Hi friends! This is my first warm season as a knitter, I started knitting after christmas. I noticed many people do the seasonal knitting meaning they will knit warm garments from like september till march and from march till august they will knit spring and summer garments. I did give warm weather garments a try, I made one top with drops belle but I am not super happy with it since it is a thick fabric so not really great for summer, one I made with drops Paris using drops free pattern, that one is even worse, super thick and way shorter and smaller than it sould be (yes, I did meet gauge and picked the correct size). In general I enjoy knitting with wool way more than with non-streachy plant based yarns. I also heard about drops not being the greatest yarn. So my question is should I give warm weather garments another try with better quality cotton or linen yarn (I was thinking sandnes garn since it seems to be really loved in the knitting community)? Or will every plant based yarn give me this heavy, thick fabric and brand doesn't really matter? I'll just add, in general I got into knitting because I looove sweaters. Seriously, no amount of sweaters is too much for me, I'll wear sweaters every day from october till february. I'm not so sure about how much wear I would get from knitted tops since I would wear them mostly when it's really hot and when I don't want any thickness in my garments.

I have a sweaters quantity of happy place blossom. A pretty, bright, DK weight pink that is quite gorgeous.
I’ve completed all of my current WIPs (so rare, I know!) and am at a loss for what to knit next.
Pink is so far out of my colour comfort zone but I loved the colour so much. Since it’s such a bright colour and summer is right around the corner, I’m looking for a summer knit with this yarn.
Maybe a Tee, tank or anything in between! Anything with slight pattern to it also would be a plus! I think this yarn would really shine from maybe a fisherman’s rib or eyelets.
Any pattern recs are welcomed!

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now and have had my journey of recovering from massive social anxiety and isolation. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can :)

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now and have had my journey of recovering from massive social anxiety and isolation. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can :)

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now and have had my journey of recovering from massive social anxiety and isolation. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can :)

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now and have had my journey of recovering from massive social anxiety and isolation. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can :)

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can😊

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can😊

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can😊

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been working in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can😊

Hey, hope this is appropriate to post here! I've been into Dr. K's work for several years, and in the world of mental health and self-development for over a decade now. I've never really been active online and talked about these ideas with friends, coworkers, and partners. However, I feel inspired to stimulate some discussions I find are important and try to contribute to this and other similar communities. So I would like to share with you some reflections I wrote. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. I'm not here to convince you of my ideas (although perhaps I can write persuasively sometimes), I am no authority, but I would love to hear your reflections, thoughts and discuss. I feel hopeful to try to find some truth together through this, and maybe think together as a community how we can make certain situations better for people. Of and please be very honest! I'm not looking for feedback for my form, or to get better at writing although I'm sure I could definitely use some. But I would love to see what these ideas evoke and people, their stories, their concerns, their disagreements, and points of view.
Let me know if I'm breaking the rules, and if you want more discussions like this! I'm eager to talk about agency, addiction, customizing mental health interventions, combining self improvement with social impact, the effects of our construction of social status on happiness and growth, how we can make the internet more nuanced and promote mindful content vs polarized, absolutistic and quick dopamine hit formats.
Well, without further ado. Welcome and thank you.
What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Man?
I acknowledge that the question may be irrelevant. That we may not need a definition. These definitions do not apply to everyone who uses the same term. However, people, perhaps more commonly those who identify as men, do often choose a definition. It is often nebulous, implicit, acted out, and unexamined. An amalgamation of ideas we are fed by others, cultural norms, emotional reactions, stereotypes, and beliefs we buy into. These ideas come from many sources that we do not have the opportunity to question. Being told to not cry and be a man while growing up, the attempts of other men to portray themselves as strong whether fruitful or vain, narratives around celebrity, status, fame. These often influence us, and eventually have some influence on the stereotypes that form around the idea of being a man. Perhaps it would be helpful to examine these ideas. I find them quite problematic. Not because I want to erase the concept of manhood, but because I think they often do a disservice to what a man can be and embody. We are often led to believe that unless we act in a certain way, we are not men. That we are weak, that we are not valuable, that we will not be respected and loved. And that the way to avoid this is to conform, to become rigid and put up our walls and defenses. This can often lead to tragically unnecessary outcomes. Alienation, isolation, stress, inner critique, avoidance, low self-esteem, and perhaps even push people away and lash out at them. We are told we need to hustle and grind to live up to being a man, that unless we reach certain goals we are diminished and failures. And we are often certain not the ones to choose our goals, but they are imparted on us.
So are the stereotypes true? What is it to be a man? Is it to be wealthy, physically strong, intimidating, shouting, or aggressive? Are these traits that we often see espoused by what we've come to associate with masculinity? Is it to achieve nebulous "success" as defined by others, and at any cost? Is masculinity dependent on the admiration of others, and upon the validation of our romantic interests? Is this what is central to being a man? Are we falling for a false narrative? Or are these phenomena just a symptom of our confusion, and the result of not having a clear vision of what being a man can entail?
My experience tells me that by adopting these notions, we underestimate and undervalue what a man can be, giving way to and rationalizing insecurities. We assume, through this model, that we cannot deal with certain experiences with grace and severely limit our growth. Are we not suffocating our freedom by buying into these narratives? Perhaps it is our lack of role models that deprives us of formative experiences during childhood, of seeing men be a pillars of love and calm for others. Seeing them be truly loved and respected, without the need for any gimmicks, silver tongue, status games or other forms of compensation we are continuous told me need by companies and influencers.
No, I believe the reality of being a man is much more profound than that. That we are leaving so much on the table by not having this compass. That it can seem daunting, but infinitely rewarding. I also don't view it as a stressful obligation that needs to be met otherwise we are unworthy. Rather, an invitation. I believe our natural inclination and the identity in which we flourish most are far from these stereotypes. It seems to me that it is blocked and occluded by many factors. And the path to actualizing it is of acceptance. It is time to seek out an identity that defies all those gurus who try to make us feel insecure, to try to be like them, to buy their products, to keep trying to replicate techniques that only reinforce self-doubt and the idea that we cannot embody who we want to be, live the life we want without chasing shiny status symbols.
No, to be a man is much more than that.
The idea of a man is to be able to fully feel one's emotions, one's fears, without panicking, without changing one's behavior, and doing the loving right thing. People think that feeling weakens you, controls you. But a man still has the agency to choose how he responds to them without cowering and escaping them, and therefore blinding himself. A man can feel his sorrow and still show up to work. A man can feel insecure but not run away and go for what he wants. A man can feel small and not hide from others, but share his vulnerability and still choose to step up. A man can let himself feel desperate and needy but choose to respect his integrity and not try to control the situation to suppress how he feels. The beautiful thing is, you don't have to be there. We are often told that unless we hit the mark, we are shunned and not respected. I have found that to not be true, and my imperfect attempts to be open, to hold space, to feel, have brought people closer to me and gave them the opportunity to help me grown and support me when I am vulnerable. It created the space for people to accept me the way I am once I took the step to be vulnerable and reveal myself. And that has helped shed so many insecurities.
Being a man is to have the courage to love, whether vulnerable or with tough love, and boundaries. It is to choose freedom and feeling through pain rather than contracting and escaping. It is to be able to give space, to serve others, to love them, to support them. To show one's weakness without trying to escape it, while working on improving. It is to be resilient, resourceful, and proactive in doing what seems to be right without the need for control. It is loving oneself and not chasing validation from others. It is to love without expecting in return, which is very different from being used. It is to tell the truth even when it is difficult. It is to, with inner calm and gentleness, confront someone with the appropriate intensity when they hurt others, or themselves. It is to be your brother's keeper. It is to forgive. It is to protect those you love. It is to weather the storm of love with as much calm as possible. It is to let go of the need to prove oneself. It is to be an anchor. It is to take life with humor. It is to love others as fully-fledged human beings and not as a means to an end.
It is to realize that sexual gratification does not make a man, and yet to fearlessly and compassionately give yourself to your partner. To realize that wealth and status cannot weld inner rifts. It is to comfort one's inner child when its demons terrify it. It is to be a light onto this world and give space to the darkness. It is to accept responsibility and uphold it. It is to be free from the fear of losing freedom. These are all not exclusive to men, but qualities latent within us all.
However, if we decide to be men, let us be this sort of forgotten, powerful man. A man that does not need to belittle, a man that does not need to abuse, a man that recognizes his own beauty and strength and has faith in it when he feels small. That allows love to come in. A man that does not need to retaliate when others disturb him. That recognizes that nothing can reduce the being within, its potential, and the beauty of the world it projects into its consciousness through his eyes.
Men, believe in yourself. You can be who you want to be. You can create the life you want. You can attract the one you love. But society is letting you down. Instead of giving you tools that work, it shoves you on an eternal treadmill. A treadmill that only profits those who would see you be an obedient soldier, a consumer, a higher bracket taxpayer, or whatever pursuits or status our society brainwashes us to pursue.
You can do all these things, but let it be your choice. Make these things more attainable by growing, by reducing the inner conflict, by using the full power of your emotional awareness and regulation that is only unlocked by feeling. By understanding yourself and others better. By seeing things more clearly, not by following others' techniques and instructions only but by honing your perception and intelligence. So much social conditioning and consumer culture divide us, make us understand each other less, and make us alienated from other genders and groups. Sometimes so they can sell us their narrative and their products. Let us be free.
Easier said than done you say?
We truly live in a world that makes it harder to develop these qualities. Or perhaps these qualities are there, but their potential is suppressed and supplanted by other patterns. We often start off with trauma and life events that interfere with our growth. We try to cope, and the world can be harsh to our coping mechanisms. We model the world as we see it through our hurt selves, and we often blame ourselves for being stuck. Luckily, there are ways to break out of the cycle. It's unfortunate that most of us don't have access to people who guide us through the process. And most importantly, we are constantly distracted by strategies that don't work. Buy this course, go to this gym, buy these clothes, make more money, stress and push yourself, or get lost in the system trying to get therapy. We keep being told we need to be better, and enhance ourselves from the outside in. But we are not taught how much we can affect our mental software, how we can reshape our psyche, heal from patterns, and regain our natural social and emotional skills and self-esteem.
This requires calm, patience, time, and deliberate focus, but our focus is snatched away by millions of distractions and a barrage of FOMO. We are made to feel stressed and insecure, that we need to succeed and maximize our potential, so that we consume more tips, coffee, addictions, or work ourselves to death to the benefit of employers, tax agencies, or the general economy. We are told we don't have time to reflect, that if we make the wrong choice we are screwed, so we need to hurry and follow whatever beaten path is thrown onto us. We perpetually seek guidance, sometimes from people that masquerade as experts on YouTube for views and forget to strengthen our own intuition and remove whatever puts us on a leash.
We are social animals; we process information about social situations unconsciously far more effectively than through our thinking minds. Anxiety can block this, so we assume we lack knowledge and need to learn. We resent the anxiety and fight it, and get stuck in a perpetual battle we cannot win because we are using the wrong method. Then we blame ourselves. Make ourselves smaller. And the cycle continues, with more desperate attempts to exit the cycle and find more tips and tricks.
There is a way out, but it feels so counterintuitive that we expect it the least. Meeting ourselves where we are at, exposing ourselves to our fears and weaknesses, growing from there, sharing it with others, feeling—it all makes us feel like we will get stuck. The child that learned these lessons throws a tantrum at the possibility. But we are not children anymore. We needed these strategies in the past, but now they hold us back. We do not need to hide; we are capable of growing and learning to meet our own needs. And that is the way forward.
Do you truly think this kind of man is weak? That he is unable to achieve what he sets out to do? That women will gloss over? I have never been so comfortable and connected to women as when I started letting go of all the things above and being there. Calm, present, joyful, grounded in my own being, and creating space for the both of us; changing the dynamic forever into one of exploration, of love, of excitement, of ease, and of insight for the other person that sees that this mode is possible.
Let's build this reality together. Please, tell me what this made you think. Please argue and object, or ask questions. I am not an authority, but we are here to explore together, think independently and disagree. Perhaps we can reach more nuance and truth that way together. Share your experience with me. Share with me your ideas on how to create a world that does not inhibit the freedom of man but encourages his agency, helps him be better to others, and be a source of flourishing rather than anguish to women. And, let me know if you want me to write more. I have a lot of experience and ideas I haven't shared. If it helps, I will. Want to bounce off ideas on how to start implementing this? Just send me a text and i'll try to share some things that worked with me when I can😊

Abby loved her bow. It was a great weapon, and she could carry it easily without it getting in the way. But if she was ever going to experience close combat, it would probably be best to have another option. Some kind of melee weapon that could do a lot of damage without putting her too much at risk. So she headed to the armory to check out the weapons that were available. In her three weeks at camp, she'd seen all kinds of cool weapons. There were kids with battle axes, crossbows, swords, daggers, and even crazy custom weapons.
The main armory was next to the Athena cabin, which was a bit of a walk from her own. Since it was still cold enough at night for sweaters, she wore her favorite pink one with the extra long neck that she'd knitted herself. She had to fold it down twice and it still hugged the edges of her jaw, but it was nice on nights like this. Her silver wolf pendant gleamed in the moonlight.
She wondered how her parents were doing. When she left for camp, her mortal mom was almost eight months pregnant. Abby hoped she could get out of camp somehow to be there at the hospital for the birth, but she also knew it would be a big risk, and if monsters attacked her family trying to get to her, she would never forgive herself.
Lost in thought, she almost walked right past the armory, and had to double back to find the door. No one else was inside, so she could look at everything as long as she wanted. There was so much stuff she didn't even know where to start. She found herself aimlessly browsing like she was at the supermarket, comparing dagger lengths and sword grips to find one that best fit her.
One weapon that caught her eye was a sickle, the kind farmers use to chop sugar cane or cut wheat. Except this one was made of celestial bronze with a serrated edge and shimmering moonstones embedded in the handle. She lifted it carefully off the rack, and, after double-checking to make sure she was alone, swung the blade in a sweeping motion.
Yes. This was it. This felt right. But she also had an idea to make it even better. A formidable weapon that even monsters would be terrified of.
Abby took the sickle and headed to the forge, hoping she wasn't the only one up at this time of night. Fortunately, it was easy to tell when someone was inside, as the sounds of hammers hitting metal was one of the surest signs. And that was exactly what she heard when she made her way to the entrance. She'd never been inside the forge before, so she was a little bit shocked to see hazmat suits displayed prominently for guests to wear. Well, she didn't want to burn to death, so she put one on. It was about two sizes too big, and the helmet kept flopping to one side or the other, but if it protected her from the heat and smoke inhalation, it would be worth it.
Carrying the sickle in one hand and holding up the waist of the hazmat suit with the other, she headed inside and looked around for someone who could help her. Even in the protective suit, she still felt the heat, and she was sweating within minutes. It was like the sauna at the gym, only much less fun.
OOC: Feel free to interact, especially if your character is a Hephaestus kid!

Three big questions many Christians have.
If God is good:

1. Why does life depend on death to continue?
2. Why hasn't Jesus returned and made things right yet?
3. Why hasn't Jesus' teaching done away with suffering?

Life is a classroom to teach us how to be worthy of eternity. Eden represents life in its perfect, heavenly state. God created us in His image to teach us to be like Himself. Unity, equality, and love are distinct, but inseparable components of God. We must learn to value them to be worthy of eternal life.
We had everything we needed in Eden to create heaven on earth. We could have learned every lesson by interacting with God and Creation. The animals' traits teach us about character. The plants teach us value. The seasons teach us preparation and timing. Every lesson shows that patience and love give the greatest benefit. Healthy limits on these avoid their abuse.
The unity of Adam and Eve shows us why we must be like God to fulfill our purpose. (The other big lesson of "family" is to support the weak, Job 29:11-17, Acts 4:32-35) Adam is made in God's image. God gives Adam His own breath = spirit. (John 4:24) Adam has a surplus without a deficit to fill. This is the state God / Love is in without a Creation to receive His love. Adam sees his need when he cannot find a worthy partner among the animals. (Genesis 2:20) From his own body, God fashions a woman. Eve, was with Adam from the beginning, but not in a form that truly completed him. She is given back to him and they return to being one. (Genesis 2:23-24) We "leave and cleave" because this sacred relationship is the most important lesson we need to get before time runs out. We can learn to be one in the most joyful and painless way, if we keep marriage sacred and sinless.
Sin divides us. Every lesson on earth teaches us to distinguish between what brings life or death. All sin eventually brings death. We change our classroom every time we bring sin/death into it. We have to deal with the consequences as part of our lessons. The curses on the First Family, are lessons that teach what a god must patiently endure when his creation deviates from eternal behavior. (Psalm 82:6, Matthew 5:43-45, John 10:27-38)

• Adam (representing God)
• works the ground (earth representing Adam)
• to produce food (satisfaction for God's emptiness without a safe target for His love.)
• but it only produces thorns (Adam's selfish, destructive behavior)

This pattern continues throughout history; for example, we didn't have a "death-penalty" until we needed it to stop sin from spreading to all life. Once we realized, "an eye for an eye" would make the whole world blind, we were ready for the Healer, Jesus Messiah.
The questions:

1. "If God is good, why does life depend on death to survive?"

