So i’m an ICU nurse but wanted a side job to replace amazon flex. i have been a waitress for several years prior to nursing and was successful (at applebees, buffalo wild wings, and AMC theater) so i was honestly very excited to get back into it.
my training shifts that were from 11a-4p seemed promising. I had to give the tips to the server training me of course but tips ranged from $10-25 per table consistently for the morning shift. with that i was expecting to be making, at minmum, $100 per shift.
fast forward to now, i've been in the high top/bar section during the evening happy hour on week days and it really hasn’t been worth my time. for the past few nights i’ve been coming home with $50-70. i’m convinced it’s my personality… it has to be? i am on the spectrum so i know i can sound monotoned and flat at times. i try my best to laugh at dad jokes, i always smile, but i can feel that im awkward and normal people pick up on that, i suppose.
mother’s day was the worst. long wait times & a few kitchen errors, angry moms, came home with $65 after seven hours. cried.
so now i’m debating quitting because i’m not driving anywhere to make under $18 an hour. i have my first solo brunch shift scheduled for today & i’m excited to see how it goes but if im still making $50-70 then i’ll know it’s definitely something off putting about me.
i’ve noticed happy hour attracts people who are pressed for cash, i had a very nice mom and daughter yesterday who i had an amazing conversation with & she was honest with me and said she can’t afford to tip. yesterday i also had 3 tables of foreigners (i made the rookie mistake of accepting someone’s request to transfer the table to me) and got $0 each time. the server who transferred the table to me told me they had a caste system and it was on their culture to treat servers poorly and not tip. so idk.
overall so far CCF just doesn’t have the crowd that i expected i’m hoping my morning shift today will be better.
i’m yapping this much because i’m wondering does anyone have a similar experience to mine? is anyone here on the spectrum? and most importantly, should i hang in there or just quit?

Today we talk about one of the most famous Sim in the Sims Series! I will give you all the facts while I tell all the story about Don and then I will collect the most interesting one and tell them again in the end as a small collection for the people who are already know the basic things of Don.
The Bio of the Household says:
"Who is Don Lothario? Is his engagement to Cassandra Goth genuine? And what about the rumor that her mother, Bella, was last seen scaling the deck of his condo?"
Don seems to be on first glance a mysterious Sim. He is engaged to Cassandra and it's already questioning the stability of this Relationship. Also the mother of Cassandra Bella is dissapeared on his condo. This brings up questions!
The Household only contains Don and his Bio says:
"So many ladies, so little time. When Don isn't thinking about dating, he's sleeping."
That shows that he is only interested into dating and women. He seems to be an attractive guy and do not have much other plans in his life.
If you load in the household for the first time, you'll be greated with a MESSY home, dirty appliances and trash on the floor. Don will roll Wants to Woo-Hoo with Dina Caliente and her Sister Nina Caliente, inviting Dina over and Woo-Hoo with 3 Different Sims. You'll get a pop-up message sayins: "Don's romantic life is really humming along! Maybe now's the time to put the moves on Nina Caliente. Pick up the phone to invite her over." If you follow that, you'll satisfy his first want to invite her over. If you done it, you'll get a new pop-up message saying: "Don wants to win Nina over, and it looks like she's slowly succumbing to his wily charms. Maybe now's the time to suggest a romantic soak in the hot tub!". If you send Don in the hot tub, Nina will automatically follow Don and both of them can Woo-Hoo. Don's Aspiration Bar will be filled and will be really satisfied for the day. After waiting for a while after the Woo-Hoo another Pop-Up appears saying: "This place is a mess! Use the phone to hire a maid." Kaylynn will be hired and work for Don. This is quite dangerous considering that he is in Love with Kaylynn. In Vanilla Sims 2, Sims will get jealous on you if you romance with someone else. So Kaylynn could get her heart broken.
Fun Fact: If you use the telescope on the roof of his condo at day to spy on his neighbors. Dina will always be the Sim that he spys on and she will come over to slap you. This is might be interesting for story because you could lit the flame before it even starts to ignite.
Don is in Love with Nina Caliente and Kaylynn Langerak at the beginning of the game. He is also engaged to Cassandra and got a Crush on Dina. He is Aquintence with Darren Dreamer. Interestingly, he seems to be more interested into Kaylynn, Nina and Dina then into Cassandra.
Don got 1 Point in Sloppy, 7 in Outgoing and 8 in Active. He is also fit. He seems to be an athletic guy but is also pretty messy with his sloppiness. Interestingly he works in the Medicine Career as an Intern (LvL4) and got 3 Points in Mechanic, 2 Points in Logic and 4 Points in Cleaning. It's weird he knows a bit about cleaning but do not clean. Maybe the devs wants to give us the hint to hire Kaylynn the Maid?
Don got high interests in Sports, Fashion, Animals and Weather. He dislikes Culture, School, Paranormal and Sci-Fi. His interests seem to be normal and hinting that he might be more the outdoor guy and less a couch potato.
His Family Tree is pretty simple and nothing special. His Grandparents from the father side (Carmelo and Mama Lothario) are both Romance Sims like him. Otherwise everything seems to be normal.
His memories shows his first Kiss was the Nina Caliente in his Teen age. After he aged up his parents died quiet immadietly. Then he had his first kiss with Dina and fell in love with Nina. Now it gets interesting. Bella rejected him for a make out and this was the same night where she disappeared! Now it gets more interesting. Afterwards he kissed Bella's Daughter Cassandra and the Maid Kaylynn Langerak. He fell quickly in Love with Kaylynn and had a Woo-Hoo with her that is marked as Woo-Hoo with Service Sim. Time past and he tried to do a public woo-hoo but Kaylynn rejected him and a few days later she accepted. After the public Woo-Hoo he fell in love with Cassandra and got engaged. But quickly cheated on Cassandra with Kaylynn and Nina. Something that is weird is the fact that he doesn't have a maid. He got a pretty dirty house, so the game gives ya the hint to hire a maid because he is a Slob. Maybe he used to hire her but in his memory were never Money problems or Repoman.
Now let's get some juicy facts! Shall we?

1. In the beta version of The Sims 2, Don had an unused hairstyle. It was a wavy, medium-length pompadour with an unusual texture. This hairstyle was removed from the game and cannot be accessed without the use of custom content. In one screenshot, Don was also seen wearing a blue sweater and tan pants, none of which can be found in his closet.
2. In "The Sims 2 Bon Voyage", there's an object called: ""Big Ol Glory" Tree Ring". Everytime you interact with it, you'll get a pop-up Message that says: "DL+CG", "DL+DC", "DL+NC" or "DL+KL" that are all shortcuts for Don Lothario and one of his Four Woman he dates.
3. If you use the telescope on the roof of his condo at day to spy on his neighbors. Dina will always be the Sim that he spys on and she will come over to slap you

