im normally don't ask for stuff like this and i not really expecting much but im crappy situation so i going shoot my . currently i was working as cocktail waitress and highly relay on tips but i broke my ankle and also a few months ago fled a domestic Abuse situation and also aabusive familysituation and moved to brand new city for a fresh start but since my ingurey i haven't been able to work and currently i not getting anywhere with work comp and wont be hearing them till next week . but my rent is due on Monday and.i don't have enough save to pay all my bills but im currently living in a hotel because after i left my old home filled with violence i needed get away from the abuse i moved to a city where my ex couldn't pop back into my life or least it be a lot harder for him to come back into my life and i don't much of a support system i looking to raise 500 so i can cover my rent for next few weeks while im healing so i can go back work or work comp can get back to me. I will using my cashapp $thatwicthdanni If anyone has the heart to spare anything i will gartfully appreciate it and i can pay someone back if needed.

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after he asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

It was so terribly cold. Snow was falling, and it was almost dark, when out of the blue, my wife called me at work. "We're going to Niagara Falls for the weekend. I got us an awesome deal!"
We had both been working at our first "full-fledged" jobs for a year and had reached that moment after graduation when you suddenly realize you can't make that impact on the world your student enthusiasm once promised. At first, I just sighed. It was the dead of January, and I had already expended all my energy on a week of inconsequential stress. I just wanted to collapse on the couch for two days. Sarah felt a similar weary exhaustion. I could tell. Her tone was more hopeful than excited, but she had dreaded the routine we were sinking into and was trying her best to pull us free.
I looked to the ceiling and adjusted my telephone headset. At that time I was working at Stats Canada on the tele-query desk. I took a deep breath and, as convincingly as possible, said, "Sounds good." I don't think she bought it, but we went nonetheless.
This was Niagara Falls before the casinos when there was a very distinct off-season. When we got to the hotel, we were given the details of our "lovers' special". One dinner to be used either Friday or Saturday, two breakfasts, a roll of tokens for the arcade, 10% off some "4D" movie ride experience, and a 2-for-1 coupon to Max Tussaud's. I guessed it was Madame's nephew? We also got a bottle of sparkling wine in our room and chocolate treats on our pillows. I was impressed. It sounded good.
When we got into our room and saw the "bottle" of wine - basically an aeroplane-sized glass and half - and the chocolates - "fun wrapped" Oh Henry's left over from Halloween - we both started to laugh. The tone for two wonderful days had been set. We decided to cash in on our dinner coupon right away.
The restaurant off the lobby had hopes of being better. There were huge panoramic windows that promised a view of the gorge. Unfortunately, they had some winter moisture problems that day, and it felt like we were defrosting amid the dripping streaks and foggy patches. The decor was your standard booths and tables though the "romantic" lighting was unique. Dollar store battery-powered tea lights were lodged inside thick tumbler glasses and shed a muted pleasantness in a "what a great idea for a craft" sort of way. I had a feeling they were created by our waitress since she was the one who always seemed to be fussing with them. Only one other couple was in the dining room, so she attended to us immediately.
"Can I get you something to start?"
"Sure." "Thank you, that would be nice." We both responded simultaneously.
"And what would the lady like this evening?"
Sarah smiled at the flattery. "I think I'll have a glass of white wine." She glanced over at me to see my reaction. This was a subtle cue of the mood to follow. Diet Coke was usually the beverage of choice. She didn't normally drink alcohol. One glass numbed her nose and made her giggle far too easily. When she did drink, however, it meant she was comfortable with my company and open to anything to follow. I raised my eyebrows in a debonair way.
"And for the gentleman?"
"Do you have Foster's on tap?"
"Yes we do."
"I'll have a pint please."
Sarah smiled at the happy memories I invoked. At university, Foster's was my signature beer. It was at a time when Crocodile Dundee was a known name, and Australia was inexplicably cool. 15 cent buffalo wings and a pitcher of Foster's was the Tuesday night special at the London Arms pub. There the Classics Club would meet and, as a group, circle the wagons and drink ourselves into extroverts.
As soon as the waitress left, Sarah smiled at me. She reached out and held my hand across the table. With my gaze on hers, she slipped her foot from her shoe and slowly began sliding it up my pant leg.
"I got a pedicure this morning." She announced seductively.
I nodded and pretended I didn't notice her invitation. "What colour?" I asked.
"I'm not telling." She teased. "You'll just have to find out later." Her devious little smile was gorgeous.
"Mmmm. I can't wait."
When the waitress returned with our drinks, we immediately retreated to our personal spaces as if we had been discovered by the chaperone. Sarah opened the menu and began to salivate at the variety.
"Can we add an appetizer to the package dinner?" Her question seemed innocent enough.
"You're on the package?" Our friendly waitress disappeared, and we were no longer a lady or a gentleman. She ripped the menu out of Sarah's hand and took mine before I had even opened it. She then scurried to her podium and brought back a tattered, grease-stained, photocopied page that we had to share. We both burst out laughing.
The waitress was flustered that we were not as bothered as she was. "The drinks are NOT included!"
"What choices do we have?" I asked, expecting the usual chicken or fish. I had been on many packages before with my parents.
"Coffee or tea." The waitress snapped.
Sarah and I looked at each other in amused disbelief.
"I'll have coffee please." I didn't even flinch at the ridiculously limited package. I was eager to get my order in early.
"And I'll have the tea!" Sarah followed my lead. "Can I have some milk with that?"
"Yes." The waitress snarled.
"Fantastic!" I enthused.
"Yes, great! I'm glad we got the package, Honey." Sarah joked.
The waitress stormed off and returned sometime later with our lettuce-only salads drowned in Kraft's Italian dressing and our chewy chicken dinners, which she had thoughtfully allowed to cool. She tossed the plates on the table and left us to peacefully devour our deal. We didn't see her again until we requested the bill. For some reason, we found it amusing to leave a generous tip, which of course, defeated the purpose of the package, but we didn't care. It was fun.
The rest of the holiday was marred with similar off-season products and services. The wax museum was only half open, so we couldn't see the pop stars of the seventies. I didn't think it was a problem, but Sarah pouted playfully. She really wanted to see young Bowie. Meanwhile, the arcade was particularly stingy about spitting out coupons. So much so that Mike, the scraggly-haired repair guy, ended up escorting us from game to game and repairing the devices on demand. In no time, he was acting like an old drinking buddy. He joked and laughed, then, out of the blue, revealed that working at the Niagara Falls Fun Centre wasn't his career choice, that his dream was to be part of a travelling carnival. He desperately wanted to see more of the world, he explained and socialize with a greater variety of "wildlife." Mike winked at Sarah to punctuate his meaning, then began advising her on which games to play.
Sarah was partial to Skee ball and clearly had career potential in the sport, but Mike quickly pointed out that the token-to-coupon payout was not the best. In a furtive whisper, he revealed that The Storm Stopper was your best bet, provided the arcade had left it on its original factory settings. He assured us the ones here were "cool." The game had lights that ran around the outside in opposite directions and you had to hit the button at just the right spot to win. It looked impossible, but Mike was right; if you calculated tokens in versus coupons won, it was the best deal. It only took a little practice to win a minor jackpot every 5 or 6 times.
We would cheer each win as if Toronto had won the Stanley Cup. I would give a quick fist pump and a full lung "Yes!" while Sarah would jump up and down screaming, "WhoooHooo!" Of course, in the end, when we cashed in, "Mike's secret" only bumped us up from a key-chain flashlight to a "deluxe" nail beauty set. Mind you, it did come complete with clippers, scissors, a file AND a cuticle scraper. Not only that, it was all neatly packaged in a paisley-patterned pink and green plastic vinyl case. Mike was so pleased to give us our prize and to be honest, we were thrilled to win it if only to see his broad chicletted smile. It was more of a trophy than a grooming set.
That night, I made reservations for us at a fancy Chinese food restaurant - the Bamboo Garden. When we arrived, we had half-expected renovations of some sort. Instead, the place was immaculate. Gentle pools teeming with goldfish highlighted the epic black and red Ming dynasty decor. Real candles flickered on crisp white tablecloths. Again, the restaurant was virtually ours. The reservations on my part were entirely unnecessary. In fact, as soon as we entered, they knew us by name and guided us directly to our table. A live lounge piano caressed the air, its notes danced vaguely around familiar harmonies until finally, as if prompted by our presence, a song emerged immediately accompanied by the velvet voice of oriental karaoke. It was our song remastered

