Another weekend, another ominous thunderstorm and accompanying rain keeping me from playing outside. Checking out stores >> getting struck by lightening. Today’s journey took me towards Lakewood because I didn’t want to sit in the I-25 parking lot but still wanted to get south/west-ish after not being able to even get a parking spot at REI for their big sale event - so with the storm in mind and time to kill, that’s where I ended up.
Without further ado, starting from Hwy 6 since that's about where I-25 ground to a halt, and Wadsworth, going south:
Bingo AJ Liquors - shooters and minimal shelfers - Rating: Don’t bother
Spirit Shop (Belmar Crossing) - mostly shelfers with some okish bottles up top behind the counter but nothing that was ‘wow’. Didn’t bother to ask for prices on those. Ok pricing on stuff that was elsewhere on wall. Not a giant selection, but if you live nearby… ok whatever. Rating: not making a return trip.
Mile High Wine Spirits - Belmar - Relatively plain selection with decent variety of non-shelfers, ok prices, nothing special though. A few store picks in boxes near the front. Rating - probably won’t drive across the city on a return trip, but not bad either.
Quality Discount Liquor Wads - Not even standard shelfers - Rating: don’t bother
Giant Discount Liquors - Basic shelfer selection with some local bottles thrown in. I can appreciate that. Good stuff super marked up behind counter. Example: 200 JD10 and Bowman. Pass. A OF SiBBP (probably a CO pick)… didn’t see price, but based on the other stuff up there, asking would have just left me disappointed. Rating: Pass.
Wads Liquor and Wine - 5x Weller greens happily on a shelf, 4x EHT smb tubes 'bout 150. 2x Horsey Juices 115ish. A BT fanboy or someone who was riding the hype train with money to burn would be happy here. I would be if I was on the hype train, but I kept on going… MM BEP 75ish. KC12 75 (kind of my bellwether, a store generally gets an ‘A’ if KC12 is in the 60s. Overall sentiment: fair prices and decent selection. Would return if I was in the area just to look around.
Trading Post Liquors - fairly wide and diverse selection out on the shelf for a non-mega store. However, anything even remotely “special” was pretty marked up behind the counter. JD10 for 200 ish etc… Rating: If I lived nearby, I’d probably occasionally hit it up to support local.
Quincy Costco - Willet 4yr Rye 65, both Larceny A124 & C923 - 55. Need to give the liquor manager a high five for picking good stuff. Other bottles were present, of course, but these two at their respective price points piqued my interest. After one of the posts last night about A124, I had a hard time not picking up a bottle for a rainy day, no pun intended. Rating: Top Costco in front range for hard liquor, followed closely by DIA. Worth the drive.
TW Littleton & Centennial - Littleton seemed to be price matching Costco - because they too had 65 4yr Willet rye. A later stop at the Centennial TW had it closer to 90 like a lot of other places. Can’t blame them for trying I guess!
I was overall surprised to see Bardstown offerings come down in price… a sign of bourbon deflation? A sign of the economy? A thrust for market share? Their own 6 year juice being ready? Bardstown White label Origin 38, Black label Origin BiB 43, Red Disco 9 140, Rye for 51.
Also had the lowest prices on Michters standard offerings I’ve seen, in the < 45 range. Finally, it seemed they’re really pushing their house brands, particularly Walcott. At least it says that it’s Barton right on the front. Why do I say this? There didn't seem to be as much variety in store picks as I remember a few months ago, but there were shelves and shelves and boxes of their house brands.
That's it for today!
Disclaimer: Note that my trip reports are specifically in the context of looking for (primary American) whiskey & bourbon that I’m interested in - not necessarily hunting for allocated bottles, just looking out for things that I’d like to try that I probably read a review of on one of the bourbon/whiskey subs here. I would not turn down a WFP or gold top horse juice if I saw one for a good price, but I have a personal rule about not paying much more than MSRP - there’s too much good stuff out there to try instead.
Instead, when I'm out, I like to drive around and look for "holes in the wall" that might be worth returning to in the future should I be in the specific part of town visiting a friend, or something like that. A place with good prices or a good selection, or ideally both. Plus I get to see other parts of town I've never been to. People who post their stories of favorite stores or epic finds here got me started and have resulted in some great finds for myself, so I'm returning the favor.

It's been a while since we did one of these...
Our next official meetup is happening June 8th at 3:00 p.m. - at Golden Gardens park!
If you've been to one of our bigger meetups in the past (previously labeled Global Reddit Meetup Day, when Reddit was still a fun company) - welcome back! Not much has changed about how these work, but I'll repeat the info below for the new folks.
For those of you new to our meetups, it's a way we engage with the community by hosting an outdoor picnic / potluck / hangout every year (sometimes multiple times a year - check our discord for more events). Here are the important details:

• Who: Everyone is welcome! This event is free, and anyone can join. It's run jointly by our subreddit mods and our discord, and is a great way to meet people and maybe make some new friends
• What: think of it as an outdoor hangout. Company picnic vibes but way more relaxed and more dogs (usually). Bring your friends, roommates, four-legged friends, food/drinks, blankets, outdoor activities, etc.
• When: June 8th at 3 p.m. until park close. Rain or shine, we'll be there! If weather sucks, depending on turnout we may move to a nearby bar or indoor venue, or we'll just play in the rain. It is Seattle, after all.
• Where: We'll be meeting at Golden Gardens (shelter 1) . Post in the day-of event thread or on our discord if you need help finding folks. We should have a big `seattle` banner, but either way we'll make sure people can find us.

Those are most of the important things, so if you read no further please just get these details and we hope to see you there! For communication about the event:

• We will make a new thread on the day of the event and link it here.
• If you're on discord and want notifications, we have an event setup on our server to ping members who RSVP. If you haven't been to our server yet, please stop by and say hello!
• Please use this thread and our discord to coordinate with other users if you're planning on bringing things, so we don't end up with everyone bringing the same Costco food item.

Some other (still important) notes:

• At Golden Gardens parking is TIGHT. Please use transit, rideshare, or carpool if you can, parking spots here fill up quick and the lots are always chaos. There is more parking up the hill towards Ballard and down the street on Seaview. You're welcome to coordinate rides with other users but please do so at your own risk.
• You are responsible for who and what you bring. Technically it is illegal to consume alcoholic beverages and other substances at Seattle parks. Just remember, you are ultimately responsible for yourself, we only ask that you make good decisions.
• Similar to the above, Seattle parks do not permit amplified audio devices. Small bluetooth speakers are likely ok if you want to play some music, but do so at your own risk. Again, please make good decisions.
• Things we'll provide:
  • Nametags
  • A few grills to cook (these are public outdoor grills, so keep that in mind)
  • Light snacks, water, sodas, etc.
• Things people usually bring:
  • A blanket, tarp, or chair (and something to weigh it down if it's windy)
  • A small cooler or bag of food and drinks for yourself and any to share with others if you wish
  • Your LEASHED dog if they're friendly and enjoy other people (and other dogs). There's going to be a lot of random internet friends and likely doggos around, so if your four-legged friend is reactive or shy it might be best to leave them at home.
  • Outdoor activities fit for the beach - frisbee, soccefootball, kites, etc.

Please let me know in this thread (or on discord) if you have any questions or if there's anything I left out. Hope to see you there!

Have you ever listened to Balance and thought, "Man I wish I could've sent in item suggestions or gotten an NPC named after me?" Well now you can! I'm running a custom balance campaign and need some suggestions and new NPCs!
I wanted to make new arcs and grand relics for my group to make it different since one of my players has listened to Balance on their own before.
I figured I would ask the sub for Fantasy Costco items, Fantasy Gashapon items, and NPC names!
My players are a wild magic barbarian, artificer, and cleric of Bahamut.
Leave any ideas/suggestions below, I would love to hear them all. If your item/name ends up getting used in the campaign, I'll be sure to reply to your comment explaining who gets it, and how it gets used by them in game.
:)

