• Transphobic video using the word "tr***y"
• Referencing drag queens as clowns
• Doesn't disclose that reviews were really paid ads Edited her body for an Aerie ad, which is a brand that supposedly prides themselves on using real bodies.
• Was blocking and ignoring customers who purchased her Glamlite Paht 2 collection, never received their order, and asked about it. All of this while Glamlite was siphoning stock to CVS and also ignored customer inquiries about their overdue orders.
• Along with CVS, broke their "Beauty Unaltered" pledge by creating a display unit that is obviously filtered of the Trash Goblin’s face.
• Committed fraud by pledging that 50% of the proceeds from the Paht 2 collection would be donated to women's healthcare after the Dobbs decision. When anyone commented to ask about it, they were banned from her socials. This one is the most egregious, as there are people who might have purchased solely based on her pledge. She lied about not getting paid yet to make the donation just as the CVS distribution happened.
• She's myopic and doesn't care about her supporters, as she continually discusses her ED without the common courtesy of a trigger warning like most creators do for subjects like this. Her explanation for why she doesn't give a TW? "It doesn't trigger me, so fuck all of you." She's so disrespectful of Cody's sobriety.
• Does giveaways by making followers jump through engagement hoops to boost her profile but then didn't deliver on the giveaways.
• Begging... BEGGING.. followers on her broadcast channel to drop an emoji as a comment to inflate her engagement rate, as comments are engagement rate gold for getting paid.
• Claims she donates extra product to women's shelters, and then went on Instagram asking for suggestions on where in her area she can donate women's clothes. She's so fucking dense that she either doesn't realize the same places she supposedly donates product to is a good first start, or she outed herself as never donating before like she said she did if she doesn't know where to donate clothes locally.
• She's a terrible brand ambassador, which is on her and DBA. She went on a free Paris trip sponsored by Caudalie, and she shit talked how broken out her skin got on the trip (with the assumption she was using their products and services) and never once really hyped the brand that was paying for her to be there.
• Took money from Briogio for a campaign and at the same time posted videos about her hair falling out. She's so dumb she doesn't realize that she caused a causation comparison.
• She's lying about having clients, paying clients that aren't her friends and family. She is not a MUA or a certified in MA to do makeup.
• She brigades brands who don't do her bidding like a brat. Pottery Barn in the middle of the pandemic had shipping and quality issues. She sent her followers after them and then begged PB for more free stuff.
• She has her friends like HeartofGreg comment on her videos, which she then stiches the comment to review a product. She then takes that video and shops it to the brand to get them to sponsor the video.. and a few weeks later the video resurfaces as partner, paid partnerships, sponsorship.
• Tax fraud when handling gratis, expenses, and giveaways
• Did a giveaway for Chanel bags with Chris Appleton (Color Wow) and the Boston's Children's Hospital, which was against GoFundMe's Terms of Service. She never gave the winners their prize.
• Dogs a brand who sent her free items but then turns around and praises the brand when they pay her (She did it with Essence and KVD).
• Did a bunch of fake "pick out my wedding makeup" when she 100% knew what she was using including the fact that e.l.f. sponsored her wedding as a brand event. She says that's not true, but I can guarantee e.l.f. writes off the expenses they incurred for her wedding as a business expense.
• Lied about her YouTube page being her page. She feverously uploaded videos when she took her 5:19, baby tantrum, pity party break from TikTok but still needed to earn money. She uploaded her TikTok videos to YouTube, lied that it was her channel, and made money. If it wasn't her channel, you know she and DBA would file a cease and desist .. and win it.. to get the channel removed. It's her channel.
• Her filter usage is fraud. Period. There is no debating it. When you are getting paid to review products and apply a filter on your face and body, you are committing fraud. The viewer thinks it's the product making that effect and not really the software engineering team that created the editing app.
• With the PeeeLouish collab, they were caught pre-applying swatches from the P.Louise palette. She's also not really applying makeup in her videos. Cheeks, bronzer, and eyes are being applied off screen and she's swiping a brush making it look like she's applying it. Another sign she can't do professional makeup at all. It's all fake.
• Every ”in the wild” picture that’s not filtered shows the truth.
• She constantly lurks on other creators pages to find commenters to block when they shit talk her. Insecure much? She’ll unblock people to snark them and lurk, then block them again. We know she does this with Rich Lux.
• She supports James Charles. The grifting carnival barker loves the groomer trash.
• Community Contribution: She shits on her estranged half sister to her millions of followers, when all the evidence points to her sister being frozen out of their family at the age of 14. She claims her sister walked out of their lives because she “wasn’t the precious daughter of the family anymore” after Mikayla was born, and also talks badly about her sister for being on disability. Mikayla is an aunt to two girls, but I doubt she’s ever cared nor met them. Her sister also lived and lives right down the road from Mikayla’s parents home.
• She’s a known bully and coming from someone who’s now being regarded as an ED spokesperson. She told her friend that drinking hot chocolate would be “200 very unnecessary calories”, and that she was “just trying to help since you’re trying to lose weight” with that comment. She’s a mean girl, and she always has been.
• She cries about shade range while she brags about being soooo pale (um, really?). She releases collabs that are not inclusive for POC. She then brags about buying out and hoarding darker foundations and concealers to use as bronzers meaning the very little stock available for darker skin tones becomes even more scarce when her idiot stans buy up the product. She also blackfishes.
• She can't admit when she's wrong and aggressively lashes out to those trying to point it out. She called a comb and brush, and when corrected in her comments, she was incredibly rude to her own followers. You know, the people engaging with her content that's paying her mortgage. She is incapable of saying, "oops, my bad." Her integrity is crap for this behavior.
• Just like the above, the unwillingness to admit a simple mistake turned her into an ableist POS. There are those with low vision or no vision who listen to TikToks and rely on accuracy in speech and closed captions. Her "go fuck yourself, bro" attitude when called out about the comb incident made her incredibly ableist.
• She creates rage bait content to generate engagement gold via angry comments. This makes her a carnival barking grifter.
• She begs for engagement on her broadcast channel trying to force things to go viral like "nice and shaaaahhp." It's actually pathetic watching her do this.
• Used a derogatory term used to reference Travelers/Romani people and doubled down on it when people called her out and educated her on the use of the word.
• Lied about creating some Mother's Day shopping spree for a "family in need" saying that when she heard their story, she knew she just had to help. When asked in the comments about the story, she played the, "It's not my story the tell." Come to find out, the story is that the child goes to the school that Mikayla's mom works at. There was a raffle at the school, and one of the prizes was a $500 shopping trip with MikPickMe. The girl's mom paid for 40 entries to win the raffle, and she did. The only reason the shopping was done on Mother's Day was due to conflicting schedules. This was not a shopping spree for a family in need. It was a prize from a raffle that Mikayla's mommy had a hand in.
• MikLieHole took Rael's money and trip and went in days earlier with her emotional support animal, Codypendency, and did meetings with a competitor, Tirtir. Tirtir gifted her a Birkin while in South Korea, too.

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Content Warning: Abduction, Child Abandonment, Drug abuse, Suicide
*I do not give my permission for this post to be re-used in any other platform or forum.
I would link to my post history but I think I posted years ago with a throwaway, so I'll try to summarize here. I've been with DH for over 20 years. He went NC with his mother earlier this year after she sent him a series of text messages complaining that he doesn't call her enough, what a bad son he is, and how miserable she is. He ignored her until he couldn't anymore and then called her to tell her off. She immediately hung up on him and they haven't spoken since. She abandoned him and his brother when they were children to run off to Mexico to be with her boyfriends, kidnapped them from their father (they were literally on milk cartons). DH is still dealing with the trauma of his upbringing, his little brother became a severe meth addict and committed suicide over ten years ago. She has only met my child once. I agonized a lot over that visit and it went pretty much how I expected it...that was over five years ago and she hasn't been back to my house, which has suited me just fine!
I haven't spoken to her in years. DH told me a couple of years ago that she had changed and wanted to "apologize" to me, but couldn't for the life of her remember what she did to make me so angry (there's too much to go into it now), and I said nope, that wasn't an apology, and when she had a clear memory of the way she had treated me and wanted to be accountable for it, maybe I would reconsider my position. I told him what I really needed was not to have a relationship with her, and he agreed and then a couple years later, finally followed suit after she had a few more psychodramas and proved me right. I've never tried to pressure or convince him to go NC, I knew that was a decision he needed to make on his own, but I fully support his decision to finally cut her off. We almost never talk about her and life is generally peaceful.
Until last night. My phone dings around midnight and there is a text from a number from her state (which thankfully is all the way across the country) and I know immediately from the area code who it is. It says in Spanish "I don't have to prove anything to you," which I find weird because I don't really speak much Spanish and she knows it, and a link to one of those sappy reels, also in Spanish, the gist of which says "let them lose you… you don’t owe it to anybody to explain the great person that you are." Right on brand for her, because nothing is ever her fault. I didn't reply and blocked the number, but then after a night of no sleep, I stewed about it and finally decided to unblock her and go off via text:
"You're absolutely right, MIL! You don't have to prove anything to me. If I ever want to remember what kind of person you are, I only need to think of the last 22 years, my traumatized husband, and my dead brother-in-law. You've done an EXCELLENT job showing me exactly who you are, so please, never trouble yourself about that...I've had your number for years!
What I will never be able to understand is a woman who has managed to alienate her entire family, including her two grandchildren, burn almost every bridge of friendship possible, and yet STILL has convinced herself that she is not the problem. She will literally choose estrangement with her only living son rather than do the necessary work to heal and be accountable for her mistakes. Absolutely anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid admitting that she has behaved like an utter spoiled child and has inflicted terrible harm on the people who loved her the most. That level of obstinate lack of repentance takes some real commitment...quite impressive!
I wish you the best of luck on your desperate quest to remain a perennial victim and convince yourself that we're all crazy and none of it is your fault, ever. I'm sure you'll find an endless supply of TikToks, YouTube videos, Instagram reels, Facebook groups, and self-help books created by your fellow Boomers, so feel free to continue indulging your delusion that you are a wonderful person, but kindly do not ever disrupt my peace again to share with me. I'm simply not interested, and believe me, MIL. I see you. I don't ever need any help from you on that front."
Two decades of trying to be diplomatic, kind, and then silent were enough. I know that none of it will land for her or have no delusions that she'll do any kind of self-reflection, but it felt good to finally say it. And frankly, that's what she gets after waking me up and costing me a night of sleep! #isaidwhatisaid

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/lolfuckno.
This post was originally posted to weddingshaming.
There was already a BoRU post by u/autochthonouschimera, which didn't include the last update yet.
TRIGGER WARNING: cheating, child neglect, extreme entitledness, talk of abortion
MOOD SPOILERS: infuriating, confusing, frustrating
The new update at the bottom of this post has been marked with --- ---
EDIT/DISCLAIMER: FFS FOLLOW THE NO BRIGADING RULE = DO NOT COMMENT ON THE ORIGINAL POSTS LINKED IN BoRUs!! THIS OFC ALSO INCLUDES NOT TEXTING THE OOP DIRECTLY, NOT REPORTING THEM TO SUBS LIKE care AND NOT INCLUDING THEM IN THREADS AND DISCUSSIONS!! LEAVE THEM ALONE, THIS SUB IS MADE TO LURK AND GET SOME SPICY STORIES WITH CLOSURE, NOT TO HARRASS PEOPLE WHO ALREADY GOT ALOT OF INPUT THROUGH DIFFERENT SUBs!!
Original story was posted on December 7, 2021
Okay, so this girl I know from high school is getting married. We're both 22, for reference. In our senior year of high school she got pregnant, with baby daddy A who will be referred to as Adam. Her super conservative parents kicked her out and she ended up moving in with a friend's family. She barely graduated high school. The only reason she did were because of the generosity and support of our teachers and students who volunteered to help her, which is how we met. We were in the same law class in the morning and she had the worst morning sickness that really affected her ability to be in class. So, I took extra notes for her, tutored her, and brought her her stuff if she hadn't come back by the bell. I wasn't the only one who did stuff like this for her and I know she really appreciates all the assistance we gave her. She had the baby a month after we graduated.
She'd signed up for a 911 dispatcher course for after high school because where we live it's a good steady job, with opportunity for certificates and promotions. But she didn't realize how intensive the course would be and had to drop out. She started working at a grocery store bakery, just until she had a better plan. Adam started an apprenticeship while working part time at a hockey rink, and proposed to her literally the day of her eighteenth birthday, and brought up marriage because "it's the right thing to do" (I don't really agree with that but this isn't about me) and she was always refusing.
She started cheating on him after a while (we're all 19 now), and eventually leaves him for another guy because... She's pregnant again and it is far more likely that this guy, baby daddy B who will be referred to as Brad, is the father of the child. Neither of them can afford lawyers so getting any kind of custody agreement is a mess, and then their parents got involved and they did 50/50 split (still not made official). She has the baby, that does turn out to be Brad's, and everything is okay for about nine months, when she finds out Brad has been cheating on her with his TA. Brad decides to pay child support but doesn't really want contact with the kid, only around holidays and one weekend a month for his parents' sake.
She moves back in with her parents (we're all 20 now) who only accept her back because there's grandchildren around. On the plus side, (when she's 21) she gets to take that year long dispatcher course, and passes with flying colours!
After working as a dispatcher for a year (we're all 22 now) she meets a police officer we'll call Chad, who's 26 and married... And Adam's second (?) cousin (I can't remember how they're related, just that Adam and Chad are related somewhat distantly). She has an affair with him (infidelity is super common among cops apparently). She gets knocked up, his wife divorces him, Chad proposes because "it's the right thing to do", she accepts, and her parents kick her out again for being a [insert expletive here], she moves in with Chad with her two kids. They've started planning the wedding, which... Given the background is something akin to a dumpster fire. Adam is LIVID. He was desperately in love with this girl and hasn't really recovered from what she did to him, and while she rejected his proposals years ago, she's accepted one FROM HIS COUSIN WHO PROPSED FOR THE SAME REASON HE DID.
Adam has basically made a call for loyalty in the family, dividing everyone one who should go, who should give money, etc plus they're having trouble planning anything because of COVID. Her parents have outright said that they're not going, along with half of her family, and her younger sister has been going around and sabotaging what plans they can make.
She has asked me to be a bridesmaid, I said that I couldn't because I live in a different province now, but the truth is, I do not want to be wrapped up in that clusterfuck in any way . I'm just watching the arguments and events unfold on social media because this is quite honestly the most entertaining thing I've seen all year. It's weird to me that she even asked because we're not friends, we never have been. We were friendly strangers in high school, I just helped her out for one class because she needed help and I could give it to her. I was just being nice. But based on how she turned out I'm just sad for her. Three kids in four years, and she's alienated so much of her friends and family because if her actions, and I'm torn between feeling sorry for her and putting my head in my hands.
EDIT 1:
First off, all of your comments are hilarious. Second, I'm going to answer some of the common questions.
We're from a city with over 400,000 thousand people, she just comes from the neighbourhood that is made of either bible thumpers or white trash, with no in between. But the high school we went to was in a completely different neighbourhood than that.
Our school had a pretty good sex Ed course, and they gave out free condoms and had resources to help girls get birth control, and they had programs in place for if students ever got pregnant/were going to be teen parents (they also had one of those classes with the dolls for girls who were high risk at teen pregnancy but she wasn't high risk so she wasn't in that class) I don't if BC just didn't work for her, or if she never tried it.
She started alienating her friends after the affair with Chad came out, because people weren't exactly jumping for joy that she'd broken up a marriage (Chad and his ex didn't have any kids, thankfully, so there were less obstacles). When people weren't immediately ecstatic for her she started getting very snippy, rude, and was "calling the bitches out" on social media for not supporting her new relationship or pregnancy. (Tbh I'm really worried about her health because having this many babies so close together is just not good for her health, mental or physical.) People are also worried that Chad will cheat on her "if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you" and think she should avoid marrying him so that she can just leave him if it happens.
I'll give you updates as they come out, but so far it's just a lot of yelling on social media (mostly from her), some relatives slut shaming her, and people who are just really worried about her because, as funny as this is, this doesn't seem like healthy behaviour.
EDIT 2:
First off, I realized I never gave this girl a name. For the sake of clarity we'll call her Beth. I realize that I didn't mention this before, but all of these are fake names.
Second, to everyone commenting that Chad is at fault for his marriage breaking up, believe me I'm well aware of that. It is his ex wife and her family/friends who solely blame Beth. Chad is also older than her and has more life experience, so I do believe that he could potentially be taking advantage of her naivete. However, she is also an adult who is capable of making her own decisions and has chosen to make poor ones in the past.
Third, people who are upset that I'm posting this story here, claiming I'm humiliating her. She has been posting about this mess on every social media platform she has since they got engaged in July. She put this out there long before I did except she did so in front of friends, family, employers, and coworkers, as well as internet randos.
Fourth, despite getting engaged in July and attempting to start planning then, I was only asked to be a bridesmaid three days ago. I knew that there was a mess going on but I didn't really pay attention to it until she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I tried to ask what was going on, I said that she should talk to someone, but when she completely brushed me off I checked her FB and Instagram and found out about all of... This.
Fifth, I realized that I didn't really talk about how disastrous the wedding planning has been going, see here you go:

