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In a bright yellow wig, her hair up to high heavens, and a massive black coat with a pair of matching black boots that go up to cover above the coat, Molly Moppit walks in. With a smile on her face, Molly Moppit looks up at the pink wallpaper of the room. “I want that.” Molly smirks, ripping off her coat to reveal a minidress made out of the same pink wallpaper of the werkroom. “Mopped it!”
Molly looks around at the empty room. “…and nobody here to see me stun.” She shrugs. “Pity for them!”
Molly Moppit: “I’m Molly Moppit, and I’m here to run away with the competition.” Molly winks.
“This table’s cuuute.” Molly looks over at the table, before running to a sculpture on the side of the workroom and trying to pull at the sculpture, before realizing it’s glued to the floor. “FUCK!”
Molly Moppit: “I am currently based in New Jersey, but I'm a New York staple, as well.” Molly grins. “First and foremost, I’m a NEW JERSEY DRAG QUEEN.”
“What about the…” Molly swipes at a coat hanger, tucking it behind her back.
Molly Moppit: “Being an Atlantic City Queen means being ready to do what you can to survive. It’s a cutthroat lifestyle, and that’s fine. It taught me to host, perform, serve looks, make ‘em laugh… and it’ll help me to win.”
“You saw nothing.” Molly smiles.
A lone tumbleweed rolls into the werkroom as clouds of red dust fill the entrance. There are two loud bangs, and on the far wall of the room, two bullet holes tear into the eyes of a hanging portrait of Chronologica.
Molly looks over as the portrait falls to the ground, the glass of the frame shattering loudly. When she looks back, a masked bandit stands amidst their midst, blowing smoke from his old-timey pistol. In a cowboy hat, long black jacket, beaded vest, and denim chaps, Ethan Angel-Eye glowers, his nose and mouth hidden behind a vigilante’s black bandana.
The room is silent for a long moment.
Molly Moppit: “It’s a Mexican Stand-Off. And I’m NOT talking.”
Molly and Ethan stare at each other.
Ethan Angel-Eye: “Please welcome the best performer this side of the Mississippi, your very own Apache-Dakota bandit vigilante drag king, and the only person here who actually needs to win. I’ve beaten Kaneq and Vitória in lip sync competitions, I’ve out-danced professionally trained celebs; I’m unstoppable onstage and I’m always providing that debonaire dastardly Western rogue fantasy. I’m Ethan Angel-Eye, and I’ve got my eye on this crown.”
“The fuck are you supposed to be?” Ethan asks, looking Molly up and down as he strides into the room, his voice low and gravelly.
“I’m Molly Moppit, what the fuck YOU supposed to be?” Molly raises an eyebrow.
Molly Moppit: “Are we cosplaying as ugly men this season?”
“Cute.” Ethan brushes past Molly, and then hops up on one of the werkroom tables, sinking into a menacing squat and looming over the space like a vulture.
“It’s pinker here than I thought it’d be.” Ethan glares, looking at her wallpaper look.
Molly scoffs. “Course it’s pink. Do you watch the show?”
“Do you watch the show?” Ethan parrots back, doing a crude impression of Molly’s voice. “I breathe this show.”
Ethan Angel-Eye: “I am not a pretty faerie princess, and I am not everyone’s cup of tea, but I know how to win this, in and out. Some petty little bitch isn’t getting in my way.”
“Ooooh, he’s a hater. Love.” Molly laughs, looking up at Ethan as he perches on the table. “What’s your name, my little masked bandit? Here to take some shots at me?”
“Ethan Angel-Eye.” Ethan cocks his head to the side. “My shots don’t miss.”
“Neither do mine.” Molly smirks.
Ethan looks around, as he realizes a button of his top has gone missing.
A tall, proud Indian woman struts out from the werkroom entrance, with many elaborate blue hair clips and a strikingly long blue gown which cascades in wave-like shapes behind her into a long train. She gestures broadly with her hands, emphasizing each syllable of her words as if they’re the most important thing anyone’s ever said. “WA-TER-FALL!!!!”
Niagara Halls: “New York in the HOUSE what-what!! Hey divas, it’s me, your Desi-American god-DESS of season 6, here to bring upstate pageantry and that Canadian border flair to your screens. I KNOW I’m serving as a pageant fashion icon in this entrance look, you can’t tell me otherwise. Don’t I look GORGEOUS?!”
