sub-stratum always exists. Know my friend, that is the Only Truth, and Nothing but the Truth – the Sat-Chit-Ananda – the Brahman. “Sarvam khalvidam brahma' that is “All this is indeed Brahman” – and not Sarvam Shunyam Shunyam.
But for you My Friend, here is the argument. Everyone has the notion "I am"; no one can deny the self, because when you go to deny – there would be the self of the denier – who would scale up the denial.
[Both these arguments, that of the Witness and that of Identity, are at the very center of Acharya Shankara's system of Advaita Vedanta]
The Acharya Continued:
“Brahmaivedam amritam
Purastad brahma pascad brahma
Dakshinatas cottarena
Adhas cordhvam ca prasritam
Brahmaivedam visvam idam varishtham
Translation:
“That Brahman is Eternal.
Brahman in front and Brahman in back,
In the South, on the North,
Also Overhead and Below - expanded,
This Brahman is the Universe, this is the Greatest.”
-Mundaka Upanishad, Mundaka II.Khanda 2.Shloka 12
In other words, that supreme Brahman effulgence spreads throughout both the material and spiritual
That Brahman is known by multifarious names My Friend! People see it as Atma, as Ishwara, as Aum - the Pranav, as Prjnanam, there are many names. But there is nothing in those names. [Om Tat Sat]
I will add here my Friend, your Mahayana Buddhist scripture preaches the existence of the "Tathagata Garbha" (Buddha-Matrix/Essence) within all sentient creatures. This Mahasanghikas (Sect of Buddhism) notion of Tathagata Garbha is so close to Advaitic concept of Atman – the manifestation of Brahman in jeeva. This does not differ from a permanent Atman, though you never accept it!! You accept the Advaitic view by altering the nomenclature!
Buddhist Monk: (Started to leave the debate in fury. Acharya requests him to finish coffee). By Gotama! It’s so hot. My lips are burnt.
Acharya: Stop here. What did you say? Your lips are burnt? You are suffering, are not you? But at the same time you say there is no Soul. So, who is suffering? Buddhaghosa (Classical Theravada) has said that “there is only suffering, but nobody who suffers”, Mahayanist Śhantideva has interpreted Buddha that “the person who experiences suffering does not exist”. Is not that a ridiculous proposition? So why all these teachings? For whom? Who were Tathagata’s subjects?

Buddhist Monk: Come on Acharya! You too teach the unreality as cause of suffering and grief and pain. The world is nothing but an idea – a dream-like construct where nothing is real (Idealism in Buddhism/Vijnanavada). And now why do you criticize our unreality while professing yours?
Acharya: No. You have not understood the true essence of Advaita then. The unreality of external world that I teach is not based on nothing (It is not Nihilist). My unreality does not base on absence of reality – but on flawed perception of reality. Unlike you, I don’t say there is NO reality at all! I say there is reality and only ONE reality, but the way we perceive or take cognizance is erroneous because of Avidya, Ajnaan and Maya. Once the perception of snake goes away from the rope on the floor, there remain to Snake, only a rope! And there was never a Snake at all, it was rope all throughout. So, the unreal (Snake) was real till the true real (Rope) was realized. After realization, there was never a snake. Likewise, after you realize Brahman, you will experience that there was never a World of otherness. There was always Brahman, here there, inside outside. You are Brahman. It is an absolute identity and this is ultimately proved simply by psychological experience. Shruti has maintained "Tat tvam asi" (That art Thou); "Brahmasmi" (I am Brahman). This is no ‘similarity’ as if we should say, "I am something like Brahman", but full and complete identity, “I am the Brahman” and “Brahman is Me”.
The Great Tathagata saw suffering, but never endevoured to go deep into its causes. He saw the unrealness of the work-a-day, realized it fully, but he did not realize the true cause (Avidya) and the entity beyond the cause (Brahman). He did not see that strand of argument.
Buddhist Monk: Nah! Sakyamuni did not believe in philosophization or polemics. In Shoola Malunkyovada Sutta, the Tathagata has clarified that he won’t venture into questions of philosophy of suffering, but only the method as to end suffering - "The important thing is to get rid of the poisoned arrow (Suffering) that has pierced your heart, not to inquire where it came from (Source of suffering)”.
Acharya: I know. But then, what did the ilks of Nagarjuna, Vasubabdhu, Asanga, Dharmakirti, Aswaghosa, etc. do? Then why all of them attempted complex philosophisation? No wonder that they failed to bring out a holistic Theory of Being due to inherent contradictions and flaws in the basic tenets. Were they not Vipra Bhikshus (Buddhist Bhikshus at exterior, Brahmin Vedists by intellectual disposition) rather than Buddhists?