PART ONE THOUSAND AND THIRTEEN
[Previous Chapter] [The Beginning] [Patreon+2]
Sunday
Lucas tapped the flat of his finger twice on the partially open door, more to let Boyd know he was coming than actually requesting permission to enter. He pushed it open and strode through as the somewhat welcoming grunt came from within.
“Hey, sexy,” he said, crossing the two rooms to zoom in on Boyd sitting at his bench. On the spinner before Boyd was a larger figure than he had ever done before: an eighteen-inch figure of a woman with an hourglass figure wearing a form-fitting formal gown that flowed to the floor, swaying as if she’d just stepped to her right. Her hands were curled as if she were holding something or someone, but that part was missing.
“Ooooh,” Lucas said, resting his head on Boyd’s shoulder to examine the piece closer. “She’s pretty.”
“She’s also the viscount’s granddaughter, who I think is married to a prince somewhere in Eastern Europe. I’d have to pull out her details again, but she’s already got two kids, and she still looks this good.”
“She doesn’t look old enough to have two kids.”
“That’s what happens when you marry when you’re still a teenager.”
“Please tell me it wasn’t an arranged marriage.”
Boyd did a slow pan to level an annoyed look at him.
“What? They used to.”
“Slavery was a thing in America back in the day, too.”
Lucas made a deflating raspberry. “If you want to get technical,” he grumbled.
Boyd twisted his seat to face him, loosely curling his arms around Lucas’ waist. “Where are you off to, Mister Soon-To-Be-Masters?”
Oh-ho. Someone’s feeling playful. “I thought you were going to become a Dobson,” Lucas countered, leaning in to give him a quick morning kiss.
“Yeah, but then I was reminded I do have family that I care about.”
“None of which are Masters. Your mom and Aunt Judy are sisters who changed their names when they married. If you were going to take any of their names, we’d both be changing to Davenport.”
Boyd looked down at where their abdomens rested against each other.
“Hey,” Lucas said, sliding his hand under Boyd’s chin and lifting it so he could see those beautiful baby blues focusing on him. “What’s going on, love?”
Boyd opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He tried twice more. “Ten years,” he finally croaked. “They took me in and gave me a home within the family for nearly two years, and I repaid them by cutting them out of my life the second I could. Who does that to their own?”
“Somebody with a lot of fear,” Lucas answered honestly. "And that somebody isn’t you anymore. You’ve invited Emily to be our accountant, and personally, I hope you know what you’re doing there…”
“Emily has always been good with money. The only time she’s ever been off is when she borrows money from you, and you go to get it back. By the time she’s finished explaining all the financial movement around the transaction, you end up owing her twice as much, and she’s really convincing. Computerised flow charts and everything.”
Lucas hoped he was exaggerating. If Emily had been that quick and deceptive to separate Boyd from his money when she was a teenager, she might have been even more cunning now. Lucas would remain attentive until she proved herself because the love of his life had earned this break. “Okay,” was all he said since he didn’t want to argue.
Boyd nipped the tip of his nose. “Don’t you ‘okay’ me in that tone of voice.”
Lucas pulled back and rubbed the back of his hand against his nose. It hadn’t hurt, but it was weird. No one had ever done that before. “I’m a cop, love. In my world, it’s guilty until proven innocent.”
“Getting back to my original question. Where are you going?”
“I’m going to go and get some supplies for Levi and Maddy. The dumbass has been worrying himself sick over where he can leave Maddy on short notice if he and Austin get called out to a fire together. They can’t waste up to an hour each way getting over to Queens and Brooklyn.”
“Tell him she can stay with us,” Boyd said without hesitation. I’ll be here all the time, and if I’m out and it’s an emergency dump-and-run, I can drop whatever I’m doing and call someone to teleport me back.”
Lucas leaned in and kissed him again. “And that’s just one of the many reasons I love you,” he said once they parted. “Charlie will be here too, which means Robbie won’t be far away either. Levi still wants to run it past Llyr since it’s his place, but so long as we keep her on our side and away from Miss W, it won’t be a problem.”
“You’ll need to remember to lock up your guns when she’s here.”
Lucas nodded thoughtfully in agreement without speaking. It would devastate everyone if Maddy somehow managed to get her hands on one of his work firearms and fire it. He’d need to get a thumbprint safe – something that he could get at very quickly in a crisis.
“How is she with beds?”
“What?”
“Don’t little kids have those hospital guardrail things, so they don’t roll out of bed and hurt themselves? I mean, your bed isn’t that far from the floor, but if you’re getting supplies, you might want to think about some of those things to keep her in.”
Lucas hadn’t thought about that. “Okay, then it’s going to be a bigger shopping trip than I thought, but that’s alright. Levi and Maddy are going to chill in the apartment until I get back.”
“Do you want me to check in on them?”
“Nah, it should be fine. Levi knows where Charlie’s office is, and if he’s going to annoy anyone while they’re at work, it should be our sister.” Lucas turned Boyd back to his carving and leaned his head on Boyd’s shoulder. “You keep outdoing yourself, you know that, right?”
“These tools are magic. I can’t do a thing wrong with them.” With a slight grimace, he added, “Hey, have you ever heard the story about the kid who gets the magic piano?”
Lucas squinted warily. “Am I going to like this story?”
“It’s a cautionary tale. This kid finds a magic piano, and all he has to do is work the pedals, and the piano plays itself. No one notices it’s not the kid, and the kid’s ego grows with each performance until he’s an international sensation. Then, he has a fight with the piano over who the star really is. The following night, the piano refuses to play, and the kid is booed off the stage. His family is left financially ruined.”
“I will beat you within an inch of your life if you equate that to you.”
Boyd looked at him. “How can I not? I mean, when I relax and just let the tools do what they’re made to do, the pieces come out flawlessly—every time. But the second I worry, minor defects creep in. Nothing I can’t counter and fix, but still…”
“If it concerns you that much, why not do a piece every now and then without the divine tools to prove to yourself that the skill is yours and the tools are just tools?”
Boyd looked over the divine toolset, then back up at the shelf where his older tools were. “That’s a good idea,” he admitted.
Lucas lightly kissed him on the lips and stepped out of his grasp. “I’ve been known to have them now and again. Oh, and don’t forget we’re going to Angus’ this afternoon. Just the six of us.”
Boyd raised his left hand in acknowledgment, but his focus was back on the carving even as his right hand picked up a scalpel of some kind and drove it across the carving’s middle. The blade was then smoothly passed to his left hand to make an incision from that side while his right reached for a new tool.
As he’d said, his motions were flawless, with chips and shavings flying at the speed of a professional wood chopper. Lucas could watch him work all day, but if he was going to make it to Angus’, he needed to leave now.
He let himself out and headed for the main front door to the level.
A little over an hour later, after grabbing several sets of clothes in his brother’s size, Lucas was standing in the middle of the children’s clothing section, blinking in confusion at all the options. He would go to touch one, then back away, unsure.
He must have looked pitiful because a staff member in her mid-thirties took pity on him and approached with a warm smile. “Can I help you?”
“Yeah, this is crazy,” he answered, gesturing to the millions of clothes options before them. “My brother asked me to look after my niece in an emergency, and I want her to have whatever she’ll need at my place in case he doesn’t have time to take her home.” He looked at all the clothes. “Whatever that entails.”
“That’s really sweet. Is your brother a doctor?”
“Fireman.”
The woman gave Lucas the once over. “I can see that.”
Lucas chuckled. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before. Between him, Levi and Mav all sharing their dad’s muscle, they’d always caught people’s eye. “Anyway,” he said, wanting to move this along. “My niece is three going on four, and she’s about this high,” he said, showing her height as an inch or two under his hip.
“Does she have any favourite TV shows?”
“Spongebob,” Lucas said, incredibly grateful for his conversation with Levi over breakfast. He’d have never had that answer otherwise. “And if you’re not doing anything after we get her clothes sorted, my fiancé mentioned something about bed rails since she’ll be sleeping in my old queen-sized bed. This is an all-in shopping trip for her, and I have no idea what to get.”
“Do you have any toys for her? And no, I’m not pushing for a commission here. Little minds need to be kept stimulated, or little hands will end up in places they have no business being. If this is your first time looking after her, you’re going to want a few toys, books, and things to keep her busy.”
“My brother is already nagging me about buying her the basics. What would you recommend that won’t make it seem like I’m trying to buy her affection?”
“Are you okay with electronics, or are you trying to steer her away from that?”
“It doesn’t faze me. It’s more the cost. I don’t want to buy her what my brother hasn’t or can’t afford. I’ve been into too many households where kids have every version of PlayStation, Xbox and Nintendo and every known game that goes with them. Those kids appreciate nothing, and that’s not something I’m okay with.”
“You see a lot of people’s houses?”
“I was a beat cop for over eight years before my promotion.”
“A policeman and a fireman? I’m sure there's a joke involving a bar in there somewhere.”
“If there were, the third person would be an ice hockey player,” Lucas chuckled again, already liking this woman. As they wandered through the aisles, she added things to his cart. Clothes were first, but they quickly moved on to toys. A couple of generic soft toys. and the board game “Candyland”. Lucas grabbed ‘Hungry, Hungry Hippos’, as that was one he and his brothers had played when he’d been Maddy’s age. Then came two large boxes of Duplo.
Not once did it feel like the sales assistant was pushing an agenda. She even paused to consider the options as if she were buying them for her own kids. Lucas really appreciated that.
As they were walking the isles, Lucas came to a screeching halt and stared at a range of doctor, nurse and vet play sets. Two jumped out at him. One had a plastic pet carrier with a handful of bulky instruments, and the other came in a bright blue bag with red handles and a white pawprint on the side. It had a comprehensive range, including toy bandages, pill bottles, cream jars, syringes, a stethoscope and even a cone of shame. Both went into the cart after he checked to make sure the two soft animals would fit in the carrier.
Mason’ll have a field day showing her exactly how to simulate using all this stuff, he thought to himself with a grin.
“You’re really very thoughtful,” the woman said after he explained why they both had to be purchased.
Lucas specifically asked for books after that. Real books with paper pages. He was sure his mother (as a high school English teacher) would murder him in his sleep if he didn’t buy Maddy at least ten books ranging from ones she could memorise and pretend to read (which, in her grandmother’s eyes, taught her word structure and was the first step in learning to read), with ones he could read to her. And that, of course, required Spongebob bookends to hold them together.
“Your fiancé is a lucky woman if you’re willing to do all of this for your niece,” she said once the cart was full and they were heading back to the checkouts.
“Yes, he is,” Lucas agreed, deliberately sliding in Boyd’s gender without making a huge issue of it.
Her eyes widened in horror. “Oh, I’m so sorry. Wow, I really shouldn’t make that assumption anymore, and I apologise.”
Because this was New York. “Apology accepted,” Lucas said, waving it aside. Boyd might have been embarrassed, but thankfully, he wasn’t here. “Thanks again for all your help.”
* * *
((Author's extra-long note:
Heya guys! Just letting you know I need to take a week off. [It’s nothing to do with the community here, I promise! I love writing this, and I’ll be back as soon as I can.]
In fact it's … you know what? Stuff it. You guys might as well know. Remember how I mentioned earlier this year we were fighting for more care for my special needs daughter?
That’s the issue.
Our support coordinator has our written authority to act on our behalf. Yet we’ve been told in writing from the government department that if she doesn’t back off, the whole request, including thousands of dollars of specialists interviewing our daughter and reporting their findings, will be deleted, and our request, including all-new interviews and reports, will have to start all over again.
I’m almost at the point where I’m not sleeping, but our support coordinator has promised us to fight because, in her words, “This is getting ridiculous.”
I’ve been really struggling to write this week with everything going on in the background. I’ve finally admitted I need to pull back (just for one week—I mean it when I say how much I love this writing and the little community we’ve formed) to focus on sorting out the mess, so that my writing isn’t tarnished by the battlelines that are being drawn up in the background.
(I already scrapped a page and a half because my anger at things [I bounce between anger and depression] had people who were usually very chill (Robbie) acting in a very aggressive manner that simply wasn’t them. Because of this, I’ve already used up several of my backlog this week and I loathe to lose any more, given how hard they were to build up. (The thought of using them up without others to take their place was also adding to my stress.)
And I was told by my beta reader, ‘Given you’ve been doing this for over three years, and you’ve only had the occasional day off due to sickness, take the week and regroup, stronger than ever.
I agreed. This means my next post will be on Monday, the 27th, Australian Time.
This means my next post will be on Monday, the 27th, Australian Time.
I hope with all my heart that you’ll all still be with me when I return next week.
Karen. ))
((All comments welcome. Good or bad, I’d love to hear your thoughts 🥰🤗))
I made a family tree/diagram of the Mystallian family that can be found here
For more of my work, including WPs: Angel466 or an index of previous WPS here.
FULL INDEX OF BOB THE HOBO TO DATE CAN BE FOUND HERE!!