• they've had to rebook three times because venues and vendors kept cancelling when infection numbers got worse even thought their wedding was months away
• Beth has been flipping between having the wedding while she's pregnant saying she's proud of her bump, and wanting to wait until they're born because she feels fat, which is unfortunate because she's been breaking down due her insecurity on a public platform
• Beth is currently seven months pregnant
• Beth's great aunt was going to give her her wedding dress to wear (after she gives birth) but Beth's mom freaked and stole the dress from said aunt before Beth could get it and is now keeping it, the great aunt says she's too old to get in a fight and has shrugged it off
• Chad's immediate family is paying for the wedding and has been cut off by the rest of their extended family for 'choosing Chad'
• Beth's wedding colours are pink and green, which is usually a nice combo but the specific shades don't go great together, they're her and Chad's favourite colours, which is fine but she literally made a video talking about these colours for 14 minutes on her insta and both of her kids are just full on bawling in the background and she's ignoring them and she's gotten some flack for that
• Adam is finally settled into his trade and has now hired a lawyer and is trying to get primary custody and not allow his daughter to go to the wedding
• she's planning a zoom baby showebachelorette party and has sent out a registry and she's asking for crazy expensive things
• she's also set up a go fund me to help pay for a honeymoon and is making a lot of posts about how no one loves her cause the fund only has $1267 of the $20k she wanted

I'll update when I can but I'm still in school and while I do want to help her, she's refused help offered in the past and there's only so much of this I can take mentally right now.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
UPDATE:
Hey everyone, so some stuff has gone down, and it doesn't look like it's over yet. Sorry, I didn't update sooner, but Rona came back with a vengeance and totally messed up plans with uni and family. Anyway, onto the update.
From the last update - 16th - Lots of ranting and chaotic wedding planning on social media, she found a dress and has decided she will get married while pregnant, they found a local wedding venue that is very lovely, but I'm shocked she's still trying to book stuff with all of their previous venue cancellations.
December 16th - Her little sister unblocked her to call her a s*ut and tell her that all her wedding plans were stupid. This resulted in a petty and entertaining facebook war until the little sis blocked her again on the 17th.
December 18th - Beth went nuts on social media because Adam had "kidnapped" their daughter, what really happened is that because courts are moving at a snail's pace due to COVID and Adam had reason to believe that their daughter was not safe living with Beth he decided to just... Not give her back. They don't have a custody agreement, and when Beth tried to call the cops they couldn't do anything because he was kinda right. There were dozens of videos on her various social media accounts of her ignoring their daughter, yelling at her daughter for crying or doing other things that toddlers do, it turns out that everything she needed was bought by Adam, food, diapers, clothes, toys, daycare (while it was open) etc. on top of the unofficial child support he was paying every month (which turned out to be $500 a month, a number I find ridiculous because Adam was already paying for literally everything) because she refused to buy anything for her daughter and insisted it was Adam's responsibility. Additionally, after the immediate post-birth appointments, Beth never took baby A to a doctor's appointment, she always deferred that to Adam. Baby A's pediatrician has NEVER met Beth. Beth even tried to get Chad to push back or intimidate him or something, but the local police where we live are under one hell of a microscope after a bunch of dirty cops got busted a couple of years ago. Basically, the cops, and the social worker they ended up calling, ended up saying there was nothing she could do until they get to court. The social worker tried to get her to go to therapy and parenting classes, but Beth refused and went on a fifteen paragraph long rant on Facebook about how she doesn't need parenting classes or therapy (she really, really does though) and called the social worker some choice words.
December 19-24 - Just a bunch of ranting on social media, calling everyone who doesn't enable or justify her behaviour cuss words, slurs, and a whole bunch of other horribly creative things. Also, both she and Chad are under investigation at work now, but she has no idea why. I'm gonna take this time to remind everyone that 99% of this info is coming from her public social media pages where her coworkers are friends and place of employment is listed.
December 25 - I am officially embarrassed to know this woman. I didn't go on her FB page until the evening cause I didn't want to deal with drama, first thing in the morning, on Xmas. In the morning she put on a very beautiful blue maternity dress, got Chad in his police blues, and baby B in a purple romper, and then live-streamed her and her family going to the courthouse to get married on Christmas day. (According to her Twitter, part of this was because their newest venue cancelled on them after COVID numbers spiked) Overall, a pretty tacky thing in my opinion because she stated plain as day, several times, that she intended her wedding anniversary to eclipse Christmas for her children because it's just "so much more special, you know?" (I am so glad that Baby B's grandparents are filing for guardianship) But here's the thing... The courthouse isn't open. Because of COVID for one thing, but also because it's Xmas and Canada has a predominantly Christian history. She proceeded to have a full meltdown, and when Baby B cried because, y'know, the kid's mom was screaming up a storm and scaring her, Beth called her a c*nt. Yup. So done with this bitch.
December 28 - I ran into her at a vaccine clinic cause we were both getting our booster shots. She didn't recognize me at first but one of my old bosses (cause I used to work at the hospital the vaccine clinic was in) called my name and said hi, so she came up to me after my old boss had left. We talked a bit while we sat down for the mandatory waiting period after getting the shot. She asked how I was but didn't even wait for me to respond before she started ranting and complaining about her life. I was just going to sit there until the time was up and then just politely make my exit, but when she started talking shit about her kids something inside me snapped. I just said "Do you even like your kids? Do you like being a mom?" She got pretty quiet for a second and then said "no". Idk, her voice and demeanour completely changed and we just sat in silence until our time was up. I said goodbye but it was really awkward.
December 31st (today) - I just looked at her feed and, this is such a shocking what-the-actual-f*** moment. She's thinking about giving up her kids. She went on about how recently she was asked if she liked her kids or being a mom, and how she realized that she didn't. She hates her children and blames them for ruining her life, and how she doesn't want to be a mom. I mean, nothing is official yet, but what the hell?!
I'll update as stuff happens now that I have the time, but this whole thing has been a big giant mess. Also, sorry for any formatting or grammatical errors, I'm not used to using Reddit on my PC.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
UPDATE
Okay, so, some stuff has happened and most of it's good? Also, the TL:DR for this update will be at the bottom
Jan 4th - Beth (and Chad) stopped posting on all social media. I was actually a little worried she died, I mean this woman posts everything short of her trips to the bathroom on IG.
Oddly enough, this got people messaging or interacting with her social media pages because she was usually the one to start contact, and that contact was usually yelling. No one heard from them and some people started to be like "should we call the cops for a wellness check?" Until Chad posted a status saying that they're fine but are "busy, please stop trying to contact us right now". Everyone listened but it was weird.
Jan 11 - I got a notification that Beth and Chad are active on social media again, but I didn't feel like drama so I didn't check out any of their posts.
Jan 12 (today) - she messaged me on FB asking me to be her MOH. She also kept going on about the resort in Cancun that she and Chad were looking to have their wedding at... This coming February. Omnicrom is really bad where we are, so no one should be travelling anywhere. I've actually had to delay my trip back to the province where I go to university. No one should be travelling anywhere.
Beth also found out that Chad was cheating on her with one of her co-workers and called the woman a "homewrecker" on FB tagged her, and posted the texts she found on Chad's phone. But Chad is the "love of her life" so she's forgiven him, but not the other woman. Which I find very hypocritical, considering how she and Chad got together.
She also sent pics of possible bridesmaid dresses and they are the most hideous dresses I've ever seen. I know that some brides do that thing where they want to look a million times better by comparison but this was just ridiculous. One of them looked like a partially deflated balloon with feathers strapped to it. She also openly admitted that she expected everyone attending to pay 3k, 2k would go towards that guest's stay at the resort and 1k would go to her and Chad and they will expected wedding gifts, so that they could get their room for free. Apparently, she talked to someone at the resort and if she got enough people to book their rooms she and Chad would get theirs for free. She also wanted the money to be given to her instead of directly to the hotel so that people wouldn't realize that she was taking 1k of their money. Beth sent me a pic of the wedding dress she wanted, and it's definitely a clubbing dress. If that's what she wants that's fine (and for the record I do think she would look great in it, Beth's (current) dream wedding dress ) but she wants all the guests to be dressed black tie. And she's already sent a list of unreasonable requests. Such as;

• all women must wear heels (for a wedding in the beach???)
• no one is allowed to have a baby or be pregnant (really?)
• girls must have longer than shoulder length hair, boys must have very short hair, only and inch or two long
• no one is allowed to be skinnier than her
• she will be providing diets for everyone attending based on how she wants us to look
• she and Chad must get bachelor and bachelorette parties both in Canada and in Mexico that need to be "fit for a king and queen" and both must be paid for but anyone but the bride and groom "cause that's just tacky"
• no unnatural hair
• no tattoos (you have five tattoos, Beth, and in the dress you want all will be on full display)
• no one is allowed to talk to her directly, they must speak through the MOH and BM

Honestly there's a lot more but I didn't feel like typing all that out. She's posted the list on FB and IG and people are already calling her a bridezilla.
I was also just kinda weirded out because aside from the previous convo at the hospital and when she originally asked me to be a bridesmaid, we haven't spoken since high school. So I respectfully declined, stating that the virus and school were my top concerns right now. Then, I decided to check her socials to see if she'd posted anything. She had and everything was basically how it was before the hiatus... Except her kids are nowhere to be found. No "look at my cute baby" pics are kids crying in the background of her videos. Nothing. Though, based on her new pics of herself, she's given birth to baby C. I mean, she's definitely still recovering, but she also definitely had a baby and that baby is not on any of her socials, so when she responded to my decline with an attempt at guilting me to be her MOH, I asked her where her kids were. This was her response.
"Oh, I left them at the side of the road in our way home from the hospital those moochers could walk home lol"
I was like, please tell me you're not being serious (especially cause it looks like she had the baby days ago). And she replied "I was just joking you shouldn't be so serious all the time". Honey, you made a joke about child abandonment/abuse, you're not being serious enough. And then I finally got the update on the kids.

• Baby A is still with Adam, Beth signed away her rights
• Baby B and Baby C have been given to a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad who is infertile (tbh I didn't need that last tidbit of info or the three paragraph long rant about how God hates infertile women, I didn't even read all of it, I couldn't, and I didn't think that Beth could be so cruel to even think those things). I checked out the FB page of Baby B's grandparents and they're happy with their grandchild's new parents, it looks like the cousin and her husband and welcoming them to the family as another set of grandparents and will let them have access to B. So yay!
• One thing I do need to stress though is that because of COVID the courts in our areas are either moving at a snail's pace or closed, so none of this is "official" but Beth (and Chad) has signed paperwork and all that needs to happen now is presenting that to a judge.

And when I rejoined our convo she said the doc she had for baby C gave her brith control, and she was surprised cause after her first pregnancy she asked her doctor for it but he refused to give her any. She mentioned that her old doctor was also her mom's and sister's doctor, she ended up asking the doc who delivered baby C to be her new doctor, so I hope that works out.
After learning all this my convo with Beth started to go down hill...
Beth: wait, did you actually think I would just leave my kids at the side of the road! I just didn't want to be a mom, but I wasn't a bad one
Me: Beth, I think that you've been through a lot of trauma in the past few years, and that it's gotten to you mentally and that you should speak to a professional.
(Of course, Beth has been a bad mom, but she does need mental health help and I wasn't going to convince her to get it, or to not tell at me, if I said that )
Beth: what? You think I'm crazy?!
Me: no. I think that getting kicked out as a teen because of a pregnancy and having your family actively reject you and try to sabotage you must have been very painful. Plus, pregnancy puts a lot of mental stress on women and you've had three in such a short time span, I just want you to take care of yourself and get what you want in life, and I think that will start with you taking care of your mental health.
Beth: what I want... IS FOR YOU TO GO STRAIGHT TO HELL! Beth then calls me every cuss word, expletive, and derogatory word she can think of one of the words she called me was a derogatory word about people from my ethnicity and my blood is boiling that she thought it was okay to say that to me.
So, I'm now on her hit list. She's been blowing up my social media all day, on her last FB post where she called me a slur she said that she still expects a good wedding gift from me. Yeah, no. So I've blocked her on everything, and I've decided to completely cut off contact. This will be my last update.
TL:DR - Beth went on a social media blackout for a bit, had baby C. Gave up all her kids, baby A is still with Adam, Baby B and Baby C are with a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad and baby B's grandparents have access. Chad cheated on her and she forgave him, but she probably shouldn't have. She's decided to have her wedding in a little over a month in Cancun and is expecting unreasonable things of everyone already. She asked me to be MOH I respectfully declined. I also suggested that she talk to a mental health professional because she's been through a lot in the last few years and she cussed me out, she also called me a derogatory name directed at people of my ethnicity and that was the final nail in the coffin. I'm now on her hit list. But her kids are safe and I have no interest in going to wedding so I'm cutting contact completely and have already blocked her on all my socials. I'm refusing to be involved with her anymore and will not be updating on the situation.
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--- EDIT - NEW UPDATE --- - JANUARY 25, 2023 - TL:DR AT THE BOTTOM
Hi, everyone, I didn't think I would be making another update, but here I am. I don't know if anyone will even care but whatever. I saw a YouTuber, Charlotte Dobre, do an entire video about this post on Facebook (which was funny, she did it well), [editor's note: here's the video in question and also: check out Charlotte Dobre's subreddit !] and got so nervous that Beth was gonna see it. Turned out, she's seen it and does not give a single damn, because as I pointed out, the majority of the info in this post came from her public social media. She also doesn't know who posted it (more on that in the update). I am still no contact with Beth and have no plans to change that anytime soon, but we have mutual friends who have told and shown me what's happened.
First things first, she and Chad did get married, but they eloped. According to all sources they are completely and utterly miserable though. Chad has proven to be and overall lazy and unfaithful husband, and Beth has really gotten into feminism (with a focus on reproductive issues) after she started using birth control, and Roe v Wade getting overturned (even though we're in Canada) really caused tension in their marriage. As it turns out, Chad thinks that abortion is murder and God created women for the purpose of making babies.
Beth tried to argue that not all women want or should be mothers using herself as an example, and then Chad went ahead and used her as an example of why women should be forced to have kids, because in the end she gave kids to an infertile couple. She didn't take that well and said that her entire life and future was ripped away from her and destroyed the second she got pregnant with baby A. Adam was never slut shamed or demeaned like she was, both at home and at school (which is a fair point, myself and many others were helpful and supportive but there were a lot of people who judged the hell out of her and said really nasty stuff) and that if she hadn't gotten pregnant she would've gone to college or university because she lost the general and financial support of her family with that positive pregnancy test. Chad has made a Tinder account. Beth was informed but it doesn't seem like she gave a damn.
So basically you could cut the tension with a knife.
And with her family, her sister came out as gay and cut off/has been cut off from their parents. But she's got a partial scholarship so she's doing okay. She and Beth are NOT on good terms but have met up and acknowledged that their parents messed them up by being religious nuts and their parents encouraged them to be competitive with each other and sabotage each other. Apparently their dad's motto is "competition brings out the best in everyone" (ugh). But they've talked and that's good enough for now.
Neither Beth nor Chad have custody or visitation of their children, which Chad is starting to regret because he's suddenly getting more and more into the church and religion. Chad talked to Beth about getting baby C back but Beth shut that down hard and warned the cousin who adopted baby C (officially and legally btw).
Beth started going to therapy after she and Chad got married, which makes me very happy and excited for her.
There was a rumour going around that Chad has a mistress and it took me a while to confirm, but it's true. He's cheating on her with a paramedic and she knows. Beth is fully aware. Idk if she plans to do anything about it or just continue to ignore it, but I hope she leaves his ass. I'm still not gonna talk to her, she crossed so many lines, but she's grown and improved a lot and her life would be a lot better without that sac of scum in her life.
Now, I have given a few details in my post that should've revealed my identity to her, namely her asking me to be her MOH. I have found out that she actually asked around 15 girls (including myself) to be her MOH, without telling any of us about the others because she was trying to get money from all of us and because her mental health has just been very bad and she needed help. And of those 15, 8 have been going to school out of province and of those eight we all had basically the same classes in high school. And apparently doesn't remember our discussion at the vaccination clinic and had major blow up with everyone she asked to be MOH. So she knows it's one of 8 people and reportedly has no interest in trying to narrow that number down. (Chad did the same thing with his groomsmen, but idk any of the numbers)
TL:DR Beth and Chad got married (eloped), are miserable, have zero custody or visitation with any of their children, Chad's cheating and Beth doesn't appear to care, Chad is super sexist, Beth is a feminist now, Beth's sister is gay and they've talked but not reconciled, Beth asked too many girls to be MOH for money and doesn't know the ID of who made this post.
Dear "Beth", if this post gets forwarded to you or somehow graces your phone screen, leave Chad. He's trash and you'll be much better without him in your life. And though I'm not willing to talk to you again because of your words and actions, I do wish for you to have a wonderful and happy life.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Please remember the NO BRIGADING RULE: do not comment on the original posts linked in BoRUs, see Rule 7. Doing so can result into a permanent ban from this sub and the other linked sub(s).
I'm not the OOP!