Death is a consequence of being unable or unwilling to sustain life. Sin is willful deviation from unity/equality/love. Sin leads to death of the innocent. It eventually will lead to the death of everything. It is stopped by the correction and/or punishment of the deviant death-bringer. (The difference is between willful sin and ignorant sin. Numbers 15:28-31, Romans 5:12-21, Luke 12:47-48, Romans 6:23)
The death-penalty is like surgery. It's a last-resort treatment to keep sin from spreading to healthy, life-supporting members of creation. There was no death in Eden until humans brought it in by sinning, instead of healing our world. (Genesis 1:28, Genesis 2:15) The flood account tells us that all life was corrupted by sin. It's why God resorted to destroying every land animal that didn't enter the Ark. (Genesis 6:11-12)
When man left the Ark, we received meat as food and the death-penalty for shedding innocent blood. This came about in order to weed-out the abusive and negligent. (I say "we" because we are all still one, as long as sin doesn't separate us.) Removing the sinful, and cleaning up after sin is part of sustaining life now. (Genesis 9:1-6) Creation is made whole again when its resources are put to use by those who submit to eternal laws, (Unity, equality, love. Proverbs 28:8) Evolution denies the Biblical account, so please know I don't judge anyone for believing our secular school teachers. Evolution can't account for things like this: "Deer saves rabbit from hawk." There will be no death in the age to come. (1 Corinthians 15:26, Isaiah 25:8)

1. "Why hasn't Jesus returned and made things right yet."

God is being patient with us. He doesn't want anyone that could be saved to be left behind. (Ezekiel 18:30-32, 2 Peter 3:9, Matthew 24:29-44) We have time limits on our lessons. Like babes in the womb, mankind has a fixed time in this age. We will become fit for eternity or we won't, depending on what we spent our lives becoming. We are all one. Each person's experience serves as a witness to what is, or isn't life-sustaining. (Ecclesiastes 9:10, John 9:4) We're wise to live by eternal lessons for the sake of ourselves and those connected to us. (Ecclesiastes 9:11-18, Matthew 25:1-13)

1. Why hasn't Jesus' teaching done away with suffering?

Sin creates suffering for everyone. That's why it's so evil. We have a free-will to choose death or life. (Genesis 2:9, Deuteronomy 30:19, Acts 2:38-40) Jesus taught us to do things that promote life, but we disobey Him. (Matthew 25:40, Proverbs 19:17) What we live and die to accomplish proves our devotion to love, unity and equality, or our lack of it. (John 11:7-10, 1 Peter 4:12-19)
Scripture references:
Life is a classroom meant to teach us how to be worthy of eternity.
Job 29:11-17 NKJV

11 When the ear heard, then it blessed me, And when the eye saw, then it approved me; 12 Because I delivered the poor who cried out, The fatherless and the one who had no helper. 13 The blessing of a perishing man came upon me, And I caused the widow's heart to sing for joy. 14 I put on righteousness, and it clothed me; My justice was like a robe and a turban. 15 I was eyes to the blind, And I was feet to the lame. 16 I was a father to the poor, And I searched out the case that I did not know. 17 I broke the fangs of the wicked, And plucked the victim from his teeth.

Acts 4:32-35 NKJV

32 Now the multitude of those who believed were of one heart and one soul; neither did anyone say that any of the things he possessed was his own, but they had all things in common. 33 And with great power the apostles gave witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And great grace was upon them all. 34 Nor was there anyone among them who lacked; for all who were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the proceeds of the things that were sold, 35 and laid them at the apostles' feet; and they distributed to each as anyone had need.

The first family's form and situation parallel spiritual truths about God.
John 4:24 NKJV

24 "God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth."

Genesis 2:20-24 NKJV

20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Every lesson on earth teaches us to distinguish between what brings life or death, in order to become like God. He is the source and example of unity, equality and love.
Psalm 82:6 NKJV

6 I said, "You are gods, And all of you are children of the Most High.

Matthew 5:43-45 NKJV

43 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 "that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

John 10:27-38 NKJV

27 "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 28 "And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 29 "My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father's hand. 30 "I and My Father are one." 31 Then the Jews took up stones again to stone Him. 32 Jesus answered them, "Many good works I have shown you from My Father. For which of those works do you stone Me?" 33 The Jews answered Him, saying, "For a good work we do not stone You, but for blasphemy, and because You, being a Man, make Yourself God." 34 Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your law, 'I said, "You are gods" '? 35 "If He called them gods, to whom the word of God came (and the Scripture cannot be broken), 36 "do you say of Him whom the Father sanctified and sent into the world, 'You are blaspheming,' because I said, 'I am the Son of God'? 37 "If I do not do the works of My Father, do not believe Me; 38 "but if I do, though you do not believe Me, believe the works, that you may know and believe that the Father is in Me, and I in Him."

The questions:

1. "If God is good, why does life depend on death to survive?"

Death comes from being unable or unwilling to sustain life. Sin brings death when those who could sustain life abuse, neglect or don't understand their duties. We all have a conscience. We know we owe our lives to someone who believed in supporting the weak, but some of us listen to our flesh anyway.
Numbers 15:28-31 NKJV

28 'So the priest shall make atonement for the person who sins unintentionally, when he sins unintentionally before the LORD, to make atonement for him; and it shall be forgiven him. 29 'You shall have one law for him who sins unintentionally, for him who is native-born among the children of Israel and for the stranger who dwells among them. 30 'But the person who does anything presumptuously, whether he is native-born or a stranger, that one brings reproach on the LORD, and he shall be cut off from among his people. 31 'Because he has despised the word of the LORD, and has broken His commandment, that person shall be completely cut off; his guilt shall be upon him.' "

Romans 5:12-21 NKJV

12 Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned-- 13 (For until the law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law. 14 Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who had not sinned according to the likeness of the transgression of Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come. 15 But the free gift is not like the offense. For if by the one man's offense many died, much more the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abounded to many. 16 And the gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned. For the judgment which came from one offense resulted in condemnation, but the free gift which came from many offenses resulted in justification. 17 For if by the one man's offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.) 18 Therefore, as through one man's offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man's righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life. 19 For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man's obedience many will be made righteous. 20 Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, 21 so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Luke 12:47-48 NKJV

47 "And that servant who knew his master's will, and did not prepare himself or do according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48 "But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.

Romans 6:23 NKJV

23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

There was no death in Eden until humans brought it in by sinning, instead of healing and taming our world. The flood account tells us that all life became irreparably corrupted by sin. We were put here to tame the animals, but instead, we led them by our bad example.
Genesis 1:28

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Genesis 2:15 NKJV

15 Then the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.

Genesis 6:11-12 NKJV

11 The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. 12 So God looked upon the earth, and indeed it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted their way on the earth.

There will be no death in the age to come.
1 Corinthians 15:26 NKJV

26 The last enemy that will be destroyed is death.

Isaiah 25:8 NKJV

8 He will swallow up death forever, And the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces; The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; For the LORD has spoken.

When man left the Ark, we received meat as food and the death-penalty for shedding innocent blood. This came about in order to weed-out the abusive and negligent. Creation is made whole again when its resources are put to use by those who submit to the eternal laws of unity, equality, and love.
Genesis 9:1-6 NKJV

1 So God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth. 2 "And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be on every beast of the earth, on every bird of the air, on all that move on the earth, and on all the fish of the sea. They are given into your hand. 3 "Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. I have given you all things, even as the green herbs. 4 "But you shall not eat flesh with its life, that is, its blood. 5 "Surely for your lifeblood I will demand a reckoning; from the hand of every beast I will require it, and from the hand of man. From the hand of every man's brother I will require the life of man. 6 "Whoever sheds man's blood, By man his blood shall be shed; For in the image of God He made man.

Proverbs 28:8 NKJV

8 One who increases his possessions by usury and extortion Gathers it for him who will pity the poor.

1. "Why hasn't Jesus returned and made things right yet."

God is patient with us. He doesn't want anyone left behind unless its absolutely necessary.
Ezekiel 18:30-32 NKJV

30 "Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways," says the Lord GOD. "Repent, and turn from all your transgressions, so that iniquity will not be your ruin. 31 "Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O house of Israel? 32 "For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies," says the Lord GOD. "Therefore turn and live!"

2 Peter 3:9 NKJV

9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

Matthew 24:29-44 NKJV

29 "Immediately after the tribulation of those days the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. 30 "Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in heaven, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. 31 "And He will send His angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they will gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other. 32 "Now learn this parable from the fig tree: When its branch has already become tender and puts forth leaves, you know that summer is near. 33 "So you also, when you see all these things, know that it is near--at the doors! 34 "Assuredly, I say to you, this generation will by no means pass away till all these things take place. 35 "Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. 36 "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. 37 "But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. 38 "For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, 39 "and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. 40 "Then two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left. 41 "Two women will be grinding at the mill: one will be taken and the other left. 42 "Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming. 43 "But know this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and not allowed his house to be broken into. 44 "Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

Mankind has a fixed time on earth. We will become fit for eternity, or we won't, depending on how well we paid attention to life's lessons.
John 9:4 NKJV

4 "I must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work.

Ecclesiastes 9:10-18 NKJV

10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going. 11 I returned and saw under the sun that--The race is not to the swift, Nor the battle to the strong, Nor bread to the wise, Nor riches to men of understanding, Nor favor to men of skill; But time and chance happen to them all. 12 For man also does not know his time: Like fish taken in a cruel net, Like birds caught in a snare, So the sons of men are snared in an evil time, When it falls suddenly upon them. 13 This wisdom I have also seen under the sun, and it seemed great to me: 14 There was a little city with few men in it; and a great king came against it, besieged it, and built great snares around it. 15 Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city. Yet no one remembered that same poor man. 16 Then I said: "Wisdom is better than strength. Nevertheless the poor man's wisdom is despised, And his words are not heard. 17 Words of the wise, spoken quietly, should be heard Rather than the shout of a ruler of fools. 18 Wisdom is better than weapons of war; But one sinner destroys much good."

Matthew 25:1-13 NKJV

1 "Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 "Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. 3 "Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, 4 "but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. 5 "But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept. 6 "And at midnight a cry was heard: 'Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!' 7 "Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. 8 "And the foolish said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' 9 "But the wise answered, saying, 'No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.' 10 "And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut. 11 "Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, 'Lord, Lord, open to us!' 12 "But he answered and said, 'Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.' 13 "Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.

1. Why hasn't Jesus' teaching done away with suffering?

Sin and suffering are inseparable. Our Teacher has done all He could to bring us into eternity despite our sinful world. He even provided a perfect example for us to follow. Sadly, some still use their free-will to choose sin. We must be able to manage a free-will to be safe to inherit eternity.
Genesis 2:9 NKJV

9 And out of the ground the LORD God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Deuteronomy 30:19 NKJV

19 "I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;

Acts 2:38-40 NKJV

38 Then Peter said to them, "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 "For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call." 40 And with many other words he testified and exhorted them, saying, "Be saved from this perverse generation."

Jesus explained that our response to His teaching should be to do things that promote life.
Matthew 25:40

40 "And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did good to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.'

Proverbs 19:17 NKJV

17 He who has pity on the poor lends to the LORD, and He will pay back what he has given.

What we live and die for proves our commitment to love, unity and equality, or our lack of it.
John 11:7-10 NKJV

7 Then after this He said to the disciples, "Let us go to Judea again." 8 The disciples said to Him, "Rabbi, lately the Jews sought to stone You, and are You going there again?" 9 Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. 10 "But if one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him."

1 Peter 4:12-19 NKJV

12 Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; 13 but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. 14 If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified. 15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people's matters. 16 Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter. 17 For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 Now "If the righteous one is scarcely saved, Where will the ungodly and the sinner appear?" 19 Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.

May truth and love guide us home.

Three big questions many Christians have.
If God is good:

1. Why does life depend on death to continue?
2. Why hasn't Jesus returned and made things right yet?
3. Why hasn't Jesus' teaching done away with suffering?

Life is a classroom to teach us how to be worthy of eternity. Eden represents life in its perfect, heavenly state. God created us in His image to teach us to be like Himself. Unity, equality, and love are distinct, but inseparable components of God. We must learn to value them to be worthy of eternal life.
We had everything we needed in Eden to create heaven on earth. We could have learned every lesson by interacting with God and Creation. The animals' traits teach us about character. The plants teach us value. The seasons teach us preparation and timing. Every lesson shows that patience and love give the greatest benefit. Healthy limits on these avoid their abuse.
The unity of Adam and Eve shows us why we must be like God to fulfill our purpose. (The other big lesson of "family" is to support the weak, Job 29:11-17, Acts 4:32-35) Adam is made in God's image. God gives Adam His own breath = spirit. (John 4:24) Adam has a surplus without a deficit to fill. This is the state God / Love is in without a Creation to receive His love. Adam sees his need when he cannot find a worthy partner among the animals. (Genesis 2:20) From his own body, God fashions a woman. Eve, was with Adam from the beginning, but not in a form that truly completed him. She is given back to him and they return to being one. (Genesis 2:23-24) We "leave and cleave" because this sacred relationship is the most important lesson we need to get before time runs out. We can learn to be one in the most joyful and painless way, if we keep marriage sacred and sinless.
Sin divides us. Every lesson on earth teaches us to distinguish between what brings life or death. All sin eventually brings death. We change our classroom every time we bring sin/death into it. We have to deal with the consequences as part of our lessons. The curses on the First Family, are lessons that teach what a god must patiently endure when his creation deviates from eternal behavior. (Psalm 82:6, Matthew 5:43-45, John 10:27-38)

• Adam (representing God)
• works the ground (earth representing Adam)
• to produce food (satisfaction for God's emptiness without a safe target for His love.)
• but it only produces thorns (Adam's selfish, destructive behavior)

This pattern continues throughout history; for example, we didn't have a "death-penalty" until we needed it to stop sin from spreading to all life. Once we realized, "an eye for an eye" would make the whole world blind, we were ready for the Healer, Jesus Messiah.
The questions:

1. "If God is good, why does life depend on death to survive?"

Death is a consequence of being unable or unwilling to sustain life. Sin is willful deviation from unity/equality/love. Sin leads to death of the innocent. It eventually will lead to the death of everything. It is stopped by the correction and/or punishment of the deviant death-bringer. (The difference is between willful sin and ignorant sin. Numbers 15:28-31, Romans 5:12-21, Luke 12:47-48, Romans 6:23)
The death-penalty is like surgery. It's a last-resort treatment to keep sin from spreading to healthy, life-supporting members of creation. There was no death in Eden until humans brought it in by sinning, instead of healing our world. (Genesis 1:28, Genesis 2:15) The flood account tells us that all life was corrupted by sin. It's why God resorted to destroying every land animal that didn't enter the Ark. (Genesis 6:11-12)
When man left the Ark, we received meat as food and the death-penalty for shedding innocent blood. This came about in order to weed-out the abusive and negligent. (I say "we" because we are all still one, as long as sin doesn't separate us.) Removing the sinful, and cleaning up after sin is part of sustaining life now. (Genesis 9:1-6) Creation is made whole again when its resources are put to use by those who submit to eternal laws, (Unity, equality, love. Proverbs 28:8) Evolution denies the Biblical account, so please know I don't judge anyone for believing our secular school teachers. Evolution can't account for things like this: "Deer saves rabbit from hawk." There will be no death in the age to come. (1 Corinthians 15:26, Isaiah 25:8)

1. "Why hasn't Jesus returned and made things right yet."

God is being patient with us. He doesn't want anyone that could be saved to be left behind. (Ezekiel 18:30-32, 2 Peter 3:9, Matthew 24:29-44) We have time limits on our lessons. Like babes in the womb, mankind has a fixed time in this age. We will become fit for eternity or we won't, depending on what we spent our lives becoming. We are all one. Each person's experience serves as a witness to what is, or isn't life-sustaining. (Ecclesiastes 9:10, John 9:4) We're wise to live by eternal lessons for the sake of ourselves and those connected to us. (Ecclesiastes 9:11-18, Matthew 25:1-13)

1. Why hasn't Jesus' teaching done away with suffering?

Sin creates suffering for everyone. That's why it's so evil. We have a free-will to choose death or life. (Genesis 2:9, Deuteronomy 30:19, Acts 2:38-40) Jesus taught us to do things that promote life, but we disobey Him. (Matthew 25:40, Proverbs 19:17) What we live and die to accomplish proves our devotion to love, unity and equality, or our lack of it. (John 11:7-10, 1 Peter 4:12-19)
Scripture references:
Life is a classroom meant to teach us how to be worthy of eternity.
Job 29:11-17 NKJV

11 When the ear heard, then it blessed me, And when the eye saw, then it approved me; 12 Because I delivered the poor who cried out, The fatherless and the one who had no helper. 13 The blessing of a perishing man came upon me, And I caused the widow's heart to sing for joy. 14 I put on righteousness, and it clothed me; My justice was like a robe and a turban. 15 I was eyes to the blind, And I was feet to the lame. 16 I was a father to the poor, And I searched out the case that I did not know. 17 I broke the fangs of the wicked, And plucked the victim from his teeth.

Acts 4:32-35 NKJV

32 Now the multitude of those who believed were of one heart and one soul; neither did anyone say that any of the things he possessed was his own, but they had all things in common. 33 And with great power the apostles gave witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And great grace was upon them all. 34 Nor was there anyone among them who lacked; for all who were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the proceeds of the things that were sold, 35 and laid them at the apostles' feet; and they distributed to each as anyone had need.

The first family's form and situation parallel spiritual truths about God.
John 4:24 NKJV

24 "God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth."