Penguins: Survivor Canada is here! 16 Castaways will assort themselves into two tribes, Jouer and Dernier, and will battle it out for the prize of 1 million dollars!
Welcome back to the BrantSteele series with no effort whatsoever put into it, I'm penguin and this is Penguins: Survivor Canada!
https://brantsteele.com/survivo05/r.php?c=kQCS4XhP
Lets meet our castaways!
the Jouer tribe:
Craig Johnston, 27, Axe Thrower by u/swoldow
Jordan "Jojo" Lanston, 18, Blogger by u/AshZomboy
June Lau, 56, Hotel Receptionist by u/Twig7665
Leonardo "Leo" Costa, 36, Environmental Scientist by u/Nahuelfire39
Mercedes "Merces" Lopez, 41, Grandma of 3 by u/survivorgoldenboy
Randy Marton, Rancher by u/SilverOwl24 (no age provided)
Viktor "Zeystev" Zeystev, 37, Lawyer by u/swoldow
Walter Bloo, 48, Personal Trainer by u/AshZomboy
Dernier Tribe:
Amanda Harker, Vegetarian Chef by u/SilverOwl24 (no age provided)
Andre Johnson, 43, Teacher by u/xXiDamXx
Emilly Ford, 26, Private Detective, by u/survivorgoldenboy
Ignacio "Nacio" Ortega, 22, Ride Sharer by u/Twig7665
Joo-Won Ju, 27, Waitress by u/Nahuelfire39
Joshua "Josh" Samson, 37, Motivational Vlogger by u/Twig7665
LaQuanna Thomas, 27, Movie Theater Popcorn Vendor by u/swoldow
Trisha "Trish" Brown, 30, Novelist, by u/ToastieGreep
Winner: Jordan "Jojo" Lanston
Runner-Up: Randy Marton
Fan Favorite (Brantsteele): LaQuanna Thomas
Fan Favorite (My Choice): Andre Johnson
Thoughts: Great season. I didn't like that alot of the votes were boring unanimous ones (maybe I'm just spoiled from the insane votes in Japan lol) but still a great season overall. Jojo and Randy's insane underdog run was insane to watch! After Craig was gone they had to overcome a 2-5 deficit and pulled it off! Amazing work from Jojo and Randy. LaQuanna being eliminated with 0 votes against her do to being rocked out is sooo unfortunate. Zeystev was a great pre-merge villain, and Josh was a great merge villain. What an underdog story!
Previous Seasons:
Borneo
Australia
India
Japan

I posted this on the Amex Platinum sub forum and it was deleted by the mods
Recently I got myself a business platinum card which is perhaps the most worthless, narcissistic card for people who need their egos stroked... Second only to the centurion card.
After this year I won't even get my stupid Dell credit which allows me to get reimbursed for $200 worth of overpriced, outdated crap from Dell, 80% of which is already sold out to other shmucky biz plat owners who snapped up all the not-awful stuff before I did, damn it.
Back in the day when my dad had his business platinum card in the 1990s there was absolutely no point to having it. There were no "rewards." You just flashed it and hoped a nubile waitress was a bit of a gold digger and there was a nearby hotel room.
Given all the reductions in benefits and other silliness that Amex is now doing, I think the Platinum card (both personal and business) is returning to its roots and I for one am thrilled. It's almost like the days of Mad Men are returning.
TL;DR If you're wondering whether the platinum is worth it, you're not the target mark(et).
EDIT: LOL at the people posting in this thread with the personal platinum. That still has some sort of half-assed use. The business platinum has zero use other than a slightly heavy shiny object to flash around at busty waitresses who end up not caring.

Which would you choose between:
InterContinental New York Barclay
Hotel Indigo Lower East Side New York
Crowne Plaza HY36 Midtown Manhattan
Kimpton Hotel Eventi
Hotel Indigo Williamsburg - Brooklyn
We're two people traveling from out of town this summer and it's been a long time since we've been to NY. We don't have specific plans yet and aren't really into touristy stuff but don't mind being in a central area that is close to subway stations if it is in a touristy spot!