This is a long story. I'll try to make this as short as possible. Long story short. My parents divorced shortly after I was born. My father was a cheater and a known pathological LIAR. My mom found out he was cheating on her and lying about EVERYTHING. His job, where his family lived, not having kids etc. It's crazy. Even my own family members KNOWS he lies. They never liked him just based off the fact he never been there for me and disrespected my mom.
He left my mom completely broke. Took out all the money out both joint and her bank account. Right after I was born and left.
He has NEVER tried to spend time with me. Reach out to me. Locate, Call, text, email, letters, video call. Nothing. Even tried to get child support reduced because he claimed he couldn't afford it. My mom and had to go downtown to fight her case.
So, I grew up with a single mother working long hours. Trying to pay for everything. Trying to give us the things she never had. I Also grew up knowing my father had one other child. Another girl. But, didn't know her name, or where she was located. An older sister by just a few months. He was sleeping with her while married to my mom. The woman knew but slept with him and had his baby.
Fast forward I am in elementary school on the school playground and I have my half sister come up to me and says "Hey my name is M and I'm your sister". Me being lost, confused and nervous I run up to my mom and tell her. She goes to her mom and they talk about my dad and how much he is a liar. I guess we lost contact. I was only like around 8-10 years old. Fast forward again. I am a junior in high school. Preparing for my senior year. Stressed, trying to pass all my classes, soon to graduate, my great grandmother passed. I'm in my room and I get a knock at the door. It's my OTHER sister. Come to find out she is older than myself and the other sister "M". She is the oldest. She lived right around the corner from me and my mom all this time. My mom bought the house in 2004, but moved out 2012. I have no idea how long they lived around the corner from us but I'm assuming longer. But we went to two different schools. Because, I went to the public high school at the time and she went to a private Catholic high school. She claimed the neighborhood kids would be mistaken calling her my name and said I looked just like her. She asked them who were they talking about. Her and her mother went to the school and opened the school book and saw a class photo of me, and the kids told her where I lived. Still doesn't quiet make sense to me. Idk who told her how I was her sister. But whatever. Anyway, her and her mother comes in my mom house she talks to me. We exchange numbers. Her mom talks to my mom. Talk about DNA tests and all that. I tell her about "M". Her and her mother didn't even know about "M". Because once again my dad lied to her mom about not having kids. Not surprised. So, a few months go by. Myself, older sister and "M" are trying to hangout. But conflict comes. Because we are all 3 different women, raised by 3 different women in 3 different households. To be honest "M" has always rubbed me the wrong way. By her demeanor. I could never really bond with them based off their lifestyles and personalities. Unfortunately. My sister's had to learn do I don't like conflict and since I was trying to get to know them as was trying to look up to them. I took a step back and focus on my mom side of family and get my own personal priorities straight.
My younger brother (by my mom) and I grew up together. We would argue sometimes but we always love and respect each other. But, we always been mature. Anyways, one day my other sister. The oldest goes off on me through text. Because I wasn't really responding to her text or hanging out with her a much as "M". Something along the lines of "if you don't want a relationship with me then don't contact me. blah blah blah" I was so confused. I honestly didn't know how to respond. I was so annoyed as well. Because just because Im not as engaging doesn't mean I don't want a relationship. Sigh. So I text her back telling her. This is not how to start a sisterhood, to not yell at me and all. I ignore her. Go off to college. Transfer to another college. Run into her while waiting in line for financial aid. She sees me. Sits next to me, GOES OFF on me in public. I was shocked, embarrassed, angry and I wanted to cry. Everyone was looking at me. I left and walked on foot to visit my uncle who just had a stroke at the time and tell my granny. She recommended I leave both my sister's alone. I take her advice. Around 2 or 3 years later, my oldest sister knocks on my mom door. My mom lets her and "M" in. They wanted to talk to me and apologize. A few years later for their behavior. I was too uncomfortable to come outside. I felt they broke my heart and pushed me up against the wall. The oldest sister tell my mom "if she wants to talk she is going to have to REACH OUT TO ME". I didn't. I felt my heart will be broken again.
Another few years later and I'm sitting in my room watching a YouTube gameplay on my phone and I get a phone call around 7pm. I answer it. Claiming to be "M" my sister. She says my old landlord gave her my number. She been looking for me. She throws out so much info to me. How our older sister is getting married and had a baby, and wants me in her wedding. I was surprised. How herself "M" has kids. Was engaged and didn't work out. They both got in contact with our father and has his number. I'm surprised. Also, if I wanted his number I could have it. I mostly didn't respond as I am taking all this information in and trying to process all this. She brushed how they first treated me as "well we were young. We didn't know any better". So, she starting pressing me for information. Information I did not feel comfortable disclosing to her. As in 1. Why contact me years later? 2. Did you guys reach out to our dad? Because he never claimed or wanted us. Plus he is a known liar. 3. The caller ID confused me. So many questions I had. Plus as I stated before they broke my heart and I don't trust them. I was trying to guard myself and my heart. Once she asked me where I lived I told her I didn't quite feel comfortable giving all that information out and she SNAPS, GOES ballistic on me. Saying I am just like my mom. Once she starts disrespecting my mom. I tuned out. I didn't listen anymore and says nothing. She says for me to have a nice life. Hung up and blocked me. Unblocked me. Sent me a screenshot of her messaging my dad saying I was nothing but mean to her and I didn't want to meet their kids. My dad says Which is a lie! When I barely said a word. As I was trying to process what she was even talking about. Once again I was hurt. Message me and says I'm going to "forever be alone android" and blocks me again. Sigh. I cry. Heartbroken again and feeling no matter what I do or say is used against me.
Years later again. Here we are: today. My mom works at a mental hospital and calls me. Says remember you told me what happened between you and your sisters? My oldest sister is in the mental hospital. Facing 2 charges and her aunt lied on her and may lose custody of her son. She may have to give custody to her mother.(She is still in contact with our father)Also, that she wants her sisters, and wants me call her.
I come from a huge family and grew up with a younger brother. I've made peace with my family I grew up with. But also learned about self respect, boundaries, healthy relationships and just overall growth as a woman. Learning to use my voice, to speak my mind and truth and not tolerate disrespect from anyone. I love everyone. I don't hate anyone. Even the ones that wronged me. I learned to pray. Let go and let God.
Honestly at this point. Idk what to do. I feel like on this rollercoaster ride and forced to be the little big sister all over again. I don't want to be hurt and pushed up against the wall. Again. I'm tired and this is a lot. A lot to take in. Once again.

This is a long story. I'll try to make this as short as possible. Long story short. My parents divorced shortly after I was born. My father was a cheater and a known pathological LIAR. My mom found out he was cheating on her and lying about EVERYTHING. His job, where his family lived, not having kids etc. It's crazy. Even my own family members KNOWS he lies. They never liked him just based off the fact he never been there for me and disrespected my mom.
He left my mom completely broke. Took out all the money out both joint and her bank account. Right after I was born and left.
He has NEVER tried to spend time with me. Reach out to me. Locate, Call, text, email, letters, video call. Nothing. Even tried to get child support reduced because he claimed he couldn't afford it. My mom and had to go downtown to fight her case.
So, I grew up with a single mother working long hours. Trying to pay for everything. Trying to give us the things she never had. I Also grew up knowing my father had one other child. Another girl. But, didn't know her name, or where she was located. An older sister by just a few months. He was sleeping with her while married to my mom. The woman knew but slept with him and had his baby.
Fast forward I am in elementary school on the school playground and I have my half sister come up to me and says "Hey my name is M and I'm your sister". Me being lost, confused and nervous I run up to my mom and tell her. She goes to her mom and they talk about my dad and how much he is a liar. I guess we lost contact. I was only like around 8-10 years old. Fast forward again. I am a junior in high school. Preparing for my senior year. Stressed, trying to pass all my classes, soon to graduate, my great grandmother passed. I'm in my room and I get a knock at the door. It's my OTHER sister. Come to find out she is older than myself and the other sister "M". She is the oldest. She lived right around the corner from me and my mom all this time. My mom bought the house in 2004, but moved out 2012. I have no idea how long they lived around the corner from us but I'm assuming longer. But we went to two different schools. Because, I went to the public high school at the time and she went to a private Catholic high school. She claimed the neighborhood kids would be mistaken calling her my name and said I looked just like her. She asked them who were they talking about. Her and her mother went to the school and opened the school book and saw a class photo of me, and the kids told her where I lived. Still doesn't quiet make sense to me. Idk who told her how I was her sister. But whatever. Anyway, her and her mother comes in my mom house she talks to me. We exchange numbers. Her mom talks to my mom. Talk about DNA tests and all that. I tell her about "M". Her and her mother didn't even know about "M". Because once again my dad lied to her mom about not having kids. Not surprised. So, a few months go by. Myself, older sister and "M" are trying to hangout. But conflict comes. Because we are all 3 different women, raised by 3 different women in 3 different households. To be honest "M" has always rubbed me the wrong way. By her demeanor. I could never really bond with them based off their lifestyles and personalities. Unfortunately. My sister's had to learn do I don't like conflict and since I was trying to get to know them as was trying to look up to them. I took a step back and focus on my mom side of family and get my own personal priorities straight.
My younger brother (by my mom) and I grew up together. We would argue sometimes but we always love and respect each other. But, we always been mature. Anyways, one day my other sister. The oldest goes off on me through text. Because I wasn't really responding to her text or hanging out with her a much as "M". Something along the lines of "if you don't want a relationship with me then don't contact me. blah blah blah" I was so confused. I honestly didn't know how to respond. I was so annoyed as well. Because just because Im not as engaging doesn't mean I don't want a relationship. Sigh. So I text her back telling her. This is not how to start a sisterhood, to not yell at me and all. I ignore her. Go off to college. Transfer to another college. Run into her while waiting in line for financial aid. She sees me. Sits next to me, GOES OFF on me in public. I was shocked, embarrassed, angry and I wanted to cry. Everyone was looking at me. I left and walked on foot to visit my uncle who just had a stroke at the time and tell my granny. She recommended I leave both my sister's alone. I take her advice. Around 2 or 3 years later, my oldest sister knocks on my mom door. My mom lets her and "M" in. They wanted to talk to me and apologize. A few years later for their behavior. I was too uncomfortable to come outside. I felt they broke my heart and pushed me up against the wall. The oldest sister tell my mom "if she wants to talk she is going to have to REACH OUT TO ME". I didn't. I felt my heart will be broken again.
Another few years later and I'm sitting in my room watching a YouTube gameplay on my phone and I get a phone call around 7pm. I answer it. Claiming to be "M" my sister. She says my old landlord gave her my number. She been looking for me. She throws out so much info to me. How our older sister is getting married and had a baby, and wants me in her wedding. I was surprised. How herself "M" has kids. Was engaged and didn't work out. They both got in contact with our father and has his number. I'm surprised. Also, if I wanted his number I could have it. I mostly didn't respond as I am taking all this information in and trying to process all this. She brushed how they first treated me as "well we were young. We didn't know any better". So, she starting pressing me for information. Information I did not feel comfortable disclosing to her. As in 1. Why contact me years later? 2. Did you guys reach out to our dad? Because he never claimed or wanted us. Plus he is a known liar. 3. The caller ID confused me. So many questions I had. Plus as I stated before they broke my heart and I don't trust them. I was trying to guard myself and my heart. Once she asked me where I lived I told her I didn't quite feel comfortable giving all that information out and she SNAPS, GOES ballistic on me. Saying I am just like my mom. Once she starts disrespecting my mom. I tuned out. I didn't listen anymore and says nothing. She says for me to have a nice life. Hung up and blocked me. Unblocked me. Sent me a screenshot of her messaging my dad saying I was nothing but mean to her and I didn't want to meet their kids. My dad says Which is a lie! When I barely said a word. As I was trying to process what she was even talking about. Once again I was hurt. Message me and says I'm going to "forever be alone android" and blocks me again. Sigh. I cry. Heartbroken again and feeling no matter what I do or say is used against me.
Years later again. Here we are: today. My mom works at a mental hospital and calls me. Says remember you told me what happened between you and your sisters? My oldest sister is in the mental hospital. Facing 2 charges and her aunt lied on her and may lose custody of her son. She may have to give custody to her mother.(She is still in contact with our father)Also, that she wants her sisters, and wants me call her.
I come from a huge family and grew up with a younger brother. I've made peace with my family I grew up with. But also learned about self respect, boundaries, healthy relationships and just overall growth as a woman. Learning to use my voice, to speak my mind and truth and not tolerate disrespect from anyone. I love everyone. I don't hate anyone. Even the ones that wronged me. I learned to pray. Let go and let God.
Honestly at this point. Idk what to do. I feel like on this rollercoaster ride and forced to be the little big sister all over again. I don't want to be hurt and pushed up against the wall. Again. I'm tired and this is a lot. A lot to take in. Once again.

Does anybody know when (about) the Geoblock will be lifted on the full semi final performance?
I've seen it on TV, but my mother who doesn't have a TV licence is yet to see it. She'd prefer not to see the clips individually as she'd miss the hosting parts in-between. (Though if the Geoblock goes on much longer, she'll concede that she has no choice but to see the clips).
It's been more than 24 hours since SF1 ended so it's no longer a live performance on the BBC. I know it unblocks at some point because last years shows are viewable on YouTube. But I'm wondering if there's a chance of this year becoming unlocked before the final.
My mother is trying to avoid spoilers, and also, we desperately want to be both up to speed to we can talk about it. Her two favourites are that keep swapping are between Ireland and Sweden (closely followed by Switzerland). So I particularly want to show her just how well Ireland is doing as I know she'll love the performance.
(And before anyone comments this. She lives too far away from where I live for her to pop to see it on TV with us live or on catch up).

