Hi delhi peeps, although i have lived in some pgs in Delhi and Gurgaon but this time meeting such terrible people that I cant tell you.
I have taken the option of food service from the PG itself (owner cookes food) and she (owner aunty) is literally such a liar yrrrr.. I literally havent met anyone like such jo itna jhuth bole. She would be 55+ and she charges 3000 for food each month. Although she states that beta aapko jab bhi khaana kam pade to call me, me aapko bhejungi khaana dubara(as she has 3 pgs so ek hi jagah khaana banta hai, i dont live in that pg where food is cooked but saare pg paas pe hi hai). But jab actual me khaana kam padhta hai to in case someone eats more chappatis than his/her diet on a particular day then vo bolti hai ki bache zyda khaana kha lete hai.. me to count krke hi bhejti hu magar fir bhi kya kru (she says to the one jisko khaana kam padh jaata hai) and jinhone khaaya hota hai extra chappatis unke saamne she says that caretaker ki galti hai.. no. of rotis exchange ho gyi thi with 2nd pg isliye uss bache ko roti ni mili.. khana khatam ho gya

1. I dont know how kanjus she is.... bhaaaiiii roti pe refined oil lga ke de rhi thi mereko... fir I confronted her then again she lied ki beta ghee hai ye... wtf.. she is punjabi and have never seen someone doing such silly things.. abhi bhi kbhi kbhi ghee ki jagah oil lga deti hai..ughh
   
2. She says jo mereko jitna acha paisa dega utna acha khaana dungi... but she asked for 3000 only.. and never told this before taking PG otherwise would have decided to live in that PG or not
   
3. People here are so liar that one day in order to save her money for what she was cooking Tinde ki sabzi almost daily which most girls dont eat.. when i said ki I will take food from outside ie tiffin services then she again lied and said beta 4kgs tinde aa gye the galti se market se isliye banana pade kya karu me.. which i do understand such situations but later i got to know that aunty only purchases all the vegetables herself means ye galti ni ho skti hai.. it was just that vegetable was cheap isliye... and less girls eat this sabzi
   
4. She gives vegetable sandwich where aloo is raw it is judt grated with other vegetables... helll
   

I feel so bad that some people here in delhi are so much stating the false and that too just vo bhi khaane ke upar ki 2 se upr paranthe kisi ne kha liye to she yells herself.. hamko bolegi ki jitne khaane hai khao but internally she is like se zyda nhi lena.... I feel shit why am i living here with such people tbh.
WHAT SHOULD I DO TO TACKLE THIS YR??? FOOD QUALITY IS JUST OKAY. I FEEL REALLY REALLY BAD!

An aunty of mine wants to upgrade her iPhone X to the new iPhone 15. So she said that some shops in Liberty Plaza and AppleAsia had quoted her around Rs. 230,000 for the base iPhone 15 with 128GB of storage.
When I looked at the prices from Apple Singapore the same model after tax comes to SG$ 1,311 (Rs. 291,000) and from Apple USA it’s $893 after taxes (Rs. 267,000). We have relatives in both locations who will be travelling to SL soon so we have the option of getting them to bring it.
So how are the local sellers offering them for so cheap? Where are they sourced from (Middle East/Asia)? I’m guessing they are original etc but just surprised that there is a such a huge price discrepancy.

For context, my aunt, we'll call her Mina (39F). Now Mina is a bitch. Whenever there's a family gathering with her or just dinner between her and my family, the day wont end without her badmouthing and criticizing other family members about their job and their educational status.
So 2 months before her wedding, she decided to spawn her self at our dinner table and again start with her blabbering, now I'm just a tired college student so I didn't give a F about Mina's bs, but not until my own father became her topic. She started to talk and laugh about my father's life before marrying my mother (Mina's sister), as my father came from the poorer side of the society saying my papa is such a "social climber", my mother did not liked this topic so mama tried to change the topic, and so am I, I did not liked how he talked about my father, I just looked at my dad and he was just there eating what is served by my mother like a good humble husband. Im a Daddy's girl so i looked at Mina and asked my mother "But dad was earning 6 figures before you got married right mom?" my mom said yes and it was satisfying to look at how Mina got quiet, it was awkward so mom changed the topic. I was not done yet but I love my mother so i let it go.
Not until her reception party...
Most of the invited guests were relatives, so everybody knew everybody. Especially me, im ✨️thee spoiled brat✨️ whole family, I was treated like a princess and was raised like a princess by my father and everybody knew that whatever I say goes, whatever I say will be said, and i get what i want basically for them Im the perfect child.
Already heard the other table talking about the newlyweds and how their reception is so grand and beautiful.
Not until I said "How cheap..."
The table beside us looked at me and my dad just chuckled. So my lovely father answerd the table beside us "Im sorry 'other aunt' you can continue eating, she's just not used with the environment" the aunt so replied "Didn't Mina even checked if everyone will like the venue? Typical Mina, always thinking about herself" I looked at that aunty and said "I know right aunty, like it looks really cheap, and I really thought aunt Mina said she'll have a beautiful venue"
And that statement got passed around and now everyone is criticizing Mina saying her wedding is cheap
and talking about ✨️me✨️.
The message soon reached Mina and I tell you, she looked like a red tomato, she ended up paying the catering to change the tableware into a much more expensive fitting for everyone
especially for ✨️me✨️
Everyone that was invited ended up criticizing Mina, and Mina just sat there with her husband taking it all in one by one, and of course if a relative ask about her job and educational status, my Mother is there happily laughing about it.
After the reception party my dad asked why i said it was cheap, and that probably made her look bad in the family, i just said "Ain't it the truth papa that aunt mina is cheap?" and mom and dad just laughed
I love my father and mother😇

(Prev) wiki
Julia sat with the 'blue' side of her family and smiled as everyone laughed at her toast to the 'dead' Empress's health. Everyone tried to talk at once, but her cousin got there first. “Oh, it was only three days before the first time Aunty Empress kicked grandma outta the palace. Had to kick her out about once a week for the first six months before she got it through her head that she was an advisor – and a secret advisor at that – rather than the one in charge.”
Aunt Irnor waved a hand and interjected. “Oh, she wasn’t as bad as all that. Half the time Liera was kicking her out because she wanted to go do something in her new persona, but felt obligated to stay by her daughter’s side. The other half, well… Her head knew she wasn’t in charge anymore, was even glad she wasn’t. Her gut, though… sometimes that got in the way.
“It only took a year for Leira to get herself really situated on the throne, and then it was Enibal who kicked my sister-in-law out, with firm orders to only come if called or on a social visit... or stay away.”
They all laughed a little at the image of the avowed-coward Enibal reading the riot act to the former Empress. Julia tried to call the image up in her head and it got more ridiculous with each attempt. She finally took another drink and decided to move the conversation forward. “I do have to say, your practice of faking the monarch’s death and having them stick around has a lot of wisdom. Still, one thing from the funeral has always nagged at the back of my mind: how did they manage that with the body? If I hadn’t known better I’d have sworn I was looking at her!”
This time Golna answered. “In a way you were: the body was a clone. Carefully grown so that it never had anything resembling a mind – or even a brain – built for just that occasion.”
Why does this surprise me so much? It is not like I didn’t know the Venter have that kind of tech. I should have… oh. A little internal embarrassment colored her cheeks. Wow, I’ve had too much to drink or finally managed to relax. Maybe both. She smiled at everyone’s quizzical looks and sighed. Guess I owe sis an apology, and myself some time in meditation. She was right, I was wrong, and I became that invested in being right?
Everyone continued to look at her with slightly puzzled expressions. “I should have figured that out, I think. I guess I just didn’t think you guys would go to that sort of expense for something like that. Couldn’t have been cheap, how did you hide the expense?”
Kaz took a pull from his glass and answered. “Oh we didn’t hide it, exactly, because we didn’t use State funds. We never do for personal stuff. The royal family is independently wealthy, always has been. You see…” A pillow flew through the air and just missed Uncle’s drink. Julia giggled as he shot one of his wives a look and continued. “Ok, fine. Short version: the Family has always had a number of private holdings which we use to maintain our expenses. Plus, it is the duty of any sibling who doesn’t end up with the diadem around their neck, or otherwise in government, to contribute to those holdings; which is a lot of what the company I founded is all about.”
Julia smirked at her Uncle and looked pointedly at the pillow on the floor, then back at him. “Ok, that is the second time today. What is with the words ‘You see,’ and what the hell did all of you get up to back then?”
Everyone laughed, but Aunt Yoro answered. “Well, you see…” She pointedly looked around for incoming fluffy projectiles, but only got groans and rolled eyes. “Those two words tend to be predicated by someone – often someone who is particularly excited about their subject matter – launching into far too much detail about the matter at hand and derailing the conversation… so, we tend to stop someone whenever they are spoken and make them summarize.
“It seems to have started with your father trying to get ahold on the most brilliant, if uncouth, technical mind I have ever dealt with. A guy named…”
“Jake.” A giggle escaped before Julia could even consider suppressing it. “I think I met him this morning, and it seems that you folks aren’t the only ones who had the same sort of problem with him…”
That brought a round of laughter, a toast to Jake, and a pointed change of subject to move them away from the day’s events again.
Soon the food came and they all tucked in with a will. Julia found herself surprised at her level of hunger after so much stress, but chalked it up to a lack of proper food during most of the day. Dinner conversation stayed lively, with her relatives carrying most of the conversation – although they also teased a lot of anecdotes and gossip out of her.
Once the plates had been cleared she settled in, with a warm glow in her heart, her belly, and on her cheeks, for more quiet time with these people whom she so loved and hadn’t seen in far too long. Then she started awake after her cousin touched her on the shoulder and looked up to see sympathetic smiles all around.
Her cousin spoke. “If you were your Venter sister I’d harry you off to your room myself, help you shower, and tuck you into bed.” They both laughed as the woman helped her stand. “You were always a more private person than that, though, and it seems you can stand un-assisted, so I’ll leave off and let you sleep.” A mock-stern look appeared on her face. “As long as you swear to me you will go straight to bed! Stop in the shower if you feel you have to, but get some sleep!”
Julia smiled and felt herself rock slightly on her feet while she nodded in answer. Hugs, kisses on the cheeks, reassuring pats, and a few more hugs went back and forth in amiable silence and the ‘blue’ side of her family hurried out. She walked to her bedroom and gave one longing look at the bathroom door with its shower hidden behind it, but realized she’d be facing a challenge just getting undressed without falling asleep. It seemed all the energy had gone out of her with everyone’s departure. She didn’t even remember her head hitting the pillow.

*

The next day her alarm went off way too early. She reached for her phone and found the alarm was a barrage of non-stop incoming messages. By the time she realized she’d missed breakfast she suspected someone was trying to keep her busy as she grabbed a few bites between meetings. When she realized she’d missed lunch, as well, and pulled up her schedule for the day while she walked to meet with yet another Ambassador and watched a meeting get canceled only to be replaced in moments she became sure of it.
Then she opened the door to her next meeting and had to work to keep a smile on her face. Tigesh. And, he looks even more unhappy than Tigesh normally do. Why the hell wasn’t I briefed before meeting with him? These people are difficult to deal with on the best of days, and will only request a meeting if they think they have some sort of advantage over you. She glanced at her phone, thankful she still had it in her hand, and her eyes narrowed slightly. The appointment read ‘Foreign Ambassador at Foreign request.’ Someone is going to get an earful. I may be the only ranked Ambassador here at the moment with Silesh recalled and Jorgenson booted to Advisor, but you do ~not~ send someone in the deal with one of these little trolls blind!
She pulled her expression back to neutral and faced the furry little man. Their resemblance to upright badgers – the American kind, not the more docile versions – doesn’t end with their appearance, more’s the pity. She tried to recall how best to handle them and their aggressive, contrarian nature from her few dealings with them, but ended up having to suppress a shudder instead. Nothing for it, then, I…
The Ambassador spoke, his voice dripping with rancor. “First you send me a communication telling me that you urgently need to meet with me to explain what is as clear to everyone as the whiskers on their own faces, then you stand there grinning at me with a frozen face like an idiot who has forgotten how to talk while you glance at your phone. Do you have business to discuss, Human, or did you just call me here because you have been so quickly elevated to First among your peers and wish to waste everyone’s time?”
She dropped her smile and felt her eyes narrow again. The badger’s attitude and speech had given her plenty of steam in and of themselves, but his revelation that ‘she’ had requested the appointment put a fire in her. I don’t know who you are, nor why you want me buried in meetings all day, but you just made a severe tactical error. I am going to find you and I am going to send you back to Earth immediately, if I have to throw you through the void to do it!
“It would seem, Ambassador, that there has been an issue. I was told that your office requested this meeting.” The man drew himself up, obviously intending to launch into another rant, but she held up a hand to forestall him. “I know that your time is valuable, of course, and do not wish you to think I wasted your time on purpose. That said, I also do not appreciate being accused of trying to waste people’s time or failing to recognize the value of, well, anything. So, since you obviously don’t wish to converse nor take advantage of this opportunity to gain information nor build bridges with the second-tier Human Ambassador, who is simply doing everything she can with what little she has been left after the upheaval you spoke of, it would be better for you to wait to speak with the new First tier Ambassadors when she arrives in a few days.”
She speared him with a hard look, and dared him to try and press. He blinked rapidly, obviously trying to find some slight in her words he could grab onto and claim offense. She waited until the confusion had set in deep and interrupted his thoughts by speaking and pulling a small chocolate bar out of her sleeve. “However, I would hate for you to leave our meeting with too bad an impression of me, low-ranked as I am. Therefore I will give you this as a token of appreciation for your willingness to answer the request for a meeting, and bid you good day, sir. If you will excuse me, I am sure the nice youngster who showed you in will be happy to help you go.”
With that she diffidently tossed the candy bar down the length of the table and left. She glanced behind her as the door closed, and allowed herself a satisfied smile as soon as it did: the candy bar had stopped just short of the little jerk’s reach, so that he’d have to scramble or move around the table to get to it. I don’t care if it is against regs to use chocolate as a bargaining chip with Ambassadors, I can always claim expedience and lack of experience at this posting if I have to. Of course, that is the kind of stunt you can only get away with once, and I can’t believe I had to use it on my second day!
Now, who can I trust?
wiki

