Shy love bunny ranch

I (32f) met this guy (33m) on Tinder in February. We instantly hit it off over text, texted 3 days straight and had a 4 hour phonecall on the second day. I then kind of pressured him into a date, he said he needed to study for finals, but could meet up for a few hours if it was important to me .
The date went well, we talked for 3 hours, laughed a lot. He seemed really nervous, but nothing too extreme and we had a lot talk and laugh about, as in our texts. He isn't super attractive by modern standards, but that doesn't bother me at all, I find him cute and told him that. He hinted at his looks being a problem, but I reassured him that I liked him and wanted to meet up again if he found time.
Since then we have been texting on and off for 4 months, but he hasn't had time for another date yet -at least he says that. He seems to enjoy talking to me, though, but he isn't flirty at all (I don't think he's the type to flirt at all), he's very focused on his work and getting his degree, which I admire. at the same time I am going crazy over here.
I have built up this mental image of him for 4 months now and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. He has many qualities I like, he's funny, witty, very intelligent, has ambition and drive and many interests... I feel like I'm starting to fall in love, which is unfortunate, because he keeps saying he has to put his career and studies first until at least July and he doesn't want to just meet up sometimes, because he knows that if we start meeting up and getting closer, I will be even less okay with him having to prioritise other things over me for months. I get that, I really do - but I'm going crazy. I can't seem to concentrate on anything else anymore, I have this deep urge to meet him, I can't wait anymore.
How can I get through the next 2 months without much flirting, no dates, no "security" but the prospect of this relationship in the future? I really don't think he's lying to me, he just seems very ambitious, shy, logical over emotional and just not experienced in relationships.

For a long time I can’t figure this out. The tests that I took said that I have a strong Ne.. (also I think my enneagram is 1w9 if it helps). But I can't understand if I'm ENFP or INFP.
I don't have a lot of friends (only 2 if I'm being honest) and I have been sitting at home for a long time. I am depressed, so it is difficult for me to understand what type I have, but I'm soo curious (I can’t let go of the situation until I know for sure)! I've always dreamed of having a large group of friends, but I find it difficult to meet new people because I have social anxiety and I constantly think that no one will like me. I started to think very negatively (since 2020 I guess lol). If i look into the past, I have always had few friends because I am shy, although I don’t see it as difficult to talk to anyone (unless, of course, the person itself is silent and I need to extract at least some answers from them). I also don’t think that I can walk up to a random person and start a conversation, but if they come up to me, I won’t be silent, although I will feel awkward (I hate myself so much omg). Previously, I always initiated meet ups with friends and invited them somewhere (not so long ago I started trying to take old friends out for a walk because I really needed communication). But sometimes I often cancel walks at the last moment because I feel anxious about myself and it seems that I will be awkward, so it’s better to avoid the situation or go for a walk alone.
When it comes to making decisions, I often ask my family because I want them to decide for me loll and sometimes when I know what I want, I still ask them, cause I want to hear that they chose the same option as me. When my family has some problems, I try to offer a bunch of solutions instead of hugging and supporting, and I began to notice that when a person close to me cries, I try to joke instead of calming them down with words.
I love planning! I love it when everything is clean and I hate mess, although from time to time I can be messy. I always used to make a plan for the day and tried to create a routine that I would do every day cause I want to have better habits. (But before this depressive episode when I gave up on everything and everyone and started just doing something to avoid stress or doing absolutely nothing). But I always set huge periods of time in my plans because I don’t want to push myself into a framework, and perhaps in the process of executing the plan I will understand that I don’t want to do some stuff at all. (I also often carry out the plan randomly like 1,4,2,3 and not 1,2,3,4).
I don't mind routine, especially when it comes to work. I like it when there is a clear schedule and I don’t mind doing the same thing. When work involves making quick decisions and when they randomly throw up tasks that need to be done urgently, I feel a lot of stress because I am not confident in myself. I never had one constant routine because sooner or later I give up on everything, but when I was in school I felt very calm because I knew that every day was almost the same and I didn’t need to worry about the unexpected (and I also had so much free time!!). But at the same time, it seems to me that if I do the same routine, I will feel bad. When I worked from 9 to 6, on weekends, I began to walk more often and do random things (like trips to a village 40 km from the city) just to do something and not lie at home and suffer. I didn’t like that I didn’t have enough time for anything, so I think it’s very difficult for me to find a job now.
Thank you if you read all of this and sorry for mistakes, english is not my first language! I don't know if I chose the right subreddit since I'm new here, but I will be very grateful if you help me 🥲 If you have any articles where I can study MBTI better, please send them to me. I'm trying to understand myself but I think I need therapy first hahahah