Niagara Halls twirls, the blue gown’s long train wrapping around her feet, then swirling back out again, where it smacks Molly in the knee.
“Um, hello, waterfall woman.” Molly exclaims, pulling away to avoid being smacked again.
“Hello, hello!” Niagara Halls waves an emphatic wave to Molly and Ethan before daintily picking up her gown’s train with one hand and gently striding to sit at the werkroom table Ethan is perched on. “How are we?”
Molly reaches over and snatches a hair clip from Niagara’s hair, causing several long brown locks to tumble into Niagara’s face.
“Oh! You–” Niagara looks baffled. “So it’s gonna be THAT kind of season!”
Ethan rolls his eyes, looking decidedly down at the two girls.
Molly laughs. “No, oh my gosh! I just love these clips! Where’d you get them?”
Niagara pulls the fallen hair out of her face and clips it into another one of her clips, chuckling. “You WISH I would tell you. You could use the help with that mop!”
“MOP!” Molly bursts out laughing. “You don’t even know!”
“What’s your drag, what’s your name, who are you both? I need to know who I’m demolishing here.” Niagara smiles a huge smile, talking with her hands again.
“But where is the clips from?” Molly asks.
“I-” Niagara looks into the mirror.
“...You didn’t buy the clips?!” Molly says dramatically, putting on a gasping face. “Who did?!”
“What’s your names?” Niagara smiles awkwardly.
Niagara Halls: “My Drag Mother helped with the outfit! I don’t know!”
“I’m Molly Moppit.” Molly grins. “Atlantic City roya–”
Ethan interrupts. “Ethan Angel-Eye. And you’re Niagara Halls.”
Niagara enthusiastically tosses her hair (and all of its clips) back and forth. “I KNOW you know me, that’s right, that’s right!”
Ethan nods. “You lost Miss Toronto to Vitória Benedita.”
Niagara gasps.
Niagara Halls: “How did this MAN KNOW me?!”
Ethan Eagle-Eye: “Does no one look at reddit on their way to the season? Scope the competition out.”
A mysterious black mist seeps through the entrance of the werkroom, followed by a devilish laugh. Lokii struts in, and flips a green cape, revealing their face and leather-clad body. Golden horns, almost corrupted with black veins connected to his face, just from Lokii’s forehead. In thin black hands, Lokii holds a corrupted golden scepter and a smoke machine. She smirks, and her Londoner accent is obvious when she speaks. “I am Lokii, of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.”
“We’re all stealing something, aren’t we?” Molly jokes.
“I don’t get it.” Niagara says.
“Loki. Marvel.” Ethan says gruffly.
“Welcome, nerd.” Molly smiles, as Lokii runs over.
Lokii blushes deep red. “Oh my gosh. Hello!”
Lokii: “I’m Lokii, and low-key? Aye, I’m pretty bloody psyched to be here! I’m 22 years old, visiting from across the pond by way of South London, and like, I’m pretty new to drag, but cosplay has been a huge part of my life since I was really young, and I’ve felt really called to take it in this new direction!”
“So are you really called Lokii? Like the Norse god?” Molly investigates every inch of Lokii’s outfit.
“The… Disney character?” Niagara ponders. “I don’t watch superhero movies.”
“They are.” Ethan flexes his ankles, looking at Lokii with an intense stare. “You’re the Tumblr cosplayer, right?”
Lokii nods, smiling. “Yeah! Loki was the first character I did in cosplay. We have a long history, he and I!”
“And so you came to Chronologica’s Drag Race dressed up in your little Marvel cosplay character!” Niagara chuckles nastily.
Lokii laughs awkwardly, making their way to the table. “Yep!”
“You look incredible, by the way.” Lokii smiles at Niagara. “This is a really beautiful garment.”
“I KNOW, baby, thank you.” Niagara smiles daggers. “You’re pretty new, right?”
Lokii looks surprised. “Oh, I–”
“JUST teasing!” Niagara laughs.
Lokii: “I have.. Not been doing drag, that long. But I have been crafting, designing and MAKING things for years. I think that’s my edge…” Lokii smiles slightly awkwardly.
Ethan Angel-Eye: “So far, the girls are…childish.”
“Wait, what’s this?” Lokii picks up a brown paper bag on one of the werkroom tables and reads something written on it in sharpie. “Barf bags…for if you gag too hard?”