Hey Yall.
I’m going to see Megan thee stallion tonight in Chicago and want some recs for bars and clubs that don’t have a cover. Also any breakfast places that are must tried! Tyyyy

I am the one in charge, baby; I can do whatever I want, he said softly to Xianna, lightly biting her ears. She closed her eyes and remembered that the sexy male dancer she bought a year ago from that exclusive gay bar was the same guy who bought her from the Mafia, where her mother sold her. The man resembles her deceased boyfriend. Read more

Hi there
I’m not sure how to start explaining but I’ve had these feelings for a long while and as I got older the feelings just got more intense and harder to deal with.
A little bit of background about myself. My family moved to a different country when I was a baby and I grew up there and had a good childhood from what I remember but my parents moved back when I was about 11/12.
I sat down the other day got really sad about my childhood I found old photos of memories that are hazy to me, my most vivid and memorable moments are how much my parents used to argue. A very vivid memory I have is of my mum and dad arguing and me hiding in my room on the phone to my grandma about how they are arguing again. Another memory is of my dad punching a hole in my bedroom door.
My dad never hurt me or my mum he just had anger issues he has learnt to deal with it a bit better now but still gets ridiculously angry at a slight inconvenience. I never really understood why they argued as much as they did , as I got older my Nan said my mother used just to go out a lot of the time and get blackout drunk. My dad used to work all the time and we barely spent time with him, my mum worked in a bar during the day so I would be at my grandparents all the time during the day.
Fast forward to when we moved back to the UK my parents got a divorce in the first a year of being back. My mum had met someone online and ended things with my dad I’m still not 100% sure if my mum was cheating but within a few months of them being split up my mum found out she was pregnant. After they split I ended up living with my mum and we clashed heads a lot the final straw was when I was getting some money out of the money jar and she flipped her lid and ended up grabbing me by the throat to move me away from it. I ran away from her and went to live with my dad.
I’ve never had a real relationship with either of my parents. I’ve never really cared because as I kid saw it as they have taken me away from all my friends my school and my grandparents brought me back to the UK only for them to split up. At secondary school I used to get into trouble all the time had a lot behaviour issues which my dad couldn’t handle and as for my mum she was like non existent at this point in my life
Growing up I was in and out of silly relationships and at a young age was taken advantage of by a much older boy he brought me and a so called friend alcohol and I’ve never really said this before or even typed these words but I was raped. For a long time after that I blamed myself and I didn’t really understand what had just happened to me until I was much older and then certain things would affect me . For example certain smells or songs would make me feel numb and there was this horrible feeling in the bottom of my stomach and I’d just burst out in tears if I was alone. Only a few people knew about this and I never really talked to anybody about it.
Skipping to now i have been with my husband for the last 3.5 years things have been great from the start we used to have very deep talks about each others life’s and how we grew up etc we really connected on a deeper level and I feel as if he really understands me and I can be completely myself I’ve never felt like that with anybody else that be friends/family or ex partners. We had a beautiful baby together she was born a year ago we started having some issues a few months after she was born. I was struggling with ppd he couldn’t cope so he moved out for 5 or so months and moved back in a couple of months ago. Everything’s been great apart from last few days. I have felt distant I have felt like he doesn’t love me as much as he used to.
Ive spoken to him and he has reassured me but I still feel super anxious about him leaving again. I started googling stuff ( I know) like why does my husband hate me and why do I feel like my husband doesn’t love me. A lot of stuff came up about childhood trauma and even bpd.
My question is who can I speak with to help me understand myself?
I’ve gone to GP multiple times in my life to say I’m struggling the only time really I got the help was after I had my baby but they just chucked tablets my way and that was that then I had to wait for a mental health nurse to contact me.
I never really thought about my childhood and just my life in general growing up until I met my husband and started my own family and begun to worry about bringing my daughter in a better environment.
A lot of time I find myself questioning my thoughts. It’s like a little voice in my head telling me I feel a certain way but nothing has been said or done to make me feel like this. I wondered if anybody else felt like this? I was also wondering if there was a way to be tested for mental health conditions if that makes any sense. Example I’ve looked up ADHD I feel as if I match a lot of the symptoms.
By any means I don’t want to self diagnose myself I just want some help understanding why I have all these feelings and is it linked to anything but also how do I learn to take control of the feelings and get myself out of panic and anxiety.

I will receive a maintenance loan of around £6000 this academic year whilst my rent will be almost £8000. My father works as a labourer at a factory and my mother works as a barista at a coffee shop, so there is no way they can support me in anything financially.
My plan was to return home during term holidays and earn money by working at my current job (a fast food restaurant). Would this be enough? Or would I need to find another job during term time as well to support myself?
Furthermore, how does anyone have the money for any other leisure activities at all e.g. going to a bar or restaurant?

My Girlfriend (19F) and me (19M) were hanging out on Monday 13th May and we were in the sun just minding our business. When i take out my phone to take a picture of us, she says to me “Can you delete it?) and i ask no questions about it, went on to my camera roll to delete the picture whereas she grabs my phone and deletes it herself and then proceeds to head over to recently deleted. She finds three photos of girls (one of the photos was two girls taking selfies with clothes on) the other two photos was just the same with mirrorpics and she was also fully clothed. My girlfriend asks “what are these photos?” At first I didn’t know what to answer but i went ahead and said well these photos turn me on and i didn’t really think through when i screenshotted must of forgotten them in the recently deleted folder. Well she then proceeds to walk away from me and i try to pack our things as fast as possible and when i catch up to her, she starts to be very violent and threatens to call the police on me for whatever reason? And thats when i drew the line and started to walk away and when i turn my back she says “go fuck your mother” and come to think of it, i should’ve punched her throat out but its only words from a crazy woman so no harm done really. The second all of this drama happened she blocked me literally everywhere. I usually call her from an private number in that way i can reach her but that day no call no nothing because i felt very ashamed for my actions and why i did that. I’ve never in my life felt so ashamed, anyways i call her the next day and she answers me and i tell her that i’ve missed her and i really wanna talk to her and she doesn’t reakky reapond with anything except for “mhm” or “yea” which I felt in that moment very awkward. But anyways didn’t think much of it.
The next day i call which is Wednesday 15 May and i tell her that i was outside her school and waiting for her to go and grab lunch, i go to grab lunch with her because she eats alone and doesn’t really have that many options of friends, so i try to make it easier for her and show up every lunch break she gets why i succeed to do literally the whole semester. Anyways i tell her over the phone that i was waiting for her but must of missed her and i did wait probably like 20-25 minutes because I was very eager to solve our little situation. (Btw the reason why i left was because i had already tried to call her and i was supposed to go pick up my mom from home to drop her off at work, otherwise would’ve waited longer) anyways i call her later on that day and tell her about and she said to me that her lunch break started earlier which is the reason why I must of missed her, she tells me that I should’ve came earlier to meet her in the library and yesterday.
(Btw we talked for an hour asked eachother how we are doing and try to connect a little which seemed like it worked, but i tried to make it clear that i still want to talk about our little incident)
Anyways yesterday I go out to meet her and I finally catch her and follow her to go eat, we both ordered food by this time we still haven’t greeted eachother only I was trying to get closer to her without trying to make her uncomfortable. I even ordered her favorite dip sauce for her french fries because she doesn’t usually order her itself because she gets limited money on a card from her school which means she can only buy some certain meals on the menu. When we get our food i go to her table to ask if i can sit her which she answers with no. And right there and then my appetite went away like crazy didn’t even touch the food.
When we were done I went outside to wait for her and there again I went after her to show her that I actually care for her and that I don’t wanna give up and leave her alone. We get to a bench and im trying to sit there and talk with her but she’s all silent and doesn’t speak I also brought to her that my therapist recommends that we go to her where we can sit and talk about our problems. She doesn’t respond to that. I then instead tried to tell her about how I actually feel about her and that she’s the most important person to me and that i love her etc.
When she goes back to school, her friend requests a follow on my instagram and I realized that my girlfriend which is my ex now had told her friend about what had happened and i was shocked because we never tell anyone about out problems and try to solve them ourselves.
So my stupid goes outta my way to buy her a bouquet of flowers and a little note with cute words. And again i tried to catch her after school which i did and she went to a place where she could talk to me at least what i thought but when i sat down she basically said that im a cheater and disrespectful and that she wants nothing to do with me and she’s moving on. I even tell her about her friend that is trying to follow me just because im used to telling her everything. And she responded with “yea she wants you to leave me alone” then i stood up and walked away.
Now I don’t know how many of you will agree with me but those guys who has actually given everything to their girlfriend and in return from her u basically get nothing which is my case, we all know how that feels and it’s literally the worst feeling ever because the relationship is only holding because of you which is me. The relationship was only one sided and my stupid ass was too blind to see it. I don’t think i was right for my actions but to call me cheater over that is really raising the bar. I can take and accept that it was disrespectful but yea it is what it is. I have witnessed this chick look at another man without a shirt while we were at the beach (me n her) for literally an hour if not longer. I told her “wtf is your problem? Why are you looking at him?” She actually has the guts to say “it was to get your attention” bruh what I even left her with him to show her im fucking pissed and my stupid feels sorry for her so i return and that son of a bitch who’s she’s looking at was smiling at me. That little piece of shit humilated me and i still took her home like the little birch i am. And there has been multiple times where she has done things shady but she doesn’t speak about them. I can might aswell call her the cheater for looking at him and humiliating me.
I don’t really know what to think of the situation but me n her aren’t speaking and I think it’s for the best but I still think we should’ve worked it somehow but what can you do. She can actually tell her friend to kiss my ass because ik this girl better than anyone.