This week, after just short of 10 years, I said goodbye to a good friend: my Audi S5 convertible.
It was a car I had wanted for several years, and the job I had out of law school made it possible. Two years in, I had gotten a new job in California, and instead of a flight, the firm agreed to pay for a cross-country road trip, a dream I had for a long time.
My Audi was a German car, but driving it was an American experience. I saw every vista from “This Land Is Your Land”: venturing on my first road trip from the New York island of Manhattan to the redwood forests of California; following the Gulf Stream waters starting in Tampa and up the East Coast; gazing up at endless skyway above ribbons of highway in Nevada; descending from the Rocky Mountains into the golden valley of the Colorado river; roaming and rambling through the sparkling sands of the Bonneville Salt Flats’ diamond desert; traversing backroads in Big Sur marked “private property”; passing through waving wheat fields in Kansas and rolling dust clouds in wide-open Texas; and watching the fog lift over the San Francisco Bay.
My car meant freedom. After moving back in with my parents during the pandemic, it was my escape both literal and figurative. I visited Adirondack State Park in New York for the fourth time; drove down to Florida and up through Daytona, Savannah, and Charleston; and ventured to the rugged Baxter State Park and pristine Acadia National Park in Maine. Locally, I regularly left the house for my rotation of Mancini’s pizza, EB Chinese, Wendy’s, and Wasabi House—all eaten in my car, with the top down if weather permitted. For a taste of Tsukiji, Tokyo, I would travel to Flatbush for Koma Sushi’s all-you-can-eat bluefin tuna events (and pick up Rita's water ice for my parents). I was responsible for my family's grocery shopping for many months, and before returning home in my Audi, I would often indulge in a ball of fresh-made mozzarella the size of my fist.
My 2011 Audi S5 Premium Plus Cabriolet was purchased on June 7, 2014 at Audi Meadowlands in East Rutherford, New Jersey. The dealer pulled a little sales trick: I came in to see a black certified pre-owned model listed for a price in my budget. The car was fine, but it was dusted in a layer of dirt. Given that I was moving to sunny California, black was not my preferred color. Then, of course, a beautiful, shiny “quartz gray metallic” S5 rolls up. The color was striking, taking on a tint of its environment while maintaining its own presence. It was especially beautiful under the blue sky. I couldn’t help but stretch my budget.
Car designer Walter di Silva, who was responsible for the design strategy of Lamborghini, Bugatti, and Audi for several years, called the Audi A5 his favorite design. It's hard to argue with that. It’s as close to timeless design as a car can get, and the convertible version was clearly very carefully engineered. The aerodynamics with the wind deflector in place are like magic. You can drive comfortably with the top down even in freezing weather. And at highway speeds, rain flows smoothly over your head.
It was a wonderful ride; the suspension was sporty and stiff, and the car was heavy so there were plenty of “thuds,” but it was never uncomfortable. The sport seats were a thing of beauty, and even after consecutive days of driving seven hours or more, I never had a hint of back pain. There were a few ergonomic quirks, like the steering wheel blocking the turn-signal indicators when adjusted to my preferred position, but otherwise it felt molded to my needs. (I especially appreciated the elbow room that later, slimmer S5 models didn't offer.)
Sure, the drive-by-wire gas pedal didn’t have the immediacy or feedback of the mechanically linked throttle on my previous car, and the supercharged V6 couldn’t launch the car as fast as the 400 horsepower V8 I had experienced in a Corvette, but it always had power to spare—even at its computer-limited maximum speed of 155 miles per hour. The “exhaust note” was also not the most harmonious, but the first time I experienced that “Audi burp” was unforgettable. The steering was not quite as precise as on the BMW 335i and 435i I had cross-shopped, but the sport differential gave it a turning ability much better than would be expected of a car of that weight. So it was not a perfect car, but it was a fun car.
And it was practical car. The rear seats were borderline suitable for adult humans, but the rear space was copious. Sometimes it became my mini pickup, hauling boxes from Costco, a lounge chair for my office, or even 2x4s for a building project. I knew how to fit each of my suitcases in for maximum efficiency.
My car was also very personal. I had driving companions for only two of my road trips: my second cross-country trip and my tour of all eight Ivy League colleges in one day. Every other road trip was either solo or with someone who remained a passenger. A generous ex-girlfriend kept it in her covered parking spot while I grew my business in India, and my dad graciously took the car out every few weeks while I was living in the Philippines. But that was it. Besides a few valets and mechanics doing routine test drives, probably not more than four or five other people drove the car the entire time I owned it.
I bought my S5 in a time of prosperity and promise. Perhaps I should have sold it earlier and switched to something more modest. When things were tough, I had to refinance, but it remained the last symbol that I hadn't lost everything. I clung to it, for better or for worse.
As my parents leave our family home and I rid myself of many of my old possessions, none is as meaningful as that car. Even though I have been living in the Philippines for most of the past seven years, I am starting a new chapter in my life. I'm excited for new adventures, in vehicles and otherwise.
And my next car will be even cooler.

Our wedding reception planning has turned into a nightmare filled with disappointment and frustration. Despite our hopes of celebrating our love and individuality, we're being bombarded with demands from guests who insist that their enjoyment hinges on specific drinks, music, and guest list inclusions.
It's disheartening to realize that some people care more about their own preferences than respecting our wishes. We had to make tough decisions due to our budget, opting for a smaller, intimate gathering with only our closest friends and family. Yet, there's this expectation that we should invite everyone, regardless of how distant our relationship is with them.
It feels like we're being forced to sacrifice our authenticity to appease others. Who is this party for, anyway? Are we supposed to forget about our own desires and identities just to ensure everyone else has a good time? It's a tough pill to swallow, and it's making us question whether this celebration is truly about us or merely catering to the whims of others.
Perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps I need to reconsider and find a way to better cater to the guests while still staying true to ourselves. But it's a difficult balance to strike, and right now, it feels like our voices are being drowned out by the expectations of others.
Edit: This is what's causing a stir: We opted for Costco Kirkland alcohol, which has rubbed some people the wrong way. Sharing our music playlist also backfired; it's a mix of '80s hits (like The Cure, Depeche Mode, and New Order) and modern/90's techno EDM. Interestingly, neither side of our families is keen on dancing, so we're spicing things up with games and activities, offering gift card prizes. For instance, we've crafted a giant Plinko board, and the top three high scores will snag $50 gift cards. We're open to most music, but country is a hard pass for us. Surprisingly, four people have actually un-RSVP'd after seeing our music and liquor choices. Our families are very demanding and very opinionated. They know about the music and liquor only because they reached out and asked us.

Found a local wholesaler who has good reviews. He buys pallets of TVs it seems and sells at a lower cost. The discount ranges from 700-1100. He says they are all open box returns that he checks, and lets the buyer inspect before purchase. Only catch is they do not come with factory warranty, he just provides his own 3 month grace period where he will change out the TV if there are any issues.
I’ve done my diligence and he seems legit, I’m just concerned if it’s common for TVs to begin showing signs of defect after 3 months. Just not sure if I should take the risk and get a better TV or stick to my budget and get a lower quality option from Costco/Best Buy. He deals almost only with Sony, if that helps with the reliability. Would love any input, thanks in advance!

So glad I found this group. I have a serious problem and am at wits end. Please excuse the longwinded and likely confusing post. This entire ordeal has caused me physical, mental, and emotional damage that can't be repaired.
I co-founded a company with my dad in the early 2000s after the dot-com meltdown. I thought since he appeared to successfully run multiple companies in the past, I would have a chance to see him in action and build my career in the process.
Instead he decided to give me an honorary title ("CIO") which had nothing to do with my experience (I am marketer, corporate strategist, analytics expert, and customer success person) nor was one that the company needed or respected. It was very clear early on that every time I tried to do anything that showed true IT leadership or something that resembled IT, they balked, but they were more than happy to ask me to install software on their computers, replace hard disks on their broken laptops and the like -- I am not a help desk person; I'm a seasoned professional who has helped multiple companies grow their business from 0 to 8 figures, taught thousands of people, and built/strengthened relationships between the companies I worked for and their customers, helping my employers avoid tons of money in terms of potential lawsuits.
Being the good son, I grudgingly kept going as he continued to hire increasingly lower quality candidates and making bad business decision after another which was a total shock to me. The worst part was he only paid me room and board, wanted me to work for him 24/7/365 (I worked weekends, holidays, and evenings while everyone else in the company took time off) and expected me to be in essence the company slave.
I eventually managed to escape for a bit to begin rebuilding my career even though my parents tried to sabotage me at every opportunity. During this time, they stressed me out so much I ended up losing almost all of those jobs because they refused to accept my boundaries and emotionally blackmailed me into taking their damaging advice - and if that wasn't bad enough, they can't even remember which companies they fucked me over with.
Fast forward to 2017 or so. I started to build traction as a corporate advisor and had a opportunity to teach at a highly respectable school, but once again their abuse was too much. Instead of leaving me alone, they demanded that I sell cell phones at Costco because "that was a job where I worked 40 hours a week" even though I would have made lots more doing the jobs I picked. It was by far one if the worst jobs I ever had, but my mom decided to strongarm my dad into officially hiring me, but at a salary where I made close to nothing, but at least I would finally be paid something.
While this was going on, the company was hemorrhaging money while he stupidly paid everyone else he hired market rate out of fear they would quit (which most of them did by 2021 during the "Great Resignation").
I managed to get a contract which gave me a brief break from my family at the end of 2021, but once again as soon as it ended. I grinded really hard and worked with a career coach and miraculously got an offer to be a Director Marketing with a fast track to CMO in less than a year in a company that would have finally helped me reboot my career yet again. However, I couldn't accept that one once again to emotional blackmail - something that my friends constantly remind me was the biggest mistake of my life.
Fadt forward to this year. My dad officially made me officially work for someone else -- a certifiably crazy Indian guy who was hired because he was the friend of the CTO. He loved the opportunity to boss me around and delegate even more menial jobs to me which continued to deflate my ego. While he would have been great as an assembler, he was given an executive level job and I continued to get pushed futher into the dirt.
As of now, my dad has finally accepted after dumping millions of dollars into the company that it needs to go out of business, though my mom and him argue every day that they need to keep trying. They clearly have no idea what they are doing and the only remaining employees -- me, my boss and the CTO are left in a position if anything breaks, the company is good as dead. The worst part about this is that my dad returned not to paying me and he is still paying the other two because he's afraid they'll leave. He knows I can't leave because if I do, then they will simply threaten to make me work as a janitor somewhere... and given how bad the economy is, I bet I couldn't even get that job either.
One positive note - I did manage to save some money along the way, but since most apartments around here ( SF Bay Area) expect you to make 3x the rent price to get an apartment there's no way I can possibly rent one - even a 1BR apartment is out of reach for me -- can you believe that my parents have fucked me up so badly that I can't even do that?
That leaves me with very little in terms of options.
How do I move forward? I'm going to be 53 on May 20 and I feel like I truly lost 20+ years of my life due to this nonsense and don't know what to do.
Does anyone have any suggestions?

• Couch surfing is not an option. I can't Couch surf at friends isn't a viable option because none of them respect me very much and despite grinding as hard as I can to get another job that will give me the money to move out, I just can't seem to land one despite countless referrals, endorsements and introductions to the hiring teams as well as personally knowing the hiring managers themselves.
• Should I pack up / sell everything I own except for a few changes of clothing and move somewhere cheaper or out of the country knowing I don't have a job lined up and don't know when I will? When arguing with my parents they always threaten me to do it, they stop at nothing to pull me into their web once I actually get away for a while.
• Should I try to move with relatives and risk bring disowned? Full disclosure, that's not going to work because my extended family thinks my mom is crazy and they don't need this drama in addition to their own problems?
• Should I buy a van and live in it so i can get away from them and have a form of transportation? I checked prices on Craigslist for a cheap one and they are still really expensive?
• Should I risk living with a complete stranger that may steal my property or worse leaving me worse off than where I started?

I am not going to do anything illegal and sure as hell I am not going to live in a homeless shelter either.
Please help!