Just for a bit of context, I originally wrote this story for Odd_directions which is a fiction subreddit. We're doing an event over there called Monster May where we write stories about giant monsters. I thought it would be fun to try writing one in a kind of analog/found footage transcript style. This story took me about a week to write. You can consider this to be more experimental on my part because I want to continue this style except with a longer narrative as opposed to this one-off story here.
Anyway, let me know what you think of it and I hope you enjoy it.
On May 22, 2008, a wrecked Honda Accord was found on the Alaskan-Canadian border at approximately 5:30 AM. According to the witness who reported this to the authorities, it seemingly appeared out of nowhere, somehow ending up on its roof in the middle of the road. No driver or passengers were present in the vehicle. The only thing found of note was a video camera, the footage of which revolves around a family of four.
Kent Morris: Owner of the vehicle as indicated by the certificates found in the dashboard. Age: 38
Charlene Morris: Wife to Kent and mother to their children. Age: 36
Lena Morris: Daughter. Estimated Age: 7-8
Deb Morris: son, Estimated Age: 1-2
The following is a transcript of the footage.
It begins with the camera turning on with Lena smiling into it.
Lena: I think I got it working!
Kent: How can you tell?
Lena: Um, the red light is on.
Charlene: Lena, turn that thing off! That’s supposed to be for your cousin’s wedding.
Lena: But I’m bored!
Kent: Alright, we’ll tell you what. You can turn it back on when we get near your aunt and uncle’s town. Okay?
Lena: Okay.
The footage ceases and resumes several hours later. A sign reading “Welcome to Silverwright. Come stay for a while” is shown. Deb is then heard crying which is recorded.
Lena: Mom, Deb won't stop crying!
Charlene: Aw, it's probably just his toothaches.
Some funny faces by her and Kent in the rearview mirror help calm Deb down. Now, he laughs and smiles. The next 30 minutes of footage consists of the surrounding forest area and local businesses.
Kent: Hey, I'm getting hungry. Who wants to grab a bite?
Charlene: I could eat.
Lena: Me too! I'm starving!
Kent: Alright, now the question is where can we stop?
Charlene: Margaret was telling me about a new place that opened up in this town a week ago. I think it was called Betsy's.
Kent: What kind of food does it have?
Charlene: Meat and seafood.
Kent: Sure, that should work. Did Margaret tell you where in town it is?
Charlene: No, sorry.
Kent: No big deal, we'll just keep an eye out for it.
The Morris family does come across the restaurant. The building has a cabin-like exterior with a sign showing a crab holding a fish with Betsy's name over it in green neon lettering. They park and exit their vehicle. Lena films the surrounding area. The sound of buttons on the camera being pressed can be heard.
Presumably, this is her trying to figure out more features about it. Lena activates the zoom function. Upon doing so, some figures can be seen moving amongst trees in the distance. The shadowing makes it difficult to discern, but there appear to be at least three or four, wearing hooded black robes.
Kent: Lena, come on!
The camera zooms out and Lena follows her family into the establishment. The inside is bustling with patrons.
Charlene: Lena, why did you bring that inside? I don't want people looking at us funny.
Lena: But you and Dad said I could use it.
Kent: I mean, she's not wrong.
Charlene gives her husband a look of annoyance. The family then gets a booth. Lena sets down the camera which is angled at the window they are seated in front of. They then make their orders.
Waitress: Alright, just to double check that's going to be one surf and turf plate, an order of stuffed crabs with hush puppies, and two kids' chicken tenders with fries, correct?
Charlene: Yes, thank you so much.
Waitress: And the drinks?
Lena: Coke!
Charlene: No, we can't have you bouncing around our hotel room all night.
Lena: But Mom!
Kent: Listen to your mother, sweety.
Charlene: She'll have a Sprite. I'll have an iced tea, heavy on lemon.
Kent: And I'll have a rum and Coke.
Waitress: And dessert?
Charlene: Baked Alaska.
Kent: Let's see. I could go for some apple pie.
Lena: Strawberry Ice cream!
Charlene: Okay, but you're giving some to Deb.
Lena: Why do I have to?
Charlene: Lena, learn to share.
Lena: Yes, Mom.
While waiting for their food, a ringtone sounds. Kent pulls out his cell phone.
Kent: It's Johnny.
He answers.
Kent: Hey, what's up? No, it's fine. We're about to eat. We're at that new place you and Margaret went to. Yeah, that's the one.
How's Sindy been? Nervous, I bet. Hopefully, it goes well. Brett seems like a good guy. What?
Kent covers the phone and looks at Charlene.
Kent: “Hey, Johnny says Margaret wants to talk to you.”
Charlene agrees and is handed the phone.
Charlene: Hi, Margaret. No, the ride wasn't too bad. Deb and Lena actually behaved better than we thought. What do you need? I mean I could, but it's kind of short notice. It's in a few days. How has she not decided on one yet? I know it's her big day, but at some point, she needs to accept that not everything about it is going to be perfect.
Kent: I can attest to that. Always limit the number of drinks people can have.
Charlene gives Kent another glare before continuing her conversation.
Charlene: Alright, if no one else can, I guess I can make a little time while we're here. Okay, see you soon then. Bye.
Charlene hangs up and hands the phone back to Kent.
Charlene: They want me to help pick out a dress for Sindy.
Kent: This close to the wedding?
Charlene: I know. That girl is smart, but it feels like she can't make a decision to save her life.
The food arrives at the table and the waitress tells them to let her know if they need anything else before leaving. The next hour consists of the family eating.
Kent (while chewing): They weren't kidding. This place hits the spot.
Charlene: Don't talk with your mouth full. It sets a bad example for the kids.
Kent: My bad.
Charlene: The food is great, though. Are you enjoying it too, Lena?
Lena: Yep!
After some time, Charlene excuses herself to go to the restroom and tells Kent to watch their children. Kent lets Lena sip some of his Coke.
Kent: Shit, your mother's coming back. Also, don't say that word.
Lena: Shit?
Kent: No, don't! Yes, Lena, that word.
The meal continues. Something to note here is captured through the window. Once again, this relates to the forest. This time, different colored distortions can be seen, similar to digital glitching. Further analysis of this segment shows that the top of the trees appears to bend slightly.
While this could be due to a camera malfunction, it is unclear why this was condensed to such a small distant area. Upon concluding their meal, the Morris family has the rest of their food to go and exits Betsy's, heading to their hotel, a place known as Salt River Inn. Once inside their room, Lena starts jumping on one of the beds.
Charlene: Kent, did you let her have some Coke?
Kent: No, maybe.
Charlene: I said not to. Lena, get down from there this instant!
Lena is presumably too occupied to hear her mother's command.
Kent: Don't worry. I think I know what might help.
Kent turns on the TV, flipping through the channels until finding that Mulan by Disney is playing, having just begun. Lena stops jumping and sits on the bed, watching the screen tentatively.
Kent: See? No problem. Anyway, I'm heading in the shower. Want to come?
Seeing that their children are occupied, Charlene agrees. Mulan continues playing. The parents exit the bathroom around the movie's climax. Just then, the film is interrupted by a screen reading “Silverwright Weather Service” and an EAS beep sounds from the speakers.
Lena: Hey, where did the movie go?
Below is the message as heard.
[Attention residents of Silverwright, hazardous conditions are expected shortly.]
Kent: Johnny said the weather was supposed to be clear. Damn news people don't know a snake hole from their-
Charlene: Kent, be quiet! I want to hear this.
[For your safety, staying inside and away from windows is recommended. Shut off all lights and unplug all electrical devices to prevent damage due to strong currents.]
Charlene: At least it doesn't sound too serious. Hopefully, this will pass by morn-
[It is also advised that battery-operated devices be turned off as well. This includes cell phones, portable gaming devices, and even calculators. If you must have something on, a radio is most suitable for up-to-date information. Be mindful of volume should you choose this. Conditions are projected to last through the next several nights. We now return to your regularly scheduled program.]
Mulan resumes after a McDonald’s Happy Meal commercial.
Charlene: I wonder if Johnny and Margaret saw this too. Maybe we should give them a call?
Kent: No, I bet they’re sleeping already. You know how they are. Even an earthquake couldn’t wake them.
Charlene: Okay, are you keeping your phone on?
Kent: I don’t see why I shouldn’t.
Charlene: What about what the alert said?
Kent: How should I know? It’s probably like having your phone on airplane mode during a flight. It doesn’t mean anything.
The movie finishes. Charlene tells Lena to get ready for bed. She obeys and afterward lays down to sleep.
Charlene: Lena, did you remember to turn off that camera?
Groggily, Lena turns over and tries to shut it off. In her attempt, she accidentally hits the zoom button on the camera again and knocks it on its side, making it face the window. The red blinking light of a radio tower can be seen far away. Someone is climbing it. This is believed to be one of the hooded figures seen earlier in the video.
They reach the top and seem to raise their arms to the sky in a sort of welcoming gesture. The earlier digital-like distortion appears again. Something comes out of it, either a limb or appendage, and lifts the person, out of view. The distortion then pulses violet and rapidly spreads, soon making the sky above Silverwright the same color. Two hours later, Kent’s phone rings.
Charlene: “It’s after midnight. Who’s calling us now?”
The sound of the bed creaking can be heard.
Kent: Johnny again?
Charlene: I bet Sindy's freaking out that the wedding might be canceled. Answer, but tell him whatever it is will have to wait.
Kent: Hey, Johnny, listen. Wait, Sindy?
The bed creaks again as Kent sits up.
Kent: What? Hang on. I can’t understand you. Let me put you on speaker.
Sindy (sobbing): Mom and Dad are gone. I think something’s happened to them.
Charlene sits up as well. Kent replies to Sindy in a leveled tone.
Kent: Okay, Sindy, I want you to listen closely. Are you somewhere safe?
Sindy: I think so. Brett and I got into an argument earlier. My parents said I could come over. We talked for a while and then I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up about an hour ago to grab something from the fridge. I heard something weird coming from upstairs I wanted to see what it was.
Kent (pausing before replying): What did you find?
Sindy: It sounded like my parents were up so I decided to check on them, but they didn’t respond when I knocked on their door. I decided to try opening it and it was unlocked. They were just standing in front of the window. I think they were staring at something.
Kent: Were you able to see what?
Sindy: No, but the only thing near the house is the woods and that radio tower. Wait, maybe that’s what they were looking at. Their radio was acting weird before it happened.
Kent: Before what happened?
Sindy: Kent…I don’t think I’ll ever be able to comprehend what I saw. There was a purple flash and then their windows were busted in. Something grabbed them. I don’t know what it was. It reminded me of a giant hand only dark like a shadow. They didn’t even scream or anything while they were being pulled away. It was like they were okay with what was happening.
Charlene is the one who replies.
Charlene***:*** Sindy, sweety, tell us where you are in the hose right now and we’ll come get you.
Sindy: I’m in the basement. I figured that would be the safest option. Wait, what is that?
Noises akin to a tornado hitting a home sound through the phone speakers.
Sindy: Oh, god, it’s lifting everything! It’s massive! Wait…Its eyes. I understand everything now. I know I’ll be with my parents again soon.
Charlene: Sindy?
Sindy laughs.
Sindy: It’s so beautiful!
The call ends.
Charlene: We need to leave.
Kent: Leave? What about Sindy? What about Johnny and Margaret?
Charlene: We need to get them some help.
Kent: Okay, let’s try calling the police first.
He attempts and the phone keeps ringing.
Kent: Are you fucking kidding me right now?
Charlene: They must be busy.
Kent: What do we do then, go somewhere else to get help? The nearest town is hours away from here.
Charlene: I don’t see what else we can do.
Kent: I guess you’re right. We better pack.
Charlene and Kent repack their belongings. Charlene grabs the camera and carries Deb while Kent has Lena. Then the family exits the hotel room. The hall and lobby are full of people also trying to reach the exit.
Kent: We're never going to get out of here at this rate. Come on. This way.
They go to an emergency side door and push it open, causing the alarm to go off. Upon reaching their vehicle, there is a sound similar to when a microphone is held up to a speaker. Kent and Charlene let out yells of pain.
Kent: Where the hell is that coming from?
Charlene turns. A figure can be seen floating in the sky above the radio tower. Its appearance is reminiscent of a person's shadow that's been stretched out. Beams of pink light come from its eyes that scan the town below. It has an anomalous effect on whatever it touches. Inanimate objects and people alike vanish, the instant contact is made.
Charlene (voice trembling): What in God's name is happening, Kent?
Lena and Deb can be heard waking up with the latter crying. Their parents put them in the car. The camera is placed on the seat between the two children. Lena rubs her eyes.
Lena: Dad, why are we out here?
Charlene and Kent close their doors. The latter starts the car.
Kent: It's nothing, sweety, we just need to go on a little drive.
He backs out of their parking space and exits the lot, speeding down the road.
Lena: But I want to see Sindy!
Kent: We can't right now.
Lena: Why not?
Kent (voice raised): We just can't, alright?
Lena sobs slightly, but suddenly stops when she notices the camera.
Lena: Um excuse me.
Kent sighs. Charlene answers instead.
Charlene: What is it, honey?
Lena: I accidentally left the camera on.
Charlene: Don't worry about that right now. Just stay quiet and let your father drive, okay?
Lena: Okay.
Charlene: Good.
Lena picks the camera up and faces the back windshield. The creature seems larger than before.
Charlene: Kent!
Kent: I know. I see it in the mirror.
He accelerates.
Lena: Mom, Dad, what's that big thing?
Charlene: Something bad?
Lena: Is it gonna get us?
Charlene: No because we're playing a game with it, tag and if we can outrun it, we'll be safe. If you can help, try to calm your brother down.
Lena: I'll try.
The camera pans over the car floor. The head of a teddy bear sticks out from under the passenger seat. Lena grabs it and hands it to Deb. He stops crying.
Lena: Mom, I did it!
Charlene: That's good, sweety.
Kent continues speeding. On the sidewalk, the pink light washes over pedestrians. They freeze and then raise their arms in the direction of the being before vanishing.
Lena: Where did those people go?
Kent: We don't know.
He sharply turns a corner and goes onto a road that leads out of town.
Charlene: Is that it? Are we safe?
Kent: I think so. I don't know who we can go to about this. We'll try, though.
Lena: Dad?
Kent: Yes?
Lena: What's that thing doing?
The creature is rapidly scanning the area back and forth. Then it stares in their direction. The radio bursts to life with its cry from earlier, causing Kent to nearly go off the road.
Charlene: Keep it straight!
Kent: I'm trying!
The entity rips up several buildings and focuses its light on those areas. It grows and then levitates itself in the air. Its next action is technically flying. Although, its movements are more resemblant to swimming. The noise on the radio increases.
Charlene: Faster, Kent!
Kent: I don't think I can!
Lena: It's gonna catch us!
It dives, going out of view.
Kent: Huh? Where did it go?
Charlene: Kent, the road!
Lena focuses the lens on the front windshield. In the center of the road ahead, the being rises, tall enough to reach the sky. Kent tries sharply turning the steering wheel. It's assumed he is about to attempt a U-turn. Before he can, it shoots its lights at them, making them wash over the car.
It lifts off the road, freezing midair.
Kent (laughs): I get it now.
Charlene: Yes, Sindy was right all along.
Lena: Mom? Dad? What are you talking about? I don't like this.
Charlene: Don't worry, honey. It'll be okay soon.
Nothing else changes at first. Then both parents' bodies began to flatten and stretch out. They laugh as this happens. Deb and Lena begin crying.
Lena: What's happening to you guys?
Charlene: It's okay, honey. It won't hurt soon.
Lena looks at Deb who is also starting to go through the same process. She checks her hands and sees that she is as well. Both shriek as their parents' laughter turns into cackling. Simultaneously, all four family members disappear. The car hits the road and flips several times before coming to a stop.
In the months following the discovery of the Honda Accord, its tag number was used to trace back to the address of the Morris family. This lead went cold because the people who were living there had no idea who they were. By using the address of that home, we determined the possible location of Silverwright. According to our calculations, it should have been on the border going into Canada, but when we went to investigate, it was as if nothing had ever been there.
It's unclear whether the town belonged to the US state of Alaska or the Canadian Province of Yukon. However, as far as the two governments are concerned both Silverwright and the Morris family have never existed.

