Boyfriend studying abroad gifts | | the story of my most chaotic breakup

this happened to me a couple of years ago with my first partner.
I want to tell absolutely everything without having anything left inside because it is a story where I suffered a lot and in the end I was humiliated in a brutally absurd way.
we were at that point in the relationship where you feel that they don't love you anymore but they don't say anything about it and you are still there with the idea that everything is fine even though you know it's not.
but he was clearly distant with me emotionally and physically.
the day we were going to be 10 months old was also his sister's birthday.
she suffers from endometriosis and it turns out that she was going to have her period and he didn't want me to go to their house so as not to "bother" them.
I felt a little sad because I had a birthday two days later and I was going through a bad economic situation, plus my birthday was on Monday and everyone, including my boyfriend, was going to be working.
so I wanted to go to his house that day and spend it with him, but he told me that what I told them
due to an anxiety attack I self-harmed that day in the early morning, my ex knew about it.
later that day my boyfriend tells me that he is going to sing birthday with his sister but suddenly all his friends are in the house and they are having a celebration party.
I felt that he was purposely excluding me and being insensitive to me so I got upset and told him to go celebrate while he ignored me.
then he called me and broke up with me on the phone (he actually asked me for some time, saying that when I had a job or studies we could come back) and then he called my mom and sister to talk bad about me and how I made him tired and overwhelmed.
hat night I had to ask my neighbor with depression for a sleeping pill to get to sleep.
the next day I wrote him so we could talk and he told me to stop stalking him (which was weird considering it hadn't even been 15 hours since our breakup).
the truth I felt bad because while he was celebrating another party with his friends that day, I was at home with anxiety on the eve of my birthday, so I went to his house to try to talk to him but he and all his friends were upset so he blocked me from all his social networks without leaving any communication channel open between us.
one of his friends offered me a beat up
it was a very strange situation
I recently noticed that he unblocked me from his social networks and I wondered why so I looked at his profile and saw that he had a girlfriend, but he doesn't upload anything often so I checked his girlfriend's profile and she noticed, and blocked me.

Hi guys. I (f25) have a friend (m22). We’ve been friends for 1,5 years, supported each other during hard times and had a petty good relationship. He’s a very nice and kind person and never did anything to hurt me. Let’s call him Chris.
One day we went to my place to hangout. It got colder in the evening when he left so he borrowed my hoodie. This hoodie was gifted to me by my other friend and traveled with me across many countries. It was a very nice and big hoodie and I really liked it, especially because it reminded me of my other friend. Also it was a limited edition hoodie and there’s maybe 50 of them in the world because it was my friend’s company merch. I gave this hoodie to Chris because it was the only one that would fit him.
During summer I didn’t really need this hoodie, so it’s been couple months since I gave this hoodie to Chris. I didn’t ask it back because we were busy and haven’t seen each other for a while and also I thought it’s safe at his place. When it got colder and I asked Chris about the hoodie, he said that he donated it because he thought it’s his brother’s hoodie. He didn’t ask his brother whether it was his hoodie or not, just found it in a pile of clothes when he decluttered his room and donated it.
I was very angry because I really liked this hoodie and also because Chris didn’t ask for my permission before donating it. And if I didn’t ask about this hoodie I wouldn’t even know what happened to it because he didn’t bring it up. My boyfriend said that it was disrespectful towards me, but I disagreed at first. I thought, Chris is not a bad person and maybe he really forgot that it’s my hoodie. But the more I think about it, the more I agree that it was indeed disrespectful. If he was my friend for 10 years, I think I would’ve forgiven him but since it’s a pretty new friendship, I think it’s a deal breaker because it shows how he treats me as a person. What do you guys think?

