Hi! I'm bringing home a ~6 week old kitten tomorrow and just wanted to ask for some advice.
Some background info: one of my friends found him at their house a week ago, and they can't keep him so I offered. The kitten is 100% a stray (apparently the mother cat is a stray too? Not sure if she has other kittens) and he's been at the local vet for the past 5 or so days under observation.
The vet says he seems to be healthy-- he as no visible parasites, he's eating watered-down kitten food, and he's been using the litter box on his own. I visited him at the vet yesterday and he seemed to be grooming himself too. He was quite timid but not hostile at all. He started purring when my friend and I gave him scratches under his chin and my heart absolutely melted :"))
I've got some essentials like a water fountain, kitten food (the same kind he's been eating at the vet) and stuff for the litter tray, as well as a little hide/bed and some soft toys and blankets. I'm planning to set him up in either a corner of my room or a spare room and I was just wondering if anyone had any tips on how to make the transition easier, and if there's anything health-wise I need to watch out for?
I'm a first time cat owner so any advice at all would be appreciated! Truthfully I'm really nervous because I know 6 weeks is VERY young to be separated from the mothe litter-- I tried to find him a more experienced foster but all the shelters I called were at capacity, and some places wouldn't take him because he hasn't been vaccinated yet.
I'm worried that because he's been separated so young he won't know how to socialise or take care of himself as a cat. I'm also worried that he might be sick and I won't know how to spot it because I've never had a cat before.
I've been doing research online but I would love some more tips from experienced cat parents! Any advice is appreciated :D

Not many people will be coming to the wedding, a couple on his side and a couple on my side. We will get married in the morning, have lunch with the families, and then go home until we leave for our honeymoon in the late evening. However, I don’t want for that to be it, I’ll be getting all dressed up and I want to spend some time in the dress and make the day a bit fuller and more special. We are not partiers, we don’t drink, we’re not super close with friends or family so some things traditional activities like speeches don’t make a ton of sense. This plus the lack of people is what led me to think that the ceremony and lunch will be enough for the group. I’m wondering if maybe there are activities he and I could do, just the two of us, to make the day special. Maybe the “who’s more likely” game at home, recorded. Maybe I destroy him and super mario bros. Would it be weird to go out to dinner in my wedding dress? Do any of you have any other ideas for activities in this scenario?

My husband (30M) and I (30F) have been married for 3 years and together for 6. We have been friends, had sex frequently go on dates and enjoyed spending time with each other. All before I got pregnant. Before we got married, I had a found that he was texting his exes. I even saw one of her social media post from them hanging out. I confronted him and he told me that it’s not as it seems. She is very possessive and she is the one doing all that. She wants to break us apart. I didn’t believe him and wanted to break up. But he begged me. Told me that he will never do anything to hurt me again. And in the end I gave him another chance. A year later her proposed. I was so caring and loving. Always gave me attention and made me feel like the luckiest girl. Just a few days left to our wedding, I went through his phone and found he was talking very inappropriately with few girls. (I took his phone to make a call and saw a text so I checked his phone) I was devastated, didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want my family to find out anything. My dad had a heart attack few months before. When I talked to him he blocked all those girls in front of me. But the damage was already done. Even though I love him I couldn’t trust him anymore. I told him that I can never trust him again. He was sure that he will gain my trust and build us a happy life. After getting married he was such a great husband. Never hid anything from me. We were really happy even though I always had doubts about him. After almost a year of being married I got pregnant. It was a very difficult pregnancy and I was ordered to bed rest for 4 months by doctor. He took good care of me during pregnancy. Due to all the complications he wanted me to be with my family during delivery. He also came along with me. After delivery we stayed with my parents. My husband had to go out of city for his business so he asked my parents to be with me during that time. And my parents were ok with it. But after few days my parents had to visit my aunt as she was in critical condition. I told my husband and he was furious that they were leaving me alone. They went for a week. So I was ok with it. After be came back from his trip he changed. He gave his most attention to his phone. He stopped talking to my parents. When I talk to him about my parents he gets mad. Now our kid is 2 years old. And now I feel like he is married to his phone. He spend his time playing games or watching movies. He won’t help me with our kid or do any household stuff. I have been doing everything alone. He say that he is tired after work and spend hours gaming. He comes to room after I slept every night. We barely talk. Haven’t gone on a date in 2 years now. I tried talking to him about this. And he gets mad every time and blames me for everything. He told me he will never forget what my parents did. But I don’t find any issues with them. I feel like he is using it an excuse for everything. What they did doesn’t have to be the reason for him to distance himself from me. He can keep the distance between them. Now I am not even allowed to touch his phone. I don’t even try to look at it. Now I don’t feel the love I felt for him anymore. I have been feeling so lonely lately, t tried talking to him but he told me I was overreacting. Do I stay? And try to talk to him? but a part of me feels like it will be useless.

Hi, I just finished watching the series Ripley and I would like to share some opinions with you (there will be spoilers).
So, I really liked the series, at least until 2-3 episodes from the end. In the first half, I loved the style, the slow images, the black and white, the tension and suspense of a film noir, and the composition of the images in terms of objects and subjects. I liked that the series, for the first time or at least in rare cases, had actors speaking in English if they were American, otherwise all in Italian since it is set there, but with some devices where, for example, some Italians speak fluent English. In short, I was loving it, but by the last episode, I couldn't stand it much anymore and it saddens me because it's a series with style. I believe that some narrative problems already seen in the early episodes, as the episodes went on, grew considerably, leading to a rushed finale with many small lines opened and closed hastily and with several errors.
For example (I'm not going in order, but as they come to mind):
Marge: I just don't get her. She seems extremely in love with Dickie, but in the end, she starts flirting with Tom (completely unnecessary) and becomes stupid in her behavior. You'd expect her to have doubts (she was warned, she didn't get along with him) and to play a double game to understand who Tom was, but instead, she was genuinely infatuated with Tom and completely forgot about Dickie. I really don't understand this huge change in personality.
Dickie and Tom: Why did Dickie, if he wanted to get rid of Tom, take him alone in the middle of the sea on a boat 1500 km away? Did he want to get himself killed? You don't trust someone and you go together to an isolated place, without a reason?
The detective: He's a character I love, well-realized and wonderfully portrayed by the actor. Serious, intelligent, shrewd, and likable. Then he gets to the last episode and even he loses depth. An intelligent detective, who looks at details, who notices everything and makes appropriate conjectures and connections: he didn't want to personally verify Tom's passport, he never requested an investigation of his apartment (being a suspect) of Tom or Dickie, and on top of that, he goes all the way to Venice, sees Tom in person and doesn't question the fact that this man uses a wig, has the same voice as Tom and the same features as if he were his brother (light or no light, he shook his hand five centimeters from his face)? None of this makes sense. Moreover, he was looking for him so much, they gave him false leads, saying he was in Rome, he checked all the hotels, and when he meets him he doesn't solve the case by asking him in which hotel he had stayed after looking for him so much? Verify, don't find him, know he is lying. Instead, no. Then, why does he believe the boat story when the boat keeper had filed a report the same day? And what explanation does he give to a boat with blood and full of rocks that had been stolen?
Why does Tom buy six train tickets when he returns from Palermo?
The private detective arrives in grand style from America, already knows him, knows he is a scammer who changes identity, and when he talks to him believes everything Tom says, but what did he also get hit on the head?
In the last episode, all tension is lost, every scene that should make us jump out of our seats leads nowhere but to a dead end and a scene that is overcooked.
John Malkovich: Where did he come from? Casually in the last 20 minutes of the series, he goes to a dinner and he is also the stranger who always changes identity. What, two playmates found each other there by chance and without ever talking about it, they understand each other about what they do for a living?
In the entire series, no one ever saw a photo of Dickie? Even when they were on the table and at home?
The bank makes all that fuss from America for a false signature, then someone writes a letter and they believe it immediately.
Tom in the house in Venice introduces himself as Ripley, he has to stay there for at least six months and then disappears changing name and passport, how is that possible?
In Palermo, they recognized him after five minutes and no one remembers Dickie's face or in Venice no one recognizes him after months of newspapers talking about the case.
What is the time difference when Tom arrives in Venice (he already has a beard but it seems the day after) and when the detective receives the book?
The Camorra guy: He's there for two episodes, he's interesting, mysterious, and scary, and then he lets Tom walk all over him in three seconds and his only job in the series was to sell a boat? And the secret deliveries? And the art pieces?
Dickie's family: They come from America and for the English boy Miles, no one comes, this young man doesn't even interest his parents.
The night of the murder, Tom (I don't know how he transported a body standing up) drags it down the stairs, dirties everything, and then in four minutes cleans the entire staircase (or it was just slightly dirty after dragging a body by the head) with a single cloth. And the lady of the building believes they are mice? Mice as big as pigs? Also, excuse me, but here in Italy if someone makes all that noise on the stairs every three minutes, whether it's four in the afternoon, midnight, or three in the morning, you go there and look or call someone. He went back and forth (why didn't he take off his shoes for the noise of the heels?), elevator, doors, not even the lady of the building came out.
Moreover, the biggest of all: how long is the night of the murder and how does Tom go from the historic center of Rome to the Via Appia all those times back and forth if: the distance by car is about 30 minutes and on foot it is a good 1 hour and 30 minutes?
In short, I think this is a bit of everything that makes me frown and that, in my opinion, narratively creates a real imbalance and makes no sense. Moreover, the ending is really banal: wouldn't it have been better to catch him? Who really deserves a spin-off is the detective. Even the actor playing Ripley had no charisma, always the same expression, the same cadence in his voice, and that accent... for me, it could have been a 9 but it turned out to be a 6.