Here is one for you all and its a long one. 44M here, been with my significant other for ~20 years, married for 11 years. At this point I don't feel like we are going to make it much longer. I don't think she wants to be with me anymore but needs me for financial support so she is trying to string me along.
Background:
I want to say right off that I know I am not perfect, have never pretended to be nor have I overlooked my shortcomings and have done everything I can to address and deal with my issues.At first things were good. We did things together, went out, hung out with friends together, bowled leagues together, had a lot of fun. We also had a good, sex life. We were having cuddling times, regular sex, great foreplay, she was pretty open to positions and trying things.
When we first got together she was working miscellaneous retail jobs. She had a 4 year college degree at this point as well but never even tried to find a job utilizing it. I was fine with her working whatever made her happy. I work in IT/Tech. I have always been the higher earner, making almost double her salary up until a couple years ago. I never once said anything about this, never gave her crap for making less or the job she worked. I only encouraged her to find a job she enjoyed. I went years, never saying anything that might hurt her, even when I was working 50-60+ hours of work in a tough field at a job I hated while she worked maybe 20-30 hours a week in a super easy job of her choosing. After about 10 years of us being together she finally decided to go back to school for computer science. To support her doing this we lived in a couple places and worked jobs I absolutely hated to make sure she could finish school without any pressure. Again, I never said anything to her about this, I did it so she could be happy. She ended up finishing and getting an extremely good paying tech job after a few years, around the time that I noticed the biggest changes about her. Prior to her latest job and changes, we were OK for a few years. We starting doing well together as we were both earning well and have no kids.
Start of problems:
After we were married for a few years she started changing. She stopped wanting to do things together, we went out less and less. Stopped watching shows and movies together, stopped gaming together. She started treating sex like a burden, made me feel bad for even trying to initiate it. She became more of a prude, stopped wanting to do almost anything sexual, stopped wanting cuddling/petting, lost almost all interest in foreplay that wasn't directly for her, she lost all interest in any type of intimacy, cuddling, foreplay, or really anything that isn't about her getting off.
I feel that I have been extremely patient over the years about all of this. She has some back issues (self inflicted, she was having soreness and pain but continued a workout regimen that was obviously not right and causing issues. I have tried to be understanding and accommodating since she had these issues. Sex was never really a big issue, even with the back problems we had a decent sex life until the last 5 or so years. She started wanting to do less and it really felt like she was just trying to get it over with (outside of when I was pleasuring her and getting her off. Once that was done it was like hurry up and finish.
More recently, last couple of years she has had 0 interest in sex or even anything physical. I mean I can barely kiss her, cant touch her at all without some excuse that it tickles or some other BS. No cuddling as she says I always pressure for sex, BS, I love foreplay and am happy with mutual getting off. I have mentioned the lack of intimacy, mentioning that is had been months since we did anything and it is always some excuse or a suggestion it may happen this weekend (going on 20+ " this weekend" without anything) . She has almost every excuse in the book as to why she doesn't want to without really having a good reason. She will blame her back bugging her but will then do a lot of work that is physically punishing, especially to someone with back issues and despite the fact that I said I would do it or try to help. I have also gotten several different things to help, wedge pillow to help with her back, tried it once and had some random complaint that I forget. She had mentioned trying a swing so she could have support in different positions. I found several options and she then made excuses about all of them, the primary one being support for the swing. I eventually called her on this being BS when the new house we got had a chain mount in one of the bedrooms ( looked like it was possibly for a heavy punching bag) that would be perfect for a swing and I tested it holding my full weight. I again mentioned getting a swing to make things better to only get additional excuses.
Further Issues:
We had always talked about wanting to move back to California and get a house there when we had the chance. We had also talked about houses we would like and things like that. When we started seriously talking about getting a house, she said she would check with work ahead of time about being able to move to another state as we had discussed, she did not. I don't think she even talked to her boss about it. She just refused to move outside of this state as she said her job required her to be her even though her boss lives in a completely different country.
When the time actually came to find and buy a house it did not work out the way I guess I had expected. Eventually, we purchased a house here after several fights as she decided she wanted a cheaper house to fix up. Not even considering the amount of work and money it would take to do so. One of her "options" was a run down ranch house that had a surprise renter (9 months left on a lease) in a very obviously water damaged basement. She picked out this house so she continued to try to justify buying it for about 100k over what it should be sold for. After about a week of looking at shitty houses and fighting she finally agreed to look at one of the houses I had chosen, the house we eventually purchased. It was a bit more but had almost all of our wants without the need to fix it up.
For the purchase, she provided the down payment from her inheritance and jointly financed the house. Once the purchase was finished and we moved in she changed, a lot. Things became more about what she wanted, she would mention things to me but completely ignore any input and just talk like what she wanted is what I chose too. Her dad then decided to visit and this was the largest wake up call I think I have had. I saw him doing all of the things that she does that annoy and frustrate me. I then realized that if I stay with her, dealing with this is my future. He took over the house and she treated me like an asshole for just wanting a bit of space that I could have to myself. She refused to deal with him or reign in his behavior. I think it was around this time that I realized that it felt like I didn't even have a home even though we just bought one, that I was just a wallet to help pay bills.
We ended up having a fight about this and I ended up leaving and staying at a hotel for a few days. This is where it got really eye opening as I considered this fight as something we would think about and get over. However, the first thing she did was talk to her friend and then reach out to divorce lawyers. She mentioned that she was talking to them about post nuptials to make sure she got the house and money. This was a signal to me, that she did not consider nor seem to appreciate all of the years that I spent working jobs I hated to supplement our income and cover for her while she went back to school. All it seemed she saw was that she got money now so the house and all of it was hers. She made a comment about how she felt the money, stocks, and house were hers. She added that she wanted a post nuptial to define this so I shouldn't be surprised if I get one to sign. Unsurprisingly, she never actually got this done, never mentioned it more so I am assuming she just got lazy and never followed up. One thing that stood out to me was that she mentioned that she could not afford the house by herself. She rambled off several things about us just being roommates and me continuing to pay for the house and bills. She came up with something about me paying and her giving me money back later or something, I ignored most of it as it was dumb, I.E. me leaving my checks going into our shared account and continuing to pay like I have been but doing so knowing she plans on keeping the house and that I might get some money later if she ever sold it. She also made a comment that I did a good job with the stocks so I should keep doing that for her and she would give me like a 1k in a few years. Since I started working with the portfolio and diversified the stocks I have made over 40k in gains for it so yeah I ignored this as I felt like it was insulting. This whole fight and conversation hit me hard, especially after 15+ years of me working hard, shitty jobs, to provide for us just to get slapped in the face by greed.
We ended up talking a bit after that fight after I ended up stopping by the house. She had mentioned previously about going to marriage counseling. I told her I didn't think it would help with our situation considering what the issues were but if she was willing to go and actually participate, I would be too. We ended up seeing a marriage counselor as she had suggested it previously and I wanted to try everything to make this work. I had previously mentioned that I didn't think it would work as she refuses to open up or discuss her issues with anyone and if she wont do that, it is a moot point. She said she would so we found a counselor and we went for a couple of months. During this time I was very open about my thoughts and feelings and gave the counselor details on my issues. She however, did not provide anything ahead of time, participate much, would not open up, and eventually said that we might as well not go as she didn't feel like we were gaining anything.
Turning Point:
I think the f*ck it point, straw that broke the camels back for me is that about a month ago, around 10 months or so since we had any kind of intimacy we had a fight. During the fight she admitted that she actually masturbates fairly regularly which really, really pissed me off as she knows the lack of sex and any kinds of intimacy was a big issue for me and was causing a lot of frustration. I was quiet about it as what I would have said would have started a big fight. I am now struggling because I cant really get over the fact that she shows me no interest, wont let me touch her, we haven't had sex in months and she admits to masturbating instead of having sex with me when she knows I am extremely sexually frustrated. To me, this shows her lack of caring about me and shows that she only really cares about herself and what she wants. This is furthered by conversations with her family I have overheard because she talks super loud on the phone and I guess she didn't realize I could hear her in the other room. This last conversation was essentially her talking about the money again and additional money she may get when her dad passes. She made the comment to them that in hindsight she would have made me sign a prenup as all of the money she has gotten and will get belongs to their family and she wants to keep it in their family. This was another moment when I was like what the hell, I am not your family?
I am torn, I have been with her for a long time, I do care for her, but she shows no interest in being with me. No interest in a relationship, doesn't want to do things together (she even said that if I want her do more things with me I have to do things she wants to do first), nothing for how I feel, what I want, no cuddling, no touching, nothing. It came down to the fact that she essentially wants a roommate that pays for her to have the house, help with chores, and helps take care of the dogs without expecting anything in return. She does not seem to get how she is, care how I feel, what I want, or really care about anything that does not benefit her.
I am at my breaking point, I have tried for years to give her everything and now as thanks, I get nothing from her. I am getting to old to keep wasting time in a loveless, sexless relationship but am also having a hard time walking away from a relationship I have been in for so long. After writing this out I am also realizing, well more wondering, what the f*ck I am doing as it seems pretty obvious I am bailing water out of a sinking boat.