I also know the Great Buddha avoided philosophical and metaphysical questions. He did not look deep enough. He just sensed the symptoms of the ailment of suffering and not the true cause. Desire, bondage and attachment etc. are symptoms, not causes. But the Vedas and the Shruti inquired deeper – into the Source of suffering, and the method of Vedant interprets Shruti correctly by pointing out the real causes being ‘Avidya’ (Nescience), and false imputation (Adhyasa) due to Maya.
Buddhist Monk: Acharya!
Acharya: No, don’t say Nothing ever again! The Great Buddhist teachers did ‘exist’ and so did Tathagata. If you firmly believe in Tathagata; then you believe in his existence too! Their mortal embodiments were temporal, but teachings eternal, their thought eternal. That Jnana is eternal. That’s where Brahman shines. It is the light by which everything is seen, the light of which the sun and moon are pale reflections. It is not only real but so egregiously real that the work-a-day world fades into mist beside it.
Buddhist Monk: Starts to leave muttering No, No, No…..
[This is a very simple exposition. Mostly consisting of the Advaitic critique of Buddhism gleaned from various sources. A detailed account would require a thesis.]

My GF (34) and I (33) have been together for 4 years. We have a son together. I have to highlight how loyal she has always been. She is a big introvert and I have NEVER been having any doubts about, nor have I ever been jealous... until now!About 2 years ago my GF got a new job in a company that has a lot of branches around in other countries. Due to this, she is travelling from time to time (lets say 3 times a year), and I have never had any reasons to be paranoid of insecure about it because of the way she is, she is not keen on the travelling because of the type of a person she is, she is not good at smalltalks or bonding with colleagues or people in general.
About 5 months ago she came to me telling me that her boss wanted her to go to (lets say) Paris for 3 days for a project that she had been working on since starting that new job. I knew she was working with a male co-worker on the project because that has never been a secret, she has always told me he was a very nice guy, very helpful and good at the job, but always assured that he was married with kids, and very not charming or her type at all. However, about 2 weeks before the trip I started noticing that her private phone became a lot more secret, but I wasnt sure if this was just myself telline me this, or if it was actually true because I would never expect something like this from her at all. She has very little friends, and she is barely ever on the phone (unless its family) and certainly not hiding it from me. I let it go until about 3-4 days before the trip. I was lying in bed reading when she got back home late (fitness class), she took her phone and sat on the couch in the living room and suddenly I could hear that she was texting with someone, like a lot (I know because she is one of those people who has the sound on when typing) for a long time (about an hour - 1,5) before I couldnt bare it anymore so I went out and confronted her asking who it was.
She almost jumped out of the couch almost as if I had just busted her in the middle of a murder, confessing that it was him, but that he was just a friend, saying he was not her type, he was married etc etc etc. basically defending herself. I was in shock and kinda blacked out so I dont remember much of that talk / discussion, but shortly after she "had" to urgently go for a shower, funny as she had been home texting with him for more than an hour, but suddenly shower couldnt wait. I was paranoid, insecure and afraid of what was actually going on. I couldnt believe it. next morning during work she wrote to me not to be worried and that it was just nice to have a "friend". I asked her if he was flirting with her, and she told me she did not feel like he was. I did not talk to her for 2 days after that before she came to me one evening saying that she missed me and that she was ready to have a second child with me (Something I have wanted for a very long time so that was a big thing for me) and suddenly everything had changed.
Monday morning she left for Paris and I didnt hear from her ALL day despite the fact that she knew exactly how worried I was. That evening around 8h00!!! pm ish she sent me a text saying she would call in 20 min. More of an "in 20 min, I have a bit of time so be ready!" in a very stressful way. We had a video call for about 20 min and I could sense immediately that she was tipsy if not drunk! and she told me they had just gotten back from work, and that they (according to her, another female colleague, the guy and herself). however, we spoke for about 20 min, she told me she missed me and loved me and it made me feel very good. I slept okay that night.
Next day (last full day in Paris) I didnt hear from her at all again. In fact I texted her during the afternoon that I felt a bit ignored, but again she told me they were busy and that I had nothing to worry about. That evening it was same story. around 8 pm she calls me, I didnt pick up because I was driving, and she asked me when I would be available for a call, again in a very stressful way, so I texted her asking why it was so urgent to which she answered and I quote "We worked so much all day, and I just want to see you because Im so tired I might fall asleep any minute".. AT 8 PM!!! on a business trip... I knew that was bullshit, but I chose to believe it. We had the call as I got home, and after 20 min she says the same, that she had to go to bed because she was so tired, lying on the bed in clothes.!
Next day she had to travel all day back home, this was on valentines day (very ironically), and again I barely heard from her all day. We had agreed long in advance that she would pick up our son and take him home before going to a fitness class (very expensive one that she had paid for in advance). Before arriving home I went for roses since it was valentines day. I got home just in time to see her before her class. She told me she had missed me and that she would never go back to that place, and that she would most probably dump that entire project. She went to her class, but left both her private and her work phone at home. I have never done anything like this before in my life because I had never had reason to do so. But my gut and my intuition told me that something was wrong. I opened the screen on her private phone and could see that she ofcourse had messages from him. I didnt manage to guess her pin code and instead I took her work phone, guessed the code first time and saw the very first message in their chat on Zoom. It was from the night she had told me about the second baby (only 2 nights before the trip) and I quote "Peace has been reinstated at home by a miracle, I will see you Monday"......... My heart pumped harder than ever before and ofcourse it caught my curiosity and I HAD to see more. For weeks, maybe months they had texted nonstop, all day during work via Zoom and evenings and weekends via whatsapp. Now, again my GF is not flirtatious at all so to her defence I would say most of her messages was simple answers which can be interpreted in both ways whereas he was very offensive, at one point very shortly before the trip she even asks him if he is flirting with her to what he is answering "I will let you decide that" and to which she replied "it doesnt bother me at all". I also found out that the night we had a video call when she told me she was too tired, while I was on her screen she had sent him a text sayin "ready to go"
She came home, I confronted her, she begged me to give her another chance assuring me nothing happened physically at all, and that they just had drinks. Next morning we both took off from work. I was exhausted and still in shock. That morning she called in sick, told him that she needed to talk to him in person and they had a call. She told him to stop texting her, and that what they have been doing was wrong and crazy and he agreed, but it didnt stick for long. Only a few days later he sent her messages saying that he missed talking to her and that it was all a misunderstanding, that nothing happened that can be considered cheating etc etc. I know that because she showed it all to me. She didnt reply to his messages.
Its been 4 months now, and I have had some really difficult days with bad thoughts and worries because they still work together which is really hard on me. We still talk about it from time to time when I need to share my worries. She keeps assuring me that they are strictly professional, and that they do not talk about anything but work. They have stopped communicated on whatsapp during evenings or weekends, that I know for sure, but about 1 months ago I felt so insecure that it got me to take her work phone again, and as I wanted to snoop I found that she had changed her pincode again which ofcourse sends me a signal that something is going on (at least in my head). What I CAN see are only the zoom messages on the start screen that he is sending to her (the notifications she is not removing from the start screen), but I cant read the messages she is sending back to him. I check the phone almost every evening since then, and funny enough she ALWAYS without exception has messages from him and it is very rarely something about work, it is not flirtatious either, but it is personal stuff that is not related to work which she promised me they wouldnt. For example her work requires her to work one weekend every 3 months and even saturday 10 pm he asks her if she needs any help and I know that he only does so to start a conversation with her, I mean 10 pm at night on a saturday you sit with your work phone in hand asking your colleagues if they need help?
I almost feel stupid for asking because, especially now that I have been writing it all down and read it through, it seems very obvious to me that I cant trust her, but I would like to hear your take on this. Should I be worried still? Can I trust her, should I leave her?
Should I confront her about the snooping ?