I've been working in the UK since 2018 as a software developeengineer. I have ILR and am one step away from citizenship. I've held 5 jobs before this one and never had 1-1s or reviews. I was severely micromanaged and bullied and I'm finally at a place where this doesn't happen. I have an Associate's and Bachelor's in a non-CS field. I'm self-taught and have been working in CS from 2009-2014. Took a sabbatical from 2015-2017 before jumping back in.
This brings me to my current job that has yearly reviews for all employees. I had mine and I'm doing great. No complaints from my boss. Just wants me to keep up the great work. I've exceeded all my goals. I did mention by not paying me more money then I'm earning less due to inflation. Told me it is what it is, unfortunately. The turnover rate at my new job is pretty much non-existent. My software engineering job only came about because the previous guy of 43 years died. The head of R&D is 50 and has held no other job. He told me he didn't get a raise until seven years into the role and he would never leave because he loves all the people. My husband is basically keeping me alive as he outearns me. Without him I'd have to have roommates somewhere.
I'm the only woman on the team and everyone else on the team has been here 25+ years so there must be a reason they stay. My work thinks the benefits are enough to keep people like free childcare, first class travel, free smoothies, free gym classes, paid for holidays at a Ritz hotel, free movie tickets, etc. etc. I'd rather have a raise than all these silly perks.
I live 2hrs outside London and don't drive. I have tried applying to other jobs casually, but they only want to offer my current salary or lower. Can't move as my husband enjoys his job and wants to stay in the area. Plus he loves our house and the location. Should I update my CV and start applying seriously or wait it out and do something else?