• Rob Weiss is her favorite ex-boyfriend.
• He’s the one person that was a good guy, talented, creative, and inspired her a lot. They were together for 7.5 years.
• He feels the same way about her.
• He liked her dad.
• Her mom and Weiss got along well. Her mom painted a house (her own? Weiss’?) and wanted to see Weiss’ reaction.
• Doherty avoids obstacles now, instead of trying to plow through them.
• He was on vacation in 1991, and met her at Bar One. He knew who she was. He had wanted to go into the film business.
• He made a movie, went to the Sundance Film Festival, moved to L.A.
• 2 years later, Doherty was married. Doherty started dating him around 1994.
• They moved in together quickly after Doherty left her first husband.
• They got together right before her 23rd birthday.
• He was not successful, but not a failure. He wrote “Milk Bar”. He did “American Psycho”.
• They watched Clerks together.
• Doherty says he introduced her to the indie film world.
• They were engaged. But after her first marriage, she believed a piece of paper doesn’t mean anything.
• Doherty’s mom still wears her wedding band, even though Doherty’s father died.
• They connect with each other on a soul level.
• He has a child with another woman.
• Doherty learned she needs to listen to her gut.
• They broke off the engagement a week before the wedding.
• Doherty was still following what was happening with her first husband.
• Marriage is an antiquated notion to Weiss.
• There’s no woman that’s more important to him than the mother of his child. They had dated for 3 years. But he doesn’t need to marry her.
• Doherty says Weiss is a Math Changer. (See the podcast with Doherty and Les Snead).
• Rick (another ex) was a Buyer Beware.
• Weiss says Rick has different demons. But he’s a cool cat.
• Weiss loves his dad, but he would categorize him as a toxic male. He smoked until he had lung cancer. He served in the military.
• Doherty loves Weiss’ dad.
• Doherty still adores both Rob and Rick.
• Doherty’s soul connection with Weiss will always be there.
• Rob gave Doherty the diamond heart necklace that Prue wore on Charmed.
• Weiss still has some necklaces and rings that Doherty gave him.
• Doherty had a tattoo with Weiss’ name on it. She eventually covered it up with flowers. Weiss did not want to get a tattoo with her name on it.
• He now has tattoos. Such as his son’s name. Since he likes tattoos now, he thinks maybe he would have gotten Doherty’s name on his neck, if he had to make the decision again.
• The best moment they had was in Venice, Italy. They went to get something to eat late at night. The streets were dead. Some guy started to talk to them. They told him they wanted food. They followed him. He directed them to two other people. Doherty thought they were going to get robbed. Eventually they were lead to a restaurant. It was a 24 hour restaurant. And the food was delicious.
• They went to Amsterdam. They ended up at a hostel with 5 beds in a room. She didn’t want to do that.

​

• Doherty thinks it’s hard for Weiss, because he can spend 2 years writing a show. Then he pitches it, and the people he pitches it to don’t like it.
• Weiss tries to work on 10 things at the same time.
• If he had spent 2 straight years working on only one thing, it would hurt him more.
• Doherty had a birthday party at a bar, where there was a fight.
• They had only been dating for 10 days. They started on April Fools Day.
• Greg Vance gave Weiss a weird look. Weiss went up to him and his people and asked if there was a problem. He turned around to his right, and got headbutted on his nose.
• The fight spilled out onto the street.
• He doesn’t roll with a large posse anymore.
• He stopped drinking 5 years ago.
• He loved red wine.
• He can’t be hungover at 7am, with his kid, anymore. He had to set a better example.
• His son is his dad reincarnated.
• He’s been nominated 3x for Entourage.
• Doherty just found out Weiss was nominated at the Sundance Film Festival for Grand Jury Prize.
• Doherty was so excited when she, Jason Priestley, and Luke Perry presented an award at the Emmys.
• Weiss thought Entourage was going to be horrible. He didn’t think the audience would connect with the show.
• Doug Elin had wanted Weiss to play Billy Walsh.
• Weiss’ first impression of Doherty was that she was his dream girl. She was fun. She was spicy. She smoked cigarettes like a fighter pilot. Sexy, great style. Amazing cook.
• Doherty wants another relationship. She just doesn’t want to get married again.
• Weiss does better in life on some nights when he can take a bubble bath, get up at 5:30am, and does what he needs to do, without having a conversation.
• Doherty agrees, so why can’t there be a relationship where Weiss doesn’t move in with someone, and they keep their separate places? So they can have off nights as needed.
• He thinks the guy should be older, but has nothing against men who are with women 20 years older. Whatever fits one’s preference.
• He just wants a positive energy with someone.
• He’s not looking for someone to go on a cruise together with.
• Weiss and Doherty dated for 2 - 3 years before they got engaged.
• The proposal was basically Doherty going “give me the fucking ring”.
• When they were in Italy and France together, Weiss ran into an old friend. That friend was with his girlfriend, who had a 5 carat ring. Doherty then wanted a ring. So they got that friend to make a ring.
• Weiss asked for her parents’ blessing.
• Her parents heaped concerns on him.
• Weiss was surprised, because they had been dating for 3 years.
• Their relationship was from right after she left Beverly Hills 90210, to right after she left Charmed.
• She stopped living with him at some point, and got her own place.
• Dick Wolf offered Doherty a show after Charmed. But she had to move to New York. She didn’t want to do that. She was in love. Her parents were in LA. She says she was an idiot for turning it down.
• They were on again, off again a few times during those 7 years.
• Dating was more pure back then, compared to now. Now it’s transactional. Dating is now only with people that can help someone.
• Weiss calls it opportunistic. And leveraging.
• Now, people develop a fantasy relationship with someone. Then they meet them, and it’s different.
• It was easier back then, because you dated people you knew, from within Hollywood.
• Weiss has supported Doherty during her cancer.
• Weiss was devastated when Doherty’s cancer came back.