I feel like a terrible person and guilty for developing feelings for someone else while in a relationship. But at the same time I feel like I did the correct thing for ending things with him before starting something new instead of cheating. I feel like now he wants to show me how much he actually loves me but while were in a relationship he didn't meet my emotional standards so I began to search for them in another person.
From the beginning he never told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend, I asked him if we were dating and after this he decided to ask me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. He would get me gifts and things but I didn't feel loved for multiple reasons. Sometimes he wouldn't reply to my messages and tell me it was because he wasn't in the mood to be stuck on his phone yet he would be posting on his Instagram and sending me memes. He would always be late to our dates. Sometimes he wouldn't even communicate why he didn't reply to my messages and not reply for hours and on three ocassions a whole day. Sometimes he would insinuate I'm an attention seeker for venting about my depression on Instagram, despite it being on my private account where I only have my personal friends and not strangers and said that instead of venting I needed to pray to God. Sometimes he would call me sensitive for crying. Barely any goodmorning texts or goodnight texts.
He would encourage me to stop taking my psychiatric medication because he would demonize it and when I told him I was having suicidal thoughts again he would tell me to push through that they were just withdrawls and that I needed to learn how to deal with them naturally. I had a mental crisis when I stopped taking the medications and ended up self harming. I couldn't take it anymore after a month so I scheduled an appointment with my psychiatrist and started taking my meds again which made me feel better. During that time he said he had felt tired and exhausted dealing with my mental health issues because I would vent to him not realizing it was due to the fact that I had stopped taking my medication because of him.
He refused to believe it was genetic despite my entire family having a history of mental illness. He thought people who suffered from depression including myself were just weak minded and it was all in my head. There was a day where he said he thought my body was underdeveloped exercise wise and I felt so ugly despite him saying that I looked good all the time but that one comment made me feel terrible. He defend my family when they would body shame me and say it was just tough love because I needed to lose weight. He never offered to take me to appointments or to work despite him having days off and me not having a car and having to pay for Ubers.
I started to develop a friendship with a coworker which escalated into me developing feelings for him yet I controlled myself and tried to repress it and told myself it was a stupid crush. But one day my ex spent two days without replying back to my messages yet he would still post on his social media. I got upset and was bored, I never drink at home I always drink socially but this time I felt hurt so I decided make an exception and get drunk. Long story short I confessed to my coworker I had a crush on him through text. Once I sobered up I decided to break up with my boyfriend.
My coworker also said he liked me back and now we've been talking for three days but I feel extremely guilty every time I do and feel like I betrayed my ex. However I can feel the difference already, whenever this new guy is busy he communicates that he won't be able to text me for a while and I understand, that's literally all that I wanted, at least an explanation and not just silence leaving me to overthink. However I'm not going to immediately jump into a relationship with him because I know that I still haven't let myself heal from my previous relationship and I still have feelings for my ex boyfriend. But now my ex boyfriend is telling to rethink things and that he did truly love me and that he just had a hard time being emotionally vulnerable with me.
Am I wrong for what I did?

My boyfriends birthday is Saturday and I haven't gotten or made him a gift yet because I've been so busy with homework and projects(we're both college students). He doesn't really like celebrating his birthday but I'd like to get him something special. I was thinking about making a scrapbook with the pictures we've taken together. I was also thinking about buying him a necklace with my name on it(I don't really have the money for this but he's getting me one and I'd like to get him one as well). Any ideas?

Hi Reddit! I’ve never done this before, so please excuse any errors I may make! I’ll start off with giving some context. My family have immigrated from South India to the UK, when I was a baby, and have since birth been immersed in the British culture (I’ll not say where in the UK because privacy lol). My patents have quite a few siblings, but I only have two cousins 21M and 27M here with me. So in short, my patents are your classic Asian patents. Extremely strict “studies first then everything else”. Everything else implying drinking, dating, and even close friendships. As a child I was never really allowed to have friends: was only allowed to spend time with them after school once a month, and since I only got a phone at 13, was pretty left out in terms of group chats. I wasn’t really allowed to FaceTime friends either. In short, my patents never believed any of my friends were a good influence just because none of them were exactly the most academic. I on the other hand, was pretty much forced from a child to be academically smart. Wasn’t allowed to play much as a child, all I did was read and study (I know, pretty sad childhood). My parents also somehow manipulated me into doing medicine, and here I am now, a medical student. Similar to this, my parents manipulated me in quite a few ways. It’s hard to explain, but I find it really hard to do things without their approval, as they raised me to always seek their approval for every action: clothes, text messages, and life choices. In addition, I had a pretty toxic childhood, as I was raised in an environment where my parents would always argue, and divorce was always a possibility. Oh, and let me add they are not on with me having male friends. Ok so with that very basic context, I’ll get onto my dilemma. When I was 14, I met my boyfriend Cameron (name changed) at high school. We both were, and still exactly on the same page in terms of life: career and life goals, humour, and overall just get each other. There’s nobody that’s ever understood me more than Cameron, and quite frankly he is the light of my life. I don’t know what I would do without him, and I think he feels the same way. We had an instant connection, which is where my problems first begun. You may have already guessed, but my very south Asian parents are HIGHLY against dating, especially without having a degree. Since I was a kid, I always just agreed with my parents whenever they’d tell me to not date, as I didn’t really understand that they were being serious. Some part of me wanted to believe they just told me against dating since they didn’t want me to get hurt, and I believed they would be more open to it as I got older. But when meeting Cameron, I knew that I loved him, and wanted to experience dating. I thought this was just a small step, however as time got on with dating Cameron, not only did my love for him grew, but I started to realise how toxic, and manipulative my parents were. I started to realise how much wrong was in the way I was raised and started to live life how I wanted to: without my parents knowing , and yes, while living under their roof. I dated Cameron in secret: turned off life 360 to go on dates with him, sneaky phone calls late at night, and spent every miniute at school together as it was at this point the only time we could be together freely. Unfortunately, I couldn’t really explain to my friends why I did spend all my time with Cameron, and they stopped being friends with me for this. However, recently me and my high school friends made up so all good lol. Cameron gave me the courage to move out for university, something I would never have dreamed off out of fear of my parents. Currently, I’m livng in student halls, and studying medicine in the same course and Uni as Cameron. Life couldn’t be any better. All of a sudden, I feel free. I can do what I want, be friends with who I want, and most importantly am free to be with the one I love most. All without judgement and fear from my parents. However, we’re now coming to the end of first year, which means I’m going to have to move back home for the summer. While it’s only for three months, I honestly can’t go back to the way it was before, and am really scared to have to hide my relationship again. I won’t be able to see him, or speak to him on the phone nearly as often as I do now, and it really pains my heart to think of having to go through the torture I went through while living at home again. In addition, me and Cameron are serious, and are thinking of engagement soon. Both of these factors make me want to tell my parents: as much as they are EXTREMLY toxic, I hate hiding such a big part of my life from them (probably a consequence of them requiring their approval for my every action as a kid). Here’s where the real issue is. I have no idea how to tell them, and whether the, in them is a good idea. This is because they have extremely strong opinions against me dating ( combination of culture, religion, and sexism). I fear that if I tell them, they will completely disown me, which I really don’t want as I’m not mentally stable enough to deal with that big a change. I also fear they would try make me and Cameron break up, or be physically and or verbally abusive. I honestly see no possibility in which there is a good outcome from telling my parents about me and Cameron. I don’t really have any family that i can ask for advice, as I’m not really close to anyone. None of my cousins have ever been though a similar situation, because they’re male (the sexism is real) and haven’t dated (at least not seriously). I’m also scared to tell my parents in cause they have a heart attack or something, as they are both relatively elderly. So here’s where my question is: how do I tell my parents about Cameron, causing the least amount of drama??? It’s really really affecting my mental health recently. Any help is appreciated. if you need me to expand on anything because I feel that I’ve skimmed over a lot of details to keep it short, please please just ask!
Thanks <3
TL;DR; how do I tell my brown parents that I have a three year serious relationship? my parents are very strict, and there is a massive risk they disown me or react extremely adversely if I tell them.