Genesis 2:20-24 NKJV

20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Every lesson on earth teaches us to distinguish between what brings life or death, in order to become like God. He is the source and example of unity, equality and love.
Psalm 82:6 NKJV

6 I said, "You are gods, And all of you are children of the Most High.

Matthew 5:43-45 NKJV

43 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 "that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

John 10:27-38 NKJV

27 "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 28 "And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 29 "My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father's hand. 30 "I and My Father are one." 31 Then the Jews took up stones again to stone Him. 32 Jesus answered them, "Many good works I have shown you from My Father. For which of those works do you stone Me?" 33 The Jews answered Him, saying, "For a good work we do not stone You, but for blasphemy, and because You, being a Man, make Yourself God." 34 Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your law, 'I said, "You are gods" '? 35 "If He called them gods, to whom the word of God came (and the Scripture cannot be broken), 36 "do you say of Him whom the Father sanctified and sent into the world, 'You are blaspheming,' because I said, 'I am the Son of God'? 37 "If I do not do the works of My Father, do not believe Me; 38 "but if I do, though you do not believe Me, believe the works, that you may know and believe that the Father is in Me, and I in Him."

The questions:

1. "If God is good, why does life depend on death to survive?"

Death comes from being unable or unwilling to sustain life. Sin brings death when those who could sustain life abuse, neglect or don't understand their duties. We all have a conscience. We know we owe our lives to someone who believed in supporting the weak, but some of us listen to our flesh anyway.
Numbers 15:28-31 NKJV

28 'So the priest shall make atonement for the person who sins unintentionally, when he sins unintentionally before the LORD, to make atonement for him; and it shall be forgiven him. 29 'You shall have one law for him who sins unintentionally, for him who is native-born among the children of Israel and for the stranger who dwells among them. 30 'But the person who does anything presumptuously, whether he is native-born or a stranger, that one brings reproach on the LORD, and he shall be cut off from among his people. 31 'Because he has despised the word of the LORD, and has broken His commandment, that person shall be completely cut off; his guilt shall be upon him.' "

Romans 5:12-21 NKJV

12 Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned-- 13 (For until the law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law. 14 Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who had not sinned according to the likeness of the transgression of Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come. 15 But the free gift is not like the offense. For if by the one man's offense many died, much more the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abounded to many. 16 And the gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned. For the judgment which came from one offense resulted in condemnation, but the free gift which came from many offenses resulted in justification. 17 For if by the one man's offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.) 18 Therefore, as through one man's offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man's righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life. 19 For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man's obedience many will be made righteous. 20 Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, 21 so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Luke 12:47-48 NKJV

47 "And that servant who knew his master's will, and did not prepare himself or do according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48 "But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.

Romans 6:23 NKJV

23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

There was no death in Eden until humans brought it in by sinning, instead of healing and taming our world. The flood account tells us that all life became irreparably corrupted by sin. We were put here to tame the animals, but instead, we led them by our bad example.
Genesis 1:28

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Genesis 2:15 NKJV

15 Then the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.

Genesis 6:11-12 NKJV

11 The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. 12 So God looked upon the earth, and indeed it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted their way on the earth.

There will be no death in the age to come.
1 Corinthians 15:26 NKJV

26 The last enemy that will be destroyed is death.

Isaiah 25:8 NKJV

8 He will swallow up death forever, And the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces; The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; For the LORD has spoken.

When man left the Ark, we received meat as food and the death-penalty for shedding innocent blood. This came about in order to weed-out the abusive and negligent. Creation is made whole again when its resources are put to use by those who submit to the eternal laws of unity, equality, and love.
Genesis 9:1-6 NKJV

1 So God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth. 2 "And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be on every beast of the earth, on every bird of the air, on all that move on the earth, and on all the fish of the sea. They are given into your hand. 3 "Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. I have given you all things, even as the green herbs. 4 "But you shall not eat flesh with its life, that is, its blood. 5 "Surely for your lifeblood I will demand a reckoning; from the hand of every beast I will require it, and from the hand of man. From the hand of every man's brother I will require the life of man. 6 "Whoever sheds man's blood, By man his blood shall be shed; For in the image of God He made man.

Proverbs 28:8 NKJV

8 One who increases his possessions by usury and extortion Gathers it for him who will pity the poor.

1. "Why hasn't Jesus returned and made things right yet."

God is patient with us. He doesn't want anyone left behind unless its absolutely necessary.
Ezekiel 18:30-32 NKJV

30 "Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways," says the Lord GOD. "Repent, and turn from all your transgressions, so that iniquity will not be your ruin. 31 "Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O house of Israel? 32 "For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies," says the Lord GOD. "Therefore turn and live!"

2 Peter 3:9 NKJV

9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

Matthew 24:29-44 NKJV

29 "Immediately after the tribulation of those days the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. 30 "Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in heaven, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. 31 "And He will send His angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they will gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other. 32 "Now learn this parable from the fig tree: When its branch has already become tender and puts forth leaves, you know that summer is near. 33 "So you also, when you see all these things, know that it is near--at the doors! 34 "Assuredly, I say to you, this generation will by no means pass away till all these things take place. 35 "Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. 36 "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. 37 "But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. 38 "For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, 39 "and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. 40 "Then two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left. 41 "Two women will be grinding at the mill: one will be taken and the other left. 42 "Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming. 43 "But know this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and not allowed his house to be broken into. 44 "Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

Mankind has a fixed time on earth. We will become fit for eternity, or we won't, depending on how well we paid attention to life's lessons.
John 9:4 NKJV

4 "I must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work.

Ecclesiastes 9:10-18 NKJV

10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going. 11 I returned and saw under the sun that--The race is not to the swift, Nor the battle to the strong, Nor bread to the wise, Nor riches to men of understanding, Nor favor to men of skill; But time and chance happen to them all. 12 For man also does not know his time: Like fish taken in a cruel net, Like birds caught in a snare, So the sons of men are snared in an evil time, When it falls suddenly upon them. 13 This wisdom I have also seen under the sun, and it seemed great to me: 14 There was a little city with few men in it; and a great king came against it, besieged it, and built great snares around it. 15 Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city. Yet no one remembered that same poor man. 16 Then I said: "Wisdom is better than strength. Nevertheless the poor man's wisdom is despised, And his words are not heard. 17 Words of the wise, spoken quietly, should be heard Rather than the shout of a ruler of fools. 18 Wisdom is better than weapons of war; But one sinner destroys much good."

Matthew 25:1-13 NKJV

1 "Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 "Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. 3 "Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, 4 "but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. 5 "But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept. 6 "And at midnight a cry was heard: 'Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!' 7 "Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. 8 "And the foolish said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' 9 "But the wise answered, saying, 'No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.' 10 "And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut. 11 "Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, 'Lord, Lord, open to us!' 12 "But he answered and said, 'Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.' 13 "Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.

1. Why hasn't Jesus' teaching done away with suffering?

Sin and suffering are inseparable. Our Teacher has done all He could to bring us into eternity despite our sinful world. He even provided a perfect example for us to follow. Sadly, some still use their free-will to choose sin. We must be able to manage a free-will to be safe to inherit eternity.
Genesis 2:9 NKJV

9 And out of the ground the LORD God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Deuteronomy 30:19 NKJV

19 "I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;

Acts 2:38-40 NKJV

38 Then Peter said to them, "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 "For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call." 40 And with many other words he testified and exhorted them, saying, "Be saved from this perverse generation."

Jesus explained that our response to His teaching should be to do things that promote life.
Matthew 25:40

40 "And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did good to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.'

Proverbs 19:17 NKJV

17 He who has pity on the poor lends to the LORD, and He will pay back what he has given.

What we live and die for proves our commitment to love, unity and equality, or our lack of it.
John 11:7-10 NKJV

7 Then after this He said to the disciples, "Let us go to Judea again." 8 The disciples said to Him, "Rabbi, lately the Jews sought to stone You, and are You going there again?" 9 Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. 10 "But if one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him."

1 Peter 4:12-19 NKJV

12 Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; 13 but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. 14 If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified. 15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people's matters. 16 Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter. 17 For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 Now "If the righteous one is scarcely saved, Where will the ungodly and the sinner appear?" 19 Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.

May God's love guide us.