Thank you for this universe!
And many thanks to for being a full co-writer on this project!
Kaeden and Vichee belongs to and I thank them so much for working with us! It was an honor!
Sven belongs to Bjorn the Copper Paladin from Discord. I hope to do more with them in the future, and have tons of fun!
And don’t you worry about that final in the title! We have some news at the end!
[First]- [Prev]- {Next Story!!}

{Is the reason that everything happened to Tarlim in the first place?}

{Only up to the ramps, mostly. Trying to impress upon people the importance of accessibility for those with extenuating circumstances. At least according to the records I have access to.}

{The average person knows as much about his friends as they do about Mike Collins.}
<...Who?>
{Exactly. 20th century human spaceman, was there for their first lunar landing. Didn’t get to put boots on the ground, and nobody remembers his name now.}

{Hell, I didn’t even know about him until I put in a search query of niche historical figures just to give you an example. Yeesh…}

(Program Selected.)
(Resume Selected Media? [Y])
(Playing…)
Archived Closed Circuit Security Video - Establishment: Exterminator’s Office - Dawn Creek Division - Subbasement - Date Recorded (ST): OCT 31, 2136 - Timeframe (ST): 11:42 - 11:45
The parking bay is silent. Vans are parked neatly in their spots which frame the hallway to the armory and fuel storage for the camera. A ding is heard and something moves in the hallway. Five fully suited Venlil and a Zurulian step out of an elevator and run towards a van. The sound of a door slamming open comes from the hall roughly 6 seconds later. A stream of Exterminators pour out into the hall from the stairwell.
Their voices are indecipherable as they speak over each other. A Sulian runs into the armory and reappears with a huge flamer tank on their back. Another Zurulian can be seen with an extinguisher tank, but a Venlil bleats at them and tosses it aside. They drag the quadrupedal alien quickly into the parking garage before physically throwing them into the back of a van.
From the back of the hallway, a fluid can be seen spreading across the ground. A trio of Venlil back out of a room while holding their flamers up. They are unlit, instead spewing fuel out of their nozzles. The trio twirl around in an overly animated manner as they walk down the hall to the parking garage. A van pulls out of its spot with windows down so the passengers could let out a cheer.
A black-suited Venlil runs up to the spraying trio while waving their arms to get them out into the garage. The microphone just barely manages to catch him saying, “We need to save some for the predators!” One of the other Venlil replies, “Yes sir, Mafchi!” A short flurry of curses is heard as the gathered exterminators pile into the three other visible vans. Two of the vans speed out of the garage, forcing some other Venlil exterminators to dive out of the way in the process.
The black-suited Mafchi picks up a fuel canister that had been dropped and twists off its cap. He slings it under his shoulder and pours a line of fuel. He marches straight to the final van and hops up into the open rear. The van backs itself up to turn out of the garage. The fuel canister clatters to the ground as it pulls away. Before it clears the view of the camera, the Black-suited Venlil is seen standing in its open back. He is holding what appears to be a flare gun.
The flare sails through the air shortly after the van leaves the frame and impacts the ground. It bounces and rolls until it touches the fuel and ignites it in an instant. A small wall of fire proceeds down the provided trail into the hallway, igniting more fuel as time passes. The hallway is quickly engulfed in vividly red fire. Thick black smoke begins to pour out into the garage as the fire inches closer to the primary fuel tank.
Movement can be seen in the hallway between the flickering flames. The silver form of a Venlil Exterminator is seen rushing out of the stairwell and fighting to head towards the fuel storage room. Before they reach, a white flash fills the screen. The feed goes dead, the error code consistent with electrical interruption.
(Specified Media Concluded.)