Hi, I just finished watching the series Ripley and I would like to share some opinions with you (there will be spoilers).
So, I really liked the series, at least until 2-3 episodes from the end. In the first half, I loved the style, the slow images, the black and white, the tension and suspense of a film noir, and the composition of the images in terms of objects and subjects. I liked that the series, for the first time or at least in rare cases, had actors speaking in English if they were American, otherwise all in Italian since it is set there, but with some devices where, for example, some Italians speak fluent English. In short, I was loving it, but by the last episode, I couldn't stand it much anymore and it saddens me because it's a series with style. I believe that some narrative problems already seen in the early episodes, as the episodes went on, grew considerably, leading to a rushed finale with many small lines opened and closed hastily and with several errors.
For example (I'm not going in order, but as they come to mind):
Marge: I just don't get her. She seems extremely in love with Dickie, but in the end, she starts flirting with Tom (completely unnecessary) and becomes stupid in her behavior. You'd expect her to have doubts (she was warned, she didn't get along with him) and to play a double game to understand who Tom was, but instead, she was genuinely infatuated with Tom and completely forgot about Dickie. I really don't understand this huge change in personality.
Dickie and Tom: Why did Dickie, if he wanted to get rid of Tom, take him alone in the middle of the sea on a boat 1500 km away? Did he want to get himself killed? You don't trust someone and you go together to an isolated place, without a reason?
The detective: He's a character I love, well-realized and wonderfully portrayed by the actor. Serious, intelligent, shrewd, and likable. Then he gets to the last episode and even he loses depth. An intelligent detective, who looks at details, who notices everything and makes appropriate conjectures and connections: he didn't want to personally verify Tom's passport, he never requested an investigation of his apartment (being a suspect) of Tom or Dickie, and on top of that, he goes all the way to Venice, sees Tom in person and doesn't question the fact that this man uses a wig, has the same voice as Tom and the same features as if he were his brother (light or no light, he shook his hand five centimeters from his face)? None of this makes sense. Moreover, he was looking for him so much, they gave him false leads, saying he was in Rome, he checked all the hotels, and when he meets him he doesn't solve the case by asking him in which hotel he had stayed after looking for him so much? Verify, don't find him, know he is lying. Instead, no. Then, why does he believe the boat story when the boat keeper had filed a report the same day? And what explanation does he give to a boat with blood and full of rocks that had been stolen?
Why does Tom buy six train tickets when he returns from Palermo?
The private detective arrives in grand style from America, already knows him, knows he is a scammer who changes identity, and when he talks to him believes everything Tom says, but what did he also get hit on the head?
In the last episode, all tension is lost, every scene that should make us jump out of our seats leads nowhere but to a dead end and a scene that is overcooked.
John Malkovich: Where did he come from? Casually in the last 20 minutes of the series, he goes to a dinner and he is also the stranger who always changes identity. What, two playmates found each other there by chance and without ever talking about it, they understand each other about what they do for a living?
In the entire series, no one ever saw a photo of Dickie? Even when they were on the table and at home?
The bank makes all that fuss from America for a false signature, then someone writes a letter and they believe it immediately.
Tom in the house in Venice introduces himself as Ripley, he has to stay there for at least six months and then disappears changing name and passport, how is that possible?
In Palermo, they recognized him after five minutes and no one remembers Dickie's face or in Venice no one recognizes him after months of newspapers talking about the case.
What is the time difference when Tom arrives in Venice (he already has a beard but it seems the day after) and when the detective receives the book?
The Camorra guy: He's there for two episodes, he's interesting, mysterious, and scary, and then he lets Tom walk all over him in three seconds and his only job in the series was to sell a boat? And the secret deliveries? And the art pieces?
Dickie's family: They come from America and for the English boy Miles, no one comes, this young man doesn't even interest his parents.
The night of the murder, Tom (I don't know how he transported a body standing up) drags it down the stairs, dirties everything, and then in four minutes cleans the entire staircase (or it was just slightly dirty after dragging a body by the head) with a single cloth. And the lady of the building believes they are mice? Mice as big as pigs? Also, excuse me, but here in Italy if someone makes all that noise on the stairs every three minutes, whether it's four in the afternoon, midnight, or three in the morning, you go there and look or call someone. He went back and forth (why didn't he take off his shoes for the noise of the heels?), elevator, doors, not even the lady of the building came out.
Moreover, the biggest of all: how long is the night of the murder and how does Tom go from the historic center of Rome to the Via Appia all those times back and forth if: the distance by car is about 30 minutes and on foot it is a good 1 hour and 30 minutes?
In short, I think this is a bit of everything that makes me frown and that, in my opinion, narratively creates a real imbalance and makes no sense. Moreover, the ending is really banal: wouldn't it have been better to catch him? Who really deserves a spin-off is the detective. Even the actor playing Ripley had no charisma, always the same expression, the same cadence in his voice, and that accent... for me, it could have been a 9 but it turned out to be a 6.

Many spoilers. Obviously.
While watching the movie I could not stop thinking about about my two favorite shows Twin Peaks and Buffy the Vampire Slayer and how much they influenced the structure of the film. Not just in cultural references but in the very concept of the universe the characters inhabit.
The key concept that kept coming up for me was the pocket universe concept and how much that is the basis of the Midnight Realm. When someone asked why Owen seemed like he was 89 even though, if you did the math, he was likely in his 40s, I was taken back to the third season premier of Buffy. In it Buffy, escaping her friends, family and obligations, flees to another town and takes on the identity of Anne. While working at a dinner she uncovers a mystery of young people suddenly disappearing, then returning a few days later but in their old age and dying.
What she discovers is demons capturing them and taking them to another dimension to work at a factory as slaves. In that dimension time moves very differently, so while they are gone for only a few days in our world, they age decades in the factory universe. Just like time moves in the Midnight realm. In fact middle aged Owen looks quite like one of these former teenagers dying of old age in the makeup.
The idea of time moving differently comes up again in season three two episodes later in Faith, Hope and Trick when Angel returns from a hell dimension as a feral creature with little memory of his past. Buffy learns that while he was only gone for a few episodes in her world, he’d been tortured for centuries in the hell dimension of Acathla.
These pocket universes in Buffy also appear in the underlying mythology of the Black Lodge in Twin Peaks. The black lodge (the place with red curtain and wavy tiles) is another dimension where agent cooper gets trapped at the end of the show and remains trapped in The Return before coming back as Douggie. In the real world his form is a vessel for BOB.
In both of these fictional worlds there is a real world and side dimensions of it. I saw the TV Glow turns this on its head by positing that the world you think is real, the boring suburbia, is actually the Midnight Realm, and the Pink Opaque is reality. The Midnight Realm was a pain created by Mr Melancholy to trap the characters and make them forget who they really are.
Clues of this abound. The most visually striking is the presence of TV static throughout the Midnight Realm. From the reflection of staticky fire above the campfire Owen sets or the glowing static above him when he sleeps over Mattie’s. Also, when Mattie returns, likely through the downed power line, the gap in the road is filled with static. The most obvious being when he watched the season 5 finale and tries to escape back into the real world by thrusting his head into the TV then, when his father pulls him out, saying You’re not my dad and this isn’t my house. Finally, the very end when he opens up his chest, we see TV static.
This is what Mattie tried to explain to him, quite plainly, but the film essential becomes him wrestling with his denial that he’s in the Midnight Realm, and is dying there while his real self and body are buried underground, heartless, in the pink Opaque. As it becomes more and more obvious the world he inhabits isn’t real, maintaining his denial causes more and more psychic stress until he eventually breakdown at a children’s party.
This real world/pocket world also forms the basis of the trans allegory at the heart of the film. In the Midnight Realm he isn’t in the body that is his actual body, which reflects his true self. His father, like a Midnight Realm policeman tries to keep him in denial so he doesn’t realize he’s in the wrong body in the wrong world, by discouraging him from watching the show through menacing gender policing to literally pulling him out of the TV show world. It’s a pretty power metaphor to say that, as unbelievable as it might seem, your true reality is the world resembling the Buffyverse, that you need to bury yourself alive to return.

Hi, I just finished watching the series Ripley and I would like to share some opinions with you (there will be spoilers).
So, I really liked the series, at least until 2-3 episodes from the end. In the first half, I loved the style, the slow images, the black and white, the tension and suspense of a film noir, and the composition of the images in terms of objects and subjects. I liked that the series, for the first time or at least in rare cases, had actors speaking in English if they were American, otherwise all in Italian since it is set there, but with some devices where, for example, some Italians speak fluent English. In short, I was loving it, but by the last episode, I couldn't stand it much anymore and it saddens me because it's a series with style. I believe that some narrative problems already seen in the early episodes, as the episodes went on, grew considerably, leading to a rushed finale with many small lines opened and closed hastily and with several errors.
For example (I'm not going in order, but as they come to mind):
Marge: I just don't get her. She seems extremely in love with Dickie, but in the end, she starts flirting with Tom (completely unnecessary) and becomes stupid in her behavior. You'd expect her to have doubts (she was warned, she didn't get along with him) and to play a double game to understand who Tom was, but instead, she was genuinely infatuated with Tom and completely forgot about Dickie. I really don't understand this huge change in personality.
Dickie and Tom: Why did Dickie, if he wanted to get rid of Tom, take him alone in the middle of the sea on a boat 1500 km away? Did he want to get himself killed? You don't trust someone and you go together to an isolated place, without a reason?
The detective: He's a character I love, well-realized and wonderfully portrayed by the actor. Serious, intelligent, shrewd, and likable. Then he gets to the last episode and even he loses depth. An intelligent detective, who looks at details, who notices everything and makes appropriate conjectures and connections: he didn't want to personally verify Tom's passport, he never requested an investigation of his apartment (being a suspect) of Tom or Dickie, and on top of that, he goes all the way to Venice, sees Tom in person and doesn't question the fact that this man uses a wig, has the same voice as Tom and the same features as if he were his brother (light or no light, he shook his hand five centimeters from his face)? None of this makes sense. Moreover, he was looking for him so much, they gave him false leads, saying he was in Rome, he checked all the hotels, and when he meets him he doesn't solve the case by asking him in which hotel he had stayed after looking for him so much? Verify, don't find him, know he is lying. Instead, no. Then, why does he believe the boat story when the boat keeper had filed a report the same day? And what explanation does he give to a boat with blood and full of rocks that had been stolen?
Why does Tom buy six train tickets when he returns from Palermo?
The private detective arrives in grand style from America, already knows him, knows he is a scammer who changes identity, and when he talks to him believes everything Tom says, but what did he also get hit on the head?
In the last episode, all tension is lost, every scene that should make us jump out of our seats leads nowhere but to a dead end and a scene that is overcooked.
John Malkovich: Where did he come from? Casually in the last 20 minutes of the series, he goes to a dinner and he is also the stranger who always changes identity. What, two playmates found each other there by chance and without ever talking about it, they understand each other about what they do for a living?
In the entire series, no one ever saw a photo of Dickie? Even when they were on the table and at home?
The bank makes all that fuss from America for a false signature, then someone writes a letter and they believe it immediately.
Tom in the house in Venice introduces himself as Ripley, he has to stay there for at least six months and then disappears changing name and passport, how is that possible?
In Palermo, they recognized him after five minutes and no one remembers Dickie's face or in Venice no one recognizes him after months of newspapers talking about the case.
What is the time difference when Tom arrives in Venice (he already has a beard but it seems the day after) and when the detective receives the book?
The Camorra guy: He's there for two episodes, he's interesting, mysterious, and scary, and then he lets Tom walk all over him in three seconds and his only job in the series was to sell a boat? And the secret deliveries? And the art pieces?
Dickie's family: They come from America and for the English boy Miles, no one comes, this young man doesn't even interest his parents.
The night of the murder, Tom (I don't know how he transported a body standing up) drags it down the stairs, dirties everything, and then in four minutes cleans the entire staircase (or it was just slightly dirty after dragging a body by the head) with a single cloth. And the lady of the building believes they are mice? Mice as big as pigs? Also, excuse me, but here in Italy if someone makes all that noise on the stairs every three minutes, whether it's four in the afternoon, midnight, or three in the morning, you go there and look or call someone. He went back and forth (why didn't he take off his shoes for the noise of the heels?), elevator, doors, not even the lady of the building came out.
Moreover, the biggest of all: how long is the night of the murder and how does Tom go from the historic center of Rome to the Via Appia all those times back and forth if: the distance by car is about 30 minutes and on foot it is a good 1 hour and 30 minutes?
In short, I think this is a bit of everything that makes me frown and that, in my opinion, narratively creates a real imbalance and makes no sense. Moreover, the ending is really banal: wouldn't it have been better to catch him? Who really deserves a spin-off is the detective. Even the actor playing Ripley had no charisma, always the same expression, the same cadence in his voice, and that accent... for me, it could have been a 9 but it turned out to be a 6.

