Am I the ahole? It’s a bit long and I will try to be directly to the point.
FYI. I’m 43f and all of these guys are in their 50s. Jim is early 30s. Not children.
My “boss” said (let’s call him Mike) I say that reluctantly because he considers me his best friend and I don’t. It’s a construction company paper management so we don’t do the actual labor it’s all subbed out.
We have 1 big client basically. And on my end the accounting side there system is so screwed up. It’s always a big thing to work out. My contact there, let’s call him Jim. I don’t know personally, we just email. All professional. I’m bubbly on emails “hope you stay dry! Enjoy your weekend”. His boss our liaison( Dick) if you want to call that. Well he’s a drunk, like has come into our office on a Tuesday drunk as a skunk, I know he cheats on his wife, takes bribes. Probably about 10k a year just from us alone. I’m sure from all of his vendors also.
Well anyway, I have spoken to Tom 3 times in the last two years. I looked up my phone records. Always short and cordial, the only reason I call him is when there is a big f up on his end, and I don’t want a paper trail so he doesn’t get in trouble. In the last 4 years they have told Mike that I am a bitch and rude to them. That I know of. The other day Mike told me they said that, oh and I’m not allowed to talk to Jim again.
Back story: Mike left his old company that I worked at in 2020. He started his own business, and I went with him. Now when I say this guy can be drama. He is. I’ve always had his back. Acted for years as his therapist. In the last year. Found out he’s a raging alcoholic he just hid it well. Like taking out a separate cc to hide his booze on spent 3k in Feb on it. November he decided he was gonna go to rehab. Who had to help organize that? Me And keep the business running while he was gone. Me. Leaves two weeks later. Goes back to drinking. He cheats on his wife, she finds out. 3 months of hell with him being a drunk his kids hating him his wife leaving him. Bought a Tesla crashed it within a week. DUIs. All sorts of crap. At this point I stay to make sure the wife has money so she can feed his kids. Like I even helped his son write college essays. That’s how well I know these people.
My point is, I have always had his back and gone above and beyond to help him. I asked him, well did you stand up for me? What did you say when they told you that? He said nothing, 1 because he didn’t want to. 2 they are his clients. 3 this is construction. I ripped him a new one. I Basically said if I don’t have an apology from Eric by 5pm on Monday I quit.
He keeps crying that I can’t leave him and he will lose the business if he does. And I said well maybe you should have thought of that before you let people talk bs about me.
Some points, I’m semi retired. I work because I like working. I don’t need the money. I value self respect. And I made sure he knew that.
Am I blowing this out of proportion?
AITAH?

I (18 F) live with my husband who’s in the Navy (19 M). When he was in training, he had a roommate who I’m gonna call Eric (20 M). He got his orders a few months back so we moved and what do you know, Eric gets the same orders too. Same EXACT orders. Same city, same ship, same birthing (where they sleep), same job, same job level (job and job level are two different things), same everything; meaning they were gonna be stuck together for the next five years.
Now I haven’t ever had a problem with Eric. As far as I knew, he pretty much just kept to himself and played video games. I knew he had a wife, but I didn’t know much about her initially, never really heard about her until Eric started coming to our apartment to hang out.
It’s important to note that he got married while he was in A-School so his BAH didn’t process for months, meaning he was legally required to live on the ship until his BAH kicked in. Because of this, his wife who we’ll call Diane (19 F) couldn’t move here to live with him yet.
During the first two and a half months here, Eric would occasionally come over and spend the night. One of the times he was at our place, he gave me Diane’s Snapchat because I had mentioned that I wasn’t good at making friends and was worried I’d be lonely. For anyone who doesn’t know, companionship of some kind is crucial when your spouse goes on deployment as it can get extremely lonely and make you feel isolated. Even if it’s just a dog, you need to have support.
Diane texted me first, introducing herself and asking about things I liked, hobbies, pets, family, etc. We seemed to have a lot in common and I quickly became an outlet for her when Eric and her fought (which was frequently because he was unloyal). I didn’t mind being an outlet for her and was even thrilled she trusted me enough so soon to open up like she did.
We ended up growing close in a short amount of time. So much so, that when she was visiting for their anniversary, I’m the one that picked her up from the airport and I even let her stay at our place. That visit ended up bringing us even closer because I had to spend the whole night nursing her back to health after she got black out drunk and threw up all over my whole bathroom..and I mean the WHOLE bathroom.
About a month and a half after her visit, BAH kicked in and she moved up here and into an apartment with Eric. They invited us over to watch the solar eclipse and have dinner and we ended up spending the night there.
That was just the start to a shit ton of nights spent at her place. From that point on, we have spent damn near every day at their place. Ik you might be wondering how the hell she could even begin to look fake but just hear me out.
Both Eric and my husband (who I’ll call Nick) work the same shift. The night shift. Before Diane moved here, I was used to spending nights alone as Nick had to sleep/ work on the ship frequently but she was scared to be home alone so being a good friend, I went to her place for the night. This became a recurring thing. We have three cats at home so I’d have to remind Nick to stop at our place to feed them, give them water, and change their litter after work every day. The bare minimum amount of care they needed, which made me feel extremely guilty.
Soon, we barely spent any time at our own apartment, which really bothered me because we pay to live there and literally have pets. As time went on, Diane seemed to get more comfortable and by comfortable, I mean rude.
I have a spitfire personality. Diane claims she mirrors other personalities, but in this case, she multiplies it by ten then gives it back. Soon, every time I started to speak, she started mocking me or making the stankest face. Normally things like that don’t bother me, but it was nonstop.
Eventually, I got fed up with being a bum ass mom to my cats and said we needed to spend more time at home, to which Nick agreed. I told Diane that I felt she avoided my place and to show me I was wrong, she reluctantly agreed to spend the night at my place this time. It lasted all of about four hours before she went home since her two dogs barked nonstop the whole time she was gone.
From that point on, she had an excuse (the dogs) but also refused anything I suggested to prevent barking. For example, let one free roam and out the other in a room. Nothing I suggested was good enough for her. Either way though, Nick and I stuck to our word and stayed at our own place.
Today we went out to the aquarium. Any time I would give my phone to Nick to take a pic of me, she’d shove her own phone in Eric’s hand and run to the spot and start posing. And no. She wasn’t trying to take a pic with me. She was simply trying to beat me to it. She did it pretty much the entire time.
After, we went on a double date to a steakhouse and the way she spoke to me felt very belittling. It’s important to note that I have a passion about everything space and took a course in college on it with the intention of eventually getting my degree in general Astronomy.
While we were at dinner she started asking me basic space knowledge thinking I was going to get the answers wrong. By the way, she is fully aware of the extent of my knowledge. One of the questions was “can you even name all the planets?”. The way she asked was condescending and Nick could tell I was beginning to get offended though it was clear that Diane had no clue.
After dinner, we were all supposed to go back to our place to hang out but she found another excuse not to. After her excuse, I decided I needed space from her but still haven’t told her. She has extremely selfish tendencies, has a know-it-all type of attitude (I have never heard her admit being wrong even when she clearly was), and treats me like I’m either below her or just dumb, depending on the day.
She constantly comments on the things I eat (normally leftovers that were kept in the fridge) saying I’m disgusting and making jokes about it to Eric. She laughs like it’s all in good fun but it’s extremely passive aggressive.
I can’t completely stop being friends since our husbands work together and don’t want to have issues with one another for the next five years but I’m not sure how long I can tolerate the constant one sided battle for.

Hi all,
Not at all looking for medical advice for our cat, just any advice regarding elderly cats.
I have an 18 year old cat that has been having some health issues and I am having a difficult time coping with the fact that he is not immortal. I am wondering if this is a normal feeling and just looking for anecdotes that may be helpful. I feel like a child even asking this tbh because obviously our bodies are all mortal but, idk maybe I’m just not emotionally prepared…
Quick back story. I was not raised with pets. I was never even much of a cat guy. I got married 4 years ago and bundled with my wife was this 14 year old, feisty, big ol’ Maine coon mix cat named Max. My wife and I did not live together before we got married (we got married 6 months after we met), I had only been over a handful of times and Max was usually being a cat and doing his own thing, so I effectively did not meet him until we moved into our apartment after our wedding day. I was a little reluctant at first because I haven’t spend much time around cats but it wasn’t long before we became best buds. I work from home so I spend all day with the guy, he’ll randomly come bump my leg, I’ll come over and rub his belly and he purs and rubs his face against my chin, he runs to the fridge everytime I open it, if I am eating anything with a wrapper that remotely sounds like treats he comes running; these things have become my daily routine. I haven’t spent a night away from him in 4 years, we don’t get out much lol.
Recently, we’ve had to bring him into the vet a few times for some things. This week, for example, he has been constipated and we are bringing him to the vet tomorrow (we brought him in on Tuesday as well) and I’m just getting very sad about it. For many reasons, the biggest thing being that he is in pain/uncomfortable and I have limited things I can do about it.
I am having a very difficult time dealing with this, I am getting emotional and crying randomly while I’m working, running errands, or at the gym. My wife has had him since she was 10 years old, she is deeply upset and sad and crying about this too because he’s just not the same cat he was even 6 months ago, atleast physically.
just wondering if anyone had any good resources, stories, encouraging words, or anything! I don’t often use Reddit but am having a hard time sleeping thinking about all of this.
Sorry if this isn’t an appropriate place to ask this question as it’s more about cat owner advice. For keeping Max comfortable and healthy we are listening to our vet but if you have tips/tricks to offer for taking care of an elderly cat feel free to share as well.