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So basically my sibling has not been in contact with my parent for over three whole years.
However, the were recently given a short time frame to being kicked out by their partner (now allegedly their ex partner). For the past two weeks, I was asked by both my sibling and their partner (at the time, alledgedly) if they could move in to my flat. However, my place has a legal dwelling of two and I have moved on to better things in life and I legally have my partner living with me. I had to turn them down but I feel like my sinking slapped it back in my face due to circumstances that I will explain later.
Now, my sibling is possibly living in an emergency hostel. I say possibly, simply because they gave me one worded answers when I tried to touch base with them to make sure they were okay and safe. Bare in mind, they are my older sibling. However, I have been made homeless back in 2019 and I only want my older sibling to make that they are in a safer environment than what I went through.
The reason for why I got my parent involved was because my sibling announced to me that they were being kicked out in a span of two weeks. That was the first time they asked if they could live with me and I said I legally cannot. I ran through the legal protocols but also the system that could help them but would excuse saying that they "got too tired" and "needed to eat" due to their emotional wellbeing. But it was all being way too last minute. Every time that I would ask, "hey, is your partner and their family (whom they were living with) helping you out" they said themselves that "no. I'm being left in the dark.".
No matter how much I tried through my experience, I felt like my sibling wasn't understanding. So I got my parent involved. The only one who raised me and my siblings who knew how to speak to us properly and can navigate the system more efficiently.
They spoke but kept things as strictly professional due to the fact that they were both still pretty irate with their emotional beings towards each other. But my parents was giving her details and info about systems that can help her be on her own independently.
A few days after that, I get a phone call asking to live with me (for the third time). Once I started to refuse, the ex boyfriend took over the phone and told me that my siblings stuff would be dropped off at mine regardless. Luckily that never happened and thankfully my sibling got put in a hostel. But they aren't speaking to any more and the last thing that they said was that it was due to the fact that I got my parent involved...
And I feel so much anger at the moment because it is not fair to constantly keep blaming the people that help. To laugh at the face of someone who is giving you a gift and then months later say that they are the worst person ever etc. That is what my sibling is like and I feel like I cannot win. But I feel like IATH most of the time because I feel like they should take accountability. But on the other hand, being told that my sibling is also a victim... idk