For context, my friend (m17) often comes to me for relationship advice because he's in his first relationship as of today. They've been going for 6 months now but I worry because he tells me all his problems about his relationship and I see it as him being immature, but I don't want to bring him down or invalidate him because it's his first relationship. I admit it's my inability to give proper advice but I really don't know what to do in this situation.
Things he often complains about (these are his words not mine): - His girlfriend doesn't initiate conversation often, and this bothers him because it's draining, as he says. (She's not very active on social media or use her phone much) - She doesn't update him even though he tells her repeatedly to do so. - He's a very big overthinker and often has bad thoughts of what may happen to his girlfriend that's why he's scared when she doesn't update.
I told him repeatedly if he wasn't ready for a relationship he shouldn't be in one, but he keeps saying he is. He says he's aware of his flaws, but whenever we talk it feels like he's just flaunting them to me. He claims he's going to change but repeatedly does the same things over and over again.
His girlfriend is a great girl, we've been friends for a while and she's mature and tells him off whenever he gets too ridiculous with his overthinking but I just don't know about this guy. 😭

What happened to VPR in your bio and what's going on? (Timestamp: 2:04) - Scheana: So to be honest, my sister does all of my links and that stuff on Instagram for me. I didn't even notice that it was taken out of my bio until everyone else did. I think maybe when she put the Sweet and Sour song in, she took out VPR because there were too many things in my bio. - Scheana: Also, for 11 years, I've never had anything VPR in my bio until we were nominated for an Emmy. James Kennedy and I worked together the day we found out and we're like, who could put it in their bio faster? What emoji should we use? - Scheana: And we both put it in our bio and then lo and behold, we didn't win the Emmy. And what was it? Emmy nominated VPR was in my bio for, I think just around the Emmy time and then my sister took it out. - Scheana: So literally no other rhyme or reason, nothing else going on there. It just, too many things in the bio just make it a little too cluttered looking and you know, I'm OCD. So I guess she just wanted to keep it clean.
Do you wish you guys have been able to break the fourth wall more? Are there any moments from past seasons where you wish that it happened? (Timestamp: 3:22) - Scheana: Yes, honestly, I think that is so interesting when you're watching a reality show and they talk about the show on the show. - Scheana: They do this on Kardashians. They do this on the D'Amelio show. And I just think that makes the reality even more real because there are things that happen in press on Watch What Happens Live at the reunion last year. - Scheana: There are things that you want to address where you have to say like, oh, well the last time we were in New York together, I noticed they were doing that on the first episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. And we used to do that all the time on the show. Sometimes you just want to be like, look at the reunion last year, but you have to say like, well the last time we all got together. - Scheana: And it's just easier and I think it makes sense if you just say, well, you said this on Watch What Happens Live, not I heard you said. And so I do hope moving forward with the way our season ended that we're able to have more moments like that because I think it just adds to our reality. And there have been so many things in the past. - Scheana: I can't even think off the top of my head, but yeah, many moments where I wish we could just talk about the show on the show. But I also understand why they don't like to do that. And I think it's only really meant for important moments. So, hopefully there is a season 12 and maybe we see a little more of that.
How are you feeling after Reunion 1 aired? (Timestamp: 4:56) - Scheana: Well, I have not looked on anything said on social media. I felt like watching the episode, it was a pretty good one. I think the next two are gonna be definitely more dramatic from what I remember. I feel like I tend to emotionally blackout after Reunion days. - Scheana: And I'm like, wait, what happened? What did we say? And then we have to watch it back. But that's the beauty of reality TV is you gotta watch back your life, the good, the bad, the cringe, all of it.
Is there anything you wish we got to see this season but didn't? (Timestamp: 5:35) - Scheana: There are a few things, but there's also a secrets revealed episode that is going to air, I believe only on Peacock, after the third part of the reunion the following week. - Scheana: So you'll see some new interview bites. We did some doubles there, which is really fun. And you'll see some scenes that didn't make it in. - Scheana: One of them is my sister's birthday and Valley Brat launch party. So that was a really fun day. Almost the entire cast was there. Katie and Tori were there. And I'm excited to see that. I haven't seen it yet, but I know that that's one of the scenes that we should be seeing. Stay tuned.
Anything you wish you said at the reunion that you didn't get a chance to say? (Timestamp: 6:20) - Scheana: I haven't seen the last two episodes of The Reunion yet, so I'm not sure what all will be included. You'll have to ask me again in two weeks.
What are you planning to do on the VPR break? (Timestamp: 6:34) - Scheana: Reflect, grow, learn. I'm going to be working on a dream project of mine this summer, so I'm very, very excited about having time to do that and not figuring out how I'm going to juggle that with filming five days a week. I'm going to get to enjoy a summer off for the first time in like 12 years and the first time as a mom. So I'm really looking forward to having some downtime focusing on some other projects. - Scheana: Summer starts preschool and yeah, it'll just be nice to finish getting stuff done in our house. We're almost fully furnished, not completely yet. We still got some tweaks and add some little accent pieces, need some artwork in the living room, but I'm just excited to have time with the family and in the new house. - Scheana: And as crazy as it sounds being in the desert in the summer, I love being in Palm Springs. Even if it is 120 degrees outside, there's just something about my house. It's so peaceful. - Scheana: And now that we have Lala next door, I mean, we have both of our houses close to each other, but we'll definitely be out there a bunch this summer.
How do we feel about the next season being on hold? (Timestamp: 7:55) - Scheana: I think this break is needed. Honestly, I think it is the smartest decision to not jump right back in to another season like we did after Scandoval. I don't think enough time had passed. And I feel like if we gave it a little more time to breathe, things would have been a lot different. - Scheana: But I don't know, maybe we needed to jump back in as soon as possible to capture what was still happening. But for right now, after that reunion and how dramatic the season ended, and as you guys know, we all watched the last part of the finale together in front of each other for the first time, which was extremely emotional. I feel like all of us need a little bit of an emotional break. - Scheana: Some from each other, some from the cameras. I need a couple more EMDR sessions before I go back into another season. But I think giving us some time off to let some new story build up, follow some of the projects that we've been working on. - Scheana: And yeah, I think it is very needed and I think it'll be good in the end. I didn't know how I felt about it in the beginning, but the more I've sat with it, I'm like, yeah, this is the right decision.
What did you make of Ariana voting No It's Done on that IG fan poll asking do you think there will be a season 12 of VPR? (Timestamp: 9:18) - Scheana: Well, as her friend, I fully support her pursuing her dreams. I always have. I've said that multiple times. It's like if VPR and reality TV no longer serve her, then on to the next thing. She's going back to Broadway. She's doing Love Island. - Scheana: She has so many amazing things lined up. I don't even know what else is in the pipeline for her, but I'm sure many more amazing things. So if it's time to move on, it's like I completely get it. - Scheana: As her coworker, if this is true, I mean, it's kind of frustrating that she would advocate for the end of a work project that is a big part of my business and what Lala and I as moms do to support our families. - Scheana: So that's what's tricky too with this show is our life is our job and our job is our life. And as a friend, I understand and respect boundaries. As your coworker, there can be moments where it's frustrating. So that's how I feel about that.
What are your hopes for season 12? (Timestamp: 10:40) - Scheana: Well, I hope that we have one. First of all, the finale did feel very series ending, but I think it also opens up the door for a new beginning. I think there are still so many stories to be told among this group. - Scheana: And maybe with ending the season with the fourth wall breaking down, maybe that opens up the door to more of that for hopefully season 12. I think we have a really interesting story to tell moving forward. And I think there's going to be a lot left to tell.