I was here a while back asking about how to block YouTube properly on an iPhone (I came to the conclusion that it’s almost impossible to do it comprehensively without significant negative side effects even with supervision/profile because of how iOS handles blacklisting of domains).
I currently have YouTube and Instagram domains blocked under the “adult content” filtering system (which means I have to deal with the annoyance of occasionally unblocking a domain that isn’t actually “adult” and got caught in the crossfire). This doesn’t prevent me from downloading the apps, which I could do with Configurator, but so far is being avoided purely due to my intense hatred of the iPhone apps and reduced control over the content (ads and such): I used both in browser with filtering/blocking on.
I’ve since realised that it’s almost immaterial, however, because I will simply find another way to inject dopamine blasts into my eyes: if it’s not YouTube then it’s Instagram, and if I block both of those, I try BlueSky, and when I realise that’s not doing it for me, I end up here on Reddit even though I am very much Not A Reddit Person in general. This is quite likely to be highly correlated with the prevalence of ADHD traits that have recently (finally) led to me going through a diagnostic assessment process to see whether I am going to be formally diagnosed or just told that I have traits but it’s not considered severe enough to actually diagnose and treat (another thing piling on the anxiety is how determined the doctor seemed to be to not end up at an ADHD diagnosis).
I have a lot of anxiety about the way my career is going which is of course adding to the difficulty of engaging with it which only makes the problem worse. The only thing that seems to keep me away from the doomscrolling pit of despair is good/engaging things happening IRL, which lately isn’t going so well and I am not finding it to be something I am effective at enforcing for myself (yes, perhaps I should simply “touch grass”, but that too gives me anxiety about task avoidance and is harder work and less instantly gratifying than sitting scrolling bullshit on the internet for seven hours).
I’m going to see if I can also block Reddit, and find out if having access on my computers is still enough of a problem if I get it blocked on my phone. I wonder what my next life-wasting distraction will turn out to be? 😅
If you have found yourself falling into similar patterns and managed to figure out any coping mechanisms, what did that look like?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Nearby_Volume_7067
WIBTA for dumping my girlfriend after she ignored my calls and messages and went clubbing while I was undergoing emergency surgery.
Originally posted to AITAH
*Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU *
TRIGGER WARNING: neglect, negligence and ignoring serious health issues, major medical emergency
Original Post Apr 25, 2024
I 22M, and my girlfriend, 22F have been together for 5 years.
We've been together since high school, and until recently, I've always considered her to be my future wife. I've even bought a ring and was planning on proposing over the coming months.
Well, last weekend it was my girlfriend's best friend's birthday. She and her friends booked a private lounge at a club. Obviously, I didn't go since 1. I wasn't invited and 2. I hate clubbing or anything associated with that. I was actually looking forward to spending an evening alone and just binging Netflix or something. Well, my gf left around 9 pm, and I just crashed on the couch and watched some YouTube. Well, around 11 pm, I started to feel this distinct stomach pain. The same pain you experience when someone hits you in the nuts. It wasn't bad at first, and I just thought my body was playing some tricks on me, but in the span of about 5 minutes, the pain just kept getting worse until I was basically stuck in the fetal position on the couch. Again, initially, I just thought the pain would go, but then I pulled down my pants, and it felt like my right testicle was starting to swell.
The moment I tried to get up and grab my phone to inspect whatever the fuck was happening to me, I just collapsed to the floor. That was probably the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Imagine being pelted in the nuts over and over again. I did manage to crawl to the table next to the couch to get my phone. I immediately tried calling my gf, but she declined my call. I then texted her that something was wrong and she could come home immediately. The club she went to is like a 5-minute walk from our apartment. I just put the phone down and started throwing up because of the pain. After throwing up for like a minute, it felt like the pain started to cool down a bit, and I grabbed my phone again, and that's when I saw her response. She just replied with a "What is it? 😒". I tried calling her again, but as expected, she just declined again. I then texted her that I need to go to the hospital now. She then asked for what, and I just replied with my balls hurt. I then just dialed for emergency services. I explained my situation to the emergency responder, and she asked if there was somebody that could drive me to the hospital, and I stupidly said yes. I thought my gf would be home soon, and she would drive me to the hospital. I felt embarrassed to call an ambulance because my "balls hurt." After I told the emergency responder this, she then told me that she would call me again in 10 minutes to make sure I was being driven to the hospital. I then put down the phone and went back to vomiting on our carpet. Again, after the pain went away for a bit, I checked my phone and saw that my gf just responded with laughing emojis. I again tried to call her, but as expected, she just declined again. She texted me that this wasn't the time to play games, and she then told me that if I texted or called her again, she would block my number. I again tried calling her, but she declined again, and when I tried calling her a second time, I realized she actually blocked me.
I went back to curling up on the floor, and now I started shivering. At this point, I didn't care about being embarrassed and just called emergency services again and asked for an ambulance. It felt like an eternity, but the ambulance eventually came and rushed me to the hospital. I don't remember much of surgery since I was sedated, but I remember waking up eventually, and my right testicle was being stitched together. The doctor informed me that I had a testicular torsion, and I was extremely lucky to reach the hospital in time. I could have easily been forced to surgically remove my testicle.
I checked my phone and saw the missed calls and messages my gf left me. In summary, she came home from clubbing and smelled the vomit in our apartment. When she saw the vomit on our carpet, she got mad and tried searching the apartment to find me. When she realized I wasn't there, only then did it hit her that I was actually being serious. I just texted her in which hospital I was staying in and my room number then went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and saw my gf sleeping on a couch next to my bed.
After she woke up, she started bombarding me with apologies. She thought I was joking, that I was trying to ruin their night, etc. I didn't have the energy to argue, so I just kept quiet. I was beyond hurt by what she did, and I wanted to break up with her then and there. Why the fuck would somebody ignore messages where their partner is begging them to come home? Not only that, she stayed in the club until 3 am and didn't even consider going home to check on me. She did stay with me in the hospital for the remaining two days I was admitted there and did take good care of me, but I was still beyond pissed at her. Ever since coming home yesterday, I've been wanting to dump her, but at the same time, I feel like she genuinely thought I was joking and made a mistake. I feel conflicted and don't know how to proceed in this situation.
WIBTA if I dumped her? Am I overreacting?
How would you guys navigate this mess?
Edit:
Just to clarify. No I never had an issue with her going out in the first place or have ever pulled pranks for her to come home from a night out.
And btw thank you guys so much for the support. Im beyond blown away.
Update Apr 28, 2024
First of all, I just want to thank all of you for the amazing support. It's been quite overwhelming, to be honest. I have so many unread messages, so please, guys, give me some time 🙏. I promise I'll respond to all of them.
Here is the link to my original Post: https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1cbea7w/wibta_for_dumping_my_girlfriend_after_she_ignored/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
First of all, I would like to clear up some misconceptions brewing in the comment section of my last Post.
No, I have never pulled any malicious pranks on my girlfriend to get her to come home early from a night out or anything, neither do I have an issue with her going out (as long as she doesn't come home at like 6 am). And no, I've never blown up her phone like that while she was out with friends. We usually go out together since we share the same friend groups.
Here are mine and her messages from WhatsApp in order since people thought I just texted her "my balls hurt" or something (translated)

1. Me: declined my first 2 calls (her name) please come home something is wrong.

​

1. Her: ??? can't talk rn. What is it 😒

​

1. Me: Tried calling her again. I need to go to the hospital.

​

1. Her: ???? What

​

1. Me: Again tried calling her twice. My Balls hurt. Please come NOW. Something is wrong

​

1. Her: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

​

1. Me: tried calling her again twice after calling emergency services.

​

1. Her: I swear don't bother me again or I'm blocking you. Let me fucking enjoy my night out.

​

1. Me: Tried calling her again twice and got blocked. (At this point, the pain was too bad to try anything with her anymore and I just called an ambulance)

​

1. Her next message after unblocking me at 2 am: (my name) Why the fuck is there vomit in the living room and where the fuck are you? Why is the front door unlocked if you left somewhere?

She then went into a full mental breakdown as she realized I was being serious about going to the hospital (over 70 messages)

• Yes, it was stupid of me to expect her to drive me to the hospital since she was drinking, but again, In that type of pain, you don't think clearly. I think I needed her more for moral support and I did it out of pure instinct.

​

• Not immediately calling an ambulance was also stupid of me. I was in a lot of pain, but stupidly at the time thought that whatever I was going through would eventually calm down and driving to the hospital would be better than calling an ambulance. Also, in hindsight, me being embarrassed about calling an ambulance over "my balls" was definitely also really stupid.

​

• The amount of mental gymnastics some of you did in my comments to paint me as some sort of dweeb or "emotionally needy" person for bothering my gf was truly mind-blowing to me. I promise you if my gf was in my position and I ignored her, none of you would be defending me.

Now for the update. Thank for all those who wished me a speedy recovery. I'm doing much better now. Not being able to go to work for the next 3 weeks is definitely a bummer. I work for my dad's construction company, and my job requires lifting a lot of heavy weights. I'm also prohibited from having any sex for the next 2-3 weeks as well. I might have also developed some trauma due to the pain. I randomly get the same sensation again, and it's driving me nuts (see what I did there).
As for me and my gf. It's complicated. As so many of you and my mom told me, 5 years is definitely a long time to be just throwing away without having a proper conversation with her. So I did just that. I told her how hurt I felt by everything. I mentioned the following points.

• Her ignoring my messages and declining my calls (yes clubs are loud but where I'm from there are smoking areas where you can definitely have a conversation over the phone.)

​

• Blocking me after I tried calling her.

​

• Her not checking on me once even though the club she went to is only a 5-minute walk from our apartment.

​

• Her being angry about the vomit instead of being concerned.

After hearing that she got defensive and told me that I could have conveyed my situation better and that she genuinely thought I was joking. She was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly. She also told me that It couldn't have been THAT painful and I was over exaggerating. I then told her yes I could have phrased my messages better and I apologized for that but I then described the pain I was in and told her that I barely had the strength to text her, let alone send her a detailed description of what was happening to me and definitely couldn't think straight throughout everything.
After hearing what I said she started crying and apologizing for what she did. She told me if she knew how serious it was, we wouldn't have been having this conversation. She then also apologized for her being mad over the vomit. According to her she was drunk and tired and was just expressing frustration. I then asked her why she thought I was joking and if she was cheating on me because this was seriously out of character for her, hence why I immediately trusted her with this. She started crying harder and she looked like I just slapped her in the face. She told me that she just thought I was being insecure about her being in the club with a bunch of guys and no she wasn't cheating on me and would never do something like that. We then hugged for a solid 10 minutes after that.
The next part was really hard for me but I told her I need some space to gather my thoughts and told her she needs to stay with her parents for the time being. She immediately started having a mental breakdown and asked If I was breaking up with her. I told her I wasn't sure and needed time to see If I still trusted her after all of this and what she did was beyond disrespectful. How could I trust someone with my life after they pulled something like this? I then told her that we are young and this mess was mostly caused by our immaturity, this entire situation was an important life lesson for the both of us regardless if we stayed together.
After begging a bit more she then put her head down and started packing a few essentials. Before leaving she told she would be willing to do anything to make up for this and that I could take as much time as I needed. She then gave me a big kiss and left. That was two days ago and this is where we currently stand. I still give her updates on my healing but besides that we don't contact each other.
I'm really torn right now. I still don't have that trust in her but her owning up to her mistake shows that she knows she fucked up and is remorseful. This is definitely something out of the ordinary for her, but there will have to be major boundaries and new rules set. I can think of the following.

1. If she blocks me again for anything = blocking herself from ever seeing me again

​

1. Ignoring my messages will not be tolerated anymore

​

1. If she goes out alone again, she has to pick up if I call regardless of the situation

​

1. As many of you suggested having an emergency code like "hospital" or something would probably have to be implemented.

I'm not going to abuse any of these boundaries but I just want peace of mind knowing that my partner has my best interest at heart even when she is physically not around me but idk.
Again I just want to thank you guys for everything and this whole experience was definitely an eye-opener for me.
Should I get back together with her? If yes, would my demands be reasonable and could I add something more?
WIBTA if I dumped her over this whole saga?
EDIT: I don't know what happened to the bullet points in my post. Seems to be a weird bug or something.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Dipshitistan

I have no idea if she was (is) cheating or not, but that fact is also fully irrelevant to the situation. You literally cannot trust her in situations where you could be seriously ill; that is the most basic level of expectation in a serious relationship. That all suggests to me that you aren't really in a serious relationship. Not in her eyes, anyway. Time to make the goodbye permanent.

OOP

Thats my biggest concern with everything.

~
Commenter

Do you still love her? Would you be able to forget the past and start fresh from here, and never bring up the incident again? As for your rules, 1 and 4 are good. The other 2 get you into controlling territory. If you have to go that far to save a relationship, is it even worth saving?

OOP

Ok thank you for bringing that up to my attention. I love her to death. Weve been best friends for 12 years and have been together for 5. Ill try everything to make this work. Edit: If I choose to get back together with her, wich as it stands now is unlikely.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I’ve been a long time lurker with some success here and there. Was watching a video on YouTube that worded things in a way that made everything seem much simpler than how the Law comes across.
My current understanding of the Law is as follows: You’re not changing the 3D - there is nothing you can do by force or will to alter it. Instead what you’re changing is your conception of things (be it yourself, something external to you - people or things - or the relation between yourself and an external thing). When we change how we see and feel things to be, that creates the changes we then experience in our 3D.
So it’s not about looking outside of us for proof of change (eg. looking to see if the sp has unblocked us or if our bank account shows a higher number) but looking at how we think and feel about things. Once we’ve changed how we think and feel, then things will change.
However, we shouldn’t change our thoughts in order to GET something - this mindset can cause anxiety and attachment to an outcome (for me anyway). Instead, it’s being unbothered by what happens outside of us, and instead focusing on how we think/feel within.
Am I correct? Any advice appreciated xx

22-minute read to cover the latest developments in Armenia beyond headlines.