Hey there m 28 from the middle east love basketball and hiking and playing video games sometimes and listening to music and chilling out and nature. I work at high-tech and I'm a huge dog person. I love san Antonio spurs I'm looking for chill people to talk to all welcome from all over the world. I'm introvert so I'm kinda shy at first but I'm pretty chill So if you think you like the post shoot a message Ps. Please no politics I get it there's a war but I don't really want to get into this stupid argument. Thank you guys I appreciate it 😊 love you

Hey there m 28 from the middle east love basketball and hiking and playing video games sometimes and listening to music and chilling out and nature. I work at high-tech and I'm a huge dog person. I love san Antonio spurs I'm looking for chill people to talk to all welcome from all over the world. I'm introvert so I'm kinda shy at first but I'm pretty chill So if you think you like the post shoot a message Ps. Please no politics I get it there's a war but I don't really want to get into this stupid argument. Thank you guys I appreciate it 😊 love you

Hey there m 28 from the middle east love basketball and hiking and playing video games sometimes and listening to music and chilling out and nature. I work at high-tech and I'm a huge dog person. I love san Antonio spurs I'm looking for chill people to talk to all welcome from all over the world. I'm introvert so I'm kinda shy at first but I'm pretty chill So if you think you like the post shoot a message Ps. Please no politics I get it there's a war but I don't really want to get into this stupid argument. Thank you guys I appreciate it 😊 love you

I Went to play chess with curiosity's father. He is a good friend of mine. We played 4 games. I lost all of them. I played 1 game against his youngest daughter, who i'll just call V.
She is 8 years old, but she knows how to play. Curiosity's son was there, he is 4 years old now. He was asking me about the game. Where i got it, he told me that it looked pretty. Sweet kid.
Curiosity was nowhere to be found. All those chess games, i kept thinking about her. Bothered the hell out of myself. Had to keep telling myself to focus on the game.
Me and curiosity had a short brief time, where we both knew we were both interested in each other. But we were to young, i was to shy, i wasn't a man then. I was still a boy.
And she was just a girl. Shes beautiful though. The most beautiful young woman i've seen in mexico. Beauty is so much. A tragic reality.
You know that game of chess. I'm pure offensive, and curiosity's father is both a defensive player and an expert attacker.
We spoke a bit about the game. How a persons personality shows in the way they play. Those that knew me, how were my messages? So direct, so heavy, text wall after text wall. And attack of emotions. A flood, under no control.
Thats how i play chess. And i lose every time. I asked him, mid our second game. 45 years of life, whats the most important lession you've learned.
He told me it was controlling himself, his emotions. Something i wish to strive towards. He laughed when i mentioned that i'd finally beat him when i change my personality.
Can newness be my personality? To change? How? And how often? Into who? Would i still be the same man that can be loved?
God knows everyone could've used a chris in more control of his emotions. Damn shame he came to late. Checkmate. Chris' king fell over. And we lost the game.
How about another game? More defensive this time. More patient, wiser.
Till i learn.