Niagara makes a face. “What the fuck?”
Suddenly, in a sculpted silver one-piece with sharp ridges and bulky shoulders, a stylized mop of blonde and pink curls, super-shadowed fierce makeup and chunky black boots with chains, Lady Gag arrives. In an exact recreation of one of Lady Gaga’s looks from the 2009 VMAs, she purrs. “Dirty pony, I can’t wait to hose you down.”
Ethan makes an obvious look of disgust. Niagara stops laughing very suddenly. Molly laughs even harder.
“HEAVY METAL LOVER!” Lokii yells, before covering her mouth as if she is in fear of being too loud.
Lady Gag: “When our Lord and Saviour Gaga said ‘No matter gay, straight, or bi', lesbian, transgender life?” Lady Gaga smirks. “She was talking first and foremost about me. Are you gagging? I’m Lady Gag, foremost Gaga impersonator of Miami, Florida, and the most gag-worthy woman known to man. Mama I am known to man, if you know what I mean.”
Lady Gag strikes poses in the entrance, twisting her arms into strange shapes and cocking her head at strange angles. “Everyone, just imagine Alejandro is playing over this.”
“I’m imagining it.” Molly says, smiling and still laughing.
Niagara looks nonplussed, Ethan looks dismissive, and Lokii looks shy, but Molly warmly greets Lady Gag with a firm handshake.
“Welcome, Miss Gaga, welcome! You’re giving very 2000 and late! I’m Molly Moppit. Atlantic City roya–”
“MRS. Moppit.” Lady Gag stops her, putting a hand up. “Don’t try to read me with those smile lines and bags under your eyes. I’m 2000 and fresh off the boat if you ever saw it. You will not be coming for me on this, the day of my arrival.”
Molly’s jaw drops. She looks thrilled.
Niagara smiles softly. “You’re going to talk about her looks when you’re a copy-and-paste baby? LOVE to see a tiny little fighter.”
Niagara Halls: “The good thing about doing drag that’s literally on the Canadian-American border is that I can leave the worst of both sides behind. Canadians, watch out: I will NOT be apologizing for my shade! And I can say THIS… who the fuck is Lady Gag?”
“Your shade needs work, I think.” Lady Gag says. “It’s about as dark as midday in FLORIDA. I would know.”
Ethan’s eyes give away his smile. He sits back on the table, relaxing for the first time, to listen to the girls snip back and forth.
Ethan Angel-Eye: “I’m watching these girls, and I think, good. Let them fight. If this is the energy first day, they’re never gonna be able to focus on a challenge, and that’s perfect for me.”
“I BET you would know Florida pretty well!” Niagara shoots back. “That contour job looks pretty Florida Man to me.”
“I am a WOMAN and you will treat me with respect!” Lady Gag yells dramatically.
Niagara looks confused, almost as if she is unsure if Gag is playing into the shade or not.
Molly chuckles. “Girls, girls, oh my gosh! This is gonna be fun as fuck.”
Lokii looks utterly horrified and speechless.
There’s a sound of heels approaching, and the contestants turn to look at the entrance.
“Please give me another crazy bitch,” Molly joke-pleads. “Please!”
In a heavy, blood red reconstructed kimono covered in pearlescent white beads, Shiseido Red slowly struts into the werkroom. Her hair is bold, black and sculpted upwards into a towering beehive, and her silhouette is intricate, yet the restructuring of the kimono lets her show off her legs. “Paint the town red?” She cackles. “Baby, just paint these lips.”
Shiseido blows a kiss. Lokii whoops.
Ethan’s eyes glint with recognition. “An old bitch. Thank goodness.”
Niagara vigorously applauds. Lady Gag still looks caught up in the fight from before. Molly looks concerned, before putting on a smile.
“Oh, it’s YOU!” Molly yells.
Molly Moppit: “I know Shiseido from the New York scene. I travel around the area, and she doesn’t.” Molly smiles.
“Ahh, you’re here!” Shiseido ignores the others around her, looking straight at Molly. “Would you take my bags to that corner of the werkroom over there?” Shiseido asks, pointing to the farthest (and largest) dressing alcove.
“I’d rather not.” Molly drops the playful facade for a moment, as the two look at each other.