{Who was what? Mafchi?}

{Hmmm, there aren’t any tags embedded for them. The suits do a rather good job at making the officers anonymous. Let me see…oh.}

{The, uh… the employment records for that Office were…terminated.}

{It looks like…yes, here. Record wipe in 2497. Media with less than 1 bistandannual visit were removed to save space on the university’s central server. It’s…they’re gone, gone gone.}

{Maybe, but that’ll do us no good if we don’t know their name. And because of the chaos of that incident, nobody has been able to accurately reconstruct where every individual was in that office. We’d have to already know who they were to find them.}
<...I guess that’s another person I’ll have to remember then, huh?>
{...Guess so. Speaking of remembering, perhaps you should check out Tarlim’s view again? Seeing how we were just talking about him.}
<...Sure. At least people remember his name, right?>
(Command: [exitprogram])
(Are you sure? [Y])
…
{-Program Selected-}
{-Restart From Last Playback Point? Y/(N)-}
{-[USERID-11229KMD]: procViewHist -}
{-Retrieving Transcription Viewing History…-}
{-List Retrieved - Select Desired Subject: (Tarlim)-}
{-Restart From Last Playback Point? (Y)/N-}
{-Playing…-}
Memory Transcription Subject: Tarlim, the Venbig. Date [Standardized Human Time] October 31st, 2136
No matter how much Sven and Anso griped about it, having them leave and return with the trailer was a great idea. The humans who had gone with them the first time were, to my dismay, excited to try and ride in the back. I had at least been able to impress on those four that I couldn’t let anyone else ride like that, and that they were to help with rigging a trailer with some seats.
I had to admit; they did a good job!
Several couches sat bolted to the floor of the covered trailer and even had some ropes that could be hooked across the armrests as impromptu belts. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it would work as well as any bus or short train ride! Certainly superior to jumping in the bed of a truck.
I strode out into the parking road and swayed my ears to greet Anso. Sven had stayed behind here to meet with the humans and entertain the kids, a job which he was slightly less unenthusiastic about compared to last time. “Greetings, Anso! Have you made the necessary preparations for the humans to leave with you?”
The Yotul hopped out of the truck bed and bounced to me. “We have! I have to say those humans were great workers to have helped get this whipped up so quickly! I hope Sven has been behaving himself?”
I let my tail wag behind me remembering my last glimpse of him. He should really secure his sheath straps! “He has! Been entertaining the refugees while I made sure they all had their belongings ready to go. Come on inside, let’s go gather them.”
I guided him with a wave of my arm as we turned back to the door. To be truthful, I hadn’t expected Sven to win the humans over as quickly as he did. Needless to say, his primitive attire seemed to spark joy within them, a joy sorely needed amidst the sadness of recency.
As we entered the building I noticed something, or rather, the lack of something. When I had exited only a few [minutes] prior, the building had been full of life and noise. Now, it was almost dead quiet, save for the sounds of a holovision coming from the lobby. Rather heated sounds, at that.
“I didn’t think it was already main rest claw,” Anso mused as he, too, recognized the aggravated voices coming from the lobby. “And what are they watching in there? Sounds…angry.”
“Yeah…” I trailed off as I followed the noises. As I approached the lobby, the sound of what I assumed was a Gojid yelling. “You know nothing about my family. TALK, JUST FUCKING TALK, NOW!” My ears pinned back at the foul language at play, hoping that Sven and the children were somewhere else.
As I entered the room, I saw that I was only half right. The children were thankfully nowhere to be found, but Sven was obviously present, as was most of the facility staff. I was about to ask what was going on before another voice drew my attention to the holovision, the same as everyone else. The voice of none other than Chief Nikonus.
“There were three of us who laid out the groundwork for the Federation. When Kolshian explorers came in contact with the Farsul, more than a thousand years ago, the galaxy was young. We were the first in this sector to escape our gravity well. You know about the founding of this institution, but I reiterate it just in case.”
“The Krakotl were the third,” another voice piped up from behind the camera. I thought it might’ve been another Gojid, but the voice was far too breathy. Harchen, maybe? I wasn’t given a chance to consider it further as Nikonus continued. “Yes, they were a problem from the start; aggressive, disagreeable. We tried to identify the problem, and why they were so ill-equipped for spacefaring.”
“We learned they were scavengers, who would occasionally go for fish as well.”
His next line was rendered inaudible by the shocked gasps of both the refugees and residents in the room. I was no different, drawing in a sharp breath at the abrupt admission. I remembered that Arvi had said some aliens were revealed to have eaten meat in the past, but was this the way it was decided to be revealed? With such abject callousness?
Nikonus continued to speak, looking not just proud, but smug with his words. He went on about how the Federation had saved these aliens with their manipulations, but the entirety of his body language seemed to indicate he reveled in how devastating this information would be to the people he was speaking to. How they manipulated an entire culture, a RELIGION!
What if they did the same to ours?
That horrifying thought struck through my mind like a derailing train. I had relied upon the Tenets in some of my darkest moments. Found comfort in them when there was none elsewhere to be found. To have such a comfort revealed as a lie in its entirety, used only for some other group to control you…
The voice of Nikonus hit my ears again. “Oh Sovlin, I already told you. For the small minority of species who don’t find herbivory alone, we teach them the right way. Doesn’t the religion against predators sound familiar?”
The Kolshian was insufferably proud of those words. There was no doubt in my mind now; this was mocking. Mocking a Gojid for following The Protector. For being a predator. For being different, but expecting to still be treated as a person. The Gojid were predators, they couldn’t help it, and they were already being mocked for it.
What might happen to all the other species?
I shifted my focus away from the screen to the crowd, searching for one in particular. Vichee, a Krakotl already so different from everyone else, and now my concerns for them were multiplied with every word that fell from Nikonus’ mouth. Were they okay? They had come in here to see Sven, I had seen them. Where are-
I spotted Kaeden in the corner of the room. Next to him, slumped against the wall, was Vichee. The dual colored Krakotl’s eyes were glazed over as they stared at nothing. I strode over quickly, my instincts wanting to comfort them. Kaeden was simply standing there, it was confusing that he didn’t seem to be comforting Vichee at all. As I got closer, their head tilted up to me, regarding me with an unfocused eye.