First/Previous
The travel took on a less gloomy quality in the day that passed since Gemma’s self-reflection and although there remained a queer distance in her eyes, she seemed in better spirits in losing the weight of the words.
It was a night just beyond Wabash Crevasse that we pushed on till sunset was almost upon us and we were each tired and the food stocks ran low and so we found harbor in a half collapsed cellar where a home once stood; it was only after examining the slatted, rotted boards of the old place, fallen over, tired with decay, that we spied the cellar doors intact; sheets of door metal plied us with safety from the outside world and the interior of the place stank of mold and the deeper recesses were collapsed, but there was a cradle to crossbar the stair hatch and I put my prybar there for the night. We finished the water and canned tomatoes, and I smoked a cigarette, staving off the inevitable doom which would come with the dwindling of our supplies.
I’d peeked through the space where the doors met at the cellar’s entry and watched the full darkness there while the youngins spoke of life and the trivial pursuits of it and I hardly said a word besides.
Sitting on the lowest step with Trouble dumbly maintaining her station by me, by the low glow of the space in the threshold, I saw they’d pushed their bedrolls together and Andrew had fallen asleep with his arm over Gemma’s shoulder and her eyes glowed with shine from the crack, blinked a few times while seeing me; she too eventually drifted to sleep, and I spent time by the secured door.
Gunshots rang across the stillness, and they stirred from their quiet slumber and Gemma asked, “Harlan, is it alright?”
I moved to the space there at the doorway again and listened and watched what I could through that crack and nothing beyond came. “It’s safe. I’ll be up a bit longer. I’ll watch.”
Andrew asked, “Can’t sleep?”
“I’ll sleep in a bit. Don’t worry about me. Rest. Sleep good and we can put more behind us.
They sat up, legs crossed triangle-wise, and Gemma spoke again, “Why do you have such a hard time sleeping? It seems I’m asleep after you and only awake after you too.”
“Yeah,” said Andrew.
“It’s cool at night. I can listen to the wind.” I shrugged.
“You should be the one that tries to get some sleep,” said Andrew.
I said nothing.
They reached out their arms and I shook my head.
“Here,” Gemma said, “Move your bedroll closer.” She reached across the dirt floor of the cellar and dragged my splayed roll so that it sat beside hers.
“I’ll sleep later.” I turned my attention back to the door and ignored them till their sounds of sleep could be heard. The Alukah was nowhere and did not tap on the door that night and when I moved to sleep, I shimmied onto the roll beside them, facing away on my shoulder; the dog followed, laid on the bare dirt beside me and I held the mutt.
Though I refused a noise as they stirred in the absolute darkness, I felt Gemma’s arm fall over my own shoulder and felt Andrew’s hand touch my back, and water traced the bridge of my nose and I slept deeply thereafter.
There was no breakfast without food, and the water was gone; I felt the eyes of the dog on us as we packed up our belongings that next morning and I tried not to imagine the poor animal skinned over fire. I smiled at Trouble, patted its head, scratched its chin; she sniffed my hand like she was looking for something that wouldn’t be found.
We went west again, ignoring roads and pushed through straight wasteland where nothing was and no one was, and with every dry footfall on the dry hard ground, I wished for rain, and I wished that when it had rained, as infrequent as it was, that I had been wise enough to save what we could from the sky; that sky was red and swollen and refused to burst. We pushed on through strange dead thickets where grayed and twisty yellow branches lurched from the ground into the sky like even they too wished for an end to all the suffering. It was days more till we would see Alexandria and though I could stave off hunger (thirst too, if necessary), I was not so certain that the children would be able to push on without it; they did not complain and watched the ground in our march and maintained higher spirits than I could’ve imagined from them.
Early in the day, they spoke often, and I listened and as they wore on, their words came less and even the dog seemed in a lower mood for the unsaid predicament; me too.
Gemma broke the silence on the matter by saying, “What are we going to do about food? Water?”
“We’ll push on.”
“We could turn back?” asked Andrew.
“The more time we spend out in the open, outside of a city, the more likely it is that the Alukah will catch us unawares. Tighten your belts.” Our feet took us around a dilapidated truck, an old thing with a rusty hook which dangled off a rear arm. “Save your urine.”
They made faces but did not protest.
“Does that work? You ever drink pee?” asked Andrew.
I laughed, “I thought we’d be there by now. I took us too long by trying to drop the scent of the Alukah. That thing’s hunted us for days—last night was the first time it ain’t bothered us. It’s got me wondering why.”
Gemma piped up, licking her dry lips before speaking, “Do you think that monster ran into those scavengers we saw?” Then I caught her shooting a look at Andrew, “At least we warned them.” Her smile was faint and almost indiscernible as one.
I shrugged. “Can’t say. Don’t think it’s smart to turn back. Won’t be long and we’ll touch the 40 and then it’ll be a straight on to Babylon—couple of days—can’t turn back though. Maybe without food; that’s doable. Water’s the worst, but if it comes to it,” I paused and looked on the weathered faces of the children, on the lowered head of Trouble which followed her nose across the ground (it searched just short of frantic), “Like I said, ‘save your urine’.”
The first pains of hunger held within me brought up some reminiscence and I wished for nothing more than to hold Suzanne; I could nearly smell them and in the swaying walk which took us on past toppled townships, I held long blinks where I could nearly make out their face and if I really pushed the limits of my imagination, I could feel them. In those moments, as we passed dead places, rotted pits of despair, I could think of little more than their presence. Though I knew it was a dangerous game, hoping for more than I was worth, I hoped for Suzanne then and I wished that I’d taken them up on their offer to travel to Alexandria with them; it could’ve been home—it never was in all the times I’d gone there, but who knows? The thoughts of Babylon brought forth their gardens; the wild gardens and the water which flowed freely through their pipes. I wished I was a different person entirely and that too would’ve been better for Suzanne; how it was that they’d seen anything in me, I don’t know. How it was that they could stoop to the level of being with someone like me—I warded off that thought, because to place the blame there would certainly be unfair. I thought of my love plainly and wanted a different life more suited to them.
Imaginations played more furiously, and I remembered the evening when Dave stopped me from leaping from that roof—it’s doubtful that he even realized that he’d slowed my demise; perhaps he did know—I wished then that I could ask him. Too kind for the world. People too kind for the world were scarce and hardly worth the trouble. Yet, there I was, chaperoning those two across the wastes.
Gemma was a broken person when I’d found her, tortured in Baphomet’s well; Andrew was a dullard boy who’d lost his hand. What a silly predicament.
I stopped in my movements and swiveled on my heel to catch Andrew by the shoulder. “You still got your hand, don’t you?”
In good humor, the boy grinned, lifted the nub on the end of his left forearm to show me, “Nope.”
“Dammit, no! The hand in the jar!”
Andrew raised his eyebrows. “In my pack.”
“Stop,” I commanded Trouble; the dog hardly recognized my words and continued a way then circled back, sad eyes looking up from where she took to sit by my side. Gemma, both arms dangling loosely from her own pack’s shoulder straps, took into the circle we’d formed.
The girl asked, “What about the jar? It’s nasty, but I guess it’s his.”
“I think that’s it,” I said. I took Andrew by his shoulders, looked him in his eyes, “We could use it!”
“What?” The boy almost laughed in the display of our concern. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“I think I’ve got it! It’s good for a trap.” I shook him; maybe too hard. I almost smiled. “It’s worth a shot!”
“It’s mine.” He bit his top lip, withdrew from me.
“You’ll feel differently about that,” I said.
Gemma placed a hand on Andrew’s pack and tried ripping it open. “Give it to him!” shouted the girl.
The boy whipped from her grasp, and he spun on his feet, and panic stood on his face. “It’s mine, isn’t it?”
I took a step forward, “No, not anymore.” I put out my palm, “Give it.”
Andrew nearly flinched at the thought of it and shook his head a little. “Why?”
“I told you why,” I said.
“You don’t even know if it’ll work, do you?” his words were long in protest.
The girl started again, “Andrew, please.”
He locked eyes with Gemma and once again, his bottom teeth came up to meet over his top lip and he moved his jaw methodically with contemplation.
“What does it even matter?” she asked.
“It’s mine. You don’t know what it’s like.”
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
“C’mon,” he said, but his pack straps fell from his shoulders, and he hunkered down on the ground and opened his bag; his right hand plunged into the recesses therein and withdrew the jar with his severed left hand. He held the object up, refusing to come up from his open pack, keeping his eyes on the ground. “Take it then.” He shook the jar; its contents sloshed with liquid decay.
I grabbed the thing, held it to skylight; the remains within had congealed and rotted and lumps nearly floated in the brownish liquid which had formed in the base of the container. I shook it and stared for a moment at the miniscule debris which floated alongside the hand; each of its digits had swollen and erupted to expose bone; some had come away in pieces. “Tomorrow,” I said and nodded.
We gathered ourselves and Andrew pulled his pack on again and we moved, Trouble still looked sorry and the boy remained quiet while the girl chattered on with questions while we took through the dying ground in a formation with the dog on point then me then the children.
“What will you do with it?” she asked me.
“Not sure yet.”
Andrew made a noise like he wanted to say something but didn’t.
“You think it will work?” asked Gemma.
“Nothing’s a guarantee. They’re smart—Alukah.”
“Smart enough to figure out a trap?”
I shrugged. “We’ll find out.”
“We could put stakes in a pit.”
“Keep on the lookout for a building. Something with multiple floors.”
With that, we moved on, found a worn, mostly destroyed road and we fell into a travelling quiet and the thought of hunger or thirst arose again, and I pushed it down—though I knew the uneasiness could only last so long before savagery would overtake the human condition; the kids seemed strong enough, but I kept an eye on the dog too. Savagery belonged not only to humans, after all.
The ground of the wastes was harder when it was quiet, and it was flatter further west. The sky—red and full of thin and transparent drifting clouds—seemed an awful sight when stared at for too long; it was the thing which stretched as if to signal there wasn’t an end in any direction, as if to declare we had much more to go till safety. Wanderlust is a thing that I believe I’ve felt before, but under that sky, with those two and the dog, I didn’t feel it at all. It was doom that I felt. Ignorance and doom. And it was all because I was certain I’d made all the wrong mistakes, and it was coming back to me. I was experienced. We should’ve had food and water. Perhaps there was some deep and nasty part inside of me that had intended to sacrifice them along the way. The words of the Alukah might have rung true: You say you make no deals, but I smell it. I think you’d deal.