**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwaway151702
Slight chance my (39M) pregnant wife (38F) had an affair, should I ask for a paternity test or wait?
Originally posted to relationship_advice
TRIGGER WARNING: possible infidelity, fertility issues
Original Post May 9, 2024
My wife (38F) and I (39M) have been together for 12 years. I don't know how to describe it other than calling it the perfect relationship. I think in 12 years we've only ever gotten to the point of really raising our voices at one another maybe 2 or 3 times? We do everything together but always have never had issues allowing each other to lead our own lives and follow our own interests. We bought a house where we wanted.... we both have good high paying jobs that have great work life balance. Basically it's been everything short of perfect.
We've been trying for 2 years to get pregnant and it hadn't been happening. We were just about to start the fertility stuff when I came home from a work trip, and guess what she's pregnant. I had this weird instant thought of.... Wait I thought we didn't try during the week last month because of the fertility testing... But I couldn't remember exactly because to be honest... We were busy at it. So I just assumed I miss remembered.
Now, I travel around the country pretty regularly for work. Other than COVID, I've been on the road as much as 40 weeks a year sometimes. Since COVID its been less but still more than a week a month.
Over the last 4-5 years my wife has gotten very friendly with a guy she works with, let's call him Matt. Matt is slightly younger, I think 34M or so. I know him, he's married, I know his wife. They've worked together for I think 7 years or so. He's always been around, him and I have been friendly. Have I ever thought something was happening? No, but I've always thought.... You'd be a fool to not think there's even a 1% chance your spouse would go outside the relationship. Maybe I'm naive, but I've always seen it as a safeguard to not take my wife or any other partner in the past for granted. She's never given me a reason to think she'd do that. But anything is possible.
So about a month ago I'm out of state for work and she's at home. I ask her what she's doing earlier in the day and she says Matt is coming by for dinner. Not out of the ordinary, Matt comes by from time to time. Sometimes with his wife, sometimes without, sometimes when I'm not there. I don't think much of it.
We have a security system which includes cameras both inside and outside of the house which we installed after an unrelated incident a few years ago. They record and are live accessable by both her and I. I often use those cameras to check on the dog when I or both of us are away, as the rest of the system is monitored by a company Incase of an alarm going off.
She knows I check those cameras, there's a system installed where I can talk through them. I'll mess with my wife and she will with me on them if either of us are out of town (she travels for work as well, but far less than I do). Point is, it's known that I check them often when I'm not at home.
So I turn on the camera and I see my 4 months pregnant wife, lying on the floor, on her side with Matt sitting, straddling her legs and using a foam roller to message her hips. So I'm like.... Ok... What the fuck is this. I start rewinding through the footage and they are eating and talking normally, but then they get on the couch and get under the same blanket. Now...... They are feet to feet, but that couch isn't that big. Then they move to the floor and that's when I logged in.
Anyway I text her, I'm still watching the cameras they both look like deer in headlights and he very quickly leaves. We get into an argument she isn't mad at me accusing her but she's adamant that nothing has or ever would happen, and that what I saw was innocent and she was complaining about being in pain from the pregnancy.... Which I know is true shes already having some issues with back pain etc.. The biggest point of that discussion was I asked "If I were there would you two have been comfortable doing any of that Infront of me" and she reluctantly admitted... No probably not. I told her I didn't want to talk after that and we'd talk when I got home 3 days later.
That's when It hit me..... What if my weird gut moment feeling about her telling me she was finally pregnant, was... This. What if my 1% happened and this is not my child we are having?
Now, it eats away at my while I'm at a hotel alone a thousand miles away for 3 days. I reconcile with myself that... I think it's less likely than more likely that something between them has happened. But Basically my 1% just jumped to.... 10% 20% maybe?
I get home and she's on eggshells and doesn't mention it. I kinda wait to see what she's going to do. 2 days later she finally brings it up and breaks down. Swears nothing has happened she would never. Doesn't do anything over the top to try and prove anything... Which I took as a good sign. But anyway we talk out the issue and everything to a point of at least moving forward for now. I'm still coping and dealing with it figuring out how to re trust after all this time.
I'm getting more and more understanding of the fact that they are friends they've been friends for so long, maybe he has intentions.... But I don't see her having any and I've never really picked up on it and I've spent time around both of them together many many times, and never caught anything.
So the thing that is destroying me right now is.... If I'm wrong and something did happen... While I can figure out how to deal with that... What if that child isn't mine. In the argument and few long conversations we've had about the situation since I've never brought that up, and she's not mentioned it. Mostly because I don't want to make the situation worse and crush her if infact she's telling the truth, which I mostly Believe.
The only thing I can think to do at this point is to wait until the baby is born and immediately order a paternity test in secret. Should I do that? Should I tell her and have it dealt with now? If you're a woman in her shoes and you're telling the truth, would that destroy you, or your view of me? If you're lying what would you do if I asked? I don't want to ask a super vague question but..... What do I do?!
TLDR: very small chance my wife of 12yrs had an affair and she's 4 months pregnant and I can't bring myself to ask for a paternity test for fear of crushing her if nothing actually happened. But I am planning on doing it in secret when the baby comes. What do I do?
Update: Soo many comments. Thank you everyone more than I can address directly but I'm going to keep reading a few things.
1 stop DMing me about this, thanks.
2 some have made some good points about addressing it now rather than later and that's something that I'm considering more than I was before, thank you.
3 to those focused only on my relationship. I get it but that's not what I'm focused on. We've been talking about it a lot. My wife and I are pretty open people with each other. I'm not saying I'm convinced nothing happened but I'm more focused on paternity right now.
4 if I need to track, spy on, life360, my wife. Then this relationship is over already. That's not the relationship we have and not one that I ever want, and in my opinion not one anyone should ever have. We are working on rebuilding trust. As I said in this long winded post my default of 1% possibility went up to 10% or so. Trust me I'm taking my relationship seriously but to those I've said this to already. If the kid isn't mine, then there's no longer any conversation to have.
5 I've already had this discussion with my lawyer, I don't live in a state where the birth certificate stuff will be an issue. If I have paperwork that this child isn't mine than divorce isn't going to be much of an issue. Both of us are in an independent financial situation where it won't matter much regardless.
I'll keep up with this post as long as I can and post an update when and if anything gets resolved.
Update May 10, 2024
Update: Slight chance my (39M) pregnant wife (38F) had an affair, should I ask for a paternity test or wait?
Here's the original post from yesterday.
https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/s/CphGAU9Tsm
So she was out of state on a business trip until late last night. It's Friday so she worked from home in our kitchen. So I asked to talk and brought it up and asked for a test.
She immediately said yes and said there's zero doubt and nothing that she'd even have a second to worry about. But she has no problem doing it now. The only caveat I left it with is. If it's invasive at all per our doctors then I'm ok waiting until it's low risk. (I'm not a doctor, no clue what they'd have to do to do it now)
So not sure when we are. But she's aware and we are getting one. It was a decent and longer conversation. We are currently sitting together getting lunch. She's got no clue I did this on Reddit. Hence the new account because she is on here somewhere.
Thank you everyone for your help and opinions, a bunch of you made me realize that we are already really open about everything and if nothing happened then she wouldn't worry about getting one.
I was more worried about her health and adding some insane level of stress if it was an issue as she's an at risk pregnancy and it took soooooo long for us to get pregnant.
So again thank you all for the help. I suppose I can update if it's mine or not but I'm not sure how long that will be. I'm... 90-95% sure it is mine. But this will help us continue this conversation.
Thank you.
Update: just because it seems to be more of a topic on this post vs the other one for some reason.... Yes I have the footage. No I haven't talked to Matt yet. He's told her he wants to talk about it but I've told them to wait on that. My relationship with my wife and the paternity is what's important right now. I will eventually talk with Matt.
No I'm not going to get Matt's wife involved intentionally. I don't know why I would other to just be vindictive. I'm not going to cover for him obviously but his relationship is his. And mine is mine. I'm not interested in making this worse. Whatever is going on between him and his wife isn't any of my business.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP when asked why his wife thought she could be intimate with someone else

We've talked about it at length nothing is being ignored. I could write you an essay about our past, her reasons and my feelings on it. But instead I'll just say. I'm aware of it. She's claiming innocence of anything further but at the same time admitting that it wasn't a good look but she wasn't thinking about it at the time. And that's what we are currently working through.

When told it doesnt look innocent and asked if his wife goes to Matt's house when his wife isn't home

She's 4 months. I was home. And we had been on the clock..... To the point of the days blending together, trust me.
We are pretty open people and pretty comfortable with ourselves and each other. I don't know if she's been to his house without his wife. I mean the 3 and 4 of us all hang out probably once or twice a month but they work directly together everyday and have for years. So obviously there's a closeness there. They are both upper management in their company. And at my company I have long term friends that are women. I've traveled with them we've done dinner and hung out in hotel rooms together. But I've never done anything because, that's not me. I'm married and love my wife and my life. I have no reason to.
So I mean the optics are bad. I just have to decide if it's only the optics. Or if she has a reason too. Maybe he has a reason too and that's what I saw? That I'm not sure about. But that comes down to, do I trust her to handle that. She says if that's the case she's never noticed it. And she hangs out with him and his wife just about as much as he hangs out with us. She works in a building right near them. My company is based out of Chicago and I live on one of the coasts. So my coworker friends are much more spread out. We can't go to the bar to grab afterwork drinks any day like they can. Honestly I usually go to their work hangouts more than mine because of that. I'm friendly with her CEO because of it.
So is it perfect? No. But I've always trusted her, I've never had a reason not to. In 15 years, this is the first, crack or dent in it.

OOP gives a clearer description of what happened that day

That's not what I saw. She said something, he froze. Said something I couldn't hear she said no no don't worry about it. He put something in the dishwasher and she walked him out to the front door. He didn't dive out the window.
You have to remember this is Reddit. I'm not putting every single nuanced detail in this because that would take me hours to write and I'm not putting my security footage on the Internet for strangers to see. The reason I have the security system in the first place is because of a stranger on the internet.
I'm not saying anything beyond that didn't happen for sure between them. I'm saying I don't know now and I don't have any proof. That's what my wife and I are discussing just about every day and what we are working through.
The original point of the post was..... The only thing we hadn't talked about was paternity because I don't want to put her in a situation where she medically loses the child. Mine or not.
Not only have I not been able to put every single nuanced thing in this I've also sprinkled in false details about our lives, nothing pertinent to what happened but other mundane details. I was a very small public figure at one point. And some low life from the Internet traveled across the country to make death threats against us because of something warped in his head. To the point where the federal government had to get involved.
People in here are wildly jumping at conclusions with much less information than I have and ignoring the original point of the post and the original questions asked.

Has he told Matt's wife

She is my wife's friend's wife. We don't meet up and knit together. I know her through my wife. I see her maybe once every few months at a bar after work, or if they come by for dinner or to hang out. We aren't besties.
Again what should I go tell her. Hey your husband was at my house. I knew he was there and I saw him run a foam roller over the outside of my wife's hip while he was sitting on her feet..... It's super obvious they are fucking and Even though I'm not sure. It's possible she's carrying his baby.
This isn't a soap opera. There's nothing I KNOW that I can tell her so why would she take my word on what tiny evidence there is. And why or how in the world would that help my situation? If all of this is false now I've destroyed my relationship for acting like a child trying to drum up drama for what obviously looks like being vindictive, and I put them in the same situation we are in now.... For something THAT I DON'T KNOW IS TRUE YET.
I believe you have entirely lost the plot here.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

We're having an odd moment with our middle child's bedtimes.
With me, bedtime is average. He requires some comforting (song, cuddles, etc), but usually will accept me leaving him in his room to fall asleep after that routine of 10 minutes or so.
But with my wife, it descends into chaos every night she does bedtime. If she tries to leave the room he screams. If she stays in the room with him it takes him 2 hours to fall asleep, with her next to him.
It seems like he's manipulating her into staying in the room. He roomshares with his older brother (6), so we're reluctant to just leave him to shout it out.
Does anyone have experience with this kind of thing? And guidance on how to resolve it?

My wife and I just returned from Japan and (like many others, apparently!) were impressed by their fancy toilets and want to upgrades ours at home. Our existing toilets are Toto ST743S's, I guess my options are to either use a washlet or get a whole new integrated bidet/toilet.
First - any notable distinctions between the two options? Obviously a washlet won't auto-flush but the rest seems pretty identical.
Next, if I go for a washlet, the array seems dizzying. Costco has a Toto one (model T1SW3014#01) for $359, but I've read reviews of the Toto S7 that's $1,400 and looks largely identical. How to distinguish?
Finally, if I go for the integrated one I'm kinda reluctant to plop down $4k. the Horow and Woodbridge ones for around $1,100 seem to have good reviews on Amazon (for what they are worth...). Impressions?
Thanks!

Hey all,
We just had a scary experience with our 4yr old, well mannered, dog and territory reactive dog. At home he is a sweet and loving dog. We have always been cautious when our toddler and dog are in the same room. Make sure she knows not take things from him, don’t approach him while he’s eating/playing. Just keep the interaction to a minimum. All interactions are supervised. In the past when he’s been on our bed and tried to move him or my father in law was trying to move him to another room by grabbing his collar, he has turned to nip. It’s never punctured us. No blood or marks. I’ve always taken it as a hey, I don’t want you doing that. So to make life easier on us he has a house leash. That’s changed his behavior quite a bit because he has no other option. He reluctantly listen to everything now. He doesn’t do well with stranger
Today was an unfortunate misstep. Toddler was whining and crying, as she does after daycare, not enough sleep. Mom and I were preparing dinner. Dog basically follows us into the rooms so no concern if they were too close unsupervised. Toddler not wanting to eat dinner is starring out the front storm door. Mom and dog are on one side of the table. I on the other. Toddler decides she’s finally ready to eat so she walks over. As she walks towards mom and dog(who is sitting between where mom eats and toddler eats) towards her chair, he lunges at her face mouth open. I didn’t see it but my wife caught most of the action. No visual marks or blood. I’ve always said to my wife that a bite to our daughter is my last straw. Why is it so hard to even fathom re-homing him? Is this what we have to do? Should we hire a trained professional? Please help!!!
Edit 2: Seems like baby gates and a professionals help is our key
Edit: He has never shown signs of aggression towards her ever. We even started to have her help prepare his meals and place the bowl down. I can't think of why he reacted this way other than resource guarding the food on the table perhaps?