This is my first hand account as the youngest of 3 daughters, with a loving, hardworking mom but lazy, narcissistic dad with anger management issues. It's going to be a long story, basically my whole life story, because I feel that sharing some of my experiences growing up, may help bring more context to the situation I'm in today. I'm also a certified banana (non-Chinese speaking Chinese), and do identify as a ABC: American Born Chinese.
Growing up, I wasn't really allowed to go out from my house except for friends' birthday parties, and to go to school (obviously). My dad was a sales manager, and my mom ran a retail shop selling bags up till I was in secondary school, after which she stopped to be a full time housewife. Honestly, I don't even know how she juggled all the responsibilities while I was in primary school, because she did all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and even took time to dress my sisters and me and help us with homework and studying, and spend time with us on weekends (which I now understand how precious weekends are as a working adult). Basically, my freedom was heavily restricted, and I learnt at a young age how to keep myself entertained and appreciate my own company (which did make me depressed sometimes to be honest, until I learnt to accept, appreciate, and love myself for me when I got much older).
My parents were always yelling when I was home from school, especially at night. I used to try to ignore it by focusing on studying, thinking that if I worked hard enough, I would be able to make a living on my own and things would be better then (yes, I was only in primary school when I thought these things). I recall now that I used to think that no one loved me, that I was so much younger than my sisters (8 years from the oldest, and 6 years from the second) because I was an accident and unwanted. I was a naughty child, used to run around the house and draw on the table legs with color pencils. My mom used to cane me to discipline me when I misbehaved, but I still loved her. Looking back, I realise I honestly have a lot to thank her for - that it does feel like she single-handedly raised me and my sisters.
I was never given any allowance, never bought any new toys or clothes or shoes, because everything I needed would be handed down from my sisters. I would resent this for most of my childhood of course, until I got old enough to understand this was to be frugal. But looking back, it went deeper than that - my mom wasn't really able to spend money without my dad's consent. So everything went through him - and he would never allow us to spend money unless it was really a necessity, or unless it was something HE wanted. And what he was most interested in at the time I was growing up, was tech stuff. TVs, surround sound speakers with subwoofers, iMacs and all. Now this, he would spend money on. But my mom, I don't recall seeing her buy things for herself much to be honest. He did buy us a lot of pirated computer games - but usually he'd try to pick something that was more educational - and I think he only did it because he was buying pirated VCDs anyway.
Side question: How common is it to get your first handphone at 18yo (Nokia, the model you could drop from the roof and still would work), if you were born in the 1990s? I feel like it was definitely earlier than my older sisters, but the reason for this is because I was selected for National Service, and my parents wanted to stay in contact with me so they got me a handphone (which ironically was confiscated at the camp and only returned to you on weekends, and signal at my camp was almost non-existent). I feel like in comparison with many of my friends, I was super late in getting a handphone and had a lot to make up for to catch up in understanding.
Fast-forwarding to secondary school - my dad would usually always be angry about something at home. Maybe he woke up late for work and blamed my mom for it. Maybe I didn't get good enough grades - even if I got 100, he'd somehow always find a way to say that I could have gotten higher (yes I know that sounds stupid but he honestly used to say these things, because I would almost consistently get 100 for English and Maths - yes I am a nerd). Or maybe it would just be the way we answered his questions. He has this pattern where if he asked you a question, and he didn't like your answer, he'd pretend he didn't hear it, and ask you again, almost in the exact same phrasing he did the first time. And he'd do it again. And again. And eventually when you run out of patience and answer him shortly, he'd burst out in anger, with his default phrase: "You don't know how to talk to people.". "You talk nicer to strangers, better than your own father.". For a long time, hearing these words being repeatedly yelled, screamed at you, by a loud, angry, male voice, did two things to me. One, I used to almost believe that I didn't know how to talk to people, that I WAS the problem, and not him. Two, till today, hearing raised male voices still scares and distresses me, I get nervous and really tense - which doesn't help because that's how Hokkien and Hakka sounds to me when people are just saying hello! (yea it doesn't sound like anything to me because I'm a banana).
I recall a time on a weekend, when I had woken up early to watch morning cartoons, and my dad was angry about something - my sister had been busy applying for university, and I think he didn't like that she didn't want to be a medical doctor - she was more interested in math or vet sciences. He had been yelling at her, and then proceeded to walk over to where I was sitting on the floor in front of the TV, stand over in front of me, bend down, and scream at my face saying "get out, get out of this house now!" - I swear I saw spit fly when he yelled at me. I was so afraid, so freaked out, that I later asked my mom if she thought one of the nice aunties from church would take me in if he really kicked me out.
How did I survive all this? I didn't even realise I was doing it, but I would try to spend as much free time as I could with friends - we'd talk on the phone for HOURS after school (mind you this was before we had cordless landline phones, so I would sit at the stairs, with my ear glued to the phone), and when I finally got to Form 6, I'd hang out after school with friends with cars, to malls, to the movies, to lunch, and my mom would sneak me some spare cash from her groceries budget so I could have a good time with friends. I had some really good friends that would sponsor me food/snacks too, whom I'll forever be indebted to, because no matter how cheap it was back then, it was still their allowance they were spending on a friend that couldn't pay them back.
Around this time, my dad lost his job - the management had changed, but if I recall how he was about his job, I don't think he was meeting his work KPIs as a sales manager either to be honest - and he was sacked. He fought it in court, and won money from it. This will become significant later on, but let's move on first.
Fast-forward to my turn to enter university, and I couldn't get in to medicine. I had tried, believe me - thinking that I liked biology enough, and that if I didn't, I could learn to love it - that my dad would love me more and treat me better if I did what he wanted, and go into medicine. But I couldn't make it - no scholarships wouldn't take me with my STPM 3.75 CGPA, not even for dentistry, because the competition was too tough with limited placements. I recall, my dad had opened a Maybank Yippie account under my name, and he applied to earn the rewards the bank offered for getting certain grades from PMR, SPM and STPM. When we got it, it went promptly into his own bank account under the justification that I didn't have my own bank account and he'd keep it for me until I did. Bro, you were controlling my Yippie account, and you had to close it once I finished STPM. You could have just opened an account immediately after that for me, but you didn't. That makes no sense, but ok, take it if that makes you happy.
I recall when I was applying to university through the UPU platform, I asked him for his advice, and he yelled at me to figure it out on my own. I wasn't sure what I could do honestly, because the whole time in secondary school, I only knew that he wanted me to go into medicine - I had no other frame of reference. My mom asked around among the neighbors, and found out that engineering was also a good field, and I did enjoy physics a lot more than biology, so I went into that. And my dad? Never did he once check on me - on what I was applying for, about school fees, nothing. My mom suggested I apply for PTPTN, that if I graduated with first class honors, I could convert it into a full scholarship, so I did that after exhausting all the other available scholarship options.
I think it was only in 2nd year of university that he found out I took Biomedical Engineering, and then he took an interest because there was some correlation to medicine - more on rehab science, but hey, I was taking classes in the attached hospital, so he was interested. Then he started to "show off" to relatives whenever they asked about it during CNY gatherings.
Anyway I think I've completely lost focus, so I'm gonna fast-forward. Today, I'm working a stable full-time job at a company I love working at - the people here are great and so supportive, and most of my social circle is from here today, with the exception of some close school friends I still keep in contact with.
Full lockdown in MCO was super tough for me. Being at home with my dad's constant yelling and anger issues, I seriously considered many times once lockdown was lifted, about moving out. I mentioned it to my mom, but she would always advise me not to, that it was too much financial strain on me and it wasn't safe to live by myself (you know, single girl, alone). Eventually, I realised, with lockdown lifted, I could escape our home, by going to the office. So I did. And I realised, that my mom was the more pitiful one because she couldn't escape as a full time housewife because my dad would restrict her freedom too - both inside and outside of the house. And for some reason, she accepted it. She clearly wasn't happy about it, but whenever I'd complain about my issues at home with her, her advice would be to not let it affect me and go out when I could. Honestly, I always wanted to ask her why she didn't just divorce my dad, but I was always too afraid to ask. So I let it be.
There were times when work was stressful, and because I had made work my escape from home, it was a toxic cycle for me, so much so that I had a few mental breakdowns at work, and did consider ending my life. But I got through it eventually after seeking counseling and talking to friends about my issues.
Have I mentioned my dad is a hoarder? He still has old VCRs of shows recorded from laser discs and satellite TV which we haven't touched in 20+ years, and probably will never use again. He still has an old Amiga computer in the storeroom that he never intends to set up, and also doesn't intend to sell - he just doesn't want to throw it away. Old pill boxes, old batteries - he insists to keep because he thinks he'll either need them again, or be able to use them somehow. Basically, the old house is so full of his junk that he's collected since I was young, that there's no space for the rest of us to really live. We're just, guests in his house, that have beds, places to put our clothes, and have to cook, clean, grocery shop, and pay for all the utilities, his car insurance, medical insurance, house insurance, and also give him an allowance. He complains about our cleaning too, even though he wouldn't ever clean himself. I found out from my sisters recently that he actually did complain about us not paying rent some time back, and this was AFTER they were already giving him a generous allowance every month (I had only just finished uni or started working? so they didn't tell me this). And he would continue to complain about this even after we started to pay for utilities and groceries. So eventually, they stopped giving him an allowance.
Another incident I want to share is about the family car. So we used to have a really old Proton Wira that we used as the family car since I was in primary school. About 20 years later, we still used it and it was the only available car I could take to drive to work. It wasn't very well maintained, but it got you from A to B, so for my first car, I wasn't complaining. Until, the gearbox started to have problems. I would send it to service many times, change the gearbox many times, and still, the gears would slip while driving - could be on a flat road while accelerating, and what especially worried me was when I was going up ramps or slopes, like when exiting basement parking, I had to have my hand on the handbrake at all times incase I started to fall backwards because I wasn't sure I could switch from accelerator to brake pedal quick enough. I told my dad about it every time, but he would just tell me off, saying I wasn't driving properly, and that there was nothing wrong with the car. I endured it for a couple years, until finally one day, I realised just how dangerous it was when I was leaving the parking with cars behind me, and I DID have to use pull the handbrake. So one day, I had enough, and I bought myself my own car with my own money. And guess what? When I went back home with it, what did my dad do? He yelled at me. Like on a scale of 1 to 10, he was 15. And then he yelled at my cousin who helped me to buy the car. He wasn't upset that I had gotten one without his consent, or that maybe I hadn't gotten the best deal on the car, no nothing like that. He was only upset, because I had spent my own money on myself, and that he insisted the old family car was perfectly fine. Well guess what? Eventually, he gave up on the car too, and asked *cough*forced*cough my cousin to buy it off from him, and apparently en route to the shop on the highway, the car broke down and had to be towed. And my dad never said a THING about it, ever. Makes me so mad just thinking about how selfish and irresponsible he was being, and how lucky I was that I had decided to get a car on my own. He was only curious about one thing - he asked me if I had gotten a bank loan for the car. I told him I borrowed money from my boss - when actually I had gotten a loan from my sister.
We're getting closer to present day, bear with me.
Last month, my house was being painted, with some other fixes being done like changing the roof gutters and house gate which were severely rusted over the 30+ years we lived in the house, never having been maintained ever since we moved in. It was actually my oldest sister's idea, being the "bread-winner" ever since my dad entered "forced retirement". She felt like it was a nice gesture and she had saved money to do it. She let my dad to pick the contractor so he'd be satisfied with the quality of the work, and that's when all hell broke loose.
From the day we agreed to the quotation (which was a really hefty sum), my dad wasn't happy about anything. He was always criticising the price, the quality of the materials, the workmanship of the painter and workmen, and even nitpicked that the contractor had "daddy issues". Funnily enough, it's my dad that has "daddy issues" himself because he likes to play the victim card after all these years saying that his father abandoning his family when he was young screwed him up. I'm sorry he went through that, but seriously, you're doing well now, and you're 66 fucking years old, could you grow up? Sorry, I digress. Honestly, my dad would just find ANYTHING to complain about, and he'd be angry and loud about it. Worse one I think was when he kept having the idea that the contractor should throw in some freebies for him, like hey, could you also paint this window for me, or fix this door for me, for free. Like as if materials are free and workmanship doesn't cost time and effort? I swear it's almost as if he's never worked a hard day's work in his life... Which I find contradicting considering how stingy he is with money...
The painting and house fixes took around 3 weeks in total - including power washing all the old paint off the walls, putting a few coats of primer, painting, and all the metal work. Also considering this was during puasa which was tough for the workers, and the weather was blistering hot in the afternoon and then heavy rain in the evenings. Through the whole thing, my sisters and I were busy at work, so who was left to manage at home were my parents. Or rather I should say, my mom. Because all my dad did, from day 1, is yell at the contractor. Saying he's not doing a good job, that he's so calculative because he wouldn't throw in some freebies like painting the window when we didn't ask for it in the quotation, or changing the color when he didn't like it, etc etc. Lies, they were all lies. The contractor knew exactly what he was doing, and it was really good work. We were all really happy with it. So my mom had to be peacemaker, try to calm down my dad, and apologize to the contractor on the side. Which is exhausting, because my dad was literally yelling in his face all the time! And he would eventually take it out on my mom because obviously it was no secret she was defending the contractor. I'm honestly super shocked he would act this way to a stranger. All my life he's always been so careful to only show his nasty side to us at home, and be charming outside to strangers. I guess being the "customer" went to his head?
All this took a really heavy toll on my mom. She's 64yo, and it was stressing her out so much to have my dad throwing his temper around all the time. If he didn't get his way with the contractor, he'd take it out on her. When I was home on weekends or before going to work in the mornings, she'd tell me how things were going, and they were just getting from bad to worse. She was getting more and more frail, more tired, losing her appetite, and not being able to sleep too.
Around 1-2 weeks in, realising things were getting way way out of control (who am I kidding, when was anything in my life with my dad ever in control? lol) - more importantly, my mom was suffering horribly from it - I reminded her that I considered a few times before about moving out. And that in the end, I decided not to only because she advised me not to. That I could escape to my office, but she couldn't, and that with my working hours and escapism, I hardly spent any time at home except to sleep (sometimes even choosing to shower at the office). So what was the point if she wasn't going to move out with me? So I stayed. But I told her this time, forget about financial worries, about anything else - and consider if she needs to get out of this situation. It's not worth being stuck in this at the cost of her own mental well being. I told her all this, to know these are options she could consider for herself, and left it at that. A couple days later, I went for an overseas trip with friends, and honestly, didn't think much of it.
A week later, I came back, and things felt the same. The painting was done, the gate was being installed, and the end of the hell seemed to be really close, like 1-2 days before everything would be completed. Another week later, I'm having lunch with my sisters and mom at home (dad not there because he had the habit of sleeping till 2pm ever since he "retired"). And I did NOT expect them to tell me they had all decided to move out, to leave my dad.
I was surprised, happy (like really happy), and also confused. So they explained that the turning point had come during the week that I was away, my dad's temper had gotten so bad, that he had almost hit my mom when he was yelling at her and the contractor outside the house. Luckily the contractor stepped in to stop him, and he snapped out of it, but it was enough to make my mom realise that after all these years, he is really never going to change, and that he could one day hurt her when no one else was around. Apparently, there were times before that she had mentioned his attitude & anger problems to him and threatened to leave him, and he promised to change, but then he would quickly forget it and go back to his usual ways. And other times, when he couldn't get the response he wanted from her, he would take it out on my sisters and I by yelling at us. She would always tell me when I was growing up that people don't change unless they want to, and don't ever get into a relationship with a guy thinking I can fix or change him. Funny that she would give me that advice, but herself still be hoping for my dad to change.
So, after telling them I fully supported the idea (basically I said I had been waiting a long time for them to decide to move out lols), we started looking for places to rent. And this is where I really have to thank God, because everything just fell into place. I mean there were some hiccups along the way, but within 2 weeks we managed to find a great place to move to within our rental budget with an awesome landlord. Then my dad announced he was going on an overseas trip around the time we would get the keys to move in. Honestly, we had considered trying to pack everything while he was sleeping and moving it under his nose, or considering the possibility of asking the police for help to move out in case my dad tried to stop us physically. But none of that had to happen, because he went for a trip, and we had basically a week to pack and move out. And with the help of many friends, we did it. We moved out, for the first time after 30+ years (40 for my mom).
Living apart from my dad, able to control our own lives and living space... We have never been happier as a family. I don't have my own room, I still share with my sister, but it honestly doesn't matter, because we can wake up every morning without worrying about the next temper tantrum or yelling match, or accidentally upsetting my dad about anything. It's so peaceful, and I look forward to going home after work now, rather than staying longer at the office. I no longer have to live under constant threat of being blamed from something wrong in the house. Yes, this is also something my dad does a lot, blame all of us for things getting spoiled in the house, even if it's obviously from wear and tear over the years. Like, the air-conditioner leaking, he would say was because we were folding clothes in the room which created a lot of fluff and clogged up air vents causing it to leak. Or, a power bank not working so well anymore, according to him was because I used it wrongly, and not because the charge just doesn't hold so well after degrading over the years.
The simplest things - being able to have a desk to work at when I want to work from home or play computer games, and having a cabinet in the kitchen to put my coffee gear instead of having to always wash, dry, and pack them up into paper bags. Or something even simpler - being able to accidentally leave a light on in a room and not be scolded for it like I had just killed someone... These are joys I get to experience now because we no longer live under the control of my dad.
Now, it's been 2 weeks since my dad returned from his trip to find an empty house (we only took our stuff, his stuff is still all there), and a letter explaining we had moved out because we couldn't stand to stay there anymore, and not to contact us because we need our space. He tried calling us but frankly, I think we were all either afraid to pick up just to be yelled at, or just not willing to be subjected to his manipulation anymore after experiencing peace of mind without him, so none of us picked up. He tried texting the family group then, and it surprised me he didn't act angry, but rather said he was shocked and expected to be able to live the rest of his life with us, that we would take care of him in his old age, that we should have pity on him because he's not young and came back unwell from his trip, that he had to sleep on the floor at the airport in Dubai. He said he wanted another chance to improve on his 'flaws', saying he loves us and would never do anything to hurt us, asking my mom to come back, that he knows he made a lot of mistakes, but that he's always lived his life for the benefit of us. Then, he asks us to continue paying for the utilities. Followed by saying "he knows we don't talk about it, but he never recovered from the suffering he endured at church" - which is total bullshit by the way, because he never suffered at church... what happens is what he always does - he alienates people or doesn't like it when people do things differently from him, and is super sensitive when people don't compliment or praise him for his works. So what he does eventually, is he leaves that church, and then finds another one. Anyway, he then continues in his messages with even more sappy words like he misses us, he's so lost without us, when he wakes up he's so full of fear, that that's why he's so unhappy and angry all the time, he needs us, that he's never had to be independent all his life, he's not eating well, not sleeping well, don't block him, please just let him meet us one more time, just let him hear our voices, just to say hello... OMG I wanna puke just reading all this... So much of it is so cringe, like he's NEVER spoken like that to us ever, and in the middle of it asks for money? And for the past, I don't know, 15 years at least, he's either always yelling at us that we don't know how to talk to people properly, or that we shouldn't talk to him. And now, he says he misses our voices? GAG.
Then this week... he pays me a visit to my office. Shows up at lunch time, and asks to see me. It was a really big shock to see him just standing there, smiling at me like as if I should be happy to see him? Honestly, I did expect it to happen, because my office is the nearest to his house, and probably the easiest to get to compared to my sisters' workplaces. But still, thinking it and seeing it were two different things, and I was just praying that he wouldn't be desperate enough to really do it and that I was just being paranoid. So seeing him in my office, I was instantly on edge, thinking he was going to make a scene at my office, and asked some colleagues to help keep an eye out for me while I went to talk to him. And he basically repeated the same things he's been sending in text to me. He started crying, and trying to show me how frail he was because he wasn't eating well, said he hoped I could take him out for a meal, saying he's only been eating all the leftovers - which honestly, is kind of suspicious because we didn't have that many leftovers to begin with, and we had purposely restocked the house with bread, biscuits, tuna which we knew he knew how to eat on his own - so maybe he was referring to that... Said he was worried about his finances, that his eyesight wasn't good, his knees weren't good, how was he going to clean the house on his own. Then he tries to change the topic for some reason, by saying he was surprised he was allowed into the office building and that the guard had given him some package to bring up as well when he said he was coming to my floor... It was weird and creepy and gave me a really unsettled, disturbed feeling throughout the whole experience. I was so tense and nervous that I couldn't bear to talk to him without crossing my arms in front of me the whole time. And I kept explaining to him, that there was no point in him trying to justify and explain himself to me - that it all just sounded like excuses to me, that 30 years of doing the same damn thing over and over to us was enough and that we were never ever going back to his house, whether it was to visit or moving back in - none of that was going to happen. But with his constant crying and pleading, I did start to feel really sorry for him.
I mean, even in the week when we were moving out, I felt guilty about it, knowing he wasn't going to be happy and was going to have a hard time once we left him. But the alternative was to do nothing about our situation, which wasn't a viable option either. Continuing to live with him was basically just saying, this is it, this is our lives, we're going to die with this being the extent of our lives. And I was NOT going to let that happen. My mom did NOT deserve to die in that house with that tyrant controlling every aspect of her life, sucking the joy and energy from her like a leech, like a freaking Dementor from Harry Potter. But anyway, yea, his pleading got to me, I did pity him and felt sorry for him, so I told him, please leave, I'll unblock him on my phone so he can call and message me, but I won't promise anything else except to pass on what he has said to my sisters and mom. He kept saying please, he can't wait too long, please just come to the house to talk to him, he needs us, etc. Took me a few times to convince him he's not going to get anything else out of me and eventually he left.
I was so on edge after that, I realised my hands were cold and shaking, and I didn't have much appetite for lunch by then. Thankfully I have many caring and supportive colleague who knew about the situation and they helped talk to me about it and it calmed me down. I talked to my sisters and mom that night after work, and they shared with me some of their experiences that I wasn't aware of from when I was a baby or when I wasn't at home. Which made me realise... he may have been trying to manipulate me earlier. Apparently, he has on several occasions, told my mom he regretted marrying her, that he would have been better off letting his mom to find him a wife instead. He had told my sister (the middle child) that he regretted having us as children. Told her to get out of the house too. And always told us that he had lots of money, that money was no object, whenever we told him we didn't want to spend on something he was asking for because we couldn't afford it. Which is conflicting isn't it, because if YOU have the money, then why not buy it yourself instead of trying to convince us to buy it for you? My sister had also asked him before why he was so angry, why he was yelling, and he would respond that he wasn't angry and that he was just like that, and he wouldn't change. I think the one story that really hit me though, was when my oldest sister said, she remembered when she was younger, maybe around kindergarten or primary school - she was holding me as a baby, and I was crying, and she was trying to comfort me. And my dad was playing really loud music at the time, and mom was busy with house chores, and she said she just remembered feeling like something wasn't right, and thinking why was it like this. It hit me then... that this had been going on for YEARS, like from before I was born, probably from the moment my mom had married him, and everything he had been saying were lies. Maybe he meant some of it, because he knew now that we weren't afraid to leave, that we could and would and did leave, that for that he was probably sorry for yelling at us. That all his threats to tell us to get out, while he probably thought would give him control over us at the time, had eventually now come back to bite him in the ass now that we were older and didn't depend on him anymore.
So, today, at this moment, I am sitting at my new desk, in my nice new home, writing this out because, my logical brain KNOWS that we have done the right thing. That my dad, the whole situation with him and how he treats the people around him, his entire behavior, is a classic red flag, textbook case. But despite knowing this, in my heart, in my emotional brain, I feel bad about it. Not enough to want to reach out to him and respond to his requests. But enough that I feel guilt when I'm happy about our new life, like I shouldn't feel this great when he's feeling bad. That my happiness now has come as his expense now. And yes, although I have been angry at him enough to wish him dead many many times over in the past, I think my compassion somehow makes me feel like it's not right to inflict suffering on others for my own sake. But logically, am I really "inflicting" suffering on him? Is it my fault he doesn't know how to be happy with his own life? Just because I was born as his child, doesn't mean I owe him anything, that I'm responsible to make him feel good, does it? Yes, I'm Asian, and Christian, and both of these teach us to respect our elders and take care of our parents. But it can't be at the expense of my own happiness and emotional well-being.
I don't know if I'll ever get into a relationship with someone. I'm 31 years old this year, and I have never been in a romantic relationship. I've had crushes, gone out a couple times for movies or meals, but it's never gone beyond just being casual acquaintances or friends. And I have zero interest in putting myself out there on online dating platforms, or going out to meet new people for the purpose of finding someone. I don't know if it's because of my experience with my dad, that deep down I'm so traumatised that I don't even want to consider putting myself in a situation that could become how it was with my mom and dad. I've seen other people have healthy marriages with loving family bonds, where the father is useful, caring, stable, dependable, and supportive. But I think I'm really afraid that I'm that person that attracts the wrong sort, you know? There's a saying right? That you marry men who are like our fathers? Yes, good relationships exist, but they're what other people get, and since I'm not a good judge of character and easily gullible, it can't possibly happen for me. And while thinking that does make me sad, I also know that maybe it's just better to stay single, so that I'll never be hurt again. Like, the risk isn't worth the potential reward.
Anyway, I hope someone does read this in the entirety, and lets me know what they think about the whole situation that is my life, and also especially my current situation. If there's any advice you could share with me, do you think I'm being too harsh? I do get triggered by my message tones, call tones, and even the office door bell these days, because every time, I'm just reminded that my dad is trying to plead with us to come back, and I'm just so tired of his manipulation and gaslighting and general emotional abuse. And I feel like this is probably more common than I think, and if you can relate to this while you're reading it, I hope you find the courage get out of the bad situation you're in and find your happiness too. If you're in a similar situation, although I have guilty feelings about it, I know it's important to take care of your own well-being, and I hope this helps you to know that you're not alone.