Surely, I felt differently. Surely.
“Getting darker,” called Andrew as we came to where signposts—worn and bent and barely legible—told us of a place once called Annapolis and the buildings were nearly gone entirely; places, maybe places that were once homes, were leveled—I was briefly caught in imagining what it might’ve been like all those ages ago. As are most places, it was haunted like that and when we came to a long rectangular structure of metal walls—thin walls—we took it as a place for rest for the night.
It once served as an agricultural station, for when we breached its entry, there were a line of dead machines—three in all—cultivators or tillers which stood higher than any of our heads and Gemma asked what they were, and I told her I thought they were for farming. The great rusted bodies stood in quiet shadow as we came through a side passage of the building and the great doors which had once been used to release those machines from the building stood frozen in their frame. I approached the doors, lighting my lantern and motioning for the children to shut the door we’d entered through.
Upon closer inspection, it seemed the doors would roll into the ceiling and the chains which held the doors in place were each secured with rusted padlocks—I removed my prybar from my pack and moved along the wall of doors, giving each old lock a smack with the weapon; each one held in place, seemingly fused there through years of corrosion, and I rounded the cultivators once more, back to the children, near the side door where they’d discovered a rickety stair frame which crawled up the side of the wall to a catwalk; along the catwalk, a levitated box stood at the height of the structure, stilted by metal legs, and we took the stairs slowly with the dog following close behind; the poor mutt was mute save the sound of its own shuffling paws.
The metal stairs creaked under our weight and Gemma held her own lantern high over her head so that the strange shadows of the place grew longer, stranger, and suddenly I felt very sure that something was in the dark with us, but there was no noise except what we made. My eyes scanned the darkness, and I followed the children up the stairs till we met the overhang of the catwalk and I peered into the shadows, the blades of the cultivators—far extended on foldable arms—struck up through the pool of blackness beneath us and I felt so cold there and if it were not for the breath of my fellow travelers, I might have been lost in the dark for longer than intended—lost and frozen and contemplative.
“There’s a room,” said the boy, and he pushed ahead on the hanging passage, and he was the first to the door. “Boxes,” he said plainly.
Upon coming to the place where he stood, Gemma pushed her lantern over the threshold, and I saw what he’d meant as I traced my own lantern to help; the room was crammed with plastic totes and old metal containers of varied sizes. There seemed to be enough empty space to maneuver through the room, but only if one watched their feet while they walked. Carefully.
We moved to the room, and I found a stack of crates to place my lantern then motioned for Gemma to douse hers. In minutes, the place was rearranged so that we could sit comfortably on the floor; crates lined the walls precariously and we breathed heavy from the work done, but we began to unpack and upon watching the children while I rolled a cigarette, I felt a pang of guilt, a terrible summation—all choices in my life had led me here and with them and perhaps it would have been a better world for them without me.
Mentally shrugging this thought away, I lit my cigarette, inhaled deeply, and then withdrew the jar which Andrew had handed over. I held it to the lantern to examine it. The grotesqueness of it hardly phased me and I watched it more curious and hopeful than disgusted.
“I hope it’ll work,” said the boy, “Whatever it is that you plan on doing with it.” He grimaced and maintained a further silence in patting his bedding for fluff. The dog moved to him, and she pushed her forehead against him where he squatted on floor. The boy scratched Trouble’s chin and whispered, “Good girl,” into the top of her head where he’d pushed his own face.
“I’m hungry,” said Gemma; she placed her chin in her arm while watching Andrew with the dog. She sat on her own flat bed there on the floor and stated plainly the thing that I’d hoped to ignore for longer.
“I know.” I took another drag from the cigarette and let the smoke hang over my head. “The dog?”
Andrew recoiled, pulling Trouble closer into his arms.
I smiled. “It was a joke.”
Andrew relaxed, but only a moment before Gemma added, “Maybe.”
The boy narrowed his eyes in the girl’s direction, and she shrugged. “If it’s life or death.”
He didn’t say anything and merely continued stroking Trouble’s coat.
That night, we slept awfully and even in the complete darkness, I felt the cramp of the storage room and the angled shapes of the tools that protruded from the containers on all sides remained permanent well after we’d turned the light off and it felt like those shapes were the teeth of a great creature like we were sitting inside of its mouth, looking out.
Trouble positioned herself partially on my chest, her slow rhythmic breathing brought my thoughts calm and I whispered to her in the dark after I was sure the others were asleep, “I promise it was a joke.” And I brushed the back of her neck with my hand and the animal let go of a long sigh then continued that deep rhythmic breathing.
Still without food or water, the following day was the true indication of the misery to come. Gemma’s stomach growled audibly in waking and Andrew—though he kept his complaints to himself—smacked his lips more often or protruded the tongue in his mouth in a starvation for water. The room, in the daylight which peered through pinpricks of its half-decayed roof, seemed another beast altogether from its nighttime counterpart; it was not so frightening. Again, I admonished myself for the lack of preparation, but there was another thought that brought together a more cohesive feeling; we had a possible plan, a trap for the demon that’d been following us.
We went into the field to the west of the building where there was only dirt beneath our feet in the early sunlight and in the coolness of morning air, I nearly felt like a person. The sun crested the horizon and brought with it a warmth that would quickly become overwhelming—in those few minutes though—it felt good enough. I wished for the shy dew and saw none. The weirdness of holding Andrew’s rotting hand in a jar momentarily caught me and I almost laughed, but refrained and the dog and the children looked on while I held the container up and suddenly, seeing the congealed mass of tissue floating in its own excretions, I was overcome with the urge to run, the urge that nothing would ever be right again in my life, and that I was marked to be that way.
I blinked and tossed the jar to Andrew. “Say goodbye,” I said. He fumbled after it with his right hand and caught it to his chest.
“It’s strange you care so much anyway,” said Gemma, shrugging—her eyes forgave a millisecond of pity and when Andrew looked at her, still holding the jar in his right hand, she smiled and stuffed her hands into the pockets of her pants.
“We’ve enough oil, I think,” my voice was raspy from it being early, “Enough for good fire, but if we use it, it’ll mean a few more dark nights on our way.”
“We’re going to set it on fire?” Andrew pondered, keeping his eyes to the contents of the jar. “It worked good enough last time. It’ll work,” I nodded, “I has to, doesn’t it?”
His dry lips creased into a brief smile, and he tossed the jar back to me and I caught it.
“Let’s dig,” I said.
Without much in the way of proper tools, we began at the ground under us with our hands, then taking turns with my prybar till there was a hole in the ground comfortably large enough to conceal a human head and I uncapped the jar and spilled it contents there and we covered it back and I lightly tamped it with my boot. My eyes scanned the outbuilding we’d taken refuge in the night prior and then to the street to the north then to the houses which stood as merely rotted plots of foundation with frames that struck from the ground more as markers than support. “I’ll take up over there across the street when it gets dark. I want you two in that storage room before anything goes off.”
“We can’t help?” asked Gemma.
“You can help by staying out of the way—the mutt too,” I said; the words were harsh, but my feelings were from worry.
“Wouldn’t it be better if we stuck together?” asked the girl.
I shook my head. “You stay in the room and keep quiet. No matter what you hear, you stay quiet and safe.”
“That’ll put you at a bigger risk,” Gemma furrowed her brow at me and shifted around to look out on the houses across the street, “There’s hardly any cover over there.”
The boy nodded, smacked his lips, and rubbed his forearm across his mouth then audibly agreed with her.
“Doesn’t matter,” I said, “No matter what you hear happening outside, no matter, you don’t open the door and you don’t scream—don’t make a noise at all. Alright? Even if you hear me calling you, you don’t do it.”
“Pfft,” Gemma crossed her arms and kicked her foot against the ground. The way her eyes seemed hollowed with bruising showed that the irritation would only grow without food. “Alright,” she finally sighed.
Andrew looked much the same as she did in that; he swallowed a dry swallow then stuffed his hand into his pocket and looked away when our eyes matched.
We gathered our light oil. Altogether, it seemed enough; rummaging through the room of the outbuilding we’d earlier taken refuge within, we managed three intact glass containers—the only ones found that wouldn’t leak with liquid; two were bottles and the third was the jar that’d once kept Andrew’s hand. With that work done, we sat with three Molotov cocktails within our huddled circle of the storage room.
“Is it enough?” asked Gemma.
“We’ll see,” I began rolling a cigarette to ignore the hunger and the thirst.
Andrew took to the corner and glanced over his shoulder only a moment before a steady liquid stream could be heard and when he rotated from the wall once the noise was finished and he held a canteen up to his nose, sniffed it and quivered and shook his head.
As the sun pushed on, I scanned the perimeter outside, and they followed. Far south I spied a mass of shadow inching across the horizon and Gemma commented, “What’s that?”
I pushed the binoculars to her and let her gaze through them.
“A fiend—that’s what we called it back in the day anyway. A mutant.”
She held the binoculars up and frowned. “A mutant? So, it was once human?”
“A fiend was once many humans.” I pointed out to the horizon though she couldn’t see me doing so and continued, “If you look at the edges of its shape, you’ll see it’s got limbs galore on it. Sticking up like hairs is what it’ll look like at this distance. Those are arms and legs. It’s got faces too. Many faces.” I shuddered.
“I can barely see any details,” she passed the binoculars to Andrew, and he looked through them, “What’s it do?”
“What?” I asked.
“What’s it do if it catches a person?”
“It pulls people into it. Makes you apart of its mass. Nasty fuckers.”
Andrew removed the lenses from his eyes and held them to his chest and asked, “It won’t mess up your trap, will it?”
“We’ll keep an eye on it,” I said, “You don’t want to mess with a fiend unless you have to.”
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Hey! I'm a 34 year old software developer from Brisbane, Australia. I'm into jiujitsu, rock climbing, gaming and movies. Would love a longer term friend to chat to regularly on snapchat, most guys just seem to disappear after a few minutes.
Please don't be shy about showing your face, and please be 18-35 (nobody under 18 at all).
Add me on snap and say hey: brissieguy88