Hi! New here, a friend recommended this sub after I complained about my bra woes. I had a double mastectomy and reconstruction several years ago. Everything went well in terms of healing, but I find bra shopping to be a real struggle and am hoping for some suggestions. Please let me know if I should add more or less information or if I tagged the post incorrectly.
Background: I had a very large chest pre-op (38H or so, US), and mostly wore Lane Bryant underwire bras because that’s the main thing that fit me. It was impossible (and honestly not really desirable) to recreate my former chest with the implants. Doctors gave me very large silicone implants under the muscle after I did expanders. I don’t remember the exact CCs but I remember my doctor flipping to the far back of the pamphlet. Compared to other friends who have had mastectomies, I had more issues with extra skin and volume and fluid. Overall I think my implants came out very well - I’ve had other nurses and doctors tell me as much. The main lingering thing is that I want to wear a bra all the time, including for sleep, because I find that some mild compression feels better. The muscles can get sore if I go braless for long, thought it’s easy enough to do for a special occasion like a fancy dress.
I’d like to find some nicer bras to invest in. I’ve mostly gotten by with things I’ve grabbed off the shelf at Costco after some department store runs left me teary and stressed. I haven’t really done much online shopping.
Current Needs * I used the calculator and it said I was 38DD/E. I’ve generally not tried traditional bra sizes lately and just stuck to XL sizing. * I cannot do underwire or anything that is significantly structured. I compare my current breasts to already wearing a bra. It’s like I’m looking for a bra to wear over a bra, if that makes sense. They have some give to them, but they mostly stand up on their own and aren’t really squishy. Anything with underwire just ends up riding up over my boobs. * I do like a molded bra. The breasts are slightly misshapen and so something that does the smoothing and molding of a t-shirt bra makes clothes sit much more nicely, especially if they are at all clingy. So finding something with some padding (but absolutely no push-up) is best, as it gives my breasts a more rounded natural shape. I’ll also say that I really prefer when any lining is sewn in, I’ve mostly had removable insert bras and find them more annoying to wash/maintain. * I have more loose skin/fat underneath my arms and around my back. I liken it to my former breasts pulled the skin forward with their weight, and now there’s nothing pulling it so it gets more bulgy easily. Anything smoothing or with extra wide bands would be a plus. One contradiction of that is that I have also enjoyed my new cleavage options, so something that has that side coverage but a deep v in front would be ideal (if it exists…) * Previously I’ve had more success with bralettes, sports bras, or other pull over options, but I really prefer bras that have a clasp in the back for wearing under work tops, etc. They are easier to take on and off. And non-racerback strap options would be good for certain shirts. And soft fabric is very important for skin irritation, etc. I had some fun when I first had my surgery getting “cute” lacy bras, but they are itchy!
Whew that seems like such a long wishlist! I’ve been hiding out in Costco sports bras to avoid this for years, but am ready to try some things again. I realize my entire wishlist may not exist in a single bra, but would love some tips and ideas. I’ve gotten targeted ads for Honeylove, which seemed promising, but not sure what else to look at. There’s a whole new world of bras out there since I last went shopping!

Just saw these Keith Urban guitars on sale at Costco for $100. As a player for 24 years and some who owns expensive custom shop stuff, I loved this guitar!! I usually don't recommend cheap guitars, but having some hands on with it, I totally think it's a good buy!! Just know resale will suck, but that's ok.