Hello everyone, i'm 25 y.o guy from Azerbaijan. Based in my homeland's capital city Baku. I've been to Dubai 5 times. Adorable city. After my last visit in early may this year I completely came to a conclusion i want to live there. Currently looking for a jobs to relocate, open for any kind of tips or help.
Shortly about my background:

1. Well-educated, graduated master degree in Istanbul, Turkey. ( Business Administration)
   
2. Bilingual, can speak Russian, Turkish and Azeri. All at native speaker level. English C1. ( have a certification)
   
3. After graduation started career as a Sports Marketing specialist ( got promoted to Lead Specialist recently). 2 years of experience.
   

Looking for a job related or close to my field of study or experience. Also open to work in Luxury Hotel Chain brands.
Would be grateful for help, tips, advice ( already using a Linkedin), probably you know someone who is hiring?
Can provide my CV with all details.
Thanks in advance 🙏🏻

Salve, avrei bisogno di un reality check prima di fare il passo più lungo della gamba. Siccome alla tenera età di 31 anni nel mio CV ho avuto solo e esclusivamente esperienze lavorative nel settore della ristorazione e turismo (hotel 5 stelle), se optassi per una laurea come economia o ancora meglio ingegneria, potrei avere anche solo la minima possibilità di iniziare una nuova carriera o devo mettermi l'animo in pace e continuare a fare questa vita che francamente mi ha abbastanza stancato? Non che non ci siano possibilità di fare carriera dove mi trovo ora, però mi ispira l'idea di cambiare completamente e mettermi in gioco.
Grazie in anticipo.
​

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First off Family discord is common, but it my mother has inadvertently encouraged my youngest sibling to call the police too frequently. Apologies for the paragraphs; they are intended to provide different perspectives.
The oldest He has been jailed several times for minor incidents, a habit reinforced by my mother's approach. He's not without fault, but it's important they realize the consequences of their actions. After being evicted, I supported him in living independently, hoping distance might facilitate healing. He had a temporary protective order (TPO) against him for an incident I wasn't present for, which my mother expedited to remove him from the house. He moved to Virginia and faced hardships but managed. Later, he requested to return home for two months to stabilize himself. the youngest child has issues with all his siblings
The oldest child reason for anger:
Upon his return, while showering in my bathroom, the youngest called the police. We were in the process of lifting the TPO, but he arrived sooner than planned. The police removed him from the shower, leaving him distraught, having just overcome homelessness. Realizing his mistake, he attempted to have the police return him, not understanding the legal system, resulting in financial strain from legal expenses.
The youngest child history: The youngest also bought a project car for $4,000. I implored my mother to step in during the transaction as he was stubborn and in need of parental guidance. She refused, asserting that he had made his choice, fully aware it was a fixer-upper. I warned that now was not the best time; we might lose the house. "If you can't fix that car within two weeks, you're in trouble; if you can, you're still in trouble and homeless," I said. I'm not a mechanic, but I repair my own car and know that fixing one issue often leads to discovering another. Despite my warnings, he proceeded with the purchase. As we faced losing the house due to his errors, he had $4,000, which would have been fine if the car worked. When my car broke down, he offered to help me instead of paying the internet bill. My best friend assisted me, so I told him to help mom with the bills; I was managing on my own. Later, I discovered he never assisted her, allowing the bill to accumulate to $1,000. He traded the project car for a Honda that badly needed an alignment and possibly a CV axle. He disregarded my cautions; I was blunt about the risks. He had never driven before, and his initial attempts were poor. I starkly told him he could die if he drove in that condition. Yet, he ignored the warning again. One morning, I awoke to police at the door; he had somehow hit two parked cars, front and back, and attempted to flee. Exhausted from trying to guide him, I told the officers they could take him. In summary, within a year, we lost the house due to his series of blunders, and we bailed the oldest child out of jail.
Presently, there was an altercation, and the oldest threatened to harm him. Mostly responding to my mother trying to make them get alone and forget his past. My sister and mother seem unable to grasp the full extent of his frustration. The youngest child basically ruined lives and did nothing to repair it he doesn't help with probation he doesn't help with lawyer fee's & I think I tried my best. So of course he says he will never be cool with him.
My best friend has offered me a place to live to escape the turmoil. I want to stay because I love my family and wish to help, but my sacrifices have cost me dearly, leaving my credit in ruins. Working so hard for years to end up in this situation living in a hotel has burnt me out my motivation is currently shot

Like what gives. Every single damn ATM machine I've ever been to so far has only allowed me to take out 1k baht bills. It gets annoying when I have to get pay a taxi 60bht and I open my wallet only to see 1k bills. Most of the time they don't have change.
I also want to tip drivers and food waiters/waitresses but when I open my wallet all I see are 1k bills. I can try and go into 7/11 to try and break my 1k bills but I look like a moron paying for a pack of gum with 1k bills and now the cashier has to break that down, slowly. At least in the west the machines give you the options if you want it in 10's 20's, 5's, etc..
The other day I brought this bargirl back to my hotel room and made love to her all night and at the end she wanted some money. I open my wallet to what do I fucking see, nothing but 1k baht bills again and so she's waiting patiently while I'm fucking fumbling around my wallet with endless wads of 1k bills trying to find some semblance of change.
I tell her I can't give her the amount she wants and I ask her if she has change and what the fuck do you know she doesn't have change (just like everyone else) so now I gotta go break that HUGEASS bill again.
Anyone else feel this way or have this problem with ATM machines?

Im currently in an HR management position in one of the top IT companies in Sri Lanka. I just like to understand few things.

1. When applying for HR related jobs, why do most companies insist on having HR related qualifications even to consider a person for an interview. I myself do not have an HR specific qualification yet but i do have a Masters. What im saying is some so called candidates with even the highest level of HR qualifications seem to have nothing upstairs when compared to people with good experience. This is just a piece of paper nowadays that most people get by paying money. To add to this i can remember some years back i went to a prominent hotel for an interview and the first person who interviewed me treated me with respect and was very interested in forwarding my application so she immediately took me to her boss. He was a prominent figure in the place that you can get this HR qualifications. Without even looking at my application or CV he did not even speak to me but was reading a paper while interviewing me which i found very disrespectful and he said he cannot hire me to a role without an HR qualification. This was mind you while i had 5 years of solid work experience. This was really rude and i was shocked that a person like him behaved this way.
   
2. In terms of candidates in general. For the love of god why dont Sri Lankan job seekers name their CVs properly when emailing them to jobs. 95% of people have no names on their cv files, it would say cv1 cv curriculum vitae and some half names etc etc. and why do candidates also not understand the meaning of canvassing. My team always makes it a point to inform whoever who is not selected in due time which is around 2 to 3 days after the interview. But oh my dear some candidates once we have interview them next day they would contact half our staff on LinkedIn/SM and keep asking the status of their application. Some even get offended when we send the rejection email out. Not to mention some even apply for every position we advertise.
   

Does anyone have any similar experiences as I do?