I'm no writer and English is my third language. Please don't trash me or my punctuation.
Firstly, mallikajan becoming suddenly patriotic is absurd. It was almost like she had nothing in her hands and she's trying to fill the void of the fall of heeramandi. Like see, it has to be gradual atleast.
My alternate version
MALLIKAJAAN
In the scene where bibbojaan sneaks in the freedom fighters(yes, they very much were) mallikajan stares at her stoic before walking away. We find them in the next scene spoken to by phatto - satto all the things Mallika had originally said. One of the fighters embrace the other remembering the demise of the shaheed when a potli falls open from his pocket. We see jhumke and some rings which Mallika recognises and calls him out saying they are of waheeda almost accusing them of theft. Bibbo responds rather angrily " Ammi!!!" When waheeda interrupts and says she had given them the jewellery . Waheeda goes "takreeban 20 saalon me Pehli dafa jisam par se kuch utaarne par Mera rooh aitiraz nahi kiya." A little taken aback, Mallika walks away saying "Noor Haveli k chaar tijori aapke aur aapke biwi bacchon k liye khule hi."
I feel like it would still preserve her character a little and from here she could have been shown to have gone soft ( you know, with her requesting nawab's wife to talk to other nawab's for her). I know it was not pretence, but her being patriotic was a little off.
When mallikarjaan hears that bibbojaan is getting executed, she breaks down crying. Next scene is her in her room all cried out. Looks at bibbojaan's picture and mutters "meri beti...meri beti bibbo... bibbojaan.... Bibbojaan azaad." We see satto fatto and all the members gathered crying over the news mallikajaan enters , commands them not to cry as bibbo would be the first tawaif to sacrifice her life for her mother( India).
TAJDER
Tajder comes home injured and Alam questions him and he had to reveal that he was manhandled by the British while they were protesting ( he wore black muffler and wasn't recognised though). Alamzeb asks "Aap ye mulk se beintehaa mohabbat karte ho na?" And tajder chuckles and says " jaise aap apne shayari se" and alamzeb goes "shayari ko ham hamara fitoor maante hi par aap mitti ko apna farz. As she wipes his injuries she asks in a soft tone " nibhate hue kese lagta hi?". " Filhaal..... Jaise ek zakhmi maa ko unka beta marham na de paraha" says tajder teary eyed. So maybe here a montage of atrocities of British he has witnessed could be shown as he explains alamzeb why he he'd become anti British. By this the freedom factor is a little more emphasized rather than it being abrupt , also, it invokes patriotism in alamzeb.
ALAMZEB
Alamzeb literally gave it away saying that sher infront of general Cartwright, he very much speaks hindi 🤦‍♀️.
In the alternative version alam while being taken into the jail screams "inqilab zindabad" and tajder is shown to be secretly Proud. Tajder looks at her fondly while she shouts naare and her parwana sher gets played simultaneously.
And in another scene a little after Alam's realise mallikajaan says to alam: "Heeramandi ki shehzadi ho tum. Yaha ki mehek sirf eethar ki hi, na sihayi ki na hi lahoon ki ."
Alamzeb says to herself, "Hamara pyaar(tajder) ka manchaaha eethar tho ghili mitti hi ammi. Is zaameen ki mehek mehfooz rakhenge, apni lahoo se mitti nam karke hi sahi."
(Tajder says he loves ghili mitti just before it rains in the mango farm.)
FAREEDAN
Fareedan's change was rather abrupt. It's just not too convincing.
ALTERNATE VERSION

 Cartwright tells fareedan how mallikjaan had her stoop so low infront of everyone in the police station. Fareedan laughs hard and asks him what has he done. Cartwright explains what happened and when he turns around fareedan looks rather quiet unable to figure out how to feel about it. When Cartwright asks her what happened she says the dialogue she originally does. Cartwright asks her to be happy for him and his boys as they wouldn't get an opportunity like this in England cause a true lady would never sleep with five me. He proceeds to say this only happened because she's an Indian wh*re. This strucks her, she quietly leaves his house placing his gift, that gown on the table. At night during the fountain scene fareedan overhears everything from her window and sheds a tear. Fareedan witnesses Cartwright killing tajder deliberately. She runs and tells that to alam who is still in shock and is repeatedly saying she needs to see dadi. Fareedan takes her to dadi and while is upstairs Cartwright visits Tajder's father who is confronting him. Fareedan walking down the staircase says how she witnessed his death and it was Cartwright who killed his son. Cartwright says that he doesn't know her and if at all she had ever been in a police station it would be because of crimes she committed and he names few off her records intimating that he knows about her past. Fareedan feeling deceived and disrespected she is not afraid of what is going to happen to her and that Tajder's father deserves to know the truth. She tells him how she witnessed him killing his son. Cartwright interrupts and says she is afterall a tawaif and he shouldn't listen to her words. Fareedan says that she's tawaif indeed but she had a mother who take care of her all night when she was sick. She can only imagine what Tajder's father is going through and that he deserves to know the truth. She says he isn't her father or a relative but you don't need a blood relation in this mulk. She calls him khalujaan and asks him to believe her. Tajder's father walks away from her and asks Cartwright to try finding out who the attackers were and walks away indicating that he believes Cartwright and not her. Cartwright mockingly says to her that true Indians only believe the ones who are working for their welfare, the british. Fardeen walks out hurt and disappointed. 

These two incidents can makes fareedan's change more gradual.
CARTWRIGHT
I don't understand why Cartwright would want to sleep with Alam when his sister literally murdered his higher authority and is about to get killed by them. Moreover, he killed Alam's fiance. He has grave threat from Alam.
Alternate version:-

 CARTWRIGHT visits heeramandi's silent corridors and mocks mallikajaan. 

He proceeds to say had she been on his side it would have saved her from many troubles. Alam interrupts and says that she's the next huzoor of heeramandi, the next tawaif. She'd do her first dance, her first nath uthrai for him in return of him not causing the members of heeramandi any further troubles. Cartwright interrupts her and says he wants her nath uthrai not in their fort but in his bedroom. Mallika interrupts reminding how the ritual goes. Alam stares at Cartwright before agreeing. In the later scene she performs infront of him and in the end gets on the top of him stabs him to death in sync with the beat of the music and leaves his house.
THE CLIMAX

 Mallikajaan marches towards the police station with everyone to support bibbojaan. Iqbal riding cart nexts to her stops her suddenly with a talvar reluctantly and says she doesn't deserve a last time with her daughter like he was never given one with saima. Satto fatto shocked asks what he's doing. He cries and wipes his tears and backs away. Mallikajaan looks at fareedan who looks concerned for her. She walks right into the talvar to everyone's horror. Satto fatto and everyone tries to come near her but she asks them to go. Fareedan asks Mallika to come with them and says that bibbojaan will need her mother, she needs to treat herself and that ammi ki zarurat hothi hi. Mallika says her daughter will live kuch pal too without her like she( fareedan) did all these years. She insists on them leaving and being there for bibbojaan. They all March towards the execution place. Bibbojaan is given a last chance to reveal the other members of her group. She is hit with whiplash when she starts singing with all the women from heeramandi behind the walls chorusing with her. Simultaneously mallikajaan is shown dancing while bleeding in a silent , windy and deserted street singing to herself. She pats her feet covered in mud on the ground like she's dancing in her fort, does gajgamini walk manically laughing. Bibbojaan doesn't reveal the names so the officer intimates to kill her. On the other hand mallikajaan is dancing while bleeding with dirt and blood on her face. Tired She falls on her knees. She hears footsteps approaching her running. She sees zoravar (her son) with his hand streched out running towards her calling her ammi. Bullets are shot at bibbojaan simultaneously. Mallikajaan picks up the sword next to her and tears open her blouse from the back and falls on the ground. Zorawar stops and turns away his head. Mallika is seen smiling slowly closing her eyes (preserving her nature of vengeance). Bibbojaan is shown to lay on ground slowly finishing the last word of the song. Her eyes wide open, she loses her life. The narration says bibbojaan has inspired all the beti's of heeramandi to take part in freeing their country. They March and roit religiously from then on to get freedom to this country as no one understands the value of freedom better than the ones who's soul is not even theirs. 

Hello! I'm about to jump back into the query trenches and thought I'd see what you fine folks had to say about the query letter. It's my first time querying horror and came across the term "light horror" which I think fits my story. It's not overly gory but it's essentially a haunted house story. If that's not the right term, please let me know. Either way, thanks for looking it over! I included the first 300 words below as well because why the hell not.
Dear Agent,
I'm seeking representation for my adult fiction novel CENTER VALLEY. I read on your [agency] bio of your interest in [something] and thought it would be a good fit for your list.
CENTER VALLEY is a light horror novel complete at 75,000 words. It will interest fans of HOW TO SELL A HAUNTED HOUSE by Grady Hendrix and THE SEPTEMBER HOUSE by Carissa Orlando.
Ben Baker never thought flipping a house would lead to a maniac attacking his family with a hammer.
He inherited his father’s hardware store and has been doing everything he can to keep it open, including dipping into his family’s savings account. His wife Hannah trusts him with the family finances until she gets into a car accident and finds out there’s not nearly as much in the bank as she thought.
Ben’s brother Hank offers a way to make some quick money—buy a foreclosed house on the outskirts of town and flip it themselves. With no other idea of how to replace the money, Ben reluctantly agrees.
But when they finally get into the house, they find something in the attic that neither can explain. A house—complete with windows, a roof, and a bathroom—sits behind a makeshift wall of thin plywood. Hank is curious but Ben is immediately unsettled, and neither can say exactly why.
Soon, Ben sees shadows move in ways they shouldn’t, hears strange noises from the attic, and realizes that they have a lot more to worry about than simply finishing the remodel within their budget when the strange occurrences follow him home.
[bio]
Thanks,
[me]
First 300 words:
I would’ve hugged my daughter a little tighter if I had known a madman would attack her with a hammer before her next birthday. But of course, there was no way for me to know so instead I just threw my empty beer bottle at Hank’s kneecap.
“Ah jeez look at that,” I said. This was one of our dad’s top moves. The other was to simply drop the empty bottle between his feet—he could be standing in the kitchen right next to Mom, it didn’t matter—and stare you in the eyes with this dumb grin on his face.
Hank just laughed and reached into the cooler on the opposite side of his lawn chair. Birthday parties are incredibly easy when your brother has a daughter the same age as yours. He pulled out another High Life and threw it back to me. April 26th was a tough birthday in middle Wisconsin. Depending on the year, you could get a nice spring-like day or a snowstorm. We lucked out this year.
“Why didn’t you get the big one?” Hank said, nodding to the bounce house that filled up more than half of my backyard.
“He didn’t want to pay for the semi to deliver it,” said Hannah. My wife of nine years. She was only five feet tall but goddamn she was a giant to me. Have you ever been afraid of a person you could throw through a window with one arm? That was her. Worthless on moving day but you didn’t want to see her get angry. I used to joke that she had an amplifier in her ribcage. The decibel level she could reach was freakish and downright terrifying, especially if you didn’t see it coming. She once stopped a dog fight just by screaming as loud as she could.