Please note this is the original submission I sent Refinery29. In the current post,they have given me a second credit card with a 100$ balance, as well as generational trauma from World War II and cut context for other things. I am trying to get that fixed.
Per previous discussion in comments here: The espresso machine is a Bezzera, which ranges from 2-5K. We got ours on sale for 1.7K, it’s a work house and we use it everyday, still hurts that we spent that money on a coffee maker.
I do understand mortgage is debt but when you compare it to rent to a lesser value condo in Vancouver it feels like not debt at all, which is how I tend to think of it. Yes I owe my mortgage but also I get my house instead of renting-which may not have become clear.
Please see in full the diary, below (edit for formatting via mobile)
Occupation: Sr Business Analyst
Industry: Tech
Age: 30
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
Salary: 92,000$ (Spouse makes 60,000$ for a combined income of 152,000$ before tax)
Net Worth: ~ 1.2 Million ( house is valued at 989,000$ currently, we have a combined 150,000 in pension, and ~60,000 in various company stocks, and GICs)
Debt: 3,000$ in a zero interest credit card for a 10 month period. We balanced transferred and pay 400$/month. Debt was acquired in Q4 2023 when we had to buy Snow Tires, and do a full break replacement as well as Christmas. 480,000$ in a mortgage, we refinanced in September 2023 for five years fixed rate at accelerated biweekly, however I don’t consider our mortgage debt due to the equity we are gaining, and that our mortgage for a five bedroom, 3 bath single family home is less than rent for a two bedroom condo in Vancouver
Paycheck Amount (Every 2 Weeks): 2,555$ after taxes. (Just mine). Spouse makes 2,308$ after taxes. Our pay periods are alternating.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses Mortgage: 1450$ biweekly (100$ extra to the principal).
Utilities: ~200$ (includes water [paid quarterly], hydro [paid bimonthly], gas, sewetrash [paid quarterly] phone [highly discounted due to work plans for spouse and myself] and car gas) Loan Payments: 400$/Credit Card
Car Insurance: 84$
Life Insurance: 167$ combined (67$ me, 100$ spouse)
Health & Dental Insurance: 60$ deducted from pay (coverage for myself and spouse from my employer. Spouse also has coverage for both of us deducted from pay)
Retirement Contribution: 400$ (Employee matches me), (Spouse has a defined pension through work and contributes ~200$ month)
Union fees: 70$ Spouse
Subscriptions: Crave 22$/month (Recent splurge for Binge watching the Rookie), Playstation Plus 100$ (annual bought on Black Friday Deal), Amazon Prime 80$ (Annual), BCAA 120$ (annual) Gym 30$/month (we both have one so 15$/pp)
Note: My spouse and I have completely commingled finances. I will be tracking both as it’s essentially I spent whatever they spent
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
There was always the expectation. My father was very clear, we were very smart. There was no way we’d be wasting our potential. He wanted me to be a lawyer, but unlike other immigrant parents, I got to choose my major and went into social sciences and got my masters in history. I deferred my PhD too much so I got dropped by the program.
I chose my university by where I got a full first year scholarship and then after that took about 15k in student loans for my undergraduate. My parents paid my rent and I got a part time job for food.
For my masters, I had a student line of credit and 5 k student loans otherwise it was all my savings and scholarships. With the line of credit, I had a total of 30K in student loans and paid it off in about four years.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Save. We talked about how you get a dollar allowance and half of it goes into long term saving with 25% in short term and 25% in spend.
Investing came after I was eighteen. Family would like us to invest in property, however I don’t really want to be a landlord, but also we wouldn’t get to really enjoy profit of owning a rental property due to other family circumstances.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Ice cream parlour I was twelve and my parents made me get it for responsibility. I lasted three weeks because I hated it.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I grew up thinking we were not rich, because we didn’t get big plane vacations (I didn’t count flying from Toronto to Vancouver every summer as a vacation since we were just seeing family but staying in a house my parents owned) and I had only been to Disney twice.
But we had a big new build house in the rich end of town, my mom stayed home to raise all of us. We had to work for things (like going to see a movie opening night or a new CD) but we always had money and got what we wanted. In retrospect, my family was/is fairly well off.
Both my parents grew up poor, with parents working multiple jobs and different shifts to make ends meet, the strive/drive to not have that childhood, and for my father to be able to retire his parents really impacted mine and my siblings and cousins lives. My father showed me the apartment he grew up in Chinatown a few years back. It’s light years away from the house my grandparents owned when I was a kid and how I grew up.
Do you worry about money now?
Of course. Inflation is real and we are actively planning a wedding for the next year, as well as a baby in the next few years. We also need to buy a second car, so we’re saving for that.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Fully financially responsible? Twenty five. I lived in a family property where I didn’t pay rent in one of the most expensive cities in Canada, so even though I paid all my bills (food and phone), I didn’t have to pay rent. I in fact made money, as I rented rooms out and used the income for house utilities, and paying my student loans down faster. When I moved in with my spouse, I just paid condo fees until we bought our house two years ago which gave me plenty of time to save.
Our financial safety net is family, and our savings. I know my family would bail us out. My spouse’s father would as well. Conversely, we are my spouse’s mother's safety net and we have to keep all our plans in mind that we will be subsidising her.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Yes, I received 50K from my parents once they sold my childhood home, as did both of my siblings. I have also received 10K from one set of grandparents which paid off my car and part of my student loans when I was 21. I will be receiving another inheritance when probate is done for around ~100K. My spouse also has received inheritance which allowed them to buy their first condo in their early twenties when the market was much better. That condo, 50k, and the subsequent upgrading helped us afford our house.
Day 1
10 AM: I drive to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Not how I want to start my Sunday morning but y’know. Normally I’d walk since it’s about 20 minutes but I have a UTI. I’m “lucky” that despite not having a dr because of the health care shortage, my work pays for the Maple app so I could get a dr to write the prescription and order the lab work at 1 am. I’ll do the lab work later this week when I can get an appointment but will take the relief now. Insurance makes the antibiotics free, but I also buy hydrogen peroxide because we’re out and we have a dog that thinks everything is meant to be in her mouth. We’ll buy a bigger one at Costco later. I also bought some oral wound mouthwash because we were out. I come home and my spouse made us breakfast.
Total: 15.90$ paid with debit.
1-2:30 PM: We do our taxes. I have a mini meltdown when I realize the part time bakery job I had for a few months didn’t take off income tax last year, so I owe 800$. Luckily, my partner is getting a refund so we net out positive 400$. The bakery took off income tax in 2022, so unsure why they didn’t in 2023. I made us lunch.
3-6:30 PM: We walk the dog, and watch the Rookie. Some time during that time period, a venue emails us back and is surprisingly affordable at 3k. I also get told that the tattoo artist I want to book with, has not chosen me.
6:30-7:30 PM: I explain what lazy girl dinner is to my spouse and make a lazy girl dinner. After not really grocery shopping since Feb for things besides fresh veg, we need to do a big pantry shop and neither of us want that. We debate about buying a food saver and if we should wait for a sale. My spouse is more frugal than me and has determined we should.
8-9:30 PM: We start season 3 of The Rookie, and then after two episodes we go to bed
Day One Total: 15.90$
Day Two
5:45-8 AM: Wake up and start work. I get up to date with what’s happened on the weekend and check that my automated reports. Sometime before 6:30, I get the kettle on for my spouse’s pour over before I go back to my meetings. There’s a twenty minute gap where I get changed and do my skin care and brush my teeth. I’d love to be a skin care person but honestly I’ve spent too much money on product that I don’t use and that just goes bad. Washing my face and using sun screen is a win.
I also make sure that Spouse’s lunch is in his bag and I get our travel mugs ready. Before, we used to go to Starbucks every day. Starbucks used to do free refills on coffee and tea if you were a rewards member if you bought a coffee or tea so it would cost us $5/day (2.5/pp), and we could get refills all day. While that’s 20$/week, 80$/a month and yes, we could have saved it but back then, that 80$ wasn’t turning the dial anywhere significantly for us—a privileged view.
But now, after COVID where I stopped drinking tea after one day working from home having like 10 cups and thinking I was dying, and Spouse has bought a good grinder and we recently splurged on a stupidly expensive espresso machine we call his Engagement Espresso since it costs the same price as my stupidly expensive ring, we bring our coffees.
8-8:30 AM: We drive to work. Prior to buying our house, we were both work from home and lived in a city with amazing transit. We only needed the one car. Since buying the house and moving to a city where public transit is a joke (the one bus goes past our house every 1.5h), Spouse changed jobs and is in office every day and I have to go in 3 days a week. We need a second car or the e-bike rebate to come through. We debate this in the car, since I’m done at 1 pm, and Spouse works normal hours, I either have to take the bus home, or go to the gym for three hours. Today though, I drop Spouse off. I will pick him up later as he has a half day because of the dentist
8:30-12:30 AM/PM: Work. I find a tech manager and ask them to get me more triple a batteries. Work won’t provide or let me expense batteries for my mouse, despite them replacing my usb mouse with a battery one. The poor admin had to tell me the decision is that we’ll all supply our own batteries. Luckily the tech managers have to have batteries on hand and give them out freely.
I ask my boss how the work from home tax forms work, and he is going to find out.
I run more meetings and work on a request for a dashboard and a business case for a new feature that I have to convince leadership to spend money on.
12:30-1 PM: I drive back to my Spouse because he has a dentist appointment.
While I wait for a spouse, I am incredibly hungry. I’m usually not hungry/don’t eat a proper meal until around 1 in the afternoon and my two granola bars I already ate at the office. I go to the bakery by Spouse’s work and buy a cheese bun for me (3.65$), and an apple pie scone (2.55$) for Spouse as a snack. Spouse points out he won’t be able to eat until after his appointment.
Total: 6.20$ debit
1-1:30 PM: I drop Spouse off, and the car stops working. The engine won’t catch. I try multiple times and then run into the dentist to dramatically announce to Spouse and the receptionists that the car won’t start. Spouse asks me what he wants me to do about this, since he’s about to go into an appointment. A very kind receptionist tells me it might be the alternator. I don’t know what that is.
I go back to the car to Facetime my father. He also asks what I think he can do to help since he lives 3000 km away. Weirdly, and sexistly, I thought a man who grew up at race tracks, in a racing family, or the man who has collected and worked on sports cars for forty years might be able to help.
Spouse texts me to remind me we have BCAA while my father also tells me that. I finally get the engine to catch and drive the very long way home, going the speed limit and getting stuck in traffic, construction and a bus. It takes me 20 minutes to get home instead of 10.
1:30-2:30 PM: I walk the dog, mail a (late) birthday card and then start researching what an alternator is. The car is over a decade old and until the house, the most expensive thing I ever bought at 12K back in 2015. We have the funds for the cost, but it’s my first car and the fact it might be the end of its life is scary.
Alternators can cost between 400-800$ repair with labour, so that’s fun.
My dad calls me back and apologises for asking me what he could do away. He advises me that there’s probably a bald spot on the alternator and advises me to go to the mechanic to check or replace it, if the car doesn’t start again.
I call the mechanic to book an appointment, and to also get the snow tires off and to buy new rims for the snow tires. The mechanic lets me know that the alternator part is 500$, and an hour of labour so with taxes we’re looking at around 700$
That future appointment next week (we’re going down a highway this weekend which requires snow tires) will cost ~1.5K, assuming we replace the alternator.
I make lunch and sigh.
2:30 PM: The car starts thankfully. I drive incredibly slow. I pick up Spouse by idling the car. We get an email back from a venue saying they cost 75,000$ minimum. The timing is hysterical.
Due to the nature of the dentist, Spouse owes 618$, as they haven’t flipped it under my insurance. They split it in half, as he has a follow up in two weeks. After the next appointment they will flip the whole amount under me and we’ll get reimbursed for the whole amount.
Total 309$/credit card.
3-10 PM: We walk the dog, make dinner (Spouse makes white sauce pasta, with chicken and peas) and watch The Rookie. There are thirteen episodes in season three, and we will be busy every night this week besides Friday and Sunday, and I would like to finish season three so we can start season 4 next Monday. I don’t want to pay for more than one month of Crave. We have five episodes left
Day Two Total: 315.2$
Day Three
1 AM: 100$ is automatically transferred from our account to the credit card debit. We have an auto transfer of 100$/every Tuesday to a Visa where we balance transferred both our cards. We have an offer for 0 interest for 10 months, so we did that for some of the bigger expenses (snow tires, break replacement and general Christmas) and are on track to pay it back within the next 6 months. That visa is our emergency card that we just have in the back end and utilise for promos like this. It allows us to keep our two cards balances manageable and lets us pay in an easier way than taking big chunks out of our various savings.
Total: 100$/direct deposit
5:45-9 AM: Work. Meetings, reports, trying to convince a colleague that the process does include them and refusal to follow it means that their requests won’t be done. Spouse has another half day so I can go into the office at my leisure—if the car starts
9-9:20 AM: The car starts, I get into the office and refresh a data flow before a meeting with a new stake holder. It takes longer to drive into work today because the tourists are starting to come and their van builds or campers are not exactly highway speed and with a two lane highway, if you don’t merge over fast enough you’re stuck.
10:05-10:20 AM: Meeting done, car starts again and I drive home for more meetings. The least amount of time in the office is preferable for me.
10:30-11AM : Meeting with my manager where we discuss future salary and promotion. I am due for a promotion in the start of Q2, which would push me to six figures. I’ll believe it when I see it but, I’m really excited at that possibility for my family.
11:15 AM: Spouse leaves for work, we discuss what groceries are needed, as well if he’ll go to Home Depot tonight to buy more clover seeds for the yard, as we need to reseed before it starts raining. I eat a muffin and my dog and cat decide to try and eat each other.
11:15-1:30 PM: Work runs late. There’s some issues with the data and we can’t figure it out. We call it a night, and I’ll record the video presentations tomorrow, once we fix the data.
1:30-4 PM: Nap time! It’s bad for me, but honestly I don’t sleep well during the night so naps are what keep me alive.
4-6 PM I prep dinner (smash burgers and fries), and get chores done and walk the dog.
6-7:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we eat dinner. Groceries come to 96.83 for two 7 pound pork loins, two packs of bacon, chicken nuggets, coffee, pop, 8 pack of peppers, milk, tomato, pickles, rice, avocado, mushrooms, sour cream and lettuce.
Not too bad, we average about 300$/month in groceries because we can buy bulk and have a second freezer.
For the month of March we are currently at 123.61$ for groceries and there is twelve days left. We went on a small weekend away, so we ate out a fair bit but even then our current food budget is 272.27$ today.
Total: 96.83/ debit
7:30-10 PM: Spouse makes a coffee and plays video games with his friends. They do it every week. I have a shower, fold and put away laundry and read in bed.
Day Three Total: 196.83
Day Four
1AM: Our biweekly accelerated mortgage payment comes out of 1450$. I’m tracking it here to be honest on our spending but I tend not to think of it as money spent because in my head it’s already money gone. To pay for a house equivalent in Vancouver, the mortgage would be over 6k. Renting a two bedroom condo would be 3K. It feels like the mortgage is just cheaper rent, even though each time I own more of my house.
5:45-9 AM: Work. I find out the limits of how many people I can invite to a Teams Meeting as well as that the Thursday before Good Friday is a catholic holiday when a few people ask me to reschedule a training forum for over a thousand people. Sometime in there I make us coffee, make sure Spouse has lunch packed (leftovers). Spouse has walked the dog and has the recycling and compost out for pick up. I drop Spouse off at work.
10-11:45 AM: I leave the office for home and more meetings. I walk the dog and go record training videos. I get an email that Amazon is doing their big spring sale. I send a link to a robot mop and vaccum that’s on a big discount to Spouse. We want one, but I’m not in charge of the research on it. I send links to play grounds to my friends with toddlers
11:45-12:30 PM : I shove lunch in my mouth, last night’s left overs. I’m running late, and decide to get myself later by collecting all the random dishes and mugs that just show up places and start the dishwasher. I get to the lab ten minutes early but need to buy gas on the way home.
I tell my team I’ll be MIA for a bit and leave the work phone in the car.
I buy 15.6L of gas for 30$ at 1.879/l it sucks. I don’t fill up because we’re going to my in laws this weekend and there’s a Costco Gas Bar there.
Total: 30$/credit card
12:30-1:30 PM: Work goes long again.
1:30-2:30 PM: Nap!
2:30-4:30 PM: Walk the dog and drive to the gym. I usually go three times a week but with last week’s weekend away and this week’s weird half days from Spouse, today’s the only day. I make it up by doing both upper and lower body and a 30 minute circuit.
4:30-7:30 PM: I pick up Spouse and we go to Costco. We pick up nachos, ham, cheese buns and some other items. We debate buying our friend’s kid a toddler set of clothes and decide no. We end up buying work pants for Spouse, and a garden hose. It comes out to 116.90
I order our Costco dinner of hot dogs and fries for a grand total date night of 6.41$
Total: 123.31/ credit card
8-9 PM: Dance class! We bought a series of six lessons of introduction to ballroom back in December for a new date night idea. We paid 60$/pp and this is the fifth lesson tonight.
9 pm: We’re home, we let the dog out. Spouse spends an undetermined amount of time watching ballroom videos while I sleep.
Day Four Total: 1603.31$ or 153.31 excluding the mortgage payment.
Day Five
5:45-9 AM: Work. All the meetings. Thursday is the meeting day. I debate with a friend what’s the earliest call we’ve had. 4:30 am still wins. I pack lunch for Spouse and his coffee and he leaves. I end up cleaning up cat puke as the cat decides to drink milk from Spouse’s cereal and vomit it up on camera in a meeting.
9-9:30 AM: I make myself a matcha and walk the dog.
9:30-1 PM: Work and I treat myself to a lunch of a cheese bun and ham sandwhich. We used to eat it every Sunday while growing up but the cost of ham has been outrageous. The deal at Costco yesterday was 1.5$/100 g which is really good.
1-1:30 PM: I seal the wooden deer Christmas decoration we bought last year. It sits outside our front door and needs to be weather proofed, and I’ve been putting it off for five months. But the weather is good and we have newspapers. We have left over wood sealer after the sign we bought a year ago so I use that. The dog and the cat both don’t like my wooden deer.
1:30-4 PM: Nap!
4-5 PM: I basically just watch youtube and drink a root beer. I have no energy.
5-6:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog and I make dinner (Kraft Dinner and nuggets–I swear we eat veggies but today is not that day). We discuss the possibility of our dog at our wedding as a flower girl, and if she’ll be in a tutu or a cheongsam like me. I am now researching if they make dog cheongsams and if she can match us. The cat, despite all my heart wanting it, won’t physically be there because he will have an anxiety attack and probably die.
6:30-10:30 PM: Board game night! We go to a friend’s to repeat the same scenario we’ve lost two weeks in a row.
10:30-11 PM: I pack Spouse’s breakfast (oatmeal and frozen berries), lunch (spicy tuna and mayo) since he’s trying to go to the gym before work, and feed the animals before we go to bed.
Day Five Total: 0$
Day Six Friday
5:45-9 AM: Work. I have a deep focus block which means I can get the script for the training I have to run. Public speaking is not my strong suit and it’s a group of a thousand people so I’m not looking forward to it. Spouse almost makes it to the gym. I get an email that my new work phone has shipped. I’m surprised because they wouldn’t order us any for the past four years, but I guess my new iPhone will show up next week. I might give my old work phone to my mother in law, since she smashed the camera on the phone we bought her last year.
9-9:30 AM: I walk the dog, make a matcha and make a todo list for what we have to get done before we leave to my in laws tomorrow. I text my mother in law happy birthday, and hope that she got the card in time. She did.
9:30-11:30 AM: My last meeting for the week ends and I’m debating calling it a day so I can nap. Instead I make lunch (cheese bun and ham), text my other mother in law our plan for Saturday, and unload and reload the dishwasher and go back to work for at least another hour.
12:30-1 PM: I shower and do skin care
1-3 PM: Nap! Somewhere in this time FedEx comes and since I’m sleeping, we have to pick up on Monday. I’m not too sure what it is, I assume it’s our custom address stamp from Etsy because that’s the only thing I’ve bought recently but not too sure. I just realized in retrospect, this might be my new work phone.
3-5 PM: I prep dinner (nachos), unload the dishwasher, pack my overnight bag and confirm all our venue tours by email. I start a load of laundry and do a quick clean. I feel like this is not the best image of our diet. I swear we generally eat healthy but we both have been feeling really blah over the past two weeks so have been going for quick and easy over healthy and balanced. I do have three whole peppers and two whole avocados in the nachos though.
5-7 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog, have dinner, and plan out next week. We have a big Wednesday next week (mechanic, I have a nails appointment, dance class), and we are having our friends over for Easter so we need to prep for that. We pack the car so tomorrow is a very easy start.
Spouse also gets paid today. We’re lucky that we’re on alternating pay periods, we used to be on the same and it always felt stressful. Spouse also lets me know his union has secured a 3% cost of living raise to start in Q3. I really like his union for negotiating a base 2% year of cost of living raise, with potential addition raises depending on inflation. It’s a bit away but that’s still good news.
7:30-10:30 PM: We finish The Rookie Season 3 and head to bed. Crave reminds me that I have 10 days until I’m charged again. Sadly, I think we’ll have to pay for 2 months.
Day Six Total: 0
Day Seven Saturday
8:30-9:30 AM: Wake up. No one (except the dog) slept well so we’re not in a morning mood. Spouse makes coffee and walks the dog, while I finish packing the car and give the cat a lot of attention. Our first venue tour is at 11 and the one that is the most expensive (8-10K), but also the one we probably want the most. We live about an hour away but the highway is two lanes and one accident can back everything up for hours.
10:40-1 PM: We visit our dream venue. We stay way longer than expected. Basically if the quote is under 10K, we’ll get it. Just waiting now.
1-2 PM: We get to our in-laws and have a lunch of egg salad sandwhichs. We need to buy gas. My in laws drive us to a pottery painting store.
2-4 PM: We paint pottery. My mother in law only wanted to do this for her birthday. They’ll pick it up in a week after it’s been thrown. I paint a vase (28$), Spouse paints an Easter egg (18$), father in law paints a mug (30$), and mother in law paints a plate (50$)
Total:143.36/credit card
4-5 Pm: We see another venue. It’s an instant no. My in laws decide they want to try Korean fried chicken. We call ahead for take out to get two fries and 16 pieces of half and half. It comes to 50.83$ that my in laws pay for.
5-10 PM: We come back and see that our dog has pooped in their house and also has gotten into their pantry and eaten an entire bag of dog food. It is not a fun night.
We spend the night drinking wine and discussing the wedding and watching TV.
10PM: We go to bed. That’s the end of this week, but tomorrow we will be buying gas and probably lunch for my other mother in law as we will be touring another venue.
Day Seven Total: 143.36$