What started as a panicked attempt to get her over-intoxicated friend to a hospital ended up in a disastrous car crash that claimed the lives of her friends... and a careless God crossing the street. But Sammi's adventure wasn't about to end there. In her dying breath, the God curses Sammi to take up her mantel. Now with her three friends resurrected as ghosts, Sammi has to navigate the tricky world of godhood.
Previous Chapter Next chapter coming soon!
Start here! Patreon (up to chapter 9)
I love houses. House flipping, house hunting, crazy properties in town, gorgeous exotic vacation destinations. I think in a past life I was a real estate agent. Or a carpenter. Interior designer, actually, probably. Maybe just rich?
Doesn’t matter. I love houses, and I was gonna get myself the best digs in town.
“Best digs in town might be a liiiiittle suspicious?” Joni said as I began adjusting the filters of my favorite search: Lottery houses.
“So do you… we’re looking for a house?” Cara was leaning over my shoulder, watching as I pushed the Rooms, Cost, Square Footage, and Bathrooms options as high as I could. “Cause if you don’t even own a place, I feel like saying you’d answer my questions when we got to New Olympia is kinda a blow off.”
“Not a blow off,” I said. “This probably won’t take too too long. I just don’t want to kick anyone out of their house that, like, is a regular person living their life.”
“Kick them out?”
I paused and looked up at Cara, eyes serious. “Please. The parroting. It’s making me nervous.” Then I looked back down and began sifting through various mansions, penthouses, lake houses, villas. “For sale or for rent?”
“For rent,” Blair said immediately. She propped her head up on her chin as she watched me scroll. “Then you don’t gotta kick anyone out.”
“She’s got a point,” Christopher said. “Both from a, like, humanitarian point of view but also from a logistical point of view. Whoever’s moving needs the money pronto to buy a new house and they’re gonna constantly be dealing with banks and shit. You’d need a new lie a day just to keep them off you. But with rentals and all, first off, landlords renting out ten grand a month properties are already making bank off other units. Yeah you’re screwing them over, but not as bad. They got a buncha others. Second, you pay monthly, so you really only gotta fend them off once a month.”
My thumb jammed the “For Rent/For Sale” switch, and I cranked up the rental price. “What else are we thinking for criteria?”
“Middle of town’s a bad idea,” Joni said. “Too easy to find us.”
“We don’t have to, like, hide though,” Christopher said. “Just say you’re both out on bail. I mean, the point is to find Miller and bring him to justice, right? That’s gonna take time. There’s no place far enough out of town that we could hide in for long.”
I squinted at him, tearing my eyes away from a sexy seven bedroom manor with two pools. “What?”
He sighed, as if convinced that I was in the wrong for not understanding what fuck he just said. “Like, think about it Sammi. We’re not actually gonna be able to hide. Or if we are, it’s gonna be in an alley or some shit.” He wrinkled his nose at the same time I did. “They’re cops with detectives and shit, and they think we shot someone and broke someone else out of jail. They’re gonna find us. We’ll have to lie, not hide, to avoid being put back. So may as well be local to all the action.” With this, he pointed directly at a lofty unit in the center of town.
Hmm. He brought up a valid point, so I checked it out.
A five bedroom penthouse with three terraces giving outdoor views of the entire city. Bathrooms that put the hotel to shame. Closets the size of my old bedroom. A pool deck. Appliances with fancy brand names I only ever heard on episodes of “Dream House” and hadn’t actually realized existed in the real world. Enough bedrooms for me, Cara, and the ghosts to each sleep separately.
For a moment, the enormity of it washed over me. Not just the enormity of the house, though it was enormous, but the reality of what I could accomplish. This apartment was twenty five thousand dollars a month. I’m not entirely sure I’ve made that much money in my life. Or, okay, probably around that, but that’s my point. This was the kind of unit rich people showed off in out-of-touch blogs or escapist shows about the lifestyles of famous people. And it could literally be mine if I could play my cards right. Or not even right. Just not catastrophically wrong.
Cause I was a God. And for the first time since becoming a God, I was using my abilities, my status, my familiars and shit to do something cool. Not rob a TechShack of some earpods or break in or out of a hospital.
This was a big yield.
As I had my little epiphany, Cara had taken over scrolling my phone, much to the relief of my ghosts, who’d started grumbling about the static screen while I zoned out.
“Okay.” Cara looked at me. “I’m not gonna ask any of the questions you know I want to ask, cause that’ll just piss you off.” Thank God she was learning. “So we’ll skip that for now and ask the really important question. How are you gonna get your hands on this place?”
–
Step 1 was to get to the place, which kinda sucked, given we were still at Pizza Dogs. It just wasn’t a very cool start to the coolest scheme I’d ever pulled off. Luckily Pizza Dogs closed at 9, so a solid number of people were leaving the restaurant. I was able to wave down a waitress who’d just checked off of her shift and convince her she was a taxi driver.
“You’re really loving this whole taxiing thing, huh?” Christopher said.
“At least she’s not talking like a robot trying to use slang.” I grit my teeth at the memory of Cops Cop and Taxi Service.
“No, you just told her she was mute.” Blair stuck her lip out. “That’s mean, Sammi.”
“I told her she couldn’t talk. That’s different.” I gave Cara a weak smile, but she hadn’t even commented on my ghost talking. She just buried her face in her hands. See? Learning.
Step 2 was gonna be actually getting in the unit. The listing on HouzeHunting didn’t exactly have the name of the landlord on it, so I was gonna have to get creative getting in touch with them. What it did have was ‘24 hour doorman service,’ which meant getting in would be easy peasy.
Finally we pulled up to the address I’d given our driver. 1732 East Windham Street. She leaned out the window, looking up the seventy story building.
“It’s totally appropriate for you to talk now,” I said as I scrambled out, towing Cara with me. No sense in actually making her mute for life.
The woman nodded. “You, uh, live here or visiting? If you don’t mind me asking.”
I flipped my wad of black hair over my shoulder, wincing at how singularly it moved. I shoulda combed it after my bath yesterday.
“Live here, obviously.” I gave a rich person kinda snort, nose in the air and all.
“Huh.” She looked back at me, rubbing the back of her neck as if it was sore from craning up so high. “But you needed a taxi to get here?”
“Uh.” Rich people used taxis, right? On the ladder from Sammi to Bill Gates, someone had to use them, and if I couldn’t afford a taxi normally, then the typical passenger must exist somewhere above me. “My fancy personal car got towed cause I was parking it in a fire lane.”
The woman didn’t look convinced. Not that she thought I was lying, but she still looked at me like I was dumb as dirt. “You don’t have, like, a personal driver?”
I cocked my head at her, trying to mirror Joni’s sassy tilt but probably just looking confused. “Are you offering?”
Her lips parted, and I could see her brain chewing on this question. “What do you… wait, are you being serious?”
Was I? Suddenly I wasn’t sure. Having a personal chauffeur could be kinda great. Someone always available to text or call when I needed a ride so I wouldn’t have to keep remembering where I left my car. Besides, driving made me nervous. I’d never been a particularly bad driver, no prior accidents, never really hit anything in the past, unless we’re counting bumper cars. Which we’re not, cause I’m a menace in bumper cars. But that’s like the point.
Or, no, the point was, I wanted to minimize driving, and this woman could be key. Of course, I knew nothing about her. What if she had a family at home and I told a too strong lie and she never saw them again?
But then, she wouldn’t be offering if she wasn’t serious, right? Sure I’d lied and told her she was a taxi driver, but the average every day taxi driver didn’t just ditch their families to be rich people’s chauffeur’s.
“Uh. Yeah.” I looked at the ghosts. Two thumbs up from Christopher, one from Blair, and two thumbs down from Joni. That was a total of one thumbs up, if my math was right. “Yeah, I pay ten thousand a month.” We could figure that out later.
The woman’s eyes shot open. “Okay, you’re actually fucking with me. You’re actually offering to hire me for ten thousand a month.”
I nodded. “Yeah. And you can… I mean, if you got your own place, you can stay there obviously but you could also stay in one of my bedrooms. I got some extra ones I was gonna give to the gho–uh, dogs. But I don’t have dogs, so you were next on the list. Well, a chauffeur was next on the list. But also if you’ve got–do you have a family?”
Each of my statements plunked out of my mouth like gumballs out of a broken candy machine. But she just kept nodding like this was a normal proposal.
“I mean, I had a boyfriend.” Her face flushed crimson. “Kinda embarrassing to say at my age. Thought we were–” She took a deep breath. “Thought he was the one. I’m not gonna say I was looking to have kids or anything, so I suppose age doesn’t matter, but that doesn’t mean I really want to start over. Five years wasted is all, and at my age, the well starts to dry up a bit. People look at you a bit…” She blinked. “I’m sorry, that’s not really what you asked, was it.”
It wasn’t entirely, but I was kinda hooked on the story now. “Yeah it was,” I said. “It was the first question in the interview, and you’re nailing it. Uh, you actually already passed the first round. Let’s take the rest inside.”
The woman let out a shaky breath and smoothed her frizzled hair. “Right, of course. Thank you so much!”
Cara had, thank God, kept her mouth shut this whole interview process, so I just towed my newly formed posse towards the doorman.
“My key got lost,” I said confidently and too quickly, noticing way late that there weren’t any visible keyholes anywhere on the door. “Uh…” I looked nervously at the ghosts.
“Just tell him someone said he should let you in,” Joni said.
“Yeah.” Blair smiled. “Carl from management.”