Economics of Human Trafficking
https://www.amherst.edu/media/view/247221/original/Economics+of+Human+Trafficking.pdf
Crossposting audience: This is the first subreddit with scientific research on economic abuse. Please follow to learn more about the dynamics and damage economic abuse does.
Commodifying a human takes away their economic agency, leading to gross pockets of butchered agency; agency attempted to be represented by someone one does not consent to, and failures to correctly calculate opportunity costs on that point.
The loss of agency from human trafficking as well as from modern slavery is the result of human vulnerability (Bales, 2000: 15).
The use of fraud, force or coercion for the purpose of subjection to involuntary servitude, espionage, debt bondage, or slavery.
(B) the recruitment, harboring, transportation, provision, or obtaining of a person for labor or services, through the use of force, fraud, or coercion for the purpose of subjection to involuntary servitude, peonage, debt bondage, or slavery.’’
Prevent, Suppress and Punishing trafficking is required. Traffickers don’t feel any guilt unless they have strong enough boundaries.
We also adhere to Article 3, paragraph (a) of the United Nations Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons, Especially Women and Children (U.N. Protocol), (2000) that defines trafficking in persons as:
Abuse of vulnerability includes giving or receiving payments to achieve consent (buying their consent) to have control over another person for the purpose of exploitation. Basically buying an irrational decision in a moment of desperation; nobody would consent to their exploitation rationally. Thus human trafficking incentivizes irrational behavior by taking away agency and leaving it in hands that do not know how to predict an individual’s agentic opportunity costs as they are not that person.
the abuse of power or of a position of vulnerability or of the giving or receiving of payments or benefits to achieve the consent of a person having control over another person, for the purpose of exploitation. Exploitation shall include, at a minimum, the exploitation of the prostitution of others or other forms of sexual exploitation, forced labour or services, slavery or practices similar to slavery, servitude or the removal of organs
Injustice occurs when someone’s life, dignity, liberty, or fruits of their labor are taken away.
Gary Haugen speaks of agency in broad terms when he states, ‘‘Injustice occurs when power is misused to take from others . . . namely, their life, dignity, liberty or the fruits of their . . . labor’’ (1998: 72)
Inducing someone to perform something that does not align with their agency is human trafficking.
. This loss of agency by the victim is noted by the language of both the UN Protocol in its statement, ‘‘having control over another person’’ (UN Protocol, 2000: 3); and by the TVPA, in Article 3, paragraph (a), using the words ‘‘induced to perform’’, and in subparagraph (B) ‘‘for the purpose of subjection to involuntary servitude, peonage, debt bondage, or slavery’’ (OVAW, 2000: 5).
In the case of human trafficking, the horrifying features is that the products are vulnerable individuals
We model human trafficking as a monopolistically competitive industry with many sellers (human traffickers) offering many buyers (employers) differentiated products (vulnerable individuals) based on price and preferences of the individual employers.
Corruption in politicians and law enforcement leads to hiding how exactly they transport and exploit victims.
Corruption in politicians and law enforcement officers contribute to both the lack of accurate information on human trafficking and the ease with which traffickers transport and exploit victims.
80% of trafficked individuals are women and girls, and 50% are minors
While there is substantial evidence that trafficking takes place within the United States (Schauer and Wheaton, 2006: 146; Mizus, et al., 2003: 4; Venkatraman, 2003; Estes and Wiener, 2001; Campagna and Poffenberger, 1988), as in the rest of the world, it is hard to quantify the number of trafficked individuals. According to US government estimates, 600,000 to 800,000 persons are trafficked across international borders annually (GAO, 2006). The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime estimates that around 2.5 million people are being trafficked around the world at any given time. It is thought that approximately 80 per cent of trafficked individuals are women and girls while around 50 per cent are minors (Under Secretary for Democracy and Global Affairs, 2007: 8).
Corruption makes it so the benefits outweigh the costs. Without corruption, their business would be erased. Thus hotspots for corruption, hidden and overt, are immediately to blame.
the benefits so greatly outweigh the costs that a willing cadre of traffickers is assured. As Bales (2005: 89) states, ‘‘Criminals are inventive. They work in a context of intense competition, they must be flexible, and they must adapt quickly or (at times literally) die’’.
Employing trafficked individuals is inherently exploitative. Lack of knowledge when clearly creating a market to be too cheap is not an excuse.
Second, many buyers demand human trafficking victims for employment for a variety of reasons. Employing trafficked individuals is by nature exploitative. In many cases, the trafficked individual does not have the right to decide whether to work, how many hours to work, or what kind of work to do (Bales, 1999: 9).
Commodification leads to fetishization of people’s genetic expressions
Third, the human trafficking market is characterized by product differentiation. Bales (2005: 158) points out that ‘‘attributes vary according to the jobs or economic sectors in which the retail consumer intends to use the trafficked person. Different attributes are needed for prostitution or agricultural work or domestic service, though these will overlap as well’’. Because there are so many different uses for trafficked individuals, the economic model in this paper assumes that the trafficker and employer negotiate over price so that the trafficker has some control of selling price.
Domestic violence, corruption, conflicts, difficulty in acquiring visas, cultural thinking are all causes of trafficking
Ejalu (2006: 171–173) suggests poverty, lack of education, urbanization and centralization of educational and employment opportunities, cultural thinking and attitude, traditional practices, domestic violence, corruption, conflicts, and difficulty in acquiring visas as causes of human trafficking.
Being cheap incentivizes negative selection, which ultimately reinforces and recreates and therefore propagates a culture of human trafficking that ultimately becomes normalized, leading to everyone being commodified and economically abused without the strength to hold these traffickers away.
Positive selection occurs when persons with higher levels of education decide to migrate because wages for high skill jobs are higher in another area. Negative selection occurs when less educated persons migrate because wages for low-skilled jobs are higher in another area.
The targeted victims receive little to no income, and therefore on purpose are stripped of their agency. Once their agency is limited, it is kept that way to keep them “commodified” (unable to dictate their own purchases; some traffickers even stalk them to make purchases for them, showing they have taken this person’s agency…that’s the definition of a rapist)
While money flows relatively freely from businesses to households in legal markets; in the
human trafficking market money flow is disrupted. The targeted victims receive little or no income, and further, lose some agency. Once agency is limited, the person is by definition a trafficked individual and is thus ‘‘commodified.’’
An agent when not commodified determines how much labor to provide and stops when the compensation is not suitable for their labor. Thus trafficking is forcing irrationality on people. The forceful implementation of irrationality can never be used for a rational argument.
An individual or household can determine how much labour to provide (‘‘labour supply’’) based in part upon the compensation offered for the hours of labour. To work, a labourer must give up time that could otherwise be used for leisure activities or to gain education and training (‘‘human capital’’ investment). Earned and unearned income allows individuals to buy combinations of goods and services. Individuals maximize wellbeing (economic ‘‘utility’’) by deciding how much labour to provide (to generate income) and how much leisure time to retain, based on the time and energy needed for each activity.
Jobs using human trafficking victims include ‘‘prostitution, domestic service, agricultural work,work in small factories and workshops, mining, land clearance, selling in the market, and begging’’ (Bales, 2005: 146–150). Due to the diversity of usage, trafficked individuals who have some similar characteristics may be sold to different types of employers.
Human traffickers ship places that accept low wages to places that pay high wages and pocket the difference on purpose. The more repulsive part is this is because places that can pay high wages actively chose not to, showing extreme irresponsibility and destroying the culture around them.
Human traffickers take advantage of the disparity between low wages and lack of employment opportunities in some areas and the seemingly abundant jobs and high wages in other areas.
The demand for slave labor from rich areas is what creates trafficking. These areas are to blame. No times are hard enough for human trafficking; they simply can’t afford whatever labor they’re trying to supplement with human trafficking anymore.
Trafficked individuals are assessed as much as US$ 100,000 each in the United States (Zakhari, 2005). Bales (1999: 23) reports that slavery is a US$ 13 billion industry. Vulnerable populations exist in every part of the world due to such factors as globalization, economic and political instability, disease, disintegration of families, and war. This has increased labour movement both within countries and across international borders resulting in a steady supply of vulnerable individuals available to traffickers. Schloenhardt (1999) says the demand for slave labour is an impetus for criminals to create an illegal market
People who even accept trafficked labor are then incentivized to traffick in more and more peoples to get traffickers to lower their price. It is that disgusting.
At very low quantities, the trafficker can charge very high prices to those employers who demand trafficked workers. Employers are willing to pay lower prices as more trafficked workers become available in the human trafficking market. Thus the marginal revenue curve is downward sloping.
The traffickers that can flip-flop between illegal and legal are the most corrupt and make the most profit because they can find a “legal” job for a worker to cover up the crime.
It is reasonable to assume that traffickers who accept the lower profit include those who have the lowest costs, are desperate for money, have networks in which the victims can be resold, or are involved in multi-stage operations in which there are different uses of the trafficked victims.
Police officers that know the techniques of trafficking and do nothing are part of the human traffickers circle
Trafficked individuals may be sold to other traffickers for further transport, sold directly to employers who demand trafficked labour, or used as labour supply by the trafficker. Because many people have some knowledge of the techniques of trafficking, traffickers are easily replaced. Feingold (2005: 28) describes these individuals as ranging from ‘‘truck drivers and village ‘aunties’ to labor brokers and police officers.’’
Migrants are commodified not as human but a cheap job. Their cultures and needs are seen as burdens. They carry this dehumanization back home with them, exacerbating the problem.
. Employers may seek trafficked individuals as a cheaper labour source, a part of what Salt (2000) calls the ‘‘commodification of migration’’. Bales (1999: 22) reports that trafficked individuals ‘‘…constitute a vast workforce supporting the global economy.’’
Slaves and indentured servants are the history of the United States. It’s not up for argument outside of delusion and someone mentally ill.
Long before 1776, Africans were coerced to immigrate and common European labourers were brought to America in one of several forms of debt-bondage known collectively as ‘‘indentured servitude’’.
Employers who push down human rights to maximize return can do that, but then they are seen permanently as undeveloped and not something you want to contaminate your economy with. This is for good reason.
Employers maximize the return on their investments by providing a minimum level of wellbeing for trafficked labour and do not have to be concerned about government-regulated human rights, constitutional rights, safety issues, or benefits for workers. Businesses may require trafficked individuals with unique selling points (USPs) (Bales, 2005: 159). For example, young labourers may be needed for long work hours or exotic, young females may be desired for prostitution. In the sex trafficking industry, different parts of the world demand trafficked individuals based upon hair and skin colour.
Human traffickers use coercion, threats to family, and confistication of documents to keep individuals from complaining to officials.
As with human traffickers, employers may use coercion, threats to family, and confiscation of documentation to keep individuals from complaining to officials. If the costs of maintaining a worker exceed the revenue he or she generates, he or she is discarded and replaced.
Trafficking prosecution is kept weak by those who “make the most dividends” as disgusting as it is
While trafficked labour is monetarily cheaper to employers than legal labour, there are additional costs involved including physical, psychological, and criminal costs. For example, there is the possible loss of social status (and therefore income) if it becomes public that the firm uses trafficked labour. In terms of criminal costs, using trafficked labour poses little risk of prosecution to employers. Penalties (including prison time and fines) for trafficking in human beings are stiff, but only if the traffickers can be caught and convicted (USDOJ, 2003: 8). Due to the underground and coercive nature of human trafficking, it is difficult for legal authorities to find and indict employers who use trafficked labour.
The most commonly described form of human trafficking is sex trafficking.
The most commonly described form of human trafficking is sex trafficking. Reynolds (1986: 4) states, ‘‘As long as some people demand prostitution services and are willing to pay for them, there will be someone else who will emerge and supply that demand.’’ A ‘‘fautor’’ is defined as the ultimate consumer of the services of a prostitute or sex-trafficked victim (Schauer and Wheaton, 2006); although knowledge of the victim’s trafficked status may not be known. If in general consumers do not know about the trafficked-labour content of their purchases, it follows that fautors may be unaware that the prostitutes they frequent are held in bondage.
Orange juice manufacture trafficking is a good example of how trafficking policing is kept weak and incompetent. When you see that, you know someone is extremely unethical, knows, and is making the big bucks. Truly evil.
When those profiting from the use of forced labour in the orange juice industry (Bowe, 2007) are not under suspicion, people who consume orange juice may be unaware, or may not wish to be aware, of its use. As an example, during the time of his research, Bowe reports that there were only two officers assigned to the whole southern area of Florida to check on orange juice production and harvesting.
The problem of informational dissemination is similar to the use of slave labor for clothing; even when informed, the average person shows a disturbing narcissism of out of sight, out of mind and choses money over human beings. This is seriously inhuman behavior and not ok.
Reducing the demand for trafficked humans means decreasing benefits to employers of employing trafficked labour, whether on-site or through subcontracting. If information is used to educate consumers about the horrors trafficked individuals face, consumer boycotts of certain products and services can be used to decrease benefits to employers. Another way is to increase police administration intent to prioritize enforcement of trafficking offences.
Reducing the incidence of human trafficking must therefore become a global response and a top priority. However, that will require people to put together things that aren’t immediately obvious; it will require global comprehension a narcissistic population cannot support (out of sight, out of mind is not usually able to have the global comprehension to see how human trafficking eventually comes full circle with normalized commodification).
Productivity resulting from individual agency and economic gain is a key to national and global economic growth. Human trafficking tears apart the structure of local economies, adds to the bureaucratic and law enforcement burden at all levels of government, and destroys people’s lives. It leads to increased crime and immigration problems, decreased safety for vulnerable populations, and decreased welfare for nations (Bertone, 2000). Human trafficking affects the global economy as source countries lose part of their labour supplies and transit and destination countries deal with the costs of illegal immigration. Breakdowns in international trade relations can occur when human trafficking becomes a bargaining issue. Reducing the incidence of human trafficking must therefore become a global response goal and a top priority of communities, law enforcement, and policymakers
Anti-trafficking starts with ending corruption
Bales (2007: 19) gives a list of anti-trafficking policies including ending world poverty, eradicating corruption, slowing the population explosion, halting environmental destruction and armed conflicts, canceling international debts, and getting governments to keep the promises they make every time they pass a law.
John schools for police to stop using human trafficking thinking in their everyday thinking (thinking crimes can’t happen to certain people is human trafficking thinking if there is clear evidence they do happen; it shows dehumanization and the selective destruction of human rights…thinking this won’t arrive full circle is seriously wrong)
Law enforcement officers also need to improve their ability to identify and intervene in human trafficking. Schauer and Wheaton (2006: 166) state, ‘‘Police must receive training in trafficking law enforcement, how to identify trafficking, how to perceive the paradigm shift [from criminal to victim], how to rescue victims and how to make contacts for victim services, and how to deal with victims who may willingly serve as witnesses in the prosecution of traffickers’’.
Understanding victims need to come forward about traffickers is the first step. Understanding their position and hating the perpetrator, not the victim, is the first step.
With the rapidly-increasing anti-immigration activism in first world countries and the resultant rapid fortification of borders against illegal entry, laws and law enforcement have tended to identify anyone who has entered a country illegally as a criminal. The United National Office of Drugs and Crime states, ‘‘Police and criminal justice staff needs standard working procedures to guarantee the physical safety of victims, protect their privacy and make it safe for them to testify against their abusers’’ (United National Office of Drugs and Crime, 2009).
After the violence of commodification, structure is required to prevent collapse back into denied and minimized value, similar to how sexual abuse victims have to be provided with extra structure to prevent the normalization of their abusers’ logic again
In addition, staff and volunteers of international organizations need training to recognize warning signs of trafficking and the steps of responding. Support is needed to provide the finances and recognition needed to provide antislavery workers on the front lines with the training in conflict resolution, community building, and victim services to transform people from victims into productive wage earners. Funders and funding agencies should be encouraged to work toward providing stable funding for groups working on antislavery projects in the field.
Traffickers sometimes are ready to pivot into legal employers. This has to be a known possibility and they cannot be more lenient on the traffickers who will revert back to taking away human rights as a profit the minute they think they can.
This paper presents the economic model of human trafficking as one in which the traffickers procure vulnerable individuals and sell them to employers. There is evidence that in some human trafficking cases, the trafficker becomes the employer. The model presented here can be modified by identifying the vulnerable populations as the labour supply and the traffickers acting as employers as the labour demand.