Caroline has a full day tomorrow and not to mention it sounds like a very busy real estate career so is it really necessary for her to be picking him up once a week, every week? Why can’t Alex and him ever go to Costco together on Sunday or during the week when Alex gets home from work? I swear they have the strangest relationship. If I couldn’t drive anymore & my husband never took me to the grocery store or shopped for me I would be so pissed. What exactly do they do for each other? Peter should be embarrassed that he has to lean on Caroline who is just as busy as Alex if not more so bc his own husband can’t be bothered to swing by the store.

Hello everyone, I hope you're all doing well. I'm sorry if this sounds so ridiculous. I find myself at a significant crossroads in my life, a decision that might seem straightforward to others.
I'm soon to graduate from an undergraduate engineering program at one of the HYPSMC (Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, MIT, Caltech) schools. I have a full-time job offer in Houston, TX, with a salary of $120K. However, I have reservations about Houston; it's not a place I can envision myself settling down in the long term.
As a 30-year-old non-traditional student, I'm incredibly grateful for this opportunity. Yet, I'm contemplating turning it down to move to Las Vegas to be with my 70-year-old father, who has been instrumental in giving me a second chance at life.
I once chased ambitious dreams, but now I dream of a simpler, more relaxed life that isn't dictated by how others perceive me.
While the logical choice might seem to be to accept the $120K position regardless of my feelings towards the city, I'm drawn to the possibility of working a job at Costco and working my way up to a managerial role, potentially earning $80K. The cost of living in Las Vegas makes this seem possible.
I struggle with the notion that Houston feels lifeless to me. I'd reside there solely due to my educational and career prospects and societal expectations. It feels as though I'm not living my own life but rather maintaining a façade.
Contrarily, I feel alive in Las Vegas. It's not about the nightlife or the entertainment; instead, it's the atmosphere of a neighborhood like the city of Summerlin. The dry heat, the casual cafe conversations with my dad—it's there that I feel like I'm truly living my life.
Some might find it foolish to compare a $120K engineering job to an $80K position at Costco, and I know that. But my heart keeps telling me to chase what truly makes me happy. I'm not and don't want to be concerned with how others perceive my career choices. All I want is enough to support my family, a place to call home, and the simple joy of walking a dog.
Am I being too immature? I'd appreciate harsh truths or wisdom to help me see things more clearly.

Hello everyone, I hope you're all doing well. I'm sorry if this sounds so ridiculous. I find myself at a significant crossroads in my life, a decision that might seem straightforward to others.
I'm soon to graduate from an undergraduate engineering program at one of the HYPSMC (Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, MIT, Caltech) schools. I have a full-time job offer in Houston, TX, with a salary of $120K. However, I have reservations about Houston; it's not a place I can envision myself settling down in the long term.
As a 30-year-old non-traditional student, I'm incredibly grateful for this opportunity. Yet, I'm contemplating turning it down to move to Las Vegas to be with my 70-year-old father, who has been instrumental in giving me a second chance at life.
I once chased ambitious dreams, but now I dream of a simpler, more relaxed life that isn't dictated by how others perceive me.
While the logical choice might seem to be to accept the $120K position regardless of my feelings towards the city, I'm drawn to the possibility of working a job at Costco and working my way up to a managerial role, potentially earning $80K. The cost of living in Las Vegas makes this seem possible.
I struggle with the notion that Houston feels lifeless to me. I'd reside there solely due to my educational and career prospects and societal expectations. It feels as though I'm not living my own life but rather maintaining a façade.
Contrarily, I feel alive in Las Vegas. It's not about the nightlife or the entertainment; instead, it's the atmosphere of a neighborhood like the city of Summerlin. The dry heat, the casual cafe conversations with my dad—it's there that I feel like I'm truly living my life.
Some might find it foolish to compare a $120K engineering job to an $80K position at Costco, and I know that. But my heart keeps telling me to chase what truly makes me happy. I'm not and don't want to be concerned with how others perceive my career choices. All I want is enough to support my family, a place to call home, and the simple joy of walking a dog.
Am I being too immature? I'd appreciate harsh truths or wisdom to help me see things more clearly.