From the beginning...
Cast

Part 2, Chapter 8

Conferring briefly, Arthur strides across the bridge [1]. Before he gets halfway across, a voice rings out. “HALT. Come no further. We want nothing from you, and have nothing for you. Depart peaceably.” The voice is feminine, with a thick rural Damaran accent, not so dissimilar to Arthur’s.
Arthur comes to a stop. “We come in peace. We just want to know what is going on. We’re on a mission from the Council of Thanes in Ironspur. This is their forge.”
“No dwarves here. It’s ours now. You need know nothing more. Away!”
Arthur withdraws to the group, where suddenly Zander notices that Dillium has disappeared. One thing at a time. “Perhaps if we paid a toll.” Zander suggests.
“We’ll pay a toll to cross the bridge and converse.” Arthur booms.
“How much?”
“How much do you want?”
“Three figures. Leave it on the bridge.”
“We’ll give you a hundred pieces of silver.”
There is no reply. Through the haze of the heat and ash, the outlines of the people on the other side of the chasm appear to be lined up.
“Are you with the dragon?” Novos calls out.
“Of course not! He’s taken our people. Are you?”
“No. He stole our elf!” Zander calls out.
“We just want to look around,” Novos adds. He takes a few steps toward the bridge, but a dagger sails out of the darkness and misses Novos’ foot by … well, several feet.
“Go away!”
The argument goes back and forth. Daggers are thrown until the unknown assailant runs out or gets tired, then crossbow bolts are launched. Novos takes cover behind Zander, who good-naturedly holds his shield out in protection. After several shots, Novos makes out the shape of a shooter above and to his left. Aiming carefully, he fires back with his bow.
“Look, we’re coming across. I’ll give ten gold pieces to anyone who lays down arms and talks.” Novos announces.
“Don’t you dare!” the voice cuts through, though it looks like the shapes of people on the other side of the chasm are less decided. Several low conversations break out, and though nobody can make out the words, the tones range from willing to harsh.
Zander decides to take a position on the bridge. This of course means Novos is a clear target again, though it’s hard to make out anything through the haze and the crossbow bolts miss more frequently than they hit.
***
A pebble rolls across the floor and nudges Dillium’s foot. Looking around, she sees the redheaded young human put his finger to his lips in a universal "don't scream" gesture, then he beckons her over away from the party. Novos has disappeared again, and everyone else is intent on trying to see through the heat waves and ash rising from the river of red gelatinous goop. Zander or Felicity are busy arguing with the voice, so slipping away from the group, Dillium ducks around the corner with the man.
Up close, she sees he has a misshapen face and is slightly stooped. Looking at his eyes, she decides he sees poorly--if at all--from his left eye. His complexion is ruddy in a way that nearly obscures the freckles all over his face and neck, and his shocking red hair seems nearly too bright to be natural. Now that she gets a good look at him, Dillium thinks he might be near his thirtieth year. For all of being a bit hunch-backed, he doesn't seem to have any problem moving around. His low voice speaks to habitual whispering.
"You are of Ilmater? My gran said that a cleric in a horse-hair shirt saved his life after the battle at Goliad Ford [2]. He would give coppers to the monks that came through, and often gave them food. Can I trust you?"
The simple sincerity in his voice, and his look of concern and dread touch Dillium, and she nods. He beckons her further away from the group, but he doesn't seem to have any weapons on him so she follows. Slipping silently back through the rubble of the half-collapsed hall, the pair returns to the cell where the dead are still chained to the wall. He pays them no mind. He does leave the door open a sliver, though. Seating himself on the floor next to a burned-out fire, he speaks.
"My name is Febis. Look, I'm sorry for before. He doesn't like visitors, and I can't just go and tell the Hand that they can't use this place for their hide-out anymore. We only just got here when he showed up. He's not bad, once you get to know him. He sometimes brings me food if he killed too many sheep, and he doesn't come in this part of the cavern because he can't turn around right. Only you can't insult him or he gets very mad, and he sometimes can't control his temper. It really just would be better if you and your friends go."
Too many "he's" and "they's" for her to sort out. It's like Febis assumes she already knows who they all are. “Slow down, and start over,” Dillium says gently. “Who is ‘he’?”
Febis says that ‘he’ is a monstrous red dragon that calls himself The Mighty Flamestrike. He arrived in a blast of wind and a clatter of claws on the stone floor, and he made himself at home in the main hall. He likes the heat from the lava, and sometimes lays down on top of it, sinking slowly into it. During one of the recent earthshakes part of the roof caved in, and Flamestrike took up residence high up in some hollowed-out caves near the ceiling. Febis has never been up there, but Flamestrike sometimes leaves in the evening to go hunting, and returns before dawn.
Febis is a member of the Dread Order of the Ebon Hand, the most dangerous gang of bandits this side of the Assassin's Citadel. What do you mean you've never heard of them? They have been the most feared bandit gang in the country's history. Although, he hastens to add, he's only been with the gang since he left home in Helmsdale this spring. He hated being a farmer and he can't ride a horse [3] (and some of the soldiers made fun of him), so there really isn't anything else for him to do.
The Hand found the entrance to this cavern complex two or three months ago, and they moved in. It makes a great base to bandit from. Cletus says that it was carved out by dwarves. Fatima, the captain of the Hand, has been working on getting the place cleaned up, and is looking to be able to give everyone their own areas in which to live. That was easier before Flamestrike came along. Since his arrival, the Hand have been hiding in terror from the dragon, who sometimes plays with them "like a cat with a mouse", blowing fire down the corridor and making the whole complex shake. Fatima has been trying to get them to attack Flamestrike, but the last time they tried, Willie and Franso were badly burned and pelted with rocks dropping from the ceiling. Father Michael took days to heal them all the way back to health.
Febis himself was the second of the Hand caught by the dragon, but instead of eating him, the dragon talked to him, and made friends with Febis. Now Febis comes and goes as he pleases, but he knows that the dragon's temper is such that he could end up as a snack if he crosses The Mighty Flamestrike.
***
Novos does the thing where he disappears. Zipping across the chasm, he notes that there are nearly a dozen “thugs”, along with some armored war mastiffs. Bedrolls and a cot line one wall, and a makeshift cook stove is in the back corner. An archway leads off into the darkness. The thugs are not particularly ready for battle—they are indifferently armored and have a bevy of non-uniform weapons, but none of them have them raised as if they were ready to use them. There are several debates ongoing, and two of the thugs are wrestling.
Returning to the group, Novos quickly gives a report. Arthur asks Zander to move, and he leads the way across the bridge.
“CEASE!” A ripple flows through the Weave as a spell is cast, and the two wrestlers climb to their feed sheepishly. Before they know it, the entire party is on their side of the chasm, face to face.
“Go AWAY! WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE. You are invading our home!” A crossbow bolt accompanies the demand, but it misses everyone. Without the heat shimmer, Novos can finally make out his assailant through what appears to be an opening above and to the right of the large cave. She is peering out behind a large metal structure with carvings etched on it.
The thugs are still bickering amongst themselves to some extent, but only a few of them tentatively raise their weapons.
Another ripple in the Weave, and the thugs generally calm down, losing some of the edge in their bickering. Unfortunately, nothing calms the shooter, who manages to put a bolt into Novos. Novos shoots back, hitting the woman. In response, the several of the bandits reach out to stop Novos from attacking their captain.
***
“My friends and I are here at the request of the dwarves in Ironspur. They are worried that someone here was attempting to restart the forge, which is… haunted or something? They didn’t get into details. Have you seen it?”
"Forge? I don't know about that, but there is a big iron thingy up near where Fatima beds down. It kinda’ looks like something Jeran the Smith from my village might use. We don't do anything with it, but it's useful to put stuff on when we're eating. I mean, there's no chairs or nothin, but we can stand up and eat. Sometimes we just eat near the campfire, though."
"So, you aren't working the forge, or trying to craft things?" Dillium asks patiently.
"Gerk sometimes uses it to bang the dents of armor pieces, or to try to sharpen swords and stuff, but he doesn't have a hammer, so normally he just uses an iron bar to smack the back of armor piece. Sometimes it works."
Dillium explains that some of the people in Damara are worried about another war with Vaasa (“like the one with the Lich King”), and they are looking for allies who are willing to lend aid. Perhaps the Hand would like to assist?
Febis tells her in his own simple way that most of the men don’t want to be in a war. They’ve seen the soldiers in Helmsdale with their shiny armor and fancy horses, and they don’t have any of that stuff. “Being in a battle sounds dangerous. Besides, that sounds like we’d have to stop banditing, and that’s kinda’ fun sometimes. Maybe some of the guys might want to go legit, but Fatima just wants to keep us safe.”
“You know, the Hand could become an adventuring or mercenary group too. That way you all could be making money by completing different contracts. While it may not be as fun as being a bandit, it’s more sustainable for you all,” Dillium reasons.
"Don't you have to get a paper from the queen to be a mercenary group? And aren't those hard? I heard there was a group that had to fight like a whole lot of orcs once [4]. That's almost like being in a battle."
“Hmm. I guess I could see that, though there may come a time when you have to decide which side you’re on, just like your gran did.” After a pause to collect her thoughts, Dillium continues. She wonders aloud why the dragon likes Febis more than the others, and if there is a way to make everyone happy—to perhaps speak to Flamestike, to free the Hand from his torment, and for them to look over the forge for the dwarves.
"I don't know why he likes me more than the others. Maybe he's just lonely. Maybe it's on account of my hair being the same color as he is. Maybe it's because I don't call him names and stuff. Sometimes he comes out and talks to me about his brothers and how he's going to get his revenge on them all some day. Delfus used to talk to me that way when we lived in Helmsdale. His pa used to beat him when he didn't milk the cow in the morning, or dropped the egg basket. Delfus and I are good friends. He's the one who convinced me to join the Hand."
“What happened with his brothers that makes him want revenge on them? Who are his brothers?” Despite her need to keep on track, Dillium’s curiosity overcomes her.
"Oh, he doesn't like to talk about them. I guess brother stuff? I only have sisters, and they are annoying. Perhaps they called him names, or didn't want to use his whole name. Maybe they fart in the nest. Do dragons have nests? I heard that they lay eggs..."
***
Wordlessly, the party springs into action. There is a ripple in the Weave, and half of the bandits fall to the floor in a deep slumber, their war dogs with them. Arthur strides through the sleeping bodies to one who didn’t go down, and he slashes him from shoulder to hip. Momentarily surprised, the man falls to the floor, lifeless. His dog growls. Zander steps forward to face off against two other bandits. Two quick slashes and they fall to the floor. Novos disappears, then makes his way up to the opening where the crossbow shooter is taking aim at Felicity. She misses. The remaining bandit gestures, the Weave ripples from him, and a bolt of light streaks across the room to smash into Arthur’s back. The dog snaps at Arthur but misses. Novos reappears and stabs the crossbow-wielding woman in the back. Enraged, she pulls out a saber and slashes in vain at Novos. Before Novos can stab her again, Felicity pulls out a wand and fires an arc of electricity at the woman, killing her. The one-sided battle is over.
Quickly, Arthur and Zander bind up the four slumbering bandits and their war dogs. Felicity reaches into her purse and slides some gold into each of their coin pouches.
***
Novos peers around. He’s seen forges before, and this looks something like one, except instead of a standard coal-fired furnace, there is a trickle of red-hot lava, dribbling down a hole in the wall and forming a small rivulet through a makeshift furnace before falling off down the side of the cavern wall and into the lava river below. The forge area is cleaned out. There are pegs on the walls, presumably for tools, but they are bare, as are a pair of stout metal tables. Shrugging, Novos heads down a set of stairs and through a dark hallway. Some distance down, he spies a darker alcove, and in that alcove, a doorway. Pushing open the door, he sees bags, boxes, and barrels. One bag has conveniently fallen over, spilling its contents of coins onto the floor. “Hey! I found something!” He shouts.
***
"He doesn't much like visitors. I don't think he wants to talk to anyone. It's too bad they can't get along. Maybe The Mighty Flamestrike could go out with the Hand and help them find wagons to bandit, and then perhaps he could eat the horses after we bring the wagons back and get all the stuff? I don't think he wants to do that, though. It would be nice if all my friends could get along. Fatima would love to have a real dragon helping. I bet we could bandit like two wagons at a time!"
Dillium responds. "If we could help the Hand find a new place to live, how would they get out without ... Flamestrike—"
Febis interrupts. "The Mighty Flamestrike. He likes you to use his whole name."
"Fine, the mighty Flamestrike--"
"No, no. You're not doing it right. You have to use the whole thing. The Mighty Flamestrike. Here, you try it. The Mighty Flamestrike."
"The Mighty Flamestrike."
"Good! I knew you was smart!" Dillium sighs heavily.
"So, if my other friends and I could find a new place for the Hand to live, and perhaps a job so they could go legit, how would they get out of here without The Mighty Flamestrike eating them?"
"I suppose they could wait until he goes out to hunt, then leave real quick like in the middle of the night. He wouldn't be here to eat them, and if they went far away before dawn he wouldn't get them."
"You keep saying 'they'. Wouldn't you want to go with the Hand?"
"Yeah! I mean, I would be sad that The Mighty Flamestrike wouldn't have any friends left. Maybe he would let me come back and visit him?"
“I don’t really understand why he keeps the Hand here if he doesn’t like them.. but I am sure that he would be happy to have a friend like you visit him if the Hand does leave. It does seem like it would be lonely here in the mountains by himself…” Dillium trails off, waiting on a response.
“I think he lets the Hand stay here for something to do, but he really doesn't keep them here. They are just ascared of him on account of the breathing fire and all.
“I think I would like to come and visit him sometimes. Maybe I could bring him a sheep. He likes sheep."
***
Just as they are finishing tying up the bandits, they begin to wake. “Wha… what happened?” One of them sees Zander puling the dead and bleeding bodies off to the side. “Murderers! You murdered them!” “They killed Willie!” “You Bastards!” “Look, they murdered the Captain!”
“Arthur addresses them. “Hush. You are alive. That is enough. You attacked us, and we responded.”
“You murdered them in cold blood!” one of the braver bandits spits.
“If your captain is now dead, who’s the new captain of your company?” Zander asks.
“uh…..”
“Cletus!” “What? I don’t want—” “Cletus is!” “But I don’t—”
“Fine. Do you give your parole? If so we shall untie you.” Arther towers above the one that responded as Cletus.
“I don’t even have a payroll yet. How do I…” Felicity unties the group. Climbing to their feet, they leave the ropes on the ground. Blood coats the floor from the dead, and Zander’s dragging activity has spread around even more blood.
“Hey! I found something!” shouts Novos. His voice sounds like it comes from the archway to the left. Arthur tells Felicity and Zander to stay with the bandits while he goes to see what is the matter.
***
Dillium pauses for a second.
“Febus… are you by any chance the Mighty Flamestrike?”
"Me? No! He's my friend. He's big and beautiful and scary and eats people. I'm just... me. Besides, he's all big and scaly. I'm not scaly!" He pauses a moment.
"Sometimes I dream about flying, though."
“Ah, sorry. It’s just that the Mighty Flamestrike isn’t the only dragon we’ve encountered in our journey. I know you’ve said plenty of times before that the Mighty Flamestrike doesn’t like visitors and after what happened I understand. I’d like to apologize to him on behalf of my friends.” Dillium takes a deep breath. “They attacked him… do you think he’ll let me try to heal him? Being able to create some form of middle ground between us all would be beneficial, don’t you think? I may be able to convince my party to leave…”
"It's ~T~he Mighty Flamestrike. You have to say his name right if you ever want to talk to him." Febis mutters under his breath, "Man, I thought elfs were supposed to be smart."
"Anyway, they attacked The Mighty Flamestrike? And they're still alive? How many of them got burned up? How can you heal a big giant dragon like that? I thought they had to have an arrow in them or something for you to heal him? If he's hurt he's probably going to be very cross indeed. I don’t know if he will want to talk at all, but I guess we could try..."
“Well, there’s no harm in trying right? Do you think you can try to help me meet The Mighty Flamestrike?”
"There IS harm in trying. If he's mad, he'll just fire us, and fire us good. Or drop us in the hot rocks. He can do that. I could see if he wants to come down, but I don't know if he will."
“If you could please, that would mean a lot to me… I can meet him on my own unless you’d like to join me, but if you’re worried about getting flamed then I don’t blame you. I’d like a chance to right the wrongs that have happened today. Perhaps we should meet him in a room more accessible for him…”
***
Arthur appears in the doorway as Novos looks around the dimly lit room. “Loot! I’m sure this will pay some bills.”
“We’ll need to figure out how to get all this out of here—”
“Ahem.” A voice from behind Arthur. “I’ll have you know that this is the lawfully acquired possessions of the Hand, and are not for you to go carting it all off. I know exactly how much is in here, and I won’t see you take a copper, do you hear! We know our rights!”
Arthur pinches the bridge of his nose. This has the makings of an even longer day.
A couple of the remaining members of the bandits pile into the room. “Hey! Keep your hands off our stuff. It’s ours!”
Arthur turns on his heel and heads back toward the main room, but … something isn’t right. The wall along the corridor is caved in, but there’s something… odd. Climbing up on top of the pile, he notices heat and light coming through a crack. He pulls some rubble away and can clearly see another room beyond.
“Hey, that stuff in there is ours, too!” Cletus says.
***
"Oh, he won't go any further than the main hall. He doesn't want to get stuck, and he can't turn around very well in the smaller rooms." Febis pauses for a moment. "How will you keep from getting fired? He might be very angry."
Dillium pats his arm. “I’ll figure something out.”
"I could go out and call him and see if he will come down, I guess."
“To be completely honest Febus the only thing I have to protect myself from the flames is hope and faith. Is the main hall where the rest of my friends are? I have instinctual knowledge that if they are there then this whole plan won’t work… I really do appreciate you doing this for me. It’s very kind of you.”
"Is instinctual knowledge some fancy elf thing, or a fancy priest thing?”
“Hmm I would say the instinctual knowledge has come from spending nearly every waking moment of my journey so far with roughly the same people… their habits are frighteningly predictable and in some cases, suicidal.”
Febus nods. “Do you need to rest, or uhm... eat a last meal or something?"
Dillium sighs. “While rest and a meal would be great, I fear that time is not our friend.”
***
Pulling enough of the rubble away to fit his bulk through, Arthur scrapes his armor on the rock as he slides down into the next room. This one is very hot, and is dimly lit by a seeping pool of lava in the corner. After a moment, Novos slides down next to him. “Whatcha find?” he asks unnecessarily.
A head pokes up from the lava. Then another. Sensing fresh food, a group of bulky snake-like creatures slither out of the lava pool and make their way over to Arthur and Novos. Soundlessly they attack. Arthur slashes, but is badly burned by the heat given off by the creatures. Novos too tries to slash with his dagger, but the heat is too much. He falls back behind Arthur. Arthur calls out for aid, and with a mighty hack and a movement of the Weave, a tremendous roar of thunder smashes through the snakes, temporarily deafening everyone, including the two bandits who have followed.
“All our stuff.” Cletus intones when he can hear again.
***
“What was that?” Felicity asks in alarm.
“Dunno. Let’s find out,” Zander replies. The two race toward the pile of rubble in the corridor.
***
Febis stands. "If you're sure I can't talk you out of it..." He opens the door and steps through it.
Suddenly a huge thunder blast echoes through the cavern. It is definitely not a cave-in, or the clash of rock on ... anything, but rather the sound of a huge lightning strike hitting nearby. The sound is briefly deafening. It sounds like it came from the cavern where the Hand was last seen, rather than the direction of the main hall. There's the sound of distant yelling from the same direction.
Febis is startled. He looks off in the direction of the party (and his friends). "Oh, that's not good." Moments later, there is a roar from the direction of the main hall. "Very not good."
“Febis I believe you and I share the very same sentiment there- Uhhh change of plans. Let’s make sure our friends here don’t kill each other. Stay close to me, sound good?”
***
The eight humans look around. Apart from the lava pool and the very hot corpses of the snake creatures (everyone moves away from them), the room contains what Arthur, Novos and Zander identify as grave goods. They are similar to the urns, carvings, and paintings in the tomb they invaded in Ironspur. In fact, there is a fancy dwarven sarcophagus and an ornate hammer atop. Across is the carved family tree that stretches for nearly a thousand years, ending nearly three centuries before (in the dwarven calendar). Taking it all in, Arthur’s eye catches on some oddity. A misalignment of patterns on one wall. “Secret door,” he says. Novos checks quickly for traps, then pushes open the door.
Inside, two carved stone dwarves shamble to life. Raising their bronze axes, they silently stalk toward Novos and Arthur as Zander and Felicity look on in horror.
***
Grabbing Febis by the hand, Dillium quickly but cautiously makes her way back down the corridor. She passes through the outer chamber with the well that leads down to lava, and sees the rickety wooden bridge over the chasm that is still producing heat haze and ash. Nobody is visible on the other side. Quickly she slips across the bridge and into chaos.
Blood covers the floor. The dead bodies of several of the Hand, along with their war mastiffs, are pushed over to one side. Several ropes cut into ten or twelve foot lengths lie on the floor. Looking around, she sees a large room. A campfire and makeshift cooking stove are in the far corner. Bedrolls and a cot line one wall. There's what appears to be some sort of shrine along the back wall. An archway on the opposite wall leads off into darkness.
"DELFUS! What happened?" Febis runs over to the corpse of his childhood friend, slashed from shoulder to hip by a single broad stroke. The last of his blood pools on the floor, but the blood strewn across the floor makes it very much appear that he and the others were dragged from another part of the room. "And Gerk! And Father Michael!" Tears pour down Febis' face as he comes to grips with the loss of his only (human) friends, apparently savagely butchered. Sitting down on the cold floor oblivious to the standing blood, Febis cradles the lifeless head of his friend.
Meanwhile, the muffled sounds of battle are heard through the open archway.
"I thought you were going to be my friend," Febis cries to Dillium bitterly.
Dillium quickly checks the bodies. All have been dead for ten or fifteen minutes, beyond a simple revival. Dillium leaves Febis to his grief and dashes toward the open archway. On the other side is a moderately-sized room with rubble strewn around. It appears that one wall has collapsed. There is a hole at the top where some of the rubble has been pushed away, leaving a man-sized space to squeeze under the lintel of a hidden doorway. There is a dim red light (so, more lava), and voices. Dillium hears the sound of metal on stone and the grunts of men in battle. Scampering lightly up the pile of loose stones and rubble, she scootches through the hole at the top, sliding down the other side. There she finds several unknown people who are watching Arthur, Zander, and Novos in battle. As she arrives, the last of some sort of animated stone statues crumble to pebbles. Arthur's armor is scorched down one side, and he limps slightly. Novos is barely on his feet, and as Dillium arrives, he sinks to his knees, panting. Zander sheathes his sword, and Felicity puts away a wand. Three grubby men and what might charitably be called a woman (under many layers of dirt and grime) stand around, unarmed.
"Now you remember, all this is the lawful property of our company. You don't go gettin light fingers now," says one of the Hand in the most "southern drawl" Damaran accent ever.

End of Chapter 8

[1] Based very loosely on Fire Forge Caves by Dungeon Baker in FiveE magazine https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/367470/fivee-magazine-august-2021
[2] https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Ford_of_Goliad
[3] The duke has a company of cavalry barracked just outside Helmsdale.
[4] Probably too far away for it to have been the party, back when they were called Dragon Force in Chapter 32. On the other hand, maybe it was?

Three important questions many Christians have.
If God is good:

1. Why does life depend on death to continue
2. Why hasn't Jesus returned and made things right yet
3. Why hasn't Jesus' teaching done away with suffering

Life is a classroom to teach us how to be worthy of eternity. Eden represents life in its perfect, heavenly state. God created us in His image to teach us to be like Himself. Unity, equality, and love are distinct, but inseparable components of God. We must learn to value them to be worthy of eternal life.
We had everything we needed in Eden to create heaven on earth. We could have learned every lesson by interacting with God and Creation. The animals' traits teach us about character. The plants teach us value. The seasons teach us preparation and timing. Every lesson shows that patience and love give the greatest benefit. Healthy limits on these avoid their abuse.
The unity of Adam and Eve shows us why we must be like God to fulfill our purpose. (The other big lesson of "family" is to support the weak, Job 29:11-17, Acts 4:32-35) Adam is made in God's image. God gives Adam His own breath = spirit. (John 4:24) Adam has a surplus without a deficit to fill. This is the state God / Love is in without a Creation to receive His love. Adam sees his need when he cannot find a worthy partner among the animals. (Genesis 2:20) From his own body, God fashions a woman. Eve, was with Adam from the beginning, but not in a form that truly completed him. She is given back to him and they return to being one. (Genesis 2:23-24) We "leave and cleave" because this sacred relationship is the most important lesson we need to get before time runs out. We can learn to be one in the most joyful and painless way, if we keep marriage sacred and sinless.
Sin divides us. Every lesson on earth teaches us to distinguish between what brings life or death. All sin eventually brings death. We change our classroom every time we bring sin/death into it. We have to deal with the consequences as part of our lessons. The curses on the First Family, are lessons that teach what a god must patiently endure when his creation deviates from eternal behavior. (Psalm 82:6, Matthew 5:43-45, John 10:27-38)

• Adam (representing God)
• works the ground (earth representing Adam)
• to produce food (satisfaction for God's emptiness without a safe target for His love.)
• but it only produces thorns (Adam's selfish, destructive behavior)

This pattern continues throughout history; for example, we didn't have a "death-penalty" until we needed it to stop sin from spreading to all life. Once we realized, "an eye for an eye" would make the whole world blind, we were ready for the Healer, Jesus Messiah.
The questions:

1. "If God is good, why does life depend on death to survive?"

Death is a consequence of being unable or unwilling to sustain life. Sin is willful deviation from unity/equality/love. Sin leads to death of the innocent. It eventually will lead to the death of everything. It is stopped by the correction and/or punishment of the deviant death-bringer. (The difference is between willful sin and ignorant sin. Numbers 15:28-31, Romans 5:12-21, Luke 12:47-48, Romans 6:23)
The death-penalty is like surgery. It's a last-resort treatment to keep sin from spreading to healthy, life-supporting members of creation. There was no death in Eden until humans brought it in by sinning, instead of healing our world. (Genesis 1:28, Genesis 2:15) The flood account tells us that all life was corrupted by sin. It's why God resorted to destroying every land animal that didn't enter the Ark. (Genesis 6:11-12)
When man left the Ark, we received meat as food and the death-penalty for shedding innocent blood. This came about in order to weed-out the abusive and negligent. (I say "we" because we are all still one, as long as sin doesn't separate us.) Removing the sinful, and cleaning up after sin is part of sustaining life now. (Genesis 9:1-6) Creation is made whole again when its resources are put to use by those who submit to eternal laws, (Unity, equality, love. Proverbs 28:8) Evolution denies the Biblical account, so please know I don't judge anyone for believing our secular school teachers. Evolution can't account for things like this: "Deer saves rabbit from hawk." There will be no death in the age to come. (1 Corinthians 15:26, Isaiah 25:8)

1. "Why hasn't Jesus returned and made things right yet."