I (21F) have been with my boyfriend (22M) for almost 7 months now. I have recently received the opportunity to travel abroad on a cruise ship for a year for my job. So starting in January, we have entered a long distance relationship.
Starting this job abroad, I knew no one so naturally I went about making friends with my colleagues. I now have a great group of friends around me, and am closest with one in particular. Let’s call him Tony (26M). Tony and I have a lot of common interests, opinions, and honestly just clicked and now we spend pretty much every day together (we are confined to a small area of the ship so even if we didn’t make plans we’d bump into each other very often anyway). Tony is also in a relationship currently.
My boyfriend has always been a bit sceptical of the guys I work with. In my profession, a lot of the guys are gay. In my specific ship within the group I work with, there are no straight guys. Naturally if we are all hanging out, we will mingle with each other, have some chats here and there. When my boyfriend and I call (which is probably every 3rd day or so as my time and internet is very limited here, plus our time zones are almost opposite to each other) and I tell him about my day - mentioning the names of people I spent time with that day, etc. he will make jokes about the guys like “i hope they aren’t making any moves on you” and “they better not be flirting with you” etc. My answer every time is “they’re GAY”. These friends are also doing nothing but being friendly so I have nothing to defend anyway.
The other day, my friends and I (4 girls and Tony) were exploring a town at one of the ports and saw some amazing views from the top of a mountain hike. Obviously we stopped and took some photos of the views, photos of us with the views, you get the gist. I posted lots of these photos to my Instagram, one being a photo of Tony and I sitting on the edge of a fence in front of an amazing view of the town. We were sitting next to each other with our arm around each others backs. I didn’t think anything of it as if I was taking a photo sitting with one of my female friends I would pose the exact same way. Tony also wasn’t the only person I posted a picture of that day either.
Today my boyfriend and I were calling, and he was telling me about something his friend told him (his friend is a gay woman). I made a joke - and by the tone of my voice it was obvious I was joking and not taking it serious at all - saying something along the lines of “talking to another girl huh?”. His response to that was “says you, with Tony’s hands all over you”. He says he meant it as a joke too but the way he said it just sounded very annoyed and snarky.
The thing that annoys me most is that I’m being accused of something that isn’t happening. Tony and I aren’t touchy feely, the closest we’ve been to him “having his hands all over me” was that one photo of his arm around my back.
We got into an argument and for the rest of the day he was very blunt in all his messages to me. We are going to call and talk about it soon but I don’t know how to get it through to him that I’m not doing anything I wouldn’t with my other female friends, I just happen to have gotten closer to Tony and have a solid friendship that I don’t want to give up.
It’s so hard because my boyfriend hasn’t met any of my friends other than a quick hello over facetime a couple of times, so all he’s seeing in his mind is his girlfriend spending a lot of time with a man that isn’t him.
Any advice is appreciated!!
TLDR; long distance boyfriend is jealous of my friendship with my gay male friend, and I don’t know how to make him feel more comfortable without ending my friendship.

Hi Reddit! I’ve never done this before, so please excuse any errors I may make! I’ll start off with giving some context. My family have immigrated from South India to the UK, when I was a baby, and have since birth been immersed in the British culture (I’ll not say where in the UK because privacy lol). My patents have quite a few siblings, but I only have two cousins 21M and 27M here with me. So in short, my patents are your classic Asian patents. Extremely strict “studies first then everything else”. Everything else implying drinking, dating, and even close friendships. As a child I was never really allowed to have friends: was only allowed to spend time with them after school once a month, and since I only got a phone at 13, was pretty left out in terms of group chats. I wasn’t really allowed to FaceTime friends either. In short, my patents never believed any of my friends were a good influence just because none of them were exactly the most academic. I on the other hand, was pretty much forced from a child to be academically smart. Wasn’t allowed to play much as a child, all I did was read and study (I know, pretty sad childhood). My parents also somehow manipulated me into doing medicine, and here I am now, a medical student. Similar to this, my parents manipulated me in quite a few ways. It’s hard to explain, but I find it really hard to do things without their approval, as they raised me to always seek their approval for every action: clothes, text messages, and life choices. In addition, I had a pretty toxic childhood, as I was raised in an environment where my parents would always argue, and divorce was always a possibility. Oh, and let me add they are not on with me having male friends. Ok so with that very basic context, I’ll get onto my dilemma. When I was 14, I met my boyfriend Cameron (name changed) at high school. We both were, and still exactly on the same page in terms of life: career and life goals, humour, and overall just get each other. There’s nobody that’s ever understood me more than Cameron, and quite frankly he is the light of my life. I don’t know what I would do without him, and I think he feels the same way. We had an instant connection, which is where my problems first begun. You may have already guessed, but my very south Asian parents are HIGHLY against dating, especially without having a degree. Since I was a kid, I always just agreed with my parents whenever they’d tell me to not date, as I didn’t really understand that they were being serious. Some part of me wanted to believe they just told me against dating since they didn’t want me to get hurt, and I believed they would be more open to it as I got older. But when meeting Cameron, I knew that I loved him, and wanted to experience dating. I thought this was just a small step, however as time got on with dating Cameron, not only did my love for him grew, but I started to realise how toxic, and manipulative my parents were. I started to realise how much wrong was in the way I was raised and started to live life how I wanted to: without my parents knowing , and yes, while living under their roof. I dated Cameron in secret: turned off life 360 to go on dates with him, sneaky phone calls late at night, and spent every miniute at school together as it was at this point the only time we could be together freely. Unfortunately, I couldn’t really explain to my friends why I did spend all my time with Cameron, and they stopped being friends with me for this. However, recently me and my high school friends made up so all good lol. Cameron gave me the courage to move out for university, something I would never have dreamed off out of fear of my parents. Currently, I’m livng in student halls, and studying medicine in the same course and Uni as Cameron. Life couldn’t be any better. All of a sudden, I feel free. I can do what I want, be friends with who I want, and most importantly am free to be with the one I love most. All without judgement and fear from my parents. However, we’re now coming to the end of first year, which means I’m going to have to move back home for the summer. While it’s only for three months, I honestly can’t go back to the way it was before, and am really scared to have to hide my relationship again. I won’t be able to see him, or speak to him on the phone nearly as often as I do now, and it really pains my heart to think of having to go through the torture I went through while living at home again. In addition, me and Cameron are serious, and are thinking of engagement soon. Both of these factors make me want to tell my parents: as much as they are EXTREMLY toxic, I hate hiding such a big part of my life from them (probably a consequence of them requiring their approval for my every action as a kid). Here’s where the real issue is. I have no idea how to tell them, and whether the, in them is a good idea. This is because they have extremely strong opinions against me dating ( combination of culture, religion, and sexism). I fear that if I tell them, they will completely disown me, which I really don’t want as I’m not mentally stable enough to deal with that big a change. I also fear they would try make me and Cameron break up, or be physically and or verbally abusive. I honestly see no possibility in which there is a good outcome from telling my parents about me and Cameron. I don’t really have any family that i can ask for advice, as I’m not really close to anyone. None of my cousins have ever been though a similar situation, because they’re male (the sexism is real) and haven’t dated (at least not seriously). I’m also scared to tell my parents in cause they have a heart attack or something, as they are both relatively elderly. So here’s where my question is: how do I tell my parents about Cameron, causing the least amount of drama??? It’s really really affecting my mental health recently. Any help is appreciated. if you need me to expand on anything because I feel that I’ve skimmed over a lot of details to keep it short, please please just ask!
Thanks <3