26 y/o male here (out of two younger sisters) - for a lack of immediate depth and clarity, I sometimes feel as if my brain is, quite frankly, a Lvl. 45 Pokémon in my otherwise full party of normally leveled mons (in this case, other organs? IDK, my poetically 'PogChamp' metaphor kinda fell off after a certain point, admittedly enough, lol...) and because I don't have any 'gym badges', or rather, notable enough ones on 'this' profile to attain the respect of said OP 🧠 (dry reincarnation joke for ya) like anything above an associate's college degree, to where in which I've been shamelessly punishing myself for ever since. All in a familial structure founded off my Father immigrating here from Iran at 17 due to an ongoing war at the time, proceeding to speed run his ability to speak and understand English, and ultimately earn his Doctorate degree at UT Austin in Mathematics by age 24/25 y/o. My Mother, also having immigrated to TX from around the same area/time period to that of my father, learned most if not all of her English and Math by dad, eventually earning her own highly marketable and prestigious degree, allowing her to work as a laboratory scientist within an established Hospital ever since) I wake up each day with ~75-80% chance of my emotions/seemingly invisible yet unapologetically frictious (made up word of the day) force of my own nature steering me not just off course with regards to tangible progress in most faltering facets of my life, but 180 degrees, straight-up in the opposite direction entirely; no matter how hard I may try and/or far I may get, there just always happens to be this same (assumedly) suspect layer of my consciousness to whom in which takes it upon 'itself' to fully assess and ultimately execute some seemingly crucial decision/deduction 'for me', frequently working so far ahead into the future that I lose damn near any/all opportunities to act authentically, evenif said authentic action(s) is/are the more difficult/tedial (made up word of the day, and an unnecessary one at that yet way more satisfyingly sounding than 'tedious' imo xp) decisions out of all answer choices, almost never allowing me a proper build up of 'dharmic momentum', if you will, when that in of itself would likely prove valuable. I believe this behavioral pattern in particular has made it exponentially more difficult to break my current bad habits in insomnia(-l?), burn out, depression, and consequently to these aforementioned, my biggest demon of them all ATM: productivity paralysis - all in which I've been experiencing this past year. For example: my mom telling me we have to go somewhere I don't want to in the morning, my replying 'consciously', usually in agreement in an attempt to avoid further arguments/conflicts, trading authenticity for emotional convenience, be it for better or for worse, only then for my 5Head brain to do what it likely does best (at least with regards to consistency) ala subconsciously 5Head'ing the situation in the background like an antivirus program would after downloading a sketchy Switch emulator onto one's hard drive, it's way of 'resolving' it's self proclaimed virus by having me stay up all night to where there's no way I can go after all, trading my misery for a more preferable, oftentimes comfortable solution as well as rebellion, especially towards those whom I feel can't look past their own selves when offering advice/ideas, which is one thing, but also forcing said solutions onto those concerned, be it due to frustration, which I can't blame them for given my like-mindedness towards my own self and scenario. Slightly more context in that I've always been told I'm super smart, 'could' be one of my best students if... (you know the rest ✌️🙂‍↕️), blah blah blah, but have genuinely been able to achieve things I seriously haven't heard of a single other person accomplishing especially with regards to my passions and career choices, tend to for whatever peculiar reason attract highly successful and oftentimes famous individuals i.e. content creators, musicians, general artists - weirdly/oftentimes VERY well known ones - into my life on both friendly and romantic levels (ironically, seeming to have had a strange ability to attract the upper eschalon of high functioning individuals from not much interesting initial interaction(s) from my perspective, in OR out of schooling, admittedly enough, always hoping I would become one myself, likely as a coping strategy/defense mechanism/compensatory coalition with respect to my lackluster grades/overall effort in highschool despite taking and consequently passing every advanced course possible in relation to my corresponding grade level i.e. AP Calculus in Senior yeaAP English/Government/History, you get the idea, and which was the case from 6th grade onwards, even getting into Health Careers HS upon making an exceptional grade on the entrance exam, along with pure luck I suppose, which, again, pretty prestigious or should have been if I cared, to which I basically had to provide my parents one of my first ultimatums of what would be many: 'I'm gonna get all zeroes if you don't let me go to designated Public HS', likely because it didn't resonate with me at the time - part of me regrets it looking back tbh - and/or I didn't feel like I deserved it/belonged there either) just off my personality alone, which is a lot more humble and sweet than the tonality of this passage provides, often times declared by sources external to that of my own, however believable or on the contrary at face-value. What's crazier is how empty I feel on the inside in spite of everything I've accomplished with regards to, well, again, all facets of my life. Ex: Getting fired at my Banking job last year after the initiation of the divorce for inconsistent attendance, which is fair enough, then getting a new job later at the start of July only to get promoted off my performance by the end of the month, which, for better or for worse, has generally been my same song and dance with regards to my numerous occupations likely due to my need for validation/even 'consolidation' for not having it in me to pursue a Bachelor's degree, only to then go on leave for, frankly, no longer 'having it in me' despite my undying (and disgusting) desire to still push and/or power through in an effort, forevermore, to - not even emotionally amymore but physiologically, at this point - cope with this seemingly snowballing shit-storm of a situation that is and has been 'life' as I know it to be (admittedly/notably, taking the break DID feel good as I haven't really prioritized my own wellbeing like that before) but however eventual/inevitable, got fired for repeatedly giving a date for my return each time my manager reached out to check in on my well-being, only for my first ever and repeated semblance of a panic attack arising in spite of wanting to will myself, tooth and nail, out the house each of those individual instances, ultimately preventing me from following through with my now broken promises to aforementioned ex-manager - all part of this fuck-headed prophecy. :) In an effort to wrap this very real, very frustrating fool's fairytale up, it's important to note I've been jobless ever since that day, locked in my room, still more productive in many important aspects barring perhaps socially, but I'm in huge debt, especially since I had to fire my divorce attorney last year around August for having a 30% response/hit rate for anything that wasn't the bill - I wish I was wrong - though, I was hired at a coffee shop back in February as my mom thought (and still thinks/pushes this notion) that my problem is 'I need to get out there and into the world', welp, I listened albeit after weeks of conflict/disagreements/yelling (which actions in of themselves make me feel terrible since I once took great pride in being the family peacekeeper (and from a reasonably young age too, unfortunately enough) like any good son whom in which values their own mother's reasonable enough hypothesis would, except for, well, that job too, eventually and inevitably (in my mind) 'I' ending up quitting due to - long story short - unruly junior managers and their annoyingly asinine egos'.
Wrapping up, between going through a divorce with my wife, having been forced to live back with my forever faulty family, namely, with regards to my stubborn mother and father (however much I love them to pieces, to which I feel I express well enough, consistently enough, though at the same time think is fair holding back a bit affectionately given the frequency and intensity of my current circumstances, frankly). Thankfully, I have been able to maintain my well above average athleticism/physique (my words, sure, though genuinely intended with as little ego as possible, in fact more often than not mentioned by someone other than myself, and consistently so at that ever since the 10th grade when I initially started lifting/getting into Nutrition) through daily weighted pushups of 55 lbs in a sturdy backpack, along with my self taught singing voice (worded that way to emphasize I had to basically fight my mom and dad on investing time/energy into that back during HS as well, only to, like my fitness discipline, attaining a very high level on my own and in spite of the needless and unnecessary friction provided by family), along with, and perhaps most importantly, keeping up with my mental and spiritual literacies through many renowned online University lectures, free programs, videos by Dr. K-ing himself, etc. - all to say I'm at a point, currently, where this once 'Superman' persona that I suppose never existed in the capacity seems way closer to that of a depressed, worn down Clark Kent than ever before...
Sigh
(P.S. To my 🧠: Thank you, sincerely, for giving me the courage/chutzpah to finally deliberately declassify, denote, and deliver this deconstruction of my mind, however stylishly flawed, over the internet. Further, it's imperative that I mention my confirmed diagnoses of ADHD/Borderline/Childhood & Family Trauma, along with a pending/potential Bipolar disorder as the metaphorically 'maniacal' cherry on top. I'm seeing a psychologist ATM and am prescribed Adderall which helps me tremendously, both with regards to mood regulation as well as my ADHD symptoms. I've been taking medication for over 2 years now. Random but relevant side note: my insomnia started after the initiation of the divorce and again, I've basically slept once every other night throughout this whole duration)
(P.P.S. Forgive me for any inconsistencies/poor grammaseemingly unfinished statements and/or scenarios. I've had a couple hours of sleep the past 30ish hours, which has, give or take, been the case since June of last year.
(P.P.P.S. Crazy to acknowledge that I intended on sharing the first few sentences of this post when 'I' made the decision to write out this random Reddit post - I wonder, however hesitantly, what notable 'tomfoolery' my brain has planned as the potential outcome to this output and a half.)
(P.P.P.P.S. That's not even the full story LuL. Though I must mention I appreciate anyone bored/mad/strong-willed enough to muster their way from start to finish of my madness. I love this community with all of my heart, truly, and I'm sorry for coming across as brash or unapologetic at particular points, just not really feeling it ATM. Love and peace, always
Kindest regards,
Anotha One

So I don’t even know where to begin. I guess I’ll start from the very beginning. Sorry this will be long. Tia for anyone who leaves advice. My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We have two kids A who is 9 and L who is 13. In the beginning of our relationship my husband treated me horribly. I was essentially a single mother in a marriage. There has never been any DV, but he has cheated on me, crushed me, been an absent father, etc. When child A came along he did a complete 180. He stopped going out to bars he helped me more at home and became an overall better father and husband. He continued to cheat on me. I brought it up time and time again about him cheating and it was always the same old story I’m sorry I won’t do it anymore blah blah blah. Well fast forward a few years and things are going great. He stopped cheating he became a wonderful father and husband. He helped out with the kids, helped with chores at home etc. I have always been a stay at home mom so we rely on his income. Keep in mind my husband now makes really good money. Right around 6 figures a year - maybe slightly more. The kids and I live a wonderful life. We do whatever we want whenever we want because money isn’t an issue. We travel, the kids are in multiple select sports, we go to Disney yearly as well as the beach, etc. point being is we live a very comfortable lifestyle. A loves him so much and but L sees right through him. L holds some grudges from early on in her life of how crappy a father he was and how he treated me. But yet again I have found out he’s started cheating on me. AGAIN!!! I have no idea what to do. If I divorce him my kids and I will loose this comfortable lifestyle we live. I know for a fact he won’t be able to keep his good paying job he will resort back to his old ways of barley working and hanging out at bars. Should I just suck it up and let him continue to cheat then leave him once the kids are older?? Or do I leave him now and no longer have a comfy income and me and my kids lives would be turned upside down.