I wrote a post yesterday about an embarrassing situation that happened between my wife's best friend who is currently staying at our house. I was not sure how to bring it up to my wife and you guys really helped me a lot in understanding the urgency of telling my wife. I also got some cool ideas on how to bring up the subject without making it awkward for anyone. For everyone saying Ana was doing it on purpose, I did not agree with it as I am an extremely average looking person and woman don't chase me. However, things since last night have been just crazy and I think I am spiraling a bit. Sorry for the long post.
So, I decided to tell my wife last night as soon as she came home about the incident. I liked the idea of jokingly bringing up casually so that we both can laugh about it and then forget it. Last night, when my wife came home, I made sure I stayed in our bedroom. I asked Ana if she could stay with my kid downstairs. As my wife was changing, I asked her if Ana still borrow her clothes. Ana had to borrow them regularly when she first moved (long story). My wife told me yes and she has told Ana she can take anything from her closet if she needs it. I asked my wife if Ana told her about the funny incident from Friday. My wife said no, and I told her the whole story about how I came home early, and Ana came in the room almost naked to get her clothes, and how embarrassing it was for both of us.
As my wife was listening to this, she completely froze and turned pale. She started murmuring in Spanish (which is her and Ana's native language). I don't understand Spanish really well, but I understood the words "hombre casado" and "orta vez". I asked her if she is ok, and she sat next to me and asked me to explain everything in detail. I just told her it was nothing and she must have not heard me coming in. I was trying to laugh it off, but my wife had water in her eyes. I kept on telling her it was not a big deal, but she kept on asking me for more details. She asked me how Ana talks to me. I told her that Ana barely talks to me since she moved in except few words here and there.
My wife then asked me about three weeks ago when my wife had gone to visit her parents for four days. Ana did not want to go with her and stayed back. I told her that Ana was just acting normal. She or I would cook dinner after I got home from work while the other took care of the kid. The only thing different was Ana generally spending her evening in her room. However, when I was sitting in the living room watching TV after the kids slept, Ana came and sat on the sofa next to me but did not talk to me. I asked her if she wants me to change the channel or stream something she likes, and she just said she wanted to get out of her room. However, she did not flirt with me or do anything unusual. I kept on telling my wife that it was just an accident, and I really did not understand why she reacted so emotionally to it. My wife refused to answer and just said ok and agreed with me. However, she told me I should have told her about the incident sooner and should not keep any secrets from her and gave me a big lecture. I told her that I did not think it was a big deal and thought Ana would tell her, but glad I brought it up.
After dinner, my wife messaged Ana to join us, and she came out. While talking, my wife brought up the incident and told Ana that I mentioned about the incident, and she does not need to feel embarrassed. Such things happen when we are all in the same house and is not a big deal. Ana was firstly taken by surprise, but then told my wife she was just scared to tell her because she thought my wife would judge her because of her past. My wife gave her a stare, and she quickly changed the topic.
At night, I asked my wife what the hell was going on. I told her to please not keep any secrets from me, and if she does not tell me, I will directly ask Ana about what her past has got to do with anything. My first guess was Ana might have had a thing for me before we got married or something. But my wife was very reluctant to answer and kept on trying to change the subject and cuddle. However, I kept being persistent, and she finally spilled the beans.
Apparently, when Ana was in her early 20s, she was in relationship with a married coworker who was twice her age. It was a kind of sugar daddy relationship, and he told her that he was in an open relationship (or that's what Ana told my wife) and he would leave his wife in few years once the kids go to college. This makes sense now, because Ana is very pretty (like Miss USA level), and I never understood why she was single for most of the time I knew her. She eventually ended that relationship and started dating her boyfriend Jim, who turned out to be an abusive asshole. My wife said she suspects Ana was still involved with the older guy while in relationship with Jim, which explains why he kept on accusing her of cheating. That is why my wife became emotional when I told her what Ana did because she was worried Ana has no boundaries regarding married men. My wife said that Ana always looks up to us and praises me for being such a loyal partner and how lucky my wife is. My wife was a worried initially when she brought Ana home, but her actions from the time when my wife was away clearly show that she respects the boundaries, and it must have been an accident. My wife told me she is grateful I let Ana live in our house and observe what a healthy and happy marriage looks like.
Today morning was even more weird. I got up early as I could not sleep well and went down for a cup of coffee. After 5 minutes Ana walked into the kitchen and told me she was relieved my wife did not overreact to Friday incident. She said I am a good husband and gave me a hug and peck on the cheeks. She has never hugged me in the last 6 months. She seemed to be in a happy mood and was making small talk with me while having coffee.
I cannot believe my wife did not tell me such a huge detail about Ana for all these years. It's completely possible she cheated all through the relationship with Jim, and my wife is just covering for her all along. She even kept it a secret from me (after giving me a lecture about how we should never have secrets), and I don't know what else she is hiding. Everything just seems very confusing at this point. I feel angry at my wife for lying to me all these years for Ana. I also now see Ana differently. I am also worried that me trivializing the incident to my wife might have sent wrong signals to Ana.

This weekend I'm meeting her family, parents and siblings for the first time. I'm 52 and a widower, she's 25. After a few crazy months of dating and casual sex, mostly with nice ladies my age, this young woman has captivated me in a way no one has since my late wife (even though she is completely 180 degrees different). We started out as FWBs (very reluctant on my part) and have been exclusive for almost 2 months, but it feels like a year in the sense that we click so well, we know each other, we get each other. I don't know how this happened, but I'm so ridiculously happy and content, not to mention not lonely anymore.
She has met my children, truthfully she already knew them a little as they were all in high school together, she and my daughter in the same graduating class. They all get along, my kids are happy for me and have no problem with the relationship. Will her family be just as happy? I don't know, I hope so. Her dad is 10 years older than her mom, they are immigrants, we have some commonalities, but her mother is exactly my age. It's weird, yes.
I'm fully prepared to either be accepted or to be carried out in a hearse. LOL Yeah, I'm a little nervous. Maybe what makes me more nervous is that she doesn't care if they like me or approve of us. She is the self-admitted 'black sheep' of the family who has bucked tradition, lived life on her terms, gotten tattoos and piercings, changes her hair color every month, and dresses funky...all things her parents don't understand and don't like. She loves her parents, but she doesn't want to live by their rules and traditions.
It's crazy because I have never been attracted to a younger woman, especially not this young. I certainly resisted her and told her 'no' over and over. I don't particularly care for tattoos and piercings and funky clothes, crazy makeup and all that. But I've learned that it is all just superficial. It's not really her. Under all that, there's a calm sweetness to her and a lot of traditional values (that she doesn't like to admit to) and a desire to be loved. She's a homebody who prefers gym shorts, my t-shirts and no makeup at home (she has spent every weekend with me for the past 8 weeks).
So I'm meeting her family this weekend at a big bbq at their house. At my age and with my experience, you'd think I could easily decide what to bring as a gift to them, but I'm having a hard time. I'm in love with this woman and she with me and despite the fact that I think the age gap is a huge mistake and I'm ruining her life, this will very likely turn into a long-term relationship, possibly even marriage. Crazy, huh?
Edit to say: If you actually read all this, I congratulate and appreciate you.

Apologies ahead of time if I provide too much or too little detail. I’m prepared to answer questions or clarify as needed.
In 2017 my mom arranged a cash out refinance on her condo in Colorado, at which point I took over all expenses, and she moved to Virginia to live with my aging aunt. I’m the youngest of her five children, three of whom had been estranged from my mom and each other for nearly ten years by the time she left the state. The intention of my moving in was to maintain the condo so it would be available for her to move back into one day, date unknown.
She had a fatal heart attack and passed away in August 2023. My one other sibling on speaking terms with her shared that she had named me as the executor of the will, but after going through everything, we found no will. Even with no will however, all four of my siblings were vocal that the condo should be mine as I was paying for it alone for the life of the current loan and have put time and effort into maintaining (redid the floors and remodeled the kitchen). The plan when starting the probate process was for them to renounce claim on the house and I would inherit alone allowing me to assume the loan under the existing terms (checked the contract, this is allowed).
The first issue came when the most estranged sibling attempted to use the death as a way to force a reluctant sibling to open communication. The attempt was unsuccessful and I received texts from the most estranged sibling expressing that he would not agree to that sibling being named as the personal representative, and that he expects “his 20% of the estate, including equity in the house.” The lawyer hired to start probate advised that because I was transferring the mortgage payments into a bank account with only my mom’s name on it, which then made payments to the mortgage company, that I had no legal right to the home so the ideal scenario would be to get the estranged sibling to sign off on renouncing by paying him out his 20%.
After breaking everything down it looks like we have two options. 1. Somehow convince estranged sibling to renounce entirely, because the reality is he owes so much in back child support and unpaid taxes he won’t get anything anyway. Or 2. Sell the house, his share goes to his ex wife and children, and the rest of us get 20% as well.
I’ve come to terms that I might lose my home and have to move, and if this is the case I’m even happy to give the estranged sibling’s share to his ex and children. 2 of the friendly siblings are on board to pay the taxes on their share and gift me the maximum so I can pay off debt and be able to afford the higher cost of renting in the area, or potentially as a down payment on a new home. The 3rd friendly sibling, who was at first the most vocal about not wanting anything from the estate, has since started commenting how a big check would be nice and questioning whether I’m entitled to the sale proceeds. This thought pattern has trickled to the other 2 where they now want to stipulate that if I should get to keep the house I should will it to the next generation. There are 8 grandkids between the four siblings, I have no children of my own. I find the questioning of my claim to be audacious, and I can’t find reason in my being made to will the house to anyone I don’t choose.
Do I have legal grounds to stand on in pursuing ownership of the home or full proceeds from a sale?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Actual-Beach-4400 and u/Affectionate_Egg895 posting in Marriage
Concluded as per OOP
Content warning - mention of child sexual abuse, miscarriage
2 updates - Medium
Original - 30th March 2024
Update1 - 20th April 2024
Update2 - 13th May 2024
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My husband kicked me out of the home because I invited over his mother
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I preface this by saying I think I screwed up massively.
Hubbie and I have been married for six years now. He's always been the "fun guy", always laughing and making me laugh, always seeing the bright side of things. However, one thing that bothered me was that I never knew much of his family. His father died when he was little and he has little relationship with his mom.
I'll keep this short: four months ago I looked up his mom on social media and found her. I sent a message, and she replied. We chatted and met up, she doesn't live far from us. She knew all about me and her son because she kept an eye on him on social. We became friends and I filled her in with details about our lives. I asked her why hubbie went no contact with her. She refused to tell me why if hubbie didn't tell me, just said it was all her fault and she's ashamed of it. I proposed to try what I could to help them reconcile and she agreed even if she was reluctant at first.
In the following weeks I tried talking to hubbie about his mother and what happened between them. He always changed topic or shut me down. When MIL asked me how it was going, I told her things were progressing and I was working on it.
Last week I decided to try and have them meet up so maybe we could spend Easter together. I invited MIL over before my husband would be back from work so we could surprise. She was a bit unsure about this, she said she wasn't comfortable surprising him like that, but I reassured her. I thought that any emotion hubbie could have would be better cooled by a hug.
Spoiler alert, MIL was right. Hubbie came home, and after the initial shock started yelling like I never heard him to her to get out immediately. She just grabbed her coat and stormed out. Afterwards, hubbie told me to get out too when I explained what I had done. He didn't yell at me, but his voice was cold and almost emotionless.
I've been staying at my sister's since. Hubbie won't take my calls. MIL cried on the phone and asked why I lied like that and never talked to my hubbie and "prepared" him for that. Now she stopped taking my calls as well.
I know I have screwed up big time, and I see now what a massive dork I've been. How can I fix this? I want to apologize to hubbie for what I did and maybe find out why his mom is dead to him.
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Comments
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Maze_C
You’re a manipulative liar with no concept of boundaries. You’re staring divorce in the face and STILL want details on a situation that has absolutely fuck all to do with you. You know you’re a despicable person when even the estranged mother wants nothing to do with you. Grow up.
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Update - 3 weeks later
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The last weeks have been rough, but we might be okay. Hubbie opened up about the reason he cut off his mother and many of you were right, it was s3xual abuse. Not from his mother, but his stepfather. They were engaged and his mom was pregnant with his child when the guy started giving my husband "attentions".
Husband went to his mom but she shut him down accusing him of being jealous and wanting to spoil her happiness. This went on until his mother came home from work unexpectedly and walked in on the guy "giving attention" to my husband. She kicked him out, pressed charges and annulled their engagement, but the damage was done and my husband no longer trusted her. She also lost the baby due to stress and although she never blamed my husband for it, he felt it was his fault.
All this felt like a gut punch for me, first for what he went through, and then because now I am the person who shattered his trust. He said he did consider divorce over this, but pretty bluntly said that he thinks my actions were out of stupidity rather than malice, and he wants to work things out.
I am committed to do my best to become a better and safe partner for him, I know I have this stupid and selfish tendency to think that I often know better than him, but I have to get over it because it hurt him massively and almost imploded our relationship. I don't want to be another person he trusted and ended up hurting him.
He also decided to reach out to his mom and start talking to her again. He's not sure they can repair the relationship, but he wants for both of them to find some closure.
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Comments
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Strange_Salamander33
Literally, she forced him to relive trauma and tell a secret she had no business knowing. I’d definitely have divorced
RegieRealtor49
To be fair he had not told her about the abuse. She had no idea