I hate that I do, tho I do believe I dont actually want to. See we had a roughhh patch between late november-january, where during that time there were three instances of him suddenly saying he wants a break, not a breakup, but a break. But three times man, and each time it happened he panicked and took it back essentially the next day or the day of.
Like the first time was after a week or so of his mood seeming low (I believe this is around the time he started to become depressed from school/social/personal problems he was having) and just randomly said he wanted a break and was very cold. Keep in mind, we never actually argued about anything to do with our relationship, its all his personal shit, but during the action he doesnt clarify exactly why he is leaving me which made me panic and wonder what I did wrong while he refused to explain. However, he took it all back within like 2 days, and we got back together. Trust me I was hesitant at first, but he absolutely exploded my phone with messages of regret and apologies and he was panicking and saying how much he loved me, and got me gifts. I seriously love him and have for two years so, I took him back and things were good and he opened up to me about his decline in mental health and I am still so proud of him for that.
But then it happened again. A few weeks later, he seemed to have another bad time and almost impulsively wanted a break or something. It was the day of my 18th birthday party (not the date of my actual 18th birthday but still) and sometimes i think about that day and my heart hurts, however again he took it back almost immediately though I was so sad he even thought of doing that again (he promised he wouldnt and that he wanted to be with me) and took longer before having a talk with him. He got gifts again and was extremely apologetic and honestly I just felt awful because I hated how he was suddenly treating me but when he opened up more he explained he doesnt understand it much himself aside from that he was getting really intense emotions and stress and unfairly was directing it at me, and also self-sabotaging. He has adhd and is un-medicated, so again I take those in as factors too. It was a short slip up this time, and we mended it quickly. And idk I just love him and I always promised to stay through the hard times, and I am a woman of my word. Things improved for a while and our relationship was actually thriving, went on a trip, spent christmas together, and seriously improved our communication. I was so happy.
But god the third time, in january. I dont think I quite recovered. I think it set our progress back so much. One day he was seemingly extremely in love with me and very passionate about our relationship, and then the next day boom, hes gone and its awful. We never experienced issues like this before november and Ive been with him since spring 2022. I seriously considered breaking up with him in january, but I was going through some already extreme personal issues and I told him when he was apologising that I def want a short break but not a breakup because i honestly couldnt have coped with losing my best friend at that time. I know he sounds shitty because im describing our worst times, but this is odd behaviour for him and overall I just worry for him.
Now its May, and he hasnt left me again since january. However, anytime he is seeming a bit off with me, not responding to texts/responding very dryly, not making plans or effort I just get into a sort of fight or flight mode and assume this is it, that he wants to leave me again and this time I cannot let him back in. But, he doesnt leave me.
He has been struggling a lot mentally as he has massive exams to study for and is geniunely preoccupied from this, but for me I think it triggers like abandonment issues? That he gave me? Lol its so sad its comical. I have straight up asked him if he wants a break and that I can understand if a relationship is too much on top of the exams but he always says no and that he loves me.
But the scary anxious feeling I get sometimes when he barely reads my messages or tries to make plans or just ask me how my day was makes me feel like I need to leave before he leaves me. I think its also because back during the weird breaks in winter, when he was opening up he said sometimes he would be cold and push me away on purpose the days before he would suddenly want a break, because he wanted me to break up with him first?? And that was in winter but I still think about it, however his recent behaviour seems to be geniune stress from exams especially since I have aksed him about going on a break and he declined loads. But part of me is scared that deep down he does want me to leave?
This shits so confusing because I just want to love him man, and be loved back equally. He’s always told me Ive never done anything wrong, but my self esteem has been so low since january. I feel hard to love consistently. So, the idea of leaving him comes to my mind a lot, like to prevent any more pain he may cause my heart. And though he has stayed with me since the january thing, our progress from before has still not been fully replenished. I get anxious so much that he will leave me and I dont fully trust him, but we also dont have time to work on it. School for him rn is top of the list, and he’s also been having family troubles. I dont really know what to do, because I dont think I can tell him that I think about breaking up with him, especially when I dont think I for sure want that. I just miss before all this. Like sometimes when we are having fun I’ll just look at him and remember january and feel empty. I just would never leave him like that, ever. If he does abandon me again, I’ll have to breakup with him, but I’d do it in the most respectful way I can. However, it seems he is staying, and I am going to need to do some work on myself and stop thinking I need to leave before I am left. But to have a backbone too.
I love him and I just hope things go back to normal after his exams.
If you read all of this, thank u :) just need this out of my head.