Hi all,
Beginning a search for paddleboards and just found Costco has a limited time deal with a Nautica Frontier Inflatable SUP. Link is here. Has anyone tried this board or purchased it?
There are no user reviews outside of five Amazon reviews, which is probably not the place to get the most accurate feedback.
I'm aware of the monthly megathread but I couldn't find any posts about this board on sup so it could be a standalone post, I can provide height/weight/use in a comment for its viability for my wife and I, newbies who have used a few boards from friends and are getting our own after moving within a 10 minute walk of a very large lake.
A few details on the board:
33 in width
300 lbs. capacity
5.6 in thickness

Just got done building in the Qube 500 Flatpack black edition, very pleasant experience.
Here is my review in bullet points. Then tips on building in the sucker as bullet points, and finally suggestions addressed to CoolerMaster (henceforth "CM") in, you guessed it, motherflippin' bulletpoints.

Review

1. Instructions: The written instructions were not great. Had that "draw the rest of the owl" energy to them. The order of the steps in the guide were all over the place for no reason. Please reassign the Extraterrestrial who writes your manuals to other projects. I feel this whole experience could be optimized and dialed in further. Maybe a number system or a colour code. Maybe CM can do a collab with Ikea and have their people help out. My body is ready for blue/yellow cases.
   
2. Flatpack concept: I really love the flatpack case concept; it's a few tweaks away from being great, and it has the potential to become the new standard for budget and mid-range cases. I really hope CM continues with this concept. Fundamentally, it's just 12 screws. 4 in the back, 4 in the front, 2 for the top and 2 for the bottom. All attached to the central Motherboard tray. Really hard to mess up.
   
3. Packaging: very high quality. The diagrams on the interior were not helpful. I think it was missing an overall diagram illustrating that this was packaged in layers, and you were expected to assemble layer by layer. I mean, I figured it out quickly, but a piece of paper at the top announcing what was going to be happening would have been great.
   
4. Case design elements: Lots of fluff text stamped everywhere on the case itself as well, text written about how each panel is steel, or that the glass is glass. We get it CM. The materials are made of materials
   
5. Cooling: It comes with 1 fan which, if that's all the cooling you use, is not going to be enough if its a gaming rig. I do wish an extra fan was included, I associate 1 case fans with budget cases, and this is definitely not budget feeling or priced. I added a few fans cannibalized from the old case, so no big deal.
   
6. Screws: I really appreciate that there was only one size of screws. That was a nice touch. Please only ever do this going forward for all the stuff you make. Give a raise to the person who came up with that idea. The inclusion of only silver coloured screws with the black case was dissapointing. What a weird corner to cut.
   
7. Extras: I really wish I could have bought extra accessories, attachments, panels or parts for the Qube when I ordered it. I understand from the promo materials that it's designed to play nice with 3D printing to some extent, but a modular design BEGS for a part catalogue for customization. The Macaron edition, with its extra cosmetic panels, is a good first step, but those should be available separately too. This case badly needed more options. This could be a flagship product for you guys, if the logistics can keep up with an initial marketing push.
   
8. Radiator Bracket: Without a mesh side panel for the left of the case I'm not sure I understand the point of the hinged radiator bracket. It's certainly not providing much in the way of sturctural integrity and without a flow through for air, why bother? Unless the case can be modded to switch the panels? I read nothing about that in the documentation provided and all the promo pics show it behind the glass panel. Weird. Thankfully it's removeable. If panels can be flipped and moved around, please indicate it more clearly. If they can't, well, why not?
   

Tips and tricks

My specific build was a "put lipstick on a pig" kind of project. Basically a case swap for an older system to make it re-sellable. The construction quality of this thing bumped a budget-looking system to premium-looking. Very happy with the result.

1. PSU positioning: My pig uses a non-modular ATX PSU. I was very apprehensive as the GPU option I wanted to put in, a 3070, was "too long" technically speaking and although I had a smaller PSU available, I did not want to swap it given the price point I'm going for with this build.
   Thankfully the GPU went in with room to spare. How? Turns out one of the pros of a fully non-modular PSU is all the cables come out in one area and so the spot where PSU connectors would normally interfere with a long GPU is totally clear and Cooler master had a channel just waiting there to route the PSU cables. See here.
   After testing, even if I would have placed the PSU in the lowest mounting bracket offered by the case (for water cooling), there would have been room for a longer GPU with this PSU configuration. Very cool!
   
2. Cable Management: Given that there is plenty of room behind the motherboard tray for cable management and plenty of tie-down points, the Qube turned out to be fantastic for cable management even with all the extra PSU cabling I had to deal with (my Pig also uss a 2.5 SSD drive too). Overall it looks much neater than I expected despite the unshrouded PSU situation. Honestly this might be the thing that surprised me the most about the case. It looks really clean. Granted I did a lot of the cable management as I went, BEFORE the step where CM suggests doing a bit of cable management (lol).
   I really disliked how unhelpful CM's instructions were in this regard. I did all of this out of experience, but I could see new builders getting frustrated. This case has plenty of room to cable manage when disassembled, and it in fact a pretty pleasant experience, but you really need to be diligent and ask yourself at every step what can you tidy up at that point.
   
3. Cooling: A Thermal Right Peerless Assassin 120 SE fits and has plenty of clearance even with the radiator bracket. Sucking in fresh air will be challenging however.
   I mounted fans to the panels as I installed them and spent a good amount of time routing motherboard cables prior to having the side panels locked in to help with airflow and clear obstructions. I used U cable adapters for the GPU's power connectors to keep them flat and out of the way and used black electrician tape to bundle and clean up hanging connectors here and there as much as possible.
   Ultimately, I placed the PSU in the highest bracket as I wanted space for a front fan and airflow. As a result of the PSU situation, I was able to fit a 140 mm fan in the front of the case with no obstruction, as well as another fan at the bottom close to the front's fan, creating a corner intake area. I added two top 140mm fans as well and kept the case's back 120 mm fan.
   
4. Future layout options: I could probably have 3 X 120 mm fans at the bottom of the case, although I'm leaning towards instead getting a PCIE riser cable to vertically mount the GPU. I think it will look nicer and give more room for the air to move diagonally. Based on my rough estimates it should not interfere with the bottom fan I already installed and CM includes an adapter to reorient the slots at the back. This layout possibility was unexpected (as I would have gotten a PCIE riser otherwise). This computer will look much nicer than I expected.
   
5. Power On: Don't forget to switch on the PSU before wrapping up. That said, two screws are between you and lifting the top panel if you did forget so don't worry too much about it.
   
6. Back Fan Cable: The included fan's connector cable position can interfere with the back panel's attachment (it gets squeezed in). I suggest fully routing the cable preemptively before screwing that in.
   
7. Hook up all the Mobo's connectors before screwing the panels together: I suggest routing and connecting anything and everything that latches on to the Motherboard as soon as you can. I'd route the PSU cables before actually attaching the PSU to the case as well, just in case you need to plug and unplug things for cable routing purposes. Once everything is in, especially with a chonky aircooler, it's incredibly difficult to access anything on the Motherboard. Very happy I'm selling this system rather than upgrading it, lol. Accessing the GPU release thingy is a nightmare on a cheaper motherboard. If you do need to do that, remove the bottom panel completely and slide a chopstick under there to press it.
   
8. Fan/RGB connectors: If you go with a Front-Bottom Pull to Top-Back Push airflow configuration, be mindful of the layout of the fan power connectors on your motherboard. You might need a fan controller. Same story with RGB connectors.
   

Suggestions for CM

1. Screw screws: Given the thickness of the panels, a snap system of some kind could have been used instead of screws altogether. A screwless flatpack case... maybe a collab with Lego instead? I'd love to connect the case panels lego style via overlapping panels touch points. If you added lego style texture to different parts of the case the amount of buzz you'd get on social media from people building little worlds in their case would absolutely be worth the hassle.
   
2. Side Panel Cowardice: Very disappointed that there is no left mesh side panel option and just glass. I feel the radiator bracket was included for that use case, but someone at CM chicken'ed out midway through production and here we are, with a useless bracket and a fragile glass panel.
   The glass panel stands out like a sore thumb considering the rest of the case is built like a Tank. Without that glass panel the amount of packaging and therefor the size of the flatpack itself could have been significantly shrunk down further which would have been fantastic. Really a missed opportunity here.
   
3. Give me diversity or documentation (ideally both): Although I appreciate all the different configurations you present outright (air, water, test bench), making side panels interchangeable (left/right) and allowing the front panel to be reversable (top/down) so that the IO is properly oriented for a side build (with feet that can be latched to the side panel), would have been better. Is it possible? I don't know! I did not see any mention of that in the confusing documentation you provided me. If these things ARE possible, then better documentation is necessary.
   
4. Simpler core design, more options: The interior motherboard tray is a bit overengineered. A simpler design could help lower the cost of the case and probably make it easier for you to make. CM could make fancy layouts still possible, by selling optional mobo trays, panels and parts that are compatible with a fundamentally simpler primary design. I think the "Qube 600 / Qube CM X Ikea / Qube CM X Lego / whatever the next iteration is going to be called" should have a much simpler design and instead feature a robust catalogue of optional panels and parts for customization.
   
5. Cable free cutouts: If you insist on overengineering your interior motherboard tray, then the Qube series would be a prime candidate for some of those new "cable-free motherboards" with the cables facing backward that require special cutouts.
   
6. Centre motherboard tray, flipped GPU, wait, did I just invent the Micro-Qube?: Alternatively, including a PCIE riser cable to allow the mounting of the GPU behind the motherboard tray would allow for a shorter tower and the now centred motherboard tray could provide more structural rigidity. "Bottom-Top" or "Side" airflow would be necessary but it would look killer. Maybe that could be the basis of a SFF "M-Qube" design?
   
7. Your hotdog moment: If you are going to include only 1 fan. Can it be nicer? This fan does not make me want to even bother looking at CM fans for the rest of the build. If you cut corners on your case with this fan, what corners are you cutting with your case fans? Think beyond the case for a moment. If you provide consumers with a super amazing fan or two in your cases, with a fairly unique design would that not lead to consumers buying more of the same fans to match? If it's only one fan, sure, swapping that out is doable, but if you include 2 or 3 of those with each case, then swapping all those out feels wasteful. Much easier to just add to them. Especially if they perform well.
   Consider this your Costco Hotdog. Include great fans. Hell, if you want to guarantee people pick your fans, use a bigger form factor (180 mm and 200 mm) If you design them unique enough, you are basically forcing people to buy into your fan ecosystem since there's almost no competition to begin with at those sizes.
   