How do you feel about Ariana not watching the season? (Timestamp: 15:28) - Scheana: Look, I get that it can be difficult to watch back sometimes. And I am a person who season six did not wanna watch back that relationship. And that relationship with Rob doesn't even compare to her relationship with Sandoval. - Scheana: So I understand she was busy, she was working, she was living in her happy bubble in New York, doing Chicago, and probably didn't wanna let anything get into her orbit, burst her bubble. I did the same thing when I was doing my show in Las Vegas. And I was performing every night on stage. - Scheana: I didn't want any of that going into me going on stage. So I get not wanting to disturb your peace. It's like she was literally living her dream at the moment that the show was airing. - Scheana: But with that being said, she wasn't watching the season, but she was keeping up on social media. And that's the thing that's hard for me because she's seen clips. And I know this does get addressed later in the reunion. - Scheana: I don't know what will air. I just remember speaking about it. But she was basing her perception off of fan clips and commentary. Like I know she even said on Watch What Happens Live that one of the things that hurt her the most was seeing the backup dancer comment I made. - Scheana: And in context that was honestly never meant to be shady. It was a cheeky comment where I'm actually like making fun of myself. I mean, I am not Beyonce, okay? It was a joke. But for her to say that really hurt her, I'm like, damn girl, like I didn't mean it in that way. - Scheana: But if you did watch the whole season and Andy asked her, did you see the conversation Scheana had with Sandoval? I felt like that conversation, I was having her back. I was advocating for her and her mental health and the things that he had done that were wrong outside of the affair. - Scheana: She never even watched that. She says that she lived the show, so she didn't need to watch it back. But there were all of the moments that she wasn't there for that I do wish she watched back because I think she would have a bigger picture of how I was being a good friend to her. - Scheana: So for her and Katie to say that they felt like I was a better friend to Sandoval this season, I definitely don't think I was a better friend to Sandoval. I don't think I was a good friend to Sandoval at all. Did I treat him like a human? Sure.
Is Summer Moon's half sister really named Winter Sky? (Timestamp: 22:51) - Scheana: No, I think someone online made that up. It's been circulating. That is not her middle name. It's not for me to say what her middle name is, but it's absolutely not Sky or anything close to that or seasonal.
Why do you think Katie spoke one way about Ariana off camera versus on camera? Do you think it was because she wanted to protect Ariana's feelings or was she worried about the backlash from the fans if she said anything critical about Ariana? (Timestamp: 24:36) - Scheana: I don't necessarily think it's either. I think it was and has been a business decision for them to remain a united front. They've made a lot of money on something about her. - Scheana: So I get, you know, not wanting to affect their business and I fully support that. I know what Lala said at the reunion, she felt that Katie was being fake by acting one way on camera and different behind the scenes. But I mean, I think Katie was probably prioritizing her brand as she was making, you know, probably more from that than from the show. - Scheana: So as a friend, I understand and respect the business decision. But you know, again, as a coworker, it's frustrating when you're not living your truth. So I get it. - Scheana: But it's like, we all show up and do the uncomfortable stuff. And when others aren't, it is frustrating. And if you do act differently on and off camera, you're probably going to get called out for it. - Scheana: So you should be prepared. If you say something on a phone call, just like Brock said something to Lala in private season nine, you know, just because it's off camera doesn't mean it's not going to get brought up on camera. So being authentic always is the only way to be on reality TV, honestly.
Don you see Lala's hypocrisy when it comes to her critique of Ariana's boundary needs, like Randall? (Timestamp: 29:34) - Scheana: I think it's different situations. Honestly, Lala and Randall weren't coworkers. If Randall had been on the show, I think it would be a different story.
How do you feel about Lala saying you were living in the comments section? (Timestamp: 29:50) - Scheana: I think it's more the concept that I let public perception get to me as I really don't spend a lot of time in the comments section. I read the first 20 to 30, as those are usually people I follow and friends, and then I'll see the next couple, but once there's a negative one, I'm like, okay, let's put this away. - Scheana: So it's like if I did fully live in the comments section, it would not be good for my mental health. And I mean, of course I care when people are mad at me. I'm a people pleaser as we know, but I'm also working on that.
Do you agree with LVP that a Lala and Schwartz coupling would be a beautiful thing? (Timestamp: 30:29) - Scheana: No.
Do you agree with Lala that Ariana got cheated on and then made it her whole personality? (Timestamp: 30:31) - Scheana: No, I don't agree with that either. If anyone has made it their personality, that would be more fitting of the other woman involved.
What do you think happened in NYC with Jax, Tom and Victoria after Watch It Happens Live? (Timestamp: 30:54) - Don't know, don't care.
Why aren't you and Sandoval talking much now? (Timestamp: 31:00) - Scheana: I mean, Sandoval and I haven't talked much in over a year since pre Sandoval, so nothing really has changed.
Tom said in a recent interview that he's not getting a redemption arc, but a re humanizing. Do you agree? (Timestamp: 31:14) - Scheana: I mean, whatever it is, I think he probably blew it. And even just watching him on Watch What Happens Live this season, it's like, yeah, you really haven't changed, buddy. - Scheana: You know, I did try to do what Scheana always does and see the tiny bit of good still left and the soul still there, but yeah, you know, whatever
If Tom told LVP that he was suicidal, why was he still filming? Did she get him help? (Timestamp: 31:47) - Scheana: That is a great question. You'll have to ask her that. From what I know, if he was feeling that way during filming, he would have to be in therapy and like talking to a psychiatrist regularly. But yeah, I don't know too much else about that.
Now that the dust has settled, do you think Tom made you look dumb? Do you regret it? (Timestamp: 32:08) - Scheana: I wouldn't give him that much power, TBH. If you think I looked dumb, it was my own doing. I don't regret any of my actions. I don't regret trying to still see some good in someone who had been a very good friend to me for many years, leading up to filming the show from the beginning. - Scheana: Tom and I were very close. We were close for the first few seasons. Season three, I felt like, was it two or three? Whenever Miami Girl and the whole that came around, I did feel like I was seeing a different side of him, the side that we all saw last year. I didn't think he was good for Ariana. - Scheana: I voiced my concerns to her mom. I stand by all of those things that I said back then, but when Ariana convinced me that he was a good person, he didn't do this and I needed to get off this or I was gonna lose her as a friend, I immediately just got over it. I made him my brand again and we built such an insanely strong bond from season two or three, whenever that was, up until Scandoval - Scheana: Although we were not speaking a ton leading up to all of this stuff, I think he knew what he was doing and that's why he started distancing himself from me. That's why Rachel started distancing herself from me because they knew they were being shady for seven months. - Scheana: So Tom and I not speaking that much right now is no different than the seven months leading up to Scandoval. But it's like also with Tom, I've had conversations with him on and off camera and I've tried to get through to him to snap him out of this downward spiral to start showing some empathy and deference towards Ariana, but it's been over a year now and he hasn't really been able to do that. - Scheana: It's like, regardless of who this man was in the past, I do have to accept the reality that that is not who he is now. It's been a hard pill for me to swallow and to watch back, but I think part of me maybe hoped that he had temporarily lost his mind and could be just shaken back to reality. - Scheana: I hoped that he could be genuinely remorseful, but I don't think he is. I felt like there were moments of it where the mask came down and I saw that Tom, and then he's just gone again. And then he says dumb shit that he tried to defend on Watch What Happens Live. - Scheana: (Does a Sandoval impression) “I was like, well, no, I was saying it was good for me. I did my job.” And it's like, no, that's not how you meant. And that right there, it's like Tom, right when you're starting to take a few steps forward, you just fully bury yourself again. I just, I don't get it, but I guess I do.
Do you see how much Sandoval manipulated you in the finale with that final scene? Can't you see through Tom's narcissism? The man has repeatedly lied to you, put you in legal peril, and he takes cheap shots at you by bringing up the Eddie thing. When are you going to wake up and realize this man doesn't care about you (Timestamp: 35:00) - Scheana: Wow, that's a loaded question. Look, a lot of things happened this last year that have changed my perspectives on various people and relationships in my life. Tom and I were friends, as I just said, for so many years, and years before VPR, and it's like viewers have only seen a small fragment of that friendship on the show. Same can be said for all of my castmates. - Scheana: Tom and I are always going to be tied together through this show and our long history, but we're never going to have a friendship like we had before. It's impossible to go back when so much has been broken. Like not just the friendship broken, but the trust shattered. - Scheana: I mean, and I haven't really necessarily seen the growth in him that would merit my energy being fully put back into rekindling a full friendship with him. So I'm not going to try and build that back up if I'm not seeing that from him.
Following you these last years on the show, listening to the podcasts and vlogs, it really felt like you would finally found your voice in this group once you had cut ties with Tom Sandoval. Now that he's back in the picture, you seem to have lost it. How can we help get that voice back? (Timestamp: 36:24) - Scheana: Look, I'm working on it. As hard as it is to watch back sometimes, one of the benefits of reality show life is the added perspective that comes with it. So in due time, I am doing my best. I really genuinely am. I'm trying.
If Rachel tried to reach out to you now, would you respond? If so, what would you say? (Timestamp: 40:22) - Scheana: Oh, I don't think I'm ever gonna hear from that girl, so I don't know what I would say, honestly.
Do you think that Rachel was groomed by Sandoval? (Timestamp: 40:30) - Scheana: I mean, that part of their dynamic was nowhere near me, so I wouldn't be able to answer that.
***end of recap