Long story short and as much as it sucks to say, I haven't really experienced much of anything. I'm going to intentionally beat around the bush as to what category that "experience" falls under but I think most people should be able to figure it out lol. In other words (and if you play games), I'm a complete noob when it comes to all things girls. As for why those things haven't happened and why I want that to change.. There's a few reasons, but the main reason why I'm putting such an emphasis on this is because I'm a huge homebody and I don't go out much at all which makes it difficult to meet people. That's where Reddit comes in! The message I'm essentially trying to send is becoming physically and emotionally close with a girl is what I want the most. I want to experience it all; the laughs, excitement, curiosity, intimacy, hanging out, fun. Blame all the Disney movies I watched as a kid for that lol.
Finding someone would be a dream come true, but I'd love to find friends too if that's all you're looking for! Local or international, just let me know if that's what you want instead :) We could end up being really close friends and you'll introduce me to a friend who I end up being with? That may or may not be the plot from a romcom 🤔 So that means I definitely wouldn't be opposed to a relationship! I've obviously never been in one so I'm not exactly sure how to transition to that, haha. I totally wouldn't mind finding out, though :) Also someone to say good morning and night to, too. That would be the best even if it's incredibly cheesy.
Anyway, it could be someone with a lot of experience or someone with no experience like me, or introverted or not introverted, etc. I don't have a preference either way :) But if I were to be reaaally picky: they'd be sweet and down to earth because just cuddling on its own would be all kinds of cool. A bit about me: I'm shy, caring, kind, sweet and am normal in the weight and height categories. I want to say I'm cute in the looks department? 🙈 I'll let you decide that though lol. I think it's super fun learning about people through conversation so I'll leave the following hobbies section blank. Then again, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to give a small hint to something I love.. My username should provide clues to that! I Siriusly need to re-watch the movies again. Maybe with someone I meet through r4r?
Alright, I can't hold it in anymore. I pretty much like a little bit of everything. For example, when it comes to music, I go through Backstreet Boys phases to Disney song phases (Moana is awesome and I haven't even seen the movie 🙊) to something like Linkin Park, Paramore or 50 Cent. What I'm trying to say is I like a little bit of everything! So there's a good chance I'll like whatever you like when it comes to hobbies and interests and that means connecting with each other should be relatively natural/seamless. Or maybe that's wishful thinking on my part, haha.
I'm not the best with openers and if you're also in the same boat, then how about this: If you could have any superpower what would it be and how would you use it? Being out of this world smart like Tony Stark is an acceptable super poweanswer, by the way.
Hopefully my first impression is a good one! If anyone is even remotely interested, then just let me know and I'll get back to you asap!