Shiseido Red: “Darlings. I’m Shiseido Red, and I’m no spring chicken. I am 45 years old and proud–I have a long legacy in New York City that will outlive any of these basic-bitch children. I was a princess of the 90s club scene and now, I’m their grand duchess. In my scene, we’re all about originality, ingenuity, innovation. So… nothing like what most of these kids are wearing.”
Lokii scurries over to Shiseido. “This kimono is incredible.”
Shiseido smiles curtly. “It’s certainly one step up from a costume, yes.”
Lokii looks awkwardly.
Molly tries to roll one of Shiseido’s suitcases from where it’s parked near the entrance and fails to move it despite pulling with all her strength. Nobody seems to notice.
Molly Moppit: “Damn it, I was going to take half of her shit- subtly!”
Niagara waves a broad hello. “HELLO NEW YORK! I’m SO glad you’re here, these girls are all WHORES so far.”
Niagara goes in for a hug, but Shiseido moves away.
“I’m sorry…do I know you?” Shiseido asks, clearly baffled.
Lady Gag loudly guffaws. Niagara laughs once, awkwardly.
“Oh, yes!” Niagara blushes, pulling away from her failed hug and gesturing wildly with her hands. “I’m Niagara Halls, mama. We worked together at–”
“All you young girls blend together for me.” Shiseido shrugs. “Name doesn’t ring a bell.”
Molly, laughing under her breath, opens Shiseido’s suitcase while she’s distracted and snatches a blonde curly wig.
Molly Moppit: “I don’t get along with Shiseido. But I know this- she has good wigs… and I KNOW that old lady is a smart bitch. Whether or not she actually knows Niagara, she won’t admit it. Throw the girl off. I see you, mama.”
“Aha.” Niagara looks put off. “No worries. It was just last year when–”
“Hello, children.” Shiseido addresses the group like a troop leader. “I fear you look as bland as expected.”
Lady Gag starts up again. “GIRL, this is not–”
It’s Drag Time!
Chronologica steps into the werkroom, and the gathered contestants gasp in shock–except Ethan, who looks over passively.
Ethan Angel-Eye: “Interrupted at 6. So it’s a split premiere…which hasn’t happened since Season 3. Just, of course…of course it would be…”
Molly hurriedly closes Shiseido’s suitcase and tucks the stolen wig into her top. Lady Gag, Niagara, and Lokii rush over towards Chronologica excitedly, while Shiseido and Ethan take their time, making eye contact as they do.
Hello, racers! I’m thrilled to welcome you to the fantabulous Season 6 of Chronologica’s Drag Race! Here, you’ll be competing for the chance to win a spectacular crown and scepter from Moxie Maniac jewels, plus an extra-special grand prize of $100,000.
Everyone cheers and applauds.
One of you could become the next Drag Superstar…orrrr one of the other bitches who shows up next week could snatch the crown away from all of you. This week is your chance to prove your worth before any of those nasty skanks come and get in your way.
Lady Gag: “Quite simply, yes. We ALL know Gaga is THE queen. I can guarantee I’ll be the one to get her her crown!”
For your very first challenge, you’re putting on a premiere talent show. Show us what YOU can do that no one else can, and show us who you are. First impressions count! And you’d better hope it’s not a countDOWN…good luck! And don’t fuck it up!
Shiseido Red: “Believe me, for some of these baby girls? The countdown’s already started.” Shiseido smirks. “I’m prepared for a talent show. I’ve been talented since I was born.”
~
Later, the monarchs strip out of their entrance looks and claim their dressing areas.
Shiseido Red: “For this week’s maxi challenge, it’s time for us to showcase our abilities in a talent show. But first, it’s time to get to know each other.”
Without a word, Ethan picks up Shiseido’s heavy suitcases and moves them to her preferred corner.
“A gentleman.” Shiseido smiles, looking at Ethan’s bandana. “My faceless guardian.”
Ethan chuckles. “No. You’re just not my mark today.”
“Your mark? Alright. You’re an assassin, of sorts.” Shiseido ponders. “Mhm.”
Shiseido Red: “Ethan is giving some sort of Bessie Big Sky-Jupiter Sterling story…but evil? It’s a very specific take, I’ll give him that…I’m at least…curious.”
Ethan looks serious. “Assassin. You could say that.” Ethan retrieves his own bags and puts them next to Shiseido’s, just as Lokii enthusiastically hurries up towards the two-person dressing alcove.