I admit that I can be pretty judgmental towards the new age community because of some of its legitimate concerns.
However, I think this could possibly be the closest I would ever get to having a shamanic healer as an instructor for myself.
I don't really consider myself a shaman. I don't believe I can be one as a Westerner. I am just fucked because of the spiritual poverty in my society. Maybe I even believe it's deserved. I still am unpacking my Christian trauma around shame and judgment.
I am concerned about the fact that I believe that I am communicating with the spiritual world in a way that makes me feel crazy. I think I am crazy but I know hat I am also receiving gifts but with a lot of cognitive dissonance between my rational brain and my spiritual perspectives.
That is why I am essentially posting here about some pretty heavy questions that I feel are not being answered when I ant them to.

How come spirits enjoy exchanging energy with people? Why do they do this when they know it can cause us intense pleasure? Why is so much of the spiritual new-age/mediumship community so against the belief or acceptance of Astra sex with entities when it has been recorded yo have occurred since antiquity?

Sometimes, the acts feel more like physical intimacy with a physical person. I have even had encounters where they had implanted an idea or feeling in my head that caused intense psychological arousal. They even seem to know what I'm into long before I do. It's possible that they even have somewhat of an ability to alter my preferences. I have been given visions in my head of the spirit entity as a nude person. I have had sex with at least two in my dreams. One of the most vivid experiences that happened to me when I was forcefully pulled out of my body and the entity penetrated me analy. Ever since then, he would make my body tingle in that area in order to announce his presence. (It can be really embarrassing to talk about). This spirit once appeared in my dream and told me that he was my "spirit boyfriend" and thst the other male spirit was "his husband" and told me that he was " my husband too".
I know that the first one got pretty long. This isn't the only thing I wanted to ask about.

Why do they keep sending my images and visions about that land? I keep getting dire warnings about the land. I see visions and images in my dreams about the land dying or about how it used to look a long time ago. I even are shown or given the impressions or awareness about the interconnectedness of nature and human life's place as part of it. I have had dreams where I heard mountains chanting and meet other kinds of non-human people like shapeshifters and being from nature. Some even resemble mythology. I wonder why this keeps happening to me. What is going on, and why are they choosing me to interact with?

I hope his wasn't too long of a post. I want to make a third question, but I don't know what that would be other than the fact that I like 3s.

Hi! I got a 163 on april, which was one point higher than my highest PT (yay!). I can't take june bc ill be in a study abroad program, and my best section is logic games. my gpa is a 3.86 and I'm not looking to go to any t15s or anything. Should I call it a one and done?? I work two jobs and am in undergrad so studying the past four months burnt me out to a CRISP.

Context: gf f(25) me m(29) are currently in a long distance relationship rn (dated a year in person while i was studying in Korea, now weve been almost a year long distance). While in person, I bought just about anything and everything for her. Food, clothes, presents, you name it. She's is studying her masters degree while I'm getting my Masters Degree in the states (part time job at the uni, so not much income). Despite being long distance, I occasionally order her flowers whether it was for valentines day, or for no reason.
Well my girl grew an addiction for Stanley Cups. She's got a white one and said she wants another, but they're expensive where she's at I guess? Anyway she asked me to buy her a Stanley under the premise she'd pay me back. I order her a Stanley, $45, and let her know how much it is. We'll a month goes by and she keeps asking for more Stanley's and eventually asked me when I was going to send her the one I bought already. I laughed and said whenever you pay me back. This caused her to get extremely upset, saying I don't spend money on her anymore, nor send her presents. that i should just pay for the stanley i bought, and not ask her for the money. She's also holding the fact she got my mom a couple presents from her travels in Europe, which I offered to pay, but she declined saying they were a gift. Now she's crying over the phone asking why is $45 such a big deal? In reality, it's not. I just want her to keep her word. The gesture behind her keeping her promise weighs more than any dollar amount to me.... (and I told her this too) my gut and logical side say I'm not wrong, but my emotions for her make me second guess myself.
Summary: AITAH for asking her to keep her promise to pay me back the $45 after she said she would?