Hello, im 19m, uni student.
i have always been into a hobby hunt because i want to be dependant on my own happiness and not making other people the main and only source of my happiness, i have realised this problem 3 years ago, my best friend left me and stopped hanging out with me because i was too depressed and was not really energised so i was just a bit boring and he stopped hanging out with me to hand out with other friends, i dont remember why i was depressed but i remember that after he left me i felt 100 times worse, for 6 months i was almost always alone, i only had a mutual friend and we did not talk daily, i talked to her about the situation because well she is a mutual friend and knows him, she mostly put a chunk of the blame on me, saying relationships need both sides to put effort for it to work, she was implying that i did not put effort, which was wrong but then yes i stopped putting effort because ive been putting effort for a month and never got the same effort back.
after those 6 months, i have always been feeling like shit, i was around 15 but i dont think i truly realised how dependant i was, the mutual friend eventually got us back and he apologised and stuff, it has been almost 4 years now and he is my best friend, he is changed, i hated how i got back instead of moving on but i truly think now he is an amazing friend and has been with me in hard times.
a year after we were friends again, so 3-2 years ago, he started hanging out less and less, for valid reasons, i had to spend most of my time alone, and i did not know how, my days felt too long, unbearable. then i realised the gravity of the situation, i needed to do something and i need to know how to enjoy my own solitude, which is why i have always been hard on myself on trying having hobbies. i started going to the gym and cooking which was great and i still do that. and i have tried many other things but mostly, i did not really enjoy it.
fast forward to now, in my life, my close circle, there is 2 people, my best friend still, and a girl who i have been talking to for maybe 5-6 months now, i have feelings for her, and she does for me, i have told her how i feel a few months ago and she called me, i was scared but it turned out great, she said she feels that way too and she thinks im cute and blah blah blah. Thing is, we live very far away from each other, which is why we arent really officially a "couple". Like obviously she is more than a friend but still, we text and call frequently and i always have much fun. and i really do want to take things more seriously with her but i dont think now is a good time as she is having her finals and university entrance exams and also, sometimes i think if it is a good idea because of the distance, the plan is as we discussed if we do take things to the "next level" is to wait until we both finish uni (~2 years for me. ~4 years for her).
i feel like sometimes i am too attached, i really hate it, i have been like that and i know where it got me to, i dont want to be in that place ever again, i am genuinely scared. sometimes, like today and yesterday where i have not gotten a text from her, i dont feel good and i fucking hate it, i feel very pathetic, why can i not be content with my own ? its not like she disappeared or something, maybe because i already dont feel good and this is a plus to it, because it has happened more than once, one time she said she wanted to be alone for a time and it was around a week, for the first couple of days yeah i did not feel good but then it was normal, and i also started having feelings of hate, which i obviously hated, i get attached and when they want to have alone time i cant help but feel like they are tired of me or something, i hate thinking about it too much, and i know that if i just had a life with many things to do i wont be feeling like this, again which brings us to the hobby thing, i still go to the gym and cook but i would still have a long day not knowing what to do ALONE.
one hobby that i picked up and i hold it dear to me is cycling, i started cycling a lot when i was severely depressed around 2 months ago, it was amazing honestly, it gave me an hour of peace that i needed, just me and my bicycle and i go around my ugly neighbourhood listening to the songs my girl gave to me, i still do it but not daily, it is hard to do it daily because the time to do it is very limited, i can only cycle around 5pm so its a safe uv level and the sun is not too hot (it gets around 40c here) and i cant really do it after 7pm because the sun sets and i want to see the sun, i dont like doing it in the night. another hobby i used to do while i was depressed was building legos, i built a set and spent around a week, an hour each day and it was honestly great. i still have another set but i never got myself to do it, why ? i have a jigsaw puzzle that i am supposed to finish for like 2 months now and i never finished it, i have a big empty portrait in my room that the jigsaw puzzle is supposed to be inside, everytime i look at it it reminds me of my failure lol, i can just never get myself to do it, i tried it 3 times and got bored quickly.
i just hate the feeling of not having control of my own happiness, and many things that i do i do not find enjoyment in, even playing games which is like my main hobby for a long time, i cant enjoy it much if i do it alone, only with my friend which i hate, i feel like i fucked up my life and i dont really know what to do, its funny how i am in the exact same place kinda 2 years ago, i tried many things, playing the piano, drawing, making video games, boxing, running. i just never found great enjoyment in them and it always felt like chores, not hobbies, honestly the only things that i truly find peace with while i do them and it doesnt feel like a chore is going to the gym and cycling, maybe and other small things. But i just feel like these are not enough, i still have a long day and what ? chatting and hanging out with my friend or girl friend is what really makes me the happiest in my day but i just am afraid that maybe everything would fall apart and i will be alone, i need to prepare myself, i need to be more dependant, to make the relationships healthier, to love myself more, but i just dont know how, many things are super boring, does this maybe have to do with dopamine receptors ? i really dont know, what can i do ? i feel like i know what to do, which is focus on my life aspects like hobbies but I just dont really know how.
any comment would be appreciated, thank you all and have a great day :)

Lala making jokes about sleeping with Schwartz and having that backed up with Lisa is so conniving and disgusting. They are so desperate to manufacture drama and they don't care who gets hurt because of it. Will Lala only be happy when Katie experiences "as bad"of a relationship or feeling as Lala did? Does she think only then Katie will understand Lala's gripe with Ariana?
It's sickening, especially with this shit coming out about Scheana and Schwartz. If I got married to a man who had kissed a friend in our close group, gaslighted me for years about over reacting, and then didn't have the decency to discuss this off camera first so she wouldn't be blind sided. He is disgusting. He is so fucking smug
Lala is only saying she wants to bang Schwartz because she wants to hurt Katie. She doesn't like that Katie remains loyal to Ariana and it's the singular reason she is saying this shit. I don't think Miss Lala remembers how disgustingly he spoke about her and her parenting just a year ago. That's the guy you wanna bang? Ok then.
They are also saying this because they think Katie slept with Max, so anyone is fair game right???? This is a jab to see if Katie will rise to it, just so they can call her out on hypocrisy. I wouldn't be surprised if the conversation about banging Schwartz was contrived and produced by them to retaliate against Katie.

I've done keto before and it worked fine.
But this time, I'm not seeing any difference at all. I'm mixing fasting in with it, so I'll fast a few days (no longer than 2 or 3 days), then eat OMAD on other days- usually a whole block of tempeh, 2 hard-boiled eggs, and an avocado over a big bowl of salad with sugar free dressing or broccoli (note-I'm vegetarian). I'm also short, so I realize it takes more time to notice things happening, but I'm also a little worried I destroyed my metabolism in the past-I had anorexia in my youth and have a habit or doing the most extreme crash diets.
Three whole weeks and nothing has happened. Nothing. Not one goddam pound. Although my sleep is now horrific because my RLS has reared its ugly head just when neurologist and I had it under control-I know this has to do with electrolytes, but no matter how I prepare snake juice or how slowly I drink it, it causes endless runs in the bathroom. My stress levels are very high (just turned in my master's thesis, getting ready to move states to start a PhD program and my mom has cancer), so my stress level is unlikely to change in the forseeable 5+years...or ever if I remain in academia, which is the plan. I don't hard core exercise due to a chronic pain condition, but I do go for walks. I'm hoping once I start losing weight, I'll feel better and be able to exercise more.
I do have PCOS (a hormonal disorder that often causes weight gain and difficulty losing weight) and have been meaning to go see a OB or endocrinologist for a while because my period stopped a year or so ago and its since then that my whole body changed-bad fluid retention as I hardly pee anymore (I used to pee every hour), rapid weight gain etc. I've been putting it off since I'm not trying to conceive and I honestly am not complaining about not having periods anymore-just everything else. But this happened since the last time I did keto. I've been thin most of my life until the past few years- combination of stress, being poor, and I think this PCOS issue.
All my food is either prepackaged- like the tempeh or broccoli or I use a food scale that is calibrated correctly. Our scale is not broken-its working fine for my husband who is doing the same diet and has dropped 40 lbs in less than 3 months (a friend he hadn't seen in a few months asked if he had cancer the other day lol). I'm a biochemist so I know the science-CICO is basic thermodynamics, so if its not working for me, I MUST be missing something.
Anyone having similar problems or advice?

Hey women over 30, I am also a woman over 30 and I need some help/advice/kindness.
some background: i moved around a lot as a kid, have had fairly severe untreated anxiety my whole life as well as regular bouts of severe depression. a lot of trauma from my 20s including being the victim of a violent crime and SA. i have been on pretty much every mental health medication under the sun and to be frank none of them have helped. two years ago i was diagnosed w/ adhd and at first that medicine helped and things seemed good for a few months. i bought a home with my husband and we got married. i love him so much and he is a beacon of light in my life. but then i severely broke my leg and while i was home healing i lost the job i had for ten years. i was a hard worke and had multiple promotions there. so for most of 2023 i was in bed trying to find a job while my company made me stay on to help the replacements in order to recieve my severance. i started walking again but i will have issues with my leg forever. right now that means pain when i walk or stand but it’s not extreme it’s just exhausting. i should mention my husband is in the same industry and has not lost his job yet but it is not feel stable and he is looking with no hits yet. during all of this my mental and physical health continued to decline. my best friend of 12 years ghosted me and my elderly pet died also during this time frame as well as sick parents.
fast forward to now and i just started a well paying job however from the jump i knew there were red flags but i accepted it anyway because with tears in my eyes as i wrote this, i don’t know what else to do. other jobs aren’t calling. i’m worried i’m going to lose my husband or watch my mental health decline further and i don’t know even know what that would look like as i’m already not sleeping or eating. i leave for work crying and i come home crying. i am able to fake it well enough while i’m there that they don’t know what’s going on. they don’t talk to me at all and i’m training myself. the logical part of my brain says i need money, there is never enough money. coming off my injury fully insured with 12k in out of pocket expenses. everything is happening at once and i can’t catch my breath. i don’t know what to do. staying at this job seems like my only option but there is travel involved and this is the aspect of the job i seem to be unable to get over because of how hard it will be for me and my injury and mental health
please be kind i can’t handle anything else right now

Moby has always been a mainstay in house music and electronica in general. And on May 17th, 1999, he released his fifth studio album Play to critical and commercial success, becoming a rare phenomenon in the dance world.

…..but not in the way you would expect. You see, not even Moby thought he would make an impact, and originally intended to retire after that. So what makes his success story so unique? And how did this album become the best selling electronica album of all time? Let’s take a deep dive!

A quick recap into his early career

Throughout the 80s, Moby was involved in multiple underground punk rock bands. At the tail end of the decade, he shifted his interests towards the then-burgeoning electronic music scene, moving to New York City and taking up producing, remixing and DJ-ing as a result. By 1991, his single “Go” became an instant success and propelled him into stardom. For the next few years, he scored multiple dance hits (including a remix of the James Bond theme).

It was in 1996 when he released his album Animal Rights where everything went wrong. His sudden shift to punk and metal inspired music alienated much of his fan base and proved to be a critical and commercial failure, leaving him in a bit of a disarray. By this point, much of his audience began to cast doubts as to who Moby was as an artist, and while he asserted that the stylistic change was only temporary, it didn’t stop them from leaving his side. His own touring was disastrous, and him opening for alt-rock band Soundgarden was met with boos and jeers, prompting him on leaving music altogether. But thanks to artists like Bono, Axl Rose and Terence Trent D'Arby giving positive reactions to his Animal Rights album, he decided to stay a little while longer.