“Oh, sorry!” Lokii says, chuckling awkwardly. “I would love to uh, room with Shiseido, here, uh, the other girls are kinda mean and–”
Ethan looks over, one eyebrow raised.
Shiseido makes a face. “Baby. You’re not old enough to be here.”
Lokii blanches. “No worries, then.” She scurry off.
“...If she bantered back, I’d have had her.” Shiseido responds.
“The baby queens can’t take it. No surprise.” Ethan grumbles.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Niagara, Molly, and Lady Gag each make for separate adjacent dressing stations. Lokii stands awkwardly in the middle of the room.
Lokii: “The producers very clearly told us that we had to share 4 of the dressing rooms, two racers per room. But none of the girls are willing to share with each other… what’s … happening right now? Where am I supposed to go?”
Niagara carefully changes out of her blue gown and puts on a comfortable yellow sweatsuit, then starts picking the clips out of her hair one by one. She watches Ethan and Shiseido across the room as Ethan takes off the bandana covering his face for the first time, then lets out the loudest gasp imaginable and throws her arms to the side, shocked. Blue butterfly clips fall to the ground everywhere.
Lady Gag gives Niagara a look in between racks of hanging clothes. “Diva, what the FUCK are you doing?”
Niagara whispers loudly. “Looooook!!!!” She aggressively points at Ethan, who is currently changing his shirt. Ethan very clearly and visibly has scratchy scruffy facial hair, and no makeup on the bottom half of his face.
Niagara looks gagged. “That’s a MAN, Maury!”
Niagara Halls: “I didn’t expect him to look like that, out of drag… kinda tracks, THOUGH!” Niagara cackles.
Lady Gag yells across the room. “Mister Ethan!”
Ethan looks over as he takes off his beaded vest and reveals his bare chest, clearly showcasing obvious top surgery scars.
Lady Gag looks back to Niagara. “Queens recognize kings. Are you gagging yet?”
“Not on your copy-and-paste eleganza.” Niagara shakes her head, then takes a step and slips on the fallen butterfly clips, awkwardly plopping on her butt.
Niagara Halls: “We’ve had many trans divas compete in this competition- me included. But is this the first trans man here?” Niagara ponders.
While Niagara has fallen, Molly sneaks in and grabs some more blue clips off the ground.
I’m ba-ack!
Chronologica waves from the entrance. Lokii returns the wave. Everyone else hurriedly finishes changing.
Our producers let me know that we’re having some trouble getting into our dressing stations. We do actually need you to share space, here, now.
Lokii: “I kinda was just waiting around- when they came in. I guess I kinda looked.. Awkward.” Lokii exhales. “This is a lot.”
Lokii nods. Lady Gag and Niagara roll their eyes. Molly tuts excitedly.
Molly Moppit: “I live for this drama, honestly. It’s so stuuupid I love it. I’m gonna make this shit eat up as much time as I can.”
“Our space is set, Miss C.” Shiseido says assuredly.
Great. So, which one of you three wants to share space with Lokii?
“I KNOW you’re not equating Miss GAGA to a Disney gay–” Lady Gag smirks.
Niagara shakes her head. “Well, I don’t think our visions are exactly aligned–”
Molly winks, looking at the others. “I’m not cut out for sharing…” She says cheekily.
Lokii stands awkwardly, a bit embarrassed.
Okay, fine. Which two of you want to share with each other?
Niagara scoffs. “The impersonator? That raggedy-ass mop bitch? I am not–”
Girls.
Chronologica looks annoyed.
Okay. Let’s be serious.
“No, of course, I’d love to work with Lokii in our space.” Molly smiles.
Molly Moppit: “I am a playful artist, but I do take this seriously- and I look around, and Lokii looks like a deer in headlights. It’s a competition. But I’ll make her feel welcome. I mean, she’s better then the Gaga impersonator and fucking Niagara Halls.” She takes a sip of her drink.
…
Molly Moppit: “Can we circle back to Lady Gag as a name? Like be inspired and be an orignator but LADY GAG?! I DON’T GET IT!” She bursts, interrupting herself from finishing her drink.
Shiseido and Ethan, who have returned to their corner, give each other a look.
Ethan Angel-Eye: “It’s just like the last few seasons. All the kids are incompetent. No surprise.”