Azeri public continues to discuss the possible return or exchange of Armenian exclave Artsvashen currently under Azerbaijani control

Context in Monday news digest. A ranking member of Azerbaijani parliament suggested returning Artsvashen to Armenia in exchange for the Azeri exclaves, or swapping them so each side can keep what it currently controls. An Azeri analyst called it dangerous to allow Armenians to return to Artsvashen because he believes it would make the entire territory of Azerbaijan "up to Ganja" vulnerable.
AZERI JOURNALIST (Fatima Movlamli): There are currently [Azeri] military positions near the entrance of the village [Artsvashen]. Although the local population is not strictly checked upon entry and exit, some control appears to be in place. The army checks "strangers". The village is also observed from far away. All the houses are empty; they are crumbling. There is no one around. The only people you see are nearby villagers who take their cattle to [Artsvashen's] pasture.
NEARBY AZERI VILLAGER: I visit the [Armenian] village to feed my cattle and my family. If they give it to Armenians, it will be my end. This is our source of bread, and these areas will no longer be safe for us. Many of us rely on these territories for a living. There is total unemployment and none of us have other jobs. We will have to emigrate if they give this village.
NATIN JAFARLI (ReAl party): There are two reasons why the village was not populated [by Azeris, after the capture in 1992]. The first is for legal reasons because Armenia could claim it's their land and demand compensation. There are also socio-economic components that have forced the population to migrate to Baku over the past 30 years. If there was a normal socio-economic policy, there would be no migration. It's not easy to create social infrastructure in Bashkend [Artsvashen] for natural reasons. If we decide to swap the enclaves, then referendums must be held in both countries. Can you imagine the Armenian police or army marching 30 kilometers deep into Azerbaijan? It doesn't sound realistic. The same about Azeris entering the exclaves inside Armenia. How will you guarantee the population's food, banking, communication, gas, etc.? It doesn't seem realistic.
ELKHAN SHAHINOGLU (Atlas research center): Even if Armenians return our 4 villages [presumably within Azeri exclaves], it will be difficult for Azeris to live in them because we will be forced to reach the villages through Armenia. The same is true if we transfer [Artsvashen] to Armenia. Therefore, I believe this issue can be resolved if the lands are exchanged.
AZERI RESIDENT: I used to work as a nurse in [Artsvashen]. I remember how I attempted to save the lives of the soldiers who captured it. I don't want it to be returned to Armenia because I'm concerned that the same events will repeat. Nothing good will happen if Armenians return here. This place connects Shinikhi to the entire Ganja region. Should we allow Armenians to stand between the two? I'm 65 so the future generations will have to live here but no one will dare to come if they hear about the presence of Armenians.
source,

Azerbaijan is still reluctant to include the Almaty Declaration in the final peace agreement despite the April 19 separate agreement to use it for border demarcation

FM MIRZOYAN: Recently we agreed that the demarcation should take place on the basis of the Almaty Declaration and the Regulations of the border commissions should also refer to the Almaty. This is one of the principles, and if we manage to include Almaty in the peace agreement, then we will get very close to a final resolution. Our neighbor is still reluctant to make a clear reference to the Almaty Declaration in the peace treaty, which is a more comprehensive document.
The second issue is with the unblocking of communication routes. Armenia is ready to become a part of the international transit route. The Crossroads of Peace will benefit Armenia and the entire region. Turkey and Azerbaijan would also benefit by connecting East and West. If this is implemented, it will be another interesting way to connect the Persian Gulf countries with the Black Sea economic region.
QUESTION: You froze your participation in CSTO. Do you plan to join NATO?
MIRZOYAN: We do not want to be part of a dysfunctional mechanism [CSTO]. But we are still a CSTO member so it's necessary to take steps to make it function; we are discussing the issues on the AM-RU agenda. Simultaneously we have launched a process to strengthen AM-West relations and to diversify Armenia's economy.
source, video,

interview with Azeri opposition activist-in-exile Arif Yunusov

REPORTER: Azerbaijan had long refused to use 1991 Almaty for delimitation but on April 19 they agreed to launch the process based on Almaty. Why did they change their position?
YUNUSOV: Because of the problems Aliyev developed with the West. When Blinken makes a phone call, that means extensive work was done prior to the call. The issue of sanctions raised earlier this year was also raised after months of work. The collective West is pressuring Azerbaijan. We have entered the decisive phase of the West-Russia confrontation. The physical fights are taking place in Ukraine, while diplomatic wars rage in the South Caucasus.
Russia attempted on several occasions to destabilize Armenia's internal stability by using Azerbaijan but their efforts have failed and there hasn't been any serious escalation on the AM-AZ border. Pashinyan was not exaggerating the possibility of a war in Tavush a few months ago; there was indeed a real threat. However, the likelihood is much lower now and Azerbaijan has given its approval to launch the delimitation process. The ongoing delimitation process is part of the effort to regulate AM-AZ relations and push Russia out of the region.
REPORTER: Blinken spoke on Sunday with Aliyev and Pashinyan. I'm under the impression that this AM-AZ delimitation, despite being called "bilateral", is actually being moderated by the US.
YUNUSOV: Absolutely agree. Aliyev has a lengthy history of rejecting many Western efforts and being close with Putin, so the fact that he didn't reject it this time indicates serious pressure from the West. By the way, Aliyev became president in February but Biden hasn't congratulated him yet. For Aliyev, it's very important to receive a congratulation personally from Biden.
The US is moderating this process step-by-step. This process began in 2022 when Pashinyan recognized Nagorno-Karabakh as part of Azerbaijan; that was part of the US plan to normalize AM-AZ relations. Under this plan, Azerbaijan announced the formation of a commission to "integrate" Nagorno-Karabakh Armenians. Obviously, it all changed later and the US officials began to raise the issue of Aliyev being too close to Russia and about a need to pull him away from Putin. It appears the US is gradually getting what it wants because the US's role in this demarcation process is huge.
REPORTER: Is this also why Azerbaijan asked Russia to withdraw its military base from Nagorno-Karabakh? Was it under the US pressure?
YUNUSOV: I'm not entirely sure about the full details behind their withdrawal. I don't even know if they are truly being withdrawn because there is a motive to calm the Azerbaijani public that's anti-Russian.
There is also the fact that Russia was unable to deploy those peacekeepers on the AM-AZ border and push out the EU border monitoring mission from Armenia. Russia attempted to achieve this in December 2023 during a meeting in St. Petersburg but Pashinyan rejected Putin's efforts. Moreover, Pashinyan said that Armenia is no longer interested in the fate of Russian peacekeepers in Nagorno-Karabakh and that this topic must be resolved between Russia and Azerbaijan. This was followed by Pashinyan's order to remove Russian agents from Yerevan's airport by August 2024. So Russia's effort to pressure Armenia with the hands of Azerbaijan has totally failed.
It's a strange situation, the withdrawal of peacekeepers. We don't know how many were removed and how many remain. I do not have information that the US pressured Azerbaijan to remove the Russian peacekeepers. [audio cuts off] The US is only strong when there is Armenia, during meetings, and we tend to receive information whenever Armenia is part of a negotiation process, whereas Azerbaijan-Russia talks are more secretive.
It appears Russia is withdrawing the equipment first because they need it ahead of the May offensive in Ukraine, before possibly a wider withdrawal by September.
Regarding the demarcation of the AM-AZ border, Russia understands that if the parties reach an agreement, that could mean the end of Russian presence in the South Caucasus. The AM-AZ border is a geopolitical issue. Russia will publicly formally welcome the delimitation efforts but it's not in their interest.
REPORTER: Why is France silent about the April 19 delimitation agreement?
YUNUSOV: France has adopted the correct position. First of all, Western states coordinate their policies [including on delimitation], but in each region, each Western state takes up a different position. For example, on the Ukraine issue, France provides support to Ukraine but the main locomotive is the US. In the South Caucasus, it's the opposite: the US provides the moderation efforts while the main locomotive - in this case, support for Armenia - is France. There is a crisis in FR-AZ relations. So France doesn't want to hinder the delimitation effort by intervening; they let the US handle it. There is currently an anti-French hysteria in Azerbaijan. The French endorsement of the AM-AZ delimitation agreement would be a big blow to the process.
full,

ruling party rejects opposition's motion to conduct the AM-AZ border delimitation based on 1993 "de facto" borders instead of 1991 Almaty borders

Context and debates in April 23 news digest. The opposition is against delimiting borders with the 1991 Almaty maps.
The opposition accuses the ruling party of serving Turkey's interests while the ruling party accuses the opposition of attempting to derail the 1991 delimitation process so they can drag Armenia into a new conflict before bringing the Russian "empire" as a savior to establish their rule in Armenia.
One thing that struck the ruling party's nerves was the opposition's narrative that "Armenia ends where the Armenian soldier stands". The ruling party believes that this principle is both dangerously expansionist [in the case of 2.5 Azeri villages] and would also endanger the fate of occupied Armenian lands. "We have a clear border with Azerbaijan, and it must be reproduced on the ground," said a ranking ruling party MP. Yesterday the government said over 50% of the task was done on a section of the Tavush-Gazakh border.
In response to the opposition's accusations that the ruling party serving the interests of Azerbaijan by "surrendering lands", a ruling MP accused the opposition of pressuring the government to surrender a corridor to Russia and Azerbaijan.
RULING MP: Mr. Sharmazanov [ex-president Serj's party] routinely says the quiet part out loud. At first, he spoke about the need to give a corridor [to Azerbaijan and Russia, via Syunik], and more recently he made another fantastic statement. Sharmazanov said "a homeland is eternal while a state is variable. The state's borders can expand or shrink." This stems from their mentality that today they are MPs of the Armenian parliament but tomorrow they could just as easily be Russian Duma MPs, representing the Armyanski Oblast. This is the clash of values: a stable state with borders vs. a "homeland" with variable borders. For us, the Republic of Armenia is irreplaceable and the independence of Armenia is non-negotiable. //
source, video, source, source,

the independent TV & radio regulator was summoned to parliament to report the 2023 activities

REGULATOR: Last year the broadcasters under our watch operated freely, without government intervention. The TV outlets stated that they were not pressured or obstructed by any branch of the government to limit their freedom of expression.
The issue persists with misinformation and hate speech, but our 3-year-long monitoring reveals that this negative content has been significantly reduced in public multiplex. This positive trend has multiple reasons, including our Committee's fight against the abuse of "freedom of speech". This type of negative content has, by in large, moved from television to the internet and social media.
We are strongly against the government's electoral code amendment that required private media outlets to allocate a limited number of free hours to candidates during electoral campaigns. How is this different from requiring gas stations to provide free gas to candidates? The media outlets are deprived of hours that they could use to generate income.
We've been calling for reforms in the law regulating the media. The 2020 law on liberalizing media regulations is a welcoming change. The field is free, with minimal intervention from the Committee (regulator) or the government.
However, this liberalization also endangers Armenia's media security. For example, foreign channels broadcasted over Armenia's public multiplex and cable often spread content illegal under Armenian law and against the Republic of Armenia's interests. The law does not grant the Committee enough powers to curtail this. At the moment, the Committee has jurisdiction over public multiplex TV and licensed radio channels only. This creates an uneven competition field with channels broadcasted over the net, which do not have to follow the same rules. Under European directives, a minimal level of regulation of internet content has become a requirement for European countries. We advise the government to follow European practices.
The public often wonders what share of cable TV content is in Armenian or made in Armenia. Our research reveals the content based on the country of origin: Armenian 71 (vs 68 last year), Russian 174 (vs 167), European 75, American 38, Other 15. As you can see, relevant parties should take steps to increase the share of Armenian content.
We have very important progress in another metric: Armenian-language programs aired over Armenian channels, nationwide or in Yerevan. The Armenian-language programs accounted for 95% of the air. This includes foreign content translated into Armenian or with Armenian subtitles.
2018: <60%
2020: 79%
2021: 81%
2023: 95%
We have progress in another important area. Over the last 3-4 years, on the public multiplex, the share of partisan ideological content has been gradually replaced by content more beneficial to the general public. For example, (1) we now have a sports program that promotes the development of local sports and provides coverage of local events. (2) We have a family channel called Noor available in Yerevan. Despite some challenges and flaws, they are doing their best to establish themselves as a family channel. (3) We have an educational channel Bun. (4) We have a music channel Dar21.
By in large, the public multiplex still falls short of delivering what we envisage. We believe the time has come to adopt a new state strategy on media to prevent a crisis. We could have a crisis because the state has too many regulations and not enough incentives to allow channels to use their slots to generate income and produce quality content.
We fear that during the next auction for slots in 2027, several slots could be left uncontested, which could pave the way for the entry of propagandistic channels or clearly weak channels unable to deliver quality content. If the channels fail to generate income, they could also be sold to foreign buyers. Therefore, some channels could begin to serve the interests of foreign states and serve foreign propaganda to Armenian citizens.
We advise the government to...
(1) reduce the number of channels on public multiplex. It's an unreasonably high number for a country size of Armenia. Fewer public multiplex channels means each channel would receive more ad dollars, which would raise the quality of content.
(2) establish a media assistance fund to incentivize quality content over the public multiplex.
How do we monitor media channels for compliance? The monitoring phase lasts 2 months per year. In Lithuania and Georgia, it's 1 month. The rest of the time the monitoring is done by NGOs, the public, and other institutions.
We penalized 34 companies for broadcasting pirated content. This is a shamefully high number. There are unfortunately companies that do not respect intellectual property. The only option left is to ramp up the enforcement. The atmosphere of impunity among channels is driven by the fact that the size of the penalty is only $130, which is a lot less than what they'd spend on obtaining the rights to the content.
We've been enforcing rules more vigorously, and in 2023 alone there were 64 administrative proceedings. In comparison, between 2011-2018 there were a total of 17 such proceedings.
2011-2018: 17
2021: 84
2023: 64
Reasons for administrative proceedings: copyright violation, illegal ads, content harmful to children, gore & violence, cussing on air, failure to meet the minimum threshold of 20% for certain types of content, etc.
In December we made a decision to suspend the re-broadcasting of [Russian] Sputnik Radio for a month. We were accused of violating their free speech [by Armenia's opposition factions], however, the radio's leadership visited Armenia, apologized for their content, and agreed to exclude the violating show [Kremlin propagandist Tigran Keosayan] from their programming aired in Armenia. We lifted the suspension.
Once again, the Committee reminds that it will suspend any foreign outlet that broadcasts content that spreads hatred towards the Republic of Armenia or its people, interferes with Armenia's internal affairs, questions Armenia's sovereignty, or engages in provocative actions.
Along with increased enforcement, we also have more complaints filed against our decisions in courts, which shows that the enforcement & appeals process is functioning freely. Sometimes we lose these trials. We learn and gain experience.
We recently signed the first-ever agreement with a country outside Eurasia. The agreement with friendly Argentina's state media agency will allow Armenia's public channel to film a big սերիալ.
The Committee is cooperating with the high-tech ministry to use AI in our work to save resources and raise efficiency.
ASSYRIAN-ARMENIAN MP: The law requires television to provide content in the Assyrian language. Similar programs exist for Yezidis but not Assyrians.
REGULATOR: The law requires the content to be either in Assyrian language or about Assyrian culture. The latter requirement was met.
ASSYRIAN-ARMENIAN MP: But we would like to hear content, speech, in Assyrian language.
REGULATOR: We want to do that by requiring local television channels [presumably where Assyrians mostly live] to provide content in Assyrian language, rather than requiring the public channel to broadcast that content nationwide, because the vast majority of nationwide consumers would not be able to consume content in a language they do not speak. It should be more targeted. Assyrian subtitles on public nationwide channels are also an option so submit your suggestion and we'll negotiate with H1.
RULING MP: I welcome your decision to take action against [Kremlin's] Solovyov and Keosayan for their anti-Armenian and anti-Armenian Republic content, but people wonder why you don't take similar measures against others, like [Kremlin's] Kisilyov. What have you done in this regard and what suggestions have you sent to the high-tech ministry?
REGULATOR: Our Committee has the authority to suspend re-broadcasted radio channels, as in the case of Sputnik, but we cannot suspend television channels. We can only send complaints to the high-tech ministry so they can take action against TV channels based on the AM-RU interstate agreement. We have been frequently sending reports to our high-tech ministry, and after 3 years of inaction, they finally decided to take steps recently. You already know about their actions against Solovyov's content. The ministry is working with Russia to replace the [empty] Solovyov timeslot with other cultural or entertainment content. You can forget about Solovyov. As a reminder, this program was banned in Armenia not for being "anti-Armenian", which is a vague term, but for violating specific laws of Armenia. They often call for violence, incite steps to launch a war, etc. Even Armenian channels are not allowed to broadcast such content. We need to revise the AM-RU interstate agreement to grant the Committee more powers to regulate foreign channels as well. In the future, we should entirely ban all foreign channels on Armenia's public multiplex.
RULING MP: What is Shoghakat TV, who owns it, and does its content meet the requirements? [It's the channel operated by the church]
REGULATOR: Shoghakat was formerly called a religious-cultural channel. Under the new law, it must broadcast cultural-educational content; its genre legally is not religious-cultural. A recent study shows that the share of religious content is too high and it must be reduced by raising the share of cultural-educational programs to meet the requirements. The channel is receiving funds from the state and must therefore meet the cultural-educational programming requirements.
RULING MP: In other words, Shoghakat is a public channel, at least in part financed by the taxpayers, and does not provide the content it is legally required to? Religious content is not a bad thing but we must be mindful of the state resources.
REGULATOR: It's co-financed by the church and state. Shoghakat is also operating from a building owned by the church, and not the public TV.
OPPO MP: Isn't it time to also regulate the TV channels' social media accounts on Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok? They get more views than the content aired over the public multiplex. Children consume dangerous content on YouTube and TikTok. There are countries that are attempting to regulate it. Can Armenia do this? There are also unlicensed channels on the internet that spread whatever they want. How do we regulate all of this?
REGULATOR: This morning the EU's Ursula von der Leyen announced the possibility of banning TikTok in the EU. The same about the US. Even the most democratic states restrict platforms that pose a danger to their societies. It will be expensive to technologically restrict these platforms in Armenia but we must consider any measure that would protect the Armenian society. Armenia is falling behind the EU directives in terms of content restrictions.
OPPO MP: Today a 9-year-old boy sees as many naked girls in one day as the world's richest sultan throughout his whole life. This is going to have a negative impact on children. The same about narcotics. When are we going to amend the law to regulate this?
REGULATOR: In the case of the 9 y/o boy, the most important institutions are the school, parents, and the surrounding environment. As for regulating the media field, I've been saying this for 4 years and this appears to be a bipartisan issue so let's get together and decide how to regulate it.
RULING MP: Under the existing media regulation law, foreign companies are not allowed to operate a cable service in Armenia. Why is Rostelecom able to operate? Should we lift the ban on all foreign firms or should we ban Rostelecom?
REGULATOR: I believe they meet the requirement by not owning over 49% of the company shares. I believe 51% of their shares belong to an Armenian resident company. In their defense, Rostelecom has voluntarily banned Solovyov's show in Armenia.
full report, source,