OOP: I know I screwed up massively and I will do everything I can to become a better wife and safe partner for him

xanif
Another example of someone with a savior complex trying to "fix" things.
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Update - 3 weeks later
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My husband is doing better and our relationship is slowly getting back to what it was. I know it will take a lot of time to repair the damage I caused, but I am willing to give him all the time he wants and do anything he asks out of me.
The bitter irony of this whole story is that he told me he had been thinking about reaching out to his mother, but on his terms and time. By going behind his back I almost destroyed that chance of reconciliation and imploded our marriage. I am working on myself and will start seeing a therapist next month so I never do something like that ever again and more importantly, never betray his trust ever again. Also, with my husband's knowledge and consent, I apologized to MIL for leading her on with false promises and she has forgiven me.
As for him and MIL, they started talking to each other, have met a couple of times in public and yesterday my husband invited her over for dinner so that in his words we all can try to start over properly. She's a very sweet woman and she's eager to reconcile with him and get to know me. My husband said that for now he wants for all of us to get a bit used to each other, then he and MIL will get to work on their traumas (his words).
He says she's not the "villain" in what happened, but he needs to come to terms with her poor decisions and his own feelings of guilt for her losing her baby. MIL on the other hand is very apologetic and extremely sorry about what happened (in my husband's opinion, sincerely so) and doesn't blame him at all for the miscarriage.
As for me, I just sit aside and do my best to rebuild the trust with my husband and become a better and safe partner. He started being affectionate with me again and we are no longer on thin ice, but I can't stop thinking I almost lost him because I thought I knew better than him.
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Comments
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Veronika9216
I remember your story, and I hope you appreciate how lucky you are to be given a second chance.
You know you screwed up when both your husband and the estranged parent are upset at you for what you have done. It seems you all are on the road of reconciling, but never forget that your short-sighted actions could have nuked any possibility of them reconciling and your own marriage.
Be thankful you are given this chance, don't screw it up and although your husband and MIL have forgiven you for breaking both their trusts, it will take time to rebuild their trust for you.
Syclone11
I am happy for you OP. You know how you massively screwed up and have shown yourself to be remorseful and have grasped what you did to your husband.
He and his mother have a lot of healing to do. You are right to stay out of it going forward unless asked by your husband. He is being affectionate because he does love you and knows you deserve redemption and is looking to give you that gift. You are very lucky and I think this will make you a more complete partner. I wish nothing but the best for you, your husband and his mother.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I just read this in The Reluctant Countess by Eloisa James and I loved it! The MMC stayed away from the fmc because he considered her frivolous and not fit to be his wife. He goes crazy and begs her to marry him after they do the deed. Fmc obviously refuses(yes! Make them beg!)
Can I have this? An Mmc putting a lot of meaning into them having sex and the Fmc not accepting it right away? I would certainly love heapings of jealousy
20+ MCs and any genre except bully romance or poly/RH

Y’all, I watched the Ashley Maddison train wreck on Netflix and it had one of my least favorite Christian themes. One of these dudes was a Christian family lifestyle influencers with his wife. His wife goes on and on about how safe she felt being married to a devout Christian becuase that meant the wouldn’t cheat. Years ago I read about Mellissa Joan Hart feeling better about hanging with Christians because she knows what their morals are.
I guess we just really live on completely different planes of existence from these people. I, and I assume most of you, am reluctant when a person declares their moral authority by stating their religious affiliation. Does this lady have a tv or a phone? She’s an instagram influencer so it seems likely she has internet… so I’m not sure why she thinks Christians don’t cheat.
It’s exhausting because we’re somehow supposed to muster sympathy for these women who chose misogynistic men.

I've been thinking that if Spy x Family ever got a live action adaptation (never gonna/never should happen?), whether as a film (trilogy?) or microseries, then a smart way of truncating the story would be to have Loid and Anya have a pre-established father-daughter relationship as a result of him rescuing her from the lab.
Twilight infiltrates the lab as a janitor, discovers that Subject 007 is the only survivor from their human trials and immediately decides to rescue her. Fortunately for him, the facility is distracted by a completely coincidental simultaneous attack by the mysterious Thorn Princess (who wears a mask in this adaptation since part of her Garden-mandated M. O. is to allow a survivor every once in a while to build up her reputation... in this case, said survivor just happens to be the dumbstruck Twilight, still in disguise. She informs him that she's about to rig the place to blow and that he should leave now. He runs off to retrieve Anya from her hiding place, where he told her to stay while he investigated the sounds of fighting. Thorn Princess allows them to leave, since Twilight was able to convince her that he really was just a hard-working man who was disgusted by the experiments and just wanted to help this girl escape. They part ways and the lab is destroyed.
Although in my imagination, said infiltration-turned-rescue would have happened while Anya is four, allowing her the awareness to get overly attached to Twilight, thus resulting in him getting automatically assigned by the higher ups from WISE (they're the only ones who know about her power) as her guardian/mentor. His mission is to protect her while helping her hone her abilities. Whether she becomes a spy or an ordinary well-adjusted citizen, would be up to her once she comes of age... All of this could be a cold open prologue narrated by Anya in the style of a spy novel. It's a mental diary entry she recites to herself on the anniversary of her rescue.
This would be a great way of shortening the set up as far as Loid and Anya are concerned. Among the Forger family, these two have known each other for longer and are the only ones who have any knowledge of Operation Strix and are actively working for its success (Yor is a wonderful and essential addition to the family, but sometimes she does feel a bit like an outsider... which she is: as far as she knows, she's Loid's second wife and Anya's stepmother).
If this hypothetical adaptation has Twilight rescue Anya as an infant/toddler and Operation Strix happens when she's around eleven or twelve, then this would allow the casting director to look for older, more experienced child actors for the role. But then again, a twelve year old Anya who was raised by Twilight may not be so eager to ship her spy dad with a freaking assassin they just so happen to bump into... unless said assassin happened to attack the lab several years ago and coincidentally allowed Twilight to survive and thus liberate little Anya! (As for why Yor doesn't recognize Anya now... Um, she just forgot, okay! :D But seriously, if pink hair were to be a rare, but not too rare, hair color in this adaptation's universe, then there would be little reason for Yor to suspect that Anya Forger is the same kid she helped rescue a few years back, especially if she doesn't recall hearing the child's name at the time.)
I imagine the first film of this hypothetical adaptation to start with "Dr. Loid Forger" being visited by his "mother-in-law" (Handler) who informs him that WISE HQ has determined that Anya and her ability are necessary for Operation Strix. Twilight, who has grown attached to Anya over the years, is upset but reluctantly agrees upon hearing the reasoning behind the decision. Anya is much less reluctant! After moving to Berlint and passing the entrance exam for Eden Academy, they receive the letter about both parents showing up for the interview. They come up with a plan to hire a single woman as a nanny for Anya, a woman who they can convince to also act as Anya's mother for the interview and trustworthy enough to keep quiet about it. While looking for prospects, the pair end up reuniting with an oblivious Yor.
So as not to complicate the plot too much (in the case of a standalone film with a soft potential sequel hook at the end) let's say that Yor had, at this point, handed in her resignation to the Shopkeeper since Yuri is now a grown man who's taking good care of himself. Unfortunately for Yor, resigning from Garden basically means getting politely excommunicated by the organization. No longer will they spare any of their resources to provide for her or to protect her from the authorities (should it ever come to that). She's on her own. So she's out job hunting when she coincidentally crosses paths with the Forgers. Seeing Anya makes Yor think of the time she helped rescue a pink haired kid from a lab. Anya reads her mind and she KNOWS that she's found the mom she wants!
Anya takes Loid aside to explain that Yor is Thorn Princess. She also tries to convince him of the benefits of keeping a jobless assassin away from unassuming civilians and from enemy employment by hiring her themselves. They'd keep her out of the loop as far as operation Strix was concerned, instead monitoring her as they keep her around as a loyal nanny with the skills of a bodyguard. After much pestering from Anya, Loid very reluctantly hires Yor as her nanny (and also fake mother for the interview).
(Now, Yuri is either still an SSS officer, or just a regular government employee... If the latter, then Yor might be able to get him to forge her marriage certificate later. He might grudgingly go along with it, the guy did give his sister a job... but he better not touch her.)
After that, the film would focus a bit on Anya adapting to life as an Eden student and befriending Becky and trying to befriend Damian... Maybe even showing a montage of the Forgers going about their daily lives: Anya doing good/badly at school and earning stellas/tonitrus bolts, Loid going out to do other spy jobs with Franky, Yuri (toned down) paying visits and eventually introducing his girlfriend Fiona (also toned down), and Yor settling in and finding peace in her new life as "Mrs. Forger".
Eventually, Anya sets her sights on earning another stella by signing up for community service at the dog adoption fair leading to an adaptation of the Doggy Crisis arc as the climax. Loid is called in by WISE and Yor is left to accompany Anya. Blah blah blah. Maybe Damian's also doing community service for the stella and ends up getting entangled with the terrorists and Anya ends up saving him at one point. Yor stops the terrorists that WISE couldn't capture. Perhaps, as a backup plan, the terrorists found and hired another excommunicated Garden assassin to take out the Westalian ambassador. Higher stakes may also force Anya to reveal her powers to Yor in order to help Loid in time.
At the end of the day the Forgers get to adopt Bond and Yor is brought in on Loid and Anya's secret, becoming an active participant of Operation Strix. Throughout the film, Loid has seen how quickly Anya and Yor clicked and grew close together and how they obviously loved each other. Loid ("for the mission, for Anya", he tries insist, but drops the excuses) proposes to Yor for real with a grenade pin. She happily accepts.
The film ends with the Forgers settling into their new lives as a family... One night while having dinner, the phone rings. Anya gets up to answer it, leaving Loid and Yor alone and trying to flirt with each other. Anya comes back, phone still in hand, explaining that the caller is Damian whose parents have given permission to invite friends and their parents over for his birthday party. Anya shares a knowing look with her parents, who both give her a nod. She says her thanks and accepts the invitation, hangs up the phone, and rejoins her parents at the table, gives Bond some food from her plate, Loid and Yor resume talking about their day. As this peaceful family scene plays out the music takes on a jazzy tune, clearly implying that the Forgers are already making plans. Cut to title: SPY X FAMILY.
Roll credits. :)