“No–”
“Carl from management said you should let me in,” I said, bowling over Joni’s protests. “I own that top penthouse suite. Suite 72. The one for rent. Or, not for rent cause I’m renting it now. And I called earlier because my key is broken and Carl your manager said–”
I stopped finally because the doorman had long since stopped frowning perplexedly at me and had just tapped his card against the door.
“Haha,” I said, verbalizing the laugh a little too hard. “Look at me, talking too much as always.”
He frowned again, but nodded nonetheless, before holding the door open for me. “Here you are.”
“Thank you so much,” I said, stepping in like a real fancy lady. “I’ve got it from here.”
And, because I was stupid and always spoke without thinking, he nodded and shut the door behind me.
So technically Step 2 ‘get in’ was done, but it was like, barely done. Like when your mom says ‘go to your room’ so you sit in the doorway. Cause I wasn’t really close to my new apartment yet, which meant a new step on the list. Step 3? Get into New Olympia.
Somehow a little sneaky ‘Step 3b, interview your new chauffeur’ had snuck on the list too, but that would be easy to finish once I got to the actual unit.
It was literally impossible to keep my jaw in its socket as we walked through the lobby. I was actually straight up speechless at how fancy it all was. There was a bar in the lobby, like this was some hotel! Given my experience with rich people things, it was either totally free or thirty bucks a glass. Still, it was pricey enough that I should probably have been charged just for looking at it. Even Cara and the driver had their mouths gaping open as they looked around, taking in the mirror shiny marbely floors and columns.
I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath, and really tried to capture this moment of peace and quiet inside the lobby of my new home.
“Blair stop humming, they’ll be able to hear you.”
“I’m using my regular humming, not my banshee humming.”
“My bad, shoulda clarified. I’m able to hear you, and you’re annoying me.”
“Joni, why are you always so mean.”
“She’s, like, kinda got a point. You need to get that stick out of your ass.”
“I’ll get the stick out of my ass when Blair stops humming.”
“Bro, it’s totally more than the humming, and you know it.”
“Is singing okay?”
“No.”
“What about–”
“Why don’t you just whistle, Blair?”
“That’s not nice. You know I can’t whistle.”
“Kinda my point.”
“Hey, be nice to Blair, Joni.”
Peace and quiet were overrated anyway. We were here for schemes.
My eyelids snapped open. In front of me was a big old reddish wood desk. The sign on it said “Main desk, open 7AM to 9 PM.” Next to it was another, more temporary sign, “Partial Service After Hours. Ring Bell For Assisance.”
My eyes drifted hungrily to the shiny golden bell. It was the kind you see in movies and shows, you press down a few times to summon the waiter or whoever sits behind the desk.
“Just once, Sammi,” Joni said, already reading my mind. “You ring it once.”
“But Joni,” I whispered, hand hovering over it, “I’m a God.”
DING DING DING DING DING DING DING
Seven was overkill. The man was there after the first two rings. But I couldn’t stop. It was too satisfying.
He regarded me with pained eyes. “Ma’am, you didn’t have to ring it that many times.”
“I didn’t,” I said confidently. And just like that, the pained look vanished. He didn’t look comfortable though, probably because I didn’t look like I should be there. Time to fix that.
I jutted my chin out. “Is there, like, a master key to all the elevators and units you can give me.”
The guy blinked rapidly. “I’m… sorry, you want what?”
“Lies, Sammi. That was a request!”
This is why we needed Joni and the stick up her ass.
“Uh.”
“Tell him that… I don’t know, someone from management said you could borrow a skeleton key.”
I smiled. “Carl from management told me I could have a skeleton key. A, you know, a key that opens all the doors.” I gave Joni a panicked glance.
She motioned her finger in a repeating loop and mouthed ‘go on.’
“And.” I swallowed. “You said you would give us one.”
The concierge sighed. “I know. I know. I just.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Carl doesn’t manage my department, so if this isn’t the right call, Sandy’s gonna have my head.”
I eyed the ghosts nervously. The lie had worked but it didn’t seem to fully convince him. “Sandy said…”
“Keep it simple,” Joni hissed.
“...that you would give me a key to let me in?”
“Right, please hold a moment, it’s almost done transferring.” The concierge paused and looked at a key card on his desk. He squinted before picking it up and beeping it against a little card pad. It flashed red. “I’m sorry,” he said. “The transfer didn’t go through right. One moment please.” Then he typed on his computer for a few very long minutes while Cara, the driver, and I all stood frozen by the elevator. After several breath-holding moments of silence (yeah, now the ghosts decide to shut up) he tapped the card again and it flashed green. “There we go.”
I let out a long breath before scuttling over to pick up my card. “Thank you!” I said, a cheery forced grin on my face. “Thank you so much! Remember, this came from, uh, Sandy’s boss, and she told you not to tell Sandy, so keep it zipped!”
He mimed zipping his lips as I waved again before rushing to the elevator.
Soon we were zooming up dozens and dozens of levels as my breathing came more and more naturally. Even the elevator was fancy. All golden mirrors, which Blair was staring at, disappointed that she couldn’t see her reflection in them.
There was no one on the seventy second story and ther was only one door, at the end of a gleaming hardwood hallway. My black boots clomped awkwardly as I escorted the driver–still in a bright orange shirt with a barking dog and a slice of pizza on it–and Cara–still in an orange jumpsuit–towards the door at the end.
Once I got there, I tapped my card, and we were in.
I don’t really have good words to describe the place. Huge, for one. Empty for another. Those were the two big ones. I could have gawked at it all, but I was a little tired of gawking, so I filed away ‘tour my house and get it fitted out’ for later. Besides, I had all my gear and shit still in my car… somewhere. I’d get it up here eventually and then the real decorating could start.
But there was a first step. Well two first steps. Okay, technically only one could be the first step, so we’ll do that first.
I waved Cara to join me in one of the bedrooms.
“I’ll finish your interview in like, fifteen minutes,” I said to the driver. She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, closing the door behind me and plopping down on the ground.
Cara stood awkwardly, eyeing the big ass empty room with a big ass empty bathroom off to the side. “Okay,” she said, still standing. “Do I need to–”
“No no, I said I would…” I trailed off, lips pursed and confused. “You wanted… Or… I was gonna tell you–”
“Oh shit yeah.” Now suddenly Cara was on the floor across from me, leaning in. “You’re telling me what the fuck is going on.”
My breath rushed out in a long woosh as I contemplated how to start this. Joni had made a snarky comment at one point like ‘pushing this off won’t make it easier’ and I’d responded with a ‘I’ll come up with a plan while I delay’ which of course I hadn’t, and now I was angry cause Joni was right.
“So the problem is,” I said, starting slowly. “Everything I tell you, you’ll believe.”
“Obviously,” Cara said, believing me instantly.
“But no one else but me knows what’s going on. So I can’t help but…” I trailed off again, noticing Cara nodding animatedly. This wasn’t working. I wanted her to believe me cause she fully understood and accepted my story, not cause of magic. But to get that, I couldn’t be the one to tell her, and the only other people who knew about my godliness were the ghosts and–
I smacked myself on the face. Sammi, you’re a genius. An actual, mensa accredited whiz kid.
“Blair,” I said, smiling. “I think I’ll offload this to you.”
Blair frowned, scrunching her nose up for a moment, before pointing at herself. “Me?”
I nodded confidently. Blair knew everything but lacked the Verity Tongue. This would be a sinch.
“Cara, how do you feel about a little ghost story?” I shivered a bit, getting goosebumps at my own words. Now that lead-in was brilliant. ‘A little ghost story’, who came up with that? I was getting smarter by the minute.
“Oooooooooooooh.” Blair zoomed around the room, and Cara leapt to her feet.
“What the fuck?”
“Bewaaaaare moooooortal,” Blair droned, pitching her voice low. “For the story you’re about to hear is both dreadful and awwwwwful. Fear for your soul for those who hear this story are cursed and will find themselves in an early–”
“Blair!” I shouted. “Stop that. What the fuck? Literally not like that. Like literally anything but that. You need to start with–”
“Yo, Sammi, dawg, chill.” Christopher patted my back. “We’ll help her out.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to taint the story with your god powers,” Joni said. “We’ll sort Blair. You interview the pizza waitress.”
Suddenly my genius felt like the opposite of genius. Yeah, delegation was important, but I did want to hear what the ghosts were telling Cara. Didn’t I need to know? What if they told her something totally wrong and stupid? Or what if they said something mean? Like what if they really played up the part about my reckless speeding? What if they lied about something? Made me look incompetent.
I opened my mouth to protest, but Christopher just gave me an icy pat again.
“Look, you’re gonna jump in to correct something we say, and it’s just gonna fuck up Cara.” He gave me a serious look, one of the most serious looks he’d given me since this whole ordeal. Which was honestly kinda stupid cause of all the times to pull out there ‘seriously, Sammi’ face, he was picking now? Was this really the right time for this? “Seriously, Sammi. We got this.”
I didn’t believe him at all, but they were absolutely right about me likely fucking this up with my motor mouth. No way was I sitting still while Joni made snarky comments about me, like, eating gross bagels or telling cops to steal poop.
“All right,” I said. “Come out when you’re done. Or if you need hands at all. Like if she passes out and you need to check for a pulse.”
“Are you talking to me?” Cara said.
“No. I’m talking to the ghosts.” And with that I closed the door.
Looks like Sammi's got a house! And maybe a minion or two on top of her familiars. Let's see how Cara takes all of this...