անախորժ միջադեպ պառլամենտի բակում

The bodyguard of Armenia/ARF MP Levon Kocharyan, the son of ex-president Robert Kocharyan, is accused of punching and knocking down a journalist in the backyard of the parliament building after the outlet's criticism of opposition churchman and his portrayal as a corrupt agent of Russia.
REPORTER (Davit Levonyan, civic.am, affiliated with ruling party): After finishing an interview with a ruling party MP, I noticed that Levon Kocharyan's assistant/bodyguard Arthur Sukoyan was waiting nearby. He approached me and asked to speak for 2 minutes. I asked my operator to stand a bit further from us so we could talk. The bodyguard attempted to provoke a fight. He was unhappy about my opinion about churchman Bagrat [the co-organizer of the opposition's road closures in Tavush] and he said my actions were blasphemy. I said dear Arthur I have the right to free speech and I don't force my opinion on others, and that he can express his own opinion and that I don't really care about his opinion. He went on to escalate it into a physical fight in a way to present it as "two boys fighting" rather than hooliganism. He began to cuss at me. I said, "If you think I'm that type of person then I can say the same about you". I never punched him, knowing well that it was a provocation. He punched me and knocked me to the ground. I got up and cussed at him but chose not to fight. I told him that "you and the likes of you will answer for this". I wanted to verify whose assistant he was so he said Kocharyan's, and he invited me to his office to "settle the dispute". I told him to get the hell out of here and that he will answer later pa lyubomu.
QUESTION: Were there witnesses and is there a video recording?
REPORTER: My operator witnessed it and it was in front of the parliament building's security cameras. //
The alleged suspect, Arthur Sukoyan, is the son of Judge Alexei Sukoyan whose duties as a judge were terminated by SJC last year for "severe violations".
OPPO MP (Mher Sahakyan): That guy has no right to be called a journalist because I've seen his video [about the opposition churchman] and as a Christian Armenian, it's prosto unacceptable for me. Are you telling me you can describe a representative of a church any way you like and not answer for it? //
MP Mher Sahakyan himself was arrested last year after punching a ruling party MP and forcing him to get stitches.
What was the outlet's report that angered Kocharyan's bodyguard? The outlet accused the churchman of serving Russian interests and owning a meat production business in Tavush. A fact-checker has found that the churchman is indeed reported as a 25% shareholder of the company but the company says the churchman hasn't received profits. The ruling faction accuses the church of unethically using the church's media resources to advertise the "churchman's meat business".
source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source,

PM Pashinyan hosted the European Commission's Director-General of EU Neighborhood and Enlargement Negotiations

Pashinyan considered the AM-EU-US high-level meeting held in Brussels on April 5 as key and emphasized the need for effective implementation of the agreements reached.
Koopman noted that the European Commission is ready to contribute to the implementation of the priorities of the Armenian government to strengthen the resilience of Armenia and its economic growth.
Koopman expressed confidence that Armenia-EU relations will continue to develop and expand dynamically. The interlocutors discussed a wide range of issues related to Armenia-EU cooperation.

... On Tuesday Armenia, the EU, and Germany signed an agreement to reduce the Armenian rural population's reliance on imported Russian gas

They want to help low-income villagers and municipal buildings of Tavush, Shirak, Gegharkunik, and Syunik provinces to switch to solar energy. It will include solar water heaters, etc.
EUROPEAN COMMISSION rep.: The EU-Armenia relations are stronger than ever and the EU's dedication to Armenia is reflected in the agreements reached on April 5 in Brussels. This is a 3-year program worth €12.5 million.
GERMAN EMBASSY: Why not use the sun's energy for daily activities? Yesterday we noticed on our faces and skins how powerful the Armenian sun is. [please SPF 100 yourselves]
source, source,

World Bank’s Board of Executive Directors approved a $116 million program for Armenia to enable reforms aimed at promoting green, resilient and inclusive development

It includes a $100 million loan from IBRD and a $16 million grant. This budget support will help the Government of Armenia to build climate resilience and reduce vulnerabilities to future shocks, as part of the 2021-2026 plan.

It includes actions that will fortify anti-corruption measures by implementing a robust framework with a whistleblowing system and gift monitoring mechanism for public servants. Further, it is aligned with the Paris Agreement.

source,

Azerbaijani regime arrested another pro-democracy activist as part of a crackdown on an independent outlet

Mammadli, the head of the Election Monitoring and Democracy Studies Centre, had his home raided by the police and was detained on Monday on charges of smuggling.
EUROPEAN UNION: This detention is the latest in a series of arrests of independent journalists & activists, and a matter of concern for the EU. All those imprisoned for exercising their fundamental rights should be released.
UNITED STATES: We are deeply concerned about the ongoing arrests of representatives of the Azerbaijani political society, in particular, Anar Mammadli. We call on the government of Azerbaijan to immediately release all those unjustly arrested. We continue to call on the government of Azerbaijan to respect the human rights and fundamental freedoms of all.
source, source,

Armenia's Ambassador to the US Lilith Makunts met the experts of the US-based analytical center RAND that recently advised the West to provide defense assistance to Armenia and not to pressure Armenia to cut all ties with Russia prematurely

Ambassador Makunts presented the latest developments in the AM-AZ peace process and the Crossroads of Peace logistics process.
source, source,

Hungary is blocking the €10 million military assistance to Armenia

Context in April 17 news digest. Hungary is so far preventing the transfer of European Peace Facility resources to provide Armenia with a mobile field camp capability for a battalion-size unit, including a medical treatment facility as well as relevant services and facilities
Armenia submitted the application for funding in 2023. Georgia had earlier received €30 million in assistance as part of the same fund. They received equipment for controlling artillery divisions and engineering equipment.
Hungary, led by Turkish-Azeri-Russian ally Orban, demands that Azerbaijan receive assistance with demining activities in exchange for authorizing the transfer to Armenia. However, since Azerbaijan has not formally requested assistance with demining, it's possible the process could reach a dead end. The internal negotiations continue.
source,

Armenia's Defense Minister discussed AM-FR defence cooperation and army reforms with a French Senator

MOD Papikyan hosted Ronan Le Gloyot from the French Senate Committees on Foreign Relations, Defense, Armed Forces and European Affairs. The parties discussed AM-FR defense ties, the AM-EU ties, the Armenian army reforms, etc.
source,

Armenia and France discussed cooperation in military industry and aerospace (🤔)

High-Tech Minister Mkhitar Hayrapetyan hosted the French Senate delegation led by Ronan Le Gloyot. They discussed cybersecurity, digitization, the establishment and operation of French high-tech firms in Armenia, defense, military industry, and aerospace cooperation.
source,

France donates 4 diesel power generators with 100 kW to city halls and hospitals in Syunik

source, source,

Saudi Arabia's ethnic Armenian Prince Abdulaziz bin Talal Al Saud will visit Armenia

The agreement was reached during the recent visit by Armenia's Labor Minister to SA. The Prince and the Minister also agreed to establish cooperation between the Prince's AGFUND and Armenia's labor ministry.
source,

Armenia's Central Bank continues to cut the refinancing rate

2020: 4.25%
2022: 10.75%
2023: 9.25%
Jan 2024: 8.75%
Mar 2024: 8.50%
Apr 2024 8.25%
source, source,

Armenian migrant workers are sending fewer remittances from Russia and could find working in Armenia more beneficial

The net inflow of individuals' remittances from Russia in Q1 2024 amounted to $656.6 million compared to $1.1 billion in Q1 2023.
CENTRAL BANK: There is a decline this year due to economic and geopolitical issues, the exchange rate, and the ratio of salaries. It is necessary to have an understanding of whether Armenian migrant workers plan to continue working in Russia. Some prefer to return to Armenia and work here, as the difference in salaries now is much smaller than, for example, 10 years ago.
source, full,

agreement is signed to build a World Trade Center in Yerevan

Details in September 7 news digest.
Construction company RenShin presented the $212 million project to the government for approval. It's expected to create 10,000 jobs. There will be 4- and 5-star hotels as well.
PASHINYAN: It will be in place of the HayPost [post office] building on 22 Saryan St. Modern construction standards will be introduced in Armenia. Since our independence, there has never been a complex of this scale. It will help Armenia raise the "we are open for business" flag.
MHER GRIGORYAN: Armenia is the only country in the region without a World Trade Center. Being the last means we can have the best quality and newest technology. //
Armenia-based Renshen will invite the international architectural giant Norman Foster, known for developing the Apple Park in California, Germany's Reichstag Building, New York skyscraper Hearst Tower, the City Hall of Southwark (London), Millennium Bridge in London, Bilbao Metro, and more.
Who will own the complex? 50% investors, 30% HayPost, 20% Government. The company will buy HayPost's shares within the next 5 years. The revenue will help develop HayPost. It will have a new modern sorting facility to handle more parcels.
source,

16-year-old boy survives a fall from Kievian Bridge

source,

Yerevan's Yeritasardakan subway station has new lighting: VIDEO

It's the first of several to come.
video,

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Nearby_Volume_7067 posting in AITAH
Ongoing as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 23rd April 2024
Update - 28th April 2024
​
WIBTA for dumping my girlfriend after she ignored my calls and messages and went clubbing while I was undergoing emergency surgery.
​
I 22M, and my girlfriend, 22F have been together for 5 years.
We've been together since high school, and until recently, I've always considered her to be my future wife. I've even bought a ring and was planning on proposing over the coming months.
Well, last weekend it was my girlfriend's best friend's birthday. She and her friends booked a private lounge at a club. Obviously, I didn't go since 1. I wasn't invited and 2. I hate clubbing or anything associated with that. I was actually looking forward to spending an evening alone and just binging Netflix or something. Well, my gf left around 9 pm, and I just crashed on the couch and watched some YouTube. Well, around 11 pm, I started to feel this distinct stomach pain. The same pain you experience when someone hits you in the nuts. It wasn't bad at first, and I just thought my body was playing some tricks on me, but in the span of about 5 minutes, the pain just kept getting worse until I was basically stuck in the fetal position on the couch. Again, initially, I just thought the pain would go, but then I pulled down my pants, and it felt like my right testicle was starting to swell.
The moment I tried to get up and grab my phone to inspect whatever the fuck was happening to me, I just collapsed to the floor. That was probably the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Imagine being pelted in the nuts over and over again. I did manage to crawl to the table next to the couch to get my phone. I immediately tried calling my gf, but she declined my call. I then texted her that something was wrong and she could come home immediately.
The club she went to is like a 5-minute walk from our apartment. I just put the phone down and started throwing up because of the pain. After throwing up for like a minute, it felt like the pain started to cool down a bit, and I grabbed my phone again, and that's when I saw her response. She just replied with a "What is it? 😒". I tried calling her again, but as expected, she just declined again. I then texted her that I need to go to the hospital now. She then asked for what, and I just replied with my balls hurt. I then just dialed for emergency services.
I explained my situation to the emergency responder, and she asked if there was somebody that could drive me to the hospital, and I stupidly said yes. I thought my gf would be home soon, and she would drive me to the hospital. I felt embarrassed to call an ambulance because my "balls hurt." After I told the emergency responder this, she then told me that she would call me again in 10 minutes to make sure I was being driven to the hospital. I then put down the phone and went back to vomiting on our carpet.
Again, after the pain went away for a bit, I checked my phone and saw that my gf just responded with laughing emojis. I again tried to call her, but as expected, she just declined again. She texted me that this wasn't the time to play games, and she then told me that if I texted or called her again, she would block my number. I again tried calling her, but she declined again, and when I tried calling her a second time, I realized she actually blocked me.
I went back to curling up on the floor, and now I started shivering. At this point, I didn't care about being embarrassed and just called emergency services again and asked for an ambulance. It felt like an eternity, but the ambulance eventually came and rushed me to the hospital. I don't remember much of surgery since I was sedated, but I remember waking up eventually, and my right testicle was being stitched together. The doctor informed me that I had a testicular torsion, and I was extremely lucky to reach the hospital in time. I could have easily been forced to surgically remove my testicle.
I checked my phone and saw the missed calls and messages my gf left me. In summary, she came home from clubbing and smelled the vomit in our apartment. When she saw the vomit on our carpet, she got mad and tried searching the apartment to find me. When she realized I wasn't there, only then did it hit her that I was actually being serious. I just texted her in which hospital I was staying in and my room number then went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and saw my gf sleeping on a couch next to my bed.
After she woke up, she started bombarding me with apologies. She thought I was joking, that I was trying to ruin their night, etc. I didn't have the energy to argue, so I just kept quiet. I was beyond hurt by what she did, and I wanted to break up with her then and there. Why the fuck would somebody ignore messages where their partner is begging them to come home? Not only that, she stayed in the club until 3 am and didn't even consider going home to check on me. She did stay with me in the hospital for the remaining two days I was admitted there and did take good care of me, but I was still beyond pissed at her. Ever since coming home yesterday, I've been wanting to dump her, but at the same time, I feel like she genuinely thought I was joking and made a mistake. I feel conflicted and don't know how to proceed in this situation.
WIBTA if I dumped her? Am I overreacting?
How would you guys navigate this mess?
Edit:
Just to clarify. No I never had an issue with her going out in the first place or have ever pulled pranks for her to come home from a night out.
And btw thank you guys so much for the support. Im beyond blown away.
​
Comments
​
Sad_Wind8580
Even if she thought you were joking, you deserved a phone call. Your partner should be worried about you vs “why are you ruining my night?” Have you ever done this before?
She could have called to confirm something was or was not wrong when you said hospital. I would really consider if you went to continue this relationship. She prioritized partying over a phone call, heard hospital and still blocked you, and was planning on yelling about the vomiting.
I’ wish you well in your healing.
​
BeLikeWaterMJH
I can’t imagine my partner blocking my number at all while we’re actively dating lmao, let alone while I’m in the midst of a health crisis. Gargantuan red flag.
​
Shape_Charming
Yup, if I called my girlfriend and my number was blocked I would assume I'm single and proceed with my life accordingly.
​
lobeams
Former paramedic here. Dude, when you're in that level of pain, don't call your fucking gf. Call emergency services. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Oh, and NTA, but your gf is.
​
tismsia
They have a strong disconnect in communication styles. If they get married before figuring it out, they're going to blame each other.
​
**Judgement - NTA*\*
​
Update - 5 days later
​
First of all, I just want to thank all of you for the amazing support. It's been quite overwhelming, to be honest. I have so many unread messages, so please, guys, give me some time 🙏. I promise I'll respond to all of them.
​
First of all, I would like to clear up some misconceptions brewing in the comment section of my last Post.
No, I have never pulled any malicious pranks on my girlfriend to get her to come home early from a night out or anything, neither do I have an issue with her going out (as long as she doesn't come home at like 6 am). And no, I've never blown up her phone like that while she was out with friends. We usually go out together since we share the same friend groups.
Here are mine and her messages from WhatsApp in order since people thought I just texted her "my balls hurt" or something (translated)
​

1. Me: declined my first 2 calls (her name) please come home something is wrong.
2. Her: ??? can't talk rn. What is it 😒
3. Me: Tried calling her again. I need to go to the hospital.
4. Her: ???? What
5. Me: Again tried calling her twice. My Balls hurt. Please come NOW. Something is wrong
6. Her: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
7. Me: tried calling her again twice after calling emergency services.
8. Her: I swear don't bother me again or I'm blocking you. Let me fucking enjoy my night out.
9. Me: Tried calling her again twice and got blocked. (At this point, the pain was too bad to try anything with her anymore and I just called an ambulance)
10. Her next message after unblocking me at 2 am: (my name) Why the fuck is there vomit in the living room and where the fuck are you? Why is the front door unlocked if you left somewhere?