And I am genuinely happy.
The person I consider my soulmate, my anchor when I'm in a deep dark cold place, my best friend, THE ONLY PERSON WHO UNDERSTAND ME THE MOST. I met her during college days. I was the silent newly out boy in pre-medical school and she was the morena, pretty, and smart girl. Since it was college, we were seated alphabetically and she was near my seat. We became fast friends after that. From other people's point of view, you wouldn't think that we could become friends, let alone be best friends because of our opposite personalities. She was the loud and extroverted girl that time while I was the shy introverted and somehow mysterious boy.
As our friendship grew, other people knew about our friendship. Some of her friends from other department warned her not to befriend me because they didn't know me lagi ako nawawala. But she was not the type of person to be told what to do and despite that she still continued her friendship with me. Then there was me, unknowingly, already falling for her.
I hid it. I pushed down those feelings because I didn't want things to be weird. Until one day, one of our common friends teasing her that I liked her and bagay daw kami. She confronted me. It wasn't a big deal to her since then we kept it as joke pa since it was just a tease na bagay kami. we accepted it and moved on.
One time that we met up it was semester break she was already shift course sa dating niyang course which pharma, she gave me a gift a book which i need to my related course that reminded her of us. we even made a picture drawing a person wherever we go and saying "wish you were here". It was really sweet. But I didn't put any special meaning on it. I just thought that it was just a thing she does for her friends. Little did I know, this gesture actually had a special meaning for her.
Since we met up often, I got to know her friend group. I found a way to contact her we communicate time to time we check din if okay kami sa isa't isa. And then after a while, she had a boyfriend of her own. that's the story we had lost communication for the sake sa partner niya.
Fast forward a year after, i got a girlfriend but we broke up. And then a year of being single later. She was still with her boyfriend that time. but months later she was cheated by her boyfriend. she was single that time i knew i had to do something but i have no idea where to start. i was hesitant because of my dumb sh*t overthinking. in the end never had a chance to make a way to her. and she got a new boyfriend after months of her being single. I've tried to move forward again it's like we are not destined to be together.
Fast forward to a year later, i had a girl that i like but ghosted me. It was devastating, and the first to know was her. We met up and caught up with each other because during those past years we had no communication because we live different life na she got a boyfriend & a stable job we weren't able to meet that time. So i visited her at her home town with the help of my family we traveled long distance just to met her give her flower just to catching up together. At this time, my bestfriend was already engaged with a new guy. I was really happy for her when she was talking about her fiance and how safe she felt with him and how happy she makes him.
At the time, it was kind of bittersweet for me, because she also brought up during our talk that she actually had developed feelings for me back in college. I was just so dumb not to notice it. But looking at the silver lining, if we had gotten together, there's a chance that we might not have lasted, but now that we remain best friends, I get to keep her in my life forever. And that makes me so happy because at least one person I love, my soulmate, my best friend will always be there for me.
I will try to be happy for you J. I will always be here for you. You are more just a person for me. You made me the happiest. thank you. and have a happy unforgettable wedding

I have a former student and research assistant who is now a senior about to graduate, and I am writing them a letter of recommendation. The student happens to be from China, which I mention in case cultural norms or the tight control of the Chinese government on students studying abroad could be at play.
The student seems grateful for my help and supervision, and has offered generous gifts in the past, which I have accepted out of fear of offending. They have also asked to take pictures together on multiple occasions. Now, with graduation approaching, the student is inviting me at their apartment some evening tea (same gender and both heterosexual, so clearly there is no confusion of romantic aspect here). Apparently the student has had invited other professors over as well, so I am not alone.
I am uncertain how to handle this. I am not uncomfortable for my personal safety, but I am wary about some unknown ulterior motive. It has been well documented that the Chinese government using spies at universities and companies. For example, could the gifts, pictures, and invitation be an attempt at creating material for future blackmail? Or is it more benign, like they are genuinely expressing gratitude, or they want to preserve a professional connection for future networking reasons?
Professors of reddit, have you been in similar situations? Am I being paranoid, or have I been naive?

My code is 642956709896 and my boyfriends is 225441564996 and if you want to you can add our friends as well his is 327024543577

First, some background. I studied abroad in England in Spring 2022 and I fell in love with hiking/walking in the country. I even wrote my own self-published travel book about it, which detailed like 20 walks and day hikes that were easily accessible for students with no car. Many of them included sections of the “South West Coast Path”, a 630 total mile trail that runs along the coast of the Southwest peninsula of England. Ever since this experience and after reading Raynor Winn's book "The Salt Path," I can't get the idea of hiking the entire trail or at least a large segment of it out of my head.
Some more background about me is that I'm 22, freshly out of undergrad, and starting law school this August, so I'm trying to plan a super cool graduation trip as a last hurrah before I spend the next 3 years studying my ass off, lol. I love walking/hiking and I'd consider myself pretty physically fit but I'm not super experienced or anything and I've never been backpacking. Anyway considering how tied up I'll be with school and then internships/employment in the near future I CANNOT stop fantasizing about skipping town for like a month or so and hiking this trail. But I need to figure out if this is actually something I could do, or just another crazy idea.
Here's why I like the South West Coast Path idea so much even though it's a lot further than me than other trails like the AT. For one, it's perfect for a beginner: you're never more than like a couple hours walk away from the next town/civilization, the terrain is relatively easy, it's a beautiful trail with neverending vistas since it hugs the coast the whole time, and the climate in England is relatively mild. Like I mentioned I already have experience living in the country and hiking the trail on day trips. To me this seems like a much better and safer experience for a beginner who's never done true backcountry stuff in case something went wrong or I just hated it I could up and leave the trail in a day. Also wouldn't have to worry about packing in a bunch of food or supplies, or keeping them away from bears or other hostile wildlife.
The things that are giving me hesitations though:
Being a young, solo female hiker: Okay this is possibly remediated if I can get my boyfriend (also an avid hiker who's never backpacked, with similar skill level to me) to join. The only issue is I doubt he'd be able to take more than a week or two off work, and in my mind I'm fantasizing about going over there for like 3 weeks to make it worth it and since who knows when I'll have the time for something like this again (re: law school), and I might want to do more of the trip by myself. But then again.... maybe that's a long time for a first backpacking trip? Idk I'm curious on y'all's thoughts on this, being near civilization is a blessing and a curse because there could be more unsavory people you run into and less overnight hikers (the trail is mostly day hikers unlike the AT where there's also a steady stream of long haul/thru hikers). Also I feel like I'd get lonely af without a partner especially at nights.
Cost of the flight: Estimating it would be around $800 round trip if I book now.
Cost of the gear: I'd need to buy a backpacking bag, lightweight sleeping bag and pad, tent for 1-2 people (re: boyfriend), probably new clothes and possibly new boots, and all sorts of accessories I can't even begin to think of. My boyfriend already owns a backpacking stove if that's any help. If anyone could give me an estimate for how much the gear would run (tent/backpack/sleeping bag are the main ones) that would be great. I don't think it would need to be super top of the line since I'm not going to Alaska or somewhere crazy.
Please let me know what your thoughts are! I love this path and it's so close to my heart, Devon and Cornwall are beautiful. I need all the advice though :)