My NDad's primary mode of communication is to repeat the same sentence with minor variations over and over. He of course requires you to give him your full attention and to agree with him after each sentence, no matter how many times you've already agreed with him. He also does this in place of actually asking for things, instead choosing to repeat reasons why you should do something, why something needs to be done, why what you want to do instead is a bad idea, the same 4 or 5 anecdotes about him and his two friends when they were young, or what he wants over and over. This leads to situations where you have to guess what he wants, and if you guess wrong he gets angry.
Every "conversation" with him in it is just him endlessly spewing minor variations of the same points over and over while everyone tells him they agree. he's a very special boy, and generally mother him like he's six.
An example. My car had a bad alternator that killed the battery; in the maybe two days it was out of commission as I was finding a mechanic who works with two-decade-old European cars and arrange a tow/appointment, he would repeat over and over sentences like "You know how important a car is, right?", "Well, your car isn't safe to drive right now", "You need to get it fixed, okay?", "I'm saying this because it's very important", "You know that you need to go to the mechanic, right?", "Well, just think about calling them", "You need to find a mechanic, okay? Because it's important to get that car fixed. You can't let it sit around, alright? That would be unfair to us, to have it sitting around."
The kicker? The alternator broke while I was picking up my brother from work, because my dad "forgot" it was his job and got sloshed on whiskey shots. Funny how he never seems to consider all the ways that he isn't perfect or precognitive!
And this isn't spread out across the day; no, this is all one after the other in an intense staredown "conversation" (I've seen scoldings with more two-way communication than he's capable of). He says a few of those sentences, I look him straight in the eyes and say "Yes" or "I know" or "I'm already looking for a mechanic" or even "I scheduled a tow, it's being picked up at 9AM tomorrow"... and he does not stop talking. After I say I have been looking for a mechanic, his very next sentence will be something like "Okay, because it's important to find one." And then he'll end the "conversation" by saying "So, look up a mechanic, because it's really important you get the car fixed." Like he's not listening to me at all. It's utterly infuriating. There's absolutely nothing I can do or say to get him to stop until he's all finished dumping on me.
He'll pull me aside to scold and chide me, then I'll say "I already did that" or "I've been doing that already" or "I'm already doing it (holds up thing to gesture)", and he'll just keep going. He will lecture me about not doing something when I've already done the thing, and just repeat over and over how important it is, how hard it is for him that I'm not doing it, and how I need to do it.
He once filled the recycling bin from empty to full with a bunch of boxes while my brother was at school, then whipped himself into a simmering rage because my brother hadn't emptied it (while he was at school...), and then first thing he did when my brother came through the door was to scold him, tell him how important it is to take out the recycling, to literally bring him to the bin and point at it and go "See, it's full!", and even follow him as he brings the bin outside to keep telling him how important it is that he empties it. While he was emptying it. And the whole time, I just wonder; how it's worth it?
How is it worth it in my N's mind? He'll pin you down and lecture you for five minutes for a one-minute chore. If he would just ask one time, everything that upsets him would be completed so much sooner. If he would be honest and say what he means, he'd get what he wants way sooner, and he could be less upset all the time.
It's immensely draining, and I'm not sure why. Is it decoding his intentions, walking on eggshells and fearing catching a scolding entirely out of my control, the implication that I don't understand and need him to repeat himself, the making decisions for me, the way he treats me like I'm the bad guy or he has a problem with me...? Whichever way, even a one-minute talk with him can take me from energized to ready to go to bed, even if I just woke up.
And don't get me started on when he wants to show you something. Whether it's to belittle you or scold you or get you to praise him for buying granola bars at the grocery store (yes, really...), he'll bring the item right up to you and literally point at it like you're an idiot. He bought almond granola bars and he literally told me he got them, then brought me to the cupboard to show me, then picked up the box and told me again, then literally pointed at the big words on it that said "almonds", and then told me again that he bought them.
Can anyone relate?

This is a long one.
I am 23F. Shortly after I was born, my mother forfeited her custody of me to my dad. She had / has severe drug problems, and mental health problems. I never really got to know her
My dad was an alcoholic and couldn’t afford to raise me alone, so he decided to move states when I turned 3, and live with my grandparents. My grandma and grandpa became essentially my primary caregivers. My dad remained dependent on alcohol for the bulk of my childhood, sneaking out at night and hiding alcohol bottles throughout the house. Some of my earliest memories include my grandpa and I driving to bars to track him down in the middle of the night; finding that my piggy bank money was being stolen to support his addiction. It got so bad that one night, I found my dad huddled over having a seizure as I was getting ready for bed. I was about 10 years old and had to run to the neighbors to get help.
It got to the point to where the collection of DUIs sent him to prison for a year.
Me and my grandparents formed a tight bond throughout all of this. My grandma in particular, was my rock. She pretty much taught me everything I know and made sure that I was okay.
My dad came back from prison when I was about 13, and he became an amazing father, for a good 3 years we actually formed a good relationship. He bought a nice house for us and my grandparents to live in.
Fast forward about 3 years, he starts dating a girl (who has 2 young children of her own). As soon as she starts living there, it’s pure chaos. Yelling all of the time, drinking, fighting… I hated being there. They eventually kicked my grandparents out to make room.
My dad became absent again. Missing my important school events, emotionally neglecting me. He barely ever spoke to me. They also became extremely frugal with me. I ended up getting a job just to afford my prom dress and my graduation gown.
I graduated high school and moved away at the age of 17. My grandma died when I was 20 and in college, which shattered my whole life. I am the one who found her. She genuinely was the most important person in my life, my role model.
Around this time, I found out that my dad was gambling. A lot. He and his girlfriend became homeless and I started paying a lot of their needs. Hotels, gas, food, and just random amounts of money. I only made about $400 a paycheck and paid rent of my own, but I did what I could.
My grandpa passed away a year ago (I was 22) and now my only family is my dad.
Fast forward to today. I am now 23, graduated college with a psychology degree, and my dad is still homeless. He is no longer with his girlfriend as she finally decided to start prioritizing her kids. My dad and I are not on speaking terms, as I feel like I’ve used all of the resources I have to help him, and when things don’t go his way, he takes it out on me via text. I am heart broken. I don’t see anything looking up for me. I hate my job and I am constantly tired. My car is half broken. My dog has a chronic illness that is terrifying to deal with. I am so unhappy right now.
I have my partner to rely on, but his family doesn’t try to get to know me. It seems like his parents probably don’t even know my middle name, and I’ve been with my partner for 8+ years.
Can anyone else relate to feeling lonely like this? I recently got diagnosed with ptsd. I can barely attend my partners family events without having some sort of meltdown.
If you’ve gotten this far, I really appreciate you for reading this.

They killed my dog that I had raised and made me sign the papers. I don't particularly hate my father because even he did not have a say but it was my mother's doing. She is in her school doing whatever the fuck she does and made me kill what I could call my child. 9 days to jee. Drop year. Already depressed as fuck. Everything is falling apart. I force myself to live and study everyday. Now she does that. Aaj ke din na padhai hui na hone vali hai. Emotional bakchodi on top. Kyun karra hun jee. Kiske liye kar raha hun. Melatonin ke gummies pade hain mere pass sleeping problems hain. Kya hi karna hai behen ki chut 20 gummies kha lunga apne aap full apne kutte ki tarah hi mar jaunga. Voh bhi neend ki tarah site hue mara hoga main bhi mar jata hu. Kutte ki ma ka bhosda baki sab bhi chuda hi hua hai. Bas one more reason to hate life. Aur voh behen ka loda nadi mein doob gaya tha fir bhi madarchod bach gaya. Uske severe physical trauma hua mental fits ki vajah se fir bhi bhagwan ne bacha liya. Ek mahine tak dhudhte rage fir bhi ni mila fir bhi bhagwan ne bacha liya. Aur in behen ke Lodon ne mar diya. I could basically not do much for him because mujhe jee pe focus karna hai. There were ways to save him but they instead chose to "euthanize" him. Pretty sure that's what awaits me if I am in a similar condition. Conditional love hai bhai. Kai bar kaha hai mujhse chor denge terko ek do bar ghar ke bahar rat mein bhi nikala hai. There is literally no hope. Let's see how my mind pulls me out this time. Agar kisi ko background pata hoga to he must know main vaise bhi mentally chuda hi hua hun it's the final straw. Like the official mini form of tragedy. Let's observe how my mind pulls me out of this vortex. Let's see how I save myself. Let's sit and watch.