​
She then went into a full mental breakdown as she realized I was being serious about going to the hospital (over 70 messages)
​

• Yes, it was stupid of me to expect her to drive me to the hospital since she was drinking, but again, In that type of pain, you don't think clearly. I think I needed her more for moral support and I did it out of pure instinct.
• Not immediately calling an ambulance was also stupid of me. I was in a lot of pain, but stupidly at the time thought that whatever I was going through would eventually calm down and driving to the hospital would be better than calling an ambulance. Also, in hindsight, me being embarrassed about calling an ambulance over "my balls" was definitely also really stupid.
• The amount of mental gymnastics some of you did in my comments to paint me as some sort of dweeb or "emotionally needy" person for bothering my gf was truly mind-blowing to me. I promise you if my gf was in my position and I ignored her, none of you would be defending me.

​
Now for the update. Thank for all those who wished me a speedy recovery. I'm doing much better now. Not being able to go to work for the next 3 weeks is definitely a bummer. I work for my dad's construction company, and my job requires lifting a lot of heavy weights. I'm also prohibited from having any sex for the next 2-3 weeks as well. I might have also developed some trauma due to the pain. I randomly get the same sensation again, and it's driving me nuts (see what I did there).
As for me and my gf. It's complicated. As so many of you and my mom told me, 5 years is definitely a long time to be just throwing away without having a proper conversation with her. So I did just that. I told her how hurt I felt by everything. I mentioned the following points.
​

• Her ignoring my messages and declining my calls (yes clubs are loud but where I'm from there are smoking areas where you can definitely have a conversation over the phone.)
• Blocking me after I tried calling her.
• Her not checking on me once even though the club she went to is only a 5-minute walk from our apartment.
• Her being angry about the vomit instead of being concerned.

​
After hearing that she got defensive and told me that I could have conveyed my situation better and that she genuinely thought I was joking. She was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly. She also told me that It couldn't have been THAT painful and I was over exaggerating. I then told her yes I could have phrased my messages better and I apologized for that but I then described the pain I was in and told her that I barely had the strength to text her, let alone send her a detailed description of what was happening to me and definitely couldn't think straight throughout everything.
After hearing what I said she started crying and apologizing for what she did. She told me if she knew how serious it was, we wouldn't have been having this conversation. She then also apologized for her being mad over the vomit. According to her she was drunk and tired and was just expressing frustration. I then asked her why she thought I was joking and if she was cheating on me because this was seriously out of character for her, hence why I immediately trusted her with this. She started crying harder and she looked like I just slapped her in the face. She told me that she just thought I was being insecure about her being in the club with a bunch of guys and no she wasn't cheating on me and would never do something like that. We then hugged for a solid 10 minutes after that.
The next part was really hard for me but I told her I need some space to gather my thoughts and told her she needs to stay with her parents for the time being. She immediately started having a mental breakdown and asked If I was breaking up with her. I told her I wasn't sure and needed time to see If I still trusted her after all of this and what she did was beyond disrespectful. How could I trust someone with my life after they pulled something like this? I then told her that we are young and this mess was mostly caused by our immaturity, this entire situation was an important life lesson for the both of us regardless if we stayed together.
After begging a bit more she then put her head down and started packing a few essentials. Before leaving she told she would be willing to do anything to make up for this and that I could take as much time as I needed. She then gave me a big kiss and left. That was two days ago and this is where we currently stand. I still give her updates on my healing but besides that we don't contact each other.
I'm really torn right now. I still don't have that trust in her but her owning up to her mistake shows that she knows she fucked up and is remorseful. This is definitely something out of the ordinary for her, but there will have to be major boundaries and new rules set. I can think of the following.
​

1. If she blocks me again for anything = blocking herself from ever seeing me again
2. Ignoring my messages will not be tolerated anymore
3. If she goes out alone again, she has to pick up if I call regardless of the situation
4. As many of you suggested having an emergency code like "hospital" or something would probably have to be implemented.

​
I'm not going to abuse any of these boundaries but I just want peace of mind knowing that my partner has my best interest at heart even when she is physically not around me but idk.
Again I just want to thank you guys for everything and this whole experience was definitely an eye-opener for me.
Should I get back together with her? If yes, would my demands be reasonable and could I add something more?
WIBTA if I dumped her over this whole saga?
EDIT: I don't know what happened to the bullet points in my post. Seems to be a weird bug or something.
​
Comments
​
Jillio_NH
Time in doesn’t mean you need to stay with someone. That just delays the ending of it if you think you can’t get past not trusting her.
You would not be an asshole if you chose to end it. You would also not be one if you decided to give it a go. You need to go with your gut.
I personally would have a hard time getting past someone blocking me when we are in a relationship. That level of petty would be too much for me. To me, that does not imply a partnership, and I need a partnership with my significant other (this October will be my 30th anniversary of being married) if he blocked me or did not pick up when I made multiple calls That would be a trust broken and I’m not sure I would be able to get past that.
​
thatbinchrose
When I woke up my partner in the middle of the night for him (it was 9am but he got off work at 5am) in pain so bad all I could communicate was “something is wrong” he dropped everything to help me. He drove me to the hospital, called my parents for me, explained what had been going on to the doctors, advocated for me to get pain meds, and stayed with me the entire time. That’s what a caring partner should do.
If a partner doesn’t help okay maybe they can’t. If my partner even called me twice in a row I’d drop everything to answer or call back. If for some reason I can’t I’ll text him.
Your partner is a million red flags disguised as human I think
​
Wide_Comment3081
But also, I would never be able to recover from this if this happened to me. You were having a medical emergency and she's STILL trying to blame you for 'not communicating clearly'
​
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

“Ability Score Improvements”
Welcome to another edition of a random card being turned into an EDH Deck! Every Friday I create a budget (<$100) EDH Deck based entirely around a random card that I pull from scryfall.com (or that is suggested by someone else, either way it’s still random to me). I would love it if anyone has any suggestions for future random cards/decks or just wants to share their own experiences with any cards or decks discussed, I think this is a ton of fun.
Random Card of the Week (Image Download Link)
Random Card of the Week (Scryfall Link)
Deck List
Deck Tech/Gameplay Video: (Lord Windgrace vs Jon Irenicus, Shattered One vs Akroma, Vision of Ixidor & Vial Smasher the Fierce vs The Second Doctor & Vislor Turlough)
This week’s deck uses [[Butcher of the Horde]] as our random card and [[Akroma, Vision of Ixidor]] & [[Vial Smasher the Fierce]] as the partner commanders. Butcher of the Horde is a unique card because it could do well in aristocrats or demons but I wanted to try to do something a little different with it, which is why we’re focused on keywords. Butcher can give itself a total of 4 different keywords, meaning that if we have Akroma in play, it’s getting an additional +4/+4 every time we go to combat. Additionally, we can make use of cards like [[Odric, Lunarch Marshal]], [[Concerted Effort]], and [[Angelic Skirmisher]] to give all our creatures specific keywords and then pump them all with Akroma. Because of this, we’re also running creatures with as many keywords as possible so that we can always have a huge board. That includes creatures like [[Zetalpa, Primal Dawn]], [[Scavenged Brawler]], and [[Rograkh, Son of Rohgahh]] but it also includes creatures that can take other creatures’ abilities like [[Thunderous Orator]], [[Urborg Scavengers]], and [[Cairn Wanderer]]. Additionally, we have [[Eater of Virtue]], [[Odric, Blood-Cursed]], and [[Henrika Domnathi]] as payoffs for our creatures having a ton of keywords, letting us close out the game even faster.
Other than keywords, we’re leaning hard into aggro so we want to make sure we can do as much damage as possible (with cards like [[Aurelia, the Warleader]] to give extra combats or [[Gisela, Blade of Goldnight]] to double our damage) while also protecting our team (with spells like [[Your Temple is Under Attack]] to give indestructible or a hexproof package consisting of [[Swiftfoot Boots]], [[Mask of Avacyn]], and [[Mirror Shield]]). Obviously, our gameplan of turning all our creatures sideways (or technically not if we have Vigilance) also means we need plenty of ways to interact with our opponents’ permanents. That’s why our main source of removal is universal: [[Generous Gift]], [[Wild Magic Surge]], and [[Tibalt’s Trickery]]. Being able to remove any permanent opens us up to attacking but also gets rid of anything that may prevent our creatures from dealing damage. Finally, I’m a huge supporter of having a backup plan so we do have an infinite combo hidden in the deck just in case we’re unable to win through combat damage (I’ve been burned by Spore Frog too many times if you can’t tell). We have no way to tutor for the pieces but if we combine [[Brash Taunter]] and [[Blazing Sunsteel]] we’re able to create an infinite loop where we can do infinite damage to the Taunter and, by extension, infinite damage to each opponent. Now I know that infinites are not everyone’s thing so if you’re interested in putting this deck together but don’t want the combo I would recommend just swapping out the Sunsteel and keeping the Taunter since it has Indestructible which is one of the hardest keywords to come by.
In the end, this deck came in at $80.82 with Aurelia, the Warleader being the most expensive card at $9.14. Since Aurelia has three keywords on her own and also provides an extra combat she’s one of the strongest finishers in the deck. However, she is almost 1/8 of the total deck price on her own so if you did need to cut down on the price then there are plenty of other creatures with keywords that could take her place.
On the other hand, if you want an out-of-budget upgrade as well as the card to take out for it then I’ve got you covered. That’s why I’d recommend putting in [[Akroma’s Will]] ($20.53) and taking out [[Crystalline Giant]]. Crystalline Giant is a bit of a pet card of mine and I try to squeeze it into any deck I can but it never winds up doing what I want it to do. In this deck it has the possibility of getting more keywords than any other creature we have but it would take way too long for it to get to that point and our opponents will probably remove it before then. Akroma’s Will, though, is an absolute game winner in this deck. Normally, I try not to suggest staple cards as upgrades but this one deserves a bit of an exception. Akroma’s Will can give our entire team a grand total of 6 keywords (one of which is protection from all colors so they’re essentially unblockable) so they’ll get +6/+6 from Akroma and Double Strike so even if we only have one other creature on board we’re doing a minimum of 12 damage and gaining 12 life. You can probably see how that gets out of hand with a full board.
Thanks for checking out the deck and reading about it/watching the video! I hope you all like it and if you think there are improvements to be made, if you have suggestions, or just want to chat about it, then let me know. Also, a quick plug: if you want to guarantee that your suggestions get turned into decks or a variety of other benefits (including access to a discord channel to play in the games, help build the decks, getting the decklists a week early, and one of the random cards shipped to you every month) then check me out on www.patreon.com/dungeonlearnersguide or consider becoming a channel member over on YouTube: www.YouTube.com/dungeonlearnersguide.

“Ability Score Improvements”
Welcome to another edition of a random card being turned into an EDH Deck! Every Friday I create a budget (<$100) EDH Deck based entirely around a random card that I pull from scryfall.com (or that is suggested by someone else, either way it’s still random to me). I would love it if anyone has any suggestions for future random cards/decks or just wants to share their own experiences with any cards or decks discussed, I think this is a ton of fun.
Random Card of the Week (Image Download Link)
Random Card of the Week (Scryfall Link)
Deck List
Deck Tech/Gameplay Video: (Lord Windgrace vs Jon Irenicus, Shattered One vs Akroma, Vision of Ixidor & Vial Smasher the Fierce vs The Second Doctor & Vislor Turlough)
This week’s deck uses [[Butcher of the Horde]] as our random card and [[Akroma, Vision of Ixidor]] & [[Vial Smasher the Fierce]] as the partner commanders. Butcher of the Horde is a unique card because it could do well in aristocrats or demons but I wanted to try to do something a little different with it, which is why we’re focused on keywords. Butcher can give itself a total of 4 different keywords, meaning that if we have Akroma in play, it’s getting an additional +4/+4 every time we go to combat. Additionally, we can make use of cards like [[Odric, Lunarch Marshal]], [[Concerted Effort]], and [[Angelic Skirmisher]] to give all our creatures specific keywords and then pump them all with Akroma. Because of this, we’re also running creatures with as many keywords as possible so that we can always have a huge board. That includes creatures like [[Zetalpa, Primal Dawn]], [[Scavenged Brawler]], and [[Rograkh, Son of Rohgahh]] but it also includes creatures that can take other creatures’ abilities like [[Thunderous Orator]], [[Urborg Scavengers]], and [[Cairn Wanderer]]. Additionally, we have [[Eater of Virtue]], [[Odric, Blood-Cursed]], and [[Henrika Domnathi]] as payoffs for our creatures having a ton of keywords, letting us close out the game even faster.
Other than keywords, we’re leaning hard into aggro so we want to make sure we can do as much damage as possible (with cards like [[Aurelia, the Warleader]] to give extra combats or [[Gisela, Blade of Goldnight]] to double our damage) while also protecting our team (with spells like [[Your Temple is Under Attack]] to give indestructible or a hexproof package consisting of [[Swiftfoot Boots]], [[Mask of Avacyn]], and [[Mirror Shield]]). Obviously, our gameplan of turning all our creatures sideways (or technically not if we have Vigilance) also means we need plenty of ways to interact with our opponents’ permanents. That’s why our main source of removal is universal: [[Generous Gift]], [[Wild Magic Surge]], and [[Tibalt’s Trickery]]. Being able to remove any permanent opens us up to attacking but also gets rid of anything that may prevent our creatures from dealing damage. Finally, I’m a huge supporter of having a backup plan so we do have an infinite combo hidden in the deck just in case we’re unable to win through combat damage (I’ve been burned by Spore Frog too many times if you can’t tell). We have no way to tutor for the pieces but if we combine [[Brash Taunter]] and [[Blazing Sunsteel]] we’re able to create an infinite loop where we can do infinite damage to the Taunter and, by extension, infinite damage to each opponent. Now I know that infinites are not everyone’s thing so if you’re interested in putting this deck together but don’t want the combo I would recommend just swapping out the Sunsteel and keeping the Taunter since it has Indestructible which is one of the hardest keywords to come by.
In the end, this deck came in at $80.82 with Aurelia, the Warleader being the most expensive card at $9.14. Since Aurelia has three keywords on her own and also provides an extra combat she’s one of the strongest finishers in the deck. However, she is almost 1/8 of the total deck price on her own so if you did need to cut down on the price then there are plenty of other creatures with keywords that could take her place.
On the other hand, if you want an out-of-budget upgrade as well as the card to take out for it then I’ve got you covered. That’s why I’d recommend putting in [[Akroma’s Will]] ($20.53) and taking out [[Crystalline Giant]]. Crystalline Giant is a bit of a pet card of mine and I try to squeeze it into any deck I can but it never winds up doing what I want it to do. In this deck it has the possibility of getting more keywords than any other creature we have but it would take way too long for it to get to that point and our opponents will probably remove it before then. Akroma’s Will, though, is an absolute game winner in this deck. Normally, I try not to suggest staple cards as upgrades but this one deserves a bit of an exception. Akroma’s Will can give our entire team a grand total of 6 keywords (one of which is protection from all colors so they’re essentially unblockable) so they’ll get +6/+6 from Akroma and Double Strike so even if we only have one other creature on board we’re doing a minimum of 12 damage and gaining 12 life. You can probably see how that gets out of hand with a full board.
Thanks for checking out the deck and reading about it/watching the video! I hope you all like it and if you think there are improvements to be made, if you have suggestions, or just want to chat about it, then let me know. Also, a quick plug: if you want to guarantee that your suggestions get turned into decks or a variety of other benefits (including access to a discord channel to play in the games, help build the decks, getting the decklists a week early, and one of the random cards shipped to you every month) then check me out on www.patreon.com/dungeonlearnersguide or consider becoming a channel member over on YouTube: www.YouTube.com/dungeonlearnersguide.