i’m not even sure where to post this but i’m struggling mentally so i am hoping somebody here can help me.
When i was 17 i developed an eating disorder after my grandma and aunties were comparing me my sisters and my cousins. I had stopped playing sports due to and injury and gain a little weight, meanwhile my cousins were losing weight and they thought it was funny we switched & wondered if i get big like them or my sisters. i did so much cardio and starving myself the next two weeks, i was back to my size, and i continued until i was the smallest in my family. Despite being a few inches taller than one of my aunties i made it my goal to be 5 pounds less than her. I eventually became very underweight and my ex boyfriend forced me to eat more and go to therapy. i now have a better relationship with food and i love to try new foods, but i still find myself having days were i don’t have a healthy relationship with food. I may give myself a day but i make sure to eat at least 3 meals and a snack pretty much everyday. the days i have a bad relationship with food i’ll still make myself eat one meal and two snacks. But that hasn’t been the case for a few weeks now.
my fasfa card got stolen & my bank account was emptied out, at the beginning of last month canceling my last two rent payments. ( i was late for one month and early for the second) i’ve been working with my bank to get the money back but have been struggling to do so now i’m 2 months behind on rent, i just paid this months today (2 days later) but until i can get reimbursed by the bank all my money has to go to rent. i live in a college dorm and i cannot access the dining hall until my balance is cleared. they understood so they gave me a grace period for the meal plan for 3 weeks. that ended 2 weeks ago. so i don’t have a kitchen in my dorm i can’t make food, take out is so expensive i can maybe be able to eat once a day depending how many hours of tutoring i do. i can see the weight dropping off my body and i’m scared because i don’t feel hungry anymore. I eat at college, I’ll get a breakfast sandwich because they are super cheap and i take advantage of the free snacks. but im struggling a lot bc i know if this goes on longer i’ll break my recovery the second i become underweight and i’m only 5 pounds from there.
i need advice on dorm friendly cheap filling foods, and motivational things to tell myself to force myself to stay in recovery. i also need advice on how i can approach a trusted professor from college to see what help can be offered to me.
before my money was drained i had a’s in 6 classes i was dropped from 4 and im failing the other two. i have no motivation to turn all my late work in or do it because i feel so drained and finals are in two weeks.
i also need advice on my dorm because i tried to resign my lease and i thought i did because they sent me a text stating i did but after my rent issue they a are telling me i need to complete it before the deadline.

Gusto ko ilabas to... Sa magulang bakit ba tayo nag anak? What is the reason?
Ako ay magulang na din, naganak ako kasi gusto ko maging mabuting mother. Dream ko na magkaanak.
Some people question me (mostly boomers) why ganun ako ka hands on sa mga anak ko. Enrolled them sa mga summer classes na pwede naman di na daw. At kung anu anu pa...
Why I was asking this? Kasi yan palagi question ko sa sarili ko pagdating sa magulang ko... It took me a very long time to realize I have a poor narc parents...
Mother is the loud narc one and father is the timid type enabler narc.
Di nila ako pinagaral kahit they have decent jobs... I am the eldest.
My mother guilt tripped my aunt para pagaralin ako sa college. Why? My aunt is working abroad single walang pamilya... And para tantanan ng nanay ko ung auntie ko pinagaral ako yan sabi ng mismong auntie ko. Para pag nakatapos ako, ako na daw guluhin ng nanay ko.
I grabbed that opportunity. Nagaral ako at nakatapos sa college. Kahit in between dun kinukuha ng nanay ko ung tuition at allowance ko so napilitan ako magworking student at nagwork sa fastfood chain.
Fast forward I have a family of my own. Parents are both retired. Isa lang ung may pension kasi kung di pa aasikasuhin ng isa kong kapatid wala makukuha. When I say poor narc... One day millionare sila gumastos noon at wala silang mga pinagtapos na anak. Ung pera nila ginastos nila as for themeselves... Pag ginastusan ka nila its because they want to feel good about themeselves tapos in the future isusumbat sayu yan. Yung libre na di mo naman kailangan.
Before they retire di na talaga kami okay magkakapatid to them... We learn to avoid or blocked them sa mga rants nila.
Pero it still hurt us kapag masasakit na mga salita na isumpa ka nila dahil lang di ka nabigyan ng certain money or attention na gusto nila...
Now they keep on telling the relatives that kinalimutan na sila because they dont have money na daw. Sasabihin na pinapabayaan...
Nakakaorder sila ng food na sakin ung credit... Hati kami ng isa kong brother sa bills nila...yung meds nila nakukuha sa brgy (at first ayaw nila. I know them kasi cheap sa kanila asking for meds sa mga brgy)
All they have to do is to take care of themeselves nakakaalis naman sila.
But di un sapat sa kanila why? Because we are not giving them money... Maluho sila... They want to flaunt na may kaya sila... They always want to brag... Alam ng iba nakatapos kaming lahat at sila ang nagwork ng bongga para samin... But it's the opposite...
Halos ako ang tumayong magulang ng mga kapatid ko since highschool ako...
Ang alam ng relatives sila ung sumasagot samin ever since eh kami kami lang magkakapatid nagtutulungan...
Nalaman ko pa kapag daw bday party ng mga anak ko nanay ko daw sumasagot nung nagwowork pa siya which is absolutely not true...
We work our assess off ng asawa ko just to give the best for our children...
Minsan na nga nasabi sakin ng nanay ko na wag muna ako magbayad ng tuition para may maibigay sa kanya?
Paulit ulit na ginugulo nila isip ko mentally di ako healthy pagdating sa kanila. Makakaya kong siraan nila ako and everything eh...
Pero ung gaslighting, guilt tripping, verbal abuse na ginagawa sakin sobra na... Ako pinagiinitan nila kasi sa lahat ng magkakapatid ako ung may ofw husband. So parang nageexpect sila na dapat maambunan eh kaya nga nagabroad asawa ko dahil di sapat sa mga bata...
Kaya nagtataka sila bakit late na nagabroad asawa ko kasi ang tagal bago ko ihanda sarili ko na alam ko mas lalo akong di tatantanan ng parents ko... Kaso need na kasi may future plans kami ni hubby...
The first year na nakaalis hubby ko binigyan ako ng tatay ko ng listahan ng utang ko... Gulat ako ang laki 🥹 ultimo mga simpleng libre sa mga anak ko nakalagay dun in detailed... Pero nung pinaaral ko mga kapatid ko, mga bills at appliances na binili ko nung single ako at mga inutangan nila na ako nagbayad. Thank you na lang 😅
Di ko gets...
Kung kelan nilalapit ko uli ung sarili ko sa kanila. Ayan nagsimula na naman... Telling me may cancer ung isa and requesting stuff na di related sa sakit... na "huling hiling ng papa mo" word... pero wala mapakitang diagnosis... Tapos nung nangulit ako wala naman nakalagay na may cancer pero need lang ng mga vitamins dahil sa katandaan...
Umiiyak na lang ako... Di ko alam kung anung gusto nilang mangyari... Gusto ko maging milyonaryo kahit sa kanila na yun. Tantanan na lang nila ako 😭😭😭