So not sure how this is gonna go but here we go. My wife grew up in a normal life, her mom and step dad who is awesome, actually they both are, always provided for them and gave them as normal of a life as they could. But her mom (my inlaw) has a dark past, full of sexual abuse by her own step dad ( this was in a different Country) since she was a little girl, thats why my Mil (mother in law) fled the country and came to the Us with her 3 daughters because of this non stop abuse since she was little. Now my wife has never experienced any kind pf sexual abuse that she can recall. But she does now about her mom being abused and knows all the details which are dark.
My wife has some kind of second hand trauma from this, she suffers internally and occasionally externally for everything that her mom went thru, to the extent as if it happened to her. We have been married 14 years and have 2 kids, an 11f and 5m. As our daughter is developing at this age my wife has grew more distant from me and hold conversations with my 11f behind closed doors at times.
Well tonight was one of those nights and i never asked what was happening because i just wrote it off as them talking about the “women stuff”. But today i made the mistake of asking what they were talking about and my wife reluctantly asked me if I really wanted to know, which peaked my curiosity in kind of a concerning way for my daughter.
Well she lays on me a lot of things on how our daughter is growing and developing and that she doesnt trust me around her, she says her mind always goes to the dark stuff that happened to her mom and that wishes she wasn’t traumatized but that she is and the bottom line is that she distrusts me alone with her. Totally throws me off and i dont know what to think about all this specially because she said is specifically me she distrusts, she says that she has no concern about one of my brothers in law or her step dad is only ME! She alao mentiones that her “mind” thinks that i get up in the middle of the night to go and molest my own daughter, ao disturbing!
She knows that when i was younger I always had quite a bit of girlfriends and she says that is part of why she feels this way. Again we have been married 14 years. This makes me upset but am i supposed to be ok with this thoughts or distrust she has for me? I was trying to not say anything that wouldnt be supportive but i laughed during our conversation and she got super upset because she thought i was making fun of her, wth? I’m just trying to process all this things that she dropped on me. So right now she decided to go sleep in a separate room and Im here not knowing what to do. She did say at one point during the convo that she might need therapy which i agreed. Thoughts?
Edit: this is a throwaway account.
ADDITIONAL INFO: so my wife most likely is the child of her step grandad ( the one that abuse my MIL). When i met him about 11 years ago the resemblance to my wife is uncanny, again he lives in another country so i didnt have the chance to meet him before. When the step grandad met my parents, my family kept saying “wow you guys look so much alike but you arent blood related?” And he gave some bs explanation that the population has indigenous roots and whatnot so a lot of people in his country have similar features. After that day i kept telling my wife about it and she layed it all on me how her mom was raped all throughout her life, this is when i found out about all the trauma. We had been married a few years at that point.

It seems like she’s feeling insecure again. I keep my eyes shut tight, preparing myself for the song and dance I had been through so many times before. The weight of the bed shifts under me as she crawls under the blankets. A cold limb flops over my torso, wrapping me in a frigid embrace. I resist the urge to flinch as the moist, squishy mass of flesh presses into my forehead, a tickling droplet of fluid slides down my face and over my tightly pursed lips. Not daring to move, I waited patiently for the words I knew must come. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, a muffled teary voice sounds in a desperate tone:
“Do you...”
The voice falters, emitting several low-pitched, labored gurgles before continuing:
“Love me?”
Without hesitation I respond, as gently as could be managed:
“Of course I love you. But it’s time to go back to sleep now, okay?”
The gurgling continues, higher pitched now, like an excited baby. After a few moments the squishy mass detaches itself from my forehead, and the weight in the bed shifts. The gentle smacking of feet against hardwood floor, and a door quietly closing across the house resound in the otherwise silent room. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, I rock gently back and forth with my head in between my legs, resisting the tears that are fighting to escape. I allow a few moments of this pointless self-pity before forcing myself to stand up.
I walk down the hallway to the bathroom, not allowing my eyes to stray to the door to what used to be my room. A look in the mirror reveals that my forehead has already started breaking out in small orange pustules, along with a small streak of them where the fluid had dripped down my face. At least it didn't get in my mouth this time. That isn’t a panic I would like to revisit. I retrieve the small bottle of vinegar from the medicine cabinet and apply it to a cotton ball, beginning the tedious task of treating my face. A harsher acid would probably do a better job, but I prefer to avoid the stinging even if the pustules disappear more slowly. It’s not like I need to look handsome for anyone. It’s unlikely she can even really see me.
Once my skin is sufficiently covered in the stuff, I grab a bucket and mop, and clean the wet footprints from the hallway, and from the living room where my bed is located. Most of the wood flooring throughout the house is already somewhat corroded, but I’d prefer to keep my home intact to the extent that I am able. Although it’s up to anyone’s guess what manner of hellscape the bedroom must look like. I hadn’t been in that room in a long time. That was her domain now, and there was no reason for me to enter. No reason to take that risk.
I light the small gas cooktop in the kitchen and get to work making food for the day. Canned food is surprisingly appetizing when there’s nothing to do but eat. It would taste better with some seasoning, but there was no point in going through that much effort. This food serves one purpose, and that’s to keep us from starving. I slide one plate under the crack between the floor and the bedroom door and sit down in the living room with the other plate in hand.
The book on the coffee table catches my eye as it does every morning. Sighing, I pick up the ratty collection of pages and flip to a random one. One of the few books on the “Great Plague” as they call it, that was ever published, or at least, the only one I could ever find. Titled “The End” by Jared Kramer, It was more of a fanatical opinion piece than a proper informative book, but Kramer at least provided a bit of information on the virus, how the transformation works, and what methods could be used to, in his words, “Cure” the afflicted. A shotgun was noted as the best medicine, with gasoline and matches being a close second. Near the middle of the book, the portion that was coincidentally staring back at me from the pages, it turned into a near unintelligible ranting on the philosophy of consciousness. Apparently, Kramer had only just begun to consider whether blowing the afflicted’s brains out was a morally reasonable decision. He had never come across as a particularly intelligent guy in his writings, and my assumption was that he was simply the only person who wrote fast enough to get a book published before the plague became a worldwide epidemic. Towards the end of the book, Kramer does a 180 and states repeatedly that “Accepting the transformation is the only road to salvation”.
“Salvation... as if”
My words perish in the empty air, a death rattle of frustrated skepticism.
I had never quite understood what that actually meant. Salvation would be something like deliverance from harm, harm being the only thing that the plague brought to the world. The book thuds as I carelessly toss it back on the table. It's obvious that the author was in the process of transforming as he wrote the final passages, but they never ceased to bother me. Perhaps I'm just fixating on those words as a way of keeping my mind occupied.
There’s really no reason to focus on such pointless things.
--------------------
The following night my sleep was peaceful and uninterrupted. She usually shows up once a week, if not less frequently. After waking, the bathroom mirror reveals that the pustules ha subsided slightly, leaving my skin smooth, if not free of the noticeable blemishes. A subtle glint of light shines off of my head and my heart rate accelerates.
Surely not.
Surely it was a trick of the light.
I begin rifling through my matted hair furiously and there it is. A single, silver hair hanging in front of my forehead.
I guess this is it then.
She made sure I had sworn on everything under the sun. Her stupid goofy smile reflected in my memory.
“First grey hair and I’m outta here mister”
To think that a silly little joke between us had turned into this solemn responsibility. The steel of the revolver was cold in my palm. My eyes locked onto it, unsure of when it had made its way from the drawer of the coffee table into my hand, or for that matter, when I had entered the living room. The earth seemed to be rotating at impossible speeds. Everything was black except for the gun in my hand and the book on the coffee table. That goddamn book. One of the pages had begun to tear away from the others, no doubt a result of my less than careful treatment of the thing, and a single word seemed to assault my fragile psyche.
Salvation.
I get it now
My heartbeat slows marginally as the unravelling of this book that I’ve read so many times presented a welcome distraction. There had been nothing left for Kramer, or anyone else for that matter, in a world that was dying around them. His salvation was freedom from the great plague. His call to “accept” the transformation, was not the same as giving in to it. After all, hadn’t he expressed over and over again exactly how to “find release” as he called it, from the infection.
Kramer, unlike me, had accepted that there was no life in transformation, no being, no humanity, and no way back. His moral dilemma had come to a close, likely with a bullet in his brain.
A reluctant chuckle rose through my chest and escaped my throat. It didn’t sound like me. It was twisted, choked, and raspy. She had always known hadn’t she, that I would stay in this house with her. That’s why she had forced me to swear up and down on something as silly and inevitable as a grey hair, before locking herself in that room five years ago. Knowing her, it had all been for my own good, a way for her to look out for me even after she was long gone.
The creak of the door was like nails on a chalkboard. I laid my eyes for the first time in years on my wife, or at least, what was left of her. I had seen the afflicted before, but seeing her in this state brought a blockage to my throat that nothing could have prepared me for. Her head had been obscured by the typical growth, characteristic of the great plague, A mass wider than her torso which was completely wrapped around her head, the loose flesh sagging down onto her shoulders. Large orange boils were dotted across this mass, as well as glistening, concave pits, where those boils had burst and left scars. The thick external vein structure wrapped around it was partially translucent, providing a window to the tar-like substance flowing slowly throughout. The worst thing, however, the thing that forced my tears out of my eyes and onto the corroded floor, was her body. Her clothes had long since disintegrated, leaving a sight that was fundamentally identical to what I remembered, with one exception. The excess weight of the mass upon her shoulder had atrophied her spine, which had crumpled, leaving her torso contorted in a grotesque fashion, the flesh and muscle folding in upon itself in places.
I had let this happen. I had as good as desecrated my wife’s corpse by leaving her in this state, by convincing myself that a cure would be found for a plague that had long-since been eradicated by other means. I did this.
My hands move as though without instruction from my brain, raising the revolver to my eye-level, pointing at the place where my wife’s head was concealed amid that horrid mass of flesh.
Her head tilted upwards slightly, as if she was looking at me with eyes that had been long-since obscured. That muffled, teary voice sounded out from amidst the heap weighing on her shoulders. Despite myself hesitated for just a moment, savoring the shadow of a voice that I would never hear again.
“Do you love me?”