ME (PICTURES) :
Love theater, art and the sea (even if I don't know how to swim xd )
Live in Spain near Portugal
Love dogs (cats are good too ofc)
Love camping
Love to do hiking, even if the weather is bad !
I would prefer to see a photo of you to see who I'm talking to ( I had bad experiences in the past for this )
I'm not shy, for conversations I prefer to do voice chats (also trying to practice my english) I speak spanish, so if you know I bit we could practice together. I traveled a lot in my early 20`s so probably if you are willing to open yourself I could do it too and have a really nice chat :)

FOR PC
Hi everyone, you can call me Surma. I'm 28 from Europe (GMT) and I've finally got myself a PC I can game on. While I enjoy playing alone, I'm also on the hunt for some fun, chill individuals to game with and become friends (1 on 1 or a group!). Please be +20 years old, your gendesexuality/timezone/nationality/religion/anything else wont matter to me, as long as you speak english enough that we can communicate (English is my 3rd language) and are polite with a knack of humor! If this ad is up, it means I'm still looking! I use discord daily, so thats where I'd like to go to!
Here are some games I've recently been really enjoying playing: - DayZ (my brainrot.) - RDR2 - Minecraft
I'm interested (and have) in games such as: - The Forest - 7 Days to Die - Among Us - Lethal Company - Left4Dead - Dead by Daylight - Demonologist - Destiny 2 - Escape the Backrooms - GTA5 - Warzone
This isn't a complete list, but ya know...im open to new games and experiences and am quick to learn!
A quick snippet of me; I'm a dog (4 giant breeds) and a cat (3 barn cats) owner, I'm a surg nurse, so my work schedule allows for pretty much any and all timezones to interact. I'm an introvert in real life but extrovert online (make it make sense...) with a love for rock/metal music, crime podcasts/horror movies and crafting/knitting/art/writing and am in a committed relationship. I’m a little shy and reserved at first, but I promise I’m fun (and chaotic) to be around once I get comfortable talking with you! I’d prefer if we can chat and talk first and get to know each other a little before gaming, so please send me a DM and lets become friends! If you have a group that you think I would fit into, don't hesitate to drop me a DM about it too! I'd love it if you could give me a little introduction of yourself in your first DM so it's easier to start a conversation ^{^} !

ME (PICTURES) :
Love theater, art and the sea (even if I don't know how to swim xd )
Live in Spain near Portugal
Love dogs (cats are good too ofc)
Love camping
Love to do hiking, even if the weather is bad !
I would prefer to see a photo of you to see who I'm talking to ( I had bad experiences in the past for this )
I'm not shy, for conversations I prefer to do voice chats (also trying to practice my english) I speak spanish, so if you know I bit we could practice together. I traveled a lot in my early 20`s so probably if you are willing to open yourself I could do it too and have a really nice chat :)

Hey, hi, hello.
I’ve been posting on and off for a few years now and I’m sure some of you are sick of seeing me. Oh well, we’re in this sub for one reason and one reason only: to find a connection and possibly a happy ending.
I’ve been told I’m too picky and too open about myself; I don’t think Im either of these things. We all have different tastes and expectations from other people and that’s fine. And yes, I am very open about who I am, shouldn’t we all be? Would save us some disappointment.
I did try numerous dating sites and chatrooms but to no avail; those whove been in the same situation know what’s that like. I have a fair share of horror stories from dating apps and who knows, one day I could share these with you!!
Before I move onto the spiel about myself and how much of a catch I am please read below:
About you:
-living the UK/Europe/US (max of 6h time difference)
-a straight man
-a homebody, with the occasional want to go out and do things
-aged 29 – 48 (I will not reply if you’re not within the age bracket)
-speak English (for communication purposes duh)
-child free (and must want to remain this way)
-MONOGAMOUS
-NO PREFERENCE HEIGHT OR BODY WISE, I’m all about a nice face
-impeccable basic personal hygiene (not expecting you smelling like your local perfume store)
-no addictions (ie excessive alcohol use, smoking and any type of illegal drugs)
-respectful, loyal, funny, affectionate, caring, loving and patient (a lot of it needed with me).
-will not demand any personal content (if you know what I eamn)
-in full time employment (if we are long distance, how else are you going to fund your travels?)
But beyond all that I’m after a best friend. Someone who will have my back until the end. Someone who will accept me for who I am and wouldn’t want to change me (I can offer the same back). Someone who will enter my life and assume the role of my partner (eventually) and join me on this rather bizarre journey called life. Don’t give up on me and I wont give up on you.
I will not respond to any messages along the lines of ‘hru’. ‘hi’.
Once again, no budging on the age or location.
If your profile contains anything inappropriate, I won’t respond either.
I think I made myself more than clear.
Just one more thing, I promise!!!!
This is not to get any attention or sympathy or help; more of a prewarning. I have met a lot of amazing people on here who got their hopes up about me and once things didn’t seem to be as amazing as this image, they had of me they left.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 12, as well as severe anxiety (no self-diagnosis here, by an actual professional). I take meds for it but some days are worse than the others. I’m also on the waiting list to get help, but like me you’re in the UK you’ll know what this is like (no issues with the NHS, they’re amazing; just overworked and understaffed). I can’t afford to go privately. At this moment in time,I am about 2 years away from seeing someone.
I suffer from fibromyalgia (if you don’t know what this is, just google it) in late 2019 after ruling everything out. I have days when I’m extremely exhausted and in a lot of pain. I still go to work and try to go on about my life as much as possible but please bear that in mind.
Ive been taking all sorts of meds too, including painkillers to control the pain.
Please don’t see me as someone hopeless or feel sorry for me. This is not the point of this confession.
My name is Anita and I’m a 29yo Eastern European woman, living in the UK just outside of Bristol. I’ve been here for the last 17 years and I consider myself England my home. I’m not considering moving back at any point in my life (however I’ll move elsewhere for the right reasons and right person). I will share my exact location once we’re acquainted a bit more.
I’m 6ft tall (yes I am this tall and I’m aware that it’s way too tall for a woman) and. weight approx 13st or 200lbs (my weight keeps fluctuating a lot and no, I’m not looking for any tips to lose weight). I dye my hair red but it’s more like ginger these days. I have green eyes (they’re useless as I wear glasses) and I wear a lot of black eyeliner lol. I guess you could say I’m kinda emo/goth?
An extreme introvert since I was a young one (definitely not shy, in fact I can get a bit volatile when it comes to standing up for myself). I don’t need to get out of my shell, so none of that please. I like my own company as well as my loved ones; and leaving the house only for work and groceries suits me well.
I’m a vegetarian (not a deal breaker if you’re not; your choice is to eat meat and mine isn’t. Respect it and you shall receive the same back). I think it’s time for everyone live and let others live too.
Tea, coffee and snack addict! (I love herbal tea with no sugar or milk; coffee wise I like a good cap or a caramel macchiato as a treat. Snack wise anything goes really. Fruit, crisps, cake and sweets!)
Bookworm (I haven’t read in a long time, I love books I promise. Just haven’t had much time lately. I have a stack of them which is growing. I need to finally find some time and immerse myself in one of many crime novels I have).
Apolitical (now, I read the news everyday but I do not support any of the parties. They don’t care about you or me, sorry to break this to you).
Animal lover (I have 4 rescued cats two boys and two girls aged between 10-11 who are my absolute life. In total, my mum and I have rescued about 60 cats in the last 10 years. We found them safe and loving homes but for some of them unfortunately it was too late).
No addictions here (I don’t drink or smoke; although I like my vapes a lot).
In my spare time (whatever I get of it) I like to go for walks, listen to music and podcasts, nap, watch tv, chill with my mum and cats, go shopping and grab a coffee with my ma, visit my brother in London, over eat, over think and read books.
I don’t really have any hobbies.
I don’t game religiously but I do enjoy sims 4 (someone told me that isn’t gaming although I’d say it’s a computer game so clues in the name but what do I know, right?) I don’t watch anime either, tried once and couldn’t get into it.
As you can tell, I’m just a relatively unremarkable human being, trying to find her place in this world. And I’m happy about that, being in the limelight is the last thing I know.
With that being said, if you managed to get through my ramblings and they somewhat resonated with you, shoot me a message.
Message me with your name, age and location and what caught your eye about my post. Don’t have to send me your picture right away; I won’t send mine until I’m comfortable enough. To show that you have read, end your message with ‘toodlepip’.
I will respond as soon as I can but please note that there might be delays in messaging back due to well… life being life I suppose.
And if you didn’t like what you read… well then scroll along, no need to let me know about this in the comments or to message me to call me names. It’s nice to be nice.
Thank you for reading this and looking forward to seeing some messages. If not, best of luck in your search!!!