Hey everyone a couple of months ago I posted on here that I was tired of living with my DACA status and that I wanted a solution. I gathered the courage to ask my employer if they would sponsor me for an employment based green card. THEY SAID YES! Now the only problem that I have is that before I Received DACA for the first time In 2012. I was over 18.5 years old with triggers the bar preventing me from re- entering the United States unless I re-enter with advance parole. My lawyer advised me to ask for advance parole so that I would be able to come back and gain legal entry. But my question is what about traveling to the Netherlands first? I haven’t been there since I was 10 (2005). when my mother was alive she would always take me to renew my passport. She has since passed away but my Dutch passport doesn’t expire until May 2026. My brother is SEVERELY against my trying to travel back home with advanced parole because he feels like the government has changed a lot in the last 20 years. And that they could question me and potentially not allow me to leave until they would investigate my situation further. Besides my Dutch passport what else could I show upon entry that I’m just there to adjust my status for an employment based visa. I’m an accountant I have my bachelors degree in accounting. Does anyone here have RECENT experience traveling to the Netherlands on advance parole? Or Europe in general? What did they say at the airport what did you need? All advice is welcomed? Since the advanced parole could take a while I still have time to make a calculated decision.
Thanks for reading

I've been quietly working on this server for a while, but it's now reached the point where we are hampered by a lack of players (and thus prospective helpers for building the server infrastructure). Thus, I present to you...
Halsion Reach: Precipicea.
Version: 1.18.2 Modpack: Halsion Reach: Precipicea (Technic launcher) Official Discord: discord.me/halsionreach (Using discord.me link for ease of memory). Primary unique features:

• WIP full economy (All items will have a designated value in the economy, allowing for a globally stable economic system)
• Public transport transit system (WIP as of this post)
• Active staff (Myself and my mother, both of whom are more than happy to help with any issues you might have
• Ability to create a co-operative "base" Settlement which will feed into the economy through a chosen Specialisation
• Specialisations include Residential Sprawl, Extraction (Ore mining), Arcane (magic based), Industrial (Tech based), Aquaculture (fishing and farming of ocean-based materials), and Commercial Hub (Mixed shop and residential areas, creating a kind of live-in marketplace)
• Not quite a unique feature, but common sense rules (no offensive names or structures, no griefing/theft, etc).
• A simple ranking system: Nomad (Player has just joined, but not yet become a Resident of any Settlement, nor Founded a Settlement), Resident (Has joined but not Founded a Settlement), Mayor (Has Founded a Settlement). These are the only 3 ranks needed for the way my server works.
• Above these are the staff ranks: Builder, Moderator and Admin
• Currency may be obtained by selling material goods to a shop, selling items you own "off market", or by attending a bank branch with copper ingots. You may also use the Amadron Tablet to trade copper nuggets and ingots for coins.
• Simple currency system: Coins are worth 10 of the coin below them, and coin piles are worth 9 of their coin material.
• Unique heart system thanks to Spice of Life: Carrot Edition. You begin with 1 heart, but can obtain up to in excess of 30 bars of health.

Description

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a city in minecraft? Well look no further, because in the Halsion Reach Modded Nationbuilding Project (Or Halsion Reach Nation Project for short), you can do just that! Want to become a world-famous engineer? Go for it! Want to become an all-powerful mage? Sure! Or perhaps your mind is set on a more... Commercial endeavour. The world is waiting... Why not become an ultra-wealthy business mogul? Whatever you want to be, the Reach can get you there.
Halsion Reach: Precipicea is simply waiting for you to take the leap of faith. Join us, and make your mark on this world.

**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwaway151702
Slight chance my (39M) pregnant wife (38F) had an affair, should I ask for a paternity test or wait?
Originally posted to relationship_advice
TRIGGER WARNING: possible infidelity, fertility issues
Original Post May 9, 2024
My wife (38F) and I (39M) have been together for 12 years. I don't know how to describe it other than calling it the perfect relationship. I think in 12 years we've only ever gotten to the point of really raising our voices at one another maybe 2 or 3 times? We do everything together but always have never had issues allowing each other to lead our own lives and follow our own interests. We bought a house where we wanted.... we both have good high paying jobs that have great work life balance. Basically it's been everything short of perfect.
We've been trying for 2 years to get pregnant and it hadn't been happening. We were just about to start the fertility stuff when I came home from a work trip, and guess what she's pregnant. I had this weird instant thought of.... Wait I thought we didn't try during the week last month because of the fertility testing... But I couldn't remember exactly because to be honest... We were busy at it. So I just assumed I miss remembered.
Now, I travel around the country pretty regularly for work. Other than COVID, I've been on the road as much as 40 weeks a year sometimes. Since COVID its been less but still more than a week a month.
Over the last 4-5 years my wife has gotten very friendly with a guy she works with, let's call him Matt. Matt is slightly younger, I think 34M or so. I know him, he's married, I know his wife. They've worked together for I think 7 years or so. He's always been around, him and I have been friendly. Have I ever thought something was happening? No, but I've always thought.... You'd be a fool to not think there's even a 1% chance your spouse would go outside the relationship. Maybe I'm naive, but I've always seen it as a safeguard to not take my wife or any other partner in the past for granted. She's never given me a reason to think she'd do that. But anything is possible.
So about a month ago I'm out of state for work and she's at home. I ask her what she's doing earlier in the day and she says Matt is coming by for dinner. Not out of the ordinary, Matt comes by from time to time. Sometimes with his wife, sometimes without, sometimes when I'm not there. I don't think much of it.
We have a security system which includes cameras both inside and outside of the house which we installed after an unrelated incident a few years ago. They record and are live accessable by both her and I. I often use those cameras to check on the dog when I or both of us are away, as the rest of the system is monitored by a company Incase of an alarm going off.
She knows I check those cameras, there's a system installed where I can talk through them. I'll mess with my wife and she will with me on them if either of us are out of town (she travels for work as well, but far less than I do). Point is, it's known that I check them often when I'm not at home.
So I turn on the camera and I see my 4 months pregnant wife, lying on the floor, on her side with Matt sitting, straddling her legs and using a foam roller to message her hips. So I'm like.... Ok... What the fuck is this. I start rewinding through the footage and they are eating and talking normally, but then they get on the couch and get under the same blanket. Now...... They are feet to feet, but that couch isn't that big. Then they move to the floor and that's when I logged in.
Anyway I text her, I'm still watching the cameras they both look like deer in headlights and he very quickly leaves. We get into an argument she isn't mad at me accusing her but she's adamant that nothing has or ever would happen, and that what I saw was innocent and she was complaining about being in pain from the pregnancy.... Which I know is true shes already having some issues with back pain etc.. The biggest point of that discussion was I asked "If I were there would you two have been comfortable doing any of that Infront of me" and she reluctantly admitted... No probably not. I told her I didn't want to talk after that and we'd talk when I got home 3 days later.
That's when It hit me..... What if my weird gut moment feeling about her telling me she was finally pregnant, was... This. What if my 1% happened and this is not my child we are having?
Now, it eats away at my while I'm at a hotel alone a thousand miles away for 3 days. I reconcile with myself that... I think it's less likely than more likely that something between them has happened. But Basically my 1% just jumped to.... 10% 20% maybe?
I get home and she's on eggshells and doesn't mention it. I kinda wait to see what she's going to do. 2 days later she finally brings it up and breaks down. Swears nothing has happened she would never. Doesn't do anything over the top to try and prove anything... Which I took as a good sign. But anyway we talk out the issue and everything to a point of at least moving forward for now. I'm still coping and dealing with it figuring out how to re trust after all this time.
I'm getting more and more understanding of the fact that they are friends they've been friends for so long, maybe he has intentions.... But I don't see her having any and I've never really picked up on it and I've spent time around both of them together many many times, and never caught anything.
So the thing that is destroying me right now is.... If I'm wrong and something did happen... While I can figure out how to deal with that... What if that child isn't mine. In the argument and few long conversations we've had about the situation since I've never brought that up, and she's not mentioned it. Mostly because I don't want to make the situation worse and crush her if infact she's telling the truth, which I mostly Believe.
The only thing I can think to do at this point is to wait until the baby is born and immediately order a paternity test in secret. Should I do that? Should I tell her and have it dealt with now? If you're a woman in her shoes and you're telling the truth, would that destroy you, or your view of me? If you're lying what would you do if I asked? I don't want to ask a super vague question but..... What do I do?!
TLDR: very small chance my wife of 12yrs had an affair and she's 4 months pregnant and I can't bring myself to ask for a paternity test for fear of crushing her if nothing actually happened. But I am planning on doing it in secret when the baby comes. What do I do?
Update: Soo many comments. Thank you everyone more than I can address directly but I'm going to keep reading a few things.
1 stop DMing me about this, thanks.
2 some have made some good points about addressing it now rather than later and that's something that I'm considering more than I was before, thank you.
3 to those focused only on my relationship. I get it but that's not what I'm focused on. We've been talking about it a lot. My wife and I are pretty open people with each other. I'm not saying I'm convinced nothing happened but I'm more focused on paternity right now.
4 if I need to track, spy on, life360, my wife. Then this relationship is over already. That's not the relationship we have and not one that I ever want, and in my opinion not one anyone should ever have. We are working on rebuilding trust. As I said in this long winded post my default of 1% possibility went up to 10% or so. Trust me I'm taking my relationship seriously but to those I've said this to already. If the kid isn't mine, then there's no longer any conversation to have.
5 I've already had this discussion with my lawyer, I don't live in a state where the birth certificate stuff will be an issue. If I have paperwork that this child isn't mine than divorce isn't going to be much of an issue. Both of us are in an independent financial situation where it won't matter much regardless.
I'll keep up with this post as long as I can and post an update when and if anything gets resolved.
Update May 10, 2024
Update: Slight chance my (39M) pregnant wife (38F) had an affair, should I ask for a paternity test or wait?
Here's the original post from yesterday.
https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/s/CphGAU9Tsm
So she was out of state on a business trip until late last night. It's Friday so she worked from home in our kitchen. So I asked to talk and brought it up and asked for a test.
She immediately said yes and said there's zero doubt and nothing that she'd even have a second to worry about. But she has no problem doing it now. The only caveat I left it with is. If it's invasive at all per our doctors then I'm ok waiting until it's low risk. (I'm not a doctor, no clue what they'd have to do to do it now)
So not sure when we are. But she's aware and we are getting one. It was a decent and longer conversation. We are currently sitting together getting lunch. She's got no clue I did this on Reddit. Hence the new account because she is on here somewhere.
Thank you everyone for your help and opinions, a bunch of you made me realize that we are already really open about everything and if nothing happened then she wouldn't worry about getting one.
I was more worried about her health and adding some insane level of stress if it was an issue as she's an at risk pregnancy and it took soooooo long for us to get pregnant.
So again thank you all for the help. I suppose I can update if it's mine or not but I'm not sure how long that will be. I'm... 90-95% sure it is mine. But this will help us continue this conversation.
Thank you.
Update: just because it seems to be more of a topic on this post vs the other one for some reason.... Yes I have the footage. No I haven't talked to Matt yet. He's told her he wants to talk about it but I've told them to wait on that. My relationship with my wife and the paternity is what's important right now. I will eventually talk with Matt.
No I'm not going to get Matt's wife involved intentionally. I don't know why I would other to just be vindictive. I'm not going to cover for him obviously but his relationship is his. And mine is mine. I'm not interested in making this worse. Whatever is going on between him and his wife isn't any of my business.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP when asked why his wife thought she could be intimate with someone else