8. Listen to the Bees: Why is the pattern of a case made by CM, a company with a hexagon as it's logo, circles rather than a grid of hexagons?
   Have you guys not received the memo? Hexagon is the bestagon.
   You need to leverage the competitive advantage you have in this area of geometry and leverage it hard. Across from me now sits the Lian Li 216. You know what I see at the back of it? Lots and lots of CM logos? Why? Because, they paid attention in geometry class and know it's the most efficient design to minimise waste in a pattern. Hexagons = better airflow. CM, wacha doin' baby. This should be YOUR thing.
   You could even integrate hexagons into your IO or better yet, integrate your IO into the hexagon design of your cases. Your case buttons are okay, but you need to do better. Go. Wild. With the motherboard cutouts of the motherboard tray, the screw heads, the included fan(s), if you can shape it like a hexagon, do it. OWN THAT SHAPE!
   I PROMISE you nobody will complain. This is a no-brainer. Come on guys...
   

Conclusion

Anyway, I'll be waiting for your request to sign off to you all the rights to all the good ideas I've provided you today, accompanied by a fat check or a custom made system of equal value featuring lots of hexagons. 🐝
You're welcome.
Now please go redesign the Hyper 212 Evo. ThermalRight has stolen your budget crown and you need to fire back with a dynamite value proposition...
Might I interest you in a hexagon-shaped radiator and fan setup? The CM Hexacooler? You know, to launch your new series of hexagon shaped fans. The world is ready CM, do it.
(T.L.;D.R.) Oh yeah, the case, ahem, 8/10. Better than expected, but still short from greatness.

About a month ago I decided to try physical space selling and signed up for a 50,000 attendee toy show, as an artist. I probably would have done much better applying to a smaller art specific show, but I have collected a lot of toys that I will trade randomly too So I figured it would be a good way to lure people into the Artwork.
Mistake 1: The Setup
I'll Post the picture below so you can see what the setup looked like in the end.
I paid $70 for a 10x10 space. If I was smart, anytime during the month leading up I would have taken a measuring tape and made a 10x10 square, And then proceeded to make my setup exactly how I wanted it to be in the show.
It's a lot more space than I expected.They gave me an 8x2.5 or something table. I also brought a 2x4 foldable table.
This held the four comic book boxes. Trying to fit the rest of the merchandise on the 8x2 was proving to be difficult. Luckily, I noticed the vendor next to me had extra tables sitting on the floor and were already set up. They were gracious enough to let me use their 4x4 and I made a weird U design because everyone decided to use 2 feet of my section As the walkway to getting in and out and I felt awkward closing it up 😂
Mistake 2: product layout
Once I had everything where I wanted it, I would have actually stocked it as if I were at the convention. Yeah it would have been a little bit of work but it would have saved me so much more work in the end. I was rushing to get everything out on the table and all of the little stands and displays that I brought and had to redo it like three times when I would find something I forgot I brought. Or be like "but I need like this section available so people can see me I need to shift everything." Even the addition of the third table wasn't instantaneous so I had to account for that later.
Mistake 3: Give yourself time for everything. Expect everything will take multiple hours and then if it doesn't you will be so happy that you have those hours back!
In a nightmare scenario, I had planned to get there at about 5:00 pm the night before because we were allowed to set up until 9:00 so if I needed anything I could run down the street and get it at home Depot or something.
I was running a little later than I thought I would be due to my poor time management, So I got my art stuff loaded up and hopped in my car assuming that all of the toys I had gotten together we're in the bag behind me. In the greatest f*** you moment of my life, I learned Joe Biden was in town. The drive to the convention center was supposed to be 1 hour. At one point I was doing 2 mph down 405. As I'm about halfway there, it suddenly dawns on me that I moved that bag behind me into my storage unit 2 days prior because I didn't want my car getting smashed into to steal all of these boxed Rangers and whatnot. It's not unheard of in my area.
Too late to turn around now because I wouldn't have even made it to the convention center by 9:00. I did the art part of my setup and the two tables that night and then went home. Due to how late I was getting back and how early I had to be there in the morning, coupled with my storage units hours, I thought I had to go without half my merchandise.
Mistake 4: Steele your emotions.
Logically I know that nothing happens if I don't have those toys. Other than I miss out on a couple hundred dollars but there will be more shows and I can always sell them later or online if I would like. But this sent me spiraling because I have been so nervous about this show for the whole month. Also there may have been lingering effects of high emotions from the delics 😅 I got back to the storage unit at 9: 48 thinking it closed at 9:00 and by the grace of Leviathan, it was 10. Mini mistake, Make sure you're well rested and celebrate after the show, not before it 😭
Mistake 5 and 6: Know your audience and have someone review your setup
For my toys I had been going to places like Walmart clearance and finding things that were worth a lot more online. It didn't dawn on me that just having a bunch of random toys from different genres sends a very incohesive vibe.
I also had a poster board with a bunch of my 4x6, 5x7, and 8x10s taped to it with my Instagram handle written at the top. I set this up last second and just picked random pictures. Also a giant 30x40 canvas painted Pink Galaxy Venom mouth spray painted because two days prior. I've never spray painted before but it seemed like an angry way to paint. My girlfriend's abusive ex who loves to come into our lives and stir some s*** up to get attention then leave, decided this was the time he was going to do that. He gas lit my ex into thinking he was about to come he gas lit my ex into thinking he was about to come murder he gas lit my ex into thinking he was about to show up and murder me. You know, not great when I'm busy trying to get ready for my very first convention. Hard to sell stuff while I'm dead. I wanted to stay productive but I was still annoyed and decided to take my aggression out.
The point of this is that not a single person the entire 9 hours of the show even commented on it. I know it's my first time with that medium but I figured someone would at least go "huh." At it? 😂 Know your Target demographic. They were there for vintage toys. That was a lot of space I could have used for other things with proper planning.
My total sales for the day, $716. 500 was from comics, 143 was from Toys, and 73 was from the artwork.
Mistake 7: know your prices
I didn't even bother to finalize what I was going to charge for everything. When people would ask me how much the art was because their kids really liked it, I just made things up as I went. I sold 2 5x7's. One went for 5 and the other 15. I sold five 8x10 prints. One for 20, 3 as a bundle for 45, and one for $40. I missed out on a lot of sales for various reasons why not just having it listed somewhere.
It kind of feels like the cost doesn't matter so long as you have one they can see. If you're struggling to figure out what to charge, just ask yourself what number would you be comfortable no longer owning this thing. Don't go lower than that.
Mistake 8: look at your competition
Both online and offline see what they are doing and what they are charging. Walk around the space and look at how they are setting things up, organizing them, displaying them. Take notes of things that you may need for next time If you haven't done an event yet, I highly suggest googling it. I really wish I had.
And finally, mistake 9: Bring cash and set up your payments beforehand.
If you're using square, go to Best buy and get a square reader or order one. I missed multiple sales because I couldn't swipe a card. Also bring about 50 $1 bills and 10ish 5's if you are dealing with lots of small and or odd Numbers. My very first customer wanted bought $13 worth of things with a $100 bill. Which technically I don't even know If it's real because I don't have a pen to check it. Maybe bring that too. And a lunch. I had to go get more ones which means I had to buy a $9 single slice of pizza from the convention center. I could have bought a whole pizza for that at Costco 😭
There were some other standout stories if y'all want to hear them but I don't want this to get too long. I'll happily answer any other questions because it was such a fun time and I can't wait to do it again. I highly recommend people jumping on it both for the sense of community, friends, Entertainment, And even after all my expenses I still profited. Next time I will do it better and that profit to time ratio should be much higher lol.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/GreasyBlackbird. She posted in badroommates.
Thanks to u/ChickPeaEnthusiast for finding this older one.
Trigger Warning: unspecified eating disorder; binge eating
Mood Spoiler: Sad but tentative ok ending
Original Post: April 8, 2024
I (30F) am temporarily renting out half of a 2bed 2.5bath condo for a 3 month contract. I live with the owner (47F). When I moved in she told me she had lost 100lbs a year or two ago without working out. I have since come to learn she has a ‘health coaching business’…. aka she is in an MLM. She only eats powdered supplements all day and has one keto meal at night. I looked into her ‘company’, it is essentially a starvation diet and the supplements are quite expensive.
None of this is a problem for me, live and let live as long as you don’t try to recruit me to the scam. The issue comes in, at least once a week she binge eats huge quantities of my food. It’s high fat, keto type foods - entire jars of almond butter, bags of shredded cheese, 1lb bags of pecans or cashews, and recently 6oz cans of fried onions. She eats these in one sitting, usually if I am away for a weekend.
She is always very apologetic, embarrassed, and immediately runs out to replace what she has eaten. I feel bad, I definitely had some periods of binge eating in my 20s, but never to the point eating someone else’s food. One time I said I was going to an event but ended up cancelling. When I came out of my room and walked into the kitchen she looked like she had seen a ghost. There was my empty bag of 8 cheese slices and her hand was in my almost finished costco bad of nuts. It is very awkward!
I have never had this issue before. I think she has some other mental health struggles and I do not want to rock the boat. Plus she does replace everything, although a few times I have had to ask her to. I’m moving out in a week or so. Should I leave this in my review of the place?
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: I am glad she replaces your food but that would be so annoying to live with.

OOP: Yes sometimes I go to use things I use sparingly (butter, avocado oil) and they are gone.

Commenter: She a drank a bottle of avocado oil true or false

OOP: Ha!!! No it was a spray. She had already used a full bottle, replaced that, then used that one up entirely without replacing.

Commenter: That person is destroying their livekidneys, between the high fat/protein binge and the powdered supplements. They'll probably wind up admitted with AKI and get yelled at by their physician.