God is being patient with us. He doesn't want anyone that could be saved to be left behind. (Ezekiel 18:30-32, 2 Peter 3:9, Matthew 24:29-44) We have time limits on our lessons. Like babes in the womb, mankind has a fixed time in this age. We will become fit for eternity or we won't, depending on what we spent our lives becoming. We are all one. Each person's experience serves as a witness to what is, or isn't life-sustaining. (Ecclesiastes 9:10, John 9:4) We're wise to live by eternal lessons for the sake of ourselves and those connected to us. (Ecclesiastes 9:11-18, Matthew 25:1-13)

1. Why hasn't Jesus' teaching done away with suffering?

Sin creates suffering for everyone. That's why it's so evil. We have a free-will to choose death or life. (Genesis 2:9, Deuteronomy 30:19, Acts 2:38-40) Jesus taught us to do things that promote life, but we disobey Him. (Matthew 25:40, Proverbs 19:17) What we live and die to accomplish proves our devotion to love, unity and equality, or our lack of it. (John 11:7-10, 1 Peter 4:12-19)
Scripture references:
Life is a classroom meant to teach us how to be worthy of eternity.
Job 29:11-17 NKJV

11 When the ear heard, then it blessed me, And when the eye saw, then it approved me; 12 Because I delivered the poor who cried out, The fatherless and the one who had no helper. 13 The blessing of a perishing man came upon me, And I caused the widow's heart to sing for joy. 14 I put on righteousness, and it clothed me; My justice was like a robe and a turban. 15 I was eyes to the blind, And I was feet to the lame. 16 I was a father to the poor, And I searched out the case that I did not know. 17 I broke the fangs of the wicked, And plucked the victim from his teeth.

Acts 4:32-35 NKJV

32 Now the multitude of those who believed were of one heart and one soul; neither did anyone say that any of the things he possessed was his own, but they had all things in common. 33 And with great power the apostles gave witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And great grace was upon them all. 34 Nor was there anyone among them who lacked; for all who were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the proceeds of the things that were sold, 35 and laid them at the apostles' feet; and they distributed to each as anyone had need.

The first family's form and situation parallel spiritual truths about God.
John 4:24 NKJV

24 "God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth."

Genesis 2:20-24 NKJV

20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Every lesson on earth teaches us to distinguish between what brings life or death, in order to become like God. He is the source and example of unity, equality and love.
Psalm 82:6 NKJV

6 I said, "You are gods, And all of you are children of the Most High.

Matthew 5:43-45 NKJV

43 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 "that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

John 10:27-38 NKJV

27 "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 28 "And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 29 "My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father's hand. 30 "I and My Father are one." 31 Then the Jews took up stones again to stone Him. 32 Jesus answered them, "Many good works I have shown you from My Father. For which of those works do you stone Me?" 33 The Jews answered Him, saying, "For a good work we do not stone You, but for blasphemy, and because You, being a Man, make Yourself God." 34 Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your law, 'I said, "You are gods" '? 35 "If He called them gods, to whom the word of God came (and the Scripture cannot be broken), 36 "do you say of Him whom the Father sanctified and sent into the world, 'You are blaspheming,' because I said, 'I am the Son of God'? 37 "If I do not do the works of My Father, do not believe Me; 38 "but if I do, though you do not believe Me, believe the works, that you may know and believe that the Father is in Me, and I in Him."

The questions:

1. "If God is good, why does life depend on death to survive?"

Death comes from being unable or unwilling to sustain life. Sin brings death when those who could sustain life abuse, neglect or don't understand their duties. We all have a conscience. We know we owe our lives to someone who believed in supporting the weak, but some of us listen to our flesh anyway.
Numbers 15:28-31 NKJV

28 'So the priest shall make atonement for the person who sins unintentionally, when he sins unintentionally before the LORD, to make atonement for him; and it shall be forgiven him. 29 'You shall have one law for him who sins unintentionally, for him who is native-born among the children of Israel and for the stranger who dwells among them. 30 'But the person who does anything presumptuously, whether he is native-born or a stranger, that one brings reproach on the LORD, and he shall be cut off from among his people. 31 'Because he has despised the word of the LORD, and has broken His commandment, that person shall be completely cut off; his guilt shall be upon him.' "

Romans 5:12-21 NKJV

12 Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned-- 13 (For until the law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law. 14 Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who had not sinned according to the likeness of the transgression of Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come. 15 But the free gift is not like the offense. For if by the one man's offense many died, much more the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abounded to many. 16 And the gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned. For the judgment which came from one offense resulted in condemnation, but the free gift which came from many offenses resulted in justification. 17 For if by the one man's offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.) 18 Therefore, as through one man's offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man's righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life. 19 For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man's obedience many will be made righteous. 20 Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, 21 so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Luke 12:47-48 NKJV

47 "And that servant who knew his master's will, and did not prepare himself or do according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48 "But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.

Romans 6:23 NKJV

23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

There was no death in Eden until humans brought it in by sinning, instead of healing and taming our world. The flood account tells us that all life became irreparably corrupted by sin. We were put here to tame the animals, but instead, we led them by our bad example.
Genesis 1:28

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Genesis 2:15 NKJV

15 Then the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.

Genesis 6:11-12 NKJV

11 The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. 12 So God looked upon the earth, and indeed it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted their way on the earth.

There will be no death in the age to come.
1 Corinthians 15:26 NKJV

26 The last enemy that will be destroyed is death.

Isaiah 25:8 NKJV

8 He will swallow up death forever, And the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces; The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; For the LORD has spoken.

When man left the Ark, we received meat as food and the death-penalty for shedding innocent blood. This came about in order to weed-out the abusive and negligent. Creation is made whole again when its resources are put to use by those who submit to the eternal laws of unity, equality, and love.
Genesis 9:1-6 NKJV

1 So God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth. 2 "And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be on every beast of the earth, on every bird of the air, on all that move on the earth, and on all the fish of the sea. They are given into your hand. 3 "Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. I have given you all things, even as the green herbs. 4 "But you shall not eat flesh with its life, that is, its blood. 5 "Surely for your lifeblood I will demand a reckoning; from the hand of every beast I will require it, and from the hand of man. From the hand of every man's brother I will require the life of man. 6 "Whoever sheds man's blood, By man his blood shall be shed; For in the image of God He made man.

Proverbs 28:8 NKJV

8 One who increases his possessions by usury and extortion Gathers it for him who will pity the poor.

1. "Why hasn't Jesus returned and made things right yet."

God is patient with us. He doesn't want anyone left behind unless its absolutely necessary.
Ezekiel 18:30-32 NKJV

30 "Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways," says the Lord GOD. "Repent, and turn from all your transgressions, so that iniquity will not be your ruin. 31 "Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O house of Israel? 32 "For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies," says the Lord GOD. "Therefore turn and live!"

2 Peter 3:9 NKJV

9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

Matthew 24:29-44 NKJV

29 "Immediately after the tribulation of those days the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. 30 "Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in heaven, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. 31 "And He will send His angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they will gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other. 32 "Now learn this parable from the fig tree: When its branch has already become tender and puts forth leaves, you know that summer is near. 33 "So you also, when you see all these things, know that it is near--at the doors! 34 "Assuredly, I say to you, this generation will by no means pass away till all these things take place. 35 "Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. 36 "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. 37 "But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. 38 "For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, 39 "and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. 40 "Then two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left. 41 "Two women will be grinding at the mill: one will be taken and the other left. 42 "Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming. 43 "But know this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and not allowed his house to be broken into. 44 "Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

Mankind has a fixed time on earth. We will become fit for eternity, or we won't, depending on how well we paid attention to life's lessons.
John 9:4 NKJV

4 "I must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work.

Ecclesiastes 9:10-18 NKJV

10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going. 11 I returned and saw under the sun that--The race is not to the swift, Nor the battle to the strong, Nor bread to the wise, Nor riches to men of understanding, Nor favor to men of skill; But time and chance happen to them all. 12 For man also does not know his time: Like fish taken in a cruel net, Like birds caught in a snare, So the sons of men are snared in an evil time, When it falls suddenly upon them. 13 This wisdom I have also seen under the sun, and it seemed great to me: 14 There was a little city with few men in it; and a great king came against it, besieged it, and built great snares around it. 15 Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city. Yet no one remembered that same poor man. 16 Then I said: "Wisdom is better than strength. Nevertheless the poor man's wisdom is despised, And his words are not heard. 17 Words of the wise, spoken quietly, should be heard Rather than the shout of a ruler of fools. 18 Wisdom is better than weapons of war; But one sinner destroys much good."

Matthew 25:1-13 NKJV

1 "Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 "Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. 3 "Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, 4 "but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. 5 "But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept. 6 "And at midnight a cry was heard: 'Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!' 7 "Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. 8 "And the foolish said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' 9 "But the wise answered, saying, 'No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.' 10 "And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut. 11 "Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, 'Lord, Lord, open to us!' 12 "But he answered and said, 'Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.' 13 "Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.

1. Why hasn't Jesus' teaching done away with suffering?

Sin and suffering are inseparable. Our Teacher has done all He could to bring us into eternity despite our sinful world. He even provided a perfect example for us to follow. Sadly, some still use their free-will to choose sin. We must be able to manage a free-will to be safe to inherit eternity.
Genesis 2:9 NKJV

9 And out of the ground the LORD God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Deuteronomy 30:19 NKJV

19 "I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;

Acts 2:38-40 NKJV

38 Then Peter said to them, "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 "For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call." 40 And with many other words he testified and exhorted them, saying, "Be saved from this perverse generation."

Jesus explained that our response to His teaching should be to do things that promote life.
Matthew 25:40

40 "And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did good to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.'

Proverbs 19:17 NKJV

17 He who has pity on the poor lends to the LORD, and He will pay back what he has given.

What we live and die for proves our commitment to love, unity and equality, or our lack of it.
John 11:7-10 NKJV

7 Then after this He said to the disciples, "Let us go to Judea again." 8 The disciples said to Him, "Rabbi, lately the Jews sought to stone You, and are You going there again?" 9 Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. 10 "But if one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him."

1 Peter 4:12-19 NKJV

12 Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; 13 but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. 14 If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified. 15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people's matters. 16 Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter. 17 For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 Now "If the righteous one is scarcely saved, Where will the ungodly and the sinner appear?" 19 Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.

It didn't dawn on me until after this was finished that evolutionists may not be able to take much comfort from it. Let me know if God's shocking ability to write parables into history and nature made an impact on you. It's things like this that made me question my education. Peace.