We've talked about it at length nothing is being ignored. I could write you an essay about our past, her reasons and my feelings on it. But instead I'll just say. I'm aware of it. She's claiming innocence of anything further but at the same time admitting that it wasn't a good look but she wasn't thinking about it at the time. And that's what we are currently working through.

When told it doesnt look innocent and asked if his wife goes to Matt's house when his wife isn't home

She's 4 months. I was home. And we had been on the clock..... To the point of the days blending together, trust me.
We are pretty open people and pretty comfortable with ourselves and each other. I don't know if she's been to his house without his wife. I mean the 3 and 4 of us all hang out probably once or twice a month but they work directly together everyday and have for years. So obviously there's a closeness there. They are both upper management in their company. And at my company I have long term friends that are women. I've traveled with them we've done dinner and hung out in hotel rooms together. But I've never done anything because, that's not me. I'm married and love my wife and my life. I have no reason to.
So I mean the optics are bad. I just have to decide if it's only the optics. Or if she has a reason too. Maybe he has a reason too and that's what I saw? That I'm not sure about. But that comes down to, do I trust her to handle that. She says if that's the case she's never noticed it. And she hangs out with him and his wife just about as much as he hangs out with us. She works in a building right near them. My company is based out of Chicago and I live on one of the coasts. So my coworker friends are much more spread out. We can't go to the bar to grab afterwork drinks any day like they can. Honestly I usually go to their work hangouts more than mine because of that. I'm friendly with her CEO because of it.
So is it perfect? No. But I've always trusted her, I've never had a reason not to. In 15 years, this is the first, crack or dent in it.

OOP gives a clearer description of what happened that day

That's not what I saw. She said something, he froze. Said something I couldn't hear she said no no don't worry about it. He put something in the dishwasher and she walked him out to the front door. He didn't dive out the window.
You have to remember this is Reddit. I'm not putting every single nuanced detail in this because that would take me hours to write and I'm not putting my security footage on the Internet for strangers to see. The reason I have the security system in the first place is because of a stranger on the internet.
I'm not saying anything beyond that didn't happen for sure between them. I'm saying I don't know now and I don't have any proof. That's what my wife and I are discussing just about every day and what we are working through.
The original point of the post was..... The only thing we hadn't talked about was paternity because I don't want to put her in a situation where she medically loses the child. Mine or not.
Not only have I not been able to put every single nuanced thing in this I've also sprinkled in false details about our lives, nothing pertinent to what happened but other mundane details. I was a very small public figure at one point. And some low life from the Internet traveled across the country to make death threats against us because of something warped in his head. To the point where the federal government had to get involved.
People in here are wildly jumping at conclusions with much less information than I have and ignoring the original point of the post and the original questions asked.

Has he told Matt's wife

She is my wife's friend's wife. We don't meet up and knit together. I know her through my wife. I see her maybe once every few months at a bar after work, or if they come by for dinner or to hang out. We aren't besties.
Again what should I go tell her. Hey your husband was at my house. I knew he was there and I saw him run a foam roller over the outside of my wife's hip while he was sitting on her feet..... It's super obvious they are fucking and Even though I'm not sure. It's possible she's carrying his baby.
This isn't a soap opera. There's nothing I KNOW that I can tell her so why would she take my word on what tiny evidence there is. And why or how in the world would that help my situation? If all of this is false now I've destroyed my relationship for acting like a child trying to drum up drama for what obviously looks like being vindictive, and I put them in the same situation we are in now.... For something THAT I DON'T KNOW IS TRUE YET.
I believe you have entirely lost the plot here.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Can anyone walk this bar prepper through an con law analysis of this:
In regards to including bans on fake and non-animal based dite foods from State welfare (SNAP), Iowa has decided to do the following, "Late in the legislative process, Republicans in the Iowa House amended the bill to add the provision that says Iowans enrolled in food assistance programs like SNAP for low-income individuals and WIC for low-income mothers cannot use those benefits to purchase egg substitute products."
Can you provide the appropriate constitutional analysis of this decision?

(This is gonna be a long one.) Me and my family haven’t went on a vacation in 13 years. I usually travel a lot for business trips or trips with my friend. This time I really wanted to go to Chicago and asked if my parents would like to come. They agreed and I’ve been the one spending all the time planning it. I’ve been working on this trip since fall of last year looking up hotels, closest places to the metro, foods, sight seeing, etc. You can imagine how exhausting that is planning it by yourself with very little help. I did get some help from my mom but the burden was left on my shoulders. It gets better! Not only did they finally purchase their ticket a few weeks before the flight, but they all depended on me to help them with almost everything. No one did any prior research or planning but left me with deciding which restaurants we went to, where to go next, being the freaking navigator until my battery ran out and standing behind them on time. Sometimes, I had to encourage them to just use their phone or ask someone around them since I’ve never been there and I don’t have all the answers. I admit, I was trying to come to Chicago that was most affordable for all of us so it ended up being after Mother’s Day weekend where the weather wasn’t the best the first two days, especially the second. We could have still did some indoor things but my parents didn’t want to. I get our first day was tiring from early flights so we just settled in. Thankfully I came first and got to do a little sight seeing. Second day, we went to the field museum. This was a mistake because it really takes times going in there and my parents took their sweet time looking at everything! My dad especially would take 5 minutes or more to look at one thing. And then do the same to the next thing. I had to keep saying something because I wanted to at least do somethings and leave. Another mistake was going back to the hotel real quick. That real quick became the rest of the day. 4pm they were done. So the only day we got to do stuff was the day before we left. Between my dad complaining, my mom being snippy, dad holding up the bathroom, and this whole trip being my responsibility, I don’t think I’ll ever go on a trip with them again. I certainly don’t miss my mom pointing out or stating the obvious whenever we traveled. Eventually I couldn’t help but start shutting down and wishing to go home. I have never been so drained from a trip in my life!! Thankfully my parents headed back home before me and I FINALLY I had the day to enjoy and go to places I wanted to without having to consider them. It felt good to navigate without them bumping into me a lot, asking me a ton of questions, or bickering about dumb stuff. I do love my parents and glad I got some time with them before going on another business trip. However, solo travel is beautiful and I look forward to my next vacation alone.