Hi!
First of all, apologies if this isn't the right place for this, as I'm not necessarily planning to do all 630 miles of the trail at once, but I figured this community could help me in the beginning stages of trying to plan a trip this summer.
First, some background. I studied abroad in England in Spring 2022 and I fell in love with hiking/walking in the country. I even wrote my own self-published travel book about it, which detailed like 20 walks and day hikes that were easily accessible for students with no car. Many of them included sections of the “South West Coast Path”, a 630 total mile trail that runs along the coast of the Southwest peninsula of England. Ever since this experience and after reading Raynor Winn's book "The Salt Path," I can't get the idea of hiking the entire trail or at least a large segment of it out of my head.
Some more background about me is that I'm 22, freshly out of undergrad, and starting law school this August, so I'm trying to plan a super cool graduation trip as a last hurrah before I spend the next 3 years studying my ass off, lol. I love walking/hiking and I'd consider myself pretty physically fit but I'm not super experienced or anything and I've never been backpacking. Anyway considering how tied up I'll be with school and then internships/employment in the near future I CANNOT stop fantasizing about skipping town for like a month or so and hiking this trail. But I need to figure out if this is actually something I could do, or just another crazy idea.
Here's why I like the South West Coast Path idea so much even though it's a lot further than me than other trails like the AT. For one, it's perfect for a beginner: you're never more than like a couple hours walk away from the next town/civilization, the terrain is relatively easy, it's a beautiful trail with neverending vistas since it hugs the coast the whole time, and the climate in England is relatively mild. Like I mentioned I already have experience living in the country and hiking the trail on day trips. To me this seems like a much better and safer experience for a beginner who's never done true backcountry stuff in case something went wrong or I just hated it I could up and leave the trail in a day. Also wouldn't have to worry about packing in a bunch of food or supplies, or keeping them away from bears or other hostile wildlife.
The things that are giving me hesitations though:
Being a young, solo female hiker: Okay this is possibly remediated if I can get my boyfriend (also an avid hiker who's never backpacked, with similar skill level to me) to join. The only issue is I doubt he'd be able to take more than a week or two off work, and in my mind I'm fantasizing about going over there for like 3 weeks to make it worth it and since who knows when I'll have the time for something like this again (re: law school), and I might want to do more of the trip by myself. But then again.... maybe that's a long time for a first backpacking trip? Idk I'm curious on y'all's thoughts on this, being near civilization is a blessing and a curse because there could be more unsavory people you run into and less overnight hikers (the trail is mostly day hikers unlike the AT where there's also a steady stream of long haul/thru hikers). Also I feel like I'd get lonely af without a partner especially at nights.
Cost of the flight: Estimating it would be around $800 round trip if I book now.
Cost of the gear: I'd need to buy a backpacking bag, lightweight sleeping bag and pad, tent for 1-2 people (re: boyfriend), probably new clothes and possibly new boots, and all sorts of accessories I can't even begin to think of. My boyfriend already owns a backpacking stove if that's any help. If anyone could give me an estimate for how much the gear would run (tent/backpack/sleeping bag are the main ones) that would be great. I don't think it would need to be super top of the line since I'm not going to Alaska or somewhere crazy.
Please let me know what your thoughts are! I love this path and it's so close to my heart, Devon and Cornwall are beautiful. I need all the advice though :)

I’m working with GAP over the summer to basically be a local friend for summer exchange students. I’m working in my CV for studying abroad next summer and fall and wanted to work with immigrants or students new to America as a volunteership/outreach program. Does anyone know where/how to find programs like that? It doesn’t need to be paid but just something to be part of the community a lil more.