I’ll leave you to it. Now. I’ll see you on the main stage. Let’s keep it professional, alright?
Chronologica departs, and Molly drags her singular small suitcase into Niagara’s dressing station. She drops the bag heavily, and all of the butterfly clips Molly has stolen spill out of it onto the floor.
“Where’s my clips?!” Niagara yells.
Lokii and Molly look at each other, and Molly giggles.
~
Chronologica goes to visit the racers.
Hello, Mr. Angel-Eye.
“Chronologica.” Ethan says gruffly.
Now, you’re drag family, right?!
The other’s ears pick up, as Ethan nods.
“Yeah, I used to be related to Bessie Big Sky. But we’re not talking about that, we’re talking about my talent show.” Ethan says, clearly displeased.
Shiseido Red: “Oh… Inteeeeerersting.” Shiseido purses her lips. “This makes a lot of sense.”
Totally. Well, tell me then, what ARE you doing for the talent show?
“I’m from Montana. We’re not basic-ass pageant queens, who haven’t fought for anything a day in their life-“
Niagara’s head turns over to Ethan’s conversation as she has caught interest, clearly offended.
Niagara Halls: “Wow.” Niagara is looking in a complete state of shock in her confessional room. “… Alright.” Niagara nods.
“…because life’s hard,” Ethan continues. “I was a rez kid, I was in the foster care system, I been through some shit. And I’ve picked up a few skills along the way. So I will be doing a Projectile Weaponry Showcase.”
Interesting. What does that entail?
“Pistols, throwing knives, bow and arrow, shotgun.” Ethan nods. “I’m a good shot, no matter what I’m shooting.”
Fuck yeah.
Ethan smiles for a moment, before nodding.
I was raised at my local gun club, over in La Perouse, Sydney. I know a good few weapons. How are you going to make it dragged up?
“I do it my way. Ethan Angel-Eye is the evil Indian from cowboys and Indians. He’s a vigilante bandit, and these are a bandit’s weapons. I’ve got a story. I know what I do in my performance space- to me, the art stands for itself. I don’t need bells and whistles, because this has never been done before.”
If you keep us excited, well that’s all that matters.
Ethan nods. “I will.”
…
Niagara Halls.
“Chronologica.” Niagara smiles.
Now, you’re a pageant Queen. How is that going to impact you in this competition?
“Well, MAMA!” Niagara says excitedly, talking with her hands. “For me, it’s about serving. I’m pretty, I’m gorgeous and I am not scared to CUT a bitch when I want to.” Niagara draws a line across her throat with one hand.
Chronologica chuckles.
Tell me, what are you doing for the talent show?
“Yodeling.” Niagara smiles brightly.
…Yodelling? Are you a singer?
“NOT at ALL.” Niagara shakes her head. “Like, I’d probably say I am a bad singer.”
Then…why are you yodeling?
“For me, it’s about standing out. I wanted to deliver something no one has really done, make it camp, and then stun on the runway.” Niagara tongue pops.
But do you feel like you are able to do this well? If you’re not a singer-
“I feel like it’s an opportunity to showcase what I can do, and make it fun.” Niagara smiles.
Okay. Well, good luck…
….
Molly Moppit!
“Shhh.” Molly whispers, pointing Chronologica to outside.
I-
“Let’s chat outside; I don’t need them hearing.” Molly whispers, as the two walk to the smoking area outside.
The others look confused as the two disappear.
“Cigarette?” Molly hands one to Chronologica.
Is that from my packet- Okay, tell me, Molly, what’s your talent show?
“For me, I do really take my drag seriously.” Molly smiles. “But I don’t need them all to know that, initially.”
I get it. So, what are you doing for the talent show?
Molly whips out a packet of notes.
Chronologica grins.
“I’ll be presenting onto the main stage, MOPPING DUTY. It’s a live freestyle Diss Track of the Cast of Season 6.” Molly smirks. “And I’ve got the notes for it.”
Why is it called… Mopping Duty?
“Because I am about to wash these bitches out and mop the crown, duh.” Molly chuckles.
Chronologica bursts into laughter.
I think that’s a fantastic idea.
“I don’t want them to know what I’m doing, because part of the work here is centered around making them react. I’m great off the cuff- and planned, secretly. So, for me it’s really important to get to embrace all of that.”