Background

Play's musical direction began around the time Moby's friend, Gregor Ehrlich loaned him a 1993 box set titled "Sounds of the South: A Musical Journey from the Georgia Sea Islands to the Mississippi Delta." by Alan Lomax. In it, a wide collection of folk music recorded throughout the 20th century.
Moby began to work on Play in August 1997, but touring obligations as well as unsatisfactory mixing sessions caused multiple delays. According to Moby's manager, Eric Härle had stated their original goal was to sell 250,000 copies, which was what Everything Is Wrong (1995), Moby's biggest-selling album at the time, had sold. Moby had doubts in achieving that, and many of the labels seemed to agree. Moby lost his outlet to released Play in the US following his removal from Elektra's roster of artists, leaving UK-based Mute Records as his sole label. Looking for US records to distribute was a struggle, with major label records like Warner Bros., Sony and RCA rejecting him. Even after V2 picked up the offer, most of the journalists passed on listening to the album. By March of 1999, two months before release, Moby began contemplating on his future and felt that maybe it's best to just throw in the towel and retire.

Play debuted at number 33 on the UK Albums Chart, but fell off shortly after. In addition, the radio and network airplay the songs received was very minimal. At this point, the goal was to simply get people to listen to the music; for that to happen, Moby and his management had to get really creative. While brainstorming, the team noticed a few agencies flocking to them for permission to use the music as soundbeds. That marked the moment a huge lightbulb went off on everybody's head; there's great potential in using licensing.
Licenses weren’t exactly lucrative but it was an alternate way of exposing listeners to the music rather than just radio. Management team was very diligent in looking for licenses, nevertheless, they took painstaking care of which requests were more appropriate for certain songs. Eventually they succeeded in getting every track on the album licensed, with "7" being the last track to do so.

Singles

Play's rollout consisted of eight singles. I've listed the samples used as well as where the songs are heard. While I listed as many licenses as I could, I tried to keep it within a 5 year timeframe. Forgive me as I know I missed a few but it's tough to find older, obscure commercials.

Honey
After discovering an a cappella song from Lomax's box set, Moby wrote this song in about 10 minutes. The song had minimal radio airplay but still managed to chart in several places including the UK Singles Chart (#33) and Billboard's Dance/Electronic Singles Sales (#95). A remix was later released featuring American R&B artist, Kelis.
Licensed: Permanent Midnight (1998), The 13th Warrior (1999), Maxwell Coffee (1999), Holes (2003),
Samples: Bessie Jones - Sometimes (1960)

Run On
This was one the first Play tracks Moby made. Due to the amount of samples, putting this song together proved to be a major challenge. Sampling the original folk song "God's Gonna Cut You Down" by Bill Landford and the Landfordaires, Moby didn’t know about the song's popularity until after recording it. It’s been covered by many artists including Elvis, Bobbie Gentry and Johnny Cash.
Licensed: Renault Kangoo (199x), Harsh Realm (1999), Mercy Streets (2000), Osmosis Jones (2001),
Samples: Bill Landford and The Landfordaires - Run On For A Long Time (1949), Melvin Bliss - Synthetic Substitution (1973)

Bodyrock
Fun fact: Both of Moby's managers tried to convince him not to include the song on the album, as they thought it sounded too similar to a Fatboy Slim, but he insisted on keeping it as he liked the song for its sample.
Licensed: Dawson's Creek (1998), Rolling Rock Beer (2000), Hype (2000), FIFA 2001 (2000), Buffy The Vampire Slayer (2001), Veronica's Closet theme (2003)
Samples: Spoonie Gee and The Treacherous Three - Love Rap (1980), Gang of Four - What We All Want (1981), Afrika Bambaataa and Soulsonic Force - Looking for the Perfect Beat (1983)

Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad
Moby originally wrote this back in 1992 as a techno song. Unsatisfied with the result, he never released it. Years later, he revisited the song, reproducing it with slower and more sorrowful tone, Eric Härle encouraged him to include it on the album. Kelis also provided vocals on a remix of this track.
Licensed: The Next Best Thing (2000), Millennium Mambo (2001), Lovely Rita (2001), Black Hawk Down trailer (2001), Associaçao Desportiva de Deficientes (2004)
Samples: The Banks Brothers and The Greater Harvest Back Home Choir - He'll Roll Your Burdens Away (1966), Delegate vs. Emo-Trance - Return to Tasmania (1998)

Natural Blues
Music video features Christina Ricci (famous for her Wednesday Addams role)
Licensed: Shadow Hours (2000), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), Joan Of Arcadia (2003), Basic (2003)
Samples: Vera Hall - Trouble So Hard (1937), Coke Escovedo - I Wouldn't Change a Thing (1976), The Banks Brothers and The Greater Harvest Back Home Choir - All the Way (1966)

Porcelain
A standout of the album, it's one of the only songs on the album that Moby sings on.
Licensed: The Beach (2000), Nordstrom 'Doorway' (2000), VW Polo 'Lunchtime' (2000), Bailey's Irish Cream (200x)
Samples: Ernest Gold - Fight for Survival (1961), Electra - Destiny (The Remix)(1989)

South Side
Initially recorded with No Doubt frontwoman Gwen Stefani, production problems forced Moby to leave Stefani's vocals off the mix of the song included on the album; her vocals were later restored for the song's single release.
Licensed: I cant find any :(
Samples: The Counts - What's Up Front That Counts (1971)
Find My Baby
The final single (obviously)
Licensed: Any Given Sunday (1999), Charmed (2000), Nissan Almera II (2000), American Express 'Tiger Woods Plays Manhattan' (2000)
Samples: Boy Blue - Joe Lee's Rock (1960), Louis Bellson, Shelly Manne, Willie Bobo & Paul Humphrey - Super Mellow (1975)

As for the deep cuts (once again, I couldn’t find them all).

Rushing
Licensed: Weather Channel (2000s-2010s)
Samples: n/a

Machete
Licensed: Play It To The Bone (1999), Mission Hill 'Andy Joins The PTA.' (2002)
Samples: Tom Jones - Looking Out My Window (1968), Incredible Bongo Band - Apache (1973)

7
Licensed: unknown
Samples: n/a

Down Slow
Licensed: unknown
Samples: n/a

If Things Were Perfect
Licensed: unknown
Samples: Willie Hutch - Hospital Prelude of Love Theme (1974)

Everloving
Licensed: Requeum For a Dream trailer (2000), Thortons Chocolates ad (200x)
Samples: n/a

Inside
Licensed: Riding Giants (2004)
Samples: n/a

Guitar Flute & String
Licensed: unknown
Samples: n/a

The Sky Is Broken
Licensed: The X-Files 'All Things' (2000) (fun fact: Gillian Anderson hand-picked this song!)
Samples: Creedence Clearwater Revival - Long as I Can See the Light (1970), SMPTE Timecode - Audio Sample (1967)


My Weakness
Licensed: The X-Files 'Closure' (2000), Any Given Sunday (1999), Behind Enemy Lines (2001), The Salton Sea (2002)
Samples: Kanak - Danse Nyinewaco De Tiga (1990)

Conclusion

Play was the breakthrough album Moby needed to break into the mainstream, landing DJ gigs across the world before he even knew it. It was the first album to have all of its tracks licensed. The licensing approach was a resounding success that helped increase the album's visibility along with radio and MTV. In fact, it was so lucrative that the album was already considered a financial success before it even reached multi-platinum sales! Overall, Play's journey to being a cultural phenomenon was a slow but gradual one, with the album re-entering the top 100 charts and have many of its songs hit the charts across multiple countries. Before you knew it, the whole blues-meets-electronica was everywhere (even Adele cited this album as an influence on 25).

Using popular songs for commercial purposes is nothing new but with Play, many viewed this album as redefining the concept of "commercial". Not everybody was on board with this, many techno purists scoffed at his approach for success, seeing Moby as an ultimate sell-out, and his music being devalued as a result. Despite this, Moby remained steadfast in his decisions. Now, 25 years on, with a staggering 12 million sold worldwide, Play still remains the best selling electronica album of all time.

Questions

What was your experience with this album? Did you enjoy it?
Do you feel the push for licensing really changed the game? For better or for worse?
Do you feel this album has any cultural relevance beyond its commercial ubiquity? Why or why not?