Basically i dislike Elaine's character because she reminds me of my Mother who was abusive to me.
My mother to others was very kind, kind of shy, always trying to please everyone, trying to help others, but to us she either neglected us or wherever she came, she taunted us or beat us.
Elaine's character reminds of her sm, how Elaine also never helped feyre(at one point Nesta was ready to sell her body but Elaine still didnt do anything) , but how now she talks to everyone kindly so everyone treats her better than Nesta. This kinda situation reminds me of my own home situation.
My (17)mom (45) got pregnant at 16 with my elder sister(29) and left her with my grandparents. 12 years later I was born so again she left me with my grandparents but they were too old to raise me so my sister raised me. The only person i associate with the word "Mom" is my sister
Others in my family treat my mom better and sympathize with her and keep trying to act rudely my sister because my sister doesn't try to pretend to be a nice person.
Because of this I can never enjoy reading elaine's character, how in ACOWAR nesta sat by Elaine for whole months but Elaine gave Nesta a whopping two weeks to heal before she came to judge her healing ?!? Yeah i couldn't come around to it.
And now I see everyone enjoying her character and making theories etc and I feel fomo😭😂
I feel like next books will focus a lot on her and want to love reading her character, someone help me love her because I love this series so much.

23F I’m bored and wanna talk to someone, don’t be shy I love making friends 😊. I have been super busy lately and haven’t had much time to talk to people. It feels kinda lonely sometimes so I am hoping to make friends. I have also recently decided to start a new chapter in my life and one of my goals is to have more friends and have people to speak to I am a busy person so Ik I won't be around all the time which sucks but if you are okay with that and knowing that I will speak to you when I can please feel free to message me.

ME (PICTURES) :
Love theater, art and the sea (even if I don't know how to swim xd )
Live in Spain near Portugal
Love dogs (cats are good too ofc)
Love camping
Love to do hiking, even if the weather is bad !
I would prefer to see a photo of you to see who I'm talking to ( I had bad experiences in the past for this )
I'm not shy, for conversations I prefer to do voice chats (also trying to practice my english) I speak spanish, so if you know I bit we could practice together. I traveled a lot in my early 20`s so probably if you are willing to open yourself I could do it too and have a really nice chat :)

Hey all,
So a bit about me, I'm a 24 year old male from the USA. I'm a bit of a nerd, liking reading books (love philosophy like Hegel, I like to read Kafka and Kierkegaard as well) a bit of crime stories, some horror, some scientific non fiction books and I have a few atlases as well. I love geography. :) As of late, I haven't been as invested in my interested due to a bit of depression but I am improving quite a bit.
I love video games. I'm currently working on a few, including Black Mesa, Dark Souls III, and an unhealthy addiction to Warframe at the moment.
I also have a blog I've been working on as a bit of a passion project where I work on video games and write about them, take screenshots along the way, write out reviews and updates and so on. Would love to share if I connect with anyone :) Even just something for you to read out
I like all things astronomy as well - albeit only a casual knowledge of it. I like to build Legos, Finished the Saturn V rocket and working on the Discovery space shuttle at the moment.
I love television and movies, some of which being Seinfeld (huge nerd for that show), The Sopranos, movies like JAWS, 2001, Inception, Interstellar.
Music may be most important and closest to my heart. I love alternative music, shoegaze, classic rock, classical (classical guitar in particular <3), jazz, some metal.
I hope to hear from some friends soon! Only looking for something casual as I haven't been on this site in a long time and I'm not looking to shy away from coming back so soon.
Feel free to send a message even just to say hi, take care :)

Tanya was a very shy and coward girl. She always used to hide behind her parents. Her parents raised her with utmost care and love. This made her very timid. She couldn't say no to anyone if they ask anything from her. She has given so much money to scammers, just because she was afraid to argue with them. But, life wasn't difficult for her, as her parents used to do everything for her.
Tanya being bright student, went on to clear the engineering entrance exam very easily and got into a reputed college easily. But, unfortunately it was in a different city. Her parents thought, it would be good for her to be independent and more brave. So they get her admitted to the college and drop off her at hostel.
--few weeks later ---
The rainy friday evening of the city has made the mood extremely romantic. The scene shifts from the rainy mountains to the farm house in that area. As the scene zooms in, a loud yet pleasing moaning sound is heard from the farm house. The scene shits to the inside of farm house and it pans on the stairs and the upstairs is in focus. The scene then begins at the beginning of the bedroom door where the moaning sound is becoming more prominent. As the scene begins inside the room the t shirt of the guy is lying. The yellow thin transparent saree of a girl is lying spread across the room. The pant of guy is lying on the saree , with blouse which is torn is lying across the pant. Her bra is found to be hanging on the bed side lamp. Her petticoat which is at the bed stand is the final piece of her clothing on the ground. Her torn panty is no where to be found.
On top of bed, lies the shy Tanya with her legs spread as much as possible to accomodate her dusky senior who is sweating heavily pounding the Virgin beauty. Her soft palms with fingers is gripping his muscular back....
Discord: tanyarp
Hmu if you like to play the dusky guy with the below details.
1) your links 2) asl 3) reference pic for my character as described in the plot 4) I am looking for roleplaying. So, I expect atleast little bit of buildup and not directly into sexting. So, if you are looking for quick ending, this might not be for you
Have a great day everyone!

Hii! My name is Lydia and I live on the east coast. I’m on overnight nurse so extra brownie points if stay up late! I like doing anything outdoors like running, hiking, camping, and swimming (I absolutely love the beach). I also like traveling, road trips, exploring new places, and going to concerts. I love playing video games, reading, crocheting, baking, and gardening. Right now I’ve been playing Baldur’s Gate 3 but I also play fortnite, overwatch 2, and stardew valley. I use to play animal crossing, smite, grand theft auto v, and red dead redemption 2 a lot but I have a lot of other games. I absolutely love horror and anything witchy. I collect stuffed animals and watch animé. I can be a little bit shy at first because I do have anxiety. Sorry for the brick wall of text :)