It seems like she’s feeling insecure again. I keep my eyes shut tight, preparing myself for the song and dance I had been through so many times before. The weight of the bed shifts under me as she crawls under the blankets. A cold limb flops over my torso, wrapping me in a frigid embrace. I resist the urge to flinch as the moist, squishy mass of flesh presses into my forehead, a tickling droplet of fluid slides down my face and over my tightly pursed lips. Not daring to move, I waited patiently for the words I knew must come. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, a muffled teary voice sounds in a desperate tone:
“Do you...”
The voice falters, emitting several low-pitched, labored gurgles before continuing:
“Love me?”
Without hesitation I respond, as gently as could be managed:
“Of course I love you. But it’s time to go back to sleep now, okay?”
The gurgling continues, higher pitched now, like an excited baby. After a few moments the squishy mass detaches itself from my forehead, and the weight in the bed shifts. The gentle smacking of feet against hardwood floor, and a door quietly closing across the house resound in the otherwise silent room. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, I rock gently back and forth with my head in between my legs, resisting the tears that are fighting to escape. I allow a few moments of this pointless self-pity before forcing myself to stand up.
I walk down the hallway to the bathroom, not allowing my eyes to stray to the door to what used to be my room. A look in the mirror reveals that my forehead has already started breaking out in small orange pustules, along with a small streak of them where the fluid had dripped down my face. At least it didn't get in my mouth this time. That isn’t a panic I would like to revisit. I retrieve the small bottle of vinegar from the medicine cabinet and apply it to a cotton ball, beginning the tedious task of treating my face. A harsher acid would probably do a better job, but I prefer to avoid the stinging even if the pustules disappear more slowly. It’s not like I need to look handsome for anyone. It’s unlikely she can even really see me.
Once my skin is sufficiently covered in the stuff, I grab a bucket and mop, and clean the wet footprints from the hallway, and from the living room where my bed is located. Most of the wood flooring throughout the house is already somewhat corroded, but I’d prefer to keep my home intact to the extent that I am able. Although it’s up to anyone’s guess what manner of hellscape the bedroom must look like. I hadn’t been in that room in a long time. That was her domain now, and there was no reason for me to enter. No reason to take that risk.
I light the small gas cooktop in the kitchen and get to work making food for the day. Canned food is surprisingly appetizing when there’s nothing to do but eat. It would taste better with some seasoning, but there was no point in going through that much effort. This food serves one purpose, and that’s to keep us from starving. I slide one plate under the crack between the floor and the bedroom door and sit down in the living room with the other plate in hand.
The book on the coffee table catches my eye as it does every morning. Sighing, I pick up the ratty collection of pages and flip to a random one. One of the few books on the “Great Plague” as they call it, that was ever published, or at least, the only one I could ever find. Titled “The End” by Jared Kramer, It was more of a fanatical opinion piece than a proper informative book, but Kramer at least provided a bit of information on the virus, how the transformation works, and what methods could be used to, in his words, “Cure” the afflicted. A shotgun was noted as the best medicine, with gasoline and matches being a close second. Near the middle of the book, the portion that was coincidentally staring back at me from the pages, it turned into a near unintelligible ranting on the philosophy of consciousness. Apparently, Kramer had only just begun to consider whether blowing the afflicted’s brains out was a morally reasonable decision. He had never come across as a particularly intelligent guy in his writings, and my assumption was that he was simply the only person who wrote fast enough to get a book published before the plague became a worldwide epidemic. Towards the end of the book, Kramer does a 180 and states repeatedly that “Accepting the transformation is the only road to salvation”.
“Salvation... as if”
My words perish in the empty air, a death rattle of frustrated skepticism.
I had never quite understood what that actually meant. Salvation would be something like deliverance from harm, harm being the only thing that the plague brought to the world. The book thuds as I carelessly toss it back on the table. It's obvious that the author was in the process of transforming as he wrote the final passages, but they never ceased to bother me. Perhaps I'm just fixating on those words as a way of keeping my mind occupied.
There’s really no reason to focus on such pointless things.
--------------------
The following night my sleep was peaceful and uninterrupted. She usually shows up once a week, if not less frequently. After waking, the bathroom mirror reveals that the pustules ha subsided slightly, leaving my skin smooth, if not free of the noticeable blemishes. A subtle glint of light shines off of my head and my heart rate accelerates.
Surely not.
Surely it was a trick of the light.
I begin rifling through my matted hair furiously and there it is. A single, silver hair hanging in front of my forehead.
I guess this is it then.
She made sure I had sworn on everything under the sun. Her stupid goofy smile reflected in my memory.
“First grey hair and I’m outta here mister”
To think that a silly little joke between us had turned into this solemn responsibility. The steel of the revolver was cold in my palm. My eyes locked onto it, unsure of when it had made its way from the drawer of the coffee table into my hand, or for that matter, when I had entered the living room. The earth seemed to be rotating at impossible speeds. Everything was black except for the gun in my hand and the book on the coffee table. That goddamn book. One of the pages had begun to tear away from the others, no doubt a result of my less than careful treatment of the thing, and a single word seemed to assault my fragile psyche.
Salvation.
I get it now
My heartbeat slows marginally as the unravelling of this book that I’ve read so many times presented a welcome distraction. There had been nothing left for Kramer, or anyone else for that matter, in a world that was dying around them. His salvation was freedom from the great plague. His call to “accept” the transformation, was not the same as giving in to it. After all, hadn’t he expressed over and over again exactly how to “find release” as he called it, from the infection.
Kramer, unlike me, had accepted that there was no life in transformation, no being, no humanity, and no way back. His moral dilemma had come to a close, likely with a bullet in his brain.
A reluctant chuckle rose through my chest and escaped my throat. It didn’t sound like me. It was twisted, choked, and raspy. She had always known hadn’t she, that I would stay in this house with her. That’s why she had forced me to swear up and down on something as silly and inevitable as a grey hair, before locking herself in that room five years ago. Knowing her, it had all been for my own good, a way for her to look out for me even after she was long gone.
The creak of the door was like nails on a chalkboard. I laid my eyes for the first time in years on my wife, or at least, what was left of her. I had seen the afflicted before, but seeing her in this state brought a blockage to my throat that nothing could have prepared me for. Her head had been obscured by the typical growth, characteristic of the great plague, A mass wider than her torso which was completely wrapped around her head, the loose flesh sagging down onto her shoulders. Large orange boils were dotted across this mass, as well as glistening, concave pits, where those boils had burst and left scars. The thick external vein structure wrapped around it was partially translucent, providing a window to the tar-like substance flowing slowly throughout. The worst thing, however, the thing that forced my tears out of my eyes and onto the corroded floor, was her body. Her clothes had long since disintegrated, leaving a sight that was fundamentally identical to what I remembered, with one exception. The excess weight of the mass upon her shoulder had atrophied her spine, which had crumpled, leaving her torso contorted in a grotesque fashion, the flesh and muscle folding in upon itself in places.
I had let this happen. I had as good as desecrated my wife’s corpse by leaving her in this state, by convincing myself that a cure would be found for a plague that had long-since been eradicated by other means. I did this.
My hands move as though without instruction from my brain, raising the revolver to my eye-level, pointing at the place where my wife’s head was concealed amid that horrid mass of flesh.
Her head tilted upwards slightly, as if she was looking at me with eyes that had been long-since obscured. That muffled, teary voice sounded out from amidst the heap weighing on her shoulders. Despite myself hesitated for just a moment, savoring the shadow of a voice that I would never hear again.
“Do you love me?”

She is the girl of my dreams. I met her in the most beautiful way about 14 months ago and after waiting for her to say 'yes', we've been together just over a year. From after we met, our relationship has been long-distance (because we're in different countries) but the love that we've shared is beyond describable. Hundreds of hours speaking, texting, and spending time with one another...it's the first time either of us have been in love. I was upfront with her from the start that if we're getting together, we're together for life. While she had different opinions prior to meeting me, even she told me that she can't love or be with anybody else now that she has me (because she loves me, not out of force lol). She and I have the best bond; I don't know how many emails we've written each other, how many gifts we've ordered each other, how many travails both of us have gone through just to be together. She and I call each other 'husband' and 'wife'...what more can I say? All of this relationship has been us both longing for the day we get to be together for good.
Since before we got together, I had been studying in a really strict place and as a result I wasn't able to contact her much but despite all the difficulties, we maintained an incredibly strong bond. We both made many personal sacrifices in order to keep the relationship. She and I had been waiting for me to graduate because that means we'll be able to talk whenever we want. I finally graduated this April and we were both overjoyed. But to my absolute sorrow, it feels like she's less into me than ever now.
Over the past month or so we've been having certain conflicts but I'm certain it's just an argumentative phase and I reassure her so whenever I get the chance. None of our arguments ever really become fights; they often end up with her shutting down while I try to explain to her why I'm hurt or asking her to explain to me why she is hurt. About a month ago is when she revealed to me that she's been contemplating being alone which hit me like a bullet. The worst part is that she told a friend of hers (22M) who she met a couple months back. Now, I know I sound like the typical naive BF, but I know that she would never cheat. There have been instances in our relationship when she's been non-consensually kissed, but I know for a fact that she would never ever deign to be unfaithful. But she knows that this friend is interested in her and despite that she told him before she told me, which I felt was a transgression of our trust and obligation to be open with each other first and foremost. I told her about how I felt and she reluctantly agreed to be open about such feelings with me before mentioning them to anyone else, though it felt to me like a pyrrhic victory above all else because she said so as though it was an obligation to me.
Nevertheless, this topic of her wanting to be alone keeps resurfacing between us and it's become more and more of a possibility, which crushes me. I understand her point of view to an extent because she's working two jobs at this moment, while I'm in between things because I'm looking for work, having just completed my degree. Combine that with having to handle an LDR with a time difference of nearly 12 hours and it's enough to drive anyone crazy. Day before yesterday was my birthday and she surprised me by ordering me an expensive cake. I'm the one distracting her from work from time to time with my messages and calls, and yet she spends the same money she worked hard to earn on me...so I know for a fact that this girl loves me (as if everything else she's ever done for me wasn't enough), but this gift contrasts with the arguments we've been having on a near-daily basis lately, and I can tell she's exhausted from everything.
Last night we were on a call and she finally told me that she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship at all and she doesn't want to think about marriage right now. I asked her if she wants to take a break and I got the usual 'I don't know', but when I pressed further and asked if her wanting to be alone meant cutting all her friends off, she said that she would be in touch with them but not me. I asked her why it is that she tells me that she loves me and that I'm the only one she's ever loved and yet she wants to cut only me out of her life, and she couldn't answer. Moreover, when I asked her that cutting communication for a little while meant we're still together, she said that such a situation would mean that we're basically not in a relationship anymore. Despite feeling absolutely broken, I told her that I'll give her however much space she requires without us breaking up. I feel so crushed but to accommodate her feelings I told her that for the next few days, all she'd have to do is send me a 'Good morning, I love you' and a 'Good night, I love you' message. She wouldn't be obligated to send me anything else unless she wanted to. I made it clear that we're still together and that all the rules of our relationship still apply and that this is a temporary measure taken in order for her to have room to breathe, which she hasn't had because of the utter lack of time because of both jobs and our relationship in addition to the fact that she just moved to a new place for work.
Basically, my head has been totally screwed up and I don't know how to do anything I want to anymore because the girl I love, the girl who loves me, is giving me no attention at all. Just a month or two ago if I was asked whether we'd ever break up, I would've confidently answered in the negative but now I'm seriously worried. I spoke with her sister (22F) and she told me that even she is surprised but she'd speak to my GF and figure things out. I'm just so devastated by all this. I thought to come here and get your opinions. As far as my plans go, I'm waiting to hear back from her sis and give her some time to collect her thoughts without pushing things further. What do I do?

Reddit Account: u/spyraxes
Discord Tag: spyraxes
Name and House: Visenya Targaryen
Age: 54
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Visenya is a woman covered head to toe in striking features. With silver-gold hair worn braided or bound, allowing herself easy motion and vision in combat, purple eyes that stare from a harsh face with deep cheekbones and stern expressions, the Bloody Queen is a dominant figure in courtly and martial situations. Some say she bathes in blood to keep her youth, others that her rigorous training and love for battle keeps her body fit. Whatever the case, Visenya is a unique and unsettling woman.
Trait: Strong
Skill(s): Dragonrider, Swords (e), Essosi Blademaster (e)
Talent(s): Training, Glaring, Thinking Deeply About Things
Negative Trait(s): too cool
Starting Title(s): Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, Lady of Mooncrest, Mother of the True King, the Bloody Queen, Wielder of Dark Sister, Rider of Vhagar
Starting Location: Opening Event
Alternate Characters: jesus christ its day 1 dont make me alt please!
Name and House: Marsella Egen
Age: 24
Cultural Group: Valeman
Appearance: Marsella is as cold-faced as her Queenly mistress, though more prone to smiles creeping through. She is tall, broad-shouldered, with a powerful build shaped by years of training and journeying the realm. Her hair is red and cut short, her face scarred and her green eyes deep-set and surrounded by scars.
Trait: Hale
Skill(s): Two-Handed Weapons (e), Brute
Talent(s): Dancing, Drinking, Gambling
Negative Trait(s): n/a
Starting Title(s): Sworn Sword to Lae Targaryen, Heir to Mooncrest, Cavalier
Starting Location: Opening Event
—