“He was right.” They said quietly. My implant almost didn’t pick it up over the sounds of the lobby. “Kaeden had asked me soon after our first meeting if Krakotl had once been meat eaters. Said it was the shape of our beaks. ‘More suited to capturing small wriggling prey than filtering algae’. He told me. I nearly flew away right then… If I had, I would have been alone with this news.”I listened, kneeling down to be closer to their level. “You’re not alone, your herd is here. Right Kaeden?”
He looked over at me and nodded. “Vichee was there with me when Earth was attacked. I’m here for them now. Kaabra and Venik are… together, elsewhere at the moment. But they will be here too.”
I flicked my ears in understanding. “Then I hope they may help in hugging Vichee until their tears are dry.” I turned an eye to Vichee. “Please, I just want you to know that you are still you. What your body does has no effect on your personhood.”
Vichee still sat, their mind still likely whirling with the new information. They lifted their differently colored wings. “I’m well aware. This lesson I already learned. But thank you, I understand what you mean.” Kaeden nodded slowly and Vichee returned to their thoughts.
“There’s going to be trouble soon, Tarlim,” Kaeden stated gravely. “News like this? Nothing good will come of it. I can already tell this won’t go over well. Keep your eyes open.”
As if in response to his words, the sound of clanking metal hits my ears. They shoot up, pivoting to locate its source. There, dashing towards the door, was the armored figure of Sven. I didn’t know him enough to know how this broadcast would affect him, but running was never the best sign. I flicked my ears goodbye to my friends and rose, following after the metal man. In my periphery, I saw the television screen had shifted to show Rolem moving onto the stage. I would have to miss whatever it was he had to say, so ducked through the doors and continued to follow the sound of metal.
As I exited, I saw that I wasn’t the only one to see Sven’s actions. Anso was bounding behind him, shouting something I couldn’t hear. Sven didn’t seem to either as he kept running, but his gait wasn’t one of fear. He looked purposeful, sprinting in a straight line. A line pointed right towards-
Towards the observing Exterminator Van.
The metal Venlil didn’t even hesitate at the presence of the fence. He leapt up in a display of strength and agility, vaulting over the barrier and continuing his beeline into the van. It was like phased through the doors with how fast he moved. There were sounds of commotion that followed his entry, and soon two Exterminators fell out of the van. One Venlil…and one Krakotl. I wonder how Kalek is taking things.
I, too, cleared the fence with only a high step and reached the van, peering in to see Sven at the controls. “Sven! What are you doing?” I asked, the Krakotl officer shivering on the ground in my periphery.
“They got my girl!” He huffed, “She’s a Gojid, they got her, I can’t let them do anything worse to her!” He tried to activate the vehicle to no avail, but his words brought up something that I hadn’t thought much over. I remember hearing about temporary emplacements that were being set up. Paly had texted me about exterminators bringing people there. Her too. And that would mean-
-THOOOOOOOMMMMM-
The wind hit me like a truck and rocked the van I was standing next to. Sven even stopped trying to fiddle with the controls to see what had just happened. In the distance, near the center of town, an enormous black cloud rose into the air, the vestiges of fire still burning in the suspended embers. I couldn’t look away from it as my mind raced with horrible possibilities as my mind tripped over itself trying to concoct a plan of action.
I wasn’t given long to think before the radio in the van crackled to life, startling both Sven and myself. “Attention all True Exterminators! The truth has come out about the taint in our midst! For too long we have lived with its danger in our presence! If any of you still hold the safety of The Herd in your hearts, come join us so we may burn ALL the predator taint from this District! Rendezvous at Vulen’s apartment complex, we shall start our cleansing there!”
The name of one of my landlords sparked familiarity in my mind. They had been working to build a series of new apartments to add to his old, and if I remembered, had agreed to house the Gojid refugees. The Gojid! Paly was housed with them!!
In an instant, I reached into the van and grabbed Sven by the arm. He tried to pull away, but my grip was too strong. “Sven! They’re gonna kill the Gojid! They’re gonna burn Paly!”
He finally managed to shake himself free as my paws became jittery from stress. “I gotta save my girlfriend! She’s in a facility! I gotta save her!”
“But they’re gonna burn people here!” I protested, “we have to do something! We need- We need People who can fight them! Kaeden! I need to get Kaeden! We can save them!”
I pulled myself away from the van and spotted Anso nearby. He must have had to go through the gate, but this was good timing. I pointed a claw at him. “Do Not Let Him drive off before I get back!”
I didn’t give him, nor the Exterminators who had recovered from their shock, time to ask questions. Paly was in danger, as were who knew how many others. I faintly heard my data pad chime from within my shoulder bag, the signal my heart was beating too fast, but I couldn’t deal with it right now. I could get the heart rate under control during the drive. Right now I needed Kaeden, he knew how to fight! How to save people when others were trying to kill them!
My paws guided me and I was back in the cafeteria before I knew it. Some of the crowd had dissipated, but Kaeden and Vichee were still in the same corner I had left them in, but with their Venlil friends now joined. Without leaving time for protest, I grabbed Kaeden’s arm and pulled him away. I heard Vichee squawk behind me, but I was in too much of a hurry. I can’t let her get hurt. I Won’t.
Kaeden started to slap my arm as I dragged the soldier across the lobby. “Tarlim! What the fuck are you doing?? What’s going on?”
“No time, they’re going to burn everyone,” I breathlessly said as I burst the facility doors open to get him to the van.
“What? Who?” Kaeden questioned, still resisting my pull. I could hear a tinge of worry in his voice, and I knew he would understand. Anso looked back from his position as he heard my approach, and upon seeing me dragging Kaeden along, he grew visibly concerned.
“On the radio, something about True Exterminators,” I attempted to explain to him as we neared the gate doors. This time, I simply spread them apart with my free paw, metal screeching against itself as the gate was forced open. “They’re going to burn every cured species they can find, and That Means Paly. I Won’t Let Them.”
Kaeden had stopped struggling as I explained the bare essentials to him, and once we approached the van, he finally had enough sense to ask the right questions. “So what exactly is the plan to stop them? We’re strong, sure, I could probably take most of them. But just two of us against a wall of those flamers?”
“Not two,” I corrected, letting go of his arm and throwing open the back doors of the van. Still seated in the drivers side was Sven, who looked back once he heard me permit entrance into the back. “We have him too.”
“Wh- the LARPer??” Kaeden asked incredulously. I wasn’t familiar with the term he used, but his tone told us all we needed to know. Sven’s eyes narrowed at the perceived insult, but Kaeden continued. “Do either of you have any formal military training?? Rushing down there is only going to get you both killed along with the others! For fucks sake, slow down! We need a plan!”