Chapter One
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-Rooftop of the White Flame Factory-
Grigory smiled nervously at his men as they lounged on the rooftop patio. As the sun sank lower, he was happy to see them relax after the day's tensions. He’d wanted to give them their imps when they first arrived, or after the demonstration, but they seemed a little too skittish. Their reactions were causing him to doubt his strategy. If his most loyal supporters were repelled by them, wider acceptance was going to be a non-trivial hurdle. He’d been working on an improved version of the imps for months, but making them less threatening, or light forbid, ‘cute’, seemed deeply at odds with his plans. He hoped time might be the missing ingredient. Once they get a bit more familiar with them, they’ll come around. The imps were really nothing for them to fear.
The demonologist sat alone, observing how his men were dealing with the news. He was deep in thought, adjusting his plans and ruminating on his concerns. Was he forcing them to do things they weren’t comfortable with? The basis of his entire plan was that the whole world was to benefit from the imps, so it had to start somewhere, or he might as well give up. They seemed to be taking it as well as he could have hoped.
Catching a wisp of savoury smells, he thought it was scarcely fair to relax while Stanisk was busy in the kitchen. He rose to see if he could lend a hand with dinner. During their overland trek to the capital months ago, it was clear that Stanisk was a superlative cook, but Grigory was a dexterous helper. Much of what he knew about surgical techniques had been picked up preparing meals.
Grigory arrived at the great hall that served as the eating area. In the centre of the chamber, two long tables stretched across the room, capable of seating fifty, though only four simple chairs he had crafted a few weeks ago were present. His men had yet to grasp the potential of the imps' labour; instead of proper seating, they had improvised with crates and timbers haphazardly arranged around the tables. Near one table, a jute sack of potatoes lay abandoned on the floor, possibly mistaken for a makeshift seat. Grigory hoped they'd be eating the potatoes, not sitting on them.
Separated from the hall by a low half-wall, the kitchen bustled with activity. Stanisk sat on the thick timber counter, a casual sentinel over dinner’s preparations, while Jourgun and Klive stood nearby, deep in conversation with their commander.
Stanisk’s five imps, in their fancy clothes, dashed around the kitchen. Under his expert guidance they were preparing a grand feast. One was peeling potatoes, another stirred a great bubbling pot, while two were doing dishes.
“Sir, did you know that Stanisk’s imps have names? And fancy clothes! Can I have one like his?” Klive blurted when he saw his employer. “Uh, as it pleases milord, of course.”
“Plus mine bow when they bring us beers! They don't do that fresh out of hell!” Stanisk's toothy smile implied he might have been bowed at by imps a half dozen times already.
Grigory tilted his head and blinked for a second.
Surely a bit of clothes can’t have that much of an impact on their acceptance?
“Oh, Of course! Certainly!” he paused again. “Feel free to ask Stanisk for tips on how he made his.” Observing the bustling activity, “It looks like dinner is well in hand?” The kitchen was huge, far larger than the one at Planed Pine Peak Inn. A half dozen dishes simmered or baked, their aromas — exotic spices, rich gravies, and roasted meats filled the expansive space.
Stanisk replied without glancing away from the imps handling the tasks. “Well in hand, boss. Take ‘er easy tonight!” The imps' movements were quick and fluid, their antics distractingly comical at times. Grigory watched, smiling, as one imp hugged a yam to its chest that likely weighed more than it did, and made its way along the countertop from the vegetable sack to the cutting board. Each step was an exaggerated sway, the creature was badly top-heavy and teetering.
With effort he pulled his focus back, “Capital! I’ve a matter to attend to! Smells great already!”
Grigory went into the factory proper to whip up enough chairs for everyone. Simple wooden ones for now, but with cushions. Cushions were quick enough to make and he had a few cart loads of wool and woollen fabrics. He watched his imps work, glad he could share them with his whole team now. Obviously it made everything a bit riskier, but it was worth it. One of his concerns was that he’d been overlooking opportunities and uses. He was bound by only being able to think his own thoughts, so he was excited to see what non-demonologists would think of.
They carved and joined the pine chairs with their normal speed and accuracy, but watching them sew was its own reward. The imps wielded needles like longswords in their tiny hands, the points moving too fast to see clearly. They stacked up the plain cushions in a neat pile at the end of their low workbench.
He also didn’t have any utensils, placemats, serving spoons nor trivets either, since this was their first proper meal here. He commanded the imps to make those as well, and carry them like a row of ants from the workshop to the dining hall. The demonologist walked around the table, surveying his work. With a minor gesture of flame he lit the lamps, and frowned at the beige-grey of undyed wool of the chair cushions.
He pulled the chairs out, and one at a time enchanted the cushions to bright, cheerful colours. He was going to make them all company purple, but thought better of it. Enchanting colours was a fun spell to cast, because the act of changing its colour also unravelled enchantment as it went. Much like building and knocking over houses of cards, the end effect was a mundane unenchanted object, but in whatever colour he’d chosen. Having done the spell countless times for entire days to prepare for the midsummer tourney, he didn’t even have to check his notes for any of the hues.
Satisfied with his work, though slightly frustrated that his first and last red cushions weren’t quite the same shade, he sat down. He pulled a notebook out of his satchel and started making notes on his ideas for some improvements, mostly for his own use, but some to the things he’d be soon selling. Lost in his own world, he had no idea how much time had passed when Ros and Taritha joined him at the table.
“Good evening, milord,” Ros said deferentially.
The young herbalist elbowed him, “Come on, he had one rule! He was writing!”
“Oh! Terribly sorry, sir!” Ros stammered.
“Not at all, I was basically doodling. How’s your evening going, is everything to your liking?” Grigory closed his notebook and put it away.
“Amazing milord, These rooms are huge! They're bigger than some of the houses I was looking at!” Taritha said.
“Of course! No one wants to live in dingy cells! Glad to hear! It’s easy to make a place bigger when you are building fresh. Let me know if you find anything that needs fixing, our builders are still in town working on the harbour fortress now, but I can have them send someone if there is anything amiss!”
“I don’t reckon neither of us knew palaces this nice existed anywhere, milord!” Ros said with a shrug. “We might not be the best eyes for finding faults!”
“Heh! This is just the rustic first stage! Don’t worry about its crudeness for now, we’ll get there over time!” the demonologist promised, patting his satchel where the notebook of ideas was. His confidence was both unshakeable and unnecessary.
“Not to question your plans, but there are a lot more rooms than people. Are we expecting company? Are we hiring?” Taritha asked. Her eyebrows twitched slightly, having just questioned his plan for the first time.
“Big plans indeed! So that empty stretch east of the main building? That’s also part of our land grant. In a while we’ll be building a barracks there for our troops, while senior officers will stay in the main factory. That’s also why Stanisk will be taking a much more active role with civil defence. It’s central to our plan to secure the town, and by extension our own safety.”
“Our troops? Like us?” Jourgun asked, having joined them at the long table.
“Maybe? Probably not? We’ll see. The plan is to extensively recruit as we can afford it, since the pirate raid was just the beginning. We have something of incredible value, in the form of me, the imps and the factory itself. Many violent people feel they should possess every valuable thing, so we must be vigilant. Not to worry though! That’s just us planning for the worst. In reality, nothing like that will likely happen. Just by being well defended we’ll scare off the greedy.”
“Ah, like why it's dangerous for a beggar to wear a silk robe!” Rikad added as he joined them, along with a few others. The smells from the kitchen were intoxicatingly rich now, as Stanisk and Klive used the imps to finish and plate the meal.
“Just so, a lord can only have what he can defend, and because the first phases of my plan require a certain level of material wealth, I’ll need extensive defences,” Grigory explained as diplomatically as he could.
“The Empire itself will fear our might, milord!” Ros said excitedly.
“Nah, it won’t. That’s a dangerous thought. The Imperial army’s smallest deployable force is a legion, near enough to five thousand men. Even if we hit every hiring and training target, we’se not going to be in the business of fightin’ wars. Just enough to make us a spiky nut. The sort not worth chompin’,’” Stanisk called over from the kitchen.
“Oh,” Ros said, shrinking back into his seat.
“That’s more than all the men in the whole town!” Taritha lamented.
“Yeah, that’s why lil fishing villages don’t win wars. A legion is five thousand infantry with warships, supplies, siege cohorts, and command companies. If’n it’s a real fight, then they might deploy all ten Imperial legions. Then start raising more if’n they’re losing. We ain’t never gonna try to fight that. No nation in the world has ever picked that fight and won.”
To counter the grim tone settling over his celebratory dinner, Grigory chimed in with a reassuring smile, “We’re loyal Hyruxian subjects, and the legions protect us. We pay taxes in full, we’re on the right side of all this. We just want a bit of security against more, uh, regional actors. Besides, a large well equipped force lends our diplomacy weight we wouldn’t otherwise have.”
Now that the table was filling up and his men looked satisfied with his answers, he raised his voice to the kitchen, “How’s it going in there?”
“Good! I bought a deer from one of the hunters this morning, and it turned out just right!” Stanisk replied, personally putting the finishing touches on his creation. Aethlina moved across the kitchen to watch Stanisk work, making Grigory do a double take. He hadn’t realised she was even in the building.
“Oh! Capital! Everyone in the entire company is here now! Even better!” Grigory said, motioning Aethlina to sit by him. He was glad he’d made the full number of chairs!
Stanisk and Klive brought out plates heaped with slices of braised venison, steamed tubers and sautéed onions. Tubs of butter, bowls of gravy, and finally a heaping basket of fresh buns followed. Stanisk took his seat and, smiling with pride, “What’re you helpless kittens lookin’ at? Never seen dinner ‘afore? Dig in!”
The feast was a perfect end to a troubling day, and even though the conversation died down as they ate, Grigory observed every single one of his hirelings intently, relieved to see not a single one seemed put off by a meal made by demons. Catching Stanisk’s eye, he made an empty cup gesture.
“Imps! Bring us all some drinks! Wine, beer and water!” Stanisk shouted to his imps. With speed and efficiency, the little demons filled clay cups and brought everyone three drinks, exactly as ordered.
“Ah, dammit, I meant—It’s fine. Drink what you want and I’ll just dump the rest!” The chief of security’s good humour faded for an instant before returning twice as bright.
“No, I love having three drinks! And the water and beer are cold! In the summer! The gods themselves envy me!” Rikad declared.
“Uh oh! It looks like Mage Thippily made imps, but the imps made the real monster!” Kedril retorted, gesturing at Rikad holding three cups between his hands, rotating them to drink out of each, while spilling beer all over his own arm.
Their high spirits encouraged Grigory. He’d worried they would be morose and frightened tonight, after making them to live in what could be described as a hive of demons. Joking about the imps was beyond his expectations, so he smiled without speaking, sipping his red wine. Not his cherished Malaentian Red, but a nice varietal from the mainland he’d recently imported a few cases of. Once the plates were empty, Stanisk had the imps clear the table and start washing up while everyone remained seated at the long pine table, bellies full to bursting.
“That was spectacular Stanisk! Thank you!” Grigory offered, and everyone else chimed in a breath later.
“Nothing like a lifetime of bland ration bars for months to really spark an interest in what good food ought to be! I’m glad ya’se liked it,” the big veteran said dismissively.
“How is everyone finding their new accommodations? I know I don’t have all the furniture done just yet, but is everyone good for tonight?” Grigory asked, ever the eager host.
The men nodded and looked at each other. Complaining was frowned upon and nothing here was remotely a hardship.
“Capital! Glad to hear it, and by all means bring it to my attention if your needs are unmet!” Grigory sat still and everyone kept looking at him.
Now’s as good a time as any. It’s not even a surprise, I think I mentioned it a few times already.
“Ahem! So! I’d like to present each of you with your own imps! Some ground rules though; there may be people that aren’t ready for this style of magic, so I ask that you don’t mention anything about them anywhere outside of the factory. Or even imply there are any magical creatures, just that things get made here?”
He waited until they all at least nodded.
“Alright! Here you go, I have one for everyone! The imps are identical, so don’t worry about which ones you get. Um. Good luck?” With a shrug he reached down beside his chair and from a leather case he pulled a series of carved wooden boxes, and passed them out to everyone sitting at the table.
***
With a muted clatter, Taritha watched as the small dark boxes were distributed. She wasn’t sure if there was one for her, being fairly new to the company. She wasn’t sure how she felt; owning demons seemed like a big step, but the ancient urge to possess something nice or powerful was one she wasn’t immune to. Her heart leapt as a heavy box slid in front of her.
With trepidation, she touched it with one finger; it appeared to be regular wood, perhaps stained oak. The box was small and rectangular, quite thin, and she held it easily in one hand. It was narrow enough to fit comfortably between her thumb and fingers, its weight noticeable but not oppressive. She had expected dread, palpable evil, or something, but it just felt a bit heavy. Turning it over, she saw no visible clasps or hinges. The outside was covered in the flawless ornate carvings she was starting to grow familiar with. This time, the carvings depicted joyful industrial scenes—strong men swinging square hammers, smoke stacks, and laden ships and carts. The central image on each side was gilded with gold leaf, making it strikingly dignified.
Ignoring the excitement and increasing movement around her, she felt as if she were in her own universe. She slowly pulled on the lid, finding it opened on tiny hidden hinges, revealing three ebony totems inside. They were the size and shape of a fairytale wand, resting on a bed of lush green velvet, held in place by a broad ribbon tied in a perfect bow.
Even without considering the priceless nature of the artefacts, she was impressed, almost distracted, by the quality of the presentation. He didn’t have to go to such lengths; she’d expected them to be simply handed to her.
She slid one of the totems out without undoing the bow. It was cool and heavy but otherwise seemed normal. She could see layers of impossibly fine carving, this time gilded with silver. She could sense the potent magic in the object, but it felt strange. She’d examined other enchanted items before, and their enchantments were all transcendently beautiful in a complex and technical way. This was so dense it felt like nothing. Or perhaps everything? She wasn’t sure, but it wasn’t at all like the other objects. Stilling herself and trying to puzzle out its secrets brought her no closer to any revelation. She shook her head and resolved to investigate further in private. She returned the totem to its place in the box and gently closed it.
Only now did she notice the table was thick with imps, more than twenty darting and leaping energetically. Her colleagues had summoned theirs and were already giving orders.
“You two, throw the third imp as high as you can!”
“Merp!”
“All of you, cross the table as fast as you can, but walk on your hands!”
“Merp!”
“Duel with these forks!”
“Merp! Merp!”
The men were laughing and pointing between shouting out fresh orders. All the commands were pointless and frivolous, making Taritha powerfully uncomfortable. These were forces of nature, extraplanar beings of unimaginable power, and they were being made to sprint into empty mugs to see how far the mug would fly!?
She shot a questioning look to the master demonologist to gauge his reaction. He was smiling and complimenting their creativity, so maybe she was overreacting? Still, she had no interest in wasting them on silly games. Emergencies only. Or at least serious concerns only. Not for dodging knotted linen napkins, that’s for sure!
With the burden of responsibility successfully dodged, she was free to watch everyone else’s fun. The cacophony of excitement was so infectious that she found herself giggling and pointing at them racing as makeshift horses, with an imp bent over holding the tiny waist of the imp in front of him, while a third one sat atop as a rider. They were so silly looking and energetic.
“You’re sure this doesn’t hurt or anger them?” Taritha asked.
“Oh my no, it’s not like that at all. They have minds, but lack awareness, or awareness of their own mind I guess? It’s fine! They are just made out of the same stuff as demons, but not actually demonic.” The mage stood up and stretched. “They are remarkably durable, it’s unlikely anything short of silvered steel will harm them. I, on the other hand, am at risk of being badly over-tired already! I trust you will be okay, left on your own! I’ll see you in the morning!”
“I’se properly tired too, but if you want, let's pop into the factory and I’ll show you how to get them to make their own clothes. It’s just tellin’ ‘em to do that, so you’se might not need too much hand holding!” Stanisk pushed himself away from the long table, and motioned for them to follow him.
They went into the cavernous factory, just across the hallway. What was an impressive and huge room in the daylight was now an infinite blackness, like a starless night. A few men had grabbed leviathan-oil lamps off the table, and they huddled in a small circle of warm, safe light. They gathered around a long low table, and Stanisk laid out a few bolts of fabric. The fine weaves were familiar to Taritha; they were the same as those used in the clothes she’d been getting from the company.
“It’s simple enough,” Stanisk said as he put a heavy leather bag of tools on the table. “Just say what you want, with as much or as little detail, and they’ll just make that.”
“Imps, make a suit of legion plate armour, imp-sized, out of shoe leather!” Rikad said with glee.
“Merp!” replied several at once, as they began cutting and forming the leather without hesitation. The imps even used grey wool for the under-mail parts, and tiny flares of hellfire to warp the leather into the right shapes. Soon, a tiny suit of black armour lay on the table, looking like what an imperial heavy infantryman would wear, but distorted to the proportions of the gawky imps.
“I dub thee, Imperial commander, Real Imp. Don thy armour!” Rikad ordered. “Do they remember their names?” he asked over his shoulder to Stanisk.
“Oh yeah, they’re proper sharp!” he confirmed.
“Create an imp-sized lord's robe with a sash of office! When it is done, you shall be known as D’Imp Lomat! I might need a minute to think of the last one though…” Rikad said to everyone watching his imps.
Reluctantly, Taritha opened the box and invoked her three imps. She looked at them closely; as far as she could tell, they were perfectly interchangeable with every other imp.
Looking over the fabrics, she chose a striking blue, a deep red, and a golden yellow. “Imps! Make imp-sized sundresses, mainly white with these colours as a main theme. and matching coloured sun hats,” she added hastily. Their heads were distractingly inhuman, so covering them might help. She watched them work, even interrupting a few times to ask for embroidered details and minor adjustments. Once they finished, she had them don their new outfits.
Oh! The hems seem scandalously short on their long lanky legs! Better than before, but not by a lot.
“Imps, please put on the hats that match the colour of your dress.”
“Merp.”
Much better! They look like ladies now!
“You are now Lady Bluebird, Lady Crossbill, and…” She paused at the last one, thinking of songbirds that were as bright yellow as the fabric. “Miss Goldfinch!”
She leaned back and admired her little ladies. They were far less threatening now, and their dull crimson skin really made the dresses look extra vibrant.
“Dang Taritha, how did you make yours so pretty? I want some pretty ones!” Jourgun commented as he looked over.
“Drool over your own demons! These are mine!” she said playfully. There was an undercurrent of possessiveness that she didn’t expect, but these ones were hers now. “Anyways, I’m going to bed too, you guys are too slow! Have fun, boys!” she said as she devoked her imps. The new clothes fell to the work surface.
“Oh yeah, they don’t take that with ‘em, wherever they go, so just keep it in a lil bag or whatever,” Stanisk said when he saw her distress. “They gotta get dressed every time you invoke it,” he shrugged.
So much to learn today!
With a brave smile, she replaced the totems in the box and gathered the dresses and hats. “Mind if I take…” she said as she slowly lifted a lamp from near Rikad.
“Oh yeah, all yours,” he said dismissively, fully engrossed in examining the tiny lordly robes of D’Imp Lomat.
She went back to the hall, up the wide even stairs to the third floor. She’d only spent a bit of time investigating it earlier, as she and Ros had been anxious about being late for dinner. She saw the heap of her worldly possessions against the wall where she’d left them. The only furniture here was the bed, but by the sounds of it, getting some tables, chairs, and wardrobes would be easy enough tomorrow. She placed the totem box and the tiny outfits on the floor beside the bed.
The bed itself was unlike any she’d ever heard of. Crafted with thick pine beams and topped with a mattress of imported cotton, it was probably wider than her entire hovel. A family of five could sleep on it and barely touch. She couldn’t imagine a more lordly bed. Its refined look and the luxurious softness were worlds apart from the coarse fabric and straw she was used to. Sometimes in the fall, she’d add freshly fallen leaves to her straw mattress for extra comfort, but that was a fleeting pleasure. This bed, however, promised constant comfort. She eyed the pile of heavy blankets at the foot of the bed. Recently, she had bought a single blanket from the market, thin and scratchy, but these were the mage’s blankets—thick, plush, and impossibly soft.
She shut the heavy door and took off her tall boots. The floor felt smooth under her bare feet. Even having a floor was a new luxury; she was accustomed to hard-packed dirt floors like most everyone else. This wasn’t just a floor; it was a delicate herringbone pattern of different kinds of wood, obviously done by the agile imps. It was cleaner, smoother, and more level than any table she’d eaten off before the mage came to town.
She stopped admiring the floor and stripped to her shift. She felt exposed being so undressed around so many men. She reasoned it out—the iron and oak door was stronger than a hide flap, and this would doubtlessly be the safest sleep of her life. Just a reaction, not a reality. She left the lamp on the floor and got in bed.
With a panic, she yelped as the whole bed flowed underneath her, as if she’d stepped on the tail of a sleeping cat. She tried to get up but her feet were already off the floor, and she couldn’t find a stable purchase with her hands. She froze up to think her way out of it, and the bed stopped moving almost as soon as she did.
Her heart pounded in her chest.
Was this an enchantment gone awry? Some bed demon?
Slowly, she log-rolled towards the edge of the bed, and the mattress under her also slowly moved, but not enough to stop her. Slow and steady, she might get free yet. Finally, she was close enough to put a foot down and stand. The bed flowed back to being perfectly flat.
She stood up, with a hand to her sternum, trying to catch her breath.
Think! What did the mage say about this today? It would magically adjust? Maybe that was all it was doing?
She leaned over and gently pushed down with a single fist. It was super pliable, then increasingly firm. But it felt unlike anything else—stacks of clothes or hides all felt different when they got pressed.
It must be magic. No time to be timid, and it would be humiliating to go to either the mage or the chief about this.
The only spell she could reliably cast was a gesture of Mana-Visualization. It caused the invisible lines of arcane energy to glow visibly, in bright colours that hinted at their use and purpose. She cast it to better examine her bed. It wasn’t enchanted as she expected; rather, hundreds and hundreds of things inside it were, and they linked and overlapped in ways she wouldn’t understand if she studied enchantments for a decade. She involuntarily took a step back from it, like finding a hundred warhorses inside a small cabinet.
She dismissed the gesture. With renewed determination, she slowly sat down on the bed. It shifted but only a bit. It was very soft and comfortable. Slowly, she turned and laid back, fighting her panic as the mattress kept shifting everywhere her body touched it, unnervingly lifelike. Fully laying down, she stopped and the mattress stopped. Even as her eyes were still wide with terror, she started to calm down. To test her theories, she rolled onto her side, and the mattress under her hip grew softer, and the part under her ribs grew firmer, until the pressure equalised. Rolling back, she felt it shift again, and once more the mattress's firmness changed all up and down her body, stopping once it was the same shape as her body’s pressure, resulting in sublime comfort.
Oh. This is incredible. I get it now!
She reached to the foot of the bed, pulled one of the soft blankets up to her chin, reached down to extinguish the lamp and drifted off into a better sleep than anyone in the history of her family ever had.
Prev

This is my attempt at a 1000 word essay on three big questions many Christians have.
If God is good:

1. Why does life depend on death to continue
2. Why hasn't Jesus returned and made things right yet
3. Why hasn't Jesus' teaching done away with suffering

Life is a classroom to teach us how to be worthy of eternity. Eden represents life in its perfect, heavenly state. God created us in His image to teach us to be like Himself. Unity, equality, and love are distinct, but inseparable components of God. We must learn to value them to be worthy of eternal life.
We had everything we needed in Eden to create heaven on earth. We could have learned every lesson by interacting with God and Creation. The animals' traits teach us about character. The plants teach us value. The seasons teach us preparation and timing. Every lesson shows that patience and love give the greatest benefit. Healthy limits on these avoid their abuse.
The unity of Adam and Eve shows us why we must be like God to fulfill our purpose. (The other big lesson of "family" is to support the weak, Job 29:11-17, Acts 4:32-35) Adam is made in God's image. God gives Adam His own breath = spirit. (John 4:24) Adam has a surplus without a deficit to fill. This is the state God / Love is in without a Creation to receive His love. Adam sees his need when he cannot find a worthy partner among the animals. (Genesis 2:20) From his own body, God fashions a woman. Eve, was with Adam from the beginning, but not in a form that truly completed him. She is given back to him and they return to being one. (Genesis 2:23-24) We "leave and cleave" because this sacred relationship is the most important lesson we need to get before time runs out. We can learn to be one in the most joyful and painless way, if we keep marriage sacred and sinless.
Sin divides us. Every lesson on earth teaches us to distinguish between what brings life or death. All sin eventually brings death. We change our classroom every time we bring sin/death into it. We have to deal with the consequences as part of our lessons. The curses on the First Family, are lessons that teach what a god must patiently endure when his creation deviates from eternal behavior. (Psalm 82:6, Matthew 5:43-45, John 10:27-38)

• Adam (representing God)
• works the ground (earth representing Adam)
• to produce food (satisfaction for God's emptiness without a safe target for His love.)
• but it only produces thorns (Adam's selfish, destructive behavior)

This pattern continues throughout history; for example, we didn't have a "death-penalty" until we needed it to stop sin from spreading to all life. Once we realized, "an eye for an eye" would make the whole world blind, we were ready for the Healer, Jesus Messiah.
The questions:

1. "If God is good, why does life depend on death to survive?"