Bio-Timeline

• 29 BC - Visenya Targaryen is born, the first child of Aerion Targaryen, Lord of Dragonstone, and his wife Valaena Velaryon.
• 27 BC - Only a few years later, the boy who would later become the Conqueror, Aegon Targaryen, is born. His betrothal to Visenya is arranged almost the moment he is swaddled.
• 25 BC - Rhaenys Targaryen, youngest of the trio, joins the family. She is the last Targaryen born before the Conquest.
• 21 BC - Visenya begins to train with Lord Quenton Qoherys, Master-at-Arms of Dragonstone, and shows exceptional skill at arms. Later on, Aegon and Rhaenys both join her in practising their swordplay. Visenya always seems to get an edge, despite their shared significant skill.
• 14 BC - Between training sessions, Visenya finds herself exploring quiet places on Dragonstone. It is during one of these outings that she comes across one of the island’s non-human occupants. Vhagar, one of the smaller dragons on the island, bonds quickly with her. It takes a few months of bonding, but Visenya quickly becomes close to the beast - and soon enough she becomes its one and only rider.
• 9 BC - As arranged many years before, Aegon and Visenya wed. It is a marriage of duty, but all know Aegon holds love for his younger sister over the elder. Visenya holds no resentment. She knows duty and love cannot always intermingle, but she will do hers.
• 7 BC - Rhaenys and Aegon marry two years later in a pivot from tradition. Visenya spends more time with Vhagar and less with her siblings in the wake of it, though her love for Aegon does not dull. She remains close with the pair even with her physical distance.
• 2 BC - After a while of planning and plotting, the three Targaryens fly forth to conquer Westeros. House Stokeworth fell to Vhagar’s flames, and Duskendale knelt to the Queen after the fall of their army in Aegon’s first test. With the lands that would later become the core of Targaryen dominion secured, Aegon was crowned King of All Westeros, a crown placed atop his head by his elder sister and his title proclaimed by his younger. As the Stormlands fall to Rhaenys, and Harrenhal to Aegon, Visenya finds herself tasked with the conquest of the Vale. After destroying the region’s fleet, though not without losing a large portion of the Targaryen navy itself, Visenya circles back to Blackwater Bay, landing in Crackclaw Point and accepting the oaths of fealty of the local lords in the wake of Harrenhal’s destruction. With the Claw pacified, Visenya flies to join her siblings once more. They take a smaller force to the Reach, to meet an army of the Gardeners and Lannisters in battle. Nearly through dragonfire alone, the armies of Reach and West crumble, House Gardener nearly becomes extinct, and House Lannister kneels to the new royal house. Visenya receives an injury in the battle, taking an arrow to the shoulder, but it does nothing to hamper her skill.
• 1 BC - In the wake of the Field of Fire, Visenya retreats to the Aegonfort to recover from her injury. It does not take long for her to return to action, though, joining her siblings at the Trident to await the arrival of a Northern host led by the King of Winter. Visenya has no qualms with burning every Northman who wishes to cross the river, but Torrhen’s surrender is a move she views as wise. With the northern border secure, Visenya deals with her only loose end once and for all. On dragonback, she travels to the Eyrie as the Queen Regent of the Vale amasses an army, her attempt to arrange a marriage between herself and Aegon a failure. Visenya’s arrival is met by the young King, who sits himself up on her lap to await Sharra Arryn’s arrival. When she turns up, Ronnel asks to fly on dragonback - and that is enough to make Sharra capitulate, handing over the crown of Mountain and Vale to the dragonrider. Visenya’s act of mercy endears her to the young king and his mother, who becomes a close companion of Visenya in later years.
• 1 AC - With the Conquest brought to an end, besides the Dornish and the Ironborn homeland, the royal family fly to Oldtown to witness the crowning of Aegon I Targaryen, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm. To gain the sympathies of the people, the Targaryens convert to the Faith of the Seven - though Visenya holds fast to her Valyrian beliefs behind closed doors, unwilling to abandon her heritage to please those who she conquered. With Aegon’s victory, King’s Landing’s construction becomes the focus of the realm. For a while, anyway. During this initial period of peace, one attempt is made on the life of the King, with Visenya putting down the assassins. Aegon believes his guards are more than sufficient usually, and she proves him wrong by opening up his cheek with the tip of Dark Sister before any of his men can respond. Not long after, Ser Corlys Velaryon is named Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, and six knights are selected to join him in an act honouring the false gods of Westeros.
  • Far from the capital, in Mooncrest, a daughter is born to Lord Lyn Egen and his wife. She is named Marsella.
• 2 AC - Once again, the peace is fractured. House Sunderland resumes their rebellion against House Arryn and the Crown, and the Ironborn continue to war with Westeros as a whole. Whilst Aegon deals with the raiders to the west, the Queen flies north and puts down Queen Marla Sunderland and her rebels, turning the hold of House Sunderland and the entire line to ash, naming House Borrell as overlords of the Sisters, and bidding them swear fealty to House Stark of Winterfell in place of the young Lord Arryn. Before returning to King’s Landing, she takes a quick stop at the Eyrie to berate the Lady Regent for her negligent handling of the situation - though she leaves with a far more forgiving stance, and perhaps a touch of regret for her harsh decision.
• 3 - 7 AC - Visenya assumes a position in the royal court enforcing Aegon’s will, assisting the Kingsguard in protecting him from attacks, and providing an intimidating presence for those who would overstep their bounds. She maintains contact with the Arryns of the Vale, letters flying back and forth to keep her friendship with the Lady Regent alive. She gives and receives advice, whiles away time writing, and promises to visit.
• 7 AC - At a feast to celebrate the seventh anniversary of the Conquest, during one of Rhaenys’ visits to Dorne, the King is attacked. Goldcloaks perform the assassination attempt in great numbers, and the force of Visenya and the Kingsguard isn’t enough to stop them from getting to Aegon and wounding him. Despite their failure to protect him, the fight ends in royal favour as Ser Malwyn Blackwood takes some of the assailants captive and Visenya tends to the fallen king. He is unresponsive but alive, and Orys promises to take care of him whilst the prisoners are interrogated. Reluctantly, the Queen agrees. It does not take long for the truth to be revealed - that House Tully of Riverrun plotted the attack, in an attempt to kill the King. It seemed unlikely that they would fail, in the end, but Visenya refused to let them see their day of victory. Only she is told, and she acts immediately, leaving the city on the back of Vhagar and heading towards Riverrun with only one objective in mind. When she reaches the castle, there is little hesitation - fire envelops the people and the structures, turning all to ash. No Tully survives, in her reckoning, and she takes the signet ring of Lord Edmyn as proof of her victory and their failure. Naming the land Aegon’s Rest, she pens a writ bestowing it upon Baelor Belaerys, a man in her husband’s service and descendant of dragonlords of old, and names Lord Lannister the overlord of the territory. She returns to King’s Landing, but her visit does not last long - when Aegon’s death is confirmed, and the Master of Laws reveals the plans to split governance three ways, she leaves for the Vale almost immediately. She only stays around long enough to have her pregnancy confirmed - an heir to the throne.
• 7 - 10 AC - It doesn’t take long for Visenya to arrive at the Eyrie, welcomed in her grief by Sharra and her children. She is visibly pregnant, and her small retinue settles in well. Most of her time is spent with the Lady Regent and the children, and the birth of her first child - who she names Laenor - is no deterrent from that. In fact, it often seems that Visenya has more affection for her host’s children than her own. She becomes almost a second mother to the Lord of the Eyrie and his three siblings. Despite her closed-off nature, she finds a constant companion in Sharra Arryn, and becomes as close to friends as she can with many others present in the castle including Lord Lyn Egen, an advisor to the Lady Regent. She splits her time between training, flying, the children, and her own heir.
• 10 AC - Ronnel Arryn comes of age, and is wedded to Serena Stark. It is an arrangement made by Rhaenys, one that infuriates Visenya to no end initially. She becomes irate at Sharra, but quickly turns around and accepts it. Their relationship remains warm and close. However, nearing the end of the year, Sharra dies. Once more, Visenya retreats into herself, spending most of the days in the sky on Vhagar’s back alone. She is convinced to return to life by the Arryn children, and continues to raise them into adulthood. Without Sharra, it is a harder task, but one she confronts all the same.
• 13 AC - Despite their devotion to the Seven, gods Visenya only considered to be hers in name, the formation of the Cavaliers brings joy to the Queen in the Mountains. She places her support behind the order, continuing her return to public life within the Vale. She takes on the duty of training the daughter of her good friend Lord Egen, teaching young Marsella how to fight. Despite their difference in weaponry - Visenya’s preference for smaller longswords versus Marsella’s for large hefty greatswords - the two get along fiercely well.
• 15 AC - When news of the tragedy in the Kingswood reaches the Eyrie, Visenya sends her condolences to the regent for the deaths under his watch. There is something cold about the way it is written.
• 16 AC - News of Dorne’s integration into the Seven Kingdoms pleases her no more than the Kingswood Catastrophe, especially when the stipulation upon which it happened is made known to her. Unwilling to dishonour the deal, Visenya ensures that she has it in writing that Laenor will one day marry the Princess of Dorne’s daughter, but she is irate over Rhaenys’ move - but also a little proud of her younger sister for outmanoeuvring her.
• 19 AC - After a long period of courting and an even longer period of talking, a wedding is held at Mooncrest between Visenya Targaryen and Lord Lyn Egen. There is jubilation, a tournament, a grand feast, and perhaps the first real smile on the lips of Visenya since the death of Sharra Arryn. It is proof that there is still a drop of the old Visenya beneath the cold, disconnected surface, that very few see. It is not the end of ceremony for the Egens in that year, as Marsella is inducted into the Cavaliers. She is sworn to protect Laenor Targaryen, too, her sibling and friend.
• 20 AC - Early in the year, after a prolonged illness, Lyn’s eldest daughter Carolei passes. There is sorrow in Mooncrest, but it is solved in part by good news. Just a year and a bit after their wedding, Visenya and Lyn’s first and only child is born, a young girl named Maegelle. She is Lyn’s third daughter, second living, and only one present in Mooncrest - Marsella left a note in the wake of her sister’s death that she was taking some time for herself in Essos and would be back when she viewed it right. Some wonder if she is participating in Orys’ plans to create closer relations with Essos, but the Egens know that is unlikely - Marsella cares little for politics and less for the enemies of her father’s wife.
• 20 - 25 AC - Visenya and Lyn remain quiet at Mooncrest and the Eyrie, engaging in politics and plotting and regular court life (moreso for the latter than the former), as Laenor becomes more and more shaped into the ruler they’re meant to become. Meanwhile, across the Narrow Sea, Marsella becomes more grizzled a warrior, serving with the Lost Legion before their arrival in Westeros, meeting the Blue Sails and their leader Helya Harlaw and joining them briefly, and taking on mercenary work across the Free Cities and the Disputed Lands for anyone who would pay for a Westerosi warrior. Her contact with Mooncrest is limited, bearing only a few words attached to packages for Laenor alone.
• 25 AC - As Laenor comes of age, and the realm at large is summoned to King’s Landing to celebrate the namedays of her and Rhaenys’ children, Visenya prepares for the worst - her sister will not move aside easily, and she knows well enough that Rhaenys might have to be forced. But there is no doubt in her mind that she is ready for it - she just prays the realm is to join her. From the East, Marsella returns, ready to see her kin and friends for the first time in half a decade. She is not the same woman she once was.

—

Family Tree

House Egen
House Targaryen
—

Supporting Characters

Lord Lyn Egen - b. 24 BC - Archetype: General - Wise and a touch ferocious, Lyn is a skilled commander and a protective father, ready to do whatever he can to protect his daughters and Visenya’s own child. Skilled enough with a sword but more comfortable ahorse or behind a commander’s desk, the man who served as Keeper of the Gates of the Moon during the Conquest and was ready to cut his teeth against dragonfire now acts as the most loyal and proud follower of the very Queen who conquered his lands, his own wife.
Lorra Egen - b. 6 AC - Archetype: Builder - Despite the martial inclination of much of House Egen, Laenor is not the only occupant of Mooncrest who has grasped numbers well. Lorra Egen is a skilled mathematician in her own right, left in charge of the finances of the castle when her distant step-kin isn’t there to run them, and often assisting them in doing so. She is prim and proper and prone to judgement, but she is kind at heart. No niece of Lyn Egen would survive not being so, in truth.