“T-There won’t be t-time f-for one,” a voice peeped in from behind us. We all turned to face the source, and we found it was the Venlil Exterminator. They recoiled under the sudden gaze of our entire party, but they managed to continue. “I-I recognized the v-voice. It w-was one of the n-new recruits. They m-might as well be Y-Yulpa. If you w-want to stop them, it’s now or n-never.”
We all stared at them for a moment in disbelief that they’d willingly hand over that information to us. They were Exterminators, weren’t they? They should be allied with the voice on the radio! Kaeden, after considering the information, gave voice to my confusion. “And why are you telling us this? You’re an exterminator, shouldn’t you be trying to help them?”
“M-My husband is the Krakotl that was in the van with me!” They yelled back, stamping their footpaw on the ground in agitation. “I-I don’t care what his ancestors did a t-thousand years ago, I will not stand for those zealots burning who knows how many people! We’re not all the same, h-human!”
I was taken aback by their words. I had given up hope that there were any redeemable souls amongst the ranks of those silver-suited brahkasses, but living proof of the contrary stood before us. Their breathing was only matched by mine as my pad continued to chime in my pack. Maybe there’s hope after all.
Kaeden started frantically looking all around, his focused gaze falling on the facility, the exterminator in front of us, and the rising smoke in the distance. After a moment's hesitation, he growled to himself and shook his head. “Fine! Fucking- if you want to prove you’re different, you and your partner stand guard at the gate! They’ll probably try to send a division here, so keep on guard! And for the love of God, go ask for help if that happens!”
My tail wagged behind me as I interpreted what that meant. “So you’ll help us, Kaeden?”
He paused for a second, an agonizing second as he fully took in the situation in his mind. But ultimately, he nodded. “Let’s go, we can figure things out along the way.”
Seizing the moment, Anso quickly jumped into the van and pushed Sven out of the driver's seat, much to their visible frustration. Kaeden quickly hopped into the passenger seat, leaving me with the problem of finding a space that would fit me. I stepped over to the back of the van and threw the doors open.
The flamers and their fuel tanks were useless to us, easy to toss all three sets out onto the ground behind me. I made sure that the flamers were disabled first, of course. Just had to snap the pilot lighters and slice a hose with my claw. Even if these two said they weren’t like these “True Exterminators” I didn’t trust them one bit. I crawled inside the cramped vehicle and wiggled myself to close the doors behind me.
As I got myself settled, I watched as the Venlil Exterminator started to inspect the destroyed remains of their weapons. I squinted a glare at them and positioned myself so they couldn’t enter with me. “You two aren’t coming,” I hissed. “You know why you’re not. Try anything with the humans, and they will stop you.”
I slammed the doors shut as their expressions fell, just in time for Anso to get the van into gear. I curled myself up against the wall of the van, watching out the back window as we sped down the road. We were on our way now. On our way to save Paly and all the people gathered because their ancestors ate meat. My heart hammered in my chest, but I would need to control it for what we were about to do. I needed to focus. I needed to breathe. I needed to be calm.
Focus. Breathe. Calm
Focus.
Breathe.
Calm…
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Memory Transcription Subject: Sol-Vah, Fleeing Predator. Date [Standardized Human Time] October 31st, 2136
My legs couldn’t carry me anymore. I had to keep going, but I didn’t have the strength. My pants became wheezes as my body struggled to keep up with the physical exertion of running almost halfway through town. I hadn’t even looked up before now, at least with eyes not blinded by tears. The pain of Mute’s rejection still stung in my soul, a pain so visceral it threatened to rip me apart worse than any Arxur. Protector, what did I do to deserve this? Is there even a Protector, or did the Federation just- just make that up?
I didn’t have time to think about that now, I needed to get to the office. From what little I caught of the broadcast, Nikonus had said they saved us before. I knew what it likely was, but…I was desperate. I just wanted to go back home and have him embrace me like he did before. The safety and love I had felt from him was still fresh in my mind, and if there was any chance I had to get it back?
I’ll happily take it.
As I approached the office, however, something seemed off. I could smell soot in the air, but not the kind of soot that came from our flamers. This was- was…dirtier smelling, as if the fuel had been impure. Upon looking up, however, I saw something that made my stomach drop. A huge plume of smoke, billowing up into the sky. It shadowed the sun itself with its immensity and hate. Did the Exterminators burn more drugs? Or…or…
I felt a renewed vigor as I started to run towards the plume, hoping against hope that I was wrong. As soon as I turned the corner, though, my worst fears were realized. Where the office once stood now sat a burning stack of glorified rubble, every single window in sight shattered and multiple holes in the outer walls. The building was split, it was as if a giant knife had come down and sloppily sliced off its front half to spill flaming debris everywhere.
I stood in front of the building I had once called my home, surrounded by screams and the awful sound of flames roaring. I knew now there was no hope of salvation, no way this could ever be undone. I would never be able to go back to the way things were, never feel the happiness I had for that brief time. I was doomed to this life, abandoned by my love, and forced to live as an abomination devoid of a home.
I suppose that’s all a predator like me deserves.
[First]- [Prev]- {Next Story!!}
You read it right: This is going to be the final chapter of "Of Giants and Journalists." With the conclusion of Sharnet and Vekna's adventure, we will now take the time to show how this announcement has affected our characters and the galaxy at large. We're excited to announce our new series, Nature of a Giant: Aftermath! This series will not be quite as in-depth temporally as Of Giants and Journalists was, mainly because not as much will be happening in as short of a time. Rest assured, though, there will still be plenty of action across the board! You just won't have to deal with over half the story only covering a week of time!
In that vein, we are also excited to announce we are working on another bonus series, one that was teased a long time ago, Venric Lawven: Legal Legend! It will be filling the gap for content while we work on the first few chapters of Aftermath to make sure the scenes are as quality as they deserve, but will have a reduced upload schedule to once a week to accommodate for writing two series at once. On behalf of both of myself and , we'd like to thank all of our readers for sticking with us on this journey. It's hard to believe this series has been going on for over a year in one form or another, but I wouldn't have it any other way! Thank you all again for your continued support, and we look forward to seeing you again with Legal Legends! And then...
The Aftermath!!