I am really excited to see how you do it, Molly.
Molly grins. “I am too.”
Molly Moppit: “I am going to blow these bitches out of the water, they just don’t know it yet.” Molly winks.
~
The next day, the racers twirl into the werkroom and get ready for the talent show.
Lady Gag: “It’s time for the talent show, and I’m ready. Are these girls ready? Well, they should be, because… I’m coming for them.”
“So, what are you bitches doing for the talent show?” Lady Gag asks, plaiting her hair. “I mean, I know some…”
Niagara starts to yodel.
Ethan rolls his eyes.
Ethan Angel-Eye: “Bitches. The way these children talk.”
“I’m not a bitch, first of all.” Shiseido says. “So let us start there, lookalike.”
“Okay, I was just talking like us girls do.” Lady Gag scoffs.
“Do you know actual Drag Queens?” Shiseido asks.
Lady Gag rolls her eyes.
Lokii whispers under her breath. “So much shade…”
“I’m doing a Stand-Up show.” Lady Gag flicks back her hair. “I’ve been told I’m a funny bitch, so-”
Everyone looks surprised.
Molly Moppit: “She’s a comedian?” Molly bursts into laughter. “Oh, let’s be honest, her biggest joke is her name!”
“Have you done comedy?” Lokii asks.
“Actually, yes.” Lady Gag smiles. “In my room, to my family…”
“Love.” Niagara clicks her fingers. “Werk, bitch, creativity…”
Shiseido Red: “I am starting to notice something. These girls claim to be experienced, knowledgeable- but then, you speak to them, and suddenly they’re like ‘I’ve done this… at home.’ Lacking experience. It SHOWS.”
“I am a designer and club kid.” Shiseido smiles to herself.
“I’d love to hear about what that was like.” Lokii interrupts.
“Well, if you survive the first week, you might hear it.” Shiseido says swiftly.
Lokii looks to the left, then down.
“I’m doing a megamix to 90s club anthems, and designing a look all the while.” Shiseido nods.
Shiseido Red: “This will allow me to put my best foot forward instead of dancing the stage up and down, something I… can’t do as well anymore.”
“That sounds… fine.” Niagara shrugs.
Niagara Halls: “Like, BORING…and honestly, I don’t see it for her?!” Niagara laughs. “OH, the shade of ME!”
Niagara giggles to herself.
“What are you two doing, Molly and Lokii?” Ethan says, surprising the two.
“I’m not talking about it.” Molly winks. “You can wait and see.”
Ethan purses his lips.
“I do wonder if it’s going to be anything of note.” Shiseido says.
Shiseido Red: “Molly has a…not-so-great reputation, in New York. I’ll be honest, she’s never been notable to me, though. Beyond the theft jokes.”
“Well, you gotta wait and see.” Molly winks.
Molly Moppit: “Keep it fun… until you make the move.” Molly smirks.
“I am a bit of a nerd.” Lokii says.
“What a surprise.” Lady Gag jokes.
“...Finish your thought.” Ethan looks at Lokii.
“I’ll be repeating the plot of star wars, with puppets.” Lokii grins.
Everyone once again looks around awkwardly.
“Well, I’m excited for MY own talent show, because it sounds like I’m winning.” Lady Gag says.
“Don’t count your chickens yet, Miss Copypasta.” Ethan responds.
Lady Gag rolls her eyes for what appears to be the 10th time.
Lokii: “I… don’t think anyone gets me here.”
“The cosplay newbie… and the puppets.” Shiseido whispers, shaking her head to Ethan. “The impersonator who does stand-up in her bedroom. The tone-deaf girl singing, and the thief who probably doesn’t even have talents of her own. Great.”
Lokii: “But I have crafted an entire concept. I’ve sewn and made these puppets, made a comedic story and saga- and if there’s one thing I do believe in, it’s the lore. It’s my knowledge in the cosplay, nerd space…”
Lokii giggles, playing with her puppets.
Lokii: “Lokii, you can do this…” Lokii gulps. “I think.”
“Who’s.” Niagara claps. “Gonna.” Niagara claps. “GO HOME FIRST?!”
“You, bitch!” Lady Gag snaps her fingers.
“RUDE, RUDE!!!!!” Niagara yells.
“Not me.” Molly whispers into the camera and winks.
~
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They posted accidentally in a satire subreddit but are completely serious lol