Hi gang!
Backstory
My main hobby, almost a passion of mine, is digital audio; I consider myself quite the audio nutjob ;) My main tools of trade are Ableton Live, FL Studio as well as some hardware like an high end audio interface and a pair of studio monitors so that you can actually hear something ;)
While I consider myself more of an audio engineer rather than a musician I do have my moments of (trying to) compose melodies and making music snippets. Fun times.
The family on my girlfriends side also learned of this because at some time I restored a piece of music for an aunt of hers. It was an old recording on a cassette tape which had degraded quite a bit over time, fortunately it was nothing which the iZotope suite (and many hours of fiddling) couldn't handle. So to them I somewhat became "the audio guy".
The request
So my gf's aunt organized an anniversary party to celebrate her marriage. They also wanted some music to be played during the event but the party wasn't big enough to justify hiring an actual DJ. As such they asked my gf if I would be willing (and capable) to help out. She asked me and I didn't really see a problem with it, though we had to make some preparations because my home studio wasn't exactly build with mobility in mind.
We ended up temporarily authorizing my gf's laptop for some of my software, the aunt paid for the transportation costs (basically: two sturdy bags to safely transport my monitors and my Push controller) and we also had a list of music they wanted to be played.
This was important because... thing about studio monitors: they don't bother with filtering or what not, what you have is what you hear. They also support a much broader frequency spectrum.
Now... a thing about my studio monitors: they're a pair of JBL monitors, series 104. The fun thing is that they're not really big (approx. 15 x 15 x 25cm) but they pack a punch. They're also much heavier than you might assume at first, because of that they can provide quite some solid bass sounds as well. Generally speaking their total RMS is approx. 100 W. More than enough to fill a moderately sized living room.
The (small) incident
So we got up early and went to the party. We were basically going to stay there for most of the day but because the both of us didn't want to get home too late we decided that we were going home before dinner, which was no problem at all because the party would end shortly after; and during dinner people would be mostly talking anyway so... no more need for music.
We arrived at the house and gf's aunt was very happy to see us. She reserved a small table for the equipment, had already figured out where the speakers should be placed and she had even set up signs saying "Don't touch the equipment!". Very thoughtful of her indeed!
But the moment I unpacked my monitors her mood changed a bit, she actually looked a bit disappointed: "What's that?", she asked. I told her that these were my studio monitors which I intended to use. "Those tiny things? Surely you're joking? How do you expect people to hear the music this way? I'm expecting around 30 people!", she muttered. I told her that it really wouldn't be an issue but she was visibly annoyed and didn't believe me.
"I suppose I should thank you for the effort... but.... you know what, never mind: I'll just tell the guests that they need to keep their voices down...", and that annoyed me a little bit. These monitors weren't cheap and can pack quite a punch. Not to mention that I'm mighty proud of my audio equipment.
Time for some petty revenge!
Now, I did get a little annoyed because of all this but also made sure not to let it get to me. Not too much anyway. So when gf's aunt asked me to start the music and asked me to "try and make it somewhat audible" I was more than happy to oblige ;)
I turned up the volume to approx. 90% of its maximum, queue'd Alannah Myles awesome "Black Velvet" and let her rip ;)
So now people had to actually shout to get some conversations across, and not only that, a few minutes later the next door neighbors also called asking gf's aunt to please turn the noise down a bit :P
Credit where credit's due though... auntie took it like a champ. She came up to me and told / shouted that my monitors were much louder than they looked, and if I could please turn things down a little? Which I obviously did. We had a good laugh about this and I really respect her for telling me that she was obviously wrong.
Rest of the party went without issues, and we all had a great time. I did raise the volume one more time when Vera Lynn's "Snap" came up, this is my gf's absolute favorite <3
But yeah... don't judge things you don't know about by their looks, you may end up surprised. Or in this case, a little bit deafened ;)
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
​

I (15M) have always been abused by my 46yo mother and was always told to do most of the housework such as washing dishes, laundry, cleaning floors of a cluttered hoarders paradise (aka the house), cook food, do clothes that are mostly not mine and are a giant pile usually as well as keep my extremely overeactive twin 6yo brothers from making loud noise and/or crying as well as look after them while she lays down in bed and only gets up when junkies or drúg dealers show up, I also have to keep my 11yo and 13yo brothers in check to make sure they do their jobs right and they are doing them on the first place, I also work a job at a department store and usually get my money taken by my mom or guilt tripped into giving her money because she needs for food (dinner food and chocolate and sweets) and this amount is usually like 50 to 100 dollars per week so I also have to pay monthly bills for google and YouTube music, my mom has not had a job since I was born and lives off welfare but she has multiple mental and health issues that makes me believe she is on her deathbed but she manages to get up critique me and my effort on doing housework and proceed to slap and dig her fingernails into the younger twins for yelling too loud or making a mess because I didn’t watch them at the time because I thought my middle child brother was looking after them as he claims he does and then proceed to yell and hurl extremely awful insults such as calling us drug fucked sperm (my dad is dead btw) and goes to her sitting room to smoke and hit cones (slang for weed) and then goes back to bed to watch movies, she occasionally goes and hurts me and my two brothers (minus the twins) for “being lazy” and “not doing my job” and then proceeds to belt is with cords, comer us and kick the middle child repeatedly and then punches me and my brother down from me, we have been taken by child safety for my mom stabbing a guy who threatened me (I was 6 at the time) and then was neglected by my auntie and barely let us go inside during the day but let my cousins in at all times, but recently I finally got to my limit when my mom got incredibly violent over a cheap watch (yes really) and made me back away until I hit a camp bed where she struck me across the jaw and I fell onto the bed and was told that I was hit that hard told to get the fuck up and a month ago my brother took her vapes and cigarettes and she proceeded to bash the fuck outta him so 4 weeks ago I decided enough was enough and told the school about the situation in their response they sent child protection unit of the police to interview me and just two days later me and my brothers got put in emergency custody and so for me I got an order to go to my grandparents house but my mom keeps trying to contact me and say that she was not in the wrong and I was lying but the twins and the middle want to go back but me and my brother don’t want to talk to her ever again AITA for making my brothers get taken away when they clearly still love her so much

This guide is meant to assist with understanding the underlying mechanics of sleight of hand and pickpocketing in BG3. It covers all variables that affect sleight of hand rolls, the pickpocketing Target roll math, and what you need to always succeed with every sleight of hand check in the game in Chapter 3. There's also a cheese section with tips for players who want to give themselves unlimited money and consumables.

Stats That Raise Sleight of Hand: Attribute Bonuses, Skills and Proficiencies

Dexterity Skill Bonus to Sleight of Hand Checks

• (8 Dex) -1 to Sleight of Hand
  
• (10) 0
  
• (12) +1
  
• (14) +2
  
• (16) +3
  
• (18) +4
  
• (20) +5
  
• (22) +6
  
• (24) +7
  

Act 1 Sources: +2 ASI feat (up to 20), +1 from many feats (up to 20), +1 Auntie Ethel's hair
Act 3 Sources: +2 Mirror of Loss (up to 24), Nimblefinger Gloves +2 Dex (gnomes) +1 Dex (dwarves/halflings)

Sleight of Hand Proficiency

• lvl 1 (+3)
  
• lvl 9 (+4)
  

Sources:

• Background (Charlatan, Urchin)
  
• Class (Rogue 1, Bard 3, Ranger 1 with Urban Tracker)
  

Sleight of Hand Expertise

• lvl 1 (+3)
  
• lvl 9 (+4)
  

Sources:

• Class (Rogue 6, Bard 10)

Items with Flat Bonuses

Act 1: Smuggler's Ring +2 SoH
Act 1: Balance Trait +1 Dex saving throws and ability checks
Sources:

• Hedge Wanderer Armour
  
• Hide Armour +1/2
  
• Leather Armour +2
  
• Chain Shirt +2
  
• Breastplate +2
  

Act 1: Gloves of Power +1 SoH
Act 3: Nimblefinger Gloves [+2 Dex (gnomes), +1 Dex (dwarves/halflings)] and +1 SoH

Rolls and Buffs

Roll 1D20 //// Reliable Talent 10 min on a D20 (lvl 11 Rogue Class Feature)
Mark of Shifter 1D4

• Shapeshifter's Boon Ring + Disguise Self or Seeming cast on Self
• *Let the Strange Ox kill you in the Grove. The Ox is displeased by the conflict and will let you trade to make it up them. The ring is in their inventory. Be careful not to have your entire party nearby during the fight or you risk wiping as the Tieflings nearby all aggro.

Guidance 1D4

• Silver Pendant
  
• Class Level 1: Cleric, Druid
  
• Class Level 3: Warlock (via Pact of the Tome)
  
• Magic Initiate Feat: Cleric, Druid
  

Racial Bonuses

Halfling Luck - Reroll 1s, works with advantage

SoH Advantage

Enhance Ability (Cat's Grace) - Lvl 2 spell, (Class Level 3: Bard , Cleric , Druid , and Sorcerer)
Act 1: Gloves of Thievery
Act 1: The Graceful Cloth

Pickpocketing Target Number

Target = Item's target roll (Max 30) - (Dex bonus + SoH proficiency + SoH expertise + SoH Item bonuses)
When looking at the Target number when buffed and wearing armor with Balance trait,

• -3 Flat to Target Roll (2D4 min roll + 1 Balance)
  
• -9 Max to Target Roll (2D4 max roll + 1 Balance)
  

*The +1 from Balance trait is not included in the Target number because it is a +1 to dex skill checks

• *Medium armor proficiency required to wear armor with Balance trait

*The +1 minimum roll from Mark of Shifter is not included in the Target number because it is a 1d4 bonus to skill checks
*The +1 minimum roll from Guidance is not included in the Target number because it is a 1d4 bonus to skill checks
Lucky does not work for Sleight of Hand pickpocketing skill checks
Roll a 1 on the D20 (Critical Fail) and you will auto fail the roll, unless you have Reliable Talent

Act 1, lvl 6 Rogue thieving optimized:

• +5 20 Dex from feats + Ethel's hair
  
• +6 Expertise for Lvl 6 Rogue
  
• +2 Smuggler's Ring
  
• +1 Gloves of Power
  
• +1 Balance Armor
  
• +1d4 Guidance (cast from another party member)
  
• +1d4 Mark of Shifter
  
• Advantage from Enhance Ability
  

Total: 1D20 + 15 + 2D4 with advantage

• Min: 18
  
• Avg: 35 {13.825 + 15 + (2x3.125)}
  
• Max: 43
  

Recruit the Lightfoot Halfling Brinna Brightsong for the Halfling Luck feature if your Tav/Durge isn't a halfling for lucky halfling reroll on 1s, respec to Rogue with 17 starting Dex and 16 Cha in case you have to talk your way out

Act 3 Auto Success

30 Auto Succeeds All Sleight of Hand checks

• 10 base roll (Reliable Talent lvl 11 Rogue)
• +13 (20 Dex and SoH Prof/Exp from Rogue)
• +4 (Ring, Gloves, Armour)
• +3 (D20 min roll + 2d4 min roll from Shapeshifter's Boon Ring and Guidance)

*Once you reach 30, you don't need advantage from Cat's Grace, The Graceful Cloth, or Gloves of Thievery

Cheese and Words of Warning

• Turn based mode is your friend. Vendors won't know you've stolen until you are long gone. Get into range while hiding, then turn on TBM and pickpocket. Once you finish picking their pocket, bonus action dash or click heels and run out of Line of Sight. You can also quickly teleport using quick travel as soon as you leave TBM.
  
• Every time you level up (including respec leveling up), the game repopulates each vendor's inventory.
  
• Withers doesn't care that you pickpocket him. Neither does Lorroakan's Projection.
  
• Vendor attitude via the Barter tab costs the least at lvl 1 and incrementally increases each level. Respec to get cheap vendor rep.
  
• Vendors lose 5 attitude every time they catch you pickpocketing them. If their attitude meter goes into the red, they will attack if they catch you. It can be worth it to load a vendor up with gold for reputation, as it buys you additional attempts to steal before they aggro.
  
• Blurg and Omeluum will teleport and no longer be available as vendors if you aggro them in Ch 1. It seems that once aggro'd it takes them a few rounds before they leave, so you may have time to escape and reset.
  
• Certain vendors will turn their zone permanently hostile if they catch you at all. Brem in the Zhent's hideout and A'jak'nir Jeera in Crèche Y'llek come to mind.
  
• Vendors will move out of range of a Fog cloud (spell or cloak) or Darkness effect (spell or arrow). Cast it just out of range of hitting the vendor as to not draw aggro and once they reposition around the edge, steal while inside the aoe. You'll be blinded too undless you use the ring or another feature that lets you see in magical darkness. It can be super convenient to use the Fog Cloud cloak on a bonus action to generate the cloud, then use your main action to steal.
  
• You can one shot bosses by reverse pickpocketing them and giving them a ton of gold, then hit them with the Twist of Fortune special attack (Blood Money).
  

Good Luck, Have Fun

Hello Darlings! I am SO excited to announce my overpriced discovery sample set arrived in the mail! 💌💸 It truly did unlock plenty of emotions for myself, and being the loving 🥰 and caring person that I am.. I thought I should review these for you so that you save yourselves a migraine! 🙏🏼 So lets begin! 🍾
MORE SEX 😍: This smells like your Uber driver that insists on getting your phone number and can’t seem to take no for an answer. He always wants more, more, more when you say NoNoNo. The smokey leather of his entry level civic combine with a generous splash of musk (gotta get the ladies!!) will turn even the strongest of stomachs! -10/10
LOVE FREQUENCY 🌹: I am a huge rose snob so I won’t go easy. Who doesn’t love the smell of cheap, synthetic roses? Especially when blended with a nose-hair burning cashmere? At first it smells like wine (probably the alcohol used because this projects like a beast!) and I was worried I would be left with an instant hangover. A perfectly simple two-note punch. I will admit that I got a waft of this from 15 feet away is rather nice yet fleeting. Kind-of like walking by a store. 4/10
JOYPHORIA ☀️: I don’t mind this. Neroli and powdery YlangYlang. I’ve smelled something similar to this on many Catholic Aunties at church. The projection has a solar note which is also nice. 5/10.
MAGIC ENERGY 🪄: My favourite but that doesn’t say much. It’s giving cool water Santal 33 vibes. Like if you were to pour one into the used bottle of the other. Will throw in Hubby’s samplers container. 7/10
CALM BLISS 🧘‍♀️: Laundry Dryer Sheets. The generic kind. On first spray, I literally tossed the blotter in disgust. 2/10
COSMIC POWER 💥: Maybe my nose just hurts, maybe it’s the pepper but I could not stop sneezing. After that whole ordeal, I will admit that this one isn’t half bad! I like the incense and spice. Also very masculine so will be tossing in with Magic Energy. 6/10
CONCLUSION: Nothing new! Charlotte hoped she was being unique but failed. The concept is like something you would hear a drunk girl in the bar loo tell you about. “I have the BEST MOST UNIQUE IDEA! Perfume! That … affects your MOOD!”
These are synthetic, generic two/three note smells that shouldn’t cost most than $15.00. Anthropologie has beautifully blended scents for the same price if you want something nice and budget friendly. I wish people would just stay in their lane when it comes to product manufacturing and I really hope that I don’t start smelling any of these everywhere just because of the name.

Black Sheep Family
Part 55
Arc 5
The Velocity of Madness
“These four constants are Life, Death, the Purpose and the Random.” ~ Stephen King
(B)(S)(F)
GO!
Sunday, February 19, 2079
Cassandra was lounging on the couch in the den when the knock came. She got up and answered the door and smiled wide when she saw it was Bubbles. She let him in and he returned the smile as he kneeled down slightly.
“I’m here to talk with your dad, some important information has come to light.” He gripped her shoulders. “Keep holding on to hope.”
“I am. Anna’s upstairs doing all her research on the area in the Amazon we’re going to. Apparently there are man-eating monsters there.” Cassandra smiled.
Bubbles nodded, “Then we’ll be prepared.”
Cassandra nodded. “I’m gonna go back to watching the Animal Assistant.”
“That a show?” Bubbles asked.
“Movie.” Cassandra smiled, “Papa called it a knock off of an old movie Danny has about a doctor that talks to animals.”
Bubbles nodded, “As long as you’re enjoying it.”
“Hey Bubs!” Agatha said as she pushed past his frame to get into the house, Jack was following her.
“Agent.” Jack nodded.
“Hello you two.” Bubbles nodded. “Staying safe I hope, no risky fights.”
Agatha snorted. “We have more to worry from my mom at this point.”
Jack shook his head, “No fights, just going over how to take care of Alan’s garden while they’re out of town.”
Bubbles nodded, “Time for my meeting.” He made his way to Alan’s office.
Cassandra looked up at her sister. “Wanna join me for a movie?”
“Animal Assistant.” Jack nodded, “It’s not bad.”
Agatha nodded, “Sure.”
Cassandra smiled as they sat on the couch, Agatha was surprised to find Cassandra snuggling up to her. She smiled and nodded.
“Mom busy with prepping?” Agatha asked.
Cassandra nodded.
“Don’t worry. We’ll get this done before Thrush gets the school fixed.” Agatha smiled and stroked her sister’s hair, then paused. “This doesn’t hurt those tiny eyes, does it?”
Cassandra shook her head, “Feels nice.”
“I know.” Agatha smiled, “Let’s watch, huh?”
Cassandra didn’t say anything as she let the feeling of being loved and comforted soak into her. Cxaltho did eventually slip into the spot Agatha was stroking and got a mean glare for a brief moment from the older sister before moving to comfort him as well.
---B)(S)(F---*
Bubbles stepped into Alan’s formerly barren office. Currently travel and expedition gear was stacked high. Alan was reading over instructions of a first aid manual and several first aid kits.
“Not allergic to antivenins, are you?” Alan didn’t look up.
“No.” Bubbles said, “Just bees.”
“Sucks.” Alan nodded and noticed Bubbles was carrying an envelope. “That the pre-change DNA test?”
Bubbles nodded, “It was an eye opener.” He held it out for Alan.
Alan was not new to surprises from tests. His own genetic tests had proved he and Stephen were mostly a genetic slurry made from the recombination of multiple donors. SLowly he opened it and read the information, then he read it again. Then he put it on his desk and tried to focus on anything other than the murderous rage he was feeling.
“She disappeared two days ago. The tests went through her hospital.” Bubbles said calmly. “I was more struck by the other matches.”
Alan picked the envelope again and read further down. “I know this name. He does that Hero Fight bullshit stuff.”
Bubbles said nothing, but nodded.
“And that’s Psi-Ko as a...” Alan put the paper down again. “That’s a fucked up family tree.”
“Are you going to tell her?” Bubbles asked.
“I have to.” Alan sighed. “Felsh...” Alan shook his head. “She did that to her own flesh and blood.” He sat down and took a deep breath as he focused and reached out to his wife’s mind, then came back to focus with Bubbles.
“Do you want me around?” Bubbles asked.
“Besides Endara, Snake Shifter, and myself, you're the only adult she’s had positive interactions with outside of school. Please.” Alan sighed. “Stay for dinner please.”
“I had my schedule cleared.” Bubbles nodded. “Should I keep my agents on speed-dial?” He let the smallest edge of a smirk crack his face.
Alan shook his head, “Endara will be pissed, but she won’t go atomic on us. More worried Anna might.”
“She is very close to Cassandra.” Bubbles nodded. “Made fast friends and faster sisters.”
“Anna...” Alan sighed, “I don’t want to say she’s naive, but she sees the best in people, sometimes when she shouldn’t. Granted she already didn’t like Felsh.”
“I feel I should advise you that I've gone on a deep dive of government DNA profiles. Checking to see how long she’s been around. She barely looks thirty. She shouldn’t be the mother of Cassandra and Abigail Fleisch” Bubbles advised as he took of his sunglasses.
Alan nodded, “Then the question is how long has she been at it, and how many years of experience does she have evading people? Decades, a lifetime, multiple lifetimes? It’s scary.”
“And she’s clearly GLOBAL.” Bubbles nodded.
“Salem’s added her to his list.” Alan nodded, “Probably has multiple bullet holes in the picture by now.”
“He is...” Bubbles thought on his words for a moment. “Protective of your children.”
“He’s protective of people who give him a chance. And he hates GLOBAL.” Alan sighed, “Look, I’m gonna start a big fuckign dinner, you want meatloaf?”
Bubbles smiled, “And I’ll even help.”
Alan laughed, “Come on, you can be my sous chef.”
“You know that word?” Bubbles barked a quick laugh.
Alan did a double take and blinked as he watched the smile vanish from Bubbles’ face. “Fucking troll.” He snorted and made his way to the kitchen.
---B)(S)(F---*
Salem was skimming reports of the recovery of Burlin’s body. He didn’t like it, the neatness of turning to stone was too coincidental and reeked of some college freshman’s literary project. He finished for the third time that day and growled at it. A knock came at his door and he ignored it for a moment. Then it came again.
“Sawyer, get-” He paused, remembering Sawyer was busy repairing some pipes on the fourth floor.
Salem stood up and focused, putting on his human guise as he opened the door and saw Samantha Canning shaking her head, holding a shopping bag.
“Still a piss poor disguise.” She snorted.
“Sam.” Salem blinked.
“It’s good to see you. Nice to know you found another place to belong.” Samantha smiled. “If I’m welcome-”
Salem lurched forward and hugged his old friend. “A’course you are. Too few of us left.”
“Would have thought you hated me.” Samantha smiled.
“No, not you, just the fuckers who got my kids killed.” Salem growled and let her in. “What you got?”
“Some whiskey, cloned blood and cheap as fuck steaks.” She looked around, “I thought I heard you call for Sawyer.”
“He’s up stairs fixing things.” Salem waved dismissively. “Honestly I think he likes this just a little more than security for the Quains.”
“So I hear. How’s operations treating you?” Samantha asked.
“Pretty damn good. Money goes to more upkeep her and the other places and I’m helping his kid with computer stuff in down and his new kid’s a sweetheart.”
“One you’re not leaping to help as I understand it.” Samantha said.
“I am, in my way.” Salem led her to his kitchen.
The calico cat named Ruby rubbed against Samantha’s legs.
“Ruby.” Samantha blinked, “Always knew that cat wasn’t normal.” She reached down and scratched the cat behind the ears.
Salem set the oven to heat. “Three minutes and we can broil, unless you want to use the electric grill.”
“No regular one?” Samantha asked.
“Not safe in this type of building, have’em outside if you wanna wait for sundown.” Salem nodded.
“Sounds good for me.” Samantha smiled and pulled out the whiskey and bottles of cloned blood and sat them on the table.
“Shit, that the General’s brand?” Salem noticed the whiskey.
“Yeah, the old bastard got me hooked on it.” Samantha laughed, “Heard you found the truth, more than we ever did.”
“You had your hands tied.” Salem waved it off with a snort, “But I got them in my sights. Got their scents.”
“Scents?” Samantha asked, “More than one?”
Salem nodded, “Alan sent me some info. Tough shit to read but we know Dr. Ingrid Felsh is one of them. Likely assumed an identity or made it. Still looking into that.”
“Sounds like serious shit.” Samantha nodded.
There was a moment of silence as Samantha Canning realized her old friend was now sizing her up as a potential threat.
“Don’t give me that look, Salem.” Samantha stared back and opened the whiskey.
“Was on the cameras. Was he right? You still in the game?” Salem’s eyes were slightly more bloodshot as he asked the question.
Samantha leaned on his kitchen table. “You know damn well I can’t answer that with you.”
Salem nodded, “The kids are off limits.”
“You know me, if I’m still in the game it’s not to hurt anyone.” Samantha frowned. “They mean that much to you?”
“Anna’s the first person in a long time to see past the mask.” Salem nodded, “Cassie needs a friend who’s gonna be ‘round more than a lifetime. Danny and Agatha are good kids, average teens with more drama than they deserve. So, yeah. They mean a lot to me. Sawyer too, he just won't admit it.” He looked at his watch and nodded, “Twenty minutes and we can cook.”
“Cook what?” Sawyer called from the door as he walked in and made his way to the kitchen.
“Holy shit!” Sawyer jumped as he entered the kitchen and tried to quickly salute Samantha.
“You mocking me, dumbass?” Samantha snorted and flipped him off
“A little.” Sawyer smiled and hugged his old friend. “What gives with the visit?”
“She’s teaching at the Academy. Was involved with the bullshit.” Salem explained. “Agatha ratted us out.”
“That little cat printed from my phone says otherwise.” Samantha smirked, “The hell was that, actually?”
“Radio signal. Round I fired had a matching transmitter. Friggin’ Richboy helping fund the Company has warping rounds. Cost way too damn much to use, I had to be sure I’d hit him.” Salem nodded. “She brought gifts.” He nodded to the table.
“The brand...” Sawyer whistled when he saw the whiskey and grabbed a few glasses. “This is gonna suck for me, but it's worth it.”
“Brought some mixings for you two.” Samantha laughed.
“Sam...” Sawyer shook his head, “Nah, still Boss.”
Samantha snorted and shook her head. “Fine, just leave some from crabby-pants.”
“I am not a crabby-pants.” Salem frowned as Ruby jumped up on the counter and nuzzled him.
“Well, when you get a chance we need to have a professional look at all of the fourth floor.” Sawyer let out a whistle. “Someone either shaved a Saint Bernard or we have a sasquatch in the building.”
“Yuck.” Samantha winced.
“Speaking of hair things, you heard from Mack?” Salem asked.
“Mack went for a long walk.” Samantha nodded solemnly.
“Fucking Aussie bastard.” Sawyer muttered.
“To the Dream Time.” Salem grabbed a glass and filled it with whiskey.
Sawyer did the same but mixed his with the blood. Samantha had just the whiskey. Then they toasted to old friends and war buddies before heading out to cook steaks and share old memories.
---B)(S)(F---*
Dinner was over at the Quain household. Cassandra was happy, but not surprised the Bubbles was coming along to help. Then Alan nodded to her and she heard his voice in her head.
¶We have news we need to share with you. It’s not all pleasant but you have a right to know. Do you want to share it with the others now?¶ Alan’s voice was gentle but there was no illusion that the information would be known by the entire family eventually.
Cassandra paused for a moment to consider the possibilities. Cxaltho insisted they would be getting bad news, but could get extra desserts out of it. Cassandra had to suppress a laugh but responded, ¶Private for now.¶
Alan nodded and stood, “Cassandra, let’s go to my office.” Alan looked at the other teens “The rest of you, privacy time.”
Anna nodded and went to her room.
“It’s fine, I have a boyfriend to go chat with.” Agatha smiled.
“I think I have a girlfriend for that now too...” Danny stood and was clearly trying to figure that out.
“I worry about my boy sometimes.” Alan sighed.
“Does this include me being excluded?” Stephen asked.
Cassandra smiled, “You can come.”
Bubbles cleared his throat and nodded to Alan.
“You can come too grampa, auntie.” Cassandra smiled.
Jazz nodded, “I think I know what this is about. Best not confirm it all too soon with me.” She stood up, “I’m gonna go find someone to make trouble with.”
Daniel nodded at Cassandra, “I’ll be there for you.
A few minutes later, after Alan put leftovers away and gave Bubbles some spare meatloaf, they all met in Alan’s office. He waited for a moment, standing by the door. Then he slammed his fist against the door and heard a scampering of feet.
“Agatha?” Endara asked.
“Too short.” Alan smirked.
Endara shook her head. “I’ll talk to her.”
“Was Anna trying to spy?” Cassandra blew a raspberry at the door.
Alan nodded as he pulled his chair over to Cassandra and held out an envelope. “This is a DNA test, using your old samples the government had. When I found out what happened to you I had a ton of tests put through so we could get answers.”
“Like what?” Cassandra asked.
“Bio-parents.” Cxaltho hissed.
“Yes.” Alan nodded, “The hope was to find answers, possibly DNA donations to fix this.”
“They’re gone, aren’t they?” Cassandra nodded, no emotions were betrayed, “I figured I was either dropped off and forgotten or they were gone.”
Alan’s face fell. “I wish it were that simple.” He moved forward and held her hands as Endara stooped and held her shoulder.
“Are they bad guys?” Cassandra asked, “I won’t mind fighting them.”
“Cassie.” Alan sighed, “There’s no easy way to say this. Remember the lady in the hospital, the one you identified as a GLOBAL person.”
Cassandra blinked, “No.” She whispered. Then paused and a moment later a scream echoed and tore through the halls of the Quain home.
Bubbles was already at the door and had it opened as Anna and Agatha rushed to the door. Danny came through from the ceiling.
“What was that?” Agatha asked.
“What’s wrong?” Anna looked around.
Anna moved to hug Cassandra but Cxaltho reared up with his fangs bared, a distant look in his ophidian eyes. Anna cautiously moved forward and Cxaltho slowly calmed as Anna hugged her sister.
“She’s my mother?!” Cassandra yelled, then shook her head. “No.” She pulled her legs to her body.
“Endara is your mom.” Anna said.
“That bitch!” Cxaltho roared. “From the hospital. She...” He snorted in rage. “How do humans do this to each other?!” He flailed and shook and suddenly he was across the room, hanging on the leaves of a plant. “I flew?”
Cassandra paused for a moment and stared, then quickly checked her own back. “No tail...”
“Do I have a rattle?” Cxaltho asked excitedly, but was disappointed when his tail was normal. “Aww, I’ll work on it...” He then slowly slithered to Cassandra and reattached to the base of her back.
“Well that was something.” Agatha said, “Who is the bio-mom?”
“Felsh.” Cassandra growled.
“The doctor you recognized?” Danny blinked, “Man that is...” He shook his head.
“It doesn’t get better.” Alan sighed.
“What could be worse?” Stephen asked, “Felsh is a monster.”
Alan handed him the report. Stephen read through, paused and stood up to leave. Moments later a scream was heard outside.
“Wow.” Anna blinked.
“What else?” Cassandra almost shrieked.
“Do you know how Anna explained Psi-Ko to you?” Alan asked.
Cassandra nodded.
“She’s your sister.” Alan said flatly.
Cassandra paused again, so did Cxaltho as they conversed in their head.
“Pops, that don’t add up.” Cxaltho said.
“As near as we can tell, Felsh is far older than we can actually establish.” Alan explained.
Stephen walked back in and sat down next to Cassandra. “I’m sorry. That was devastating news no doubt.”
“I was more confused by that part.” Cassandra admitted, then looked back at Alan. “And bio-papa?”
Alan snickered, “He’s in Hero Fight. I’ve met the man, he likely doesn’t know you even exist. Once this is over if you want I can see if he would be interested in getting to know you. You deserve at least that much from him.”
“I’ll have to think about that one.” Cassandra huffed, then looked around at her siblings. “Thank you for coming to help me.”
Danny gave a thumbs up, Agatha and Anna simply hugged her.
“We’re family.” Stephen smiled, “Did you think they wouldn’t find out?”
“No, I just wanted to make sure that if it was good I got to tell everyone.” Cassandra giggled. “Or you know explode like I did with some amount of privacy.”
Daniel stood and joined his family. “Kid, this is a big house and a lot of people live here. Most of us respect privacy.”
Anna giggled, “I thought it was school related.”
“Privacy.” Alan gave Anna a sharp glare.
“I’m sorry.” Anna said to Cassandra.
“Try harder next time.” Cassandra laughed, “He got you by your footsteps.”
Anna growled, “I thought I was quiet enough!”
“Stop spying on family honey.” Endara sighed.
“Next time ask me.” Danny winked.
“Danny.” Endara sighed.
“Or I could use Hong Long...” Anna nodded.
“I don’t think she’s getting it.” Cassandra sighed.
“I thought I was a slow learner.” Alan sighed and stood up, then shook Bubbles’ hand.
“I’ll see what I can get in regards to Lucian’s location.” Bubbles said.
“His name is Lucian?” Cxaltho snickered. Cassandra quietly joined him.
Alan sighed, “I’ll probably have better luck, but go ahead.”
Then the Quain family settled into the den for a night of watching a few movies.
---B)(S)(F---*
In her hidden office the woman formerly known as Dr. Ingrid Felsh was shredding documents. Most were her legitimate work she wanted no one else to have. It was sad too, she almost had The Draining cracked, but only she would be allowed to reveal her discoveries.
Once she was done she pulled out a few GLOBAL files. Most were failed experiments. Her eldest living daughter was among them. The woman had been temperamental and violent from a young age, narcissistic to boot and with no sense of control. It was no wonder she would never get past her current capabilities.
Then she pulled out one of a few other files. Her youngest daughter, Cassandra. She was a success. Passionate and driven, though Ingrid thought she was a bit misguided. The world would never accept her, both literally or figuratively. She was certain her child would return to her, or perish. Either way, she had escaped on her own merits, developed her powers and proven a sociable creature. Ingrid was very pleased with her youngest.
What confused Ingrid was how the girl had been lost. She had been sent to a GLOBAL care center for the children of all the group’s employees. Then she vanished one day, someone had left a door open and she wandered out, then appeared in the Dross City foster care. Ingrid knew she couldn’t take the child back after that, there would be too many questions. She had tried to make sure the girl was watched but foster families were notoriously unreliable in Dross City. Still the girl had ended up in good care, and much like a cuckoo Ingrid was sure her precious child would outshine any of the Quain children.
When she was done organizing her items she grabbed a shopping bag with some hair dye and got ready to embrace life as a blonde. She was going to try hiding her genius this time, feeding a good doctor simple ideas and see how they used them. Then if that worked out she could ride that to late stage recognition. She just wasn’t looking forward to getting older again. That was always a pain.
/////
The First Story
Previous Part! //// [Next Part!]()
Arc 1 - Black Sheep Family - Arc 1, First Chapter
Arc 2 - Paradigm Shift - Arc 2, First Chapter
Arc 3 - Gravitas Rising Arc 3, First Chapter
Arc 4 - The Director’s Chair Arc 4, First Chapter
Spotify
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Credit where Credit is due:
Kyton & Cassandra Quain are © u/TwistedMind596
Obsidian is © u/Ultimalice
Ixton the Blade of the Wielder is © My friend Forged of Souls who does not use reddit
Furnace is © my friend Matt who does not use reddit
Cedric Stein Meissner aka Tesseract is © my friend James, who does not use reddit.
All other characters and Dross City are © u/TheSmogMonsterZX
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Smoggy: So way back when I first introduced GLOBAL someone asked if Felsh was Cassandra's mom...
Perfection: She wasn't... Then.
Smoggy: u/TwistedMind596 and I talked a bit about Cassandra's biological parents. Some gears turned and plots were altered.
Wraith: I'm actually impressed you strung that together.
Perfection: And if you're curious, yes it is for the better that Cassie wasn't raised by her. As Psi-Ko clearly demonstrates.
Smoggy: Psi-Ko was also a ward of the state, but she was dropped off on purpose.
Perfection: You know in The Bee Movie when the guy learns his wife is using humanity on behalf of the bees and his brain just stops for a second? Yeah that me right now.

I saw your wedding horror story videos and have one of my own I think a lot of people would get a kick out of. Yes, this entire story is 100% true with no real hyperbole, tall tales, etc. This all actually happened and I have witnesses that will attest to this if asked. I'd been with my husband for about 2 years, engaged for 1, when we found out I was pregnant. Obvi, we decided to rush the wedding after we had a talk about the surprise and what we wanted to do. Flash forward a little and my original Maid of Honor and I had a falling out because the last time we had been together and gone to the church the wedding was being hosted, she had gotten disrespectful with the elders and asked questions she thought were funny, but were really just rude. The swearing really didn't help matters either. I asked her if she would be able to try to be more respectful of my beliefs and be gentle with the others that would be there. This lead to a fight and the beginning of the end of a 7 year relationship (when we tried to rekindle our relationship later, she said she hoped my son would get unalived by a cop because he is white and no one cared about it. Thank God I cut ties when I did). This was also the beginning of a new friendship between myself and the best man's fiancé (we are still bffs today) when I asked her to take over. Crisis 1 averted. For the sake of setting some scenes, I worked at a hotel in a podunk town, right off the highway and met with a make up artist that came in for a makeup party gig with housekeeping. We talked and she agreed to work with me and MOH for the wedding. Here comes the beginning of everything going down hill, on fire, in a rickety buggy. The night before, after the rehearsal dinner, at 11pm the makeup artist gets ahold of me saying she has to cancel because her husband got into a water bottle accident (water bottle is oilfield speak for the giant water trucks they have on site) and was in the hospital. We understood and told her to do what she has to, we can handle things ourselves. Meanwhile, my husband's uncle was cooking the pig for the reception dinner as it doubled as his wedding gift to us (which we are extremely thankful for btw). It caught on fire. In the parking lot. Of the hotel I was working at, and everyone was staying. Luckily he was able to save it, but I got to hear about it when I got back to work. They printed the security camera image and everything. It was great. Now it's the morning of the wedding. I realize that I am missing makeup that I need and, living in a map dot myself, needed to drive half an hour away in order to get what we were missing. Thank God for my dad needing to go out that way anyway. He got us breakfast, took us to the store, and we grabbed what we needed and started to take off. The shirt I was wearing, without my knowledge, had popped the button right over my boobs showing God and everybody my goodies and I hadn't realized it until we were on our way to grab the cupcakes and "smash" cake (it was a cheap alternative to a traditional wedding cake and actually save us a TON of money for the "event"[ note for brides on a budget, say event and not wedding to save some extra $]). We get home and nerves take over, coupled with my already awful morning sickness, leading me to be stuck in the bathroom for a while. I finish up, brush my teeth again for the third time and decide to start getting things around and just get ready at the church. I made a Playlist in order, and wrote down the order for my brother to be able to just press play and not worry about ads or anything. I literally went as far as saying song a-c for while you wait, d for the procession, and e for my enterance with the sing titles. This will become a problem apparently. As MOH and I are getting ready, I start to freak out because the makeup I got is streaky and I can barely get anything to blend how I want it to, so my mom had my dad grab her makeup and bring it down and takes over for us. Her friend, who offered to do pictures for us along with my SIL (and I paid them both for) told my mom to give me fake lashes because it'd make the pictures prettier. I told them I wasn't comfortable with it because it was new and I didn't know if I could handle the glue smell and the glue she uses hurts my eyes as is. Mom basically said to hush and let her do it. One thing lead to another, and my mother glued my eyes shut. 10 minutes before my wedding was due to start. Even though I had asked for no fake lashes. Hormones kicked in and I started to cry. After about 5 minutes, we are able to get my eyes opened, but still had bits of glue in my lashes that ended up scratching my eyes throughout the wedding. My dad came down asking what was taking so long, and my mom snapped at him and told him to go upstairs and wait a second, which made me start to cry again. I calm myself down rather quickly and get dressed (the dress ended up being too big because the morning sickness had made me lose weight without me realizing it) and we all head upstairs only about 5 minutes or so late. At the doors, I can hear the music playing. It's the wrong songs. My dad, in his usual joking fashion, said "It's not too late to run". I told him I just wanted to get this dumpster fire over with. Speed up a bit and during the ceremony, the pastor skipped over the marriage cross ceremony (where the newly weds put a cross together as a symbol of our faith in our marriage), and called my husband Durk. Miraculously, we make it through with those being the only things amiss, besides my husband being tired and looking grumpy the entire time (I guess he and Best Man stayed up half the night BSing with his uncle and having a couple drinks). Now the ceremony is over and we have people heading to the hotel to set up for the reception. Pictures were a cluster, there was yelling, I started to cry again because I just wanted things to be done quickly, and my mom wanted her photographer she had come in take pictures that she promised to pay for. We still haven't gotten any of them from said photographer. After my parents were done with their part, they took off for the hotel and someone accidentally set some of the mac and cheese on fire, setting off the smoke alarms for the hotel. Can't say I cared too much because it wasn't the recipe I'd given my mom to make that she asked me to send her because I'm a picky eater as it is with my "touch of the tism" coupled with pregnancy making things worse. Eventually we get there, and things had gotten flip-flopped as to what was going on and when because Mom wanted it to go her way, MIL was trying to stick to the schedule I had made... It was great. Thank God for hubby's "Aunti B" that was able to take charge and be my voice and fix things where as my mom looked at MIL and Aunti B and said "I don't care, she's you're problem now". Honestly wasn't surprising from my mom. So we wait for every one to file in to the room we were supposed to start in, and I have to teach my brother how to press play on my phone for music. 🤦🏽‍♀️ Awesome. We get the Mother Son dance and the Father Daughter dance, and by then my husband was done with everything so we just had the food blessed and proceeded to the dining area. No newlywed dance for us. Still pretty upset about that. At this point I'm too upset to eat, but manage to nibble here and there. As things start to come down, Mom's friend (yes eyelash woman) comes up to me upset because I didn't warn her that the hotel had a pool so she didn't bring suits for her girls to swim in while everyone else was prepared. I informed her (and showed her) that on the event page for the wedding I wrote where everything was taking place and that the hotel had a pool they were free to enjoy. The same information everyone else had used before coming. Embarrassed, she left and just had her daughters swim in their underwear and diaper. At that point, everyone had eaten, we did the cake cutting, and a lot of the ceremonial stuff was over so I started cleaning up (condition of being able to use the hotel for free for the event as an employee) and everyone started pitching in. The ceremony was at 3pm, reception around 4pm. We had everything cleaned up by 6:30pm, 7pm at the latest. Everyone that was staying in the hotel hung out for a bit, and my MIL and SIL (bless them) attempted to get the rest of the eyelash glue out of my eyes and managed to get a bit out with only one piece left before I had to stop. I got chewed out about how things went and how bad my parents looked with everything by my mom (OFC) and I decided to say screw it, packed up, and left for home with hubby, MOH and BM. If you thought that was the end of it, you're mistaken. The next day, after my amazing MOH got the last of the glue out of my eye, we saw everyone off, and we were to take off for our honeymoon (a Civil War town because there was quite a bit of fun there when I went, and Hubby hadn't been, and it was cheap). I convinced my dad to let us take the SUV because I had a bad feeling about my car. Thank God I did because despite the "new" engine, the car died on the highway not even 10 miles from home when I took it to work later on. Anyway, we make it to the hotel that had amazing reviews online to discover stains everywhere on the bed and stuff (ew), the pool was atrocious, and the water in the shower smelled like chemicals and started to burn my husband's face. So we checked out saying we had an emergency back home and had to leave. I called a nearby hotel in my brand I worked for and managed to get a room that is usually about $170 a night or so, for $60 a night. Thank God for them. The rest of the honeymoon went on well with almost no morning sickness, and no other issues. The only bout of morning sickness (which reiterates my desire to know why it's called that when it can happen anytime of day) happened when my husband was being sweet and shared some of his food with me he knew I generally liked. The baby decided "I don't like that", sending me to hug a trash can a little while after lunch. In the middle of the section of (Civil War Town). By the (civil war history specific) house. In the middle of afternoon traffic. The family ahead of us glared and started saying something about drunk people in the day 🙄 and my husband started laughing at the irony of it all. He took off to find me napkins to clean up and a good Samaritan stopped to ask if I was ok. I told him "I'm fine, just pregnant" and they chuckled then left. I managed to get cleaned up when hubby came back with the napkins and we continued on our way. For those wondering, we now have 2 healthy boys, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and have been happily married for 5 years in August. We still laugh about my eyes getting glued shut on our anniversary with our friends and how my wedding was a prime example of Murphy's Law. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong.

So, I'm planning on doing a full Solo Honor Mode with only vanilla Shadowheart. That means no stat changes, no Cantrip changes, no Respec, and no Multiclassing. Pure Trickery. So I was trying to figure out how I could possibly "break" her when she's what's typically considered the least favorite Cleric class and her only offensive stat is Wisdom, which doesn't give her much offensive viability until level 5. After a bit of searching, I came to the conclusion that it's possible to get at least 18 Spell Save DC by level 4, which is huge, and the results were hilarious. Mind you this was all a test run in Tactician mode, which allowed for save scumming to retry things when necessary.
This is how I did it:

1. I didn't fight shit. I did the tutorial, killed the Intellect Devourers off the ship, did the one mandatory Goblin fight outside of the Grove, and that's it. From there, I used Disguise Self to turn into a Drow and proceeded to run all the way through the Blighted Village, to the Goblin Camp, to the Underdark, and to the Grymforge.
2. In the Myconid Colony, you can buy Melf's First Staff from Blurg for a pretty cheap price. That's +1 to Spell Save DC and it's a bit stronger than her Mace, so an overall improvement. (Bulette can't stop you if you're Sanctuaried.)
3. Still disguised as a Drow, I had to pass a couple of Charisma checks, which is ungodly difficult with Shadowheart's 8 Charisma, to get past the Duergar by the beach and had to Sneak in order to steal the ship to the Grymforge.
4. On the ship, I had to pass yet another Charisma check to lie and say the owner of the ship died to the Myconids. That got me to the Grymforge without conflict.
5. All of this wandering experience (plus some free experience from just chatting with NPC's at the Grove) got me to level 4. I put two points into Wisdom to get to 19. That's another +1 to Spell Save DC.
6. Using an Elixir of Hill Giant Strength, I was able to jump my way across to the bridge where the item "The Protecty Sparkswall" is in a chest. Another +1 to Spell Save DC. That brings us to 17 DC, but getting that last single point required some serious planning and strategy.
   
7. I ran back to the Goblin Camp and snuck into the room with all the Smokepowder barrels. I could only carry 6 with the equipment I had, but that turned out to be the perfect number.
   
8. I ran to Auntie Ethel's place in the swamp. From there, I snuck in through the back door and placed 3 barrels right behind her and proceeded to talk to her as if I intended to save Mayrina. She hit me pretty hard but only did about half my HP, and from there I was free to gain some distance and blow the barrels up. This brought her down to the perfect amount of health to retreat into her lair.
   
9. I snuck past the enemies in the tunnel and had to do some quicksaving and planning to get the other three barrels as close to her as possible without being spotted. Once there, battle began again. She summoned some enemies, I gained some distance, blew up the barrels and used Sanctuary to survive until the next turn where she surrendered. She gave me her hair in exchange for Mayrina who I never intended on rescuing in the first place, and we were able to get to 20 Wisdom and 18 Spell Save DC at level 4.
   

So what can I do with this..? Not.. much, but there's something. The only real abilities to make use of this were Command and Hold Person, but Command can be surprisingly powerful, because you know what's even weaker than Shadowheart hitting enemies with a Staff? Enemies hitting Shadowheart with no weapons.
Command and Hold Person now had an 80% chance of success on most enemies, which means a high chance of Disarming enemies at the start of the battle, and, neutral NPC's like Minthara don't even become hostile after dropping their weapon. Only mildly annoyed. They walk over to you like yo wtf dude and then go back to pick up their weapon. So I could then enter turn-based while their backs were turned, take their weapon, cast Hold Person, and begin combat. With the Elixir of Hill Giant Strength, the crit damage even with a basic Staff was still pretty nasty, and enemies have a rough time passing the check to escape.
Never thought I'd see the day Shart soloed Minthara.
Edit: I forgot to mention when I posted this that I actually ran all the way to Moonrise Towers from the Grymforge after goofing around a bit and and got the Fistbreaker Helm from Lann Tarv. This is how I achieved 18. I actually only had 17 for Minthara. Sorry for the bad math and bad memory. Shadowheart's mostly immune to the curse so it wasn't tough at all.
Even when she did escape, her punches hardly did damage, and I'm a Cleric. Heals for days.
This also worked on the Githyanki patrol near the Mountain Pass entrance. With 18 DC, Voss still had a 70% chance to pass his Save, which was nuts to me, but all the others still only had a 20% chance. Weaponless Githyanki are far less terrifying. I simply disarmed them all from a distance while running away to keep them separated (had a couple fails, won't lie) but eventually managed to kill them all with only Shadowheart.
That's as far as I got before general fatigue took over, but I'm thinking of going Dual-Wielder Shadowheart to have as much Spell Save DC as literally possible for this run.
If you have any ideas of how to make this better, please let me know.

For years I have gone through unknowingly narcissistic abuse by my parents and my sister and now her children. I had no idea what it was or what they were. I always thought it was me. I was made to believe that and I truly did until recently. I come from a family that is extremely sick and full of narcissism. Just when you think they can't stoop any lower they do. It's unsettling to admit to yourself that you were never loved or cared for but I never was and I never will be. Being the scapegoat and the black sheep has built a pillar of strength out of me while they were trying to destroy me. For years I tried to rescue people and build them up that don't want to get better that don't want to be happy they choose to be sick and they choose to be miserable. Not my fault.
Today I'm doing something different and that is they have started to make false police reports against me when they don't like where the conversation is going. This is terrifying and it's a way to try to control me and to keeping the horrible secret quiet. I'm not going to keep it quiet anymore. I'm waiting for the police officer that had to waste his time yesterday to call me and actually tell someone of authority what the real deal is and why they're doing this. I hope he believes me because there's six of them and one of me and they will even lie about abuse they've inflicted on each other. I'm shaking head to toe right now. I'm pure white and my heart is pounding because I'm going to make their biggest nightmare happen. Their mistake was making false police reports that is an all-time low. When you waste law enforcements time and are completely lying on somebody? A huge problem because there are real emergencies happening elsewhere that those police officers should be at. Not at my parents house because they don't like the way a conversation is going and they've lost control of me and so they try to gain it back by calling the police on their own blood that has done nothing to warrant this. I can't be quiet about it anymore I have to say something.
My sister married a man when I was 14 years old and she was 19 and he was 20. When I was 15 years old I was over at my sister's house with my two friends and I was helping with the babies well my sister was at work and my two nieces who were three and one at that time. My brother-in-law that night tried to rape me in the bathroom. It was horrifying. I was so terrified that I became stronger than him because I was praying in my mind God help me God help me. God turned me into a thousand pound statue because he couldn't push me down he couldn't do anything to me he couldn't pick me up and I remember thinking he's not trying very hard. He reared his ugly head back and looked straight into my eyes and said oh my God what are you? He proceeded to bang his own head through his bathroom wall and it came out in the hallway and my two friends came and rescued me. After that? I did the right things I told my parents and no one ever called the police. Not my mom dad or sister.
My parents not once asked me if I was okay said they were sorry that happened to me if there was anything that they could do. They completely ignored me and would guilt me when my sister's family moved clear out to Washington when they would hear songs come on the radio like wind beneath My wings are forever Young they would cry for those grandkids but not a tear for me not a word of comfort. They closed their door when I would have night terrors in the middle of the night.
The way they behave around other people including my sister including her kids now is not who they really are. They groom people and I have figured out that they groom people just like child molesters because their fear is equal the same and that is being discovered and exposed. What I didn't realize was in my situation the narcissist support the child molester. My family has covered up sex crimes against children since 1988. My nieces could have been saved because they were three and one at the time and my ex brother-in-law's preference was 10 to 17. He raped his own sister. He came on to every single one of his brother's girlfriends and wives and every single one of his sons girlfriends to the point where they would say I'm not comfortable coming to your house anymore your dad is too touchy-feely. His own daughters never brought any girlfriends any friends to their house and I know exactly why. He tried to rape me in 1989. Recently my sister slept with my ex-husband and my parents took them out as a couple fishing and to Rockies games behind my back. My sister says the reason I did that with Jimmy is because you seduced my . My sister says the reason I did that with Jimmy was because you seduced and antagonized bart. Recently said this! She slept with my ex-husband and blamed me for it. She rolled on me like a cheap dime store s*** and told me she wouldn't care if I dated one of her ex-husbands. I said yes you would and you should! I would never do that! That's how sick these people are.
There were numerous neighbor girls that were molested and I knew this because my sister would call my mom and b**** about it but yet none of them did anything. I knew I couldn't do anything even when I reached the age of 18 because I would have all of them that would lie and cover it up. When nieces and nephew found out what happened to me because my sister while going through a divorce happily tells her own children what happened to me and gives them that shame to wea. That's the kind of mom she is no conscience and these kids start to call me saying auntie Mimi why didn't you come and get us out of there when our dad did that to you? I was stunned and I stuttered. They had a great question and it was important I answer that carefully but it took me back I had to sit down or I would have fallen down.. And then I remembered,
I was 15. I said this and I said now I have two parents downstairs that can answer this question but I want to tell you it's going to be the dog ate my homework excuses and it's going to hurt you bad. Would you like to know before you talk to them what they're going to say or would you like to have them tell you themselves and not have a warning and be shattered? My oldest niece said no you tell me first. I did. I said they're going to tell you this that they didn't want you to go into a foster home all of you guys because then they wouldn't know who you were with. My response to that has always been well how worse going to get for them and they deserved a chance! You will also hear that if they have the boss to say it they didn't want to take custody of you because they had raised all of their kids me and my sister and didn't want to race three more. Nobody said that they had to raise anybody and your Aunt Trish and Uncle Kurt would have been happy to take you guys in. What I'm saying is there is no good explanation that they're going to offer you because either way you cut it it's wrong and I'm so sorry.
I went downstairs with the phone in my hand and I handed the phone to my parents with a smirk of his Cheshire cat on my face because then I was 41 years old. I thought chickens have come home to roost and I want to see the looks on their faces answering this when there is no answer good enough to cover up sex crimes on children.
I'm 52 now and I've kept this secret hidden out of fear of what they would do to me and fear of not being believed but today is the day. I'm waiting for a call back from a police officer whose time they wasted and I'm starting to lose my nerve. They need to know why they are calling them wasting their time I need to take that chance and actually finally tell someone of authority. Tell somebody at all..
If you've had narcissistic parents/family members, you've been abused. I'm old enough now to take that chance and and trust somebody. I'm ready. I'm shaking and I'm going back and forth should I answer the phone or shouldn't I because it's been a couple of hours now. I have to.
These people that go by sister mother and father knowingly and willingly kept a child molester in business it happened to their own 15-year-old daughter and that was me. They did nothing but what they did do? They brought me back around him after he did that to me as a minor. This was such a serious situation my teacher wanted to take custody of me because he knew what they were doing was horrendous. My mother was a school bus driver for the same district I went to school at. When you're a bus driver or you work around children you sign a paper that says you solely swear that if you suspect child abuse there I was for everyone to see and nobody saw. Is it my fault because
It's sickening what I come from. I jokingly say this. I want a blood transfusion because I don't want to share anything with these people. They have turnips in their chests that I've been desperately trying to get blood from. You can't get blood out of turnips. I don't know what's more crazy, them being horrendous or me for trying to get blood out of these things because they're not human. Normal human beings don't go around deliberately intentionally willingly and knowingly plotting and planning to take other people down no matter what the cost and they're happy the closer you are to them the happier they are. Preferably their next of kin.
Pat Benatar was right hell is for children. My mom and dad and my sister belong in a prison cell right next door to Maxwell that sick woman that took underage girls to her boyfriend. She knew what he was. She did it anyway. He committed suicide in prison. Good riddance. My mom my dad and my sister are exactly like her. I am nothing like any of them. They will never change, they never grow, they're still so sickly immature because being the victim is easy. You don't ever have to admit you're wrongs or change who you are and going to 12 step meetings and church and counseling does them zero good. Those are just places where they can again manipulate others taking no accountability and blame everything on everybody else. It's pathetic.
Wish me luck. If there's anybody no matter what your age is and you're reading this and you can relate you're not alone. I also understand what I'm doing is very risky. I've told one of my close friends that if anything happens to me it needs to be investigated. You never know. Be careful everybody I respect all of you. E

Hi everyone, I've been in the process of putting up boundaries with my mother and two sisters. Things have not been SEVERE but they have been rocky for the past year and a half. I would say anytime I have tried to voice my boundaries my family feels the need to belittle me. I have gone no contact with sister A, and in the process of going no-contact with the sister B. She's been texting me every couple of weeks being condescending and taking cheap shots. I have done my best to communicate effectively and respectfully and it's just not being reciprocated. I have been no contact with this sibling for the past few weeks I'd say.
Recently, my mother asked to take my kids for the weekend and I agreed to it. She failed to mention and I think purposefully didn't mention that my kids would be travelling with sister B and that it would be sister B bringing them back home. I was annoyed by this and got over it because we were able to communicate efficiently to get my kids home. However, my one child forgot their jacket in sister B's car and I did not realize until today. So, I texted sister B asking if she had it and if she could leave it in her mailbox and she felt the need to take a cheap shot at me. I am beyond frustrated and exhausted. Every single time, except for the times my sisters needed to save face, they have felt the need to say condescending comments. I am past the point of trying to maintain a healthy relationship with them. I believe that my mother is just as well involved and only plays "ignorance" so she doesn't have to acknowledge their behaviour. She insists that my sisters are not cruel and they love me and only want me to succeed. I think at this point, my mother's comments are bs now and she is on my sisters side. I've been told by my mother that "she needs to sit down with me to talk about my behaviour." I am done. I am emotionally and mentally done with their behaviour.
I had hopes that my children could have a relationship with their aunties and grandmother without my involvement and if I had to be involved there would be a level of civility. Sadly, this is not the case and now I have made the decision to cut ties with my family permanently, and this includes my children's relationships. They are too young to understand the dynamics of these toxic relationships so I understand this will be difficult to process for them. I know that I will be inflicting emotional pain and confusion for my children but I cannot do this anymore. So, if you've read this entirely and have been in a similar position, how did you cut your children's ties with toxic family members. I know the logistics of what to do but what were the outcomes? How did you manage? Did your family retaliate? Did other family members retaliate? How long did the grief last for? How did you manage your feelings and provide clarity for your children?
Meegweetch.

I think sa offmychestPH ni siya pero mas nindor man i-post og bisaya😅
I have this aunt who was born and grew up in the US kay my grand dad's family are americans. So kani na aunt nako nicomment siya sa ako isa ka aunt na naa nasad sa US pero born in PH pero dugay nasad niadto US.
So kato first aunt nako ni comment "How can they [my sister and I] get to travel in Europe yearly daw in business class pajud daw". Dugay na daw nistorya kato auntie nako ana pero naslip ang kato usa nako ka auntie then wala lang daw niya nastorya sa amo kay tingali ma-offend mi.
Tbh, di jud ganahan ako mama sa mga parente sa ako dad sa US kay gamay silag panan-aw sa mga Pinoy diri sa Pinas. Mu-ana gud na ako mama na di siya mangayo ana mga balikbayan box na ginasend nila kay mga old hand me down clothes and mostly cheap chocolates (unbranded).
For background, kani sad mga parente ni Papa diri sa Pinas kay mostly wa juy naabot to put in into correct perscpective - mostly unemployed unya magsige lang pangayo sa mga naa sa US. On the other hand, on my mother's side kay mga well off jud - real estate properties sa mga kalolohan pa jud na time.
Pero I sometimes get the notion na mostly sa mga older Fil-Ams see Pinoys sa PH as poor. When we travelled together with my classmates last year sa Iceland, naa jud reaction kani older FilAms na "You managed to get here in Iceland?" With judgment jud ang tone. Never encountered it natives though.

Welcome back fellow travellers to our second discussion on The Far Away Girl! I hope you’re all enjoying the book and learning a bit about Guyana along the way. Here’s a bit of a recap of this section.
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11 - November: The Hello-goodbye Plant

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Mrs Wong (Aunty Jenny) finds Rita outside her house, playing in a weedy patch with a plant she calls Hello-goodbye. It may be this.
Rita relaxes in Aunty Jenny's quiet presence and is invited back for soursop ice cream. Rita opens up a bit and Aunt Jenny encourages her to renew her friendship with Polly.
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12 - The Scoop

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Jitty and Chandra are still away in St. Lucia and Mildred lets Rita do what she likes. She brings a jar of tadpoles inside, which die. Rita imagines tadpole ghosts swimming through the rooms at night, blaming her for their baby deaths.
Aunty Jenny quietly visits Mildred one evening so that she can contact Jitty at the hotel to see if Rita can stay over at their house. Rita stays there a week and when she chats with her father on the phone, she is happy and talkative. She is disappointed when he says they're staying another week because he has promised her a trip to Kaieteur falls for her birthday. She sees this as yet another broken promise.
Jitty returns and Guyana has put itself on the map after the horrific tragedy of the Jonestown mass suicide.
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While Jitty is busy chasing stories, Rita and Chandra become a bit closer and make some compromises to get along. Jitty knew a family who died in this tragic event and he is deeply affected. He takes more of an interest in politics and gains a promotion, finally feeling that he has made it as a man.
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13 - 1978 The Abyss

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Rita finds comfort in listening to her mother’s favourite songs. Jitty thinks she's settled down and Chandra takes all the credit.
Rita overhears Chandra telling someone that Rita couldn't go to a wedding because she is half caste. Rita asks her father what the term means and she learns about racism.

14 - Ol’ Year's Night

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Rita describes in a diary entry Chandra's hellish night of labour. Luisa is born at home, and Rita rejoices that Chandra doesn't have the boy she desired.
For Rita it's love at first sight - she feels overwhelming reverence and protectiveness towards Luisa. By contrast, Chandra doesn't show much interest at all.

15 - Born a Star

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Rita manages the baby better than Chandra, who cannot cope with crying or mess. She chats to her sister, explaining how she was the one who named her because they had only prepared a boy's name.
Luisa has a calming influence on Rita and all is going well, but Rita senses that Chandra is scheming.

16 - The Brat

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Rita overhears Chandra referring to her as “the brat”. She indicates that she would like to move to Canada, implying that Rita would be left behind. The problem is not with her behaviour, it's because of her frizzy hair; it gives her away as not being Indian.
When Chandra buys Rita a wig, Jitty gets angry and orders her to return it, saying that she has insulted his daughter.

17 - Naughty Words

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Chandra welcomes new Indian neighbours. Polly and Rita invite the new kids over to play but the older girl says they're not allowed because Rita is a bastard.
When Rita asks her father about this new word, he is forced to admit that he and her mother were not married.

18 - Jitty 1970

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We travel back in time to Jitty's youth. He meets Cassie at a party and keeps her in mind as a last option if he fails to get one of the prettier girls. When he misses out, he asks her to dance. At least she has large breasts, so that's something.
Cassie is Putagee, which is Guyanese of Portuguese descent. Her father is half Guyanese, half black, and her mother is full Amerindian. Her parents are farmers and she stays with family in the city to go to school.
Cassie likes Jitty's long hair and free and easy ways, and he finds her fresh and undemanding.

19 - Jitty 1970-71

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Jitty sees Cassie as a project because she's such a good girl. He knows to take it slowly, and takes her on lots of dates.
They go to a parking spot at the Sea wall, he kisses her, which she likes, and offers her a joint, which she refuses.
He takes many photos of her, but his camera is stolen.
They have protected sex, and she feels comforted + reassured.

20 - Cassie 1971

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Cassie blossoms and feels special, although she knows Jitty can't be trusted. He never says “I love you” in those words.
Cassie lets her studies slide and her guardians become concerned. Her father arrives to find her changed; less obedient, however Jitty wins him over with his charm and flaunts their lovely house to this poor farming man. He promises that he only has honourable intentions towards Cassie.
When Cassie discovers that she is pregnant, Jitty reacts badly and wants her to have an abortion. She sees the baby as merely a small delay to her becoming a doctor, and demands that he marry her. She stands up to him and threatens to tell his Grandma - he is terrified.

21 - Jitty

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Jitty lives with his Granma, having the run of the downstairs part of the house, with her being confined to upstairs. They get together often for a chat and a rum swizzle.
Jitty's grandmother likes following the British Royal Family, and believes that things were better under colonial rule. She also has fixed ideas about who Jitty will marry and holds great hopes for him; he is the last of the great Maraj line.
So it is with great trepidation that he goes to tell her the news about the pregnancy. Her initial reaction is that the pregnancy must be terminated, and because she is not Indian, she calls Cassie cheap. There is no way he is marrying a black girl.

Chapter 22

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Granma changes her will so that Jitty, who was going to inherit everything, will get absolutely nothing if he marries Cassie. Originally she had a selection of three girls who she would permit him to marry, but she reluctantly changed that to only stipulate that the girl be at least half Indian.
Jitty rises up against her insults against Cassie and feels protective of her. He realises that he must step up to be a father, and figures out a way he can have his cake and eat it too. He realises that a common law marriage rather than a church ceremony will get around that problem, but doesn't tell Cassie about this small detail.
When school finds out about Cassie's pregnancy, she is forced to leave.
Jitty is torn between wanting to stand up against his grandmother and marry Cassie without the inheritance, and his friends who think she's ruining his life and she should have an abortion. The friends win, he sends Cassie off home to her parents who are disappointed yet understanding, with her believing that he will marry her. He says goodbye to her at the boat, not knowing that this was the last time he would see her.
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See you all next week for a chat and maybe a rum swizzle for our next section which is Chapters 23 through 33!