I need to know if this is a scam, basically a number showing caller ID rang me and said I had been sleeping with her man (my boyfriend)
Yesterday I got a call from a number that looked legitimate, a UK number that wasn't normally associated with call centres or scam callers.
She started calling me a 'black cunt' and that I had been sleeping with her man who is currently my boyfriend. She sounded drunk and high, older whereas I am younger.
I kept on asking her how did she get my number and she kept going 'ask your man.' and 'ask him to unblock me' and then she kept making sex noises which was seriously disturbing.
My boyfriend's sister kept saying that it was a scam. This, I may be clutching at straws, coincides simultaneously with a couple of days ago where my boyfriend's sister friends were saying that my boyfriend could do 'better than me.'
I for;

1. Don't know how they got my number and were able to link it to my name (they kept asking if (my name) was speaking, and is this me?
2. I've been in this situation before where I was close to my exams and someone has tried to ruin and deter my progress (my end of year exams that get me into university are 30 days away and I am having trouble focusing)
3. the person still keeps picking up the phone. She called with a caller ID and if this was a sophisticated scammer, I don't think they would leave a trail.

I told my sister and dad about what had happened and they think my boyfriend's family is involved someway somehow. We are an interracial couple, and it's still early days. I think I could share this but we've been together for 6-7 months so it's still early days. I'm not sure if his family fully accepts me. But I am so sure but unsure at the same time that this is a scam.
My boyfriend's sister said that she used to get calls like this all the time, and this is how scammers tap into your phone and steal money. First of all my critical thinking skills are going through the roof because how is that possible? How can scammers have access to my phone unless I give them access first?
She told me to put my instagram accounts on private, which I was hesitant to do because I have a YouTube channel and I want to connect with viewers. But I still did it anyway because I care about the welfare of my boyfriend and I don't want to put him in danger. I don't think this was a scam long story short because, how on earth did they get my number and link it to my social media account and name? My number isn't available on any of my social media accounts btw.
Edit - the reason I picked up the phone in the first place was because my shower has been broken for a month and I'm expecting a call from the shower company who are supposed to fix it.

It’s been officially 1 month since I’ve last seen or talked to him. I’m so proud of myself for lasting this long. This past month has been a roller coaster with missing him and forgetting him, wanting to unblock him. But this is what I’ve learned.
Even if I wish he was still in my life, the reality is if he wanted to he would still be here. A person will do what they want not what YOU want. As much as I wanted him to be in my life and lost my self respect by wanting to allow him to give me less, he didn’t want to be in my life, rather talk and hook up with other women.
Learning to be alone is difficult. Waking up with no new notifications besides YouTube or Reddit is depressing, especially throughout the day, no new messages. Phone dry as ever. But being alone is better than trying to distract myself by talking to other people like how he is. I learned that I need to learn how to be comfortable and love myself, before loving someone else.
I’m much happier without him. Well I’m faking it till I make it. In reality what I’ve noticed I’m much more at peace and no more feeling sad for the lack of effort from a person I loved. While I was with him I noticed my mood depended on how he treated me and I would always be crying or sad. Being alone has just helped me regulate my emotions.
Blocking is so helpful in moving on. I decided to block him within a week of us being broken up. I would get constant anxiety because he would be watching my social media even though he wasn’t following me. Hes been blocked for 3 weeks or so and no more anxiety. Been catching myself wanting to unblock so he can see me be happy but he doesn’t deserve to see my life because he chose to not be apart of it.
Being cheated on is not easy but friends and family has helped so much. Being alone and thinking about the wrongs in the relationship has helped. I believe that the right person for me will come and treat me right and wouldn’t dare to treat me like how he did. Self love is so important and determines the people you attract.
It’s not easy but it’ll get easier, no more keeping track of how long. But instead focusing on myself and moving on. Staying strong.
Ps. My birthday is in a week and trying to hard to not have hope that he will message me happy birthday.

Im on mobile and tired and tbh I don’t feel like linking my of post but have at it with creeping through my account.
But had my surgery today! I got a tympanoplasty, myringoplasty, ossiculoplasty, and balloon dilation in both tubes. It lasted about 6 hours instead of three to four(mainly because of how many procedures I had done and moving equipment in and out of room. I also imagine there ended up being more scar tissue than he could see visually in office once he got in there.
I have minimal pain in my left ear which just had a tympanoplasty, luckily he was able to take a fat graft from my incision site on the left so no extra wound care for me! I’m more uncomfy than in pain. The tinnitus is about the same in my right ear but he said to expect it to chill out in a bit since he made it angry today. I’m still experiencing a level 2 pain with meds, but I’m sure it’s a case of if I don’t take them I’ll be sorry I didn’t. The worst is honestly coughing up and spitting out blood clots that are dripping down from my eustacion tube. Makes me feel more gross than anything but the nurses told me to expect that since they dialated my tubes. I gave permission for video and pictures and I’m excited to see them.
All in all, much better than expected, my care team was really sweet and attentive.

Most of us have dealt with well-meaning (and sometimes not so well-meaning) advice about TTC from family, friends, and acquaintances. Right now, my mother has been inundating me with links about how intermittent fasting and magical thinking can cure my endometriosis and unblock my tubes. That seems to be very trendy these days, with no relevant scientific evidence to back it up.
My response in the past has been to say, “Thanks, but I’m going to follow the advice of my OBGYN/RE/etc.” But are there other, better ways to address pseudoscientific advice? Or ways that you have managed to convince your loved ones that intermittent fasting (or whatever trend they advised) isn’t the answer?
Alternatively, if you’d like to share the most ridiculous advice you’ve received, let us hear it! 😊

TLDR I’m an atypical girl who never really had friends or happiness. I found my soulmate who is everything I want in 1. She is a preachers daughter so her parents don’t support lgbt and they thought we were lesbian lovers. Her parents did something bad to her because of that, causing her to abandon me after we’d formed an extremely close bond, which is the only thing I wanted to have with another girl like me. This has worsened my depression and anxiety for years as I truly loved her. I have tried and failed to find a replacement for her and I’m also struggling with nightmares and hauntings of her along with chronic loneliness. Last time I tried to talk to her she refused because she didn’t want to be punished by her parents again. She says she has moved on but she always responds to my attempts. I think her parents may be the only reason why she stopped being my best friend. Should I reach out again once we are both legal adults to try to fix things or at least meet in person?
I’m going to try to make this as short as possible but as detailed as I can because this has been bothering me for years and nobody in my personal life has advice so ig I’ll try here.
A little background on me I am a 17F but I’m not a typical girl I’m kinda a mix between tomboy and girly( I like to fish, play video games, ride dirt bikes, play with nerf guns etc. but I also like to dress up, get my hair done, go shopping, etc.) on top of this I have social anxiety (which is why I’ve literally never posted anything on this account lol) and I’m shy so it’s kinda hard for me to make friends that I can relate to. Most of my friends are guys bc I only have brothers and I’m mostly only around male cousins etc. so I can talk to guys easily or play video games with them. I’d like to have female friends but the girls I know don’t have similar interests as me, and most of them are judgemental (which I don’t like due to my social anxiety + I’m pro kindness ) but I crave more female friends because obviously I can’t relate to my male friends like I can with a girl.
Well one day I met a girl(we were both 13F at the time) and she was just like me. I was drawn to her in an indescribable way. It was weird like I genuinely felt like a supernatural attraction to her even though I’d never met her before. At first I didn’t like her because I met her at a time when I got picked on a lot and she was one of those insults as jokes type of people so I thought she was a bully but eventually I warmed up to her and we became friends. Then as I got to know her I realized that she was literally the perfect person for me. We were almost identical but just different enough to be the perfect pair
Ex. We both like video games. I like casual games like survival, farming, life simulations. She likes shooters but at the time we would play Minecraft and Fortnite together. She likes adult cartoons , I like anime and adult cartoons, literally perfect. We had similar humor, were both honor students, I know now that we both had troubling home lives , etc. we had so much in common that there was always something for us to talk about or relate to.
As time went on we got closer and closer like almost attached at the hip close. We would text daily (nobody had ever texted me consistently before) and plan our future together. We were supposed to be roommates and have a family together. I don't remember how children got into the equation but we made plans to co parent and all of this stuff (like the buddy daddies anime one of my favorites ^-). I used to like role playing when I was a child so we would role play our future over text and we would write stories about it together. I’d never had a girl that was so invested in me and so similarelateable to me and it felt so good. I never experienced happiness or purpose until I met her. I would look forward to seeing her and having that one girl I could genuinely relate to and care about me.
I realized I was falling in love with her but I didn’t tell her because I didn’t want to accept myself. I would get extremely jealous or irate if she gave another girl attention (I’m noticing I have a habit with that lol) but I don’t think she caught on if she did she never told me. I would want to love bomb her or kiss her SO BAD but I wanted to respect her space because I didn’t know her sexuality. I would ask her and it would change. I wasn’t sure of my own either but I knew I wanted to be with her. Despite this I didn’t tell her at the time.
Throughout our friendship I noticed she would not be as open to me as I would be to her or not as honest as she should be. For example I would say hey I’m very clingy so if I go overboard just let me know. She would say okay but she wouldn’t tell me if I was or wasn’t clingy then she would tell someone I’m too clingy then I would go back and ask her hey do you want me to be less clingy and then she’ll be like no it’s ok. Stuff like that
Also I used to call her Love. Honestly I wasn’t calling her it at first I was trying to say “Hey with love” as “Hey love” similarly to the term “love punch” but then when I realized oh hey her birthday is around Valentine’s(love) Day so she’s a love baby I would call her that. She was taking it as me calling her “ girlfriend” I think and she would tell me to stop but muscle memory yk so I do admit I was at fault for continuing but it was unintentional. I would apologize and she would say “dw it’s fine u can call me it” stuff like that that would be confusing
One day we were preparing to write another story about our future together and out of the blue she asked me to stop calling her love and a whole bunch of other stuff. I just remembered that one because I could tell it was serious that time. There was so much I wanted to say but I just said “Okay” in response and I regret that now. She never texted me back after that. I waited for a long time but she never responded.I was panicking and heartbroken because I knew this was the end and that terrified me. I’d finally found someone that made my life worth living and she was getting taken away from me. When I saw her in school after that she told me I got her in trouble and I had an internal panic attack. I knew what it meant bc my parents are the same. On the outside I was frozen but inside I literally died. I remember I was at my desk shaking and trying to hold back tears. She began to be cold to me and she would ignore and avoid me. And she blocked me literally everywhere. Even YouTube. It would hurt me everyday to see her happy with other people when I was back at square 1 anxious, depressed and alone . I felt like I lost a part of myself, a family member, or my twin flame. Idk why but I thought this time was a good time to confess to her but it did nothing. I could tell she was feeling prideful about it but yeah I got rejected womp womp. Instead, she outed me to her friends which they used to make fun of me and blackmail me later in life After that there was a pattern of her being nice then mean then nice then mean. She would change how she acted towards me randomly and it was so confusing but eventually we became friends again. She never unblocked me but she would talk to me and email me at school. She was the one to initiate it. Due to her constant change of nice and mean I would only talk to her if she initiated it. The last day we were together I remember constantly. She messaged me and I was venting to her about my ex bf at the time. She went up to him, confronted him and then tried to fight him. It made me happy to see her being protective/ territorial of me again which was something I really liked that she did. I separated them and brought her inside the school when we went in we hugged so tight that we almost fused together. I wanted to kiss her but I didn’t. It’s kinda like we knew it was the end. I watched her walk off and every step she took I could feel it on my heart and it hurt worse the farther she got. I wanted to run after her but I didn’t and I regret it.
We talked over email for a few days bc quarantine made us leave school and then she was gone. I cried a lot about it. I didn’t want to believe she was really gone.
After a couple of weeks it really settled in and I became obsessed with trying to get back to her I made new accounts and everything but I got scared and didn’t follow through. I told a mutual friend and he went and messaged her. She was cold and blamed me for getting her in trouble. It hurt me so bad because she was the one who reached out to me. I cried a lot again but I tried to accept it. I deleted our old messages, I deleted most pics of her I had. I couldn't bring myself to delete them all and instead I tried to make online friends and I did meet another girl and things were going well but she randomly ghosted me. Literally out of nowhere. It made me miss my best friend again. I went into a really bad depression and my eating disorder got worse due to so many failed friendships.
On top of several failed attempts at remaking friends, any progress I made on moving on from her got messed up because my old best friend has a word for a name so I would see it and hear it everywhere. I would have dreams and nightmares about her. She would look so beautiful in them and it would make me cry when I woke up. I still do sometimes :(. Her face is the only face that I can see clearly in my mind because it would pop up randomly. I’m starting to forget how she looks now but I can still see it in the void. At one point it got bad and reopened my obsession so I restored our old messages to read them again, and read our old stories. I ended up writing down an unabridged version of this in my notes app with screenshots. After the online friends weren’t working I gave up. I still don’t have any friends like her. I always had a boyfriend but I wish I had a girl best friend like her. One time I got overwhelmed and made an SAttempt. It scared me enough to finally message her bc I didn’t want to leave without her knowing I still love her. I reached out to her a few times and she rejected my olive branch the first time. That time hurt me so bad that I couldn’t even cry about it. The second time I accidentally sent her a message. I thought I was blocked so it wouldn’t go through. I guess she felt pity on me but she told me things that made me feel worse she begged me not to text her again. But she didn’t reblock the account I was messaging her from (I don’t have access to it anymore so idk if that changed) I don’t know for sure but I think her parents may have made her stop talking to me because they thought she was not straight and I was the reason for it because of the plans and stuff. She told me she got in trouble for it but never went into detail. She would also give me little hints that her parents were not allies. She told me that she was punished before for talking to me and she doesn’t want to get in trouble again because of me. That hurt me a lot.
There’s so much I still want to ask her but I didn’t because I don’t want her to get hurt. I really want her back in my life. It’s the only thing I want. I want to fix things and maybe go to therapy together so we can be at least friends again and so that I can physically see that she is safe and well but I want to know if that is a good idea. I'm unsure of her feelings for me because she wasn’t really expressive. I just made assumptions based on her actions. She was protective of me, she would get jealous if I got a boyfriend or had a crush, she was the one who wanted to share custody, she could be touchy sometimes ;), she used to flirt with me a lot, etc and she told me she felt the same way as I did sometimes (when I told her I had a crush on her). I know that I miss her and I want to fix things because she is perfect. Ik there’s other fish in the sea but there’s no fish like her. I assumed that since she didn’t reblock the account that she was ‘leaving the door open’ so to speak. I feel like if it wasn’t for her parents then maybe we could be at least friends again, so I was thinking I should try to rekindle our friendship when she is a legal adult because based on things I’ve seen and heard her parents are not the nicest and possibly abusive so I was thinking that I could let her know that I wouldn’t mind being roommates still if she needs a place to go to get away but I really don’t want to get hurt again
Ik this is kind of all over the place but it’s genuinely condensed as much as I could . I have an unabridged version with more details + context if interested but it’s pretty much a novella

Can anybody find this song for me? I forgot the name of it years ago and have never been able to find it!
My ex used to play the video for this song - I think it must have been ripped from YouTube. This would be 2012-14. Male singer but I think the band was a mixture of men and women - maybe 5 or 6 people. I thnk that they were probably American, but couldn't be sure. Guitars and fiddles as far as I can picture it.
It was a slightly tongue in cheek Country song about finishing up a tour and being glad that you didn't have to drink diner coffee any more, because you were nearly home. I think there might have been a line about getting coffee made by you (a sexy lady).
The video was quite well produced and featured the band playing the song on their instruments while jammed into a car. Possibly with shots of the sexy lady waiting at home.
It wasn't a hit song as such and now that it was 10 years ago, my memory is even more hazy than it was. I have no idea how my ex found it, but he was quite into the cabaret scene and going to see lesser known bands. He was into bands that were currently going, but had a more old fashioned style - think Fitz and the Tantrums first album.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. It's been annoying me for a decade now, but not enough to unblock my ex!