Death is a consequence of being unable or unwilling to sustain life. Sin is willful deviation from unity/equality/love. Sin leads to death of the innocent. It eventually will lead to the death of everything. It is stopped by the correction and/or punishment of the deviant death-bringer. (The difference is between willful sin and ignorant sin. Numbers 15:28-31, Romans 5:12-21, Luke 12:47-48, Romans 6:23)
The death-penalty is like surgery. It's a last-resort treatment to keep sin from spreading to healthy, life-supporting members of creation. There was no death in Eden until humans brought it in by sinning, instead of healing our world. (Genesis 1:28, Genesis 2:15) The flood account tells us that all life was corrupted by sin. It's why God resorted to destroying every land animal that didn't enter the Ark. (Genesis 6:11-12)
When man left the Ark, we received meat as food and the death-penalty for shedding innocent blood. This came about in order to weed-out the abusive and negligent. (I say "we" because we are all still one, as long as sin doesn't separate us.) Removing the sinful, and cleaning up after sin is part of sustaining life now. (Genesis 9:1-6) Creation is made whole again when its resources are put to use by those who submit to eternal laws, (Unity, equality, love. Proverbs 28:8) Evolution denies the Biblical account, so please know I don't judge anyone for believing our secular school teachers. Evolution can't account for things like this: "Deer saves rabbit from hawk." There will be no death in the age to come. (1 Corinthians 15:26, Isaiah 25:8)

1. "Why hasn't Jesus returned and made things right yet."

God is being patient with us. He doesn't want anyone that could be saved to be left behind. (Ezekiel 18:30-32, 2 Peter 3:9, Matthew 24:29-44) We have time limits on our lessons. Like babes in the womb, mankind has a fixed time in this age. We will become fit for eternity or we won't, depending on what we spent our lives becoming. We are all one. Each person's experience serves as a witness to what is, or isn't life-sustaining. (Ecclesiastes 9:10, John 9:4) We're wise to live by eternal lessons for the sake of ourselves and those connected to us. (Ecclesiastes 9:11-18, Matthew 25:1-13)

1. Why hasn't Jesus' teaching done away with suffering?

Sin creates suffering for everyone. That's why it's so evil. We have a free-will to choose death or life. (Genesis 2:9, Deuteronomy 30:19, Acts 2:38-40) Jesus taught us to do things that promote life, but we disobey Him. (Matthew 25:40, Proverbs 19:17) What we live and die to accomplish proves our devotion to love, unity and equality, or our lack of it. (John 11:7-10, 1 Peter 4:12-19)
Scripture references:
Life is a classroom meant to teach us how to be worthy of eternity.
Job 29:11-17 NKJV

11 When the ear heard, then it blessed me, And when the eye saw, then it approved me; 12 Because I delivered the poor who cried out, The fatherless and the one who had no helper. 13 The blessing of a perishing man came upon me, And I caused the widow's heart to sing for joy. 14 I put on righteousness, and it clothed me; My justice was like a robe and a turban. 15 I was eyes to the blind, And I was feet to the lame. 16 I was a father to the poor, And I searched out the case that I did not know. 17 I broke the fangs of the wicked, And plucked the victim from his teeth.

Acts 4:32-35 NKJV

32 Now the multitude of those who believed were of one heart and one soul; neither did anyone say that any of the things he possessed was his own, but they had all things in common. 33 And with great power the apostles gave witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And great grace was upon them all. 34 Nor was there anyone among them who lacked; for all who were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the proceeds of the things that were sold, 35 and laid them at the apostles' feet; and they distributed to each as anyone had need.

The first family's form and situation parallel spiritual truths about God.
John 4:24 NKJV

24 "God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth."

Genesis 2:20-24 NKJV

20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Every lesson on earth teaches us to distinguish between what brings life or death, in order to become like God. He is the source and example of unity, equality and love.
Psalm 82:6 NKJV

6 I said, "You are gods, And all of you are children of the Most High.

Matthew 5:43-45 NKJV

43 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 "that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

John 10:27-38 NKJV

27 "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 28 "And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 29 "My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father's hand. 30 "I and My Father are one." 31 Then the Jews took up stones again to stone Him. 32 Jesus answered them, "Many good works I have shown you from My Father. For which of those works do you stone Me?" 33 The Jews answered Him, saying, "For a good work we do not stone You, but for blasphemy, and because You, being a Man, make Yourself God." 34 Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your law, 'I said, "You are gods" '? 35 "If He called them gods, to whom the word of God came (and the Scripture cannot be broken), 36 "do you say of Him whom the Father sanctified and sent into the world, 'You are blaspheming,' because I said, 'I am the Son of God'? 37 "If I do not do the works of My Father, do not believe Me; 38 "but if I do, though you do not believe Me, believe the works, that you may know and believe that the Father is in Me, and I in Him."

The questions:

1. "If God is good, why does life depend on death to survive?"

Death comes from being unable or unwilling to sustain life. Sin brings death when those who could sustain life abuse, neglect or don't understand their duties. We all have a conscience. We know we owe our lives to someone who believed in supporting the weak, but some of us listen to our flesh anyway.
Numbers 15:28-31 NKJV

28 'So the priest shall make atonement for the person who sins unintentionally, when he sins unintentionally before the LORD, to make atonement for him; and it shall be forgiven him. 29 'You shall have one law for him who sins unintentionally, for him who is native-born among the children of Israel and for the stranger who dwells among them. 30 'But the person who does anything presumptuously, whether he is native-born or a stranger, that one brings reproach on the LORD, and he shall be cut off from among his people. 31 'Because he has despised the word of the LORD, and has broken His commandment, that person shall be completely cut off; his guilt shall be upon him.' "

Romans 5:12-21 NKJV

12 Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned-- 13 (For until the law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law. 14 Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who had not sinned according to the likeness of the transgression of Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come. 15 But the free gift is not like the offense. For if by the one man's offense many died, much more the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abounded to many. 16 And the gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned. For the judgment which came from one offense resulted in condemnation, but the free gift which came from many offenses resulted in justification. 17 For if by the one man's offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.) 18 Therefore, as through one man's offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man's righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life. 19 For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man's obedience many will be made righteous. 20 Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, 21 so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Luke 12:47-48 NKJV

47 "And that servant who knew his master's will, and did not prepare himself or do according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48 "But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.

Romans 6:23 NKJV

23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

There was no death in Eden until humans brought it in by sinning, instead of healing and taming our world. The flood account tells us that all life became irreparably corrupted by sin. We were put here to tame the animals, but instead, we led them by our bad example.
Genesis 1:28

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Genesis 2:15 NKJV

15 Then the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.

Genesis 6:11-12 NKJV

11 The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. 12 So God looked upon the earth, and indeed it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted their way on the earth.

There will be no death in the age to come.
1 Corinthians 15:26 NKJV

26 The last enemy that will be destroyed is death.

Isaiah 25:8 NKJV

8 He will swallow up death forever, And the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces; The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; For the LORD has spoken.

When man left the Ark, we received meat as food and the death-penalty for shedding innocent blood. This came about in order to weed-out the abusive and negligent. Creation is made whole again when its resources are put to use by those who submit to the eternal laws of unity, equality, and love.
Genesis 9:1-6 NKJV

1 So God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth. 2 "And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be on every beast of the earth, on every bird of the air, on all that move on the earth, and on all the fish of the sea. They are given into your hand. 3 "Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. I have given you all things, even as the green herbs. 4 "But you shall not eat flesh with its life, that is, its blood. 5 "Surely for your lifeblood I will demand a reckoning; from the hand of every beast I will require it, and from the hand of man. From the hand of every man's brother I will require the life of man. 6 "Whoever sheds man's blood, By man his blood shall be shed; For in the image of God He made man.

Proverbs 28:8 NKJV

8 One who increases his possessions by usury and extortion Gathers it for him who will pity the poor.

1. "Why hasn't Jesus returned and made things right yet."

God is patient with us. He doesn't want anyone left behind unless its absolutely necessary.
Ezekiel 18:30-32 NKJV

30 "Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways," says the Lord GOD. "Repent, and turn from all your transgressions, so that iniquity will not be your ruin. 31 "Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O house of Israel? 32 "For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies," says the Lord GOD. "Therefore turn and live!"

2 Peter 3:9 NKJV

9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

Matthew 24:29-44 NKJV

29 "Immediately after the tribulation of those days the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. 30 "Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in heaven, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. 31 "And He will send His angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they will gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other. 32 "Now learn this parable from the fig tree: When its branch has already become tender and puts forth leaves, you know that summer is near. 33 "So you also, when you see all these things, know that it is near--at the doors! 34 "Assuredly, I say to you, this generation will by no means pass away till all these things take place. 35 "Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. 36 "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. 37 "But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. 38 "For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, 39 "and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. 40 "Then two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left. 41 "Two women will be grinding at the mill: one will be taken and the other left. 42 "Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming. 43 "But know this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and not allowed his house to be broken into. 44 "Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

Mankind has a fixed time on earth. We will become fit for eternity, or we won't, depending on how well we paid attention to life's lessons.
John 9:4 NKJV

4 "I must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work.

Ecclesiastes 9:10-18 NKJV

10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going. 11 I returned and saw under the sun that--The race is not to the swift, Nor the battle to the strong, Nor bread to the wise, Nor riches to men of understanding, Nor favor to men of skill; But time and chance happen to them all. 12 For man also does not know his time: Like fish taken in a cruel net, Like birds caught in a snare, So the sons of men are snared in an evil time, When it falls suddenly upon them. 13 This wisdom I have also seen under the sun, and it seemed great to me: 14 There was a little city with few men in it; and a great king came against it, besieged it, and built great snares around it. 15 Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city. Yet no one remembered that same poor man. 16 Then I said: "Wisdom is better than strength. Nevertheless the poor man's wisdom is despised, And his words are not heard. 17 Words of the wise, spoken quietly, should be heard Rather than the shout of a ruler of fools. 18 Wisdom is better than weapons of war; But one sinner destroys much good."

Matthew 25:1-13 NKJV

1 "Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 "Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. 3 "Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, 4 "but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. 5 "But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept. 6 "And at midnight a cry was heard: 'Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!' 7 "Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. 8 "And the foolish said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' 9 "But the wise answered, saying, 'No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.' 10 "And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut. 11 "Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, 'Lord, Lord, open to us!' 12 "But he answered and said, 'Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.' 13 "Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.

1. Why hasn't Jesus' teaching done away with suffering?

Sin and suffering are inseparable. Our Teacher has done all He could to bring us into eternity despite our sinful world. He even provided a perfect example for us to follow. Sadly, some still use their free-will to choose sin. We must be able to manage a free-will to be safe to inherit eternity.
Genesis 2:9 NKJV

9 And out of the ground the LORD God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Deuteronomy 30:19 NKJV

19 "I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;

Acts 2:38-40 NKJV

38 Then Peter said to them, "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 "For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call." 40 And with many other words he testified and exhorted them, saying, "Be saved from this perverse generation."

Jesus explained that our response to His teaching should be to do things that promote life.
Matthew 25:40

40 "And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did good to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.'

Proverbs 19:17 NKJV

17 He who has pity on the poor lends to the LORD, and He will pay back what he has given.

What we live and die for proves our commitment to love, unity and equality, or our lack of it.
John 11:7-10 NKJV

7 Then after this He said to the disciples, "Let us go to Judea again." 8 The disciples said to Him, "Rabbi, lately the Jews sought to stone You, and are You going there again?" 9 Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. 10 "But if one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him."

1 Peter 4:12-19 NKJV

12 Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; 13 but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. 14 If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified. 15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people's matters. 16 Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter. 17 For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 Now "If the righteous one is scarcely saved, Where will the ungodly and the sinner appear?" 19 Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.

Hey all, this is going to be a long post but I really appreciate everyone’s time to read (and comment on) this.
So basically, my husband is from China (turned SG citizen) and I’m a Singaporean. We met and work and got married less than a year of dating (we knew each other for a couple of years while working together). My husband left his hometown almost 20 years ago to come to SG to study and work, alone. So when we got together, he was living in a rented room alone and we basically just called his mother once a week or so. We got married during Covid period so we only had an intimate ceremony with about 10pax, and I didn’t get to see my MIL or any of his side of the family. Soon after, I got pregnant with our first child and the Covid 19 restrictions eased up, so he talked about flying his mum over to SG (with no return date because he was intending to get apply a LTVP for her on the grounds that she’s here to take care of her grandson), and he did as planned. That was in year 2021.
At first, I was really excited to meet my MIL, I mean, it’s just like having another mother and she seemed really friendly over the video calls. BUT, when she came, ONE DAY AFTER MY CHILD WAS BORN, she was supposed to take care of my confinement and she really didn’t do a good job at all. On the first day when she came, my mum (who has a full time job), guided her on what are the things she can cook for my confinement, and she even bought some fresh meat and kept in the freezer and told BOTH my MIL and my husband. Turns out, they both said they didn’t hear it and for dinner that night which is the first meal that she was supposed to cook for me, my husband just went down to buy takeaway food back. For Chinese, during confinement, we need to drink HOT Longan red date tea, and I told my hubby and my MIL, well, she cooks it everyday BUT she just leaves it in a regular Tupperware container that doesn’t keep warm and every time I wanted to drink I had to add some hot water myself. I spoke to my husband about it, I even told him that before my child was born, MY MUM specifically went to buy a new thermal flask for me for that purpose and he knew it all along. Well, instead of correcting his mum, he went against me and said why bother since I always don’t finish the drink also. His mum only cooks the food that my husband likes to eat, well understandable, but the most I got from her was just a bowl of soup and sometimes kept the leftover for the next meal (along with all the other dishes she cooked for her son). And when I told my husband about this, he said he will speak to his mum and he even went online to search for a few menus and ask me to choose what I wanted to eat. I did, but the food never changed lol. When I asked him why, he said ‘aiya i see the menu, most of the food you also don’t like to eat one Ma’ and I’m like, ‘but weren’t you the one who gave me the choice in the first place? And didn’t I already choose the menu?’
But that’s not all, I can take care of myself. The worst nightmare is when my MIL tries to poke her nose into my business and how I take care of my baby. Whenever it was time to feed the baby, she will ALWAYS ask me if I was going to breast feed or formula feed. It came to a point where I was really so stressed I closed the door and shifted all my breastfeeding equipment snd baby formula and milk bottle into my room so I could get everything done inside. Even so, when I carry the baby out to her to play, she will still question like why she heard the baby crying etc, DUHHHH BABIES CRY WHAT 🙄 and when I swaddle my baby, she always removed the swaddle and wrap him loosely for his sleep, saying that the baby doesn’t like to be swaddled. I told her it’s not safe to have the blanket loosely wrapped on him and also swaddling will make the baby feel safe and not keep getting jump scares. She never listened and one day, my son started vomiting a lot of milk after each feed, we brought him in to the doctors and the PD asked if anyone was sick at home, and we said no. The next thing he asked if the baby is usually swaddled, and I said not really, so he said it could be that the baby’s free hands were touching everything and he just put it in his mouth causing germs and eventually led to stomach flu. My boy was just 2 months old people.
I also paid for MY OWN postnatal massage and when the lady came, my MIL asked to carry the baby outside cause she said the smell was too strong and not good for the baby. ERM HELLO? These people even help to massage newborns as part of the routine for goodness sake. Anyway I didn’t want to argue with her in front of an outsider so I let her take my son out of the room. To my extreme shock, when I went out, I saw my son sleeping, wrapped in a thick blanket, with a KNITTED SWEATER on top of him, windows closed, blinds turned down, NO FAN NO AIRCON. I immediately told my husband to bring him back to me and I asked why didn’t he stop his mum, the baby could easily get over heated, and he just told me like his mum just switched off the fan. Excuse me it’s so freaking HOT IN SG. Ever since then, I cancelled my following sessions because I really couldn’t stand her taking care of my son THAT WAY.
So anyway, she eventually went back after 4 months of hell and we were back to our normal lives. My husband was then offered a job in Japan and he decided to take it up. So we moved to Japan with our then 8 months old son, and I got pregnant soon after. And my husband suggested to let his mum come to take care of me, I immediately refused. Who knows how much distress she was gonna cause me.
When my second son was born and hit 3 months old, we planned a trip back to China and stayed there for 2 weeks. She offered to take care of him while we bring our older son out to play. While we were out, I would ask her from time to time how’s the baby and she will always say he’s fine. Then one day, I found out that she left the baby ALONE at home TWICE on the same day. Once to go down to collect a parcel, and another time to go to the rooftop to hang the bedsheets. When I told my husband about it, he went, ‘butthe baby was sleeping Ma’. That got me so furious I told him YOU NEVER LET A BABY OUT OF YOUR SIGHT, NOT AT ALL.
She later followed us back to Japan to stay for 3 months (I know,lol). And again, started to meddle with small things like what I wear for my kids outdoors, or whether to on the air con or fan (she’s always saying the kids are cold)🙄 before I agreed to let her come, I told my husband that I have 2 conditions;

1. Not to speak their native language in front of my son as much as possible (cause my son seems to be having trouble speaking with the many languages that he is hearing)
2. Follow my way to care for the kids.