I don’t even know where to begin. I just have a lot to say and no one who really has the time to listen. I’ll try to stay vague but our social circles don’t really intermingle and I don’t think I know anyone on here in real life. I can barely remember specific moments or map together periods of time cohesively but I’ll try my best. I used bullet points on my notes app to try to organize the important parts. So if it reads weird or blocky, I apologize.
I hate to admit that I think I still love my baby’s father. That may not even be true. I’m hoping it’s just the drastic hormone changes after having a baby. I don’t want to reconcile or get back together, I just want a genuine opinion from anyone that bothers to read the entire thing or advise from anyone that may have been in a similar situation. It was a very toxic and abusive relationship due to both parties. I toyed with his feelings until it was too late and he would drink and get physical. I was always accusing him of cheating or wanting to cheat because my ex had cheated. Meanwhile I was in fact projecting in a way because I was still messaging said ex. Ex and I were friends before we had dated and were together for 2 years. He had cheated on his other relationships so I should have seen it coming, but he ended up trying to cheat on me and I ended things. I was 19-20 at the time and joined tinder. Experimented a little but ended up hooking up with a guy that had a crush on me in HS. We only hooked up 2-3 times but it started getting weird and I chickened out. Then I got an apartment and a better job and started casually hooking up with the ex again. I think he had a gf at this time but I didn’t ask. At the new job is where I met BD. He started a few weeks after me. I was 20 and he was 28 at the time. We started hanging out after work to smoke. It’s not something I would normally do with just one person and he wasn’t really my type. But the hangouts got longer and more frequent. And I ended up cutting the ex off again. A couple months in, I moved in way too soon because my roommate and I didn’t get along. My ex would still message me occasionally for some reason. He definitely had a gf at this time. Some would be nudes. I didn’t encourage the behavior but I also didn’t discourage it. Bd saw the messages while we were on vacation and was understandably upset. I was upset with myself for responding. I justified it to myself by claiming I was trying to waste his time. In reality he was wasting mine and not suffering in the slightest. There couldn’t have been a worse moment for him to find the messages. The week was supposed to be a huge step in our relationship and I could see how crushed he was. If I were him I would have left me in the hotel states away and gone home that morning. The whole ride home I was sick. I couldn’t imagine how he was feeling, over something I so easily could have avoided and someone I had no interest in romantically or sexually anymore. I believe this is the first time Things got physical but as I said, the timeline is super blurry now. Regardless, if it was the first time, it should’ve been the last. No one should put up with being hit. And No one should feel that their only option is to put their hands on someone. This was when we were finally getting back to his house in our own state. He had picked up a few beers before hand, and that was generally his fuel to either argue or get violent. He had slapped me, choked me and spit in my face, all to which I gave him no reaction. I just sat on the bed silently, or tried to lock myself in the bathroom. He would walk away to smoke a cigarette and immediately come back to fight some more. He told me to pack up my shit but got more pissed off when he came inside to see me packing up my shit. I eventually got a few things packed up and made it to my grandmas’s house. We both calmed down and after a few calls and texts. he wanted to see where I was staying. I picked him up and brought him to my grandma‘s house. (Note: I should probably add that right before we got together. He got in a car accident that totally totaled his car and got a DUI. Since then I had been his ride and always joked That that’s all he kept me around for) We arrived at my grandma’s house, where she had a guestroom ready for me. He just sat on the bed with his head down and cried. He said that it looked like it was so easy for me to move on without him. Looking back, this should’ve been another red flag. All I had was a place to stay after being kicked out. He couldn’t accept that I would land on my feet without him. Most of my belongings were still at his house, and I didn’t want to burden my grandmother any further So I ended up going back with him. At this time I was still apologizing to him for what I had done and how I had made him react. One night after an argument, and a rough day in general. He walked out to grab a case of beer from the gas station and didn’t come back for hours. When I finally went out looking for him, he was at the spot that we had first kissed. There He told me I was holding him back From what he envisioned for his future. It was a lot more drawn out, less cohesive and not so nice (he had been well into his beer by then) but that was the gist of it. One of my biggest fears is being a burden, or anyone holding some secret resentment towards me. Him drinking only let me know how he truly felt and how he wanted to react. I could never put the same effort into the relationship after that. I felt like it was already over and had been over for a long time. A while later, he had seen that my ex reached out again nothing flirtatious this time, but he was still upset, understandably. He got violent again, and I locked myself in the bathroom. He took my keys and my phone and said he was going to go find him. I packed up a few things again and tried to walk over to my dad‘s house. His mission was futile and he ended up finding me walking and brought me back home. The whole night was tense and I didn’t feel safe in the morning before he woke up. I started quietly packing up my things. He woke up and immediately flew into a rage and started dumping my things out onto the ground. I called my mom to help me get out all the big things because I wanted to be all out in one trip. As I was leaving, he was screaming at my mother and I about how much a piece of shit I was, but was right back to begging for me back as soon as I was down the road. This was a reoccurring cycle for us. I’d always keep my phone and keys together in a designated spot in the house so I could get them quickly if I needed to leave. The ex no longer reached out, but we were both still suspicious of one another. Sometimes I would be gone for days sometimes weeks my belongings no longer came back because it didn’t feel like home anymore. It didn’t Feel like a safe or stable place for me. This also made him upset. Every time I would leave we would still text every day. It was an extremely toxic situation. During one period of time that i was gone He had one of our coworkers over for about a week sleeping in my bed with my cats. Throughout our entire relationship and our brakes I never met up with another person. I did leave so I didn’t have the right to be too upset. But He wasted no time having her over for an extended period of time while still begging for me to come back every day. Then I had to coax this information out of him after finding her clothes all over the house. I couldn’t get over the feeling that he had her and others lined up for when I was gone and him wanting me back meant nothing. By this time the dude I had gone to school/hooked up with had started at our job (This would seem like a cruel joke but we were in the same trade and this was one of the only decent jobs in our town.) I guess we had had a silent mutual agreement to keep out past between us because they became friends. Well, After finding out about his coworker, I told him about mine. It didn’t matter that the dates didn’t overlap. He went nutts. I don’t remember exactly how it all went down after that, but I left of course and he ended up going to this 20 year olds apartment. His roommate answered and BD demanded to know where this dude was and ends up slapping the roommate. (I have no idea why I kept going back. Typing this out, I feel so stupid. He was clearly fucking crazy and my brain was telling me to get the fuck out.) I was already suspicious of him because of how we both acted before we got together, but all of this just made it so much worse. I wanted to know why he felt the need to intimidate me into staying with him and calling it “crazy love” when he could so easily move on and leave me alone. (Why did infidelity have to be the dealbreaker and not everything else?) Bringing up my suspicions or insecurities, just made him defensive and occasionally violent. I never got any reassurance and my reasons for staying were few and far between. Then we found out I was pregnant. We found out when I was about seven weeks pregnant. The last time we had gotten into a physical fight I had been about 4 to 5 weeks pregnant. I was scared. Bd seemed happy. He said he wanted to be a family. Over the next few weeks, I was having extremely bad morning sickness I was in and out of the hospital on an IV for fluids and couldn’t leave our bedroom or bathroom. I still had to drive him to and from work which was only about 30 min round trip but I’d always have to stop on the side of the road to puke. (Note: There were five cats living in this house that I was Feeding and cleaning up after. We inherited two from the homeowner and three were ours) The house started to smell because I could no longer keep up with the cats, and this just made my morning sickness even worse. On top of this, I was having extremely bad back pain that I thought was just a symptom of pregnancy. After one of my trips to the hospital for fluids, they informed me that I had a UTI. I was about 10-11 weeks pregnant by then. I tried to tell him that I needed help with the house and that it was making me miserable. He just expressed that I would be complaining regardless. Whether it be about him spending enough time with me, helping clean, or working. This wasn’t even the worst of the treatment that I had received, but being pregnant, This was the last straw. I knew I couldn’t bring a baby into the abusive cycle that we were putting each other through. I don’t remember exactly how it happened. At this point I was looking for any reason to leave. But it happened and again I started packing up my shit. This time he barely put up a fight. He tried to dump my stuff out on the floor once, but I said if he tried to put his hands on me, I’d call the police this time. He sat in the kitchen on his phone until I was done packing. As I was carrying my belongings out to my car still weak and sick, we were screaming back-and-forth about how much we hated each other, and how I would never give him the chance to put his hands on my child. He shouted that he didn’t think the baby was even his, to which I replied, “Good, then I’ll never have to fight you in court”. That was our last face to face interaction. I filed for a civil protection order. It’s been about a year and since then, he has been claiming to his coworkers and his mother that my ex is the father. His mother doesn’t seem to believe him as she had kept in contact with me throughout my pregnancy, and since the baby’s been born. She requests a paternity test just to be sure, but I have no doubts that the baby is his. I am almost positive that he knows the baby is his too. His claims of me cheating are only his way of justifying me leaving and making it my fault. I sent her the information to reach out for a paternity test, but she hasn’t shown me any indication that he wants to be part of the baby’s life. Any time she brings up the situation to him, he gets angry with her and hangs up. I don’t know what’s going on in his life and I don’t want to. I’d only obsess over it and make myself upset if I did. I assume he’s living his dream and chasing his goals without me there to hold him back, especially with a child. Even after typing all this out and rereading and editing, I still miss him. I shouldn’t. I can’t tell if it’s the cycle calling me back or the drastic changes in hormones. I can’t even think of a reason that I should miss him. I don’t even think I miss him, just his presence or energy? It’s so hard to explain and I don’t want to feel this way. I have nightmares about trying to get away from him and out of the house but try to force myself back into the same dream just so I can see him. Is this normal? Do any other moms feel this way? Only attracted to the baby’s father even while split up? I have no sex drive when I used to be a fiend. I heard this can be a side-effect of the drastic hormone changes, but I don’t even feel an attraction anymore. Unless they’re a very specific type (My BD). I have no desire to move on or find a romantic connection. I do more harm than good and I’d rather focus on being a mom (which I’m loving aside from this issue).I know there’s no way of going back even if I wanted to. The damage has been more than done. I just want to make moving on easier and forget him. Do I just have to wait?

I'm 20F, and my 21M boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We are currently in a long-distance relationship because of our jobs. He always cared for me, did everything for me, and was always there when I needed him. However, he has anger issues, and when I don’t do something immediately that he tells me to do, he cusses, yells, and calls me, demanding that I make it better.
For example, I was out with friends after work and didn’t tell him that I had arrived at the restaurant where we planned to eat. He called me, cussing and yelling, which stressed me out to the point of tears. One of my friends texted him, explaining that I just forgot to tell him and that he should relax. Later that day, he made me apologize for my friend getting involved in our business.
This has happened many times. He always tells me that he cares a lot and doesn’t want anything to happen to me. I feel like I can’t do anything without overthinking whether I have informed him about everything he wants to know. I tried to talk to him about how it stresses me out and makes me
scared that he will cuss at me and hurt me. He said that if I listened completely, he wouldn’t need to cuss or yell at me. He controls who I follow, what I wear, who I can be friends with, and much more.
One day, I couldn’t tell him that I went to eat with friends because I lost internet access at work. I got internet when I arrived at the restaurant, and he was really mad, started cussing, and called me names. I started crying, so my friends answered the phone when he called, and they argued. Later that day, he told me I need to get rid of my friends because they disrespected him. He said I could always make new friends. He doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore and broke up with me, saying the only way we could continue is if I got rid of them all.
I really love him, but losing my friends would hurt me. Since we don’t live in the same city, I would have no one. I don’t want to lose him or my friends; they both matter to me. Should I delete my friends for him?