OOP: Oh absolutely. She asked me if she might have anemia because she’s so tired. I pointed out she doesn’t eat any carbohydrates and that is definitely effecting her energy levels. She said her supplements provide ‘all the nutrients that fruits and carbs have so it can’t be that’…
I’d also be concerned for lack of fiber. I recently have been seeing that colon cancer is on the rise because diets are more processed/lack fiber from fresh produce.

Commenter: Yeah, you should. I wouldn't want to live with someone like that who hasn't taken any steps to rectify it (it's good that she replaces the food right away, but still unacceptable that she's still eating all of it in the first place).

OOP: True, she has gone in my cabinets to take things out and tries to put them back exactly where they were, but I still notice. For example I always use a fork when prepping my overnight oats (feels a little easier than a spoon, maybe just a weird habit of mine), and use that fork to dig out my almond butter. A few times I’ve opened the jar and there are spoon marks, with quite a bit missing. This is also disgusting if she ate straight from the jar, which knowing her hygiene habits would not suprise me.

Commenter: This was me in my teens-20’s. I was “fit”, but my binge-restrict cycles were out of control. I was basically low grade starving myself all day and the urge to eat large quantities of high-fat, high-carb food at night was uncontrollable. Especially peanut butter. Sometimes I would do it while half-asleep. My binges would spill over into my roommates food sometimes and I would feel really bad and replace it. I’m so glad that’s all in the rear view mirror.

OOP: Sounds like you are in the same spot as my roommate. Do you have any ideas on how I can compassionately approach her and tell her I think she needs some help? What would have been helpful to you during that time?

(The above commenter's response) Honestly I was so consumed by guilt and shame and uncontrollable urges, I don’t know what I would’ve needed to hear at that time. I definitely knew I had a problem. Maybe gently start with the fact that you had an eating disorder too and you know how it feels, and that you knew someone (me!) who dealt with the same thing and treatment changed their life. Granted, I’m not as small as I used to be but neither am I out of control with my weight and food. If she’s ready to embrace sanity around food over thinness, then she’ll be receptive. But I was deathly afraid of weight gain at the time so any solution that would cause my artificially low weight to stabilize upwards would’ve been met with a panic attack and extreme rejection.
But just showing empathy is a big first step. When I lived at home for a year (for ED treatment) I asked my parents to put a lock on the pantry door so I wouldn’t night eat, and that also helped. It sounds like it’s too late for you to do that - also an unfair burden on you - but just a thought. I wish I had a better answer for you, but it sounds like she needs to hit rock bottom and have a come to Jesus moment where she realizes a normal life is more important than desperately trying to lose weight in an unhealthy way.

OOP: Well said, thank you for this incredibly thought out response. I think I will have a conversation with her and say I feel for her that she seems to lose control around food. I’ve had those feelings myself. But also make it clear that it bothers me. Maybe that soft boundary will be enough to push her in the right direction? I’m glad you got help!! Thank you again

To a deleted comment:

She replaces stuff but then helps herself to the replacement! Her hygiene habits are…. lax…. so it really grosses me out if she is eating my shredded cheese straight out of the bag or almond butter with a spoon straight from the jar.

Commenter: Instead of replacing your food why doesn’t she just go get her own?

OOP: I have no idea. Someone else commented it can be a psychological thing - if I don’t buy the ‘bad food’ myself then I won’t eat it - but then they feel out of control and see what’s sitting right there and go crazy.

Commenter: Your review of the place? Like you are going to proactively seek out a review site and post about this woman’s struggles like that, just cause? I dunno… Why?

OOP: I am renting the place through a website similar to airbnb. I have used it 5 other times and you are strongly encouraged to leave reviews.

Update Post: April 9, 2024 (Next Day)
The day after I originally posted I noticed my 16oz sour cream was mostly gone and had spoon marks. I had used a fork to drizzle a small amount over nachos last time I used it, so safe to assume my roommate had eaten it. Our schedules don't always line up so I decided it would be best if I talk to her via text when she is off work. Convo went as follows:
me: hey when I was home earlier I noticed a pretty significant portion of my sour cream was gone
rm: At the store now. Was doing some work until 3am and had a low moment. I’m really sorry. Replaced by 5:15pm.
me: It’s okay you don’t need to replace. I did want to talk about it though, it bothers me when my food is missing. can you please try to avoid touching my stuff in the fridge or my cabinet?
rm: Yes.
me: I understand what it’s like to be out of control sometimes when it comes to food 🫶🏻 let me know if you ever want to talk. is there anything I can do to help make it easier to avoid?
rm: Not a good housemate trait. It’s disrespectful of your stuff and I’m sorry. I’ve been struggling lately. Thanks for bringing it up. I know I need to change
me: it is not a character flaw! life is tough enough as it is. I’ve been there before. please do not beat yourself up about it ❤️
rm: Thanks. Well, do you need anything at the grocery store while I’m here?
me: nah i’m all set thank you!
When I got home she had bought an identical new sour cream and got me flowers, has been up in her room all evening though :( A very nice gesture, I really did not need any more sour cream and was not going to come close to finishing it in the next week before I move out.
While she often takes small portions of certain things I probably wouldn't have used/noticed anyway, I mentioned in a few comments on the original post - I have other concerns of her hygiene and food safety habits. She is frankly a pretty messy/disorganized/forgetful person and frequently leaves the kitchen and living room (common areas) a mess with used dishware, crumbs/pieces of food on the couch, remnants all over the stove, dirty dishes in the sink for days, etc. I have also witnessed her several times leave meat/dairy out unrefrigerated for hours and then eat it. I do not want ANY person to eat straight out of my jar almond buttesour cream with a spoon, or out of a bag of my shredded cheese with unwashed hands - even if it is a tiny bit. I have always been very aware and intentional of my food safety.
Thank you to everyone who shared their personal ED struggles. As mentioned I have definitely had my own journey toward a healthy relationship with food. After posting, I realized this situation may be particularly triggering to me as I believe my dad has a long history of what I think is binge-eating tendencies. As many suggested, I set a boundary with my roommate but also tried to be compassionate.
To those saying I should tear her down from being in an MLM - I don't think this would be productive in any way. Don't get me wrong I have consumed a lot of anti-MLM content and agree they are pretty universally bad. Yet I know those involved in these scammy companies sometimes view naysayers as fuel to strengthen their bond with their 'team'. I'm not touching on this with her.
Some recommended buying a mini fridge or a fridge lock box. I won't personally be doing this for my case but both good ideas. I didn't know they made fridge lockboxes, including this in the event it is helpful to anyone reading this in a similar scenario.
As far as leaving a review - I'm still torn on what to do. I rented this place through a service similar to Airbnb in which you are strongly encouraged to leave reviews. I've used it 5 times before and honestly have never had to give less than 5/5 stars. The food is a problem but also she is very messy and often dirty as well. As someone who is super neat/organized and cannot sleep if there are dishes in the sink and counters aren't wiped down - I would really struggle to give even 4/5 stars. I am not sure if I can in good faith give a highly positive review. I am considering leaving no review, but in the event I do u/fourpuns gave me a good idea. To include the line "occasionally ate food I had purchased but always replaced it." Short, sweet, truthful, not malicious. I would never ever go into detail or 'out her'.
To those saying I should poison her with hot sauce, laxatives, cayenne, etc.... BE F'IN FOR REAL. That is illegal and dangerous to both of us. This is a PERSON that is struggling. You don't kick someone while they are down. Despite us not being a great match roommate-wise, she is a warm and kind person that has tried her best to make me feel welcomed in many other ways. I truly wish her nothing but health and happiness going forward.
I am moving out in a week since my contract is ending, so I have a feeling there will not be any more food problems. This has been an eye-opening experience. I hope I handled as kindly as I possibly could have while respecting my own needs. If all else fails, I like to reframe uncomfortable/difficult scenarios as something one can use in job interviews to answer 'tell me about time you faced a problem and how you fixed it.' 🤷‍♀️
Would love to hear from survivors, dietitians, or counselors in the ED sphere for ideas on how to help an acquaintance who is struggling with their relationship with food. Open to constructive criticism for any tips on how I could have used better language in our convo. For myself and others as a reference.
Thank you all!!
Relevant Comments:
Has this happened before?
I’m not sure if she’s eaten anyone else’s food before. She didn’t eat anything of mine for the first month or 6 weeks I lived here. I needed to say something because it was bothering me.
Mini Update Next Day in Comments:
I just know she was so upset last night and hiding away I feel so bad about that! But thankfully she’s up and at it and more chipper today :)

Went there around 11:20am and there was already a line. We were the 5th in line. We waited for about 45 minutes. There were people behind us waiting much longer.
The inside fits exactly 4 parties of 2 (8 total people), so of you're not one of the first 4 parties, you won't get a seat. Even if you do get a seat, it's very crammed in there and one of the tables is right next to the line so people will bump into you when getting bread. Also very loud.
The tables outside on the hay have 0 shade. The better choice is to take it out to the park nearby.
Now, for the pasta. It's good, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't go out of my way for this again. The fact it is only open 3 days on weekdays, for exactly 2 hours, means people who don't live nearby would have to take a day off on Wednesday to go.
The food (we ordered 3 different dishes) is like a 7/10, but due to the tremendous inconvenience I'd rate the overall experience closer to a 5/10. Personal opinion.
If I lived nearby or happened to be in the neighborhood, I'd pick up their raw pasta to cook at home with my own sauces, because their sauces are deliberately basic (and I think this is a good idea for them to do), but personally I prefer a more elaborate dish, with seafood and whatnot. However, since I don't live nearby, I have other fresh pasta options and honestly theirs is not much better compared to other fresh pastas.
The tiramisu was kinda meh/acceptable. I'm a tiramisu fiend (I hunt down all the tiramisu I can find in the city, I also make it at home), however I think there was nothing outstanding about their tiramisu.
Fior di late was good but not worth $10 I'd rather buy burrata for $10 at Costco.
I would never go out of my way for this again. Only gonna eat Italian at our nonna's house from now on.
(HOWEVER, Gaucho Pie around the corner was very good! If you buy it to take home and air fry it, the traditional and chorizo. And no lines! Ever!)