He readily agreed but NEVER FULFILLED THEM. I have to send my older son to school eveyday and my younger son would be with my MIL at home. Each time he naps, he would only nap for 20 mins max under her care. He also refused to drink milk when she tries to feed. And after some time, I noticed when she makes the milk, it’s always HALF hot water, HALF room temp. And sometimes when he refuses to drink she would keep the milk warm by placing in a bowl of hot water, but when she picks the bottle up to feed him again, she NEVER tested the temperature of the milk and just fed him directly. I think that kind of tramaustised my son and I told her to stop feeding him and that I will take care of him myself.
She never believes me when I told him the baby needs to sleep or wants to sleep. Until I got really fed up and I always pat him to sleep by my own. So basically, her being here not only didn’t help, but it caused me even more unhappiness, and my husband doesn’t see it! He’s always siding her. When I try to talk to him about it, he feels that I am prejudiced against his mum. I even tried to speak to her and she felt like she was already following my way but hell no man.
Anyway fast forward to today, we have been planning a trip back to SG since a few months back, but the trip keeps getting postponed because of my husband’s work load. For the 2 years since we have been in Japan, it has always been like that. I always had to accommodate to his work schedule to go back and is always like, flying off next week and the air tickets are only bought a week before. As a result of this, I often have to make last minute plans to meet up with my friends or to go for my medical appointment (I have medical review for a minor op that I did for a tumor behind my ear, I needed to keep going back to check if the tumor came back). And I was fine with that. But this time round, for the past few weeks I kept asking him if the dates were confirmed and he’s like ya confirmed. Today, when I finally told him to buy the air tickets, he sprung a surprise on me telling me that he intends to go back to China on one of the weekends that we are back in SG. I was really pissed off because:

1. we were only gonna be back for 2 weeks
2. I only have one full weekend with my family cause the second weekend we would be flying back (and my family work on weekdays)
3. He freaking didn’t mention any of this plan for the last few weeks UNTIL I TOLD HIM TO BUY THE AIR TICKETS BACK TO SG When I told him he should have discussed with me, he got pissed off at me as though it’s my fault for being unreasonable to make such a request.

That aside, I’m also kind of dreading to live with my MIL, especially since SHE JUST WENT BACK TO CHINA AFTER LIVING WITH US FOR 4 MONTHS 🙄
I’m sorry for the long post, I’m not really sure what’s my purpose of this. I guess I mainly wanted to RANT and for my feelings to be known. 🥹🥹🥹

Epic spring cleaning. PayPal, e-Transfer, or cash. Local in Metro Vancouver-area for meetup, can also ship. Currently not open to trades, sorry.

Gear and clothing:

• USGI UNICOR 1995 PASGT Helmet (Medium)($300):
  • Genuine US military surplus - real Kevlar protection, supposedly stops 9mm
  • Standard OD green shell, comes with M81 woodland camo cover, a cat-eyes reflective IFF band, and an NVG mount
  • Here's a pic of the markings, or at least I tried to take it... difficult with the band permanently attached
  • Working condition - this has definitely seen a deployment (not by me). No cracks or dents.
• USGI Safariland SPEAR ELCS Deployment Kit ($800):
  • All in NEW unissued condition and in M81 woodland camo unless otherwise stated
  • All pieces are genuine US military issue gear, all made in the USA, this is THE kit issued to US SOCOM right before and during the initial operations in Afghanistan 2001.... "rare" doesn't even begin to describe some of the pieces here
    • 1x Storage Organization Device (OD green)
    • 1x Load Bearing Panel Set, (1 Left, 1 Right)
    • 1x H-Harness Panel Set, (1 Left, 1 Right)
    • 1x Shoulder Pad Assembly
    • 2x Pouch, General Purpose, Large
    • 2x Pouch, Ammo, M60/SAW, 100 Round
    • 4x Pouch, Ammo, M16/M4, 30 Round, Double
    • 2x Pouch, Ammo, 40mm, Single
    • 2x Pouch, Medical
    • 1x Pouch, Flashbang
    • 2x Cover, Canteen, 2 Quart
    • 2x ALICE Attachment Adapter
    • 1x Manual
• USGI American Apparel USMC MCCUU Coat (Small-Short)(MARPAT Woodland)($50):
  • Genuine US military surplus, Marine issue with the EGA emblem and branch tape
  • Excellent used condition
• USGI American Apparel USMC MCCUU Pants (Small-Short)(MARPAT Woodland)($50):
  • Genuine US military surplus, Marine issue with the EGA emblem and branch tape
  • Excellent used condition
• USGI Isratex Inc. Hot Weather BDU Combat Pants (X-Small, X-Short)(M81 Woodland)($20):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Excellent used condition
• USGI MOLLE II Rifleman Pack with Frame (M81 woodland)($50):
  • Genuine US military surplus - part of the original overall MOLLE II infantry kit system of the late-1990s/early-2000s.
  • Working condition - this has definitely seen a deployment (not by me), but has been taken care of as part of a Cold War display I had.
• USGI SDS MOLLE II Patrol Pack w/ stiffener (M81 woodland)($50):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • Working condition - this has definitely seen a deployment (not by me)
• USGI SDS MOLLE II M16A2 6-Magazine Pouch Bandoleer (M81 Woodland)($20):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE I system - great as a backup/extra mag keeper in your backpack or trunk
  • Good condition
• 3x USGI SDS MOLLE II M4 mag pouch (double)(M81 Woodland)($10 each):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • It is marked as "double" as in it can hold two mags in a single slot, but it's a tight fit and, realistically, it's better used as a single mag pouch unless you stretch it out
  • Brand new condition
• 17x USGI SDS MOLLE II 40mm HE grenade pouch (single)(M81 Woodland)($5 each):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • Brand new condition
• 2x USGI SDS MOLLE II 40mm HE grenade pouch (double)(M81 Woodland)($5 each):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • Brand new condition
• 2x USGI SDS MOLLE II 40mm pyrotechnic pouch (double)(M81 Woodland)($5 each):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • Brand new condition
• USGI SDS MOLLE II squad radio pouch (M81 Woodland)($10):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • Good condition
• 2x USGI SDS MOLLE II sustainment pouch (M81 woodland)($10 each):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE I rucksack set (goes on the sides of the ruck)
  • Fits 2 MREs and many other things - it's a large pouch
  • Good condition
• USGI Handcuffs and SDS MOLLE pouch (M81 woodland)($20):
  • Genuine US military surplus, add-on to the MOLLE II system
  • Brand new condition
• USGI SDS MOLLE II USMC E-Tool Pouch (M81 Woodland)($10):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system, meant for the standard folding shovel/e-tool
  • Good condition
• USGI SDS MOLLE II canteen/NVG/general purpose pouch (M81 Woodland)($10):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE II system
  • Good condition
• USGI SDS MOLLE II Ka-Bar knife sheath adapter (OD green)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus, meant as an add on to the MOLLE I package, fits the classic KA-BAR, M7/M9 bayonet, and issued machete scabbards/sheaths
  • Good condition
• 2x USGI SDS ALICE adapter (OD green)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the MOLLE I system
  • Good condition
  • Free with the purchase of any MOLLE gear, just ask beforehand!
• USGI SDS RACK MOLLE Motorola SABER radio pouch (M81 woodland)($15):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the Ranger RACK system
  • Adjustable and can fit many other walkie-talkie types
  • Brand new condition
• USGI SDS RACK MOLLE AN/PRC-126 radio pouch (M81 woodland)($15):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the Ranger RACK system
  • Adjustable and can fit many other walkie-talkie types
  • Brand new condition
• USGI Point Blank Interceptor OTV throat protector (M81 Woodland) w/ ballistic insert ($50):
  • Genuine US military surplus - meant to attach to an OTV (Outer Tactical Vest). It comes with the ballistic insert that is supposed to be real NIJ Level III protection.
  • Good condition
• USGI Bijan's Elbowpads (Medium)(M81 Woodland)($20):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Brand new condition
• USGI Bijan's Kneepads (Small)(M81 Woodland)($20):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Brand new condition
• USGI 1 quart canteen (OD green)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Never used, but outside has some scratches due to storage
  • Free if you buy the canteen pouch above! Just ask.
• USGI ALICE compass pouch (OD green)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus, part of the old ALICE kit
  • Brand new condition
• USGI ALICE AN/PVS-7 Night Vision Goggle pouch (OD Green)($30):
  • Genuine US military surplus, has a removable but genuine 3rd Infantry Division tag
  • Good, used condition
• 3x USGI Fireforce ALICE 9mm pistol magazine pouch (OD Green)($5 each):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Good, used condition
• USGI Bianchi M1415 Thumb Break Conversion (OD Green)($10):
  • Genuine US military surplus, meant to replace the flap on the M12 holster with a simple quick-unsnap strap
  • New
• USGI Camelbak Thermobak 3L (M81 Woodland)($25):
  • Genuine US military surplus, sort of a late add on to MOLLE II, but it has no PALS webbing - it's designed to be loosely worn over chest rigs and plate carriers
  • Good used condition
• USGI USMC Lightweight Helmet (LWH) helmet headband replacement (large)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus, replacement part for the USMC LWH helmet, although it is backwards-compatible with PASGT
  • Brand new condition
• USGI M183 Demolition Charge Assembly satchel bag (OD green)($40):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • New condition, but from the 70s
• USGI PASGT Helmet liner band replacement (Medium)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus, comes with 4 retaining clips
  • New
• USGI IFAK Insert (OD Green)($5):
  • Genuine US military surplus, meant to hold the standard medical kit but is also a great, durable waterproof case that can protect phones and such
  • New
• Rothco Russian-contract Commando Sweater (OD green)(small) ($15):
  • Used surplus. The NCB code in the NSN of this sweater (57) indicates that this is was built for a Russian Federation military contract - back when Russia and NATO were on friendlier terms (I would assume that would date this sweater to 90s, early 00s)
• Rothco Phillipines-contract V-neck Sweater (black)(small) ($15):
  • Used surplus. The NCB code in the NSN of this sweater (46) indicates that this is was built for a Filipino military contract
• Rothco commercial V-neck Sweater (blue)(small)($5):
  • Used surplus. This came under one of Rothco's commercial brands - Wildlands. Meant for private guards, civilian use
• Rothco DBDU desert chocolate-chip camo BDU shorts (Small-Regular)($5):
  • Used, but fair condition
• Rothco police tactical short-sleve shirt (Medium)(Black)($10):
  • Excellent used condition
• KA-BAR 1216S Kydex sheath for KA-BAR USMC (black)($10):
  • Brand new condition
• USGI GS/FRP-2 Nomex Summer Flyer's Flight Gloves (Size: 8)(OD green)($15):
  • Genuine US military surplus
  • Size 8 which is small/medium more or less
  • New condition
• Propper Patrol Cap (Medium)(Black)($5):
  • New condition
• Propper undercover tactical short-sleeve shirt (tan)($15):
  • Comes with hidden pockets and zippers - meant for law enforcement
  • Lightly used condition
• Rothco moisture-wicking long-sleeve undershirt (OD green)($5):
  • Lightly used condition
• Condor MOLLE shoulder stop (desert tan)($5):
  • For those who like to put the buttstock of their long gun closer to their chest (popularized in the 2010s by some tactical training schools). Also works fine as a sort of grip pad for various uses.
  • Brand new, no tags. Never gamed.
• Condor MOLLE Padded War Belt (desert tan) ($10):
  • Fits all sizes. Brand new, no tags, Never gamed.
• Condor BinoculaLarge General Purpose MOLLE Pouch (black)($5):
  • Excellent used condition
• 3x Condor 20rd M16 mag/Small General Purpose MOLLE Pouch (black)($5 each):
  • Good used condition
• Warrior Cordura 1 qt. Canteen/NVG MOLLE pouch (DCU camo)($5):
  • Brand new
• 2x Condor 20rd M16 mag/Small General Purpose MOLLE Pouch (grey)($5 each):
  • Brand new
• Condor IFAK/Medium General Purpose MOLLE pouch (OD green)($5):
  • Excellent used condition
• Condor Cellphone/Electronics MOLLE Pouch (OD Green)($5)
  • Brand new
• Phoenix Industries Velcro Admin MOLLE Pouch (OD Green)($5):
  • Brand new
• Condor 2x 30rd AK mag + pistol mag pouch (OD green)($5):
  • Brand new
• 4x Condor MOLLE Mod straps (OD green) ($5):
  • 2x 4" and 2x 6" pieces
  • Attaches anything to your MOLLE panels
  • Brand new
• Scabbard/sheath for 18" machetes ($5):
  • Fits the standard US military 18" machete
  • Lightly used
• Propper boonie hat (OD green, Size 7)($10):
  • Brand new, no tags. Never gamed.
• Rothco MICH 2000/ACH Helmet Cover (M81 Woodland w/ Velcro)($5):
  • Brand new, no tags. Never gamed. A bit folded from storage
  • Uses C-cell batteries (included). Comes with 4 different coloured lenses. Decent brightness for it's design - it's a classic design dating back to the Vietnam-era. Incredibly long runtime.
  • Excellent condition. Carried in games a few times but never used
• Grappling hook set w/ rope ($20):
  • Comes with the foldable hook, 20m of rope, and a black MOLLE pouch
  • Brand new
• VisionKing Illuminated 10x50 Binoculars ($30):
  • Supposed to illuminate, but I can't find out what battery it uses after the old one ran out and I threw it away. It's like slightly larger than a hearing aid battery?
  • Excellent condition
• Cold Steel Rubber M9 Bayonet ($10):
  • Rubbeplastic construction, fits on the M4 and M16
  • Made in the USA
  • Great for close-in encounters on the field or martial arts training
  • New, just used for wall-hanging decor
• Rothco US-made Nylon paracord (ranger green)($1)
  • Made by the same contractor that does some US military stuff
  • I used a bit, don't know how much, but most of it is still there
  • Free if you buy something else from me, just ask!

Gun parts and airsoft-specific accessories:

• USGI Pistol Lanyard (OD green)($10):
  • Genuine US military issue, meant for the lanyard loop on the bottom of most pistols' grips, also used for the MX-991/U flashlight, M2 compass, etc.
  • Brand new, sealed
• High Ready Gear LiPo 11.1V battery ($20):
  • Mini-Tamiya-wired, 1200 mAh, 20C, Graphene, fits in a buffer tube
  • Brand new, sealed
• Tenergy LiPo 7.4V battery ($20):
  • Mini-Tamiya-wired, 1000 mAh, 20C, definitely fits in a buffer tube and even a Crane stock battery compartment
  • Used, but works great
• 2x Well Fire Airsoft Multi-Function Automatic Target System ($20 each):
  • Great for indoor shooting, has a net for catching BBs, automatically resets targets, roughly the size of a microwave oven
  • Brand new, never taken out of the box - I bought two of these and this was a spare. Willing to sell the other one, too - same condition, just taken out of the box
• NCStar 1911 clamp-on rail ($10):
  • Full metal, fits onto any classic-style 1911 with no rail (i.e. Marui Series 70, M1911A1)
  • Brand new, open box condition. never used. Does NOT fit KWC as the frame is too thick - this is why I never used it.
• Magpul PTS MOE M4 handguard ($20):
  • Drop-in replacement for standard Marui-type M4 AEG handguard w/ delta ring and cap.
  • Comes with 3 plastic rail sections - 2 sides and 1 bottom.
  • Gamed once. Good condition.
• AGM pistol optic rail ($10):
  • Full metal, allows for top, side and bottom rails on pistol - side rail is removable
  • Fits any pistol with bottom RIS rail and any slide height, including Desert Eagle
  • Never gamed, just used for display
• KJ Works M9 metal outer barrel ($5):
  • Full metal. Theoretically should fit any V1 Marui-type M9s/M92s
  • A bit of wear from taking it out of my M9, but still functional.
• E&C MK18 to M4/M4A1 outer barrel extension ($10):
  • Full metal. 14mm negative threading. Turns a standard 10.3" MK18 barrel to the 14.5" M4/M4A1 barrel with a cut for the M203 front mount
  • A bit of wear from mounting an M203, but still functional
• Raven Evolution outer barrel extension pack ($20):
  • Full metal,14mm negative threading, includes a 1", 2", and 3" barrel extension
  • Brand new, sealed
• Element tan grippod ($10):
  • This one, if you get it, you have to slam the legs back up the grip with authority to keep it there like the real thing. Slam it hard. Fits RIS/RAS rails.
  • New, out of package condition. Never gamed.
• A&K KAC-style grip and rail cover panel set ($10):
  • 5 piece set - includes 1x standard vertical foregrip, 2x 11-rib rail cover panels, and 2x 2-rib rail cover panels. Fits RIS/RAS rails
  • Brand new
• Docter-style mini reflex red dot sight (RIS-mounted)($25):
  • Comes with a sight cover for storage
  • Brand new, open box condition
• BCM-style vertical grip ($5):
  • Fits RIS/RAS rails , a little ding on the screw from tightening, otherwise excellent condition
• UTG rail cover rubber grip panels ($5):
  • Covers RIS/RAS rails, rubbePVC construction, Made in USA
  • Used condition, needs cleaning, still works just fine. Free if you buy something else from me, just let me know if you want it!
• Element LaRue-licensed 30mm cantilever red dot sight mount($10):
  • Full metal, made for all 30mm tubed sights, specifically the Aimpoint M68 CCO/CompM2, quick-detach mount
  • Lightly used condition, never gamed
• Element QD 30mm magnifier twist mount ($10):
  • Full metal, made for all 30mm tubed sights, specifically the Aimpoint and EOTech type magnifiers, quick-detach
  • Lightly used condition, never gamed