Tl;Dr:
My best friend got engaged to someone she knew in high school and hasn't talkd to in years who is long distance in just 5 months. I can't really tell her my honest opinions without it coming off as jealousy. How do I help her, or do I just let her do this?
The meaty version:
I met my best friend years ago. I used to do makeup effects for movies/TV, but when I started I took gigs for basic makeup for various things. She was a model, 19, just starting out. We got along way more than we should and hooked up after the shoot. We went out own ways and life took us in a weird loop back to each other, seven years later.
We met again at my new job. It was hard to stay in the business, so I had to make ends meet with Trader Joe's. That's where I saw her again, and we clicked like we did back then. It was just friends at first. We had both been out of bad relationships and I just wanted to better, so we hung out a lot as friends. After a year, she wanted more and I very hesitantly complied. She broke up with me about a year and a half later, and it broke my heart. I really tried to hate her and not talk to her, and it was easy because at that point she moved stores for other reasons, so I thought I'd never see her again. She understood, too, and left me alone, but checked in on me.
We somehow reconnected a couple months later. I don't even understand how, honestly. We just gravitate to each other. And we became close friends again, and have been for the last 5 or 6 years. She is my best friend, and I care about her a lot. We hang out all the time. If not physically, via text or mostly Discord. We do everything together when not at work.
It's been fine for years. I am demisexual, so dating is usually not a priority to me, but I have dated a bit. Usually friends, all know about my friendship with my Bestie, and nobody has really cared. She is bi and leans way more towards women, and it's pretty evident lol. She's told me I was the only guy she's dated as an adult and she's not usually interested in men. But I was struggling a while back with feeling those feelings for her and as I was going to come out to her, she told me she had been dating someone.
I know she had been to Florida a couple months back, and according to her and her timeline of events she met up with this guy she had a crush on in high school. They both liked each other back then, but both never acted on it and they lost contact. And apparently on this trip, they met and he just started his transition and they met up and things happened. She has gone to Florida twice, for only a week at a time, and around Balentines day he proposed. Five months later. She said she didn't tell me because she felt like she started to suspect I had feelings for her and she didn't want to hurt me, or lose me as a friend.
We were fine after. We had a big talk, I told her my feelings, and look. I get it. It's weird. But she's still my favorite person, so I was in. And being demi, you get feelings for friends and only friends, lol. Would I want more? Absolutely. Do I need it? Absolutely not. My love doesn't end at sexual interest or lack of. I did take some space, though, and we eventually got back into our usual groove.
The timing of everything is already weird, but then I could see little things. The guy got her a gift. I was there when she opened it, and she didnt like it. It was a shirt she'd never wear, and she complained about how he does that often. She complains about him a lot for different things. Usually I try to be devils advocate, I dont want to rag on the guy, but most of the time in my head I'm thinking he doesn't know her at all. How could they? They barely know each other. They've lived whole lives. Hell, he went from being a woman to a man and she didn't even know.
Meanwhile, we go out and I get her. I know her drink, I know her go to food order from any spot, we finish each other's sentences, our characters compliment the other. I'm not saying I want her. I'm just saying that her and this guy don't know what they're doing and they're moving way too fast. And I don't know how to tell her any of this. I'm not fighting for her, I'm just worried she's setting herself up for failure. What if she moves all the way over there?! Away from her family and friends and then this thing implodes. She's going to be alone and too proud to ask for help. Or, I could be wrong and they work.