Hello everyone, i'm 25 y.o guy from Azerbaijan. Based in my homeland's capital city Baku. I've been to Dubai 5 times. Adorable city. After my last visit in early may this year I completely came to a conclusion i want to live there. Currently looking for a jobs to relocate, open for any kind of tips or help.
Shortly about my background:

1. Well-educated, graduated master degree in Istanbul, Turkey. ( Business Administration)
   
2. Bilingual, can speak Russian, Turkish and Azeri. All at native speaker level. English C1. ( have a certification)
   
3. After graduation started career as a Sports Marketing specialist ( got promoted to Lead Specialist recently). 2 years of experience.
   

Looking for a job related or close to my field of study or experience. Also open to work in Luxury Hotel Chain brands.
Would be grateful for help, tips, advice ( already using a Linkedin), probably you know someone who is hiring?
Can provide my CV with all details.
Thanks in advance 🙏🏻

Hello everyone, i'm 25 y.o guy from Azerbaijan. Based in my homeland's capital city Baku. I've been to Dubai 5 times. Adorable city. After my last visit in early may this year I completely came to a conclusion i want to live there. Currently looking for a jobs to relocate, open for any kind of tips or help.
Shortly about my background:

1. Well-educated, graduated master degree in Istanbul, Turkey. ( Business Administration)
   
2. Bilingual, can speak Russian, Turkish and Azeri. All at native speaker level. English C1. ( have a certification)
   
3. After graduation started career as a Sports Marketing specialist ( got promoted to Lead Specialist recently). 2 years of experience.
   

Looking for a job related or close to my field of study or experience. Also open to work in Luxury Hotel Chain brands.
Would be grateful for help, tips, advice ( already using a Linkedin), probably you know someone who is hiring?
Can provide my CV with all details.
Thanks in advance 🙏🏻

Hi !
I see a lot of people finding it hard getting a job or a job in a certain pay bracket.
Personally I believe a lot of it starts at mindset.
Life isn’t a race, you cannot expect to start off in first place and sometimes there will be people overtaking you or progressing faster, and that’s absolutely fine, there will always be someone bigger faster better. The thing that matters the most is that you have a continuing progress and keep on track.
Here is my own personal career broke down for you >

1. Novartis ( Pharma ) / Assistant role ( Switzerland )
   
2. OZ / sales role ( Germany )
   
3. AP aluminium / loading aluminium on ships ( France )
   
4. Lidl / sales assistant ( UK )
   
5. Hotel / Night Porter ( UK )
   
6. Ebay / support Assistant ( UK / Remote )
   
7. Ebay / Account Manager ( UK Remote )
   
8. Ebay / Senior Account Manager ( UK Remote )
   

I listed this for a simple reason.
My first job paid me about 3-4 times the money as my lidl and hotel job, sometimes you step down in the career ladder for whatever reasons, but the most important part is to keep going, even if it’s work you don’t like or isn’t the best paid, it’s not just about gaining money, it’s also good to show employers that you are always on the ball, no matter what the job is, you are out there working.
Adding to this, I have not applied to eBay , they contacted me due to my CV, they asked me to apply with them officially just for the sake of it, but basically told me beforehand they want me to work there it’s just the official process.
I have no degrees, no qualifications. I have a good work ethic and never missed work unless I was that sick that I needed to actually be in hospital.
Also adding to this, I never cared a lot about my salary, it’s better to make 12£ an hour over 0£ an hour and benefits.
However everyone has their own motivation, you just need to find yours, I personally don’t care about money at all, I drive a old car and buy clothes from primark even though I am on a 6 figure salary, my motivation is my kids.
This is not a hate or shame post by the way, it’s more so to motivate people, get out there and do something, no matter what. A positive attitude and body language can go a far way. Negativity can jump from you to your interviewer and that’s that already. And you can be negative without saying anything negative, facial expressions, body language , tone of voice etc.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask.