This week when I went for my first ultrasound at 8 weeks, my baby was measuring 6 weeks 1 day. The doctor saw a yolk sac and a fetal pole, but no heartbeat. A couple days before my scan I started with very very light spotting, only when I wipe and not every time. Doctor wasn’t too concerned with the spotting, but we were confused on the size of the baby since I took letrozole to get pregnant and knew when I ovulated. When the baby was measuring 2 weeks behind, she said it wasn’t necessarily anything bad so she tested my HCG twice over 48 hours to see if it was still rising. My first HCG was 21,525. My next one was 18,753. My NP told me this was a sign I was going to miscarry. Is this technically a missed miscarriage? She’s calling me tomorrow with more information on what to expect. We are absolutely devastated. This was our first pregnancy after 2 years of trying. Life is just so unfair. I’m just anxious about how this is going to go and how long it is going to take. I’m still slightly spotting, but no other signs of the miscarriage happening yet.

I've recently completed my third year of computer engineering at UofT, and I wanted to share my thoughts on the courses I've taken. I hope this will be beneficial to incoming first, second, and third-year engineering students. My area of depth is 6 (Software) and my areas of breadth are 4 (Control) and 5 (Computer hardware/networks).
Difficulty: How hard it was to comprehend course material and/or complete practice problems accurately. Keep in mind that difficulty is subjective but I tried to eliminate personal bias and be as objective as possible.
Workload: The amount of work to complete outside of lectures (labs, assignments, homework, studying for tests/exams).
All engineers take the exact same courses in their first year first semester and similar ones in second semester. I took these courses in 2021 during covid so some information might be outdated.
First Year Semester 1:
APS100 Orientation to Engineering:
Difficulty: 1/10 Workload: 3/10 Course Average: N/A
There is no technical material in this course. All coursework consists of Ethics analysis, creating a schedule for time management, creating your resume, and discussion board participation. During tutorials, the TA typically asks behavioral questions to the class and covers slides pertaining to engineering principles, the learning environment, test readiness, and related topics.
APS110 Engineering Chemistry and Materials Science
Difficulty: 6/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: B
This course blends elements of chemistry, physics, and mathematics, requiring lots of formulas and memorization. The assignments and online quizzes were moderately difficult. Not sure if he’s still teaching but Scott Ramsay was a really good professor. Really enjoyed watching his video demonstrations.
APS111 Engineering Strategies and Practices I
Difficulty: 3/10 Workload: 6/10 (Variable) Course Average: B
Students are organized into groups of 5-6 and are assigned the task of developing a solution for a client, following the engineering design process. Success in this course heavily relies on your team. Throughout the semester, there are several milestones where you need to submit large reports with your team, making it crucial to have capable teammates. Many teams resorted to last-minute cramming the night before each milestone (not a good idea). Additionally, there are two peer reviews, so make sure you contribute to avoid being perceived as an unproductive member. In most cases, you don’t need to worry about this though. You’d likely all be good friends by that point (and give each other a perfect review).
CIV100 Mechanics
Difficulty: 9/10 Workload: 9/10 Course Average: C+
The consensus among most students in my year was that this was the toughest first year course. It's incredibly calculation heavy, with questions that may appear straightforward in theory but require multiple steps to solve. Even a minor error can screw up your entire calculation process. The assignments are extremely time-consuming, and the quizzes pose significant challenges. I suggest you work in a group for the assignments. Furthermore, both the final exam and midterm were exceptionally difficult.
MAT186 Calculus I
Difficulty: 4/10 Workload: 4/10 Course Average: B
If you’ve taken IB or AP this course will be a breeze. Even without that background, it's still relatively straightforward. Very little on integrals, mostly derivatives, rates of change, and graphs. PCEs and WebWorks were trivial, and the midterm and exam were easy.
MAT188 Linear Algebra
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: B-
The majority of the course revolves around relatively straightforward operations on matrices and vectors. However, it does introduce abstract concepts like higher-order dimensions, which may require some deeper thinking to fully grasp. Webwork assignments were slightly more challenging compared to MAT186's, and completing assignments took a while. Once again, you should work with a partner or as a group. Pay attention in the MATLAB practicals because you’ll be using MATLAB pretty often in future courses.
First Year Semester 2:
APS105 Computer Fundamentals
Difficulty: 6/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: B-
If you’ve taken programming in high school, you will likely find this course very easy (2/10 difficulty). The course covers simple programming syntax, along with basic sorting algorithms, without delving into more advanced concepts beyond linked lists and binary trees. I think that this was one of the more enjoyable courses of first year.
APS112 Engineering Strategies and Practices II
Difficulty: 5/10 Workload: 7/10 (Variable) Course Average: B+
This course is essentially a continuation of APS111, but with the added component of being assigned an actual client with a real-world problem statement. Each group works with a unique client, and at the end of the term, you present your final report directly to them, along with your supervisors. As with APS111, the quality of your team plays a crucial role in your success. Another thing to note is that unlike APS111, there were multiple individual assignments to complete on top of your team reports.
ECE110 Electrical Fundamentals
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 6/10 Course Average: C+
Definitely one of the harder first year courses. This course marks your introduction to circuits. Topics covered include capacitors, Ampere's law, Ohm's law, Kirchhoff's laws, AC/DC circuits, magnetism, Thevenin and Norton equivalents, and more. The material is extensive and requires thorough understanding, as many future courses will build upon its concepts. Make sure that you understand the content well, given its foundational importance in subsequent courses.
ECE191 Introduction to Electrical and Computer Engineering
Difficulty: 0/10 Workload: 1/10 Course Average: N/A
Seminar course. You just need to show up to the lectures (one per week) and submit a 100-ish word report about what you learned.
MAT187 Calculus II
Difficulty: 6/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: C+
The workload in this course is comparable to Calc I, but the content is more challenging (obviously). It delves deeper into integrals and introduces concepts like ordinary differential equations and polar coordinates. But again, you’ll manage just fine if you did decently in Calc 1, and especially if you’ve taken AP math or IB HL math.
MIE100 Dynamics
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload 4/10 Course Average: C+
I personally found this to be the most challenging course in first year, but it seems that most people disagree with me. It shares similarities with CIV100, but you’re instead dealing with dynamic systems (moving) rather than static ones (not moving). Some concepts may prove difficult to grasp initially. However, if you focus on memorizing the relevant formulas and understanding when to apply them, you should be okay. Expect an emphasis on physics in this course.
Second year was the worst (for ECE) and a very big step up from first year. If you struggled in first year, you better lock in for second year.
Second Year Semester 1:
ECE201 ECE Seminar Course
Difficulty: 0/10 Workload: 0/10 Course Average: N/A
Another seminar course, except you just need to attend 7/10 lectures to pass. Most students just scan their Tcard at the entrance then leave right after. The lectures are pretty useless except the Magellan one where they show you how to choose courses for 3rd and 4th year.
ECE212 Circuit Analysis
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 8/10 Course Average: B+
This course provides a deeper exploration of circuits, extending beyond circuit solving to include frequency and sinusoidal analysis. Questions tend to be long so careless errors will cost you. Personally, I found the labs challenging, particularly because they required working with oscilloscopes at a higher level than I was used to, and I could not for the life of me figure out how to use that thing.
ECE241 Digital Systems
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 8/10 Course Average: B-
This hardware course focuses on the foundation of hardware. A lot of the content is at the fundamental level so it’s not too hard to comprehend. However, the main challenge lies in learning Verilog, a hardware description language. I hate Verilog. All the labs are done using Verilog, and frustratingly, the course provides no instruction on the language, nor are there many helpful resources available online. This lack of guidance made what should have been straightforward labs much more difficult. Thankfully if you are in CE, you’ll never need to take another course with Verilog again. The midterm was easy but the final was borderline impossible.
ECE244 Programming Fundamentals
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: B-
This course is the sequel to APS105, delving into more advanced concepts like pointers, constructors, polymorphism, and inheritance. Many of these topics may feel familiar if you have prior programming experience, particularly from high school. Consequently, if you're already proficient in programming, as many computer engineering students are, you should be able to navigate through this course well. The labs were generally manageable, although a couple of them were time-consuming.
MAT290 Advanced Engineering Mathematics
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload 8/10 Course Average: B
In this course, you’ll learn a lot of miscellaneous mathematical concepts that will be relevant in future courses. The goal is to establish a strong foundation to facilitate understanding in third and fourth-year courses. There is also a quiz every week. They were terrible from a time management standpoint, but as long as you spent 3-4 hours per week completing the assigned textbook questions, you should be alright since one (out of two) of the questions on the quiz is guaranteed to be an assigned textbook question (at least, that was the case when I took the course).
MAT291 Calculus III
Difficulty: 9/10 Workload 9/10 Course Average: B-
The entire workload comes from studying for those damn weekly quizzes, much like MAT290. Personally, I found it to be one of the most difficult courses I've ever taken. Think of calculus 2, but now everything is in three dimensions, encompassing concepts like surface integrals, flux integrals, and more. Additionally, the course introduces abstract topics that I still struggle to grasp. Balancing the demands of this course alongside everything else was an incredibly stressful experience.
Second Year Semester 2:
ECE216 Signals and Systems
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload:7/10 Course Average: C+
I think everyone hated this course. It was so poorly taught and the midterms felt haphazard and unpredictable. I relied on the power of BS to pass (worked surprisingly). Other than working with many graphs and MATLAB, I don’t remember much about this course because it was so uninteresting.
ECE221 Electric and Magnetic Fields
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: C+
This course serves as an introduction to fields, while also expanding on the principles covered in ECE110. Many concepts build upon intuitive ideas, such as the repulsion of identical charges and attraction of opposite charges, which can make seemingly complex topics less intimidating. There are also many procedures that you need to know to solve specific types of questions. The labs are generally straightforward. You just need to follow the steps on the lab worksheet and answer a few simple questions from the TA.
ECE231 Intro to Electronics
Difficulty: 9/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: C+
This course is basically circuit analysis but significantly harder. It combines everything you've learned about circuits thus far, introducing new topics on top of that foundation. There are so many new concepts to learn and the final pretty much tests you on all of them. I’ve encountered multiple scenarios where I saw two concepts that I thought were completely separate from each other being integrated into a single question on an exam. Also very calculation heavy. Despite my experience in this course, I must admit Khoman Fang was a great professor.
ECE243 Computer Organization
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 6/10 Course Average: B
This course is a direct continuation of ECE241, and surprisingly, I found it a lot more enjoyable than its prerequisite. The focus is on Assembly language programming, which I found to be way more understandable compared to Verilog. Assembly operates at a fundamental level, so you’re technically working with the most basic building blocks in programming. The labs often involved seemingly simple tasks like counting to 10 on a HEX display, but the nature of Assembly meant that achieving this could require hundreds of lines of code. I appreciated these labs as they provided a refreshing change from the usual programming tasks. Final and midterm exams were relatively easy.
ECE297 Software communication and design
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 9/10 (Variable) Course Average: B+
Despite the demanding workload, this course was one of my favorites. The main project involved collaborating in teams of three to develop a geographical information system (similar to Google Maps). Unlike other courses where teams are assigned, here you have the freedom to choose your own teammates. Starting off, your team is given only the OpenStreetMap database, and the APIs, granting you complete control over your project's design, functionality, and optimization. Performance enhancement and pathfinding algorithms were key components of the project. It's crucial for all team members to contribute effectively for success in this course; And trust me, this is not a one or two person project. To succeed in this course, all three members must be doing their share.
Third Year:
They say that third year is the easiest year for ECE, but that depends on what courses you choose. For me, it was only slightly easier than second year but still significantly harder than first year.
APS360 Fundamentals of Deep Learning
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload : 8/10 Course Average: B+
This course felt fundamentally very different compared to the other programming related courses. If you’re unfamiliar with deep learning, the content can be overwhelming but the inner workings behind AI are both fascinating and challenging to grasp. Fortunately, much of the coding in the course revolves around preparing data, setting up AI architectures, and training/testing models, rather than building an AI from scratch. While the labs are manageable, the final project can be very time consuming, particularly as training a single model can require hours or even days. Regarding this aspect, make sure you start early. Both the midterm and final exams were quite difficult.
ECE302 Probability and Applications
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 3/10 Course Average: B-
The first half of this course is very straightforward. Just an introduction to probability. The second half is where the difficulty quickly ramps up. Make sure you don’t underestimate the second half of the course. I made the mistake of assuming the material was easy after performing well on both midterms (midterms were very easy), leading me to neglect the final third of the course so I flunked the final. FYI, our marks were determined solely by the 2 midterms and the final.
ECE344 Operating Systems
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 10/10 Course Average: B
This course had the most difficult and demanding labs I’ve ever seen in my life. They are due every two weeks and some of them took most students more than 15 hours to complete. I’ve seen people staying up all night in the GB computer rooms to finish these labs. One positive aspect of the course if Jon Eyolfson is your professor, is that all lectures are both recorded and live-streamed, allowing attendance in person, online synchronously, or asynchronously. But if you have Ding Yuan, good luck. I heard he is not only bad at teaching, but also makes you program an operating system from scratch. The course content is quite interesting and the Midterm and final exams were fair.
ECE345 Algorithms and Data Structures
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: B+
If you're one of those programming geniuses who have been doing Leetcode since like 3 years old, you’d have likely already learned all course content before you’ve even started the course. You could probably write midterm and final exams without attending any lectures. However, if you're not as experienced, attending every lecture, taking detailed notes, and staying focused is crucial. Personally speaking, some algorithms were incredibly difficult for me to grasp, while others were simple. Assignments typically include both coding and long-answer components, which can be time-consuming, but you can work with a partner.
TEP444 Positive Psychology for Engineers
Difficulty: 1/10 Workload: 3/10 Course Average: A-
This course overall was very enjoyable and a nice refreshing experience from the other technical courses. You go on excursions to various locations with your group and write reports. It's an excellent opportunity to expand your social circle and make new friends. If you aim for an A- grade (80-85), you can breeze through with minimal effort. However, achieving a higher grade (A or A+) would require significantly more work (like 5 times more, no joke), which is not worth the extra effort in my opinion.
CSC343 Introduction to Databases
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 10/10 Course Average: Unreleased
The content of this course is actually pretty interesting and is taught well. But the assignments were excessively time consuming. There are only three in total, but each one demanded such a significant investment of time to the point where I contemplated dropping the course altogether. You do work with a partner (going solo isn’t even an option if you want to complete the assignments) but even so, be prepared to invest 15-30 hours per person, per assignment (they also mark hard). Despite the workload, I do recommend taking this course because knowing SQL can substantially benefit you in the future. Just start the assignments early. On a positive note, the midterm and final were relatively straightforward.
ECE311 Introduction to Control Systems
Difficulty: 10/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: C+
This course didn't come with a heavy workload, consisting only of three labs and two midterms. However, I found the content to be very challenging. It felt like they condensed and combined every concept from every engineering math and physics course into one. Topics ranged from circuits and dynamics to Laplace transforms, matrices, Bode plots, and more. It didn’t help that Prof Scardovi didn’t record any lectures, has messy handwriting, and uses a damn chalkboard instead of modern technology like other profs do. The midterms and final were somewhat lenient compared to the lectures, but this course still ended up being my lowest mark.
ECE361 Computer networks I
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 9/10 Course Average: B
This course requires a lot of memorization compared to other courses. You’ll have to understand calculation processes but also memorize a lot of general knowledge about networks. A problem with this course is that some concepts that show up in tests are not adequately explained in lectures. By far the best way to study is to do past exams. Professor Valaee often recycles questions, sometimes even directly copying past midterms and finals (like he did in my cohort). Unlike other courses, there is no big assignment/lab for this course, but it makes up for it with quantity. There’s a quiz every week, a wireshark lab every 2 weeks, a programming lab every 2 weeks, and a midterm. The programming labs are already difficult by themselves, but this cumulative workload felt very overwhelming.
ECE472 Engineering Economics and Entrepreneurship
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: B+
This is straight up an economics course, no engineering at all. You’ll learn about investments, equity, financing, and related areas. There are 4 quizzes throughout the semester, with quiz 3 (quiz 3 specifically) being by far the hardest (average in the 50s). Since you're able to bring your textbook to the quizzes and exam, my biggest tip is to write past quiz and exam solutions in your textbook, as there's a limited pool of questions, and new questions often resemble some kind of variation of past ones.
ECE421 Introduction to Machine Learning
Difficulty: 9/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: unreleased
While the course content itself may be challenging, surprisingly, the midterm and final exams were pretty easy. There's a slight discorrelation between the lecture material and what appears on the exams, but relying on past exams for preparation should be enough. The course leans heavily on mathematical concepts, much more so than APS360. The assignments were difficult and tedious but I recommend you work with others to complete it.
With that, I've covered my thoughts and tips for all the engineering courses I've completed. Transitioning into your next year in engineering, particularly if you’re transitioning from high school, can feel daunting. However, remember that you're not alone in this experience – many of your peers are facing similar challenges. If you need any more advice or have questions, feel free to reach out to me via DMs!

First day on 5 mg of Letrozole was uneventful. I felt a mild headache and some bloating in the pelvic area, similar to what I feel during ovulation.
Second day on Letrozole gave me headaches, dizziness, nausea and vomitting, diarrhea, and anxiety. It felt like the equivalent in sickness to having the worst flu of my life (but with different symptoms). I had to take sick leave from work cause I couldn’t function.
My REI told me to stop Letrozole, but report back in a few days for bloodwork and monitoring. Hopefully I can still proceed with the IUI as planned. I ovulate on my own, and don’t necessarily care for producing more than one mature egg at a time. I don’t expect the IUI to work, since I have unexplained infertility and according to my REI, IVF is the best option for unexplained infertility. I need to do two IUIs for insurance purposes before IVF is covered.
The only issue fertility testing found was a lower AMH/follicle count for my age (just turned 33). So I technically have DOR, but my AMH is still 1.1 and my last ultrasound showed 16 eggs.
Experiencing such bad symptoms on Letrozole makes me more than a little nervous for the side effects of the medication I’ll have to take for IVF. This whole experience has me thinking that maybe I’d be better off continuing to try without intervention. My husband and I weren’t super keen on having children to begin with, but my struggles with fertility for the last 8 months made me yearn for a child. Now I have my reservations again. I still do want a child, of that I’m certain, but I’m feeling more willing to just wait and let it “happen when it happens” if it does at all, instead of rushing to make it happen. My husband feels the same.
Is there anyone who had a bad experience with Letrozole/clomid and did ok with IVF meds?

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Hi all - I was diagnosed with PCOS after going off birth control and realizing my periods were fairly irregular (30-60 days). I have no other symptoms outside of irregular periods and cysts confirmed via ultrasound and my labs have been fairly normal (normal testosterone, normal insulin, normal glucose). BMI of 21 so I am technically in the “lean PCOS” category and have been athletic/eat healthy most of my life. I also have hypothyroidism and have been taking levothyroxine to keep my TSH levels within the normal range also, my RE says the irregular periods are most likely only caused by PCOS and that the hypothyroidism is a nonfactor since my TS has been consistent.
I am not currently TTC but am planning to soon and have been wanting to understand all potential options to regulate my periods prior to trying. My RE recommended 2000 mg myo-inositol daily and 600mg n-acetylcysteine daily as a potential supplement to regulate periods, but that I would most likely need some sort of ovulation stimulant like clomid/letrozole when we are actually TTC. I wanted to ask the PCOS community if anyone has had success with these supplements? Recommended brands? These seem branded as a diabetes medication - How does this supplement actually support ovulation in women with lean PCOS?
My RE said that I most likely am not ovulating if my cycles are long especially up to 60 days, and that if we did start trying now that there is a potential that I could be ovulating but that the long cycles could mean a reduction in egg quality… more risk of miscarriage etc… I interpreted this as “wait to start trying until your cycles are closer to 30 days”… any ideas on this?

While Trying to dig into Xfinity and Verizon for evidence of wiretaps so I know who I can SUE in court (which is why they tried to set me up), i found how how much xfinity bills our taxpayers.
(Updated: August 2022)
GUIDANCE FOR LAW ENFORCEMENT
Page 5
This is the current and the only official document providing guidance for law enforcement
Public (P)
COSTS
Comcast reserves the right to seek reimbursement for processing and responding to legal process as permitted bylaw. Our policy is to discuss reimbursement with you before we incur any costs (except in emergencies). Stored record disclosures generally do not incur charges unless lengthy. Wiretaps and pen registetrap and trace orders require a substantial commitment of Comcast’s resources.
Pen Registers/Traps/Wiretaps. $1,000 for initial set-up (including the first month of intercept service or any part thereof) and $850 for each subsequent month or any part thereof in which the order or any extensions are active.
Special Technical Support. $500 upon implementation that spans the authorized period of each new or renewed order and is charged at the beginning of each new or renewed authorized period. Stand-alone email collections (header information and/or full content) will be charged in the same manner. Requesting agencies must complete a CALEA worksheet providing detailed billing information and authorized point(s) of contact. Billing will occur either monthly or at 60-day intervals, depending on the volume

Hi, first of all sorry for the long post. I guess I’m just trying to see if anyone has had a similar experience/ask a few questions. I’m a little over 3 months postpartum and never had any issues before giving birth, around 2 weeks postpartum I had what I now know to be an attack which at the time I thought was a heart attack.
After several attacks, being ‘diagnosed’ with acid reflux and several hospital trips (the last one after being in agony for 5 days) they did an ultrasound and blood test and I have lots of stones throughout my gallbladder and had abnormally high liver function due to an infection in my liver and inflamed gallbladder. I had antibiotics and was sent on my way. Then had to go back for a follow up blood test 2 weeks later and my liver markers were still abnormally high so the doctor said I ‘technically’ have liver disease due to my gallbladder.
I am waiting to see a surgeon to talk about my surgery and actually get on the waiting list. That was about 5 weeks ago, I’ve heard nothing since from the doctors and I’m wondering if I should keep pestering them for more blood tests to check my liver function as i know it can damage my live give me an infection every time i have a bad attack, do I actually have liver disease and should they be doing something for it I.e. medications?
All they’ve given me is buscopan and codeine for the pain when I do have an attack. I just want to have it taken out as soon as possible, I’m in the U.K. and the waiting list is 6 months to a year and when I do have an attack the pain is unbearable and the doctors have just told me to be on a low fat diet but have said nothing about what I can eat so I’ve been living of chicken,veg and a few other ‘safe’ foods, so does anyone have any recommendations for safe foods and how much fat, saturates etc is ok I’ve heard it should be 3G or less per 100g. Thankyou!

Nebraska 25 Female Currently 6 weeks but appointment is scheduled for next week when I will be 7 weeks.
My last period was April 6th. I originally tried to take care of this on May 2nd. She did an ultrasound (just on my stomach) and determined that my uterus was "empty" I did a pregnancy test there and she said I was definitely pregnant, but it was probably too soon to see anything. I believe I conceived during ovulation, a condom broke during this time and I completely forgot so I didn't buy a Plan B. So maybe a little less than 7 weeks technically. I have another appointment scheduled for May 21st for a medical abortion, the problem is that on May 23 I have a wedding to attend and then from May 24th- May 27th I have a weekend girls trip planned. Should I try to reschedule? It's very tough for me as I live over 2 hours from my nearest clinic and it is very difficult for me to take time off work. They don't offer weekends and the days they do offer are few and far between. I'm scared that even if I insert the pills vaginally at 6 hours, I'm going to have to go to work and see everyone while going through lots of pain and bleeding. Do you think it's doable? Should I try for a reschedule? I'm very scared after reading many horror stories on this subreddit. Thank you for any advice offered! P.S. Can I take Hydrocodone for the pain? I have a few left from my wisdom teeth removal in January.

so, I know this is asked a lot, and I've read possibly EVERYTHING online, I'm just wondering if anyone has any happy ending stories out there...just to get me through this wait...
i had an ultrasound today (transvaginal) and they found a heartbeat. so beautiful. never had that before. but it was low, 81. the embryo measured 6 weeks, but it should be around 7 weeks. this is based on when i ovulated, not LMP (i was tracking with test strips). so i'm about a week behind. i had another scan a week ago and the embryo as measuring 5 weeks, so it is growing appropriately, apparently, although the OB did say he expected it to have grown a little more, not sure why.
i guess it's POSSIBLE i had a second LH surge...i do have PCOS...but it seems unlikely...don't think that's ever happened before and the surge happened around the time i usually ovulate. feel like it's pushing it making that the explanation to be honest and, to be frank, we didn't have like full-on unprotected sex after the date I suspect we conceived. (ok TMI here but anyway, we weren't actively trying and usually pull out, so for us to have conceived later we're talking about a false LH surge plus some sperm somehow slipping out...sounds a bit far-fetched...sorry again for TMI but we're all grown ups right?)
my betas are rising nicely, they started low but rose very well. no one is unhappy about them. im on progesterone supplements (two previous losses).
my OB says its 50/50. he doesn't mince words. im repeating the scan in a week and a half (torture!).
any light out there? or am i doomed. this was technically unplanned but im 34, dying to be a mother, and desperately want this to happen.
thanks guys

I have pcos symptoms and did a hormone blood test on the 3rd day of my period which indicated my hormones were fine. My period is only 3 days long, Would this maybe cause the test to show normal hormones since by the time I did the test my hormones would’ve went back to normal cuz technically it’s as if getting it done on the 7th day of ur period (the last day)? I didn’t mention my short periods to the doctor
I can feel my hormones shifting 5days before my period since I break out alottt like crazy and my face swells up. By the third day of my period it’s pretty much resolved. So my question is should I ask for another test and test on the first day of my period? or what’s the best to do? Or would the test be accurate regardless and maybe my symptoms are just genetic? I experience crazy symptoms that indicate a hormonal imbalance (I’m suspected raised Androgens because I found that drinking spearmint tea helps the symptoms- it lowers androgens that tend to spike before/during period)
Im also supposed to do an ultrasound of my ovaries but I’m more interested in knowing my hormone levels first. Im just so tried of the acne specifically, I tried every topical cream on the market including topical androgen blockers which didn’t rly work but the only time I break out is my period so I’m not sure what’s going on with my body. They just want to put me on birth control which I refuse to take pills that alter hormones specifically that so far the test indicated my hormones r fine so why should I fuck around w them? and it’s so frustrating when doctors just keep telling you you’re fine. If I’m fine then I wouldn’t be getting all these symptoms?? I’d be like all my friends who don’t break out and swell up on their periods.

I'm 10 days post op now and healing super well so I wanted to share my story, bc I know getting surgery can be super scary and it definitely helped me to hear from people who's surgeries went well :)
For reference I'm 14 f
It started with what I assumed to just be a random stomach ache (I've had minor tummy troubles for my whole life so it's not usually a concern), but it got worse over the span of a couple days and also developed into back pain. Around 4 days into the pain we decided to go to urgent care, and the Dr said I had pretty much a "textbool case" of gallstones. We scheduled an ultrasound for 2 days later.
I never ended up going to that ultrasound bc the day after urgent care, I couldn't sleep because the pain was so bad. So we went to the ER, hoping they could at least prescribe some pain meds (ibuprofen wasn't doing much good).
After hours of waiting, they finally got me in for an ultrasound at the ER. They looked at my pancreas, kidney, liver, and of course gallbladder. A few more hours later and we finally get to talk to a doctor (and get some meds) the doctor confirmed that I definitely had gallstones (we later found out the were 2 cm and there were at least 4.)
Eventually we spoke to the surgeon, who basically said that the pain wasn't going to improve so it made sense to just take it out now. He explained that I had a very borderline case. I definitely had gallstones that were clearly causing pain, but I hadn't experienced and nausea/vomiting/fever. However, I had a slighty raised white blood cell count so he still advised to get it removed asap.
I'll spare the details, but because I'm not an adult they had to transfer me to the children's hospital in order to do an operation and we ended up not being able to do it until th next day, because it wasn't technically an "emergency." The nurses were mostly good, although they wouldn't give me any pain meds stronger than Tylenol/ibuprofen until post op (so I was in mild pain for the entire night)
The next day, I got prepped for surgery and me and my mom spoke to the anesthesiologist and surgeon. Both explained exactly what was going to happen, which made me feel a lot better.
They gave me anxiety meds, so ngl I don't remember much after they wheeled me into the or.
It definitely hurts for a few days post op. Mostly the action of sitting and standing up. I had to learn to use my arms and legs in place of the core muscles, but I was able to walk to the bathroom a couple hours post op.
10 days later, I'm back to normal activities with no pain and my incisions are healing super well. Very glad I got the removal over with, and my surgeon didn't give me any dietary restrictions.
I know this was super long, but hopefully someone found it helpful :) good luck to anyone getting surgery soon 💚

I'm not sure if this type of post is allowed in this subreddit so please feel free to delete it if it isn't.
My wife is pregnant with our first child and had her first visit early (~7 weeks). The OB GYN ordered two ultrasounds, transabdominal and transvaginal. When we got to the ultrasound department, the ultrasound tech was adamant that it was too early in the pregnancy for anything to show on a transabdominal ultrasound so we only went forward with the transvaginal one.
The clinic has submitted two codes to our insurance for payment: 76801 and 78617. We reached out to the facility because, to the untrained eye, 76801 seems to be a code for a transabdominal scan and 76817 is for a transgavinal one. They aren't denying that she only had the transvaginal scan -- they fully admit that the transabdominal scan didn't happen. However, they said that both codes are still appropriate because 76801 can technically be either transvaginal or abdominal and, if transvaginal, it looks at something different than 76817.
So, tl;dr, we're trying to figure out if 76801 and 76817 should be billed together if only one (1) ultrasound was performed transvaginally for the verification/dating of a pregnancy.

Hello,
I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks, went and took the abortion pill at 4.5 weeks.
They didn’t see anything in my uterus because of being so early, but they gave me the pills and talked about the risks of being ectopic
Everything went well, my hcg levels were 338 at the time of picking up the pill, then 114, 48 hours post abortion.
I go in for more blood work at 5.5 weeks to see if it’s continuing to drop and it went up to 128.
I’m 6 weeks now technically today when I found out the results.
They want me to go back in this Thursday so more blood work and if it continues to rise, I have to go for a high resolution ultrasound to check and get treatment for ectopic,
I’m very scared. I’ve seen a lot of horror stories on here about it rupturing, I’m just looking for support and if anyone thinks it could just be something else?
To add * I have extreme nausea and tiredness the whole first week of finding out, 48 hours after abortion pill, I had no nausea and my energy levels have been great, just sore boobs still and light bleeding

Last week I found out I have PCOS and endometriosis. I’m pretty shocked bc I was hoping to just have one or none. But it does validate my pain. My symptoms have always been pain and week before period that’s inconsistent. And then day 1&2 are awful.
He did an ultrasound and says I have over 12 cysts on each ovary (PCOS) and he wants to do a laparoscopy to remove the cysts which he believes will help my pain as well as the endo if possible.
He did just start me on a birth control and I missed one pill (or didn’t technically miss but took it 9 hours late) and started my period 2 weeks after my last period. This period though I had cramps but they weren’t even close to as terrible as normal.
Now I’m wondering should I just keep taking the birth control and see if the pain in manageable? He also said my left ovary is immobile. Not sure if anyone has experience with that but that might be the main reason I’m persuaded for the surgery. Also to help with fertility possibly?
Sorry if this sounds a bit all over the place, with insurance this is still going to cost me money so I want to make sure it’s worth it. I also planned on switching to a better coverage plan in January so I was contemplating waiting until then.
Lmk your thoughts please 🖤😭

I am so confused and would like to hear others’ experiences. I had my first ultrasound (transvaginal) on 5/6. They said they saw only a gestational sac, no yolk or fetal pole. At this point I was pretty sure I was only 5+1 weeks pregnant so I wasn’t surprised we didn’t see anything. I had a repeat ultrasound scheduled for two weeks later.
On 5/8 I started spotting, I only noticed after I wiped. It started as a very small amount and was bright red. I continued lightly spotting until the next morning (now a brown color and not enough to even wear a pad). I went in at the request of my OB and he did a pelvic exam. He could apparently see more blood and said I was most likely having a miscarriage. He sent me for labs to confirm through my HCG levels. I got my first blood draw on 5/8 with a value of 15,834 and my second on 5/11 with a value of 21,485. At the point of the blood draw I would be 5+4 weeks. I was not expecting a rise in values at all.
I have continued lightly spotting since 5/8. I have not passed any noticeable tissue during this time. This is my very first pregnancy.
Has this happened to anyone else? Should I request and ultrasound and another HCG draw? Have I not technically miscarried but will inevitably? I really don’t know what to think right now.

the prompt is 2021 Q1
https://apcentral.collegeboard.org/media/pdf/ap21-frq-english-language.pdf?course=ap-english-language-and-composition
For centuries handwriting has been our primary source of documenting data, but is it still currently? With digital technology reaching into everyones' back pockets the decline of handwriting is evident. Email's have replaced letters, Word has replaced note taking, powerpoint has replaced posters, and many more. Even though handwriting is a great skill to have, and can help you with other aspects in life, its pragmatic uses are continuously declining. Thus it should not be focused on in school as a mandated class but rather as an elective.
Undoubtably, handwriting has major benefits, more than just the physical writing it self. Cursive script is proven to develop fine motor skills and improve mental organization (SOURCE D). Even though cursive handwriting has such benefits, the uses it posses in the everyday world are exponentially declining. What would be the point of focusing valuable education time on forcing every student to learn cursive? It would be absurd, if they want to do it, they can choose to in the form of an elective. It would be deranged to force woodworking kids to join the band, same applies here. Or it would be the same thing as forcing every student to learn French, Japanese, Spanish, and Arabic, indisputably learning many languages has great benefits to one's mind, but it should be a choice especially since it is not used in everyday life. Or as SOURCE E states, Super Mario Bros can develop better motor skills. Another important factor to consider on WHY we should make it optional is its [handwriting and cursives] roots. The real reason we adopted such writing habits in the 19th century was to make our national identity and our sense of uniqueness. We differed from other scripts not limited too but including the Gothic script, or the Palmer method because they were connoted to different cultures (SOURCE C), we adopted this so we can show we are different, however in todays world that matters very little because everyone has the same Sans Serif font in their inboxes (font gmail uses). Vouching the fact that we should not make it a necessity at school for children to learn at school.
Even though mandating such a dying subject could potentially revive it, there is no practical need to do so. Doing so would most likely do more harm than good. SOURCE B portrays one of the thousands of worksheets teachers would have to print for every student to strenuously practice their cursive writing. We all know that deforestation is hurting our climate. Badly. So why waste even more paper, especially on children who have no interest in learning the skill as well. It is like buying a $100,000 racecar for a student who has no interest in racing. What will it lead to? Immense waste. To reiterate. The printing of worksheets should be encouraged for children who want to learn the skill of cursive handwriting, but shouldn't be forced upon everyone. There would be no point in encouraging penmanship in school since post-school the focus is towards technology, after all school is meant to prepare us for the future (SOURCE A). Schools that are focusing on it should reconsider and put more effort into preparing the children for the future. In 2013, writing on paper was on average 2x than writing with technology (SOURCE F), that is however 11 years ago and if numbers like that are still prominent, school administration should reconsider.
The point of school is to be prepared for the future. In today's world penmanship is almost extinct, and in tomorrow's world it will be extinct. Technology is more efficient to use, saves the environment, and is the standard for today. So why force children in learning something that will not have technical use to everyone. It [cursive handwriting] should be more of an optional elective, like woodworking or coding.

Background: I’m F22, 5’11, down to 160lbs now (I’m usually around 250). I have some mental health issues, IBS, and significant life stressors at the moment (it’s improving slowly but surely). My GP has described my IBS as “poorly-controlled” meaning around exam time I NEED to be medicated, usually Amitriptyline 10mg, but it’s not always nice to me and can make me extremely constipated if I take it for too long consecutively (that’s how I feel after 3.5 years of taking it off & on).
Since the end of last year to about February, I thought my IBS was just out of control, I was constipated but throwing up 3-5 times a week, then the next week I’d be passing basically water, I was extremely nauseous ALL the time and just felt like a bag of crap. I would also occasionally have days where I just could not eat. I was definitely hungry, but nothing sounded or smelled appetizing, but the opposite.
In February, after a significant bout of constipation I realized this was probably more than IBS considering it had been 10+ weeks; I had gone off, on, and off my meds, I stopped going out as often to just chill at home and it seemed to get worse. At this point, I was lucky to eat a full plate of food once a week, I threw up almost daily (if I didn’t throw up I would just sit over the toilet for an hour questioning life), my stomach was LOUD with gas bubbles that I felt every movement of and anybody in the same room could audibly hear my stomach movements. I had a few instances of incontinence and basically would sit on the toilet to fart (every 5 mins) bc they felt so powerful.
Now, in May, I’m basically skin & bones I’m starving all the time but my body just won’t let me eat (if I can I’m nauseous and over it by the 4th bite). So I’ve been referred to a GI specialist for a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My preliminary abdominal ultrasound revealed: “Gallbladder is not distended however appears filled with numerous small gallstones. No evidence of cholecystitis. No biliary duct dilation. Multiple small gallstones, no evidence of cholecystitis. Spleen mildly enlarged.”
Given all my symptoms, my age, and the quality of life I haven’t had for the past 6 months: I want it out. I already have to worry about IBS flare-ups and what my body can tolerate me eating, I cannot base my life around another organ and making sure it’s happy. My IBS is unpredictable and allows me to live a normal life at times, but given the severity of these symptoms (assuming they’re because of the gallstones) I do not believe my gallbladder will be so kind and it feels like it’s at odds with my stomach most days. I’m not 100% sure if I qualify for a gallbladder removal given my age and that the gallstones technically aren’t causing problems yet, but I am not just gonna wait for them to cause me blinding pain and spend 2 days in the ER waiting for care while catching 5 other viral infections. To be completely honest, I am just unwilling to continue living my life like this, I have 3-4 chronic conditions at the moment that have no cure and I’m not gonna wait until this one takes over my life (even more than it already has) before I receive care.
What is the likelihood that my Dr will recommend a gallbladder removal? Is there a way I can voice these concerns in a professional, but convincing way? I want to be in charge of my care for once and decide what happens to my body especially when it controls my life. Thank you so much for reading all this and any advice you may have.

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I am just under 5 weeks. Monday, it was 410. Wednesday it was 887. Today it was 2108.
They called to let me know the number and didn’t say it was good or bad. They just asked me to schedule my 6 week ultrasound. I guess I should have asked.
Maybe I’m thinking too much into it. Technically this is more than double? Is this normal

This story was originally written July 2023.
You might have heard of me. I was a social media influencer for two years.
I know kids have “influencer” as one of their top professions these days, but for me it was all an accident, really. I uploaded a few YouTube videos back in 2019, in the summer I finished school. All I did was rant about movies. I had a few notes, not a full script, and just spouted off to my laptop camera about inaccurate science, bad casting choices, real nitpicky stuff. In about six months I’d got 200 subscribers.
I was at university then, and I mentioned my videos to some of my uni friends. They subbed and told their friends, and I got up to 1,000 sub by January 2020. My videos were only about ten minutes long, and I had nowhere near the views to monetise. I was making one a week, but not on any sort of schedule. It was just something I did when I was bored.
Then the pandemic hit. A lot of students here in England basically got locked into their halls of residence (that’s dorms for any Americans reading), but I was lucky enough to get back to my parents’ before then. So I was doing what my uni laughably called “remote learning”, which basically meant a couple of video lectures a week, some worksheets, and lots and lots of my own research. I won’t bore you with the topic of my course; it’s not relevant.
I’m not exactly stereotypically pretty. I’ve come to accept that. My hair is stringy, my nose is too big, my face is profoundly asymmetrical, my complexion is strange and acned, my teeth are crooked … You get the idea. You can only do so much with makeup and hair that covers your face. I probably have fewer friends than I would if I looked like other people, and it actually took a lot of courage to make that first video - and even more courage to upload it.
I can only assume that’s the reason I went viral. It certainly wasn’t the high production values, or the tightly-written scripts, or the quality of my research. On the 9th of April I had 1,322 subscribers. On the 10th it was over 8,000. By the end of April it was up to 300,000, and I had actually monetised my channel.
The comments were … well, they were varied. Lots of hate because of my looks, but lots of love from people who just appreciated what I put out there, calling out others for their negative comments. I know many social media stars struggle with unkind comments, but I’d got used to it. Let’s be honest, they weren’t nice, but neither were they untrue. And comments under your video are easier to ignore than comments in the street. I was making decent money after all. If you were one of those commenters, you know which side you were on, and I love you either way. Thanks for the engagement - it’s not easy to gain financially from your unusual appearance!
The trouble with going viral is that it doesn’t last. Competing in the fast-paced world of internet stardom takes a lot of effort. I started experimenting with other things - YouTube shorts, TikTok, Instagram, pretty much anything going. The format that turned out to work best was actually TikTok. I’d bought some skimpy outfits and did ridiculous little dances. I quickly reached over a thousand views per video, and while I wasn’t up to their creator tier, it still worked. A well-known cosmetics company asked to sponsor my videos.
Cosmetics! Me! I guess they were going for woke points or something. I didn’t care, they offered me more money than I knew what to do with, as long as my views stayed high. So I started making 2-minute videos. A dance without make-up, then I applied the make-up - being sure to show the brand name clear and up-close - and then the same dance with make-up. If this is ringing any bells with you, then yes - that was me. And no, stupid - that’s not my real name.
I’d got used to undesired attention of course. Along with the unpleasant comments, I got my fair share of unwelcome male approaches. For a few hours after any upload, about half of my DMs were from men, and some women (or men with female account names), asking to see more of me. I wasn’t a camgirl, though I suppose I wasn’t a million miles away from one; but I could have been. I did seriously consider it a few times, but never actually followed through.
And half of the rest of my DMs, and a good portion of the public comments, were from angry women. What made me think I had the right to show off like that? How could I bring their favourite cosmetics brand into disrepute? But I’ve got pretty thick skin (hey, I can make that joke, you can’t), and mostly laughed the comments off and ignored them.
That was, in hindsight, a mistake.
By September my uni was reopening for in-person teaching. I was working six or seven hours a day just to keep up with everything, and had a couple more brands sponsoring me. Being an influencer isn’t just about filming for ten minutes a day and watching the money come in!
So I was going to tutorials an hour a day, watching video lectures at 2x speed, and ignoring my assignments in favour of making videos and replying to messages. It’s not like my pointless degree was helping with my real job.
Okay fine. It was geology. Rocks and stuff. You happy now? I bet you can’t tell the difference between sylvite and carnallite just by licking it, can you?
Anyway, the point is I came close to being chucked out. Actually I had to repeat the second year. At least I could afford it.
So anyway, I somehow got through to the end of my second year, the end of my second year again, and part way through my third year. I was passing my exams - just - and through several reinventions I had managed to maintain my social influencer role. Last Autumn I was getting some good views, and cash, back on YouTube. I was getting pretty good at make-up (I had an exclusive deal with one company on TikTok, and another deal with a different cosmetics company on YouTube). The videos that did well then were me with experimental hairstyles and not much in the way of clothes, putting on makeup for a few minutes, then reading out-of-copyright fiction in my patented “YouTube voice”. If you can imagine a cross between Shania Twain and Marge Simpson then… well, then you’re weird, but you’ve pretty much got it.
Then, last December, a week or so before the Christmas holidays, I went out with my friends. I had made a decent number, both girls and guys, by then. I could never quite tell whether it was my personality (which I assure you is fantastic), my influencer status, or the cash I was liberal with (it always seemed to be my round, and I didn’t mind). There were even a couple of boys who were keen on me, though I hadn’t done anything about it yet. Eight of us went out together to celebrate a birthday. It wasn’t actually anybody’s birthday that day, but Shireen had a Christmas Day birthday, and she wanted a proper party.
Now I look quite different in real life than I do online. I think the technical term is “frumpy” - jeans, trainers, fluffy jumper and a hat, or maybe a hoodie. The birthday girl had somehow convinced me to put a bit more effort in, and had helped me pick out some heels and a knee-length silver dress. Make-up was easy for me of course, and so I got dressed up and off we went to the Black Swan.
The Black Swan has several great qualities about it. One: it’s cheap. Two: it does good food. Three: it’s a couple of hundred metres from The Bar. We had a decent meal, a few drinks, and around 9 we walked to The Bar.
To be more precise, they walked. I wobbled. If you’ve watched my videos you might have seen me in heels, but did you ever see me walk in them? Didn’t think so.
The Bar is open til 3 in the morning. It looks respectable enough from the outside, especially in the afternoon; but after about 11, when most pubs close, it fills up with students drinking expensive-looking drinks. And almost every night, somebody jumps up onto a table, and then everybody’s up there dancing. In The Bar, either you hold your drink tightly, or you lose it.
I’d done this before, and I can handle my alcohol. I’ve stayed at The Bar till chuckout more than a few times, and I’ve been wobbly on the way home, but I’ve never thrown up or passed out. And so I was surprised when I woke up. The last thing I remembered was Stu saying he was tired, and Shireen replying that it wasn’t even midnight yet. Now I was lying on the hard wooden floor of my living room.
My head pounded. Daylight streamed through the window, and I blinked a few times and rubbed my eyes. My hands were wet and sticky.
I looked at them. They were covered in blood.
I looked down. My heels were across the room, but I was still wearing my dress. It, also, was covered in blood, a huge stain across the chest.
Panic set in. What happened to me last night? I checked myself out and could find no injuries. Where did the blood come from?
Standing up, I realised it was worse than that. Red pools stained the wooden floor. I don’t know much medicine, but if somebody had lost this much blood, I couldn’t see how they could have survived.
I stood up, unsure whether my shaking was from the shock or the alcohol. This was when I saw a shirt on the floor behind me. White, with a subtle pattern. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that it wasn’t my shirt. I lived alone, and rarely invited people back to my flat. I looked around some more. A pair of men’s black leather shoes by the door. And then I saw it.
I suppose, rather, I should say him. He was naked except for a pair of dark blue jeans, slumped in the open doorway to the kitchen, covered in blood, and very, very, dead.
I panicked then. I’m calmer now, so let’s take a moment to describe my conclusions that morning. I had got very drunk. I had met a guy. We’d come back to my flat. We’d been getting naked (the shoes and shirt weren’t bloodied). Then, for some reason, we’d had an argument or a fight. The body had stab wounds in the chest, and a pool of blood had congealed onto the wooden floor of the living room and the linoleum of the kitchen where the man collapsed. How did those stab wounds get there? I didn’t know for sure, but a quick glance at my kitchen counter showed that my sharp carving knife was missing. It was all coming together. I didn’t know if he had picked up the knife, or if I had; I didn’t know why either of us would do that. I didn’t even know his name, and later when I checked his pockets, I couldn’t find any ID.
There was a lot I didn’t know. But I’m smart. So once I was done crying on the floor (I think it was about two hours), I came up with a plan. This man was dead, and I couldn’t do anything about that. But what would the consequences be? There’s no need for my life to be ruined as well. I decided not to call the police. People go missing mysteriously all the time, he can just be another statistic and I’ll get on with my life.
The blood on Dave was mostly dry by now. (Sure, I didn’t know his name, but every bloke’s called Dave, right?) So I put a badly-fitting vest on him to soak up the remaining blood, and his shirt over the top, along with his shoes. His jeans were bloody, but they were dark, so hopefully it wouldn’t show up in low light. I couldn’t find his coat, which was odd given how cold it was, but this would have to do. I put my dress and heels in a plastic bag, and grabbed a spade that I never used. Had I missed anything?
The knife. The fucking knife. I searched all over for it, but by the time it got dark I still hadn’t found it. I knew I couldn’t delay for long, so I figured it was best to deal with Dave now, and find the knife later.
Eight o’clock in the evening came. I’m lucky I have parking right outside my house, no street cameras, and a ground-floor flat. I put the bag in the boot of my car and came back for the body.
Have you ever tried to move a dead person? It’s not easy, and I’m not exactly strong. I put my arm around his waist and eventually managed to heave him almost upright. “Come on Dave, that’s it. We’re gonna get you home. Maybe calm down on the tequila next time right? Try to keep it in, and don’t you dare vomit in my car, you sexy bastard.”
Oh come on, what do you want from me? I’m an influencer, not a stand-up comedian. And anyway, I don’t think anybody saw me during the several minutes it took to drag Dave to the passenger seat. I really wish I’d got round to buying a bigger car than the Fiat Punto I’d had since I was 18, but it was too late for that now.
There’s a place about an hour’s drive from me called Epping Forest. The Heritage Trust reckon it’s most famous for its huge tracts of unspoiled wildlife, thousands of trees, and Iron Age settlements. But around here it’s best known as the place where murderers and gang members bury bodies. So off I trundled in my 1.2 litre pensioner-mobile. I arrived around 9:30, checked Google Maps, and drove offroad into the woods.
Do you know how long it takes to dig a grave? The answer is: a long time! By dawn I’d only managed a hole about two feet. Oh, and it was my third try, because the first two times I found too much rock. Well, it would have to do. In went Dave, and I shovelled the ground back over him. I thought I could put my clothes in with him, but it was a shallow grave, and when the inevitable dog-walker finds it I didn’t want them linked back to me. I mean, there’s my DNA in there for sure, but let’s not make it too easy for them, right? So I chucked the spade in a river, and the clothes went back home with me, including the vest I’d lent him.
Now in England we have a thing called ANPR everywhere. The police can just type in a car registration and see exactly where it’s been from traffic cameras. I needed an alibi. Why had I gone to Epping Forest? For a hike of course! So I walked around for a few hours, got breakfast at a pub, and told the staff about all the wacky adventures I’d had that night. And while I was there, for the first time in a good long time, I checked my phone.
Hundreds of messages, of course. But only one sent a shiver down my spine.
Jolly_Gal_56234
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID
My heart thumped. My ears started ringing. I felt dizzy, nearly passed out. How could anybody know?
Of course nobody knew. I actually got messages like this fairly often. Just some idiot trying to wind people up. They’d probably sent a dozen messages just like it, to random people, and I just blocked her. Still it rattled me. I finished my breakfast, paid up, walked back to my car, and drove home.
My flat was just as I left it. Dave was gone, but his blood was still there. I scrubbed the floor for hours, and it helped a bit, but you could still see the stains. Exhausted, I showered and went to bed.
The next morning I woke up. I hadn’t posted anything for a day and a half, so I needed to do something about that. Scrolling through my messages, one stood out like a police light.
Jolly_Gal_28473
YOU’VE BEEN A BAD GIRL 🔪
Shit. SHIT! What the fuck is going on? I stared at my phone, paralysed with indecision. When I finally snapped out of it I made sure the door was locked, and tried to come up with a plan.
I had no idea who was sending these. Maybe they didn’t really know anything. You send stupid messages like that to hundreds of people, you’re gonna come across one who’s actually done something bad, right? I poured myself a big glass of gin, decided that nobody could know anything, and made a video.
Remember that one where I didn’t speak at all, just danced for three minutes dressed like 90s Britney to 70s disco music, titled “HANGOVER DANCE”? Yeah, that’s the one. I didn’t trust myself to speak without breaking, but I could dance about as well as I ever could.
The rest of the day I answered messages, emailed my sponsors, and considered getting an agent. It’s still just me doing everything, and that Sunday afternoon, I really didn’t want to. I also spent a few hours scrubbing the wooden floor with baking soda and vinegar, and looking for the knife.
I kept getting messages from Jolly_Gal. It didn’t matter how much I blocked her, she just popped up again the next day with different numbers at the end of her username. Always all-caps, just a single sentence.
YOU DON’T DESERVE IT
YOU’LL GET WHAT’S COMING TO YOU
OWN UP
DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT
Exactly one message a day, but always at different times. I decided it was a bot, and it was just coincidence that it started when it did. Until Christmas Day.
I’d been back at my parents’ for a few days, and endured the usual conversations about what I was going to do for a “proper job” after uni. They’re great, and really supportive. They’ve just never understood what an “influencer” really is, and that “playing on my phone” for six hours a day counts as work. My brother Rich gets it, but the rest of my family is honestly baffled.
Anyway, Christmas morning comes. All four of us were in the house together (my brother’s 17 so he still lives there), and we gathered together in the living room opening presents. It was a couple of weeks since the incident, and I still had nightmares every night, and those sudden panic attacks - you know, when you’re sure you’re going to be found out - but I was getting used to it. It had happened, I couldn’t change it, and I’d have to keep it secret for the rest of my life; but it was becoming a sort of background hum. I don’t know if that’s too quick, but I suppose I’ve learned to handle difficulty in my life.
Until we finished opening presents and I checked my phone.
Jolly_Gal_814385
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
And underneath, a photo of my kitchen knife, stained with blood.
I ran out of the house in tears.
Rich found me, sitting on the wooden bridge down the road from the house, my legs dangling over the river. I came here a lot when I was a teenager, so it was the first place he looked. I’d left my phone on the living room floor, and the three of them had seen the message, so he knew what triggered me. He just didn’t know the full story.
Well, I told him. I mean, not everything, obviously. But I told him how this person had been harassing me for weeks. He listened sympathetically, like he’s always done, and asked if there was anything he could do to help. I didn’t say anything; I just turned around, hugged him, and cried into his Christmas sweater.
After about half an hour we went back to the house. Rich explained things to my parents, thank goodness. I don’t think I could have handled it.
The rest of the holiday was … okay, I guess. More messages from Jolly_Gal, but only text. I made videos most days, and met all two of my old schoolfriends for drinks, movies and shopping. They’re big fans of my channels. I even took Rich out for drinks one evening, though it took us four pubs to find somewhere that wouldn’t ID him. He’s a bit of a babyface.
I did all I could not to think about Dave. I put him to the back of my mind, letting him live in the shed at the bottom of the garden of my psyche where he couldn’t disturb me. I guess that’s why it came as a shock to me, when I packed my stuff into the boot of my car to head back to uni.
There was one suitcase I’d packed but hadn’t got round to taking into the house. And peeking around the edge was that plastic bag. I’d forgotten to get rid of it!
Dad was helping me load the car, so I couldn’t do anything about it. I tucked it out of sight, finished loading up, said goodbye, and drove back to uni. It was dark when I got back, so I unpacked everything else, triple-bagged my bloody clothes, left my phone at home (no tracking me!), and walked two miles to drop them into somebody else’s wheelie bin.
The next morning I checked my messages.
Jolly_Gal_12592
WELCOME HOME
And a photo of me dumping the bag the night before.
You know what? This didn’t bother me. I mean, it did bother me, but not as much as I guess Jolly_Gal hoped. I’ve been bullied and harassed most of my life, and I’ve got pretty good at ignoring it. Sure, it was an escalation - she was actually following me - but it was just one of almost thirty messages. Jolly_Gal was hoping to destroy me. Instead, she hardened my resolve.
Clearly she had enough evidence to go to the police, but she hadn’t. And obviously she lived nearby. Now I’m no hacker, but you don’t do a job like mine without learning your way around technology. So I started sleuthing. I hadn’t bothered blocking her after the third or fourth message, so I made a list of all the messages, including timecodes. I’ve got a geology degree (almost), and we have techniques to analyse rock strata. Finally I had a genuine use for all that studying I sort of did!
Jolly_Gal was not as clever as she thought. She’d got sloppy. About half of her messages were sent at strange hours, on the hour. These were presumably posted by her bot. But the other messages were all sent between 7 and 8 am, or between 6 and 10 pm. So I guessed that she has a normal 9-5 day job, or maybe she’s a student.
Next I searched all the social media sites I could think of for Jolly_Gal or JollyGal usernames. There are a few, so please don’t go harassing people with that username! I don’t want innocent people to get hurt. After a few hours I had profiles of all Jolly_Gals. Pictures, locations, partial travel history, even birthdays for some of them. I discounted those who clearly weren’t in England, but I still had too many to narrow it down. The photos had no EXIF data so I couldn’t tell the type of phone or camera they used.
So my days became something like this: Five hours doing uni stuff, five hours working on my socials, and an hour or two learning digital sleuthing. I still went out with my friends sometimes, but made sure not to drink too much. I know how to have a good time without being drunk!
The breakthrough came by total chance. I rarely read the local papers, and just got lucky one afternoon in March. I was waiting for a friend in the pub after lectures, and there was a copy of the Post somebody had left on a table. So I flicked through it. The local council was rubbish at doing traffic. Some group of OAPS was organising a May Day celebration. And a woman had been convicted of body-snatching.
I recognised her! There was a photo of a woman in her early twenties. She’d been arrested when a corpse went missing back in December, and they’d seen her take it on the morgue’s CCTV. She’d been released on bail. “Prevention of the lawful and decent burial of a dead body” is a rare crime these days, so she hadn’t been sentenced yet; instead she was released until her sentencing, expected to be in August. Her name was Jenny Smith, which is so common as to be almost useless - that is, if you don’t have a profile of her on your laptop at home!
The report also gave her address. So I started hatching a plan. I texted my friend that I wouldn’t make it, and went home.
Jolly_Gal, or rather, Jenny, lived near me, and actually went to the same university. She had accounts on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Twitter, and a few others. Of course you can’t get Jolly_Gal by itself these days, but my profile gave all her precise usernames. I spent my evening watching her videos and reading her tweets. And then I found the smoking gun.
Jenny had posted a video on TikTok last June bitching about me. She’s way prettier than me, and yet I’d got all the subs and follows. She deserved all those sponsorship deals. It wasn’t fair that I had hundreds of thousands of subs and she only had a few thousand. She even said I was ugly and deserved to die.
Well, she got one out of two right, I guess. You can decide which one.
It all started to slot into place. Jenny was absurdly jealous of me, so she’d hatched a plan to destroy me. She must have roofied me in The Bar, got me and Dave back to my place, stabbed him, poured blood everywhere, and taken the knife home. I mean, I don’t know anything about forensic science, and I was drugged and panicked when I woke up that morning. I’d have no way of knowing that Dave had died days before he ended up in my flat!
I’d never managed to get all the blood out of the wooden flooring, and ended up putting a really misplaced rug over it. I chiselled off a sample and gave it to one of my friends who was doing a PhD in biology. It took a bit of persuading, but he ran an analysis on it.
It was pig’s blood.
Fuck Jenny. She’s not Jenny, or Jolly_Gal, she’s fucking Carrie!
She planned to destroy me. She ruined my mental health, she framed me for murder. All because I was more popular on TikTok than she was. Well, two can play at that game. I didn’t deserve what Jenny did to me. She did.
I thought about this all night, coming up with plan after plan, weighing them in my head. I wanted two things: to destroy Jenny, and to feel good about it for myself. Finally I had a course of action I’m actually rather proud of.
I decided to start slow. I did something anybody could have done - I mocked up a poster. At the top was “Jenny Smith - body snatcher!”. Underneath were two pictures, her Insta profile pic and the courthouse photo from the paper, and between them: “From This … To This!” And all her various social media handles to top it off. I printed hundreds of these, and pinned them all around the university and her street.
I’ve never thought of myself as an unkind person - God knows I’ve suffered enough myself to be sympathetic to others. But I’m willing to admit I felt a lot of satisfaction seeing her comments fill up with accusations and links to the online article. Jenny carried on making videos, but I could tell she was suffering. Good!
That was stage one. I had to up the ante for stage two. Jenny had covered me and my flat with pig’s blood, so I think we all know what’s coming next.
I pondered for a long time whether I should do it in the day or the night. But you know what they say - go big or go home. I scoped out her house for a while, and found out that she leaves her kitchen window, at the back of the house, open. Now I’m not the most athletic girl in the world, but I can be pretty determined when I want to be. So one night around 2 am I walked to her house - it’s only about half a mile - and climbed through the window.
I almost gave myself a heart attack when I knocked a glass over on the kitchen sink! Luckily it didn’t smash. I hid in a corner and waited for a full half hour before I decided Jenny hadn’t heard me. Then I snuck upstairs, slow as anything, and crept into her room.
Actually, the first room wasn’t hers. She shared with a couple of other students. Thank fuck I checked first! The second room was the right one. She was asleep, alone, in a double bed. I was so quiet that the only thing I could hear was my heart pounding in my chest as I opened my canvas bag, gently deposited its contents onto the pillow next to her, and took a photo. It didn’t come out that well - I couldn’t use the flash - but hey, I have a souvenir!
I really wish I’d seen her face when she woke up the next morning, staring at a pig’s head. She didn’t post on her socials for a week after that, and for two days she even forgot to send me a threatening message.
I’m sorry? You think I’m done? Oh, my sweet summer child. I’ve barely begun.
Jenny had a boyfriend, Abdul. I made sure he wasn’t around when I broke in, but stage three involved him in a big way.
Abdul was also at our university, a year younger than me, a year older than Jenny. He wasn’t very active on social media, but he did tend to broadcast his activity on Twitter. And what do you know? He’s also a fan of The Bar. So I spent the next month planning my move. I bought a new clubbing dress and heels - hey, I kinda missed that outfit! - and asked around for the other thing I needed. Some things you can’t just buy in Next, or a local butcher’s, but eventually I managed it.
I got my chance one Friday in May. Abdul had loudly announced on Twitter that he was excited for his boys’ night out in The Bar, and Jenny had been gushing about a girls’ night on the whole other side of town. Perfect. I spent hours on my makeup, and got to The Bar around ten. Abdul and his mates were having a drinking contest, and leching up at the girls dancing on the tables.
I figured I had a good long while before he would be ready, so I had a couple of drinks - not too much, but like I said I can handle myself, and I knew Jenny wasn’t around - and got up on the tables myself for a bit. Then about midnight Abdul’s friend got another round in, while Abdul was in the loo. This was my chance. I walked up to their table - which had no dancing feet on it, but a heck of a lot of spilled beer - and started talking to them, saying I thought their friend was hot.
“Uh, what the fuck?” “Not a chance in hell.” “Get lost, freak!”
Lovely chaps. But they were too far gone to notice me dropping something into Abdul’s double-whiskey-and-coke. For all I know, it’s the exact same thing Jenny used on me all those months ago.
Abdul came back and downed his whiskey in one gulp. I was worried he was going to vomit it up, but he held it in and blamed his difficulty on the coke fizz. Yeah mate, sure, sure.
Not too long after, he started to fade. His friends were really taking the piss out of him for being such a lightweight. Well, when I came over, the pisstaking just got worse. I introduced myself (with a fake name, duh) and told him he was hot. Believe it or not, it was only about twenty seconds before he put his tongue down my throat. Wow, I’m not sure I even needed to bother with the roofie!
His friends, who had been so intent on being mean to me, now turned their attention to him. I suggested we ditch them and go back to his place (I’d checked, it was only five minutes’ walk sober) - and off we went.
That was the first time I had sex. I’m sure I don’t need to go into details, but we did a lot of stuff, and I enjoyed it. I’m not sure if that’s because it was good, or because he was good, or because I knew what it was all for. I was impressed that he managed to keep going as long as he did in his state, but I do feel a bit sorry for him; from his Twitter he seems like a decent guy.
When he finally fell asleep I left. I’d got what I came for - pictures. And the next day I made a new account and sent a DM to Jenny.
At first I blurred my face, or chose shots that didn’t include it. A bit of editing and I could have been anybody. I watched their messy breakup on Twitter, Jenny hurling accusations, Abdul protesting his innocence. I know this is the age of social media, but I never understood why people play these things out in public.
And then, after posting a picture a day for a few weeks (I’d taken a lot of pictures), I sent one that showed my face clearly.
Jenny had managed to restrain herself from replying before, but now she knew who I was. She was furious! The very idea that her boyfriend had cheated on her with ME, of all people, was unbelievable. And this was exactly the outcome I’d been going for.
Jolly_Gal was broken. She’d ruined her reputation. She’d lost her boyfriend. She had nightmares about pigs (okay, so I don’t know that for certain, but in my imagination she woke up screaming every night). She was possibly going to prison. And now she knew that not only was I more successful than her as an influencer, but I was the one to steal her lover. She still sent messages, at first angry, but they soon degenerated into pleading. “Please stop.” “I’m sorry.” “We can work this out.” Jolly_Gal without CAPS LOCK, it was glorious to see.
In fact it was almost perfect. Three stages of my plan were complete, and only one remained. Jenny’s sentencing was in three weeks, so I had to move quickly.
She had two flatmates, so I needed to work around them. They weren’t particularly active on Twitter, but Jenny was. I knew from her tweets that while her flatmates had gone home, she was staying on a couple of weeks after the end of term. She didn’t say why publicly, but it was for her trial. No flatmates, no boyfriend. Now was the time.
And that brings us up to date. I’ve typed this up over the last few days, and saved as a draft. The final chapter, hopefully, comes tonight.
*******
I’m at Jenny’s house, and I’ve just called the police.
I turned up at Jenny’s door just after seven. Luck was with me - she’d tweeted that she was expecting a Deliveroo takeout. And I got there first.
The idiot actually kept the knife. I’d seen it when I was in her room. When she answered the doorbell, expecting food, and saw me - ah, the look on her face was priceless.
“I’m so sorry! Please, let’s just talk. I didn’t mean it to get this -”
I stalked towards her, anger in my face. Jenny fled upstairs. Perfect! She went into her room and shut the door, but I was like the furies of Greek legend. I smashed the door in, and looked on as Jenny cowered on her bed.
In full daylight, I saw the knife took pride of place in what looked like a shrine. She had photos of me printed out, and she’d written on them “BITCH”, “WHORE”, “FREAK” and all sorts of other hateful words.
Jenny had tried to make me into a murderer, so I gave her what she wanted. I grabbed the knife and stood over her. The coward shrank into the bed, begging for forgiveness, pleading for her life. Unfortunately for her I was not inclined to oblige. I plunged the knife into her chest, just as she had done to Dave all those many months ago. Jenny whimpered like a whipped dog, and after the ninth stab (yes, I counted), she stopped.
The police are on their way. I’m definitely going to jail after this. But Jenny got what was coming to her. We could both have lived happily, but Jenny chose otherwise.
And me? I passed my degree. I have friends. And jail or not, I have a life.
Burn in hell, Jolly_Gal.

Sorry for the long post - A while ago my office let go an attorney who was using company supplies and resources for another job he was prioritizing. He would sit in his office all day and not work on our files, instead he would be in meetings for this other job. At this time I was the office manager. The problem was the staff LOVED this attorney so when they found out I had agreed with letting him go they all drastically turned on me. They went to lunches with the person and I don’t know what was said but they immediately started ignoring me and being disrespectful. The shift went from genuinely enjoying work everyday to me constantly receiving smart ass remarks or everyone getting quiet and staring at me when I walked into the room. They ended up telling the managing partner that I was too toxic and thought I was better than them. They said they were afraid of me and I didn’t know how to do my job…all this terrible stuff that completely blind sided me. I had given these women/men my absolute ALL. I was constantly asking if they needed help, what could I do better? Giving tips and tricks I learned through my career. I even took people aside when I heard I wasn’t training well enough and was told multiple times to my face that everything was perfect but then they would go behind my back and say I wasn’t doing enough. They complained that I didn’t sit at their desk the whole day and do their work with them. TBH, that’s wild and considering I had my own file case load & admin duties, this request just wasn’t doable BUT I STILL STAYED LATE AND MADE SO MANY HOW TO WORKSHEETS TO MAKE UP FOR IT. In the end, the whole staff threatened the managing partner that if they didn’t fire me they would all quit. We are a small firm - can’t really afford something that dramatic. Well, my attorney basically told them he’s never had such a consistent and accurate assistant and there was no way he was firing me - he also didn’t believe what they were saying because I documented everything when it came to training and day-to-day. But to him I “lost the team” and they needed to do something. I lost my managing job and I now work fully remote and I am completely isolated from the offices. I used to be friendly with the other offices too but I’m guessing word got around and now even they have started ignoring me so I cut my losses and talk to no one. My attorney was absolutely shocked when this all went down because he thought we were so close, I thought so too. We always went out together we told eachother everything and then suddenly they hated me. I truly don’t understand the switch… it broke me. I still don’t understand why they didn’t talk to me??i re-think everyday and try to find what I could do better but I don’t think I ever want a managing position again. I ALWAYS made myself accessible to them. I had worked with truly office managers and wanted to be a positive in their careers and help them gain skills that would be beneficial in the long run, but I failed and it kills me. Maybe I was too much. I am now on multiple medications and my anxiety and trust issues have never been worse. Whenever I hear one of their voices in office meetings, I shut down and get so depressed to the point where I can’t work for a a while. I truly thought I found my “tribe” with these people but they really fucked me over….
ANYWAY the office manager that took over my position continuously sends me procedural questions. This person also hated me toward the end because I overlooked her for a promotion…I didn’t overlook her I went with the person that always stepped up instead of her who always said “don’t bother me I’m busy.” She seemed to think she was entitled to the offer because we were friends. The Questions that she asks would be easy to look up or they should know already. They are questions I have answered when I was office manager and have advised her to write things down, take notes blah blah blah. (It was also a problem when I would give advice on how to take notes regarding procedural stuff - I again made multiple how to sheets - they took this as me being too lazy to help them or that’s what I learned later) At first, I responded to the questions because I truly just felt it was mean to ignore a person, but now that more questions are coming I don’t want to respond at all. Figure it out yourself? But I am not sure if I am just being petty? Do I just suck it up and continue to respond to these questions or can I just “ghost her “? She’s not my manager anymore as I technically work for a diff satellite office now so I don’t see the harm in not responding? But I could still just be hurt. Sorry again for the long post.
TL;DR office manager who took over my position asks simple procedural questions over and over and I don’t want to respond anymore.