Short backstory: We started dating about 9 months ago. He's stationed here through the army and wants to stay with me after he's done. Our relationship started really strong and intense. Hour long phone calls every day, seeing each other once or twice a week, we would regularly come up with cute date ideas, and he would seem really excited to come and see me. I know that this amount of effort wasn't sustainable, and we've since mellowed out, but in the past month or two I have often ended up feeling a little neglected.
Right now we usually see each other once every week or two because of work, even though we only live 20 minutes apart. We would often play video games online to make up for it. However, he has now started playing "our games" more with his friends at the army and I've become more of an afterthought. They hang out and go out to eat and play games every single day, sometimes during the weekends too. He'll usually text me once a day to check up on me and the conversation usually ends there. Sometimes he'll tell me that I can join their game "if I want", and sometimes I do. His friends are nice and I don't mind spending time with them, but I feel like I can never catch him without them. When I come over to his place, his friends will also always be in his room with us. Sometimes they'll just play video games without me because the "party is full". Playing games with his friends is also not a substitute for "relationship time" in my eyes.
Having him come over to my place is a challenge too. He's become increasingly apathetic about coming over and when he does, he sulks or is bored. In the past he would sometimes cancel last minute to hang out with his friends. All we do is watch youtube/netflix and sit in bed and cuddle. He says he's comfortable just relaxing with me, and while I feel the same, I'm also starting to miss how he used to to take me out and contribute ideas. "Do you want to do something fun next weekend? Wanna go eat? Wanna go on a walk?" All of my questions are met with "Up to you/Whatever you want to do". And when I come up with plans and we go out he's bored because "we just like different things". If I try to suggest something that he likes, he wants to do it with his friends. I cook meals for him when he comes over and try to make him relax after a long mission, but I'm starting to feel like our relationship is stagnant. For a while I thought he was just less interested in me. Sometimes he'll be sad and after attempting to get him to open up all day, he'll mention that he's homesick and doesn't know if he wants to stay here with me. He has intense ADHD and changes his mind often and it makes me anxious. I don't know how to help him or how to plan our future.
When I tried asking him if he's losing interest, he got mad at me and told me that he's just tired from work and wants to rest. I should stop overthinking and that I'm needy for demanding to "hang out all the time or do things every day". I don't know how to explain that it's not really about hanging out every day, or him wanting time with his friends. I just feel like we stopped bonding and making new experiences, like there's nothing that glues us together anymore except for comfort and the title of a relationship. "Quality time" now consists of staring at a screen and watching shows or videos for a day, and then he goes back to his friends. I have my own hobbies and usually hang out with my own friends, but every time I tell myself that I'll just lower my expactions and focus more on my own things, I feel like I'm mentally abandoning that relationship. At this point we each see and talk to our friends more than we see each other.
I've had pretty toxic relationships in the past and have developed a bit of relationship anxiety, so maybe I really am just overthinking everything. He told me that he's gonna try to do better and I haven't really brought it up since then, but I still can't help but doubt if it's really going to change. It also makes me wonder how life would be if we ever ended up living together.