I am in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way back, I'm almost certain of that. He's an ENFP with avoidant attachment, if that helps.
I haven't told him because he's a good friend of mine and he doesnt seem to show me much attention or affection anymore, or go out of his way to see me, or anything like that. Even though he used to, but after we had sex a few months ago, he relapsed (hes an alcoholic) and ended up in hospital, and now he's gone cold on me, which makes sense, he's probably afraid he will relapse again and somehow I triggered that in him. I guess I remind him of the past. We've been friends for over seven years now.
I feel like I should tell him, but I'm so afraid to tell him that it's unbelievable. Also I I know I could potentially ruin the friendship, and its selfish because he is still struggling with his addiction. So I just don't know what to do. But internally it's like I need to do something with the way I feel, I can't just let it fester or I will explode.
Our connection is special and it is strong. I believe I am genuinely in love with him. I am not even interested in other men, which is not healthy because I'm stopping myself from potentially meeting someone who might be good for me.
I don't know what to do. I'm almost bursting with desire and feelings towards him that it's driving me insane. What we experienced together was so special and its killing me that he doesnt seem to reciprocate anymore. I have never experienced intimacy like that before. I know he felt something towards me. The way he looked at me was loving. It was full of love. So why has he gone cold.
But I can barely hold onto it anymore. It's like I have to tell him, but he's so busy and rarely sees my messages, so I feel pathetic. I even told him I missed him and he said he missed me too and that was it. The ball is constantly in his court but he doesn't act on it. He could easily tell me he wants to catch up, but he doesn't. So that shows me that he doesn't feel the same way.
What do I do? I feel like I should either ghost him completely, so I can move on, or rock up to his house at midnight unnannounced, telling him I'm in love with him... but neither of those options sound healthy or smart.

A bit of context. My (22f) boyfriend (22m) and I got together at the end of 2022, and admittedly it wasn't a great start. This was two years ago and I have learned a lot since then so please don't judge me. He had just joined the hospitality job that I was working at at the time, and we became fast friends. It didn't take long for us to get quite close when I realised that he wasn't bringing his girlfriend up much in conversation. I would try to ask questions about her and he would just give short answers and quickly move on. Eventually, I confronted him about it and he told me that he had fallen out of love with her months ago, but because he had moved across the country for her he didn't have anywhere else to stay if they broke up. I offered my couch, mainly because I had just recently been in a situation where I couldn't leave an abusive relationship for months because of housing issues so I empathised a lot. After he decided that he was going to break up with her, our friendship took a bit of a turn and things became a bit flirty. Please don't hate me for this, I regret it a lot and I feel so horrible for his girlfriend at the time. Anyway, it was all very subtle flirting and at one point I set boundaries about what we were saying because he was still in a relationship and I was uncomfortable with where it was going. He would occasionally push those boundaries, and at one point he said that he hated how much of a 'good person' I was because he wanted to say so much more.
Anyway, we kept those boundaries up until one day he messaged me and asked if I was able to help him move his stuff that night because he was going to break up with his girlfriend. From what I know, he spent all day packing and she came home to boxes and him sitting on the bed waiting for her. They've talked about it since and he regrets how callous this breakup was. Anyway, I swung by, he loaded his stuff into my car, and we left.
He stayed at mine for a bit and spent about two weeks crashing at other people's places before I just offered my place up indefinitely. By that point, he was not sleeping on the couch. We weren't officially together until about two months later but we definitely moved very quickly all things considered.
Anyway, it's been about two years since then. We've lived together the entire time and have both learned a lot about relationships - though we definitely still have room to grow. Overall, we are both very happy and we're in a pretty good spot.
Now some other context, my partner has always had mostly female friends. In most pictures that I've seen of him as a kid he is in a group of girls, and he himself is not extremely masculine by his own admission. However, also by his own admission, he has a flirty personality, and he makes flirty jokes to both men and women. He also struggles to make friends a little bit, so he tends to cling to the ones that he has. Keep these things in mind moving forward.
My feelings of insecurity or jealousy started around mid-last year when he showed me that he had swiped up on a female friend's risky Instagram story of her in lingerie with some sort of flirty joke. It made me feel super icky but I didn't know what to do so I just smiled and said nothing. Then, in October at a Halloween party, we were pairing off for beer pong and he immediately turned to and partnered with that same girl when I was sitting right next to him and turned straight to him. That broke my heart a bit. He went out one-on-one with a female coworker to a cocktail bar after work for drinks, where they both got drunk but she got absolutely wasted so he walked her home. He was also mostly MIA on messages through this event. He's also told me some flirty jokes that he's made to his female coworkers that just give me the ick a bit. All of these situations we've had conversations about and mostly resolved, but I think it's informing the way that I feel now.
Here is my problem. We have a really great relationship and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I can't shake this feeling of insecurity and jealousy which I can't help but feel like is because of the way that we got together. I can also admit that I am a fairly insecure person and I have pretty low self-confidence which I'm sure is absolutely having an impact on this. It's to a point now where every time he goes out for coffee with a female friend or even just to work I get a twisting feeling in my tummy, and I've had a strong urge to go through his messages. To be completely clear, though, I have not touched his phone or messages, and I have not given him any indication that I am feeling insecure about him just going to work or anything like that. This isn't the kind of person that I am and I feel horrific that I am becoming so jealous.
He has always had female friends, so it is absolutely off the cards for that to just be a boundary, and we've talked about his flirty personality before but it's a hard thing to define and set boundaries around. I genuinely don't think that he is cheating as I don't really think he would have the time, plus our relationship is going well. I'm hoping for genuine advice about either how to approach this or how to check myself. I'd rather not hear "just break up with him".
Thank you for reading!

I have a friend who is on a Asylum seeker visa with a work permit. Her work permit only allows her to work i a care homes or hospital. She has been working in a NHS hospital over a year now they refuse to give her permanent position because of her visa status And couple of days ago she got hurt while working and her hand was pretty banged up. Instead of giving her a first aid or a filling out an accident report her manager told her u can go home but you won’t get paid for the day. By then she had already work half a shift for the day, she continued working in a fear of not getting paid. She got home put ice on the swollen wound all night, today she went to Emergency and got it scanned because i forced her to incase she had fractured her bones and she went to work. Her manager came to see her today and told her they will not fill out accident report because it’s a lengthy process. The audacity, like i know its not legal to not report a work accident and you have to fill out an accident report form. Not just that he also told her, if anyone asks what happened to her hand to tell them she got injured elsewhere not at work.
I want to help my friend because i feel this is not fair and not right how she is being treated and I am telling her to file a complaint with HR but she is afraid that she will lose a job and she will have to leave UK because of her visa type.
Can anyone please suggest me what should we do in this case.

Hi all, my dear friend and neighbour lost his young wife in a tragic accident a few months ago. They were new to the country, and because they didn’t have a credit score & were short on time, agreed to a deal where they pay rent six months in advance (and agreed to a two year lease, starting September ‘23). They rent the place for £3k (2 bed 2 bath by the Arsenal stadium), and paid the latest installment of 6 months rent in March (£18k!). His wife passed away at the end of March and he obviously wants to move out of the place asap and move back to his home country. He asked the landlord to cancel the lease given the unfortunate circumstances, the landlord agreed to but: A) only if he’s able to get someone who’ll pay £3k or more. B) if not, then my friend has to cover the difference in rent till £2025 September! This seems insane.
He’s able to find people to take up the place for £2700 (which is probably a fair price for the place), but just wondering if there’s something he can do about it. The landlord / agent have been no help in finding a new tenant, and my friend has deal with his wife’s bereavement while also finding new tenants in a country he’s still new to.
Is there anything that can be done to help his situation??

I’m sort of dealing with a dilemma at the moment. I (23F) have intensive intrusive thoughts that I might be lesbian. I have a bf (22M) of about 8 months. About 2 years ago, these thoughts came in the form of being queer and not straight. I looked around at my mostly queer friends, the pop culture media I consumed, and my strong allyship feelings and I concluded it all stemmed from being queer. It was such a violent experience. My mind was constantly racing and testing out if I found who attractive. It felt like OCD. I eventually got tired of the constant rumination and settled on queer. The thoughts didn’t feel like myself. It felt like I was succumbing to something else telling me who I am. While I’ve never had a crush on a girl, I knew that just identifying as queer might help me settle the noise.
Fast forward to today. I currently have a bf. Now I’m questioning if I’m lesbian. Not because I don’t feel fulfilled in my relationship or I’m unattracted to him, but it feels like my brain is telling me that I am. I’ve read the master doc many times in which every time I think to myself “yeah this isn’t me”. But I noticed I started using the doc as comfort to settle my intrusive thoughts to the point where I felt like I needed to read it to feel regular. I would read it, not relate to it, feel better, start randomly having anxiety again later, read it again and the cycle continues. It has been to the point where I feel like I can’t be fully present in our relationship bc I’m afraid of this being true. I go back into my deep memories of childhood and try to analyze if that was a gay experience. My conclusion changes based on the day. I will say, I’ve always had a fascination for the female body. I’ve had physical feelings for them that I couldn’t explain from a very young age. I’ve had one experience with a girl where I danced with her at a club and it honestly felt the same way as dancing with a guy. I had fun. My type in men has always been interesting. A lot of them have been gay or unavailable. I’ve also had an experience with a gay guy friend from college where he would cuddle me at night and touch me in sensual places which caused me physical sensations. Since this was my first time that another person touched me in that sort of way, it was an intense experience. I never had a full on crush on him or wanted to date him, but I knew he had a hold of me in some ways. I dont think he knew what he was doing, but they are now more genderfliud and use they/them pronouns. My attraction to gay or unavailable men was one that I found interesting. I thought stemmed from me being insecure about being one of the only POC in my school and never getting picked. No one ever flirted with me or showed any interested in me. I didn’t feel attractive and never felt worthy enough to be in a relationship. Going as so far as to accepting that I would be alone in my future. People would ask me “why don’t you have a bf” and I never had an answer to that. So I thought if I just pretended to be ok with it, I would feel more in control in my circumstances. I’ve grown more confident over the years. I’ve gotten more attention, but mostly from men in bars or dating apps. However, once I made it upon my self to actually try to be open and recognize that I’m worthy of being loved, I met my bf. Who is not gay and was very available at the time.
As far as my relationship, I love being intimate with him. In fact, I find myself craving his body whenever I’m around him. He’s my first bf so this is the closest I’ve ever been with someone sexually. I’ve never had a problem of dissociating during the act or not enjoying it or having to imagine someone else to get there. It’s all been very enjoyable. I imagine us getting married all the time. I get excited about our future together. However with this, it’s hard to do without feeling guilty. We get along really well and talk about our future together. Besides my intrusive thoughts, I’ve been engaged in our relationship.
Which is what makes it hard. Whenever I feel something my brain is like “what if you don’t feel it?” Almost as if to question my very real thoughts and feelings and accuse them of being fake. It’s weird. I have a therapist that said I might have OCD bc of how debilitating these thoughts are to my day to day. I told my bf about last night through a letter and he told me he had a million questions. I don’t want this to end my relationship.